#this chapter is the whole reason i started writing this in the first place lol
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malkaviian · 2 years ago
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im home earlier than i thought
#i can actually work on things yay. at least one of them#for the mav and samael story i will rewrite the first chapter#bc i think starting with mav having One of Those breakdowns bc of what happened with zachary its not the best way#i think its better to start the story showing his Unconventional Desires and Fantasies about being murdered as violently as possible#and then explain whats the reason behind them later; when the readers have an idea of who he is. and maybe wonder why hes like that#or if hes weird just because something is wrong with his brain (i mean something is def wrong with him either way.#but did something happened for him to end this way or it just happened without something being a direct cause?)#at least i didnt even got to the midpoint; i only had ~800 words. which is kind of a win for me tbh i havent write shit in months#let alone this thing is out of my comfort zone for a lot of reasons; starting with the fact its not a fanfic and everything belongs to me#and i havent touched a subject this sensitive like a p4r4philia before. of course i did my research but tbf there isnt a lot on this one#so im trying not to sound completely uninformed; just that i couldnt really find a whole lot of research on this#bc it doesnt exist on the first place. the closest is lopatka's clase; which i've read what i could find about already; its not a whole lot#anyway i am afraid of getting hate comments. something something i am romanticizing a serious subject#something something i am portraying this as a love story (im not; if the characters think so its another thing) so i must be fucked up irl#something something 'this is fucked up and doesnt cater to my direct tastes; therefore is bad and you are bad too'#of course i will put warnings but you know how people are. and if they report the story wattpad could actually take it down#a bummer but. whatever. i always have ao3 but i will have to do an extra step and translate it to english#alongside having 0 audience there. well shit just happens ig lol#this turned into a rant sorry#iván whispers
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coridallasmultipass · 6 months ago
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#hfffffff okay i spent fucking hours rambling in that ao3 comment lmao i wanted to apologize for that but#i dont wanna give the author a reason to reply or guilt them into reading the whole thing lol#i hate having anxiety#bc it means sometimes i cant be like 'haha that was hot' without feeling like im not doin my job as a reader#but then when i start writing a longer comment i gotta give reasons why i liked something#and before u know it im typing my whole lifes story and thats a book no one wants to read. least of all in the comments on their 50k fic#i took out so many paragraphs and revised it no less than 20 times but probably more i wasnt counting#i dont think ive ever put a comment that long but it required backstory to explain something and also how i was surprised at#...being sold in the first chapter when i was already predisposed to not wanna read the fic in the first place#god its fucking 130am ive been typing for hours#sleep has not occurred to me bc ive been in 'middle of a task' mode since like 8pm#anxiety really is a motherfucker lmao ughhhhhhh#fuckin verbose as hell lmao hate that abt myself no one wants to read my essays lol#shouldve spent at least 3 of those hours workin on my fics but alas i have time blindess and only saw 2 time jumps#anyway gonna hope my sleeping pills kick in fast#lol its probably pain. the reason why im so on edge for the past few days and especially today since i couldnt really relax#i hate being so anxious all the time but what can i do lol nothing has helped me long term#oh here we fucking go lmao im writing another essay in the tags yeah i gotta hit the pen or something to chill or the pills aint gonna help#delete later / /#i swear i dont mean to but i blink and ive written an essay it happens without doing it consciously
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fbfh · 1 year ago
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makey makeover - rodrick x hyperfeminine reader
wc: 1.5k
pairing: rodrick x gn hyperfeminine!reader
warnings: rodrick isn't used to being taken care of but only briefly mentioned at the end, rodrick does not know what hyaluronic acid is
summary: rodrick can never say no to you, but if it means having you straddle his lap while you use all your skincare products on him and listen to music together, he wouldn't want to say no anyway.
song recs: makey makeover - crazy ex girlfriend cast, jesus of suburbia - green day, perfect day - hoku
a/n: I started writing a kids book yesterday?? like I finished the first chapter and outline in one sitting???? it wasn't at all planned but when the muse strikes yk. Anyway I don't think it will take me as long to write so if you wanna read a chapter book about magic and girlhood and unicorns and other mythical creatures with bella sara vibes that's probs gonna be ready reasonably soon lol
tags: @yesv01 @magcon7280 @dustyinkpages @the-snake-pit @kiara7777 @inthehoneymoonwithconnorrk800 @followingthefanfiction @2220825 @Maggzsworld @xiaos_crustytoenails @ionlymadethisaccountbcihadto @strawberryjen124 @Isaentremundos @hxnbah
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Rodrick likes to think he's a pretty tough guy. Between being born and raised on the rebellious messages of pop punk music, and the nonconforming ideologies of emo and other alt subcultures, Rodrick knows in his bones that he'll never let the man break his spirit. He'll never bow down to someone just because they want him to do something. He's had countless opportunities to stand by these beliefs at school and at home, and he has never - not once - come close to doing anything for someone simply because they want him to. Rodrick has been confident in his ability to never give into other people’s orders, no matter how much they demand of him. 
Until now.
“Pretty please, Roddy…?” You pout your glossy lips at him, blinking up at him and batting your doll like eyelashes, and that’s all it takes to make him fold.
“...I guess, if you really-” He’s cut off by an excited squeal from you, and he’s glad that you’re too distracted to notice him blush. Rodrick has never felt his willpower give in so fast, but as he watches you rush around your room and smile, delighted that he’d agreed, he realizes that he’d do pretty much anything you tell him too. Ben and Chris would call him a pussywhipped simp, but… no, that’s pretty much it. He chuckles a little at the thought, watching the pile of stuff grow. He recognizes nail polish and tweezers, but that’s about it.
“Thank you thank you thank you!” You say, rambling happily as you settle down on your bed across from him. “I’ve been wanting to do self care stuff but I’ve done so many everything showers and self care nights there’s nothing left for me to do on myself. But you…”
You take his face in your manicured hands, moving him around to inspect more closely.
“You are in serious need of a facial.”
Rodrick doesn’t really process what you’re saying, he just loves when you touch his face like that. 
“...Uh, yeah totally.” He mutters absentmindedly, distracted by your sweet smell. After a moment, he processes what you said, and chuckles, leaning back into your silky pink pillows. “Babe, you can do anything to me, anywhere, anytime.” 
You giggle, feeling your face flush a little as you get all your stuff organized. Rodrick runs his hands up and down your waist, fidgeting with your soft fluffy pajama shorts and big loded diper shirt you wear all the time. He sees the little burn marks and worn out hems and realizes it’s the one you stole from him. He smiles softly, loving the way you look in it even more now. His attention is pulled back to you when you push something over his face, brushing his hair back. You adjust the fluffy cat ears on the headband, making sure you have access to his whole face. Rodrick giggles a little, knowing he must look a little out of place wearing a pierce the veil shirt and fluffy kitty cat headband. 
“I don’t think my forehead has been this exposed since like, 4th grade…” he chuckles.
“That’s good, you’ll have less sun damage that way.” You smile, putting some micellar water on a cotton pad. It’s a little cold to the touch, but after a moment, the feeling of you gently wiping over his face and neck ends up being way more relaxing than he had expected it to. You throw it away, and he hears it land in your trash can with a crinkle. 
“I’m gonna mist your face now, okay?” You say, and he nods. You spray rose water on his face, and Rodrick can’t get over how considerate you are to give him a heads up like that. Rodrick smiles a little as he adjusts to the subtle floral smelling facial spray he’s used to smelling on you. He basks in the quietness of your room, opening his eyes as he watches you sitting on his stomach and looking for the next product. You hesitate for a moment. You feel like something’s missing, but you can’t put your finger on it.
“Oh,” you say, reaching for your phone as you remember. You open up Spotify, and put your favorite playlist on shuffle - the one you and Roddy share. It’s full of both your favorite songs, mostly boiling down to early 2000’s pop punk and trashy pop. It’s chaotic but really does suit you both perfectly.  Rodrick smiles suddenly as he instantly recognizes the opening notes of Jesus of Suburbia begin to play. You take out your favorite serum, jasmine and blackberry hydrating jelly, and place a few drops around his face. 
“What’s that one?” Rodrick asks, picking up another bottle. 
“Hyaluronic acid.”
Rodrick looks at the little dropper bottle.
“Does it, like, melt the flesh right off your bones?” 
“No…?” You chuckle, massaging his cheekbones and jawline with your fingertips.
“Then why is it called hydroponic acid?” He asks rhetorically, “Acid is supposed to melt shit.”
You laugh again, and he makes a mental note to sample your laughter for a song at some point in the future. He doesn’t know which one yet, but he knows it will be his best one yet. 
You rub some cooling aloe vera gel into his skin, then take out your rose quartz gua sha stone. You tap your fingertips against his chest, and he looks at you with an amused smile.
“What does that do?”
He watches you work, eyes locked on you. He can’t remember the last time he felt this relaxed and peaceful. 
“I’m prepping your lymphatic drainage system.” 
That clarified absolutely nothing for Rodrick, but he trusts you implicitly. You’re so good at so many things, but Christ, you could write a book on all that girly beauty stuff. It’s way more hardcore than people think it is. You know about all these acids and drainage systems and the pink rock thing, and even though he’s impressed, he’s not at all surprised by how good you are at all this stuff.
You begin gently gliding your gua sha over Roddy’s skin, working from his forehead down to his neck and jawline. He stops talking as you work, and it’s like you melt all of the stress out of his body through his face. He could fall asleep with you touching him so gently like this. After a while you rub some more cream into his face, then place something under his eyes that feels like thinly sliced jello.
“What the fuck?” He asks, bringing another laugh out of you. He watches you take two more of the weird jelly things and put them under your own eyes.
“They’re under eye masks.” You answer with a chuckle. “They hydrate your skin, depuff, and get rid of dark circles.”
“Huh…” he hums in response, playing with the patches as they sit on his face. 
Once you’ve used half your arsenal of skincare products on him, you peel off his sheet mask and let him sit up. You hand him a mirror, and as he sits up and stretches a little, kind of wishing you had more to do, he feels like he just woke up from the best sleep of his life. 
“So? What do you think?” You ask excitedly. He can’t help but crack a smile at how cute you are. Rodrick takes the mirror you offer him. When he sees his reflection, he almost doesn’t recognize himself. 
“Oh my god…” he says with a soft smile. He’s glowing. He doesn’t think he’s ever looked this soft and moisturized and… cared for before. He doesn’t even have any crusty eyeliner from yesterday smudged around his eyes. He can never get it off all the way, but one wave of your magic wand, and it’s gone. He laughs again, touching his cheek. He looks up at you in surprise.
“My face is so smooth…” “I know!” You exclaim in delight. “So, do you like facials after all?”
You have a feeling you already know the answer, but Rodrick looks up at you anyway.
“Yeah,” he states, pulling you in for a kiss, his lips soft and exfoliated, topped with your favorite strawberry lip balm. You think Rodrick is right, it does taste better in a kiss. After he pulls away, it takes him a minute for his brain to stop short circuiting. 
“So… uh, are we doing this again next weekend?” 
You laugh at his hopeful tone of voice, how he raises his eyebrows a little. 
“Yeah.” You nod, taking him in for another kiss. You take his hands in yours, looking at the stick and poke tattoo he got of the heart you drew on his hand in chemistry class, his little calluses from drumming. “Next week I can do something about your cuticles.”
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celestie0 · 29 days ago
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hi friends, i won’t be posting or updating any of my works for an indefinite period n will be on hiatus from this blog as well.
i’ve unlisted kickoff & ihm on ao3 (haven’t deleted, they’ve just been made private) and i’ve unpinned my masterlist here on tumblr (again nothing’s been deleted so you could probably find the chapters if you searched my tags)
but the reason i did that is because i don’t want any new readers finding my works during my hiatus because i don’t want to potentially upset more people in the event that, during this hiatus, i decide that i would no longer like to write my fics
that would be an insanely sad decision to make. i put so much thought into my stories not because i am trying to make them entertaining, but it’s because they genuinely mean so much to me and are cathartic in ways i can’t describe. i have spent a great majority of my life self negating for the sake of others, and so writing was just a form of expression where i could talk about all the things i’ve suppressed over the years - anxiety, career stress, financial stress, avoidance, depression, loss, coming of age, navigating love, etc
but lately, and i do think it’s been a build up of just some careless words from a handful of people over the months, i find myself steering towards a practice of writing that is no longer asking the question “how can i put as much of myself in this piece as possible?” but rather “how can i make sure people won’t criticize this…i feel awful that it doesn’t have what they want it to have…other creators are doing xyz, should i be doing that too?…i’m just scared to share this”
not exactly sure when that shift in headspace began, but as of right now, it’s as strong as ever. and i understand that those questions may seem irrational, and i just have to try to not focus on the feeling, n i wish i was someone that could compartmentalize those thoughts better, but here’s the thing — the whole reason i started expressing myself through writing in the first place was because i’ve spent my whole life compartmentalizing. it would feel so ironic & untrue to the lessons i’ve learned in this journey if i just chose to “suck this up” and continue pushing forward until i reach a point of burnout simply because i don’t want to upset anyone
i’m really sorry i couldn’t focus on the positive. especially with all the insane n incredible amount of love n support i’ve received for my works. i’ve said this time n time again but when i started posting kickoff to ao3 back in january of this year, i had NO idea it would be this loved by so many people…i was like ok can’t wait to interact w these four readers for the rest of the year…and then BAM, i find myself fully sobbing after each chapter update because i was so touched by all the sweet n kind words. i don’t want this decision to come off in a way that makes it seems like i don’t love u guys sm or that i’m ungrateful — i’ve always taken pride in respecting my audience. even for a simple hobby, i try to put effort into my works. i proofread, i plan out, i edit in length, all because i am, well, for one, i’m a bit of a perfectionist LOL but also i think there’s a great deal of honor in respecting an audience that gives you their time n attention
but i already am struggling in my life to focus on the positive. medicine has been such an incredibly daunting career to pursue, i’m honestly only doing slightly better now because i’m just filled with relief that i got into med school to begin with lol it’s still surreal to me, so the stress has been kinda manageable so far on that sense of optimism, but dear god the shit i went through to get here…and the shit i know i still face ahead of me. i spend all of my serotonin on trying to stay positive in the face of my responsibilities. so all of this time i’ve spent trying to stay positive for the sake of my stories too has just left me with so much exhaustion — i just don’t see why posting my works should be anything less than fun and endlessly exciting when it’s a hobby that’s supposed to help me thru the actual brunt of life.
anyways, i’m getting a little carried away here. all this to say, i just need to take time away from posting my works so i can see writing as something for myself n not for others again. i don’t want the thoughts swimming in my head to be thoughts of anxiety over people potentially criticizing me n my creative decisions. i want the thoughts in my head to once again be positive, excited, and nurturing towards my stories. i don’t see how i can accomplish that at this point unless i start writing for myself once more, and not for others
i still have a great deal of passion to write, which is why i haven’t formally taken down my works. i anticipate that i may be able to come back in the future to share my writing again. but as of right now, i just want to heal the relationship that i have with this hobby, and i feel like that’s gotta happen in private (lmfao it sounds like im tryna freak my writing)
i’m sorry that i turned off my asks n my replies, i know so many of u care about me n want to support me n i just am beyond thankful. i don’t anticipate this is a forever goodbye, but i do just need some time rn away from all of this.
hope u all have a happy time!! and take care of yourselves :) much love
- ellie
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ginnsbaker · 1 year ago
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In Silent Screams (3/3)
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Chapter word count: 11.8k+ Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader, Wanda Maximoff x Vision (past) Warnings in this part: Smut (F/F), Angst, Gaslighting, Blackmail, Mild attempted sexual assault
A/N: This is probably the most uncomfortable fic I've written after In Flames (for good reason lol), so I'm nothing short of amazed if you were able to go through every line in this three-parter. P.S. For some reason, third part was the hardest to write for me, I guess it's because a lot of the scenes now are the same ones from In Flames after R found out and switching perspectives was a lot harder than I anticipated :P
Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist
-
It all feels like a dream, starting from the moment she opens her eyes and a few rays of light have filtered through the slats of the blinds. For a few moments Wanda pretends she’s back to that day—to that first morning she woke up next to you as your wife.  She can still vividly recall the setting: your old bedroom in Montauk. Less than a year out of college, both you and Wanda were being frugal about the whole marriage thing, opting out of checking into a hotel after the festivities the night before.
Wanda smiles to herself at the fond memory. She glances to the side, and the alarm clock reads 5:30. It's too early to be waking you up, or anyone in this sleepy town. Nevertheless, she has to talk herself into extricating herself from your arms if she wants to pull off a very special breakfast-in-bed. A hesitant decision, a quiet sigh, and Wanda's slowly pulling herself from the warmth of the bed. The wood floor feels cool against her bare feet, prompting her to reach for one of your used polo shirts hanging over the back of the desk chair.
She enters the kitchen, her hands immediately getting to work. The spinach and mushroom are her first go-to, swiftly layered with day-old bread, and custard mix, forming the base for her strata. Next come the eggs, which she sets to poach, anticipating the smooth burst of yolk that'll cascade over the muffin once all is said and done. And then finally, bacon—your favorite. 
Sparky trots into the kitchen, inevitably drawn by the wafting aroma, his tail wagging in tandem with his eagerness. He settles by her feet, watching with those pleading puppy eyes, occasionally letting out a quiet whine that speaks of his impatience and hope. Wanda chuckles, bending down to ruffle his fur. “You think this will get you a piece, huh?” she teases. But, she already knows that she'll give in, sneaking him a piece or two. He's your and Wanda's baby after all.
After she’s finished plating the meal, she sets them on a tray and carefully carries it back to the bedroom. The morning sun presents itself more boldly, almost spotlighting you in bed. Your face is tucked beneath a pillow, the sheets haphazardly pooled around your waist, revealing the bare expanse of your back, without a care in the world. Warmth floods Wanda's chest. She places the tray on a nearby desk.
Breakfast can wait.
Slipping into bed behind you, she becomes a shadow to your form. Her fingers gently trace the curve of your shoulder, lightly skimming over your skin. A shiver runs through her, and she lowers her lips to your nape. The temptation is too great, and soon, her tongue joins the fray, drawing a wet path down your spine. And then, unable to stop herself, she begins to rub herself against you, a soft moan escaping her lips. The sheer fabric of the polo shirt she's wearing, infused with your scent, rubs tantalizingly against her sensitized skin, heightening her need. 
She can't stop thinking about last night, and the times before. She can't stop thinking about you—having you, being had by you. However, as your muscles start to tense, indicating the micro movements of your awakening body, a soft “fuck” slips from Wanda's lips, distracting her rhythm. She waits, a small smile tugging at her lips, silently asking if you're ready to greet the day—together.
You lazily roll onto your back, causing Wanda to reposition herself, now straddling your abdomen. With a drowsy smirk, your eyes half-lidded, you murmur, “Good morning,” squinting at the enthusiastic goddess—my wife, you think possessively to yourself— hovering above you.
Her face lights up, her morning energy nearly palpable. “Morning,” she chirps back, leaning down to capture your lips in a short but sweet kiss. Breaking away only slightly, she gives you a playful eskimo kiss, her nose rubbing affectionately against yours. A giggle escapes you, and she continues until you feel her nose scrunch up from how hard she’s smiling, all the while relishing the sound of her laughter. 
When she's done teasing you, she buries her face in your neck. Drawn to the soft, milky expanse of her thighs, your hands begin to wander. As your fingers brush the curve where her thigh meets her hip, the subtle absence of fabric gives you pause. She's without a stitch beneath your polo. Your thumb ventures further south, discovering the dampness tangled in her soft curls. Heat surges to your cheeks, and you bite your lip, stifling a moan.
Wanda notices the slight change in your expression and a devilish smirk forms on her lips. “Seems like you found a little surprise,” she teases.
