#this exam literally takes lives
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okay last question i promise.
what inspired u to pursue engineering?
umm this is very hard to answer now, because i used to be genuinely so excited about pursuing engineering, but this preparation kind of killed the genuine spark i had for the major, alr though this might be a long one, here comes my lore y'all.
i remember being SO SO excited about chemicals when i was younger, i always wanted to make them, like little potions😭 but at the same time i LOVED literature, i started writing poetry when i was 13, over the years i used it as a method to vent out creatively? so when i got the chance to finally decide for the career i wanted for myself, i was confused between stem and arts, literature was something i adored, something that made me feel safe, still does ngl, but being an engineer had more prosperous opportunities, so me being a dumbass chose something which i did like but didn't love, i did well in stem and arts, so choosing either was not a big deal, but now that i look back it's almost wishful atp, i wish i had taken arts and did what i love, but here we are, well let's see where life takes us with this one, i might switch majors after graduating in engineering, but that's too far in the future, let's see.
#this one hit home#man sometimes i wish i could go back and choose to be happy#its so competitive#this exam literally takes lives#damn walked myself into this one#😵💫
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Kenji and his cow Hanako II were the best duo from wan change my mind
#GUYS ITS OKAY HE’S WITH HIS COW FRIENDS HE’S FINE#I present this after the abomination we all witnessed from ch. 118#sigh yeah I know the chapter released literally a whole ass month ago but I���ve been too busy with school to draw anything#take this as a manifestation for his return in the next ch#Seriously though I’m like 80% sure Kenji and the others are coming back asagiri can’t do this to us#idk maybe I’m being delusional#tbh I’m probably gonna disappear for a bit until my end of year exams are done so if anyone notices me on tumblr please yell at me to study#pls pls pls#btw I was watching moo deng live cams while drawing this she’s such an icon#bsd#bsd art#bsd fanart#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs fanart#bsd kenji#kenji miyazawa#kenji bsd#bsd wan#cows#cow art#my art#digital art#artists on tumblr
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actually there's a huge difference between queerbaiting/"Hey guys look how gay these two are haha they're definitely gonna end up together, give us views uwu oh- never mind oops they're going to superhell" and "Hey it's 2004-2012 and there's no way we can get away with having our protags/main couple be two gay men but we really want to show these two are soulmates so we'll do it through subtext and underlying messages and by literally telling you over and over again their relationship is the most stable and important in the entire show, and the ending will imply they lived and died together", and it's insane that some of yall don't see how these two are not the same fucking thing.
#saw a very Shit Take about hilson earlier and im like. hm. some of yall have no idea what gay rep was like before 2016ish and it shows!#i feel like usa queer ppl have forgotten that this is actually still the norm about queer rep in most non-USA places#or are young enough/new enough in fandom that they dont know this was actually the most we'd get at the time#like if it was queerbaiting it would eventually be played as a joke Haha No Homo#but it wasnt. like. their relationship was shown to be THE most stable and important one in both their lives & the show overall#they literally destroyed their LIVES to be with each other. repeatedly.#anyway i could write an entire 10 page thesis on the matter but i have an actual exam in three hrs so. another time#house md#hilson#greg house#james wilson#gregory house#house x wilson
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Does anyone know what the timeline of the TWST main story is??? iirc Heartslabyul takes place in September before Ace’s birthday. Actually I think Prologue & Heartslabyul spans at least a week at max 😭😭
Savanaclaw is probably Late October… purely bcs I don’t think they’d do a school festival so early into the year
Octavinelle is like November-> Early December to me bcs it’s the midterm exam period, & idt they’d do exams right after a festival, but who knows…
Scarabia’s over winter break so December ->January
Pomefiore is probably??? somewhere around January as well?? Because I remember it was still snowing from the cutscene that Prefect has with Kalim abt his disappointment on not being a main singer. I’m betting on Late January at earliest. And Ignihyde takes place literally the night after Pomefiore 😭😭😭 This is also just guesswork based on how far up north the Sage’s Isle is, I assume the winters last longer there.
