#it just really makes me feel like they never really cared about us that much to begin with for this to be our current situation

[luveline]

hi jade! I remember a while back you wrote a drabble about hotchner!reader having a really bad panic attack and Spencer and Aaron helping her at the hospital, and it gave me a lot of comfort to read it. would you be interested in writing something about Spencer and Aaron taking care of hotchner!reader as she adjusts to her new meds?

—Spencer and your brother, Aaron, take care of you when your new prescription gives unexpected side effects. fem (adopted) 2k

When things got quiet at home, you’d get tense. 

Your apartment is silent. No whir of the heating, no washing machine clatter, no voices. You sit on the couch with your legs pulled up, turned to the armrest with your cheek pressed to the seat's backing. Your phone is in your hand at a low percentage. You’ll get up to charge just as soon as you can remember what you’d wanted to be doing in the first place. 

Spencer was going to call you. He’s sweet, really. You didn’t expect for love to feel easy; you never thought someone could like you without allowances. You’re quiet sometimes, your nerves are shot. You ask for reassurance too much, too often, and you don’t believe them when they’re given. 

You aren’t smart, or funny, or particularly hard-working. 

But Spencer loves you, you’re almost certain. Or maybe he’s just content to be half happy. It wouldn’t surprise you if he called you to break up with you —what use have you been to him lately? You’re tired everyday. You can’t sleep, you can’t eat, you never want to go out. You can barely make it through the working day. 

Your phone beeps in your hand. 

Outside, it says. If Spencer’s there, please make sure he’s fully dressed.

You manage to smile weakly. Aaron saw Spencer once getting out of the shower, and he was dressed, thank you very much. You hadn’t done anything salacious as he might’ve assumed from the situation, just showered together, but Aaron always lets you know before visiting now. 

Doesn’t ask, by the way, but you don’t actually want him to. He’s like, the only good thing in your life beside Spencer. 

Aaron lets himself in and finds you immediately. “Hey, honey,” he says. 

He slipped into the affectionate older brother role not long after meeting you, and he’s been worse since you were in the hospital. Which is to say, gentler with you. 

He slips a bag of groceries onto the counter. He pans around the room. It’s cleaner than usual here, but none of the lights are on, nor the TV. You can see him notice it. 

“You okay?” he asks, pulling groceries from the bag. He’s brought milk, bread, eggs, and fresh soups from the nice store nearby. “It’s quiet in here.” 

“I’m fine.” 

“Yeah? Any wobbles?” 

He’s asking if you’ve had a panic attack or anything like it, but for the last few days you’ve felt veritably numb. “I’m okay,” you say. 

You should bring up your symptoms. Clearly, lexapro either isn’t right for you or the dosage is too much; you’re a zombie these last couple of days. Medications don’t always work straight away, so for a time you’d felt like your script was useless, serving only to make you nauseous, but the sickness has finally gone away. 

He opens the fridge to put away the groceries. He’s sliding the bread into your bread box when he says, “Honey, aren’t you gonna answer that? Your phone?”

You blink down at your phone. Spencer’s contact glows in front of a green background. 

You click answer and pull it to your ear. “Hello?” you ask softly. 

“Hey, angel. How are you feeling today?” 

You clear your throat. “Fine.” 

“I was thinking I’d come over?” 

“You’re outside?” you ask. 

“How’d you know that?” 

“Must be something in the water.”

“I’ll come up now. I brought some things for dinner.” 

You manage your first laugh that dreary day. It’s nearly normal. “Okay. I might not have room.” 

Spencer promises to be up quickly and disconnects the call. You lift your chin to find Aaron already looking at you. “Do I look okay?” you ask. 

“Beautiful, don’t worry.”

“Is this an ambush?” you ask. 

“Not an intentional one. Can I make you something to drink?” 

He’ll make you something you like, you trust. You try to sit properly on the couch before Spencer gets here, rubbing under your eyes, checking there’s nothing on your t-shirt and sweatpants. It might not matter if there were, you know Spencer thinks you’re pretty without makeup or fancy clothes, but he doesn’t necessarily have to be truthful about it. 

“Aaron,” you say, before you can forget, “did… was Jack’s soccer okay?”

He passes you a mug, squeezing your shoulder lovingly. “It was great. I’ll show you the photos.” 

“I’m sorry I didn’t go.” 

You were supposed to. Spencer even drove to pick you up, but he got here and your meds weren’t working and your heart was beating wrong, so you stayed home. 

“It’s okay.” Aaron looks like he wants to hug you, but he doesn’t. “Nobody’s mad at you for that.” 

“For other things?” 

“Nothing.” 

Your door opens again. Spencer bursts in with two things, a brown paper bag of groceries and a bouquet of flowers. It’s a pretty huge bouquet, as they go, white and pink flowers, cornflower blue chrysanthemums spotted throughout, the end of his scarf stuck in the flowers and his coat unbuttoned in the struggle. “Hey. Hi, Hotch.” 

“Spencer,” Aaron says, which is strangely warm. 

Spencer shoves the bouquet aside to see you. “Hi, you okay?” 

You force yourself to stand. It’s obvious you’re not feeling right, your head whirring, but you have to make sure he still wants you. “Spencer.” 

He puts the bouquet down. The groceries next. “Angel,” he says, meeting Aaron’s eyes quickly, then back to you, where he smiles sympathetically, “How long have you been feeling like this?” 

You’ve only taken a few steps toward him when he catches you for a hug. It’s nice and polite, but not without tenderness. He doesn’t pull your weight in like he would if you were alone, but he holds your back and sits a quick kiss against your cheek as he pulls away. 

“I don’t really know, a few days?” you suggest. 

“You could’ve told me. Or Hotch, you know?” 

“I know, I was going to, just–” You press your hand to your eyes. “Didn’t really notice it was happening.” 

“Don’t get upset,” Aaron says, coming to join you both in the kitchen. “It’s alright. Spencer isn’t scolding you, he just wants you to know we’re here for you no matter what happens.” 

“I don’t feel like myself,” you say.

“That’s okay,” Aaron furthers, holding you by the shoulder, his hand settling behind the nape of your neck, “we can talk to your doctor again, this isn’t permanent. We’ll talk to them today, if it’s what you need.” 

“I’m sorry. Not many people have such an adverse effect to lexapro, I was hoping you wouldn’t be an exception,” Spencer says. 

To your surprise, Aaron answers for you, “You couldn’t have known. This is just something we’ll have to keep doing together.” 

Someone sits you down. Aaron warms his fancy soups and toasts the bread he brought, making a plate and bowl for each of you without asking. Spencer barely balks. You manage another laugh, for which you’re rewarded with two smiles. 

Aaron can’t stay much longer, having to pick up Jack from Jess’, but he offers to come back. You decline, not wanting Jack to see you feeling as depressed as you are. He promises to call the doctor tonight and leaves in a rush. He must’ve stayed longer than he should’ve. 

Spencer is more forthcoming with soft touches once he’s gone. He didn’t eat much but neither did you, pushing the plates across the coffee table. He’s still wearing his coat. 

Fond, you reach for his chest and begin slipping buttons from the eyelets. “You’re staying, right?” you murmur. 

“If you’ll have me.” 

You open his coat and push it away from his shoulders. He dressed fancy even when he’s not going anywhere, it’s so strange, the button up and the tie and the sweater vest, all of it, but you love it. You run your hand down his vest. He lets his head dip forward. Not for kissing, just to be near. 

“What’s wrong?” he asks. 

“Just feel wrong.” 

“It’s not really a good idea to stop taking the lexapro now. It’s technically an antidepressant, and your body won’t adjust well.” He holds your waist as you hold his. “But this is weird, huh?” 

“Feels weird.” 

“Short term, uh, I think we should just try and make sure you feel alright today. Is there anything you need?” he’s murmuring, rubbing his thumb into the soft of your stomach. “I can get anything. Or we can do anything.” 

“You don’t have to… worry about me.” 

“Are you kidding?” he asks softly.

“We haven’t been…” You trail your hand to his stomach, where it stays. “I just don’t expect you to deal with this, you didn’t sign up for this.” 

“I don’t think that’s true. I had no idea what I’d find out about you or what you might go through when we first met, but I wanted to find out. I wanted to take care of you then, and I do now,” he says simply.

“It’s not good timing for me to be like this.” 

“Stuff happens all the time. I wouldn’t want to wait for you to be perfect before we met.” He smiles genuinely. “Not that you’re not perfect.” 

“I really feel like I’m not even me.” 

“You’re you,” he says, dipping so close to you that you can’t see his face anymore, just his skin.

You slouch into his chest, coaxed by long, lithe arms cradling you, as kind as anyone’s ever touched you. He smells clean, your nose finding its way to his stiff collar. 

“I’m sorry,” you say. 

“You don’t have to be. Nobody wants you to be sorry, okay?” 

It’s a new feeling. Spencer spends the night with you on the couch and doesn’t for a moment seem like it’s something he doesn’t wanna do. You end up laying on his chest, his fingers drawing lines like a meandering figure skater up your back. Twirls and loops, long laps around your spine. When your phone rings, he’s nice enough to click answer and hold it to your ear. 

“Aaron?” you ask sleepily. 

“Hey, honey. I’ll be by tomorrow to take you back to Dr. Chester’s office, alright? If you don’t want to keep taking your lexapro, don’t. But if you can manage it, take another tonight, and we’ll figure out the new plan after your appointment.” 

“Okay,” you say, feeling very small. “Thank you for doing that for me.” 

“I’d do anything. Jack says he loves you, he’s making you a painting of yourself. He’s very good at the colours.” 

“I bet he is,” you say loudly. In the background, you can hear Jack’s pleased little thank you. 

“Do you want to talk a while?” he asks.

“That’s okay, Aaron, I’m half asleep on Spencer right now.” 

“Good, that’s good. Tell him to take good care of you, okay? Or I won’t be happy.” 

Spencer laughs above your head. “When is he ever happy?” he jokes in a whisper. 

“Shh,” you say, giving Spencer a light shove. “He says he will.” You swallow a lump, as you’ve had to do all day, but it isn’t rawness that colours your voice now. “I love you. Thank you for, uh, calling the doctor. Thanks.” 

“I love you too. I’ll leave you to sleep now. I’ll come at eleven, alright?” 

“Alright. See you tomorrow,” you say. 

Your voice is weak. Spencer pulls the phone away and hangs it up, tossing it without force onto the coffee table, before wrapping his arm around you snugly. 

“It’s gonna be fine,” Spencer says. “You’ll see, things aren’t going to be like this forever. It’s statistically impossible.” 

“Ooh,” you croon, pressing your tired face back into his chest, “I love when you talk statistics to me. Tell me more.”

He draws shapes into your back, his voice a murmur as he starts to talk. 

[fierceawakening]

Yes! That’s… less of a clear answer than I feel comfortable with to join a movement or admire its leaders, but it’s something.

I always get the sense in conversations like this that people are much more comfortable than I am just being like “who cares about the edge cases?”

I care about them, both because I’ve *been* the victim of things committed by people too deep in their mental illness for anyone who tried to convince them to stop, and because if we truly believe everyone is a person (which I see as a key tenet of leftist values and part of why I choose them over right wing values in the first place) then we believe some things are too cruel even for people who do horrific things.

So I don’t see it as an issue we can avoid.

Also like I’ve mentioned I work at a homeless shelter. The reason a lot of academically inclined leftists can talk about crime like it’s rare is because they don’t spend time in environments where people who’ve committed crimes are common. I don’t think they’re wrong that most people are basically good, but I think they can be naive about what it takes to convince someone crimes are not a great idea. If someone has a patten of criming, it’s because that’s what they believe works for them. Getting them to stop is about changing their outlook and habits, which is far from impossible but a lot slower and more bumpy than many people who never did much criming want to think.

Also I think a lot of people really don’t have an accurate picture in their heads of serious mental illness. I think very often people have an idea that even very acutely ill people are fairly rational, and you can usually help them deal with their anxiety, give them meds, whatever, and they improve a lot. Again, I don’t think this is fundamentally incorrect; disease isn’t destiny. But having interacted with a lot of people whose illness is particularly intractable, I think that people often have… the same kind of image in their mind, where they don’t really understand how incremental incremental can be.

There are many people, including one client I’m very morose about, who improve a little when treated well, but a little isn’t enough. My moroseness? That client has been banned for fighting, unless she appeals the decision and wins. I don’t *like* the thought that she’s going to lose her place here and that’s likely to only make things worse… but I don’t have the fundamental confidence to say that kicking people out for violence is too cruel, we can make sure it’s fine. Making sure it’s fine is very clearly above my pay grade, and while there are people with more experience and better degrees than me I don’t have the impression they’re less confused.

All of which says to me that deciding we’re ready to stop imprisoning people who do bad things is at the very least premature (and to their credit a lot of abolitionists do agree that prisons will be phased out over time.) I think it’s unrealistic not just in a way that paints a rosy picture of humanity (as a whole? My picture of humanity is also fairly rosy!) but also in a way that fundamentally ill prepares us to really help perpetrators in ways that matter.

[giannaln4]

Sorry Won't Fix This

lando norris x fem reader

summary: Lando makes the biggest mistake of his life, bigger than any apology, and you both hoped there was a way to fix it. Unfortunately, you both wished it at different times. (5.5k words)

warnings: angst, cheating, mentions of sex, manipulation, mede up characters, use of Y/N

a/n: I FINALLY WROTE MORE ANGST! This is a long one and I held nothing back. I really did try to make it as hurtful and dramatic as possible and ngl I was inspired by 'Don't worry darling' for a tiny part of this (you'll know when you read it) but anyway, this one does NOT have a happy ending so please let me know what you think!

Check out the original request here!

↺ back to navigation — send me a request!

You had a terrible feeling, but you were too scared to look into it, terrified you would be right. 

Truth is, you started feeling like that just a few weeks ago, when you went back to Lando’s apartment to surprise him with lunch and found an empty room and the bed unmade from somebody sleeping on it. Any other day that would’ve been completely normal, but you had stayed with him the night before and made the bed as soon as you both got up to get ready for your separate plans for the day, leaving a perfectly made bed to come back to. 

Before that day, you would’ve never in a million years thought that Lando would cheat on you. He had always been so loving and caring, even before you started dating, and once you officially became a thing, he would constantly remind you how much he loved you, and on special days he was the most romantic person ever, and you always thought that you would spend the rest of your life with him, but now... you didn’t want to think about it, but you couldn’t bury the thought of him with someone else after it crossed your mind briefly while looking at the messy bed.

Later that night you asked him about it, trying hard not to sound like you were accusing him of something, but his excuse just made you feel worse, your suspicions growing.

“What do you mean?” He asked as he inspected his bed, unsure of what was wrong with it. 

“Well, you know, I made the bed this morning before we left, remember?”

“Oh, uh- yeah, I came back to- to take a nap,” he stuttered, not even looking at you. 

But it kept happening, a few more times.

Things started to change after that; he cancelled the plans you made for when he came back home, he suddenly was too busy every day and your presence might be a distraction for all the things he had to get done for the next race, he was so tired at night he didn’t have the energy for anything, and he even asked you to go back to sleep in your own apartment, claiming he just needed to sleep on his own to be comfortable, even though you were used to sleeping together.

Long story short, he was distant; he was never around anymore, and even when he was, you felt like you were missing him. He was just... different, and you were beating herself up wondering what had changed.

He, on the other hand, didn’t miss you, seeing he didn’t make an effort anymore and he could go days without answering a text or returning a call, ​​and it was not because you took a long time to reply; you would always respond in a heartbeat if it was him. If it weren’t for all the times you visited him at his apartment when a news outlet brought up that he was back in Monaco to make sure he was doing okay, you wouldn’t talk to each other at all.

But today you were feeling hopeful. It was your anniversary, and you had a date night planned — a date he didn’t cancel, so you took the entire afternoon to do your nails, your hair, and pick a beautiful dress to wear, his favourite dress. Your makeup took a while, but you still managed to be ready on time for the wonderful night you had ahead, so you made your way to him, your palms sweating when you knocked on the door.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” Was the first thing he asked, wiping her smile off of her face.

“I thought we would go out tonight,” you replied, looking down at your hands to hide your clear disappointment.

“Oh- I guess I forgot to tell you but I remembered I have an important meeting tomorrow morning, so I’m not gonna make it." The door was barely open, and he was standing where the crack was, blocking his apartment as he held the door with a strong grip.

“Okay,” your voice was so faint you barely heard it yourself. “Do you need anything? I could stay here for a couple of hours.”

“No, don’t worry about it. I think it’s better if you leave.”

Tears pricked your eyes, swallowing the small lump forming in your throat. “Why?”

