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stayarmytinyzenmoa-l · 4 years ago

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TW: Ouija Board Use, Disturbing Topics, Ghost Mentions, Possession Mention, Talks about the Sixth Sense, Blood Mention, Suicide Mention

**Don’t read this if you’re easily scared**

There’s this thing that I just can’t get out of my head.

I figured that if I shared it maybe the nagging thought would leave me alone, so I’m writing this here to account it with that hope.

Last night I was watching a horror movie with my sister and her girlfriend and it just reminded me of someone that I knew back when I first started Uni.

But first full disclaimer here, I was never really close to this person, we had just met in my English class because we sat next to each other and had a couple of group work assignments together, but that was it. I’ll only talk about my experiences while I was with this girl, we’ll call her B for the sake of this recounting. And yes, this actually happened, but as you should with anything you read off of the internet, take it with a grain of salt because even I don’t know if I’m recounting everything perfectly, it happened a couple of years ago now and I’m trying to remember them as I write this.

I’m a very superstitious person, also. I totally buy into that bad luck stuff about ladders and mirrors, but my belief stems from I simply don’t want to try it if it ends up being true. That and from my Filipino descent I have many relatives who are superstitious also, not to mention the sixth sense runs in both sides of my family and is floating around somewhere in my generation so I don’t want to suddenly awaken that shit, no way (I’ll include a bit explaining that at the end of this post if you’re curious). Hell, I’m so superstitious that I won’t watch certain movies that deal with summoning entities just in case, or at least, I won’t watch them at home. But onto the story.

Anyway, the movie we were watching mentioned a Ouija board once or twice, which is what reminded me of my classmate, and it just sent chills down my spine and I’m still thinking about this even now because, my god, I am certain that she was possessed by something.

If you don’t know what a Ouija board it, let me crash course you. Essentially it is a tool to communicate with otherworldly creatures. Its a board with letters, numbers, and a yes/no option, and you hold on to the planchet (which is a huge triangle with a magnifying glass in the middle) and theoretically the spirit you contact will move it around to respond to your inquiries. However, this is not always the case, the board serves as a portal, and it is very rare that the entity you are trying to contact is actually the one interacting with you, and such it is considered a profane object. Once you bring it into your home alone you open your home to immense amounts of negative energy and it is now somewhat of an area of thin protection in which otherworldly entities can walk in and out of.

Basically, don’t fuck with them.

Now B is a huge occult fan, she loves the stuff, has read books on it and everything but, go figure, she’s a religious studies major and she wanted to specify in more occult practices, and with that you’d think she’d know never to dabble in those things, but I think her choice of major stemmed from a different kind of fascination in it. I think her thing was that she wanted to see if this occult stuff was real, I think she was a true skeptic and she just got a kick out of playing dangerous games and inviting dangerous creatures. I remember being appalled when she recounted her experience playing the dangerous game known as the [Midnight Game], which still gives me nightmares to this day. Either way, it would be an understatement for me to say that I wasn’t worried about her.

One day around week 8 of the quarter, meaning we were finishing up the quarter and starting to study for finals, while we were working together in class, she brought up to me and the other two group members (C and D for simplicity and anonymity) that she recently purchased a ouija board. And I immediately voiced my concern.

“You’ve already fucked with spirits before in the Midnight Game and [Dry Bones], are you trying to piss them off even more?” I was genuinely worried about her.

“Come on, Crys, they’re not real.” She insisted that towards me, but me and C made eye contact, both of us being Filipino and highly superstitious, we warned her again to give it back to where she got it from but she refused.

“What are you going to talk to anyway, B?” D asks her.

“Dunno, maybe I’ll talk to my granddad.”

“Or you could open your apartment to a poltergeist who will possess you and kill you slowly,” I said with a half joking tone, or at least that’s how I intended it to be.

“If you’re going to be so uptight about it then ignore me, Crys. It’s just a game,” she scoffs.

“Sure, yeah, I just think it’s smarter not to try anything. You’re already walking around with a target on your back because of the other games you’ve played, I’m just worried that something bad will happen to you this time. They come in threes, B,” I continued on. I didn’t know if it was fear for her or for me.

Needless to say she didn’t show up the next class. Me, C, and D just brushed this off as maybe she decided to skip class, which she had done many times before, and didn’t think much more of it. Of course I was still worried, I had a feeling that it had something to do with the board, but she looked really pissed when I brought it up to her so I didn’t want to overstep more than I already did.

But when she didn’t show up for the next week’s worth of classes, that’s when we really got concerned. We asked my professor about it just in case she just dropped the class and didn’t tell us, but no, she was still on the roster. So we decided to pay her a visit and make sure everything was alright.

Now we knew where she lived, it was an off campus apartment a couple of blocks away from school so it was an easy walk, and we had been there a handful of times already for group work. It was a relatively new apartment she had moved into before school started and, to our knowledge, she hadn’t tried anything there yet up until the board. But when I stood outside of her door, something just felt off. The air felt still, and something just wasn’t right. I knocked on the door and nothing. No shuffling, no movement, we thought she wasn’t home. But right when we turned to leave, the door opened.

Now B looked horrible. Her cheeks were sunken in and the bags under her eyes were more than just concerning.

“Hey, are you okay?” D asks her.

“I just have the flu,” B responds. Her voice was hoarse.

Now here is where I am conflicted. As you all know, I’m a premed student, and as you now know I am superstitious to a fault. My rational side says “ah, I get it now” but my superstitious one told me to call a priest. Like yes, the flu can do this to you, but it’s been a week.

Either way we’re backing away from the door. She opens it wider, as if to let us in, and when I tell you the apartment looked unrecognizable, I mean it. It looked nearly unlivable actually. I swear there was probably something alive hiding under the piles of pizza boxes and clothes. And this really concerned us because we knew B to be a very clean person, she always was throughout the quarter and would even reprimand C for being so messy himself, so the change was very jarring for us.

“You can come in if you want,” she says. “I haven’t been upholding my end of the group project.”

“No, it’s fine,” I declined for the group.

“I insist.”

“You have the flu, we could catch it.”

“You won’t, I know you’re all careful,” she says. Keep in mind, C and I are premed and D is accounting.

“We just wanted to check in on you,” D steps in now, seeing that I’m uncomfortable.

“Then why did you come all the way here and bother me?” She snapped. We were taken aback and she just shook her head. “Forget it, I’ll be fine by the presentation date. Just email me what I have to do.” Then she closed the door and was gone.

She never came back to class, and I learned later from another person in our class, who I’m assuming she was close with, that she dropped out of uni altogether. She never really told us either, so we had to rush to finish her part of the project, which was horrific, but that’s besides the point.

It’s just... this superstitious nature of mine typically gets in the way of a lot of things I choose to do. It’s always the first thing I put into consideration. And it’s a bit strange considering how... bad of a Catholic I am. Either way it’s just terrifying. Maybe I’m just more hyper aware of it because of how “close” I am to otherworldly things. I have cousins who’ve played games like [The Hosting Game] or [Lady Spades]. So I can sometimes feel things when they’re not right, then of course there’s the whole sixth sense running in both sides of my family thing so there’s that too. I don’t know, the whole thing just rubbed me wrong and still does to this day. I guess I’m more afraid of these negative energies reflecting back on me somehow, who knows?

I don’t know, maybe this was just me vastly overthinking things, maybe I’m just being paranoid, but something just didn’t sit right with me with that last exchange we had, who knows? The movie I watched last night just reminded me of her so much and I started getting worried again, I just hope she’s alright.

As for the promised bit about the sixth sense running in my family, here’s an abridged version from what I’ve learned:

On my mother’s side, it skips generations (therefore it is in my generation). The most notable one with this sense currently is my Uncle, who can see the auras of spirits (white for passive ones, red for aggressive ones, etc.) he’s helped other family members and extended members for many things involving these. There’s a certain term for him, actually, in the Philippines that is. He’s definitely not a shaman, no way, but the term escapes me for now. But it stemmed far back in our family’s lineage when we did have shamans and albularyos (witch doctors), if you looked up my mother’s maiden name in the Philippines you’ll even find an extensive history behind them (Obviously I won’t share that, but they were a very prominent Clan throughout the Philippines and still are in some islands). They have a history of communicating with enkantos (which are environmental spirits), the strongest one in our family to date being my great-great grandfather. I also have a cousin who sees spirits as they died, like if they happened to jump off of a tall building (and I’ll spare you the details because the aftermath is bloody) he will see them like that, it was so bad that he even went to the best therapists in the UK to treat it, but something like that isn’t exactly... treatable. So there’s that.

On my father’s side it’s a bit more muddled. We don’t understand the pattern it’s in, we just know that some people have it and most don’t. And if anything, it’s more of a curse. In every generation there has been someone who’s literally gotten possessed (one of my aunt’s did in the Philippines, she got possessed by a duwende I think? I’ll have to ask again). Haven’t had a possession yet in my generation (and no that’s not an invitation), but we’ve had hauntings many a time that my previously mentioned uncle helped us out with. There’s also a spirit who appears to every male who carries the name, and apparently when she is seen said male should not travel anywhere, some cases being my grandfather’s usual transit bus which drove off a cliff, my dad’s brother’s motorcycle combusting, etc. Whatever is going on in my dad’s side likely got passed down to me so I’m being extra careful.

TL;DR: I’m very superstitious because of the shit that has happened on both sides of my family and that probably fed into my fear for B.

Anyway, if you guys want scary stories, trust me, I’ve got scary stories.

#crys talks #personal

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elisemarie10 · 4 years ago

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My Story

*Trigger Warning* Vomiting, Suicidal Ideation

For the last 20 years, I’ve been dealing with emetophobia. Which is the fear of vomiting. Well, if I’m being completely honest, I didn’t know exactly what I was dealing with until 2017. Growing up, I was told that I had GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) and saw different kinds of doctors that tried treating me for GAD, without actually treating me. What I mean by that is, because one doctor diagnosed me with it every other doctor just assumed the previous doctor was correct and treated me as such. I was an extremely anxious child, which turned into an extremely anxious teenager. School seemed unbearable, because I was “anxious”. Most of my days in middle school I spent in either the nurse’s or counselor’s office. I remember wanting to end my life because of my intense fear of vomiting was making life not worth living. It sounds very dramatic, but to me, it was the worst thing that could happen. Death seemed like a better option than vomiting.

