#* ijeawele.

[hallasimss]

give me chance anọchikwena ụzọ i kwụchikwee m ụzọ, na aga m ajamụkwa gị, kpowaị!

[sicparvismorrigan]

Friendly Fire - Chapter Two: Acting Up

Ellie Thibodeaux holds arguably the worst job in Bridgehead City. She’s not a cook. She’s not even a cleaner. She’s the resident RDA psychiatrist, and her next assignment is helping the formerly deceased Project Phoenix come to terms with being brought back to life as an entirely different species.

Enter Colonel Miles Quaritch, the most reluctant, and most challenging patient she’s ever had the displeasure of treating.

James Cameron’s Avatar - The Way of Water (2022)

Recombinant Quaritch x ofc (currently professional/platonic, enemies/annoyances to friends, could be more & Quaritch x Paz Socorro

Warnings: mild swears

Tagging: @kmc1989 (lmk if you want added to the taglist!)

Read on Ao3

Chapter One | Chapter Three

Acting Up

That’s just the Colonel, sweetheart! Try harder next time, m’kay?

Try harder?

Like he wasn’t some impassable brick wall of a man…alien…whatever…that she had absolutely zero common ground with?

Nope. Just try harder.

Sure thing, boss.

Luckily, her other patients were gradually warming up to her. Wainfleet was surprisingly forthcoming, after he figured out that Tibbs wasn’t the only one who liked comic books. Just a big kid with a gun. Absolutely nothing to dissect there.

Zdinarsk had shyly asked for help managing her braid, then invited Ellie to “come hang” with her and the other recoms sometime, whatever that meant.

It was only Quaritch who was being deliberately obtuse.

But Ellie had another problem. She was the talk of Bridgehead. Sure, for the reason that the Colonel was her new patient. And for the bigger issue that somebody had blabbed about her missing arm. Now there were stares and sly sideways looks wherever she went. She couldn’t stand the whispering. It made her mad as all Hell that she was no longer invisible. That everybody knew her by sight and reputation, for her handicap.

I am not a victim. I am a survivor.

The mantra her very own ‘shrink’ had given her as armour. Over and over and over in her head.

Session Two did not get off to a good start. She’d have bet her next paycheque on Quaritch ditching her couch.

In fact, he’d shown up early. She was the one who was late by being on time.

Jeez, she couldn’t stand him. She was going to be extremely unprofessional in 3…2…1…

“Off the record, before we begin-“ Ellie spoke up as she lowered herself into her human-sized chair. “Can I have a word with you?”

“Sure thing, shrink-wrap.”

”Stop-“ She grumbled and rubbed her temples. “Hm. Kindly refrain from calling me that, please.”

“Since you asked nicely.”

Ellie sighed with relief. “Thank you.”

“I’ll save it for special occasions.”

She groaned out loud.

“And bank holidays.”

“You-…” Ellie faltered before regaining her rhythm and setting her mouth in a firm line. “Ugh, whatever.”

Quaritch was looking at her expectantly.

“So-“ She demanded. “Who’d you tell about my arm?!”

“Say what now?” He seemed genuinely surprised.

“People have been talking about me behind my back, since our last session.” She complained. “I don’t appreciate that. Not one bit.”

“Hey there-“ He held up a hand to hush her. ”I ain’t said shit about your rusty-ass arm!”

She regarded him suspiciously. His expression was genuine enough. ”Really?”

“Not a word.” The Colonel actually looked offended. “What, you think you’re the first handicap I’ve worked with?”

Of course she wasn’t. There was another.

“You ain’t special.” He huffed. “So you done actin’ up? Or what?”

“Well, somebody said something.” Ellie muttered.

“Good thing I’m not paying for your so-called help, ‘cause so far: not impressed. Un-pro-fess-io-nal.” He emphasised each syllable, making her cower down in embarrassment. “Now, where were we?”

Ellie hated it. Couldn't stand how he just took control over anything she tried to do.

”Oh yeah. That’s right…“ He leaned closer to her, fixing her with an intense stare. “What bit ya?”

”Nuh-uh.” Ellie shook her head. “Not doing it.”

“Come on now, Doc. Holding out on me will get you nowhere. I’m a patient man.”

Now she had him.

Ellie cocked an eyebrow, glancing up from her notebook. ”Man?”