“Well, I’m busy with a few things. You know, I have a really early day tomorrow, and you can’t really help me with a McLaren meeting, can you?”

You shook your head slowly “I guess I’m leaving then.”

The tears you had been holding started to fall as soon as you turned around; you could feel your mascara clumping on your eyelashes and forming black streaks down your cheeks, ruining the contour and highlight you applied in hopes of impressing your boyfriend. You ran back to your car and let it all out once you closed the door. You really thought things would be different tonight, but you were wrong.

You started driving to your best friend’s house, desperate to vent about how terrible your relationship was going since you had been keeping a secret from everyone; the last thing you needed was the media to get in the middle of this. 

“Oh my god, Y/N. Are you okay?” Mia asked you when she saw the mascara tears.

You shook your head as you stepped inside, small whimpers leaving your lips as you tried to stop the crying.

“What happened?” She took your hand and guided you to the couch.

“Lando.” 

“What about Lando?”

“I think he’s cheating on me." You had never said that out loud, and saying it broke your heart even more. “I wish I was crazy, but the signs... I know he is.”

“I’m not trying to defend him or anything, but what makes you think that?”

“Everything, Mia. He has been acting so... distant. Ever since-” You stopped yourself. You never told anyone your relationship with Lando wasn’t doing so well, making up excuses to cover his. You just wanted to hold on to everyone else’s idea of you two, thinking you were the perfect couple.

“What? Have you guys been fighting?”

You took a deep breath before saying, “Remember the last time I stayed over at his apartment?” She nodded in response, “Well, later that day I went back to surprise him with lunch, but he wasn’t there and the bed was a complete mess, and you know I always make the bed when I wake up. He said he went back to take a nap, but he was supposed to be with Carlos all morning, and it didn’t make sense he had time to come back, take a nap, and then leave again, so I asked Carlos, and they didn’t meet at all that day. Is that insane?”

"No, Y/N, of course not.” Mia didn’t know what to say; she wanted to comfort you but she didn’t know how. “And he’s been acting weird since then?”

You nodded, wiping your tears away. “Yeah, he’s been pushing me away since that day. Telling me he doesn’t have time because he’s so busy with the season, which I understand, but not even answering a couple of texts? And cancelling every date we had planned?”

“Is that what happened today? I thought it was your anniversary.”

“It is.” You were nibbling on your lip profusely, looking up so tears would stop falling. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do.”

“Have you told him how you feel?” You shook your head again; you hated confrontation, and you were hoping you didn’t have to do that. “I think you should go talk to him.”

“Right now?”

“If not now, then when? You say you’ve been feeling like something’s off for a while, but you haven’t said anything to him.”

“I don’t know Mia-”

“If he is cheating on you then you need to break up with him, you don’t deserve to be in that situation, and you deserve to know the truth.”

You inhaled as you considered what Mia just said. She was right, but to be completely honest, you weren’t ready yet. “I really want to know, but I can't.”

“Why not?”

“Because what if he is?” Tears started rolling down your face again, Mia hugging you tight as soon as it happened. “I love him, and... I just want things to go back to normal.”

“I know you do, but believe me, it’s better if you know.”

You stayed there for a while, but ultimately decided to go talk to him, but you needed to put yourself back together before confronting him. Mia helped you to wash your face and fix your hair, comforting you and offering to stay with you once the two of you were done talking. You accepted; you didn’t want to be alone, and Anne, your flatmate, had been going out of town a lot recently, so your apartment was empty, and you knew it’d be a long night.

Once you felt better and ready to talk to him, Mia drove you to his place as you repeated in your head everything you wanted to tell him. You knocked loudly and didn’t stop until he opened. He looked annoyed, and you stormed inside as soon as he opened the door.

“What are you doing?”

“We need to talk.”

“About what?” 

You blinked at him twice. Did he not think you needed to talk? “About us, Lando. What’s going on?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Okay, now you were mad. “Lando, you have been ignoring me for days, and I understand if you’re busy, but it doesn’t explain you pushing me away at all times.”

“I’m sorry if you feel that way.”

There was a moment of silence, both of you staring at each other as you tried to remember the questions you were supposed to ask, but none of them seemed to make sense now that you were standing in front of him “That’s all you’re gonna say?”

“What do you want me to say?” 

“How about you tell me exactly what’s going on?”

You were both raising your voices, but Lando especially. “I told you already, I’ve been busy with the season-”

“I could’ve stayed here with you or gone with you to races if that meant spending more time together, like we have done before.”

“But why would you want to do that?”

“To keep you company, maybe?” 

“But all you do is stand around while I do my job.”

“Lando, do you know how many weeks I’ve spent away from home just so we can be together? And you don’t even care anymore, you didn’t even care to say thank you.”

“I never asked you to come,” he mumbled.

You scoffed before shaking your head. “I wanted to, you know I worry about you when you stress yourself out about a race, you tend to overwork yourself-”

“I. Never. Asked. You. To. Come." He interrupted you, his tone punctuated with each word. “I would’ve been fine without you, I don’t need you in my hair at all times." His eyes hardened, his mouth opening to speak again. “Don’t you have better things to do?”

“I just- I’m your girlfriend, I guess I thought you liked to be with me.”

“I do, but you don’t have to be so clingy all the time.”

You didn’t say anything, hoping you heard it wrong or that he’d apologise, but he didn't. “What?”

“You know, we do everything together and-”

“No, we used to do things together, not everything." You corrected him.

He took a deep breath, as if he was done dealing with you. “Right. Look, I’m tired, we can talk tomorrow.”

You nodded, holding back the tears as you walked towards the door. “Happy anniversary,” you said before slamming it closed and running back to Mia’s car.

Lando sat on his couch with his head between his hands for a moment. How could he forget? He took a deep breath as he got up, looking for a ribbon and a gift he bought for you who knows how long ago.

He made his way to Mia’s flat; he assumed you would be there, and your car parked outside confirmed his suspicions, so he knocked on the door a couple of times before saying, “Baby, I’m sorry. I was caught up in all the things I have to do before leaving, and I didn’t realise what day it was." But he got no response. “Y/N please, I know you’re here. Will you please talk to me?”

“Go away, Lando.” Mia was the one to yell, making Lando realise he would not be able to fix it, not tonight anyway. 

“Okay, I’m leaving this here. I- I love you.”

You called in sick for your job the next day, your sore eyes and pounding headache being the only things you could think about. Well, that and Lando.

You were staring at the gift he bought for your one-year anniversary — what you were supposed to celebrate the day before. It was beautiful, and you couldn’t believe he remembered you mentioning it on one of your first dates ever, but it was the letter inside that broke your heart. It looked... unfinished, like he didn’t even care enough to give it a proper ending, so you were wondering how long ago he stopped working on it.

The days after that were rough, long nights of wondering what you could have possibly done wrong, but even then you didn’t talk to him. He tried to, a couple of times, but you needed a little bit of time.

A couple of weeks went by, and you found yourself alone at your apartment, catching up on the work you missed for calling in sick so many times.

It was your birthday, and Mia insisted a million times you go out and celebrate, clear your head, and forget about Lando once in for all, but somehow it felt wrong; you had made plans with Lando a few months back to bring your family to a race so they could finally meet him, but obviously that wasn’t happening anymore, so what was the point of celebrating? You just needed to focus and get things done anyway.

You were thankful that Mia had been for you through it all; you really were, but sometimes crying alone did more for you than having someone tell you ‘everything's gonna be okay.' You were tired of hearing that.

Hours later, you found yourself with a cup of coffee to finally catch up on the last project. It wasn’t really that much of a workload, and you didn’t need to stay up all night to do that, but you were going to anyway. Perhaps you just wanted to be productive, or maybe that was you trying to occupy your mind from the possibility of your boyfriend cheating on you.

You looked at the clock; it was 11:30 PM. You sighed, typing away whatever you were supposed to on your laptop, your eyes sore from staring at it for too long, when a text message interrupted you.

Unknown [Attachment: 1 photo]

Unknown: I heard they have been at it for a while.

That text message induced such a great shock on your tired, worn-out body, tears falling down your face as soon as you read it. You didn’t want to open it as you were sure of what this was about, but your curiosity got the best of you.

Tapping on the notification, you prepared yourself mentally to confirm your terrible suspicions. And they were confirmed.

Your vision was blurry from the tears, but you were able to see Lando standing next to his new Ferrari, and he was with someone else, except you couldn’t see who it was, the big jacket and a beanie protecting her identity. He was smiling down at her, eyes full of... love? Those green eyes you thought he reserved for you only, but clearly you were wrong. His big hands were around her waist as hers went around his neck, and his lips were stained with lipstick.

You broke down crying, curled up on your bed as you wore one of Lando’s hoodies that still smelt like him. You now knew what the truth was, but you didn’t want to accept it. What happened to you two? When did he stop loving you?

It was like your heart was ripped from your chest; all that time you spent together down the drain like it was nothing, like it all meant nothing to him.

You didn’t know for how long you cried the night before, but it was now 1 PM and you were just waking up, so you probably cried for hours. There was nothing left you could do to save your relationship, so you made up your mind to break up with him as soon as he came back from the American triple header.

Y/N: We need to talk, just let me know when you’re here.

The message was left unanswered, as usual. You rolled your eyes and put your phone down, returning to your video call with Mia.

“Do you know who that is?”

“No, sorry.” 

You sighed as you sipped your hot coffee “What about the number? Do you know who sent the picture?”

“What’s the number? Maybe I can ask around to see if any of my friends know.”

You sent her the phone number, along with the picture of Lando and the other girl. “Thanks. Don’t show anyone that picture thought. I’m already embarrassed as it is.”

“Embarrassed? Y/N, he should be the embarrassed one, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Maybe I did-”

“No, stop doing that to yourself. We both know it’s not your fault.”

You nodded. “I can’t help it. I just don’t understand.”

“Understand what?”

“Was I not enough? Why did he need to find someone else?”

Mia hated to see you going through that, how you felt like you were not enough or that it all ended because of you, and she hated Lando for causing all of that. “I know it’s hard right now, but I promise you’ll understand that none of this is your fault. Y/N you’re amazing, and he’s an idiot for not realising.”

Talking to her made you feel better, but all those terrible emotions came back whenever you looked at the picture again, a million questions invading your mind. How long has he been doing this? Who is she? Does he still love you? What did you do wrong?

A couple of days later, Lando finally replied to your text.

Lando: Just got back. I’m in my apartment

Your heart sank at the notification; you didn’t want to talk to him; you didn’t want things to be over. There was still a part of you that hoped everything was just a misunderstanding, hoping he wasn’t cheating on you and she was just a friend. But deep down you knew the truth, and the possibility of it being a mix-up was down to zero, and after he made it clear that he didn’t want to be in a relationship with you anymore, you decided to fulfil his wishes.

It was a long drive to his home; it felt longer than usual, but maybe you were just dreading the conversation you knew was about to happen.

You took a deep breath before knocking on the door, Lando opening it almost right away.

"Hey,” he said faintly, worried he got caught.

“Hi.” You entered the apartment you once thought you would move into and looked around. You had been there a million times, and so many of those times were special little moments you shared together, but right now it felt like you were disconnected from the space. “How was the triple header?”

“Not great- I don’t know. It was messy, I guess." He tried to give you a smile but stopped himself when he noticed your stare full of fury. “What did you want to talk about?”

Seriously? “I’m breaking up with you." Your voice was weak, but you did not dare let a tear slip past your waterline; he didn’t deserve to see you cry. 

“What?” The shock in his eyes looked so real that you almost believed him “Why?”

“Did you really just ask that?”

“So that’s it? We’re over?”

“Lando, come on, we’ve been over for a while." You stepped closer to him, pain and anger written all over your face as the tears struggled to stay on your eyes. “We didn’t even feel like a couple anymore. Lando, you forgot our anniversary, and that day you made it clear you wanted nothing to do with me. And to think I planned a beautiful night for us and bought you a great gift. Do you have any idea how stupid I felt?” 

“I didn’t know you were feeling like that.”

“Of course not, when have you ever listened to me anyway?”

Lando rolled his eyes “Okay, I understand, but we don’t have to break up, I already explained what happened that day, I was busy and completely lost track of time.”

“And I guess she doesn’t have anything to do with this?” You showed him the picture, his demeanour changing immediately.

“Y/N, I- I’m sorry, baby, I’m so sorry." His eyes and his voice softened as he tried to reach for you, but you turned around and wiped the tears that managed to leave your eyes, a million questions flooding your mind again.

“So it’s true." You were just confirming to yourself what you already knew. Anger and pain washed over your body. Why her? Why her when you’ve been nothing but perfect to the man you loved the most?

“Baby, I can explain.” 

You turned around to face him again “Who is she?” He shook his head, his eyes begging you not to make him say it while yours watered, “Who is she?” You repeated.

“You don’t wanna know.”

“Why? Cause I might find out you’re cheating?”

A few tears started to roll down his face, his hands desperate to hold yours. “I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Cause you’re gonna hate me even more." You stared at him, even more tears falling as you tried to think who the girl could be. 

“Did you two- did you sleep with her?” His nod was barely perceptible; if you didn’t already know the answer, you would’ve missed it. Maybe he was right; maybe it’d be better if you didn’t know. 

“I’m sorry, baby, I’m so sorry.”

“Stop it.”

“I know I fucked up, but she doesn’t mean anything to me, I swear.”

“Shut up, Lando. I just… I don’t understand.”

“Let me explain-”

“And I don’t care how many times you apologise, how do you expect me to forgive you?” You took a couple of steps back, trying to figure out what caused him to do such a thing. “Even if we stayed together and got married and started a family, how can I ever look at you and not think about that?”

"Baby, I want all of that, I want the rest of my life with you, like we talked.”

“That was before you ruined everything.”

“I know what i did is wrong-”

“Wrong?”

“But we can work this out.”

“What? No, Lando, stop.”

“Just give me another chance, please.”

“Is that why you've been so distant, huh? Was she here on our anniversary?” Lando didn’t say anything, and the flashes from Lnado’s knuckles turning white from holding the door closed that night creeped your mind. Your heart ached so much that every time you breathed deeply, it was scorching you to the core “How could you do that?”

“I shouldn’t have done that, I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologising.”

“You know I didn’t mean it.”

“Just stop… god.”

“Y/N just hear me out, I swear it only happened once.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? I know that’s not true. Do you know how many times I came to an unmade bed? And how many excuses you made?” He stayed silent. “I don’t care how many times it happened, you still did it and nothing is gonna change that.”

“I know.”

“You’ve been hurt before, right? What if I was the one cheating? Would you just forget it ever happened and come back to me?” Once again, he didn’t say anything. “No. Of course you wouldn’t. Lando, how could I ever forget what you did? Or everything you said to me when we were fighting, and the fact that you lied and- and cheated-”

“But you came all the way here.”

“Because I care, and you... you never cared, you never tried-”

“I care, I care so much. Baby, please, you have to believe me." He tried to reach out to you, but you pushed his hand away.

"No, you don’t, and if I’m here, it’s because I know after this we’ll never see each other again, we’ll never talk again and this just has to end.”

“But I don’t want it to end.”

“Well, you ended it when you cheated on me.”

He stared at you for a moment before continuing. “But… I want you, she didn’t mean anything to  me." He approached you again, his hope growing a little when you didn’t stop him. He put a strand of hair behind your ear, softly brushing your cheek. “I know I fucked up but I can’t go on without you, I just can't.”

“Well you have, countless times while I was left in the dark wondering if I had done something wrong, crying myself to sleep when I couldn’t get a hold of you, Lando, and in the meantime you were with her.”

“I’m sorry-”

“And you have the nerve to say all that shit to me, acting like I was suffocating you when in reality I was trying to save us!” You pushed him away.

“I’m so sorry.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Y/N, I’m sorry, please let’s talk about it.”

“Fine, let’s talk about it. Was she worth it?” He shook his head, ready to leave his pride behind as he kneeled in front of you and grabbed one of your hands. “What are you doing? Stop.”

“I promise it was an accident, it won’t happen again.”

“An accident? Lando, are you hearing yourself right now?”

“Please, don’t let me go." The grip on your hand tightened, pulling you closer to him.

“Isn’t that what you wanted?” 

“No. I don’t want anyone else, I want you, Y/N”

“You don’t have to worry about me anymore.”

“But everything I said... I meant it, I love you Y/N and every second we’ve been together has meant everything to me. Baby, you have to understand.”

“Liar.”

“I’m not lying, you know I’m not." You pushed his hand away, rolling your eyes when another tear rolled down his face. “I know I don’t deserve it but please... just one more chance and I can fix this.”