“Did I?” you smirk, tracing  the V-line leading to her hidden treasure, teasing her a little. Wanda's breath catches, her pupils blown. But just as she readies herself for whatever comes next, you suddenly shift upwards, unbalancing her slightly. Reflexively, her legs wrap around your waist, anchoring herself to you. Her hands fly to your shoulders, gripping them for support. With a swift move, you part the front of the polo she’s wearing, exposing the smooth curve of her breast to the cool morning air.
The sudden exposure makes her gasp, but before she can utter a word, you close the distance, taking a hardened nipple into your mouth. Her face contorts in unabashed pleasure, her world spinning as you draw her deeper and deeper into your mouth. It's messy and primal, yet at the same time, it's reverent and sacred—something she has only ever experienced with you. She can't help but squirm, fingers threading through your hair, pulling you closer, urging you on. 
Keeping an arm firmly around her waist to ensure she stays secure, your free hand travels down her belly, fingers tracing a sultry path to her soaked center. You leisurely trace her slick folds, gathering her arousal, playing with it. 
“Please, baby,” she arches and bucks, grinding her hips, “more...I need more.”
Your lips twist into a devious smirk, reveling in her desperation. Drawing back slightly, you gaze at the flushed, vulnerable state of her, taking a moment to commit the image to memory. “I love it when you’re this needy…” you rasp, the tease evident in your tone. 
Oh, but she is. She needs you to claim her, time and time again. She never wants to be anything else other than yours once more.
You lean back in, trailing a path of searing kisses from her collarbone, down to the valley between her breasts. Without warning, you nip at her tender flesh, causing her to let out a surprised gasp. Marking her further, you suck and bite gently, leaving a trail of reddened spots, declaring your claim on her. With every purple bruise you leave, Wanda's moans grow more desperate, more wanton.
When you finally lift your head, her chest is littered with bites, then with a wicked grin, you dip your finger into her wetness once more, circling her entrance but never dipping inside.
“Tell me what you want.”
“I... I want you,” she admits breathlessly, biting her lower lip, eyes pleading. “Please, I need you inside.”
Not wanting to make her wait any longer, you slide two fingers into her, curling them expertly. Wanda's body arches off the bed, her inner walls instantly tightening around your digits, pulling them deeper. Every sound that spills from her lips, the way her body arches, trying to get closer, to feel more of you, tells you just how good you’re making her feel. 
Your thumb finds her clit, rubbing it in tight circles, while your fingers continue to piston in and out of her. The room is filled with the sound of Wanda's ragged breaths and the wet, slick noises of your fingers moving within her. As you feel her body tense further, you take a chance and slide a third finger into her, stretching her, filling her completely. The sensation of being so full sends Wanda over the edge.
“Oh, God!” she gasps, her back arching, eyes squeezed shut. Her hands grip your shoulders tightly, knuckles white from the intensity of her climax. Her inner walls spasm around your fingers, coating them with her release, her entire body trembling in the throes of ecstasy.
You keep up the pace, not wanting to stop until she's wrung out from pleasure. Each stroke of your fingers sends aftershocks rippling through her. When it finally becomes too much, Wanda grabs your wrist.
“Enough,” she breathes out, a sated smile curling her lips. 
You can't resist the allure of the taste she's left on your fingers. You raise them to your lips, deliberately and slowly, letting her watch as you savor her taste. The move earns a flustered gasp from her.
“You taste so good,” you murmur, your voice low and husky.
Wanda's cheeks redden, but her eyes darken once more, filled with a burning intensity. “Your turn,” she whispers, reaching for you.
-
Thirty minutes before she can call it a day, the sound of a knock on her office door sends a ripple of tension through Wanda. 
She knows that knock all too well.
Taking a deep breath, she calls out, “Yes?” even as she mentally braces herself for who might be on the other side. 
The person almost immediately steps in, and—unfortunately, she's correct about who she thinks it might be. Before she can utter a word, he says, “You know, I can't just come in without an appointment, right?”
“Exactly, Vision. You shouldn't be here without—” she starts to say, but he interrupts her by triumphantly holding up an appointment slip.
His cheeky grin widens. “Got one right here.”
Wanda eyes the slip, pursing her lips as she thinks of a retort, keeping her guard up. The game has changed, but Vision's audacity, it seems, remains the same.
“Alright, what do you want? And I wouldn’t entertain anything that doesn’t have to do with the course.”
“Just some clarification about our last lecture,” he says as he closes the door behind him, audibly locking it. Wanda maintains her composure, not letting it show that the small act alarms her in the slightest.
“Go on,” Wanda prompts, leaning back slightly against her desk, arms crossed defensively.
But Vision, without missing a beat, launches into something entirely different. “I miss you,” he starts, and Wanda's posture stiffens, her fingernails reactively digging into her arms rather painfully. “I realize I messed up, Wanda. I do. But I can change.”
“Vis—” she warns, trying to interrupt him, but he barrels on, his voice filled with desperation.
“And if, by any chance, you're pregnant, I'll step up. I promise. I'll be responsible,” he continues, his voice quivering slightly. “You have no idea how happy I’ll be if you are.”
“I'm not pregnant,” Wanda whispers, struggling to keep her emotions in check. It's one thing for him to disregard her boundaries and be reckless with his words, but to assume that she would continue a pregnancy, knowing he's the father? Even the thought of it is sickening. 
“And I would still choose not to be even if you were successful in your plans,” she adds, just to spite him.
Vision looks as if he might be sick, his complexion turning pallid, and a faint sheen of sweat forming on his forehead. Wanda has never seen him struck by her words this hard, and she realizes she doesn't have any idea what he might do next.
“I just... I thought…” he stammers, eyes glistening, “I just wanted to matter to you, b-by—”
“By what, Vision?” She cuts him off, her tone icy. “Hoping you'd lock me down by trying to knock me up?”
Vision’s face crumples further, tears spilling over. For all his stature—tall, lanky yet broad-shouldered—in this moment, he's stripped of that facade. His body shake as he tries to hold back sobs. “I didn't... I didn't think it through,” he manages to say between choked breaths.
Wanda almost pities him, but she shakes her head. “If you’re not here for school, you need to leave.” Her voice is cold, but inside, she's fighting a storm of guilt for the hurt she sees in him.
Just then, the shrill ring of Wanda's phone startles them both simultaneously. Vision's eyes dart to the screen as her caller ID lights up, displaying your name. In a split second, desperation and panic take hold of him. He lunges for the phone, but Wanda is quicker. She swiftly grabs it from her desk, tucking it safely into her purse.
“What the fuck are you doing?” she hisses, her back pressing against the desk.
Vision's eyes burn with an intensity that chills her. Taking slow, deliberate steps, he looms over her, his presence imposing in the small confines of her office. “That’s her, isn’t it?” he demands with barely suppressed jealousy. “She's coming to get you now?”
Wanda backs away slightly, her breathing erratic. “Vision, you need to think���”
“I am thinking.” His voice drops to a low, menacing growl. He tilts his head, eyes never leaving hers. “And maybe I'm thinking of doing something you won't like.”
“No!” Wanda pleads. “Look, Vision—okay, okay, let’s talk. Just not here. We can go to your place.”
His gaze narrows, considering her offer. “When?”
“Soon.”
Vision shakes his head. Not good enough. 
“Tomorrow,” he states without room for argument, his eyes drilling into hers. “Same time. Like we used to.” The allusion to their previous meetings isn't lost on her.
Wanda's throat constricts, “Fine,” she whispers, barely audible, a clear note of dread in her voice. She hates the familiarity of this situation. Most of all, she hates that she's put herself in this position to begin with.
Suddenly, Vision reaches out, his fingers nearly brushing the side of her face. Wanda instinctively shrinks back, but the space between the desk and Vision offers her little room to escape. Her back is to the wall, both literally and figuratively. She can feel the cold press of the desk behind her, contrasting with the heat emanating from Vision's body. It’s obvious what he's thinking, what he's restraining himself from doing.
Horrified and trapped, Wanda closes her eyes, waiting for the inevitable. But instead of the touch she anticipates, she hears Vision's harsh intake of breath. The realization that she's retreated from him seems to strike a nerve.
Without another word, Vision pulls away sharply, as if burnt. He turns on his heel, storming out of her office. As soon as he’s gone, her legs give out from under her and she slides down to the cold floor, clutching her chest as she struggles for air. The walls of her office seem to close in on her, trapping her in her own spiraling thoughts. 
As the room begins to blur, the sharp buzz of her phone breaks through her spiraling thoughts. Instinctively, she reaches into her purse, pulling out the phone. Your name illuminates the screen, and with it comes a flood of emotions—relief, safety, love. 
The mere thought of you—so close, just beyond these walls—stops a panic attack from consuming her.
-
“Would you like to go bowling?” Wanda asks you as soon as she fastens her seat belt.
The randomness of the suggestion takes you aback, and a hearty laugh escapes your lips. But as you glance over to see Wanda's reaction, expecting to see her sharing in the moment's levity, you're met with a pained expression.
Your smile fades immediately, replaced by concern. “Hey, are you okay?”
Wanda mentally curses herself, realizing just how easily you can read her, see past her defenses. Needing to come up with something plausible, she quickly blurts out, “I had something super spicy when you called earlier. Didn't handle it too well, it seems.”
The corners of her mouth quirk up in a weak attempt at a reassuring smile, hoping you'd buy the lie, or at least not press further.
You don’t. “Hmm… how about we take Sparky out for a stroll today?” you suggest.
“A walk sounds great,” Wanda replies, her voice softening.
“Good,” you say, starting the car. “Let's head to the park. A bit of nature might do us both some good.”
The engine rumbles softly as you shift the gears, transitioning smoothly from one to the next. And then, almost instinctively, you reach out to take Wanda's hand, your fingers lacing with hers in a gentle yet firm grip. You hold her hand throughout the entire ride home, giving her fingers a reassuring squeeze whenever you feel them tremble between yours.
That night, while you sleep soundly beside her, she finds herself unable to sleep. She spends the empty hours simply studying your peaceful face. There's a childlike innocence in the way your lips part slightly, a soft snore escaping occasionally. It's endearing, and it makes Wanda smile, even through her turmoil. She imagines traces of age on your face—the lines that will mark years of laughter, the silver that will streak through your hair. She tries to picture herself beside you, her own face carrying the weight of the years, both of you holding on to each other until the last breath. Her smile is teary as she hopes and hopes that this is where she's headed—to this future.
Because tomorrow, she will have to see Vision, and if everything goes well, she'll never have to see him again. Then she will finally express how she needs you to take her back to Manhattan or anywhere far from here, so she'll never have to relive this nightmare she’s created.
The next day comes like any regular day of the week. She kisses you goodbye as you head off to work, and she feeds Sparky to his heart's content before getting into a pinstripe blue blazer set. She fails to notice just how good she looks in this well-fitted ensemble, the fabric hugging her waist perfectly. Her focus is solely on feeling powerful, as she knows she'll need all the strength to finally put an end to things with Vision.
-
Wanda takes a deep breath, then another, and then two more, before she finally gathers enough courage to knock on the door. Vision answers almost immediately, as though he had been anticipating her knock down to the very second. 
The man before her now looks wholly different from the one she had encountered just yesterday. His blue eyes are bright and clear, his face clean shaven. The scent of a cologne she doesn't recognize wafts to her. New, she thinks. It's heady and distinctly masculine, unsettling her slightly.
“Wanda,” he greets with a charming smile, one that reaches his eyes, but doesn’t quite touch the soul behind them. For a moment, she's transported to the countless afternoons she spent here, entangled with him with nothing—not even air—separating their sweating, writhing bodies. His lips quirk into a sly, familiar smile, as if he too remembers those days and expects this visit to be a similar occasion. 
“Vision.” Gripping her shoulder bag tighter, almost using it as a shield, she quickly sidesteps him. “May I?” she asks, though it sounds more like a statement as she makes her way into his apartment.
He chuckles softly behind her, the sound dripping with memories she would rather forget. “Of course. After all, you've always felt at home here.”
Wanda's stride falters for a fraction of a second at his words, the implication threatening to pull her under. But she needed to keep her wits about her. If she wants this conversation to go her way.
“Let’s just get to the point, Vision,” she says curtly.
“I intend to,” he replies, closing the door behind them with an intentional finality. Wanda allows herself to glance around, seeking even a brief distraction from what's about to unfold. His apartment is in disarray, a stark contrast to his appearance. Her eyes are drawn to one particular piece amongst the chaos—the finished nude painting he had made of her. The realization catches in her throat. It appears he’s finished it.
Wanda shoots him an expectant look, urging him to speak first.
Vision clears his throat, attempting to sound casual but failing. “Wine? Or should we skip the formalities?”
Her eyes narrow, her patience waning. “We skip.”
“Alright.” 
He sighs and drops onto the couch. “Look, I've said sorry over and over, but I’ll say it again. I'm sorry, Wanda. I'm sorry for being careless that night.” His voice lowers, “But I don't regret it.”
Wanda's eyes flash with disbelief. “You don't regret it?”
“No,” he murmurs. “What I regret is that it didn't result in... well, you know.”
The implication is clear, and Wanda feels bile rise in her throat. How could he say something so audacious?
She opens her mouth to retort but he continues, raising a hand as if to hold off her words, “I want to keep seeing you. I can’t stop. Because, believe it or not, I'm in love with you.”
Wanda feels as though the ground has been pulled from under her feet. Every instinct tells her to run, but she knows that this won’t have an ending if she does. Wanda swallows dryly and closes her eyes, trying to piece together a strategy, a way to get through him, a way to get out of this unscathed, a way to ensure he won’t tell anyone about this when she leaves.
“I-I believe you,” she starts. “I think I’ve always known, no—felt, that you l-love me.” Vision nods to her words, his lips curling into a hopeful smile.
“But I have to be honest with you, too,” she continues, her eyes shining with unshed tears. “I took advantage of those feelings, Vision. I knew, deep down, that you felt this way and I still... I still let it happen. And for that, I'm deeply sorry.”
He stiffens at her words, a frown forming on his brow. “Wanda—”
She raises her hand, signaling for him to let her finish. “I don’t love you. It's Y/N. It's always been her. From the very start. What happened between us, it was a mistake, one that I haven't forgiven myself for. Especially because of what it means for Y/N.”
She takes a shaky breath, looking into his eyes earnestly, “You deserve someone who can return your feelings, who can love you wholeheartedly. You're a handsome, intelligent, passionate young man. There are many out there who would consider themselves lucky to be with you—”
But Vision vehemently shakes his head, unwilling to accept it, refusing to acknowledge their end. “I want to keep seeing you.”
“You can't,” Wanda insists, a few tears slipping down her cheeks. “It's over.”
Vision's eyes flash dangerously, the calm veneer shattering in an instant. He takes a step forward, trapping Wanda with a threatening look.
“You think you can just fuck me and then discard me like nothing?!” he hisses.
Wanda backs up, startled. She feels her control starting to slip away. “Of course not. I… you were my friend. I cared—I care about you. But I shouldn't have let it get this far.”
He scoffs, not a word of hers reaching his ears. “So, it's all a game to you? You get to decide when to play and when to stop?”
“No, it's not a game,” she replies, desperate for him to understand. “But I can't keep lying to myself or to you. I can't keep hurting Y/N or you.”
His gaze snaps back to hers, and there's a glint of something dark and foreboding in his eyes. “Maybe you should've considered the consequences of your actions, Wanda.”
She swallows hard, sensing the danger in his voice. “What are you saying?”
“Maybe Y/N should know the truth,” he surmises, his voice dripping with malice. “Maybe she should know exactly who she's been sharing her bed with.”
Wanda feels like she might faint anytime. Panic rises, threatening to choke her. “Vision, please,” she pleads, “you can't do that.”
His eyes remain steely. “Why not? She deserves to know, doesn't she?”
Wanda takes a shaky breath, grappling for words, trying to appeal to his sense of reason. “Yes, she does. But not like this. Not from you. If anyone should tell her, it's me.”
“But you'll never tell her,” Vision says, his voice laced with accusation. “I see it in your eyes, Wanda. You don't have the balls to be honest with her. Because you're afraid. You're afraid she'll walk away.”
Both are poised in this high-stakes game, each waiting, anticipating, guessing what card the other will play next. For a heartbeat, Wanda feels disarmed, Vision's threat too sharp and too real. But as the seconds tick by, something shifts in her. She straightens up, pulling herself to her full height, and when she speaks, there’s no fear or hesitation in her voice.
“You’re not going to tell her,” she declares.
“And what makes you so sure?”
“Because you know I'll hate you,” she says. “And if there's even the slightest chance that I'll change my mind, then doing that wouldn't be it.”
Vision lets out a humorless laugh, but the look in his eyes betrays his indifference. “You think there's a chance you'll change your mind?” 
“No,” Wanda says firmly. “It's over.”
The defiant look that had been painted across Vision's face begins to crack. He looks smaller somehow, like he's shrinking back into himself. His shoulders slump, and the facade of control and confidence he'd donned earlier dissolves. The boy from yesterday, the one who seemed so heartbroken, returns in full force.
“Wanda,” his voice trembles, almost as if he's on the verge of tears. “Please, I’m all alone. I told you my life, I told you about my parents, nobody in this world cares about me! And I know I said I’m fine and I can survive without them, but why should I when I have you, Wanda—”
She can't help but pity him, his brokenness tugging at her heartstrings. But she knows that relenting now would mean drowning in the same cycle all over again.
“Vis, you will find someone. Someone who isn't me, someone better for you. Trust that.”
“How can I want someone else when I had you,” he insists with unwavering stubbornness, his eyes growing more frenzied, and Wanda shivers at the unsettling sight before her.
“Maybe you had me,” she says tearfully as she decides to finally drive a stake into his heart. “But not in every way like Y/N has me.”
Before she can register what's happening, Vision's hands are suddenly around her waist, pulling her forcefully against him. The initial shock and his assertiveness make her freeze for a split second. As he starts rubbing himself against her, she feels the unmistakable hardness growing between them.
“Vision, stop!” she protests, trying to wriggle free.
“Can you feel that?” he whispers hoarsely, clearly misinterpreting her struggle, mistaking it for their first time together and all the other times she eventually gave in to his advances. “That's how much I want you. Need you.”
Tears of frustration and fear spill from her eyes. “This isn't right, Vision. Let go,” she pleads, placing her hands against his chest and pushing with all her might.
“Wanda, just—maybe if we—you’ll see. You’ll see that you love me, just let me—”
Her fist connects with his cheek, causing him to stumble a few steps away. For a while, they both freeze in horror, the gravity of the situation sinking in. In his moment of delirium, Vision comprehends what he was about to do to the woman he claims to love, and guilt claws at his guts, wrenching his insides. 
On the other end, Wanda's chest heaves with shock and distress. She stands there momentarily paralyzed, the aftershocks of the ordeal still rippling through her. Tears blur her vision, but she refuses to let them fall, not now, not when she needs all her strength. Her gaze meets Vision's only briefly before she pulls herself together. She wraps her arms around herself, and then rushes to the front door.
He yells, “No, Wanda! I…please let’s just—”
But his pleas fall on deaf ears.
-
Wanda goes straight home after the whole fiasco with Vision. She locks herself in the bedroom, crying for hours, paying no attention to Sparky's worried barks from outside the door. She tells herself that it could be worse, trying to talk herself out of going to the police. If she goes to the authorities, she'll have to give a statement. This would inevitably lead to an investigation into their past, revealing things she doesn't want you to know.
Drained from crying, Wanda's eyelids grow heavy. As sleep overtakes her, vivid dreams flood her mind, each presenting an alternate reality. In one dream she’s back in Vision’s apartment, his arms wrapped around her like a chain, and every time she tries to pull away, the chains grow tighter, pulling her back into his prison. A cold dread settles in her heart, as she struggles and fights, desperate to wrench herself free from his grasp.
