#Chanyeol scenario

[baekhyunsbestie]

18+/mdni | chanyeol x f!reader ⤷ ib: my twinny 🐼 anonie <3

you don’t even know what you’ve done to him.

the second chanyeol's fingers sink into you for the first time—slow, deliberate, knuckle-deep—he’s already a fucking goner. not just because of how tight you squeeze around him, like your body was built to take him, but because of the way you react. the way your legs twitch, the way your lips part in a gasp, the way your back arches like he’s just hit every nerve at once. all from his hands.

his hands that usually command instruments, strumming and drumming and shaping melodies—now playing you like his newest, favorite masterpiece. and you, so beautifully wrecked beneath him, are following every note.

"fuck, baby," he groans, breath hitching as his fingers slide in deeper, curling just right. your walls flutter around him, sucking him in, slick gushing over his knuckles like you can’t help it. and fuck, you can’t—you’re too full, too overwhelmed, and chanyeol watches, completely enthralled, as your body chases his touch. hips rolling, thighs trembling, your own breath stuttering between whimpers.

"so needy," he murmurs, leaning in, his lips barely grazing your jaw as his free hand pushes your knee open wider. "so greedy for my fingers, huh? look at you fuckin' drippin' for me."

your head rolls back against the pillows, a choked whimper leaving you as his thumb finds your clit, pressing down in lazy, teasing circles. he watches, fascinated, as your expression twists—your brows furrowing, lips trembling, body tensing against the pleasure.

"ch-chanyeolie, please—"

please. his cock twitches hard at the sound of it, his name on your lips all desperate and ruined. but just as he’s about to tease you, just as he’s about to tell you how fucking pretty you sound, his eyes catch something.

and it knocks the air right out of his lungs.

his tattoo.

right there, just below the sheen of your release—his LOEY ink, smeared and glistening with your cum. and something in him snaps. his breath shudders, pupils blown so wide his irises nearly disappear. his fingers twitch inside you, pulling back just enough to watch the way you drip over them, how easily you coat his skin in your essence.

"fuck—look what you fuckin' did." his voice is rough, nearly guttural as he pulls his hand back, tilting it in the dim light. your arousal clings to the ink like a mark, like a brand, like proof of his skill. his claim on you.

but more than that—yours on him.

"shit, baby," he groans, eyes flickering between his fingers and your dazed expression. "made a fuckin' mess on me. made me yours without even trying."

before you can even think to respond, he brings his fingers to his mouth, sliding them between his lips with a low, drawn-out moan. his tongue swirls around them, slow and deliberate, tasting every drop of you before pulling them out with a wet pop.

"so fuckin' sweet," he murmurs, more to himself than to you. his voice is deeper now, raspier, like he's barely holding himself together. "this pussy owns me now. and you’re gonna prove it again—on my face this time."

you don’t even get a chance to process before he’s dragging you down the bed, flipping you open like a goddamn meal. his broad hands slip under your thighs, pushing them up and apart before locking them over his shoulders.

"keep your eyes on me, pretty," he rasps, before his mouth crashes into your core.

your world shatters.

his tongue works you over with a hunger that borders on fucking desperate, alternating between long, slow drags and fast, teasing flicks. the first time his lips wrap around your clit, sucking with a wet, obscene sound, your entire body jolts—your hands flying to his hair, tugging at the strands as you let out a broken cry.

but chanyeol just moans, low and satisfied, and buries himself fucking deeper.

his fingers slip back inside, fucking into you rougher, wetter, faster, his tongue flicking filthy patterns over your swollen, aching clit until you’re gasping, moaning, making sounds you didn’t even know you could make.

"fuck—yeolie—i can’t—"

"you can," his voice is muffled against you, his grip on your thighs tightening. "and you fucking will. i want you all over me, pretty. coat my tongue, make me wear you—give it to me."

you don’t even get a chance to think—you just break, back arching, a scream ripping from your throat as you unravel against his tongue.

he doesn’t stop.

he doesn’t fucking stop.

he licks you thru it, eyes hooded, watching in awe as your body writhes under him. his hands keep you open, locked in place, his mouth still dragging over your overstimulated clit like he’s trying to memorize the way you taste.

and all you can do is whimper, gasping for air as your legs twitch in his grip.

he finally pulls back, lips and chin glistening, eyes wild as he stares at you.

"fuck," he pants, giving your inner thigh a soft, teasing bite. "you're never getting this off of me. my hands, my mouth—my entire fucking soul belongs to this pussy now."

and god help you—bc you believe him.

[justwritedreams]

Hypnotic | Chanyeol

Chanyeol x Reader, bffs to lovers au! Word count: 2469 Genre: smut Author: maari  Warnings: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!! Sex without condom (don't do this at home), fingering and oral (f receiving), sex in the pool, big dick energy, we have a tiny voyeurism. This is pure filthy. Note: I swear I'm trying to improve my smuts, they look so much better in my head lol and also, you guys were reading my mind because I've been wanting to write the sequel for a while. Can be read as a standalone but of course I'm gonna recommend you to read the part 1. Request: so a few months back I requested a Chanyeol fic with a innocent reader and I was hoping if you could make a part two to it the fic is call sexual fantasy’s ⫷ Exo Masterlist

<< Previous

Chanyeol and Y/N ran their hands over each other's bodies truthfully, while she took the opportunity to scratch his back covered by the long-sleeved shirt he was wearing, Chanyeol had his torso pressed against hers on the mattress and his indecisive hands took turns between grab the back of her head or chin.

Their kiss was desperate and quick, as if the world was about to end and they only had that moment for their hungry lips to meet and at the same time, to make up for lost time.

They couldn't waste a single minute.

Y/N felt her lips numb, she had no idea how long they had been there savoring each other's taste but she didn't want to stop, and Chanyeol felt the air running out of his lungs but all he did was press his body even more against her.

The atmosphere in the room was hot, that was exactly how they both felt, as if they were in a fire and everything seemed to explode quickly when Y/N's bold hands invaded inside his shirt, caressing and scratching his hot skin.

It was enough for Chanyeol to break the kiss by biting her bottom lip eagerly, pulling towards him in a way that made her hiss, he pulled away when he released her lip and pressed their foreheads together, his panting breath hitting Y/'s face, who only opened her eyes to let herself be mesmerized by the image of Chanyeol so close to her.

“Naughty.” he laughed softly, making her entire body shiver.

“Still think I’m innocent?” she asked, breathless.

She saw him open his eyes and raise his eyebrow.

“I don’t know, I’m still confused.” Y/N narrowed her eyes and before she could retort his large hand found her soaked panties, the only response she could give was rolling her eyes before closing them and swallowing a moan.

She felt her entire face heat up and lost the image of Chanyeol smiling dirtily at her.It was impossible to control the force as her body brushed against his palm. He was touching her in the most superficial way and yet he already had her completely in his hand, literally.

But all that bubble of excitement for what was to come was interrupted by the ringing of Chanyeol's phone, she opened her eyes at the same moment and looked pleadingly at him, who just continued smiling and took his phone out of his pocket with his other hand, answering it.

"Hey." He managed to keep his voice at a normal tone but Y/N had to bring both hands to her mouth to muffle the sound of her moaning when he stuck two fingers inside her. "What am I doing?" His eyes had a gleam of amusement and Y/N pressed her lips together when he began to move his fingers slowly inside her. “Taking care of a really bad girl.” She opened her eyes wide and he winked at her, then laughed while still moving his fingers inside her hot, wet flesh. “Of course it’s Zzar I’m talking about, Sehun-ah.”

Y/N felt her whole face heat up with embarrassment as her legs shook and she wriggled her toes, Chanyeol had long fingers that were reaching a spot she wanted but without increasing the speed, it bordered on torture.

It was the perfect punishment.

"What now?" he stopped moving his fingers and Y/N complained softly, watching him carefully. Chanyeol took a deep breath. “Okay, I’ll be right there.”

He removed his fingers from her and Y/N felt a gigantic cold, as well as frustration, as soon as he turned off the phone she took her hands away from her mouth. She was breathing so heavily that she drew his eyes to her.

"What?" Y/N's voice came out with no strength and practically no sound.

“I'm going to have to go to the studio.” he said angrily.

"Now?" she spoke a little louder, in disbelief, resting her elbows on the bed.

He smirked and got up from the bed, adjusting his pants, Y/N's eyes focused on the visible erection and she felt her mouth water.

Chanyeol walked over to her and bent down so he could speak close to her ear, which gave her goosebumps before his voice even came out.

“Don’t you dare leave, we still have a lot to do.”

Y/N felt a shiver run down her spine and bit her lip to contain her wide smile, she looked at him and nodded. Even if she wanted to leave, she didn't have the strength in her legs to do so.

She didn't need any other promise from Chanyeol, because as soon as he left the room, he stopped at the door and took the fingers that were previously inside her to his mouth, savoring what he had collected and let out a loud grunt that caused Y/N's panties to become even wetter and rub against her legs to create some kind of friction.

Torture would be waiting for him to come back because even though she could use her own fingers again, she knew it wouldn't be enough.

[...]

Y/N felt anxiety take over her body, she was sweating cold but her body felt warm. How was that possible?

The panties were still wet and even though it had only been an hour since Chanyeol had left, it felt like an eternity, she looked like she would climb the walls at any moment. She needed his fingers again to finish what she had started, she needed more than that actually. A lot more.

When she heard the door of the house open, she ran over there, seemed completely desperate? Yes, but she didn't care.

Chanyeol entered and as soon as he saw her anxiously in front of him, he smiled, closing the door and locking it again.

Although she wanted to ask something naughty or directly if they were going to finish what they had started soon because the soaked pussy was starting to frustrate her, she couldn't. Not when his eyes seemed focused on her like prey.

"Come with me." he said and grabbed her hand before dropping his keys and phone haphazardly on the couch.

Y/N let herself be led to the back of the house and frowned when he took her to the edge of the pool, but she became even more confused when he started taking off his clothes right there.

Not that she would complain, but she was curious to know what was going on in his mind.

Chanyeol was left in just his underwear and was practically eaten by Y/N's watchful eyes. She had seen photos of him without a shirt before, the same ones that the entire internet had seen, but in person it was much better.

All she wanted was to scratch his broad shoulders.

“Are you just going to watch?” he raised an eyebrow when he saw her biting her lip hard and she looked at him. “Won’t you want to come in?”

He entered the pool and purposely moaned when the cold water dominated his body. He continued looking at her as he moved away from the edge, he wanted to find some sign of giving up but he didn't see it in her eyes.

Quite the opposite in fact, Y/N smiled lightly and took off Chanyeol's hoodie in one quick movement, her body shivered from the low temperature of the night and also from the way Chanyeol observed her body from top to bottom, he looked as mesmerized as she was.

And Y/N wasn't going to lie, it was making her feel powerful.

Y/N's underwear, although simple, was also delicate, in a pastel tone she looked really innocent. She entered the pool so slowly and without taking her eyes off him that Chanyeol couldn't take his attention away from her.

However, as soon as she approached him, all that slow provocation evaporated into thin air when he pulled her by the waist so they could start a quick and desperate kiss, her hands automatically went to his shoulders, the kiss was eager and almost sloppy. Tongues and tastes mixed as if they wanted to be one.

Chanyeol's hands pressed on Y/N's waist, who understood the message and wrapped her legs around his waist, unable to contain herself, she began to rub her hips against his while Chanyeol walked to the edge so he could lean her there.

There wasn't a single part of their bodies that weren't touching and even that wasn't enough, the heavy breathing and stolen air wasn't a concern for either of them.

Chanyeol broke the kiss and before Y/N could start a new one, he lifted her by the waist until she sat on the edge, feeling the excitement in her belly and knowing what she would see next, she just let him pull her panties away with his hand.

Without wasting time, he eagerly brought his mouth to her pussy, Y/N just sighed softly as she grabbed his hair and closed her eyes, feeling his tongue deftly roam the entire length of her flesh.

He sucked her greedily, his tongue pressed on the right spots and Y/N felt her strength drain away with each lick of him, all she could do was plead in a suffering whisper while she pulled his hair.

But he had no intention of stopping, so he placed his hand on her navel and made her lie down on the floor, put her legs over his shoulder and went back to eating her with the insatiable hunger he felt for her.

Y/N felt her body tremble and heat up at the same time, the sensation he was taking to her lower abdomen was so delicious that she had nothing to do but beg him to go faster, her heart was beating hard and she felt that could cum at any minute.

However, Chanyeol didn't want to end her pleasure so quickly, this was just the beginning, there was no need to rush it. That's why he alternated the speed of his tongue, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.

Her moans and the sound her wet pussy made every time his tongue licked her were music to his ears, and even though his cock was pulsing to be inside her, he didn't want to stop.

Y/N moaned a little louder when she felt his fingers enter her pussy while his tongue lingered on her clit, she felt like she was about to explode and pressed her thighs against his face.

It all became too much for her to handle the moment he spoke against her pussy.

“Cum in my mouth, baby girl.”

It was enough for her to come undone and obey him, cumming violently while moaning for a long time.

"Good girl." he spoke as he drank every drop of her pleasure, causing her body's involuntary spasms to only increase.

Y/N took a deep breath, without strength in her legs and looked at him as he took his face from between her legs, licking his lips, he had a lust on his face that made her pussy throb even more.

He got out of the pool, wet and with his erection visible, after putting her panties in place and Y/N considered sucking him right there, but he held out his hand so she could get up and she did.

Without having anything to say, they kissed again, Y/N feeling her own taste in his mouth, and then they walked blindly back into the house without worrying about getting the floor wet.

“Have you given up swimming in the pool?” she asked between the kiss as she felt his hands run all over her body.

"I want you in my bed." he replied and started kissing her neck, distributing bites. “We can fuck in the pool another day.”

Y/N smiled mischievously at the idea of being together again in such a carnal way, after all that was what she always wanted.

He took her to the bedroom and the rest of the wet clothes they were still wearing fell along the way on the floor, Y/N brought her hands to scratch his back as she felt his teeth penetrate her skin.

Chanyeol lay on top of her, placing his hands on her thighs so that she lifted her legs towards his waist. They both moaned at the shallow contact of their hot hips.

He pulled his face away to look at her firmly and intensely.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” he asked quietly, seeing her nod.

“Fuck me, Park.”

He smiled evilly, held his dick to line up at her entrance and penetrated at once, firm and hard, making her moan loudly and grab his back as she lost the air in her lungs.

Y/N wanted to see his face fucking her up close but she couldn't as her eyes rolled back in pleasure and she closed them tightly feeling him enter her as deep as no one else had done. He seemed to tear her apart from the inside and her pussy contracted internally, causing him to moan against her ear.

He kept the rhythm steady and deep, she was so hot it was driving him crazy and irrational, he was moving in and out of her like an animal just to hear her moan beautifully beneath him.

Y/N took her hands to his ass and squeezed, she wanted it even deeper as if she could make him go even deeper inside her, Chanyeol then took his hands to her waist and pinned her against the mattress and started thrusting even deeper, Y/N's moans only increased as did the speed at which he entered and exited her.

She begged him with disjointed sentences, her voice barely came out as he grunted hoarsely and the sounds that their hips made in that sensual and carnal dance was making the room even more erotic.

But it was only when he took a finger to her clitoris and applied the right pressure, following the same speed as his hips, that Y/N moaned loudly and then came. Chanyeol kept thrusting, making her hypersensitive, until he reached his own climax, which didn't take long.

He fell on top of her, breathing heavily as she ran out of strength, hands falling to her sides as she swallowed hard, trying to recover.

Chanyeol got out of her and lay down next to her, taking his hand to gently caress Y/N's face, who opened her eyes to look at him with a genuine smile.

“Catch your breath because I’m not done yet.” he said, smiling widely.

"Great, me either."

[mybiasisexo]

Entangled - Part 12

Pairing: Chanyeol x f.Reader Chapter Warning: Language Word Count: 8.5k Author’s Note: ...Hello 🙂 How has everyone been 🙂? Please dont look how long its been since I updated okay???? Lets focus on the fact that its chapter 12!!! Im so shook that its still going tbh but can i get a little commotion for still writing this? we really outchea!!! This story turned 3 years old a couple days ago lol I def should've been finished it already but hey, thats life! I want to thank everyone still invested and hope you love this new chapter! We have 2 chapters left!!!! Chapter 13 and an epilogue 🥲 so so bittersweet. but you guys have at least another year before its done lmaoo yall: thats not funny 😡 While rereading this story i realized something and I just want to mention, to anyone reading this fanfic, this is NOT a sign to get back with your ex!!!! ONLY if hes an exo member than you can consider it until then this is a work of FICTION!!! Pls pls dont be like Mel irl i beg 😫 Also is there anyone reading this named Melody? I thought about that too. Like you see thats the big nickname reveal and am like 'ok? thats just my name 🧍🏾‍♀️' lmfaoooo thats a funny thought! As always, thank you everyone! Replies, reblogs, and asks are greatly appreciated here! You know I LOOOOOVE yalls commentary, youre all so funny and it makes me so giddy when you tell me how the story made you feel 💕 Adore you all and hope you get to see bbh and kai this summer 😘

Being back in Seoul after everything that happened is different.

You’re different.

Yet, life doesn’t wait for you to adjust back into the routine you had before Jeju. You try your best to fall back into the life you had spent years perfectly curating, but find it frustratingly difficult to do so.

The hardest adjustment is Yerim’s new found absence. She’s become such a common fixture in your life, practically living with you, that not seeing her at all is a huge blow. You miss her laugh, her rants about her job and school, her bickering. She’s as much your little sister as she is Seulgi’s and it hurts not having access to her the way you once had. But you understand, so have been giving her the space she needs. That doesn’t stop you from constantly pestering Seulgi about her. Her response is always the same–Yerim needs more time. You have a feeling she’s keeping her distance because she doesn’t want to see Chanyeol, and you’ve told Suelgi to send the message that he is not in the picture, but whether she received the news or not, Yerim has yet to contact you in any way. 

Months pass by in a boring yet restless blur. The only day that really stands out is your birthday, but even with the little party Seulgi throws for you, and the facetime call you have with Sehun, it doesn’t hold any true significance. You distract yourself by keeping busy, throwing yourself into your work and Jongdae’s upcoming baby shower, which you volunteered to help decorate. Eunhee laughs every time you send her new ideas, claiming you’re more excited than she is. You chalk it up to this being your job so you take it very seriously, but the truth is that you are beyond excited for that day to come, because you’re eager to see a certain face again.

The truth is that, despite your attempt to keep him out of your thoughts and just focus on yourself and the life you have built, Chanyeol has never left your mind. You find yourself wanting to call him, wanting to update him on everything that he missed. He’s the first person you want to rant to whenever you’re having a rough day, yearning for his touch when you fall asleep. You want to hear his laugh and see that special soft smile that fills you with love whenever it graces your presence. You can’t seem to get over him this time, can’t shove his presence back into the depths of your heart that way you have been doing for so long. He tore that door down, making sure that he’ll never be forgotten no matter how desperately you try. It’s enough to have you coming to terms with what you want out of your relationship. 

You just hope when that day comes, that he feels the same way.

You gave in once.

Two months after the wedding, you get a memory from six years ago on your phone. You know it’s probably not the healthiest, but you refuse to get rid of any pictures or videos of the two of you. The memory is a video. You’re walking into a familiar dining room where Chanyeol sits alone, a paper birthday hat on his head. When he notices you, his face brightens, and he falls back in his chair in an invitation. You ask if he had a good birthday as you climb into his lap and he says it was perfect. You turn the camera so that it's now facing the both of you. Chanyeol kisses your temple, your cheekbone, then your cheek, and mumbles, ‘thank you, baby’. He then turns his head so that your cheeks are pressed together as you both look at the screen reflecting your image back at you, ‘I love you,’ you answered simply, as if that was enough. And it was. He holds you closer, nuzzling into you and the video ends. 

It reminds you that it’s Chanyeol’s birthday, but you can’t bring yourself to wish him a happy birthday. Firstly, you don’t have his phone number, and secondly, you’re no contact right now and aren’t technically supposed to speak to each other.

Still, not saying anything eats at you for a couple days and you hatch up a risky plan.

You know the odds are slim, but something in your spirit encourages you to try.

And that’s how you find yourself holding your breath as the other line of your phone rings.

“Oh?” You hear once the call is answered. “What a pleasant surprise.”

“Hello, Baekhyun,” you greet in return, rolling your eyes at his sarcasm. 

“Darling.” You can hear the smirk curling his lips and know that he’s teasing you.

“What are you up to?” You ask, trying to sound nonchalant.

“About to get lunch. I’d invite you, but it’s kind of a date.”

“Oh?” You ask, surprised he even answered if he’s entertaining someone.

Before you can question him, you hear exactly what you were hoping for.

“A date? I’ll humor you because I know how desperate you–”

Chanyeol.

He’s there with him, right on the other side of the line.

“Anyways!” Baekhyun interrupts, loudly drowning Chanyeol out. “What are you doing, Sweetie?”

“Darling? Sweetie?” Chanyeol questions. “Sounds like you’re speaking to your actual date. Maybe you should invite them out instead.”

“Nonsense. It’s your birthday lunch. But….” Baekhyun pauses for dramatic effect. “Maybe I should. It might make you jealous though.”

“Jealous of you annoying somebody else? Not very likely.”

“I’m not annoying, am I?” Baekhyun then drops the bomb by saying your name.

That seems to shut Chanyeol up.

“She says I’m not,” Baekhyun tells Chanyeol, despite you never answering his question. “What? Nothing to say now?”

Baekhyun chuckles smugly, but then he’s yelling at you.

“Yah!” He says your name again. “You haven’t asked me anything about my date! Aren’t you curious?”

“I shouldn’t intrude,” you finally speak.

“Please. Let me introduce you.”

“No, really, it’s okay!”

It’s too late. You hear the shuffling of the phone being moved around followed by silence.

Finally, Chanyeol clears his throat and says your name questioningly.

The relief you feel at hearing his voice is so intense it brings tears to your eyes.

“Hi, Chanyeol.”

He gasps at the sound of his name leaving your lips, and when he speaks, it sounds as though he has yet to catch his breath. “Hi.”

“Oh, brother,” Baekhyun says.

“Shut up.” There’s some scuffling, and then Baekhyun yelping in pain.

“Is everything okay over there?” You ask.

“Yeah,” Chanyeol says. “How have you been?”

You’re giddy, like you’re talking to your school crush for the first time. Which, in a way, you are.

“I’ve been….” You contemplate telling the truth before settling on, “adjusting.”

“Same here.”

“Well, since I have you,” you say lightly, pretending this wasn’t the whole reason you called. “Happy birthday.”

“Thank you,” he says vehemently. “I think this may be my favorite gift.”

You can’t fight back the smile threatening to split your lips. “It’s not much.”

“It means more than you know.”

“If that’s the case, then I’m glad. Enjoy your date.”

“My date?” It takes him a moment to realize what you’re alluding to. Once he remembers, he snorts. “oh, that. Between you and me, I don’t think there will be a second one.”

“Aaaaand you’re done,” Baekhyun says.

“No, wait!”

Despite Chanyeol’s height, Baekhyun has no trouble snatching the phone back.

“This is what I get for being nice,” he mutters into the receiver.

“Aw, Baekhyun, I’m sure he appreciates the effort you’re putting in to make sure he has a good time.”

“For that, I’ll let you have a little treat.” He lowers his voice conspiring. “He hasn’t shut up about you since coming back.”

“Bro!” You hear a mortified Chanyeol in the background.

“Looks like we’re at our destination. It was great talking to you.”

“Likewise.” In a grateful tone you add. “Thank you.”

All the humor leaves Baekhyun’s voice as he responds. “Anything for you. I’m glad you called.”

The call ends and life goes on.

December comes and goes, only bringing the cold in its wake. Next thing you know it’s January.

You bring in the new year with a resolution to be more open to new experiences and to take more chances.

“I see you!” You say, excitement evident in your voice.

“You sure?”

“Can’t miss that big ol’ head of yours.”

“Um, have you seen yours? Okay, wait, I see you now.”

You hang up and run over to Sehun, who’s pace doesn’t change as he saunters towards you. Despite how aloof he appears, he drops everything he’s holding to catch you once you jump into his arms, his hold tight.

“You’re here! You’re here!” You cheer, jumping once you’re back on your feet. Sehun can’t help but laugh at your silly antics.

Movement catches your attention and you peek behind Sehun’s broad frame to see a handsome man slightly taller than you with big round warm eyes and thick eyebrows currently furrowed in confusion as he watches Sehun interact with you.

“You must be Do Kyungsoo.”

He locks eyes with you and a slight nervous smile pulls at his full lips as he dips his head in greeting. Unsatisfied, you break away from Sehun and yank the stranger into a hug, missing the way he glances at Sehun in a silent plea for help.

“I told you,” Sehun sighs disapprovingly as you pull away.

“It’s an honor.” You ignore Sehun’s quip. “I hope Sehun already told you that your payment for staying with me is dinner of the gourmet kind.”

“I didn’t think he was serious about that,” he answers, laughing awkwardly as he readjusts the thick frames on the bridge of his nose.

“I don’t joke about food.” 

Kyungsoo lifts an eyebrow and blinks owlishly at you.

You decide you like him.

With a dazzling smile, you grab Sehun’s hand. “Let’s go!”

You lead the two men out of the airport, helping them put their luggage in the trunk before peeling out into the city.

“God, it’s been forever since I’ve been in Seoul,” Sehun says as he takes in the frosty scenery flying past.

“What about you, Kyungsoo?” You ask, searching out his gaze through the rearview mirror.

“I went to school here,” he informs.

“That’s how I met him, remember?” Sehun says.

“Oh yeah. I forgot. You were in the culinary program at our college.”

“Graduated early because he’s a genius,” Sehun praises. You don’t miss the way Kyungsoo’s face grows pink, but he remains silently looking out the window.

It’s weird in a way, meeting a close friend of Sehun’s that you yourself aren’t close to. It’s a grim reminder of your growing distance and the passage of time. You know you don’t really have a right to feel the slight tinge of jealousy from hearing Sehun compliment his friend. You have Seulgi, and Sehun has never made a big deal about your friendship. You think it has more to do with the fact that you’re not as close anymore. It leaves your heart slightly aching. 

Sehun and Kyungsoo tell you about the flight as you bring them to your apartment where they will be staying for the weekend. Seulgi and you had to get creative, because you don’t have any spare rooms. It was decided the boys would take the rooms and you would share the sofa bed in the living room.

Seulgi’s home when you arrive, doing some last minute cleaning.

“You look pretty,” you point out when you spot her finishing wiping down a counter in your kitchen. She gives you a guilty lip glossed grin before her attention is given to your guests.

“Sehun!” She embraces her long time friend and then sets her attention to the newcomer. She points at him. “The chef?”

“That’s me,” Kyungsoo says, lifting a hand with a crooked grin that makes his already handsome face even more attractive, if that’s even possible.

Seulgi’s smile is wide as she shakes his hand. “It’s nice to finally meet you. Sehun’s said so much.”

“All good things I hope.” 

“Sehun never says anything good about anyone,” Seulgi  points out.

“It’s a talent,” Sehun brags.

“Seulgi….” Kyungsoo says her name as their hands separate, testing it out as he racks his brain. “I believe Sehun has said something good about you before. That you make phenomenal art?”

She lights up at that. “He has?! Sehun!”

He sighs and throws an arm around your shoulders. Shrugging, he says, “I’m not a complete monster.”

“Should I show you your room?” You ask him. You take in the other two, noticing the way they seem to be watching each other. “Seulgi, why don’t you show Kyungsoo where he’ll be sleeping for the next couple days?”

“Oh, right!” She jumps at the sound of her name. Remembering herself, she leads the way, mouthing an ‘oh my god’ as she passes by. You giggle. Seulgi has been interested in Sehun’s chef friend since the first time she saw a picture of him on Sehun’s instagram. Kyungsoo isn’t aware, but this moment has been years in the making.

