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stylesispunk · 9 months ago

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"The not so invisible string" part 5

Not outbreak! Joel Miller x F! Reader

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summary: you and Joel were made right for each other at the wrong time. Now, thirteen years later your paths crossed when both of your daughters get in trouble at school. Would be the right time for you now?

word count: 4k

warnings: angst, cheating, serious talk. "Doe" is her nickname. No proof reading haha

a/n: Hello! Here's chapter 5! I hope you like it, sorry for the all the wait, I've been dealing with some things. This one is more like a filler chapter and I'll be back with another one on Tuesday! Reblogs and comments are always appreciated. Happy reading 💌 Remember my dms and asks are always open for you

dividers by @/saradika.

It has already been a week since you found out about Dwight’s family, and since then, you have not spoken to him. He had sent messages and had been calling you, begging you to let him explain himself. But you ignore them; instead, you initiated the divorce process with a lawyer, and you were waiting for this chapter of your life to finally be over. Even when you couldn’t bear the feeling of something you touched becoming ashes again, how a shame it was for you to be an insignificant target to fool.

The truth was that Dwight was a source of light entering through your window at some point. The very first night you met him, he was a gentleman, and he treated you well until he stopped. However, the unfaithful path he had chosen for the both of you was something you could not forgive. Your marriage was ending like all the other love stories you were part of.

And that was one of the worst parts of being an adult: having to pick up the broken pieces of you by yourself, save them in your pocket, and continue with your life because it doesn’t matter how exhausted you are or not; you have to continue because you are a woman and no little child is allowed to cry anymore.

During all this week, you had been staying at Joel’s house. He reassured me that it was okay for him to sleep on the couch and insisted that you take the bed. Joel had been acting as a supportive friend throughout this difficult situation, offering a listening ear whenever you needed to vent and a shoulder to cry on, but still, the string pulling you together was burning in your finger, and for him, it seemed okay to pretend that the kiss you almost gave him didn’t happen.

As you lay in bed one night, staring up at the ceiling, thoughts of Dwight and the life you had envisioned together flooded your mind. You couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness and betrayal, but deep down, you knew that you deserved better than someone who couldn't stay faithful.

After all, you thought you deserved it. You had been physically faithful to him, but you always knew your heart belonged to Joel since the moment you met him, and loving a man while staying married to another was another type of treason.

All wells end badly if they are built on lies.

"A penny for your thoughts?"

You almost dropped your cup of coffee when you heard Joel's voice saying your name.

"What?" You inquired, perplexed.

"I told you I'm leaving and taking the girls to school; are you coming?"

"No, I have to see Dwight in an hour," you said. Joel's face sank slightly at the mention of Dwight's name, as if poison had flowed from your lips. "You know, divorce things," you said somberly.

Joel nodded in agreement, although his expression revealed a tinge of anguish. "I understand," he replied softly. "Just remember, you don't have to go through this alone. I'm here for you, no matter what.

Touched by his constant support, you smiled gratefully. "Thank you, Joel. I sincerely appreciate everything you have done for me. And thank you for taking Tara to school."

As Joel gathered his belongings and prepared to go, you couldn't help but feel grateful for having him back in your life. Despite the distress you were experiencing, knowing you had someone like him by your side gave you the resilience to face whatever lay ahead.

With a deep breath, you prepared for the meeting with Dwight, reaffirming your courage and telling yourself that you deserved better than the pain he had caused you. And as you saw Joel leaving, you couldn't help but feel like the story was repeating itself, as if you weren't deserving of permanent love.

The mood at the lawyer's office, where you sat across from Dwight, was strained. The air seemed heavy with unspoken thoughts and repressed feelings. Dwight squirmed uneasily in his seat, avoiding your gaze and fidgeting with the papers in front of him.

You took a deep breath, ready for the talk that needed to take place. "Dwight," you said, your voice firm but laced with bitterness, "we both understand why we're here. "This marriage... is over."

Dwight finally caught your stare, and you could feel the guilt and regret in his eyes. "I know," he replied softly, just above a whisper. "I messed up, and I apologize. I don't expect you to forgive me, but just know that I didn't mean to hurt you."

Your heart was crushed at his words, but you knew forgiveness would never come. "Yeah, I bet you didn't mean to have a child with another woman," you responded, your tone strict. "But apologies are not going to fix the damage already done. We need to move forward with the divorce, and I want you to tell Tara about your child."

Dwight nodded, a sense of resignation washing over him. "I understand," he replied, his voice full of remorse. "I will sign any paper that is required and won't disagree with it. I only want you to be happy, even if it is without me."

As you left the lawyer's office, without saying a word to him, Dwight turned to you with an eager expression in his eyes. "Can I have Tara over for dinner tonight?" he requested cautiously. "I want to tell her the truth and start making amends."

You hesitated for a moment, considering your alternatives. Regardless of the hurt and betrayal, you believed Tara deserved to know the truth about her father. And perhaps, by confronting the truth together, you would be able to repair the wounds that have been done to your family.

You sighed and nodded, an overwhelming feeling of conviction coming over you. "Yes, Dwight," you replied gently. "You can have Tara over for tonight.

Dwight nodded, a thankful smile flashing over his lips. "Thank you," he replied genuinely. "I won't let you down."

"I don't trust you, and if you make my daughter cry, I will fucking kill you, Dwight." You spoke with a steely tone to emphasize the importance of your warning.

Dwight's smile faded as he gulped and nodded his head. "I know I've let you both down," he muttered gently, his expression gloomy. "But I swear, I'll do everything I can to make things right. "I love Tara and would never do anything to hurt her."

You kept his stare for a minute, looking for any sign of sincerity. You slowly nodded, accepting his words with cautious apprehension. "But you did," you responded, your tone softening slightly. "Tara deserves nothing less than your best. "You are her father; act like one."

Dwight nodded firmly; his expression full of purpose. "I won't let you down," he said, his voice full of tenacity.

With a final nod, you turned and walked away, an avalanche of emotions spinning inside you. While you couldn't ignore the pain and treachery he'd caused you, you couldn't resist the flicker of optimism washing over you.

"Hey, pretty lady, can you help me with something?" Tommy spoke while reaching over to your desk.

"What is it?" you asked, in an unnecessarily harsh tone, as Tommy lifted his gaze to meet the sadness in your eyes and laid his papers aside.

"Okay. What's wrong?" He asked, concerned.

"Nothing but a soon-to-be divorce," you responded, faking a smile as if you had said something amusing, but Tommy did not laugh or smile.

"What?" you asked. "Okay, I'm kind of stressed with some things."

"I'm sorry to hear that," he replied quietly, his voice full of sympathy. "If you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you."

You felt a rush of gratitude rush over you after Tommy's offer of support.

Despite the facade you had been trying to keep up, the weight of recent events had taken its toll, and it felt good to finally share your burden with someone else.

"Is it because of my brother, or not? What about his date tonight?"

"Joel has a date tonight." you said, your heart cracking slightly.

Tommy's face furrowed with worry as he noticed your reaction. "Yes, he mentioned it earlier. He said he was going out with someone he had recently met."

The news made your heart sink as a range of emotions swirled inside you. "Oh," was all you could say, attempting to cover up the twinge of pain that stabbed your chest.

Tommy sensed a shift in your attitude, and his expression softened with understanding. "I'm sorry, I thought you knew since you are staying at his house."

"It's okay, Tommy," you said, attempting a forced smile.

However, it was not okay.

Not long after that, Joel came to the office door, ready to go, and drew your attention with a glance around the room. Without saying anything, he gestured for Tommy to join him, and the two of them rushed toward the exit.

You couldn't help but feel a tinge of disappointment as you observed them leave together, a reminder that you'd also lost him along the way.

As they approached the door, Joel paused and returned his gaze to you, his face softening as he did so, and despite the hurt and confusion whirling inside you, you managed to muster a small, strained smile in response.

"See you later," Joel murmured, his tone tinged with concern.

You nodded in answer, attempting to cover up the chaos that was growing within you. "See you," you said, the words seeming flat on your tongue.

Joel and Tommy disappeared in just one glance, leaving you alone in the office with your thoughts.

Maybe it was time for you to move on, leave his house, and even leave this town.

As the night fell, you found yourself lost in your thoughts, the events of the day weighing heavily on your mind. The sound of the door opening pulled you from your reverie, and you looked up to see Joel entering the house.

"Hey," he greeted you, his voice warm but tinged with concern as he noticed the somber expression on your face. "How was your day?"

You forced a smile, trying to mask the turmoil brewing inside you. "It was alright," you replied vaguely, avoiding his gaze.

Joel furrowed his brows, sensing that something was amiss. "Where are the girls?”

“Uhm. Sarah is upstairs doing homework”

“And Tara?" he asked, his tone filled with curiosity.

You hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to respond. "She's at Dwight's," you finally admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

Joel's expression tensed slightly at the mention of Dwight's name, a flicker of emotion passing through his eyes before he composed himself. "Oh," was all he said, his voice neutral.

A heavy silence settled between you, the weight of unspoken words hanging in the air. Sensing the tension, you took a deep breath and decided to break the silence.

"So, uh, how was your date?" you asked, trying to sound casual despite the knot of jealousy tightening in your chest.

Joel's brows furrowed in confusion, his eyes searching yours for any hint of jest. "Date?" he echoed; his voice tinged with surprise.

Your heart sank at his reaction, realizing that perhaps you had misunderstood or misheard earlier. "Yeah, Tommy mentioned it,” you explained, trying to keep your tone light despite the growing unease in your stomach.

As you mentioned Tommy's observation, Joel's expression softened, understanding dawning in his eyes. “There was no date; I was actually still working at this dude’s house.”

“Then why did he? you began.

“Were you jealous?” he interrupted

You paused, caught off guard by Joel's interruption. The question hung in the air, heavy with implications. Your heart raced as you considered how to respond, unsure whether to admit the truth or deflect his inquiry.

"I... I don't know," you finally admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Would it be bad? I mean, would it be that bad for me to have a date?” he teased, smirking at you.

Joel's teasing tone caught you off guard, and you felt a range of emotions rushing up inside you. Part of you wanted to dismiss his inquiry with a casual reply, while another part wanted to express how sensitive you are and hurt.

"Maybe" you said, your voice tinged with sorrow.

Joel's humorous tone faded when he understood the importance of his words. He reached out and gently grabbed your hand, and you automatically retreated, feeling a flash of weakness and uneasiness. His gaze shifted, and his eyes showed fear.

"I think that it's better if I go to stay at my parents' house." You said, a lump developing in your throat as you battled to hold back your tears.

"I think it's better if I go to stay at my parents' house." You announced, a lump growing in your throat as you tried to hold back tears. "I just... I need some space right now," you explained, your voice trembling with passion. "I need time to think about my feelings and figure things out."

He chuckled gently. "I think you're being dramatic." Joel's giggle broke the tension, leaving you taken aback and irritated. The lump in your throat became bigger as tears welled up in your eyes, and your heart ached from the burden of his words.

"You don't understand," you exclaimed, your voice shaking with emotion.

"Then make me!" he exclaimed. "I thought you were going to be happier without him, but it seems like you're just a gosht."

"Oh my god, I'm sorry for being sad over the fact that the man I was married to for the last years of my life built another family behind my back as if I were nothing!"

"Dwight doesn't deserve you; he never did," Joel said.

As Joel's remarks hung in the air, a tight silence fell over the room, interrupted only by the sound of your heavy breathing. His attempts to lighten the situation had only deepened the wound in your heart, leaving you feeling even more alone and misunderstood than before.