The next scenario places her in a world without Vision. It's a life untouched by his influence, where she walks unfamiliar streets and meets faces that do not recognize her. Then, in a sudden shift, she's back at her office on that fateful evening, but the events unfurl differently. The temptation of Vision never materializes. She leaves, unburdened by the weight of a choice she didn't make.
But the relief is short-lived. These dreams meld into a harrowing nightmare, saturated in hues of red and black, where you discover her secret. She tries to call out, to explain, to mend, but her voice is swallowed by the deafening silence of the dreamscape. 
In her seemingly endless silent screams, Wanda wakes up. The remnants of her haunting dreams still clutching at her, making her jolt upright. The fabric of the sheets sticks to her body, drenched in a cold sweat. Each breath comes in ragged gasps, as if she's been submerged underwater and has just broken the surface.
The bedside clock reads half past six and panic sets anew. You could be home in an hour, given that you haven't been extending your hours at the office lately. The realization pushes her into a frenzied urgency. Throwing off the sheets, Wanda rushes to the ensuite bathroom. The cold stream from the shower brings a semblance of clarity, washing away the residues of her nightmares. 
Wrapped in a towel, with droplets still cascading down her skin, she dashes to the kitchen. She pulls out ingredients, her hands working methodically, albeit with a haste that speaks of her need to keep busy, to keep the demons of her subconscious at bay. She manages to prepare a simple but appetizing meal, but the mere thought of taking a bite threatens to turn her stomach inside out.
The dining table is set, and she seats herself, her gaze distant once again. And she stays there, lost in her own head. 
It’s how you find her when you get home at 9:15 in the evening.
-
You’re quiet tonight. Alarmingly so.
She asks you how your day was, and you respond tersely with a simple, “Good.” She attempts to get you to elaborate, maybe share an anecdote like you usually do, but you dismiss her efforts, attributing your lack of interest in conversation to fatigue.
But Wanda can’t stand the silence. When it’s quiet, the voices in her head are even louder. 
So she decides to tell you about her day instead. She swears to herself this is the last day she’ll ever lie to you with a straight face. She talks about the final projects her students have begun submitting. As she describes her favorites, your interest particularly sharpens when she mentions the portrait projects. You pepper her with questions, mostly about who made which, and Wanda offers names that probably wouldn't mean much to you.
After you finish eating, you thank her with a small smile. It's only then that Wanda feels she can breathe again. She leans in, pressing her lips to yours, her longing evident. However, just as she tries to deepen the kiss, you pull away, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Showered without me?” you tease, but it lacks the usual lilt in your voice. She simply nods in response. You playfully tap her nose, whispering, “Naughty girl.” Then, without another word, you're on your feet and heading up the stairs to the bedroom.
She proceeds to clear the table and wash the dishes, all while the sound of the shower fills her ears. She allows herself a small smile, chiding herself for being overly affected by her dream.
By the time she makes her way up to join you, she discovers you've already drifted off, turned away from the vacant space beside you that's meant for her.
-
She’s positively shaking as she takes the short walk from the parking lot to the classroom, the dread building up inside her like a swelling storm. The thought of facing her class, and especially Vision, sends shivers down her spine. The recent events—the horrifically inappropriate advances and Vision's glaring sense of entitlement—play over and over in her mind.
Her feet eventually take her to her destination, but she remains outside for a full minute. The thought of facing Vision again is almost enough to turn her around. But another, stronger, voice reminds her of her duty, her commitment to her other students, and her own integrity. Moreover, she doesn't want to be alone today, here the haunting events with Vision could replay in her mind without any distractions. 
She pushes open the door. It appears to be a typical day, with her students clustered in small groups, engrossed in conversation and seemingly oblivious to her arrival. She swiftly surveys the room and, to her relief, doesn't spot the familiar blue eyes that usually fixate on her by this time.
When she starts her lecture on the final topic of the semester, it flows seamlessly. Still, the end of the course can't come soon enough; continuing here is untenable. She can’t keep teaching here, when these hallways keep reminding her of the mistake that almost cost her everything.
-
You've been leaving the side of your bed cold for almost two weeks now. Sometimes, your careful movements stir her awake, and she watches you, bleary-eyed, as you go through the motions of prepping for a run, a habit you've picked up quite recently. At first, Wanda would always ask where you’re headed and if she can accompany you. But you'd consistently dismiss her offer, always seeming in a rush to hit the pavement.
She thinks it’s good for you—the exercise. The only aspect of your new hobby that she dislikes is that you typically go before sunrise, where everywhere is still too dark and eerily quiet, and her imagination runs wild of all the worst things that could happen to you while you’re out on your run. 
And Wanda wouldn’t admit it, but she can't help but internalize the consistent rejection of her offers to join you.  She wonders if there's a deeper reason behind it. When you're out and she's left alone with her thoughts, Wanda can't help but let the guilt seep in. Has she become too transparent? Has something given her secret away? Did you find out about her affair? How would she even begin to explain?
But then you return after your run, with a sense of tranquility, as though the exercise had been a cathartic release of some pent-up tension. However, something still feels amiss. Perhaps it's because she hasn't slept with you since the night she discovered she wasn't pregnant with Vision's child, and all that has passed between you are brief, perfunctory kisses here and there. She wants to discuss it with you, but she doesn't want to appear too eager or guilty. Instead, she remains committed to being a good wife. And even though being a good wife was never about housework, Wanda ensures that every corner of the house sparkles and shines.
Meanwhile, you go about fulfilling your own household responsibilities seamlessly. From tending to minor repairs to ensuring that bills are paid on time, you continue with the routines that have always defined the dynamic of your relationship. There's no sign of resentment or dissatisfaction in your actions. It's almost as if everything is back to normal. This confounds Wanda even more. She starts to question her own memory, wondering if perhaps this distance, this new version of you, has always been present and she just never realized it. It's possible that you've become this way while she was preoccupied with her affair, and she didn't notice how you slowly adjusted to her unavailability. 
Of course, she only has herself to blame. She's determined, however, to rectify it and make it up to you.
Which is when the idea strikes her. The dream vacation to Hawaii that both of you often fantasized about but never took due to financial constraints and a tight schedule. With the money from her teaching job, she now has the means to turn that dream into a reality. A surprise trip might be the perfect remedy to rekindle the connection that has worn out due to your busy lives and... her unfaithfulness. 
She knows it doesn't atone for her sins, but it's a step in the right direction.
-
It should have been the perfect day for her surprises. She has two of them—the surprise trip and the news of her resignation from the university. She had just handed you the box with all the Hawaii trip details, and you were about to dive in, when there was a knock at the door. 
Two men in dark suits have arrived at the house, looking for her. Detectives—Rogers and Barnes. Wanda uncovers the real reason behind Vision's absence from school, and it wasn't due to personal family matters or a decision to pursue education elsewhere.
He's been in an accident, and they suspect foul play.
Their questions start off simple, touching on the basics. But soon, they feel like piercing arrows as they delve into the phone calls between them, how close they were, and if she ever set foot in his apartment. Throughout the interrogation, Wanda manages to keep a straight face, though deep down she knows she probably can't fool detectives of their caliber. Yet, she silently prays that you don't see past her mask.
“That’s enough,” you interject firmly. “My wife has answered your questions. Unless there’s anything else directly related to your investigation, I believe we’ve covered everything.”
Your intervention when their questions grow more intrusive suggests she's managed to keep you in the dark. The realization that you're still on her side floods her with immense relief.
“Very well. Thank you both for your time,” Rogers says.
But Wanda isn’t done. She has her own questions. She needs to know if Vision's involvement with her is the reason they're here, probing. She wonders if he might have informed the authorities about their inappropriate relationship, and if that somehow relates to his current situation.
“Wait!” Wanda exclaims, her chest rising and falling rapidly. She contemplates asking her burning questions, but with you observing from the side, she suppresses her urge to do so. Instead, she conveys her worry—she is, after all, his teacher.
“Is he… is he okay?”
Wanda's complexion turns ashen upon catching the look on Barnes' face, instantly realizing he's fully aware of her and Vision's relationship. She can barely hear Roger's response, her blood rushing in her ears.
“…that he’s stable. However, he remains in a coma. It’s uncertain when or if he’ll wake up, but let's hold onto hope.”
Oh.
Her secret's safe—for now. But she... she has to be certain. She needs to tie up any loose ends, if there are any.
-
It's reckless to visit Vision's apartment in daylight, especially right after a visit from the police.
Exiting her car, Wanda's sandals softly scrape against the ground. She pauses to scan her surroundings, her gaze flitting from one building to another. The neighboring houses and apartment complexes stand silent, their stillness almost eerie, as if they've been forsaken. She knows that not many reside in this part of the town, a fact that had made Vision's apartment an ideal hideaway for their secret meetings. 
She cautiously approaches Vision's unit, her hand shaking slightly as it reaches for the door knob: locked. A memory surges—Vision handing her a spare key during one of their early encounters. Retrieving it from her bag, she hesitantly fits it into the lock, preparing herself for what she might find beyond the door.
It opens with a muted creak, and a blanket of darkness envelops her. Hesitating at the threshold, she fumbles for a light switch, her fingers brushing against the cool wall before finding it. She'd half-expected Vision's belongings to be packed up, perhaps by a landlord who wanted to move on from the situation. But everything appears untouched, as if frozen in time; dust hasn't settled, and the items scattered about give no indication that the place has been vacant for weeks. It occurs to her that the ongoing investigation might be the reason the apartment remains untouched.
Wanda moves quickly, knowing she shouldn’t linger. Heading straight to the bathroom, she swiftly gathers her toothbrush and a few other personal items she had left behind. As she emerges, her gaze is drawn to the corner where Vision's easel stands. It used to hold a portrait of her, a work he'd wanted to submit for his final project, capturing her in a light she had never seen herself. But now, it’s empty.
A cold rush of panic seizes her. She clutches the edge of a table, her breaths coming in short, ragged gasps. Had Vision decided to move the painting for some reason? Or worse, had the detectives seen it and taken it as evidence? The painting wasn’t just art; it was tangible evidence of their affair. 
But then, in the midst of her mounting fear, a memory jolts her—there was another painting, the one Vision had purchased from the gallery where she used to work. With a newfound urgency, she hurries to his bedroom. The scene is disarrayed, with sheets and pillows strewn about. Ignoring the mess, Wanda goes directly to the cabinet where she remembered he last stored it. She yanks open the doors, and her eyes dart around, searching, but the painting is nowhere to be found.
Desperation grips her. If the detectives come across either painting, they'd have more reasons to scrutinize her further than she's comfortable with. Such involvement would be near-impossible to hide from you. Wanda proceeds with caution, scanning the apartment for any lingering items that could connect her to Vision. Unexpectedly, she finds a piece of her lingerie nestled within his sock drawer. Swiftly, she snatches it up. Before departing, she meticulously wipes away any fingerprints from the surfaces she's touched, then dashes to her car. 
Once inside, she pauses to draw several deep, steadying breaths. It's overwhelming to think that this is now her reality, teetering on the brink of exposure.
-
She eventually finds herself falling off the edge when she discovers Natasha’s email on your laptop, mere moments after the crushing realization that you hadn’t bothered to open her gift.
Her instinct is to craft a lie. She searches her mind rapidly, trying to come up with a plausible excuse for the intimate handhold. Maybe she could say it was an old friend from the past, or perhaps a distressed student she was comforting. But one glance at the photo and she knows, deep down, that any excuse would fall flat. The way Vision looks at her, with such unmistakable affection and wonder, betrays any innocence she might claim. Trying to explain this to you or anyone else would be an exercise in futility. 
Wanda had played out various scenarios in her mind about how you might discover the truth, but she never imagined it would be through seeking the expertise of your best friend. It was perhaps naive, but she had hoped you wouldn’t notice anything or, if you did, that you'd confront her about it.
But why would you come to her? She's been pushing you away for months, and the only time she truly showed you how much you mean to her was when she was so relieved that she wouldn't be carrying the consequences of her indiscretions in her womb.
In case you need them, the subject of the email says. Need them for what? Wanda wonders. From the way Natasha worded the message accompanying the photos, it doesn't appear you're just discovering the truth now.
No, it seems that you’ve known for a while. Which means—
The pieces fall into place, a chilling realization creeping over her. Wanda's breath catches as she pushes the laptop away, her hand coming up to cover her mouth. The way you had carried yourself, especially around the police—it was far too serene, too measured. When they mentioned Vision's name, you didn't so much as flinch or even show a flicker of surprise.
Her heart beats painfully against her ribs. The calm demeanor, the calculated way you’d been moving about—it wasn't out of ignorance. You knew. And for how long? The thought terrifies her. How many days or weeks has she been living this lie while you watched, silently knowing everything?
Your silence, amplifying her betrayal, eats away at her conscience. The quiet before the storm, she thinks. And she's right in the middle of it.
-
“Wanda?”
She’s hiding in the bathroom, staring at her reflection in the mirror, practicing a smile and a thousand more expressions even though she's barely holding it together.
“Wanda.”
She couldn't shake the thought of you knowing. Did you have any involvement in Vision's accident? You've never intentionally hurt even the smallest creature, let alone another human being, right?
“Wanda!” 
She nearly leaps out of her skin as the bathroom door slams open, and you stare back at her, looking just as startled and taken aback.
“Hey,” she says, forcing a smile.
You narrow your eyes at her, and she shivers under your intense scrutiny.
“Are you okay? You’ve been in here for almost an hour.”
Wanda nods quickly. “I'm fine.”
You continue to watch her for a moment, before saying, “Alright.”
Just as you're about to step away, Wanda remembers the plans for later. “About the dinner tonight,” she starts hesitantly, “with your colleagues from the bank... should we cancel?”
She's desperately hoping you'd say yes. She can't bear not knowing what's going on in your mind. The way you act as if everything's normal is suffocating her. Does she even still know the real you? Every moment you're not cursing her out or confronting her betrayal feels like an eternity.
But you shake your head. “No, let's do it. We already promised them.”
Wanda's heart sinks a little, but she nods in understanding.
“I'll go grab some wine real quick,” you say before leaving the bathroom, leaving Wanda alone once again with her thoughts.
-
Later, as the last of the guests leave, she's certain you've picked up on her distress, noticing how you kept glancing at your watch and drifting out of conversations. She senses your gaze on her as she escorts Scott and his wife to the car, acutely aware you're observing her every move from the bedroom window. 
Though they're older than both you and Wanda, they've only been hitched for two years. Wanda can't help but wonder if maybe things are smoother for them because they waited to get married. But then a familiar warmth washes over her. The memory of how deeply in love she was with you surfaces. Even if you had waited six years to propose, she’s sure that had you suggested it within the first few months of dating, she would've said yes in a heartbeat. 
Truth be told, she doesn't regret it now, the timing of it, and everything in between.
All she's uncertain of is how tonight will unfold.
-
The house lies shrouded in an inky stillness, almost like it’s holding its breath. She carefully climbs the stairs to the bedroom you both share, one uncertain step at a time. The door is slightly open, and you're standing by the window, your silhouette thin and brittle. 
“What happened, Y/N?” she asks as she stops a few feet from you. Your eyes are closed, and your body trembles. Though she should be consumed by fear, her only desire is for you to open your eyes, hoping to find the person she fell in love with over a decade ago still there. 
“What did you do? Did you cause his ‘accident’?” she continues. But you remain silent, unmoving.  “Y/N?”
Still, nothing. Wanda is slowly but surely losing her sanity.
“Did you hurt him? You did, didn’t you? Jesus, Y/N. Talk to me,” Wanda pleads, and then out of desperation she screams, “Tell me what you did!”
“No!” You roar with a primal intensity, reminiscent of a wounded animal in the wild, and the sheer force of it makes Wanda recoil. But she doesn't move away from you. Not at this crucial moment, when she senses how close she is to losing you. “You tell me what you did!”
You stalk towards her menacingly, until you're mere breaths away, and Wanda wants to reach out and touch you, but she knows she'll be burned.
“How you fucked him over and over and over! How you lied to me… over and over and over,” you tell her brokenly.
“Y/N, please–” 
“Don’t. You don’t get to talk to me now,” you say, tears gathering at the corners of your eyes. “You didn’t think I’d know? I wouldn’t feel it? I knew from the very first night. Because I know you, Wanda. Every thought. Every look. Every fiber of your being. I know you and I fucking hate you! I didn’t want to hurt him, I wanted to hurt you!”
The confirmation she's been dreading, along with the murderous glint in your eyes, saps the color from Wanda’s face. “Oh my god,” she chokes out, hand clamping over her mouth in horror. “Y/N…”
You try to walk away, but your legs give out, and you crumple to the ground, knees first, like a puppet with its strings cut. The tears flow freely now, unburdened by pride or anger. A raw, guttural sob escapes your lips, echoing the pain in your chest. Wanda, too, collapses, a mirror reflection of your despair, her body shaking as sobs rack her frame.
How could she have ever been afraid of you, especially knowing what you've been through? Beneath it all, she sees the woman she deeply loves, now appearing so fragile and torn apart, all because of her own mistakes. “I'm so sorry...” she whispers, her apology a mere drop in the ocean of hurt between you.
“Was there anyone else aside from him?” you ask suddenly, looking at the carpeted floor before you.
“No,” Wanda answers earnestly.
You offer a wry smile. “He must be really special then.”
She frantically shakes her head. He's not. No one is. It's always been—
“Do you love him?”
“No,” Wanda responds hastily, almost too hastily for your taste. And by the look on your face, she's crushed by the realization that no matter what she says next, your trust in her words may be irrevocably broken. “I thought I did, but no,” she admits. She can't bear the thought of deceiving you further and aims to leave no question unanswered.
“Did you…” you start, staring intently at the ceiling, and Wanda knows exactly what you’re asking even before it comes out of your mouth. The fact that you have to ask leaves her utterly heartbroken. 
“...ever love me?”
This was her doing. The very second she acted on impulse and succumbed to temptation was when she truly lost you.
“I love you,” Wanda murmurs, her tear-filled eyes meeting yours, stubborn for her words to reach you. “I know how fucked up that sounds to you right now. But I do, I love you, Y/N.”
“You love me?” your voice falters, making you wince. “You have a truly unique way of showing it.”
How does she prove it? How can she make you believe? Wanda scrambles for tactics, for miracles, for a do-over.
“After all this,” you continue, “you might as well have killed me. Being dead might be painless compared to this.”
“Baby, please don't say that,” Wanda's voice breaks, choked by tears she can't hold back. She feels the urge to reach out, her fingers itching to touch you. 
“You don’t get to call me that anymore. Even hearing you say my name makes me sick.” Your voice is steady, each word dripping with cold resentment.
“You can stay,” you say after a while. Wanda senses a fragile hint of hope blossoming within her. But it's quickly crushed when you add, “Stay in this house, for as long as you need. But I'm leaving.”
And it’s here where the panic sets in. The realization that she's on the brink of losing you entirely, not just emotionally but physically as well, hits Wanda like a freight train. The walls of the room seem to close in on her, and the weight of her decisions and mistakes press heavily on her shoulders, making her feel as if she's sinking.
“No,” she whispers. “Please, don't go.”
You start to slide your wedding ring off, and that’s when Wanda loses it. She launches herself at you, capturing your lips into a heated kiss. In the split-second it takes for the golden loop to slip off your finger, a flood of memories rushes over Wanda—the scent of rain as it patters on the roof of the reception, the song playing in the background as you and Wanda sway to your first dance as a married couple, the warmth of your hand intertwined with hers. Those fragments play in a demented, rapid slideshow, and time stretches and contracts, maddeningly so.
For Wanda, it feels like someone's drilled a hole in the base of her skull, letting all the sorrow rush in like a merciless flood. Everything else is white noise. For that brief instant when her lips slot against yours, you don’t push her away. Wanda pours everything she has into this kiss, hoping you'll feel her truth in it. But then, before she even has the chance to deepen it, you’re pulling away and it’s—
It’s over.
