#this feels like a vent here but if you read at the end thanks??? haha

[vincentask]

Ooc: Weekly update again; for anyone wondering what happened and where is the update, and if the bww au is cancelled or if this ask is abandoned;

No, it’s not. I promise

I’ve just had a ton of irl things get in my way and burnout and also other fixations that caught my eye! I miss this blog tremendously and I really want to come back to this one day. I also realized that this au is pretty big than I thought it would?? XD Which I’m not complaining it’s just I’m trying to figure out how to plot it out and post it. (And plus!! I also have another chapter in the works as well! As well as a oneshot I’d like to post! But I do want to follow the plot and timing (and I’m also afraid it may give out spoilerssss!! But we’ll see!!) )

*scratches head* It does look like I did abandoned this blog as well ahahah.. and im incredibly sorry haha. But for people still following me, thank you so much for your support, kindness,and patience! I didn’t expected this to be much big than I’d plan but you loving Vincent and my soon-to-be-planned story means a whole lot to me, so thank you 💕

[synoicus]

Well, as many times as it takes, I guess

[rashomonss]

Hello! I was wondering if you could pair Simeon with the dumbification prompt for the Valentines Treat event 🥰 thank you for taking the time to read! I love your stories btw <3

hello hello!! so sorry I’m getting to your request so late! I planned on getting the valentines requests in a lot sooner but i ended up getting into a car accident and this past week was absolutely insane haha but i’m good now

but that’s besides the point! ofc you can and thank you sm! I’m so glad you enjoy my work, i hope you enjoy this, i enjoyed writing it. tbh I always love writing for simeon he’s one of my favs haha. anyway love ya! (♡ˊ͈ ꒳ ˋ͈)

Warning: NSFW (read at your own discretion) / gender neutral

“my cute little slut”

“What was that my love?” Simeon said with a smile.

No coherent response came from your lips, just moans and mewls of his name. Babbles or things here could be heard there as he made you finish for the hundredth time tonight.

Continuous tears fell from your eyes and you tried to think just how you got into this situation. However it was a bit difficult to think when Simeon’s cock was filling every inch of you.

“Shh it’s okay, don’t even try to bother with thinking love, I’ll just fuck all those thoughts out of your pretty little head.” Simeon smiled.

Though his voice did not match his pace whatsoever.

It was rough and deep, he made sure to hit all of your favorite spots and he practically knew your body like the back of his hand.

“Look at you, aw what a precious little thing for me. You’re taking me so well MC” Simeon said softly in your ear as his fingers worked at pinching and massaging your nipples. You were getting close, he could feel it.

It wasn’t that hard to not notice the way you would clench around his cock each time you came. Though he loved that about you. Your pretty little hole belonged to no one but him.

And, no one but him could make you feel this way.

No one but him could take away all your worries and leave you a dumb fucking babbling mess on his cock.

That was a luxury he alone had, and boy did he love it.

You had come to visit him early in the afternoon at Purgatory Hall. Luke and Solomon went out to buy dinner so Simeon was alone for a while.

Because of this you figured he was the best to vent to about your current troubles.

He understood from the moment he saw you that something was wrong, and when you explained to him how your week just continued to get worse he listened intently and gave the best advice he could.

However he also explained that he would be there for you in any way he could…and of course one thing led to another and next thing you knew you were naked on his bed with your face down in the pillow and your ass in the air.

Simon started out slow and steady making sure to tease you just a bit. He’d bring you close to an orgasm then stop and continue at a slow pace again.

After a good amount of time it drove you absolutely insane to the point you began squirming and begging him to just fuck your brains out.

So, ask and you shall receive.

Simeon wasn’t gentle in the slightest after you spoke. He grabbed your hips and roughly pounded into you until he was satisfied. You came at least twice before he finally finished in you.

That didn’t stop him though. After that he flipped you around on your back to face him and teased you as he continued to pound into you, filling you with his cock.

“You’re taking all of my cock in your tight hole so well, only I can make you feel this good huh love?” Simeon said with a chuckle.

You didn’t respond as he continued talking, all that left your mouth was moans of his name and how it was too much. He in turn noticed and began to slow down with each thrust until you noticed.

“-C”

“MC”

“MC are you listening to me?” Simeon asked with a teasing smirk, his voice now finally reaching you. He had been talking to you for a bit but you never responded so he finally stopped causing you to squirm and beg for him to move again.

“’m listening I swear” you cried out.

“Really what did I say then?” He chucked. His dick throbbed inside of you and you tried to move your hips for any type of friction since he refused to grant you any, but it was no use, Simeon just pinned down your hips with a smile.

When you didn’t respond he laughed and pulled completely out of you.

A whine was about to leave your mouth again as you were getting prepared to beg, but his cock returned inside you in less than a minute causing a gasp to leave your mouth instead; your back arched and your hips buckled into him as you came just from how deep and harsh he entered.

“You’re just a dumb little slut for my cock aren’t you?”

His words had you tightening around his dick in an instant. Out of everyone in the Devildom you never expected an angle to say something that dirty to you. It shocked you but you loved every moment of it, he could tell.

“Uh huh” you cried as you gripped the sheets beneath you.

“Who’s the only one who can make you feel this good?” He said, followed by another hard thrust.

“You” you cried softly.

“I can’t hear you love”

“You- AH…!”

Before you could even string together a sentence he made you come again. Fresh tears left your eyes as he rode you through your orgasm straight into another one.

“Don’t stress with anything else for today my love, just let me fuck you till all you can think about is me and me alone” Simeon said as another orgasm ripped through your body.

You didn’t bother answering him, besides you couldn’t even really understand what he was saying. Your mind went blank as he continued fucking you and even going so far as to whisper a few praises and a few degrading comments with each thrust.

Orgasm after orgasm he had you remember just who’s cock you were coming on.

After all his name should be the only thing you remember in that fucked out little head of yours.

[stylesispunk]

"The not so invisible string" part 5

Not outbreak! Joel Miller x F! Reader

previous chapter | next chapter | series masterlist

summary: you and Joel were made right for each other at the wrong time. Now, thirteen years later your paths crossed when both of your daughters get in trouble at school. Would be the right time for you now?

word count: 4k

warnings: angst, cheating, serious talk. "Doe" is her nickname. No proof reading haha

a/n: Hello! Here's chapter 5! I hope you like it, sorry for the all the wait, I've been dealing with some things. This one is more like a filler chapter and I'll be back with another one on Tuesday! Reblogs and comments are always appreciated. Happy reading 💌 Remember my dms and asks are always open for you

dividers by @/saradika.

It has already been a week since you found out about Dwight’s family, and since then, you have not spoken to him. He had sent messages and had been calling you, begging you to let him explain himself. But you ignore them; instead, you initiated the divorce process with a lawyer, and you were waiting for this chapter of your life to finally be over. Even when you couldn’t bear the feeling of something you touched becoming ashes again, how a shame it was for you to be an insignificant target to fool.

The truth was that Dwight was a source of light entering through your window at some point. The very first night you met him, he was a gentleman, and he treated you well until he stopped. However, the unfaithful path he had chosen for the both of you was something you could not forgive. Your marriage was ending like all the other love stories you were part of.

And that was one of the worst parts of being an adult: having to pick up the broken pieces of you by yourself, save them in your pocket, and continue with your life because it doesn’t matter how exhausted you are or not; you have to continue because you are a woman and no little child is allowed to cry anymore.

During all this week, you had been staying at Joel’s house. He reassured me that it was okay for him to sleep on the couch and insisted that you take the bed. Joel had been acting as a supportive friend throughout this difficult situation, offering a listening ear whenever you needed to vent and a shoulder to cry on, but still, the string pulling you together was burning in your finger, and for him, it seemed okay to pretend that the kiss you almost gave him didn’t happen.

As you lay in bed one night, staring up at the ceiling, thoughts of Dwight and the life you had envisioned together flooded your mind. You couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness and betrayal, but deep down, you knew that you deserved better than someone who couldn't stay faithful.

After all, you thought you deserved it. You had been physically faithful to him, but you always knew your heart belonged to Joel since the moment you met him, and loving a man while staying married to another was another type of treason. 

All wells end badly if they are built on lies.

"A penny for your thoughts?"

You almost dropped your cup of coffee when you heard Joel's voice saying your name.

"What?" You inquired, perplexed.

"I told you I'm leaving and taking the girls to school; are you coming?"

"No, I have to see Dwight in an hour," you said. Joel's face sank slightly at the mention of Dwight's name, as if poison had flowed from your lips. "You know, divorce things," you said somberly.

Joel nodded in agreement, although his expression revealed a tinge of anguish. "I understand," he replied softly. "Just remember, you don't have to go through this alone. I'm here for you, no matter what.

Touched by his constant support, you smiled gratefully. "Thank you, Joel. I sincerely appreciate everything you have done for me. And thank you for taking Tara to school."

As Joel gathered his belongings and prepared to go, you couldn't help but feel grateful for having him back in your life. Despite the distress you were experiencing, knowing you had someone like him by your side gave you the resilience to face whatever lay ahead.

With a deep breath, you prepared for the meeting with Dwight, reaffirming your courage and telling yourself that you deserved better than the pain he had caused you. And as you saw Joel leaving, you couldn't help but feel like the story was repeating itself, as if you weren't deserving of permanent love.

