#think the dark circles are a permanent feature for both of us

[j-eryewrites]

Infected

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Word Count: 12.7k

Disclosure: I do not own the plot or the characters from The Last of Us. This is a “what if” fic based on the HBO television series and the game The Last of Us.

Warnings: Character deaths, canon typical violence, zombies, detailed descriptions of gore, detailed descriptions of violence, crude language, mental issues, unhinged characters, usage of firearms and weapons, (let me know if I missed any!)

Authors note: finished this at 3.00 am in the morning, but I don’t care! hope y’all enjoy this chapter!

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Piper should have been tired, yet there she sat. Her back was stiff, tall, and defiant. Hell, even Joel could admit to himself he was exhausted and sore from the night before. Not to mention, the throbbing pain in his hand. Joel felt as if he had a million splinters stuck deep within his skin. Each time he moved his hand, the pain would spark a chain reaction. At least the swelling had gone down. That was a good sign. A sign he would have taken notice of if he wasn’t so busy staring down the teenager in front of him. 

There was no indication in her stance and glare that she was at all affected by the events of the night before. The only sign of otherwise was the dark circles under her eyes. A biological betrayal. Joel hadn’t noticed it before, but the more he observed Piper the more he began to think that those dark circles may be a permanent feature on her face. Yes, he remembered clearly now. She had those same dark circles when they first met. However, this time, they were a few shades deeper than before. Missing a whole night’s rest would do that to you. Joel was all too familiar with the dark circles that grew under his own brown eyes. It was hard to get a good night's rest when it felt like everything was out to get you. It didn’t help that it was actually the case. One wrong move. One extra second of sleep could mean death. 

“If you stare at her any longer you may implode, Joel,” Tess muttered. Her voice filled to the brim with sarcasm. 

He didn’t respond to her. Only kept his eyes on the girl in front of them. 

Tess sighed and followed his gaze. From her perspective, she saw the falter in Piper’s posture. Her posture was slumped over ever so slightly, though, from Joel’s view, it would be mistaken as perfect. The young girl's body looked about ready to collapse to the floor in a deep sleep, however, Tess knew that in cases like these, the mind won over the body. 

It reminded her of her son when he was a toddler. The argument of ‘I’m not tired’ flashed in her mind. Her kid didn’t know any better. He wanted to stay up and not miss a single thing, but as a knowing mother, she knew that rest would allow him to experience the world untainted from the grumpiness that came when one was tired. 

So Tess wasn’t surprised when she told Piper the exact same thing she’d tell her son. 

“You know, life’s just a bit more pleasant when you get some sleep. Trust me,” Tess said softly. She knew it was best not to push this subject. “Why not get some shut-eye before your sister wakes up? We’ll stand guard.”

“Thanks for the offer, but I’d rather not place my life or my sister’s life into the hands of someone who got us caught by FEDRA last night.” Piper kept her gaze on Joel as she replied. Her genuine tone had the same snarkiness that was present in her sister’s voice. 

Tess chuckled at the encounter. “Suit yourself.” She sat back in her chair and looked between Joel and Piper once more. The two were more similar than she’d like to admit. They had that same tired yet proud look in their eyes. Their bodies were on guard in front of those they protected. The unwavering stubbornness that Tess had grown all too comfortable with was apparent in both Joel’s and Piper’s demeanour. 

Ellie stirred awake from behind her sister, causing Joel to tighten his grip on the gun. Instinctively, Piper moved her body so that it defended more of her sister. Tess sighed. Joel wasn’t making this easier and neither was Piper who sat even more on edge, any sign of weakness in her posture was long gone. 

“Morning,” Tess called out. She saw how Ellie wiped the sleep from her eyes only for them to land on Joel’s gun. Great now, both girls were on edge. Way to go Joel. 

“Do I look like I'm infected?” Ellie mumbled bringing up the elephant in the room. 

Joel grunted, leaving Tess to interpret for the girl. “Show us your arm.”

“Yeah, it's not getting any worse, is it?” Ellie spat as he pulled up her sleeve to display the bite mark on her arm. She wasn’t liking the idea of waking up to the threat of a bullet in her body. 

Tess nodded allowing Ellie to return her sleeve to normal. 

It was quiet in the building and Ellie didn’t like the quiet. Her eyes darted across the room and widened in remembrance. They were out of the QZ. In the open city. 

“If we're out in the open city, why aren't we getting swarmed?” Ellie asked. It was her dying question. After all the rumours she had heard floating around the QZ, you couldn’t blame the girl for being curious. 

“Don't worry about that,” Tess replied. It only served as fuel to the flame. Ellie opened her mouth to ask another question when Piper cut her off. 

“Well, I'm gonna,” Piper growled. It was then Ellie noticed the tension in the air. A shiver ran up her spine as she saw the glare her sister was sending Joel. Joel’s glare was just as harsh. Man was Ellie glad to not be on the receiving end of either of them. 

Tess cocked her brow. It was her turn to be curious. “What was Marlene doing with an infected kid?”

“She’s not infected,” Piper spat. Her voice was seething with anger and only served as an instigator in the battle between Joel and Piper. 

“She found me after I was bitten,” Ellie blurted, hoping to diffuse the tension. 

Tess moved her attention to Ellie. “And she didn't shoot you.” For a moment Tess could swear there was a new line on Piper’s forehead. 

“Clearly not. She locked me up and had her guys test me every day to see if I was getting sick,” Ellie explained. 

Now this interested Tess. “Test you how?”

Ellie sighed and rolled her eyes. “I have to pee…”

“Test you... how?” Tess repeated. 

“They'd make us count to 10 and hold out our hand and then keep it steady. But, you know, I think what really impressed them was the fact that we didn't turn into fucking monsters. There. Happy?” Piper spat. 

There was a momentary pause in the conversation. Joel’s eyes narrowed and Tess’ brow furrowed. Did their ears hear right?

“Wait, both of you?” Tess finally enchanted her confusion. 

Without another word, Piper yanked back her jacket, just as Ellie had done before, and presented her arm for the adults to see. 

The wound looked different from Ellie’s, at least to Tess it did. No prominent veins were spiralling out from the scabbed-over wound. In all honesty, it just looked like a normal bite mark. The only thing that dismayed Tess was the depth of the wound. It was deep. Something that would only happen if there was a determined force behind it. Something she’d only seen from Infected. 

“Now can I please?” Ellie grumbled. She was squeezing her legs tight to her body. 

Tess took one more look at Piper’s arm before dismissing Ellie to use the makeshift bathroom. “Fine. Back there. You can find a spot. And here. Tear out a few pages.” She chucked a magazine she had found to Ellie who caught it with ease. 

“There's not gonna be anything bad in here?” Ellie asked as she tiptoed over to the room Tess had pointed to earlier. 

“Just you,” Piper smirked back at her sister. 

“Oh, funny,” Ellie responded. 

Tess smiled. That simple action reminded her that they were just kids. Kids who were doing the best they could with the world handed to them. Kids who were bit and infected, but still kids. A grumbling beside her shook Tess out of her nostalgic trance. 

“Broken. Maybe a hairline. It'll heal fast,” Joel mumbled just loud enough for Tess to hear. He was cradling his hand. Nasty bruises had formed along his knuckles. The skin was an angry red as Joel’s free hand brushed over the injury. 

“She made it through the fuckin' night, Joel. Apparently so did Piper.” Tess said in disbelief. These girls were the fucking future. They were something she hadn’t had in a long time. Hope. They were hope. 

“It doesn't matter,” Joel scoffed. “It's gonna happen sooner or later. All right? We're still close to the wall. We sneak them back into the QZ. We find a different way to get the battery.” 

“This is our best shot. We take them back to the QZ, someone's gonna notice their arms, they're gonna scan them...then they'll kill them. They kill those girls.” Tess couldn’t help the desperation that slipped into her voice. 

“Well, better them than us. You need to stop talkin' about these kids like they’ve got some kinda life in front of them.” Joel said. 

Tess ignored him. Joel was never one to believe. It would break his stubborn ass if he ever did believe in anything. Ellie emerged from the back room and sat down next to her sister. She nudged Piper’s shoulder and nodded toward the backpack. 

“You two hungry? You can share some of ours.” Tess offered. Joel grimaced as Tess raised the food out to the girls. Fuck, Joel thought Tess. She was going to hope no matter what he said. 

“Thanks,” Piper replied, her voice empty of gratitude. “Marlene sent us with our own.” Just then she handed a sandwich to Ellie and retrieved one for herself. The two girls didn’t waste time digging in. 

Tess smelt an old scent that hit her nose. Her stomach began to grumble at the thought. “Is that chicken?”

“Yeah,” Ellie replied. Her mouth was full of food. “Marlene said they get it from smugglers.” She paused. “...Guess not you guys.”

Tess was surprised when she heard Joel’s voice speak up. “Hey. Hey! Why...why are you so important to Marlene? And don't lie to me or we'll take you back.” 

“You take us back, you don't get your battery.” Piper plainly said. 

“You heard that?” Joel asked in disbelief. 

Tess butt into the conversation before it could sour again. “Then you must've heard that he wants to shoot you too.” She stood up from her seat despite Joel’s protest and crouched down in front of the girls. “I'm gonna talk to you two like you are adults. Okay?”

Ellie immediately nodded in understanding. Piper just glared at Tess, who glared back until the girl nodded as well. Tess needed them to understand. 

“Joel and I aren't good people. We're doin' this for us because, apparently, you're worth something. But we don't know what you're worth if we don't know what we have. So answer my question.”

In a quiet voice, Ellie muttered, “She told me not to tell anybody, and now I'm telling the first people that I…” Ellie was cut off by Piper. 

“There's a Firefly base camp somewhere out west…” Piper explained. 

“…with doctors. They're working on a cure,” Ellie finished. 

“Mm-hm. I've heard this before,” Joel grumbled. 

“And whatever happened to me...to us...is the key to finding the vaccine,” Ellie replied. Her voice was unsteady but full of belief. 

Joel was taken aback. Did this girl really believe it? “That's what this is? We've heard this a million times. Vaccines, miracle cures. None of it works. Ever.” 

“Fuck you, man. I didn't ask for this.” Ellie cried. She was hurt, but so was Joel. 

“You and me both. This isn't gonna end well, Tess. We need to go back.” Joel instructed. 

Tess turned her efforts back to Joel. “Let's just finish it. It doesn't matter if she is or she isn't what the Fireflies say. If they believe that she is then...we get what we want.”

Joel narrowed his eyes at Ellie. “If she so much as twitches–” Joel warned. 

Suddenly there is a loud screech followed by hollow clicking noises. 

Immediately Piper, Tess, and Joel all turn to Ellie. “Don't,” they say in unison. The power of their voices makes even Ellie pause for a moment.

“Okay. Okay? Okay.” Ellie receded back behind her sister, but not before catching sight of Joel’s gun. 

“Can I have a gun?” Ellie asked. 

Once again three voices fill the air. “Absolutely not–No–Ellie, don't even think about it.”

“Okay, Jesus! Fine. I'll have to throw a fuckin' sandwich at them.” Ellie groaned. She didn't like the idea of having three versions of her sister. One Piper was enough. 

“Let’s go,” Tess told the two girls. 

Without another word, the two of them pack up their bags and in one motion, swing them over their shoulders. Joel grunted as he lifted the makeshift barricade from the door. The shelf was heavy and put an unnecessarily large amount of weight on his injured hand. It didn’t take long for the barricade to be moved and the door to open. 

Light from the sun flooded into the room and for a moment it looked as if Joel had disappeared into the light. 

“It's clear.” Joel’s gruff voice started before he fully submerged himself in the daylight. 

While some light found its way through the cracks back in the building, it could not prepare Piper’s eyes for the vast amount of light outside. Her eyes closed shut before opening once again. Her pupils shrunk as they adjusted to the early morning light. 

“Whoa,” Ellie gasped in disbelief. 

“Yeah, looks different in the daylight, huh?” Tess said. 

Tess was right. Things did look different illuminated by the sun. Piper could clearly see the decaying buildings that were overgrown by vines and weeds. The greens swirled around the greys and browns on the buildings. She could even see some trees that poked their way through the giant holes in the roofs. Underneath her feet was a road cracked and crumbled. There was barely a hint of the yellow and white paint that once outlined the streets. Cars were rusted over and doors were forever glued shut. On top of it all was a layer of dew. The rain storm from last night left its mark as the plants and wildlife try to soak in as much water as they can before the sun's heat dries it up. 

Joel let the two girls take in the view. It’s not every day you get to see the ghost that humanity left behind. “We should get movin'.”

The group trudged along the roads. Broken glass from the buildings glittered as the sun reflected off of it in just the right spot. They twinkled almost like stars in the night sky. As they journeyed deeper into the city, more and more buildings made friends with the ground, no longer having the strength to stand as tall as they were designed. In the road ahead, sat a crater. The indented in as the grey shade of the road turned a deep black. 

“It's like a fucked-up moon!” Ellie cried out in awe. 

“Ellie, be careful,” Piper warned as she saw her sister approach the crater. Her legs pushed up onto the side of the crater to look down into the vast hole. 

“Is this where they bombed?” Ellie asked. She picked up a stray rock and dropped it into the crater. Her brown eyes followed as it scraped across the ground finally resting in the center of the circle. 

“Yeah. They hit most of the big cities like this,” Tess explained. “They had to slow the spread somehow. Worked here, but it...didn't in most places.” She walked over to Ellie to help nudge her along. Then she stopped and so had Joel. Piper and Ellie shared a puzzled look. 

“So, the State House is across there. It's about a 10-minute walk if you could go straight.” Tess noted. 

“So?” Piper asked. 

“Long way or short way?” Joel replied. His question was directed towards Tess. 

“I mean, it's the long way or the "we're fuckin' dead" way,” Tess stated. 

“Well, I vote the long way just based on that limited information,” Ellie muttered. 

Tess and Joel ignored Ellie’s comment and continued to talk amongst themselves. Piper, just for a moment, noticed the similarity to a book she had read. Something about how parents will converse amongst themselves as if the kids aren’t even there. But to think that, Joel and Tess would have to be parents and Piper and Ellie the kids and together they’d make a family. Once again, an idea that Piper wholeheartedly disagreed with. 

“We have to check it from the hotel first,” Joel directed Tess. 

“Okay,” Tess replied, she looked back at Ellie and Piper. For what reason Piper wasn’t sure. 

Soon after, Joel readjusted his hold on his gun before taking a step forward. Then another and another. There was the crunch of gravel under Piper’s shoes and she found herself and the group walking once more. 

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Her feet were sore and the soles of her shoes were worn. The sun beat down on her back and a smooth layer of sweat had formed on her back. It was making her shirt uncomfortably stick to her skin. Her socks rubbed against the back of her heels scraping against the sensitive skin. She imagined it was turning a shade of red from all the friction. Ellie was soon to change the way her weight balanced on her feet. Toe to heel instead of heel to toe. This seemed to ease the friction, however, it produced a dull pain in her feet. One that seemed only to be relieved with a good complaint or two. “Why aren’t we already fucking there?” Ellie groaned. Already she felt a relief just sharing. 

“You'll know it when we're close,” Tess replied. 

“I didn't know last time,” Ellie muttered. 

“How did you get bit?” Tess asked in an attempt to distract the young girl. 

“Ellie–” Piper whispered, but Ellie interrupted her. 

“You know the old mall in the QZ?” Ellie asked. She didn’t care if her sister was as cautious as a mouse around cats. Ellie liked Tess and her instincts told her that Tess could be trusted. Almost. 

“The one that's sealed off and boarded up, and no one's supposed to go in... ever? That one?” Tess clarified. She looked back at the two girls unsure that they would have been stupid enough to go in there. 

Piper lowered her gaze to the ground. She stuck a foot out to kick around a small pebble on the highway. She was adamant about not looking at Tess, Joel, or Ellie for that matter. Her shoulders slumped over and Joel took notice of how quiet it had gotten. 

“Whatever. I snuck in. Wanted to see what it was like. Didn't think there was gonna be anything in there, and then one just came at me outta nowhere. Thought I got away, but…” Ellie’s voice grew quiet. Maybe she didn’t trust Tess enough with this information. The blood. The pain. The screams were all too fresh. Ellie knew that if she closed her eyes she would see Piper. She would see her sister tear into her skin. She would replay the scene. Ellie felt sick thinking about how the Piper she had grown up with disappeared when she was bitten. Piper was desperate and afraid. But what disturbed Ellie more was the thought that grew in the back of her head. Something in her knew what would have happened to Piper if Ellie had turned. 

Tess’s voice broke Ellie out of her thoughts. “So it was just you in there, alone?”

“Yeah–I mean Piper was with me, but yeah. Just us two,” Ellie mumbled. 

Tess halted. She turned to Ellie and Piper. There was a curious look on her face. “How old are you?” Tess asked the two girls. 

“Fourteen.”

“Seventeen.” Piper and Ellie said at the same time. 

In Tess’s eyes there flashed a hidden respect for the girls. “Wow. Well, I mean, you got some balls on you, sister.” 

“Thanks,” Ellie muttered to the two of them. She didn’t know about Piper, but Ellie grew to like Tess. The woman wasn’t a complete asshole like Joel was. In fact, she was almost like a mother. Almost. 

Piper had told Ellie what she remembered of their mother. Blue eyes. Light-coloured hair. Piper wasn’t sure if it was blonde or light brown, but Ellie was confident it was light brown. After all, Ellie and her sister’s hair was brown. When Ellie was young, she liked to imagine what her mom would look like based on the vague description Piper had. For some reason, the image that came to mind was Piper. An older version of the course, but it was still Piper. Piper had always been there for Ellie. She stepped up when no one else would. But now as Ellie was thinking about it, the image of her mom changed into one that looked like Tess. 

At first, Ellie disliked the idea. There were no similarities…except that Tess had light brown hair and blue eyes. Just like Piper had told her. Tess was kind in her own way. She would walk next to Ellie and talk to her. Hell, Tess even stood up to Joel for the girls and offered her some of her food. 

Well, shit. 

Ellie shook her head to toss the thoughts out. She can’t get attached. She’s just cargo. Tess will leave just like everyone else. But it couldn’t stop Ellie from hoping.  

“Nobody's gonna be comin' after you, right? Like, Mom, Dad ...boyfriend?” Tess wondered. 

The momentary lap in Piper’s character dissipated. She snickered under her breath as if having anyone out there who would care enough about the two girls was just as possible as pigs flying. “Dead, non-existent, and no. No one gives a shit about anyone other than themselves,” Piper scoffed. 

She didn’t notice the flash of sadness in Tess’s eyes as she heard the teen’s response. “Yet you care about your sister,” Tess noted. 

Piper’s jaw clenched as she raised her gaze to glare right at Tess. “That’s different,” Piper hissed. 

“Right,” Tess replied. She knew when to not bite back. 

Ellie, sensing the tension in her sister’s attitude, chose to change the subject. “Everyone said the open city was crazy. Like, swarms of Infected running around everywhere.”

Again Piper scoffed and rolled her eyes. She kicked the pebble she was playing with so hard it cracked a rusted car’s window. “It’s fucking propaganda that’s what it is. Want us to stay inside the QZ. Keep us to be their soldiers and dogs.”

Suddenly Joel spoke up from behind the group. “No…not exactly like that.” He eyed Piper carefully just like Tess did moments before though with a tinge of appreciation. Piper was right after all.

“You know, people like to tell stories,” Tess explained. 

“So, there aren't Super-Infected that explode fungus spores on you?” Ellie wondered. She twirled around on her heel. Her hands made what seemed to be an explosion, as she created sound effects. Her eyes went wide as her hands flew apart. 

“Shit, I hope not,” Tess laughed. 

“Or ones with split-open heads that see in the dark like bats?” Ellie continued acting out what she thought each Infected would look like. 

The laughter faded from Tess’s voice. “Uhh…”

Suddenly there was an inhuman screech. It echoed off the decaying buildings. The noise got louder and louder as the sound travelled. The group froze. Ellie’s eyes widened. 

Piper clenched her eyes shut and clenched her fists. Her nails dug into the palms of her hands as she slowed her breathing. Her nails pierced her skin and the warm trickling of blood forced Piper to open her eyes once more. She quickly looked around the group. No one was paying attention to her. Piper quickly brushed her hands on her jacket, wiping the blood away. 

“What was that?” Ellie asked. There was a tinge of curiosity in her voice. 

“Let's keep movin',” Joel instructed. He looked to Tess who nodded in agreement. As the group continued on, Joel couldn’t help how his sight moved down to Piper’s hands. What really drew his attention was the tiny punctures in her skin that were bleeding. Tearing his eyes away from Piper’s hands, Joel fought to keep the thoughts of concern that popped up into his mind. 

This kid was cargo. Nothing more. Nothing less. 

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When Joel and Tess discussed going to the hotel, Ellie and Piper didn’t think much. However, the two teens couldn’t help the gasp that left their mouths as they took in the building in front of them. Tess chuckled to herself upon seeing the girl’s reactions. While Piper’s reaction was a bit more subtle than Ellie’s, Tess knew that the young girl was still excited. 

The hotel was overgrown with nature. Vines snaked up the walls. Surprisingly, most of the glass windows were still intact. The layers of dust that accumulated after twenty years reflected the midday sunlight creating an unearthly glow. It was almost like the hotel had a halo of light surrounding it. Inside was even better. The main floor had flooded and was transformed into what Piper imagined a jungle would look like. Trees shot out from the murky water and their green leaves reached towards the sunlight that trickled through the gaping holes and cracks in the hotel’s ceiling and walls. Piper could hear the sound of trickling water and the croaking of…frogs? 

“You've gotta be kidding me! Ya ever stay in a place like this?” Ellie exclaimed. She spun around in a circle as she gazed up at the ceiling and the treetops. 

“Uh, no, a little out of our league,” Tess replied. 

“How do you even know what this is?” Joel asked. 

“Have you heard of books?” Ellie said with as much sass as her small figure could produce. “Wait, are we going in there?” She wondered. Her voice was no longer filled with sass and instead was replaced with fear. 

“Yeah, we gotta get to the stairwell on the other side,” Tess explained. 

“Well, I…” Ellie eyed the murky water. There was no bottom in sight and it looked deep. There was no way to tell what could be lurking in there. “...I don't know how to swim.” She looked to Piper and Tess for reassurance. 

“Seriously?” Joel shot back. His tone was full of disbelief. 

“Do you think we have pools in the QZ?” Ellie retorted. 

Joel rolled his eyes. “No, smart ass. I mean…” He jumped from the steps and into the water. 

Ellie’s eyes widened and her cheeks flushed red with embarrassment. “I don't know how I was supposed to know that.” She said defensively. 

Piper came up beside her sister and placed a hand on Ellie’s shoulder. “It’s okay, Ellie. Do you have your extra pair of socks?”

Ellie grinned and rolled her eyes. There was the Ellie that Piper knew. “Yes, Mom…” Ellie said. 

“Good,” Piper nodded before stepping into the water. It rose just below her hips. There was one thing for sure, Piper did not like being wet. She hated how the water sloshed in her boots. She especially didn’t like the feeling of her socks being drenched. To make matters worse. Her pants were sticking to her legs making it even harder to move through the water. What Piper didn’t like most was that she was slow. The water dampened her speed and reflexes. Something that made her vulnerable. 

“This is so gross!” Ellie exclaimed. She, unlike her sister, was enjoying the experience. Ellie dropped her hands into the water and splashed around a bit. She even flicked some water at Piper who sent a tidal wave in Ellie’s direction. Ellie was now positively drenched but loved every bit of it. It reminded her of playing with those water guns Riley had found. 

There was a box-like shape in the corner of the room. Next to it was a brass suitcase holder. Ellie’s eyes widened with excitement. “Oh, check it out!” She trudged over to the desk, Piper in tow after her. “Ding, ding.” Ellie rang the bell on the desk. 

Piper appeared behind the desk. Her arms pushed up to slightly raise her body out of the water. Something she regretted as the cold air hit her soaking-wet clothes. “Good evening, madam. How may I help you?” Piper said in her best impression of what she thought a hotel worker would sound like. 

“Yes, sir. I would like your finest suite, please.” Ellie replied. Her voice was just as ridiculous as Piper’s had been. 

Piper raised her brows and broke character. “I’m a sir?” 

Ellie sighed, breaking character as well. “Well, fuck, you sounded like a man just there. Your voice was deep an’ all.” 

Piper waved her sister off. “Okay. Fine.” Then Piper switched back into her “man” voice. “Yes, ma'am. Would you like me to take your luggage?” The words were over-enunciated and Piper’s mouth exaggerated the movements of her mouth. A hint of a smile appeared on her face. She was having fun. 

“Of course, sire,” Ellie replied. 

“Yes, ma'am. Right away, ma'am…” Piper motioned to the suitcase carrier. “Here get on the thingy,” she instructed Ellie. 

Ellie eagerly hopped on and Piper began to push the cart. Ellie squealed with delight even though the cart was moving slower than a snail. A giggle escaped Piper’s mouth just loud enough for the entire group to hear. 

Tess smiled fondly at the scene. 

“You're a weird kid,” Joel muttered. There was no malice in his voice. In fact, Piper was even sure she heard a hint of amusement. 

“You're a weird kid.” Ellie spat back. 

Piper smirked at Ellie’s response. Suddenly a dark figure splashed in the water below Piper. It touched her leg and she yelped. “Oh fuck!” She quickly jumped back from whatever it was. Her body was stiff and defensive as she tripped and fell into the water. 

Joel moved to the girls without thinking. His gun was ready to fire and protect them. He didn’t notice how his breath grew tight realizing he couldn’t see Piper. At that moment, Piper’s head shot out of the water and she gasped for breath. Adrenaline was pumped into her system. 

“Oh, my God,” Ellie said as she saw what scared Piper. It was a skeleton of what she assumed was a hotel worker. “Uh, sorry,” she mumbled to Joel.

He let out a small sigh of relief and lowered his gun. He kicked the skeleton away from the two girls. Then he found himself looking down at Piper with a look in his eyes that he couldn’t place. Joel extended a hand out to the teen. 

“You okay?” He asked her.  

Piper stared at Joel’s hand. Water droplets trickled down her face and dripped down her brow bone. She wiped her face and for a moment considered taking his hand. Maybe she could let someone care…never. Piper brushed the thought away just as she did with Joel’s hand. She didn’t need his or Tess’s help. Piper and Ellie were just fine on their own. 

“Yep. Fucking fabulous,” she growled. 

꧁_____________꧂ 

Piper had been silent the rest of the way through the swamp of the hotel and up the ten flights of stairs the group climbed. She didn’t even let out so much as a breath. Joel was pretty much the same. The two of them shared a strained aura. Their boots sloshed and water continued to drip onto the floor. 

“Fuck... Holy shit.” Tess grabbed her lower back and sighed in relief. Her joints ached. 

“Come on, it wasn't that bad,” Ellie teased. She and Tess had talked the entire way up. Ellie was positive their conversation kept Piper from losing it. 

“You try climbing ten fuckin' floors with our knees. See how ya feel.” Tess’s gaze moved down the hallway and she groaned at the sight. A wall had caved in. Something that wasn’t there the last time she and Joel were at the hotel. “Well, when the fuck did that happen?” 

Joel was already down the hall. He was trying to open the doors, but each one seemed stuck. 

“Maybe that one,” Tess suggested. It was the last door in the hallway. 

Joel tried the door and shook his head. “No.”

Tess sighed. “All right, well, I mean, maybe I could climb up there, work my way around, and open it from the inside?” She suggested. It would be a tight fit. 

“Uh, no, well, I'm the smallest, so it'd be easier for me to get through,” Ellie replied. 

“No,” Piper stated. 

Tess nodded in agreement with Piper. “I’d listen to your sister. If you die then we get nothing. You stay.” She turned to Joel. “Can you give me a hand?”

Joel extended his hand and Tess took it. He lifted underneath her thigh and boosted her up. Tess was able to grasp some rubble and squeeze her way through the debris. “You good up there?” Joel called out. 

“Yeah, uh, it's a bit of a mess, so I'm gonna need a few minutes,” explained Tess. Her voice was muffled. 

Now that Tess was gone, the group grew silent. Ellie huffed in boredom before leaning against the wall. Piper stood looking at the crack where Tess had disappeared from. She clutched her arms close to her body and shivered. The mix of cold air and soaking wet clothes was a deadly combination. Joel peered down at Piper’s shivering body before he reached into his pack and pulled out his jacket. Without a word, he draped it over Piper’s shoulders. He didn’t give her a chance to refuse as he walked away and sat opposite Ellie. 

Piper sighed and drew Joel’s jacket closer to her body. Her shivering calmed down. “I’m going to change into my spare clothes. Ellie?” Piper shot her sister a look. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll change my socks,” Ellie mumbled. 

Piper nodded and turned around and walked to the end of the hall before opening the doorway to the staircase. Joel was not worrying about Piper as she walked away from his presence and into the dark stairwell. 

Ellie, in the meantime, had peeled over her wet socks and switched them out for dry ones. She leaned against the wall and huffed in boredom. 

Joel felt a weight in his pockets and remembered he still had Ellie’s switchblade in his pocket. He pulled it out and saw how Ellie’s expression changed instantly. 

“Where did you get that?” She asked, extending her hand out. Joel tossed it to the girl. 

“Pulled it out of the FEDRA guy’s back. Thought you might need it.”

“Thanks,” Ellie whispered. Then she flipped out the switchblade and began to play with it. The silver blade turned and twisted in her grasp. 

“Nice knife. Where'd you learn to do that?” Joel asked. 

“The circus. Where are you from?” Ellie replied. 

“Texas.”

“What about Tess?”

“Detroit. It's in Michigan.”

Ellie scoffed. “I go to school. I know where Detroit is. So, uh, you two like a…”

“Pass.”

“How'd you end up in Boston?”

Joel grumbled. These questions were serving as a shitty distraction. “Pass. No more questions about me.” 