The tears that had been threatening to spill over finally let loose, running down your cheeks in silent streams as you battled to control yourself. Joel's words were like a punch in the face, a burning reminder of the treason and heartache you'd experienced at Dwight's hands.

"Oh, and who deserves me then?" You said, "Tell me; I want to know."

Joel just stated, "Someone better,” deep down knowing it was him.

"Like you?" you questioned.

"You can trust me," he reassured.

"No, I can't because I don't know you!" you stated.

"I'm the same Joel you met," he said back, trying to stop the storm from coming between you both.

"The one who became a ghost or broke my heart? Which one?" you demanded, tears welling up in your eyes.

"Look, I understand you are afraid of things, but if you think I'm going to say I wish I could get back in time and regret having my daughter for one second, you're crazy." He merely pointed out,

You chuckled as tears flowed down your cheeks. You tried to wipe them away, attempting to remain calm as you stared at Joel, hoping for some form of understanding.

"I never wanted you to regret having Sarah," you replied quietly, your voice tinged with sadness. “I know she's the best thing that ever happened to you.”

Joel's face softened in reaction to your words, with an instant of guilt running through his eyes as he saw the pain on your face. He reached out carefully, his hand gliding in the air between you as a silent gesture of comfort and understanding.

As Joel's palm finally touched yours, a sense of warmth and connection poured over you, spanning the gap that had threatened to separate you. In that moment, you sensed a glimmer of joy and a fresh belief in the possibilities of mending and healing.

"I know," Joel said quietly, his voice full of honesty. "And I am grateful for her every day. But that doesn't change how I feel about you or us. He paused. "Actually, there's something I need to confess."

"What do you mean?" you inquired, your tone barely above a whisper.

Joel took a long breath, his gaze never leaving yours as he began speaking. "Do you remember those nights I was working late? I wasn't only working, Doe. I was saving money."

Confusion flared in your eyes as you attempted to process his words. "Save money? For what?"

"For a ring," Joel said, his voice full of remorse and vulnerability. "I was planning to propose to you."

The air in your lungs became still as Joel's words sank in. Joel had kept this secret from you all these years, while you were struggling with self-esteem issues.

Tears welled in your eyes. "Did you buy before I left that night we broke?" you whispered, your voice thick with emotion.

He nodded. "I wanted everything to be perfect," Joel confessed, his eyes filled with grief. "But then... things got complicated." "And I thought... I thought I had lost my chance with you."

"But you let me go," you stated, sounding weak due to the weight of your words, heavy with the distress of the past.

Joel's face softened, and his eyes reflected the grief that filled his heart. "I know, and I'll always regret that," he said, his voice tinged with sadness.

His eyebrows seemed to furrow with remorse as he took a look at your intense stare. "I was a coward," he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. "I let my fear control me, and in doing so, I lost the most important thing I had in my life."

The vulnerability in Joel's admission resonated with the ache in your own heart. For years, you had carried the weight of his absence, wondering what could have been if only he had been brave enough to fight for you.

"I should have fought for us," Joel continued, his gaze locked with yours. "But I was too afraid of losing you, so I let you slip away."

“I need space, Joel,” you said. “And I deserve to be loved, so I’m not going to follow you or anybody else unless you show me that.”

Joel's shoulders sagged with the weight of your words, his eyes reflecting a mixture of regret and understanding. "I understand," he whispered, his voice heavy with remorse. "You deserve to be loved, and I've failed you in that regard."

As you spoke, a sense of clarity washed over you, a realization that you owed it to yourself to prioritize your own healing and well-being. You had spent too long waiting for someone else to validate your worth, and now you were ready to take control your choices.

"I won't ask you to follow me," Joel replied, his tone filled with resignation. "But I hope that someday I can show you the love and respect you deserve."

As you walked downstairs, the weight of your decision weighed heavily on your shoulders. Each step seemed like a bitter reminder of the past and an uncertain future. But with every stride, you felt a fresh resolution grow within you—a drive to reclaim control of your own life.

When you reached the bottom of the steps, you paused to collect your thoughts before heading toward the door. The sound of your footsteps echoed in the still room, providing an abrupt contrast to the turbulent emotions racing within you.

However, as you reached for the doorknob, a voice stopped you in your tracks.

"Doe, wait."

You turned to see Joel standing in the doorway, his expression full of anguish.

You turned to see Joel standing in the doorway, his expression full of anguish. His eyes pleaded with you, silently begging for the opportunity to set things right.

"I need to go," you replied, just above a whisper. "I cannot stay here, Joel."

Joel took a step closer, his eyes never leaving yours. "I understand," he replied, his voice tinged with regret. "You need space, but I have to tell you this before."

You hesitated, divided between the urge to leave and the need to hear Joel's words. With a disturbed heart, you nodded, quietly encouraging him to speak.

"I made a mistake that night," Joel said, his voice shaking with emotion. "I should've fought for you, Doe. I should have told you how much you meant to me instead of letting you leave."

You broke down in tears when you heard Joel's confession. For years, you had felt the weight of his absence, wondering if things could have turned out differently if he had been brave enough to fight for you.

"I'm sorry," Joel said quietly, his voice barely audible. "I'm so sorry for letting you go." He breathed in. "So that's why I'm doing this now."

“What?” you asked.

You furrowed your brow, attempting to make sense of his captivating comment. Before you could utter another word, Joel closed the distance between you, his movements swift yet gentle.

In an instant, his lips touched yours in a delicate kiss—a muttered plea for forgiveness and a promise of reconciliation. The world around you appeared to fade away as the warmth of his touch embraced you, washing away the layers of doubt and uncertainty that had tortured your heart for so long.

Joel knew words weren’t enough for you right now, and this swift action was the only way he found to pour and show all the love and promises he couldn’t save those years, being sealed in this very right moment.

Not letting you go this time was his first attempt to bring you back and offer you the life and love you deserved.

For a little moment, time stood still, and all that mattered was what you shared with Joel—a bond that transcended through the years.

Joel pulled away, his gaze fixed on yours, looking for any sign of recognition. His breath merged with yours, stealing what he believed was his. A silent exchange of emotions spoke volumes without the use of words.

"I can't let you go," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "Not again, please stay with me," he pleaded, holding your face with his hands.

Joel's words lingered heavily in the air, echoing his desperation and need. You noticed a genuine desperation in his request, one that mirrored your own. You had ached for reassurance of his love for so long, and now as he stood before you, baring his soul, you couldn't resist the pull of your heart toward him.

"I don't want to leave," you said, just above a whisper. "But I need to know that this time is different, Joel. I need to know if you are willing to fight for us."

Joel nodded; his eyes full of purpose. "I am," he declared, his voice filled with passion. "I'll do whatever it takes to make things right between us, to prove to you that you're the one I want, now and always."

Tears welled up in your eyes as you met Joel's soulful gaze and noticed the depth of his love and honesty reflected in you. You lifted your hand while taking in the warmth of his face under your fingertips.

Feeling the warmth of Joel's touch under your fingertips, you took a deep breath, trying to steady the whirlwind of emotions swirling within you. Despite the overwhelming rush of love and longing, you knew that you needed time to process everything that had happened—to settle the chaos in your heart and mind.

"I need time," you admitted, your voice trembling slightly with emotion. "Time to process everything that's happened, time to heal, and time to figure out what I want."

Joel's expression softened, and his gaze filled with understanding. "I understand," he said softly, his voice a soothing balm to your frazzled nerves. "Take all the time you need, baby. I'll be here waiting for you, I promise.”

Sarah

“Guys, it worked! They talked things out!”

Tara

No way! Seriously?

Tommy

So, my lie worked? What happened?

Sarah

They kissed! My dad is over the moon!

Tara

OMG, really?! I can't believe it!

Tommy

Wow, I didn't think our little plan would actually work.

Sarah

We just needed to give them a little push.

Tommy

We? I lied for you little girls.

Tara

I'm so happy for them. They belong together.

Tommy

Yeah, they do. Let's just hope they figure things out soon.

tags 💌: @joeldjarin @missladym1981 @yomiyasxx @aliengirl99 @lola8888673 @nottodaysattan @picketniffler @violinchick @sadgirlcheesecake @caitlynsixxx @luvwanda @sarahhxx03

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itsbeeble · 1 year ago

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Forever and Always

Summary: Kim Mingyu promised to love you forever and always. Why does it feel like that is no longer true?

Genre: angst, lovers to ???

Pairing: Kim Mingyu x gn!reader

WC: 1.5k

Series Masterlist

WARNINGS UNDER CUT

Warnings: hurt no comfort, Mingyu is just cruel in this, idk man they're arguing (mostly mingyu though), this relationship is lowkey toxic actually, reader flinches a lot but not bc she's scared of mingyu

Listen to Forever and Always by Taylor Swift for full effect

A/N: hahaha....haha.....ha.... ANYWAY THANK YOU FAWN FOR BETA READING THIS ILY POOKIE

You’re just finishing dinner when Mingyu walks in the door. Your back is turned at first, already prepping his plate, so you don’t see the exhaustion and the frustration weighing on his large frame when he first walks in. You don’t see the tick in his jaw when he lays his eyes on you, see the annoyance when you finish plating his dinner.

“I thought you’d be home later,” you turn around to face Mingyu, a warm smile on your face when you approach the table next to him. The food you’ve made smells delicious, but Mingyu ignores that. “I’m glad you’re here now, though.

Forever and always, right?

“Can I just...” Mingyu exhales heavily. “I’d like to settle in before we eat, please.” You look at him, still smiling.

“Of course! I’ll wait for you-”

“Don’t wait for me.” His voice comes out harsher than he wants it to and you flinch a bit. “I just...just eat.”

“But I thought... I just thought we could eat together tonight.” Your voice isn’t quite disappointed, but it’s enough for the last of Mingyu’s patience to fly out the door.

Forever and always.

You don’t know how long the argument has been going on. You don’t know how long Mingyu’s been yelling, how long you’ve been trying to voice your defense. Your face is burning from the humiliation of the whole situation, and your body shaking but not with anger.

"I already told you that I just want to be left alone,” Mingyu speaks through gritted teeth, standing across the room from you. You can hear the rain pounding outside, and you do your best to use it to calm your mind. You’re backed into the corner of the kitchen, eyes wide and teary although your face is dry. You don’t know if you’re shocked, or if you just can’t bring yourself to cry around the man you’d been in love with for the past six years.

Six years.

You’d been together for six years and never have you seen your lover, the man you’d promised to love forever and always, this angry.

“Mingyu, I just want you to eat something,” your voice is trembling and quiet, and you don’t think he hears you.

“All you do,” he takes a step closer, grabbing the edge of the counter and keeping himself there. He doesn’t move any closer to you than he already is. “Is fucking nag me. All you do is whine about how long your day was, how long it took to cook dinner, to buy groceries. You never fucking stop to really look at me, do you? You never fucking stop to think about how tired I am at the end of the day, and how maybe I just want to be left alone for once. Do you ever stop to think about how fucking annoying you are?”

Forever and always

Forever

Always

Please stop

Your hands are shaking, sweating, and you lower your gaze to the floor. You can’t even tell if Mingyu is talking to you anymore. Can’t tell if he’s just yelling at this point, venting, waiting for you to break.

“All I want is just five fucking minutes of peace, but you can’t even give me that, can you? God, you’re fucking useless.”

Oh.