As for Diasomnia I got no clue at all 💔💔 all ik is that it should be getting warmer bcs of the reactions the characters have towards Malleus causing snow & winds to pick up… I used to think it was March but it probably isn’t 😭
if anyone would like to refute/add onto anything please feel free to do so!! This is all just guesswork 🙏🙏🙏
#i say stuff#twst timeline#idk how to tag this i won’t put too much stuff in it because i dont’t want to clog up the tags too much 😭😭😭#also the events exist in like a vacuum to me 😭😭😭 except for Halloween those r always in Octber#*october#Terror is Trending & Spectral Soiree happen back to back so those have set dates I think#October 31st to November 1st#Glorious Masquerade is a little tricky but it’s at least Late October bcs NRC’s Halloween celebration happens during the exchange trip#thank you ace jack and deuce for producing one of the funniest scenes in that event…#the same could be said for Stage in Playful Land but i think it has the possibility of being set in early October purely bcs#one of ace’s excuse on skipping school to go to Playful Land is that he wants to let loose before exam crunch + Halloween prep#As for LiTB with Nightmare Before Christmas mayhaps its somewhere during the Halloween celebration#or like literally days before. since in the finale they used the Halloweenified version of Main Street as the background#Harveston is like TWST Finland to me so like it could take place in like March or smth with how much it seems to snow 😭😭😭#LiTB with Stitch is right before summer break from what i remember#Sam’s New Year Sale is in New Years bcs duh 😭😭😭 but I assume it’s after Winter Break because the cast is all there#The rest are a bit muddy to me tbh…#live laugh love#wow i ended up yapping a lot again teehee
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give me chance anọchikwena ụzọ i kwụchikwee m ụzọ, na aga m ajamụkwa gị, kpowaị!
#* mine.#* melanin.#* ijeawele.#hallasimss#my sims#ts4#the sims 4#ts4 alpha#ts4 sims#black simmer#black simblr#simblr#ts4 edit#sims 4 edit#ts4 portrait#sims 4 portrait#ts4 cas#ts4 create a sim#alpha cc#( * POV: she's headed to the mall with her girls fresh off an exam and still eating all of you up. melanin for days oooohhhhhh#| anyway. this is your local journalism student at the University of Greenwich. born in Port Harcourt raised in Newcastle currently#| living in London and crying about the state of xyr bank account. if there is anything Mx. Ijeawele Akuoma Nwogu knows how to do#| it is serve and serve well amen. AND she's Igbo we love to see it Nigerians come get your food#| when this song comes on on the playlist tho. literally no one fucking talk to me the ancestors take over and i fuck it up on the#| [imaginary] floor try me. beg nuh. try see how i will go off )
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miscellany (again),, tags in the last image by @pyrotechnicarus
#adamandi#vincent aurelius lin#quincy cynthius martin#ambrose wellington bassford#portia elizabeth harper#beatrix valeria campbell#bit of nonsense bit of sillies (ohhh she thinks she's so funny huh.. anyways the brainrot. out out out)#please don't ask me about them take them at face value laugh and move on or smth i keep worrying i've read them Wrong#these have been living in my head rent free for a week and i'm now evicting them politely#anyway i drew all these as scribbles in my sketchbook in-between exam week and today i wanted them out of my head. so digital it is#i've spent two hours on this haha as a. would you even guess. a break from the beatrix thingy i've been planning because that one's rendery#quiet little notes on this... um.. i have started drawing quincy (idk how!!!)#yknow after the last ambrose literal study. i'm kind of mad about the fact that doing an unintentional study Worked???#like. he's the ONE character i have a grasp of how to draw. everyone else is 'randomly whack until you get the vibes and vague structural#integrity'. can we talk about shape language real quick though because ambrose is oval beatrix is circle quincy is rectangle#vincent is square and portia is triangle. that's how it is in my head.#texture wise. vincent is charcoal and graphite. ambrose is traditional painting blended. beatrix is crosshatching and ink.#quincy is like... marker? and watercolour. portia is digital and cell shading. i can't explain any of the correlations they just Are#for the. oddly detailed quincent i Wasn't intending to draw i had to pull up the musical and re-reference them. could draw one then not the#other?? so i struggled with quincy until i Got them and then i couldn't for the life of me get vincent right.... is it something about like#drawing one character at a time? like there's only room in my mind to understand one set of proportions at any given moment???#a fun little fact was just that i began photo refs as always from hahnji jang's page (which has been? saved in my search autofill now??) an#i didn't even have to get a specific image of quincy being in angst. but for smiling vincent i had to purposefully find oh ms reporter#well! consider this yet another part in the trying to figure out how everyone looks like/vibes as/gets drawn as Characters#a secret little code i keep for the stuff i make now is that i need to have something about the drawn medium that makes it unique to itself#as like opposed to a gif or screenshot or photoedit. it has to have extra meaning. and this appears two ways: one is through Implications i#the more Finished stuff. (aka poster series?) and the other one is by engaging in Ideas (generally posts. or memes/incorrect quotes/etc.)#had a really really interesting convo with a friend irl about fanart and fandoms. they were really active for genshin and stuff and so the#experiences between large and small fandoms were fascinating to compare.. i think i prefer the .. intimacy(?) of just doing what i obsess#over instead of looking for the statistics and clout and notes now. the art i make feels more meaningful and intentional that way.