“Give you a chance? I gave you a chance when I believed your excuses, when I forgave you for cancelling every date we had planned, when I tried to understand why you locked me out, and when I almost forgave you for forgetting our anniversary, I gave you so many fucking chances!”

“But I swear it wasn’t like that, she meant nothing.”

“You’re unbelievable… god, what are you saying?”

“Just think about how great we are together,” he said, trying to hold your torso, but once again you stopped him. 

“Lando, stop that.”

“We’re a great team, aren’t we? We understand each other so well, we know each other better than anyone else, god, I’ll do anything, I swear.”

“No, it’s not gonna work.”

“Yes it will, and I’ll make sure of that.”

“No.” You were having a hard time blocking out how much love you still had for him, but you weren’t forgiving him; there was no way.

“I swear I don’t want anyone else." He held your hands and started kissing them, his lips giving you a sense of home that you missed. "Y/N, please, I love you.” 

You nodded weakly as you started crying again.

“You know I love you and I would do anything for you." He continued kissing you, a few tears falling on your hands. “Do you still love me?”

“I love you... Lan-” You released one of your hands from his grip, squeezing your eyes shut and covering your face.

“See? It will work, we will make it work." You shook your head; you were feeling stupid for almost falling for that. "Baby, look at me, it’s going to be okay, I promise.”

A moment of silence fell into the room as you collected your thoughts again, and he just looked at you hopeful that he could get you back. “Who is she?” You dared to repeat the question as you looked at him again.

He didn’t say anything for a few seconds, his voice barely above a whisper when he finally answered. "Annie.”

Annie, your flatmate Annie. She had never met Lando before you, and she wasn’t interested in who he was when you first told her you started dating him, so you were the reason they knew each other for all those times he picked you up from your place, and even then you never considered them to be friends; they barely exchanged any words when they ran into each other. You felt betrayed on a whole new level, not only by Lando but by her too. You had lived with her for so long, literally since the day you moved to Monaco, so you thought of her as one of your closest friends; how could she do that? And these past weeks, when she had been mourning your relationship with Lando, she was there the whole time, and she knew exactly what was happening.

“How long?”

You were getting annoyed at how long it was taking him to answer your simple questions. “The day we went to meet my parents... I drove to your apartment to pick you up, but you weren’t there yet.”

“So you did it at my place?” It wasn’t really a question, and you felt even more disgusted at the thought of them in your own home.

“It was one moment of weakness.”

“One moment of weakness?” He nodded, his hands now holding on to your hips. “But it didn't stop there, did it?”

“I’m sorry.”

You swiped the tears away as you prepared to ask the question you had been asking yourself for weeks. “What does she give you that I can't?”

Lando shook his head quickly. “Nothing, you’re everything I could ever ask for.”

“Then why did you do that?”

He didn’t have an answer; he didn’t really know how it happened or why it kept going, but he couldn’t deny he was enjoying it before he got caught. “I don’t know." He whispered.

“Do you love her?”

“No, of course not. I love you." He was holding you tighter, convinced that if he held you long enough, you would want to stay.

“Oh my god, I’m so stupid.”

“You know it didn’t mean anything, it was a mistake-”

“Get your hands off me, I’m leaving,” you said as you tried to free yourself.

“Baby, please don’t leave, you have to hear me out.”

“Lando, let go. I don’t wanna be here." Your words struggled to come out from how much you were crying. 

“Please don’t, I don’t wanna let you go." He looked up at you, his eyes begging for forgiveness. “Let’s just talk about it, yeah? Let me explain.”

“Save it, Lando, it’s over.” 

“I’m sorry, I won’t do it again. This is obviously my fault, so I’ll do whatever it takes to get you to stay, just please, one more chance is all I’m asking for.” You finally freed yourself, and your only goal was to go back to your apartment and cry all your pain away. You turned around and headed to the door; his hand tried to come to stop you, but you flinched away. You couldn’t bear to hear another word from him. "Baby, please, I love you.”

You turned around to face him one last time, spotting Lando still on his knees in the middle of his living room. “So you’ve said, but how can you hurt someone you claim to love so much?” He was about to say something, but you didn’t wanna hear it. “There’s nothing you can do to get me to stay, you threw everything away.”

“I know, my love, but-”

“I’m gonna leave and you’re gonna stay here, just… leave me alone, I don’t ever wanna see you again.”

You exited the room, leaving Lando alone and a complete mess. He regretted what he did, and he wanted to think that if you would just give him a chance to explain himself, you’d forgive him. But he knew that would never be the case and that his mistake was bigger than any apology; you were right to leave him.

He stared at the door for too long, taking in every emotion he was feeling: remorse, anger, pain, agony... he just felt like life was being sucked out of his body because he ruined the most important part of it, and there’s no one to blame but himself.

[trevorsturnioloappreciator]

How Soon Is Now?

Soft!Dom!Matt Sturniolo x Shy!Virgin!Reader

-Reader has experienced ridicule for being a virgin in the past, so when Matt reacts with nothing but acceptance, she finally feels ready to give herself to him

cw: Minors Do Not Interact virginity loss, established relationship, oral (f!receiving), daddy kink, praise kink, finger sucking, lots of pet names, vulgar language, titty sucking, penetration (fingering and p in v), talk of past shitty relationships and a little crying (like two paragraphs of angst), reader blacks out for like three seconds, squirt >:)

a/n: okay holy shit this is so long (literally that’s what she said) massive shoutout to @tinypinkrobot for helping proofread and giving me some tips!!

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You and your boyfriend Matt have been going steady for almost three months and everything was perfect. He was always doting on you, making sure you never went without, and going above and beyond to spoil you. Matt was perfect, so perfect it almost made you feel guilty.

The two of you hadn’t gone past heated make out sessions, it even took you the first couple weeks to get comfortable enough to let him really touch you. Finally, building the courage to take Matt’s large hand off your waist and placing it over your shirt onto your breast.

The thing was, you’d never gone past a kiss with a guy, Matt was your first boyfriend, before him it’d been high-school crushes and one sloppy kiss at a house-party, basically, the guy ate your face and squeezed your boob too hard.

As guilty as you felt, and as understanding as Matt was, you still hadn’t clued him into just how inexperienced you were. Anytime you thought to tell him you’re taken back to a time after graduation when you almost got your first boyfriend, that is until you told him you were a virgin.

The guy practically laughed you out of his house, thought it was “pathetic”, said he “knew how girls like you act” telling you in a much more vulgar way that you’d become attached after you both did it and that he just couldn’t handle that.

The sting of that memory stuck with you, his words felt like an absolute truth for every man, you still think about how you walked home that night sobbing. Matt had never once pressured you or even gave the impression that he was anything but the perfect man, but still, that night hangs over you.

Currently you’re snuggled up in Matt’s bed watching a movie while he’s in the shower. In this moment of solitude you take time to think. You wanted this, I mean really wanted it. The way Matt handles you when he kisses up your throat, pushing your hair back for full access to the column of your neck, his gentle hands as he caresses over your body; nothing at all like the guy in the bathroom of your best friends house.

All the evidence you had pointed to Matt being a caring, sweet and attentive lover, so you felt foolish at how hard you thought about all this. That’s when you make up your mind. As soon as the thought crosses over you, you hear the shower shut off and Matt’s walking through his en suite door, followed by a thick puff of steam. His wet hair is sticking to his forehead, looking a shade darker than normal, his white towel hangs low on his waist as rivulets of water drip down his exposed chest.

“Sorry, babydoll, left my change of clothes in here, I’ll be right back”, he says as he comes over to where you’re sitting up at his headboard to place a quick peck on your cheek. Before he walks away, you decide to cease this opportunity, I mean Matt looks like a fucking Michelangelo statue right in front of you.

Reaching out, you grab his arm as he uses your blanket clad knee to stabilize himself while he bent to kiss you, “Wait… wait…”, you’re losing confidence as you speak, but you need to do it, you need to get over your fear, for yourself.

Matt’s eyes narrowed in concern, sitting down next to you, completely forgetting that he’s practically naked as he reaches to hold your cheek, “What’s wrong sweetie, you okay?”, his brows furrowed, studying you. Inhaling a deep breath, you sit up straighter, “Matt… If I tell you something, d’you promise you won’t get mad?”, at this point your heart is beating out of your chest as you twiddle your fingers nervously.

The room feels too hot, your clothes too tight, everything around you making you feel exposed as you can’t even meet your boyfriend’s eye. By the way Matt shifts turning entirely to face your direction, you can tell he’s now entirely intrigued, if not a little anxious in his own right, “You can tell me anything, when have I ever gotten mad at you for that, for anything?”, he’s speaking slowly, unsure of what you’ll admit.

Letting out a shaky breath, you finally look up to his confused face, “I’m- I’m just nervous and I know I should’ve told you before you asked me out but I was- I just, I’m a virgin…”, you spit out the words at lightning speed, the minute they leave your mouth you’re looking back down to your lap, feeling your face get hot and your eyes prickle with tears.

“‘M sorry Matt, I don’t why i didn’t tell you, I’m sorry, I promise if- if we do it I won’t get attached, I won’t b-bother you, seriously.”, the frantic words spill out of you even faster than your tears do. “Hey, hey… princess look at me. Oh baby, it’s okay, I’m not mad at you. At all. You’re okay, sweetheart, enough with the crying please…”, Matt uses his thumb to wipe away your tears then moves his hand to pinch your chin between his thumb and pointer finger, directing you to meet his eyes, looking at his face all you can read is sympathy.

Offering you a sad smile, your boyfriend scoots closer to you, rubbing at your jaw with his thumb, “It’s all okay, babydoll, I’m telling you. And you believe me, right? Hm? Everything is just the way it was before you told me.”, he nods reassuringly, moving his hand to back of your head, pulling you onto his shoulder.

The second he pulls you to his embrace, you slump into him, arms locking around his waist as his left hand continues to caress over your hair, right arm rubbing up and down your back slowly. “Shhh, shh, sweetie pie, what made you think I’d be mad at you, huh? It makes me sad you’d even thought of that outcome…”, his voice is soft and soothing, it pulls you from your spiraling thoughts.

You collect yourself before straightening out to wipe your eyes and look at your boyfriend, “You really don’t care?… I just- thought guys don’t wanna do that… with someone like me.”, immediately Matt helps you to completely wipe the wetness from your cheeks as he listens intently as you speak.

Leaning forward, Matt meets your lips in a soft kiss, using his hand on the back of your head to deepen it. “I don’t mind, babydoll, ‘m serious, you’re my girl, okay? Doesn’t matter if I know a lil more than you, hm?”, you’re still a bit distracted by the kiss, but his reassurance still hits your ears, you move forward to catch Matt’s lips again, this time more impassioned than he’d let you before.

You slide your tongue against the junction of his soft lips, pushing through to lick through his mouth. A minute whine leaves you as he takes the kiss over, hand moving from the crown of your head, down to your face, the second his hand reaches your chin, his to guess invades your mouth, he moves his thumb from just under your chin, to the center of you bottom lip.

Matt pulls away, his eyes are tipped low with desire, lips kissed perfectly to a chapped pink, cheeks ruddy from the way you tried to take control over your kiss. Pulling back, disconnecting from his lips, you begin to pull your camisole off.

The cotton of your top passes over your head, leaving you in your thin, silky bralette. Matt puts his hands on your shoulders once you’re left more exposed than you ever have been in front of him. “Hey, hey, hey, what’re ya doin’, love?”, he chides, words more shocked than they are upset.

“You don’t need to do that, princess, you know I don’t expect that from you…”, he keeps his hands on you, rubbing up and down your shoulders.

“I know… I want to. Really bad.”, it makes you blush, saying these words out loud, especially to Matt, who you can tell just by the way he talks how much more experienced he is than you.

Matt’s lips quirk into a small, proud smile. “You sure, baby? And you know we can stop at any time, I won’t be mad, m’kay, I promise.”, nodding along to his words, reaching forward you push his slightly damp hair off of his face, admiring him. “I’m sure, Matt. You’re the only person I could ever see myself doing this with… I love you.”

Now it’s Matt who’s blushing fiercely, he locks his arms around you and pulls you gently into his lap, squeezing you into a tight embrace, and tucking his head into your neck. You can feel the smile on his face as he begins peppering small kisses across the expanse of your throat and down your shoulder, “I love ya so much, babydoll, I’m so proud of you for tellin’ me. ‘M gonna make you feel so good, hm?”

You let out an imperceptible sigh as Matt travels from your shoulder to the place where your neck meets your jaw, sucking a small bruise into a spot you didn’t even know about, the sensation makes you shiver as you feel goosebumps form over your body. “Please, need it, just- do what you want…”, your voice comes out tight, like someone else is controlling your breathing.

“Yeah? Need me to help you out, doll? Poor thing… Why don’t you lay down and tell me what you want from me, okay?”, before you can respond Matt is picking you up by the hips, and laying you down softly atop his thick comforter. You hit the bed with a soft huff, feeling like you’re underwater, the anticipation making your head spin.

Matt, still only wearing a towel wrapped tightly around his hips, comes to crawl over you, his arms hold him up him on either side of your head, as he looks down to your face. “Matt…”, you whine out the word, now feeling more needy than before, needing Matt to just do whatever he wants to you.

“C’mon, sweetheart, let me hear what’s goin’ on in your head, hm? ‘M sure you’ve thought about it, huh? What you want me to do with you…?”, he’s beaming a smug smirk down to you, moving from using his hands to keep him up, to rest heavily on his elbows. Matt’s body is now entirely blanketing you, his face close enough that he rubs his nose gently with yours before leaning sideways to kiss all along your face.

“I-���, your face screws up in embarrassment, of course you’d thought about it, it keeps you up at night how much you think about Matt’s hands, using his strength to overtake you, his lean body pressed against yours with nothing separating you.

“Want you ta show me what to do, use me how you want, I think about it… a lot, I think about how you talk to me, when you give me instructions and- and make sure I obey you, cause you wanna keep me safe. I think about what i-it would be like if you did it… during sex…”, you words break off into a sheepish whine, your cheeks are blazing with embarrassment. “Wan’ daddy to take care of me, please…”

At this point you imagine your face is as red as a firetruck, breath picking up as you turn to hide your face in Matt’s bicep. Matt lets out a soft chuckle, you can tell your answer pleased him. Matt bends his wrist lightly to pet at your hair, “Ya did such a good job, I’m happy to take care of you, babydoll. Such a pretty girl, all blushy and shy, my sweet, little girl…~”

Matt straightens up, now on his knees above you, “Can daddy take your clothes off, doll? That okay?”, when you nod your head in response, he reaches forward to grab your chin, smiling sweetly, “Let me hear you say it…”, you blush deeper as you speak, “Yes, please~”

“Aweee, that’s a good girl~”, he coos out his words as he watches your eyes slipped shut at his praise. “You like when daddy tells you what a good job you’re doin’, huh? You just keep following instructions and I’ll make sure you feel really good, baby, just need ya to stay there and let daddy take over…”, he’s nodding his head at you, the hand on your chin creeps up to place his pointer and middle finger over your lips.

Your lips separate by themselves, welcoming his two fingers to push into your mouth, Matt just barely enters the tips of his fingers through your lips. Using them to hook over your bottom teeth, opening your mouth ever so slightly as your curious tongue pokes out to lave against his digits.

“Fuuck”, his words slip out in an almost whisper, voice gravelly as he watches you lick at his fingers, eyes shy as you look up to gauge his reaction. “So obedient… giving in so good, so fuckin’ good, princess…”, as he speaks, he begins to breach further over your lips, fingers now one knuckle deep over your tongue, applying a slight pressure that causes your eyes to shut slowly.

Leaning over you again, Matt keeps his hand still as he kisses over your chin and the open corner of your mouth softly. “Okay, sweetie pie, ‘m gonna take off your clothes now, gonna treat you real good, alright?”, speaking around the intrusion in your mouth, you nod frantically as you respond in earnest.

Matt’s smile never leaves his face as he slowly slips his fingers out of your mouth, slithering to kiss down your neck to your sternum, where he slips a hand underneath you and expertly unclasps your bra, pulling your top off, revealing your naked chest to him. The groan Matt lets out is deep, almost like a growl, “Goddamn, princess, you’re so perfect, so beautiful…”

Matt slips both his hands under you, covering the expanse of your ribs while he takes one of your nipples into his mouth, sucking expertly as he lets his eyes slip closed. “Ah! Oh, Matt, fuck… feels- feels weird~”, he pops you out of his mouth, pulling away slightly as his hands move to cup your breasts, “Good weird? Want me to stop?”, you can tell by his easygoing voice that he’s genuinely curious, totally sincere about stopping at any point. “D-don’t stop, ‘s just sensitive, n-never really had a-anyone touch me there…”

Matt’s smile shines as he moves up to overpower your lips in a slow, passionate kiss. Asserting his dominance as his tongue slips into your parted mouth, every movement deliberate, savoring this moment. His mind races, losing himself in the feeling of your mouth working against his, remembering every kiss you shared before this moment— how different they felt from this, and how they’ll never feel quite like this again. The sudden realization makes him cherish the kiss, letting every movement etch into his mind, as though he were memorializing the innocence of what was before. It was like this kiss was solidifying the moment your relationship moves from something ever-changing and naive to a sound and unshakable force.