The mood at the lawyer's office, where you sat across from Dwight, was strained. The air seemed heavy with unspoken thoughts and repressed feelings. Dwight squirmed uneasily in his seat, avoiding your gaze and fidgeting with the papers in front of him.

You took a deep breath, ready for the talk that needed to take place. "Dwight," you said, your voice firm but laced with bitterness, "we both understand why we're here. "This marriage... is over."

Dwight finally caught your stare, and you could feel the guilt and regret in his eyes. "I know," he replied softly, just above a whisper. "I messed up, and I apologize. I don't expect you to forgive me, but just know that I didn't mean to hurt you."

Your heart was crushed at his words, but you knew forgiveness would never come. "Yeah, I bet you didn't mean to have a child with another woman," you responded, your tone strict. "But apologies are not going to fix the damage already done. We need to move forward with the divorce, and I want you to tell Tara about your child."

Dwight nodded, a sense of resignation washing over him. "I understand," he replied, his voice full of remorse. "I will sign any paper that is required and won't disagree with it. I only want you to be happy, even if it is without me."

As you left the lawyer's office, without saying a word to him, Dwight turned to you with an eager expression in his eyes. "Can I have Tara over for dinner tonight?" he requested cautiously. "I want to tell her the truth and start making amends."

You hesitated for a moment, considering your alternatives. Regardless of the hurt and betrayal, you believed Tara deserved to know the truth about her father. And perhaps, by confronting the truth together, you would be able to repair the wounds that have been done to your family.

You sighed and nodded, an overwhelming feeling of conviction coming over you. "Yes, Dwight," you replied gently. "You can have Tara over for tonight.

Dwight nodded, a thankful smile flashing over his lips. "Thank you," he replied genuinely. "I won't let you down."

"I don't trust you, and if you make my daughter cry, I will fucking kill you, Dwight." You spoke with a steely tone to emphasize the importance of your warning.

Dwight's smile faded as he gulped and nodded his head. "I know I've let you both down," he muttered gently, his expression gloomy. "But I swear, I'll do everything I can to make things right. "I love Tara and would never do anything to hurt her."

You kept his stare for a minute, looking for any sign of sincerity. You slowly nodded, accepting his words with cautious apprehension. "But you did," you responded, your tone softening slightly. "Tara deserves nothing less than your best. "You are her father; act like one."

Dwight nodded firmly; his expression full of purpose. "I won't let you down," he said, his voice full of tenacity.

With a final nod, you turned and walked away, an avalanche of emotions spinning inside you. While you couldn't ignore the pain and treachery he'd caused you, you couldn't resist the flicker of optimism washing over you.

"Hey, pretty lady, can you help me with something?" Tommy spoke while reaching over to your desk.

"What is it?" you asked, in an unnecessarily harsh tone, as Tommy lifted his gaze to meet the sadness in your eyes and laid his papers aside.

"Okay. What's wrong?" He asked, concerned.

"Nothing but a soon-to-be divorce," you responded, faking a smile as if you had said something amusing, but Tommy did not laugh or smile.

"What?" you asked. "Okay, I'm kind of stressed with some things."

"I'm sorry to hear that," he replied quietly, his voice full of sympathy. "If you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you."

You felt a rush of gratitude rush over you after Tommy's offer of support.

Despite the facade you had been trying to keep up, the weight of recent events had taken its toll, and it felt good to finally share your burden with someone else.

"Is it because of my brother, or not? What about his date tonight?"

"Joel has a date tonight." you said, your heart cracking slightly.

Tommy's face furrowed with worry as he noticed your reaction. "Yes, he mentioned it earlier. He said he was going out with someone he had recently met."

The news made your heart sink as a range of emotions swirled inside you. "Oh," was all you could say, attempting to cover up the twinge of pain that stabbed your chest.

Tommy sensed a shift in your attitude, and his expression softened with understanding. "I'm sorry, I thought you knew since you are staying at his house."

"It's okay, Tommy," you said, attempting a forced smile.

However, it was not okay.

Not long after that, Joel came to the office door, ready to go, and drew your attention with a glance around the room. Without saying anything, he gestured for Tommy to join him, and the two of them rushed toward the exit.

You couldn't help but feel a tinge of disappointment as you observed them leave together, a reminder that you'd also lost him along the way.

As they approached the door, Joel paused and returned his gaze to you, his face softening as he did so, and despite the hurt and confusion whirling inside you, you managed to muster a small, strained smile in response.

"See you later," Joel murmured, his tone tinged with concern.

You nodded in answer, attempting to cover up the chaos that was growing within you. "See you," you said, the words seeming flat on your tongue.

Joel and Tommy disappeared in just one glance, leaving you alone in the office with your thoughts.

Maybe it was time for you to move on, leave his house, and even leave this town.

As the night fell, you found yourself lost in your thoughts, the events of the day weighing heavily on your mind. The sound of the door opening pulled you from your reverie, and you looked up to see Joel entering the house.

"Hey," he greeted you, his voice warm but tinged with concern as he noticed the somber expression on your face. "How was your day?"

You forced a smile, trying to mask the turmoil brewing inside you. "It was alright," you replied vaguely, avoiding his gaze.

Joel furrowed his brows, sensing that something was amiss. "Where are the girls?”

“Uhm. Sarah is upstairs doing homework”

“And Tara?" he asked, his tone filled with curiosity.

You hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to respond. "She's at Dwight's," you finally admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

Joel's expression tensed slightly at the mention of Dwight's name, a flicker of emotion passing through his eyes before he composed himself. "Oh," was all he said, his voice neutral.

A heavy silence settled between you, the weight of unspoken words hanging in the air. Sensing the tension, you took a deep breath and decided to break the silence.

"So, uh, how was your date?" you asked, trying to sound casual despite the knot of jealousy tightening in your chest.

Joel's brows furrowed in confusion, his eyes searching yours for any hint of jest. "Date?" he echoed; his voice tinged with surprise.

Your heart sank at his reaction, realizing that perhaps you had misunderstood or misheard earlier. "Yeah, Tommy mentioned it,” you explained, trying to keep your tone light despite the growing unease in your stomach.

As you mentioned Tommy's observation, Joel's expression softened, understanding dawning in his eyes. “There was no date; I was actually still working at this dude’s house.”

“Then why did he? you began.

“Were you jealous?” he interrupted

You paused, caught off guard by Joel's interruption. The question hung in the air, heavy with implications. Your heart raced as you considered how to respond, unsure whether to admit the truth or deflect his inquiry.

"I... I don't know," you finally admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Would it be bad? I mean, would it be that bad for me to have a date?” he teased, smirking at you.

Joel's teasing tone caught you off guard, and you felt a range of emotions rushing up inside you. Part of you wanted to dismiss his inquiry with a casual reply, while another part wanted to express how sensitive you are and hurt.

"Maybe" you said, your voice tinged with sorrow.

Joel's humorous tone faded when he understood the importance of his words. He reached out and gently grabbed your hand, and you automatically retreated, feeling a flash of weakness and uneasiness. His gaze shifted, and his eyes showed fear.

"I think that it's better if I go to stay at my parents' house." You said, a lump developing in your throat as you battled to hold back your tears.

"I think it's better if I go to stay at my parents' house." You announced, a lump growing in your throat as you tried to hold back tears. "I just... I need some space right now," you explained, your voice trembling with passion. "I need time to think about my feelings and figure things out."

He chuckled gently. "I think you're being dramatic." Joel's giggle broke the tension, leaving you taken aback and irritated. The lump in your throat became bigger as tears welled up in your eyes, and your heart ached from the burden of his words.

"You don't understand," you exclaimed, your voice shaking with emotion.

"Then make me!" he exclaimed. "I thought you were going to be happier without him, but it seems like you're just a gosht."

"Oh my god, I'm sorry for being sad over the fact that the man I was married to for the last years of my life built another family behind my back as if I were nothing!"

"Dwight doesn't deserve you; he never did," Joel said.

As Joel's remarks hung in the air, a tight silence fell over the room, interrupted only by the sound of your heavy breathing. His attempts to lighten the situation had only deepened the wound in your heart, leaving you feeling even more alone and misunderstood than before.

The tears that had been threatening to spill over finally let loose, running down your cheeks in silent streams as you battled to control yourself. Joel's words were like a punch in the face, a burning reminder of the treason and heartache you'd experienced at Dwight's hands.

"Oh, and who deserves me then?" You said, "Tell me; I want to know."

Joel just stated, "Someone better,” deep down knowing it was him.

"Like you?" you questioned.

"You can trust me," he reassured.

"No, I can't because I don't know you!" you stated.

"I'm the same Joel you met," he said back, trying to stop the storm from coming between you both.

"The one who became a ghost or broke my heart? Which one?" you demanded, tears welling up in your eyes.

"Look, I understand you are afraid of things, but if you think I'm going to say I wish I could get back in time and regret having my daughter for one second, you're crazy." He merely pointed out,

You chuckled as tears flowed down your cheeks. You tried to wipe them away, attempting to remain calm as you stared at Joel, hoping for some form of understanding.

"I never wanted you to regret having Sarah," you replied quietly, your voice tinged with sadness. “I know she's the best thing that ever happened to you.”

Joel's face softened in reaction to your words, with an instant of guilt running through his eyes as he saw the pain on your face. He reached out carefully, his hand gliding in the air between you as a silent gesture of comfort and understanding.

