#this counts are art right? haha
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ayaka, plastic figure fix/repaint!
I decided I wanted to get into 3d figure painting because I have a huge urge to paint figures. I bought a resin printer and all the stuff that goes with 3d printing. I even joined a patreon/discord to get files for figures.
in the discord, someone posted their blog story of their process for repainting some cheap plastic figures. they advised it's a good way to practice when you first start out painting because these figures are cheaper than resin printing. I liked the ayaka figure they got, so I went to aliexpress to find one for myself.
if you're interested in their blog post, you can find it here. they go into more details than I do in some parts, if you're interested in that! (and more pictures since tumblr has a limit)
read my adventure below⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇
she came in the mail with a few broken pieces, but nothing a little super glue probably won't fix. (at the time of writing this, i'm realizing I forgot to purchase glue...) generally she's pretty decent for a cheap plastic bootleg of this impossible-to-get garage kit figure:

the painting inconsistencies are where I come in to get my practice. the broken pieces can be fixed later.


her bangs in the front are top long and cover her eyes so i'll have to figure out how to cut those. the hole for the umbrella is way too small, so I need to figure out how to fix that. but I will focus on painting first.
her eyes are the best painted part. I won't have to mess with those luckily haha. she is clearly supposed to have socks/tights on from the way the model is made and based on the original figure design. I need to paint the leggies! there's a few very small details on her clothes that need some extra added paint. there's some details missing like the little flowers which I will try to add. lastly, the umbrella is a plain blue blob. I plan to add some color and paint flowers onto it before I glue the broke rod back on.
first things she needs to be dismembered! plastic figures aren't the hardest to take apart, but is still a struggle, at least for me it was. in the blog post I shared above, the person used a welding heat tool to get her apart. I don't have anything like that, so I used hot water for the smaller parts (hair, ribbons, vision) and a hair dryer for the legs. you need to soften the plastic/melt the glue to pop things free! I held hair dryer on her butt against the connection point of the legs for 30-60 seconds on highest heat and lowest power, then wiggled the leggies until it cooled down. repeat a few more times until I could twist them and pop them free. unfortunately, the shoe wouldn't come off with either method, so I ended up having to cut it off with a knife. as long as I line it up and glue it on straight, it should be fine. hopefully 😅 the leggies were really stubborn, but with careful heating (while trying not to bend any of the super thin pieces, like the skirt. which also got heated up in the process) I managed to gently twist them off eventually.
the leggies!! they're free!!!!!
now she's ready for painting!

i did the first coat of paint on the legs and a few of the details on a twitch stream to try to test out a painting setup for future painting of figures, as well as test if my VOD tracking I tried to set up worked.....both kind of went wrong 😅 I also broke a few things along the way.
I tried to set up using a tripod with my DSLR camera for high quality video stream. I downloaded a thing enabling me to use it as a webcam. my large tripod was too big to fit in my tiny desk area, so I switched to a smaller tabletop one. somehow, the screw to that tripod broke off in my camera as I was screwing it on.....I have no clue how to remove it. I can no longer use a tripod 😭 I had to set my camera on my desk and have a side angle that made it hard to see anything I was doing on stream. I also had to keep my hands in one place when I like to move them around as I work. it was quite uncomfortable, haha.
the lighting I had set up was too bright, but it was my only option. it's a photography light box with its own built in lighting—very white and very bright. I folded the box so all the flaps were folded in except the one with the lights on it. I had that one sticking straight up at the back and placed a plastic cover over the folded part to paint on. it helped stream see and i could adjust the setting on my camera to keep it from being overexposed, but since my eyes don't have camera settings, I couldn't even tell where I was putting white paint because it was washing it out too much. when I inspected it in another light away from the overpowering white one, I realized I had more paint on it than I thought.

it wasn't the best setup, but it wasn't the worst. I added some silly little things on screen to make it more fun 😆

I managed to finish the first leg coat, do the little hair wrap things (not sure what their called. the white and gold things) and a couple small details on her clothing (fixed some of the gold lines for example because they weren't fully finished)
unfortunately, my VOD tracking didn't work so my video got dmca flagged and twitch decided it shouldn't be published so I decided to just delete it. my stream died after the first 20 minutes survived because my stream died and none of the music in that got flagged, but I didn't actually paint anything within that time because I was trying to make sure my setup was working decently. the painting lasted around 2 hours I believe. then my camera died!
I have decided not to stream the rest of her painting and do it in my spare time. I will work on fixing the VOD tracking. the camera setup is too much of a hassle and I can't charge it while it's in use. I didn't know what else to try until I found (and ordered) a cool overhead mini lamp that also holds your phone so I can basically have a movable desk light and/or use my phone as a webcam for streaming or record video for a time-lapse at the same time! so look forward to that!
between that first painting attempt and the next session, I got another figure in the mail. this one is a mini resin figure and I will have a separate post for her! (link soon)
back to painting ayaka.
my cool desk lamp came in the mail! you can find it here (not sponsored/affiliated! just like the cool lamp. i got the MINI version because small work area) i played with my streaming stuff and turns out they added an easier way to vod track the way i want, either before or after my failed attempt, i'm not sure. i found a way to stream my phone camera to my streamlabs! things are easy to set up for figure painting streams!


I added some details to her clothes and cleaned up some small spots. I added flowers and other small details to kind of match her original outfit. for some reason I decided to add some makeup to her. her mouth looked a little funny so I added some lip gloss and try to make her smile a little more. not sure if that came out well or not 😅 to finish, I did a thin layer of some blue in her hair to give the solid blobs of plastic some subtle variation and also slapped on some sparkly metallic paint to brighten it up a little.
the umbrella was way top plain, so I painted the under side pink and tried my best to paint cherry blossoms on top. i've never been top great at draeimg or painting flowers, so they're a little odd, but it's good enough.
I don't really care for the flowers that came with it, so I planned to add some mini fake flowers. in the end I decided to just use them as well instead of throwing them away, since I needed something to keep the fake flowers more stable. they are a decent filler. the fake paper flowers add a bit more to it, making it feel more full. I have more flowers coming in the mail, so I may add a but more.
I gave up on the plastic base she sits on that goes on the top of the glass. I couldn't get it to stay in place or stick to glue, so she's just sitting inside the glass now, directly on top the flowers, which actually makes her more stable!
I didn't go too adventurous for my first practice paint, but she's better than she was, and I learned a bit from this that I can now apply to 3d prints!
and she's now complete and ready to go live on my shelf!


