#this ended up being much more elaborate than i intended

[zelliphies-art]

School gala, aged up version ✨

I loved chapter 96 so much 🥰

[hazbin-writings-and-musings]

Lucifer Morningstar x Pregnant!Reader Headcanons

As much as dear Lucy and reader enjoyed themselves in this headcanon post, I can't help but imagine such activities might lead to Charlie become a big sister, so I put some headcanons together for such a situation. I know that Sinners can't get pregnant as canon currently stands, so I typically employ either the Rules of Fanfic or I imagine reader is a living human that ended up in Hell through magic shenanigans (will elaborate with a prompt post once I've got the spoons), though of course you're free to imagine them as Hellborn or whatever suits your fancy!

Warnings: Pregnancy Mention, Implied Smut

- He's insistent you see the Royal Physician as soon as you start experiencing symptoms, but he's not at all prepared for the diagnosis you bring back, and he might need you to repeat it a few dozen times. You're pregnant? With a baby? And it's his? He put a baby in you? You're going to have his baby? An actual baby? He's going to be a dad again?! So goes the conversation for a good ten or so minutes, and suffice to say he's far from calm once the news finally does sink in. Given that the two of you had assumed that an angel and a mortal couldn't reproduce, this is more than an unexpected surprise, and Lucifer knows all too well how much of a fuss this will create from Hell's lowest ring all the way up to Heaven. That's to say nothing of how Charlie might take the news...

- Once the initial panic fades, after a solid hour or so, he gathers himself and focuses on setting a course of action. A very important decision needs to be made. He says it's up to you, but upon being asked what he'd like to do, the King of Hell surprises himself and answers without hesitation that he'd love to have this baby with you. He's surprised because he knows better than anyone that it will be challenging, but he can't deny how much he wants it regardless. Having Charlie was the greatest thing he'd ever done, and the thought of another little bundle makes his heart swell in ways he can barely describe, but ultimately he'll support whatever decision you make. Carrying a half-Archangel is no easy feat... Hearing that you want the same and intend to carry through is enough to make him lift you clear off the ground in a spinning airborne embrace, wings fluttering like a hummingbird as he breaks out into a celebratory musical number or two. He can't wait to be a dad all over again!

- If you thought he pampered you before, you were wrong. He doubles the amount of servants at your call, ensures there's always a physician available at a moment's notice, and hires a full team of chefs to cook whatever you might crave at any hour of the day. From beginning to end, he doesn't want you to want for anything, and the man knows a thing or two about spoiling, and he goes all out to ensure you're surrounded by comfort at all times. That's to say nothing of his own personal dedication to more or less worshiping your existence. Even the tiniest indication of pain or discomfort has him leaping to your assistance. Backrub? Footrub? Full body massage? You name it, he's quite happy to provide. If it wasn't such a cliche he'd be rather happy to feed you grapes from a golden platter. His efforts are borne from the deep sense of pride he feels every time he looks at you and thinks of how incredible it is that he's with you, that you're carrying his child, and that the two of you are bringing something quite wonderful and unique into existence. Said pride fully extends to the public view, where he doesn't hesitate to show you off and humbly brag to anyone that will listen about the news.

- You'll also find that as protective as he was before, he doesn't even hesitate to get his fangs out now, not that many in Hell are stupid enough to mess with the King's beloved. He expects you to be treated with the highest levels of respect, and if he can't accompany you somewhere, he'll insist on an armed escort to keep you safe. This fear isn't completely unfounded, as there are some willing to risk everything for an upper hand on Lucifer, but he's got ample experience keeping the opportunists at bay. He did the same when Lilith was expecting Charlie.

- Speaking of Charlie, the only thing that gives him any kind of hesitation is his fear that she might take the news poorly. Though she took your relationship well, what if she isn't thrilled about a younger sibling? With their relationship so recently repaired, he fears she might worry about being replaced or pushed aside, and he doesn't know how to reassure her that nothing will ever make him love her less. Thankfully, with her boundless kindness and eternally upbeat personality, the Princess of Hell puts his worries to rest as soon as she gets the news. In fact, she reacts much the same way her father did; a massive hug and a delighted musical number, albeit with far more happy sobbing. She promises through tears that she'll be the best big sister Hell has ever seen, and that she simply can't wait.

[p1hypen]

TERRIBLE TWOS — P. SUNGHOON

SYNOPSIS! A rash decision on your end causes you and Sunghoon to break up. What you think is for the best turns out to be the complete opposite, actually. Cue two years later when a random encounter with your ex forces you to revisit past feelings that has never quite fully departed from either of you. PAIRING! Chairman!Sunghoon x Fem!Reader WC! 11.4k (Got carried away)

GENRE/CW! Exes getting back together, fluff, slight angst if you squint, smut (fingering, brief mentions of fem oral receiving, sunghoon has a 7 inch cock; i headcanon that, unprotected sex, missionary, creampie, lots of tongue kissing), swearing, reader is in denial just a tad bit, ft. non-idol!yunjin, reader is a struggling fine arts major, etc. MDNI

A/N: originally, i intended for this to be a simple one shot but it somehow turned out to be greater than that in the end lol. this was also my first attempt at writing smut; i've always wanted to try it but damn is it kinda hard. i feel like the title doesn't match or capture the story as good but whatever-- it used to be called 'seasons,' yet that didn't make sense either so... terrible twos it is! i hope you enjoy <3

“Y/n?” 

A trace of uncertainty laces the man's voice, his mind racing with the possibility that he might have mistaken a stranger for someone from his past. Internally, he winces at the prospect of this awkward mix-up, dreading such an encounter with a random person. He clings to the hope that his intuition proves accurate.

Could it really be her? Amid the bustling crowd, she always managed to stand out, an unmistakable aura surrounding her. Her presence eclipsed even the most vibrant of settings, radiating a unique energy that outshone a field of flowers.

When he tentatively calls out her name in a hushed tone, she spins around on her heel, and for an ephemeral moment, Sunghoon feels as though he's stepped into a scene from a classic romance film.

Time stills and so does he. 

Each of your movements steals his breath away. The way your hair dances in harmony with the wind, and how your eyelashes cast the most delicate shadow upon your high cheekbones. Your gradual unveiling leaves him struggling to swallow past an inexplicable lump in his throat. 

Sunghoon notices the moment your eyes widen. Behind those enchanting orbs, he discerns a flicker of nostalgia and a touch of melancholy. During your time together, he had the uncanny ability to read those emotions hidden within the depths of your eyes.

“Sunghoon…” You say no louder than a mere whisper that could easily get lost in the summer’s wind that passes through the both of you. 

Your heart throbs in your chest. The biological response is far too overwhelming that you can feel your stomach tying itself in double knots. You think you might need to be pointed to the nearest bathroom so you can barf up the swarm of butterflies that disturb your system. No doubt, does crossing paths with an ex whom you share a long history with manage to do that to you. 

“H-how are you?” You’re the first to strike up a conversation despite that being Sunghoon’s unspoken responsibility. 

How am I? Sunghoon has to brace himself to collect his messy thoughts. 

“I’m pretty good, and yourself?”

His response is curt and short. In any other setting, he would have elaborated on his answer but he wasn’t sure how much information was too much to reveal to an ex regarding the state of his well-being. You nod at his words, not really expecting much nor having high hopes that he would give you more to work with in this conversation of playing catch-up between an ex. 

See, your relationship ended amicably, with both of you acknowledging that the spark kindled between you two had faded out. With your mind elsewhere, too focused on your academics (so you like to say), and Sunghoon preparing to inherit his family’s business, there was little room for romance in either of your daily routines. Your typical weekend dates were swapped out for meetings with major corporations and other soon-to-be-chairman-related activities so that he could fully understand what the rest of his future held for him. 

Even though you missed having your boyfriend's undivided attention, you refused to act as a temporary roadblock that prevented him from making significant progress. Despite your heart and brain being at war with each other, you made the conscious decision to slowly back down from being his lover and tucked your face in the pages of your academic textbooks.

With Sunghoon too busy to even acknowledge that his girlfriend was distancing herself from him, you were the first to come forward, bearing the news that breaking up would be the optimal solution to your and his fading presence in one another’s lives. 

That night when you bid goodbye, he felt half his heart shatter inside of him. Little did you know that you carried the other part wherever you went, but now that you were no longer capable of sheltering that missing piece, it almost made him want to die inside more than just a tad bit— a lot, actually.

He pretended to play it cool as your back turned to him and he watched you retreat to your car, feeling both helpless and defeated. With an unflinching countenance, a tightly clenched jaw, and fingers gripped at his sides, Sunghoon longed for his feet to have chased after you, preventing your departure from his life. He yearned to undo whatever had driven you away, to rewrite his mistakes and reshape your shared history.

Sadly, not even the first star in the sky he saw at night could grant him something as demanding as that.

On the contrary, had those things happened, he wouldn’t be here today on a Thursday afternoon rekindling a connection that got tossed up in the air and fell through his fingertips.

“I—“ Before you get a chance to deliver your sentence Sunghoon’s hold on your arm prompts him to draw you to his chest. 

Your breath hitches in the back of your throat, eyes simultaneously widening for the second time thanks to a certain ex. You look up at the taller one with crinkled brows. A mixture of confusion and a looming feeling in the deepest pit of your stomach that hasn’t quite left, tugging at your heartstrings. His intoxicating scent of Dior Sauvage is all too overwhelming for your nose to take in. You swear your head could start spinning any minute now. 

He’s so close to you. You’re so close to him. If someone were to come by and accidentally bump into you, you would be pressed up against his chest, breaking what limited distance is keeping you two apart. 

A bike rider disrupting pedestrian traffic on the sidewalk whizzes by, obnoxiously ringing the bell attached to their handlebar as if they aren’t to be blamed for riding on the concrete pavement, and it’s only then do you realize that Sunghoon was protecting you from getting hit. His body relaxes once he declares that it’s safe for you to comfortably stand in the open from any oncoming obstructions. 

“Sorry… acted on impulse.” His grasp on you immediately retreats to the inside of his pant pockets and you swear that his touch leaves a ghosting sensation on your skin. 

Sunghoon refuses to meet your lingering gaze, eyes averting to some random couple walking their dog across the street from where the two of you are standing. It’s almost funny how he fully believed two years ago that one day both of you would be exactly like that: dog owners who take their beloved fur baby on walks together and enjoy the simplicity of the little things that a relationship has to offer. 

“It’s okay, thank you,” You murmur, unsure of where things should go from here. 

A beat of silence comes and goes before Sunghoon has the chance to take the initiative to prove he’s different from his past self. 

The past self you witnessed throughout the duration of your shared romanticism. The past self who failed to convince you to stay because he never wanted you to leave his side. What he wanted was to work things out and to understand what he could do to change and make things better for the two of you.

Even if that meant you breaking up with him first to realize this.

“Listen, why don’t we…” He suddenly starts. Sunghoon analyzes your face and when your features evidently show that you’re all ears for what he has to say, he takes a deep breath to compose himself. “Get dinner. Together.“ 

Although the question comes out more like a demand rather than a request, you’re slightly taken aback because you were almost certain Sunghoon probably resents you for the breakup— at least that’s what you tell yourself— and that he doesn’t want any business involving you entering his life for a repeat performance. The only different thing is that you’re his ex.

Can you blame him? It was so sudden.

The concealed hurt he tried to mask but failed to do so when you told him you wanted to end things, hoping it’d be left on good terms, rambling about how much you do and will continue to care for him no matter what he does in life or who he chooses to love after you. It seems you did more talking than he got the chance to, and Sunghoon wasn’t sure if you had this all planned leading up to that moment, or if he should’ve seen it coming. 

Whatever it was, Sunghoon could never hate or repent you, but you’re no telepathic mind-reader and wouldn’t know how he feels about you now unless you asked. 

Your bottom lip is caught between your teeth as you ponder the idea of sitting in a fancy restaurant with Sunghoon and sharing a long conversation over an expensive meal that is highly overpriced for its ridiculously small portions. 

“On one condition,” You quip. Sunghoon gestures for you to keep going and you clear your throat. “No five-star Michelin places, okay? I just want a simple dinner to make up for lost time.” 

The older male chuckles, nodding his head sensibly. If there’s one thing Sunghoon learned about you is that you were never hard to please and preferred the opposite of a high-end luxury lifestyle that he naturally grew up with. 

“Tomorrow. I’ll pick you up at 8, how’s that sound?” 

“That’s perfect but um—“ you purse your lips. “Do you… Do you still remember where I live?” 

“Of course. It would take a lot more than time and distance apart from each other, for me to forget your every being.”

Sunghoon leans in to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear. The underlying intimacy hiding beneath his actions has you contemplating what the course of your relationship would have looked like for the two of you, had you not broken up with a man as sweet and thoughtful as him.

Was calling it quits between you two a mistake? Should you have stuck it out just a little longer? 

You can only shove those thoughts to the farthest point in the back of your mind and recenter your focus to the handsome ravenette. 

Sunghoon, sporting a warm grin that gradually grows into a pearly white showcase of his perfect teeth and adorable canines, makes it worth marveling if second chances are a thing that people still stand by. 

The next evening, Sunghoon unexpectedly arrived at your front door 20 minutes ahead of your readiness. While you were trying to situate yourself into your cami dress that paired well with the current season, a knocking sound coming from the entrance to your studio unit startled you in its wake. You tapped on the screen of your phone to check the time and crinkled your nose when the numbers staring back at you read 7:40. 

Sunghoon’s habit of arriving for an occasion earlier than expected was not unusual for his character. The taller's mannerisms crept into other facets of his social life after years of being trained to believe that "early is on time" and "on time is late." However, 20 minutes ahead of schedule was definitely new to you, and part of you can’t help but think if this is stemming from anxiety or if that’s just you projecting your nerves onto his much early arrival. 

“Just a sec!” You struggled to reach for the zipper to your dress, stress-sweating due to the pressure of having to rush through the rest of your routine.

After what felt like a millennia you finally managed to seal yourself shut into your attire and scurried to the front door where poor Sunghoon was waiting for you to answer.

“I’m so sorry, I couldn’t get to the zipper of my dress and I don’t think me flashing you or my neighbors in semi-public is socially acceptable.” You awkwardly laugh, strands of hair sticking to the back of your neck and forehead from the accumulated sweat you managed to produce. 

Sunghoon chuckles, shaking his head at your guilty tendency to overshare too much information for the dramatics.

“No worries. I know I showed up earlier than expected. Don’t worry about me, do what you need to do.” He smiles softly and for a second it almost slips your mind that you’re no longer romantically involved with each other. 

Oh, how you wish you could leap at him and smother the dashing man with kisses all over his Greek god-like, beautiful face…

“Here,” The taller unveils a bouquet of flowers that he attempted (underline, attempted) to hide behind his back. In reality, you could already see bits of it peeking out but chose to play coy about the item he was holding back from giving you. 

You fawn at the striking arrangement of tulips that come in different shades of the prettiest of pinks. Tulips. Of course, he would remember that those are your favorite. His words from yesterday ring in your ears, and believing them, you truly start to confide that Sunghoon could never boot you out of his memory as easy as a snap of his fingers.

“The prettiest bunch of flowers for the prettiest girl.” Sunghoon cautiously says, unsure if that would be stepping a line. To be fair, there isn’t an official handbook on what you should or shouldn’t say to an ex— except for some of the more common phrases; whatever that may be.

You let out a lighthearted laugh at the bold, yet cheesy, compliment and invited Sunghoon into the safe haven of your apartment, ignoring the way your heart practically skipped a beat when he said that. 

He���s been here on plentiful occasions so he’s really no stranger to the arrangement of your flat and could probably draw out an entire floor plan if he wanted to. At one point he almost committed to the thought of moving in with you, but you were a firm believer that it would be best if he stuck to the minimalist mansion he decorated himself; it was passed down to him from none other than his father. Needless to say, Sunghoon was a pouty puppy that day.

“I’m almost ready I promise.” You say. “I just need to add some finishing touches and then I’m all yours for the night.” Immediately your hands fly to your mouth when realization dawns on you about the delivery of your words. 

Sunghoon raises an eyebrow, and luckily, you miss the faint smirk that tugs at the corner of his plump lips teasingly.

