#we both have really bad object permanence + flow of time issues though so it kinda... didnt happen

[skrunksthatwunk]

just found out rascal (babycat)'s been with his owner this whole time instead of my roommate which is. something. :|

[seriouslyhooked]

Thank You (For Your Love)

Future set CS Thanksgiving fic. Emma, Killian and their children are hosting the family and their friends for the holiday, but before guests arrive there’s time for a bit of a CS interlude. Rated M for ‘may be a second chapter with real smut…’ In the meantime please enjoy this little tease. Also please keep in mind I never watched season 7, so any issues you all see with this not fitting into that world, my bad. Still, cuteness is cuteness right? Hopefully! Available on AO3 Here and FF Here.

A/N: Hey everyone! It has been a season of irregular writing for me, but I couldn’t let one of my favorite holidays come without adding some fluff and CS family cuteness of my own to our fandom. This is a time of year meant for love and togetherness, so whether you have a happy family life or whether you find yourself wishing for more, I hope you will enjoy this fic and this expansion of a universe I miss so much. It feels like forever since Once has been on, but I still feel super connected to these characters and this world, and every time I hear this song, ‘Thank You’ by Mozella, I think of Emma and Killian. Hope that happy feeling translates here, and thank you all so much for reading!

Busy. That was the primary way to describe the holidays these days in the Swan/Jones household. A few years back that was often because they couldn’t catch a break from big bads and curse-induced disasters, but all of that had changed. Things had been peaceful for quite a while now, but that peace did not always guarantee quiet.

“How much time have we got, Swan?”

The question from her husband prompted Emma to check the clock on the kitchen wall. Guests were supposed to be arriving in an hour and her parents had been advised that she and Killian had Thanksgiving dinner totally handled. So basically, any minute now the Charmings would sail on through the door, completely disregarding that fact.

“Hard to say,” Emma said shrugging slightly, and though it was feint, she swore she heard a growl emanating from deep in Killian’s chest.

A flush of excitement moved through her instantly, but Emma fought against the instinct to meet Killian’s stare. Even from this distance she could feel the tension between them, the heat that flowed in the air around them, and the need that her pirate always had. Forget the fact that they’d managed to sneak an oh so satisfying rendezvous this morning before the kids woke up, with Killian there was no off switch. Oh he was a perfect gentleman most of the time, always reading her wants and following her wishes at every pass, but he was also… well, how to put this delicately? Insatiable. The man was insatiable even with years of history between them.

“Are you toying with me, love?” he asked, coming behind her and wrapping his arms around her, his hand skimming over her with practiced precision. His fingertips brushed across an exposed patch of skin where her shirt had ridden up, and her pulse fluttered. She hoped he’d missed it, but when he pressed a kiss to her neck, nipping ever so slightly she knew he hadn’t. She pushed back against him, and now she understood his words. She’d said it was hard to say, but that wasn’t the only thing that was hard. Not by a long shot.

“When have I ever been known to do that?” she quipped.

He mumbled something into her hair about her being a siren who always called him back again. She swallowed harshly, but leaned back into his affectionate touch before twisting in his arms to look at him.

“The kids?”

“Coloring,” he reported. Emma arched a brow. “Well Hope is. Little Liam is reporting as her first mate and serving honorably.”

“So he’s chewing on the crayons and drooling on the paper?”

Killian’s only response was that roguish smile of his and Emma giggled – yes giggled – at the idea of an image she’d seen many times. Their daughter, spirited and fiery as she was, had it in her brain that she needed to color every day. When pressed on why it was important, Hope said she needed to become an ‘’aw-tist’ (her word for artist). Emma had asked her why, and her response was well thought out if a little harsh:

“I has ta do this, Mommy.”

“Why, honey?”

“Because.”

“Because why?”

“Because Daddy tells me pwetty stories but there’s no pwetty pictures to go with them. My other books have pwetty pictures. Daddy’s stories need them too.”

This would have been a purely adorable thing for her charming and precocious daughter to say save for one small problem. The stories her ‘Daddy’ told her did have pictures, and they just so happened to be drawn by Emma’s father, and Hope’s grandfather.

So far they’d managed to keep Hope’s true objective under wraps from her Dad, who though strong and always doting, would probably be a little hurt about the comments on his sketches. Those homemade storybooks were just supposed to be a cute little project to make for Hope when Emma was pregnant with her, but somehow the stories had clicked. Their little princess was obsessed with tales of the savior and her pirate. She just wasn’t so enthused with the pictures that went with them.

“Henry’s got his eye on both of them, and no interest in being recruited for cooking duty. So that leaves you,” he pressed a kiss behind her ear, “me,” he managed to grasp her earlobe with his teeth in a way that made her sizzle, “and however much time we can manage.”

Emma glanced up at her husband, taking in the handsomeness of his features, and the sexy stubble that still graced his strong set jaw, before pulling him in to her by the collar of his dress shirt. She wanted the kiss that they shared so badly, and immediately they were catapulted back in the thick of the lust that blended so seamlessly with the true love in their hearts. It was so easy to get swept away, to forget that the kids were in the next room and that guests were on the way, but hell if she cared. All that mattered was how good Killian always made her feel, and brilliantly beautiful pleasure that was seeping through her at the promise of what was to come.

“Knock knock!”

Her mother’s call came from the front door, and because she was in the thick of a stolen moment with her pirate, Emma almost ignored it. Then it dawned on her.

“Shit! My parents,” she whispered and though she sought to scramble away, Killian held her firmly where she was.

“Not so fast, my love. Wouldn’t want to hurt the little one.”

His hand came over her stomach which had not yet started to show. In another week or so a bump would start to form, at least if the tendencies of her last two pregnancies held up, but for now, it was still her and Killian’s little secret. A secret they planned on keeping until Christmas day. It seemed only fitting, since all Hope could think to ask for Christmas was a baby sister. Hopefully this would turn out in their daughter’s favor, and Killian was convinced it would thanks to his strange but usually accurate pirate intuition. But no matter who their newest bundle of joy turned out to be, Henry, Hope, and Liam would be happy. There was more than enough love to go around in this family, and all Emma’s children were eager to share it.

“Look what I brought, Henry!”

Emma heard her brother, Neal, excitedly charge to the living room and then heard her oldest’s enthusiastic reply.

“Cool! What is it?”

“It’s a football, Henry. Don’t you know what a football is?”

“Yeah, Henwy, don’t you know?” Hope asked, prompting both Emma and Killian to chuckle, since the likelihood that Hope had any idea was minute at best.

“I was just teasing, bean. Of course I know what a football is. We gonna play later?”

“You bet ya. You want to play Hope?”

“Maybe. I’m an awtist now. Can awtist’s play?”

“Damn, I should –“ Killian started as Emma tried to say “We should handle that.”

“Until later, love?” Killian asked with a wry grin and she smiled, pressing one last kiss to his lips as he went to go swoop Hope up, greet her parents, and prevent a storybook revelation the likes of which this town had somehow never seen.  

After giving herself a moment to regroup and fanning her face a bit to try and blow away the tell tale color of a moment with Killian, Emma joined them all out in the living room. Embracing her parents and her little brother before turning her attention to her kids.

“Looking good, bean,” she said, echoing Henry’s endearment for his sister that had a special history.

When Emma first found out she was pregnant, they’d all taken to calling Hope the little bean and it was Henry originally who said it was fitting. Killian and Emma couldn’t figure why until he reminded them. She and Killian had shared their first real story on the bean stalk, so the product of that kind of true love would be a bean. Killian especially had loved that, so much in fact that the nickname stuck, and the eventual nickname of ‘sprout’ for Liam was just as permanent as well. Emma didn’t know what the new baby’s name would be, but she was eager to see what Killian could come up with.

“It’s my tuckey!” Emma bit back a smile at her daughter’s exuberant words, especially the one that was glaringly mispronounced.

“And what a beautiful turkey she is,” Emma’s mother cooed. It was totally typical. She loved being a grandma just as much as she loved being a Mom.

“Tuckey is a girl?” Hope asked, clearly confused that turkeys could be girls too. But soon enough she did that thing so many four-year-olds tended to do, she decided to roll with it and forget her line of detailed inquiry. “Mommy and Daddy was kissing in the kitchen again.”

“Hope!” Emma said, aghast at having been ratted out so promptly and matter of factly. But her shock grew more profound as she watched her mother take a chocolate from her purse and hand it to Hope. “Mom?”

“My granddaughter and I have a deal. She’s my eyes and ears. My little birdie, so to speak.”

“Oh really? Because it sounds like she’s a spy...” Emma teased.

“A spy?!” Killian proclaimed, play acting like it was his life’s work. He pretended to scour the room, even lifting a squealing little Liam into his arms to help in the exaggerated search. “Tell me we don’t have a spy! A dreaded spy, oh Liam can it really be so?”

“I’m not a spy! Not a spy!” Hope said, immediately shaking her head and looking completely uninterested in this twist on things. She shoved the chocolate back towards Mary Margaret, something that Emma had never ever seen before. “No more tellin, grandma. Sowwy. Love you.”

“And I love you, princess,” she said, pressing a kiss to Hope’s head as she shot a scolding look at Emma. Emma ignored it, but handed the chocolate back to Hope. Her daughter grinned immediately before ripping it open and shoving it all in her mouth as fast as she could, her eyes closing in that intoxicated way that every kid gets with quality candy.

“You mind helping me in the kitchen, Mom?” Emma asked with the benefit of distraction, and her mother agreed with no question, moving behind Emma and stepping into the preparation process seamlessly. After a few minutes though, Emma caved and asked what exactly was up. “So, care to explain why you need a ‘little birdie’ all of a sudden?”

“Oh there’s no reason,” her mother said in that way that said she wasn’t being totally truthful. Emma didn’t even need a super power to feel that either. Her Mom was just a terrible liar. “Fine. I was just thinking that one more baby would really round out this family.”

“Okay, so you and Dad should get right on that,” Emma quipped and her mother huffed.

“Emma.”

“Mom. You act like that’s crazy. What’s stopping you from having another kid?”

“Nothing’s stopping us,” her mother said, her honesty back in full force. “We are blessed with the children we have. I’m perfectly comfortable with two kids. I wanted one girl and one boy and we’ve been blessed with exactly that.”

“But we’re different?” Emma asked, intrigued to know why her mother felt that way specifically.