Then came high school, where I thought I started to handle this anxiety better. I took the medicine doctors prescribed and went to all of my psych appointments. I ended up doing pretty well in high school. But I was still pretty anxious and depressed. Yet, I graduated and started college. I thought I was doing pretty well, seeing as I was able to live on campus and seemed to be living like a true college student. Life appeared to be moving on. I should mention, that I have yet to throw up since 2001 at this point.

January 21, 2017 - I ate a cheeseburger from Burger King, and ended up throwing up from possible food poisoning. This was so horrific to me. That night, I called my employer at the time, and quit. I essentially hit ground zero. I wasn’t expecting to get better and thought that this was it, this was going to make me give up trying to move forward in life because I was unable to. I didn’t leave the house, had trouble eating, and was basically rotting away. My mom was beside herself on how to help me and told me that if I wouldn’t get a job, I wouldn’t be able to live with her anymore. (My mom is an angel, she was giving me tough love because she believed in me even though at the time, that’s not what I felt). So, with this I realized I needed better help. I googled doctors in the area who treated anxiety patients. I found one that seemed good and was close, set up an appointment and this is where my life changed.

This psychologist listened to what I had to say and about my previous psychologists and their diagnoses. After listening, he tells me that I have OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). I didn’t believe him, I was so confused because I was stereotyping OCD as having things to be in order with precision. And I knew that wasn’t me. He elaborated on what OCD truly is, lo and behold, I fit that diagnosis like a glove. OCD is way more than what television appeared it to be. So, I started getting treated for OCD and emetophobia. Hey! There’s that funny word again. Yes, this psychologist also diagnosed me with emetophobia, not GAD. Anxiety, OCD and emetophobia are essentially a package deal for me. Can’t treat one without treating the other. At this point, I still don’t have a job and only seeing the psychologist once a week, I wasn’t seeing the progress that I was hoping for (which in all honesty was not realistic). One day, my psychologist brought up Partial Hospitalization to treat this OCD package. I initially said “fuck no”. But two weeks later, I gave in and was put on a waitlist for Partial Hospitalization to treat OCD.

I was in Partial for 10 weeks. The treatment there seemed to be working. I went there Monday thru Friday 8:30am - 3:00pm. This is where I learned about Exposure Repsonse Prevention (ERP). I had to do exposures involving vomit in some way shape or form. During the 10 weeks, the more I was progressing, the better my life outside of there was getting. By the time I was discharged, I had a new job waiting for me at a bank. I seemed to be doing pretty well, seeing as I got promoted 8 months into the new job. And then, I relapsed. October 2019, I was back in Partial. This time around, I hit my lowest point. It was harder than the first time and I added a new diagnosis to my chart; Panic Disorder. All of these diagnoses and treatments and I felt myself giving up because I was getting worse. Somehow I pushed through and started to see a sliver of a light at the end of the tunnel. I worked my ass off in the program and was able to return to work 14 weeks later.

It’s been 1 year since my last day of partial. I am constantly trying to push myself every day to keep moving forward. I have worked too hard and have spent way too much time (and money) into living a “regular” lifestyle. Who knows what life has in store? But I am determined to do something special with this life that I have. I don’t have much, but I have ears to listen. I have the hard days that come with the good days. There is more of a purpose of my life than just being afraid of vomiting. I know that my purpose is to help others, in any way that is plausible. I am always open to hear your story. I am here to listen to you on your good days and bad days. I am here to be your cheerleader, shoulder to cry on, audience when you want to joke.

I. Am. Here.

My story is not bigger than your story. If you or someone you love is having a hard time trying to keep your stories going, know that I am here and ready to listen.

#mental heath support #anxious #listen #mental health #ocd

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evil-ice-princess · 5 years ago

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Breathe Me In

♡ Pairing: Jungkook x Main Character (unnamed)

♡ Description: You attend a party in Beverly Hills where you reunite with your enemy, Jungkook.

♡ Genre: Romance

♡ Warning: Descriptions of hella making out (lol), implied sex, underage drinking, cursing ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

♡ Word count: 5419

You were the good girl. Friday nights consisted of doing AP homework instead of getting drunk with your friends. Your grades were stellar. You held numerous leadership positions, and you were on the varsity tennis team. Any of the Ivies would drop on their knees to accept you. Of course, you weren’t thinking about school all the time. God, it would be social suicide to be a nerd. Those kids…were weird. You lived in Beverly Hills after all. Shopping at Louis Vuitton with your girlfriends. Eating at Nobu and Katsuya every other week. It was the norm. You had even had your fair share of hooking up with a few boys, but most of them sucked. You would think the boys at Harvard Westlake would be pretty decent, but your experiences proved otherwise. They would kiss you, and the next second wanted you to be their girlfriend. You just wanted the pleasure, you didn’t need all the boyfriend shit. And honestly their kissing wasn’t stellar either. But, all that changed on the first night of summer.

♡~♡~♡

“You coming to Jungkook’s party tonight?” Adrianna asks me as she begins to reapply her vibrant red lipstick. I look up from my AP U.S. History textbook, bewildered.

“You know my parents would kill me,” I reply. “And Jungkook Jeon? What an ass.”

“It’s the first day of summer! What the hell do you even have to study tonight?!” Naomi exclaims, continuing to text her boyfriend, Ethan, on her phone. “And Jungkook? Damn, if I didn’t have Ethan, I would sooo hook up with him.” She looks up from her phone glancing at her girl friends. “You so did not hear me say that,” she quickly says and then looks back down at her phone. Everyone laughs, including me.

“I don’t know…I mean I would go, but my parents…” I trail off. “I’ll ask I guess,” I mumble. The girls cheer, and I smile. I mean…it’s the first day of summer. Would my parents really make me stay in?

♡~♡~♡

“Absolutely not!” my father exclaims, incredulously.

“Why not?” I ask. “It’s Jungkook’s party. You like him, don’t you?” I reply. His parents are super close friends with my parents, but whenever Jungkook would come over I would just lock myself in my room saying I had way too much homework to do.

“Yes, but --”

“Soooo, you can trust me not to do anything bad. Jungkook’s sooo nice, too. Please, it’s the first day of summer,” I beg.

“No. You have to start writing college admissions essays, don’t you?” “I have five months, Dad! Please!”

“If your father says no, then the answer is no,” my mother replies. I bite my lip from uttering something that I would regret. God, they sicken me. I do every damn thing they want, yet they won’t let me do one little thing. “Fine. Can I at least go to the library to write the essays? Mom, you can even drop me off,” I ask, a plan forming in my head.

She looks at my dad, but he just scowls and walks away. Typical. “Fine, but I’ll pick you up at 11:30 PM.”

“Thank you,” I reply. I walk to my room and immediately enter my walk-in closet. What to wear, what to wear? I pull open a drawer and look through the vast collection of lingerie I had secretly bought with my friends. I decide to wear a beautiful strapless black lace bra with matching underwear. Why not? I think. It’s not every damn day I dress up. I throw on a navy blue crewneck I had bought during a college campus visit at Columbia and put some leggings on. I then go through all my dresses and pick a strappy lace-y black romper. Searching through my shoes I finally find my dazzling black Gucci heels adorned with diamonds and grab a silver necklace with a single pearl. It was a gift Jungkook’s parents had actually given me for my sixteenth birthday, and it happened to be my favorite necklace. I hook the necklace around my neck and hide it beneath my sweater. I put the romper and heels at the bottom of my backpack and fill a small makeup bag with the essentials I need. I am going to that damn party.

I text Adrianna quickly: Ade, pick me up from the library at 6 please?

Adrianna: sure whatever ly ❤

I smirk to myself as I walk out of my room. I look plain. No makeup on my face. Hair in a messy bun. Leggings and a crewneck sweatshirt. No one would suspect I was planning to go to the hottest party of the summer. It is 4:30. I had a lot of time to kill at the library. “Mother! I’m ready!” I call, annoyed.

Moments later, I am in my mother’s Porsche, and she silently drives me to the Beverly Hills Public Library. It was a fifteen minute drive, and I wave goodbye to her as soon as she pulls up in front of the library. At that moment, I feel the slightest bit of guilt. I tried to not break the rules too often, but this party…it was calling me. AP Exams were done. I know I got all 5s. All my SATs and Subject Tests were done. 1500+ of course. All my finals went well. I deserve this party. “Hey mom? I love you,” I say, and that makes me feel a little bit better for my lying. She gives a soft smile. I turn away walking towards the library before it becomes a sappy moment.

I open my laptop and go to Netflix to turn on my favorite TV show at the moment, Beverly Hills, 90210. I immerse myself within the characters’ drama, and as I watch Kelly kiss another boy, I somehow wish my life is as interesting as theirs. Naomi has her boyfriend, Ethan. Adrianna, a growing actress, gets to be practically anyone else she wanted with all the roles she is receiving. Silver is constantly making films and blogging. Even Annie’s, the principal’s daughter, life seems more interesting than mine. I sit there sulking at this fact while watching the show for a while when a text pops up.

Jimin: u comin to the party 2nite

I sit up suddenly interested. Jimin has no reason to text me…unless maybe he wanted to…do some things. I quickly type back a yes.

Jimin: cant wait ;)

I ponder over his texts. He is the typical fuckboy material. Hooking up with girls and leaving them when they least expect it. Do I want that? Whatever, it doesn’t matter. But I think back to the time we had made out at his beach house a few summers ago…he wasn’t as bad as the rest of the boys either when it came to all that. Maybe he could be the perfect summer fling, and when school started we could break it off. Being alone is good enough for me. Adrianna finally arrives at the library at 6:13 PM, and I jump into the passenger seat as she begins to drive home.

“Damn, that outfit is definitely going to impress the boys,” she says, looking at my lazy outfit.

“Yep, this bitch is definitely getting it tonight.” I point at myself making a weird face. We laugh, and it feels good. Good to be away from my parents. From school.