Stubborn as always, Wanda tries to hide in your neck, and you feel her tears sliding down your throat. She clings to you with all her might, holding on for as long as she can. But when she feels you gently place your wedding ring into her palm, her face crumples with a pain so profound, she knows she may never recover from it. And then you begin to rise, lifting yourself from the floor. As she instinctively clings to your leg, you take another step, causing Wanda to stumble forward from the sudden loss of support.
“This can't be the end. It just can't,” Wanda murmurs to herself like a mantra, as if repeating it will change the course of reality. She's almost certain you hear her, but it doesn't change your stride; you just keep walking away.
The ring burns in her palm, a searing reminder that her promise of loving and cherishing you always means nothing to you now.
-
Wanda can't quite figure out how, but you've chosen to remain in the guest bedroom for the evening. She'd heard the engine of your car roar to life, but then it fell silent after just a few moments. Peering out, she’d seen you stepping out of the car, phone pressed to your ear.
Who had you been talking to? An intense curiosity had consumed Wanda, making her wonder who had been on the other end of that call. In the short window they'd been estranged—no, just temporarily separated, because Wanda refused to believe that you'd entirely lost your affection for her—could there have been someone else? Someone waiting in line for their turn?
Now, she stands hesitantly in front of the guest bedroom door, hands clenched in her sides,  torn between giving you space and continuing to fight for her marriage. She's torn, but not clueless. It's not just about barging in or holding back; it's about the aftermath. She stands there, frozen, trying to figure out which move won't blow everything to smithereens. Because the time she has with you is running out and there might not be a tomorrow. 
Or a you and her. Ever again.
Wanda finally sinks to the floor, her back flush against the cold, indifferent wood of the door. Sparky, pads over, his little claws making almost no sound against the floor. He nestles himself on her lap, making his bed there for the night. She wraps her fingers around his soft fur, his warmth seeping into her, but his presence is a double-edged sword. As much as she adores him, he's going to be the only thing of you she gets to keep, and it's going to be a painful reminder from here on out.
In an act of despair, she presses an ear flat against the door, searching for the tiniest murmur, the faintest shuffle. Anything to tell her what's happening on the other side of this barrier. A barrier that was never there before. She's on the outside, and the thought that you're moving on, building a life sans her, is terrifying.
It's a cruel irony, she realizes.  Here she is, just a few inches from you, yet completely and utterly in the dark. And so, she sits, hoping against hope, that at some point during the night, she'd hear the door creak open, and you’d scoop her in your arms and take her back.
She waits, because that's what love does—it waits, even in the darkest of times.
-
The next morning, Wanda wakes up, surprised to find herself in a bed instead of on the hard, cold floor. She doesn't recall making the trip, but the idea that you cared enough to ensure she slept on something warm and comfortable almost makes her heart leap out of her chest. 
However, her happiness is short-lived as she opens the closet and discovers that some of your things are missing. To a stranger, the differences wouldn't be obvious, but she knows which shirt and trousers you chose, and she understands the implication. It means you won't be returning tonight, and perhaps not tomorrow either. When she goes to the bathroom, she finds only one toothbrush, and that's enough to make tears well up in her swollen eyes once more.
-
“Thanks for picking up,” Wanda says, her fingers gripping the phone tight, holding onto it like she’s drowning and it’s her only lifeline.
“Well, you've called enough times. Figured I'd give you a break,” Natasha's voice, though distant, is biting, as frigid as the coldness that Wanda has been feeling in her bones these past days.
“I need to know where she is. Please.”
A sigh on the other end, followed by a chilling silence. “You think after everything, you still have the right to know her whereabouts?”
“She's still my wife,” Wanda counters, but it’s weak.
“She was your wife,” Natasha fires back, unrelenting. “The last I checked, people who love their partners don't sleep with college kids.”
The words hit Wanda harder than any physical blow could. She's taken aback, gasping for air as if she's been sucker-punched.
“I—”
“She loved you,” Natasha continues ruthlessly, “more than you ever deserved. And you threw it away, for what? Some fleeting thrill?”
Loved? Past tense? Had Natasha just assumed—
Or was that word coming directly from you?
Pushing down the slightest twinge of sympathy that threatens to surface, Natasha picks up on Wanda's faint, broken breaths on the other end. She can tell Wanda's on the verge, and it's familiar, too familiar.  It's almost exactly the sound she caught when she was on the phone with you the other night.
“I never meant for this to happen,” Wanda barely manages to say.
“Well, it did,” Natasha snaps, her voice cold. “Intentions don’t change actions. And actions have consequences.”
Wanda’s voice comes off a little strong this time, thick with conviction. “Maybe I deserve this, Natasha. Maybe it’s my time to pay for all the wrongs I’ve done.”
“You think?” Natasha scoffs.
“But you... you’ll never get it. You’ll never understand why I can’t just let go, why I can’t give up on her,” Wanda says.
“And why’s that?”
Wanda's voice trembles with the knowledge that what she's about to say is a cheap blow.  “Because you've never been married. You've never committed yourself to someone in the way I have with her.”
That stings, and Natasha can feel her own anger rising.
“Don’t think for a second that just because I’m not married, I don’t understand commitment, pain, or betrayal,” she says, voice low and measured.
Wanda swallows hard. “I didn't mean to—”
“Of course you didn't. But here we are, yet again,” Natasha cuts her off. She sighs, leaning back in her chair, “I’m not telling you where she is. She needs time, Wanda. Time away from you. If she wants to talk, she’ll find you.”
That's the last thing Wanda wants. She worries that distance will solidify your resolve, turning her from an immediate regret to a distant afterthought.
“I need to see her, Natasha,” Wanda pleads, “Just tell me where she is.”
“Why? So you can make things even worse?”
After a tense pause, Wanda plays her last card, “Remember that night after we all went out? The night you and Bruce...” she trails off, not needing to complete the sentence.
Natasha stiffens, instantly knowing where this is headed. “Don’t you dare, Wanda.”
Wanda forges on, “I never told anyone, never used it against you. I kept your secret. You owe me, Natasha.”
The feeling of Bruce's hand against her cheek, the humiliation, the denial—all of it comes rushing back. She never thought Wanda would throw that night back in her face.
“You're really going there?” Natasha laughs hollowly. 
“I’m desperate, Natasha. I love her. I can’t lose her,” Wanda’s voice breaks.
The line goes quiet, stretching seconds into what seems like hours. Finally, Natasha exhales heavily, the weight of the decision clear in her tone. “I'll give you an address. Show up, try to talk to her, but if she asks you to leave, you respect her wishes. Understand?”
Wanda swallows dryly. She knows Natasha can enforce her terms if she wants, which means she has no other choice but to comply. “Understood.”
Natasha's parting words would later linger in her mind for hours.
“This doesn't mean I've forgiven you or that she ever will. But you get your shot. Make it count.”
-
Wanda’s been standing outside the diner for what feels like a long time. She hopes her outfit—a parka over a crisp white v-neck and high-waisted jeans—makes a good impression. A glance in the reflection of the diner’s window confirms her red hair looks glossy and radiant, cascading in waves down her back.
Time and time again, Wanda had turned over every conceivable strategy to win you back. But in the end, they all hinged on the one thing she feared most: agreeing to a divorce. The very thought threatened to break her from the inside, but her desperation to make things right, to show you that she's changed, made this painful decision a necessary one. Wanda had taken so much from you, taken everything you had to offer and discarded it carelessly. Now, it was her turn to give something back, even if it meant letting you go, legally.
She tells herself, repeatedly, that their love story isn't defined by a marriage certificate. They won't end just because their marriage does.  She had to believe this; it was the only way she could find the strength to move forward. 
Steeling herself, Wanda takes one step forward. Another. Until finally, she’s there.
“Hey,” Wanda greets, doing her best to sound casual as she slides into the booth opposite you.
You give a nonchalant nod, mouth full of your Reuben sandwich. “Hi, Wanda.”
The scent of your cologne is the first thing that hits her, and it’s... different. This one's sharper, crisper, with a hint of citrus, perhaps. It's as if you're purposely shedding parts of yourself that she's grown accustomed to, distancing yourself in the most elemental ways. There's a new watch on your wrist, sleeker than the one she gifted you on your last anniversary. Even the way you hold yourself seems altered, shoulders squared and posture more rigid. Every detail screams of a transformation, a conscious effort to morph into someone she wouldn't recognize. 
But why? To hurt her? To move on? To forget? All of the above? It's been just a week, yet the differences are already evident. Wanda dreads to think how much more will change if she goes months without seeing you.
This isn’t going to be easy, and that’s putting it mildly. “Sorry for cornering you like this. You rarely return my calls and it’s been almost impossible to match our schedules,” Wanda admits.
You concentrate on chewing your food, trying to appear perfectly disinterested in what she’s saying. As you take another bite of your sandwich, Wanda studies her intently, looking for any fleeting sign of emotion, but there’s nothing there but a chilling detachment.
“Natasha told me you’re already talking to divorce lawyers,” she continues. She's woken up next to you for more than a decade; she’s not easily deterred by the display of indifference. “If you’re decided that it’s what you really want, then I’ll give it to you. I’ll cooperate.”
“Okay.” 
Wanda notices the fleeting moment your eyes dart to her left ring finger before you quickly look away.
“I, uh, got something for you,” she says. 
“No, thanks.” 
Wanda’s heart sinks as you dismiss her before even knowing what it is. Determined, she pulls out the small ring box and places it on the table, feeling a pang in her chest. “But it belongs to you,” she murmurs.
“What’s this?”
“It’s your wedding ring,” she says, pointing out what you already know. Your expression darkens, frustrated that she misses the underlying meaning of your question—not about the ring itself, but rather its significance right now.
For a split second, Wanda harbored a fragile hope that seeing the ring might stir something within you. 
But then you're shaking your head, beginning to say, “I don’t want—”
“I understand,” she says, her shoulders sagging as she leans back into the booth. “But I'm returning it to you, and I’m keeping mine. What you decide to do with it is up to you. However, holding onto it on your behalf isn't something I can do.”
The ring she slipped onto your finger five years ago held all her promises, all her devotion to you. So it hurt that you no longer accepted that, no longer recognized it as yours. And she didn't want to be the guardian of that pain anymore.
“Fine,” you say, reaching for the tiny box and Wanda releases a heavy sigh of relief.
“So, you've got your ring back, and I'll sign the divorce papers once they're drawn up,” she says, mustering all her courage for what she's going to say next. “And then, I'll come for you.”
She watches in surprise as you nearly spit out your coffee, a few droplets escaping past your lips. As you hurriedly reach for a napkin, Wanda can't help but offer a gentle smile, always finding your occasional clumsiness endearing even in the middle of breaking her heart.
Your wide-eyed stare meets hers, speechless.
Her smile fades slightly, replaced by a melancholic self-awareness. “I didn’t want to believe you when you told me that night that you hated me. But I guess that’s better than indifference.” 
“I don't hate you, Wanda,” you say. She can tell you're telling the truth, and she smiles a little at that.
“You have no idea how much that means to me,” she laments. “Thank you.”
She takes a deep breath, knowing she needs to be clear, to lay everything on the table. “I’m not going to give up on you, Y/N. On us. What we have, and I’ve thought a lot about it, is something I’ll never find in another.”
“I’m not telling you this to get a reaction out of you,” she continues, “I know you’re not exactly thrilled at the idea of me pursuing you, but,” she falters, the first sign of her vulnerability. “This time, I want you to know everything. I don’t want you to be blindsided by my intentions, so I’m giving you a heads-up.” 
“Wands,” you say, the nickname slipping effortlessly from your lips, and she has to fight the instinctual urge to reach for your hand across the table. “You can’t torture yourself like this.” 
“I’m not,” she assures you. “I just refuse to give up on my dream.” She senses the skepticism in your eyes, and she can't blame you, not after everything that happened in the recent weeks. You’re my dream, Wanda had confidently and lovingly written in her vows. The memory of that day, with the weight of those words, is as vivid in your mind as it is in hers.
She's always been the type to hold onto what she loves, never letting go without a fight. But seeing the dark circles under your eyes, the sunken weight of your cheeks, she knows the very sight of her is taking a toll on you. And so, she’s leaving, for your sake. 
“I'll see you soon,” Wanda says, getting up to leave. She hesitates for a moment, considering whether to go for your cheek, if you'll allow her. However, the lack of response from you pushes her to take small, shaky steps toward the door and out of the restaurant.
It isn’t over. Wanda’s made up her mind: she won't give up on you. Maybe she's the villain in this story; and hell, there's probably someone out there, all primed and polished, perfectly poised to love you without the scars and rough edges. Except, she doesn’t care, even if she knows she’ll be diving headfirst into the storm. 
She swears that someday she'll be on her knees, asking you to marry her again.
566 notes · View notes
yelena-bellova · 2 years ago
Text
Twenty Years Later: Joel Miller x F!Reader - Chapter Four
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Chapter Four: Luck
Plot: Joel, Y/n, Tess and Ellie encounter Clickers, and sacrifices are made.
Warnings: tlou ep.2 spoilers, language, violence, gore, blood, guns, death, (16+)
Word Count: 4.4k (what else for chapter 4? lol)
A/N: So the only reason I was able to get this out so fast is because chapter three and this was supposed to be one big chapter. It ended up being too long, so it got split. Please don’t make this your expectation 😂
I love reading all your comments, even if I’m horrible at responding to them. I’ve never had this kind of response to my writing and it’s a lot to keep up with. I, once again, have to reiterate that this is a 16+ series and if your name is not listed on your page, I will not be tagging you. Gotta look out for younger eyes 👀 I hope you enjoy this chapter! There’s no flashback, but a lot of hints about things to come later…I’m a terrible tease 😂🤫 Enjoy!!
———————
The museum doors were covered in fungus.
“This feels like a great plan,” Y/n sarcastically stated.
Joel ignored her disapproval, going ahead and kneeling down at one of the fungal sites. He ran a hand over it before breaking through it with the butt of his rifle.
“It’s bone dry,” he reported, “It could mean they’re all finally dead in there.”
Could was the key word of the sentence. ‘Coulds’ were like ‘probablies,’ hope with barely a breath left in it. The adults all started going through their packs, puling out their flashlights.
“Oh, man…” Ellie muttered.
Joel whipped out his light and looked exepctantly to Ellie, “Marlene pack you one of these, or just sandwiches?”
“Yeah,” Ellie answered, searching through her pack.
Y/n nudged the kid’s arm, drawing her focus. “You stay behind one of us at all times,” she instructed, “Slow and steady. Do not wander. Got it?”
Ellie nodded, “Got it.” When Tess crossed her hands, a gun and a flashlight in each, Ellie took notice. “I have a spare hand.”
“Congratulations,” Joel noted sarcastically.
With her pistol drawn, Y/n watched Joel move forward. It bothered her that he had been leading them the whole way. Their talk on the highway proved he thought he was capable of more than her. He assumed that just because he’d known her when she could afford to be delicate, she couldn’t have possibly grown into a fighter. Setting caution aside, she marched forward to walk parallel to him.
“Get back,” he ordered.
“Get bent,” she grunted.
The four of them moved as silently as they could through the museum’s lobby, posters and signs proving it had once been a landmark. Y/n moved alongside Joel, at one point taking a step ahead of him and finding a corner full of dry Cordyceps.
“We’re good,” she announced.
“Oh, finally,” Tess remarked, “Some fuckin’ luck.”
“I guess we should’ve gone this way in the first place,” Joel acknowledged.
“Oh, shit!” Ellie exclaimed, the three of them ran to join her. She’d broken Y/n’s third instruction like it was nothing.
There lay a body, covered in fresh blood and claw marks through its clothing.
“What the fuck did that?” Ellie inquired.
Y/n, Tess and Joel shared a knowing look.
“Maybe,” Tess’ voice shook as it lowered, “Maybe he was attacked outside and crawled through the doors. The door was open. Could’ve been him. I don’t hear anything.”
“Who would you hear?” Ellie asked.
The adults shushed her, Joel held up a hand.
Ellie lowered her voice, “Who would you hear? Are you saying an Infected did that?”
“Shh,” Tess crooned.
“Because I’ve been attacked by one and it wasn’t like that,” Ellie added.
Joel took a breath, it was all he could allow himself. “Okay, from this point forward, we are silent,” he whispered, “Not quiet…silent.”
“What-“ Ellie began.
“No, no questions,” Joel stopped her, “Just do it.”
Having very little trust in the man who had openly admitted to wanting to kill her, Ellie peered at Y/n, who nodded in solemn agreement. Things had suddenly become very, very real.
The four of them made their way to the museum’s staircase, taking slow steps up the creaking steps. Joel and Y/n made it to the top first, only having to stop when a piece of debris fell in a cloud of dust. They shined their flashlights across the way, a massive piling of death and fungus-covered bodies laying tragically still.
Crunch.
The exes spun around to see Ellie baring her teeth nervously, a skeletal hand below her sneaker. Everyone held their breath. There was creaking coming from above them, every step they took was a step closer to being buried alive.
Joel and Y/n made it into the Independance Hall exhibit, taking stock of their surroundings and coming up clean. Ellie followed with Tess close behind her.
Suddenly, there was a crashing sound; the building was finally giving out. Lightining fast, Y/n surged forward and grabbed Ellie’s arm, pulling her forward as Tess nose dove to the floor. Y/n let go of Ellie to extend a hand to Tess, who braced herself with it and got to her feet. They barely had a second to gather their thoughts before a loud, animal noise echoed through the room.
Then came the clicking.
Y/n and Joel drew their guns together, aiming in the direction the sound had come from. They slowly backed up, Tess and Ellie moving behind them, as the noises drew closer.
Fear can stop a clock, and none of them could tell how long they waited until the snarling, shriveled monster stepped into the room.
Y/n and Joel’s grudge ceased to exist as they moved in sync, silent as the grave they prayed they weren’t about to meet. As their group passed a doorway, more clicking sounded through it. They startled, backing up as the erratic footsteps came closer.
Two. There were two Clickers.
The foursome sought shelter behind a glass display case as the Infected began to roam the room. Each of them were processing the situation spearately, but they needed to move together as one.
Joel saw the fear in Ellie’s eyes, he couldn’t take it from her, but he could prepare her. “They can’t see,” he mouthed, leaning over Y/n, “But they can hear.”
On the other side of the display case, one of the Clickers walked past, shrieking as it jerked around. It had been over a year since Y/n had been this close to one of them, she’d forgotten what it was like. The way experience melted away and fear overtook all your senses.
Joel held up a finger to the three of them. If the Clickers could pass through without noticing them, they could make a straight shot up to the passageway and be gone. Everything rested on how the next thirty seconds went.
Y/n was too afriad to shut her eyes and too scared to face the creature head on. She simply stared ahead, trembling with each sound the monster made.
They listened as it turned the corner of the display case, until it was mere inches from them.
Ellie gasped.
Y/n grimaced.
The creature spun around to them and screamed.
Joel unloaded his rifle on the creature, who reached out and dragged him forward.
“Run,” Joel screamed.
Tess took off with Ellie, shooting at the other Infected before escaping the room. Y/n stayed, firing shots at the creature as it fought Joel. It knocked the rifle out of his hands, leaving him with only his pistol. Y/n was able to wound it enough to momentarily stun it, giving Joel and her time to run away.
They sprinted down the hall, Joel turned around and fired a shot before they dove into the next room. He knocked over a podium, creating an obstacle in the Clicker’s path, buying him and Y/n a few extra seconds. Joel grabbed her wrist and threw them behind a shelving unit.
Now fear, it turns out, is a powerful thing. It can cause people to turn on one another, or it can bring them together. Y/n had spent the last twenty four hours listing all the ways she wanted to kill Joel Miller, but face to face with the reality of losing him, she was doing everything she could to save him. They both were.
Joel’s hands shook as he reloaded his gun, his flashlight tucked between his shoulder and his chin. Y/n stretched her arm out over his chest, her breath trembling in time with his as they waited…
The Clicker was right next to them.
