#this arc is making me insane

[mari-lair]

court is now in session

[teh-inggris]

pvp civ nation...... this aint much but pls take my contribution for this series bc im going insane i love hate this man so much get him out of my head

[future-crab]

The thing about TMA is that if I think about Sasha James too much I will cry and if I think about Michael Shelley too much I will cry and if I think about Agnes Montegue too much I will cry and if I think about Jonathan Sims too much I will cry and if I think about Naomi Herne too much I will cry and if I think about Gerry Keay too much I will cry and if I think about Tim Stoker too much I will cry and if I think about Jane Prentiss too much I will cry and if I think about Martin Blackwood too much I will cry and—

[trauma-bot]

sin eater

[thatbuddie]

good morning. can we talk about the fact that eddie is the only person buck consciously and explicitly came out to? … yeah <3

[iridescentdescendant]

joan of arc // gerard way // our lady of sorrows

[youokaybucky]

@daysofxavierspast pointed us on discord towards a post on the 100th bomb group's official instagram and I know it's a serious post and document but I'm laughing.

It's written by gale, for gale, but signed by his best friend john egan. These are the vibes this gives

They really be out here like "if you want something bestie I'll sign it off for you 🫶"

[babydolllblogger]

they deserved sm better ♱˚.⁺⊹ ࣪ mine

[essektheylyss]

One thing that I feel is really interesting and often forgotten about Essek is that fundamentally, his characterization has been from the start based upon his desperation for external perspectives and connection, which, along with much of his narrative and mechanical positioning, means that he actually has an extraordinary and almost (but not actually, as I'll show) counterintuitive capacity for both growth and trust.

(Buckle in. This is a long one.)

In particular, I would argue, knowing now that many places where the plot touches Ludinus have long been marked for connecting back into the current plot, that he was quite possibly built as a prime candidate for radicalization by the Ruby Vanguard. He felt isolated from his culture, he was desperate for other connection, and he was certainly of the type to believe he was too smart to be drawn into such a thing, given his initial belief that he could control the situation and the fallout. If things had gone any other way, he easily could've been on the other side by now.

As such, he has been hallmarked by being fairly open to suggestion, perhaps for this reason, but the thing about that kind of trait is that it is both how people are radicalized and deradicalized. This is certainly true of Essek, who experienced genuine kindness and quite frankly strangeness from the Nein and was able to move from the isolation the Assembly had engendered to meaningful and genuine connection, largely propelled by his own internal reflection. By the time Nein are aware of his crimes, he's already begun to express regret to an extent and, furthermore, doubt in the Assembly, including explicitly drawing a line against Ludinus, even in a position where he was on his own and probably quite vulnerable.

Similarly, when the Nein reach the Vurmas Outpost some weeks later, he has moved from regret for the position he's ended up carrying a heavy remorse. This makes sense! He's fairly introspective, seems used to spending a lot of time in his own head, and was left with plenty to mull over. It's not some kind of retcon for him to have progressed well past where the Nein left him; it just means he's an active participant in the world who has done his own work in the meantime.

This is another interesting aspect to him. I've talked about this a bit before but I cannot find the post so I'll recap here: antagonists in D&D have significantly more agency than allied NPCs. Antagonists are active forces, against which the party is meant to struggle; allies are meant to support the PCs, which means they tend to be more passive in both their actions and their character growth. Essek was both built as an antagonist, in a position that gives him significant agency, and also was then given significant opportunity to grow specifically to act as a narrative mirror for Caleb's arc. Even when he becomes a more traditional D&D ally, he still retains much of that, though he occupies a supporting role.

I believe that this is especially true because of the nature of Caleb's arc, which I've already written on; the tl;dr of this post is that Caleb is both convinced that he is permanently ruined and also desperate to prove that change is possible. Essek is that proof, because he is simply the character in a position to do so. But this also means that his propensity for introspection and openness is accentuated! He has to do the legwork on his own, for the most part, because that's where he is in the meantime.

But he still ends the campaign necessarily constricted; he is under significant scrutiny, he's at risk from the Assembly, and he goes on the run fairly soon after the story ends. He spends most of the final arc anxious and paranoid, which is valid given the crushing reality of his situation. It would be very easy to extrapolate that seven years into this reality, he would be insular, closed off, and suspicious of strangers, even in spite of the lessons he's learned from the Nein and their long term exposure.

So seeing his openness and lightness now is surprising, but at the same time, given this combination of factors in his position in the narrative over time and his defining traits, it's not by any means unreasonable.

But one thing that I found so delightful is how much trust he exhibits, which is obviously a wild thing to say about Essek in particular, given much of what he learns is both earning and offering trust, which was something he says explicitly in 2x124 that he's never really experienced: "I've never really been trusted and so I did not trust." It makes up much of the progression of his relationship with Caleb, and the trust that he is offered by the Nein in walking off the ship is the impetus he needs to grow.