As Joel's palm finally touched yours, a sense of warmth and connection poured over you, spanning the gap that had threatened to separate you. In that moment, you sensed a glimmer of joy and a fresh belief in the possibilities of mending and healing.

"I know," Joel said quietly, his voice full of honesty. "And I am grateful for her every day. But that doesn't change how I feel about you or us. He paused. "Actually, there's something I need to confess." 

"What do you mean?" you inquired, your tone barely above a whisper.

Joel took a long breath, his gaze never leaving yours as he began speaking. "Do you remember those nights I was working late? I wasn't only working, Doe. I was saving money."

Confusion flared in your eyes as you attempted to process his words. "Save money? For what?"

"For a ring," Joel said, his voice full of remorse and vulnerability. "I was planning to propose to you."

The air in your lungs became still as Joel's words sank in. Joel had kept this secret from you all these years, while you were struggling with self-esteem issues.

Tears welled in your eyes. "Did you buy before I left that night we broke?" you whispered, your voice thick with emotion.

He nodded. "I wanted everything to be perfect," Joel confessed, his eyes filled with grief. "But then... things got complicated." "And I thought... I thought I had lost my chance with you." 

"But you let me go," you stated, sounding weak due to the weight of your words, heavy with the distress of the past.

Joel's face softened, and his eyes reflected the grief that filled his heart. "I know, and I'll always regret that," he said, his voice tinged with sadness.

His eyebrows seemed to furrow with remorse as he took a look at your intense stare. "I was a coward," he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. "I let my fear control me, and in doing so, I lost the most important thing I had in my life."

The vulnerability in Joel's admission resonated with the ache in your own heart. For years, you had carried the weight of his absence, wondering what could have been if only he had been brave enough to fight for you.

"I should have fought for us," Joel continued, his gaze locked with yours. "But I was too afraid of losing you, so I let you slip away."

“I need space, Joel,” you said. “And I deserve to be loved, so I’m not going to follow you or anybody else unless you show me that.”

Joel's shoulders sagged with the weight of your words, his eyes reflecting a mixture of regret and understanding. "I understand," he whispered, his voice heavy with remorse. "You deserve to be loved, and I've failed you in that regard."

As you spoke, a sense of clarity washed over you, a realization that you owed it to yourself to prioritize your own healing and well-being. You had spent too long waiting for someone else to validate your worth, and now you were ready to take control your choices.

"I won't ask you to follow me," Joel replied, his tone filled with resignation. "But I hope that someday I can show you the love and respect you deserve."

As you walked downstairs, the weight of your decision weighed heavily on your shoulders. Each step seemed like a bitter reminder of the past and an uncertain future. But with every stride, you felt a fresh resolution grow within you—a drive to reclaim control of your own life.

When you reached the bottom of the steps, you paused to collect your thoughts before heading toward the door. The sound of your footsteps echoed in the still room, providing an abrupt contrast to the turbulent emotions racing within you.

However, as you reached for the doorknob, a voice stopped you in your tracks.

"Doe, wait."

You turned to see Joel standing in the doorway, his expression full of anguish.

You turned to see Joel standing in the doorway, his expression full of anguish. His eyes pleaded with you, silently begging for the opportunity to set things right.

"I need to go," you replied, just above a whisper. "I cannot stay here, Joel."

Joel took a step closer, his eyes never leaving yours. "I understand," he replied, his voice tinged with regret. "You need space, but I have to tell you this before."

You hesitated, divided between the urge to leave and the need to hear Joel's words. With a disturbed heart, you nodded, quietly encouraging him to speak.

"I made a mistake that night," Joel said, his voice shaking with emotion. "I should've fought for you, Doe. I should have told you how much you meant to me instead of letting you leave."

You broke down in tears when you heard Joel's confession. For years, you had felt the weight of his absence, wondering if things could have turned out differently if he had been brave enough to fight for you.

"I'm sorry," Joel said quietly, his voice barely audible. "I'm so sorry for letting you go." He breathed in. "So that's why I'm doing this now."

“What?” you asked.

You furrowed your brow, attempting to make sense of his captivating comment. Before you could utter another word, Joel closed the distance between you, his movements swift yet gentle.

In an instant, his lips touched yours in a delicate kiss—a muttered plea for forgiveness and a promise of reconciliation. The world around you appeared to fade away as the warmth of his touch embraced you, washing away the layers of doubt and uncertainty that had tortured your heart for so long.

Joel knew words weren’t enough for you right now, and this swift action was the only way he found to pour and show all the love and promises he couldn’t save those years, being sealed in this very right moment.

Not letting you go this time was his first attempt to bring you back and offer you the life and love you deserved.

For a little moment, time stood still, and all that mattered was what you shared with Joel—a bond that transcended through the years.

Joel pulled away, his gaze fixed on yours, looking for any sign of recognition. His breath merged with yours, stealing what he believed was his. A silent exchange of emotions spoke volumes without the use of words.

"I can't let you go," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "Not again, please stay with me," he pleaded, holding your face with his hands. 

Joel's words lingered heavily in the air, echoing his desperation and need. You noticed a genuine desperation in his request, one that mirrored your own. You had ached for reassurance of his love for so long, and now as he stood before you, baring his soul, you couldn't resist the pull of your heart toward him.

"I don't want to leave," you said, just above a whisper. "But I need to know that this time is different, Joel. I need to know if you are willing to fight for us."

Joel nodded; his eyes full of purpose. "I am," he declared, his voice filled with passion. "I'll do whatever it takes to make things right between us, to prove to you that you're the one I want, now and always."

Tears welled up in your eyes as you met Joel's soulful gaze and noticed the depth of his love and honesty reflected in you. You lifted your hand while taking in the warmth of his face under your fingertips.

Feeling the warmth of Joel's touch under your fingertips, you took a deep breath, trying to steady the whirlwind of emotions swirling within you. Despite the overwhelming rush of love and longing, you knew that you needed time to process everything that had happened—to settle the chaos in your heart and mind.

"I need time," you admitted, your voice trembling slightly with emotion. "Time to process everything that's happened, time to heal, and time to figure out what I want."

Joel's expression softened, and his gaze filled with understanding. "I understand," he said softly, his voice a soothing balm to your frazzled nerves. "Take all the time you need, baby. I'll be here waiting for you, I promise.”

Sarah

 “Guys, it worked! They talked things out!”

Tara

No way! Seriously?

Tommy

So, my lie worked? What happened?

Sarah

They kissed! My dad is over the moon!

Tara

 OMG, really?! I can't believe it!

Tommy

Wow, I didn't think our little plan would actually work.

Sarah

We just needed to give them a little push.

Tommy

We? I lied for you little girls.

Tara

I'm so happy for them. They belong together.

Tommy

Yeah, they do. Let's just hope they figure things out soon.

tags 💌: @joeldjarin @missladym1981 @yomiyasxx @aliengirl99 @lola8888673 @nottodaysattan @picketniffler @violinchick @sadgirlcheesecake @caitlynsixxx @luvwanda @sarahhxx03

[itsbeeble]

Forever and Always

Summary: Kim Mingyu promised to love you forever and always. Why does it feel like that is no longer true?

Genre: angst, lovers to ???

Pairing: Kim Mingyu x gn!reader

WC: 1.5k

Series Masterlist

WARNINGS UNDER CUT

Warnings: hurt no comfort, Mingyu is just cruel in this, idk man they're arguing (mostly mingyu though), this relationship is lowkey toxic actually, reader flinches a lot but not bc she's scared of mingyu

Listen to Forever and Always by Taylor Swift for full effect

A/N: hahaha....haha.....ha.... ANYWAY THANK YOU FAWN FOR BETA READING THIS ILY POOKIE

You’re just finishing dinner when Mingyu walks in the door. Your back is turned at first, already prepping his plate, so you don’t see the exhaustion and the frustration weighing on his large frame when he first walks in. You don’t see the tick in his jaw when he lays his eyes on you, see the annoyance when you finish plating his dinner.  

“I thought you’d be home later,” you turn around to face Mingyu, a warm smile on your face when you approach the table next to him. The food you’ve made smells delicious, but Mingyu ignores that. “I’m glad you’re here now, though.  

Forever and always, right? 

“Can I just...” Mingyu exhales heavily. “I’d like to settle in before we eat, please.” You look at him,  still smiling.  

“Of course! I’ll wait for you-” 

“Don’t wait for me.” His voice comes out harsher than he wants it to and you flinch a bit. “I just...just eat.” 

“But I thought... I just thought we could eat together tonight.” Your voice isn’t quite disappointed, but it’s enough for the last of Mingyu’s patience to fly out the door.  

Forever and always.

~ 

You don’t know how long the argument has been going on. You don’t know how long Mingyu’s been yelling, how long you’ve been trying to voice your defense. Your face is burning from the humiliation of the whole situation, and your body shaking but not with anger.  

"I already told you that I just want to be left alone,” Mingyu speaks through gritted teeth, standing across the room from you. You can hear the rain pounding outside, and you do your best to use it to calm your mind. You’re backed into the corner of the kitchen, eyes wide and teary although your face is dry. You don’t know if you’re shocked, or if you just can’t bring yourself to cry around the man you’d been in love with for the past six years.  

Six years. 