A cheap shot. And it clearly stung like a mother. Fight instincts of both human and alien beast kicked in. Fists clenched and fangs bared before the Colonel could collect himself.

She didn’t so much as blink at his intimidation tactic and once again the room was plunged into silence.

“Hey now. Are you done-“ She spoke calmly, mimicking his tone, letting her lips curl upwards into a smirk. “-acting up?”

”Smart mouth.” He nodded slowly, almost appreciatively. “So tell me, what exactly did you plan on doing next?”

“Next?” She was lost.

“I could give you a disciplinary for your attitude towards a superior officer.” Ellie felt the beads of sweat break out on her forehead, even in the air-conned space. “Easily. But I’m interested to see how this plays out, so I’m gonna let that one slide.”

”Why?” She didn’t understand.

“That was a nice little spark.” He grinned. “Took you long enough. But I want to see if I can get you breathing fire.”

Ellie blinked, taken aback. Did he just green-light her to cuss him out?

It would be plumbing the depths of professional conduct for sure, but they didn’t exactly teach you how to deal with the dead resurrected in medical school.

Quaritch rolled his eyes at her, still gawping at him stupidly.

“Listen. Ardmore isn’t the only one around here who can get you the things you need.” He spelled it out for her. “Or want. So play nice.”

“Huh.” She mulled the thought over. Interesting.

“Talk.” He urged her.

Ellie sighed heavily. He really wasn’t going to drop it. May as well put the elephant in the room out of its misery.

Here we go.

”A former patient attacked me. I wanted to refer him to someone else, and he didn’t take it very well at all.” She explained quietly. ”He choked out my receptionist…then came after me.”

Quaritch nodded, his expression neutral. No shock, but no sympathy, no condolence either. “How’d you get away?”

There was a long pause.

”Barely.” She swallowed the bile back down as she finally answered. Trickle-feed the information.

Make the bond.

“I see.” The Colonel remained stony-faced. “Been there, kid.”

“Uh-huh.”

Not a victim not a victim not a victim.

“Listen, you ain’t the only one here got bit by something you staked your trust in.” Ellie’s head jerked, when Colonel spoke again, he sounded surprisingly gentle. “You just have the mighty fine privilege of still being alive in the traditional sense.”

“For the record-“ She admitted “-I spoke out against bringing you back, Quaritch.”

Hoo boy, that might sting too.

“That’s cold, girly.” The snarl was lingering around the corners of his mouth again, fangs glinting with every word. “You wanted me to stay dead, huh?”

“No rest for the wicked.” She answered dryly. “But maybe you deserve that.”

“Pretty sure the entire Na’vi population would agree with you there.” He nodded. “But a philosophiser you ain’t, you’re one of them other p-words that get paid a lot more.”

Ellie frowned, unsure if he was strategically calling her other bad names in lieu of shrink-wrap.

“Project Phoenix is unethical. But since there is no moral legislation for Pandoran natives, or recombinants, my hands are tied. I’ve been told to treat you, so I have to.” It was her turn to spell things out. “But, I’m not sure how much I can help someone who so clearly doesn’t want it.”

”True.” He agreed. “So then just give up.”

“No!” Ellie fired back. “What part don’t you get about I have to?”

“If you’re so convinced I’m beyond saving, Doc-“ He spread his hands out wide for emphasis “-why even bother? Throw in the towel.”

“I’ve been given this assignment by Ardmore.” “I need to see it through.” She insisted. “Even if you don’t get anything out of this…at least I tried.”

“Oh, I’m getting plenty.” The Colonel nodded. “But no job’s worth wasting your life on.”

”That what you tell your troops?” Project Phoenix was potentially a suicide mission.

“They know what’s at stake. And as for you…you ain’t got my respect, yet.” Quaritch smiled grimly. “But you have my attention, for now.”

“Maybe that’s enough.” Ellie suggested. “For us to work together.”

“Symbiosis.” He nodded. “I like a project.”

Ellie wrinkled her nose in indignation. He was supposed to be her project.

“My men tell me you’re alright.” Quaritch mentioned abruptly. “‘Tibbs ain’t as bad as the other science pukes’, that’s what they said.”

“Did they now?” Ellie’s interest was piqued.

“Where I’m from, that’s a hefty compliment.” He cocked his head, ears pricking up. “I heard Z offered you an invitation.”

“She did.”

