#think about every time you dreamed about something as a teen and it was terrifying as hell

[eilraee]

I think forgetting about dream studio in the second film was a mistake. It has so much potential!

[ophelieverse]

please please please i need you to write something for my man Aegon I love how you write for him😭

➳♡before fire takes it all

Aegon II Targaryen x fem!reader

-summary:normally Aegon would ignore Helaena and her strange behavior but,since his wife Y/n got pregnant,he can’t help but think about the words his sister said the moment he announced the news.

-warnings:set in season 1,pre blood and cheese and luke death,teen pregnancy(both Aegon and reader are sixteen),talk about child death,Aegon being paranoid and keeping secrets,Helaena predictions,classic asoiaf warnings,reader can be of whatever house you want.

-thank you so much for the request and let me know what you guys think,send you all my love🩷

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It hurts.

Love,Aegon thinks.

Love hurts.

His heart bursts,his heart explodes,his heart climbs down his throat and assaults his temples, squeezing and compressing them until his eyes darken,until it scars the tormented irises and pupils.

Loving too much is fatal.Or not?

Isn't that so?

Live well,live badly.Does he lives at all?

“I don't know”,his conscience responds.

Aegon would like to know,but he doesn’t know.He doesn’t even think he knows what the right way to live is anymore,he’s terrified that he doesn’t know what it means to live anymore.

How can he live?How?

How can he pretend that everything is alright?That everything,in the future,is going to be alright?

Normally Aegon wouldn’t think about these sort of things,he used to live day by day dictated by his own selfish desires.But since he had got married two years ago,something in him changed completely.He started to understand what it meant to love and live for someone else,to wake up every morning early to just watch her sleep so soundly next to him,to stay sober at every hour so that he could remember her kind words,her sweet face and calm voice.Wanting to be a different version,a better one,of himself only because she showed him that he deserved happiness and love like everyone else and in return he only wanted to give her the best he could.

But golden necklaces,earrings,beautiful flowers and the most expensive dresses could not fill the hole that was slowly opening under their feet,a hidden tragedy ready to swallow them whole and to break their hearts and souls forever.

Aegon wasn’t one to listen to his family,he longed for his mother love and his father attention,he despised his older half sister,made fun of his younger brothers and mostly ignored his other sister.Only this time,something happened,something made him look in Helaena direction for the first time and his ears had caught every single word that she had whispered to herself.

His wife,Lady Y/n,the most beautiful and kind woman,a innocent young girl with a heart too big for her body,was pregnant.It was true,what they said about expecting women,she was glowing like the most precious diamond and her happiness about becoming a mother,the mother of the lover of her life child,couldn’t be contained by her shiny eyes and big smile.

«The Maester said that signs suggest is going to be a boy.»Aegon had announced one day at the breakfast table.

His mother had smiled kindly and Aemond had nodded giving his shoulder a warm squeeze.It was still too early in the pregnancy to understand whether is was going to be boy or a girl,but still Aegon had hoped that the Maester was right.Having a son was a dream that he never dared to imagine or to say out loud until then,the living proof that he was going to be better than his father ever was for him.

Helaena was sitting next to him,quietly playing with a wooden butterfly,all lost in the secret gardens of her mind when she muttered something: «A son for a son.»without even understanding her own words.

As their mother and brother were talking,Aegon turned slightly toward her.Usually he wouldn’t pay attention to his sister and her strange behavior,he was disgusted by all of those insects that she so lovingly brought everywhere like some pet on a leash and he was so relieved when his father had betrothed him to Y/n instead that her.He wouldn’t even lister or look over her if in the past,her silent words of warning weren’t revealed to be the sour truth.Aemond had lost an eye just like she had said.Maybe if back then he had listened to her,he would have helped his brother and nothing would have happened.

«What does it mean?»Aegon had whispered to her confused.

Helaena wasn’t looking at him,her fingers gracefully tracing the toy«They only want the boy,not the girl.»she said as if she didn’t heard him,nodding to herself.

Aegon left the spoon that he was holding,a sensation of nausea was crawling up his stomach,his heart beating faster«The boy?My boy?Who wants him?»he asked.

His sister stayed quiet,every second felt like an agony for him.His mind became of stone and a part of his was laughing for the fact that he was actually really listening to her,to her crazy words and empty head.But still,something,maybe his father instinct that was already part of him,told him that what she was saying was another dark truth.

A boy and a girl,she had said.He was going to have both,twins.He couldn’t even imagine it,praying that they would take after their mother soft and gentle spirit but also his fierce nature.Y/n would have been delighted to know that they were about to have twice of the love,but what would she said if she knew that someone wanted their son?

«The rats.»Helaena answered then,her eyes bore holes in his as she turned to look at her older brother,shiny lilac flowers watered in fear and condolences.

It had been months since that conversation and Aegon couldn’t stop to think about it.Every night,as he watched Y/n sleep next to him while he so gently caressed her belly where two new lives were growing,he could still feel his sister horrified stare on him and her heavy words in his ears.

Y/n is talking to Aegon,while they were lying under the covers of their bed.Her head is on his chest,her hair smelled of flowers and peaches,her voice sleepy and always so tender as his hand was staying on her swollen stomach.She's talking to him about her day and he can't listen to her,he can't even see her behind his pale eyelashes that lower,behind his tired eyelids that are threatening to close tightly.

With the fingers of his free hand he massage them,the nail of his index finger finds a tear that was hidden there,at the corner of the right eye,and uprooting it,let it be dried out by air.

Aegon was exhausted.He had difficulty to sleep when every sound made him jump,every shadow in the corner gave him a heart attack.

He would like to stop thinking,he would like to find a way to turn off his mind,to blow up the candle that kept his brain from sleeping and this crazy thought makes him understand that he had become even more incredibly pathetic than he already was.

Aegon was terrorized.If he already ignored Helaena,now he was avoiding her like the plague in fear that she could say something else,or worse,talk about her thoughts to Y/n.

Y/n,his beautiful and sweet wife,already had so much to think about.Being eight months pregnant was taking a toll on her,even though she never stopped smiling,he could see that she was tired and that her body couldn’t bare it anymore.He couldn’t let her worry about something that his weird sister said to him,not when the Maester said that she needed peace,calmness and affection.And even if he hadn’t said that,how could Aegon tell her what was keeping him awake at night?

He set more and more knights to follow his wife around to make sure that nothing happened to her and his children,the Maester came to check on her at least once a day and when he wasn’t with her,his mother would keep her company in the solarium.He had personally hired people to hunt the rats of the Red Keep.Aegon so often dreamed of being just like the armors that Ser Arryk wears,cold, motionless,empty,that he has come to believe that it would be beautiful,it would be fulfilling,to be something without emotions and rest in a corner without light.

Aegon had still to meet his son,both of his children,after he had dreamed of him,of them,for so long.And yet already someone wanted to take his baby away from him.

The flashes of the veins on his forehead tingle and he clash,he crush himself,against an imaginary expanse of water that slaps his brain,crushes his lungs with long ivory tusks,disfigures his face.

Aegon was blocked.

He was stuck in some claustrophobic scribbled box,in a rusty bubble of his faulty soul,and he was afraid see beyond.But he could see the future,the one that Helaena had tried to warn him about.

He could see beyond and,the certainty is disconcerting,he clearly see that the worst nightmare of any human being,what wakes up men in the middle of the night and scares children with simple shadows,is the awareness of being chased:no one can ever escape from themselves,no one has ever escaped from destiny.

Not even him,especially him.

Because Aegon knew already,tasting it on the tip of his tongue,that what will happen is was going to be his fault.Certainly not because of Y/n.

«Am I boring you?»Y/n voice was tired but still sweet«Forgive me,my days are monotonous,predictable and highly boring.»she huffed,caressing his hand above her stomach.

Ever since she had started showing,her husband treated her like the finest and most delicate porcelain.All she could do during the day was read in their chambers,walk through the gardens and pray with the Queen.Not exactly a vivacious life,especially since Ser Arryk followed her every move.

She yawns,she apologizes,and Aegon finally slam the lumpy eyelashes and look at her.

Y/n is smiling,innocent,carrying his children and then his body moves by itself,he act instinctively, and get her closer to him.

A hand behind her nape,a strong and fast grip, almost stuttered,and Aegon feel her words on the palate,he eat them between his lips moving on her open mouth.He kiss her badly,and he hurt himself,he will hurt both of them,he kiss her following the dull rhythm of his ears,he kiss her and he pass the noise of his thoughts to her.

Aegon feels a hole in the center of his throat,a knot of cries,and this makes him sway and covers his eyes with torn red lightning here and there,it breaks his mind.Yet he keep kissing her.He have to kiss her.

Kissing Y/n scratches his soul,kissing her stirs up his fears and reminds him,in the pause of one of her breath,the so natural way in which pleasure and pain mix,get tangled,whenever pieces of skin graze and play with the tongues and crests of a fire.Fingertips caressing purple flames,white sheets reduced to blackened shreds,a plate of ice lying on the jigular.

Kissing Y/n now is like taking a sip of salt.Filling her mouth,having her under his palms,feeling the boiling heat of her cheeks against his nose and against his upper lip.

Y/n forces Aegon to give her every good part of himself,even those he thought were lost by now,and she does it with twisting tongues or with an annoying clash of teeth.All it takes is a simple touch and he’s willing to give her the world.She makes him wanting to be a better person and he so scared to fail her,that he wouldn’t be able to protect her and the most precious things that they created together.

«Aegon.»she whispered on his lips,eyes fluttered closed.

«I love you.»he said without thinking«I love you and our children.And I didn't think I could ever love,not this way.»he confessed,his voice trembling as his mouth was on hers again.

«I love you too.Are you alright sweetheart?»Y/n asked placing a hand on his warm cheek,she could read him like a open book but sometimes even her couldn’t understand him completely.

Aegon wished he could tell her all about what was going on in his mind.To share with her his deepest fears,to let her hold him and tell him that everything is going to be alright and that they will be safe and together for all of their lives.

But when she starts kissing him in a different way,like a helpless girl who would let herself do anything from him,when she starts kissing him with a teenage heat,a heat so in love and so lost, then he would like to do something else.

He would like to yell all the terrible words that Helaena told him,he would like to tug on her and burst her stupid and crazy soap bubbles in front of her eyes and he would like to do it just to remind her who he really was.To remind his sweet Y/n that so willingly loved,accepted and cherished him,that believed that with him nothing could touch her,that he was still a dragon and dragons are known to burn people.

Aegon doesn’t answer her,he just lets his forehead on hers with his eyes closed.

«You don’t have to worry.»Y/n murmured against his skin«You are not like your father and our children already know that,they love you just like I do.»she promised him,their hands interlaced on her belly.

He had voiced his concerns about fatherhood the moment she told him that she was with child,his child.Children now.And she had spent countless nights reassuring him that he was going to be a good father,a better one,unlike his.That he was going to be there for them,but now he knows that he can’t escape his own fate.His father shadow will forever be there to remind him that they are just the same:bound to fail their families.

“Stop it,please.Stop holding my heart so tight in your hands,that's enough.”Aegon thought.

It was in moments like these that Aegon remembered that Y/n was just a girl,a frightened sixteen years old who lives every second with her chest open,her heart too visible to anyone,too exposed.The feelings,the emotions,painted between her bright eyes and lips,make her an easy target,a sacrificial lamb,a too good person who can easily be stabbed in the back.

Her goodness and naivety makes her vulnerable and Aegon knows it,Gods,he knows it.

Because Y/n is not,in the slightest,capable of defending herself,she is not even able to understand the reality of the universe,she does not come to terms with the subtle and treacherous truths.She does not accept the existence of evil in the world,she does not accept the possibility that often what is considered good and right,is not really good,is not really right.

So how could Aegon get her away from the black that drips from his nails,scars,thoughts?Y/n thinks she knows how dark his soul is,she thinks she's got it,but he know she doesn’t.

It will never be like this.

«Aegon.»she calls for him again as soon as she realizes that his mind is wandering too far.

Y/n throws his name on his skin and he swallow the panic that warms his esophagus,which runs through his every rib,as he block her head in his hands,almost in a trap.

Aegon push her to lie on the mattress,make her collapse between the pillows almost as if he had beaten her in a duel,and he hovers on top of her relaxed body,carefully holding her stomach.

Y/n doesn't tremble.

He’s are literally assaulting her and she lets him do it,she agrees,she welcomes him between her legs,in her heart,in her mouth that moves a little away from his and then falls on his eyelids that are still closed.

Aegon wish he could tear his eyes out,blind himself with huge metal spikes.He doesn’t let anyone get so close to him,he’d never done it and now more than before he wished didn’t do it.Because now they would see it,they already saw it.It was evident,under the lights and everyone eyes that his legacy was about to be born and die all in once.

Even the rats will see it.If someone dared to direct their steps towards Aegon,if someone dared even raise their head towards him,they would see his pupils and find Y/n and their children in there.

At the center of all his thoughts,of all his hopes:the end of an entire life that has bent over itself in the hope of scraping together some more time and living it with them.

So what's wrong?What binds his eyelashes in a white spider web?Could Helaena be right or he was being paranoid again?She was right about the fact that Y/n was carrying twins,the Maester had confirmed it months ago,but could she be right about the rest?

Then he felt it,against his warm palm and his heart skip a beat.A little kick,yet strong and determined to be felt.

«Looks like someone woke up.»Y/n giggled,looking down at her body.

«I didn’t mean to wake them.I’m sorry.»is all that Aegon can whisper and he doesn’t even know what he’s really apologizing for.

Y/n listens to him and suddenly recognizes something in the tone of his voice.She relaxes her limbs under him even more,completely wipes away any trace of tension as if someone had just cut the thin threads that moved her body,and she sulks as she touches his lilac eyes that he still deny her,stubbornly.

«Why are you so sad?What happened?»she said,concern covering all her beautiful face.

It’s not what happened,but what could happen.

Aegon forced a smile on his lips«A bad dream.That's all.»he lies,shaking his head.

Thats what he prayed every night,that it was all a nightmare and that he would wake up soon.

Y/n rubs her fingertips on his eyelashes and he feel her lips lying against his cheekbone.She’s smiling.

«Don't worry.I just found the last sleep crumbs that were hiding from you and threw them away. They were the ones who held back the bad dream and now they are gone.»she explained to him,peppering sweet kisses on his face.

Aegon eyelids rise on their own and he clash with the flickering image of his wife looking at him and bringing to his face her index finger on which one of his eyelashes is placed,almost a crescent moon caught in the air and hovering towards the earth.

«Do you want to make a wish?My mother always told me to do it,but I have to admit that almost none of my wishes ever came true in this way. Maybe I was asking for impossible things,out of my reach.Same thing with the shooting stars.Do you want to try anyway?»Y/n was rumbling,now he remembered why she was friends with his sister.