#arts#my art#this counts are art right? haha#genshin impact#genshin#ayaka#kamisato ayaka#genshin art#i hate that there's a 10 image limit!!! i wanted to show more!#i need to find places to put figures....this will be a challenge haha.....i have so many planned to print and paint....#im not aure if im good at writing on-going blog posts step by step but it was kinda fun#probably wont do this for 3d figures because i want to stream or record them to male speed paint videos
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"Do you know something?"
#PLEASE IGNORE HOW HIS DAGGER IS IN HIS PANTS POCKET#I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING#BUT IT WAS TOO LATE TO CHANGE IT#anyway#sorry for abusing red/blue color palette AGAIN#it's like the only right answer OTZ#this counts as my piece for act 5/6 <3#the vibes in this conversation were. not fun! (VERY positive)#i think it's fun to imagine sif wired and ready to fight SOMETHING. anything#even loop#loop voice haha! i'm in danger!#isat#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#isat siffrin#isat spoilers#isat fanart#in stars and time siffrin#isat spoiler#isat act 5#isat act 5 spoilers#artilite#artilite art
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if you met an alternate reality version of yourself that was better than you in every single way would that be fucked up or what lol
#my art#dca fandom#daycare attendant#moondrop#sundrop#sunnydrop#<- technically its an oc but they're purposefully drawn to resemble the dca's decal art so idk if it even counts as an oc lol#i really enjoy the concept of an accurate dca being face to face with a version of themselves that isnt 'ugly' or 'weird'#the image of the person you should've been but that you can never achieve. and they're standing right there in front of you#(but then eventually you see them fall into the same tragedy that you did. and now you need to be there for them#in the same ways that nobody was there for you)#if i could write and/or had the attention span required for a comic series i would never shut up about these two btw#newmoonAU#<- haha ignore that :) smiles
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updated my design for penelope a little :3
#i did this doodle at like 4 am last night and then it just became this#this is like. freshly married penelope . she has not yet gone thru the horrors#also . yes she is trans. haha. what gave it away… i was being very subtle…#the odyssey#the odyssey fanart#epic the musical#epic the musical fanart#penelope of ithaca#penelope the odyssey#odypen#kinda ?#odysseus#hes here im counting it#i would love 2 draw her in pink but. it just never looks right?#i think it must be the shade or smthn maybe im going too light#my art
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it’s mid but whatever the silence of the lambs x longlegs poster!!
heavily inspired by @/godsplatter’s hannibal x longlegs posters
#does this count as art?#idk i didn’t draw anything#but it’s my design#haha will graham#i’m super tired right now#longlegs#horror#horror movies#horror poster#the silence of the lambs
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Bit of a funny year for art! Definitely some feast and famine months in there, with June having basically nothing shifting over to July which was my most prolific artfight season to date haha - a bit more style experimentation this year than in years past which was fun!
#art summary#art summary 2024#I don't think I even did one of these for 2023...#maybe I should do one retroactively or something lol#handshake meming with aseuki where we don't have any pieces of our own ocs in there but we did each others#I like how nicely that sonic comic fits into the little december blurb haha#scraped right into that month in the final 24 hours but it counts!#doodles#my art
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um. billy is breaking it down?
...what? what do you mean that's not what it's called??
i realized that i don't draw things related to bbu NEARLY enough knowing that I've Had Enough of You was my number 1 song on spotify last year. 417 times just in half a year on JUST spotify, if you were wondering. that's a bit over 23 hours.
i think i'm gonna try to do little simplifications to dimitri because; despite how much i like him its hell to draw. why is it the only character with gradients (that i can think of off the top of my head)? i get the chimera would be more complicated, but does he need gradients? (not intended to be an insult to the design btw; i just feel having that much going on might be a bit jarring visually, and hell to replicate)
#silverware's art#billie bust up#bbu#bbu fantoccio#bbu barnaby#bbu billie#bbu dimitri#bbu fanart#do i tag elaine n aristotle like. properly?? do the doodles count?? idk.#ooh fun fact: i drew fanto with like. 1 glance at an image of him for refrence the rest was memory#basically i drew these from very little refrence to there was a ref right beside the character#except for the doodles.#nother fun fact: i've never drawn elaine before that little doodle (i like her. i just haven't felt motivated to)#haha content you didn't sign up for. :]#i'm sorry. but there are so many colours in dimitri's pallet it's like. kinda scary to me- (/hj)
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(@watchful-lady-of-shadows) Osseth had tried to fit in front of the camera, she really did! But it seemed no matter when she tried the camera and device it was attached to just couldn't capture her full form. Dismayed but not beaten, she decided to just stick her large head in front of it as much as possible. All the Sableye would see is her large snout and parts of her silver plates, but it would have to do.
“Hello!” she greeted with a chirp. “It’s been quite some time since I’ve spoken to mortal pokemon of other realms! I see you are taking care of an egg. I do hope the little one is well! I must ask, however, how is it you plan to care for the little one? Have you gathered the general materials necessary to care for a child?”
OF COURSE I HAVE! I GATHER FOOD FOR MYSELF EVERY DAY, I'VE GOT A NICE SAFE SHELTER, WHAT MORE COULD THEY NEED?
[Conny's smile drops into a face of contemplation, quickly turning to something of horror as he glances around at the dumpster he lives in.]
...
ACTUALLY... NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT...
I. MAYBE. AM. LACKING. IN THINGS. THAT I SHOULD. HAVE. GOTTEN. MAYBE. JUST A LITTLE. I...
DON'T KNOW WHAT JUNIOR'S GOING TO HATCH INTO. I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT. EXACTLY. THEY NEED.
BUT I'M SURE I'LL HAVE PLENTY OF TIME AFTER THEY HATCH TO GET EVERYTHING THEY COULD POSSIBLY NEED!!!!
... right?
#my art#pokeask blog#pokemon ask blog#ask#answer#conny sableye#the egg#Congrats Osseth for being the first asker to actually be drawn when i answer an ask! although its just her head lmao.#though that's actually more of her face than is supposed to be visible haha#Conny..... Conny's heart is in the right place and thats what counts... unless the egg actually hatches. then that's not gonna be enough.#sometimes he has moments like here where he realizes how woefully underprepared he is but. as much as his heart is in the right place#his brain is not.
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Epic the Musical Mouseford Production
You know what time it is, mushing hyperfixations together to fully brainrot over both, yippeeeee :D
So this is like the The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals thing I made sometime back, but now I have concept sketches that I didn't forget to send this time ^^
How this works is I didn't exactly assign the Epic characters to the Mouseford characters I felt would fit them the most (altho I definitely did that), I also took into account my headcanons for their acting chops and their vocal range in my mind. That and just like Epic when auditions opened, this production has gender-blind roles. So just bear that in mind when you see these sketches, I'll explain my thought process after the pictures are all shown :]
Okay so first up with have Dina as Odysseus :D reasoning behind this besides the fact that I didn't feel anyone else fit his role (and I didn't want it to be a Thea Sister), was the fact that Dina doesn't really get a lot when she shows up, especially in terms of personality. She's athletic, a bit chipper, tomboyish, but that's about it. We don't get much personality from her in the books. Soooo I went and used the power of headcanons here-- in this case, her life in little Whale Island would have given her a sense of craftiness and "can't just buy everything you need because sometimes they don't have it", and let's not forget, she was the first Whale Island resident to get a scholarship in Mouseford Academy. She clearly had to work to get there, and that would've meant a lot of studying, a lot of hard work to make it to that point, so who's to say she wouldn't give the characters a lot of thought during prep for auditions? And at least to me, she'd have the versatile vocal range to handle the highs and lows of Odysseus's songs so :3 if nothing else, Plotfur maybe found her take on him charming.
There is an element of visual storytelling in how Dina styles her hair at any given point in Odysseus's story :3 When she needs to change it (usually just removing a hair tie), she does it during a transition or when the audience's view of her is blocked.
Next we have Paulina playing the role of Athena (Athena) badass in the arena, unmatched and the short queen of all the best strategies we've seen-- yes Paulina is smol. In fact, I imagine she's the shortest of the Thea Sisters if not the entire cast. As a result, she does has platform heels under her dress and often stands on the background platform when talking to Odysseus!Dina, with a few exceptions. Now, why isn't Violet Athena? Simple, I think her mezzosoprano-contralto ass would shrivel up and die before she even lands one of Athena's many, many high notes, and that's not even taking into account that the purpur's social anxiety partially means she's currently fighting an uphill battle just to be able to project her singing voice. I imagine Paulina is a soprano, so she'd be able to handle the aggressively soprano role, and her experience does give her a leg up in performing, even though she smol. She does have to do a Violet impression to get into character, which becomes a meme among the girls. (Her and Dina unintentionally posing like that Athena and Odysseus painting, though, that becomes a school-wide reaction image meme.)
Fun fact she is only just barely taller than Dina when she's in her Athena costume complete with the heels--
Now, Eury!Pam. Rather self-explanatory, I think: Pam gives alto vibes, she's often the straight man to the craziness of the girls in general, has a lack of impulse control like Eury, and I dunno maybe she found his character fascinating on account of how much of a hot mess he is (/pos). For the most part, she's basically herself but less comedic (and maybe a little bloodlust-y for Full Speed Ahead and Survive) when she's playing Eury. She and Dina have in fact done the macarena to Luck Runs Out before.
Nicky is Aeolus, also rather self-explanatory. I imagine she's got a high-pitched gremlin voice, and she's got that mischievous streak Aeolus has, so all she really needed to do to prep for the role was to learn how to lighten her voice and make it more airy for KYFC. She wanted to come in dabbing when the crew open the bag, but it was too comedic for such a dramatic scene, even for Professor Plotfur. At least she's given the opportunity to be a little shit giving Poseidon (whoever's playing him, I haven't decided yet) trouble when 600 Strike inevitably rears its head.
Vic is Hermes. I don't think I need to explain much else. He does do the seagull laugh, but it took a bit of practice for him to get the laugh down. Either way, he becomes Hermes' muse every time he's on stage and he is having the time of his life. He just wishes he can fly, too.
Now while Violet didn't get the role of Athena because her vocal cords would rather drown in cola than even try My Goodbye (let alone We'll Be Fine), she did in fact get the role of the prophet Tiresias :3 she's alto enough for it, her resting bitch face is perfect for Tiresias's melancholy, and she and Dina get to have some dance choreography sprinkled in. She did have to adapt to the limited vision her costume allows her, but she was more than happy to practice navigating the stage with the handicap, and hey, the staff is of the perfect length to be used as a cane. Because I loved szin's No Longer You animatic way too much, I now think Dina showed the video to Violet and the both of them decided that Vi would play a crazy Tiresias for one of the performing nights. They even made up custom choreography for that one night so Violet could be as unhinged as possible and have that reflect in their dance.
Oh, and Tiresias!Violet has feather earrings, which are a nod to the mythological Tiresias supposedly inventing augury, the fortunetelling method in which you observe the behaviors of birds to predict the future. Just a cool thing I wanted to add on top of my very Gigi!Tiresias-coded Tiresias costume to make it more unique to me haha :3
And finally (for now, until I draw more), anyone with minor roles who don't have a lot of screentime get to do some of the practical effects on the stage, like the translucent banner flag things they run around with onstage to emulate wind, dressing up in creepy Greek chorus ghosts for Underworld, and maneuvering winion puppets whenever needed. For the most part, their tunics will either be a neutral color or black, depending on the roles they're playing (practical effects ideally black, ensemble characters neutral colors). Violet gets to keep her Tiresias tunic while she's a techie because the tunic itself doesn't stand out that much besides the length-- it's the layers on top of it that tend to stand out and really make her look like Tiresias.
Alrighty that's it, and uh, for now have this as a treat for reading all of that brain vomit haha
It's a crack idea at best, but it would be fun if Vi had the vocal confidence to channel the very angy pissbaby fork-wielding god of the sea. Something about the very reserved, very demure and mindful purpur going apeshit scratches a side of my brain I don't get to indulge in that often haha
Still not sure, probably won't happen as I said, but that's assuming I find a better character to play as Poseidon.
Alrighty until next time, gonna take a shower o<-<
#geronimo stilton#thea stilton#thea sisters#epic the musical#actor au#(that's what this basically is right?)#art#my art#doodles#didn't have the space to draw it and also i forgor but some of these guys have multiple roles#paulina is also playing anticlea alongside athena which is fun#no spoilers yet but as of me writing this craig has the most roles with three not counting ensemble#anyway ye hi been in project trenches both for school and for my adhd brain being unable to decide#here's to hoping i get some shit done because it's wip infinity over here haha#and some of them are coming along pretty well all things considered#sooooo ye :3
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Jackalope Daily Day 302!
#Jackalope#jackalope milgram#milgram jackalope#milgram fanart#does this even count as fan art lol#jackalopedaily#jackalope hotel would you enter?#i would#i would probably be robbed#BUT WHO CARES I WILL GIVE ALL WORLDLY POSSESSIONS TO SILLY JACKALOPE!#I used the ibispaint material for the building i cannot draw that#satan's symbol is my watermark thing#hey they can't copyright this#right?#recommendation of the dayyy#Visual novel recommendation!#play SEEC games but for specifics#Tasokare Hotel for starters#haha see what i did there jackalope hotel tasokare hotel hhahahaha im so funny#you die you end up in milgram#its not so bad!!#turns to the burning hell fire that is T3 Milgram#i forgot his horns again oh my god#its ok they're fake anyway LOL#yes i did just smack a doodlealope onto a building and shaded it do i wnat to hear anything about it?#not unless its silly XD
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Traintober Day 7:Refreshment

