#this game is such a fucking crutch for me rn

[copdog1234]

What I wouldn't give to be a silly little half-elf wizard running around Faerun with my sad malewife/mansplain wizard boyfriend, and my found family consisting of a broken vampire twink, a literally on fire buff cinnamon roll, the epitome of religious trauma goth girl, the meanest green bitch to ever exist, and purest folk hero who wants nothing but to do good in the world.

[kae-eee]

OK so, I wanna hear ur thought abt apple pls-

i have another post like this about her im not looking for rn (edit i found it) but i have so many more

apple is a fucking horse girl

dare i even say brony

she feels a spiritual connection to twilight

she’s also a theatre kid

and she’s apple so ofc she gets lead for every play

including musicals

she cannot fucking sing

she’s just so repressed something about her screams not cis to me

i think the first person she’d come out to is daring

she feels like she owes it to him to let him know

they’re in a qpr

tosses and turns in her sleep

if she ever even does i feel like she works through the night a lot

she feels like she’s failing as a princess if she relaxes

does grwm videos

in denial about liam payne rn

he was her comphet celebrity crush

shes so very interested in anatomy and the insides of everything

she wants to take everything apart

and when she’s alone she does

as a little treat

shes so strange i think if this was a modern au thing she’d wanna be something like a coroner

will start crashing out if you mention chappell throne

she doesn’t like cheese or milk

thinks too hard about where it comes from

honestly she doesn’t want any kids but she’ll have them anyway

has had an unrealized crush on just about all of her girl friends

is NOT ready for a relationship like at all

the second you ship her with someone it becomes doomed bc girly is not stable enough for all that

sometimes i think of her as aromantic and the biggest hopeless romantic at once and has romanticized this idea of true love since she was a little girl

this also gets me thinking about what it she just fucking died during dragon games

because even tho she loves so much and so hard it’s smothering

she’ll never be in love

or what if she fucking died because darling never tried to kiss her

what if her destined true love was a princess charming from a whole other line of charmings

if you can’t tell dappling pisses me off a little bit

not the ship itself but the way it’s usually written

like can we dig deeper into darling? show us her comphet too? bc there isn’t a single person at that school who doesn’t have heteronormativity engrained into them

this is about apple tho so let me stfu

back to dappling i think they’re like childhood friends who grew apart and got even more split from the destiny debate

hell i don’t even think they’re into each other

apples romanticizing darling as her true love

and darling feels obligated to act as such

shes just happy her destiny isn’t to be a damsel tbh

apple is in chronic pain

she doesn’t acknowledge it

doesnt know why

doesnt see a doctor about it even tho she knows they could afford it just fine

her mother knows and also ignores this

because her blonde hair and fucked up eyesight was more than enough flaws for a future snow white

and a future queen

kingdom management stresses her the fuck out

because i really don’t think she’s actually a people person

i actually think she’s very socially anxious naturally

and all those meetings with those powerful people terrify her

has scheduled crying time for when she knows raven isn’t home

will absolutely gaslight raven out of thinking she came in and saw apples eyes all puffy and red

do yall think she’d try weed?

she needs to do SOMETHING to chill out at least

chronic muscle tension

doesnt know there’s a word for why certain spots on her body and hard and cold to the touch

absolutely nothing to do with her chronic pain

trust me

her royal highness needs some royal crutches fr babygirl is struggling

that’s all that comes to mind rn because im in class, but tell me some of yours!

[thehallstara]

anyways. things keeping me going rn:

fhjy

the very real chance of getting to spend my birthday, my partner's birthday, and our anniversary together this year

playing silly little games with my friends

beloved research

both the excitement and fear of getting crutches (i keep dreaming about being able to walk through museums and stuff this summer. walk!!! here's hoping.)

adult sleepovers (or the potential of)

crocheting with reclaimed yarn

doing a drag show this year (hopefully)

library books

planning for the future <3

lesbians

making things just for me

good fucking music

birthday in chicago??? maybe???? hopefully????

a story i'm really really excited about telling

friends!!!!

[loveinhawkins]

Since you’re taking “directors cut” questions about nbtdad, I have to ask about Steve and Dustin’s reunion- it’s one of my favorite parts of the whole fic! The way Steve immediately asks Dustin about his leg, even though he was intentionally trying to conceal the injury, it’s so them and I love it so much!! I’d love to hear more of your thoughts!

oh i am so delighted to hear it’s one of your favourite parts, their relationship means so much to me ❤️

yeah Steve immediately noticing Dustin’s leg was an important detail for me to get in there, as was Dustin deliberately “forgetting” his crutches; before Steve asked about it, Dustin was hoping to hide it from him, reasoning that Steve had enough to contend with. Of course Steve’s basically trained himself to be vigilant & keep an eye on everyone, especially the kids, so he clocks Dustin’s leg as soon as he walks in.

“Dustin,” Steve says. One of his hands is braced against the mattress, like he’d be on his feet and running over if only he could. “Dustin, I’m so sorry.” Dustin shakes his head. “No,” he whispers. “No, fuck you, you don’t get to—to say that.” Steve’s face falls. “I… I get it, dude,” he says. “It’s—”

^both of them are also really struggling with guilt here. from Steve’s POV, he thinks Dustin is simply angry at him for how he initially lied to all the kids before leaving them at his house & he believes that anger to be entirely justified. Dustin meanwhile has been beating himself up that his last words ever to Steve were almost “I hate you.”

“I…” Dustin hiccups, gasps—cries without restraint, like a child. Because he is one. “I don’t hate you.” “Shh,” Steve says. “I know, I know.” He presses a kiss to the top of Dustin’s head, then hugs him tight; and Eddie watches as Steve’s face briefly crumples, before he visibly pulls himself together. “Everything’s okay. Hey, shh, shh. We’re okay, we’re okay.” 

‘cries without restraint, like a child. Because he is one’, i always find it really important to emphasise just how young they all are, including Steve & Eddie. & the moment where ‘Steve’s face briefly crumples, before he visibly pulls himself together’ is partly him being reminded of his vision from Vecna, where he held a dead Dustin in his arms—& that reminder prompts the nightmare he has later. & again it’s significant that Steve rn is only letting himself falter when he thinks no-one can see—& that Eddie still notices.

i liked finding a balance of Eddie being there for just a snapshot of this scene (ready to step in if it seems like Dustin’s not ready for this etc) & that he knows when to step back, give them time alone. obviously i couldn’t get into this from Eddie’s perspective, but I think Dustin & Steve just hold onto each other for a long time, needing a physical reminder that the other is safe.

And Steve perhaps shares a bit more with Dustin about what Vecna said to him in the RV, to try and help him understand just why the plan changed so abruptly, why he left the kids at his house to begin with—I had it my head that Vecna knows Steve would die for the kids & he makes the threat that if any of them go to The Upside Down/the Creel House, he’ll kill them instantly. I kinda have vague thoughts on info like that coming up in separate one shots or something like that maybe? But rn I’m tied into Eddie’s POV of events ❤️

fic director’s commentary ask game

[butterflywonz]

I miss you

And john is hot😔

I screamed so loud when they asked him to help me out of the rock pool... He was already keeping my fking crutch istg I wanted to cry in the water...

Nathan look like 🥢, I'm fr so mad at Rebecca for doing that bro... LIKE HIS EAR PHONES WEEE OUT AND EVERYTHING, but I could here him humming behind me which was cute, I mean I kinda have to be friends with Rebecca, cuz I'm nice 🙂 ( and she has a fucking Voodoo doll and I'm not risking shit) sooo yeah... Tortoise looks like he spells special in a specific way..(spechal) I have to stay at school till 5:30 Tommorow 😱 cuz MOS kpop society and also wp, so I might kms soon 😙...