Pulling back, his lips delicately grazing your own, he whispers, “I love you, my girl. I’m always gonna take care of you, help you, teach you as best I can. This isn’t gonna change the way I see you. You’re always gonna be my best friend. The love I have for you isn’t gonna change, it’ll only get stronger, d’you understand? I don’t wanna scare you, or make you think I’ll be different after this. You can always tell me to stop if you don’t want to go any further, okay?”

The weight of his words flow over you, any nervousness you felt before being washed away as he reassures you, “I know, I trust you, Matt. I felt… different every other time I thought this might happen, but I’ve never felt that way with you. It was just me, holding myself back because of the way others have made me feel…”, the conviction in your voice makes Matt’s eyes soften, his hand coming up to smooth your hair off your forehead, laying a sweet kiss to your hairline.

“You don’t have to explain yourself, baby, I never thought any different of you because you didn’t want to have sex, and i certainly don’t think any different of you now, m’kay? Now just relax f’me, daddy’ll take care of everything, no more worrying, doll…”, his voice trails off as he moves back down your body, kissing over your tits, down in between them to lick and suck over your stomach, to the waistband of your cotton panties.

As he gets closer to your core he steps down to kneel on the floor next to his bed, grabbing your thighs to pull you to the edge of the bed. The maneuver causes you to let out a squeal, it’s at this moment, after you’ve been taken out of your head, that you realize just how wet you are, slick soaking through your white undies. You squirm at the thought of how close Matt is to your most vulnerable parts.

A whimper slips past your lips, attempting to squeeze your thighs together, but Matt isn’t having it, he tightens his hold, now snaking his hands up to slip his fingers into your panties, tugging them down, moving slow on purpose to tease you. Matt lets out a small chuckle at your desperation, your breathing picking up and the noises you make are now completely out of your control.

“So eager, love the way you move those hips, darlin’. Daddy’s gonna eat you out okay, I need you good and ready for me, so i can just slide inside you, hm? You ready, babydoll?”, the needy moan that escapes you is loud and high-pitched, “Yes, yes daddy, please. Please…~ anything~ anything you want…”

“So sweet, doin’ soo good, honey.”, his words are muffled as he now nuzzles into your naked hip, leaving a kiss there and trailing more down the inside of your thigh before finally reaching your throbbing core, he’s about an inch away from you, breath fluttering over you causing you to clench around nothing.

Your pussy is leaking and hot, you’ve never felt this turned on, to the point you don’t even think you need any prep, Matt could easily slip into you with no give, but the blinding smirk on his face shows you he isn’t just doing this for your sake. Matt gives you one last reassuring look before diving into you, he starts by licking a fat stripe over your entrance, a low humming slipping from him at your taste.

Locking his lips around your clit, he sucks and flicks his tongue ever so slightly before opening his jaw wider to move his bottom lip to practically make out with your dripping pussy. The noises his mouth makes are so obscene it makes you grip the blanket under you, panting and whimpering. Matt never takes his eyes off of yours as you watch him work and you can tell by the way his eyelids droop low, that he’s probably just as turned on as you.

After another five minutes of him sucking and worshipping you, he moves one hand off your waist, where he had been massaging from your thighs up to your breasts, to add his fingers to his ministrations on you. Matt keeps his mouth locked on your clit as he slides his middle finger down the center of your entrance, the cold digit causes you to shiver and whine.

Matt stops licking for one second to murmur out a gentle, “Shh, shhh”, before getting back to what he had been doing, this time he licks his fingers, warming them up before sliding one inside you, “Good job, babydoll, just gotta get ya ready for daddy…”

Matt spends about two minutes working you over with his finger before adding the second, the pressure is odd but it doesn’t take long before you’ve becomes used to it and Matt is now crooking his fingers, finding your g-spot in seconds. You shoot up, leaning up on your elbows and looking down to Matt like he just did a magic trick on you, before screwing your eyes shut again as he hits that same spot again, “Fuck that feels good, Matt, so- so hot, thank you… thank you~”, the entire sentence is one drawn out moan, words leaving you before you can even process what you’re saying it.

Placing your hand on top of his head, you lightly tug at his dark locks, finally peeling your eyes back open, you see his eyes squinting, suggesting he’s smiling at your small outburst. Matt pulls back, fingers stilling, “Are you ready for daddy’s cock?”

The sweet voice he uses to utter such filthy words has you moaning out again, rotating your hips to try and get his fingers to move inside you, to get him to do anything. “I’m ready, need daddy, need you to take me ‘n make me all yours… Please, I’ll be so good for you, promise…”

Slowly he takes his fingers out of you, standing up over you as you’re laid out naked before him. His clean hand holds onto the towel he wears and the other comes up to your mouth, “I know you’ll be good for me, I’ll make sure of it, babydoll. Already did such a good job lettin’ daddy fuck you with my fingers, hm?”, Matt speaks softly as he pushes his wet fingers down onto your tongue, slowly sliding in and out of your lips as your tongue moves around him, cleaning his fingers. Matt’s watching you so intensely that it makes you squirm, his eyes are glassy and his mouth is dropped slightly open in awe.

“That’s a good job, baby… How is it that my girl’s so innocent and filthy. Or are you just that obedient for me? Huh?”, you nod, fingers still in your mouth as you continue subconsciously moving your hips, eager to be full again.

Matt takes notice of your movements and decides to take pity on you. “Okay, desperate girl, how about I take care of ya now?”, removing his fingers from your mouth, wiping your saliva off on his towel before taking it off entirely.

Your jaw drops as he reveals himself to you, all you could think was how big he looked; his thin waist has a light brown happy trail, leading down to his perfectly chiseled v-line, he’s so fucking gorgeous it makes your head hurt.

Matt’s cock is hard and leaking, you can tell, even in your limited experience, that he’s probably been hard since the beginning of this entire endeavor. The tip is a dark pink and it’s shiny with pre cum as it stands at attention just under his belly button. The base is thick and lined with pulsing veins, your mouth waters at the sight, before you snap out of your thoughts, embarrassed for staring so long but still not able to pull your eyes away.

“‘S really big…”, is all you can think to whisper out to him as he looks rather sheepish standing in front of you on full display. “Is it gonna hurt…?”, the shakiness in your voice was unintentional as you begin to try and wrap your head around how that is gonna fit in you.

Matt steps closer to you, coming to sit next to your legs as they dangle off the bed. He rests a warm hand on your stomach, sliding it up and down the side of your waist comfortingly. “Sometimes it can hurt, yeah, but I promise ’m gonna really slow, okay? I’m not gonna push you to take more than you’re able to, I need you to remember this isn’t about my pleasure, okay?”, he moves his hand up to cup your cheek, rubbing his thumb under your eye with a gentle smile.

The nervous tension slowly lifts from your face at his soothing touch and kind words, “O-okay, I’m ready…” Matt sits up looking down to study your face again, “You’re one hundred percent certain? You’re not just doin’ this cause you think it’s what i want?”, he raises his eyebrows, expecting a full answer.

“Yes, I’m really sure, I need you. I want this.” you mean it, sure it was a little scary to step into such unfamiliar territory, but if Matt’s with you, you know you’re strong enough to face it. “Good girl, thank you. I got you now, gonna make you feel good.”, as he speaks he stands up, grabbing his discarded towel and laying it over his bed just in case, before lifting you up to place you on top of it.

Matt stands over you a second, admiring your flushed complexion and mussed hair, before he leans in, planting himself between your thighs and locking your lips together. As he lays between your legs you feel his hard dick laying on your stomach, breaking from the kiss, you look down to see him covering almost half of your abdomen causing you to moan out quietly, “Daddy, please, need you inside me…”, looking up into his eyes, you see how confident he is, and it helps transfer the feeling to you.

Sitting back a bit on his one knee, he reaches to his nightstand to grab a condom, “This’ll make it easier, doll, but your so wet I think we’ll be just fine…~”, his voice is silky smooth and does nothing to calm the heartbeat you feel between your legs.

You watch as he rolls the latex over himself, beginning to feel butterflies of anticipation swirl in your belly, whining as he now slaps his member onto your clit, rubbing in between your folds to collect your wetness. Matt analyzes your expression as he slowly toys with you, just almost sliding in, before pulling back out again; testing the waters.

“Matt- Please put it in, I need it in me, don’t even care if it hurts, please~”, your mindless babbling brings a sympathetic smile to his face, placing his hand onto your cheek, before finally slipping himself in. The gasp you let out causes him to stop with just the tip in, “You okay, baby~”, he drawls, still unmoving as you adjust to the intrusion. “Mmh, Ah… ‘s big…”, you’re panting as you slowly move your hips, getting used to the feeling. “More, more please…”, Matt seems skeptical of your confidence but complies with your request, leaning forward as he slides just another inch in, kissing all over your face, resting his hand on your throat, not choking or squeezing, just a light enough pressure for you to know he’s there.

“Takin’ me like a champ, darlin’, such a good girl~ you like how that feels? Can you feel how hard daddy is inside you? Hm?”, you nod and furrow your brows at the strange feeling, Matt was right, you could see how maybe this could hurt, but his pace is giving you more than enough time to adjust to his size.

After a minute of Matt slowly pushing himself almost imperceptibly into you, you finally break; “Please, you can fuck me, need it bad, I’m ready, Please~”, Matt lets out his own low moan at your pleading, “Fuck, princess, so perfect, gonna fuck you now, just like you deserve, so patient and polite…”, his words are trailed closely by a deep groan as he pulls you back into a kiss.

You realize the kiss is meant to be a sort of distraction as Matt pushes all the way to the hilt, you almost scream into his mouth at the feeling of his cock filling you to the brim. Matt pulls away at the noise, catching your eye with concern dripping off his features, you notice and immediately reassure him, the last thing you want is for him to pull out.

“‘M okay, ‘m okay just- fuck- so good, filling me up, God, ‘s so good~”, all the air feels punched out of you, but the way his dick curves inside you, sitting heavily against that spot that makes you see stars, you never want him to stop.

Once your words are out in the open, it gives Matt all he needs to finally start moving. Pulling out about three inches, he puts his hand on your jaw to keep your gaze steadily on him, holding direct eye contact as he snaps his hips into you over and over. The sound of your overlapping moans and the slap of his hips drilling into yours is almost pornographic. “Goddamn, princess, yer so fuckin’ tight, grippin’ me perfectly… Fuck I could stay in this pussy forever, baby.”, his words tumble from him as his stare burns into you. You’re trying your hardest to keep your eyes on him, but the way he’s fucking into you makes you feel like you’re floating through a dream. “Daddy, mm ‘s- so good, I feel- fuck… like you’re in my stomach… feels so fucking g-good…~”

The world around you turns blurry, like the only thing in focus on the whole of the earth is Matt’s frame above you, treating your body like it’s his. It makes your eyes roll back, a tight, hot coil wrapping through your belly. “M-Matt- fuck- feels… I feel s-something…”, your words only spur Matt on to go even deeper, “I think you’re gonna cum, babydoll, you wanna come on daddy’s dick? Let daddy take over so you can let go?”, his words are accentuated by each deep, slow thrust jostling your body as you try your best to nod. “Please, can I?”

Before answering Matt presses a firm hand over the thrusting bulge in your stomach, pulling a high-pitched moan out of you. “‘Course, babydoll, you can cum~”, his voice is edging on mischievous as he pushes you even further into ecstasy, clearly very proud of himself for the mess he’s made of you.

The minute he utters the words, you’re gripping tightly onto his arms, lightly scratching up and down them, as your orgasm rips through you, you feel your entire body convulsing as you see stars popping in front of your eyes. Matt stills in you, pushed all the way in and leans over to cover you in his body.

You must’ve blanked out for a second, as you come to, you look up to see Matt’s angelic face looking down at you, petting your head. “You back with me, princess?”, groggily you nod, still trying to catch your breath. “You’re okay, just a little too intense for you I think…” he leans down to your ear and you absently notice he’s still inside you, “You squirted, babydoll.”, he whispers, pulling away to flash you a devilish smirk, causing you to blush deeply.

“You did so good, ‘m really proud of you~”, he coos as he nuzzles against your cheek, “Gonna pull out now, okay?”, you nod along blearily, wincing as he pulls away to now stand up. “Hurts…”, your voice comes out in a whine as you reach your arms out to him.

“You’re sore, princess?”, he frowns “Want me to run you a bath? You gotta get up and use the bathroom anyway. Daddy’ll carry you.” Nodding gratefully at his insistence, you let yourself be scooped into his arms, wrapped in a fuzzy blanket and brought to sit on the counter while Matt fills his tub.

“Thank you for trusting me, sweetheart, it means everything to me. I love you.”, Matt whispers as he stands between your legs, your head resting on his chest as he holds you tightly.

°❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫ ≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈°

tags: @idrk2292 @m11rx @mattslolita @mattssslutbby @matts-girlfriend @nataliapaine

@444sturns

(these last two blogs weren’t available to tag for some reason; went a sort of roundabout way to tag but idk if it works)

[sage-nebula]

I've been suicidal many times in my life, and while I could talk about those experiences, given what this post is about, I'd rather talk about something else.

My boss at my previous job was not just my boss. He was my friend, my mentor. I'd met him as a student employee; I still remember the day I went in for my interview, and I asked to speak with "Mr [name]," and the other student employee who answered the door made a face and said, "Hey, Mr [Name], this girl is here to see you" when he let me in because my boss never wanted us to be so formal with him. We were on a first-name basis with him, always. I was nineteen, and super nervous interviewing for my first job that wasn't retail or food service, but he cracked jokes and made me feel welcome. He treated all of us like that.

He was just a really good man. He always stood up for us, every time the university tried to do something that would make our lives harder or less safe. I made a Facebook status once about how I was harassed by a gas station employee near the university, and he commented telling me he'd bring his bat if I needed it. When one of the supervisors ended up overstepping boundaries in a big way with us student employees, he worked overtime to make sure that we would all be safe. When I got promoted to a supervisor position after graduation, and took it upon myself to oversea the yearly Secret Santa tradition for the students (meaning I didn't participate because otherwise I would know who my Secret Santa was), he decided he wasn't letting me go without a present and got me one anyway, despite my insistence that it wasn't necessary.

Unfortunately, he had his own demons to fight. He was going through difficult stuff in his personal life. He told me a lot about it; I was a confidant for him, and at one point he told me I was the only person he could speak to about any of it. More unfortunately still, as much as I wanted to be there for him, I was also struggling to keep my own mental health on track. It was around this time that I was looking into starting antidepressants / anti-anxiety medication for the first time because of how much I was struggling, and I was really focused on getting all of that sorted so that I could stop being tempted by the trains I heard pass by my home every night. Because of this, I didn't check in on him regularly. And so, when his boss called me one morning before my shift was supposed to start and told me that he had taken his own life, I was consumed by more than just shock and grief; I was crushed by guilt.

You see, I blamed myself. Largely because he had told me I was the only one who could confide in, I couldn't help but think that if I had checked in on him more regularly, if I had been there, this wouldn't have happened. I could have prevented it. I could have saved him. He wouldn't have taken his own life, and it wouldn't have been one of his young daughters who found him like that. Not only had I lost a friend of nine years, but I felt like I failed him.

I know now that isn't the case. There were many factors involved, not the least of which being it turns out I wasn't the only one he confided in after all. But it took me a long time to reach that point—a long time until I could honestly say that I didn't feel like it was my fault.

In the midst of depression and suicidal ideation, it can be incredibly hard to see the importance that you have in other people's lives—the place that you have there, that no one else can fill. I know this intimately, because it is something that I struggle with regularly. But even if you can't see it, you have to hold in the forefront of your mind that the importance is there. The impact will be felt. Not only do people care about you, but those closest to you will hold the weight of responsibility for your life on their shoulders for a long time. If nothing else, you don't want that for the people you care about, do you? You don't want to do that to them, do you?

You are not the only one harmed by your suicide. In fact, you're the one who will feel the impact the least. Death doesn't hurt the deceased; it only wounds the living. That's why we have funerals: it's for the sake of those left behind. But no amount of funerals or celebrations of life can assuage the pain left by a suicide. It doesn't help. Notes don't either.

