#this feels like an american experience at least
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Same with imperialism. Everyday I see the gringos here scream about how trump is doing fascist shit (or nazi shit how gringos like to call it) and how that has "never happen before" but in fact is just your regular ass usa, they just don't know history nor care to learning it. Is typical usa stuff, and specially is typical usa international terrorist behaviour. USA has been worst that the nazis (which were inapired by USA culture, ideology, religion, and experiments, etc) and invaded most countries doing monstrous things (USA for example has invaded and make cops and put dictators in every single South American country, and no, wikipedia is wrong u little shit (surprise wikipedia lies with some touches of truth and more lies than truth when necessary of course, surprise to no one with real education and basic common sense), is not in some, has been in all multiple times. But explaining usa to usamericans makes them feel like u are being a conspiranoic communist, when in reality is just the truth, probably just the 10% at best of the whole modus operandi of usa bc no one can name the infinity crimes that usa has doe since its foundation.
Like ppl would call u liar if you tell them how usa trained cops and military in South America to stop any attempt to have democracy and socialism (and how CIA made the past opium usa crisis to have enough money to make operation Condor as part of the GLADIO operations here, same shit they are doing now again btw), making and keeping dictatorships for decades and never allow them to really end, not even when there is a "return to democracy". Part of that training is not just how to welcome the actual nazis and fascists, make genocides, create concentration camps and transform any building or space into a torture center, teach to who buy weapons (israeli and german weapons of course among many other helps of Europe), make companies to replace state functions, corrupt institutions, dismantle ministries and any government aspect, change and made new constitutions, make propaganda, false information, red scare, and other types of psychological warfare via owning the schools and create new educational systems, doing crimes and blaming some groups and well using old footage in the news to fabricate news in the necessary context, install neo nazi groups as well cults and cult schools against democracy (like neo pagan and new age groups, the jehova whitnesses, mormons, moonis, and other evangelical cults with the explicit propose of destroy cultures, political activism, and class consciousness, and fight against the only christians that have done something which are the one that do praxis under theology of liberation), introducs cocaine and that type of drugs, made it, create drug addiction in the marginal communities and poor areas and said it was "Russian cocaine", and create pedo rings and christian schools and chrurch communities as well the state organisms to have children and teens for that propose as well for drug and organ trafficking, and of course selling babies to the upper class ppl outside of the country that usa is attacking. USA even made deals and info trading with a arm dealer that also sold to Saddam Hussein and usa tried to arrest them only when the guy did something usa disnt want to which was maybe eventualy sold weapons to Cuba that would help them to stop USA.
There are stuff like that, but also more simple and immediate stuff, for example burn nuldings and books, destruction of art and control of what forms of culture enter the country, throw people into the sea or disert to make them dissapear, make amputations, more recently take eyeballs, raping people with dogs among other forms of sexual tortures like forcing parents to rape their children. Women were the primary targets of these gruesome acts of sexual abuse. At least in my country (and i guess that every country attacked by USA and under its training) almost every single female prisoner fell victim to repeated rape. Military personnel not only raped women but also employed foreign objects and even animals to inflict additional pain and suffering. Women, and occasionally men, reported incidents where spiders and live rats were implanted, put inside to be more clear, their genitals.
Yeah, classic usa.
Some pics bc I know usamericans and ppl in general are to trapped in their bubbles:
“Parrilla” or metal cot where detainees were tied up and tortured with electricity. Tongs were placed on various parts of the body, including the genitals, in the case of women it was put inside the vagina. Current was also put in mouth and ears.
Corpse in the streets in broad daylight of political enemy (which could be anyone, including old ppl and kids).
At that moment I didn't know where I was. They took us in refrigerator trucks, tied, bandaged, with hoods. They made us lower steps and, they left me in a cell. The interrogations started very early ... they hit me and applied all the forms of torment: blows, electric current, wax burns, cigarettes; In one arm I still have the brands. I told them that I was pregnant, but they really didn't care, on the contrary. They hit me with a whip in the low belly, to lose my baby. On the third or fourth day, they began to rape me ... several times they raped me and applied current on the electric grill ...
- Testimony of a political prisoner of the concentration camp "Tejas Verdes".
Some pics of other USA crimes:
Argentinian dictator Videla with Jimmy Carter who was as anti communist and anti democracy as any other USA dictator (to whom u usually call presidents)
M41 tank and two jeeps of the Brazilian Army in the Ministries Esplanade, near the National Congress Palace (background) in Brasília, 1964. The 1964 Brazilian coup d'état (Portuguese: Golpe de estado no Brasil em 1964) was the overthrow of Brazilian president João Goulart by a military coup made for the necessities of USA and capitalism from March 31 to April 1, 1964. US foreign aid to Brazil reached new heights. From 1964 to 1970, Brazil received more money than any other country in South America from institutions such as USAID and the World Bank. American businesses also increased their investments in Brazil.
A map of "Greater America" c. 1900.
Stuart Creighton Miller says that the public's sense of innocence about Realpolitik impairs popular recognition of U.S. imperial conduct. The ""resistance"" to actively occupying foreign territory (which they do anyways when necessary, like Palestine and Africa, for example) has led to policies of exerting influence via other means, including governing other countries via surrogates or puppet regimes, where domestically unpopular governments survive only through U.S. support.
The Philippines is sometimes cited as an example. After Philippine independence, the US continued to direct the country through Central Intelligence Agency operatives like Edward Lansdale. As Raymond Bonner and other historians note, Lansdale controlled the career of President Ramon Magsaysay, going so far as to physically beat him when the Philippine leader attempted to reject a speech the CIA had written for him. American agents also drugged sitting President Elpidio Quirino and prepared to assassinate Senator Claro Recto. Prominent Filipino historian Roland G. Simbulan has called the CIA "US imperialism's clandestine apparatus in the Philippines". The U.S. retained dozens of military bases, including a few major ones. In addition, Philippine independence was qualified by legislation passed by the U.S. Congress. For example, the Bell Trade Act provided a mechanism whereby U.S. import quotas might be established on Philippine articles which "are coming, or are likely to come, into substantial competition with like articles the product of the United States". It further required U.S. citizens and corporations be granted equal access to Philippine minerals, forests, and other natural resources.
USAmerican troops marching in Vladivostok during the "Allied intervention" in the Russian Revolution, August 1918. When World War I broke out in Europe, USA head of regime Woodrow Wilson entered the war in order to "open international markets to surplus US production". He quotes Wilson's own declaration that
Concessions obtained by financiers must be safeguarded by ministers of state, even if the sovereignty of unwilling nations be outraged in the process... the doors of the nations which are closed must be battered down.
In a memo to Secretary of State Bryan, the president described his aim as "an open door to the world". Lloyd Gardner notes that Wilson's original avoidance of world war was not motivated by anti-imperialism; his fear was that "white civilization and its domination in the world" were threatened by Europe, the other "great white nations" by fighting between whites and allowing that the oppressed countries and cultures gained power.