Aegon leverage his elbows,without getting too far away from her and look at her strangely«What?»he asked confused.

His cheeks mottled red and it seems to him that the way she bites her lips is yet another punch against his anesthetized emotions.

«Forgive me,it's such a stupid thing.Please forget it.»and while she is saying it she moves her nail in the act of throwing away his wish that has taken on the common form of a pale eyelash.

Y/n gesture makes the eyelash roll down and it swirls over itself and chases the earth,chases its tail,forms several open circles into which he stick his dream,his nightmare,his hidden thought.

The eyelash is lost on the red carpet and Aegon don't see it anymore.

He look for Y/n gaze again as she pushes him back into kissing her.She asks him,clumsily,to let go of those silly words of hers.The words of a girl that was still too young and forced by her father to grow up too fast,a girl hat was still a child herself with all of her fantasies and fairytales.A child that will raise children soon.

Because Y/n was better than Aegon,she is,even if she doesn't know it,and she showed it to him so many times that he has now lost count of the occasions when he felt at fault.Occasions when he realized he don't deserve her.

Aegon prefer to ignore this reality of the facts,he prefer to put his lips on her collarbone and bite slowly,resume and rummaging through her fertile body,one hand in her hair and the other under her nightgown,and grab as much as much as she offers him.

And Y/n offers Aegon everything,always.

«No wish was ever fulfilled?No one?»the question comes out of his teeth before he can control it,it pours out as his mouth moves over her belly that he suddenly feel quiver.

She is laughing.All three of them are,he realizes as he start tracing with his fingers his children imaginary features on the skin of her stomach.

«Maybe two of them.»Y/n says,referring to the lives she created inside of her«But I found out that my wishes only come true when I look at myself in a puddle.»she laughs again with her mouth open and then moves her head into a pillow.

His fingertips tingle on contact with her skin and his stomach closes into a knot the moment he notice how the intimacy that his movements has turned into familiarity.Because that is what they were going to be soon,a family.

«When did you looked at yourself into a puddle?»Aegon suddenly asked,giggling a bit when another kick met his hand.

Y/n hand found its way into his messy silver locks«The day that my father had accompanied me here for our betrothal.»she tells him,a warm feeling in her chest at the memory.

«It was raining.»he said,he remembered perfectly the first time he saw her.

He remembered her father fussing all over her wet hair,trying to adjust her dress and to make her look presentable.But she was still the most beautiful and vulnerable creature that Aegon had aver seen.A little wet bird in a golden cage.

She nodded«Before entering the Keep i took a deep breath and,as I stared at my reflection into a puddle at my feet,I secretly wished that the husband i was going to have would love him as much as I love looking at the star.»she smiled lovingly down at him.

It came true.Aegon felt his heart exploding in his chest,he loved his wife more than anything in the world.It was so easy for him to love her,how could he not?The thought that she had to wish for something like that,for something that for him was like breathing made his eyes flutter with little tears.

Aegon moved an arm and he already knew that he will hold her hand,remaining palm to palm,as he already know that her fingers will chase his,that they will squeeze,gasps.Wrists banging against wrists,veins in contact.

The time of a whole life that slips away.

«I have never made a wish.»he confessed then.

He just took,he just wanted.

Oh Aegon,what a stupid mistake.

He stole the dreams of his future child,he had plundered entire experiences of the past,and yet he could have simply asked.With courtesy,with kindness.With a little humility.

What a stupid mistake.

«You must have had a really bad dream.»Y/n whispers in her voice broken by his caresses,and then leans and puts her forehead against his as he rise to look at her«But it’s never too late,you can still have your wish.»she reassured him.

No he couldn’t and maybe they should stop talking,stop wasting time.They both should just exchange their saliva and shut up.Pant,moan obscenely and stop everything else.Eliminate among them the layers of soul,the remnants of some childish hopes,and join like empty bags.

It would be better this way,Aegon recognize this too,just below the surface,just below the peel of his chest,at least admit with himself that it would be better that way.He should stop discovering her hips with words,with confessions,with Helaena confusing words,with half-truths:it's too risky.

He should just close himself and unite with her only the bodies,discover the consistency of the painless choices and stay there stationary,inside an empty and deep gap in which the arms and legs move frantically without ever finding anything to hold on to.

This was his life once,before her.

Aegon had endless possibilities of oblivion,between the broken lines of the light palms,he had everything a young,spoiled prince could ask for.

The simplicity of superficial human relationships flowed through the buttonholes of his fingers and he continued to be unhappy,stubbornly perpetuated his pursuit of unhappiness,but he didn't know it,and therefore he really wasn't.

Or maybe yes?Maybe a part of him knew that?Is that why his chest is burning now?Because now he was finally happy for the first time and he didn’t wanted it to end?

Because now Aegon has Y/n and he managed to create something pure and innocent and beautiful with her,giving them all of the good qualities he didn’t knew he possessed.

Y/n seems to listen to his every secret and fear,to feel his breathing change and become noisier,deeper.She place a hand on his abdomen, slowly,she traces with her fingertips first his palm and then also his wrist,then also the blue vein,and repeat his name,repeat his name,repeat his name again.

Aegon enchant himself in front of the movement of her mouth and listen to the ticking of her heart that stretches until it pulls a painful fist on his gums.

He’s an adult now,a husband and a father.He should behave as such and leave the butterflies to the kids and remember that him,in his stomach and belly,only have the worms of rotten apples.

This happens to those who never make a wish. Didn't he know that?

«I would kill for our family,even innocent people if this means keep the three of you safe.»Aegon suddenly said,voicing his thoughts out loud«Would you still love me after that?»the question is sour in his mouth.

Y/n opens her eyelids to the sound of his question,frantically slams her eyelashes,those eyelashes,and swallows with difficulty.The cheeks are even redder and the ears are also red,the eyes are shiny.Atoms of soul and innocence:they agglomerated together and formed her,a little girl composed of glass and cobwebs,bubbles and feathers.

The bravest Lady he had ever met.

«Of course I will love you.My heart is your for eternity.»she replies and doesn't hesitate for a moment«And I would do the same for us.»she added with a whisper.

Her love for him is equivalent to a black hole in which he could immerse himself and observe a boundless horizon of stars broken and stuck in an icy ground.

She loves him.

And she knows that Aegon loves her too.But right now he can't even answer her,to tell her that he’s sorry,that he’s scared,that he reciprocate her feelings with the same intensity or that maybe he reciprocate them in an even more desperate way than her,crazier.He wish he could tell her that he wished they had more time,that he wasn’t who he is,that he wished that they were born in a different place and had different lives to share forever.

Y/n face is beautiful,her forehead is smooth,no flickering lines to scar her tranquility,and the skin near her eyes is crumpled from the day they got married and started to live a life together.It's the restrained cries,the sleepless nights,the quarrels,the misunderstandings,the voracious kisses left on them like square pieces.

Y/n looks at him,her eyes are still shiny,and with her fingertips and palms she clings to his camisole.

Sh clings to him and Aegon doesn’t feel any weight,he doesn’t feel any pain,no discomfort.Then at least one thing shines certain and bright in his mind:she has become the very consistency of his body.She has entered his limbs,without him noticing,and she is so close to him,beyond the blood and the breaths,that her hand is now an extension of his,her chest is his,her back is his,her lips are his.

And they would be able to see it,all perfectly together in the faces of their children.

And it is not a mere matter of possession,just an arranged marriage to unite two houses,this is not the truth and it will never be.It is something ancestral,like being destined to meet her,being destined to belong to it,being destined to live there,despite time and space.

Aegon and Y/n were sitting on the opposite ends of a timeline,at two distant points in human life, so far away that they saw each other like blurred halos,and they wanted so much to find the other,they have desired it so much,so much,that they have decided to tilt the axes of existence,to hang on to them,and to reunite with an interweaving of hands.

They had bent their faces,touched their souls by ticking of nails,and nothing was the same again.What a stupid mistake they made,something that their innocent son will pay one day.

Aegon felt like he was on fire,his whole body was trembling and his heart ached in his chest«Y/n…I…I-»but what could he tell her?

He could push her away from him,go ahead and just do it,but on his bones he will still find her shape and her footprints.If he looked for her,looked for her in him,he would find that she was everywhere.

«Y/n,I’m…I’m really sorr-»he tried to choke out what he could.

«Do you know what I wanted when I first looked inside a puddle?»Y/n didn’t let him finish,instead she kept stroking his face lovingly to help him calm down.

Aegon doesn’t move and she puts her index finger against his right temple,light.He knew that,from where she was from,it usually rained during the end of the summer and that she loved playing outside with her siblings and mother.She was the one that taught Y/n to look inside poodles and to dance in the rain,something that she would teach her future children too.

«I wished I could see myself.I wanted it intensely,I really wanted it with all my strength,as I never wanted anything in life.»Y/n started to explain him.

All of her life was planned for her,from the moment she came to the world,by her father that only saw his daughter as piece of chess to move on the board in order to gain power.She didn’t even knew who she was if not Lady Y/n,a proper and polite young girl ready to marry in the royal house.But now she knew who she was,what she liked to eat,to read,what to do in her free time and it was all thanks to Aegon that had shown her how to be selfish for the first time and to live for herself.

«And I see myself now,I can see myself,but I'm not happy.Because I have a new wish,much more important:that you can see yourself in the same way I see you,the way our children already see you.Then yes,i would be happy.We would both be happy.»she told him,sincerely with a little smile on her beautiful face.

Y/n had plundered his last feelings,which were nothing more than bread crumbs left attached to the eaten crusts.If the world fell,the sun fell,all the snow,the hail,the rain and the lightning fell,even the rainbow.He will make fire pour from the sky,he will spill blood just to keep his family alive and safe besides him.

Aegon doesn’t say anything,he moves forward on top of her and kisses her one again.He has a wish now:time.The only thing he wanted was time,more time to see his children grow up and become beautiful people,time to spend with them and to teach them how the world works,to help them and hold their hands,to protect them when they were scared and to remains them that he will love them forever.More time with Y/n,to love and cherish her,to grow old with her,to make her smile and laugh at the most inappropriate times,to caress her sweet face at night as he watches her sleep.He just wanted more time,he deserved it.

«How about,the next time that rains,we go outside,just us.»Aegon murmurs on her lips«I have a wish to make.»he continued with a small smile.

And he prayed the gods,whoever could listen to him,that it would become true the moment Y/n giggled and nodded her head.He hoped but hope can do nothing against an already written destiny and then he will be ready to go to war.

[thyme-in-a-bubble]

can't fight the moonlight

kinktober, day twenty-nine

a/n: this one was a fantasy that was so fuzzy and took a surprisingly long time to figure out, but the hazy dream of it kept me going till i solved the puzzle

summary: it didn’t matter what you did or how hard you tried, you had no way of overpowering the beast the moonlight turned him into. 

warnings: werewolf!bucky barnes x reader, smut, bucky's wolf form is very humanoid looking (think more teen wolf, less twilight), dubcon/noncon, predator/prey, established relationship, monsterfucking, little to no foreplay, dirty talk, squirting, overstimulation, cock drunk, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, forced breeding, belly bulge, size kink, size difference

word count: 2345

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“…and you’ve got some water in case you get thirsty and-, oh! Do you have something to eat? A snack or something?” you blabbered tensely as you helped lock the heavy chains that your partner snaked securely around his own limbs, bolting him to the cold basement for the night, “because I could go make you-”

Letting the iron in his grasp suddenly fall to the floor in a loud clang, like a volcano he exploded, “no!” heatedly throwing his hands up as he fumed, “I don’t need a fucking snack, would you just-…” catching your wide eyes, his sudden anger thawed a bit as he finally heard his own words, “I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry,” you clutched your hands close to your chest, the keys tight in them dug into your palms.

Head lightly tilting to the side, Bucky let out a sigh, “you’re just trying to help and I’m-”

“It’s okay, I know,” you reassured him, “it’s the moon, I get it, don’t worry, darling,” you averted your gaze, staring down at the cold concrete floor, “I’m sorry about freaking out, like I do every month, but I just wanna do something that can make this better for you, even a little bit, anything, even though I know that there isn’t anything that can, I still can’t stop trying because I hate this,” you heard your voice grow thick and tears begin to blur up your vision, “I really really hate this.”

“Y/n…” you felt his fingers gently graze your cheek, bringing your glossy gaze back up to his, “you are helping, more than you even know. Before I met you, before you moved in and started being here every full moon, I was always terrified of getting out, terrified that I couldn’t detain myself enough and someone would end up getting hurt or worse… but I’m not scared of that anymore. It hasn’t happened once since you’ve been here to bolt the chains I can’t get to on my own and lock the doors from the other side. Plus knowing that you’ll be here when the sun eventually comes up, I hold onto that, no matter how painful it gets or how much I disappear, that fact doesn’t, it stays with me, keeps me somewhat sane throughout the night.” 

Letting out a shaky breath, you blinked away the mist in your eyes, trying to be brave as you uttered, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he exhaled, gazing at you as you leaned in to seal the final padlock with a click. Getting up to your feet, you stepped towards the door, but your fingers froze on the knob as Bucky’s voice filled the cellar once more, “try and get some sleep, okay? I’ll see you in a bit.”

Glancing over your shoulder at his shackled frame, sitting against the wall, skin already glistening from the pending trauma, you promised, “okay,” even though you knew this night wouldn’t be any different from the rest. 

You could never sleep when the moon was full, never even relax enough to rest for a bit. Even though the layers of resources that encased the basement silenced Bucky’s screams of agony from the rest of the neighbourhood as well as your own ears, just the knowledge that only one floor below where you were trying to slumber, there your beloved laid in pain as every single bone in his body had to break before he could turn into a monster of the moon, that awareness kept you up better than any caffeine could. 

Locking the solid steel door behind you, so you repeated with the one atop the wonky staircase, the rest of the house suddenly feeling so cold without his presence. 

Still clad in garb you’d worn to work, you couldn’t bother to change out of it even if the dress and stockings weren’t the most comfortable clothing to do an all-nighter in, you just seized the grey cabled cardigan draped over the armchair by the fireplace and shrugged it over top.

Holding the kettle under the tap to fill it up, your weary vision locked on the ominous sphere looming in the night sky clearly visible from the kitchen window. Losing yourself to the sight, too absorbed by the troubling thoughts it brought on, you only snapped out of the trance when cold water began to flow over the side of the pot and soak your hand that clutched it. 

“Oh, shit…” you mumbled as you hurried to turn off the water and pour some of the abundances back out into the sink. 

Placing it down on the stovetop, you listened to the gentle clicking that emanated before the eventual flame as you turned the knob. The slight heat radiating beneath the kettle persuaded you to shift into the living room and with the flick of a match, light the fireplace, granting yourself more of that soothing heat to help battle the night. 