Joel shone his flashlight around the corner, the Infected was a mere ten inches from them. Mercifully, it hadn’t sensed them, and headed around the other side of the shelving unit. Y/n peered through the dusty screens, charted a clear path, and motioned for Joel to come forward. They crouched as they walked, Y/n spotted Ellie hunched against another display case.
Joel and her quickly crossed the space and got down alongside her. Joel looked to his side, signaling for Ellie to follow them around the case. They crawled in the opposite direction, the Clicker only a few feet away from them and but a second from discovering them. It just needed to take a few more steps and then it would be in the other room….
A piece of glass crunched under Joel’s boot.
The three of them stopped.
The Clicker screeched and leapt across the case, tackling them to the floor. Ellie thrashed and yelled as it pinned her down. Joel and Y/n each kept an arm against its chest, pushing it away with their combined strength. Y/n freed her arm from between her and Ellie’s bodies, pressing her gun against the Clicker’s abdomen and shooting it three times. It stunned the monster, giving Joel time to shove it off of them. Y/n shielded Ellie, who was gripping her jacket, and Joel shielded Y/n. Joel aimed his pointed at the Clicker once again, and gunned it down as it ran towards them. He fired a few final shots, just to ensure it was dead.
The second Clicker charged towards them, Joel and Y/n shoved Ellie behind them, no time to draft an attack plan. Saving the day, Tess came from the side and lodged an axe in the Clicker’s head. Thinking quick, Joel left Y/n and Ellie to retake his rifle, firing one shot before a second that did the creature in.
Joel surveyed the Clicker, examining the bloody chunks of fungus laying around its head. Fear was enough to create doubt, even in front of fact.
“You all right?” Joel asked Tess, who was getting to her feet.
“Twisted ankle, but…yeah,” Tess answered.
Y/n turned to Ellie, “Are you okay?”
“Well, I didn’t shit my pants, so…” she responded, glancing around her in case they’d missed one. She stopped and rolled up her sleeve, revealing a bloody mark, “You fucking kidding me?”
Y/n didn’t know whether or not to be scared. Joel knew exactly what to feel.
“I mean, if it was gonna happen to one of us,” Ellie muttered.
Joel didn’t let his anxiety come over him often, but he could feel it building. Tess was tuned into him enough to see it happening.
“Hey,” she coaxed, “Let’s get the fuck outta here.”
The four of them filed out the top window, Y/n offering Tess her hand to help her onto the roof. Joel went to work immediately, pulling out a first aid kit and a piece of cloth.
“Put this around your arm,” Joel instructed Ellie, handing her the cloth. In the chaos, he hadn’t even thought to ask Y/n if she was injured. “You-“
“I’m fine,” Y/n said coldly, eager to settle back into blind hatred.
Ellie made her way to the makeshift bridge, a few wooden planks, and took the first step. “Over there?”
“Yeah, I know,” Joel spoke as he examined Tess’ ankle, “It looks scary.”
“That was scary,” Ellie replied, “This is wood.”
Y/n followed Ellie, her legs steadying more with each step across the divide. In the world they lived in, fear had to pass as quick as a summer storm.
“Are they always like that?” Ellie asked once they were both on the rooftop.
Y/n sighed, “Not at first. I mean, they’re always scary but at the beginning, they look…” she paused, forcing the memories out like a tide in the ocean, “They look normal.”
Ellie hummed, wandering off to the edge of the building. As Joel crossed the plank, Y/n went to stand beside Ellie. The sun was shining gold down on the remnants of Boston, illuminating the good and the bad.
This. This was what still gave Y/n hope. She needed to believe that maybe, maybe, there was a way to restore the world back to its beauty. That was the key difference between her and Joel; she still wanted to find what little good was left out there.
Joel came to stand on Ellie’s other side, peering over at the girl. “Is it everything you hoped for?”
“Jury’s still out,” Ellie gave a half-shrug, “But man, you can’t deny that view.”
Tess rejoined them, walking with new purpose. “C’mon, let’s get there before it’s dark,” she grunted, climbing over the edge and scaling down some siding.
Joel and Y/n stood at the edge of the roof, each staring out into the horizon lost in their thoughts. Their severed connection lived in the space between them, sparking and straining as it tried to pull them together.
But they’d had twenty years of ignoring one another’s memory. It was going to take more than a fight and a sunset to come to any kind of truce.
Y/n silently climbed down the side of the building, leaving Joel on his own. He glanced down at his watch, taking a valued second to himself, before heading down after the rest of them.
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The rest of the way to the State House was spent in quiet suspicion. Everyone watched Ellie with more interest than before, waiting for something to happen.
When they arrived, Y/n spotted the truck that was supposed to transport Ellie and her. There was supposed to be someone outside waiting to meet them and yet, the place looked as deserted as the rest of the city.
Joel glanced at Y/n, silently asking if this was right. She answered with a distant shake of her head as she looked around them. She drew her gun and got up, stepping strategically through the grass. Joel huffed in exasperation, coming out in the open to follow her.
Y/n approached the truck cautiously, her breath already trembling like she’d already seen what lay inside. She ignored Joel practically breathing down her neck as she swung open the vehicle’s door. Empty.
Joel held up a hand to Tess, who stood with her gun aimed and Ellie protected behind her. “Stay back,” he mouthed. When he turned back to Y/n, he found air.
Y/n rounded the vehicle, examining the other side before her eyes and nose were drawn to the ground. There was a bloodied body laying underneath the truck. She knelt before it, whatever had happened to it hadn’t been more than an hour or two ago. The blood was still new, but the flies had already found the poor soul.
Joel was at the rear of the truck, bracing himself for whatever fight lay inside it. He threw the back door open and took a stance, finding the same nothing they had in the cab.
“Joel?” Tess called, coming to join them, “What the fuck is going on?”
“I don’t know,” Joel said, looking around the corner of the truck to Y/n, “What was the plan?”
Y/n sighed and ran a hand through her hair, “Driver was supposed to be waiting here, one or two Fireflies just to verify it was us…we were supposed to jump in the truck and go.”
“They went inside,” Ellie announced, staring at the steps leading to the State House. The three adults peered over to see the bloody footprints painted on the staircase.
“Come on,” Tess grunted, grabbing Ellie’s hand and letting the blood tracks show them the way.
“Tess,” Joel called, Y/n wasn’t waiting for him to call the shots. She jogged up the stairs with the same urgency as his partner. “Tess!”
Tess burst through the doors, holding both Ellie and her pistol in front of her. Y/n flanked Ellie, ready to attack whatever could been lurking in the building. Joel followed the women, exhausted by their recklessness.
What they found was worse than they could have imagined.
Every Firefly body was on the floor, their blood spread across the slick marble.
Y/n could feel her chest cave in on itself. Her comrades, the plan to take Ellie west, hope itself, it all dead lay around her.
Tess showed the same panic Y/n was trying so hard to contain. “Okay, I mean there’s gotta be a fuckin’ radio or something, right?”
“Start looking,” Y/n holstered her gun, running to check the crates, the equipment…anything that could offer them a morsel of chance. If she could get in contact with Marlene, they could form a new plan. She’d take Ellie herself, if necessary, doubts be damned. They couldn’t admit defeat so easily.
“Tess,” Joel called, having already deduced that one Firefly had got infected and it had spread to the others, “What’re you doin’?”
Y/n threw open crates, scouring the contents for a radio, with Tess searching beside her. They both ignored Joel.
“Where did Marlene say you two were going?” Tess asked Y/n.
“Tess-“ Joel tried again.
“Just west,” Y/n answered, her breath quickening, “We were supposed to get the exact location here.”
Tess threw her hands out in exasperation, “Just west. Fuck. Okay…well, one of ‘em’s gotta have a map on them, right?”
Y/n was already examining the bodies without touching them, “Check each one.”
“Joel, can you help us?” Tess impatiently asked, kneeling next to Y/n and searching through the victim’s pockets.
“No,” Joel bellowed, refusing to indulge the fantasy any longer, “Tess, it’s over. We are goin’ home.”
Tess spun around, shooting daggers out her eyes, “That’s not my fucking home!”
Her cry was loud enough to silence the rest of them. Tess hung over one of the bodies, fighting back her tears enough to stand up and face Joel.
“I’m stayin’.”
Y/n stayed on the ground, confusedly watching the scene play out.
“I mean…” Tess almost laughed, “Our luck had to run out sooner or later.”
Joel stood perplexed. Perhaps he’d have figured it out if he had looked in between her words. In her eyes. In her quivering lips.
“Fuck,” Ellie exclaimed, her voice lowering to a whisper, “She’s infected.”
Joel felt the very ground they stood on crack down the middle, a divide separating him and the only person he’d allowed himself to care about in twenty years. The unspeakable plague had finally come for one of them, and it had attached itself to the wrong person.
“Show me,” he muttered.
“Joel,” Tess said softly, taking a step forward. Joel flinched, jumping back an inch away from her. He regretted it immediately, it was pure instinct.
Tess pulled back her jacket and shirt to display the reddening bite mark.
Y/n got to her feet upon seeing the wound, unafraid to close the distance Joel was putting between them. Joel threw out a hand to pull her back, but Y/n smacked it away and placed her fingers around Tess’ wound. In another life, it could have been extremely well done Halloween makeup. She wanted it to be.
“Oops,” Tess tried to smile, “Right?”
Y/n rubbed her fingers against Tess’ shoulder, if these were her last minutes, she wanted her to feel human touch one more time.
“Take your bandage off,” Tess ordered Ellie.
The girl unwrapped the cloth from her arm, showing the adults her newest bite mark. It was already healing.
Tess surged forward and took Ellie’s arm, holding it up to Joel. “Look. Joel? This is real,” she pulled Ellie forward, “Joel, she’s fucking real.”
Joel and Y/n spotted it at the same time: Tess’ hands were beginning to shake.
Tess retracted her arm into her person, her breaths quickening with passion. Passion for a future she would never see.
“I need you to get her to Bill and Frank’s,” Tess stated.
“No,” Joel started to argue, a flurry of emotions hitting him at once. It was real. This was real.
“They’ll take her off your hands,” Tess continued, unstoppable in her pleas, “They’ll handle it from here.”
“No, no, no,” he shook his head, sounding like a child in denial, “I can’t. They won’t take her. They’re not gonna take her.”
“They will,” Tess insisted, “Cause you’re gonna convince them.”
“I’ll take her,” Y/n said from behind Joel, “Tell me where they are and I’ll get her there.”
Tess squeezed her eyes shut, “No, it has to be him,” she looked to Joel, “I never ask you for anything. Not to feel the way I felt, not to-“
“No,” Joel said, a kneejerk reaction. He had spent so long caring for her as much as his grief would allow him.
“Shut the fuck up,” Tess snapped, “Cause I don’t have much time. This is your chance. You get her there, you keep her alive…” she bit back her tears, “And you set everything right. All the shit we did…please say yes, Joel, please.”
Joel could feel what was left of his heart beginning to break. He couldn’t lose anyone else.
A strained gasp from one of the Infected Fireflies echoed behind Ellie, “Oh, fuck!”
With all the tranquility of a piano melody, Joel stepped forward, cocked his pistol and blew a chunk of the one-time human’s brains out.
The strands of fungus began to stretch out around the Infected’s hand. The signal had been sent. Within minutes, hordes of Infected would descend upon the State House.
Joel exhaled, realizing what he’d done and ran to the building’s door. He could hear the distant snarling and choking of the Infected. Whatever pitiful amount of time they’d possessed had just gotten slashed in half.
“How many?” Tess asked calmly.
“All of them,” he reported, “Maybe a minute.”
Y/n took a shaky breath and raised her gun to Tess’ head. Joel was quick to aim his rifle at her head.
“Don’t you fuckin-“
“Do you want me to do it?” Y/n ignored Joel, locking eyes with Tess. It wasn’t an act of anger, it was an act of mercy. She was trying to save what was left of Tess’ life.
Tess shook her head, taking stock of her surroundings and rushing around the room. She tipped over barrels of gasoline and crates of grenades, letting them spill across the floor. Twenty years of sin and her last act was to save. This was Tess Servoupolis. Not her reputation, not who she’d been forced to become to survive…her.
Joel watched, heartbreak etched in each line of his face. He wanted to scream, to cry, to punch, but time had numbed his emotions enough to be able to keep it all inside.
Tess finally came to face Joel, keeping a foot of space between them. She couldn’t handle watching the man she loved move away from her like she was…what she was.
Y/n backed up to stand with Ellie, feeling like they were intruding on an intimate moment.
“Joel…” Tess said his name one last time, knowing just how much weight the words she was about to say carried, “Save who you can save.”
He was holding so much back, so many things he wanted to say, even just to touch her one last time. His grief overwhelmed him, for both women he wasn’t able to save. But if he couldn’t heed Tess’ final wish, he’d never be able to look himself in the mirror again.
Joel took one last look at her, the two of them committing each other’s gaze to memory, and Joel turned on his heel, grabbing Ellie and dragging her away.
“No!” Ellie yelled, hitting Joel’s arm to try and break his grip, “We’re not leaving her! Get off me, you fucker!”
Y/n, let them pass, standing firmly planted in front of Tess. She wanted to say something, but nothing rivaled the weight of the moment. She wanted to thank her for her sacrifice, tell her how sorry she was that she was about to what was to come…something to let her feel some sort of compassion before she lost herself entirely.
“I-“
“Protect her,” Tess urged, staring straight past the Joel and Y/n’s resentment and into her soul, “Protect him.”
Y/n’s breath shook as she considered what Tess was asking of her. She wanted to know the man she loved would live to see the days she wouldn’t. Y/n couldn’t fault her that, it was so easy to care about Joel. If Tess was a better woman than Y/n and had earned that devotion he showered upon a select number of people, she would feel the same devotion to him till death.
Y/n wanted to run in the opposite direction, but she wasn’t so heartless that she wouldn’t obey Tess’ last request. She nodded, pouring out her condolences through her pained stare, and took off the same way that Joel and Ellie had.
Leaving Tess to die.
She found them outside, Ellie still fighting Joel tooth and nail. Y/n pressed her hands to Ellie’s back and urged her forward, running alongside them in a desparate effort to escape the tidal wave of Infected encroaching.
They’d put a safe amount of distance between them and the State House when the building exploded.
Joel wrenched Ellie forward to shield her, letting him and Y/n take the heat of the blast. They drew their guns, waiting for a stray Infected to pass through the violent flames, but none came. Tess had succeeded.
The three of them stayed perfectly still, except for their heaving chests, watching the fire consume the State House. Twenty years ago, Joel would have allowed himself to break down. He would have let his knees hit the dirt, his fists ball and his grief would have spilled out of him as if he was made of it.
Twenty years ago, he could feel whatever he wanted. But to survive, you had to bury your desires with the dead. Joel knew that better than anyone.
And so, skipping the eulogy and going straight for repression, Joel lowered his rifle and walked away.
Y/n, who wasn’t as hardened as her ex-love, could no longer keep her tears at bay. She crouched down in the dirt, pressing her hands to her lips in a praying position, and allowed a silent rain stream down her cheeks. Losing anyone was awful, but losing someone who wanted redemption, who wanted to atone for their sins and leave the world better than they’d found it…that was tragic. Tess had sacrificed herself to save them, to save Ellie, to save a future she could only hope came to pass. Perhaps Joel couldn’t mourn her, Y/n knew his grief was the match that lit his whole being ablaze, but she could. She would.
Ellie stood beside her, tears filling her once-innocent eyes. Her naivety had always been on life support, but it was fading with every minute she spent outside the Wall.
Deciding her momentary memorial would have to serve as enough for Tess, Y/n got to her feet and wiped her eyes. “Come on,” she whispered, her voice strained as she put a hand to Ellie’s back. She led them down the dirt, following Joel’s ghostly silhouette…
————————
TYL Taglist: @bachiracore @stolenxkissess @kayleezra @the-wistful-reader @allthesesonsofbitches @goth-detectives365 @trippovert @rh1nestonecowg1rl @emiliaserpe @khaleesihavilliard @frietiemeloen @gracie7209 @dorck26 @thegirlnextdoorssister @alanis-altair @mariwinns16 @whosscruffylooking @endofthexline @alexiaricciardo @eonnyx @pedrosmexicangf @scarlettequinn @ao-sleepy @toinfinityandbeyonce2 @deanlovescassie @turmoil-ash @sorrowjunky @kpopslur @xxlilyxx90 @midgetpottermills @presidential-facts @scoopsnini @tubble-wubble @jamesdeerest
Joel Miller Taglist: @xsnak-3x @xmoonknightlyx @simplybarnes @stolenxkissess @mandoshoney @alexiaricciardo @eonnyx @deanlovescassie @paintlavillered
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speakofthedebbie · 4 months ago
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by popular demand (re: one person) some radioapple fic recs!! (i hope thats what you meant lol most of the fics i read are just radioapple)
Bedtime Rituals to Try out Before the Next Angelic War by @miribalis
just yes. thousand times yes. so basically my boy luci has some sleep troubles and that somehow leads to a qpr with al look its been a while ok just read it
Managerial Liberties by the same fella
these two tags explain it pretty well
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something that sticks out to me about this is that charlie is actually (reasonably) cold to adam and like. im actually surprised with how little ive seen that. i mean i dont think id be exactly buddy-buddy with my besties killer either. only 3 chaps as of writing but already looking to be a radioapple classic
im not sure if its meant to be read as such but it kinda feels like a squeal to bedtime rituals in a way (edit: not meant to be read as such, just the same vibe)
devils don't fly (don't expect me not to fall) by @corgiss
also just yes. basically a really not cool joke evolves into a blossoming romance because why wouldnt it. (man if i had a nickel for every radioapple fic that had a masquerade that was sabotaged by the vees- *gets shot bc i cant mention osas yet*)
i’ll hold you close (i’ll stay the course) by the same fella
the entire time i was just going "yas king! put that egotistical flatscreen in his place!!". basically luci reminds the overlords who he is and vox shows he can be more of a threat than he lets on.
ykw fuck it just the entire series (i didnt mention i would give anything to not give a shit (but i do) and my perfect rock bottom (my beautiful trauma) because the first one sounded a lil too angsty and ive gotten enough of that from other sources [pointedly glares at Quietly, It Slips Through Your Fingers, Love {also coming up later!}] and the second is (mostly) smut and ive been trying to step back from that because "ive seen worse" isnt a valid excuse for that torture actually)
Of Saints and Sinners by the forever amazing @morningstarwrites!! (if you see this i have a serious question: is this your first time ever writing a fic? because how do you get so much right the first time- [not even beginners luck could explain this level of skill])
i could sing its praises until my death bed but ill hold off so i can explain whats happening. basically after burning down a meeting room several times, luci and al make a deal ("not a deal!", luci laments to the void): they will attempt to be civil and maybe even friendly, and by the end luci will owe al a favour. whats the favour? read it yourself dammit! seriously, 10/10, i am foaming at the mouth till friday (depending on how this goes, that might be tomorrow or today)
Quietly, It Slips Through Your Fingers, Love by Starlit_Rainfall (no tumblr in sight, so AO3) (i. urgfgh. what happened. i was just smiling over the fluff while crossing to go to school. where did it go. where did it gooooo)
if thats anything to go by, the last few chapters have been rough. the fluff feels so far away that i cant even explain what happens. luci was waxing poetic about swimming in maple syrup for al, i remember that much. also emily is there (fallen) tho we havent seen her in a sec. if you read it, warning for the gut punch of angst that starts chap 32 "She/Her" (though the chapter before that, "Should Alastor Know By Now?" ends pretty rough too)
Freely We Serve by @romanaxe
i dont remember how i managed to stumble upon this but im having a great time. basically alastor is a new sinner fresh in hell (but time doesnt matter and the whole cast is still here) and thinks "what better way to gain power than be the personal assistant of the heartbroken king of hell!" features a 6(?) year old charlie and a morally dubious lilith (also i loved eepy al X3)
A Family Forged in Hellfire by Green_Ghostwriter (once again, no Tumblr, so AO3)
this ones a bit newer (10 chaps), is so far mostly exposition and the slowburn pot hasnt even been put on the stove, but as just a hazbin fic in general i see the potential. basically its a 1920s au where heaven decides little charlie doesnt deserve to be raised in hell and is sent to earth with a "foster" family where her actions in life will determine witch realm she will return to after death. her "parents", al and minzy, are given false memories so they can claim the girl as their own and gee i wasnt kidding when i said it was a lot of exposition. erm honestly explaining anymore would tech be spoiling so go read it!