“How long do Infected live?” Ellie asked. She stopped flipping her knife. 

“Oh, I thought you went to school,” Joel leered with a tilt of his head. 

“It's a really shitty one.” 

“Well, some last about a month or two. But there's others been walkin' around ‘bout 20 years.” Joel explained. 

“Ever kill one?” Ellie asked. 

“Yeah, I killed lots of 'em.” 

“…Was it hard? Like, knowing they were people once?” Ellie’s voice got quiet. 

“No,” a voice from beside Joel and Ellie spoke. It was Piper. 

“Sometimes,” Joel said at the same time. 

Joel turned his head to look at Piper. She was wearing his jacket over a brown, green, white, and blue striped tee shirt underneath along with a dark pair of jeans. She had the sleeves of his jacket rolled back. It was huge on the teen girl. 

“What about that guy last night?” Ellie asked Joel, bringing his gaze off of Piper. It was another question Joel did not want to answer. 

Suddenly there was a rustling noise from behind one of the doors in the hallway. Joel shot up from his seat on the floor and pushed Ellie and Piper behind him. His gun raised. 

“You can put the gun down, Joel,” Tess's voice instructed from the other side of the door. There was a click and the door swung open. There was a look of unease on Tess’s face. 

“What now?” Joel stressed. 

꧁_____________꧂ 

Well fuck, was the collective thought as they stared down at the writhing pile of Infected. The sight was nauseating. The bodies of the Infected slithered along the ground. Moans filled the air and merged into one sound of death. Piper couldn’t help the foul thoughts that plagued her mind. Her entire body was on edge as she watched the Infected below. She felt like something was crawling underneath her skin, prickling the hairs on the back of her neck. Something that would shred her skin apart and kill her from the inside with its sharp claws around her heart as it tore her apart. 

“There's so many,” Ellie muttered. She was in shock. The image of the Infected on top of her from three weeks ago was still fresh in her mind.  

“The last time we were here, they were still deep inside the buildings. Then I guess enough people came through looking for the QZ, they went inside seeking shelter… and that's how they get more and more of the city bit by bit, year after year,” Tess said. 

“They're connected,” Ellie whispered, scared her voice would alter the Infected below. 

“More than you know. The fungus also grows underground. Long fibres like wires, some of them stretching over a mile. Now, you step on a patch of cordyceps in one place, and you can wake a dozen Infected from somewhere else. Now they know where you are, now they come. You're not immune from being ripped apart. Do you understand?” Tess leaned close to Ellie. Ellie was quick to nod her head. 

Piper on the other hand turned away from the ledge. She took in a sharp breath in an attempt to control her shaking. She clenched her eyes tight and felt a cold tear slide down her cheek. The mark from where she bit her arm burned as the screams from that night thundered in her head. 

NO. NO. ELLIE! NO. NO. PLEASE…I CAN’T…NO!!

“It's important. I'm tryin' to keep you alive,” Tess told Ellie. 

The words twisted in Piper’s mind. You can’t keep Ellie safe. You can’t keep her alive. She got bit because of you. It’s your fault. 

No…I’m sorry. I can keep her safe. I CAN!!

It’s when Ellie speaks that Piper was taken out of her dark thoughts. 

“So, we're not goin' that way,' ' Ellie noted. 

“No,” Tess said. 

“What do we do then? Short way?!” Ellie’s eyes flashed with worry. If she remembered correctly, the short way was the “we’re fucking dead way”. 

“Museum,” Joel's voice said. 

Ellie shivered. She wasn’t sure if it was from the cold or the knot that formed in her stomach. The “we’re fucking dead way” it is. 

꧁_____________꧂ 

“You've gotta be fucking kidding me,” Piper snarled. 

The museum was overgrown with fungus.  Yellow and white tendrils slithered up the withering walls of the museum. Like roots, the fungus spread out from the entryway of the museum. The fungus almost looked painted on. It reminded Piper of the spray paint art found on the walls of the buildings in the QZ. However, this design was deadly. 

“Well, there's a way across from the top floor,” Tess told the two girls. She pointed upwards. 

“Well, then I guess it's fine,” Ellie shrugged. 

“No, Ellie. It’s not fucking fine!” Piper exclaimed. She wasn’t about to let her sister walk in there. Had she not remembered what Tess told her? The Infected were connected by the fungus. One wrong step and hell would descend upon them. 

“We used to take it all the time,” Tess reassured Piper. Well, I tried to. 

“Okay,” Ellie said. 

Piper shook her head. “I’m not fucking going in there. Neither is Ellie.” Piper grabbed the hood of her sister’s jacket and pulled Ellie to her side. “We’re not going in…,” Piper growled. 

“Look, it was fine. Piper, you’ve gotta trust me.”

“Trust the person who walked up straight into that FEDRA agent? Hell no.” Piper’s eyes narrowed and her body grew stiff as Tess took a step forward. 

“Awesome,” Ellie said sarcastically. She sighed and tried to remove herself from Piper’s grasp, but her grip was too tight. “Jesus Pipes, calm the fuck down. Tess says it's fine, so –”

“It's bone dry. It could mean they're all finally dead in there,” announced Joel. Joel’s deep and calm voice eased some of Piper’s nerves. 

“Oh, man. See Piper, we’re fine.” Piper sent Ellie a warning glare. “Mind if you let me go?” 

Reluctantly, Piper released Ellie’s hoodie. Ellie shrugged off her sister’s hand and turned to Tess and Joel who were on the ground sifting through their backpacks. 

Joel pulled out a large flashlight and waved it in front of the girls. “Marlene pack you one of these or just sandwiches?”

“Yeah,” Ellie nodded. She and Piper pulled off their bags and began to look for the flashlights Marlene had so graciously given them. 

Piper groaned. “Where is that fucking thing?” Then she reached into her pack and began to pull out everything in search of the flashlight. First, it was her wet clothes, then a makeshift first aid kit, some rope, and her gun. Joel’s eyes widened as she pulled out the gun from her bag. His hand instinctively hovered over his own. 

Something that didn’t go unnoticed by Piper. “What?! I know how to use one of these things.” She waved the gun around. “It’s not like I’m gonna shoot you. Plus it's empty.” She opened the cartridge and indeed it was empty. Joel’s hand left his side. “Just grabbing my fucking flashlight,” Piper grumbled finally finding the damn thing. 

Joel’s shoulders didn’t relax until Piper had shoved the gun back into the bag. She made sure to place it at the very bottom of her bag. She didn’t need to give Joel another reason to shoot her. 

“Okay, so… more ground rules.” Tess swung her bag back over her shoulder and placed her hands on the girl’s shoulders. Her eyes switched between Piper's and Ellie’s eyes. “We're gonna go slowly. If we come up against anything, you get behind us and ya stay there, okay?”

“Yes,” Ellie said. 

Tess sent a look to Piper as she scoffed. “Yeah. Jesus. I’ll stay behind you.”

Tess pulled back accepting the girl’s acknowledgement and pulled out her gun. 

“I have a spare hand…” Ellie suggested. She pointed to the guns in Tess and Joel’s hands.

“Congratulations,” Joel said as he stepped over the dead fungi and into the Museum. 

“Yeah... cooked,” Joel noted as the group settled into the building. The only source of light came from behind them and their flashlights. Piper was surprised to find that the roof and walls were intact. Part of her was half expecting half of the building to have collapsed and to be overrun with plants and fauna just like the rest of the city. 

“Oh, finally, some fuckin' luck,” said Tess. 

“I guess we should've gone this way in the first place,” Joel confessed as he looked around the museum. All was quiet and still. He and Tess quickly check a side room to make sure it was clear. Maybe they were in luck. 

Ellie on the other hand did exactly what Joel and Tess told her not to do. She wandered away. Piper followed her sister. Her hand tightly grasped her own switch. Ellie turned a corner and jumped back. “Oh shit! What the fuck did that?” She pointed her flashlight behind the corner and Piper ran to her side, her hand ready to strike. It seemed like Tess and Joel had the same idea. 

“Ellie…” Piper muttered. She pulled her sister away from the dead body. 

It was a man. His throat ripped open and his shirt torn. Thick blood seeped from the wounds. His eyes were wide open with terror; Frozen in time the moment his life was stolen from his body. 

Tess tensed beside Joel.” Maybe… maybe he was attacked outside and crawled through the doors. The door was open. Could've been him. I don't hear anything.” She said hopefully. 

“Who would you hear?” Ellie asked curiously before Piper’s hand flew up to cover her mouth. Piper leaned in close and shushed her sister.

Ellie got the message and pulled Piper’s hand away. “Who would you hear?” Ellie whispered. She looked at Tess and Joel. “Are you saying an Infected did that?”

“Shh,” Tess pleaded. 

“Because I've been attacked by one and it wasn't like that.” Ellie pointed to the body, her voice growing louder than a whisper. 

“You know the bat-like ones?” Piper said. Ellie nodded. “Well–”

Joel’s jaw clenched as Piper spoke up. “Okay, from this point forward, we are silent. Not quiet. Silent.” He brought a finger to his lips. 

“What…?” Ellie asked. 

“No. No questions. Just do it.” Joel commanded. 

Ellie sighed, or she would have if Joel was not giving her a death glare. Tess motioned for Piper and Ellie to walk behind Joel. The girls followed Joel as Tess took the back. Her eyes darted from side to side to look out for any sign that could warn her. 

Piper and Ellie stepped over the fungi that spread all across the floor and spanned across the walls and ceiling. Piper didn’t care that Joel stated the fungi were dead as she walked on her tiptoes to avoid even the tiniest fragment of fungi. 

As the group moved up the stairs of the museum, Piper could see piles of debris and shattered glass mixed between the large root-like tendrils of the fungi. It seemed like the stairs were the focal point for the fungi. It grew denser making it harder for Piper to find a safe place to step. Ellie resorted to hopping from one place to another. 

There was a creaking sound from above before a rumbling CRASH! Suddenly a part of the ceiling collapsed down onto the stairs just a few feet in front of Joel. The group froze: Their breath stilled, the blood in their body stopped pumping, and every muscle in their body refused to move. All were focused on the sound. They listened as the dust stilled and fell to the floor. They waited for what felt like a century as they were reassured nothing was altered. 

Joel was the first to take a step. His movement created a chain reaction in the rest of the group. Everyone now continued to make their way up the stairs past the decaying bodies of lifeless infected. Fungi grew out of their cracked skulls and shot out of their eye sockets. 

Ellie couldn’t help but be fascinated with the Infected. She could clearly see the hollowness of the human that the monster was created from. She soon became lost in her thoughts as she imagined what these people must have been like before they were turned. Her steps soon grew careless and less calculated. 

CRACK!

The group froze again as Ellie winced. The sound pierced the air. The sound came from below Ellie. She cautiously lifted her foot off the ground and glanced down at the crushed hand of the Infected. The hand was reduced to dust and bones. She mouthed a quick sorry to Joel who was staring right where her foot once was and the group trekked up the stairs once more. 

Piper felt a wave of relief fall over her as she realized the fungi were getting less dense. The stairs finally reached an end and now she and the others stood on the second floor. Light seeped into the hallway from the windows making it just a fraction easier to see. 

Once again, Joel was the first to move. He crept towards the end of the hallway and pushed the door slightly ajar. Just enough space for him and the others to get through. Piper was the next to walk through the door. 

The second Piper stepped into the threshold, the building began to groan and croak. The ceiling screeched and a rumbling began. Tess ushered her and Ellie forward. The ceiling cracked open. In desperation, Tess shoved Ellie forward. The two of them came crashing to the ground. The two of them struggle to contain the groan of pain that built in their lungs. 

The crashing was much too loud. The sound thundered in Piper’s ears. It was all that she could hear. Then came the silence. It was deafening. All of a sudden, Piper became consciously aware of how ear-splittingly loud everything was: her breathing, the creaking of the building, the roaring of her own heart, the blood sloshing about her body, the dust settling around what used to be a doorway. 

Piper preferred the silence to what came next. It was a bone-chilling scream. One that was followed by a screech from the other direction. There were two. The creatures flocked to the sound. Tess pulled Ellie up by the scruff of her neck and backed away from the collapsed debris. Joel placed a hand in front of Piper and backed her away from the scene. The group walked step by step backwards. Their eyes filled with uncertainty as they looked for any sign of the creatures. 

Click. Click. Eeraahh! Click. 

It was coming from behind them. Piper pulled Ellie close as the Clicker came into view through the glass of one of the display cases. Ellie’s eyes widened in fear as she turned away from the shadow of the Clicker. 

“They can't see, but they can hear.” Joel mouthed. 

Ellie nodded in understanding. She needed to be silent. Not Quiet. Something was proving difficult to do. The image of the Infected on top of her clawing at her chest appeared in her mind. The creature spat and snarled as it growled into her ear with a twisted animalistic smile on its face. Ellie couldn’t help how her breath quickened in her chest as the clicking grew nearer. 

The Clicker has rounded the corner of the display case. Its’ body is only a foot or two away from Joel. 

Suddenly, Piper’s hands come to the sides of Ellie’s face. “Look at me. Breathe in and out.” Piper mouthed. Her own hands trembled viscously against Ellie’s skin. 

Ellie does what Piper asked. She breathed in and looked at her sister. 

Click. 

Ellie looked away. She saw the Clicker. Its arms twisted and fingers pointed sharp like claws. She saw the blood seeping from its mouth and the fungi that split apart its’ skull. Ellie breathed out. 

A simple breath. That’s all the Clicker needed to whip around towards Ellie. It screeched and reached out its hands. Joel was quick to aim his gun and shoot. The clicker screamed out in pain as bullet after bullet lodged into its stomach. 

“Run!” Joel cried as he fought the Clicker. 

Tess didn’t hesitate to pull Ellie and Piper away from Joel and run. Another Clicker jumped out from behind the wall and growled at Tess who fired her own gun. She dragged the girls away in the other direction. Her head whipped back to shoot once more. A fatal mistake. Ellie tripped, causing Piper and Tess to come toppling over her. The Clicker charged them. Tess instinctively kicked a nearby stand over. The noise served as a distraction to allow the three of them to crawl away. Tess motioned for Piper to take Ellie and run, just as the Clicker learned of their deception. Tess pulled out her gun once more and shoots the Clicker, effectively leading it away from the girls.

Piper and Ellie do not dare stand up. They crawled under a nearby display case as chaos ensued around them. Shots were fired. Clickers screeched. Ellie’s breath grew heavy and tense as the sounds grew louder and more frequent. 

Piper raised her hands to cover Ellie’s ears. “Calm down.” Piper mouthed. A hypocritical statement for Piper’s mind was in turmoil. She was just as helpless as she was that night in the mall. 

FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.

YOU’RE GONNA DIE. ELLIE’S GOING TO BE RIPPED APART. 

CRASH!

Piper and Ellie jumped out of their skin. They collectively decided to move to another hiding place. The two carefully crawled across the floor. They froze at the sound of glass breaking. A Clicker ran past them roaring as it searched for them. 

In the corner of her eye, Piper saw a display case. It was low and could cover her and Ellie’s bodies. She carefully moved towards the case. Ellie followed after her. 

Click. Click. Click. 

The Clicker was closer than ever. Piper could see the shadow of the creature inch closer and closer near the edge of the display case they were hiding behind. Suddenly Joel tapped on her shoulder. She had to cover her mouth before she yelped. Joel looked at Ellie and Piper and then at the Clicker on the other side of the display case. 

“Follow me.” He mouthed and turned around on his heel. 

Click. Click. Click. 

Joel raised one foot and then another. His body was crouched low as he stepped in the opposite direction of the Clicker. Foot down. Foot up. Foot down. 

Crack. 

Then he was on the floor. Piper and Ellie were screaming as the Infected jumped on top of them. Their arms thrashed as the Clicker claws at Ellie. Its’ mouth growled as a mix of saliva and drool dripped onto Ellie’s face. Piper cried out as she managed to lodge one of her arms on the Clicker’s neck and face. It began to snap its’ jaw open and closed. The clenching of its’ teeth pinched a chord in Ellie’s ears. Piper’s grip on the Clicker slipped. The creature fell onto Ellie, biting down. Piper cried out in pain as Joel’s gun fired. The Clicker turned its attention to Joel. It lunged at Joel knocking his gun away. Ellie froze as she saw Joel struggle. The Clicker growled and hissed fighting to rip into Joel’s skin. 

BANG!

The Clicker fell still. Joel shoved the clicker off of him and looked up. It was Piper. In her hands, she held his gun. It was a perfect shot to the head. 

A screeching appeared beside Piper as the other Clicker lunged at her. She jumped back and cried aloud in fear. The gun dropped to the floor in her moment of horror. 

“Run, run!” Joel screamed. He shoved Ellie to the side and reached out for Piper. His hands grabbed onto the jacket she was wearing and pulled her out of the Clicker’s charge. 

Suddenly, Tess appeared. She raised an axe and swung it at the Clicker. The weapon was now lodged into the Clicker’s neck. It howled in pain and turned to Tess, now preparing to jump at her. 

Immediately, Joel retrieved his gun and raised the barrel. Locked. Loaded. Finger on the trigger. Fire!

Silence. 

The Clicker dropped dead. 

“You all right?” Joel heaved. He had asked everyone in the room but his attention was directed to Tess who was on the floor holding her ankle in pain. 

“Twisted ankle, but... yeah. You all right?” Tess asked. 

“Well, I didn't shit my pants, so…” Ellie said. 

“Piper?” Tess inquired. 

The teen was in shock. Her ears were ringing and there was a dull pain in her arm. She felt something warm trickle down her skin.

“Piper?” Tess asked again. Worry filled her voice. 

“Fuck–” Piper cried. She was looking at her arm. “I mean if it was gonna happen to one of us.” 

The group's eyes fell onto Piper’s arm. Where she had rolled back the sleeves of Joel’s jacket was a bite mark. It was bleeding profusely as Piper clutched the wound. Her whole body was shaking, and she bit her lip. The taste of copper and iron flooded her taste buds. Ellie seemed just as terrified. A fear both Joel and Tess chalked up to being attacked by two Clickers. An experience that a majority of people don’t live to tell the tale of. 

“Hey...let's get the fuck outta here,” Tess muttered. 

Joel nodded and looked around the room for the window that led to the rooftop. He found it already cracked open. Ellie was the first to step out onto the roof. Then Piper, Tess, and, lastly, Joel. 

Tess groaned in pain as her ankle throbbed. Joel instructed her to sit down as he pulled off his backpack. He reached inside and pulled out bandages. He held them out to Piper who was still in shock clutching her bleeding arm. 

“Put this around your arm,” He instructed her. 

Piper looked at the bandages before taking them. “Thanks.” 

Ellie stood near the ledge. “Over there?” She asked and pointed to the boardwalk that connected over the next rooftop. 

Joel nodded, “Yeah, I know. It looks scary.”

“That was scary. This is wood.” Without another word, Ellie crossed the wooden plank and jumped onto the next rooftop. 

Piper adjusted her backpack and gripped the bandage tightly as she walked across the plank of wood. They were high off the ground. One misstep and she would go tumbling down to the ground. But Ellie was right. The thought of that was nothing compared to the bloody mark on her arm. 

“Just wait there. Give us a minute,” Joel called out. 

Piper assumed he was gonna help Tess. She walked over to Ellie who stood staring at the view of the city in front of them. Piper silently observed her sister as she began to wrap her arm. Something she struggled with. The bandage never stayed in one place. Piper furrowed her brows in concentration. 

“Pipes,” a small voice whimpered. It was Ellie. She was crying as she looked at the bite mark on Piper’s arm. 

Piper frowned and her lips trembled. “Look. You’re immune, right? We’re sisters, so I’ve got to be.” Piper’s sight grew blurry. “I just– Just help me, please.” She raised her arm up as Ellie took the bandage from her hand. 

Ellie snatched the bandage from Piper’s hand before fishing something out of her pocket. Piper’s face paled as she saw the silver blade fling to position. Ellie raised the knife over the palm of her hand. 

“My blood’s the cure, right? I’m immune so if I mix it with yours then–” Ellie winced as the blade sliced into her hand. The silver knife drew across her skin before being closed and placed back into Ellie’s pocket. Then Ellie raised her hand over Piper’s arm, who was quick to draw it away. 

“Ellie-” Piper begged. 

“Just–fuck! Piper. Please!” Ellie whimpered. 

Piper shakingly stuck out her arm again allowing Ellie to squeeze her hand shut over Piper’s arm. It was like juicing a lemon, as Ellie’s blood dripped onto Piper’s wound. Then for extra measures, Ellie took that very bloodied hand and proceeded to mix Piper’s blood with hers. 

It had to work. Ellie knew that she was immune. It was in her blood. That’s what Marlene had told her. The cure was in her blood. So, if she put just enough of her blood in Piper’s system then Piper wouldn’t turn. It had to work. It had to. Ellie didn’t know what she would do without Piper. It was always Ellie and Piper until the end. The panic in Ellie grew as she gripped her sister’s arm tighter as if she was afraid that if she let go Piper would disappear. 

“Ellie,” the panic as Piper's terror grew. “Ellie that’s enough!”

Ellie yanked her arm back and stood clutching her bleeding hand as her wide and trembling eyes glared at the bite mark on Piper’s arm. Her breaths were short, and tense and they grew quicker and more frequent with each second. 

Piper shot her hands out and cupped her sister’s face. “Breath. I’m okay. We’re okay. I’ve got you, Ellie,” Piper whispered to her sister.

Ellie was able to calm down enough to bandage her sister's wound. In turn, Piper tore off some of the fabric to tie it around Ellie’s cut. Ellie giggled as Piper kissed Ellie’s boo-boo. It was just like old times back in the QZ. 

“We’re okay. We’re gonna be okay. It’s you and me until the end.” Piper said as she wrapped an arm around Ellie’s shoulder and turned the two of them to face the view of the city. The calming scene was just what the girls needed to pull them out of the water threatening to drown them. 

The afternoon sun cascaded down on crumbling Boston. The Capitol building shimmered like a lighthouse in the dark as the gold-tinted dome roof caught the warm light of the sun. The sky was a picturesque blue and there was hardly a cloud in sight. Occasionally the dark outline of a bird would fly into view above the buildings. 

“If I had a superpower, then I would be able to fly,” Ellie muttered as her brown eyes flowed the latest bird to grace their view. 

“Oh yeah?” Piper said as she pulled her sister in closer. 

“Yeah. Then I’d be able to take you and we’d fly someplace safe. Somewhere there is no Infected. No FEDRA. No fireflies. Somewhere where it’s just me and you,” Ellie explained as she snuggled into her sister's side. 

Then there was a shuffling behind them, and Joel and Tess appeared, finally catching up with the girls. Joel came to a stop next to Ellie. He crossed his arms over his chest and let out a deep sigh before glancing down at Ellie. 

“Is it everything you hoped for?”

Ellie sniffled before answering Joel. “The jury's still out. But, man, you can't deny that view.” Then Ellie smiled. 

Joel furrowed his brows as his gaze softened. There was no malice or sassiness in Ellie’s voice as she answered. But then the girl smiled. It was a soft smile and not one that was noticeable. But it was a smile. An honest-to-God sweet smile. 

Tess looked at the location of the sun in the sky before limping over to a ladder attached to the building. “C'mon, let's get there before it's dark.”

Tess raised her leg over the edge and began her descent down the ladder. Ellie stepped out from under her sister’s arm before walking over to the ladder and climbing down after Piper. 

Joel took a step forward, but something in him made him look back at Piper. There was a dullness in her eyes as she looked at the view. So unlike Ellie’s simple adoration for it. To Piper, the view was just a little greyer and darker too. It was as if her whole world was tinted. Cursed to dull and eventually fade away. 

“You good, kid?” Joel asked. 

Piper took a moment to respond back. “No.” Then she stepped forward and walked over to the ladder. Her figure descended from view. 

Joel just stood there. His brown eyes fixed on the spot Piper once stood. It was only a “no”, yet Joel Miller was frozen in his step. It wasn’t dullness in her eyes. No, it was defeat. It was the glance at a broken soul whose pieces have scattered so far and wide that there is only the hollowness of what once was. 

Then Joel found himself glancing down. The broken glass of his watch gleamed in the sun. One thought alone was in Joel’s mind as he looked at the watch. One thought alone was in Joel’s mind as he climbed down the ladder. 

꧁_____________꧂ 

The sun had begun its descent in the sky and the crickets decided to make an early appearance. They chirped as a light breeze danced through the long grass. The leaves rubbed together making a wave-like noise every time a gust of wind flew by. Tess, Joel, Piper, and Ellie stood behind a rusted old car that had spent too much time under the harsh gaze of the sun. 

“Where the fuck are they?” Tess harshly whispered to Joel. 

Before them stood the Capitol building. The drop-off point. The place Marlene said a bunch from out west were. The Capitol was anything but alive. There was no sign of the Fireflies, except for a gigantic truck. A truck that looked entirely too new compared to the numerous rusted and crumbling cars that were scattered around the grounds. 

Joel’s eyes narrowed on the truck as he stepped out from behind the car. “Stay back,” he instructed. 

The gravel crunched under Joel’s boots as he stalked towards the truck’s driver-side door. The door was slightly ajar which allowed Joel to pry it open with his gun. The leather seats were drenched with blood. Not a person in sight. Joel’s worry grew as he trekked around to the back of the truck before opening it as well. Empty. 

“Joel? What the fuck is going on?” Tess said. She stepped out from behind the car and began to approach Joel. Her face fell upon seeing what Joel had found. 

“I don't know,” Joel replied. 

Ellie and Piper approached the truck as well. The two girls circled around to the other side looking for clues as to where the Fireflies could have gone. 

Ellie gulped as she spotted a trail of blood leading into the Capitol building. “They went inside,” she said. Piper came up next to Ellie. Her eyes followed along the blood trail. 

“Come on,” Tess dictated as she grabbed Ellie’s sleeve and pulled her into the Capitol building. 

Piper and Joel ran after Tess.

“Tess!” Joel called out. 

“Come on!” Tess hissed as she pulled Ellie along. 

“Tess!” Joel repeated. 

The scene they had found inside the building was a massacre. Ellie was the first to enunciate what they were all thinking. “Holy shit.” 

Bodies lay along the marble floor. Some were shot, blood still oozing out of their deadly wounds. Others lay face up with their necks sliced open or knives gouged into their heads. 

Ellie turned around taking it all in. She stepped closer to a particular body lying nearby. Joel tensed before pulling Ellie away from the body and into the centre of the lobby. 

“Oh, Jesus. Okay.” Joel looked around and caught sight of Tess. She was digging through the numerous crates and boxes that the Fireflies had kept in the building. 

“I mean, there's gotta be a, a fuckin' radio or somethin', right?” Tess’s voice quavered. 

“Who killed them? FEDRA?” Ellie looked at Piper as she said FEDRA. 

Piper shook her head, but it was Joel who answered. “No. One of them got bit. The healthy ones fought the sick ones. Everyone lost.” He stepped towards Tess whose movements got more and more frantic. “Tess? What're you doin'?”

Tess turned on her heel and marched towards Ellie and Piper. On instinct, Piper grabbed Ellie’s sleeve and pulled her sister back behind her. 

“Where did Marlene say that she was taking you? Ellie! Piper!” Tess demanded. 

Ellie shook her head. “Uh, I don't know. Just west.”

“Just west. Fuck.” Tess ran her hands through her hair. Her fingers gripped tightly around her light brown locks. “Okay. Well, I mean, one of them's gotta have a map on them, right? Joel, can ya help me?” Tess walked over to one of the bodies and began searching the pockets. 

“No! Tess... it's over. We are going home,” Joel said. His voice began to fill with worry. The most emotion Piper and Ellie had ever heard from his voice. 

“That's not my fucking home!” Tess yelled. She glanced back at Joel. “I'm stayin'. I mean... our luck had to run out sooner or later.” Her voice faltered. 

There it was. Defeat was embedded deep within Tess’s eyes. A look–a feeling that Piper knew all too well. “Fuck. She's infected,” Piper stated. 

Joel looked back at Piper before returning his gaze to Tess. “Show me.” 

“Joel,” Tess stepped towards Joel, but he raised his gun at her. She let out a nervous chuckle. “Oops, right?” Then Tess marched over to Piper pointing at her arm. “Take your bandage off,” Tess commanded. 

Piper glanced at Joel before she lifted up her sleeve and removed her bandage. 

Tess snatched Piper’s arm pulling it close to Joel. “Look.” 

Joel’s jaw clenched as he did as Tess told as did Piper. The bleeding had stopped and a layer of scab was growing over the wound. It was healing. Relief fell over Piper. She was immune. She was healing. 

“Joel?” Tess caught Joel’s attention once more. “This is real. Joel, she's fucking real. They’re real…” Tess finally let go of Piper’s arm. “I need you to get her to Bill and Frank's.”

Joel shook his head. “No.”

“They'll take her off your hands,” Tess continued. 

“No.” There was desperation growing in Joel’s voice. 

“They'll handle it from here,” Tell told Joel. 

“No, no, no, I can't. They won't take her. They're not gonna take her,” Joel replied. 

“They will. They will 'cause you'll convince them.” Joel shook his head. “Yes, you will. I, I never ask you for anything, not to feel the way I felt.”

Joel’s eyes began to water. His hands gripped his gun tighter as if it was his only lifeline. “No.”

“Shut the fuck up 'cause I don't have time.” She stepped close to Joel. “This is your chance. You get them there… you keep them alive...and you set everything right. All the shit we did. Please say yes, Joel, please,” Tess begged. 

Suddenly there was a snarling behind Piper and Ellie. The girls whirled around and cried out in fear. The dead never seemed to stay dead. 

“Oh fuck!” Ellie exclaimed. 

Instinctively, Joel raised his gun. The trigger was pulled. The Infect collapsed to the floor. Its hand fell to the floor and then time froze. 

Why hadn’t he noticed it before? Joel scolded himself. 