1st pic is the Excavation of the corpses of victims in Comalapa, Chimaltenango.
Since the Guatemalan Revolution, Guatemala saw the expansion of labour rights and land reforms which granted property to landless peasants. With the operations of the United Fruit Company as a direct hand of USA, whose profits were affected by these policies, as well as fear of Communist influence in Guatemala culminated in the USA supporting Operation PBFortune to overthrow Guatemalan President Jacobo Árbenz in 1952. The plan involved providing weapons to the exiled Guatemalan military officer Carlos Castillo Armas, who was to lead an invasion from Nicaragua. This culminated in the 1954 Guatemalan coup d'état. The subsequent military junta assumed dictatorial powers, banned opposition parties and reversed the social reforms of the revolution. The USA would continue to support Guatemala through the Cold War, including during the Guatemalan Genocide in which hundreds here tortured and killed and the genocide against maya people, probably more than 200,000 mayas were killed. I saw some days ago a guatemalteco informed in a post of how this was with the help of Israel. Please if someone can elaborate on that. After the coup, American enterprises saw a return of influence in the country, in both the public level of government but also in the economy.
Please feel free to add USA crimes in your country.
#usa#usa is a terrorist state#usa has always be like this#school of the americas#usa imperialism#us imperialism#us foreign policy#woman#pregnancy#pregnant#trump#nixon#jimmy carter#dictatorship#zionism#class war#south america#global south#latam tag#us politics#us propaganda#concentration camps#arg tag#brazil tag#philippines#hawaii#guatemala
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Ok so I’ve been umming and ahhing about making this post for a while. I’ve always kinda planned on it, but seeing these tags on a previous post of mine (no hate to this user) made me want to post something now. It’s also gone 3am. So it’s not really going to be very clean and tidy, and will probably be a bit rambling, but I can always post a ‘tidy’ version another time.
So! Tackling Dick Grayson’s Romani/GRTSB heritage (warning: it’s a long one)
So, as usual, a few disclaimers: 1) I am not American. 2) I myself fall under the GRTSB umbrella - for clarity, I am from the fairground/circus so a Showman, but my family were simply ‘gypsies’ before getting involved in that in the Victorian period, so I use gypsy/traveller/Showman for myself. I also speak Romani and grew up in the culture and on the grounds. I’m not just talking out of my arse, I promise. 3) I do not pretend to have read every comic. However, this post will be based in things which DC have published (yeah I know it gets retconned every two minutes but hey, I’m working with it), even if some of it is more speculative/Headcanony, it will all be canon-compliant/what makes sense based on my own experiences. 4) That being said, everyone who does in some way fall under the GRTSB acronym will have different experiences and opinions, and all are equally valid and should be respected. 5) I use the term ‘gypsy’ a lot. Where I am from, it is not a slur, but is used almost a catch-all phrase for GRTSB people, by us. We also see Dick use it so I’m going to. I personally don’t mind if people use it (so long as they don’t use it as an insult) but not everyone will feel that way, so it’s always better to ask individuals. 6) this post is intended as a fun exploration of a character whom I relate to based on our shared heritage (when it’s really rare to find characters like that). I’m not trying to dictate to you how you should interpret Dick’s character. You’re welcome to different opinions and interpretations - this is just one of mine! :)
So, first, what is GRTSB? Well, it’s an acronym which covers all aspects of the gypsy/traveller umbrella. It is used in British legislation. It stands for Gypsy Romani Traveller Showman (aka fairground and circus) Boater. Under British legislation, only the first three (Gypsies, Romani, and Travellers) are considered an ethnic identity, whilst Showmen and Boaters are considered a cultural identity.
This is absolutely FULL of problems and has been hotly debated for years, with different people identifying in different ways. People who share the same/very similar ethnic heritage (i.e. siblings, or cousins) can have completely different points of view on what they identify as. As such, don’t take it as gospel - it’s more of a guideline than anything. Especially since a) these groups often intermarry, meaning that someone can be multiple at once; b) if a Showman stops travelling with the fair and settles, they don’t become a non-traveller, because it’s in your blood, not just a job; c) people can trace their heritage back past a particular group - e.g. my own family (circus and fairgrounds aka Showmen) can be traced back to at least the 1600s, before fairs were really a thing - at the time, they simply identified as gypsies. They didn’t stop being gypsies just because they changed their job/founded a circus/fairground. As such, many in my family identify primarily as a gypsy or traveller, and a Showman secondarily, whilst others do the opposite, or identify as just a Showman or just a traveller/gypsy. Like I say, this classification is not perfect, and is hotly debated, especially at the present time.
So, now, onto the subject of Dick Grayson. I included the tags above mostly because of the ‘tell me you don’t know a character without telling me you don’t know a character’, because, firstly, rude. secondly, the poster makes reference to the Golden Age. And yeah, obviously DC aren’t going to make reference to Dick being a gypsy in the Golden Age - do you really expect writers in the 40s to care enough about the nuances of a character’s ethnic heritage, especially a gypsy, at a time when it was still common even in countries like England (where legal segregation wasn’t a thing) to have signs on pubs like ‘no blacks, no Irish, no dogs, no gypsies’ - btw we still get those occasionally? However, if we look at the comics which have been published in the eighty five years since Dick’s debut, we see a lot of references to Dick having Romani/GRTSB heritage. Again, I’m not well read, but in Grayson’s run, at least, we do see Dick speaking Romani and self-identifying as a gypsy (Nightwing #91 btw). So I’m sorry but it is definitely canon that Dick has at least some Romani heritage (since Romani, by culture, is not taught to non-travellers on purpose, and is thus only passed down from parent to child. Hell, even some of my cousins who are half gypsy - Diddakois - don’t know the language!), and the fact that he speaks it and IDs as a gypsy does suggest that this is something important to him and his character. I know that being a gypsy is certainly a big thing to me (with how the world treats us, you have to be proud of it and have it be important to you to make it worth it).
So now we come onto the second part of my rant: wtf is going on with Haly’s Circus.
So, an important bit of context is, what makes a gypsy a gypsy? And the answer to that, in my opinion, is a mix between culture and blood. You can’t be a gypsy (unless in circumstances like adoption) unless you have both. What I mean by that is, if you’ve got one gypsy great great great grandparent, but weren’t bought up with the culture and morals, you have gypsy heritage but are not a gypsy. However, if you are a gypsy and you decide to settle down in a house, work in an office, and never speak Romani again, you are still a gypsy. Similarly, if you suddenly decide to take on the gypsy lifestyle (maybe work on the fairgrounds or in the circus, or go travelling like the New Age lot), you are not a gypsy, because it’s not in your blood - hence why it’s an ethnicity, not a cultural thing really. As such, it is common for there to be a us vs them mentality even with those working on the ground - you have the gypsy/traveller/Showman who tends to own/run things, and then you have hired non-GRTSB staff (traditionally called chaps, but this has fell out of fashion in recent years).