You’d been together for six years and never have you seen your lover, the man you’d promised to love forever and always, this angry.  

“Mingyu, I just want you to eat something,” your voice is trembling and quiet, and you don’t think he hears you.  

“All you do,” he takes a step closer, grabbing the edge of the counter and keeping himself there. He doesn’t move any closer to you than he already is. “Is fucking nag me. All you do is whine about how long your day was, how long it took to cook dinner, to buy groceries. You never fucking stop to really look at me, do you? You never fucking stop to think about how tired I am at the end of the day, and how maybe I just want to be left alone for once. Do you ever stop to think about how fucking annoying you are?”  

Forever and always 

Forever and always 

Forever and always 

Forever 

Always 

Please stop 

Your hands are shaking, sweating, and you lower your gaze to the floor. You can’t even tell if Mingyu is talking to you anymore. Can’t tell if he’s just yelling at this point, venting, waiting for you to break. 

“All I want is just five fucking minutes of peace, but you can’t even give me that, can you? God, you’re fucking useless.”  

Oh. 

~ 

Mingyu doesn’t snap out of it until he hears the front door slam. He doesn’t snap out of it until he sees that you’re gone, your apartment keys still hanging next to the door. It’s oddly quiet now, and he takes a second to breathe. Takes a second to gather his thoughts, and then the full weight of what he just did hits him like a freight train.  

Useless 

Annoying 

Nag

His phone sits in front of him, and he stares at it. The screen is black, and when he turns it on there are no notifications. He has half a mind to call you, to tell you to come back and that he’s sorry. That he doesn’t know why he yelled at you like that, and it isn’t your fault. He wants to call you, to tell you he loves you forever and always.  

The phone remains on the counter, eventually powering off while Mingyu walks to your shared bedroom to lie down. 

Forever and always, he supposed, didn’t always mean forever and always. 

~ 

The rain is relentless, pounding against your skin, soaking you to the bone. Your hair clings to your face, to the back of your neck, and to your shirt. It’s almost ironic how similar it is to the night you met Kim Mingyu. 

It had been a Tuesday, you think, during your senior year of college. You’d forgotten your umbrella and were standing just outside the door of the university library. It was cold and wet, and your body was shaking just as it is now. Mingyu had approached you, and at first, you’d tried to ignore the way he stood next to you. He’d been hesitant, unsure of what to say. 

Do you wanna share my umbrella? 

You’d laughed at that. Of course you laughed. 

How are we both gonna fit under there?

He’d flashed you a crooked smile, holding his arm out to link with yours.  

A risk we’ll have to take if we wanna catch the last bus. You’d smiled back at him. 

Promise you won’t take off without me? 

He had hesitated and you’d punched him. He had laughed. God you were so addicted to hearing that laugh. 

I promise. Another smile, and the corners of his eyes lift. Forever and always. Your nose had scrunched at the statement.  

Awfully bold of you to say to someone you just met. 

I’m a bold person.

Tonight, however, there is no umbrella. There is no Mingyu with his awkward, clumsy steps. There is now laughing as the two of you run to the bus stop. No introductions, no joyous exchanges of phone numbers.  

Phone.

You’d forgotten your phone. Patting the pockets of your pants, you huff. Keys too. Did Mingyu know? Was he waiting for you? Did he care? 

You were sitting on a bench at the bus stop. Rain pelts the glass surrounding you, and you let your body curl in on itself. It’s a miracle you haven’t cried. Maybe your body is too cold- too numb to cry.  

What happened to forever and always? 

~ 

You keep your head down when you knock on the door of your apartment. You’re soaked to the bone, your body still shaking from the argument and the cold of the rain. You wish you’d remembered to grab your keys, but you weren’t exactly worried about coming back when you’d left your home.  

The lock clicks, and your body jolts. The inside of your apartment is warm, you can feel the heat even from the doorway. You can see Mingyu in front of you, but you keep your gaze on the ground. You can’t bear to look at your lover, not when the mental wounds the argument left on you are still open and bleeding.  

Mingyu sighs, and steps to the side so you can enter your apartment. He doesn’t say anything, and neither do you. It’s agonizing, the walk through the kitchen where he’d been screaming at you just a few hours ago. It’s agonizing walking into your bedroom, knowing he’s trailing behind you and refusing to say anything.  

“I put your dinner in the fridge.” Mingyu is sitting on your bed, watching you but making no moves to help you. He doesn’t ask where you were or if you’re alright and the longer he stays quiet, the more you begin to hate him.  

Something soft and warm touches your shoulders, and you can’t help but curl into it. A blanket, colored with different shades of red. A blanket you’d made years ago and given to Mingyu as a gift. Your hand goes tight around its edge, drawing it tighter around your body. Mingyu’s hand lingers on your back, hesitant as if he wants to speak but doesn’t know what to say.  

“I’m sleeping in the spare room.” You announce, and Mingyu’s hand drops from your back. 

“You’re not even- we're not even going to talk about this?” You turn your head, your soaked body still shaking from the cold. Or maybe from the fight. Maybe both.  

“What’s there to talk about?” You press, the lack of emotion in your voice startling your lover. “You’ve clearly made up your mind about us. About me.”  

Mingyu gnaws on his lip, and you stand there patiently.  

“You know I didn’t mean that, Y/N.” 

“Do I?” Your head tilts. “I thought I...I thought that you cared about me, Gyu.”  

It’s his turn to flinch. 

“I do. I swear I do.” You don’t respond this time. Your back is turned to him again, and you hear a shuddering breath escape him. “Y/N, please look at me.”  

You don’t.  

Mingyu touches your shoulder.  

You step away. 

His hand drops.  

“We’ll talk tomorrow, Mingyu.”  

“Promise?”  

The door to the guest room shuts, and the apartment is quiet once more. A crack of thunder, a sob muffled behind a hand. 

I’m sorry

~

TAGLIST: @juyeonszn @leejihoonownsmyheart

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Weekend all :) First off sorry I forgot to thank everyone last ep. My Chris rage was immense so it knocked me off kilter haha So thank you all for reading ❤️ We’ve hit another fav on my list. The dance alone makes this episode amazing. It’s also the things leading up to it that are also great. This definitely has the why aren’t you together moment? Excited to cover their iconic dance. Let’s get going.

4x18 Backstabbers

We begin with Tim telling Lucy they're not riding together. That she's with Nolan and he's with Aaron today. I love Lucy’s little nose scrunch. Clearly not happy she has to ride with someone else for her shift. Riding with Nolan wasn’t on her list of things she wanted to do today and it shows. I can't get over her dislike of being separated from him for the day. I do love her sassy reply though. Can’t let him know not riding with him bums her out.

Also we all know he would rather be riding with her as well. But you know neither of them can admit as such. Because god forbid we do that eh? So they bury their feelings in their banter per usual. Definitely got that old married couple energy going on here. The sassy eyebrow pump she does is so cute. Tim is gonna miss her we all know it haha We also get that Tall/Smol shot I love so much as well. Always happy to get one of those.

They pass Webb on their way to the kit room. He tells Tim what a good job he did on the Stewart case. Lucy is smiling then putting things together. Saying isn’t she the one who solved it? The one who made the connection? Also that she got punched in the face while arresting him...

Tim cutely says ‘You’re jealous.’ Clearly amused by this reaction of her's. Then goes on a classic Tim rant. Asking if that’s why she does this job? For high fives from Webb? We all know that’s not what she’s asking for here Timothy. Lucy tells him it would be nice to have some recognition. It is part of the reason she took being his side. Amongst other reasons….

He then does what he thinks she wants and it backfires. Pretty badly. This isn’t what she meant by recognition. I do love him winking at her while he’s explaining it to Webb. Saying how he couldn’t have solved it without her. All it does it make Tim look even better. Because Webb just continues to praise Tim. He can't possibly think that's what she wanted LOL Now it looks like he is being selfless and sharing credit.

Lucy’s reaction is hilarious when he asks her if she feels better? Cleary not Timothy... She is still pissed because this is after the fact. She wanted the recognition when the case happened. Not after when Tim’s name was already the arresting officer. It's not the same thing. Oh my love you aren’t getting what’s she’s throwing down right now ha Her body language and facial expression expressing her discontent with him.

Aaron joins them and makes the worst decision he could. Kissing Tim’s ass. Idk why he would think this was a good idea. Especially after riding with the female version of Tim LOL Tim is straight forward with Aaron. Tells him to not kiss ass and set up the shop. He turns to Lucy looking for advice. Wisdom of any kind. She is the Tim dictionary after all. No one better to go to about this man.

Unfortunately she is too caught up in own thing to dispense anything helpful. Just goes off on a rant about credit. How he shouldn't let Tim just steal it from him. Poor Aaron is like 'uhhh but I’m a rookie…so that is not helpful at all' ha I love her pout and restlessness as the scene ends. Lucy is so salty and needs to vent. Aaron is not your guy for that sadly.

We catch up to Lucy full on ranting to Nolan about Tim. Telling him it’s not even about the recognition. I mean…it kinda is ha She continues on saying how every single case file has Tim’s name on it. How she’s the one filing all the reports for it. She asks Nolan how she’s supposed to take on more responsibility if no one knows what she’s capable of? Nolan being the dope he is tries to get factual on her. *sigh* John this is why you are just friends LOL You clueless dope.