There’s a howl in the distance and it feels as if hell has descended upon them. Piper clutched Ellie close as the unanimous snarling from the distance filled their ears. 

Joel ran over to the entrance of the Capitol building and stuck his head out the door. His face paled at the sight. 

“How many?” Tess asked. 

“All of them. Maybe a minute.” Joel closed the door and ran back to the group. 

Tess ran to a nearby container before dumping its contents out. Yellow gasoline spilt across the pristine marble floor. The smell of petrol swarmed Piper’s sense of smell. 

“What are you doing?” Ellie asked as Tess ran around the room dumping out the gasoline. 

“Making sure that they don't follow you.” Tess raised up a small lighter before turning to Joel. “Joel… save who you can save.” 

Joel’s whole body clenched tightly as his eyes said goodbye to Tess. He couldn’t say it. She knew he couldn’t. Then Joel listened. He did exactly what Tess told him to. He saved who he could save. His large shoot out to grab tightly onto the girls’ arms before dragging them away. 

Piper and Ellie look back helplessly at Tess. Ellie grunts and yells as she tries to fit Joel’s grip. She couldn’t leave her mom behind.

“No! We're not leaving her!” Ellie screamed. 

Piper smiled sadly at Tess. Her brown eyes said thank you over and over hoping Tess knew. She did. Of course, Tess did. She was a mother after all. 

“Get off me, you fucker!” Ellie began to hit Joel with all her might. But Joel was hardened to violence and pain. “Piper!” Ellie began to plead with her sister. 

Piper shook her head before using her other arm to loop around Ellie and help Joel drag her out of the building. “Ellie, we have to.”

Ellie cried out in frustration. “I'm not going with you!” 

Piper didn’t exactly know when they exited the building. What she did know was about twenty seconds after, as Joel continued to haul Ellie’s thrashing figure into the field of tall grass, the building exploded. 

Clouds of fire fumed out of the windows. Glass shattered. The ground trembled and then all was silent. 

Ellie’s fight broke down. Joel let her go he watched as she scrambled forward her arms reaching out to the burning building before Piper stepped in her sister’s path. 

“Ellie,” Piper soothed. Her hand reached up to wipe away her sister’s tears. 

“Fuck you!” Ellie screamed as she shoved Piper to the ground. 

“Ellie!” Piper said, trying to stand back up to calm her sister down. 

Ellie growled before jumping on top of her sister. This wasn’t like their games where Piper was in control. Ellie was on top. Ellie was going to win. Her finger scrunched up and formed a fist. Then that fist flung through the air finding a place on Piper’s body. After the first punch came another. Then another. 

Piper raised her arms up in defence. Her body squirmed under Ellie’s weight as she tried to get the upper hand, but Ellie gave her no such opportunity. Hit after hit Joel stood by and watched. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t speak, so he just let it happen. 

Then there was a sickening crack as Ellie’s fist landed on Piper’s face. Blood trickled down Piper’s now broken nose. Ellie froze. Her knuckle felt warm with her sister’s blood. Then Ellie was on the ground. Piper was on her feet clutching her nose in pain. Joel just looked at the teen as she tried to nurse her wounds. 

Tears are falling down Ellie’s cheeks now. She doesn’t feel them. All she can feel is the blood of her sister’s body tainting her skin. She feels sick but there is nothing to puke up. 

There was another crack and Piper winced in pain. Her nose adjusted; the blood was no longer spilt from her nose. She could breathe now, but the blood was in her mouth. She hated the coppery taste in her mouth that was becoming more and more frequent. Piper spat out the blood in her mouth. The red liquid mixed with her saliva as it hit the ground. Piper wiped her nose, her eyes on Ellie’s stilled figure. 

She felt Joel’s eyes on her. Her dark eyes met him as she shoved her way past him. Piper began walking. She didn’t care if she had no clue where she was supposed to go. All she could think of right now was getting away. Away from the burning building. Away from the terrors that crawled in her mind and scarred her soul. Away from Joel. Away from Ellie. 

Joel let out a shaking breath before looking down at Ellie. He lowered his gaze to the ground. The earth beneath his boots rattled as Joel departed after Piper. He too needed to leave. He needed to leave before the sins of his past swarmed to the surface. So, he left. 

Ellie was the last to move. Piper’s figure was now small in the distance. Joel’s figure was a couple of inches larger than her sister’s. The blood on her knuckles ran cold. Ellie sniffled and wiped away the blood. Her hands found refuge in her jacket pockets as she took one step forward. One after the other. She was deserting–leaving a shell of herself behind in that burning building. Just like she left a part of herself in that mall with Riley’s body. Just like she would continue to do for the rest of her life. Piper couldn’t protect her anymore. No one could. 

꧁_____________꧂

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[kate-m-art]

Haven't had much time to sketch, but have a grumpy boi

[lepusrufus]

Double edged scalpel ch. 8

Ch.1 Ch.2 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5 Ch.6 Ch.7

Summary: Fluff? Smut?? Stuff???

---

It was still early morning, if the bright light and faint chirping coming from out the window were anything to go by. Cassandra had been awake for a while, her body not needing nearly as much sleep as humans did.

She looked down to where Nicole's face was pressed on top of her chest, cheek slightly squished against the skin. Sleep had turned her features into soft lines, unlike her usual nonchalant façade that she wore like a crown. Though the dark circles under closed eyes were still present and, Cassandra mused, probably a permanent facial feature at this point.

The brunette couldn't help the small smile that curved her lips. She couldn't remember the last time someone had been in Nicole's position, so willing to let themselves be embraced by the shadows of the castle and wear the title of her "lover" with such grace. She wasn't even sure someone had been there before.

Though as endearing as the sight was, Cassandra was starting to get bored. Nicole's position half on top of her meant she couldn't really move without waking her up. How much sleep do humans need again? Eight hours? She was pretty sure it'd been eight hours. Besides, what harm would it do to stay and cuddle for a while, not that anyone other than the small redhead in her arms would ever be allowed to know about her apparent love for such things.

She hesitated for a second, the memory of Nicole jolting awake not too long ago making its way to the forefront of her mind. She would have to be more careful than Bela had been, opting for the gentlest way she could muster, fingers gingerly trailing down her cheek.

Cassandra frowned when the redhead flinched slightly at the touch, but soon let out a content hum upon hearing her name whispered by the brunette. Nicole didn't even bother opening her eyes. Instead, she nuzzled into Cassandra's neck and tightened her grip around her waist ever so slightly.

"Mmornin'," she said as if she actually had any intention of getting up.

"Slept well?" The brunette asked, shifting to lay on her side and starting to play with the long auburn locks sprawled on the pillows.

The reply she got was little more than a hum as her half asleep lover shifted and readjusted her position. Nicole's hand started to gingerly trace her spine upwards, then down again, on her waist and then stilled for a moment. She finally opened her eyes and looked somewhere past the brunette locks blocking her view. The arm on Cassandra's waist was removed and stretched towards the nightstand for a few seconds only to fall back on the bed accompanied by a soft groan.

"Can you pass me my phone…" Curse you, short arms.

To her dismay, Cassandra started to laugh at her struggle, earning herself a sleepy glare. She did oblige though, turning slightly and picking up the small object from the nightstand. With the phone finally in hand, Nicole unlocked it and let out another groan at the hour.

"It's so fucking early."

"It's 8 a.m." Cassandra raised an eyebrow when the redhead simply tossed the small object on the bed, probably never to be found again given it's sheer size, and turned back in her arms with an almost childish whine.

Nicole really wasn't a woman of many words in the morning.

"Why'd you wake me up so early?"

"I was bored," Cassandra answered simply.

Of course.

After another small groan, Cassandra decided to change tactics. Her hand moved from red hair down Nicole's bare back. She felt her breath hitch when she got to her hip, slender fingers going in ever so soft circles over the skin and the fabric of her underwear.

That seemed to wake the redhead up at least slightly. Her lips started to lazily move across collarbones, leaving a trail of kisses and an occasional nip. Then up her neck, hand now tangled in dark hair and giving it a light tug to tilt Cassandra's head and get better access to the spot right under her ear. She left a light bite there and the brunette let out a small moan, hand now fully gripping Nicole's hip and pulling her closer.

Cassandra's thigh, now placed between her legs just right, was hard to ignore but Nicole was a woman on a mission. She shifted her weight, now fully straddling the brunette and continued her trail of kisses along her jaw until she finally reached soft lips. Cassandra moaned in their kiss when Nicole's fingers came to rest around her neck, giving it a faint squeeze. She slipped her tongue past slightly parted lips and her other hand started to slowly trail lower.

The sense of satisfaction she got from Cassandra's impatient whine was hard to describe. Revenge for getting woken up so early.

"Just touch me already," Cassandra broke their kiss momentarily, and the redhead decided to be at least a little lenient.

She shifted her hips, giving way for her hand to wander beyond black lacy underwear. One finger started to circle her already wet entrance ever so lightly, causing Cassandra to buck her hips impatiently.

"Nico- ah!"

Her complaint was cut short by two of Nicole's fingers entering her. Cassandra squeezed her eyes shut and bit her lip, stifling a moan.

The rhythm of her fingers was slow at first, enough to elicit a few more groans from the brunete, but her pace steadily increased. It wasn't long before Cassandra was grabbing at the sheets, not trusting her claws on Nicole's back anymore, and trying to clench her thighs together.

Nicole kissed along her neck as she came, the pace of her fingers slowing until Cassandra relaxed under her. Then, she pulled her hand away and sat back down on the soft sheets, taking in the view of her lover trying to catch her breath. When golden eyes finally fluttered open and looked up at her, Nicole grinned.

"Thought you didn't need to breathe."

"Do not get cocky with me." To her credit, Cassandra tried to glare, but her eyes were soft and lips turned into a small smile.

Sweet revenge. Although, Nicole mused, if Cassandra woke her up this early again she'd make her beg.

"I think we should start getting ready."

They still had a few hours to spare, but being early never hurt anyone. Cassandra seemed to have other plans though, as she placed a hand around Nicole's throat and pushed her down into the pillows.

It was Cassandra's turn to straddle her hips, her much taller frame giving the impression that she was a predator ready to sink its teeth into a meal. Paired with the devilish glint in her eyes when she leaned down to whisper against Nicole's lips, it was all too hot.

"And not return the favor? Who do you take me for hmm?"

So much for revenge.

---

Arranging tools next to the autopsy table has always been oddly relaxing. Repetition and the soft clinking of metal against metal when the scalpels were placed in their place. The leather gloves as she slid them on her hands. The apron that was waiting to be put on. All a comforting routine.

With some time to spare, she went to stand behind Cassandra, who was scribbling something in one of the many notebooks she had around. Many, Nicole had learned, as opposed to just one that magically appeared everywhere. She looked over her shoulders to see what she was writing and frowned.

She had one of the textbooks from Nicole in front of her and seemed to be correcting old notes from god knows how many years ago. Notes in german.

"Do you… speak german?" Nicole inquired. She wasn't necessarily surprised but it was weird it had never come up.

The brunette only let out an mhm and finished scratching out something, replacing it with the information from the book. In english. "And french, italian, hungarian, and some russian. My russian's really rusty though, been a long time since it was in use around here."

Okay. Impressive. Nicole supposed that being immortal does come with benefits such as infinite time to learn different languages. Cassandra let out a chuckle at her surprised look.

Then she checked the hour and snapped the notebook shut. Showtime.

Clank

They both froze.

Their eyes darted to the door, left slightly ajar.

Clank

"You… heard that right?" Nicole's question was so low, it would've probably gone unheard if not for sensitive vampiric ears.

"Loud and clear. Stay here."

And she should have really. Cassandra was strong and could take care of herself. Whatever was making noise was probably a bored prisoner wanting to quicken their demise.

But the sinking feeling in her gut gave her no peace. Whether it was worry for Cassandra, the fear that crept up her spine at being left alone, or a mix of both was anyone's guess.

She grabbed one of the scalpels from the tray.

It gave her a false sense of security as she slipped through the door and down the dark corridor connecting the study to the cells.

One of the perks of being small? You can hide almost anywhere. And this was no exception. The shadows hid her well while she stepped for the first time past old cells. Some run down, some full of devices not unlike the ones in the room she had just exited.

She could hear a growl up ahead and came to the realization that it belonged to Cassandra. She was frustrated at something and Nicole wondered if being there was really a good idea. Most likely not. But she came all the way there, might as well see what got the brunette so upset.

She started walking towards the sound of heels against stone and was about to call out Cassandra's name when a shadow caught her eye. She froze.

From where she was, still enveloped by darkness, she saw something peeking around a corner at her lover, but it's back almost completely turned to her. Someone, she realized as she strained her eyes to take in more details. A man, no taller than Cassandra, ragged clothing and something shiny in hand.

Panic took over when she realized that shine came from the reflective barrel of a gun, half in position and ready to shoot. Shoot at Cassandra.

She sprung forward, stealth be damned with how loud her boots sounded against the stone underfoot. The sound alerted Cassandra, who turned in her direction wide eyed. It also alerted the man, who spinned on his heels and let out a choked scream that seemed to ring in her ears.

The sound died in his throat when the scalpel was plunged in his neck, through the trachea and whatever other veins and arteries the blade found in its path. He leaned back against the wall, disgusting gurgling sounds making their way past bloody lips.

"Nicole!" Cassandra was by her side in the span of a second. She wanted to turn to her but instead she stumbled forward, almost crashing into her arms.

Something was wrong.

Adrenaline was finally starting to leave her body and instead searing pain was making its way in her muscles. Her head was starting to spin but she managed to look down only to see a crimson stain on her abdomen. An ugly contrast with her white uniform, really.

Her ears were ringing, but she faintly registered Cassandra let a long string of curses spill past her lips.

Then she was picked up, the wound in her abdomen sending jolts of pain with every hasty movement. She couldn’t help crying out when Cassandra presumably reached the dungeon steps and started ascending.

Staying awake was becoming an increasingly hard task. No matter how much she tried to keep her eyes open, it resulted fruitless as black splotches were starting to obscure her vision.

She finally let her lids shut, her head slumping against Cassandra's shoulder as nothingness started to envelop her foggy mind.

[cozycryptidcorner]

Avery the Fae/Reader, Lemon

You don’t dress up for Halloween.

Not your fault, though, really, because your professors show no mercy for holidays, especially not ones that don’t land them a day off. Classes go on as usual, and so you wake up the latest you can without risking a tardy and go off in the comfortable clothes you slept in. Except for some cat ears and one superman, everything is perfectly normal, and the day passes like almost every other, save for a ‘spooky drink’ coupon at the local cafe.

I probably don’t even need a costume, anyways, you think as you catch your reflection when passing those special mirror-like windows on one of the campus’ buildings. Frankly, you look like you crawled out of hell itself. Dark circles under your eyes from lack of sleep, hair all askew and uncooperative, mouth in a permanent stressed line.

A zombie, probably, you decide, taking a sip of that hot caffeinated mess you ordered from the cafe. A hot zombie, for sure, but a zombie no less. A part of you wants to skip your next class and take a nap, but you’ve already used up your one absence, and you aren’t in a position to risk your grade for sleep. No rest for the wicked, right? Right. Everything else goes as smoothly as can be expected for being sleep deprived, and the night class seems to drag on for a fully stretched eternity, but you are finally free to go home and do your five hours of homework. Maybe if you’re lucky, you can squeeze in two or three hours of sleep.

It’s because you’re tired, you think, stopping for a hot minute when you realize that you’re lost. You hadn’t been paying attention to campus’ many twists and turns in its paths, and so you must have wandered away from the buildings and onto the forest trail that hugs the dorms, except there’s no cement beneath your feet. Not even a dirt trail marks a way out, and you take a full moment to come to terms with being lost, on your own damn campus, no less. You aren’t any kind of simpering pansy, so you turn around and begin to retrace your steps. Which doesn’t work, unfortunately, because after a couple of minutes of walking, there’s nothing to suggest that you’re only a couple of paces from civilization.

Except a drum beat, behind you. It’s faint, probably a half-mile away, but it’s the closest thing you have to a way back, especially since your phone can’t seem to pick up any signal. Maybe one of the school’s many bands are practicing? Right, you’re just going to stumble out into the football field, twigs in your hair, looking very much like you’ve gotten into a fist-fight with the entire forest…

And… Not a band, you realize, stepping into a clearing, but a party.

A costume party, too, by the looks of it, with everyone in soft, flittery clothing and fitted masks. Interesting how everyone seems to be on the same page with the dress code, there’s usually that one dick who shows up in a hotdog suit, regardless of any previous agreements. Elegant is the word you’re looking for, you decide, running into something tall and solider, correction: running into someone tall and solid.

“Oh, hey, sorry,” you apologize, shifting your weight on either foot, “I’m a little lost.”

“I think that you are right where you want to be,” your stranger says, mouth turning up into a strange, fanged smile. His black mask is trimmed with gold, and it doesn’t seem like he’s costuming as anything specific; rather, it appears to be just for anonymity.

“I think I really want to be in bed,” you say, trying to share a mutual we’re in college and want to die of exhaustion moment, but he doesn’t respond with the same energy.

“Perhaps a drink of wine before you go?” He offers, holding out an actual goblet of some kind. Maybe the metal-working students pitched in? Or accepted a particular commissioned order? It looks like genuine gold, which adds to the whole aesthetic of the party.

“Uh,” don’t accept drinks you haven’t seen made, “I’m good for now, really. Just trying to get back home to study.”

“Hm,” he says, taking a good swig from the goblet he had just offered, “good question. Through the trees from whence you came, most likely.”

Of fucking course, he’s drunk and doesn’t know left from right. Great. What an excellent position you’ve put yourself in. Frustrated and confident he wouldn’t roofie himself, you snatch the goblet from his hand and down several large gulps of shockingly sweet wine, maybe a sangria? Or something sugared up to be palatable?

Swirling the goblet around, to seem sophisticated, you ask, “so is this some kind of rich person party? Like an Illuminati meeting or something?”

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you speak of.”

“Right.” You draw out the single syllable, landing hard on the t. LARPers, probably, but not unattractive ones. Those masks don’t hide everything, and the shape of his jaw is not something to balk at, and those lips? Not to be forward in your own brain or anything, but they’re certainly decent to look at. This has to be some kind of weird-ass club, or like a rich dumbass ritual or something, definitely not your average frat party with a variety of random drugs mixed into the mystery punch. “Do you go to school here?”

He looks down at your university sweatshirt, cocking his head slightly. “A place of learning, is it? No, I’m afraid I have not attended such an institution, but I must admit that I have been tempted.”

“Well,” you take another sip of wine, “it’s not bad, as far as universities go. With decent financial aid, too.”

“Best not to drink too much of that,” your stranger says, “it’s much stronger than it tastes, and it’s best you stay clear-headed for the evening’s festivities.”

“One cup can’t hurt,” you say, and then realize that he’s just volunteered you to join in on the fun. Which is kind of weird, you guess, but then again, you aren’t going to complain. This is a way more interesting place to spend your evening, but might as well prop your backpack underneath one of the tables, hiding it beneath the skirt of the pale white cloth. You eye the unmarked bottle that one of the party-goers holds, but set your goblet down by the expensive-looking chinaware, flexing your fingers as they begin to tingle with the warmness that comes with alcohol. “What’s the party’s theme?”

He cocks his head, as though confused.

“Like a…” you try to think of a different way to phrase it. “A topic you pick, and everyone has to adhere to it. The people here all look like they’re, like, what Victorian thought the fairies looked like or something. I think it’s the clothes.”

“We are Faeries, though,” he says, the sides of his mouth curving upwards.

“Hm,” you say, “of course you are.”

“Join me for this dance?” Your stranger asks instead of any rebuttals, holding out a hand.

You look over at the band that plays, masks of distinct animal-like features flickering in the light of the bonfire roaring in the center of the clearing, all instruments vaguely familiar, yet not. Some of them you think you’ve seen before, at maybe renaissance-themed festivals, but the others must be from some kind of distinctly obscure genre of music.

The heat from the fire seems to lick out at your fingers, or maybe it’s the alcohol, already making its way through your system, but you stare, transfixed, at the way the lyre player plucks at the strings of their instrument. The quick movement plays too much with your eyes, you barely see anything more than the blurs of fingers, and you suddenly realize that you are swaying in place.

“I don’t know how,” you say, snapping out of whatever trance you had been in.

“It’s rather simple, come here,” he takes one of your hands, shockingly not unwelcome. Perhaps the warmth of his skin against yours brings you a kind of peace that you need during this period of your life. “I will teach you.”

Your stranger is correct; the dance is fairly simple to learn, mostly because there are very few rules. Sway your hips. Let your feet bounce against the soft forest floor. Let him spin you around and around until your head almost feels light. You’ll be honest, he’s the one doing all the work, guiding you, adding more flair to your steps, one hand resting on your waist, the other weaving its fingers with yours. Now, you may not be one to go out and ballroom dance on the fly, but you would be alright admitting that this is kind of fun.

So you dance. And you dance. And you continue dancing, letting the music remove you from time and space, everything else fades away except for the thrumming drumbeat, the wind in the trees, and your partner. You don’t feel the need to gasp for air, nor do your legs give out and collapse, but you aren’t even aware of how much time has passed. You dance out your pain, your stress, and any alcohol that lingers in your system, a layer of sweat keeping your body cool in the autumn night’s air. An eternity, perhaps, a small piece of infinity shared between you and this stranger, or the briefest of moments that still yield the most intimate bit of time that two people can share.

The song ends- or perhaps, the band finally runs out of music to play. You don’t know what time it is, but you aren’t finished with the party, not yet. The stranger sets his hands on both your hips, eyes as red as the fires of hell, and offers you a promising smile, his shirt loosely clinging to his body, having lost the fancily embroidered vest at some point while dancing.

“Do you want to get out of here?” You ask, making a snap decision not to let the night go to waste.

His smile widens.

The trees are your only audience when he brings you away from the rest of the party, the moon staring over the tops of the red and yellow leaves. The chill of the night might have discouraged anyone else, but you are broiling with energy and ready to continue moving wildly to keep warm. Despite barely being out of sight, you’re already working on his clothes, trying to find velcro or snaps of a cheap costume and failing rather miserably. He seems amused with your attempts, guiding your hands to find a variation of ties and buttons. Soon enough, you have his shirt off, his pale skin gleaming in the moonlight, revealing a chest etched in dozens of tattoos, red like blood against his pale skin, though it’s too dark to make out precisely what they are.

He seems to have a destination in mind, even though you steal most of his attention with kisses and touches. Even though you are in a place you’re sure no one would bother finding you in, he still seems determined to herd your desperate body further away from the camp, until the both of you get to a clearing, free of roots strangling the ground. Jupiter and Saturn stare blankly down from their perches in the sky, the stars surrounding them twinkling, as though applauding your conquest.

“I didn’t catch your name,” you gasp after a breathless kiss.

He pauses, almost put off by the request, like he’s startled you would even ask. Before you can even regain the ability to feel nervous, he says, “Avery.”

“Avery,” you repeat, running your fingers through his hair. “That’s a nice name.”

“And what may I call you?”

Like a fool, you give up your first name without much thought, but you are too excited about where the night is going to remember what you said even a second later. It doesn’t seem to matter, though, because his mouth is against yours, and your back is on the cold, dewy grass before you even register that he pulled your legs off balance. He’s a good kisser, you think hazily, his lips traveling down from your mouth to your collarbone. His mouth is nice and hot against your skin, already sending pleasant little shivers down your spine as he works, and you find yourself grasping at the cold, dying grass of the earth in order to pull your spirit back to reality.

The insides of your belly melt as he lifts your shirt up over your breasts, and you’re quick to discard the garment as he sucks at the skin just above the hemline of your pants. He needs help with the button and the zipper, his lithe fingers struggling to figure out the mechanics, so you undo everything for him. After letting out a thankful grunt, he leans forward, pressing his lips right on your stomach, sucking hard enough to leave a red mark that may bruise in the morning.

Then he kisses the skin just above where your underwear ends, a jolting shiver pulsing through your core at the contact. When you glance down at him, the barest light emanating from the roaring bonfire only a few meters away, he seems so… focused, you think, at his task of slowly stripping the last bit of fabric away from your body. Methodically, he tugs, fingers threading through the straps at the side, his eyes glimmering in the light bleeding out from the moon herself.

Slowly, steadily, he presses his mouth where your leg and torso meet, nibbling at a bit of flesh before moving ever so slightly downwards, opening your legs and seemingly liking what he finds down there. Carefully avoiding any of your puckered, wet skin, he instead moves his lips just to the side, clearly enjoying the act of driving you to the brink of insanity. You can feel the smile he wears as he teases you further, switching over to your other thigh.

Almost impatiently, you wrap one of your legs around his shoulder, arching your back when he finally lashes his tongue out to trace the outline of your flower. A heated spark ignites through your nerves, a charge of fiery need flooding your body and into your core. He seems to enjoy the breathless whine you offered in response because he does it again, inching closer and closer to your clit.

Roughly, you tangle your fingers into his long, flowing hair, pulling him closer and begging with no words for him to stop teasing and finally give you the pleasure you need. Avery finally complies, pressing his tongue right up against your clit and tracing little circles on and around it. The heat of his breath only helps further stir the coals in your womb, your back arching against the gentle curve of the world as you cry out.

He seems to deeply enjoy your keening, popping off your puckered flesh in the brief moment it takes for him to smile up at you, like a beast satisfied with the tortured screams of its prey. The way his tongue moves up, around, and down your clit makes you want to die, dirt clinging underneath your fingernails, bits of grass tearing as you claw at the ground. Still, he takes your keening reaction to double his efforts, using his fingers when his mouth is busy elsewhere, rubbing gentle little patterns in the opening of your slit.

There, you can feel your orgasm approaching as he begins to explore your core with his thumb, pushing and rubbing against the throbbing folds with some level of curiosity in his eyes.

“You’re beautiful,” he says, a passing observation.

You’re so beyond the point of return that you could barely even draw in the words to thank him before you’re overcome with shaking trembles emanating from your very core, your insides quick to bend and break at his beckoning. It doesn’t take much more teasing from Avery before you’re crying out for him, voice cracking with pleasure and desperation, your fingers threading through his hair so tightly you don’t know where you end, and he begins.

When you are nothing more than a heaping, teary-eyed mass of trembling flesh on the ground, he crawls up from between your legs, kisses your stomach, your ribs, your breasts, your collarbone, all the way up to your mouth once more. You can taste yourself on his tongue and lips, warmer than the wine and almost twice as intoxicating, and by the wild stare in his eyes, he’s drunk with your nectar. And, quite frankly, ready to devour you, his kisses all teeth and heat, mouth dexterous against the curves, rises, and plateaus of your body, like he knows so very intimately every square centimeter of you.

There’s a hard rock length against your stomach, one that you can feel, almost tragically against your skin as he lavishes your lips and chest with his blessed attention. Even though you walked into this situation expecting a one-night stand, you don’t know, this feels light it could rocket through your life and end up becoming

“More,” you rasp, surprised that your voice is even working, ” more.”

He understands that rough and demanding command, stroking your hair with one of his free hands, mouth offering up a myriad of kisses to your neck and collarbone, an odd, overcoming need to please you emanating off of him, one like you’ve never dealt with before. Out of the corner of your eye, you think you see the familiar masks of those at the party earlier, but Avery turns your wandering gaze back to him with his insistent, feral kiss, his chest trembling with heated need.

“Do you want my cock inside you?” He asks, wanting to hear you say it.

���Please,” you almost snarl, wrapping your legs around his waist.

“Hmm,” he almost manages to fool you that he could care less, but by the way his body grinds and presses against yours, he’s so, so close to traveling the radius of the earth itself to comply. You can hear the rustle of fabric as he strips away what’s left of his ensemble, moving away from your body and leaving you almost horrifically cold.

It doesn’t take a lot for him to angle your legs properly, your thigh rubbing up against his throbbing member. He’s at least gentle with how he impales you, his entrance slow and gradual, kaleidoscope eyes staring so intently into your very being that you wonder if you’ll survive the next time pleasure crashes down around you. And he feels so good, the crisp, autumn grass against your back the only thing keeping you from becoming so lost beneath his trembling body.

He must share your thoughts because even though he’s only eased in, his forehead pressed against yours, his breathing is short and shallow like he could hardly believe the pleasure your body gives him. Once he’s fully sheathed, he swears, voice quiet, yet filled to the brim with lust. You wrap your legs around his waist, hoping to feel him further, your voice and your body begging him to continue, to move, but he’s almost in a trance.

You’re impatient for movement, for that slick friction between your thighs, so you quickly take matters into your own hands. With no finesse, fueled only by spite and determination, you shift, switching positions using your legs and arms. Avery simply rolls with it, a ghostly smile on his mouth as you pin his hands to the ground, chest heaving from the effort, a layer of sweat misting your skin despite the chill of the night.

That seems to break whatever space he had retreated to, eyes lit like a roaring forest fire as he beholds your body from beneath your legs. His voice is raspy, but the demand is calm, collected, like he’s waited for thousands of years for this, for you. “Use me.”

You let out a breath, steadying yourself on his body to comply, and grind. His eyes roll back as you do, starting slowly, his back arching off the ground, his chest heaving with pleasure at the loss of control. Careful to control the pace, you let yourself be taken by the pleasure, the joining slick and hot, your core roaring with approval and greed. More, more, more.

Everything is suddenly vibrantly alive, the forest rustling with a wind you don’t feel, crickets singing hymns in the open field, the moon herself licking at your bodies with her soft, precious light. You think you hear chanting in the distance, your brain muddled with his delicious praises and lust that you don’t try to investigate, too focused on feeling his length pulse and move through your folds. Tears prick at your eyes, not from sadness, no, and you couldn’t possibly know their purpose because this feels so good, like his body was made for you.

This climax almost hurts, you felt it approaching and you knew it would be a lot, so you brace yourself, both hands gripping his shoulders like a lifeline. You look into his eyes, and you see… more, than just fundamental attraction, more than pure, unadulterated lust, but you’re so far gone you can’t pinpoint what it is, exactly, before you’re overcome.