“You know what I mean!” You panic, waving off the metaphorical atmosphere that surrounds both of you.

You excuse yourself and escape to your room as the tips of your ears start to flush with embarrassment.

Once the door leading to your bedroom shuts behind you with a mellow thud, your back presses up against the surface of the entryway. A loud sigh that you weren't even aware you were repressing since Sunghoon arrived breaks out past your tinted lips. With your mind a foggy mess and your heart threatening to leap right out of your chest, you’re under the impression that you resemble the stereotypical anime school girl the way your entire demeanor changes when you’re around him. 

But that’s the thing.

It’s only Sunghoon. 

It’s just Sunghoon.

So what if you guys dated in high school and partially during college? So what if he was the first and only guy you’ve been with, and even though you have no one to compare him to, he would still be the best ex you could ever have? So what if you regret breaking up with him because you got ahead of yourself and refused to be transparent with him? 

So what if you want him back…

You pat both sides of your cheeks to wake yourself from a philosophical dilemma. you refuse to go down a rabbit hole of emotions especially when you’re about to go out to dinner. 

You shuffle through your wardrobe in search of a certain pair of Converse that a special someone gave to you as a birthday gift. When you find it neatly stored away in its original packaging and the box that it came in you’re almost too eager to slip your feet into the collar of the Chuck Taylor’s.

You halt in your steps when you reach your vanity and grab your everyday bottle of perfume, spritzing one pump, then two, then three, and four more of the floral scent, that you’re showering yourself in it at this point.

When you've deemed that you’re completely ready and satisfied with your appearance for the evening, you exit the inviting comfort of your cozy chambers. Sunghoon’s back is facing you as you ascend into the living room. You can’t make out much of what he’s doing and he’s seemingly too preoccupied to notice your footsteps stalk across the wooden paneling. His neck is craned downward looking at something on the decorative table where you have a neat arrangement of framed pictures. 

“You still have this?” He turns around revealing the photograph that he was referring to, now in his possession. There’s a distant glimmer of emotion that you can’t quite make out peeking around the curves of his irises. 

You let out a resigned sigh. 

You’ve been caught red-handed for leaving a single trace of the past out in the open. 

Of all the furniture and miscellaneous objects that collect dust on different surfaces in your flat, Sunghoon chose to go for the photograph of you and him standing under a cherry blossom tree in Ilsan Park. Your arm was hooked around his waist and his was wrapped around your shoulder. The brightest of smiles stretched across your faces as petals danced around you. It was the perfect moment captured in stillness and you wish you could leap through pictures to relive that special day. A distant memory that feels like it happened not too long ago.

“I couldn’t get rid of it. It’s— That’s one of my favorite pictures of us.” You simply explain. 

It was true, because out of all of the selfies, candid photos, and other pictures you shared together with Sunghoon, your date to Ilsan Park remained your number one core memory as a couple. 

You watch intently as Sunghoon places the photo back where it originally belonged on the console.

“I think that’s one of my favorites, too.” He says as a matter of fact. “That or the one where we went to Lotte World and wore matching uniforms together.” The taller laughs.

You giggled, the recollection of your amusement park date flashing across your mind. You dragged him to go on each and every attraction with you as he stumbled in your tracks, struggling to keep up with your social battery. You felt like two high schoolers in love at the ripe age of 20 because being with Sunghoon gave you the impression that you were your 15-year-old self again. 

“I like that one as well! I thought I looked pretty cute in that uniform.” You grin sheepishly.

Sunghoon chuckles and it causes you to whip your head to survey him. His eyes crinkle before they’re no longer crescent and back to their original doe-eyed shape. 

“You’re still cute, y’know that?” 

The comment sends your heart ablaze along with the blood that rushes to the surface of your cheeks. You can only hope that the thin layer of makeup and blush you applied is strong enough to camouflage the effect that sunghoon has on you. It’s no secret that he was always a smooth talker and still is. It makes you wonder if he’s ever used that flirtatious skill on other women he’s come across after you— or if he has. 

You tut your tongue at him and reach for your crossbody purse draped on the couch that you lazily tossed aside yesterday after coming home. 

“Ready, m’lady?” Sunghoon twists the knob and pushes the front door open, supporting the weight with his broad frame to keep it from closing in on you two when you exit. 

“Wait!” You pip, halting in your steps. You briskly retreat to your room and grab the bouquet of tulips you left on the side table next to your bed. 

You scurry over to Sunghoon, cradling the arrangement of florals like it was your baby. The haired boy opens his mouth to say something but you’re too fast to retort, 

“I wanna show it off. They’re too pretty to be left at home.” 

He nods and motions his hand for you to leave the unit first. The taller gives himself a mental pat on the back for inquiring in a floral shop before coming to retrieve you for dinner.

Tulips are a girl’s best friend, after all. For you, at least.

Coincidentally dinner happens to occur at the one restaurant you frequently visited when you and Sunghoon were dating. It was a simple ma and pa spot only locals in the area knew of. They were popularly known for their cold noodles and ginseng chicken soup. You like to think of it as a secret only two of you know about and continue to gatekeep it from your friends or families from ever coming across of it. 

The owners grew familiar with both of you through your frequent visits and friendly conversations. your rapport with them resulted in a warm welcome every time you returned, often accompanied by a generous discount as a token of their appreciation. Since your last visit to their restaurant, a while has gone by, and you both have been overdue to make an appearance at the restaurant.

“Aigoo, Sunghoon-ah, it’s been so long!” Mrs. Kim exclaims, wearing the biggest and brightest smile that brings out the crinkles in her complexion when she notices two familiar faces. “And Y/n, it’s good to see you too!” She turns to you with the same mien still permanently plastered on her face. 

You bow your head. Her contagious smile has you mirroring her grin. 

“Come, come, sit.” She waves her hand for the two of you to follow in her trail as she leads both of you to your— undesignated but designated— table that you and Sunghoon would constantly sit at.

Before you even have a chance to pull out your chair, Sunghoon beats you to it with surprising swiftness. The aged wood scrapes gently against the floor as he courteously pulls the chair back for you. A warm smile tugs at your lips as you appreciate this chivalrous gesture, unable to contain a soft giggle of delight. 

Mrs. Kim watches the interaction between the two of you and smirks, completely out of the loop that you have broken up; still under the assumption that you’re both dating to this day. Who could blame her when in her eyes you were the perfect missing piece for one another in this world like you were made for each other from the start. 

“The usual?” She asks despite already knowing the answer to her question. 

“Yes please,” Sunghoon nods.

He sits after folding his blazer in half so that it can rest neatly on the chair's backrest. To add some fuel to the flame, he unbuttons the cuffs to his long sleeves and rolls them past his forearms so that they stop an inch below his elbows. The expensive watch that rests snugly on his wrist glistens, almost blinding you. You’re reminded that the man sitting across from you is responsible for an entire company under his name and capable of powerful things.

You gulp. You feel like you’re watching something you shouldn’t be and instead take an interest in the condiments that are pushed to the side of your table. 

Soy sauce, vinegar, napkins… 

When you think that you’re ready to re-center your attention onto Sunghoon once your racing heart has calmed down from its high, the taller has his eyes closed as he combs his fingers through his hair. His lips are parted ever so slightly and there’s a shine to his plush tiers.

He has to be doing this on purpose now.

You watch the way his Adam apple bobs when he swallows and you swear it should be a sin to look this effortlessly good in warm overhead lighting. 

You huff, a little too audibly for the male across from you to hear and his doe eyes flutter open. The sudden eye contact catches you off guard and you’re struggling to maintain yourself from the tension your mind is projecting. You shift around in your chair trying to find a more comfortable position.

This is going to be a long dinner.

After Mrs. Kim returned with your delectable dishes, the food vanished quickly as you guys delved into stories and shared the exciting highlights of your respective journeys. You and Sunghoon spent the rest of your meal at the table reminiscing about the past two years including the many ups and downs you’ve dealt with.

You learned that a month after your breakup, Sunghoon’s father officially stepped down, handing over the reins of the company to his son as the new successor. The ravenette confided in you, revealing that even though he had been groomed for this role his whole life, the transition wasn't as smooth as he had envisioned. The weight of responsibility felt overwhelming. Taking charge of a major company brought with it a level of pressure he had never experienced before. The expectations were high, both from the company's board and the employees who had known him since he was young.

As he grappled with the complexities of his new position, Sunghoon couldn't help but reminisce about a simpler life. He missed the carefree moments he used to share with you, the laughter, and the ease of his unannounced visits when he would turn up at your door with snacks he bought from the corner store and canned beer. 

Eventually his determination and drive to persevere kept him standing strong in the face of these obstacles. With his family behind him, a supportive workforce, and you in the back of his mind, he knew he had people to look back on and make them proud. 

You praised the older for his character development, gushing at his transition from uncertainty to confidence, while sympathizing with the initial troubles he first started off with. Being a chairman at his age is bound to weigh heavily on his mental and emotional health, and you can’t help but wish that you had stayed by his side through it all in order to be that support pillar he needed at immediacy.

“So, what about you? I didn’t really get to hear your answer yesterday.” Sunghoon asks.

You blinked. “Me? Well, uhm…” 

A bubble of insecurity creeps into your stomach. Your mind races through a mental checklist of your own achievements, or rather, the lack thereof, especially when compared to Sunghoon’s impressive journey. While your lives have taken very drastically different paths, you can’t shake the feeling that at the end of the day, the two of you are worlds apart from each other. He’s the chairman of a highly respected company. And you? You’re just a college graduate with a bachelor’s degree in fine arts. A pursuit that feels miles away from Sunghoon’s milestones. 

During the period that he was absent from your everyday life, all you managed to build was your art portfolio, which you eagerly sent to numerous galleries in a desperate bid to gain recognition as a struggling artist. Rejection letters became an all too familiar sight, each offering the same hollow praise— impressed but not interested. Those were dark times, where self-doubt loomed large.

Thankfully, your situation started to improve when you summoned the courage to step out of your comfort zone. You took to social media, opening art accounts on Instagram and Twitter, and sharing your artistic odyssey on TikTok. Yunjin, one of your closest friends and best friend since middle school, commissioned you to paint a mural inside a cafe she was working at. “I begged my boss for this to happen!” She said enthusiastically over the phone the night she asked you for the favor. Everything to you was a leap of faith, a glimmer of hope that prompted you to fully believe in the light at the end of every tunnel. 

In spite of your situation turning out for the better, it was impossible to ignore the inescapable sense of solitude and loneliness that clung to you like a shadow. It followed you everywhere you went. A mental reminder that, no matter how bright life was starting to seem, you still felt trapped and not completely content with yourself.

You convey these exact thoughts and feelings to Sunghoon in a messy ramble, hoping that this unintentional therapy session you’ve turned dinner into won’t scare him off. You can only hope that you’re not ruining the evening with a sob story of another art kid struggling to make a name for themselves in a society, where choosing art as a career path is at a greater disadvantage in comparison to your stronger counterparts. 

When you find yourself coming to the end of your rant, a wave of silence washes over the table, and you grab the nearest cup of water to gulp from. Ignoring the condensation that sweats around the glass and soils your palms. Your eyes look everywhere, purposefully avoiding Sunghoon and the tragic visage he’s probably giving you right about now.

“Y/n, look at me.” 

You raise your head, complying to his soft demand. 

“I’m proud of you,” he begins, and in that instant, a surge of emotion that has been suppressed for far too long wells up within you. “It takes a lot of courage and willpower to continue to follow a path you’re uncertain of.” The comment makes Sunghoon chuckle dryly, closely reminded of himself, shaking his head. “But look at you, you’re doing so great.”

The warmth in his voice, the sincerity in his eyes— they combine like a gentle storm, and suddenly, tears brim your eyes, begging to spill over. Your vision is splotchy and you refuse to blink, save for ruining your mascara. You weren’t planning on being an emotional wreck tonight, especially over dinner with your ex.

“I understand how hard it must have been dealing with those struggles alone, and I wish I was there by your side to help support you when it happened.” Sunghoon continues. He pauses to take in a breath before resuming, “But I’m here now… I’m not going anywhere, and if you’d let me— I want back into your life again, Y/n.”

A solitary tear breaks free, followed by another, and then another, until suddenly your eyes unleash a torrent of waterworks like a relentless downpour from a stormy sky. You hide your face in a handful of napkins you hastily grabbed, unaware that Sunghoon got up to move from his seat and slipped into the chair next to yours. His touch catches you off guard but you immediately relax as he guides you into his embrace, allowing you to hide yourself in his arms; your face tucked away in his chest. He caresses your hair, his slender fingers thread through your styled locks as he lulls you to comfort from your shaken state.

The two of you stay rooted in that position until you confidently and mentally reassure yourself that you are okay; you’re going to be okay. Your breathing has calmed down from its high and returned to a normal, healthy rate as your tears subsided and are non-existent.

No longer conscious of your makeup— a matter far from substantial to care for anymore— you wipe away the mess around your eyes. Black clumps of mascara and some concealer transfer onto the napkin. Seeing the stains garner a weak laugh to emit from you. Sunghoon cranes his neck to survey what you’ve become engrossed with. He sees the ruined makeup and laughs lightly into your hair. 

You’re thankful that there aren’t many customers dining in tonight and that it’s just you, Sunghoon, and three other parties who are far too busy drinking, conversing, and laughing amongst themselves to acknowledge the young couple tucked away in the corner.

Mrs. Kim leads both you and Sunghoon out of the restaurant with a warmth akin to a grandmother bidding her grandchildren farewell, her heartfelt wish for your safe return home evident in her loving smile.

“Goodbye, Mrs. Kim. Thank you, again, for another delicious dinner.” Sunghoon bows at a 90-degree angle and the formality stirs a boisterous laugh from the frail old lady. You mimic his actions, also expressing your gratitude for the lovely meal and free dessert she served to you guys ‘on the house.’ 

“When you guys come back I better see a wedding ring on her finger, Sunghoon-ah.” Mrs. Kim scolds lightly. You almost choke on your own saliva at the remark, coughing awkwardly to cover up your bewilderment. Sunghoon does his best to maintain his composure for the sake of the elder’s oblivion.

“You guys disappear for two years and still no diamond in sight. I was hoping some big change happened!” She clicks her tongue on the roof of her mouth, crossing her arms.

Sunghoon dips his head again in an apologetic manner. “You and Mr. Kim will be the first people we come to with a wedding invitation.” 

You whack the taller’s arm giving him a what-the-fuck-are-you-talking-about look, eyebrows scrunched with perplexity. The last thing you want is to continue to feed into Mrs. Kim’s false reality that the two of you are still a couple. Who’s to say that Sunghoon isn’t actually on the same page as you and everything is just a facade? I mean, sure, he’s been flirty here and there, bought you flowers, comforted you at dinner, and practically asked you to take him back… 

Your trust in Sunghoon has clearly waned, a result of your fluctuating self-confidence that leads you to confide in the pessimistic "what ifs." Your clouded judgment and self-doubt gnaw at your thoughts, casting doubt on the possibility of a reunion between the two of you. 

Sunghoon ignores the daggers slicing at the left side of his face and the buzzing pain you inflicted on him from the harsh impact of your hand. His digits dig gently into your side, drawing you closer to him. You stumble ever so slightly and flash an unconvincing awkward smile to the old lady.

You situate yourselves into the driver and passenger seats of his Hyundai Ioniq. You’re quiet when you pull the seat belt over your upper half, and for the first 10 minutes, not a single word was uttered from either you or the male sitting behind the wheel. Your mind loiters as you watch the building lights illuminating the dark troposphere of Seoul whizz by at 2x speed.

You and Mr. Kim will be the first people we come to with a wedding invitation.

Yeah right… You almost roll your eyes but catch yourself prolonging the idea of a hypothetical engagement and wedding ceremony with Sunghoon as your groom. 

Would he have gone down on one knee to propose to you had both of you remained lovers? 

You shake the contemplation loose from your prefrontal cortex. 

“Is it okay if I roll the window down?” You’re the first to break the ice. Sunghoon nods, his attention still focused on the road in front of him. Without looking, his fingers find the car’s air-con button to turn it off and he gives you the ‘go’ to proceed with your desire. 