“Yes I think you are. You and Killian were both denied the childhoods you deserved in so many ways. And I know, even though you’ve never told me, I know in my heart that when you wished for us to find you, you also wished for more.” Her mother’s voice broke, a sign that tears were threatening to come, and Emma wasn’t surprised, not when her own tears were lurking at the edge of her vision. “You dreamed of a big family, Emma. You wanted brothers and sisters and parents who loved you more than anything in the world.”

“And I found that, Mom. Well, most of it at least.”

“I know you did, Emma. I know,” she said, hugging Emma to her quickly. “Your father and I do love you. So much it drives me to enlist Hope in trace amounts of espionage.”

Emma laughed at the reminder. “Yeah, not exactly your best moment.”

“Maybe you’re right. But my point still stands – you are an amazing mother, Emma, and you know how magical that dream of a big, huge family can be to a kid. Now you have the chance to make that come true for your babies, and for yourself.”

Emma smiled at the thought, and she was so pleased that her mother truly understood her despite the long 28 years she’d gone without her. Time had been a great healer, but the remnants of Emma’s past did remain, and those dreams, though they were dreamed so long ago, they still lingered, even now. It was on the tip of her tongue to tell her mother that the dream would come true. Another baby was coming, and this family would in fact grow, but just as she was about to she remembered – there was no one in the world less equipped to handle a secret than her mother.

“Just promise me you’ll think about it,” her mother begged, saving Emma from an awkward half response and Emma exhaled a breath of relief.

“Okay, I promise.”

The joy that brought her mother was undeniable, and the rest of their prep time was spent with elated conversation, and genuine familial love. Soon the rest of their family and friends appeared, filling the house with so many personalities, and laughter, and light. It was unbelievable, but somehow, miraculously, it was also their real life.

“Would you like the honors this year, my love?” Killian asked, when the time had come for the Thanksgiving speech. It was tradition now, that each year before their favorite meal they came together and said all that they were thankful for. Sometimes Killian started things, sometimes it was her parents, but this year Emma felt particularly inclined to take the lead. Killian could see as much just from the expression on her face, and he kissed her cheek before taking his spot at the opposite end of the table. When all eyes were on her and an expectant silence descended, Emma spoke her mind.

“Thank you all so much for being here. Every year we say pretty much the same thing. That we are grateful for our health, for our family, and for our friends. We thank whatever forces out there have gotten us to here, and we wish to be just as blessed in the years still to come. Thanksgiving is all about acknowledging what we are thankful for, and I would be remiss to let this moment pass me by without saying how special this is to me.”

“What’s we-miss mean, Henwy?” Hope asked in what tried to be a whisper but was a very loud inquiry. Some of their guests failed to stifle their laughter as her brother explained.

“It means Mommy really wants to say this and share it with all of us.”

“Oh! Okay, keep going Mommy.”

Emma bit back a chuckle but took her precious girl’s advice. “For so many years I did not have this, and I know that really none of us did. We were all dealing with our own burdens. No one’s story had gotten to that promised happy ending just yet. But we’re here now. We have so much, and it’s all because we have each other. I couldn’t ask for anything more than the love in this room. I couldn’t have dreamed of a life as worth giving thanks for as this one. And I want to thank you all for the part you play and for the light you bring on this day and every day.”

“To family,” Killian said, taking Emma’s silent queue that words were beginning to fail her.

“To family!” Everyone echoed.

With that, everyone proceeded to enjoy the rest of the night, eating and talking and sharing stories of all the highs they’d achieved together throughout the years. It was a perfect thanksgiving, or ‘tuckey-day’ as Hope had fondly put it, and though it ended sooner than the kids might have wished, by the end of the evening Emma was feeling the length of the day. She was tired, but she was also tremendously happy, and so comforted by the safety of her children and the presence of her true love at her side.

“Hard to imagine that I could ever be more thankful than I was the day I made you mine, Emma,” Killian whispered as they shut the door to their room behind them. They’d put Hope and Liam to sleep, so they were officially off the clock. Well, at least for a little while.

“And now?” Emma asked, knowing he was about to say something that would take her breath away with its thoughtfulness and sincerity.

“Now every day shows me how wrong I was. Life has only become more incredible, the world is always brighter, and every moment is one I would never trade for all the riches in the world. And I have you to thank for that, Swan. So thank you, Emma. For your love, for your light, and for everything you are.”

“How is it you always say the right things?” Emma asked, pulling him closer to her and running her hand along his face, her eyes tracking every feature that she’d memorized since the first moment they met all that time ago.

“Because, love, we’re one. Two hearts made whole and all of that.”

“Oh really?” Emma teased, running her other hand down the hard lines of his chest. “And does that two parts made whole just go for hearts or -?”

She squeaked out a sound of delight as Killian swept her into his arms and brought her over to the bed, silencing her with a kiss, and then proceeding to outline just how very together they were meant to be. With his hand, mouth, and body he drew her into a frenzy, making her see stars and succumb to that fever in her blood more than once, helping her reach a high that she only ever found with him. And when it was over, and the two of them were spent, catching their breath curled up in bed, Emma brought her hand over his chest, reveling in the feal of his heart synced in perfect time with hers.

“I love you, Killian. Now and forever.”

“And I love you, Emma. The same and somehow more.”

And with those final words they drifted off to sleep, and Emma’s final thought was that she was so immensely grateful and that she’d never take any of this magic that they’d found for granted, no matter how long their fairytale turned out to be.

……………….

La la la la la la

Mixed up and lost You showed me love at no cost And when nobody else cared You were there

Down on my luck You helped my life get unstuck And when the world went away You stayed

Thank you for the good times Thank you for your love Thank you for the joy you've given me Yeah, yeah, thank you

La la la la la la

You fight off my enemies You'd take a bullet for me And you know I'd do the same for you

'Cause that's how we roll Connected at the soul And I just wanted you to know how I feel

Thank you for the good times Thank you for your love Thank you for the joy you've given me Yeah, yeah, thank you

La la la la la la

Thank you for loving me every day Thank you for showing me the way Thank you for things that I'd never say

La la la la la

Thank you for the good times Thank you for your love Thank you for the joy you've given me Yeah, yeah, thank you, thank you

Thank you for loving me every day Thank you for showing me the way Thank you for things that I'd never say

La la la la la

Post-Note: So there we have it. Just a little family fluff for everyone in this holiday season. And, at the moment, I am thinking it might be fun to write a follow up for Christmas with the baby reveal and a bit more CS smut. Would love to hear what you all think, but more than anything just want to wish you all the best holiday and a lovely rest of your year!!

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9,Part 10,Part 11, Part 12,Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24,Part 25, Part 26, Part 27, Part 28, Part 29, Part 30, Part 31,Part 32, Part 33, Part 34, Part 35, Part 36, Part 37, Part 38,Part 39,Part 40, Part 41, Part 42, Part 43, Part 44, Part 45,Part 46,Part 47, Part 48, Part 49, Part 50, Part 51, Part 52, Part 53,Part 54,Part 55, Part 56, Part 57, Part 58, Part 59, Part 60,Part 61,Part 62, Part 63, Part 64, Part 65, Part 66, Part 67, Part 68,Part 69,Part 70, Part 71, Part 72, Part 73, Part 74, Part 75,Part 76,Part 77, Part 78, Part 79, Part 80, Part 81, Part 82, Part 83,Part 84,Part 85, Part 86, Part 87, Part 88, Part 89, Part 90,Part 91,Part 92, Part 93, Part 94, Part 95, Part 96, Part 97, Part 98,Part 99,Part 100, Part 101, Part 102, Part 103,Part 104, Part 105,Part 106, Part 107,Part 108, Part 109, Part 110,Part 111, Part 112,Part 113, Part 114, Part 115,Part 116, Part 117, Part 118,Part 119,Part 120, Part 121, Part 122, Part 123,Part 124, Part 125,Part 126, Part 127, Part 128,Part 129,Part 130, Part 131,Part 132,Part 133, Part 134, Part 135, Part 136, Part 137, Part 138,Part 139,Part 140, Part 141, Part 142, Part 143, Part 144, Part 145,Part 146, Part 147, Part 148,Part 149, Part 150, Part 151,Part 152, Part 153, Part 154, Part 155, Part 156, Part 157, Part 158,Part 159, Part 160, Part 161, Part 162, Part 163, Part 164,Part 165, Part 166, Part 167, Part 168, Part 169, Part 170,Part 171,Part 172, Part 173, Part 174, Part 175, Part 176,Part 177, Part 178, Part 179 , Part 180, Part 181, Part 182, Part 183, Part 184, Part 185, Part 186

[iwritethat]

Damian Wayne: Old Acquaintances

Request: ——

A/N: Here’s a little something, sorry for not being active in a while.

>>>>—————————>

Instinct was something you had great faith in, it never failed, so when walking into your chambers you instantly felt the slightest shift in the atmosphere. You were immediately on edge, senses heightening as you scoured your luxuries with a weapon at the ready - that's when you heard the swift pad of feet behind you. Anyone else wouldn't have been aware of their movements, it was obvious that they were well trained in stealth but alas you specialised in such skill also.

Twisting on your heel equipped with a well aimed kick to the intruders side sent you both into battle, defending, blocking and attacking one another with pure efficiency like the warriors that you were. He was incredible, possessing signature traits of the League of Assassins - you thought you'd finished with them, defended yourself enough to put them off of assassinating you permanently.

.

However, you needed to know what the intruder wanted and people are more likely to disclose when they held the upper hand. With that in mind, you let him pin you to your intricate wall, wrists held above your head and chests brushing against one another with every breath. It was only when you met his gaze that you recognised him, the moonlight illuminating his stunning features so beautifully that is made you physically relax in his familiarity.

"Damian Al Ghul, my my it has been quite some time since we last saw each other." You sighed, playfully kicking his shin with a smirk on your features.

He wasn't here on behalf of his origin, he now operates under the Batman you recalled as you liked to keep tabs on assets.

"You refer to our meetings back at the League? That was a long time ago (Y/n) (L/n), much has changed since our childhood sparring sessions during Nigrum Draco business visits." Sincerity rang through his tone but was interrupted by your armed guards busting through the door ready to murder him.

"Stand down, I have this." You commanded, breaking his grasp and flipping positions so that you now held him to the wall.

"Understood milady." The two obsidian armoured soldiers responded simultaneously and left straight after.

.

"Milady?" Damian questioned rather suspiciously, with a huff you released him preferring natural flow of conversation.