Now alone, you turn in Sehun’s grasp, wrapping an arm around his slender waist. “I knew this was going to happen. What are you going to do when they fall in love and he doesn’t want to go back to Busan?”

“Put Seulgi in the luggage. You’ll be moving in with Chanyeol soon anyways.”

“It hasn’t even been an hour yet and you’re already bringing him up?” You pull away and move you guys to your bedroom.

“Come on,” he sings as he plops onto your mattress like he owns the place. He puts his arms behind his head as he rests against the headboard and it hits you that he’s actually here. It takes everything not to start crying and running around the room in excitement. “Tomorrow is D-day, excuse me for being excited for you.”

Jongdae’s baby shower is tomorrow, and of course, Sehun is fully aware of the promise you made with Chanyeol in the gazebo. That day feels like it was both years ago and yesterday.

Sehun nudges your knee with his foot. “Stop playing it cool. I know you're excited too. You got that crazy look in your eyes.”

“What crazy look?” You ask as you sit at the edge of the bed beside his calves.

“Exactly what I said. You look like you’re up to no good.”

You huff a breath. “I’m just nervous.”

“Why?”

“What if he decides he doesn’t want to get back together?”

“He won’t.”

“But what if he does?”

Sehun purses his lips, contemplating. “Then you respect his decision, put on a brave face, and then cry in my arms when the party’s over. Okay?”

You nod dejectedly.

“I take it you’ve decided you want a second chance?”

“Yeah,” you admit. “I forgive him. I….” You look at your best friend. “I love him, Sehun. I really do. I want to be with him.”

Sehun’s expression turns soft and he drags you over his frame, hugging you. “Aigoo, my baby is all grown up.”

You let out a watery laugh and allow yourself to bask in your emotions. You’ve used this time exactly how you were supposed to. You have been able to process your feelings and separate your past self from your present self, and the present you is just as in love with Chanyeol as you were back then.

That is what makes you so nervous. You’ve changed so much. What if you give it another shot, but you don’t fit the same way you once had? What if he can’t bring himself to love this new version of you?

You shove away your doubts. Now isn’t the time to wallow on hypotheticals. Your best friend is here, in your arms, and tomorrow you’re going to bask in another friend’s joy. You’ll worry about that other stuff if they become a reality.

Since you voluntarily took charge of planning this baby shower, you have to head out early to the venue to set up. Sehun decides to join you, leaving the other two to get ready together. The chemistry between them is obvious and you wonder how the weekend is going to go for them.

The baby shower is being held in a party room that has large doors that lead to a botanical garden. Being that it’s mid January, the vegetation is frozen over and unbroken snow covers the ground. It still holds a whimsical charm and anyone that dares to venture out will find beautiful ice sculptures. The inside is a small room, which is perfect for an intimate celebration.

You are the first to arrive, along with some of your crew. Not even the parents-to-be are present, which is exactly how you planned it because you want to surprise them. This is your baby gift. You want to bring the warmer vibes of the gardens, so you have pink, purple, and blue plants and flowers overflowing vases in every corner. Sage green clothes cover the tables. 

Sehun refuses to lift a finger to help, which is annoying but unsurprising. You bring in a large wicker chair and put it at the head of the room. It will serve as Eunhee’s throne. Since she’s so far along, you don’t want her moving too much if she can help it and the chair is very comfortable, if Sehun sitting in it practically the whole time without complaint is any indicator.

“Oh my god!” You hear nearly two hours later. Turning, you see Jongdae and Eunhee enter. The two take everything in, Eunhee with watery eyes. She’s the one who spoke. “It’s beautiful!”

“Absolutely perfect,” Jongdae agrees, shaking his head in awe as he scans the place. You give Eunhee a big hug. She’s someone who came into the picture post college, yet fit right in. There is no one else you’d rather have carry your friend’s child.

“I'm glad you like it,” you say as you lead her to her throne. She notices Sehun and beams, singing his name as he stands to embrace her.

“‘Like’ doesn’t do it justice. You killed it,” Jongdae praises as he hugs you. When you pull away, he finally spots Sehun. “And did you help, Sehun?”

“Of course,” Sehun scoffs. “This was all my idea.”

“The only ‘helping’ Sehun supplied was keeping Eunhee’s chair warm.” You roll your eyes as the boys dap each other up. “Which, by the way, you’re expected to be in most of the day. I don’t want you lifting a finger for nothing!”

“Not even to eat?” She asks, rubbing her swollen belly.

“Nope. That’s what Jongdae’s for.”

Jongdae–and Sehun, finally–help with the last finishing touches as you monitor everything and lead everyone where they need to go. 

It’s around two when people start showing up. Eunhee’s parents are the first to arrive. You’re already exhausted, sitting in a chair with your bare feet propped up on another, gobbling down some baby shower meatballs. Eunhee’s mother finds you and immediately asks what she can do to help, and you’re beyond thankful to give someone else the reins, even though everything is pretty much set up.

Jongdae’s cousin, Kim Minseok, is the next to arrive. He comes in carrying the cake that holds the baby’s gender inside, and is the sole person that already knows. You’ve met the older gentleman a few times before and he gives major big brother vibes. He’s the strong and silent type, never saying much, but when he does it’s either something incredibly profound, or something so extremely out of pocket you have to side eye Jongdae.

When Minseok comes in, he kisses your cheek in greeting and smiles so widely you’re left blushing and stuttering when he asks where you want him to put the cake. 

It’s a moment still until familiar guests start to show up. The party officially starting means you’re now allowed to enjoy it as merely a guest, even though that doesn’t stop you from checking things from time to time to make sure everything’s running smoothly. All the positive words about the venue don’t go amiss and you smile proudly at succeeding in making a beautiful shower for your friends.

Sehun, who left your side the moment Jongdae walked in, remembers you’re there and nudges you. “Let’s take some pictures before the line gets long.”

He leaves little room for you to argue, dragging you over to a balloon arch you both spent way too much time finding the right spot for. There’s a professional photographer there who gets some good shots of the two of you. When Sehun is satisfied with the amount of pictures taken, you leave the arch and your eyes carry over to the wicker chair Eunhee still sits upon. Her head is lifted nearly straight up to meet the eye of the tall man conversing with her. The height is very familiar and your heart skips a beat as you realize that Chanyeol has finally arrived.

Swiftly, you turn to the opposite side of the room, and you’re glad you do because you find Junmyeon and Nayeon awkwardly standing there.

“Myeon!” You gasp and race over to your friend. Sehun sucks his teeth, but follows after you, knowing what you’re doing but just as eager to see Junmyeon.

Junmyeon says your name in the same tone and holds his arms out wide for you to fall into. Unsurprisingly, this is the first time you’re seeing him since the wedding. He holds you tightly and you think that he gives Jongin a run for his money with how comforting he feels.

“What’s all this I hear about you having drama at my wedding?” He asks into your ear.

You wince as you pull back. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I was on my best behavior.”

“Ah.” he nods in understanding. “So, it was all Chanyeol then?”

“Isn’t it always?” You ask innocently.

Junmyeon chuckles and shakes his head. “I fear I missed out on a lot that weekend.”

“You had bigger things to worry about,” you assure, patting his shoulder because you can tell that he feels bad for not being there with everyone. Junmyeon is the father figure of the group and takes his role very seriously. Sometimes you forget he’s only a couple years older than you because he treats you more like a daughter than a friend at times. “Like marrying this lovely lady.”

You turn to Nayeon, reaching out to embrace her. Her smile is bright as she falls into your hug. You aren’t sure if it’s seeing her walk down the aisle or the solidification of her role in your life, but the hug feels like a new chapter in your relationship. 

“It’s good to see you,” she says, and it sounds sincere.

Separating, your smile matches hers. “You too. How was the honeymoon?”

Her smile turns shy. “Too short.”

“Oh, I bet! I didn’t get the chance to tell you, but you were absolutely stunning on your wedding day.”

“Thank you.” She grabs your hand, giving it a squeeze.

Junmyeon calls your name, gaining your attention. He takes in your interaction with unabashed pleasure. It has been no secret that you’ve had a hard time cracking his wife’s shell. “Sehun tells me you set this place up?”

“And did.”

“You should do mine next.”

You blink. “Will it be soon?”

Turning to Nayeon, you raise a questioning brow. She’s quick to shake her head. 

“No,” Junmyeon verbally answers. “But you know how the saying goes. First comes love, then comes marriage….”

“Then comes a very expensive baby shower, because I don’t work for free.”

“You told me this was a gift.” You glare at Seulgi, who joins your growing circle with Kyungsoo in tow.

“Yeah, but Jongdae isn’t a millionaire.”

Junmyeon frowns. “I’m not one either.”

“But, you will be. So, I will be overcharging.” You shrug.

“Everyone,” Sehun, who is bent at a weird angle so that he can rest his head on Junmyeon’s shoulder. Myeon has an arm thrown over Sehun’s neck, holding him close. Sehun is Junmyeon’s overgrown baby and it’s painfully obvious whenever they’re together. Sehun gestures next to him. “This is my good friend and business partner, Do Kyungsoo.”

It’s so strange how easily Kyungsoo seems to fit in with your group. He gives that half grin that you’re starting to find endearing and bows his head slightly in greeting. His cheeks grow pink at the attention Sehun throws onto him.

You lock eyes with Seulgi and ask her a telepathic question.

Her smile is soft. “I’m behaving.”

“Why?” You nudge her shoulder and she returns the gesture.

“So, this is where everyone’s hiding!” You hear Baekhyun’s unmistakable voice and then he’s popping up between Sehun and Kyungsoo.

You turn to give your attention to your loud friend, but end up locking eyes with someone else.

Chanyeol is standing directly across from you in the circle your friend’s have created. For a moment, you’re back in Jeju, at the table seeing him for the first time in years.

You have been anticipating this moment for weeks. You’ve pictured it numerous times, played out different scenarios on how you would respond to him. The skip of your heart, the small gasp that leaves you, the duling of your senses are all expected. What is surprising to you is a relief and longing so strong it nearly carries you across the space separating you both.

And he’s staring back at you with this content look in his eyes. None of the relief or longing currently rushing through your veins are reflected back at you, and your heart sinks as nerves take over.

Chanyeol appears…calm. Friendly. It’s as if Jeju never happened, as if he hadn’t desperately begged you to take him back. 

As if he moved on.

You drop your graze, ears burning in embarrassment for being so excited. You can already taste rejection on your tongue, and mentally curse yourself for believing for one moment that Chanyeol meant it when he said he would always want you.

You can’t resist taking a second peek to take in his form, seeing how he must have spent these last few months in the gym. His arms and shoulders are noticeably bigger, the cozy sweater he wears stretches over the new muscle tantalizingly. He must have dyed his hair black at some point and it washed out to a darker brown closer to his natural shade, instead of the sun bleached brown he was rocking in Jeju.

A shoulder bumps you and you lift your head to see Jongin with a teasing grin on his face. It drops the moment he sees your expression, and he says your name, concerned, drawing the attention of some others.

“I’m sorry. I have to do something,” you say, quickly leaving to collect yourself before anyone can question you. 

You don’t get far before Minseok stops you. He rests his hands on your shoulders, holding you far enough to intently study your face.

“Sir?” You say, wondering what he’s doing.

He tilts his head. “Only tears of joy today.”

You purse your lips. How does he know?

He pats your head. “Eunhee’s mom wants us to prepare the games. Come on.”

You sigh but follow Minseok to set up the games. A few of your friends partake in them. You forgot just how damn competitive Chanyeol is. He wins all four. One requires teams and you’ve never been more embarrassed by your friends in your life.

When the games are done, Eunhee starts opening gifts. You take this time to sit in a little corner alone, taking the party in and giving yourself a moment to congratulate yourself on a successful party. It’s beautiful and everything is moving smoothly. After the presents, the couple will cut the cake to reveal the gender, and then the party will wrap up. You wonder where your talk with Chanyeol will fit in. You don’t want to ruin this day for yourself, so maybe once it’s over will be best? The suspense is killing you though, you’re not really sure if you can last much longer. You’ve caught Chanyeol’s eye a few times since leaving the circle, and each time he’s given you a small smile or nod before going back to whatever he was doing. Nothing long enough to gain any more insight on his state of mind. Maybe he’s nervous? Maybe he’s healed? Maybe he’s dreading having to let you down easy?

Your brief moment of solitude is disturbed when Baekhyun slides into the seat beside you. 

“There you are,” he says, relief evident in his voice. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

You sink into your chair, crossing your arms over your chest. “I haven’t been hiding, Baekhyun.”

He frowns at your tone. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” you answer too quickly, too sharply. You exhale and start again. “I’m just nervous, I guess.”

“About the party?” he pushes, and you know he knows why, he’s just being careful on how to bring it up. “Or… something else?”

You lift an eyebrow at him. “You know the answer to that.”

Baekhyun scoots closer to you. “You have no reason to be nervous. Chanyeol’s going to meet you where you stand, wherever that is.”

“Are you sure?” You ask. You catch the man of the hour hand Jongdae a present. The father-to-be narrows his eyes suspiciously at him. It’s a very cute interaction and it makes your heart flutter despite everything.

Baekhyun tilts his head in confusion, resembling a puppy. “Yeah? Do you not remember anything that happened in Jeju? it was never Chanyeol’s feelings that were ever in question. Just yours.”

A smug grin stretches his lips. “But you figured yours out, didn’t you? I remember when you just so happened to call me around Chanyeol’s birthday. Y’know that was quite the little coincidence.” His smile grows, showing his perfect teeth. “You wanted to talk to him.”

“Stop.”

He pokes your side. “Admit it! You want to get back with Chanyeol and you’re nervous because you believe there might be a chance he actually rejects you.”

“Ew. It sounds so…cringey when you say it out loud.”

“Is that you admitting that you’re still in love with him?”

You roll your eyes. “Yes, okay? I am! I…I still love Chanyeol, and I’m ready to give us another try. Happy?”

He pulls you into a tight hug, swaying you from side to side. “Beyond! I’ve been waiting for this moment for years! I’m so happy for you!”

“We’re not back together yet, Baekhyun.”

“Yet,” he points out, and that for some reason, calms your nerves, and you relax against him.

A deep voice clearing catches your attention, causing you to grow rigid in Baekhyun’s hold. Slowly, you separate from Baekhyun and lift your head to see Chanyeol hovering over you both.

He gives Baekhyun a stern look, and the shorter man snorts before lifting his hands in surrender.

Chanyeol faces you, but he can’t quite meet your eye as he asks, “have you seen the ice sculptures yet?”

This is the moment. Chanyeol is inviting you to have your talk. 

You shake your head. “I actually haven’t. Do… you want to see them?”

“Only if you want to.”

You nod enthusiastically and hear Baekhyun giggle but ignore it. “Okay. Yeah. Just, uh, let me get my coat.”

You don’t know if it’s guidance or reassurance you seek that has you turning to Baekhyun nervously. He supplies both by tilting his head in Chanyeol’s direction encouragingly. Stiffly, you get to your feet  and lead the way to the coat stand. Chanyeol takes your coat from you, holding it out to help you put your sleeves in.

“Thank you,” you whisper as he shrugs on his own.

He gives you a derpy grin. “My pleasure.”

All bundled up, you head out to the gardens. Only a few footprints stamp out the snow, showing how little people have dared to step outside. You don’t blame the others, it’s freezing. Your face goes numb almost instantly, but it’s still a sight to see. All the bushes have frozen over, and arches that appear as ice  line the trail. The setting sun and multicolored fairy lights scattered around add a sense of whimsy, making it feel like you’ve stepped into a parallel universe where fairies live.

“Boy or girl?” Chanyeol randomly asks as you both casually walk the path.

“Huh?”

“The baby,” he clarifies. “Do you think it’s going to be a boy or a girl?”

“A girl,” you decide. “Jongdae is such a girl dad.”

“You’re right. He totally is.”

“Good job back there,” you say, nudging your thumb over your shoulder where the party continues without you. “I’m sure all of Eunhee’s family are terrified of you.”

He chuckles at that and it’s music to your ears. “I do tend to get carried away.”

“I’ve never seen someone so serious about changing a diaper.”

“And I did it in ten seconds! That’s pretty impressive, you gotta admit.”

You give a noncommittal hum. “Fatherhood will be easy for you then.”

“You think?” He asks, eyes absolutely sparkling at the idea. 

“I do.”

“Oh, well… I think you’d make an amazing mother.”

“Really?” You ask, surprised. You’ve never really given motherhood much thought. It’s something so out of reach that you never entertain it. You did once, back when you wore your engagement ring. Chanyeol and you had discussed parenthood a few times. At the time, you’d both agreed you were way too young to think about starting a family, but now you’re in your late twenties, so you guess it’s something you should consider more.

“You’re a caretaker,” he continues. “Take today for example, I bet you were just supposed to decorate, right?”

“Yeah,” you admit quietly.

“Yet you ended up putting the whole thing together. You take care of the people you care about. You always have.”

“I never thought of it like that,” you admit.

He shrugs. “I’m just stating a fact.”

You come across your first sculpture. It’s an impressive six-foot ice dragon. You both stop to take it in.

“It’s impressive,” you remark.

Chanyeol nods. “I bet it took hours to sculpt.”

“Kinda sad it’s going to melt. Feels almost like a waste.”

“That’s the tragedy of art, but there’s beauty even in that.”

You’re quiet for a bit.

“I started going to a new cafe,” is what comes out of his mouth next. His attention never leaves the dragon, not even when your head snaps over to him in shock.

You know what he’s trying to say, that he no longer sees Yerim. His admission knocks the wind out of you, but you’re able to collect  yourself. “I’m sure the old one misses you.”

“Nah,” he’s quick to dismiss. “Though I hear I leave quite the impression.”

You click your tongue at that, which garners a small laugh from him, seeing humor in your reaction. Needing to change the subject, you give him a once over, taking in his reddening cheeks, the paleness of his skin contrasting beautifully with the darkness of his eyes. He’d thrown on a beanie to keep his ears warm, and despite them being covered, he still resembles a freakishly giant elf. Speaking of giant, his new mass overwhelms you. You can definitely notice the difference in his size compared to a few months ago.

“You’ve been working out,” you say.

He glances down at you, looking rather pleased. “You noticed?”

“How could I not? You’re towering over me.”

The tip of his tongue catches between his teeth. He likes that phrase, and you’re reminded that he has a size kink. You’re not that much shorter than him (this may be denial speaking) but being even an inch smaller is enough to get him going.

“It’s a newly acquired hobby I picked up after returning from Jeju,” he explains.

“I see….” And you do. It was something to fill the time, something to distract himself from the fact that you were once again not in his life, and wouldn’t be for a while.

The two of you leave the dragon and continue to the next sculpture. Chanyeol senses your understanding and presses, “so, have you gotten any ‘hobbies’ since I last saw you?”

You lift your arms out like a shrug and gesture around you. “This.”

He takes in the winter wonderland. “Then you spent it wisely.”

“It kept me busy for sure, but I’ll admit it wasn’t enough to distract me completely.”

Chanyeol nods in understanding. “It’s been difficult… going back to how things were before.”

A sharp laugh leaves your throat before you can stop it. His words feel like an understatement.

The next sculpture is an eight foot replica of the Eiffel Tower.

“I was foolish enough to believe that I could continue living the way I had been before the trip,” you admit, taking in all the little details of the ice. “But I outgrew that life the moment I landed on that stupid island.”

You can feel Chanyeol studying you, as if you are the one carved from ice. You wonder if he sees the tragedy of your design, that you’ve been melting, and if he still finds it as beautiful.

“Jeju changed us,” Chanyeol agrees. “How has it changed you?”

You meet his gaze, yours steady and unwavering. “It made me realize where I wanted you in my life.”

Chanyeol takes you in, gulps, and turns abruptly. You gape at his retreating back for a moment before jogging after him. His long legs close the distance to the next sculpture in record time. There are only two left and this one is of a beautiful woman, looking down at her plump belly that she cradles lovingly. You swear you can see Eunhee’s features etched into the clear face.

Chanyeol’s squinting up at the face, most likely noticing the same thing  and contemplating whether it is your friend or not.

“You ran,” you accuse once you’re standing beside him, out of breath.

His features smooth over, becoming expressionless. “You scared me.”

“That’s funny,.” He turns to you questioningly. “That’s how I felt when I saw you earlier.”

His eyebrows furrow. “Why?”

“You looked at me like….” You lick your drying lips. “Like you had moved on.”

“That’s what you saw?” he asks skeptically.

You give your attention back to the Eunhee sculpture. “Did I misread you?”

“Immensely,” he says, voice flat and intense. When you work up the courage to look at him again, you see a fire has built inside him that the cold tried to snuff out, but it burns through, warming you in turn.

“Oh,” is really all you can say under his scrutinizing glare.

“I’m sorry for scaring you earlier,” he says, still intense. “And for running. What were you going to say? Where do you want me now?”

“I….” You take a deep centering breath and tell him the truth. “I want you right where you are now. Beside me.”

A shocked laugh leaves him in a puff of condensation that bellows around you, stinging your cheeks. It feels like a caress, like contact, and it  makes you confident enough to proceed with your confession. “I've missed you so much, Chanyeol. Not just since coming back from jeju, but since calling off the wedding all those years ago. I’ve carried that suffering with me everyday, pretending I was fine, that I had moved on. But, after returning from the island, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t avoid it anymore. It was too heavy a weight. All I’ve wanted since is to see your face, to hear your voice, to…to be with you. Not the college boy that I fell in love with, but the man that you’ve become. I want to rediscover you, I want to learn your new habits and meet your new friends. I want to be a part of your life again…. I want to be with you, Park Chanyeol.”

You can feel your throat constricting, and tears start to blur the vision of the man you love taking in every word you say as if they are bible. You inhale sharply, it sounds more like a gasp, as you try to control your emotions. Clearing your throat, you voice your doubt. “That being said, if you’ve decided that you don’t feel the same way, and just want your closure to finally move on, I respect that. This isn’t only about what I want. You have a say in this relationship too. So… where do you want me?”

The wobble in your voice seems to echo off the ice surrounding you in the silence that follows as Chanyeol hesitates to answer. At least it feels like hesitation. Is he debating how to let you down gently? Or is he still trying to process your revelation?

Finally, after what feels like hours, he says, “there’s one more sculpture.”

You follow Chanyeol wordlessly, your heart plummeting from his lack of response. The last sculpture is ironic in a way, depending on how this conversation goes. It’s two swans, their heads pressed together and their necks curving into the shape of a heart. 

Chanyeol is grinning as he takes it in. “I think this one might be my favorite.”

“It does have a certain charm to it,” you say sullenly. 

Chanyeol’s smile stretches, but he doesn’t say anything. You both quietly take in the birds, you wait patiently for Chanyeol to answer your question. 

“The gym isn’t the only thing that has been keeping me busy these past months,” Chanyeol shares. “When I came back, I found new inspiration, and have been writing music nonstop.” He chuckles. “My company has been very happy about that.”

“That’s good to hear.” you say, and you mean it. You know how much music means to the man before you, he bleeds chords and rhythms. Being able to make money doing what he loves is an honor not many people get to have. You’re so very proud of him for being able to have others hear his talent.

“Yeah. I took your advice. I truly thought about what you mean to me. I wrote those feelings down in songs and worked through the pain, the confusion, the hurt, and the hope. When I showed my music to my company, they asked me what had changed, and I told them the truth.” He shifts to face you head on and reaches out to grab your hand. “That I found my muse.”

Your breath gets caught in your throat as he continues. “I guess it’s more like rediscovered my muse, because it’s the same one as always. All of my music is about you. Only you. You ask where I want you in my life? The answer is simple. I want you everywhere. You’ve always been everywhere. You’re the melody of my life.”

You blink back the new flood of tears bombarding your eyes, overwhelmed by his words. 

He is watching you tenderly, and you swear you see his eyes as shiny as yours. The hand not holding yours cups the side of your face and you shiver from the icy bite, but it thaws so quickly you end up leaning into it. “I want to be with you too. It will always be you, Mel.”

The tears finally fall, and Chanyeol is there to catch them, to catch you. You both let out airy laughs, relief and joy bubbling in your throats as the situation dawns on you. 

“We’re really going to do this?” You ask, in shock. “You and me? We’re going to try again?”

“Yes,” Chanyeol confirms, resolute. “And we’re going to get it right this time. I’m not letting you go again. I don’t care what excuse you try next time.”

You shake your head. “You won’t have to worry about a next time.”

You pull back slightly and take out your phone, handing it to him. “Can I have your number?”

He grabs the device from you. “Are you asking me out on a date?”

You scowl. “Absolutely not! You’ll have to do the asking, sorry.”

“I think I can manage that,” he says as he types away. He gives the phone back, fingers brushing yours when you retrieve it. 

You stare at one another, only one thing in both of your minds. What did Chanyeol say last time? Seal it with a kiss? Well, that’s what you want to do now, you want to kiss him so bad your body shakes in yearning. Chanyeol gathers as much, his head slowly lowering to grant your wish, and you wonder briefly if you’re making that face again. His nose brushes against yours and you tilt your head back to lift your lips higher for him to reach.

Cheering shatters the moment, bringing you both back to the frozen yard of your friends’ baby shower.

You gasp. “The cake!”

You both rush back inside, making it in just in time to see Jongdae and Eunhee at the table, frosting and tears on their faces as they celebrate. You see a piece has been cut out of the cake, revealing the color inside.

It’s pink. 

“You’ve been staring at your phone all day,” Sehun points out. 

You immediately drop the block of technology. Groaning, your head falls into your hands. It’s been nearly forty-eight hours since Jongdae’s baby shower ended, and you have yet to message Chanyeol. You’re overthinking, naturally. Even though Chanyeol made it obvious that he wanted to try again, there is that inkling of doubt that keeps you from initiating conversation. You regret asking for his number. You should have given him yours, put the pressure on him instead. He had the chance to text himself, but you were dismayed when you realized he hadn’t. He was again, putting the ball in your court, going at your speed. Now why would he do that when he knew you? You assume this is a test, and you’re failing miserably. 

“Stop torturing yourself and text him already.”

You shift some fingers enough to glare at your best friend that sits  across from you on your pale wooden table. He blinks at you, the poster child of unbothered.

Sighing, you straighten in your seat. “I’m spending time with you right now. Everything else can come later.”

“Uh-huh. Lucky for you, I’m used to you using me as an excuse.”

You gasp dramatically. “I’ve done no such thing!”

He grins and reaches over to hold your hand. Sehun and Kyungsoo are leaving in a couple hours. You’re waiting for the other pair. Seulgi’s helping Kyungsoo get his stuff together, but they disappeared a while ago.

“I told you it was going to work out,” Sehun murmurs.

You smile sweetly. “I’m not going to say you were right, just so you know.”

He pouts at that. “Either way, I know you believe it. Look, you’re back with Chanyeol. Isn’t that crazy?”

“So crazy.” You shake your head. “I feel like I’m dreaming.”

“Then don’t sabotage yourself again,” he says in that casual way he does. “Text him. Call him. Either way, talk to him. Let him know how much you want this. You have to if you want it to work this time. Communication and all that.”

You swallow thickly, fear coating your throat. “Right. Communication.”

Sehun stands and walks around the table to drag you to your feet. He pulls you into a hug, kissing the crown of your head. “You got this. Next time I see you, you’re going to be hand-in-hand with Chanyeol.”

You return his hug tightly, missing him already. 

“Now,” he starts. “let's check on those two. We have to leave soon.”

He drags you to Seulgi’s door, opening it without knocking and you deeply regret it when you notice the pair in various states of undress, hungrily making out.

“Oh!” You’re not sure who said it. Maybe you, maybe Seulgi. But the new couple scramble to make it look like they weren’t just eating each other’s faces.

