#because i cant imagine how fucking difficult it would to even Consider being close/talking after one of them is gone?

[rainingincale]

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[like-rain-or-confetti]

Can you do a little text with your opinion about the Volturi members? What you like and dislike, they personality, they story... Would be interesting! Kissessss and have a great day! 💜

Imma have a little fun and throw the very young me into the mix to. Let's see child me vs adult me's opinions on the Volturiiii.

Fun fact: I wasn't team Volturi until I was like fifteen. Before that I was team edward... I don't want to talk about that 🤔😒

Also I'm a sucker for villains. If it isn't obvious already, I like the villains more than the heroes. (We all love a bad boy though, don't we?--- TIK TOK NOW IS NOT THE TIMEE.)

So everything i say is just my opinion and should be taken just as that.

Aro: Younger me was like "this...is a terrible person. There really is no need to expand on this." However adult me has been like "GUYS this guy is possibly the SCARIEST character. This man rips off heads AND SMILES ABOUT IT." He gives me child snatcher vibes (from the movies in particular). I thoroughly enjoy the power hungry persona. He's really fitting to be the puppeteer behind the Volturi. Even if he makes it seem it's a group effort with himself, Marcus and Caius. Realistically, Aro gets what he wants and isn't afraid to do what it takes to get it...sorry Didyme. What's even darker about it, WHICH I LOVE, is that he isn't heartless. Smeyer wrote that Aro genuinely loved his sister. It's all good to have a character that's a evil heartless monster but what's more terrifying to me is the ability for someone to do evil despite their love and emotions. It doesn't hold them back and that's what I find particularly frightening now that child me didn't comprehend. Micheal Sheen, from what I remember of his interview years ago, played on the idea that vampires of Aro's age kinda begin to lose their mind. Which, hell freaking yes. However there is one thing I hate for Aro's character that happened in the movies. Breaking dawn part 2. That fucking laugh. Don't get me wrong, hilarious. I can't not laugh but for his character I felt it was too 'hey hey I'm a crazy man hehe'. It was a but too much, even for an eccentric Aro. However, I'm not to mad at it because again, it was funny to watch. I thoroughly enjoy the ‘friendship’ Aro and Carlisle share and i love that it is ‘maintained’ throughout the books. I think it’s just a really nice detail. (I love lore. I am a sucker for it.) The one thing that didnt sit right with me is Aro marrying someone so that he wasnt the alone one whilst his co-leaders were very much in love? Was a little off for me but i suppose that just adds to the character.

Caius: child me would shrink into the seat because what did I do to this man? High key still think I wouldn't want to be Caius' child because imagine doing something wrong and you get that glare? No thank you! Scary angry man. As an adult... "He's an angry boi but...DAYUM WHY IS HE SUDDENLY SO HOT?" Just...don't get angry with me. You'll get annoying real quick and you're too pretty for that. I enjoy the taking-no-shit attitude he has but felt it could have been a little more prominent in BDP2 where Aro asks if Caius' is challenging him. I full believe Caius to an extend would be like "yes, yes I am. Don't be an idiot Aro. Use that braincell!" Which is why I adore the meme vibes I see every now and then of Caius hating Carlisle because why does Aro love that blonde so much? CAIUS HAS BEEN NOTHING BUT LOYAL-- Anyways, I can totally get why Aro wants him on his team. Caius is so angry and has so much hatred that he’s a good asset to the coven, even if not having a special ability.I do find it hard to imagine that Caius is a century older than Aro though. Although I cant picture him over forty years old lol. Although i do personally enjoy the whole Caius x Athenodora route. IT’S TRUE LOVE! Okay so maybe thats a little dramatic but its better than Aro’s lmao.

Marcus: movie Marcus is absolutely not nineteen years old and that's just a fact. If anything, he's the forty year old one lmao. Child me couldn't care about this man. He was the man who said nothing and slumped on a throne. That was Marcus. That was his character summed up. Then adult me rolled in and OMG NO DON'T DO THIS TO THIS SWEET MAN. LET HIM BE IN LOVE. As an adult i definitely became more attached. I feel like i was too young back then to get why Marcus was in the Volturi. He seemed very out of place and like a filler co-leader more than anything. However as i’ve gotten older (and written for him), I recognised that's the point. That’s Marcus’ evident grief. He isn’t there by choice and losing Didyme caused him to fall out of line with the coven. He’s lost point or purpose. Almost like its become meaningless because the love of his life was gone and he couldn't save her.So what was the aims of the Volturi to protect vampire kind when they couldn’t protect their own? He couldnt protect her. I had never heard of anything like bond identification and once i had- i was shook, like it became clear why he had been so necessary in the first place. That really is handy to understand everyones bonds in a coven, he could direct Chelsea and the two alone could destroy covens by bonds alone. Marcus makes the Volturi more realistic in a lot of ways. Like in a family, there is the happy times, goofy people like Felix, the twins representing a close bond. Afton and Chelsea, love that cant be divided. The list really goes on. Marcus represents love and heartbreak, pain, loss grief, the sad moments every family goes through. In that way he makes the coven seem less invincible, a group of people who at the end of the day, have their own weaknesses and immortality doesn’t mean a perfect existence. Especially when, in my opinion, Bella fantasized about immortality and how perfect it would be. Even after her change, she waited for her happy ending because that was somehow guaranteed in some level. Which in the end, she got but not everyone gets that happy ending we all want. I also personally think Marcus is the most feeling of the Volturi, despite being apathetic. A result of heartbreak. It’s shown he can still feel more in his own ways when he voted against Renesmee being destroyed. Furthermore, he advocated that vampire hybrids were a lot like vampires. He made that relation openly before anyone. Its almost as though losing Didyme helped him value a life?

Jane and Alec: Child me thought these two were  badass...and that still remains in my adult life. It’s always been uncomfortable to me that someone so young is so sadistic and powerful. Jane is the older twin with the ability of pain illusion...yikes. Her ability was evident in her human life along with Alec’s. His gift is sensory deprivation and these two were my favourites in the whole Saga. Still kind of are if im honest. I thoroughly enjoy the twins backstory. It has the most detail. I have a tag for the twins. Canon!twins is the tag for the twins in their book age. Unless this tag is present, the twins have been aged up :). They are very much canon but I put a bit more emphasis on tantrums. If they get angry, they both have tantrums. So whilst (unless tagged) they aren't children they can be very childish and these tantrums are pretty deadly. They’re also very possessive? I dont even know if thats the right word i’m looking for in all honesty. Lets say they get very attached if they like you. These two are probably the most secluded out of the whole Volturi.

Felix: Felix! High ranking guard due to strength and speed. I am a major supporter of Felix being a gladiator when he was human. He as a lighter grey cloak meaning he isn’t as high ranked but is so good at what he does that he’s been kept for centuries...and a lot of them. Personality? FINALLY, WE’VE GOT ONE WITH PERSONALITY!! (Im writing these out of order and i’ve just finished a chunk of Volturi members who have personalities as invisible as Afton.) Flirtatious and Light hearted, we love flirtatious and light hearted! Basically a comedian! Helllll yes, keep it going! Extremely vicious and highly aggressive? You know what? I still like it. He wouldn’t be a Volturi without a dark side. Cold blooded murderer. Yes. 10/10. Finally, someone Smeyer seems to actually care about. He flirted with Bella a couple of times in the books and i was FOR IT ALL THE WAY. I was very sad i saw none of it in the movies but im used to heartbreak by now. Im in this fandom after all. We were robbed of a lot. Strongest vampire in the world? I believe you, he’s also a hecking treeeeee. HE DO BE A TALL BOI. He actually makes Demetri look small and that’s still hilarious to me. Demetri is actually tall. However, if it isnt obvious we clearly traded backstory for personality. I cant get both smh. So...as i said before I fully believe Felix was a gladiator back in the day, hence his physique and height and excellent fighting abilities he has even as a vampire but then it kind of ends. I will say from the dawn of time, i don’t think Felix is the most academic man, just because of his era. I also think majority of the Volturi couldn’t read of write in their human lives and had to learn much older, most learning as vampires. Felix was one of these vampires, Although even now he isnt the most great at it. Then a wonderful writer known as @wallwriterstuff included it and now it’s canon in my eyes. I fully believe Felix is a slow reader and writing isn’t his strong suit either. Wallwriter also includes the possibility that Felix could be dyslexic which im all for too. For a very long time i’ve considered writing a dyslexic reader with the Volturi but have always hesitated because i don’t have it and wouldn’t want to upset someone for any misunderstandings or inaccuracies. However what i will say is that i think vampires would be the most understanding to humans with dyslexia. Learning things like that in later development or as an adult is difficult and they wouldnt think any less of you for struggling with reading, writing, numeracy- you name it. You’ll probably find they’re with you in the struggle at least half of the time. He’s also the goofball of the Volturi, even though he’s not really a goofball in our eyes, he’s the closest to a goofball out of the whole Volturi ...Emmett beats him in the Goofball wars.

Demetri: Oh yeah, it's Demetri's turn! So Demetri was previously in Amun's coven. When Chelsea gave him the old razzle dazzle...I've said Chelsea's gift so many times at this point it's getting old. I have two characters left after Demetri 😂😂 Anyway, with that Demetri was like "welp, I'm in the Volturi now." And now that they had a better tracker the previous one was kicked out. He isn’t much of a talker, polite and formal. He’s elegant (more graceful than i could ever be) and charming...yeah he is, you can say that AGAIN. He is also very calm, when next to Felix, i think everyone is calm but you know, we’ll say he’s a very calm person. I like how he was originally in the Egyptian coven with Amun. Given Amun’s goals this a pretty nice detail. NOW LETS GO TO MY VERSION. He’s very charming, calm, polite, formal and even a lil’ but quiet, i kept him pretty canon because he actually had a description to go on :))))))))))  Moving on. Demetri can be a very successful flirt when he wants to be and does have a Casanova reputation. However beyond the charming Volturi guard who has a brutal side like the rest of them, he has a chewy centre, deep down. I added that he had a child in his human life, one he doesn’t remember and very few people know about. He remembers that they died of an illness very young (around six?) but can’t remember what they look like. For that reason he doesn’t like talking about his child, he feels awful he doesn’t remember them and the loss still hits a pang in his chest. 

