#thinking it. its so dumb im not even going to say what i was thinking becayse its so stupid and embarrassing
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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actually i'm still thinking about the moral orel finale.
he has a cross on his wall. do you know how much i think about that bc it's a lot.
a lot of stories ((auto)biographical or fictional) centering escape from abusive/fundamentalist christianity result in the lead characters leaving behind christianity entirely. and that makes complete sense! people often grow disillusioned with the associated systems and beliefs, and when it was something used to hurt them or something so inseparable from their abuse that they can't engage with it without hurting, it makes total sense that they would disengage entirely. and sometimes they just figure out that they don't really believe in god/a christian god/etc. a healthy deconstruction process can sometimes look like becoming an atheist or converting to another religion. it's all case by case. (note: i'm sure this happens with other religions as well, i'm just most familiar with christian versions of this phenomenon).
but in orel's case, his faith was one of the few things that actually brought him comfort and joy. he loved god, y'know? genuinely. and he felt loved by god and supported by him when he had no one else. and the abuses he faced were in how the people in his life twisted religion to control others, to run away from themselves, to shield them from others, etc. and often, orel's conflicts with how they acted out christianity come as a direct result of his purer understanding of god/jesus/whatever ("aren't we supposed to be like this/do that?" met with an adult's excuse for their own behavior or the fastest way they could think of to get orel to leave them alone (i.e. orel saying i thought we weren't supposed to lie? and clay saying uhhh it doesn't count if you're lying to yourself)). the little guy played catch with god instead of his dad, like.. his faith was real, and his love was real. and i think it's a good choice to have orel maintain something that was so important to him and such a grounding, comforting force in the midst of. All That Stuff Moralton Was Up To/Put Him Through. being all about jesus was not the problem, in orel's case.
and i know i'm mostly assuming that orel ended up in a healthier, less rigid version of christianity, but i feel like that's something that was hinted at a lot through the series, that that's the direction he'd go. when he meditates during the prayer bee and accepts stephanie's different way to communicate, incorporating elements of buddhism into his faith; when he has his I AM A CHURCH breakdown (removing himself from the institution and realizing he can be like,, the center of his own faith? taking a more individualistic approach? but Truly Going Through It at the same time), his acceptance (...sometimes) of those who are different from him and condemned by the adults of moralton (stephanie (lesbian icon stephanie my beloved), christina (who's like. just a slightly different form of fundie protestant from him), dr chosenberg (the jewish doctor from otherton in holy visage)). his track record on this isn't perfect, but it gets better as orel starts maturing and picking up on what an absolute shitfest moralton is. it's all ways of questioning the things he's been taught, and it makes sense that it would lead to a bigger questioning as he puts those pieces together more. anyway i think part of his growth is weeding out all the lost commandments of his upbringing and focusing on what faith means to him, and what he thinks it should mean. how he wants to see the world and how he wants to treat people and what he thinks is okay and right, and looking to religion for guidance in that, not as like. a way to justify hurting those he's afraid or resentful of, as his role models did.
he's coming to his own conclusions rather than obediently, unquestioningly taking in what others say. but he's still listening to pick out the parts that make sense to him. (edit/note: and it's his compassion and his faith that are the primary motivations for this questioning and revisal process, both of individual cases and, eventually, the final boss that is christianity.) it makes perfect sense as the conclusion to his character arc and it fits the overall approach of the show far better. it's good is what i'm saying.