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL LESBIAN DAY!! Have some girlfriends on a date 💜🧡
Bonus their server/waiter/Nia’s little brother:

In my human au, I hc Stuart/Peter Sam would occasionally help the refreshment lady on his free time and I made him a bartender in one of my other aus. He totally helped with the matchmaking and setting up the date. 💚💚
#ttte#traintober 2023#traintober#theres like seven minutes till midnight it still counts right#ttte nia#ttte kana#kana#peter sam#ttte peter sam#ttte stuart#my art#my artwork#my art <3#my art stuff#drawing#doodle#sketches#yeah my Traintober art is gotta be like a day or so late each time I’ll probably squish Douglas day with day 10 haha I’ll post bird tomorro#But yeah Stuart’s the love whisperer of the gang and what you don’t see in the background are Stanley andreas and Falcon helping out#It’s been awhile I’ve drew him hands 🙌 r hard but have him but also sapphic wlw/ace nia x lesbian kana for the win!! 🧡💖💝💕💓💗💞#Narrow guage nia adventures and Stuart’s got a retro vintage waiter look he’s got wheelies skates on 🤩🤩
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I really should stop looking down on my traditional sketches because I can't emulate this kind of feeling in my digital art.
#the left pic is old from 2018 but god damn!!! i still love it so much???#shading in traditional is a hit or miss for me but it's so therapeutic#the right was from yesterday HAHA#I was actually sketching Kii and his demon LOOL SO HELLOO THAT'S THAT HE'S GETTING CORNERED IN A GAS STATION BATHROOM!!!#my god the tiddies on em!!! also... kii not supposed to be naked#i wanted to redraw it digitally so i kept him naked so i can draw clothes on top#i have still yet to find a brush that could emulate the same kind of messy linework my pencil sketches have#i have all these sketchbooks i haven't finished and it's been YEARS#Like i hate this shift in my head where if i'm not drawing a fully illustrated digital piece#then any other art thing i'm doing doesn't count as “real” art-- this only applies to me#and i gotta stop thinking that bc art is supposed to be fun!#regardless of how big or small the project is??#anyway wooow i love traditional art LOOL#killamonart#killaocs#kii#oc#sketch
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5, 11, and 30 for the artist ask meme!
5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself
It's increased over time! Well, actually, it's been a bell curve, kind of. Maybe more like a roller coaster lol. Obviously before I was online I wasn't sharing any of the stuff I drew; I drew for about seven years before posting anything - casually, for my own entertainment - and then for a while I was posting almost everything in some form or another; if I didn't post the original doodle, it was because I cleaned it digitally! But I got pretty burnt out on that haha - it does still come and go in cycles lol. Nowadays I probably keep back about 30% of what I draw? Although it can be hard to quantify - if you upload to an audience of zero, is it actually online? Haha ♪ Or an audience of one! Just because it's shared using the internet as a middle man, does that count as "posting"? :0 I don't know! I think it's an interesting question tho!
11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what
Yes! It really depends on what I'm drawing; my go-tos are always Reddit story readings since I don't have to think too hard about picking one, they last a while, and they keep my auditory brain occupied while my hands and eyes are busy. For a couple days of Requestober, especially the Portal/Stanley Parable days but also the song prompt, I was listening to themed stuff - GLaDOS lines, Narrator lines, the aforementioned song haha. I hate having to stop to pick the next thing! It makes editing my footage harder and throws off my flow :P
30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated
A lot of my Law Abiding Citizen stuff probably - LAC is such a good series!! I wish more people would see it/were still into it. We're few, and I was late to party, but my love still burns! If I had to pick just one thing tho, I think it'd have to go to one of my Just Desserts comics - I cried while drawing it initially, and I still think Charm's transition from her smiling-crying face to her angry-crying face is so well done ♥
#Woah an original post#Ask#Ask me#Thank you! :D I had to think about these! Especially the first and last one!#I've been trying to find a good balance of drawing for myself/allowing myself space to mess up while also being proud of things#It can actually be hard to thread that needle lol - sometimes I'm like ''Well it's alright :/ But this bit is good! But out of context....'#It can be hard to be judicious! I really do want to show off a lot of it but I also want to leave room for myself!#I've been working on an all behind-the-scenes project over the course of October :3c#I'm almost ready to start compiling it! I'm buying myself a bit more time haha ♪#And of the audience of none thing - that behind the scenes project? Technically it's online right now - but on my Patreon lol#Tree falls in a forest and all that haha - it's a secret for as long as anyone else dictates! It's interesting :3#Plus there's also the thing of showing your online friends but not the wider public - where's the line?#How many people have to have seen something for it to count as being ''posted online''?#Even still - I always draw for myself haha ♪ I just also happen to share a lot lol but that's kind of a side effect of being pleased pfft#I have gotten so dry on things to listen to haaaghhh - I know I have a bajillion podcasts at my disposal but my brain is so pickyyyy#It has to be low-stress and not a bummer but interesting but not Too interesting that it becomes Inspiring- pfbtl >:P#I'm actually listening to something right now as well lol - I listen to music when I write and stories when I draw :D#I can't get 'em mixed - brain is picky lol (But really it's because it engages different parts of my brain that need attention)#It was also hard to answer the last one since I still kinda consider myself a fairly small artist haha - I like a lot of my art!#Even my old stuff :D Sometimes even especially my old stuff!#What counts as underrated when a lot of my stuff trends towards being on the quiet side? :0#That said I've been absolutely delighted by the Property of Hate and Portal turnout ahh <3 <3 Makes me happy to see them being enjoyed!!#Anyway sorry for going so long apparently I had Thoughts™ lol
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𝐡𝐨𝐛𝐛𝐲 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐫 | 𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐨
summary: nobody can keep up with your growing list of hobbies, except fernando.
pairing: fernando alonso x brazilian!fem!reader
content warning: fluff and humor. explicit language.
from, serene: requested by and written for @loomiscorpse 🤍 i promised that i would write this for you in july and i finally found the time to fulfill it! this is how i learned fernando has a back tat. what rock have i been living under? happy reading, babes xxx
(in case i'm m.i.a., there's a category 5 hurricane that's looks pretty serious. i'm probably going to have a power outage. prayers to anyone else in the path of the storm, evacuate if you're on the west coast, and stay safe.)
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igstory • yourinstagram just uploaded!