Heidi: Alright im ready for this one! Child me didn’t necessarily enjoy Heidi? I was rather passive about her. It was all ‘pretty vampire used for her looks’ in my eyes back then and i was never comfortable with that. I’ll get into my take on Heidi in a moment, roll on the backstory!  So Heidi knew Victoria as they used to be coven mates and we’re going to continue on as though Heidi didn’t care when she was killed? Like...its genuinely a burning question in my mind! If she didn't care, could that show the extent of Chelsea’s power in action!? (can we tell im enthusiastic about this coven yet?) It’s quite smart to have someone lure in prey. I wont lie, Heidi has quite the badass role in the coven. I wouldn't have thought about that I reckon. I’ve always thought that showed a kind of superiority. Oh you guys need to hunt your prey? pfft, ours literally comes to us. Her backstory really starts with Heidi being mistreated in her human life...a common theme Smeyer has. It can get old- i wont lie but when i give it some thought it kind of makes sense. Rosalie said it herself in eclipse, if any one of them had their happy ending, they’d be six feet under but i’d love a little bit more creativity. I could go on about how male vampires ended up being changed in comparison to female vampires but i’ll swiftly move on because that’s a whole other thing alone. Heidi was changed out of pity. (Which kinda infuriates me just to type, a pity change? Really? Really Hilda? we’ll see why it annoys me when i explain my take on Heidi.) Heidi was happy in her coven with Hilda, Victoria etc, which is hell yes. We love that. This is around the time she discovered her gift. Vampires were attracted to her and humans fell prey to her easily. Yup okay. I’ll take that. After a newborn vampire caused ‘too much attention’ Aro spared Heidi and Chelsea used her gift on Heidi. Nice, very nice aaaaand that’s where it stops and im left hanging.  Personality time with Smeyer! Lets goooo.  From what i remember and can find- she didn’t fucking have one. Apparently being pretty is enough for everyone.  Which in hindsight, fair enough on a human Bella’s perspective, its literally Heidi’s gift to lure you in no matter what. She could tell you she’s a serial killer (and technically is lmao) and is about to sell your kidneys on the black market as to which you’ll be like ‘sign me the fuck up, want my liver too? Here, let me lie on the table for you. I’m down.’ without even realising what just happened. But even beyond that...Heidi has no personality traits mentioned. In New Moon she appears to be a little flirty which im all for, why the hell not? But...thats it? Thats all I get? Then we get into fanfictions, because i read them growing up. Heidi was depicted as flirtatious, promiscuous and then it varied between manipulative or she wasnt very smart. Which i’m knocking absolutely no one for. I think you can get a badass character who is incredibly dumb. I think all characters are actually valid whether they’re a genius or flat out dumb. I love them all. However it never really sat with me. I was never quite satisfied which i was fine with until i started writing for myself. That’s when i knew i’d have to really think about what my version of Heidi would be or i’d never be happy with my work. That and you also begin to fill in the blanks? The more you write the more you flesh out a character for yourself and so that rolls into my version of Heidi! So for my Heidi, she often gets the same trope of ‘she’s pretty and rich, those types of girls have easy lives who always had everything given to them.’ Then when it’s discovered she didn’t have a good human life. It turns to the next assumption of ‘oh she’s pretty and stupid enough to be used and manipulated’. In a lot of ways, that’s what Heidi wants everyone to think. Underestimate her, please, its all the easier to manipulate you if you do.  She’s actually very smart and her rough human life made her more tough and intelligent. She’s very manipulative and yes she’s very flirty. You can look but you cant touch! She enjoys the attention her beauty gets her but if only these people would care more about what she’s like as a person. She’s not a barbie doll she will play you if she needs to. The only one who’s actually gotten far enough to sleep with Heidi is Demetri and even then the two don’t see each other romantically. They’re good friends who thinks the other is very attractive but that's where it ends. They’re basically friends with benefits some times lmao. However, Demetri got that far because he see’s the intellect Heidi actually has and acknowledges it. He thinks shes a queen who should be treated as such. She could take anything she wanted, a storm that people can only hope to survive in one piece.  Secretly she enjoys a family setting. Whilst she never really wanted children (especially when she was expected to when human), she couldn't help but melt inside seeing little human children with their loving parents. She wants that for all children. Whether that's because she lacked such affection growing up, no one knows. She’s also a really good friend, you bet she’ll have your back. Crappy ex? Well we’ll show them, wont we (Y/N)? She’ll be a bitch and enjoy every second of it. She also loves the single life, believe it or not, you’ll have more difficulty getting Heidi to settle down than you would Demetri which speaks volumes.  So yeah, move past her gift and really get to know her and you might have a very good friend.  I also don’t see Heidi having a preference between male or females and that’s in all honesty. Times have changed and if she is attracted to another female then she wont be ashamed of it. She never has been (Demetri was the first to figure that out, Felix may be the last.) Even when the times weren’t approving of different sexualities, she didn't care. She will flirt with you and find it ridiculously cute if you get flustered.

Sulpicia: Sulpicia was an orphan which i used to develop my own version of her. Sulpicia grew to love Aro which im on the fence about but yup, i’ll take it. You’ll see what happens with my version in a bit lmao. and that’s where it stops. I get no personality again but do you know what we do in this fandom? We create one and fill in the blanks baby! So i write Sulpicia very materialistic and vain, she’s most snobbish of the wives and due to the other two, also considered the meaner one. She didnt have such things as a child being an orphan so when she got the opportunity to have it-she jumped. She isnt easily impressed and married Aro not for love but for immortality, money and status. (He’s only married you for your money, princess Jasmine! HE ONLY MARRIED YOU FOR YOUR MONEY! Damn it tik tok, but make it princess Aro) Which works well, because Aro doesnt necessarily love her either, he just wanted a mate so he wasnt the odd one out.He literally created her because he was like “Yup, you’ll do.” The two recognised they made a great team and image so they kinda grew to love each other? A little bit? Sure we’ll say its love...sorta. ANYWAY, It’s a highlight to Sulpicia being locked in that tower where she doesnt need to see Aro every little moment, it’s better than having a husband who she’d need to see everyday. ...Yeah my Sulpicia is something else lmao.

Athenodora:  Athenodora is one of the oldest vampires in existence which kinda has me shook but I'll take it. She met Caius when he was fleeing from the Romanians, the two travelled together until they met Aro. Whilst on their nomadic travels they seemingly became mates. That's all we know about that. As to which the Volturi coven was made. Athenodora is completely loyal to Caius as well as highly dependent on him and I think that's very realistic given her circumstances. That's where their story ends...maybe for Smeyer but not for me! 😁 So I picture Caius and Athenodora being different sides of the same coin. Athenodora really mellows Caius, she is no where near is violent and sadistic as he is but due to her unwavering loyalty and dependency, she doesn't feel inclination to go against him...also because of Chelsea and Corin but I've said that so many times in this post I think we get the point. I think she's actually more gentle and soft spoken but that being said. She is very reserved and if she were to be angered she'd very much change. She could cut you down with words alone. Caius loves it. However beyond this is someone who is very maternal. Caius would appreciate it more if the two had children but instead it has created empathy. Caius doesn't want that when he can rip their head off. She struggles a little more with the 'no second chances' and that's another reason why Caius keeps her locked away and away from it. These two love each other more than words can describe. After being through so much with someone, the love can only grow. The two would happily risk their life for the other. Caius is saddened that he could never give her the family she wanted. He knows that to this day, Athenodora tries to reign in that side of her. He's a very supportive husband who's very different around his wife. He's much more tolerant, and angry. Simply more at ease. If anything happened to Athenodora, to put it simply...there would be hell to pay.

Didyme: Married to Marcus and Aro’s biological sister. Cute, me likely, keepy going. Her gift was happiness induction. VERY ADORABLE- Dont be as menacing as your brother...please. She was born several years after Aro and was changed by Aro ten and a half years after he was turned. (Dont tease me with all this lore Smeyer, I know what you’re gonna do) Aro was deeply disappointed her gift was just to make people happy- its okay Didyme, we love you. Aro is just...Aro. Her gift made many fall in love with her and its so freaking cute i CANT- but she only felt the same feelings for Marcus. MY HEART IS SO WARMMMM. Unfortunately they were so happy together that they lost interest in anything Volturi and were ready to leave. (Uh oh.) Aro, being the sneaky fellow he is, was like “I’m really happy for y’all of course you can leave. I love you my babies. My best friend and my sisterrrrrrr, I am the captain of this SHIP.” but was actually like “wait, no, no, no, not my Marcus. D-D-Did-Didyme I NEED him.” Think Sid the Sloth from ice age in the first movie when Sid really wants the baby. So this man is like...gonna have to do it to em and murder. He killed Didyme secretly (dunno how he pulled the secret part off- like i know how he did it but how did no one hear or see anything or even suspect anything IT WAS LITERAL FRIENDLY FIRE but we love the drama so continue.) Ironically enough she was very close with Aro and the two actually did love each other, Aro is just...murderous apparently, to the extent that even his sister isnt safe. And that’s it. That’s Didyme. Which im like...alright Smeyer i see you. I like this and expanded on this with my Didyme.  i get the vibes that Didyme is the most innocent and kind of all the Volturi. Losing her meant losing the consciousness within the Volturi making them all the more ruthless because there was no one to say. “Guys, maybe lets rethink this? and quickly because i cant get Caius to put down the torch thats currently on fire.” Losing Didyme made Marcus mostly become passive and would rarely stop anything that happened. I often wonder if that provoked a lot of guilt for Marcus later on. (However thats a spoiler for something im currently writing...;) ) I also think of her as a major daydreamer and the most soft, gentle person anyone will ever meet. Like its difficult not to like her despite being in the Volturi, even the Romanians would have struggled if they met her. So in the long run...i hate nothing about Didyme, only find more and more love lmao.

