#this episode deserved to at least be an hour because izzy deserved more after all his growth this season
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Jim's expression and clenched fists while izzy is dying and Jim being the one to dig the hole for izzys body? I'm gonna be sick.
I wish they had more time to be the friends I wanted them to be, but I think Jim genuinely appreciated and cared for him, and I wish they got the chance to tell him that :(
david jenkins i'm gonna be in your fucking walls
#ofmd season 2#ofmd spoilers#our flag means death#izzy and jim deserved to have more screen time together idc#these scenes were beautiful but god izzy deserved better#this episode deserved to at least be an hour because izzy deserved more after all his growth this season#i shall patiently wait for the fics where he's still alive and they're besties..
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New Izzy theory.
So, I've been struggling with how Izzy is portrayed after Ed and Stede leave the Revenge in Episode 9, because it didn't make a whole lot of sense to me, and I think I've hit on something.
Now look, I'm really not like, a diehard Izzy stan who is trying to woobify him, okay? Izzy is a harsh, brutal, manipulative asshole, granted. But let's review what we know about him up to that point:
He's devoted to Edward/Blackbeard, enough that once he leaves, he chooses to come up with a complicated plot that involved selling himself into the service of the British crown and (presumably) using quite a bit of money to bribe Jackie, all to get Blackbeard back.
He's a good enough sailor and leader of men that Ed chose him as first mate and he's retained that position for several years. He mentions that he's headed off mutinies (or at least, the beginnings of such) among Ed's crew before.
He's a martinet—he doesn't like idleness among the crew, thinks they should be working ALL the time and wants the ship in perfect shape.
He always wants to have a plan.
He thinks Stede's crew are useless, incompetent sailors
And now let's look at what he does after Ed and Stede leave:
He appears to let the ship sit at anchor doing fuck-all off the coast of Barbados for a least a day, probably longer.
He doesn't actually seem to be forcing the crew to do much work? Like, yes, we get the one scene of the Black crew turning the capstan while Izzy eats, more on that later, but turning the capstan is a short job to raise/lower the anchor or haul up one of the sails, no one does that for hours. And in that same scene, Lucius—the one crewmember whose idleness has particularly enraged Izzy in the past—is basically just holding a mop and clearly not actively working, and Izzy doesn't seem to care. Several other crewmembers are shown not working or not working at all hard in that scene, and then in the other scenes during that period (the mutiny plot and Oluwande & Jim's reunion), no one's working at all—almost the entire crew has the leisure to gather in the rec room and talk about a mutiny, and Oluwande and Jim are able to spend presumably hours in their cabin uninterrupted.
He makes the black crew work while the white crew are lazing around.
He gives a particularly assholish speech. Again, think back to the scene where he manipulates Stede into going on with the fuckery. The scene where he convinces Ed to kill Stede! This is not a guy who doesn't know how to effectively get people to do what he wants.
Has the entire crew watch him performatively eat a meal on the main deck.
He talks to Black Pete about becoming first mate, passing over Fang and Ivan, his longtime crewmates and minions.
Y'all, could Izzy have been trying to provoke a mutiny?
I mean, maybe it was out of some suicidal self-flagellating "I accidentally helped destroy Blackbeard and doomed him to serve the British so I deserve to die" or a "I've now committed to serve the British and not even gotten what I wanted out of it, but if the crew halfheartedly mutinies I can get out of it" or some combination thereof? But honestly, that makes more sense to me than that Izzy just suddenly forgot everything he ever knew about being an effective officer.
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reasons why phobia factor fucking slaps
ok this lowkey just turned into me rambling abt phobia factor while i rewatched it. putting it under a read more bc it’s super long lmao
like, the entire first five minutes are the campers being friendly to each other?? and vulnerable, to a degree??? you know i love that shit
courtney and trent?? talk to each other?? like. okay they’re never in the same frame together unfortunately, but they do have like, two whole back and forth conversations.
also in that campfire scene at the beginning, cody and trent are sitting next to each other and there are some. good screencaps
“exSQUEEZE me?!” like cody. ur such a dork omfg
duncan vulnerability hours
lindsay asks what a standee is and trent explains it and doesn’t mock her/isn’t annoyed with her at all, in contrast to a lot of the other campers interacting with lindsay. i love them as friends SO much u all have no idea
harold’s little scene with the ninjas. i love him sm. why does he have nunchucks with him when he goes to the bathroom??
leshawna is afraid of spiders and she runs away screaming from. chef wearing a spider suit??? like i don’t love spiders but if a man i knew wearing a spider costume was calmly walking toward me i wouldn’t react the same way as i would to a real spider. anyway i think this is hilarious.
season one heather vulnerability hours.....
i mean, i really wish they’d actually shown her talking abt her fear at the campfire, rather than just having it told by gwen in the confessional, but i get why they did that. regardless that one scene right before the sumo wrestler charges at her where she’s literally shaking.... i want to give her a hug
side note i hope the sumo wrestler is okay he hit his head quite a few times
ok so. trent accidentally leaving gwen buried underground because he’s getting chased by a mime isn’t like. a sweet gwent moment. but it is one of their interactions that i remember most vividly from tdi lmfao
what is a cute gwent moment is trent like. kneeling next to her while chris is burying her. and the face he makes at chris when he jokes abt not digging her up..... i love them sm
also gwen sounds so fucking dramatic when they close the box she’s in like. “goodbye cruel world” gwen ur being buried for 5 minutes ur not dying sdfjlafskj i love her
duncan hyping dj up before he picks up the snake is so cute?? like he’s clapping for him and he’s got what i call “adorable duncan face” which is where his eyes are full circles and he’s smiling. i can remember him making this face at courtney, dj, and alejandro throughout the series and it’s just. ugh loving soft duncan hours
“ah! it blinked” “it means she likes you” sadie where are u getting this information
okay so i googled if this was true and the result i got was “snakes can’t blink” so first of all i have no clue where sadie pulled that fact from and i have even less of an idea of where chris got that fucking. blinking snake from. is that even a snake??
when dj picks up the snake and they all hype him up?????? i love the killer bass so much it’s unreal
more cute gwent moments... gwen and trent talking on the walkie talkies.. they’re so cute
when the mime pops up behind trent and he does that little scream.... it’s loving trent hours u guys
trent is so bothered by a mime literally just. being a mime. me too trent. me too.
duncan and the celine dion music store standee.... everything abt that scene
"DUDE SHE’S MADE OF CARDBOARD” tyler i love you
courtney genuinely saying that it’s okay if he can’t do it (when she was being harsh to dj about the snake earlier..... duncney is so good in tdi u guys)
and then theY HOLD HANDS GUYSSSS IM SOFT FOR THEM
and THAT is what gives duncan the encouragement he needs to go for it?? they’re so good.
his “okay, okay” right before going for it... duncan’s voice acting is so good in this episode omfg
THE MUSIC THAT PLAYS WHEN HE HUGS THE STANDEE AND THEN EVERYONE CHEERING ITS SUCH A GOOD SCENE
THE DUNCNEY HUG
“duncan, you’re awesome!” and the look of shock on his face at both the fact that he did it and that courtney’s hugging him...... have i mentioned i love duncney yet?? bc i do
i can’t believe i used to dislike duncney omfg
then when courtney realizes that she’s hugging him and steps back jafksdfjlsa she’s so cute
and then the rest of the bass come over and hype duncan up more like. i love how supportive they all are in this episode!!
trent is so excited when he finally gets the mime to leave him alone fakjldjfl like he didn’t have to ROAST the dude. but he did.
chris somehow owns a remote control hail cloud?
lindsay getting excited about the “baby cloud” and calling it over?? she’s so cute omfg
trent fucking. hates geoff. gwent has geoffphobia in tdi ig
when they dig up gwen and she throws the walkie talkie at his head but he doesn’t stop smiling..... your honor i love them
owen and izzy getting out of the plane and kissing the ground together..... adorable.
cody with a fucking. watermelon on his head and covered in trash scares bridgette out of the woods. that will never not be funny to me
THAT ONE FUCKING SCENE. WHERE SADIE AND LINDSAY HYPE EACH OTHER UP. THAT MAY BE ONE OF MY FAVORITE SCENES IN THE ENTIRE SERIES. I LOVE THEM SM
the only bad thing abt this ep- tyler should have gotten the fucking point. he completed the challenge. i love courtney, but realistically, she should have gone home this ep and tyler should have stayed.
bridgette hyping tyler up...... im soft they should be friends
“quit being such a girl” courtney im sorry but the only reason you’re still in the game rn is because ezekiel made sexist comments in episode one. what are u saying lmfao
tyler and heather’s reactions to their fears rly make me think. bc like. most of the other campers have a more outward, loud reaction, maybe scream and run away. a couple are just a little wigged out. gwen gets a little snippy and is clearly super freaked out as well. but tyler and heather just. completely shut down. like, curled up in a ball, nonverbal, and shaking. makes u think.
why did cody need a calculator to figure out that the score was 7/3....... cody is canon lgbt+ bc he can’t do basic math without a calculator confirmed
also regardless of how little sense that made. at least that screencap gave us commie cody
when gwen starts trying to psych courtney out and heather like. gasps and looks shocked..... i like to think that heather feels a little bad for courtney here. heathney real.
duncan and bridgette hyping courtney up..... i love the killer bass so much omfg
courtney looks so sad when she walks away from the jelly.......
and then in the confessional right after?? she’s like. crying a little bit :( and she’s beating herself up abt it like..... :( courtney no
LITERALLY she’s like “how could i be so weak” “i deserve to go home” “you’re pathetic” (to herself) and then tells herself to show some confidence and then. she just starts crying again. and then slaps herself?? GOD I FUCKING LOVE COURTNEY SHE’S SO HARD ON HERSELF
owen just. hangin out in the tub of jelly. i love u, u wild dude. fuckin sit in that green jelly. loving owen hours
the little look that courtney and tyler give each other when they’re the last two without marshmallows..... half solidarity half “i don’t want to be the one going home”. i love them sm :(
i KNOW i said this earlier but. tyler should NOT have gone home this episode!!!!!! only bad thing abt this ep
all the fuckin chicken puns are a little bit funny tho
“he won’t be flying high tonight” bridgette chickens can’t fly
when courtney goes “okay, that’s enough” like. tyler’s not even there at this point but she’s defending him. maybe it’s because she still feels she should have gone home instead? maybe it’s because of that little bit of solidarity she felt for him when they were the final two without a marshmallow? maybe i’m reading too much into this? but idk. i think it’s sweet
okay no i have another complaint. what the fuck was the whole boat ride for tyler?? like when sadie gets eliminated the surprise she gets is that katie is on the boat. when tyler is on the boat, CRYING, after literally none of his teammates came to see him off, after he LITERALLY COMPLETED THE CHALLENGE BUT DIDN’T GET CREDIT FOR IT. the fucking. CHICKENS POP OUT?????? tyler deserved better
also some of the challenges were a lot easier, or at the very least, harder to fail than others this ep. i love it but come on. lindsay and sadie vs like. gwen vs owen and izzy vs dj. there were very different time limits, actual fright level, ability to back out once they were doing the challenge.... not a fair challenge
also uhm. if we’re being technical tyler and heather had the exact same reaction to their fears, so why did heather get a point and tyler didn’t? if the chicken had run at him, would he have won? smh
i do love this episode so much but. i had a couple complaints
okay finally lindsay’s little confessional to tyler where she blows him a kiss.... they’re so adorable lyler rights!!
#total drama#long post#phobia factor#confessional#duncney#gwent#lyler#courtney#duncan#trent#heather#gwen#tyler#leshawna#geoff#dj#bridgette#sadie#owen#izzy#cody#trody#heathney#harold#god i fucking love this ep
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the lighthouse chronicles: part 10/10
big birthday bash
how often do sapient vehicles celebrate their birthdays anyway? depending on how they process time, having their birthday/build date celebration every year could get excessive/tiring.
in one episode, there’s a really loud audio glitch that scared the shit out of me the first time i heard it. the problem is that i can’t remember what episode it was, just that it happened in a scene involving zorran (because of course it did)
top hat’s voice sounds really off fsr
ffs otis, you’re a grown adult. quit being so pouty to the literal child who gave away the surprise by accident.
never thought i’d say this, but i genuinely feel really bad for ten cents here. he’s just a kid who just made a mistake, and what do top hat and otis (adults) do? top hat rats him out to sunshine, and otis acts all passive aggressive towards him.
and even sunshine gets mad at him and says that they may as well just cancel the party!
“it’s okay, you can throw me a surprise party another time” or you could at least pretend to be surprised and try to enjoy the party because it’s the mature thing to do, otis?
“what do you want me to do, sink myself?” “not a bad idea” hey sunshine, what the fuck
the other tugs (seemingly) only forgive him because captain star told them to
and so the party happens and all is well except for the fact that no one apologizes to ten cents for being so awful to him over an honest mistake
stop the music
it’s a whole episode of singing. help
and yes, this is the episode where zorran raps
i am going to outlaw the snugboat harbor song fest
grampus sinking into the water and going “blblblblbl” is a mood
zorran no. zorran please don’t do it, i know you’re evil or sth but-
i thought you were better than this, zorran
“do you want to be famous?” “you mean i’m not already?”
unfortunately, this episode is where i got my headcanon that top hat can sing. i sincerely apologize
grampus dismisses top hat’s singing when he’s the only boat who can remotely carry a tune
sunshine’s voice is at its absolute most grating in this scene jfc
“i’ll never be ready for the song fest :(” (triumphant music playing in the bg)
hooray, “work together” or something, no moral is worth a whole episode of singing
let’s wing it
oh no, vegetable puns
zak’s voice is almost as cursed as zip’s
i never want to hear zorran say “mayonnaise” in any context for any reason ever again
why do the boats know what salad dressing is?
big stack, quit singing
“wish i could help” i appreciate the sentiment izzy, but you are a steam tramper, not a tug, and your dream of helping with the ocean liner can never be
and so we end on a vegetable pun
no strings attached
another music-themed episode?? oh no
another log jam?
are tugboats an instrument?
no patrick, tugboats are not an instrument
coast guard boats are not an instrument either
top hat using his horn/whistle to play the first few notes of the theme song implies that he’s aware of the fourth wall
ten cents, don’t bother cappy. he has important coast guard stuff to do
dammit ten cents, you pulled a coast guard vessel away from his job. people could die
love how ten cents talks abt cappy’s whistle and cappy is represented by a completely different boat.
the rhyming brings up memories of miller-era thomas. and that’s not a compliment
the song sounds like sth out of an obscure 16-bit game that’s only remembered for one song and only because that song was used in a meme
guilty gull
how rich are salty’s parents to get him a working, driveable toy car for his birthday?
you know an episode’s gonna be interesting when it starts with zug getting blamed for something he says he didn’t do
again with the fire barge! i’m banning zip and zug from having any contact with fire barges unless it’s an emergency
do you think billy’s aware that the tugs only really talk to him when they need him for arson?
i think he is, and he’s cool about it. billy, you deserve better. get some friends who see you for more than your skill at arson
f in the chat for zug, the snugboat harbor scapegoat
i know that it’s just tradition to refer to ships as she/her, but in the context of this show it sounds like the stuck tanker is sapient and the tugs are going to destroy her anyway
sl!zug deserves better 2k21
bivalve blues
sunshine’s voice sounds really strained fsr
“wanna hear my new riddle?” “not now. bye” same, ten cents. same
sad boat hours
honestly ten cents has every right to be sad and upset after the events of “big birthday bash”
that’s not why he’s sad though, he’s upset bc he feels unappreciated or sth
a fire?? that escalated quickly, holy shit
love how bluenose is just sitting in the background with no one noticing/acknowledging him as ten cents takes the fuel barge
also that split second of bluenose twitching/shaking at the end
honestly i’m more interested in whatever the hell’s going on with him
i’m sad because they had to incorporate and re-dub that emotional ending scene from “munitions”
ten cents gets cheered up, the other tugs appreciate him, sunshine finally tells him her riddle, and bluenose is presumably scarred for life because this the last episode and we never see him again after this.
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Will you love me in my darkness as I love you in yours I’m not afraid of your darkness i can only love you more Don’t be afraid of my darkness I’m not afraid of yours Just love me in my darkness as I love you in yours
————-
Pairing: Sheres/Mereel
Rating: T for war themes
Warning: PTSD and its symptoms, gore, cloneshipping
Summary: Because beneath the jokes, beneath the brush-offs, there are two men who have seen and done so many things that will forever weigh on their very soul. And those who have never done or seen those things will never understand on the same level as they understand each other.
Notes: Tagging @izzyovercoffee for reasons that should be obvious. It may be my birthday month but izzy gets the gift. I hope u enjoy it! I did my best to subvert the trope of ‘triggered person goes on rampage against people who don’t deserve it’ while also avoiding any kind of fight with a loved one. Please don’t feel obligated to read if your own mental state isn’t secure but neither is it TOO detailed.
************
An ARC was supposed to be fearless. That was what everyone said. But Jango had been very clear that a man must know fear. That any man who said he did not fear anything was a fool. Jango had been afraid of so many things. Afraid that the training wouldn’t be enough, afraid that they would all wind up dead, afraid they would blame everyone else but him for what was their life (especially that last one while also hoping they could forgive him in time).
Sheres hated whenever he could feel the slight up tick in pulse when a mission started to feel like the one he had lost Cyclo and Nas on. Luckily his hands always stayed steady. He had spent so long learning to put a cap on things, to work through everything outside of a mission instead. But he still could not stop the physiological symptoms. But he knew Jango wouldn’t be disappointed with him about it. So long as he knew the where and when for dealing with it.
He couldn’t really remember how he had arrived at the rendezvous point. All he could remember was the mission environment resembling the one he had lost his vode in. At least he knew he had gone after the right person. He was in civilian clothes so he didn’t have gloves to hide the cracked skin of his knuckles, his blood mingling with the blood of his target. His training had been thorough enough that even in a semi-blackout state his body had gotten him out of the vicinity and to friendly territory. A more ignorant person may have bandied about the explanation of the Force. But their training had made so many things second nature, augmented with good old fashioned experience in the field.
His head jerked up from his study of his bloodied and cracked hands when the door in front of him hissed open and he was met with a face that strongly resembled his own but bore different lines, different scars, slightly different shade of iris, and sometimes a different bulkhead stare. He was still too concerned about his own situation to be too thrown by the fact his counterpart had also decided on different hair.
“Hey, I was starting to wor–” the teasing smirk that had been forming fell away in an instant as he took in the sight before him. Sheres was slouched over, holding his hands limply in front of him as if unable to figure out where they should go. Within another fraction of a second, Mereel quickly yet gingerly pulled Sheres into the building by the lapel and upper torso of his shirt, a gently whispered ‘C’mere, I got you’ heard at the same time. Sheres didn’t struggle and mutely allowed himself to be led, his feet on autopilot to let Mereel guide him over to a couch that was barely holding together like a metaphor for Sheres’s own mental state.
Mereel couldn’t remember the last time Sheres had returned looking the way he was. Regardless, he didn’t bother asking what had happened, it was neither important nor unknown to him what the look and nonverbal state meant.
Instead he removed the shirt that was also covered in blood. He carefully checked over Sheres’s torso just to be sure he only needed to worry about the sniper’s hands. Once he was certain, he brought over a bowl of water, bacta spray, bandages, and a small length of cloth. With expert precision, Mereel wiped off all the blood starting to cake around Sheres’s knuckles and in the creases of his palms.
Mereel was extra careful drying the skin with the cloth, his own hands showing tiny scars from his own missions. He then carefully wrapped Sheres’s palms with the bandaging that was sprayed by bacta. Once finished, he offered a calming smile to Sheres who stared blankly back.
Another person may have been annoyed by Sheres not even saying thank you, but Mereel was experienced enough to know Sheres was incapable of saying it at the moment, not even a greeting would pass his lips for a while. All that mattered to Mereel was that Sheres had made it back relatively safely.
With another reassuring smile, Mereel got up and went about cleaning the area of the supplies and getting rid of the evidence that was the bloody shirt. He was far more used to their roles being reversed, but didn’t mind the chance of paying the Alpha back.
By the time the Null got back from tossing the shirt far away from both the safe house and the scene of the somewhat botched assassination, Sheres had managed to finally stand up but was still in a bit of a daze as he raided the conservator for something, anything, that his stomach wouldn’t disagree with. Mereel hovered by the door as it hissed closed behind him to give Sheres time to look over and not be startled too badly, which he did barely a second after the door closed.
Sheres was still silent but gave a nod of thanks. Mereel nodded back before walking closer. He gently touched Sheres’s lower back and dipped his head to lightly contact with Sheres’s temple. The side Keldabe kiss brought a smile to the Alpha’s face for the first time that standard day.
Even though only one of them was actually mute for the time being, Mereel didn’t say anything if only because this wasn’t the first time this had happened and so it was just easier to be together in silence rather than Mereel awkwardly filling the room with his voice. He lightly tapped a short rhythm on Sheres’s lower back and the Alpha stepped away from the conservator.
In no time, Mereel had gathered up some of the meager foodstuffs he had stocked for the duration of their mission. Not long after, the smell of food filled the small apartment. Sheres watched nearby; it was calming seeing Mereel practically dance through the kitchen like master chef.
Sheres was halfway through his meal when something of a trauma aftershock darted through his mind. Before Mereel could ask what was wrong, Sheres was almost all the way down the hallway to the tiny bedroom. The Null caught up with the Alpha quickly, though, but made sure to keep a respectful distance. Forcing Sheres to talk through it at this stage would have been a terrible idea. But he hated just watching.
The sniper paced restlessly, mouth moving but no words actually coming out. His hands opened and closed, but any pain the action caused was ignored. Eventually he sat on the foot of the bed, though it looked more like he collapsed on it.
Mereel waited a few aching heartbeats. He then stepped closer, slowly, watching Sheres for a sign that he didn’t want company. But instead Sheres just sat, staring at the floor and cradling his hands together.
The Null crouched down in front of Sheres and reached out with both hands to cup Sheres’s slightly larger ones. The touch startled Sheres slightly, but that in itself was a good thing.
They sat like that for what felt like hours but was actually minutes, but in a good way. The touch, the quiet, gave Sheres time to put his mind back in order.
Again, Sheres’s mouth moved but no words came out. Even so, Mereel whispered soothing words and insisted Sheres not force anything. Sheres gave a look of frustration. Now that he was out of danger, out of his violent visit down memory lane, he needed to debrief Mereel.
Mereel felt guilty, though. They both knew that regardless of the fact Sheres had the training for it, close quarters stuff was not in his wheelhouse. Mereel should have been the one to do it. But the Alpha had insisted since Mereel had just come back from another mission that had not involved Sheres. Missions together were sadly quite rare, despite the reasons being rather ridiculous.
“Blood,” Sheres rasped suddenly, the word automatically coming out in Mando'a rather than Basic. He had, after all, grown up with Mando'a first with Basic ironically second.
“Gone. No trace.” The response was in the same language. Mereel did not entirely mean the blood itself, but all that it had splattered on.