If you're in a place where you're ideating, reconsider. Reach out to someone close to you. Tell them where you are, mentally, and have them come be with you. Believe me when I say that they would much rather sit awake with you all night, than wake up the next morning to a message that you're gone.

Give us the chance to be there for you. It's all we ask.

periodic reminder that your death by your own hand will wreak more havoc on the lives of those you know than you are ever capable of imagining and if you need a sign not to kill yourself this is it. people care more than you know & i am one of them

[ajellybee]

Tamed: Sukuna x Fem!Reader

⟢ CW!!: NSFW MDNI, 3.8k words, not proofread, excuse typos.. Freak frat boy Sukuna, virgin fem reader, college au, attempts of plot, no protection WRAP IT UP CHAT!!!, first time, cunnilingus, girl idk if thats all. You get the idea!! Virgin pussy so good you domesticated your whore of a best friend.

⟢🐝notes: this is my first time trying to do like, a full-fleshed fic so it might be a little rough…hope you enjoy tho!!! 

The HC that this was based off of here!

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“Hey, girl. You’re Sukuna’s friend right”. Not only has this girl been your lab partner all semester, but you guys also shared classes freshman year. You rolled your eyes because you know what’s coming next. Sukuna and you have been friends since junior year of high school. You got stuck with him for a project and you guys kind of just stuck. Sukuna also has a reputation for himself, being the class whore, even in high school, but since you guys started college it's gotten..so much worse. Even when he was a freshman the senior girls wanted a piece of him. 

You on the other hand were not as familiar in his field of expertise. Sure there were boyfriends here and there but you never went ALL the way, they were too eager to get their dicks wet and didn't care anything about your pleasure, so the virginity is still intact!! 

“Yes I know him, no he doesn’t want you, he’s with someone” It wasn't an entire lie. He was always down for a good fuck and he changes girls like clockwork, but he mentioned “scoring a hottie” earlier. The girl’s smile and friendly attitude towards you disappeared as if it was never there. Really it was annoying, dealing with your best friend’s shit. At this point, he needs to make announcements when he’s ready for the next girl. 

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“Sukuna I swear to every god out there, if one more girl approaches me trying to get in your pants, I'm killing you and them myself” He’s lying across your dorm bed scrolling through his phone. When he is not on his freak nasty agenda, he could be found in your room. You were able to score a single and he isn’t all too fond of his roommate. Seemingly not really listening to you he continues to scroll, causing you to kick his side. He thought it was funny, cute almost, how upset you got over this. It was the same argument every other week. He just wishes it came from a place of jealousy not inconvenience. 

“Woman I have no control over that. Not my fault this dick makes them crazy” he smirks at you making you scoff.

“God you're disgusting...get off my covers you’re dirty” you playfully(kind of) try and kick him off the foot of your bed. He quickly grabs your feet and pins them under his body, not budging despite your attempts to pull them free. 

“Don't be grouchy cuz you haven't gotten laid yet, brat” 

“Girl you fuck enough for the both of us, and like five more people. I’m good, trust.” You put emphasis on the last bit as you finally tug your feet free. “freak…”

“Anyways, look this was the girl I was telling you about” He shows you an Instagram page on his phone. Sukuna looked for any flash of jealousy in your face, but you gave him nothing. You used to like him back in High school, but liking him hurt too much. With every new girl and every story he’d tell you of said girl ripped away at you. To protect yourself you buried that feeling way way WAY deep down and you're fine with your relationship as it is now. Now you were indifferent, it's his life. Whatever. 

“Oh she’s pretty, how long is this one gonna last tho” 

“Don't know. She’s fine as fuck so maybe two weeks?” Again, no reaction to his statement, at least not the one he wanted. Sukuna? oh sukuna wanted you bad, but you never showed interest, if anything it felt like the opposite, and he didn't want to mess up what he did have with you, so he never pushed. 

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For the next couple of days you've been, unwillingly, thinking about sex. Blame ovulation or blame the overwhelming talk of sex in your friend group ever since your best friend lost her virginity. But you really saw no point in trying again, with how disappointing and unwilling all your past intimate (if you can even call it that) experiences have been. The talk you had with Gojo didn’t help either. You made a small comment and he poked and prodded until you spilled everything, even the part that you’ve been craving that experience. 

“Well, you could ask Toji, You know that one senior. I heard he loves virgins!” That’s what the idiot told you, sure was a joke, but it could work. Toji, much like sukuna, has a reputation for being a campus whore, but his favorite go-to-girls, were virgins. He always boasted about all the V-cards he took, and how good he was at it, ruining them for their future partners. But what has also been running through your mind was what Shoko told you.

“It would be better if you had sex with someone you trust?”

“You’ve been friends with Sukuna for a long time, no? Why not him?” suguru added.  You sat on that for a long time too. Sukuna was your best friend, and you do trust him. From the stories he’s told you himself you wouldn’t be left disappointed. The thing is, Sukuna never showed interest in you, strictly platonic. Sure he never gave up the chance of a good fuck, but with you being a virgin or him not seeing you in that light because of your friendship, the “what ifs” drove you insane, but after much deliberation, you came up with a conclusion, and hey, the worst he could do is say no. You got to your dorm and built up the courage to call him.

“Oh?? I thought you were avoiding me. You miss me now?” you could hear the annoying smirk on his face. 

“You know what never mind” you were ready to hang up, deciding on plan B, but as you pulled your phone away he interrupted.

“Okay okay, what's up?” Sukuna always dropped whatever he was doing for you, even if that meant not hooking up with the girl he was telling you about. He quickly pushed her out ignoring all her protests and angry huffs. Maybe you saved him cuz her whining was pissing him off.

“Can you come over?” Your face burned knowing what you were going to ask once he got there. You were determined to get it over with, and you had a plan B if he said no. no biggy no biggy… you just need to ask your best friend to fuck you. 

Sukuna arrived at your door quicker than you expected (he was already on his way to your dorm before you even asked him to go over). Opening the door, you let him in and he immediately got comfortable sitting on the edge of your bed.

“Okay, so what's up?” He’s pretending to be normal about it. But with the way you sounded over the phone he was thinking a million things and expecting nothing at the same time, but what you would say next will stop his heart. 

“Let me speak, no interruptions.” You waited for confirmation, catching on Sukuna nodded and waited for you to continue. It was like floodgates opened the way you confessed “Okay good. So… I want to lose my virginity. And, and I trust you the most out of everyone I know. It's okay if you say no, I won't take it to heart and besides, I have a plan B so it’s totally, totally fine.” it didn't feel as bad once you finished, although you didn't mean to add that last part. What happens, happens. You're comfortable with your relationship with sukuna so this should mean nothing to him, so you thought. Sukuna on the other hand, was not feeling the same relief, well he was until you mentioned a plan B.

“Plan B? And who the fuck is that” he stood up towering over you, eyebrow arched. 

“Oh well, gojo told me about Toji..you know him” The way he looked down on you was doing something, you felt something you hadn’t felt from another person in a while, Arousal. 

“Gojo is an idiot don't ever take advice from him” Sukuna regained a little of his composure after recalling your words. So he was plan A? “So you want me to fuck you, baby?” his hands found their way to your waist, pulling you to his chest. He liked the way you looked up at him. 

“Yes..” it came out barely a whisper, but sukuna wasn't having that.

“Sorry? What was that?” he leaned his ear down towards you. Oh so he’s gonna tease? You should have known.

“damn it.. Fuck, Yes, Sukuna. I want you” The words came out so breathy and desperate it surprised you. Sukuna noticed it as well and that fueled him even more as he slid his hands under your shirt and up your back. His warm hands felt like fire across your skin. He pushed you flush against his chest as his lips brushed against yours, breath fanning your face. 

“You gonna undress or do you want me to do it for you” a snicker left his lips as he watched you pout.

“Kuna be nice…” but nonetheless you stepped back and slowly peeled off each article of clothing, revealing more and more to sukuna. The tightening in his pants became more apparent once he saw you completely bare. He knew you'd be beautiful, but this level of imperfection felt illegal. Every peak and curve of yours looked so plush and soft, he wanted to kiss every inch of you. He wanted to caress your hips and feel as the goosebumps rose on your skin. But it wasn’t like him to voice all of that. Approaching you again, he leaned down and brushed his lips on yours again, but this time he kisses you. 

“Nice rack” Ignoring the sarcastic response you gave him in return, he reaches up to cup one of your breasts feeling the weight of it. His thumb brushed over your pebbling nipple, and the soft sigh you left out was better than he ever imagined. Sukuna pulled you towards your bed, making you lay back on your pillows. He pulled your thighs apart, but you quickly snapped them shut. “Well, how will you lose your V-card like that, let me see baby?” he slapped your thigh lightly urging you to open up again. Once you do he groans as you spread your lips for him, already so wet there were strings of arousal connecting. The two of you stayed like that for a while, you spreading yourself for him and Sukuna watching every twitch and clench. “Have any of them made you cum before?” you shake your head. He wanted to hunt them all down, but that’s for another time. “Have you ever made yourself cum?” you nod. “Then show me, sweetness.” he leans back on his heels. Sukuna had dreamed of being in this situation for so long, he’s going to make the most of it. 

“Kuna…I-” he raises his eyebrow at you again waiting for you to follow instructions. As instructed you brought one hand to circle around your clit. The way his eyes focused on the way you circled your bundle of nerves made even more slick drip from your pussy. You brought your other hand up to pinch and pull on one of your hardened nipples. Sukuna couldn't help but palm at his bulge, the ache too much to ignore as you sped up. 

“Put your fingers inside” he urged nearly drooling

“But that's never felt good when they did it” you whine moving your fingers faster. You were already close like this. Between the feeling of your own fingers and the way he watched, was enough to send you over the edge, but that was cut short. Sukuna huffed and slapped your hand away. The feeling of your orgasm depleting ripped a sob from your throat, but you were quickly shut up by one of his fingers prodding at your hole. 

“I'm not them” and with that he ducked his head between your thighs and watched the way your cunt sucked his finger in, just begging for another. He grew dizzy with the sweet musk that was coming from you. Sukuna could not believe he was face to face with what he dreamed about. His lips made their way to your pulsating bulb, giving it gentle kisses before enveloping it completely and giving you a harsh suck. You've never been touched like this before and this new sensation sent electricity throughout your whole body. Why didn’t you ask Sukuna to do this sooner? The rumors about him were true. 

“K-Kunaa, moree. M-more” your back arched so prettily for him when he added another finger, saying something about “yer greedy cunt” but the pleasure he was giving you was so overwhelming you couldn’t really focus on anything. He moved away from your clit down to get a taste of you, thumbing at your bundle of nerves while finally getting a taste of your honey pot. The groans he let out went straight to your cunt making you ooze more, earning more groans of approval. 

“Mm, you taste so sweet~. Can't believe it took so long for me to get a taste” he watched your face contort into that of pleasure and he wanted so badly to sink inside you, but he was enjoying being between your thighs too much to quit now. As soon as he started to fuck his tongue inside of your hole he couldn’t help but rut his hips against your sheets. The taste of you was making sukuna absolutely drunk. Never in his life has some pussy made him so desperate to nearly cream in his own boxers. He made mental notes of every reaction you had, recording every twitch and shiver you had to memory. 

You heard stories but you didn’t know just how messy of an eater he was. The sounds of him devouring you were so sinful and embarrassing, but the sound of him slurping and lapping at your cunt brought you closer and closer to cloud nine. If it wasn't for the vice grip you had on Sukuna’s pink locks or the way he pinned you down by your thighs you fear you’d simply float away. And oh when he locked eyes with you as he pinched your clit you saw a glimpse of the pearly gates. Your thighs clamped around his head as he drank everything you gave him. He continued to lap at your twitching pussy pushing you towards overstimulation.  If sukuna had it his way he would have spent another three hours with his face buried in your cunt, but you were desperately trying to push his head away with soft moans of “kuna please”.  Reluctantly he parted away from you with a kiss to your clenching hole and sat back on his knees admiring his handy work. Your pussy was a wet mess of your slik and his spit and oh did it make his dick jump with the way you lazily palmed at your breast, pupils completely blown as you wait for what you wanted, what you needed from him. 

“S-sukuna that was ssoo good” You watched as he whipped your remaining juices off his mouth and chin smirking wildly.

“Told you I wasn’t like those little boys you fucked around with” he leaned down capturing your lips in a passionate kiss that took no time to develop into a clash of tongue and teeth. The taste of yourself on his tongue made you moan into his mouth. The throbbing you felt started to become more and more unbearable as he kissed down your neck biting and nibbling here and there.

“Fuck… hurry I wanna feel you” You spread your legs making more room for him, bucking your hips up in desperate attempts to feel him. Sukuna groaned at the sight, wasting no time to discard his clothes, freeing his aching erection from the confines of his sweats. The size of him made you drip even more. How could you crave something so much when you've never had it? You don’t know but the need for him is burning through you. You wanna taste him, taste the pretty pearlescent pre that leaks from his tip in fat globs, lick the vein running on the underside of his cock, suck on the tip, feel the weight of him in your mouth, and see if he lets out pretty moans of your name. But you’ll save that for next time, hopefully, there will be a next time. Without realizing it you began to rub your clit as you watched him, his voice snapped you out of the trance.

“Cock drunk already? Playing with that pretty pussy just from the sight of my cock, oh I'm flattered” he cooed as he crawled back between your legs, heavy cock bobbing with his movements. His arrogance always got to you, but in this setting it made you crave him more. His cockieness made your cunt throb with anticipation. All you did in response was whine, something sukuna wasn't used to. No snarky sarcastic comeback, no punches, just whines and your hands desperately trying to pull him closer and it was driving him absolutely insane. He grabbed the base of his cock and lined it up with your entrance, dragging the tip up and down your slit and circled around your swollen clit a couple more times. The warmth radiating off of you felt soo good on him, but you guided his face to look back up at you causing him to stop his movements. 

“ ‘Kuna...w-wait. Please, could you be gentle?” the question came out barely audible, the vulnerability made your cheeks burn. He smiled in return, not his normal shit-eating grin, but one of sincerity. 

“ ‘Couse pretty baby. Need you to enjoy your first time, cant ruin my rep now can I?” he leaves a kiss on your forehead, and then goes down to capture your lips, not the clash of teeth and tongue as before. This one felt like more. In truth sukuna cared nothing for his reputation, as of right now he wanted to make you feel as good as possible. The newfound gentleness was new territory for him, but for you it felt like he needed to take his time and do things right. After giving you reassurance and promises of taking care of you, you gave sukuna the “okay” he needed to finally push into you. He felt the way you tensed up at the intrusion, but he was quick to shush you, kissing the tears away as he played with you clit to distract you from the stretch with each inch he sank into you. 

“Oh f-*hic*-uck, it’s...you’re so much I-. more please more” The feeling of him pressed all the way in you was nothing like you’ve felt. The stretch melted from uncomfort to unfathomable pleasure and you needed more. The twitch you felt from him inside you let you know that he felt just as good. In one swift motion, he pulled out just to the tip and pushed back in, the drag of him against your walls making you clench.

“Fuck your so t-ight even after all that work. You gotta relax… baby, f-fuck” his brows knitted together. The vice grip you had on him is going to make him cum prematurely, and he can’t have that. You tried your best to relax some but the way he fucked into you was way too good, and when he angled his hips up it was over. Your breath hitched, you've never reached that spot yourself and now you were seeing stars with the way he abused it. Over and over he bullied himself into you and right to that spongy spot. The moans you let out of his name only fueled sukuna more, rutting into you faster and harder. He promised to be gentle but the way you squeeze and drip around him made that impossible. The sound of your squelching pussy and his balls smacking against your ass was intoxicating, addicting. The sudden fluttering of your walls broke sukuna out his trance. 

“Kunnaaa I-Ithink..c-cum. I’mgonna cum” you moaned and moaned as you wrapped your arms around his neck pulling him down for a kiss. Your moans were swallowed up by him in the messy kiss, mixed drool rolling down your chin. He pulled away pressin his forehead against yours whispering praises on how good you're making him feel and how good you're taking him.

“If you're gonna cum, cum. Lemme see what pretty face you make when you feel good” and the huskyness of his voice was the last push you needed to cream all over him. You arched off the bed, eyes rolling to the back of your head as silent moans left you. The spasms of your walls hurled him towards his own release. The way you try and milk him and suck his cock back in makes his thrusts sloppy. “Oh fu-ck, fuck. Youfeelsogood. So good. Virgin pussy is mine, taking my cock so well. Tell me its mine, yeah? Mine to fuck mine to- shit im gonna cum, whe-” his babbles get cut off before he can even finish his question.