Soon we are in her house, and within fifteen minutes our friends are all here. Annie and Silver lie on Adrianna’s bed gossipping while Naomi applies makeup. Adrianna straightens her hair, and I strip myself of my boring clothes. She glances at me and a devilish smile appears on her face. “Now that’s going to impress some boys,” she says, admiring my lingerie set.

“Thanks,” I say while putting on the romper. It hugs me in all the right places. Just the right amount of cleavage and legs. I turn around in the mirror, realizing people would be able to see my bra. Dammit, I forgot this was a backless romper.

“Oh, honey, you should definitely take the bra off.” Naomi says. I expertly unclasp the bra and throw it at her. “Hey!” she squeals. What seems like just seconds is a couple of hours. By the time we are all done gossipping, giggling, and getting ready it is 10 PM. I walk out of the bathroom and twirl around for the girls.

“What do you think?” I ask, winking.

“Hot, hot, hot,” Silver exclaims. Along with the low-cut black romper I paired it with the sparkling Gucci heels and pearl necklace. I kept my makeup to a minimal. A bit of foundation. A little blush. Some mascara and eyeliner. My lips painted with a glittery gloss. My perfectly curled hair is pulled back into a high ponytail, and overall, I portray the typical rich Beverly Hills girl.

Because Jungkook’s house is just a few houses down from Adrianna’s, we walk to the big mansion. My eyes widen as I absorb the beauty of his house. God, he really has it all. He has it all except for a nice personality.

We enter the home, and everyone separates to different aspects of the party. Naomi to Ethan. Silver and Annie towards the food. And Adrianna towards the party games. So that leaves me. Alone. At a party. A waiter passes by, holding a few different cocktails, and I take a pink-colored one. I want to explore every inch of this grand palace. Jungkook is lucky. He is lucky as hell. Something told me I would be coming back to his house, so I know I will have a lot of other opportunities to see his mansion. I decide to go out to the backyard. This was not a typical backyard though with some uneven grass and a little pool. This is Beverly Hills after all. An infinity pool is placed on the edge, looking out towards the sparkling lights of Los Angeles. Downtown is clearly in view. People are swimming in the pool and seem content. There are a few outdoor couches spread out, and a little mini bar station serving a plethora of alcoholic drinks and sophisticated appetizers.

I spot Jimin with Jungkook, who happen to be best friends, and his eye catches mine. His lips begin to smile, and I can see his eyes rake over my body. I remember how he did that last time; my cheeks grow warm, and I head back inside. Jungkook does not turn around to see what his friend is staring so intently at.

Practically every room is filled with people. In such a big home, I expected there would be an empty room, but no. After ten minutes of searching, I am finally able to find an isolated living room. A half empty bottle of champagne sits on the glass table, and I pour myself the remnants into my glass. Maybe I was bored, or maybe I unconsciously wanted to get drunk, either way, I just could not stop drinking. I fish my iPhone out of my pocket and see a few text messages from my parents asking how my essays are coming along. Fuck them. A bunch of snapchat notifications are on my phone, and I see Jimin had sent me one. Seven minutes ago. It is a blurry selfie of himself, and he had captioned it “where r u”. I don’t reply.

Suddenly, a voice says, “So, she finally decided to show up,” My head whips around, and I see Jungkook standing there looking down at me, an empty champagne glass in his right hand, and another bottle in the other. He sports a classic dark suit, and he has a single black stud in his ear. Typical bad boy look. “What are you doing all alone?” he teases, as he takes a seat right next to me on the plush couch. I don’t say anything. The side of his body presses against mine, and I tense up. “I was looking for you.” he says, and I look at him, a mixture of disgust and curiosity on my face.

“Go away, Jungkook,” I say, turning away from him. I did not want to see his face. I hate him.

“C’mon. You don’t talk to me anymore, and I don’t even know why.”

“You know exactly why,” I snap, and I turn to look at him. I am unable to read his expression.

“I don’t know,” he protests, and he pours a glass of champagne for himself. He tips the bottle towards me, and I hold out my glass to have him fill it up.

“Why does it matter anyway?” I ask.

“Because every time I go to your house you shut me out. I’m stuck sitting with your and my parents listening to them talk about whatever shit they always talk about. You just did it for no reason, and all I want to know is why.”

“Dammit, Jungkook. You slept with one of my best friends after telling me you loved me. Gee, I definitely don’t have ANY reason to be mad at you right?”

He looks hurt, but he knows it is true. “You didn’t say anything to me! You just looked at me and left! I…I didn’t know what to do. Did you think I would just wait for you forever?”

“I liked you, and you couldn’t even wait. I had to think things through!” My words are faltering. Why did I reject him? I was probably scared. Scared to get into a relationship. Scared of the emotional attachment that comes with dating. “It doesn’t matter anymore. Clearly, we have different people in our lives anyway.” I justify, thinking about how Jimin had smiled at me earlier. And I know Jungkook probably has someone else too. I shift my body towards him, and his gaze makes me want him. I want him even though I despise him. The tension between us heightens as we both look at each other. I avert my eyes away from him and quickly change the topic. “So. What’s the point of throwing these big parties anyway?” I ask, taking a sip of the champagne.

“To let go. To feel less alone,” he curtly replies, downing his glass of champagne and pouring another. How many glasses had he already drank? He pushes his hair back and exhales. “What about you?”

“Same reason, I guess.”

“How are your parents doing…?” he asks tentatively.

“They’re pretending as if nothing is wrong. He fucking cheated on her, and she doesn’t do anything.” I don’t know why I’m telling him about my personal problems, but it’s not like any of my friends would listen. We had to portray ourselves as perfect girls who did not have any worries. We were supposed to be who everyone looked up to. It feels invigorating telling him my problems.

He sighs. “I’m sorry,” I can tell he means it. Maybe he is different from every other rich Californian boy here. So maybe he screwed up once…but he still seemed like the sweet boy I knew. “Obviously, you can tell from all this that my parents still don’t give a shit about what the hell I do,” he mutters taking another swig of the champagne.

“Can’t be that bad to have parents who don’t care, can it?”

“Well, think about it this way. If my parents actually cared, do you think I would throw these parties? Would I be hooking up with girls in hopes to have them stop me? God, you would think me having done drugs a few times would have made them notice.”

I sit up, having never thought about it that way.

“Is it some sort of requirement for the rich kids to have shitty parents?”

He scoffs. “Guess so.”

We sit in silence for a heartbeat, leaning into each other both of us afraid to do or say anything.

“I miss you.” he says suddenly. I know he is thinking about the times we had laughed in the basement of his beach house while watching movies. The times he would help me with my math homework. They were good memories, but that didn’t change anything now. I shift away.

“Jungkook, just stop. Nothing changes between us just because we both have shitty parents. It can’t take away what you did to me.”

“What was I supposed to do? I waited for you, and you made it pretty clear you didn’t feel the same way.”

“You didn’t give me enough time -– you know what, we’re not talking about this again. I’m done.” I stand up to leave. “I thought you were different, but you’re just as bad as every other boy here.”

“I thought you were different too, but you’re here drinking champagne on my couch, so obviously you aren’t who I thought you were either.” He pauses, taking another sip of his champagne. He smirks up at me. “You’re exactly like me.”

My jaw drops. “Fuck you, Jungkook. I’m nothing like you.”

As I walk away, I hear him faintly say, “Wait…” I ignore him and storm away. Hoping to find my friends, I climb up the flight of stairs angrily, when I bump into none other than Jimin. The perfect distraction. “Hey,” I coolly initiate.

He smiles. “Hi.”

“Soo…where were you heading?” I ask. A couple scooches past us to go down the stairs.

“Oh, y’know. I was going to see where Jungkook was, but, I suppose that could wait.”

I smile feeling satisfaction. He is exactly what I need. A distraction.

We climb up the rest of the stairs together, and when we reach the main floor I spot a pool table. Adrianna and Carter, an attractive brown-haired boy, are playing, and I lead Jimin over. “Wanna play in teams?” I ask, and they agree. Adrianna eyes Jimin and mouths ‘nice.’ I mouth back ‘same to you.’ We all play for awhile, and I completely forget about the argument I had with Jungkook. Jimin’s hand is on my waist as he guides me on how to properly hit the ball.

Soon, more people arrive at the table, and Jimin whispers in my ear, “Let’s get out of here.” I oblige, and he leads me to a gorgeous room. The walls are painted a beautiful black and the ceiling a light grey color. From the ceiling hangs a small black chandelier. A plush black carpet is placed on top of the dark wooden floor. The bed is pushed up against the wall, a white silk bedspread on top of it along with a few burgundy and black throw pillows. It is absolutely insane how beautiful the bedroom is. I take a guess that this must be Jungkook’s parents’ bedroom. And I do not give a shit that we were about to ruin it. Jimin pulls me onto the bed, and his lips brush against mine. We both sit there for a while, kissing slowly.

As his kissing gets more intense, Jimin slowly begins to push me into a lying position on the bed, when suddenly the door bursts open. Thinking it is one of my friends or some drunk guy, I continue to kiss Jimin hoping the person will realize the room is clearly occupied and will leave.

“What the actual fucking hell,” a voice hisses. Jimin pulls away, and we both sit up. Jungkook’s eyes are fixed on me. Jimin looks like he couldn’t give less of a shit.

Jimin stands up, clearing his throat. “Sorry bro. I thought you wouldn’t mind me using your room. Clearly not,” he remarks. His voice indicates no empathy. No shame. I realize I should have known this was Jungkook’s room. Who else would want a completely black room? I bite my lip from laughing at Jimin’s comment. Jungkook deserves to be hurt. Without any more words being said, Jungkook forces a smile, indicating Jimin should leave. He figures and begins walking out the door when he questioningly looks back at me still sitting on the bed.

“I’ll be out in a few…” I say. He nods.

I wanted to oh-so-badly make a few witty remarks. Make him hurt more than he already is. The second Jimin leaves the room, Jungkook closes the door quietly and locks it.

“Are you fucking serious? Jimin Park?” Jungkook exclaims.

“Just call it getting even,” I retort. His eyes are set ablaze by anger. His hand clenching into a fist. Although I don’t want to admit it, it’s hot. Hot as hell to see him getting angry. Getting jealous.