”I also heard you ain’t taken her up on it yet.”Quaritch tutted and gave her a stern look that made her want to disappear down into her own boots, like a child being scolded. “Bad manners.”

“I, uh-…“ The scientists didn’t socialise with the recom soldiers. It wasn’t a hard-and-fast rule, but it might as well be.

“You’d do well to accept that offer, while it lasts.” He warned her. “Or I’ll go back to callin’ ya shrink-wrap.”

”I’ll think about it, Colonel.” Ellie offered a small smile.

“Good.” Finally, he seemed pleased about something. “Be seein’ ya then, kiddo.”

After he left, she sat for a long time, trying to analyse their session so she could write her report. Trying to analyse him.

Quaritch wasn’t the only one holding one Hell of a grudge. Who would stop at nothing for vengeance against those who had crossed them.

She understood. Because they were the same.

Ellie would have given another of her limbs to avenge the one she’d lost. To make the bastard that took her arm, and very nearly her life, suffer beyond belief.

She and the Colonel had more in common than either of them were willing to admit.

***

Thanks for reading!

[evergreen-dryad]

going to try and put down any simple thoughts I have instead of staring into space with a clench in my heart and strong emotions.

all of it is wisdom. Sometimes it made me laugh a lot. Sometimes it made me laugh in a sobbing way for how things still were. Sometimes it made me angry too, in a way that says 'things must change'. Sometimes it made me go 'oh', in a way that says 'i recognise this in real life. She put it into words, the wrong feeling I had.'

It was always thought-provoking.

2 Feminist Tools:

First: 'I matter. I matter equally. Not 'if only'. Not 'as long as'. I matter equally. Full stop.

Second: Can you reverse X and get the same results? eg. If Chudi sleeps with another woman and you forgive him, would the same be true if you slept with another man?

The conversational, warm tone, as if you are a friend listening in (it was originally written for a friend whose daughter was just born, who asked 'how can I raise my daughter feminist?') works so well, and makes it so accessible for a topic as thorny as feminism, and one that can easily get lost in jargon.

The wry humour and occasional snark was delicious too, and added to the readableness of this (it's a really thin book!!)

She just says it simply. She says it as it is, with bravery and honesty.

That. Is the best ending for this book.

It's a lot of reflection and thought distilled into one book -- about equality for everyone, between men and women, bad and good, and the spectrum in between, and emphasises acceptance of all diversity. And to be honest, open-minded, and to question all social norms.

[haggishlyhagging]

You remember how a journalist unilaterally decided to give me a new name—Mrs. Husband's Surname—on learning that I was married, and how I asked him to stop because that was not my name. I will never forget the smoldering hostility from some Nigerian women in response to this. It is interesting that there was more hostility, in general, from women than from men, many of whom insisted on calling me what was not my name, as though to silence my voice.

I wondered about that, and thought that perhaps for many of them, my choice represented a challenge to their idea of what is the norm.

Even some friends made statements like "You are successful and so it is okay to keep your name." Which made me wonder: Why does a woman have to be successful at work in order to justify keeping her name?

The truth is that I have not kept my name because I am successful. Had I not had the good fortune to be published and widely read, I would still have kept my name. I have kept my name because it is my name. I have kept my name because I like my name.

There are people who say "Well, your name is also about patriarchy because it is your father's name." Indeed. But the point is simply this: Whether it came from my father or from the moon, it is the name that I have had since I was born, the name with which I traveled my life's milestones, the name I have answered to since that first day I went to kindergarten on a hazy morning and my teacher said, "Answer 'present' if you hear your name. Number one: “Adichie!”

-Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Dear Ijeawele, or, A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions

[m0tel6mxzzy]

Please do not ever put this pressure on your daughter. We teach girls to be likeable, to be nice, to be false. And we do not teach boys the same. This is dangerous. Many sexual predators have capitalized on this. Many girls remain silent when abused becausc they want to be nice. Many girls spend too much time trying to be "nice" to people who do them harm. Many girls think of the "feelings" of those who are hurting them. This is rhe catastrophic consequence of likeability. We have a world full of women who are unable to exhale fully because they have for so long been conditioned to fold themselves into shapes to make themselves likeable.