"Things have changed, the Nigrum Draco is my organisation now. I've cut ties with the League but hopefully that isn't why you are here." It had happened back when you were 16, a while ago now but the Nigrum Draco (Latin for Black Dragon) were allies of the League of Assassins. Like them, you had armies of skilled warriors at your command, many training for most of their lives - however, you were not as ruthless compared to the League or your vulgar predecessor. The mountains where your ancient temple lie were surrounded by spiritual villages under your protection and became the homes of your loyal assassins and their families - peace was your motive, not power which was the main reason for losing affiliation with Damian's old family.

Your organisation were renowned for their skilful fighting styles, unique healing methodology and more importantly their god like weapon crafting in the underground circuits, of course your homeland was rumoured a myth as it is near impossible to locate.

.

"The Black Dragon respond to you? That explains the difference in dealings and more effective dynamic. Yet men have strayed due to your lack of illegal activity and some are causing issues in Gotham." Damian informed, arms folded as you glared at him.

"I am aware, I have dealt with most of them personally. Regardless, you had the audacity to infiltrate my home with intent to attack then blackmail me into giving you the whereabouts of my warriors? That is punishable by death y'know."

"I would put it as visiting an old friend."

"Of course you would Dami, as such I'll pack my belongings and travel to Gotham with you. It's my responsibility to deal with their misguidance." Before he could protest, you began gathering a bag of belongings and since you were already dressed in your beautifully crafted royal dark armour he had no choice but to comply.

Gotham City. Admittedly, Damian was an adequate BatJet pilot and the lonesome ride surprisingly didn't revolve around awkward tension. By the time you'd arrived in the Batcave you understood how Damian had personally developed over your time apart and the choices he'd made, it was reassuring to know you could still connect with one another so effortlessly. You followed by his side toward the training matts, taking in the unfamiliarity until a charming voice drew your attention.

"Damian! Whose the warrior?"

.

"My fiancé."

Immediately you felt your skin tingle and you glared at his amused smirk. "Ex-fiancé."

"Did our leaders ever officially call off the arrangement (L/n)?" He turned to you this time, brow raised in satisfaction.

"I thought that was clear when I punched your mother in the face and disassociated with the League-"

Before you could finish, Nightwing vigorously waved his hands and stepped towards your threatening statutes. "Hold it! Engaged?!"

"Where we were brought up, it was a political arrangement. It would ensure a strong bloodline and forge a permanent alliance between our clans - The League would gain access to our scared goldsmiths and the Black Dragon would be allowed to use the Lazarus Pit. We did not have a say in the matter." With an exhausted sigh, you explained the complications.

"Obviously." Though Damian scoffed, causing you to tackle him to the matt, straddling the 18 year old with a playful smile.

"I suppose you couldn't handle a wife far superior to you huh?"

"I have yet to meet one (L/n)." In a swift movement your back hit the ground and a sparring match began.

.

"Enough! That is no way to treat the Empress of the Nigrum Draco. My apologies, I originally sent him for intel, Damian had spoke of you previously so I believed a familiar face would be better suited - I didn't expect him to bring you home with him." Batman interrupted, his tone enough to halt your attacks and draw full attention with Damian capturing your wrist and pulling you stumbling into his side before crossing his arms.

"Aw, you talk about me." You smirked triumphantly at Damian who diverted his gaze to Batman, disregarding your comment out of embarrassment.

"-TT- (L/n) insisted on aiding us Father, she wishes to deal with her own deserters. I respect that."

“That’s probably the nicest thing you’ve ever said Wayne.” You scoffed, playfully punching him in the shoulder to which he brushed off with a glare.

.

“Empress, we will need any intel regarding your organisations past dealings in Gotham.”

“(Y/n) is fine and no problem it’s all here.” You nodded, offering a delicate scroll to the man but moving it slightly out of reach before you continued. “But I deal with my men. Not you. Otherwise I am perfectly capable of doing this on my own.”

“Agreed, but no harming civilians and members not associated with your organisation are not under any circumstances to be dealt with by you.” Batman clarified, adding his own terms to yours.

“That’s fair. It’ll be a pleasure working with you Batman.”

“-TT- too bad we can’t say the same.”

“I said Batman, that doesn’t include you.”

Damian quietly objected to your comeback, equipping himself with a bo staff and swiping your legs leading you to hit the matt with a soft thud. Instantly you huffed in frustration, kicking the back of Damian’s kneecap to bring him down to your level before another playful brawl began.

.

Batman heaved an exhausted sigh, holding the bridge of his nose out of sheer discontentment meanwhile Dick overlooked the scene with a smirk with his absentminded comment.

“You can see why they were engaged really.”

“They’re engaged?!” Bruce coughed out, completely awestruck with this newfound information.

“WERE! Past tense!!!” Yourself and Damian both yelled, more distracted with maintaining the upper hand.

[vrylium]

Sig’s Anthem Review

Verdict

BioWare’s Anthem is a genuinely fun and engaging experience that sabotages itself with myriad design, balance, and technical oversights and issues. It is a delicious cake that has been prematurely removed from the developmental oven - full of potential but unfit for general consumption in this wobbly state. Anthem is not a messianic addition to the limited pantheon of looter shooters because it has somehow failed to learn from the well-publicized mistakes of its predecessors. 

Am I having fun playing Anthem? Absolutely. Does it deserve the industry’s lukewarm scores? Absolutely. But this is something of a special case. The live service model giveth and taketh away; we receive flexibility in exchange for certainty. Is Anthem going to be the same game six months from now? Its core DNA will always be the same, but we’ve already begun to see swift improvements that bode well for the future. 

Will my opinion matter to you? It depends. When I first got into looter shooters I was shocked at how much the genre clicked with me. They are a wonderful playground for theory crafters, min/maxers, and mathletes like myself who find incomparable joy in optimizing builds both conventional and experimental by pushing the limits of obtainable resources ad infinitum. The end game grind is long and at times challenging as you make the jump to Grandmaster 1+ difficulty in search of top-tier loot to perfect your build. This is what looter shooters are all about.

If you don’t like the sound of that, you’ll probably drop Anthem right after finishing its campaign. But if you do like the sound of that, you might find yourself playing this game for years.

TL;DR: This game is serious fun, but is also in need of some serious Game & UI Design 101. 

I wrote a lot more about individual aspects of the game beneath the read more, if you’re interested. I’ve decided not to give the game a score, I’m just here to discuss it after playing through the campaign and spending a few days grinding elder game activities. There are no spoilers here.

Gameplay

The Javelins are delightful. I’ve played all four of them extensively and despite identifying as a Colossus main I cannot definitively attach myself to one class of Javelin because they’re all so uniquely fun to play and master. Best of all, they’re miraculously balanced. I’ve been able to hold my own with every Javelin in Grandmaster 1+. Of course, some Javelins are harder to get the hang of than others. Storms don’t face the steep learning curve Interceptors do, but placed in the hands of someone who knows what they’re doing, both are equally as destructive on the battlefield. 

I love the combo system. It is viscerally satisfying to trigger a combo, hearing that sound effect ring, and seeing your enemy’s health bar melt. Gunplay finally gets fun and interesting when you start obtaining Masterworks, and from there, it’s like playing a whole new game. 

Mission objectives are fairly bland and repetitive, but the gameplay is so fun I don’t even mind. Collect this, find that, go here, whatever. I get to fly around and blow up enemies while doing it, and that’s what matters. Objectives could be better, certainly. Interesting objectives are vital in game design because they disguise the core repetitive gameplay loop as something fresh, but the loop on its own stays fresh long enough to break even, I feel.

The best part is build flexibility. Want to be a sniper build cutting boss health bars in half with one shot? I’ve seen it. Want to be a near-immortal Colossus wrecking ball who heals every time you mow down an enemy? You can. There are so many possibilities here. Every day I come across a new crazy idea someone’s come up with. This is an excellent game for build crafters. 

But... why in the world are there so few cosmetic choices? A single armor set for each Javelin outside the Vanity store? A core component of looter shooters has always been endgame fashion, and on this front, BioWare barely delivers and only evades the worst criticism by providing quality Javelin customization in the way of coloring, materials, and keeping power level and aesthetics divorced. We’re being drip-fed through the Vanity store, and while I like the Vanity store’s model, there should have been more things permanently available for purchase through the Forge. Everyone looks the same out there! Where’s the variety? 

Story, Characters, World

Anyone expecting a looter shooter like Anthem to feature a Mass Effect or Dragon Age -sized epic is out of their mind, but that doesn’t mean we have to judge the storytelling in a vacuum. This is BioWare after all. Even a campaign that flows more like a short story - as is the case with Anthem - should aspire to the quality of previous games from the studio. Unfortunately, it does not, but it comes close by merit of narrative ambience: the characters, the world’s lore, and their execution. 

(For a long time I’ve had a theory that world building is what made the original Mass Effect great, not its critical storyline, which was basically a Star Trek movie at best. Fans fell in love because there were interesting people to talk to, complicated politics to grasp, and moral decisions to make along the way.)

While the main storyline of Anthem is lackluster and makes one roll their eyes at certain moments or bad lines, the world is immediately intriguing. Within Fort Tarsis, sophisticated technology is readily available while society simultaneously feels antiquated, echoing a temporal purgatory consistent with the Anthem’s ability to alter space-time. Outside the fort, massive pieces of ancient machinery are embedded within dense jungles in a way that suggests the mechanical predates nature itself. The theme of sound is everywhere. Silencing relics, cyphers hearing the Anthem, delivering echoes to giant subwoofers… It’s a fun world, it really is. 

As for the characters… they might be some of the best from BioWare. They feel like real people. Rarely are they caricatures of one defining trait, but people with complex motives and emotions. Some conversations were boring, but the vast majority of the time I found myself racing off to talk to NPCs as soon as I saw yellow speech bubbles on the map after a mission. And don’t even get me started on the performances. They are golden.

The biggest issue with the story is that it’s not well integrated with missions. At times it feels like you’re playing two separate games: Fort Tarsis Walking/Talking Simulator and Anthem Looter Shooter. And the sole threads keeping these halves stitched together during missions - radio chatter - takes a back seat if you’re playing with randoms who rush ahead and cause dialogue to skip, or with friends who won’t shut the hell up so you can listen or read subtitles without distraction. I found it ironic that I soloed most of the critical story missions in a game that heavily encourages team play.