Sehun guffaws and you cover your fallen jaw.

“Kyungsoo!” Sehun calls between chortles. “I didn’t know you had it in you, man!”

“Fuck off,” Kyungsoo bites, face the color of a tomato as he looks anywhere but where a human stands.

“We have to leave in ten,” you say slowly, fighting a smile as you watch Seulgi attempt to pack, back facing you.

“We’ll be out there,” Kyungsoo confirms.

“Will you?” Sehun goads. “Or are you just going to finish what you started the minute we walk away?”

“Ten minutes, got it!” Seulgi shoves you both out of her room, slamming the door in your face. 

Sehun and you lock eyes and then burst out laughing.

“I told you!” You said when you catch your breath.

“Now you really have to text Chanyeol,” he says. “You’ll need a new roommate soon.”

An hour later, you’re alone in your room, once again staring at your phone. At the contact that merely says ‘Park Chanyeol’.

You remember the last moment you had with him. When the baby shower was settling and people were starting to leave. All of you were huddled together and Jongdae and Eunhee made you all take some photos, claiming how this was the first time in years that everyone actually was present like this. 

You remember how you all huddled together, how Kyungsoo tried to slink away, but Sehun grabbed his collar, holding him hostage next to Jongin who started chatting his ear off as though he’s known him for years. Minseok was also there, having what appeared to be a very serious conversation with Baekhyun.

You felt a body press against your back, and glanced behind you  to see Chanyeol shyly looking down at you.

“Is this okay?” he asked, voice gentle, fragile.

You nodded, voice caught in your throat. The photographer set her camera up, and someone in the back of the group stumbled, causing a bunch of you to lurch forward. Chanyeol steadied you with a hand on your hip, and kept it there once you were stable again. You made no move to remove it, and your silent approval had him relaxing against you. You held your breath, heart racing as you posed for the photos. The happiness you felt in the moment you were sure was perfectly captured. 

Of course, the others noticed, but surprisingly didn’t mention anything. Only giving you both approving or knowing looks.

You swear you can still feel his body against yours, his large hand holding you close. He wants this, you remind yourself. He never stopped loving you, so stop being a little bitch and text him! Go get your man!!!

Encouraged, you don’t think and send a message. it’s a simple ‘hey, it’s me’, but you might as well have thrown your heart at him.

You stare at the bright screen. Watch as those cursed bubbles start bouncing as Chanyeol types a response to your message. Then go away. Then come back. Then disappear. Then–

Chanyeol: Took you long enough, Mel

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taglist @blue-rainydays, @julciaqwerty, @ohsehunsgurl, @byunparklimchoi, @kawaii--mommy, @notyuji, @hisungovenaocare, @theawesomehero7714, @emikowrites, @carefully325 @livebylivsstuff

[yeolsaintlaurent]

Nocturnal Reverie ch.12 [PCY]

pairing - chanyeol x fem reader

genre - mature, smut, angst

themes - power imbalance, romance, crime, justice, class divide, politics, sex

synopsis - In the sprawling, dystopian city of Emberhaven, where power and corruption reign supreme, the lives of two unlikely individuals collide in a tale of passion, intrigue, and moral reckoning. Chanyeol, an enigmatic and wealthy scion of the city's elite, finds himself captivated by the elusive Y/N, a cunning and resourceful thief who navigates the treacherous underworld of Emberhaven. Their first encounter, sparked by a chance meeting in a luxurious club called The Velvet Lounge, sets the stage for a whirlwind romance amidst a backdrop of crime, politics, and danger.

A/N - I started an internship and couldn't for the life of me find the tiniest sliver of time to focus on my hobbies. On one hand I am so so fucking happy and grateful that I have this amazing opportunity, at my dream organization, in the most perfect lab - but my social life and personal life have taken a major hit. I had this chapter and the next one ready for months and it's been sooo fucking frustrating not being able to upload. But hey...here they are now. Thank you for sticking around, my dearest readers. I love you guys so much!!

Chapter 12: Countdown, baby

8:00 PM 

Chanyeol stepped into the Velvet Lounge, the familiar atmosphere washing over him like a cold drink on a hot day. The clink of glasses, the low hum of jazz in the background, and the faint buzz of conversation filled the dimly lit space. The Lounge was a haven of sorts—a place where deals were made in the shadows and secrets were shared over bourbon. It was a place where power didn’t come from being seen, but from knowing who wasn’t supposed to be seen.

Kyungsoo was already at the bar when Chanyeol spotted him, his usual calm demeanor betraying nothing of the gravity of the situation they were about to discuss. A glass of bourbon on the rocks sat in front of him, untouched. Chanyeol walked over, his tall frame making him stand out even in the subdued ambiance. He greeted Kyungsoo with a curt nod and sat down, motioning for the bartender to bring him a drink as well.

"What's going on?" Chanyeol asked, his voice low but direct.

Kyungsoo glanced around before speaking, his eyes sharp as they scanned the room for any unwanted attention. "Minseok's been digging into Lucio’s movements, and there’s been some... troubling developments," he began, his voice steady but tinged with a hint of concern. "One of the brownstone townhouses, which he now knows was Y/N's residence, went up in flames earlier today. Minseok suspects it wasn’t an accident."

Chanyeol stiffened. He had already been on edge after the events of the past few days, but this was different. He could feel it in the pit of his stomach. "And Y/N? What does Minseok think about her involvement in all this?"

Kyungsoo sighed, taking a slow sip of his drink before answering. "Minseok still considers her a suspect, especially with her connection to the raid. He believes Lucio might be using her, and there’s reason to think she’s still involved, even if indirectly."

"That’s bullshit, and you know it," Chanyeol snapped, his voice barely above a growl. His hands clenched into fists at the bar, knuckles white. "Y/N has nothing to do with Lucio. She’s innocent in all of this. She just... she got caught up in the wrong place at the wrong time."

Kyungsoo met Chanyeol’s gaze, his eyes narrowing. "And how exactly do you know that? How are you so sure?"

Chanyeol exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair as he fought to keep his temper in check. "She told me everything—about how she ended up at the raid, about the fire, all of it. She’s been through hell, and the last thing she needs is more suspicion. She’s staying with me now. I’m looking out for her.” he says through gritted teeth.

For a moment, Kyungsoo’s expression softened, but the edge of skepticism remained. "Look, I want to believe you, dude. But you know how these things work. People get involved with dangerous men like Lucio in ways they don’t even realize. I just…don’t want you to get blindsided."

Chanyeol leaned forward, his voice dropping to a dangerous whisper. "I’m not blinded. I love her, Kyungsoo. I won’t let anything happen to her."

There was a heavy silence between them, the weight of Chanyeol’s words hanging in the air. Finally, Kyungsoo nodded, his face unreadable. "Alright. But we need to be smart about this. I’m with you, but we need to tread carefully."

9:00 PM 

The two men sat quietly at the bar, the low light casting shadows across their faces as they pored over the files Kyungsoo had brought with him. A thick folder sat between them, filled with information on Chanyeol’s father’s criminal legacy—things Chanyeol had only heard whispers of until now.

Kyungsoo flipped open one of the folders, revealing detailed reports on Lucio and Dom—two names that had haunted Chanyeol for as long as he could remember. These weren’t just enemies; they were remnants of his father’s empire, lingering like a dark cloud over everything he’d tried to build since his father’s death.

"Lucio was one of your father’s top enforcers," Kyungsoo said, tapping a grainy black-and-white photo of Lucio from years ago. "When your father fell, Lucio went rogue. He started building his own network, but he’s been keeping a low profile—until recently. Now, he’s making moves, and from what I can tell, Y/N got caught in the crossfire."

Chanyeol’s jaw tightened as he scanned the reports. There was a photo of Dom, his father’s closest confidante, smiling beside Lucio at some old gala event. "Why was Dom involved with Lucio?" Chanyeol muttered, flipping through the pages.

"Dom was your father’s right-hand man. He handled all the operations your father didn’t want to dirty his hands with. Lucio was just a tool for them both—a violent, unpredictable tool," Kyungsoo explained. "But after your father’s death, everything changed. Dom disappeared, Lucio took over parts of the operation, and now... now it seems like they’re both back in the game."

The implications of it all weighed heavily on Chanyeol. His father’s sins were still haunting him, and now, they were threatening the woman he loved.

As Chanyeol turned another page, a photo of Dom slid out from the file, landing on the bar. His fingers froze. Suho, who had been silently polishing glasses nearby, suddenly stopped mid-motion. His eyes locked onto the photo, his expression shifting from casual bartender to something much darker.

"Suho?" Chanyeol asked, noticing the change in his friend’s demeanor.

Suho’s hand trembled slightly as he picked up the photo, staring at it intently. "This man..." he began, his voice barely audible. "I’ve seen him before. Years ago, when I first took over running this place. He used to come here... but not for the drinks."

"What do you mean?" Chanyeol asked, his heart beginning to race.

Suho glanced around before leaning in closer, lowering his voice. "He wasn’t just a regular. He was here for meetings—quiet meetings with people who didn’t want to be seen together. Politicians, cops, businessmen. I overheard things. Things that could ruin careers, destroy lives. If I’m even seen talking about him, I know for a fact that there’s going to be a hitman waiting for me outside for when I leave."

Chanyeol’s mind was spinning. Dom had been operating in the shadows for years, even after his father’s death. And now, Lucio had picked up where he left off.

10:45 PM

Kyungsoo stepped outside to take a phone call from Minseok, leaving Chanyeol at the bar with Suho. The unease that had settled over him earlier was now fully blooming into anxiety. He couldn’t shake the feeling that something was horribly wrong.

As he sipped his bourbon, his thoughts drifted back to Y/N. She had seemed happy earlier—relieved to be away from the chaos that had consumed her life after the raid. But then the fire at her old apartment happened, and now Lucio’s name was coming up more and more. He couldn’t ignore the sinking feeling in his gut any longer.

"You look troubled," Suho said quietly, breaking the silence.

Chanyeol glanced at him, then down at his drink. "I am. Something doesn’t feel right. Y/N... she hasn’t responded to any of my texts for hours. And then there’s the fire. I wish I was there for her when she woke up, but I had to leave before the ass crack of dawn to track down a low-level thug. I thought he would somehow take me to wherever the fuck it is that I might have some answers - but he was a fucking deadend." Suho nods, while Chanyeol continues, “My heart breaks to think that Y/N most probably had to wake up by herself to the horrible news of her home of so many years burning down. Fuck!!”

"Do you think Lucio’s behind it?" Suho asked, his brow furrowing in concern.

"I don’t doubt it. He’s sending a message, to both me and Y/N," Chanyeol said, his voice tight with frustration. "He knows I care about her. The fucker is  using that against me."

Suho nodded slowly, his face grim. "Be careful, Chanyeol. Lucio isn’t just some street thug. He’s been around a long time. He knows how to play the game."

Chanyeol put down his glass and rubbed his temples, letting out a low sigh. The weight of everything was pressing down on him, and he didn’t know how much longer he could keep it all together.

11:00 PM 

Kyungsoo returned to the bar, his face pale, eyes wide with urgency. Chanyeol knew immediately something was wrong.

"What is it?" Chanyeol asked, his voice rising with alarm.

"Lucio," Kyungsoo breathed, barely able to get the words out. "He’s escaped. Killed three prison guards on his way out. Minseok just got the call."

Chanyeol’s heart stopped. For a moment, everything around him seemed to blur. Lucio was out—and Y/N hadn’t answered his calls in hours.

Fuck fuck FUCKKK!! Chanyeol grabbed his phone and dialed Y/N’s number again. The call went straight to voicemail.

"Kyungsoo, this isn’t a coincidence. He’s after her. He. knows. she’s important to me," Chanyeol said, his voice strained with panic.

"I know," Kyungsoo replied, his voice tense. "We need to figure out where she is, now."

Chanyeol paced back and forth, running his hands through his hair, trying to think of what to do. Every second that passed felt like an eternity. Y/N could be in danger—real danger—and he wasn’t there to protect her.

"We need to move," Kyungsoo urged. "Lucio’s not going to wait around."

11:50 PM 

Chanyeol’s phone buzzed in his hand. A text. He unlocked it quickly, hoping it was Y/N, but his blood ran cold when he saw the message.

It was from a private number. Attached was an image—Y/N, tied to a chair in a dark, unfamiliar room. Her face was bruised, and she seemed unconsious. Below the image was a single line of text:

"2 AM. Come alone, or she dies."

Chanyeol’s heart raced as he stared at the message, his hands trembling. He could barely breathe. Time was slipping away, and if he didn’t act now, Y/N might not make it through the night.

"Kyungsoo!" Chanyeol shouted, showing him the message.

Kyungsoo’s face went ashen. "We don’t have much time," he said, his voice grim. "We need a plan."

Chanyeol didn’t respond. His mind was already racing, running through every possibility, every move he could make. But there was no time to think. He had two hours.

Midnight 

Chanyeol stood in his apartment, staring at his phone. His hands were shaking, his thoughts a blur. He had always been in control—calm, collected, strategic. But now, everything was unraveling.

Y/N’s life was in his hands, and he had no idea how to save her.

The clock struck midnight. The countdown had officially begun.

Every second now was a second closer her death.

[eomayas]

new thing • park chanyeol series

this series is completed.

summary: during a night out, reader and her friend run into her friends boss and his attractive friends. one catches her eye and they have some fun. reader assumes it’s going to be a one night stand, until she runs into him one day and he asks her on a date. from there, their relationship grows into something deeper than just physical chemistry.

contains smut NOT suitable for minors. this story is 18+. MINORS DNI!!!

chapter index: [ 1 | 2 | 3 | 3.5 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 ]

series playlist

[dilxcc]

supposedly yours ᡣ𐭩 byun baekhyun

angst, thought it was one-sided love but it wasn't , regrets, grammatical error

byun baekhyun x f!reader x park chanyeol

a/n short angst fic with baek and chan 🥹 I HAD THIS ANGSTY THOUGHT LAST NIGHT AND WAS LIKE, WHY NOT RIGHT?

the awkward silence, the slight skin-to-skin contact, the nervous eye contacts... all of it was a hint in the first place. yet, he had failed to realize that.

"chanyeol... why doesn't he like me? why does he like her?" you sniffled, gripping your phone for dear life. chanyeol hated that you were crying. if anything, he wants you to smile and laugh for the rest of your life. his heart aches even more knowing that you like his best friend. when he is standing right in front of you; comforting you whenever you needed him.

baekhyun wasn't there when your cat went missing. baekhyun wasn't there when you failed your driving test. he wasn't there during your graduation. chanyeol knew why his best friend skipped those events and wasn't there to comfort or congratulate you. and the reasons were acceptable. yet, he felt an ugly feeling brewing in his chest, asking what you even see in baekhyun?

baekhyun regretted the fact that he never take the chance to confess. there were many opportunities where he could just swept you off your feet with his cheesy yet romantic confession. he hated the fact that he was too afraid of losing you. he hated it even more knowing that he lost you to his best friend forever.

.

"you know... i actually used to like you," you admitted shyly. "it was a stupid crush that went on for years," you smiled. "but well, seems like chanyeol's the one for me," you said softly, your eyes gazing at the ring embedded on your finger.

baekhyun could feel his heart shattering into million pieces when you told him you were dating chanyeol. it breaks his heart even more knowing that you are getting married to chanyeol. it brings him back to reality that you weren't his. that you were supposed to be his, but wasn't because of his cowardice.

"congrats. i'll bring you guys wedding gifts," he smiled, hoping that the hurt doesn't show on his face.

[multidoluv]

→ ChanYeol x Fem!Reader

❥ Synopsis: ChanYeol faces a difficult situation when his girlfriend has to pretend to be married to JongDae for an episode of We Got Married.

❥ Word count: 0.5k

❥ Warnings: Jealousy.

❥ Request: Yes.

sᴘᴀɴɪsʜ ᴠᴇʀsɪᴏɴ ‧ masterlist

With every broadcast, ChanYeol couldn’t help but feel a wave of jealousy wash over him at some point, even though he knew it was all part of the show. A pang of envy struck him as he watched JongDae share those moments with the person he loved, unconcerned about the rumors that might arise due to the show’s concept.

Those negative emotions started to worry him, especially when all of EXO was invited to a special episode. The "newlyweds’" house was opened, and together, they took a brief tour of the place.

"We cooked for you," the woman announced as she searched for the dishes in the kitchen.

"Really? Did Chen participate?" BaekHyun asked, feigning surprise.

"Is it edible?" SeHun joked, provoking a mix of complaints and whining from the man in question.

"It is!" he assured, bringing the main dish to the table.

She laughed and intervened, assuring them that nothing tasted bad and that she had overseen the entire preparation. JongDae puffed out his chest, proud, and scolded them, while ChanYeol played deaf and blind to avoid the annoying ticklish feeling in his stomach.

For fifteen minutes, the event went smoothly, but halfway through lunch, the guys started asking and teasing about their relationship, which only worsened his feelings. The man tried to stay calm and engage naturally, but he couldn't help but let slip a comment filled with disdain.

"Is it fun playing with my girlfriend?"

More than one person choked on their drink, staring at him in confusion and surprise. The program's staff fell into a deathly silence as the woman paled, her lips slightly parted.

"What?" JongDae inquired, thinking he had misheard.

"I asked if it's fun playing with my girlfriend."

"Are you serious?" JongIn intervened, leaning over the table.

"Didn't you know? We've been together for months," he explained without shame, his anger still too strong for him to try and correct himself or salvage the moment.

Several eyes frantically scanned the room, looking for something to do. The woman, visibly overwhelmed, placed a hand on her forehead, trying to calm herself before turning to the producer.

"Are you going to air this?" she asked, inadvertently confirming the statement.

"We can edit it…"

"No, leave it as it is. It's time for it to be known," ChanYeol said, dismissing the option with a gesture.

"Are you crazy? Do you think this is the right time?" she growled, crossing her legs and arms.

Noticing the tone of his partner, the man seemed to become aware and started to reflect.

"Well, since we're all gathered..." he replied uncertainly, not wanting to make the irreparable worse.

A brief silence settled in the room until one of the eldest decided to take control of the situation.

"Your marriage is a sham," BaekHyun declared.

"What? What are you saying?" JongDae responded, choosing to play along with that familiar whine of his.

As the guys tried to lighten the mood, the real couple exchanged silent glances, tense and nervous. She raised an eyebrow, while ChanYeol flashed a wide, apologetic smile. He knew that, thanks to his jealousy, this would be the most popular episode.

[proudahgase-exol]

Loving you is all I know.

Chanyeol x reader ft exo (angst)

Warning: cussing, mentioning of alcohol and cigarettes use.

Summary: you have a on/off relationship with Chanyeol It has been going on for four years now but this time it’s different you can’t take it anymore so you tell him how you really feel

Ps: if you like my work please like and reblog and comment if you like to 💞

✼••┈┈┈┈••✼♡✼••┈┈┈┈••✼

Y/n pov:

It happened again he ended the relationship he claimed that he was too busy to be with me but I wasn’t stupid I knew what he was up to by the many Instagram posts he would publish with another girl at clubs.

It sucked, to be honest, it hurt me so much especially since I’m his group assistant I was in charge of getting the boys from point A to point B I had to make sure they were always in time for everything so I pretty much had to see him every single day.

Now you might be asking why I always take him back and well that’s because I love him I've been in love with him since he debuted and there’s no other man like him i don’t want another man I wish I could stop loving him but loving him is all I know.

A few weeks ago he broke up with me for what feels like the million time it’s sad especially since his members pity me they give me This sad smile or when he is in the room with a new girl the boys try to make sure I’m okay.

Today I saw him again with of his many girls I can’t understand how it’s so easy for him to just throw me out like I’m garbage and even easier to come to look for me when he can’t find a new fuck toy it brakes my heart but I’m so fucking stupid that I keep letting him hurt me.

I was so sick of seeing him like that cline I was nothing like I was never part of his life when I went home I took a long bath with a bottle of wine trying to drink my pain away trying to forget his handsome face.

When I got out of the bath I got changed and walked to the back yard and sat down looking at the sky then I lit a cigarette I was never the girl that drank and smoked but after the third time of the many times Chanyeol broke up with me I try to find a way out a way to forget him and alcohol and cigarettes did the trick and every time we got back together I did stop.

As the days passed the guys started to notice a change in me I thought I had been hiding my alcohol and cigarette problem well but Kyungsoo found out he was gained to question me than the rest of the guys heard all the commotion and also started to question me luckily chanyeol still haven’t gotten here.

“Hey, have you been drinking?” Asked Kyungsoo

“N no,” I said turning away

“Yes you have I can tell and you also stink like cigarettes y/n wtf why would you do that,” he said racing his voice

“I haven’t now cat you stop,” I said turning back to face him

“Hey, what’s going on why are you guys yelling?” Junmyeon asks walking over to us

“She’s been drinking and smoking and don’t try to deny it I know what a hangover looks like and I can also tell what cigarettes smell like,” Kyungsoo said with disappointment

“Is that true? Y/n why would you do that” Minseok walking over to my side

“Don’t worry about me go get your stuff so I can tell you home” I said trying to change the subject

“Hey I know it’s about Chanyeol Hyung but don’t ruin your life like that for him trust me we hate him for what he’s been acting,” Sehun said walking up to me and hugging me

“I will get over this eventually but if this is the way it’s helping me then so let me it’s my life, not yours,” I said pushing Sehun away from me

“Hey what’s up guys what did I miss,” Chanyeol said walking into the dance practice room

“I’ll way for you outside by the car,” I said walking away as I took a brand new pack of cigarettes out of my jacket

As I was walking out the door I saw Chanyeol walking behind me but was stopped by Baekhyun and Jongin

Chanyeol pov:

I watched as y/n walked out of the dance practice room and I also saw her taking out a pack of cigarettes I turned around and asked the guys about y/n

“Hey, how long have a y/n been smoking?” I asked them

“A long time why,” Kyungsoo said

“Why didn’t you guys tell me,” I said getting mad

“You don’t care about her so what’s the point of telling you we didn’t tell her anything because we thought it wasn’t hers since she was not the type of girl to get drunk and smoke,” Baekhyun said

“I do care about her who told you I don’t,” I said getting defensive

“Dude if you did you wouldn’t have brake up multiple times you would respect her and treated her like you love her but you don’t,” Sehun said annoyed

“I know it’s none of our business but why do you keep breaking up if you're gonna end up going back to her?” Junmyeon asked

“I- I don’t know at first it was because I thought she should be with someone better but then I just liked messing around with other girls then realized that I love y/n then I went back to her but now I don’t know anymore,” I said looking at the floor

“Well either you fix your shit or you will only end up losing her for good,” Jongin said walking out of the room

I saw the way the guys walk away not looking back at me I knew they cared for Y/n I know they are siding with her because the truth is I’m the asshole I don’t know what I keep on doing this I truly love her I just got so used to this routine and didn’t saw that not only was I hurting her but also my friends and I need to fix it if I still can.

When I walked out of the building the guys were already in the car so I got in but Y/n was nowhere to be seen nor was Minseok so I asked Jongdae who was next to me and Minseok had taken Y/n out for drinks I don’t know if she drink too.

She used to be this sweet shy girl who wouldn’t drink nor smoke every time I drank she would take care of me and tell me I shouldn’t drink that much now she’s different she’s not the y/n I knew and I know I was the one who made her this way.

When we got home I was pulled to the side by Junmyeon who started to yell at me he was angry so we were there with other guys and all I could think about was if y/n was okay.

“Are you listening to anything I’m saying?” Junmyeon asked

“Sorry what did you say,” I said looking at him

“I ask if it made you feel good walking around with a different girl every week right in front of y/n do you like the way she looks at you or does it satisfy you knowing that the girl cries every day?” He asked looking at me with so much anger

“No, I didn’t know I was hurting her like that I-“ I didn’t know what else to say

“You unbelievable Chanyeol that girl is broken she’s so far gone and I know for a fact that the old y/n will never return” I saw walking past me and pushing me with his shoulder

I was so fucked I knew the boys love her she’s been with us since the beginning they care for her like family and it scares me that I’m the one who messed this up I’m the one that hurt her and I hate myself for that but I’ll try to fix it I’ll try to apologize hopefully I could do it get her back for good

Y/n pov:

After I walked out of the building I lit up my cigarette I was trying to hide my tears but I just couldn’t it hurt so much to see him so happy I felt like I was disposable like I didn’t matter to him that how he’s making me feel

As k wiped my tears I heard someone running up to me and saw that it was Minseok when he got close he took my cigar off me and turned it out then hugged me

“Hey it’s okay to feel sad you can cry don’t hold your feelings back I’m here if you ever need to talk I’m always here you know you can call me if you want a drinking buddy just call me and be like oppa telsngo for a drink and I’ll happily join you,” he said as he hugged me and kissed the top of my head

“But you get busy and tired and I don’t want to bother you,” I said wiping my tears

“It’s okay I don’t mind being tired and if I’m busy I know Sehun will love to drink with you we both know he can’t say no to a few drinks,” he said joking

“Yeah you're right but still you guys get busy and I know you get tired at the end of the day,” I said looking at him

“Don’t worry it’s alright now let’s go I know this place where they make the best good and have good alcohol what do you say? Let’s forget about everything for a while?” I asked me

“Sure let’s go but who’s taking the guys home?” I asked worried

“It’s okay I told someone that you were feeling bad and that I had to take you home so they sent someone to take the guys home now let’s go,” he said pulling me by the arm

When we were At the restaurant, we ordered our food and drink we chatted and then he asked if I wanted to talk about Chanyeol so I did I told him everything from the first time we broke up till now it hard to say it but it feels good to have told some about it than I changed the topic not wanting to talk about Chanyeol anymore so we talk about the boys and Minseok’s new girlfriend.

After a few more drinks and crying over the past Minseok took me home with the help of one of my friends when I woke up the next day my head was hurting so I got up and went to the bathroom I got cleaned up and went to the kitchen for breakfast I took my time eating than my way to get change so I can go to the boys since today they had a group meeting for their new comeback.

When I got to the building the boys were already in the lobby wetting for me and when I got close I saw Chanyeol making his way to me but a guy stopped by Baekhyun Then Junmyeon walked up to me and told me where the meeting was gonna be so we made our way there.

The whole time chanyeol kept looking at me like he wanted to tell me something but I ignored him I looked away and tried not to make eye contact with him.

After the meeting was over the boys went to their dance practice and i went to have another meeting with the managers and stuff. After it was done I went to check on the guys to see if they needed anything they told me they were all good so I walked away and on my way out the door chanyeol ran up to me and asked if we could meet up at his place to talk he said he will be quick so I agreed curiously.

After a long day of work, I went to the guys again to ask them if I was taking them or if they were gonna do something else. They said they were going out for dinner and then for some drinks so to not worry I left and my way to Chanyeol’s place.

When we arrived chanyeol was pulling up as well I waited for him in the lobby of his apartments while he parked the car. After a while he walk in the lobby and told me to follow him as we walk into the elevator we just stood there in an awkward silence until we arrived to his floor that was on the 10th floor.

When we got to the apartment he told me to make myself at home and I just scuffed but walked and took a seat on his couch a few seconds after I sat down Zzar came running from somewhere in another room and ran to Chanyeol but then turned around and run to me she jumped on the couch.