[caption1; sip and paint with the ladies 👩🏽🎨🎨 carmenmmundt kellypiquet][caption2; for my first painting, this is good right?]
alexandrasaintmleux: i'll put it in a gallery 🤩 alexandrasaintmleux: i can't believe i'm friends with the best artist of our time 😌 yourinstagram: alex pleaseee omg 😳🤭 yourinstagram: you realize that means you think i'm better than claude monet right ? alexandrasaintmleux: ,,,second best artist of our time yourinstagram: 😆😆😆
fernandoalo_official: looks beautiful 😍 yourinstagram: you really think so??? fernandoalo_official: yes i like what you did with the colors and brush strokes of course yourinstagram: what detailed compliments meu bem 😂
carmenmmundt: i still don't believe that you've never painted before 🤨 carmenmmundt: you did so well !!!!!! yourinstagram: thank you my love 🥰 yourinstagram: i think i am going to keep painting. it was very fun! carmenmmundt: you should! you're quite good at it :)
instagram • yourinstagram



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yourinstagram encontro noturno em cores 🖼️
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user1: ptbr to eng translation "date night in color 🖼️"
user2: wow!!! you improved so much already! have you been taking lessons?
➥ yourinstagram: thank you! the only lessons i'm learning are from youtube haha ➥ yourinstagram: and i have painted every day since i started! ➥ user3: you definitely have a natural talent for this! and a lot of potential!!! ➥ user4: it's taken me years to develop a minimal understanding of color theory and shadows. she's done it in two weeks 😕
user5: i know leonardo hates that he didn't paint this 😩😩😩
➥ user6: he's rolling in his grave for sureeee 🙂↕️ ➥ user7: bitch why tf would a ninja turtle be mad about this ☠️ ➥ user8: leonardo DA VINCI YOU UNEDUCATED CUR ➥ user7: my fault forgot the turtle wasn't the only person named leo 🫣🫠 ➥ user8: HOW DO YOU FORGET THE MAN WHO PAINTED THE MONA LISA ⁉️⁉️⁉️
pepemartiofficial: i loved doing art in school! i can teach you a few things if you want 😁😁😁
➥ yourinstagram: you mean primary school? which was like last year for you? i think i'll pass garoto 🥴 ➥ fernandoalo_official: josep maria marti sobrepepa don't piss me off. ➥ fernandoalo_official: test me and you can say goodbye to a formula one seat. ➥ user9: ain't no way pepe just tried to step to fernando's girl who's TEN !!! years older than him ➥ pepemartiofficial: shhh i can be mature for her 🤤 ➥ fernandoalo_official: count your days 🥱
carlossainz55: the painting is really good, you made the water look so realistic!
➥ yourinstagram: obrigada carlitos! ➥ carlossainz55: where's fernando's painting 😈 ➥ yourinstagram: it was very good! but he did not want me to post a photo of it :((( ➥ fernandoalo_official: it was very ugly carlos 🙄 ➥ yourinstagram: it was not that bad i just could not tell that it was supposed to be a tiger and not a house cat that was struck by lightning 😅 ➥ carlossainz55: i will pay to see this painting 🤣🤣🤣
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igstory • astonmartinf1 just uploaded!


[caption1; admin was just forcibly handed bear coasters ??? she said they remind her of lance 🐻][caption2; the crochet culprit is on to her next project!]
user: lance bear agenda still going strong 💪
lance_stroll: i want bear coasters 😞 astonmartinf1: meet me downstairs, she gave me extras to hand out to the team lance_stroll: she's the best 🤩🤩🤩 lance_stroll: see you in 5?
user: DUDE she's onto clothes already??? how?!!!
user: admin i need you to send me photos of that sketchbook 👺🤲🏻 user: i need her patterns admin i'm not playing around astonmartinf1: lol get blocked loser 💀
instagram • fernandoalo_official



liked by carlossainz55, lance_stroll, yourinstagram and 234,586 others
fernandoalo_official there is yarn and hooks in my car. this has gone too far.
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yourinstagram: you make a man a shirt with the materials HE bought for you and it's a problem. ungrateful behavior nano 😤
➥ fernandoalo_official: the shirt is very nice i even posed for a picture. all i ask is for no hooks to be left in the cupholders? ➥ yourinstagram: can we compromise and i leave them in the glove box 🥺
user10: let me get this straight: you crochet for a month and suddenly you become a fashion designer?
➥ yourinstagram: not a month, three weeks* i have been crocheting ➥ user11: oh fuck off- how are you good at everything 😩😩😩 ➥ yourinstagram: i am not! and i still cannot make a granny square no matter how hard i try to ☹️ ➥ user12: you don't need to know how to make a granny square when you can make actual pieces of clothing!!!
landonorris: may i have something crocheted too?
➥ yourinstagram: what would you like landinho 😊 ➥ landonorris: may i have a beanie? or a sweater?? ➥ georgerussell: ooooh i'd like a beanie too! ➥ francisca.cgomes: i want that top you're wearing! or something similar!!!! ➥ lance_stroll: what about earmuffs? ➥ lilymhe: a cardigan would be so nice ➥ charlesleclerc: i want a sweater!!! ➥ fernandoalo_official: leave her alone you greedy children 👹 ➥ yourinstagram: ignore him! text me what you all want with inspiration photos and i will let you know!!!
messages • sebastian -> fernando

igstory • yourinstagram just uploaded!




