#this became a long post but come on now
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I think to withstand that much criticism, and that much pressure is really astounding. It takes so much mental effort, and emotional focus to get your head straight and focus on the race.
And Charles handled it well with the car issues, hence why he canât really compare his race pace with Carlos, and just overall did what he can to bring point for the team. Itâs just the first race to start off for the season, and he wants to win with Ferrari, so now at least he knows the gap and the effort he needs to make sure they are in P2 in WCC, and to bag that 2nd place in the WDC.
Imagine like the official sports commentators no matter what you do you will always get criticized. And fans, they do stuff which can impact your image negatively too, or worse turn on you. Yet when youâre out in public you donât have that luxury of being able to wallow or reflect on how you feel because there would ALWAYS be fans hounding him for an autograph (even during an interview!!!) And to compare how he has the media criticism itâs like there are no other drivers to burn out there except for Charles!! Not to mention the team politics (well the family politics of some other driversâŚout there arguing with the fans wtf like insane mentality man) Insane. Wish I had his mental strength.
He knows how to be hard on himself, but Iâm also glad that when it comes to technical issues, he doesnât really blame anyone in particular just focuses on how he managed what couldâve done better and moved on
Think this season has that added pressure due to the February happenings. Just insane about when you think about it he has so so so much pressure, and tbh its about the LH moving to ferrari, people criticizing the wrong driver was sacked, his involvement outside F1, and the fact that heâs good looking or the tifosi love him so much or even other people using dirty tactics involving his family or his friendsâ-things that are constantly brought up to undermine his passion and talent for driving
Would love to see him more focused and DGAF of things outside racing (like answering pointless questions during interviews). Just glad it wasnât a DNF for him this race!!!
#thoughts#bahrain gp 2024#cl16#charles leclerc#f1#scuderia ferrari#forza ferrari#this became a long post but come on now#charlos#Lewis Hamilton#lestappen#why I admire Charles so much is his mental strength like#f1 is already high pressure#being in ferrari is already extra big pressure#him leading the team adds into that#honestly he can do without the media shitstorm and the team politics
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i reread this scene and i could just. picture it. so vividly.
#homestuck#hom3stuck#home2t4ck#homestuck 2#homestuck beyond canon#hsbc#hs^2#hs2#candy timeline#home24uck#dirk strider#jake english#brain ghost dirk#bgd#dirkjake#admin draws#fanart#mountain of tags oooooffff#mmm nothing like coming back to an update and getting ur heart juiced like an overripe orange for a 2nd time#2nd jake crying post has hit the world trade center#im sooo soso tired today but i want to draw fluff. so thats next on the agenda#ajyeays i hate them t felt like getting puched in the dick again#i love this update. i dont think ill ever really move on from it. no matter what comes next ill always kinda be here.#also this ended up at first accidental but remained A Choice to leave dirk. largely featureless compared to jake#he is just an afterimage after all. the loose outlines that contain the memory of your friend#who you now have to realize. has long passed. hes not by your side#hes buried in a graveyard that you have not visited since he became its resident#he should go sometime. process it properly. id draw it but i dont think i have the chops or patience.#but its a thought.#I FORGOT TO UPDATE THE NEWER PICTURREEJFKGJDFGMGH
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wish i had a consistent character to show for this, but since i don't i just used icons :0]
blank template for those that want it under the cut
#different urls at the time of posting each of these too. from uglyramen to vhsanimal to girlboyburger#slowly my lines get thinner and thinner...#this was rlly cool to put together actually. i ended up digging up like#2016 and before art too#like 2015 is when i became a furry#its rlly evident that i used to just mimic the art styles of furry artists with styles i like#like straight up i found pieces tht i traced (didnt post) from like. okamiwolven and ashketchumsays (i think they go by luxebites now?)#waves my hand#its neat. idk. ive stumbled across pieces in the wild of young slash newer artists clearly referencing or tracing my art#i never thought id be the artist that ppl would learn through like that#im not encouraging creditless tracing btw. but. idk. its hard to articulate the kinds of feelings i get from seeing the cycle#of imitating/tracing to developing your own style but w my stuff#i think it makes me feel nice#its cool that some ppl find my art inspiration or aspirational in that way#this isnt like a weird humblebrag or anything btw its just cool#its also RLLY neat to see the things i was clearly trying to do come through stronger over the years#the lines on the coat of otto in the first icon was my attempt at including crosshatching esque texture#and now i do that For Real with cow's hair and more recently with shadowing#shrugs#ive rambled for too long now. hello tag reader. i hope u have a good night#my art#art style timeline
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Steve spending the night at Eddieâs because his parents are home and theyâve been arguing so he doesnât really wanna be at home. Didnât go to Robin because her parents might not let him stay the night and also Robin has work tomorrow and Steve doesnât. The odd case of them not having shift together.
So he ends up with Eddie and in the morning he is having breakfast with Eddie and Wayne and they discuss their plans for the day. Eddie and Wayne have some plans for the day. You know, to spend some quality family time maybe? Or maybe they have just some errands to run, stuff to figure out because of all the shit that went down during spring break.. Whatever, they have plans for the day and Steve.. doesnât want to intrude any more than he already is so he is not going with them. Even when they say he can come too.