“Oh hey zzar you still remember me your such a good girl,” I said petting her

“Wow seems like she still remembers you but how can she forget the person who walked her every day and gave her delicious treats” Chanyeol said walking out to us

“So let’s cut the bullshit and get straight to the point what do you want to talk about,” I said not wanting to be here anymore

“Oh yeah umm I wanted to apologize for everything I have cussed you for all the pain I have given you I know our relationship was on/off and I also know how much I hurt you by bringing all this girl around,” he said looking down at his shoes

“Chanyeol you broke my heart no move but multiple times an apology won’t fix all the hurt you did to me,” I said getting angry

“I know I’m sorry for all the hurt I'm really sorry I wish I could fix everything I wish I could go back and not have done what I did I wish we were still together,” he said crying

“Answer me with honesty…… why did you do it in the first place? Was I a bad girlfriend? Was I bad at sex did I not satisfy you enough? Was I not pretty enough or smart? Is it my lack of experience what do all of those girls have that I don’t why do they get to go home with you and why do I get to go home and cry myself to sleep thinking I was the perfect girlfriend” I said crying

“Have you been blaming yourself all this time? Did you think every time we broke up was your fault?” He asked whipping his tears that were still falling

“Yes, every single time I thought it was me I still think so…. Is it my fault” I asked in a quiet voice

“Oh god no baby it’s never Ben your fault no once it’s always been mine I've been so greedy I thought of myself and not one of you or your feelings I know it was a dick move on my part at first I thought I would be happier in a new relationship but after a few days I regret it than I come crowing back to you and for some reason, you always took me back so I did it again until it became a habit than I saw Minseok hyung with his girlfriend and I remember you I remember how that used to be us but I had to mess it up,” he said sobbing

“Why did you do it you regret it why didn’t you stop when you felt regret why did you keep doing it” I asked confused

“Because I’m so stupid because I thought you would always take me back after breaking you but then someone told me that at some point you will get tired that you will relies on that you deserve better so I had to stop it”

“Y/n why do you keep taking me back every single time I break your heart I hurt you and yet you still receive me with open arms why,” he asked looking at me

“Because after so long of knowing you of loving you…. You kind of become my everything how loving you is all I know that’s why I always take you back” I said smiling

“Why Cigarettes why alcohol that not you at all why fuck I fucked up so bad,” he said crying harder this time

“Cigarettes and alcohol were my way of forgetting about you for a while it was like my escape from reality it made me feel numb,” I said smiling sadly

“This time I promise you I will be better I will be honest I will be the perfect boyfriend I will treat you like you deserve to be treated,” I said moving closer to me and holding my hand

“Look chanyeol I don’t think I can do this anymore I can’t trust you I can let myself fall for your lies once again I don’t think I can go through this all over again in hurt I’m tired of this cycle

I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t love me like I love them” I said placing his dog on the couch and getting up

“Please I promise I will be better I will be the man you need and deserve please give me a chance I will be better this time I promise,” he said staying up as well

“I think you need to look for help because what you have been doing isn’t right take time off dating and messing around fix yourself,” I said looking up at him.

“If I do all that will you take me back will you give me a chance?” He begged

“I don’t know I need time to heal for all this I need time for myself I don’t want to give you hope because you did hurt me pretty badly,” I said looking away from his kicked puppy eyes

“I love you more than you think I do and I regret everything I have down I will do everything to fix everything I will fight for you I will make you fall in love with me it will be like a new start like getting to know each other for the first time hopefully I can make you fall in love with me once again and when I succeeded I will make sure to treat you like a queen to be the loyal boyfriend I should have been in the beginning I promise you that if it’s the last thing I do” he said hugging me tight

“Yeol I said it once before and I’ll say it again I love you and loving you is all I know but don’t push your luck and hope I know you are a good guy but I need healing and sometimes it might take years or forever I might move on from you.” I said giving him a sad smile

“Will you still work with us I will still get to see you right?” H eased hopeful

“This is my last week I will work for NCT there are a lot of boys that need my assistance you might see me around the building but I don’t guarantee that you will,” I said looking at him

“Oh I- “ I try to say something but stay silent

“Well, I have to go now I have a lot to prepare I won’t see you for the rest of the week I hope you have a good life and I hope you actually change l, bye Yeol I love you,” I said walking away from him and out of his apartment.

Chanyeol pov

I was so lost she was actually leaving me for good I was so late way too late for everything I should’ve apologized years earlier I should’ve never done anything I did I should’ve worshiped her when I heard her now I’m looking at her walk away from me and out my life as I did to her now it was my turn to pay for the pain I cause her it was my turn to suffer and feel everything she felt.

I was s,o stupid why did I think she would take me back like before Kyungsoo was right she would get tired and give up on me and she did she relished she deserved better and walked away and I didn’t blame her but I won’t give up I will fight for her I will wing her over and make thing right this time. For now I’ll be fixing myself first hopefully she doesn’t move on but if she does I won’t be mad I will make sure this new person in her life treats her better than I ever did.

- sorry if there’s any errors 🥺

[starillusion13]

Four seasons of love

Pairing: Chanyeol x f! reader

Genre: Slight angst, Fluff, Slice of life

Warning: self doubt, hints of hating and willing to end life. But our big baby is there to comfort you and show that life is worth to you when you are with right person. A lot of comfort through the images of seasons. You all are precious remember it.

W.C: 4.2k+

Request from: @myyeol61

Network: @k-vanity @kvanity-main

Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @vvshere @yeoobin @anyamaris @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @oreharuuu

Note: I got inspired to write this from Chanyeol's solo mvs Tomorrow and SSFW. The plot is related to the songs, you can feel it while reading. Thanks again for reblogging and reviews are highly appreciated. I love you my stellars✨.

*under the cut*

Many thoughts storming through your mind. Your mind swirling like a cyclone, heart clenching and hands going numb. Nobody wants you, no one even cares for your existence. Maybe they are right that your parents left you at the orphanage because you are unwanted. Why? You never hurt anyone or being a threat to anyone. The only person you have your faiths and trust on has suddenly turned their back to you. You never thought that you have to witness a day like this too after being treated like a shit all these years. Was it not enough for you already?

“Why should I live now?”

Tilting your head back and closing the eyes, you let the raindrops fall on your face directly. Hairs are already drenched and sticking to your forehead and neck, not even caring to move the strands falling on your eyes. Numb hands growing cold under the heavy rain, eyes swollen with crying but people might mistake your eyes are red due to rain. Each falling drop getting mixed with your tears rolling down. Tears of pain? Tears of loneliness? Tears of betrayal? No. Tears of hope.

“Why can’t everyone be happy?”

You must be right. Not everyone deserves to be treated as someone’s priority. Someone has to feel the pain to let others be happy. You lightly chuckle on your own thoughts. Like always you have to be the sacrifice. Your feet move on its own and now you are standing in the middle of the road surrounded by abandoned constructed buildings. At least there are no people here to judge your every moves. Unknowingly, you spread your arms and head still facing the sky but with a little smile adorning your face.

“Can I fly alone?”

Its past safety hours at night and you are getting soaked in rain in an empty street and thinking about flying. Are you a child? Maybe only if you can be a child and someone would care about you and take you in their arms and whisper ‘Its okay. I’m here for you.’. You want someone to care for you, someone to give you the warmth you crave in your life. This cold rainy night is befriending your nightmares to make you alone, to make you feel…you are not good for anyone.

“Such a bad girl.”

Your eyes shot open on hearing the voice. Rather a very familiar teasing voice you must say. You don’t even care to look in the direction to know who the person is but let the raindrops pierce your eyes directly, making you to squint on the effect.

“If you are trying to be blind then I have some better options for you to try.”

Better option? Death. You don’t see any will to live your life. What life? To be an extra character in everyone’s story. Every individual on this planet has their own story but you must believe that you are just the extra one in their story to make give them more spotlight by increasing the sea of people.

“Why are you here?”

“Well, I should have asked you the same little angel.”

Little angel. If only you could have been one then you would have done everything possible to be happy. Just be happy and away from these people who blame you for everything. You are a bad luck to everyone.

Bringing your hands to yourself, eyes fixed on the broken wooden board hanging from the wall of a building to your front. Your back still facing the person but you can feel the stares burning on you.

“I’m not in a mood for your jokes.”

“I’m asking you a question not joking. This is not your colony and also not mine but the complex there is mine and I come here often. So, what brings you here?”

“Can’t you just leave and let me be alone for once?”

Silence. That’s what you got in return. Like others, he also left. Your heart clenched on the thought and your shaking hands turned into fists by your side. Why are you feeling like this? Its not like you were appreciating his presence, or were you? At least him teasing you whole day somewhat makes you feel that someone care to spend a little bit of their time to talk to you……. To tease you maybe. With hope, hope? You turn around slowly, gaze following how each drop hitting the ground and shattering into tiny droplets. Just like your hopes to see him behind will shatter soon into pieces of disappointment, loneliness and pain.

“Chanyeol?.....”

He is still there, hands in the pocket of his hoodie and eyes boring onto your figure. You feel a bit of joy but for what, just to see him standing there? Like the way an angry mother scolding her child for being out so late. Your shocked eyes contacting with the daring eyes of his challenging self as if it’s challenging you to look away.

“You are still here…..I thought-“

“You thought like everyone else I will also leave you alone here.” His tone is monotonous, not even hinting any sort of emotions behind it, neither of caring nor even of hatred.

You nod your head obliviously.

He ‘tsch’ and shakes his head, footsteps approach you. You try to avoid the closeness, panicking you are looking everywhere to just run away from him. But deep down, you want to stay close to him, to hear his teasing voice and to make you annoyed until you glare at him and he will return you a playful wink. At least, he never made you feel alone or ever hurt you.

“Why?”

Why? It’s obvious because am not a one to waste your precious time on. You want to scream this on his face but you feel your throat becomes heavy with a lump stuck inside. You are about to break down because you can’t take this feeling that someone is waiting to hear your response. Caring for you.

“Please...go away…if you are here to tease me later for this then please go away.”

“Do I hurt you?”

“Huh?”

“Do I hurt you with my teasing?”

“I d-don’t know.”  No.

“Do I make you uncomfortable when am around you?”

No.

He paused but your lost eyes staring at him made him continue. “Do I burden you?”

No.

You want to scream but you can’t utter a single world but gazing up at him with lost swollen eyes. His warm hands cupped your cheeks. Why are his hands warm and yours cold? Oh, God has a priority.

He is also drenched but not like you for almost over an hour. His few portions of the clothing are soaked but his hairs are getting wet fully, his umbrella lying upside-down at the side of the street. Why is he getting wet despite having an umbrella?

“Do you hate me?”

No? Yes? Do you? Well, you really didn’t think of him like this way before. Do you really want him to go away? You never felt hurt because of him. Rather you enjoy his company. You don’t know whether it’s bad or not but you love his presence. His presence is the last thing that can burden you. When everyone is turning their back to you, he is the only one looking at you with mischievousness of course.

“Chanyeol...don’t ask me this.” Your fingers tightly hold his wrists but you are keeping his hands close to you, leaning to his touch more. Seeking the comfort in his warmth, you are feeling safe.

“Why?”

“I, myself don’t know how to respond you.”

The rain has stopped but the tears still keeping your eyes wet.

“Y/N, will you let me hold you like this forever? I can’t see you broken like this anymore. You don’t know how much it hurts me whenever I see you crying.”

“What are you saying?”

“Everyone breaks you down but you try to stay strong. You put on a fake smile just to lie to yourself that you are fine. But I want to see the real you.”

“I- n-no...I’m fine.”

“Really? Crying alone in the middle of the street under the heavy rain and I have to believe that you are fine like always.”

“Why are you being like this Chanyeol? I hate when people show comfort out of pity. I am used to being alone like this so just leave me and go away.”

No, please don’t go. You try to move away his hand but he doesn’t budge and his cold eyes staring deep in your orbs as if it can read the hidden truth behind those tears. His thumbs brush over your cheeks, wiping away the tears which are rolling down. Why are you crying? He is not doing anything to you.

“This is why I never approach you to show my care. I always see you getting hate from the ones you have trusted and that’s why I wanted to be someone to you whom you will have some different kind of feelings. I didn’t want you to see me as others who is just pitying you but I wanted you to see me treating you like a regular person.”

“Different kind of feelings?”

He squeezes your cheeks and smiles at your silly face. Those dimples occurring in the end of his smile on the cheeks, your hands move upward to touch them and you can feel him lean to your touch and closing his eyes for a moment.

“Yes, puffer fish. Someone approaching you like you are a loner to their eyes and then suddenly turning their back to you when you actually started to lean on them. I never wanted that to happen between us. I wanted you to see me differently from others. So, I started to tease you and you have to agree that sometimes I have really made you laugh. Also, your glares, you think you look so angry and scary but you just look silly.”

“Yaaa.” You slap his arms and his dimples deepen when he smiles wider which brings a little smile on your lips.

And this is Chanyeol. The tease who doesn’t leave a single chance to annoy you even at this moment when you are so vulnerable and confused with your feelings. But what is the meaning of different kind of feelings?

“I wanted you to see me as an annoying person who can make you angry, frustrated, getting on your nerves so you make silly faces at me when am too much overbearing and also laugh with me on my jokes. But-“

His fingers tracing your cheekbones and big doe eyes staring at your swollen eyes.

“But?” your voice is like a whisper but he can still hear you.

“But I always try to make you forget others, how they mistreat you, how they ignore you, how they hurt you. I don’t want to see you cry over them. I want to see you smiling Y/N.”

“Why are you doing this Chanyeol?”

You are suddenly being held in a big warm hug, him holding you tightly as if you might blow away with the light breeze blowing after the heavy rain. Your body shivers due to the weather but his warm hug feels so comfortable and you wrap your arms around his big frame. Can you provide him the same warmth back?

“I can’t see you like this Y/N. Please let me be a part of your life. Please.”

Your body again shivers to the wind and he retreats from the hug. A part of your life? Which life? The one you don’t even know what is the use of its existence where everyone knows just to hurt you and ignore you.

“Y/N?”

“Hmmm….”

“Let’s go home. You will catch cold like this.”

“I don’t want to go home.”

Why? The place where you feel secure, away from all the judging eyes but suffocating yourself with the thousand thoughts within those four walls of your apartment.

He suddenly picks you up in his arms, your shocked face getting a chuckle and wide smile from him.

“What are you doing? Put me down.”

“Well, if you don’t go by your own then I’m taking you like this.”

“Yaaa put me down. You don’t even know my place and if I start to shout right now, you will really be accused for kidnapping.”

“Hm that’s right but I can say that someone was trying to end her life and I am just being her saviour. Also, I’m taking you to my place so please keep quiet and let’s go before you really die of this cold.”

Die? Yes, but will you be really okay after that?

“No. I will not go with you.”

“And I’m not leaving you here.”

“Chanyeol….”

“Please Y/N.” His creased forehead and serious look urging you to agree with him.

You nod but still your thoughts are running as why you are trusting him so much. If tomorrow like others he will also leave you.Then? He will act as a stranger to you. He will avoid you as if today never happened between you two. His teasing will stop and he will hate you because he has seen you vulnerable so many times. You have cried in front of him many times but why you always show this side to him even when you had a boyfriend. Well, that shit was only there for you for a bet and just left you alone in the darkness when you were taking things too seriously according to him. How foolish of you! You thought he was the perfect one.

But this feeling being in Chanyeol’s arms and feeling safe and having the warm comfort, you never had this with your boyfriend and this thought is really disturbing you.

“Chanyeol…” He looks down at you when he enters the complex building to make his way towards the elevator. “Why?”

“What?”

“Are you really caring for me because we are…..we know each other?”

Pressing the twelfth floor by his elbow, he nods to himself.

“Because you are my four seasons of love.”

“Huh?” Your confused face only got a tight smile from him. You ask him again but he didn’t say anything instead waiting for the floor. You thanked mentally that other people didn’t get in and see you like this even when you tried to make him put you down but his teasing was the only thing keeping you distracted. Ding! You have arrived to the floor.

 He puts you down but still holding your one hand, the other one unlocking the door. With a pull, he lets you inside the apartment and locking the door behind. Your eyes taking in the new environment, each and every piece of decoration screaming richness, looking around the way, your eyes caught a photo frame of a family picture. You didn’t notice when he left you there wandering on your own, returns with a towel in his hand.

“Is that your family?”

“Yes. That’s our last picture which we clicked when I was in middle school.”

Oh! Suddenly you feel him put the towel on your head and starts rubbing the scalp and hair. You try to stop him and insist that you can do it yourself but he doesn’t budge and continues. After having satisfied with your somewhat dried hairs, he gives you a pair of spare clothes to change into but your hesitating self is not willing to do it in someone’s apartment.

“Are you really going to stand here in these clothes? It’s already raining again and I don’t think it will be nice for you to go at this hour. I will not let you go even if you put your rebellious acts.”

“But I can wait until it stops raining.”

“You will let your clothes get dry on you? No way, I don’t want someone to fall sick in my place.”

“Its okay.”

“Do you want me to change your clothes or what?”

“Yaaa chanyeol.”

You hit his arm earning a loud laugh from him and he pat your cheeks directing you to his bedroom to use the personal bathroom and he will use the other one. After getting freshen up, when you make your way towards the living room, he is standing by the wide glass window showing the blurry city view behind the window because of raindrops hitting the glass.

“What are you doing there?”

He is in black t-shirt with matching trousers and hairs damp after shower and you in similar grey set but of his size. He turns around and scans your form which makes you a bit self-conscious. And man, he suddenly starts laughing holding his stomach which brings a frown on your face.

“Why are you laughing?”

“You look so funny in my clothes. Yo-you look like a kitten got dumped under a pile of clothes.”

You go beside him to take a peek at outside because you love to watch such views in rainy days. You shoot him a glare when he pinches your cheek between his laugh.

“It’s not my fault that you are literally a giraffe.”

If there was no rain then the city might look so silent from up here, right? If I have lived somewhere like this, I would have got a better life, right?

You feel arms wrap around from your back and him resting his chin on top of your head. Your stiff body and lost eyes watching the reflection of yours on the blurry window that how much height difference you both have.

“I love you Y/N.”

Love you? Is he teasing you again? If yes or if no, in both the cases, he should not love you because, you don’t want him to turn his back too when he will be bored of you. You don’t want to lose him too.

“Don’t. You should not love me. One day you will also get tired of me and leave me broken. So, it’s better how we are now with each other. Like just…friends.”

“Don’t you want to hear my answers to your question?”

“Which one?”

“Why you are my four seasons of love?”

“Hm…Tell me.” Your fingers tracing some patterns on the glass against each raindrop hitting the frame.

“Tell me the sequence of seasons.”

“Ummm Spring Summer Fall Winter?”

“Yup. I love you differently in every four seasons so I cant ever get tired to love you.”

“What?”

“Let’s start with spring. The season of love, the blooming start of every individual, every life and every relationship. We can start our first love in the spring when there will be bright sunlight with birds chirping as if a melody playing for our bond. Holding hands under the cherry blossom while knowing each other for the first time. The joy, love and beginning of our life will be in this season. Every year this season will be the start to our love from the beginning.”

“Summer?”

“Summer is the season of explore, when our love will take the centre of the stage. The clear sky with blazing sun and warm breeze hitting our skin making us feel to be loved by each other. A warm love between us where we can explore into each other’s depth like the way the whole world gets explored by the bright sunlight. We will travel together, explore the life and our love. The bond between us can be taken to a different stage where the only spotlight will be on our romance.”

“Fall? Will our love fall here?”

“No. The beginning of fall is with rainy days when we can have our breakdowns. Don’t think it as fall, see it as autumn. We can show our vulnerable selves towards each other without any hesitation. The grey clouds making the atmosphere dark and gloomy, the falling leaves from the living trees making it seem like a dead. Our relationship should show all its fault in front of our eyes. No one is perfect but our imperfectness makes each one of us unique and an individual to stand out otherwise we all would have considered same. We can cry with the rain, we can fail in our life but we will again stand on our feet the next day holding each other.”

“Winter?…..”

You can feel him nuzzling his nose into your damp hairs inhaling his shampoo, a smile ghosting over his face. Your one hand still busy on the glass while the other one takes a hold of his hand around you. A wave of comfort and warmth spreading over your body. You can sense yourself being held in safe hands, protected from this whole cruel world and him describing you why you should let him to love you. But winter, the cold environment when every relationship drifts apart because of the numbness in their bond. Will it happen to you too?

“Winter. Well, the season of festive. The most romantic season when we can make more love with each other, we will support our decisions, will spend time together. When the whole world will be under the thick cold white blanket of snow, we will find the warmth in each other. The season when we can share our most hidden secrets and light up mysteries hidden in the cold darkness of our life. We will solve our problems and make love with joy in the festivals like Christmas eve and new year. We can also have one more thing.”

“One more thing?”

He turns you around, caging your body between his warm frame and cold window frame. His hands resting beside each side of your face. His big doe eyes watching your every reaction on the face with a sly smile resting on his face and his dimple again making an appearance. Your hands on the window space keeping your balance leaning backward due to his close proximity. He leans forward to whisper in your ears.

“Winter is also known as the cuffing season. Maybe, we can plan our future in some other ways.”

Your big round shock eyes earn a wide smirk on his face. He laughs when you hit his arms and try to move away but he holds you in the place with a soft look and an admiration in his eyes. As if you are the most precious aspect of his life which is resting in front of his eyes.

“Let me love you, Y/N.”

“Chanyeol. What if I don’t deserve you?”

“We don’t know ourselves what we deserve or not but we can give chances until we lose hope on everything. And I don’t want you to lose hope on me. Please don’t leave me.”

Leave him? This is the first time, someone is asking you not to leave them and you are sure you are not going to do the same thing like others did to you. With a last glance on his face, you hug him catching him off guard but he quickly returns you the hug. His cologne hitting your nose strongly and a spell of hope surrounding you both. His heart beating against your ears bringing a melody of love and your heart matching the beats. Your fingers curling to grab his t-shirt in your tight fist. Tears rolling down your cheeks and his hands moving up and down in your back to soothe your nerves with overwhelming feelings.

“Thank you Chanyeol. I love you.”

 “I love you more angel.”

He pulls you away to press a soft kiss on your temple, on your eyes, on the tip of your nose and then pauses. Your heart racing with every kiss from his warm lips. With your closed eyes, you nod to him.

He closes the distance between your lips. Holding the back of your head and the other resting on your cheeks, he deepens the kiss. A passionate kiss for a blooming love. This is a perfect kiss like a dance, a symphony of lips and chance for a new beginning. A moment where time stands still and all the world is hushed and still. The outside loud cold rain is blocked by the window pane for the silent warm love inside. Only lips, no tongue, no other skin as if only the lips can swallow each other to protect them in a cage.

Breaking apart from the kiss, his forehead rest against yours and he presses a soft kiss on your nose. A genuine smile filled with joy dancing on your lips and he smiles back to you. Fingers wiping the fallen tears which are drying on your cheeks.

“I love to see you smile when it is raining.”

“I love to see your dimples when you smile.”

“And my teasing?”

“Chanyeol…..” you whine on his ask.

“You will always be my four seasons of love.”

Standing close to each other, in a warm embrace of love and the cold rain making the whole city gloomy except where you both found each other’s happiness and love. Each drop of your loneliness, pain and disappointment is breaking down into love, joy and hope.

Your smile is the umbrella for you under the rain and the sound of falling rain is the rhythm to your life and he is the sunshine to make you dance in the rain. Yes, you are his four seasons of love and.

“You will be my sunshine in every season.”

______________________________________________________________

[aqupistau]

— ☕️ⸯⸯ : unexpected help﹙pcy﹚

warnings: profanity

genre & trope: fluff and strangers!AU

pairing: park chanyeol x f!reader

word count: 0.78k

synopsis. chanyeol races against time as he attempts to tie his necktie for the millionth time for a job interview that would start in a few minutes. he’s trying his best not to break down in the middle of the busy street, then comes you, a stranger, offering a hand to tie his neck tie. 

Twenty-three minutes left.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit," Chanyeol mutters to himself as he repeatedly knots his necktie and cursing with another failing attempt.

Everything was going well last night, you know. He practiced possible questions for the interview, ironed the newly bought suit, drank tea that was good for his throat, lighted up his favorite incense, and conditioned himself well for a good night's sleep—which was too good to the point that he slept through his alarm. 

It was his fault, really. He acknowledges that he treated himself so well yesterday that it's not going well today.

"I don't think I'm going to make this. Please let this knot be right." Chanyeol pleaded to himself. The growing tension worsens with the endless repeats of please, his voice cracking as he almost broke into tears. 

"Uhm, excuse me?" someone taps on his right shoulder, interrupting him from his internal struggle of making his tie right and the anxious reminder of the interview starting in a few minutes. Chanyeol turns toward the stranger, eyes glossed from the unshed tears.

"May I help you?" Chanyeol managed to ask. A question more likely directed at himself.

"If it's okay, I can tie your necktie for you. Are you here for the interview at the company down the street?" 

Chanyeol nodded, like a lost child being asked if they were lost, not even being able to say thank you for this kind gesture, focusing entirely on not breaking down in the middle of the street. "Yes."

"That's a very good company you chose," You praised to help him lighten up, but Chanyeol answers with a rather defeated thank you, still stuck in a slump.

"Could you please lower yourself a little? You're quite tall." he obliges, lowering his legs to adjust to your height, and you go about to his tie, relying on your muscle memory to the ups and downs steps of tying a perfect necktie.

"Is this your first job interview?" You try to strike up a conversation, and he nods in an almost robotic way, the topic about the possibilities of his job interview failing clouding his mind. It didn't even matter if there was a stranger offering to tie his tie. May this stranger be a pickpocket or whatnot, just please tie the necktie perfectly.

On the first try, you fail, and you can feel how Chanyeol's heart drops from his eyes with the unsuccessful attempt, whispering an oh no. Then you try for the second time, and this time, you finally succeed.

"Oh my god—Thank goodness," Chanyeol gasps in relief, almost dramatically dropping to his knees, and you catch him on time, worried about how his next problem would be the dirty stain on his slacks if he kneels on the concrete.

"Thank you very much. You've saved my life." 

"Literally—oh my god, thank you, really," he pulls you into a hug, sobbing and being grateful for his unexpected savior. You pat his back awkwardly, trying to comfort a pitiful man you just met who was failing to tie his necktie in public, uncertain how to receive such effusive praise.

"No problem?" you responded.

"It's already 8:19! I must go now," he declared, breaking the hug and bowing a ninety-degree bow, and you're startled by the overwhelming gratitude. 

"Please, there's no need for formalities," You muttered. 

Chanyeol looks up at you and breaks out into a smile, revealing the hidden dimples on his cheeks, and you're caught off guard, shocked by the unexpected smile that was concealed all along. Who knew he could smile like that?

With the remaining time left, Chanyeol dashes to the opposite street from yours before you can process the image of his dimples, smiling directly at you.

As his broad back and towering figure gets smaller from your vision, he stops, looking back at you, and waves his hand enthusiastically, mouthing the words "thank you." You smile back at him with a wave and go about your day as you walk to your street. 

You look back at him once, relishing the good feeling of helping a stranger to upstart your day—in resolute to walking to your office with your head held high because you can help people tie their neckties for company interviews in the future. 

"What a crazy superhero I would make," you chuckled and hummed your way back to your office building, the lingering thought of the stranger you helped smiling so radiantly, his prominent dimples that seemed to greet you a good morning. The sky never looked so blue today, and were the leaves of each branch of trees so pleasant to look at ever since?

Without you knowing, Chanyeol steals one—then two more glances at your departing figure, remembering how the most basic etiquette, which was asking for your name, was forgotten. For Chanyeol, it's comical how this morning feels so much like a drama. A stranger stuck in his petty little problem in the middle of the street then comes someone who does it so easily—I mean, doing it with just two attempts.

Despite not knowing your name, he marks you in his mind with the lingering scent of your perfume, still clinging to the right side of his neck from the hug earlier.

He wonders, "Does she work nearby here? She probably does." and he's now resolved to accomplish this interview, determined with the prospect of asking your name this time, hopefully meeting you in this same street again.