“Hands,” the word came out with an almost forlorn look.
“Will heal fine.”
The short phrases were often a hallmark of recovery from “episodes” as they were known. Neither was doing it to be condescending.
“Ambush,” Sheres finally ‘explained’ why he had come back in the state he had. Mereel could not hide his surprise at the word. They had been so sure the target was unaware of the so-called price on his head. “Seemed clear. Explosive. Distraction.”
“You don’t have to debrief me right this second, cyar,” Mereel reassured.
In response, Sheres lightly squeezed Mereel’s hands as if to say “I must”. It wasn’t the first time he had been ambushed, but too many variables had lined up to dredge up the memories of the worst one of his life. In fact, he was usually triggered by smells instead of action or sight.
Sheres was about to continue when a soft kind of chime interrupted him. His gaze turned to the datapad nearby that had been programmed to let them know whenever a news report mentioned certain words. Mereel begrudgingly untangled his hands from Sheres’s so he could get up and pick it up. He angled it so his partner couldn’t see the screen, making Sheres frown.
“–it will take some time to piece together the events here today. As you can see, barely any part of this room is bloodless. For some time it was assumed the victim had been ripped apart so badly there were no solid parts left to piece back together.”
Mereel almost muted the datapad until Sheres gave him a look that stopped him. He needed to know.
“And indeed, it seems he is one step away from being mere pulp. At this time there are no suspects and basically zero leads. Whoever did this knew what they were doing, even if they seem to have gone a little out of control. In this next room we found the very few remains of a weapons dealer that the Republic has been after for some time. We found traces of a second person but no indication that they were also brought to an almost pulp. While they may be the cause, the investigators will not be treating it as a manhunt but rather a rescue effort.”
Sheres looked away and down to his hands. While Alpha 17 was the most proficient of the Alphas in close quarters, Sheres was no slouch in rendering his opponent to being mush. The explosive had helped though, in ways the target had not expected.
Even though it was sanctioned, the two ARCs were quite used to their missions being swept under the rug, the paperwork filed under ‘highly classified until further notice’. So neither were surprised at the prospect that the local law enforcement would investigate. They knew that if the local LEOs got too close to figuring it out though, that Republic spook overseers would take the necessary action.
If only Sheres had managed to take the target out in the way they had planned it. They had leeway for mission success that many other clones didn’t but that also did not mean Sheres would shrug over how it had truly gone down.
“Sorry,” Sheres mumbled as Mereel turned the datapad off.
“No. Not your fault. You got the job done and came home. That is what matters.”
Sheres clenched his eyes shut before slowly burying his face into Mereel’s shoulder. I want to be better, echoed in his head. Mereel sighed and rested his cheek on Sheres’s head.
“Vor’e.”
“Always.”
#izzyovercoffee#sheres#shereshoy fett#mereel skirata#shereel#r: boot polish and blaster smoke#izzy#my writing#source for icon can be found by clicking the icon#ptsd tag#gore tag
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ok so like, dont hate me 4 sending a lot (you can leave some out if you want) but for the character thing: Noah, Eva, Izzy, Trent, Courtney, Owen and Alejandro
Don’t worry about it Dude! I love babbling on about these dumb kids!
I, However do hate that this is the second time I had to write this, because Tumblr Hates me, and Life is Pain!
I hope this is as good as the first one I wrote, or at the very least, I hope you aren’t disappointed by my answers.
NOAH
How I feel about this character: Noah is definitely my favorite TD character! It is, however, important to note that I hate him and his dumb mean face. It’s also important to note that, in spite of being, just the worse, I do love him with all of my heart. I cherish him, and he does not deserve it.
All the people I ship romantically with this character: Nowen is the OTP, but I also really like one sided Alenoah! I think there are quite a few moments in WT that suggest our boy got a crush! Most notably that little smile he gives in “Newf Kids on the Rock” when Alejandro helps him out of the water. I also think he had a short lived Crush on Cody after the Kiss, that he will take to his Grave. I just really like the Idea of this Cynical Boy getting Crushes and being mad about it.
My non-romantic OTP for this character: noah.... an eva... r.... frens...
My unpopular opinion about this character: OK so originally I had two things here, one of which being that he sucks, which is true, but I feel like people already know that. So instead I’m going to share a headcannon that I’ll die by? Which is kind of an opinion?
So basically, I HC that Noah Loves physical affection, but he also Really Cares What People Think Of Him, so he, like, denies his want for hugs. But, the thing is, he can’t help himself when sleeping, and he has a tendency to cling to the nearest thing. Which is why we usually see him sleeping with his arms wrapped around himself, and when we see that he didn’t do that we next see him wake up wrapped around someone. This is also why I think he hugged Bridgette back in WT after Courtney Suggested they huddle for warmth. I think ya Boi weighed his options and figured this would be the best time to get some of that sweet sweet Physical Attention That He Craves that also comes with a believable and simple excuse. I would even go so far as to say he picked Bridgette specifically because she’s Nice and Chill, and he figured she wouldn’t make a big deal out of it (But his plan doesn’t work how he intended, since Bridge is on Edge cause of Alejandro.) I also think this is one of the things He likes about hanging with Owen; because Owen lives and Breathes PDA, so Noah doesn’t have to embarrass himself by asking for hugs, he just has to wait until Owen does it by himself and pretend he’s upset by it.
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.: I really wish he had character Development? Like actual Character Development. So, in Island and World Tour, he’s just a sass boy. His only purpose really was comic relief, and he does his job well. But RR rolls up and he’s not the same boy? Like he’s still Noah, he still say’s things he would say, and like he’s just grown up, but like, we don’t see that? We don’t see Noah Change, we’re just told he did? I mean I guess there’s a Little, and I mean LITTLE, bit in WT, with how we see he loves his dog, and the subtle way he treats Owen. Like he’s still being kinda mean, but it’s always softer with Owen in WT, or with a level of fondness that you know he didn’t mean it to be Rude (Which was a good move, I think, because the Idea that Owen and Noah have very different ways they show affection is very good.) But that really isn’t??? Anything??? And it doesn’t help that the RR’s explanation for his change isn’t even that he’s grown over time, no, the change is hand waved away with, “Oh, well he’s in love Now :)” Like???? There’s a lot wrong with that, but let’s focus on how we can make this boy’s conclusion better and more satisfying.
So first, instead of falling for Emma immediately after she does some flips (Which???? You tellin’ me, Local Lazy Boy, who won’t Even Watch Dodge Ball let alone Play it, is turned on by some Flips??? Falsehood.) We have Owen and Kitty become friends due to their similar fun loving and friendly personalities, which causes the two teams to be around each other more. At first Noah and Emma hate it, but then they start complaining about their partners, which leads to jokes, which leads to “Oh, wow, they’re smart.”, which leads to Respect, which leads to talking about more personal stuff, which leads to Friendship.(And, I guess if Fresh really wants a smooch, it could end in romance, but it’s not Necessary.) And then audience get’s to watch Noah let down his wall of snark and let another person into his life, which would of been more rewarding. (Also, it would be Better for Emma this way to, because her Arc would be about trusting people again after her break-up)
EVA
How I feel about this character: Eva is very Good. I really love her competitive personality, but the little moments are the ones that kill me. The ones where she’s with her friends, and you get this feeling that Eva is just A sweetheart Who cares a lot about things?? That’s the best.
All the people I ship romantically with this character: Evzy is adorable. I love the Idea of them meeting on the Playa de Losers, and Eva being absolutely smitten with Izzy, cause she’s strong and athletic, but also filled with all of the energy and is just a blast to be around. I have this headcannon that when we see them hanging out at the beginning of Total Drama Drama Drama Drama Island, I think Eva joined the Marshmallow/Burping contest to impress Izzy, and was really disappointed that she could only do 37. But it’s fine because Izzy loves her buff Girlfriend anyway
My non-romantic OTP for this character: eva..... noah.... fren...
Ok, I’ll give a little more on this, but only because their friendship is a hill I’m prepared to die on. So, I think that they bonded on the Playa, being the 2nd and 3rd people out, they had a l lot of time to get to know each other, and at first their friendship was more just a solidarity between to people who hate people. But then they started sharing insults with each other, until it grew into the two of them sitting back on the Playa, far enough from the other Losers where they couldn’t hear them, but close enough to see the others, and just do insulting voice overs? Do you know what I mean? Just talk over what the other were saying, and laughing together at what they came up with? I think that’s nice. I also think that when all of Team Escope + Owen get together to hangout, they do this, but it started with Eva and Noah.
My unpopular opinion about this character: I don’t know if this is unpopular or not, but I think when it comes to her friends and others she cares about, Eva is a Sweetheart. Like she’s still very irritable, but she does her best, and she loves her friends and I think that’s beautiful.
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: Eva deserves more Screen time. I think she has so much potential, and the little we’ve been given is already really good. I think they cold have gotten another season out of her where we could watch her build and solidify relationships. (I’m actually working on a rewrite of TD, because apparently that’s what I think of as fun, where Eva is in the final two of Island and has this whole arc about making friends and letting people in, and that should happen but for real.)
IZZY
How I feel about this character: Izzy was one of Baby Me’s Favorite Characters, but as time has gone on I’ve Kinda out grew her? I still LOVE her though, especially her Interactions with others.
All the people I ship romantically with this character: Baby Sky would of Sworn by Ozzy, but now I feel they work so much better as Friends. However Eva and Izzy are In Love.
My non-romantic OTP for this character: Though Izzy and Noah’s friendship is something precious to me, Izzy and Owen are BFF’s. Like they’re the kind of BFF’s that when together, their brain turns off and they go and do the dumbest stuff and have a blast doing it! I think I would go so far as to say that they’re soulmates with how well they go together.
My unpopular opinion about this character: This probably isn’t unpopular, but What Is That Girl Wearing???? She’s Active and Outdoors-y, She wouldn’t wear that??? Where did she even get that??? I strongly disagree with her outfit.
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I wish they showed more interactions with Eva and Noah. The three of them go together really well, and when they’re together you can really feel the friendship. My favorite example of this is in TDWT episode Slap Slap Revolution, where Alejandro Put’s Noah in charge of Izzy, and when it cuts back to the two Izzy is just carrying Noah around??? Like??? That’s so Cute??? I would have loved more stuff like that.
TRENT
How I feel about this character: Oh???? Good Boy Time??? I’ve always Really liked Trent, and I will die mad about what they did to him >:(
All the people I ship romantically with this character: Gwent will always be cute. Trody however has cleared my skin and saved my Crops. I’m Flourishing. I can’t quite put my finger on why I like them together? I only just started shipping them, and there is so few fanworks with them, but they are adorable which is basically my only criteria.
My non-romantic OTP for this character: Honorable mention goes out to the Drama Brothers, who are all friends, and it’s very good. However, ya boy’s Best Friend is definitely Gwen. I think post breakup, they make up and continue a friendship that is similar to what they had on Island sans wanting to smooch. I just feel like the two can talk for hours about absolutely nothing.
My unpopular opinion about this character: I Like the Nine Thing, It’s not That Bad.
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.: I wish if they were gonna give Trent the 9 thing, that they introduce it in Island? Like in “Not Quite Famous” Gwen Catches him doing it before auditioning and asks what it was about, and he’s embarrassed but he shares with her anyway. And he does it again before preforming and it get’s established as a thing he does when nervous? Like he would do it other times throughout the show, but one that’s coming to mind is when Lindsay makes him the Puffer fish, he could tap his fork 9 times before eating it. Stuff like that.This is also stuff in my rewrite, oops.
COURTNEY
How I feel about this character: Oh! Good Girl Alert! I think Courtney is very cool. Sure, she’s a little High Strung and Intense, but that’s what makes her Courtney!
All the people I ship romantically with this character: Duncney is very cute when you ignore Him Cheating and Her wanting to change 47 things about him. But like, when he’s looking at the stars and asks if Gwen thinks Courtney is looking at the same stars??? That’s adorable. Gwourtney, also seems cute, and I might ship it more after I watch All-Stars! Heather and Courtney seem cute to, and so does Bridgette and Courtney... Courtney is good in ships, is what I’m saying.
My non-romantic OTP for this character: My gut was Telling me to say Bridgette, but then I got punched with the Thought of Emma and Courtney being Friendly Law Rivals and..... Emma and Courtney are Friends. I think that they’re similar in a way that would cause them to butt heads, but I feel like their relationship would have a lot of respect and understanding to where they wouldn’t stay mad at each other for very long. I also think they’d agree on a lot, and just really enjoy their conversations with each other.
My unpopular opinion about this character: Honestly?? I’m pretty sure all of my opinions of Courtney are pretty run of the mil? Maybe after finishing my Re-watch of WT and finally watching AS I’ll have opinions that people would want to fight me on, but as of now, I got nothin’.
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.: Courtney is such a hard worker, and she’s also really smart and determined. She definitely should have made it to the final two in a season, and I feel like the reason she wasn’t was because she stopped being Courtney, and became Courtney, Duncan’s Girlfriend; or Courtney, Duncan’s Ex; or Courtney, the one with a Strained Friendship. She didn’t get a chance to be her own character. Maybe that’s an unpopular opinion? Maybe I could have put that above this? Who Knows.
OWEN
How I feel about this character: *GASP* Here Comes another good Boy! I really love Owen, even if I don’t always appreciate how they use him.
All the people I ship romantically with this character: He loves his little Buddy So much :’)...... He wants to Top His Honor Roll :’)......... He wants Noah to be his Hero (Which he already is). :’)........ Noah Helps him with his fear of Flying :’)....... And Owen helps Noah come out of his shell and not be afraid to be himself and have fun:’)..... They..... They love Each other so much :’)
My non-romantic OTP for this character: Owen and Izzy are BFF’s! Owen Loves Izzy SO much, and I think he definitely misunderstood all of his love as Romantic at one point, and when he realized he didn’t like her that way he didn’t want to say anything at first because he does love her and he didn’t want to hurt her. Which is not the right choice, but he’s such a good Boy :’)
My unpopular opinion about this character: I don’t think He should have won Island. I think there were other characters who were trying harder than Owen, and who wanted to win, as apposed to Owen who just wanted to have fun and Make friends. Which there is nothing wrong with that, and I do think he should of made it far, but I think there were other characters who deserved the win more. I think a better end for Owen in Island would have been, instead of the Losers repeating Leshawna’s Name, they do that with Owen’s. I think this would of been a nice end for our boy, because all he wanted was to make Friends and have a good time, and this elimination would be a testament to how good at that he was.
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.: I wish they had focused less on fart jokes and fat jokes, and more on his friendly and fun loving personality. Owen is a really good Boy, and I feel like that get’s overshadowed by how he’s used as comic relief, and that’s a shame.( I want to clarify that my problem isn’t that he’s comic relief, it’s the comedy they use with him. )
ALEJANDRO
How I feel about this character: I think Alejandro is a Really good Villain. He’s fun to watch and to Root against. (I’m not as familiar with Alejandro as I am with the others, so I won’t have as much to say as the ones prior)
All the people I ship romantically with this character: Aleheather is very good! I’m a big fan of their dynamic.
My non-romantic OTP for this character: I’m not sure yet. I’m Currently re-watching WT, so I might come to a conclusion by the end of it. Or maybe in AS. But I will find him a Friend. I will, Oooh, I will.
My unpopular opinion about this character: 0/10 Not Enough Eel.
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.: So far, the show has done pretty good with Ya boi, which is surprising. I hope it will stay that way, but I kinda doubt it? There is also nothing I can think of that I’d want to see? Maybe him insulting someone in Spanish, but saying it like a complement, but there is a chance he has done that, and I Just Didn’t Catch it.
#Character Break Down Ask#ask#td Noah#td Eva#td izzy#td trent#td courtney#td owen#td alejandro#for Trent about the 9 thing I used 9 words :)#i hope you like these dude#thanks for asking!
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Danny Phantom Sentence Starters - S01E01-S01E11
I know I missed the Dannyversary by that much, but this show’s dialogue was gold and deserves to be acknowledged. I only did up to E11 because I ran out of transcripts, but I might do more some other time.
Feel free to change pronouns/wording/etc. as needed.
Episode 1 - Mystery Meat
Look at you! You're too excited to speak! So I'll just go on speaking.
Parents don't listen. Even worse, they don't understand! WHY CAN'T THEY ACCEPT ME FOR WHO I AM?!
No, no. The rumors about the new all-steak buffet in the teacher's lounge are completely untrue.
I ordered three mud pies. Do you know what they gave me? Three mud pies. With mud! From! The! Ground!
These are the best years of my life! After high school, it's all downhill for me!
I...command you to...go away!
Well, if this superhero thing doesn't work out, I can have an exciting career as a busboy.
I control lunch! Lunch is sacred! Lunch has rules!
Then perish!
How is it that I have the ghost powers and you're the weird kid?
This is all going in the memoir.
Episode 2 - Parental Bonding
Please! Don't say you've suddenly fallen for me. That line is so last semester.
You just set an all-time speed record for drowning in the shallow end of the gene pool.
Well, you are kind of cute. And you have great taste in underwear.
It's a lie, I'm not a ghost! I-I mean...she's not my girlfriend.
You better let her know your family's insane now. If you marry her and she finds out later, that's entrapment.
If you upset her, we're going to have a violent talk.
Excuse me! Excuse me! Adult coming through. I shave every day.
This dance gets better and better with every passing minute.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to dance with my wife. That's what we adults do, dance with our wives.
If by memories you mean things you remember that I don't, then yes! Go ahead and remind me of stuff I'll totally agree to remembering.
The DJ's still playing. And I think there's time for one last dance?
Episode 3 - One Of A Kind
Touch the box and your pelt will adorn my fireplace.
Who said yes? The person you asked if you were a conceited snob?
I don't have time for extra credit...or your agendas.
I can always stop and appreciate high-quality bullying.
Time flies when you're majestically scratching your butt.
[Name], come on. We're just a bunch of kids. In the zoo. At night. Alone.
Home in time for some well-deserved rest. But keep it quick, because you've got thirteen minutes.
Hmm, my sensors indicate you're an average human, destined for an average life after high school.
Hello, misplaced aggression.
Episode 4 - Attack Of The Killer Garage Sale
I'm doing a thesis on tutoring the un-tutorable, and you're disproving my thesis that nobody's un-tutorable!
Now that that twinkie's out of the way, you're coming to my party Saturday, right?
I say we hit the amusement park. I hear the new roller coaster has a free fall that'll take three years off your life expectancy.
Why don't we get invited to the really cool parties? We've got style, charm, good looks. At least I do, anyway.
This is not junk! Every single item in this box is of vital importance to me.
See you tonight. And just because I can't believe I'm saying it, I will say it again. See you tonight.
My great-granddad Izzy was an inventor. He invented that machine that twirls cellophane around deli toothpicks.
Well, is it the bomb? Is it fresh? Is it stoopid? With an o-o?
Oh, it's stupid. I'll give you that.
Who's your daddy?
Episode 5 - Splitting Images
Whoo! Take it off! No, seriously. He should take it off. That's weird.
You look like you've seen a ghost. Or something really scary that we don't see every single day.
Don't worry. Maybe girls will talk to you in college.
These gloves are made for grabbing!
Spiff diddly dee, man. So this is what it's like to have friends.
You may have my powers, but you sure don't know how to use them. 'Course, I don't know how to use them, but at least I know how not to use them better than you do.
You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses. You couldn't hit a guy with glasses. In fact, you couldn't hit the broad side of a barn!
My fifteen minutes of popularity is up, and I wasn't even here for it.
Episode 6 - What You Want
Some people have a lot, and some people don’t. But everybody's got something. Me, I've got charm, good looks, and modesty.
Wh-where am I? And why do I feel that I'm special and adorable?
A car smashing into the twenty-eighth floor of anything is bad!
If I weren't a C student, I would've thought of that five days ago.
They say, "Be careful what you wish for." To that, I'd like to add a big, fat "Duh!"
Episode 7 - Bitter Reunions
Hey, we've been circling this town for hours. We could have been halfway to Florida by now. Ask for directions.
You have a battle cry, hilarious.
Dude, you are one seriously crazed-up fruit loop.
So, [Name], when did you first realize your husband was a monster bent on destroying his smarter, more successful, and better-dressed peers?
[Name], for all the years I thought you were a crackpot, I sort of apologize.
Episode 8 - Prisoners Of Love
There's a casserole in the freezer right next to the ectoplasmic residue samples!
Wow, heh, pretty much everyone who hates me all at one table. Just like high school.
Can I get anything, dearie? Coffee? Pudding? An extra helping of DOOM?!
But the one thing you know more than anything — even more than that ghosts exist and that your sister is a bitter old bat — is that I love you, baby.
Episode 9 - My Brother’s Keeper
I could hardly watch. Though I did get some good digital pics.
Here, take my seat, you've already taken my friends.
Another ringing endorsement for the town screw-up.
Another day, another 24 hours closer to a career of pumping gas.
Apparently, I'm gonna end up a hobo. I didn't even know they had hobos anymore!
I'm usually the sour one around here. But compared to everyone else, I'm the goth bird of happiness.
There's only an i in misery if you spell it that way!
Episode 10 - Shades Of Gray
Hey, who let the dogs in! ...You see, the song is "Who let the dogs out,” but I said “Who let the dogs in.”
Nice pooch! Easy. That lady isn't edible. And neither is anything she cooks.
NO! It was a fake-out make-out.
That's life! Well, your life, anyway.
379 girls at our school, and you've got to have a crush on the one with the weapons and the grudge.
Episode 11 - Fanning The Flames
Oh yeah, you’re one of a kind! Every single one of you.
Attention, freakishly dressed teen idol! I order you to cease and desist!
Wow. I just never realized...you’re really pretty when you’re about to fall off a building.
But you’re over there and I’m over here. I wanna be over there!
[Name], we can’t lock the kids in some medieval containment device.
You snuck out to see me! Oh, this is just like Romeo and Juliet, except I’m the one on the balcony, and I can understand everything we’re saying.
You want me to open up? Okay. Um, one time, when I was five, I really wanted a puppy, but my parents—
You’re beautiful when you’re wracked with guilt.
Mindless teenage rebellion and a killer light show? Is this an awesome concert or what!
This would an example of irony: a literary device employing the incongruity between what might be expected, and what actually occurs.
#( honestly this isn't even half the platinum dialogue )#rp meme#sentence starters#danny phantom rp meme#ʏᴏᴜʀ ɢʀᴀᴄɪᴏᴜs ɪɴᴠɪᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴍᴀᴋᴇs ᴍᴇ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴄʀʏ; ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ's ɴᴏ ᴡᴀʏ ɪ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴅᴇᴄʟɪɴᴇ [memes]
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3x22 Reaction / Commentary
Fair warning: Despite all feelings of nostalgia and melancholy with this being the last episode and all, this contains the usual amount of salt. Just, consider yourself warned XD
Impressive. Quick question though, why didn't Lilith pull this neat trick before going to Magnus and begging for an opening in the rift? We'll never know. Possibly because she's dumb.
