#and most of my answer really does boil down to This Is A Vibe

[jennycalendar]

pls explain the jennyangel thing because i truly do not understand

yes absolutely! my jennyangel tag is a mess. it would help all of us as a society if i consolidated my thoughts.

so let's start from angel's perspective. jenny is someone who in a lot of ways metaphorically represents the enduring spirit of the girl he killed -- the girl who also changed his life by being loved, because her family made him who he is. the fact that such store is placed in that girl as a martyr to the point where her descendants are willing to serve one of their own up on a platter to angelus, putting her in close proximity to him in such a way that will place her in serious danger should he feel inclined to hurt her -- a young woman with lots of potential, her life ahead of her, moving through this world with genuinely good intentions -- is so fucking loaded. jenny being here and believing in him is really significant considering what he did to her family. she represents a chance at redemption. being forgiven by her means that there is a possibility that he, as he is, can be seen as a good person. her belief redefines his curse as something given to him to resurrect a man who she believes can do good in the world -- and i think angel would find that tempting in a whole lot of different ways.

and also -- hello! amends! jenny as the most constant face of angel's torment! jenny as the one who is most effective in pulling him down into the darkness! leaning in all close and being all touchy and whispering about how nice it would be to fuck buffy and give up! jenny represents SO MUCH to angel, even if he doesn't ever actually articulate it!

meanwhile, on jenny's side of the equation, angel is literally the same thing to her that he is to buffy and drusilla. she was introduced to the concept of him in the formative years of her life -- possibly even earlier than buffy and dru, as we'd ballpark their first encounters with him as in their teens, & jenny has known about angelus since CHILDHOOD -- and while she initially comes to sunnydale to watch him, we don't see her as ever actually dedicated to that mission. she's mostly just living her life before the (poorly written horrible bad) backstory kicks in. which, sure, retcon consequences, but also: there is this accidentally created implication that this has never been a mission jenny's wholeheartedly believed in, & that angel saving her life was really the final nail in the coffin (in more ways than one! ha ha ha). she has spent her entire childhood with the threat of him hanging over her head, and i think it would be more than natural for her to be curious in a lot of different ways, including (privately) sexually. there is nothing more Gothic Romance (and also nothing more jenny) than the allure of the forbidden, and this is a mysteriously murderous older man known as "the one with the angelic face" who ostensibly took an interest in one of jenny's family members. AND, again, this is exactly the same sitch as buffy and drusilla! she grew up in the shadows of what was done to the people around her. so much of what she became was in response to shit he did. he had a huge hand in shaping her and i think she'd have very complicated feelings about that.

i say very flippantly sometimes that i think making out would solve them, but my honest onion is i think it is such a compelling and fucked up and deeply weird dynamic & there's definitely mutual unresolved/unrealized sexual attraction in canon. i don't think it's ever anything either of them would pursue or even want to admit to -- and i also don't think that in canon it ever really becomes A Thing -- but i do absolutely think that at the very LEAST jenny considered the notion of being courted by angelus in her teens (in a subconscious sexual fantasy kinda way), even if she's mostly let go of that by the time canon starts. they have had a huge hand in shaping each other's identity and that is so weird and i think they should kiss about it.

[storiesbyjes2g]

3.189 Correction

When story time ended, Sophia took Desi to the bathroom and washed away the mess. With a few moments to myself, I went to the real estate website to see our house again and choose which side we'll call home. Both houses have an identical layout, so it really boiled down to which furniture we liked more. The gray house had a more sophisticated vibe, while the blue house was more relaxed and comfortable. Choosing was a lot harder than I imagined because they both were nice, and I couldn't go wrong with either. Ultimately, however, I chose the gray one. I figured since I'm taking on all the risk, it's only right we live in the fancier one. Just as I picked up the phone to call Less and tell her we have a house, someone knocked at the front door. It was Dub! I let him in and told him I was just thinking of him yesterday. Usually he'd take the opportunity to joke about how he has that effect on sims, but he just kinda snorted and said it was funny in the driest of tones. There was nothing funny about that half-hearted laugh and him standing in the foyer staring into the corner. Something was wrong.

"Earth to Dubstep. You coming in or you gonna stand in the foyer all night?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm good."

He definitely was not good because he didn't even flinch at the mention of the nickname he hates so much. Whatever's got him in a funk is probably why he's here. He always comes to me when he's in crisis. Well, when he perceives he's in crisis, rather. I love the guy, but he's a little high-strung sometimes. I'm glad he has sims in his life like Maia and me who are much calmer and more level-headed to keep him straight.

I didn't want to just dive in and spook him, though, so I started with a little small talk.

"Happy belated," I said.

"Thanks, man," he replied with a tiny grin.

"How did Tami like sharing her day with you?"

He let out a very long sigh, and I knew I had stepped unintentionally right into the middle of what I tried to dance around. I guess we're going all the way in.

"She didn't."

"Oh."

"How do you-" He stopped himself and turned away from me. "Nevermind. You wouldn't understand."

"Understand what?"

He swatted at me, trying to sweep the conversation back under the rug.

"Nothing. You have the perfect child and all this wisdom. You don't understand what it's like for the rest of us."

Was he mocking me? I've had it up to here with everyone assuming I live this perfect life and have all the answers. I'm one of the most down-to-earth sims I know, yet somehow I still end up being out of touch with everyone. Am I too confident? Too strong? I know I've carried things I shouldn't have in the past, and I need to be more open, but how does that equate to me having it all together? I know Dub is upset about something and isn't thinking straight, so I'm gonna try to let it go this time, but not before I give him a little dose of truth because, upset or not, this fairytale everyone thinks I live in ends today.

"Do you really believe that?" I asked.

He shrugged.

"Maybe. I don't know. But I'm sure you're gonna tell me how I'm wrong, so..."

"Damn right I am. You don't know my life like you think you do. And you definitely don't know what goes on in my head. 'All this wisdom?' I got it from all the shit and mental gymnastics I've been through. Now, I'll be the first to say my child is the best, but she has her moments too. And I've had my share of parenting and marriage fails, so don't tell me I don't know what it's like."

He sat silently for a few moments, taking in my reprove. Part of me thinks all he needed was to hear me say he's not alone, but another part thinks he still needs advice on something, so I got down to business.

"What happened, Dub? I don't like seeing you like this."

"I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that."

"Don't worry about it. What's going on?"

"You ever wonder if you're ruining Desi?"

His question caught me off guard, and I laughed. He has no idea how obvious that answer should be.

"Only all the time," I said.

His eyes lit up.

"Really?"

"Of course. Did Tami come with a manual? Because we sure didn't get one. I don't know what I'm doing half the time, man, so yeah...I wonder. Like, her birthday is in two days, but I'm still carrying her around like an infant. She enjoys it, so it's cool, but is it hurting her? Will she want to be up under us all the time when she's older? Am I keeping her from becoming independent? I question every move I make with her, even if it's not necessarily bad."

"I feel that." He sat there, nodding over and over as if to drum up the courage to make his next statement. "Tami has been doing and saying some mean things lately, but I just let it happen because of my own feelings about the sims she's doing it to."

"How do you mean?"

"I told you she kicked my former tenants. You know they deserved that. She also bit my father-in-law. I was so proud of her because someone needs to knock him down a few pegs. But she's older now and using words. She cut up this little girl in the park yesterday and told her she wasn't pretty."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. But the other girl started it, so she had it coming too."

"I see what you mean now."

"So, what do you think about it?"

Oof. Why does he always put me in this position? I have a lot of feelings about this, but I'm sure none of them are what he wants to hear. But what kind of friend would I be if I said nothing? I'd feel terrible if Tami grew up to be a monster, knowing I had the opportunity to shed some light early on. It won't be comfortable, but I've got to at least try. Here goes nothing.

"I think ... You're my boy, and I'll always tell you the truth, so ... You're her dad, Dub. You should be the one telling her those things are wrong, not encouraging her bad behavior. I know you think all those folks got what they deserved, which is also problematic, but is that the message you want to send Tami? That she can do and say whatever she wants and get away with it because 'they deserved it?' I'm afraid of the path you're putting her on. What kind of a woman will she become if you let her continue on like this? Do you think of her future?"

"Of course I do! What kind of a-"

He paused, succumbing to the realization I was right, even though I wondered if I had gone too far.

"I'm sorry if I'm out of line," I said. "I wouldn't have said anything if I didn't care."

"No. You're right. You always are. I was just thinking about what my parents will say if they find out how she's been acting. There's no way in hell they would have let me get away with the stuff I let slide."

I can't imagine my parents letting us get away with that either, but I honestly don't know what they would have done. Me and Less never really got into trouble, and my parents were both so lenient. I guess I'll never know. Hopefully, I'll never have to talk to Desi about this.