So yeahhhh, also ,lamo is our thing, so is cumpy, so is 1bedroomapartmentguy, so is 🫡👀(Justin), so is " this one Mwah Mwah" so is Bessie chasing us, so is deep throating popsicles (Wtf was wrong with us…??) So is speaking made up languages at night *click click*, so is making fun of me stander 🏍️⚰️, so is thinking we're going to get raped by Justin Truscott, so is Mr kolesky saying penis infront of us, so is the fact that we've never kissed before ( we haven't?) So is the shirtless pics we got from Zachary (she's beautiful but she not my type), so is Abraham as a hole (wait no not like 🕳️, so whole?) So is his nipple tbh, so is going home late afterschool, so is that crazy looking girly telling you not to take pics of her man even though we were taking pics of Kakas, so is me accidentally walking into the unisex bathroom and getting the biggest shock of my life seeing Joshua (gr 11) and thinking I was in the wrong bathroom... And then having a conversation with bradlen... So is when we went on that ride at play land, so is when we thought they were playing FEVER at a children's birthday, so is when we got into the car ready to go home from said children's birthday party actual attractive people arrive, so is us randomly saying cum, so is that guy face timing us to jerk off, so is Chris's cock (I'm sorry) so is monkey as a app, so is Eric from Portugal ( more like Thabo from Nigeria) so is us being racist towards each other(and Fatima) so is the fact that zaarah gives off lesbian vibes, so is the fact that Willow makes me wanna actually rip out my intestines and shove them down her throat to make her stfu, so brownwon..., so is randomly doing antifragile in the middle of BayWest, so is shit talking nirvana cuz we just don't like her, so is randomly "AHHHHHHHH" when we see someone moderately attractive, so is pretending my knee is choking, so is the dislocation of my knee, so are these 2 year old bad boys, so are those yellow and blue woosan birds, so is pause games, so is convincing jaylin soobin died, so is me crying because.. "what If heeseung kills himself" , so is Daniel making me cry 3 times..., so is making jokes about making Jason more handicap, so is reading ff's together, so is the fact that this is so fucking long..., so is us shit talking your mother... With your father, so is lukho flashing us, so is us learning a dance and forgetting it, so is us disliking some idols... Just because, so is you making me come home crying in grade 5, so is us being not even being friends..., so is the fact that I would do anything for you... And also so is the fact that we PLANNED YOU RUN AWAY!?!?!?!?! love you babes, I miss you too.... Theres loads more but like....

ALSO ASBLF I UNDERSTAND IF YOU DIDN'T READ ALL OF THIS...

Im anonymous so like... I could be Anyone ...

So like leaked intak 😻 pics?!?!

PLEASE TELL ME NOWW RAAAAHHHHH okay bye ml

OH MY WORD WIFEY I MISS YOU SO SO SO MUCHHHH!!!

im so sick RN so I can't come to but pls tell the kpop club ppl that I wna join but I'm DYING WOOHOO

dude Nathan is hot

ALSO I'M NOT ALLOWED TO USE THIS PHONE ANYMORE THIS IS ME BEING SHNEECCEE AT MIDNIGHT

I love you sosoosososososososososo much and I appreciate the long ask (I read it all btw) I ALSO DON'T LIKE WILLOW<3

Wtf is ety coz Ik what what wp is and stuff but ETY? WHAT'S YOUR ETY WHATS YOUR ETY.

apparently the kpop club does BEAT stuff during the year too🐢

Ha yeah tortoise us hot:)

Love you babes I miss you<3

Btw "MY KNEE IS CHOKING, SOMEONE WITH BRACES, CURLY HAIR AND LOTS OF BADGES PLEASE HELP!!!!"

[annoyingfobbie]

long personal post that I'm kind of just making for my own reference later on, below:

been very seriously considering breaking edge recently. Idk, i feel like now that I'm not a teenager, a lot of my fears about how i'd treat alcohol and substances no longer apply as much. The reasons I kept edge for so long despite it being like really really difficult at times were 1. bc I'm the queen of self sabotage and I felt like if I allowed myself to drink and do drugs, I'd use them to do that, 2. i get extremely addicted to things extremely easily. I know that a lot of people say that but trust me like i'm REALLY bad about it, and I have no self control when it comes to the things I'm addicted to. And those things aren't even supposed to be addictive!!!!, and then lastly, 3. the general straightedge punk subculture is something that has always appealed to me a lot and I have a lot of respect for it.

Now. Things have changed a bit. Now that I'm, like, an adult, it'll be a lot more difficult for me to get away with using drugs and alcohol to self sabotage. It'll be really obvious if I start doing that, which will make it easy for me to spot, as well as all the people around me that care about me. When I was still a teenager, everyone around me was drinking too much and using drugs unhealthily, because its just kind of that stage of your life, you know? It would be easier to brush off as just doing what everyone else was doing. With my second point, yeah, I still am worried about addiction, very much so, in fact. But I think that my fear of it is healthy in the sense that I'll really keep an eye on myself, as will the people around me. Similar to my previous point, basically. And then three.... theres a lot of great in the straightedge community and theres a lot of bad. thats just with everything. And if it doesn't really suit my lifestyle anymore, then I'm not gonna stick with it just because I like the idea of the subculture.

My reasons for wanting to break edge rn are as follows: I want to be able to loosen up and feel more comfortable in certain social situations. like, liquid courage, or whatever. I wanna be able to have fun and shit. I don't feel any kind of desire to start getting *drunk* drunk ever, I just wanna be able to get buzzed when i go out with my friends, or when we're watching the football game or whatever. Thats it.

my NEW worries about it are these: I'm worried about breaking edge making it harder for me to not smoke cigarettes, which is NOT something I should ever do, and I know that. But I always really really want to. but its really bad for you and nicotine addiction fucks with your life and shit and I know that. But god I want to so bad. I'm worried that if I start drinking, I'll start breaking other rules I've set for myself, like no cigarettes. I'm also worried that it'll help a little too much with my social anxiety lol. Its really common for people with social anxiety to become alcoholics because they use it too much as a social crutch. I can definitely see that happening for me.

Anyways yeah I just wanted to make this post for myself to get my thoughts together and to be able to look at later, and also see if anyone else is or has been straightedge and has any sort of thoughts or advice!

[jiminrings]

bestie what if jungkook finally finds out that jin’s friends with y/n 😭😭😭 he’d live in embarrassment for like eight business days

cold senior!y/n x stem major!koo masterlist :D

jungkook wants to crawl in a ditch for bADLY misjudging a situation he should’ve foreseen in the first place

yoongi has never been this dedicated to curing his hangover

well actually, nO ONE was really forcing him to pick you and taehyung up anyway

you didn't even ask!!! you could 10/10 just call for an uber to bring back taehyung to his place

maybe, just maybe, it's your fault that when yoongi asked you where you were when he's just woken up from a long night of partying, you mentioned "i'm with taehyung" and hospital and go home in the same sentence so that's why he went to overdrive

did he process what you said correctly?? probably not <3

that's the whole reason why yoongi had wasted sIX eggs this morning!!

he read somewhere in passing and watched song-hwa from hospital playlist enough to know that drinking eggs apparently helps you with your hangover and some other things

first, he wasted tHREE eggs because apparently, you're not supposed to drink the eggs !!! whisked !!! because it "defeats" the whole purpose

but it's still an egg whether you whisk it and no one's sane enough to drink raw eggs unprovoked

yoongi nailed it on the second try and he might have gagged a few times but the important thing is, his hangover is all-cured from the stress of digesting raw eggs :D so now he can safely drive at a borderline dangerous speed to pick you and tae up

"hey kiddo."

you peer your head up to see yoongi looking down at you, ruffling your hair in greeting

you've been held up here for less than five hours anyway, and it's not that yOU look tired,,, it's just that maybe you could use a little more sleep

lol you got yoongi thinking for a second that you're the injured on

"hey champ," yoongi acknowledges taehyung who's smiling from his bed, getting a forehead flick from his senior to which he rolls his eyes to

taehyung's... dressed up already in his normal clothes?

he already has his shoe on too so yoongi doesn't quite get why the two of you still aren't standing up

"you're lucky you just got a flick," you add helpfully, yawning in remembrance, "he punched my arm when i fell down the stairs at the dorm."

and wHY is this conversation all pointing to him now??