Asking her 'Wasn’t riding with Tim her idea?' Lucy says yes cause he takes on all the high profile cases. Which is huge for her. Nolan adds in that she is seeing a down side to that now? She nods and he continues to put his foot in his mouth cause Nolan. Saying she should just get reassigned then. Tim would understand. (I don’t know he would...) Also that's not what she wants at all. She was upset they weren't riding for one day together. So there's no way she's walking away from being his aide.

Nolan is being such a man right now. Trying to solve her problems when she just wants to vent. To hear ‘yeah that sucks .’ Or ‘Tim should give you credit’ I love her calling him out on it. Like listen John you are here to listen not problem solve haha Luckily he does as such and repeats back that Tim is the "worst" (I mean he’s not she just stupid frustrated with her work hubby ha). Lucy’s cute little smile after he does is adorable. Like good boy Nolan. ha

We flit back to Tim and Aaron. He tells Tim he’s ready for any test he wants to throw his way. Tim says that’s why he’s not going to. That Harper is a great T.O. (Look how far we’ve come since s2. My heart.) He’s been on the job long enough he doesn't need them. He lets Aaron know today isn’t about if he will make it. It’s about what kind of officer he will become when he does.

Aaron asks Tim how they’re gonna find that out? Tim says by figuring out his superpower. He starts to list everyone’s. He’s spot on for Harper and of course for his girl. I mean her empathy is one of her biggest strengths. She is very good at adapting to any situation. I mean her biggest adaption was Tim at first. Hehe It is her superpower no doubt.

He then says Nolan talks a lot LMAO Aaron isn’t disagreeing….I love Tim’s answer to his follow up question. That if he doesn’t have one he’ll be Smitty Haha Aaron looking nervous and feeling like this is still a Tim test somehow…I mean it is. Just a character based one. Which is pretty damn important to Tim Bradford. So...you should be nervous. lol

This next portion for Tim and Aaron is hilarious. They’re called to a guy magnet fishing. He tells them he found something strange. It’s a sword. Aaron mentions a murder that involved decapitation recently. Tim tells the man they’ll need to take it. He looks bummed but says at least he can get money on something else.

Aaron panics and levels Tim. Knocks him to the ground immediately. Poor Tim and his back issues. I have those now it hurts to watch him tackle him to the ground like that. Tim makes a crack saying 'Clearly being able to identify fake grenades is not his super power.' LOL Aaron makes a face and we see Tim’s back covered in goose crap hahaha Oh Aaron is bombing left and right.

They're back in the shop and Tim is eating his potential super powers for breakfast. Kudos to Aaron for suggesting more and more though. Except Tim is destroying every single of one of them…It’s so funny to watch. I mean it’s not funny for poor Aaron LOL Just more proof no challenges him like Lucy. Truly no one can match what she brings to their dynamic. You know Tim feels it when she’s absent. So he is just mowing down Aaron in the process haha poor guy. I do love Aaron though. He’s such a goober and it shows through out the rest of this season and into the next. He was a great addition to the cast.

Tim and Aaron respond to domestic call. This man just got paroled and wants to see his son. His ex is fighting him saying he can't be anywhere near them. Tim takes the man's ID to run him and Aaron asks to talk to the man. He does a good job calming him down with his own experience. Tells him I’m sure he’s dreamt of this moment for years.

He’s also sure this wasn’t how he expected it to go down. That he needs to remember it’s been years for them. They've been living their lives while he was gone. So they might not be ready but someday they might. Gives him his card and the number for James if he needs it. They can help him get back on his feet when he's ready for it. Tim walks up and tells him good job. Finally got one right. Yay Aaron.

Tim walks up to Aaron at the wedding reception to discuss his super power. Wanting to make sure he knows what it is. He's been searching for their entire time together. Tim tells him that it’s experience with being incarcerated. Clearly he has a connection to those that have been in prison. That empathy and compassion is what he can build his career on. Gah I love when he’s in teaching mode. Fine af. *fans self* Teach away sexy. This scene ends with funny bit about the park moment haha I enjoyed them together a lot.

This next moment is an all time fav of mine. Tim surprising Lucy not once but twice with his actions. First off by bringing up that dance he 'owes' her from 3x14. You know Tim kinda made the first move with her more than once before they were together. 3x14 being one and this being another. He’s the one to bring the dance back up. A dance I’m sure she never expected him to bring back up. We all know he wanted to dance with her and this was his sly way of doing that. So he uses the guise of saying it's still owed to her.

Tim ‘I don’t do weddings’ Bradford wants to dance with his girl. This is his way of getting that but still being himself about it. Acting like he has to do this. When I’m sure that dance has been on his mind on and off since that moment happened. We see right through you Timothy but it's ok hehe The absolute sass from Lucy is on par for her. Always toe to toe with him. She too is excited he’s cashing this in. You can tell she is happy he remembered this dance. A debt was owed hehe Tim making a face but you know he loves it. She is his equal in so many ways but especially for banter. Tells him like it is and he keeps coming back for more.

Ahhh these two idiots in love. Looks at this man when she takes his hand. That is his full blown Lucy smile. That 'I’m a goner for this woman and would do anything for her.' smile. She is the only one who brings that out in him. He’s so love with her at this point you’d have to be blind not to see it. He lights up when she takes his hand and makes a classic Lucy expression at him. You could power a city with that smile of his. The way they walk onto the dance floor you'd think they were each others date to this party.

Harper’s daughter earlier said she liked her mom with James. Noting that ‘You’re happy when you’re around him.’ These two are never happier than when they are around each other. Their true self’s come out and they are radiating joy. Look at those two above. They are carefree and light as a feather in this moment. Projecting heart eyes as far as the eye can see. You’re never gonna see them be this way with their current SO’s. They don’t bring out the best in them. Anyone around them can see they’re gone for one another. Except them….

Tim is heart eyes galore for his girl from the minute they hit the dance floor. Lucy is flying pretty high herself. Look at the way she is looking at him in that first gif. Transparent as ever at hiding her feelings for him. Tim starts off with the thing he knows is bugging her. He didn’t spend the day with her but he knows her. Knows it ate at her all day long. He also knows it's something he needs to rectify.

Lucy has simmered down at this point about it. It’s evident in her reply to him. Tim forges forward anyways. I do want to note the eye contact between these two. It never breaks as they speak to each other. It's so intimate. I love him gesticulating his fingers around her hand. Re-wrapping them around hers as he explains himself. It's a cute fidgety thing he does while trying to get what he needs to say out. It's the little things I love so much .

He starts out STRONG complimenting her. Not only complimenting her but saying she is in the top 5 he’s ever trained.(Psst. She was the best one.) No better praise she could receive in this moment than that. Lucy being Lucy has to make a joke. She craves his praise but also can’t handle it at the same time. I feel that girl I’m the same way. Tim is looking down at her with massive heart eyes might I add. Saying he wants her to have a successful career.

He wants to support her career the way she’s always supported his. No hesitation and putting her first. Look at the way she is beaming up at him when he says this. The way she's searching his face as he speaks. Gah how do these two not know they’re in love? Honestly. She looks so enamored with him as he’s talking. Their smiles and heart eyes are so loud. They’re screaming how they feel to the entire party.

Tim shocks her even further with his next set of comments. Lucy is already on cloud 9 as is. He’s asked her to dance, he’s complimented her in the best way and said he wants her career to be successful. She is in serious shock when he tells her he’s listing her on all future reports as the arresting officer. Lucy is in awe of this man right now. Not only for doing this but for how he’s grown. As a person and as a sergeant.

For him to step aside like this and give her the glory. To put her career ahead of his so she can succeed. The way she says ‘But you’re senior officer.’ Reminds me of her in 5x12 being in the same amount of disbelief replying ‘But that’s a desk job….’ Lucy can’t believe what he’s giving her and putting aside. He finishes it off with his version of I love you at this point. Saying she deserves to be recognized. What he's also saying is she deserves to be recognized by him. He's so damn soft in the delivery of his words. His body language also as relaxed as we've ever seen it.

The way he looks at her while he says this. Be still my heart. Screaming his feelings in this moment without realizing. Showing Lucy he hears her and has done something about it. That he cares, wants her to be a success, and that he’s putting her first just like she always has done for him. Lucy is sassy in her retort because she can be. (Ain’t no one else talking to this man the way she does) She is looking up at him with the same amount of affection he's shooting her way. Telling him 'You’re right I do. Thank you.' haha Look at her. She’s saying I love you right back in this moment. *sigh* These two.

Everything about this moment makes me squee. The non stop romantic looks they’re throwing each others way. The way they’re gazing into each other eyes the entire time. Forgetting everyone else there and the fact that they can see this love fest. Then comes the cutest most carefree part. Look at the smiles on these two! They’re so gone for each other at this point. I imagine this would be similar to how they’ll dance at Nolan’s wedding. With a little more closeness and kisses ha

Seriously though. Have we ever seen Tim this happy and relaxed? Only when he’s with her. It’s oozing out of him in S4. The laughing, the smiles, Lucy complimenting his moves. That glorious smile of his when she does. Be more in love you two. If someone just saw these gifs no context. They’d think they were a couple in love having the time of their lives on the dance floor. It’s hard to believe they were dating other people at this point. I mean look at this scene. They look so damn happy together. Truly just enjoying one another’s company.