Why would he give away his element of surprise with that stupid roar? Wtf man.
Istg if they kill Meliorn off just after I fell in love with him last episode imma riot so hard. Wtf.
1) Jeliorn Shipper: It's not actually clear who he's addressing XD 2) Am I the only one who feels like Meliorn's feelings for Izzy skyrocketed after they broke off their little mutually beneficial arrangement?? Because I sure do. Very convenient for the plot too.
This is both hilarious and infuriating XD
Boo Team Warlock. They can see that Meliorn is lying on the ground, obviously wounded, and all they do is stand around. Why do they all suck at first aid?? I mean, man down! What more do you need to know wtf.
Also what is that? Lorenzo actually being helpful? Wtf haha. Btw I made up my mind, he's lost bits of his character along the way. I don't like it. He's suddenly supposed to be a good lizard baby? Sure. *scoff*
I like that bit where Lorenzo and Magnus pool magic for a more effective attack but I'm doubtful they're perfectly synchronized since they never fought together. Or is this like a standard warlock fight maneuver? Are those a thing? I need answers.
Lilith shooting her fancy fire spit ball five meters to the left is both an overused cliché and ridiculous.
THIS is their plan of attack? They're all gonna die haha.
Script: Close up of female shoes with heels so everyone knows this is a woman.
RIDICULOUS
So did I understand that correctly? Lilith flew right into the line of literal fire? Whyyyy?
RIDICULOUS PLASTIC EYE IS RIDICULOUS
Wtf why isn't Lorenzo loudly objecting??
That circle reminds me of Guardians of the Galaxy in the worst way. Wow. I can't believe I just watched this. Wtf this was so bad *weeping* Btw note, considerate CGI flames only burn on torso and arms not on legs. Riiiight.
...................................................................what.
I mean, yay. All shadowhunters are jobless now. Guess all problems are solved. We just have an entire (slightly racist) race on our hands that's out of an occupation and also, militry. Those things don't mix well. Wtf. I cannot. comprehend. Wtf.
Also wtf. This was supposed to be the boss fight. And they finished it without a plan with one player literally before the opening?? UHHHH???
But, anyway. I guess I should be glad Alec didn't have to make good on his promise of living in Edom with Magnus, because as @intezaarlily so hilariously pointed out
The Alliance rune was temporary and wore off in like 5 hours, and Nephilim can’t survive in Edom because of their blood once the rune wears off, but Alec says he’ll spend the rest of his life with Magnus in Edom … I mean, I love the romantic sentiment! But that will be a very short life.
XD XD XD
Uhhhh yeah, the fact that Sizzy get a sex scene (ugh, could have done without that honestly) Clace get cute cuddling and Malec get................ lying five feet apart even though THEY ARE LEGIT A MARRIED COUPLE WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
Honestly, I mostly skirt the negativity that surrounds the issue of how Malec always get shitty kisses and intimacy etc. But this is ridiculous. RI-DIC-U-LOUS. At this point, who knows if they'll even kiss at their wedding? We'll be lucky if they hold hands. Honestly. WTF.
Yeah agree to disagree. I'm not even sorry for my extra salt. Wtf. Still hung up on Malec. At least Izzy's runes glitter prettily in the morning light.
“I mean like relationships. Everyone that I've been in has magnificently imploded like the Death Star.”
SIGH. This is clearly not true. He stayed good friends with his exes (Clary, Maia) so that's a lie. And Saia was working out really well until the series needed it to stop, so it's not like he's inept. So either he's exaggerating because he's hella unreflected or he says that to get some pity from Izzy, either way I hate it.
Uuhhhh Izzy, you were never interested in having a relationship. That's not the same as screwing up a relationship wtf.
...............Does the show want to tell me Magnus is left-handed or what. Wow.
I
hadn't
noticed.
I guess Canon wants to use this last opportunity to tell us that Magnus is ambidextrous *shrug*
Also why the hell did Lorenzo give them back the loft? Oh right, he's a Good Lizard Baby now. The heck.
Anyway I did a very thorough reaction to this sneak peek scene already for a private correspondence, so enjoy ahaha ;)
- Me being deprived of Malec Morning Cuddles (and LittleSpoon!Alec) is unfair and I'm Not Over It.
+ Magnus excitedly writing their wedding invitation though <3<3<3
- Cheek kiss wtf man where are my REAL morning smooches WTF
+ CHEEK KISS SO CUTE OMG MAGNUS'S FACCEEEEEEEE I CANNNNTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
+ MAGNUS'S FRAKKING FACE WHEN HE GIVES ALEC THE INVITATION SCRIPT THINGY, RAISED EYE BROW AND THAT LIP THING HE DOES, LIKE IN THE TRAINING SCENE HAHAHAHA I LOVE
+ MAGNUS'S FACE AS ALEC READS THE INVITATION OUTTTT
+ A L E C S FACE AT “TONIGHT” LIKE OMG HE LOOKS LIKE HE JUST HAD A LOBOTOMY HAHAHAHAHA I CANNOT
~ Okay I am conflicted about this. While I can buy both, Magnus wanting to move ahead and Alec wanting to plan (because I think it fits them both in terms of being in character) in this particular matter I kinda headcanon the reverse: Alec not able to wait another minute to Lock Magnus Down and Magnus wanting everything to be absolutely perfect and losing himself in planning.
That being said, Magus being like “Gotta get married while we still can and there's not a disaster on the horizon” is.... idk, isn't that kind of sad? He's all about cherishing things in life so you can remember them. And stumbling through his MARRIAGE, with must mean a real real lot to him, being his first in all his 400/800 years, that's... not really uplifting? He deserves better than that.
+ Magnus's clap tho at “location” XD XD XD
+ ALEC'S FACE AT TAJ MAHAL HAHAHA HIS FROWNY MOUTH
~ Quick question, how the hell does Magnus want to hold a whole ass marriage ceremony at a public mundane place?? With glamor? Without? Sounds like an unrealistic mess either way
+ “THE INSTITUTE” I CAN'T MAGNUS AND ALEC KILL IT BOTH WITH THIS WTF HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I CANT
- Alec's reasoning. Honestly, I don't like it that much. Don't get me wrong, Alec being aware of the political dimension and liking it is 100% ic. But. This is their wedding. Their. Wedding. They do everything else for others, for their people and for the mundanes and the frikking world as a whole (3x20 being a prime example, basically screwing their personal happines to hell and back (pun intended) to close the rift saved the world because those wraiths wouldn't have stopped after Alicante let's be real). And their wedding, this should be just for them. How they like it, how they envision and how they've always dreamed about it. It shouldn't be held so others can benefit from it.
I want the wedding to be at the Instutite. In my mind no other venue even comes into question. But I would have loved if the motivation was differently nuanced. If Alec would have said that he's imagined it there, because yeah, Magnus's loft is his home and his heart, but the Institute must hold sentimental value for him, too. He grew up there. It's basically all he's known his whole life up to like three months ago. It's the embodiment of him being a shadowhunter and he loves being a shadowhunter, it's his identity. And Alec is a traditional guy. He wants his classical shadowhunter wedding and those are held at an Institute. He must have envisioned this after he started dating Magnus: exchanging vows in a ceremony held by a silent brother and with their wedding jewelry, in the chapel of the Institute, simply because this is the only marriage proceedure he's ever known.
Pissing off the clave, or rather, having the clave begrudingly accept him with his true self presented to the world should be a welcome byproduct, but not the main motivation.
From Magnus I would buy this line of reasoning sooner than from Alec because Magnus has hated the clave and its injustice since forever, has suffered far harsher under them than Alec, so he has a lot more personal interest to stick it to the clave than Alec, who, sorry, literally discovered their falseness three months ago. But then again, I don't think thoughts like that would be on the forefront of Magnus's mind and so it makes sense Alec would be the one to bring up this aspect. I just don't like how it was nuanced.
In any case, rewatching that scene I'm amazed at the amount of time Alec flounders before catching Magnus's attention, it's hilarious to watch XD
+ MAGNUS'S CONSIDERING POUT THOUGH WTF MAN WHO ALLOWED THIS
Another missing scene waiting to be written, of Magnus wearing a tux around Alec (and Alec drooling over him lol).
“It's just... all these hundreds of years... I can't believe you've never been married.”
Yeah, dito. How about you expand a little more on your personal stance on marriage, Magnus?? It's for science.
NOT ANYMORE APPARENTLY WTF CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS SOME MORE PLEASE
1) Wow this was quick 2) Uh-huh, guess that's why they mentioned them before this episode, oh, never.
1) Then ralf would quit watching this show and who would make dumb comics then? 2) Lol I guess her poor ex warlock boy toy got dumped
HAHAHAHA THE WAY HE DELIVERS THAT LINE I CAN'T XD XD XD
TMI bro
Good. At least he's not completely delusional then.
Gal you said “focus” like once, that's not a lesson wtf.
Yeah, creepy creepy feelings.
But this is actually interesting since she can't lie, and she says in no uncertain terms that she wants to split her power with him, or at least the rule over earth. Buf if she's so afraid of him she even wants to rule beside him and relinquish part of her might, then I don't get why she didn't just kill him off when he was in his cocoon. Why risk making an enemy of him? Makes no sense. (Except that this would have been anticlimactic lol.) Also my question of what happened to Lucifer still stands.
Uhhhh apparently they just slept together, turning into a child is majorly creepy wtf dude. Also, where does her changed wardrobe come from? Absorbing clothes during a transformation is a skill werewolves would pay real money for, I can tell you. Market niche. Patent while you still can.
..................really? *sigh*
#vulnerability #abandonment issues #give jace wayland (or whatever you want to call him) a hug dammit
Finally, happy parabatai. What a sight for sore eyes.
Biting back more Sizzy salt, wow I'm impressed at myself.
HOW ABOUT YOU BOTH FRAKKING SAY THAT ABOUT MAGNUS WTF
(Btw the German Dubbing: “I was just thinking of asking you that!” lol as if the thought had crossed Izzy's mind in that exact second, making that whole thing even more ridiculous.)
Anyway.
“You know, I always thought I never needed a parabatai, that I was at my best when I was on my own.”
No that was because you disliked the weird codependency it produces. And it's fine if you change your mind on that and decide that the benefits outweight that, but please don't do it offscreen during an action screen but like, throughout a whole season? Consider sharing a thought or two about that fundamental change in your world view with the audience? Otherwise people (me) can just laugh their ass of at how ridiculous and ooc this is. Wtf. WtF. Then again she literally changed her stance on relationships in like a week and her stance on Simon in half a day, so I guess it's kind of consistent?? *snort*
There's a joke about missing hair in here somewhere. These poor, poor men. They were ROBBED. (And so were we XD)
Since when can Clary order around the Head of Security?? (Also look at her manic face in this shot ahahaha. Was that deliberate on my part?? You can't prove a thing!!)
Also Luke missing Alec's wedding again is history repeating itself.
IMMORTALITY RUNE ON THE RUN!! EVERYBODY DROP WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND CATCH IT!!!
Clary, gal, if you keep slinking after the rune like that you'll never catch it. Srsly. And you wonder why you lose track of it all the time? Move your butt, man!!!
WOW GREATEST DISAPPOINTMENT EVER. Can I skip this scene? Please?
Wow that was less painful than expected
Oh damn I knew this was too easy.
Btw apparently they have styling opportunities wherever Jocelyn's soul went after her death, because the clothes she wore when she went west
and the ones she's wearing now are similar, but decidedly not the same.
“Btw we'll talk about that creepy ass behavior later, and no supper for you tonight young lady!!”
Uh-huh, and what, pray tell, is Jocelyn? A zombie?? Just wondering.
These so-called “angels” are racists and you can quote me on that.
HAHAHA YEAH EXACTLY, SO RIDICULOUS AMIRIGHT
I mean. “Never draw another new rune or we'll take away your ability to create runes” basically translates to me “You have one last shot.” Right?
(Premonition!Ralf: ..........................you know nothing, Past Ralf.)
HAHAHAH SO FRAKKIN EXTRA I LOVE HIM
I think the white one is the prettiest <3<3<3 And now I wanna eat cake. Dammit.
LISTEN I KNOW HE SAYS THAT TO BE SASSY BUT!!!!! WHAT WAS MAGNUS GONNA EAT FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY???? ROASTED SHAX DEMON DRUMSTICKS??????? I NEED ANSWERS!!!!!!!!!!!
This “beauty” clearly is from his mansion, so he obviously only says this to gloat. What a tool. Or is this like, a different size? And he has the same three pictures of himself plastered over all his homes, but in different sizes??
LOL this feels like splitting household goods with an ex. And they didn't even date (uagh the mental image *shudder*)
Mostly for each other, but continue.
Also, is this Lorenzo's formal request to be adopted into that weird ass Protagonist!Family? Because loooool the position of sassy shady uncle is still vacant. I'm sure Peter Hale will teach him some tricks.
Don't get me wrong, I like the scene itself but...... what happend to the evil lizard baby? It seems that just like Maryse he got a character makeover between one scene and the next. This change of heart comes out of frakkin nowhere. He goes from “good riddance magnus i hate your guts” to “pls love me” in literally half a day. And I don't like that. Wtf.
Also, another thing: Why do they always imply warlocks are completely unable to find a lasting relationship / family / even some level of happiness that isn't “sitting in my plush villa and drinking overpriced alcohol”? As if all warlocks are inapt. Tf.
I mean, he's been showing that through absence, but I guess that's more because of the same reasons that persistently keep Catarina from showing her face than him actually not caring about his kids, there's no real grounds for this level of desinterest in Show!Robert's character. But anyway, I like the sentiment, that conflicts between the parents don't necessarily inevitably destroy the relationships between one parent and the children. And Maryse was always good at compartmentalizing things, so this is very fitting.
Wow I had really hoped I wouldn't have to see this particular face again. Guess we can't always get what we want *sigh* also what's the shit with those glasses? *snort*
Also, I mean, I'm by no means an expert, but even I know that you don't actually store a bow with the string attached? You unclip it so it doesn't wear out? But whatever, what do I know about angelic weaponry, right.
Wtf he was cleared for missions seasons ago. Did they forget? Apparently? Ugh but I don't care so, moving on.
“You'll be save on this balcony.”
*SIGH* Honestly I'm wondering what they even learn at their dumb Shadowhunter Academy. Since common sense, first aid, and make sure your frikkin enemy is dead by slitting their throat and !never! turn your back on them are obviously not on the curriculum. SMH.
Ngl though, good riddance on the Max front XD
Guess I cheered too early. You had one job, Jonathan. One. Job.
HAHAHAHA HONESTLY HAHAHA THE GUY NEXT TO HER FALLS AND SHE DOESN'T EVEN TWITCH, JUST KEEPS RECORDING LOOOL
Btw all the people running away, they're screaming their heads off but they're not really like, running? They're barely even jogging lol it's so funny XD
Let me just....
Yes. This.
Also that whole “I've never been to Toronto” totally clashes with Izzy asking Clary literally three minutes earlier if she can open her a portal to Los Angeles. I mean, they don't even try and pretend that their portal travel is consistent anymore. Sigh.
I mean. He. Hehehe.
Amazing that Magnus has been in this exact street in his exact spot. Luck-y.
Same, Jonathan. Same.
Wow she's smart trying the spite approach to get Jonathan to want to prove her wrong.
.....or not. Wtf Clary. You had him. Even after all this, you could have salvaged this. But there's just No Happy Ending for Jonathan. It's so unfair. Rest in peace, my poor misunderstood murderous incest baby.
Also
Wing Rune? Death via Crushing Wing Hug??
Btw if the runes are gifts from the angels and they don't approve of her use then why do they keep sending them to her?? Just, don't? Problem solved? No need for a Jocelyn!Scolding?
Edit: As a smart person pointed out to me Clary's ability to create runes isn't a direct gift from the angels that they gave her specifically, it's a result of Valentine's neat experiments. But then I wonder a) why the angels even allowed those blasphemous experiments in the first place (since apparently they can long-distance-derune people no problem, then I guess they could have stopped Valentine too?) and b) if they have the power to long-distance-derune people and they have the power to form some sort of resistance against Clary inventing runes..... how does that add up? Why the heck can't they forge a resistance strong enough against Clary's attempts to create a specific rune? It makes no sense. You can't be ridiculously powerful in one rune-aspect and ridiculously weak in one other rune-aspect. Either the angel has power over the runes (since they were a gift from him) or he doesn't. But this is rubbish. Or, y'know, plot convenience. Ugh.
Buhuu, they didn't use the stupid ass angelic rune ever so whatever. Until Raziel doesn't come down and exchanges her spinal marrow I'm writing this off as Consequenceless Dramatics.
Malec Wedding Ceremony. Phew. Originally I thought I'd keep this short but I changed my mind. Since this is my last reaction post I might as well go all out (with the salt, among other things), so. Here we go.
Music choice and the general everything-is-muffled-under-the-song was absolutely wonderful. I really love that song and it's very Malec-y.
UGH
AWWW WOULD YOU LOOK WHO DEIGNED TO SHOW UP
The suit suits him (ahahahaha I'm so sorry) but I'm kinda bummed he's not wearing Shadowhunter Gold?! I mean?!
Whoever that is, she has kickass hair and I love it, and I kept looking for her in the background the whole time. To some success I might add.
Yeah please show me Lorenzo's face instead of, idk, Jace's wtf haha. Also who invited Meliorn.
Is it even a real wedding ceremony when the groom is already wearing his ring??
U G H
Cat should have been the one to give Magnus away. Maryse could have given Alec away if she must (honestly, it should have been Jace, not Robert or Maryse, but whatever). But Maryse giving Magnus away? The Fuck? She HATED him two months ago. She literally gave up on him after he SAVED ALL THEIR ASSES AND WAS STUCK IN EDOM after like half a day. Also I kind hate her ridiculous redemption. But sure, have Cat, his best friend for centuries, stand on the sidelines and only show her face for a second. Frikkin Madzie had more screen time than Cat wtf. I hate that Shadowhunters infiltrate every aspect of Magnus's life and force his Downworlder friends out of it. That's the real oppression wtf. I'm so angry at this. The frikkin audacity.
Awww, the other half second of Cat's screen time. Let me fawn over it. I love her dress, especially the arms, the necklace is a bit much but she rocks it anyway, I love her hairdo and her smile is the sweetest.
*cough*
Ngl I laughed my ass off at this. Because, y'know, communication. Is totally their thing, isn't it. They're so good at it. This is sarcastic in case you can't tell.
I really really loved this line though.
HAHAHA I LOST IT. I mean, I found their interlaced speaking ridiculous already, but this?? PFFFF HAHAHA. No. Just, no. But I guess the one good thing I can take away from this is that since they both say their “always” together it is in fact the same “always” so thanks for more Immortal Alec Foreshadowing.
Whoa those are a lot of candles. I approve. Lexa does, too.
Magnus throwing confetti is too cute for this world.
And then they just.... leave? Am I the only one finding that weird???? This was so short? Where are they going?? lol????
Okay, apparently Clary's runes are all gonna disappear. Uh. Okay. I don't see where this makes sense, but anyway. Her acting in these last moments was absolutely awesome.
I really love that Magnus and Raphael got the scene together that they deserved. I just enjoy that Downworlder Dad Magnus and Grumpy Son Raphael aren't treated as a Plot Devices and only interact when some Stupid Plotline requires it, but outside of it too. It's so refreshing.
Ralf: “Oh God please spare me.”
........not my lucky day apparently.
Hahahaha love ya.
DAMN RIGHT
Jace and Maryse dancing in the background tho. Cute.
BTW wtf, I didn't undestand Annoying!Ghost!Jocelyn in the way that Clary was gonna die. Just, she wouldn't have her fancy rune powers anymore. And okay, apparently she won't have any rune powers but... uh, death? That's a whole different dimension we're talking here. And why tf can't anyone be precise on this show for once wtf!
1) Helen is valid and for probably the first time in her life said something smart. 2) They started dating 3 days ago, wtf gals, I mean I heard of the u-haul cliché but honestly wtf. lol.
Ralf: *hits pause* NO. Kay, in the same room as Ralf, fully aware that the latter is watching the last half of 3x22 with the Malec Wedding (with headphones, I'm considerate and don't want to spoiler my sister): What is it? Are they adopting a child? Ralf: No, WORSE. Kay: Are they pregnant?? Ralf: NOOOOOOO Kay: Tell me. Ralf: ........no. I want to see the look on your face when you see this.
You had one job dude. One job. And you failed.
Ralf: I'm going to be sick.
Honestly. WTF. Sorry, but Lorenzo is probably the un-gayest character on this show. Wtf. No. I refuse. I also refuse to believe that anyone looks at Lorenzo's self-important pompous ass and thinks hnnnngh relationship material. Or worse, one-night stand material. No! No! Punching bag material! Sleek antagonist material! That's all he is dammit!!
I REALLY AM GOING TO BE SICK WTF. UGH NO. NOOO WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE (aka screen writers) WHO THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA. And also, can I give the biggest anti-compliment to the Max actor for the absolutely shitty delivery of this line? It's as if he's as dead inside as I am, because he says this as if he honestly couldn't give a single shit about Magnus and just ??????????????? wtf
Yeah, that one time she glanced at him in the Ops Center really gave it away. What the actual ffkk. Alec was preoccupied with other things then, wtf, he wouldn't even notice that on a good day. Sorry, show, but less is more sometimes. Not everyone needs a frikkin significant other and this is just ridiculous. What's next, Max and Madzie? UGH.
Lol this would be less ridic if apart from 1x05 this wasn't their first interaction.
NO NO NO NO!!!!!! I hate that I can't stop scanning the background for them! It's like the countdown on a bomb, you can't look away even though you know you should just turn and run. WTF. NO.
bitch what's alec been doing his whole life huh huh huh????
“Every single cell in my body loves you. And when those cells die and new ones are born those cells love you even more. So Jace, no matter what happens, my love for you will never die.”
Ridiculous Shadowhunter Biology Knowledge striking but I'll let it slide because that was really sweet.
Also ahahaha shouldn't that rune be gone already???
Shadowhunter #1 in the Background: *biting back a sob* I'm so crushed I wasn't invited to Malec's wedding and saddled with active duty instead. Shadowhunter #2 in the Background: *wiping away tears* Yeah, me too.... What did we ever do to deserve this </////////3
Again, how did she understand that from the weird AF scolding??? TF.
Uh, yeah, blatant contradiction, whatever. Btw since I know how that goes in the books (for Simon) I'm really wondering if they're gonna pull the same thing for Clary now. (Ugh.)
Also, following both a hint and innate curiosity I paused on the letter that Clary supposedly actually wrote AND WTF HAHAHAHA. I CAN'T.