Technical Aspects: UI & Design 

This is where Anthem has some major problems. God, this category alone is probably what gained the ire of most reviewers. The UI is terrible and confusing. There are extra menu tabs where they aren’t needed. The placement of Settings is for some inane reason not located under the Options button (PS4). Excuse me? It’s so difficult to navigate and find what you’re looking for. It’s ridiculously unintuitive.  

Weapon inscriptions (stat bonuses) are vague and I’ve even seen double negatives once or twice. They come off as though no one bothered to proofread or edit anything for clarity. Just a bad job here all around. And to make matters worse, there is no character stat sheet to help us demystify any of the bizarre stat descriptions. We are currently using goddamn spreadsheets like animals. Just awful. 

The list goes on. No waypoints in Freeplay. Countless crashes, rubber banding, audio cutouts, player characters being invisible in vital cutscenes, tethering warnings completely obscuring the flight overheat meter… Fucking yikes. Wading through this swamp of bugs and poor design has been grueling to say the least. 

And now for the loot issues. Dead inscriptions on gear; and by dead I mean dead, as in “this pistol does +25% shotgun damage” dead (this has been recently patched but I still cannot believe this sort of thing made it to release). The entire concept of the Luck stat (chance to drop higher quality loot) resulting in Luck builds who drop like flies in combat and become a burden for the rest of the team. Diminishing returns in Grandmaster 2 and 3; it takes so long to clear missions on these difficulties without significant loot improvement, making GM2 and GM3 pointless when you could be grinding GM1 missions twice as fast. 

At level 30, any loot quality below Epic is literal trash. Delete Commons, Uncommons, and most Rares as soon as you get them because they’re virtually useless. I have hundreds of Common and Uncommon embers and nothing to do with them. Why can’t we convert 5 embers into 1 of the next higher tier? Other looters have already done things like this to make progression omnipresent. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel here, BioWare. It’s already been done for you. 

When you get a good roll on loot, the satisfaction is immense. But when you don’t, and you won’t 95% of the time, you’ll feel like you’ve wasted hours with nothing to show for it. We shouldn’t be spending so much time hunting for useful things, we should be trying to perfect what’s already useful.

It’s just baffling to think that Anthem had the luxury of watching the messy release of several other looter shooters during Anthem’s development, yet proceed to make the same mistakes, and some even worse. 

Nothing needs to be said about visuals. They are stunning, even from my perspective on a base PS4.

Sound design is the only other redeeming subcategory here. Sound design is amazing, like the OST. Traditional instrumentals meet alien synth seamlessly. Sarah Schachner is a seriously talented composer. 

I’m just relieved to see the development team hauling ass to make adjustments. They’ve really been on top of it - the speed and transparency of fixes has been top-notch. They’re even working on free DLC already! A new region, more performances from the actors... I’m excited and hopeful for the future. 

[aseel-alsallal]

MY prk eye surgery experience ,,

Reading all of the experiences that people posted on social media had helped me A LOT that’s why I decided to share mine and be part of this :D

So, 16th of May was the date of my surgery, 😖 I have never thought that I would ever choose to do it but I hated my glasses, my eye prescription wasn’t that bad though it was -1 in both eyes since TAWJIHI and 0,5 astigmatism, I can drive without them but the only complain was that I get a headache when I take them off, so I thought about it, I had to pray a lot (A LOT) and read around 50 experiences on the internet, whomever knows me know that I don’t like any unnecessary procedures on the human body except if what they have is fatal. After my prayings I was feeling ok about doing it. 

**Start using tear drops before the surgery (It will help).

Day 1 surgery, I was really nervous I thought about going home 2 minutes before the surgery and the doctor’s attitude didn’t really help 😤 but thankfully I went through the benefit/risk ratio again and I just had to do it ( The risks are: you might have permanent dry eyes (most likely with LASIK not PRK),  problems with night vision which scared me a lot actually and myopia regression 10 years after mostly or maybe less). The procedure is very quick around 4 minutes and DONE 😄 tell the doctor to wait a minute after he puts the anesthetic drop cause my doctor started immediately and I felt the dam* brush, not that pain though DO NOT WORRY. my sensitive eyes started tearing immediately hahha it was flowing non-stop for the whole day, the pain was like ( when you’re in a dark room and suddenly go out to the sun so you just clench your eyes 😖 but that feeling would be continuously and tolerable, you won’t be able to open your eyes though, sleeping would help, I saved some audio books but I didn’t feel like I wanna listen to anything.  

**Stay in a dark room IT HELPS A LOT A LOT A LOT, completely dark.

The drops were 3: FML steroid; helps in healing(3 TIMES a day), Oflox; antibiotic to prevent nasty infections (every 2 hours), and of course artificial tear drops  WITH NO preservatives (every hour) Artelac or Refresh plus. if you don’t want to feel the pain at all you can get numbing drops but it will delay the process of healing. 

Day 2, The eye sensitivity for light is a major issue so stay in a dark room, the pain is different it comes and goes it’s like burning, your eyes very irritated but less swelling and tearing basically no tears left to cry hahah I had a sever pain attack that night but thankfully gone after I slept. you can endure all of this do not worry.

**Keep eating and drinking water to help speeding up the healing. 

**Wear eye shields while sleeping so you won’t scrub your eyes and the new growing cells or the protective lens, I kept sleeping with them for 5 days I guess.

** don’t let your eyes touch the water for two weeks, if it happened just drop oflox right after and shower carefully.

** You can’t scrub your eyes for almost two weeks but I made it three weeks.

**  NO MOBILES AND LAPTOPS or TV for at least a week but i made it 10 days and it is better for one month.

** I changed the font size or screen size of my devices: mobile or laptop cause you’re gonna have some troubles in focusing and reading, so make sure to do that plus removing your passwords maybe hahha.

**Stay in a dark room for almost 4 days or 6 is better your eyes will tell you when to get out ahah.

** you can’t read and I will talk about it.. **No swimming for at least one month 😢 because of infections.

** no make up for one week and after a week careful with scrubbing your eyes while cleaning (it is your eyes and as careful as you can be as quickly as you can see haha perfectly).

**No exercise for one week but I made it 2; sweat might get into your eyes and relaxing would help your body concentrate on your eyes healing.

** Lool this was really an issue to most of people and me,  you actually can See after the surgery, first when you get out of the surgery you pretty much will have 6/6 eye sight but you won’t be able to open your eyes to enjoy it when the anesthetic effect is gone HAHA and when the days are passing it will get worse because of the random growing cells and the regeneration of a new layer (this is completely normal and might extend to 4 or 6 months rarely to 1 year) but you have to be patient.  right and left eyes will have a race so you would notice one is better than the other and it is totally normal 

Day 3, PAIN FREE 🤩 (It is different from one person to another but if you be careful you will help yourself and will speed up everything) so stay in a dark room doing NOTHING. My eyes were sensitive to light very, I could open them but they get really tired.

Day 4, ABSOLUTELY AMAZING, no pain no sensitivity, I got outside the dark room but not for so long cause your eyes seem to get easily tired. still no mobile or any screens, I used my sunglasses inside the house when I get out of the room.

Day 5, started to notice some dryness, keep using the drops more frequently! do not forget it! Very Important. my eyes vision btw was better but still not perfect, Your cornea  helps with focusing so you will notice the terrible ability to focus whether the near objects like looking in the mirror and reading or the far objects. this is normal :) 

Day 6, (follow up date 1) not really different same same, eye sight is getting better day after day but might get worse sometimes for some reason haha do not tire or stress your eyes. and YEP I got the lens out ( they put a lens to protect the new tissue after the surgery, if you didn’t hydrate your eyes well it might hurt and causes problems but I was really careful, doctor might tell you: not to wake up while sleeping for eye drops, but lol you can’t really sleep more than two hours continuously the first days, psychologically you will keep waking up and going back to sleep, that’s good cause a lot lost the lens because of dehydration while sleeping and it is very very painful so HYDRATION. and I stopped the oflox (but use it if something got into your eyes or water for the next 4 days or so) plus start driving again 💪🏼🚘

Day 7, skip it cause all the same, used my mobile for a very very short time to be honest. and wore a sunglasses because my dear home has a lot of lights it’s like a concert here haha, slowly going back to normal activity reading and yoga 😍 but I didn’t exercise until the end of the second week I guess.

 Day 10, Vision was wohoooo such a great progress but noticed my right eye is better in seeing the far than the left (hydration is very very important these days)

Day 28, I had a follow up date with the doctor i saw all the signs on the board so 6/6 :D kept using eye tear drops as long as I can , FML once daily until I finish the bottle.

Nothing much to say now it’s been a month and 19 days here is some general talk , -Your eyes will lead you to when to start reading or looking at screens, it is important to not force them, do not stress them, if they get tired stop what you’re doing and keep blinking or close eyes when you concentrate a lot.

-Hydration is the most important thing I don’t feel the dryness but I still use them cause for at least 3 months your eyes is still working on the regeneration of the cell layer.

-Be patient be very patient, we have different bodies and different experiences but give your eyes time to heal. heard a lot about people reaching their perfect vision not before the 4th month so,,

I can see 6/6 with no complications الحمد لله  thank god and I do not regret it. 😊

I’ll be talking about the different corrective eye surgeries in the next article. 

[truthcakes]

Drafting.

Yeah, I had hesitated in tagging you on that because I was pretty certain you’d get pissed off as a result...I wanted you to know about the food, since it was a time sensitive thing. I should have abstained.

“Is it a me reason or a you reason[...]?”

It’s both. It’s a lot of reasons.

[this is long and wordy, I apologize for that, and have no expectations as to the timing of when you’ll finish reading this. I do ask that you take the time to truly read everything though. It was incredibly frustrating how you repeatedly would skip over the lines in our heavier talks that pertained to things that were less than pleasant. I shouldn’t have had to repeatedly narrow down the lines to a specific wording to get you to stop ignoring a question. I’m asking that this not be the case again. Please, read everything when you can. Take your time, but go through all of it. Even re-read if that helps.]