Lucy is beaming with happiness when he spins her around. How he leans into her as he spins her around. Her laughter as she leans into him after he does. My heart is gonna implode from the cuteness everyone haha There’s a reason it’s one of my all time fav moments. It’s so sweet Imma get diabetic. Such a good episode I cannot. One of my favs of the season. For this moment alone right here. *sigh* I love them. Moments like this I knew were cementing them for s5. Slow burn at its finest.

~~~~

Side notes- non Chenford

James and Nyla ❤️

Grey, Wes and James making the video while Silas critiques them is hilarious. Makes me laugh everytime cause they’re so bad LOL

Thank you again to everyone. You all are the best for your continued support. The likes, comments and reblogs are everything to me see you all in 4x19 :)

[otokowrecker]

Freed from this unholy sophistry

It's done. My Death Mark longfic, Victims to an Unholy Sophistry, is finally finished!! This is a kinda vent post cuz I needa spew but also a appreciation post! Haha!

Ough. Two years. VUS took me two years to finish and that extended time really made me sour towards it. Plus, I have the instant reflex to hate anything I make, haha!

But unfortunately for VUS, it was being written during the worst part of my life so far - a lot has happened in my life during this time - moving into my own place, forcing myself to be more social, family issues and mainly the BIGGGG continual mental spiral - those things being some of reasons it took so long to finish! But because it is tied to this time in my life I can't bring myself to love it. Right now I’m panicking that I didn't do the ending the Justice the Lonely who started writing it wanted. So I'm sorry, past Lonely. I still feel that Rainwater Coffee is my favourite work, even though VUS had themes which I love.

My inspiration for VUS was the manga Sleeping Dead, which I love! The ending was so powerful and beautiful, portrayed so well, I felt empty once it was finished!

But as I said in my author's notes, I am super, super grateful to all the fishes that gave VUS a chance and stuck around!! It means the whole ocean to me!! Despite that being their job, words can't express the gratitude I feel to anyone who checks out my works!! ❤️ I do have a shorter sequel planned for VUS, only because I wanna use a certain guy as an antagonist! (I'm easy to read, you know who it is!) but I want to get other works out of the way, first!!

So again, thank you so, so much if you read VUS and liked it! Knowing that it gave a handful of people some enjoyment is enough for me! ❤️

As a fun bonus, here's the only physical reference for Lady and Mister I have from a while back. I hate having to design clothing, the whole fic everyone just had basic long robe/cloak get-ups when I was thinking about scenes, even though in my head I pictured certain characters having more detailed clothing!

They were a fun duo, weird siblings Vs normal siblings, haha! They're just big fans of the Kujou family, lol!

[star-writez]

!!! heyy can I request some lackadaisy Mordecai and platonic reader angst headcanons?? maybe one particular day got really bad for mordecai and it pushed him off the edge so now he's just dealing with the thing that upset him at hand, but in the end it got worse so now he's just trying not to cry, but then the reader tries to help him calm down?

love me some angst for my tuxedo killer cat haha

(So today I actually felt like writing so enjoy lol)

-right away you could tell something was wrong-

-which is weird cause he’s very good at masking his feelings-

-if you ask him what’s wrong he will get annoyed or will say everything is ok-

-but after awhile and a lot of asking he will finally tell you-

-he doesn’t like to be touched so you can’t comfort him with a hug or anything-

-he will vent a littler to you-

-doesn’t want to get too close to you cause he’s scared you will betray him or worse-

-after a while will finally accept your comfort-

-your probably the only cat he has actually opened up to and felt comfortable around in awhile-

(Idc what else to put here but thanks for reading!)

[maiyuyuns]

i think its about time i did one.. so.. [pinned]

— 𓄷 as you know, i go by es, he / they + 16. trans demi-boy! this is a milgram only (main)blog. UTC +8:00. i take doodles and writing requests, and random stuff, request rules will be added when made! ꒱

៹ ៸៸ basic — a really big es lover, i write and i also do art here while the rest of my posts are usually random rambles. i usually prefer people reaching out first than i do.

* if you want to be moots, do let me know! i dont bite at all, im actually looking for moots but idk how to. haha..-? if you need tone tags, please let me know!

disclaimer — i tend to talk/interact a lot, suspected auadhd but currently undiagnosed! also usually not caught up with trending or new stuff/drama, so if i am missing out do let me know if needed. much appreciated actually!

* despite being on tumblr for months; im still new to it. amazing right/s, so apologies if i do something wrong, do correct me please.

if i do make you uncomfy or offended in any way, please let me know immediately as well. i either reply to notifs fast or i dont, no inbetween. maybe there is tho. ꒱

៹ ៸៸ dni — basic dni, israel supporters, irls unless i permit you to interact, inappropriate mlgrm ships. nsfw (jokes r okay), pro/comship etc. i can also block freely if i want to, rarely happens tho.

* i dont mind anyone at any age interacting, so long youre respectful of my boundaries. just dont be a weirdo. ꒱

៹ ៸៸ fandoms — mainly milgram, paralive, aopl & much more which i forgot … but you can ask ! ꒱

៹ ៸៸ favs — es, muu & the whole cast right behind, nayuta & kanata yatonokami / cozmez, hajun yeon, honami osato, vadlip, hajime suzumiya ꒱

៹ ៸៸ funfacts — i love rambling & rping, i have 7 gmails for no reason.. i also have a MINIgram writing series planned! i love cream puffs and my phone’s battery is broken. i dont like donuts. ꒱

៹ ៸៸ tags :

#es talks — random rambles/talks

#es’ reblogs — my reblogs

#es’ art journal — my drawings/artworks

#es’ writing journal — all my works

#es’ [genre] journal — works w that genre!

#es’ asks — my asks

#es’ fav — personal fav things i love!

#es’ notebook — tagged to keep track of things.

* new tags

#es in his misery hole — vent tag, please filter.

#es’ moot battle — battle of his moots! who wins?

#mikoto’s workshift — mini mikopost interaction!

#new year phonegram — tsumi’s new years gartic! ꒱

៹ ៸៸ if you want to dm me about anything literally, feel free to do so; but please ask first! thanks.

with that, youve reached the end of this intro post, thank you for reading! hope you know me at least a little bit more now. ꒱

៹ ៸៸ last updated — 1 jan, happy new year. ꒱

[crepuskin]

you're in my memories tonight, Master Crepus. (i sincerely hope that comes off fondly/nostalgically, and not in a creepy way!)

weed always gets me reminiscing for whatever reason (don't worry, it's legal where i am). if i have a truly indulgent amount, it puts me in a fuzzy headspace that feels similar to a lot of my positive memories of Mond.

there's a specific memory in my mind tonight. i'm not sure if you recall the same, but i'll tell the story just in case. writing in character from here on out.

it was a bone-chilling and miserable winter day, the ground covered with wet snow to knee height. i was roughly thirteen and returning from my very first solo expedition, the one i'd been near hysterics over getting approval for. and as i was trudging through Windrise, my boots starting to soak through and my hair falling from its updo to stick to my sweaty, wind-burned face and my weighty pack listing to one side, i saw the edge of the Winery vineyards. i knew i was meant to be returning to Headquarters to fill in my report, but it was so cold and my legs were burning and i was chomping at the bit to gloat at Kaeya and Diluc about my expedition.

i promised myself i would only stop in to warm up and chat for a short while, and headed up to the Manor door. as i'd expected, Diluc and Kaeya hung on every word of my story about the trip. i was on cloud nine recounting the tiniest of details and fudging the grandeur of my experience. and then Miss Adelinde offered us cocoa, and you hummed a tune while flipping through a book, and the fireplace kept the room bathed in orange heat. it would be more than enough to lull me into a doze even now, let alone then.

and doze i did, my head drooped over to rest on top of Kaeya's. and after a blurry amount of warm time, you wrapped me in your strong arms and carried me into a spare bedroom, tucked me under the covers, and kissed the top of my head. i kept my eyes shut and my breaths even through the entire thing. if you remember this night at all, i suspect you never realized i'd woken up.

i apologize for keeping the secret all this time. i felt so comforted and cared for in that moment, a sense of love and security i can't recall the last time i recieved from my own parents. i suppose i worried that the moment would end and the spell would break if i revealed i was awake.

thank you for filling in for some of my parents' gaps.

and when i woke properly the next morning i was so ashamed of missing my check-in at the Ordo that i fled the Winery like it was infested, and i apologize for that as well. my embarassment at my training failure was no excuse for how snappy i became with you all that morning.

no longer writing in character, anyway, DAMN there's memories in the weed pen. this keeps happening to me with jean. i hope you enjoyed hearing my reminiscing, apologies if it's a little vent-y (haha. vent-y, Venti, either that's actually funny or its just 4am).

Thanks for reading if you've made it this far.

-@dandelionkinspace

I appreciate you taking the time to write so much, it paints a clear picture of your memories; it's always nice to recall these things.

The detail makes me feel like I can recall this. Maybe I'm just imagining it. But I do remember who I was as a person and this sounds a lot like me and the kind of things I'd do.

I remember, during the colder months, we'd have the fireplace going. Different decor would be scattered everywhere. My boys would go out and play in the snow while I stayed inside doing paperwork until my eyes were hazy. And then I'd take a break to play in the snow too. I enjoyed taking the occasional break and participating in silly little games.

Adelinde, the poor gal, she'd get so fussy because all of us would drag the snow back inside. Trust and believe she was yanking my ear with a "Crepus!" (I adore her!) She was so caring and lovely even if she was a little rigid with the rules.

As for Jean, I remember her being a close friend of both Kaeya and Diluc. I was (kind of) friends with the family too. So, there were definitely some strong bonds there. I remember Jean teaching Diluc to wish on dandelions. Told him that the seeds carried the secrets on the wind and that they'd make their way to Barbatos.