The tempered glass descends and you’re immediately greeted with the beating rush of the summertime air. You giggle and rest your arms on the weatherstrip trimming of the Hyundai, your head poking out like an excited dog who’s riding in the car with its tongue hanging from its mouth. You close your eyes, taking in the wind that messes with your hair and brushes past your skin. It’s enough to transcend you into a different headspace, almost forgetting that you’re in a moving vehicle and not on some speedboat skidding across the water in Europe.

Sunghoon looks your way, unable to suppress the natural smile that lights up his face whenever he sees you. You truly are a surge of energy he needs when he wants to uplift himself if he’s feeling down. You’re his happy pill— so much so, that he wishes he could keep a chibi version of you for him to carry in the pocket square of his suits and let you rome on the wooden surface of his office desk to help him get through the work day. It’s silly and love-sickening, but Sunghoon only knows how to act a fool with you around him. 

His fingers drum against the padding of the steering wheel, waking you from your daydream. You hadn’t realized that you’ve already made it back to the city and are soon approaching your apartment complex. Your neighborhood is only a couple of turns away from your current destination as the two of you sit at a red light. You roll the window up, at least it was fun for the duration it endured. 

When he pulls up on the side of the street in front of your building, you try to find some lame excuse to stay with him for another minute longer, not wanting to say goodnight to him. You’re scared that this evening will be a one-off event and you'll return to your old ways, enveloped once more in the arms of self-isolation that consumes you completely.

Your grip on the door handle tightens. 

“Sunghoon,” you shift your view in his direction. “You don’t mind walking me to my front door, do you?” 

The male smiles with his eyes.

“Who am I to not accompany a lady when needed.” 

Sunghoon makes quick work to unbuckle himself from the driver’s seat and rounds the front of the car to open the door for you. He holds out his hand for you to take, which you generously do so, and grants him the unspoken permission to whisk you away into the levels of your residential building. 

The elevator ride is a close resemblance to the trip back to your place, however, there’s a contrasting atmosphere waiting to burst like a champagne bottle and spill over. Sunghoon’s holding your hand the entire way and you don’t resist the notion. 

When you approach your unit at the end of the hall, you fish for your keys that are sitting at the bottom of your bag. Sunghoon’s hand slips out of your grasp and you almost whine at the loss of his warmth and touch, but you know he’s only doing it for you to use both free hands to ultimately unlock your door. The click! of the lock coming from the other side is an indication that you can push past the door once the knob is turned.

You stand there, hesitant to enter your own home. 

“I guess— this is it?” You murmur tentatively to yourself and the taller. You rock on your heels purposefully stalling time as you force both him and yourself to stare a little longer at the iron numbers detailing your front door. 

You let out a rigged breath.

“Tonight was great. The longest I’ve been out of the house in a month, really.” You cringe pathetically at the confession knowing that a month ago Yunjin was the one who pulled you out of bed to get some fresh air and sunlight because you were hiding away like a vampire. "Thank you... Sunghoon, for treating me to dinner and spending the evening with me..."

He remains stoic and unusually quiet, making it challenging to decipher what he’s thinking or feeling. You wish you could enter his mind to get a glimpse of how his brain functions. You’d hate to seem pitiful for hoping that his advances from today were, if at all, genuine.

If what he said at dinner was coming from the heart.

As you contemplate what might be your last encounter with your 'the one who got away,’ Sunghoon astounds you with yet another trick up his sleeve, when he secures your wrist in his delicate grasp. Forever one step ahead of you, his lips collide with yours in a passionate fervent. The only appropriate reaction that you can give him in response is to return the kiss with just as much fervor. The strap to your purse slides off your shoulders and lands below you with a little thud thanks to Sunghoon’s antsy hands pushing it out of the way.

He cages you against the surface of the door, your back bumping into it when he forces the distance between your bodies to dissipate. Bothered by the tiny gap that prevents you from being as close as you possibly can to him. The only active barrier is now the layer of clothing he’s wearing and the tiny dress that nearly clings to your every curve. He can’t wait to impatiently rip you out of it and slip in a “I’ll buy you a new one, princess.”

Your hands find sanctuary in his soft hair. How you missed tugging at their roots when he’d go down on you in bed, on the kitchen counter, and in the shower with your one leg supporting your entire weight as Sunghoon made the other side dangle over his shoulder. Those positions are tempting, and biologically the flashbacks of your sexual activity with the male feed into the expansion of your slick that gradually soils your panties.  

You squeeze your thighs together. The pressure of your inner fat is an empty feeling of pleasure that you wish Sunghoon could replace with his tongue, fingers, cock, or all three one at a time. The male notices this cry-for-help and trails his right hand down the sides of your waist. He stops at the lace hemming of the cami dress, bunching the material to provide easy access to your mid-thigh. His fingers dance on your skin, traveling upward ever so slowly in an antagonizing fashion that almost infuriates you for his teasing manner in the heat of the moment. 

Sunghoon reluctantly breaks the kiss. The evidence of your already smudged matte lipstick has left a faint trace on his plump tiers. He buries his face in the crook of your neck, mouth ready to latch onto the sensitive area he knows best that will cloud every crevice of your mind with nothing but want and lust. At the end of this night, all that you will know is how to be his obedient cocksleeve like the good girl he’s conditioned you into.

The sound of someone clearing their throat on the opposite end of your apartment’s hallway is akin to a record player scratch. You’re grateful that the construction workers, or whoever built this place, designed the structure of your building to be a certain way so that the split-off point from the elevator wasn’t a simple corridor style where you could see both fire exits at each side. Instead, it was more so a wide V-shape. 

In other words, no one really caught you and Sunghoon in semi-public eating one another’s faces. 

You stop to share a quiet laugh with Sunghoon and ultimately enter the safe space of your flat, out of your neighbors point of view where they could have had a free, front-row seat to some juicy content. The door closes behind you, you can barely get out of your shoes and make it past the front step leading to your living room when Sunghoon’s haste to have you underneath the sheets with him in your bed has you stumbling backward. He catches you before you can register that you would have fallen onto your ass against the hardwood. His lips serve him well, contributing to the situation as a distraction that redirects your every inner thought bubble. 

Sunghoon casually kicks off his shoes, adding them to the haphazard pile alongside yours— the least of his concerns at the moment.

The kiss from outside repeats itself, and this time, Sunghoon can contently resume what he intended to do had another tenant not interrupted the mood. But the voyeurism exploration kink in him would have liked either sequence of events. 

His tongue traces a wet stripe up your neck, sending a shiver cascading down your spine. You dully bite down on your bottom lip, trying to stifle the whimper that is sanctioned at the back of your throat, trapped by a surge of lust and anticipation. Sunghoon’s mouth ghosts over the shell of your ear, and his hot breath tickles. 

“I wanna hear you, baby.” He slurs. “Don’t be shy on me now.” 

Sunghoon’s lips sheathe that sensitive spot on your neck, causing you to gasp. Your shoulders tense at the foreign feeling of his mouth on your body, and you’ve forgotten how good it was to receive a hickey. You relax under his touch when he gives the soft fat of your waist a reassuring squeeze.

His canines graze your skin while he sucks on the same patch, switching interchangeably to lap his tongue at the area when he begins to see a blossom of red and purple hues mix together, creating the prettiest bruise that would surely take more than a couple of days to fully heal. You groan when his teeth apply the right amount of force onto your flesh, leaving indents in their wake. His perverted mind relishes in the fact that only he is capable of marking you in ways that no other man could ever come close to.

He steps back to fully appreciate his canvas, that is you, and the absolute masterpiece that you are to him.

He leans in, pressing another kiss to your lips, this time with a gentler, more tender spirit, devoid of any sloppy motions. It’s delicate, a striking contrast to the heated lip-locking session the two of you were entranced with just moments ago on the other side of your apartment door. His larger palms cup your face as the pads of his thumbs caress the apples of your cheeks, making you feel loved and cared for.

Sunghoon lures your tongue into his mouth, clamping his lips around the muscle. He suckles at it, eliciting the cutest whimpers that he missed hearing from you since you’ve been gone. 

“Hnngh… Hah,” you pry yourself off of him, a string of your shared saliva connects the two of your equally moist lips. 

Your puffy lips shimmer in the moonlight streaming into your livingroom, as if the moon itself decided to play a starring role tonight. You squeeze his bicep, noticing that the muscle has doubled in size since you last touched it. You peer up at the taller through your eyelashes and Sunghoon has to conceal his primal instincts from fucking your throat with his raging hard-on. 

Your fingers graze the fabric of his long-sleeve collar, tracing delicate patterns across the black tie donned around his neck. Something about being able to witness a man up close in a suit never failed to provoke a flood of arousal from overwhelming your erogenous zone. Specifically, Sunghoon. It’s a shame— not really— that it eventually has to come off. With a deft touch, you begin to unravel the four-in-hand knot, a testament to Sunghoon’s meticulous self-preparation. The silk unravels, revealing its intricate texture beneath your fingertips. 

You assist Sunghoon in removing his suit jacket next, observing it gracefully descend to the floor. You briefly wonder why he's so nonchalant about leaving such an expensive garment on the ground, but he dismisses your concern with a wave of his hand. After all, as a chairman, he has the means and privilege to easily replace such clothing items.

You decide that it’s your turn to take the lead for once and initiate another heated session of sultry lip service. Your mouth kisses Sunghoon’s with primal hunger. Teeth clash, and you see no remorse for your hostility sponsored by pent-up sexual frustration and longing for some sort of relief that only Sunghoon can render. 

In a poor attempt to unbutton the last layer of clothing that shields Sunghoon’s upper half, your fingers fumble with the small disks that are fastened by the slits. You whine frustratedly against his lips once you realize you’re not making much progress. It is incredibly hard to multitask when your tongue is being manhandled by his.

“Here, lemme do it.“ Sunghoon mutters in a low growl. 

He tears open the placket just like he would to a bag of chips, and the buttons you were struggling to relieve him of pop off in ease, taunting you for your lack of efficiency at getting him out of his attire. He wriggles his arms free from the restraints of his sleeves and shrugs the apparel from the summit of his shoulders, allowing the ruined piece to join his suit jacket on the floor.

“Your turn, babe.” 

He twirls you around, your back fully pressed against his front as the tent in his pants pokes at your globes. The thrill of his length nestled between your ass spurs you to grind yourself on him, a staggered exhale of his hot breath fans the curvature of your trapezius, prickling your skin. The cotton material of your underwear cultivates a sticky sensation the longer you stay trapped in it.

“S-shit baby, you’re a fucking tease.” Sunghoon grabs your chin, forcing your head to turn his way so that he can seize your lips in an inconsistent kiss. Alternatively, it’s a tongue duel of him wanting to shove the muscular organ down your throat.

“A-ahh,” You moan helplessly.

He yanks the zipper of your dress. The item peels off of your bust, exposing your bare skin and naked torso simultaneously. You have to wriggle your hips past the remaining fabric in order to fully reveal your bare figure to Sunghoon— besides your damp panties that is.

“No bra today? It’s almost like you were expecting this to happen…” Sunghoon taunts.

“N-no…” You squeak, shaking your head.

“No? Use your words baby.”

You turn to face him, your perky mounds that come into his view are a sight for sore eyes. Even in the dark and scant amount of natural lighting from the celestial object in the night sky, is Sunghoon competent at reading your flustered features. How you manage to be cute yet look so lewd all at once is beyond his comprehension.

“I-I didn’t wear a bra because I thought it’d be easier to go without one.” You mumble, telling the truth.

“That’s better,” Sunghoon coos. He pecks your cheek and you smile at the reward.

“Eeek! S-Sunghoon!” You burst into a fit of shared laughter and giggles when said name scoops you into his arms, your body cradled against his chest, as your legs dangled over his one arm while the other supports your back.

“Just practicing when we’re both walking down the aisle at our future wedding.” Sunghoon jests.

Tenderness fills your eyes when you look up at him. He’s joked about the hypothetical conception of marriage twice in the night that you’re fully convinced it wouldn’t be all that bad of an idea. Given that both of you are ready and first rekindle the status of your relationship, of course.

Sunghoon grins. There’s a gentle kindness to his pearly whites, and you reach up to press a chaste kiss to his jawline.

He relocates to your bedroom. Gently, he lays you down on the bed, your body propped up on your forearms, bearing the weight of your upper half. With an unwavering gaze, you study Sunghoon closely, every detail of his expression and every nuance of his presence.

His eyebrows knit and meet in the middle, fixated on undoing his pants to escape from their restraints, followed by his underwear soon after. His stiff member rebounds off his lower abdomen, precum leaking from the mushroom tip. A satisfied exhale leaves his mouth. He stalks over to you with a sly smirk, towering your smaller frame when he crawls on top of the bed, his knees plant themselves into the mattress and his additional weight dips the space where you lay.

You whine when his length ghosts at the expanse of your inner thigh, suspense and arousal continue to bubble inside of you. Sunghoon murmurs for you to lay back. “Make yourself comfortable,” were his initial instructions before hooking the waistband of your panties with his fingers and dragging them below your legs. The undergarment was tossed to the side.

You nibble at your bottom lip and screw your eyes shut when a slender finger circles the perimeter of your labia.

“You’re so wet babe,” Sunghoon purrs.

Your breath hitches at the back of your throat when he slides his index finger through your inner lips, gathering an abundance of your slick to bring to his mouth for a taste. Both eyes flutter open in time to witness Sunghoon suck at the digit drenched with your arousal. The sight is sinfully lewd, nearly too much for you to handle. Your face reddens and you fight the inclination to hide behind your hands.

“You taste so good, too.“ He licks at his lips. “Wanna try?” Sunghoon cocks his head to the side, and you can’t find it in you to turn down his offer when he looks so innocent— yet acts like the devil himself when he’s overcome with lust. You nod your head with approval.

His duality needs to be studied at Harvard, you think in the back of your mind.

Sunghoon plunges his index finger past your hole, triggering your back to arch an inch off the bed. He chuckles lowly and watches as your hands grab desperately at the sheets beneath you to steady your sanity. The singular digit curls inside of you. Your unforeseen shock is vocalized in the form of a moan and Sunghoon repeats the motion several times.

“O-oh my god—“ You gasp.

The ravenette withdraws his finger and taps at your mouth, signaling you to open. You submit to his implicit dictation. Your lips encase his pointer, tongue swirling around it like a piece of sweet candy you’re tasting for the first time.

You bat your eyelashes prettily and moan. “Mmmh…”

“Dirty girl,” Sunghoon sniggers. He retracts his finger and you let it slip past your mouth with a ‘pop’ sound.

“Can you please give me your cock now?” You plead with a pout, doing your best impression of an endearing set of puppy eyes.

Sunghoon chuckles. “Let me at least prep you first, baby. How long has it been since you’ve had someone’s cock inside of you, anyways?”

You part your lips but close it just as quickly. To be candid, you've never been one to actively immerse yourself in the 'I'm single' scene. Your only foray into it was with Yunjin, roughly three weeks after your split with Sunghoon. The two of you ventured to a club, but it proved to be a brief endeavor. Within two hours, the fifth shot became a catalyst, turning you into an unending fountain of tears.

“Y/n?”

“Huh? Oh. Sorry…”

“I’m sorry baby. Did I overstep your boundaries?” Sunghoon cups your face with his right hand, his eyes scan yours, sincerity and concern laced in those chocolate orbs of his.

You stifle a giggle. Of all boundaries he could have crossed he draws the line at asking for your body count and not him fingering you.

“What? What’s so funny?” He asks.

“Nothing just… I think it’s ironic you ask me that now and not before we did all of this.” You motion to your bare bodies when you say ‘this.’

Sunghoon’s ears redden.

“But don’t worry, Hoonie.” You hook your arms around his neck and pull him closer to pepper his face with several reassuring kisses. “I don’t mind it all. Now can you please fuck my brains out!”

Your ex (whatever he is to you at this point) throws his head back to share a quick laugh, shortly pressing his forehead against yours.

Without warning, he buries three fingers in your pussy; your hips twitch at the sentience. They slide in and out without strain and together the two of you watch as he finger fucks your hole to “prep” for his cock. The squelching noise of your juices fill the room in addition to your moaning, and Sunghoon confronts a hurdle of his patience wearing thin, wanting to fuck you senseless.