Corin: So im going to be honest and tell you i have no idea what Corin would look like. I’ve got nothing and when i was younger i wasnt even sure if Corin was male or female. Like a lot of these names, i had never heard of the name ‘Corin’. I dont write for her as of yet because im still trying to figure her out. I think she’s quite quiet, she lets her gift do most of the work for her in keeping the wives, Chelsea and Caius when he doesnt get to go on a rampage, content. She was brought in also after Didyme died but Marcus refused her gift.That’s all i’ve got for her. Her gift is amazing, pretty underrated in my personal opinion since like Chelsea, she really helps keep the Volturi unified but other than that, I dont have much to say about her. :(

Afton:  Another character i basically filled the blanks in for myself. So what we’re told is that he’s Chelsea’s mate and has the ability to disappear . Whilst thats a pretty cool trick...the volturi dont necessarily need it but they have to keep Chelsea happy and she demands that Afton stays so welcome to the family Afton! I also recently learned that if you hide behind Afton and he goes invisible infront of an opponent, you too will also be invisible. I figure that is until the opponent moves and basically changes their perspective but i could be wrong with that last part. That’s all we get so time for my unnecessary input!  SO AFTON IS A TOTAL SWEETHEART. He’s very shy but polite. This is a complete opposite to his mate Chelsea. It’s actually what she liked about him. At first is was just be flirtatious to the shy vampire but when she actually got to know him... she fell hard. It was also Chelsea who had made the first move since Afton was so shy. Of course she’d never say so and Afton would never want to embarrass her so that was never really disclosed to anyone who wasn’t around at that time. She brings Afton out of his shell a lot and it wasn’t long before the two were mates. Chelsea is the light of his life. Hands down. He puts up with a lot for her and is happy to do so. She could ask anything of him and he’d do it and she doesn’t even need to use her gift. He buys are anything she wants almost instantly. He cant help but adore her passionate personality, like how hooked she can get on era’s such as the 1920′s, her love for jazz music and her ability to gush on and on about anything. The two had what the other lacked and that made them an excellent team. I love their relationship. I cant help it. However, as i said before Afton is very shy and tends to keep to himself. Sadly that, paired with Chelsea’s demand to keep him in the Volturi has left Afton a little bit outcasted. All the other permanent guards were wanted and considered important whilst Afton...not so much. Although that isn’t to say the other guards are mean to him or anything. They aren’t! (Except the twins who are...the twins.) Felix and Demetri tried to include him a lot but it was very difficult to break him out of his shell. That doesn’t mean to say they wont invite Afton when he’s around. Chelsea always appreciates their efforts. Afton is notably good friends with Santiago, who often preferred solitude as well. 

(Guard to the left is who I imagine Afton is)

Chelsea: So supposedly Chelsea’s original name is Charmion? When i was younger i didnt really care much about her. I only really knew her gift and that she was the reason Afton was kept in the Volturi, since they were mates. From what im aware Chelsea basically wasnt in the movies/not identified. There wasnt much said about her in the books either. So since then i’ve kind of developed my own persona of Chelsea that could be completely inaccurate to canon but canon was my foundations with characters like these. She was always a red head in my eyes with ringlets, a copper kind of red head. I also pictured her to be small. However the newest addition to her character would have to be the mid-Atlantic accent. I blame Poppy Hill for this one. That character screamed Chelsea to me. She was very close to how i imagine Chelsea to be. So now Chelsea has an accent that i have no clue how she managed to maintain being in Italy so long and being born in Greece. LMAO. We’ll say she was very attached to that time. However, I think the time she joined the Volturi was actually very good for the story. She first came around just after Marcus had lost Didyme and Aro had her use her ability to keep Marcus in the coven. it’s really cool how she could really make or break the coven. Although, Aro was smart enough to not fully rely on her, using Corin’s ability on Chelsea to make sure she’d be happy and stay within the Volturi. Thats where the information on Chelsea really ends Over the years Chelsea has appeared in my writing and so beyond this point, Chelsea’s character is only my depiction.  I figure Chelsea is a talker, like she can talk her way in and out of situations with ease. She enjoys being manipulated and even more so, being needed.Much like her gift, she gets under people’s skin- not in terms that she’s annoying but more so she can figure out people very well. Her mate is the complete opposite and so she often speaks on the behalf of them. Chelsea is very social and charismatic. She along with Heidi are the only two Volturi members who will be out and interacting with humans if necessary. Heidi for her ability but Chelsea purely for her social skills. She’s also the most interested in human culture. She loves the parties- the 1920′s being her favourite era in terms of fashion. She has no issue changing her name and has done so multiple times when the names run out of fashion.It’s like playing dress up! I’d actually love to write more about her. I’ve really grown to love her character, even if i filled in some blanks for myself. I think she and Afton’s relationship is one of the best, up there with Carlisle and Esme- despite the two being very different. It’s a part of their dynamic!

(I always imagined Chelsea to be a red head but Poppy Hill from THOHH is a very close depiction to Chelsea in my eyes)

Renata: A stressed little bean that lives on stress. I remember thinking when i was younger she was the big threat since she was Aro’s shield but now that im older i see...a stressed little five foot bean. I have no idea what she looks like but always imagine her dark hair tied in a tight bun, looking almost painful. Another who wears heels, like Heidi but she is very rigid just as she has been described. Her uncle is a bit of an ass considering he begged her to go with the Volturi so there wouldn’t be a threat. Dude, can you not just...hand over your niece? At least hesitate! Just like that, thanks to Chelsea, she’d give her life to protect Aro and...I have nothing else. Yes it does drive me mad that there are two named guards i know next to nothing about.

Santiago:So what’s known about Santiago is that he doesn’t actually have an ability. He’s just very good at battle techniques and fighting which is why he’s kept around. If they need fighters, they’re top three are Felix, Demetri and Santiago...in that order. Santiago is also much faster than a regular vampire (as shown in breaking dawn part 2- he caught up to Jacob and Renesmee quite fast despite the two having a running start and wolves supposedly being very fast- much like a vampire) That’s all we know of him so then i got in there and this is how I write Santiago. I gave him the background of coming from a superstitious family. Like he would be told tales of demons and witches growing up as well as things like voodoo. He knew an awful lot of urban legends and whilst he stopped believing in the bad luck his family taught him, he still held interest and couldn’t help the instinct of unease when witnessing such things as rituals. It’s ironic really. However Santiago always deems that humans have it all wrong. These forces are beyond human understanding and shouldn’t be played with. In that way, perhaps Santiago still has some belief in things such as superstition. He’s very secretive about it and would never clarify it for you. Santiago keeps to himself and can be quite standoffish. He can also be blunt even if it’s insulting- he doesn’t tend to care. Although he and Afton became quite good friends since the Afton was an outcast and Santiago didn’t enjoy large groups, or most people in general.

[strangerfictions]

Fight Part II

Prompts: “don’t give me space. That’s the last thing I want from you”, “I know I shouldn’t be here”, “What’s this between us?” - Pinterest

Summary: Billy told you something that you didn’t expect while you were suffering from concussion, so you ignored it until Billy started to ignore you. With the help of Robin and Max you realize you have something to tell him too, so you make the decision to talk to him and see where things go.

Warnings: A lot of angst and a bit of fighting maybe?

Words: 2194

Read Part One Here!

A/N: Okay so I have been working on this for a few weeks now. It has taken me so long thanks to both college and the fact that I had to restart it about five times because it didn’t flow well or just didn’t feel right. This is the first time I have done a part two of a fic I have written, and I am super happy with how it turned out. This has now been sitting in my rafts for well over a week and I have been meaning to post it! Hope you all enjoy! Feedback is greatly appreciated!

Edit: I had to repost this thanks to tumblr acting a bit weird but hopefully thi time it works out a little better!

It had been a week since the fight and things between you and Billy couldn’t be any more awkward. Billy still brought you to and from school but there was never much of a conversation. The night of the party was a little blurry for you thanks to the concussion, but you could remember everything he had said to you. You still couldn’t take it in, but you wanted to move on, but Billy was making that difficult for you.

It was a fresh week and you hoped that meant Billy would be back to himself. Like clockwork you hear his car come to life and you run downstairs shouting a goodbye to your parents. Before you even get into the car you can already tell Billy is still being awkward. He is sat bolt upright and refusing to even acknowledge you coming out of your house. You were sick of this and you were determined to say something.

When you get into the car you notice his black eye and split lip. You couldn’t help but wince knowing the exact pain he was in.

“Hey” Billy just nods driving down your street.

“Really? You are still being weird with me? Why are you so damn stubborn? It’s like you are going out of your way to make me feel like its all my fault when you were the one to confess to me!” You raise your voice slightly not meaning to, but you can tell from the look on Billy’s face that it has an effect.

“Fuck seriously Y/N? You know how hard this has been on me? First you beat up my fri3nds and then this shit. It takes two to have a conversation and last time I checked you didn’t put much effort in either!” You recoiled back into the seat a little as Billy begins to shout at you. You can feel your eyes begin to sting and so you turn and look out the window watching Hawkins pass by you in a blur.

“Maybe if your friends weren’t such dicks Billy, I wouldn’t have to get into a fight with them. They aren’t the ones who patch you up after every damn fight you get in are, they? They are all the type to peak in high school Billy and it looks like you’re going to be the same” Your voice cracks and luckily Billy pulls up outside school and you quickly get out before he can say anything else.