"because the both of you did stupid things that landed you in the ER!"

"i was just trying to see if i can go down the stairs three steps at a time!!"

"i just wanted to embrace y/n!!!"

very stoopid decisions if you ask him

yoongi shifts his weight from one foot to another, still a little lost because he's already here, and the two of you are all-ready to go, and he's not really a fan of the smell of the hospital —

oh wait

"has the bill already been settled?" he asks in curiosity, fishing out his wallet from his pocket

"mhmm. already did," tae answers instantly, nudging yoongi to put his wallet back where it came from

uhm wait maybe it's the eggs that are talking but uh

..... if the bill's already paid-

"then why are we all just sitting here?"

taehyung opens his mouth but he cLOSES it shut the moment it all clicks in his head, belatedly looking at you whose face screams conflict

yoongi's eyes turn to you on instinct, narrowing his eyes because you're choosing not to meet his eyes

"we're uh, we're waiting for jungkook to come back from the restroom."

...

.....

.......

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

yoongi's quiet, almost like he's calculating the variables in his mind

his mind's working harder rn that it did on his finals last week

"so jungkook is here?"

he gets war flashbacks every time he hears his name

he just shudders at the thought of him and he doesn't mean it positively lmao

"y-yeah! did i not tell you that at the call? he helped me get taehyung here," you scratch your nape in explanation, not accounting for the fact that yoongi still vERY much loathes jungkook when you called him

tae's not actually sure if he's helping you when he opens his mouth but he's trying his best <3

"yup! his shoulders were my crutch for like, three blocks. he also bought us food from the cafeteria while we were waiting to have my leg cast!!"

he glances at the fancy paper bags from the cafeteria downstairs, even some take-outs in there that makes it look all-stuffed

how in the living hELL is yoongi suppposed to feel about all of this :|

"i'm back! should i call an uber now? sorry, i bought these tiny hand sanitizers because they were having a sale at the pharmacy. y/n what scent do you-..."

jungkook happily chirps as he rummages through the bag he was given, preparing to scoop all the different scents to present them to you when he jUST had to look down at a familiar pair of shoes

as in the same black converse that he had the relief of looking at when someone was particularly asking him if he ever had a knuckle sandwich

"h-hi yoongi."

yoongi narrows his eyes at the kid who just squeaked, mouth puffed-up in disbelief that he looks like he's hiding a hamster in there

"bye jungkook."

yoongi uses tae as an excuse to shoo jungkook off as fast as possible but that kinda bites him in the ass

taehyung's going through a learning curve with his crutches and yoongi's making him wALK faster!!!! he still needs a little-

oh wait a minute :-)

"jungkook! help me walk to yoongi's car."

no

there is nO way that even taehyung's conspiring against him now

first jin and now taehyung????

tae solidifies his point by winking at yoongi, leaving you alone with him as you carry the paper bags of cafeteria take-outs

he's not exactly sure if he's helping you out at this situation, but once again, he's just trying his best and having fun alright!!! he likes to be included in these types of things hee-hee

yoongi has no choice now but to aLSO drive jungkook home, and the thought just makes him grumble from thinking about it

he'll have to disinfect his seats ://

"i haven't fully forgiven him if that's what you're thinking about," you chime in with his thoughts, looping your arm around his to help quell the visible stress in his mind

"it's your life," he puffs out because he doesn't want to meddle with you, consciously trying not to be overbearing when it comes to your choices

"i know. i just want you to know that your closest friend has the pride and the brains to not forgive an asshole, a goddamn junior, who said really mean things to her," you add thoughtfully and transparently, making yoongi break into a smile

ok that's got the heaviness in his chest a little lighter

"we should probably talk to each other one of these days."

you haven't had a heart-to-heart talk with yoongi for quite some time now because there weren't really any pressing issues of the sort to make the two of you talk face-to-face, but now it's probably needed

"we should."

:D

jungkook has never feared for his life in a car ride tHIS much before

and he's even wearing his seatbelt!!!!

you're sitting at the front seat and he's with taehyung at the back, the latter dozing off because yoongi indulged his request for sleep music with soft rain on the background (it doesn't make yoongi sleepy) in an attempt to make him feel better about his leg

the one-hour loop's working wonders because you're passed out on the front seat too

normally, this would also make jungkook sleepy

but how the fuck can he sLEEP when yoongi looks at him through the rear-view mirror like an apex predator??????

kook could take the easier route of pretending to sleep so he could get to avoid yoongi's gaze

but then if he pretends to sleep, yoongi would clearly see how his eyeballs are still very much trembling even when his eyes are shut and he's the furthest thing from being relaxed

don't get him started on stoplights too!!! that was just pure torture because jungkook was conflicted to whether or not he should look at him rIGHT back

taehyung and jungkook live in the same building anyway so that's more convenient because he actually wouldn't know how to act if he had to drop j-name (he honestly can't digest saying his name) separately

now that that's all over, jungkook feels oddly fulfilled in a way...?

fulfilled in a sense that even if partially, he managed to earn your forgiveness

he feels like he could sleep a little more peacefully knowing that he atleast did something right this time!!!

which is for the exact reason, he's gonna gUSH about this to mr. kim from student affairs!!!

it's uh the weekend and he walked to campus because he thinks that admin works even on weekends (mad respect)

it's noticeably a lot more empty compared to weekdays and it's just filled with freshmen with their hectic class schedules and some students who are just fulfilling units to graduate early

jungkook walks straight to student affairs and it instantly looks empty, the only familiar face in there being namjoon

as in mr. kim namjoon who's wearing a windbreaker rn and whose hair is dEFINITELY blonde than the last time (two days ago) that jungkook saw him

he's not here to work isn't he

wait is he here to rob the place ???!?#?!?