His digits leave your hole and you whine immediately at the loss. Sunghoon uses the mass quantity of slick as a substitute for lube to lather on his angry cock. He shuffles against the bed, forcing your legs even further apart to fit himself in between them. The stretch burns your muscles but is soon forgotten when the tip of his length is rubbing your folds, occasionally bumping your swollen clit which generates a needy whine.

Sunghoon’s face screws with ecstasy when his shaft inches past your entrance. Your walls hug his length and he whimpers at the tight muscles that suffocate his erection. You squirm under him, tensed and breathing heavily. It’s hard to relax when seven inches feel like it’s splitting you in half after a long hiatus from sex. Sunghoon notices your discomfort and stills his hips from pushing further, allowing you the necessary time to adjust.

“Sorry baby, I know it’s been a while. You can take it, right? Like the good girl you are?”

You nod. He kisses your forehead, cheek, and lips to soothe your anxiety, using his lips as a distraction to keep your mind from zoning in on his cock. He seizes the opportunity to fit the rest of his length inch-by-inch, and you feel like a virgin all over again when the burn of his cock stretching you open is almost too unbearable.

“Sshh, it’ll be alright, baby.” He wipes away a loose tear. “I’m gonna move, tell me when and if it’s too much, okay?”

“O-okay, Hoonie…”

Steadily, Sunghoon recedes his hips, cock following in suit, just enough for the tip to be the only thing that your pussy clenches on. He snaps forward, your boobs jiggle at the motion and your eyes are rolling to the back of your head when he repeatedly thrusts at a steadfast pace. The pain you were once scared of is no longer a fear you have to worry about, as pleasure is the only thing you know how to feel.

“F-faster, harder, p-please Hoon.” You fight through broken moans to let your voice be heard.

“Shit—“ He curses.

Sunghoon’s fingers dig into the plush fat of your waist while his other hand presses into the space of your bed next to the side of your head. His eyebrows knit, focused entirely on increasing the speed of his thrusts. He continues to piston fuck your pussy, abusing your hole in the utmost gratifying procedure. Your thighs jiggle each time that his balls slap against your skin. Everything reminds him of an amateur homemade video he’s seen from other couples perform on Pornhub. He’ll have to ask you some other day if you’d ever be open to filming your own tapes to watch back.

“Mmh, right there, Hoonie.” You sigh dreamily, locking your legs around his waist and linking your ankles together. “You’re fucking me so good— Aah!” A high pitch squeal slips from your vocal box when his tip probes at your G-spot.

“F-fuck,” Sunghoon leans in close, relying only on one forearm to hold himself up from crushing you with his entire weight. He hides his face in your boobs, tongue flicking at the sensitive bud that hardens in response. He persistently thrusts deeper, his cockhead pressing against your sensitive bundle of nerves.

“Hnngh… Y-yes, yesyesyes!” You chant. Your fingers tangle themselves in his hair, scratching gently at his scalp and tugging whenever his mouth would suck or massage at your breasts. “You’re gonna— make me c-cum!“

Sunghoon’s unrelenting despite your warning. He can feel your walls clamping around his shaft, signaling your impending orgasm, and it taunts him to force himself deeper within your warm cavern at every jerk of his hips. Your hands fall to his biceps. Nails digging into his skin as your face distorts into extreme pleasure.

“I’m so close too, baby.” He groans. “Just.” Thrust. “A.” Thrust. “Couple.” Thrust. “M-more!”

“I’m cumming! I’m c-cumming—“ Your hips tremble with a frenzied urgency as your pussy pulsates around Sunghoon’s cock. Your mouth opens in a silent gasp and a long, impassioned moan escapes your lips. The sheer intensity of the moment leaving you incoherent and lost in ecstasy.

Sunghoon twitches inside of you. “Hah— you’re so— fuck!— s-sexy,” He grunts. Your head thrashes at the overstimulation of his length continuously pumping into you and you push at Sunghoon’s chest weakly, crying on his cock for him to slow down. You whine, whimper, plead for mercy so that your pussy can recover from the intense orgasm you just experienced not too long ago. In spite of that, he ignores your pleas and concentrates on finishing. It isn’t until white ropes of cum are shooting at your walls when his thrusts start to get sloppier and progressively come to a stop.

“Fuck.” Sunghoon exhales through gritted teeth. Both of you are a panting mess trying to catch your breaths as your chests rise and fall synchronously. The ravenette pulls out slowly and he groans when he sees his seed spill out of your hole, it closely reminds him of those hentai comics he’s read through illegal websites.

“I’ll get something to help clean you up.” Sunghoon lifts his weight from the bed but you reach for his forearm to grab him. You don’t have to say anything for him to understand that you don’t want him to leave your side. He brings a hand to yours, the pad of his thumb grazing the hills of your knuckles soothingly. “It’ll be fast, I promise.”

Not even 30 seconds has gone by when he re-enters your room with a damp cloth. He wipes at the areas where a mix of your cum and his seed litter your skin with sticky residue. He discards of the ruined cloth before joining you in bed where you welcome him with open arms. He plops down next to you and you turn to lay on your side so that you can get a proper view of his handsome face in post-sex afterglow. You reach out to gently touch his moles that adorn his features. The moles you missed seeing as the first thing in the morning when you’d wake up with him by your side. He grins lazily and cranes his neck to bring his lips to your forehead.

“Sunghoon…?” Your faces are merely inches apart from one another. Though the close proximity is not a foreign situation— especially after just having sex— you speak to him with a hushed tone.

“Yes?” He inquires.

“At the restaurant, you implied that you wanted to get back together again… Is it true? Do you really mean it?” Your lips are quivering and you mentally berate yourself for being so soft hearted in these types of scenarios where emotions are high, vulnerable, and transparency is called upon.

Sunghoon breathes shakily. “I really mean it. I miss you, Y/n.” He tucks away loose strands of hair that fall on your face. “These past two years without you have been hell. The first couple of months were so bad, I almost reconsidered being the chairman for father’s company so I could fight for us. Fight for you. I’m sorry if that part of my life got in our way as a couple, and I wish I had made more of an effort to be around you.”

You sniffle, “It wasn’t just your fault. I should’ve communicated instead of thinking I know better and that I thought what I did was for the greater good— because it wasn’t. And you’re right, the two years I spent without you were awful. I never wanna go through that again.”

Sunghoon loops an arm around your waist and guides your head to bury against his chest.

“We don’t have to.”

Morning rays gently infiltrate the room as Sunghoon stands before the full-length mirror in your shared master bedroom. His voice carries across the space as he greets his loving wife, 'Good morning, Mrs. Park,' while he meticulously adjusts his tie.

You stir in bed. The unwelcome intrusion of sunlight forces you awake despite the supposedly blackout curtains you requested when you first moved in with Sunghoon. You sigh in irritation. Dismissing the hope of another ten minutes of sleep, you push yourself upright, your arms stretching above your head, accompanied by a vibrant yawn. Sunghoon, amused by your morning ritual, chuckles softly.

“Still sleepy?” Your husband turns to face you after successfully finishing the Windsor knot of his tie. You blink away the fog of grogginess from your eyes and grin when you get a clear vision of your husband clad in his usual work uniform.

“Mmm… you’re so handsome.”

Sunghoon's face lights up with a genuine smile, touched by your kind words that always seem to set the perfect tone for his day. He approaches your side of the bed with a confident saunter and takes a seat beside you.

“Any plans for today, my lovely wife?”

You can't help but giggle at his endearing habit of calling you 'wife' and 'Mrs. Park.' It's become a sweet tradition between the two of you, a reminder of your loving bond that has grown since your wedding day. You twist your hand to observe the silver band that ornaments your ring finger. The diamond twinkles back at you in the bask of the light.

“I think Yunjin and I are getting brunch, then we’re going shopping right after, and later in the evening we’re gonna drink some wine and paint as we gossip about our husbands.��

Sunghoon laughs. “You’ve got a busy day ahead of yourself then.” He nudges your side playfully and you giggle. “Don’t forget to fit me into your schedule. Let’s go out for dinner tonight.”

“Cold noodles and ginseng chicken soup?”

“Where it all started.”

You envelop yourself in your husband's embrace, showering him with affectionate kisses. Starting from his moles and moving to both cheeks, his nose, forehead, and, ultimately, his irresistible lips, you express your love and absolute adoration for him with each tender peck.

“I love you, Mr. Park.” You murmur against his plush tiers.

His fingers delicately sweep aside the loose strands of hair obscuring your face, as he lovingly takes in every captivating feature, examining them with deep worship.

“I love you more, Mrs. Park.”

Two years ago you and Sunghoon sealed the knot in California. The ceremony took place at the Alila Ventana wedding venue, perched on a cliff along the rugged coast line of Big Sur. It offered a dramatic landscape, nestled amidst towering redwood trees, and a breathtaking view of the Pacific Ocean; the perfect picturesque backdrop for photos and videography. The outdoor spaces, gourmet dining, and coastal elegance were truly significant factors of your reception.

Sunghoon kept his promise to Mrs. Kim when the time came to send out the wedding invitations. Her excitement was beyond words as both of you entered the restaurant, radiating a newfound delight. Her gaze immediately fixated on the sparkling diamond ring on your finger— the same one she had scolded him for, which was now complete.

Come time to exchange your vows, Sunghoon's heartfelt declaration to cherish and devote himself to your love made it extremely difficult to keep your makeup in tact. Yunjin, your appointed maid of honor, had to step in to hand you tissues one after the other. The audience laughing to themselves at your showcase of emotions.

True to his words, Sunghoon carried you bridal style as he stalked down the aisle. Your families and friends cheering from their seats, their joyous applause resonating through the air. The warmth of their smiles and the happy tears in their eyes mirrored the love that enveloped you both in that moment.

Since then, life with Sunghoon after marriage was anything but dull.

[charmercharm3r]

fated circles

HJS

Masterlist

wc: 3.3k

warnings: smut, explicit sexual content, vampire!jisung x afab vampire!reader, mentions of blood, soul ties, mentions of death/dying, subpar world building that i don’t intend to elaborate on lol

☆ﾟ

He’s never been in love, he’s sure of it. He’s seen what love is and how people act when they’ve found someone capable of being loved. This was not that, it was never that. It’s something much more– in fact, calling it love would be an insult to each other’s very existence. What he feels is so far beyond, that he’s not entirely sure he’s even truly been alive until you.

Like most vampires, Jisung longed to find his mate. Unlike most, he didn’t bother searching. Instead, he sat and waited, the logic being that if both of you were searching then you’d be chasing each other in circles, it was better to stay put. And hell– it worked.

The day you found him was like his heart was beating for the first time in forever. Jisung wished it could’ve been under better circumstances, meaning he wished he wasn’t hunched over like an animal and covered in blood. It wasn’t even the good kind of blood, that of an alcoholic he found passed out behind a bar. The ring on the man’s finger told him everything he needed to know and decided that this would be dinner. 

Jisung could smell you before he could see you, your scent alone making him pull away from his meal to see the figure standing at the end of the alley– the light at the end of his cold, dark tunnel. Your hand was on your hip and a tilt of your head, already preparing to start scolding him on his eating habits. The thud of the drained body onto the pavement, less than a second to stand in front of you, the putrid stench of the tainted blood across his lips mixed with his saliva, you were sold.

“You’re making a mess,” you had told him, the faintest hint of a smirk playing on the corners of your lips.

“Then help me clean it up.” He’d thought it was charming at the time.

“Do I look like your maid?” You’d said as you raised your hand to his cheek, barely grazing his skin and his head leaning into it. The blood smelled nowhere near appetizing, sort of revolting, but you pressed your thumb to his bottom lip anyways, collecting some before gently pushing it forward without any necessary force. Jisung had let you in with no fight and fought the urge to moan at the weight of your finger on his tongue.

When you pulled away, his teeth lightly scraping your skin in resistance, “no… but you actually kinda look like everything I’ve been waiting for.”

 “Still can’t believe that line actually worked on you,” he reminisced on the moment, lying comfortably still beneath you. 

Not that he could see, you rolled your eyes, “didn’t have much of a choice, did I?”

Jisung laughed his ever so melodic laugh and held you tighter to his chest, “sorry, I don’t make the rules. You should consult with whoever wrote the vampire handbook.”

You sat up then, straddling either side of his slim waist and palms firmly planted on his chest. Jisung readjusted the pillow under his head and kept his hands there, gazing up at you with the fondest of eyes. It always mesmerized you how prettily they sparkled even in the dimmest light. “Your hair’s getting longer,” not thinking about it, you reach to brush the strand back from his face, tugging at the roots.

“That’s not what you wanna talk about.” Jisung’s hands reassuringly caressed your thighs.

“I always wanna talk about you.”

“And I love that. But ask me what you wanna ask me.”

Playing with his hair a little while longer, you let the courage build up to what it was you truly wanted to say. He let you use him like a stress ball, kneading and toying while taking all of the affection gratefully. “Do you ever wonder where we came from?”

“I don't remember the name of the hospital I was born at, but it was in Incheon–”

“You know that’s not what I mean.” His cheeky smile fell just a little as he relaxed further into your touch. All of his features softened as he read what he could from your troubled expression.

Jisung sighed, “I do wonder. I wonder what I would’ve looked like with gray hair, sulk for a little, then I thank whoever created us for letting me live long enough to find you.”

“I found you, remember?” You squished his cheeks in both your hands.

“And it took you long enough,” he replied with puckered lips. It was cute, you indulged him and softly met his skin with a gentle touch. How warm he was, only due to the ascending sun beaming through the window to heat his otherwise cold skin. Jisung sighed, holding you in place by the back of your neck to feel your contrast in temperature.

A slight twitch beneath your groin made you smile into the kiss, “I didn’t even do anything,” you tease against his lips.

“Do you have to?” Jisung giggled, playfully rolling you over to hover above your body.

He pulled away and did nothing but stare. Deeply, longingly, so full of sentiment that he was sure even the richest, sweetest blood in the world couldn’t make him feel this type of euphoria. You let go of his hair to trace a finger across his cheek, then thumb at his bottom lip the same way you did the first time you’d met. No intention other than to feel close to him, you dip your thumb into his mouth and swipe it over his tongue. Jisung closed his lips around the digit and watched the way your eyes darkened, though not necessarily with the lust he’s used to. There was something else you wanted to talk about, hoping to find it on the tip of his tongue.

Jisung hummed with encouragement, he knew you were doing this to keep him from speaking so you could voice your mind freely. “It’ll be one of us, sooner or later.”

Ah, that’s what this is.

“A hunter, a vengeful witch, some freak accident knowing you–”

“With’es ‘re ec’thinct,” he mumbled.

Pressing harder onto his tongue, “you don’t know that.” Jisung watched your eyebrows knit together for a split second before speaking again. “I’m just– I don’t know what I’d do… if I lost you.”

Slowly, he took your hand from his mouth and threaded it through his hair again, “they’d have to pry my undead body from yours arms if they plan to take me from you.” Jisung could see the anguish in your eyes at the mere thought of him being gone as he rolled you over, unable to fight the sadness from taking over.

“I’d rather die first.” As if all the air was stolen from his lungs, Jisung felt his paperweight heart squeeze like you’d stuck your hand in his chest in a lame attempt to resuscitate it. “I don’t want to know what it’s like to live without you.”

For the first time since you’d found him, he was at a loss for words– because he understood. He understood the hurt behind the fake scenario he knew was playing out in your head, as he felt the same way. He trailed the hand keeping yours in his hair down, brushing away the locks that covered your neck. As he dipped down to nibble at the supple skin, Jisung felt the wetness that fell. He kissed that away, too, all the way back up to your lips. There was no rush in the kiss, no urgency or carnality that usually fueled him. Rather, he wanted to revel in the electricity that never seemed to dim, letting it flow throughout his entire body and burned it into his memory. God, he loves your lips. 

He mindlessly swiped away the remaining tears, a gentle reminder that he was here, and by no means other than an act of whatever god is out there, was he going to leave.

You, to put it simply, wanted to crawl into his ribcage and wear him like a shield. You wanted to be so close to him that your bodies fused and became one, never separating. Even the clothes you wore now felt like too much of a barrier, all but tearing his shirt by the back of the neck and tossing it aside. You couldn’t be mad when he did the same to you, then with your panties and his shorts until there was nothing but skin keeping your still hearts apart.