Now, I make this distinction because Haly’s Circus is really odd in that regard.
Most gypsy (or Showmen - like I say, it can be both at the same time) ran circuses and fairs tend to be family affairs. For example, it might be John Doe’s Circus on the tin, but the Smith family (which Mr Doe’s sister married into) will often work with and alongside the Does in the running and operating of the events. Largely, this is on an ownership level, with various relations then owning the surrounding supporting elements (e.g. sideshows, fairground rides and joints, food kiosks). Other family members might then help ‘mind’ the stuff, or you can hire non-GRTSB staff to help.
Now to draw on my own family history: historically, in the Victorian period, etc, it was common for the gypsy family who owned the circus to also perform in it. For example, in my grandfather’s circus, my grandmother was a lion tamer and equestrian performer in parades. They did also hire non-traveller performers, but there wasn’t such a distinct line. However, by the 30s approximately, this had changed to be a more managerial role, with it being more common to have purely hired performers in the main event. The exception here was for sideshows and fairground rides - it is still common today for these to be ran/worked by GRTSB people (e.g. my grandmother did the dookering - fortune telling - and my grandfather did the boxing; today, we still run and operate the rides and kiosks).
However, we know that Haly’s circus was not like that. We honestly don’t know if Haly was a gypsy or not. Also, usually, gypsies have such big families and are surrounded by them, but we know that the Graysons died with no living family (no William Cobb does not count here) and had no relation to anyone at Haly’s. I suppose if you want a canon answer, you could point to how Haly’s was used by the Court of Owls, but it could just be Like That. This is unusual but not unheard of, but still worth pointing out I think. Alternatively, it could originate from one of the non-GRTSB started circuses which were popular around the turn of the 20th century. Since being a gypsy is really tied to your family name and, ethnically, means you have to be born into it - you can’t just start a fair and claim to be one-, even 120 years later, these families are still met with scepticism - they could marry into a 100% gypsy family in 1901, and have all of their descendants do the same, and still the older generation would look at their surname and scoff and say they’re not a real traveller because that one great grandfather 100 years ago was not a born-and-bred traveller. But honestly, I think 100 years is enough to integrate. So, to summarise, Haly’s circus is quite unusual in that it does not appear to be operated by only gypsies/Showmen, even if it still common for circuses not to be performed in by just gypsies.
Now, to answer, how Romani is Dick Grayson?
Like I say, canon does explicitly tell us that he has Romani heritage, placing him firmly within that second category of the GRTSB acronym (and he also identifies with the more general Gypsy identity). However, it’s frankly unlikely that the writers really went in depth with the whole GRTSB thing, so I think we can tentatively suggest that he might have also identified (keyword here being ‘might’ - this is more canon-compliant HC here y’all) as a Showman (called a Carney in the US) because the whole deal with being a Showman is the circus/fairground aspect (but, like I say, it is still a ‘gypsy’ identity as you must be born a Showman, you can’t just sign up, because it is based on a mutual gypsy heritage which predates fairgrounds/circuses, which means it still fits into what we know of Dick in canon. As such, Dick being a Showman is hardly canon, but it is 100% compliant with what we know of Dick in canon). As I’ve said, they are not mutually exclusive. He could ID as both or either, or just prefer the all-encompassing ‘gypsy’.
Now, we also know that Dick is not 100% gypsy (but tbh who is nowadays? I have two non-gypsy great-great grandfathers). Although Dick’s family history is limited, we know that his great grandfather William Cobb was likely not a gypsy (he could be ethnically, it’s not ruled out, he might have just settled, but let’s go for safety’s sake here and just say he’s not). Similarly, his partner was from a wealthy non-gypsy family, meaning that ethnically, their baby (John Grayson’s father) was likely not a gypsy (though could potentially have been a Diddakoi aka a half-gypsy, if we believe William Cobb to be a settled gypsy). However, since this baby still grew up amongst the circus, it is not impossible that he ended up marrying a gypsy, which would make John Grayson half gypsy - aka a Diddakoi. In fact, I would argue that it is even likely, owing to the fact that Dick speaks Romani, and the fact that Romani is only taught to other members of the family, meaning that somewhere in the Grayson family, a Romani speaker had to be introduced. Mary Grayson (formerly Lloyd), on the other hand, probably was Romani/GRTSB herself. I say this, based mostly on her closeness with the OG Richard aka Raptor from Seeley’s run, who was Romani, and the fact that it is really common in gypsy circles to mostly mix with other gypsies, meaning that it would make sense for the pair to meet based on the fact that they were both gypsies/Romani. Therefore, I would argue that even if Dick is not wholly Romani/gypsy ethnically (but, like I say, who is nowadays?), I think there is enough both blood and culturally to make a pretty good case for him IDing as such, and foregoing the need to make any distinction. (Also, especially nowadays when Diddakois are increasingly more common, it’s not even that prejudiced to be a Diddakoi. A lot of my cousins are and you don’t even think to mention it). Aka. He’s a gypsy. Nuff said.
Then, I suppose, the final thing I’ll address is the ‘whitewashing’ issue, or, what I really think is a non-issue.
Sure, a lot of ethnically Romani people are dark skinned. There is a reason why the term gypsy exists. Now, as my grandad will tell you, gypsies originated from Northern India about 2000 years ago, before moving into Europe. However, a lot can happen in 2000 years. There are a lot of people in the UK, at least, who identify as purely Romani who have very pale skin. My family has a real split: my dad’s side of the family is quite dark, and are often mistaken for being South Asian in the summer due to how dark they get when they tan. Meanwhile, he refers to my mother’s side of the family as being ‘poxy and pasty’. My mother is a full-blooded traveller btw, same as my dad (barring their singular non-gypsy great grandad they each had). You just can’t paint everybody with the same brush. Take me for example: I am pale af and take after my mum’s side of the family, but I’ve still got the stereotypical dark curly hair and blue eyes of gypsies (which my boy also shares). Genetics are weird. So whilst I am a big fan of dark skinned Romani Dick Grayson, it’s also still ok and accurate for him to be paler. This does not make him any less Romani. (Like I say, this is all based on my experiences in the UK).
SOOO… TLDR:
Dick definitely has Romani heritage. This has been canon for decades and cannot be taken away from him.
He canonically self-IDs as a ‘gypsy’ (as well as the Romani heritage), and may also be interpreted as being a Showman (even if this is more of a European term) if you want to see him that way, especially since a lot of Showman families (mine included) can trace their families back past the origin of the fairground to when they simply identified as gypsies or Romani (hence why Dick might ID as a gypsy with Romani heritage. Honestly, this is mostly in the realm of canon-compliant Headcanon now)
The GRTSB classification system is a mess y’all and everyone has a different opinion. Just roll with it and don’t get into the debates is my professional opinion.