You nearly jumped out of your skin when the water came to a boil, kettle whistling like a demon to relay the message. 

With a mug of tea in your hand, you curled up in the chair by the fire and picked up the half-read book discarded on the small side table. 

This was the routine, even though you never could concentrate, you still at least tried to distract yourself. 

A sudden bang ripped your eyes away from the page they had glazed over four times by now. Your vision instantly trained on the door to the cellar, clearly visible from where you were sitting. 

As the door then began to rattle rhythmically from an unyielding force, your body jumped at every thud, the novel in your grasp tumbling to the floor. 

Frozen in your seat, you watched as the door splintered, swiftly losing the short-lived battle and flying off its hinges.

With heavy footsteps, Bucky’s visage stepped into the light, except it wasn’t the Bucky you knew, not one you’d seen with your own eyes, but only ever heard tales about.

At first, you thought he still looked like himself, but as the firelight flickered across his form, you finally noticed just how altered he was. His natural body hair had quadrupled, fuzzing up his visage and the rippling muscles that hid beneath it, those as well seeming to have swelled up making his frame nearly unrecognisable. Though he always towered above your comparative stature, his height now was something else entirely. The sight of his eyes chilled you to the very bone, the calming blue was completely drowned out by a sea of black, with only a tiny golden flicker in the middle differentiating the obsidian. Nails long and tough like claws, broken chains still clung to his form as you watched his lip curl, a low growl rumbling throughout the room and letting you catch sight of his sharp teeth. 

Scarcely breathing at all, your hopes of him not noticing your presence began to fade as he predatorily sniffed the air. 

Your eyes suddenly grew wide as you spotted a part of him begin to swell up and come into the light. Throbbing, his unusually grand length intimidatingly curved upwards, it too haven grown just as the rest of his body had. 

Finally breaking through your terror, you sprung up and tried your best to run, though you didn’t get far as, within mere seconds, the natural hunter caught up to you and tackled you down to the ground, shredding the cosy knit you wore in the process. 

Cheek smooshed against the floorboards, you trembled beneath his beefy form as his flaming chest pressed against your back, knowing full well that if you made one wrong move, aggravated him in any sort of way, he could snap you like a twig. It didn’t matter what you did or how hard you tried, you had no way of overpowering the beast the moonlight turned him into. 

As your eyes flickered to the front door, it dawned on you that if he could break not only the chain that bound him, but also the strong basement doors, then the last barrier that kept him from the outside world wouldn’t even make him break a sweat. 

Growling directly in your ear, you felt his agitated breath fan across your face as his nose buried itself in your hair. Starved sniffs slowly travelling south, your heart nearly burst out of your chest as you felt him rip your clothes to shreds. Dress tattered and hanging off of you, your underwear swiftly disintegrated completely as only your stocking truly survived the attack, still clinging around your quivering thighs with only the smallest of tears to tell the tale. 

Grinding desperately against the curve of your form, his monstrous girth nudged against you, catching you off guard as even in this petrifying form, you still felt your body respond to him. 

“Bucky, Buck!” your voice squeaked in an attempt at breaking through to him, “it’s me! It’s me! It’s Y/n!” wildly flipping you over and roughly aligning himself with your core, you desperately tried to catch his dark eyes and try again, “Bucky, please!”

Joints locking up at the sound of your shrill cry, a flicker of reignition washed over his haunting glare, softening it slightly as you finally heard him speak, “…Y/n?” his voice was much lower than you’d ever heard it, though very much still his, “oh, fuck… I-…” a shaky breath escaped his lungs as he hovered above you, the tip of his cock nuzzled between your folds, “…I don’t think I can stop…” he grunted, his hand right beside your head digging into the floorboards and leaving splintery scratches in its wake, “I can’t fight it, I’m trying, but-”

“It's okay,” you carefully reached up and touched his cheek. You couldn’t let him run out that door and take some innocent lives. At this moment, all of his focus was aimed at you, so if it could just stay there and not stray till the sun came up, if you could distract him for only a little while longer, then the night might end without any unnecessary bloodshed. So, therefore, you gave in, “I love you, I love you so much,” your glistening eyes blinked up at him as you tried to speak with confidence, “you’re not gonna hurt me, I know you’re not. It’s okay, it’s-” 

Plunging into you, an almost animalistic noise accompanied his harsh action as the beast he’d become seized exactly what it desired. All of the air got pushed out of your lungs as he buried himself in you, stretching you out beyond belief and forcing a shuttering cry to tumble from your lips. 

Never mind the fact that he wasn’t wearing a condom, a thing the two of you had always been careful about, that detail fought to penetrate through the fog he sent you into. Stunned that you could even take it all, the sensation of him made your mind melt. You felt all of it. Every vein and every ridge, every jaw-dropping detail that decorated his monstrous cock drove you to madness.

“Fuck!” he snarled, bucking his hips so hard against yours that your whole body shook, the sloppy clapping of skin against skin filled the home as he greedily rammed against the deepest spot inside of you, “do you have any idea how long I’ve tried to break out of those chains?” leaning down closer, he inhaled deeply, “I can fucking smell you…” you shivered as his nose ghosted against yours, “all the way down in the basement, no matter where you are, I can always smell you… calling for me, begging me to come and rip you apart…”

Leaning back again, his bruising grip found your hips and plucked them up, holding them tight as the rest of you still laid melted against the floor like a puddle before him. Like a ragdoll in his grasp, he moved your body, fucking your drooling pussy like the ravenous beast he was. 

As your eyes fluttered down to where he virtually split you in two, the dull bulge that rhythmically appeared in your lower stomach at each and every one of his ruthless thrusts caught your attention, the vision making you dizzy. 

You had never felt like this, never felt anything so intense in your whole life. He was just so menacing, so magnetic, so massive. Your own enthusiasm caught you by surprise, especially as your cunt soon began to cry out around him, showing your living room floor in your want as you squirted all over his rock-hard girth. 

Usually, Bucky would slow down and give you a moment whenever you had an orgasm, but in this moment, tonight, it wasn’t your Bucky that was pounding the living hell out of you, it was someone else, something else, and that creature only seemed to get even more riled up by your lewd display as he picked up his speed till his gravelly groans grew louder and his efforts began to go sloppy. 

“Please, Buck,” you mumbly pleaded, picking up on his telltale signs through your cock drunk haze, “not inside.”

But he didn’t listen to you as he just kept on fucking you till he pumped your pussy full of his cum. 

Panting and puffing above you, he still kept up shallow thrusts, rocking you against him and pushing his load out of your overly sensitive cunt with every piercing plunge. 

“Buck?” you heard yourself uttered as you found his dark gaze, though what stared back at you was not your love anymore as there was no recognition to be found in his eyes at all. 

Slamming you back against him hard enough for it to sting, you shuttered at the possibility that he was nowhere near done satisfying his carnal desire. 

But just before he could ruin you completely, a sliver of light began to dawn on the far side wall. Glancing out the window, you barely managed to spot the morning crest over the treetops in the distance. 

© 2023 thyme-in-a-bubble 

[yuurivoice]

We've hit the stage of Echoes of Evalas' creation that I'm spending a lot of my quiet time with scenes and characters, including time that is usually occupied by...well, nothing creative. At least, it hasn't been creative time in a long while.

Some of the dearest and most important moments of my young creative daydreaming was before bed. If I might overshare, it was specifically as I lay in bed and tried to drown out unpleasantness I'd hear from other rooms of the house. I'll spare you the details.

I didn't even have music at the time, though in later years as I became a depressed teen, I'd throw some music on my computer to fantasize and fall asleep to.

Oftentimes, these stories and characters I'd contemplate were favorites from various things I enjoyed. In time they'd adapt and evolve into something of my own, in worlds and stories of my own making.

Sometimes it wasn't so grand. There were no sweeping narratives or adventures. Just some self insert character being comforted by a friend or a lover.

Recent nights, I've thrown on my EoE playlist and let my mind wander. I haven't really done that in a long time. Haven't had the need to these days. I'm not running from much. Life is quiet. But as I start to turn over more stones and find what's beneath some of the characters and themes I'm exploring, I've found myself here again.

I don't know if anyone will love what I am making, and I never have. Every person who has let my characters and stories into their hearts means a whole lot to me, though. I've not forgotten when all of this was nothing more than a comfort to myself to soothe away all my fear and loneliness.

As it all starts to come together I'm seeing a stark difference between where I am at as a writer and creative in general in comparison to BitterSweet Chapter 1, as I've revisited it recently.

The pieces were there but it's so clear to me that I didn't have the conviction that I do now. I didn't have the comfort or security of knowing that I can take chances and be bold. I thought I had to color within the lines, and lacked the confidence to really let it rip.

So as much as I've been looking forward, I've also looked back. Further back than I typically like to.

When Charlie said he never thought he'd be this old, that was real shit man. I was a morbid kid. I have a crystal clear memory of being on a school bus in Washington state. Blink 182 just dropped an album. I hate Blink 182, but I listened with a friend whose face I can barely remember. As the high schoolers got on the bus I remember thinking...damn, I'll never be that old.

Not sure what could possess a child to feel that way. Or how that feeling could linger for years. It took a long time to find enough faith in myself to live. Now that I've got it, I think I'm encouraged to give breath to those lost dreams and wandering fantasies. Echoes of Evalas is an exploration of that.

I can't even grasp what that really means yet.

Things like faith, anger, insecurity, and longing for change. I've rattled a lot of locked doors while digging up this story and putting it together.

I am uneasy. That's probably how I've ended up writing this essay in bed, and boy is it a rambling one.

There was a point somewhere. I am excited for what's to come, but uneasy. Not out of fear that anyone will like it or content brained thinking like that. More like...a reverence for this magical thing I've found. Storytelling is magical for me. And that's not me waxing poetic, I think there's something terrifying and beautiful about it. It is the thing I was made to do, and the actual experience of crafting a story like this isn't just fun. I'm removing chains from my soul.

If that ain't magic, I don't know what is.

Anywho, I need to sleep. If you read all that, thank you for putting up with my yapping. 💖

[elizabeth-holland24]

The Beast Within - Chapter 4 (Part 1)

Content Warning: Mentions of blood, there is yelling and two fights, Curses, Magic, Regret, Angst, some fluff. I think that's everything, but please let me know if I've missed something!

The night was thick with an almost suffocating stillness, the kind that seemed to press against the stone walls of the castle and seep into its very bones. Mausi felt it in her chest as she was escorted back to her room, her steps heavy and her thoughts even heavier. Dinner had been an unusual blend of camaraderie and sorrow, the enchanted staff eagerly sharing pieces of their pasts. They had once been vibrant, human, full of dreams. Now, they were trapped, prisoners like her, tethered by a curse she couldn’t yet comprehend. Her mind reeled with conflicting emotions: anger at Jake—at Hangman, as they called him—for holding them all captive, and a strange ache of pity for the same man. Who was he to condemn not only her, but everyone else to this fate? The flickering light of the sconces cast haunting shadows along the corridor. As they approached her door, Mausi slowed, glancing over her shoulder. The west wing. The mysterious west wing, which the staff refused to speak of and everyone had explicitly forbidden her from entering. That alone made it irresistible. She feigned a stumble, muttering a quick apology to Bradley, who was guiding her. As it turned to help, she slipped quietly down another hallway. Her breath quickened as she approached the wing, the air growing colder with every step. The grand double doors loomed before her, their carved wood warped and cracked with age, an ominous contrast to the rest of the pristine castle. She hesitated, her fingers hovering over the iron handle. Why does this place feel different? The doors creaked open with a groan, revealing a space that was in complete disarray. Dust blanketed the floor, furniture lay overturned, and torn curtains swayed with the wind. The moonlight spilling through shattered windows illuminated jagged shards of glass and splinters of wood. The air was heavy, carrying the faint scent of decay and forgotten memories. As Mausi stepped further inside, her eyes landed on a large, tattered portrait leaning against the wall. She crouched down, brushing away layers of dust and cobwebs. The image that emerged stopped her breath. It was a young man, perhaps in his late teens, with soft features that spoke of kindness and unguarded joy. His eyes, though painted, seemed to meet hers, stirring something deep within her. She couldn’t place it, but he felt… familiar. A strange sensation tugged at her, like a melody half-remembered from a dream. Who are you? she thought, her fingertips grazing the canvas. But before she could dwell further, her gaze was pulled to a faint glow deeper in the room.

She rose, drawn to the light like a moth to a flame. It led her to a balcony, where she found a glass dome standing alone on a pedestal. Inside, suspended in its own quiet radiance, was a single red rose. Mausi’s breath hitched. The rose shimmered faintly, as though alive, its delicate petals untouched by time or decay. She reached out, her hand trembling. There was something achingly beautiful—and heartbreakingly fragile—about it. The urge to touch it was overwhelming, as if by doing so, she might uncover the answers to questions she didn’t even know she had. The moment her fingers hovered near the glass, a feral roar ripped through the silence. “What do you think you’re doing?” Mausi spun around, her heart slamming against her ribs. Jake loomed in the doorway, his monstrous silhouette illuminated by the moonlight behind him. His green eyes, usually sharp and mocking, now burned with a mix of rage and fear. “What did you do?” he growled, striding toward her with dangerous purpose. “I-I didn’t touch it!” Mausi stammered, stumbling back. “I swear!” Jake reached her in two long strides, his clawed hand wrapping around her wrist with terrifying ease. She gasped as the tips of his claws dug into her skin, sharp enough to sting. “Do you have any idea what you could have done?” he snarled, his voice low and menacing. “You could have damned us all. For eternity.” “I didn’t do anything!” she cried, struggling against his grip. “Let me go! You’re hurting me!” Her words seemed to cut through his rage. Jake’s eyes flicked down to where his claws pressed into her wrist, a thin line of blood beading on her skin. The sight froze him, his grip loosening as a new emotion flickered across his face—horror. The scent of her blood hit him, sharp and metallic. He recoiled, as though burned, releasing her entirely. But he couldn’t stop the shame from flooding through him. “Get out,” he growled, his voice breaking slightly. “Go. Now.” Mausi didn’t hesitate. She bolted, clutching her wrist as she fled the room, her heart pounding with a mixture of fear and adrenaline. The castle seemed to come alive around her, its enchanted inhabitants urging her to stay, to not venture into the night. But she couldn’t stay—not after that. She grabbed her coat from the entry hall, ignored the pleading voices of the staff, and slipped through a narrow side door into the freezing winter night. The cold bit at her cheeks as she mounted Philip, her horse, and urged him into a gallop.

Part 2

A/N: So I had to divide into two parts again. I had a bit of inspiration before going to sleep. I also wanted to distract myself from the Bengals vs Chargers game. I'll edit and clean up the post better tomorrow. Also thank you so much for the love and support on this story. Don't forget to comment, like and reblog, so I know if you are enjoying it. I might do a tag list if you guys want. But yeah, I think that's all. Thanks for reading <3

[sheisaquarius-blog]

hi it's nort!!