Jisung wanted so badly to worship you when he felt your hips bucking up into his thigh with a slick coating. And although you would never deny him the pleasure of sending you to see god herself with just his mouth, that wasn’t what you needed right now. Quick work of his fingers, you were whining and clawing from his scalp down his back, there would’ve been marks if that was possible. A pop of his fingers into his mouth, moaning at the taste, you wrapped your legs around his waist to move him along. He was trying to draw it out, make you slow down and appreciate the moment. Though they weren’t fleeting– thanks, immortality– they were precious, every single one. The many, many times he’s had you like this are all his favorites, genuinely unable to choose just one.

“Be with me,” he murmured, eyes locked on yours and unmoving. You pouted, chest hiccuping with need. “Just be with me right now.” As much as you wanted him, you knew what he meant. 

To be loved is to be seen, to be understood, to be known and heard and changed. “I’m here,” barely a hair’s breadth of a whisper.

“You are, my loveliest. And I am, too.” Jisung kissed you again, a little more heat behind it now as he reached between your bodies to finally connect. 

The first push of him past your entrance is always relieving, yet spiraling as it makes you want more in an instant. Deep groans emit from both of you into the kiss, though Jisung doesn’t move once fully inside. He lets the warmth of your cunt radiate throughout his body and then some. “You’re here,” he mumbles once, and then again as his lips fall to your cheek. He doesn’t say it for himself, but for your sake. It’s grounding, the simple words, like because it’s coming from his mouth that it makes it true.

And when his teeth rakes over where your pulse should be, your body tenses up with a shiver. 

Oh, fuck being in the moment– you are the moment, and he’s inside you. There’s quite literally not a single thing that could compare.

Jisung sinks his canines into your neck, trying to keep from baring his fangs with excitement. “If you don’t move right now–”

You don’t get to finish threatening him before his hips are slowly pulling back and pushing in, slick sounding from your bodies with each slide. Your arms are wrapped tight over his shoulders, pressing him chest to chest as he attempts to keep himself in check by treating your neck like a chew toy. Not that you mind, the pain mixed with the pleasure is a gentle reminder that he’s the only one that could ever hurt you, the power he has over you.

He’s not timid, nor is he rough, though thrusting as though he wants to feel himself in your stomach. And he does, it drives him insane, taking a second from your throat to glare down at where he’s poking through your belly with each glide. It makes his eyes roll back and momentarily stutter. You use it to your advantage, throwing him to the side and frantically mounting him again.

The quick slide of your pussy down onto him had Jisung involuntarily bucking upwards, seeing the head of his cock so subtly bulge again. He almost came on the spot, if he’s being honest with himself. But you didn’t give him the chance to so much as catch his metaphorical breath when you began to grind yourself forward and back, swiveling your hips with a new kind of heat. 

In a way, Jisung was a little embarrassed that you overpowered him so easily, though not at all surprised. You took from him what he refused to give you, and it turned him on beyond belief. But it also made him want to prove himself that much more– not that he necessarily needed to. The grip he had on your hips now, you knew what he wanted to do.

“Don’t you fucking dare,” you warned, and an audible whimper left him. You couldn’t help a laugh because he was so damn cute looking at you like you’d hung the stars for him. Without the human feature of exhaustion, you went to town on top of him, moving your hips in circles for a bit before ultimately leaning forward and slicking your hips up and down. Jisung met your lips halfway to tangle his fingers in your hair and hold you captive. That was, until he thought it was time for a position change.

Although you were physically stronger than him, you were at your weakest when he was kissing you, too in love with the feeling to focus clearly. Jisung caught you off guard, flipping your bodies again and tossing you into the pillows with a yelp. “Quit fucking around,” his timbre dropped, towering over you again with a sharper aura.

Jisung handled you into a position he knew you couldn’t get out of, on your side with your leg hitched in the air by his hold. He didn’t wait to plunge back into your wet cunt, picking up speed as he decided to instead press your top leg into the bed and expose you even more. You could do nothing but claw at his arms and chest, crying out as he hit deeper parts of you. 

“You were so assertive before, baby. What happened?” He teased with a smirk. “You get a kiss and a dick in you and forget how to act.”

He wasn’t totally wrong, but you couldn’t use your brain even if you tried. Not that he was doing anything particularly special in terms of how he was fucking you– though it was still good as hell– you weren’t in the right state of mind since before you started. You were silently needy; physically, emotionally, mentally on every plane of existence, unable to put it into words. When domination fails, you succumb to being fucked the princess you are.

Jisung pressed his pelvis hard into your ass, kissing you gently whilst pinning your arms above your head. “Don’t you feel that, lovely?” His free hand trickled to your belly, pressing and nudging himself deeper into you. The whimper that escaped was enough for him to keep talking. “I don’t think we could be any closer,” he slid his hand higher to wrap around your throat, “don’t you feel me here, too? Is that why you can’t speak?” Your attempt to nod was endearing, kissing you again as he squeezed.

“Oh, I love when you’re in love. You do love me, right?” You nodded weakly. “No, no. You’re going to say, ‘I love you.’ Okay?”

Jisung pinched your cheeks together in his palm, lips puckering when you tried to speak, “love you so much, Sungie.” That answer appeased him, kissing you abruptly before shoving your face into the pillows.

“Yeah, you fuckin’ do.”

He leaned back, putting all his weight on his palms that caged your upper body against the mattress. Jisung kept one knee pinning your top leg to the bed and snapped his hips faster, harder, his version of mercy being that your hands were now free to grab him however you pleased. Did you ever need to, with the way you were almost being tossed up the bed from the force. His cock hit places that never failed to make you squeal and drool in ecstasy.

Prodding at a rather tender spot inside you, your walls clenched extra tightly around him, making Jisung’s upper body strength crumble. “Ah– fuck, fucking love you, too. Love you so much. Love this pussy,” his teeth found a home against your neck again, this time unable to fight the urge to sink his fangs into the flesh.

If you weren’t close before, you sure as hell were now. He scraped the sharpness over your delicate skin, letting goosebumps rise and your moans grow louder until you were begging for him to sink them into you. To claim you in a way that was reserved for only the most devoted of your species.

“Do it,” you pleaded with tears in your eyes, “for forever.”

Your reminder of how permanent this action was excited him, made him more desperate and more carnal than ever before. Drinking your blood was a sacred act that binds you together, the red string becoming a red knot made of a supernaturally unbreakable force. He dies, you die, and vice versa. Just the way you both wanted.

“Can’t live without you,” your voice, broken but truthful, he couldn’t deny you any longer.

“Won’t live without you,” Jisung corrected, and let himself divulge in the red taste of you.

Is this what heaven feels like? Warmth, safety, ardor, you felt every part of your being sync with his as your head began to feel light, body being overcome with a tidal wave of euphoria. The blinding white light behind your eyes faded, then there was Jisung. In every corner of your mind, every fiber of your body, he was there. What seemed like a vision of his hands reaching out for yours, tangled in the notorious red string. It was quiet, but something urged you to reach out to him and intertwine. You couldn’t see his face, but you knew it was him. So wonderfully strange, everything that was once a burden became insignificant as soon as your hands connected. What was once two separate beings became one, tied by the wrist.

Your eyes finally opened after what seemed like centuries. He was already looking down at you with pure adoration, stroking your cheek softly, just as out of false breath as you were. “I didn’t think you could be any more beautiful. I’m so glad to be wrong.”

“Why didn’t we ever do that before?” Jisung kissed your forehead, falling to the side without pulling out as he pondered your question.

“Honestly, I thought it was a load of shit– the whole soul-binding thing,” he held you tight against his chest, tucking your head under his chin as he massaged around the tender mark on your neck.

“So you felt it.”

“Fuck, did I feel it? I swear I saw us from some fuckin’ omniscient point of view. And can I say, we should do porn ‘cus we look good as hell.”

“Wait, what?” He had an entirely different experience, still supernatural, nonetheless. “You actually– what?”

“I’m serious,” Jisung peered down at you, not a single joking tone. “Like, time stopped. Or froze, I don’t know. It was a weird limbo thing, I don’t remember a lot of it. I bit you, then there we were… y’know. And there was something tied around my hands. I wasn’t really thinking– or my hands were moving by themselves. A– and you were there. I mean, I couldn’t see you, but I knew it was you.”

His words left you stunned, so different yet the same. You wished you could’ve seen what he did, but the indescribable sensation of his soul finding yours is irreplaceable. That’s how you explained it to him. Jisung was always bringing up how you’d first met, and you’d always say that you found him first. Except, he stayed still, waiting for you to make your way to his side of the circle.

The after effects of the intense moment left you mentally tired. Although you can’t sleep, you can close your eyes and let the comfort of Jisung’s arms soothe your lethargic mind. “Won’t live without you,” voice muffled by the skin of his chest.

“Well, now you really can’t, my loveliest.”

☆ﾟ

A/N: phew hi there. apologies for the silence. life. also, gonna be making an account for enhypen soon! so stay tuned for thatttttttt. probably gonna be mostly the hyung line, but im still deciding how i want that to actually go cus ngl i didnt rly plan anything out lol. anyway if ur reading this thank u! i appreciate u!

[schrodinger-swriter]

Hi! Could you write J, K, L, and Z of your Hazbin Alphabet for Lucifer?

J, K, L, and Z for Lucifer

Greetings everyone! Today may be a little odd and all over the place, at least on my end.. but I do see all of your requests and intend to try to knock some of them out today! Thank you for being understanding. C:

I hope you enjoy, Anon!

JEALOUSY:

He gets jealous easily, oftentimes leaving him feeling inferior and inadequate. He tries to draw your attention back to him. You know how when he and Alastor were butting heads he keeps trying to convince Charlie why he's better? It's similar to that, he tries everything to try to one up the other person.. He's not the type to take out his jealous onto you, though.. He becomes tense and a little bit wired..

KISSES:

He looks like the type of man who would enjoy dipping you down to kiss you, holding you in his arms while he presses his lips to yours... but also at the same time I can easily see him settling for a more casual hand kiss. Perhaps it's the royal aesthetic, or maybe it's his nature to do something within that ballpark... Perhaps, when receiving he enjoys kisses on his cheek and mouth, even more casual than how he treats you.. but sometimes small actions like that hit a little harder than ones based around grandiose.

LOVE LANGUAGE:

He loves making you gifts, putting his creative side to good use when crafting the very best trinkets for you. Often times.. they're apple or duck themed, however every now and then he shakes it up and makes something new to you. You know how some people collect those small yellow rubber ducks? That's what your room eventually looks like... As for receiving I sense that he might enjoy quality time... at least as an acquired taste. More than anything I want to see him and Charlie reconcile, perhaps you try to introduce him to some down time? Something meant to have him grow accustomed to something long since forgotten, turning into a bonding moment between the two of you. Maybe that's a dumb idea, but I think it's sweet.

ZZZ:

He sometimes struggle with sleep. Sometimes getting too much, sometimes getting too little. Most of that is because of the effect his depression has on him. Though, he's not a stranger to sharing the bed with someone. He looks like he would be a blanket hog, so it's recommended you bring a second blanket if you want to stay warm... though, his body is also.. very warm.. so perhaps you can cut your losses and snuggle into him. Occasionally sleep talks, usually nonsense. Dad snore. Not elaborating on that one...

[merakiui]

Hi Mera hope you had a wonderful day night!

I was wondering who you thought, out of the test boys, would be the most likely to try to steal you away from your partner? (Also can I be >_< Anon?)

Hi hiiii, >_< anon!!!! :D omg this is a fun question!!! I think these are the characters who would try to steal you from your partner:

✧ Riddle - if your partner is anyone from Octavinelle (i.e. the trio), Riddle is working overtime to find a way to get you out of there... T^T he will not have you succumb to the bad influences that are the Leech twins and Azul. Riddle has such strict criteria a person must meet in order for them to even be perceived by him as your partner, and no one's managed to earn his approval yet, thus your current partner is not worthy of being called your partner. Quite ironic how he's the only one who can fit into his own criteria. Perhaps he's just destined to be your boyfriend after all. :)

✧ Ace - it's for such a shallow reason, too. He just wants what he doesn't have. T_T especially if you're Deuce's partner. Ace just likes to be a menace, but in being a menace he unintentionally falls for you and now he's really determined to make you his.

✧ Trey - he does it so subtly!!!! You won't even know Trey's aiming to steal you from your partner when he packages leftover baked goods and sends them your way or when he texts you good morning/good night. He's just being friendly, but Trey knows the way to anyone's heart is through delicious food (his boy-next-door charm is just an added bonus). He's hard at work learning all of your gastronomic preferences so that he can effectively win your affections. That, and he's surprisingly discreet with his flirting (whether he intends to be or not).

✧ Cater - it really depends with Cater. He's so good at being a social butterfly, and he knows just how to pop in and snatch you away from your partner for fun photo ops. He just loves being around you, so much so that he may end up third-wheeling you and your partner. He invites himself into your life and before you realize it you're hanging out more and more with Cater than you are with your partner. But it's okay! You don't really need your partner anyway, do you? Not when you have Cay-Cay!

✧ Leona - he knows he's king in Savanaclaw, so it's absolutely mind-boggling to him that you'd settle for some herbivore at the bottom of the food chain. Leona doesn't even have to try very hard to steal you from your partner. He has such an enticing, confident energy about him. That, and no one's going to try to go against the Leona Kingscholar. You might as well start calling yourself (Name) Kingscholar now because your partner can never hope to compete with Leona. <3

✧ Ruggie - also another one that's situation-dependent. If Ruggie truly does like you, then he's willing to exert the energy to come up with a sly scheme to separate you and your partner. He's very good at it, too. Immensely sneaky. >:) you'll never even know he was the reason for the inevitable split.

✧ Azul - it's tako. Envy and greed are such a potent, destructive combination, and he wants you all to himself.

✧ Jade - he's willing to play the long game. Jade will make your partner wish they never even fell in love with you. He is so refined and ruthless in the way he goes about pursuing you while also pulling strings to slowly but surely integrate himself into your life. Your partner won't stand a chance.

✧ Floyd - he's quick with it. No mind games or elaborate cons needed. He'll beat your partner up and collect you in the aftermath.

✧ Jamil - he's doing everything behind the scenes, and it all comes together in a devastatingly neat package. Jamil keeps track of his lies, expertly weaving a web that ultimately leaves you ensnared and partner-less in the very end. You don't need to worry about details. Jamil will be vague and terse about it. :)

✧ Kalim - he does it unintentionally (or maybe he's fully aware of it). Kalim has so much love for you, so it hurts him when he sees how happy you are with your partner. :( he wants to be in that spot! He wants you to call him your boyfriend and he wants to be able to hold and kiss you and take you on dates. He lavishes you with extravagant gifts under the guise of friendship and constantly shows up to your dates. It's pure coincidence, but Kalim has a way of making you and your partner feel so suffocated because neither of you can ever get a word in with him. In the aftermath of your heartbreak, Kalim's there to pick up the pieces.

✧ Vil - ooooo Vil....... he has so much to say about your partner. So many critiques to give. He is the biggest hater when it comes to your relationship. It should be him you call your beloved, not that sorry spud who calls themself your partner. Vil knows his worth and that it’s pointless to compete when he will ultimately be the victor. He constantly checks up on your social media to see if that taken status ever changes, but it will in due time. Vil knows how to play this role flawlessly.

✧ Rook - it's Rook. If Rook doesn't drive your partner away because of how strange he is, then he will stalk you from the shadows until paranoia and dread nearly consume you and drive you into isolation. You'll spend less time with your partner because now you're too afraid to go out, lest you run into your stalker. Rook will come to collect you soon. He shan't make the love of his life wait any longer!

✧ Epel - maybe he's trying to prove that he can get a partner, or maybe he's just feeling competitive knowing that your partner has you and he doesn't. Epel knows he should be your partner, so he's determined to win you over, even if it means he has to act, Great Seven forbid, cute to achieve his goals.

✧ Malleus - it's likely unintentional. Perhaps a passing comment about how he's interested in you and suddenly all of Diasomnia is vowing to bring you and Malleus together. Whoever was dating you immediately breaks up with you when they find out Malleus is crushing on you. There are just some battles you shouldn't fight...