"I'm glad you always keep it 100 with me," he continued. "That's why I trust you so much. Can't lie, though. That hurt, but I know I needed to hear it. Deep down, I knew, but I never saw it like that. I'll do better, though. Believe that."

"I believe it, man. We don't play about our daughters."

"We absolutely do not!"

Not that I don't love these deep conversations with my best friend, but that one got really heavy, and he clearly has a lot to mull over later, so I pulled out my phone and showed him our new home, hoping a lighter topic would do the trick.

[youcouldmakealife]

Do you ever mix up names? I love your stories, but I am shit at names and as your pantheon/league grows I find myself increasingly turned around by all the north american dude names (first, last, AND hockey nicknames!!!). I can usually keep track of the on-going series names and names that are less common in North America (Kiro, Sven), but if I'm reading, say, an ask or rereading I usually have remind myself who is who first.

I don't mix them up between themselves and other characters in either a similar name way (James vs Jake, say) or roles (mixing up say, Wheels and Craney and Matty).

(This got so long and off topic, why does this always happen)

What I do mix up is sort of more of a...muscle memory thing, maybe? I'm writing the word, say, gorgeous, and I have to delete georgieous first, because my fingers apparently have become a phone's autocorrect function. I actually did write James as Jake a few times when I was deep deep in editing BTT, but again, it was just sort of like...an autofill error between my brain and my fingers.

The names themselves I'm pretty good with, though I do worry about whether I'll continue to be as a) the pantheon continues to expand (I love this by the way, and now I'm probably going to spend the rest of my evening mentally assigning characters places in the pantheon) and b) I get older. And both things seem pretty inevitable to me.

Unfortunately, the two things I appear to have in common with Leo Tolstoy are brevity and 'these people have three names, and I'm going to use them all interchangeably'. (ie Vinny is Thomas to himself, but Vinny to literally everybody else including me. And sometimes Tommy but only to Anton and his parents and only sometimes. Anton's alternately Anton, Petrov, Tony to Vinny and teammates, or Antosha to his family.)

I'd honestly apologise for it but it's one of those things that's really inextricable from the sort of...falling into a perspective way that I write, the same way I write in American English for American characters and Canadian English for Canadians, or use Christian (and specifically Catholic) references in Robbie or Georgie's POVs but never, say, Mike's or David's, unless we count Mike's very liberal usage of the word goddamn (and it's lowercase with him, but it'd be Goddamn to Robbie.)

And the different vocabularies extends to names. Like William Dineen is William to Robbie, he specifically asked to be called that when he was a teenager who wanted to feel more adult, and Robbie respected that then and continues to now. Georgie respected it in another way -- he was Willy to him, and now he uses Will, which William is fine with, but only with immediate family.

But in the text itself Georgie would never use William, because it'd feel distant to him, and Robbie would never use Will because he'd consider that disrespectful after William specifically requested to be called that, and me choosing one or the other wouldn't be in character, so he's Will and he's William, but never Willy (that's Tate Williams).

I make this all sound like a much more conscious process than it is. A lot of this stuff I've only figured out via metacognition of my writing process, which is, by necessity, done in hindsight.

My original answer to questions like 'why did you do _____ that way?' is invariably '*shrug* felt right', and people tend to find that...unsatisfying, so I often investigate further, and the answer becomes 'felt right because of <this reason I was in no way consciously aware of during the writing process>'. As I've said to my poor beleaguered editor, a lot of my writing process is 'just vibes'. I follow good vibes. Bad vibes tell me something's not working, and I adjust accordingly. I think a lot (I cannot tell you how many times I've been accused of overthinking things), but when it comes to writing, most of it's happening beyond my own perception, so instead it feels more like gut instinct. (which is, indeed, what gut instinct often boils down to: pattern recognition going on beneath one's conscious awareness)

[utilitycaster]

I’m not sure if you have seen this theory but what’s your thoughts on “the raven queen could be Ludinus’s mother”? I’ve seen it float around on twitter and honestly, to me, it seems a little far fetched.

I have, and I agree with you.

I guess the best way to put it is that there's a lot of theories about Ludinus, and that's extremely valid, but I've found that people are extremely weird about these theories in a way I haven't really seen elswhere.

Personally, I find the idea that Ludinus is lying about most of his past - that he is just a guy from immediately-post-Divergence Issylra who moved to Molaesmyr, destroyed it in an attempt to commune with Ruidus, and established himself as a permanent fixture in the relatively young Dwendalian Empire in order to further his ultimate goals - is by far the most compelling. It feels extremely real for someone with grandiose designs to deliberately invoke an idealized version of the Age of Arcanum that was destroyed; we see this all the time in real life appeals to classical Western antiquity from would-be dictators. I also think he is, in many ways, not sympathetic per se but very...human (well, elven) for being frustrated at having to gather information of this time he believes to be lost and far better than today piecemeal, from whatever scraps remain. I think if he had firsthand knowledge but still took 800 years to figure out what the fuck to do? He's less clever and less heartbreaking and somehow, despite not lying about his age, far more of a windbag.

However, this is just my preference! It's also entirely possible he is from pre-Calamity. And here's where I start to get less generous. Because pre-Calamity? Totally fine. He insinuates that he is. He does so in the same conversation in which he insinuates he is Ruidusborn, which we know he isn't, and it's implied that not many people have caught on to his age (indicating that he probably appeared pretty young when he arrived in Molaesmyr) and since his device appears to have possibly been invented in Molaesmyr my gut feeling is that he was either a child during the final years of Calamity or immediately after. That's just a gut feeling. He easily could be older.

The thing is, literally all we have is "might have been around pre-Calamity" and it feels like people treat two very common specific theories - that he is from Aeor, and that he is the son of the Raven Queen - as fact, when all of the Ludinus theories are purely vibes-based. All we can say with any confidence is "older than he looks, definitively over 500 and almost certainly over an elf's natural lifespan of 750."

Re: The Raven Queen theory, what personally strikes me as far-fetched is that the Raven Queen's original name is lost, but who she was was not lost. She taught Patia. Wouldn't people...know that Ludinus was her child? Like, I suppose the answer can be "Matt didn't want to give spoilers away" but it feels like it raises questions about EXU Calamity that in all the discussion of people interested in ascension, the fact that the Raven Queen had a son doesn't ever once come up. And if he were a secret? That's also a question! And if he were the child of the now forgotten deity of death? What does that mean for him? Wouldn't he be a demigod, probably, of sorts? Can the gods reproduce? Was he the Raven Queen's child with some random guy? It's not that it's not possible, but I feel like boiling his stuff about the gods down to "Mommy issues" is reductive, far less interesting, and it raises more questions than it answers which is always in my mind a sign to steer clear of a theory.

And then there's the Aeor part, which just...I don't actually know where this comes from because if he were the Raven Queen's son it's pretty clear he'd be from Avalir, as she was all but stated to be, but people seem to treat these two things as both true sometimes. I feel Aeor feels far-fetched specifically because I think he'd have been far more able to rebuild Aeorian tech if he was from there. I suppose it's possible he was just a mediocre schmo while Aeor still existed, and has taken on a last survivor, must reclaim the glory of "city that was about to nuke another city simply as a weapon's test" mentality; but also, Aeor expeditions are relatively recent in the timeline of Post-Divergence Exandria. You think this man couldn't have popped up there and taken a leisurely look at the ruin of the Malleus Factorum any time before the past 60-ish years, before Uthodurn started poking around? Why didn't he mention Aeor in his notes in Molaesmyr? Again, more questions are raised than answered, and that casts doubt for me.

So it's hard for me to be objective here just because I find so much of the "Ludinus is pre-Calamity" theorizing to be just...really humorless and brittle and presumptive, and often not terribly interesting. Obviously if we get a definitive answer, and he is the child of the Raven Queen or is Aeorian (if he's both I'm going to roll my eyes because that's just sloppy, Matthew) or even if he was just a guy from pre-Calamity and not terribly important, I'll incorporate that into my understanding! But there's this childish demand that everyone treat what is ultimately an unconfirmed theory as immutable fact. I've seen people act like shitposting about Ludinus is somehow offensive because it violates their personal headcanons, and that's just peak main character behavior on their part. The idea that Ludinus is 800 and deliberately building a cult of personality rooted in the idealization of the Age of Arcanum (while conveniently ignoring that this age was when the Prime Deities -and only the Prime Deities - walked the earth; and that life outside the flying cities was rather less idyllic and wizard-run, and that the titans were still sealed away) is no less valid than the idea that he's 1200 and the son of the Raven Queen and/or from Aeor. All we know for certain is "definitely has been active and accounted for for over 500 years, almost certainly more, is definitely extending his lifespan through eating fey souls."

[shostakobitchh]

For “anonymously message me (3) things you want to know about me.”:

1. How long have you been a music teacher, and what sparked your interest in both music and writing?

2. Is there a specific piece of music or book quote that deeply touches your soul? If so, what about them resonates with you?