Dear Jace, forgive me for leaving all of a sudden. I came to the realization that it's time for me to move on. I don't know what is motivating me to take this action but I must act on my feelings. From the first day we met we had a connection from ??? my introduction to the Shadow Hunters World. Alec, Simon, Izzy, the institute and all of the Shadow Hunters opened up skills and experiences that I could never imagine I had. You and I spent many years together and have experienced many adventures together which I will never forget. Many times over they have put our lives at risk but we have always managed to survive in the end. You have saved my life on many occasions (screen end, but I guess sth like “you have looked”) after me and taken care of me (same, “which I'll never”) forget. Your love for me I will always (“treasure”?) May our Shadows meet again, Love Clary
WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL HAHAHAHAHA WTF
........................I paused here and I was this tempted to just, stop watching. Honestly, Shadowhunters, what have you done to me. Making me honestly consider to ditch the last ten minutes of a show that I dearly, dearly love. Wtf. I just, I can't. Wow.
Where's the beard, Luke. It's been “a year” so uh you've had time to grow it back.
1) Magnus “left handed” Bane again writing with his right hand. Mysterious. 2) Honestly I kinda spaced out on this scene after this shot because those blue smears? I was so SURE those would be fingerpaint clumsily smeared on Magnus by Malec's Baby of Horrors. I was so focused on there being any hints of them having adopted a baby already, dreaded anguish kinda making it impossible to taking in anything else. The only thing I really noticed is that they moved with their whole ass loft and I love that.
Honestly, this and the “High Warlock of Alicante” are the only two acceptable things about this whole terrible fever haze dream I have entered. Not that “High Warlock of Alicante” makes any sense. It just has a nice ring to it, that's all. I really can't put into words how ridiculous and, yeah, almost offensive I find it that they actually pretend that blatant racism can be wiped out of the minds of people in the matter of a single year. Sure. The whole Clave changed their racist beliefs and Alec skipped from being a mere Head of an Insitute over being a Clave Envoy to being an Inquisitor (which doesn't even make sense, since an Inquisitor seems to be going from Institute to Insitute and acting as a judge for Shadowhunters on trial, not negotiating how the Clave treats Downworlders). And which warlocks exactly does Magnus represent in Alicante? It makes no sense for the Clave to allow Downworlders to just, randomly live there? And that's got nothing to do with discrimination, that's just logic if you run a military organization: You don't allow civilians to mingle. They don't belong in the Ops Center of an organization they have no part in? I'm all for Downworlders being allowed to participate in legislative etc. but living in Alicante (as more than the significant other of a Shadowhunter) makes no sense. And sorry, I don't believe that in one year there formed SO MANY Shadowhunter/Warlock relationships that SO MANY warlocks moved to Alicante that they need a HIGH WARLOCK for representation. There's SO MUCH wrong with all of this that I have no choice but to move on.
Hmmmm it only took Maia one (1) year to realize that carefully painting over blood splatters with yellow (and not even removing pictures while doing so) isn't in fact enough to cover them up and she needs to get a completely new paintjob, prefereably in a dark color.
Okay that made me laugh at least.
*rolls eyes so hard* And again with the pointless coupling up of characters. Are singles even a thing in this world? Apparently not. *SIGH*
“The Drevak Demons in Long Island?” “The hunt continues.” “Don't stop until they're gone. Is that clear?”
As much as I love Izzy, I'm not sure this dialogue really assures me of her competence as Head? I mean? “The demons are not dead yet? Kill them until they are, understood? And don’t argue with me on that, I’m super serious!!” It's not as if this isn't literally all that Shadowhunters do all day. I just don't see Izzy working a desk job. She's meant to be out in the field, slaying demons and cracking jokes and her whip while doing that. Sorry, but that's just how it is.
I could even tolerate that Sizzy scene because I was sooooo relieved Underhill didn't mention having a significant other or anything of the sort. Dodged a frakkin bullet there.
Edit: Nope, no, I can't. It's been two weeks and I have regained enough of my strength to be salty about Sizzy. But let me keep it to a minimum because time. 1) Simon not wanting to kiss Izzy in the hall is ridiculous, as if it hasn't been common knowledge since before that whole Downworlder Deputy Stuff started that they are a thing. So obviously this was just to pepper in the fact that he is in fact one of the Downworlder Deputies, whatever that should mean.
2) Nice to know that Simon continues to exploit his girlfriend's authority. Some things never change I guess, first with Saia and now with Sizzy. 3) I just find it ridiculous that while Simon wasn't able to keep a relationship running for more than two weeks before, suddenly this one works out a whole year without a hitch. Oh right, this was The Endgame Pairing, the other's weren't. *sigh*
<3<3<3<3<3 The Jimon Friendship we deserve!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS THE CONTENT I WANT TO SEE, NOT WHATEVER THAT OTHER NIGHTMARISH STUFF WAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Uh-huh, and what was Simon doing, exactly? Oh right.
Anyway.
I mean, as much as I love this dynamic and the fact that Jace managed to form a friendship with Simon who he kinda hated / pitied before, and as much as I love this scene itself..... the implications for Jalec are terrible. Jace is obviously not coping. At All. He's one wrong word from having tears running from his eyes in any given situation. And Alec just, effs off to Alicante to sip martinis with Magnus? Thank you for nothing, Alec. Wtf. I'd like some details on when exactly he decided to leave his parabatai alone in New York with all his heartbreak.
A toned down version of events would have been better. Alec still being Head of the Insitute, fighting tooth and nail against the Clave to implement Downworlder Involvement on more levels. Magnus being the High Warlock of Brookyln (because obviously Lorenzo got sacked for misconduct, come on). Simon and Jace growing closer over the shared devastating loss of Clary. Izzy slaying demons like a Queen. Underhill being single.
We could have had it all.
“You know, I pray every day, every day to the angels that they will see that our love is stronger than their spite.”
Lol Jace I'm not sure that's the way to phrase a prayer you want heard.
Okay, I'm gonna need several explanations here, ranked by importance:
1) WHY THAT HAIRCUT WTF
2) How exactly did Clary go from “complete memory loss, homeless, no money, no family, no friends, no nothing, literally just the clothes on her back” to “well-adjusted human being attending school, being super successful with her art, having an appartment and an astounding lack of depression” in a year?
????? ???????? ???????????????
???????
3) I really don't know a lot about either fashion or art, but both differ greatly from what we've seen from Clary so far. Neither her clothes match what she used to wear, nor her art style. She never drew abstract things. It was always portraits of people, or very detailed and realistic looking buildings / demons / sigils. So this doesn't really make sense either. I don't think they intended this to be the opening of a profound philosophical discussion on how much of your personality is laid down in your DNA and how much is just environment and experiences shaping you, so I really REALLY wonder why the f they did that, instead of having Clary draw Shadow World related stuff like before, when Magnus had her memories locked away.
Love the throwback. Also love Jace's reaction of running away, it's so relatable in this situation of utter emotional overload.
Okay, the end. I'm trying my best to end this on a slightly positive note okay, because otherwise I'll just make myself sad. First off, I HATE open endings with a passion, so this left me enraged. Second off, I can't believe the Clace Shippers were left with this as the last scene of their OTP. I kind of get it from a meta stance, they wanted there to be a point of contact for a possible pick-up, but still. They didn't even kiss. They didn't even have clarity what exactly Clary remembers. I hate it! Third off, how ridiculous is it that after a year Clary randomly remembers? Uhh? Why does the angel's punishment suddenly not work anymore? “Because love conquers all” etc. Uh-huh. Then why did it take a frakkin year? Huh, Jace?! If this had been the first time Clary and Jace see each other again, fine, I would have bought it. But “random” is such an unsatisfying explanation. Just, don't. So if you'll excuse me, I'll happily pretend none of this happened. Or it happened one month later, not a year wtf. Or I'll just follow through on my rewrite and rectify all the things I didn't like about these last two episodes.
And now that all the rage is out of the way, the good things. I loved both of Clary and Jace's acting in this scene (which lolllll I specifically point out because mostly in their couple scenes one of them fails XD). The careful way Clary touches Jace's rune and the way he almost flinches back, too raw for it, but also his vulnerable helpless smile, and how Clary smiles back. I also really liked the song. And the final shot, of the camera pulling away and into the nightsky, that was nice. It felt like an ending, so at least that gave me some closure.
I love this show. Even with all its infuriating plot holes and ooc-ness. It means a lot to me. It has inspired me to write fic like no other fandom. I plan to stick around for a long time to come, with both fics and tumblr posts. I'll rewatch episodes, obsess over details and grumble about shit I disliked because that's just what I do. It's how I show my appreciation. I guess what I'm trying to say is
Thank you
#shadowhunters#3x22#alec lightwood#magnus bane#clary fray#jace wayland#isabelle lightwood#jonathan morgenstern#simon lewis#lorenzo rey#meliorn#maryse lightwood#luke garroway#maia roberts#robert lightwood#max lightwood#raphael santiago#catarina loss#madzie#underhill#jocelyn fairchild#the seelie queen#lilith#malec#clace#reaction
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i am for you (9/?)
Malec texting!fluff and intertwining hedges. inter-hedging? intra-hedging? Both? Something like that. (ao3 / series tag)
WEDNESDAY
*** *** ***
[jace]: coffee?
[alec]: uh. I'm. On the wrong busline, unless you want to meet somewhere other than the usual? Or after my morning class instead of before
[jace]: why are you? [jace]: oh [jace]: you didn't sleep at your place did you
[alec]: no.
[jace]: I love you, and he seems nice enough, and you're one of the smartest guys I know, but [jace]: this is really confusing and not at all like you [jace]: are you? IS HE? I don't even know what I want to ask
[alec]: I know it's crazy, but... [alec]: Give him a chance
[jace]: you know I will. He makes you smile. I'm just.
[alec]: worried. I know. I get it.
[jace]: well. I guess as long as you still recognize the crazy as you're doing it, it's not too bad, right?
[alec]: that does actually track
[jace]: you don't have to sound so surprised
[alec]: yes I do, part of the job
[jace]: the "being an asshole" job?
[alec]: I learned from the best
[jace]: 👉👌
[alec]: rude
[jace]: I learned from the best, too
[alec]: lunch instead of coffee?
[jace]: you know it
*** *** ***
[magnus]: I have to go to a faculty meeting. I may die of boredom. Save me!
[alec]: and how am I supposed to do that? I can't go to your faculty meeting [alec]: and wouldn't even if I could, sorry
[magnus]: you're not at all sorry
[alec]: no, not really [alec]: I mean, being with you? Almost worth it. [alec]: but faculty meetings sound terrible [alec]: my professors always look either homicidal or half-dead with exhaustion after them
[magnus]: if I'm half-dead with exhaustion I will fall asleep on you tonight instead of any of the other things you want me to do to you
[alec]: you're terrible [alec]: maybe I want to do things to you instead
[magnus]: darling! [magnus]: tell me more, that will distract me wonderfully
[alec]: that might distract you too much [alec]: it will definitely distract me too much [alec]: and possibly get me kicked out of the union. I cannot be on the outs with the people who make me my coffee, I might die [alec]: and studying is more important. At least for another hour.
[magnus]: how distressingly sensible of you [magnus]: I can't believe I fell madly in love with someone SENSIBLE [magnus]: Cat is going to laugh at me for at least a decade
[alec]: I can't believe I fell madly in love with someone who was going to try and sext me during his meeting [alec]: Proper sexting deserves your complete focus
[magnus]: very true, that was terribly inconsiderate of me [magnus]: all right, I must go pretend to pay attention, but expect impertinent questions or inappropriate propositions as soon as I am free
[alec]: I look forward to it. Them. Both. Either. (You.)
*** *** ***
[alec]: or actually, I could ask *you* a potentially impertinent question [alec]: that you do not at all need to answer
[magnus]: ask away
[alec]: so uh. Ragnor may have mentioned that they refrained from murdering a previous romantic entanglement of yours, and they weren't going to make that mistake again [alec]: and it seemed closer to serious than hyperbole
[magnus]: oh
[alec]: I am in no way claiming you have to tell me all about your exes, or that I'm worried about them in relation to us or anything. But that sounds serious and I hope... I guess that talking to me might help you as much as talking to you helps me
[magnus]: well, you know I dated Dot, the exes aren't all terrible
[alec]: that sentence kind of makes it sound like she's the exception that proves the rule [alec]: plus it didn't sound like either of you took it as much more than friends who are good dance partners and fooled around for awhile
[magnus]: *fooled around* oh dear I'm moving in with an 80yo grandpa
[alec]: apparently I talked like an 80yo grandpa when I was actually 8, Mom will be happy to tell you all about it
[magnus]: at 8 that's adorable. At 26 it's hilarious in entirely different ways
[alec]: glad I can amuse
[magnus]: you really can! [magnus]: and you're not wrong, we were always friends, more than anything else, and Dot is not QUITE the only exception but... I have previously always fallen for people who wanted different things than I did when we were together, they wanted a future when I wanted a present, I wanted to settle down a little when they wanted to go adventuring, that sort of thing [magnus]: it hurts, every time, you get bumped and bruised and scarred, but no one's *trying* to hurt anyone else, you just don't... fit
[alec]: oh, I should have asked this when we got back home, I really want to give you a hug
[magnus]: the fact that you called the apartment home is almost as good as a hug
[alec]: you're my home
[magnus]: however did I get so lucky as to meet you
[alec]: Ragnor hates Aldertree and you're too impatient to work technology properly?
[magnus]: I take it all back, you're awful
[alec]: you love me anyway
[magnus]: I do
[magnus]: her name was Camille
[alec]: the one Ragnor wishes he'd murdered?
[magnus]: yeah [magnus]: she's why I moved back to Alicante from NYC actually
[magnus]: Camille's an actress, gorgeous, smart, draws the eye when she enters a room. And when it went wrong it went really wrong, but when it started? We both fell hard, played hard, pushed each other into each new opportunity, each new audition, each new call-back. [magnus]: before her I'd barely been hanging on, couldn't seem to *feel* any of what I was doing, couldn't make myself finish the degree I'd been working part-time on for years at that point. [magnus]: if you've got no emotions to put into your work, no one wants to see it, no one wants to hire you.
[alec]: which just makes you feel worse and makes it that much harder the next day
[magnus]: exactly. But Camille believed in me, in us, in putting on a show, each day bigger and brighter than the day before [magnus]: suddenly I was working regularly, usually a couple levels of *Off* Broadway, but sometimes I swung closer, sometimes I got TV episode work, or small movie parts. It was good, I was doing what I'd always wanted, I finished my MFA, I could still eat and pay my share of rent and occasionally even buy new shoes [magnus]: which is a big deal when you're frequently working as a dancer or choreographer
[alec]: shoes are important, I know
[magnus]: you might not make that joke once you see inside my closet
[alec]: I wasn't joking
[magnus]: 😘
[alec]: 💘
[magnus]: you're ridiculous
[alec]: just for you
[magnus]: I thought Camille and I were happy, you know? [magnus]: but she wasn't. I don't know, it wasn't getting better fast enough for her, maybe [magnus]: I was doing more workshops here and there, standing on both sides of the curtain, and she couldn't see why I couldn't help her get her foot in a few more doors. Never mind that I never worked in casting. [magnus]: she loved me, I do believe that, but she never trusted me, not really, not to be there for her. Never trusted anyone. Always put herself first because no one else ever had, ever would. [magnus]: so when she caught a producer's eye, she let him catch her [magnus]: and truly didn't understand why it broke my heart when I found them in bed together
[alec]: oh hell, I'm so sorry
[magnus]: oh, that wasn't the worst part, not by a long shot [magnus]: it was another year of fights and manipulation and making up, of her pushing me towards jobs that would help *her* rather than jobs that suited me, of making me feel like I'd let her down, that I was why she'd cheated [magnus]: that's the part that almost broke me, the part that sent me back to Alicante when it finally got to be too much, when I couldn't stand any of the jobs I might be able to get, couldn't stand the person I was while I was living with her, working with her. The way she made me believe that everything that was wrong with our relationship, everything I felt bad about, that every bit of it was my fault and I should be grateful to her for putting up with me. That the only reason I'd had any success at all was because of her, that I *owed* her, and she could take it away again if I didn't pay her back the way she wanted
[alec]: I'm gonna help Ragnor hide the body [alec]: no, wait, need his truck to finish moving in first [alec]: if the opportunity arises though
[magnus]: I don't think murder's the answer, though I'm touched by the sentiment
[alec]: I love you so much Magnus, you've such a beautiful soul, I can't. How could anyone do that to someone? Much less someone they thought they loved. I'm so sorry. I wish... I don't know, I wish I could take all that pain for you, just wipe it away
[magnus]: well, if we hadn't both gotten run out of New York by heartbreak, we might never have met [magnus]: that's a damn fine silver lining
[alec]: wait now, you're telling me the sad story, why are you comforting me? Shouldn't that be the other way around?
[magnus]: have we ever done things normally?
[alec]: I don't have a clue what "normal" might look like, but that silver lining does make a hell of a difference, you're right. Tonight we're moving in together [alec]: because we're both choosing this [alec]: choosing us
[magnus]: took us awhile, but we're both finally making good decisions?
[alec]: I think so [alec]: not sure anyone else would agree, even if Ragnor seems cautiously supportive
[magnus]: they'll come around. We've got time.
[alec]: All the time in the world
*** *** ***
[izzy]: question
[alec]: no
[izzy]: I know you don't mean that [izzy]: especially since I want Magnus' number [izzy]: I'd like to get to know the guy who swept you off your feet [izzy]: and seems to have fallen head over heels right back, just like someone said! Now who could that have been? Someone so very smart and kind, who do we possible know like that...
[alec]: if I give you his number will you stop?
[izzy]: of course not
[alec]: yeah, that's what I thought
[izzy]: .... [izzy]: really. REALLY? Here I was trying to be nice, I was going to take your boyfriend out for lunch, maybe do some shopping, we'd have a good time. [izzy]: He's clearly got excellent taste.
[alec]: was that a compliment?
[izzy]: He had really nice shoes you know
[alec]: shoes are important, got it [alec]: why do people think I don't know that?
[izzy]: because you have like three pairs and they're all black? Sneakers, dress shoes, combat boots.
[alec]: but they're high quality sneakers and dress shoes and combat boots.
[izzy]: they are actually [izzy]: ... [izzy]: sorry? [izzy]: ... [izzy]: are you really not going to give me his number?
[alec]: nope
[izzy]: ALEXANDER GIDEON
[alec]: ISABELLE SOPHIA [alec]: I don't want you to interrupt his class, I'll leave him a message with your number, all right?
[izzy]: oh. I guess. You're still a brat.
[alec]: I learned from the best
[izzy]: 🙄
[alec]: ❤
*** *** ***
THURSDAY
*** *** ***
[magnus]: question!
[alec]: yes?
[magnus]: now that I have experienced the dancing with Alexander which is actually intense eye-contact and steadily decreasing personal space [magnus]: (I knew your hips were lethal) [magnus]: did you dance WITH John for this dare? [magnus]: because. Um. How did Lydia take that?
[alec]: I did, and he turned bright red and Lydia laughed for a week. Do you want me to see if she's still got the video she took on her phone?
[magnus]: hotdamnyesplease [magnus]: also have you ever been to Pandemonium? Because we could get away with that in public there [magnus]: This weekend even? Not Saturday, I'll probably still be recovering from your sister taking me shoe shopping [magnus]: But Friday maybe... [magnus]: Pandemonium has unusually roomy bathroom stalls. not that I know from experience. Or not that kind of experience. There is no good way to finish this sentence is there?
[alec]: you know I wouldn't care if you did, right? That kind of experience.
[magnus]: I do know that, yes [magnus]: but also I've never really been a fan of sweaty groping in a club bathroom [magnus]: but I've also never been quite so constantly desperate as I am for you
[alec]: same here
[magnus]: so with that in mind. it might be a thing we should know [magnus]: just in case
[alec]: ok for Pandemonium dancing you would probably have to get me a bit not sober
[magnus]: that wasn't a no
[alec]: no it wasn't, was it?
*** *** ***
[lydia]: Alec requested some of the video from my engagement party, but then gave me your phone number instead of your email [lydia]: I think they'd send better via something smarter than my phone's data plan
[magnus]: I think he assumed you'd send them to him? But certainly: [email protected]
[lydia]: pretty sure you'll enjoy having them more than he will
[magnus]: you may have a point there, thank you [magnus]: I think he'd like to have more of John to remember, though
[lydia]: Alec told you about him, did he?
[magnus]: a little. My condolences
[lydia]: It was four years ago
[magnus]: regardless.
[lydia]: hmm. Yes. [lydia]: thank you
[magnus]: you're welcome [magnus]: and if you have any more John & Alexander stories, I would of course be DELIGHTED to hear them. Or see them. Regardless of media.
[lydia]: that might be nice, I'll think about it
[magnus]: excellent! No hurry, but I do appreciate it.
[lydia]: Are you sure you're not in a hurry? I hear you're braving Lightwood family dinner already. [lydia]: good luck with that
[magnus]: I feel like starting our mutual acquaintance at a bar full of six metaphorical siblings was scarier? [magnus]: You're making me question my conclusions a little though
[lydia]: Luke used to be a cop and Maryse is... Maryse
[magnus]: That did not clarify anything. [magnus]: Alexander couldn't seem to explain why he was nervous about me meeting his mother either [magnus]: she was very nice when she confirmed the invitation
[lydia]: she is a lovely woman
[magnus]: but?
[lydia]: I don't know how to explain it either. She's an accountant, used to work for the prosecutor's office I think it was, and I'm pretty sure that if she'd been around she would have scared Capone even before he knew it was his finances that were going to take him down.
[magnus]: well that's terrifying
[lydia]: she's very competent. And she knows it. And she expects the same.
[magnus]: that doesn't sound too bad?
[lydia]: at *everything* from *everyone* [lydia]: all the time
[magnus]: huh. I think I'm starting to get it.
[lydia]: she loves her kids though [lydia]: so she'll like you, regardless of anything else, because you make Alec happy
[magnus]: I'm glad that you think I do
[lydia]: You do. I'm not blind [lydia]: I've not ever seen Alec like that before, and it's nice [lydia]: I kind of get the feeling no one's ever seen you like that either?
[magnus]: you are a very observant woman
[lydia]: well. Maryse likes me. I'm competent, too.
[magnus]: and now we're back to scaring me a little, aren't we?
[lydia]: no. Alec's important to a lot of people, but you're important to him, so now you're important to us too. But there is that question of *hurry* that isn't usually Alec's style? There may be some growing pains [lydia]: I'll get those videos to you later today. It really was very nice to meet you, I look forward to seeing you again
[magnus]: thank you, you too
*** *** ***
[magnus]: I had a slightly odd conversation with Lydia [magnus]: I'm not sure if she was trying to comfort me or scare me
[alec]: she has that effect on people a lot [alec]: I think it's only sort-of on purpose [alec]: but she wouldn't have even tried the comforting half if she didn't like you, so that's a good sign
[magnus]: and she promised me videos! And perhaps more John & Alexander shenanigan stories in the future
[alec]: there were no shenanigans. We were very boring.
[magnus]: impossible
[alec]: Well. I always felt very boring, but John was great, so I guess we'll see what Lydia has to say on the subject.
[magnus]: why in the world would you think you're boring?