"and what are you doing here?"

namjoon is as confused as jungkook, his mouth opening and closing in dumbfoundedness

"o-oh! is mr. kim here? w-wait, you are here. i mean mr. kim seokjin, sorry. did he-"

"nope," namjoon shakes his head, putting his bucket hat back on to leave jungkook all by himself

namjoon from work and namjoon every other time besides work are TWO different entities

"we just came here to collect our paychecks. you missed jin by ten minutes."

oh well

his momentum's not entirely ruined!! jungkook just has to cram thinking of a recipe to put in your lunchbox by tomorrow and jin is his tried and tested saving grace

technically, jungkook already saw you this morning because of the whole taehyung in a cast thing, but he feels as if that the take-outs from the cafeteria aren't gonna cut it

he still needs to step up his game of course :D

so that's why jungkook forcibly enlisted jimin's help to make fish and chips for dinner and put them in two lunchboxes

one for you and one for yoongi!! he didn't skimp on the fish nor the chips and made sure they're still toasty and in peak-flavor when he delivers it to your dorm

is he intruding? is this a bad time? he didn't exactly know how to process when yoongi told him that he wouldn't stop him from making it up to you

he just iSN'T sure if delivering homemade lunchboxes at 7 in the evening to your dorm is optimal

oh good!! the door's opening :D

"good evening!! i uhm-"

... what

.......... WHAT

what the fuck is going on

seokjin is suprised to see that the guy at the door isn't from the delivery place he ordered from two minutes ago

... he may be disappointed

but what he is amused about is the way jungkook looks beyond confused and intimidated

jin's in a sleep shirt and some boxers and jungkook doesn't kNOW what to feel about all the variables present that he's trying to connect

"you look like you're hiding a goldfish in your mouth."

seokjin remarks and yawns when a fraction of a minute passes and jungkook's still frozen in his spot, his eyes darting to what the kid's holding

"oh c'mon! one for y/n and one for yoongi? you trying to make it up to him too? and none for me?" jin jives him further, leaning against the doorframe with a sleepy smirk on his lips, "i practically live here, and i gave you the tonkatsu recipe, and i'm the one who doesn't get a lunchbox?"

he eventually saw this coming lmao

jin knew that someway somehow, jungkook would come to know that hE's your close friend throughout the whole time

that he's been the sort of middleman all this time but nah he's on your team of course <3

that all this whining he's done to him has all been in the name of you and seokjin had to sit through ALLLL of that with his fists clenched underneath the table to calm himself down

"oh my god," jungkook's literally WEAK in the knees as it all connects in his mind, the gravity of this scenario kicking down on him

he really iS such a fucking asshole

how did he not hypothesize this????? how wasn't he able to connect you and yoongi and jin as each other's closest friends???

his legs are literally about to give out so that's why seokjin snatches the lunchboxes from his hands

"i am so, so, so sorry mr. kim. i-i really didn't-..."

jin pays him no mind, opening the lunchboxes slightly as he whistles at the sight of fish and chips

meanwhile jungkook is so sO close to crying both in realization and very very slight relief because he knows atleast one of your friends doesn't hate him that much

the door opens wider, the creaking getting both of his and jin's attention

"what's taking you so long? is the-..."

yoongi switches his gaze between the two lunchboxes on jin's hand and jungkook sitting on the floor looking like he's had the shock of his lifetime

wow this is really amusing

this is in fact so amusing that yoongi can't help but to snap a picture for him and jin to laugh at later

"bye, jeon."

yoongi grabs one of the lunchboxes from jin's hand and goes back into the dorm, leaving jungkook alone with mr. student affairs

seokjin chuckles as he outstretches his hand to make jungkook stand up and shoo him off sooner than later so he wouldn't look like a pebble in front of your dorm

he pats him on the back, only having to pull him slightly to get him closer to his ear

"we're still mad at you kid, don't get it twisted. you're lucky i didn't expel you."

jungkook pales at the realization overall, only weakly nodding his head as he attempts to take in everything while trying to look at the bright side

seokjin cheerily closes the door, waving at him who looks so close to passing out from hock

"bye jungkook!!!"

[just-a-demi-bean]

ramble under the cut :)

so i forgot to tell cute guy/twitch streamer that i got surgery on saturday (oops) and for the past few days ive been feeling a bit of pain and altogether been pretty mopey :/ (im feeling loads better now tho!!!!) so ive been texting friends asking them for photos of their pets for a bit of a pick-me-up, and theyve dealt with me spectacularly even when i was loopy off pain meds

but i didn’t tell cute guy because i. forgot. so i didnt ask him for photos of his cat because i felt weird about it so instead i was complaining to a mutual friend about how cute his cats were and how i wanted photos of his cat but didnt want to ask for them (i was kinda delirious at this point lol) so they. texted him. asking for photos of his cat.

he was kinda confused abt it so he texted me like “someone just asked me for photos of my cat” and i was like “fuck. that might be my fault” so i explained everything and he was like “oh shit why didnt u tell me???” and then spammed me with cat photos

and then the next day he asked me if i was a baseball fan (am i a BASEBALL FAN?????) and i was like “yes i am a baseball fan and im totally normal about it too” and then we chatted about the yankees

he asked me to another date on monday wanting to take me to a game but i CANT cause im still on crutches so i had to apologize a million times and say that im so sorry but i cannot walk rn and im still so upset about this but its ok ;-; he sent me a good night and told me we’d talk tomorrow :))

he sends me all sorts of pretty photos from his trips too :) i’m very happy :)

[jmblyajones]

Eagles: The Plan (4x7)

1. Sorry not sorry. Im ready for them to tear Jack’s ass UP!

Klara… I guess since Jack didn’t frame you for domestic abuse it’s easy to say “move on”. Your friiiend still gets bullied over this man’s lies. Girl, what are you saying rn?

2. Ngl if I was Ludde I would be epically pissed too! We’re supposed to be close and I have to learn that you’re confiding in my ex after I’ve been begging for weeks for you to tell me what’s going on.

Sam is looking at Andreas like wtf… he is one patient man.

3. Sweat you rim of the devil’s asshole!

4. It’s not even fair. It’s like I wanna be pissed at Andreas but he could literally drop dead at any moment. This whole situation… We gonna throw Ludde a bone? This literally to sad to watch 🥴

5. Andreas I’m sorry but nobody is trying to get your ass sent to jail when you got one foot already past the pearly white gates.

Jack coming back… this sounds like a disaster. Y’all gonna confront this fool after the game bro… on school property

Sam get your man, he’s becoming delirious.

Elias taking public lashings, yes!!

Y’all this deliberation is too funny. Oh no, we’re laying out personal drama now. YIKES.

I can definitely see all of them ambushing him in the end.

6. Amie and Elias… y’all are not fixing this quick enough for me.

Elias is really trying to flip it so that Amie is the ‘Mats’ in their situation. I’m sick.

Baby girl, I love you but we are gonna need to aim higher than USA. We are utter gutter over here…

Not Elias saying hockey isn’t the only thing he loves… He walked a good 4-5 steps towards her to say that then just walks away. Just wretched!

7. You know if Ludde got revenge on the dudes who busted his leg, I wouldn’t mind seeing that. But this season isn’t about revenge it’s about ✨growth✨

8. Not the mama telling Klara’s assistant to leave 😭

9. WOW bro. WOW. Naima in the hospital!Everyone is at their lowest. Felicia was so happy the phone answered too 😭

10. I really feel like something is gonna go wrong. Fucking A… of course Andreas is coughing up a lung.

11. An Amie and Ludde scene… when is the last time i’ve seen that??🥺

12. I already know who’s knocking on this girl’s door…

HOLD AWN!! How does he know where tf she lives???

13. Wait wait wait wait wait. No no no no no. HE DID NOT JUST PASS OUT!

I thought taking a bite out of that burger was supposed to symbolize him getting better? I’m sick.

14. Jack really just bussed in Felicia’s house wtf. Where are the crutches when you need them? I would light his ass up so quick.

It’s cause and effect. Jack should have just sat there and ate his food. He’s ruining lives and thinking these folks won’t come to collect.

Jack drove Andreas to the hospital… hmm. He still ain’t shit though.

NOT THE GUN! This motherfucker is out of this WORLD! FELICIA WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING IT????