3. What are some of your favorite books and movies, and what about them captivates you the most?

This fall will be my 6th year of teaching orchestra! I started violin when I was 9 and I remember it being the first thing I was really good at, so there was enjoyment there. Once I was in high school, I had a fantastic team of music teachers who clearly loved what they did and I remember wanting to do the same - inspire others the way I was inspired. Writing came later; I had read Harry Potter for the first time in high school, and I had a really close friend (who was coincidentally named Lily) and we just talked about Harry Potter and Snape ALL THE TIME. It got to the point where my friend group got mad at me bc I was spending more time with Lily to talk about Harry Potter than like, enjoy our final year of high school LOL. So we started writing fanfic. She's moved on and stuff but it never really faded for me. It really just boiled down to finding nothing that scratched the itch I had (Female Harry with Feral Bio Dad Snape).

2. Oh man, this one is HARD. I think of every piece of music that has touched me, the most profound has to be the finale of Symphony No. 2 by Mahler. If you don't know this symphony, it is a fucking masterpiece. It's known as the Resurrection Symphony and Mahler composed it with the idea of following a narrative that spans through death, starting with a funeral march and ending in a resurrection.

“Why have you lived? Why have you suffered? Is it all some huge, awful joke? We have to answer these questions somehow if we are to go on living – indeed, even if we are only to go on dying!”

This article does a great job of explaining what's happening here. I don't know how to put into words how absolutely moving this piece is; I played it a year ago in a cathedral and I cried the last 2 minutes. The end, where everyone comes blazing together in an assurance that there is meaning beyond the grief, is probably one of the most comforting things I have ever had the privilege to listen to and be a part of.

3. I don't read as much as I used to and that's a big regret of mine. I did read ACOTAR last year and genuinely enjoyed it! It was very different for me but I loved the characters and the world-building! I'm currently starting Throne of Glass because apparently that's even better than ACOTAR and more my vibe - princess assassin? Yes please!

I love Stefan King; all his stuff slaps. Horror is my absolute favorite genre of all.

My favorite movie, in a weird turn of events, is Avengers Endgame. I just like action and good writing (before Disney bought it and ruined Marvel, thanks Disney). Thor Ragnarok is a close second. I don't really have a favorite for movies because I watch literally everything. Right now I'm hooked on House of the Dragon.

[arrenkae]

So I finished bg3 and thought the ending was Fine, Actually

Maybe I expected the worst after seeing so many people voicing their disappointments

Maybe I was lucky to avoid most bugs that made the experience worse for others

Or maybe I'm just too happy with my boy Withers/Jergal being a total badass MVP both in my good dark urge ending (I'll write more about this in another post) and in the after credits scene so that everything else pales in comparison

Hell yeah bro you tell them

...but yeah, I quite liked this ending. It hit all the right notes for me: big epic final fight, big stakes, dramatic cinematics, all of all allies gathering to help, final words from our companions before we go and celebrate our victory

Sure, there is room for improvement and the ways it could be made more impactful and reflect our choices better; and with so many people being unhappy with the ending, I wouldn't be surprised if Larian make those improvements in a future enhanced edition or something

But so many people who are unhappy with the ending are asking for detailed epilogue sliders and look

I'm probably going to give a very controversial opinion here

But I don't really care for epilogue sliders. I don't hate them, of course, many great RPGs have ending sliders. They are fine. Especially in the heavily text-based games. But personally, if the game's story worked well on its own, tied all the loose ends and answered the big questions, I'm fine with just having a big satisfying ending scene and riding off into the sunset. We won, there is a bright future ahead of us, who knows what it will bring. Maybe there will be a sequel, maybe you can just imagine things. It's fine to end it at that.

Meanwhile, epilogue sliders bring a certain sense of... finality that I don't always vibe with. It's one thing to see your choices pay off in the game itself, but spelling out the characters' futures for years to come is sometimes a bit too much. Also, in most cases it just boils down to "this village you saved? yup, it's saved, everyone is living happily now" and "this character you helped and who already told you their plans for the future? yeah, they are going to do just that, they are going to be fine". Which is sometimes nice to hear, I get that.

Or, alternatively, when the epilogue gives you an unexpected outcome, and it's not really something you wanted for this character, it kind of sucks, you know? You are not going to replay a game for one different slider. But then you are like, "okay, those are just sliders, I can pretend this didn't happen like that" and then this whole things kinda falls apart. Sliders never quite feel like the "real" part of an ending for me, more like some musings about the most likely future. I can take them or leave them.

But like I said, it's much more important for me to have the game itself end on a strong note. Tbh, endings tend to be the weakest part of SO MANY great RPG games that are amazing otherwise; and Baldur's Gate 3 is far, FAR from the worst examples. With so many hours of gameplay, and so many choices you can make, it's super hard to end it in a way that truly does justice to this entire experience.

...but for some people, like me, it's enough to see Jergal shit talking the Dead Three. That's all I ever wanted from this game. Absolutely iconic.

[shirogane-oushirou]

Ro, my friend, bestie!!!! Star, galaxy, black hole and moon for the ask game!!! Any of the guys in your life who you are inspired to gush about can answer them!!! :3 (I love asking about Ren SO MUCH but you also have other sweeties and I don't want to neglect them 💖)

( @verykissablepixels )

THANK YOU REFFIEEEEEEEEE!!!!! 🥺💕💕💕 i'll probably still end up answering for ren bc i'm so ren-pilled skdfkjn, but i'll throw in some of the others where i think they fit!!!

Star- Does your F/O do anything to calm you when you're upset?

i think ren would actually encourage me to be outwardly upset more often ;; not in an unhealthy way, but because i don't really express those kinds of things anymore. if something seems like it's upsetting me but i'm not Doing anything with it, he might ask me some questions, probe a bit to see if it's something i REALLY don't want to talk about, and suggest i vent a bit or cry on his shoulder... and once that's done, we'd go fix something to eat and he'd pump me full of electrolyte water LMAO. ;;

(and it's work both ways tbh -- doc!ren has even worse issues with expressing negative emotions than i do, and r!ren expresses them through being bitchy to people who are being bitchy to him ksjdfn, so i'd want to help them vent in healthy ways when they're upset!)

gray's pretty simple with his methods... he's one of the most mature people in wonderland (which isn't saying much tbh, he's just better at it than the others), and since he fills so many job roles while working for nightmare, he knows how to approach people. so he'd sit me down in a quiet room, far from the hustle and bustle of the busy areas of clover tower, and ask what's wrong. he'd let me get it all out, politely interjecting where need be, and then once i'm done he'd suggest that he could make hot drinks for us (to which i'd have to reply that I'D make them kjsnfjkn, i don't trust him to boil water let alone mix ingredients ;;;). and if it turned out that my issue was due to someone being threatening or violent, he would... take care of the issue later... :)

oushirou's a silly guy, but he has a very serious side as well. he'd sit with me, encourage me to let things out, hold my hand, and maybe help problem solve a bit. he likes to keep up a daily stream of communication when possible, so if he got Vibes from an earlier chat, he might let me vent when he gets back home and then be like, "btw i picked up dessert for us on the way back for no particular reason whatsoever, so look forward to that!" he knows i know it WAS for a particular reason, and he lets me huff at him for being frustratingly good at picking up on things i try not to let others see. and while he isn't as retaliatory as gray, if i was upset at something a stranger said / did to me while out and about, he might play bodyguard for a while juuust in case i need someone with a strong kick with me ;;;

mars is quieter in his approach. he'd cuddle up and ask if something was wrong -- they know if it's something important enough to me that i'll let it out with a little prodding. he'd just hold me as i vent, and when i'm done, they'd thank me for feeling like i can trust him. and then we'd just... "move on" -- once the emotions are out it's better to focus on something emotionally fulfilling! he's like a more immediately open oushirou -- it wouldn't take much time for them to feel close enough to pick up on those things and know how to help me deal with them in the moment and after, and like oushirou, they generally know when to play it cool around violent people, when to be threatening, and when to actually make good on those threats.