[alec]: I work too hard and don't, as a general rule, like people [alec]: People don't usually notice me, if there's anyone else in the room
[magnus]: John did. I do.
[alec]: well, you're both special cases
[magnus]: so are you
[alec]: agree to disagree on that one?
[magnus]: nope. You're wrong. I'll convince you eventually.
[alec]: good luck, I guess?
[magnus]: I don't need luck, not for something so obvious.
[alec]: I don't know whether to roll my eyes or stick my tongue out at you
[magnus]: Well, the tongue could be considered an *invitation* and we both still have work to do
[alec]: 🙄🙄🙄
[magnus]: 😈😇😘
*** *** ***
[raphael]: thank you.
[alec]: Raphael? I mean. You're welcome? Maybe? Are you... is Magnus ok?
[raphael]: Of course. I'd lead with that, if he wasn't.
[alec]: yeah, right. That would make sense. Are we going to make sense sometime soon?
[raphael]: Maybe. If I feel like it.
[alec]: ha, I knew there was a sense of humor in there somewhere.
[raphael]: don't tell anyone
[alec]: never
[raphael]: have you been to Magnus' office yet?
[alec]: not today, but yes. Why?
[raphael]: did you see the display in the hallway?
[alec]: the programs and photos from the work the department's done? Yeah, I spent. An amount of time I am not going to figure out because it'd be embarrassing, probably, finding every single one of them that had Magnus' name or picture in it. [alec]: he's got an impressive resume
[raphael]: he put some more up today. [raphael]: from shows he'd done with Camille
[alec]: oh
[raphael]: exactly. He's been back for years and it took you what, a week? to manage what we didn't. So.
[alec]: He did it himself. But thank you for telling me.
[raphael]: you're welcome [raphael]: I assume I'll see you Sunday?
[alec]: Yeah. Yes, you will.
[raphael]: good
*** *** ***
[alec]: oh my god why are people so stupid [alec]: I have re-set the password for this guy every week [alec]: all semester [alec]: and yet he's the one who looks at me like it's my fault he's locked himself out. Again [alec]: why can't he follow directions? [alec]: just once? [alec]: I am reconsidering my position on sexting as distraction help me
[magnus]: oh no, you wouldn't help me, said you deserved my full attention. Are you saying I don't deserve your full attention?
[alec]: I WOULD NEVER [alec]: but the rest of the world pales in comparison to you [alec]: the simple fact of your existence makes it harder for me to deal with idiots [alec]: I know how much better people can be, because of how much better you are
[magnus]: jjjjjjjjjjj
[magnus]: ... jfc Alexander [magnus]: Raphael is doing that face where he's laughing at me in his head. Apparently you broke me for a bit there [magnus]: which is fine, I love you [magnus]: but I need to return the favor [magnus]: I'll meet you at the door for a celebratory bj
[alec]: fcuk [alec]: I knew you were magical, apparently my face when I glanced down at my phone did something and he left instead of complaining more [alec]: Also. Your door or the student center's door? Because the SC is really well lit [alec]: I don't think I care
[magnus]: OUR door! [magnus]: I'm going to take my time. [magnus]: 2am right? I remember those emails
[alec]: I love you so much [alec]: even before I discovered you could scare away idiots [alec]: even beyond blowjobs [alec]: I'll be there by 1:45 at the latest
*** *** ***
FRIDAY
*** *** ***
[cat]: you owe me new scrubs
[alec]: Cat? What. How. Why do all my conversations keep starting like this? [alec]: Nevermind. What did I do?
[cat]: I saw your picture in the Chief Surgeon's office and almost choked and did manage to spill my entire mug of coffee on myself
[alec]: that's. I'm sorry. I really am. That sounds awful, I might actually cry without my coffee [alec]: but also not actually my fault
[cat]: no, but if you come shopping with me for new ones I can tell you embarrassing Ragnor and Magnus stories
[alec]: are you free tomorrow?
[cat]: Lunch? [cat]: And you can maybe also tell me how you managed to get Dr. Penhallow to smile for a camera
[alec]: I can't, actually, my mother's the one who managed that (they were friends in college, if that answers your soon to be second question) [alec]: the most I've ever managed is that raised eyebrow thing where she's amused and not glaring but not *quite* smiling?
[cat]: Ah, yeah. I've seen that one.
[alec]: you must be really good at your job then, she doesn't let that one out for people who aren't practically family very often
[cat]: maybe she just thinks I'm funny?
[alec]: You're hilarious if you think I'd fall for that. Respect or you have not earned facial expressions at all. Except maybe the murder-one if you did something stupid
[cat]: gotten that one too, have you?
[alec]: maybe once or twice
[cat]: and you survived! Impressive
[alec]: well, she toned it down a little when I was eight
[cat]: what did you do to earn a murder-look at eight?
[alec]: My sister Izzy and Aline and I chased all the local cats one summer, trying to find the ones with wings like in these kids books I'd been reading them. The cats did not appreciate this behavior. Neither did anyone else, especially when we wandered back all bruised and scratched up. Plus Aline had managed to twist her wrist really badly, and I am the eldest so...
[cat]: murder-look
[alec]: murder-look
[cat]: don't worry, if you and Magnus ever get injured in an adventure I'll know to blame him instead of you
[alec]: thanks?
[cat]: I have a pretty good murder-look too, if I do say so myself, this is a pretty big concession I'm making
[alec]: I'm honored
[cat]: as you should be. Any ideas for lunch?
[alec]: I will literally eat anything. Surprise me?
[cat]: You are a little reckless, aren't you? I like that. All right then. I'll text you the address tomorrow.
[alec]: sounds like a plan
*** *** ***
[magnus]: impertinent question!
[alec]: my favorite kind (from my favorite person)
[magnus]: distracting! I forgot what I was going to ask [magnus]: and even so you are still my favorite too [magnus]: I perhaps have questionable taste
[alec]: but it works in my favor, so I'm not gonna argue with it
[magnus]: does this mean if I buy you something pretty that you'll wear it? Since you trust my taste and all...
[alec]: depends on the sort of pretty, I suppose. Public or private?
[magnus]: private
[alec]: then yes
[magnus]: you don't even know what I'm thinking of
[alec]: doesn't matter
[magnus]: goddamn [magnus]: uh. I gotta. Go. [magnus]: order something
[alec]: do I get a hint? [alec]: ... [alec]: apparently not. ok then.
*** *** ***
[magnus]: I remembered my original question!
[alec]: is it as impertinent as the tangent?
[magnus]: probably not, sorry [magnus]: how do you do that thing, you know, [magnus]: where you're looking at say, me for example, but can still catch Jace's napkin and not walk into dancers or bump into furniture in an apartment you've never been in before even when I am Very Distracting?
[alec]: oh. That's. Situational awareness. That's actually a serious answer, let me get my food (more coffee) first.
[magnus]: oh, you do not have to serious in between your classes, do ignore me
[alec]: never. And I like it when you know more about me. it's just easier to typewhen I'm sitting down [alec]: as witnessed by my inability to use the spacebar
[magnus]: well you do have nice big hands, Alexander
[alec]: and now I'm blushing in line I'm ignoring you until I'm settled
[alec]: all right. Ready for the long story?
[magnus]: always
[alec]: one of the things Mom insisted on when we got to Alicante was me staying in therapy [alec]: all of us getting therapy actually, including her, but especially me
[magnus]: I'm glad
[alec]: she was determined to do better. She helped us all do better. I think you'll like her.
[magnus]: I'm sure I will
[alec]: I ended up in a depression therapy group, but it wasn't just. We had all tried... We were all on suicide watch at some point. We were the really sad depression group?
[magnus]: not sad. You were all fighting to get that far, weren't you? The bravest group, I think.
[alec]: Even now, while I agree with that for every other person who was in that room, I have trouble saying it to myself.
[magnus]: I'll keep saying it until it gets a little easier
[alec]: you're going to make me cry in public if you keep being so perfect
[magnus]: well we can't have that, I promise to avoid doing the dishes for at least a week
[alec]: You avoid the dishes already
[magnus]: see! terribly flawed.
[alec]: perfect for me though
[magnus]: you make me breathless when you say things like that, I may faint [magnus]: but are you trying to avoid the subject? We can talk about it later. In person, if it's easier. Or not at all, if you don't want to.
[alec]: no, well. Maybe. Let's see how it goes?
[magnus]: all right
[alec]: one of the men in the group was a vet. Former combat arms. [alec]: he was hyper-vigilant, if you know what that is? Always tracking everything around him, every shift, every noise, until there was too much coming in, and he couldn't handle it anymore.
[magnus]: It's quite common in foster kids, too. For different reasons. Not that we knew it had a name. Pretty sure we would have gone with 'sensible precaution'
[alec]: I hate that. I hate the why and the how and the how many...
[magnus]: I know. I do too.
[alec]: I love you. And I'm so glad you made it.
[magnus]: same to you
[alec]: unsurprisingly, my problem was paying too much attention to what I was thinking and not enough to what was really around me. I'd assume the worst and make it fit in my head even though it hadn't actually happened. [alec]: sometimes it had kind of happened? But usually not the way I made myself feel about it. [alec]: the therapist leading the group... paired us off, I guess. Was trying to help us balance it out [alec]: it was awful for a couple weeks. We barely talked, he kept startling me because he would walk around fucking silently, and I apparently kept 'blocking his sight lines' and 'looming' in his way
[magnus]: my poor awkward giant
[alec]: ha. You're not wrong though. He's relatively compact and I was even more all arms and legs than I am now
[magnus]: I'm a terrible person, that sounds hilarious
[alec]: you could never be a terrible person. Plus in retrospect I'm sure it was. [alec]: I was very uncomfortable at 18, kept trying to make myself smaller and shorter which never worked and tended to make me all elbows and knees and stutters [alec]: Hodge was grumpy and stocky and looked about ten years older than he actually was. He was also really tired of everyone telling him he was overreacting every time he jumped.
[magnus]: people are assholes
[alec]: sometimes, yeah [alec]: I think it was a kind of self-defense, really, that once we started talking he'd point out the things he kept seeing and hearing that I missed. Most of the time, I'd realize I'd maybe sort of noticed it, and I'd tell him why I hadn't thought it was important. Not just that it hadn't scared me, but why. Which apparently was a new thing. Most people just said *that's not going to hurt you* with a *don't be dumb* implied on the side
[magnus]: which you never did
[alec]: tried not to. The step-by-step deduction was the thing that helped him out. [alec]: helped me out too, because I started noticing when I jumped a few steps in order to get to the worst possible conclusion [alec]: and then I started noticing things even before he told them to me, and he started figuring out they weren't trying to kill him even before I pointed it out [alec]: Once it clicked, I never really managed to turn it off? But it wasn't ever as... hair-trigger as Hodge's had been. [alec]: part of why I don't dance when I'm out with the hedge. I tend to focus on who I'm dancing with, and not. Everything else? Same for not drinking. It helps keep me steady, knowing I know what's going on around me, paying attention to what's out there instead of what's in my head. Alcohol blunts that awareness enough I start getting twitchy.
[magnus]: now I feel terrible, I keep trying to entice you to go out drinking and dancing with me
[alec]: but I want to [alec]: I don't think you understand just HOW MUCH I enjoy your dancing [alec]: and I know you'll keep me safe
[magnus]: now who's perfect? I'm going to start crying and ruin my eyeliner
[alec]: well we can't have that [alec]: Would it make you feel better to know that when Hodge met Jace, Jace tried to clap him on the shoulder (despite the fact that I had told him how I knew Hodge, and why we were working together) and Hodge just sort of turned sideways and Jace was flat on his back on the floor blinking at the ceiling? [alec]: because the memory of that makes me feel better on an almost weekly basis and it's been something like seven years
[magnus]: ohno that's perfect.
[alec]: Jace being Jace, he was of course delighted, and he popped right back onto his feet and asked Hodge to show him how he did it. [alec]: Hodge was very confused.
[magnus]: I would have been too. Your brother sounds like... something else
[alec]: He is one of a kind.
[magnus]: ...
[alec]: I see you typing. No smart comments, you're stuck with him forever now. Package deal.
[magnus]: I know, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't think he agrees though. Your sister's voice did something odd when she mentioned he might join us for lunch.
[alec]: Not yet. He's just cautious. For good reason.
[magnus]: I know
[alec]: I love you
[magnus]: And I you
[alec]: Jace will probably be fine, he likes when people feed him. Izzy might just be annoyed that she'll have a witness to her attempting to interrogate you. She tends towards inquisitive.
[magnus]: I'll have my deflecting answers ready, shall I?
[alec]: I mostly just don't answer, but you do you
[magnus]: I always do
[alec]: I've noticed. It's one of the many things I appreciate about you
[magnus]: you're going to make me blush. I have to change the topic now, or I'll do something excruciatingly sappy. [magnus]: Where is Hodge now, if you don't mind me asking? Are you still in touch?
[alec]: He works for a cleaning company. He's never said, but I think it's a nice change for him, fixing things and putting them back together, instead of... you know. [alec]: He HAS said that he likes ending the day being able to see exactly what he accomplished via empty trash cans and shiny floors and windows. Plus then he gets to go home and leave work completely behind.
[magnus]: That does sound rather nice, I can see the appeal
[alec]: neither of us picked good careers for that second one, did we?
[magnus]: not so much
[alec]: He and Jace also do the self-defense classes together at the gym where Jace works. Jace always volunteers to be the bad guy. He's so proud when, by the last session, he spends most of the hour flat on the mat.
[magnus]: that's oddly adorable
[alec]: that's Jace
[magnus]: But now that my office hours are about to start, I should probably hide my phone until I'm done [magnus]: until later, love
[alec]: until dancing. I can’t wait 💖
#shadowhunters#i am for you#jilly writes#malec#magnus bane#alec lightwood#lydia branwell#jace lightwood#isabelle lightwood#catarina loss#ragnor fell#raphael santiago#my sh fic#epistolary!fluff fic
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SH 3x08 Theory [Spoiler Alert!]
[If you don’t want to know anything about 3x08 or any of my theories yet, don’t read this. Click the back arrow. Read my book review. Ask me questions. Stop reading this though. If you just want to watch the promo clip, my theories will begin under the cut.]
For those of you that don’t mind spoilers and speculations, welcome!
As usual, our beloved Shadowhunters aren’t taking their feet off our necks. We only get a couple of hours to breathe after an episode before they start hitting us with promos for the next one.
Here’s the first promo clip (that I know of) for 3x08, titled “A Heart of Darkness”.
youtube
Clearly, there’s a lot going down in 3A. (I’m not complaining.)
First off, we have Miss Lilith showing her face instead of using Jace, or one of her many disciples. (For those of you interested in a head count, she had 32, then Ollie came so it was 33, but two disintegrated, so now she has 31, unless you count Jace, which would put her back at 32. The numbers are confusing.)
Enough with the mental math - moving on.
As you can tell from my “Girl WHAT?” post, I had a few questions. One of which was about Lilith, and whether or not she’d be coming for Simon. Judging by the promo, the answer to that is: of course she is, because everyone loves picking on the boy for shit he can’t control.
Yes, I’m bitter.
On the bright side, it looks like we’ll finally get a little more insight as to what the mark actually means, and why the Seelie Queen chose Simon specifically. I’m also hoping we learn why he became a daylighter in the first place, but I’m willing to cross one bridge at a time.
By now, we know that Seelies may not be able to lie, but they’re famous for finding all sorts of ways to bend the truth. Remember what darling mama Lightwood said to Izzy back in 1x06?
“Never trust people who can’t lie. They find much more inventive ways to stab you in the back.”
If anyone has learned anything from the Seelie Queen in season two alone, it’s that Maryse told no lies.
So what does any of this have to do with Lilith? I have a theory.
It’s far-fetched, highly unlikely, and impossible to prove/disprove because the main person involved is dead.
Remember when the Seelie Queen decided to align herself with Valentine and start a war? Anything to be on the winning team, right? Right. What if, during their little walk, Valentine got to talking, and got in the Seelie Queen’s head with his ideas of ridding the world of demon blooded creatures?
I mean, it’s hard to be considered the losing team if your team is the only one left standing.
Then Valentine goes and kills Jace, which makes Clary get all knife happy and take him out, so his plans die with him...or so we assumed.
Hear me out.
WHAT IF, the Seelie Queen did some...Seelie Research (I don’t know what else to call it. Digging maybe?) and discovered a mark. A mark unknown by any Shadowhunter, vampire, or warlock, that packed enough power to take out anyone - even someone as evil as the mother of all demons. All she’d need is a vampire with the ability to walk in the sun, and she’d be all set.
(I told you it was far-fetched, but I’m drinking Jack D. again, and I needed to post this.)
Whenever one of Lilith’s children/disciples/minions/whatever the fuck you want to call them dies, we know that she can feel it. It’s why she left to retrieve the sliver of Clary’s soul herself; she’d just felt the death of the demon she’d sent out to find Clary, only to be killed when Izzy came across it. Again, just recently in 3x07, two of them approached Simon, and were disintegrated by the mark, which caused Lilith to scream, either in pain or frustration - we don’t know yet.
Lilith knows about the mark, and exactly who gave it to Simon, so she goes straight to the Seelie Court to have the queen remove it. Naturally, that condescending little wench said something that translated to no, and Lilith didn’t like that one bit, and held her hand up as if she were ready to take the Seelie Queen out herself (thus disabling the mark and rendering it useless? Again, I don’t know. I’m tipsy.).
While I don’t approve of killing people when they don’t give you what you want, I’m perfectly fine with her taking this issue up with the Seelie Queen and not Simon directly (at least in the promo), because that boy can barely button his shirt properly these days, and he never asked to be a part of any of this. (The mark, or the shadow world in general.)
Alright, so that’s my stuff about Lilith.
Now for the heart wrenching shit.
Jace is whole mess. He’s out here struggling, but the only good thing about this clip is the fact that it’s the real Jace! That means that Catarina was right, and Magnus was able to think outside the box (like the boss he is) and figure out a way to help Jace, even if it’s only temporary.
The down side? He’s holding a knife, and appears to be begging Izzy to kill him with it.
“If I go with you, she’s gonna find me. She’s gonna make me do worse.”
This is another up/downside. The gaps in Jace’s memory have probably been filled in now that he isn’t under Lilith’s spell, but now it looks like he knows what he’s done, and he’s terrified of having to do it again. So much so, that he’d rather die than risk her finding him.
THIS IS WHY I WAS HOLLERING JUST NOW.
I refuse to believe things managed to get this fucked up over the course of one episode. Jace may have his faults, but he doesn’t deserve this, just like he didn’t deserve losing control of his mind and being forced to go around harming people. They went through all the trouble of catching up with him and saving him, only to get him back scared and suicidal?
What kind of fucked up shit is that?
I know, I know. Don’t start.
jAcE iS hOrRiBlE.
hE’s A bAd PeRsOn.
He DiD _____ sO hE dEsErVeS tO bE mEnTaLlY aNd PhYsIcAlLy AbUsEd AnD sExUalLy HaRrAsSeD bY tHe DeMoN lAdY.
rEmEmBeR wHeN jAcE *inserts old shit that literally no one cares about anymore*
If there was ever a time to focus on what was happening and why as opposed to who it was happening to - this is it. If this were any other character (literally a n y other character) you guys would be rioting. Shitty things don’t suddenly become less shitty when they’re happening to Jace, alright? Alright.
I don’t have a theory for what’s going to happen, and it scares me, because I don’t want anything (else) bad to happen. If Jace gets seriously injured or killed, not only is it going to fuck me up, but it’s going to fuck Alec up; it would literally destroy him. And Clary, to the point where she may never forgive herself, just like when Alec couldn’t forgive himself for what happened to Jocelyn. And Izzy, because I know for a fact that if she’s the one to stab Jace and end up killing him, it’ll wreck her. Hell, even Simon would feel some type of way.
This would effect everyone. Including my sappy ass, so I’d like things to start working out for Jace quick, fast, and in a hurry, if that’s alright with all of you.
On one hand, I can’t wait for more promos, but then again, part of me wants to shut my eyes and not see anything else until next week.
That’s all. Thanks for coming to my tipsy Ted Talk ft. me, and five shots of Jack.
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Date
Bucky Barnes Gen, 1184 words, rated T for Hydra shit
Jewish Bucky Barnes, The Falcon and the Winter Soldier: Episode 1 New World Order
Past Stucky, Past Bucky/Connie
Bucky gets ready for his date with Leah.
TW: mention of past noncon
Read on AO3
Part 14 of Making a Home - the Jewish Bucky series
-------------------
Bucky stares at his reflection in his bathroom mirror.
There are dark circles under his eyes, but they aren’t too deep. His hair is slightly styled, and it hasn’t been too long since his haircut. He shaved a couple days ago, so his stubble feels right. It’s the kind he likes to wear now. He enjoyed having a beard in Wakanda, but this is Brooklyn. Old habits still make him take razor to skin every couple of days. He does like the stubble better than the clean-shaven look though.
Pierce liked him clean-shaven.
So much of his fucking life has been stained by these people.
It’s not about any of them today, though. It’s about Bucky. And Leah. The reason he’s staring at himself in the mirror right now, when he usually avoids it, is because he wants to look… good for her.
He’s got a date, for the first time in… eighty years. His last date was on June 14th, 1943, with Connie, at Stark Expo. She’d been cute, with brown hair and a nice smile. They’d gone dancing. They’d seen each other again in Azzano, where she’d ended up stationed as a nurse.
When Steve had gotten him out of the weapons’ factory, she’d been the one to run his medical exam. She’d found absolutely no issue, while most of the others had bruises and coughs. They should have known back then that it wasn’t normal, not when he’d been dying of pneumonia a week before. Nothing else had happened between them because Steve was there, and war gave them a strange safety to be together.
Maybe if Steve hadn’t been there, Connie and him would have kept seeing each other. Maybe, if things had been different, they would have gotten married when coming back from the war. Connie Barnes.
No, that made no sense. If Steve hadn’t been there, Bucky would have stayed in Hydra’s claws, at the factory. He wouldn’t have lost his arm, but they still would have made him the Winter Soldier. All that serum they’d pumped into him wouldn’t have gone to waste.
Steve saving him from that factory hadn’t done anything but give him one year of reprieve, one year of good memories for him to lose later. One year of Steve’s golden love.
Either way, his last official date was decades ago. He took her dancing after the expo. He doesn’t think going dancing now would be a good idea. Those clubs aren’t the right place for a conversation. You can barely hear your thoughts in there, let alone someone else’s words. Besides, he doesn’t think he’d enjoy it too much. The noise might be enough to overwhelm him entirely, even outside of the pressing throng of bodies, the smells of so many people in the same place, sweating and dancing.
Leah seems more like she’d want something casual. She works a lot, and her shift ends late. He doubts she’d want to go to a club after that.
Whatever happens, there’s a bouquet of flowers waiting on the counter of his kitchen while he gets ready. Hopefully, he hasn’t lost too much of his touch.
