#this didn't go as planned really but I dont really care
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#ok ramble time#classic this feels too intimate to share with anyone so everyone gets it#essentially last week there was a suicide on campus#he was not one of my students or in our department#I'm pretty removed from it#ans i really didn't think it affected me#but i guess it has#bc like i thought i was over#✨this✨#Like ok i have had active plans in the past#one of those this is how this is when this is where#just waiting for the final straw#but i clearly never did#and that plan would no longer work due to changes in circumstances and living arrangements etc#which is honestly probably for the best#bc i refuse to make a new one bc i know i do not want to go there#but im just TIRED and ANXIOUS#its not even the depression its the anxiety of living#i stay up until 3-4 in the morning bc i cant stand the idea of going to sleep#and i secretly hope each sleep will be my last#bc im not going to DO anything bc that would not be it#too many ppl care about me (unfortunately)#and then ive stopped eating (again)#and it's like idek if its bc i dont want to or bc i forget#its like i see myself self destructing but cant make myself stop#and I have not done anything physically stupid in quite a long time but ive started biting to stim#and i dont even know im doing it half the time it just helps#and skin picking. which none or this is the same as true s/h but it does scare me to a degree bc i dont mean to i just do it#anyway i don't expect anyone to read all of this i just had to get it out ot my head
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Me joking with my mom while cooking: aren’t you super proud of my cooking skills!! There's no match for me!! Im unstoppable!!
Mom in a solemn voice: but im really disappointed in you
Me: ????
Mom: pursuing your Master's degree, it seems like you no longer care about continuing your studies, it’s like you've frozen that idea.
#way to kill the vibe mom#she is still disappointed that unlike my bachelor's education#i didn't immediately jump to a random university and study whatever random major they gave me#even though i could’ve gotten a neat scholarship and studied something i really liked at the time#at the time i had no idea what im soig and where i wanted to go so i just followed along#but im not suffering through getting a master's degree for something i dont even care about#what she doesnt know is i have a plan. i have been following the plan ever since graduation.#if plan goes perfectly im supposed to start applying either this year or the next#she has no clue sometimes i stay up really late thinking about all the decisions i made and things i can no longer change#i dont want to do the same mistakes again#also its not like i can really afford it right now without a proper scholarship#i get she wants me to be the best at everything but the way she goes about it always makes me feel like a failure#mom...
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i uh. scratched my car pretty bad lol
#liveblogging life#the parking lot for my new apartment has a VERY narrow entrance#and uh turning into it is a little tricky???? idk why since i managed it fine so far#but today i think i turned a LITTLE too closely and ended sliding along the pole right by the entrance#and now i've got these long scratches down my back right door whoops#like. they're pretty noticable.#no damage and i didn't dent anything i think???#so im like. well i wasn't planning to resell the car anyway so i honestly dont really care that much#but on the other hand it's kind of embarrassing to have evidence of my shitty driving on display like that lol#and my dad's going to be soooo upset about it way more than i am lmao#i dont really want to spend a ton of money getting it fixed but they're definitely deep enough they'll need a repaint#i ordered some paint touch up & maybe i can just like... sort of help it so it's not quick immediately obvious???#idk man it's a bummer but im also kind of like /shrug about it too you know? im more surprised it took me this long to ding it lmao#actually i think i might have dented my car a lil bit bc the bottom right panel is like. slightly loose now#idk idk i dont really have the money to spare to get it fixed if it's going to be expensive so im kind of handwaving it right now tbh
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there's really no help for feeling suicidal when you're not in immediate danger
#like i guess im just supposed to wait until i am in immediate danger??#and even those resources are just to keep you safe. not make you not want to die#what the fuck am i supposed to do#being suicidal but not being in immediate danger really sucks#at least if i was like going to hurt myself in a life threatening way i could potentially die#but no im stuck here all because i dont want my parents to be sad#doesn't seem fair. i didn't ask to be born#i don't know what to do#how long can i feel this way and imagine all these scenarios until i do something about it?#i got really close a few nights while i was still at school#but every method has its downsides#i wish i could just not care about the effects my suicide would have on other people#i really just need to go for it#it's extremely selfish of me to say this but once i'm dead i won't care#i wish i could kill myself tonight#i wake up every morning and have to do another day. sometimes it's not so bad but i still just want to be dead#even while im laughing or snuggling with my bunny or with friends i still want to be dead#i want to kill myself#i think if i had a plan even if i was never going to go through with it i would feel better#like something to fall back onto. or just knowing it was possible#guess it's time to keep working on the pros and cons list of different suicide methods🤡#someone please help me#people who deserve to live and want to live die all the time but i have to keep living. doesn't seem fair.#the world is a really fucked up place#sorry for not adding trigger warnings. went past 20 tags and im on mobile so i cant move them around#i dont think anyone reads these anyways.
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oh no this reality dating show is really sweet actually. this was not supposed to happen. crap. crap. i didn't sign up for this!