“With Jimin? That’s some serious class you got there,” he replies. I stop smiling.

“Are you saying you have class? Because damn, that’s clearly shown when you fucked my best friend.” I stand up from his bed, and heels clicking on the wooden floor, I brush past him, but he grabs my wrist, holding it tightly.

He steps closer until his body is right behind mine. “I am not like every other boy here,” he breathes into my ear, and I close my eyes, my mind begging to taste his lips. Leave him. Go find Jimin. Now. Leave him, leave him, leave him. Why am I not leaving?

“Jungkook…you’re drunk,” I whisper. We’re both drunk. Drunk on the idea of a possible romance. A possible rekindling of the fire we had almost once had.

“Are you telling me you don’t like this?” His hand glazes up the side of my body. His finger playing with the black strap of my romper. He pulls away all contact, and I am left wanting more. I want to turn around and kiss him. But I am too prideful to give in.

I don’t answer him. I hate him. God, he is the epitome of high confidence. Goddamn, why did he have to be so fucking attractive? I hate him so so so much. He is just like every other rich Californian boy. Just wanting to hook up and nothing more. Right? Right? Right?! Maybe it was because I drank too much champagne or the fact I just wanted to let go, but I shake my head no. No, I don’t like this. I love this. He is ruining me, and he loves it. And I love it too. It is the first night of summer. I want to be someone else. Not the person who is expected to study all the time. God, I need him.

I turn to face him, and he has a smirk on his face. “You think you can break me, but you can’t.”

“Oh, yeah?” he whispers lowly, looking down at my lips. “Well, you can’t break me either.” Why do we both have to be so proud? Goddammit, I want him, but I won’t give in. I won’t give in. Maybe if I keep telling that to myself I wouldn’t give into his temptations. My heels click away from him, and I open the door.

“Bye, Jungkook,” I wink at him. He looks pissed. Pissed as fuck.

By this point I do not know where Jimin had gone off to. He probably had gone off with some other girl after witnessing the rising tension between Jungkook and I. It doesn’t matter though because Jungkook and I were the sealed fate for tonight. Whether he knew it or not, one of us would eventually give in. And that would be him. I check what time it is on my phone, and it is 12:17 AM. Some people are leaving, but c’mon, the party had only started 2 hours ago.

Adrianna, Annie, and Naomi are lying back on a couch outside, their long, slender legs placed on top of the glass table. They look like they are the queens of the party. Annie and Naomi shift over to give me room in the middle.

“Heard you hooked up with Jimin,” Naomi comments.

“We just made out. Jungkook kind of interrupted us before anything could really happen.” I reply. Should I tell them about what happened after Jimin left?

“And?” Naomi presses.

“I don’t know. Jimin left, so…yeah.” My mind wanders back to thinking about Jungkook’s touch. His cold fingers grazing up my arm. His breathing next to my ear driving me insane. Stop thinking about it. Annie studies me carefully. She understands me better than Naomi and Adrianna. She rarely spread rumors nor liked being in the center of attention.

“Let’s go get some drinks,” she finally says. “We’ll be back in a few,” she says to the girls. We stand up, heading inside. The air is cold inside making me shiver.

“Please spill.”

I give her the general details, nothing…too graphic.

“Ohmygod. Why are you not with him right now?!”

“Because…we’re in a competition,” I mumble sheepishly, realizing how stupid it is. We are seventeen year olds playing little kid games.

“What…?”

“We’retryingtoseehowlongwecanstayawayfromeachother,” I say really fast, embarrassed.

“I swear to God. You are this close to getting with the hottest guy in the grade, and you’re…avoiding him? For a little competition? You’re literally crazy!” she exclaims incredulously.

“Annnnnnnie, you don’t get it,” I insist.

“All I’m hearing is that both of you are too damn proud to be the first one to admit you like each other.”

“I don’t like him.” But I do.

“You keep telling yourself that, but c’moooon. It is so obvious. Seriously, I’m telling you. Just go to him now, tell him you love him, and there’s your happily ever after.”

“Fine, fine. I’ll text him.”

“You better tell me everything tomorrow!” she squeals, and she walks back to Naomi and Adrianna.

I shake my head, smiling. I know exactly how to do it. A waiter passes by, and I quickly grab a cocktail. I take it to Jungkook’s room, and I down the sweet alcoholic drink within mere seconds. I would need it. Unlocking my phone, I text Jungkook: your room. 15 minutes. My fingers shake as I type each letter out. My heartbeat quickening. What if you’re too late just like last time? What if he’s with another girl already? What if you’re not good enough for him? What if, what if, what if? These questions run through my mind, and I become a growing time bomb. I stand up to dim the lights in his room to a point where he would be able to see me, but not super clearly. You should just leave. He doesn’t love you, I lie down on the silky bedspread, the cool fabric touching my almost bare back. Every second feels like a minute. Every minute feels like an hour. Why did it even matter to me if he comes or not? I could have any boy I want, right? I unlock my phone again to find he had still not read the text. It had been thirteen minutes. Two minutes pass, and he’s still not here. It doesn’t matter. I stand up beginning to leave, completely done with him. I’m done with him. That is the moment he finally walks in, closing the door behind him. He glides toward me until my body is pressed against the black wall, having no place to go, “Where do you think you’re going?”

“I thought you wouldn’t come,” I mutter, tilting my head down. His fingers tips my chin up. He is looking me directly in the eyes.

“Clearly, you were wrong,”

My breath stops for just a second. His lips inch towards mine and connect. They taste of mint and move against mine slowly. He seems…unsure. His hands grip my waist gently, and my hand cups his cheek. I want more. I pull away, and he looks surprised. “Kiss me like you fucking mean it. God, I thought you were good at this. Hmm, maybe I should go back to Jimin.” I egg him on, knowing he will get pissed. And he does.

“Don’t say his name,” he mutters, and his lips reconnect with mine with more need. More hunger. This time I could feel the confidence. The cockiness. It is way different than Jimin’s kisses. Jimin was absolutely emotionless, but Jungkook…He has everything. Anger. Jealousy. Love. Lust. All of it is there. I am so lost in him. He slides his jacket off, and he roughly bites my lip, needing more. He does not care how rough he is. He needs me, and I need him. I notice the hints of alcohol as our tongues fight for dominance. Putting his hand on my ponytail, Jungkook takes the hairtie out. My hair cascades down, and he runs his fingers through my hair. I eventually win control. I push him away from the wall and lead our bodies towards the bed. Suddenly, Jungkook pulls away this time. He grabs me by the waist and pushes me onto the bed so I fall into a lying position. I let out a small yell, and he smiles devilishly. All the control I thought I had is gone. He pushes up against me, his clothed hips rolling down on mine. His face buries into my neck, and I let out a small moan.

“I win,” he mumbles into my neck. I can feel him growing restless as he leaves soft kisses everywhere. His teeth work at gently tugging on the sensitive skin. I don’t care that I would go home with so many damn love bites on my neck. Jungkook is mine, and that is all that matters right now. He continues to leave bites everywhere, and no amount of makeup would be able to cover them. Moans continuously leave my lips, and God, I can feel him smiling.

“I fucking hate you, Jungkook,”

“I’m sure you do,” he breathes against my now sensitive skin. I let out a sigh of pleasure. He finally sits up to look down at me. He appears smug seeing all the bites he has left. Pure art.

I sit up and climb onto his lap, my arms hooking around his neck. “Time for payback,” I press my lips against his softly. As our lips move together, I work to throw his tie off and unbutton his shirt. My hands roam down his chest to his abs to his thigh. I grip his clothed thigh knowing it would drive him absolutely crazy. He groans lowly.

“Fuck,”

I scatter bites across his neck. The upper part of his chest. He is a mess. An absolute fucking mess. I can not believe I completely have him under my spell. He throws his head back moaning.

It is as if there is no party going on outside the almost dark bedroom. It is just me and Jungkook. In that moment, we do not give a shit about what problems we have in our lives. We just need each other.

♡~♡~♡

“I…I should go. My parents…” I groan against him. He plays with the strap of my romper.

“Just a little bit longer?” he asks. With all the will I have remaining, I remove myself from him. I shake my head no, and he looks disappointed. I glance at his clock. 1:57 AM. How had more than an hour passed of us just making out?

“So, when’s round two gonna be?” I whisper. I sit on the edge of his bed leaning over to put my heels back on. I would probably get someone who is still at the party to drive me home or something.

“How about now?” he asks, putting his chin on my shoulder. I glance at him. He looks like an innocent puppy. I do not understand how he could change his personality so fast.

“Jungkook…” I trail off.

He begins to kiss my neck again. Fuck.

“C’mon. You can deal with your parents later…” he whispers. I think about it as he continues to kiss over the hickies he had left earlier. Either way, leaving now or in the morning, my parents would kill me. I kick off my shoes as quickly as I had put them back on.

He pushes me back down, and he smirks. “And just so you know…I won. I knew you couldn’t resist me,” he remarks, his lips so close to mine.

He gives that irresistible smile and without me realizing it, he begins to slowly push the straps of my romper down. But I won’t say anything more. Because what happened in Beverly Hills stayed in Beverly Hills.

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depressedpdxstudents · 5 years ago

Text

What’s the problem?

As dozens of visitors waited in line on February 2nd at the Hudson Yards Vessel, a 19 year old teenager from Sacred Hearts University, jumped to his death off of the 150-foot-high steel structure (New York Times, 2020). On January 23rd, another young 19-year-old exchange student from China took her own life. Her body was found in the icy cold shallow waters of Mirror Lake, at the University of Connecticut Storrs campus; this was the second suicide in months on the Storrs campus (WTNH, 2020). Among colleges and universities in the US, suicide is one of the highest causes of deaths among students. According to the Journal of Affective Disorders, “Approximately 1100 college students die by suicide each year” (Wilcox, 2010). In a 2012 college survey report on mental health revealed that 36.4% of college students struggling with depression, and 16.1% concerned about their suicidal ideation. In the study, directors from university counseling centers reported 40% of the clients are present with “..mild mental health concerns..”. While 21% of students were present with “..severe mental health concerns..” (APA, 2013).

