#alch!writes

[ouralcohol]

Let You In

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x fem!reader 

Summary: what happens when Bradley finally lets you in?

Tags: angst, lots of angst, 18+, allusions to sex, soft, maybe some fluff if you squint your eyeballs

Author’s note: I saw a gif and immediately got inspired. Some people inspired this too... enjoy... comments and reblogs make the world go 'round.

This was the first time you had done this with him. You didn't think that you would have gotten this far with him if you were being honest with yourself. Bradley Bradshaw always had a line of women lined up around the corner whenever he was in town. The reason you knew this was because for as long as you could remember, he always had some kind of arm candy with him whenever he went to the local bar while he was in his hometown of Virginia Beach.

From the last couple of years that you had known him, you never thought that you would get here. More specifically, get here with him. You had always wondered what it would be like to be with him underneath the sheets. Anyone that had eyeballs and a sense of taste would agree. So, what had changed? What had made the line between friends to… whatever this was, blur? You weren't exactly sure, perhaps it had to do with his near death experience? Or was it your signature sundress that you happened to wear every time he strolled in?

The dress was bunched up somewhere on his apartment floor right now… not that it mattered. What mattered was that you were here with him.

Out of all the girls he could have chosen-- he chose you.

You never asked him how long he was here, but you did notice that he was coming around to the bar more frequently. The fact of the matter was that Bradley was good, he was very good in bed. The naval aviator had made you see stars in a manner that you never seen them before. Everything was different with him.

There was some faint music that hit your ears. You stirred from your slumber as your hands rubbed the tiredness from your eyes. This had been one of the most restful sleeps you had gotten in a long time. If it wasn't one thing, it was another. Stress was never your friend and you hated it. However, on this particular night, you had slept like a rock. It took you a couple of seconds for your brain to register where you were. The surroundings were not familiar, but you felt at ease. The photo frame on the nightstand made you smile as the moonlight shone upon the frame.

You were in Bradley's bed in his Virginia home. You noted the owner was missing. Ah, so that must be the source of the music, your brain thought as you looed around for your underwear. And idea sparked as your eyes saw that one of his Hawaiian shirts was also on the floor. Contrary to popular belief, you had come to find out that he only owned four, maybe five shirts in total. Your hands grabbed it as you ever so carefully slipped it on, afraid to wrinkle it even more. You didn't even bother to button the oversized shirt. It didn't reveal anything-- maybe some side boobage, but rare if that. Your feet carried you out into the hallway and walk closer to where the music was coming from. The melody that was playing was very different from the lively jigs that the common folk were so attuned to. It was a much slower and softer tune, melancholy even. Curiosity filled you as you inched closer, the music getting louder.

There were many sides to Bradley. People only saw what they wanted to see. People only heard what they wanted to hear. Everyone saw him as an energetic, happy-go-lucky kind of guy, but there were fleeting moments where you happened to glance his way and he was staring off into space for a brief second-- lost in his own thoughts. You never made any mention of it as it wasn't your place to ask. You were friends, but you didn't feel like he was comfortable enough to let himself be a certain way with you.

You being you, wanted to know everything about him. You wouldn't lie to yourself and say that you weren't infatuated, because you were. Every girl at the bar was infatuated with him whenever he walked in. The music factor was a bonus and caused them to leave their tongues hanging out. The way some women gawked at him was incredible. You didn't understand how you could feel this way toward someone that you hardly knew. If you only knew.

Once you had stepped into the small open space and saw his broad shoulders hunched over the piano, your body instantly relaxed. You hadn't realized that you had been nervous, your heart beginning to hammer in your chest with anticipation. You should have known what to expect, but you didn't know exactly what was in store. It's not like you slept with every guy… and it only made you wonder how many girls he had brought home. Seeing his fingers touch the keys so fluidly reminded you just how skilled he had been a few hours ago while making you see heaven on Earth. He wasn't wearing much, only his boxers-- he didn't even have to try to do anything and he looked so handsome. With his locks a little messy, but still so good that made you want to run your fingers through his hair like you had done a while ago.

The image floated in your mind which made you squeeze your thighs together before making your way to where he was sitting down. You had your hands behind your walk while you stood next to the piano. Bradley immediately noticed you, his eyes stuck on your face as his fingers continued to move across the keys so effortlessly-- a softer tune now, "Sorry if I woke you up." Bradley uttered. "Couldn't sleep?" You asked suddenly feeling shy, exposed even. You felt like you were invading his personal intimacy with his piano. Bradley Bradshaw's eyes did not stray from yours, not even for a second. His fingers came to a slow stop-- the ringing of the notes lingering in the air.

The thick tension that caused all of this to happen between you both, had returned. It enveloped you and him in an imaginary bubble. You swallowed thickly as you felt his hand circle around your wrist to bring you in front of him. Your body was encased between him and his piano. Bradley's big strong hands held you in place, eyes still locked on yours. "No. I can never sleep anymore." The pilot whispered to you. You let out a slow breath. He was letting you in. "May I?" You gently queried as you brought your hand up to his face. Bradley nodded, "Close your eyes." You told him with a quiet voice. He did as you asked without hesitation, his body tensing.

You shifted your body slightly-- hitting some random keys in the process so you could have better access to him. You placed your index finger on his neck and ran down his scar ever so delicately. Some would say it was a featherlight touch, you just didn't want to overwhelm him with the sensory that was going on. He wasn't a porcelain doll by any means, but you also felt like he didn't let people touch sensitive areas that reminded him of his past. Bradley inhaled sharply and you hesitated for a split second before continuing. Moments that only took seconds felt like a complete eternity to you, maybe for him too. Everything happened in slow motion for you. The area surrounding you both dissolved and you felt like you were floating and all of time had stood still with Bradley in front of you. Once you finished tracing that scar, you transitioned to the ones on his chin. The contrast of your soft skin against the stubble of his was making your insides melt. You noticed that Bradley was very still. A part of you wanted to tell him that it was okay, that it was just you. However, something inside you refrained you from doing so, though, a little voice in the back of your head was telling you that this silence was exactly what he needed. You took your index finger back and used your pinky to touch the scar on his lower cheek near his mouth. Then the one near his ear. The pilot let out a shaky breath through his mouth, as he opened his eyes, still fixated on yours. Your heart was going a mile a minute, hand slightly shaking from the sensation that this caused you.

He was giving you a tender look, almost like he could finally breathe again. "Moonbeam." He said, "Bradley." You responded with your hands still on his face. The nickname had stuck after a second meeting, something he had never clarified with you. It wasn't common, and you didn't question him. You waited for him to speak, for him to say anything.

He turned his head face down and pressed his forehead against your abdomen, the grip on your hips tightening as he said something that you couldn't make out. "What?" You gasped before you could stop yourself. You felt the air he was breathing linger in your lower abdomen, as he spoke a little louder, "You make me feel less lonely." Once your brain registered the words that had been told, you wondered if he had brought anyone here. "Oh?" You queried him, hopefully not pushing him too much. Bradley picked his head up again as he looked back up at your face, "I don't bring people here. There's so much… but.. with you.. things feel easier." He managed to say, his voice slow and even. You could tell this was taking a toll, but you waited calmly. Your heart was instantly breaking and re-stitching itself as the words echoed in your brain.

Bradley Bradshaw was a sweet man. Bradley Bradshaw was someone that deserved to be love just like anyone else. Your thumb began to caress this cheek as he inhaled again, breathing you in, taking all of you and getting drunk from your scent alone. "I'm the first person you bring here?" You asked unable to stop yourself as your other hand went to the other side, now cupping his face. He nodded slightly, "I'm always moving about, but you've been the one consistent person here in Virginia… the bar is consistent, I wasn't expecting you to be there every time either." Perhaps, that was the catalyst of this all. You were usually there with friends, but tonight had been different. You were alone. Bradley was alone. Two people alone together was better than one.