And itâs summer time so the kids are busy with whatever the teens are busy with. And Steve loves them dearly and loves spending time with them but he tries to give them space and not smother them with his worrying so yeah he canât spend the day with them either. Theyâll come to him if they need him.. He could always go bother Robin at work but going to your work place on your free day because you have nothing better to do sounds a little sad.. So maybe heâll just have to suck it up and go back home then.
But then Eddie offers that he could stay. You know he doesnât have to leave just because Wayne and Eddie do. Like he could stay, itâs fine. Theyâll be back by 6 or so and they could have dinner together then? And since Steve really really really doesnât want to go home right now he accepts (after asking about thousand times if itâs really okay tho).
So soon he is left alone with a âFeel free to educate yourself with my music collection while weâre goneâ and see you laters. Steve didnât really have any plans for today and he kinda left in a hurry too so he didnât bring much stuff with him but oh well heâll figure something out.
He starts collecting the breakfast dishes and well he could wash them. He has the time and it would be just nice little gesture since the Munsons let him stay and all. And then it just makes sense to wipe the counters and the table after that. Like who would wash the dishes and then just leave crumbs all over the place? Oh. And I guess he just got some of those crumbs to the floor now. Well itâs just a quick little sweep. Could vacuum the whole place now too since he started. But first he needs to declutter a bit because goddamn Eddie why are your clothes and books just everywhere. Might as well do some laundry while heâs at it.
When Eddie and Wayne come back home around 6pm the place theyâre in for a quite a shock. Not only is the place spotless but theyâre greeted with the smell of food as well. âOh youâre back! Iâm making dinner, itâs just about doneâ Steve welcomes them enthusiastically but start to doubt himself a little after seeing the surprised faces. âI.. hope thatâs okayâ
Only then Steve realizes he may have got little carried away with his cleaning spree. Like maybe cleaning the windows was a tad bit too much.. Ugh he so hopes theyâre not too weirded out.. Honestly he didnât even realize he basically spent all day doing household chores that and itâs not even his own house. He glad the Munsons donât comment on it too much tho, other than âyou didnât have toâ and slightly awkward thank yous.
They start eating and now they drown Steve in compliments. (âWow this is so good, what brand is this?â âUhm.. itâs not a-.. I made itâ ââŚLike from scratch?!â âYeah..â âHoly shit dude this is seriously so fucking deliciousâ âLanguage. But he is right son, this is fucking deliciousâ)
At some point during dinner Wayne makes a comment about it starting to rain and Steve lets out a shocked gasp âmy laundry!â and rushes out to collect it from outside where he hung it to dry. Wayne asks amusedly if Steve is a housewife or something, just ready to crack little jokes there but then spots the dopey smile on his nephewâs face, gaze still lingering in the doorway where Steve run off to. He smiles knowingly at Eddie when he finally looks back at him, now starting to blush and trying to stammer some sort of reply.
Steve comes back in and they finish dinner and hang out a bit together until Steve and Eddie go to Eddieâs room. Steve again apologizes because he got so carried away and hope he didnât cross any lines. Eddie little amusedly asks if Steve really thinks theyâd be mad at him for tidying up the place? Just helping them out a little so they can relax? Like in all seriousness, after all that shit show that happened during spring, Wayne could use a little break and just relax.
(âAnd you couldnât?â âWell sure I could, but in this case he needs it more. If you havenât noticed Iâm not much of help in the cleaning departmentâ âOh yeah, Iâve noticedâ âHey!â âWhat? You asked!â)
Eddie then asks if Steve âeducated himselfâ with the music. Steve tells to educate him himself. Eddie takes that as a challenge.
Steve spends the other night.
#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#st steddie#wayne munson#anyone can be a baby girl but it takes a man to be a wife and all that#steve getting into cleaning zone might be me projecting but letâs not talk about that#he also feels like he needs to be useful to be welcome <3#I was supposed to write a quick funny headcanon but it became this monstrosityđ¤Ą#also waited too long to post this and now I'm anxious because this is so messy#Steve please come clean my brain too#silly thoughts#Also got tired of typing so I'm gonna just stop here good bye
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So. Punz and George. They're both very much defined by their relationships with Dream, probably more than anyone else on the server. It's hard to talk about Punz without bringing up Dream, and it's hard to talk about George without referencing him either. They have lives, of course, but Dream is always at the forefront of their minds. Punz spent a whole year of their life just waiting for Dream's escape; George dreams away the days even after the jailbreak in a fantasy world of his imagination where everything is perfect and he can be with Dream.
But they don't really have a relationship. They don't talk, especially not about Dream, because that would show that they cared, and George is trying to deny that to himself after the dethronement and Punz cannot allow anyone to consider even for a moment that they are on Dream's side or it was all for nothing. So the relationship they do have, weak and distant as it is, is based on bitterness and perceived betrayals and envy.
George doesn't really think about Punz much. If he did, he'd had to think about Dream, and not his Dream, not the Dream that exists only in his dreams now, but the actual, real Dream. The Dream who dethroned him without a second glance. The Dream he abandoned. The Dream locked away in an obsidian prison, rotting away as George sleeps. And George doesn't want to think about Punz. Not when it pulls him out of his dreams and makes him think about Dream.
When he does think about Punz, though, he's not exactly a fan of them. They betrayed Dream; undeniably, inexcusably, they did. They had his trust, and they threw it away for a little extra bit of money. George would never do something like that. Dream left first, after all. Dethroned George first and told him he didn't care what happened to him. Dream never did that to Punz.