[caption1; hobby update >>>][caption2; to the woman at the craft store who put me onto oil paints...you saved my life][caption3; the wag crochet requests are almost finished!][caption4; first pottery class! had a really fun time :)]
user: i-i need to sit down👄 user: how do you even have time to do all of this?
user: i feel like i've never taken my hobbies seriously after seeing this
user: ffs how long have you been doing pottery? user: it's hard to learn at first but it's worth it if you stay committed 🫶🏽
instagram • yourinstagram



liked by charlesleclerc, lilymhe, francolapinto, and 192,037 others
yourinstagram que divertido! thrown, painted, and fired by me 🌸
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user13: this is a reminder that there's always somebody out there doing what you love better than you 😒
➥ user14: wasn't she JUST at her first pottery class? and she already has a set of dishware 😨
user15: i feel like i have to apologize for even attempting pottery
user16: i would hate to give my gift after her on birthdays and christmas 😬😬😬
➥ user17: valid take. she can make custom clothes, paintings, and ceramics??? i might as well not even show up 🤦🏻♀️
kellypiquet: where do you even find the time to do this?
➥ yourinstagram: i have not slept for more than five hours in a very long time. it also distracts me when nano is away so, i keep myself busy. ➥ kellypiquet: please take better care of yourself! the clay will be there after you sleep and i'm sure fernando would like you to sleep too. ➥ fernandoalo_official: 8 hours at least mi amor ❤️ ➥ yourinstagram: fiiiiine 😞
lance_stroll: bring the domino set next time! i want to learn how to play!!!
➥ yourinstagram: i will make you cry if we play dominoes 🤫
user18: you need to start an etsy shop or smth? i think anybody would buy something from you!
➥ yourinstagram: if i do that, i'm afraid it would stop being a hobby and become a job. i don't want to lose the love i have for them :) user19: you could do limited releases? or just list a few items at a time? yourinstagram: i guess that's true. i don't think i will though, i didn't start my hobbies to make money. it's just fun for me 😁
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igstory • fernandoalo_official just uploaded!


[caption; onto the next obsession]
user: damn you didn't lie about the entire botantical collection 😧 user: she's crazy user: i respect her grind though
user: and she made them look like actual boquets 😍 user: why didn't i think of that???
yourinstagram: they are not obsessions. yourinstagram: the proper term is hobby, we have talked about this nano 😒 fernandoalo_official: do you want the vespa or the bonsai…🤨 yourinstagram: both por favor! and get the porsche 911 kit while you are there 😚😚😚😚😚😚
user: she crocheted her own cover up dress user: i love women 🙂↕️
instagram • yourinstagram