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I am going to shoot myself in the head
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/e8a9231ae04ae77b68e8c22d71dc2910/a8d9a34f954e2eb7-c4/s540x810/86149b9badd4f4b53605b33454f60721afe3ea53.jpg)
#I feel so helpless and clueless rn I feel like I’m going to fail my entire academic journey#Nothing bad has happened this week (besides my sis and mom getting rlly sick) but I just feel like I know nothing anymore#Am I a dumb stupid fuck#I have yet another exam tomorrow and I thought I loved the subject but suddenly I realize I didn’t understand anything#Trying to take down notes but I have literally no material to work with only my book in which I’ve made over 50 errors#I don’t count them I just know it’s over that number#I haven’t showered I’m trying to do homework I’m trying to take down notes and I’m also trying to take care of my sis bc she’s very sick#I bear a cross far too big for my size I feel like I can’t handle anything at all#Jesus christtttt where is old me when I need her I would’ve tanked this shit so easily but now I’m just crying and whining#i need to stop thinking about how I was so much better before but I can’t stop#I really was so much more than a spineless piece of shit what the fuck#Ghhhh mitski you were so right#I was so young when I behaved 25 yet now I find I’ve grown into a tall child is so very real mitski#Lately I’ve been crying like a tall child yeah keep it up mitski sing ur shit I will jump off of this ledge I’m on yeah#Clawing my skin offffff I wish I could tell someone irl#I still haven’t written to my friends parents so they could help me#but I don’t have the time to make a word doc ab everything I go thru and how I feel#And they might not help me#I just want to crawl a hole in the ground and wait to become a sprout to become a pretty flower I don’t wanna be living this shit no more#Vent#vent post
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it’s tuesday
#i have an exam tomorrow … crafting this post with excellent care during my study break#happy tuesday everyone#girl sat at a desk kind of near me in the library and ive already imagined us becoming bffs like ten times#going to take a break at eight to watch geeks & nerds for harris … JENMISH 🫶🫶🫶#rpf is more important than psych#literally had the most beautiful lunch today i went out my gma#had fried okra green beans mac and cheese fried taters with coconut cream pie …#SCRAN !!!!!!#wearing the princess diana fall fit 2day but i lowkey just look like i don’t have pants on and im too tall to pull it off#and my HAIR !!!! IS UGLY !!!! ONCE AGAIN !!!!#need to start wearing wigs or like something bc i have a solid two pieces of hair on my head#that one mutual who don’t play about being bald#ok gootbye need to lock in#if you read all the way to down here pls send ur fave album and ill stream#while i study#the lineup rn is harrys house -> bruce born in usa live in 84 -> not sure as of rn
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Saas leti hu or ek paper leak ho jata hai
#Have never been more disappointed in the education system#Shame on everyone involved#I'm so fed up I literally want to give up on education#People don't know what it takes to study and appear for such exams let alone succeed in them#Still everything seems like a joke#Desiblr#desi academia#Nta#neet2024#The future is seriously fucked up#This feels some sort of dystopia#And then you complain about students ending their lives#Well guess what#You treated them like jokes in the first place#Fuck you
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results day tomorrow Idek what to do
#when it was gcses I stayed up all night#but then you don’t have to do anything after you get those#like I’ll probably have to fucking call up different places and stuff#also I actually did well in gcses#honestly kind of numb to it like idk where my life is going and I don’t really care either nothing matters anymore#I waited for this day for so long like literally years of my life have been#well I need to do well in these exams so I can finally finally leave#but it was too long and I just got exhausted and stopped caring about improving my life#now I will probably have to spend another year here I can’t take it anymoreee#to the point where I don’t even want to do anything outside of rotting all day anymore#I remember I used to be so excited about finally leaving and getting to do all the things I used to dream about. sad!#maybe some miracle might happen and I get into uni and maybe regain some will to live#who knows who knows
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culturallymaxxing.. queerpilled……..