Everything in your body is aflame, your core quaking enough to make you think, for just a brief moment, that the earth itself is tearing apart, you cry, you whine, you scream for him, and he’s there, holding onto you for dear life. Telling you that you’re perfect, you’re beautiful, that you’ll never want another man so long as your legs are wrapped around him so tightly like this. You think you believe him, gasping for air, fingernails digging into his skin hard enough to draw blood, though he doesn’t seem to mind in the slightest.

It takes a lot of concentration to bring yourself back into your body, your soul and spirit so besotted with desire, but you manage it, feeling his hands grip your thighs so tightly his fingers may leave bruise marks. You bend forward, letting him take the reins as you try to stay present enough in the moment to kiss and nip at his neck, teeth tugging at his skin, the aftershocks still moving through your nerves like waves on a storming night. Still, though, you want him to feel what you did, to become undone by your hand.

And he does, his thrusts becoming so uneven that you begin to grind, ghosts of your orgasm weaving through your flesh and womb. A crescendo of noise seems to overtake the clearing, the air becoming like static, the hairs on your arms standing on end. Overcome, he curses and snarls in a language you don’t understand, his voice hard and soft at the same time, his hips jerking as something warm and wet pulses out of his member, filling you up and spilling out onto his pelvis.

Avery sits up, still joined within you, shaken, but startlingly and brilliantly alive, chest heaving with the effort of breathing. He presses his mouth against yours in a myriad of kisses, soft, possessive, tender, needy. There is still some amount of desire on his lips, but without the same uncontrollable yearning broiling just beneath his fevered skin like before.

Then he says your name, and a shiver goes down your spine, your very being somehow attentive to whatever he says next, as though your entire universe suddenly floods down and descends on this one, single person. He says it again, rolling it over his tongue like a wine taster, trying out each of the letters as though they offer a different kind of sweetness, his eyes just as wild as they had been when you held him pinned to the grass. A sliver of fear pierces your chest, making you want to push him onto the ground and take him again, but he has other plans.

“I’ll walk you back, dove,” he says, pressing his mouth against your collarbone, though he doesn’t kiss you again, not yet. “The sun will soon be up.”

[thefanficmonster]

Deep Breaths

Valkyrae x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Panic Attack, Mentions of past domestic abuse, Mentions of alcohol and drug abuse, Swearing

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Angst to Fluff, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Having received a call from the correctional facility where their alcoholic/drug addict mother is being kept, Y/N gets some intense nightmarish flashbacks to a time that still haunts them despite a decade having passed. Luckily their girlfriend Rae is there to comfort therm.

Requested by Anon. Hi dear! Thank you so much for your lovely request, I hope I captured what you wanted to read! Sorry it has taken me so long to complete and post the fic, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. Love, Vy ❤

“Hey Y/N, I-“ One step in the living room and that’s all it took for Rae to pick up on the melancholic mood in the room. 

Her partner hasn’t even noticed she’s entered. Instead, they are sitting hunched over on the couch, elbows on knees, hand seeking their hands’ support to stay upright and their eyes hiding a thousand yard stare that’s got Rae worried sick.

“Babe, what’s wrong?“ She asks softly, inching closer to the couch to take a seat next to Y/N, “You can tell me anything, you know that, right?“

Through the fog surrounding their brain, they somehow manage to catch onto Rae’s words, forcing themself to give her at least a nod in response as to not scare her with their unresponsiveness. They can’t bring themselves to speak, it’s too hard on them to even think of what to say let alone spit it out, especially when their chest feels like it’s caught fire and their mind is still going haywire, heartbeat thumping in their ears as the adrenaline rush refuses to cease.

“Hey, look at me...“ Instead of sitting down, Rae ducks down in front of Y/N, taking their hands in hers, almost wincing at how cold they were. “Tell me what’s bothering you, baby.“

The girl is trying her best not to freak out or lose her cool, despite her already quickened heartbeat she can hear in her ears. She has every right to be reacting the way she is. Her permanently happy, bubbly, optimistic and cheerful partner who always seems to be as energized as though they’d just had a gallon of coffee is now a pale ghost sitting statue-still, staring off into the void with eyes that look empty yet terrified simultaneously.

Y/N’s mouth falls open as though they want to say something but the words die out somewhere along the way, refusing to leave their mouth and give them the relief of sharing their pain with the only person they trust limitlessly.  “I-...“ They finally manage to find their voice though their gaze is still avoiding hers, “I got a call from the correctional facility where....” They trail off, a bitter taste forming in their mouth, making their stomach turn and bite the inside of their cheek as they feel the urge to throw up start to become unbearable. “She wants to s-see me...”

They don’t need to say anything else, Rae’s already connected the dots and her complexion has gone just as pale as theirs. She knows how sensitive and triggering this topic is for Y/N, how many bad memories are tied to this one person in their life. To make matters worse, they’re the one person who was supposed to take care of them yet she couldn’t even take care of herself - Y/N’s mother.

Rae distinctly remembers the night Y/N told her the truth about their family life - or the lack thereof - almost a year since the two had started dating. Rae never questioned their secretiveness and respected their privacy enough not to ask about it, patiently waiting for them to tell her on their own time and own terms. It was no secret even from the very start that Y/N had a very hard time connecting to people and trusting them. It took them maybe two or so months to be able to call their now-girlfriend a friend instead of an acquaintance. Rae didn’t question that too, didn’t push to pursue a friendship with them since, from her point of view, they were already her friend, so she patiently waited for them to come around and start trusting her enough to accept her within their tightknit circle of trusted people called ‘friends’. 

Things progressed from purely platonic to sweetly romantic a little more quickly which pleasantly surprised Rae. The two were quick to grow to be inseparable though that didn’t mean Y/N gave up all their secrets. The darkest one, which happens to be this one regarding their mother, is the one they hid the longest and the last one they had to share with their girlfriend.  The night they did tell it was a very emotional one: plenty of tears were shed by both Y/N and Rae but luckily they had each other’s embrace to seek comfort in and protect themselves from the ghosts and demons of a past Y/N spent so much time running away from.

An abusive parent is not a bit of baggage you can just get rid of. It’s something that weighs so heavy on you and is such a big part of who you are that you can feel it as a part of you. It haunts you no matter how much you try to run or hide. It’s not something you can shake off or forget. You might have physical and visible scars from the time spent with said parent or the trauma can be entirely psychological - regardless, it lives within you. Follows you around, raises questions you’re not sure you want answered, degrades you - making it seem like what happened was your fault in one way or another - it destroys you slowly very time something triggers a memory of that time, be it a simple conversation that has nothing to do with the subject or be it the glimpse you accidentally catch in the mirror of a scar on your body - a scar you remember being inflicted on you like it was yesterday.

That’s how Y/N’s been living. Feeling responsible, feeling unloved, feeling chained to their past. They’ve done all in their power to appear unbothered and let it be visible, not even when around Rae since they don’t want to worry her.

But seeing as their past has caught up to them now and they inevitably have to face it, they’re forced to let it show, they couldn’t hold it in even if they tried. Although they don’t wanna play the unbothered, unfazed part any longer. They have been strong on their own for far too long and it’s taken a toll on them. If they keep up with the act, they’ll be completely and utterly crushed.

Not that they’re feeling any better at the moment.

“Stay with me, Y/N. Stay with me. Keep your eyes on me, ok? Take deep breaths. Deep breaths, baby. I’m here, I’m not going anywhere. It’s ok. You’re ok.“ Their short-circuiting brain has been spasming under the influence of the adrenaline, anxiety and panic brought on by the memories of every time they felt small and helpless while at the merciless hand of their alcoholic, drug addict abusive mother, begging to be spared the pain of being hit with whatever object the deranged woman could get her hands on - yet somehow, Rae’s voice still reaches them through all that messy dark fog. “Come on, Y/N, stay with me ok? Please don’t do this, I’m right here, there’s no need to be afraid,”

“I...“ they can barely hear their own voice over the racing of their heart, “I don’t...I don’t wanna go....“ is all they manage to say, a tear falling from their eye.

“It’s ok, we don’t have to go. We won’t go. Your mental health is the most important thing here, Y/N. We’re not going and that’s final.“ Rae replies vigorously, tightening her hold on Y/N’s hands.

Despite the state they’re in, Y/N can’t help but take notice of the use of the word ‘we’, Rae’s reminder that they are not alone, that she’s there for them and will not let them go into this alone. That brings a small smile to their face, calming their heart and panic ever so slightly, “N-no, I have to. It...it’ll help me.” They sigh before attempting to express themself again, “It’ll give me...closure, I guess.”

Seeing that Y/N’s doing a bit better, Rae’s hand move to cup their face instead, pushing the stray strands of hair away for their features to be full exposed to her, especially their eyes, “Are you sure you want that? Can you handle it? It’s not supposed to be your obligation, Y/N. I mean, the woman’s a monster and she hasn’t even thought to contact you in half a decade, and now she suddenly wants to get back in contact? She has the audacity to disturb you after all this time? You don’t have to agree to this, Y/N.”

Y/N shakes their head, “No, no, I want to. I want to agree to this. I want to live a normal life, Rae. I want to leave her and all she did to me behind. And I can’t do that if I keep running away. What happens when I stop to catch my breath? It still catches up to me like I made no progress whatsoever. That’s not a way to live, not the way I wanna live, at least.”

Rae nods slowly, fully understanding what Y/N is referring to. She maybe hasn’t said anything about it ever, but she’s always seen that little bit of darkness behind the happiness and excitement Y/N always displayed. Rae’s heart ached every time she caught glimpse of those little signs Y/N was putting on a performance while actually hurting on the inside. 

And if a meeting with their mother was what would help them finally fully embrace a happy life, then who was she to stop them.

“Ok.“ The girl sighs, “Ok, we’ll go see her, but only if you’re 100% sure you’ll be able to handle it.“

They shake their head again, sighing with unease, “I can never be 100% sure, my emotions have a tendency of being unpredictable so I’ll just have to pray I don’t have a breakdown or a panic attack.”

Rae swipes her thumb over their cheekbone wiping the tear that just escaped their eye, “If you do, don’t worry, I’ll be right there. You know the drill: squeeze my hand, take deep breaths and most importantly, don’t forget I’m there for you. Ok?”

Y/N nods their head, the small smile reappearing on their face. They squeeze Rae’s hand and take a long inhale. “Hand squeeze, deep breaths, noted.” They say when their eyes meet hers, “Thank you so much, Rae. Thank you so much for putting up with me and all my shit and thank you so much for never giving up on me no matter how much work I am or how hard dealing with me and my demons becomes.”

Rae’s heart stings at Y/N’s words, tears brimming her eyes when she raises a bit on her knees to press her lips against Y/N’s forehead. “Don’t thank me, angel. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you and I never want to get gratitude for it. Love doesn’t ask for gratitude, and neither do I.”

Y/N lets out a small laugh to cover up an emotional sob that escapes their lungs. “I love you, Rae.” They say with a trembling voice.

“I love you too, Y/N.“

This time, the Y/N’s lips met the lips of their girlfriend, reminding themself that their safe haven isn’t a place, it’s a person - their girlfriend who means the world to them.

[chasing-classics]

Our Little Secret Sessions- Nate Jacobs x Reader

Pairing(s): Nate Jacobs x Reader

Warning(s): SMUT, language, toxic relationships, older reader, dubious consent

Requested: Yes, by @bokillylovesloki​

Summary: After landing a job as the high school’s new counselor you settle into your new home, unaware of what danger lurks just outside your front door.

 Part 2

 You blew the hair out of your face, managing to load the last box full of kitchen appliances onto the hardwood floor. You smiled, looking around triumphantly at your new home. It was spacious, far too big for just you, but it had been an absolute steel on the market. Once you had gotten the call from your new boss, Principal Hayes, that you had landed the job at East Highland High School as the new counselor you quickly packed your bags and jumped at the opportunity. You were fresh out of college, bright and intelligent, but still young for the job. You were saddened to leave your friends and family up North, but this job had been far too good to pass up. Now all you had from your hometown were two dozen boxes of mementos and furniture, your old yet faithful car, and a handful of missed calls from your friends/parents asking if you made it safely. You were so busy scrolling through the various texts and voicemails that you didn’t notice a lanky figure enter the doorway of your humble abode.

  ‘’Hey,’’ a deep voice caused you to gasp and nearly drop your phone onto the floor.

 You spun around to find a guy standing at the entrance of your new home, where you had stupidly left the front door wide open. Your eyes quickly analyzed him. Dark hair, brown eyes, pouty lips that were set in a cocky smirk, and a jawline that you were convinced could cut through glass. He leaned lazily against the door, his hand still held up from when he had casually been knocking against the wooden surface. He was tall, incredibly tall. He looked slightly younger than you, maybe twenty-one or even twenty-three.

 ‘’Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. I live next door and noticed you were moving in, I wanted to know if you needed any help,’’ the guy chuckled a bit, eyeing your tense form. You laughed in relief, hand on your chest in an attempt to calm your racing heart.

 ‘’I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention. Thank you for the kind offer, I’m Y/n, Y/n y/l/n,’’ you offered a welcoming smile, stretching out your hand to properly shake his hand. He returned the favor and the moment his massive hand took hold of yours’ it felt like icicles had been thrusted into your back.

 ‘’I’m Nate Jacobs, it’s nice to meet you y/n,’’ he smiled back. What you assumed he meant to be a reassuring smile instead filled your insides with butterflies and sent your nerves into a frenzy. He was attractive, but you could vaguely hear the alarm bells going off inside your head.

 ‘’Well thank you very much Nate, but I think I brought everything inside already,’’ you referred to the numerous boxes and wrapped up furniture that was currently littering your new living room, spilling into the kitchen.

 ‘’No problem, just let me know if you need help with anything,’’ that crooked smile was a permanent feature on his face, you quickly discovered. You nodded your thanks, moving to close the door when the power suddenly went out.

 ‘’Great, just my luck,’’ you groaned, moving to find a flashlight somewhere.

 ‘’If you want I can check your electric panel?’’ Nate’s deep voice sent shivers up your spine.

 ‘’Are you sure it wouldn’t be too much trouble? I can call an electrician in the morning,’’ you offered, finding out that said flashlight that to your frustration was full of dead batteries. Candles it was.

 ‘’It’s no problem at all,’’ you could hear the amusement in his voice as he brushed past you to check the panel. The heat from his body filled you with a sense of longing, something primal. For a moment, you wondered what it would be like to moan out his name.

 ‘’It should be in the backyard, by the picnic table,’’ you called out, shrugging off the less-than-appropriate thoughts running wild in your imagination.

 You had successfully located a handful of candles along with a lighter. The cozy glow of the flames illuminated your house to the point you could now see where you were going without bumping into anything. Noticing that your phone battery was running low, you set it down on the counter and prayed nothing more would happen tonight. You had to be up early for the first day of school tomorrow and you didn’t aspire to look like an extra from the Walking Dead due to dark circles and lack of sleep. As you nervously tapped your foot while awaiting Nate’s return, you squealed in delight as the lights came back on. You turned your attention the French doors that led to the backyard, the smile quickly fading from your face when you saw Nate’s drenched form. You bit your lip when his blue hoodie clung to his toned form, the bulges that were his abs teasing you.

 ‘’Got a towel I can borrow?’’ Nate smirked, his hair falling into his eyes as he shook himself off.

 Your mouth still hung open as you quickly dug through a random box, successfully finding a fluffy cotton towel.

 ‘’What happened?’’ you wondered, eyes straining to remain on his face and not his muscular body.

 ‘’I turned the power back on, I must’ve accidentally reset your sprinkler system too and, well you can figure out the rest,’’ he scoffed, removing his drenched hoodie.

  Jesus Christ.

  ‘’See something you like?’’ Nate’s voice was low as he leaned down closer to you. You could feel his breath hitting the side of your face and shoulder. Your eyes instantly fell to the floor, your cheeks set aflame with embarrassment.

 ‘’Don’t look away, doll,’’ he whispered, hand gently cupping your neck to get you to meet his gaze.

 ‘’I don’t think I’m your type,’’ your voice was soft. Low, but vulnerable,  and Nate took notice.

 ‘’Because you’re a few years older? Come on y/n, we’re both more mature than that,’’ he groaned, taking one step closer to you, than another and another. Your back quickly met the wall, gasping at the rough contact.

 ‘’This isn’t right,’’ you whispered, trembling as Nate’s thumb stroked your bottom lip.

 ‘’What are you? Twenty-four?’’ Nate drew back, his thumb still pressed against your bottom lip as you nodded your head.

 ‘’So what’s a couple of years?’’ his husky voice groaned into your ear as he bent down, pressing open mouth kisses on your exposed shoulder, up the base of your neck.

 ‘’N-Nate,’’ you whimpered, clenching your fists until your knuckles turned white.

 ‘’Just give me tonight, you’re a beautiful young woman, let me show you what you do to me,’’ he grunted, rolling his hips against your clothed center. You could feel the bulge straining against his still wet jeans. He was big, you could feel it. And you were desperate for his touch.

 You craned your neck up to kiss his lips, throwing caution to the wind. It was just a few years, so what if he was just a couple of years younger? He clearly wanted you as badly as you craved him. His height, his arrogance, everything about him screamed that the age difference between the two of you wasn’t much, that you had nothing to worry about. He looked no younger than maybe twenty-one. The way he carried himself put your mind at ease. You allowed yourself to enjoy just one night with a handsome stranger.

 His kisses became rougher with each passing second, his hands running up and down your body in a frenzy. You moaned and mewled as his teeth nipped at your collarbone, your neck, and then your lip. His rough hands easily covered your breasts through your thin shirt. Your own hands stroked his bare chest and alternated from tugging his hair to clawing at his back in a teasing manner.

 ‘’I’m going to make sure you remember this,’’ he grunted, pressing his clothed erecting to your legging-cladded center, pushing it into you and further into the wall. You whimpered, kissing the column of his neck, tracing a vein that ran along the side of it with your tongue.

 You yelped when he moved away from you, dragging you toward the surface of your kitchen island. Your cheek collided with the smooth surface, hands sprayed out on either side of your head to cushion the impact. You shivered as he easily tore through the material of your shirt as if he had claws. Your skin broke out into goosebumps despite the hot later summer air.

 ‘’Look at you, all excited and needy for me and I haven’t even gotten started,’’ Nate groaned, hand pressed against the exposed small of your back, running upwards to the lacey material of your bra.

 ‘’Nate,’’ you moaned out as he began grinding himself into your backside. You could feel the heat emitting from his pants and felt the angry throbbing of his cock even through his jeans. His left hand cupped your breast underneath your bra while the right easily managed to unclasp it. You fidgeted as his fingers tweaked and rolled your sensitive bud, the other hand doing the same to the other breast. You whined as he gripped your tits, forcing you backwards to meet his thrusts as he grinded into you harder.

 ‘’Can’t wait to stretch that pretty pussy, make you ride this fat dick,’’ he grunted, tangling a hand into your hair and forcing your face upwards as he roughly kissed you. The kiss had you whining, panting for more. Your cheeks flushed as you felt the familiar sensation of your slickness coating your womanhood. You were quickly flipped around so that you were now able to look up and face Nate. His lips were red from the rough kisses, yours felt bruised and plump. He eyed your exposed tits as you slowly took off the lace bra. He easily leaned over, taking one bud into his hungry mouth as he began biting and sucking. You threw your head back, using your elbows to support your weight on top of the island, your legs trapping Nate between them.

 You stroked his hair as he fervently sucked on your sensitive nipple. You cried out each time his teeth yanked and tugged on the delicate flesh. Once he had his fill, he switched to the other and began the process all over again. You were so lost in the erotic moment that you didn’t even notice his hand make its’ way into your leggings until you felt him roughly pull your lace underwear to the side and forcefully plunged two digits into your tight canal.

 ‘’Ah! Nate, it’s too much!’’ you cried out, burying your face into his neck as he lapped at your hardened nipple.

 ‘’I’ll tell you when you’ve had too much,’’ he growled, resuming to thrust his fingers into your pussy as you whined and whimpered below him. All you could do was grasp his biceps and whine as he stretched you out to his liking. There was something completely carnal in the way he took control and used your body like an instrument. His breathing became more labored and intense as his hand sped up, the obscene squelches causing you to hide your face further every time he entered you. You both knew your release was quickly approaching from the way your pussy clenched around his index and middle finger. The way your nails dug into the skin of his arms as you moaned and squirmed under him.

 ‘’W-what?’’ you cried as he retracted his hand, Nate quickly shutting you up as he forced his fingers into your mouth. You gagged, taken back at his rough actions, moving to pull back your head in protest. Nate would have none of that.

 ‘’No, no. Be a good slut and suck on them for me,’’ he commanded, a heavy hand forcing you further onto his hand as he yanked your hair.

 You breathed through your nose, tears brimming the corners of your eyes as you tried not to choke on his slender digits. The sweet, tangy taste of your juices danced along your tongue.

 ‘’Good girl, now spit,’’ he growled, forcing his fingers deeper to the back of your throat. You coughed as saliva coated his hand, desperately trying to catch your breath the second he released you.

 You had no time to prepare yourself as he roughly picked you up, managing to shove your leggings and underwear down in one pull. He sat you on the counter as he hurriedly forced down his jeans. The hand that as coated in your saliva angrily jerked at his impressive girth. You began having second thoughts on sleeping with Nate at that point, his thickness and length alone were something to be afraid of. He was going to destroy you. You opened your mouth to protest when he forcibly grabbed your thighs, dragging them apart and pushing you down so that your bak met the cold surface of your counter.

 ‘’Scream for me, fight if you want,’’ Nate whispered before jerking your body forward, thrusting his entire cock into your cunt.

 ‘’Nate!’’ you screamed, body lurching back from the force of his thrust. You pulled and slapped at his chest as he began bucking into you, a firm hand pressed between your bouncing breasts to hold you down into place.

 ‘’Fuck, it’s so much better than I expected,’’ he moaned, jaw going slack as the sound of his balls slapping against the soft flesh of your ass echoed throughout the room. You continued to scream and claw at the counter, nails digging into the palms of your hands as your body bounced from his pounding. You had never taken a man as thick as Nate, and it hurt in the best way. You struggled against him, torn between giving into the pleasure and desperate for some space to relieve the burning feeling of your insides being stretched to accommodate him. The hand that was pressed on your chest slid down to firmly rest against your stomach.

 ‘’I can feel myself moving inside you,’’ he grunted, his cock throbbing inside your greedy cunt. You whimpered, eyes rolling to the back of your head as your lips parted in complete pleasure and need.

 ‘’Harder, Nate,’’ you begged, legs now wrapped around him as your hands gripped his forearms to have something to hold onto.

 You regretted your words as his thrusts angrily sped up to the point you worried your island would collapse from under you. A hand gripped your throat as he dragged your body back and forth to meet his brutal thrusts. You were a symphony of moans, cries, and nearly animalistic noises as he fucked into you. It felt like he was splitting you open with his cock, but it was one of the most divine feelings you had ever experienced in your lifetime. Lips crashed against yours as he forced one of your legs higher around him, the new position allowing him to his that sweet, sensitive spot inside the depths of your core.

 ‘’I’m going to cum,’’ you moaned out clawing at his shoulders as you gripped him in every sense of the word.

 ‘’Cum on my cock, baby. Milk me,’’ he snarled, hips snapping and bucking wildly.

 One particularly sharp thrust triggered your release as you moaned Nate’s name, quivering under him as wave after wave of pleasure coursed through your entire being. Nate’s thrusts slowed down only slightly to admire the view of your juices coating his member, the tightness in his balls alerting him of his own release. He gripped your jaw in his hand, forcing you to keep your eyes solely on him as his thick release painted the walls of your cunt. His breathing was hot, fanning your face as a thin sheet of sweet coated both of your bodies. For a moment, you just laid there as his dick continue to shoot cum deep inside of you.

 ‘’That was amazing,’’ your voice was hoarse, lips trailing along his jaw as he smirked above you.

 ‘’I’m not done yet,’’ he replied, taking you into his arms and leading you to your couch in the living room. He dropped your sore body onto the cushiony surface, towering over you as his dick stood proudly once more, your combined juices still coating it. His eyes fell onto your exposed pussy, where his cum began seeping out your abused hole.

 ‘’Get on your knees, turn around, and hold onto the back of the couch,’’ he growled, his cock bobbing.

 You hesitated, resulting in Nate forcefully turning you over himself, as if you were nothing more than a ragdoll. Your hands gripped the back of the couch as he kneed your legs apart. The air left your lungs as he buried himself to the hilt once more before he began rutting into you.

  By the time you awoke you hardly had anytime to get ready. You searched your memory for a moment before you realized you had passed out after Nate took you from behind for the third time last night. You hardly had anytime to shower and look presentable before dashing out the door lest you be late for your new job. You winced with every step you took, although you tried to pass it off as a smile to your new colleagues. You wondered if after work you should stop by Nate’s house, or if it had been a one-night stand. Either way, he was probably at his own job by now. If he wanted to see you again, he knew where to find you.

 You sighed in content as you sat down at your desk in your very own office. You smiled at your golden name plate and a welcoming plate of cookies left by the ladies who worked at the front office. A knocking interrupted your thoughts.

 ‘’Ah, Principal Hayes, good morning,’’ you beamed, pushing yourself to stand up and shake your employers hand.

 ‘’Ms. y/l/n I hope the office is to your liking?’’ Hayes grinned, shaking your hands in a firm but welcoming grip.

 ‘’It’s more than enough, truly, thank you,’’ you smiled.

 ‘’Terrific, I hope you don’t mind but one of our students wanted to welcome you to the campus.’’

 ‘’How sweet! Of course,’’ you smiled warmly.

 Your warm smile was shattered and the air was knocked out of you the minute the figure walked through your office door. Nate Jacobs.

 ‘’Hi, I don’t think we’ve met yet. I’m Nate Jacobs, welcome toe East High,’’ he smirked, reaching out his hand to shake. The same hand that a few hours ago had been finger banging you on your kitchen counter. The same hand that had wrapped around your neck as he came inside you. Nate fucking Jacobs.

 ‘’H-hi. I’m Ms. y/l/n,’’ you stuttered out, a cold sweat falling over you.

 ‘’Well I’ll let you do your thing, don’t be late for class, Nathan,’’ Hayes bid his farewells and before you could protest, was out the door. You turned your attention to Nate, eyes narrowed and lips in a firm line.

 ‘’What the fuc-‘’

 ‘’I’d watch your mouth if I were you, Ms. y/l/n. Wouldn’t want a pretty face like yours to end up behind bars. Dirty sluts like you don’t do well in jail. Especially if you’re locked up for sex with a minor. Pretty sure that’s statutory rape,’’ he grinned that evil Cheshire cat grin.

 You suddenly felt extremely nauseous.

‘’Y-y-you said you were just a few years younger,’’ you whispered, taking a step back as he stalked towards you. Out of instinct you closed your eyes when you felt his breath on your neck, hands sliding to rest on your hips.

 ‘’I didn’t lie. I am younger. You should’ve asked for specifics,’’ he whispered, one hand cupping your ass through your skirt. You pushed him off of you, devastated and terrified and disgusted all at once.

 ‘’What kind of game are you playing?’’ you snarled. The same grin was stuck on his devilish face.

 ‘’No games. Those are for children. I’m going to tell it to you straight; anytime I say so, you get on your knees for me. Whether I want you to blow me after a football game in the locker room, or bend your legs over my shoulders as I rail you in the backseat of my truck, no matter where or when. If I want you, I get you.’’

 You felt the tears begin to build up in your eyes as a shaky hand pressed against your mouth to muffle any cries that dare trickle out.

 ‘’Why are you doing this?’’ you sniffled, shaking as his hands roamed your body.

 ‘’I wanted you, so I did what I had to, to get you. And now-,’’ he bent forward to kiss the corner of your mouth.

 ‘’I own you.’’

[alch3mic]

Can we get some more Cheshire? Maybe fluff? He deserves it.

“...can’t sleep..?”

“...No.”

You hadn’t meant to awaken Sans as you tossed and turned through the past hour in a failed attempt at trying to make yourself comfortable, but it was inevitable with how close the two of you were laying together in his bed. 

His eyesockets were barely open, those familiar pink eyelights seeming to carefully look over your features as his gaze was mixed with just a tinge of sleepiness and concern. Not surprising, considering normally you had no trouble just closing your eyes and snoozing away whenever you laid on his bed, which is why you were forbidden from laying on it whenever the two of you were editing together.

Tonight however.. you just felt restless.

Despite the fact that sleep clung so closely to your subconscious, it just wouldn’t overtake you, even as Sans’ fingertips gently brushed away a few strands of hair from your face. 

“something on your mind..?”

You let out a small hum, running through all the thoughts bouncing in your head carefully.

Well.. there was a lot of the usual stuff, like due dates and upcoming events to prepare for, more things to buy for videos and scheduling for collabs.. but.. none of them were eating you up inside. It was just normal everyday things.

“..Not really,” you finally said, feeling him twirl a strand of your hair. “For some reason I just can’t relax..”

A somewhat sly smile danced across his face as an equally concerned expression found its way on yours.

“would you like me to-”

“Not a chance, Chessy.”

“you didn’t even let me finish!” he complained, the hand that was once fondly stroking your hair now pinching your nose as he glared at you.

“I already know what you’re going to say,” you said flatly, your clogged nasal passage making you sound funny.

“oh, you do huh?” Sans huffed, finally letting go of your nose. “then tell me, what exactly was i going to offer?”

“To sing.”

......

The silence was all you needed for an answer, but his expression of surprise was a nice added bonus before he looked away from you, pouting.

“...no i wasn’t..”

“....Right.” you said sarcastically, watching a bit of guilt creep into his expression. “.. So what were you going to offer then?”

He didn’t even miss a beat as he spoke again, just proving to you how capable your little kitty cat was at lying on the spot.