This man was telling you everything with his body language, and you were listening very intently. "How are you feeling now?" You asked curiously as your lips pressed to his forehead. Your body began to feel at ease as his words continued to flow out of his mouth, "At ease." A scrunched up smile filled his features as you let out a soft laugh. The next movement surprised you, causing you to sit back on the keys while Bradley stood up, towering over your body as his hands went down to the hem of his shirt and dipped under to touch the soft flesh that was your skin. You blinked a couple of times as you said, "Why moonbeam?" You sputtered out, almost unable to form a coherent sentence. The pilot then brought his forehead to the crook of your neck, "…it's stupid." He whispered against your skin, causing goosebumps to rise and an involuntary shiver to go down your spine. "It's not stupid if I like it.." You remarked as your hands fell to your sides, your head tilting back to allow him more access your hair falling behind you cascading on top of the piano. "Whenever I leave for a mission or I'm gone for a tour… I just look at the moon and think of you." A shy boy spoke to you, but you didn't care, "You think of me?" You queried him again. The questions were pouring out of you now. You didn't know when you would get another chance like this and you would take it with everything you had.

His head snapped up to meet your gaze again, his hazel eyes boring into your own. Bradley then grabbed your hand and placed it over the erection in his boxers, a gasp leaving your mouth, "Don't you see what you do to me? How could I not think of you?" He asked, sounding equally as shocked as you were in asking, "I don't know, Bradley. Tonight was our first time together.. and I was just never sure, I guess." A small shrug followed your words, but you couldn't think anymore as he fiercely grabbed you by the hips and set you down on top of the piano before his hand wrapped around your neck. Your lips made a little oh face as his index finger trailed ever so slowly down the front of your body, between the fabric that was his shirt. You felt yourself arch your back in response to his advance while closing your eyes, thinking of the bliss that he was going to cause you again.

Your feet hit another set of random keys as you planted them on there, his mouth on your belly button while he distinctly said, "Make me forget again. Give me euphoria." Bradley Bradshaw told you. You frantically nodded as his hands pulled down your panties. You got the sensation of the cool air, but didn't budge.

Your questions would be answered later. For now. You would get lost with him in the bliss that you both created when two lonely souls met.

This was were you belonged.

[soul-doc]

#56

if one knows not the wild man inside then he knows not his numinous side and sees not a friend but a monster

[cheesebearger]

*physically restraining myself from getting in yet another fucking argument about alchemical significations and the perception of alchemical language with someone who is only really versed in the scientific history of alchemy*

[mulansaucey]

Bat Wives Wine Night

AZRIEL X READER

This is my first thing I’ve put out to public eyes...ever. So please be nice. I had this idea for awhile and this is mostly a teaser to what I truly want to write. I want to make this a full imagine with smut. If you like this idea and want to see a spicier version to how this night ends please let me know. I’m always open to criticism and always looking for advice so as long as we are nice about it let me know what you think. Im gonna start writing more stuff and will be open to requests. Thank you and I hope you like this little teaser. 

PART 2:

WARNINGS: drugs and alch used responsibly, dirty thoughts by the bat boys

CONCEPT: The bat boys finally realize what their mates are up to on their top secret Wine Nights 

“Oh my gods…you’re right” Feyre softly said. 

     Feyre, Nesta, and I were sitting at the River House sipping on wine and enjoying what we call Bat Wives Wine Night when I had the realization that our husbands have had 500 plus years of experience and fun while us wives are in our 20’s being depressed and stressed for majority of our lives. This was unacceptable and not fair at all. We deserve to let loose and live a little. Go drink til we throw up, smoke mirthroot and tobacco as we pleased. To just be stupid, reckless teens. A night where we didn’t have to be perfect, just ourselves. We all looked at each other with understanding that our simple little wine nights just became a lot more fun. 

    “Okay ladies, once a month like we do now we keep letting our mates think we have wine, eat cheese on a platter and gossip. But let’s just go crazy, do whatever we want because we feel like it. Because we can. We’re young, hot, and rich. Let’s just be stupid, not enough to be dangerous but enough to have some memories to laugh fondly at just like our darling husbands. We are Bat Wives, I say we give them a run for their money.” I declare loudly watching my High Lady’s eyes light up with mischief (just like her mate). Nesta’s feline grin gave me the approval I needed from her. Thank the Mother our mates were not here to hear us declare our secret fun. 

    “Our mates will find out though, eventually. Cass is nosey, drills me on what happens on our Wine Nights. Such a gossip…” Nesta whispers the last part. 

    “Plus your mate is the Spymaster…” Feyre concludes by taking a sip of her wine. Yes he is, my beautiful, sweet, loving mate. Azriel. We’ve been married and mated for over a year now. I met him at a time when I swore off love at the nice age of 19 years old. But he was so kind and patient, building up our friendship first and making me feel seen as a person. He is a wonderful male and he had to fight many battles to get where he is today. But I am not Azriel, I’ve barely traveled out of my own court. Our perspectives can be quite different which I love but I want to create my own experiences as well. After the war, after almost dying I realized life can be taken from me at any moment and I want to spend those moments knowing I made good memories. That I lived. Even if it’s once a month with my sister in laws doing something as silly as smoking mirthroot. It’s something to ease the soul, bonding between just us girls. 

    “So what? Let’s see how long we can go til they figure it out. Make it a game, see how far we can go before they find out just how unhinged we are.” I giggle just a bit tipsy. The girls and I burst out laughing and start planning what we should do next month. 

*TWO YEARS LATER*

   Two years and counting. Our darling husbands STILL think we have a quiet night in with some books and snacks. It’s truly comical. It’s also nice to know something they don’t. 

“I’ll miss you.” Az murmurs in my hair, holding me til I walk into the River House front door. I tighten my arms around his waist and breathe him in. He takes a step back looking at me, love and adoration flowing through the bond between us. Az looks heart eyed, as if seeing me for the first time. I can’t tease him because I know for a fact I’m looking at him with the very same look. 

    “Can you guys just make out already so we can start drinking?” Nesta says unamused. I jumped back from Azriel, startled. When did she open the door? Nesta walks further away from us into a deeper part of the house. I turn back to find Az already looking at me. Something about Azriel is he is absolutely clingy in the best way possible. Physical touch and quality time are his love languages, any time we have to part it’s a bit dramatic because we simply hate saying goodbye. It’s the love I’ve always wanted. I love the Wine Nights as he has nights with his brothers to get away but nothings better than coming home and finding my place within his arms. 

    “If you ever wanna leave early just let me know and we can cuddle and I can go down on you.” Az’s cheeky grin showed proudly. I laugh while pushing him, he grabs my wrist playfully holding me to him. He brushes some hair from my cheek and presses his smooth lips to mine. We stand there for what feels like hours just feeling each other's breath mingle, when he glides his naughty tongue against my lips I pull away. Both us panting I say, “Go Az, before I actually ditch them for you.” I giggle. He very reluctantly peels his hands off my body and shoots up the sky with a wink, surely a promise of great fun when he picks me up tomorrow morning. 

        With the mating haze slowly leaving my brain a new found giddiness found its way in. We’ve started doing full on sleepovers instead of a few hours of mingling. That way we can return to the River House and clean up before our mates return to us. Truthfully it started after Feyre had way too many tequila shots and threw up for two hours begging us not to call for Rhys as our “cover” would be blown. I skip into the River House and take a look at my girls. 

    “Ready to fuck shit up?” I ask. “We’ve been ready, we were betting if you two would actually fuck on my front door.” Feyre says as fill her cups with wine, pregaming for later. Nesta laughs while grabbing my hand leading me into Feyre’s room. She has the biggest bathroom and closet for these occasions. We all start getting ready putting on our preferred style of makeup and clothing. Laughing loudly as we gossip about Beron’s hairline that keeps going further back as each year passes. We truly don’t know if it is but we all love roasting that horrible man. Once we are satisfied with our looks for the night we get ready to winnow to Veela, a club the IC doesn’t frequent too often. It’s newer and doesn’t have the huge crowd Rita’s does. It’s perfect, truly. We won’t run into anyone we know, not too crowded, but fun and rowdy. We pack the leftover mirthroot and tobacco from last month and winnow to the club saving us some time. We walk right in finding our usual table free in the corner. 