Speaking of Diluc, but he was very energetic as a child and I am absolutely shocked by how 😐😑😐 he is in game. He was a fireball!

(Sorry for getting sidetracked! I start rambling and include everything that pops into my brain!)

I saw Jean as family and treated her as such.

[astroismypassion]

Hey, I need to know your opinion here. It's totally fine if you don't wanna but just read maybe you'll enjoy 🤣

My moon and venus is in his 8h and my sun in his 7h; his sun is in my 8h, his moon is in my 9h and his venus in my 7h.

Sometimes I feel very overwhelmed— like why are you so obsessed with me?🤡 like what does he even sees in me??

He constantly tells me that he would leave his family if they tried to stop us being together (I'm assamese and he's a nepali— different tribes also his family knows about us but mine doesn't cuz they are strict asf)

I will not lie, at first I totally ignored him (for 2 year💀 kinda on and off contact- we were classmates) but there was something about him that kept pulling me towards him like crazy istg

He can't express very well nor can I wait he's actually better at expressing his feelings compared to me.

He's lost his v card and I have not. For me, my v card needs to go to someone who is gonna be my permanent not 'maybe/temporary'— he thinks otherwise. So different values and morals.

He constantly spends money and have to keep reminding him to be more strict with his finances (this one irks me so bad)

He gets jealous so fcking easily— like I do too but I try to rationalize my feelings and tell myself that "no they're are just friends, he can have friends okayyy!!" I try to control my possesiveness but no he doesn't.

This is actually my first serious relationship. I'm scared that I will lose my v card to him— no bad if we are the end game but if not then i don't wanna give other than my future hubby TT

I'm scared to commit with him bcs in his past he played around with different girls (NO I'M NOT A 'I CAN FIX HIM' ENERGY 😭) but he claims that I'm the first girl he wants to be with and commit too (his sister told me that he never cried for any girl in his past except for one but that was long ago and now he cries for me bcs I don't trust him) yesterday he told me that "you are making me crazy— are you having fun by having a guy run behind you like a dog??" I was speechless. He was drunk btw he called an hour ago apologizing (he doesn't remember anything he apologized cus his roommates kept scaring him that he told me shit) we haven't talked after that tho

Like always it's an on and off connection.

Okay there's so many things I wanna spill but I'll stop here. Thank you for reading, I hope you had fun my reading my tea lol 😹 anyways

Byeeee<333

Hi!

Hm, lots of complex questions these days in my mailbox. No, but it's alright. I understand the 8th house synastry desire to vent haha. Honestly, so much is to be said, when you are in an 8th house connection.

Definitely don't rush losing v card with the said person. You sound indecisive, which often leads to a "no". Remember that when you are unclear, confused or unsure about something, it's because it's probably a "no". I think that 8th house connections (especially with Sun in the 8th or Mercury in the 8th overlay) are not really worth losing your v card, if you are not beforehand in a committed, mutual partnership with this person. Otherwise, it's just regret and kind of feeling present you would wish to wait it out for someone that you truly have a mutual respect of boundaries in the connection with. If this has not been discussed and establish beforehand, I advise to not engage in any type of sexual activity. Sex might overly complicate already complex situation and when it's sex and feelings involved, the confusion is even stronger after. Don't think that by having sex this will give you more clarity. Try to simplify things for yourself and not overly complicate them, mutual respect is very important.

[fxcelessdiary]

Dear Diary,

I kind of wanted to explain why I'm writing here. It's actually pretty simple.

Trigger Warning for suicide mentions, bullying, etc.

Hi, my name is Abi and I'm homeschooled. I left near the end of eighth grade ( as of writing this, I'm in the eleventh grade ) because of bullying. My friends started telling me to kill myself. I would have if not for my mom pulling me from school. ( thank you mommy )

Because of what happened, I was too terrified to leave my house, worried that I'd run into someone I used to know. I didn't have any friends, aside from one girl from my old class. We still talk to this day.

I don't have many friends anymore ( my current number is in my Instagram bio ). I don't have anyone to vent to. I feel like I needed to be heard, even if nothing came of it. So here's my online diary, haha...

I'm getting more brave and have started talking to people again. I'm trying to make friends again, too. I know I wasn't a great friend in the past, so I'm trying to be better. ( if you knew the old me, pretend you didn't )

Don't get me wrong, I know that a lot of what I went through was my own fault. I hadn't been diagnosed with Autism or ADHD yet ( diagnosed a while after I left school ) and didn't understand myself. I do now, though !

I've got my Instagram linked to this Tumblr blog, so anyone following me can read this. I just need to know I'm being heard. Maybe one day when I make good friends again, I won't need to write here. We can hope.

I'd like to mention that something about me is that my emotions are always the extreme. I'm either super happy, super sad, or super angry. If I'm not feeling anything like that, I don't feel anything at all. My emotions just don't exist. ( apparently my father, who I don't speak to anymore, had the same thing ) I'm also narcissistic, selfish, and mean. I'm working on it.

I'm not great at talking to people. I always overshare or say the wrong things.

For example, I was talking to a friend a while back. They'd asked something like why I didn't come back to school, and I blurted out ( very cheerfully ) that if I did, I'd kill myself. That's not what I wanted to say. I MEANT that the reason I left is because I got so close to killing myself, and I don't think I'm strong enough to go back. Sorry, Nature.

I'll probably add onto this post when I think of more things you should know about. But until then, thanks for reading.

-Abi

November 26 2024 ; 11:02 am

[whorediaries-09]

Happy birthday in advance!! Hope you have an amazing day and that this year brings you loads of happiness and love! My exams end on the day of your birthday so here's to hoping that we both have a fun 23rd 🤞😙

you wanted to have fun 🪶- send a request asking me to ship you with a character.

Physical description - I'm 5'9 and I have long and curly dark brown hair and brown eyes. I have a fair skin tone, I'm slim and I've got full lips and fairly large eyes. I also have these dimples that I really like!

It takes me a while to feel comfortable around new people but once I do, I become really talkative and outgoing. I love helping out and I'm the therapist friend, people come to me to vent or for advice and comfort. I'm smart and ambitious; I love being the best at everything I do. I'm quite the hopeless romantic and I love being in love! I adore big and small romantic gestures and I love domesticity sm!!

I love reading, my favorite genres are poetry, Russian lit, and mysteries! I love learning about new things and knowing a little bit of everything. I adore adventures, witty and playful banter, joking around and having indepth discussions on anything and everything! I love all forms of art and I have quite a few creative hobbies! I listen to a lot of modern/indie rock and I love watching films very much! I enjoy working out and I'm really good at tennis and badminton.

My love languages are acts of service and quality time. I'm a ravenclaw, my mbti is infp and my enneagram is 4w3!

Thank you! ❤️

hello sweetie! thank you for the wish and sending in a request! (i'm also taking my exams rn but they end on 25th 🥲) also i feel like i must ask you this, have you requested a ship on my blog before (probably for my valentine's event)? i feel like i've written a ship for either you or someone else really similar to you. let me know haha!

i ship you with remus lupin!

remus and your love is paradoxical. every time you're being affectionate to him and being so loving with him, and he thinks he's a monster and doesn't deserve your love. he thinks it's so selfish of him to 'bind' you with him. you're smothering him in love he doesn't think he doesn't deserve. but you know him better than he knew himself, and every time him tries to resist the things you do to take care of him, you scold him, because he deserves every bit of love. so, from resisting you washing his wounds from a particularly full moon to him accepting your love and affection for him, the both of you have come a long way.

remus would be lying if he said that he liked your music taste, because in reality he doesn't. it's not bad, but just something he wouldn't personally listen to. but he comes around, slowly enjoying it. mainly because he'll enjoy whatever makes you happy. he just loves you a whole lot.

remus lupin and you have in-depth conversations about books. the both of you have a similar taste in books. you have your own little "book club", which really has two members, you and him. the both of you sit down and have hours long conversations about the book either of you read over the week, and it just seems never-ending. you and him will analyze each character, breaking them down. yours and his friends know not to interact with either of you when you're discussing about a book.

you and him also have some intense conversations about other things. a few things that somehow are highly anticipated but kind of scary too. it's your idea of quality time. sometimes you'll sketch him, sometimes you'll write him poems. you see his beauty that nobody seems to see or decipher. you see him in a light nobody can see. because he's your eternal muse.

hopefully the ship didn't disappoint! have a nice day/night ahead :)!

join my celebration!

[moonstruckme]

sorry for venting in your askbox but fhjfssgh tmr is my bday and im all alone in spain w no friends or family which makes me feel a little sad but its wtvvv when i came here 2 weeks ago i lost my luggage and the airline has been so useless since i swear i just spent the whoooole evening at the airport waiting and waiting for some updates and there was the LONGEST line ever i was standing up for almost two hours i swear 😭 all for them to tell me there was an error on my request thing for my luggage 💀💀 anyways im so tired and hungry since i missed dinner too! all this to say im superrrr excited for the new thawing out part u and elle are my favorite writers ever and im sure itll be the best bday gift! ly❤️❤️