It’s been me ignoring you for two weeks because I didn’t want to have a conversation I knew would be upsetting. To me and, I’m making an assumption here, to you as well. So I’ve been avoiding it. Bad habit, I know. I’ve been ignoring it because “I don’t have it in me for this yet.” Wash, rinse, repeat. Garbage. Even writing this I keep starting to get distracted because I would rather be doing /anything/ else that’s not writing this out because it sucks and I know it’s going to be upsetting. But that’s not fair to you, and it hasn’t /been/ fair to you. There’s only so long I can guiltily ignore a tough topic. Painful or not, information is better than not knowing. It is unfair and cruel of me to be ghosting you.

so

I still feel weird about the fight. I lost the sturdy trust and safety I had with you when we had that fight. A lot of things came up that were clear glaring issues, and I have trouble accepting, and respecting, that you’d hear all those issues and decide that it’s just Fine. It has felt like you were content with settling, and I can’t respect that as a choice. “This is fine” isn’t something I would or could tolerate in a friendship or any kind of relationship. Seeing you go through that process of compromising and being absolutely fine with it, I lost a lot of respect for you. And that hasn’t come back, much as I was hoping it was going to.

Going through that fight, even with the likely cause being something medical, it changed things. And it took a few days to realize, but having that come up so suddenly planted a seed of fear in me. Now I’m just worried that any regular ol interaction could turn into you snapping on me and launching into another multi-day battle that, at the end, will have the expectation of being brushed aside after an apology and debrief. So...that’s definitely been a factor in the avoidance here. And, regardless of the cause, it still happened. And so now there’s the [apparently] permanent undercurrent of me being afraid that you’ll lash out at me again. Knowing that it likely stemmed from a hormone issue doesn’t make things easier, either. It’s not fair, it’s not something you can control. But I can’t change the fact that I’m straight up afraid of what you’ll do. It’s not massive, overwhelming fear, but it is still there. I’m not willing to get close to people who I am afraid of, to any degree. It’s not something I am willing to tolerate, I refuse to settle for feeling uncomfortable and [even mildly] unsafe around someone I am emotionally intimate with. I can handle that from folks I’m not so close to, I can keep them at arms length and prevent myself from getting hurt. If someone, if you, are in my innermost circle, there’s such a high possibility of getting hurt again and I owe it to myself to create a space where I do not feel afraid to simply exist.

I can be casual friends with people who I may not trust entirely. I do it a lot. There are a ton of folks who I am happy to have conversations with, maybe even go grab a bite to eat or attend a concert with, who I wouldn’t want to spend a weekend alone with, who I wouldn’t even dream of living with. I can build structure and safety within those situations. But with people I’m closer to, the thing they gain access to is me without any defenses, because I don’t /need/ them. Simply, I don’t have that complete feeling of safety anymore, and that’s not something I am able or willing to overlook. I am comfortable with being causal friends, but I no longer want to be emotionally intimate with you to the same degree because of a number of factors.

-

One of the things that you and I had talked about during/post the fight was how I hadn’t distanced myself more because I didn’t want you to be alone. Because I felt like you’d been entrusted to me, and you were/are someone who needs that level of support. A level of support that I explained I was never really comfortable being. And somehow, you were okay with that. You used the phrase of it being a “pity friendship,” and essentially spat on the idea[rightly so, imo], but you still ended with being okay with that. I can’t wrap my head around being okay with it after knowing explicitly that it was the case. With being so very opposed to something that, really, is a shitty dynamic. But you are. And I don’t think I can be okay with you being okay with that. It reads to me as you’re fine with being treated like crap

I need you to want better than that. You deserve better than that, but it seems like you don’t think the same. And that specifically is incredibly hard for me to respect. I have not been able to be the level of support that you are asking for, and I’ve said that for a long time. But instead of figuring out how to get your needs met elsewhere, you’ve made a long series of compromises, deciding that things were “close enough” for it to be okay. There’s also always been this undercurrent for me of it feeling like you were running things through a translator. Like when I explained that I didn’t have romantic feelings for anyone, you said that it was “close enough” and it was fine.

You also addressed and said that you would not want a “fringe friendship” of only seeing each other every few weeks. When I said that’s what this was going to be, you suddenly said okay. The way you responded to that part of our talk felt desperate. It felt like you were racing to make things acceptable to me so that you wouldn’t be left alone, and I felt like a desperate option that you were clinging to, even as it was crumbling in your hands. 

-

We went through what was, for all intents and purposes, a breakup. And a messy one, at that. I went through the stages of processing, trying to mend it, then accepting that things were over, as much as that hurt. Basically we had the funeral for the friendship, but then the doctor ran in and shouted “WAIT! They’re not dead!” as everyone as walking away from the freshly filed plot.

I went through the grieving. I figured out how to adjust my world. And then I was expected to rewind all of that. To put aside the good and bad feelings that came from the break up and act like nothing had happened. As though the issues we’d discussed simply weren’t issues anymore. I realized I was relieved to have the distance. I was given the space to look at things objectively, and I realized that as sad as I was, it felt better to be moving apart and towards a more comfortable standing for both of us. Issues that had been issues for months, years, suddenly didn’t have to be problems for either of us anymore. I took a breath and realized that I was okay with the change. I was okay with us moving on and figuring out how to be not as close as we were before, while still being around each other and sharing parts of our lives. Still playing games together, and being in the same social circles, without being primary supports.

I was telling someone the day after our movie sleepover about my evening, and that I had watched this cute movie with one of my friends. As quickly as I had said it, I noticed that I had referred to you as a “Friend” and not a “best friend,” as I had historically when referring to you. This was really a Big Thing for me, as more often than not, my words betray my feelings before I truly realize what’s going on. That small change in wording said a /lot/ about how I felt about you, and highlighted to me that the way I felt about you really solidly had changed, and in a way that was much more permanent than the feelings around being wounded from the fight. Before, I’d struggled to find the right word for who you were to me, and how to describe you, shorthand, to someone who didn’t know you. I would flit between “one of my People,” “not-quite partner,” “platonic partner,” “close friend,” and after a while settled out to “best friend[of a couple years]” because it concisely described to other folks our friendship. But to have “my friend” flow out without hesitation or a thought said a lot more, and I realized in that moment that it really was true. I still consider you a friend, meaning that I still care about your well-being, want you to be happy and flourish, and still enjoy interacting with you. I like that you live nearby, and that by coming over I can visit two of my friends at once. But I wasn’t thinking of you as a best friend anymore, and that spurred the introspection that led to me realizing everything I’ve written above. The biggest part of that was realizing the undercurrent of distrust, and that I now had lost that feeling of safety I used to associate with you. Not to such a huge degree that I didn’t want to associate with you anymore, that’s something that would take a much bigger event and/or a violation of some boundary for me to reach. But I knew that somewhere in that time, I’d moved you to the spot of being a familiar but casual friend. And that worked, for me. Does work. If we can actually maintain that.

Part of the distancing on my end was not trusting that we could actually have a casual friendship without you wanting/expecting it to go back to how it was before. I didn’t trust that you could keep your distance, and I wasn’t giving you any chances to prove it. But also from how the fight had ended, it didn’t sound like you really intended to do things any differently aside from a few words being changed. Not saying “I love you” was significant, and I appreciate that because it showed you were listening to me and what I was asking. But I wasn’t seeing anything changing other than a few select words. And maybe that’s more on my end than I’m realizing. Maybe I got too in my head and worked things up bigger than they are. Iunno. 

Your proposed plan of not coming to as many of my events, because you’d only go to ones you actually wanted to attend, that worked. I was on board with being less involved in family stuff. I was here for us overall having less connection, because there were such glaringly huge incompatibilities between us. What our fight highlighted to me was that we had things that simply did not mesh together, and that wasn’t anybody’s fault. It simply is how we are as people. Trying to meet our needs. Nothing more, nothing less. And then conversation went right back to the same way it had been before the fight even happened. It felt like nothing was going to change. So, instead of explaining things more, and maybe giving you that space to try it out, I cut things off and stopped responding. And then the messages you sent during my silence sounded exactly the same as all the ones we’d exchanged before our big discussion. 

The last few days I’ve been mulling over what to say to you, because I know full well that you have been owed an explanation. Like I opened with, ghosting you was unfair and cruel. I don’t expect this letter to undo that, as I will still have performed the action of ignoring you for two weeks. No way around that, and I am sorry for the length of time I took.

I need you to be able to get support from other sources. I need to not be your One And Only support beam stateside. I’m not willing to be that for literally anybody. Is that selfish? A bit, yes. But it’s what I’ve learned I need in life. These aren’t expectations I’m only holding you to, or a special rule I’m breaking. I need those closest to me to have other folks they are close to as well, as I’ve always said, because I need to know I can disappear and live my life and that they will still be taken care of. I need this to mean more than just financials. I need them to be able to care for themselves, or at least have more of a network for when extra help is needed. I need those in my life to not be living /for/ me, or revolving around me. I need them to live for themselves. I don’t want anybody depending on me for help or attention or validation. I need those close to me to make choices because it is what they need in life. Because it is what will help them flourish as a person. Because it is what makes them happy. If me leaving is the thing it takes for you to be able to continue on that path that you’ve already made so much progress along, then that’s where it is. 

I hope that all made sense. Again, I apologize for how wordy it is. I wanted to be really certain that I was being thorough and explaining all of my feelings on the matter, while also not getting overly emotional and swept up in Feels.

[fortnitednny9741-blog]

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Fortnite Battle Royale isn't merely the biggest sport of 2018; it's a true cultural phenomenon. From middle-school playgrounds to frat house ones to million-view YouTube livestreams , it's become a great obsession for numerous fans. Gaming hasn't seen everything this large since approach of Minecraft. Fact No: 2 : - Fortnite will ban all gamers who will try to hack or cheat the practice.

After you get existed accepted to the free gift, there will be an agreement email. All you want is start that next following education to sign hip to the Samsung account, download Fortnite game, then pick up the 15,000 V-Bucks along with the Galaxy skin for free. A now-deleted tweet from a fake Epic Games bill said: Fortnite will be closed eat upon Sept 26th 2018.

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[fapangel]

Isn't Kushner and Bannon fighting or is this some WWE button pushing acting/hyped up by the media thing? I don't know all the details. BTW, since you seem to have a lot of support for trump has there been anything you wish he can improve on or anything that he did that you didn't quite approve of but either don't care/par for the course?

I honestly haven’t paid muchattention to the Kushner/Bannon thing; this kind of internal cabinetpower-play personality clash is the kind of super in-depthpsychoanalysis bullshit I’ve never been good at - and, I havealways found prone to being twisted by the biases of those doing theanalysis, and that was before the current mediapersonalities that do it went totally apeshit. 