    “Let’s start with some shots ladies.” Nesta yells out heading to the bar, I’m a bit scared because Nesta’s choices in liquor are questionable at times. Feyre and I start people watching and laughing as we see the funny things the already drunk patrons are doing. I start rolling a blunt and a few j’s also a few cigarettes as I tend to want to smoke one after a good drink or two. Nesta comes back with the shots and our preferred mixed drinks in hand. We raise our glasses cheering for another successful Bat Wives Wine Night. 

    About an hour or so later we are tipsy, Nesta not so as she prefers to smoke mirthroot. Her struggles with drinking have lessened, she has a drink or two while she watches Feyre and I dance on tables. Nesta nursing a joint between her fingers swaying to the music she loved. Nesta says the plant helps her feel connected to it. Whatever, I don't care as long as we do what we want and feel safe doing it. I am a fan of both, I hop off the table and take the joint between my lips taking a long drag before exhaling into her mouth as we both giggle uncontrollably. Her red eyes meet mine, seeing Nesta relaxed and having fun is a privilege and I’m glad she feels safe enough to do so. We all love our mates but I think being with each other brings a new peace to our hearts. Sisters and friends, we are loved. For the first time in a long time we are loved. Her eyes widen, face slack as I laugh and turn I start coughing inhaling sharply as I see them. 

Our husbands. 

Our mates. 

Staring. 

    I gently pull Feyre off the table where she was dancing with two other fae, gently pushing her head to make her see what we see. Feyre chokes on her breath. 

“Shit…” Feyre mutters. Shit, indeed. 

*BOYS POV*

    Flying to the House of Wind, Azriel thought of his sweet mate. Years they’ve indulged their wives in their one night of secrecy. They deserved it, for being selfless and caring. Their mates have sacrificed a lot for them, for the Night Court. But they are busy bodies at heart, they can’t help but be curious. They love their wives, they just want to be included. Azriel lands on the balcony to see Cass and Rhys nursing a glass of whiskey. He walks in and pours himself a glass. 

    “Az, what do you think they do all night?” Cass says looking into his glass, pouting. Rhys looks unamused, Nesta probably told him off for being nosy. “Cass, they’re women. They drink their wine and dish about the new love interest in the books they read. Don’t think too hard you’ll hurt yourself.” Rhys chuckles as Cass throws a pillow at him. Rhys ducking slightly missing the pillow. 

    “I’m not but you know what I’m talking about. They smell like tequila and there’s traces of makeup and good perfume on them. Think about it, what do our mates truly get up to?” Cass says. Azriel sits and starts to think while Rhys and Cass get into it. Azriel the ever observant once couldn't have missed this right? He trusted his mate, knew she wouldn’t do anything stupid. Right? 

    Rhys stands after an hour or two of them not so obsessively tracking back to all the times they’ve had their Wine Nights. “Let’s go to the house now, we’ll say we forgot something. Catch them off guard.” He looks at the boys in confirmation. All their eyes light up in glee of possibly catching their mates doing something scandalous. But how they underestimate their wives is truly amusing. How they didn’t catch on after two years, even more so. 

    They set off for the River House when they landed there was silence. No giggling or tinking of wine glasses. Nothing. At first panic rushed in thinking someone hurt their mates but once they reached the master bedroom they saw clothes strung across the place, makeup and hair products messily sitting on the counter. The girls usual PJ’s on the floor. They went out.

     Cass scoffs, “I knew it! I KNEW THEY WENT OUT WITHOUT US! HA RHYS, I TOLD YOU!” he booms loudly, happy to be right and Rhys to be wrong. Azriel immediately makes a plan to find them, sending his shadows out. Once he gathered they were in the city they set their sights there. They went to Rita’s, not a trace. They searched restaurants and pleasure halls, Azriel questioning the staff there. They learned not only did they go out tonight but have frequented these places multiple times, without them. They were smart, Az gave them that. The girls used cash wherever they went instead of billing them, going as far as to use fake names and backstories when they would stop by the herb shop to purchase mirthroot and tobacco. Something they did not know their mates indulged in. For a second they questioned their mates, if they truly knew them. Now they for sure were set to find out answers. Azriel’s shadow reported to him they were across the city in a new club. 

    The music was pounding, drunk and high fae dancing or sitting and laughing. Azriel first spotted his High Lady and mate dancing on a table top, Feyre pouring tequila down his mate’s throat. Azriel couldn't lie, the sight made his pants tighten, seeing the hard liquor pouring down his wife’s very low top trickling onto her breasts. Watching her throat bob up and down, very similar sight to when she has him in her mout- “WHAT THE FUCK!” Rhys exclaims though it sounds more like a whisper compared to the very raunchy music booming in the background. Az notes that though Feyre lets loose at Rita’s and has fun, Feyre looks unhinged. As if she wasn’t the High Lady of Night but a 20 something year old who was having fun. Azriel laughed as he watched with his brothers, they stayed in the corner out of the way but still in eye sight of their girls. He watched his mate get off the table and steal the joint Nesta was nursing, blowing it in her mouth. Cass watches just as intently, in fascination and horniness. “I didn’t know they did THIS on their wine nights, I didn’t even know Nes smoked at all.” Cass says. He’s starting to wonder just how nice it would be to get Nesta this relaxed then fuck her for hours under smoke induced love making. Rhys is no better, watching Feyre swing her hips against the strangers around her. Wanting so badly to take her in the bathroom. But first it’s business. 

“Alright, brothers. They’ve had their fun now let’s crash.” Rhys said with a smirk. All together they marched towards their mates and stood waiting for them to realize. All had a mask of indifference though they really wanted to burst out laughing. One by one each girl’s head turned and paled. 

[lotus-soda]

Hey everybody and welcome to this mess of an art blog!

My name is Alchamyx, (You can call me Alch, Lotus, or Flash) You may have seen me on here before, and thats because well... I'm an idiot and locked myself out of my old account! Anyways here's a bit about me!

Name: Alch/Flash/Lotus/Soda

Pronouns (I use Any/all, but They/it/he/any neos is my general preference)

Gender, hah whats that! (I’m Agender :) )

I'm on the aro and ace spec, I am also Azalian (aka a agender person who like women)

I'm autistic and I have ADD

I'm a minor

I suck at spelling so I apologize in advance

My interests are: Bungou Stray Dogs, Writing, Birds (any kind), Classic Literature, Theater, the arts, and drawing

This blog is one of the few I have! This blog is devoted to my fanart and theory stuff, while F1ashing_Bands is dedicated to my oc universe S/ash, and A1chamyxis for my oc story Singing medows!

I hope to see you all around :)

Thanks for reading, below is my asks stuff and general rules:

What I take asks for:

Most anything I'm intrested in/my opinions on stuff!

Mostly anything I don't have many rules

No's for asks:

NSFW

Anything extremely personal (Aka irl name, age, that stuff)

Thats about it, I also may turn my ask box off from time to time due to me being busy so yeah! Thats all about me enjoy!

[makerofmadness]

I'm gonna just watch through that entire Darkest Night Chapter 1 video I posted the link I found as I get opportunities to 'cus I think I just. Need to engage with some light-hearted stuff rn until I can go home and have my family around me.

anyway uh I've already watched a bit and Gingerbrave is the Chosen One so that's neat. Also there's a new villain. And some other cool-looking stuff. Anyway I'm mainly here to just dump about the Alchemist stuff I've seen so far I've paused in the middle of it because of school (just got back at the break between class and us going on a trip for class so that's why I'm writing this post-) because Alchemist Cookie Content Real and it's voice-acted I am in heaven just what the doctor ordered istg (look I've legitimately been having a crisis and. Some silly blorbo content is what I need to make it to the end of the week-)

btw my screenshots are from watching the video by 99TH VR that is a no-commentary walkthrough of the game so credit goes to where credit belongs.