The Red Thread That Binds Us by @scun-gilli
{{future me prefacing this by saying i have no idea where i was going with yesterdays thought process, all you need to know from it was im on chapter 27. also scungilli your comment is making me very worried 😟 well theres no mcd tag so im sure itll fine, right? RIGHT, SCUNGILLI??}}
basically its a king x kings guard au where al and luci grow up together and only grow closer after a. certain life event for al (its fine guys trust :)) [she said, like a liar]) then al is sent of for royal guard training school (ik its not called that i forgor 😭) but dw he comes back. just watch out for graphic depictions of injuries (i think thats this fic) angst and a sneaky eve bc radioapple fics are allergic to happiness (or maybe im not looking hard enough lol) (also im really tempted to make the friendship bracelets they had 👀)
somewhere down the line by kj_crwm (AO3 link)
this one starts off as human!alastor/lucifer but by the middle(?) its just regular radioapple. basically al is encountered by luci while finishing off a job who agrees to keep quiet. luci just keeps on showing up, reveals hes the devil to which al us just like "lol ok" and eventually they get in a relationship (ooh lala 👀) but they break up after saying some hurtful things to each other (oh nono 👀) with luci promising al they will never cross paths again. if you watched the show then well. you know that doesnt happen 😂 most human!al radioapple have al summon him (no hate to them) so this was an interesting change of pace
cannot stress it enough but this is a WORKING list i WILL be coming back to it bc these are purely the fics i could think if off the top of my head. IN FACT, if any of you have radioapple fics you love, SEND THEM THE FUCK IN! i am one person whos only been in this fandom for 4 months, and reading fics/shipping radioapple even less, theres bound to be some ones i missed that you think are Worthy™️! and if theyre nsfw then at the very least it shouldnt be the main focus
EDIT: so sorry anyone who reblogged this before had to see the disgusting unedited version. literally just found out that tumblr doesnt apply edits to reblogs. what the fuck
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blueskittlesart · 8 months ago
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begging and pleasing to hear more abt the colosseum au pls
oh jesus. most of it is in its tag but. okay so for context this whole thing started because a conversation between me and the only person in the world who gets botw like i do @eggymegs when we were. seventeen years old. because we were (are) both insanely obsessed with botw and the covid lockdowns had just started so rather than coping in a normal way we were exploring and analyzing the entire map. for whatever reason we latched onto the coliseum as a setting full of a lot of potential and based on that initial conversation i drafted an au where link ran away after finding the master sword and hid in plain sight as a gladiator. It was one of my first real forays into comic writing and a lot of it was kind of messily executed because i was 17 but it was also the first time i'd ever seriously tried to write a comic with like. real underlying themes and a POINT to its narrative so it was definitely sort of a gateway endeavor for me. I would definitely consider the first chapter (posted 4 years ago today lol) my first-ever black-and-white zelda comic, which is the type of content that i'd say i'm most known for nowadays lol. There are elements in that au that inspired/led to basically every comic in my zine, however indirectly, so it definitely still holds a special place in my heart. I still enjoy the story and concept too, although there are certain things i might do differently now. I never quite got to the climax of what I had planned before I lost interest and moved on to other things, though, so if you do go looking for it know that it isn't and probably won't ever be a full story, it was more like a fun little writing/art exercise for me lol. occasionally I'll go back to thinking about it just because i still find the story and characters i created interesting and think there's something worth exploring in them, but i can't promise any real new content or resolution lol
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mushiemellows · 2 months ago
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✨UPDATED!✨
All of my Frobin fics I have written from December 2023 when I first started writing, up through my most recent work posted October 2024, stored in one convenient place! 🌸
🍔 Staying Right Here (and not a step closer)
RATING: E
words: 317,056 status: COMPLETE chapters: 14
Set the week Post-Enies Lobby. The core lore mostly canon compliant getting together fic. Weird sex, fast food, and an accidental wedding. My first big fic, and an adventure into writing smut. Epilogues go up through timeskip/Fishman Island reunion.
🐊 These Foolish Things
RATING: M
words: 14,178 status: ONE SHOT
Includes the Wanihana ship to tell a story of Robin's healing over time. A songfic that uses a whole catalog of Frank Sinatra songs to frame Franky and Crocodile's differing relationships to Robin. A bit more serious, as it discusses abuse. This one was a practice in writing in complex tense.
✈️ Floating Through the Stratosphere
RATING: E
words: 30,742 status: COMPLETE chapters: 2
Modern day airplane pilot AU except they are only rarely on the plane. Half one-bed-rom-com, half amnesia medical drama. This was a really fun world to build up, and I've been considering writing more stories within this world.
🕵🏻‍♀️ The Sunday Affair
RATING: E
Words: 68,078 status: ONGOING chapters: 8 (/10)
Robin is a Russian spy, Franky is an American spy. Its 1967 Cold War DC. Franky is assigned to find and kill an assassin named Sunday, Robin has to assassinate an agent named Flam. Oh, and they're married.
⏱ Another Day in the Sun
RATING: T
words: 43,413 status: ONGOING chapters: 7/ ???
The crew is stuck in a time loop, living the same day over and over again, but only some can tell. Matchmakers Robin and Franky have to get everyone to kiss each other. A thinly veiled fun little excuse to make everyone make out. And also its a bit (lot) poly (Paradise+EB5). An adventure in keeping things T.
🍼 Super Troupers
RATING: M
words: 11,130 status: ONGOING chapters: 1 (/3)
A baby fic! Chapter 1 is mostly set up, pregnancy, and delivery. But I'm still working at the follow up chapters, I want to tell more little stories with each of the boys. A bit sweet and sappy and emotionally indulgent but I don't care I love this fambly. M rating only for blood and a few intense discussions around pregnancy.
⚡️ What Makes a Man
RATING: M
words: 47,592 status: ONGOING chapters: 14 (/20?)
Putting the Franky in Frankenstein. A reanimation fic. Franky dies at Laugh Tale but leaves behind instructions for Robin to put him back together. Mainly meant to be little pocket character studies. BACK FROM THE DEAD, NOT ABANDONED FIC! I told ya I'd update it.
💀 For the Thrill of It
RATING: E
words: 46,551 status: COMPLETE chapters: 2
Nasty spooky Thriller Bark monsterfucker erotica. Brook joins the party and things get Weird. 5+1 but more like a 5+2. Established Frob with added skeleton. Chapter 2 has now been added, Robin's pov + bonus scenes. And perhaps a chapter 3 still lives in the back of my brain.
🤖 Handle With Care
RATING: E
words: 13,365 status: ONE SHOT
More nasty erotica for the sake of itself. Franky gets hurt, needing significant repairs and a full service tune up. This one is distinctly T4T. This one was written simply because no one else had written like, proper robot shit with Franky on ao3 and I was so appalled to see the hole in the market that I just HAD to fill it.
🧰 Showoff (the devil’s in the details)
RATING: E
words: 16,929 status: ONE SHOT
Even MORE pwp. Post-Egghead on the run to Elbaf, Franky shows Lilith Sunny and all of his little inventions. Things heat up between him, her, and Robin, but Vegapunk keeps all the praise to herself. This one was written in gut reaction to the most recent chapter, and I think I wrote it for entirely personal reasons lol. Franky just wants to be told he did a good job.
That's all I wrote! 610,000 words this year (of just my posted fics, not counting other works and wips) (and 45,000 words posted Halloweek alone!). I'm really proud about how my writing has developed over the year, I hadn't written much in the past so this was a huge journey, but a really fun one. Thanks for growing with me! Enjoy the works!
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thewrothode-if · 2 months ago
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Okay so i played aloooot today.
1stly. Welcome back officially lol i know you've been back on tumblr for a bit but i honestly did miss your writing alot and it was a big treat to read. Thank u!
2ndly why the fuck did no one tell me we got 2 more ROs??? I was like who the fuck is this guy 😭🤣
3rdly, jesus. But the variables, tho. The difference between playing a male vs. female MC is soooo vast. The level of respect, the dialog, and the vibe are so much more nuanced being a female MC because i feel it's even worse with our daddy dearest resembling our mother. I do like the male MC doing enemies or more a one-sided enemy lmao to lovers route with our fathers favorite Gungir, tho because i hate him so much more as a dude than as a girl.
And he's so damn baby girl coded it's annoying to not like his ass. 🙄
Thyra is so rude to my poor MC. Like girl i didn't say shit! 😒
And Anne is the sweetest omg i fucking love her.
I am so thankful you implemented the turning off heart options because i flirted with too many people again.. so i started over.
And thank u for giving us so many save slots. Because i don't know how people play with 3 or 5 when you have so many variables in the game or so many ROs. I appreciate u!
I played so many different versions. Like i found a pendant then i didnt and cldnt figure out how the fuck i got that in the first place. Then i found the weird cloth and got lost and people called me mad. And i wanted to deck that annoying ass dude. And the fight vs the non fight and how you only get it on a single route is so cool. I like that none of what you wrote was mere copy and paste!
This was an experience and a joy and i stand by what i initially said i love all the ROs but be it a male or female MC i would kill all of them out my way when Raud shows up. ❤️😍
You did so well, and i loved every second of it, and i am really glad to be able to consume your writing once more. Truly 😇✨️🙌
You are literally the light of my day, the light of my life. Thank you so much for being so excited about what I write! I love you so much man.
There are A LOT of variables and I fear there will be a lot more. You can't stop me.
I speak with my whole chest when I say this, Gungir is literally the most babygirl coded man I have ever written. It's insane and I love it. And Thyra is rude, but please there's a reason behind it. 😭 Now I'm soo excited to write the scene where you meet Raud in the next chapter!!!
All I have to say is that the main skill you choose in the prologue is very VERY important. There is a lot you can miss, but also a lot you can gain. I wanted to make every choice matter, but my addiction to variables is something I need to keep in check. HELP ME.
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queenlua · 2 months ago
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what would you recommend as a first Fire Emblem game to play? do i just pick up the latest one, or does an older one capture the True Fire Emblem Experience(tm) better? sorta like Super Metroid still being my absolute favorite of that series…
iiiiiinteresting question, huh! it probably depends somewhat on what you think you'll like / care about the most in a Fire Emblem game?
my personal first FE game was Sacred Stones & i think that's still a really good place to start. the spritework is *gorgeous*; i personally think it's the visual peak of the series. it's got the core "old-school" FE gameplay but with lots of nice quality-of-life improvements (as compared to e.g. something like FE4 or FE7), and the story is my second-favorite in the series after the Tellius games—just a good core emotional core with really well-drawn characters and support conversations.
the drawback is that it's on GBA, so if you don't have one of those lying around (or some other handheld to play it on), you're stuck playing it on an emulator on a computer, which i think hampers the enjoyment somewhat—like, i played a lot of that game in "in-between" moments, while on the bus, etc, and it was really excellent for that. also: it's on the easier side! which i didn't mind; i find the FE game loop enjoyable both when i'm just cruising through baddies AND when i'm having to tightly & rigorously strategize every move. but i know a couple people who stopped playing because they found it too easy & got bored
i do think the Gamecube/Wii FEs (Path of Radiance and Radiant Dawn, aka the Tellius games) hold up really well. obviously i am a little insane about them *stares at fanfiction output* and thus clearly biased, but the character writing is shockingly good & rich (sometimes despite itself, lol), and the gameplay's real fun! reasonably challenging while not making you want to throw your controller across the room (unless you opt into lunatic you mad lad!). i do think they're a little ugly though lol. rip. also, if you like PoR enough to play RD, you'll find RD... uneven. it's uneven in ways that mostly delight me, but like, yeah it's suffering a little from "we're telling like four different storylines with a HUGE cast & jerking you around between them a bit" so it interrupts the usual "smooth progression of your carefully-curated army" gameflow for something more like "wow, hope you're looking forward to saying BYE FELICIA to all your old dudes & putting down a random rebellion in Crimea for exactly five chapters & then doing something else entirely."
those games are my personal faves though and. i will always tell people to start with them. in principle. but you should decide if you trust me lol
a WHOLE lot lot of people got started with Awakening, and the core gameplay in that one is VERY fun. about halfway through, if you're sufficiently clever at assigning abilities, the game becomes a little too easy to "break," but it's an enjoyable ride the whole time. it also introduced a LOT of the quality-of-life improvements people now take for granted in modern FEs (you can choose to disable permadeath; UX is much nicer; etc). so if dealing with some old-school cruft is unpalatable to you, you'll definitely want Awakening or newer.
unfortunately the writing in Awakening is, uh, not great, lol. there's two generations of characters you're playing as, and the first generation is just... not very interesting! very one-note and tropey! storyline is nonsense! the second-generation characters are a little more fun but overall i found the main plot's incoherence + the plethora of dull characters meant that i found the story very forgettable.
i think the writing in Conquest/Birthright is similarly weak but i do have to say, if you want to powergame and optimize stats and get REALLY SWEATY GAMEPLAY NERD about it, Conquest can't be beat. best map design in the series, extremely challenging, etc
and then there's the massive fandom juggernaut known as Three Houses lol. of the "modern" FEs, this game contains the most Stuff I Like About Fire Emblem. the storyline's a lil jankier than e.g. the Tellius storyline, but still has plenty of fun stuff to chew on, and even if you don't some of the 3-4 storylines offered, there's a pretty strong chance you'll resonate with at least one of them. and the gameplay is *fun*, lots of QoL improvements, reasonably snappy...
...but it does have a somewhat bloated, "AAA-gamification" feel. visiting the monastery between EVERY SINGLE FUCKING CHAPTER to do "home base"-y stuff gets old fast. and also, the gameplay starts to drag some as you go along... a campaign takes like 40-50hrs iirc, and near the end, i usually find myself going like "jfc i don't WANT to do these three skirmish battles before i go onto the next one... but i need to because it's the Objectively Optimal Thing To Do... why is this game making playing it so annoying," lol. also, the writing, while reasonably solid... could've been reduced by like 50% and probably been *stronger*? most "old-school" FE games only had 3-5 support conversations per unit, and that was generally enough to give a good sense of the character without Overwhelming With Pointless Chatter. but so many characters in Three Houses have *so much more* text than that and it just starts feeling like.. a chore... to go through... especially when in practice i won't even like all those conversations... so yeah idk
tl;dr if you have slightly old-school sensibilities, get Sacred Stones; if you want a "modern" feel, get Awakening or Three Houses; if you want to make Lua Internetperson happy, personally, you should grab Path of Radiance :P
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goddessofteyvat · 1 year ago
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Starfall | I - A Star Makes Its Landing
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Chapter Summary: You wake up in a strange but familiar place, and meet some new friends.
Chapter Warnings: None yet
A/N: Welcome to the first chapter of my new fic! Wanted to try my hand at writing something for SAGAU, and here it is! I'm also opening up requests, so feel free to start asking questions, just don't expect any spoilers, lol. Also to those of you who want to join my taglist for this fic, just drop a like or reblog on this post or the masterlist.
Hope you guys enjoy~❤
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A gentle breeze blows across your face, cool but pleasant. A tingling sensation runs over your nose; you frown, bringing your hand up to swat at it. The sensation returns only a second later, joined by more on your arms, legs, chest, everywhere practically.
You open your eyes reluctantly, thinking, Is it too much to ask for five more minutes to sleep?
You are met with crystalline wings, definitely not your bedroom ceiling. You sit like a catapult, hair flying around your face as you whip your head around. A kaleidoscope of sky-blue butterflies flutter around you as you take your surroundings in – you’re in the middle of a forest with no houses or buildings in sight.
“Where the fuck am I?” You blurt out, anxiety bubbling up in your chest. You almost open your mouth to scream but before you can a butterfly darts right up to your face, flapping its wings almost frantically. Distracted by the sight before you – you can’t recall butterflies ever wanting to get this close to you – you hold your hand out to let it land. To your surprise it does, allowing you the chance to see the designs on its wings. The designs seem familiar, and as the butterfly gently crawls into your palm you realize it:
“Are these… Anemo Crystalflies?” you mumble to yourself. The butterfly – Crystalfly – flutters its wings once almost in response to your question. It takes flight once more, joining its siblings around you.
“No way.” You walk up to a nearby tree, where three fruits hang from its branches. They look like Sunsettias and as you pick one from the lowest branch to inspect it, you realize that that’s exactly what it is. You run your fingers across its surface to feel the Sunsettia’s smooth texture, then lift it to your nose to smell it – it has a sweet aroma.
You lift the Sunsettia to your lips, you sink your teeth into it, and a sweet but slightly tangy juice gushes into your mouth. It’s delicious – you eat the whole thing in three bites, leaving you with just the pit. You feel renewed, energized even!
“I’m in Teyvat,” you whisper. “I’m in Genshin Impact!”
The Crystalflies seem to rejoice at your revelation, fluttering around you excitedly. Everything bursts with elemental energy, from the grass to the trees to even the breeze blowing through the foliage. It’s overwhelming and you blink in an effort to adjust, which brings something else to your attention; you only feel one eye blink.
You bring your hand up to feel the area around your left eye, and startle when you feel nothing there.
Is my eye missing?!
You look around for something to confirm your suspicion, but the only things here are you, the Crystalflies, and the flora. Wait – aren’t the Crystalflies supposed to be skittish? They always flew away from the characters when you were playing the game. There has to be some specific reason they’re hanging out around you.
Maybe you could ask them for help? It seems silly, but you didn’t have a lot of options here.
You hold out a hand again and almost immediately, a Crystalfly lands on it.
“Um, can you understand me? Flap once for yes, twice for no.”
The Crystalfly flaps its wings once. Your eye – er, eye – widens in shock. The Crystalflies in the game were never anything more than floating models with some code attached to them. How was it possible for them to be intelligent answer your questions? You were getting sidetracked – back to the questions.
“Okay, uh… Is there like, a lake, or some kind of water nearby?”
The Crystalfly flaps its wings again.
“Can you take me to it?”
The Crystalfly flaps its wings once more. It takes flight this time, its siblings following behind it to make a trail for you. It wasn’t long before you arrived at a little pond at the end of a creek. You kneeled down at the edge and leaned over the water to look at your reflection, only to find something even more unexpected.
“What happened to me?”
Your eye was missing alright, but your eye socket wasn’t empty. Instead, there was a tiny silvery floating sphere with flares jumping off it in its place; it was almost like a miniature sun. That wasn’t the only thing that was different though. Your hair looked like it had been cut from the night sky – galaxies, stars, and nebula were strewn all through it and floated above your shoulders in an otherworldly manner. You pulled a strand away to feel it; it felt like regular hair but misty somehow, like it was partially incorporeal.
You put your hand over your new “eye” and the elemental auras disappeared, replaced by the regular world around you. Was this how you could see elements? You took your hand away then put it back again. Somehow your left “eye” gave you Elemental Sight, but that shouldn’t be possible. As far as you knew, only Vision users could do that.
“Am I dead?”
A Crystalfly sat on a lily pad and flapped its wings twice to answer you. You pinched your wrist just to be sure then winced when a sharp pain shot through your wrist. You were definitely not dead. But how did you get here then? You weren’t doing anything out of the ordinary before you ended up here. But come to think of it…
What was I doing before I got here?
With a frown on your face, you sat back on your heels and began to dig through your mind. Try as you might, you couldn’t remember anything solid about your past. The only things that came up was basic information like your name, your age, and what objects were, like phones, cars, and backpacks.