#i’m not making fun of that man blah blah blah blah don’t take this seriously plz..#i literally cannot stop thinking about it tho.. even w context idk i feel like it’s worded weird IDK#IM NOT A HATER…… NOT REALLY………..#i’m so tired.. i have 2 big exams friday and monday and then i will be FREE (mostly)#i literally feel culturally queer rn you guys…………#i’m reallyyyyy funny.. i swear……….#i’m also realllyyyyyy tired i just spent the past 6 hours working on my art project#so maybe i’m just a little delusional right now erm#don’t listen to ANYTHING I SAY let me just live in my delusions for now#porcelainposting
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"Biz, what would you like for your birthday this year?"
"For nobody to misgender me for a day."
Turned out too much to ask (:
#tw: transphobia#tw: misgendering#literally every person i had to talk to today misgendered me#my mom kept misgendering me over and over again even in trying to correct people#“HER pronouns are they/them” i'm going to eat the fucking sun and shit#every doctor and nurse i spoke to kept calling me she/her#“IT'S FUCKING THEY/THEM I AM NOT A GIRL"#everyone reacts like i'm some special snowflake bedwetter that can't take misgendering#when the reality is that i have never gone a single day in my LIFE where i haven't been misgendered#oh and my doctor's office was too narrow for my wheelchair which was humiliating#and i had to spend 3 hours trying to explain to mom in a way that actually made a difference WHY it matters to not misgender me#and finally it clicked at hour 3 with “YOU'RE DESCRIBING TO STRANGERS WHAT MY FUCKING GENITALS LOOK LIKE AND IT FREAKS ME OUT”#“i hadn't thought about it that way”#oh and my doctor rolled her eyes at seeing a 32 year old in a wheelchair like i was malingering in a $5k chair#and demanded to know why i use it when it wasn't relevant to my visit AT ALL#my younger and older siblings BOTH treated me like shit for my gender identity so i wound up agender#because jesus fucking christ how insecure are you fucking cunts that you can't stand NOT being the only son/daughter to our mom#so i chose to be nothing!!! and they STILL won't fucking just live and let live#everybody's gotta hate biz for fucking something and that includes gender#*biz unsubscribes from gender* “hey >:(”#i hate my life#this was literally the worst birthday in my fucking life#had to starve myself of sleep to get up at 6am to drive 4 hours to a 20 minute appointment#misgendered 100% of the time while i couldn't get my wheelchair into any exam room because the doors were too narrow#questioned for needing a wheelchair. looked at like a child for being trans. clueless mom that wouldn't back me up.#and siblings that hate me because my mom genuinely likes my company more and it's because the two of them are so selfish#they won't bother to treat our mom with basic respect or interest in her as a human being outside of a mother when i do#but THEY can't be the problem. it has to be something MY fault
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theres no better place for my ichi ringtone to go off than during my exam tbh
#snap chats#i DO NOT want to talk about my exam <- is gonna talk about it#i get bad physiological reactions to tests itd be hilarious if it wasnt annoying#i hate taking tests cause ill know the answers 100% but then i go to take the official test and i 👁️👁️ i forget literally everything#LIKE AS IM FILLING IN THE ANSWERS I KNOW ITS WRONG BUT MY BRAIN JUTS REFUSES TO PUT THE RIGHT ONE#I REMEMBER THE INFO I JUST CANT PUT THEM IN THE RIGHT SPOTS I GET SO NERVOUS AND FOR WHAT i hate tests.#theres nothing i can do tests have been my bane for years and ill just have to live with my educators thinking im stupid <- i am#anyway. during my exam yeah. quiet-ass room and then you hear my dork-ass ringtone go off like HELP I WAS JUST 👁️👁️#now the whole classroom knows youre a dweeb. jk no one at my school knows rgg its fine#anyway im upset and im fighting every demon telling me to go to the bar and get a drink#NO. BAD SNAP. BAD COPING MECHANISM. YOU ALSO HAVE NO MONEY ENOUGH#i have my last class of the day in twenty minutes i wanna curl up in a ball instead but thats not how life works now is it so BYE#wait can i talk bout my morning cause it was goofy#i called up my doc to get my DRUGS refilled and she was lookin over my doc like#'my man you have too much testosterone' My Sister In Christ No The Fuck I Don't LMAO if i hear one more 'sorry ma'am' i just might lose it#funny world innit.. ok my class starting soon thats all i wanted to share LMAO BYE
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can dads please be normal about things for one fucking second