But I think it's easy to talk about trust when it comes to people who have proven themselves to you or to whom you've ingratiated yourself, and that's really the most we can say about Essek by the time he leaves the Blooming Grove. There is this sense in a lot of discussion of trust (not solely in this fandom) that it is only related to either naivete or love, but there's far more to it. Trust at its best is deliberate—cultivating an openness to the world at large is a great way to combat cynicism and beget connection instead. It allows a person to maintain curiosity and be open to experience, but it can be incredibly difficult to hold onto.

It is clear that the Essek we meet now is a very pointedly and intentionally trusting individual. He trusts Caleb and by extension Caleb's trust in Keyleth, as he shows up and picks up a group of strangers from a foreign military encampment and walks in without issue. He trusts the Hells to follow his lead moving through Zadash and to exhibit enough discretion so as to avoid bringing suspicion upon all of them. He trusts that Astrid will respond well to his entrance, but he also trusts himself and the Hells enough to execute a back-up plan in the case that she doesn't. In the end, he even trusts them enough to give them his name and identity.

He doesn't scan as someone who has spent half a dozen years living like a prey animal, afraid of any shadow he runs across in an alley, withdrawn into himself and an insular family, which would've been an easy route for him to take. He scans as someone who has learned the kind of trust borne of learned confidence and a trained eye for good will and kindness, which are crucial weapons one would need for staving off cynicism in his circumstances—as if he has survived thanks more to connection and kindness than paranoia and isolation. (If we want to be saccharine about it, he scans quite poignantly as a member of the Mighty Nein.)

So it is easy to imagine this trust and openness as a natural progression of his initial search for perspectives external to his own cultural knowledge. Though he makes those first connections with the Assembly to try to vindicate his personal hypotheses, he finds in them exposure to the deepest corruption among Exandrian mortals, which could've—and did, for a time—turned him further down that same dark path.

But it's also this same openness to exposure from the wider world that allows the Nein to influence him for the better, and in spite of the challenges he's certainly faced simply surviving over the past seven years, he seems to have held onto this openness enough to move through the world with self-assurance and a willingness to extend the kinds of trust and good will that he has been shown.

(I would be remiss not to mention that I was reminded about my thoughts on this by this lovely post from sky-scribbles and their use in the tags of 'light' to describe Essek's demeanor this episode, which is really such an apt word for it.)

[crowskullls]

Thinking about Minute’s insane morals and how he doesn’t have a single genuinely bad bone in his body. He gets confused when he’s betrayed, he begs for explanations when people are cruel. He would rather make amends than hold onto grudges. He forgives and forgets. He teams with the same guy (Wemmbu) that’s betrayed him countless of times, and still trusts him anyways. Even if a bit reluctant at first. Even if he knows he’ll still end up betrayed.

Like this guy has PROBLEMS. He so morally… Good. He can stoop down to other people’s level, he can play dirty, he can be intimidating. He doesn’t really let himself get walked all over. But he’d MUCH rather just hang out and have peace. He gets upset when people are negative because he’s just SO optimistic. He always has to see the Good side of things, even when it’s a horrendous situation.

Even when he has reasons to be angry and upset and spiteful, he still chooses to hold his head high and STICK to his morals. He’s Stubborn. He tries so hard to see Why people are evil and hurtful, but he can’t personally understand. He needs to be the hero. He needs to save others. Because who else is going to do it? Who else has the resources, the strength, the backbone, the reputation? He gives items out to people with no expectation for reimbursement. He’s always saving other server members, even his enemies, from tricky situations.

He tries hard to remain all mysterious and brooding. He tries to seem calm and collected. But he wears his heart on his sleeve. You can hear every emotion in his voice, in the glint in his eyes. The way his smile upturns when he finds something amusing, or how his eyebrows furrow when he’s trying to piece something together. He’s an incredibly emotional guy, and he’s not good at hiding it. He’s notoriously a bad liar. He gives himself away every time he opens his mouth. It’s WHY he’s so genuine, so easy to trust.

It’s easy to get under his skin, but he still holds his ground. Because he has to. Because the world is cruel and brutal, and everyone is out to get him. Killing is second nature on most SMPs, especially on Lifesteal. But he can defend himself. Most other people can’t. He’s paranoid, and watches events from the sidelines (even if it annoys other players.) He always has extra food and fireworks to give out. Despite covering himself in dark colors, and hiding from large groups, he’s still looking out for others. He’s still the beacon of hope people need. He’s so annoyingly optimistic and cheerful that it’s sickening to most. He refuses to let himself become bitter and pessimistic.

Anyways bro thinks he’s Batman.

[hermitcraftx]

The problem with a lot of traffic life interpretations in my opinion is they don't understand character foils or don't employ them in their writing. Grian-Martyn and Scar-Ren are genuinely pretty good character foils for a series that is not really scripted or planned out like a book is. I could go on and on about how they parallel each other and the similarities between them. Even the smaller details between the four usually match up

leaving the rant in the tags so I don't have a huge block of text again ueueue

[ask-steven-stevenson]

FUCCCKKK. tosses william here. moon is off to grab harry. he. he can kinda get a sense of what is happening.

shhitt... hey! hey dad. hey do. do you need anything? do. do you want me to just talk? or the opposite.