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions

[alexcabotgf]

4, 5, 14 & 18! ❤️

4. Movie of the year? already answered here, but the matrix baby!! where have they been all my life

5. TV show of the year? also answered here, but a runner up would be jessica jones. never expected to have this much fun watching it and YET

14. Favorite book you read this year? answered here, but another good one was dear ijeawele, or a feminist manifesto in fifteen suggestions by chimamanda ngozi adichie!

18. A memorable meal this year? can't really think of one specific meal but i, an avid sushi hater of 12 years, started eating sushi again and now i can't stop

[dont-justdont]

"This is the catastrophic consequence of likeability. We have a world full of women who are unable to exhale fully because they have for so long been conditioned to hold themselves into shapes to make themselves likeable."

Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions (by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie)

[hofculctr]

21st Annual Great Writers, Great Readings Series – Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE was born in Nigeria in 1977. She is the author of three novels, Purple Hibiscus (2003), Half of a Yellow Sun (2006), and Americanah (2013), of a short story collection, The Thing around Your Neck (2009), and of three books of non-fiction, We Should All Be Feminists (2014), Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions (2017), and Notes on Grief (2021). Ms. Adichie’s work has been translated into over thirty languages. She has received numerous awards and distinctions, including the Orange Broadband Prize for Fiction (2007) and a MacArthur Foundation Fellowship (genius grant)” (2008).

She has also been named one of TIME Magazine’s 100 Most Influential People in the World in 2015, and in 2017, Fortune Magazine named her one of the World’s 50 Greatest Leaders.

Thursday, October 16, 6:30 p.m. The Fortunoff Theater, Monroe Lecture California Avenue, South Campus

This event is FREE and open to the public. Advance registration is required. More info and to RSVP visit https://tinyurl.com/4wmm8njs

[creatorofcalmqueerchaos]

Print out/send to her “Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions” by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie!!

Technically it’s a letter to a new mom about how to raise a girl but it is also a great read for any girls out there. You can get downloadable copies for pretty cheap but I’m also like 99% sure there’s a free PDF somewhere because I sent it to someone at one point.

sometimes i want to help my 12 year old sister out with like. going into teenagerhood as a woman. but i know literally nothing about being a teenage girl. like “get the smallest sports bra available and stretch out the band so you dont break your ribs” is not something that helps out the average girl

[lboogie1906]

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (September 15, 1977) is a Nigerian writer whose works range from novels to short stories to nonfiction. She was described in The Times Literary Supplement as “the most prominent” of a “procession of critically acclaimed young anglophone authors [who] is succeeding in attracting a new generation of readers to African literature”.

She has written the novels Purple Hibiscus (2003), Half of a Yellow Sun (2006), and Americanah (2013), the short story collection The Thing Around Your Neck (2009), and the book-length essay We Should All Be Feminists (2014). Her most recent book, Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions, was published in March 2017. In 2008, she was awarded a MacArthur Genius Grant. #africanhistory365 #africanexcellence

[sicparvismorrigan]

Friendly Fire - Chapter Three: Scrap Metal

Ellie Thibodeaux holds arguably the worst job in Bridgehead City. She’s not a cook. She’s not even a cleaner. She’s the resident RDA psychiatrist, and her next assignment is helping the formerly deceased Project Phoenix come to terms with being brought back to life as an entirely different species.

Enter Colonel Miles Quaritch, the most reluctant, and most challenging patient she’s ever had the displeasure of treating.

James Cameron’s Avatar - The Way of Water (2022)

Recombinant Quaritch x ofc (currently professional/platonic, enemies/annoyances to friends, could be more & Quaritch x Paz Socorro

Warnings: mild swears

Tagging: @kmc1989 (let me know if you would like added)

Read on Ao3

Chapter Two | Chapter Four

Scrap Metal

“Well, well, look who decided to drop by!” Lyle Wainfleet was the first to draw attention to the psychiatrist’s presence. “She’s not too good for us after all!”

Not just one or two of them, they were all there. Everyone. Walker, Mansk, Fike. The whole damn unit. And every single one of them turned to stare.

”Knock, knock.” Ellie replied quietly, tapping softly on the metal wall of the soldiers recreation area with her real hand and forcing herself to approach.

She’d hoped to sidle in mostly unnoticed, without making a big deal, and observe for a while. The recombinant soldiers clearly had other ideas. 

“Z, pull up another chair. Right this way.” Wainfleet had sprung to his feet, beckoning her forward. “Nice one, doc!”