According to the American Psychiatric Association depression is defined as “..a common and serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think and how you act..Depression causes feelings of sadness and/or a loss of interest in activities once enjoyed. It can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems and can decrease a person’s ability to function at work and at home” (Parekh, 2017). Essentially, depression is a mood disorder that impacts and can ‘metastasize’ into every part of our lives. People from all walks of life are susceptible to depression. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, more than 7% of Americans had at least one major depressive episode in 2017. This is an estimation of 17.3 million adults in the United States (Major Depression, NIMH, 2017).

There are multiple symptoms, each lasting at least two weeks. These symptoms can appear as loss of energy or interests/passions, issues with self-worth, eating, concentration or sleeping (NIMH, 2017). There isn’t always one specific cause for depression. Causes can include the side effects of medication being taken, physical health, the biological makeup or cognitional patterns/chemical imbalance of the person inflicted, lack of social capital, and instances of trauma which can induce depression. Pregnancy and childbirth is another common cause for depression, as many new parents can experience postpartum depression following the birth of their child. Essentially, research has shown, multiple causes often play a role in depression (National Health Service, 2019).

Depression affects more than just a person’s mental health; it is intrinsically interconnected with their physical health as well as how they interact with their outside world. Each person experiences depression differently. Depression can oftentimes damage parts of the body: the heart, the nervous system, the digestive-tract, the immune system, and so much more. According to a published article by Harvard Medical School, “Depression has been linked to..clogging of arteries and the rupture of cholesterol-filled plaque. Depression..boosts..stress hormones, which dull the response of the heart and arteries to demands for increased blood flow” (Harvard Health Publishing, 2016). In recent years, studies by National Institute of Health have shown the inter-relationship of the body-mind connection that changes in the immune and endocrine systems play a major role in depression. There is a relationship between severity and duration of major depressive disorder, which increases frequency of heart disease, various autoimmune diseases, and even cancer (Leonard, 2010). Depression also affects different parts of its nervous system. Those experiencing chronic stress, all-too often experience a “..long-term drain on the body. As the autonomic nervous system continues to trigger physical reactions, it causes wear-and-tear on the body. It's not so much what chronic stress does to the nervous system, but what continuous activation of the nervous system does to other bodily systems that become problematic (APA, Stress Effects on the Body). Links between depression and physical symptoms even include “ chronic joint pain, limb pain, back pain, gastrointestinal problems, tiredness, sleep disturbances, psychomotor activity changes, and appetite changes (NCBI, Trivedi, 2004). Many parts of the body can be negatively impacted by depression if this illness is left untreated. The great sadness felt by a person with depression can make everyday self-care seem overwhelming and difficult, which in turn can create a decline in their overall health. Education regarding depression is incredibly important because those “experiencing depression can make it hard to find the energy to look after yourself” (Mind, 2019). Those who experience depression, all too often is “a gateway into drug and alcohol use” as a way to self medicate their negative emotions (Foundations Recovery Network, 2020). Even the National Institute on Drug Abuse stated, “Data show high rates of comorbid substance use disorders and high prevalence with mental disorders, such as depression…around 1 in 4 individuals with a SMI [Severe Mental Illness] also have an SUD [Substance Abuse Disorder]” (NIDA, 2018). According to Missouri’s Department of Mental Health, Self-medication “..is one way a person can develop a co-occuring” disorder (Missouri Department of Mental Health, 2017). In 2018, SAMHSA released their data on mental health and substance use in America. Their findings discovered that there are roughly 9.2 million adults struggling with co-occurring substance use and mental disorders (US Department of Health & Human Services, 2019).

Opening dialogue surrounding depression is key in beginning to confront the stigma of depression (and other mental illnesses) that affect people in the United States. “Stigma associated with mental illness, can be a significant barrier to seeking treatment” (Anxiety & Depression Association of America, 2018). In a 2017 article by the New York Times, colleges are getting “proactive in addressing depression on campus” (Tugend, 2017). Through surveys, therapy dogs, painting and more, colleges are beginning to take steps in the importance of mental health. Awareness is the first step in normalizing, destigmatizing, and legitimizing depression. Leaving depression unrecognized can lead to a greater exacerbation of unhealthy coping behaviors in people with depression, such as the use of drugs and alcohol, or worse, suicide. Creating a community in which depression is understood and seen can combat the risk of suicide that endangers those with this illness.

American Psychiatric Association. (n.d.). Stress Effects On The Body. In . (Ed.). Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/helpcenter/stress-body

American Psychiatric Association. (2013). The Association for University and College Counseling Center Directors Annual Survey Reporting period: September 1, 2011 through August 31, 2012. In College students’ mental health is a growing concern, survey finds (6th ed., Vol. 44, p. 13). Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/monitor/2013/06/college-students

American Psychiatric Association. (2017). What is Depression? In R. Parekh & . (Eds.), M.D., M.P.H.. Retrieved from https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/depression/what-is-depression

Anxiety & Depression Association of America. (2018). Depression Among College Students (). In D. Cusumano LMHC, E. Riba LCSW, & . (Eds.). Retrieved from https://adaa.org/learn-from-us/from-the-experts/blog-posts/consumer/depression-among-college-students

Harvard Health Publishing. (2016, November). Depression and heart disease: A two-way street. In Harvard Health Publishing Harvard Medical School. Retrieved from https://www.health.harvard.edu/heart-health/depression-and-heart-disease-a-two-way-street

Mind. (n.d.). Depression (). In . (Ed.). Retrieved from https://www.mind.org.uk/media-a/2935/depression-2019.pdf

Missouri Department of Mental Health. n.d.). Co-occurring Disorders In Adults (). In . (Ed.). Jefferson City, MO: Missouri Department of Mental Health, Division of Behavioral Health (DBH). Retrieved from https://dmh.mo.gov/media/pdf/co-occurring-disorders-adults-facts

National Institute of Mental Health. (2017). Major Depression. In NIMH. Retrieved from https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/major-depression.shtml

National Institute on Drug Abuse. 2018). Common Comorbidities with Substance Use Disorders (). In . (Ed.). N.p.: Author. Retrieved from https://www.drugabuse.gov/node/pdf/1155/common-comorbidities-with-substance-use-disorders

NIDA. (2018, February 27). Common Comorbidities with Substance Use Disorders. Retrieved from https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/research-reports/common-comorbidities-substance-use-disorders

Pellicano, T., & Simoni, S. (2020, January 22). Cause-of-death determined for UConn student found in Mirror Lake on UConn Storrs campus. WTNH Channel 8. Retrieved from https://www.wtnh.com/news/connecticut/autopsy-to-be-performed-on-uconn-student-found-in-mirror-lake-on-uconn-storrs-campus/

Salcedo, A., & Van Syckle, K. (2020, February 2). Suicide at Hudson Yards Vessel: Teenager Jumps Over Railing. The New York Times. Retrieved from https://www.nytimes.com/2020/02/02/nyregion/hudson-yards-death-suicide.html

Trivedi MD, M. H. (2004). The Link Between Depression and Physical Symptoms. Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, 12-16. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC486942/pdf/i1523-5998-6-s1-12.pdf

Tugend, A. (2017, June 7). Colleges Get Proactive in Addressing Depression on Campus. The New York Times. Retrieved from https://www.nytimes.com/2017/06/07/education/colleges-get-proactive-in-addressing-depression-on-campus.html

US Department of Health & Human Services. 2018). SAMHSA’s Annual Mental Health, Substance Use Data Provide Roadmap for Future Action (). In . (Ed.). Retrieved from https://dmh.mo.gov/media/pdf/co-occurring-disorders-adults-facts

Wilcox, H. C., Arria, A. M., Caldeira, K. M., Vincent, K. B., Pinchevsky, G. M., & O'Grady, K. E. (2010, December). Prevalence and predictors of persistent suicide ideation, plans, and attempts during college. Elsevier, 127(1-3), 287-294. doi:https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jad.2010.04.017

Yang, L., Zhao, Y., Wang, Y., Li, B., Liu, L., Zhang, X., & Cui, R. (2015, July 13). The Effects of Psychological Stress on Depression. Current Neuropharmacology, 494-504. doi:10.2174/1570159X1304150831150507

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shirtlesssammy · 7 years ago

Text

2x15: Tall Tales

Then:

The biggest prank Sam Winchester ever pulled was rocking those bangs, amirite?

Now:

On a dark and wintery evening, a college professor, walking to his office, *notices* (gross dude) a female student and asks if she needs any help. She wants to meet with him now and after a brief hesitation, he eyes her up again and invites her into the building. Once upstairs, the young woman confesses she’s not one of his students. “Really? Then why are you here?” His face falls almost immediately, and she just stares and then insists on leaving. He’s “somewhat of a celebrity” but rebuffs her advances (but pulls her closer, fondles her hair, and kisses her.)

When he pulls away, the woman’s face has transformed and the man recoils in horror.

Downstairs, the janitor is just locking up for the night. As he walks away from the building, the professor falls from the building, landing with a splat on the ground.

A week later, Sam and Dean are staying at one of their more shady hotels from the early years. Sam is busy reading while Dean eats greasy food on Sam’s bed and listening to music. The brothers are at each other's’ throats. Sam’s pissed about his computer and Dean’s pissed about his car. Bobby arrives to break up the happy party. It seems they’re stumped about the case of the suicidal professor.

In a flashback, Sam and Dean pose as reporters to get the lowdown on the possible haunted university building. (Lol, the professor was an Ethics and Morality professor.) Sam learns that the urban legend says a spurned lover from 30 years ago haunts the place and anyone who sees her doesn’t live to tell the tale. Dean drinks Purple Nurples. Dean is also attempting to reel in a “feisty little wildcat”, Starla. Starla meets Sam and then vomits in her mouth. Lovely. Dean is excited. Sam is UNIMPRESSED.

Back in Present Day, Dean denies this story completely. Well, not the Purple Nurples. And Not-Starla “was a classy chic.”

In Dean’s flashback, he tells his version of the story. Not-Starla is a grad student, and between purple shots, Dean and Not-Starla discuss local ghost stories. Dean thinks himself such a sauve son of a bitch. “My god, you are attractive.” Not-Starla is speaking for the world. Dean tries to stay on task, but Not-Starla is mesmerized, and they soon start kissing.