Being Romani/a gypsy/a traveller/a Showman is something you are born into. You can’t just become one, or stop being one. So, if we presume that William Cobb had no Romani heritage/was not a settled-down Gypsy, even after he joined Haly’s he did not become one. It really is in your blood, and is tied to family.
Haly’s circus is unusual because it’s mostly not a family affair (though points for the Graysons sticking with it and inheriting their roles - that is realistic!). It’s unclear how many of the members of the circus are Romani.
Dick also has non-traveller heritage due to the William Cobb thing. His grandfather, at least, was probably not ethnically Romani (though he might have been half if we want to view William Cobb as having Romani heritage/being a settled gypsy). However, since Dick canonically has Romani heritage, IDs as a gypsy, and speaks Romani (a language which is closely guarded amongst gypsies), it had to come in somewhere. Honestly, I think we can comfortably view him as being at least 3/4 ethnically Romani/a Gypsy, but also since modern Dick Grayson was not born during prohibition, this really isn’t a problem as it’s really common for Diddakois (half gypsies) to be treated as full gypsies nowadays.
As much as I love darker skinned Dick Grayson, it’s not a requirement. A lot of the GRTSB community (especially in Western Europe/Britain/Ireland) are on the pale side. This does not take away from their identity.
So that’s my rant. It’s like 3.30am so it’s probably a complete mess but hopefully it gets down the basics, at least insofar as it relates to my experiences and understanding as a gypsy from the fairground/a circus family. People will probably have different experiences (especially since I’m in the UK). Although I have based all of this on canon, and as such it should all be canon-compliant to my knowledge (I’ve still not read all the comics!), it is also equally based on my experiences, so you may interpret it completely differently. The beauty of Dick’s character is that he has been built up over 85 years, and as such, we have to do our best to interpret what was laid down in the Golden Age by writers with no idea of what Dick’s character would grow to be. As such, canon really is a bit of a sandbox, and this is my own go at it!
If anyone has any questions/wants clarification/notices any obvious contradictions with canon since I’ve not read them all yet, please feel free to point it out! This is not intended to be a lecture/call out post/dictatorship on how you view canon, just a small exploration of my interpretation of a character whom I relate to as a Romani speaking gypsy from the fairground/circus myself.
#I’m low-key terrified to post this pls don’t hang draw and quarter me#batman#batfam#dc comics#dick grayson#nightwing#romani dick grayson
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On the basis of my own comment, "I fully missed this because I cannot handle the news except in ‘weekly postmortem’ format", I've decided to do a write-up of everything I've been reading about the crash over Washington, D.C.
If this isn't the sort of posting you'd like to see from me in the future, please feel free to block "#the post mortem". I'm not sure how many of these I have in me, but if I ever find myself struck by the fancy to do another, that is the tag I will be using.
I'd also like to thank Canary (canary_lux on Discord) for help gathering, scanning, and organizing sources, and for their insight on flight training.
Throughout this write-up, I will refer to the current president by number of term (45 or 47), mostly to differentiate policies enacted during his first term from the present.
Intro
On the night of Wednesday, 1/29/25, 67 people died in a collision between an American Airlines passenger aircraft and a military Blackhawk helicopter. This tragedy was immediately followed by outcry and the usual hunt for someone to hold accountable. This was also the first fatal air crash involving a US airline since 2009—a 16-year safety record.
While it’s tempting to assign blame to various politicians, parties, and policies for the accident—and in fact many do (FAA blames trump, trump blames DEI, FAA, Biden in particular and democrats in general, etc.)—sole political ownership cannot be assigned. The initial outcry drew attention to a hiring freeze for air traffic controllers, and to curt dismissal of FAA personnel, but the problem has been brewing for far longer.
This post mortem seeks to provide some context for the incident at Reagan National Airport by looking back at policies of the last two presidential terms, as well as the reality of local air traffic in Washington, D.C.
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The Shortage
Before addressing the current shortage of air traffic controllers, it is important to note that since the accident all reports indicate the air traffic controller on duty that night gave proper instructions.
Both planes and military aircraft are equipped with Automatic Dependent Surveillance-Broadcast (ADS-B), but this system is suppressed at low altitudes because of the high likelihood of false alerts. At last reporting, the Blackhawk was at an altitude of 375 ft. For helicopters, the permitted flight ceiling over Washington, D.C. is 200ft.
With that established, however, there is still value in drawing attention to the national shortage of air traffic controllers (henceforward ATC's).
In 2021, the US Bureau of Statistics ranked air traffic control as the 4th most stressful job among all. The position has a high employee turnover rate due to transfers, resignations, removals, deaths, and attrition. An ATC's skills are unique, and costly to replace both in money and time, as candidates go through 2-3 years of training and must pass a rigorous exam.
During the COVID 19 pandemic, lockdowns drove down the volume of daily flights, putting many air traffic controllers out of a job. Agencies worldwide let go of trainees, stopped hiring, and stopped training new hires. In many cases, academies closed outright. Many air traffic controllers were offered early retirement.
Once travel restrictions were lifted, demand bounced back—and the aviation industry suddenly faced a bottleneck. A 2 or 3 year one, in fact. Flights haven't really bounced back perfectly since the pandemic; many airports experience serious delays—not least because they don't have enough ATC's.
In June 2023, the DoT inspector general reported that 77% of air traffic control facilities were understaffed. In December 2023, after a series of high profile near-misses, the FAA named a panel of experts to address air traffic controller fatigue. Reuters reported that air traffic controllers work mandatory overtime and 6-day weeks.
The FAA's response to these findings was to appoint a three-member panel to "examine how the latest science on sleep needs and fatigue considerations could be applied to controller work requirements and scheduling" until more personnel could be hired. Furthermore, the FAA Reauthorisation Act of 2024 expanded air traffic controller training capacity and required the FAA to update the training process.
Unfortunately, the near-misses and flight delays are likely to continue under recent policy changes.
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The Policy of 45
The main reason for addressing the shortage itself at the top of this write-up is that a lot of early outcry held the 47th President's recent hiring freezes, cuts, and firings responsible for the accident.
Context is critical. Obviously, trump’s hiring freeze in no way helps this issue, and neither does the dismissal of people in leadership positions. Even the panel he dismissed was the Aviation Security Advisory Committee, which is geared towards TSA operations moreso than air traffic control.
But on the ground, it's probably his policies as 45 that did the most lasting damage.
In 2018, the proposed budget cut funds to the DoT by 13%, or $2.4 billion. The proposal eliminated funding for the Essential Air Service, a program that guaranteed continued commercial air service to small communities in the US which would not otherwise be profitable. Air traffic control would also be privatized under the proposal.
This 2018 post by Democracy Forward provides a good summary of 45's policies. (It's also an interesting read if you've been following the recent changes in regulation of airline fees. In brief, the struggle to regulate fees and accessibility has been ongoing since before 2013, and trump's policies are unsurprisingly airline company-friendly.)