“We’ve got tea…oh, shit.” Fike realised too late Ellie wouldn’t be able to drink it.

Getting the exopack on and off single-handed was a chore in itself, and she didn’t want to ask for help. The thought of those strong recombinant fingers messing around near her neck made Ellie nervous. The tea would have to wait for another day. 

”Well, you can still hold it and pretend.” Sean Fike shrugged as he pushed a too-big cup into her real hand. “It’s not that good, anyway. Not missin’ out.”

Ellie balanced it on one knee with a tight smile. Too hot. She let her metal arm take the weight of the cup , feeling the rods that had replaced her bones warm distantly. Had to be careful not to forget about it or she’d end up burned, again. 

”Only because of how you make the tea, you heathen.” Zdinarsik casually insulted. “Probably safer not to, Tibbs.”

Ellie remembered an old book from Earth, about that Alice kid, who drank and ate things to make herself bigger and smaller. Strange, the things that pop into your head when you least expect. 

She’d felt the stares on her back as she had approached the soldiers quarters down a maze of metal corridors, the items around her getting larger and larger in comparison to herself. Shrinking down indeed, just like Alice. 

The recom soldiers seemed genuinely pleased that she had finally shown up. But her newest patient was nowhere to be seen. 

Ellie was surprised to find how much Quaritch‘s absence disappointed her. She had only been brave enough to venture over because he’d ordered it. Well, practically threatened.

And now he wouldn’t even see that she’d made the effort. Hopefully, the other recoms would mention it. Then, just maybe, he’d be slightly more willing to share at their next session.  

”Tibbs!” Zdinarsik nudged her elbow, making her jump. She’d been caught daydreaming. Something about the female recom’s tone made Ellie think it wasn’t the first time trying to get her attention.  Zdinarsik pointed at Wainfleet, who was fidgeting in his chair with a burning question. 

“Hey, uh…do you start to rust, doc?” He asked brazenly. “If you, uh, stay outside too long when it rains?”

“Lyle!” Mansk hissed, giving him a look that plainly said knock it off.

”What?! Dude, I gotta know!” Wainfleet shot Ellie a guilty look. “No offence.”

Zdinarsik just chuckled, lazily blowing another pale pink bubble. 

”I do, actually.” The psychiatrist replied amusedly. “It’s an old model. Sometimes needs oiling.”

Wainfleet frowned, flicking his ears downwards quizzically, unsure if she was messing with him, obviously not expecting her to confirm she was capable of the feat of oxidation. 

“But I don’t really get to go outside that much.” Ellie finished, not meaning to sound wistful, though to her it felt that way. 

”You should. I mean, you’d 100% die out there by yourself, but it sure is something.” Fike’s eyes widened, in the midst of a grand idea. “We could take you.”

“I don’t think General Ardmore would like that.” Ellie answered hesitantly. 

”Ugh, but Ardmore doesn’t like anything.” Walker retorted with a sigh. “Except work.”

“Hey, she doesn’t need to find out.” Wainfleet pointed out optimistically. “We just gotta get the Colonel on board. Whaddaya say, doc?”

It looked like Ellie was due a field trip she couldn’t exactly refuse.

It wasn’t like she hadn’t thought about going out there. But she was pretty far down on the payroll and had resigned herself to the brown and grey industrial landscape of Bridgehead, a mere extension of her artificial limb. But actually seeing, maybe even touching the world of Pandora, with her own private protection unit to keep her safe? 

Now, that really would be something. 

It didn’t take long for the recom soldiers to grow restless once her novelty had worn off and they went back to their games and roughhousing. 

”Where, uhm…where’s the Colonel?” Ellie ventured to ask Zdinarsik as she rose from her chair with a metallic squeak, on her way to join the boys. 

“How in the Hell should I know?” She responded, narrowing her eyes. “Why, you missin’ him that much already, doc?”

Ellie slumped in her own chair, wondering how much longer was polite to stay. This wasn’t really her world, and the recom’s casual violence as they pushed each other around was starting to put her on edge. 

“Or, you could ask him yourself…” Zdinarsik smirked as she nodded at someone far above Ellie’s head. 

The psychiatrist sat bolt upright, her spine ramrod straight, as if she were the soldier. 

“Colonel, check it out. We got company!” Wainfleet yelled before Fike floored him with a flying tackle. 

Ellie dared to turn around, tugging her sweater sleeve down nervously. 