liked by fernandoalo_official, kellypiquet, landonorris, and 317,940 others
yourinstagram um hobby? ok. quatro hobbies ao mesmo tempo? não repita meus erros 🤕
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user20: ptbr to eng translation "one hobby? ok. four hobbies at the same time/once? do not repeat my mistakes 🤕"
➥ user21: thank u translator woman ➥ user22: thank u translator woman ➥ gabrielbortoleto_: thank u translator woman ➥ user24: one of these things is not like the others 🧐
landonorris: can't wait till it gets chilly in monaco 😌
➥ landonorris: the only thing i'm going to be photographed in is my crochet beanie and sweater ➥oscarpiastri: i'm surprised you're not wearing it now since you're perpetually cold ➥ landonorris: i didn't want to bring it in my luggage in case it's the time i lose my luggage 🤓 ➥ oscarpiastri: wow…that's smart ➥ landonorris: why do you sound so surprised 🤨
lilymhe: i see you learned how to make granny squares 😆
➥ yourinstagram: it took me three whole days to make one 🤧 ➥ lilymhe: damn 💀 ➥ yourinstagram: i am not lying when i say making that first granny square was harder than making your cardigan 😮💨
fernandoalo_official: is it weird if i feel proud of you?
➥ yourinstagram: i think it is something to be proud of :) ➥ fernandoalo_official: well i am very proud of you mi amor 😘 ➥ yourinstagram: 🥰😚😚❤️❤️❤️
user25: those paintings!!!! woah, you're like a serious artist now 😨😳😱
➥ user26: fr! you can see her own unique style clearly in these! ➥ yourinstagram: you all are too sweet! it took me a while to switch from reference painting into creating my own art pieces! ➥ alexandrasaintmleux: i wasn't joking when i said i want to put your work in a gallery 🤭🥱 ➥ yourinstagram: alex pleaseee 😖
user28: what are you going to do next? book binding LMAO
➥ yourinstagram: you are right! nano is out buying the supplies for me now 😁 ➥ user28: i was joking 😟 ➥ yourinstagram: and after that i think i am going to learn how to make a cute scrapbook!
© httpsserene - do not repost. photos used are from pinterest.
#f1 x reader#f1 smau#f1 x poc!reader#fernando alonso x reader#fernando alonso x you#fernando alonso smau#fernando alonso imagine#fernando alonso fanfic#f1 fluff#fernando alonso x poc!reader#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#fernando alonso x y/n#serene’s chapters.#⋆⭒˚。⋆. series special: formula 1#♡ ༘*.゚ love interest: fa.
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— phaethetically in love !
premise. belle thinks her brother is the most oblivious person in sixth street. the reason? one: because his (super obvious) crush on you is practically the worst kept secret in new eridu, and two: because he can't even see that said crush is reciprocated! good thing he has one (1) amazing, wonderful, nosy sister to help him out, yeah?
or, belle thinks the two of you are a prime example of an s tier romance movie; and she really wants to skip to the final arc already.
pairing. wise x gn!reader.
warnings: kinda ooc wise (i just started the game), wise is a loser (lovingly), belle is an instigator (proudly), comedy, facepalm moments.
a/n: for @vxnuslogy and @milksnake-tea bc yes wise kissers yes
MY (rlly cool btw 🥺) MASTERLIST || INBOX !
“you're in love with [name], aren't you?”
like all siblings in the world—or what's left of it, belle schemes.
(against wise, of course. obviously.)
her brother bursts into a mess immediately, nearly spilling his cup ramen all over his new shirt, chopsticks sticking out. laughing nervously. general chop would not be proud. “who told you that? i mean— haha, who said that, belle?”
his sister rolls her eyes. “me, myself. i.” she emphasizes, leaning her elbows against the table and putting her palms together; the grin she wears right now is so serene, but not in the angelic, nice way. belle smiles and wise finally thinks, oh. my sister may need to book herself to the closest self-help guru in new eridu.
“i have reason to believe that you, my dearest brother, are in love with [name].”
her voice goes up an octave at the last bit, leading wise to stuff her mouth with potato chips. already, heads have turned. “mff.”
“keep your voice down! and stop broadcasting it to everyone here-”
“what, i am right, aren't i? they clearly like you back, so why haven't you confessed yet?”
“keep. your. voice. down.” wise says, and belle's shit eating grin only widens as she sees her brother's ears tinged with pink. “and... how did you even know that?” he asks, mortified.
“well, one: because it's obvious—like, have you seen how obvious you are?” belle huffs, taking a bite of the potato chip with force (personal grudges are involved). “and two, because they like you back, dummy!”
because when belle sees the two of you together, it's like wise focuses on no one else. you are the center of his world—and he is just being pulled to bask in your light. his eyes soften like they melt only for you, and wise looks like all he is is, all he wants to be, is to belong with you.
(and, wise likes to stare at you for ungodly amounts of time. belle even caught him staring when you were petting a cat by the street and decided to name the stray ‘wise’; courtesy of him, apparently. the cat literally just had grey fur.
“wise.”
“hm?”
“you're practically spawning heart eyes now.”)
it's sickening. (in a oh my god my brother is in love kind of way, mind you.)
“so!” belle says, a devilish sparkle in her eyes. “allow your dearest sister to help you out, 'kay?”
wise nearly coughs up blood.
“what?!”
so at present, belle compiles her (hastily written) list of romantic moments you and wise have shared. she's not surprised—the number can be counted on one hand. diabolical, disappointing, world-ending! she resists the urge to cough up blood.
first, a coff cafe date with tin man's help: a fail. tin man's wingman capabilities were very superb, but she never heard the end of it when wise was lecturing her about how tin man kept sending over heart shaped desserts and little fortune cookies. the fortune cookies in question which said ‘you can do it!’ and a latte with art of caricature tin man making a heart. (you were very confused). belle thought it was motivating. wise thought it was mortifying.
next, even instilling help from fairy to calculate statistics about what event would you two be likely to be together. fairy said, and belle quotes: “probably never. that kind of pining's for the long run, with the other master's current experience. give it a year or six, master.”
so, she's currently face-palming.
did her brother really have zero game? why were the two of you just dancing around each other?! she's tried everything—from letting you two spend more time with each other in commissions, her inviting you over more to leave you to chat with her brother, and even the entirety of sixth street has lent their aid! how were you two not dating yet?!
“didn't they go on an arcade date at random play yesterday?” belle mutters. “that should've increased your progress by a long mile, bro! even general chop said you two were really, really close in the noodle shop....”
just what was she going to do now? at this rate, her brother would be relationshipless in no time! in fairy's words again, it would be phaethetic. and that would be a phaethal blow on her pride.
“...master, i said no such thing.”
“well, now you did.”
“The Ethereal Reckoning,” there's a pep in your step, the boxes full of movie DVDs in your arms as you walk back to the movie store. it was heavy, but at least you got to walk with the grey-haired proxy beside you. “That movie was great! Thanks for recommending it to me.”
Sporting a dopey, lovesick grin in response, wise nods at that, content to listen to your voice. it was actually belle's idea to let you lend movies you like over so the two of you could talk about it back and forth. wise would need to (begrudgingly) treat her to a bowl of ramen later on.... she saved him—he probably wouldn't even be talking to you for this long at this point, let alone hang out with you without her. for someone so nosy, he guesses his sister was a pretty good wingwoman.
“the main character was pretty similar to billy, you know?” you ramble on as wise listens. “i mean, because they were an android too, and...”
he finds that he's content to listen to anything you say, really. (right now he doesn't really know what you're saying, something about a horror ethereal movie, but you could just tell him anything and he would listen).
“i feel like the heroine's death was unnecessary, though.” you sigh, “too much tension just for it to end like that? how anticlimactic.”
your voice was so nice, so warm and easy to listen to, and wise can't even say anything to retort, simply staring with a growing (lovesick) smile on his face. talking to people was hard work, and talking to you? it might just make him combust.
“...ise? wise?”
“ah, huh?” he snaps out of his trance, only to find you mere inches away from his face, the only thing keeping you apart the boxes full of movies he's carrying. “...!”
“are you listening?” you furrow, and someone really might be out to get him right now because in that moment, wise flinches from the proximity, bumping into you.
then, because the universe thinks his life couldn't get more dramatic than it already was—you stagger, about to fall forward.
he moves before he thinks. “watch out!”
and wise.... practically astral-projects to another plane when he feels you fall into his arms, his hands on your waist. he can feel the warmth of your skin on his, the flustered look on your face. (he feels like he's going to die).
the two of you lock eyes for a moment, and wise feels like he's about to so something very stupid and his hands are still on your waist—
“....”
“.....”
someone save him.
“ah...”
“sorry!” you recover first, hurriedly letting yourself pull away from him (much to his disappointment). “i wasn't looking, and i- are you okay, wise?”
“no, no, it's fine.... i-i'm fine....” he hopes his voice isn't as small as it is, he couldn't be smooth to save his life; and wise helps you gather your bearings, his hands brushing against yours, blood rushing to his ears. sheepishly rubbing at his nape. “sorry, i was distracted.”
perhaps in the mood to lift the atmosphere, you sputter out, “no worries! it's fine! besides, you listened to me all this time.... i really enjoyed the movie, really.”
“of course i'll listen.” and before wise can think to stop his traitor of a mouth, the words spill out of his lips like it always wanted to be.
“you're worth paying attention to.”
it's automatic—your face heats up, warming like the sun on a hot day in new eridu, and god, he is such an idiot-
“you think so?” wise gulps. you looked bashful, and were way too adorable right now, and his face felt like it was on fire.... wait, that's not the point! he has to answer you, at least. this is a chance to make progress!
“y-yeah. definitely. i enjoyed... watching the movie with you.” he says. did his voice just crack just now? “we can hang out more often too, even without belle.”
he feels bad for throwing his sister under the bus like that, but—wait, did he just ask you out on a date? (accidentally)
well, it didn't matter because wise feels like he won the lottery right now, because you brighten up immediately. “really?”
then you cough and compose yourself. “i mean, sure! i'm sure it'll be fun, haha...”
awkward silence ensues. uh oh, did he say something wrong? was he too forward? he wants to say something, but something is lodged in his throat, and wise can't bring up a response. (his heart was beating like crazy right now, though).
“uh...”
“....”
then, something soft brushes against the side of his cheek. as fast as it was felt, wise felt the sensation leave just as easily. did you just-?
you just kissed him. on the cheek.
“thanks for hanging out with me, wise.”
“you're welcome- wha- huh?!” he nearly drops the stack of dvd's he was holding. you pull away, an enigmatic smile on your face. face flushed.