By contrast, in 2021 the proposed budget for the FAA included $11.4 billion (increase of $432 million from FY21) to oversee the safety of civil aviation, and to provide for the operation, maintenance, communications, and logistical support of the air traffic control and air navigation systems. There were additional requests totalling over $8 billion to improve airfield infrastructure and grants for Aviation Workforce Development programs.
The final 2021 budget, the American Rescue Plan Act of 2021, passed with $15 billion for airlines and airline contractors for a third extension of Payroll Support Program which would otherwise have expired at the end of March 2021. The extension prevented the furlough of more than 27,000 aviation employees. There was an additional $8 billion for U.S. airports.
As a result of 45's budget cuts, the FAA was forced to lay off many people. “He slashed our budget and a lot of people, including myself, were laid off. So, we’re just waiting to see what programs will continue,” a longtime FAA contractor, rehired under the Biden administration, told What A Day.
Former House Transportation and Infrastructure Chair Peter DeFazio also notes, "The unnecessary government shutdown [in 2019] shut down the Aviation Academy, and a number of people did not come back after the academy closed down." He cites this as a crucial interruption that was then followed by a yearlong closure due to the lockdown.
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Congested Airspace
In his interview with Politico, DeFazio puts Congress front and center: "Every senator in particular wants a nonstop flight to and from wherever they live. As you saw, [Kansas Sen.] Jerry Moran said this was a flight which he had encouraged or otherwise supported. The last FAA bill, [Texas Sen.] Ted Cruz said he needed a direct flight to [San Antonio], so he engaged in a lengthy battle."
The bill referenced here is S. 1939, the FAA Reauthorization Act of 2024, which contained many positive items. This was the bill that required air carriers to provide a full refund for a cancelled or significantly delayed flight; it expanded air traffic controller training capacity and required the FAA to update the training process.
This bill also increased the number of daily round-trip flights allowed at Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport (DCA), despite protests from the airport authority. (Though it should be noted that the new flights added to the airport's schedule by this bill have not yet been fully implemented.)
DeFazio has words for the military, as well: "And it’s one thing, when there’s an urgent need or a security issue, to move people by military helicopter to the White House or from one base to another in the D.C. area. It’s another to do it for convenience for generals and “very important people” who don’t want to sit in traffic. […] for training, they should be doing that in the hours when there are way fewer flights coming into National Airport."
The flight rules over Washington, D.C. are very complex, developed to manage civilian, military, and government traffic. It is simultaneously the most restricted and the most congested airspace in the country. Pilots have been complaining about the complexity of flight rules for years.
This stretch of the Potomac in particular is designated a Special Flight Restricted Area. In the words of Senator Tammy Duckworth (D-IL), "You don't get to fly in that without additional flight training." All crew members aboard the Blackhawk were experienced, having logged 500-1000 hours. Transcripts of the air traffic control instructions and responses from the pilots in the minutes before the accident show that the Blackhawk crew twice confirmed visual of the plane with the ATC, including approximately 25 seconds before impact.
But in multiple stories published since the crash, there are quotes from pilots who had similar experiences in that area, and recall near-misses with passenger aircraft coming in to the same runway. One retired Army National Guard helicopter pilot recalls that he lost sight of the jet in the city lights and descended to an altitude of 50 feet to avoid collision with an unseen flight. There are at least two reports of near-misses under very similar conditions from 2013 and 2015.
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The Post Mortem
The President's flurry of executive orders, hiring and funding freezes, have dominated the news cycle for the last 12 days. There isn't currently evidence to support that various budget and staffing cuts, including those attempted by 47 two days before the accident, directly contributed to the incident on January 29th.
However, cutting personnel, funding, and abolishing positions once vacated will increase the risk of accidents going forward. Many US government services have not recovered from the combination of 45's policies and effects of the pandemic. They are presently in a state where funding and personnel cuts will result in direct consequences to the American people, and likely very quickly.
As for the Washington, D.C. crash itself, it is indeed a tragic loss of life. In all likelihood, it could have been prevented by appropriate response to prior near-misses, addressing concerns voiced by pilots and professionals, or perhaps a less entitled Senate.
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Sources
https://webcf.waybackmachine.org/web/20250120173159/https://simpleflying.com/us-atc-shortage-analysis/
https://www.reuters.com/business/aerospace-defense/panel-review-us-air-traffic-controller-fatigue-after-near-miss-incidents-2023-12-20/
https://www.tumblr.com/gunsandfireandshit/774138773393063936?source=share
https://www.tumblr.com/huffy-the-bicycle-slayer/774137554059575296?source=share
https://democracyforward.org/work/sidebar-airlines-and-the-trump-administration/ (published 2018, edited 2022)
https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2025/01/31/defazio-plane-crash-blame-00201767
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2018_United_States_federal_budget
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Rescue_Plan_Act_of_2021
https://phys.org/news/2017-06-pros-cons-privatizing-air-traffic.html
https://www.tsa.gov/sites/default/files/asac-charter-september-2022.pdf
https://www.wdsu.com/article/pilots-worried-dc-airspace-crash/63626297
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/experts-ask-why-black-hawk-helicopter-may-have-been-flying-above-allowed-altitude/
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/tammy-duckworth-american-airlines-crash/
https://commons.erau.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1910&context=jaaer
#the post mortem#don't call me shirley#current events#reagan national airport#washington dc plane crash
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Michael de Adder :: @deAdder :: The Globe and Mail
* * * *
LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN
February 2, 2025
Heather Cox Richardson
Feb 03, 2025
Billionaire Elon Musk’s team yesterday took control of the Treasury’s payment system, thus essentially gaining access to the checkbook with which the United States handles about $6 trillion annually and to all the financial information of Americans and American businesses with it. Apparently, it did not stop there.
Today Ellen Knickmeyer of the Associated Press reported that yesterday two top security officials from the U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID) tried to stop people associated with Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency, or DOGE, from accessing classified information they did not have security clearance to see. The Trump administration put the officials on leave, and the DOGE team gained access to the information.
Vittoria Elliott of Wired has identified those associated with Musk’s takeover as six “engineers who are barely out of—and in at least one case, purportedly still in—college.” They are connected either to Musk or to his long-time associate Peter Thiel, who backed J.D. Vance’s Senate run eighteen months before he became Trump’s vice presidential running mate. Their names are Akash Bobba, Edward Coristine, Luke Farritor, Gautier Cole Killian, Gavin Kliger, and Ethan Shaotran, and they have little to no experience in government.
Public policy expert Dan Moynihan told reporter Elliott that the fact these people “are not really public officials” makes it hard for Congress to intervene. “So this feels like a hostile takeover of the machinery of governments by the richest man in the world,” he said. Law professor Nick Bednar noted that “it is very unlikely” that the engineers “have the expertise to understand either the law or the administration needs that surround these agencies.”