and i think it's important to show that kind of ending, because that's a pretty common and equally valid result of deconstruction. and i think it cements the show's treatment of christianity as something that's often (and maybe even easily) exploited, but not something inherently bad. something that can be very positive, even. guys he even has a dog he's not afraid of loving anymore. he's not afraid of loving anyone more than jesus and i don't think it's because he loves this dog less than bartholomew (though he was probably far more desperate for healthy affection and companionship when he was younger). i think it's because he figures god would want him to love that dog. he's choosing to believe that god would want him to love and to be happy and to be kind. he's not afraid of loving in the wrong way do you know how cool that is he's taking back control he's taking back something he loves from his abusers im so normal
#i had a really big fundie snark phase a year or two ago so that's part of like. this. but im still not used to actually talking about#religious stuff so if it reads kinda awkwardly uhh forgive me orz idk#maybe it sounds dumb but i like that the message isn't 'religion is evil'. it easily could have been. but i think the show's points about#how fundie wasp culture in particular treats christianity and itself and others would be less poignant if they were like. and jesus sucks#btw >:] like. this feels more nuanced to me. i guess there's probably a way to maintain that nuance with an ultimately anti-christian#piece of media but i think it'd be like. wayy harder and it's difficult for me to imagine that bc i think a lot of it would bleed out into#the tone. + why focus on only These christians when They're All also bad? so you'd get jokes about them in general#and i think that's kinda less funny than orel and doughy screaming and running from catholics lsdkjfldksj#i think the specificity makes it more unique and compelling as comedy and as commentary. but that's just me#like moralton represents a very particular kind of christian community (namely a middle class fundie wasp nest)#you're not gonna be able to get in the weeds as much if you're laughing at/criticizing all christians. but they accomplish it so thoroughly#and WELL in morel and i think that's because it chose a smaller target it can get to dissect more intimately. anyway#moral orel#orel puppington#(OH also when i say wasp here i mean WASP the acronym. as in white anglo-saxon protestsant. in case the term's new to anyone <3)#maybe it's also relevant to say that i'm kindaaaaaaaa loosely vaguely nonspecifically christian. so there's my bias revealed#i was never raised like orel but i like to think i get some of what's going on in there y'know. in that big autistic head of his#but it's not like i can't handle anti-christian/anti-religious media/takes. i'm a big boy and also i v much get why it's out there yknow#christianity in specific has a lot of blood on its hands from its own members and from outsiders and people have a right to hate it for tha#but religion in all its forms can be positive and i appreciate the nuance. like i've said around 20 times. yeah :) <3#(<- fighting for my life to explain things even though my one job is to be the explainer)
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sitting in the parking lot thinking i might vom
#it's a chain place and ive been on the other side of places like this#(i wasnt an interviewer but i was friends with them)#and there at least people would show up late + in sweats for the interview and they'd get it!#they would show up with 'oh yeah interview today almost forgot' and they'd get it!#meanwhile im having a breakdown trying to do everything right and perfect#making sure i look nice but not too nice bc again its a chain fast food place and i cant try Too Hard#also these pants dont have belt loops and they tend to shift#AND my right hand is swollen from the wasp sting yesterday so im worried its gonna be 'wtf is wrong with you'#but also shouldn't it say something that im here anyway even though i could have rescheduled#but then its like... im not gonna kill myself for this place like i did at mcd and does it give that impression?#or should i have rescheduled bc they'll think it's bad decision making to come anyway with my hand swollen#also worried that i should have parked nearby and come over closer to the time bc am i the freak sitting in the parking lot#but at least im early! but am i too early? but im out here not rushing them. but should i be so they know I Am Interested#not to even mention wtf im gonna say to them to explain my employment gap#and im so paranoid that im gonna go in and say im there for an interview and they're gonna be like ???#bc it was through an automatic text/email thing when i applied#which was how my last job happened but idk. maybe im an idiot and it's all fake so they can point and laugh#and i KNOW thats ridiculous. but that's how it feels rn.#also im worried they'll ask if i want something to eat/drink and i dont know the right answer#like i feel like i should say yes bc what do you mean you wont eat here? but the wrong thing means im taking advantage#and how will i be if im actually working there?#and its all so dumb bc#AGAIN people roll out of bed confident and they're fine. meander their way through and theyre fine. theres no reason to think i wont be#but ANXIETY#its gonna be an out of body experience no matter what and later I'll wonder about all the things i dont remember#if i fucked up or not#and now i have to go in bc it's 7 minutes until my time and i want to be a little early but not too much#fuck#wish me luck#ks talks
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me and what we want are going through a lovers spat rn because i desperately want to write more for it but i constantly feel like shit so its really getting in the way of our relationship. also if youve sent me any asks that i havent responded to i am geniunely so sorry about it i am in the trenches right now