“My backpack!” You gasped. You jumped to your feet in an instant and darted back the way you came. You tore through the underbrush in a panic as the startled chiming of the Crystalflies followed you. You came back to the clearing you started in quickly then searched almost frantically through the bushes; your backpack all of your stuff in it! Maybe there was something that could help you remember how you ended up in Teyvat.
“Ow-hey!” A Crystalfly tugged on your hair, not harshly but strong enough to get your attention, nonetheless. “What the hell was that for?!”
It chimed energetically and fluttered back to its siblings, all of them flying in circles over a specific bush. You followed them and pulled the shrub back; there lay your backpack, thankfully untouched.
You let out a sigh of relief, “Oh, thank God.”
You sat down and pulled you backpack into your lap.
“Oh, thanks by the way! Sorry for snapping at you earlier.” You looked up at the Crystalflies. They flutter back in response, in glee almost.
You opened your bag to see what it had; thankfully your phone was there, along with three textbooks, a pair of headphones, some snacks, a water bottle, notebooks and pencils, and your laptop. Unfortunately, there were no chargers to go with your phone and laptop. However, you did manage to find two other things: a wallet and a pair of tickets to the movies.
Your wallet had about 100 dollars in it and two cards but given that you were on Teyvat and not Earth, your money was probably worthless here. Your driver’s license was a bit more useful because it had a picture of yourself from before you ended up here. You had a shocked look on your face in the picture, probably because you hadn’t been prepared for the clerk to take the picture when they did. You had been waiting in line all day just to take your test and hadn’t much sleep the night before. It didn’t help that the instructor was the most boring person you’d ever met in your life. He could find a way to make beige look exciting.
Wait, that was a solid memory!
Your phone beeped just then – how could it be getting notifications when there weren’t any cellphone towers around? You pulled your phone out to investigate, unlocking it with the code you somehow still remembered.
To your surprise, your entire screen had changed; gone was the custom background and all the apps you had downloaded. Genshin Impact was gone just as you suspected it would be – you were currently inside the game after all – but so were all the other games you had downloaded. Instead, there were only six icons present on the screen: one for a camera, one for an encyclopedia, one for a “command console,” one for storage space, one for runes, and one for settings. There was only one icon with any notification, the Encyclopedia with a glowing number 2 by it, and so you opened the app to see what had happened.
There under the tab that read “Repository” was a picture of you, sitting in the driver’s seat with an exasperated face look on your face. In the front passenger seat is your driving instructor, seemingly droning on and on about nothing at all. It’s the memory that you had just recovered.
“So, my phone is some kind of magic now?” You said to yourself, “I guess it’s nice to have a mini Sheikah Slate on me, but it kinda sucks that I can’t use it for much else now.”
You began to scroll through the various features now present on your phone. In addition to the Repository, the Encyclopedia also had information on practically everything on Teyvat, from plants to animals and monsters to even weapons. The Storage Space app held a list of everything you had on you at the moment, and when you tapped a picture of your backpack, it disappeared into the app. The Camera functioned the way you thought it would, and the Settings app seemed to be rather barren. At least it let you change your hair back to the way it looked before you got it here, but that was the only thing that you were really interested in there.
You started to tap the Command Console, but the sound of snapping branches and faint voices in the distance made you pause. You strained your ears to see if you hear more.
“I think… landed somewhere… check it out?” A light, energetic voice chattered, drifting closer and closer. It sounded familiar, like a character you had seen in the game.
Panic began to crawl up spine; what if they saw you the way you looked now? You may not have looked terrible but seeing the way you dressed and talked, it would be obvious to anyone around that you weren’t local. Thinking fast, you ripped a vine from a nearby tree – you don’t remember being this strong before – and wrapped it around your head over your missing eye. You used your newly altered phone to bring your backpack back out into the open.
Unfortunately, the sound of the approaching strangers chased away your newfound Crystalfly friends.
“Hey, wait!” you shouted before you could stop yourself.
“…Think I heard something…!” The voice grew closer. If there was any hope that they would just pass you by, that hope was dashed now. You stood and dusted yourself off; hopefully the people you ran into would be friendly.
“Um, hello? Is anyone there?” You called. You slung your backpack over your shoulder as you walked towards the voice.
“Don’t worry, a Knight of Favonius is coming to assist you!”
Wait a minute, is that Amber?!
A blur of silver burst forth from the foliage and knocked you flat on your back. You groaned, your vision blurry from the sudden fall, but that didn’t stop you from recognizing the white and golden garb of the young man just behind.
“Paimon! Look what you did!”
“Sorry!” A weight lifted from your chest and three figures stood above you.
A hand clad in a red and brown glove opened wide to help you up. You took it, standing with shaky legs.
“Are you alright? Paimon crashed into you pretty hard…” A platinum blonde-haired girl floated into view, anxiously pressing the tips her of her fingers together. If there was any remaining doubt that you were in Genshin Impact, Paimon’s appearance had chased it all away.
“I’m a little sore, but fine.”
“As a member of the Knights of Favonius, it is my duty to formally apologize for our conduct.” Amber placed a fist on her chest, a solemn look on her face as she bowed. “Allow us the chance to make it up to you. I’m Outrider Amber, and this is Paimon and Aether, Honorary Knights of Favonius. What’s your name?”
You gave it to them; it’s not like there was any harm in giving them your name, right?
“Hmm…” Paimon narrowed her eyes at you as you floated right up to you. “You sound kinda like Aether.”
You felt a jolt run through you. “What? How? He hasn’t even said anything!”
“Paimon’s never heard of anyone from Teyvat with a name like yours. Well, except for… Nah, that can’t be right!” The elf girl shook her head as if to dispel the thought.
You open your mouth to question her, only to be cut off by Amber: “And come to think of it, your style of dress doesn’t match anything I’ve seen here. Are you another Traveler then?”
They figured that out fast; you’d barely even said anything to them, and they had pegged you as an outsider almost immediately!
“I don’t about Traveler, but I know I’m definitely not from around here. I woke up here a few minutes ago, and I can’t remember what I was doing before I got here. In fact, I can’t remember anything about myself before I got here.” You said carefully. You still didn’t how much you could tell them about your circumstances without freaking them out. There’s no way any of them would react well to learning that their reality was just a game to you.
Amber began to scratch her head and mused aloud, “Well, this is strange. Three days ago, a star falls from the sky and leaves a huge crater in the ground. But instead of a meteorite in the middle, there’s a person with strange clothes and amnesia left in the crater.”
“Wait, did you say crater? I didn’t see any craters where I woke up.” At that, Aether and Paimon shared a look with each other.
“About that… Well, it’s probably best if you see it yourself. Follow me!” Amber began to walk towards the top edge of the valley.
“Okay, but I don’t see what this has to do with-” You cut yourself off with a gasp. There at the top of the valley, you saw exactly what she was talking about; the valley was in fact not a valley at all. It was a crater, an unmistakably gigantic crater, and at the center was the exact spot where you woke up.
“This can’t be possible, you said that this happened a few days ago! How could it be covered up with plants that fast?” You turned to Amber in shock.
“Maybe it has something to do with you? Paimon did say that you seemed kinda like Aether…” The fairy-like girl put her hand to her chin contemplatively. “You woke up here with no memory of how you left home, and you said that you know for a fact that you aren’t from Teyvat. Maybe the god that separated him from his sister brought you here too!”
Aether only nodded in agreement.
“Well in any case, it won’t do to keep discussing it out here. Come on, we should head for Monstadt City before it gets dark.” Amber took the lead in your impromptu caravan with Aether and Paimon right behind her and you reluctantly trailing behind them.
There was no way a huge crater could be filled in so fast with foliage, let alone one that huge. Maybe there was a Dendro user nearby? But you were the only person around for miles, and Crystalflies usually only showed around places that had their matching elements.
Maybe… it really does have something to do with me? You looked down at your hands; you didn’t look any different than normal, aside from the missing eye situation.
Aether’s nature as a Descender meant that the had no vision, but instead they could “resonate” with the Elements and wield them as if he was a native of Teyvat anyway. Had you gained that ability too?
You snuck a glance up at the group before you; Paimon was chattering away about what eat when she got back to the city, while Amber was thinking aloud about why you here, and the Traveler remained silent through it all. None of them were paying attention to you.
You looked back at your hands and took a deep breath. You imagined a little flower, growing and blooming right in your hands. Not even a second later, an emerald green light sprang from your palms and two cerulean starflowers bloomed right in your grasp. You gasped and the flowers disappeared just as fast they were summoned.
“Did something happen?” Amber called from ahead of the group.
“Oh, I thought I saw a bug. It’s nothing.” You wiped the palms of your hands on your pants. Hopefully they wouldn’t notice the petals in your fingers.
“Ugh Paimon hates bugs! Let’s go before we run into anymore.” Paimon darted ahead of the group, passing Amber in seconds.
“Hey, wait up!” The brunette girl shouted and ran behind the floating elf.
You were left alone with Aether, but you paid him no mind. You felt him cast a curious gaze in your direction and you pretended not to notice as you began to jog to catch up. The less questions you were asked the better. Once you were in Monstadt City, you could start to figure out how you got here.
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ghouly-boiiiii · 5 months ago
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A Light in the Dark 🕯️
Chapter 1: Throwing Stones
Lucy x Cooper Howard / The Ghoul
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Summary: Takes place directly after the end of Season 1. As they begin their journey, Lucy is understandably very angry and fearful towards the Ghoul. She hates him, and is only joining him because she wants answers. He, however, is harboring secret feelings for Lucy ever since she saved his life. Having not been with anyone since Barb, and believing she would never feel the same, the bounty hunter has to deal with these feelings on his own. Little does he know, Lucy finds herself having inexplicable feelings for him as well, and struggling to make sense of them.
Tags: Slow Burn, Romance, Angst, Enemies to Lovers, Casual Sex Lucy and No Wait Let Me Court You Cooper, Cooper is touch-starved and rusty in bed, He's also self-conscious about his body, Ghoul channels old romantic Cooper, Lucy is confused by strange surface dweller mating customs, She helps him discover his old self, He helps her discover her true self, Did I mention there would be angst
Rating: Mature - Word Count: 1,742
SPOILER WARNING: Contains all the spoilers. No trigger warnings except eventual sexy time with a zombie man and lots of angst.
In this chapter...
To her horror, the rock shot straight forward and bounced off the back of The Ghoul’s head.
She threw her hands up in front of her. “I’m sorry! I-I didn’t mean to hit you! Please, don’t…”
“Don’t worry…” To her surprise, his voice was gentle and unthreatening. “I ain’t gonna do nothin’ to hurt cha’… But…” The Ghoul kneeled down and picked up a rock, then looked up at her and threw it in her direction.
She watched as fell to the ground at her feet.
“Huh… I missed.” He shrugged with an odd smile, then turned back around and kept walking.
Authors Note: This fic starts out somewhat similar to my other fic, My Name Is Cooper, because it starts directly after the end of the season. They have similar conversations at first, but the tone is much different and the story goes in a completely different direction. This one is more serious (still with some humor though, of course), and is probably going to be longer. I really wanted to do a more realistic, slow burn romance. I know there's a ton out there already, but I wanted to do my own version because idk, reasons I guess lol. But I really wanted to dive deep into how these two navigate their relationship and the very complicated feelings they might have for each other. This is what you might call another free-writing project, so I don't know *exactly* where it's gonna go, but I will do my best to make sure it has a decent ending when the time comes! Inspired by the cool peeps on Discord and touch-starved Cooper headcanons lol.
Lucy felt the cool night air fill her lungs as she took a deep breath and tried to still her mind. It was silent. Nothing but the soft crunch of leaves and dirt under their feet, and perhaps the occasional frog or cricket.
The vault dweller looked out at the distance before them. A fog rose up from the earth, illuminated by the faint glow of a thousand lights that mirrored the stars above. She was in awe, even thinking that it was beautiful. But it was only a distraction from all the pain and confusion she felt.
Her whole world had turned upside down. Nothing was as she believed it was. Nothing was as it seemed. Everything she thought she knew had crumbled into dust within a matter of minutes. She was numb. Overwhelmed. Everything felt surreal. And now she found herself once again alone… with him. 
As Lucy stared ahead at his silhouette in the darkness, she felt nothing but disdain. The young vault dweller was taught to forgive and forget. But she was fairly certain the people who taught her that were never fed to a giant salamander or tied up by their neck and dragged around a desert or sold for organs. How could she possibly forgive, let alone forget, such horrible things that were done to her?
She couldn’t. But she had to stuff down her feelings and let it go… for now. 
“So… where are we going?” Lucy finally asked. They must have been walking for at least thirty minutes at this point. And he hadn’t looked back even once, only reacting to the dog when she came up to him, and even then with barely more than a glance. Lucy wasn’t even sure if he knew she was still following him anymore.
The Ghoul didn’t answer right away. He waited a moment, before he took a breath and said, “Can’t say for sure yet… but looks like yo’ daddy might be headed for New Vegas.”
“...That’s a town?” 
“Big town.” 
“Okay…” Lucy took a deep breath. The conversation seemed to be going… okay so far. “So…  what’s in this town? Why do you think he’d want to go there?”
The Ghoul didn’t answer.
The vault dweller swallowed hard. She wanted to push, but she knew she had to be cautious. “How do you know my father? Are you going to tell me?”
The bounty hunter seemed to be ignoring her.
She huffed. He was so rude. So rude and inconsiderate and unaccommodating, it sickened her. Maybe if she started with something simpler… “Okay, so… do you got like a… name or something?”
Again, nothing.
Lucy frowned, her tone getting exasperated. “I’m just… wondering what I should call you… You really not gonna answer that either?”
“I don’t give a good goddamn what you call me.” He snapped, sounding a bit angry.
Lucy fell silent and her throat got tight, a bit of fear rising in her. She truly didn’t know what kind of madness compelled her to follow this man, after everything he did to her. She was hypervigilant about his every movement. Knowing that at any moment, he could turn around and try to do... something to her. 
With her hand on her pistol, she kept her distance. This one, armed with actual bullets. She wasn’t sure if it would do much, but it was something. 
Truly, every fiber of her being told her to get as far away from this… creature as she humanly could, but…
He had answers. And so did whoever they were going to find. She needed those answers. There was no question about it. Sure, she could just turn around and go home. Go back to her life in the Vault with Norm and Chet and Stephanie and everyone else. But she would never be able to live with herself. Those questions would never stop haunting her. She would never stop feeling compelled to seek the truth. Lucy knew this about herself, and her body acted almost automatically as she took one step in front of the other behind those of this two-hundred year old cowboy. 
“Look… you don’t have to talk to me if you don’t want to. Obviously, we’re not friends. But if we’re going to be working together… we need to at least communicate effectively...”
The Ghoul was silent for a moment, then finally responded, “Well, then… I got a question for you , Vaulty.”
“...Okay?”
“What happened to the doctor?”
“...The doctor?”
“Yeah. How’d he end up with no head?” This time, he did turn his head slightly, although not enough to see her. “...Who cut it off?”
"Uhh... Well, uh... I-I did..." Lucy's eyes fell to the ground.
"You did?" The bounty hunter said in surprise.
“Uhh… well…” She swallowed hard, as she remembered the task. She’ll never forget having to cut off someone’s head for the first time… and, well… hopefully, the last. “He asked me to.”
“He asked you to cut off his head?” This time, he did look back at her, peering over his shoulder questioningly with a raised brow.
“Yes… he… he took cyanide and told me… He told me it would be easier… if I just… brought his head…” 
The Ghoul turned to face ahead of him, then just said, “Huh…”
There was silence for a moment, before he asked another question. “What about the Super Duper Mart? What'd you do in'ere?”
Lucy blinked, then narrowed her eyes at him, flustered by the fact that he would ask that, considering he put her in that situation. “...Why do you wanna know?”
“Curious, I guess.” The Ghoul said simply. "It's just kinda funny... what with all that 'Golden Rule' talk, how many people seem ta' end up dead 'round you."
“It was an accident!" The vault dweller quickly retorted. “I didn’t mean for anyone to get hurt... I just…" She paused and looked down at the ground somberly, remembering Martha. "They... they were holding all those people captive… I... I couldn’t just leave them there…”
“You mean those ghouls?”
“They’re people. Maybe they have a condition, but they’re still people..." She snapped, then added under her breath. "Unlike you...” 
Dangit. That was not a good thing to say. Lucy bit her tongue, hoping he didn't hear.
She swallowed hard and tried to play it off. “But I did have to kill some of them. So, you know…” She said, trying to sound confident in her ghoul-killing skills. "I'd, uh... watch out... if I were you."
"Heh. Well, good for you, Vaulty." He snickered. “…Anyways, how did you get the–”
“Now! Now, hold on!” Lucy said, holding up a bluish-grey finger. “If you get to ask me things, I get to ask you things.” She lifted her head a bit higher. “A question for a question. That’s only fair.”
The Ghoul peered over his shoulder at her again for a moment as he continued to walk, then turned back. “Alright.”
“Yeah… so…” She looked down at the ground and exhaled, then back up with determination in her eyes. “So I get to ask you—”
“Two questions.”
“Five.” 
“Five?” 
“That’s right. You technically asked me five questions. Actually, six.”
“Well, that don’t sound quite fair to me, Vaulty.” He said with a smirk. “I asked you two questions. The rest were for clarification. They don’t count.” 
She huffed in dismay. It was worth a try, she thought.
He chuckled. “Tell you what. You can ask me however many questions you want. But I get to pick which ones I answer.”
“No! That’s not fair! I answered the questions you asked me, now you’re gonna answer mine.”
“Well, you didn’t have to answer my questions. That was your choice.”
“What!? I–” She huffed, unsure how to counter that.
“Alright… question for a question.” The bounty hunter said, raising his voice, and two fingers.  "You got two. Have at it, sweetheart.”
The vault dweller jumped, then quickly ran up closer, but still stayed a few feet behind him. Out of arms reach. “...Name?”
“Pass.”
“How do you know my dad?”
“Hard pass.”
She huffed. “This isn’t fair.”
“And what is, darlin'?” He scoffed, holding his arm out beside him. “What in God’s Green Earth made you think that anything in the wasteland is ever fucking fair? It’s every man for himself out here, sweetheart. Thought you might’ve figured that out by now.”
Lucy growled, and as she momentarily lost her cool, she kicked a rock in front of her. To her horror, it shot straight forward and bounced off the back of The Ghoul’s head.
He froze, and she took a sharp gasp. Oh, no… now she’d done it.
As she watched The Ghoul slowly turn around to face her, she threw her hands in front of her. “I’m sorry!” She said in a panic. “I-I didn’t mean to hit you! Please, don’t…”
The old bounty hunter stood there and just stared at her a moment. “Don’t worry…” His face was in shadow, but she could see the gleam in his eyes. To her surprise, his voice was gentle and unthreatening. “I ain’t gonna do nothin’ to hurt cha’…” 
Lucy rose her head and lowered her arms a little, relaxing somewhat.
“But…” The Ghoul kneeled down and picked up a rock from the ground. He tossed it in his hand once, then stood, looked up at her, and threw it in her direction.
She watched as it weakly flew towards her, then fell to the ground at her feet.
“Huh… I missed.” He shrugged with an odd smile, then turned back around and kept walking. 
She looked up at The Ghoul and raised an eyebrow before she continued to follow, wondering what the hell that was all about.
“One thang you gotta learn, Vaulty…” He said, raising his voice commandingly. “Caps ain’t the only form of money up here. Everything you have is potential currency. That includes information.” He said. “You see, that Golden Rule a yer’s only works if other people agree with it. Now that might be all peachy down in your vault, but up here, you don’t wanna be givin’ nothin’ away unless you know you gettin’ somethin’ in return. If you don’t do that, you’ll be eaten alive out here.”
“So… You’re giving me survival lessons now?”