Mingyu doesn’t snap out of it until he hears the front door slam. He doesn’t snap out of it until he sees that you’re gone, your apartment keys still hanging next to the door. It’s oddly quiet now, and he takes a second to breathe. Takes a second to gather his thoughts, and then the full weight of what he just did hits him like a freight train.

Useless

Annoying

Nag

His phone sits in front of him, and he stares at it. The screen is black, and when he turns it on there are no notifications. He has half a mind to call you, to tell you to come back and that he’s sorry. That he doesn’t know why he yelled at you like that, and it isn’t your fault. He wants to call you, to tell you he loves you forever and always.

The phone remains on the counter, eventually powering off while Mingyu walks to your shared bedroom to lie down.

Forever and always, he supposed, didn’t always mean forever and always.

The rain is relentless, pounding against your skin, soaking you to the bone. Your hair clings to your face, to the back of your neck, and to your shirt. It’s almost ironic how similar it is to the night you met Kim Mingyu.

It had been a Tuesday, you think, during your senior year of college. You’d forgotten your umbrella and were standing just outside the door of the university library. It was cold and wet, and your body was shaking just as it is now. Mingyu had approached you, and at first, you’d tried to ignore the way he stood next to you. He’d been hesitant, unsure of what to say.

Do you wanna share my umbrella?

You’d laughed at that. Of course you laughed.

How are we both gonna fit under there?

He’d flashed you a crooked smile, holding his arm out to link with yours.

A risk we’ll have to take if we wanna catch the last bus. You’d smiled back at him.

Promise you won’t take off without me?

He had hesitated and you’d punched him. He had laughed. God you were so addicted to hearing that laugh.

I promise. Another smile, and the corners of his eyes lift. Forever and always. Your nose had scrunched at the statement.

Awfully bold of you to say to someone you just met.

I’m a bold person.

Tonight, however, there is no umbrella. There is no Mingyu with his awkward, clumsy steps. There is now laughing as the two of you run to the bus stop. No introductions, no joyous exchanges of phone numbers.

Phone.

You’d forgotten your phone. Patting the pockets of your pants, you huff. Keys too. Did Mingyu know? Was he waiting for you? Did he care?

You were sitting on a bench at the bus stop. Rain pelts the glass surrounding you, and you let your body curl in on itself. It’s a miracle you haven’t cried. Maybe your body is too cold- too numb to cry.

What happened to forever and always?

You keep your head down when you knock on the door of your apartment. You’re soaked to the bone, your body still shaking from the argument and the cold of the rain. You wish you’d remembered to grab your keys, but you weren’t exactly worried about coming back when you’d left your home.

The lock clicks, and your body jolts. The inside of your apartment is warm, you can feel the heat even from the doorway. You can see Mingyu in front of you, but you keep your gaze on the ground. You can’t bear to look at your lover, not when the mental wounds the argument left on you are still open and bleeding.

Mingyu sighs, and steps to the side so you can enter your apartment. He doesn’t say anything, and neither do you. It’s agonizing, the walk through the kitchen where he’d been screaming at you just a few hours ago. It’s agonizing walking into your bedroom, knowing he’s trailing behind you and refusing to say anything.

“I put your dinner in the fridge.” Mingyu is sitting on your bed, watching you but making no moves to help you. He doesn’t ask where you were or if you’re alright and the longer he stays quiet, the more you begin to hate him.

Something soft and warm touches your shoulders, and you can’t help but curl into it. A blanket, colored with different shades of red. A blanket you’d made years ago and given to Mingyu as a gift. Your hand goes tight around its edge, drawing it tighter around your body. Mingyu’s hand lingers on your back, hesitant as if he wants to speak but doesn’t know what to say.

“I’m sleeping in the spare room.” You announce, and Mingyu’s hand drops from your back.

“You’re not even- we're not even going to talk about this?” You turn your head, your soaked body still shaking from the cold. Or maybe from the fight. Maybe both.

“What’s there to talk about?” You press, the lack of emotion in your voice startling your lover. “You’ve clearly made up your mind about us. About me.”

Mingyu gnaws on his lip, and you stand there patiently.

“You know I didn’t mean that, Y/N.”

“Do I?” Your head tilts. “I thought I...I thought that you cared about me, Gyu.”

It’s his turn to flinch.

“I do. I swear I do.” You don’t respond this time. Your back is turned to him again, and you hear a shuddering breath escape him. “Y/N, please look at me.”

You don’t.

Mingyu touches your shoulder.

You step away.

His hand drops.

“We’ll talk tomorrow, Mingyu.”

“Promise?”

The door to the guest room shuts, and the apartment is quiet once more. A crack of thunder, a sob muffled behind a hand.

I’m sorry

TAGLIST: @juyeonszn @leejihoonownsmyheart

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bronx-bomber87 · 1 year ago

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Happy Weekend all :) First off sorry I forgot to thank everyone last ep. My Chris rage was immense so it knocked me off kilter haha So thank you all for reading ❤️ We’ve hit another fav on my list. The dance alone makes this episode amazing. It’s also the things leading up to it that are also great. This definitely has the why aren’t you together moment? Excited to cover their iconic dance. Let’s get going.

4x18 Backstabbers

We begin with Tim telling Lucy they're not riding together. That she's with Nolan and he's with Aaron today. I love Lucy’s little nose scrunch. Clearly not happy she has to ride with someone else for her shift. Riding with Nolan wasn’t on her list of things she wanted to do today and it shows. I can't get over her dislike of being separated from him for the day. I do love her sassy reply though. Can’t let him know not riding with him bums her out.

Also we all know he would rather be riding with her as well. But you know neither of them can admit as such. Because god forbid we do that eh? So they bury their feelings in their banter per usual. Definitely got that old married couple energy going on here. The sassy eyebrow pump she does is so cute. Tim is gonna miss her we all know it haha We also get that Tall/Smol shot I love so much as well. Always happy to get one of those.

They pass Webb on their way to the kit room. He tells Tim what a good job he did on the Stewart case. Lucy is smiling then putting things together. Saying isn’t she the one who solved it? The one who made the connection? Also that she got punched in the face while arresting him...

Tim cutely says ‘You’re jealous.’ Clearly amused by this reaction of her's. Then goes on a classic Tim rant. Asking if that’s why she does this job? For high fives from Webb? We all know that’s not what she’s asking for here Timothy. Lucy tells him it would be nice to have some recognition. It is part of the reason she took being his side. Amongst other reasons….

He then does what he thinks she wants and it backfires. Pretty badly. This isn’t what she meant by recognition. I do love him winking at her while he’s explaining it to Webb. Saying how he couldn’t have solved it without her. All it does it make Tim look even better. Because Webb just continues to praise Tim. He can't possibly think that's what she wanted LOL Now it looks like he is being selfless and sharing credit.

Lucy’s reaction is hilarious when he asks her if she feels better? Cleary not Timothy... She is still pissed because this is after the fact. She wanted the recognition when the case happened. Not after when Tim’s name was already the arresting officer. It's not the same thing. Oh my love you aren’t getting what’s she’s throwing down right now ha Her body language and facial expression expressing her discontent with him.

Aaron joins them and makes the worst decision he could. Kissing Tim’s ass. Idk why he would think this was a good idea. Especially after riding with the female version of Tim LOL Tim is straight forward with Aaron. Tells him to not kiss ass and set up the shop. He turns to Lucy looking for advice. Wisdom of any kind. She is the Tim dictionary after all. No one better to go to about this man.

Unfortunately she is too caught up in own thing to dispense anything helpful. Just goes off on a rant about credit. How he shouldn't let Tim just steal it from him. Poor Aaron is like 'uhhh but I’m a rookie…so that is not helpful at all' ha I love her pout and restlessness as the scene ends. Lucy is so salty and needs to vent. Aaron is not your guy for that sadly.

We catch up to Lucy full on ranting to Nolan about Tim. Telling him it’s not even about the recognition. I mean…it kinda is ha She continues on saying how every single case file has Tim’s name on it. How she’s the one filing all the reports for it. She asks Nolan how she’s supposed to take on more responsibility if no one knows what she’s capable of? Nolan being the dope he is tries to get factual on her. *sigh* John this is why you are just friends LOL You clueless dope.

Asking her 'Wasn’t riding with Tim her idea?' Lucy says yes cause he takes on all the high profile cases. Which is huge for her. Nolan adds in that she is seeing a down side to that now? She nods and he continues to put his foot in his mouth cause Nolan. Saying she should just get reassigned then. Tim would understand. (I don’t know he would...) Also that's not what she wants at all. She was upset they weren't riding for one day together. So there's no way she's walking away from being his aide.

Nolan is being such a man right now. Trying to solve her problems when she just wants to vent. To hear ‘yeah that sucks .’ Or ‘Tim should give you credit’ I love her calling him out on it. Like listen John you are here to listen not problem solve haha Luckily he does as such and repeats back that Tim is the "worst" (I mean he’s not she just stupid frustrated with her work hubby ha). Lucy’s cute little smile after he does is adorable. Like good boy Nolan. ha

We flit back to Tim and Aaron. He tells Tim he’s ready for any test he wants to throw his way. Tim says that’s why he’s not going to. That Harper is a great T.O. (Look how far we’ve come since s2. My heart.) He’s been on the job long enough he doesn't need them. He lets Aaron know today isn’t about if he will make it. It’s about what kind of officer he will become when he does.

Aaron asks Tim how they’re gonna find that out? Tim says by figuring out his superpower. He starts to list everyone’s. He’s spot on for Harper and of course for his girl. I mean her empathy is one of her biggest strengths. She is very good at adapting to any situation. I mean her biggest adaption was Tim at first. Hehe It is her superpower no doubt.

He then says Nolan talks a lot LMAO Aaron isn’t disagreeing….I love Tim’s answer to his follow up question. That if he doesn’t have one he’ll be Smitty Haha Aaron looking nervous and feeling like this is still a Tim test somehow…I mean it is. Just a character based one. Which is pretty damn important to Tim Bradford. So...you should be nervous. lol

This next portion for Tim and Aaron is hilarious. They’re called to a guy magnet fishing. He tells them he found something strange. It’s a sword. Aaron mentions a murder that involved decapitation recently. Tim tells the man they’ll need to take it. He looks bummed but says at least he can get money on something else.

Aaron panics and levels Tim. Knocks him to the ground immediately. Poor Tim and his back issues. I have those now it hurts to watch him tackle him to the ground like that. Tim makes a crack saying 'Clearly being able to identify fake grenades is not his super power.' LOL Aaron makes a face and we see Tim’s back covered in goose crap hahaha Oh Aaron is bombing left and right.

They're back in the shop and Tim is eating his potential super powers for breakfast. Kudos to Aaron for suggesting more and more though. Except Tim is destroying every single of one of them…It’s so funny to watch. I mean it’s not funny for poor Aaron LOL Just more proof no challenges him like Lucy. Truly no one can match what she brings to their dynamic. You know Tim feels it when she’s absent. So he is just mowing down Aaron in the process haha poor guy. I do love Aaron though. He’s such a goober and it shows through out the rest of this season and into the next. He was a great addition to the cast.

Tim and Aaron respond to domestic call. This man just got paroled and wants to see his son. His ex is fighting him saying he can't be anywhere near them. Tim takes the man's ID to run him and Aaron asks to talk to the man. He does a good job calming him down with his own experience. Tells him I’m sure he’s dreamt of this moment for years.

He’s also sure this wasn’t how he expected it to go down. That he needs to remember it’s been years for them. They've been living their lives while he was gone. So they might not be ready but someday they might. Gives him his card and the number for James if he needs it. They can help him get back on his feet when he's ready for it. Tim walks up and tells him good job. Finally got one right. Yay Aaron.