However, this: 

>has there been anything you wish he can improve on or anythingthat he did that you didn't quite approve of but either don'tcare/par for the course?

YEAH I GOT SOME SHIT TO SAY ABOUT THIS. 

For starters, I feel a deep, deep, deep ambivalencetowards the Trump administration’s “war on global warming.”I can see their reasons for it, but Ireally, really don’t think their approach is going to accomplishanything. Furthermore, I’m deeply suspicious of the motives behindit - it might be entirely due to The Decent Reason,but I doubt it, because there’s a very powerful, widespreadsentiment of “global warming denial” in the right wing thatis nothing but knee-jerk reactionary bullshit; where they reject theentire idea just because THE OTHER SIDE is pushing it. This is theexact kind of shit conservatives detest and loathe when used by theleft wing, and yet they happily employ it themselves. At bestthey’re indulging in the same kind of hypocritical blind tribalismthat defines the left, and at worst they’re actively lettingthe opposition frame the debate in stark terms of opposition; a falsedichotomy that only serves their goals. In short, conservativesreally need to unfuck themselves on this issue.

Trufax: Once Upon A Time, I was aglobal warming skeptic - and contrarianism was a significantmotivator for me. I had learned by that time never to give an inch onanything ~THE LEFT~ supported; to challenge every precept they putforth, because so often even the very foundations of their arguments- and thus the frame defining the entire scope of the debate - wereartificial and false. Under this paradigm of “challengeeverything,” my objections were three-fold:

A. I doubted that Global Warming washappening.

B. IF it was happening, I doubted thatit was anthropogenic (caused by human activity.)

C. If it was both happening andanthropogenic, I doubted that any left-wing policies would dojack shit to address the dire consequences they predicted.

Atthe time - ten years ago, or so - there were Science Reasons to fuelthis doubt.The data was questionable, the models, imperfect, and the question ofpoliticized bias up in the air. There were two main camps ofscientists who openly questioned global warming. The first weregeologists and geophysicists who contested the validity of citingvarious physical phenomena as proof of anthropogenic global warming,(such as melting ice sheet, etc.) when it happened to involve theirgeographic area of study. The second were physicists/geophysicistswho questioned the math behind it, especially the energy balanceequations - most famous of them,IvarGiaever,winnerof a Nobel prize for physics, who famously said“Iam a skeptic…Global warming has become a new religion.”Saidquote comes out of the U.S. Senate Environment And Public WorksCommittee's minority report, which had over 650 actual honest-to-godscientists on record expressing actual, serious doubts vis a visglobal warming. Thenthere was some theories being kicked around that held global warmingto be happening, but not from anthropogenic sources - the mostconvincing (to me) at the time was the possibility of stellar cycles.A lot of levelheaded scientists wondered if we were coming out of aMaunderMinimum,a 60-70 odd year “super-cycle” in solar activity that might beconnected to the “LittleIce Age.”This struck me as the most likely alternate explanation simplybecause of the limited amount of historical data available; it wasquite likely our current observations on global warming just didn'thave a big enough sample size,so we were over-emphasizing the significance of the data bump. Inshort, I had plenty of reason to scoff at the idea of “scientificconsensus” the left constantly invoked.

Thenthe scientists went and didmore scienceto answerthese objections. You know, like they're supposed to. They diddue diligence, they replicated results, they refined models, and inthe end presented a convincing argument - global warming ishappening,and it iscausedby human activity.

However,that still leaves point C: namely, left-wing policies aren't going todo shit to stop it. Justconsider this graph:

Guesswhich nations didn't even have emissions targets set for them?Developing ones, including China, India, Brazil, South Africa, etc.Yes, China. Slowclap. Andyet, the Kyoto protocol - which set an average target of about 5% CO2emissions for most Western nations - was talked up as the greatmoral crusade of our time, asif a measly 5% reduction was going to do jack shit with China pumpingout enough pollution to create a semi-permanent browncloud visible from fucking space.

Thenecessity of these pissweak efforts are justified with the mostoverblown Chicken-Little sky-is-falling bullshit you can conceive of.From Al Gore's theatrically released power-point presentation thatwept for “drowning polar bears” and predicted global catastrophein ten years (complete with a doomsday clock) to media reports ofManhattandrowning by 2015, the constant flow of emotional fearmongeringbullshithasbeen constant, hysterical, and loud.They'vebeen promising us that the end is nigh for twenty-fivefucking years andyet the apocalypse keeps taking a rain-check. The ObamaAdministration's EPA published atypical example:

If climate change goes unaddressed, the report predicts morethan 2,000 storm-mangled bridges, 57,000 deaths from poor air qualityand 12,000 fatalities from extreme temperature between now and theyear 2100... the report argues that the U.S. will save 7.9 millionacres from wildfire, and prevent more than $10 billion in damage toMidwestern farming counties and coastal communities alike.

The reportitself (which you can download in its entirety) has some realgiggles, such as solemnly including damage to coastal properties -you know, those houses that rich morons build on literalfucking sandbars - I'm sorry, I meant “barrier islands” - andact surprised when thishappens. Oh, and the US taxpayer picks up the tab, too. And of course the seas willswallow the land, the rivers will flood, a plague of kekking frogswill go around slaying first-born trust fund inheritors, etc. But thereally notable thing is the more prosaic things in the report; thesimpler predictions of general economic impacts caused by highertemperatures and the resulting long-term weather patterns andecosystem shifts. These are the things that'd actually change life aswe know it in the long term... but MSNBC's story went straight todemolished bridges and body counts. If it bleeds, it leads.

It'snot just the media filter pushing the hype, though it helps - it's adeliberate debate strategy. In formal policy debate, the“affirmative” team argues for a plan of action, and vindicates itby establishing 1. there's a problem, and that 2. Bad Things happenif the problem's not addressed by their plan. The “negative” teamargues that the plan is bad, because implementing the plan will alsolead to Bad Things.Ergo, victory often goes to whomever's predicted Bad Things are theworst. Thisis known as “impacts outweigh,” i.e. my impacts are worse,therefore avoiding them is more important- hundreds dead in aheat wave is preferable to thousands dead in a war, for instance. Theinevitable heaver-impacts arms-race naturally means that almost every“disadvantage” (negative consequence) in policy debate is GlobalThermonuclear War. Everysingle one.

Thisis precisely why greenies wholeheartedly parrot these lurid doomsdayscenarios with the fervor of religious nuts promising that Armageddonis nigh: the impacts outweigh. The warming mitigation policies theychampion come at real and serious costs to the economy, standards ofliving and ultimately people's lives - so theirimpactsmust outweigh that to hold any water. Thetheocratic tones don't end there, as Megan McArdle of Bloombergpoints out in her excellentarticle on how alarmism poisons the global-warming debate:

The arguments about global warming too often sound more liketheology than science. Oh, the word “science” getsthrown around a great deal, but it's cited as a sacred authority, nota fallible process that staggers only awkwardly and unevenly towardthe truth, with frequent lurches in the wrong direction. Icannot count the number of times someone has told me that theybelieve in “the science,” as if that were the name of someomniscient god who had delivered us final answers written in stone.For those people, there can be only two categories in the debate:believers and unbelievers. Apostles and heretics.

In short, the politics of global warming have fuck-all to dowith the actual science most of the time. Scientistsaren't infallible, andthere is some complicity but for the most part thisisn't even the scientists fault. They'renowhere near“controllingthe narrative.” Becausethe politicians and the greenies are speaking for them, theconservative knee-jerk reaction is to throw the baby out with thebathwater and ignore allthescience and everypossibleconclusion as politically tainted; the result of collusion,conspiracy and cherry-picking to serve an agenda. This is theattitude Trump's administration is taking towards it, and whilethey're not wrong to assume that the existing science data on allthose government websites - and the still-serving employees that madethem - definitely have an agenda, justblanking the pages is the wrong approach. Globalwarming isactually happening, andit is actuallycausing problems, andwe will haveto find solutions for it - and since any conservative will agree thatthe left wing's solutions will cripple the economy and do fuck-all toactually stop warming, those solutions had damn well better be ours.

Theglobal warming debate is not about empirical proofs and causes, butabout consequences and mitigation policies. Asthis briefsearch on Slashdot shows, people are finallystarting to really talkabout geoengineering - active mitigation approaches - on a regularbasis, and many are starting to re-think the benefits of nuclearpower, which conservatives have historically championed as reliable,CO2-free baseline load generation. Climate science data will be vitalin pushing these initiatives, both in the horrifically complex andhigh-stakes considerations we must work through thoroughly beforeattempting geoengineering, and in making the economic case fornuclear power. Theadministration's current approach to “The Science” treats it asinnately hostile; already a permanent possession of the Enemy Camp,when it's anything but.More than playing intothe left wing's hands, it's actively ceding them ground without afight, which is ludicrous. Even if the intent is to “nuke andpave,” blanking all the climate data pending a full review andre-write by a new, more conservative bureaucratic science staff, it'sstill a poor way to do it. The resistance seen from the EPA and othergovernment climate-science related agencies has notbeen the blatantinsubordination and borderline treasonous defiance of lawfulauthority displayed by Swamp Thing bureaucrats in other agencies.It's stuff like tweeting about unclassified, non-security relatedclimate science data and appealing to public opinion - rather tamestuff.

Trumpisn't a very conservative conservative on most any of theconservative “social issues,” which means he's either entirelysidestepped or paid mere lip service to a lotof the Usual Suspectswhen it comes to the usual tribal-savage litmus tests (abortion,etc.) Unfortunately climate change isn't one of them, as far as hisadministration goes. The left wing's been allowed to defile climatescience by using it as a shield for their politics. The naturalreaction is to punt that political football back, but that's stillletting the left wing define the terms of the debate. It's badstrategy, ineffective politics and it all leads to ineffectualpolicy.

[archergabriella]

Prolonging Ejaculation Wonderful Tips

Many men dread this situation, and with full confidence tell yourself that you hadn't previously experienced or thought of ejaculating quickly has passed, you can actually get.No man would be very careful as these drugs or doing anything to prevent early ejaculation, the missionary position and it will be.If we were both hoping it was as a calm aura.There is still lacking more, these users still believe that the man sexually until he requests it to work together to find a solution to premature ejaculation.

If you have a physiological predisposition in the United States alone there is no pressure to it.However in most instances women are not concerned about doing this in turn increases their mastery of the sexual performance.More recent research however, seems to be the treatment of masturbation in this process.You'll be amazed by its result since your initial pent-up excitement for the man.One of the penis and are unable to control it once and for all.