#like. he and his partner just spent a week biking in italy and having a fab time while i'm studying for ib finals at home and taking exams#supposedly the most stressful and busiest month in our lives so far#and now the entire day he's been getting on my ass about how the kitchen table (where i study) is messy and how the bathroom is untidy etc#like mister hello?? i'm trying to learn my entire high school's worth of material in one month and you can't move one notebook before eatin#and i'm honestly handling it well so far. getting everything done. not super stressed. working very very late but sleeping enough#while also taking care of a cat and a dog with no help every day#he's had literally zero work with my entire education and all the straight As (admittedly more cause i remember fast than due to hard work)#but by how he's talking you'd think i'm doing heroin under his roof every day and routinely setting our house on fire#*long sigh*#noodle rambles
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getting my driving licence tomorrow.. 😐
#for the record when i say i got it so I'd have it later i mean my licence. i did not want nor get a car ->#i feel really bad for my car coz brother i am never ever gonna drive you sorry. devil's machine#literally living in a city with one of the best public transports in the entire world and my parents expect me to drive...#i got it so I'd have it but like broooo im not gonna drive anywhere i fucking hate driving😭😭😭#also fun fact getting a licence in hungary is literally harder than getting into heaven as a rich person like holy fucking shit#I've been going through the process for well over two years now. my god#you need 4 different exams and many many many hours of studying and practice#which is good in that i know most ppl who drive trained really hard to do it#but bad because boy they don't act like it<3 also bp traffic is fucking nuts. JUST TAKE THE BUS#or the metro. or the trolley bus. or the tram. or the hév. or the train. or the fucking . boat#no the boats stopped running during covid and they still haven't started again which makes me so sad. bring them back...#barking
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RRARAAAAAAAAAUUAUUAAGHHHHH
#ITS 12AM AND I HAVE BIG EXAMS TOMORROW#and people are taking my lighthearted post far too seriously and claiming some pretty awful things about my intentions#???????? I'm just some 17 year old who thought housetrucks were interesting#and recognised that they're likely the only kind of accommodation I'd be able to afford once I'm an adult#like YEAH YOUR POINTS ABOUT ROMANI APPROPRIATION ARE VALID and I am willing to listen. I know its frustrating#but also I've looked into the history of housetrucks within nz and the people who first built them?#they just built them out of necessity. not to mimic or romanticise romani suffering. I can't find any mention of romani inspiration#I SPECIFICALLY included photos of NZ HOUSETRUCKS ONLY and not romani wagons or similar because#a lot of new zealanders live poorly and have to resort to that lifestyle. SOME new zealanders live in housetrucks just because they can#but I guarantee you it is a very small amount because they're extremely inefficient and dangerous to live in#the only reason I was posting about them with such excitement is because I'm ecstatic about maybe being able to afford a home before I'm 40#ranting about this in the tags and not in a reblog because goddd dude I don't want to look like some racist prick or something#to the person who reblogged the housetruck post with the stuff I'm talking about#if you're looking through my blog for whatever reason#I understand what you're saying but man that wasn't my intention at all#I'm a burnt out mentally ill IB student who made that post to cope with escapism#I didn't make it to erase romani lives or your culture I just made it because I need a hope for a liveable future#houses in new zealand usually cost over a million dollars I literally just want to look forward to living somewhere#warning bells in my mind right now please please don't twist my words it's 12am and I'm stressed out of my mind#god I feel awful I need to sleep#sick of being on the internet I am so so careful to be as respectful and careful as I can about topics#only to be accused of using gentrifying dogwhistles to appropriate a marginalised group of people ?????#for sharing photos of new zealand specific housetrucks and calling them 'kiwi culture'#I did not mean 'kiwi culture' as in 'invented by and owned by new zealanders'#I meant it in the same way that fish and chips are 'kiwi culture'. obviously we didn't invent either of those things. they just happen to b#a regular part of aotearoa life. RARHRHGHHH#fuck man I'm too worked up over this I never meant to be shitty or appropriate anything I just like housetrucks#I'm going to be a wreck tomorrow I'm too anxious to sleep#so sorry to anyone who bothered to read all of this#just needed. somewhere to put it
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