✧ Lilia - love is war, so Lilia might play a little unfairly when he finds himself enthralled. He can't help it for being so devilishly cute! Of course you'd fall for him and his adorable charms, too. Who wouldn't? He's old, so he has plenty of experience in the art of romantic warfare. He's determined.

✧ Neige - it is absolutely intentional and he's so obvious about it. >_< Neige is so obsessed with you!!!! He wants you all to himself, so could your partner do him a favor and break up with you so that Neige can have you instead? :D and no one could possibly say no to Neige! He's just so sweet and so famous and he could ruin your partner with his sheer influence alone. But he won't. <3 so long as he gets to have you hehe.

✧ Rollo - he disapproves of everyone you date. It doesn't matter if they're a decent person; he dislikes them regardless. Anyone who isn't him is undeserving of being your partner. Only Rollo can fill that space, and he fully intends to do so in his own little ways. You'll tell your partner that you're only joining the student council president for breakfast because you want to be friendly, but it's during these meetings where Rollo acts like his charming, cordial self. He reserves rare smiles for you and is genuinely upstanding and sweet. But only for you. And soon you'll fall for him. At least, that's what he hopes will happen. If not, he can resort to drastic measures. Anything for you.

[txttletale]

could you elaborate on your thoughts on boom and 73 yards ( i agree with you i am just struggling to put into words why.)

boom was whatever. the initial conceit of the doctor being trapped and having to stay calm was really cool! i really like that. the ambulances that euthanize you if you're not deemed worthy of medical care and the tacky chatgpt hologram ghosts were both really cool ideas. it just doesn't stick the landing for me, the twists are contrived and fall apart given any thought whatsoever. like what the fuck were any of the soldiers Doing if there just straight up weren't any enemies. it's a twist that sounds cool to say more than it has any meaningful impact on the story or the stakes. i guess 'the arms manuifacturer created a fake conflict' is the intended emtional stakes there but that would hit like a hundred times harder if it was an actual conflict between two factions and people were dying, right? like if anything sending a christian militia to blow themselves up tae fuck on a nowhere planet instead of presumably killing actual living people is an improvement, surely?

also the resolution was dumb as fuck lol i am a huge hater of power of love saves the day shit not because i'm a cynical misanthrope but because it never fails to make me say 'oh so i guess nobody ever loved anybody before lol' and this is no exception like if one chatbot can shut down the whole operation beacuse he loves his daughter are we meant to believe that no other parents or hell nobody who loved anybody else for any reason died in this fake war before? it's cheap and schmaltzy and unearned. anyway the first twentyish minutes of this are all-time great doctor who and gatwa/gibson were incredible in it but it absolutely falls apart into a confused pileo f some of the worst Moffatisms at the end

73 yards on the other hand was incredible! obviously like it requires you to approach it with a different mindset to most of doctor who, right, doctor who usually furnishes you with the big explanation scnee where the doctor says 'well the ghosts were actually particle wave vectorforms created with the necros radiation from the god-king's techsceptre' or whatever--this is the usual narrative mode of sci-fi--but 73 yards is fantasy, right, this is the twilight zone, this is 'wouldn't that be fucked up?'. i interrogate the technical and logical specifics of boom so much when i think about it because that's the language boom is speaking, boom is framing itself within this logical, a-to-b worldview, the satisfying click-together puzzlebox. but 73 yards is a nightmare or a folk tale, right? kate stewart¹ says it herself, 'when faced with the inexplicable, we make up rules and apply them to it'.

so yknow reading it that way it all clicks together beautifully, right, (apart from russel t davies' embarassing swing and miss at Political Commentary in the middle. we get it davies you wrote years and years. we know. trust me we know). the doctor and ruby disrupt the binding circle, free mad jack, and are punished -- the doctor, as perpetrator, with being banished (perhaps in jack's place) and ruby with her worst fear coming true constantly, until ruby defeats mad jack, re-sealing him and fixing what she broke, at which point the circle rewards her by reversing the punishments. and the core horror i think is very effective and unsettling! the idea that there is something that someone could say to turn everyone against you, the closest people to you in your life, your own family, the institutions that are meant to deal with the exact problem you're having--that's fucking terrifying! and yknow i think especially as an autistic trans lesbian something that speaks to me a lot

so yeah. i think that boom establishes its logics and framework and then trips and falls onto its face while 73 yards does the same and then makes perfect use of them. that said i think in 20 years people who are autistic about doctor who will be like 'did you know in the 2020s there were two episodes in a row where the doctor caused the entire plot to happen by stepping on something' and thjatll be the main thing they're remembered for

[pinkgy]

okay, ignore the previous ask, i can't be more blind and stupid (💀).

so, if it isn't a bother, may you write some headcanons about the kings (satan, mammon, beelzebub and leviathan) with a reader who's slightly chubby and dislikes their (reader's) body.

thanks in advance, dear.

–☕ (wishing to end myself after this one.)

Hi ! Thank you so much for your request and congratulations for being the first request that is not about sex lol I needed a break.

Here it is! I loved writing this request and I hope you like it ♡

It's a bit OOC in some parts (Leviathan), but in my defense, it's not easy to write fluff about them.

Also, I'm sorry if I didn't focus much on the body type part, I'm not a great fan of specifying the reader's body type, race, and sometimes even height, but it's okay! I tried my best.

Also, this is my contribution to the soft and sweet Mammon HC.

𝗪𝗛𝗕

𝗞𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦

"𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗦𝗘𝗟𝗙 𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘 𝗜 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨"

♡

𝗦𝗔𝗧𝗔𝗡

✮ He’s in denial, Satan has you on a pedestal and he genuinely cannot believe that you think this way about yourself, simply because it’s a completely different opinion than the one he has of you.

✮ If you dare to mention any discomfort with your appearance in front of him, he will laugh in your face telling you to stop joking about such things, and when you look at him completely serious he might realize that he was wrong.

✮ Satan genuinely doesn't have any specific body preference, in his eyes you’re perfect, all he cares about is that you’re healthy both physically and mentally. 

✮ Once he fully realizes, you won't EVER hear him joking about it, and if someone else dared to they’re dead within seconds. The same goes for you "jokingly" mistreating yourself, that's the biggest offense for him and the lecture your life awaits you.

✮ This situation would become a priority for satan, he's capable of leaving aside all his work just to do the impossible to make you feel better about yourself. 

✮ He gets very frustrated every time you talk negatively about yourself, and he feels sad every time he notices that you feel insecure about your body, Satan somehow puts himself in your shoes, and that makes him take everything too seriously.

“Stop looking at yourself like that, I know what you're thinking and I don't like it” He hugs you from behind "Let's talk, you're too pretty to be thinking those things"

𝗕𝗘𝗘𝗟𝗭𝗘𝗕𝗨𝗕

✮ He might believe that you’re joking if you tell him, and he also might jokingly tell you something like “Yeah, I don’t like your body either” Clearly no offense intended, he would genuinely think that you’re not being serious.

✮ Beelzebub won’t realize that his “Harmless comment” made you feel bad unless someone else tells him that he screwed up, probably many days later he will approach you and actually apologize.

✮ Don’t expect any elaborate apologies from him, he will tell you what is necessary. But after he has taken a long time trying to remember everything you said to him that day, he will subtly start looking for ways to make you feel better about yourself. 

✮ Believe me, Beelzebub is going to make sure you hear every chance he gets about how perfect you are, and in case he forgets to tell you, Bael is under strict orders to remind him. 

✮ He’s really supportive but he sucks at showing it, his main goal is to distract you from your insecurity by at the same time trying to not distract himself, and somehow, it works.

"And who said that being yourself is not okay? As long as that beautiful body of yours is well-fed and healthy, you are the hottest person out there"

𝗠𝗔𝗠𝗠𝗢𝗡

✮ He would get offended, but like, really offended, the moment he notices or when you tell him about it he acts like those Latina grandmas when their grandchild tells them they're gay,

literally him.

✮ He's never seen anyone more ethereal than you, how do you even dare to dislike yourself?

✮ He genuinely doesn’t care about your body type, your weight, etc, as long as you’re healthy he’s going to love every part of you.

✮ He’s an amazing listener, Mammon will encourage you to vent to him while he slowly caresses your hair, and every time you say something he’s not okay with, he kisses your forehead.

✮ He wouldn't think you're joking, the opposite, Mammon would take this really seriously, but like, too seriously, to the point where you’re not getting out of Tartaros without loving your body as much as he loves it, and believe me, that’s a lot. 

“How can you hate such a beautiful body like yours? Every inch of you is perfect and just looking at you feels like a privilege, so don't overthink too much please”

𝗟𝗘𝗩𝗜𝗔𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗡

✮ Leviathan will genuinely get mad at you, if he finds out, he will ignore you, and if you tell him, he will leave and ignore you too, but it’s temporary, he will get over it in a few days. 

✮ He kind of sucks at comforting people, but he can and will try his best with you, just don’t expect much from him, and know that he’s genuine about it.

✮ He will make an annoyed face every time you comment something negative about yourself, and trust me, you will notice.

✮ Leviathan has a very good memory, and he’ll make a mental note of every part of your body that you mention that you don’t like, and every chance he gets he will make sure to kiss or caress that part. He won’t be very obvious, but somehow, he will find a way to discreetly improve your opinion of yourself.

✮ He would hang anyone who dared to make jokes about your body, and would also hang anyone who complimented you, only he has the right to do that.

✮ And on those days when you feel particularly bad about your body, Leviathan will be sure to find a way to distract you with something else, he’s very observant so he wouldn’t need to listen to you to know how you feel, he’ll just suddenly leave his work for a few hours and take you to one of your favorite places, even if he hates the place, he hates more that you have a bad opinion of yourself.

“Get those thoughts out of your head, people should be jealous of how you look, okay? Don't be ridiculous”

[i-heart-hxh]

Hey! This is purely me and my morbid curiosity asking, but you mentioned you buy in to the pregnancy stone oops baby Gon origin story more than an actual mother. Can you elaborate, even if it falls with what others may have already brought up? I'd love to get your take! (also, I sent a review of your chapter 4 hxhbb fic, but I think it might've been eaten!)

Hi!

So, I do buy into it, somewhat! I think, for the time being, it's the best theory we have on Gon's parentage. There are a few interesting details related to it.

First off, Togashi included this woman with Ging in some of his early HxH concept drawings, from November 1997:

People have speculated that the woman next to Ging might be Gon's mother, however there isn't actually conclusive evidence of this--it's just a theory. It could also be an early design concept for Mito, Menchi, or one of the other female characters from the series, as the drawing isn't labeled with a name or description like some of the others. Or, she could be a scrapped concept even if she was intended at the time to be Gon's mother, as clearly this isn't finalized in any way.

You can read about this drawing a bit more here!

However, of course within the series itself we have no info on who Gon's mother might be, and Togashi did bother to include the Pregnancy Stone card:

Now, an interesting connection with this is that Togashi is known to have read the BL manga Patalliro!, as he based Hiei's hair off one of the characters, Scunky:

(From a doujinshi Togashi released, Yoshirin de Pon!)

There is also an unconfirmed but very reasonable theory that Killua may have been based in part of the character Maraich from Patalliro!, as the basis of both characters is similar and we know for a fact from the above image Togashi has read Patalliro!.

Now, how does this connect to the Pregnancy Stone theory? Well, Patalliro! also has mpreg as part of its storyline (with biologically male Maraich getting pregnant twice through unexplained means, with one of these pregnancies leading to a son), and considering Togashi may have used other elements from Patalliro! as inspiration... You can see where I'm going with this. I do think it's interesting he put the Pregnancy Stone card in the series to begin with, and there's also the Panda Maid card ("excellent at taking care of human children"), and Ging has used a panda plush as a substitute for himself in the Election arc. Coincidence? Hmmm...

Image taken from this post, explaining more about the Pregnancy Stone theory.

My personal feelings now that I've laid all this info out are basically... I've talked a lot about how intentional Togashi's storytelling is and how much attention he pays to things, so I think he planted this knowing people would consider it a possibility, at the very least. We don't have any other theories about Gon's mom that have this much to go off of. It's possible he will reveal more info eventually and either make this more likely or explain Gon's origin in some other, totally different way, but for now I think this is compelling--there are enough pieces that it is a legitimate possibility.

I'm not someone who is interested in mpreg (or any kind of preg, for that matter, LOL), so I don't spend a lot of time thinking about this whole situation or the mechanics behind it, but I do think it would be pretty hilarious if this does canonically end up being Gon's origin story after all. Just such a wild way for Gon to come into existence. It'll be interesting to see if we ever get answers with regards to who/where Gon came from, whether it's by Pregnancy Stone or not.

It's a fun topic because it seems so goofy and farfetched initially, but the more you look at it, the more it's like, "Actually..." 🤔

(And thanks again for the review, my apologies that it took me a while to reply!)

[kuijoon]

Sampo used to be a self-annihilator before becoming a masked fool

Note: this is a crack theory(?) (not even a theory tbh as I don’t really think it’s true and more so a different view on him)

First of all, this started with the similarities between Acheron and Sampo. Dark hair with white parts, dead snake imagery, diamond shaped pupils, leaving purple slashes in the air with their weapon, both nihility, etc. Obviously, this isn’t enough to warrant speculating about Sampo being connected to Acheron/the self-annihilators, so let me elaborate:

White hair: As we know, Acheron has a streak of white hair and completely white hair when she is in her alternative form. Self-annihilators are mentioned to “lose their color” as time goes on, which I think the white hair symbolizes. Sampo also has white hair, however it only is at the end of his hair (=he was losing his color back when he was a self-annihilator but after escaping the nihility and becoming a masked fool, it stopped- I’ll explain this idea more later on)

Snake imagery: As I think every Sampo fan is aware, he has skeletal snake imagery all over his design and it was even confirmed to be intended by hyv in the notes discussing Sampo’s beta design. Acheron possesses some of it too, albeit much less prominent: the spine thing on her back, similar belt decoration to Sampo’s, long spine painted (like that of a snake) on her sleeve, diamond eyes that could kind of resemble that of a snake (just like Sampo btw) and a spine in the background of her splash art. She even has a shoulder guard like Sampo, although it doesn’t directly resemble a snake and more so a vague bone structure (then again Sampo’s snake design elements are exclusively from snake bones). Other than Acheron, we have another known self-annihilator that features snake imagery; the one from the SU occurrence “Kindling of the Self-Annihilator”. Here, they are described as someone who’s a serpent below their waist, with dark green scales that give off a metallic glint- may be a coincidence, but for the sake of this theory I will choose to believe it’s intentional.

Besides Acheron’s and Sampo’s similarities, there are also a few more reasons to support this:

Aha saving a self-annihilator: In the Swarm disaster, Lepismat Part VI, Aha pays a self-annihilator a visit and they are described to have a “heartfelt smile on their face”, as if being rescued from the nihility’s pull due to Aha. Now, my theory would be that the same happened to Sampo- he was slowly fading away (his hair started to turn white), but then Aha showed up for whatever reason and Sampo was able to get out of IX’s shadow, becoming part of the masked fools instead when he realized the joy of life- turning from nihilism to absurdism, as the two concepts are closely intertwined anyway (hair stopped turning white).

Sampo’s in-game path is nihility: Now, if what I said before was true and Sampo stopped following the nihility, why would his in-game path being nihility support this? Well, I think don’t think that he has to completely turn away from nihility- as I already said the nihility and elation are closely connected in the belief that nothing matters, so still having sharing some beliefs would make sense to me.

Anyway that’s it for now (probably forgot something but wtv)

[kairiscorner]

miguel and grumpy! reader having a makeout sesh in the control room but then miles & gwen catches them—so they’re rly shocked bc they thought miguel and the grumpy! reader hated each other 😭😭

yes. yes. YES. thank you for the idea anon >:)) OK I HOPE THIS IS AS GOOD AS THE FIRST TWO LMAO......