I can’t..

15. Amie found Elias! She’s trying to wake her baby up ohmygash. Wow they are really trying to stick me in my feelings.

16. Crying on my damn couch ain’t gonna bring you sympathy or salvation.

Felicia wtf are you talking about??? This is the spawn from hell!

You know, maybe I’d lie too for him to get the hell outta my house.

17. Elias and Amie’s longing ass stare in the background. Can we just make up and make out like what are we doing…?

18. Ok something about people still thinking Ludde is a domestic abuser doesn’t sit right with me… Also, I was kinda hoping Jack wouldn’t go willingly in to the good night. I wanted him to put up a fight all the way. That would have made him going to jail a little sweeter

[etlivnheart]

( cody fern, demi male, he/him, fire emblem: three houses ) * &. i know it must be scary for you, dimitri alexandre blaiddyd, after not surviving the takeover. to turn into someone like dimitri a. baker, a twenty-four year-old housekeeper at cozy corner inn & cafe, right here in castle town. just remember that you are as chivalrous as you are misguided, and to be wary, be safe, be true to who you are : heroic through and through. ( back on my bullshit ) 

           alright folks I hope y’all are ready to STRAP YOURSELVES IN bc hoooooooly hell do I have a lot to say abt this kid. he was the muse I originally planned to bring in alongside Zelda when CT first opened for apps bt then I,,, had seconds thots and picked up A Thot sooo. back to square one and I can tELL ALREADY I’ve made a good decision. More under the cut pls but beware of FE3H Blue Lions spoilers !!

⁠— BEFORE CASTLE TOWN

Alright so I’m gonna say this now : Dimitri’s general backstory is no walk in the park , and for some , it may be triggering. I’m going to warn you that this bit will contain some content relating to mental illness ( not named specifically in-game but most prominently ptsd & depression ) , violence/war , and ( parental ) death.

So Dimitri is the crown prince of the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus - a wintry kingdom in Northern Fodlan. When you meet him , he’s a student at Garreg Mach Monastery’s Officers Academy & the head of his homeland’s respective house , the Blue Lions.

And at first glance - Dimitri is a fucking sweetheart and he’s diligent , kind , maybe a little cautious especially around fragile objects and there’s always some... allusions that there’s way more to him than this Disney Prince air he seems to carry.

Yeah... there is.

So Dimitri. His parents ( father & stepmother ) died in an incident known as the Tragedy of Duscur where Faerghus’ king and queen were killed , many people died ( including the elder brother of Dimitri’s childhood friend , Felix ) , and the people of Duscur were blamed for it. Ever since , Dimitri’s trauma & survivor’s guilt has only been left to fester and settle to the point where he believes he won’t be able to be at peace until he fulfills revenge for those who passed - to the point where he claims he can also see the ghosts of the dead , ushering him to avenge them.

This tends to manifest in a side of Dimitri that makes him a fierce warrior on the battlefield. But this doesn’t really show full force until the timeskip rolls around , Byleth disappears , and Dimitri’s lost his final crutch and it’s pretty much at this point where his life takes a major turn for the worse - yeah this kid can’t catch a break.

He becomes more and more obsessed with the idea of revenge now that there’s a clear enemy in sight and he constantly is scared of failing his lost loved ones if he can’t succeed in taking her down. He’s been on his own with no-one to hang onto since he thinks his best buddy - who he saved from Duscur - is dead and so many people think he’s dead and once he’s found he’s not the same as in the beginning. He’s now tenfold sucked into that one objective until someone else he loves is lost and normally you think that would only make it worse. But it doesn’t. Since now Byleth’s there.

Byleth’s assistance and compassion teaches him that he can also live for the living and himself rather than focus on only those he lost - and that is what they’d want for him, too. So throughout the rest of the game he reverts back to how he was similarly in the beginning of the game - less aggressive & impulsive and more careful & considerate ( and back to being your typical sweetie ) and he realizes his actions during that period were wrong and he’s willing to atone rather than wallow in his own negativity - and it’s through help him others that he begins to walk a better path and gets his own happy ending in the story ; he learns to forgive and to give chances, even though sometimes those chances are tossed back in his face.

DIMITRI, AS A CHARACTER,,, REALLY MEANS THE WORLD TO ME ( as sb who has ptsd & depression myself ) and his development in my opinion ( since now I’m closing in on all four routes ) is probably the most drastic & in depth of the three lords. 

He does have some issues that he recognizes & comes to terms with seeking help with once he realizes that he’s deserving of it - since Dimitri’s whole thing is that he doesn’t think he’s deserving of anyone’s kindness or love or help or compassion thanks to his own grief & guilt. 

He will give you the shirt off his back and he’s definitely not someone who enjoys being seen on a higher level than others and he’s so human in the sense that he’s one of the only people in Faerghus who refuses to believe Duscur was orchestrated by the Duscurian people. He saves Dedue - who devotes his entire life to him - but only wishes for Dedue to see him as a friend. He just wants a friend.

Some facts !

I forget what the exact word for it is but Dimitri can’t taste anything except... cheese?? Is that it?? Is that where the cheese thing come from?? Yeah basically he can’t taste anything.

He possesses the Crest of Blaiddyd which enhances his strength to superhuman levels to the point where, when he was only eight years old, he snapped a sword clean in half on accident.

Again I will say he’s a major sweetie & I highly recommend at least reading through some of his supports since my god all of them are... so good. I fucking love Dimitri.

Also he’s bi because I fucking said so and it’s a CRIME you can’t s-rank him as both masculine & feminine Byleth.

⁠— BEFORE CASTLE TOWN

SOOOOO Mitya here is a housekeeper at Cozy Corner Inn. He didn’t survive the takeover - but his memories are returning at a quicker pace than that of my other character who didn’t survive, Zelda, as Dimitri’s already beginning to see glimpses of his past throughout dreams

...well, mainly nightmares unfortunately : ( but you get the drill

He has a lot of really awful nightmares but once in a while he dreams of this dark-haired person with a smile that no-one else has and it puts him... at ease whenever he wakes up

I also imagine he routinely volunteers at local shelters or centres or the like just because it’s very In-Character for him to do so

I DON’T HAVE,,, A LOT OF WHAT HIS LIFE IS LIKE IN CT AS OF RN but even tho his eye is never explained in-game he thinks in CT the scar he got over it was from a cat ahsushauhshs

love tht

ANYWAY YEAH IM GONNA WORK ON SAM’S INTRO SOOOOOOOOON but we’ll see if exhaustion doesn’t hit me first

pls gimme byleth i’ll cry

[green-has-moved-to-another-blog]

i just came back from bmc

- jeremy's computer has a steven universe sticker

- jEREMY CANONLY WATCHES SU

- wHAT A WEEB I LOVE HIM

- jeremy actually put lotion on his hand when he says "im waitin for my porno to load"

- mICHAEL HAS A PRIDE PATCH

- hE ALSO SAYS "MY MOMS WOULD BE SO PROUD" CKDNCJDMJGVHCDN WHAT AN ICON

- Chloe's little "haha i like gay ppl" in more than survive mcndncbsjgjcbch

- jEREMY LOOKS SO SAD NEAR THE END OF MORE THAN SURVIVE JCNDNCNDJCJDG BBY LEMME GIVE YOU A HUG

- cHRISTINE IS ME IM KIN VCJDCHDHTGJ WE BOTH LOVE THEATRE, WE BOTH HAVE AD(H)D, AND SHE EVEN HAS MY PERSONALITY!!!