And that's important. Dream never turned against Punz; they were the one who chose to betray him. Dream never quite trusted George the same way he did with Punz, and, in the period leading up to the dethronement, he let George in on less and less of his plans, grew closer and closer to his mercenary. George told himself it was because Dream wanted to keep him safe. After the dethronement, he accepted the fact that Dream just didn't care about him anymore, and that it had been a sign of that.
George tells himself that if he had been in the situation as Punz, if Dream trusted him, he would of never done what they did.
Punz...doesn't have a great opinion of George, to tell the truth. They might of pretended to betray Dream, but George (and Sapnap, and everyone who was there and just watched it happen) is the one who actually did. George left. He left and didn't come back, didn't even show up for the arrest/execution (because that's what it really was, an execution, no use dancing around it). He didn't even go visit Dream in Pandora's Vault, even when he had every chance to, even when he didn't have a plan dictating that he absolutely could not do that. Not like Punz did.
Unreliable. Untrustworthy. Uncaring. Those are the nicest words for what George is, at least to Punz. Dream died, twice, and George was nowhere to be found. Just because Dream had been trying to keep him safe. To make sure people didn't try to target George to hurt Dream. And George just left, like that was an option in this game they were all playing, that none of them save Wilbur had chosen to play, like you could just throw up your hands and say "okay, that's it, I'm done" and leave with immunity, taking everything you've done with you. That wasn't how the world worked. And it didn't matter if George understood that or not, because it still hurt Dream, and that was what was important. Because what George did was a betrayal, and because they were already familiar enough with that to know how bitter it tasted. Because Punz had to constantly pretend and reap what they had sown and deal with this betrayal they had committed - not the one they were infamous for but the one in their heart and their brain and the way people looked at them and laughed with them and the way they had agreed to the plan and let Dream die and the sneaking suspicion they had, growing louder every day, that something had gone wrong and that they had to do something about it but that too would be a betrayal - but George didn't, just because he had been there earlier and knew some people longer. Because people trusted him more and he didn't have to prove how reliable he was and how much he hated Dream and all that.
And because George had Dream's love in a way Punz never could. Dream loved too freely, that much was true, but he flinches at every motion Punz that was a little too fast, a little too sudden, and makes sure to call everything a business arrangement, makes sure they're mercenary and client, makes sure to suppress any little trace of attachment that could get either of them hurt. And, even now, even after George has gone and left, Dream still loves George; Punz isn't too blind to reality to miss it. And they had kinder days together, back before everything went wrong; there were no kinder days for Punz, and there never had been.
Despite everything, they're two sides of the same coin: wishing for something that is no longer reachable, no longer possible, because things have changed and because people have changed. Because Dream has changed, partially due to the decisions they made, and there isn't anything they can do to go back to how it was. Not truly.
And neither of them really care about anything or anyone else. They're not here to fight for ideals or morals, they just want to keep the people they love safe and away from the people who would want to hurt them. They are willing to kill for it, but, because of who Dream is, and because that would put them in danger, they can't. They're not allowed to, explicitly in Punz's case, implicitly by Dream pushing George away. Because Dream wants to keep the people he cares about safe, and that can't happen if it looks like he cares about them or vice versa.
(It's only okay if Dream's the one getting hurt, after all)
#punz was raised in the middle of a warzone and became a mercenary in order to survive and get the hell out of#there#back on my bullshit#yes yes i will talk about sapnap (in conjunction with punz) someday#right now it's george time#ranty rant rant#sorry if i got stuff wrong i am so tired right now and finals are coming up#also just me inserting my headcanon#just cause#dsmp#c!george#c!punz#c!dream#dnf#drunz#who would have guessed it#my writing#long post
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hmmmm mal du pays thoughts tonight
#radio rambles#i should go to bed but. it is on the mind#isat spoilers#<- for the . wall of tags to come#imm wondering what most people hc mdp to like. be#i know its most popular to see it as siffrins sadness. i do think thats p neat#and probably the intention#but im. juggling around the idea of? siffrin system moment? mdp as a headmate? if yall see that vision?#most inspired by that âdo u hc this character as a systemâ post abt siffrin#and i voted no then but now im like genuinely changing my mind JFKFKF#it makes sense in a way. and into my mdp hc that it. wouldve split while sif was very young#splitting due to stress which leads to a lot of. gestures vaguely. mdpâs whole thing#a mix of stress but also this sense of longing to. belong somewhere. to not be alone#many years ago it was about the loss of their home. and much later on became more related to its feelings towards their family#mdp is a scared child to me . idk about yalls hcs for it but thats what im sticking to#a scared child who maybe grew up a little alongside the body. but still Young and Scared#its not as often or eager to front as siffrin is. i can imagine it being much more hover-y or . POSSIBLY. cohosting if its feeling up to it#uhm. ok well#so i typed this out and now im actually really sad about mdp jgkdkf where is mdp recovery#now im kinda thinking about it fronting for once to properly meet the party and. and receiving comfort. and and and#wow christ im upset#also also glancing over at marias sibling au for character dynamics hereâŚ.. silliesâŚ..#ps not relevant to my mdp thoughts but fyi im imagining siffin in headspace looks very much like their body#the difference being. much darker clothes. more stars etc. maybe different hair#think like how a lot of ppl style their human loops. thats kinda how i imagine sif in headspace#SPEAKING OF LOOP#i think given the time he spent with them it woulf make sense if they split a loop as well#and ofc other members of the party jgkfkf#im not gonna get into my hcs there because ill b taking away from my mdp hc post BUT#thinking. always thinking
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actually so evil how much of hal's internal world gets obliterated with the rewriting of his relationships with jessica and martin.