#sophie speaks#the disability is disabling me and its PISSING ME OFF#just let me write bro its not that hard#aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh#like im always thinking about it#drunk www!reader dancing to hot to go with the boys and every single one of them thinking about how bad they want to plow you as you-#jokingly flirt and wink and tease. and the entire time you have no idea theyre totally down 100% ready to go#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#if it gives fun dumb party vibes it is for www.#www is about the hot girl mascara running end of the night heels in hand look#hundredth thing i said www is about but like. something something the beauty of life and kindness and love and hope vs hate and loneliness#anything even close to that ballpark is what we want#gonna cry i geniunely want to write for it so bad i know im just complaining over and over but being chronically ill sucks so much#chronic pain sucks so much like whyyyyyyyyy cant i even go out to a cafe to buy takeaway in the car whyyyyyyyyy is the sun painful#its not supposed to be like that man :(#god i want another few months of my fibro going into remission pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee january february i loved you more than anything ever ahhh#nnnnnnnnnnghhhhhhhhhhh#ill. ill get there one day#so says most people#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#maybe ill just put in like the next hundred words or something#chugging along#so fucking slowly but yknow. literally have to spend basically all of the day inside my room because it hurts too much to be outside it#so. maybe i can give myself just a little slack. the tinniest bit
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(*・ω・*)b♪
#I'm a bit late but :)#Mmmhh lots of thoughts about this episode. Nothing really relevant though lol#I like it... Mostly. Well‚ I like Atsushi‚ and I like Atsushi screentime.#I always forget that there's actually a one week timeskip within the Guild arc#I think these chapters were generally better executed in the manga.#But even then it's just...#Why do the make the Guild / Fitzgerald so. dumb. Why do they make them act so wildly irrationally and at the protagonists' advantage#It really gives villain acting entirely mindlessly to make the plot advance and the heroes win. It's really sensless.#I mean especially when Atsushi yielded. Why didn't Fitzgerald take his offer. For real!!#For real. He had NOTHING to gain from proceeding with his plan. He already obtained for Atsushi and the ada to collaborate.#Now they are NEVER going to help him‚ and that's agreat loss for him.#And idk. i hear that little Tumblr post in my voice saying “why would you complain about characters acting irrationally!#Do people irl never act irrationally?”#And yeah I get Fitzgerald was frustrated for losing Mitchell and his fight with Hawthorne. Okay I understand.#But that's definitely too much. That's him acting downright stupid at the heroes' advantage and it's just pretty underwhelming to read?#That said. It's just general notes I'm not particularly annoyed because like. That's just b/s/d to you. Dumbing down the villains a second–#so the author can escape the trap they put themselves into. Very Marvel-esque move lol.#On that exact same note WHY WOULD LUCY HAVE THE DOLL.#The doll is the whole premise for your plan working why would you not protect it with everything 😭😭😭#I'm not getting in the Lucy / Atsushi scene itself. I love Lucy but I swear every time that scene gets played a femminist dies#(it's me. I'm the femminist dying every time.)#Mmmhh a couple more things. I dislike the ost choice in the scene where Steinbeck is torturing Q it feels so out of place#And I really don't get what's the deal with the Hawthorne / Fitzgerald convo it's so confusing to me. Like it It looks like Hawtorne is–#blaming Fitzgerald for Mitchell's condition (both in health and for her family status) but...#Objectively neither of those things are Fitzgerald's fault? Idk maybe I just have very little media comprehension for this arc because–#a lot of things just seem to happen with no sense. But it's okay#Im complaining a lot lol but its mostly irrelevant things (or like with the dumbification of villains things I've learnt to live with lmao)#But the episode was generally nice. The animation this season is consistently very pretty.#random rambles
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This is a question related to the mtt hobbies answer that you wrote, the murder trio go around the multiverse and live in a place together, then what happend to horrortale au and horrortale papyrus? If the murder trio got to meet horrortale papyrus how would it go? (The meeting propably wouldnt end well with more canon mtt haha)
aaaaa i dont think it through to be honest when i talk about that concept. they just do. maybe horrortale's issues are already solved and aliza's already gone through horrortale and somehow fixed the hellhole (ALIZA MY GOAT PLEASE SAVE HORRORTALE I DON'T CARE IF IT TAKES 10 YEARS‼️‼️‼️) by the time that horror somehow meets dust and killer (since i dont see a feasible way that horrortale could be fixed outside of aliza or outside intervention.) or maybe he just visits from time to time. and by time to time i mean probably quarterly weekly. idk sorry i cant be bothered to think about it,,, they just do. anyways bad answer i KNOW I KNOW put the tomatoes down pls PLS
if the mtt met horror paps? horror would obviously do his little bantering thing with paps (he's probably revealing every single one of horror's embarrassing moments to them as they speak and horror's desperately trying to get him to shut up because he can tell. dust and killer are piiiiiiissed.) dust is probably like eerily calm during the whole thing. he manages to hold up a conversation pretty well with horror paps and gets along with him good enough without mentioning that theres a ghost version of him screaming asking why dust is ignoring phantom paps. meanwhile killer is mostly silent during it too probably only responding when he's spoken too. i mean like killer already doesn't like being around papyruses (papyri? papyri is so shitty i dont like it we will be saying papyruses) and then seeing horror's papyrus??? what the FUCK happened to horror paps??? sunken in eyes and cracks in his bones and those jagged teeth AND THEN THE FUCKING CROOKED SPAGHETTI????