After Musk’s team breached the USAID computers, cybersecurity specialist Matthew Garrett posted: “Random computers being plugged into federal networks is obviously terrifying in terms of what data they're deliberately accessing, but it's also terrifying because it implies controls are being disabled—unmanaged systems should never have access to this data. Who else has access to those systems?”
USAID receives foreign policy guidance from the State Department. Intelligence agencies must now assume U.S. intelligence systems are insecure.
Musk’s response was to post: “USAID is a criminal organization. Time for it to die.” Also last night, according to Sam Stein of The Bulwark, “the majority of staff in the legislative and public affairs bureau lost access to their emails, implying they’ve been put on admin leave although this was never communicated to them.”
Congress established USAID in 1961 to bring together the many different programs that were administering foreign aid. Focusing on long-term socioeconomic development, USAID has a budget of more than $50 billion, less than 1% of the U.S. annual budget. It is one of the largest aid agencies in the world.
Musk is unelected, and it appears that DOGE has no legal authority. As political scientist Seth Masket put it in tusk: “Elon Musk is not a federal employee, nor has he been appointed by the President nor approved by the Senate to have any leadership role in government. The ‘Department of Government Efficiency,’ announced by Trump in a January 20th executive order, is not truly any sort of government department or agency, and even the executive order uses quotes in the title. It’s perfectly fine to have a marketing gimmick like this, but DOGE does not have power over established government agencies, and Musk has no role in government. It does not matter that he is an ally of the President. Musk is a private citizen taking control of established government offices. That is not efficiency; that is a coup.”
DOGE has simply taken over government systems. Musk, using President Donald Trump’s name, is personally deciding what he thinks should be cut from the U.S. government.
Today, Musk reposted a social media post from MAGA religious extremist General Mike Flynn, who resigned from his position as Trump’s national security advisor in 2017 after pleading guilty to secret conversations with a Russian agent—for which Trump pardoned him—and who publicly embraced the QAnon conspiracy theory. In today’s post, Flynn complained about “the ‘Lutheran’ faith” and, referring to federal grants provided to Lutheran Family Services and affiliated organizations, said, “this use of ‘religion’ as a money laundering operation must end.” Musk added: “The [DOGE] team is rapidly shutting down these illegal payments.”
In fact, this is money appropriated by Congress, and its payment is required by law. Republican lawmakers have pushed government subsidies and grants toward religious organizations for years, and Lutheran Social Services is one of the largest employers in South Dakota, where it operates senior living facilities.
South Dakota is the home of Senate majority leader John Thune, who has not been a strong Trump supporter, as well as Homeland Security secretary nominee Kristi Noem.
The news that DOGE has taken over U.S. government computers is not the only bombshell this weekend.
Another is that Trump has declared a trade war with the top trading partners of the United States: Mexico, Canada, and China. Although his first administration negotiated the current trade agreement between the U.S., Mexico, and Canada, on Saturday Trump broke the terms of that treaty.
He slapped tariffs of 25% on goods coming from Mexico and Canada, tariffs of 10% on Canadian energy, and tariffs of 10% on goods coming from China. He said he was doing so to force Mexico and Canada to do more about undocumented migration and drug trafficking, but while precursor chemicals to make fentanyl come from China and undocumented migrants come over the southern border with Mexico, Canada accounts for only about 1% of both. Further, Trump has diverted Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents combating drug trafficking to his immigration sweeps.
As soon as he took office, Trump designated Mexican drug cartels as foreign terrorist organizations, and on Friday, Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth responded that “all options will be on the table” when a Fox News Channel host asked if the military will strike within Mexico. Today Trump was clearer: he posted on social media that without U.S. trade—which Trump somehow thinks is a “massive subsidy”—“Canada ceases to exist as a viable Country. Harsh but true! Therefore, Canada should become our Cherished 51st State. Much lower taxes, and far better military protection for the people of Canada—AND NO TARIFFS!”
Trump inherited the best economy in the world from his predecessor, President Joe Biden, but on Friday, as soon as White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt confirmed that Trump would levy the tariffs, the stock market plunged. Trump, who during his campaign insisted that tariffs would boost the economy, today said that Americans could feel “SOME PAIN” from them. He added “BUT WE WILL MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN, AND IT WILL ALL BE WORTH THE PRICE THAT MUST BE PAID.” Tonight, stock market futures dropped 450 points before trading opens tomorrow.
Mexican president Claudia Sheinbaum wrote, “We categorically reject the White House’s slander that the Mexican government has alliances with criminal organizations, as well as any intention of meddling in our territory,” and has promised retaliatory tariffs. China noted that it has been working with the U.S. to regulate precursor chemicals since 2019 and said it would sue the U.S. before the World Trade Organization.
Canada’s prime minister Justin Trudeau announced more than $100 billion in retaliatory 25% tariffs and then spoke directly to Americans. Echoing what economists have said all along, Trudeau warned that tariffs would cost jobs, raise prices, and limit the precious metals necessary for U.S. security. But then he turned from economics to principles.
“As President John F. Kennedy said many years ago,” Trudeau began, “geography has made us neighbours. History has made us friends, economics has made us partners and necessity has made us allies.” He noted that “from the beaches of Normandy to the mountains of the Korean Peninsula, from the fields of Flanders to the streets of Kandahar,” Canadians “have “fought and died alongside you.”
“During the summer of 2005, when Hurricane Katrina ravaged your great city of New Orleans, or mere weeks ago when we sent water bombers to tackle the wildfires in California. During the day, the world stood still—Sept. 11, 2001—when we provided refuge to stranded passengers and planes, we were always there, standing with you, grieving with you, the American people.
“Together, we’ve built the most successful economic, military and security partnership the world has ever seen. A relationship that has been the envy of the world…. Unfortunately, the actions taken today by the White House split us apart instead of bringing us together.”
Trudeau said Canada’s response would “be far reaching and include everyday items such as American beer, wine and bourbon, fruits and fruit juices, including orange juice, along with vegetables, perfume, clothing and shoes. It’ll include major consumer products like household appliances, furniture and sports equipment, and materials like lumber and plastics, along with much, much more. He assured Canadians: “[W]e are all in this together. The Canadian government, Canadian businesses, Canadian organized labour, Canadian civil society, Canada’s premiers, and tens of millions of Canadians from coast to coast to coast are aligned and united. This is Team Canada at its best.”
Canadian provincial leaders said they were removing alcohol from Republican-dominated states, and Canadian member of parliament Charlie Angus noted that the Liquor Control Board of Ontario buys more wine by dollar value than any other organization in the world and that Canada is the number one export market for Kentucky spirits. The Liquor Control Board of Ontario has stopped all purchases of American beer, wine, and spirits, turning instead to allies and local producers. Canada’s Irving Oil, which provides heating oil to New England, has already told customers that prices will reflect the tariffs.