- PLUS HER NAME IS ONE LETTER AWAY FROM MY NAME IRL!!!

- not actually part of the musical but rich was spitting everywhere in the squip song jvjdjcjsjvorhcjdg ur doing amazing sweetie

- apparently the squip song jumps dIRECTLY INTO two player game???

- the way michael and jeremy say "is it really true,,,,, im your faaaaavorite person???" "yEAH!! :DDD we're neeever not gonna be a team" is so cute cjcncjdjvucbf idek why?? it just is and it can't really be explained through text im sorry!!!

- "what does it even taste like???" "G H O S T S"

- i ALMOST SCREAMED WHEN SQUIP APPEARED CBNSHXSKJVBCD MY FRIEND AND I HAD TO HOLD ONTO EACH OTHER FOR SUPPORT

- hE'S SO HOT I NUTTED ON THE SPOT

- also squip's outfits are all white vhjfjcsjlcdng that man is really out here lookin like rk900

- tbh i like jeremy's eminem shirt in this version better than in the og

- jEREMY DOES THE BEST FUCKIN POSE WHEN SQUIP TELLS HIM "no, stop" IN BE MORE CHILL PART 1 VHDHHCJSJCJG WHAT A MODEL

- squip looks so disappointed when jeremy tells brooke he has to meet up with michael

- ngl brooke is kinda,,,,, hOT when she dances in do you wanna ride cjcghcslchrhcb my bi ass was sweating the whole time

- i expected the beginning of be more chill part 2 to be more angsty but jeremy just sounded so confused ckjcjrghckeixehb me too jeremy

- "ohhhhhhh everything abt you is so terrible" "everything abt me is so terrible???"

- jeremy tucking himself into bed with his school clothes still on is a mood

- "jeremy are you talking to yourself???" "i,,,,,,, guess i am"

- squip kills eminem what the fukc

- SQUIP'S FACE WHEN CHRISTINE SAYS SHE'S INTO JAKE GJHOSBCKEBCGNCJ

- "wE GOTTA!!! GET STONED IN MY BASEMENT!!! :DDD!!!"

- i love my son michael sm

- LOSER GEEK WHATEVER IS THE NEW SONG THEY ADDED!!! IT COMES AFTER UPGRADE AND IT'S SO GOOD CJDBCSJCNSJCG IT GIVES YOU MORE INSIGHT AS TO WHY JEREMY WANTS TO BE POPULAR AND GJCHSCJRJCHSJF I NEED THIS SONG ON THE OFFICIAL SOUNDTRACK RN

- sO MUCH SHIT HAPPENS IN HALLOWEEN

- i want jeremy's halloween costume

- jAKE DRESSES UP AS THOMAS JEFFERSON FROM HAMILTON GJCJDKXBSJCGNX

- I FELT PHYSICAL PAIN WHEN CHRISTINE WHEN UP TO JAKE BUT HE BRUSHES HER OFF AND DOESNT EVEN RECOGNIZE HER COSTUME FJCJDJVJDJCSLNG MY DAUGHTER DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER

- rICH FUCKING FLEXING ON THE DANCE FLOOR

- rICH HIGH FIVED EVERYONE IN THE FRONT ROW SEAT CJDBCJEJVTHCGM MY FRIEND AND I WERE IN THE SECOND TO FRONT ROW AND IM SO JEALOUS BC GOD WE WISH THAT WAS US VJFJCJFJGKVJD

- jAKE DABS

- jeremy and christine making sounds at each other on the couch is a big mood and also thats something i have done irl

- JEREMY AND MICHAEL ARGUING IN THE BATHROOM BREAKS MY HEART

- MICHAEL IN THE BATHROOM SHATTERS MY SOUL GHWHDJEHCJENFJ BBY LEMME HUG YOU

- rich having actual s l o b b e r coming out of his mouth while screaming abt mountain dew red

- iN THE SMARTPHONE HOUR LITERALLY EVERYONE IN THE CAST DRESSED AS FEMALES CMGJCJFJCJRJGH HOLY SHIT IM DECEASED

- "i know abt everyone but no one knows abt me,,,," "cool drink this!!"

- jeremy yelling at his dad makes me go :(((

- jEREMY'S DAD FINDING MICHAEL DOING DRUGS AND TELLING HIM TO STOP BURNING INSENCSE JCJDJFJEJVJTCJH

- "MICHAEL MAKES AN ENTRANCE!!!" I LOST IT CJDNJCDJHCHDFJ I LOVE MY SON SM

- jeremy's fight with michael (while he tries to get the mountain dew red) looks so fake cncjdhcjdbgbcfg thanks i love it

- "oh my god im totally bi" RICH YOU BICON I FUKCING LOVE YOU BBY

- rICH ASKS JEREMY IF MICHAEL IS SINGLE JFJCJJDJVJDBCHD RICH X MICHAEL IS CANON

- squip dying is just,,,,,, top 10 saddest amine deaths

- vOICES IN MY HEAD IS GOOD SHIT I LOVE MY CHILDREN (and squip,,,, my husband) SM!!!

- iN CONCLUSION IM GONNA DIE AND BMC KILLED ME BCBSHCJFJVHXHGHG

bonus:

- my friend and i got to sit in the second to first row so we had the Full Experience™

- that included watching everyone on stage sweat and spit everywhere jgjchsclwhcrbcgh

- iN LOSER GEEK WHATEVER, WILL R (jeremy's actor) LOOKED DIRECTLY AT ME AS I STRAIGHT UP CLUTCHED MY HEART AND WENT INTO CARDIAC ARREST VJFBCJDJHCKDBG

- jeremy doesnt say kinky vjdbcjdgkchf this is so sad squip play michael in the bathroom

- ok this wasnt a script change or anything bUT SQUIP TRIPS ON JAKE'S CRUTCHES AND FALLS ON HIS ASS BHCGBHGFHGFXDSDF I LOVE HIM

- my playbill was signed by everyone except christine and rich aND IM RIOTING

- jk pranked vjxghcgdhfgit it isnt their fault or anything!!! i just couldnt get to them in time

[a-trauma-journey]

my name is uidelsib e.n., deadname fucking none of your business i was born on december 2nd 1998, and im considering deleting myself. in the day i busy myself with games, compulsive shopping, walking aimlessly kilometers, eating when im not sure i feel hunger, used to talk with ppl a lot till i realized i was their crutch and not their friend and they never ask (which im ok with but...not rn. im voidy of anything to help) and sometimes, drawing

nd daydreaming

a lot

but it doesnt work anymore

im runnign out of fuel

and at night, when im not busy so i can sleep, i can see im all broken at the seams, fake? no not pretending

just

vulnerable

im dying

there's gonna be a moment i stop

and im not one to cut

i won't

i'll throw myself off a cliff, or maybe a building

and nobody's gonna catch me

because nobody knows

becuse nobody cares

[sebastianejw-blog]

Life is strange 2 ep 4

Listen to me I really think life is strange 2 is good when ur in a romance with Finn. Jack's playthough is really annoying & he finds it boring most of the good shit if your open & go for the Finn roote honestly I like Finn a lot myself he's a good looking character his tats & dreads are really cool & he has a pretty good way of seeing life even though he's been through shit also knowing Jacob is gay you gotta totally know that hanging out with Finn&penny was a big help, someone said about finn being up a ladder & Jacob wasn't, was some symoblisim & I do think it was & maybe finn helped Jake understand that his church was full of shit. I do really like Jacobs character development he has such a sweet & sad story & I just wanted to hug him but he said about how he was used to staying away from people so I was a bit like okay fair enough he still might not be completely comfortable with hugging guys but then in the good ending Sean & Jake hug & it is a really cute moment.