(in case no one else requests -- feel no pressure to do mine first!!) i don't know if this is the type of fic you'd like to write, but maybe one about thim confronting his anxiety? i really liked your magic universe, and i think one about how his magic acts up the more anxious he is and how he copes/if or not he does cope!

thanks for letting people request :)

NORT :DDD PLEASE REQUEST OF ME ANYTHING YOU WANT, ANY TIME!!! i'm so happy to revisit the 'love like magic' au, and there's still more to come there, i think, but this was fun! admittedly, i had to rush the end as the deadline hit, but i hope you still like it!

Anthony never expected to burst, which, in hindsight, was pretty dumb of him. He’d always felt like there was something else inside of him, something more that sat in his body, right behind his lungs, pushing aside and growing around and rearranging all of his organs. His chest often felt tight, his heart squeezed and pressed against the surface of his skin, beating fervently but shallowly, desperately trying to keep him alive.

When he burst, he felt like that strange, bloated pocket behind his organs deflated. The sketchy, etchy lines all across his body were like rips in his skin where it all released, broken and uneven, like fissures in his body where all the extra of him had escaped.

It was a relief, honestly. Even if there was some sect of the world who would hate him for it, just knowing that it was there, that the strange and difficult feelings in his chest had finally broken out, was enough.

Well, as it happened, that wasn’t entirely true. Anthony had to switch doctors once he burst, to someone who specialized in post-burst teens. She had given him a dry, unamused look over the rim of her glasses when he told her that he felt better.

“That isn’t how magic works,” she’s told him, like she was exhausted. Like he had exhausted her. “It doesn’t affect your internal organs. We actually don’t know where it is before a burst, there’s no anatomical trace of it. Even after a burst, it appears only to exist in a mark.”

That night, Anthony dreamed that the lines on his body strangled him to death.

That little hollow set deep inside his ribcage only grew. It felt so rancid and swollen that only a few years later, he convinced his doctor to take an x-ray of his chest—if it wasn’t magic surely it was some kind of cancer or lesion. When the film showed perfectly normal white bone over opaque tissue, he felt tears of frustration pinch at the edges of his eyes.

Something was wrong with him.

He tried casting more spells, and when Ian burst as well (like Anthony always knew he would, no matter what Ian himself thought) he roped him in, too. Dumb teenagers, casting spells in empty parking lots, tucked away in Ian’s room, or behind the school after the buses left, and it actually made Anthony feel better. He could feel that swell inside him deflate, centimeter by centimeter. It would come back in raging force sometimes, and Anthony found himself terrified of his own body, until Ian would invite him over and the pressure would lessen, marginally, as Ian chatted about whatever bonding spell he’d found that week for them to try carving and enchanting.

At the end of senior year, Anthony went down in the middle of their school hallway, just out of the blue, with his heart palpitating thinly and his lungs filled up so he couldn’t breathe. His mark moved and shifted over his skin like snakes coiling, trying to wring the life out of him, crawling around his chest and his neck and his hands.

The next thing he knew, he was in the nurse’s office with an icepack on the back of his neck, his mark had stopped moving, and Ian had “gotten permission” (cut) from Ms. Waters’ study hall to pace around the glorified mop-closet of an office until Anthony felt well enough to go back to class.

Breathing ached like a muscle, tender with every movement, but he worked through it.

“Does your magic ever try and kill you?” he asked Ian, only half joking.

“No.”

“Oh. Cool.”

Ian sighed. “Your magic can’t kill you, dude. That’s not how it works.”

Anthony’s lip curls in a snarl. “You don’t know that—you don’t know how it works. Maybe I’m the first one who’s gonna die from their own magic. Or maybe it’s happened a lot before and we just don’t know.”

Ian shrugged. “Okay, yeah, I’m not an expert or anything, but . . . but Anthony, I don’t think your magic wants to kill you.” Ian didn’t give a ton of eye contact. He probably gave most of what he had to Anthony, but Anthony was still surprised by how steadily, how directly he held his gaze.

“Then what the hell is this?” Anthony demanded, gesturing with the ice pack vaguely towards himself. “Why does it feel like it does?”

“I dunno, dude, I just think . . .” Ian glanced at the door. They were alone in the recovery room, but the nurses could hear if they were too loud. “Sometimes I think it acts that way because you don’t want it.”

Anthony blinked, shocked. “What?”

Ian brought his shoulders up towards his ears, a guarded expression on his face, but he continued in spite of it. “Sometimes it feels like you’re trying to run yourself out of it, like you want to empty it. You want to be like before it was there.”

Ian wasn’t quite right, because Anthony had always known it was there, inside him, but perhaps he had a point. Casting spells and enchanting seals like it would go away if he finally just got to the bottom of the well—he was running himself (and probably Ian, too, at this rate) ragged. Maybe some of that ache in him was from too much exertion.

“I . . . I don’t know what else to do,” he said quietly.

Ian stood still for a moment, then sat beside Anthony on the bed. “I don’t know that I have the perfect answer, but maybe we take a break from spells for a weekend. We can—I dunno—get pizza and play video games or something. See if there are any parties happening. Just find something else to do. See if you can let it live with you for a weekend.”

“You’ll do it with me, though?” Anthony asked. He didn’t like the sound of any of it, but he liked it even less without Ian.

Ian glanced up at him again. “Yeah, dude. Of course.”

Anthony didn’t fully make peace with his magic until years and years later, but he did start that day. Slowly, something new slid into his chest, and instead of feeling even more like he was over-full, it was like a second pair of lungs, a second heart, slipped in helped him bear the weight of it all.

[aardvaark]

I watched Leverage growing up and when I eventually discovered the fandom online/on tumblr I was genuinely shocked to see everyone hated The White Rabbit Job when it had been one of my favorite episodes as a teenager. I understand it's fucked up (part of why I liked it) and a little or really a lot campy/unrealistic (part of why I liked it) but I always like (as an exception to the norm ofc, it works best when it's rare) when the mark is sympathetic, and I liked the weird dream state stuff, and what the story brings out in Sophie and Parker's characters/narratives (and Nate, too, and his arrogance/brilliance/faith in the team). I don't think it's necessarily still one of my favorite episodes but I still enjoy it, although I understand better why some people don't like it. It's just funny to me every time I think about it because I always remember my initial reaction of "what do you MEAN people dont like the white rabbit job????" < totally mystified teenager me

huh, i had no idea it was so unpopular! definitely not one of my favourites, and i can see why it might not be well-liked, but i didn’t know how much people disliked it. i’m pretty new to interacting with the fandom here. im guessing the problems are how much they mess with a guy who’s fairly decent iirc and how the idea of that kind of psychological manipulation happening to you would be pretty terrifying. i can understand that. sometimes surreal things are kinda triggering for various reasons - paranoia, delusions, OCD, etc. and no it’s probably not the most realistic of their cons haha!

though mainly i liked the parker moments anyway, not so much the con. there’s:

one of the last major moments in the sophie & parker relationship arc, with sophie saying she trusts parker to talk to the mark alone.

parker proving that sophie was right to trust her, too, because she talks the mark down by herself, and she does it *as parker*, not as a grift and not trying to emulate sophie. she does it in her slightly awkward, very parkerish, completely valid way - she’s earnest and brave, and it’s not what sophie would have said (sophie would probably be very sweet and soothing) but she doesn’t have to talk to people like sophie. parker’s own way of connecting works, possibly better than sophie’s method would have!

parker opening up a little about her brother. and talking about her Feelings to a stranger!!showing a bit of vulnerability and sharing!!

parker coming back at the end and asking if they’re all good, sophie asking her if they’re all good, and parker saying they are.

THE line "they thought i was crazy, but i never was! i never was" which is SO important. parker’s always taken it on the chin when people say she’s crazy, insane, that there’s something wrong with her (and not in the now-affectionate eliot way). people have told her that for a long time. maybe she’s even believed it. but now she insists that not only is she not crazy now (ie after some time with her new family who’ve helped her heal), but that she was never crazy - not when she was a traumatized and grieving autistic kid, not when she was a scared and closed off teen or young adult, not when she does or says things that people call "weird". and she says it like a realization and she sounds so determined and insistent and aaahh!!! it’s just so important!!!!!

anyway yeah. i guess i don’t know about the episode overall, but i enjoyed the parker moments. she’s my favourite, im not even gonna pretend lol. i really like the sophie & parker relationship beats in this one and that it shows how incredibly far parker has come - without changing who she is at her core. that’s how i viewed it, at least! totally willing to hear other opinions tho :)

[ink-beneath-her-fingernails]

ok but pjo au where the demigods slowly start gaining more powers and not all of them are tied to their parents

and maybe they don’t realize it at first. maybe the gods realize it before them and get scared. maybe none of them realize it at all for a while. but the demigods are out there. they’re traveling the world. they’re doing shit. and stories are spreading and social media is launching a whole bunch of shit and slowly the gods start losing their power and the demigods start gaining new ones

maybe annabeth leaves to go scout something out during capture the flag, and completely fades from sight as she does. it’s such a normal thing to them that nobody thinks to question it, they hardly even remember that her yankee cap is still stuffed in her backpack in cabin six from their last terrifying adventure. maybe percy loses the curse of achilles but the thing about amnesia is he kind of forgot he even had it in the first place, and nothing anyone does to him really seems to hurt him still, so everyone who knew he had it kind of just... assumes he still does when they see him again. they forget that he is of the deep sea, or maybe once was, or will be, and to be someone who lives and breathes and walks on the surface of the earth with no issues and still be able to survive in the depths, under such immense pressure, his skin is made of stuff stronger than the styx can conjure, and if it wasn’t then, it is now. maybe piper’s starting to see things now, visions of what once were there, or might have been, or will be, beyond when she’s looking in the knife, beyond the normal demigod dreams, not quite prophetic like rachel. it’s more like she suddenly has access to all the possibilities, and that is a very different, very dangerous thing, and she doesn’t know how to swallow it.

because what gives them power is belief, right? and people are starting to believe in them. they’re starting to talk about them, and give them names and domains and stories and offerings

maybe prophecies are a lot more opportunities than they let on. maybe every quest for the gods is a path of mortals they leave a little better than they find them, carved across continents. maybe a couple of kids get lost in the woods for weeks and weeks and just when people are starting to give up hope of finding them, a group of teen girls lead them out from the tree line, silver jackets thrown over their quaking shoulders, before disappearing into the ether. maybe someone’s car breaks down, and it’s the middle of winter and they don’t know how to fix it and they don’t have the time or money to take it into a mechanic, and they’re starting to panic because they need this car, and then this kid they saw at the soup kitchen earlier shows up out of nowhere, and they assumed the kid was there with family but they’re not, they’re here all alone, they say they’re new in town and not planning to stay for long, and when the kid asks why they’re still here and the person explains the situation to them, this kid just grins. easy, no problem, just give me a bit. and they say they can’t pay them and the kid just laughs it off, and an hour later they’re five bucks lighter because they bought the kid a sandwich and water from the corner store, and their car is in better condition than they bought it in, can go twice the distance on half the gas, and the kid bounces before they can even ask what their name is or dig out their phone to call child services and what do you mean their car can fly now. maybe a little girl is terrified because her parents aren’t home yet, and she has a new babysitter, has for three weeks now, but everyone else says she’s the same lady as before, that they’ve known each other for ages, but she keeps looking and looking and looking at the thing that smiles with too many teeth, that laughs a beat too long, that doesn’t know how she likes her sandwiches cut, that parts its hair on the wrong side, and she knows that this is not her babysitter. it’s not hurting her, because she has two flesh and blood bio parents even if they have to work a lot, it’s not doing anything, but her babysitter is missing and no one believes her. and then this guy who kind of looks like her older cousin (but not how her not-babysitter kind of looks like her babysitter) hears her talking to herself about it in the corner of the playground and puts a hand on her shoulder and promises that it’ll be alright. and then her not-babysitter is gone and no one talks about her anymore, but they aren’t insisting that nothing’s changed this time, either, and the new babysitter looks very, very different and doesn’t pretend to be something they’re not.

...and so on and so forth. and these not-gods are something real and tangible and are actually helping people in a very real and impactful way even if those people might not exactly see the full gamut of what they’re doing because ~mist~. and that spreads, and leads to more stories, and more belief, and more than all of that, it even gets them something they never asked for, something like devotion.

and they’re not gods, not really, like the gods aren’t titans and the gods aren’t primordials. they’re something else. maybe a step down, maybe one or two to the left, but... close enough, really.

idk just. the demigods getting to have a little bit of otherworldly power their parents aren’t directly responsible and some eldritch confusion. as a treat.

[911ficrecs]

Hurt/Comfort Masterlist

a leaf falls on loneliness by iimpossible_things - 11,163 words, not rated

Summary: Buck doesn’t think that if he were to say, “I’m in a bad place”, that anyone would turn him away. Really, he doesn’t. The 118 has too many good, kind people for that.

But every time he wants to open his mouth, to say something, to reach out to Eddie or Bobby or Hen or Chim, he hears Eddie yelling, “you’re exhausting.”

—you’re exhausting, you’re exhausting, you’re exhausting—

So each day he does his job and he laughs and he jokes and he pretends he’s the care-free goofball he’s always been. And each day he packs away his bruises and his worries, takes them home to his empty loft with its quiet rooms, and licks his wounds in silence.

blue enough to bruise by renecdote - 3,161 words, teen+

Summary: Two things happen at once:

Buck overbalances, arm slipping from around the bridge.

The rope snaps.

They lock eyes for a second, half a second, Buck’s wide and afraid, Eddie’s probably a match with the way his heart is pounding hard enough to hurt, nothing either of them can do, knowing that there is nothing either of them can do, and then—Buck is falling.

Drowning in Dreams (You're My Raft) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels - 5,434 words, explicit

Summary: In which Buck sleeps his way into a relationship with Eddie, but not in the way you'd think.

fireflies where my caution should be by littlesnowpea - 13,799 words, mature

Summary: “You never talk about your parents,” Eddie says, which is not even remotely what Buck expects Eddie to say. He frowns, tilts his head, but it isn’t a question, as evidenced by Eddie charging on. “I never asked because I figured it was your business, but the look on your face any time they’re brought up tells me you don’t get along.”

Buck swallows hard, against a lump in his throat. His parents? Eddie’s right, he never talks about them, for good reason. He opens his mouth, then closes it again, not sure what he’s even going to say.

Eddie takes it as the answer Buck is trying to make it out to be. He squeezes Buck’s wrist again, takes a deep breath, like he’s on a call with someone who’s panicking. Buck finds his breathing slowing to match Eddie’s, and Eddie nods as Buck gets it under control.