You walk towards the doors pulling them open as you hear Billy shouting after you. You run down the hall passing Steve and Robin who try to catch your attention before you go into the bathroom. You enter a cubicle and try to calm yourself down. You hear the bathroom door open and shut and the tap of shoes across the tiles.

“Y/N? You okay?” Robin calls out through the bathroom. You reach out and unlock the door pulling it towards you and leaving the cubicle.

“Yeah I’m fine. I had another fight with Billy and I just needed to calm down a little sorry.” You walk over to the sink splashing cold water on your face as Robin sits up on the counter beside.

“Again? I blame the sexual tension between you two!”

“Robin!” You were surprised she would even say such a thing.

“What? I always felt there was a little tension between you two and then I saw how he acted after the fight and I knew there was something going on there!” You nod knowing you had to tell her what he said to you. You check that all of the stalls are empty before saying anything.

“Well that night when he brought me home, he told me he liked me, and he has been really off with me and that’s what we fought about today. I brought it up and he got a little angry and so did I and we both said things we regret. As per usual…” You sit up beside Robin who has a massive smile plastered on her face.

“Wow I knew it. This is pretty big Y/N! Please tell me you told him you like him back because if you didn’t, I understand why he isn’t talking to you!” You wince at what she says remembering the night.

“I was concussed I didn’t know what I was saying!” You try to defend yourself, but you know Robin is right.

“Shit you’re right…I hate that you’re right. Can you ask Steve if he can give me a lift home?”

“I know I’m right I wouldn’t say it with full confidence if I didn’t know I was right! Yes, he will give you a lift he has no choice!” The bell rings and Robin pulls you towards your first class.

All day you have done your best to avoid Billy. You knew you couldn’t face him after everything you said. You knew what you said was wrong and would effect Billy because he already thought it was true. By last period you were ready to get home and collapse into bed and sleep for the rest of eternity, but you knew you had to apologise to Billy. Mo matter what it took.

By the time you got home both Steve and Robin had hyped you up to tell Billy that you do in fact like him a lot and that you regret everything you said. You wouldn’t blame him if he hated you for everything you said but a small part of you hoped things would work out. As you walk into your house you are hit with smell of cookies. It almost as if your mom knew you were having a bad day.

“Something smells good” You say as you push the door open to find the entirety of the Hargrove family sitting at your dinning table.

“Y/N! I invited the Hargrove’s over for dinner. I was a little surprised that you hadn’t come home with Billy” You put on a fake smile hoping it will conceal everything going on.

“Oh yeah…I had to stay behind and do some work with Robin for an English report so Steve said he would drop us both home. Actually, mom I’m not feeling to great I think I’ll pass on dinner I’m going to go and do my homework” Your mom doesn’t question anything and allows you up to your room.

You get changed into comfy clothes and get started on your homework. A little while later you hear a light knock on your door. You turn around to find Max standing at your door with a plate full of cookies.

“Hey kiddo!”

“Hey…I guessed you might be a little hungry since your not actually sick” Max sits down on your bed handing you the plate of cookies.

“How did you know?” You ask taking a big bite out of the still warm cookies.

“Billy’s guilty face” You smile knowing the exact face she is talking about.

“Funny this time it isn’t just his fault. I messed up…said a few things I shouldn’t have and now I need to apologise and tell him something pretty big” You sigh savouring the taste of the cookie before swallowing.

“That you like him?” You snap your head towards Max who has a big smile on her face.

“God first Robin now you…I swear you two are literally sisters separated at birth. How did you know?”

“Intuition and the weird tension between you. It’s very obvious…even my mom has noticed it” Max grabs a cookie and takes a huge bite out of it

“Shit…I…I’m kind of surprised by that actually. I guess I should bite the built all things considering. It’s not like I have much left to lose.” You finish your cookie and grab another one.

“Exactly! I better see you getting in his damn car tomorrow morning and him smiling because I’m sick of him being in this crap mood!” You nod knowing what you have to do now.

After awhile they all leave and its just you and your parents at home. You lay on your bed and think about what to do and how to tell Billy. You can hear the lull of the TV from downstairs as you take  in the noises around you. You hear the rain hit your window as you watch as it drips down hitting the frame.

Your parents go to bed early and you decide there is no time like the present. You get u and pull on a hoodie and some shoes. Thankfully you are on the ground floor so you can jump out of your window easily. You run across the road to Billy’s house. The rain getting heavier the nearer you get to the front of his house. You quietly walk around the side to his window. As you approach you can see his light is still on and as you get closer you can hear he is listening to Def Leppard. You stop outside his window and knock lightly catching his attention straight away. He looks up from whatever he is reading. You can see him visibly sigh as he gets up to open his window. You watch as he walks towards you. You cant help but feel the nerves build in the pit of your stomach. In one swift push Billy’s window is open.

“What do you want?” Billy whispers as you play with the sleeve of your hoodie.

“I know I shouldn’t be here, but can we talk please?” You ask quietly hoping not to wake his family.

“Why? So, you can insult me again? Don’t think so Y/N” Billy goes to close the window, but you place both of your hands on the windowsill.

“I’m sorry okay! I didn’t mean any of it and it was cruel of me to say those things because I know that’s the opinion you have of yourself. It was such a shit thing for me to do and I regret it so much because I might lose you and I really cant imagine life without you. I’m sorry about fighting with your friends, I’m sorry for making you look after me, I’m sorry for not telling you I love you and I’m sorry for being such a shit person sometimes” The rain is even heavier now as you continue to confess everything to Billy.

“Shut up and get in here” Billy holds out his hand helping you into his bedroom. As soon as you are in his room, he drops your hand and walk towards his bed throwing himself onto it.

“Thanks” You mumble shifting from one foot to the other starting to feel uncomfortable.

“So, you love me?” You look up from fiddling with your fingers to find Billy smirking at you.

“Uhmm…yeah I did say that didn’t I” You begin to pick at the skin on your finger as Billy stands up from his bed.

“And do you mean it?” Billy asks as he stops in front of you. You take a deep breath in before answering.

“I mean it, but I don’t want to make things weird between us” You say quietly

“I think it’s too late for that princess” You both laugh as Billy tucks a strand of hair behind you ear.

“So, what is this between us?” Billy takes you’re hand and leads you to edge of the bed sitting down together.

“I don’t know Billy whatever it is I don’t want to get hurt” You say holding his hand in yours.

“You know I’m not like” He was right you knew he wasn’t what the rumours made him out to be.

“But if you need space, I’m willing to give you it.” You hear Billy’s voice crack a little causing you to look up to find him looking away from you.

“Don’t give me space. That’s the last thing I want from you Billy!” You place your hand on Billy’s chin and tilt his head towards you. You can see the thoughts racing through his head as he begins to process everything. You are unsure on where you go form here but you hope it will involve talking to each other again.

“If you need space I…” Without thinking Billy leans forward and kisses you. You’re caught off guard and so when Billy realises you aren’t kissing back, he begins to pull away. You wrap a hand around the back of his neck and pull him back towards you, lips smashing together. The passion between you two fills the room and the tension lifts as the kiss continues. Billy is the first to pull away to catch him breath. You struggle to open your eyes after the sheer bliss you had experienced from the kiss.

“I don’t want space either…I guess we should go about this the proper way so Y/N will you go on a date with me?” You can’t help but smile at Billy’s attempt at doing things traditionally.

“Sure” Billy pulls you in for a hug as Def Leppard continues to play in the background. And just like that everything is back to being normal.

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[sparkie96]

How do you feel about an AU Chreon, Leon's 9 months pregnant and has been kidnapped, And Chris comes to save him but he going into labor... and their B.O.W's (I got the idea from some movie I've seen about a deaf girl and her mom going into labor in the bathroom... I can't remember the name of it, but it's good) Sorry this is so long, I hope you enjoy it :)

(Yeah, I’m not really good at that kind of stuff and that movie made me a bit uncomfortable so...

I have a preview of an upcoming fic if that makes up for it?)

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

And yet, here he was, in a hospital room with a peeved and annoyed Omega. The peace was over and the old Leon was back, glaring at Chris as he held their son, feeding the baby. He couldn’t read Leon as easily as he could before, the Omega’s body language a bit more difficult to decipher than before. Leon’s eyes were obviously angry, but at the same time, it looked like the scowl he always wore. 

The doctors and nurses fluttered in and out of the room, checking on Leon and the baby, offering to fetch Leon food and running tests just to make sure both the mother and child were in perfect health. They acknowledged Chris as well, of course, asking if he needed anything and how he felt about being a new father. 

“You two must be so happy!” One of the nurses gushed, “Congratulations!” 

Leon merely hummed in reply, not looking Chris in the eye at the moment and instead focused on the little television at the foot of the bed, watching whatever it was that they had put on for them. Either way, he couldn’t look Chris directly in the face without wanting to punch him in it. The nurses and doctors finally gave them privacy, congratulating them once more before closing the door behind them, going out to tend to the other patients.

It was quiet, neither speaking to the other. Chris cleared his throat, trying to get Leon’s attention, but the Omega deliberately ignored him. Ollie cooed as he fed from his mother, Leon gently pulling him off to burp him. Chris watched intently, making sure Leon didn’t try anything that would end up hurting the little baby. Or maybe he was watching out of his own paranoia, to make sure Leon didn’t try to pull something that would end up hurting Chris. 

“So…” Chris began, “Ollie is absolutely perfect.” 

Leon raised his brows for a moment, but said nothing in reply, rocking the baby in his arms slowly. His attention was focused solely on the little one, pretending Chris wasn’t right there in his space. He was afraid he might do something he might regret if he looked up at the elder.

Chris sighed, “You’re mad at me.” 

“You think?” Leon asked with a dark chuckle, “Boy, I can’t imagine why!” 