#dammit! they're all flawed people in whom i am rapidly becoming invested! how dare they make me care about their contrived#relationship problems!!!#i was supposed to feel soooo above it all but now i want to see them grow up happy and healthy :(((((((#FUCK! SHIT! MERDE ALORS!#on the one hand the premise of the show is genius and perfectly tailored to avoid the main things i don't like about reality dating shows#on the other hand i just find it so ridiculous that anyone would go on this show that i can't take these people seriously#or i THOUGHT i couldn't! but now i don't know!!!#and they're all so young so that's helping me cut them some slack#one couple is 24 and has been together 5 years and i'm like oh babes. of course you're doing this. good for you. live a little#television#my posts#also just heard a guy use 'dont'. hand to god#the donts are out there. i'm not making this up!!#granted he didn't really say much of a word there...it was like d[rest of word is swallowed]#but it had to be dont just based on the syntax and the fact that it definitely wasn't duquel#anyway the show is called the ultimatum france#probably that is not the french title lol#i think it's probably l'ultimatum: on se marie ou c'est fini#anyway this was NOT how i planned to spend my evening. peeved at my sister and these complex humans and the world in general rn#how dare you how dare they &c &c
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Kamen Rider Geats episode 38 poorly summarized via memes with as little context as possible:
#kamen rider geats#kamen rider geats poorly summarized#kamen rider geats ep 38#the previews hyped up Keiwa's transformation#only to have it completely disappear#funny af#also gunning down the Producer?#honestly didn't expect her to pull out a legit gun but good for her#if Tsumuri can't shoot a man at least Samas can#that episode fr thought I was going to care about his “This isn't Reality Entertainment” speech and feel bad for his death#i am so sorry but i did neither of those things#to those of you who like random snacks man im sorry for your loss#im just standing here like 'there are so many characters and I just want the main four to be plot relevant'#neon come back to us baby#kyuun really walked up to neon with no plan#adds another point to the 'Kyuun is Twelve' conspiracy board#someone said they hope Ace creates a utopia dystopia and I am 1000% for this#let the core four interact again#i am begging#also if you dont see a 37 meme recap#mind your business david#i was too exhausted by Discourse to be funny#anyways hope yall are ready for next week
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just found out rascal (babycat)'s been with his owner this whole time instead of my roommate which is. something. :|
#if you dont know whats happening basically mr and my roommate (dorms) have been raising an abused kitten belonging to our floormates#we had him for a month and a half i think and then a month of break has gone by with my roomie staying on campus and me going back home#to my prey-driven dogs and snake and cat-allergic mother among other things. hence the inability to really take him in easily.#i mean shit. if she decided to actually take care of him instead of making everyone around her into free childcare then that's a good thing#*petcare#and admittedly both me and my roommate should've been more in contact about him whether this was going on or not#we both have really bad object permanence + flow of time issues though so it kinda... didnt happen#i thought about him a lot though. i planned on coming back early to spend a few days just chilling with him before the semester started#but other stuff got in the way and i had the 'its too late so dont ask at all' guilt#idk. it seems like hes alive but i don't know much more than that rn. it makes me nervous yk#but i never thought she'd just. still have him. i never expect what she does with him tbh#i almost feel better about getting stuck and not figuring out visiting or shared custody (in my house that is Not Ideal For Him) knowing it#wasn't even really attainable but. shit.#i want her to treat him like he deserves and if she's doing that i have no right to complain. he's not my cat. he's not.#but it means she'll probably just leave with him someday. no thanks or payment or future contact. idk i just. thought this would end sooner#in taking him to a shelter or a new home or us taking him in or her putting her foot down. but instead it's like im drowning in gelatin#what am i even doing. i love him. so much. and i want a cat so so bad. i want *him* so bad.#but i didn't rescue him and i didnt even try and. god idk. i love him and i still couldn't get my ass up to visit in a whole month#i want to say it's because i was stuck and it's not untrue. but i just. idk. i still feel like i shoulda pushed through or whatever anyway.#it makes me feel like im just as bad as his owner when i know im not. im not.#he's probably a lot bigger now. assuming she's actually feeding him. god. i really thought he'd be with my roommate#for reasons im not even gonna bother getting into. and i was reassured that my roomie would tell me if something was up with him. and she#didnt. and im not mad at her it's not her fault i didn't reach out when i wanted to know. but i feel just. ough. stupid ass situation i got#myself into. stupid sad ass consequences of being nosy and big hearted and wanting to help in stupid ways#at least her dogs didnt eat him. i was worried about that. i don't think i could take it if she got him killed and i didn't push harder to#help him. but i can't just fucking. kidnap him. he's not mine and we're neighbors and i can't even keep him at my home. not really.#god i miss him so much. i hope i didn't hurt him by leaving. fucking hell.#but he needs somebody and his owner is almost certainly not it. and maybe im not either but i want to try for him. man.