before he can even respond, the two of you finally arrive at the movie store. damn it, gods of the world. why did his luck run out now?
“i guess this is your stop.” he blinks, your voice coming back to him. “and, wise?”
“ah, uh, yeah?”
“it's a date, then?” your eyes sparkle and shine a light through his heart. super effective!
is this really happening? is he really going on a date with you—oh, he's so thrilled he could actually burst into song and kick his feet, but belle would tease him ruthlessly after. nosy sisters were so much work....
“yes!” he almost yells it out, but because he didn't want to look uncool in front of you, wise composes himself. play it cool, play it cool. don't mess up this chance! “yes, definitely. it's... it's a date.”
you put down the other stack of dvd's down the table, flashing him a dizzying, lovely smile smile. wise swears he falls even harder for you.
“then it's a date.”
BONUS.
“seriously?! you're going on a date with them?!” belle shouts, so unceremoniously that wise slaps a hand on her mouth.
“not so loud! but, yeah.” he says, face heating up. “your plan worked, sis.”
“yes! yes! finally!” his sister practically cheers, “i can finally be free of your sickening heart eyes... and finally, our street's most anticipated couple is here!”
wise can't help but sigh in fond exasperation. he guesses he'll let her have this one today.
“also, belle?”
“what?”
“you didn't tell anyone about this, did you?”
...
“uhh....”
(on the day of the date, wise receives an abnormal amount of good luck posters. he also gets a disturbing amount of thumbs up from the neighbors.
the last straw? tin man, giving him a baked cake with the words ‘rooting for you!’ covered in pink heart sprinkles.
he facepalms. belle...!)
a/n: d d do you guys get it..... phaethetically...... phaethon..... wise is phaethon and he's awkward in love lol hahahahaha (💀)
@ ICEUNHIE: do not repost translate or plagiarize my works.
#mhie's spirals#—stellaronhvnters#zzz x reader#zenless zone zero x reader#wise x reader#zenless zone zero wise x reader#zzz wise x reader#zenless zone zero#zzzero#zzz#self insert#x yn#copied illu's tags for this i love u user milksnake-tea (milk 😼)
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the ultimate deception | benedict bridgerton (part one)
summary: you are a well known artist who paints under a pseudonym. What happens when Lady Whistledown comes to know of your identity? How will your relationship with Benedict evolve?
pairing: benedict bridgerton x fem!(artist)reader
word count: 4k
warning(s): poor writing and dialogue (sue me, I'm rusty lol), very unedited so if there are mistakes, I apologize, misogyny, penelope aka Lady Whistledown's biggest defender
a/n: this is definitely going to be more than one part, but I wanted to post something after so many months. Let me know how you like it (or don't like it haha)...comments and feedback are much appreciated <3
• • • • • •
“I wish I possessed merely an ounce of your talent.”
Benedict’s gaze seems to be wholly absorbing your latest painting, a depiction of the botanical wonders of London’s Royal Kew Gardens.
You puff out a breath, blowing on the feathery end of one of your writing quills. In your haste, it had gotten loose, tickling your face irritatingly. Tucking it back behind your ear, you wave him off. “You have much more talent than you give yourself credit for.” You admit through squinted eyes, scanning your work. “You simply lack conviction. And you worry far too much about what others think of you.”
Benedict smiles, receiving your words as the highest of praise. He reaches out to take a better look at the piece of art before him. “You flatter me.” He mumbles in awe. “But I suppose there’s a chance you could be right.”
Chuckling at his words, you grin knowingly. You’re right. It’s more than a chance…you just are. He knows it too.
You both continue to steadily eye the painting, you out of critical evaluation of your work, and him in sheer admiration of it.
Benedict’s favourite part remains the beautifully bloomed magnolias that are scattered across the canvas. He’d been sure to tell you numerous times of their elegance while you’d been working on it, eagerly awaiting the finished product. As you’ve come to realize, Benedict loves watching you work. It’s one of the prices you’ve had to pay for his allowance of your workstation being at Bridgerton House, if you could even call it that.
You are grateful, truly. You wouldn’t be able to make your own living without his kindness. And you certainly wouldn’t be able to keep to yourself in the way you prefer to.
“When will Augustus Leighton be displaying his latest work of perfection?” Benedict’s question reminds you of your fate as an artist.
Augustus Leighton is the pseudonym you paint under. Using his name, you have become a well known artist among the ton, even going so far as to have a painting hung at Buckingham Palace. It’s difficult, you must admit, pretending to be someone else. But it’s a necessary evil.
Painting as a woman would get you nowhere. Especially as a woman with no money (particularly at the time you began), no status, and no husband.
Your mother is a seamstress with little to her name and your father was a servant to Violet and Edmund Bridgerton, before his heart became too weak. He passed away when you were thirteen, only a few years after the Bridgerton children had lost their own father. You’d grown up with little money, but Violet had been kind to both you and your mother, seeing how close you’d become with her children.
You were raised alongside them, Benedict and Eloise becoming your closest of friends. At three and twenty, there are five years between you and the two siblings in either direction, with Eloise being freshly eighteen, and Benedict having turned twenty eight. To this day, they remain two of only three people who know of your true identity, outside of Penelope Featherington.
You hadn’t exactly meant for Eloise or Penelope to find out about it, but once they had, it became comforting to have more than just Benedict to speak to about your predicament. Especially considering, although Benedict has been wonderfully supportive, he could never understand the struggle a woman must endure in a male dominated world.
“Likely never. This one is a gift for Lady Danbury.” You answer Benedict’s inquiry after a bout of silence. “She’s spoken about her love of these gardens quite regularly, so I thought, why not have Mr. Leighton recreate it for her?”
“How will you get it to her?” He questions.
A smile pulls at the corners of your lips. “I have my ways, lest you worry about it.”
• ж • ж • ж • ж •
The next few days are interesting to say the least. You’d somehow managed to get the painting delivered to Lady Danbury, and as far as Violet had been willing to speak of her latest visit with the formidable aforementioned woman, you have been made aware that she adores it.
You’d also heard more about it from Benedict, who’d mentioned something about her being at a loss for words, an ultimate shock to both him and his mother. They’d never seen her look so bewildered.
According to Eloise, Lady Danbury had been surprised to receive such a gift, especially of something so near and dear to her heart. She’d said it reminded her of her time with the Queen, telling the young Bridgerton woman about the months just after her husband had passed, when a new independent lifestyle began to bloom for her.
The painting itself reminded her that women like her could be free, and one day, they would be. That sort of metaphorical mindset had definitely appealed to Eloise’s sense of social justice. She’d been more than excited to tell you about the older woman’s reaction to your art, claiming it to be a wonderful revelation.
Today though, as you sit in the Bridgerton’s common living room, the opposite representation of said female autonomy rests in your hands. The paper feels rough against your skin as you pass it to Eloise who’s propped excitedly to the left of you. You’ve never been a fan of Lady Whistledown’s gossip column, although you can admire her unabashed confidence. But despite her strong will as an author, which could be seen as an inherently empowering trait, you are of the impression that she goes about it in an entirely backward way.
Women don’t need to put each other down to build themselves up. It accomplishes nothing, consequently acting as a source of nourishment for the patriarchy you find yourself trapped in.
“You’re not going to read it?” Eloise asks as she takes the pamphlet from you.
“I never do.” Is your instant reply.
Penelope perks up at the mention of the column, eyes trained curiously on you. If you had known better, you’d say she was a little too interested.
But at this moment you shrug it off, listening with no suspicion as she asks a simple, “Why?”
You don’t have the hindsight to understand why your stomach turns at her question, but you respond anyway. “I tend to think of Lady Whistledown as a poison.” It’s the first time you’ve voiced such an opinion.
Penelope and Eloise turn to you in surprise. “Come again?” Penelope’s soft voice cuts through.
“She is a poison.” You repeat before explaining yourself. “Do not get me wrong, I hold admiration for her bravado, but her words, the things she writes, they cause nothing but pain and conflict for those she chooses to sink her teeth into.”
“But she’s an independent woman.” Eloise interjects. “One who is doing more than any of us could dream of. She is making a name for herself!”
You try to think about your next words carefully, but your mouth makes quick work of a reply. “A name which she hides behind, casting stones through the guise and safety of anonymity.”
Penelope lets out a scoff from beside you. She’s always been one to defend the infamous gossip columnist. “At least she does not hide herself behind the mask of a man.” That feels like a shot. “The people know full well of her gender, despite her true identity remaining a secret.”
You hear the implication on her tongue. The same cannot be said for you.
And she’s not wrong. You do hide yourself behind the mask of a man. You’d never once denied that.
You sigh. “I know you must think of me as a hypocrite.”
Eloise agrees hesitantly. “Only a little.” She admits. “It’s just that you do the same as Mr. Leighton.”
You soften at her honesty. Truthfully, you understand where she’s coming from, but you can’t help the urge you feel to defend yourself.
“I disguise myself as Augutus because I know that no artist or art critic alike will take me seriously as I am. I want to share my work with the world, that is simply all I want. It’s all I have ever wanted.”
“Does that not make you a coward?” Penelope inquires, although it feels less like a question and more like an opinion. This is what she believes. And she's entitled to that.
“Perhaps.” You nod in acknowledgment. “But it has also made me uniquely successful. And I take great pride knowing that my work is highly regarded, in spite of the fact that I have to be someone else to succeed.”
“Does that ever bother you?” Eloise persists. “Knowing that no one will know you for the work you have done?”
Before you can respond, Penelope chimes in with a query of her own. “Does it ever make you feel guilty, lying as you do?” This feels like a challenge.
You turn to Eloise, answering her first. “No, I feel quite unbothered. I like the privacy it provides me.” Your gaze flicks between the two girls, a fire in your eyes as you speak.
You answer Penelope’s question next. “Guilt is one of the last feelings to cross my mind.” You feel content with it. “Because of Augustus, I have my own money, my own independence. I do not need a man to survive or to be happy. I have choices. And that's a facet of my life I never dreamed could have existed. If there is anything more empowering for a woman than that, I cannot think of it.”