Galaxy- What do you and your F/O do when one of you is homesick?

both rens have complicated feelings about their family homes, feeling a weird mix of nostalgia and disgust. by the end of his whole story, doc!ren ends up not being able to go back At All, Literally Cannot, so sometimes he has that contradictory, "well now that i CAN'T, a part of me wants to go back after all......" feeling. I think in his case, the only thing we can do is just be together for however long he needs, doing things that remind him of the better moments back there in a, "there are still things from there that you have here," sense.

and this particular s/i's brand of homesickness is like a low, constant, simmering feeling of homesickness they've long adjusted to... poorly adjusted, but adjusted nonetheless hhhh. just being around doc!ren helps to soothe those feelings, and as the relationship continues they start to disappear. "i have a new home now, and it's you," vibes. 💕

r!ren's a bit easier KJNDKJN. he misses visiting his grandparents, who he's closer to than doc!ren is. we'd end up sitting somewhere cozy, and he'd either call or video chat with them and we'd all talk together. i'd start learning french to bridge the gap a bit, but ren would still translate when needed. talking to and spending time with the people he loves helps a ton on its own (he does want to take me to visit them in person at some point though hehe).

this verse is fairly close to reality, aka i live with family, so no homesickness for me lmao.

oushirou is less homesick than one would think -- yeah he's constantly traveling, but it's the one thing he's always known he wanted to do, enough to completely cut contact with his disapproving parents over it. he'd still miss the winter crew and me, and would visit whenever he could, but i'd say it's less like homesickness and more like... if they and i could travel with him, he'd never feel the desire to return home. traveling IS his home. we do, however, having some matching clothes and items so that, when he can't visit for a while or if he loses service and can't call / text, we can still feel connected!

also living at home here so no homesickness for me, but i do miss oushirou dearly, which makes it all the more important to him that we make the most of every possible moment together when he has the opportunity to visit!!

gray doesn't have any homesickness. he's pretty much like everyone in wonderland (except ace) in that regard. -I-, however, do feel some homesickness in spite of myself, and this sends gray in to a quiet panic. in his mind, i'm homesick -> i want to go back home -> i'm going to leave wonderland and never be able to return. so despite knowing how manipulative it is, he constantly takes me out on dates (platonic or romantic) to places he KNOWS i'll adore. wonderful restaurants, art supply shops, spots on the roads between locations that he thinks i might want to draw, doing physical activities that i can't manage back home... he wants to show me that wonderland is better than anything i had going on before. he'd freely admit to all of this if i called him out on it or if it seemed like it was making things worse, but despite his mature exterior he really is just as willing to sweep details under the rug as any other wonderland resident if it means keeping someone he cares about nearby.

Black Hole- Have you ever had a strange dream about your F/O?

all of my oc f/os have been sourced from strange dreams tbh so i won't even go into them lJSNIFLN, their stories are really just edited versions of my initial dreams about them.

i have Fucking Weird dreams about oushirou all the time though. it's mostly things like "i found a secondhand shop for doujin, and there's SO MUCH OUSHIROU DOUJIN I'VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE!!! I HAVE TO BUY IT ALL!!!!"... but also absolutely unhinged shit, like one where we met at a library we were sheltering in and, over the course of a couple of days, fell in love, he was bitten by an animal and developed RABIES????, we decided to get married before he was too far gone, and then i became a widow. so. KJNAKJN.

and i won't go too far into details bc i said i wouldn't, but mars was technically created from an oushirou dream set in a zombie apocalypse. he was a test subject to see if zombies could be "brought back", and i was brought in as like... an impromptu chat buddy to help with socialization. scientific overreach etc etc the arrogance of man etc etc. years later i rewrote it to make more logical sense, made that oushirou into my oc, and used the whole thing to work through chronic illness feelings (yay yippee love to dump my issues on my ocs weehee)!

i've also had some very weird ones with raven, like when he and rita slipped through spacetime into this world, and we met by chance and all bonded pretty quickly. or when he was an... instructor? at some kind of summer camp for adults?? and while it didn't seem like i stood out to him much at first, he actually stuck up for me at one point and kept wanting to connect after that. idk, weird things with no real rhyme or reason but that don't even come CLOSE to the weirdness of the oushirou dreams lol.

Moon- What's something your F/O does that never fails to make you happy?

being cute hehe 💕

doc!ren: he's very good at sussing out things that someone would ENJOY doing but may not have a reason to go out of their way to do, so he helps me get out of my comfort zone safely and understands if/when i hit my energy limit. i also love when he feels he trusts me enough to release "you will regret this" levels of infodump on me KJNFKJN, it's so cute and sweet and his enthusiasm is contagious.

r!ren: my LORD is he good at making me feel special!! and with his personality, it's clear it isn't just a matter of niceties or being a flirt. i feel so happy every time i can see how genuine he his, how far he's willing to go just to provide comfort, how he wants to be around me just as much as, if not more than, i do. how, if i have to cancel a date bc of a flare-up, he'll immediately come over with a care package filled with healthy (and secret not-so-healthy 🤫) goodies to keep me going for a day or two. 🥺

oushirou: genuinely just... his everything. but in particular, his over-the-top silly antics really get me. he'll make mundane things sooo dramatic just for the sillies + the joy it brings to others. he has great emotional intelligence and puts his ALL into helping those around him feel better. (also i know vaguely-horny does not equal happy.... but he sure does make me happy when he canonically KICKS THROUGH DOORS ksndfkjn like helloooooo?? sir??? 😳 that one scene has made me so Not Normal for the past 11 years....)

mars: something as simple as holding their hand. we're both very protective of each other -- we kind of have to be, given our situation -- so they often provide a sense of comfort. whether we're just sitting and reading together, or we're doing some activity to stimulate his cognitive function, or we simply cuddle in his holding chamber, they emanate a strong sense of safety, and i can really feel it through his light hand touches and rubbing the back of my hand with their thumb. and in a world that's gone to shit, that simple, caring touch means so much.

gray: OOOOOH his gap moe mode kjsndfkjn. after the serious answers, i get to the serious character and my answer is just "when he goes googoo gaga over anything soft and fluffy." he's so cute in jnkna when he's fishing on a frozen lake and a little seal becomes his companion 😭 and he names it after alice and puts a little alice bow on it 😭😭 he even gets cute when peter turns into his rabbit form -- as peter yells and scratches and curses at everyone, gray's still like 😳 bnnuy.... 💕💕💕💕💕

raven: when he's being a little drama queen ksjndfjn. i think there's plenty of room for quiet, serious talks that end with us feeling happy with our situation, but nothing beats when he's teasing karol or being a little silly guy! just a little 5'7 guy!! and it's his birthday!!!!! etc ksjdnk. his skits always crack me up, bc more often than not he's so unhinged for NO REASON! he's just LIKE THAT!! and yet he still thinks "raven" is a mask. nah man. you are all of your masks, the masks were always part of you, and that means part of you is a silly little trickster and Local Weirdo (tm).

[canayams-art]

it's meee, the qianqing anon✨ it certainly been a while since ive been in your asks jsjdjdjd the uni has been crazy and the finals were approaching so i had to force my focus on studying instead of screaming about my faves to anyone who was willing to listen :") but now that that's out of the way for a while now because the second semester has already started, im free to go back to my deranged brainrots sjejejejjeke

OH I ALMOST FORGOT very very late merry christmas (if you celebrated) and happy new years!! 🎉🎉

im rewatching the second season of tgcf at the moment and im going crazy over the small lqq moments i missed in my first watch wjejejek he's just such an amazing character and soo 😍 i love/hate that im now restarting the angst 😭😭

SOMEHOW I ALSO MISSED THE BRIEF BLURRY SHI WUDU CAMEO AND I WAS SCREAMING ABOUT IT FOR HALF AN HOUR TO MY FRIEND!! I CANT WAIT TO SEE HIM IN HIS FULL CORRUPTED GLORY IF WE EVER GET GHE BLACK WATER ARC ANIMATED!! he actually might be in my top three favorite characters from tgcf even if i don't talk about him nearly as much as i talk about mq

anyways. LQQ!! i know i already watched everything and i know that i know what's going to happen but man i am not prepared to go through that again! while i am EXTREMELY glad that we got to see him boil qr alive AND slice him in half, THE PAIN THE ANGUISH THE CONFLICT JWJWIEKEKKEJJE

i don't think i will be getting him out of my head anytime soon :")) im even more salty that he doesn't get a more important scenes later in the series :((

unfortunately ive been a bit brain-dead because of the most boring subjects in the world ughhh so i don't have any new lqq and mq thoughts :(( if you do pls share with me, im dying for every crumb of creativity available skkekekeke

also idk if i mentioned this in my last ask, but it makes me so happy that both you and your followers like these little lqq/mq rants 🥹 it makes me excited to share whatever new idea pops into my brain and know that there are somewhere ppl who get just as excited about them as i do

anyways, i hope you're doing well!! 😽😽

Welcome back qianqing anon!!!

I hope finals went well for you and that you’ve been able to catch your breath again. I also hope you enjoyed the holiday season!

Every time I see or think about donghua lqq I feel so grateful to the production team for depicting the way lqq feels and expresses himself so intensely. I know we all know this by now but his arc really is my favorite within the entire story,,, 🥹 It’s a shame we really only see him in the early chapters and the final ones— I genuinely think his story could easily be its own novel/extra.

Also where does shi wudu show up???! If it’s later in s2 then I haven’t spotted him yet cos I,,,,, still haven’t gotten around to finishing s2 (life got in the way of quality time in lqq land 😭). I feel you though— I find shi wudu interesting in such a way where I love his character but I also feel he 100% got what was coming to him LMAO. Blackwater arc is gonna be so wild to see.