© aqupistau. all rights reserved. ↬ masterlist

[chanyeolsbiggestfangirl]

Synopsis:- After your failed attempt at a confrontation with Chanyeol, you decide to do what seemed best at that time, run away. Even with his indifference towards your feelings, you just couldn’t let go of him, the thought of him, the phantom touches he imprinted upon your soul caressing you in ways more than one. But running away is never a good solution in the long run, for unfinished business will always catch up with you.

Pairing:- Chanyeol X Fem Reader

Genre:- Angst, Smut

Author’s Note:- so, it is finally happening, the unnamed sequel to the request i wrote a few days ago. my heartiest thanks to @scuzmunkie for the heartwarming comments that made my day and prompted me to write a second part. also my deepest gratitude to all those who gave their love to the previous piece. this is for you all.

Prequel 

. . . 

You were a coward, a goddamn coward. You still remember that night and the aftermath of it pretty clearly.

Packing your stuff in the middle of the night with impulsive precision, your heart hurt but your mind was clear. The only way to save yourself and end your suffering was to leave, with no trace left behind. The only way to save your heart from hurting at the sight of his beautiful face was to make sure that he isn’t the first thing you see when you start your day. Your heart longed to steal one last look at him before you stepped out of the door, but the sensible part of you that had been ignored so long wasn’t having any of it. The first step is always the hardest and right now the first step was to not give in to the urge to see him. It was hard, but your mind urged you on and away. So you did it. Without sparing even a single glance at the tall male who held your heart in his hands, you stepped out.

Even now you have no idea of how you managed to do it all, but the memory of Chanyeol’s nonchalant shrug was what made you call your cousin and tell her that you’ll be staying over for the few days till graduation. The memory of his empty emotionless eyes was what drove you to block his number and then delete it for good measure. The memory of his cruel words borderlining on a rejection, was what drove your deepest instincts, all of it was what drove you to put some very much needed distance between you and the him.

In the few days that stood between you and the graduation and the ultimate freedom from all of this mess, you spend all your time alternating between gardening with your grandma and taking with Minseok for hours on end.

When the graduation came, you entrusted Minseok and Sehun to help you get through without running into Chanyeol. But even then it was too much for you. Being in the same space with him suffocated you, override all your senses. The possibility of even a single eye contact, a single interaction was enough to make your stomach hurt. You didn’t stay after the official ceremony, didn’t attend the party, you just told your friends that you’re done for the day and headed home. 

You felt a certain pair of eyes on your back, but you took deep steadying breaths and did not look back even once. 

Three Months Later 

There’s always room for improvement in life, only if you put your mind to it. It has been three months since you got your beloved masters degree, three months since you last felt Chanyeol’s gaze on you, three months since you moved across the city into your brand new apartment near your workplace. 

Three months of trying to heal in peace. Trying to wrench your heart away from the handsome giant. You wouldn’t say you’ve forgotten Chanyeol or moved on, you just made yourself busy enough to never have time to think about him, until he was all but a distant memory. 

But seems like the universe was done, done letting you get away with unfinished business. 

The morning started hazy, the sun made it pretty clear that it couldn’t be bothered to come out. You huffed a breathe as you looked out of your floor to ceiling window, you were honestly done with today and it hadn’t even properly started yet. 

You were always in a somewhat hurry to catch the elevator, it was not that you were late, it was just that the building that housed your office also had other establishments in the lower floors, complete with a high class soundproof studio occupying the entirety of the topmost floor. 

As usual, it was packed, enough not to suffocate and yet enough that you grateful for not slacking off. Usually, you’d always have someone else who was heading for the same floor, who’d already pressed the button to the 15th floor, but it wasn’t the case today. Finding that it wasn’t pressed yet, your hand itched towards it, only for your fingers to brush against someone who just entered. 

You looked up at the somewhat towering figure, only to be greeted by a familiar face. 

A painfully familiar face actually. 

There he was, his currently blonde hair swept back, his full lips jutting out in an early morning pout, dressed casually yet immaculately, brown orbs looking back at you with equal amounts of surprise and something that looked painfully like... longing. 

No 

You scolded yourself internally, trying to stop yourself from plunging into an endless abyss filled with thoughts of him and him only. But it was too late. The damage was already done. You pulled your hand back, averting your eyes, willing yourself to not give away the fact that he had initiated a torrent of emotions within you. You withdrew further into the flock of people in the elevator, putting some distance between you and him, head down, waiting until your floor comes up. 

You were breathless when you got on your floor, you massaged your temples with your thumb and forefinger. 

There goes my sanity for the rest of my existence. 

Turns out, the studio on the highest level was his. You were more than tempted to move places, ask for a transfer to another office, anything, anything to save yourself from running into him. A part of you was begging you to run away again, but the other begged to stay, to grow some fucking nerve. You finally discarded your impulsive letter requesting a transfer and prayed that today would be the first and last time you’d run into Chanyeol. 

If only it were the case. 

You stayed late at work, the lights on the worktables around you shutting off one by one as the time passed but you stayed. It wasn’t the work, it was him. You were working late just so that you could avoid running into him in the lift. When the clock struck eight, you finally stretched your arms and got your things and made to leave. The floor was all quiet. 

You stepped into the lift, mentally making plans to make instant ramen and watch your favorite movie. You were so engrossed in those that you didn’t notice that instead of descending, the lift climbed higher, stopping on the floor you dreaded. 

You were pulled out of your reveries when the doors pinged open and you stepped out only to bump into a warm and hard chest. You looked up and found Chanyeol looking at you. 

Oh no no no no NO 

You were fast to turn, but Chanyeol was faster. His arm came around your waist, pulling you to him, your back against his chest, his lips at your ear as his deep voice sounded in the empty area.

“Y/n please... please hear me out. I.. I am sorry. I really am, about that night. Please...” 

He sounded so... weak and vulnerable in those moments. His hand holding onto you, his broken plea. His hard body against yours shook slightly, awaiting your reaction, half dreading it. 

You wanted to scream at him. You wanted to tell him that you didn’t want to hear it. You wanted to pull away from him and say some really mean words and hurt him just the way he hurt you. You wanted to be far far away from him. 

But you were a weak woman when it came to him. You were weak for him. You were weak for his touch upon you. You were weak for the words voiced in that deep voice of his. You were weak with the way that voice took such control of you and your coherence. 

Had it been some other man, you would have pulled away, released your pent up frustration and then left. 

But Chanyeol wasn’t some other man. 

So you didn’t do any of those things, sighing deeply against his body, you nodded wordlessly. 

He turned you so that you faced him, hand still around your waist, holding you close, his face inches from yours, his hot breathe caressing your face. You didn’t realize you were cold until the warmth from his body seeped into yours and you found yourself leaning into it involuntarily. 

His brows were slightly furrowed, he looked at you with a pained expression,  such longing and sincerity in his eyes that the expression made you feel bare in front of him. Your heart was hammering in your chest, letting out breaths in small puffs as you tried to tell your mind to calm the fuck down.

You expected an apology, a half assed explanation perhaps. But what he said caught you off guard. 

“I missed you.” 

The words felt foreign on his tongue, felt unfamiliar to your own ears. Chanyeol had said a lot of stuff to you. But never these words. 

“Liar.” 

The word was out of your mouth before you properly process it, flinching inwardly at the unintentional yet somewhat intentional bite in that singular word which managed to capture your current feelings towards him. 

“I’m not lying, y/n. I missed you. Every single day, every single moment, I missed you.” 

His words and his grip around your waist were laced with fear and desperation, and gods, you wanted it, your heart yearned for it. Yet, another part of you was equally conflicted, whether or not to let him in again and let him destroy parts of you that you were trying to heal so desperately. 

He was making you weak for him all over again, with just a few words. 

You shook your head, “Chanyeol... stop. Whatever you’re trying to get at here, just stop. I... can’t take it! This is just like earlier again. You ask for an in, I let you in and then... and then you leave. Again. So, stop. Please.”

He sighs deeply, pain flashing across his features, his arm around you tightening as he pulled you even closer. His breathe mingled with yours when he spoke.

"Don't go. Please."

You squeezed your eyes shut, trying not to tear up again from the sheer force of all what was running through your mind. A torrent of buried emotions was resurfacing and you couldn't stop it. Your voice broke over the tears you tried to stop.

"You... you're hurting me. Don't you understand that?!? One moment, you want me and the other, you don't. That's so fucking confusing!"

It felt cathartic, to scream those words out to him, you took deep deep breaths, mumbling a little at the end.

"You ruined me. Hurt me. And I thought I was okay but seeing you now, I know I'm not and that's all your fault!

That's when you push him away, trying to put some distance between you both. He reached out with a hand, lips trembling and you could almost see the cogs in his brain moving, thinking on what to say.

"Y/n... I'm.. I'm sorry. I missed you so much. I can't- "

"Stop, Chanyeol. Stop it! Can't you understand!? I hate this all of this. I hate how my heart still holds onto you after what happened that night. I hate how all I've ever wanted is to be yours." You were panting now, head shaking side to side in internal denial, getting worked up at how ridiculous this situation was. When you spoke again, it was nothing less than a whisper, having spend all your energy on the heated exchange.

"I hate how I still want you even after all what you’ve put me through.”

Chanyeol closed the distance, his hands on your cheeks as he tilted your face, his lips crashing against yours, his tongue seeking entrance, which you readily granted in a heartbeat.

Your arms found their way around his neck, fingers tangling in his silky blonde locks, holding him close, pressing your body against his.

Your heart hammered in your chest, but this time there was a twin beat that hammered right alongside yours. There's just something about his touches, the lips that felt perfect against yours, the warmth from his human furnace of a body seeping into yours. 

There was just something about him that made you let go of all pretenses at reason. 

You missed him. You missed him so fucking much. You were just running away. Planning to fake it till you make it, but Chanyeol beat you to it. You missed his lips. You missed his searing kisses that would steal your breathe away. 

Each and every thing about him, whether big or small, made you stupid. It made you want to believe in his words. It made you want to give him chances, endless chances.

You were still very much in love with Park Chanyeol. 

He pulled away, resting his forehead against yours, breathing heavily.

“Don’t go, please.” The words were a breathless whisper, a chant in his head and heart. He sounded so broken, so vulnerable, it squeezed your heart until you couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think straight. 

. 

He took you home, and you let him. Chanyeol’s lips and touch were like a drug and you’d gladly let yourself be intoxicated by him. You knew it was bad for you, letting him in again so easily, but what could you do? 

The moment you stepped inside the door, his hands were on your waist, turning you around, his lips on yours, his hands pulling you impossibly closer. His lips molded against yours with a fervent need burning in them. It was surprising how he made your head swim and he hadn’t even done anything to you yet. 

You expected it all to be just the way it always happened, the frenzy of lips and tongue and teeth and clothes, impatient hands roving all over you, his touches setting fire to all reason. 

But it all changed when you legs hit the mattress and he did something you weren’t quite expecting. He turned you both, him landing on the bed with you on top of him, he pulled back a little and with the height difference now, he was literally looking up at you. 

This time, it was different. 

It was different when his lips found their way to your neck, leaving a trail of chaste, close lipped kisses. It was different when his hands found purchase in your hips and held you impossibly close as if scared that you would vanish into thin air the moment he let you go. 

“I’m sorry.” 

Those words broke your reveries. They were a breathless whisper against your skin, as if he was trying to imprint the words there, Each and every touch of his upon your heated skin felt as if murmuring an apology. His gentle fingers that explored every curve and plane seemed to echo that apology. As the fabric of your clothes slid off your skin, the lingering touch seemed to murmur in an apology. 

As his clothes and yours found a new place to be on the floor, his arm wound tightly around your waist, pulling you flush against his chest as if scared that you’d push him away and leave without a trace just the way you did three months ago. The heat from his skin seeped into you, you who’d been cold for so long without him. Even as your lips detached from each other’s, they brushed together, your breathes mingling with his. 

You pulled back further, sitting up on his lap, allowing him to adjust the weight, the hooded look in his eyes mirrored yours, his hands were at your sides, fingers brushing against the underside of your breasts, eyes travelling over every bare inch of you with such adoration in his eyes that you could have sobbed. When your lips found his again, his tongue explored your wet cavern like he needed this, needed you more than his next breathe. 

A low moan reverberated against your fingers as you explored the expanse of his chest sculpted from perfection, marveling at each and every plane and curve, his body shivering slightly. His other cradled your head, brushing aside stray strands of your hair.  As his lips leave yours, they began a downward trail, along your jaw and down your neck, down and down to the place between both your breasts.

“I’m sorry.” The words were breathless whisper, brushing his lips tenderly over the spot again and again, as if trying to imprint the words there. He kissed and bit and sucked on that spot, sure to leave a mark. His arm around you tightened, pressing his hips firmly against yours, eliciting a choked moan of his name from your parted lips. “I’m so fucking sorry.” 

Your head was in the clouds, your senses in a haze, you couldn’t bring yourself to either simply nod or say something to him, especially not when his lips on your skin and his hips grounding against yours was enough to make you forget your own name. Your sweatpants weren’t much of a help, rather a nuisance. He pulled away with a final nibble, getting you both rid of your remaining clothes. 

It was fast, yet slow, same yet different. Your breaths were fast, yet it felt as if you couldn’t get enough oxygen in, your mouths moving against each others in a primal, fervent sort of need, in wet, sloppy strokes. Each and every touch of his brought back a part of you that had been lost since forever. You missed him so much, so fucking much. You had been so bleak, so empty without him. You loved how he made you feel like yourself again. 

It was mutual, the need and desperation with which both of you clung to each other, it was mutual. The need and desperation with which Chanyeol held you in his arms as you finally sunk down on his length, his swollen lips parting in a broken moan of your name, head falling back against the pillows, eyes struggling to stay open and maintain contact with yours. The need and desperation with which you moved your hips against his, hands against his chest as you rocked against him. 

“Beautiful. You’re so beautiful, y/n.”

When the words registered against your clouded brain, you wanted to sob and beg, beg the heavens that this at least this meant something. That his words meant something, his apology meant something, his mighty heart thundering against your fingers meant something. That the position you were in, you on top of him and him at your mercy, it meant something. You were lightheaded, with the unspoken emotions coursing through you, with Chanyeol’s girth hitting all the right spots and making you see the stars, with the weight of all these sudden occurences upon your mind. 

Your thighs ached as you tried to keep up the pace you had set, your fingernails digging into his perfect skin and leaving little crescent moons, leaving your mark on him just the way he left his on you. Your skin was on fire as he trailed his hands over every inch of you, mapping it out as if trying to etch it to his memory. He gave you a few moments before he shifted, hands gripping your backside as he thrust up into you. His arms came around your hips, holding you tight before flipping you, with your back to the mattress, his thrusts increasing in pace, your plush lips parting as moans of his name filled the moonlit room. 

You struggled to keep your eyes open, the urge to give in to the pleasure and close your eyes was overwhelming. But you kept them open, looking up at Chanyeol. 

He was the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.  

His beauty felt unreal. The way the soft moonlight illuminated his handsome features, skin glistening with a sheen of sweat, every bare inch of his body glowing, literally glowing. As he bend forward and tilted his head to claim your lips in a soft, sloppy kiss, you ran your hands through his silky locks.

You could never get enough of him. You could never move on from him. Just looking at him pulled at your heartstrings, throat constricting with all the unknown and unspoken and unexplored feelings and words you are not yet ready to embrace, even though you knew. He brought his hand to your cheek, tentatively brushing the sensitive skin under your eyes.

“Chanyeol...” Your voice was nothing more than a breathy whimper, he pulled his hand back, rising up and kissing you on your forehead, your name a chant on his lips, his blood, his soul, his existence. He slid his hand between your bodies and rub into you, making your stomach clench.

“Please. Don’t go. Please....” Even with the way he was above you and writhing under, he sounded so broken, so desperate. It was as if all his pleas were slowly but surely banging of the ironclad walls of your heart and with this one, his length filling you up wonderfully, fingers making you clench in euphoric pleasure, this one was the final nail in the coffin.

You rose up on your elbows, brushing your lips against his, breaths mingling as you whispered against his lips, “I’m not going anywhere, Chanyeol.”

That was all what the tall man needed and few more of his miraculous touches, you unraveled under him, his name a string of chants and you spilled all over him. his body jerked above yours, tumbling into the abyss with you, his grip on your hip so hard that you knew it’d bruise.

Your thighs quivered as he pulled out of you, his body fell alongside yours, the room that was filled with moans and pants and whimpers was now silent, yet it was abuzz with unspoken questions and uncertain answers. The silence was broken with his deep voice.

“Please, y/n. I know my track record of dating isn’t that impressive but please... give me a chance. Small steps? Please.”

You turned to look at him, his eyes were downcast, he was fidgeting with his fingers, fear of a looming rejection written all over his features.

You sighed, tilting his chin with a finger, you let your lips brush against his, not really a kiss but rather a fleeting contact. You pulled back as you said, almost fearful of your next words.

“You can start by not leaving, Yeol.”

He heaved an audible sigh of relief at your words, arms wrapping around you as he pulled you close, burying his nose in your neck, taking a deep breath and peppering featherlight kisses. Your fingers moved softly through his hair, eyelids heavy as you found yourself drifting off into the land of sleep to the sound of his steady heartbeat.

Chanyeol held your weak heart in his skillful hands and all you could do was pray that he didn’t break it again.

.

You opened your eyes to the sunlight filtering through your curtains and you found a small smile making it’s way to your lips at the warmth that seeped into you, at the heavy arm slung around your waist, the grip nowhere suffocating rather comfortingly tight, the kind that makes you feel safe.

Yes, the road ahead was uncertain and was filled with a lot of obstracles to overcome, but you’ll find a way.

Together. 

But right now, all you wanted to do was bask in this feeling. In this wonderful feeling of being in his arms, being his.

. . . . .

Final Note:- and it is over. i know i’m perhaps being too sentimental but this fic means a lot to me. The prequel of this piece was my first ever request as a writer. it is very special for me. writing this was an experience i will never forget. thank you all once again. oh and yeah, HAPPY BIRTHDAY EXOLS! Let’s Love for a very long time! ily <3333

[baekhyunsbestie]

hiii, can i order a chanyeol sub please? if you can🙏🏻🙏🏻

ur order for 1 subby!chanyeol x f!reader is ready baby!!! enjoy the meal 😚

chanyeol's body is burning. sweat slicks his skin, muscles flexing beneath your hands as he grinds against you like a man starved. his lips are swollen from kissing you, his face flushed a pretty shade of pink, and his eyes are hazy, unfocused, lost in the pleasure you’re giving him.

“fuck—” his voice is breathy, breaking apart as he chases every bit of friction you allow. his cock is flushed, leaking against his stomach, throbbing as he ruts into your touch like he can’t help himself.

“so needy,” you murmur, dragging your nails down his chest, and he shudders, sucking in a sharp breath. his hips jerk up involuntarily, his abs flexing, desperate for more.

“i can’t—”his words dissolve into a moan, deep and whiny as you wrap your fingers around his length, stroking him slow, teasing. “fuck, please—please, baby, i—”

you watch him unravel, so big, so strong, yet completely at your mercy. you barely have to do anything—he’s already gone, so drunk on you, his whole body begging to be touched, fucked, used.

“look at you,” you hum, leaning down to brush your lips against his ear. “all desperate and dumb for me. is that what you are, channie? my dumb little puppy?”

he whimpers. actually whimpers. his fingers dig into your hips, but he doesn’t dare take control—doesn’t dare move without your permission.

“yes,” he breathes, voice breaking. “yes, yes, please, anything—”

his brain is mush, thoughts reduced to nothing but you.

you slide down his body, pressing wet kisses down his abs, feeling the way they tremble under your mouth. he’s so sensitive, so on edge, that every little touch has him gasping, squirming, begging.

when you finally take him into your mouth, he breaks.

“oh, fuck—” his hips buck up before he can stop himself, before he remembers to behave, and he immediately sobs, his head thrashing against the pillows. “i-i'm sorry, i didn’t mean to—please, don’t stop, please, please!”

his hands fist the sheets, his whole body shaking as you hollow your cheeks, sucking him deep, dragging your tongue along every vein, every sensitive spot that makes him cry out.

he’s so close, you can feel it—his thighs tense, his abs clench, his moans turn into broken little gasps, and then—

“fuck—oh my god—i—”

he cums with a wrecked sob, his entire body shuddering as he spills down your throat, his mind going completely blank.

he’s still trembling when you pull off of him, panting, looking up at him through your lashes.

“so messy,” you murmur, licking a stray drop from the corner of your lips.

his eyes are glazed over, heavy-lidded, but when you swing your leg over his hips again, he groans, already twitching back to life.

“baby—” he whines, hands coming to rest on your thighs, thumbs rubbing absentminded circles into your skin. “please—need more—”

you smirk, dragging your fingers through his sweat-damp hair, watching the way his eyes flutter shut at the touch.

“you think you deserve it?”

he nods furiously, hands gripping your thighs tighter, as if he’s afraid you’ll leave him like this.

“yes,” he whimpers, looking up at you with those desperate, blown-out eyes. “please. i’ll be good. i’ll be so good for you.”

and when he’s begging for you so good like that, who are you to say no?

[justwritedreams]

Sexual Fantasies | Chanyeol

Chanyeol x Reader, bffs to lovers au! Word count: 2752 Genre: smut Author: maari  Warnings: Mentions of alchool, me bringing back Chanyeol's iconic purple hoodie because yes that's a warning, masturbation (f), some explicit words, kinda corruption kink MDI!! THIS IS A +18 STORY Note: OKAAAY SOOO i kind of wrote it in 3 hours because i really liked the idea and i can say i'm really proud of this one. YEAH BYE Request: a request for chanyeol we’re he thinks y/n is innocent and treats her like a little sister and one day he hears her masturbate and moaning his name ⫷ Exo Masterlist

"Beer for everyone." Chanyeol announced as he held the bottles out to Kai, Sehun and Kyungsoo.

Y/N smiled, stopping her conversation with Sehun who was sitting next to her, she reached out her hands to grab her bottle.

"And for you, miss." Chanyeol snatched the bottle away from Y/N's hands before she could touch it and handed her another one. "Cola."

Her smile faded instantly and the boys laughed at her surprised face.

"Are you serious?" She asked irritably and Chanyeol pursed his lips, nodding in agreement. She took the bottle reluctantly. "You forget that I'm only 4 years younger than you, right?"

"A baby, practically." Kai spoke, to piss her off even more.

"You should drink milk." Sehun joked, taking a sip of his beer.

Y/N glared at him.

"I'm not the one crying because nobody wished me a happy birthday." She replied and Kyungsoo laughed out loud, nearly spitting out his beer.

Kai and Chanyeol laughed too when they saw Sehun's face wither.

"You're not funny." He complained and she rolled her eyes, returning her attention to Chanyeol who sat on the other side of the couch.

"Why can't I drink with you guys?" she didn't want to look like a child but it was impossible not to pout.

"Because I still remember perfectly how you look when you drink." he replied and she snorted.

"It was only once."

"You wanted to throw yourself in the pool."

"It was hot!"

"You can't even swim."

"I was going to float anyway."

"Your dress was white!"

"The family quarrel will last for how long?" Kyungsoo asked sarcastically.

Y/N crossed her arms and glared at him.

She hated it when they treated her like she was a little sister. She was a friend, nothing more.

And yet, it seemed that no one took it seriously. Mainly Chanyeol.

"I hate it when you guys do that." she complained and saw Kyungsoo raise his eyebrows, slightly confused. "You treat me like I'm a child." she stared at Chanyeol who was stretching his arm on the sofa, looking at her curiously. "Mostly you!"

"That's because you're innocent, Y/N." Kai said and she looked at him instantly.

"What?!" she asked, partially shocked. Because the other part thought it was funny.

That's why she started laughing, that idea was absurd.

But seeing that they were quiet, indicated that it was serious.

When she looked at Chanyeol, he had guilt in his eyes.

She blinked a few times.

"Oh come on!"

"But that has to do with your personality, Y/N." Sehun argued. "You're always so quiet and shy."

"Remember when you accidentally fell into Baekhyun's lap? You ran to hide."

Y/N felt her cheeks burn at the memory of what had happened.

It was all Chanyeol's fault, really. She had bought a new dress, a little shorter than what she was used to wearing but she loved how it looked on her body, she got up from the sofa at Suho's house - it was his engagement party - and Chanyeol got up from where he was about to cover her exposed legs with a blanket.

However, she was annoyed that he wanted to cover her legs all the time so she tried to stop Chanyeol. It wasn't a very smart decision because he kept wrapping the blanket around her waist, it brought him closer and made her flinch every time he tried to cover her up. And that made her fall into Baekhyun's lap because she hadn't seen the boy sitting down.

"Do you need to remember this every day?" she questioned, trying not to show that she was still ashamed of that.

And the way Chanyeol was looking at her was making her even more shy.

"Admit it, Y/N, you're innocent." Sehun shrugged and she stared at him, challenged.

"You guys really don't know me."

[...]

Y/N opened the door and heard hurried footsteps running towards her, trying to balance the purchases in her hands felt something jump on her leg, she smiled before she even looked.

And then barking echoed through the room.

"Hey Zzar, calm down girl!" she laughed and closed the door with one leg. "I hope you didn't wreck your father's house."

Y/N looked around and apparently everything was intact, this made her sigh and go to the kitchen, leaving her groceries on top of the counter. After she bent down to pick the dog up, Zzar gladly accepted and started licking Y/N's face, who just laughed.

"I know, I missed you too." She hugged the dog's body. "Let's make up for lost time, your father will take time."

Chanyeol had taken Toben to the vet to get some tests done as the dog seemed quieter than usual, which was really weird considering it was only calm when Y/N was around, but Chanyeol was worried since Toben wasn't eating right too.

And since Chanyeol couldn't take care of Zzar and Toben at the same time, he had asked for help from the only person he trusted. Y/N.

She already had the keys to his house, she was social enough for Zzar not to strange her presence, she was free to cook and even take a shower at Chanyeol's house.

And it wasn't like she could deny his request.

She could never resist his wide smile.

Even if it meant leaving work, tired, and heading straight to his place after stopping by the market.

Y/N took the opportunity to cook something and while leaving it on the stove, she put food for Zzar.

After eating and washing the dishes she had messed up, Y/N turned off the lights and went straight to Chanyeol's room and threw herself on the huge comfortable bed.

She laughed when she saw that Zzar tried to do the same thing as her, but without success. Y/N was about to pick the dog up and put it on the bed when her phone vibrated.

She looked up quickly, seeing that Chanyeol had sent her an audio message.

'I'm waiting for the doctor to call, he's going to talk to me about the x-ray.' Chanyeol grunted from the other side and Y/N swallowed hard, the tired and husky tone was a little too much for her. 'Thanks again for taking care of Zzar, I hope I'll be back home soon.'

Y/N took a deep breath before answering, saying that she would always be there when he needed her and that everything would work out.

She blocked the phone screen and left it next to her body while looking at the ceiling.

She knew he wasn't only tired but worried, and so was she. Both with Toben and Chanyeol.

However… Chanyeol's voice sent shivers through Y/N's body that she didn't even know was possible.

All she wanted was to be able to be by his side, hugging him tight, feeling his strong arms wrap around her tightly.

Y/N ran her hands over her face and took a deep breath again, that crush she had on her friend was pathetic and longstanding.

But there was no stopping it, he had everything she was looking for in a man and more.

In fact, Chanyeol had set the bar too high for any guy to reach. And the fact that Y/N couldn't find anyone who could come close to what Chanyeol was… was frustrating.

Y/N looked at Zzar who was lying beside the bed and staring at Y/N.

"Your dad is a idiot, you know that?" Zzar cocked the head to the side, seeming even interested in what Y/N was saying. "If he knew what his voice does to my legs, he would never speak around me again." Zzar continued to stare at Y/N. "And the worst thing is, he can't even imagine the influence he has on me. I'm a fool, right?" Zzar raised the hind legs and wagged its tail. "Of course I am, I'm pouring my heart out to a dog."