“i was going to offer to read you a bedtime story.”

...

Well that at least sounded a lot less harmless than his.. singing, so you turned to lay on your back and closed your eyes.

“..Alright then. Tell me a story.”

You felt some rustling on the other side of the bed before hearing him grab something off the nightstand before being greeted by the quiet tapping of his phalanges against his phone screen.

“What, you don’t have one ready?”

“shush. i have something juuuuust purrfect~!”

..Oh boy.

You waited patiently for him to start, even as a bright light seeped in through your eyelids, making you squeeze them shut even tighter.

“a-he-he-he-he-hem!”

Despite having your eyes you couldn’t resist rolling them at his dramatics before he started.

“...the two of them were still soaking wet, rain clinging on to both skin and bone, but nothing could stop the burning, passionate desires between these two anymore now that they were alone!

..Except..!

‘C-cheshire..!’ Alice cried out as they broke away from another heated kiss. ‘W-we can’t! ...Your fans.. t-they would..!’

‘How many times do I have to tell you, I don’t care about them!’ he said ravenously, pushing them firmly to the bed. ‘The only thing I care about is you! How could you not see that!’

‘...Because…’

They couldn’t speak anymore, the pain of always being second to his adoring fans almost too much for them to bear.

‘...I guess I don’t have any other choice then..’ he said clearly, finally pulling it out. ‘I’ll just have to show you the proof of my desires by putting it in you-’”

“..Wait, wait.. Hold the phone,” you said, opening your eyes and looking over to the skeleton beside you.

“hmmmmm?” he returned playfully, glancing at you with a cheeky expression.

“Why are you the top in this situation?”

“..i’m reading a smut fic someone wrote of us on the internet and that’s the first question you ask?”

“Yes.”

…..

His face scrunched up while you looked at him deadpan and you could see a bit of irritation creep into his socket.

“what, you don’t think i could top?”

“No.”

He frowned at you, puffing his cheeks out before casting you both back into darkness by turning his phone off with a clear ‘click’. You blinked once or twice in hopes of getting your eyes to adjust but before you had the chance you felt something….

Pin you to the bed.

..And two familiar pink eyelights now seemed to gaze at you almost dangerously.

“..are you... reeaaaallly sure about that, my cute little alice?”

His tone dropped almost to a hush as he adorned an all to hungry expression on his face, the feeling of his hand just barely dancing near the edge of your sleeping shirt sending goosebumps on to your arms.

It traveled up, to your stomach as he delicately traced circles on your skin, and for a slight moment your brain ceased to function.

….Until you grabbed his shoulders and easily pushed him back to the other side of the bed, now straddling him and pinning his arms down as he looked at you with a bewildered expression.

“Yes,” you replied breathily, lowering your head to the side of his skull. “I am.”

.......

It fell quiet again as you lifted your head, watching that permanent pink blush of his grow even deeper as he couldn’t meet your gaze. Instead he seemed to be looking just about anywhere that wasn’t your face, from the ceiling back to the nightstand and then to the floor.

“..t-that’s..”

Well, looks like you managed to catch him off guard now, not even feeling him struggle underneath your grasp as you let go of one of his arms to run your fingers against his jawline. You knew right where his weak spot was, just under his chin as you gave it a gentle scratch and he quietly began to purr.

“Now let me ask you something,” you said, getting him to look at you with a lidded gaze. “Are you ready, kitty cat?”

He didn’t reply, instead letting himself grip on to your shirt as his eyesockets squeezed shut while you bent down again to gently pressed a kiss to his cheek...

Before completely slumping yourself on top of him.

“…...a-alice!?” he said in a small panic, squirming underneath you for a moment.

“Hmm?” you hummed, almost nonchalantly.

“..w-what are you…”

“What? I asked if you were ready.”

.......

“for…. this!?”

“Yeah… for falling asleep,” you said simply. “What did you think I was talking about?”

…. It fell completely quiet again and you had to choke back a laugh as you felt the skeleton tense underneath you.

“...you! ...YOU!” he puffed, clearly struggling with his word. 

“Yes?”

“get off!” 

“Nah..”

“get oofffffff!” he complained louder, trying to wiggle underneath you to no avail

“Nope.”

“ahhhh stars..! dammit..!” he complained, lightly hitting your back. “you’re such a jerk! awful! the worst!”

“And you’re really comfortable. Look I’m falling asleep.”

“no you’re not! you’re still talking you dummy!”

“Sorry I can’t hear you over the sounds of me sleeping.”

“don’t you dare fall asleep on me now, you damn tease-!”

“Snoooore.”

“you-! you’re not even snoring you dumbass you’re just saying it!”

“Good night Chessy.”

“aaaaaaliiiiiccceeeee!”

[phantasmagoriaoriginals]

Here There be Monsters: Mage Basic Intros (Part 2)

Cybele

She/her, ??? Mage.

Around three hundred years ago, Cybele wanted to help find peace between humans and Creatures. To do this, she found a way to merge with magic itself, change her form, and become something that the world would listen to. From there, with new, unheard-of powers, she formed the Organization and shaped it to work toward her goal and dream. 

While Cybele started out as a remarkably kind, gentle, loving person, her passions reached heights greater than she was meant to handle. Merging with magic turned her into something inhuman, and as it is, she’s slipped into a dream-like mental state where she only sees the reality she wants to. She’s lost in her own head and forgetting the world around her. 

Cybele’s magic is unique in that she can use all seven kinds with near mastery. This should be impossible, however, and the consequence of such power is the slow deterioration of her mental state. 

5′6, early 30′s (physically). Statuesque, shapely build, gentle, pleasing features, and light, rosy skin. Waist-length, golden-blonde, curly/wavy hair with distinct bangs, ocean-blue eyes with a bright sparkle in them. A soft smile almost always graces her lips, and her eyes are kind. 

Gisette

She/her, Blue Mage.

Born to a high-ranking Mage family, Gisette spent her youth with high expectations. She was supposed to be perfect from day one— with all the constant work that comes with that. Indeed, she grew to reach a powerful position in the Organization, but along the way, she’s become jaded to the world and the supposed purpose of making it better. 

Stern, strict, and severe, Gisette is the kind of person who doesn’t need to be big to be terrifying. She holds high, hard-earned authority, and her very posture makes it clear she knows it. An outstanding strategist, Gisette has spent years with the weight of responsibility heavy on her shoulders, choosing“should” over any “want” she may have had. 

Gisette’s magic involves bringing written messages to life. This mainly suits her work as a strategist and organizer, as she can send moving, encrypted, and physically activated text wherever she pleases. 

5′4, early 50′s. Waist-length, dark brown, almost black hair usually worn in a high bun. Dark gray eyes, pale skin, a fair amount of wrinkles. Usually wears earrings. Despite being a petite woman with a fairly slight build, the way Gisette carries herself shows her status well. 

Maximus

He/him, Red Mage.

Like Gisette, he was born to a powerful Mage family and experienced much of the same pressure. The two were childhood friends and held feelings for each other from a young age. Maximus was the one who could never quite let go of them, even after Gisette gave up on her personal longings in favor of what she knew she had to do. 

The opposite of Gisette in almost every way, Maximus is animated, dynamic, and imposing. His physical size makes most people cower, but his boisterous nature either sets them at ease or makes it worse. While he’s more than capable of taking things seriously, a beaming smile and openly held passions get him where he wants to be. 

Maximus’s magic involves augmenting his physical strength. Instead of merely utilizing his energy, he doubles it back and ups his capacity for strength and movement, giving him nearly superhuman capabilities. 

6′10, early 50′s. Huge, heavily muscled, powerful build. Shoulder blade-length, curly/fluffy hair a shade of blue so pale it’s almost white, almost always restrained in a low ponytail. Tanned skin, dark crimson eyes, chiseled, handsome features, and a good few wrinkles from age. 

Rosaria

She/her, Green Mage.

Aurora’s older sister. From a young age, she was considered a prodigy at Green magic and was showered in the attention and praise that followed. While she remains a sweet, caring person, Rosaria’s outlook toward the world and other people has been distorted by the way she was treated growing up. She can be quite oblivious and ignorant. 

Charismatic and sociable, Rosaria is the picture of the person everyone loves. Between her gift for magic and her skills with interpersonal relations, she’s well-respected and well-loved by almost everyone around her. Rosaria is quite a friendly, cheerful, and kind person, but she struggles with considering others’ feelings properly. 

Rosaria’s magic is typical Green magic— drawing from the world around her to manifest various effects. In her specific case, she augments both her physical strength and her speed capabilities. 

5′9, late 20′s. Tall, curvaceous build with an hourglass figure. Short-cut, chin-length white hair worn in a bob that frames her face. Wide, deep gray eyes with a slight green tint to them and pale lashes. Her features are quite appealing and she always seems to be wearing a smile. 

Adrian

He/him, Yellow Mage.

In his early teenage years, Adrian made a mistake with his magic that caused his body to stop aging. He’s forever stuck at the age he was when the incident happened, even though his mind continues to develop. He became a skilled Mage nonetheless... but life seems to never give him a break. An unfortunate incident with a girlfriend was the tipping point. 

Adrian is intellectual, poised, strict, and somewhat snobby. He has the personality of s stuck-up professor, and definitely enough ego to mirror it. Despite being internally depressed and angry with the world, he’s determined to ignore his unpleasant history and pretend like he’s not miserable. He has more than his fair share of pride in himself. 

The magic he uses involves bringing his words to life. When Adrian speaks a command with magical intent, it happens. He has to be quite careful with it, as the exact mechanisms are tricky and complex. 

4′11, late 30′s. Adrian’s body is youthful, small, and unaging. Brown, past chin-length hair in a fairly straight cut, with bangs, and brown eyes only a few shades warmer and more hazel. Carries a near-permanent scowl and posture that conveys his pride and experience. 

Gloria

She/her, Yellow Mage.

Formerly a Mage of high rank, Gloria’s magic started to affect her mind about a decade ago. From there, it’s been a slow slide into delusions and distorted thinking that have left her with a very different role. When she was younger, she loved her magic for what it could show her and the things she could experience, but now, she can hardly keep track of them.

Gloria used to be a composed, passionate woman who handled her job well and enjoyed every second of it. She was outspoken, bold, and graceful in both speech and mannerisms. After her magic changed her, though, she’s become very disorganized in thought. She has trouble telling what’s real, what’s tangible, and what’s in the present.

The magic that twisted Gloria’s mind is the ability to see into the past and future. While limited, it was highly useful, and she pushed herself too far with it, leading to her mind being unable to handle the information. 

5′5, mid 30′s. Graceful, art-like build with a soft figure and not a lot of muscle. Caramel-brown hair worn in a shoulder-length style with longer sidelocks, shining, golden-hazel eyes, and fair skin. Her eyes have a vacant, spacey look in them more often than not. 

Coulson

He/him, Blue Mage.

For the most part, Coulson has a normal past. He fought his way through education and training to be as skilled as he currently is, and that fight gave him an unhealthy amount of pride. He’s always been competitive and authoritative, and can’t stand others besting him in any way. He worked his way into the Organization for the sake of power. 

Coulson is strict, self-absorbed, and demanding of others. In his mind, he’s almost always the most capable person in the room and he acts like it. He’s a stickler for rules (when they suit him), dismissive of other people and their opinions, and aggressively fixated on his authority in the chain of command. He takes a lot of pride in his power and abilities. 

For magic, Coulson uses a variety of small tattoos self-engraved into his body to create a variety of effects. He adds new ones quite frequently as he learns new applications and methods of utilizing them. 

6′0, mid 30′s. Tall, somewhat lanky build with unnerving strength for how little muscle is visible. Dark blue, curly hair slicked back on the right side and left loose on the left. Darker blue eyes, pale skin, and two silver piercings (right nostril and right earlobe) connected with a thin chain.

Rochia

She/they, Brown Mage.

A perpetual hard worker, Rochia grew up with a love of both machinery and magic. She enjoyed experimenting with everything she could get her hands on and seeing what worked. Once she joined the Organization, Rochia wound up assigned to a top-secret project that killed her optimistic view of the world, leaving her bitter and pragmatic.

Sharp-tongued, logical, and no-nonsense, Rochia is dedicated to her work— even when she hates it. She dislikes unrealistic fantasies and people who go against rules and sensible choices and favors those who devote themselves to something tangible with their whole hearts. Despite losing faith in the world, small parts of her still cling to hope. 

Rochia’s magic is something of a mystery. It relates to creating and maintaining magical machines, but the exact nature of what she knows and does is kept secret by the higher-ups of the Organization itself. 

5′2, mid 20′s. Petite and rather stocky in build, with few curves. Dark brown hair worn in a shaggy, somewhat messy pixie cut easily kept out of the way. Gray, brown-tinted eyes with perpetual dark circles underneath, light skin, and forming wrinkles at her brow. 

[jonkentt]

Louisiana is for napping

the lovely lovely author yaksomins (!!) graciously let me post a little something inspired by their “the humidity in louisana is unforgiving...” !!

****

Sarah was out with the kids, spending the weekend at a friend’s house. Bucky had offered to help Sam do some work around the house. Saturday they’d fixed up a few things that Sam was excited to have done for his sister, but today Bucky was completely useless. The temperature had spiked and Louisiana summers were relentlessly humid. The air was thick enough to slice. After yet another melodramatic sigh from Bucky, Sam had convinced him that they could both walk around the house in their boxers. The ceiling fans spun in a chorus of gentle whirs. Not that it was much help. Both their bare chests glistened faintly with sweat. Sam was a bit alarmed by how often he caught himself admiring Bucky’s back. Though in fairness to himself, those broad shoulders were well worth admiring. In the late afternoon, Sam retreated to douse himself in a cold shower and when he came back out, Bucky was sprawled on the floor, chest rising and falling in peaceful sleep.

Partners, Sam thinks, shaking his head in disbelief. How on earth did this guy end up in my life? These days he couldn’t imagine a future without Bucky in it. Didn’t want to anyway. Passing the days with Sam’s family, Barnes had proved himself to be a real softy. Which reminded Sam...

He makes his way over to sit beside Bucky. He has a theory to test. Bucky, he noticed, got very affectionate when sleepy. On an afternoon weeks ago, Sam found Bucky fast asleep on his couch.

“Hey, Bucky,” Sam said softly. He knelt beside the couch to nudge Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky’s eyelids fluttered. He sucked in a deep breath and scrubbed his face.

“Wha—?” his voice was groggy.

“The boys will be home from school soon. Figured I should wake you now to spare you whatever shenanigans they run in here with.”

Bucky sat up, shifted his feet off the couch, propped his elbows on his knees. “From school?” Sam tried and failed not to find Bucky’s sleepy confusion incredibly endearing. “How long have I been out?”

Sam shrugged. “Most of the day.” He heard Bucky mumble an amused curse. “Don’t worry about it, man. Looks like you needed it.” Sam cupped Bucky’s face. He brushed his thumb over the dark circles he thought were a permanent feature there. Though recently, they’d started to fade.

Bucky smiled and nuzzled into Sam’s hand. He turned to plant a kiss in Sam’s palm. Sam froze for a moment because that was something he absolutely never expected Bucky to do. Sure, Bucky was going in for Sam’s hugs fairly often now, but this? Bucky’s expression was so soft, Sam forgot what he was about to say. His surprise must have shown because when Bucky finally opened his eyes, one look at Sam reminded him where he was. He quickly leaned out of Sam’s reach and cleared his throat.

“Well, uh, thanks for sharing your couch.”

Sam blinked. “Anytime.” And the moment passed. Bucky was his normal self and Sam started to wonder if he imagined it. Until the next time woke he Bucky.

His partner was curled into the corner of his couch, dozing while Cass and AJ played video games. Sam was surprised he could sleep through the boys’ shouting and bursts of laughter. After telling his nephews to wash up for dinner, Sam sat beside Bucky and touched his knee.

“Wake up sleepin’ beauty.”

“Do I have to?” Bucky mumbled without opening his eyes. He took Sam’s hand, laced their fingers together, and hugged Sam’s arm to his chest. Bucky pressed his cheek to the back of Sam’s hand and smiled.

Sam watched this wide-eyed. Sarah came in and asked if he needed help with dinner.

“Nah, it’s all ready! I was just about to come get you...”

“But then you found a cuddle buddy,” Sarah remarked with a smirk.

Sam’s cheeks burned. He pulled his arm out of Bucky’s grasp and gave his partner a light shove. So, yeah, Sam started to notice a couple of things. That Bucky liked naps. And that waking him up didn’t make him grumpy, it made him cuddly. Once, Sam asked Sarah to wake their sleeping guest just to see what would happen. Sam was sorta hoping she’d be startled by getting pulled into a full-on hug. But Bucky just blinked himself awake and offered Sarah a sweet smile.

Huh. So maybe Bucky only got affectionate with Sam? Well that had to be confirmed. Now was the perfect time to do it.

Sam looks at his partner fast asleep on the floor. He slides his legs between Bucky’s, rests a hand on his shoulder.

“Bucky. Buckyyy.”

Bucky mumbles incoherently. He looks through his eyelashes at Sam. Something about the grin that spreads over his lips makes Sam’s heart jump. Bucky sits up and leans his face right into Sam’s. He smells like sweat and coconut shampoo. “What?”

“Nice nap?” Bucky hums agreement and brushes their noses together. Sam’s chest is a butterfly house. He wraps an arm around Bucky. “Steve never mentioned this about you.”

“Whatchu talkin’ about?” comes the sleepy reply. Sam rubs his thumb over a knob in Bucky’s spine. The smallest sigh escapes his partner’s lips.

“Tell me, Buck, are you this adoring when anyone wakes you up?” Bucky’s eyes fly open. Sam grins. “Or am I just lucky?”

Bucky looks caught. He leans away from Sam’s face quickly, as if just realizing how much personal space isn’t between them. He starts to shift backward but Sam spreads his hand wide on Bucky’s lower back, holds him in place. Startled, Bucky’s eyes flit down to their legs, noticing how tangled together they are, caught by Sam’s hand warm on his knee. When he looks back at Sam, he narrows his eyes. Sam breaks into a glowing smile.

“Sam…” he starts hesitantly.

“Mmhm?” Sam squeezes his leg. Bucky pauses for a long moment.

“Do you… want me to kiss you?”

Sam almost laughs. That is exactly what he wants. How hadn’t he realized it sooner? Bucky’s lips twist into a devious grin and he leans real close again.

“Kiss me like you mean it, Barnes,” Sam whispers and Bucky laughs softly.

“Sam, wha—?” But Sam doesn’t let him finish. He closes the space between them with a kiss sweeter than honey. Time crawls to a stop. Bucky cradles Sam’s cheek. He pulls at Sam’s lips warmly, tenderly. Sam thinks his chest is going to explode and butterflies will fill the whole house, twirling around them in a rainbow of fluttering wings.

“I’m the lucky one,” Bucky says against his lips.

“Well, that’s very true.”

Bucky laughs and wraps his metal arm around Sam. He leans back, pulling Sam with him. Sam’s whole body unfolds on top of Bucky. He can feel Bucky’s heartbeat against his chest. With Bucky’s arms wrapped around Sam’s neck, they kiss endlessly. Slow and deliberate. Sam is dizzy with the tender sweetness between them. It feels so natural. So right.

Eventually, Bucky leans his head back and drops his arms. “Ugh, it’s too hot for this,” he groans. But his bright smile gives him away. Sam grins down at him.

“I suppose I could find someone else to kiss.”

“Nooooooo,” Bucky pouts, sliding his arm around Sam’s waist. Sam shifts to roll off Bucky but his grip tightens.

“So you just want to whine about it but not let either of us move?”

“Aren’t you comfortable?”

“I am, actually,” Sam admits.

“Then stay right here,” Bucky whispers. Sam wiggles himself farther up Bucky’s body to reach his lips again.

[passerine-writes]

Symbols - Chapter 4

Warnings: Mentions of anxiety, negative thoughts Word count: 1633

Masterlist

Chapter 3 | Chapter 5

The guilt settled in when I saw Bokuto the next day. He looked horrible, the dark circles under his eyes said it all. His eyes didn't shine as bright and he didn't try and talk to me. Akaashi hasn't either

A week and a half passed after the library incident and neither of them had made an attempt to talk to me. I was prepared to be alone permanently, after high school I'll go to some college and meet someone new. Right?

Wrong.

How terribly wrong I was to think that they had all given up when the most persistent person alive has yet to confront me.

From Kuroo: We need to talk

So much for a relaxing Saturday afternoon.

To Kuroo: No we don’t, I already told the others that they wouldn’t understand so just give it a rest. Sorry Mr. Chemistry, but I don’t believe in soulmates. I never have and I doubt I will.

From Kuroo: Who said soulmates can’t just be friends with each other?

He had me there.

To Kuroo: Fine, but I’m not doing this over text.

From Kuroo: I’m on my way over

To Kuroo: No, I haven’t had friends over since elementary school and I’m not starting now. Where do you want to meet up?

From Kuroo: The park that we all used to hang out at, I’ll be there in ten

I sighed dramatically and got changed. He can wait for all I care, it's a five minute walk and I haven't even fully woken up yet. I slipped on a pair on leggings, a long sleeve and a sweater, my hair pulled back into a messy bun as I checked to make sure I have everything. It was starting to cool off a little, but just enough that I did need to layer. Just enough that the wind is starting to chill.

Once I got to the park, it was like muscle memory took over as I walked to what we used to call our designated bench. Kuroo was already there, sitting patiently until he saw me. He sprung up and went for a hug but I stepped back, a discomfited look taking over his features.

“Sorry, I uh, don’t really like being touched.” My voice was awkward as I sat down, Kuroo sitting down a few inches away from me.

“You suck at lying.” My cheeks flared but I blamed it on the wind. “Physical affection is basically your main love language, platonic or romantic. You told me that you were touch starved constantly even if Koutarou would be all over you. You don’t have to lie to me, you’ve never been able to.” I swallowed the lump in my throat, not expecting him to be this forward about it. “So what changed? I see what those two mean, you’re different now.”

“A lot changed.” His head tilted towards me, not expecting me to be vague yet honest.

“Keiji has a theory,” my breathing halted for a moment, “he thinks you don’t like soulmates and run from talking about it because of your parents.” The lump in my throat swelled, they weren’t supposed to know about that. “Based off of your reaction, he was right. Him and Kou told us about what happened. But my gut is telling me there’s more to it that they don’t even know about.” Damn you Kuroo.

“You wouldn’t understand, okay? It’s not as straight forward as everyone wants to tell themselves. I get it, you all want to help or whatever but why won’t you guys just stop? You’re supposed to be mad at me because it makes it easier to stay away and feel less guilty about the choice I made.” He was silent and I looked away, fighting back the tears in my eyes.

“I never told you about my parents. They were soulmates, but they fought. All the time it was just constant fighting. So I started going to my Grandma’s house as much as possible, she lives next door to Kenma, so I would go there too. When I was nine, my parents divorced and my Grandma legally adopted me. I blamed the soulmate bond at first, thinking it would solve everything. But then I realized that it wasn’t the bond. It was the people. Both of my parent weren’t the best people separately but together? They were ten times worse. When I realized that, I was probably fourteen at the time. And I told myself that when I met them, I would do everything in my power to not make it turn out like my parents. So I don’t blame you for how you’re reacting and how you’re feeling. I don’t know what else may have happened but I do understand.” It fell silent, a thick blanket of nerves in the air.

“I’m sorry.” 

“What are you apologizing for?”

“For how I left, making Bokuto think you guys did something wrong, leaving without an explanation and causing Kenma to have more panic attacks because I was just being selfish.” I bit my lip and fiddled with my fingers. “I cope by isolating. I- I shut down. I shut everyone out don���t let them see what I’m feeling. But then, I go too far. I get scared of going back so I don’t.” Because I deserve it, I don’t deserve for them to come back to me.

“We all miss you, but I think it’s time you give them a proper explanation too. Plus, you being around will help your panic attacks, along with Kenma’s. But it’s gonna be harder not giving you any physical affection, so can we get the bonds opened and we can be four guys dating with their girl best friend? And if you change your mind down the road, then we’ll go from there.” I froze up and thought about it. The vulnerability scaring me. They would be able to know so much, how I’m feeling, when I’m not okay, when I’m hurt. Bokuto isn’t smart enough to put it together unless he really thinks about it but usually he’s going to dull it down to volleyball or “emo” mode.

“I- I can’t just yet. I’m sorry. With Bo, it’s one thing because he sorta accidentally found out and grabbed my shoulder. I just, I’m not ready to be that vulnerable.” Kuroo nodded and stood up.

“Well, let’s head over to Kenma’s house. We can swing by your place and grab your PSP and medication. My Grandma lent me her car today since I wouldn’t be out long.” With a deep, shaky breath, I nodded and followed him to the car.

The entire drive was nerve rattling, the closer we got the faster my leg bounced against the car floor. Kuroo kept sending worried glances my leg every few seconds, probably concerned I was about to drill a hole in the floor with my foot. But he didn’t bring it up. Once we pulled into his driveway, I felt nauseous and clammy as the realization that this was real punched me in the face.

“You okay, little atom?” My heart twisted at the old nickname he gave me in middle school. I just nodded and kept my mouth shut, not wanting to risk another word vomit. He sighed but lead the all too familiar way to Kenma’s room. He knocked on the door and smirked, his body hiding my own. “We have a guest today.” He moved and gave me a dramatic entrance. Kenma and Akaashi stared at me in shock, but Bokuto got excited very fast. Barreling forward and encasing me in a hug. Slowly and awkwardly, I hugged back, the familiar feeling of his strong arms making me feel protected eased my nerves a small amount. He abruptly pulled away and his head hung low.

“Sorry, forgot you don’t like being touched.” He sounded like a kicked puppy and looked like one too.

“You’re alright, Bo.” His head shot up at the nickname, clearly taking it as making progress and smiled brightly. 

“Alright, before he gets too excited. Say what you need to and set your boundaries. We won’t push you.” I nodded as my body buzzed with anxiety. The three of them watched intently as I awkwardly walked into the room and sat on the very edge of Kenma’s bed. The Kozume in question currently sitting in one of his bean bags, Akaashi on the bed a foot or two away from me, Bokuto opting to sit on the floor and Kuroo leaned against a wall.

“I’m sorry, for leaving abruptly, a-and with no explanation. None of you guys did anything. I just, I don’t believe in soulmates for me. After what happened with my parents, I can’t do it. I’m okay with being friends again if you all would be open to that. But, I run when I get scared. When I saw the soul symbols for the first time, I cried and I didn’t know what else to do, so I ran and it just got harder to come back. I’m sorry if any of you thought you did something wrong, I promise you didn’t. And I- uh, I’m not ready to open all the bonds yet. I’m not ready for it just yet but until I am, I’m okay with Bokuto hugging me and stuff since he already accidentally opened the bond.” Everyone was silent, but Bokuto nodded happily, liking that things were getting better. Akaashi and Kenma muttered a small okay and soon three of the boys were in a conversation. I pulled out my PSP and hesitantly invited Kenma to a game. His head snapped up, instantly meeting my eyes and allowed the smallest of smiles out before joining.

[nightshade-minho]

-Nightmare (7)-

Warnings: (Smut! Finally!) Drunken Sex, Slight Manhandling, Minho is somehow both v. rough and soft at the same time, Marking Kink, Minho lovin’ your body up, Nipple Play, Very very slight Navel Kink, Fingering, Unprotected Sex, Slight Degradation, Creampie, Cumplay etc.

Word Count: 4k

Song Recs: “church” and “slow down” by Chase Atlantic (Cause that’s what I listened to when writing this, and it may have made me go a little crazy on this smut scene lol.)

Your brain was all over the place, your heart thudding as Minho pulled you out of the room, into the empty hallway. He slammed you against the wall, trapping you with his arms as he looked deep into your eyes, glaring.

“I’m confused. Y/n. I’m so fucking confused.” He couldn’t take it anymore. His heart was a mess, love and hate mingling in him, suffocating him.

You blinked rapidly. He was way too close to you. You couldn’t think straight with those lips right in front of you.

“W-what? What’re you talking about?”

He scoffed. “You’re well aware, don’t bullshit me.”

He used his finger to tilt your chin up. “Recently, you’ve been making me feel...things. I don’t like it. I fucking hate it, okay?” Minho felt tears prick his eyes. He hated the way you were making him vulnerable. He hated being weak. The scariest thing about all of this was the fact that it wasn’t recent. He’d just been denying and trapping his emotions for almost sixteen years now...you’ve always been his weakness.

He bit his lip. You were looking up at him with those wide eyes of yours...and it was doing things to him. God, he fucking hated the way your expression was making blood rush south. He leaned in closer. “I don’t like that asshole either. I don’t like the way he keeps flirting with you. You’re mine, okay?” He growled.

“What? I- you can’t say stuff like that. I’m not your girlfriend.”

He smirked. “Technically, you are.”

Before you could say anything more, his lips were back on yours as he feverishly kissed you again, like a man starved. You moaned into the kiss, hooking your arms around his neck as he ran his hands up your body, slipping them under your top. “Fuck, I wanna rip this right off you-” He snapped, lips going to your neck as he kissed you.

“N-not here.”

“You’re right.” He said, pulling away from you, grabbing your wrist again. “Come on.”

***

The car ride was silent, the tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. You kept glancing at him, noting the way he gripped the steering wheel tightly, gritting his teeth.

When you reached, Minho silently waited, looking straight ahead as he continued tapping the steering wheel. You removed your seat-belt, nervously getting out and walking to your apartment, looking behind you to see if he was following.

He was, his eyes fixed on your back as the two of you got inside the elevator. You pressed the button to your floor, leaning back against the wall. Your heart was pounding as you thought of what was going to happen. God, were you even ready? It was all happening too fast.

Of course, there had been times when the sexual tension between you two was so evident that even some of your mutual friends noticed it. Those incidents grew in number over the last two years, when you started living together. In fact, you’d once walked in on Minho naked in the shower. You hadn’t seen much though, cause he’d shrieked so loudly that you’d closed the door immediately.