#hal jordan#empyrean posting#ok going in the tags because im not actually v confident in my understanding of his character. i read all of his 80s/90s stuff but forgot#90% of it but ANYWAY.#so much of him just does not make sense with how geoff johns characterises him and his relationships with his parents particularly the#parallax stuff simply because of how much his relationship with the guardians and their apathy/'betrayal' is influenced by hal's original#relationship with his dad. like at its heart it's pretty much the same dynamic in how hal blindly trusts and sort of idolises the guardians#despite their repeated infractions in hope of... something in return just as he had with his father and the abuse he suffered at martin's#hands. that's what makes his anger at the guardians make sense when it does show itself because the relationship parallel didn't stop there.#as with martin hal gets nothing for his devotion. he gets nothing for doing everything that's asked of him and more and it ends the same way#too: with a man in the sky burning like a newborn star. and you lose so much of that nuance and intrigue behind that if you just make#jessica the 'bad one' because!!! you cheapen it!!!!#the whole idea of hal is that he has his father's face but his mother's scars#(to me). in the sense that they both reacted to martin the same way with that cognisance of who he was as a man yet inability to pull away#because... love. both the love they had for him and the conviction that he did or could love them too. and jessica arguably did eventually#but also she didnt did she? because she held onto that notion of love till the very end. the few scraps she had she ballooned outwards until#they became the whole. but hal didnt have even that and he spent his whole life chasing it & running away from wanting it at the same time#like i think there's something so interesting to the fact that he had to be convinced that flying was what he wanted to do. how much of that#was touched by his father? the fear that he was already too much like him than he could bear to be? he already had his face now he had his#dreams and longing for the sky. how much more could he have before he began repeating the cycle?#and at the end he even had his father's death. burning in the clouds. like there's so much there and that's not even touching on how it#impacts his relationships with other heroes. not just in the sense of why did kyle clark and diana get to keep their close yet complex#relationships with their moms when hal had to lose his (although yeah why did they) but also just how he lets himself come across to them.#because it's on purpose right? that he lets them think his reflection of his father is born out of unadulterated love for a man worthy of it#? he has his father's job he wears his father's jacket he smiles his father's smile. what else are they supposed to think.#and isnt that interesting!!! that this man who is so committed to being good & just can lie so casually to people he thinks of as friends!!!#can you see how that might be his mother through and through!!! in how she might have glossed over the abuse to other people and herself!!!#can you see how in spite of it all he might want to be perceived as his father that paragon of masculinity and resent that he is not!!!#do you understand how everything he loves has been poisoned!!! im thinking of that scene where he tells bruce about watching martin die &#wouldnt it have been so much more interesting through this lens. how he is both revealing & obfuscating at once. i hate the change sm
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"You'll come back," Manon said.
It sounded like more of a threat than anything
Dorian smirked. "Would you miss me if I didn't?"
Manon didn't reply. He didn't know why he expected her to.
He'd taken all of a step, when Asterin clasped his shoulder. "In and out, quick as you can," she warned him. "Take care of Narene." Worry indeed shone in the Second's gold-flecked black eyes. Dorian bowed his head. "With my life," he promised as he approached her mount and grasped the dangling reins. He didn't fail to miss the gratitude that softened Asterin's features. Or that Manon had already turned away from him.
A fool to start down this path with her. He should have known better.
The hours that passed were some of the longest of Manon's existence.
From anticipation, she told herself. Of what she had to do.
Abraxos, unsurprisingly, found them within an hour, his reins sliced from the struggle he'd no doubt waged and won with Sorrel. He waited, however, beside Manon in silence, wholly focused upon the gate where Dorian and Narene had vanished.
Time dripped by. The king's sword was constant weight at her side. She cursed herself for needing to prove-to him, to herself-that she refused to let him go into Morath for practical, ordinary reasons. Erawan wasn't at the Ferian Gap. It'd be safer. Somewhat. But if the Matrons were there ⌠That was why he'd gone. To learn if they were. To see if Petrah truly commanded the host there, and how many Ironteeth were present. He had not been trained as a spy, but he'd grown up in a court where people wielded smiles and clothes like weapons. He knew how to blend in, how to listen. How to make people see what they wished to see. She'd sent Elide into the dungeons of Morath, Darkness damn her. Sending the King of Adarlan into the Ferian Gap was no different.
It didn't stop her breath from escaping when Abraxos stiffened, scanning the sky. As if he heard something they couldn't.
And it was the joy that sparked in her mount's eyes that told her.
Moments later, Narene sailed toward them, making a lazy path over the mountains, a dark-haired, pale-skinned rider atop her. He'd truly been able to change parts of himself. Had made his face nearly unrecognizable. And kept it that way.
Asterin rushed toward the mare, and even Manon blinked as her Second threw her arms around Narene's neck. Holding her tight. The mare only leaned her head against Asterin's back and huffed.