A high-key annoyed (and annoying) Sam interrupts them. Dean ignores him.

Present Day Sam denies all of it. Bobby wants to know what’s really going on.

Sam’s flashback reveals they visit the professor’s office. The janitor lets them take a look around. And he reveals that he’s the one that found him. Dean stuffs his face with candy (“C’mon, I ate one, maybe two.”)

The janitor also mentions seeing a young woman enter with the professor, but never leave. Back at the hotel, the boys break down all the false leads -no EMF, no sixth floor. Dean suggests researching the history of the building. Sam instantly opens his laptop and finds it frozen on Busty Asian Beauties. Dean slinks away.

In Present Day, Sam says that there’s no information on a suicidal coed. The story gets weird though. They flashback to Curtis, one of the students Sam interviewed at the bar, is walking alone at night and appears to be abducted by aliens. In the present day, Bobby is dubious.

Bobby: Aliens?

Sam: Yeah

Bobby: Aliens!?

Dean: Yeah

Sam and Dean know it’s not real, but talk to him all the same. Curtis is reluctant, but off the record, he recounts what he can remember from his abduction. There were tests, probing, and slow dances to Lady in Red.

Dean’s face was a mess of emotion during this story. Bobby thinks the kid is nuts, but Sam and Dean think otherwise after finding a saucer shaped disc on the campus lawn.

They keep digging and interview more students. Sam gets super emotional trying to help a student. (He does not.)

The student thinks Curtis deserves what he got for being a hard pledgemaster.

Back at the hotel room, Dean concludes that the connection between the two victims is that they’re both dicks. While Dean’s expounding on his theory, Sam checks the room for his laptop. When he can’t find it, he goes off on a rant about all of Dean’s worst habits and...vaguely threatens the Impala (in the way of siblings). Poor Bobby, meanwhile, is stuck parenting these two yahoos. Bobby coaxes the rest of the story from them with eye rolls miraculously held in check.

The last victim was a scientist who tried reaching for a gold watch in the sewer drain, only to have his arm chewed off by something snarly. When Sam and Dean broke into the morgue to check out the guy’s body, they discovered just sparse grisly remains to examine. Gross. Sam discovers a belly scale stuck in the man’s flesh...a belly scale from an alligator. (My headcanon is that Sam used to watch nature shows while Dean and their dad went on hunts, which is how he knows what a friggin’ gator belly scale looks like.)

Dean checks out the sewer ready to hunt some gators, and when he comes up empty, he heads back topside. Only once he gets back on the street and heads back to Baby, he finds all his tires are flat and there’s a money clip with S.W engraved on it on the ground. Dean grabs the money and heads into the hotel room full steam ahead. He confronts Sam about letting all the air out of his tires, waving Sam’s money clip around. Sam’s shocked, denies the accusations, and demands his money back. This devolves into juvenile wrestling over the money clip and...we’ve looped back to the beginning of the episode.

“Okay, I’ve heard enough,” Bobby says. He scolds both Sam and Dean and informs them that they’ve been hoodwinked by ...a trickster!

“That’s what I thought,” Dean says. Dean. Bean.

Bobby tells them that tricksters make trouble as easy as breathing and it’s been turning the two brothers against each other to put them off of their scent. “Tricksters target the high and the mighty, knock them down a peg, usually with a sense of humor.” (And a good side of DEAD.) Sam and Dean think about all the commonalities between their three cases and then remember the janitor…

Cut to the janitor’s apartment. He’s got a cute pup. Good music. An actual over-the-top buffet of sweets and then… “Something’s missing,” the trickster muses just before he conjures two women to share the bounty of desserts.

The next day Sam and Dean head up into a university building with the janitor aka trickster on a flimsy pretext. Sam splits away and investigates the janitor’s locker. He finds an issue of the Weekly World News in there. A little while later Sam and Dean argue over needing more proof than just a tabloid while the trickster smirks from a window above them. Sam implores Dean to wait until he gets back to fight the trickster.

Dean waits until nightfall and then says “Screw this,” and heads inside to take out his target. He pulls out a giant stake and then hears music. Dean opens the door to see a theater and on the stage, two scantily clad women recline on a lavish red bed. A disco ball whirls overhead. “This isn’t real,” he tells them, but they assure him that it’ll feel real. WINK WINK.

Dean is tempted. MAN, is he tempted. But he’s gotta keep his eyes on the prize. He turns around to find the trickster sitting in the audience seating. The trickster tells him that he can have the women and the deluxe orgy setting while the trickster skips town. Dean tells him that he likes his style, but he’s gonna have to pass.

MUAHAHAHA, the trickster essentially says. “You shouldn’t have come alone.”

Dean agrees. Enter Sam AND Bobby - both armed with trickster-killing stakes. The fight that Sam and Dean staged was just a diversion. “Wanna see a real trick?” the trickster asks. He conjures two chainsaw psychos and supercharges the women, whaling on all three of our guys.

Dean stabs the trickster and then the women and chainsaw killers disappear. The Winchesters and Bobby race out of the building and hop into the car, eager to leave the body behind. Sam and Dean share hasty apologies over the hood of the car. (Bobby: D’aaaaww.) The Impala drives away with a rumble…

Back in the theater, someone saunters up to the trickster’s body. As we watch, the stabbed body disappears and the camera pans up to reveal the trickster - alive and well!

The Quotester:

If no one lives to tell the tale, then how does the tale get told?

I don’t know man, I think they’re called Purple Nurples

Sorry, I just can't even concentrate. It's like staring into the sun.

Dean, this is a very serious investigation. We don’t have time for any of your blah blah blah.

He got more ass than a toilet seat.

You gotta give those purple nurples a shot.

I’m here for you, you brave little soldier. I acknowledge your pain.

These punishments...they're almost poetic. Actually, it'd be more like a limerick, but still…

Just your typical haunted campus, alien abduction, alligator-in-the-sewer gig.

If you two bothered to pull your heads outta your asses, it all would have been pretty clear.

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

#spn recap #spn rewatch #spn 2x15 #tall tales #dean winchester #sam winchester #gabriel #the trickster #supernatural season 2

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missmentelle · 7 years ago

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How to Fight for Campus Mental Health

I go to one of the most high-stress universities in America, with a suicide rate well above the national student average. On my campus - and on campuses around the world - there has been a lot of talk about universities doing more to promote student mental health. Unfortunately, their actual responses have been weak. Without specific policy demands from students, universities have been making half-hearted attempts to hand out granola bars during midterms and pass out pamphlets. It’s not good enough. If universities want to be an essential rite of passage for hundreds of thousands of young people - which they do - then they need to do more to protect the mental health of those young people. So if you’re a university student and you want your campus to start taking real steps for mental health and making real change, it’s time to start speaking up and advocating for some common-sense changes like: 1. Students should be able to book an appointment at campus mental health centers to see a therapist within 72 hours. Currently, the wait times for an appointment at most campus mental centers is somewhere between 8-12 weeks, which is more than half a semester and completely unacceptable. When students are in crisis, they need help now, not sometime next May. 2. Campus security, Teaching Assistants and Residence Assistants need better training and more resources for dealing with mental health concerns. At most universities, RAs get a quick crash course on dealing with mental illness and then they are expected to handle serious mental health situations on their own, while still trying to deal with the stresses of being students. Teaching assistants and campus security guards might get little or no training. The result can often be mental health situations that are missed, or escalated far more than they should be. More training and support for everyone who works hands-on with potentially mentally ill students is vital.

3. Students need easy, judgement-free ways to take time off school due to mental health concerns. If a student is overwhelmed or spiraling, it needs to be much easier for them to arrange to take a semester off or reduce their course load to recover, without facing undue judgement or losing their spot in their program. Likewise, graduate school and professional programs should not be able to hold a reduced course load against a student with a documented mental health issue.

4. Students should be given course credit for involvement in clubs and student organizations. One of the biggest mental health problems on campus is loneliness and isolation. It’s hard to make friends in your classes. One of the best ways to make lasting friendships is to join a student club, but many students are nervous that a club will distract them from coursework. Offering a small amount of credit for campus involvement would encourage more students to join. 5. Students should have 24/7 access to a confidential mental health service, like a hotline. Many campus resources are non-confidential, which means any serious complaints like sexual assault or suicidal thoughts must be reported to university officials. Students need somewhere to turn at all hours of the day and night, where they can get supportive listening and campus-specific resources without fear of being reported.

6. Campus mental health services must be made available in more languages. International students have some of the highest rates of suicide; in addition to the usual school stress, they are usually dealing with culture shock, homesickness, increased difficulty making friends, and financial problems. Even though international students have to pass an English proficiency exam to study, they may not feel comfortable seeking out counselling or talking about their feelings in their second language. It must be easier for international students to gain access to services in their native language. 7. Disability services need to be readily available to mentally ill students, as well as mental health assessments to prove a disability. Many mentally ill students are capable of getting excellent grades if they just have some extra support. Note-takers for students who are sometimes too anxious to go to class, arrangements to take tests in private rooms, and extended deadlines for assignments can all make a world of difference for students who are struggling. These accommodations need to be easier to get for students who need them. 8. Student health plans must have ample coverage for psychoactive medications and therapy sessions. Students who pay through the nose for mandatory student health plans should never find themselves unable to get mental health services due to cost. These things must be included in all student health insurance packages.

#missmentelle #campus #campuslife #college #mental health #mental illness #Suicide #depression #mental heath support

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your-dietician · 3 years ago

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Why a focus on mental health is essential for students returning to school in the fall, experts say

New Post has been published on https://tattlepress.com/health/why-a-focus-on-mental-health-is-essential-for-students-returning-to-school-in-the-fall-experts-say/

Why a focus on mental health is essential for students returning to school in the fall, experts say

It’s been a school year like no other in recent memory — combining the challenge of remote and hybrid learning for millions with the agony and strain of a pandemic that has killed more than 600,000.

Mental health has taken a toll on many students and staff alike.

So as districts prepare for the fall after the first full year during the coronavirus pandemic, many are looking at ways to help best address the mental health needs of students, especially those who may have experienced trauma, anxiety or social isolation.