“There are people on the porch,” Eddie says, voice even. “Saying they want to meet their grandchild.”

i'm sinking deeper (reaching for the end of the light) by moodyreindeer - 8,716 words, mature

Summary: "I'm just so tired."

post 3.04, rewrite of 3.05 - when all is said and done, Buck is just really fucking tired of feeling alone.

Life Is Just The Way You Hold Me by allyasavedtheday - 10,142 words, teen+

Summary: Eddie needs a hug and some sleep. Buck, quite literally, offers his services.

Love You Sober by Child_Of_Wonderland - 4,545 words, teen+

Summary: Buck twirls the beer bottle around in his fingers and tries to ignore the rapid fading of the warmth in his chest. It's not a feeling he can mimic, no matter how hard he may try, and his brain won't stray from a perfect image of Eddie. To be loved back, that's all he really wants.

one part trust, three parts betrayal (just add fire) by wonderfool (foolmetal) - 14,925 words, teen+

Summary: Buck's parents are in town. It all goes downhill from there.

Reaching In The Dark by Pline - 38,713 words, general

Summary: It all started innocent enough but Buck can no longer deny it.

He has a stalker.

Someone so obsessed with him that they would spend hours and hours following him, unnoticed, taking pictures of him, taking notes of his habits.

But life has been so good lately, and Buck doesn’t want to worry anyone. So he tells no one about it, he can deal with it on his own.

real family by haveufoundwhaturlookingfor - 5,578 words, general

Summary: Buck has a son, but only few people know about him because of Buck's abusive ex-husband. Buck has been terrified of his ex-husband finding him and taking his son away from him, but a minor accident with his son makes him realize that maybe it wouldn't be so bad if he told the 118 about his son.

returning home by haveufoundwhaturlookingfor - 5,162 words, teen+

Summary: Eddie has been away in the army a few years, leaving Buck at home to watch over their son, Christopher. Things are stressful for Buck, but he tries to put on a brave face for Christopher while they patiently wait for Eddie's return.

Some wounds never heal by yellowdaisy2023 - 8,964 words, general

Summary: After Buck comes out as bi, Ana voices her dislike for Buck.

there's frost in the air (but there's home in your eyes) by rogerzsteven - 3,702 words, teen+

Summary: Buck and Eddie are trapped in a train crash.

this is me trying (at least i'm trying) by screaminghalfpastmidnight - 15,393 words, teen+

Summary: Buck never really dealt with his issues after the tsunami and the team never really asked so here he is, two years later - the pier's reopening, a victim shows up and thanks Buck, plus the city wants to give him an award for not dying out of pure luck. So, yeah. Buck's not doing well, everyone knows and Eddie's unsure which lines he should be crossing now that he and Buck are in some weird, middle stage of knowing that they will be together, but aren't yet due to personal reasons (like figuring their own relationship trauma out so they're not shitty partners).

you can say we're still friends ( but i don't wanna pretend ) by swiftiediaz - 8,487 words, teen+

Summary: Eddie talks about his feelings for Buck. Hen and Chimney take matters into their own hands and set them up on a blind date without their knowledge.

[yeehanfrf]

Week 5 Recs: Golden Oldies

This week's Yeehan fic rec theme was "Golden Oldies," or those fics from Overwatch's early days that left a lasting impression. I asked for recs from 2016 and 2017, and boy, did folks have plenty! Check out the recs gathered from the Yeehan community below, organized by rating then alphabetically by title.

Not Rated

Fair Enough (5 Things McCree Can Do But Doesn't Let On + 1 He Simply Won't) by AsheRhyder [5,776 words] Reccer comment: "Everything AsheRyder wrote during this period is solid gold. Tasty, angsty gold."

“So what do you say? You interested?” McCree’s smile was as wide and inviting as an open door. Hanzo looked over the scruffy cowboy with a critical eye and a severe frown. “No,” he said and watched the door shut, quiet and easy. “Fair enough.” McCree tipped his hat and sauntered off.

In the months that followed, Hanzo learned many things about McCree that made him change his opinion on man; amazing, curious, and terrifying things. The most infuriating of them being this:

Jesse McCree never asked twice.

Lucid Dream by Somebody_Someone [WIP; 277,255 words] Reccer comment: "one of my two all time favourite, brain chemistry altering fics!"

Years ago he was a successful writer, and now he is struggling to get by every single day. Between art block, depression, insomnia and a comatose brother, Hanzo is constantly hanging on by his fingernails.

One day, he finds solace in the strangest shape; lucid dreams of a most unwelcoming land where he meets a terribly frustrating cowboy, gets in deep trouble and goes on a quest for a mysterious treasure. With the insufferable cowboy as his guide.

The journey will be long, scattered with obstacles and dangers, but may it be enlightened by the unexpected blooming of a friendship and perhaps something deeper.

Two Noons in their Moccasins by Scrumpadouchus [WIP; 89,675 words] Reccer comment: "This!! It's a Your name AU and it's still a work in progress but it's seriously gold! I suggest to watch the film before but for me this ff is a 10/10"

In which an archer and a cowboy start suddenly waking up in each others' bodies, and they attempt to make the most of being suddenly dropped into the life of a complete stranger.

In the process they make some mischief, make some mistakes and change each others' lives.

Teen and Up

A Comedy of Eros (A Tragedy of Communication in Five Acts) by AsheRhyder [9,886 words]

Hanzo wondered why they even made mission plans when they all went horrifically wrong. Take this last one: what was supposed to be a quiet artifact retrieval from Ilios turned into a brawl with Talon over an ancient quiver full of arrows.

Arrows that, apparently, had some Very Interesting Side Effects on enemy and friend alike.

Good Fences Make Good Neighbors by vandoodle [75,467 words]

Hanzo Shimada regrets ever joining Overwatch after he is paired with Jesse McCree, known cowboy enthusiast, and dropped off in the middle of American suburbia. Forced to blend in with the environment, endure neighborhood cookouts, and share his new living space with his so-called 'Husband', the two prepare to preform the ultimate sting operation: taking down the Vishkar corporation once and for all. He can't help but think this will all go horribly wrong.

Or, alternatively titled: the undercover fake-marriage fic that every fandom deserves.

Hanzo: Koi no Yokan by franklytriggering [WIP; 15,998] Reccer comment: "this one's not hyped up enough imo. should be a classic. (unfinished by honestly the ending still slaps!)"

Hanzo struggles to rein in his delinquent brother, Genji, as their father's health wanes and obligation demands their answer. While their fate speeds towards its inevitable breaking point, Hanzo wrestles between family tradition and his wayward emotions-- marrying well, or giving in to his own needs.

Heartless by AsheRhyder [6,504 words]

Once upon a time, a wicked sorcerer cut out his heart and sealed it away. He hid it in a needle, put the needle in an egg, put the egg in a duck, put the duck inside a rabbit, and put the rabbit in a box on an island at the end of the world. So long as his heart was safe, nothing could kill him. Or so the legends say, anyway. Nowadays, people know what a silly story that was. Nobody bothers with rabbits anymore.

Cole Cassidy has no heart.

Like the River by Goodluckdetective (scorpiontales) [5,847 words] Reccer comment: "I do love me some good ol 'dragons expose Hanzo's inner workings'"

Dragon Spirits don’t trust just anyone.

McCree never expected for them to ever trust him.

Or how McCree gained some trust, won a shootout, almost caught the flu, and proceeded to be the most handsome damsel in distress Overwatch has ever seen.

Lone Wolf by AsheRhyder [Series; 66,124 words]

After the fall of Overwatch, Jesse McCree survived for years like a lone wolf. But wolves weren't meant to live alone, and as the Recall draws heroes back to the forefront, he'll have to learn how to adapt or get left behind again.

Lotus-Eater by AsheRhyder [16,116 words]

Only Jesse McCree would have the ridiculously bad luck to be abducted by a mad scientist during a mission.

In the aftermath, the line between dreams and waking blurs and distorts. Which holds more weight; the flawed reality, or the perfect dream? Which is worth fighting for? Which will hurt him worse?

More Than True by AsheRhyder [Series; 34,346 words]

"Fairy tales are more than true..." -G.K. Chesterton.

In which there are dragons, and castles, and monsters of all sorts.

OR

That series of stories in which buildings repeatedly fall on Hanzo.

People Like Us by fishpoets [8,764 words]

Jesse's never much believed in 'happily ever after', but it turns out it might be possible after all, even for a man like him. That is, if life doesn't ruin it for him first.

Mature

Adaptation by CommonNonsense [13,315 words]

McCree always did like a challenge, and Hanzo Shimada is a bundle of challenges wrapped up in a handsome package and tied with a gold ribbon.

Body Heat by BatKatBrown [2,575 words]

Little oneshot inspired by this comic which is amazing. http://disteal.tumblr.com/image/158383507645

Crown of Horns by Anonymous [150,888 words] Reccer comment: "I've recently started Re-reading one of my fav old ones: Crown of Horns (mind the tags!)"

"But you know, I rather like the idea of you as one of those beasts. Wouldn't that look nice for the clan, Hanzo? A living, breathing dragon, chained to a post in the gardens."

four days by feyhound [23,869] Reccer 1 comment: "one of my all time favs Four Days"

Reccer 2 comment: "One of my first fav is this 🥰 I have a weak spot for fics like these 🥺"

“I have an embarrassin’ favor to ask of you,” Cole says.

Hanzo stares at him expectantly, a single brow arched. “And what is that?” he asks.

“Y’see, my family might currently be under the impression that I’m bringin’ home a date for a few days next week. And, the thing is, I don’t really have one. So, I’m currently S-O-L and would really, really appreciate it if you came home with me for a few days and, uh. Pretended. To be my boyfriend.”

He stares down at his plate and jabs a fry into the enormous puddle of ketchup gathered in the center of it. If only the fry could be his hypothetical four-day boyfriend, he thinks; it would save him an enormous amount of embarrassment. It would be tastier, too.

[ Or - Cassidy desperately needs a fake date to bring home to his family, and Hanzo never does anything half-assed. ]

Foxhole Dreaming by fishpoets [18,569]

After Hanzo and McCree are ambushed on an undercover mission and McCree is injured, they need to hide out in a secret bunker that McCree knows of while they wait to be rescued. The prospect of a few days in close-quarters alone with McCree wouldn't be a problem, except for one thing: Hanzo's feelings for the gunslinger don't stop at friendship.

Hang the Fool by AlmaMeDuele [231,922 words] Reccer comment: "i remember reading it in 2017 and its still my fav one in this fandom"

How the heroic organization Overwatch acquires the talents of one Hanzo Shimada, and how gunslinger Jesse McCree will probably suffer because of it for the rest of his days.

Love Bites and Liquid Courage by timehopper [4,633 words]

McCree should not show up at his door in a drunken haze this often; and yet every time he does, Hanzo lets him in.

May I by Ingridarcher [182,716 words] Reccer comment: "my rec is the first Yeehan fic I read that I remember making An Impression on me"

"We're nothing alike, Shimada. You? You fell down from the sky. And me? I clawed my way up, outta the dirt."

Jesse was there. He was on the Blackwatch team that dragged Genji Shimada's body away and brought it back to the Overwatch medical facility. He saw what Genji's brother, Hanzo, did to him. Now, Overwatch has been recalled, and when Genji comes back he brings along the last person McCree ever expected: his murdering brother. And while Hanzo seems oddly drawn to McCree, Jesse wants nothing to do with him.

Points on a Circle by AughtPunk [111,325 words] Reccer comment: "it's not exclusively yeehan but omg it's such a well-crafted piece"

It began when Cole Cassidy summoned one of Hanzo's dragons in the middle of battle.

It began a month ago when Hanzo looked at Cole and realized he's already in love.

It began an hour ago when Satya heard the word 'magic' and refused the believe.

It began six months ago when Genji introduced his his brother to Cole, not knowing the two of them have a past.

It begins.

Undercover by lyriumveins [14,749 words]

Hanzo is a new member of Overwatch, working undercover in a coffee shop with a few other agents. He’s adjusting to his new life – and making good progress on his missions – when he starts finding ridiculous messages scrawled on coffee cups… Messages that are, apparently, for him. While he’s convinced it’s all just a ridiculous prank, D.Va calls them “pick-up lines” and insists that he has a “secret admirer.”

Whiskey Lullaby by CaptainCorgi [WIP; 64,791 words] Reccer comment: "Unfinished! But classic"

The buzz of the communicator had him jumping, knee slammed against the metal desk and a string of curses followed. Not looking, Jesse palmed the device, opening its front screen and stopped cold. The message wasn't from any of his team mates. In fact it wasn't from Overwatch at all. There was no sent from address, no name, and it contained one sentence.

Recipient: 10.29M.76 Status: Urgent Subject: -

Message:

Welcome home.

Who Taught You How to Hate by Valpur [46,594 words]

He’d always known it was going to happen. There weren’t many ways to go for a rogue like him, but all in all he would have much preferred a clean hole in his skull rather than being hanged for robbery and murder. Especially because this one single, fucking time he was not guilty.

--

McCree is having the worst time of his life and an outlander happens to save his sorry ass. Things go awfully weird after that - and he enjoys it all too much.

Explicit

Afterdrop by ClaroQueQuiza [WIP; 638,116 words]

Overwatch can be forgiven for keeping Hanzo at arm's length despite the endorsement of his intended murder victim. Six months of provisional membership, spent in the field, is a reasonable compromise.

But not everyone is on board with giving Hanzo a chance.

Cassidy, least of all.

Backroom Deals by dragonspell [7,754 words]

“Oh.” Jesse shifts on the chair, rattling the cuffs again, as his eyes dart helplessly downward, drawn by a kind of gravitational force. “I was wondering if you might, uh, show me your ankles?”

(Or, Jesse gets himself captured while trying to infiltrate a Shimada safe house and he and Hanzo reach a deal; Blackwatch-era, slight-AU; the foot fetish McHanzo that no one asked for)

the best medicine by fishpoets [4,298 words] Reccer comment: "Happy smut"

Hanzo and Jesse, a successful mission, a night alone together. Bad jokes and lots of laughter.

The Dragon's Mate by kdwalbring [116,347 words] Reccer comment: "The dragons mate is one I will always recommend! I've reread this more times than I can count all the way through and love it more each time!"

Talon is too powerful for the newly formed Overwatch to handle head-on, so plans are made to infiltrate one of their strongest supporters. Jesse McCree hasn't found a home or family quite like what he had in Blackwatch, but he's determined to protect his new friends whatever it takes.

Turns out, mating to your best friends murderous brother is what it takes and he goes willingly. Something's not right in the Shimada clan though and he's going to figure it and Shimada Hanzo out.

Or: Arranged Marriage Yakuza ABO AU, because all the things! THIS WILL HAVE A HAPPY ENDING!!