He used to be good with girls. He hopes that somehow, flowers are still appreciated. He couldn’t imagine they wouldn’t be, but the world has changed so much that there is no certainty anymore, about anything.
That’s untrue. There is one thing he knows: Leah is gorgeous. She has a great smile and amazing eyes, sharp and dark. She’s funny too. Bucky’s always liked sharp-minded girls, and she’s… she’s absolutely his type.
Maybe he could be hers?
He doesn’t have a lot of hopes. He wouldn’t be going if he and Yori weren’t regulars at Izzy’s. He knows that whatever excuse he can come up with to get out of it will become a conversation subject, and that’s something he wants to avoid. There are many questions he doesn’t want to answer.
He doesn’t even know what to expect. Back in the day, he used to know what a first date could bring. What going dancing would bring, depending on the girl. Now, in 2024, he doesn’t know anything anymore. All he knows is that it could go many different ways, from a kiss on the cheek to something much more involved.
He’s not ready for the latter. Even if Leah is gorgeous, and seems like she would be fine with the metal arm… Even if he wouldn’t mind not being alone for a night... Perhaps even waking up to someone by his side… There is a level of intimacy to sex that he’s not ready for.
He’s tried the… one night stand thing, to get himself back in the game and take away that loneliness for one night. He also hoped some physical exertion would give him a nightmare-less sleep without the need for medication. He downloaded a dating app on his phone, found someone to meet up with and chickened out before even seeing her in person. He’s not ready for any of this.
If she wants to, will he say no? He doesn’t have an answer to that question, and that scares him.
He hasn’t had consensual sex since 1945. He’s afraid of what would happen if he tried right now. There’s a host of issues there that he hasn’t touched, that he’s turned a blind eye to. Stuff he won’t ever tell anyone. No one needs to know about it. That’s his shit to deal with, it doesn’t have to be broadcasted to the world.
He exhales deeply. Time ticks on by and he needs to get himself moving, but he can’t right now. He’s nervous , he realizes. There are too many ways this evening can go. He doesn’t have enough experience to have a plan ready. At least, he knows Izzy’s enough to know the exit routes. That’s already something. The rest is up in the air and he absolutely hates not being able to plan.
He shouldn’t be approaching this as a mission but he can’t help himself. That’s how his mind works now. Especially when he’s nervous about something. There is comfort in seeing the world through the simple structure of a mission. It’s also dangerous, of course.
Leah’s not a mission. She’s a wonderful girl, and he’s going to spend a nice evening with her. They’ll make small talk. It will be fine.
He sighs and gives himself a smile in the mirror. It looks fake on him. He’s not the boy from the old pictures anymore, smiles aren’t easy to him now. But he’s sure that she’ll make him chuckle and smile. It wouldn’t be the first time.
He hates that he’s going to lie to her for up to several hours tonight. She deserves honesty. He’s not up to give her that yet, however. He can’t tell her he’s 106, and that he’s the Winter Soldier. And he also, selfishly, doesn’t want to. He just wants to be James. Or Jacob. He wants to be free for the evening and perhaps… perhaps he’ll get to be just James tonight.
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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Shadowhunters (TV) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Alec Lightwood & Isabelle Lightwood, Alec Lightwood & Jace Wayland Characters: Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane, Jace Wayland, Isabelle Lightwood Additional Tags: Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Communication, Post-Episode: s02e10 By The Light Of Dawn, references to suicidal tendencies/ideation
“Magnus. It’s Alec. Call me back now.”
The first call went to voicemail.
“Magnus. I need you to call me. Please.”
So did the second.
“Oh, God, Magnus. Please be okay. Just call me. Just--I need to know you’re okay. Please tell me you weren’t here.”
And the third.
After that, Alec didn’t trust his voice to work and started texting instead.
Where r u?
R u ok?
Magnus pls?
His thumbs rapidly tapped out a series of increasingly incoherent pleas as the elevator climbed from the second floor to the third and when the doors slid open, he heard the chime of Magnus’s ringtone for him sound in the body-strewn hallway before him.
“Oh, God.”
He checked each corpse because he had to. At least the process of finding out one way or the other let him feel like there was something he could actually do.
An unreal silence shrouded the grisly scene running down the corridor. The Institute was never this still, like the historic cathedral itself had sucked in a horrified breath at the calamity that had befallen its denizens and was waiting to exhale.
Finally, half-hidden underneath one hunched-over body with dark hair and a dark jacket, Alec spied the familiar case of Magnus’s phone and felt his world end. He stood there staring at the phone, unable to bring himself to bend down and turn the corpse over for confirmation.
This isn’t happening. Not now. Not this soon.
Magnus was supposed to outlive him. By centuries.
Gradually, other details began to filter in. The cut and fabric of the jacket were far from fashionable. The shoes were scuffed and ugly. The fingers, twisted into a rigid claw in the moment before death, wore no rings. The nails were unpainted. The hair was too long, not shaved close to the nape of a neck he loved to kiss.
Oxygen flooded Alec’s lungs for the first time in what felt like hours and he rolled the corpse, revealing the circle rune on its neck.
Not Magnus.
Not Magnus.
Alec knelt beside the body with his eyes closed and his head bowed for a long moment, trying to remember how to breathe. There were still dozens of bodies to check. Magnus has been here, the phone made that much clear. Just because this body wasn’t his didn’t mean his wasn’t here.
Alec pocketed the phone and pushed on, bile rising in the back of his throat every time he had to turn over a corpse that bore some resemblance to the one he sought.
Shadowhunters. They were all shadowhunters. Some with Circle runes, some without. Some had been stabbed with seraph blades, others appeared to have asphyxiated.
None of them were downworlders.
By the time he’d checked every room and hallway, sunlight was beginning to filter through the stained glass windows and Alec’s panic was dancing a merry jig on his psyche, accompanied by helplessness and an odd inability to allow himself to hope for the best that he knew was coming from another source.
I don’t deserve for this to end well.
He pushed the thought aside, because it wasn’t entirely his, or even mostly his. That was another issue, one he’d have to deal with later. Yes, for a split second after realizing the Soul Sword had been activated, he’d wondered if Clary had finally evened the score for her mother’s death, but even before Jace corrected his assumption, Alec had dismissed the idea because he believed Clary when she said she didn’t blame him.
On his way back downstairs, Alec re-checked the major clusters of bodies to see if he’d missed anyone. By now, shadowhunters who had been out on the streets dealing with Valentine’s altered downworlders were filtering back in and beginning to collect the fallen. There would be another Rite of Mourning held in a few days, and Alec would probably have to organize that because he’d overheard someone say that Aldertree would be escorting Valentine back to Idris.
It didn’t matter now. He couldn’t conceive of trying to organize his sock drawer right now, much less a mass memorial ceremony.
There were still places he could check. If Magnus had portaled in with Clary, surely he wouldn’t have gone far? But maybe he’d been forced to retreat. Maybe he’d been injured but made his way outside before the sword was activated. Alec would check the grounds first, then the underground utility tunnels.
And then? Keep branching out, perhaps. Magnus’s loft? Magnus’s friend Catarina was a healer, wasn’t she? If Magnus were hurt, maybe he’d go there. Hell, Alec would even check the Hotel Dumort, if it came to that.
He waded through the influx of returning shadowhunters into the daylight outside the Institute and turned a helpless circle, too overwhelmed for a moment to decide which direction to go in first.
But then a hand closed on his arm.
For the briefest instant, he thought it was someone coming to tell him they’d found Magnus’s body, but before the idea had an opportunity to cement, he’d already turned to see Magnus standing there.
Not even the blessed touch of the angel Raziel himself could possibly compare with the rapturous relief of that moment. He grabbed Magnus to him with no thought for dignity or decorum and clung to him there on the front steps of the Institute with his subordinates streaming past them.
Then he stepped back, held Magnus at arms’ length just so he could look at him again, see him truly standing there.
“Magnus, I thought--” Alec’s throat locked up, refused to let him form the words.
As always, Magnus was quick with his reassurances. Something about Madzie that Alec was sure would be important later but right now it didn’t seem to matter. The only thing he heard was the word “safe.”
Safe. The word echoed in his head, and with each repetition, Alec’s panic drained away, leaving a relief so profound that it obliterated doubt or discretion.
“Look. Magnus, on every mission I’ve ever been on, I’ve never felt that type of fear,” he confessed. Word vomit. Out of control. Heedless, in a way only Magnus seemed to have power to render him. “Ever. Not knowing if you were alive or dead, I--I was terrified.”
Magnus’s face was tender and intent. Offering comfort and reassurance, yes, but not in a patronizing way. He accepted Alec’s vulnerability like it was something precious to be cradled carefully in both hands, and offered his own in exchange, with all the generosity in his enormous heart.
“So was I.”
This, Alec would later ponder, was Magnus’s true magic. To gently create a space where Alec’s relative inexperience with these emotions didn’t matter, where it was safe to feel all these petrifying new things because he wasn’t alone there with them.
“Magnus, I--” An instant of hesitation, before he stepped off a different sort of ledge, the kind he hadn’t been practicing for. And then he surrendered to gravity’s inexorable grasp and the breathless, heart-stopping plunge. “I love you.”
The emotions on Magnus’s face were too complicated to unpack in the short moment before he joined Alec in the fall. “I love you, too.”
Such simple words. They changed everything.
And they changed absolutely nothing.
This wasn’t a development that had happened in the past few minutes or even in the panic-stricken hours before dawn in which he’d been searching for Magnus. This had been happening for weeks, in small steps. It had been happening in fiercely competitive grins across the pool table at the Hunter’s Moon, and in the unaccustomed feel of Magnus’s hand taking his to pulling him down the streets of Prague. It had been happening in companionable hours of gentle kisses and conversation on Magnus’s balcony and in impassioned gasps and the slide of sweat-slick skin against his own between Magnus’s sheets.
There was only one thing to be done.
Kissing Magnus felt like the jolt of electricity necessary to restart Alec’s heart, and clutching him close again was life support to keep it beating. Alec had never known an embrace could be so absolutely essential to his continued survival.
Aldertree’s words about the impossibility of shadowhunters and downworlders being together echoed in his brain, haunting him as he breathed in the scent of Magnus. But even if Alec wanted to heed them, he couldn’t. He was too far gone. There was nothing to do but ride the fall out and wait to hit the ground.
He didn’t let go until his lungs were functioning properly on their own once more.
“I have to go,” Alec said at last, though stepping away from Magnus felt like trying to hack off his own arm. “I have to check on Jace and Izzy. I have to start organizing the Rite of Mourning. I--”
“I know.” Magnus smiled and laid a soft hand on Alec’s jaw, stilling the spill of words. “I have to go, too. The fight to get myself and Madzie out was draining. I don’t have much magic left, so I won’t be much good to you healing the wounded. I’m going to go stay with Madzie and send Catarina your way. She can also rebuild the wards. Hers are just as good as mine, and it’d be useless to have me do it. Until my book of counterspells is recovered, anyone in possession of it would have a key to the front door. I think Madzie and I will make finding where Valentine stored it our little project for the day.”
Alec huffed. “Guess we know now why Valentine wanted it.”
Magnus nodded, then stopped mid-motion, frowning. “Alec--you may wish to have Catarina incognito when she rebuilds the wards. Or send the other shadowhunters out and turn off your internal surveillance. Fudge the paperwork.”
“What? Why?”
“I could be wrong.” Magnus laid a hand on Alec’s forearm, still looking troubled. “After all, it’s no secret that you and I have been seeing each other. Valentine could have easily guessed at which warlock build the wards.”
“Or he might have had inside information.” Alec groaned softly, catching on. “Any shadowhunters who were here the day after the forsaken attack would know. So would anyone with access to high-level administrative files.”
“Precisely.” Magnus’s hand tightened, then fell away from Alec’s arm. “Be careful, Alexander. Hodge Starkweather might not have been the only sleeper agent the circle has in the Institute.”
Jace was looking better than he had in those horrified moments after he activated the Soul Sword, but that was surface only. Underneath, Alec could feel the conflict roiling within him, relief at not being part demon, at not being the son of a monster, battling against his devastation at the atrocity he’d unwittingly helped commit. And something else, even more turbulent, was amplifying the rest.
Whatever had happened when Jace had gone to talk to Clary had not helped.
“You think Magnus is right?” Jace asked when Alec had filled him in on Magnus’s warning. He was trying as hard as Alec to set all the rest of their issues aside and focus on the job they had to do.
They were in the office designated for the Head of the Institute. With Aldertree escorting Valentine back to Idris, it was Alec’s for the moment. At least unless and until his mother or Lydia returned from Idris, or the Clave sent someone else to uphold their longstanding tradition of having absolutely no faith in his ability to do the job.
Ostensibly, it should be the one room in the Institute where they could talk freely. Nevertheless, Alec had disabled the cameras and searched for any other surveillance devices before he started working.
Alec crossed the room to switch on the gas in the fireplace, even though he and Jace both knew the chill in the Institute today had nothing to do with the temperature and everything to do with the calamity that had befallen the sacrosanct premises they’d called home for so many years. He braced a shoulder against the mantle. “He could be. I mean, yeah, it wouldn’t be hard for anyone paying attention to guess that Magnus built the wards. Even if I hadn’t made a public display of my interest in him at my wedding, he’s the nearest High Warlock and traditionally we pay for the best for services like that. But it couldn’t hurt to be careful.”
“Careful of what?” Izzy’s interrupted, appearing in the doorway out of nowhere. Her casual lean against the door frame did nothing to disguise the shakiness in her voice.
Alec was in motion before he could think twice. “Iz, you need to be resting,” he scolded gently, escorting her to the chair closest to the fire. There was a deep tremor in her body and the fact that she let herself be coddled said a lot about her state.
Jace made a noise that drew both her and Alec’s attention. He was staring at Izzy, stricken.
“Yin fen, Iz? Really?”
“I didn’t know until it was too late,” she sighed. “And now’s not the time to discuss it. Back on topic. What are we being careful about?”
Her denial of responsibility regarding the yin fen made Alec hesitate to confide in her. Self-serving rationalization, straight out of the addict’s handbook. Until she was well past the detoxing stage, she couldn’t be trusted. If her need grew desperate enough, she’d say anything, do anything, sell out anyone, for another fix. And she’d manage to convince herself she had to do it.
She was Izzy. The brilliant young woman who’d acquired the shadowhunter equivalent of a doctorate before most mundane children were out of high school. The fierce warrior who’d wanted to be an Iron Sister, who could take on four Circle members even when she could barely stand on her own feet.
Izzy. His sister. His confidante. His constant ally and best supporter. The girl who’d only ever wanted his happiness.
And now he couldn’t trust her.
In a sudden surge of fury, Alec swept his arm along the mantle, sending Aldertree’s trinkets and bric-a-brac crashing to the floor.
“Dammit! How did we get here?” He snapped at both of them. “Us. The three of us. We’ve been inseparable for the last decade and now we don’t even know how to talk to each other? How did that happen?”
“I don’t know,” Izzy whispered, her eyes brimming. “Some days it feels like we’re all under a spell like the one at Magnus’s party. Or like I’m still possessed by that demon, and it’s dragging out all the little bits of bitterness and insecurity hidden inside me and amplifying them. I pushed you away. I pushed Clary away. I didn’t trust you, and I didn’t want you to see--”
“Divide and conquer,” Jace said. “Oldest trick in the book.”
Alec looked at him sharply. “You think this--this is what? Deliberate?”
Jace huffed. “How could it not be? I’ve been trying for hours to figure out just what Valentine gained by telling me I was Clary’s brother when I wasn’t, and the only thing I can think of is that it forced us apart, isolated me. Same with telling me I had demon blood. All of a sudden everyone in the Institute was giving me the side-eye. Even my own family. He told me my friends and allies made me weak, but he was lying. I’m stronger with you; that’s why he had to get me away from all of you.”
Alec sat on the footstool before Izzy’s chair, studying Jace with a frown. “Okay, that makes sense where you’re concerned. But Valentine never got anywhere near me or Izzy.”
“Didn’t he?” Jace asked with a bitter smile. “A demon that feeds off deep-seated anger going after the children of Idris’s most demanding perfectionists? A warlock with a spell that manifests our worst insecurities? The hell he didn’t get through to you. Alec, you nearly died. For weeks now, everywhere each of us has turned, there’s been someone or something telling us to pull away from each other. And now there’s a chance he might have another sleeper agent in the Institute.”
Okay, so apparently Jace didn’t share Alec’s uncertainty about speaking frankly in front of Izzy.
“Aldertree,” Izzy said quietly but firmly. “If there was ever there was someone trying to tear us apart from the inside, it’s him.”
“Yeah, he did pretty much force me out of the Institute,” Jace conceded with a thoughtful shrug.
Alec hesitated. “Not to play devil’s advocate, because I sure as hell don’t know if I really trust the guy, but one of us has to be objective here and I’m not sure either of you can be where he’s concerned.”
“You think?” Izzy snarled. “You know he gave me the yin fen.”
“He warned you of the risks, Iz. You need to own that.”
“Says who? Him?” Her eyes blazed with anger. “Look, I’ve made some damned questionable choices the past few weeks. I’m not trying to dodge my share of the blame for what happened. But if he told you he warned me, he’s lying. He didn’t tell me what yin fen really was, he only said that it would help me heal from the infected wound. And he didn’t tell me it was addictive. All he said was ‘a little goes a long way’ and he said that after I was already high on the first dose, which he applied himself.” She scowled at Alec. “Would you call that an adequate warning, given the potential danger?”
Jace started nodding slowly as she spoke. “She raises a good point,” he said, catching Alec’s eye.
��He’s been trying all along to ingratiate himself with me, praising me for minor things that were no big deal, even asking me out on a date,” Izzy added, sinking back in her chair again. She pulled her legs up so that she was curled in a ball, and she seemed impossibly small and drained. How much blood had Raphael been taking? “And whatever he claims, he knew exactly what was happening with the yin fen. He banked on it. He hinted at withholding a refill to blackmail me into spying on Clary.”
Alec hunched forward, bracing his elbows on his knees and leaning his forehead on his clasped hands as he tried to slot the pieces of what they were telling him together with the confession Aldertree had made to him on the roof.
“The roof.” His eyes flew open and he looked back and forth between them. “He made a big production about hacking the power core remotely, said he had the access to shut it down, but once we were up there, nothing he did worked.”
“Delaying tactic,” Jace said. “He kept you occupied and out of the way long enough for Valentine to power the sword.”
“Why not just kill me?” Alec shook his head, dismissing his own question as soon as he asked it. “No. Too big a risk of exposing himself if he failed. Besides, he wanted to get into my head.”
“How?” Izzy asked, her voice dropping dangerously.
It felt like peeling off his own skin and exposing his insides, telling them the tale Aldertree had related and how it had resonated with him. Planting the seed that a shadowhunter and a downworlder couldn’t be together.
“That’s a damned convenient anecdote to have on hand for you specifically,” Jace pointed out. “It was personal enough to distract you, keep you from noticing that he was stalling. And he knew exactly the right thing to say to make you doubt our most powerful downworld ally. Someone who’s already gotten in Valentine’s way at least once.”
Izzy leaned forward, gripping Alec’s arm. “Even if he was telling the truth--and you know he wasn’t--what he said has nothing to do with you and Magnus. Alec, you can’t believe him.”
Alec’s jaw clenched, and he surged to his feet. “No, I can’t. But right now we have bigger problems. Because Aldertree is escorting Valentine to Idris.”
“No one there is going to take our word for it,” Jace said. “Not against the Clave’s golden boy.”
Alec nodded, reaching for his phone. “I’ll start with Mom. And Lydia. Neither of their reputations are sterling anymore, thanks to me--”
“--Us,” Izzy and Jace corrected in unison.
“--but maybe they can begin working on the Clave.” He wiped his palms on his thighs and pulled his shoulders straight. “But first things first. Izzy, you’re confined to your room or the infirmary while you detox. Go now. Don’t make me make it an order.”
She winced but didn’t argue. “I’ll go. I just might need some help getting there. It’s getting worse by the hour.”
“I’ll take you,” Jace said softly. “But seriously, Iz. Yin fen?”
She gave him a narrow look. “If we’re going to question each other’s poor life choices recently, I hear someone’s been cutting a wide swath through the Seelie maidens.”
“Not even close to the same thing,” Jace shot back, jabbing two fingers in Alec’s direction. “And you can blame him for that, anyway.”
“Wait, what?” Alec spluttered, his eyes darting back and forth between them. “How did I get dragged into this?”
Jace scoffed. “If I hadn’t been getting laid, your sexual frustration would have driven us both crazy. Thank you for finally dealing with that and giving me a break, by the way.”
Alec glowered and tried to pretend his face hadn’t just become a second source of blazing heat in the room. Come to think of it, Jace had stopped running around like he was trying to screw every girl in the downworld since Alec and Magnus had started sleeping together. Damn it.
“We’re getting off track,” he gritted.
“True,” Izzy agreed.
“Jace, help Isabelle to the infirmary, then I need you back here. Iz, I’ll come check on you later.”
The way she shook as he helped pull her to her feet made his chest tight with fear, but he kissed her clammy, pallid cheek and turned her over to Jace.
Then he paced his office and tried to organize his thoughts until Jace returned.
“Izzy preferred to go to her room,” Jace announced when he got back. “I’ve got one of the convalescing trainees stationed in the hallway outside. As far as he’s concerned, she’s just sick and injured; no need for him to know what’s actually going on.”
Alec licked his lips and nodded briskly. “Thanks. So, I take it telling Clary didn’t go well?” he asked grimacing at his own customary lack of tact.
Jace shook his head. “Change of plan. I’ll tell her later. We have other things to deal with right now.”
“Yeah, we do.” Alec folded his arms over his chest, one hip on the edge of the desk. “Like you grabbing the Soul Sword thinking it would kill you.”
Jace’s face went blank and he mirrored Alec’s closed-off posture. “Better that than letting it become a weapon of mass destruction. Not that it did much good.”
“As horrific as the outcome was, what I’m getting at here is that this isn’t the first time you’ve actively courted death since everything with Valentine began.” Jace’s eyes slid away from his, but Alec chased them, stepping sideways into his field of vision again. “In fact at this point I’m pretty sure I’ve lost count of the number of times you’ve willingly--you might even say, eagerly--tried to fall on your blade.”
“This coming from the guy who almost took a dive off Magnus’s balcony?” Jace’s eyebrows shot up and he gave Alec his best sneer.
“Yeah, about that.” Alec cleared his throat. “I’ve been trying to figure out what happened that night. I mean, sure, I feel like complete hell over what happened to Jocelyn, but not bad enough that a few harsh words from Clary were going to push me off a ledge. But there you were in the other room at that exact moment, convinced the only mother you’ve ever known was telling you she wished you were dead.” He spread his hands in a shrug. “Call me crazy, but I’m not sure that’s a coincidence.”
“Oh, God,” Jace muttered, his mask of derision falling away.
“And the thing is, I’ve spent a lot of time lately running away to high places. Activating my surefooted rune and jumping. Courting death, just like you. I’ve lost count of the number of times that’s happened, and I’m not sure that’s a coincidence, either.”