“Hey! You can’t be mad at me! I wasn’t the one who assisted an international terrorist!” Chris hissed. 

“She was a key fucking witness, you Fuckwit!” Leon argued, “You let the actual terrorist walk free and then had me fucking facilitated! And then, you fucking took me to your home and fucking took advantage of me!"  

“One: Ada has been involved with numerous terrorist organizations and worked with the likes of Wesker and Neo-Umbrella. You could have apprehended her at any time, but each time you let her walk after you two exchanged goo-goo eyes and played Patty-Cake! Two: Simmons is clean, we found nothing. Three: You had yourself facilitated! That was on you!” Chris hollered, the commotion disturbing Ollie’s nap and making the baby cry loudly, "And I took you home because no one else would-!"

Before they could go any further, another nurse came back with Leon’s lunch, both Chris and Leon freezing and looking at the nurse. The man apologized for interrupting them, asking if everything was alright in here. Cold blue orbs met equally cold brown briefly, exchanging angry looks as Chris gave a nod, and a faux smile, telling the nurse that everything was just peachy. They were just having a conversation...a very loud conversation and had accidentally woken the baby from his nap. 

The nurse beamed, setting the tray of food down on the little side table next to Leon’s hospital bed. Leon gave his own faux smile, noticing the nurse examining him. The man canted his head, asking Chris if Leon was one of those facility Omegas. He recalled Chris mentioning it prior to the baby’s birth, saying that Leon was one and had been prepared for these kinds of things. 

“Oh...yeah. He is.” Chris confirmed, “Why? Is there something wrong?” 

The nurse looked to Leon again, the Omega clearly confused and annoyed, “I don’t know...but aren’t those types of Omegas supposed to be...happy and sunshine and rainbows twenty-four-seven? Leon seems a bit more...doom and gloom. During the birth, he seemed a tad...feral.” The nurse explained. 

Chris scoffed, “What? No! He was in pain! Of course he seemed feral! Birth isn’t exactly a ticklish process! He’ll be fine once I get him back home! Right, Leon?” 

Leon looked between the nurse and Chris, giving an even bigger smile and a nod, looking more unhinged than friendly, “Absolutely! I am absolutely ecstatic about the birth of our precious baby boy! I cannot wait to go back to my Omega duties and care for my mate and child!” 

The nurse raised a brow, a bit disturbed at the unnatural smile Leon wore and the overly happy and kind of robotic tone that Leon spoke with. He merely shook his head, mentally saying that maybe he was just a bit too tired due to the long shift. He apologized for his prodding and congratulated them on the birth of their child before excusing himself from their hospital room. 

Chris gave Leon a look, “Yeah...I think that was definitely convincing. Not at all suspicious…” he said sarcastically. 

“Oh, fuck off.” Leon said with a sigh, digging into his lunch. 

________________________________________________________________

Leon and Ollie were kept overnight, Chris not leaving their side for even a second. Leon asked exactly what had happened between now and China, saying that his memory had been really fuzzy after China. He could only minimally remember the facility, up until a certain point. And then it was nothing but painful white noise, drawing a blank.

Chris held Ollie as he contemplated telling Leon the truth. He then told him what had happened without going too in depth with the details, saying that Ada Wong and Neo-Umbrella had been disposed of, Ada having been killed by suits in a helicopter and the facilities in the gulf had been taken care of. Piers had been lost in the process...thanks to Ada's pet project, but they had been in the process of looking for him, saying that it was possible that he could still be alive. Or at least locate a body so his family could have a body to bury in New England. 

Then, there had been news that Leon had gone "feral" and due to his behavior, the courts and DSO had facilitated him. Helena had been incarcerated for assisting Leon and Ada in the attacks and agents within the DSO had been arrested as well for helping and colluding with Neo-Umbrella operatives, including Ingrid Hunnigan for assisting Helena and Leon after Tall Oaks. 

Leon listened intently, feeling sick to his stomach at the news. Christ...he failed Helena, Hunnigan, Adam, the people of Tall Oaks...and even Ada. Christ, how had Simmons gotten away with all of this? Why would Ada do this? Wasn't she above all that? 

"As for the facility bit...they had me fill out paperwork and then made me wait two to three months until you were "Fixed" and showed up at my doorstep all Stepford Housewife out." Chris explained, "What do you remember happening?" 

Leon tried to remember but grunted, holding his head in pain. He tried...he really did, but he only had small flashes of memory, the sound of a machine, a loud whining sound...bright fluorescent lights...almost like...Christ! Why the Hell did his head hurt so much? Why couldn't he remember?

"I don't know...I can't remember…" Leon admitted, "Head hurts like a bitch to try…" 

Chris hummed, "That might be due to the electro shock therapy they put you through while you were there." He explained, "You showed up with these marks on both of your temples, and Dr. Policki said that it was all part of your treatment." 

"Yeah, cause that's legal…" Leon replied sarcastically, "So...when can I go home?" 

"You and Ollie will be dismissed tomorrow morning if all the tests look good and you feel good enough to do so." Chris explained. 

"And what about you?" Leon asked, wondering if the Alpha had previously understood what Leon had been implying. 

Chris caught on, "You don't have an apartment to go back to...or a job. They ransacked the apartment and your office...you live with me now for a reason." He reminded him, "Legally, and I hate to be the one to tell you this, I own you." 

"I'm not property." Leon growled, "I should be able to come and go as I please." 

"Not anymore." Chris pointed out, "Not after all the shit you've been involved with. You were considered a threat to the public...hell, you're technically still a threat now that the hypnosis wore off. The government stripped you of everything and declared you feral." 

Leon scoffed and shook his head at Chris, asking the man if he was serious. Chris only gave him a look, saying that he was dead serious and Leon wasn't going anywhere unless he had an escort or Chris was with him. He was lucky to be allowed to go outside at all. Leon argued that he wasn't a threat...because he didn't have anything to do with the Tall Oaks incident. Yes, he shot the president, but the man had already turned by the time he did so, and he even hesitated when he did so. That it was Simmons who was behind everything. 

Chris shook his head, waving Leon off, "Leon, enough." He said sternly, "The BSAA and the DSO have their evidence that you and Agent Harper colluded with Ada Wong and caused all of this. From Edonia, to Tall Oaks." 

Leon narrowed his eyes, "What...the Hell is Edonia?" He asked, sounding genuinely confused. 

Chris sighed and shook his head again, "I don't want to talk about it. Not now." 

"Why? How can I be responsible for any of that if-?" 

"Enough!" Chris repeated, "I don't...just, for once in your life, shut up. Please." 

"No! You're accusing me of something I didn't do! I was arrested for shit I had no involvement in and now you, a man I thought I could trust, won't even let me explain myself!" Leon protested. 

"What is there left to explain?" Chris asked, "We have all the evidence. The DSO does too and you've already been convicted, done your time and now you're serving your sentence. Just stop before you make things worse for yourself." 

Leon let out an over exasperated growl of frustration, choosing to shut up and sit back in the bed. He crossed his arms and merely glared up at Chris. The Alpha gave a sigh and relaxed in his seat, looking from Ollie to the Omega, watching Leon. 

This wasn't going to be smooth sailing from here on out.

[histeetharenotsoft]

honestly i have no idea how i’m supposed to make it to ep 165

because 162 killed me, like 3 times

spoilers below the cut!

ITS GERRY!!!!!! MR KEAY I MISS YOU

but this is the first time we’ve actually Heard him, not secondhand or with spooky ghost echo, just as a normal voice on a tape. and i just want to hug him so much because ohhhh boy he has no idea what’s going to happen and also i am love him

“do i get to hear them?” “perhaps. if you live long enough.” shut up gertrude shut the fuck up don’t just mention gerry dying so casually its Rude

hmmm i might write a fic where jon, sasha and gerry are somehow all the archivist because I Can Do What I Want

ooo here we have more fire in the archives foreshadowing

did. did gerry’s chair scrape when gertrude raised her voice. like he flinched. someone hug this man

and then his voice goes all quiet when gertrude is lecturing him and Mary Keay Can Catch These Hands

“you are occasionally useful despite your foolishness” wowwww gertrude. what glowing praise. don’t just say that to his face come onnnn

but “useful” though. “useful”. i know we already know gertrude is an ‘ends justify means’ type character but goddamn if that isn’t just a perfect description of her relationships with people: categorised by their use to her plans and nothing more

“the network of sinister tunnels that snake beneath the archive” gertrude definitely knows about the tunnels lets be real. she’s just protecting jurgen leitner stupid idiot motherfucking jurgen leitner goddamn fool book collecting dust eating rat old bastard shithead idiot avatar of the whore

what i wouldn’t give for gerry to have canonically beaten up jurgen leitner more than once. that’s going in my triple archivist fic

“what happens if we fail” oh. oh no. oh no whats gertrude going to say

“i suspect death puts us beyond their power” hmmm. seems like a fair point but i feel like the end would come up with some fuckery because this universe is a bastard and doesn’t let anyone get the rest they deserve. this isn’t really important to the plot (at least I Hope Not) but the thought of eldritch fear gods being able to reach us after death... chills

“[actual death] is preferable to lingering in a world they control” oh no that’s not good for jon to hear

“they might even stop death entirely.” hmmm. HMMMMMM

“and taxes?” “taxes i imagine will continue” hell yeah jonny get his ass (’him’ being capitalism). also i know the coronavirus lockdown isnt exactly an apocalypse caused by eldritch fear gods forcing themselves through into our world, but considering the shit thats been going on? yeah i imagine taxes would continue

“could it be undone?” “no, i don’t think so” oh no. oh no jon. jon nooo. he’s just playing it over and over and god he must be feeling so guilty and helpless. he also gets a hug. and another. and then three more. then one more but it lasts for like an hour before i have to phase back into my own dimension