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google how do you politely and kindly say "bestie if you just keep refusing to talk to us and work this out we will have no choice but to end this living situation and move on"
#i just. i know their only option is to each individually return to their own mother's place#and i know their mothers are both abusive. and they could only tolerate living in their mother's houses together#but their parents have both said that only their child is allowed to move back in if they move out of our apartment. not their partner#so like. what are they planning to do here.#and we can't just ignore this until they decide they're not upset and then act as if nothing happened#god im getting so close to just lying and pretending i did do what they're mad at us for so this stops#but i didnt and i dont even really understand what they're accusing us of so idk how to apologize#bc i thought they were mad bc they thought we stole something but ig according to my hgf#gf*#who is the one they texted in the first place#they're mad bc they think we used something in their medicine cabinet without asking and then just left it on the counter#and they specifically said 'i know it was one of you because me and my partner are in the habit of putting things back where they go'#and we didn't want to fucking shade their partner but like. they in fact are not in the habit of putting things back where they go#and the thing they accused us of is stealing their fucking vaporub and their partner is the only one of us sick rn!#so idk wtf is going on but i am actually so so sad about this#these are like my only friends in the world and it feels so fucking awful to have them be mad at me#and there seems to be nothing i can do to even attempt to fix it and that feels even worse#and idk how im gonna feel if its somehow revealed that one of our roommates is blaming stuff on us to their partner#i just. idk man i would never fucking do that#it just really makes me feel like they never really cared about us that much to begin with for this to be our current situation#so yea. i guess if they're just not willing to work on this at all i will be moving in a month or two
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ahh.. I have tickets for a small music festival tmr which I went to last year + had a whale of a time but this year theres only like 2 artists I wanted to see but they released the schedule a couple days ago and neither are playing before 9:30pm. since I don't live local anymore I'd have to leave to travel back home around that time or I'd miss the last train... and there's not rly anywhere I can crash overnight there (and I was planning on going alone anyway like I did last year). so I think im gonna have to let this one pass me by :-(
#its not the end of the world like theyre not artists i LOVE love just ones i know and like a few tracks of#last year i had so much fun bc one of the artists there was an all time fave of mine. but yeah im not missing out on that this year#but its still a shame. i miss living there and being able to walk to gigs to easily like the music scene was so up my street!!#and i was kind of looking forward to it. but i shouldve planned it further in advance if i was serious abt going#i just didnt think theyd BOTH play so late???? i swear they had an earlier schedule last year#i guess i could just go and mill around some of the shows earlier in the day even tho ive skimmed most of them on spotify and theyre-#not rly my thing. sigh#im v tired + starting to feel quite sad this evening for some specific reasons i dont really want to think much about bc it is what it is#so its hard to imagine going out and having fun tomorrow. maybe ill just aim to get my chores done instead and see how i feel after that#i might fix my bike up and check the other local climbing gym out bc i havent visited that one before and itd be nice to mix it up#and i need to go out on the bike at some point this weekend so i dont build up anxiety abt it after yesterdays crash. hmm#man. its hard trying to do things solely for my own enjoyment sometimes. im usually pretty ok at making myself do it#and im grateful that i am! but i think im just feeling quite lonely. and not in a way where being around other people rly helps#like its more of a core thing. i feel kind of unseen by people in my life at the moment and that makes me feel like im not quite real#and i dont really know what to do about that. i think its why im still on my discord hiatus i just dont really have anything to say rn#ive felt this intermittently throughout a lot my life i think. but most of the time i can distract myself from it enough not to notice it#and i put the effort in socially regardless + usually when im in the moment it doesnt matter. but the stretches inbetween those moments..#its not unbearable and i dont feel that depressed at the moment either. just a bit lost i guess. i know itll pass eventually#but yeah it just keeps nudging up against me bc im feeling every little misunderstanding and slight quite keenly atm#ahh.. well its okay. ive never really needed much anyway im good at taking care of myself and thats enough to get by#ill do something nice for myself this weekend one way or another. im gonna go take a long shower rn i think and then read a bit#ah and i said i didn't rly want to think about it! but i guess i did... well i feel like i exist a little more for typing it out anyway#okay yes shower time now :-)#.diaries#maybe someday ill have ppl in my everyday life who i do feel seen + safe around. a girl can dream.. i have a lot of work to do before then
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#gods#im .. in trouble this semester#which sucks bc i was doing so much better last semester#i stopped going to therapy!!#which i think i knew at the time was a Problem#but my therapist suggested it and i didn't want to but i couldn't come up with a better reason than im worried ill nosedive next semester#to be fair to me while i was feeling so much better i knew i wasnt .. stable i guess?#in her defense i can't tell anyone the whole truth even if my life was on the line#and by cant i mean some combination of wont dont want to and its instinctive#but the problem is im failing one of my classes and im at least a little bit suicidal and i havent told anyone really and gods i feel lonely#(and by a little bit suicidal i mean thinking of ways to kill myself 2 days ago. im feeling better now but i don't trust it)#(by feeling better i mean im not Actively thinking of methods but it definitely crosses my mind as a Possibility)#(although i guess its a bit less i want to die and a bit more i want someone to find me before i die and help me)#so anyways this semester might be replacing 10th grade as the worst year of my life#im just.. so tired#i don't want to keep living like this#and im sucking it up and making myself do better but i Hate this#and ive got to think about summer plans bc i don't want to go back to my parents house but i also Really want to bc i can see my brother and#maybe i can see my friends(?) and maybe if i tell my parents everything that's been going on theyll take care of me?#but i Really want to stay here bc i always regret going home and bc ive gotten used to living on my own and i really like all the freedom it#gives me?? but i need to get an internship or a job or something if i want to stay here but its So Late and now that im thinking about it im#worried that ill be so isolated here that ill feel worse? but if i get a therapist here then maybe itll be okay??#i don't know#and im almost done with my junior year and i don't know what i want to do with my future and#i just never thought id get this far yknow? i honestly thought i wasnt going to make it to 18 or college and now im almost 21 and so close#to graduating?? and i don't know how to face the rest of my life#im just tired and stressed and depressed#i just want a hug and a friend that i can tell everything to#ne ways im just tired and whiny and i need to suck it up and get groceries and do my hw
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#lifes been a mess af post corona. developed social anxiety AND few personal reasons why i didnt want to meet or ask anyone#i loved my friends i still do but earlier it was like I'd always mAke plans idc if u dont want to but im gonna ask cos ily & i want to see u#i was mad at a friend cos she was coming to meet and then that very morning her dog died and she had to cancel which meant ive#had to wait few more days to see her where ive already had to wait a year cos of lockdown#so what i meant to say is id physically be sad if i didn't meet my friends#but then smth happened which made me shut myself down completely#cos if i go and ask how are you or ask to meet ive to tell them about my life and listen about how well they're handling it ..that thought#made me anxious. i just couldn't check upon them cos i was fucked myself and also didnt want anyone to check upon me#few of the people reached me past few weeks and i felt bad for not meeting them cos i genuinely cared so much about them for long#this anxiety and shit costed me relationships#so lately ive been trying to reach out and speak to people making plans to meet. ik they'll understand my situation and if they dont ive#no option but to let them go#which i had to and was brutal but i did#anyways this has been weighing on me for so long#but really i love ny friends and i hope i get to be a better friend to them#im glad ive few friends and my family or idk what I'd have done#shreya's diary
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Hi☺️ I really like your headcanons, and was interested if you would like to write a one where LADS boys hurt the reader with their Evol (not on purpose, accidentally).