I really think Finn had something going 9n with his legs cause Finn loves Sean if you love someone & their at your hospital window you'd go up to them or open the window but he didn't move so unless the game just fucked up I see no reason he wouldn't get up also we should've had the choice to take him with us yanno the vid from the lumineers it's the girl & guy & they go on driving trips & eventually get married rn I can't remember the name but I would love it if Finn would've come with us, I really wanna see some fan fiction but honestly 8 might try looking through the music vid & trying to explain it for Finn & Sean In the game the car is taken or something & Sean has to hitch hike & there is a part like that in the song vid & in the song vid it's some stoner peeps & honestly I like that a lot more than just a old trucker especially with Finn with us it would be fucking great to smoke weed in the back of a camper while chatting to these strangers who become your friends, falling asleep in each others arms, just cute stuff. The story of that would be so cute & intresting especially if Finns legs are fucked I'm guessing he might have his legs still but if not then he'd potentially have prostectics or if he does have his legs he might've had to use crutches to walk or if he only had one leg he'd still need crutches or a prostectic it sucks we didn't get more info on what was up with Finn because now I'm just like okay but their needed to be a reason that we weren't given the option to take him with us, & to me that meant he's injured bad & in ep 3 I think he was shot, depending in the storyline & if not then his legs might've got fucked from Daniels powers or something like we have no idea.i really wanna see next ep I hope we get a reunion & maybe see Jacob with a boyfriend or that guy Bruce he talked about in the revrands shit I rwllay want a happy ending the guys need to get away as well tbh so coming to Mexico with Sean & Daniel would be really cool. I also think there might be some sort of story going on with Daniel & Sarah like we didn't need a shit of them hugging to be shown separate we could've had it happen in the background or whatever but that shit makes me think we'll have like an older daniel&sarah together or just really good friends 🤷

I kinda don't like how people have reacted to Jacob being gay in the ones that play the Finn route their like abandoning Finn asking if they can get with Jacob & idk Finn says I love you then like 2 hours later you want to get with his friend. People think both Cas & fin aren't good romance choices i personally don't like the cads route its boring & the voice for her just get in my nerves after a v while idk I like the brotherly relationship she has with fin & her being a friend to me makes more sence Sean is good at having friends both male & female. Idk I just like Finn a lot yes he did the heist idea kinda but hes just a daring dude who was willing to take his chances to help out his friends & he has my respect for that Jacob to me is a fresh baby he doesn't even really proberly say he's gay but it's heavily implied & I think he is still getting used to even letting himself be well...himself so to have an option to have a relationship with Jacob would just be a bad choice cause he still has stuff to figure out & we find the thing about this guy Bruce & we dk how long ago that was it sounds like it wasn't long before he left & ended up in Finn's group so I'd like to think he reconnects with that guy

[allofbeercom]

‘Are You The One?’ Recap: Murder On The AYTO Express

HELLO AND WELCOME to without a doubt the most lit episode in history with the most fucking braindead bunch of degenerate fuckpoles you’ve ever seen. Seriously, the casting this season is A-1. And by A-1, I mean that half of these castmates will probably end up in jail one day.

As someone who thrives on the drama of others appreciates good reality TV, this episode brought me more joy than I could have hoped, and I actually learned a thing or two in the process. For instance, did you know that behind the creatures that live on Geles’ eyelashes, there is actually a genuinely fucking insane monster-woman?

Also, in exciting news and by request, my betchy Jewish mom has decided to return the world of and I’ll be featuring some of her commentary. This show is such a great bonding experience for us because I can consistently say “see mom, I at least I’m not throwing bananas at people on National TV” and honestly, I think that’s all a parent really wants to hear from their kid <3

AFTER THE MATCH UP CEREMONY

They got 4 beams and party like crazy, because nothing is more exciting than being drastically behind in life.

Keith celebrates by lifting weights in overalls, and watching him do so is as close as I’ll ever get to the Midwest. He’s talking to Alexis about how the best way to handle not being a perfect match is to have a threesome with whomever their perfect match actually is. Alexis is like “seems like a legit solution” and this kids, is why our country is in shambles. 

They both eventually promise not to hook up with their perfect match. Psh, sure, Jan.

Kareem and Alivia are considering pulling their heads out of their asses and accepting the fact that they are almost certainly a no-match. Alivia is like “Keith is literally what I asked for in this game” and it’s like, soooooooo, wanna tell us what you’re doing with poor man’s mobster over there?

THE CHALLENGE

Keyana apparently got way too lit while celebrating and sprained her foot. Because it’s Keyana and the only athletic thing she’s ever done in her life is run in whatever direction Michael is in, she is in crutches with a full fucking cast. *cough, cough* pussy *cough*

It’s officially the best challenge of the year: The exes are hereeeeee! And hey, there is Taylor from last season? Hun, if you wanted another 15 minutes of fame, shoot for the stars and audition for . 

Apparently she’s Joe’s ex and color me shocked. I honestly never pegged Taylor as Joe’s type (and vice-versa) but I think it’s so cute that they can cut costs and share hair products. Lord knows everyone from season five needs to save as much money as possible.

The game is speed dating like and the castmates have to hang out with their ex while other castmates come and interview them. One time my boyfriend and I saw my ex at a bagel shop and I legit hid behind a trashcan, so honestly I’m cringing forever.

Here’s a couple things about the exes (sorry, you’re not safe from this either):

UCHE’S EX: My mom and I both agree that either she met him at Church or she helped him when he had fallen and couldn’t get up. Seriously, how old is this dude?

SHAD’S EX: If Shad was as good of a boyfriend as she said he was, he should have kindly pointed her to the nearest hair salon.

CLINTON’S EX: Poor girl got the fucking FBI shakedown from Uche, but I don’t trust anyone who calls fooling around “sexual encounters.” Who let the narc on this show?

DD’S EX: Is from her junior year of high school. Damn, the desperation levels are strong with this one.

MICHAEL’S EX: Looks like she probably has the personality of cardboard. So very obviously still into Michael, which makes me think she probably has the brain cells to match her shining personality.

MALCOLM’S EX: “Well… she’s not what I expected.” – Mom. That’s putting it kindly.

MY FACE LOOKING AT MALCOLM’S EX:

ANYWAYS, Geles and Taylor seem to be hitting it off in the way only two fame-hungry, moderately hot girls can: fucking screaming at each other over a dude with a man bun and chipmunk teeth. It’s not a good look for Taylor, but as the professional drama expert here at Betches (please see my LinkedIn for more), I’m putting my money down that Geles probably came in more crooked than her left eyelash atm.

As they continue to insult each other, I realize this might be the fight I never knew I needed? TBH watching people sink to their low really has got me thriving. Either way, putting on my expert hat again, editing is a fickle bitch and I’m going to explore the ever-loving fuck out of Twitter (or employ the detectives on the AYTO subreddit) to find out EXACTLY what happened.

Oh also, I forgot to mention that Shad apparently lasts for like, three seconds in bed. Just a heads up!

Overall, Keith and Alexis win the challenge. Say what you will about these redneck trash bags, but those fuckers know how to win. Take notes, Democratic Party. Anyways, Keith picks Alivia. Alexis, in a form of petty that is honestly inspiring, picks Kareem.

MOM: Alexis and Kareem need to reroute their date to the nearest asylum. 