TIM AND SASHA i’m still not prepared to hear their voices i love they

sasha is so competent she’s incredible and i am in awe of her

hell yeah tim is drinking his respect woman juice

“jimmy magma. joany magnum? jack magnet” asjdfhakjfhakjhfk tim you’re the best

“what if we kill him” Fuck Off Jonny You Can’t Do That

SADHJA WAS GOIJNG YO QUIKT I AM SJDFHKJLASLKFDJGKSDJHF

holy fuck we got canon timsasha. also “you’re not the love interest”??? sasha was a lesbian. source: me, also a lesbian. who can Do What She Wants

“you might be the character they drop after the pilot” sasha no dont say that!!!! as the character who was dropped after the pilot (ok season not episode but still) i have determined that is Illegal. and yes i know sasha was killed off for entirely valid reasons and not just dropped but shhhh i am hurting

“i dont have anything keeping me here” oh sasha. oh you sweet summer child. i wish that was the case. i really do

oh hey sasha knew about tim’s brother? martin told tim about his CV? THE S1 ARCHIVE STAFF WERE FRIENDS AND I MISS THEM A LOT BECAUSE GODDAMMIT THE S3/4 STAFF DIDN’T FOUND-FAMILY LIKE THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO

“no such thing as the real you”? “it’s all just masks”??? jonny stop stop im already dead you dont need to kill me again

(god i fucking hate that i get the stanislavsky bit. i only did drama gcse but the exam was terrible because none of the exam board’s practice questions were even anywhere close so no one was prepared and i spent so long revising all these pointless notes on how to answer the difficult questions and i regret it So Much and any reminder of that fucking bullshit exam i had to do Fills Me With Rage

“if you get eaten alive by improperly filed statements, me and martin will avenge you... we’ll burn this place to the ground.” god i am in pain. not only do we have more archives arson foreshadowing but we also have this line that hits like a punch in the gut because they didn’t avenge sasha, did they?

“i find it highly unlikely this sasha ever even existed at all” “i’m unforgettable” shut up shut the fuck up is this allowed? IS THIS ALLOWED???? because it fucking shouldnt be. it’s murder jonny time lads!!!

is. is jon crying. oh no

and then he gets fucking posessed by the cabin?? i love how the format of the statements has changed its very interesting

The One You Love The One You Love The One You Love

jonmartin are so in love that even eldritch fear cabins can’t not see it. jonny really said “you can read their relationship as platonic... but i am going to do my goddamn best to make that hard for you” huh

and fuck, this statement. it’s so creepy and i love how we cant distinguish which entity it is, because does it even matter any more? the list of 14 was a human creation anywhere, i think the ‘different parts of a body’ metaphor l*itner used is makes more sense now. it doesn’t matter which part of the body is attacking you, it matters that you’re being attacked in the first place so figuring out which part it is isn’t really a priority any more

but i think it’s mostly stranger and spiral? i also get very vague corruption vibes from the description of the planks because “they are warmer, softer and more yielding than the timber they present”? ugghhhh. corruption has often been associated with this kind of ‘wrong’ warmth (think jon amherst) and it also brings to mind that episode where the guy nails meat all over his walls and the rot makes the statement giver’s ceiling collapse. but then there’s the lonely there too, because yes jonmartin have each other but jon says it himself: “it will not let you feel the warmth of joy this love may claim to gift”. just try tell me the concept of being unable to find happiness in love isn’t Lonely, even if it’s not entirely true

but yeah basically i love the merging of entities present in this creepy statement

“our tomb” huh. the pov changes here, it’s gone from talking about jon in second person, to talking as jon in first person. so if jon wasn’t possessed by SpOoKy CaBiN like i thought (because if he was, why would he suddenly switch like this? it doesnt make sense)... then what was making that statement? my instinct is to say it was The Archivist or rather, The Archives talking about jon but like a separate personality, which... yikes

“[this will be] my chrysalis. it is time that i emerge.” monster jon? monster jon. this line gave me chills because damnnnn i love me some good eldritch!jon

“i wanted to leave and hunt down elias” hell yeah jon go and brutal pipe murder that bastard its what you deserve

martin has packed bags already and he brought tea and i love him so muchhhhh

and jon’s smile is AUDIBLE he loves martin so much my tiny heart can’t handle it

“we got this.” “apparently so 😍 “ just tell me you can’t hear the heart eyes in jon’s voice. oh wait. you cant

LET MARTIN BURN SOMETHING ITS WHAT HE DESERVES

“we can’t fight the world, martin” “says you” afkjhasfkjhadkjghdakjghakdgf

to summarise:

get ready for me to type out the same summary for all 40 episodes because jesus fucking christ. jonny’s writing never fails to make me Feel All The Emotions at once. i give this one a spooky sentient cabin out of 10

[bigbrothernetflix-st]

EPISODE TEN

“One hour to go until I find out if people are actually keeping me, or if they're all just being assholes and wanting to blindside me.” - jev

HOH: Brianna NOMINEES: Jev & Kiki POV: Nathan FINAL NOMINEES: Jev & Kiki EVICTED: Kiki (4-0)

JEV

I feel this could be the end for me this week, considering I named Brianna as renom last week and she has nominated me previously it's not looking good for me. However, last week after naming her renom, I did send her screenshots from Nathan of him throwing her and Aria under the bus to me just incase she stayed, so I purposefully threw him under the bus for this exact reason and I'm just hoping the move will pay off and there's even a slight chance she'll nominate him and keep me off the block. I'm also hoping she'll recognise that I didn't consider her as one of my initial noms and only named her as replacement because I was put into a shitty predicament last week by Nathan and his veto win, but who knows. I'm extremely proud of the game I've played but it'd suck to leave at F7 after getting this far.

BRIANNA

https://youtu.be/z8bOEMq9gh8

ARIA

So....its been a bit huh,...sorry about that yall pls just take this anaylsis of everyone left k thanks <3

NATHAN

Looking at the whole of his game this man has been targeted since prejury yet his social connections and physical prowess has kept him safe this long- typically this would lend itself to a very strong underdog story but at the same time his attitude this game has been very rocky as he's threatened to quit or just give up multiple times before which may decrease the amount of respect the jury has for him. At this moment in time he can be categorized as a big player due to his numerous fights which could gain jury respect because it does show that he wants to play but im unsure if its enough. In terms of social connections he presents himself as having limited connections with others as he doesnt talk with kiki or jev but has a mutual understanding between him and joshua as they are both big threats/targets leading them to want to keep each other safe. This does bring up complications when trying to eliminate joshua from this game but thats for another analysis. He's constantly threatened the status quo of the house and if it wasn't for his attitude (and maybe the lack of connections to people like kiki and jev) he could be a shoe-in to win. It should also be considered that he has constant correspondence with emma and somewhat of a connections with bri. It should also be highlighted that hes very good at mending bridges considering hes working with someone he previously attempted to nominate (brianna) and had a fight with (joshua) Honestly he's playing a great game and the bitterness visible from kiki/jev does not reflect the jury- its more likely that he can beat me at the end. 

Leaving: f3/4/

Threat: Big/Physical

Winning Chance: 4/5

KIKI

So most players still left in the game perceive kiki to just be coasting along and honestly their win chances are minimal. I think their social game has been slacking as well as they're typically very hesitant to be honest with their game thoughts so they've failed to secure the connections that they need to get them to the end of this game. Their view on the game is also very confusing as they pretended to not know sides to me and no matter what the truth was it was a very bad look on their part. Also on a more personal note they showed that they're willing to snap as seen yesterday in bri's dms and in the live competition channel. In terms of this vote I have hardly any connection to them and if they won hoh next week i know that i would not be safe unlike jev who i've formed a more honest relationship with. I am slightly worried that im taking out someone with no win chance but my first priority will always be house dynamics and to appease the bb gods, they need to leave.

Leaving: f7

Threat: None, likeability

Winning chance: 1/5

JOSHUA

Literally just hand the kid the winning title and pots at this point his control over the game is incredible. He has deals and connections with EVERY single person in this game and I truly feel like he can make the end if we dont take him out here but I can't control nathan at this point. I think he's formed connections to me and nathan through all of us being "big threats" while he has connections to Jev/Emma/Kiki as they were all on the original side and he's somehow escaped the block on someones hoh who he previously put up...this guy is unstoppable wtf. However the entire game IS aware of his skill and its very likely that he gets taken out soon because of this unless he goes on a comp run. I also find it very likely that the jury is rooting for him as he remained respectful with every evictee and had justifications for every eviction beyond just house dynamics and his game has been straighforward with his noms and bold with his connections. Im unsure of how exactly to get rid of him but I believe he thinks we're close (f2 tingz) and I find it unlikely he takes me out although i think hes notices that ive been a bit more closed off this week which is worrying for future endeavors.

Leaving: f6/f5

Threat: Big/Phyiscal/Social

Winning Chance: 5/5!!!!

JEV

Out of everyone left I find it very difficult to think of how Jev is playing, I think he's either playing the most straight forward game I've ever seen or his game has a lot of hidden depths. I mean how I view his game as another player is that he came into this game very unconnected but managed to wiggle his way into stable sides and form good connections where they've kept him safe when possible. Once he gained a side he stuck to it and just played an overall loyal game minus the yelling at nathan when he lied to him. I dont think the jury is very bitter at him but I also don't believe that they're super high on him in comparison to people like joshua. In terms of our own connection I think I might be higher on his trust list due to me being very proactive about using veto on him and voting to keep him- i dont think ill be in danger if he wins hoh but nathan sure will :nicolequeen: There is a chance he can beat me at the end just due to not fucking over all of the jury but the chance we make f2 is very small, he represents the utr social player that joshua might be scared of winning 

Leaving: f6/f5

Threat: Balance/Middle

Winning Chance: 4/5

EMMA

Emma's game is very interesting because its similar to kiki in the fact that she's been coasting or just sticking to her side but she's aware of her flawed gameplay and wants to do better and make moves. However the end is closing end and I doubt she has the time to really make a move although she has been very smart about how she presents herself to others this entire game showing high sense of strategy. I think we're fairly close in a personal and game sense (unless shes just buttering me up for the slaughter as her own big move) so I would love to take her very far in this game. Im unsure of how the jury view her at this point in time but i cant imagine it being very high at this time unless shes manipulating things behind the scenes. At the end shes probably one of the only people I can beat because the jury might want a "big" player to win so she's def an ideal f2 choice at THIS time.