One Ohio school district will welcome back students with more counselors and social workers on hand. Hilliard City Schools in Columbus has added seven new school counselors, up to 42, and 10 more social workers, for 15 total, Director of Student Well-Being Mike Abraham told ABC News.

“Anxiety has always been high with this generation,” Abraham said. “With the pandemic, some students have become very comfortable with isolation, not having to deal with the anxiety that school might bring or their peers bring. That’s what all districts are dealing with coming back now that these kids are together — giving them strategies to be able to deal with their anxiety, to deal with whatever mental health issues that they’re struggling with.”

The school district, which has nearly 17,000 students, is tapping into federal relief money earmarked for K-12 public schools to pay for the new positions.

Last month, Iowa officials announced the state is launching a new pre-K-12 school mental health center that would expand training and resources that support mental health needs in schools.

The Iowa Department of Education is putting $20 million in federal pandemic relief toward the center, which aims to “address the impact pandemic-related disruptions have had on students and will focus on strengthening mental health support moving forward,” Iowa Department of Education Director Ann Lebo said in a statement.

And the Miami-Dade County school district is exploring using federal relief funds to hire more mental health clinicians as most of the district’s 334,000 students are expected to return to in-person learning this fall, the Miami Herald reported last month.

Other initiatives targeting school culture include adding mental health as an excused absence. That will be the case for Montgomery County Public Schools, Maryland’s largest school district, starting in the fall, Board of Education member Patricia O’Neill told ABC News Washington, DC, affiliate WJLA.

“I think coming off the pandemic this year, adults and students recognize the challenges that mental health has brought about,” O’Neill told the station. “We had to figure out how to make this change and elevate the importance of mental health, as it may be a barrier to learning.”

Range of mental health concerns

The full impact of the pandemic on students will take time to understand, Kelly Vaillancourt Strobach, director of policy and advocacy for the National Association of School Psychologists and a school psychologist, told ABC News. One area of concern is emergency department visits for attempted suicide or suicide ideation, she said.

In 2020, mental health-related emergency department visits among those aged 12 to 17 increased 31% compared to 2019, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Visits for suspected suicide attempts in girls that age from Feb. 21 to March 20, 2021, were 50.6% higher than the same period in 2019, the agency reported.

A report published in Pediatrics also found “significant increases” in the number of emergency department visits for suicide ideation and attempts in youth for certain months in 2020 when compared to the previous year.

Isolation due to remote learning is another concern. A recent report from a team of researchers at the Graduate Center, City University of New York found that 91% of New York City parents surveyed agreed there should be “increased mental health supports for students due to social isolation from COVID-19.”

Fifth-grade students sit distanced from each other separated by plexiglass at Caroline G. Atkinson School in Freeport, N.Y., June 21, 2021.

Meanwhile, some students may not have experienced any toll on their mental health, and may have even thrived virtually, Vaillancourt Strobach said.

“We don’t know the level of trauma that individual students have had. We don’t know their family situation, if they lost somebody, if parents have lost jobs,” she said. “So what we are encouraging schools to do is really in those first couple of weeks, just infuse a lot of social-emotional learning, give kids the opportunity to talk about what’s happened over the last year.”

“There’s a lot of focus and attention on learning loss, or lost instructional time. Certainly it’s important that we address student’s academic needs, but if we don’t have a handle on their social-emotional learning and their mental health needs, the academics are never going to come,” she added.

‘All about adjustment’

Summer to fall can often be a tough transition for students in general, Janine Domingues, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute and the manager of curriculum development and professional training for its school and community programs, noted.

“That first month of school is all about adjustment,” she told ABC News. “Now, even more so, it’s a whole different ball game.”

Students may experience anxiety and stress while getting acclimated to the classroom and a new routine, she said.

When Centennial High School in Corona, California, welcomed back students on campus for their last quarter this past school year, it was an adjustment for some students returning for in-person learning, Josh Godinez, a counselor at the school and chair of the board of the California Association of School Counselors, told ABC News.

A mother assists her daughter with a remote learning class at their home in West Jordan, Utah, Sept. 8, 2020.

“It was almost like the isolation allowed them to create almost somewhat of a fantasy of what they remembered about school. And then showing up to the social distancing partitions, only half their class being there, everybody in masks, it wasn’t that picture that they had created,” he said. “Things start to get back to normal, but aren’t really back to normal.”

As a counselor, Godinez said he worked with students on an individual level to address any anxiety, apprehension, grief or fears students had.

“There was no one response when they came back to school,” he said.

A call for lasting change

Come the fall, Centennial High School, which has about 3,300 students, will have brought on a new counselor, focusing on English learners, bringing them to nine total, Godinez said.

The pandemic has helped bring more attention to the importance of mental health support in school, particularly as districts have an infusion of federal funding that could be put toward more staffing or training, and how schools can foster a healing-centered environment “focusing on social-emotional well-being,” Domingues said.

“This year has kind of really helped propel that mission forward,” she said.

The attention and funding come as schools nationally are largely understaffed when it comes to support staff like social workers and psychologists, experts said.

The National Association of School Psychologists recommends a ratio of no more than 500 students per school psychologist. In the 2019-2020 school year, the national ratio was estimated to be more than double, and only one state met the recommended ratio, the organization said.

The National Association of Social Workers and American School Counselor Association both recommend a ratio of 250 students per social worker and counselor, which most states also fail to meet, according to a 2019 ACLU report.

“We’ve had 100,000 traumatized school communities in this country,” Robert Boyd, president of the School-Based Health Alliance, which promotes school-based health centers in the U.S., told ABC News. “We’re coming into this with not enough school behavioral health specialists. … We didn’t have it before the pandemic.”

The pandemic relief funds could help bring those ratios down, the experts ABC News spoke with said, though noted more rural areas often face a staffing shortage. Boyd’s organization is also focused on diversifying school support staff, which tends to be white women, he said.

Some schools may need to lean on community providers, Vaillancourt Strobach said. Trained grief counselors, for instance, may include pastors and morticians, Boyd noted.

Beyond dealing with staffing shortages, districts may build up their programs, only to not be able to sustain them in the long term.

“Are we going to make a lot of really good progress because there’s been so much attention paid to the importance of school mental health, and then with the American Rescue Plan dollars hit their limit, are we going to be back at square one?” Vaillancourt Strobach said.

Mental health professionals hope this spotlight leads to lasting change and funding support, beyond the pandemic.

“We don’t need to focus on student mental health just because of COVID,” Vaillancourt Strobach said. “The need has always been there; as a nation, we are finally paying attention to it.”

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autoirishlitdiscourses · 4 years ago

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Discourse of Wednesday, 31 March 2021

You're not alone. So, here, and this is a weaker way of being as successful as you can take to be more engaged with the paper in such a great addition to reciting the text carefully, because I'm leaving town for the paper is a hilarious parody of military recruitment videos in an in-lecture boost; yes, your attention should primarily be on the section that has my comments on it and would then be reciting, anyway to read all 44 pages of the A range for you, because they highlight a part of the quarter, and don't have a happy holiday break! But you did quite a good weekend, and your writing is otherwise so good and your bonus for performing in front of a particular race is? Does that help? You can signal that you lectured more than that they don't warm up more abstract and general phrasing to which I've posted a copy of your discussion plans. If you discuss this coming week 20 November 2013—Wait a moment. You picked a selection from a two-year program in their key terms more specifically about your topic, based on the section, or inherently uninteresting none of the texts is also available.

Oversleeping, even if only because it ties together a lot of people haven't done the reading. So one combination that would have most needed in order to do so would be unwise simply to talk about in this paper to pass. If you want to do is to engage in discussion. That is to engage in a little more. Of course! D 60% 63% D-—You've written a smart investment long-term for when and what it meant to move along the email servers that the option has/has not removed the price tag from his angry moustache to Mr Power's mild face and said so on the other. I'll be in section; you could do so just let me know in my 6 p. Well done on this and, Godot Vladimir's speech, 33ff. Not feeling well. Both of these is that you must email me a URL is perfectly OK at this point whether there is also a good job this week in section and four the other Godot group before the third line of discussion and question provoked close readings of Butcher Boy song 6 p. You did a number of students on the Internet, just send me an email saying that you inform people who were getting a why you can't go on in your work that you will automatically continue to attend section and four the other person who's still on the last few weeks in section the first place you might profitably pose to the zombies, who is a strong preference on going second or third, although it sounds like it passes differently when you're not in terms of the course for a long way in which hawthorn bushes often mark a boundary between this world and the next lower grade range.

You picked a very sophisticated and elegantly worded research paper next quarter. I think, to talk about papers, so they won't be assessed until after the final exam will be. Very well done, both because it touches on some important material in there that I sent to you. You had a lot of ways. Alternately, we know about the change you see as important. Should Be Free One of the text s that you're using it as optional. In these circumstances, though not the only productive way to clarify your own ideas out in advance or have a 91. /Participation score is calculated. Nice job on the Mad Hatter's hat in Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland. Again, well done overall.

What this means 11:30 just come over then and I'll see you next week. —But I presume that this is a positive influence. Let me know if you need to have practiced a bit more carefully to be some minor changes before I pass it out in detail, I think you've got a good background without impairing the discussion in a comparable phenomenon, and you nailed it. I think that your paper's structure often causes your very nuanced readings by a female role model, and definitely satisfies the requirements and is mentioned in lecture 15 Oct: The Arnhold Program for junior and senior English majors, English 150 this quarter although I think you did at the issue constructed? Well done.

Well done on this you connected it effectively to larger concerns of the previous forty minutes. I'll give it back to you, but really, your paper is that if you can't go on and perform the assignment. Your paper effectively traces out a group to respond to a manageable task. By extension, something else? Like holding water in your paper has some substantial strengths in this round of paper-grading rubric above. I feel that it would be to make sure I'm about equally hard for you—I've marked ask if you start participating and pick up his midterm; is there a particular student's answers on questions about these, though, even if you have an A-range papers: Receiving a D on a form at this point is that your very nuanced readings into a satisfying thesis is to say that you may just be that you will have to choose White Hawthorn in the Forest of Arden itself a sophisticated logical structure that makes sense to present material. Let me provide some scenarios for less-than-expected grade is calculated.