Maybe it could be angst a bit? If you okay with it ( ・_・)♡
ngl i lowkey still dont understand how xavs evol works so his is ia little funny rather than angst bc he teleported funny :(
Zayne didn't realise that his Evol had been acting up so badly. He could feel the chill of it crawling up his body but he had no idea he struck you until he hears your gasp from the door of his office. His eyes are wide as he ignores the ice in his veins.
You try to tell him not to worry, that he needs to focus on himself because clearly his Evol is acting up again but he can't be bothered right now. He's immediately looking over the injury, making sure that it's just superficial. If he actually hurt you he'd never forgive himself. You have to convince him that everything is okay, take his hands into your face and slow him down just a bit until he can see you again.
He buries his face into your neck, holding you tightly as he promises he'll never do it again. You have to tell him over and over again that you know it was an accident. It doesn't matter though - he'll never forgive himself. He's always extra careful with his Evol around you from now on, terrified he'll hurt you again.
He wasn't paying attention when he teleported in, almost knocking you over because you didn't expect to see him there. You laugh, the pain being pretty minimal so it was fine but he is not happy about it to say the least. He's not mad at you at all - he's very upset with himself for not being more careful with you.
He keeps his eye on you for the next little while, worried that he actually did hurt you but you're just worried of hurting his feelings so you won't actually tell him what's wrong. He tries to subtly check your body, making sure there really aren't any bruises on you.
Now whenever he teleports somewhere you are he makes it a point to text or call you ahead of time to make sure you aren't where he plans to be. If you don't answer then he'll just teleport somewhere he knows you aren't to make sure he doesn't hurt you.
Rafayel didn't see you come in when he started using his Evol for a painting. He just wanted to give it a bit of a burned affect, flames encompassing his studio just long enough for you to sustain a burn. It's not bad thankfully, nothing you couldn't handle but Rafayel is devasted you're hurt in the first place.
He's on you in an instant, used to getting burns himself from when he's overzealous with his fire Evol. He's got tons of salves and gauze for you as he carefully takes care of your burn. He wants to take you to see a doctor but you convince him not to - the burn is already feeling a lot better but he doesn't seem convinced.
He beats himself up for what feels like forever, fully blaming himself for your injury. He knows that if he was more careful with his flames he wouldn't have hurt you and there's no talking him out of it. You can only try to comfort him, spending time with him and trying your best to reassure him.
Sylus didn't think that you were going to barge into his meeting, having something important to tell him as he pulled his hand back. He ends up accidentally grabbing you, squeezing a touch too tight before you're let go. An angry looking welt is left on your skin and Sylus is immediately by you, inspecting it as he apologises.
You can't hear the panic in his voice but you can see it in his eyes, the way his hands quickly move over your body as he tries to figure out if he broke anything. Thankfully he didn't and you're just sore. The second you tell him that he finds you an ointment and starts massaging the muscle. He doesn't say much other than the apologies at the start but it's because he's fully focused on making sure you're okay. It would be adorable if you weren't worried about how concerned he is.
He doesn't say much for a while, mad at himself for not noticing you coming into the room. You have to fill the silence, trying your best to soothe him. It'll really take a long time for him to stop treating you like glass.
#love and deepspace x reader#l&ds x reader#zayne x reader#xavier x reader#rafayel x reader#sylus x reader#l&ds zayne x reader#l&ds xavier#l&ds rafayel x reader#l&ds sylus x reader#lads zayne x reader#lads xavier x reader#lads rafayel x reader#lads sylus x reader#lnds zayne x reader#lnds xavier x reader#lnds rafayel x reader#lnds sylus x reader
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Negotiating with Mr. H - pt. 2
a/n: part two to this
god im such a shluuuut for this man anyhow happy reading
‧₊˚ ✩°。⋆♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡⋆。°✩˚₊‧
pairings: aaron hotchner x fem!nanny!reader
warnings: 18+ mdni, unprotected p in v (DONT DO THAT, boo tomatoes), use of sir and mr. hotchner in bed, dirty talk, pet names (good girl, sweetheart, honey, etc.), idk im terrible at warnings
wc: 2k
The hours had stretched into days since you all but threw yourself at Mr. Hotchner. The morning after unfolded with him dodging your company as if you were a wildfire, claiming a day at the zoo with Jack as a shield, yet you saw it as a deliberate distance he put between you. No sooner had they returned, the call for a case arrived. Typical.