Tim walks up to Aaron at the wedding reception to discuss his super power. Wanting to make sure he knows what it is. He's been searching for their entire time together. Tim tells him that it’s experience with being incarcerated. Clearly he has a connection to those that have been in prison. That empathy and compassion is what he can build his career on. Gah I love when he’s in teaching mode. Fine af. *fans self* Teach away sexy. This scene ends with funny bit about the park moment haha I enjoyed them together a lot.

This next moment is an all time fav of mine. Tim surprising Lucy not once but twice with his actions. First off by bringing up that dance he 'owes' her from 3x14. You know Tim kinda made the first move with her more than once before they were together. 3x14 being one and this being another. He’s the one to bring the dance back up. A dance I’m sure she never expected him to bring back up. We all know he wanted to dance with her and this was his sly way of doing that. So he uses the guise of saying it's still owed to her.

Tim ‘I don’t do weddings’ Bradford wants to dance with his girl. This is his way of getting that but still being himself about it. Acting like he has to do this. When I’m sure that dance has been on his mind on and off since that moment happened. We see right through you Timothy but it's ok hehe The absolute sass from Lucy is on par for her. Always toe to toe with him. She too is excited he’s cashing this in. You can tell she is happy he remembered this dance. A debt was owed hehe Tim making a face but you know he loves it. She is his equal in so many ways but especially for banter. Tells him like it is and he keeps coming back for more.

Ahhh these two idiots in love. Looks at this man when she takes his hand. That is his full blown Lucy smile. That 'I’m a goner for this woman and would do anything for her.' smile. She is the only one who brings that out in him. He’s so love with her at this point you’d have to be blind not to see it. He lights up when she takes his hand and makes a classic Lucy expression at him. You could power a city with that smile of his. The way they walk onto the dance floor you'd think they were each others date to this party.

Harper’s daughter earlier said she liked her mom with James. Noting that ‘You’re happy when you’re around him.’ These two are never happier than when they are around each other. Their true self’s come out and they are radiating joy. Look at those two above. They are carefree and light as a feather in this moment. Projecting heart eyes as far as the eye can see. You’re never gonna see them be this way with their current SO’s. They don’t bring out the best in them. Anyone around them can see they’re gone for one another. Except them….

Tim is heart eyes galore for his girl from the minute they hit the dance floor. Lucy is flying pretty high herself. Look at the way she is looking at him in that first gif. Transparent as ever at hiding her feelings for him. Tim starts off with the thing he knows is bugging her. He didn’t spend the day with her but he knows her. Knows it ate at her all day long. He also knows it's something he needs to rectify.

Lucy has simmered down at this point about it. It’s evident in her reply to him. Tim forges forward anyways. I do want to note the eye contact between these two. It never breaks as they speak to each other. It's so intimate. I love him gesticulating his fingers around her hand. Re-wrapping them around hers as he explains himself. It's a cute fidgety thing he does while trying to get what he needs to say out. It's the little things I love so much .

He starts out STRONG complimenting her. Not only complimenting her but saying she is in the top 5 he’s ever trained.(Psst. She was the best one.) No better praise she could receive in this moment than that. Lucy being Lucy has to make a joke. She craves his praise but also can’t handle it at the same time. I feel that girl I’m the same way. Tim is looking down at her with massive heart eyes might I add. Saying he wants her to have a successful career.

He wants to support her career the way she’s always supported his. No hesitation and putting her first. Look at the way she is beaming up at him when he says this. The way she's searching his face as he speaks. Gah how do these two not know they’re in love? Honestly. She looks so enamored with him as he’s talking. Their smiles and heart eyes are so loud. They’re screaming how they feel to the entire party.

Tim shocks her even further with his next set of comments. Lucy is already on cloud 9 as is. He’s asked her to dance, he’s complimented her in the best way and said he wants her career to be successful. She is in serious shock when he tells her he’s listing her on all future reports as the arresting officer. Lucy is in awe of this man right now. Not only for doing this but for how he’s grown. As a person and as a sergeant.

For him to step aside like this and give her the glory. To put her career ahead of his so she can succeed. The way she says ‘But you’re senior officer.’ Reminds me of her in 5x12 being in the same amount of disbelief replying ‘But that’s a desk job….’ Lucy can’t believe what he’s giving her and putting aside. He finishes it off with his version of I love you at this point. Saying she deserves to be recognized. What he's also saying is she deserves to be recognized by him. He's so damn soft in the delivery of his words. His body language also as relaxed as we've ever seen it.

The way he looks at her while he says this. Be still my heart. Screaming his feelings in this moment without realizing. Showing Lucy he hears her and has done something about it. That he cares, wants her to be a success, and that he’s putting her first just like she always has done for him. Lucy is sassy in her retort because she can be. (Ain’t no one else talking to this man the way she does) She is looking up at him with the same amount of affection he's shooting her way. Telling him 'You’re right I do. Thank you.' haha Look at her. She’s saying I love you right back in this moment. *sigh* These two.

Everything about this moment makes me squee. The non stop romantic looks they’re throwing each others way. The way they’re gazing into each other eyes the entire time. Forgetting everyone else there and the fact that they can see this love fest. Then comes the cutest most carefree part. Look at the smiles on these two! They’re so gone for each other at this point. I imagine this would be similar to how they’ll dance at Nolan’s wedding. With a little more closeness and kisses ha

Seriously though. Have we ever seen Tim this happy and relaxed? Only when he’s with her. It’s oozing out of him in S4. The laughing, the smiles, Lucy complimenting his moves. That glorious smile of his when she does. Be more in love you two. If someone just saw these gifs no context. They’d think they were a couple in love having the time of their lives on the dance floor. It’s hard to believe they were dating other people at this point. I mean look at this scene. They look so damn happy together. Truly just enjoying one another’s company.