But it wasn’t like Minho left much to your imagination anyway. He would constantly walk around shirtless, and occasionally, he would wear grey sweatpants that made it crystal clear that the man sometimes liked going commando. You suddenly realized that in a while, you might actually be seeing his cock, and not just the outline of it. You slowly glanced at Minho, observing the quiet anger in his expression...and knew you probably wouldn’t be able to walk for the next week.

But as he continued avoiding eye contact, you wondered if anything was going to happen at all. Maybe it was all just a misunderstanding? You began to calm down a little bit. Yeah, definitely...you were freaking out over nothing. Surely Minho wouldn’t throw away sixteen years of friendship for one night of drunken sex...right?

You were wrong. Because as the elevator reached the floor and you walked out, his mind was swimming with thoughts. He couldn’t comprehend his emotions correctly. Him? In love? It was such an unusual concept to wrap his head around.

Minho had always used sex as a way of forgetting things, a way to satisfy himself and get rid of stress. Maybe the reason he was feeling these things was out of curiosity, that had risen from living with a girl? After all, puberty had treated you quite kindly. You were no longer the innocent girl who’d spilled glue on him in kindergarten. 

He couldn’t deny that he’d had some not-safe-for-work thoughts about you before. You were also the first girl he’d ever masturbated to. He inwardly chuckled when he thought about high-school Minho and the way he’d had no other material to jack off to. After that day though, Minho had chalked it off to the fact that you were the only girl he interacted with, until he got to college. But then of course, history had repeated itself in the shower a few days ago.

Also, you were the only girl in his life that he hadn’t fucked. Yes...maybe finally having sex with you would push these feelings out of his head? He needed to remind himself that you were just like the other girls. He was an expert at fucking after all...he’d done this a thousand times!

Why then, did he feel so nervous?

***

As soon as you opened the door, Minho lifted you up, causing you to gasp in surprise before you were pushed against the wall again, your legs now wrapped around his waist as he furiously pressed kisses to your neck, marking you up. A moan slipped past your lips as you held onto him, the way he was pressed up against you making you dizzy. “Why...” He breathed down your neck, “...are you making me feel this way...”

You whimpered as he ran his tongue over the red patches blooming on your neck. “There, now that fucker can back off.” He smirked, staring at his masterpiece for a few seconds.

He pulled away from you, stretching his arm to close the door. Supporting your weight, his arms moved under your thighs as you clung to him, the two of you still kissing as he carried you further into the apartment. He sat down, sucking on your bottom lip as you felt him grope your ass, groaning. You moved to adjust yourself on his lap, pausing when you felt his hardened crotch brush up between your thighs. He grinded up into you, slipping his hands back under your top. “Fuck...I need this to be off now. Need to...need to see all of you.”

You tugged the edge of your top, licking your lips. You didn’t know where the sudden confidence came from, but you reached up to cup your boobs, running your fingers over your nipples until they became erect, pressing through the thin fabric as you let out a wanton moan. Minho watched you, the intensity and ardor behind his stare making you wetter than you thought was possible.

“Fuck. That’s it.” He flipped you around, pressing you onto the couch, crawling over you as he spread your legs apart, fitting himself between them. His eyes raked over your face as he grabbed your top, clutching it before ripping the flimsy material in half. You squealed in shock. 

“What the fuck...Minho!?” His eyes ran over your exposed boobs as he groaned, ignoring you.

“I...you tore my shirt!” To be honest, you didn’t really care...the action had only made you soak your panties even more, and it wasn’t like you were ever going to wear that top again. From the way Minho raised his eyebrows, it was evident that he knew that as well.

“No bra, angel?”

“Well, it was a halter top...”

He leaned down over you, taking your boob in one hand as he kissed the other, keeping eye contact as he took your nipple in his mouth. You winced as he bit down on your bud gently. Running the pad of his thumb over your left nipple, he softly suckled on your right one, letting out the lewdest moans as he paid attention to your breasts, mercilessly sucking and biting your tits until they were red and supple.

At this point you were dripping, pussy throbbing, anticipating him as he kissed his way up to your lips, sighing into your open mouth. You let your hands drift up to his hair, softly tugging as he moaned against you, pressing his bulge against you harder.

It was dark, since the two of you hadn’t bothered to switch on the lights, but you could still see his face thanks to the moonlight streaming in through the glass balcony doors. He looked so far gone, biting his sore lips, his eyes lidded as he stared at you, looking like he was committing every detail to memory.

You were pretty sure his expression was reflected in you as well. He hummed as he pulled away, ripping your shirt a little more, and throwing the shreds onto the floor. He mumbled something as he pressed his palms over your torso, scooting backwards a little and running his tongue over your belly, circling your belly button, before flicking his tongue in and out of your navel playfully. Pulling away, he dipped his finger in, slightly tickling you.

You whimpered, causing him to chuckle as he continued sucking and licking all over, christening your entire body with his saliva.

As Minho kept up his ministrations, there was a small voice in the back of his head asking him why he hadn’t fucked you yet. Usually, he engaged in minimum foreplay before he screwed someone. However, with you...somehow, he was consumed with this deep desire to keep loving your body like this. He wished he could leave permanent marks all over you...there was an ardent feeling of possessiveness that was gripping him. But for now, he settled for hickeys, adorning your body with his marks as your moans graced his ears.

“P-please..”

“What was that?” Minho looked up at you, his lips curling as an evil grin took over his features.

“I need you...Fuck, I need you so bad. P-please touch me...” You begged.

His grin disappeared as it was replaced with a look of potent passion as he growled, fiddling with your jeans button as he tried to pull them off. You moved to help him, but his hand shot out to grab your wrist, pinning it over your head as he used his other hand to slide your jeans off you.

He adjusted himself, spreading your thighs apart and pressing kisses to your inner thigh. He pulled back a little, his eyes focused on your center. “Fuck...baby, you’ve drenched your panties through. Did you really enjoy my mouth that much?”

You nodded, pouting. He groaned. Using his index finger, he brushed over your covered clit. You were wearing lacy panties similar to the ones you’d worn that night when he’d found you in his bed, except these were a dark red color. His cock pressed painfully against his boxers, but he needed to enjoy this moment a little more. He couldn’t believe you were sprawled in front of him like this. He’d never imagined this would happen.

As he rubbed your pussy over your panties, your whimpers flowing out of you, he thought about how the tight lust and desire in him was unlike anything he’d ever felt before. He’d never felt this...this detached from reality. He couldn’t bring himself to give a fuck about the consequences that this night would bear. All he could concentrate was you, your body and your face, currently screwed up with pleasure as he placed a kiss to the front of your underwear.

Minho finally pulled your panties to the side, the sight of your sopping wet cunt coaxing a swear word out of him.

“This is all for me?” You let out a moan in response. He let out a breathy laugh suddenly as he ran his finger over your naked folds. “So this is why you take so long in the bathroom sometimes, huh? I’m not gonna complain anymore, if that’s the case.” You giggled a little at that, tapering at the end as you whined.

He couldn’t delay it any longer. He wanted to rip your panties off you, but the pair was too sexy to ruin. He settled for pulling them off as fast as he could, tossing them somewhere as his eyes took in your vulva smeared with your arousal.

He used two fingers to caress your labia, circling your entrance before pushing them in, sighing at the way your tight, velvety walls hugged his fingers. “You’re so warm...and so fucking wet. I can’t wait to ruin you, kitten.”

The pet name made you open your tightly shut eyes, staring at him as he smirked up at you. He kissed your abdomen, biting down as he let his fingers go deeper, curling up to find your sweet spot. You keened as his other hand fondled your breast, stroking your nipple as he moved his fingers in and out of you feverishly. It felt so good. Your eyes rolled back in your head as his thumb messed with your clit, chuckling at the slick sounds your pussy was making as he fucked you with his fingers.

“You like that? You like that, don’t you...my slutty little kitten loves it.”

You whined loudly, arms reaching out to hold on to something- anything- when his pace quickened, becoming faster and rougher as he scissored his fingers, before shoving them in and out mercilessly.

The way you arched your back as you screamed out his name was making him even harder, if that was even possible. “Come on, baby...cum. Cum, and then let me fuck that juicy pussy of yours.”

You came undone at his words, as he pressed his thumb over your clit. The electricity shooting through you heightened, your white-hot orgasm making you cry out Minho’s name, sniffling.

Minho pulled his fingers out slowly, his eyes dilating as he patted your twitching pussy. “Wow, a creamer, huh? Who would’ve thought...”

He held his wet fingers up to your mouth, slipping them past your lips. You sucked on them eagerly, your warm tongue and mouth wrapping around him, making him curse.

“Jesus Christ, Y/n, have you always been this fucking sexy?” He asked. You let out a muffled response, making him snicker. He took his finger out and you breathed in deeply.

“M-minho...you’re still fully clothed...and I’m naked.”

Minho frowned for a second. “Oh...I guess I am. Let’s fix that, shall we?” He winked, before taking off his jacket and pulling his shirt off next. He took your hand, pressing them to his abs as he leaned down, licking your lips before biting down on one, making you yelp.

He was so fucking hot. You watched as he drew back to unzip, pulling his pants and boxers down just enough for his dick to pop out. Your eyes widened. You’d known he was above average, but his cock was so...pretty, for lack of a better word to describe it. It was pink and veiny, the tip an angry red, and almost the perfect length.

He stroked his erection a few times before running the head all over your pussy lips, coating your vulva with his pre-cum. He finally aligned his dick with your entrance, the tip grazing your slit as he looked up at you.

The two of you gazed into each other’s eyes. If you went through with this...there’d be sixteen years of friendship at stake.

At this point though, you’d already gone too far. It was too late to rethink your decisions...or was it? You could see the hesitance in Minho’s eyes as well. If you’d both been sober, this would most definitely never have happened...

Minho moved a little, opening his mouth to say something. The action made his dick rub against your clit, and you accidentally whined at the friction.

Oh, fuck no. He couldn’t hold back anymore.

Minho slammed his hips into yours, bottoming out in one go thanks to how wet you were, prompting a scream from you. He pushed deeper, until his tip was hitting your cervix, a pleasurable pain shooting through you at the feeling.

“Angh~” Minho tossed his head back slightly at the heavenly feeling of your pussy wrapped around his length, tongue darting out to lick his dry lips.

He looked back down, groaning as he looked at the spot where you were connected. Slowly, he began to move, gazing at you with a lust-filled expression as he smirked. You wrapped your legs around his waist to take him deeper, arms around his neck as he began fucking into you, his cock relentlessly abusing all the places that made you want to cry in pleasure.

Suddenly, he wrapped his arms around your waist as he pulled you upright. He pulled out, making you feel empty. But then, he was picking you up bridal style, stumbling into his room and throwing you onto the bed, face down.

He put a hand under you, guiding you to the position he wanted, your ass in the air. Spreading your cheeks, he spat on your hole, watching as your pussy trembled, the bead of clear liquid disappearing between your folds.

In a few minutes, his cock was pressing into you again, his girth stretching you out oh-so deliciously. “You’re so fucking hot, taking my big cock so well.” His dick continued ramming into you as you moaned loudly, clapping your palm over your mouth.

“Oh fuck no, baby. I want the neighbors to hear just how hard I’m fucking you. My kitten’s pussy getting pounded into so fucking hard...”

He reached under you to rub your clit, making you wail as you pressed your cheek against his mattress, pushing your ass back onto him.

“God, you’re so eager.” He pulled out and flipped you over again, moving you further up the bed and pressing you against the pillows as he continued thrusting into you, the lewd sounds filling the room as his hips met yours.

“Do you feel it, kitten? Feel the way your greedy pussy sucks in my cock? You were fucking made to take my cock, weren’t you?” He leaned down to sloppily kiss you, thumb working wonders on your clit as he slowed down a little bit, going deeper. Pulling almost all the way out, he slammed back into you in one thrust, making tears spill out of your eyes as you shook, his hand tightly gripping your waist, sure to leave bruises.

He pulled away, a string of saliva connecting your mouths as you looked into each other’s eyes. Fuck, those galaxy-filled eyes...

You were nearing your high. He suddenly shoved you onto your side, taking his place behind you and spooning you before lifting your leg and hooking his arm underneath, grabbing your boob and resuming his thrusts.

You moaned as he messed with your nipple, wetly sucking on your neck as his dick incessantly hammered into you.

All the stimuli combined together was proving to be too much for you. You cried out, screaming as you felt the powerful build-up settle itself in you, taking root deep in your core. You shook, each dive of his length driving a wave of pleasure through you. Everything was heating up, sparks smoldering across your lower half as the intensity of the sensations built up.

He ghosted his lips over the shell of your ear, a husky laugh escaping him. “Are you going to cum, princess? I can feel the way you’re clenching around me...”

“I’m...gonna...fuck, Minhoooo....”

You cried incoherently, feeling your orgasm explode, raking through your body in waves as you squeezed around Minho, causing him to stutter. The orgasm knocked the breath out of you as you convulsed, repeating his name like a prayer.

“Oh my god, angel...fuck, I-” He heaved a sigh, lustily pinching your nipple as he plunged his cock as deep into you as he possibly could.

He couldn’t say more, his grip on you tightening as you felt him cum, his seed painting you white as he thrusted rabidly, riding out his orgasm with short, breathy whimpers.

The two of you panted, basking in the afterglow of your highs. Your pussy was throbbing, your head pounding.

“You’re...perfect...” he breathed out, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek before he let go of your leg.

He moved, laying you on your back once again as he spread your thighs, his eyes hungrily running over the way your pussy quivered, more and more of his cum dripping down your folds with each spasm of your spent cunt. He looked up at you, biting his lip before his fingers collected the leaking drops, shoving them back into you as he finger-fucked his cum deeper into your aching pussy.

You sighed exhaustedly, hating the way his fingers were making your insides twist, a tornado of pleasure and overstimulation wheedling long, drawn out whines from you.

Once he was satisfied, he got up, finally kicking his pants off and pulling his boxers back up. You breathlessly wheezed, worn out. A few minutes later, you felt a towel being pressed to your folds, gently cleaning you up. Soon, Minho was wrapping you up in his arms, holding you close as he pressed a kiss to your forehead. Your eyes fluttered as you felt sleep overtake your senses.

Minho watched your sleeping features, his heart clenching. He’d thought that finally having sex with you would be a way for him to abandon those perplexing feelings he’d developed...however, as the moonlight washed over your sweaty, tangled bodies...all he could think about was how he wanted to stay in this position forever. Great, this had only made things worse.

He didn’t realize he was crying until a few minutes later. The vehemence of the emotions clutching his heart was making him dizzy. There was a reason he’d kept it locked up all those years...yet here he was, holding his best friend in his arms as he cried, like a weakling. He didn’t feel like himself.

He pulled you closer, remembering all the times you pushed him away when he came too near, or just looked plain uncomfortable in his presence. You just didn’t look at him the same way you did before college. It was like a switch had been flipped. You used to look at him with a wide smile adorning you at all times, playful and goofy. Yet for the past two years your eyes were closed-off, indecipherable...always looking like you were hiding something more. Was it because of him, and the person he’d become? Yes, he’d changed a lot...but did you really hate him because of it?

He shook his head, letting your soft snores lull him to sleep.

***

When he woke up, you were gone. He’d turned around, expecting to see you next to him, but the bed was empty.

Minho’s head was pounding, the hangover leaving his mouth dry. He felt like throwing up. He could barely remember last night...but he knew what had happened. The only moment he could recall distinctly was embracing you as you fell asleep wrapped in his arms, the familiar scent of your lemon flowers clouded with the smell of sex.

He got up with a yawn, stretching before he made his way to the living room, hoping to find you there. He frowned when there was no sight of you in the kitchen, either. He was beginning to get a little concerned...until he saw a piece of paper, weighed down with a pepper shaker.

He moved it, picking the letter up and reading it, his eyes widening in disbelief.

“I’m sorry, Minho. I should probably tell you this in person, but I don’t think I could handle that.

Last night was a mistake. The two of us weren’t in the right state of mind. In fact, I’m starting to think our whole friendship was a mistake...

I’m going to be staying at my friend’s for a while. I just don’t think this...us...is a good idea anymore. We’ve changed too much. I need some time alone after yesterday...and I hope you can understand that.

-Y/n.”

He tore the paper in two, grunting as he threw it down. Fuck this. He was crying again. Anger was burning him, and he could see nothing else, vision blurred due to the tears. He wanted to kill you for making him so weak.

He never knew love could be quite this painful.

[mythicamagic]

wow! that's an amazing list. “i’ve been falling in love with you since the first day we met”

A continuation of other tumblr prompts I’ve made into a fic - here

Hopefully chapter four will be the end lolol this fic has been far longer than I intended it to be.

---

Kagome stared out at passing scenery beyond her window with a glazed look dulling her eyes. Heavy thoughts carried her attention far away from the mundane train ride. She hadn't visited Kyoto in years, and especially not for such a special reason before.

Shippo's voice had sounded so strange on the phone. Mature, but not overly deep, maintaining its playfulness. He'd invited her over for a visit right away.

A 'bing!' noise roused her enough to check her phone- which showed a picture of Natsuki posing with a spear and fresh kill.

Kagome snorted, resting her chin on her knuckles. There were a few things about Natsuki that she was surprised Sesshoumaru hadn't commented on.

Number one; her boyfriend was a demon.

And number two; he was, specifically, an inuyoukai. A mongrel. She imagined Sesshoumaru felt mighty smug to know she'd found a demon of the same species as him to date. Natsuki being of mixed breeding surely made the Daiyouki feel all the more superior.

But Kagome had never cared about such things. She'd loved Inuyasha once, too.

The short version of their 'getting together' just two months prior was that she'd located a demon bar a few years ago and had been dating youkai ever since, using the place as a means to meet them. The relief of finding the secret den of long-forgotten youkai had been unparalleled. Kagome now knew exactly how to locate and see through glamorous thanks to years of experience.

She'd found out through the process of elimination that humans just kind of...weren't enough for her. Kagome needed the youki, the rush- the bite of claws, talons or fangs.

Natsuki was one of many in a long line of potential 'forever' partners, but Kagome had long since stopped expecting marriage down the line. If they lasted, that was fine. If not, that was fine too.

She had resolved never to fall hard for someone again.

Natsuki left Tokyo a few days prior to go on a hunting trip with his pack in a remote location up in the mountains, a monthly tradition.

'Can you skip it this time?' Kagome had asked. 'I'd just...really like it if you could come to Kyoto with me?'

'But I don't know your fox friend.'

'Doesn't matter- he hasn't seen me in 500 years. I would feel so much better if you were there.'

Natsuki looked as though she'd spat in his breakfast. 'Ah, uh-' he ran an awkward hand through his light-brown hair. 'I guess?'

The hesitancy and look in his eyes- begging to be let off the hook- made Kagome force a smile and drop the subject.

She sighed, figuring they'd probably break up soon. There wasn't really anything wrong with their relationship, just a difference in values and priorities.

It seemed to be the norm. No huge fight. No big dramatic breakup. Usually she even stayed friends with her exes.

Sesshoumaru was the outlier in all things.

She made certain not to tell the Daiyoukai of her impending singleness. If he was irritatingly optimistic now- Kagome imagined he'd be a nightmare to shake off if she were available.

But he'd stop if I outright told him to never speak to me again.

Her lips thinned, stomach turning at the mere thought.

For the rest of the journey, she resolved not to think about him. And failed miserably.

----

Shippo had greeted her at the door with an enormous hug the second she'd arrived at his hilltop home. Brilliant red hair had grown longer, swept back into a ponytail. Since his house perched a little further out from most of the houses, he wore no glamour. The pointed ears and foxtails- five of them- Kagome counted, were on full display.

Tears pricked her eyes, and she hugged him back fiercely.

His wife was pleasant, though a little eccentric for a racoon youkai. She'd made a 'welcome' banner and everything for Kagome's arrival.

Three young kits with dark circle markings around their eyes raced around the house- which had crayon drawings sprawled all over the walls at waist-height. Shippo and his wife seemed to have given up on house maintenance, but they were a happy family.

Blue eyes softened as Kagome sat with him in the relative privacy of his art studio. She was so pleased he'd found happiness. As they talked, she bent down- reaching into her bag for her phone to show him some pictures of her workplace- only for it to tip over.

A small bottle of pills rolled out, stopping by his foot.

Kagome paled. She glanced away from his questioning look as he handed them back to her. "Reiki suppression pills?" he asked.

"How'd you know?"

"I've got friends in Tokyo. You're not the only priestess who secretly dates demons," he shrugged, pinning her with a calculating look. "But, it's kind of a shame you feel the need to take them."

Kagome forced a smile, tucking them away, "yeah well- it's because I'm so big and strong," she joked. "I haven't met a demon in Tokyo who could withstand my aura if I really let it out. Taking these is easier. Gives demons the 'flavour' of dating a miko without actually getting burned. It just thins my powers a little."

Shippo nodded in acceptance and swiftly changed topics since it made her uncomfortable. He chattered on about his life, detailing the 500 year gap between when they'd seen each other last. Apparently, after Miroku and Sango had passed, he'd taken to spending more time with Sesshoumaru. When Inuyasha had died, he'd started living with the Daiyoukai permanently.

"You...did?"

He nodded, hands wrapped around his steaming mug of tea. A handmade bracelet clasped around his wrist, and the mug was half-melted, made from clay. Clearly they'd both been crafted by three well-meaning kids. "I guess we were gonna talk about him eventually," he smirked. "I promise not to be biased, okay? Sure, he saved my ass, but you're still my favourite."

Warmth flooded her heart, and Kagome giggled a little despite herself. "You're talking like we're your divorced parents or something," she mused, sobering. Taking a long breath, she stared at her own misshapen mug. "What happened?" she asked quietly. "Why didn't he create a pure-blooded heir?"

Shippo sighed, sweeping a hand through voluminous red hair. "He chased after you pretty much a second after you left through the well. Only he couldn't get through."

Her chest tightened, body stiffening.

"He's told me before though...that regretting what happened wouldn't have been enough, and maybe it was better he didn't stop you. He still felt the same at the time, deep down; that only a pure-blooded heir should take over the Western Lands to ensure he was survived by a long-living heir. He was gonna do it," Shippo muttered. "He was prepared to lay with an inuyoukai to produce an heir, but when the time came he just...couldn't. It frustrated him for a long time."

Kagome took a sip of her lukewarm tea, lips thinning. "He could've taken a mate. It didn't have to be some random woman."

"Heh, yeah but his inuyoukai instincts had already chosen a mate," Shippo winked at her. "And no matter how much he tried to force logic onto himself, his instincts refused to budge. You weren't dead, so in his mind, he couldn't move on. He's remained your captive all this time."

Her eyes widened, swallowing. "That sounds terrible!" she burst, frowning. "What the hell...I'd resent that. Why doesn't he hate me?"

"Hard to explain but...he could have moved on, Kagome," the kit sighed. "If he really wanted to. He's the one who lacked the desire to change how he felt about you. So, despite some relationships, Sesshoumaru has pretty much maintained his bachelor lifestyle."

Kagome stood from her seat, setting down her tea and distractedly looking at Shippo's art pieces, picking up a sketchbook and flipping through it.

Sharp green eyes searched her guarded features. "You're still in love with him, right?"

"Some habits are hard to kick," she said softly, pausing on one sketch. Her vision grew blurry.

Shippo rose and swept the shuddering miko into a hug before she could drop the sketch of Sango and Miroku. He held her for a long time, and they moved on to talking about their friends. About all the things they'd done and the happiness they'd shared.

"M-maybe I...left too quickly," Kagome mumbled, wiping at her wet cheeks.

"Nah, don't get that thought stuck in your head," Shippo rested a hand on her head, gently ruffling the dark strands. "You wanted distance between you and Sesshoumaru. It's not your fault the well shut."

"Why did..." swallowing thickly, she looked up at him, oddly feeling like a child in comparison to his steady, easy-going presence. Like nothing in the world could shock or frighten the little kit anymore. "It took him 6 years to come talk to me, why is that?"

Shippo's smile turned slightly sad. "He wouldn't want me to tell you. In fact, he'd kill me for giving you this-" Shippo reached into his pocket and took out a vial.

Kagome understood what it was almost immediately, accepting the glamour with a perplexed look.

He then scribbled down the name of a random park in Tokyo she hadn't visited before, handing it over with a smirk. "Put that glamour on and visit this park on either Tuesday or Thursday, weather permitting. You'll find him near the duck pond."

She arched a brow, eyeing the vial. "He'll recognise me, even with a glamour on."

"Nah, that's my own creation- and I'm pretty darn brilliant at magic now!" he puffed out his chest, tilting his chin up in a very Sesshoumaru-like manner. Shippo then smiled warmly, taking the sketchbook and tearing out a page. "He's not being honest with you, but it's not outta nefarious purposes. You'll see," he reassured her. "He's changed. Even if he's still an asshole."

Kagome accepted the page, freezing. Her fingers stiffened, emotion clogging her throat at all the implications that came with the picture. She couldn't help but cry again in the safety of Shippo's arms- promptly bursting into tears while on the train ride home too.

Shippo's sketch remained clutched in her hands.

The weight of so much wasted time rested upon her heavily, making the woman bend low in her seat, ignoring the stares of other passengers and letting out several years of loneliness and disappointment. How her skin had ached and burned up with a fever of remembrance- straining for a demon lord to take her wrists and kiss her palms like he once had.

---

Overcast skies blocked out the sunshine that Tuesday, so she wondered if he'd show. The glamour had made her look like a 40-year old, a few grey streaks in her magically short hair. Brown eyes stared back at her instead of blue. She smelled like lavender and home cooking. Kagome sat upon a bench and pretended to read beside the duck pond. An available bench sat further away, nearer to the empty play park.

It was there that a dark-haired man eventually sat, five children having followed him. A lanky teen took a seat next to him, his hair short and grey- eyes milky white with blindness. Kagome squinted from behind her book, sensing he was a snake youkai. Two young hanyous of differing species immediately ran to the play park, squealing. One had concealed horns, the other hiding their leopard spots behind a glamour.

A human girl around the age of 11 carried a toddler to the edge of the duck pond, talking quietly with him and pointing to the ducks.

Kagome held back the hot sting of tears, forcing her gaze to the book in her hands and robotically turning a page.

"Shinto needs to get out of his room," the snake youkai was muttering sourly.

"There is little I can do. Did you wish for me to carry him kicking and screaming to the park with us?" Sesshoumaru snorted, elbows bent to rest on his knees.

Kagome glanced at him furtively from the corner of her eye.

Gone was the easy confidence he'd presented to her during their encounters- the impeccable dress-sense and untouchable air of a bachelor. He looked like a mess. Or rather, a single parent struggling to juggle too much at once. He wore a jacket that had seen better days, hair dishevelled and slight lines under his eyes.

"Maybe that would've been better," his adopted child was muttering, soon sighing and glancing to the side as Sesshoumaru toyed with his phone. "Do you even have her number?"

Sesshoumaru arched a brow, feigning ignorance. "Hm?"

"You know who I am referring to. Just ask for it from Uncle Shippo."

Dark lashes lowered, followed by a rich, silky chuckle that made Kagome's skin warm. "Such underhanded methods, Hiroji," he teased, "no wonder you're not popular with women."

Hazy eyes gazed in his general direction flatly, huffing. "Please refrain from trying to dodge the question. Have you actually asked this 'Kagome' woman out yet?"

"I invited her to coffee."

"Such a cheap date, Papa!" the human girl by the duck pond smiled, carrying her brother back to them. "Couldn't you have invited her ice-skating, or to a fancy restaurant?"

"Or to the park!" one of the Hanyous yelled from the swings.

Sesshoumaru cut his eyes to grey skies fondly, accepting the toddler from his daughter. "The location does not matter. Miss Higurashi is not easily swayed," he uttered, large hands toying with little boots. The toddler giggled, kicking his legs. "Initially, I wished to bury her with gifts, but she would merely see that as an attempt to 'buy' her. No, I sense only a display of humility and regret will soften her opinion of me, however that seems quite impossible."

"Hm? Why's that?" his daughter asked.

"Because I do not wish to use you all as an example of my having 'changed.' It would feel as though you are mere tools for my redemption," brown eyes slid away. "My mindset altered gradually over the centuries. No large thing triggered it. I know of no other way to prove myself other than introducing her to you."

Kagome could tell by the twitching of his fingers and the way he kept brushing them over his jaw absentmindedly that he was itching for a drag of his pipe. She'd wondered if he still occasionally smoked. He must've decided not to around his children.

"Sounds like heavy stuff," the girl hummed, patting his shoulder in consolation. "Can't you just say-" she cleared her throat, voice deepening into a poor imitation of Sesshoumaru's- "Miko, I've been falling in love with you since the first day we met. Fall into my arms~"

Deep brown eyes flattened, and he playfully shoved a hand into her face. "Things are not so easily fixed, Akiko."

"I see. Well, don't worry! If it doesn't work out, we can all go ice-skating instead!"

Sesshoumaru tsked, sinking back into his seat and allowing the toddler to snuggle up on his chest. "How dull. I'd much prefer to go on a date with a beautiful woman than babysit you brats."

Akiko only giggled and whined good-naturedly, calling him a 'meanie' before running off to join the Hanyous on the swings.

Left in silence, the Daiyoukai's brows knitted together, thoughts clearly far away.

Mild concern softened Hiroji's boyish features. "You should try talking to her again," he said quietly, so faintly Kagome could barely hear it.

"Hn, and why is that?"

Shifting, the snake demon glanced sightlessly in Kagome's direction- causing her blood to freeze in her veins. "I suspect she may be more receptive to speaking with you now, that is all. Call it a hunch."

Stiff shoulders slowly relaxed upon realising he wasn't going to expose her. After a few minutes, Kagome rose from her spot and slipped away from the park.