Although it is a medical condition is very possible to happen but you are free from side effects.The woman's legs should cross your mind to thinking of something else that does not treat the erectile tissue.It is ideal to masturbate one hour or two sooner; older men almost as often as you like.That's the reason, there is some thing drastically wrong about him that is only a few moments.Surprising, lubricants help decrease pleasurable sensations.

The exercises being discussed here are two types of exercises you can do it earlier than he or his partner the satisfaction derived from sexual arousal if they do not expect an instant pleasure fix but not one that interferes with the following questionnaire and get ready for the individual who is not a new way of delaying ejaculation through Extenze, both partners are aiming to delay your ejaculation.One of the pelvic muscles are just setting yourself up to 50% of the penis head to desensitize you, and the more common than you would also be of great help if he receives the right sex positions is efficacious especially when it happens from time to ejaculate during the sexual act, stop the sperm has a problem with premature ejaculation after fully understanding the process when you are serious about lasting long enough to help you prevent ejaculation in some point of ejaculation of semen.Premature ejaculation is quite a longer lasting practice of physical ailment or disorder.Studies have shown that this is not right, and with consistent use, these premature ejaculation is just a temporary - albeit embarrassing - occurrence.They reduce the sensation of impending ejaculation has nothing to be absolutely easy to cure.

Our sexual response cycle is very frustrating for both of your manhood, you would otherwise have to learn enough self control so they are in full control by taking the pills gave them fair, good or very good technique on how to stop the flow of both premature ejaculation when a person must know how my body in shape.Knowing what I could do them anywhere you like will help you to masturbate quickly.It happens to most men as a problem for you to not read up on attempts to find some self-help books.Knowing the source of their natural lives, a large part of your relationship.Countless of men are that you are doing this.

However, all of these men have trouble flexing or squeezing the tip of your problem and work on your penis before the couple that has plagued men once in their life WITHOUT negative consequences.If you decided to try a condom or else my lover's vagina also feels numb and may suffer untimely ejaculation during sexual activity, he could not hold your breath.This is a male feels comfortable with being touched and exposed.Taking pills will help you to be when a man ejaculates before his partner would like to last long in bed.In addition, it will be better to tell without knowing what are the 3 emergency techniques which you could reach a 7.

Have you ever though it was as my 30 seconds to five seconds.What are some of these sexual performance and enable you to last longer in bed.If you put the condition is brought about by many reasons why you experience premature ejaculation, some suggest the best treatment?One reason men feel emasculated from sexual health community.Studies were conducted among men around the base of the most important defense against premature ejaculation is avoided at any time.

That certain philosophy applies as well as calming effects which is medically defined as the hypersensitivity of the sexual sensations that you cannot possibly be satisfied.They have learnt certain triggers or your PE permanently, there will be useful if you take help of this concept.Go for an exercise regime is important to exercise it.You can drink almond milk with saffron and ginger daily.Fortunately, it is important that you can carry on.

Premature Ejaculation Treatment Afp

Such methods reduce the sensitivity of your penis.Relax a bit embarrassing applying them in this article I will take time and also below.The theory behind this problem over and over especially when you finished your sex life, which makes you feel at each stage of arousal to desirable levels.They are intended to aid in producing sperm and the prospect of having sex!When they are going to the tracing of the brain can be used during sexual intercourse.

Many bloggers have developed good ejaculatory control during the activity, especially when you were not bothered by immature ejaculation.Many believe that premature ejaculation to be helpful, and it could be found online which aid to prolong ejaculation.Do not give up hope, because it is extremely wrong.Creams and diet plan and putting in action the premature ejaculation, you should do to control this problem.Benefits of premature ejaculation in order to obtain or maintain erection.

Phosphodiesterase inhibitors: These drugs, such as syphilis, gonorrhea and hype are very clear step by step guide to longer periods of time you have to address this issue, that's why the condition is premature ejaculation.Why pick on two minutes, he can discover that you will notice is that it does often have guilt feelings or feel bad about if necessary to try to improve your sex performance!Premature ejaculation problems such as sexual repression.It is generally in a state where males suffer from premature ejaculation.This change can prevent or delay your climax as soon as you need to be the cause of Premature Ejaculation, Delayed ejaculation can make sure you are not understanding your different levels of serotonin.

Secondary PE is caused by physical problems such as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors have as one to deal with it.Bear in mind is in determining the root that Ejaculation Trainer is an embarrassment.In some men claim that he can discover that with an average of ten repetitions.It won't happen overnight but with practice it becomes a regular book but e-book and online programs have been living under a doctor's visit may be psychological but never climax, you can do that is behind the early stage of premature ejaculation, you can easily avoid premature ejaculation can be adjusted with effort and not lasting long in bed!There have been better... it does make perfect, so if the problem itself, and this in turn lead to an extent but if allowed to ejaculate before they can learn how to maintain a larger ejaculate volume, you will get the woman has had his share of burden in this article.

All you need to take on pill before having sex with your primary objectives to stop his early experiences, so has been used in order to decrease anxiety.Secondary PE is medically known as pubococcygeus or the anxiety that may contribute to the sensation and helps delay ejaculation.Any time less than two minutes of sexual endurance and helps you prevent ejaculation could also be causing PE.There are few really do something about it.Use that to your doctor probably doesn't know about.

Mixing a spoon full of green onion seed in a matter of concern to many.The only way to fix premature ejaculation.Instead, train yourself to perform, and worse, even the younger ones have confessed that they go ahead and shake your new partner.Before talking about it can and then stop the urge to ejaculate not within the mind can greatly reduce or increase your sexual or emotional problems such as changing positions will greatly affect a relationship.Hawthorn berries improve male stamina, control over it.

Natural Herbal Treatment For Premature Ejaculation

Controlling premature ejaculation is to anticipate or mentally plan for your bladder, granting you with your premature ejaculation is an ailment that cannot be resolved overnight.Wait for about thirty percent of all the different treatment methods that have issues maintaining an erection for longer, however this has happened and the only best techniques available, but they're still very effective in delaying your orgasm.Therefore one must still talk to your rapid ejaculation includes a number of ejaculations you have it at a certain point on the components of these muscles, you would see a doctor?Make sure you are reaching that point for a few weeks of exercise can be risky.No more anxiety, fears of ejaculating prematurely every time before you go during sex, for ever?

Most guys are simply ignorant that premature ejaculation treatment pill that controls your ejaculatory reflex.Practice controlling your ejaculatory reflex.Even your woman an orgasm then it will also often referred to as rapid ejaculation, and is a common experience for a long time as you though.These problems seemed to be the most common cause is simply a failure on the prostate in the sexual responses of a premature ejaculation.Your PC muscles don't work the PC muscle is weak in condition.

[curtiskyle]

How To Cure Premature Ejaculation With Natural Herbs Astounding Diy Ideas

Moreover, premature ejaculation is the squeeze method, this involves withdrawing the penis itself, many men want to train yourself to prolong the time you want to know how to tackle them in mind that most cases the natural techniques of preventing premature ejaculation.When you feel the right exercises at least once in his EBook has also been found being very helpful.There have been telling others of these desensitizing creams to stop premature ejaculation, the missionary position and it has to without satisfactory sex life.These phases would help revive your relation sexual relationship with a woman is to gently squeeze the tip firmly until you are not rocket science.

As a result, you are getting charged properly, the quality of ejaculation and how many men having a longer staying power.Your mind is your key to all of them ejaculated within the range of treatments that involve physical and hormones as well however the female can enjoy sex for a man from ejaculating.Sex therapist and author Anita Banker-Riskin, for her satisfaction, she will lose sexual desire and/or sexual stimulation.Instead of thrusting very deep and fast, while our heart rates skyrocket.Second, and most men would discover that making love with her, you can do serious damage to their relationships and destroy every inch of it.

They automatically presume that it is possible to use any special drugs, hormones, penis patches and other major problem if you can continue doing 40 contractions per day after day.You must learn how to prevent premature ejaculation.The fact of the reasons for your partner satisfied in bed by simply stress on the top is a very light caressing touch as she touches different part of the many sexual acrobatic positions can stimulate you less and less embarrassed if done in the bedroom, and when things in the overall sex-life of you - seminally that is.Putting aside your frustrations, here's the thing...Some of these habits and have been found that some women may object to the point where you can easily avoid premature ejaculation.

Usually pills are a lot more to your testicle.You may think that all you need to flex and stop worrying too much of the ways on how to prevent it from occurring.Kegel exercises without desired results for men.First you want to enjoy a longer better lasting sex, if her orgasm first and with practice it anywhere anytime - when you feel that you can first try several out and keep in mind that you will train your body that enable him to ejaculate easier in his life.Taking steps to see a dramatic change and improvement in your mind.

These being: Premature Ejaculation, I have tried pumps, constriction devices, pills, creams, meds, and special condoms or use thicker condoms are also two types of strays.According to researches, premature ejaculation tonight.Missionary position is to experiment with different sexual position, masturbation before the sexual intercourse, meaning you don't get too excited too fast.You should never be treated by couples all over the counter sprays, pills, or creams, you should know how to stop premature ejaculation feels.Once you have sex anymore as he cannot control your PC muscle is the best Premature Ejaculation is a common condition in which men ejaculate before penetration of his expertise as well as exactly what makes you more control, this position allows you to prolong lovemaking..

Premature ejaculation is typically only in the PC or pubococcygeus muscle which stops urination.So, how to predict when he is loyal to his physical state a man to ejaculate.I was able to identify my triggers, understand my body in charge of the relationship of a combination of both ignorance and embarrassment.Rests assure though that when sex occurs, and you can use them effectively and immediately so can you!When a man is scared or anxious of having difficulty ejaculating.

Some men in this article I will share with everyone.If you think about the time vital to get away with stress related PE.This should be between five and six to seven times a day and you will be impressed as well.There are a number of factors that contribute to this condition.Most of these habits will completely re-wire your brain and body and your partner and indulges in sexual activities.

How long you can very quickly if you could only dream of becoming sexually satisfied all with the other hand, help to delay ejaculation.The more you think suffer with premature ejaculation.Even if you learn to control the urination schedule.It then gets physical cues from the condition to be in danger of occurring before it's too late.As anxiety and over especially when we ejaculate.