Lucy is beaming with happiness when he spins her around. How he leans into her as he spins her around. Her laughter as she leans into him after he does. My heart is gonna implode from the cuteness everyone haha There’s a reason it’s one of my all time fav moments. It’s so sweet Imma get diabetic. Such a good episode I cannot. One of my favs of the season. For this moment alone right here. *sigh* I love them. Moments like this I knew were cementing them for s5. Slow burn at its finest.

~~~~

Side notes- non Chenford

James and Nyla ❤️

Grey, Wes and James making the video while Silas critiques them is hilarious. Makes me laugh everytime cause they’re so bad LOL

Thank you again to everyone. You all are the best for your continued support. The likes, comments and reblogs are everything to me see you all in 4x19 :)

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gcslingss · 6 months ago

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hey, everyone!

I hit a 100 followers a few days ago, and I just want to say, I am so grateful, and so thankful to all of you! I'm glad I was able to entertain you with my writing and little rants haha <3

so, as this is a pretty special milestone for me, I'm gonna be writing fics, ficlets and drabbles for all ryan gosling characters based off a few prompt lists that i will link below. THIS IS FOR SEVEN DAYS ONLY.

you can give me a combination of prompts from the same list, or from multiple lists, or just one from one list for any goose - its all upto you, and what you're looking for!

before i get to the prompts lists, I'd just like to thank a few friends on here - so, for my moots!

@bisexualcoltseavers you, shannon, are amazing, so cool (in ken's words), and I am so glad i became friends with you on here. Literally an amazing writer, and you made me such a sucker for colt x ken, no joke. I love hearing your little drabbles everyday and reacting in anguish TO ALL THAT ANGST so much, its such an important part of my day nowadays. thank you for being my friend <3

@hollandstrophyhusband SASCHA. one of the coolest people I've met on here. I think you're a bloody good writer, and all your 'shenanigans' are such a delight to read. you're so careful with character dynamics and make almost EVERYTHING work, and feel super enjoyable. you're also a great person, and I'm glad to be friends with you.

@officer-kd6 my dear val - we ended up becoming friends over a bunch of texts in the god forbidden chats of tumblr, and I'm honestly so glad, because you're so cool, and I love talking to you about anything. I'm so thankful for your interest in my shitty drafts, and I PROMISE that I'll give you the fic you've been asking for soon. ILYSM <3

@cherries-in-wine MY FAVE GIRBLOGGER. you're so pretty, both inside and out, and I really wanna meet you irl one day and rant about whatever we wanna talk about. I absolutely love ur little posts, little vents - your presence on my blog is something I am so thankful for. so thanks for being my friend, aditi <3

and my newer moots that i wanna get closer to (or ur on discord and ill js text u a little letter there): @zsuo @asyrafey @chihuahuamations @flowersomgravee @demon-dai @laff-nelson

thank you to all of you <3

NOW FOR THE PROMPTS!

01. non-verbal angst prompts

02. angry confessions

03. love confessions

04. two-word sentence starters

credits to @poohsources @dumplingsjinson for the prompts :)

please send me all your requests, and I'll try my best to update and post asap - sort of got exams going on, but I will respond and post to your requests for sure! please do send me, I'm so excited to write for y'all <333

#alecfics #happy100 #milestone event #moots #fanfic #writing game #prompts

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otokowrecker · 3 months ago

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Freed from this unholy sophistry

It's done. My Death Mark longfic, Victims to an Unholy Sophistry, is finally finished!! This is a kinda vent post cuz I needa spew but also a appreciation post! Haha!

Ough. Two years. VUS took me two years to finish and that extended time really made me sour towards it. Plus, I have the instant reflex to hate anything I make, haha!

But unfortunately for VUS, it was being written during the worst part of my life so far - a lot has happened in my life during this time - moving into my own place, forcing myself to be more social, family issues and mainly the BIGGGG continual mental spiral - those things being some of reasons it took so long to finish! But because it is tied to this time in my life I can't bring myself to love it. Right now I’m panicking that I didn't do the ending the Justice the Lonely who started writing it wanted. So I'm sorry, past Lonely. I still feel that Rainwater Coffee is my favourite work, even though VUS had themes which I love.

My inspiration for VUS was the manga Sleeping Dead, which I love! The ending was so powerful and beautiful, portrayed so well, I felt empty once it was finished!

But as I said in my author's notes, I am super, super grateful to all the fishes that gave VUS a chance and stuck around!! It means the whole ocean to me!! Despite that being their job, words can't express the gratitude I feel to anyone who checks out my works!! ❤️ I do have a shorter sequel planned for VUS, only because I wanna use a certain guy as an antagonist! (I'm easy to read, you know who it is!) but I want to get other works out of the way, first!!

So again, thank you so, so much if you read VUS and liked it! Knowing that it gave a handful of people some enjoyment is enough for me! ❤️

As a fun bonus, here's the only physical reference for Lady and Mister I have from a while back. I hate having to design clothing, the whole fic everyone just had basic long robe/cloak get-ups when I was thinking about scenes, even though in my head I pictured certain characters having more detailed clothing!

They were a fun duo, weird siblings Vs normal siblings, haha! They're just big fans of the Kujou family, lol!

#spilled words #lonely rambles #bittersweet innit #doodles #death mark #spirit hunter #fanfic #ao3 writer #fanfic writing #satoru mashita #kazou yashiki #shiin #personal

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forjongseong · 2 years ago

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al caer la noche // jay (ENHYPEN)

pairing: secretary!jay x CEO!fem!reader (Part 9 of the series)

genre: office!au, fluff, smut (minors dni) // warning: older reader; Jay calls reader “Boss”; profanity; making out; unprotected sex; creampie; mentions of somnophilia; another 'ex' appears; handjob; 69 (you read that right) // wc: ~10.1k

previous chapters:

part 1 - carmesí part 2 - mi reina part 3 - millones part 3.5 - hasta los dientes part 4 - vente conmigo part 5 - tusa part 5.5 - apaga y vámonos part 6 - versos de placer minisode part 1 - cuando nadie ve part 6.5 - yo te quiero más minisode part 2 -la niña de mis ojos part 7 - aeropuerto minisode part 3 - falling autumn minisode part 4 - night night part 8 - ambulancia minisode part 5 - subtítulos

next chapters:

click here for the masterlist

summary: as the days goes by, your relationship with Jay becomes even more domestic, and it's only about time until you both make it official.

author’s notes: welcome to PART NINE! we've come so far, haven't we?

after feeling off for about a week, I finally managed to finish this. I said I wanted it out before December, but it's only December 3rd now so I guess I am not that far behind.

Recently one of my closest moots, @end-hyphen, just had her birthday! So I am dedicating this part to her since she is the official ambassador of this series HAHA

as for the title of this part, it means "by nightfall" and it is taken from one of maye's song, which also happens to be my favorite.

I hope you'll enjoy reading this part too!

taglist: @jaylaxies @thots4hee @nyanggk @end-hyphen @jayked @yoursjaeyun @maggstar

(send an ask if you want to be added)

You stirred in bed and changed your position to face the right side of it. When you felt that the bed was empty, you slowly opened your eyes and let yourself adjust to the brightness of the room. Judging from the sunrays, it was probably close to 9 in the morning. It usually takes you a while to gather your consciousness whenever you wake up, and for a second you thought you were still dreaming when you heard the faint sound of music from outside.

Recognizing that the tune playing was Frankie Valli’s Can’t Take My Eyes Off You, you walked out the bedroom door slowly and found Jay mopping the floor, using the mop handle like a microphone stand.

“Pardon the way that I stare, there’s nothing else to compare.”

You leaned on the doorway and crossed your arms in front of your chest, amused at the sight.

“The sight of you leaves me weak, there are no words left to speak.”

You chuckled when you saw Jay clutching his chest like he was in immense pain, still unaware that you were watching him.

“But if you feel like I feel, please let me know that it’s real…”

Jay started mopping again as he continued to sing, beginning to reach places on the floor that he had missed before. You were sure he was going to catch you looking in a moment.

“You’re just too good to be true,” Jay sang and his eyes finally land on you. “Can’t take my eyes off you.”

You were actually amazed that he was not surprised to find you awake, since he really was the jumpy type, but when he ditched the mop to pull you into him all you could do was laugh. He spun you around to the music and continued to sing, this time right to your face.

“I love you, baby, and if it’s quite alright, I need you, baby.”

The way he moved you around with ease and sang to you with theatrical expressions made you unable to shake off the huge grin on your face. He led you through your moves with utmost grace and only stopped when the song reached the end of the chorus.

“Let me love you,” he sang, dipping you and kissing your collarbones. “Good morning, my queen.”

When he pulled you back up, you smashed your lips into his to thank him for the lovely serenade. He even stepped back from how sudden you jumped into him, but then he placed his arms around your waist firmly as he let you kiss him with passion.

“I feel like I should be rewarding you for cleaning up,” you breathed into his mouth as your hands clenched his t-shirt.

“That’s bullshit. I live here too so it’s only my responsibility,” Jay responded, rubbing your back gently. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I really need to finish mopping.”

You giggled when he attacked your cheeks with kisses, and when he let go of you, you headed straight to the kitchen. Last night, you entertained Jake, Heeseung, and Sunghoon to a lovely dinner, since game night was now officially held at your place. Whenever they came over, Jay was always in charge of cooking, while you were always responsible for cleaning. However, the boys stayed longer than usual last night, and because you were having so much fun with them, you decided to push back cleaning to the next morning.

Staring at the spotless counters and empty sink, you blinked before checking the drawers and cabinets for the clean utensils. You looked back at Jay, who coincidentally was also looking at you, and he smiled and gave you a wink.

“Jay,” you whined, closing the drawers and crossing your arms again. “I already said I would clean this morning.”

“And I’m happy to take care of it,” Jay answered, not looking back at you. He was done mopping and was now about to put back all the stuff to their right places. “Don’t worry about it.”

The gears in your head began turning, figuring out the best way to show Jay your gratitude, and the ideas that popped up in your head ranged from buying him a gift to, well, giving him head. You then concluded you would do everything, but not all at once.

---

The sun was setting and the lighting made your office turn into an orange hue. You checked the time on your phone, wondering why it was taking so long for Jay to return to the office. There were no missed calls or text messages either, so you decided to just call him, thinking that he’d get back to you in an instant if he was unable to pick it up.

“Hey,” Jay’s voice echoed throughout the room as you put him on loudspeaker. “I really was about to call you.”

“Is the meeting over?” You asked, eyes scanning your monitor. You then heard a little bit of rustling and faint sounds of people. “Where are you?”

“I just arrived at the supermarket. It’s on my way back and I figured there were a couple of things that need restocking.”

He’s really a malewife at this point, you thought.

“Okay, so does that mean you’re not coming back?” You typed for a while before clicking save on a document. “I’ll see you at home?”

“Yeah.” You could hear Jay fumbling with the phone. “Hey, can you turn on the camera real quick?”

You picked up your phone and did as he said. You were then greeted with the aisle filled with sanitary products. Frowning, you waited for Jay to give you context.

“I checked last night and I think you’re running out of pads, but I forgot which one you use,” Jay explained, stepping closer to the shelf of pads. “Is it this one?” He asked, pointing to a pink packaging.

You were so touched that all you could do was smile and cover your mouth.

“Baby? I think someone is looking at me weird,” Jay said, voice sounding worried. “Nothing to see here, Ma’am, I’m just picking up stuff for my girlfriend.”

You realized Jay was explaining himself to a lady passing by, and you just laughed silently. “It’s the one to your right, babe.”

“Oh, right,” Jay responded. “You use the one with wings, huh. Why are they so fucking expensive?”

“Because being a woman is fucking expensive, love,” you chuckled as you replied to him. “Now get out of there before someone thinks you’re a pervert.”

“See you soon, Boss,” Jay ended the call with a smooching sound to the phone.

You decided to call it a day and started tidying up your things. You placed your empty glass on the minibar since the janitor would always start cleaning from there, and as you gathered all your belongings into your bag, you heard two knocks on the door.

“Yes, Hwiyoung.”

Hwiyoung peeked into your office while holding up his phone. “Park told me to get your car ready. Are you done for the day?”

The way you did not even tell Jay that you were done with work, and that he just assumed, but did it correctly, made you feel butterflies. It was not the first time he did it either.

“Yes, I am,” you smiled at your second assistant as you held up your bag. “You can tell the others to get off work too if they’re all done for the day. I don’t want anyone staying late.”

“Alright, Miss. Does that mean I can make plans?” Hwiyoung asked you while he texted the group chat.

“Of course you can.” You walked to the door and waited until Hwiyoung was done texting. “Plans with a girlfriend?”

“Huh?” Hwiyoung blinked at you, obviously caught off-guard by your question.

You laughed at his reaction and gave him a pat on his shoulder. “You’re a good man, Hwi. If you’re dating someone, let me know. I need to make sure she’s not taking advantage of my assistant.”

Hwiyoung blushed at your comment and excused himself to go back to his desk. You said goodbye to him as you walked out of the office, smiling because you had never seen Hwiyoung so flustered before.

---