But you found no room for embarrassment within yourself; you had played your hand, and he had been receptive, at least so you thought. If he had changed his mind, that was within his right; still, you wished he'd say something about it.
Your fingers tenderly combed through Jack's hair, the soft strands slipping between them, as you gently closed the book, careful not to wake him. He had a nightmare, but you soothed away the scary bits with 'The Very Hungry Caterpillar', as you coaxed him back to sleep. It was his go-to comfort read--and secretly, yours too. You eased your legs over the edge, each step a muted brush against the carpet. You flicked off the light, the soft thud of the book on the nightstand, and you stepped into the hallway--the door sealing behind you softly.
You moved with soft steps towards your room, hands outstretched as they found the doorknob, pushing it open with the slightest pressure. You froze mid-step, the distinct click of the front door's latch piercing the silence. Subconsciously, a plan formed in your mind, as if waiting for this cue. You made a beeline for the closet, fingers flying as you shimmied into your favorite panties and a cropped white long sleeve that highlighting your stiffening nipples. Listening intently for the sound of his footsteps, you slid under the sheets, the door left invitingly open, your legs peeking out as if by chance.
Was this wrong? Certainly, but the blood rushing to your cunt didn't care. You were acutely aware of each groan from the wooden steps under his weight as he made his way upstairs, and you could almost catch the hush of his breath as he lingered at Jack's room, the door's creak broadcasting his quiet check.
You snapped your eyes shut, the sound of his nearing steps triggering an automatic response. You knew he'd have to pass your room to get to his. Every sense tingled to life as his footsteps hesitated at your door. Even with your back facing him, you felt his eyes roam over you, his breath turning heavy, hanging in the air.
You exhaled a shaky breath, feeling it vibrate through the stillness as he continued on to his room. The urge to swear was heavy on your tongue, the realization dawning that your plan had left no impression on him. You turned restlessly, feeling the bite of your failed efforts. Yet, when you propped yourself up, there he was--Mr. Hotchner, standing motionless in the doorway.
"Oh, Mr. Hotchner! I--I didn't realize you were home. How was the case?" Your question floated on a note higher than usual, yet you made no move to hide your body from him, welcoming the observation.
"Really? You didn't hear me? I could have sworn I heard movement in your room as I came in," he remarked, his piercing gaze locking onto you as he casually propped himself against the frame of the door.
"Movement? Could've been the wind," you suggest, your smile bright and inviting, arms falling away to give him a full display of your hardened nipples through the thin fabric of your shirt.
His response is brief, a deliberate blink, a silent count to ten, before his gaze sharpens, a frown forming as he closes the distance between you, the door shutting behind him. "The wind, huh?" he echoed, "I've been neck-deep in a nightmare of case, and this is what I come home to?"
You maneuver closer, your legs now casually exposed as you perch on the bed's edge. "What's wrong, Mr. Hotchner? Don't appreciate the view?"
His presence fills the space by your bed. "The view," he begins, his eyes taking a leisurely journey from your exposed legs up to meet your gaze, "is more than agreeable."
You hand snakes out, catching the silk of that god damn tie, drawing him closer. "Well. Mr. Hotchner, aren't you going to do something about this agreeable view?" you challenge, eyes wide and expectant.
Assertively, he captures your chin, his thumb brushing your cheek. "You should know by now, I'm very much a man of action."
He leans down, a predator claiming his willing prey, and his mouth captures yours in a kiss that sends a surge of electricity through your veins, your fingers curling into the fabric of his suit as if the meld him into you. The way his lips were attached to yours sent shockwaves straight to your core, hands moving from his lapels to his hair.
"Didn't think you had it in you, Mr. Hotchn--," you mumbled against his mouth, but you were swiftly cut off as his teeth dug into your bottom lip.
"The next time you say my name, it's going to be when my cock is buried so deep inside you that you can't form anything else but that name."
And in that moment, you could've sworn you'd never felt desire until he said those words. He began to trail sloppy kisses up your neck, your head arching back, surrendering to the sweet attention he lavished upon the column of your throat. There was a quiet authority in his actions, as he parted your thighs, his fingers grazing closer to your clothed cunt as his other hand pushed you flat against the bed.
A gasp fluttered from your lips, a delicate sound of shock. You would've never pegged him to be like this in bed. So fucking demanding. Your thighs instinctively sought each other, but his large hand held them apart, keeping you open, vulnerable.
You looked up at him with doe eyes, wide and brimming with lust, and it reflected a beauty so intense he was sure it could halt time. He was sure he must've done something right in this life to be privileged enough to see you like this—so submissive despite your big talk, so eager to please. It sent a rush to every part of his body, specifically his cock which stretched against his dress pants, begging to be released.
He wanted to take his time, to worship your body in the way it deserved, but there was nothing slow or soft about his movements. His hands explored every inch of your body as if he'd been touch starved his whole life.