Manon hadn't dwelled long on what she'd say.
And as the three hundred Ironteeth witches filed into the hall, some coming off their patrols, Manon half wondered if she should have. They watched her, watched the Thirteen, with a wary disdain.
Their disgraced Wing Leader; their fallen Heir.
When all were gathered, Petrah, still standing in the doorway where she'd appeared, merely said, "My life debt for an audience, Blackbeak."
Manon swallowed, her tongue as dry as paper. Seated atop Abraxos, she could see every shifting movement in the crowd, the wide eyes or hands gripping swords.
"I will not tell you the particulars of who I am," Manon said at last. "For I think you have already heard them."
"Crochan bitch," someone spat.
Manon set her eyes on the Blackbeaks, stone-faced where the others bristled with hatred. It was for them she spoke, for them she had come here.
jacket, then hoisting up her white shirt. Rising in the stirrups to bare her scarred, brutalized abdomen. "She does not lie."
UNCLEAN
There, the word remained stamped. Would always be stamped.
"How many of you," Asterin called out, "have been similarly branded? By your Matron, by your coven leader? How many of you have had your stillborn witchlings burned before you might hold them?"
The silence that fell now was different from before. Shaking shuddering.
Manon glanced at the Thirteen to find tears in Ghislaine's eyes as she took in the brand on Asterin's womb. Tears in the eyes of all of them, who had not known. And it was for those tears, which Manon had never seen, that she faced the host again.
"You will be killed in this war, or after it. And you will never see our homeland again."
"What is it that you want, Blackbeak?" Petrah asked from the archway.
"Ride with us," Manon breathed. "Fly with us.
Against Morath. Against the people who would keep you from your homeland, your future." Murmuring broke out again. Manon pushed ahead, "An Ironteeth-Crochan alliance. Perhaps one to break our curse at last."
Again, that shuddering silence. Like a storm about to break Asterin sat back in the saddle, but kept her shirt open.
"The choice of how our people's future shall be shaped is yours," Manon told each of the witches assembled, all the Blackbeaks who might fly to war and never return. "But I will tell you this." Her hands shook, and she fisted them on her thighs. "There is a better world out there. And I have seen it."
Even the Thirteen looked toward her now.
"I have seen witch and human and Fae dwell together in peace. And it is not weakness to do so, but a strength. I have met kings and queens whose love for their kingdoms, their peoples, is so great that the self is secondary. Whose love for their people is so strong that even in the face of unthinkable odds, they do the impossible."
Manon lifted her chin. "You are my people. Whether my grandmother decrees it so or not, you are my people, and always will be. But I will fly against you, if need be, to ensure that there is a future for those who cannot fight for it themselves. Too long have we preyed on the weak, relished doing so. It is time that we became better than our foremothers." The words she had given the Thirteen months ago. "There is a better world out there," she said again. "And I will fight for it." She turned Abraxos away, toward the plunge behind them. "Will you?"
Manon nodded to Petrah. Eyes bright, the Heir only nodded back. They would be permitted to leave as they had arrived: unharmed.
So Manon nudged Abraxos, and he leaped into the sky, the Thirteen following suit.
Not a child of war. But of peace.
#Dorian Havilliard#Manon Blackbeak#Chapter 43#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#1st read-readW me-read along-no spoilers please-chapter spoilers in the post&tag+more notes/quotes/ reacts/annotations/etc-ordinary dagger#would be his only weapon-and the magic in his veins-If I don't come back he said while she tied the ancient blade2her keys must go2Terrasen#the only place he could think of-even if Aelin wasn't ther2take them-them u'll come back Manon said It sounded like more of a threat than#Dorian smirked Wouldumiss me if I didn't-Take care of Narene Worry indeed shone in the 2nd gold-flecked black eyes-A fool2start down this#pathW her He should have known better-hours that passed were some of the longest of Manon's existence-Time dripped byKings sword a weight at#her sideShe cursed herself4needing2prove-2him2herself-that she had-she refused2let him go in2Morath4practical ordinary reasons Erawan wasnt#Ferian Gap Itd b safer Somewhat-He had not been trained as a spy but hed grown up in a court where people wielded smiles&clothes like weapon#He knew how2blend in how2listenHow2make people see what they wished2see-She'd sent Elide in2the dungeons of Morath-Darkness dam her it didnt#s2p her breath from escaping when Abraxos stiffened scanning the skyAs if he heard something they couldn't-& it was the joy that sparked in#her mounts eyes that2ld her-Asterin rushed2ward the mare&even Manon blinked as her 2nd threw her arms around Narenes neck Holding her tight-#Their disgraced Wing Leader; their fallen Heir-It was4them she spoke4them she had come here-Crochan bitch-hell no that's a witch queen-She#doesnt lie-UNCLEAN There the word remained stamped Would always bstamped How many of U-silence that fell now was different from be4 shaking#shuddering-Tears in the eyes of all of them who hadnt known&it was4those tears which Manon had never seen that she faced the host againManon#ifted her chin u are my people-Whether my gr&mother decrees it so or notuare my people&always will bBut I will fly againstuif need B2ensure#theres future4those who cannot fight4it themselves2o long have we preyed on the weak relished doing so It is time that we became better than#our4emothers-words shes given the13-Theres a better world out there she said again-& I will fight4it She turned Abraxos away2ward the plunge#behind them Will