But!! Back to qianqing lol. I was thinking earlier about the fact that lqq answers any personal communication array regardless of who is contacting him. Meanwhile mq haunts the public communication array but gives this vibe that not a lot of people have access to his personal array,,,, made me think about how mq seems like the type who always reaches out to lqq privately, knowing that lqq will always answer, but refuses to give his password in return. Lqq probably asked him once and mq probably told him something like “It’s pointless when I know you’ll answer me no matter what.” (Bonus: maybe mq finally decides to hand his password over when lqq ends up going down to the mortal realm to seek his revenge— like it’s mq’s way of telling lqq that he’s concerned but without flat out saying he’s concerned for lqq LOL)

Anyway! Please always feel free to slide into the inbox. I may be slow to reply to these but they really do make my day. The qianqing brainrot never sleeps 😂

[sonnet-of-anarchy]

Awh, thanks for the tag @ginevralinton <3

Favourite colour and why? Dark blue or green I’d say. Green because pretty much every shade is beautiful & it reminds me of wood walks, nature, and pretty eyes. Blue has always been my favourite, not really sure why - suppose my middle name sort-of links (Jay, like the bird) but also my Uni is down south so I’m lucky enough to see the sea quite a bit :)

Five comfort movies: Bunny & the Bull, Shaun of the Dead, Bill, The World’s End & Slaughterhouse Rulez

Favourite season and why? Gotta be Autumn. I like crunchy leaves and the colours. It’s the perfect temperature mostly without being freezing or boiling - I can wear my favourite clothes &, honestly, still love Spooky Season :)

Favourite book(s): Dracula by Bram Stoker, Lanny by Max Porter, Carmilla by J.Sheridan LeFanu (to name a few)

favourite aesthetic(s)and why? I believe it’s called ‘fairy grunge’ or the sort of grung-y/ whimsical vibes that cross over whimsigoth and ‘hippie’ - I just like the grounded/nonchalant aesthetic I suppose - suits my lifestyle the most :)

Favourite genre and why? Gotta be horror-comedy, I get a gore fix without the fear of media taking itself too seriously haha. Must admit it’s very hit and miss though - there’s always the fear of ‘shock value’ substituting a good script/ loosening production value with the facade of a ‘it’s supposed to be bad’. THAT BEING SAID there have been a lot of gems that’ve come from this genre.

Favourite clothes style: as above really, any green/brown/grey/black earthy tones. I enjoy cardigans and jumpers, flow-y skirts or baggy jeans - depends where the gender meter is sitting, I suppose. Either way lots of jewellery, crystals, badges, hair product and big boots.

Favourite music genres: suppose it’s ‘indie’ in its vaguest terms, but honestly I switch from the most explicit, rowdy punk to Glen Miller and Frank Sinatra, so

Favourite artists: Gorillaz, Dazey & the Scouts, Madness, The Cure, X-Ray Spex, Siouxsie and the Banshees, The Beatles, The Specials, Pavement (etc)

Favourite song(s): Dancing in the Moonlight by Toploader, Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls & Looking Out for You by Joy Again.

Favourite fandoms: BBC Ghosts ofc <3

Hobbies: Writing, what we’ll loosely call drawing, baking, guitar, scrapbooking & photography

Care language you give: honesty it depends, people I’m close with physical touch - but mostly words of affirmation/ acts of service - I spend so long choosing gifts. Like, I might not know the protocol to comfort you but best believe if your sad I’ll write you a fancy letter in the post with trinkets and a wax stamp haha.

Care language you like to receive: Touch. 1000%. Suck at hugs but I’ll gladly walk into you until I’m adequately encapsulated.

Are you an introvert/extrovert/ambivert: introvert, the ‘take up space in the corner because the floor is suddenly the most fascinating thing in the world also I need my headphones now because your voices are punching my brain’ sort. (Potentially also known as neurodiverse).

Morning or night person? My brain’s on a permanent night shift - which isn’t too handy for 9 AM’s, but I can appreciate moonlit walks and herbal tea in bed <3

City, country or suburbs and why? I think suburbs, best of both worlds then.

Favourite time of day and why? Probably 7-8, just enjoy that time of evening :)

Do you have any religious beliefs(don’t have to answer if not comfortable): nah.

What does your ideal family look like to you? It’s me, my boyfriend and whoever else we may meet down the line. Also cats, lots of cats.

Dream future: I’ve finished uni & so has Tommy, I’m recovered and have all the tattoos, piercings, crystals I’ve wanted to get. We live down the south in an Italian-style country house on a hill away from the main village with all our partners & pets. It’s covered in ivy, fairy lights and colours and a huge porch that we can all sit on together with a campfire. We’ve got a garden too full of veg and flowers and herbs.

Dream place to visit: my mate James always fancied Iceland so that’s got me thinking I want to go too!

Favourite type of nature: great orange/brown crunchy woods with little streams & bridges.

Favourite habitat (eg jungle, desert, tundra etc): Forests!

How would you describe yourself in 4 words: Anxious, peaceable, affectionate & imaginative (not to, like, blow my own trumpet haha)

If you could be another thing on earth what would it be: the Trevi Fountain in Rome. I’d have people chucking money at me left, right, and centre!

Favourite type of weather: 15 degrees. Or if we’re being less specific the type of rain I can watch from the window & listen to.

If you could travel anywhere right now where would it be: Brighton. Haven’t been there in a while & I miss it!

Do you have any fears (serious or otherwise): jellyfish, dogs, the sea life centre (specifically the creepy fish in tanks at eye level), failure, abandonment, any form of flying thing be it tennis balls or wasps & colds.

Dream job: if all goes well screenwriting for TV/Film or directing - also teaching, but it would have to be A level or higher so I wouldn’t have to deal with kids who hate the subject. If that fails however I shall take up the position of ‘regional trinket’ anarchic grandpa with a van that looks like something straight out of tank girl.

Would you be a pirate/vampire/cowboy/astronaut/werewolf/wizard/witch/knight/cryptid and why? Guess I’d be a vampire so it’s slightly more socially acceptable to bite things.

(Cheers to anyone who read all of these rambles incidentally)

Tagging @the-boosh-is-loose & anyone else who fancies!! <3

[leilost]

multiples of 2 for the price ask for yourself or any of your ocs (whichever is more comfy!)

Let's do me, Nadji, + human Remi 😋

2. Do you like to use the term queer for yourself? Or just LGBT, etc?

Yeh. It gives me room to just fuck around and let things come and go as they please.

Nadji doesn't. Not that it hasn't resonated with him, he's just never thought about it. And he doesn't feel the need to. He doesn't do a lot of research when it comes to labels, so it usually just boils down to "I be fucking." Or nothing at all. Nobody ever knows who he's actually interested in until they know.

Remi does identify as queer. They're heavy into queer theory, reads all the time, keeps up with the discourse, the labels and new language. Like, they really bout they shit. They see it as an opportunity for folks to ask them "what does that mean to you?" and then they personalize it (similarly to me).

4. Are you "out" to your family and friends?

Me: Yeah, sure.

Nadji: What that mean

Remi: I had no interest in coming out, but they know.

6. (If you're out) do you wish you came out sooner? Later? Or was it the right time?

Nah. If it was up to me, I would have told no one. Coming out is an annoying concept, especially with my experience. I'd rather just let folks find out or just say "yeah, call me that. end of discussion," if we're talking about gender-affirming things like name changes.

Nadji just came home with a dude (more like a lineup of dudes) one day and let his folks figure it out, lol. I think the only person he had a conversation with was his momma, Nadie, and she initiated it. But, it was casual, and her goal was to talk about sex ed so wasn't much of a convo. Nadie is also bisexual so she wouldn't make a big deal out of it anyway. Now, does he wish that he brought dudes he was dating around sooner or later? Ask him and he'd joke and say he wouldn't have brought them around at all, but I think that Nadji has a lot of guilt for how he's treated past partners since he's on the aro spectrum and didn't know what was up until much later. A lot of people just called him a player. They still do. He tries not to think about it.

Remi told everyone about their name change during the summer before their sophomore year of high school. It was a non-negotiable. Either you call me by my name, and respect my pronouns or we not talking (Remi: except for Mama). They have no regrets when they did it. It was the right time because they has figured it out. Plain and simple.

8. Describe your gender without using any words traditionally related to gender:

Me: Outchea

Nadji: Nigga

Remi: It changes weekly with producer tags. Right now it's Mustardonthebeathoe. (Please click the link, I'm crying.)

10. Something that gives you gender euphoria (whether you're cis or trans):

Me: Already answered.