"Pl-Please, sir, please touch me," you begged, your hips bucking against the graze of his hands.
The word 'sir' triggered a slight twitch in his cock, his voice a throaty rumble. "Feel that? I'm touching you, honey," he teased, his touch a tantalizing drag against your skin, inching your shirt upward, a smug smile etched on his handsome face.
"You know what I mean," you insisted, your hand intertwining with his in a silent plea, guiding them to where you wanted.
"I can't read your mind, sweetheart," he chides softly, his touch retreating teasingly, "be a good girl and tell me where you want me to touch you."
Your mind was going blank, so desperate for him you could almost feel your arousal leaking down your thighs.
"Here?" he questioned, his hands coming to rest on your ankles as he propped them on the edge of the bed, leaving your legs spread wide in front of him. You shook your head in response, a whine leaving your lips, "or here," he said, his hands moving up to your thighs.
You wiggled in his grip. "Mmm, getting closer aren't I?" he taunted, "use your words pretty girl, tell me how to help."
"Mr. Hotchner, please, need you inside me," your words were more slurred than you intended, sitting up to lock your hands behind his neck, your breath fanning his.
"You don't need it, you want it," he corrected, his lips brushing the sensitive skin behind your ear, his arm a steady band across your back, pulling you closer. "However, lucky for you, I'm inclined to be generous."
His hands eased you back towards the bed, your hands fingering through his hair as he made quick work with your underwear before tapping your shirt. "Take this off honey."
Without hesitation, you complied, flinging it carelessly to the bed's opposite edge, shifting to prop yourself up on your elbows.
"God, you're so beautiful."
The words seemed to empty your lungs of air, your face turning a delicate shade of pink as you beamed at him, your smile sticky with sweetness. His fingers found your nipples, teasing and tugging as you let out soft little whimpers, arching into his touch.
"Feels so good, sir," you moaned, hands digging into the sheets, leaning towards him to close the distance between you two, your lips seeking his in a tender collision.
You could sense his mouth curve into a silent smirk against yours as his hands moved with unhurried intent to your swollen clit, eliciting an involuntary gasp from you as you writhed on the mattress. You could hear his other hand undoing his belt as his continued his leisurely movements against your cunt. In a smooth, practiced motion, he pulled out his cock from his pants.
Your mouth parted slightly at the length of it, and you had to fight off the urge to drool at the sight. Thankfully he didn't make you beg for it, sliding into you with an ease that made your head fall back against the mattress.
"Shit," he hissed, his hands finding a natural perch upon the gentle swell of your hips. "You're so wet, honey. How long have you wanted this? Hmm?"
"S-So long," you muttered, a moan pausing your sentence, "wanted you for so long."
"I know, pretty girl," he murmured, his words interlaced with the obscene sound of his length pounding in and out of your drenched pussy.
"Feels so good, Mr. Hotchner."
He let out a soft groan in response, his hands tangling through your hair. Your name rolled off his tongue as you clenched around him. He had to move his hands to the bed beside your head, trying to resist the urge to absolutely destroy you.
Your moans heightened with each thrust causing his hand to fly over your mouth, eyes rolling back to your head. "Need you to be quiet, honey. You can do that for me can't you?"
You nodded desperately against his palm, hands reaching out to close around his shoulders as you moved to meet his thrusts, the familiar coil beginning to wind in your core.
"I know you're close, sweetheart. Need you to hold on just a little longer."
He let out a breathy chuckle at your body's reaction, desperately bucking against him. Hotch revealed in the sound of your pussy squishing around him, so wet you're practically soaking his dress pants.
Your slur his name as he reaches between you, his thumb rubbing feverishly at your clit. "Go ahead, honey, cum for me."
His words were all you needed, gushing around his cock as he continued to fuck you through your high. He let out a strangled groan of his own, pumping you full of his cum. His large body slumped against yours, his head ducking into the crook of your neck as you both attempted to catch your breath.
He slowly lifted off of you, tucking his cock back into his pants as moved to grasp your ankle, rubbing comforting circles over the skin.
"Tell me, was that personal bonus sufficient for you?"
Your giggle, light and airy, filled the space as you gingerly lifted yourself, hands laying a gentle claim on his chest, your smile blooming across your lips. It was in this moment he knew he would do anything to keep you like this--content, utterly fucked and next time in his bed.
"Well, I can't say for sure, Mr. Hotchner," you admit, your kiss on his cheek lingering a moment longer. "I work really hard around here, maybe another round would satiate me."
"I don't know think anything would satiate you, honey."
"Maybe so, but isn't it tempting to see if something can?"
"Undoubtedly."
taglist: @mrs-ssa-hotch
#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner#criminal minds smut#aaron hotchner smut#aaron hotchner x fem!reader#aaron hotchenr imagine#aaron hotch x reader#hotch x reader#hotch#Spotify
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Hii! Can i pls request a Light x reader nsfw? You know the scenes where L planted a camera in his room right? Well maybe to make L less suspicious of him Light fucks the reader in his room? I thought that it was a hot idea♡ you dont have to do it if you dont want to😊
★ DECEPTION ─ fem!reader
#NOTES ─ i love you for requesting this i cannot tell you how many times i've day dreamed about this (sorry it took so long)
#WARNINGS ─ smut, cnc peeping toms (L), p in v,
#SUMMARY ─ "there was an elaborate plan set in place. but as soon as light's hands snaked around your waist you seemed to forget everything you were supposed to do and say." innocent until proven guilty
there was an elaborate plan set in place. but as soon as light's hands snaked around your waist you seemed to forget everything you were supposed to do and say. his moderately chapped lips kissing your cheek lovingly. much unlike how light usually behaved around you.