Leaving: f3/f2

Threat: Strategic

Winning Chance: 2/5

BRIANNA

First off I love her so much personally she's seriously the kindest person I've met and i absolutely adore her but also her game has been fairly impressive so far. Her actions have been the catalyst for sides to form and big moves being made- however i can say that I had a hand in a series of these moves but received no blowback (or recognition) for them yet and I'm unsure how the jury will view us as a duo or who can lay claim to the moves made. I think some of the jury may be bitter such as Josh c and Nick but at the same time she'll have fans such as joey and jacob so its a very mixed bad and I think we'll be trying for the same votes which is worrying. She's also fairly good at comps and socializing putting her on a similar stage as nathan and joshua although for some reason she never gets the credit :/ Im unsure whether I want her at the end or not but there is a possibility ill cut her...

Leaving: ???

Threat: Social/Comp

Winning: ???

And i think i dont stand a chance tbh, my jury management has been ass but im gonna do my best <3 also sorry if this was mean fsabhfds

JEV

So Brianna has let me know that she is more than likely going to put me up as one of her initial nominees, meaning I've had to plead my case to her and severely downplay my game thus far in the hopes that she'll hear me out and by some miracle will spare me from the block this week, I'll insert the plea I sent to her at the end of this DR. I just hope she realises that there are bigger fish to fry cough Nathan cough and maybe even Joshua, although I respect him as an ally too much to even consider throwing his name out to Brianna like that. Worst comes to worst I'll just have to gun super hard for veto and take myself down, then work out the play from there if one of the other hot girls are put up in my place, but I hope Brianna isn't dumb and recognises that there isn't a drop of loyalty inside of Nathan and that she'd be stupid to keep him around another week.

JEV

So I asked Joshua if he'd save me if he won the veto, and he straight up said he'd use it on Kiki because he'd "feel bad" since he used it on me the last time me and Kiki were on the block together. It's made me feel kinda shitty because it's kinda solidifying to me that he considers me at least 3rd in our alliance, and that he and Kiki are quite likely a duo together. I have to try my hardest for this veto because I for sure leave over Kiki or the renom.

JEV

So... there is a chance, albeit a slim chance, that Nathan may use the power of veto on me. I've tried to butter him up by playing up to his kind of wildcard playstyle by saying that nobody would see it coming and it'd be the gag to end all gags, but who knows what he might do. He said he's considering it and will keep me in the loop just so I know what to expect. If I stay on the block, I know I hopefully have Aria & Emma's votes to keep me on lock, which means I'd only have to convince Joshua or Nathan to keep me, OR sway Brianna to keep me in the event of a tie, which I think is the most unlikely of the 3. Prior to tonights veto, I would've thought I'd have Joshua's vote to stay, but now I think its clear that Kiki/Joshua are a duo and Me/Emma are a duo, so I don't think I'd be able to sway him to save me unfortunately. However the rest of this week plays out, I have a lot of ass kissing to do which I hate but hopefully I can work a miracle

JEV

So... considering Nathan has promised safety to me this week I didn't quite expect him to go off on me like that in his veto speech but... I'm just gonna take the high road and not even acknowledge the video in house chat, as much as it sucks I just have to let Kiki run their mouth so hopefully people remain inclined to keep them around over me.

JEV

One hour to go until I find out if people are actually keeping me, or if they're all just being assholes and wanting to blindside me. As it stands, it should be 4-0 since all four of them have promised me their vote, but I'm lowkey suspicious about Nathan and Joshua, there's just something in the back of my mind telling me to be wary, I hope I'm just overthinking though

HOST WEEKLY CAST ASSESSMENT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29822U0WqVk&list=PLFEwPPy8j010XXwntq80VSU0qLNTNpSIN&index=11&t=0s

[sigurdjarlson]

theres so much potential with this new race system!!  and with them talking about adding even more than the 6 talked about i’m just having fun dreaming...and thinking about what would be cool

Vrykrul

I honestly expect this to eventually be a playable race. I’d say most likely allied with the horde? They’re quite similiar to orcs culture wise. I can easily see them becoming playable. We just had all that Stormheim stuff so they’re still present in current content..i dont think its difficult to imagine the horde recruiting them when the time comes

We just helped the Valajar so they might be willing.

Yay for Vikings!

Ethereal

They’re bringing them back into the fold so it wouldn’t be a reach. They could easily have them ally themselves with one side or actually you know what I think would be more fitting? They choose a side like Pandaren? Ethereals are known for being rather self-serving. It seems like they would choose to go their own way rather than stick to one side

Naga

Naga should have been a race a long time ago in my opinion. They probably would have been if not for their models. Look, I don’t know much about ideo game creation but they should make naga a thing. The only thing is they would have to establish a friendly/neutral faction of naga. Which I don’t think is improbable or impossible. I find the idea of a species or race being 100% evil sooo boring. 

It seems like we’re getting more Azshara stuff and I don’t think it’s too far of a reach to say maybe some don’t agree with Azshara. Rebels perhaps? Who knows. There are many possibilities.

Furbolgs

Alright, yeah Furbolgs would be a bit silly but I’ve always LOVED them. They’ve been present since Classic. I could easily see one or more of the tribes swearing their allegiance to the alliance. (due to their close relationship with nelfs) Some of them are actually quite intelligent so honestly I don’t think it would be too much of a reach. 

The alliance needs more beast races..

The Broken / Krokul

Look, we should have been able to play The Broken a long time ago when we were given Draenei. They are Draenei or..were? I don’t know if they still consider themselves as such. With this new sub-race sort of system we’re getting I think this would be a good idea. They’ve got so much interesting history and with them being brought back into the light with Argussian Reach on Argus..it could be a starting point.

We are cleaning up Argus so perhaps we end up taking in refuges or some start coming to Azeroth now that they’re free. I mean since they’re draenei based it would make since for them to be allied to the alliance but who knows.

Ogres

If i remember correctly they did want to add ogres once. Honestly I have little interest in rolling one but I think it’d be a good choice for the horde. Some of them are relatively intelligent and not all of them are hostile. There are so many different factions they could come from a lot of different places.

Sporelings 

This is pretty much an instant “No.” but I think they’re adorable. I loved getting to Exalted with them back in BC. As for how it could be implemented if somehow they did decide to do it.

Well Outland still exists. We most likely still have forces there (on both sides) so when it comes to all out war between the alliance and horde I don’t think it’s too much of a reach to say that both sides will be looking for allies wherever they can get them and that includes reaching out to factions and races we might not have interacted with for a long time.

Sporelings are pretty much a no for many reasons but for the record that’s kind of my stance on old races coming back into the fold in general. Just write them in well and it works.

Arakkoa 

This is a long time coming okay. I LOVE Arakkoa. There are friendly Arrakoa populations on both Outland and alternate-Draenor and I could see them allying themselves with one of the factions.

Tuskarr

This is a bit of a silly one I guess but I loved the Tuskarr. Maybe we go to Northrend looking for allies and one side gets them? Maybe they seek us out for some reason. Who knows.

Frenzyheart

They’re not very intelligent, there’s not much out there about them beyond getting to Exalted with their faction but I think they’re pretty neat.

Wolvar

^^^ Same as Frenzyheart (although they might not ally themselves with either side after all those players stealing their children for daily quests ;)

Oracles

More intelligent than their sworn enemy the Frenzyheart but there’s a lack of lore for them, their models make it unlikely, overall both are probably outright no’s. 

Jinyu 

YES YES YES. I love Jinyu. I don’t think this would be a stretch at all especially since Jinyu are already allied to the alliance (and Hozen with the horde). The Alliance calls on their allies in Pandaria for aid? I could see it.

Ramkahen

Their models kind of make them an automatic no because blizz is lazy but come on who wouldn’t want to play as a cat centaur creature. Also intelligent and have an established culture. 

Wildhammer Dwarves

With the inclusion of Dark Iron Dwarves this wouldn’t be too much of a stretch i think. 

High Elves

They’re so close to blood elves but since we’re doing this allied race thing it could be a thing

Half-race

no pics

Nuff said. I’m also curious which races can interbreed. You know what would be really interesting. Half Alliance Race/Half Horde Race characters (a half human half orc for example) that like Pandaren have to choose a side OR can remain neutral perhaps?

Klaxxi

They kind of hate anyone but they’re pretty 

Hozen

Their models make it unlikely but it would make since if they added Jinyu. Jinyu for alliance, Hozen Ifor Horde just like in MoP

Saberon

CAT PEOPLE. Nuff said. Some of them are relatively intelligent. Might even be an interesting contrast to worgen.(maybe give them to the horde)

please...blizzard I want cat people

Centaur

Unlikely for many reasons

oh good lord would they need a new model. look at dem classic graphics

Dark Elves

There’s not much known about them and some people say they were what night elves were referred to in the very beginning of the game’s creation. But I’m always a slut for elves. It’s always possible to make new lore

Dragons/Dragonkin/Dragonspawn/Drakenoids/etc

Unlikely but god do I want to be a dragon (might make since if they can have a humanoid form)

Gnolls

They’re not really...intelligent enough to be a playable race I think?