//@the-flys-buzz (HES SO WORRIED ABOUT XIS DAD HE WANTS TO HELP BUT. its been a while since hes had a meltdown himself....)

[SOBBS PEOPLE GAF AB HIM…/silly.]

“Hn.. I’m. Fine.imfineimfineimfine.”

[HE’S. Basically punching his leg. Unsafe? Sure, but better than before.]

[bleue-flora]

Michaelmcchill really asking the real questions about Dream and the Prison…

[clip] Sapnap: “He’s fucked up alright? He was my friend but he’s Fucked Up, okay? He wanted to control everyone.” Eryn:”Really?” Micheal: “So you do think he should be in there?” Sapnap: “Yes.” Michael: “For how long?”

[clip] (about Sapnap’s visit to prison) Michael: “But was he like shaking bars fucked up? Or like what?—Was he acting like a fucking monkey in the zoo, like trying to get the fuck out, or what?” Sapnap: “Like no this—look he went from being fucked up in terms of like—like him just being like a bad person to him being fucked up by being like he wouldn’t talk—like oh he—he was like—he got fucked up from being in prison so long. You know what I mean? There’s a difference between the two fucks up.” Michael: “Well if he got fucked up from being in prison then maybe he should be out?” Sapnap: “No, no, no, Micheal, you’ve got it all wrong. He needs to be in prison til he’s not fucked up either way. Once he’s just not fucked up and—” Michael: “Wait a minute, so the prison made him fucked up?” Sapnap: “No, no, no, he was fucked up, alright? And then he got a different kind of fucked up but he’s probably still the other fucked up as well. You get what I’m saying.” Michael: “I mean I get it he was fucked up before he went in but it seems like the prison has fucked him up even more.” Sapnap: “No—no, look he’s gonna get better.” Michael: “If he—if he’s your friend, wouldn’t you want to help him get better?”

[clip] Michael: “But maybe the prison can’t help him!” Sapnap: “Michael, you’re wrong.” Michael: “I’m—I’m just asking.” Sapnap: “Michael, he has to stay in there. If he comes out— Michael: “These aren’t necessarily my opinions I just don’t—I mean if he’s you friend—What if he needs therapy instead of the prison?”

[jackattack20writes]

It’s really fun how Kubo clearly has it out for me specifically. Like I do not care if ships I don’t like are canon in anything. I don’t care that Naruto ended up with Hinata, Percy ended up with annabeth, hinny, the bs with Blair in yugioh gx, eremika, the deletion of jadewalker, just the rebuilds in general, none of that matters to me cause if i want the ships i like 99% of the time fanfic/art is just better.

But fucking Kubo.

He just won’t stop.

So i can’t stop thinking about them and just accept them as non canon. They exist in this schrodinger’s canon.

Like what the fuck man? Why is your “recap of the key moments of Bleach.” Just a fucking IchiRuki AMV? The canon relationships get like two frames with the leads and they’re fucking group shots! Like what the fuck?

This is like if Sarada had blonde hair and whisker marks. Honest to god I swear the last scene of the anime isn’t gonna be the footprint it’s gonna be it’s a tragedy in impact font covering the screen.

[athousandbyeol]

you'll understand it soon. there's no need to rush.

[hopeswriting]

remember when tsuna said "but i’m not mafia!! i don’t have an ounce of pride as mafia!!" and enma immediately said to that "you’re still going on about that? you’ve stained your hands as a mafia boss, haven’t you?"

and remember when tsuna said "and i don’t intend to inherit the current vongola" (and how before that he officially said to nono "i would like to… turn down the title of the tenth boss of vongola.”) to which enma said "hahaha, you’re still saying that. that’s just unfair of you, sawada tsunayoshi. isn’t the crest on your gloves proof of the vongola? that’s who you’ll always be. you’re at the center of the vongola, and have been benefiting the most from the vongola’s power. and then, when the going gets tough, you escape from the responsibility. wielding the vongola crest, getting others involved, hurting them, then saying that you won’t succeed as the boss. you hope too much."

and remember when tsuna immediately denied it, saying "......!! ...... no!! i didn’t mean to hurt others! i want to use this power to protect my friends! that’s how it’s been until now... and always will be!" but enma said "a fraud like primo. you liar. do you seriously think you could escape from your bloody fate?"

and remember how the vindice said "what you must fight for in this battle, is your pride!!" and reborn said "it's natural to think that they're talking about the pride of being mafia" to which tsuna immediately said "but i'm not mafia!! i don't have an ounce of pride as mafia!!" but then adel said "everyone holds a different pride within themselves."

and then, remember how by the end of the arc tsuna said "my pride is... you. my pride is... my comrades, my friends!!"

remember??