“In-inside. Please i wanna feel you inside” and at that moment Sukuna makes a mental note to delete his booty call list. You are all he wants, all he needs. With the last remnants of his composure, he folds you completely in half, reaching even deeper than before. He felt so impossibly deep you swear you could feel his cockhead in your womb.  

“Fuck you're too good. Want me to fill you up? Fill up your pussy, yeah? Augh! Are you c-cuming again? Oh Oh-” he moans the loudest he’s ever had as he falls over on you. His body going completely stiff as thick ropes or his hot cum fill you to the brim. Sukuna was derailed by how caught off guard he was by his own orgasm. He has never came as hard as he did, body trembling as he tried to ride out both your highs. And oh he came so much, you feel both your releases oozing out before he even pulls out. The two of you stay like that for a little while, kisses here and there. Coos and caresses exchanged. 

“Thank you, Ryo…I think I get why you're a whore now.” and you break into a fit of giggles as he rolls his eyes in response. 

“Yeah whatever. You shoulda let me hit sooner baby.” he said kissing the corner of your mouth

“Baby? You called me that a lot. Am I your baby?” you raised an eyebrow jokingly, attempting to tease him,

“You wanna be? Sweetheart just say the word and im yours. All yours, Only yours” he was serious this time, no hint of playfulness, no teasing. 

“Take me out on a date”

“I already started planning it”

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

⟢🐝notes: Sooor sorry it took so long chat. Hiii new followers hiiiii, sorry if you were waiting on this for too long （；´д｀）ゞ. I would blame college and work but like, also i've been doing nothing but play stardew 🌚. I HOPE IT WAS OKAY!!! Again im always open to feedback! And maybe i’ll do requests?? Idk if i have time ill do it. I think asks are open? Im fairly new to creating on here so idk...

Okay baiiiiiii (≧∇≦)ﾉ

[starryjake]

thinking about toxic situationship!heeseung :(

you’re by far his favorite out of all the girls he fucks but he’s too cocky to let you know that. in the back of your mind, though, you know. you can’t imagine that he takes his other girls out for late night ramen or lets them sit on his lap and watch him play video games.

you can’t imagine he’s as gentle and sweet during aftercare with anyone else. in fact, you really hope he isn’t. you hope he kicks out all the other girls he sleeps with as soon as he’s done with them. you hope that he doesn’t let them spend the night like he does with you, even going as far as to make you breakfast or take you out the next day.

every time he’s with another girl, he can’t stop thinking about fucking annoying they are and can’t help himself from comparing them to you. he knows you would be so much better: better at sucking his dick, better at riding him, just your pussy in general was better.

he’d text you when he was hanging out with other girls, not even waiting for them to leave the room but doing it right next to them. he didn’t care if they could see, even when he was texting you about how bad they were and how he wished he were with you instead.

heeseung: this blows

y/n: whys that?

heeseung: bc she isn’t you baby

y/n: you could always leave and come over :)

heeseung: aww my girl wants me to ditch this chick and come fuck her instead? is that what you want, little princess?

y/n: fuck hee…please :(

he could not say no to you. 10 minutes later and he’s ditched the random girl he was with and was instead pounding you into your mattress, grunting loudly as you clenched around him.

“fuck yeah, baby,” he moaned, hips drilling into you. “you’re such a good girl. so much fucking better than anyone else.”

and you took it so well, eating up every last word.

he also loved that you didn’t talk to any other guys. you just wanted him and only him so, so badly, and maybe if he did relationships, he would choose you to be his girlfriend. but, he didn’t date and he made sure you were aware of that from the start your situationship. but the point was, he loved that you were still loyal to him, not even wanting to talk to another guy because they just weren’t heeseung. no one did it like him.

no one ate you out until you were squirting everywhere and shaking like he did. no one fucked you until your eyes were rolling into the back of your head and drooling onto his sheets like he did. no one made you feel like passing out from intense pleasure like heeseung.

you liked him. you were probably in love with him. you hated knowing he saw other girls and he loved knowing it made you upset. he loved knowing that you liked him enough to get so jealous of other girls.

again, he would never tell you that he couldn’t give less of a shit about the other girls. in fact, he would purposely use them just to make you jealous, fucking them for the sole reason of knowing you would hate it. your jealousy was what got him off because it showed that you cared about him, that you wanted him all to yourself.

he thought about you every time he thrusted his cock inside another girl’s pussy. he thought about how much tighter you were than them. how much warmer, wetter, and more delicious you were.

heeseung liked you a lot too. he was also probably in love with you and he realized that when he was finishing on the tits of someone else and moaned out your name instead of theirs.

-

like sorry i just needed to get this off my chest bc heeseung is FUCKING WITH ME TODAY!!

anyway how are y’all? :3

[luludeluluramblings]

dream team back. we’re currently yapping central again (per usual)

both of us are straight up in a tim drake brainrot spiral too!!! he’s a delightful little weirdo. a strange little gentleman if you will.

tim is such a funny little guy!!! he also makes a solid yandere. you can’t outsmart him. you can’t escape someone who can find everything about you. On the upside, I feel like he’d be happy to spoil his darling. also he’d be like, really considerate in weird ways??? I mean like you don’t get privacy (or you get the illusion of it maybe but not actual privacy.)

like yeah you’re always being watched in some way, but the man has committed every single one of your favorites and least favorites to memories. He knows what clothing you like, what specific features you look for in everything, and if he doesn’t, by god, will he learn. He knows your favorite song, and he knows the nickname you went by in elementary school.

Do you think he pretends to be normal and basically sets things up to send reader to be like a little love story?? You meet by chance, and he fell first. He fell a LONG time ago, so now it’s his mission to make you fall too. And Tim Drake ALWAYS finishes a mission. (Even as a baby daddy candidate). He makes himself the best option, even if he’s not the father.

Yandere!TimDrake x PastFriend!Reader x Aiden Cobblepot

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

A/N: Sooooo, I'm finally and slowly going through my ask box and you two may have sparked an idea just for Tim. I might have to do a Part Two for this. (I'm falling into the WIP trap. Help!) But, I love the thought of the Bat Family have competition when it comes to their darling. Gives them a challenge. Plus, I really wanted to use Aiden Cobblepot for this. I've been wanting to sneak him into something.

A/N: We have neglected!Sib!Reader, but what about a Neglected!Friend!Reader? Fun idea. Tim already knowing everything about you only to find you’ve changed and wants to study you all over again. Only this time he’s keeping you! (I’m very fond of Tim. I think he’s difficult to write for me, but I enjoy the little stalker so much.)

Warnings: Yandere Themes, Romantic themes, Tim can be read as kinda platonic, GN!Reader

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

You and Tim were once good friends. Well, he was your best friend. To him you were just a good one. High school buddies that would hang out all the time. At school only. And sometimes the rare gala you saw him at. It was rare you ever actually went to The Manor. You never asked to go. But, you had hoped to be invite.

Just like you had hoped that he might reciprocate that pesky crush you had on him back then. You had felt like it was so painfully obvious. Though it wasn't as painful when you finally figured out he was Red Robin and you waited and waited for him to tell you his secret identity. And, then you would tell him you already figured it out and you would look so cool.

Only, he never did. You both grew distant. You had put so much carful effort into keeping that distance from growing. Inviting him to hang out more. Asking him out for casual coffee. He always said the same thing.

"Oh, damn. I could really go for that right now. But, I'm just sorta busy. Next time though. For sure."

Over and over. He sounded like a broken character. Repeating the same phrase. One that you would hang around after the game was over to reminisce about all the fun adventures you both once had. However this was life not a game. You couldn't just restart and rerun the same adventures.

It made you ache when you finally moved on. When you finally pulled away. Because, Tim didn't even notice you were gone. His life to change. He didn't have to restart anything. You had lost your best friend and he didn't even care. It stung. It stung more than you realizing he'd never reciprocate your feelings.

But, like all things, time moves on and so do you. Leaving the past behind and starting a new game. One that you start to flourish in. Making new friends. Meeting new people. Building closer bonds and more healthy friendships. It had been interesting to realize how dependent you had been on Tim once upon a time. And, embarrassing. You can't help looking back on it with a wince. You almost want to reach out and apologize. But, that would be weird and you both live completely separate lives now. You hardly ever see him at galas now. Mostly because you don't go anymore.

Things, do change. You never expected your new partner would draw Tim's attention back to you. And, in such a terrible way.

You had a rough idea of what you were getting into when Aiden Cobblepot had asked you out to dinner. You figured he was only interested in you for your money or your half-decent looks or your family name and position. You had heard all the rumors about him, but still you went. Mostly, because you knew how dangerous he and his family were. And, you were… presently surprised.

He was a bit of an entitled asshole. But, he wasn't scared of getting dirty. You watched him lead you through the puddles of rain water and Gotham grim in the posh restaurant. He held more concern for you're clothing getting dirty than his, which were more expensive than yours. He paid for the date without flinching at the price. Encouraged you to try his own food from his plate. Talked about fond memories of the things he and his sister got up to as children while asking you about your own childhood.

Admittedly, you were easily seduced because after that the two of you became an item. You didn't even realize how official you were until he introduced you to his sister, Addison, and she was actually nice to you. Extremely nice. She did, however, threaten to kill you if you betrayed Aiden in any way, which was honestly fair enough.

Aiden and you were a bit on the opposite side of things, taste wise and morally wise. But, you both made it work. He continued his life of crime, but made no mention of it around you to keep you legally clean. You shared most of your life with him, letting him have a slight glimmer into normalcy. He liked to take you on fancy dates and show you a good time. You were happy to pull him inside just to spend personal time with each other. Of course, you both made compromises. Aiden had a taste for luxury, and you didn't mind indulging in it. Especially after you beat his ass multiple times in Mario cart. It was only fair you let him take you to a gala some point.

Little did you know that that was how Tim would come clawing and digging his way back into your life.

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

For Tim seeing you again was like finding an old precious treasure. His life had gotten so difficult and complicate lately that just a reminded of all those old times was nice.

However, seeing you on the arms of the Penguin's son was a brutal wake up call. What were you doing? Had you hit your head? Was he blackmailing you? Drugging you? Everyone in Gotham could recognize the name Cobblepot and how dangerous they are. And, he remembers how smart you were so you couldn't have willing chose to be there. It's not logical.

For your safety, he reintroduces himself to you. Long time, no see. We should hang out some time and catch up. Only he means it. He can't let this happen. He can't let you fall in with a man like that. You're his friend. He'll win you over for your own sake. Ruin Cobblepot while he's at it because how dare he use you.

Even if you changed. Even if you don't smell the same. If your hair is different. If you dress different. Even if your very laugh had changed pitch, he knows you. And, if anything, he can just re-learn you all over again. It won't take long. He's done it all before. This time he'll savor though. This time he won't let you go as he pulls you back in. You were a good friend, this time he'll make you more.

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

A/N: I’m starting to type up Part Three of Pregant!Reader, but I ended up coming up with another start to it with more drama that would be strictly for the BatBoys. The messed up drama in it sounds fun and challenging, but I won’t do it until I finish what I started with the blurbs I have planned included.

A/N: Smalltown!Meta!Reader Part Nine is going to take a while. I have big plans for it, but Pregnant!Reader is kinda outshining it.

A/N: I will post about the LoungeSinger!Reader and another idea I came up with that y’all might like that I’ll add to the concept list.

A/N: There’s a Tony Part Two coming, but it’s only halfway typed and still not that yandere-y. Need to fix that.

A/N: My asks box is full, so I’m gonna try to empty it, but I host Thanksgiving in my family and I’m also a Christmas nut, so I’m gonna be busy. (I have four Christmas trees in my house currently… But I’m not as bad as my in-laws! They had their trees up BEFORE Halloween.)

[vampiresbloodx]

Devour me whole.

pairings: vi x reader

warnings: smut, masturbation, service top!vi, switch!reader, angst with feelings, friends with benefits, overstimulation, sex toy use, strap on, teasing, gender neutral!reader, yearning

You were pissed. 

It was past three am and Vi promised this time to be home at least at twelve the latest, but no. Three hours have gone by quicker than you'd liked as you sit on her bed waiting for her, you realise there’s no point anymore. 

You should have left ages ago, you don’t know why you do this to yourself, waiting around for someone who doesn’t think about you unless she’s inside of you. You were just a quick fun for her, for anyone really, for a while you didn’t mind, you enjoyed it, the attention, the looks, how they loved your body, the people you’ve slept with and none of them have quite been like Vi. 

It was a one night stand how you met her, it was the best fuck that you’ve ever had in so long, you have experienced both men and women and you’d definitely pick women now more than ever. 

Vi was perfect, she’d always listen to you, even after you two fucked, take care of you if she was being a bit rough, you were always good with the whole no strings attached thing, yet here you were caught in a web of your own lies that you created. You don’t want to leave her place but you should, you don’t want to make things worse if she was in a bad mood, you know she’s been winning at the pit fights she’s been going to nonstop as of late. She's a good fighter and really skilled with her hands. 

God you missed her so much. 

You missed how she touched you, how gentle yet strong she feels, her hand wrapping around your throat, touching you slowly to torment you, teasing you constantly, knowing how bad you need it. 

“Fuck it” you muttered, beginning to strip on Vi’s bed, taking off your shirt and sweats, you went to grab a box underneath her bed where she hides all the toys she uses, and you grab her personal favourite she likes to use on you, her pink long dildo, the amount of times she’s made you cum on that thing. 

With how worked up you already felt, you didn’t even need to know just how wet you are, you laid back down onto her blanket, the smell of her scent lingering in her room overwhelms you. Easy enough, you were able to slip the dildo inside your pussy, starting to pump in and out, you moaned, your other free hand groping your tits the way she would. Your pace became faster the more you thought of her and what she’d do to you, you’ve always wanted to be caught by her, seeing the surprise in her eyes to see her good girl disobeying her in her own room. 

And then the door swung open. 

You were so fucking close, the pleasure building up more and more, your chest heaving, god you must have looked pathetic. 

Vi stood at the end of the bed, watching you, she was caught off guard by this, but she knew you were most likely annoyed with her as she was late tonight, later than she promised. She felt bad, she was going to make it up to you because she cares about you, she really does. 

She hasn’t told you how she feels about you yet. 

You gasped when you saw her standing above you, in her black leather jacket and ripped jeans with chains hanging off of them, how good she looks, makes you more wet. 

“Don’t stop,” she murmurs, her voice sending a chill down your spine as you feel her hands on your knees, forcing your legs to stay open, her eyes never leaving yours. “Show me how much this pussy needs me.” 

You whined, pushing the strap deeper as deep as you can go, your back arching from the bed, you whimpered, your moans becoming louder as you fuck yourself harder. 

It was only when you were reaching the breaking point, vi’s hands wrapped around yours, taking it out that easily, your juices covered in it as you whimpered, watching her lick it clean. 

She throws it over the bed and leans down, a single lick to your cunt causes you to break almost immediately, your body reacts before you could even think. 

“Please” you begged, your eyes meeting her stare, her gaze filled with lust and want. “Please, vi.”

She grins, enjoying this way too much as you are too. She's focused on you now, that's all you've wanted, all her attention on you and only you. She places her hands on your thighs, gripping them as she licks up your pussy, devouring you whole. 

She makes you cum over and over, till your shedding tears, your cheeks wet, your body exhausted, fucked out, and she's taking her sweet time pleasuring you, that's all she wanted to do, make you feel good, make you hers. 

She never wanted to get rid of the taste of you. 

Ever.

[escapisttt]

a lot of this was supposed to be posted for redacted kinktober but. college got in the way. i’m ovulating let me have this. it’s very long OOPS WHO LET ME OUT OF MY CAGE.

