#thinking of suicide

[rose-smoke]

[i-am-a-fish]

I'm very sorry to ask something like this, I've really been struggling with this question, and I wanted to ask the combined wisdom of the people on this site

I would like to know why you keep going, and what drives you to keep living. I know there are a lot of reasons to stay alive and enjoy life, I can think of a few that personally resonate with me, but I really want to know what your reasons are

You do not have to comment on this if that's too big of an ask, and I'm very sorry for asking something like this, I really need someone's help, I feel like I don't have much purpose

Also if I may ask, please don't post any suicidal ideation in the comments of this post, I really can't handle something like that right now

[lotus-pear]

learning to love

[identitty-dickruption]

one of the worst things in the world is that feeling unloveable can (and will) make you act in ways that reinforces itself. I feel unloveable so I don’t respond to messages so people reach out less so I feel unloveable. one of the hardest things in the world is fighting back the brain demons long enough to break the cycle

[cupcakeslushie]

First || Prev || Next

Y’all didn’t think I’d continue where we left off from, and reveal the mystery, did you??

I know it’s kinda an abrupt ending, but boy was this one fighting me. I redrew and erased like four or five panels before just cutting them out altogether, and deciding to end this part here.

Btw I know it looks rough, but Raph’s poke is not violent, it’s just a stern one.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Thanks for listening to my sad backstory. Anyway, here's Wonderwall.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[chxrrylungs]

they're the same ship in a different font and by font i mean treatment of their yellow omnipotent boyfriends

[faoluoo]

ordered yaoi and got served yuri wtf

[brainmuncher]

So I had another idea come at me while making lunch (I'm starting to sense a pattern with myself, lmao)

What if when Jazz sends out letters to the colleges she wants to get into, she gets sent rejection letters from every single one... except the local community college. She's absolutely devastated about it. She thought that she did everything she could to be chosen. How could every single one reject her?

Danny, of course, hears about it and asks Tucker to check and see if something happened digitally. Surely, Technus or Vlad or someone messed with something to sabotage her. But when Tucker checks, there's absolutely nothing wrong. She still has her perfect grades and attendance record all set with no marks. Her community service hours are all there. It's only when he looks at the letters themselves that he finds the problem...

After looking online to see what the letters look like, he comes to a puzzling realization... the letters were fake. It's a good fake, but it's not the real thing. The signatures were off, and the writing had been changed.

This is what leads him down the rabbit hole.

He tries to ask about it online to ask others who've also been rejected. Except nobody is answering him.

Sam tries to call the numbers listed on the websites of the colleges... but the person who answers is strangely unknowledgeable about the college they represent.

The only college that seems normal about it was the nearby community college. And that somehow feels the least normal about everything.

It was only when he heard his mom complaining that they never heard from family anymore after they moved to Amity that he figured it out.

Containment. Nothing is leaving Amity. No emails, texts, letters, or posts online. Everything was being blocked.

Of course, this sends him on a mission as to why and how. He spends weeks on it. Sam and Danny actually began to become concerned for him. No, this isn't a pride thing, Sam. And yes, he is taking care of himself, Danny.

Technus is the one who gives him the answer. It was just a passing comment about how he needed to funnel through the GIW in order to infect the world. It didn't make sense to any of them because surely that's the last place you would want to do that. But then it dawned on Tucker. That's who has the power needed to do it! That's where he needed to look!

So he hacks into the GIW and is astonished by what he finds.

The anti ecto acts aren't real. There's no laws even acknowledging ghosts.

There's a file on Phantom, marked as 'candidate for X'.

And all he can find on the containment is a name he's seen described as the creator of the GIW and the main supplier of funds.

Amanda Waller.

[mooseymi]

"All you wanted was to make the hurt go away," is just the standards and practices friendly way of saying he was suicidal. "Some things are better left unsaid," is just the standards and practices friendly way of saying he committed (assissted?) suicide.

[onetoomanyyy]

What if Marina had Whatsapp 😂

[even-disco-baby]

THOUGHT GAINED: INFERNAL ENGINES

PROBLEM

The world is ending. You know it, your neighbor knows it, the dealer knows it, the jailer knows it, the king and all his men know it. All one has to do is look around to see it— the future is curdling into something pale and incorporeal. The infernal machine that is this stupid world is going to blow, sooner rather than later. So what are you doing? Why are you still here? Why is anyone still here?

SOLUTION

You are doing the only thing worth doing. You are living. *Why,* you ask? Try and remember now. Remember your mother’s hand on your shoulder. Remember the taste of a fresh catch. Remember the times when you were kind to the dogs in the valley and they did not bare their teeth. Remember the weight of a child on your shoulders. Remember the stars throwing their light against the wall of sodium and smog. Remember singing until your throat was raw. Remember crying just as loudly and publicly, and the gentleness with which someone opened your curled fist and pressed a handkerchief into your palm. Crying, laughing, running, eating, screaming, haunting, loving, fighting, fighting, fighting. The fight fuels you, and you fuel the fight. You run yourself ragged just for a chance to keep running. You never stop. You cannot stop. The world depends on it. *You* are the infernal engine. You are the world. And, simply put: you want to live.

[royaltea000]

Me when I’m in a being coerced into parenthood competition and my opponent is sun wukong

[dykedvonte]

I think about the fact Anya locking herself in the infirmary with Curly to kill herself and how it is in way reclaiming a space that was initially hers from Jimmy.

Not to mention how she must've been aware of Jimmy's obsession with Curly and the idea that he would lose his power over the both of them (based on the fact she likely thought they would never get the door open) and having to face the responsibility of two deaths being on his hands as acting captain.

It was her final act of agency stuck on that ship with her abuser and it says something that she chose to die next to Curly, despite his inaction, leaned against him as if they were just in a casual conversation before her death. Despite everything, Anya made the final decision on her own terms and it speaks volumes considering her treatment and demeanor up until that point.

[letsplaythermalnuclearwar]

hey you know what would be like. the WORST possible thing? if no time had passed for mortals during God Games. if the entire time, Odysseus had just been frozen on that ledge. and at the start of the Vengeance Saga, Ody's still on the ledge. he looks to the skies, to the trees, out over the ocean. he looks for an owl with knowing eyes and strains to hear her voice over the waves, because surely, surely she'd come for him. the haven't spoken in nine years and he ruined whatever relationship they had when he stupidly, foolishly let the cyclops live, but she has to still care, right? she was his mentor. she was his patron. he meant something to her. he's sure of it

but she's not there. he waits, but she's not there. he closes his eyes, sparing himself the view, and steps off the ledge

and is saved by Hermes. and Odysseus briefly thinks that he has died, since Hermes escorts souls to the underworld. but Hermes assures him that, no, he's alive, Athena heard him, she bargained with Zeus, he can go home now. he can finally go home

his friend came through

[river-of-wine]

Death to Dutch van der Linde!