I think that it would be unwise simply to assume that they'll be able to make up the sense of the text s with which they appeared. Here is the overall arc that includes it; you also missed the professor's if you disagree with you, actually; you also gave a sensitive, thoughtful, engaged delivery, and I won't post them tomorrow night! Great! You don't necessarily think that you needed to happen here, I really appreciate, by love, and with your score was 96% two students tied for this paper, and I quite liked it. Your initial explication was thoughtful and focused without being asked to make sure I have to make room for additional work on future pieces of writing with the freedom to leave my office hours. The joke in today's/Doonesbury/is available.

Write it in any number of important things in your section this week. Even finding small things, and I suspect that much of this would be to think about what you think that paying more attention to the growing poet, as it opens up an interpretive pathway into one of the room, but getting the group while valorizing their input and meeting them at their level of competence by any means, essentially, is not a fair and reasonable in addition to doing it is possible, and you do a project on on line 12; and b includes the recitation assignment here; many of which have particular specific takes on these issues and showing that you might notice Bloom's interest in responses to statements and thoughts from other students. What kind of murder did win small glory with the fact that these paintings fall within the larger-scale concerns very effectively and in a way that we haven't yet fully thought around what your priorities are if you have just over 87% in the first to get there before you can which specific part of the recitation assignment so you can say more than that, for that section; you also gave an excellent weekend! You picked a longer selection than the interpretive problem that people can find one here. Which texts I have a chance to turn your major: The Lovers 1928; probably many others. All of the class and how that functions in comparison with the rest of the professor's policy is that you originally selected. Stoddard, O'Casey, Act II: 1987-1990, p. But you did a good recitation. 1% of the specific text of Yeats's Under Ben Bulben The Stare's Nest and of reflecting his rather anguished disappointment with the play, it feels like it better, and your recitation segment deals explicitly with it. Thanks again for some reason though this is unfortunate because they will be on campus on Monday of next quarter, in South Hall 2607 if he's amenable, we'll work something out.

Again, very well on the final. If the other reading assignments for Ulysses are grounded firmly in its historical situation here, while the strong, insightful, theoretically informed paper here in a close reading exercise of your argument on the matter have I said, I think you overlooked people in, first-come, first-person pronoun in a comparative analysis of a specific claim about the book was published? One other thing that you've set up yours and which lines of poetry or prose for the specific language of your discussion on Francie's mother commits suicide; I like your lecture slideshow along. Doing this would result in the ideological ditch is a very good job of contextualizing the paper to you you can bring them back to you. I will be no extra spacing between paragraphs or other work for me to boil down to is that it naturally wants to make sure that your basic idea is basically structured in a nuanced argument. Section and four openings in both sections in this contemporary world that we have tentatively arranged to work for you sometimes it's helpful to open up discussion for the quarter, and what has to be even more successful would be happy to discuss and haven't used Word extensively for a job well done overall. Also, please. I was wondering whether we'll be having section during Thanksgiving week. However, these are important and impressive. Check your U-Mail account! That all looks good to me by email except to respond to any particular essay format, an A-for the class, so a film adaptation would certainly be a more or less first-in, and that your paper ultimately winds up being more successful would be most successful if it seems history is to think about intermediate or preparatory questions that you find interesting, problematic, fascinating, questionable, and to succeed in this case.

Etc. The answer is. Give a stellar, passionate, exactly? As I've said not because I think that it naturally wants to attend those sections as well. There are in the context of dental exams toward the Nugents there are places occasionally when you talk about how you're going to be aware of these are very impressive work here, and if that still doesn't work for you to do.

Your paper should be an indication that you're likely to be fully successful, though I felt occasionally that the class than when you're at the draft of a pound into 240 pence 240 d or informally 240 p. You might think about how you want me to do, because that will change by much. As a Young Man, which has a clear argumentative thread, and if you want to see how many people really love Godot and Camus to enrich your own thoughts on this will make it into an analytical approach to this emotion and the necessity of vocalizing stage directions. Before I forget: Do you want to sign up for the 5 p. See you at the appropriate types that add to your secondary sources. I think that a person of comparatively limited energy and/or not this lifts you to refine your thesis at the end of that range was flagrantly giving up points in mind when writing September 1913. Answers the question of whether you hit a snag that students often hit with compare/contrast paper which is already enough to be familiar with is Marion Zimmer Bradley's The Mists of Avalon, which I was of course grade.

#Irish literature #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Python #Markov chains

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epacer · 4 years ago

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Education

Closed San Diego school districts aren’t sure when they will reopen

Almost 11 months into the pandemic, some San Diego County school districts say they aren’t sure when to reopen as they wait for case rates to fall and for vaccines to be made available to school staff.

Three CDC scientists stated in an article this week that there is little evidence that schools have contributed to community spread of COVID-19, as long as there are adequate safety measures in place, suggesting that schools should be open. Meanwhile, children’s health experts warn that learning loss and depression are taking a toll on children due to school closures.

Yet reopening for several districts in San Diego County remains a distant possibility.

Elementary schools in San Diego County are blocked by the state from reopening until the county’s daily new-case rate falls below 25 per 100,000 residents. Middle and high schools are blocked from reopening even longer, until the county rate falls below 7 per 100,000 residents.

San Diego County is still far from those thresholds, but it is getting closer. Since Jan. 12, the county’s daily case rate has been on the decline and is now at 50 per 100,000 residents. The case rate dropped by 20 in the past two weeks.

“There’s a whole lot of waiting game going on for all of us,” said Manny Rubio, spokesman for Sweetwater Union High School District. “We’re preparing along the way … but definitely it’s a lot of waiting just to see, hopefully, if rates come down.”

Schools that reopened before San Diego County fell to the most-restrictive purple tier in November, however, are allowed to remain open. Some school districts have been open for 17 weeks, highlighting disparities within San Diego County of who gets to be taught in person and who doesn’t.

Falling case rates led Los Angeles County to announce this week that schools could reopen in as soon as two to three weeks. San Diego County has not made such a prediction.

But it’s unclear whether other school districts will choose to reopen even once San Diego County reaches the case-rate thresholds.

Some school officials and teacher unions say they need to consider their own local case rates before reopening, not just the county’s overall rate. They note that communities in San Diego and South County have always had disproportionately higher case rates than the county as a whole. In some zip codes, the rate is as high as two or three times that of the county.

Chula Vista Elementary School District has set an even higher standard for reopening after bargaining with unions and does not plan to reopen until the county reaches the less-restrictive red tier, which is below a daily new case rate of 7 per 100,000.

“Our case rates are so much higher down in South County,” said Susan Skala, president of the Chula Vista teachers union. “We’ve got a lot of essential workers. We’ve got families who are mixing and we can’t control what people do outside of school, and can we afford to bring that into the school?”

San Ysidro Elementary School District is waiting for the county to fall below the 25-case rate. Then it will decide on a reopening date, while taking into account school safety measures and COVID rates within the district’s boundaries.

Some educator unions also say they want to wait until all their members have had a chance to get vaccinated before reopening. That’s the case for San Diego Unified educators, who want to wait until they get both doses of a vaccine before returning to campus, said Kisha Borden, president of the San Diego Unified teachers union.

“The majority of our educators want the vaccination and are anxious to receive it,” Borden said.

On Thursday, a frustrated Gov. Gavin Newsom said that if schools wait for all school staff to be vaccinated before opening, they will never reopen this school year, according to Politico.

The state and counties have received only a fraction of the vaccines they need to inoculate all health-care workers, long-term care residents and people 65 and older — the groups that have been given permission to receive vaccines first.

School staff are next in line for the vaccine. But amid persistent supply and distribution problems, it’s unclear when exactly the state and counties will extend vaccine eligibility to them, and how long it will take school staff to get vaccinated. The state has said eligibility would be extended to certain essential workers, including school staff, in mid-February.

In San Diego County there are 620,000 people in the first vaccine phase, as well as roughly 500,000 people 65 and older who are currently eligible to get the vaccine. But only 485,900 doses have been shipped to the county, as of Thursday. Each person needs two doses of the currently available vaccines to be fully vaccinated.

About 224,000 San Diegans have received at least one vaccine dose, but only 45,200 people have been fully vaccinated.

San Diego Unified will not decide what conditions need to be met to reopen schools until it hears the opinions of a panel of UC San Diego experts that the district consulted with last August, said Board President Richard Barrera. The district expects to hear back from UC San Diego in February.

Barrera said the district is going back to UCSD because it wants clearer guidance on how to factor several issues — such as recent research, vaccines, COVID testing, and new and more contagious strains of the virus — into its existing reopening plan, under which schools won’t open for instruction until the county is in the less-restrictive red tier.

“All of that puts us in a position where we say its time to go back to our UCSD team and get guidelines that we can actually work with,” Barrera said.

Barrera also said the governor’s plan for reopening schools has been confusing and flawed. Newsom proposed offering schools hundreds of dollars per student for schools to reopen, but Barrera said it’s not enough to pay for the frequency of testing for staff and students that Newsom wants for schools in areas of high COVID transmission. Newsom’s proposed incentives have not been approved by the state legislature.

Meanwhile, evidence is mounting that schools often do not contribute to community spread of the coronavirus, as some district officials feared.

Recent research and San Diego County data suggest that schools are not frequently sources of outbreaks — unless basic safety measures such as masking and social distancing are not followed. One study found that children have an increased risk of infection in gatherings but not in schools.

One of the first studies to measure the pandemic’s effect on students in California from the PACE research center found that children are indeed suffering significant learning loss from school closures, and it is disproportionately hurting low-income children and English language learners.

School closures also have been taking a toll on children’s physical and mental health, driving an increase in anxiety, depression and suicidal ideation, pediatricians and mental health counselors say.

“What has to happen to get kids back in school has to happen now,” said Janet Crow, clinical professor of pediatrics at UC San Diego. “I promise you, it will have much more dire effects on children to not have another year of school … We have got to figure it out.” *Reposted article from the UT by Kristen Taketa, January 31, 2021

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