Jace hunched forward, his arms tucked in against his chest, his hands in his armpits, his head bowed. “Alec--I didn’t know. I would never--”
“I know.” Alec stepped in close to him, until Jace was forced to look up and meet his eyes. “And if I’m being fair, maybe some of it is coming from me. But my point is, we’ve got to find a way to deal with this, both of us, together. Especially after what happened today. Don’t think I didn’t clock the look on your face when you told me you were the one who’d activated the sword.”
Jace’s eyelids started growing red at the edges, tears flashing but not falling. “All those people--Alec--I don’t know if I can--”
“It wasn’t you.”
“The hell it wasn’t!” Jace planted his hands on Alec’s chest, trying to shove him away, but Alec braced against it, refusing to budge. “Valentine played me like a fiddle. I swooped in there thinking I’d save the day and I killed them. How many were there? Have we even gotten a body count yet?”
“Valentine killed them.”
“I made it possible.”
“True,” Alec nodded. “But he put your hand on that sword as surely as his demon put mine through Jocelyn’s chest.”
“You didn’t choose to kill Jocelyn. But I chose to try to destroy the Soul Sword,” Jace protested, still pushing half-heartedly.
“Really? That suggests you thought you had other options. What were they?” Alec grabbed Jace’s shoulders, giving him a gentle shake. “You believed what he wanted you to believe, and you tried to do the right thing. It’s not your fault he lied.”
“It’s not your fault Jocelyn’s dead either. You telling me you don’t still blame yourself?” Jace shot back.
Alec shook his head. “Not as much as I did. You can thank Clary for that, really. Even just seconds after seeing me kill her mother on the surveillance video, she knew exactly where to put the blame.” He ducked his head. “She’s a lot better about that than I’ve been where she’s concerned. I’m trying to take notes.”
“You think it’s that easy?” Jace asked bleakly.
“Hell no. It’s not easy at all. But we have to do it. Because whether it’s your death wish or mine or a combination of the two, it’s going to kill us both if we don’t work it out.” He sucked in a shaky breath, something wonderful fluttering hard in his chest as he remembered those moments on the steps with Magnus. “And I really don’t want to die right now, parabatai.”
Jace almost smiled, just a little, some of the despair in his eyes lightening. “I know. I’m happy for you.”
“I am, too,” he murmured as Jace pulled him into a brusque hug.
Alec let himself smile and feel his own joy for a moment. It seemed misplaced today, when so many bodies still lay on the floors outside this office, so he tucked that spark of happiness back inside, nurturing it for a more appropriate time, stepping back from Jace.
“Ready to get to work? he asked.
“Yeah.” Jace nodded once, firmly. “The downworlders aren’t going to want to see my face when they come to collect their fallen, so where do you want me?”
“Get a head count of whichever able-bodied shadowhunters we have left and start organizing patrols,” Alec instructed, crossing the room to sit behind the desk. “Leave interfacing with the downworld to me for now.”
“You got it.” Jace spun on his heel, striding toward the door, only to turn back at the threshold and speak over his shoulder. “You’re really great at this job, Alec. The Clave needs to make this permanent.”
It was another thirty-six hours before things were settled enough that Alec finally was able to retreat to his room and try to rest. By then he’d been awake for nearly three days and he was getting seriously diminished returns from activating his stamina rune.
He pulled out his phone to text Magnus to check in and apologize for not having the energy to come over, only to stumble across the man himself before he had a chance to hit ‘send.’
“What are you doing here?” he asked, though he’d made certain that Magnus was on the list of downworlders approved for entry into the Institute. If the Clave had a problem with that even after the sacrifice New York’s downworlders had made trying to stop Valentine, he’d deal with them later.
Magnus spoke over his shoulder, running his glowing hand along something on the wall that Alec couldn’t see. “Inspecting the wards. Though I might not have cast them, I’ll feel better having double-checked them. Not that I doubt Catarina’s skill, of course, it’s just--Oh, this is new. Very nice. I’ve never seen it done that way before. She’s refined her technique. I’ll have to get her to show me that spell.”
Somewhere in the middle of Magnus’s chatter, Alec’s eyes began to drift closed and he swayed on his feet. Magnus caught his shoulder and Alec’s eyes popped open. “Sorry. I just--”
“I know.” Magnus smiled gently. “I was going to ask if you wanted to grab a late dinner but clearly the only place you’re heading is bed.”
“Pretty much. How’s Madzie?” he asked as Magnus fell into step with him, subtly shoring him up and keeping him from walking into walls.
Magnus grew quiet. “She’s sad and afraid and not sure who to trust right now. After the way Valentine manipulated her, I was determined to be completely honest with her, no matter what. But that meant I had to tell her the truth about where Iris was, which entailed explaining to her that Iris had hurt people and was going to be punished.”
Alec hissed between his teeth. “Which got her wondering if she was going to be punished for what Valentine made her do.”
“Exactly.” Magnus sighed, his shoulders drooping. “She’s been alternating between bouts of hysterical panic and being so withdrawn she’s almost unresponsive. I’ve spent a lot of time the past couple days trying to reassure her that there’s a difference between adults who make their own choices and children who have been tricked into doing things they wouldn’t normally choose to do, but it’s going to be months, maybe even years, until she feels truly secure again, I think.”
“Damn,” Alec muttered. “She’s such a sweet little thing. She didn’t do anything to deserve any of this.” He rubbed his eyes, stifling a yawn. “You think she’ll be okay with Catarina?”
Magnus nodded. “I do. Catarina has raised orphans before; she’s good with children, including traumatized ones. I’m going to make a point of spending time with her as well. Iris’s corner of the downworld was home to a particularly fringe element, and thus not a very stable or healthy place for a child. Catarina and I will be a much better influence.”
“I’d like to see her again, too.” Alec smiled softly. “Thank her for saving my life, at the very least, and maybe show her that shadowhunters aren’t all like Valentine.” His jaw tried to unhinge itself on another yawn. “Not tonight, though. Obviously.”
“Obviously,” Magnus agreed with a wry smile, opening the door of Alec’s room for him.
“I would have called and asked to come over, but I don’t want to be too far from Izzy right now,” Alec explained, peeling his shirt over his head and dropping it without any thought for tidiness.
“Yes, I checked in on her earlier.” Magnus kept his voice a low murmur, thankfully not pointing out just how terrifying badly Izzy looked. “How long has she been semi-conscious and delirious?”
“She started to get bad around this time yesterday.” The brush of Magnus’s hand on his arm told Alec that Magnus heard what he wasn’t saying. Seeing Izzy in that state killed him every time he looked in on her. Even the horror of personally overseeing the return of dozens of downworlder bodies--with as much ceremony and respect as he could organize on short notice--to their clans, packs, and kin, had nothing on it. “Jace and Clary have been doing most of the heavy lifting there because I’ve got to run the Institute, and Izzy didn’t want any other shadowhunters getting involved. If the medics gossip--”
“--It will be devastating to her reputation, yes.” Magnus nodded sympathetically. “ I know it looks awful, Alexander, but she will improve, I promise. I did what I could to help her be a little more comfortable, and I’ll check back in on her before I leave tonight.”
“Yeah? Who says you’re leaving tonight?” Under other circumstances, Alec might have tried for a jaunty leer, but at the moment he was lucky to pull off a somnambulant slur.
“You want me to stay? Here at the Institute?”
Alec shrugged, rubbing his neck. “I sort of have an in with the guy who’s temporarily in charge, and he’s putting a moratorium on the Clave’s ban on downworlders in the Institute.”
Magnus’s head tipped slightly to the side, accompanied by a tiny smile that Alec was coming to understand meant Alec had done something to surprise him. “Well, I suppose I have no urgent business requiring me to be elsewhere, if that’s what you’d prefer.”
“Please,” Alec whispered with as much depth of feeling as he could muster the energy for. He settled his hands on Magnus’s waist and pulled him close, leaning his brow against Magnus’s. He was so tired he could have dozed off just standing there; sex certainly wasn’t on the menu tonight, but after those horrible, horrible hours of uncertainty, he needed that contact, needed to hear Magnus’s breath and have him within touching distance. “Please. I have to grab a shower, but I’d really love it if you’d be here when I get back?”
“Then here’s where I’ll be,” Magnus vowed, pushing up on his toes to brush a soft kiss across Alec’s mouth before stepping away. “For as long as you want me.”
BUY ME A CUP OF COFFEE!!
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okay it’s time to write my finale Opinions™, i think it’ll be long and full of Unpopularity™ but i need to say it
i’ll say that overall it was a nice episode, nicely paced, with a lot good scenes:
what i LOVED
clary, she was awesome! the entire middle part, with jace’s death, her versus valentine then bringing jace back, has to be the most well done part of the episode! all the kudos to kat, she kicked ass and truly gave an heartbreaking performance
MY SUPER ULTRA MEGA FAVORITE PART IS, OF COURSE, ALEC’S REACTION TO JACE’S DEATH THOUGH. MAN, THE FEELS. my expectations were on the ground even though i knew it would happen, so the fact that they put FLASHBACKS in, higlighting all alec’s best most precious memories of jace, truly surprised me in the best way!!! that they would give it so much care and focus even if only for a short while??? i legit teared up. and the reaction was exactly like i had imagined it to be, the initial sudden pain, falling on the ground, not being able to breathe, then when he realizes jace’s dead he says it with his face so void of all emotions cause he’s EMPTY inside, a part of him just died (seriously, i published this last week, even though it’s in a divergence where jalec got together after kissing at the seelie court, but it really amazes me of how many things i got right). and then when he reaches him and he’s alive, he’s looking at him like he can’t believe he’s real and is itching to get close to him but he’s so CONFUSED at wtf just happened, then they both gravitate towards each other, and while the hug was short and one armed, their faces?? alec still has his eyes so wide open like he’s still under shock, while jace closes his eyes and buries his face in him. LKDLSFDKJLL, MY HEART
what i LIKED
the demon hunting was also good at the start of the episode, the sneak peek scene is still very cool, that foursome should work together more often
the clizzy talk at the end was so sweet, and it’s just so hilarious that they ‘’sistered’’ them too, i guess i can’t have one ship that isn’t zoned like this, but #who cares, i love them, they look so good and they’d be perfect together
the luke clary hug at the end was so sweet, they’re so preciuos and important
have i said how much i enjoy sarah as the seelie queen? i prefer her more to the kid, cause while she was good, i still can’t picture the queen like that okay? sarah was creepy in the perfect way, the right look, and she really sold the part, i could see the queen and not the actress, so yeah i approve. also the seelie court set is very pretty and earie
what i’m meh about
so, i don’t ship cl@ce, their relationship does have at least a proper role in the show and their scenes were well done/sweet, the emotional part was good etc. it’s just that...i both want them with other people...and i can’t help resent the relationship a little cause it takes away from my otps...:/
i enjoyed simon and maia dynamic when it started in 2x06, and i thought i’d enjoy them both platonic anf romantic, but as i found out i can’t watch them be in a relationship, especially done so QUICKLY after climon while it’s very CLEAR that simon is not really really over clary, it’s been what? a WEEK? this show has HUGE problems with continuity and portraying a realistic (or at least that makes SENSE) development of things, so no i can’t buy it. i adore maia as usual tho and i like that she’ll be a regular next season. and i guess simon is now trapped with the queen as payment for getting maia out? yikes
i don’t dislike luke, he’s a nice character, but i can’t help but not be invested in his storylines, they could do much more with him. and the whole ollie thing? HOW WAS IT NECESSARY? it took away from a more clear and coherent development of MAIN things, so while i don’t dislike the character i can’t not roll my eyes at it.
NOW FOR THE DOOM AND DESTRUCTION, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK, IF YOU DON’T LIKE WHAT I SAY YOU CAN TURN THE OTHER WAY
okay first for the THEY COULD DO SO MUCH BETTER part: while i loved all the parabatai parts, they still have GREAT DIFFICUTLY in keeping a consistency, you can’t have alec be distraught in one scene and casual in the next one and then wide-eyed again in the next, it’s just, CONSISTENCY, if half of his soul just died he should be FRANTICALLY looking for him like in 2x01-02 not casually strolling...and i have a pretty clear idea why they did it, cause that bond can’t take precedence over the Ships, cl@ce and m#lec in this case, so there are good emotional SHORT moments, and apathy in the middle. this was so obvious in 2x19, they focused for 5 SECONDS on alec after jace was hurt, didn’t even show him react, so yeah they need to upp their game and bring more continuity and FOCUS for this bond. a SOULBOND FFS?? WHAT OTHER SHOW HAS IT?? THEY’RE PURPOSEFULLY WASTING IT
GAH GAH GAH GAH GAH. whoever knows me know that i have 999999 problems with m#lec, and this episode is only another nail in the coffin. listen, problems with their portrayal started lowkey in s1 around 1x09 for me, but throughout s2 they started growing and growing and GROWING, and now i’d need another complete essay to list them all, but let’s just focus on this episode. so we’re supposed to buy this ‘’perfect’’ reunion, all is well! it’s all in the past!!!! don’t need to apologize!!! while A. alec has had to apologize 1049 times while m#gnus was downright CRUEL about his ‘’mistake’’, he sided with a queen he knew was shady all for the ‘’good and protection of his people’’ while in this episode he was sitting around and almost didn’t go and try to save the world?? where his people live?? or even his friends??? he also didn’t warn alec about the shield so that he could’ve just casually DIED because of it...and all along he was shown to be very petty and immature towards alec and everyone else cause he was Hurt. the thing is, magnus isn’t PERFECT and he doesn’t NEED to be, but his actions, even if he has all the ‘’’right’’’ to feel and act however he wants, STILL NEED TO HAVE THE PROPER CONSEQUENCES LIKE THEY DO EVERY DAMN TIME FOR ALEC OR EVERYONE ELSE. so NO i don’t want to hear any excuse or double standards here, all the fucked up things he’s ever done, like stealing the cup from alec in 1x09, almost cheating in 2x13, WERE NEVER ADDRESSED OR EVEN AKNOWLEDGED and that is NOT good or healthy or fair in a relationship. ONE CAN’T BE A SAINT AND THE OTHER A SINNER. so after all this bs, instead we got such a void and superficial reunion that didn’t adress anything that happened at all, and it will continue this way for all eternity it’s what it seems. AND I DON’T WANNA HEAR ONE SINGLE THING ABOUT IT BEING GOOD OR HEALTHY, CAUSE THE ‘’I DON’T THINK I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT YOU’’ (which was also bs, alec was living just fine and thinking very straight ever since...but sure, put words in his mouth while his ACTIONS don’t show them at all, such LOVE) IS NOT A HEALTHY THING WHEN YOU JUST MET SOMEONE TWO MONTHS AGO AND YOUR RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN ROCKY AT BEST AND YOU DON’T HAVE A FREAKING SOULBOND TO JUSTIFY IT. also on another note, how good is this relationship for alec’s character that he gets turned into an incompetent while he’s with m#gnus, re: the demon fighting, he could shoot one well enough with such a short distance a few hours before...
FOR FUCK’S SAKE, IT ANNOYS ME SO MUCH HOW THEY USE IZZY’S CHARACTER TO PROP UP EVERY SHIP AND THEIR MOTHER. who was she this episode? A PROP. most of all with m#lec, they always have her do it, gash about m#gnus and have alec do something about it until he feels the need to do it. it happened in 2x15, 2x18, and now in 2x20...and she deserves so much better than to be a mouthpiece for the inability of relationship to stand on their own!! even at the end with cl!mon, like before with sa!a and cl@ce in other episodes etc. etc. the list is LONG. give her GOOD THINGS DAMNIT
#my post#shadowhunters#beside still water#sh spoilers#my rant#READ AT YOUR OWN RISK#ALSO DON'T LIKE DON'T READ
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Shadowhunters Season 2 Episode 15 -- A Problem of Memory -- Review/Discussion
I’m back again with another Shadowhunters review. I feel really bad about being so late on these. I’m not getting a whole lot of inspiration with these episodes lately. But oh well. This time we have Shadowhunters Season 2 Episode 15 – A Problem of Memory. I found myself very satisfied with this episode. By no means would I say that I liked it. But I was satisfied with it.
This is going to be an honest review of my thoughts and feelings regarding this episode. If you’re the kind of Shadowhunters fan where you only want to hear positive things about the show, this is not the place for you. If you decide to stick around and get offended by what is said, then that’s on you. I warned you. Just know that if you send me any rude comments or messages, I will 100% ignore you. I find that’s the best way to deal with bullies. I work 14 hour days. Do you really think I want to waste my incredibly valuable free time dealing with derogatory comments? Hell no. This review will consist of my honest opinions. Opinions are never right or wrong. I’m not telling you how to think and feel. So please, let’s discuss with dignity and respect. If I’m critical about the show, it’s only because I want it to get better. There is, in fact, a difference between hating a show and being critical of it. I do not hate Shadowhunters; I am being critical and analyzing the flaws as I would with any other show. There are positives but there are also negatives. It’s great if you want to promote positivity with this show (and I encourage you to do so) but that doesn’t mean you should acknowledge the things that are legitimately wrong with it. Also, keep in mind that despite the fact that I do love the books, me being critical of this show has nothing to do with my love of the books. I don’t really care if the show deviates from the source material as long as it’s good and it makes sense. My problems with this show are problems that I would have with any show or book for that matter. I think it’s perfectly reasonable to take issue with a show that has plot holes, shoddy world-building and inconsistent characters. There will be spoilers for the books and movies.
Alright, so ultimately, I was pretty satisfied with this episode. I wouldn’t go so far as to say I liked it but it was moderately entertaining. There were stretches within the episode where I was legitimately bored, though. I watched this episode on Tuesday after it aired, which was my birthday, and I was far more interested in the game of Scrabble I was playing with my friends. I play a mean Scrabble, btw. Obviously, I didn’t feel too strongly about this episode considering how late I am in writing this. I feel like this has been happening a lot with 2B. The episodes have been leaving me with a general feeling of apathy. The episodes are satisfying but they’re also not dragging me into the story which is a very disconcerting feeling for me. Supernatural/fantasy type shows are my catnip. I typically love these kinds of shows and I want them to last for a good amount of time. I am sad that The Vampire Diaries has finished. I am sad that we’re almost done with Teen Wolf. The Originals is always one foot away from the chopping block (although I am hoping it sticks around for a little while longer so that Klaroline has a chance to grace my screen again). Pretty soon, I’m not going to have that many more fantasy type shows for me to cling on to. I guess we’ll always have Supernatural, though that is one fantasy show I wish would end. It has gone on for far too long in my opinion.
More Love Triangle BS
So we got the love triangle stuff with Jace/Clary/Simon still going on. This was kind of where my boredom was starting to surface within this episode. I don’t think there’s a word in the English vocabulary that epitomizes how much I don’t care about this love triangle. I barely tolerated it in the books and in the show, it’s completely insufferable. The only saving grace this plot point has is that it’s finally going to push Simon into some plot arcs that don’t center around Clary for once. At least I hope so. Simon, throughout his character arc, has always been following Clary’s plots around like a lost puppy and I’m interested in seeing where the story is going to take him now. Speaking of which, I got a little excited in this episode when Simon finally blows up at Clary. That was great. I think I enjoy it a little too much whenever people do yell at Clary. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, I get super happy. It’s like a drug for me. And I’m sorry to you Show Clary fans who adore her but I cannot stand her. Any scene that she’s in, I want to skip past. I just do not care about her at all. Which really shouldn’t be happening with a main character but what can you do? And I actually recently had an epiphany on why I don’t really like Clary. And it’s not for any of the shallow reasons that some people dislike about her i.e. her always needing to be saved. It’s nothing like that. I’m actually in the process of writing a post about my dislike of her character in the show. So if you follow me, you’ll have that to look forward to. But anyways, I’m not a fan on how the show is doing this love triangle. I think it was a mistake to portray Climon as this great epic love. By the show doing this, they wrote themselves into a corner because now there’s really no way to finish out this love triangle story without it turning into a cliché teenage melodrama. I was a fan of Simon in this episode. He treated Clary exactly how I wanted him to. Clary is being her typical selfish self by blaming everyone but herself. I have no sympathy for her. I did see this one post where the blogger had talked about Simon being overly dramatic and that he doesn’t really have a right to be angry with Clary. Clary didn’t ask for Simon to be in love with her and all that jazz. Now, that kind of talk I would find acceptable with Book Clary and Simon. Book Clary was fairly obvious about her feelings being different from the feelings Simon had. However, this argument doesn’t work as well in the show. Because Clary had given no indication whatsoever that she wasn’t all in for Simon. In fact, she was telling Simon the exact opposite. Jace revealed they weren’t really siblings and she straight up didn’t care. She even reassured Simon that she wanted to be with him (Simon). That is straight up leading him on even if it may have been slightly unintentional. But anyways, Clary was trying her hardest to get Simon to take her back and forget what all had happened but Simon’s not having it. I don’t know why she thought that would work. Clary is trying so hard to preserve this relationship but she’s not stopping to think and ask, “What does Simon want? What does Simon deserve?” He deserves to be with someone who loves him as much as he once loved Clary. I really like what Simon says to Clary when Clary tells him she loves him. “Stop! Don’t say that because you don’t mean it like I mean it.” I’m glad that Simon is showing Clary that she needs to hold herself accountable for her actions (something she never does in the show) and that not everything can be so easily forgiven. I’m glad the show is finally starting to do this with Clary’s character. One of my biggest gripes with the show is how willing the show is to forgive Clary for everything and no one ever holds her accountable for anything. I hope the show tries to do more with that.
Simon had his own plot arc going on in this episode which I kind of enjoyed. I did have a couple of issues with it, though. First issue was that it’s such a predictable plot. I can’t tell you how many shows I’ve seen where I’ve seen this plot point used. Never for a second did I actually believe Simon killed that girl. Why was I so sure? Because despite Freeform’s best efforts in making this show “edgy and racy,” they can’t help but to play it safe. Freeform is too afraid to go into something really dark like actually having Simon accidentally kill someone while he was under this blood-induced euphoric state. I think that would’ve been a really interesting direction to take his character. It would’ve been interesting to see how he dealt with that issue. I really wanted them to do it but ultimately, they fell back on bad habits. I know, Simon killed that vampire who framed him but that’s hardly the same thing. The emotional response we could’ve gotten from Simon would’ve been so much stronger if he had accidentally killed an innocent girl who put her trust in his ability to control himself as opposed to killing someone out of self defense. Disappointing but what can you do? I could write a book on all of the missed potential this show had with its plot arcs. I am a little upset that the show seems to be kind of writing off Izzy’s addiction too. They’re just saying she’s going to meetings to help with her addiction issues but we haven’t seen anything that shows she’s really struggling or anything that shows where she’s currently at in the recovery process. Which brings me to my second issue. When the vampire brings Simon to that club to feed on willing humans, I had a hard time believing that Simon would actually want to do this. Particularly since he knows about Izzy. It probably would have worked better if Simon hadn't known about Izzy’s problem and was just finding out that it’s possible for people to become addicted to vampire venom. But the fact that he knew about Izzy’s struggles and yet he was so willing to give this a try didn’t really sit well with me. I guess he was already intoxicated from that plasma shot he had maybe. I don’t know. It also confused me on why he didn’t realize that these kinds of dens may exist after Izzy confessed to him that she’s addicted to vampire venom. Did he never question where she was getting her fix? Obviously, she never went to one of these dens but Simon doesn’t know about her relationship with Raphael. And on the other side of things in 2A, why did Izzy risk being killed by Blondie Vamp when she could’ve easily gone to one of these dens? Ugh, so many plot holes once you start actually thinking.