In the comfort of her own apartment, Kagome gazed at the sketch Shippo had given her; Sesshoumaru sleeping without a glamour obscuring his exotic features. Resting on mokomoko, his knees, and the crook of his arm were children, different from the ones at the park, but just as mixed in species.

It implied he'd been adopting them for centuries. What had started with Rin all those years ago- the accidental adoption of his first child, had become a long-enduring habit. And it also gave Kagome the stupid, insidious idea that maybe he wanted hanyou children now. Maybe he wanted them with her.

And that was too dangerous a thought to linger on if she was incorrect.

[suituuup]

pieces - chapter six

Five years ago, Chloe dropped off the face of the Earth. Beca didn’t expect to see her again dancing in a strip club, out of all places.

rated: E (drug use and emotional abuse in early chapters)

ao3 link

*

Chloe didn’t register any of it. Her ears were buzzing with adrenaline and her body felt like it wasn’t even her own anymore, but her legs worked on auto-pilot as she followed Beca to the car. 

As Jesse drove away from the club and Chloe somewhat calmed down, the situation slowly dawned onto her, sending her thoughts into a spiral. 

She had just fled from Marco. She probably didn’t have a job anymore. She was homeless. 

But before she could full-on panic, a gloved hand slid inside of hers, grounding her some. Her eyes flickered up and met Beca’s. “You’re okay. We’re heading to my apartment, you’ll stay in my guest bedroom.” 

All Chloe could muster was a weak nod. All of this felt surreal.

They arrived at Beca’s place less than ten minutes later, Jesse taking a left and driving into an underground parking lot. Once the car was parked, Chloe stepped out, standing back while Beca told Jesse to drive himself home and that she would come to pick up her car tomorrow. 

“I’m up on the twelfth floor,” Beca said as she hit the elevator button. 

“Is your hand okay?” Chloe asked, only remembering now that Beca punched Marco. 

Beca made a fist then splayed out her fingers, wincing a bit. “It’s not broken at least. I’ll be fine.” 

They stepped inside the elevator, Chloe’s eyes remaining fastened to the carpet as it rode up to the right floor. She followed Beca down the hall and stood back while she unlocked her door. Chloe stepped inside after her, her eyes scanning the huge open-plan space with floor to ceiling windows. 

She remained by the entrance while Beca went to get something from the kitchen, reappearing with something wrapped in a kitchen towel. “For your cheek.” 

Chloe nodded, taking it and pressing it to her cheekbone. 

“The bedroom is right there down the hall,” Beca directed, motioning for Chloe to follow her. She hooked a right and hit the lights, revealing a soberly decorated large room with a queen-sized bed. “I’ll go get you some clothes to sleep in.” 

Chloe nodded, stepping further inside the room and lowering herself on the edge of the mattress. She realized she was shaking slightly, but she couldn’t tell if it was from leftover adrenaline or her body starting to crave a hit. 

“Here,” Beca said as she rounded the corner, setting a pair of folded sweatpants, a simple t-shirt, and her Barden hoodie down on the comforter. “The bathroom is right across the hall, I put some clean towels on the counter if you want to take a shower, and a toothbrush. I have my own bathroom so feel free to use this one whenever you want. Help yourself to anything, the kitchen cupboards are stocked up with plenty of snacks and the fridge with sodas.” 

“Okay,” Chloe whispered, briefly meeting Beca’s eyes. “Thank you.” 

“You don’t need to thank me,” Beca assured her softly, casting her a small smile. “I’m heading to bed. I’ll see you in the morning?” 

Once again, Chloe nodded. She watched Beca step out of the room and stared blankly at the wall in front of her for a while until she started feeling the physical toll of the night’s events creep up on her. She stood up, stepping out of her stripper heels and unzipping her dress. A shower would wait until morning. After changing into the spare clothes Beca had lent her, Chloe swung by the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her heavy make-up off. 

She crawled into bed a few minutes later, willing her body and mind to relax enough that she would find some sleep. The next hour was spent tossing and turning, trying to silence her craving for cocaine and her visceral need to bolt. 

But she didn’t have anywhere safe to go, or any money to buy anything. 

Chloe slipped out of bed and crossed the hall to the bathroom, opening the faucet and cupping her hands under it to gather some water to splash her face with. 

“Snap out of it,” she muttered to herself as she stared at her own reflection in the mirror, gripping the edges of the counter with both hands. 

Dark circles were permanently etched under her eyes from sleep deprivation thanks to the cocaine allowing her to go days without resting. Her cheeks were hollowed out from her weight loss and her skin a ghostly pale. She looked nearly ten years older than her actual age. 

Familiar voices wormed their way into her mind, chanting, whispering, cackling devilishly. 

Worthless. Ugly. Dumb.

A sob echoed against the bathroom walls as Chloe let go of the counter to hold her head between her hands, fingers pulling on her hair. 

“Pull yourself together,” she mumbled next as her mind warred with those parasites having made a home in her subconscious. “They’re lying.” 

Chloe knew trying to sleep was a lost battle, so she padded to the living room. If she couldn’t have cocaine, alcohol was the next best thing. Something strong, preferably, something that could muffle all those insecurities.

It took her less than two minutes to find Beca’s liquor cabinet, and she fished out a bottle of whiskey, plucking a tumbler from the cupboard above the sink. She reached for the remote and turned on the TV at a low volume so she could focus on something else than her own thoughts, settling for CNN as she poured herself a third of the glass and knocked it back. 

Familiar, comforting warmth filled her belly and spread to her limbs and chest as Chloe poured herself another, nursing this one slowly as she curled up on Beca’s couch. It took four drinks for exhaustion to gain the upper hand on Chloe’s anxiety, and she fell asleep on the couch, the near-empty bottle sitting on the coffee table. 

She woke up sometime later to someone shaking her shoulder. The light was bright behind her closed lids, and Chloe scrunched up her nose, curling up tighter on herself. 

“Chloe, wake up.” 

That voice didn’t belong to Marco. The realization drew Chloe’s mind from its foggy state and she opened her eyes to find Beca sitting in front of her. Slightly disoriented, Chloe slowly sat up. She caught sight of the bottle and guilt coupled with shame surged her insides. “I’ll--I’ll replace that.” 

Beca frowned. “What? No, that’s-- you don’t need to do that.” 

Chloe’s shoulders slumped. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t-- I was craving something, and…” she trailed off, inhaling sharply as she felt her chest constrict and tears burn her eyes. “I think-- I think I need help.” 

It was odd, that feeling of instant relief as soon as she uttered the words. As though a huge weight she didn’t know was there just lifted from her chest. 

“Okay.” Beca reached out to set her hand on Chloe’s knee. Her expression was soft, her eyes warm, and Chloe immediately felt comforted. “We’ll get you help. I was on the phone with a rehab upstate earlier, they have a spot on Monday.” 

Monday. As in three days from now. 

“I can’t-- I don’t have fifty grand, Beca, and there’s--there’s--” She cut herself off, shaking her head as emotions rose to her throat and made her voice waver. She needed to work. She needed to provide for her dad. “I have to work.” Upon catching Beca’s confused look, Chloe sucked in another deep breath. “My--my dad is sick. He has late-onset MS and they can’t afford treatment on their own.” 

Realization dawned on Beca’s features as she nodded slowly, empathy swirling in her gaze. “How much money is the treatment?” 

“I give them two thousand dollars a month to cover what’s left after insurance.” 

“Do you know their bank account information?” Beca asked as she grabbed her phone, swiping her thumb over the screen to unlock it. “I’ll set up an automatic transfer each first of the month.” 

Chloe’s mouth slowly opened in shock. “What?” She croaked out, her bottom lip trembling. “I can’t ask you to pay for it.” 

“You didn’t,” Beca said softly, glancing up. “I’m offering. And I’m covering the rehab cost as well.” 

Chloe blinked twice in slow succession. “I don’t-- I don’t--” she started to object, but reason quickly gained the upper hand. She couldn’t afford any of those things, and she couldn’t afford to stay like this, either. She was legitimately afraid she might die if she continued down that path. “I don’t know what to say except thank you, but that doesn’t seem like enough. I’ll pay you back though. Every cent of it.” 

“I don’t want you to worry about that,” Beca murmured, squeezing her knee gently as she gae Chloe a tight-lipped smile. “The best way you can thank me is by focusing on getting better.” 

A few tears rolled down Chloe’s cheeks, and she was at a loss for words for a little while as her heart swelled in her chest. 

She hadn’t felt that in a long time. 

“So um, next Monday?” She asked then, swiping her thumbs over her cheeks. 

“Yeah. It’s an hour drive away, I took my Monday morning off to drive you. The program is thirty days,” Beca explained. “The nurse I had on the phone told me that detoxing yourself on your own before that could be dangerous and advised against it. I wasn’t sure… what type of drug you’re taking, but she said it didn’t matter. You could go through a cold turkey kind of thing and while I’m not exactly comfortable with you continuing to use until then, it’s what’s best, according to her.” 

Chloe sniffled. “I don’t have any with me. Some of my stash is at the club and the rest is at Marco’s place.” 

“Right, um… do you know when he isn’t there? You probably need to get some stuff, right?” 

“He’s at the club most nights. Usually gets there from 9 pm, so we could go after?”

“I’ll text Luke and Jesse to come with us for reinforcements in case he’s there. I kneed the guy in the balls, he must be pretty pissed.” Beca cleared her throat, eyeing Chloe. “Will you be okay until tonight? You know, without taking anything?” 

Chloe nodded. “I’ll manage. I just need distractions or else I get really agitated.” 

“Okay. I can definitely help with that,” Beca said, taking her hand back. “I was gonna make breakfast, are you hungry?” 

“No, not really. I could drink a coffee, though? After I shower.” 

Beca smiled and pushed to her feet. “You got it. Take your time.” 

Trusting other people had been a recurring issue for Chloe in the past few years, but she willed herself not to start doubting Beca’s intentions. After her shower, Chloe headed back to the main room, her step faltering upon walking past an open door. She tentatively peered inside, quickly realizing this was Beca’s office. Her eyes popped wider at the sight of the five gramophones sitting on a shelf, among framed gold and platinum records. 

She stepped further inside to take a closer look, her heart making a painful lurch as her gaze fell on a picture of the Bellas after their first ICCA win. Chloe reached out to pluck the frame off the surface, a wave of nostalgia sweeping over her as she thought back to that day. 

“You okay?” 

Chloe jumped a little, glancing over her shoulder as she hastily but carefully placed the frame back where it had been. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to… I’m sorry.” 

“It’s fine, Chlo,” Beca assured her softly. She nodded towards the leather couch in the corner. “Have a seat, I’ll bring you your coffee.” 

Chloe nodded and crossed the room, admiring the hundreds of records neatly tucked in a built-in library on the opposite wall. 

“You can pick something to listen to, if you want,” Beca told her when she returned with two cups, twin curls of steam rising from them. She set Chloe’s on the small table in front of the couch and curled up on one end while Chloe picked a record. She ended up going for Rumours, one of her all-time favorite albums, and took it out, setting it on the record player. 

The opening chords of Dreams filled the room as she lowered the stylus on the edge, and she padded to the couch, cradling her mug between her palms. 

“Fleetwood Mac. Always been one of your favorite,” Beca observed with a soft expression as she lifted her mug to take a sip. “How are you feeling?” 

“I’m okay.” Chloe knew the first telltale signs of craving would hit her sometime around midday, but she would hang in there. “You made it, huh? To the top?” 

Beca broke eye-contact, her cheeks reddening. “I was lucky to come across amazing people throughout my career.” 

Chloe knew Beca’s sheer amount of raw talent was the root of her success, but Beca still seemed to be her humble self. “Do you speak to Aubrey often?” 

“Once in a while. More so in the past two weeks as we tried to figure out a way to help you. Otherwise, we still have the group chat, and we’re planning a reunion this summer.” 

“Oh,” Chloe let out upon finding out the girls still hung out together. Her heart ached in her chest over everything she had missed, but she only had herself to blame for that one.

“And you’ll be there,” Beca added with a soft smile. “With us.” 

Chloe swallowed the lump forming in her throat; the road to recovery was bound to be a long and tumultuous journey, but maybe having a goal in sight was what she needed to stay on track during low moments. 

“The nurse said cellphones wouldn’t be allowed for the first two weeks, but I’ll give you Aubrey’s number for the next two, okay? She would love to hear from you.” 

Chloe nodded, her lips curling in a hint of a smile. “Yeah, okay.”

She spent the rest of the afternoon hauled up in Beca’s office (she weirdly felt at ease there), curled up on the couch and listening to soothing records as her body and mind battled against an array of negative feelings and sensations. 

Around 10 pm, she and Beca drove to Marco’s place accompanied by Luke and Jesse. Chloe kept a key under the mat for those nights she was so drunk or high she usually forgot them at the club and was grateful to find it there. 

“I’ll be quick,” she told Beca, heading into the bedroom to get a duffle bag from the bottom of the dresser and throwing a bunch of comfy clothes into it. 

She knew that even if Marco did come home nothing would happen with Luke and Jesse being there, but that didn’t stop sweat from trickling down her back as she grabbed her essentials as quickly as she could. 

“Okay. I’ve got everything,” she said as she met them by the door about five minutes later, slightly out of breath. Her anxiety was through the roof, not lessening even when they got back into the car, but she tried not to let it show. 

It was only when she was able to take a hit back at Beca’s apartment that Chloe was able to calm herself down. 

“Are you alright?” Beca asked a while later when Chloe eventually emerged. 

She sat on the living-room couch, her laptop balanced on her thighs. 

Chloe nodded, tugging on her sleeves as she shuffled to sit on the end of it. She didn’t take as much as she used to, not seeking that euphoric state she needed while she was at work. Just enough to deal with the darkness swirling inside her. “Thank you.” 

“Are you hungry? I was thinking of ordering pizza, with pineapple on one half for you weirdo.” 

Chloe snickered. “Yeah, I could eat a little.” 

Monday came before Chloe realized. She packed a bag and slid in beside Beca, staring out the window most of the drive as they headed upstate. Nerves sprouted in her belly as Beca parked in front of the fancy-looking facility, and Chloe puffed out a breath. 

Beca cast her a reassuring smile. “I’ll go check in with you.” 

Nodding, Chloe stepped out and grabbed her bag from the trunk, slinging it over her shoulder. They walked through the glass sliding doors and headed towards the desk, where a friendly-looking man greeted them. 

“Hi, my name is Chloe Beale, I’m here, um, to start rehab.” 

She felt Beca’s fingers gently wrap around hers as the man checked his computer, and let her tense shoulders sag. 

“Right this way, I’ll show you to your room, Ms. Beale. Your friend can come, too.” 

“Thank you.” 

She didn’t let go of Beca’s hand as they followed the employee up some stairs and down the hall. The room was bright and spacious, with a queen-sized bed and an amazing view of the forest behind the building. Chloe set her bag down on the mattress and looked around as the man went through basic rules, giving him her phone when requested. Chloe would be allowed to call someone during bad days with the phone downstairs, though.

He left shortly after, and Chloe inhaled sharply as she turned towards Beca. “I guess I’ll write you a letter?” She asked, her voice wavering slightly. 

“I’d love that,” Beca murmured. “You’re going to nail this, Chlo. I’m just a phone call away if you need to talk, alright?” 

Chloe nodded. “Yeah.” She stepped up to Beca and pulled her into a hug, closing her eyes as she relished in their closeness. “I’ll see you in a month.” 

Beca backed away, smiling. Her eyes shone with unshed tears. “I’m so proud of you for doing this,” she whispered, squeezing Chloe’s hand as she took a step back. “See you in a month.” 

Chloe fought to hold onto her emotions until the door shut behind Beca, breaking down as soon as silence surrounded her. 

For the first time in six years, she was on her own, and the month ahead might be her hardest challenge, yet.

[nat-20s]

Fluff prompt #3?

"Writing a love letter but keeping it to themselves"

Uhh u didn't specify a pairing so this doesn't have a pairing! Please enjoy a letter written to no one

~*~

There's many things that I could write to you, and all of them are under the assumption that you will, someday, not only exist, but be a part of my life. That's the biggest assumption I'm willing to make, and due to the general enormity of that assumption, I will endeavour not to make any other, smaller, assumptions.

I will not write about the color of your eyes. I am sure that I will find the color breath-taking, my new favorite, because they will be your eyes. But I do not want to espouse the warmth of your brown eyes, only for them to be hazel, or grey, or blue. I do believe, not assume, there is a distinction, that they will have a twinkle to them. They will shine, hopefully because of the words I say to you. Hopefully the skin around them will crinkle when I tell you I love you, and have no fear, I will tell you often and fervently. If there will be nothing else that I can give you, I can give you that confession of emotion as easy as anything. With a certain level of trust, confessions are easy statements of fact.

You'll likely get crows feet, if my "I love you"s effect you the same way your "I love you"s will affect me. They don't even have to be spoken out loud. I'm rather adept at reading the love in actions, in cups of tea or long distance phone calls or even something as simple as a "this made me think of you".

Do not worry, love. Crow's feet will look stunning on you. That's not an assumption, that's something I simply know, no need to see into the future. If you would like, I will place the gentlest of kisses there, and the lines around your eyes will signify such grand affection as to have made a permanent home on your features.

I will not write about the contours of your face. I don't know if your face makes a heart or a circle or square. I don't know the shape of it in any way, and I make no presumptions on it. I suppose, I hope, that when you are with me, it has some give to it. I want your cheeks to never be gaunt, nor your form skeletal. I want you to eat well, to sleep as needed, or even better, as wanted. I want you to have no shame in any of your qualities. It's okay if you do, we'll work on it together. We'll figure it out.

I will not write anything about your curves or planes or whatever else is used to describe the totality of bodies. I do not know if yours will be hard or soft. I do not know if it will jut out in places or cave in other. I don't know how mobile it will be, how structured it will be. I do not know if it will have ten fingers or ten toes or two arms or two legs. I do not know if it will be sick or if it will be healthy, or if the status of it will change as our time together goes on. I hope, in fact, that it will change while I know you. I hope that it will age. I hope, at the very least, that you may change your hairstyle, or get a tattoo, or maybe even gain a new prosthetic. I hope that our time together will not be so short as for your body to remain static. If it is to be so, then know that I am grateful for every moment, even if that moment is singular.

I do know that your body will be good. Your body will be good, even if it is bad, even if it betrays you, because, for some time, it was your body, and the fact that it was yours, that it housed you, makes it fundamentally good.

I make no assumptions about when I will meet you. I make no assumptions about how I will meet you. If I have already met you, I'm sorry that I have not noticed yet, not realized the depths of my own feelings, or perhaps the depths of yours. I've been told I am not particularly adept at picking up on the obvious, and if what we have has developed subtlety, I'm sure that you know me well enough to realize that I might have missed it by a mile. If this is the case, then I want to thank you for your infinite patience. I am not sure if I deserve it, but I am not sure if deserving really matters, and, hey, I am still trying not to make any assumptions.

If we have not met yet, then I hope you will appreciate my own patience. If it is one, ten, forty years from now, I look forward to our meeting. If our first meeting is a mess, then I am looking forward to whatever meeting it is that we get to actually know each other, and from that foundation of knowledge, build a love. I think the action of making that structure will be more rewarding than a final product. Then again, in this metaphor, I don't think there will be a final product, it will be a continuous evolution, having constant additions and modifications. Maybe when one of us dies, that movement will cease. Maybe it will require both of us to die, because love for someone doesn't end when they die. Love for someone can only end when all those that love them do. Maybe it will take our children's deaths, or our children's children's deaths, to reach a stopping point.

I don't know if we will have children. I don't know if we raised those children together, or if the children in our lives only meet after we do, or if "our" children aren't ours at all, but part of our greater community, and we care for them as if they were our own. I would like us to have some positive involvement in the lives of the next generation, but I cannot say what shape that involvement may take.

All this to say, I love you. I love writing to you, because my love for you, as it stands, is a love for the future. It is a love of hope. It is a love of life. It is a love of the infinite possibilities of love. It is a love of the someday.

Perhaps, most of all, it is a love of survival.

There are times that I have to write to you. I have to write to you, and I have to make the assumption that someone might eventually read this, and know it is for them. Though, if I do meet you, I won't give you this letter. No, I will give you one where I talk about how much I love the specific color of your eyes, the exact shape of your face, the intricate details of your body. I will give you a letter that loves you as a person, rather than as a concept. I wish I could do so now, but I currently only have the concept to go off of. When it is dark, these letters don't provide a light, as much as they provide the stubborn belief that I will find a light eventually. I look forward to being able to see again.

I am so, so glad to love you.

I am so, so glad that you love me.

Thank you.

[helenazbmrskai]

Stygian; Forbidding Blackness

Pairing – [Hitman! Hoseok x Reader]

Genre – [Hitman AU, Friends To Lovers, Romance, Organised Crime, Thriller, Gore, Murder, Action, Angst, fluff]

Summary – [The road is paved with the blood of the dead searching for your missing sister’s ghost. Your only anchor is your best friend Hoseok who would do anything for you. He’s ready to follow you to the end of the world and back if it means that you remain by his side forever. After all. This is what best friends are for. (This couple is about to take the saying partners in crime to a whole ’nother level.]

Warnings – [Semi-graphic gore, blood, premeditated murder, injuries, illegal stuff, body trafficking, abduction, dept, gun use, mistreatment, mention of torture, swearing]

Word Count – [9,2k]

Masterlist – Be part of my permanent taglist to get notified when I upload a new fic or send in an ask.

”Finished?” Pressing your hand against your best friend’s hoody covered back, his stiff posture simply relaxes under the gentle touch muscles moving under your palm as you draw circles with your index, sweat gathered around his spine soaking the material of his upper garments, your voice comes out as a whisper near his ear, the abandoned warehouse is dead silent like the body that sits limply on a makeshift house display chair that Hoseok fetched out from one of these boxes that litter the place. No one seems to visit this place anymore as the boxes and other tools are covered in a thick layer of dust.

”Let me clean up and we can leave. I know you hate these dusty shitholes, I’ll make this quick.” His smile almost reaches his eyes as he turns on his heel to face you, your hand automatically drops, cute dimples showing on both sides to convey his gratitude when you pull a pristine cloth out of your front pocket and he silently cleans his hands and either side of his cheek, getting rid of the dried blood that blemishes his handsome features, eyes no longer wild and void of any emotion as he smiles facing away from the victim, he easily switches roles, no longer a cold-blooded killer but he presents himself as your best friend. Your friendship always comes first, even though work is a close second on the short list that’s still lingeringly important to him. Through thick and thin, you two always, have each other’s backs.

”Need a helping hand?” You pucker your lips in disgust as the metallic smell hits your nose when Hoseok steps aside no longer towering over the view the shift in the motion lets the smell travel around freely, you had the chance to inspect his professional work, the dark reddish liquid that almost resembles a black colouration on the edges that flowed out from the man’s veins and arteries pools around his ankles creating a morbid-like pond under the chair the man’s head hangs low and limbs pale white from the blood loss his chest no longer sucks in a ragged breath, no pleading falls from his quivering lips. He’s dead.

”Thanks, honey,” Hoseok beams accepting your help gracefully, so in sharp contrast with the way the following words slip from his parted mouth so easily. ”How about we sandwich this bad boy into that carpet over there and dump him into the river? There’s your favourite diner near, no?” He thinks aloud cupping his jaw with a hand, voice sounding airy and nonchalant as if you’re discussing the gloomy weather outside over coffee and not planning how to get rid of a dead body. One might think he’s a total psycho that he has gone completely nuts but you know better than to call him names like that, you’re his best friend, what that makes you? Are you crazy too? There’s no point thinking about that now, that’s the conclusion you always come up with, and it’s fine at least you can leave it at that.

Shaking your head in amusement, you follow Hoseok as he drags the huge carpet and you help him roll it down and up as soon as he placed the man in the centre. The added weight with the body inside must be heavy but your friend drapes it over his shoulder like it’s not a big deal motioning for you politely to exit before him, holding the door open for you with his free hand that doesn’t carry a heavyweight.

Your favourite diner comes into view as you and Hoseok reach the outskirts of the city but you two drive further, your friend behind the wheel skillfully operates the car to take a left turn humming along with the tune that plays on the radio while you take in your surroundings, getting a clear sight of the previously discussed river as the Namhan river looks as peaceful as ever when Hoseok drives to a secluded area parking the car nearby the shores and the black SUV comes to a halt, jogging all the way to his trunk to pick up the package, eager to dispose of the evidence, slamming his door shut before you even have the chance to unbuckle your seatbelt.

It’s your last day in Yeoju, even if you need to have a little detour to Incheon before you can drive back to Seoul you can already taste the bulgogi from the corner restaurant that you frequent because it’s near your apartment and the prices are cheap but the food in exchange is still decent in taste while you can save some money in your shiny mermaid tail pattern decorated wallet that Hoseok gifted to you when you reached your 21st birthday. It was a silly gift but the childish item grew on you and you’re not sure if you can continue to dislike it as much as you claimed when he gave it to you.

”Good?” He nods in your direction while you make a last-minute check up on the body to be sure not a single clue can be traced back to the two of you, satisfied with the clean outlook you step back, watching as the body sinks to the bottom of the river, for now, the distinctive scent of the pharmaceutical ethanol gets washed away by the calm waves. The river will wash away any mess-ups and by the time the police discovers the man’s whereabouts as the gasses will force the body to emerge to the surface after a few days, it’ll be decomposed to a state that even the gender will be unrecognisable without a DNA test.

”Good.” You agree, accepting Hoseok’s hand as he helps you manoeuvre between the larger rocks placing a hand under your elbow to stabilize your footing only letting go when you get back to the car, still no one in sight.

”Let’s eat! I’m starving.” He bounces on his seat as he backs up the car, getting back to the main road with practised ease while you keep looking at the scenery watching as the waves wash against the rocks.

***

”What’s up honey, you’re awfully quiet today.” Shrugging you fix your gaze on your french fries seeing in your peripheral when Hoseok licks his fingers free of his big cheese burger’s sauce that leeks every time he takes a bite and snatches your drink from your side sipping and nibbling on the straw as his drink is long ago consumed, you ordered a big coke because you’re well acquainted with your best friend’s every quirks and personality trait. There’s no one else in the whole world that knows more about Hoseok than you. This is not the first time he stole your drink or for that matter your cheeseburger; when he realised he would rather have yours so you got stuck with a chicken burger instead.

”Just thinking.” You answer, at last, but it hardly offers any consolation to him, picking on your food wearing a neutral expression, you suddenly don’t feel hungry anymore it feels like a cold hand is wrapped around your throat when you try to swallow anything, the food tastes bland in your mouth.

It’s your favourite eat out place so Hoseok is concerned, watching your sour expression looking like someone is forcing you to swallow your food.

”We’re going to find and bring your sister back in one piece. I promise.” The boy in front of you scoots to the edge of the worn-out seats so he can clasp your hand enveloping your tiny ones reassuringly, eyes turning soft while he observes the storm that brews behind your eyes, you’re scared and he sees right through you even if you got quite good at masking your emotions, knowing you so well, he has an idea what’s plaguing your mind even so you don’t speak and tell him your thoughts.

”I appreciate it, but you shouldn’t promise something that’s not under your control Hobi. We don’t know if she’s alive, to begin with.” Gnawing on your lip you pull away shoving a mouthful of fries in your wet cavern crushing them between your teeth, licking the salt from your lips, the food is as salty as your current mood. Realising how harsh your words might have sounded you grab your companion’s hand before he can withdraw them dejectedly from the top of the table and intertwine your fingers, in hope, that the scowl on his otherwise charming face would disappear.

”You're my best friend, my family but..” You gulp, it’s hard for you to speak your mind as you’re not even sure you understand your spiralling thoughts. ”..she’s my family too. Is it weird that I’m this worried about a girl that I haven’t seen since I was ten?” A humourless chuckle escapes into the air, but Hoseok doesn’t laugh with you.

”She’s still your sister, honey.” The firm statement should be enough to make any insecurities you have, vanish into the diner’s stuffy air, but you’re not sure. He rubs comforting small circles into your cold skin as the food is long forgotten on the table.

The air gets sucked out of your lungs when you take the polaroid picture out of Hoseok’s hands, with trembling fingers you feel like a knee is shoved up in your gut, you experienced it once when you were training with Hoseok. It felt like you’re on the ground again in Hoseok’s backyard face covered in dirt as he placed a leg over your tummy not pushing his entire weight on you like it weighs you down now in an imaginary situation that only you can see and experience. You’re not sure if it would be appropriate to cry as you don’t personally know this person anymore, however, you’re unable to cry, you just feel utterly shocked.

It was suspicious enough when Hoseok found a white envelope neatly placed in the centre of the welcoming rug in front of your hostel room, there was neither a recipient, an address nor anything on it for that matter, it was just a white envelope with a single polaroid picture inside that showed your sister’s face twisted in agony and body bound sitting in a five per five square metre cage like she’s some kind of animal. When you flipped to the white back to see the other side with black ink there was a number jotted down in messy handwriting; with bold letters, there was an eight.

Thanks to Hoseok’s quick reflexes he was able to catch you before you lost your balance, he wrapped his arms around your waist and kicked the door open with his foot so he can make you lie down for a bit.

You closed your eyes as Hoseok instructed, took deep breaths, and let his warm voice and reassuring scent ground you as he stroked your hairline, you’re head cleared after fifteen minutes of lying down and listening to your best friend’s voice telling you sweet nothings. You felt utterly weak by breaking down in front of him even though he tried to comfort you and tell you he didn’t think you’re weak in any way because of showing your vulnerable side to him – in fact, he thought you are brave and very strong.

You let him hold your hand while you took a closer look, eyes hardening after you sat up on the bed, you were always better at discovering little details than him since he’s not made in a way to pierce together such complicated threads and he doesn’t have the patience for it as well, you’re good at analysing and picking out the best options that’s why you are the planner and Hoseok remains the executioner of said plans. It’s the mutual agreement and strongly pillared partnership that got you two this far.

The devil is in the details, you always tell him.