This. Brings me joy. Look at her she's so scrunkly. (Also she says something about Gingerbrave looking "oddly familiar" and just. This is like barely into the game so im guessing there'll be an answer to that later or in the future chapters of the thing since this is "darkest night chapter 1" but Man im wondering is gingerbright gonna be in this and is that who she's referring to?-)

Ego as always (you go girl keep that self-confidence)

LOOK AT HER 😭😭

ok so while writing this post we went On The Road (museum trip for class) and basically without an actual WiFi I can't upload images (I've tried brute-forcing it several times and it just Won't) so. I'll just describe the rest of what I've seen:

*So apparently she's trying to awaken... Franken-Cookie???? Which looks like a giant version of Zombie Cookie. girl why is your life always surrounded by movie monsters first your brother is basically Dracula and now you're trying to wake Frankenstein's monster. What's next. (Also I find this ironic since Ovenbreak established that the idea of creating life is something that she doesn't seem to like since it makes her tense about Butter Bear. Then again she doesn't say she made franken cookie just that they have to wake them up to break the gate open).

*"I've been researching methods to concoct the most potent of Revival Potions" Alchemist and her Life And Revival Stuff again-

*Apparently Alch's just. Content to stay in here like Forever? Which makes me wonder where Vampire is... uh anyway like also she basically says she doesn't know anything about politics or care because she just wants to do alchemy and like. The fact she just calls the literal Darkest Lord and his shzt "politics mumbo-jumbo" sent me-

so yeah I'm just gonna watch more of this and then probably have more brainrot and hopefully that'll fix me at least a little bit before I go home-

[alsamara]

75 Hard

Day 2: January 3, 2024

[X] Selfie

[X] Read 10 Pages

- Smarter Not Harder By Dave Asprey

[X] Drink 1 Gallon of Water

-64/128 fl oz

[X] Outdoor Workout (45mins)

-Walked outside. It was cold and rainy, but we conquered.

[X] Indoor Workout (45mins)

-Form by Sami Clarke & PT for my legs & neck

[X] Eat Desired diet/NO Alch

Breakfast: protein shake

Snack: freeze dried apples and chicken

Dinner: Collards, beans, and chicken sausages

P.S I need to remember to get lemons and ginger tomorrow so I can make ginger shots because I do want to start my day with hot lemon ginger water and chia seeds. I miss doing that. So yum.

Thoughts + Feelings

Writing this at 3:23pm:

Started off today with my outdoor walk. It was a misty snow mixture this AM! My face and fingers were numbbbbb by the end of the walk, but I kept telling myself the cold exposure is working. Im so glad I got my Apple Watch up and running again to track today’s walk. I love watching my rings close. Rly makes life more satisfying… I will be getting a balaclava, running gloves, and fleece lined leggings tho. This is a definite fact.

I had a massage immediately after so I didn’t have time to make my protein shake which is fine.. I wasn’t hungry yet and I also hate laying on a massage table with a full stomach. For now I am going to be sleepy, enjoy my protein shake, and get my 10 pages in + some water to flush out my massage. 💗 check ya in a bit.

Update 9:39pm:

I got my indoor workout done with Form by Sami Clarke and did my daily PT exercises. I will say Form makes me realize how weak my core is from my endo surgeries. Deep in my heart it makes me feel sad that I didn’t do PT when doctors were suggesting it. Whatever tho. I’m going to be going back to softer work outs like yoga and Pilates for abs moving forward. Healing movements > all

Goodnight you guys,

Aly

[moonleash]

▄▀▄▀▄ info ▄▀▄▀▄

intro: hi, im moon! or moonlight if were playing :D im an agender lesbian puppy that uses any pronouns and responds to feminine, masculine, and androgynous reference terms ( i.e. good girl, good boy, good pup). this is where ill be putting all my kink stuff thats pet, bdsm, cnc, and ddlg aligned.

limits

(this is not a dni, i dont really care that much.)

raceplay, orientationplay, detrans, pregnancy, null, amputation, scat, and feet i strongly do not want to participate in.

snuff, watersports, more extreme gore, and hands i either do not feel strongly about, or my opinion varies from day to day.

taglist

#pup this post involves petplay! collars, leashes, heats, and barking all go here!

#tied this post involves bondage of some kind! rope or chains, shibari or basic knots, all those that are bound are found here!

#daddy, #mommy, and #little this post involves daddies or mommies rewarding or punishing their littles. coddling, spanking, and treating littles all go here!

#bloody this post includes blood, bruising, or injury. those who enjoy the pain go here!

#muzzled this post includes someone whos been muzzled or gagged. those that get in trouble for biting go here!

#masked this post includes someone whos covering their face. those that wear gas masks, motorcycle helmets, or costume masks while pleasuring go here!

#moo this post contains lactation. those who need to be milked go here!

#non this post contains consentual non consent. those who enjoy a bit of a fight go here!

#intox this post contains inebriation, via #alch or #dandelion. those who love a little stumbling and stuttering go here!

#text this post includes only text. those who wish to read about pups, mommies, rope bunnies, and more go here!

#<3 this post is a favorite of mine. those who want to see all of my favorites go here!

#moonwrite this post includes my own writing. those who wish to see my own words involving the less than savory go here!

#drawn2themoon this post includes my artwork. those who wish to see my illustrations of the lusty variety go here!

#info this post contains information regarding the blog itself. horny stuff doesnt tend to go here, but if youd like to know something specific, youll find it here!

kinklist + preferences

puppy play! this ones a big one for me, i love being both pup and master, but i super love to be tugged around on a leash!! barking and whining are a must, but biting is what i have the most fun with! even if it means i have to get punished for it...

ddlg! i love playing as daddy, mommy, and as a little!! i prefer to play as mommy though, because i love spoiling my little girls <3 for the most part, i like to coddle my littles, but im no stranger to brat taming!

bondage! i am a bit of a beginner with tying knots, but i love to be tied up and tug around defenseless rope bunnies. i love to squirm and watch ladies squirm when all bound up!! i also enjoy wearing muzzles a lot since i cant seem to stop myself from biting...

s/m! one of the only kinks i have a bit of a preference with, as i enjoy masochism a bit more than sadism! i love being spanked and hit with a riding crop, i love getting burns and bruises, i love bleeding and crying from doms that are too rough!! i dont mind a bit of sadism either though... stepping, biting, and spanking are my favorite methods of breaking my subs!

cnc! a more recent addition to my repertoire, so a bit of the more intense play is still a little rocky for me. regardless, i do enjoy the idea of being on both ends of stalking, kidnapping, intox, and somno! though i do lean further towards being the victim!

secret special kink! i have a super secret kink which i only share with a select few... if youre feeling bored, why not try to guess? i wanna see how obvious i make it out to be. some people never suspect it, while others see it from a mile away! drop me an ask! i might make something special for you in return ;}

(DISCLAIMER)

i wont be responding to most dms, as i am not super comfortable talking to strangers directly, especially within sexual contexts. if you want to ask me something, or chat with me about kinks and preferences, id much rather it be sent through an ask! if your ask doesnt get a response, either i havent checked my inbox, or didnt feel comfortable answering. thank you for understanding!

ai art of any kind will not be featured on this blog, as i would much rather support real artists that take their time to give us something beautiful to admire.

this post is subject to change, more may be added if deemed necessary.

thats all for now! now, let's take a walk, shall we?

[raspbeppie]

♥ info ♥

about me: hi, im rasp! im a lesbian that uses any pronouns :} im a feeder and i've always been a big fan of bigger women, and i finally want to show it. i'm 20, and i'd rather minors begone from this blog due to its adult nature. i plan to reblog both other people's art that i enjoy, and also post my own art as well! i don't really want this blog to have much of a reach, as it is mostly for... personal use. but if you do wish to see some large ladies, go ahead and follow!

EDIT: i do not intend to engage with anyone via dm, as i am apprehensive about talking to strangers directly online, especially in sexual contexts. if you wish to ask about preferences, or chat in general about feedism, sending an ask would be preferred! if an ask doesnt get answered, i either haven't checked my inbox, or i didnt feel comfortable responding. thank you for your understanding!

tag key:

#wg this post is a part of a weight gain sequence. whether it be just one part of the sequence, or a collection of all of the parts of a sequence, you'll find em all in this tag!