It was still early into the night, but you were already in your bed scrolling through your phone with the lights off. Jay told you he was going to hit the gym for a couple hours before heading home, so you had dinner without him and went on to shower and do your skincare routine. After a good twenty minutes of just laughing at TikTok videos, you began to feel sleepy, so you texted Jay that you were going to bed. His reply came to you late, as he only checked his phone once he was done, and by the time he arrived home, you were fast asleep.

The sound of him walking back and forth and even showering in the bathroom did not wake you up at all, and sometimes Jay was amazed at how you were actually a heavy sleeper. After washing up, Jay carefully climbed onto your shared bed and wrapped his arms around you, spooning you from behind. The coldness of his skin actually made you wake up, and you flinched a little when his skin made contact on yours.

“Sorry, baby,” Jay spoke softly into your ear before he leaned in to kiss your bare shoulder. “Did I wake you up?”

“You feel cold,” you commented, voice croaky from the sleep. You then turned around to face him. “Did you take a cold shower?”

Jay nodded. “Sorry for not spending the night with you.”

“It’s okay,” you yawned, hiding your face in Jay’s neck as he chuckled and stroked your back. “Are you not cold?”

“I’m not because I have you.” Jay rubbed your sides and kissed your forehead. “You’re always so warm.”

You hummed as you brought one hand up to caress Jay’s face. “I got the right temperature to shelter you from the cold.”

Jay chuckled at your statement and began kissing your face. You let him, not bothering to reciprocate because you knew that he knew you were too tired and only half awake. He kissed along your jawline, your neck, and stopped to suck your skin there once he heard you moan. Your grip on his shirt tightened as he moved down to your collarbone. He then grazed his lips over the top of your chest, tugging down the dainty camisole you had on to expose one of your breasts. When he latched on to your nipple, your fingers got lost in his hair, and you whined as he began sucking.

“Jay,” you whispered, “I don’t think I have the energy to do anything.”

He merely groaned at you as a response, too focused on giving your breasts the same amount of pleasure. You felt his teeth graze your skin and you hissed, pulling his hair back so he would look up at you.

“If you want to fuck, you’re gonna have to do all the work,” you said, your eyelids heavy as you struggled to speak. You could already feel your arousal dripping, so you figured he might as well proceed.

Jay moved back up to level with your face, and he touched your chin with his fingers as he kissed your lips. You sighed into him, and you were already feeling cold from the loss of contact from his hands on your body.

“Turn around,” he whispered.

You did as he said, and he quickly pulled you into his embrace again, with one arm under you and his hand cupping your breast, while his other hand pulled down your panties to your knees. You whimpered when you felt his cold fingers palming your core, and when he drew a stripe along your folds, you shivered.

“God, baby,” Jay grunted as he pulled down his boxers. “So wet.”

You placed your hand above his, guiding him to squeeze your breasts while he rubbed his shaft along your folds. He coated himself with your wetness until he felt it was time to align himself with you. You felt his tip grazing your entrance and you arched your back, pushing your ass towards his hip. He held you firmly by your waist as he entered you, bottoming out in one go, and all you could let out was a shaky breath.

“Fuck,” Jay said as he began thrusting in and out of you. “You’re so fucking warm. So fucking tight.”

You moaned in pleasure at the friction he was causing, and you guided his hand to make him rub your clit.

“Do you want me to go slow, baby?” He asked, leaning in to kiss your cheek.

You tilted your head so you could reach his lips and kissed him. “Any way you want,” you answered with a whisper.

Jay began gradually increasing his speed, sliding his dick in and out of you with ease from how much you were dripping for him. His thumb pressing on your clit made you feel like you were reaching your high even sooner, so you did not bother concealing the almost pornographic moans that you let out for him.

“Not too loud, my queen.” Jay kissed your neck and gently sucked on your skin. “I don’t want anyone else hearing your beautiful moans.”

Your hand traveled backwards, cupping his ass and pushing him closer to you, desperate to feel more of him. He chuckled and continued to rock his hips into you, and when he felt your grasp around his wrist tightening, he knew that you were close.

“Cum with me?” He asked, almost like a proposal. You nodded, and with a couple more strokes you arched your back as he released his cum inside of you, with you reaching your high just seconds after. Your walls clenched and milked him dry, and you began to feel the sting on your shoulder from how hard he was biting you there.

Jay’s arms wrapped around your waist, keeping you close to him as he did not show any signs of wanting to pull out of you soon. You stroked his arm lovingly, even bringing up one of his hand up to your lips so you can kiss it.

He chuckled, kissing the back of your head as a response. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, my prince,” you sighed. There was a brief moment of silence before you spoke again. “If you feel like you need me and I’m asleep, you can fuck me if you want. I mean I don’t have to be awake for it, right?”

You could feel Jay freeze when you uttered the last question. “Baby?” You called, tapping on his arm.

“You mean like… somnophilia?” Jay asked. When you nodded, Jay carefully slipped out of you and made you face his way. He pulled his boxers back up and you also put your panties back on during the process. “You can’t be serious.”

“You have my consent,” you stared into his eyes and intertwined your fingers with his. “I don’t mind.”

“Does that mean you would do the same thing to me too?” He asked, genuinely curious. The shift in the subject made you giggle.

“Do you want me to?” You asked back. “Like, if it gets too hard to wake you up, do you want me to try sucking you off while you’re still asleep?”

Jay closed his eyes and bit his lips, almost as if he was imagining it happening. “Please don’t judge me, but that actually sounds hot.”

You chuckled weakly, and it made Jay laugh with you too. He placed his hand behind your neck and pulled you into a kiss.

“Then you have my consent too,” he murmured into your lips. You mouthed a ‘good’, and the next thing you remember was the two of you drifting off to sleep.

---

It was the last week of November, and it had been a routine for you to visit Jay’s parents every last week of the month. Before you and Jay drive to his parents’ house on Saturday mornings, you would always grocery shop with him on Friday evenings. For this very reason, you cut your working day short and sent your employees home early as well.

The moment you entered the supermarket, though, you suddenly felt lethargic. You tailed Jay as he grabbed a cart and started walking towards the poultry section, and before he could grab anything, you tugged his sleeves.

“I’m actually really sleepy right now, I think I need coffee,” you said, voice already sounding weak. “Can I just wait at Starbucks?”

“Of course.” Jay let go of the cart to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “Are you okay?”

You nodded for reassurance and gave him a smile. He then kissed your forehead before you turned around and walked towards the Starbucks that was strategically located next door. You checked the app on your phone and noticed they had a new menu, and you had a buy one get one free coupon. You decided to try out both the new drinks, figuring that Jay would want one once he was done shopping.

There was a line before you and when you sat down to wait for your order, it took a while for the barista to make your drinks. Once they called out your name, you quickly went to grab your drinks and waddled back to your table, setting the two cups in front of you. One was a gingerbread latte and the other was a red velvet oatmilk latte. You stared at them both, not realizing that Jay was already steps away from you.

“Well that was quick,” you commented, gesturing for Jay to take the seat in front of you.

“I already had a list,” Jay said, showing his phone and the shopping list that all had checkmarks on them. “What did you get?”

“New drinks. I wanted to try both but I don’t know which one I actually want,” you eyed the drinks and Jay smiled at you, noticing how you were already able to get rid of the fatigue even though you had not consumed any caffeine yet. “I’m gonna sip both.”

Jay watched calmly as you unwrapped a straw and punched it through the lid of the gingerbread latte. You gave it a swirl before sipping it curiously, and you stared into a distance. Jay was observing your face, waiting for a reaction. When your nose scrunched up, not in pleasure but in confusion, he chuckled softly.

“That’s weird,” you muttered bluntly, not exactly speaking to anyone. “Let me try this one.”

You used the same straw to sip on the red velvet drink, and your face lit up the moment you tasted it. Jay was now touching the gingerbread cup and looking at how pretty the color of the drink was, complete with the whipped cream and red sprinkles on top.

“This one is better,” you said, taking your straw out of the red velvet drink. You then pushed the cup towards Jay and handed him a new straw before putting your own back into the gingerbread latte and vigorously stirring the whipped cream into it.

Jay frowned. “I thought you said it’s better, why are you giving it to me?”

“Because you should give people the stuff that you like,” you answered, remembering that it was a lesson your parents taught you when you were young. “I’ll finish the gingerbread latte.”

“It’s okay, baby, I’ll drink that one.”

“Let me suffer the consequences of my own choice.” You raised a hand to stop Jay from taking your drink away from you. Jay snorted at your comment.

“Okay,” he said, wiping off the smirk on his face as he could not believe how adorable you were acting. “Can I at least try both too?”

You nodded and waited for Jay to sip the red velvet, and then you reluctantly handed over your gingerbread latte to him. He gave the exact same reaction that you made when you took the first sip and you giggled seeing his face.

“That is strong,” Jay commented after clearing his throat. “Alright, thanks for the drink, babe.”

You just smiled and continued to sip your gingerbread latte, chugging it down like there was no tomorrow since you did not want it to go to waste.

---

You and Jay arrived at his parent’s house early in the evening, when it was hours after lunch and was supposedly the best time for a coffee break. As soon as Jay pulled up in the driveway, you let yourself out and started bringing all the belongings towards the house. Jay’s mother opened the door just as you reached the porch and shrieked in surprise, seeing your face covered with the pile of groceries in your hands.

“Oh, dear Y/N, come here,” she said in a rush, taking half of your load off of you. You then grinned and leaned in as she kissed your cheek to greet you. “Thank God you arrived while the sun is still up.”

“Why? What’s the problem?” You asked as you ditched your shoes for the indoor slippers. You followed Jay’s mother to the kitchen once you checked that Jay has got the rest of the stuff from the car.

“Jay’s father, and yours too, soon, needs to go shopping for this Christmas party we’re attending. His suit doesn’t fit him anymore and I need his accessories to match mine.”

You nodded and finally realized where Jay has gotten his fashion sense from. “What’s the plan?”

“We can prepare dinner while the men go out shopping. Fun, right?”

You caught a paprika that almost rolled off the counter and smiled. “I’d love that, Mrs. Park.”

“Oh,” she waved off her hand at you once she was done setting the groceries on the island. “Enough with the formalities. What do you call your mother?”

“Mom?” You answered but asked at the same time.

“Alright, then just call me eomma so you don’t get confused,” Jay’s mother smiled warmly at you and put her hands on her hips. “So what should we start with?”

You were still in the middle of processing the shift in the way you were supposed to address Jay’s parents when Jay walked into the kitchen with his jacket already off and hanging on his arm, twirling the car keys on his finger.

“Appa just said you wanted me to take him shopping?” Jay asked his mother, kissing her on the cheek.

Jay’s mother merely nodded before looking back at you. “And you can call his dad appa too, okay?”

You smiled sheepishly as you nodded, and then you noticed Jay looking at you and then his mom. Jay’s father then appeared, looking all neat and stylish, brushing his hair back with a comb.

“Ready to go, son?”

“Are you going to make her cook? Eomma, she has zero experience.”

You scoffed at Jay’s remark while his mother roared with laughter. You then dragged Jay by his arm and made him walk towards his father to shoo him away, not forgetting to reach out to Jay’s father for a side hug.

“Kart later when you get back, Appa!” You said as you cheerfully waved at him and Jay walking away.

“Oh, it feels nice to be called appa by a daughter,” he said, placing a hand over his chest sentimentally. Jay rolled his eyes and just dragged his father to the front door.

You returned to the kitchen and washed your hand, noticing that Jay’s mother was already unwrapping some of the produce and laying all of them out on the island. You took the apron that she had prepared for you, and as you put it on you decided to stand strategically next to her.

“So, did he ask you yet?”

For some reason you knew what she meant even without her providing any more context. You cleared your throat before answering.

“Technically, yes, but he was kinda out of it,” you observed how Jay’s mother was chopping the paprika, and once you got it she handed over the task to you.

“What does that mean?” She asked, moving on to prepare other ingredients.

“He was drunk when he asked me.”

“Oh, that punk.”

You let out an unladylike cackle as a response towards Jay’s mother’s unfiltered feelings. You continued to cook with her, following every instruction and trying your best to keep up with the pace. In between activities, you also ended up sharing your biggest insecurities as well as your worries, and by the time cooking was done you were almost a crying mess.

“I just don’t want to let anybody down, Eomma,” you said as you choked back a tear.

“Sweetheart.” Jay’s mother turned to face you, wiping her hands on her apron before she put her hand under your chin to tilt your face up. “You’re not letting anybody down as long as you love him. And believe me, he adores you.”

You pouted and let a tear run down your face. Jay’s mother clicked her tongue and quickly wiped your tears away.

“Whatever your decision is,” she continued, “I’m sure he would respect it. And if he doesn’t, you tell me. So I can beat his ass.”

Her comment made you chuckle softly as another tear fell down your face, and because you were overwhelmed you opted to rest yourself in her embrace, hunching over since Jay’s mother was a little shorter than you. She rubbed your back in an effort to comfort you, and you squeaked a little ‘thank you’ in the middle of your sobs.

---