NSFW LMAO

lasko has a puppy kink. he likes being told he’s a good boy and craves to be of service to dear. would do anything to please them and do it well; it’s what turns him on the most. leash and collar. god, he’d lick the fucking dirt from their shoes if it made them smile down at him. yeah perhaps him and ash could bond over this. the difference between them though is that during those moments, lasko will never goof off or make jokes meanwhile ash is a bit of a brat. lasko would never disobey dear, but ash likes to push baabe’s buttons so that they “force” him into submission.

milo uses “good girl/good boy/good pet” hnnnngghh. as well as “pretty girl/pretty boy/pretty thing” oh my god. he’s so good at praise.

milo is usually pretty physically rough with it, going fast and deep, but you wouldn’t know that if you were just listening to his voice. sometimes while he’s absolutely fucking sweetheart’s brains out, he’s right in their ear speaking so softly and encouragingly with soooo much praise. “that’s right baby, ‘m i doin’ it right?” when he KNOWS he’s doing it right, he just wants to hear their confirmation. “yeah, lemme touch you, you like that? tell me you like that.” he looooves making sweetheart tell him how they’re feeling, and when they inevitably confirm that it feels good, he nods and doubles down. he craves good feedback, it’s his praise kink. “awwww i know it feels good baby, ‘m gonna make it feel even better.” it’s not condescending, it’s confidence. he knows what he’s good at, and he wants to get better. he’s a huge pleaser.

this is self indulgent if you aren’t into daddy kinks don’t read this one lmao. but daddy milo is soooo real to me. “was that too much? aw ‘m sorry baby, daddy’ll make it feel better. shh shh it’s okay, daddy’s sorry…” OUUUGGHHHH. “daddy wants what you want baby, tell‘im what you want. c’mon, be good and use your words, daddy wants to hear you,” i can’t do this anymore RELEASEEE MEEEEEEE. milo does it tastefully okay he’s not one of the weird ones TRUST ME.

milo who subs occasionally. to put a number on it, about 10% of the time. it may not be his natural default, but when the time is right, it’s so right. it happens one of two ways: either milo had a really rough, tiring day and needs to be coaxed into being cared for, or his sweetheart had been relentlessly teasing him. he’s such a brat at first, rejecting every dominant advance from sweetheart with a performative cocky demeanor, but it breaks down quickly enough when they touch him in the right places.

porter is such a masochist, but not in a traditionally submissive way. god, he loves when treasure slaps his face, yanks his hair, and scratches his back deeply on purpose. he likes being choked a little sometimes as well. but when all of these things are enacted on him, he smiles. he’s got a cocky grin and he’s nodding emphatically, his hips pistoning, almost twitching, even if he’s not inside of treasure. he’s groaning and his eyes are rolling back, but he’s not submitting. he’s daring them to do more, knowing that the only one whose limits being tested are theirs: how much are they able to take of porter when he’s losing himself to the pain? the more intense the pain, the harder he fucks treasure. basically porter is saying without saying, “the more you hurt me, the more i’ll pleasure you.” treasure essentially controls their own pleasure through him; if they want him to go faster, they dig their nails into his back or his scalp or his hips. and as soon as they let go, he lets out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding and eases back down to a slower pace. and porter knows what they’re doing. he likes it. he likes that they have that level of control over him, but he’s absolutely not a whimpering mess like lasko.

david does not like using toys or bondage material. that’s his job. he’s very animalistic in the sense that he does not want anything, even objects, interfering with his time with his mate. he’s the type to get jealous of a vibrator or any sex toy. not because he’s worried about it doing a better job than him, but because it was the thing pleasuring his mate and not him. if his angel is in the mood, he wants to know so he can take care of it. an unspoken rule in the shaw house is that neither of them are allowed to touch themselves. david sticks to this rule through and through, but if angel is caught in the action, the punishment is pretty intense, meaning overstimulation. david is usually quite rough and is already a lot to take even when he’s going slow, so him when he’s angry can be… a lot. he’s got angel on their tummy in the prone bone position and is absolutely laying into them, growling in their ear with genuine irritation. “you should’ve told me… why didn’t you tell me? is this not cutting it for you? you had enough of this cock? i thought you liked it. thought you liked being full of me, not a piece of fucking plastic.” yeah he’s angy. and he’s not being mean to them, he just wants to prove to them and remind them how good he makes them feel. they shouldn’t want anything else. and when angel does it because they think david is too busy for them? yeah he would stay up during all hours of the night to prove them wrong. “how do you think like that, hm? you think i’d put work above this? god angel, i do everything to come home to you, give my time to you. you don’t get that? let me keep showin’ you….”

azmidi who literally nuts on a lot of phone call role plays with sweetie (it’s canon yall hear the way his breath shakes all the time). just hearing their pretty voice, god he feels his pants getting tighter (if he wears those lol). he demands they tell him about their day even though they know he knows exactly how their day went. it feeds into that delicious fear of stalking, the idea that their every movement is being tracked and scrutinized and constantly mulled over. he wants to listen to them talk while he palms himself, nodding along with their version of events, happy that they’re being obedient and not lying to him. he doesn’t have to take himself out of his pants, though he likes to most times. he can come without that, just dry humping into his hand and pressing the phone to his ear, letting out the occasional moan. he knows sweetie can hear him, and if they show signs of getting flustered, it only makes him harder. “you know what you’re doing to me, right? you—you know… oh god…. hey, don’t stop. don’t stop talking. you’ve been doing such a good job, sweetie. let me hear you.”

william “eye contact” solaire. hngggnhnnhg. let’s imagine he’s got a long term partner, right? he is suuuuuuch a gentle lover. he’s not about rough sex very much, he’s too sophisticated lol. no, the actual reason he isn’t too keen on rough sex is because to him, his lover is a deity; an angel that walks the earth, the image of divine perfection. he isn’t going to treat them like a ragdoll, he worships the air they breathe for gods sake. he doesn’t see himself nearly worthy enough to be their companion, their equal. he gives them everything and then apologizes because it just isn’t enough. when he gave them their crown? “i hope you like it. the jewels are the finest i could find of course, for you. i—i perhaps could have gotten larger ones… i apologize. oh, but the weight may be a bit much for your neck… oh dear.” yeah this man is rich but he fucking won’t be if his partner doesn’t stop him from spoiling them. but i’m ranting, this is supposed to be about sex lmfao please ask me to make a post ab william i will do it so fast. this aspect of himself shows especially when he and his partner are intimate. he’s on his knees a lot of the time, staring up at his lover with worshipful reverence. he pleads in his soft spoken voice, his eyes fluttering shut as they put their hand on his cheek. “my love, what would you have me do for you? ask me anything.” and he means anything.

[moonstruckme]

Hi Mae!! Congrats on 8k babe, it’s so so well deserved! If this inspires you could I request gift wrap and ‘mulled wine’ for Sirius??

Hi lovely Fawn, thanks so much <3

cw: alcohol

Sirius Black x fem!reader ♡ 513 words

Sirius finds you curled up in a corner of the couch, nibbling on a thin slice of orange. You look rather content to be doing so, but he can never stand to see anyone sitting alone at a party, least of all you. You’ve uncovered soft spots Sirius didn’t know he had before he met you. 

“You’re making quick work of that,” he says, nodding to your full glass as he sits. 

You look down at it, a small frown denting the sweet bit of skin between your brows, not realizing Sirius’ teasing until he grins at you. 

“Careful, don’t want to get too sauced too fast.” 

“Mary brought it for me,” you say, almost as if in apology, “but I don’t really care for wine. It’s nice that it has these little oranges in it, though.” 

“You might find some raisins, too,” Sirius says smoothly. He ought to know, he’d fought James on it tooth and nail, but for some reason his friend was very attached to the inclusion of the raisins. Sirius has been paying extra attention to the bartender at the restaurant where he works, thinking about going for a job like that and brushing up on his mixology skills in the meantime, and James is of course taking full advantage of this new interest. Sirius keeps getting stuck on food and drinks at parties that aren’t even his. 

All well worth it, though, if it means a chance at impressing you. You and Sirius have only been on a few dates—not enough that he’d have brought you here tonight if you weren’t already friends with the girls—and he finds himself bending over backwards more than he’s used to in hopes of coaxing a smile or a laugh out of you. 

“It’s mulled wine,” he explains, hoping not to sound too pretentious about it (the way Remus gets after him, you’d think Sirius couldn’t help it half the time). “You might like it better than regular wine; it’s sweeter.” 

You look into your glass with new consideration, lifting your eyebrows minutely at him as you pick it up. This is the sort of look Sirius chooses to interpret as flirtation from you, though it may only be wishful thinking. You give the class a tiny swirl before bringing it to your lips. 

You don’t make a face or anything, only set it back down on your coaster and take another bite of your orange. “I think I might just stick with this,” you say gently. 

Sirius smiles in the face of defeat (it’s never looked so spectacularly beautiful). He makes a mental note not to do any more wine-based drinks for these parties. 

“Fair enough,” he says, fishing in his own glass for his orange. “Here, I’ll trade you.” 

Your lips tilt up as you accept it. “Really?” 

“Yeah.” Sirius smiles back at you, feeling his go lopsided. “Course. I can make you something else to drink, too, if you like.” 

Your eyes light with intrigue. “What can you make?” 

Sirius might just have a chance to impress you yet. 

[cherry-pop-elf]

Kiss it Better Pt:3

Curly x Reader

AN: I am just speechless. All this support is making me tear up. Like holy shit. Thank you. Don’t worry! When this finishes(god idk how it will I’m making up as I go since yall want more chapters) I’ll make sure to post it to AO3 for easier access! Just thank you again! And uh. Don’t forget I have a Kofi and Wishlist if you wanna like tip or something. NO PRESSURE! Just a reminder to anyone who WANTS and CAN! You come first! Just. Thank you again!

SUM: You couldn’t sleep, so you try and remember things with Curly to lull you to sleep. As you do, you remember things that are important for a captain to have. Very important, and you are gonna be certain to find them

Warnings: Jimmy, sexual assault, mentions of abortion (it’s a rather calm chapter really. Take it as a pallet cleanser because the next chapter imma really show you how fucked up Jimmy is))

You just couldn’t sleep. It felt criminal to right now. So much was going through your head. So much has happened and now you had time to let it all soak in. The crash, Anya, why there was a crash, Curly’s condition, it made sleep impossible. Especially alone in that big bed that was meant for you and your husband.

You tried to take in deep breaths, and just let the thoughts wash over you. There was responsibility as the Captains Spouse. You weren’t just ‘eye candy’ like Jimmy said. You had worth, and were just as much important to the team as everyone else.

Such as learning a thing or two about what Captain should do in case of an emergency.

Curly was in no state to help, and Jimmy sure as fuck won’t help either. He was the reason everyone crashed after all. He’s a loose cannon and you needed to tip toe around him. Who knows what he might do next. You weren’t even sure if telling Swansea and Daisuke about what’s going on was smart.

Swansea has little girls of his own after all. He won’t react well at all. Then there’s Daisuke. Barely nineteen and thrown into this mess. He might panic or maybe even do something crazy like confront Jimmy. There was just to many what ifs.

So you were left on your own.

You would wrap yourself up in what was once Curly’s sleep robe and grab his spare ID card. The very thing that can unlock any door, and be the one thing that can lock your bedroom door. Definitely should have Anya sleep in here for a while. She deserves to be able to sleep soundly.

While you were waiting for everyone to sleep as well you would explore the bedroom. Looking into nook and cranny to see if there was anything of use. The Captains always were given a bunch of extra shit after all. Even Pony Express had to meet some safety protocols. Curly was their best after all. Even went as far as to try and help him fine work else where. That’s what he explained to you.

Shame. Was just a normal bedroom. The only thing that made it special was it was bigger, and had a lock. Dammit all to hell.

That’s when you tried to think back on past memories of you and your husband. To try and recall any kind of special thing the ships carry. Oh how you felt so guilty for never paying enough attention. Made you feel stupid and useless, but you weren’t.

At least not in comparison to Jimmy.

With a deep breath, you managed to recall something. Something not long before the crash even. You had knocked on the cockpit door to enter it, and was greeted to your husband and Jimmy working. Curly was rambling on about something, while Jimmy kept eyeing the locker suspiciously. As if he wanted to get inside of it for some reason.

That’s your best lead now. God dammit was it a shitty one. The cockpit was stuffed to the brim with foam. But then again that’s the front of the cockpit. If you were careful, and cut the right spot, maybe you can access the locker.

It’s something. Something is better than nothing.

With the robe tossed aside, a change into your jump suit, gloves slipped on, and beanie pulled on to keep your head safe you would make your way to the kitchen. Card key tucked securely inside of your jumpsuit compared to a pocket.

Jimmy can’t know.

Can’t know that you were stealing the only knife that the ship had.

Was going to be a pain in the ass to cut that foam but you really had nothing better to do. So, you unlocked the cock pit and focused on remembering its layout.

“For Anya, for Curly, for Swansea, for Daisuke, and all our families back home.”

You would start the slow and agonizing cutting. Little by little. Just chopping away to try and reach the right side of the pit. To get to that locker and see what was inside. That locker was in the cockpit for a reason. It can only be accessed by the pilots for a reason. There was a reason.

Any time you felt like your arms would give out you thought back to Curly. How he didn’t really have arms anymore to begin with. How Anya was busy throwing up right now. How they needed you. They both needed you.

It had been well over a hour, but you managed to reach the locker. You allowed yourself a breather at the sight of it. Damn was that a pain, but it’ll be worth it. Right?

With your breather over you would use the key card to access the locker. Inside was….Honestly junk. That had you very disappointed. You were honestly ready to cry out of frustration, only to see there were a few locked cabinets inside.

Ones that needed codes.

Codes you knew.

Curly made you memorize them in case of an emergency. He just said to memorize them. That it’s meant to just unlock pin pads. That Pony Express never bothered to change them.

You went to the lower locker and typed it in.

Strange, there was nothing inside. Suppose whatever was inside was taken out. You wondered what could have been in there. Was a very small locker so maybe it was some code scanner or universal unlocking device. Just wasn’t big enough for something you hoped for.

A transmitter.

He prayed it was near the front of the ship. That a transmitter would stuck in the heart of the foam, or as far as just shatter on contact. They had to have a spare communicator. Pony Express had to follow SOME rules after all. Imagine the ship being discovered and the people who found it saw it was missing something as important as that.

So you typed in the code for the larger locker. You were kinda afraid of opening it. To be met with another empty void of metal and dust.

You took a deep breath, and opened.

There really was a god.

There was what you were looking for. A real deal communicator. It was real, it looked untouched and even had dust on it to show that Jimmy never reached it.

Before you grabbed it you made sure to close the door behind you. Just to be sure. Was the dead of night, well from what the clocks say, and everyone should be asleep. Even Jimmy had to sleep. You had to make you move now.

Remain calm, and focus.

You can’t fuck this up.

You snuggled yourself into the corner of the pit, with the communication device in your lap. You hooked the head phones onto your head, and turned it on.

As you waited for it to boot up you made sure you were positioned so that if anyone came through the door, for some reason, you’ll notice. As far as anyone was aware though this room was basically a wall. No purpose to enter. You should be safe, but you had to think ahead. Jimmy was unpredictable, and so full of himself.

Better to be over prepared than see what happens if Jimmy finds out what you are doing.

Couldn’t help but give a squeak of surprise when someone finally spoke to you.

“This is the Emergency Spaceship Retrieval Sector. What seems to be the problem?”

A woman, through the static, spoke to you. Tears of relief fell down your face but you forced yourself to remain focused. You can’t mess this up now. No way no how.

“This is Tulpar for Pony Express. We have suffered a crash about a month ago. From what I can recall we had been a little over four months into our twelve month journey-“ You immediately explained, as to best help them get an estimation on how far the ship had traveled.

“Alright, who may I be speaking to at this moment?”

Deep breaths.

“I am the Spouse to Captain Curly. It is me, Jimmy the co-pilot, Anya the nurse, Swansea the mechanic, and Daisuke our intern.” Deep breaths, keep things quick and to the point.

“Are you all in any immediate danger?”

You had to think about that a moment. Jimmy is a dangerous man. Who knows what he might do next if you don’t play along. So, you had to be honest. You felt guilty for telling the operator what happened. That Curly suffered greatly and needed immediate medical attention, how Anya was a victim of assault and required an abortion as soon as possible, and that the reason for it all was because of Jimmy. He crashed the ship, he raped Anya, he destroyed Curly, and god knows what he will do next.

“Estimated arrival time will be about a month. We have your exact location thanks to the communicator. Remain calm, and know that help is on the way. We have logged this down in the report. Take care of your crew the best you can, Captain.”

And she would log off. You would let your head thump back, and simply cried. Cried in pure relief and joy. That a real person heard you, and was aware of what’s going on. That if anything did go wrong that at least someone knows. Someone will know what happened.

There was hope.

Now was a matter of survival.

One month.

You all needed to survive one month.

One Month Until Rescue…

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@dinkyzoop @danart501 @spudfromspace @niyamamiya

[carovingian]

I debated writing this here or starting a new thread, but I think the folks who’d need it are here, so I’m gonna take a crack at something.

I really love men. I seek out mostly male spaces. I like that my work is full of nice thoughtful guys who are excited to make something clever and useful. I like that my personal life is fill of horny creative guys.

I loved the guys in my college fiancé’s marching band fraternity. They helped me feel better when the band sorority didn’t want me.