Nadji is a cis man, but he's had a time with gender growing up. People often thought he was a girl when he was little (his hair used to be real long and he has wild lashes), and he's been called pretty his whole life, but then he got that stocky frame and people were like you real macho. He just vibes. He wouldn't be aware of this but he gets a lot of gender euphoria from not having to think about gender at all. He can just be a clown in whatever way that manifests. Also, when P-Funk comes on, he feels it too? Very specific but the funk is just affirming like that, lol.

Remi like wearing those close-fitted tees with the circle neck and real short sleeves with baggy pants. It always does it. Or just a good ole white beater. They also like when they're doing things that makes them feel more connected to their body. They love handy work, love lifting things. Also, wrestling/play-fighting.

12. Name some queer artists/bands or songs you like most:

Imma let my babies have it because I listen to everything the listen to.

Nadji: frank ocean, tyler the creator, steve lacy, blood orange, anddd omar apollo.

Remi: takes a deep breath in moses sumney, serpentwithfeet, cupcakke, mayal, closegood, meshell ndegeocello, jamila woods, swsh, bbymutha, sienna liggins, intro (kenny green was bi), big mama thorton, adrian kain, baby tate, jackie shane, I could go on but I will stop.

14. How do you think other factors like neurodivergency or upbringing have impacted your identity?

It all affects it. I could be here all day talking about this, but I'll let them have it.

Nadji: few seconds delay Oh shit, you mean me or- points to Remi who uses they/them pronouns

Remi: slides in front of Nadji so they're completely blocking him As a black autistic arospec anti-fascist they/them dyke (sights to me nodding in the background) there are many things that work together to help me define my queerness. I don't see it as one identity in the middle with the other identities connected to it by branches. They all exist within, without, around, and beside each other, always in harmony. That is all.

16. Do you attend Pride in person every year?

I used to, but stopped once it got really crowded, intense, and commercialized.

Nadji: Hell yeah. Wouldn't be the same without ya boy, you feel me starts smiling

Remi: as soon as the question is asked No.

18. How old were you when you got to attend your first Pride? Who did you go with?

I have no idea how old I was, but it was over the age of 21 lol. I went with a cousin.

Nadji was 20. He went with his art crew.

Remi went once with a friend once the parade was finishing up, stayed for like 20 minutes, if even that, and dipped. Like, dipped forevermore.

20. Do you feel like you "fit in" with the queer/Pride community overall?

At times I don't, but generally, yeah. Also, the more that I grow into myself, the more I don't mind not fitting in. I've been in a lot of spaces where I've felt and been excluded because of how I look. A lot of times it's been because of white queers not perceiving me as queer-presenting enough. Which is so funny because the events I go to are usually said to be for queer and trans people of color, (and usually said to be free for trans black folx) which I am both. White people often annoy me. This is not new information.

Nadji doesn't care until someone makes him hyperaware of it. It's more so about him feeling left out, period. That's him in any space since he likes the attention.

Remi doesn't, but they've never really cared. And it's not because they're not embraced in queer spaces. It's more so that the way people embrace them isn't embracing them, it's an idea of them. And phew, that is loaded. Perhaps I'll talk more about it another time.

22. How do you usually celebrate Pride month?

Being outside, lol. But living in New York while also having an overnight job is making that difficult at the moment. This is the first year that I'm like loud loud about it because I'm like....openly trans. Majority of my family knows, I'm in the process of getting my name changed legally, and I feel really secure in who I am. I bought my first flag pendant necklace and that's like huge for me. So, yeah. Definitely a really important pride month.

Nadji: We outside. (For the folks who need it, this can mean many of things. And Nadji indeed means all the things.)

Remi: With my folx. (As long as Remi has people they love around, they good.)

24. Do you practice any religion, if so how does it play into your LGBT identity? Do you feel welcomed by your spiritual community?

I don't feel like sharing that right now.

Nadji, nah. He definitely believes in divinity and it has a place in his life, but he hasn't explored it.

Remi, my babyyyy. Yeah, Black American folk magic plays a huge part in their everyday and their identity. As a non-human, which is what they originally started as, they have they ability to communicate with spirits and I associate them with Hoodoo and its practices. Their spiritual community is very few actually. But they don't care because that's not their concern. It never felt like one.

26. How do you feel about the term partner rather than husband/girlfriend/etc?

We loooove it.

28. Do you experience both romantic and sexual attraction? Do you experience them the same across any gender(s) you are attracted to?

I experience sexual attraction, and I'm arospec.

Nadji and Remi both have the same thing going on, but at different capacities.

30. Are you monogamous or polyamorous?

Nadji: chuckles

Remi and I in unison: Relationship anarchy.

32. Do you do arts and crafts? Post a pic of a project you've done:

I NEED TO DO THIS FOR NADJI AT A LATER TIME.

34. What are you needing most right now (what would make your life easier or more fulfilling in regards to existing as queer)?

Anti-trans legislation stresses me out so...yeah.

Nadji: Y'all heard that new Khamari? It's fire.

Remi: shrugs Burn it all and start over.

[ashtraythief]

A little random, but I love how you made Jared the perfect line between good/evil. If he were anymore evil, this relationship would be hard to root for, and he’d be hard to love. But he has morals and ethics, like how you talked about how he wouldn’t date an employee, for example. He has rules (that he usually follows, at least.) He has people that he loves, more than just Jensen. And he really loves them with all he’s got. Like he’d really do anything to protect them. You can really feel how conflicting this is for Jensen because Jared is lovable as hell and treats him really well. How did you walk that line between good/evil?

I let this one linger for a while because I wanted to give a proper answer. Your ask also just made me go super mushy inside because this was exactly what I was going for with Jared so I'm so thrilled that it worked ❤️ (I know that opinions differ on this and some people want to see Jared go down for his evil ways but I'm with you, nonnie 😅)

So, I wanted Jared to be kind of what he wants to be, which is the sheriff of the criminal underworld. It was kind of inspired by the original concept of the mafia. If my very superficial research informed me correctly then originally the sicilian mafia were basically neighborhood protection/policing organizations that evolved into criminal enterprises. But I think in most classic mafia/mob/organized crime stories whether TV or literature, these groups have their own internal rules and moral codes. Which I think you need to function. There's only so far you get with ruling with fear, you also need loyalty, shared values, a real community. Otherwise people just rat each other our or fight internally and you can't build a secure empire. I'd think 😅 so it makes sense for Jared to operate like that from a strategic point but I also didn't want him to be evil. I wanted him to legitimately see himself as the sheriff of Chicago. A guy who does what needs to be done, who dispenses fair justice with the understanding that regular law enforcement can neither protect nor punish people properly, so he needs to do that himself. And since he grew up with a criminal family, he sees crime as something that happens anyway, so might as well do it properly himself. And of course people like that can love too. And I like writing characters that aren't just bad or just good and Jared really gives me a lot of range to explore that. I like about him that he does have a selfish streak and is willing to throw out his rules to protect his people. He'll never kill an innocent. Unless an innocent is a witness in a trial against one of his people. He's fiercely protective of the people he loves (there's probably something there about not getting enough love from his own family after his mom died etc etc. about finding support after going through adolescence on his own etc). He's controlling to protect himself and his people, which is really what a lot of it boils down to, I think with him a lot of the terrible things he does he does for the "good" reason of love. It's terrible in rl, but I was going for Sam and Dean vibes of letting the world burn to save the other. Idk it's grand and dark and romantic and we know it's wrong but in fiction it feels right? Idk I'm just rambling now, but that was my thought process there. Thanks for your lovely ask and indulging my underneath ramblings ❤️

[orangesunsets12]

Answer all 50 questions!

I've never been asked to do all of them before...but challenge accepted!

What are three shows in your watchlist that you’ve been meaning to get to? --- I have so many...but if I had to pick 3 I would say Daredevil, Ms. Marvel, and Marvel's What If...? .

Describe your favorite pair of socks --- Very fuzzy, with white and green stripes.

Do you like smoothies?---Yes, but I don't have them very often.

What do you wear when you have to dress nicely?---Usually dress pants with a plain long sleeve shirt, I don't have many nice clothes lol.

How do you like your eggs?---Scrambled or hard boiled.

What do you use to keep your place when you’re reading a book?--- A Lord of the Rings bookmark I got as a gift, featuring Gollum. I don't know how this became my go to bookmark, but it is now, so...yeah.

What color dominates your closet?--- My closet has a lot of coral colors (oranges, pinks, yellows...)

Do you collect anything? If so, what?---Funko POPs. I started collecting them a couple of years ago, and I can't stop. I have tons of Marvel ones, and my Stranger Things collection of Funko POPs is growing. In total, I have 132 of them...I'm both proud of this number as well as embarrassed by it...

What sounds or scents calm you down?---Any sort of music helps calm me down, but lately Djo's song End of Beginning has been my go to song when I'm stressed. It has such a great vibe...it's by far one of my favorite songs.

What’s your favorite kind of uquiz question? (Lyric, color, aesthetic, etc)---Aesthetic.