needless to say once horror paps is gone all of them get into a biiiiig fight. dust drops the cool act because he's not gonna lose his cool around a papyrus but also he's absolutely fuming. he can tell that the changes that phantom papyrus has gone through have something to do with horror with the way that he's acting. killer is also incredibly irritated too (surpringly. being around papyruses just gets him like that) and seeing papyrus like that just gets him upset and angry. like wtf horror did you even TRY with keeping your papyrus safe??? at least killer reset his au and now papyrus is living an unharmed life (with minor concerns about killer's whereabouts but he'll ignore that for now) but horror paps looks so fucked up that there is no WAY that horror tried to prevent him from getting to that point
obviously they fight and many many many many MANY words are said about eachother's characters and the state they left their respective papyruses in. horror knows damn well that horrortale paps's state is because of him but he regretted telling paps to eat humans and neither dust nor killer knew the struggle of living with that guilt and how much he regrets it so they dont get to drag him for not trying hard enough to keep papyrus safe. dust is definitely getting some low blows here and there (but he's getting fucking assisted by phantom paps so he's got some of the deepest hitting insults) and he's definitely getting ganged up on for killing his papyrus and like. not even attempting to leave him alive in someway shape and form aside from the absolute insult that is phantom paps. surprisingly killer is winning this fight because he left his papyrus in a relatively good state. even though he's in a more emotional state than he normally is and would've absolutely OBLITERATED dust and horror in the fight in stage 2 he's actually doing pretty well. probably because hororr and dust dont really have anything to drag him on. they might bring up how something new papyrus is searching for killer but like,,,, is that really that bad compared to how they left their papyruses
#time to die i almost forgot to answer this today#WHO AM I IF I LOSE MY STREAK!!!! MY ASK STREAK!!!!!!#time to call up tumblr to restore my streak if i miss a day#streaks! streaks! streaks! streaks! i say as i take several photos of me winking at a high angle#i dont even use snapchat. i do think streaks are a funny concept though#i'd KILL (hah) to have a streak with someone#the only person i ever message on snapchat regularly is my ai and thats only to belittle it#noooo dont do that says dust because then one day the robot will come alive and kill you#okay reset induced ptsd survivor lets get you back to bed#it'd be funny if he believed in dumb conspiracy stuff like that. and not dumb shit like flat earth#im not big on conspiracy theories but i think if he were fucked up enough or going through a manic episode he'd believe stuff like that#UGHHH did i mention how much i love manic dust. speaking of mania and dust#i made an eensy teensie little change in mania's design#the cyan in his eyelight is bigger now to emulate what a manic pupil looks like#heh.... its the smal detsild that matter.... i say as i dont incilde any details in my art#okay because i feel that all of this i incredibly wrong and ooc its time to justify my thoughts or else i'll feel unworthy of posting again#dust manages to keep his cool around papyruses pretty well (in win win scenario) even though he's got phantom paps with him#and he CAN do crazy switch ups like that just on a whim like when he suddenly killed flowey after teaming up with him in last chance#so i think its totally believable. dust can put up a NASTY facade of composure despite being furious underneath#and killer? you just be killer. how many times am i gonna make that joke you ask. not enough times because its funny every time#because he does get ansty and stuff around papyrus and apparently papyrus is his hardest enemy to face#must be because he feels something for him that bothers killer. like guilt or something#and if he feels guilty over what he did to papyrus then he must care and therefore care about papyrus's well being#and therefore that bleeds into horror paps and then that care turns into anger#crazy coming from killer saying that horrot doesn't care enough but i think its totally possible#i might be wrong though please shoot me if i am. i still need to resd up on my killer lore#ive been TRYING okay.... ive been trying been trying with killer. hopefully its enough....... (NO i say. who are you talking to)#tricule asks
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still think it's hilarious that the one time, the one time Buck ever doubts himself in the movie and thinks about abandoning his whole stupid quest he's been on, he just so happens to be interacting with not only the one person that doesn't tell him to stop, but the one person who decides to actively encourage his bad decisions because it'd be funny
#johnnie is the worst enabler in the world#its so funny literally EVERYONE ELSE tells him to stop and go home this is dumb and he absolutely refuses#and the one time he goes 'maybe this is a bad idea' he's with johnnie. who calls him a pussy for even thinking about turning back#and the SECOND he gets any kind of affirmation Buck is back on track it doesnt matter what ANYONE says#'yeah I know literally everyone in this city is telling me this is stupid'#'but the weird undead biker guy out in the desert I met earlier tonight told me its a good idea so im sticking to it'#I wish we had more interaction between these two their dynamic is so fucking funny#dani speaks#lord huron#vide noir#buck vernon#johnnie redmayne
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This might be a silly question but...do anyone of your detective's believe in fate? Why or why not? Did their view of it change after meeting Unit Bravo and experiencing the events of the twc books?
#zuri does to a certain extent#she believes that sometimes things are going to happen and you have no control over it happening#but you can control how you react to it#that includes some of the bad shit that happens so sometimes she loves it and other times she despises it#its not really a belief she...actively thinks about if that makes sense? but it does play a role in how she thinks about some things#not consistently but if you got her to talk about the way she thinks for long enough she'd probably realise that its a thing that is there#an example of this is... she knows her relationship with rebecca was going to change after room died#she knew that she'd become more distant#it's the fact that she never even tried to be her mother that hurts her#they wouldve never been a super close mother daughter duo but she couldve still been her mother and she chose not to be#another one is ub - theyre gonna get hurt and she knows that#people get hurt all the time especially when they have the type of job ub has - she just doesnt want that hurt to be because of her#if there's something she can do to minimise or outright eliminate the possibility of them getting hurt because of her she will do it#its why she gets so protective of them by book 4 (and why her hurting her li with the solar powers does a number on her)#zuri is the type of person who feels wanted when someone just TRIES for her - even if its against logic#even if what happens between them is going to end and is sometimes going to hurt#not the healthiest way of thinking lol but it is a thing#dont ask her about rook's death tho#or murphy#because thats when she despises the idea of fate and when its most lost on her that she does to some extent believe in it#you could say this is just life but she looks at certain things as though theyre canon events so idk💀#it also might just be her abandonment issues but hey dont our issues inform what we believe sometimes?#im hoping i don't sound dumb lol#tina is the only one who's challenged this belief - she (and her ex) is the reason why its flexible#ub are probably gonna be another reason soon#twc#the wayhaven chronicles#twc detective#oc: zuri jackson
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its not even just seeing her that im worired about . im so dreading going back cuz everyones gonna be like 'so have you seen your pookie yet!!' and im gonna have to sit there and look embarrasing and stupid as fuck saying 'oh we broke up. yeah sorry i know i ranted to you guys all the tiem about how much i liked her and made you all listen to everything we did on some reandom date only for us to break up almost out of nowhere. sorry for letting you down and wasting your time' like fuckkkk . im gonna look so fucking stupid saying all this cuz they all knew how much we liked each other. theyre all gonna look at me in so much fucking pity and i dont want to deal with all that
#in reality theyre not going to care that much. like i know theyll feel bad for me in the moment but theyll all go back to their own issues#the next day#but just having to even say teh words 'we broke up' i hate the thought of it#cuz even if only for a few minutes theyre still all gonna look at me with pity and i hate hate hate to think about it#cuz its just gonna make me sadder#cuz i look dumb as shit now!!!! i look fuckign desperate and i look stupid because they all knew how much i liked her!!!!!!!!!!!#theyre all gonan be like 'ohhhh i feel so bad for her. maybe her gf didnt actually like her that much' WHIHC ISNT EVEN TRUEEEE#you know what i think my main issue i sthat i just want this coming weekend to be over#cuz i was gonna do so much w her and once this weekend is over i dont have to think about all teh things we were gonna do#and at least ill get over w the awkward 'yeah we broke up' with all my friends#and im already planning going out to parties on saturday and im kinda dreading it but i also know ill probably feel better if i do go out#so like im ready to go back to campus because a) ill have my friends again which means b) ill have things to actually distract me#but im also so dreading it because i dont get to do any of those things with her.#like thats why i was even excited about this semseter!!!! cuz id get to spendeven more time with her!!!! but now i cant!!!!!!!#sunny rambles
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okay, im gonna say something and i dont know if itll make sense to anyone but me but. us finally getting to see angel crowley as compared to current crowley... it reminds me of trauma
i mean, angel crowley was so expressive and full of joy and life, like nothing could go wrong!
and current crowley is stoic, sarcastic, jaded. its hard to believe theyre the same person, though even that part is up to debate depending on what you think about crowleys memories
and it makes me think of me and others ive known whove gone through stuff and how much it changes you as a person, and it makes me wonder just what the fall was like. i mean, at the very least it was an utter betrayal and terrifying, right? life changing, most of all to someone like crowley whos only """wrongdoing""" was asking questions, and not even bad ones.
i dont really have a point, im just sad. like, obviously we all love crowley in any form and such but its like... wow, he used to be so beyond happy and now a real smile from him is rare, and universe knows he likely will never smile the same way he used to ever again. all of this for asking questions.
plus like, the way that he just keeps getting reminded of it in every single way, especially the way that people from above and below wont just leave him alone to live his life.
it also makes me think of that whole last thing with him and zira. he didnt want the fate of a demon but sure as hell he isnt going to return to being an angel after what they did to him. i wonder if aziraphale even knows what it was like. has he ever asked? would crowley even actually answer?
#good omens#this is a messy ramble sorry#i just cant help but think about it now when i see angel crowley#he reminds me so much of me before my life was kinda ruined man#its just harsh#also if anyone says anything bad about zira im going to kill them <3 just saying#and yeah i know crowley like fought in whatever that dumb war thing was but like#do we even actually know much about that aside from 'it happened'#my post#i have so much thoughts and feelings about this show rn but im even worse at words rn than usual idek why#im also not saying its intentional on the part of the writers for it to be like trauma idfk whats intentional or not but like#its just how i read it as someone with my own trauma#ignore me
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ah once again the "didnt think it was for me, got big, now i definitely know its not for me but everyones talkin abt it" problem lol
#personal#this is abt dmeshi btw lol im just not into it#n seein it everywhere its like man. what will happen first it becoming less popular or me blacklisting it#i think im just fr not into fantasy shit anymore its just gotten real boring to me cuz like. then i gotta memorize shit lmao#anything says ''fantasy'' in big letters and i hear lotr dorks and weebs in the distance blaring their lil sirens like MEMORIZE EVERYTHIN#like im juuuuuuuuust not into worldbuilding and magic rules i gotta learn for some new show thats not even that good#and gets all convoluted like ohh woah he activated his trap card which in section 3.5 says that seventen leopards jump out and#immediately kill things that are undead and on fire exclusively but also inflicts a curse on its user so now in thirty jizzing episodes the#ll have a panic attack that triggers the Nineteen Runes of Saturn and like. man. thats nerd shit im not into that#OR its like. ohh siht thats dr dumb from the planet xenorp in episode five point twelve where he committed larceny and NOW hes back#in episode 6789305 to get revenge but jane doe pulls out her goop from episode sixteen where she put together a puzzle in the bg and#like MAN. IM NOT DOIN THAT#the payoff is NOT worth the time invested for me so im just gonna go watch a show that doesnt have a textbook fanbook made for it#anyway me. rambling. always. going back to the art mines where i draw utena and anthy kissing for the upteenth time
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man i really hate playing video games and then accidentally scrolling my mouse over the little weather thing that tells you the news that windows has and seeing my country do yet another bad thing
#princeposting#usa#fuck usa#i dont have a lot of context for this because i swore off looking at upsetting shit for my own sanity#but oh my god this country is so fucking obsessed with war and violence and guns its actually horrible#how about we like. not do that. how about we dont :) how about we put our weapons away#im saying this in a silly way bcus i genuinely dont know what to say other than what the fuck dude#ok i read the article and i still dont get it but what the fuck dude can we just not use airstrikes at all#when do they ever help people#for anyone outside the US i hope you know that every sane person here thinks this shit is stupid#the military and especially the government doesnt speak for us even though they like to act like they do#woahhhhh im getting rlly un-silly about this um um thats out of character#silly silly mr. dumb fuck :3c thats me (there we go)#yahoo yippeeeeeeeeee
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total drama and the quarry connection is so real because ill be seeing people hating on emma mountebank and td23 emma for the most stupid reasons. leave the emmas alone
#both emmas are in a boat of 'my ex is obsessed and he sucks' but one of said emmas takes their dumb idiot bf back#and she is suddenly terrible and awful for doing so? GIRL toxic relationships are real as hell and sometimes u take comfort in what u know#even if everyone says its bad. but its realistic. some people DO get stuck in that cycle!#shoutout to emma mountebank for standing her ground and i hope somebody td emma can do the same but. god damn#why do people think she's the worst of the new cast????#shes valid in her anger at chase and even if shes dumb as hell to take him back i dont see it lasting#even the writing has all the characters going 'oh hell no'#she'll find her path im POSITIVE.
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fh fandom back to wishing death on a fictional teenager for being mentally ill and not learning how to cope with that in a healthy way. what else is new
#do i think klck is correct? no#do i think a fandom full of grown adults should stop holding this (manipulated) (not sound of mind) teenager to wack standards? ya#like.... some of you are... how do i say this.... ~projecting~#and dont get me wrong this isnt me trying to say shes some kind of innocent misunderstood blorbo 🥺🥺🥺#i think shes a freak and a cunt. but im going to be normal about it and NOT say that she deserves to be killed (????)#pre-overtaking she was clearly aware that her behavior wasn't healthy#the fact she even went to jawbone at all (and was honest with him!) proves that imo#personally i feel like she might be neurodivergent -> struggling with knowing which rules to break and which ones to not#we literally JUST had an episode where the principal of AAA told students to their face that studying and working hard is dumb#i think kipperlilly came to aguefort. couldn't get a grip on what they Actually wanted from her#(parents went to mumple. she couldnt have been prepared for aguefort)#and out of frustration she fixated on people who were doing well and compared herself to them#and the only major surface difference she could find? tragic backstories#it only makes sense that she'd assume that THAT is what was missing. her inability to adapt to AAA was out of her control#so instead of blaming smth abstract (neurodivergence/other mental illness)#this single. concrete. and obvious difference is way easier to latch on to#but yeah. imo she just reads as someone super neurodivergent who received No Help because she 'made do'#and when thrown into a situation that required a skillset she wasn't born with. she shut down and got defensive#noone is born wanting to die yadda yadda#i think it's very interesting that when jawbone turned the question around on her (asking what SHE could do to get better)#she got quiet and awkward#its almost like she was trying her best? and just couldn't figure out where to go next?#and OH would you look at that. jace offering her a trip to the mountains of chaos. for a ~super dangerous adventure~#🙄#anyway.#awfully convenient. isn't it.#this has been me. having takes on ms goldendoodle shibainu#goodnight everyone (its noon)#not tagging this out of fear of the *** stans out there who will not stop taking things personally
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I talk a lot about how different fanon!Helia is from canon!Helia but not enough but how bad it is for all the characters.
Like you have Riven going from this insecure teenage boy who lashes out at anyone who challenges him to this suave bad boy who could kill the winx. People seeing Stella as a stuck up brat, thinking that she loves Bloom more than the other winx, or that she would ever choose to be selfish in ways that hurt the other characters. Or Flora going from this fairly confident young girl who loves to meet new people and hangout with others to an introverted shy mess who never speaks up and would never say something sarcastic. Not to sound like a bitch but I really do think it's time the fandom stops pretending we're better than other fandoms and don't have Fanon Versions because we do and it's messing with y'alls perception of canon so fucking bad
#theres a time and place for fanon and its not pretending that fanon IS canon#and like listen#there's a big difference between having headcanons and fanonizing a character so badly that theyre basically a different character#im not saying its Bad to have headcanons or to disagree with canon#everyone does that its normal and healthy for fandoms#that sounded SO online good god#but also recognizing that your headcanons are Just headcanons is also necessary?#and recognizing that sometimes headcanons have been disproven by canon or aren't backed up at all#and not acting like your fanon version Is canon or is better than canon?#like genuinely think some of you dont even like canon winx and you just like the fanon versions of them in your head#like no sorry but flora isnt the fumbling shy mess who can't even speak to the others#stella isnt the dumb selfish princess who can't fight and wouldn't protect her friends#aisha isn't the Super Independent Woman who hates all men (also a very racist trope)#musa isnt that I Hate Everyone bitch who would dropkick the winx and physically abuse riven#i could go on and on like im sorry but the fanon versions of them are So Bad rn its so weird to me#like... fanon has always existed but i dont think its ever been this bad? usually Extreme Fanon only happened when someone hated a characte#like people usually only mischaracterize them when they Hate them but now im seeing people who Love them do it#i dont understand what happened why has fanon gotten so bad recently??#also Im Sorry if any of this sounds targeted or extra bitchy i promise im not talking about anyone specific and im not Trying to be mean#i just really hate going into a character tag and seeing post after post of people going 'riven would kill sky if he got the chance'#and i dont mean the clearly joke posts i mean the Very Genuine Headcanon posts like what the FUCK are you people talking about#i genuinely think some of you got your degrees from the fanon university instead of the canon uni#please rewatch the entire first three seasons at your earliest convenience or your degree will be revoked#ajhdglagd#like not to sound mean but i think there was an influx of people who only vaguely remembered the show and got the rest of their info#from random tumblr posts instead of yknow. the actual show#oh i am very complainy today time to do something more productive and less chronically online
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#listen. im just gonna rant abt something real dumb for a sec#the framing of missing 411 stories make me so annoyed. and if u dont kno. missing 411 stories are focused on ppl who went missing in#national parks or just out in nature with no real explanation. i dont even kno why i watch these videos they just make me mad#theyre not all bad but like mother fucker do u not kno how easy it is to get lost in thr fucking woods?#theyre like: this person was an experienced hiker. they wouldnt have just done X#like no. fuck off. it only takes one bad move. one bad day. one unexpected run in and boom that's it#its not that crazy???? its not magic or bigfoot. its ppl getting confused or disoriented and panicking#i mean. obvously not in every case but fucking im like 99% sure its not spooky stuff. its just easier than youd like to think to get lost#my little sister got lost in the woods when she was like 6. she took a wrong turn on a hiking path and walked so far my dad almost turned#back bc he thought she would never get that far but there she was. one tiny blip in a big big forest and she was on a path#its so so easy to miss one tiny point out there. this also goes for places out in the desert#like sure its flat. how could a person get lost in an open space? but no fuck u. ive gotten lost walking along a 50m flat transect#i looked up and for about a minute i wasnt where i thought i was. the heat and not drinking or eating enough can really mess with you head#ugh. i dunno. one of my lab mates has done more like serious outdoors stuff. like not going back to civilization for weeks doing field#work out in Colorado. and he says there is something weird about being alone out there. like some places have a call to them. a temptation#compelling you to do things u kno r bad ideas. but i also pressed him and it seems to come from a lack of othet ppl watching you#like a lack of socal constraint enables the temptation to make reckless choices. so like i dunno it sounds more like a human thing#than the supernatural but like what do i kno? anyway. missing 411 stories make me man#mad. god. there was one i watched where the guys were like. hm they seem to happen around weird places like swamps. or around bad weather#events. so maybe these places or events cause disappearances to happen. like fucking no! do u hear what ur saying?????#the disappearences occure around places that are objectively difficult to search under conditions that delay search effort????? is ur brain#broken? the bad conditions make it hard to find ppl so u find less ppl and theyre marked as missing. jesus christ#anyway. its baffling to me. but i keep watching thr videos. probably bc i have nightmares about running into wild animals out in the woods#so im searching for like. god what not to do if i get lost in the woods. when what i shoukd do is watch survival videos rip#unrelated#ugh. also ive done some work in a national park where u would think its super super hard to get lost but our fieldwork got delayed bc ppl#had to go do search and rescue and the person was dead by the time they were found. i dont kno the details but like its a thing that#happens. its not that crazy#not to mention all the dumb fucks who fall of the cliffs every year down where i grew up. every fucking year. it happened to one of our#neighbors. he was at the bottom of this cliff for a whole day and survived. i dunno bad things happen everyday. u r not immune
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