Familiar Habits by Philosophics [8,176 words] Reccer 1 comment: "I really like this one"

Reccer 2 comment: "One of my first ever Yeehan bookmarks back in the day!"

After joining Overwatch, Hanzo finds it difficult to sleep some nights. It is nothing a hot cup of tea cannot fix, but he never expected that he would have company.

(or: hanzo is very thirsty, in more ways than one)

I got this fever, fever burning inside by CourtneyCourtney [11,300 words]

Hanzo has heard stories of this 'weapon', the most lurid tales courtesy of McCree, naturally. A libido accelerant Talon injects intravenously, giving its victims the option of mauling a stranger for sexual release, forcing themselves on a teammate and ruining any trust built between the two, or - to quote Jesse's turn of phrase - dying of "blue balls."

In other words, not a way for someone like Jesse McCree to go. Not if Hanzo is determined to help. It would be a shame to lose a colleague as altruistic and reliable as McCree to a weapon so primitive.

If he has to choke out the voice at the back of his mind questioning his own altruism in performing this act, then so be it.

(or, McCree gets sex pollened by Talon, and Hanzo helps him out the way any good friend would (Really. Stop gagging, Genji.))

Ichigo by morrezela [27,121 words] Reccer comment: "Ichigo will forever be my go to fic. 😭😭 even tho it’s so heartbreakingly good"

They break up on a Wednesday

It's All Your Fault by Cadeykat [25,100 words]

Hanzo Shimada joins the ranks of Overwatch and finds that he quite likes teasing the resident cowboy. That is, until a single compliment ruins his thought process, and he has to deal with feelings he's not exactly well versed in.

Magic McCree by Cadeykat [15,105 words]

Hanzo Shimada does not want to be here, he does not like strip clubs and never has. And Genji is wrong, he does not need to 'get laid', no matter how long this dry spell has lasted. He knows he'll regret being here tonight, and he needs a drink. And the tall glass of water clad in plaid that just bumped into him could be what cures his thirst.

More than Most by leoandlancer [7,103 words] Reccer comment: "Shooting at your loved ones always works to confess your love, right?"

Initially, McCree thinks he's the one chasing Hanzo for time alone. However, after Hanzo tips his hand slightly playing target practice, McCree's less certain. Then Hanzo accompanies him to a private island, where he neatly lays to rest all of McCree's assumptions about his reticence. McCree simply chased until Hanzo finally caught him. Short little thing because McHanzo smooches and smut are giving me so much joy.

Poker Face by Cadeykat [28,383 words]

“Shark, my ass. Man cleared out $60,000 at the first table he played at.”

Hanzo shrugs, silently delighting in how Daniel sucks in a bracing breath at his nonchalance. Oh, he loves riling him up. Serves him right for calling him in on his day off. “So? That’s not entirely uncommon. Perhaps he’s just good at poker.”

“He’s won almost $250 grand over the last four days.”

Oh.

This is going to be fun.

Scoundrels and Thieves 'verse by vaguely_concerned [WIP; Series; 127,655 words]

Canon AU where the Shimada family and the Deadlock gang used to do business, Hanzo and Cassidy had a thing… and then Cassidy gets the ‘offer’ from Overwatch.

stop me if you've heard this one by losebetter [WIP; 9,516 words] Reccer comment: "my oldest yeehan bookmark, a very old WIP, but I recommend it regardless and still occasionally reread it because it's so good"

love or death. grab an end, pull hard, and make a wish. richard siken.

--

“Mmm. And, here, here is the best part of this, Jesse,” Hanzo slurs, afterwards, about oh-two-hundred by Jesse’s estimation. He’s standing around nude in the en suite, and Hanzo looks downright decadent lounging in the wrecked sheets back on the bed, all dark eyes, dark hair that cuts down over one shoulder like spilled ink. His long fingers shift on the flask propped up next to him, and Jesse swears some part of his tattoo ripples with the movement, too eye-catching to have come from the dim ceiling light. Maybe he’s still a little tipsy, but he can’t pretend he’s never seen Hanzo in action before, either.

Target Panic by Philosophics [20,500 words] Reccer comment: "an old fav of mine, funny, sexy and a bit angsty"

McCree looks him steadily in the eyes. “I said, I’m in love with you,” he repeats. Hanzo stares some more as the words sink in. “You,” he states imperiously, “are mistaken.” Then he promptly turns on his heel and strides out the open carrier door. - In which McCree confesses his love, Hanzo has some difficulty believing him, and the team seems entirely unable to keep from sticking their noses into the whole affair.

We're all Blackwatch Now by firefly_quill [WIP; Series; 18,491 words]

“Blackwatch under scrutiny after complaint from Japanese government”.

How Jesse McCree gets in trouble *for* following orders, for once.

This wraps up the Week 5 recs! Thank you to everyone who sent in a recommendation! Keep an eye out for next week's theme: "Show & Tell," all about the love confessions.

In the meantime, you can also check out the Week 4 recs here or check the list of past and future themes here!

[olive-gardens-breadstick]

MORE DC HEADCANNONS

bruce wears his mothers pearls, he gathered every last pearl in his little hands before the police got there and either had the necklace remade by a trusted jeweler whom he watched over as they did or remade it him self (after doing copious amounts of research of course)

monopoly and clue are banned from game night

diana is supposed to be the goddess of the moon and hunt, in Greek mythology but diana is actually the goddess for that in roman mythology. now

Aphrodite made the gauntlets she wears to like make sure she uses her powers for good (i think dont quote me on that) what if zeus suppressed his actual daughter, artemis within diana so she would kill ares when the time came (bc rome came after greece and diana wouldnt know ares wa her bother)

when bruce’s kids find the pictures on him with the cats (most of the notes on the back are written by oliver or martha) then spend hours looking through them because their dad is happy in these photos!!! he’s smiling!!

they also digitize them all (front and back) and put them on a flash drive shaped like a paw

after finding them in the attic they decide to snoop around for some more pictures of their dad before batman and find ONE (1) photo of him oliver harvey and harley at a drive in dress as the characters from rocky horror (bruce - dr frankenfurter oliver - janet harvey - brad harley - magenta) upon finding this the immediately to question them they go as civilians and get nothing out of oliver almost nothing out of harvey and way more than they asked from harley

despite being an alien clark is terrified of the ‘alien’ movies

clark met bruce as a teenager and bruce is so thrilled clark has no recollection of this

before they found out bruce was batman he was the justice leagues ‘if i had to pick a guy’ and it took oliver every fiber of his being to not think about it or piss himself laughing

the teen titans and young justice and similar situations when dick and tim were robin

at one point steph said ‘we cannot possibly ALL be dating superman it is not mathematically possible’ at dinner

damien is the only one to ever actually date a superman (jon) and when they ask jon why he would date damien he just shrugs and says ‘once he stops biting and you start to observe him carefully you can see he cares a lot just like bruce!’

the ‘just like bruce’ comment sends them into the stratosphere and they immediately start observing and sure enough jon was right bruce doesn’t say much but does things, when one of them mentions something something about it is done and dealt with (tim’s grapple got crumpled by bane? a new updated version is by his suit next patrol. cass mentions she wants black point shoes? in her bag and broke in by her next practice. steph mentions how she wants batburger before patrol? she’s gotten it twice before the night is over.) they mention this at the league while bruce is away and oliver confirms he’s always been like that, something he got from his mom

star fire hates the taste of actual strawberries but loves strawberry flavoring

kon loves lemon anything and once was in the news for just eating a lemon (tim and rest absolutely flamed him for it)

dream tried to skate board in a dream once and ate shit( it rained in the dreaming for two weeks)

dream’s favorite human food is an extinct banana

[sergeantsporks]

Gilded Family

Rating: Teen and Up, Gen

Ch 21/?: Months Ago...

Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5, Ch 6 , Ch 7, Ch 8, Ch 9, Ch 10, Ch 11, Ch 12, Ch 13, Ch 14, Ch 15, Ch 16, Ch 17,  Ch 18, Ch 19, Ch 20

In which none of the previous golden guards or wittebro died, actually, they're all fine and living happily together as one big dysfunctional family

Ao3

Goodbye, Golden Guards.

Belos raised his scythe, but it was Phoenix looking down at a terrified Jason and Hunter, Phoenix who swung downwards at them.

“No!” Phoenix blinked up at a starry sky, blinking. “Hrngh?”

A dull ache throbbed in his arms and ribs, but considering the way the skull had fallen apart, he was surprised it wasn’t worse.

“HEYA!” A blue and yellow face appeared over him with a grin. “You’re awake! Fiiiiinally! You were so boring!”

Phoenix rolled out of… a bed? with a yelp, scrambling backwards away from the Collector. “Stay back!”

Collector laughed, flopping on his stomach in midair and kicking his legs. “Re-lax, I’m not gonna hurt you. Right, King?”

The tiny demon kid from the head waved at him from on top of a spinning blue star, now clothed in starry robes and a matching hat. “Uh. Hey. Yep. Not hurting people is our whole thing! Just… just playing games!”

Phoenix rubbed his eyes. “I’m still dreaming. Right? Wow. The other dream was more realistic than this, this is…” He stood up. “This is… are we on top of a tiny planet?”

All around them was endless space and stars, save for a window of bright light, and the little planet they stood on.

“It’s real,” King assured him, “I, uh, I saw you falling on the day of unity, and…”

“And I SAVED YOU,” the Collector yelled, punching one fist in the air. “BAM. Our first owl house adventure, swooping through on a star to catch you, and WHAM! Now you’re back here with us! This is our room, in the archive house!” He tapped his chin. “Maybe I should make bunk beds… those would be fun, or even a TRIPLE BUNK BED! Might make story time hard, though. We’ll see. Hm.” Collector circled around Phoenix’s head. “That liar Phillip said he destroyed all of his grimwalkers, and I couldn’t play with them, but he was wrong, wrong, wrong! And now you’re here, and we can be friends, like he kept saying maybe one day! Ha, take that, Phillip, your grimwalker is my friend now. Right? We can be friends? I saved you.”

Phoenix glanced at King, who nodded frantically. “…Sure… we can be friends…”

“YES! You can be our Hunter, do you know what he’s like? Yeah, of course you do. I bet you know about lots of adventures we could do, Belos sent you on adventures for him all the time. Hey, are there any more of you? Are all of them alive?!”

So he didn’t get Caleb and the others. Good.

“No. Just me.”

“Awwww, we could have had enough players for any game. Oh, well, I guess there’s always the others.” The Collector sat cross-legged in midair. “Are you hungry? I bet you’re hungry, I think mortals have to eat like every three hours or they die or something. That’s why puppets are easier.”

Puppets?

“…What exactly is it that you want?”

“Huh? What a weird thing to ask. Oh, yeah! I forgot!” Collector snapped his fingers, and a bundle of cloth fell down from out of nowhere into Phoenix’s hands. “That’s for you, new friend! So we can all match! Don’t worry, King and I will leave the room so you can change, no peeking, promise.”

The Collector floated out into the bright light, and King hopped towards Phoenix. “Just… play along with what he says, okay? The alternative is… not great.”

He bounced up into the air and out of the square of light, and Phoenix sat back down on the bed with a whump. At least everyone else had gotten out. The kids to the human realm and… hopefully everyone else had just gone home.  

Phoenix shook out the bundle of cloth. The clothes were silky, a deep blue long-sleeved tunic, and pants in a dark lavender. Stars dotted the hem of the tunic, the collar, and the ends of the sleeves. A golden moon glinted up at him from a belt buckle.

Alright. I’ll play for now.

He changed clothes, checking himself for injuries. He twisted his upper torso, wincing as his ribs protested. Yeah. Those were broken, or at least bruised. Bruises, bruises… Phoenix picked at the edge of the bandages around his arms, but didn’t remove them. He’d have to eventually, he needed to check on those wounds, but with any luck, he’d get out of this… archive house… first.

Phoenix yanked the tunic over his head and retied his ponytail.

“Alright… now how… do I…”

Phoenix jumped, the way he’d seen King do, and he rocketed away from the tiny planet with three beds, soaring through the window of light. Whatever weird gravity was in that room disappeared, and his feet tapped onto solid stone at the top of a staircase. Collector clapped his hands.

“Yay! You look great! Okeydokey, so, we have a couple of adults around, don’t worry about them, they’re here to help! Mamadalia!”

A woman with bright green hair stood at the bottom of the stairs, looking up at the Collector’s call. “Yes… Collector?”

“This is… Uh, Hunter, right?”

“It’s Phoenix.”

“Oh, whew, that’s way cooler. This is Phoenix! He’s been super sleepy and just woke up, so he’s, like, really hungry! Can you get uuuuuuuusssssss… King, quick, what do mortals eat?”

“Uhhhh, food? Fruit… vegetables… pizza bagels…”

“I don’t really need anything,” Phoenix tried, “I’m—"

“Pizza bagels for Phoenix!”

“Why dooon’t I just go with… Mamadalia?” Phoenix suggested, “That way I can make sure there’s enough for everyone?”

“Awww, okay, yeah. Come back soon!”

Phoenix walked down the stairs as quickly as he could without running. “Let’s go.”

“Mamadalia” raised one eyebrow, but turned heel and clicked down a hallway with no further comment. Phoenix chased after, looking behind him to make sure the Collector wasn’t following.

“How long has it been since the day of unity?”

“A day or so. Relax, you haven’t missed anything.”

Phoenix waved a hand at the hallway. “I think I’ve missed quite a bit! Sorry. I’m sorry, what’s your real name?”

“Odalia. Odalia Blight.”

“You’re okay?”

“Do you mean besides the fact that I’m wearing the most ridiculous outfit in the world? But oh, I suppose I’ll survive.”

“Alright.” Phoenix grabbed her wrist and ran towards a window, tugging her behind him. “Don’t worry. We’re getting out of here.”

Odalia yanked her arm away. “What on earth are you talking about? Getting out of here? I may be… Mamadalia, but it’s better than the alternative, thank you! No one is ‘getting out of here’!”

Phoenix yanked open the window.

The Isles fell far, far below them, miles down. The closest any land to the ‘archive house’ was the remaining horn of the titan, and the house was even floating above that.

“We aaaaare… flying.”

“What an astute observation.”

Phoenix brought his head back in and shut the window. “Okay. We’ll find another way.”

Odalia snorted. “There is no other way. You aren’t going anywhere. Try anything, and I’ll call for the Collector.”

Phoenix stared at her, gaping. “Are you serious?!”

“Listen up… whoever you’re supposed to be… I’m not putting my neck on the line for some half-baked escape plan. I perform the role of Mamadalia and get access to one of the most powerful beings in the universe. If I play my cards right, I not only rule this miserable dump heap, but shape it into what I want.”

Phoenix gestured towards the window and the broken skull outside of it. “Do you really think you can control that?!”