u-their if u die ill kill u vibe-ugh obviouslyulove each other just get over it-warned hum-my life-gratitude even softened#the witch-Shapeshifter-bye bluebell birdie-His ice-the Valg-just this once-if it keeps them alive then good enough-him&Vesta-terse-dont let#Aelin go4them either please-& the magic in his veins-his true weapon is smarts-come back-she cared her eyes say it all-Wmy life-not a fool#just in love-colds their middle name-her waitingđ-Lys would bproud of his skill-joy in wyverns is giving cuz she screamed4U like I did-Petra#their fallen Heir-a life debt-yes I had2switch2short dashes thereâs just2o much going on all the time-4 them she spoke2gather2save-Asterin b#b-made-are monsters born or maid chicken egg wyvern solved-only queen-k how old r they-glory-always-my bb13crying2gether now imma cry-ur#Future is giving a better world vibes-I have seen it-a good queen-real love-u are my people-yes Manon speech-not a child of war but of peace#Manorian#The Thirteen
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pata hai last kuch din i was very busy with my project kyunki final dena tha and binding karni thi etc to wo karwayi then i went to the bookfair bekaar tha then parso submit karne jaa rahi to subah accident hogaya (bhai ki bike skid hogayi and we fell down) and now i have a big ass blue bruise on my upper thigh and my parents don't even know lmao and kal ek science conference thi to i had to sit in an auditorium for 6 hours listening to accomplished people speak. that's what you missed now your turn
omg i knew everything in this except for the accident cause i stalk your blog vigorously everyday are you okay!!!!!!!!!! did you get tetanus shots!!!!!!!!!! also on your upper thigh oh no that's where future jiju is supposed to write MINE na as per our beloved song guilty as sin?
#did u have fun at the conference it must've been cool huh women in stem and all that#bookfair being bad is so sucky i was so excited for you to go i thought you'd send pictures too of books we like#also u already know everything i posted everything and every thought#i ate chinese but it didn't feel that good because my sister isn't here and we didn't eat it together watching#koffee or splitsvilla and i realised that it's not just the chinese food it's the whole hanging out that i love sm :((#kal well i told you pata hai the brownie place we met it's kinda new and cool types so uske bathroom mein#there was a button and it said press at your own risk and when we did it became a dj like the lights went out and#there when flashing spinning disco lights and party songs were playing mere mein wo aaya hum toh naye andaz hai apna purana#it was sooo cool im adding it to the list of places you'll visit when u come here!!!!!!!#also the food was soooo shockingly reasonably priced everything was under 200 rs!!!!! which is big for a dessert place here#and like great quantity great taste too my stupid people from office used to say it's awesome but i didn't believe them and never tried it#because they're all losers lol but i grudgingly admit that they were right#also ummmm hmm okay pata hai i realised ki oh okay im happy with who i am#like bachpan mein i used to feel very sad and loser like because dad was too strict to let me go out raat ko and everyone in school would#go to this club we went to kal and i always felt i was missing out and i wanted to be all cool and fun too#but it was kinda so boring and normal and i was like wow okay i didn't miss out i was spending days and nights reading books being in#fandoms and i was actually very happy!!!!! so like yay idk small thing bt yk i realised that oh it was okay and everything will be okay too#i kinda want to talk to that guy now like i weirdly feel like im longing for what could've been? which is ridiculous because#we were 11 and i barely talked to him back then because shy and friends would tease and i didn't realise it was a crush#i don't want to DATE him because like tbh i already know we're very different people but like wouldn't it be fun to idk make out once#then i got the urge to download dating app but i resisted the urge and won i don't think im made for casual things#me and my bestie were laughing about this yesterday too she was like i just don't understand how people can have sex one day and then#not give a fuck about each other the next day like idk if we have sex im having your kids and i was like ikrrrr like bhai sex is toh very#big im going to be attached if we hug i literally did!!!!! so we decided no more casual/situationships for us#phew okay more rambling on whatsapp love u bye this became too long#saumyuuuuuu
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the most wholesome thing is seeing that the wholesome post blog runner is probably one of the nicest people ever :3 iâm generally Terrified of sending asks especially to a blog that Does Things like this but seeing you talk in the tags instead of just reblogging and moving on makes you seem very friendly and approachable !!!! and i hope u know i appreciate that :] i hope you have a wonderful day and both sides of your pillow are always cool and that if you see a random cat on the sidewalk it wonât run away from U âĄ
woah, META-WHOLESOME!! thank ya for the compliment, i try my best to carry out those kinds of traits i value!!!!! iâm SUPER super glad that ya did!!! THANK YOU THANK U!! always appreciating how much of an impact this lil blog has on top of appreciating u for sharing as much with me :-)
itâs always a TRIP getting to hear that something i do that i wasnât even really mindfully doing makes all the difference?? iâm just really, REALLY grateful for all the different kinds of posts that get sent my way and seeing cool + uplifting + sentimental + OVERALL WHOLESOME posts that i express my thanks + ramble a bit in the tags haha !!
i ALSO hope you have as terrific of a day as youâre able to! and i hope youâll enjoy seeing more posts pop up!