“So I see. And on our turf, too.” Quaritch had his head cocked to one side. “Smart girl.”

Zdinarsik offered her seat up to her commanding officer and strode off to join the rest. 

The Colonel looked Ellie up and down, dwarfed by her enormous chair. Was it her imagination, or did he seem pleased she had finally accepted the invitation to ‘come hang’?

“What’s the I stand for?”

“H-Huh?” She stammered.

“That.” He pointed at the RDA-issue dogtags she had around her neck, like everyone else in Bridgehead.

Ellie’s hand went to the metal chain, covering them on instinct.

“Infuriating? Impudent?” He smirked.  “Incomplete?”

”Oh…” Ouch. She hurriedly tucked them back inside the neck of her sweater. “It’s my name.”

“Your name ain’t Ellie?” The Colonel asked, confused. “Huh.” 

Something he didn’t know about her. That was surprising.

”Not exactly. Ellie is the beginner level.”

”Well then, what is your name?”

She saw his tail flick in the corner of her eye.

“Colonel, respectfully. You couldn’t pronounce my real name if you tried.”

”Wanna bet?” He was up for the challenge. “Zdinarsik has letters in all the wrong places too.”

”My name wouldn’t sound that out of place amongst the natives.” Ellie explained. “So you don’t have to bother, seriously.”

”In case you haven’t noticed, I’m one of the blue freaks now, myself. So, I’ll ask twice.” He pointed a clawed finger at her deliberately. “Don’t you make me ask again.”

”Ijeawele Thibodeaux.” She sounded apologetic, damn it. Be assertive. It’s your own damn heritage, not his. “My full name. Tibbs is…much easier for everyone.”

”Well, goddamn. Legal paperwork must take you forever and a day.” He drawled. “Your parents didn’t even give you a chance, did they?”

No, they did not…

Another life.

“Once again.” He leaned closer to her and tapped the base of his ear twice. 

“It’s fine, Colonel.”

”No ma’am.“ He objected. “I wanna get it right. Again.”

”Ee-jay-ah-wel-eh.” She slowed it down, trying not to get stuck on the fact he’d just called her ma’am. Well, it was better than shrink-wrap. 

“Ijeawele.” His pronunciation wasn’t half-bad. 

“Good.” Ellie waited for a beat, then because she couldn’t resist the opportunity: “Now, about my middle name-“

“Aw, Hell!” Quaritch groaned, making the soldiers glance in their direction briefly before they resumed whatever rowdy antics they were in the middle of. 

”Relax, I don’t have one. But Ellie is fine.” She reassured. “Ellie is preferred. Tibbs is best.”

”Well, alright then.” He looked visibly relieved. “I got no issue with Tibbs.”

”You sure about that?” Ellie dropped her voice, being candid. “I don’t feel our sessions are going particularly well.”

“Nothing against you, personally.” The Colonel replied. “I got too much on my plate, and regularly scheduled meetings with a certain shrink are starting to take up a lot of my valuable time.” Ellie balked. “Oh, well…we can change your appointment time-“

”The time is just fine.” Quaritch’s tone was clipped. “It’s not that.”

She waited for more, but the Colonel didn’t care to elaborate.

O-kay…

“Can I ask what it is?” She probed.

”Here now, you better not be analysing me-“ He drew back, suddenly wary. 

”I’m here today as a friend. Not as a professional.” Ellie jerked her head towards the other soldiers. “At least, as their friend.”

”Can’t help it though, can ya?” Quaritch deduced correctly. “Dissecting people. Tryin’ to read them.”  I have to. 

She hadn’t been careful enough, on Earth. She’d wanted to see the best in people, assume their intentions were good, always. That was why she hadn’t seen her attacker coming.

She would not, could not make the same mistake again. 

“I-…” She thought about spilling her guts, briefly. 

Quaritch looked at her expectantly. 

No. 

“-I’ve had a good time today.” Ellie said honestly, covering her hesitation. “I’m sensing we aren’t quite there yet.”

”Correct. My men like you, that’s clear.”

”But?” There had to be a Part 2 to that sentence.

“But knowin’ you've got that Stone-Age prosthetic just danglin’ there really makes my brain itch.”

Ellie winced, she had hoped he wouldn’t bring up her arm again so soon. 

“Technology has advanced a whole lot since you rotated out here.” His tone had turned persuasive, working up to a big question. “Mind if I take a look? See what can be done?” 