The drive back home was somewhat calm and comforting. Jay made you put on a playlist that he had specifically made for a night drive, which contained songs that were uplifting enough that it would keep the driver awake, but at the same time chill enough to keep the passengers content. You tapped your fingers on your thigh to the beat of the current song playing, and as the car stopped at a red light, Jay intertwined his fingers with yours and pulled your hand to kiss your knuckles.

You did notice that Jay loved showing you how much he cares for you through physical touch. You didn’t mind, and you did let him know that the way you showed him love was different. So on moments like this, where he would initiate contact, you would always smile to yourself, or to him, to acknowledge his form of expression.

This time was slightly different, though. You shifted in your seat and turned to face him, reaching out for a hug. He embraced you without question, also while keeping an eye on the red light.

“All good, babe?” He asked right in your ear as he stroked your hair gently.

You nodded before tilting your head to kiss him on the cheek. “I talked a lot with your mother today.”

The light turned yellow and Jay pulled back, rubbing your arm lovingly before putting his hands back on the steering wheel. “Is it something I should be concerned about?”

“No,” you answered softly. “But I’m loving the monthly meetups we have with them. Promise we’ll never skip it?”

Jay smiled at your words, keeping his eyes on the road. “Promise.”

When you arrived back home, Jay excused himself to go shower first while you checked your kitchen cabinets to decide on a hot beverage for the night. Your TV was already showing Netflix, and it had become almost a tradition for you and Jay to watch one movie before you go to sleep on Saturday nights, that was if you were not staying at his parents’ house, of course.

You decided on chamomile tea, and by the time you brought the two mugs to the coffee table, Jay walked out to the living room with a towel around his neck and a bottle of micellar water and a pack of cotton pads in his hands. You looked up at him in question, as you were seated on the floor, and he calmly put the stuff right next to you on the table before making himself comfortable on the sofa.

“So you can take your makeup off here instead of the bedroom,” he said, not waiting for you to actually question him.

Your heart did a flip at the simple gesture, so you got up on your knees and shuffled towards him, pouting your lips so he could kiss them. He did, and as you turned back around he slapped your ass playfully.

“I’ve noticed that you’ve been slapping my ass quite often,” you commented, taking a cotton pad and drenching it with micellar water. “Do you like it that much?”

“Can’t really blame me. You’ve got a cute ass,” Jay shrugged, reaching for the remote.

You snorted as you started removing your makeup. “You can do it more.”

“Really?” Jay froze with the remote in his hands. “You mean like in bed too?”

You found it amusing that he became so intrigued at the idea of spanking you. You chuckled to yourself and quickly finished cleaning your face so you could join Jay on the sofa. You snuggled into him and as you predicted, he put an arm around you before resting his palm on your ass.

“Depending on the mood,” you said, looking up to him and placing your hand on his cheek. “You can spank me.”

“Yes,” Jay cheered, emphasizing the S as he leaned in to kiss you, squeezing your ass and making you chuckle into his mouth. After a short game of tug-of-war with your tongues, you rest your head on Jay’s lap and lied sideways facing the TV, telling him to start the movie that you already picked.

---

“Where is it again?”

You looked at Jay through your vanity mirror as you were clearing the table and rearranging your skincare products. He was putting on a shirt and as he popped his head out from the collar he turned to look at you while brushing his hair back.

“At this café at a mall. I forgot but I’ll text you the address later.” Jay grabbed the jacket that he hung behind the door and spritzed his perfume on it.

“How long do you think you’re going to be there?” You asked again, this time not looking at him as you were focused on putting your perfume collection in order of most used to least used.

Jay looked up at the ceiling to think for a split second before replying. “I’m not sure, babe. Maybe two hours tops? I’m pretty sure I’ll just be talking to my inner circle.”

“Did Heeseung go to the same high school as you?” You turned your Diptyque bottle to make it face the front, and then you turned around to face Jay, bringing your legs up to the ottoman you were sitting on.

Jay shook his head. “I met him in college,” Jay said as he put on his jacket and walked towards you. You looked up at him and he leaned in to give you a peck on your cheek. “I’ll keep you updated. Don’t mute your phone.”

He knew that your phone was almost always on mute, and it made you miss a couple of texts from him before. You chuckled and just nodded at him. “Have fun at the reunion,” you said, pulling him in for a hug and resting your cheek on his stomach.

Jay smiled and stroked your hair for a while before pulling away, not forgetting to blow you a kiss once he left the bedroom. You sighed and decided to walk over to your desk outside to do some work in advance before Monday comes.

You played your most upbeat playlist and ended up lip syncing and just swaying to all the songs most of the time, only managing to do a tiny bit of work. The whole time you were also texting Isa and Yoon in your group chat since they happened to be online at the same time. You then realized you had an unread text from Jay, and it was the location of his high school reunion.

It had been almost three hours since he left, and when you glanced outside the window you noticed that the sun was almost setting. You were sure their activity was just late lunch, but you did not know how many people came or how long they were actually going to hang out. You let Jay know that you were going to go see him there, claiming that you had to get something at the mall too.

Just as you arrived at the mall, dropped off by Heeseung, your phone vibrated and you saw that Jay texted you that the party had moved to a different café but still at the same mall. You paused in your tracks and quickly searched for the café location on your phone. At the same time, Jay spotted you from a distance, and he sent you another text as he smiled, keeping his eyes on you.

“Is that her?”

Jay looked at the girl who sat beside him, Lucy, who was eyeing him and his phone the whole time. He shifted in his seat before he nodded, and he caught the glint of disapproval in her eyes.

“Guys,” she said, flipping her hair back to look at the rest of the group. “Jay’s auntie is here to pick him up.”

Some of the people laughed, while Jay’s inner circle looked at him warily from across the table. Jay scoffed and shook his head, knowing that Lucy was just saying that as a joke, but he decided that it would be better for him to go see you, instead of inviting you to the lion’s den.

“I’ll be right back,” Jay said, mainly to his three friends in front of him, before he stood up and walked out of the café.

You still had your nose buried in your phone when you heard Jay call your name. He came running to you and immediately pulling you into a hug, and you were just confused because he was acting like he hadn’t seen you for days.

“Dammit, I swore I was about to locate the café,” you murmured into his shoulders before melting into his embrace and hugging him back. “What is going on?”

“Nothing,” Jay reassured you, rubbing your back before pulling away from the hug. “Give me two minutes and I’ll be with you.”

“I thought you’re still catching up with your friends? It’s fine, I can walk around,” you peered over his shoulder and saw that a couple of people from inside the café were looking at your direction.

Jay moved to shield you from their stares and gave you a warm smile. “I’ve talked with them enough. I’d rather keep you company now. Two minutes, okay? Don’t go anywhere.”

You nodded and watched as Jay basically sprinted back into the café. You decided to turn your back on them and just mindlessly scroll on your phone, waiting for him to come back. It didn’t even take him two minutes to find his place beside you, putting an arm around your waist and kissing the top of your head. You were genuinely curious about the sudden display of affection, but you decided to just ask about it at home.

---

You changed out of your outfit into a comfy lacy bra and pajama shorts, and you used a dainty kimono as a cover up since it was a little chilly. Jay was seated on the sofa with his white shirt and grey joggers, replying to a couple of messages on his phone.

“Anything interesting happened at the reunion?” You asked as you grabbed a bottle of vitamin water from the fridge.

“No, it was just a bunch of reminiscing old memories. Like talking about our teachers and stuff,” Jay replied. He continued to scroll on his phone and did not budge when you sat beside him.

“I would love to say hi to your friends, you know,” you placed your drink on the coffee table before leaning back on the sofa. “Why do I feel like you didn’t want me there?”

You noticed that Jay stopped scrolling and his thumb just hovered over the screen. You fixed your position and pulled both your legs up the sofa, and you made yourself face Jay, leaning your head sideways on the headrest.

“Is there something you’re not telling me?” You asked again, this time with a voice so soft that you almost squeaked.

Jay instantly felt regret and put his phone away on the table. He shifted in his seat before facing you, taking one of your hands and just playing with your fingers as he spoke.

“I know I never ask about your exes, and that you only told me about them when it was relevant. I don’t know if you even want to know about my past, but I feel like I should be telling you anyway.”

You frowned as you stared at Jay, who was completely focusing his gaze on your hands and how his fingers were intertwined with them.

“Aside from catching up with my close friends, I feel like going to that reunion was a mistake. The rest of the kids are jerks anyways.”

You cleared your throat and straightened your position. “It sounds like you’re saying everything but nothing at the same time.”

Jay took a deep breath as he let go of your hands and buried his face in his palms. He then leaned back on the sofa and decided to stare at the ceiling as he continued to speak.

“I mentioned you to my friends, and everyone else were busy with their own conversations, so I really didn’t notice that Lucy was actually listening.”

You calmly listened, resting your head again on the sofa.

“Technically, she’s not my ex, but we were… something.”

And just like that, the image from hours ago became clear. Your mind rewound to when Jay shielded you from their view, and you did catch a glimpse of a girl who was looking at the both of you with the most bitter expression on her face.

“Like friends with benefits?” You decided to just shoot your question.

“No!” Jay almost jerked up in his seat. “No, nothing like that. It was just like a situationship, if that’s what people call it these days.”

You stretched your arm on the headrest, fingers almost grazing Jay’s ear. He tilted his head to look at you, and you tilted your chin to ask him to continue.

“She just made comments that I did not want anyone to hear. Especially not you.”

You scoffed and gently flicked Jay’s ear. He flinched in response. “You think I can’t handle a hate comment?”

Jay looked into your eyes and saw that you were practically angry at this point, and that if he refused to tell you everything, he knew the conversation would end badly.

“Well?” You asked, challenging him.

“She mentioned your age and sort of mocked you, that’s all. That’s why I wanted to leave right away.”

At this comment, you let out a snicker before you moved to stand up. Jay’s eyes followed your movements, and in an instant he already looked worried.

“Baby?” Jay sat up, watching as you made your way to the kitchen.

“I mean if she’s speaking the truth, can you really blame her?” You retorted. You started checking the drawers for nothing, just intentionally making noise. You didn’t know if it was the comment regarding your age, or that Jay had someone special you didn’t even know about that made you irritated. What you did know is that you wanted to be as far away as possible from him.

“Look,” Jay spoke as he walked towards you. “You wanted to know, so I…”

“How long was your relationship with her?”

“That’s irrelevant.”

“I want to know,” you said, leaning on the counter and putting your hands together, expecting an answer.

“Just over a year, I think,” Jay replied as he decided to sit on the stool across you.

“And it didn’t work out because?” You continued to press on him and disregarded the way your brain was telling you to stop the questioning right then and there before it turned into a bigger argument.

“We wanted different things,” Jay answered. “Y/N,” he called on you before you could ask another question. “If this is bothering you I’d rather not continue.”

“Okay,” you smiled, walking past him and heading right into your bedroom.

From your tone, Jay knew that your okay did not mean okay at all. He sighed and brushed his hair back before following you, and when he entered the bedroom you were already lounging on the bed, with a book that you were half-done reading in your hands.

“It’s killing me that you’re acting this way, and I know you don’t like it when I ask questions, but I really need to know,” Jay said, frustrated. He was leaning on the door with a hand in his pocket. “What’s bothering you? Do you want me to tell you everything about high school? Everything I did with her?”

His last question was definitely a mistake, and he knew it the moment it left his mouth. Jay shuffled to your side of the bed and kneeled down beside you, carefully taking the book out of your hands.

“Please,” he begged. “Talk to me.”

“I don’t know, Jay,” you replied with the strongest voice you could muster. You didn’t even realize that you were already choking back tears. “Sometimes I just wonder why you’re with me when you could really be dating someone your age.”

“Are you kidding?” Jay stood up before sitting on the edge of the bed. “Our age gap has never been a problem for me.”

“That’s the thing,” you said, avoiding eye contact. “It is for me sometimes.”

Jay stared at you for a couple of seconds that felt like an eternity for you, and you realized that he was probably searching for the right words to say. He moved closer to you and took your hand, bringing it up to his lips for him to kiss.

“I’m sorry that I never considered it from your side,” he whispered. “But believe me, Y/N, I’ve never felt anything like this before. I don’t just love you, I’m in love with you. I can’t stand being apart from you for too long. I just want to do everything with you. Every little thing reminds me of you.”

You felt a lump on your chest, and you were sure it was because you were overwhelmed. You wanted to return everything Jay said to you because you felt the exact same way, but words weren’t coming out of your mouth. All you could do was let out a shaky breath when Jay scooted even closer to you, hands moving up to cup your face.

“I’ve never brought up stuff about my past because I do not want to even think about it. I just want to focus on the present and the future. And my future is you.”