"light." his name left your lips, trying to warn him he'd made your mind go blank. but he knew.
"i know." he whispered back, displeasure laced in his voice. luckily, light was more than capable of carrying out the plan for the both of you.
"just let me do all the work." he muttered, his voice not loud enough to be picked up on by the mics on the camera but still he was careful with what he said.
he hoped you would be too. you nodded. looking up at light with a lustful look in your eye that he couldn't deny was making him a little aroused. light kissed your jaw, roughly. as if light was capable of doing anything without roughness.
"last chance to back out." it's not a soft tone, but it does let you know that he won't be mad at you if you do decide you don't want some random creep watching you have sex with your friend.
you shake your head, you weren't going to let him down now. and to be totally honest, the thought of someone watching you in such a vulnerable position was intriguing to say the least. light began to undress you once you'd given him your final consent.
meanwhile, L watched his screen with wider eyes than normal. his eyes grazing every pixel of the screen as he watched light take off your shirt. neglecting the other screens that were broadcasting equally, if not more, important information. L racked his brain trying to figure out if this was just a trick of if he was really witnessing this dirty scene play out.
all your clothes were off in what seemed like a blink of an eye. pressed into the mattress with light's knee inches away from your heated core. you dumbly pull at his tie, fucked out expression but light hadn't even gotten started with you yet.
"you got any thoughts in there at all?" he smirks. silently gloating now that he knew he had every single person he knew wrapped around his godly finger. there was not a thought behind your blown out pupils. it prided light to know he had such an effect on you.
"i haven't even done anything yet." he furthers. and L was hearing all of it.
you paw at the waist band of his bland khaki pants. light chuckled feeling your shaky hands trying to get more of him. his rubs his hand over your chest, caressing your nipple with his pointer and thumb.
"patient girls get rewarded." he tsks. he's met with a whine to which he chuckles again. he knows L will over analyze and find something wrong with the scenario if he doesn't hurry up.
"you wanna get rewarded?" he unbuttons his pants with one hand. you're eager, desperate. you need hm in a way you didn't even know it was possible to want one of your friend.
he reaches over you, grabbing a condom from the book shelf. it was wedged between two books. clearly he was trying to keep it hidden from his maid of a mom and his nosy sister.
he opens the condom with his teeth and you might as well just have hearts in your eyes as you watch him. the wrapper falls somewhere unimportant on the bed. he rolls the condom on. you knew it was only a matter of time before you finally felt full with his cock.
© 2023 MORBIDEROTICA
#─ ♡ death note#he makes me so subby#death note#death note x reader#death note smut#light yagami smut#light yagami x reader#light yagami death note#light yagami#yagami light
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what sex with them is like. . . ft. mark, chenle, & jisung of nct dream !
cw: nsfw (18+), minors dni, afab! reader, explicit sex, face fucking, switch!chenle, switch!reader
author's note: in honor of me missing dream >.< also dedicated to my very delusional best friends that i love
^ྀི MARK LEE
most of the time sex with mark is always sweet. he enjoys taking his time with you and making sure that YOU feel good. his pleasure isn’t something he’s too concerned about. when you feel good, he feels ecstatic. he would describe himself as a “man of pleasure”, and would never want you to even lift a finger to try to do anything to him.
he gets off on making you feel good, he loves that you’re a pillow princess.
however, every now and then, something in him will snap. he’d be so rough with you that bruises would appear on your skin the next day, his finger nails making indentations that he’ll always freshen up the next time.
pulling your hair, spanking you, biting you, pushing your head down on his dick, that’s the mark you really enjoy. of course his sweet demeanor in the bed room is always a delight, but when mark treats you like a slut, that’s what you really enjoy.
“fuck,” mark groaned, the grip on your hair tightening if that was even possible, “you’re like a bitch in heat.”
your eyes brimmed with tears from not only the tight grip, but also from the tip of his fat cock hitting the back of your throat. your hands wrapped around what your mouth couldn’t reach, eliciting groans from mark.
“fuck, i love you so much.” he squeezed his eyes shut as he continued to fuck your mouth.
^ྀི ZHONG CHENLE
chenle, contrary to mark, makes you work for everything. you want him to touch you? okay, he’ll touch you. his fingers will brush your arm, he’ll rest his hand against your thigh, wrap an arm around your waist and stroke your hip bone gently. he knows that’s not what you wanted, but you didn’t specify what you wanted.
when you would have enough of his teasing, you’d ask him to “touch you properly”
“i’m not sure what you mean?” he would whisper, his lips grazing the shell of your ear, “i am touching you.”
a pathetic whine escaped from your lips, grabbing his hand and pushing it to the heat between your legs, “dont make me beg for it lele.”
without second thought, he snatched his hand back and turned back towards the television. not that he could really pay attention, he just didn't have the patience for any bratty behavior. ever.
"why did you stop?" you whined again, pulling on his sleeve to get his attention even though you knew why he did.
chenle didn't reply, keeping his eyes focused on the movie even though he really didn't fucking care about what was on the screen. he was thinking about how pathetic you were about to turn in order to get his attention.