Do you wear glasses or contacts?---Glasses

What’s something about your best friend that you love?---My friend is so much like me, so that's something, but I really like how passionate she gets about the stuff that she likes!

Do you prefer to write in pen or pencil?---Pen. Ever since I was forced to write essays in pen at school, it's always my go to writing tool.

What are some places where you feel most at home?---Does a movie theater count? It's one of my favorite places in the world, and I've had so many great memories in movie theaters! It's probably my home away from home. But my room would have to be one too, it has all of my books, Funko POPs, and my dogs are usually in there too, so it's 100% home to me.

Do you have any houseplants? Do any of them have names?--- I have a croton plant that I have named Finnick, in honor of Finnick Odair from the Hunger Games.

Describe your favorite hoodie. How long have you had it? What makes it unique?---My favorite hoodie is a plain orange one, I got it a few weeks ago. It's my favorite color, it's super soft, and it's super baggy on me, which is exactly what I like.

What’s the last thing you ordered online?---I think it was a Funko POP display case, a replacement for a book that was destroyed by melted snow (the joys of living in Canada...)

What’s one historical event that you would have liked to have witnessed?---I don't know if this is considered a "historical event" but I would have loved to have gone to one of Shakespeare's plays. Then I might have been able to understand what was going on lol

What’s your favorite Halloween costume from when you were a kid?--- Probably a popstar.

What kind of math are you best at?---I would say mostly everything but probability. I love math, and was pretty good at it in school, but probability was super hard for me, and I have no clue why. My favorite math is most likely algebra.

What’s your favorite period in art history, your favorite famous work and/or your favorite style of art? If you don’t know any that’s ok!--- My favorite art work is probably The Starry Night by Vincent van Gogh.

Iced or hot drinks?---Iced.

Which songs do you like to sing in the shower?---I don't usually sing in the shower, but if I did I would sing songs that I can just belt out to, like Hold my Hand by Lady Gaga.

Are you a good driver?---....no? I honestly feel like I'm a horrible driver, even though everyone else says otherwise.

Do you have any piercings or tattoos? Are there any that you want?---I have ear piercings, no tattoos, but I really want to get a tattoo one day, I just have no clue of what yet.

Can you cook or bake? If so, what are some of your specialties?---I can't cook or bake, really...and I don't really enjoy it. I do like cutting vegetables, though, so I'll help, but I'll stay far away from the stove.

Do you have any keychains on your home or car keys? Describe them!---No keychains yet, but I'm on the lookout for a nice one!

Can you swim very well? Do you like swimming?---I love swimming, but I wouldn't say that I'm very good at it.

Did you play with Legos as a kid? What was your favorite set?---I LOVED playing with Legos! My favorite set would be Jay's dragon from Ninjago!

Is your closet organized? If so, how?---Nope. Not organized at all.

What’s the last music video you watched?---It'll be Okay by Shawn Mendes

If you could dye your hair any color, regardless of how you think it would look, what color would you choose?---Dark blue or purple

Headphones or earbuds?---Earbuds

Can you read analog clocks?---Yes, but it takes me a minute...

Describe your favorite stuffed animal, either now or from when you were a kid.---A giraffe. That's all it is, a giraffe.

What’s an arcade or table game (air hockey, ping pong, etc) that you’re really good at?---None of them, I guess..?

Do you mind if others are in the kitchen when you’re cooking or baking?---It's fine if there are other people there on the rare occasion that I cook.

What’s one show you watch or musician you listen to that your friends know nothing about?---Djo for a musician, probably Glee for a show.

What was the best part of your day today?--- I get to stay up super late tonight because I don't work tomorrow!

What’s your favorite kind of tree?---Weeping Willow

What scent is your deodorant?---I have no clue and I'm not getting up to check lol.

Do you have any games on your phone? If so, which one(s) is/are your favorite?---I don't have many games on my phone, I never play them, either.

Do you shower with the lights on or off? On...wait, do people shower with them off???

What do you do with spare change?---Spend it on iced coffee

Do you have good handwriting?---I don't think so, but it's readable, at least

What’s the last thing a friend recommended to you that you looked into and actually liked?- The Flash TV show!

Do you like to go on walks?---Sometimes, but only when the weather is good and I have music.

Do you have a favorite plate or bowl?---Not really.

What’s your favorite thing to do when it’s raining?---Watch Netflix

Describe your perfect sleeping conditions---With too many blankets to count layered on top of me, like, way too many.

Thanks for the ask, this was super fun! And thanks to @idiot-stevie for the asks as well, I combined it in this big post!

50 Questions Just Because

[rosequartzandrosaries]

I live in Utah, and back when I was still a practicing Catholic (right around the time I started getting into paganism again after a brief interest in hs) some missionaries came to the door. I’m terrible at saying no, so we had a discussion on LDS vs Catholicism, and something I noticed was that they kept repeating the same talking points.

As someone who went to Catholic school from Pre-K to 12th grade, I know a lot about Catholicism. And one thing I know is this: most modern Catholics don’t evangelize. I don’t know if it’s a cultural thing or officially stated, but they tend to prefer to lead by example instead of go out and preach specifically to convert. (Something else I noticed, is that white Catholics give off Protestant and Born Again vibes. It’s weird, I don’t like it.)

Because Catholics don’t really go out preaching, we aren’t taught a script to use to try to convince people to join. Usually, if you ask a Catholic a question, they will give you a genuine (though not necessarily correct) answer. If there are multiple Catholics around, this could lead into a debate, because most Catholics don’t know or care about the official catechism (in my experience, if they don’t like what the catechism says, they tend to treat it as optional or up to interpretation).

When I was in discussion with the lds missionaries, none of their answers were genuine. They weren’t taught to doubt or question or debate their beliefs in order to develop a deeper understanding of them. They were taught to regurgitate basic catch-all answers when asked any question they didn’t know the answer to, and most boiled down to “come to a service and then you’ll get your answer”.

And when I asked them questions about their specific point of view, not about their religion’s overall beliefs, they still couldn’t answer. They kept going back to “well the church teaches…” I didn’t want to know what the church taught, I wanted to know your opinion.

Anyway, I just wanted to let y’all know that, if you’re genuinely interested in learning about the lds point of view if the missionaries come to your house, you’re going to be frustrated with their answers. Be patient with them. Don’t be mean. They’re just kids who don’t know why they believe what they believe, they just know “because the church elders said so”.

Also, completely unrelated, when I was speaking to them, I recited the prayer of St. Francis, and one of them said “that’s a great prayer of thanksgiving”. I am genuinely worried for his comprehension skills. It’s not a prayer of thanksgiving? Not once does the prayer say “thank you”? It’s a prayer of service, asking God to work through the person, so they may help those in need and bring genuine comfort and hope and goodness to the world.

Idea for all you pagans and witches out there: If you get Jehovah’s Witnesses or Mormons or those sorts knocking at your door, instead of politely turning them away, don on your most witchy, out-there, non-christian-friendly accessories and attire and open the door.

Be cheerful and welcoming! Say you’re more then open to chat about spirituality, take their pamphlets, try to show them any books of your own you have, hell, even invite them inside for a cup of tea by your altar to Odin.

I don’t know how it’ll go down, but I’m almost certain the interaction will be funny af.

[ukulele-mixtape]

last night i finished my sa2 playthrough and i will say it holds up substantially more than i remember and initially gave it credit for...!

so i wanna ramble about it for a bit!

it's definitely the game i see the most replay value for, as the games past this era really don't house that same level of difficulty for those A ranks. (though i heard unleashed is really challenging, i just don't have a way to play it atm)

it's quite comical going straight into sa2 right after sa1 bc the tone is so drastically different it's almost like whiplash. having sa1 start w sonic chilling on a rooftop while the cops are racing to fight a water demon with guns and then hanging out by the pool the next day in comparison to the literal next game being that same blue gumball son of a bitch running from the cops while committing mass amounts of property damage (or if you're starting the dark story first, it's eggman breaking into a highly secure government facility, kicking ass and taking names) is the funniest contrast in the world.

girlie it's insane back to back. and it gets even worse when you realize the game that comes next in the lineup is fucking heroes. complete tonal whiplash and i wouldn't have it any other way.

as an answer to my initial question on whether or not knuckles' stages would hold up better for me in sa2 or sa1, i honestly still can't really say. i think both are still very fun and chill, though i kinda disliked rouge's stages a bit. aesthetically they're great but in practice i'm still kinda mad that emerald pieces can move around when you're trying to fight against a wind current in attempts to catch them.

what surprised me the most was how much i ended up vibing w eggman's mech stages in particular! not so much tails' and i genuinely can't seem to figure out what the difference is, but i'm chalking it up to it being the novelty of being the bad guy and just fucking up government property. that shit ruled even if the controls boil down to "lock on targets and just shoot them". gaining the most points out of a chain of baddies is really fun!!!