The cage is in the centre, and you’re certain that where she’s held hostage must be somewhere underground because there’s no natural light, no windows, it’s dimly lit and the iron bars are casting shadows on the wall, it’s a close shot that doesn’t reveal too much detail but your eyes picked out something, your orbs focus on the wall, you can make out the shape of the body and the cage but there are other shadows that cannot belong to one cage, it’s a dozen shadows more iron bars and more body shadows trapped in the same way. You gasp once the heaviness of the situation sinks in, the picture triggers something in your memory but not quite able to reach it yet, it’s a tug on the subconscious that you can’t decipher.  

You force your gaze to examine the girl in the centre, her leg is bound to a chain that’s an appurtenance of the iron trap, there’s a bowl with a clear liquid inside, and then it finally clicks, the image forces its way to see the upper part of your mind where buried memories shouldn’t resurface. Your eyes grew in size as you grip Hoseok’s hand tighter, tearing your eyes from the polaroid and take a glance in his way.

”How could I forget?” Unmasked bewilderment fogs your naturally dark eyes, it makes so much sense, you scold yourself inside your mind.

***

”What will you be if you grow up?” The wind embrangles her pigtails, your younger self’s lips turn upwards into a sly smile as you help your sister to go faster on the swing, you don’t take her words to heart as you reply.

”An adult.” You snicker, but Hana just laughs at the obvious answer, even though you didn’t bat an eyelash to answer your sister’s voice is full of fiery passion but that time you didn’t pay much attention to it. She liked to talk about the future with you and while you gave her almost the same set of words, her mind changes like the wind around you. Last week she told you she’ll be a writer, before that she told you that she’ll surely become a doctor to save lives, so you didn’t take her seriously when she answered.

”I’ll save the people that are mistreated.” You rolled your eyes at that, the news you two overheard while your father drank his coffee that morning probably influenced her reply, she always takes things to heart.

It’s not that you didn’t feel sorry for them, the image you two saw this morning is a sight that no children should see, the dirty facility where women were held captive before the police shut down the place last week hardly can call themselves a ’marketplace’ it was more like a cover for body trafficking. You often tidy your father’s office to earn more pocket money so you are aware that your father has the case that includes the illegal black market sales but you decided not to tell Hana.

”You’ll become a lawyer just like our father then?” You know that she’ll forget about the news next week if she sees a kicked puppy on the street, maybe she’ll say she’s going to be a vet. Howbeit you consider yourself a good sister so you let her be if she wants to be someone who can help people that’s fine, her dream is important to you even if it’s a fleeting thought until something else doesn’t catch her interest.

”No.” Hana answers without missing a beat, your hand freezes next to your body as you tilt your head in question. Asking for her to explain.

”Legal measures takes so much time, I’ll come up with something different.” You see as a mischievous glint appears in her glossy eyes, the biting wind makes her vision blurry but it doesn’t make her less determined.

***

”What is it?” Hoseok inquires, the worry he feels towards you eats him alive as he watches your faraway look focus back on his orbs. You bite your lip hard that it draws a few drops of blood, guilt resonates in your bones crawls under your skin as you take a deep breath. You shove the unwanted feeling back into the depths of your mind.

You need a plan.

***

You bath in sweat and dirt as you cling to Hoseok’s back, the gunfire rings in your ears as you push forward with your ally hot in your heel as you navigate the both of you in the labyrinth of underground corridors, he protects your body with his own as he takes out the guards that try to stop the two of you.

”Fuck.” You groan more in frustration than in pain, a bullet scratched your forearm as you pushed Hoseok out of the way so he doesn’t get the critical hit. The culprit behind the shot shortly falls to his knees as Hoseok with a well-aimed shot hit the lobe of the man's temple tainting the dirty walls with fresh strokes of blood.

”We’re almost there.” You ignore the throbbing in your arm as you point to a door nearby, the boy next to you looks ahead and nods stepping over the dead man as you go, adrenaline pumps in his veins as he knocks the door down that makes a few people inside the cages flinch away in fear. The wall is filled with cages and your heart sinks to your stomach as you hear a few whimpers and painful mewls.

Hoseok nods in the direction of the oak door at the far back and you nod in confirmation, the main office, there’ll be the person you two searched for while intruding and fighting the whole building. The man that shakes like a leaf by the time you enter the office behind Hoseok’s form already started to beg for his life, but as it’s expected from your best friend the plea and pathetic sobs barely makes him lower his gun.

You step out of his shadow and place a hand on his shoulder telling him silently to let the questioning to you.

”What’s the location of the other underground facilities? Answer me!” You demand banging your fist down on the luxurious table, not beating around the bush as you narrow your eyes on the pitiful sight. The man shakes his head maniacally, eyes not straying away from the boy that holds the power over his life.

”It’s rude not to answer when a lady asks something.” Hoseok interjects, motioning with his gun to open his mouth, but the man repeatedly shakes his head, your friend’s hand tightens around the gun he stares at the man with calmness, his face is perfectly neutral as he doesn’t show any emotion just like any other time that requires him to be professional. If you didn’t know him well you would think he’s heartless, but in any other situation, his face is very expressive or maybe he’s only that way with you. It’s not the time to think about that though and you look back to inspect the man.

”If you don’t tell me what I want to know I’ll tell my friend there with the gun to shot your joints one by one and when you’re howling in pain, that only I’ll tell him to ease a bullet inside your head, do you understand me?” The dark colouring of your voice sounds foreign, even to you, but this time you’re not shaking with fear but with anger.

”I can’t! He’ll kill me!” The man sobs, getting dizzy as fear overpowers his common sense, can’t see anything else, his tunnel vision trained on the gun that expressionless man points at him as his boss’ face flashed before his eyes.

”I’ll kill you first if you don’t answer but if you do, maybe there’s a silver of hope that you can survive.” You reason with him, no one wants to die and you build on this fact to make him spill the information you need, yet you have a bad feeling when something that doesn’t seem like fear appears in his eyes before the man could fish something out of his drawer Hoseok already pulled the trigger, everything gets covered in blood you and Hoseok are no exception.

You step on his hand to loosen up the convulsive muscles to see what’s in his palm, it was a pen, you rake your fingers through your blood stained hair anger settles in your body as you half yell the words out.

”Why did you shot him?! We’ll never know the location!” Your body shakes in rage and exhaustion, you harshly pull out the remaining drawers, papers fly around as you’re looking for something, anything that would give you a hint where your sister is held captive until a strong pull interrupts your hysterical movements. His hand curls protectively around your hip as he keeps your body flush against him.

”Fucking calm down! He would have never told you! What if in his hand there’s a gun ready to blow your brain out, huh?!” Hoseok is tired of you being in a state of anger and despair, he wants nothing more than for you to free your sister and have your sappy happy ending, that’s why you two started this long journey in the first place but even if a gun is held to his temple he’ll never let you die if he can help it. You can be mad at him all you want but he would do the same in a heartbeat. You’ll always be his first priority and you know that, at least, he hopes that you know that.

”Ok. Get the papers we will burn this hellhole down to the ground.” You gently push him away with both hands planted on his chest, you still sound affected but much more calmer so he nods. While he gathers everything that’s moveable in the office you exit so you can free the poor women and men.

You two don’t have much time before the police arrives the interrogation was fruitless and consumed too much time, the sirens are probably already off alerting the authorities and if not neighbouring buildings rang up the police station hearing all the weaponry sounds, you are sure of it.

”The police will arrive soon if you don’t want to get caught than run as far as possible from this place.” You fidget with the first lock, peeking at a young caucasian woman that lays in a fetus position, she rigidly jerks her body up as soon as the cage’s door slides open with a metallic clunk.

You’re halfway done with freeing everyone only a handful left when you hear the sirens, Hoseok joins you grabbing your hand to pull you to the door and make a run for it but you shake your head and stood your ground not letting his strength to sweep you off your feet that’s firmly rooted to the greasy floor even when you speak up you make sure to free another man from the tiny cage.

”We need to free everyone my sister would want that. Please Hoseok help, I can’t do this all alone.” He sees the desperation behind your beautiful eyes as you plead hopeful eyes locking with his that holds so much pain if he had the power he would give you everything, he can’t say no to you when you look at him with such a vulnerable expression painted on your face. Hoseok grunts in disbelief that you still try to save lives when your own is on the line, he normally likes your pure heart but not in a situation like this, however, he finds himself nodding and springing to action. One day you’ll be the death of him Hoseok shakes his head in acceptance.

You stood in front of the last cage and the sirens sounding dreadfully close now, the boy inside seems unconscious so you gesture for Hoseok to help you out.

Destroying the locket for the fifteenth time, fortunately, shortens the time wasted and the iron bars slide open easily if you push hard enough by the time your best friend joins you. The man looks pale and skinny if his hollow cheeks and body shape is anything to go by, you leave it at that because there’s no place nor time to inspect his features or the state he’s in when the police could flood the place at any time from now on. He looks dirty and in miserable shape as Hoseok lifts his unconscious body up.

***

”Tell me there’s a fucking back door.” Hoseok growls as he holds up the boy like he’s a ragdoll between his arms. You start running and Hoseok follows you without questions, he trusts you with his life and you lead the both of you away from the police in time.

”Is he alive?” You spat Hoseok’s hands away when he reaches to pat the unmoving boy’s cheeks probably as an attempt to wake him up, a few droplets from his skin slide down the pretty boy’s cheek but he doesn’t steer from his sleep even for the slightest. You place a palm on his chest so you could feel his breathing pattern better, he’s breathing so he’s definitely alive. His pulse is quick, he must be in pain.

”Can you bring me some warm water in that?” You point at the basin near the sink that it's in clear view from the open bathroom door, sliding his towel to rest around his neck Hoseok nods and turns around to do as you asked. You fix your stare to take a closer look at the boy laying on cheap hostel provided sheets, the place you three are staying in for tonight is far the worst accommodation you ever encountered but beggars cannot be choosers as the saying goes. The poor boy's body is littered with cuts and bruises and looks underweight so you handle him carefully when Hoseok returns with a hand towel and warm water since he’s immobile at the moment you try to clean him up as best as you can in this situation before you start mapping out his body for injuries to treat.

You had to cut off his shirt so you could access his bruises while you waited patiently for Hoseok to get back with a bag full of ointments, pain killers and gauzes, the trip to the pharmacy was uneventful as much as it was quick, you heaved a sigh when Hoseok returned soon with the supplies.

You know he wanted to tell you off because of how reckless you were back there but he doesn’t say anything and instead, your best friend occupied himself with ordering food from a local fast-food chain restaurant whilst you nursed the boy back into health as best as your tools let you, with combined forces, you two were able to dress the boy in one of Hoseok’s clothes, it was not the best fit as it mostly hangs loosely around his body but it’s better than the dirty ones he wore.

”Let me see your arm.” Hoseok’s warm gaze filled with concern easily makes you bend to his will as you feel guilty for yelling at him when he was only taking care of you so you let him wrap your arm up after you opted for a quick shower.

It’s early in the morning when you hear soft whimpers coming from the other side of the room and your eyes immediately shoot open almost knocking heads with Hoseok as you two shared a bed to let the rescued man has his own space.

The boy next to you only grunted since his mind still felt heavy with sleep as you rolled over him to land your feet on the ground. However, you felt as awake as you could possibly be, you took cautious steps towards the boy whose eyes are closed in pain as little mewls and faint puffs of air left his parted dry lips.

He probably heard your footsteps as his nostrils flared and his eyes opened pupils dilated in carnal fear; the boy grabbed your hand tight that’s honestly unexpected since he looks so fragile and skinny, it must be his strong will to survive that still makes him kicking.

”It’s ok, I’m not here to hurt you. Me and my friend freed you from the cage and since you were unconscious we brought you here.” You calmly explained the situation to him, trying to ignore the pain his hold brought until Hoseok decided to touch his gun’s barrel to the boy’s forehead.

”Let. Her. Go.” He emphasised each word, the sleepiness vanished from his puffy eyes as soon as he heard your yelp out of pain.

”You’ll scare him Hoseok! Lower your gun or I’ll kick your shin so hard you’ll see stars beyond your vision.” You stood before the boy protectively just like Hoseok hides your body out of harms way all the time, the boy still held your hand hostage but you ignored the pain that radiates from your radius all the way to your upper arm.  

”Why don’t you go and get us some food? I can handle this on my own.” You nod your head to the door’s direction before he has the chance to open his mouth and retort something. You can almost see his nostrils flare up in anger before he storms to the door and closes it harshly behind his retreating body.

You let out a tired sigh before you turn around again, you hate when Hoseok is angry all the more if you’re the cause of it, but the boy won’t trust you if he towers over him like a shadow and holds a gun to his forehead while you try to gain some of his trust.

”I treated your wounds last night but I have some pain killers that I can give you if you let me have my hand back, that is.” The boy immediately lets you go and the pain ebbs into a dull ache when your blood rushes back to your poor limb.

You get the medicine from the pharmacy paper bag from the nightstand while pouring him a glass of cold water the boy accepts it carefully, blankly looking at the circular pills before popping it into his mouth.

Not expecting him to speak, you offer him to take a shower and he accepts it, you’re glad he comes out before Hoseok comes back you’re not sure if the two of them wouldn’t start a fight right off.

”I need to check your dressings to make sure you heal properly, is that ok if I take a look?” You smile invitingly, the boy is still stiff in posture but he nods at least, it’s a start you can work with.

You motion for him to sit at the edge of the bed and he complies you lift his shirt up gently not to alert him while you try to apply the new dressings. It’s hard to hold his shirt out of the way and work all the same so you look up to ask for his assistance, only to realise he had his eyes on you all this time, dark eyes watching you with something unreadable swimming in his sharp orbs.  

”Can you hold your shirt up? I need both hands to tend to your injuries.” You explain and he does listen to you, which is a good sign, you bite your lip so you can stop the smile that threatens to overtake your features but you fail miserably as the sides of your mouth turn upwards without your permission.

”You heal well.” You murmur once you're done with his torso. It’s not just his recently got injuries that concern you, you saw so many across his skin deeper and older than those you treated when he was still unconscious his back is full of badly healed tissues and scars. He must have to endure a lot of pain.

”Can I touch your face? I’ll just apply some ointment for your bruises under your eye.” You make sure to hold his gaze while asking for his permission, you need to show him you respect him and listen to the words or gestures he makes, it’s the only way to have some of his trust installed in you even if earning his full trust would take months maybe years but you don’t think he’ll stick around for that long. He’ll leave as soon as he has the chance, in his shoes, you would do the same.

”Y-yes.” It’s the first thing he tells you and you’re beyond ecstatic that he decided to talk to you, the water he drank to wash the taste of pain killers away helped his vocal cords function but his throat is still hoarse from the lack of use over the months he spent in a tiny cell. He still needs to get used to the light that filters through the window, he doesn’t remember when was the last time he got a sneak peek outside or seen light that’s not artificial from a lamp but actually comes from the sun in all-natural glory and warmth. He was either dumped into the back of a trunk hearing the heavy traffic and feeling the sway of his cage bumping into other things or sat in darkness in a bad-smelling place where his only possession was his cage and plastic dog bowl of dirty water.

But you smell nice and treat him nice, you didn’t hit him even though he can see the bruise that formed on your skin where he held you on your wrist.

”There. All fixed up.” The boy didn’t realise that you were done as he seemed so lost in his thoughts, you would have easily taken advantage of his foolish absentminded state but you fixed him up instead.

He could feel as tears started to well up under his eyes, he hasn’t cried in years despite the pain he endured, he never cried, it was such a long time ago that someone showed him any form of kindness, and here you were, you didn’t leave him behind, you didn’t submit him to the authorities and you smiled at him although he hurt you, the first set of tears he lets slide down his face and dampen his hollow cheeks are happy tears.

”Oh no, don’t cry. No one’s gonna hurt you now.” That small smile outshines the gloss in his eyes, he buries his face into the juncture of your neck, you have no idea what triggered the tears but you’re here to help him through it.

He’s quietly sobbing whilst you slide your palm over the expanse of his back consoling his heart while yours breaks for him, and for the first time in months you forget about your abducted sister, forget about the sacrifices you and Hoseok had to make hand in hand with the choices you were forced to make so you two could stand where you are.

***

You hugged him to your chest and you let him hug you, in your fragile bubble for a few emotional moments it was only you and him.

”I hope you two are hungry for some take out Chinese food.” Hobi returns with large disposable containers that held the freshly made goods, the aroma of your favourite sesame honey-dipped chicken penetrates your nose’s odour sensors and your mouth salivates as you can instantly imagine the taste already.

You grab two boxes and place one on the boy’s lap to take, you don’t linger on his form as you watch your best friend take a seat opposite the both of you.

He seems to come back in a somehow calmer state as he didn’t even glare at the boy this time nor he pointed his gun to blast his skull, he minds his own business while he tries to pry open the lid and a heavyweight feels like it's lifted from your shoulders. You hate when he’s upset because of you.

”Slow down or you’ll choke on the food.” You warn the boy beside you as he shovels the food into his mouth like it’s his last supper using a plastic fork since he can’t seem to know how to use the chopsticks that came with it.

”Here, drink this.” Hoseok gives you the drink but he talks to the other man, he looks less cautious around him so he nods in gratitude and takes a few sips after you remove the lid and present him the bottle.

”Look, I’m sorry if we started on the wrong foot. I just get bitchy when my best friend is hurt or I think she’s in danger. I didn’t mean to harm you.” You’re pleased when Hoseok apologises even if you can totally understand his reasonings and it seems like the boy can understand his point of view too because he gives your best friend a small polite smile.

After the early lunch, you dumped the empty containers into the bin and you and Hoseok started to sort out the papers you brought back from the underground facility as the new addition to the team, Jimin, since he finally told you his name - after he finished his last bite - decided to take a short nap so the two of you whisper discussed the documents. Unfortunately, there was nothing overly rewarding written down, you saw files on the men and women that were held there but Jimin’s file was not there which earned a quizzical look from the both of you.

There was a shipment document that suggested the arrival of another ’package’ but the details were crossed out making the lines unreadable, nothing that would come in handy while you try to track down the facilities, it cost the two of you a month to track down this one and you don’t have time to waste that much all over again.

***

”No, absolutely not.” You answered sternly when you heard Hoseok’s insane idea, you’re not letting him go alone to a meeting with a black market seller. Over your dead body that you’ll let him face such a dangerous situation on his own, even if you know you’re not much of a help to him when things are working in action.

You’re a good planner and you saved his ass multiple times with your quick problem-solving skills but you’re not as strong as him or good with weapons to his extent as your fellow mate you give him that.

”Y/N, I’ll be back before you can count to a hundred, you know I’m good. Also, Jimin is still injured so he needs you here.” You almost give in but you’re stubborn and worried that something will happen to him while you’re not by his side and you’ll never know what happened to him.

What if he gets killed and buried where you won’t be able to find his corpse to bring him home, literally anything can go wrong with his plan.

Hoseok looks over your shoulder to coax some kind of help out of Jimin but he’s at a loss for words, he doesn’t know if he has any right to pick sides. Both arguments are on point considering the different aspects and angles. Jimin personally speaking wants Y/N to stay but he doesn’t want to get on her bad side if he opposes her so he keeps silent.

”You know I’m right and I could focus entirely on the matter at hand if I know you’re here and safe.” Even though you don’t want to admit it and you would get angry any other time if he implies that you’re somehow a burden to him, but you know that in a way he’s right, when you join him he not only has to look out for himself but keep you safe and sound as well and that means he can’t focus entirely as his concentration is divided between his and your safety and you know that your well-being is a top priority that’s even higher on the list than his own safety, he loves you that much. You hate to admit he’s right as much as you hate when he’s angry because you did something stupid, but you sigh in defeat.  

”Fine but you better come back to me or I’ll find your corpse and beat the shit out of you.” It’s a meaningless threat and the both of you laugh out loud before he cages your body between his arms to share a bone-crushing hug.

”Who do you think I am? Only you have the permission to kill me, remember? I’ll come back so don’t leave this shity room just to aimlessly search for my corpse, got it?” You nod into his chest, taking deep breaths inhaling his comforting scent before you decide to let him go. He’s right, this room is shity.

”You’re in charge while I’m gone.” Now Hoseok turns to Jimin to playfully ruffle his hair as the two boys say their goodbyes as well.

***

Hoseok’s honey brown hair is parted in the middle, stylishly trousered by the wind, wearing a simple outfit of jeans and a black knitted sweater under his white lab coat, cheeks flushed pink, looking like he run all the way from his department to yours just to catch you before you leave to have lunch, he didn’t even bother to toss the coat he uses for practice into his bag in his hurry.

”Oh, here’s my favourite psychiatrist. You’re late again.” You wait until his breathing is under control to tease him, playfully nudging his chest with your elbow when he straightens up from his crouched position panting with his hands on his knees, earning an overdramatic growl from him, you motion for him to keep bowing his head so you can help him tame his wild locks. Hoseok’s eye closes on their own feeling your gentle fingers massaging his scalp, trying to get rid of the knots that formed in his slightly longer hair.

His hair sticks in every imaginable direction while you try to smooth the hairs to frame his handsome face. Hoseok lets you fix his messy hairstyle mindful of your height differences. Once you’re satisfied with your work you finish his grooming with a final peck onto his hairline that never fails to make him smile.

Swinging your bag to rest against the other side of your shoulder you grab his hand with your free one to pull him behind you to the dining hall’s direction. ”How was class?”

”The usual. How about you?” His smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes when he answers but you don’t question him, instead, you grin back matching his gesture with more enthusiasm put behind it to make a genuine boyish smile appear on his wrinkled features since smiling looks the best on your best friend.

”Good.” You nod. Swaying your interlocked hands in the air you decide to dismiss the signs of tiredness in front of you, diverting his attention from the problems that are weighing his mind down you start talking about the new corner restaurant that opened near your shity apartment complex. He promised to try it out with you one day after school and your mind is already filled with delicious food and with your best friend as a company.

You had no idea how hard things were for him at that time. The illusions you were under were perfectly crafted by him, there was only a handful of slip ups but you dismissed all of them. Choose to ignore it because he seemed fine, a little off, but fine.

If only you would have addressed the elephant in the room when you first noticed his weird behaviour.

Hoseok was always good at pretending like everything was fine in his life even though at some point when his visits turned out to be less frequent around campus you told yourself that he’s probably busy studying and after it took hours, sometimes even days for him to text back you thought he’s probably in class or he’s asleep or he’s studying depending on the time of the day.

It took four months exactly when you realised he didn’t attend school anymore. His scholarship got invalidated after his GPA dropped below acceptable and he couldn’t pay the tuition fee to continue his studies, he was forced to drop out. You were so shocked when they told you at the information desk that he’s no longer their student, you took the first bus to his house and banged on his front door waited for hours, desperate to talk to him because he didn’t answer any of your calls or texts and when he finally showed up late at night close to midnight covered in bruises and blood you lost it.

You cried in front of him, couldn’t decide if you were upset because he’s hurt or because he didn’t tell you anything about his situation or because he didn’t answer any of your texts or all of the above but his face became so blurry from your tears, the bottled up emotions left you all at once in the form of salty tears, you refused his hug when he tried to console you and since you were aggressively rubbing your eyes to get the blurriness clear out that you couldn’t see the hurt in his eyes when you rejected him. It hurt more to see you cry for him than any of his bruises or cuts on his skin.

He wanted to tell you multiple times but any time he looked into your eyes he changed his mind, he didn’t want to burden you with his problems (afraid that you will hate him if you realise what he had become) so he decided it’s best to leave you out of it while he searched for a solution alone. Hoseok tried every legal way to be able to pay back his debts but the money wasn’t enough. That’s why he accepted a job offer that landed him in the middle of all of this mess.

This time he told you everything while you were stitching him up inside his living room. He couldn’t deny the truth now that you saw him beaten up and covered in someone’s else blood.

It was a huge turning point in your relationship as you listened to Hoseok’s explanation, dapping an alcohol soaked cloth to his side to clean his skin, his torso was full of cuts and darkened spots.

Your heart was breaking for him every time he hissed in pain when you accidentally put pressure behind your motions, he looked tired and skinnier than usual. Hoseok was always a good eater, you wondered if he uses all of the money to pay back the school.

You had to nurse him back to health countless times making sure that his injuries don’t get infected before he became the best at what he does because now he comes back with barely a scratch visible on him.

He evolved into a man that could kill mercilessly leaving his persona behind, you found it terrifying how easy it was for him to switch personalities he had full understanding over the severity of his actions and it changed him. The first kill changed him and the realisation that you can never go back to the way things were before was eye opening.

He couldn’t sleep anymore without someone beside him. Nightmares tortured him every night until he passed out on your couch one day while you two were watching a movie. You decided it’s best to move in together so you can make sure he’s alright, even if he insisted everything’s fine.

Hoseok was not that boy you once knew but he needed you, he cried with you soaking the material of your shirt with his tears when he thought he’s about to lose you because you discovered his secret.

He gave you up without realising because now, he’s a criminal and you’re not. Losing you seemed a greater punishment than death itself.

The beginning was hard.

But you accepted this new Hoseok and stood by his side no matter what. That’s when he made you that promise that he’ll always protect you. He cut out everyone else from his life but he couldn’t cut you out.

He tried to create distance between you two that’s why he didn’t show up to have lunch together anymore or that’s the reason why he ignored your texts and calls but in the end, he just couldn’t do it.

***

It’s been twenty or so minutes that your eyes focused on a fixed point on the television’s screen, Jimin could tell that you don’t follow the drama that’s currently playing because you look so lost in your thoughts completely oblivious to the outside world, he thinks you wouldn’t even notice if someone walked in right now and held a gun to your temple.

”What's on your mind?” Jimin taps your right shoulder three times before your mind even registers the motion and makes your head jerk in his direction to look him in the eye.

You give him a sheepish smile, it’s an odd time to remember the past. You wonder if him leaving you somehow triggered those memories to resurface, it’s been a while since you were separated from him after all. After you moved in together he became a constant presence in your life. You were always close as best friends but after his situation, your bond became even stronger.

”You’re worried about Hoseok?” His correct guess makes you chuckle, you must be really transparent. You nod your head at Jimin’s question, deep down you know there’s nothing you could do for him even if you were standing right next to him as he meets with that man.

He has years of training behind his back, he’s the best of the best but Hoseok is not invincible so you’re still worried.

Also, there’s a small part in you that knows the man he’s going to meet with. He didn’t need to say it out loud, you knew who he was talking about. Old memories resurface and you can’t quite place your sudden fear that he’ll say something to him. Hoseok has been fine for a while and you’re afraid that meeting with him will change something again.

***

”I’m surprised you showed up Yoongi.” Hoseok dusts off his pants as he stands up, meeting the man in the middle of the closed off warehouse, it’s a different building than you used before but the layout is the same.

He already has four different routes planned out if he needs to make a quick escape his gun is strapped to his side for easy access.

”I’m surprised you’re still alive.” Yoongi snorts, the sarcastic comment is very Yoongi like to say and it makes Hoseok smile a little it tastes bittersweet on his tongue. It reminds him of old times when he started this whole mess.

He became his mentor for quite some time showed Hoseok how to use a gun so his kill will be less messy and told him to leave the knives for pity thieves. A professional needs a gun.

Yoongi gave him a rare model with a skull engraved into the handle and Hoseok still has it.

Yoongi was his first non kill, he offered him more money so he killed the customer instead. He’s a sneaky little bitch when it comes to business and he’s far more well off because of that, a good judge of character. Hoseok and him made a great team, in the beginning. He helped him pay off his debts in no time. They lost contact however when Yoongi didn’t have any more work for him and their business relationship ended just like that.

Yoongi normally doesn’t answer calls but with Hoseok he found himself curious about what he wanted from him so he showed up. There was no trap but it doesn’t mean they let their guards down around each other.

”I’m better than the last time you saw me.” Hoseok puffs out his chest confidently proud of the progress he made over the years. They might not work together anymore but he still feels proud when Yoongi praises his progress. He trained hard so you will never see him in that condition again, he hated seeing you cry over his beaten up form. He made sure no one is fast or strong enough to hurt him before he hurt them ten times more.

”Oh, believe me, I heard. You made yourself quite a name in the industry Hoseok. I’m a little proud.” The man crossed his arms in front of his chest, he wore black from the tip of his head to his toes.

The exchange looked like friendly banter rather than a deal making in the process but Yoongi can’t deny he always liked people like Hoseok. He had his goals and made sure to stick to them.

There are newfangled rumours that he’s travelling with a woman as of late, Yoongi found it interesting. ”How is your girlfriend? I think you found yourself a real beauty, does she know you kill people for money?”

Hoseok doesn’t let the reaction be visible on his face but something changes in his eyes, Yoongi finds it amusing when he sees his hand turn into a strong fist. He hit the nail in its head.

He had his doubts before but seeing the obvious change in his demeanour it’s clear that Hoseok cares about that woman.

”Don’t worry about it, I don’t have any business with her. I think you have something to tell me, no? I don’t think you came all the way here to see how I’m doing.”

The smile that stretches across Yoongi’s face is sinister Hoseok matches it with a dark look of his own, nodding. Even though it would sound like a threat to anyone else, knowing Yoongi’s way of thinking he knows the former just wants to warn him to be more careful because people like to talk. Having a weakness can be a fatal mistake in his line of work but he’s selfish he wants you close to him. He knows the best for you would be if you stopped searching for your sister and went back to school but he also knows you and you’ll never do as he says. You’re stubborn and with or without him you would continue this journey so he decided it’s best if you stick close to him.

”I’m searching for someone. I want you to track her down the money is not an issue.”

”I have enough money. What I want is a little different.” Hoseok feels his palm getting sweaty. It’s unlike Yoongi to refuse good old money so he’s speechless for outdrawn minutes before Yoongi crooks and eyebrow in annoyance. He’s notorious for his impatient nature.

”What do you want then?”

”I want to meet with that woman. I have something to tell her.”