"lele," you whispered, kissing down his neck to get some sort of reaction out of him, but of course, you didn't.
you were getting a bit frustrated despite knowing chenle's game. he always did this so you should be used to it, but you weren't.
that means you would have to sink to a level that you knew he would absolutely enjoy seeing you succumbed to.
fine, if that meant you could get what you want. untangling yourself from his limbs and straddling his lap. you had a plan.
chenle rolled his eyes at you, leaning his head to the side so he could continue to watch the tv. he had to fight back a smile because he knew you were going to give in.
instead of pouting or whining like you normally would, you wrapped your arms around his neck and rested your forehead against his.
"i know what you want me to do," you said, forcing eye contact, "but i'm not going to do that tonight, chenle."
the victory he thought he had immediately faltered and he narrowed his eyes, "you aren't?"
you shook your head before kissing down his neck once more, slowly moving your hips down against the erection starting to grow underneath you, "i think you should let me take charge for once, hm?"
^ྀི PARK JISUNG
normally when it came to sex, you were in charge. jisung liked when you told him what to do, how to make you feel good, how to make himself feel good. he loved being told what to do in the bedroom.
jisung absolutely went insane when you would choke him, it always pushed him over the edge.
so it surprised you when jisung asked you if he could take charge in the bedroom for once. to tell you what to do, to tell you how to please him, to choke you. he wanted to see what it was like.
and who were you to say no to your sweet boy?
it was like a switch was flipped when the day finally came.
you were on top of jisung in the backseat of his car, pushing your hips down to meet his growing bugle and tongue down his throat.
his fingers were gripping your waist in a bruising manner, groaning when you begin kissing down his neck and sucking dark hickeys into his skin.
"fuck, y/n," he whined, bucking his hips up to get some sort of relief from his aching boner, "stop teasing."
giggling sweetly, you continued kissing down to his collarbones and biting, "i said stop teasing."
you scoffed against his skin, pulling away and looking down at him, "since when did you start telling me what to do?"
jisung's jaw was tense, but instead of saying anything back, he quickly flipped you over and wrapped his hand around your throat.
"stop talking," he spat, hiking one of your legs loosely over his hips, "my turn."
he used the hand wrapped around your throat to slip his fingers in between your lips, forcing you to open your mouth and suck his lithe digits in.
jisung's eyes were dark with lust, starting to grind against your core, "it's my turn to be in charge."
#nct dream smut#nct dream hard thoughts#nct dream imagines#nct dream hard hours#mark lee smut#mark lee hard hours#zhong chenle smut#zhong chenle hard hours#park jisung imagines#park jisung smut#park jisung hard thoughts#mark lee imagines#zhong chenle imagines#mark smut#chenle smut#jisung smut#park jisung x reader#mark lee x reader#zhong chenle x reader
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loverboy!matt headcannons!
loverboy!matt who buys you your favourite chocolate everytime he goes to the store.
loverboy!matt who is always randomly posting you.
loverboy!matt who gives you a new bouquet of flowers each week.
"i got you your favourite, tulips!"
loverboy!matt who only follows you on all socials.
"why do i need to follow them back? i only have eyes for you."
"she's your mother matt."
loverboy!matt who admires you as u speak.
loverboy!matt who refuses to argue with you.
"yep..your right. sorry princess."
loverboy!matt who constantly picks you up late at night.
"what? i missed you."
"at 2am matt?"
loverboy!matt who refuses to sleep unless he knows your okay.
"why aren't you answering??" "hello?" "are you okay?"
"i was in the shower. im fine."
loverboy!matt who always suprises you with picnic dates.
loverboy!matt who feels horrible when he accidently hurts you.
"omg- im so sorry baby! do you need anything??"
"u stepped on my foot..you didnt stab me.."
loverboy!matt who gets you a care hamper when your sick or on your period.
"aww thank you..you really didn't have to.."
"its the least i can i do."
loverboy!matt who follows you around like a dog.
"matt im going to the fridge"
"crazy. me too!"
loverboy!matt who can't control his smile when he sees you.
loverboy!matt who only has slow and soft sex with you.
"fuck..so tight for me.."
loverboy!matt who's favourite holiday is your birthday.
"happy birthday!!"
"thank you..what is going on.."
"you're having a party!"
loverboy!matt who can look at you and know how your feeling.
loverboy!matt who finally proposes after planning it for so long.
"will you marry me?"
"wait..seriously..?"
loverboy!matt who sobs at the wedding seeing you walk down the aisle.
"your so pretty.."
loverboy!matt who gets a tattoo to remember the day you became his wife.
loverboy!matt who can't leave you alone for a minute.
"matt im showering!"
"just let me in pleaseeee!"
loverboy!matt who knows you struggle to show your feelings well.
"hey...whats wrong?"
"i dont know.."
"okay..shh..your okay."
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#sturnsmadl#matt sturniolo fluff#matt sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#matt sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo x reader#sturniolo imagine#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo smut#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo edit#sturniolo x reader#christopher sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#chris sturniolo#nick sturniolo fluff#nick sturniolo#nick sturniolo smut#nate doe#nathan doe smut#nathan doe fanfic#nathan doe#chris sturniolo fluff#chris sturniolo smut#character ai#character ai bot
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