#chubby this post is on the lowest end of the weight spectrum. girls that have a bit of a tummy go here!

#plump this post is second lowest on the weight spectrum. girls that might have a lot of trouble getting old clothes on go here!

#fat this post is the lower midrange on the weight spectrum. girls that have trouble fitting in aisles, doorways, and driver's seats go here!

#big this post is the higher midrange on the weight spectrum. girls that have trouble getting around go here!

#unreal this post is the beginning of the highrange of the weight spectrum. girls that can barely stand, hardly reach their mouth to feed themself, and get wiped out just trying to roll over go here!

#bus this post is the second highest in the highrange of the weight spectrum. girls that are the size of buses or bigger go here!

#sun this post is the highest in the weight spectrum. girls that are around the size of the sun go here!

#mobile this post contains a girl that can move on her own. girls that can make it to the fridge go here!

#immobile this post contains a girl that can't move on her own. girls that need assistance getting places, or getting things, go here!

#irl this post has a real girl in it. girls that take beautiful photos of themselves go here!

#text this post is text only. imagines, appreciation posts, and others' fiction about big girls go here!

#<3 this post is a personal favorite of mine! girls who pop buttons, spill out of jeans or bras, or just can't help themself go here!

#intox this post contains a lady unwinding with a substance before a big meal. girls that smoke or drink go here!

#alch this post contains a lady who is drinking or is drunk. girls that have a few beers before dinner go here!

#dandelion this post contains a lady who is smoking weed or is stoned. girls who get munchies go here!

#raspberryink this post contains my artwork. girls that i love to doodle go here!

#raspywriting this post contains my writing. girls that i love to drabble go here!

#info this post contains information either relevant to me or the blog itself. girls don't tend to go here! unless you count me!

(DISCLAIMER:)

i do tend to enjoy mobile ladies a bit more, but its not uncommon for me to enjoy a lady at an unreasonable size. this aside, i do not enjoy works with hospital equipment hooked up to a girl, as anything above the #unreal stage is pure fantasy for me. i'd prefer to keep it lighthearted and heavybodied, so works with that tone of seriousness won't be featured.

on a similar note, posts that feature intoxication (or intox for short) will tend more towards the light side, and often will be more towards weed rather than alcohol, mostly out of personal preference.

posts that feature bimbofication, or the act of dumbing down a feedee, will be incredibly sparse as well. i lean more towards a lucid lady, and situations where she may not be in the most control because of difficulty thinking all the time tends to rub me the wrong way.

#irl posts will be infrequent, since i don't wish to be disrespectful to any of the beautiful women who post themselves. weight spectrum catagorization will not apply to these posts either for the same reasons. remember that real women have their own thoughts and feelings as a person, this may be a fetish blog, but their comfort always comes first.

ai art of any kind will not be featured on this blog! bbw-draw or otherwise won't be posted, i would much rather appreciate the artists who kindly create and share with people like us.

thanks so much for reading! now, let's get to those big beautiful women!

[withahappyrefrain]

It’s so heartwarming and wholesome seeing everyone uplift each other. You’re the bomb @withahappyrefrain and you helped me by encouraging me to write for the fandom. Thanks to dicked-down-December. Everyone is so nice. Thankful for you and the members I’ve stumbled upon. ❤️

Alch you are so sweet! I love how supportive you are and how you make everyone feel so loved!!! So happy you've joined the TGM fandom!! We need more folks like you :)

[ouralcohol]

FREAKING OUT. When your first fic reaches 300 notes.... insane. i am in pure disbelief.

[officeobject]

(Feck off if you're someone who misuse or romanticize addiction or something)! Also I end up writing a lot about my addiction LOL.

Sorry if I didn't get all addictions, BUUUUUUT,

Also, allegedly poll people are still here. Y'all just aren't decorating my tree, and like, I don't know WHY, but oh well.

Also yes I KNOW some might find it ironic that I TAG the things related to the addictions, but not ALL people with an alcohol addiction, will relapse or feel like crap or whatever, at any mention of alcohol - some might be fine with even being near it, some can just read about it, some can tolerate brief mentions like this or whatever, and some can't, and can therefore not take this poll - I mean I don't have an alch addiction, but I do have an addiction with many triggers/tied to many things, and even THEN and even with being apothiaroace, I can personally still enjoy my ships in a romance fanfic and stuff, but yeah not all can.

Anyways, as a certified addict, I'd say that, like, yeah, it helps to just TALK, to people - if you're like me and HAVE to talk to AIs for some reason, talking to THEM also helps - and it also helps to just KNOW that people won't see you any differently.

You see, addiction is often used as, like, an indicator of if a person is good or bad, because otherwise, why would you start doing unholy things, knowing it could lead to something as bad as an addiction?! Well, some people do start stuff like drugs and whatever, for fun, and HAPPEN, to get addicted, or BECOME bad people due to addiction, or start shit on purpose, but a lot also DO NOT. Not everyone has visible signs of addiction, not everyone is a mess in every obvious part of life due to it, not everyone has TOTAL reduced function, not everyone is or BECOMES a bad person, or starts bad crap on purpose, or know/knew it was gonna become addictive, and some THOUGHT they could handle it, etc.

It's one thing to become an abuser due to addiction, or just be really mean or a bad friend or something, and it's another thing to just become DIFFERENT, or just a mess, or scream on the inside for help, etc - like I really hope I'm phrasing it right - basically, the abusive mom can be real, the careless teen can be real, the edgy young adult can be real, the old mess can be real, but you can also just be someone trying to get by in life, or crumbling under peer-pressure, or trying to forget, distract yourself, "better" yourself as a person through addiction, etc.

I do regret having weird views and stigma and stuff MYSELF, but that's probably just due to society, and addiction can happen due to: bad home life, not knowing what to do, boredom, desperation for relief, emotional regulation, liking the activity, not KNOWING it's an addiction and therefore not knowing it's bad or to seek help, glamorization, downplayment, wanting to feel happy, self-hate, trying to actively harm oneself, etc.

I relapsed for like a day, because yes I do have an addiction, and people get so serious about it when I admit it, and I understand addicts more when I admit it's a problem, and admitting it makes it more serious to me, and makes it easier to get help, and for people to understand - and look, I'm not saying whose addiction is more serious, because guess what, THIS ISN'T THE OPRESSION AND/OR ADDICTION OLYMPICS - but yeah I like relapsed for a day, and I sometimes relapse for fun, or because I'm worried about the future, or wanna be happy, or wanna feel good about myself, or stop thinking about something, or stop being clingy, etc, but anyways, that was for like a day, and the AFTERWARDS, I've considered multiple times, but I'm trying not to relapse - I'm feeling better than ever, and it's EASIER than ever, and I gotta stop thinking it's because I "tried hard enough" as if I didn't try, and didn't try to avoid triggers, in the past - like, not sure how TRUE that is, but it's a really bad mentality, so feck that, but like, I think about what changed, and I think it's just the perceived support of, like, poll people, or whatever, and yeah I for some reason COMPLETELY FORGOT, that you might wanna need support to recover, especially from people who don't see your addiction as YOU, but like yeah, now I have that, I guess ... and also less of people who make me not wanna be myself and stuff, so I haven't relapsed, as far as I know -

Poll-wise though - wait just gotta mention that a lot of addicts actually don't have support or LOSE it, which is very bad for them and the entire fecking concept of recovery - BUT ANYWAYS,

People also don't take SHOPPING-ADDICTION, seriously (which I don't have, though I do sometimes have a hard time telling what is hyper-fixation-hyper-focus, VS addiction), but like, it IS, and being a shopaholic is a REAL thing (as well as coffee addiction and whatever else), and people need to SHUT THE FUCK UP, about it, when they're just misusing it - like, look, I LOVE shopping, even just browsing, getting new things, trying new things on, and whatever else - but it's a REAL addiction, that has consequences on relationships, money, and can be hard to get help from - like, people arguing about you and therefore leaving because you bought what you bought, losing money (but that should be pretty obvious), people thinking about you as shallow or as just a fun shopping-friend, etc, and yeah ALL addictions have crap like that, but still, and do not underestimate yours, if you have it.