Murlocs (lrdhlfdh)

Oddly enough could be possible (disregarding models) since some of them hav human level intelligence

Demonic Races like the Mo’arg

I mean it would be cool but demons are pretty...you know, demonic. However black and white morality is never fun. Demons that have become disillusioned with the Legion? Demons who were forced into it? Could there be “good” demons or demons who are willing to ally themselves with mortals to help themselves somehow at least? I think so

Kobolds

You take my candle for the LAST TIME

Nerubian

Bug people races seem unlikely but they’re certainly intelligent enough, have enough lore to justify putting them 

Quillboar 

I mean..why not

Satyr 

THIS WOULD BE COOL. Although ^ like demonic races they would have to display that there are indeed Satyr that are not completely evil

Dryads

Dryads are fucking adorable and have been present forever. 

Saurok

NASTY TRASH LIZARDS. Unlikely due to a lack of intelligence and general shittiness but I love them

Taunka

another kind of Tauren so I think it’s possible

Yaungol 

^^^^^ see Taunka

Blackrock Orcs

we have dark iron dwarves so why cant they have blackrock orcs

Mag’har

This one has been a long time coming I think

Vulpera

Who wouldn’t want to be a fox person?

those snake people in the trailer

SNEEPLE. I just really want more beat races okay. I think the alliance in particular has a lack of beast races. Snake people would probably go with the horde tho

those plant people

I just think they’re neat

[skyquack-blog]

I am in such a bad mood you guy's A survivor story WiLL FolloW Legit this is a story of triumph and survival... Please read this. If i ever post anything important THIS is it so please for me read this!! This is my story and its pretty amazing. :'( Here i want all ya'll judging me right now to read this and think about it for a moment okay... This is what i wish would happen to you ass holes who cant keep you fucking opnions and scruteny to yourself... Okay!! Go back in time and be essentially a "shut in" with no actual friends to hang out with or talk to mostly because your suffering from certin aspects of schizophrenia that you as well as your family arent aware of... so here we are living under a rock way more quiet than the average human being dealing with weird ass issues like hearing voices and feeling like people can hear your thoughts and feel your emptional states so as a result you shut up and keep to yourself all the time... Then for the first time ever since ever you move to town and get yourself a friend who is mind you border line psychotic but she likes you and shes fun... now 6 months of this and suddenly BOOM your pregnant at 17... your baby daddy dont wanna hang around dont seem to give a fuck bout you even tho he does ect... Spend the next 2 years of your life fighting hard core yelling matches breaking things in a desperate ploy to get your baby daddy to fucking come home... Fight like this hard every day damn near for 2 fucking years b4 you finally give up... Then at 20 i want you to be the single mom of 2 children work every day pay all your own bills take care of and try to raise 2 kids all the while looking back on your bad relationship trying to find a new better more loving and equal partner ship (as a parent so young mind you your only 20)... and now here is for the fun part... Your 22 years old now and you found your self a psychopath... yup full on crazy ass mother fucking manipulative beyond your wildest understanding of manipulation im talking weird mk ultra shit going on and you fall head over heels in love... Great things are stupid as fuck by now but hey your in love who care right??? Well they get even dumber for some unknown reason to you still to this day your kids dad and his family decide to rip your 3 year olkd son away from you and your in a state of total SHOCK and cant seem to even think............ Cant even think........... Your still in shock....... Your son is gone. SEVERAL MONTHS PASS B4 your even allowed to talk to him........ your 3 year old son.... its just you the baby and the psychopath and daily texts from your BFF..... You finally push loosing physical custody and not being abel to have ANY contact with your son of which YOU HAVE COMPLETLY TAKEN CARE OF AND RAISED BY YOUR FUCKING SLEF so deep down insode of you it hurts even to simply think about him but now you get to visit CAUTIOUSLY btw.... Are we done yet??? NOPE!!! Alrigh well now your 23 god damn years old you survived a horrible relationship screaming and fighting, having your 3 year old son ripped away from you DATING A PSYCHOPATH (which has its own uneik set of fucking issues btw like rejection on a constant basis as well as being manipulated into self destruction yourself as well as your life without knowing your doing it) Dating a psychopath.... LOOK IT UP and suddenly out of no fucking ware you go through one of THE MOST INTENSE ONSETS OF SCHIZOPHRENIA most people and doctors could imagine happening to somebody... I mean normally people notice little symptoms like hearing voices and shit... Its already a rare brain disorder but its even less frequent for somebody to go through a full blown psychosis... Thats you... That 1 in 1million out of a billion going through a psychosis RAISING 2 CHILDREN IN LOVE WITH A PSYCHOPATH MENDING A BROKEN RELATIONSHIP WITH THERE CONTROLLING ANGRY FATHER ECT... EVERYONE THINKS YOUR HIGH ON DRUGS AND YOUR NOT.... Also not only are you experiencing this intense onset but your BFF ditches you cuz shes a huge attention whore bitch and suddenly you actually need her to be there ONLY for you and she just cant have that in her life so now your alone in the world... AGAIN!! For several years actually... You spend years recovering yourself your personality your ability to properly communicat eand associate or identify with yourself and the world around you because yeah the onset was that bad... Your relearnign and TEACHING YOURSELF how to human agin (nobody knows nobody gives a fuck) it was bad people... really really bad!!! Okay cool you think you have been through enough so quickly right i mean like within a 3 or 4 year time span you've encountered the worst of the worst for the most part loosing your son giving up week days with you daughter DATING A PSYCHOPATH that stupid relationship that was hugely stressful Did i mention that you were working full time paying all yo bills on yo own taking care of yo kiddow by yourself living essentially completly isolated at least 20 minutes to half an hour away from EVERYBODY you know you indapendent as fuck b4 this onset... SOBER dont even drink!! Your good to go... like good to fucking go... But no during this onset you loose your JOB ($10 an hour mind you that you were bad ass at and loved and ready to retire from) you loose your car you loose your house (for the better part of owning a home you cant live in it anymore) you LOOSE YOUR GOD DAMN MIND LITERALLY its gone schizo psychosis took it from you and held you captive no joke... your insane... considering your an adult now and not a child and your less susceptable to things you should be done by now right... NOPE so your by this point LONELY as fuck and kind of clueless cuz why has life been so hard for me man like i didnt intentionally fuck shit up for myself you know... i really honestly didnt... and you have a new outlook on things which is kind of really uneik considering how things have gone for you, your boundaries thanks to the schizo are all fucked up and off but you have managed to like regain certin aspects of your personality enough to feel strong and confident and your head on going itno life full force with hope and determination you got a year and a half of university under your belt ect... your not done... Your addicted to meth right now... yup whole heartedly consuming the shit out of one of the worst drugs IN THE WORLD right now... You know your addicted (your 26 btw) and your doing your absoulte best to quit (have i mentioned thanks to the schizo you pretty much went a year without physical custody of your other kiddo just so you could actually manage that year and a half in college which killed you every singel day to be away from her so that was hard) well even though your really trying to stop like really trying so hard you call 911 one night and ask an officer for help... okay cool your like a fucking METH ADDICT HERO by all tweeker standards lolz Well you go to some friends for help and instead of keeping it in the family they call DFS and even though you have done EVERYTIHG in your power INCLUDING giving you kiddow to friends of the family to look after while you go to rehab ect... yeah now you actually legally lost custody of your kid... The light of your life is gone... YOU ARE ALONE IN THE WORLD NOW... (both your fucking kids have been taken from you OMFG your entire life has been built arounf being a fuckin parent and now your nothing but a drug addict... they say time dont matter but dang a year on meth and my ENTIRE LIFE DISSAPEARED BEFORE MY EYES) you have nobody and nothing to look forward to on a dily baisis now... what do you do though?? By now youd think with all you been through how lonely you are how much of yourself and your life and the people you love that you have lost youd sink into a full blown life destroying meth addction... NOPE you actually get clean... YOU GOT SOBER OFF METH OF ALL DRUGS against all the odds set before you YOU GOT CLEAN (does anybody care nope) god i mean your not a success story at all by now. Not only have you survived being a single mom at such a young age as well as survived an tramatizing schizophreina onset loosing both of your kids and got away from a PSYCHOPATH but now you have survived a fucking meth addiction... JESUS CHRIST YOUR AN INSPIRATION do people think this about you??? NO not at all... your a looser fuck up crazy weirdo... damn and you thought you were doing good... nope... not yet... All you had through all of this was your mom. figures the strongest person you know is your fucking mom. Like nobody has survived as much shit as your mom accept you by this point. Sooo thanks mom for always being there when i needed you the most.. okay cool so here we are 7 fucking years later things have chilled out FINALLY for sure you got this after all that bull shit your pretty much back to normal and you got shit under control... K well i want you to look around and realize that nobody gives a shit... Your a LEGIT survivor and not one fucking person (welp accept oyur mom cuz shes the only one who really knows) gives a shit and people are constantly judging you thinkning you should have a job and be trying harder at life ect... You not doing the mom thing well enough your not doing the stay at home wife thing well enough your not being a productive member of society ect... Go through all that stereotypical DIFFICULT and CHALLENGING as well as RARE INSANITY and loss and then well and then place yourself under as much scrutiny as you can possibly imagin... Look around and realize that all the people in your life (beside maybe your mom) think your a puriah of the system cuz your living off a dissability check (a whopping $500 a month) a crazy weirdo your nothing but an insane weirdo looser lazy person... The only way anyobody will ever have any respect for you is if you get a pathetic $8 an hour job and pull yourself away from life as you know it now and work like the rest of humanity... GET A FUCKING JOB AND BE A BETTER PARENT BECAUSE YOUR A POS int he eyes of a lot of people close to you... CLEAN YOUR FUCKING KITCHEN AND COOK 9 course meals every single day... Your a looser I feel like dying right now... No joke :/ Im having a really bad fucking day~!!!!! Somebody mail me a fucking gold star okay!!