Now, why would he do something like that? Ellie’s eyes darted around the room. Zdinarsik and Wainfleet had Fike pinned down on the Na’vi-sized pool table, attempting to tie his bootlaces around its wooden legs. They weren’t paying her and the Colonel the blindest bit of attention. 

But she couldn’t. Not in front of the other recoms. She never took off her long sleeves if there was anyone else around. Only in the privacy of her own quarters did she bare her arms. Only when she was sleeping did she even risk taking her artificial limb off. 

In case he found her-

“Is that an order?” She asked dully, staring at the metal ground. 

”Just a request.” He was surprisingly quick to back off. “For now.”

“Then, no.” She said firmly.

Ellie remembered what he had said last time she had pushed boundaries. He could write her up. He could cause a her whole world of trouble if Ardmore got wind of her disregard for the rules. She fumbled and tried to explain more politely.

“No, Colonel. I’m sorry, I really don’t like people touching my arm-“ Her voice rose in panic at the end of her sentence.

The completely unprompted and unreasonable image had popped into her mind of Quaritch ripping the rest of her limb clean from her shoulder.

He could, if he wanted. Easily. 

I don’t like people touching me at all. Period. 

The Colonel regarded her for a long moment before leaning back in his chair. “I get it.”

“Doubt it.” Ellie snorted. 

Quaritch cleared his throat.

”Listen up, lady. I used to hate these, right here.” He pointed at the side of his own head. “Happened on Day One. Heck of a baptism. Went a little heavy on the camo paint for a while.”

Ellie squinted. The blue skin made it hard to tell, but on his right, she could see three faint silver-tinted curved lines, slightly raised.  She’d seen his old Sec-Ops ID, she knew what she was looking at. Wild animal. The scars were hefty when they were healed. Fresh, they would have been gruesome. 

“But now-“ He paused. “well…back when I was…-“

Human. Alive. 

Ellie filled in the blanks herself.

”-Anyway, I accepted I had to make peace and stopped tryin’ to hide it after a while. It wasn’t goin’ away. Always did scare the shit out of the new recruits.”

”I’ll bet.” She’d heard the stories. Even before his reanimation, Colonel Quaritch had rightfully earned the title of legend. 

“Imagine I didn’t have it, just how goddamn pretty I’d be.” He finished. 

It took her a second to realise, he was making his version of a joke. He was looking at her expectantly, tail flicking back and forwards. Ellie dared to smile, the tears that were pricking the backs of her eyes withdrawing. 

”Yeah, ain’t that a thought. There ya go.” He smirked.

She nodded, and half-sniffed, half-chuckled nervously as she wiped her nose with the heel of her good hand.

”Point is, if anyone’s afraid of a little scrap metal, they ain’t worth your time, kid.” He shrugged. “And if they try to tear you to shreds because of it, well then, you own it. You make sure they’re afraid of ya.”

Quaritch’s words were oddly motivational. Ellie could see now, why he was considered a great leader. Scary as Hell. You had to earn it. But if you were on his side, or he was in your corner, you had a good thing going.

Just don’t cross him. 

Guess I’ve chosen a side.

***

Thanks for reading!

I’m currently playing Frontiers of Pandora and it’s doing an excellent job of feeding the muse. Flying my ikran for the first time - religious experience. Reminded me of Flight of Passage at AK and I stg I cried I love that ride so much.

[absurdly-useful]

I decided to dig up the original post, in case anyone wanted to reblog that instead @liberalsarecool or @wilwheaton:

Identifying/understanding [GOP] misogyny.

[haggishlyhagging]

The shame we attach to female sexuality is about control. Many cultures and religions control women's bodies in one way or another. If the justification for controlling women's bodies were about women themselves, then it would be understandable. If, for example, the reason was "women should not wear short skirts because they can get cancer if they do." Instead the reason is not about women, but about men. Women must be "covered up" to protect men. I find this deeply dehumanizing because it reduces women to mere props used to manage the appetites of men.

-Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Dear Ijeawele, or, A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions

[julietsha]

Chère Ijeawele ... de Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (2017)

[cartasquenuncaentregue]

[reverie-quotes]

Teach her to reject likeability. Her job is not to make herself likeable, her job is to be her full self, a self that is honest and aware of the equal humanity of other people.

— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions