#anything even close to that ballpark is what we want

[sophiethewitch1]

me and what we want are going through a lovers spat rn because i desperately want to write more for it but i constantly feel like shit so its really getting in the way of our relationship. also if youve sent me any asks that i havent responded to i am geniunely so sorry about it i am in the trenches right now

[hotheadedhero]

Think You're Cute

'Like 'em Big Series'

AN: I have so many stories to write but I had to do this. Blaming being sick, m'kay? Fever has got me bad and these meds got me loopy. Thinking we need some good, silly fun in our lives, right? Plus, now that I've watched Rise, I'm hungry for some big Raph appreciation. I know I ain't the only one

Part 2

All characters are aged up

Raphael x Reader

Warnings: near peril, easily smitten, possible errors due to fever (what kind of fever is up for deliberation🥴)

Cutting right to the chase. You like big dudes. That doesn't necessarily mean muscles, either. You just love you a big man - someone with a bit of something-something to them. More to love, you know? Given your track record with the greater world, it shouldn't be all that much of a mystery. Cats? Get yourself a tiger that you can cuddle into. Jumpers? Comfort central, baby. Beds? If you can't spread eagle then you see no point. The old-age saying does declare that the bigger the better, so who are you to disagree? How true that is may be up for debate but it’s merely as simple as understanding what your preferences are.

However, this makes dating a difficult ballpark to play in. No matter how tall, jacked, or voluptuous someone is, it never feels like enough. Human biology and genetics can only go so far in the conceivably possible sense. You just want to be absolutely engulfed when you get a hug. Is that such a crime? Apparently, it is. Unfortunately, you also seem to come across the worst jerks when you attempt to date within this set of criteria. One might argue it's your karmic justice for being so superficial and picky but a woman has needs. Not those kinds of needs, either. Get your head out of the gutter.

All hope seems lost and after yet again, another failed date, you decide to call it in for the evening and make your way home. A fresh failure and another wonderful outfit gone to waste. By no means is it anything flashy but you put a lot of work into it: pencil skirt, turtle neck sweater, and a nice pair of boots to compliment the look. The whole shebang! All of that effort for nothing. This is the last time you spend three hours doing your hair and makeup. Block after block, your feet grow heavier with every step. What you would give to come across a mountain-like man you can climb who is also a kindred spirit. Perhaps this dream guy will forever be that - a dream. Men like that don't just fall out of the sky.

"Look out!!"

The sudden shout almost scares you into tripping over and you look behind yourself, wishing you hadn’t. Two very large, very dangerous-looking figures entangled in battle, those of which are approaching your helpless little self. You quickly duck as the giants hurdle over you. One falls on its side whilst the other claws and skids against the ground, regaining its balance. It shakes its head and locks onto you, a guttural snarl rumbling past its jowls. Such a creature is surely from the stuff of nightmares. An indescribable nightmare whose sights are set on you. The smart option would be running away but it's as though your shoes have melted into the pavement. Pawing into the tarmac, the beastly thing growls and lunges for you. Great. This is how you die: torn limb from limb by a demon dog. Well, assuming your clothes join you, at least you’ll look like a total babe in the afterlife.

"Oh no ya’ don't," the other one yells from behind the predator, grabbing it by its tail. “Pretty ladies are not food!”

With a mighty tug, he pulls it back and swings it as far away from you as possible. You release a shaky breath, legs trembling beneath you. That was far too close for comfort. The fight isn’t quite over, however. Just as it approaches him, the green goliath swivels on his feet, full 180, and whacks the creature's jaw with a closed fist. His speed alone has you in awe but the force is astounding, practically earth-shattering. It completely knocks the air around you and pushes you onto your backside.

When the dust clears, the first thing you see is your saviour panting, his spiky shell(?) pointed towards you. Just past him in the distance, you notice three more figures in blue, purple, and orange taking a closer look at the unconscious tyrant. You swear one of them pokes at it with a stick. Witnessing strange beings such as this isn't entirely new. Anyone who's watched Chateau Pretenche knows about the celebrity chef turning into a grotesque pigman. To describe it in one word? Horrifying. It's just whether people choose to believe it genuinely happened or if these bizarre entities exist. Being up close and personally observing it now puts your scepticism in check.

As the humanoid turtle calms, he turns to face you, recapturing your attention. A red mask sits over his eyes and there’s a noticeable snaggle tooth poking past his upper lip. Typically, the prerogative is keeping out of sight but it’s much too late for that. He gradually advances towards you. You watch him warily and he keeps his movements slow for that very reason. It wouldn’t be a shock if you were to try and make an escape. He wouldn’t blame you. Currently, all he wants to do is make sure you weren’t hurt during that fiasco provided you don’t suddenly come out of your bewilderment and run off. You have good reason to but he just saved you. Either that or he’s as ravenous as that beast and wants you all to himself. The irrational conclusion remains as such - irrational - when he descends to one knee and outstretches a hand. There’s an irrefutable kindness in his eyes; a caring nature that can’t be replicated in the face of savage brutes.

"You okay?" he asks.

You continue to gawk without a word but, bit by bit, you reach out for his offer. Your fingers lightly trace the centre of his palm before comfortably trusting the proposal. His hand engulfs yours completely and Raph hopes to mercy that you don’t realise how sweaty he’s getting. He can feel his heart beating like crazy. He wonders how much of that is the adrenaline from the fight and how much of it is being in the presence of such a beautiful gal. As he helps you to your feet, he rises to his own. Someone of his stature shouldn’t be capable of being this delicate but he is. It has you running through a loop and you unintentionally stare at the remarkable behemoth.

Quite pathetically, you nod, unable to verbally respond to his question. How can you? You are effectively starstruck. Once you gloss over the turtle-y features, all you see is the sheer size of him as he towers over you. Height, width, the magnitude of those arms! All of it is glorious. You can hear the universe asking, “You want a big man, huh? How about one who isn’t human?” to which you answer, “Who gives a damn?”. If the only way a man can be this big is not to be human, so be it.

Amidst a whisper, your mouth moves on its own, "You're beautiful."

"What?"

"Huh?" Blinking out of your trance, you realise what you’ve said and giggle sheepishly, "I mean, you're be... ba... booming! Totally awesome with the whole- uh... saving thing." Nailed it. 

He blinks right back down at you. This is certainly a first. He can feel his face heating up and he withdraws his hand lest you endure the wrath of his bashfulness, opting to hold the back of his head. At this moment, he seems to look anywhere but you.

"Heh. Gee, thanks." His humility is adorable and you’re glad he doesn’t question your initial statement. He turns to you once more, regaining some composure. "You sure you're okay, though? That thing was pretty scary looking."

It’s clear that you haven’t sustained any physical injuries but even bearing witness to something so unsightly can have lasting effects on one's mind. His brows furrow gently in concern down at you and it occurs to you that there’s a soft heart under all of that shell and muscle. Bonus points. This makes you smile for the first time in front of him and Raphael is sure that the streetlights got brighter.

You laugh fondly, “Yeah, I’m okay. Thank you.” Twiddling your fingers, your lips purse up in his direction.  “Is there any way I can repay you?”

He places his hands on his hips and chuckles cutely, “Just doing my duty, ma’am.”

He may be indulging in his alter ego - the Red Angel of Preventing Harm - but it’s not every day he gets paid thanks when he saves someone. It’s also not every day he gets to save such a pretty woman, either. You, however, can’t just leave it at that. There must be some way in which you can properly thank him. Ulterior motives include getting to know this already loveable lug better but shh. It feels like the odds are finally turning in your favour and you won’t let this slip away from your grasp. That’s when it hits you.

Muttering under your breath, you erratically search through the confines of your little handbag. You are certain that you had one in here somewhere. In the spare pocket maybe? Ah! Found it. Fumbling to take the lid off of your pen, you hold out your hand, gesturing for his. He slowly complies, to which you jot down a series of digits on his palm accompanied by your name and a tiny 'x'. 

"Gimme a text sometime," is the last thing he hears before you disappear around a corner.

Oh? Oh. Ohhh. Wow. Getting your number is the last thing he expected. Did he get hit on the head during that scuffle or something? Was everything from the last few minutes a dream? He bores holes into the writing on his skin, scanning it over and over, scared that it’ll disappear if he so much as blinks. A dumb, wobbly smile not so gracefully decorates his lips as he trudges back to the turtle tank. He takes his seat but it’s obvious that he isn’t all there. Being so caught up in his rose-tinted bubble, he doesn’t register his brothers' voices. In an effort to gain his attention, Michelangelo jumps onto his shoulder, partly intrigued by what their leader is so absorbed by.

"Oh me gosh!” the young brother screams in shrill excitement, “Raph's in love!"

Careful not to smudge the neat ink, he’s quick to hide his hand against his chest. "That's crazy talk!”

Donatello sniffs the air and mockingly covers his nose. "The overwhelming manifestation of your nervous stink indicates otherwise, dear brother."

"I got a girl’s number!” he continues to defend, feeling his face go all kinds of red. “'Course, I'm nervous but that don’t mean I’m in love."

Lies and slander. It was practically love at first sight. He just doesn’t like the idea of his brothers knowing that. It’s easy pickings to be made fun of.

"Don't worry, Big Red. Lucky for you, you got a guy who knows all about the charm." Leonardo points both thumbs at himself as he falls back into his seat and props his legs up on the dashboard. "First, you just need to..."

The "helpful" advice drowns out as the large snapper opens and gazes at his palm again. He just can't comprehend how a gorgeous individual such as yourself could take one look at him and give him your number. It's puzzling but he supposes there’s a first for everything? That also doesn't mean he won't text you. The only thing getting in the way of that is fear. Raphael thinks he’d rather go toe-to-toe with that mutant dog again than have to face the risk of embarrassing himself. To anyone who knows him, it’s no surprise that he caves under pressure. No. He will do it! A chance like this is one in a million.

Oh boy. What could possibly go wrong?

[fcthots]

jason x depressed!reader with "Do you want me to wash your hair?"

You're in your bed, trying to take a nap. You were exhausted, but couldn't fall asleep, and even if you did, it wouldn't go away. Picking up your phone and seeing all the missed texts and calls made it worse. The tv was on some show that you used to love, but now it was just pissing you off. Sleep wouldn't come and everything was making you upset or angry, but you also felt numb. Everything was stupid and you felt trapped in your own head.

Until you heard the door open.

You weren't worried about it being an intruder or anything. Jason made sure your apartment was equipped with oracle approved safety measures when you moved in, but that meant that there were very few people it could be.

You don’t move from your spot, only your eyes and greasy hair peeking out from the blankets. Maybe you didn’t have the energy to get up and run to the bathroom to get ready, but that doesn’t mean you particularly liked anyone seeing you this vulnerable.

He gently opens your bedroom door. The lights are off so he can't tell right away if you're awake or not. He squints until he spots your eyes watching him. He sighs.

His footsteps feel louder than they are. You avert your gaze from his and instead focus your eyes onto his feet walking closer to you.

When he finally makes it to his destination, he doesn't look at you right away. "I'm gonna turn on the lamp."

You shut your eyes and reopen them after you hear the click of the lamp. You squint at Jason's feet again.

His voice holds no judgment or accusation. "Why weren't you answering your phone?"

You want to respond, you do, but you have no excuse to offer him. Your mouth feels heavy with the weight of your guilt. You worried him. He has other things to do and now he's checking on you because you wouldn't pick up the fucking phone and send one text message. And why? Because it was too stressful for you?

He lightly peels the covers back from your face.

"Come back to me. Don't lock yourself up in there. I'm not mad. You didn't do anything wrong. Stop trying to punish yourself."

You finally look at his face in order to squint at him in faux offense. He knows you too well.

He trails his thumb gently up and down your arm. "You good to answer questions?"

You think about it for a minute and nod, despite the fact that you don't exactly feel like like answering questions, afraid of what they will be, but this is Jason after all. He's always mindful of your limits. The hand stills.

"Cool. Do you know how many days it's been since this started? Ballpark?"

You avert your eyes. You feel shameful for not telling him when it started, knowing he asked you to tell him when it happens.

He starts trailing his thumb again. "Try and stay out your head for me. I promise I'm not mad, I'm just trying to figure out how bad the episode is."

You sigh. "Three?" Your voice comes out cracked from disuse.

He watches his hand move against your arm. "Close enough, although I think it may have been 4 days, maybe 5."

You grunt in acknowledgement.

He sighs, not out of exasperation, but in thought. "Do you want me to wash your hair? Like in the sink."

"No. The rest of me is gross too, I don't wanna wash just my hair."

"Well do you feel up to a full shower?"

You feel like you want to cry, but you won't. "No...but I don't want to just wash one part. I don't wanna use all the energy I have left only to get one thing done, but I don't have energy for the rest."

He softly brings his hand to your face. His thumb trails over your cheekbone. "That sounds overwhelming" after a beat, "and exhausting."

You groan and try to hide yourself under the covers, dislodging his hand.

He peels the covers back again. His voice holds sincerity. "How about I give you a bath then? You don't have to do any of the work. I'll do everything. How's that? Sound good?"

You take a moment before tentatively nodding your head.

Jason takes his time helping you up. He supports most of your weight which seems silly because you can technically walk just fine, but you don't pull away all the same. His arm feels warm around your waist as you walk.

"I'll make you something to eat after you get out, assuming you haven't eaten in a while." He's right. You nod. Something eats away at you.

Your steps get slower as you feel heavier with guilt. "You know it won't fix me, right? None of it can." You don't look him in the eyes as you speak.

You watch the furrow of his brows from the corner of your vision. He stops walking so he can look you in the eyes. "I don’t care. I don't care if I have to do this every day for months at a time. I don't care if I have to cook every single meal for you. I'll do all of it and more because I care about you."

"I'm already too much of a burden, I won't allow you too do that for me"

"But you can't make yourself do it right now so what's the plan? To rot away? No. Not happening. You are not a burden. I want to help you. Let me help you."

For him, you'd do anything.

[oh-no-its-bird]

Madara as Regina Mills and the Infinite Tsukuyomi as his curse, season 1 of Once Upon a Time style

Tobirama as Emma, coming in to break the curse, and Hashirama kind of filling the roll of Snow White, the brothers unable to recognize or remember each other but feeling each other's loss all the same (which in itself is kind of the greatest punishment for Izuna's death that Madara could give, save for actually killing one of them)

Maybe Kagami as Henry? Him somehow breaking through the curse and finding Tobirama and trying to bring him back to the little town of Konoha, knowing he's one of the only people who can get through to Madara. But also Tobirama doesnt remember anything anyways, so to him he's just humoring this kid

Ok actually scratch, rewind, lets take this from the top;

Ok so. Madara casts the Infinite Tsukuyomi, but instead of it being a dream it casts Konoha into the modern world, where everyone is given some role to fill in the little town of Konoha, and only Madara remembers how they all got there.

Madara sets some stuff up, like gives certain people certain roles and memories, and also bc something something magic something something the perfect dream, within the bounds of the town, Izuna + some other dead people exist. Madara isn't especially focused on the other dead, just Izuna, so he actually is partially unaware of the details of who else may have gotten revived (Itama is totally there somewhere, lost in the crowds)

Now, Madara did not truly design this town, nor the lives of the people in it. He could have, but he didn't bc he was a bit focused on just his own wants. So a lot of families got separated, things got mixed up, that sort of thing. Including the Senju brothers. Hashirama and Itama have no idea that they're siblings, and Tobirama is another ballpark all on his own.

You see, in a bit of a petty act and also a bit of paranoia bc 'something something best sensor in history' something something 'dont wanna take any chances' and also definitely a bit of last minute impulsive 'hey fuck you, I get my brother back but you dont, bitch' Madara pressed the "you are just a normal man who has no family" illusion onto Tobirama then kicked him out of town

With that said and done, Izuna by his side, Hashirama also positioned suitably close (maybe as an aid since he's Madara is the mayor?) Madara goes ahead and pats himself on the back and enters the Infinite Tsukuyomi himself, forgetting it all and able to truly live that happy, blissfully unaware life he had worked so hard for.

(Just ignore the burning fires in the background where Madara didn't think to double check if anyone else's roles lined up well with their original selves. Or the fact that Itama and some other dead people are totally wandering around in the bg, both them, their families, and even Madara none the wiser)

So anyways, just like in Once Upon a Time, time itself is pretty much frozen. No one ages, every day runs about the same, and honestly who knows how long this town has been here now-- because its residents sure as hell dont!

But then.

One day, somehow little Kagami somehow awakens the Mangekyō Sharingan, possibly through a pure chance fluke of the illusion wavering for unrelated reasons (bc it also supresses any chakra use) and Kagami's mangekyō's ability, whatever tf it is, allows him to break himself out of the genjutsu.

Making him now the only person in the town who's aware of the fact that they're all in some sort of illusion-- though the details escape him bc hes like. 13 and didn't know everything happening behind the scenes.

Oh also note, the ages and time frame of this is just all over the place and we will not think ab it too hard.

So Kagami ofc begins to investigate, he has very little idea of whats going on at all but he does quickly pick up on the fact that he can find just about anyone in Konoha here-- but not his sensei. And Sensei always knows what to do, so now he has a mission

Queue Kagami somehow tracking Tobirama down in the outside world, just like Henry did with Emma. Don't know the specifics of how tho!

So now cut to Tobirama:

First off, him as a parallel to Emma Swan is actually so good its kind of funny. I say he gets to keep being somehow able to 'know when someone is lying' (it's the traces of his obnoxiously powerful sensing abilities leaking even through the best of genjutsu)

He's some kind of private detective maybe? Idk but whatever he is, he's freelance and travels a lot

(Which helps keep attention from the fact that he, even removed from the town, does not seem to age-- something even he himself has not noticed)

So Tobirama is just living his kind of shitty, honestly a little depressing life. He has no attachments; He always feels like he's missing something or someone; He can never seem to connect with anyone, and people even seem to forget he exists when he's out of sight for too long (almost as if they're made to forget, as if he really was never meant to be here or be seen)

And then one day this tiny kid is banging on his door calling him Sensei and begging him in tears to come back to the village because everyones gone crazy and someones cast a genjutsu over EVERYONE and Izuna is somehow alive again and--

Woah woah slow down. First, who the fuck are you actually.

*insert stressed Kagami brain car crash noises here*

So yeah !! Tobirama doesn't know who tf this kid is, but he will drive him back to town and give his parents a good talking to.

Hikaku, Kagami's polite and stressed looking uncle, is very relieved to see him back home

Kagami is literally begging Tobirama to stay it's actually painful to watch and no one can understand why he's so fucking pressed about it. And for some reason, Tobirama decides to stay. But only for a little bit, you hear?

(It will not be for a little bit.)

And just like that, the clock tower begins to move, and time begins to pass once more. And both Kagami and Tobirama slowly piece together what exactly happened to get them here, and how the town might be broken out of it's enchantment

OK SO WITH THAT SET UP / PREMISE ON THE GROUND LETS TALK FUN DETAILS

So like. Tobirama and Hashirama having no idea they're brothers. Double to that, Itama is somewhere around! And no one fucking knows it!

Madara does not know what he's done, he is living his best life fr fr, but in contrast to how Hashirama and Tobirama seem to instantly click, Madara just kind of fucking hates this guy on sight for some reason. There's a lot of tension there and everyone in the office is making bets on if they're gonna kiss (Izuna has money riding on it)

So like Madara, Izuna, Hikaku and Hashirama running the mayors office n stuff, with Madara as the mayor

Tobirama eventually ends up as Sherrif just like Emma which is also irony bc smthn smthn Uchiha police force agenda or whatever. And then him and Madara regularly get into very public fights over clashing ideals

Im tied between saying that the timeline for this is like, just wishy washy "hey dont worry ab it" and tossing in Kakashi's generation + others for fun and to fill in spaces

Or saying that just like how the Infinite Tsukuyomi seemed to bring some people back to life within the boundaries of the town, there are some legit time bending aspects of it, and just like how we have people who are supposed to be dead, we also have people who just shouldn't be born yet. Fun stuff!

But like Kakashi Obito and Rin are totally around. Somwhere. Also Sakumo but Kakashi still believes his father is dead and Sakumo can no longer remember Kakashi exists (rip)

Itama is the towns one weed dealer and also a plant scientist bc I fucking refuse to give up on the stoner Itama agenda, that is my default Itama in every AU now. Oh also he's like an adult, and we're also sticking with the him and Tobirama being twins agenda

He and Tobirama meeting for the first time with sheriff Tobirama arresting him for selling weed pass would be the funniest thing

Touka is the deputy sheriff and she and Tobirama get along like a house on fire, and then bc convoluted reasons they somehow rope Itama into working w them for parole/community service or smthn. Dream team!!

But yeah thats it thats the post thanks for listening Im gonna go stare at a wall now

[daistea]

i have a very unsubstantiated suspicion that mithrun was young, around 80s, when he got drafted to the canaries

1. we know pattadol is that age and that's legal age, implying that they take anyone who reaches the age of majority - possibly even younger given that pattadol is a middle child and still wondered why she was the one chosen out of the three. she never mentions her younger sister being too young or anything. but I think we can still take 80 as a ballpark estimate

2. going with 80 as an estimate, I think it's interesting that the three guards with canon ages from mithrun's generation of the draft are all so close to being the same age (mithrun, milsiril, flamela). we know elves have a pretty low birth rate and very long lifespans. what's the chance that three from the same draft happened to be the same age, unless they all reached the age requirement around the same time and got sent off? (side note: flamela wasn't drafted, she joined willingly but she seems to be from that generation since she replaced milsiril as vice captain. if her twin sister died very young and she joined as soon as she could, she probably had to wait for age eligibility as well)

3. the pre dungeon shenanigans with mithrun and milsiril? so NOT 30 year old behavior. that is high school mean girl clique bullshit. either they were young when all of that happened or they never grew up properly from the stress of getting sent away young

i don't know if i'm being subconsciously influenced by how the military works where I live, which is that mandatory service starts the year you turn 18 (or 19 depending on what type of school you go to), but in my brain they all join up fairly young

I think for Pattadol at least, it’s implied that her parents sent her instead of her older or younger sister just to get rid of her LOL

If Mithrun joined around 80, then became a dungeon lord around 140-ish, that would mean he’d have been a canary for 60 years. Time moves differently for elves so I mean 60 years in the canaries may only feel like a decade or two to him?? And even then like a decade prob isn’t a large amount of time for elves either.

I want to agree because why wouldn’t the canaries draft Mithrun right as he turned 18? Why would they wait until he was older? He didn’t join willingly. However….

Pattadol’s thing implies that it wasn’t a ‘this noble family’s child is 80 now lol!! Time For War’ but rather a ‘hey send us one of your kids, we don’t care which one’ kinda situation

The manga mentions that he had to join in his brother’s place, and most of the nobility are presented by their families as a show of loyalty. Sooo his parents were all ‘let’s send the bastard child instead lol’

But he also was sent instead because his brother was so frail. It’s a mix of those two factors i believe. Both his parents being dicks and his brother being too weak.

ANYWAY it makes sense for him to be drafted/volunteered right as he turned 80. So it’s completely possible! But it’s also hard for me to imagine him being in the canaries for so long before becoming a dungeon lord…. If he’d been a canary for that long wouldn’t he know what a demon is and the dangers of becoming a dungeon lord? Or was he just too far gone and too arrogant and too overcome with emotion to care at the time?

Idk 🤷‍♀️

Love u patty, queen of coping

[synchodai]

HotD Episode 7 Live Reaction

But if you close your eyes, does it always feel like nothing's changed at all. But at least there be dragons.

I stiil don't like that Seasmoke fell in Addam's lap. Addam should have been the one to actively claim Seasmoke. I just really don't like HBO's insistence on "power is better wielded by those who don't want it."

"I may appear lowborn but I know much and more of service." Those two statements shouldn't have a "but" between them.

Maester Orwyle continues to be the surprise MVP of the greens.

The Master of Laws Iron Rod getting dialogue? The rumor mill works fast in Westeros.

I like that the nobility are putting so much resistance to lowborn claiming dragons. If there's anything that threatens highborn, it's social mobility.

For "20 years the lords of this realm levied insults against my sons," Jace confirmed to be 20. So he's just one year younger than Aegon? Now that wouldn't make sense because Rhaenyra wasn't even married during Aegon's first nameday during that hunt episode. Good to know Jace has been aged up though. He, Aegon, and Cregan are probably all in the same ballpark age.

I love Addam's acting, he's almost as expressive as TGC. But why are the interaction scenes on this show so short? "The family doesn't know how to communicate their feelings" yeah, yeah, but at least write down for them to have SOMETHING to say. Corlys came to this room literally just to say 6 words.

They should have given Oscar Tully red hair to make him stand out from the Riverlords. The scales on his armor are cool, but there should be more to visually signal that this kid is basically a petty king.

The camera following it's actors from the back is kinda...not doing it for me. I don't wanna see their hunched backs, I want to look at the sets and their faces.

"We honor the old ways." Most of y'all don't, though? Only certain houses in the Riverlands worship the Old Gods, one of them being the Blackwoods who are being accused of going against the "old ways." What do the HBO writers think the "old ways" mean?

Out of all decapitations on this series, this one had the least punch. Music and sound design did all the heavy lifting.

STOP SHOWING THEIR BACKS I DON'T WANNA SEE THE ACTORS' BACKS ANYMORE

Also, I can't imagine how this war will end if the Blackwoods aren't black loyalists. With Daemon executing their House head, I don't see them being that enthusiastic about supporting Rhaenyra anymore. Are they just gonna replace Benjicot with Oscar? And Aly is just...gone now? Who's gonna stop Cregan Stark then?

Again, we're just letting whoever inside the king's room even when he says they can't come in? Guards really suck on this show.

Alyn's voice is like honey. I could listen to this man read audio books.

And they just let the Targaryen princess run off like that? The guards on this show really suuuuuuuuck.

Poor Rickard Thorne dragged into Alicent's impromptu camping trip.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEY JACE, LOVE CLASSIST JACE. LOVE AEGON'S DREAM CRITICAL JACE. EEEEEY JACE AWARE THAT WHEN RHAENYRA DIES PEOPLE WON'T ACCEPT HIM. LOVE LOVE LOVE IT. Finally some character drama and juicy interpersonal conflict that makes sense with characters clearly stating their stance through dialogue and we don't have to fill in the blanks as the audience. I was so starved. They actually made what was in the book better with this one.

I like Hugh the Hammer's new storyline, sue me. It's a cliche call-to-adventure fantasy peg, but I like it.

"I need more dragons to end bloodshed." Rhaenyra, what do you think dragons do? Rhaenyraaaaaaa

Beautiful Vermithor shot. And of course they leave all these innocent poor people to the mercy of a merciless behemoth. Ugh, beautiful, blood sacrifice, cruelty, impressive sfx, yessss.

CLAIM THAT DRAGON. CLAIM THAT DRAGON. DO IT NAMED CHARACTER, you have a name and backstory so you can do it!

"Come on!!!" Vermithor: Well...when you put it like that, I suppose.

Nana Silverwing! She looks gorgeous.

WAIT, WHY DID THEY TAKE HER TO KING'S LANDING??? WHY IS KL AND DRAGONSTONE LITERALLY 5 MINUTES AWAY

[todorroki]

Love Sea ep 6 thoughts

the way this show loves to go from backstory → sweetness → [fire emoji x10] should be studied fr

this post is gonna be mega scattered thoughts sorry

i did NOT notice until this episode, but tongrak lives by water which is so fitting.

i know we're trauma dumping in the first 10 minutes, but can i just appreciate the lighting in this scene. again, i don't know a single thing about cinematography, but like the warm glow behind mut and the cool tones of rak's shot being hit with a subtle warm light. is it intentional? I DONT KNOW!! i don't even know if what i'm saying makes sense LMAO but i feel Something. also plus points for showing peat's beautiful eyes. i love seeing them in the light.

and the cuddle scene in bed after this is so chef's kiss. I TOO WANT TO LAY ON FORT'S WARM CHEST!!!!!!

tongrak's mannerisms are so cute like the snuggling, the pouting, etc. i think peat accentuates that so well too (or am i being biased again idk idc)

please this part...... UUUUOOOOGGGGHHHH mut holding rak's hands down, the slow build up to kiss, rak with his tongue out ready to go..... fortpeat know how to dial it up!!!!! their tension is crazy

also thank u for the thighs. i love thighs. fort's thighs in those jeans. and peat's are always out in this series thanks to the short shorts.. brain food.

i want khom's green fit so bad like THE PASTEL and my favorite color. i'm wondering if we'll get to see connor at all besides his voice. in the novel, he shows up with khom during this part.

i'm glad we're getting to see more of rak and vi's friendship. i feel like there's been a lack of that so far so this short scene is good to solidify their closeness. also the way peat smushes his face against the pillow here is SOO cute. he plays cute pouty kitten characters so well.

also vimook... THEY'RE SO UNSERIOUS!!!!!!!! PLEASE mame what is ur plan for them bc i am literally the mf crying emoji seeing their progression. the show is already deviating from the novel (they have extra scenes in the series iirc) so i don't know what to expect.

BRING HIM BACK TO THE WATER!!! HE BELONGS ON THE ISLAND. mut in the city but near water... so close yet so far....

also finally we get meena aka we're truly starting the conflict of this story. i really have to praise nina. fortpeat have said before she's good, but i've never watched anything she's in so i didn't know but yes. she is GOOD. kid/young teen characters can be super hit or miss and i think nina hits it out of the ballpark. she's VERY natural and comfortable with her line delivery and expressions.

i think one of peat's strongest points as an actor is his display for yearning. he's so ridiculously good at internal panic.

also how can i NOT mention the face-fucking nc at the end!!! after getting interrupted twice (once last ep and during the mid-way point of this ep) i was like we have to get Something right? AND WE DID RAAAH I LOVE WINNING!!!!! love sea truly does make me feel like im constantly winning in the nc department.

SHOUTOUT TO PEAT ACTING A CUTIE (and leg... i love leg)

anyways i will be gushing abt fp for a second here LIKE OOH MY GOD THEY ARE JUST SOO SOFT TOGETHER LIKE

DOMESTICITY!!!!!!!!!!!!! ROMANCE!!!!!!!!!!!! COMFORT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY CAN DO IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE GET THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

idk if mmy will have anything for them after this (i think they hinted at SOMETHING but it's most likely not a series) but i need some casting person out there to see them and be like "YES FUCK WE'RE HIRING" LIKE IM GONNA NEED MORE AFTER THIS SERIES PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE the way they fit together..

[researchercase]

A proposition proposed by Ephie to Kieran Woods. Recorded December 3rd, 2024

(Transcript below)

[CLICK]

[A cat meowing can be heard]

KIERAN Yes I heard you, Captain, but I can't cuddle you right now, I'm doing work

[Another meow]

KIERAN You can sit beside me, you're acting as if you're unable to do that when you and I both know you can

[Another meow and a small thud on the coffee table is heard]

KIERAN No, Captain, I'm doing work you can't-

[Kieran stops talking as he notices the tape recorder]

KIERAN [Muttering] How are you back here?

[There's then a knock on the door]

[A pause]

KIERAN [Sigh] This can't be good

[He gets up and opens the door]

KIERAN Can I help you?

EPHIE In a way, yes, you can

KIERAN Now, I don't want to be rude, but I'm assuming you're not a regular person, are you?

EPHIE You are quite the observer, Mr. Woods, what gave it away?

KIERAN The tape recorder that appeared on my coffee table, which hasn't appeared in around two months. I was getting used to the quiet.

EPHIE We both know you of all people can't used to the quiet anymore.

[Pause]

KIERAN … What do you want?

EPHIE [Sincere] I need you to find someone

KIERAN [Caught off guard by Ephie's tone shift] You what?

EPHIE You heard me

KIERAN I did, yeah. It's just weird… This isn't for some ulterior motive? A step in the Web's grand plan?

EPHIE Well anything is a step in the Mother's plan, but the first thing… no, this is not some ulterior motive. I want to help out a friend.

KIERAN I thought Web avatars didn't have actual friends outside of their own group, and even then you're not truly friends with each other

EPHIE Well you're not out of the ballpark on that first part, it is for someone chosen by the Mother. You've met him briefly, one Eric Foster.

KIERAN Him?! The guy who interrogated and partially threatened my friend, and killed his sibling? Why would I help him?

EPHIE Well your fiancé and his wife are friends, and the two of you have something in common.

KIERAN [Scoff] Like what?

EPHIE You're going to be a Father, and he just became one.

[Silence]

EPHIE You may not like Eric, but trust me when I say he didn't mean to kill Sinclair, and you are one of the very few people who don't hold a grudge against him and his family for that

KIERAN Well, me and Sinclair weren't close. We barely talked to each other outside of passing hello's and goodbye's. A-and, wait, you said his family? They had nothing to do with Sinclair's death as far as I know

EPHIE That's true, but it seems one person in particular didn't care about that

KIERAN Who?

EPHIE Lyfrassir Edda

KIERAN Them?!

EPHIE You've heard of them

KIERAN Hard not to. [Sigh] What did they do?

EPHIE They stole Eric and Penelope's new born baby, who is premature might I add.

KIERAN Oh my god… [He briefly places their face into his hands, breathes, and puts his hands down] I'm guessing the baby is who you want me to find

EPHIE Correct, her name is Tahlia.

KIERAN Nice name. How do you expect me to find her and Lyf?

EPHIE I know you Hunters have your ways, and so do I, if the intimidation of a Hunter who is somewhat close to the family doesn't scare them into giving Tahlia back, well, we'll both pay them a visit.

KIERAN Both of us? What are we supposed to do against them, with that weird power and all that they have?

EPHIE Just trust, guilt should hopefully be enough, but lets hope that it doesn't come down to the two of us.

So, what do you say?

KIERAN [A moment of silence then he spoke]… Fine. I haven't been on a good Hunt in a while anyways.

EPHIE Wonderful! I'll put you in contact with Eric. Toodles!

[Ephie walks away and Kieran closes the door]

[He walks back to the couch and sits down]

KIERAN Goodness…

[There's a meow and the Captain jumps onto Kieran's lap]

KIERAN …. [He just sighs as the Captain purrs contently]

[CLICK]

[green-socks]

I Want Your Daddy Too

Pairing: Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell (hangmav) / Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw x Javy 'Coyote' Machado (brachado)

Summary: Jake's best friend and rival get together, and Jake is upset about it. He speaks into existence a threat that he ends up fulfilling, though unknowingly.

Words: 2.1k

Warnings: everyone Jake is being dramatic. Mav is Bradley's dad and I will die on that hill. Also obvs age gap with hangmav.

Notes: I thought of this scenario and got excited. Also I just wanted more Rooster/Coyote content and thought "sure I'll make it myself", but then Jake stole this show and I just always let him do anything he wants. This was meant to be very silly and quick, please don't take me seriously. I'm running with brachado for the ship name for now cause that's in line with floychado and that makes me happy.

Jake was appalled. His best friend in the entire world had betrayed him by getting together with Jake's rival. His mortal enemy. And the bastard was even serious about it.

They had both been deployed, Jake and Javy, on practically opposite sides of the world, so contact had been a little difficult. But they texted each other and ten hours later the other replied, and so on and so forth. Didn't offer the opportunity for many long conversations, but Javy still managed to tell him about a guy he had started getting real close with on the carrier. What Coyote had failed to mention, however, was who that guy was. And that Jake already knew him.

He and Javy had been inseparable ever since they met at the academy. Well, almost. It had taken Jake a while to let Javy fully in, but once he did, he knew Javy would always have his back.

Except with this one thing, apparently.

And to think, Jake had ranted about the idiot all through flight school, and Javy had listened, had agreed with him! Hadn't he?

Well, Jake would probably find out more once he calmed down some. Which might take a while. There were surely worse ways to find out your best friend was sleeping with your rival than walking in on them having sex and seeing way too much bare ass this early in the morning, but Jake couldn't come up with any at the moment.

"Javy, what the fuck! Bradshaw?! Are you fucking kidding me?" Jake yelled, not caring he sounded perhaps a little hysterical.

This was not what he'd had in mind for today. Not even in the ballpark. He had just wanted to spend the day with his bro now that they were both back in the same country. But nooo, fucking Bradshaw somehow had to ruin that too.

"How is this even happening? I thought you hated him too," Jake continued.

"Hey!"

"Shut up, Rooster."

"One, I never hated him. I just kind of let you rant, you know. I actually thought the mustache was hot this whole time–"

Jake made a noise, but Javy silenced him with a sharp look. Rooster looked smug.

"Two, I'm sorry you had to find out this way. I mean it. I wanted to wait until we were face to face to tell you." Javy really did look sorry about that.

"But three, you know how happy I've been these past few months, so please get it out of your system so you can be civil. That goes for both of you," Javy turned to Rooster. "I'm not gonna listen to you two complain about each other anymore."

Sigh. Jake can't very well refuse his best friend like that (though he's sure he'll have a hard time trying to keep his thoughts to himself), and based on the expression on his face, Rooster reluctantly agrees. Huh. Guess they can agree on something.

Jake sucks his lips to his teeth. "Fine, I guess. But Bradshaw, if you steal my best friend away from me, I swear to god I will fuck your dad." By the way both Javy and Rooster flinch, it seems his threat sounded appropriately serious. Good.

"Jake–" Javy starts, but Jake cuts him off.

"Nope, I'm outta here. Javy, call me when you're done and can hang out. Bradshaw… nice ass." And with that Jake takes his leave, giving himself a proper shake as soon as the door closes.

Why is life like this?

-

Thankfully all three of them did not even need to be in the same place together again until they all got called back to TOPGUN for a special detachment. So everything had been surprisingly calm and easy. Jake tolerated Javy talking about Rooster in a positive way these days. Because if he was honest, he really couldn't hate anyone making his best friend that happy. And Javy was so happy it was kind of disgusting.

But at least he got to antagonize Bradshaw in the flesh again. In a friendly-ish manner, of course. He didn't want to make Coyote suffer after all.

And at least there was a goddamn handsome man buying him beers. Well, technically he was buying them for the whole bar per Penny's rules, but Jake liked to think the man's eyes lingered on him more than any others.

If he wasn't on a self-imposed "no dickstractions" policy while training for a special detachment, and if he hadn't had to throw the older man out of the bar, he definitely would have made a move. Might have anyway, his own rules be damned. But there was no damning Penny's rules, so that was that.

Except that it wasn't, because the next day that same man walked in front of the class and smirked at Jake like he was enjoying the fact that Jake was blushing a little in embarrassment. Now he was really really glad he hadn't made a move on the guy. He wasn't looking to get court martialed or anything, and propositioning a CO definitely wasn't the best way to promote career longevity in the Navy.

But damn, Captain Mitchell was hot. The adrenaline of flying always got Jake's engine going, but never before had he been so turned on just from seeing someone else fly.

He'd always been a bit of a teacher's pet, he could admit that, but he also thought he'd gotten past the age of getting crushes on his teachers a long time ago. And yet, here he was. Jake didn't make any moves – he wasn't digging for blood out of his nose like that – but despite all that, in the privacy of his own head, he thought about the Captain a whole hell of a lot. Maybe in the shower. Or in the evening when he was trying to fall asleep. Or on his morning runs. Maybe he made an effort to talk to the man any chance he got. And, alright, maybe he flirted just a tiny bit. It was in his nature! So sue him.

-

In an unexpected turn of events, when Javy went into g-LOC, Jake found himself comforting Rooster and being comforted by him in return. Javy was the most important person in both of their lives, not to mention the added scare of Phoenix and Bob ejecting. Jake still wouldn't call Bradshaw a friend, but maybe they could be. They had to have more in common than either of them would have liked to believe if they were both so close with the same person. Jake would take it to his grave, but he knew that behind the mustache was a pretty solid guy and a surprisingly comforting presence, when he wanted to be.

Maverick also checked in on all three aviators in the hospital, and the Captain's presence calmed Jake down like nothing else could, even though he could see the older man was shaken by everything too.

-

After The Mission, after Jake had flown like hell to get Maverick and Rooster back home, he was buzzing with excess adrenaline and nowhere to put it. He visited the duo in sick bay, celebrated with the others, took a shower, tried some yoga, but nothing could make the pins prickling under his skin stop.

Even after they got back to shore, a weird, uncomfortable feeling persisted, though not as strongly as before. But eventually he ended up seeking out Maverick. Something inside him just yearned for any contact with the man. Maverick had said his door was always open for any of the Daggers, so Jake (not entirely) shamelessly took him up on that offer.

The mission was over, Maverick was no longer their instructor and direct CO. He was still a superior officer, sure, but Jake figured the Captain at least wouldn't punch him now that Jake had saved his life. So Jake decided to shoot his shot.

And Maverick didn't punch him. Instead, after some talking, when Jake kissed him, he kissed back.

-

They had all been given a month of leave after the mission, and three weeks of it had already passed. Jake had spent nearly all of it with Maverick at his hangar, and he couldn't have been happier. The only thing he was missing was his best friend who had taken Rooster with him back home to New Orleans.

Mav had been working on his P-51 all morning while Jake went to do a grocery run and made lunch. After eating they settled down on the couch for a little afternoon nap. The older pilot was still a little sweaty from working, his shirt a little damp, but Jake didn't mind it. He just pressed his face further into Mav's chest and let himself doze off, safe in the strong, warm embrace of his lover. He didn't think he'd ever experienced bliss like this while not in the air.

Until that bliss was most rudely interrupted by none other than Rooster Bradshaw loudly announcing his presence at the hangar.

"What the hell is happening here?" the mustached naptime-hater yelled.

Maverick shot up to a sitting position, making Jake's still sleepy self let out an undignified yelp.

"Seresin, you better not be fucking my dad or I–"

"Your dad?" two voices interrupted the angry growl. One of them was Jake, but who–?

Jake whipped his head to see his very own best friend walking to join them.

"Jake, man, what are you doing here?" Javy asked.

"I was having a lovely nap." He glared at Rooster. "But hold on, back up, what do you mean dad? I thought your dad was…"

Jake and Javy had both seen the picture of LTJG Bradshaw. What he did with that information was not something Jake was proud of, but rest assured he would always remember. 

Rooster sighed deeply. "My father, Nick Bradshaw, is dead, yes. My adoptive dad, the man who raised me and who became my legal guardian after my mom died, is sitting on that couch."

They all turned to look at Maverick, who in turn was looking at Rooster with unshed tears in his eyes.

"You– You still want to– Oh, Baby Goose," Maverick whispered, seemingly overcome by emotion.

"Shit," Rooster muttered. "I mean, I– We hadn't talked about it yet but I do–"

Jake wanted to comfort his lover, but Javy pulled him outside to give the other two some "family time".

"Did you know about all that?" Jake asked once they were out of earshot.

"Not exactly, no. Bradley's always been very tight-lipped about his family matters, and now I know why. He didn't really have anyone for a while. I knew he and Maverick knew each other but I didn't know the depth of it. I guess he brought me here today with the purpose of meeting Maverick as his family and not as our teacher."

"Yeah, same. Mav has some pictures of Rooster as a kid in there but I never realized it went that deep. It's not like we're focusing on Bradshaw when there's a P-51 and a bunch of bikes to fix."

".....Yeah, what are you doing here?" Javy narrowed his eyes.

"Learning about planes?" Jake tried. 

Javy didn't dignify that with a response.

"We're sort of dating? Less going on actual dates, though, and more like spending every minute together for the past two weeks."

"Oh so you in deep," Javy chuckled.

It was true. Jake didn't give up his privacy like that for anyone. Usually the only person he could stand for that long was his best friend and even that was stretching it.

Javy blew out a breath. "Well, better that you're serious about it and not just fulfilling your threat of fucking Brad's dad."

"I told you, I didn't even know!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Let's go check how they're doing and hope my boyfriend doesn't want to kill you."

Jake squawked, but followed Javy back inside the hangar. If he hid a bit behind his friend's back then that was his business.

Inside they found the father-son duo (the thought still gave Jake whiplash) on the couch, hugging tightly and both looking like they'd been crying. Maverick noticed them approaching, and pulling away from Rooster, he asked Jake, "Sweetheart, did you get enough dinner supplies so they could stay over?"

Jake blushed at the nickname, and he secretly thought hearing it would never get old despite Javy smirking at him knowingly.

"Yeah, sure. I'll go get us some beers and we can talk," he said, eyeing Rooster's direction warily. 

This was going to be the weirdest fucking family dinner in history. Beer was needed.

------------------------------------------

tagsies (idk who in the hell is the target audience for this but I'll tag usual top gun list): @wildbornsiren @writeforfandoms @marvelousmermaid @lorecraft @a-reader-and-a-writer @callsign-phoenix @blue-aconite @mayhem24-7forever @lt-natrace @luckyladycreator2 @alexxavicry @footprintsinthesxnd @writercole @blowmymbackout

[marigoldbaker]

pls explain the jennyangel thing because i truly do not understand

yes absolutely! my jennyangel tag is a mess. it would help all of us as a society if i consolidated my thoughts.

so let's start from angel's perspective. jenny is someone who in a lot of ways metaphorically represents the enduring spirit of the girl he killed -- the girl who also changed his life by being loved, because her family made him who he is. the fact that such store is placed in that girl as a martyr to the point where her descendants are willing to serve one of their own up on a platter to angelus, putting her in close proximity to him in such a way that will place her in serious danger should he feel inclined to hurt her -- a young woman with lots of potential, her life ahead of her, moving through this world with genuinely good intentions -- is so fucking loaded. jenny being here and believing in him is really significant considering what he did to her family. she represents a chance at redemption. being forgiven by her means that there is a possibility that he, as he is, can be seen as a good person. her belief redefines his curse as something given to him to resurrect a man who she believes can do good in the world -- and i think angel would find that tempting in a whole lot of different ways.

and also -- hello! amends! jenny as the most constant face of angel's torment! jenny as the one who is most effective in pulling him down into the darkness! leaning in all close and being all touchy and whispering about how nice it would be to fuck buffy and give up! jenny represents SO MUCH to angel, even if he doesn't ever actually articulate it!

meanwhile, on jenny's side of the equation, angel is literally the same thing to her that he is to buffy and drusilla. she was introduced to the concept of him in the formative years of her life -- possibly even earlier than buffy and dru, as we'd ballpark their first encounters with him as in their teens, & jenny has known about angelus since CHILDHOOD -- and while she initially comes to sunnydale to watch him, we don't see her as ever actually dedicated to that mission. she's mostly just living her life before the (poorly written horrible bad) backstory kicks in. which, sure, retcon consequences, but also: there is this accidentally created implication that this has never been a mission jenny's wholeheartedly believed in, & that angel saving her life was really the final nail in the coffin (in more ways than one! ha ha ha). she has spent her entire childhood with the threat of him hanging over her head, and i think it would be more than natural for her to be curious in a lot of different ways, including (privately) sexually. there is nothing more Gothic Romance (and also nothing more jenny) than the allure of the forbidden, and this is a mysteriously murderous older man known as "the one with the angelic face" who ostensibly took an interest in one of jenny's family members. AND, again, this is exactly the same sitch as buffy and drusilla! she grew up in the shadows of what was done to the people around her. so much of what she became was in response to shit he did. he had a huge hand in shaping her and i think she'd have very complicated feelings about that.

i say very flippantly sometimes that i think making out would solve them, but my honest onion is i think it is such a compelling and fucked up and deeply weird dynamic & there's definitely mutual unresolved/unrealized sexual attraction in canon. i don't think it's ever anything either of them would pursue or even want to admit to -- and i also don't think that in canon it ever really becomes A Thing -- but i do absolutely think that at the very LEAST jenny considered the notion of being courted by angelus in her teens (in a subconscious sexual fantasy kinda way), even if she's mostly let go of that by the time canon starts. they have had a huge hand in shaping each other's identity and that is so weird and i think they should kiss about it.

[quill-of-thoth]

Letters From Watson, The Noble Bachelor

Part 3: The Fun Bits

- Holmes did NOT have to make this a dinner theater, but he did. Because Watson is trapped at home by the weather? Because Lord St. Simon is footing the bill? So Hattie and Francis would get a much-belated wedding dinner?

- He also appears very ready to argue St. Simon down from his anger. And the feeling is valid but anything St. Simon would do stemming from it would do nothing but make the lives of innocent people more difficult.  - Missing, presumed dead is a trope, but it’s a lot easier to achieve believably in these days with travel and sending messages far more difficult. It’s made more believable by Victorian attitudes about the USA.  - Holmes’ visit to Hattie and Francis is also interesting to imagine. He’s a detective, but he knows you didn’t do anything wrong, you just... planned hastily. Everybody will feel a lot better if you all meet in secret at his place to talk it over - he’ll even provide a nice meal to celebrate your wedding! You mustn’t mind his roommate.  - Hattie must care enough about St. Simon to want this to go as least-terribly as possible for him. And this route does save her father a lot of grief too. St. Simon is... not so quick to cooperate.  - Holmes’ ideas regarding a US/UK global empire are, uh. You know the kind of retrofuturism that is so hopeful but also so fucking cringe? Yep. My dude. I have some READING for you to do. (How long do you think it would take to radicalize a victorian?) - After all this we skip the wedding dinner, which Holmes appears to have attempted to make enjoyable... if all went as he planned, would St. Simon and the Moultons be friends by the end? Does he think he can show off a little, feed everyone a nice dinner, and happily, instead of bittersweetly, resolve what is ultimately a case where nobody is to blame, or at least, nobody acted with malice? He doesn’t get a lot of those. - Love the actual evidence-finding in this case - the recipt. The prices alone narrow it down quite a bit, but were doubly lost on me when I first read this, being a modern american. I’m triply at sea because  the prices here are also so low that they’re really impossible to ballpark using only inflation calculators. The prices of food and lodging do not correspond to inflation anyway, as basically all of us are aware. Maybe I’ll add some historical comparison of wages vs. expenses to my projects along with the ongoing amended timeline. - Holmes gives the Moultons some “paternal” advice. Of note he’s like, barely thirty: Hattie is in her very early twenties and Francis presumably similarly aged. On the one hand, sir you are a hypocrite, on the other hand, I’m thirty and twenty-two year olds are kids. Especially if the solution to the problem is “you need to get over yourselves and talk this out.” - Holmes’ closing comments regarding that he and Watson are unlikely to ever be out both a spouse and an income in the same day are very, very hilarious if you, like me, presume that Holmes is aroace. I have legitimately told friends and acquaintances relating tales of romantic trouble (not theirs! I have some sense of when to shut up!) “Wow, glad I’ll never have that problem.” Also, when one remembers that Watson is weeks away from his own marriage, this could also be a clumsy attempt by Holmes to reassure him. This won’t happen to you, old chap. You’re the first and only person in Mary’s heart. 

[casspurrjoybell-33]

Wreckless - The Camden Yards

*Warning Adult Content*

Emmett

It's a perfect day to be at Camden Yards. The weather is gorgeous, we're playing the Yankees and I have a gorgeous, funny, sweet guy with me. He left my place before dinner last night, begging off to get some work done. I missed sleeping with him and hell, waking up with him but it was all good. Finnegan insisted on buying food, beer and snacks even though I told him they'd come around to the stands. He went a little bit overboard and I am balancing quite a bit on my lap. He bought himself a t-shirt after I turned the offer down and he's wearing it while munching on peanuts. We already had hot dogs and I am enjoying a very frothy beer.

"It's so cool from up here, I love the stadium."

"Ballpark. Not as old as Fenway or Wrigley but it's a gorgeous park. A bit small so there are lots of home runs which is always fun."

"Wait, they're not all the same size?"

"Nope, they just squeeze them into the city however they can."

"How is that fair?" he asks, more perturbed than I expected.

"It's not, darling but teams travel lots which evens it out a bit. The pitching mounds and bases are all the same, it's just the outfields that vary a little."

"Oh, that's better. There are so many people here. I know that sounds stupid because of course there are but it's different somehow being in here."

"Yeah, there's an energy. The game is about to start, you need anything else? Looks like you're well provisioned."

"I'm good, just tell me when to cheer," he teases.

"Any questions, just ask. You'll do fine."

We went over a few basic rules on the way here and it's just not that complicated of a game. Once you know how many outs there are and how many innings, you're halfway there if your goal is just to enjoy watching a game. We lost, unfortunately but Finnegan seemed to enjoy himself anyway and I did too. I actually offered to leave at the end of the sixth inning because there was no way we were going to pull ahead but Finnegan wanted to watch the entire thing. I didn't mind, it gave me more time to process my last beer.

"You should come back to my place," he offers.

I picked him up so I have to but I know what he means.

"Sounds good to me, Finnegan."

I am up for whatever is going to happen, whichever Finnegan I get.

He's very, I don't know how to put it because saying 'adult' seems condescending and I'm not sure whether or not he has the infamous 'headspace' I've read about or how he ebbs and flows. Still, I've gotten to the point that I can tell, almost by looking at him, what to expect and right now, it's not cute brief boy. The thing is that we're in public so he may change as soon as we're in the car or back at his place, I just don't know.

I have time to think as we join the mass of humanity and thread our way through the park and towards the car. I wish he'd talk more about it, open up, but none of my prying has done any good and I've learned to keep my mouth shut about it. The drive home is quiet, he mostly stares out the window and I follow him politely up to his door. He walks in, gives me enough room to close the door behind me and then stops, staring at me.

"Would you actually bottom, are you verse or were you just saying that?"

That kind of came out of nowhere.

"I'm verse. I'm happy to let you have your wicked way with me if you'd like."

"Like fifty-fifty or?"

Harder question.

"Uh, seventy-five-twenty-five maybe?"

"Wait, which one is the seventy-five?"

This is ridiculous.

"I prefer fucking, darling but if you want to I am more than happy to be fucked. Why? What's your preference?"

"I dated a bottom once and topped but eh, not my favorite. Too much work. We only lasted like two months."

That cracks me up but it's true, you'd think tops would be a dime a dozen but they're in shockingly rare supply.

"You're funny. Finnegan, how do you want this to go? We've sort of been all over the place so I don't want to assume."

"That's it exactly, I feel like I've been all over the place. It's not usually this complicated but you mess with my head a little bit. I'm not being bitchy, maybe it's a good thing but I sort of feel like my old routines don't work with you."

"Maybe we should stop talking about it and just see what happens" I say right before I kiss him.

He puts his hands around my neck, he loves playing in my hair and I grip his waist. We end up sort of heading for the couch and I decide right then and there that I'd like to put him over it.

"Wanna bend you over the couch."

"God, sounds good. Only thing it's good for, hard as a fucking rock."

"Yes, yes I am," I tease and he laughs.

He steps back just long enough for both of us to take off our shirts.

"Supplies, darling and a towel."

Don't want him coming all over the sofa.

"One second."

I watch his cute ass sashay into his bedroom and I hope he's getting rid of those pants because mine are coming off. I wonder if he'll fit kneeling over the back? Maybe leaning over is better. He's right, topping is hard.

"You're smiling. Where do you want me?"

I pull him against me, skin to skin and grab his ass, teasing his bud while I kiss his neck. He's already prepped, such a good little bottom and he moans sweetly when I slip a finger inside. He's stroking me, as if I need it and right now I hate condoms because I have to stop making his breath hitch like that and get myself ready. Once I'm lubed I reach for him, slicking his cock so that I can make him crazy later. He looks gorgeous bent over the couch, his head resting on one forearm while he slowly strokes himself with his free hand.

"Okay babe. Are you ready?" 

I've never called anyone that before but it feels good to me and he doesn't argue.

"Hmm. Please," he replies, opening beautifully as I slide inside.

I give him a few minutes to adjust and he lets me know when he's ready. He feels amazing and I pause when I'm fully seated, enjoying and appreciating the sensation of being squeezed by his sweet ass.

"Love a patient man, Emmett. Thank you."

"You feel so good, Finnegan. I want to take good care of you."

"Come on then. Show me what you've got."

And so I do.

[the-crafting-gremlin]

I made a bit more sweater progress! I'm nearly done with this second-to-last chart repeat. Then I think I'm going to sit down and do a gauge swatch for the next sweater (or maybe I'll take a break from this sweater to do that...I'll see how I feel).

Unfortunately, I forgot to grab my project binder out of my other yarn bag last night (and I forget anything that's not already with my work stuff in the morning, so there's no way I was going to remember to grab it on my way out the door. I've forgotten to take my meds before even though I leave the bottle right next to my glasses precisely so I don't forget...) but I do have my little notebook of random notes. I'll just take notes in that today and transfer them to the binder after I finish seeing to my grandma tonight. Or tomorrow once I get to work, whenever I get the chance first.

I'm going to aim for a bigger swatch than called for (and than I usually do), and try to measure about how much yarn I use so I can get a ballpark on how big the color blocks will need to be for each color. It'd be a little easier if the planned sweater was knitted in the round, but it's not. So this is going to take more planning on my part to make sure I don't run out of a color and throw everything off. Yes, I could technically just go get more yarn, as long as Joann's keeps it in stock, but I decided I'd rather not.

My whole thing right now is trying to destash, and if I plan this right I should be able to manage with what I have. I hope. (I have enough yardage, I know that, but it's going to be close so I can't just say, "well I'll just make this color block this size and if I have yarn left over, oh well". I also don't have extras of any of the needles I'll be using, so I can't just...knit front and back at the same time. Which would probably solve most of my planning right there. I don't want to have to order more needles, but maybe that's a better plan.)

I've also got a secret santa thing in my department at work, so I need to start thinking about what I'm going to get my coworker. I don't know her super well (she's part-time and works on the other side of the office from me. And is also about a dozen years younger. We don't talk much.) and even with the little slips we all had to fill out, I'm still struggling to come up with ideas. I do know she crochets, though, so maybe I'll get her something crochet-related.

Maybe some cute stitch markers, or a little organizer/case for her hooks? I don't even know if she really uses stitch markers, actually. She's shown us some of her WIPs and I don't remember seeing markers anywhere. (I always use markers pretty liberally in larger projects like what she does, but that's because I lose count and easily lose my place. She may not feel a need to...)

Guess I'll have to employ stealthy methods of seeing what she uses while she crochets.

[bllsbailey]

NBC Forced to Give Trump Two Minutes of Airtime and Boy Does He Deliver: ‘Kamala Broke It, I’ll Fix It’

Saturday Night Live's effort to give Kamala Harris some free publicity backfired spectacularly when NBC was forced to provide Donald Trump equal airtime. And the former president used that time to his full advantage.

SNL had initially refused to allow any presidential candidates to make cameos during their sketch comedy show but then tossed that faux integrity right out the window when Harris made a surprise appearance.

As per usual, Harris was awkward and couldn't contain her cackle. Oh, and she also plagiarized a skit that Trump performed in 2015. 

What made matters worse, however, was that the network was clearly in violation of the FCC's equal-time rule. The rule essentially states that if you're going to offer X amount of time to a political candidate, you have to give the same option to their opponent.

Trump's campaign said they never received an SNL invite, and FCC Commissioner Brendan Carr called them out publicly for "a clear and blatant effort to evade" the rule and thus skirt election law.

With pressure mounting over the controversy, NBC News filed an Equal Time notice with the Federal Communications Commission late Sunday.

"Kamala Harris, the Democratic candidate for president in the 2024 national election, appeared without charge on NBC's 'Saturday Night Live' (SNL) for a total period of 1 minute and 30 seconds on November 2, 2024," the notice reads.

The problem, as RedState reported, is that they squeezed Harris' performance in on the last Saturday before the election, meaning even if Trump wanted to do a brief cameo on SNL, it would be impossible.

NBC, backed into a corner over the blatant FCC violation, was forced to throw the GOP nominee a bone. That bone came in the form of two ad spots during Sunday's NASCAR coverage, together with another aired during Sunday Night Football. 

Those are two very pricey timeslots for ads to run, with the Daily Mail estimating each to have a price tag in the ballpark of $1.7 million.

Having very little time to prepare for this, Trump's campaign put together a quick ad of the candidate standing in front of several American flags, wearing his signature Make America Great Again hat.

“Hello to our great sports fans, and I hope you’re having a fantastic time," Trump begins in the NBC-approved political ad. "We’re two days away from the most important election in the history of our country. We’ve got to save our country, and it needs saving; it’s in very bad shape."

He then dove head first into the travesty that is the Harris-Biden administration:

The worst economic numbers in generations were just announced two days ago. We’re losing jobs. We’re losing everything, including viability. We’re gonna end up in a depression, based on what’s been happening. We’ve never seen anything like it, at least for the last 40 years. We have to straighten out our country. We have to close our borders. We have to lower our taxes. We have to get rid of inflation. And we are going to do it. 

Kamala used her two minutes to stifle laughter while the audience screeched after seeing her on camera, delivering flat jokes surrounding the only credentials she believes matter — the fact that she's "a Black South Asian woman running for president."

Trump spoke directly into the camera regarding the economy, something that affects Americans' everyday lives. 

Kamala's performance was a thinly veiled hobnobbing vanity project with her elite Hollywood friends. Trump's message was delivered to NASCAR and football fans watching at home.

The contrast is clear.

"Just remember," Trump concludes. "Kamala and her friends broke it, I’ll fix it."

"Most important election in the history of our country. Go and vote.”

Vote like your wallet, if not your life, depends on it.

[adara-of-the-flame]

thehouseofivo

Well. This was odd. Bradford thought he was the one who hated this the most. Seems someone else might hate it nearly as much as he did…. or at least in the ballpark.

“Greetings. I am Bradford Buzzard, of The House of Ivo.” Not that titles mattered to an entity like this. He turned to Luna. “This being doesn’t seem like it’s interested in speaking with us. Any particular reason why you brought me here to bother it?”

If anything, while he knew exactly why, he wanted to hear her say it and hear the tree’s reaction.

adara-of-the-flame

"Because I enjoy tormenting my fellow elderly." The Seer's answer didn't even skip a beat.

The tree scoffed. 'Elderly? you're barely a sappling. Both of you.'

Luna leaned in close to speak to Bradford. "Tall order for those of us in our second century, but this tree's over six hundred years old."

'Years. Names. Why do you small, fast things fill your time with such nonsense?'

"We gotta fill it somehow." Luna seemed to be taking this irritation in stride. "But, I actually brought Bradford here to speak with you about your life. He needs to get out of his comfort zone of staying in the same place all the time."

'Sounds like a good routine if you ask me.' How does one speak without a voice? There were 'words' in the pair's heads, and yet there weren't.

A tree is not known to speak. Maybe Bradford's and Luna's minds simply translated what was already there. 'I've spent hundreds of 'years' just sitting here minding my own business. Nothing wrong with that.'

All Within It’s Season

It was a short message, written out on large, unassuming index card. 

“Dear, Director Buzzard,

You’ll be happy to know your season of dread had ended, and it’s time for you to accompany me on a trip to the outdoors, as was our agreement. 

Meet me in the morning tomorrow at the Fortress Entrance with anything you wish to bring with you. I’ll provide the rest.

Sincerely,  Luna DelMar, Director of Mental Health.”

[talenlee]

Story Pile: Inside Job

I guess it’s hard to recommend Inside Job. I mean not in the broadest way, where I can just say ‘it’s a funny adult comedy that doesn’t seem to venerate being a selfish asshole, and it looks like a lot of them these days, with the same general level of competence.’ It’s you know, the way that Rick and Morty pissed on its aesthetic to mark its territory and now any animation that puts in too much effort or has lines that are too clean winds up being seen as ‘like that.’

I don’t know if Inside Job is like that, because I haven’t seen Rick and Morty past the opening of the first episode. Didn’t jam with it, and instead watched other stuff I found more engaging instead. Like Inside Job!

No, what makes it hard to recommend is, and, like, reader – can I call you reader? – sure, okay, reader, the thing is, this is a shortish TV series that draws on modern mythologies of the conspiracy theory griftscape in which I grew up. It uses the ongoing behaviour of an overachieving conspiracy theorist father who doesn’t respect his kid as a plot point. One character idolises toys and franchises from the 80s because it lets him pretend he has an idealised family life that was fun. Oh, and the main character, Reagan, feels like an export of one of my friend’s OCs so closely that she uses Reagan gifs for reactions.

The series doesn’t feature a long form sequence of a character beating a priest to death or a thesis about how game play lets us choose our identities, but like, it’s otherwise hits pretty close to me individually.

Okay, like, it’s a great show! And when I say that it’s just as a sort of puzzle-box version of ‘I liked the experience of watching this show’ so you don’t feel you need to untether that and pick through all the possible permutations of what that might mean by me liking the show so instead we stamp on these labels like ‘good’ or ‘great,’ since I mean, I do think I can give you that ballpark of a generality of how good media is, how, you know, you can’t just necessarily think that media is ‘good’ in and of itself, but when I say ‘it’s good’ you know pretty much what I mean by that, within some bumpers. It’s not going to drop a random slur or something into the conversation, right, and of course, as a conspiracy theory based piece of media there’s going to be a heaping help of Let’s Be Very Clear This Isn’t About The Jews in all the jokes and the structures around those jokes.

It brings in Jeff Bezos for a cameo, then makes him look like a big dumb shithead, which sure, that’s some ‘acceptable billionaire targets’ and it doesn’t matter really, like it’s not praxis or anything but it is nice to watch a mainstream show that goes ‘you know, yeah, billionaires suck and we don’t need to invent one as an example.’ That’s in an episode that makes fun of how much Flat Earthers suck, and I think it’s a bit of a missed opportunity that it doesn’t make a point of how religious Flat Earthers tend to be,

Wait, you didn’t know that?

Oh yeah, like even the most science-brained of flat earthers typically, even for a diffuse group like them, you scratch the surface and you find frustrated catholics and antisemetic fundamentalist christians (but I repeat myself) just waiting underneath, all mad that a literal interpretation of certain phrases in the Bible doesn’t actually coincide with reality (because hey, that happens).

Uh anyway where was I,

Oh yeah like, there’s stuff about James Bond? And how that whole story, like, the whole point of James Bond as the movies depict him, is counter-conspiracy against conspiracy? Right? Like doom lasers and secret bases and all that stuff, that’s conspiracy theory guff, and James Bond is a government counter-conspiracy operative. He can do all sorts of goofy stuff, go where he wants, all his toys and tools? Same thing, conspiracy theory ‘hey, we have this tech we just can’t let the public have it yet.

And then, since he’s part of that space, Inside Job has episodes about what an absolute ass James Bond would be to interact with! It’s pretty funny, especially in the ways it draws parallels between rivalries and relationships and how, y’know, when you – when you – I mean, if you draw them down to their base parts, a lot of how we talk about and engage with relationships, romantic ones, tends to be built out of a language that’s used for conflict and harm. Pretty fucked up when you think about it, but like, not made as a hard point. It’s pretty cool, I liked that episode a lot too.

It was almost as good as how the episode about the 1980s seems really different to those people who grew up promised what they offered and never got it versus all the people who were excluded even from that promise. I mean I didn’t get all of it, because I was too young in the eighties and mostly spent my nineties in a cult that meant I uh, didn’t learn much about 80s culture, but still! It even has a great outburst, too!

Uh what else

What else…

Oh, Alex Hirsch is in it and he’s really funny for his few short scenes.

Like, I don’t know, I feel like all you really need to know about Inside Job is either that it exists, because Netflix haven’t done a good job of making sure anyone knows about it, or you already knew it existed but were afraid it was Just Another One Of Those Shows, and I’ll admit it, it is a show where a woman shouts SUCK MY DICK! at her coworkers before going to contemplate how much easier her work would be if she could just control all of their neurons. It’s not like it’s not wearing its Millenial Edgy But Not That Edgy interests on its sleeve or nothing. But you saw a pitch like conspiracy theory based adult cartoon comedy focusing on an autistic girl who rules and you probably started looking for a torrent before reading the rest of the article, or you were never going to.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!