In a riveting piece today, in his Thinking about…, scholar of authoritarianism Timothy Snyder wrote that “[t]he people who now dominate the executive branch of the government…are acting, quite deliberately, to destroy the nation.” “Think of the federal government as a car,” he wrote. “You might have thought that the election was like getting the car serviced. Instead, when you come into the shop, the mechanics, who somehow don’t look like mechanics, tell you that they have taken the parts of your car that work and sold them and kept the money. And that this was the most efficient thing to do. And that you should thank them.”
On Friday, James E. Dennehy of the FBI’s New York field office told his staff that they are “in a battle of our own, as good people are being walked out of the F.B.I. and others are being targeted because they did their jobs in accordance with the law and F.B.I. policy.” He vowed that he, anyway, is going to “dig in.”
LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN
HEATHER COX RICHARDSON
#deAdder#Michael de Adder#The globe and Mail#Heather Cox Richardson#Letters From An American#Musk#tariffs#coup#Timothy Snyder#FBI#USAID#DOGE#constitutional crisis#unprecidented
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you know you’re renting a house in america when there’s painted over tape on the wall
#ive been living here at least five months and ive just now noticed this#crying#the things i’ve found just painted over in all tbe houses ive lived in is great#american housing#america rahhh#this feels like an american experience at least#idk how rental housing care is in other countries lol#but this is standard for the us of a
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(cage the elephant voice) money don't grow on trees, I got bills to pay, etc etc etc
ngl this month has been Rough™: for whatever reason, I've been going back to Thief for something familiar. which is. well. it's definitely not the same as relaxing, I have never felt relaxed playing the original Thief games lmao but it is familiar! I wrote an outline for a longer fan comic set after Deadly Shadows using themes/etc I enjoyed from the 2014 reboot but I got sidetracked reading up on the gnarlier politics involved in the Industrial Revolution. so. we'll see what happens with that!
#sometimes i play pathologic to relax because it's a pain machine but at least it's voluntary you know. i signed up for it and im seated#dealing the american health insurance system feels a lot like a meat grinder -100000/10 experience#GOD not a day goes by where im not sad that they got rid of 2014 garrett's nail polish from the concept art augbgbhhhh#if i spent more time drawing crossbows i'd draw 2014 garrett but until that day comes (drawing crossbows) i'm going to give it#to classic garrett#thief game#garrett thief
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seems to me like zac oyama is repping some experiences of asian american schoolkids, defined by such hits like 'regulate your anger,' 'communicate clearer to deliberately misunderstanding assholes,' and 'perpetual sense of unbelonging in both the american part and the asian part of your life.'
#dimension 20#fantasy high#fhjy#zac oyama#gorgug thistlespring#great stuff! I can't watch that shit for entertainment#the asian american strugglebus... feeling like an alien hahahahahahahahahahahahahaahha#this is just surface level personal experience ofc like maybe I had a very specific version of childhood#oh yeah did i mention the Designated Role you get in school lol that's fun for literally nobody who ever attended school schools suck#but education is good! try not to drop out or at least get geds they help college is a good thing check out crash course on youtube#panic rambling in the tags tonite#my thoughts#talking about my asian-ness makes me so nervous my westernized brain is yelling 'shut up! shut up!'#I enjoy gorgug being rage-ful as a treat#asian things
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(random) ngl before i started learning korean i felt like the worst failure of a korean but now i feel like the best failure of a korean (/j) HAHA
like im struggling to speak but least im speaking..!! I feel like I've restored an essential piece of myself that was missing...
#i tweeted this but im prob gonna delete it soon so#puts it here too in case ppl can relate...? lol#since i know its a common immigrant kid experience...#being disconnected from your heritage language i mean#for various reasons...#i thought i was ok w it but its rly a horrible feeling#like i said it felt like smth was missing#and i kinda jokingly self deprecatingly worded it as the best failure of a korean#but thats kind of... accurate fmfbnf like i feel embarrassed that im not fluent and feel like im a baby flailing my arms#but i still feel like even if im imperfect im more... complete#that isnt to say i was incomplete before... or anyone in the same situation is. but its still an exuberant feeling#and helps me get over feeling embarrassed that i suck at kr so bad. like AT LEAST I CAN COMMUNICATE NOW!!!#talk tag#laughing to myself rmbring that me and prob 1000s of other asian americans prob wrote an essay abt being detached from our culture for#our college/scholarship/etc essays#well i didnt know i was lgbt then i had to write abt smth!! and it was eating me up all the time...#i rly hope i can improve my kr more in the coming yrs
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James corden coming back now this have we not suffered enough 😞
#I could say something about the entitlement usamericans feel to being able to move abroad anywhere in the world and be welcome but hey#from first hand experience I know they give near zero effort to actually understand local cultures either#anyway. I have multiple friends currently in the UK bc of this so I can’t be too hateful#but I also know a lot of extremely ignorant and obnoxious Americans here and I can only imagine it’ll get worse 🤣#<- anyway the uk is cooked anyway so hardly the most productive move#but usamericans looooove moving here bc it’s ‘easy’ Europe (no pesky foreign languages hey)#but very typical usamerican ethnocentrist exceptionalism mindset to be like. ah yes our election result has ramifications that’ll negtively#impact the whole world#let’s go move somewhere else where we’ll feel that negative repercussion the least#also whole world shows their asses and gives usamericans visas too easy it’s embarasing 😭😭😭#like I have friends in the Us who just don’t get it and keep trying to get me to move there and I’m like it’s not that easy ??#even if I wanted to ????#no concept at all that getting a visa can be hard 😭😭
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we've had a death in the family (a long expected one, to be clear, but sad nonetheless :( ) and the funeral is across the country on the day after veilguard releases, so my wait now has a few more days added to it. oh well if I've waited ten years I can wait until the monday after launch haha
#my great uncle had been sick for years so it wasn't a surprise but he was still the baby of the bunch to a flock of sisters#I feel sad for my grandmother and great aunts in the middle of all of this#having to deal with burying their little brother and figuring out what to do with the family farm and everything :( end of an era stuff#the ONE week of the year I've been looking forward to for the last decade tho fhsdkjas it's genuinely a bit funny#thwarted at the last moment#deciding to take it as a little period to gain some information and more to work with that can enrich my experience when I play!#like finally hearing more of the american voices to decide which one to go with and understand more what they're doing thematically etc.#really hone that rook headcanon game into the frequency that will most fuck me up before I jump in lol#maybe even be more sure what romances would fit best#typically I don't mind being spoiled at all (often I even prefer it b/c I'm bad at processing emotion in the moment)#so hopefully I'll be able to be part of the community feeling a bit at least second hand before I get to it myself!