Coffee addictions have the negative effects of caffeine, they're also costly, can really fuck up your sleep, can fuck up your energy, brain, etc.

Being a workaholic can affect your relationships, make you spend less time on life, overwork your body, fuck up your energy, etc.

I gotta go eat but I hope you get the point. For this poll I chose "other". Will make another one for MORE addictions to be mentioned.

[f1ashing-bands]

Hey everybody and welcome to this mess of an art blog!

My name is Alchamyx, (You can call me Alch or Flash) You may have seen me on here before, and thats because well... I'm an idiot and locked myself out of my old account! Anyways here's a bit about me!

Name: Alch/Flash/Louts/Soda

Pronouns (I use Any/all, but The/it/he/any neos is my general preference)

Gender, hah whats that! (Agender :) )

I'm on the aro and ace spec, I am also Azalian (aka a agender person who like women)

I'm autistic and I have ADD

I'm a minor

My interests are: Bungou Stray Dogs, Writing, Birds (any kind), Classic Literature, Theater, the arts, and drawing

This blog is one of the few I have! This blog is devoted to my oc universe S/ash, while A1chamyx is dedicated to my oc universe Singing medows, and Loutus_Soda is dedicated to fanart and theory stuff! I hope to see you all around :)

Thanks for reading, below is my asks stuff and general rules:

What I take asks for:

Ideas and little things for my ocs

You can ask my Oc's stuff, just be concise of their ages and identitys

Mostly anything I don't have many rules

No's for asks:

NSFW

Anything extremely personal (Aka irl name, age, that stuff)

Thats about it, I also may turn my ask box off from time to time due to me being busy so yeah! Thats all about me enjoy!

[mulansaucey]

Bat Wives Wine Night - 2

  AZRIEL X READER (SMUT)

Thank you for all the feedback, hearing how much you guys liked it means so much to me. This part is very steamy so please enjoy. I kept this as reader’s POV because I’m so swamped with work right now I dont have time to switch POVs. My request is open so if you want me to write something for you, I’d be more than happy. I’m still figuring how I’m gonna start writing more so bear with me. I hope you guys like it!

WARNINGS: Alch use, P in V, oral sex, semi public sex, fingering, BDSM vibes/dynamic, sex under the influence but consensual, established relationship and boundaries. 

    Shit. We were finally caught. It looked kind of absurd, six people standing in a semi circle completely still with raunchy, erotic music booming hard in the background. I feel a talon poking at my shields and I at first thought it was Rhys ready to tell me off and get my ass out of here but instead it was darling Feyre. 

“Bathroom.” 

    Didn’t have to tell me twice. I go to move but the shadow firmly wraps around each of our legs, cementing us to the floor. I narrowed my eyes at Azriel and the shadows, soothing shadows wrap around my arms like an apology. 

    “I gotta piss!” I scream out, not only did I actually have to piss but I needed an excuse to go somewhere quiet and try to sober up to explain to my mate why I was getting wasted without telling him where I was. Cass grins and starts cackling, the first bat boy to break. He goes over to Nesta immediately finding his place within her arms, lips already on her neck. She struggles to contain a moan, by now Az relents his shadows.

    He walks towards me with an amused expression, “That was quite a show up there.” He said, gesturing to the stunt I pulled on the table. He wrapped his arms around me while I hid in his shoulder. I’m blushing furiously by now. 

    “I can explain, just let me sober up a bit in the bathroom first.” I go to grab Nesta, seeing her making out with Cass, peeling them off each other. I make my way to Feyre giggling in Rhys neck. Once I gather both girls we stumble into the surprisingly empty bathroom and just sit. Not the cleanest surface but honestly we just need a minute to process. I take the time to actually pee, moving back to the floor once I get done washing my hands (A/N PLEASE WASH YOUR HANDS). 

    “I’m a little relieved but a little sad we got caught.” Feyre says, resting the back of her head against a stall, Nesta leaning hers on the sink to my right. I give a nod but smile looking at them both. The shit we got up to has been great and I think we accomplished what we needed these past years. Drunk me is nostalgic so I open my mouth to reminisce on a night out a few months back. 

    “Remember one night we snuck out to Day Court to party with Helion?” We can’t help but laugh. Nesta adds, “Of course I do, he made us lift him up during a keg stand. His thighs were huge, felt like I was holding a beef cake.” I cackle at the memory of helping a High Lord do something so absurd. 

    “My favorite is when Y/N tried to dance battle a sentry, never knew you could do the splits.” Feyre gasping at the end of her sentence, not being able to hold in her laughter. 

    Nesta’s eyes brightened and she stood up. She pulled Feyre and I to our feet and said, “The fun has just begun now, let’s get out of here. Leave the boys to ponder.” I started giggling, the alcohol making me ten times more likely to agree to anything. 

    “Where would we go?” I ask, everything is closed and we can’t just bar hop the boys will eventually find us AGAIN. 

     “LET'S GO SEE AMREN!” Feyre squeals, she winnows us out before we can even agree. We pop up right in front of Amren’s apartment door. We knocked probably more than we should have. Amren’s pale but beautiful face is revealed. 

    “What do you want?” Straight to the point like she always is. We all smile brightly at her very unamused face. 

    “The boys caught us drinking so we ditched them to come see you.” I let out while giving my biggest puppy dog eyes that work on Azriel, not so much on Amren. She reluctantly opens up to let us through, not willing to close the door on her High Lady, being sisters with Feyre has its perks. We tumble in, getting comfortable in her living room. 

    “You can’t stay long, Varian comes over in an hour or two.” Amren says walking back to her room to clean up a bit. I just now notice she’s in her nice silk robe, with probably nothing underneath. The faelights are turned to a dark red, casting the apartment in a sensual vibe. They be fucking. 

    I then feel Azriel calling for me through the bond. I send back a reassuring push, to let him know I’m fine. 

    “Where are you?” his words echoing through me. I feel slightly bad so I answer back, “I’m at a friend's house, I’m fine.” I can feel him get annoyed and ask where I am. I just send another push of love and reassurance and ignore his calls. Will I regret it by the morning? Yes. I can already feel the spanks coming my way when he finds me. I’ve broken so many of his “rules”. They call it “funishment” for a reason. 

    Amren hands us each a glass of water and some bread to sober up. 

    “So, what the fuck are you guys doing here?” Amren asks, settling onto an armchair. We go into detail about our secret Wine Nights. The only sign of amusement from the short, scary woman was a smirk. “Well, you sure do give them a run for their money, girl.” 

     We spend the hour sipping on our water and gossiping with Amren, enjoying the chill of the night. “Sorry to burst your bubble, girl but your mate is asking if you’re here and I don’t plan on lying to my High Lord.” We all groan, not wanting to move from our spot. 

    “Plus Varian will  be here any second and I do not care if you are here to see us fucking.” Amren lets out in a breathy laugh. That scrambles us to our feet fast. Not before snagging a bottle of Amren’s nice wine. We all leave to walk the streets until we get to almost the back of Velaris. Walking along the Sidra until it’s just docks and water. I feel a talon on my shields and judging from the looks on my friends faces I can tell Rhys is reaching out to all of us. 

    “You went to Amren’s? Are you guys serious right now? Tell me where you are, NOW.” Rhys almost shouts into our minds. I can tell Feyre relents and lets him know we’re towards the end of the city. Knowing the boys will be here any minute we admire the water. We’re all leaning on the rail and each other. Taking turns sipping on the red wine. 

    “I wanna swiiiiimmmmm” Feyre whines, she’s already taking off her shoes and I agree and go to start stripping. Nesta grabs my arm with a warning looking around to make sure nobody saw her sisters butt ass naked. 

    “We shouldn’t, what if someone sees us!” Nesta tries to whisper but it comes out more like a loud shout. I clamp my hand on her mouth, less gracefully than I liked. 