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

(part 1) (part 2)

summary: you had a little outburst in the control room, it kinda ended with a liability on your part, but it was nothing you couldn't fix. you just hadn't anticipated that miguel would come to visit you, see how you were doing, and... maybe feel your lips up a little with his own?

word count: 1,061

"well, this is unexpected." went a husky voice that you knew quite well. you didn't turn around, you knew exactly who it was–and as willing as you'd be to hug him since now was the perfect opportunity, you were not in the mood for it right now. you didn't ask him what he meant by 'this' being unexpected, you merely focused on the repairs that had to be done in the control room.

miguel placed his hands on his hips as he watched you fix up the panels you took apart from the control room. he sighed as he approached you and ended up a few inches away from you. "now i'm not even gonna ask anymore if this was the result of a freak accident or an outburst, but seeing as how margo didn't wanna elaborate on what happened... i can only assume what happened here." he said as he placed a hand on your shoulder, and he felt you were extremely tense.

you sighed as you put down your tools and looked at him. you had a look of fury in your face, but when miguel looked back at you with concern and sympathy for you... your gaze softened a little, and became one of disappointment. "...i broke it, but i'm gonna fix it myself." you said as you looked back at the practically demolished control panel. you rubbed your eyes as you shook your head. "i'm sorry, it's just, everyone kept bothering me today, and i... i just wanna hit something. it feels right, but when it's all said and done, i just... i feel like i was being more of a bitch than i meant to be, y'know?" you explained with a soft voice, laced with regret and shame.

you had so much pent up anger and frustration, and the worst part of it all was that they were all directed at such small, meaningless things–or small, meaningless things in the eyes of others, others who would never understand how small mistakes can be so irksome when you try your hardest to seem so put together and knowledgeable about everything because you're in charge.

miguel put a finger under your chin and shushed you gently. "i get it. i get it, you... you sometimes come off stronger than you intend to. and you know what, that's fine. we're heroes, but... people tend to forget we're human, too. hell, we even forget ourselves we're human." he said as he cracked a small smile up at you as you still frowned a little to yourself, at the shame you felt over your outburst. "again... don't get mad for wanting to do what feels right, not when you had no intention of hurting anyone and, like you are now, more than willing to fix your mistake." he said as he held your hand in his own. you slowly smile a little and chuckled slightly at his comforting words. "got it, o'hara." you said as miguel grinned at you.

after a while, he was helping you the best he could at fixing up the control panel–helping you replace and patch up whatever was salvageable. miguel admitted to you, though, he wasn't the most specialized in the field of technology, but he was here if you ever needed anything. he did as you directed him, and in a few hours, you two were mostly done. all you needed help with was for miguel to hold something down as you were screwing it down, and he did so, but... he did it from behind you, now it's like he's caging you in his embrace.

"alright, the control panel's fixed." you said as you turned to face miguel, whose face was now centimeters away from your face. he didn't look like he had any desire nor intention to move out of the way, even when you repeated to him he didn't have to lean against you anymore. "i know," he said with a sly smirk as your lips instinctively parted for him as he moved himself closer and closer to your lips. "why... you really know how to make the best out of a crappy situation." you said, to which he responded with a chuckle. "i always do when it comes to you, so of course, mi vida." he said as he wrapped his arms around you, evoking slight gasps to leave your lips as miguel locked his lips with your own.

you two had each other's tongues mingle with one another, exploring the depths of each other's mouths for quite a while–with no plan of letting go of each other, what with you clinging on to miguel by wrapping your arms around his neck, and his grasp on your waist tightening. he sang praises to you in between kisses, intensifying each and every one after he pulled away ever so often.

you two wanted that moment to last forever... but it ended as quickly as it began, when you two heard slipping from outside the control room's slightly ajar door. whispering came from the hallway adjacent to the room, and you two let go of each other immediately.

"holy–was that... was that seriously them? and–"

"i thought he had no emotions..."

"did we enter the wrong earth, or are we seriously seeing the two most horrifying spiders of the world make out right here right now after... oh i think i'm gonna puke."

"why were they–and you–why are we–don't they rip each other's throats out...?"

"what are you guys whispering about?"

"peter!"

you sighed silently as you grinned up at miguel. "i don't feel like telling stacy, morales, or parker off today, and besides... we need the day off, right?" you asked miguel as you rubbed at the back of waist, eliciting small groans of agreement from him. he chuckled lowly as he placed his hands on your hips and stared deeply into your eyes with a smile.

"definitely." he responded to you as he planted his lips gently against yours again, feeling the smoothness and softness that were your lips; the heavenly feeling of your lips upon his was one he wanted to feel all the time. he didn't particularly care if anyone saw you two, though it did embarrass him a little... he figured it's finally time to come out with what this little arrangement you two have got going on.

tags !! @thecoolerdor @miguelswifey04 @binibinileonara @luvstarrstruck

[canmom]

dog day

went down to a local queer film thingy today and saw Dog Day Afternoon, in which Al Pacino plays attempted bank robber John Wojtowicz (nicknamed 'Sonny' in the film) who in 1972 ended up running a hostage situation and siege he really didn't intend to be in - someone who's a bit of a cause célèbre in these parts because honestly what's more iconic than robbing a bank to pay for your trans wife's bottom surgery?

(this is the real Wojtowicz during the event)

as a movie it's absolutely really solid. Pacino definitely does a fantastic job giving us a sympathetic portrayal of the increasingly harried Sonny trying to juggle all the competing elements of the robbery - reassuring his partner Sal, negotiating with the cops outside, managing the hostages. on a pure narrative level, it's a great screenplay, both full of escalating tension and capturing the humour of the unlikely camaraderie that forms between the robbers and their hostages. they get a lot out of the contrast between mundane concerns (not swearing) and the extreme situation, and it generally works really well.

the film portrays Sonny accidentally stumbling into being a folk hero - his televised calls in which he mentions the Attica massacre, and interactions with the crowd outside, becoming central the narrative that forms around the attempted robbery. it's compelling stuff even today - indeed the whole sensibility of it, the sympathetic bi and trans characters, the sympathy for all the characters, felt very modern.

speaking of, not really quite knowing the timespan of Al Pacino's career (I've still seen very few of his movies), I kinda assumed this movie would have been made, say, a couple decades after the robbery. so I was very impressed with how well it nailed the 70s period aesthetic... which turns out to be for a very simple reason, this movie was made in 1975, just three years after the events it portrays. which is wild to me, don't filmmakers normally wait a bit for it to be less 'the news' before they fictionalise the events? anyway it was a big deal in its day, scooping up a bunch of oscars.

this makes it quite interesting to look back because it really is a slice of how people felt about shit back in the 70s - as edited by the filmmakers of course, but every sentiment in this film is a genuine 70s sentiment by definition, right? the justified distrust of the police, the highly political gay angle, that's all shit we're hashing out today still. all these characters feel very much like real people out of their depth, and it's interesting to read about the process of filming it involving a fair amount of improvised elaboration.

anyway that all has the fascinating consequence that Wojtowicz was alive and watched the movie made about him. apparently there was a whole campaign to get the film screened for Wojtowicz in prison, which meant he could make a critique of it. as a result, he could write to the newspaper criticising their portrayal (via wikipedia). evidently the filmmakers took quite some liberties for drama - Wojtowicz calls it 'about 30% accurate'.

for example they portray him as still having been with his cis wife 'Angie' (irl, Carmen) at the time of the robbery, and add a fictionalised meeting with his mother where she is dismissive of Angie for weight etc., suggesting that it's somehow her fault that Sonny should go and do something as unseemly as have a relationship with a trans woman. as I took it, it's a portrayal of his mother's prejudice which the film broadly rejects - but in any case, all of that was just straight-up made up for the film, presumably because of the drama that the trans wife vs cis wife angle brings. in reality it seems that Wojtowicz separated from Carmen two years before the robbery, and he disputes her characterisation in the film (he's actually quite rude about the actress who portrays her, who to me looked like a regular-ass woman).

A third scene shows me speaking to my female wife, Carmen, on the telephone. (The actress who portrays her in the movie is an ugly and greasy looking women with a big mouth, when in real life my wife is beautiful and very loving wife.) I did try to call her, but the F.B.I. cut the phone lines and air conditioning before I could get to speak to her on the line. I did not like the horrible way they tried to make her the blame or the scapegoat for everything that happened, especially because of the Gay aspects involved. (...) First, the actress playing my wife, Carmen, made her look horrible and inferred that I left her and winded up in the arms of a Gay man because of her. This is completely untrue, and I feel sorry for the actress for having to play such a horrible role.

this is perhaps something of an aspect where values drift between when the film was made and the present. to us the idea that 'cis woman is ugly/unloving so guy is gay' is just laughable homophobic nonsense, something that the mother or the unfortunate estranged wife might believe but clearly not true - but Wojtowicz apparently felt that was a plausible editorial angle being suggested by the film, which he needed to correct.

but honestly it's Sonny's partner Sal who truly gets the short end of the portrayal stick here. he is pretty much set up with death flags from the early on - he's got greasy hair, he's taciturn, glowering, religious, kinda ignorant, and the one who's actually willing to go through with killing the hostages - in contrast to the charismatic, beleagured Sonny who definitely is framed as being in over his head and not likely to actually do it.

so when Sal's killed abruptly at the end of the film it's essentially framed as tragic but kinda inevitable, the only way they were going to get him to stand down. according to Wojtowicz, he was actually already immobilised when the FBI killed him, and Wojtowicz disputes that it was necessary to kill him.

the only photo I have of the real Salvator Naturile is a grainy police mugshot which is inevitably far from flattering! in this portrait he has somewhat similar hair to his film portrayal but the actor in the film is 39-year-old John Cazale.

the film has the main FBI goon (truly the most FBI looking FBI goon you've ever seen) warn Sonny that they're going to kill Sal; Sonny hides this from Sal as the group make their way to the airport in the bus he demanded, allowing Sal to be tricked into lowering his weapon so the FBI can suddenly kill him and arrest Sonny. the way the film suggests it played out, Sonny implicitly figures out that flying to maybe Algeria was not really on the cards, but makes an effort to keep the ball rolling all the same, to stop Sal from killing anyone and perhaps from some delusional doublethink hope they'll all manage to fly away in the end.

the real Wojtowicz was pretty appalled at this implication. he writes:

Now to one of the most despicable parts of the film. In it they hint very dramatically that I made some kind of a deal to betray my partner, Sal. It hurt me that the same F.B.I. who cold-bloodedly killed an 18-year-old boy can be depicted as having me help then. This is not true and there is no human being low enough in this world who would let the F.B.I. kill his partner in order for him to survive. It can be labeled as just Hollywood trying to sell a movie or just to increase the drama, but I call it sick.

Wojtowicz's trans wife Elizabeth Eden is portrayed in the film with a male name 'Leon', by Chris Sarandon. As I read it at the screening, the film portrays a time the line between 'gay' and 'trans' was far less clear-cut; Sonny is declared a 'homosexual' for his relationship with 'Leon', and refers to her with male pronouns despite calling her his wife. This appears broadly to be accurate: in Wojtowicz's letter, he refers to Eden as Ernie, and calls her his 'male lover'. He praises Chris Sarandon's performance, writing:

I feel he did it perfectly. If in real life Ernie had said those things and done those actions, he would have done them exactly as Chris did them. In the telephone scene between Pacino and himself his performance was unfathomable and a tribute to his mastery of an unbelievably difficult role. I was moved to tears by it because the realism was there and so professionally done.

the film paints 'Leon' as not supporting the robbery and actually wishing to escape from the increasingly erratic and violent Sonny - there's a compelling scene where they speak on the phone while the cops tune in. but is any of that actually true? Wojtowicz doesn't defend himself from any of that portrayal in the letter beyond briefly saying that 'some of what they both said ... were true statements of facts', even though they weren't discussed during the actual robbery.

all these inaccuracies notwithstanding, some good did come of the film for the main couple. consistent with Wojtowicz's stated intent, the film portrays Sonny as motivated in large part by paying for Leon's bottom surgery (in the film they call it a 'sex change operation', and the suggestion seems to be that Leon will only be a woman after that), and a scene near the end sees Sonny dictating. in reality, the filmmakers paid Wojtowicz $7500 for the use of his story (though he says they had agreed to give him more and did not honour that deal), and he used some of that money to pay for the real Elizabeth Eden's bottom surgery so... in a sense robbing a bank does pay, if you do it in a stylish enough way to get a movie made of you!

looking back on this whole thing nearly 50 years after the event... both the main characters portrayed in it are dead. Elizabeth Eden died during the AIDS crisis in the mid 80s - by that point Wojtowicz was out of prison and was able to give her a eulogy. Wojtowicz himself made it to 60, dying of cancer in 2006. both seem to have lead pretty regular lives. and now what remains is this movie, which found in their lives a suitably dramatic 125 minutes of screen time, where they could both come to represent something bigger.

most films I tend to watch depict entirely fictional events, so it's interesting watching a film which purports to portray something real. I end up thinking about all the ways in which turning it into film makes it artificial, simplifies people into characters. the way camera angles and lighting are arranged to inform us of a character's emotional state. the way the chaotic events are organised into a series of arcs of rising and falling tension, the rhythms of tense confrontations on the street and quiet moments inside the bank, the sense of space it creates between the outside (full of crowds and cops with guns where every movement is risky) and inside (where people can, ironically, play around with guns or have mundane medical problems). everything gradually escalating as new problems arise and their consequences play out - and all the boring hours of the robbery are elided, but still suggested by the changing costumes and lighting.

sifting through the chaos of life and making narrative out of it is what films do of course, and this film does it better than most, but it's weird to think about that. to try and imagine what it would be like to have a film made out of me, what dramatic choices they would make. biopics of 'great people' are well established, but this is a film about pretty ordinary people who did something kinda crazy once, and about the systems that they acted within.

very interesting movie, definitely holds up very well, much to think about. big shoutout to Small Trans Library for screening it, really looking forward to whatever they have for us next in a couple weeks.

[theoddest1]

with how the fans and even viv being VERY excited with the “visuals” of poison it’s was very clear that the intended purpose of having those scenes was for porn. Why else would viv be excited for SA scenes and make a cum joke? Not dismissing any SA survivors that felt seen or represented through Angel. I think the bar scene where Angel has a breakdown is good I just hate how they kinda swept everything he said under the rug for a musical, with the episode ending on a happy note and were told not shown that he gets better.

That’s why people kept bringing up moral Orel, silent hill 2 and tuca and Bertie as good SA rep because the abuse is NEVER shown were told or it’s heavily implied it was the aftermath that was shown, nurse bendy is hyper sexual in public but she secretly hates, is lonely and regresses into a little girl playing family with stuffed animals when she’s in her safe space. Angela is depressed/suicidal her only hope is to find her mother so things can get better but she never finds her mom and it’s implied Angela dies, Tuca and struggled with her sexuality and sexual trauma even feels ashamed about having intrusive fantasies of her abuser and thinks that after being SA’d but she is complete control of those situations and it’s her way o healing and even if she wasn’t SA’d she’d still be into those fantasies. It’s too early to say anything about Angel character it might change in season 2 and actually talk more about his trauma especially since the vees are gonna be more prominent (which I call bs because they said the exact same thing about Adam and he didn’t do shit, he only showed up in 3 episodes and he was so underwhelming plus he was the 2nd most powerful being in the show, idk what vox and Val are gonna bring to the table expect be stupid wannabe “mean girls”, plus lute is still around and she is by more powerful and interesing villain) but we have to wait and see, right now I’m indifferent to Angel he’s not a bad character but he’s not the best, sir pentious and nifty outshined him and everybody else, they were the best characters, and they were just joke characters

Viv is very, very obvious with what she seeks involving Angel Dust's character arc. She sees it as an opportunity to recreate a similar situation to Raph's animatic, a 3rd person view surrounding Angel's dilemma rather than Vox's. It's paraded around as though it's a tragic "Love Song" but there is no proper or meaningful way to convey the tragedy surrounding it all. It's an elaborate kink video for those who indulge those sorts of subjects. As you've mentioned, some other known media have handled the topic with much care and didn'tshow it, but this time around, this could have been a great time to make useful imagery to show just how awful the entire situation is. But we don't get that. All of it is glamorized in a pop song with neon lights and no subversion of one's expectations. The only time we are shown any blunt and saddening imagery is when Angel is passed around in bindage gear. The colors change and turn red, and we are faced with a strikingly blunt reality of the situation, but we then see Angel dancing in front of his situation, whiplash of the seriousness pertaining to it all. And while the pacing is better in this episode than most, it's still FAST.