BACK AT THE HOUSE

Anthony decides DD might be his match and wants to get to know her better. Cute, stupid Anthony. Anyways, he sets up a drinking/20 questions game on the balcony of the boom boom room.

Malcolm, the perpetual cheater, gets super mad that they even looked in the direction of the boom boom room and is like “WE ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENS IN THE BOOM BOOM ROOM!” Of course, in a move that MTV def made happen was exceptionally dramatic, he runs and tells Geles too.

Geles is like “DD is easy and I want to throw her down a flight of stairs.” Well that’s not cause for alarm. Maybe Kareem and Geles should give love a shot. Also, that’s pretty tough talk coming from a girl who is like 85% silicone. DD would beat some ass, so I’m pretty excited about this possibility.

What’s even worse is that this game Anthony and DD are playing is totally innocent. He even asks her if he can kiss her and she says that “she has too much respect for Malcolm to do that.”

Meanwhile, in probable-domestic-violence land, Alivia tells Keith that Kareem is like pushing her away by being the most controlling and shitty human ever. Huh, what a weird concept.

She tells Keith that she’s afraid of Kareem and Keith’s like “I’m not afraid of Kareem.” Okay, so suddenly the whole fanbase (me, the subreddit and six teenage girls in Brazil) want to fuck Keith. This episode has so many twists.

Keith and Alivia start kissing and Alivia immediately does what she ALWAYS does and runs her ass to Kareem to tell him. She’s like “I’m sorry, I wanted to be honest.” Whoever told you honesty is the best policy was seriously disturbed. Of course, Kareem feels so betrayed, which is crazy because I didn’t know psychopaths could feel any emotion.

When DD leaves the date with Anthony, Malcolm immediately calls her a “dick rider.” Which would be okay if you were starring in a superhero porno, but otherwise it’s like, the most insulting shit I have ever heard. DD rightfully flips out because that’s just like, the rules of feminism.

MOM: Well, this explains his ex. — That’s like, way harsh Tai. REAL PIC OF MY MOM AND I:

THE DATE

They go to a palm reading and tarot cards reading date. Really MTV, y’all take Kareem’s and Alexis’ crazy asses into a witch shop? This is the lamest episode of ever.

Alexis is like “I’m super into witchcraft” and I’m honestly afraid for Keith rn. She’s got little white bread voodoo dolls in her eyes.

Alivia and Keith have a pretty real chemistry so they start making out again, obviously. Nothing gets Keith’s dick harder than the fact it’s probably going to be chopped off by Alexis within the next few hours.

Kareem and Alexis, meanwhile, are bonding over their shared mental instability. Kareem decides to tell Alexis about Keith and Alivia’s kiss and they rile each other up faster than a Disney Channel movie basketball team hearing an inspiring speech in the locker room at halftime.

They are like “just because we fucked up and did the same thing doesn’t mean that anyone else can!” Republicans have the weirdest logic.

Alexis and Kareem do the mature thing and confront Keith and Alivia on their date. Alexis yells at Keith for not telling her and how they agreed not to hook up with their matches. Keith is stuck in the age-old predicament where he tries to decipher what “hooking up” means.

Alexis thinks it’s a kiss and Keith thinks it’s anal. Tale as old as time.

If you think Alexis is crazy, Kareem is like, hold my beer. He’s hitting shit and yelling at Alivia while Keith stares on, wondering how this dude escaped his padded cell. Of course, Kareem has to fucking throw a table at Alivia and now MTV brings in producers, because maybe, just they have a problem here.

BACK AT THE HOUSE

The only thing I have seen Geles do in this house is shit talk, apply makeup and pine over a very average-looking dude named Anthony. Geles is basically every sorority sister I have ever had.

Geles and Malcolm team up to belittle DD for doing nothing wrong, and DD is not having it. She and Audrey start yelling back at Malcolm/Geles and it’s a mess.

TYLER: I hate this place, but it’s great.


ME AND MY MOM: #tru

TRUTH BOOTH

DD and Anthony explain exactly what happened and Malcolm is like “everyone knows what happens in the boom boom room.” Everyone knows there is money in the banana stand.

Terrence J is like, “you know the boom boom room is like, the only room with a door, right? Maybe they just wanted to get away for a second.” Malcolm acts like someone just explained quantum physics to him.

This show should just be called “twentysomethings considering basic concepts.”

Nurys and DD, bonded over the fact that Malcolm ain’t shit, make up and become friends. There is no stronger friendship than one bonded through mutual hate. That’s like, the only friends I have.

Keith word vomits that he and Alivia kissed again and of course Alexis and Kareem flip the fuck out.

Alexis tells Keith “to go die” and is two seconds away from asking her murderer cousin for a repeat performance. Terrence J is like “damn that’s harsh”, which is a weird way of saying “YOU ARE A FUCKING CRAZY PERSON.”

Alivia calls out the hypocrisy of this whole thing and tells the house about Kareem throwing a table and everyone in the house is like “what, Kareem?! No way!”

Shad’s like “hey, if I was a girl I would not want him to be my perfect match.” As a girl I also want sex to last longer than two seconds, but sometimes dreams are meant for when we are sleeping.

Zoe is like “I thought Kareem was my match but he’s getting a little too domestic violence-y for me.” Oh, did you not tell the matchmakers you wanted that?

MY MOM: You know poor Alivia’s mother is somewhere praying on her rosary that Kareem is not her match.

Kareem stands up, starts yelling, and leaves the room. He swears that Keith and Alivia are not a match and now he hates Alivia and is going to start the smallest chapter of the He-Man-Woman-Haters Club in the boom boom room.

Of course, Keith and Alivia go to the Truth Booth. They like, want this to help them win the money, but more importantly they want this so they can tell Kareem to take his perfectly sculpted facial hair and fuck right off.

The episode is about to end, and if it ends on a cliffhanger I will throw my laptop across the room. Kareem is obviously affecting me.

Because there is no such thing as happiness on reality TV, they are a NO MATCH. Gotta say, this bummed me out.

Kareem and Alexis start laughing their asses off, while Alivia and Keith make their walk of shame towards two people who legit want to murder them.

MY MOM: Is this going to turn into a murder mystery show? I actually really like that angle. — Your move, MTV.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/are-you-the-one-recap-murder-on-the-ayto-express/

[sassygaykuja]

some very professional dbd onions and experiences after 27 hours of playing

-i would smooch claudette, its all i want, please

-also huntress. let me wife huntress. i lvoe her

-doctor is my fav. hes fucking disgusting. i love him.

-wow there is so much to learn like WOW theres a lot to this game

-a lot of high ranking survivors are cocky sons of bitches who t bag and about half of them feel bad when they realize im a baby :000

-somebody with 1000+ hours got mad at me for playing doc. called him a crutch. they got, like. 2 gens done. i killed them all. it was fucking fantastic.

-the game is much more fun when i get to play at my rank, which is VERY LOW

-quick time events arent that hard, but im still really bad at them

-fuck,,,,,,,, flashlights,,,,, my eyesight is not that great and going from the very dark look of the game to VERY bright is not good for my eyes, man. (tho i did start playing when they were bugged and since ive been able to avoid getting flashlighted more, buuuut its still not great)

-i want trapper to hold me in his strong arms

-wraith is my son and i would die for him

-my name on steam rn is ‘gay model’. people either think its hilarious or get very upset about it. i love it.

-the satisfaction of killing someone whos been looping my sorry ass around the entire fucking map is a goddamn unparalleled feeling. nothing is sweeter than that

-i could write an essay about how much i love this game as a piece of art tbh