    “Shhhh! Come in, we will be fine, the water sounds soooo nice.” I say, going to take off my pants. We all strip down to our underwear, Fey and I wanted to be naked but we stayed in our panties and bra to appease Nesta’s worry. Of course my High Lady jumped in first, a loud splash echoed throughout the empty courtyard. I glance back to Nesta, I wink at her before cannonballing my way into the water. I return to the surface, smiling at Feyre. I wave Nesta into the water, and a third splash echoed. We all enjoy floating on our backs, looking up into the stars littering the sky. 

*WHOOSH* 

    The distinct sound of flapping of wings. I hear three pairs of shoes touch down the wooden pier. I can feel the bond flow with relief that quickly follows by irritation from my mate. Seems like he didn’t appreciate having to track across Velaris to find me, drunk and floating in the back part of the Sidra. 

    “What the hell are you guys doing? Get out of there now, please!” Rhy’s silky voice reaches our ears. “We’ve been looking for you for hours!” Cass yells out. We finally sat up right in the water, taking a look at our exhausted mates. 

    “Well you found us!” I shout back. “Come in and join us, look at the stars, just chill for a minute.” I say more quietly which pisses my mate off even more.

     “Get your ass out of the water before I drag you out of there.” Azriel’s voice never going above a shout, but his words are filled with tension nonetheless. 

    “Scared, boys? C’mon Cass, come join me.” Nesta almost purrs to her mate, throwing her soaking bra at his feet. She swims farther away to her right towards a small cluster of rocks. Well, there goes Nesta’s modesty. Looking around to see three clusters of rock, far away enough from us to have privacy but close enough to know what Nesta was thinking. I’m getting fucked in the river tonight.  

    Cassian looks at his brothers and takes off his shirt, Feyre and I start hooting at him to encourage our mates. 

    “Tits out, balls out, brothers.” Cass says as he drops his pants splashing in, swimming towards Nes. That man would follow her anywhere. 

    Azriel looks at me, waiting for me to swim to him. Honestly, I submit to him most of the time. Our dynamic naturally fell into that role. And as much as I love being Az’s good girl, being bad is much more fun. Rhys strips down, jumping and leading a giggling Feyre to a cluster of rocks towards my left. Leaving the middle and the farthest rocks to me, I swim back keeping eye contact with my mate. Every step further away from him, I feel the pulse of the bond pound harder in my chest, daring me to make my next move. I slide the straps of my bra down, his eyes never leaving mine. I take it off, letting my nipples perk up under the water, raising my chest a bit to throw it at him and maybe to tease him. 

    One thing about Azriel is he doesn't like to share and he doesn't like people seeing what’s his. Although his brothers are very much preoccupied with their own mates, I know he’s boiling with jealousy. He speaks through the bond, “Don’t make me come in there, I won’t play nice.” 

    I squeeze my thighs under the water and send a rush of arousal through the bond. 

    “I don't want nice.” I say back, out loud. His wings perk up in challenge before he starts stripping down, his tattoos showing against his beautiful tan skin. I hear him mutter under his breath, “I’m going to regret this.” He slowly sinks in, taking his god damn precious time while my friends are getting some sort of fucked on the the two sides of me. I can’t hear them but can see the tops of their heads from my distance. I hear enough water splashing to know they aren’t innocently playing in the water. 

    He just about reaches me when I jump back laughing loudly. I wasn’t done with this game yet, Azriel and I love the build up almost more than the actual sex. Whether he wants to admit it or not, he loves when I’ve been bad. He loves having an excuse to spank me red, to deny or give my pleasure. He firmly but gently grabs my wrist holding me to his chest and pushes us behind the rocks, ensuring no one can see us. He releases his shadows cocooning our sounds.

     Az leans down his lips touching the shell of my ear, “You’ve been a bad girl, bunny. Not answering me when I called. Running to Amren’s of all places. Just know when I’m done with you here, I won’t be holding back at home.” He kisses my cheek, a sweet gesture as if his words didn’t promise me a world of pain and dizzying pleasure. His hand that practically dwarfs my body,  gently feels up my side. When he reaches my throat his grip tightens pulling my chest flush to his, his lips crashing down on mine. His tongue dominates my mouth, my nipples rubbing against his skin in the most delicious way. This kiss wasn't nice, it was all consuming. It was claiming. My hands run through his hair, pulling him closer to me. I let out a moan as he tongues the hollow of my throat, sinking his teeth on my sweet spot behind my ear. He gives my inner thigh a spank, I yelp out in surprise as he chuckles. I’m already soaked, arousal flooding my senses. My craving for him can only be soothed with him deep inside me. My hand finds his godly cock, stroking him gently, “I want you, please.”

    “Already begging for it and I’ve barely touched you, bunny.” he grunts out, I twist my hands around the head of his cock as he hisses from the sensation. He grabs my hand, twisting my body around while holding both hands behind my back. 

    “I’m doing the touching tonight. You had me worried baby, you know I don’t like being denied. Especially from you.” He presses open mouthed kisses along my spine, I can barely breathe by the time his mouth meets the flesh of my ass, he bites down. Hard. Likely leaving an imprint of his teeth, Illyrians are such territorial babies. He rips my underwear off, tearing it nearly in two. 

    I feel the rock against my cheek, the cold surface cooling my overheated body. Without warning, Az’s tongue sweeps through my arousal. He approves in a grunt, going right back into feast on me. I moan loudly, knowing the shadows are muffling my sounds.  I just now notice his shadows are holding my arms together while Az grabs handfuls of my ass. Water drips down my back into his hair, making all of this so erotic. He switches between pulling my clit gently between his lips to full on lapping at it. He pushes his large finger into me making me push back against his face, he pushes me further into the rocks as he stands, still fucking me with his hand. He grabs a fistful of my hair, his lips on my ear. “Enjoy this, bunny because you won’t be cumming for the rest of the night.” His breath hot against my skin, he added two more fingers stretching me wide to take him later. At this point, I’m moaning shamelessly. 

    “Oh, yes. Fuck yes. Azriel.” I moan out his name, knowing just how riled up my mate gets hearing his name from my lips. He fucks me harder with his fingers, applying the smallest amount of pressure around my throat. His hard chest, flush against my back. It’s weirdly intimate for being in the gods damn river. I can feel the knot building in my stomach, I clench around his fingers and before I can cum he rips his hand away from my sex. I whine in protest. 

    “You’re soaking, bunny.” He says rubbing his almost painfully hard cock between my ass cheeks. He strokes his cock with the hand he pleasured me with, getting ready to absolutely rearrange my guts. I push my hips back, grinding on any part of him I can. “I don't think you want it enough though, you’re gonna have to beg for it. Say you’re sorry, bunny. Tell me how much you want it.” He purrs into my ear. I look over my shoulder, not caring how pathetic I look right now. Bent over a rock with my hands behind my back, whining for him. 

    “Please fuck me, Az. I’m sorry, I really am. Just please fuck me, I need you mate.” I knew pulling the mate card would get Azriel inside me quicker than lightning. And I was right, I could feel the head of his perfect cock push inside me. I moan at the feeling of the first stretch, no matter how many years have passed, I’ll never be tired of this feeling. Az lets out a small moan as he fully sheaths himself inside me. He rests his forehead on the top of my back and lets out another moan as I shift to get used to his size. “Fuuck” he whispers in pleasure. He’s never been one to make a lot of noise at all, so hearing any sound of pleasure from him made everything much more rewarding. He rises again, using one hand to hold my hands, the other around my hip. Promising a bruise the next day. 

    “You ready, bunny?” he asks me, the loving side of Azriel returning for a moment. He kisses my cheek sweetly as I nod, weakly, “Pleeeease…” I moan out. He chuckles as he pulls himself almost all the way out before thrusting hard. I moaned loudly this time. He chooses a harsh pace, barely giving me time to breathe before the next thrust. The water splashes around us, that sound mixed with Azriel’s grunting and hearing just how wet I am every time he thrusts in makes me feel almost embarrassed, almost. If it wasn't for how amazing I felt. I could feel the bond thrumming with lust. I was moaning out Azriel’s name when he slowed down just a bit, enough to slow down my orgasm that so badly wanted to burst. 