Y/N sighed, her whole body feeling tired but she knew she wouldn't be able to sleep until Chanyeol arrived.

However, being stubborn, she even tried to take a nap, but she turned from side to side, even with her eyes closed, sleep didn't come.

And honestly, that outfit was bothering her. Lying down in jeans and a blouse with pearl details was hurting her, that's why she decided to strip down to her underwear and got out of bed, going to Chanyeol's wardrobe to put on one of his sweatshirts.

She touched his clothes, his perfume was impregnated in everything there, and she laughed softly when she found the famous purple sweatshirt.

It had been so long since she had seen him wear that sweatshirt, she smiled mischievously and put it on right away.

Of course, it was twice her size but it could still read the red 'Sexual fantasies' lettering.

She thought he'd thrown that sweatshirt away, but it was tucked away in the back of his wardrobe.

Y/N took the opportunity to go to the bathroom and Zzar followed after going on its way to who knows where, Y/N laughed at the thought that the dog had also gone to do her business.

After washing her hands, Y/N looked at her reflection in the mirror and laughed as she remembered Sehun's words from the other day.

"Admit it, you're innocent."

Imagine what he and the guys would think to see her wearing that sweatshirt.

Like a click, a rather evil idea flashed through Y/N's head and her eyes widened as she realized what she had been thinking.

Okay, she wasn't that innocent but she wasn't a pervert either.

She left the bathroom, shaking her head as if to dismiss that thought and went back to the bedroom, expecting Zzar's company but the dog wasn't there.

Y/N threw herself on the bed again and looked back at the bedroom ceiling, trying to control her breathing but the idea wouldn't leave her head.

She didn't need to touch herself then and there just to prove to herself that she wasn't as pure as others thought she was.

But on the other hand, no one would ever know. Wearing Chanyeol's sweatshirt in his bed would be like committing a crime.

Maybe not that serious.

But it was dangerous. That's why it was so tempting.

Y/N's breathing started to get heavier as her head convinced her that this was going to be a secret that no one would ever suspect, she brought her thumbnail to her mouth as she pondered practically giving in to temptation.

And she only needed one thing to convince herself, remembering Chanyeol's audio.

His growl had activated something in her, her most intimate and secret fantasies. The most sexual.

Her heart was pounding and she kept her eyes closed as she imagined Chanyeol growling like that in her ear, and then kissing every inch of her neck while his firm and large hands touched her body shamelessly.

How sweet the low moans he would let out, and the dirty words he would speak so close to her ear.

Just imagining it, she shivered all over, her body temperature rose and she felt a certain discomfort in her lower abdomen as well as a fire that rose from her legs to the middle of them.

Y/N took her hand to her panties but figured it was Chanyeol's fingers slowly teasing her.

Now, she needed to finish what she started and she had enough imagination for that.

She was too lost in her own fantasy to hear the front door close, Chanyeol arrived with Toben on his lap.

The poor dog was doped with medicine that would help with the stomach problem it was having, at least he was sure that the little animal was getting better. Chanyeol hated seeing Toben so quiet, it was even weird.

Chanyeol looked for Y/N with his eyes but he didn't find her there so he took the opportunity to take Toben to its bed, after petting the pet's fur, he started looking for Y/N around the house.

She wasn't in the kitchen, he found Zzar sleeping next to the couch but Y/N wasn't there so he just thought she was in his room.

And he wasn't going to complain because he knew how much she liked his bed, and he wasn't planning on going there either because he wanted to curl up on the couch and go to sleep.

However, he didn't even sit on the sofa because he heard a muffled groan. Frowning, he stayed silent to make sure he wasn't delusional and he was sure when he heard it again coming from his room.

Curious, he made his way towards the bedroom in slow, silent steps. Was Y/N having nightmares or…

"Chanyeol." He stopped where he was when he heard the moan now louder and it had nothing to do with dreams, he knew that moan well but not coming from Y/N. That was why his eyes were wide. "Please, faster."

He felt the blood rush through his veins and pool in two places: his ears, which should have been red, and well…his cock.

The sound was low but still erotic. Something he never thought he'd hear from Y/N, it was so sensual that even going against his morals his feet carried him towards the bedroom door.

He swallowed hard and clenched his hands into fists when he had the privileged view of Y/N lying on his bed, with her panties pushed to the side while her fingers entered and left her quickly.

He smirked when he saw that she was wearing his purple sweatshirt.

Naughty, was all he thought.

Chanyeol wasn't even breathing, he wanted to be able to capture every sound Y/N made, be it the pained moans that came out of her mouth or the sound of her fingers desperately touching her intimacy.

"Chanyeol, I wanna cum. Please."

Heavens, he could never have imagined her saying that, but now that he had heard it, he felt every part of his body become electrified.

Y/N panted and arched as her fingers circled her clit, eyes closed as the most pornographic sounds came out he was sure she was close.

Chanyeol felt his pants get tighter and tighter as he got excited to see the scene.

"Fuck, more. Oh my God." and then he saw her squirm and her mouth open in a perfect O as a loud, drawn-out moan echoed through the house. As she moaned his name.

He felt every hair on his body stand on end and it took a lot of self-control not to bring his hand to the erection that was now apparent.

Y/N took a deep breath as spasms followed the orgasm, and Chanyeol felt his mouth water at the sight of her pussy all wet and shiny as Y/N removed her fingers to adjust her panties back into place.

He would have laughed at Y/N's shocked face when she turned her head and saw him standing in the open doorway, if he wasn't completely aroused and ready to do something crazy.

Y/N's mouth opened a few times but no sound came out, it didn't even sound like she was the one moaning seconds ago, and she blinked more than usual. She was speechless.

That's why he took the opportunity to enter the room, being watched by her, and go to the bed, kneeling on the mattress without taking his eyes off her.

Y/N felt her eyes flicker as Chanyeol bent down so that his face was closer to hers, both of their breaths were panting and Y/N didn't even move.

"You're a very bad girl, you know that?" he whispered, bringing a hand to her thigh and Y/N sighed. "And do you know what happens to bad girls?" she shook her head and Chanyeol lightly slapped her skin, making her moan in surprise. "They are punished."

"Please." she asked and he ran his hand over her sodden panties up to the sweatshirt she was wearing.

"Pretty conducive, don't you think?" he referred to the phrase and she bit her bottom lip.

"I was hoping it wasn't just fantasy." She replied quietly and Chanyeol brought his face more close to hers, their noses touching.

"Don't worry, tonight won't be."

[mybiasisexo]

Entangled - Part 11

Pairing: Chanyeol x f.Reader Chapter Warnings: Language Word Count: 8.1k Author Notes: DOUBLE UPDATE BICTHESSSS!!!!! ok this is my big sorry!!! i was gonna post this earlier today but then coachella happened lol and my priorities changed, but we're back!!! tbh....im so scared to post this 😀. Its just a yap fest if im being honest, so if youre not into that....my bad. but ok yes ill stop blabbin. l adore you all pls enjoy 😩

It’s another hour before you leave the restaurant, impossibly full and content.

The ride back is silent. Most of the crew pass out as soon as you’re on the road, Seulgi being one of them. She uses your shoulder as a pillow. It doesn’t look comfortable, but she’s drooling into your clavicle, so it must be. You can’t sleep, so you quietly watch the beautiful dark scenery, ignoring the occasional prickles on your skin from being watched.

Once you’re back at the hotel, you start saying your goodbyes in front of the van. Everyone’s leaving at different times, so it makes sense to do your farewells now while you’re all present.

It’s bittersweet.

Jongdae is the first to approach you, collecting you tightly into his arms.

“Tell Eunhee I missed her this weekend, and congrats,” you tell him.

“Will do and thank you.”

He squeezes the shit out of you, making you yelp in pain. In retaliation, you smack his shoulder and he hisses, escaping to the next person before you can strike again.

You’re rolling your eyes as Jongin makes his way over, chuckling at his friends’ silly antics.

“He’s mean,” you whine.

“I know,” he coos as he hugs you. You instantly relax in his comforting arms. He really should start selling these things.

“It was good seeing you,” he says, making you sway.

“You too,” you say. “I’m sorry for getting you in this mess.”

“Don’t be.” He repeats. He tightens his arms. “It was bound to happen. I still believe it can work out.”

You smile pathetically. As if he can sense it, Jongin kisses the top of your head before separating.

“Make that runway your bitch,” you tell him. He smirks and bows in thanks.

Baekhyun quickly replaces him, pulling you into a firm hug.

“You’ve made this trip far more eventful than it needed to be,” he says in your ear.

“It wasn’t my intention,” you huff into his shirt.

He chuckles. “Look, I know things didn’t end on a good note, but I promise….” He leans back far enough to look into your eyes and says your name. “It can be. Everyone deserves a second chance. Even you, okay?”

The urge to cry hits you hard and you give him a watery smile. “Thank you, Baekhyun. For everything. I’ve gained some respect for you.”

His jutting jaw is the only acknowledgement he gives your last statement. “You don’t have to thank me. I just want my friends to be happy.”

“You’re hogging her.” You’re being yanked away from Baekhyun and he lets go without a fight, waving goodbye before heading inside the hotel.

“Do we have to say our goodbyes right now?” You ask, staring up at the best friend who you aren’t going back to a shared apartment with. “I’m going to cry.”

Sehun sighs before wrapping his arms around you. “Don’t be a baby.”

You’re already fighting tears, and the lump in your throat grows larger. “I’m really going to miss you.”

“I know,” and he sounds like he’s trying his hardest not to get choked up. “I’ll miss you more. I’ll visit Seoul soon. Most likely for Jongdae’s baby shower. I'll even bring Kyungsoo. I know you’ve been curious about him.”

You laugh through your now falling tears. “It’s not me who’s been curious about your little friend. I’m sure Seulgi will be pleased to hear she’ll finally be introduced.”

“Why do you think I’ve been stalling for so long?”

You share a laugh. “Okay. Jongdae’s baby shower isn’t that far away. I can handle that.”

“That works for you?” He asks sarcastically.

“It does. Just make sure to not leave without saying goodbye again, okay?”

He groans like you’re inconveniencing him, but whispers into your hair. “I won’t.”

Satisfied, you break the hug. Now that your arms are free, you wipe your damp face, laughing at how ridiculous you are. Sehun sucks his teeth in faux disapproval. Shaking his head, he lifts a hand in an attempt to help dry your face, but you knock it away. You’re about to tell him to screw off, but you’re interrupted by the clearing of a throat.

You turn towards the sound and startle slightly when you see Chanyeol standing a few steps away. His hands are deep in his pockets as his eyes flicker between Sehun and you. It’s then you notice just how quiet the portico has become, and check your surroundings. Only the three of you and Seulgi are left outside the hotel, everyone else retiring to their rooms. Seulgi is a few feet away, as though she was also leaving but decided to linger for a bit. When your eyes lock, she throws you a knowing grin.

“Sehun,” she calls. “Let me buy you a shot.”

Sehun seems to catch on quickly. “Oh! Can’t say no to a free drink, can I?”

His eyes never leave yours as he speaks, conveying an important message. ‘Talk to him and get your closure.’

He pats you before sauntering over to Seulgi, throwing an arm around her shoulders to drag her into the hotel.

Now alone, you give in and face Chanyeol.

There isn’t a flicker of the animosity or detachment you saw on the boardwalk the night before, and you aren’t sure if that’s a good thing or not. He’s admiring you, not with disgust or lust, just looking. The lack of emotion has you curious about what's going on in his head.

“Everyone’s said goodbye except us,” he finally says.

You lift an eyebrow. “Does last night not count?”

He frowns. “Do you want it to?”

“No, it’s not that!” You quickly correct. “It’s just that my decisions always hurt you in the end, so I understand if you never want to speak to me again.”

Your eyes water at the thought of going back to strangers with Chanyeol, of losing him again. But, you know you don’t deserve to ask him to stay. If he’s done trying with you, you’ll accept it without complaint. it’s the least you can do after the pain you’ve caused him these past couple days.

He turns away from you, as if he can’t stand to see your tears. One of his hands pats at his thigh as he squints at the beach in the distance.

“We’ve both made poor decisions.” he sighs heavily. “But yesterday was really really bad. I no longer know if there can be an ‘us’ after this. Maybe you're right. Maybe we’ve grown too far apart, and the people we are today aren’t able to love each other like we used to.”

He takes a deep breath and you brace yourself for his rejection. “It wasn’t until dinner that it really hit me, that today is our last day here. I don’t want to leave, to go back to Seoul, and continue living as I did before the wedding. I can’t. Not after seeing you again. I don’t want to leave Jeju with any regrets, and if we leave things like this, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.”  

“Me too,” you admit. “I’ll regret it too. I already regret so much.”

“Do you regret us?”

“No. Never. I regret where we are now, but I’ll never regret you, Park Chanyeol.”

Your throat tightens from the confession, hating how it sounds like a farewell on your tongue.

You swear his eyes gloss over, but he hides it quickly by turning his head to look behind him. When he faces you again, his features are under control. He tilts his head in the direction he just checked. “Walk with me?”

This is it, and you know it. The last chance with Chanyeol. The inevitable talk you’d been skirting around all weekend. Now is the chance to have your closure, and Chanyeol is giving it to you. If you decline, what is left of your bridge will be burnt for good, keeping you both on opposite ends with no chance of return.

You’re relieved that he offers to walk. When you imagine this conversation, it’s always in Chanyeol’s suite, and you’re honestly not strong enough to ever go back there. The memories are too fresh, and you have zero faith in your self control when it comes to him.

So, you eagerly agree to his request and follow him as he starts walking down the sidewalk. It’s silent as he leads you away from the hotel, taking a path that heads towards the city not too far away. Chanyeol’s steps seem sure, and it makes you wonder if he has a certain place in mind.

He answers your unasked question five minutes later, when you take notice of a faint glowing in the distance. Chanyeol throws a couple nervous glances your way, and the shift in his demeanor has you alert.

You walk a few more feet before you can fully see a white gazebo on the edge of the sandy beach. Golden fairy lights dangle off the sides, making a surreal romantic atmosphere.

You stop dead in your tracks. Chanyeol halts beside you, intently watching your reaction.

“Do you remember this place?” he asks, voice thick with controlled emotion.

You do.

You climb up the steps into the gazebo. A wooden bench wraps around the walls and vines with pink flowers curl around the thin poles connecting to the rounded roof. You stop a little before the center and turn to Chanyeol who stayed back, allowing you a moment to yourself.

“This is where you proposed to me.”

The lights reflect off his round eyes, softening them. Or maybe it’s the memory you both share. A day that you will never forget.

It was your senior trip. Come to think of it, there are many similarities to the one you’re currently on. All of your college friends came to Jeju and stayed at the same hotel, thanks to Junmyeon. You were in a different suite that time, with a different roommate. For five days, the gang ran around the city, exploring and partying. Basking in the last moments you all had before fully joining the real world. Well, Jongdae, Baekhyun, Junmyeon, and Chanyeol had already graduated, but that didn’t stop them from acting like it was their last moments as well. Speaking of Chanyeol, the two of you were deeply in love by that point. You were that nauseating couple that would get lost in your own little world, gravitating around each other in your own solar system. The last day of the trip, he had talked you into having a girl’s day with Seulgi. You were hesitant, because you wanted to spend the last day with him, but he assured you that you’d have him all to yourself that night.

That was enough to have Seulgi drag you around town, taking you to get pampered with a spa and convincing you to let her buy you a dress that she was adamant you had to wear later that night. Little did you know she was in on a plan being prepared behind your back. 

When the sun was setting, you followed her to where you thought you were going to meet up with everyone else for dinner, and were confused when she dragged you to the middle of the beach. That was when you spotted the gazebo. There were pink and white balloons on the far side across the entrance. And in the center, dressed in a fancy black suit, stood Park Chanyeol.

You glared accusingly at Seulgi, who just laughed and shoved you into the gazebo. Your heart raced dangerously fast, nearly drowning out the speech Chanyeol prepared for you. It was beautiful. Chanyeol, ever the poet, poured his heart to you, tearing up as he explained his endless love and devotion.

Then he dropped to one knee and pulled out a ring from his pants. You’d later chastise him for not keeping it in its box. He held it up and it shimmered against the lights surrounding you, but it paled in comparison to the shimmering in Chanyeol’s eyes.

‘Will you continue to be the melody of my life’s song?’ He asked. ‘Will you marry me?’

You were screaming yes before he could finish his question. His smile was blinding as he slid the ring onto your finger and you pounced on him. He held you tightly, lifting you up with him as he stood, and buried his face into your neck as you both cried. You hadn’t noticed all of your friends poking around the outside of the gazebo, popping streamers and cheering as you held onto your soulmate and cried with a happiness and love you knew only a few people have genuinely felt. You were so lucky to have Park Chanyeol. You were so lucky to be loved by him….

You blink.

“That was the best day of my life,” he whispers.

“Mine too,” you admit.

You turn away, not able to handle the tenderness he carries.

He tentatively enters the gazebo, sitting on the bench near the entrance. “I stumbled across it after our… conversation last night. It felt fitting. A reminder of why we’re here.”

Indeed. This was the beginning of the end of you. It makes sense to end this trip here, to end your relationship here. If that’s what you were doing.

You wrap your arms around your stomach, holding yourself together because you’re already at your limit and know you’re about to shatter. Your back still faces Chanyeol, not ready to see the way the fairy lights warm his handsome face. 

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I should have told you where I was taking you. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“I’m not upset,” you assure. It’s not a lie, but it’s not completely true. You aren’t upset with him for bringing you here. If anything, you need to see this place. You finally turn to face him and the stark difference of how he looks now compared to the last time you saw him under this roof is startling. He wore no fancy suit, only casual khaki pants and a cream button down shirt. His hair blows gently in the breeze, longer and lighter than on that day, and his expression has lost the confidence and joy that was hard to hide then. He is now a shadow of the man that proposed to you, he is a man who has lost the one thing he thought he’d have forever. “It’s just a lot.”

He nods in agreement. “Do you want to leave?”

“No. I agree with you. This is the perfect spot. We can talk here if that’s what you want.” Again, you make sure to let him know that you’re doing this on his terms. He’s in charge here. You’ll be truthful, you’ll answer any question honestly, and you’ll let him be the one to decide how this trip ends.

“Where should we start?” he asks as you make your way over to sit beside him. You make sure to leave some space, knowing how distance can skew your train of thought around him.

“Let’s start with this,” you begin. “What do you want from this conversation?”

“I just want us to not avoid each other the next time we’re in the same room.”

“You think we can be friends?” You ask, genuinely curious of his answer.

He shrugs feebly. “If that’s all we can be. I'd rather have you in my life as a friend than not in it at all.”

You’re not a fan of his answer. Earlier, you told him that you didn’t think you could ever be his friend, and you still believe that. The thought of him actually moving on one day, and having to watch him regard somebody else the way he did you has your heart squeezing in agony. Seeing him with Yerim has been difficult as it is, imagining him with someone he actually loves leaves you disturbed.

Tell him, the Baekhyun in your head urges. Tell him how you really feel.

You already tried to last night. You still have so much love for Chanyeol, but sometimes that’s simply not enough. There’s still too much left unsaid, blocking the path to a future that can possibly end with you back together. The ball that’s always been in your court has now rolled over onto his side, and you aren’t sure if he’s going to pick it up or kick it away and finally put this long game to rest.

But he deserves that choice. Chanyeol has been so strong for you. He’s given you up multiple times, has had his heart broken because of you far more times than you have by him. You owe it to him to choose what he wants for himself. As much as you’d rather part ways on good terms and continue living as you have–without him in your life–if Chanyeol still wants you in his, you’ll suck it up and be present. Because you know for a fact that if the roles were reversed, he’d do the same with no complaint.

Still hurts like a bitch though.

Not yet, you tell your inner Baekhyun, ignoring the way he rolls his eyes. You don’t need his sass right now.

“If that’s what you want,” you push through the tightening of your throat. “Then we should start off easy. How did you end up at Junmyeon’s wedding with Yerim as your date?”

He coughs a shocked laugh. “If that’s the easiest topic, we’re going to be here til the sun rises.”

You shrug a shoulder. “That’s fine with me.”

He watches you for a moment before dropping his head to look at his hands that lay limply between his parted thighs. “As soon as I got Junmyeon’s announcement, I thought of you. I knew you were going to be there, and I couldn’t shake this feeling that you were going to bring a date. The idea of seeing you being happy with your new boyfriend, while I had no one, made me sick. I began to panic, because I didn’t want to be the loser who hadn’t moved on. I wanted you to think I no longer cared. I needed a date.”

That makes you pity him a bit, and you feel bad for calling him an asshole. The intentions behind it are anything but. He was trying to protect himself, and that’s nothing to make fun of.

“And then you met Yerim.”

“And then I met Yerim.” He sinks further into the bench and your ears perk at the name. It hits you then that it’s the first time you’ve heard Chanyeol speak her name. Was he being respectful towards you by neglecting to voice the name of the ‘other’ woman in your picture? Or maybe that was his poor attempt at pretending she didn’t exist while in your presence. Intrigued, you study the way the syllables left his mouth. It’s said with contrition, and that jealous part of you that you’re surprised to still find vanishes with content.

“I don’t know if you remember,” he continues, unaware of the healing already being done to you. “But she works at the cafe near my job. If I’m being honest, I’d been going there for months and hadn’t paid her any mind. I just knew she made the best Americano I’ve ever had in my life! But, after some time, it was kind of obvious she had a little crush on me. Although I was flattered, I never pursued it because I was never interested. That didn’t stop her from being bold. She always made a point to have a conversation with me, even when they were slammed, and I guess she wore me down. Our little talks started becoming the highlights of my days, and I started paying her more attention.”

His story brings to mind a few times Yerim mentioned a cute customer to you. How wild is it that Chanyeol is the customer she’d always tell you about.

“She is funny,” you acknowledge begrudgingly. “And pretty.”

“She is,” he agrees, and you guess your jealousy hasn’t vanished after all. “But, that’s not what ultimately drew me to her.”

“What was it then?”

He avoids your gaze. “She reminded me of you.”

“Oh!” Okay, now your jealousy is officially gone.

“Yeah. Oh. The more Yerim and I talked, the more she sounded like you. Now it makes sense, because you’re close friends so you must’ve rubbed off on her. But, at the time, it really felt like I was getting a second chance. How could I not fall for her when she acted so much like you?”

Your eyebrows raise at that. You’ve never noticed your influence on Yerim, but apparently it’s strong enough to catch your ex’s attention. In a strange way, you are the reason they got together. You’re not sure how to react to the fact. Part of you is sympathetic towards them both, at the fact Chanyeol only liked Yerim because of you. But you’re also flattered and a bit proud for ruining him so much. 

Even though you think you know the answer, this conversation is all about honesty, so you have to confirm something. “Did you like her? Like that? You’ve been pretty adamant about her not being your girlfriend.”

“She wasn’t,” he’s still quick to deny. “And I didn’t. At the start I thought I did. Well, I thought I could fall for her. Maybe if we had time before the wedding to actually get to know each other outside of the cafe, I would have. But the timing was bad. She tried, she really did. But I was too distracted by what was about to happen to give her my full attention, and once I saw you, all thoughts of Yerim went out the window.”

“That’s why you kicked her out?”

“It is. But, I’m getting ahead of myself.” He backtracks, continuing his story where he left off. “The main reason for me being so adamant on bringing a date was to prove to everybody, including myself, that I was completely over you. But, the fact that I started pursuing someone because they reminded me of you should have been the first sign I wasn’t. Still, I ignored it, and when the wedding got brought up, I saw my perfect opportunity. She agreed all too easily.”

“Like fate.”

“It felt like that. Like it was too perfect. Baekhyun said it was a dumb idea. He told me I wasn’t going to get you back that way. I told him I didn’t want you back. As you can imagine, he didn’t believe me.”

“Did you even believe you?”

“I did,” he defends, slightly offended. “I thought enough time had passed, and thinking about you didn’t hurt as much as it had. Sure, I didn’t know if I was capable of ever loving someone as much as I loved you, and I had built some walls after us, but I was ready to try again. And I was going to prove it during dinner. I wanted to make you feel the same as I did. I figured we both could suffer a little, and I…I wanted to hurt you. But, even though I knew you were going to be there, I still wasn’t prepared for the shock of finally seeing you in person. All that bravado I had vanished the moment I saw you. Especially after I realized you did not, in fact, have a date.”

“Technically, I did,” you correct. “Seulgi was my date.”

“Should I have been worried about her?” he asks skeptically.

You can’t miss the opportunity to tease him. “A lot can happen in a couple years. Who knows? We could’ve been inlaws.”

His face pinches in disgust. “That’s a sick joke, Me….”

He lets the petname die on his tongue, unsure if that’s something he still wants to call you.

“I deserve that,” you mumble and attempt a reassuring smile. He takes one look at your stretched lips and immediately starts nervously nibbling on his own. You sense his internal battle, fighting the instinct to defend you while also agreeing with what you said.

The light atmosphere you created dissipates as quickly as it comes.

He clears his throat. “Anyways, that’s why I brought Yerim. I wanted to get a reaction out of you.”

“And did you get the reaction you wanted?” You ask.

“In the grand scheme of things, I guess I did. But at the moment, I didn’t think so. It felt more like it backfired on me. That whole dinner I tried to taunt you by using Yerim, but you never took the bait. You didn’t care at all. That hurt more than I’d like to admit. Especially because your presence was eating me up inside.”

“I’m a better actress than I give myself credit for if you couldn’t see how affected I was. I pretty much went through exactly what you were afraid of happening to you, with an extra brutal layer of personally knowing the date. Trust me when I say you succeeded.”

“It doesn’t feel like a victory,” he shares. “As soon as dinner was over, I realized Baekhyun was right, bringing Yerim was dumb. I was overwhelmed with all these old resurfacing feelings, and all I could think about was you. How was I going to see you again, and what would I say when I did. I made some pretty rash decisions, like kicking Yerim out of our room because I didn’t want you to think we were sleeping together, and then forgetting to have breakfast with her the next morning like I promised because I talked to you the night before. Our conversation was proof that I wasn’t alone in these old feelings, and gave me the courage to attempt to pursue you. It wasn’t a lot, and you were really drunk, but you kept giving me this look I was very familiar with, and I couldn’t deny it if I tried.”

“A look?” You question, having no idea what he’s referring to. He’s never told you about a look before.

“Yes.” He sounds tortured thinking about it. “You get this look on your face whenever you want me to lean down to kiss you. These past few days, we’d argue, you’d tell me how wrong this situation was, and then you’d stare up at me with those eyes of yours. I could never forget that expression, it’s one of my favorites. So, I’d try to oblige you, and at the last second, you’d push me away, and I’d go back to my room and yell in frustration. It was frustrating, knowing you still wanted me, even if you weren’t aware of it, all because of the way you’d look at me.”

Hell. He really can read you like a book.

“So, you ended things with her because of the way I was looking at you?” You confirm.

“I broke up with Yerim because I was leading her on,” he corrects. “But also, I can admit that I was being selfish, and she was in the way of what I truly wanted. You. I knew with her out of the picture, you’d be less…resistant.”

“What did you expect would happen?” You implore. “You’d tell me you broke things off with her and I’d come running back into your arms? Was that the plan?”

“I don’t know,” he answers honestly. “Maybe that you’d lower your guard and stop fighting me. But, I mean, you did run back to me not long after she left….”

You narrow your eyes. “That was because of the wedding.”

“I thought we were being honest with each other?”

That shuts you up. He knows he got you there, if the smug look on his face is any indicator.

“Fine,” you relent. “I most likely wouldn’t have done that had Yerim still been here.”

He bows his head in gratitude for your honesty.

“Alright,” you drawl, fiddling with your fingers. “It’s your turn to ask me a question.”