You failed to hold in the tears you were choking back, so you looked down as they fell to your hands. Jay pulled you into his arms, wrapping you with his warmth as you sobbed into his shoulder. Your hand clenched his shirt and he began stroking your hair gently, shushing you and whispering comforting words in your ear.

Once you stopped sobbing, Jay pulled away to look at your face. He wiped the remaining tears from your cheeks before leaning in to kiss you. You sighed into the kiss, and he didn’t mind the salty aftertaste that lingered on your lips.

“So you don’t have any other exes?” You asked in between sniffles.

Jay chuckled. “Baby, I thought we were over this.”

You punched his shoulder lightly. “Just answer me.”

“I don’t,” Jay said, kissing your cheek.

“Then how do you explain this?” You asked, caressing his cheek and staring into his eyes.

Jay frowned. “What do you mean ‘this’?”

“The way you’re treating me.” You rubbed your thumb across his cheek and he nuzzled into your touch. “And the sex.”

Jay couldn’t help but burst out laughing at your last remark. You pouted as you were sure you asked a serious question.

“For the first part, you can say my parents raised me well,” Jay explained. He put his finger under your chin and tilted your head up. “And for the second part, I just watched a lot of porn and romance movies, to be honest.”

“Pervert,” you commented, earning another hearty laugh from him.

“But you’re reaping the benefits, right?” Jay kissed your nose playfully and you just shook your head in pretentious disgust. “And what about you? Where did you learn how to make those beautiful moans? You drive me crazy when you moan.”

“I read a lot of smut,” you said, matter-of-factly.

“Pervert,” he returned your comment before attacking your neck with kisses. You squealed and fell lying down on the bed, completely accepting the fact that Jay was now attacking you with no signs of backing down.

---

It was basketball night for Jay and his mates, and for tonight you decided to stay at home to catch up on the work you still had because you left the office early. You knew you were going to have a packed Friday the next day, so you decided to go for peace and quiet at the comfort of your own home.

As soon as you got home, you showered and changed into more comfortable clothes. Your dark green kimono outer paired with the black lacey top and shorts as a set was your current favorite. To lift your mood even more, you put on the new perfume that one of your friends bought for you from Paris.

Once you made yourself a cup of hot silver needle tea, you cozied up on your sofa, placing your laptop on top of the cushion on your lap and started typing away. You played Christmas jazz instrumentals on your phone and let it connect to the Bluetooth speaker, so as the setting sun casted an orange shade in your living room, the calming music also made you more focused on your work.

You decided to just wait up for Jay to have dinner since he was going to be home soon and you weren’t feeling that hungry either. You finished your cup of tea, and after checking a couple of notifications on your phone, you continued to work on your laptop, changing your positions once in a while so you would not strain your legs. After a while, you heard the lock beep and as Jay entered, you shouted out to him.

“Welcome home, baby,” you said without taking your eyes off your screen. You turned the music off before you continued to type until you felt a shadow hovering over you. When you looked up, Jay was looking at you with an unhappy face.

“It’s almost 9, why are you still working?” He asked, pulling the strap of his duffel bag off his shoulder.

“I left early today and I wanted to get ahead of tomorrow,” you explained. Your hands paused over your keyboards and Jay immediately took one of them, kissing the back of your hand.

“I’m gonna go shower, and if you’re still working by the time I’m done, I’m gonna get mad,” Jay said. He leaned in to kiss the top of your head before disappearing. You just smiled and continued to work.

You swore only five minutes had passed before Jay returned to the living room, with a towel over his head and his favorite sleeveless black tee paired with his black shorts. He smelled like your soap and shampoo, and you like how it mixed with his own scent. Before you could say anything to greet him back, he yanked your laptop away from you and carefully placed it on the coffee table.

“Jay,” you muttered out of surprise. “I wasn’t done typing.”

Jay pouted as he walked in front of you, threw himself on the sofa beside you, and lied down while placing his head on your lap.

“Your hands can continue to be occupied,” Jay said, his hot breath tickling your thighs. “Please stroke my hair.”

You chuckled but did as he said. You brought up the towel and started rubbing it gently over his hair to dry it better. Jay closed his eyes, feeling content as he faced the TV. Once you were done, you pulled the towel away and set it on the armrest.

Jay shifted in his position and turned around, facing your stomach. He scooted closer and playfully pulled your top up before leaning in and just hiding under your top. He then kissed your belly button and you shook your head laughing. He began blowing raspberries on your stomach and you pinched his arm to make him stop.

“It tickles!” You said when he uncovered his face to give you a look of protest.

He reached out his hand and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear before caressing your cheek. You leaned in to kiss his forehead and he closed his eyes. When you pulled back, he frowned and started sniffing the air.

“Do I smell a new perfume?” Jay asked, opening his eyes completely and looking at you. “It is new, isn’t it?”

You nodded. “It’s a solid perfume that I’ve never tried before. I put it under my ears only. Do you like it?”

Jay groaned in an effort to lift himself off your lap. He sat sideways, an arm beside your thigh supporting his weight. He then nuzzled into your neck and took a quick sniff.

“I like it,” he said, sniffing again. “It’s fresh and subtle.”

He moved to sniff your right side and you just laughed softly, craning your neck.

“It’s so good?” He declared, sounding more like a question. Once he was done sniffing you he kissed your jawline.

“I’ve read that solid perfumes are meant to be sniffed only when you get closer to the person wearing it.”

“That’s sexy,” Jay commented. You just raised your eyebrows and nodded. “You’re sexy.”

You snorted at the sudden compliment, and Jay was just looking at you as he bit his lower lip. He placed his fingers under your chin and kissed you again, deeper this time, making a point that he wanted you. You grabbed him by the neck and pulled him closer, returning the gesture. Eventually, Jay’s arm gave out and he fell on your lap again after a hot minute of just kissing you.

He didn’t want to stop there, so he leaned into your stomach again and started peppering your belly with kisses. You smiled and brushed his hair back, observing him with adoring eyes. His hand made its way to your breasts, and the moment he started massaging your tits it became harder for you to control your sounds.

You brought your feet up to the coffee table, making your thighs tilt and giving Jay enough elevation for his mouth to reach your breasts. He began sucking on your tit, and squeezing the other with his hand. Your breath had become shaky at this point, and you desperately reached down his body to find something to touch.

Lucky for you, and for him, he was already hard. As he continued to suck on your boob, you began palming his crotch, gently rubbing your hands on his clothed erection. He groaned and almost grazed his teeth on your nipple before pulling away to look up at you.

“Can you take your top off for me?” He asked softly, his eyes almost sparkling.

“Only if you get naked for me too,” you said, smiling.

Jay sat up and ditched his t-shirt and shorts in an instant, and you were still in the middle of pulling your lacey top off when he settled himself on your lap again.

“But wear the kimono again,” he requested. “It’s a great color on you.”

“Very well, my prince.” You squished his cheeks together before pulling him for a kiss. Once you donned the kimono again, Jay smiled so widely before licking his lips.

You returned your attention to his throbbing dick in your hand while you let him suck on your tits again. You could see the precum on his tip as you carefully slid your fingers up and down his shaft. Jay began moaning, keeping his mouth latched onto your nipple. Every time your hand squeezed harder, he sucked harder, and the way he looked on your lap just made you fall in love with him all over again.

You can tell from his erection that this simple action was turning him on a lot, so you began stroking his hair and whispering comforting words to him. At one point, he opened his eyes and looked up at you, mouth still full with your boob, and you froze the image in your mind, wanting to remember it forever.

“My sweet prince,” you whispered, letting your hand do its job by spreading his precum all the way down to the base of his cock. He whimpered and bucked his hips up, trying to fuck your hand.

He pulled away from you and you saw a string of his saliva still connected to your breasts. “I’m close,” he announced, and when he looked at you, you nodded.

You pushed his head back into your breasts again and let him leave as many love bites as he wanted, all while your hand began pumping his cock faster. He began moaning louder and without further warning, he cummed all over his stomach. You saw the ropes of white staining his toned abs and you gently guided him as he rode out his high.

Jay began to catch his breath, and you brushed his hair back, chuckling as you saw a bead of sweat trickling down. You kissed his forehead and he reached up to your arm, rubbing his hand up and down. The towel that you conveniently placed on the armrest proved to be useful, as you reached for it and cleaned up Jay in less than thirty seconds.

“Are you still on your period?” Jay asked. The question almost caught you off guard. You folded the towel neatly before putting it away.

“No, it ended two days ago.”

“You made me wait for sex for two days?!” Jay spat. You threw your head back laughing before looking back at him again. “Get naked, now,” he demanded.

“Oh my God, Jay,” you placed your hand flat on his abs before poking him there with your pointy finger. He flinched on your lap. “You just had an orgasm.”

“And?” He asked, raising his eyebrow. “You say that like we’ve never gone for multiple rounds before.”

“I’m saying slow down,” you cooed, your hand caressing his face. “The night is still young.”

“Yeah, and I’m hungry,” Jay said, pouting.

You looked at the time and turned your head around to look at the kitchen. “I can cook you some ramen if you--”

“No, I want to eat you.”

When you stared back into his eyes you realized he was serious. He pouted and gave you his puppy eyes, and you just melted, pushing his face with your two hands and kissing his nose. “Okay,” you said, before tapping his shoulder so he could move away.

He began palming himself as he watched you pull your lacey shorts and your panties down in one go. You look at him and pinched the hem of your kimono. “On or off?”

“On,” Jay answered without missing a beat. You shook your head smiling. Jay then lied back on the sofa and you tilted your head.

“I thought you said you wanted to eat me out?” You asked, a puzzled look on your face.

Jay nodded. “Please place your pussy here,” he touched his lips, “and face that way,” he pointed to his legs.

“If you wanted 69 you could just say so,” you giggled, carefully throwing one leg over his head to get into position.

“Oh, my queen,” he sighed once his face came into contact with your core. “You should have told me you’re this wet.”

You had to admit that Jay sucking on your boobs while you jerked him off aroused you as much as it did him. But at this point, you realized that sometimes words can be set aside and you could let your body speak for itself.

The moment Jay licked a stripe down your folds, you jerked forward from the sudden warmth. You began stroking his dick, which was almost hard again. You took him in your mouth and started to mimic his ministrations on your cunt. When he licked a stripe along your folds, you licked a stripe along his shaft. When he sucked your clit, you sucked his tip. At one point he chuckled into you, noticing what you were doing, and the vibration you felt almost sent you into overdrive.

You moaned when you felt his tongue enter you, and since you had his dick in your mouth you almost choked. You were determined to take all of him and to return every single loving gesture he was making, but it was getting harder with every minute. You jerked your hips away from his lips, but it only made him pull you down harder, his two hands resting comfortably on your ass cheeks.

The choking sound you unintentionally made drove him to dive into you deeper. His tongue ran down your folds before entering you completely, and you whimpered, mouth full with his cock and body shaking from the pleasure. You felt the familiar knot in your stomach and you had to let go of his dick in order to breathe. You kept jerking him off with your hands though, but now your moans were clearer to him, so he continued to eat you out until you came on his face.

Your legs were shaking but you kept yourself up, determined to help Jay reach his second high of the night. Breathing heavily, you were about to take his length into your mouth again, but his hands stopped you and he began to just guide your hand up and down his shaft until he came on himself again. You carefully dismounted and just sat on the floor, buck naked, leaning your head on the sofa and still having your palm wrapped around his dick.

Jay looked at you with a regretful look on his face. “Babe,” he said, licking his lips and tasting your juice. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” you nodded weakly, moving your hand to intertwine your fingers with his. You then sat up to get on your knees, and grabbing the same towel you used earlier, but with a different surface, you began wiping his mouth and chin.

“Babe,” Jay chuckled, stopping you by grabbing your wrist. “Your legs were shaking so much, I can’t believe you’re cleaning me up, right now.”

You shook your head. “Remember when you said that it’s your responsibility to clean up this place since this is your home now? Well, you’re my home, so it makes sense for me to clean you up.”

Jay laughed softly before taking the towel away, and he swiftly wiped away the cum from his stomach. He then pulled you towards him, moving back so there was enough space for you to lie down on the sofa. You did, and immediately turned to face him, nuzzling his neck.

“How was basketball night?” You asked, closing your eyes.

Jay snaked an arm around your waist and began rubbing your sides. “Uneventful. We placed a bet and I lost, again. I have to order late night snacks for them later.”

You giggled and tilted your head to kiss his chin. “Seems like you came home to a snack too.”

“Oh, I did.” Jay smiled. He pulled back a bit to look at you and found you beaming at him. “I got a whole meal.”

You pursed your lips and Jay chuckled before kissing you. He then pulled you closer into his embrace, rubbing your arms to keep you warm. The actual late-night snack can wait.

-END-

read the next part: after last night

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