AND YOUâLL NEVER BELIEVE but i got new pillow cases like a week ago THAT DO JUST THAT! AND THEREâS A NEW CAT ON THE STREET WHO HANGS OUT WITH ME SOMETIMES (iâve been planning to see if he has a microchip, but i know for a fact that the neighbors who feed all the stray cats on our street already have a cage + are well-versed in TNR, so iâve been thinking about asking them first because the thought that someone could be out there looking for their pal is enough for me to âdo it scaredâ) !! SO THANK U NOT ONLY FOR THE SWEET SENTIMENTS BUT ALSO FOR THE UNEXPECTED HILARITY OVER THE FACT THAT THEYâVE COME TRUE???
#and i get it!! running a gimmick blog (as iâve heard it be described) is v v different from the other blogs iâve got going!!#ik iâve said it in the past but i genuinely think what makes for the lack of ambiance is the fact that i didnât really? start this blog out#as a gimmick blog in mind?? it was kind of just for me to âarchiveâ Solidly Wholesome posts in one place#by the dates i saw/read through them + let them flow over me. because thereâs already a timestamp ya know?#but the Vision was that iâd go through this blog + see that a year ago on a particular day was Important#which is still something i do when i have the the time BUT now i ALSO get sent wholesome posts!!! which WOAH#became a collective effort whether youâve mentioned me in one post or climbing up to the triple digits now haha!!! i appreciate them all#TRULY :-)#and iâll also admit that i donât really remember if i kept the ask + submission channels open because i thought âhey maybe iâll get one#or two someday from someone?â or if i kinda forgot to close âem because i think i only block Anonymous automatically for all the blogs#iâve got?? THAT will probs be a mystery for a long time to come if not forever BUT am glad itâs all worked out in ways i never saw coming!!#also APOLOGIES FOR NOT ONLY RAMBLING IN THE TAGS BUT THE ASK!!#Apple Pie is defs a priority for me rn and iâve done some research + talked to my neighbors about TNR being the best bet in our area#last we spoke anyhow which was some time ago#also my parents apparently got into taking stray cats to a TNR program a few cities over so iâll ask âem too probably???#BUT FIRST THINGâS FIRST: checking for a microchip#10/13/2023#asks#wholesomepostarchive
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sometimes i log in here and scroll down my dash for a little while and feel kinda good and happy that some of my old friends are still here doing this thing together and having fun
#i know by now i can never somehow stay long when i've tried to come back#and i wouldn't expect anyone to welcome someone as flaky as i became back anyway lol given that fact#but it's nice to dwell in the pleasant memories and see that some of you dears are still here#if anyone is seeing this post: hi i miss you
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talking to new people again is making me realize that (this is gonna sound dramatic) i haven't lived in five years but what i have done is watch a lot of movies and read a bunch of books and believe it or not that actually makes me an interesting conversationalist in some ways (?)
#and like i say: brf slt#they don't know i'm crazy and as long as you're normal about it having seen a lot of movies just makes you come off as someone who's like#interested in culture i guess. which i am. but it's fun#and the books thing too and also knowing a lot about sociology#i have things to say jokes to make so in two months they haven't even realized i haven't lived a life yetđ#i didn't even do it on purpose the way it happened is in 2019 i was very depressed suicidal etc then i got better but i was focused on#like...idk. basically getting used to being okay with being alive again? then it was 2020 and we didn't have classes in person full time#until september 2021. that's how it was for university students here. i did hang out with people but no one i LOVED or actually became#close with and it's true that i could have tried harder but i didn't because guys i love being by myselfđđđ#then three years went by and now we're here. it's fine it's just that i don't have a lot of anecdotes that aren't old because LITERALLY#nothing has happened to me. nothing#that's not true i did talk about something semi-recent to my bff on friday it was about my 'friends' who hated on everyone the same way i#did when i was literally 12 and about how anxiety inducing it was because after a while i was like is this how they talk about me when i'm#not around𤨠i actually talked about that then. january or february 2023#this has been in my drafts for a week and i talked about the post i talk about in that last tag last week when i talked about my mutual who#blocked me that's the post she replied to to give me adviceđ#also it's funny i said they don't know i'm crazy and a guy asked me what my favorite tv shows were and i don't know why i actually gave him#my full list like it's funny because like i said they think i like like good movies and good television and interesting books and stuff#and i know the shows i told him made him reassess that (which is fine but it's just funny) and also i told him i'm watching gilmore girls#for the 18th time and he was like you're joking i was like hm...and then he was like no you're being serious because it's way too#precise...and THAT i could have not told him. i was like whyyy did i tell him that...but it's fine#HE HADN'T EVEN HEARD OF SUCCESSION? 34-year-olds...#i mentioned the sopranos a couple weeks ago and my future bff was like what is that and i was like ? then i asked two more people and they#didn't know the show either so i was like i'll ask him (34-year-old) i know he'll know the sopranos and he was like OBVIOUSLY i know#the sopranos it's supposed to be one of the best shows of all time and later i asked if he had seen succession and he'd never even heard of#it? crazy. i mean if it had been anyone else i wouldn't have thought it was crazy but i expected HIM to know succession
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#stupid and kinda selfish parasocial thought but like...#i cant help but think what if this just cements them all distancing themselves from each other#because i cant imagine how fucking difficult it would to even Consider being close/talking after one of them is gone?#and so. its just easier. to go their own way. instead of dealing with the pain that something is missing.#so no more happy 1d anniversary. no more oh yeah i talked to him recently.#idk like im definitely thinking about this way too much but.#i guess it just sort of felt like there was perhaps hope before?#we had time. for stuff to Maybe fix itself.#but now it's forever broken.#its weird because i think i Thought id already come to terms with that because of everything thats happened. i never expected anything#you can only talk about the 'break' for so long before it became a joke#but this is like. real.#idk what im saying. i really need to go to bed im so tired#liam payne#death#le text post