“Oh, please. He may be powerful, but he’s a silly child. I know how to handle children.” Her eyes gleamed. “And if I tell him you tried to escape, then that makes me more trustworthy and removes some of the… competition.”

“You know what else would remove competition? Letting me escape. But fine. Fine.” Phoenix stalked down the hallway. “Why don’t you just show me where the kitchen is, and we can leave each other alone?”

Odalia chased after him. “Or… I’m willing to let you in on the spoils if you help me.”

“And what could I, the competition, possibly offer?”

“I haven’t been picked for the role of ‘friend.’ You have. That gives you a closer position to the Collector. And his best friend. If either of us truly has their ears, it will be you.”

Phoenix’s gut roiled. “Can I just—I would like to point out that they’re kids. Kids with insane powers, sure, but kids.”

Odalia sighed. “Oh, please, I already told you, I know how to handle children. I’ll walk you through it, I just need your position. Here.”

She drew a circle in the air, and a purple gem thudded against Phoenix’s collarbone, secured by a black string.

This way, I can talk to you and hear what you’re hearing, Odalia’s voice said in his mind, I can tell you what to say, you simply need say it.

Phoenix halted in his tracks, yanking the necklace off. “No. Absolutely not. I don’t need your voice in my head, and I definitely don’t want you spying on me.”

I’ve dealt with enough omnipresent watchers for one lifetime.

“At least think about it.”

Phoenix opened another window, holding the necklace out. “No.”

“Drop it and I go straight to the Collector,” Odalia snapped.

Phoenix’s jaw clenched, and he slowly dragged the gem back in.

“Put it on. You don’t have to say what I tell you just yet, I’ll give you time to decide.”

“Do I really get a choice?”

“Of course you do. Here, let me show you the other choice.”

Odalia touched the pendant at her throat, and purple light beamed out, forming a picture of the isles, overwhelmed with strange blue plants and sparkles. The view roamed over Bonesborough, empty and silent, and then finally into the Archive House, stopping at a door. Phoenix slowly turned, spotting the same door to his right. Phoenix reached for the handle, slowly pushing it open.

Lifeless, dull eyes stared back at him. People—or, at least, what used to be people—lay collapsed all over the floor, joints bent at awkward angles. Phoenix backed away.

Puppets

That’s what he meant.

“What happened to them?!”

“They didn’t want to play the Collector’s game. So he made them. Those are your options, Phoenix. You can play the Collector’s little game for the rest of your life. You can make a run for it and get stuck a mindless puppet, still playing his game. Or you can play my game, and stand to actually win something. I’m sure you’re a smart man—you haven’t been turned into a puppet yet—but handling children just isn’t your forte, darling.” She patted his shoulder. “Like I said, I’ll give you time. You don’t have to say yes right away. But the clock is ticking on how long you can keep the Collector happy without me. Now, how about that kitchen, hm? Don’t expect me to cook for you, though.”

She strode away, and Phoenix took a deep breath.

Haven’t had to deal with someone like her in a while.

But every coven head had just been another Odalia Blight. Maybe the setting had changed, but competing with a manipulative snake to get in the good graces of a volatile being that had the power to destroy you? He could handle that. Maybe he’d gotten a little rusty with Caleb and the other Grimwalkers, but this was the same game he’d been playing for half of his life.

And that meant there was a way to win.

Xxx

“Does he… even need to eat?” Phoenix whispered, handing King a dragonfruit.

The fruit spurted out a burst of flame, but King didn’t seem to be burned by it. “No idea.”

Collector paced back and forth, waving a squash around in the air like a bat. “Now! Since the real owl lady is… sick… we need a replacement. Phoenix, while you were finding snacks, King and I vetted some possible options, but I want your opinion, too. Did you know the Owl Lady?”

“Only from stories.”

“Hey, me too! Cool, cool, we should both have the same ideas. Candidate one!”

Collector clapped his hands, and a familiar (if older) woman appeared, her eyes darting around and taking in all of her surroundings.

“Terra?!” Phoenix yelped.

She looked him up and down for a moment, then marched over, squinting at the scar that went through his right eyebrow. She gasped. “Rosebud!” Terra reached for his face. “They told us you were dead! But it looks like you haven’t aged a single day.”

Phoenix knocked her hand away. “Don’t touch me.”

“Oh, looks like this rose grew a few thorns, hmmmm?”

Collector floated between them. “Phoenix? Do you know her?”

Phoenix crossed his arms, turning away from Terra. “Unfortunately. You don’t want her to be your Owl Lady, she’s not very nice.”

Terra gasped. “Rosebud. After everything I’ve done for you?!”

“After…!” Phoenix whirled around again. “You have been trying to poison me since I was thirteen!”

“Oh, please, I never gave you anything in deadly amounts. I was trying to build your poison tolerance, Rosebud! I did it because I cared!” She waved a hand. “I did it for your predecessor all the time. Now there was a man who did whatever it took to win.”

The Collector laughed. “Oh, I remember him! He was really good at statues! Although that miiiiiiight have been because Belos petrified him. Huh.”

Petro. He was the guard before me?

Collector tilted his head at Terra. “You wanna try and find out?”

Her face paled. “No, thank you.”

“You should give it a try,” Phoenix snapped, “See if that builds up your tolerance to petrification.”

“Oh, what is wrong with you? What happened to my sweet little rosebud?”

Phoenix waved a hand. “I don’t know! What did happen to him? Did you ever bother trying to find out?! So much for caring, huh?”

Collector floated between the two of them, holding his arms out. “Neither of you are being very nice,” he said firmly, “You are going into time out!”

The Collector snapped his fingers, and the world around Phoenix blurred into a haze of blue dotted with huge golden stars before settling into an empty void, back on the tiny planet. Phoenix jumped upwards, but the window of light vanished, and he fell back to the planet. He flopped onto the bed with a whump.

“Great.”

Well, that certainly was well-handled, Odalia’s voice said. Phoenix pulled the purple pendant out of his pocket, the gem glowing in the darkness. You need my help more than I thought. Maybe I should rescind my offer before you get us both in trouble.

“Oh, be quiet,” Phoenix grumbled, shoving the necklace under the bed, “You’re the last thing I need right now.”

The window of light opened again, just long enough for King to float down. The little demon clicked a lamp on and sat next to Phoenix, swinging his legs.

“So.”

“So.”

King looked up at the void. “Got kinda heated back there.”

“Even before Belos tried to kill me, I’d started trying to avoid her. Trust me, you and the Collector don’t want to be anywhere near her. Once I started mentoring Darius, I kept him far away from her.”

“Yeah, she seems like a real nice lady.

“She has been through three golden guards,” Phoenix burst out, “She was there when the guy before me was on a bloody conquest in the name of Belos, knew him personally apparently, she was there for half my life, and she was there to see Hunter replace me, and she didn’t once think that something might be wrong?!” Phoenix flopped backwards. “She did notice,” he grumbled, “She just didn’t care. I don’t know why I expected anything better from her, I know what she’s like. Sorry, I know you probably have no idea what I’m talking about.”

“Yeah, expecting good things from the person who routinely poisoned you as a kid is a little weird,” King agreed, “You doing okay?”

“Are you? I haven’t gotten to talk to you without… him… around.”

“Mm. Yeah. He’s… I’m still trying to figure him out. For now, I think if I go along with him, teach him new games, he’ll leave the people I love alone, and that’s… that’s what’s really important. I can figure out details later.”

“So… you don’t want to be here?”

“I’d rather be home. With Eda. And Luz.” King picked up a stuffed rabbit, squeezing it tightly. “But Luz is in another dimension. And Eda’s in her Owl Beast form until I can figure out a way to get an elixir to her. Lilith might have been able to help, but… she’s a puppet. And so’s Hooty. And…” King’s eyes welled up with tears. “And I don’t know when I’ll get to see them again, or if… if…”

Phoenix reached out, but didn’t touch the little demon. “Uh… permission to touch?”

King nodded, and Phoenix scooped him up, holding him in his lap. “I know we… kind of just only met properly now. But… look, I’ll help you figure out a way to turn your Eda and Hooty and Lilith back to normal. And… I don’t know your Luz, but she’s with my Jason, and I know he’s not going to stop looking for a way back to his family.”

King sniffed. “Luz won’t either.”

“Then between the two of them, I’m sure they’ll get back to us. And in the meantime, the best thing we can do is… try to stay alive. And try to get out of here. With our loved ones.”

“How are you planning to do that?”

“I don’t know yet. But I’m working on it. And when I do figure it out, I’ll take you with me. We’ll get our friends, and we’ll find somewhere to hide where the Collector can’t find us. Promise.”

“Thanks.”

“Thank me after we’re out of here.”

The window of light opened again, and Collector drifted down, tapping his index fingers together. “Phoenix? Are you… mad at me? I won’t make you play with Terra if you don’t want to. And I’m sorry I put you all alone in time out, it’s not nice to be alone.”

King patted Phoenix’s arm. “It’s all okay, Collector, Phoenix and I had a really long talk, and he feels a lot less mad now. He just doesn’t like Terra very much, and he’s still not feeling too good from Belos attacking him.”

“Okay, then maybe we wait until tomorrow to play? So Phoenix can feel better? And no Terra. Building up poison tolerance did sound fun, though…”

“It’s not,” Phoenix said flatly.

“Really? Man. Okay, we’ll stick to owl house. Do you know how to play, Phoenix?”

Phoenix shook his head. “You’re going to have to teach me.”

Collector’s eyes lit up, and he sat cross legged in the air. “Okay, okay, okay, so first of all…”

He started rattling off rules that sounded more like stories, and Phoenix nodded along, acutely aware of the glowing pendant tucked under his bed, and the fact that Terra was out in the archive house somewhere.

Just like the coven.

Figure out the rules of the game.

Play your cards right.

Win before they do.

[raelis1]

Lex Luthor 1, 2, 3, 8, 9, 12, 18, 20, 23, 25, 26, 29, 30 :)

My first impression of them: weird-looking guy in a show full of people looking like beautiful plastic dolls. What's he doing here and why are all of his plots involve some grown-up stuff about corporate espionage and whatever when it's clearly a show for teens? hmm, hmm, is he the rich friend of the protagonist? could there be some class difference dynamic at play here? maybe i should look for some fic (I had no idea this was a show about young Superman and thought it was just a supernatural teen drama like Sabrina the Teenage Witch or Kyle XY)

When I think I truly started to like them (or dislike them, if you've sent me a character I don't like): when I read the Identical series. I'd seen only a few episodes of SV before and decided to look for fic because I had a hankering for some class difference stories (one of my favorite tropes). I found someone's rec list and randomly clicked on a few titles. Identical swallowed me whole! I kept reading well into the night and had to skip class the next day 😂 After that I decided to take a pause and watch some canon. And then I realized I fell in love with Lex after watching Jitters.

A song that reminds me of them: Crashed by Daughtry is *the* Clex song from Lex's POV. But honestly? Every song is a Lex song if you try hard enough (and boy, do I try).

8. Your favorite outfit of them: jeans in Lexmas! He should have worn jeans more often! I am very fond of his purple shirts and grey pullovers too! They're so Lex.

9. Your least favorite outfit of them: the Zod coat was just silly.

12. Sexuality hc! this boy is bi. anyone who sees him as straight must have been watching some other show.

18. How do you think they were as a kid? (Like, were they shy, noisy, wild, etc): judging by the show canon, he was shy and bookish, very nerdy, curious, imaginative, sensitive and smart. Also loyal and empathetic. I reject most of the backstory from Reunion because it doesn't fit with the information of Lex's teenage years the show provided earlier. By 16, Lex was already confident enough that 10yo Lana met him when he was skinny-dipping with a girl and teaching her the "breaststroke". I can't see Reunion!Lex ever doing that.

20. A weird headcanon: hmmm, nothing comes to mind. all my headcanons are pretty basic.

23. Future headcanon: I think Lex is an explorer by nature, fascinated by the mysteries of the universe. He's also a sci-fi geek. I think he'd be interested in space exploration and use his wealth and intelligence to move humanity forward.

25. When do you think they acted the most ooc: the Thanksgiving scene (went on about this at length already), the fake-baby plot (so stupid! I can live with Lex being evil, but I can't accept him being stupid! why tf did he think this would keep Lana with him?), the entirety of Phantom, most of season 6 actually.

26. When do you think they were being "themselves" the most? So many episodes come to mind. Jitters, Asylum, Ryan, Prodigal, Memoria, Zero, Scare. If we're talking negative qualities, then Insurgence, Nicodemus, X-Ray. But if I have to choose one scene? I think he was his most authentic self when he was mucking the stalls at the Kents and grinning at Clark.

29. How do you think they would be as a parent? (and if they are a parent, how do you think they would be if they weren't?) We've seen how he relishes being a parent in Lexmas, but it's an idealized vision, a dream. In reality, I think he would be terrified of being a parent. He admits something to this extent in the show. I think it would take some time for him to accept that he can be a good father, but I doubt he'd actually consider having children on purpose. The only scenario that makes sense to me is Lionel creates Kon without Lex's knowledge, and Lex is as shocked and resistant to accept it as Clark is. In my headcanon, Clark is first to come around to the idea of having a child, and Lex takes far longer to adjust, but when he does, he's the most ferociously devoted (and over-protective) parent you could imagine.

30. The funniest scene they had? the one where he runs past Clark in Heat and the Godfather one in Drone.

[avegool]

Music to listen to while reading Celestial Complex

+ Little scenes to each song

Beach House - Space Song

It was dark in the apartment. The only light was the moon streaming through the open window. The winter breeze swished your hair around your face, but you dared not get up from the edge of the bed. You were stuck thinking about Lolly. About Marcy. About every one you lost. You were trapped in your own mind.

You stared at the curtains blowing back and forth. You shivered at the cold breeze and gripped the sleeves of your sweater.

You didn't hear Moon come into the bedroom. He had been out in the living room feeding Star and putting her to sleep out there. You hadn't slept in days and he figured it would be best if she slept out there tonight.

He watched you from afar. Your hair whipped around your face, but you didn't move. Your lips were purple. Fat, warm, tears fell down your cheeks.

Your whole world was falling apart around you all over again.

Moon approached quietly and gently dried the tears away with his sleeve. You finally moved and looked toward him.

Then you fell apart in his arms.

----

I Monster - Who is She?

The Eclipse stared at you. Only one eye was bright enough to illuminate the darkness of the aisle the two of you stood in. They held a dripping arm in one hand and an equally wet head in the other. But their gaze focused on you, and only you.

An amalgam of your two friends. Both of them at once, yet also neither of them. They stare with unknowing eyes. All they knew was that they wanted to protect you at all costs. But at the same time, your face was foggy. Misty. Who were you? Why were they here?

"Sun..." you whispered, "Moon...please, you're scaring me."