sonic/shadow stages are lit, but that's to be expected. shadow having only 4 stages to sonic's 6(?) still makes me laugh so hard when he is literally why anyone bought this game in the first place. having such a fan favorite be shafted in the literal game he debuted will never not be a Certified Sonic Team Classic. (sonic's crazy gadget can eat my ass tho why did it take me so long to get that one light speed dash section right goddamnit)

i will say that i do suck shit at sonic games in general so having the level design and ranking system in particular actually mean something is quite refreshing to look back on. i'm hoping maybe with the success of frontiers they can get that speedrun type level design to work better so those ranks will actually matter. i shouldn't be getting an s rank on a stage i fell off of. sa2 will spit in your face if you so much as stub a toe on a GUN mech. it rules.

overall, fun game! i think the story at it's base level is serviceable without any hindsight of the other games that came after it, and shadow barely being involved also kinda makes me laugh given how popular this man is. but it also works too bc he spends most of his time just kinda gathering the emeralds and watching as eggman does the work of activating that eclipse canon for him. he's just lying in wait watching the world burn and i think that's kinda badass.

wish the story would have actually delved into maria and especially gerald's stuff a bit more as the impact of their story isn't really as put together as it should be. i don't think getting hindsight off of instruction manuals and interviews is a good way to get your main antagonist's motivation across, but it's a nitpick i can live w bc i know ESRB ratings are kinda weird. (also his arc afterward is pretty dope)

i probably will tackle heroes next over the weekend so i'm very excited to continue this abrupt self induced journey...!

[solarsong-writes]

Hiii I'm so glad u made a Tumblr! I love picking knmf authors' brains hehe. Here's a question! How do u get ideas on what to write for knmf? :3

-mascfuyu anon

Awww thanks for the warm welcome!! My brain also likes being picked and this is a fun question to answer! :D

For me so far, my story ideas come from something triggering brainrot (To Walk Where the Light Shines, Sinking Into A Summer Night) or simply writing the AUs I love (Blend My Song Into Nonexistent Love, Consume the Shape of My Dreams, Amongst Flowers Without Names). 

I think To Walk Where the Light Shines is self-explanatory because of the Saying Goodbye to My Persona event and knowing I would go crazy from simply waiting for the next event – but to give a little more detail on the other ones (brace yourself): 

Sinking Into a Summer Night was directly due to the full version of Kimi no Yoru Wo Kure coming out (and has quickly risen to becoming one of my most favorite N25 commissioned songs). It was the perfect blend of bittersweet I like in my music and I got so many feelings from it that I needed to express it in some manner. So I thought about how I could stay true to the song and keep that cozy but bittersweet vibe in a fic.

Blend My Song Into Nonexistent Love was because of my great love for soulmate AUs, and as I was making dinner one night I thought “Haha, the Empty SEKAI is gray so if there was that seeing color soulmate thing going on then the characters would probably get really confused” – followed immediately by that very vivid scene where Kanade and Mafuyu make eye contact for the first time popping up in my mind. I knew at that point I wanted to write a fic around that one scene. Consume the Shape of My Dreams naturally followed from this fic too. 

I’ll skip elaborating on Amongst Flowers Without Names for now due to potential spoilers, but feel free to ask me when I'm finished with the fic! 

For how I come up with ideas for my Kanamafu AU fics in general though, it really all boils down to one question: 

“What would it mean for the world, society, and the characters if X exists?” 

For example, we take something like being unable to see colors until you meet your soulmate. What would happen if 50% of people couldn't see color by the age of 25? They'd have to find some way to navigate the society without color vision and this is a substantial population we're talking about. So there are some things that would become more accessible. Traffic lights would probably change to be both color and symbol based. Does that mean that people will not be allowed to drive until they can see colors? Probably not, because people will still have jobs and they do need a means of transportation. I essentially trace the ripple effects of one change, as well as how my own worldbuilding decisions would impact things further. I repeat this type of thought process for anything else I think may be relevant in the AU and the story kind of writes itself at that point. 

I could go super in-depth about the worldbuilding behind my soulmate AU, but I'll save that for another post if people are interested! (I could gush all day about soulmate AUs) 

Tl;dr: My fic ideas spawn from either me about to go crazy if I don't express/write it or because I love a certain AU and then examine how the one premise would alter the world as well as how the characters would navigate it. 

[russilton]

Mark, buckle up. 😭

I'm such a sucker for playlists, I'm already currently making my way through the ones you linked. I absolutely L O V E the upbeat art playlist, it screams of Gewis podiums and happiness and success and love and attraction, y e s! Britcedes supremacy & good vibes. Good stuff. 🎉

IWLYN, that's the kind of thing that almost makes me chocke up a little. Sad and hopeful, raw, romantic but also angsty.

Actually, let me go into a bit of detail real quick - Fools is such a Lewis POV song, right. I've seen that one in a lot of playlists before and it fits and it hurts everytime.

Such good friends, it has to end, it always does. That's the way life is.

Do we take that risk?

And so it all boils down to this. We've got our aim, but we might miss. We are too fragile just to guess.

And I've been in this place before.

There's want, but there's also fear and apprehension. It's about the damage of past experiences fighting against the hopefulness for a good outcome...

Wonder came on directly afterwards and, for my money, that's such a George POV song, isn't it. There's a different kind of vulnerability here, one that really feels younger. This one doesn't speak of past hurt that has left some lasting effects but it does speak of insecurity. Hesitancy and self doubt clashing with admiration and so much longing, sooo much longing. And persistance.

You're completely off limits, for more reasons than just one. But I can't stop. You're the centre of attention, you control the atmosphere. You're so busy being busy, I don't want to interfere. But I can't stop.

Also: The future's far less daunting walking into it with you - that's the most Britcedes line to ever britcedes, come on.

(Song rec-ish, what are your thoughts on Little Did I Know by Julia Michaels/Willow by TS? Two of my Top 10 Gewis songs and I can't help but think that they fit the vibe of the IWLYN playlist very well)

I have yet to listen to the RB AU playlist, but I've already seen that Do I Wanna Know is on it - of course it is. So on brand. I also feel like you've hit the spot with I Don't Know Why. Because yes, that's the vibe of this story. And Bleeding Out? COME ON. Feels! So many feels!

Don't worry, I'm not going to write an entire thesis on every single one of your song choices and the different interpretations and scenarios that pop into my head when considering them. But. I COULD. They're such good choices.

(Btw, do you also listen to music whilst writing or only when drawing?)

This ask is SO out of proportion, please. Please be nice to me, I'm just excited, I swear I'll leave you alone. 😂 Before I run I will exploit you, though. I really want to tag @thatsmemate here and now and ask where the playlist for her AU is, because. BECAUSE.

Ok bye 👋🏻

Gonna stick my whole answer under a read more because this post got v long and I already spam the dash enough

I love your analysis of fools and wonder. Those songs and sick of loosing soulmates are my go to angsty otp songs, because they’re so… tentative. They’re about longing and TRYING for more. And that’s kind of what George and Lewis are for each other and for racing. It’s about trying in the face of uncertainty. I used to listen to them on repeat as I read fanfic, just over and over.

I think you’ll like run for cover, it’s mostly songs about antagonising each other, pushing boundaries but still being drawn back together. But there’s also some that are just about the cost of perfection; those are about how George feels like working for redbull is like having a knife held to his throat, constantly on the edge of falling. Lewis is all about playing with fire, red bull is the stinging burn.

I very much like your song recs and they have now both been added. Kimy will be delighted I’ve finally added a Taylor song lol. I’m not very musically educated, I get most of my songs from either the radio (I listen to 80’s radio with my dad a lot), exercise playlists, or YouTubers using it for montage music or animated music videos. And tiktok, a lot comes from tiktok. Sue me. The rest will be my dads influence. He likes Coldplay, muse, imagine dragons, arctic monkeys, and therefore, so do I lmao.

I’d say I actually listen to purely music while I write MORE than when I draw. I can watch anything while I draw, I spend a lot of time watching the Simpsons or family guy on marathon while I draw because it’s a very brain off kind of activity. Part of the little cocktail of Autism and Adhd in my brain means I find it hard to do ONE thing at a time, or my brain gets too loud. Because art is a physical thing, I can watch tv while I work. When I write it needs more brain power so I find it harder to have TV on. I used to have to write in complete silence and I *hated* it. I also find a good music playlist now keeps me on track for the mood I wanted, which in AIWLYN and Run for Cover is really important. Otherwise I just use the good vibes list hahaha

This ask is not out of proportion, and don’t you dare leave me alone, trust me this is the exact kinda shit that gets people like me clapping excitedly. I LOVE people talking about things I’ve worked on or created, it’s like a drug. Why do you think I’m always begging for tags and comments! It’s! My! Shit!