So on top of everything we have a rushed pop song that's supposed to engage the audience in a mindset regarding SA to further think and discuss but it only aided in fueling kink culture and no one has had any strong meaningful discussions when it is about that entire sequence but the kinks sure are THRIVING! Imo, the fact that this side of the community got more outta this than those who love to discuss stories reflects on how unserious and sexual Viv saw it to be, and THAT is what makes Viv's shit representation bad. The remix only solidifies what I had assumed this entire song to sound like. It fails to be commentary, only fuel for a kink someone has, and NEARLY EVERYONE in the community is letting it slide cause of that.

[oshinohoshi]

Let's talk about Ai's decision in Ch 154

This is a reaction to some people saying that Ai was stupid in this chapter or that they dislike what this did to her character. I'd like to dig deeper for the sake of organizing my own thoughts on the matter.

This post is long so just skip to the TLDR if you want!

Ch 154's big reveal was that Ai wanted to love Hikaru. She wanted to raise a family with Hikaru but felt that it would be too much of a burden on him because "he was being crushed by the weight of his life" and was "on the verge of breaking." She also acknowledged that he was dependent on her. So she broke up with him in a harsh manner, believing he would be okay once she and her kids were gone.

Let's break this down.

Was Ai stupid for this?

No. Could Hikaru have handled fatherhood at such a young age when he was already suffering from so many emotional wounds? Probably not. It's not inconceivable that starting a family with the girl he loved could be healing, but he couldn't even take care of himself, much less two kids. This was a recipe for disaster.

We could say that the way Ai did it was stupid but I would like to be more generous than that and I'll elaborate below.

Was it unfair of Ai?

I think it was unfair to take the decision of whether he could handle the pregnancy out of Hikaru's hands. That said, if we read this as Ai also recognizing how unhealthy their relationship dynamic was, it's not unfair to end things in part because of that.

Was the way she broke up with him cruel?

Yes, and I'm sure this is why some people feel so negatively about Ai in this chapter. Ai claiming that the product of Hikaru's rape was too much for her led to Hikaru framing Taiki's birth as "something I had done" and stating that Ai leaving him was "only natural."

Still, Ai was not a cruel person. She was gentle and loving but she was also timid. Her coping mechanisms for handling confrontation were to bury her true feelings and put on a suffocating smile. She shouldn't have said what she did, but it was an effective way to make him hate her. She wanted a clean break to free Hikaru from herself and the twins, who she felt were a burden to him. She just didn't have the emotional skillset to handle this correctly.

And she was just a teenager!

As Oscar Wilde wrote, "It is always with the best intentions that the worst work is done." Ai's intentions were kind. Her delivery was almost comically bad.

But why didn't Ai try to get back with Hikaru when she called him or at least try to make amends?

Ai was confused about what love felt like and how to express it. We also don't know how she felt about him almost 4 years later. My take is that by the time she called Hikaru she had moved on from the idea of a romantic relationship but still cared deeply for him.

As for why she never reached out to make amends, Ai does avoidance like she's training to be the avoidance champ of the world. Just look at the short story 45510 where she explains her feelings to her fellow B Komachi members in an unpublished post on their defunct blog. There is also a manga panel showing that Ai had over a hundred unsent text messages. At the time I assumed they were all to the B Komachi girls but some could have been intended for Hikaru.

Ai's regret

Finally, Ai regretted this. Yes, trying to fix it 15 years after the fact is absurdly late, but her heart was in the right place.

TLDR: Ai was just a normal person, as flawed as the rest of us, who experienced hurt, anger, loneliness, and uncertainty. She was misunderstood by everyone around her and commodified by the entertainment industry.

She hurt someone who loved her but it was not out of malice. The extremely poor delivery of the breakup was inevitable given Ai's avoidant tendencies and that she was a teenager. Criticizing Ai without acknowledging everything that led to this point just doesn't sit right with me.

And finally, this panel broke me and I will be suing Akasaka and Mengo for damage to my heart.

[xaharadesert]

ASMR Artists (Modern AU)- Headcanon

Arcana Characters (Main 6)

A/N: I am so tired

❤️Julian❤️

Plague Doctor Takes Care of You (You Have The Black Plague) ASMR Roleplay

He starts his channel as a joke, but has fun with it and decides to keep going

Besides, a little extra income is more than welcome for a med student

None of his videos are serious; they’re all ultra specific and completely ridiculous

Minimal tingles, but people most watch him because he’s funny anyway

🧡Portia🧡

Hair care & gossip ASMR

No one knows whether the gossip is real or not

(It is, but it’s so elaborate that people assume that it can’t be real)

Teaches people how to take care of their curls

Pepi can always be heard in the background

Does lots of hair brushing and various styles; her videos are super calming and great to fall asleep to

She makes lots of compilations by request because most of her videos are on the shorter side

💛Lucio💛

Mukbang ASMR with super expensive foods

Only does livestreams because he likes to suddenly make really loud noises to jumpscare his audience

He’s mostly famous for controversies and being a troll, so the quality of his content does not really matter

A lot of people start watching him because he’s an attractive white guy and they’re willing to defend him to their last breath

Also gets a lot of hate watchers, but he still makes money from the interactions, so he doesn’t care

💚Muriel💚

Story time ASMR, usually beside his fireplace

Asra talked him into it, but Muriel ends up liking the sort of limited social interaction where he doesn’t actually have to see anyone face to face

He never shows his face, but he gets more than enough fans from his voice alone

He usually reads children’s books by request, but sometimes he reads longer ones for parts of a series

Ends up way more popular than he intended: people sponsor him to read their books in his videos, and he’s a bit worried he’s gonna mess up somehow

Sometimes collabs with Nadia on books with lots of female characters (she’s great at voices)

💙Asra💙

Soooo many magic roleplay ASMR series

Fairies, merpeople, vampires, sorcerers, etc, he’s done them all

Big fan of wood soup

Doesn’t do a lot of actual magic or witchcraft in his videos because it feels disingenuous to make up readings for a large audience

Usually adds a disclaimer just in case

Always has themed makeup, nails, and hair, and always looks gorgeous

Barely uploads because he’s got a dozen other hobbies, but when he does it’s usually a couple hours long

💜Nadia💜

Personal attention ASMR

Skincare, makeup, and hair brushing are her favourites, but she also does affirmations whenever she’s having a hard day

The videos are for her as much as they’re for her followers, since she’s super busy single-handedly running her own business

Likes to use her platform to bring attention to current world issues, and usually has segments at the end of her videos to shout out specialists and dedicated activists for her followers to check out

Preaches about mental health, but reminds her followers not to close themselves off from the world around them

[mizuhandpics]

sooooo I wrote a roommates au drabble based on this post. enjoy :)

special thanks to @kiraman for the encouragement hehe

contains: gay awakenings, sex talks, masturbation, akemizu <3

“Taigen hasn’t been around in a while.” Mizu’s voice yanked Akemi out of her fragile concentration. She looked up from her laptop at Mizu, who lounged on the opposite end of their couch, a book laying open in her lap. Akemi was momentarily stunned. Mizu never asked about Akemi’s boyfriend. Well, ex-boyfriend now. In fact, she was pretty sure Mizu had never even said his name out loud before now. She sighed and shut her laptop. 

She had texted him only a week ago, fed up that he stood her up for the umpteenth time. “Are you ever going to spend time with me?” Akemi had texted him. His response: “you know how important this job is, Akemi.” “Aren’t I important too??” A typing ellipses popped up on her phone screen momentarily, then disappeared. Taigen didn’t respond. Akemi texted again: “Fine. We’re done.” 

Akemi tells her as much, curious to see Mizu’s eyebrows rise at the news. Akemi felt a tidal wave rise in her chest, bolstered by Mizu’s expression of mild interest, and launched directly into girl talk, frustrations bubbling out of her like an overflowing sink.

“Like, I’m not that  upset about it, we hardly saw each other anyway, but it’s just annoying, right? Like, why waste my time if you don’t even give a shit about me? Honestly the only thing I’m going to miss about him is the sex. Actually, no, not even that! I was the one putting in all the work! I was the reason our sex was good at all! It was always me on top while he laid there like a dead fish. And don’t get me wrong, I like being on top, but not all the time! Sometimes I like getting pushed around a bit, you know? Get rough with me! Eat me out once in a while! But noooo, Prince Taigen just had to always act like he was too sore from work to do shit. Idiot! Um, Mizu, are you feeling okay?” Akemi took a breath, distracted by a flush darkening Mizu’s face, her eyebrows so high on her forehead they looked like they could fuse with her hairline. Suddenly self-conscious, Akemi stammered out an apology. “Shit, my bad!! I just assumed… sorry, Mizu, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” 

“It’s fine,” Mizu said, looking anywhere except at Akemi. Akemi’s eyes followed the pink of Mizu’s skin, which spread from her cheeks down her slender throat, disappearing beneath the collar of her shirt. She felt her own cheeks pinking as she thought about everything she just spilled to her quiet roommate. What was she thinking?! She hardly knew anything about Mizu, and now Mizu knew more about Akemi’s sad sex life than she probably ever intended to find out. Mizu coughed uncomfortably. “You could always… find a hookup?” She sounded hesitant. 

Akemi blinked at her, a small smile spreading on her face. She had expected Mizu to make an excuse to leave the room, to change the subject. Mizu’s (annoyingly pretty) blue eyes were actually meeting Akemi’s now, completely serious about the suggestion. Akemi almost giggled. It was sweet. 

“Ugh, there’s no way I would be able to find a hookup who would actually be able to satisfy me,” Akemi rolled her eyes, grinning in earnest, “I’ve tried before, trust me. I mean, you know men—” Akemi stopped herself at that thought, and eyed Mizu. “Or, maybe you don’t? You’re… gay, right?” 

Mizu actually laughed at that, the sound soft and light. She had a nice laugh. “Is it obvious?” Mizu asked, knowing it was obvious. “But I’ve been with men before.” Akemi’s mouth gaped slightly at the admission. She folded her legs up under her and scooted incrementally closer to Mizu on the couch. 

“Really? You have?” Mizu just shrugged in response, refusing to elaborate. Akemi breathed sharply through her nose. How could her roommate still be so annoyingly cagey when they were bonding? 

“So you get it,” Akemi continued, “Hooking up with men is terrible. They’re done in five minutes, and then have the audacity to not even be interested in round two! Even when they do manage to make me come, it’s still not satisfying, you know? Like, I can just keep going and they’re ready to tap out as soon as we’ve both come once. Like, are they not embarrassed?” 

Mizu seemed to sit back and consider Akemi as she paused to throw her hands up in the air in frustration. The pause lingered and Akemi felt pinned under Mizu’s sharp scrutiny. 

“Do you even like men?” Mizu narrowed her eyes at her. Akemi eyebrows shot up her forehead and her heart stuttered in her chest. 

“Wha— what do you mean by that?!” 

“It’s just a question.” 

“I mean, obviously, right? I’ve been with lots of men, haven’t I?” 

“Why are you asking me? Do you not know?” 

“Because— because!” Akemi couldn’t think of a reason. What did she like about dating men? She tried to answer the question, and her mind went terrifyingly blank. “What’s it like being with women, then?” Akemi frowned at Mizu accusingly. The woman had the audacity to grin devilishly, a fierce look Akemi had never seen on her before. It made something in her gut twist uncomfortably.

“Fun.” Mizu answered simply. 

Akemi could feel her heartbeat in her throat. Could she say that about any of her encounters with men? Was it ever fun, or was it just… a chore? Suddenly, Akemi felt herself wondering about Mizu. What did she like in bed? What did she find… fun? A hot flush rose to her cheeks and she stopped those thoughts where they were. 

“Yeah, umh… okay. Thanks for talking to me, Mizu. I think I’m gonna go take a shower.” Akemi forced herself to laugh, to distract from the obvious discomfort in her face. She scrambled to her bathroom, feeling Mizu’s eyes following her until she disappeared behind the door, burning a hole in her back. 

The shower head stuttered to life and Akemi leaned over the bathroom sink as the water began to heat up. She regarded herself in the mirror, frowning at the ruddiness in her cheeks that refused to recede. What the hell was that all about? Akemi doesn’t get flustered, she just doesn’t. She always prided herself on that, staying cool under pressure, having complete control over herself, her body, having the freedom to choose who she was attracted to. 

And she was attracted to them, right? Taigen was a good looking man, he was nice most of the time, he was never pushy with her. Akemi might have actually liked him, if he was around more. And he was easy. Her heart never raced around him, not like it was doing now, beating out of control. 

Akemi stepped under the hot water and exhaled shakily. She tried to relax her shoulders as the water soaked her, but she couldn’t get that word out of her head. Fun. Mizu’s voice rang in her ears, and when Akemi closed her eyes, she saw Mizu, sitting cross-legged on the couch, that fucking grin on her face, the mischievous curl of her lips around that word, fun. Akemi shook her head, shaking away the thought. 

But maybe Mizu was right, not about the hookup, but maybe Akemi just needed to get off, to let herself be distracted for a while. 

She dragged her hands across her own body, touching her skin the way she liked to be touched, her soft sigh swallowed up by noise of the shower and the bathroom fan whirring. Akemi bit her lip as she pinched and tugged at her nipples, sensitive buds hardening, stoking her own arousal. One hand dipped between her legs, stroked her clit, hissing at the stimulation. Her fingers rubbed slow circles around her clit and she leaned her head back, letting the hot water soak her hair and run down her face, cascade over her shoulders, roll past her clavicle and down her chest. She tried picturing Taigen. Akemi remembered the way he looked beneath her when they fucked, his lips parted and gasping as she rolled her hips onto his cock. Her fingers stopped moving as she felt her arousal wane frustratingly. She pictured him and suddenly it felt as though she were touching dead skin, all her nerve endings dulled. 

She breathed for a moment, eyes opening to stare at the ceiling. Maybe she should try something different. In the heat of the shower, enveloped by steam and curtained by water, she could try something different and no one else would have to know.

Akemi closed her eyes again and pictured Mizu. She pictured Mizu after she came home from wherever she would disappear to at night, clothes soaked in sweat and sometimes blood. She pictured the moments she would sit with Mizu on the edge of the bathtub, sanitizing and bandaging deep gashes on her back where Mizu couldn’t reach. Akemi could almost hear the way Mizu would hiss as she cleaned her wounds with rubbing alcohol, could see the way the muscles in her back would go taut to withstand the stinging pain. 

Akemi began moving her fingers again, rubbing firm circles into her clit. Her own touch felt electric now, arousal gathering between her legs, heat coiling in her stomach. She gasped, pressed harder. She pictured the way Mizu would put her hair up after a shower, gathering dark hair into her hands as she held a hairband between her teeth, long fingers taming her waves with practiced movements. One stubborn curl would always fall out of her lazy bun, resting gently against her cheekbone, softening the sharp lines of her features. 

She pressed her lips together, muffling a low moan as her fingers worked faster, feeling the heat in her abdomen build and tighten, encouraging her arousal with quick motions. Her heart pounded, exhaling heavily through her nose as she furrowed her brows, focusing on the feeling. Akemi’s other hand came up to fondle her chest again, tugging roughly at her nipples. She bit her bottom lip, and pictured Mizu sitting cross-legged on their shared couch, face painted in a pretty red flush as she politely listened to Akemi talk about her depressing sex life. 

Fun. Mizu’s dangerous grin, plush pink lips curling around the word. Akemi gasped, knees buckled as her release hit her like a freight train, her hand on her chest flying out to steady herself against the wall of the shower. Her fingers moved frantically as waves of pleasure rocked through her body, slick wetness covering her hand and the inside of her shaking thighs, mind going pleasantly fuzzy and momentarily, blessedly empty. Akemi’s fingers slowed as her orgasm did, and she panted under the hot water. 

Icy white panic shot through her chest as she realized what she just did. A fast, fucking powerful orgasm as she thought about her roommate. Fuck, she’s going to be so awkward around Mizu now, isn’t she?

She finished her shower, quickly soaping and rinsing her body as she caught her breath and slowed her heartbeat. Turning off the water, she stepped out of the tub and wrapped herself in a towel and wiped the condensation off the bathroom mirror. When she looked at her reflection, still dripping, breathing unevenly, she felt new, raw, different. 

“Oh my god, am I gay?”