Chanyeol inhales deeply, and you know it’s going to be a difficult one.

“Last night,” he starts, and you already dread what’s next. “You said that you couldn’t get over what happened the last time we were together.”

“I did.”

“It made me realize that I hurt you way more than I thought I did. You’d mentioned it a couple times, but I didn’t get it… not until now.”

“I may have called off the engagement,” you say. “But it was you, Chanyeol, who ultimately broke us up.”

“Is that how you see it?” He asks, a darkness creeping into his tone.

“How else am I?” You retort. “I asked to get back together and you said yes.”

“I didn’t realize….” He shook his head in denial. “I wasn’t listening.”

“I gathered,” you scoff, growing irritated. “That day I had worked up the courage to call you. It had been a year since we’d last seen each other–”

“Ten and a half months. But who’s counting?” he cuts you off to say.

“Ten and a half months,” you correct. “I felt so stupid because of that. I made such a big show of leaving you, just to beg for you back not even a year later.”

“I wouldn’t have seen it that way,” he says. “I was waiting for that call. To me, those ten and a half months felt more like years.”

“I wish I’d known that then, because I was so nervous. I feared the worst. That you would be angry at me for ending things just to come back so soon. Or worse. That you’d somehow moved on during that time, or realized that you were no longer in love with me. It was that fear that drove me to come up with a cover, an excuse to get you to come over.”

“The ring,” he realizes, jaw clenching at the grim reminder.

“Yeah,” you confirm. “I had it all planned out. I’d tell you that you needed to come over so that you could take it back, but then I’d confess and ask for another chance.”

“You could’ve just told me you missed me,” he says. “It would’ve been just as effective. Actually, more. I would’ve been there faster.”

“I couldn’t just tell you that,” you explain. “I didn’t want to come off desperate. But, I admit, using the ring was the worst thing I could’ve done. I swear I had no intention of giving it back.”

“You were very convincing in acting like it was,” he mutters. “I didn’t even have time to ask how you’d been before you were sitting it on the table. I was hoping you weren’t being serious. But as soon as I saw you, it was obvious you’d changed. It hadn’t been that long, but you were different. You didn’t want me anymore.”

“I didn’t need you anymore, Chanyeol. I still wanted you, if later that night was any indicator.”

“You couldn’t stop raving about how much better your life was now that I was no longer in it! I had to listen to you go on and on about your great new life without me, all while staring at your engagement ring. It was the first time I’d ever seen it not on your finger, and it felt like a punch to the damn gut! My heart was breaking all over again, but there was no hope to latch onto this time.”

His words are enlightening. Despite your attempts at blocking the memory, you remember that night in great detail. You remember how sweaty your palms were from the nerves, to the point you couldn’t even hold a glass of water. You remember the wave of relief that swept over you when you opened the door to see Chanyeol on the other side. You remember his expression, the conflicting emotions of love and hope, battling against reluctance and defeat. Putting the ring on the table was also due to nerves. You wanted to keep pretenses for a little longer, but the way he had zeroed in on the piece of jewelry worried you so much you began rambling.

He never took his eyes off that ring. You remember that clearly. It made you panic, and in a poor attempt to fill the silence, you started updating him on your life. You told him about the job you had just gotten that you’d been dying to get, about your hesitant plans on moving in with Seulgi, about the trips you had taken, anything to get him to react. He didn’t. By that point, you decided to get to the main reason for inviting him. You remember easing into it, telling him you had a lot of time to think about what you wanted in life, and had succeeded in your mission to find yourself. You were ready, if he was still willing. You were ready to become his wife.

He didn’t say anything. Hadn’t moved an inch.

You were positive he hadn’t blinked once during your monologue. Was he angry? Of course he was! That’s when you realized you’d made an irreversible mistake and was now living through the consequences. Maybe he didn’t want you back. Maybe you put too much faith in his love for you. Now looking back on it, you felt a lot like you do at this moment. If Chanyeol was done with you, you’d let him leave. You were going to put him first this time.

‘Chanyeol?’ you called gently. That seemed to bring him back. His eyelids fluttered and he straightened in his chair, pulling away from the ring to finally look at you. You were mesmerized by the richness of his eyes, they were prettier than you recalled, but maybe that was the unshed tears reflecting off the lights overhead. His mouth had fallen open, eyebrows lifted in a question, and you cleared your throat and forced yourself to blink, to break the intimate contact.

‘Are we good?’ You asked, voice shaking in apprehension. You were terrified of his answer, terrified of this being the end of you. Yet, you were prepared for rejection.

‘Yeah, we're good,’ he said. Not expecting that, you stared at him in shock for a moment until reality hit. He was taking you back! Instantly, you felt silly for doubting him. Of course he was taking you back. He already told you that he’d always love you. Feeling giddy with excitement, you weren’t even thinking when you reached out to him….

“I didn’t….” Chanyeol seems to also be back in that living room, reliving that dreadful day. “I couldn’t listen to you brag about your newfound happiness. It was like you were trying to hurt me. So, I stopped listening. Next thing I knew, you’re saying my name and like an idiot, I look at you. You asked me if we were good. I was confused, because you were obviously nervous, but I assumed you just wanted to leave on good terms. So, I agreed. ‘Sure, we’re good’.

….And then you kissed him.

“And then you kissed me.” His eyebrows furrow in the confusion he still feels. “And nothing else mattered after that. Not the ring, not the break up. Just you.”

Chanyeol gives you a Look of his own, and the moment turns tender.

Except all those feelings from the morning after bubbled up to the surface, and you despise the softness of his gaze. 

“That was until the morning, right?” You say bitterly. “Then I didn’t matter at all.”

“That’s not–”

“You left me!” You snap. His mouth audibly shuts at the rise of your voice. “You agreed to get back together, had sex with me, disappeared in the morning, took the ring, and blocked me on everything so that I couldn’t get ahold of you! You claim it was because you were afraid of being used, but that’s what you ended up doing! You used me, Chanyeol, and I haven’t been the same since. You destroyed me! ”

“I didn’t use you!” He pleads. “Stop looking at me like that. You told me you didn’t hate me.”

“I don’t,” you say. “I’m just trying to understand. Was it one last fuck for old times’ sake?”

“God, no! Don’t say it like that. I’ve never ‘fucked’ you. That’s not what that night meant to me.”

“Then what did it mean?” You beg for answers. “If it wasn’t your get back, if it wasn’t you confirming our relationship. What the fuck did it mean to you?”

He meets your gaze, determination igniting within him. “It meant everything to me! That kiss may have felt like the beginning to you, but for me, it was an ending. And I had something to prove. If that was going to be our last night together, I was going to give you every last piece of me. I wanted you to feel my love deep inside your bones, so that you could never forget what it felt like to be truly loved by me. I wanted to ruin you, so that any man that touched you after would pale in comparison. I wanted you to yearn for me on lonely nights, to miss me even if it was a fraction of the loss I was going to feel. I wanted you to still want me.”

Your breathing hitches at his explanation, because you’d be damned if that’s not exactly what he did. Your body awakens from his words, desperately calling for him the way it always has. You battle with the need to pull him close and have him sink into your soul. He made sure to leave his mark on you that night, to carve a hole deep within your heart that could never regrow. You’ve felt that emptiness since, carried it unknowingly. And now that you’ve been reunited, you see that he still holds that chunk with him. Chanyeol still possesses the missing piece to your heart.

The fire inside him seems to diminish once his speech is done. Now guilt slumps his shoulders and lowers his head.

“That morning….” He licks his dry lips. “It was a lapse of judgment.” You can’t help but wonder if he’s told himself this multiple times throughout the years to rationalize his decision. “Leaving you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my entire life. You have to believe me. It took everything to get out of your bed, everything to touch that ring. Everything to leave your life for good.”

“But I didn’t want you to,” you confess, on the verge of tears. 

“I know,” he whispers, eyes just as glossy as yours. “I know that now. But, at the time, it was too impossible a dream to even fathom. I had to protect my heart too, you know?”

You did. He had every right to keep his guard up, even if it was at the detriment of your own feelings. 

“And trust me when I say,” he continues. “I suffered too. I hated myself just as much as you did. I still do. Knowing that I broke you so badly…. I can’t even put into words how sorry I am. The last thing I ever want to do is hurt you.” He says your name. “That night was no exception.”

“You literally just said that you brought Yerim to hurt me,” you point out with a sniff.

“Right.” He winces. “But, that’s the only time, I swear!”

He reaches for your hands and you let him hold them. They’re big and warm and the contact soothes you. “Had I known…. Had I listened to you that night, I would have never left. If I knew that kiss meant so much more than a goodbye, we would’ve been married the next week. It’s my fault for not listening and for leaving without an explanation. I hurt us both that day. I’ll accept that now. I’m so fucking sorry, Mel.”

Him calling you Mel again is enough to make you finally shatter. Leaning against him, you press your forehead to his chest as sobs rack your own. He pulls you into his arms, rocking you back and forth as apologies fall from his mouth. You can hear the tears he sheds.

You both cry until you’re dried out, and as the gazebo quiets Chanyeol still holds you.

Once you’ve collected yourself, you speak through a stuffy nose. “I’m sorry too.”

Chanyeol stops swaying at the sound of your voice, so you continue. “I held a lot of animosity for what you did, but I ended up doing the same thing to you.”

“You were confused–”

“It’s no excuse. I left because I was scared, but I still hurt you.” You pull back so that you can show him your sincerity and finally own up for the things you did. “I’ve been playing with you this whole trip, because of my indecisiveness. I’ve been leading you on for days, pushing and pulling away, and you don’t deserve that. No matter our past, you don’t deserve to be treated the way I’ve been treating you.”

“Thank you,” he accepts with a sniff.

“No, thank you,” you counter. “For explaining yourself, and for giving me a chance to explain myself as well. You didn’t owe me anything after what I did to you.”

“You didn’t do anything–”

“You don’t have to protect me anymore, Chanyeol. We’re past that now, aren’t we?”

He grows contemplative at that. “After our night together, much like when you kissed me all those years ago, I assumed we were back together.” As he speaks, he dries your wet face with his hands. You close your eyes, savoring his touch just in case it’s the last. “So when you denied it at the beach, I was hurt. I didn’t understand your reluctance, and I couldn’t figure out what was so wrong with me that you kept rejecting me. It wasn’t until after our fight, when I kept pushing and pushing and yet you still didn’t want me, that I took off the rose tinted glasses and reality set in. Seeing you again, at the place where our love was at its peak, it was easy to forget all the ways we went wrong. You were back in my life, and that was the important part. In my mind, we’d figure everything else out later. Because of that, I didn’t take your feelings into consideration, and I was moving way too fast. I guess, deep down, I knew that I had fucked up and was trying to make up for it. But you weren’t ready, and let's be honest, I’m not ready either. I thought about your offer to give it some time once we’re back in Seoul to separate the past from the present. I’d like to take you up on it, if it still stands.”

You’re relieved to know he finally understands what you were trying to explain to him yesterday. That it wasn’t necessarily a no, just a not-right-now. 

“I would like that,” you admit. 

You both smile at each other, taking in the other unabashedly in your safe space. You catch him glance down at your lips and pout. “Unfortunately, I don’t think I’ll ever not be attracted to you. Is that bad?”

You can’t help but laugh. “I think this trip is proof of how bad it can be, but I feel the same regardless.”

He lets out a sigh full of longing, and nervous about the changing atmosphere around you both, you speak. “Let’s make it a pact then. After we leave tomorrow, we’ll continue living as we had before the wedding, and after some time has passed, we’ll meet up and decide if this is something we actually want to try again, or if we should officially move on.”

“How long?” He asks.

You hum as you think of what a good enough time could be. “Jongdae’s baby shower is in four months. Do you think that’s enough time?”

His eyes take on a familiar shimmer. “I think it’s perfect.”

Chanyeol gets to his feet and pulls you up onto yours. You expect him to start walking back, but instead he pulls you deeper into the gazebo, until he’s standing in the center. 

“How did I do it again?” he mumbles before sinking onto one knee, and your heart lurches into your throat.

“Chanyeol, what are you doing?” You choke.

He holds your left hand, thumb sliding over where your engagement ring once sat. He lifts his head to gaze up at you, and the fairy lights ahead douse him in a golden hue, sparkling in the dark depths of his soul. He now fully embodies the man he was four years ago, and you have a hard time differentiating what year you're in.

Your full name falling from his lips makes you focus on the present. “The last time I was here, I proposed to you, so it’s only fitting I do it again. I’m sorry, but I don’t have a ring this time.”

“Probably for the best,” you wheeze, still overwhelmed.

“Tonight, I’m proposing a deal. That we leave here and figure our shit out, and on the day of Jongdae’s baby shower, we will come to an agreement on how we will pursue this relationship. We will decide to either date again, stay strictly platonic, or become nonexistent. Do you agree to the terms?”

“Yes.” You agree.

Chanyeol smiles largely, and pretends to put a ring on your finger before kissing it. “Then it’s a deal.”

With that, he stands up and you look at him expectantly.

“There’s that look,” he whispers before obliging your unspoken request by leaning down to kiss you.

You kiss as though it’s the last time you ever will, savoring the other and indulging in such a forbidden touch. Whenever you think Chanyeol’s about to break it, he merely tilts his head the other way to deepen it and you giggle and fall right back into your perfect rhythm. A slow warm heat builds from your core, up to your chest, to burn in your throat. Surprisingly, it’s not arousal. It’s something more grounding, more brittle. It’s affection, it’s grief.

It’s love.

The two of you pull apart eventually, staring deep into each other’s eyes as you attempt to catch your breaths.

“There,” Chanyeol says, voice gravelly and deep, as though he just woke up. “Sealed with a kiss.”

You’re smiling, and it all feels so bittersweet, you think you may also be crying again.

“I….” Chanyeol brushes your hair back. Whatever he’s about to say–and you have a suspicious feeling you might know what it is–he decides to keep to himself. Instead, he presses another kiss to your forehead and untangles himself from you. “Let’s go back. I have an early flight.”

The walk to the hotel is peacefully silent. You don’t hold hands or anything, but you’re close enough to have your arm brush his occasionally. When you’re in the elevator, you stand on opposite sides of the cart, just as you had a couple nights ago. He’s smiling at you, and it’s so sweet and boyish, you can’t help but smile back. The action makes his smile grow wider.

When you’re deposited onto your floor, he walks you to your door.

“Sorry for all the drama,” you say as you dig for your room key.

“I wouldn’t have had it any other way.” He grins at you, nudging your shoulder with his arm.

Opening the door, you pause and turn to him. He meets your gaze expectantly.

“See you at the baby shower?” You ask anxiously.

He nods. “I’ll see you at the baby shower, Mel.”

Reassured, you head inside, closing the door quietly behind you. Your heart is pounding a million miles a second, and you take a moment to calm it down with deep breaths. It doesn’t help much. You’re too excited. You’re…hopeful. You know that whatever you decide on the day you see Chanyeol again, he’ll be on the same page. 

You finally got your closure, and are now ready for a new chapter, with or without him. And that doesn’t scare you nearly as much as it had this morning. You’ll never let him know, but Sehun was right. The talk was much needed.

You get ready for bed, and take in the room you spent some of the most stressful days in. You find you’re going to miss this place. Maybe next year you can book the same room, you think as you crawl into bed and fall into a peaceful slumber, knowing all but one of the knots in your rope have finally been untangled.

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[yeolsaintlaurent]

Nocturnal Reverie ch.11 [PCY]

pairing - chanyeol x fem reader

genre - mature, smut, angst

themes - power imbalance, romance, crime, justice, class divide, politics, sex

synopsis - In the sprawling, dystopian city of Emberhaven, where power and corruption reign supreme, the lives of two unlikely individuals collide in a tale of passion, intrigue, and moral reckoning. Chanyeol, an enigmatic and wealthy scion of the city's elite, finds himself captivated by the elusive Y/N, a cunning and resourceful thief who navigates the treacherous underworld of Emberhaven. Their first encounter, sparked by a chance meeting in a luxurious club called The Velvet Lounge, sets the stage for a whirlwind romance amidst a backdrop of crime, politics, and danger.

warnings - drug use, kidnapping

A/N - i am so so so glad to be back and writing. thank you for reading this series after my long ass hiatus. so many notifications kept popping up during the hiatus about likes and reblogs on Nocturnal Reverie and CVMF and it always made me smile and filled with joy. i am very grateful for all the readers new and old. as always, let me know what you think about this chapter. feedback is always welcome. love you all xx

edit : changed the message at the end

Chapter 11: The Message

Y/N stirred awake in Chanyeol's bed, the sheets cool beside her where he should have been. She reached out instinctively but found only emptiness. Frowning, she glanced at the clock on the bedside table. 11 AM. He must have gone out early. Maybe he had things to take care of.

Yawning, she got up and padded toward the kitchen. Her cat, a sleek, black feline named Kat, greeted her with a purr and a brush against her legs. She picked him up, rubbing his belly affectionately. He purred louder, a comforting sound in the quiet apartment.

"Good morning, Kat," she murmured, setting him down to fill his bowls with wet food, dry food, and fresh water. He meowed appreciatively before diving into his breakfast.

Opening the fridge, Y/N found a carton of strawberry juice and took a long swig straight from it. She smiled to herself, enjoying the small luxuries of Chanyeol’s well-stocked kitchen. His fancy coffee machine caught her eye, and she decided to make herself a caramel macchiato. As the machine whirred to life, her thoughts wandered to Chanyeol.

She still knew so little about what he did for a living. He had mentioned something about cutting off his family and wanting to start a new life, but the details were vague. What could have been so important that he took such a drastic step? He had said it was something that didn’t align with his values, but why? And what exactly had he done?

The rich aroma of coffee filled the kitchen, snapping her out of her reverie. Her macchiato was ready. She poured it into a mug and carried it to the lounge, sinking into the plush couch. She turned on the TV, flicking through channels until she stopped at the news.

The headline on the screen made her freeze. "Apartment Fire in Emberhaven: Possible Arson." Her heart skipped a beat. The image of the burning building filled the screen. It was her apartment.

“Oh no,” she whispered, clutching the mug tightly. Whoever did this was sending her a message, and she received it loud and clear. Lucio’s men. It had to be them.

The reporter’s voice cut through her shock. "We have an interview with the lead investigator on the scene." The camera switched to a familiar face. Minseok.

“We believe the perpetrator is someone we’ve been monitoring for a long time,” Minseok said, his expression grim.

Y/N's mind raced. Was he talking about Lucio or her? She turned off the TV and leaned back, closing her eyes. Things were getting worse. She had to find a way to fix this before anyone else got hurt.

Reaching for her phone, she quickly sent a message to Kai. She waited for a response, but none came. As she was about to set her phone down, a notification popped up from a private number. Her heart pounded as she opened it.

"Come here at 10:30 PM tonight with the money and goods, and all will be forgiven", with a pin to what seemed to be an obscure alley leading to the docks.

A million thoughts raced through her mind. This could be her way out, but it could also be a trap. Whatever it was, it was her problem to solve, her burden to bear. She wouldn’t drag Chanyeol into this mess, not when she loved him as much as she did. She had to protect him, even if it meant facing the danger alone.

At the police station, Minseok sat behind his desk, the clutter of papers and case files spread before him. He was deep in conversation with a fellow officer about the fire when his phone rang, the harsh sound cutting through the room. He picked up the receiver, his expression hardening as the warden's grim voice crackled through the line.

"Lucio has escaped. Four of our officers are dead."

Minseok's face twisted in anger. "What the hell were you doing while this happened? How could you let a high-profile mobster away?" His voice was a mix of fury and disbelief.

The warden's response was muffled, but the weight of the news hit Minseok like a freight train. This was troubling beyond measure. He slammed the receiver down, his mind racing with the implications. They had to act fast.

Grabbing his cellphone, he dialed Kyungsoo. The phone barely rang twice before Kyungsoo answered.

"Lucio escaped," Minseok said without preamble. "We need to accelerate our plans. This is escalating faster than we anticipated."

Kyungsoo's voice was steady. "Understood. What do you need?"

"We need to find Lucio again, and fast. But there's more. The apartment that was torched—it was supposed to be abandoned. But the remains suggest someone was living there. A woman. I don’t think it is farfetched to assume that it could be the girl we saw during the sting."

There was a brief pause on the other end of the line. Kyungsoo's mind raced. He had his suspicions about who she might be based on his conversations with Chanyeol, but he kept his voice neutral. "I'll handle the matter of the girl. It's my responsibility to find out more about her."

Minseok agreed, albeit reluctantly. "Fine. But I'm increasing the number of people in this case. We need to catch Lucio, and fast. Once we have him, we can move on to Dom."

"I'll keep you updated," Kyungsoo said before hanging up. He couldn't shake the feeling that things were about to get even more complicated.

Y/N stood in the dimly lit alley, the shadows swallowing her slight figure clad in all black. She checked her phone screen for the time—10:15 PM. The cold night air bit at her skin as she waited for any message from the unknown sender. She took a deep breath and sent her live location to Kai. She knew he had her back, no matter what. Their bond was forged in childhood, built on trust and countless shared secrets. She smiled at the thought of how she used to entrust him with her precious beanie baby toys and her weekly allowance.

Suddenly, the alley was flooded with bright headlights. She squinted against the harsh light, quickly tucking her phone into her boot. The car door creaked open, and she heard the unmistakable sound of heavy boots hitting the pavement.

"Well, well, well," a raspy, sarcastic voice drawled. "Look who decided to show up."

Y/N's heart raced. Lucio.

He stepped into the light, a sneer on his face, his eyes raking over her in a way that made her skin crawl. "You did the right thing, sweetheart," he said, his voice laced with crude amusement. "Now, why don't you come over here and give me that duffel bag? Nice and slow."

Y/N swallowed her fear and took a tentative step forward, clutching the bag tightly. "Here it is," she said, her voice steady despite the terror clawing at her insides. She approached Lucio, her eyes never leaving his.

Lucio's grin widened, his eyes gleaming with a predatory light. "That's it, nice and easy," he taunted, his voice dripping with condescension. "Gotta say, you clean up nice. It's a shame you're mixed up in all this."

Y/N forced herself to stay calm, to focus on the task at hand. She held out the duffel bag, but Lucio didn't take it right away. Instead, he reached out and ran a finger down her arm, making her shudder with revulsion.

"Such a brave little thing," he sneered, leaning in close. "But bravery won't get you far in this world, darling. Especially not with the kind of people you're dealing with."

She pulled back slightly, her eyes flashing with defiance. "Just take the bag and leave me out of this," she said, her voice firm.

Lucio chuckled, a dark, mocking sound. "Oh, I don't think so. You see, you're part of this now. And there's no getting out."

He finally took the bag from her, opening it to inspect the contents. His eyes lit up as he saw the money and the goods inside. "Well, well, you actually came through. I'm almost impressed."

Y/N took a step back, her heart pounding in her chest. "You got what you wanted. Never ever contact me again."

Lucio looked up from the bag, a sinister smile spreading across his face. "Not so fast, sweetheart. We need to have a little chat first. About your boyfriend."

Her blood ran cold. "What about him?"

Lucio's smile widened. "Oh, don't play dumb with me. You think I don't know who he is? What he is? Chanyeol’s got a lot of people interested in him. And now, because of him, they're interested in you too."

She tried to mask her fear with anger. "Leave him out of this. He has nothing to do with your business."

Lucio laughed, a harsh, grating sound. "Oh! Is that what you think? How cute." He stepped closer, his eyes narrowing. "Get in the car while I'm still being nice," he said, his voice dripping with fake politeness.

Y/N's heart raced. "Fuck you! And what if I refuse?" she challenged, her voice steady despite the fear gripping her.

Lucio's expression darkened, the sarcasm vanishing. "Then your little lover will get hurt. A lot. I'll make sure of it."

As he spoke, Y/N's hand slowly reached toward the knife in her right boot. But before she could react, two large figures appeared from the shadows behind her, grabbing her roughly. She struggled, but they overpowered her easily, throwing her into the car.

Lucio smirked to himself as he turned and got into the car next to Y/N. By now, her hands and feet were tied, and a strip of tape was plastered across her mouth. She thrashed around, desperate to free herself, but it was no use.

"Quiet down," Lucio ordered, his voice cold. He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small bag of white powder. He poured it onto a tray in front of him and meticulously cut lines into the cocaine. As the car started moving, he rolled up a 100 bill and snorted a line.

Lucio then turned toward Y/N, gesturing the rolled-up bill toward her as if to offer some. She angrily turned away, refusing to give him the satisfaction.

Her mind raced, searching for a way out. She glanced at Lucio, who seemed momentarily lost in his drug-induced haze. Despite her terror, she knew she had to stay calm and wait for the right moment to escape. Her life, and possibly Chanyeol's, depended on it.

As the car came to a halt, the tires crunching over the gravel, Y/N felt a shiver run down her spine. Lucio, still engrossed in his cocaine-fueled haze, clumsily opened the door and gestured for her to follow. The two large figures who had been his enforcers stepped out first, their imposing forms casting long shadows in the dim light.

Y/N was pulled roughly from the car, the cold night air biting at her skin. She was led toward a large, dilapidated building that loomed ominously in the distance. As they approached, the grandeur of the structure became more apparent despite its current state of decay.

It was an old theatre, its faded grandeur hinting at a time when it had been the heart of cultural life. The exterior was crumbling, with ivy creeping up the walls and broken windows revealing glimpses of the interior. The building’s once-majestic façade was now scarred with neglect, but it still retained an air of faded opulence.

The men pushed Y/N inside, and she stumbled into the grand foyer. The interior was a ghostly echo of its former self: ornate chandeliers hung from the ceiling, their crystals coated in dust; velvet drapes lined the walls, tattered and moth-eaten; and the remnants of plush seating lay scattered about, some torn and others still surprisingly intact.

Lucio led her through the foyer, his footsteps echoing off the high ceilings. The grandeur of the theatre’s stage was revealed as they entered the main hall. Despite the dust and cobwebs, the stage retained its regal charm, with its once-brilliant red curtains now hanging in tatters and the remnants of a lavishly decorated backdrop partially visible.

Y/N was brought to the centre of the stage, her heart pounding with anxiety. The vast space around her seemed empty and imposing. Lucio’s men roughly tied her to a sturdy wooden chair placed in the middle of the stage, securing her wrists and ankles with thick rope. A strip of tape was placed over her mouth, effectively silencing any protests or pleas for help.

Lucio stood at the edge of the stage, his presence looming over her. He gazed around the old theatre with a smirk, clearly amused by the contrast between its former splendour and its current state of decay.

“Now,” Lucio said, his voice dripping with false politeness, “we’re going to move on to the more important part of our business. I suggest you make yourself comfortable, though I doubt you’ll be enjoying the show.”

He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small bag of white powder. He dipped into it with a tiny golden spoon. After snorting it, he turned toward Y/N with a mocking gesture, offering her some.

Y/N turned her head away in disgust, her anger and fear battling for control. Lucio’s smirk widened as he took another hit.

“Just so you know,” he said, his tone growing darker, “if you don’t cooperate, Chanyeol will be the one to suffer. I can make sure of that, believe me.”

He then gestured for the men to leave the stage, and they exited, their footsteps fading into the distance. The theatre’s oppressive silence enveloped Y/N, amplifying her sense of isolation.

Alone on the stage, Y/N surveyed her surroundings with a mix of hope and desperation. The grandeur of the theatre, despite its decay, might hold some hidden opportunities. She had to stay calm and find a way to escape, both for herself and for Chanyeol.

As Y/N remained tied to the chair, the echoes of Lucio’s footsteps grew fainter, leaving her alone in the oppressive silence of the abandoned theatre. The dim light from a single overhead bulb flickered intermittently, casting long shadows that danced across the stage. Her thoughts raced with plans for escape, but for now, she had to wait.