I worry about guys, because I’ve seen how they default to sharing their strengths most of the time. I’ve been in a politeness standoff with a heavily breathing 80 year old man over who would sit in the last open chair because I was pregnant at the time, and a lot of guys are Like That. They’ll give you their last crumb, it’s a labor worth doing to make sure they remember to rest.

I confess; I’ve been annoyed by what gets called mansplaining exactly twice. But the vast majority of the time I think it’s just an example of what I said before- guys will give you anything they think is their strength, it’s a reflex. It’s okay that they’re wrong sometimes, because it’s honestly a very good and kind impulse. I love that men will share what they know.

I love guys that rough house. I love guys that grew up big and are slow and careful with it. I love guys my exact (short) height because they’re guys and it’s interesting to see how our frames and experiences differ and how they don’t. I love every tall guy who cheerfully grabbed something high up for me.

I think facial hair is so so neat. I think baldness is a great look but I’m sad guys don’t really get to choose it. I love the way guys put on muscle. And don’t get me started but I really really love cock.

*ahem*

On a different note, I love my uncles. It was really fun to sing with them at the family reunion, and see my Uncle Lloyd sweep the Timeline tournament. I love how he’s my half Uncle, but my grandfather adopted him. I really hate that I never met my grandfather, but I love how my father has been doing careful cardio his whole life because he wanted to keep us from feeling how he felt when his Dad died of a heart attack. I love how much research goes into heart health.

I love guys, many specific guys, and most kinds of guy I’ve met. And I hope hearing about it helps a bit. It’s not a big structural change, but it’s a thing I could do this morning, and I hope it helps.

Leaving toxic masculinity behind as a source of community is pretty much an unmitigated good, especially for men who are chronically underperforming in one or more metric by which hegemonic patriarchal status is measured (heterosexuality, whiteness, ability to perform violence, ect.). No real external spur is needed for leaving. It doesn't even require empathy. Just perspective. Relying on an abusive pyramid scheme for self worth is bad, actually.

But when you leave that, I dunno, call me a whiny incel who expects emotional labour from others, it would be cool if there was some sort of community or support structure in place for progressive men to find celebration and identity and acceptance. It would be nice if we had cultural conceptions of positive masculinity that could be emulated instead of individual, exceptional, disposable blorbos to be fawned over. It would be nice if being masculine wasn't viewed as something that negates or problematises my queerness. It would be nice to even be able to find media about masculinity that isn't poisoned by fascism or more interested in dunking on said misogynists for clout. I feel like I'm trying to build something new from scratch. Why? Why is this such a fucking wasteland.

I don't know about y'all, but I have never felt understood and accepted by any community ever in my fucking life. I have never felt seen. I have never felt at home. I'm not gonna become a misogynist about it but there sure isn't anything positive to lean on or collective vision for a positive future to fucking strive for, is there? Christ.

And like, because I know I do have to end with this, before you try some faux-hopecore bullshit on me that actually seeks to shift the blame right back onto me, I'm already donating to and planning to volunteer for my local left wing party for our upcoming federal election. I already signed up for more classes to fill my time, I'm married, I text my stupid friends who bail on me and don't text back. I have been to therapy several times. I have already poured hundreds of hours trying to build community in male feminist spaces online. Systemic issues do not magically become individual failings when we talk about men.

[strwberri-milk]

Hello I hope you're doing well.

I swear your Fics get me through the day❤️

I love the way you write about the boys!

I have a (sort of angsty I think) request:

How do you think each of them will handle/what they're gonna do if they aren't exactly the reader's/MC's type? Like, they're not in a relationship with MC yet, and they're in the stage where they're starting to court MC, and then they find out that MC's type is like their exact opposite, and that's where they sort of notice MC doesn't really consider them as a potential partner because of this

Zayne has never really thought that his feelings for you have been reciprocated. Somehow, it slips his mind to think that you could ever like him, especially since he's seen the types of people you had crushes on growing up. He'd never ask you on a date because of this, happy enough to stay your friend. That's why he was so surprised when you asked him on a date, the happiness in his chest dissipating as he began to realise that you simply didn't seem to have it in you to love him as much as he loves you.

His response is simply to break things off. He tells you not to try and force yourself onto him, that if you don't like him you don't have to pretend you do to fulfill some sort of perceived expectation you think he has. He doesn't really let the conversation progress further than that, moving past it. The two of you end up never really being the same, still able to be friends and hang out together but there's always something just bubbling under the surface.

Xavier doesn't realise what's wrong until he sees the way you look at other people. You do your best not to stray while you're sort of with Xavier but you also haven't had a conversation about exclusivity yet, despite the fact that he is wholly devoted to you. He doesn't entertain the idea of breaking things off, not thinking that things were that bad.

You end up breaking things off, telling him that it's really nothing he's done to you. You just didn't know how to feel, struggling to move into more romantic feelings for him. He takes it surprisingly well you think, acting as though things are totally normal. You don't realise that he's become even quieter than usual, not really taking team missions anymore and going out of his way to avoid you. He doesn't know how to cope with his feelings for you and a desire to make you happy, ending up further into avoidance.

Rafayel is devastated. He can tell immediately that you don't really like him, not in the same way you seem to like other people. A part of him wants to delude himself into thinking that maybe it's just a phase, that you'd eventually fall for him the way that literally everybody else seems to. The other part of him is angry, incredibly so. He doesn't like the idea of you messing with his feelings, being cold to you before you can reject him.

The two of you just end up drifting apart. He doesn't return your calls or messages anymore, internally begging for your attention but also being too irrational to consider that maybe if you two talked something could be figured out. He thought that being by your side would be okay as long as he could touch you but your rejection did nothing but make him spiral.

Sylus doesn't take your denial well. You aren't fully aware of it right away, but he's known from the start that you don't really care for him as much as he does you. He doesn't want to do anything about it, seeing if he could slowly encourage you into accepting him in further. He'd do everything he can to try and convince your relationship to progress further but things just seem to remain stagnant.

You'd have to tell him that things just aren't working out. The two of you struggle to maintain a cordial friendship afterwards. That's not to say you can't depend on him - just the fact that it's hard for him to act as comfortable around him as he used to be. He still aims to keep you safe but you lack that camaraderie that the two of you had.

[strnilolover]

what were the first more intimate interactions between maid!reader and prince!matt like?

(this is before they start secretly dating)

001

Darling had always referred to him as “Your Highness”, careful to maintain respect. But the day she had met him in the side of the castle no one ever used — he right away told her she could call him Matt. Though it slipped from her mind more often than not. As she brought him his morning tea, he caught her hand gently when she set the tray down.

“Call me Matt,” he said, his voice low and soft. Her heart fluttered as she looked at him, startled. “Your Highness, I couldn’t—”

“You could,” he interrupted, his thumb brushing her knuckles before he let go. “When it’s just us…i did already tell you that before.” he whispered.

And…she hesitated but nodded, whispering, “Alright… Matt.” The way his eyes lit up at the sound of his name from her lips was something she couldn’t forget.

002

Darling was in a hurry while carrying linens, when suddenly she had slipped on the freshly polished floor, dropping the pile and scraping her arm against the ground in the process. And since Matt was walking with her — before she could even process what had happened, Matt was at her side, kneeling beside her

“Are you alright?” he asked, his voice thick with concern.

“I’m fine Matt,” she insisted, trying to rise, but he gently took her hand, examining the scrape that now decorated her arm.

“Stay still,” he commanded softly. Fetching a clean cloth, he dabbed at the wound, his touch tender. She hissed at the stinging sensation that radiated through her arm and down to her hand — but she let him continue on without a fuss. Growing nervous at the close contact.

003

One night, a thunderstorm had rolled in, shaking the palace windows. Darling was delivering some tea to Matt’s bedroom when a loud crack of thunder made her flinch, the tray of tea almost slipping from her hands.

Matt’s eyes darted toward her. “You’re scared,” he observed as he crossed the room toward her. She shook your head, trying to maintain composure. “I’m fine Matt.” she whispered, though her shaking body was telling him otherwise.

But Matt stepped closer, his hand brushing her arm. “You’re not — you’re shaking like a leaf darling.” he said, gently taking the tray from her hands and setting it down. When he turned back to her, he opened his arms — and she stared at him, puzzled.

“C’mere, it’s okay darling.” he said reassuringly — and she tentatively stepped forward, letting his arms wrap around her. His embrace calming some of her nerves.

He let her stay in there with him that night, making sure to keep her company and distracted from the loud thundering just outside.

004

Making Matt’s bed and tidying his room was one of darlings many tasks she had to do and one evening, as she prepared Matt’s bedroom for the night, he lingered by the doorway, watching her in silence.

He couldn’t help but watch how graceful she was at doing her tasks. “Do you ever think about what you want?” he asked suddenly, his voice carrying through his room.

She jolted, pausing as she was startled by the question. “What — what I want doesn’t matter, Matt.” she muttered, trying to brush the question off as if he had never asked it.

“It does,” he insisted, stepping into the room room. “It matters to me darling.” he said — though he could tell she didn’t really believe it too much.

The intensity of his gaze made her feel exposed, as though he could see past every wall she’d ever built. And before she could respond, he turned away, his departure leaving behind an ache she couldn’t explain.

005

The kitchen was silent save for the soft crackle of the fire in the hearth. Darling stood in the dim light, her hands fumbling with the small loaf of bread she’d carefully pinched from the pantry. She knew she shouldn’t be there — maids weren’t allowed to take food outside their designated meals — but the ache in her stomach had driven her to risk it.

She tore off a small piece, savoring the softness, her eyes darting toward the doorway every few seconds. Her heart pounded, not from guilt, but from fear of being caught.

“Enjoying yourself darling?”

The deep voice startled her so much that the bread slipped from her fingers. Whipping around, she found Matt leaning casually against the doorframe, his arms crossed and a curious look on his face. His royal tunic was undone at the collar, his hair slightly tousled, as though he had just woken up.

“M-matt,” she stammered, her pulse racing. “I — this isn’t what it looks like—” Matt pushed off the doorframe, his steps slow and deliberate as he crossed the room. “It looks like you’re stealing bread.”

Darling opened her mouth to explain, but the words wouldn’t come. Instead, she looked down at her feet, shame bubbling up inside her. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, the apology tasting bitter on her tongue. “I—”

“Shh,” he said softly, cutting her off as he came to stand before her. She dared to glance up, and his expression wasn’t one of anger or disappointment, but something else entirely — softness, curiosity… admiration.

“Why didn’t you ask?” he murmured, his voice so gentle it made her chest ache. “I didn’t want to be a burden,” she admitted quietly. “It’s not my place to take more than what’s given.”

Matt frowned slightly, his hands coming up to cup her face, his palms warm against her skin. The touch froze her in place, her breath hitching as his thumbs brushed her cheeks.

“You work harder than anyone here,” he said, his voice steady. “How could you ever think you’d be a burden?” Her eyes searched his face, unsure how to respond. The way he was looking at her — his gaze soft, yet piercing, as though he was memorizing every detail of her face — made her knees feel weak.

“You’re too kind to me,” she finally managed, her voice trembling. He shook his head, a faint smile tugging at his lips. “You deserve kindness. And so much more.”

The warmth of his words, combined with the gentle pressure of his hands, made her head pound — face heating rapidly. His thumbs continued their slow, absentminded caress, and she swore she could feel his breath ghosting over her skin.

“Matt,” she whispered, his name slipping out before she could stop herself. The sound seemed to stir something in him, and for a moment, his eyes flickered to her lips. But instead of closing the space between them, he stepped back, his hands falling reluctantly to his sides.

“You should eat,” he said softly, gesturing toward the bread on the counter. “Take whatever you need. No one will stop you.” She nodded, still too overwhelmed to speak.

As he turned to leave, he paused in the doorway, glancing back over his shoulder. “Next time, just tell me. I’ll make sure you never have to sneak around again.”

And with that, he disappeared into the shadows of the hallway, leaving her breathless and with a warmth in her chest that she couldn’t quite explain.

© strnilolover

[daisymbin]

48. "you taught me what love is, and no one else has come close." With Vernon and female

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second chance prompt #48: "you taught me what love is, no one else has come close."

hansol stood on your porch, cradling the cat carrier in his hands, his nerves twisting into knots. the faint meow from inside didn’t ease his worry; if anything, it made it worse. he’d spent the entire night googling symptoms, wondering if he’d done something wrong, and now he was here. back where everything started and ended.

he knocked, swallowing the lump in his throat.

when you opened the door, his breath hitched. you looked the same but different—soft and familiar, like a dream he hadn’t let himself think about in a long time.

“sollie?” his nickname slipping from your lips was laced with surprise and affection he hadn't been expecting. “what are you doing here?”

he held up the carrier, feeling small under your gaze. “he’s not eating much, and he’s been acting… off. i didn’t know who else to call.”

you blinked at him, then stepped aside. “come in.”

hansol followed you into the warmth of your home, the scent of it hitting him like a wave of nostalgia. it was the same, down to the throw blanket on the couch. everything about this place felt like you—safe, steady, and a little too easy to fall into.

he set the carrier down carefully, watching as you unzipped it and coaxed the cat out. your hands were gentle as you examined him, murmuring soothing words. hansol watches as a pang of something bittersweet in his chest. you were always like this—calm, kind, and impossibly good at making everyone around you feel safe.

“hey, buddy,” you murmured, inspecting him closely. the soft tone in your voice made hansol’s chest ache. it wasn’t just for the cat—it was the same way you used to talk to him when he was tired or overwhelmed, the same kindness he never realized he’d miss this much.

you looked up after a moment, a small smile tugging at your lips. “he’s fine, hansol. just a little stressed.”

“stressed?” he repeated, relief and confusion mixing in his voice.

“yeah.” you sat back, letting the cat curl up on your lap. “all the back-and-forth between our places is probably confusing for him. cats don’t like changes, you know. he probably just needs some consistency.”

“oh.” hansol’s shoulders slumped slightly. he felt a little dumb for panicking, but mostly he felt… something else. something warm.

your teasing smile pulled him out of his thoughts. “you’ve changed.”

his brows furrowed. “what do you mean?”

you gave him a teasing smile. “you used to complain when he stole all my attention. now here you are, worried sick and showing him all this love and care.”

hansol looked down, a faint flush creeping up his neck. “yeah, well… people change, I guess.”

you tilted your head, studying him for a moment. the silence stretched between you, not uncomfortable but heavy with unspoken words.

his face flushed. “i mean… he’s important,” he muttered, avoiding your gaze. he wonders if you realise that this cat is the only thing that gives him some type of connection to you.

you laughed softly, the sound lighting up a corner of his heart he didn’t realize was still dark.

“you’ve really changed,” you said again, more softly this time.

hansol looked at you then, really looked at you, and something in him broke open. he thought he was over this. over you. but here you were, reminding him of all the things he loved about you, all the ways you made him feel like he was home.

“you taught me, you know,” he said, his voice quieter than he intended.

your brows knitted together, "taught you what?"

he hesitated, his hands gripping his knees. but then he thought about how much you deserved to know—how much he wanted you to know.

“what love is,” he said finally, his words trembling but certain. “you taught me what it means to care about someone. to put their happiness first. no one else… no one else has ever come close.”

the words hung in the air, raw and vulnerable. you opened your mouth to respond but found yourself at a loss.

“I didn’t realize it back then,” he continued, his gaze unwavering. “I didn’t appreciate what I had, and I’m sorry for that."

you stared at him, eyes wide, your teasing smile replaced by something softer, “hansol…”

“i’m not saying this to make things weird,” he added quickly, his voice tripping over itself. “i just… i realised i never told you how much you meant to me. and i should’ve. you deserved to hear it, to know."

you looked down at the cat in your lap, your fingers running absently through his fur. “we both made mistakes,” you said quietly.

“maybe,” he said. “but i should’ve done better. i should’ve fought for us.”

the room felt heavier, the air thick with unspoken words. hansol thought he might have gone too far, that maybe he should’ve kept those thoughts to himself. but then you looked at him again, a small smile tugging at your lips.

“you know,” you said, your tone light but your eyes warm, “if you keep saying things like that, i might start to think you want a second chance.”

his heart stuttered. “would that be so bad?”

your smile grew, your fingers brushing against his as the cat stretched between you. “that depends,” you said, your voice teasing but your gaze steady. “are you ready to share my attention with the cat this time?”

hansol laughed, the sound surprising even himself. it wasn’t just relief; it was hope.

“yeah,” he said, his voice soft but sure. “i think i can manage that.”

you smiled at him, your hand lingering against his for a moment longer. the cat purred contentedly, nestled between you both, as if sensing that maybe, this time, things could be different.