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yknow what i wish i had more people i looked up to
#thinking about sempai/kouhai relationships#like genuine slightly more experienced to younger person relationships not romance#and like man i've always loved the idea of it#that if you have a little more experience you take care of and help teach those who come after#that when you're new you have people you can go to and rely on#like. american culture is So individualized that even entry level jobs expect experience its all about do it yourself#and there's no. reaching a hand out. or like i know there IS but#it's not broadly expected#in any case i've been out of school for ages and none of my jobs really even have any option for that kind of thing#which is where this frustration is coming from#like my in-person job (as opposed to my online where obv i have VERY little interaction even with coworkers)#the only other employees are two adults who've been doing this for ages#and i'm still learning how to communicate with them#and i just. i'm trying to respect them as my superiors but i don't particularly respect them as people#which feels mean but augh#our workplace doesn't give me a lot of room to like see what they're doing and learn from it anyway#i wish i had someone i respected in the admiration way you know#that i could actually see their work. in detail#so i could mimic and learn from them#and it's so childish and i'm too old to be like this#i should be a sempai to other people by now#but i'm so behind#and i'm a complete disaster at communicating with people younger than me lmao#i wish i could at least rest comfortably in my accomplishments but i have none#i wish i were someone who took good care of others but i know myself and my personality is the opposite: better at Being spoiled#and unfortunately i'm both unsuccessful and not trophy wife material#no choice but to do things on my own#if i can't have a partner to spoil me can't i at least have a close relationship with a sempai figure#parent figures don't count 'cause it just makes me feel/act more childish which is the wrong direction!#i'm gonna be embarrassed about all these texts posts later
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one of the lesser talked about fun things about intentionally reading more books is finding new stuff to be a bit of a hater about tbh
#and i know sometimes im probably just not properly picking up whatever the writer is putting down but whatever it's still fun#to actually know what you think about stuff like the highly regarded classics and extremely popular hyped up things#here are a few writers im a bit of a hater about w my opinions now btw#neil gaiman: does not do it for me at alllll#have read the graveyard book and american gods and hated almost every minute of both#in american gods i just found the aesthetic ideas and characters completely unappealing and in the graveyard book#i thought it was dreary and not well described enough... kept feeling like it was too bare bones in some way to picture things properly#i was like 'hmm i wish this was one of his graphic novels instead bc i'd like to be able to see what's going on here a bit better...'#also his humour just never lands for me and i do not often get his references either#ray bradbury annoys me in a similar way to neil gaiman but also somewhat oppositely like where#the way they write characters and plots and ideas and the stuff they care about gets on my nerves in an almost identical way#that i don't know how to define except to say i had a bit of a 'same energy' experience reading Something Wicked This Way Comes#and some of neil gaiman's stuff#but unlike neil gaiman i think that ray bradbury attempts to describe things unusually so much and TOO much#to the point that it takes me out of the story in a different yet similar way#to how the lack of description in neil gaiman's stuff does#what else have i become a bit of a hater about or did not get the appeal of lately? hmmm#oh hp lovecraft hahahaha#least scary stories ever god everything he's scared of is so dumb#like even aside from his extremely racist takes and fear of the 'exotic other' his fears about being cosmically insignificant are just like#yeah and? whats so scary about that hahaha i literally just dont get it#also the amount he writes dialogue in heavy accents annoys the shit out of me#p
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anyone else's moods fluctuate such an insane amount that you basically shape shift into different people with different ideals and worldviews + personalities or do i have some other shit going on
#this is worded kinda funny but reading about DID and disassociative disorders more and realizing hey ur not supposed to lose time lile that#i experience a lot of memory gaps and i wake up not remembering anything from the day before besides glimpses#i know i have disassociation issues. i always have bc yknow. bipolar and such.. it comes with mania a lot for me and then it started to come#with depression#and now its all the time and its like sometimes the real me can peek through but usually im someone else#i dunno. sometimes i feel like different people. shit i would bring up with a therapist (if i had one) (insert meme)#i dont want to say i have alters persay but it kind of does feel like different people up there talking amongst themselves#(kind of normal given i have psychotic issues and positive schizophrenic symptoms)#Ohhhhh american healthcare....#i hope i can manage to get to at the very least a psychiatrist for medicine Lmfao. but theres always some new shit wrong w me as of late#honey's words
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every night i ask myself. do i watch a horror movie or do i play minecraft. and the decision is impossible every time
#this is a lie sometimes i play ace attorney instead#but still. i am in hell#i want to watch a horror movie i want to see BLOOD i want to see SCARY STUFF. but watching a horror movie requires watching a movie.#which i have NOT had the fucking attention span for recently#im like 25 minutes into evil dead army of darkness and the other day i started scream 2#and i want to watch jennifers body so bad and also american psycho#and those are just the ones at the TOP of my list#like that new dracula movie??? the last voyage of the demeter??? that movie looks actually SCARY#which is GOOD i want to EXPERIENCE THAT.#most of the horror movies i want to watch arent really Scary or at least not the ones im planning on watching next#like i watched the conjuring and i was like... idk. like it FRIGHTENED me. i felt fear for sure and like it stuck with me for a WHILE and#i still cant think about it too too much before i go to sleep cause my brain will start convincing itself like ooooooh theres a person#behind the door oooooooh theres a woman on the ceiling or whatever#but very few times when watching it did i feel like. actively scared#but like i was in the theatre watching a different movie when i saw the TRAILER for the demeter. and i was scared.#and like idk if thats the type of horror movie i want?? but i want tp try it????#and just. UGH#i hate making decisions about how i want to spend my time its so hard
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just wanted to chime in and say (like the other anon) i also feel funky abt my mixed asian identity as a westerner. idk it’s weird being in the in-between spaces. i appreciate you talking abt it on the blog a little, makes me feel less like i’m the only one who feels that way
i'm glad i could help out, even if it was just a little :3
for real though, it didn't occur to me how much cringe i'd have to get over myself just to get into learning chinese and talking to other chinese people about being too american; i find that other asians who aren't born or raised western don't get it and probably find it weird that there is that guilty sentiment of not being 'asian enough,' but i think that in itself is a pretty unique experience worth discussing
#my mandarin and cantonese are abhorrent and i'm cringe but at least i can write a memoir about it if i wanted to (i'm joking of course)#i talked about this sentiment to people who are born and raised asian and they didn't get it which is really surprising but relieving#i think even then the general consensus is that you're still asian but even then it feels like the guilt or cringe is still there y'know??#i'm on a tangent but i think that's like really nice about asian-american/canadian representation#there's of course asian or foreign media and american media but there's something unique about being both that goes ignored#fresh off the boat has a lot of issues in terms of production and i wish it was more uncomfortable with asian american experiences but#i won't deny that it had a very good impact on a group of people that don't fit the western-eastern dichotomy that westerners built up#silence crab
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What especially gets me about class of 2013 is that line where mitski asks her mom to wash her back because that’s something my mom or sometimes my aunt used to do for me but that stopped after we moved back to the states from se asia….
#it’s also at that time that my relationship with my mom started getting rockier#(& when I realized I was not as cis as my mom sees me as)#idk I feel like that’s just a very asian or at the very least non-american experience#my alienation from my culture &c &c we’ve all seen me talk about this before#anyway. that + realizing that I’ll know what my immediate post-grad life will be like in 1-3 months is making this song hit harder 🫠
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