Outside, the night air was crisp and cool, and the city lights shimmered faintly in the distance. Unbeknownst to Y/N, Chanyeol was pacing anxiously in his upscale apartment, his mind a whirlwind of worry. The usual calm of his surroundings did little to soothe his nerves, especially with Y/N missing and the fire at her apartment still fresh in his mind.

Chanyeol’s phone buzzed on the glass coffee table, pulling him from his anxious thoughts. He picked it up, expecting a message from Y/N or a far-fetched text from Kai. Instead, the screen displayed a single notification from an unknown number.

He tapped on it, and the message that appeared was cryptic and chilling:

"2 AM. Come alone, or she dies."

Chanyeol’s heart raced as he read the message, his face going pale. The gravity of the situation hit him like a freight train. The old theatre—he knew where that was. The message was a sinister hint about what was to come, and the urgency in its words made his stomach churn.

He quickly glanced at his watch; it was already past ten-thirty. There was no time to waste. Chanyeol’s mind raced as he grabbed his coat and headed for the door. His phone buzzed again, but he didn’t have time to check it. He had to get to the theatre and figure out what Lucio had planned.

The apartment was left in chaotic disarray as Chanyeol rushed out, his pulse pounding in his ears. He had to find Y/N before it was too late. The message had made one thing painfully clear: the night was far from over, and the real danger was just beginning.

[eomayas]

new thing (pt. 6) • pcy

pairing: chanyeol x f!reader, age gap, established relationship

synopsis: your break with chanyeol lasts longer than expected and you try to make something work.

genre: heavy angst, smut 18+ MINORS DNI!!! bit of fluff

warnings: SMUT 18+ MINORS DNI!!! lots of angst and unspoken feelings, swearing, pwp (kinda) p in v, mentions of alcohol and drinking and being drunk

a/n: bruh yall inspired me to writeeee so here you go! i love reading all of your messages omg they’re so funny and sweet! i hope you like this 🩷 thanks for all of the support

series masterlist

a ‘little while’ turns into 2 weeks. the school year begins within those 14 days, and you throw yourself into your courses, occupying your time with 1 credit classes so you don’t have time to think about anything other than graduating and your education. when you do have a moment to yourself and to think, you force yourself to think of everything but chanyeol. it’s hard, since nearly everything reminds you of him. you’ve thought about texting him but resisted, chickening out at the last second.

it’s a friday night and you have no set plans. seulgi is going out with her boyfriend, so you have the house to yourself and a movie queued up on your laptop. ideally, you’d have someone to spend this quiet friday night in with, but alas. you’ve been single before; you’ll survive a movie night alone.

looking through your cabinets, you sigh at the lack of snack options, and things you want to eat. it’s been awhile since you’ve been shopping, having gotten used to being around somebody who constantly cooked for you, or took you out to eat. it’s the little things about not being with chanyeol that you feel like you took for granted. in this case, it’s grocery shopping.

grabbing your keys and purse, you throw on a sweatshirt before heading out of your apartment and down to your car. you hop in and make the short drive down to the corner store.

a quick glance around the parking lot would’ve told you to stay in your car, but it slips your mind as you’re here for a snack run, not expecting to be here long.

you beeline for the chip aisle, grabbing a bag of chips for yourself and another bag for seulgi. you stay there for a second, scanning a few other options before feeling satisfied and going to the coolers. there, you grab an iced tea and a water before getting ready to close the door, but a voice makes you freeze and stiffen, the door stuck mid-swing in your palm.

“bro, stop fucking around,” you know that voice better than you know your own. you’ve dreamt about it constantly, wishing for it to call on you, to say sweet things to you, like it used to. but now, it’s not yours to even want in that way.

slamming the cooler door, you quickly spin on your heel, racing down the aisle, not paying attention to where you’re going, but knowing that you need to get out. but you slam into a hard body, nearly knocking you backwards. “holy shit!” the man says, quickly turning around and reaching out an arm to steady you. “are you okay?” he asks.

footsteps round the corner, curses flowing from the mouth that belongs to the one you want more than anything, more than these snacks in your arms. “what the fuck did you do now? sorry for my cousin, he’s an id-“ his voice cuts off when he gets closer, stopping a few feet behind jongin. you raise your head, your eyes zeroing in on chanyeol.

“it was my fault,” you mean to say it to jongin, to apologize for not paying attention, but you can’t rip your eyes away from chanyeol. but now you’re apologizing to, technically the wrong person, but they both deserve two different types of apologies. “i wasn’t thinking.” you say, wondering if he can read between the lines and take it as an apology for the end of your relationship.

“he’s an idiot,” chanyeol says, making jongin scoff. there’s that glimmer in his eyes, the one that doesn’t fail to make you smile every time, but now you hold it back. you almost forget jongins there, until he mutters that he’s going to leave you and chanyeol alone.

there’s an awkward silence before chanyeol takes a single step closer to you. “hey,” he says, offering you a small smile. your heart hammers wildly in your chest, feeling like it’s going to crack through your bones and beat right out of your chest. “how’ve you been?” he asks, his voice softer than usual.

“fine. and you?” it’s like making small talk with somebody in an elevator; it’s terrible. you want to scream and run out of here, but you’re rooted to the floor and don’t trust your legs. you wonder if he can see your trembling hands, or if the snacks in them are doing enough to obscure their shaking.

“i’m good!” he says, and he sounds like he means it. it breaks your heart again, because there’s been countless nights where you’ve lain awake with thoughts of him running through your mind. you’re not even to being ‘good’, barely surpassing being ‘fine’.

you mumble a ‘that’s good’, and he says he’s going to go find jongin. “it was nice seeing you, y/n,” and you could call to your knees in tears, because it’s the first time he’s said your name in 14 days and you miss how it sounds coming from him.

“you too,” you squeak. he glances down at your arms full of snacks and gives you a small smile. you’re about to return it until you glance down at his hands, and feel your blood run cold.

chanyeol follows your line of sight to his hands and tries to indiscreetly hide the box of condoms, but you’ve already seen them. he can feel his neck heating up and feels the need to explain himself, that no, he has no intentions of using them soon, but the words don’t find him. your throat burns and your eyes sting, but you manage to not any tears fall, or let your voice give way to what’s happening inside of you when you say, “i’m gonna go,” and speed walk away on shaky legs.

luckily for you, there’s nobody in line at the check. you throw your stuff down on the counter and glance over your shoulder to make sure you don’t see either chanyeol or jongin. you pay as quickly as you got in line, thank the cashier and grab your bag of stuff.

chanyeol and jongin are walking towards the checkout as you’re taking your stuff, and you practically sprint out with how fast you walk and the strides you take.

outside, your eyes come in direct contact with his black corvette and you scream internally, wondering how you missed it when it’s right there, practically in front of the doors and not too far from you own car.

you feel like some sick joke is being played on you, and you throw your stuff into the backseat before speeding out of the parking lot and down the road. you drive half a mile before your eyes start to well up with tears, and drive another 500 kilometers before turning on a random street and pulling over to bawl into your hands.

you allow yourself to let go, to let nasty, ugly sobs from feo within your chest escape. you shake against the steering wheel, wishing you never went out for food you have no appetite for anymore, so that you could avoid seeing him. by the looks of it, he’s truly no longer yours because the two of you rarely, if ever, used condoms. there’s somebody else who’s going to get to experience him in ways that you long for.

when you get back to your apartment, you forego your movie plans and instead text some friends and ask if they’re busy. they tell you they are, that they’re going out (like most people you know), and ask if you want to come. you don’t hesitate to say ‘yes’, and start getting ready. chanyeol isn’t going to ruin your night, and you’re not going to sit here and mope and be single.

nearly two hours later, you’re ready and your friends wait for you downstairs. you wear the littlest black dress you own, one that barely covers your ass and is backless. it’s cowl neck is low, showing a good amount of cleavage, and your heels are high. you don’t intend to go home with somebody, but you plan to get attention in whatever way it comes.

shortly after you get to the club, drinks are practically thrown your way. decent enough men buy you drinks, and in return get a bit of your conversation before you always dismiss yourself to your friends. every time a man comes up to you, you make a mental list of every way he is not chanyeol, comparing everything down to their finger nails. of course, no man is going to compare to him, at least for now, so you drink until you start to forget what he looks like with your eyes closed.

you do cut yourself off, though, not wanting to vomit all over everything and everybody in this club. you take a seat in your section and go on your phone, checking your instagram to see all the photos and videos you’ve been tagged in tonight. you repost all of them to you stories, smiling as you type out silly captions for all of them.

one of your friends comes over to you, drunk and slurring as she tells you to come dance. you abandon your phone and get into the circle with your friends, dancing sensually with whatever the DJ decides to play.

by the time you call it quits for the night, you’ve sobered up enough to make it safely into your apartment. you stumble down the hallway to your bedroom as quietly as you can walking in heels on wood floors, and fall onto your bed. you lie there for a moment before you remember to wake yourself up and at least take your shoes off so you can go to bed.

plugging your phone into the charger, you look at your screen and see you have an instagram dm from chanyeol. your stomach flips as you unlock your phone and click on the notification, biting your bottom lip.

he’s replied to a video on your story, one of you dancing. but you’re not dancing alone, you’re dancing on a man, his hands holding onto your hips and lower back as you throw your ass on him. you don’t remember doing this, and the man doesn’t look familiar but it definitely happened.

real_pcy: so this is what we’re doing now?

11:53pm

you: we’re not together.

1:31am

real_pcy: lmao alright.

1:35am

you wake up hours later with a raging headache, a terrible taste in your mouth, and the feeling that you did something bad. you pat the bed next to you to make sure there’s nobody there, and sigh in relief when it’s empty and just pillows.

you can barely remember anything that happened after you got in the uber to the club and before you got into your bed. you remember bits and pieces, but they’re muddled and incomplete.

a frown takes over your features as you try to remember, but nothing solid comes to mind. you glance over at your digital clock that reads 12:12pm, and sigh, sitting up and groaning when your head feels like somebody is stomping on it.

grabbing your phone, you gasp and let it slip out of your grasp. it’s a bad idea to scramble out of bed to get it, but you do anyway and pick it up from the floor. you frantically open it and go to your messages, expecting to see chanyeols name at the top, but you don’t. you frown again as you try to remember where you messaged him, or if you made it up.

an instagram notification pings on your phone like a lightbulb going off in your brain, and you bite the inside of your cheek as you check your dms. again, his account isn’t at the top, and your frown turns into a scowl. “what the fuck?” you mutter. you go to the search tab and type in his username. it pops up, but when you click on it, it says ‘follow’, rather than ‘following’ like it should.

your brain rolls around in your skull as you realize what’s happened, what he’s done. even during your little break, you guys remained mutuals on social media. of course, you never messaged each other, but no blocking transpired. clearly, he made the first move and removed you from his account entirely, making you an outsider.

you decide to do one better, and block him completely. you block him everywhere else, but hesitaste on his number. that’s different, feels more personal. you still want him to have access to you and vice versa, assuming he didn’t block you first.

backing out of his contact, you leave his number untouched and sigh. if you thought it was over before, it truly is now.

fourteen days turns into twenty-six, but you’re not counting. it’s been school, school, school, for you, and if you’re not on campus then you’re most likely asleep, unless it’s the weekend. you find things to occupy your two days off, like doing things with seulgi when she’s not with her boyfriend, or taking yourself out. you’ve been getting your hair done lately, wanting to change something in your control.

you drain the last of your coffee and rinse out the mug in the sink. an unfolded bag of laundry waits to be put away, on the couch, and you saunter over to it and pick it up and take it to your room.

you dump the bag onto your bed and start separating your clothes into piles. you get into a zone until you pick up a tshirt that is far too big and not yours, and purse your lips. you toss it into its own pile and search for the rest of the clothes in the pile that belong to him, which is a lot more than you care to admit.

folding everything neatly, you snap a picture and open your messages with him. your stomach roils at the thought of texting him, your last messages being nearly a month ago, from the night you ruined everything.

you chew on your bottom lip for a while before saying ‘fuck it’ and sending him the picture of his folded clothes and a message.

yn: hey these are yours. can i drop them off later?

chanyeol: yep. i can give you your things too. does 4 work?

yn: yes

chanyeol: see you later

you blow out a breath. you didn’t think he would respond so quickly and be so complying. had it been the other way around, you would’ve hoped he’d ship you your stuff in the mail so you didn’t have to deal with him. but now you have 6 hours to stress about seeing him since that fateful day at the drug store.

and those six hours roll around quickly, so quickly that you’ve changed your outfit twice, unsure of what you should look like when you see him. you decide on jeans and black cropped tshirt, and some sneakers. you figure it’s a regular enough outfit, and stuff his clothes into a tote bag before leaving your room.

“i’ll be back,” you say to seulgi, who sits on the couch, painting her nails. she looks up and waves, her eyes traveling to the full bag in your hands. “dropping off some stuff to chanyeol.” you clarify.

she raises an eyebrow. “you’re dropping off stuff?” she questions. you nod and her eyebrow manages to go up higher. “you sure that’s all?” she says, almost like she can see right through you, and the fact that you put on a matching set underneath your clothes—just in case.

“and i’m picking up my stuff,” you manage, swallowing the lump in your throat.

“do you plan to go inside?” she asks, and you hate this interrogation, but she’s seen you mope for nearly a month over him. you shrug and she sighs, going back to her nails. “just be… careful. i’ll call if i get worried, you know.”

you smile a small smile at her words. “i know. bye,” you leave after that and head down to you car. you take a deep breath before you put the key in the ignition, feeling many things at once. your stomach flips wildly and your hands are clammy at the mere thought of going to his house to see him.

you drive too fast for somebody who is supposedly just going to drop off items to their ex. you really shouldn’t be this… energized at seeing him, since you two didn’t exactly end on good terms. you told him to get out the first time and the second time you solidified that you’re both single. sometimes you wish you could bite your tongue more.

his neighborhood comes into view quickly, and when you hook the left onto his street your heart leaps into your throat. you drive slow down to his house and parallel park you car on the curb in front of his mailbox. this is one of the few times you’ve been here alone to see him, your toyota looking out of place in a neighborhood where the average car owned is a mercedes.

getting out, you grabs the bag of clothes and hold it tightly in your hands, taking ginger steps up his driveway to his door. you suck in a breath when you knock three times, and clutch the bag to your midsection.

the door swings open and you feel your knees buckle when you see chanyeol. mild shock passes on his face like he forgot you were coming over, and then he checks his watch. “hey, sorry i lost track of time,” he says, awkwardly standing in the door way. he looks at you, eyes quickly giving you a once over before they land on the bag in your hands. “shit, let me grab your stuff. do you want to come in?” he asks, already moving out of the way before you have the chance to respond.

your feet take you into his house before your brain can process what’s really happening. “i’ll be right back,” he says, jogging up his stairs while you stay in place in the corridor. you peek your head out to look in the living room to note any major changes and see one. you feel like there may be something different about his kitchen, but he’s already bounding back down the stairs when you think about looking. “here you go.” he says, extending the clothes to you.

you pull open the tote bag and try to grab his clothes, but the bag isn’t wide enough so they fall back in, most of them unfolding. chanyeol takes the bag from you and holds it open so you can grab them easily. it’s not even been 5 minutes, and you’re already embarrassing yourself.

“sorry,” you cringe when you hand him his unfolded clothes before you put your own in the bag.

chanyeol gives you a small, reassuring smile that makes your pulse skyrocket and you avert your eyes. “it’s fine,” he says but it only makes you flush more. “how are you? how’s school?” he asks.

“uh, fine and fine. i’m taking bullshit classes for the credit, so,” you say, shrugging. “you?”

chanyeol shrugs too, a small smile still on his face. “same old stuff; i’m helping kai produce some songs, getting sehun in the studio more now,” he says. you nod awkwardly look around, not really knowing what to say. chanyeol leans against the wall and slots his clothes underneath his armpit and presses it to his side so they don’t fall. “you seeing anybody?” he asks suddenly, making your eyes snap up to him, narrowing immediately.

“is that really any of your business?” you question, defense all in your voice. chanyeol shrugs, as it to say ‘i’m just asking’. “we’re not together.”

“obviously not,” he laughs, but he doesn’t find it funny. it actually makes him mildly sick to be reminded of it, for it to be said out loud by you of all people, because he had every intention of coming back to you until you seemingly called it quits for good. “but i saw that video.” chanyeol adds, his tone more serious.

“and i saw you buying condoms,” you counter, crossing your arms over your chest.

“okay, but you’ve never danced with me like that,” he says, a hint of jealousy in his voice that you are definitely not imagining. you scoff at his words and shake your head.

“we’ve never gone out together, and the one time we happened to be out at the same time, we’d just met and then fucked in your car.”

chanyeol gives you a look that makes your face fall, one that makes you want to ball your hands into fists. he rubs underneath his lip and glances down at his feet. “what?” you ask, daring him to say what’s on his mind.

“nothing,” he says, brushing you off. you stare at him for a moment, waiting for him to look at you but he doesn’t.

“i’m not like that,” you say, frowning.

“i know,” he lifts his eyes to you and your draw your bottom lip in. it’s gets silent again, and you wonder if this is a good moment for you to make your escape, but you don’t really want to.

“are you seeing anybody?”

“no,” his response sounds honest, but you don’t completely believe it because of what you saw.

“i saw you buying condoms, chanyeol,” you say, pressing your lips together. he rolls his eyes and runs a hand through his hair.

“yeah, because i plan to practice safe sex in the future, y/n—whether that’s with you, or with somebody else,” your cheeks flush at his words and a knot forms in your stomach. you don’t know whether to be semi flattered, or gutted knowing that there will be others after you, like there were before you.

“well, we’re not having sex,” you declare, and chanyeol shrugs.

“that’s fine.”

it’s fine, but somehow you end up face-down-ass-up on his bed, his palm pressing on your tailbone to give you a deeper arch as he pounds into you. with every thrust into you, a desperate mewl leaves your mouth.

chanyeol has a right grip on your hips to keep you in place every time you try to run away from him. he yanks you back and tells you to stay with him, to take it because he knows you can, and you’re not used to me anymore? you only cry out his name in response, tears prickling in your eyes.

“fuck,” he spits when his shirt keeps getting in the way of seeing where you to connect, whenever he pushes into to you. his momentum barely falters as he puts the hem in between his teeth to keep the material out of the way. both of you aren’t even fully undressed, that’s how rushed it was; you’re still in your top and thong, the tiny material being pushed aside so he can enter you, and him his tshirt. it’s the first time—other than the night you met—that neither of you are fully bare, and you can’t tell if that’s a sign that he doesn’t deem you worthy of getting undressed, or if it’s a sign that you’re about to start over.

it’s also one of the few times he’s started with doggy first. chanyeol alwyas liked to look at you; always liked you on top of him or under him, but he liked to see your face the most. you don’t know if it’s a slight that he has you turned away from him, or if he just wanted to watch your ass move.

“ch-chanyeol—fuck!” tears stream down your cheeks and you grip the sheets tightly, trying to pull your body away from him but he yanks you back in place. you cry out his name and hate how desperate you sound, like you’ve never been fucked a day in your life. you bury your face into a pillow, but he rips that away from you too.

“wan’ hear you,” he mumbles, continuing to slam into you. you can only curse and clench around him in response, the knot in your stomach getting tighter and tighter as he goes on with his mission to touch your spleen (at least that’s what it feels like).

“g-gonna c-cum,” you hiccup, whining out his name when he snakes an arm around your front and starts flicking on your clit. the stimulation makes you clench your eyes shut and tense around him, gasping before crying out his name as you gush all over him.

you expect him to stop, but he fucks you through it, never stopping his ministrations on your clit. “please, yeol!” you beg, feeling your legs start to shake as another wave of deep pleasure comes over you.

“you can do it, baby,” he grunts, running a hand up your back before gently pressing down on your spine. the pet name makes you whine dramatically and release once again, white liquid running down your thighs.

he finally pulls out when you beg him again, feeling too hot and overstimulated. you crumple onto the bed and roll onto your back, trying to regain your breath. you hear chanyeol shift next to you and then he taps you on the knee. “you alright?” he asks.

“give me a minute,” you croak, licking your dry lips. your body feels like you’re running a fever, and you sit up to pull off your top before flopping back down.

chanyeol gives you a literal minute before tapping you again. “are you gonna be okay?”

“yes, i’m just so fucking hot right now,” you say, blowing air into your face.

“you wanna take a break?” he asks and you crack an eye open to look at him. his shirt is off and his dick is still hard in the condom. you take his comment as a challenge, being that he’s never asked if you’ve needed a break before. maybe he thinks you can’t handle it and have gone soft on him, but you’ll show him otherwise.

“no. come here,” you say with authority. he obliged and crawls on top of you. you pull him down to your mouth and make out with him, hooking a leg over his back. chanyeol kisses down your jaw and to your neck before kissing down through the valley of your breasts. he pulls back and looks down at you, pulling at your bra strap and letting it snap back against you.

“you’re matching,” he comments, glancing down at your underwear. busted.

“so?” you say, reaching for him.

“you said we weren’t having sex,” chanyeol points out, making you let out an exasperated sigh paired with an eye roll. “you wore a thong.”

“i always wear thongs.”

“and we always fuck.”

you roll your eyes again and sit up to take your bra off, tossing it close to his head on purpose. “just shut up and fuck me,” you say, pushing down your underwear. chanyeol pulls it down the rest of the way for you and wastes no more time positioning himself in between your legs.

“y/n,” he groans when he pushes in, tossing his head back. you mouth falls open and you let out s few breathless pants. “shit.” he grunts, looking down at you with furrowed eyebrows. you can only stare up at him with wide eyes, clenching right around him like he didn’t just fuck you so hard you felt like you needed an ice bath to recover.

chanyeol pulls in and out of you slowly, trying to hold back from coming too soon. you can see it in his face, the concentration, and it clicks for you. he can’t handle looking at you while he fucks you because he’ll finish too fast. your sex in the past was never quick, but the effort of restraint he’s putting in is something you haven’t seen.

“y-yeol,” you moan, putting a hand on the back of his neck and pulling him down for a kiss. but he just presses against your lips, his breath fanning your mouth. “faster.” you mumble, tangling a hand in his hair.

he whimpers and pushes himself up on his arms and speeds up just enough to keep himself under control, but you still want more. “more,” you urge, wanting to watch him fall apart because of you, even if you don’t get off before or with him.

“baby,” he groans, squeezing his eyes shut as he gives you what you ask for. your cry out his name and part your legs wider for him. you lift one onto his shoulder and hook it around the nape of his neck to pull him closer to you, a grunt leaving his lips. “y-y/n, im c-close,” he whimpers, holding onto your thigh that rests near his head.

“yeolie, you feel so good,” you manage, grabbing a handful of the sheets. his hips stutter and he lets out a groan before he cums, his muscles flexing.

you almost smile as he falls apart on top of you, especially knowing that it took looking at you to get there faster.

chanyeol pulls out of you and drops down onto the bed next to you. his chest heaves up and down rapidly and you push hair back from his forehead. “you didn’t come,” he mumbles, reaching out and putting a hand on your stomach.

“no,” you admit. ever the gentleman, he gets up and discards the condom before settling his face in between your legs to return the favor.

after what feels like an eternity, you two decide to give it a rest. “shower?” he asks you, sitting up on the bed. you nod, your inner thighs sticky from all of your shenanigans.

you follow chanyeol to the bathroom on shaky legs and latch yourself onto him once you’re under the water. your arms wrap around his middle and you rest your head against his chest, sighing into him. chanyeol places a kiss on your forehead and you nearly whimper, missing the domesticity of it all.

you two wash up and then he gives you some of his clothes to wear. you smile to yourself at him knowing that you weren’t going to leave so soon. he tells you he’s going to order takeout, since he doesn’t feel like cooking, and passes you his phone to choose what you want to eat.

it’s easy to fall into that old rhythm like no time has passed, and like you didn’t let this whole thing crumble right before you.

while you wait for the food, you ride him on the couch, and then after you eat he fucks you lazily on the counter. your body feels beat up and tired in the best way, and the familiar limp you start to walk with feels good again.

you wake up to the smell of food, your limbs sore as you stretch. the bed is empty next to you, and it takes you a moment to realize that this isn’t your bed or your house. the realization makes you bite your lip, and you slip out of his bed and make your way downstairs.

“good morning,” he greets when you walk into the kitchen, a smile on his face. you return it and he pulls you into him, placing a kiss on your lips that leaves you feeling dizzy and slightly confused, but you don’t say anything. instead, you accept the plate of food he hands you and go sit down at the table.

chanyeol sits down beside you and pulls your legs across his lap, and your fork stills in midair. it’s all overwhelmingly familiar, and you still have yet to discuss where your relationship stands after last night. it wasn’t just sex for you—it never is with chanyeol—and you don’t know if he feels the same way.

you let him talk through breakfast, your mind swimming with thoughts that wonder what this all means. you don’t know if he was just testing you out again, but you don’t think he’d allow you to sleep over, and then cook you breakfast in the morning. you feel lightheaded, like you just got flipped upside down one too many times.

“you alright? what’s on your mind?” his voice takes you out of your head where you feel yourself drowning. he raises his eyebrows at you and you wave your hands in the air vaguely.

“just… thinking,” you try.

“about?”

you let out a breath and scratch the back of your head, pulling your gaze away from him. “um, us,” you say. chanyeol sits back in his seat and clears his throat. “i dont… what does this mean for us? what are we?” you ask helplessy, finally looking at him. chanyeol opens his mouth but closes it almost as quickly.

“i dont know,” he answers. you slump in your chair because you have no idea either.

“well, what do you want?”

you can see the gears turning in his brain and him weighing each response. the tension builds in the room as you stare at him, waiting for his answer to see if it’ll align with yours. “well… i dont really know if i want a relationship right now,” your stomach drops and you blink once, twice. “i like what we did last night, though.” and without actually saying it, he wants you two to be friends with benefits. he wants you, but not all of the extra baggage.

“okay,” you say, discreetly wiping your face and swiping away the tears pooling in your eyes.

“yeah?” he asks, and you nod even though it’s far from what you want. you just want him, and you’ll take what you can get.

you hold back tears as he fucks you on his bed again, but not because it feels so good and like too much at the same time, but because he’s stomping on your heart and doesn’t even realize it. your heart can’t handle a FWBs situation with him since you’re already way into deep with him.

it becomes too much as you think about it, your mind not in the present moment of him thrusting into you. the tears start to fall, one by one, until you’re full on sobbing and covering your face. “w-what’s wrong? am i hurting you?”

“yes!” you cry, and he immediately gets off of you. you roll away from him and curl yourself into a ball, feeling disgusted with yourself that you were willing to let him use you in such a way, dangling your heart on a string in front of you.

“y/n, talk to me,” chanyeol says, putting a hand on your shoulder. you shrug him off like you did during your initial break up, and he feels like he’s getting deja vu again. “please, y/n. talk to me, tell me what’s wrong.” his voice is full of concern because he knows there’s something else that’s really upsetting you.

“i cant do it,” you know you’ll probably lose him for good, but you’re willing to take that risk if you can’t have him the way that you want. you want him next to you in the mornings and calling you in the middle of his day. you don’t want to be a late night though, a booty call, to him. “i just can’t do it.”

chanyeol knows that you’re talking about your little agreement. he knew you’d end up backing out at some point, because he himself can’t even take it that seriously. he knows he’ll just wind up with feelings for you again since they never left.

“that’s okay,” he says, and he means it. your heart is heavy as you sit up and look over at him. chanyeols heart breaks to pieces when he looks into your eyes, feeling guilty for what he’s done. if only he could just confess and be honest about his feelings this time.

your goodbye is quiet and awful, and you feel like digging a hole and putting yourself in it the entire time. you leave feeling empty and hollow, and like you just got ran over by an eighteen wheeler. but hey, at least it wasn’t your fault this time.