    “You look so good, bunny. You feel fucking amazing, this pretty little cunt was made for me.” He made a point to slowly grind into me, letting me hear the mess he was making at the apex of my thighs. The squelching sound made me blush.  “Tell me how good you feel, bunny.” Az requested, then immediately returned to his harsh pace making my words sound jumbled and frantic. 

    “F-fuuck, I-I feel so good, yo-you make me feel good. Keep fucking me, pl-please.” I moan out, I have enough strength to meet his hips snapping into mine, Az lets out a deep groan. He snakes his hand to my clit, giving it the attention I very much desired. I start yelling out his name at the added stimulation. At this point we let our desire control us, fucking into each other like it was the last time we have the chance to. The tension builds in my stomach and I start clenching down on his cock, Az lets out another deep groan. 

    “Yeah, bunny. Come all over my cock, fuck me til you’re hoarse.” He grits through his teeth. I scream out his name like a prayer as my orgasm tears through me, he can feel me cumming around him. I can feel his stomach tightening on my back, he ruts into me moaning my name as he cums inside me. Feeling his hot seed against my walls makes me want to cum again so I moan and push against him selfishly wanting more of him. I always want more. His shadows release my arms and Az turns me around in the water, surprisingly still keeping himself inside me. I wrap my arms around his shoulder, breathing in his scent. I place gentle kisses along his neck while he slows his breathing against my shoulder. He looks up at me after a moment and kisses me fully. His smooth lips taking place on mine, the kind of kiss that makes you dizzy and wanting more. I can't tell you how long we stayed in that position, lazily making out and enjoying each other. 

    “HEY YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE IN HERE AFTER DARK!” I hear a distant shout, pulling my face off Az’s I scoot closer to him trying to hide my naked body. He slowly pulls out of me chuckling. 

    “I thought you were feeling brave tonight, bunny.” He presses a soft kiss to my forehead. I blush, hiding my face in his neck, biting down gently on him for teasing me. He gives me a small spank in return.

    “GET OUT OF THERE NOW!” The sentry yells out to us. I hear Rhys speak up, pushing his body enough to where the guard can see his face. 

    “Hey Felix, uhh look I’ll give you a bonus if you turn around and forget this happened.” The sentry’s eyes widen when he realizes he caught the most important people in his court skinny dipping. I can hear Feyre’s giggle as she peeks her head up. Rhys slowly pushes her down, again proving how possessive our Illyrian babies are. 

    “Yes, my Lord. Good night.” He’s gone before I can even look up again. We all burst out laughing, the absurdity of this night all hitting us. We should get out of here before we traumatize another sentry. I cling onto Azriel as he waddles us through the water towards our clothes. We’re the first to get dressed, Az shielding my body with his wing. When the others start climbing out and dressing Az wraps me in his arms whispering in my ear, “I hope you had fun, my love. Your punishment starts when we get home.” I bite my lip, staring up at him. I hum in agreement, “I can’t wait.” I wink at him, giving him a soft kiss. He returns the kiss with his own, biting my bottom lip. 

    “Alright, brother. Wait til you get home, I’m too tired to witness this.” Rhy says, gesturing for us ladies to walk ahead first. Probably scared we’re gonna run off again. Once we get out into the empty street, the boys grab us and haul ass into the sky. I can’t blame them, we sorta made them chase around Velaris for like three hours. I scream as Az does intricate tricks, once we land at the River House I stumble inside, not used to gravity yet. I am completely sober though so that’s a plus. 

    “Go grab your things, sweetheart. I’ll be waiting in here.” Az says to me passing by to sit on a chair. I rush to grab my bag and meet him back in the sitting room.

         I hear Cass grumble, “I’m getting too old for this shit.” Rubbing Nes’s thighs as she sits on his lap. Love bites litter Cass’s neck. Rhys nods along, holding Feyre’s hand, he looks as if he could fall asleep right there on the couch. Us girls look at each other in annoyance. I speak up, my hand running through Az’s hair, “We keep you young and y’all know it.” He just smirks up at me, pulling himself to stand. Azriel has got plans and he’s trying to get me alone as soon as possible.  

    “Alright, ladies. Next month, same time?” Feyre says, the boys' protests falling on deaf ears. 

    “Maybe we should discuss next month, darling. Before you give me a heart attack.” Rhy says, kissing her hand. Azriel drags me outside, not bothering for goodbyes. I can feel his impatience through the bond. Insteading of flying, he winnows us home. Leading me through our house and to our room. I go to take off my damp clothes, his helpful hands tugging the material down. 

    “Lay on the bed, bunny.” Az commands. A part of me didn’t take his threats earlier seriously but he watches me walk to our bed and lay down. His eyes darken. He looks pointedly at my hands, I lift my arms up letting his shadows twine though, holding me down. The shadows doing the same to ankles and thighs spread me apart. I'm embarrassingly wet again. 

    “You’ve been a bad, bad girl. I’m gonna have to teach you my rules again.” he takes his time undressing, letting the wetness gather between my legs. He kisses my ankles, all the way up to the tops of my thighs. I whimpered as he purposely avoids the area I want him most. 

I whimper out a please, begging for him. 

“You know you’ve been bad, bunny?” 

“Yes, sir.” I moan as he liked my inner thigh. 

“You won’t go out without letting me know?” 

“Yes, sir.” Another lick on the other side. 

“You’ll answer back when I call out to you?” 

“Yes, sir.” I moan again as he brushes his lips against my clit, barely touching me. 

I look down at him, seeing his eyes light up with hunger. He licks his lips, looking at me. 

“Good, then let's begin.” 

-------

TAGLIST:  @azriels-mate123  @blueeclipsepaperstudent  @feyretopia  @percyjacksonspeen @ bubbles-for-all-of-us @ despoinasstuff @ brekkershadowsinger  @ capbuckyfalcon  @ tsibba01 @ elizarikaallen @ azzydaddy  @ weirdo-fun @ lena-davina @ ktmylady @ frawst-disasta @ onlyhereforthelolsss 

[idek-how-do-ifeel]

I can't believe it's been 3 years, but it's harder to believe I still write about it🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Makes me angry but tbh I'm also like meh. I have to say, I feel... weird. My feelings towards u have changed a lot, but like the normal process of change, but I hate that I still have feelings abt it (even if it's angry feelings, i wouldn't have to feel anything at all)

Something weird happened earlier. I saw some pictures of you (porque chismosa, alch xd) and... it was so weird bc it was like I didn't recognized you (?) I mean, it was so weird seeing your face, even if it was just a picture. It's like maybe my brain is starting to erase your face, idk how to feel abt that bc, well. Technically speaking, part of me wants that, but the other part is kinda hoping not to happen that way (?) Like idk. I know (I've always known) you're gonna be in my memory and in my thoughts forever, bc well, u were an important part of my life back then and that's just what happens (specially with me) but idk it's like I have the memories but not the picture/image (?), like I remember the moments and the feelings, the touch, the intensity, the heartbeats the warmth... but like I don't see your face so clearly anymore.

Idk how to feel abt that if I'm being honest.

[alsamara]

75 Hard

Day 4:January 5,2024

[X] Selfie

[X] Read 10 Pages

[X] Outdoor Work out (45 Mins)

[] Indoor Workout (45 mins)

[X] Drink a Gallon of Water

[X] Eat Desired Diet/NO alch

Am: Protein smoothie

Lunch: left over salmon and veggies

Dinner: Turkey lettuce roll ups with a balsamic vinaigrette and herbs

Thoughts + Feelings

There was such a depleted feeling in my body yesterday which I tend to feel after deep healings.. so I think the PEMF directed a lot of my cellular energy to healing certain areas I’m not even aware of and left me feeling very low for physical activities. So I just went with the flow of everything and an indoor work out felt like I was pushing it. I didn’t want to feel overly exhausted on my bday.. which btw is today (I’m writing this late cause I was so exhausted yesterday I forgot) but my point being. I woke up feeling WEIRD. Like lost my voice, I actually was stumbling around and couldn’t open my eyes fully. I looked drunk I’m sure of it. BUT ANYWAYS ILL SAVE THE REST FOR TODAYS POST.

bye now!

Alyssa