Aw baby I'm so sorry!!! Happy almost birthday my love. Mine's this week too so we're almost twins! (I see you virgo queen haha) That's a really shit way to kick off your time travelling (are you doing a semester abroad?), I'm so sorry it's been so difficult. They sound like they're being massively unhelpful but I'm manifesting that it's an easy fix in the end and you're able to get your stuff!! I hope you get yourself a nice treat for your birthday <33 Also thank you, I'm glad you enjoy reading it !

[hannie-dul-set]

hello!! I love all your works - the details the plot the very clever and funny punchlines hehehe they make me feel a certain way that life just… is not delivering TT (i have been in your inbox before) and I’m just here to wax poetic about peach tree again my beloved my favorite my no 1 on this little hellsite known as tumblr. Every now and then I just feel this rush of fondness for it HAHA and I wanted to share that somehow somewhere :”

a little confession is that I felt like peach tree is really similar to my life… but just as the story is still unfolding so is my own life’s story - the ending is still a mystery. Sometimes I hope to come in and see the next part of peach tree, hoping it’d give me more things to dream and hope for (I may be sounding too delusional I hope that’s not too intense). but I just mean to say that I am very thankful and feel blessed to read your works! <3

I think one of my recent favorites would be the one w soobin in the pubs committee w y/n as well!! you rly have such a way with words and ideas I wish you’d write a drama hehe

sending you lots of power and boss vibes (which you seem to have lots of already) to get through school!

head was spinning because of my midterms coverage last night but my mood instantly got better when i read this during my break 😭.

when i started writing peach tree, i wasnt sure if people would want to read a 40k word vomit (now at 80k if you include act ii that's catching dust in my gdocs) of me venting about the issues i had to work through 😭😭 it's a personal work, and seeing a lot of you guys relate to it makes me both happy and sympathetic at the same time.

UGH this story is just so very dear to me and i'm glad you find some sort of comfort to it. to everyone still waiting for act ii......i will really try my best to get it out within the year, maybe during my summer vacation because it's not like my current silly little fics where i can just barf out some jokes and call it a day HAHAHAHAH i need to be in a certain headspace to write it, and the wip is currently stuck on a particularly emotionally climactic scene that my brain and heart just isn't ready for 😭😭😭.

the soobin fic, love vomit, is very much peach tree coded and also a testament to my tendency of oversharing my life through fanfics and kpop boys HAHAHAHAHHAHA thank you so much for this anon, hope you're having a wonderful day!

[missrosegold]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤

Thank you for the tag @kimkaelyn (also, my apologies, I thought I followed you way earlier, my mistake!) I'm going to post everything below the cut, since this is going to be a long post!!

Some of the stories that I'll mention here are from my old fandom which was... PPG. I'm not ashamed of them by any means - quite the opposite actually - it's what allowed me to start writing in the first place, and I met some of my best friends in that fandom, so I'll always be grateful to it for that, but there was a lot of things about that community that were not great, so I left. Some of these stories are old. I mean from FF days, but I did bring the ones I liked the most over onto my A03 (with a crap-ton of edits) so if anyone is interested in giving them a read, by all means, feel free!

and if my body should fade I'll trust you with my soul - Dabi x (F)reader (MHA/BNHA)

You’ve always been able to see the man with white hair and charred skin around your village, even though it seemed that nobody else could Or, you ended up making a deal with death, and now he’s come to collect

This particular story is near and dear to my heart, as it's the first story I wrote after a 2 year hiatus. COVID was murder on my mental health and I didn't have any motivation to write. It was around that time that I started getting into MHA, and subsequently discovered Dabi as well. Needless to say, I never looked back haha. I spent nearly 2 years lurking around the MHA A03 side, reading the delightful stories that authors on here published, and getting more familiar with this blog, before I decided that I wanted to try my hand I writing something again. This idea about Death God!Dabi had been floating around in my mind for quite some time at this point, and part of the inspiration for the story was from a post about Dabi, which had a quote attached to it that went something like: "Looking like half a corpse, half a god." I took it as a sign to keep going with the idea, and I ran with it. The story that came afterwards, was the end result. He fit's the role of a death god well, and I had a lot of fun writing this story! I've said it before, and I'll say it again: This story is my love letter to Dabi. His character is complex, and his story isn't a happy one, but that's what makes him so interesting. I love writing for him just as much as I love his characterization. He's challenging to write well, but in the best possible way.

2. always the fool with the slowest heart - Dabi x (F)reader (MHA/BNHA)

After a few particularly grueling years of working nonstop, you broke down and burnt yourself out. To escape the rat-race, you left for the island where your aunt and uncle live; back to the beach house you spent your summers at as a child. As you slowly work on building yourself back up, you start to realize some things on the island are not quite as you remember them to be.

Little did you know, there was a surprise waiting you in the shallows when you returned to the island nearly a decade after you last left.

Another AU story about Dabi, only this time, he's a merman. This one ended up getting away from me a bit, and the direction of the plot changed halfway into me writing it. It more or less turned into a way for me to vent my frustrations about working non-stop through the pandemic, and burning myself out very early on in my career. (turns out healthcare isn't the field you wanna be in with a global pandemic strikes, it wasn't a great couple of years for me). This story is more or less dedicated to anyone who has experienced some kind of burnout or mental exhaustion at some point in time + the added bonus of having a whirlwind romance with a large, attractive merman. The themes of escapism and dealing with anxiety/stress are heavier in this one, so if you have any triggers related to what I've listed, then please proceed with caution. This story ended up growing so large, I ended up breaking it up into 3 parts. Currently, 2/3 chapters are posted, but the final installment should be along shortly!

And here we move into stories from my old fandom. I namely wrote for the Greens (Butch and Buttercup). Before I say anything else - I want to make it clear that I only ever wrote these two as being somewhere in their late teens (18+ but maybe 17 here or there), to anywhere in their mid to late twenties. Writing for the PPG back in the day was a lot of fun, because the fandom itself was a sandbox of sorts. The show focused on when the girls were young, but what happened to them as they grew up? That's left largely up to the viewers discression, and boy did I have fun writing for the Greens in particular. The notorious middle children where just so full rage and bloodlust as kids, I had a ball envisioning them as they got older. So angsty, so good. It's because of this fandom that I have such an affinity for writing AU's - rarely do I ever actually focus on plot-related stories, AU's are just so incredibly fun to write. While I'm no longer apart of this fandom, I do still enjoy these stories:

3. Lords of the Playlist - Butch x Buttercup (PPG)

They were lords of the playlist – they were legends. Two forces of nature, housed in bodies strengthened by Chemical X. They breathed life into each other, fed off each other’s energy. They were everything.

This story in particular is one of my longest to date, reigning at 92 chapters. Are they full chapters? Absolutely not. These were a collection of one-shots inspired by songs that I thought suited the Greens - I even made the full playlist on Spotify! The chapters are not cohesive to each other, and each could be read alone, but the order of the songs do follow a certain flow. This story took me 3 years to complete fully: I started it in 2016 a few months after I started collage, and I finished it in 2019 a few months after I graduated, so it was a nice way to end things. I suppose I'm most proud of the fact I stuck with it for so long. Normally I don't end up finishing projects as big as this one was, but I did, which was a first for me at that time. All and all, this is still one of my favourite pieces I've written.

4. Killers Playground - Reds, Greens, Blues (PPG)

Mafia AU – They were three of Townsville’s most notorious crime lords. They were three good girls that got caught up in the wrong crowd. West Side Story has nothing on these kids.

Surprise surprise, it's another AU, but a mafia centered one, and no one has their powers. This one involved all 3 of the traditional counterpart parings, which is something I didn't normally do, but I wanted to try my hand at writing for the Reds and Blues (I still think the best chapter was the Greens though, haha). It was a three-parter with each pairing getting their own chapter, and they all intertwined at some point. This one was a little bit twisted but I had a great deal of fun writing it at the time! This story gained a lot of traction when I initially posted it, so I guess people enjoyed it as much as I did! This one is rated M for a reason though. It's mafia based, which is it's own warning in of itself.

5. Yearning - Butch x Buttercup (PPH)

The five times Butch wanted to kiss Buttercup, and the one time he did.

This story was one of the very first I ever posted. I think it was my second or third, honestly I can't remember. This one was my take on what a budding relationship between the Greens might have looked at as they grew older together, and tried to sort out their feelings for one another. This was written from Butch's point of view, as I have this headcannon that he's an emotionally constipated little gremlin who is so out of touch with himself, that he doesn't realize he has feelings (that are more then friendly) for his counterpart until they literally smack him in the face, and he's forced to admit it to himself, even though he's loathed to do so. That being said, I also believe that he loves hard, and he has a lot of urges that he has to try and control when it comes to Buttercup, so this was my attempt at fleshing out those feelings in a way that was believable for both counterparts.

Anyways that was incredibly fun to write! Thank you so much for the tag! Sorry it took so long for me to respond, I got a little carried away with this prompt!

Tagging: @carriedreamerx2 @candycandy00 @kiebs @dynamars @shadowsandshapes @malewifetouya