Eloise listens to your words carefully, absorbing them, reveling in them. She hadn’t thought of it like that, but you’re right. Independence is a sign of true equality. And you have that. Not because of the name you hide behind, but because you’d used the insecurities of men to your advantage. You’d played the game and won.
“I suppose I have been quite short sighted.” There’s much less arrogance in her tone. Eloise sounds humbled. “You’ve given me a new perspective to think about.”
Penelope does not enjoy the direction this conversation has headed. “Surely you cannot think yourself above someone such as Lady Whistledown.”
Your face scrunches in thought. “Above?” You stipulate. “I do not think myself above anyone, gender aside. But I do think I have a much higher sense of self respect than she does.”
“And how could that possibly be?” Penelope has to bite her tongue. She wants to say more, defend herself more. But she cannot.
Eloise cuts in. “Lady Whistledown has the utmost confidence in herself. I dare say more than all the women in London combined. As much as I have come to see your side, I cannot agree with that.”
“One’s high level of confidence is of little concern here.” You deliver. “Often, in matters regarding the human condition, such as these, it can act as a detriment.” Your eyes narrow as you speak. “Self respect and self confidence can coincide, but they are not the same.”
Eloise laughs out of confusion. She’s not used to being this clueless. “I don’t understand.” She says.
“Ah,” you decide to stop tiptoeing around the subject. “I merely think that no self-respecting woman would use the pain and suffering of other women, or any other person for that matter, for their own profit and entertainment.”
Eloise’s smile drops. “Oh.” Again, she hadn’t thought of it that way. But what resonates with her most is that you’re not wrong.
“Is that what you truly think of Lady Whistledown?” Penelope’s voice is calm and collected for the first time this afternoon. It almost scares you.
“Yes.” You say, before voicing, “However, I mean no offense to either of you. I know how much you girls adore her column. I just want more for you than what she does. A life of gossip is dangerous, and you deserve so much more.”
If you had known you’d been talking to Lady Whistledown herself, maybe you would have kept those opinions to yourself. But little did you know how much your life was about to change, how dangerously you’d walked the line, and how much vengeance rests in Penelope Featherington’s soul.
Future note to self, do not play with fire if one does not wish to get burnt.
• ж • ж • ж • ж •
“(Y/n), I think you need to see this.” Benedict holds up the newest edition of London’s famous gossip column.
Your heart sinks at the look in his eyes. I’m sorry they seem to say.
You haven’t even read it and you already know it’s bad. Handing it to you, Benedict looks hesitant, almost in preparation of what's to come. As you take it from him, you glance down at the ink on the paper, her handwriting etched in your brain.
You swallow the lump in your throat as you begin to read:
Dearest Gentle Reader,
It has come to this author’s attention that a certain individual is playing an unforgivable game of deception within the world of classical art that this ton so highly regards. This artisan has gone to great lengths to keep their true identity from you, painting under a well recognized pseudonym.
By now you may have guessed, this artist is a woman. One who has tricked you and lied to you by passing her work off as that of a man’s. What a horrid crime it is to keep such a secret from you, and a desperate one, I must admit. A woman so foul as to seek such attention for her art, far too greedy to be content with the life so many of the wonderful women of the ton lead. Instead, she parades around disguising herself so she can live a life she feels entitled to.
This author asks you to consider the arrogance of it all. But the question remains, as I am sure you are desperate to uncover: who is the serpent who remains among us?
And so it is with great sorrow that I announce the once beloved Augustus Leighton is a fraud. A man never seen in the public setting, has given us a reason why. He is a woman.
And her name, ladies and gentleman of London, is (Y/n) (L/n).
As I am sure you, gentle reader, are shocked at this revelation, I will take a moment to address the woman this particular entry concerns.
May I remind you Miss (L/n), I have ears and eyes everywhere. Or did you forget? It would do you a world of good to remember that the next time you think about besmirching me. And, as I write this, I must say, this warning goes for all. Heed it, live by it, breathe by it. I am not a woman you want to cross.
Yours truly,
Lady Whistledown
Panic crawls through your body. You want to cry, scream, maybe even simply die from the anxiety you’re feeling.
“What am I going to do?”
Your voice cracks, it sounds like glass breaking. Shattered, ragged, and tired, and Benedict can do nothing but hold you.
Again, as your body shakes and caves into the pressure you think, what am I going to do?
• ж • ж • ж • ж •
The moment Eloise enters the room with Anthony at her side, your mind is sent ablaze. Only three people had known about Augustus. Only three people could have possibly let it slip, and you know for a fact it wasn’t Benedict.
As much as you want to believe Eloise would never do something like that to you, you can’t help but feel like she might have offhandedly mentioned it to someone. Her mouth had always worked much faster than her brain.
Benedict’s gaze meets yours in understanding. He hopes his sister hasn’t done this; he’ll be furious if she has.
You’re about to say something when a certain eldest Bridgerton catches you off guard. Anthony smiles when he sees you, eyes twinkling uncharacteristically so.
“I had no idea you could paint like that.” He says. “I must admit, I’m quite proud of you.”
You blink rapidly in confusion. Proud? In all the years you’ve known Anthony, he’s never told you he’s proud of you.
“So you’ve read the column then?” Your head hangs in shame. Everyone in London has probably read it by now.
“Everyone has.” Eloise pipes in timidly, confirming your suspicions.
She’s nervous, understandably so, fingers fiddling with the hem of her dress. You assume when you finally catch her gaze that she’ll avert it quickly, but instead, she holds it well.
We need to talk.
Benedict, reading the room perfectly, coughs in apprehension. “Brother, how about we let these ladies be for a moment? I’m certain they have some things to discuss.”
“Of course.” Anthony nods with a smile, not before reminding you how proud he is of you.
If anything good can come of this, it might just be that.
Once alone, Eloise is eager to assure you of her innocence. “I spoke to no one.” She promises. “Blood be forgotten, you’re my sister (Y/n). I would never betray you like that.”
The look on her face is one of pure panic; she needs you to believe her. And despite everything, you do. It almost makes you feel guilty that you questioned her.
“It’s alright.” You assure her. “I know you wouldn’t.”
But that only leaves one person…
“I think Penelope is Lady Whistledown.” You're taken aback by Eloise’s words, like a stab to the chest. Twisting the knife in further, she corrects, “I know she is.”
Moments of silence pass before you can collect your thoughts. “How long have you known?”
This is where Eloise loses her composure. Pure shame is etched upon her features. “I caught her a few weeks ago.”
A few weeks. A few weeks… A FEW WEEKS?
“Oh.” Your murmur is dejected and weak.
Eloise had known you’d been slandering Lady Whistledown in front of Lady Whistledown, and she’d done nothing to stop you, except defend her best friend’s honour. No wonder she’d been so reluctant to agree with you.
“I wanted to say something.” Eloise stammers. “But I couldn’t. Penelope doesn’t know that I know.”
You inhale a staggered breath of air, face falling to your palms. “I’ve been such a fool. How could I have been so stupid?”
“You have not.” The girl beside you opposes before continuing, “Trust me, I am furious with Penelope. The things she’s done and said about me, about the people I care about, I’m not sure I can forgive her for it.”
You scoff lightly. Trust her? How are you supposed to do that?
Sure, Eloise has certainly been burned by Lady Whistledown before, but she’s always had her name to fall back on. “You have no idea what it’s like, Eloise.”
“I’m sorry.” She slumps in apology, shrinking in on herself. Eloise likes to think she can understand where you’re coming from. She’s a woman, same as you, one who has the same struggles against the patriarchy, and yet, hers are much different.
“Don’t.” You dismiss her apology in frustration. It feels harsh but necessary. “You always speak about feminism and the difficulties of being a woman. How it is impossible for you to hold title and rank, or to be recognized for your accomplishments. But you are a Bridgerton Eloise, and that comes with more privilege, more title, more rank, and more acknowledgment in society than you seem to understand.”
Eloise’s brow furrows. “More often than not, that name is a burden, something you could not possibly grasp.”
“And I should not have to.” Your lips pull into a thin line. This isn’t a competition, but you feel it necessary to defend your point wholly. “I am the daughter of a servant and a seamstress. I have no money, no control, and no future if I am not to marry. Since the day I was born, I belonged to someone else. You talk of struggle, but you have no idea what it truly means.”
Eloise doesn’t like what you’re implying. “You think I live a life of luxury? That I am a stranger to the adversities life has to offer? I can assure you, I know much more about the struggles of which you speak. My mother has prepared me for the purpose of my future; finding a husband is imperative.”
“You plan to remain unmarried, correct?” You ask her seriously.
“With every fiber in my being.” Is her scathing reply. And it only serves to prove your point. But you can see her side of things too.
“El, you defy your mother with your distaste for society. And while I applaud your determination to fight for equality, your fault remains in your failure to recognize the entitlement that has been bestowed upon you simply by having that choice. Unlike so many women, you can choose to live your life as a spinster. For you, those options exist. For me, I have not one choice besides finding a well suited, at best, middle class husband, because that is all I am suited for.”
In this moment, her heart shatters for you. Is that really what you think of yourself? “You cannot possibly mean that.”
“It’s how it has to be.” You affirm.
“It’s not.” She disagrees. “There’s so much more for you than a husband.”
Both your defenses are down, walls have collapsed, and you’re starting to get through to each other. She’s starting to grasp the gravity of what this means for you. Your career is more than likely over, as is the steady source of income you’d managed to build. Except where before you’d had less than no money to your name, you now had a healthy dowry (that you’d earned no less) to find a more comfortable suitor.
Eloise sees it now. What Penelope has done is monumentally life changing.
However, as emotional as this circumstance is, you still feel the need to reach out. She’s your sister after all.
“Eloise,” your eyes search hers. They tread in a sea of empathy. “I never meant to imply you have lived a life without misfortunes. I’m not trying to diminish your hurt. But I thought if you heard my side, you might come to understand mine.”
She softens at your admission, having gotten carried away in defending herself. Nodding, she smiles gently. “I do.” She says. “And while you may not bear the Bridgerton surname, you do have us. Every Bridgerton will stand behind you, always.”
Against every fibre in your being, you believe her. Somehow you’ll always have this little family of yours, somehow you hope you’ll be okay…
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