But ultimately, I could get behind this plot point because it’s finally showing Simon trying to find his own way in the Shadow World instead of clinging on to Clary. It’s about him trying to figure out who he is and where he belongs in the Shadow World. He has ties to the mundane world, the shadowhunter world, and the downworld but yet doesn’t fit in completely with any of them. I’m really excited to see where this story is going to take him. This plot definitely had its flaws but the idea of the plot is what sold it for me. But that’s Shadowhunters for you. They always have really great ideas; it’s the execution that’s the problem.
Luke’s partner was also featured pretty heavily in this plot point too and I wish they would just drop this character. I don’t know what’s going on with her and what part she’s actually going to play but she’s completely unnecessary. This show has waaaaaaaaay more characters than they know what to do with. I really hope this show gets to the point of her as a character soon because she absolutely bores me whenever she’s on screen.
Aline Is Here
Aline has also made her debut into the tv show. I’ll be honest. In the books, I never really understood the fandom’s fondness for Aline. She’s not a bad character or anything. I don’t hate her, I just don’t care about her. We don’t spend a whole lot of time with her in the books and she never left me with any sort of impression. She was there and she and Helen are kind of cute, I guess, but again the books never spent a lot of time with developing Aline and Helen. So when people were badgering the showrunners about when Aline is going to show up, I really didn’t care. She showed up in this episode and I liked her scenes but ultimately, I still didn’t really care. I’m interested to see her in future episodes. The dynamic that she appears to have with the real Sebastian Verlac was nice to see. I’m definitely interested to see how Helen is going to pop up in this show and what the show does with her and Aline. Aline and Izzy also had a really nice relationship. I was beginning to wonder if Izzy was friends with anyone besides Clary. She doesn’t seem to socialize with any of the other shadowhunters at the Institute. Seriously, did Izzy have any friends before Clary showed up? But I’m always happy to see positive female relationships. I know this fandom has a pretty big Romantic Clizzy fanbase but I hope the show doesn’t go there. And before anyone jumps down my throat, no, it’s not because I’m bigoted and I don’t want to see a lesbian couple. Obviously, I don’t feel that way since Malec is one of my ultimate OTPs. TV these days really needs more supportive female friendships and that’s what I like about Clizzy. That’s what I liked about Aline and Izzy. And I want to see the show continuing on with that. Not all chemistry is romantic, guys. Sometimes there’s chemistry that works better as friends. And not all chemistry should be romantic.
We also had Will Tudor being his usual awesome self. This time he was playing both the real Sebastian and Jonathon. The talent this guy has, he has far too much talent for this show. Every scene he’s in, he outshines everyone else. Which is what makes the reveal at the end of the episode a little saddening. Jonathon finds a way to spring Valentine from the Clave and when Valentine is brought before him, Jonathon reveals his true self a la shapeshifting rune – a burnt, walking talking corpse, apparently. I really hate that rune. When I saw that reveal at the end of the episode, though, I burst out laughing. I think the last time I laughed so hard in this show was back in 2A when Jocelyn showed Clary the vision of Jonathon as the demon child where he made a flower wilt. I laughed pretty hard in that scene and laughed a lot in this scene. It’s just such a Disney thing to do. Of course, the villain would turn out to be this burned corpse because you can’t be attractive and evil at the same time. I can’t say I’m surprised though. Freeform is owned by Disney. Again, like I said before, it’s a very safe way to go about the series. Now, before anyone tries to claw my eyes out or anything, my problems with the reveal have ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with the fact that this is different from the books. That’s not my issue. I just think Jonathon being this attractive character but gets so progressively evil that his soul kind of warps into that of a demon’s is a much more interesting theme to explore than having him be this burnt up corpse. There is evil in beauty. That and it means Will Tudor as Jonathan has a time limit which is sad. He’s so fantastic as an actor that I literally could watch a 40 minute episode of Shadowhunters with it just being Jonathon formulating his evil plans. I’m sure Shadowhunters has a plan on where they’re going to go with this burnt corpse idea. I just hope it’s not going to be cliché Disney villain plot point. I’m sure this plot point was also taken so they could better explain why no one is noticing that Sebastian Verlac is not the real Sebastian Verlac. The Season 1 writers really wrote themselves into a corner when they made shadowhunters compatible with technology. The current writers really had no choice but to use the rune in this instance.
Malec This Episode
So Malec was pretty great this episode. We actually got scenes that lasted for more than thirty seconds this time around. Alec can tell that something is wrong with Magnus but Magnus is refusing to open up to Alec. Magnus is having problems dealing with his mother’s death and the repercussions of this death but he’s refusing to open up to Alec about this until Alec finally convinces him to talk about it. An excellent use of throwing Magnus’ words back at him. Magnus once told Alec that when things get tough, to not push him away. And here, Alec tells him the same thing. I was glad to hear it. Magnus comes clean that when he was tortured with the “agony” rune (I still can’t say that with a straight face – it makes no sense for why such a rune would exist) he was forced to relive the memory of him finding his mother after she committed suicide and his father lashing out at Magnus about it. Magnus uses his magic to kill his stepfather and admits to Alec that he had full control of his powers back then; he wanted to kill his stepfather. Magnus tells Alec that he wanted to keep this from Alec because he didn’t want Alec so see this “ugly” side of him. In which Alec responds with understanding. “There’s nothing ugly about you.” Alec accepts him for exactly how he is. He doesn’t have any kind of romaticization about Magnus. He intends to find out about the darker parts of Magnus. He doesn’t just want to be with the light parts. It was a really great moment for Malec.
Now, I am a little torn on how I feel about the show changing Magnus’ past with his mother and stepfather. But after going back and forth on it, I don’t think my problem is that I liked the story in the book better as much as that I felt the show could’ve spent a little more time on this flashback. We didn’t get to see a whole lot of Magnus’s stepfather and we certainly didn’t get to see what exactly the man was saying to Magnus. The tone wasn’t really working. In this instance, tone is everything and I don’t think the show got the tone right. The flashback could’ve been really great but the show did the bare minimum and in doing so, messed up the tone a little. Now, I have heard people say that they think the scene in the books is a little overdramatic in the sense that Magnus’ mother hangs herself out of shame in finding out she had laid with a demon and the stepfather trying to drown Magnus. I disagree on that assessment. Magnus was born in a time where if you were different, you were seen as evil. Anything that was different was seen as the devil’s work. So it would make sense that Magnus’ mother killing herself over finding out what her son was and his stepfather trying to drown him makes sense in context. I am a little sad the show didn’t go with this story but I understand the story the show is trying to tell. It works in its own way. The story in the books wouldn’t have worked as well with the theme they were trying to implement here. Like I said, it works, I just wish we had gotten a little more in the development of this flashback.
I also saw a few posts where a blogger was talking about how rigid Alec looks in the Malec scenes. That he doesn’t really look comfortable. He very much had a military like stance when dealing with Magnus in this episode. I think this was more of an acting decision. For me, Alec is feeling insecure about their relationship. Magnus is refusing to open up and it’s making Alec a little uncomfortable. So I was fine with the rigidity he might’ve been having these past couple of episodes. It makes sense based on what Alec is feeling.
I would probably give this episode a B. I definitely felt it was better than the previous ones. As always, there are still things the show can improve on. For one, executing their ideas better. As I’ve said many times, the writers have a lot of good ideas, the execution is what makes them fall a little weird sometimes. I also can’t help but feel like the writers may be writing with their dominant hand being tied behind their back. I mentioned it earlier in this review but I’ve been starting to realize that the writing in this show has been very “safe.” The show scaled back on the incest plot because it was controversial. We’re never really sure what the show is trying to do with Malec as a couple because the show doesn’t feel comfortable with how much they can get away with in that relationship. They went for the obvious plot point of Simon being framed for a murder instead of going dark and having Simon kill someone while in his drugged state. They’re certainly scaling back on seeing us watch Izzy with her recovery probably because that’s controversial as well. In the 2A finale, they had all of the main downworlders in one spot but yet none of them were harmed by what happened in the finale. They all conveniently were able to escape from the massacre. They did kill Jocelyn but Jocelyn was also a character a majority of the fanbase didn’t care about so her death was an “eh, whatever” thing. One of these days, I would really like to see the show just go for it. They’re trying to be dark and racy but at the same time they’re still afraid to. They don’t know how much they can get away with and I look forward to the day when they throw caution to the wind and just go all out. We don’t live in a pretty world and the shadow world certainly is not a pretty world to live in. It is dangerous, these people lead dangerous lives and it would be nice to see just how cruel and unforgiving this world can get.
That’s about all I have for you guys. Again, sorry I’m late. But better late than never. I’d love to hear your thoughts on the show. Did you love it? Did you hate it? Do you agree or disagree? As always, be respectful of mine and everyone else’s opinions.
#shadowhunters#shadowhunters review#shadowhunters discussion#shadowhunters 2x15#shadowhunters 2x15 review#shadowhunters 2x15 discussion#shadowhunters season 2 episode 15 review#shadowhunters season 2 episode 15 discussion#shadowhunters a problem of memory#shadowhunters a problem of memory review#shadowhunters a problem of memory discussion#malec#climon
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How are you not mad about this episode? there was so much wrong with it, how are you still on the showrunners side?
okay… now that it is a day and one meal later, I could finally address this question. First off, I was mad at A LOT of things in this episode, but from a creative perspective? I fking loved it! The effects are getting better and better as the episodes progress, and I know some people might not agree with me, but there has been a lot of character development ever since the beginning of season 2. The actors themselves are getting better as well, let’s not forget about that.
It is true there was so much wrong going on with this episode, I agree with that! With that being said I’ll just go over it character by character:
Valentine: homeboi was let loose for hours without anybody knowing other than Azazel… He said some major bs and way too many awful things to even count. Was actually offended by being inside Magnus’ glorious body?? like what?? They’re nowhere near comparable… The only thing I was semi-amazed by was his ability to learn magic that fast, like some warlocks take years to learn the most simple thing and there he was pushing out fireballs and putting up wards, but then again he was inside the High Warlock Magnus Bane and was helped by Dot, one of the best Warlocks out there as well.
Magnus: my heart broke… It must’ve been absolutely terrifying to not have anyone believe you at all, not even your lover. He tried to convince Alec, but even bringing up one of their most intimate times didn’t work. He looked absolutely defeated by the time they were about to torture him, and when they did? He was just completely gone. It’s been centuries of having to deal with thinking that it was his fault his mother killed herself. Or how terrible his childhood was after he found out who he was. No wonder we’ll see him putting up his guard all over again next episode.
Alec: as much as he tried to believe Magnus, it seemed like everyone around him was telling him to do the complete opposite. He’s also being put in this vulnerable position, there is so much going on in his life that I could only imagine what it felt like. With that being said, I also think he should’ve had a bit more faith in Magnus, but then again all he saw was the man he probably hated the most stating things only he and Magnus shared… All offense taken, I don’t think he could do much to help Magnus out to be completely honest. Year he could be there for him, but at the same time, he doesn’t even know about Magnus’ past as much as Simon does. Let’s also not forget about how little he trusts Sebby boi.
Inquisitor Herondale: she is a touch woman. I don’t even know where to start with her, all I could say is that she’s taking her suppressed hatred against Valentine out on the Downworlders, which is nowhere near fair… All these years she’s worked with the Clave, I don’t even know how much Downworlders have died wrongfully under her watch. I could only hope as the story progresses, her relationship with Jace would soften her cold heart a bit and bring her back to what people used to know her now that she’s gotten Valentine and has a grandson.
Jace: Golden boy who? I know know Jace-Peter Pan. He might as well fly if he continues on with those jumps. Do I see him and Sebastian getting along? Yes, but not for very long. Alec’s suspicion would eventually rub off on him, or some big thing would happen that’d cause him to stop trusting him. Him and Clary need to work shit out asap, I know they’re in the middle of the war, but things like this need to get talked about no matter what. One thing tho, he needs to stop giving some of the worse advice out there… every time he tries to “help” Alec, he ends up having him do the complete opposite, on the other hand he looked so ready to plan something out with Magnus for Alec!! And can we please talk about how happy shaken he was to learn that he isn’t a “stray” like he had always believed himself to be??? He actually has someone that’s blood related to him! His hands were shaking so much from happiness and I honestly think he deserves the very best.
Clary: homegirl needs to chill with the whole PDA and what not. It’s not a matter of whether I ship Climon or not, but it’s more of, at the moment everyone seems so busy with everything and then there’s Clary who’s worried about how many kisses she’s gonna receive today… I have to give her credit though for finally getting it together half way through the episode. Although I think it wasn’t right for her to not tell Simon about her and Jace not being siblings, she was kind of right about how worried he’d be, I mean after all, Simon isn’t someone with the best self-esteem out there. All in all, she’s trying, and that’s all I care about to be honest. I was scared for her when Sebastian forced her to face her inner feelings! I was taken aback and I’m not even in the show…
Sebastian: little sneaky snake! He’s acting all innocent and trying to win everyone’s heart, but it’s clearly not working with some /cough/ Alec /cough/. From the moment he stepped into the institute, he seemed suspicious and I think if it wasn’t for everything that’s going on right now, they would’ve kept an eye on him. They were so strict about Clary, why would they let a semi-runaway shadowhunter just walk around the institute like that??? His true colors are showing slowly… I know for sure his story isn’t gonna end this season and would most likely go on for at least half way through season 3. Valentine’s story isn’t even completely done and we’re already on 2B. I’m pretty sure he’s gonna plot something to either free Valentine or kill him himself, he won’t let it go so easily. Back to him and Clary, as I said, he could get very terrifying and that was just him talking to her without flinching… imagine what else he’s capable of doing. Fight me on this, but I’m still very sure he had something to do with her not being able to use her runes ability! and don’t get me started on how he asked her to dinner!!!!!! fuck off!
Izzy: wtf are you doing???? Like how many times do you need to get fucked over to come to your senses??? first Aldertree and now Sebby Boi?? Why? What happened to your brain cells from season 1?? And her constant mistrust in Alec is just pissing me off at this point… like she doesn’t even give him a chance! I know him barging into Hotel Dumorts and pulling her away from Raphael like that wasn’t the best way to do it, but you gotta understand that it’s just his instinct to do so… and now she’s telling him that HE needs to have more faith in her, and he should trust some stranger danger because he couldn’t help her out?? Sorry, but fuck off. To top it all off with the cherry on top, she goes and decides to threaten Raphael’s sister?? his only remaining relative? He did not trust her with that information to have her fucked him over like that… she needs to get her head out of her ass asap. Considering her long-term relationship with downworlders, you’d think she’s better than that…
Simon: oh flower child… NOT! wtf was wrong with him too?? Just agree to go with Izzy and do that shit?? wtf! honestly, you could defend Simon all you want, and I truly love this idiot, but it gets too much at times. Like he is his own person with his own set of thoughts! Why does he let people control his life so much?? And then HE gets pissed at Raphael for attacking him? What’d you think!! And that part where he just stood in the sun and started spitting bullshit at Raph… ouch.
Raphael: this guy could never just mind his own business without someone fucking up his day like that… He has every right to be pissed off at everyone right now. Literally no one is on his side and it’s pissing me off so much! For years upon years he’s been suffering on the inside to accept himself and his destiny to continue on as a downworlder… he wears a fucking cross that clearly burns him just to hurt himself even more. Having his own fledgeling tell him that he was never loved must’ve fucked with his brain even more than usual. Not to mention that now some of his clan members saw Simon as a daylighter, they didn’t even listen to him when he told them to back off… His leadership role is hurt and I’m here hurting for him. So you know what? fuck everyone that’s hurt him throughout his life. Just let him be ffs.
Luke: if you blink you’d miss him………………….. He literally said like one line throughout the whole episode, wtf is up with that?? I don’t even know what to write about him here… there’s NOTHING!
All in all, I liked this episode, I think they’re improving drastically! and that makes me very happy about it. I’d love for them to to not fuck over so many characters at once, but then again, Shadowhunters, as a show, isn’t meant to be lovey-dovey rom-com… It is literally just a pile of angst. I’m excited for this season, but at the same time I’ve set my hopes to be very low atm… I don’t know what to expect, but meh we’ll just have to see as the season(s) progress :)
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soooo shadowhunters amiright?
okay yall so i’m just putting my thoughts down on this post after watching 2x09 and I have a lot of feelings about it. Most of this will be negative and very angry sounding so if that’s not your cup of tea than you should ignore this, otherwise feel free to agree or disagree. All of this is my personal opinion too so dont expect well thought out or well written meta either
Okay? cool.
(spoilers below the cut)
Alright so first of all:
I have sooooooo many issues with the shit that’s going down this season so first and foremost imma talk about my girl Maia
Why in gods name would Maia Roberts ever try to kill Clary??
First of all Maia is incredibly smart and tactical, so why would she ever try and kill Clary, a girl she was on friendly terms with, in broad daylight in front of her pack leader, another shadowhunter, and Simon? Also she tried to do it alone so that makes no fucking sense either; she knows how much the shadowhunters and Luke care about Clary so why bother going after her without any backup?? Ridiculous. (lmao what is characterization)
Secondly, and most important, Maia was abused and neglected by her own family. So it makes 0 sense to me that she would try to kill Clary and blame her for what Valentine shitty-parent-of-the-century Morgenstern is trying to do. In fact Maia seems like the least likely person to attack Clary cause she’s a) Simons best friend, b) Luke’s daughter (basically), and c) would never try to attack someone who’s been used and abused in a similar way that she had. She would never. (the show hasn’t gotten into Maias backstory yet so i’m basing this off of the her backstory from the books. They might change it in the show so i’ll stay tuned for that but even if they did change it, her feelings about clary still don’t make sense).
Not only that but Maia is canonically biracial in the books, and as a biracial girl myself, it is incredibly disheartening to see a character who is like you, being sweet and funny in one episode, and in the next be vilified by the writers. It’s also why i’m extremely protective of Maia because she’s one of the few characters that i identify with.
Now I say vilified because literally Maia was the only one who actively tried to kill Clary. Sure, Meliorn and Raphael suggested it but they never actually acted on their threats. Neither of them actually tried to hurt Clary so now i’m just confused. Way to go Freeform. (There better be a legit explanation for this or todd is gonna catch these hands)
Which brings me to my next point:
Why in the name of all that is holy would Luke Garroway, my father, ever lock her away in a closet???
Yes it was a closet, a supply closet to be exact, and it was just shoddy writing at best. First of all Maia is a fucking werewolf, no supply closet is gonna be able to keep her locked up, so Luke?? wyd bro?? He’s literally a cop who has access to 24 hour detention centers like are yall shitting me rn???
Second Maia said in the episode that she’s claustrophobic, and what’s worse is that Luke knows this. He knows she can’t handle small enclosed spaces. So locking her away was straight up irresponsible, especially for a pack leader like him, because she could panic, transform (which is exactly what happens), and potentially hurt people. Luke knows this and yet he still does it anyway. It would make more sense if he forbid her from leaving the Jade Wolf and ordered the pack to keep her in line but that’s not what he does. And i’m frustrated that that is the decision he makes (once again what is characterization) because he knows how Maia will react. Its stupid and, frankly, she didn’t deserve that at all.
Now here’s the other thing:
Why the fuck is raph/izzy happening?
It literally makes no sense to me whatsoever and it’s a ship that came out of the left field and blindsided everyone. Seriously who thought this was a good idea?
I hate this ship for several reasons:
1) It’s born out of a codependent drug addiction. There is nothing romantic or cute about a relationship like that nothing. Isabelle went to Raph thinking he’s helping her with her addiction but all he’s doing is supplying her with her fix and not actually helping her get over it. She’s using him for his venom and he’s likewise using her for her blood. WHAT ABOUT THIS IS ROMANTIC AM I MISSING SOMETHING HERE????
2) It’s mentioned by both Magnus and Victor that Raphael has struggled with resisting human blood in the past (the past being around the time he was turned) and Magnus helped him get over it. But that was decades ago (around the 1950s to be exact). You’d think that Raphael would have a hell of a lot more self control when it comes to human and shadowhunter blood, especially since the clave has a record of his past misdemeanors and he’s recovered from his own past addiction.
Also, and this is my main point of confusion, why the fuck would Raphael Santiago ever help feed a shadowhunters venom addiction, especially a Lightwood?? Raphael was alive when the Lightwoods joined the Circle, he knows their history, and he literally watched as Isabelle helped Simon and Clary escape with Camille, a person who is arguably one of the biggest threats to the NY vampire clans existence. If anything he’d be resentful of her because she’s the reason Camille threatened the clan again. Not only that but shadowhunters in general have made his life a living hell: they’ve threatened his clan multiple times, blamed him for Camilles escape, and literally tortured him. Raphael would never fully trust a shadowhunter or be with one intimately, especially Isabelle. She seems like the last person he’d want to be with.
speaking of Isabelle...
What the hell were they thinking?
Honestly I want a goddamn answer because I genuinely want to know why they decided drugs would be Isabelle’s storyline this season???
Jem Carstairs already had the yin fen storyline and I truly don’t understand why they gave her Jem’s storyline when they had other options. Like why is Izzy Maryse’s least favorite child (or why is Maryse harder on Izzy than she is on the other Lightwoods)? Shit she could’ve been researching for a way to rescue the downworlders Valentine has trapped but nooooo I gotta watch this garbage.
Not to mention the fact that one of the few latina characters (idc what Emeraude says Izzy is Latina) on the show has been turned into a drug addict i.e. a really negative stereotype (I don’t want to get into this too much because i’m not latinx and can’t speak on this accurately, i’m just going off of what other latinx fans have been saying). There were other storyline ideas that the writers could’ve gone with for Isabelle this season but they choose drugs??? Sorry but I don’t want to watch that when my faves onscreen time is better spent being the kind, badass, smart character she was last season. I want to see Isabelle being the best forensic pathologist in new york not depending on raphael to get her venom. No thanks.
Also I feel like they’re totally mischaracterizing my girl here. I mean the second she found out Victor gave her vampire venom she should’ve gone to Magnus or Alec. I mean I know izzy is proud but she’s also dedicated to her family and to being a shadowhunter, and yin fen gets in the way of both those things. Isabelle is more than this and i’m mad that this is how they’re treating her this season.
alright i think thats it for now, as you can see im very heated abt this and i hope the writers will explain or fix everything in due time
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