“Yeah… I guess I am.” He said as he turned to smile at her, then tipped his hat up with a single finger. “...But those you can have for free.”
To be continued...
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shadowkoo · 1 year ago
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Chasing Clouds - Prologue
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→ Summary: Namjoon made the decision early on in his training that he would abstain from dating or entering any form of relationship while in active duty. He’s determined not to burden anyone with the likelihood of being to be notified of his death or causing pain to someone he loves by his long absence. Ironically, he found himself drawn to you, a doctor who challenges his beliefs and contradicts everything he upholds.
↠ namjoon x f.reader | 1k words | 18+ ↠ genre: military au, angst (future chapters include: doctor au, s2l, slow burn, smut, fluff, romance
→ Warnings: Read at your own risk! war, ptsd, bombs, guns, violence, injury, death, blood, (future warnings include: murder, use of other weapons, smut warnings)
→ Author Note: my favorite kdrama of all time is descendants of the sun and in honor of my fifth rewatch, I wanted to write this series! it takes place about a year after the show ends, just so you know the timeline :) i would recommend that you watch it first, but it’s not a requirement - it just gives insight to some of the character's personalities (plus i’ll take any opportunity to tell people to watch it lol)
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Prologue
MAY 02 - 0340 - USTANA
The darkness of the night feels heavy; its weight is unsettling as the soldiers start their most recent assignment. Namjoon has an odd feeling in the pit of his stomach. It’s twisting and turning like never before. He isn’t usually nervous before missions; he hasn’t had a reason to be. He's always followed through and completed his tasks without issue; which is one of the main reasons everyone has such high hopes for him.
Tonight is different though, and he knows the others have the same odd feeling as they all take off their dog tags and set them aside. If captured, they need to remain anonymous.
"You guys know the drill. Once we locate the hostage, everyone will need to be attentive because it'll only be a matter of time until the whole building knows it's been breached. This isn't another exercise boys, lives are at stake here,” Big Boss, Captain Yoo Shijin, says to his team of special force soldiers.
"As this is the last mission of your training term, I expect nothing but excellence in your delivery of the hostage. We've orchestrated the specifics of this mission in such a way that will prove whether or not you are cut for these types of diplomatic high-profile assignments," Wolf, Big Bosses best friend Seo Daeyoung, adds.
"Whatever you do, don't compromise the mission. Don’t use your birth name to communicate, use the nicknames you were given, as well as ours," Big Boss hollers, finishing off their short speech as the back door of the aircraft opened.
Ustana, the country they’re secretly entering, is known for its drug and weapons problem due to its corrupt government. If things end badly, it will reflect on Korea. That’s why the team’s identities and nationalities can’t be known.
The plane jolts, narrowly missing the projectile that was aimed at the steel bird in the sky, solidifying the seriousness of the current situation below.
Namjoon repeats his orders to keep some level of sanity and peace of mind as he descended from the sky with the rest of the Puppy Pack, the soldiers in training to join the Alpha Team.
‘Find the hostage. Mislead the enemy. Return home. Stay alive.’
Once on the ground, he waits for the signal to ambush the guards watching the doors and proceeds to lead the group. Shijin and Daeyoung follow behind with the rest of the soldiers at their feet.
Daeyoung nods, giving Namjoon the go-ahead to align his gun on the enemy. This is the part he often tunes out. You need to be able to turn the switch, as he calls it, on and off with this kind of job.
He aligns his scope with the target and quickly pulls the trigger before moving to the others nearby before they even realize what’s happening. He watches as their bodies drop, waiting to see if anyone else runs into the room, but it’s quiet. Almost too quiet…
"Wildcat, All clear,” he says into his mic, letting the others know their access point is now safe for entry.
‘Find the hostage. Mislead the enemy. Return home. Stay alive.’
It takes less than two minutes for the group of highly trained soldiers to find the hostage. He’s badly beaten and unconscious, his body hunched over in the chair he’s tied to.
Wolf keeps watch by the side door while the team works on releasing the man. Jihoon, another one of the Puppy Pack trainees, helps Namjoon carry the man back to where the transport aircraft is waiting.
“I don’t want to jinx anything, but that was almost too easy…” Jihoon says, looking at Namjoon.
He agrees. Something’s not adding up…
He peers through the open door of the transport helicopter, gazing outside. They’re waiting for the last of the group to make their way onto the craft, and he just wants to ensure that everyone is safe. His shoulders relax when he can see their dark forms exiting the building.
Namjoon turns to look back at Jihoon, “I see them, they’re-” his sentence ends unfinished.
“What is that?” he says, taking a step closer to the unconscious hostage that Jihoon and a combat medic are helping. He points out the red blinking light on the man’s neck. It’s not a laser from a gun. It’s coming from inside his skin. ‘It’s almost as if…’ His thought trails off. “Run!” he screams, though it’s too late.
The bomb’s detonation rips through the helicopter, unleashing an intense burst of energy. In an instant, the searing shockwave propels fragments of debris outward. The air vibrates with a deafening roar, drowning out all other sounds.
The chaotic energy tears apart surroundings and scatters the remnants in all directions. A plume of smoke and fire billows upward, consuming everything in its path. The impact leaves a scene of devastation, marked by shattered glass, twisted metal, and a sense of raw destruction.
Namjoon feels the force of the explosion in his chest and is thrown far from his comrade, and debris crashes around him. His head bounces against the ground, and the ringing in his ears is so intense, he believes he will never hear again.
Jihoon is several feet away. His eyes are frozen open, and blood trails down his face from the head injury he suffers from. Namjoon reaches for his lifeless friend but it’s all too much.
Then, everything fades to black.
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beelsnack · 1 year ago
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Back in the Saddle - Obey Me! Boys and an MC Who is Overcoming a Depressive Episode
Hyper-specific coping mechanisms? On my blog? It's more likely than you think.
(Just kidding that's like the whole reason I started the blog in the first place lol)
I'll be honest, I'm not caught up on the games at all. I got like 2 chapters into Nightbringer before the rhythm games gave me sensory overload. But they're still my emotional support demons and I'm still going to write about them on my silly little blog. Enjoy!
May make a part 2 with the other characters, this one was getting kind of long.
-----
Lucifer: The music room had always been one of the few places that Lucifer could seek solace from the chaos that seemed to follow him. Most of his brothers had no desire to practice an instrument, and those who did tended to want to do it on their own, so if he was there, they tended to avoid the area. He had come to expect the room to be empty when he arrived there.
So seeing the human hunched over the grand piano threw him off a bit.
He knew they played the piano - it had been in their paperwork when they first came to the Devildom. They played quite frequently before, taking comfort in the familiar feeling of the ivory keys when the strangeness of their new home got to be too much. But something in recent months stopped them, and he didn’t have the faintest idea what. They hadn’t been very forthcoming about their mental state, and Lucifer didn’t want to pry. 
Well, actually, he did want to pry, but each time he asked, they got more and more irritated and withdrawn from him, and that stung just as much as not being able to help.
They were making considerably more mistakes than they had before, likely due to a lack of practice, but Lucifer could see a bit of their old spark returning to their eyes as muscle memory took over. They were playing an ost from a human world show, something slow and soothing that they played often. Perhaps it was a trick of the light, but Lucifer thought he could see the beginnings of a smile on their face.
Before he quite knew what he was doing, he had silently made his way over to them. His shadow fell over the keys, and they jumped in shock. They whipped around so fast he was worried that they would twist something. “Lucifer?!”
“Don’t stop on my account, my dear,” he smiled gently at them, perching himself on the bench next to them. “It’s been so long since I’ve heard you play, won’t you indulge me a little?”
Mammon: It was just a little doodle.
Borrowing the human's notes was a pretty common occurrence for Mammon. If he even remembered to take notes, they were sparse at best and incomprehensible at worst. He had just wanted to take a picture of them at first but the human insisted he write them himself. 
"We don't need to make it too easy for Lucifer to tell you don't pay attention," had been there reasoning, but Mammon wasn't going to turn down some alone time with them. Even if it was in the library.
When the human had presented their notebook to him, his eyes had immediately gone to the little drawing in the corner. It wasn't very detailed, more like random scribbles that eventually morphed into a flower and some stars. When they had first come to the Devildom, their notebooks had been absolutely filled with doodles and drawings, ranging from rudimentary shapes and shading to full-on sketches in the margins. They claimed it helped them focus, so Mammon had been a little concerned when the drawings had dwindled to nothing.
"What are you smiling at?"
Mammon jumped, heat creeping up his neck as he realized he had been caught. "Nothin'!"
He glanced back at the drawings, wishing he had his shades to hide behind. "...I missed the doodles, is all."
Leviathan: Right.
Left.
…Alright, the coast was clear. Sighing softly in relief, Levi emerged fully from his room and made his way downstairs. Most of the residents went their separate ways after dinner, and he knew for a fact Beel had his Fangol game so the kitchen should be free.
Levi stuck his hand in his pants pocket to make sure the folded square of paper was still there. One of his favorite Deviltubers are done a video recreating various dishes from different anime, but Levi just had to try them as well. But any sort of attempt at baking was doomed to fail if Beelzebub was in the house, so as much as Levi had wanted to jump right in as soon as he had seen the video, this excursion needed careful planning.
He was feeling rather hopeful until he got to the kitchen and saw the light on.
Defeated, he was about to turn around and head back into his inner sanctum to await his next opportunity before he realized that the shadow moving along the wall was far too small to be Beel.
Quietly, carefully, he poked his head around the corner and peered into the kitchen. There, in an old t-shirt with an apron tied around their waist, was the human scooping flour out of a bag.
Either he made some sort of noise or they just felt his presence. They turned around, looking startled for a moment before regaining their composure and grinning sheepishly at him. “Hey, Levi, what’s up?”
Levi blinked owlishly at them for a second. “Uh, well…”
The human’s baked goods had quickly become treasure in the House of Lamentation when they first arrived for the exchange program. It had been their passion, but something happened somewhere to tamp out the gleeful little spark they had whenever they were trying out a new recipe. But, like a storm passing, that light was beginning to peek through the dark clouds.
“Levi?” they asked, cocking their head at him like a confused puppy. “You alright?”
“I-I’m fine!” Levi had to physically shake himself out of his train of thought. “You-you’re baking something?”
“Mm-hm,” they hummed, turning back to the counter to glance at the recipe on their phone. “I was really in the mood for some chocolate cake.”
Chocolate cake wasn’t one of the recipes on his list, but seeing them passionate about something again made him forget about his whole mission. “Do you…want some help?”
Satan: Someone was humming.
Satan had thought he was alone in RAD’s library. Very rarely did students venture here at this hour, and his brothers were causing suck a ruckus back at the house that he hadn’t been able to focus on his book even shut within his room. And now someone was being annoying here.
His already short fuse was slowly but surely reaching the end, and he slammed his book shut with a bit more force than necessary. He would get his quiet time or there would be blood.
The perpetrator was somewhere in the fiction section, it sounded like, and Satan rounded the corner of the shelves like a predator sniffing out its prey. Finally, after a few moments of following the sound, he caught sight of another person. He stopped at the beginning of the aisle, mouth already open in a snarl to scold whoever had the balls to - 
“Oh, Satan, hi!”
He deflated like someone had poked a hole in him. Of all of the people he thought he would encounter, the human had been very low on the list. Recently, they barely left their room except to go to class or eat. Usually if he wanted to spend time with them he had to gently coax them out into the open like one would entice a cat with treats.
Satan cleared his throat. “Well, this is unexpected.”
The human had their arms full of books. Quite the assortment, too. A thriller, a book about previous kings on the Devildom, what appeared to be some sort of romance manga and an autobiography of a well-known witch.
“I ran out of things to read,” they shrugged, looking away. “Went through everything I had at least twice.”
“You know,” Satan walked over and took two of the books out of their arms - they always got irritated when he took everything, like a stubborn kitten, so letting them hold on to something would preserve their dignity. “You can always come to me if you want recommendations.”
Asmodeus: “Hey, Asmo?”
There were only a few people who were brave and/or stupid enough to go into Asmo’s room without knocking. Not because he would be angry or anything, but one never knew what kind of salacious activities would be going on in there and it was better for all involved if there was some warning before opening the door to Asmo’s den of debauchery.
“Hello, darling!” Asmo chirped, beckoning the human inside. They were lucky, he had just gotten out of the bath and was in the middle of his skin care routine. “What’s up?”
“Do you have anything for eye bags?” they asked, poking idly at the puffy skin beneath their eyes. It was clear that their mental health hadn’t been in top condition lately, their stress written in the dullness of their skin and drawn across the acne that dotted their face. But Asmo knew better than anyone that pointing out someone’s physical flaws did nothing for self-esteem, so he hadn’t said anything.
“Of course!” he grinned, scooting over a bit to give them some room on his vanity stool. “Skin care is self-care, darling, glad to see you treating yourself.”
The human sat down next to him, and now that they were closer Asmo could tell just how drained they were. They sat with their shoulders slumped, and they had an air of exhaustion about them.
“Oh, dear, haven’t you been sleeping well?” he asked, reaching over to pick up a small tub of cream. “Sleep is extremely important, you know. I’m a hot mess without my beauty sleep.”
“Really?” they quirked an eyebrow at him.
“Emphasis on hot,” he giggled, dabbing his fingertip into the cream. “Now, hold still for me, darling, wouldn’t want to poke your eyes out~”
Beelzebub: Beel had grown to like the quietness of the gym in the morning.
He was one of the few demons who had the diligence to work out every morning, and the ones who did make it a daily habit tended to leave each other alone to work on their own things. Everyone knew each other there, to the point where they each had their own spot where they left their stuff and there was an unspoken rule that nobody touched anyone else’s belongings.
It was also an unspoken rule that anyone who tried would get eaten by Beelzebub but he tried not to think too hard about that one. He still felt kind of guilty about it.
Muscle memory took him over to the bench by the weights where he usually set his things down, and he was in the process of sliding his gym bag off of his shoulder when he realized that there was another bag there that he didn’t immediately recognize. He stared at it for a moment, trying to see if he could figure out who the owner was until he got close enough to smell it.
Usually gym-bag-smell wasn’t something he would actively seek out, let alone find enticing, but he would recognize that scent anywhere. It was the human’s.
Sure enough, when he turned around, there they were, stretching in front of the weight bench. It had been…Beel didn’t even know how long it had been since he had seen them in the gym. They used to go quite frequently. Not enough to call themself a gym rat, but they kept up with their fitness pretty well. Until they didn’t.
Beel hadn’t wanted to pry, but he had been worried about them when they stopped working out. He could tell they were suffering physically from it as well - whatever had stopped them from exercising had also stopped them from taking care of their body in general, and he could tell by the weakness in their arms and the dragging of their feet that they weren’t at the top of their game.
He called out their name as he approached them. “You’re here.”
They jumped, eyes wild before they realized who was talking to them, and they shot him a sheepish grin. “Oh, hey, Beel.”
“You haven’t worked out in a while,” Beel stated matter-of-factly before smiling warmly at them. “It’s good to see you here again.”
“Ah, yeah,” they mumbled, looking away. “Kind of…lost my momentum for a bit, I guess. But!” they perked up. “I’m back at it!”
“Good. That’s good.” Beel dropped his bag next to theirs on the bench. “Want me to spot you?”
Belphegor: He was trying to stay awake this time, honest.
Belphie didn’t exactly have the best track record for showing up to class, much less managing to remain conscious for it. Lucifer had been nagging him lately about his attendance, but he was always nagging him about something. No, the real winner of the annoying yet effective big brother olympics was Mammon, who had looked Belphie dead in the eye and said “I bet you couldn’t show up to class for a whole week if you tried.”
And Belphegor was nothing if not a stubborn asshole.
Although, the dare was about going to class, not staying awake, so technically he could snag a nap and Mammon couldn’t say any - 
Belphie’s eyelids snapped open - he hadn’t even realized he had closed them - when something small and bright blue landed on the desk in front of him. It took a moment for him to refocus, but when he did he noticed that a small folded paper star had bounced in front of him.
He raised an eyebrow before turning to look at the human, who was sitting a few seats away from him looking too innocent for them not to be the culprit.
“Can I help you?” he muttered.
“Wakey-wakey, Belphie,” they grinned back at him. They had surrounded themself with a myriad of different-colored paper stars, something Belphie hadn’t seen them do in quite a long time. They had claimed that keeping their hands busy helped them focus during class, and even outside of class they were usually doing some sort of origami project. But at some point, they had stopped. Maybe someone had pointed it out to them, maybe something happened to make them depressed, he didn’t know. But he had kind of missed seeing their little army of paper animals.
“Can you make a fox?”
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kozachenko · 6 months ago
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Some thoughts on some of the newest CDS chapters below the read more tag for spoiler's sake, since I have read the newest one and have some thoughts
As flawed as Cheating Detective Satori is, one thing I will give it is how it shows the reactions of the spirits and Youkai living in Former Hell to the whole "sealing it up" thing. While I was initially annoyed about the whole "sealing former Hell" thing, I feel like the newer chapters have kinda made the whole thing make more sense, especially in the newest one where Parsee mentions how in the case of a vengeful spirit making too much trouble, Former Hell is just gonna seal right back up and become Hell again, which is a system that has been around since Former Hell was established. I think what this little addition does well is that in retrospect it makes the whole decision of sealing up Former Hell make a bit more sense. Also, the mystery that the latest chapter left off with (Parsee's realization that Former Hell must have been sealed from the outside) is really interesting, and had that bit of realization not been included by Parsee, it probably would've been a major plot hole that Parsee's tunnel also got plugged up when the whole system was made years ago when Former Hell was first established. Also, would Parsee know who Mizuchi is? Or have at least heard of her? Or is Mizuchi kind of treated like an SCP in Former Hell and is kept a secret from everyone else, even though in the earliest chapters of CDS, Satori mentions that Mizuchi has been a bit of a problem before, and Yuugi also knows her sooooo is this a writing mistake or intentional? Although there are a lot of vengeful spirits in Former Hell so knowing who each and every single one is is probably giving the denizens of Former Hell a bit too much credit lol. But still, Mizuchi seems to maybe be a more well known vengeful spirit so I'm still a bit confused on that, or maybe it could just be as simple as Parsee having never met Mizuchi when counseling vengeful spirits.
Maybe certain people aren't allowed to even see Mizuchi since they could be prime targets for her to possess people and escape. Which could also be related to the reason why she escaped in the first place, maybe she possessed someone with a grudge against Reimu or anyone in the Hakurei bloodline and used them to get out of Former Hell?
Also, when you think about that and the fact that Zanmu is the one who proposed the move, it gave me the headcanon that Zanmu also put that system in place since she wouldn't just leave it carelessly unattended. Since it's in her character to think ahead and meticulously plan things, why wouldn't she put this safety measure in place?
Utsuho and Koishi were also really good in this chapter, and Utsuho's title is so fucking good, I love it. Koishi also trying to get the other vengeful spirits to chill out is also a fun detail. Her point about the vengeful spirits not even being allowed to leave regardless is also something interesting to think about. Though it is explained in the manga that the vengeful spirits just needed a reason to attack, the idea of someone getting mad about the loss of a freedom that they would normally never use is very interesting to me.
When the manga is finished I'm most likely gonna do a full review on it, since my last one had way too much swearing and I was also really tired and wanted to sleep and I am just overall not happy with it. Plus, the manga seems like it's starting to get better, and with ZUN himself saying that he's aware of the criticism towards CDS, I'm gonna stay optimistic with this manga. Also, it would be really interesting to see how the people in New Hell react to the restoration of Former Hell, especially Zanmu due to how important she is in the actual creation of Former Hell, although a small part of me thinks that she would just go, "not my Hell, not my problem" and leave it at that, the other part of me thinks that would maybe be a little out of character for her. Like, I don't think she'd be panicking, but at the same time she's not gonna treat it like a non-issue. Though that could just be me since I like Zanmu a lot lol.
All in all, just a lot to think about with this new chapter.
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