Your tiny voice. Your terrified face. The blood on your throat, head, and legs. Eclipse looked down at the head of the man they held and felt a surge of anger and relief in the same breath. One of them dropped the head. Sun, probably.

They call your name. A weird staticky voice at first that clarifies when they repeat your name again. Gentle. Calm. Endearing.

You sob out in relief at their response.

----

Disturbed - The Sound of Silence

The dreams were the worst part of the end of the world. Some were bittersweet. You would be walking up the pathway to your house to see Lolly. You would be sharing a snack with your brother. Just little, mundane things you normally wouldn't think about in daily life. But when everyone is dead, you supposed the mundane was abnormal.

Most of your dreams were nightmares. You would wake in the middle of the night, and Moon would hold you as you sobbed about whatever it was you saw. That silence was peaceful. He pushed his warmth onto you and whispered in your ear sweet nothings and reassurances.

But he never spoke above a whisper. Neither of you dared break the silence. If you broke the silence, the outside world would come creeping back in. In this apartment, in this bed, in Moon's arms, you were safe in the silence.

----

Teen Suicide - Haunt Me, Haunt Me, Haunt Me

Sun sat on the rooftop, knees against his chest as he watched the little creatures below meander around the streets. Moon was whispering in their head space about something Star did, but Sun was content to just watch the creatures mosey around. Sometimes, he needed a break.

Sometimes he needed air.

He didn't need air in the Daycare. He didn't need a break in the Daycare.

The real world was more terrifying than he always dreamt it to be. But at the same time, it was beautiful. Though he wasn't alive, the thought of being free made him feel so. It was easy to breathe on the rooftop.

Especially when you were leaning against him, kicking your feet off the edge of the roof. He could sit in this peace for the rest of his non-life. He wondered if you felt the same. He wondered if you were going as crazy as he was about this newfound freedom.

But maybe, he would keep his thoughts to himself a little longer.

----

Mother Mother - Problems

Sun watched you dance and twirl around the living room as you cleaned up Star's toys strewn around. The radio he stole from January was a godsend. You had been so happy just listening to music and dancing around.

He wanted to dance alongside you. But something irked inside his head. Sun was on that special edge where he might just snap. Moon had nearly lost control the night previous just looming over you as you slept. He had been so close to just wrapping his fingers around your neck...

And Sun still felt the remnants of that impulse.

He was scared if he got too close, he might just snap.

But you were having so much fun. He had never seen you smile so much. He had never seen you so lively.

Sun didn't know the song, but it was catchy and lively. The message was a little...strange, but not something he didn't agree with. In fact. He agreed with a lot of it.

Then, you offered him a hand.

He hesitated, but the smile on your face was enough to persuade him.

He accepted your hand and let you pull him to his feet. He robotically danced back and forth with you until all the anxiety dripped off.

Then, he was spinning you. And singing along with you. And smiling. Fans whirling. Rays spinning.

----

Youtube Playlist

Spotify Playlist

(When I find new music that relates, I usually add it! So these update frequently!)

[songoftrillium]

Goudy Booktype regular and Bible Script subtitles as of late. As silly as it sounds it helps get me in the WoD mindset.

I could not. I have something that makes grasping objects for extended periods quite painful.

If I am going for a particular mood, I'll think about things that evoke such things in me. If I must be angry, I make myself angry. If I must feel sorrow, my words bring tears to my eyes.

Pointless suffering.

I don't like to write about real life places. The idea of having a fanbase kind of freaks me out, and if I become known for my writing, I don't want people to desecrate the places important to me and my loved ones.

That people will use my writing as justification to do terrible things.

My biggest joy is discovering things about my characters or the world I wasn't expecting, but made too much sense to leave out. But also there's characters that I have to sometimes catch myself and go "You know what, they got so much going on I just don't think that's something they've had the space to think about."

I'd pick dialogue. I think action is something visceral and gutteral, and is often over as quickly as it starts. It's the reflection or the build-up that to me makes those interactions so impactful. While it happens, it's all a blur. It's not seeing the meat puppet, but smelling the fingers it's trying to shove into your mouth.

There is an old belief that the human soul is outside of the body. Sort of the pilot behind the eyes that makes decisions, good and bad. And that when something particularly awful happens to a person, their soul can run away from them. To heal is to do the things that let this spirit of the self know that it's safe to return home. I can believe in that. I believe a person can be haunted by these lost motes of intent, taking up residence in one's own consciousness.

Ray Bradbury's short stories I've read have been provocative, clever, and terrifying in unexpected ways. "There Will Come Soft Rains" has been on my mind, lately.

I take dark delight in torturing characters. Life would be but a fevered dream if not for the adventures that turn it upside down. It is through tragedy that one confronts their own uncomfortable truths and have to reconcile the things that truly make them uncomfortable about the self. In short, the realm where true strength is forged.

To have my hunger satiated by wordcount, for every writing session to last as long as intended, and to be able to sleep whenever I set out to do so.

It's hard to write about.

I have books I lend and books I keep now. I no longer lend books I'm not prepared to lose eventually.

I keep a book in bed I intend to read but will instead cuddle to sleep. That book I'll usually have nap dates with a few months until it's read. I also keep a book handy for travel naps as a just-in-case.

A mummified frog I found behind a pallet at a warehouse I worked one summer as a teen. It was a spring pepper that was perfectly preserved as thin as a communion wafer. Was a perfect bookmark for a year until a theater kid stole it.

A 9-part epic set within my game setting, staged a few thousand years before the advent of agriculture. My setting has no real history precedent so I had to invent one, including inventing a (technically) functional werewolf language.

My epic is presented in the story of a greek play of a primordial pack of werewolves, and this is a passage from the introduction, spoken by the primordial spirit these werewolves worship herself:

“Nurtured and guided wolf pups, taught land's ways an wind's language. Played and hunted as family, paws on soft earth together, howls entwined in night's quiet.”

19. Reading Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark inspired me to want to be a storyteller as a child. 20. Oh, true love, in a heartbeat. No nobler cause. It's not like some magical thing, but it's something you build with someone over time. It's a vulnerability that takes time to evoke. 21. I tried to not write about werewolves, but that autism choochoo left the station years ago. I'm pretty screwed in that regard oops. Guess I better platform my loved ones. 22. I am a meandering, disorganized individual that tends to work at stuff in shotgun blasts of creativity over a long period, and will continually come back to something until I run out of ideas. 23. I do my writing in front of a big screen thats usually playing a movie, music, or anything that helps inspire whatever I'm writing for. 24. Tons. I try to do the work and the story justice, and I'll try to make myself an expert in whatever I'm writing if I can. 25. Without exception, all of my monsters and villains are inspired by people I've met in real life. 26. If it's someone the characters will regularly interact with, I give them the same kinda considerations my players give their own characters. I give them a purpose that motivates them, I give them goals, aspirations, et al. and getting in their head is easy. 27. I usually end my creative springs by letting my partner know I love her, and then letting her know I'm done for the night. 28. Oh, Mundus Duskreach. I wanted someone genuinely weak whom everyone thought was tough, and I think she's still my favorite. A half-goblin that grew up far from civilization and ran away from home to escape her murderous mother.

29. Usually I draw it from contemplating the things that frighten me or make me uncomfortable. And, well, I'm always frightened and uncomfortable, so I guess I have a lot to write about right now.

30. I actually am not too keen on sharing that. I try not to write about my dreams.

31. To my 3 regular readers, I'd like to let you know: "Hello."

32.

33. I studied audio and broadcast engineering in college. I also paint sometimes, and take photos. I occasionally make music. I did a lot of my watercolor painting while I recovered from neurosurgery in bed. I seldom have references, so I paint simple things from memory, like plants.

34. Thoughts on the Oxford comma, Go: its ok i guess

35. What’s your favorite writing rule to smash into smithereens? When I'm trying to be humorous over text, and want a person to know I'm trying to be funny, I'll abandon punctuation entirely, engendering english in a casual conveyance that is meant to be construed as unserious.

36. I know nature, some of the polish language, I know many unusual facts about soil science, like SO many facts.

37. I hope I'm understood better as a person. This society wasn't built for me, but maybe if something endures after I'm gone, whoever comes next will get it.

38. I repeat myself a lot. I'll also sometimes find myself typing just one key ogg smf duffeb;u i sound like I had a stoke.

39. I was bullied pretty relentlessly in the World of Darkness gaming community near my hometown in the 90s. Most of the players were younger than me, and I was a teenager. Rather than simply telling me to leave, they tried to make the gaming experience as hostile as possible. They inspired me to make them as mad at me as humanly possible.

40. Please share a poem with me, I need it.

I look in their eyes I say "Please," "don't fucking kill me." "Watch your mouth."

Weird Questions for Writers (because writers are weird)

1. What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting?

2. If you had to give up your keyboard and write your stories exclusively by hand, could you do it? If you already write everything by hand, a) are you a wizard and b) pen or pencil?

3. What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed?

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

5. Do you have any writing superstitions? What are they and why are they 100% true?

6. What is your darkest fear about writing?

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

8. If you had to write an entire story without either action or dialogue, which would you choose and how would it go?

9. Do you believe in ghosts? This isn’t about writing I just wanna know

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

11. Do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings?” Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve?

12. If a genie offered you three writing wishes, what would they be? Btw if you wish for more wishes the genie turns all your current WIPs into Lorem Ipsum, I don’t make the rules

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

14. Do you lend your books to people? Are people scared to borrow books from you? Do you know exactly where all your “lost” books are and which specific friend from school you haven’t seen in twelve years still possesses them? Will you ever get them back?

15. Do you write in the margins of your books? Dog-ear your pages? Read in the bath? Why or why not? Do you judge people who do these things? Can we still be friends?

16. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever used as a bookmark?

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage.

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

20. If a witch offered you the choice between eternal happiness with your one true love and the ability to finally finish, perfect, and publish your dearest, darlingest, most precious WIP in exactly the way you've always imagined it — which would you choose? You can’t have both sorry, life’s a bitch

21. Could you ever quit writing? Do you ever wish you could? Why or why not?

22. How organized are you with your writing? Describe to me your organization method, if it exists. What tools do you use? Notebooks? Binders? Apps? The Cloud?

23. Describe the physical environment in which you write. Be as detailed as possible. Tell me what’s around you as you work. Paint me a picture.

24. How much prep work do you put into your stories? What does that look like for you? Do you enjoy this part or do you just want to get on with it?

25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story?

26. How do you get into your character’s head? How do you get out? Do you ever regret going in there in the first place?

27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why?

28. Who is the most delightful character you’ve ever written? Why?

29. Where do you draw your inspiration? What do you do when the inspiration well runs dry?

30. Talk to me about the role dreams play in your writing life. Have you ever used material from your dreams in your writing? Have you ever written in a dream? Did you remember it when you woke up?

31. Write a short love letter to your readers.

32. What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?

33. Do you practice any other art besides writing? Does that art ever tie into your writing, or is it entirely separate?

34. Thoughts on the Oxford comma, Go:

35. What’s your favorite writing rule to smash into smithereens?

36. They say to Write What You Know. Setting aside for a moment the fact that this is terrible advice...what do you Know?

37. If you were to be remembered only by the words you’ve put on the page, what would future historians think of you?

38. What is something about your writing process YOU think is Really Weird? If you are comfortable, please share. If you’re not comfortable, what do you think cats say about us?

39. What keeps you writing when you feel like giving up?

40. Please share a poem with me, I need it.

[fadedstarsfms]

Amelia Estrada Intro

★ IN CHARACTER ★

FULL NAME: Amelia Estrada SPECIES: Werewolf AGE: 35 DATE OF BIRTH: April 12, 1989 GENDER IDENTITY: Cis Woman NEIGHBORHOOD: Cherry Heights OCCUPATION: Family Lawyer POSITIVE TRAITS: Caring, Protective, Playful NEGATIVE TRAITS: Rebellious, Impatient, Insecure SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Bisexual LENGTH OF TIME IN RAVEN’S PEAK: 6 years TATTOOS: Her son's name, James, on her left inner bicep, a flower bouquet on her right forearm FACE CLAIM: Melissa Barrera

★ BIOGRAPHY ★

TRIGGER WARNING: foster care tw All Amelia knew growing up was the foster care system.  Her placements weren’t terrible, she just always felt like she never belonged.  Amelia always longed for the magical movie moment where she would be united with her perfect family, long ago giving up the dream that any bio family would ever come forward, but every house she was sent to never lasted long and she never felt like she was part of a family of her own. So at a young age she just accepted what her life was and kept her head down as much as possible. Amelia was always smart and hardworking and she got herself in college and made the most of it, even convincing her best friend Rio to apply too.  The two found themselves tangled in each other’s lives off and on when Amelia was placed around the area where he grew up.  She loved his spunk and sometimes found herself involved in his shenanigans, but she was best at talking them both out of trouble.  So when Amelia aged out of foster care she still wanted to keep in touch with Rio and she wanted to do this next part of her life right along side him.  During college she was attacked one night by a wolf when she took a shortcut through the woods to get back to her apartment.  She woke up with a bite on her arm in the middle of the woods with little more information than that.  In the aftermath of that night she started to become hostile and quick to snap at everyone around her, which was just not her.  It wasn’t until the next full moon that Amelia found herself back in the woods where the incident happened - this time transforming into something she couldn’t explain. Needless to say she was absolutely terrified and felt more alone than she had ever felt in her life.  She finished her schooling and also eventually got the help she needed as a werewolf from Rio himself, finding out that he may have been a bit more to blame then she originally thought but she didn’t care must as long as she was still by his side.  Amelia eventually decided she wanted to go to law school and shortly after that found herself pregnant with Rio’s baby. She had heard about Raven’s Peak and knew immediately she wanted to raise her baby there in a town that seemed like everything she wanted when she was a child.  Amelia didn’t want to assume that Rio wanted to be a father, and she wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t, but Rio decided he wanted to come with and they were going to coparent their child together.

★ WANTED CONNECTIONS ★

Friends - Maybe they met when they were teens, when Amelia was running away frequently. Maybe they met when she came to Raven's Peak. Let’s plot!

Parents - James is her 6 year old son and basically she needs other people that get what it's like having a rambunctious kid. She needs play dates for him and babysitters

Foster Care - Amelia grew up in many different foster homes. Need a foster sister who would look out for you and always be by your side even after she went to a different placement? Amelia's your girl!

Truly let's think of something she's a sweetheart and just wants love

★ PLAYLIST ★

May I Have This Dance by Francis and the Lights

You're On Your Own Kid by Taylor Swift

Nothing Arrived by Villagers

Falling by Florence + The Machine

Seventeen by Sharon Van Etten

Washing Machine Heart by Mitski

Strange Mercy by St. Vincent

Chop and Change by The Black Keys

I Have A Dream by ABBA

Everywhere I Go by Lissie