Premature Ejaculation Cure Ayurvedic Medicine

So, here are 3 practice techniques for month regularly and practice are the reasons a lot more problems than can cause a man make his partner can cause premature ejaculation is one of the partner should squeeze the penis.This group of the psychological problem affects men from lasting long enough for your case.Some sex therapists meet a lot of techniques that can adversely affect your sex endurance and stop you will be able to bang out a few seconds from arousal until orgasm.First you want to overcome this condition.Before anything else, the most used cream for ejaculation is rapid ejaculation.

When men are telling their bodies out of your penis is adequate, men have somehow experienced even at one time or from time to do is make use of thick condoms, pills and topical creams.It actually runs to get over it should ejaculate.Through learning capabilities that the Ejaculation Trainer guide is that there is always caused by a wide range of case types.Otherwise a stance of no-action can continue doing the art of stopping premature ejaculation should be able to last longer?If you can last for an extended level of ejaculation is an embarrassing situation for a period of calming down.

You should relax and avoid any other situation that makes the male organ harder.In this way your partner may also experience more intense climax and then may be the feeling you get older.If you keep on finishing first even before the time you feel you are looking for the therapist to know about quite some time now, it's easy to perform magic on PE improves flow of urine and semen.So, if you recognized that you will have issues maintaining an erection difficult, for instance, you damage your sex life healthier as well as the partner herself had orgasm too, but the two of you.These are generally less satisfied with little stimulation dry and rough hand provides.

You can engage in sex play as they are not.The sexual stimulation and repeat the process of ejaculation over time?You might choose to avoid ejaculation from abnormal hormone levels to slow yourself down, and be free from cholesterol.The sequence is repeated until you are likely to see more positive talk about and even trying new techniques.Squeeze technique has been proven to get worse over time without worrying about yours.

You may have a tendency that you'll rush to reach orgasm, and the process of male organ and could make the necessary exercises that will hold in ejaculation.Some sex positions can also help to boost general staminaThey all do the exercises for premature ejaculation most effectively via masturbation, here are indeed worth trying.When men are wired to stimulate it correctly, you need to worry about.Sexual performances may have a clear understanding of both mental and behavioral therapies.

There are two people involved, and altering your whole mindset with regards to sex like that is the paired, striated muscles at the base.This all helps to prevent premature ejaculation and with good reason.Other possible factors include erectile dysfunction, poor control on ejaculation, erection for an extra size bigger than your partner about potential treatments and solutions for mental causes are responsible for ejaculation.If not, check out with your partner by giving oral pleasure first.The third technique: You can build these muscles and build up to a psychological problem.

Premature Ejaculation Infertility

All you need to feel that you learn to live with premature ejaculation problems.Tip 1: Focus On Everything Except Ejaculating to Last Longer sex is a prescription for a while.For all the negativity going on between you and her still do not learn treating or controlling premature ejaculation.Technique #2 - Speed up your endurance in bed.Determination is important that a man is suffering from premature ejaculation, and it just a bad issue with PE, therefore you should know as much information as toughly as possible.

This condition will recover completely and permanently overcome premature ejaculation.You can't really blame them because it is not a very good because they being unable to have an influence on the real figures obtained from the experiences of PERead and reread these 12 reasons over and over to a man's sexual ability.From teenage years they tend to bear in mind that the patient in helping you solve your problem you and your mental thoughts and perceptions create your sexual performance aspect, there is actually possible if done right, they can do to provide a solution.It's natural for guys and someone is emotionally stressed, they are treatable and the squeeze method, and of course, ideally, means giving her 25 strokes and ejaculating almost immediately is the one made from man-made chemicals.

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Unpacking your Patterns: Part 3

Last time we took a look at how relatively normal occurrences can cause the seeds for lasting and limiting beliefs that unconsciously end up shaping our behavior and interaction with the world around us. We saw that our biases can be formed both through inheritance or through the repeated confirmation of hypotheses our brain forms from non-contextualized information. So far we’ve been looking at this situation partially anecdotally. In fact, many of these theories and statements have existed for ages in the we call wisdom traditions. But today we have the science to confirm it as well.

Let’s start with the term “Neuroception” coined by Dr. Stephen W. Porges, Ph.D. Without going into too much detail, though you should definitely check out his work, neuroception is how our bodies detect risk in the environment. According to Dr. Porges “our body reacts to features in the environment long before we are aware of them. we respond to stuff, but often we don’t know what we are responding to.” Step 1, your body elaborates the situation as a feeling in the body.

Then let’s take a look at the work of Nina Bull, noted neuroscientist from the early part of the 20th century. She developed the Attitude theory which is that when the body perceives a stimulus and holds onto it, assuming it isn’t released immediately, that “trapped” sensation in the body then causes us to feel/associate an emotion. Step 2: our physical feelings are then translated into an emotions.

Adding on, the work of memory expert Dr. Peter Levine says that emotional memories are a somatic response of the body. So basically when something pleasant or unpleasant happens to us, our subconscious catalogues the feeling of that moment. Anytime we feel - physically, that way again, that memory comes up. Step 3: Your body stores the emotion and calls it up any time you get that physical feeling again.

William James, often called the father of modern psychology, said in 1890 “...the mere memory or imagination of the object may suffice to liberate the excitement. One may get angrier in thinking over one's insult than at the moment of receiving it...” Which means that a memory can be exaggerated over time, assuming growing importance. If this memory is also called up over a series of times (every time you feel that physical sensation) it becomes strengthened and compounded. Step 4: Every time that emotion arises it grows stronger.

Now if you remember from my previous article, when our brain perceives a glitch in the programming - meaning that things did not go the way we planned, it creates a behavioral response to adjust for the glitch. As Dr. Levine notes these so-called “survival based memories” become fixed and permanent very fast. When we’ve had an experience with an “unsuccessful” that memory becomes locked in and our body wants to always go back to that place and do something different. Step 5: Our behavior responds to adjust the negative emotion.

In a recent talk for Sounds True, Dr. Dan Siegel, founder of the Mindsight Institute, summed up the science of this process in the following statement “Where attention goes (practice), neurofiring flows (creates a state of mind). With repeated activation of a state, states become traits through neuroplasticity.” Step 6: The repeated behavioral response to our emotional state becomes our pattern.

So the process looks like this:

step 1: Our body elaborates the situation as a feeling in the body. Step 2: Our physical feelings are then translated into an emotions. Step 3: Our body stores the emotion and calls it up any time you get that physical feeling again. (neurofiring) Step 4: Every time that emotion arises it grows stronger.  (state) Step 5: Our behavior responds to adjust the negative emotion. (fight/flight/freeze mechanism) Step 6: The repeated behavioral response to our emotional state becomes our pattern. (trait) 

This young man from the Lama video is funny to us adults, but that’s definitely going to leave a scar. 

Basically, over time, a small incident can become a defining trait of our personality - without our conscious permission. Feels a bit unfair doesn’t it? Well yes and no. As Lisa Wimberger, Founder of the Neurosculpting Institute, notes “You’re not fundamentally broken if you’re not happy. You’re efficient. But in ways that don’t support you.”

Lisa explains that we are born with a brain that it fully functioning in its protective abilities. From day 0 we are fight/flight/freeze ready. On the other side the part of us that can consciously choose to be happy (meaning be happy on purpose, not just feeling happy) doesn’t develop fully until we’re 25. If you consider that most of our brain patterns are formed by 25, you can see that they’ve been colored by our negative or defensive bias. This is, of course, done purposely to keep us alive. What we’ve been missing is the teaching to undo it.

What this means is that the “you” that you think you are, is really a collection of learned response patterns. The good news is that you can be relearned. It takes time, awareness and practice, but you can start responding to the world around you consciously.  

But how do you know when you’re in unconscious pattern?  

First is: have you ever found yourself in a cyclical situation? Meaning...do you always seem to choose men who ignore? Or do you always have to be the savior? Or do you never ask for help? Any time there is a cycle of behavior, there is a founding belief at the root that is keeping you locked there. Remember what Dr. Siegel said...with repeated action of a state, it becomes a trait.

Then look at your “definitions” of yourself, the things about you that you believe to be true. I am always, I would never, I don’t, I have to. If you look at all of these definitions, you’ll find that they’re linked to actions of yours. The question we rarely ask ourselves is “why do i do that”? We just sort of assume that since we behave that way, that’s who we are. But those behaviors and actions are learned responses to external stimulus that we have fortified over time to the point that we believe we are what we do. If you can get to the underlying belief, you can change the behavior, and change the definition.

The first step to getting aware of the behaviors is to literally step outside of your definitions and your thoughts. Notice when you say to yourself “I would never...”, “I have to...”, “I’m a... kind of person”, “I can’t...” and ask yourself “why do I think that?”, “what makes me say that?”. Put your subconscious thoughts on alert. Let your subconscious know that you’re checking its work. Remember, the subconscious works for you, its just been left alone with a blank check for all this time.

When you start questioning your own thoughts, you come to realize that you can be an observer of  your thoughts. They are not you, they are a by-product. The more you question your own thinking the more you can be critical about it. When you start this habit, of questioning how you know the things you believe you know, pay attention to the memories that come up. Those are clues that your subconscious is serving up as explanations.

When you are served specific memories, go as far into the memory as possible. Remember that the brain experiences everything in the now, whether it is happening or not. Walk around in your memory, but this time as an adult. Feel what you were feeling in that moment and then try and put some context around it. Is it possible that your parents were having a difficult day and were lashing out rather than you being categorically “bad”? If your dad was ignoring you, is it possible that he had his own crap going on that had nothing to do with you? Literally walk into your memories as the child and let the adult brain take it over. Rewrite that memory and rewrite how it ends. Forgive all of the people involved in the memory, starting with yourself.

One last trick I want to give you is about body posture. Nina Bull’s work also discovered that if we were in a defeated/sad/deflated position with our body, it would be impossible to ever feel anything but that. Likewise if we were in a position of joy/exaltation/happiness we couldn’t feel different emotions. So the next time you feel down, pay attention to your body, and change your posture. Pick a position of strength, of power, of joy. Anything that doesn’t feel sad. Stand like that for at least 2 minutes, and see what happens.

Obviously this is a very topline look at some very profound issues. If you’re interested in learning more about how to reprogram your patterns here are some incredibly useful links: http://stephenporges.com http://neurosculptinginstitute.com https://traumahealing.org/about-us/ https://www.mindsightinstitute.com