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#psyching myself up to try and watch the new series of heartstopper#I don't make a lot of personal posts these days and it feels easier to talk about this in the tags for some reason now - like I'm whisperin#but series 2 absolutely wrecked me in a way that is not entirely healthy#isaac's storyline is just a bit too close to home for me and I became a bawling mess every single time he was on screen#and not in a cathartic way. in a like I am dredging up the trauma of growing up aroace without having fully come to terms with it yet way.#I've come such a long way with slowly starting to feel pride in being aroace even in just the last few months#that I wondered if I'd actually be fine with it this time. I even considered rewatching s2 in preparation. turns out I'm not fine.#I watched a recap of s2 to try and remember what happened and uhhhh that clip of isaac rejecting that love interest in the bookshop#(with the novel loveless blurry in the background) has already brought up emotions.#then I thought I'd scroll some spoilers in his character tag just to prepare myself for what would happen with him this season#and just reading posts (mild spoilers here) about him being proudly aroace have sent me into paroxysms of sobbing yet again so....#I've honestly come such a long way in the last few years and the last few months. I'm even talking about it on tumblr now.#but I guess most of my work on that front has been accepting the present and the future of not having or wanting a partner.#whereas there's still a lifetime of trauma from the way it made me feel in the past#both growing up feeling alienated and having no idea what was different about me and the extent to which I tried to make it not be true#for years after first having an inkling of it being a possibility. I would have done anything to make myself alloromantic.#(the realisation of asexuality came later and was more of a 'huh I guess that makes sense' thing lol)#and even though I no longer want to change this fact about who I am#I guess I'm more traumatised by it all than I consciously realised. genuinely thought I'd be fine at this point.#anyway ramble over. I'm actually not sure if I should watch the new season or not. will it be helpful to work through the emotions?#or just re-traumatise me? felt more like the latter last time so hmmm.#guess I'm going to have to think about it.#it feels ridiculous that such a fluffy show - in which the character in question is pretty minor - should provoke such a reaction#but there you go#mine#tag chat#personal
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I love finding out there's yet another small thing wrong with me đ
#not like a diagnosis or something just like. how my brain has been wired#when stuff has never been an option for me in the past i just dont think about it anymore even if it is an option now#even stuff that has never been told to me#like i was working on a project and i didnt have enough felt to make it so i just went âwell that sucksâ and did something else instead#and then my mom comes in like an hour into my improvisation and im telling her this#and shes like âwe could have gone to the store? you shouldve askedâ#and it just never crossed my mind as an option#because i have been trying so hard not to inconvenience people my entire life that going to the store became something that we planned to do#and it was either on the way to/from something or explicitly planned for a day and time#so ive never considered just. going spontaneously#esp to get something unimportant#so it was just immediately vetoed by my brain because 'oh youre busy you dont have time for that trips to the store take too long'#so thats nice#i dont know what to do with myself now#i love finding out more about how pleasing everyone in my life has affected me#<<sarcasm#aaaand thats why im now crying!#this is fun#potat rambles#vent post#tw vent#<kinda? its just venty tags#idk being safe with it
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Ok
#kinda vent post cause ive been anxious ever since we got coffee this evening#I promise I'm not trying to be weird or anything. I'm just#I just really don't want to screw this up. I know we spent almost the last year avoiding each other#And I know things between us were rocky for a bit before that#and I hope I'm not overwhelming you. I know things won't be better overnight#I know we've distanced so much and theres so much awkward history there. I know things are different now#And I respect that. I respect your relationship and your new life. I'm not trying to impose or make you uncomfortable#I'm just anxious and tbh scared an nervous too. I don't want to fuck this up. If theres a chance for us to be close friends again I want it#Im so so so scared of fucking it up. I feel like I forgot how to be friends & after the way I left things Im scared that I lost my chance#I'm scared that it's not gonna work and that a permanent goodbye is in our future. I'm scared that you won't want me around after all#I would understand if that became the case.. but I really don't want that#I cant text you this without seeming like an overbearing clingy anxious mess of an ex but ive been on the verge of a panic attack all night#just for the fear that I'm fucking up already somehow. Just the fear that this isn't going to work and I shouldn't even try#I think I spent so long avoiding you that now I don't know what to do with myself. But I'm trying to be normal#I promise I dont have any motives other than missing a really great friendship and being tired of missing friends#And maybe I still have a ways to go in the emotional healing department but I think I'm ok enough to try. I've been ok for a while now#If you see this please know that I mean every word. If you never see it thats ok because I just need to get it off my chest before I burst#I don't want to scare you off or lose you again. if thats what it comes to then know I'll always miss and appreciate you for all my days#Thats all. Ive been a ball of nerves all evening & I just needed to air this out cause having this weight sitting on my chest is too much#emma rambles#personal#vent post
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