#things said out of context

[the-kettle-whistles]

(out of context) things my younger sister has said

y'all I have been compiling this since last year :")

“give me the crog"

“I never said an 8 ton baby could do my job”

“o̷̢̦͐̑͝ͅw̸̢̪̟̖̏a̷̲̩̮̒͋͆ ̷̼̐͝o̷̧͕̪̠͊́̚w̴̩̙͑̅̈́ḁ̷̢̾̽̋̔ͅ”

*panicking* “Why My Bed Crispy”

“She like that cheese stank”

"Why is everyone named ‘Guy’ ugly”

“I hope you explode. It infuriates me that there’s still air in your lungs”

“It’s holding on by the butt stick”

“I’m trying to reminisce on phone guy memories”

“My foot is baby sized compared to your giant man feet”

”imagine being named Mark. Like it’s so embarrassing you’re name is Markus”

“What Do You Mean I’m A Threat To Human Civilization”

“You have Walter White’s hairline”

“You just have me a glaucoma test with your mouth”

"i almost broke my toe. slay"

"i'm trying to enjoy the scenery but you just keep giving me free glaucoma tests"

"the dog is knocking. let them in"

*scooby doo voice* "come here"

“I just had a terrible vision of a ferret-rat-shark and it looked at me and smiled with human teeth”

*screams* *burps loudly*

"I want a frickin' boiga"

"You dummy, we all know it's swipe left for love!"

"my hands smell like a boiga"

"I've killed millions"

"I love it when machines do my dirty work"

"I'm stuck in a heck hole"

"It feels like I'm listening to smooth brain Christmas"

"Dude I ate like 9 enchiladas over the past 2 days"

"My spicy zinger for tonight is asbestos"

"Yo yo yo, chancy bust a move"

"This tastes like grass but with out the "g r""

"Men will be like "I'm such a gentleman" and then ruin abunch of people's lives"

"One of us is dumber and it's not me"

"You got a boy? How many you pullin'???"

"You look like baby Gabriel in those Jesus things"

"'Never have babies' that's what i always say"

"you can't have an overpopulation of 8 legged friends on your skin, you know that, right?"

"he did. he wanted me for real"

"men with beefy forearms. they're like crossfit gods"

"men are beautiful. and women, too. women are also fine" *a moment of silence* "sorry that sounded kind of sussy"

"You can find gay people in the wildest places. Just like pokemon"

"You look like a drown teddy bear"

"Thanks. I feel less evil"

"That's really ugly but there's such a beauty in things that are hideous"

"Urine throne of mass destruction and sewage carnage"

"I want the tickle me elmo so bad it makes me sick"

"This is all hypothetical. You guys are insane"

"Sometimes the world doesn't give you what you want and you have to cope with it by smelling my cheesey breath"

haha decided to post this at 11 at night and kind of sick on a whim

[notbrucewayne48]

"aphobia doesn't exist"

bitch literally not that long ago an aroace youtuber animator was insulted by almost half of its community for being it

[gingerswagfreckles]

Btw if you blatantly lie about Israel or the war in Gaza and someone calls you out for lying they are not in fact "defending Israel" they are calling you out for spreading mis or disinformation. In case that wasn't clear.

[geekylled]

Ken Sato, outfielder for the Yomiuri Giants, comes clean about giant spending habits!

In a recent interview, All-Star player Kenji Sato confessed to spending absurd amounts of money on grossly large sports memorabilia— mostly his own.

“I have a good, totally plausible reason for it,” Sato had plead, unconvincingly.

Sato bat an average of .420 last season, which puts him among the best. “It’s— ugh. Hm. Erm. It’s.” Unfortunately, he struck out severely in attempting to explain his spending habits.

“Don’t knock it ‘til you try it!” Sato swore, but then refused to give exact numbers in terms of pricing for those who may want to “try it”.

For the readers not in the know, a 15-foot recreation of Sato’s jersey recently went viral when commission details were leaked to the public. Our interviewer asked for a comment concerning the jersey, to which Sato is quoted to have said: “Well. I guess you can say I have a pretty big fan.”

[vintagerobin]

Does anybody remember when everybody was losing their minds over Brucewing and being all like omg how DARE Bruce do this AWFUL TERRIBLE THING to Dick!!!! Meanwhile if you actually read the comics Bruce was doing it because he was being genuinely thoughtful and caring and afterwards Dick just thought it was sweet and a little funny. Cuz I feel like that really says a lot about the way sections of the fandom approach comics especially wrt Bruce.

[superbellsubways]

🍂

[leal-hound]

spoilers for my fanfic but i dont know if ill have the energy to finish it, so here's some uh oh doodles

[homielander]

shiv's motivations for voting to pass the gojo deal are so layered and i don't think they should be dismissed in favour of any one interpretation. shiv desperately grabbed on to a lifeline for her relationship with tom. shiv was the deciding vote and she couldn't bear to hold the crown only for a moment just to place it atop her brother's head. shiv knew she would have more influence as wife of CEO rather than sister of CEO. shiv absolutely hated seeing kendall crystallize into logan before her eyes, especially when he made roman bleed ("and if we did kill him we get to go to bed") -- succession has always been about siblings so of course she tried to free her brothers before her child. shiv still thinks she can raise her child with all the material benefits of being the daughter of waystar CEO while doing better by her, whatever that means. and all of those things are true

[fluentisonus]

[royalarchivist]

Cellbit: Yeah, [Bobby is] our son.

Roier: What?

Cellbit: He's our son, no? Or not? Am I not?

Roier: I mean… he's already dead. [...] By the time we got married, he was no longer around. So in theory, in theory-

Cellbit: But in my heart, he is my son.

Roier: Oh, that's fine, in your heart, yes. In your heart, yes. But actually-

Cellbit: He could have been my son, he could have been.

Roier: But actually, he is my son and Jaiden’s.

Cellbit: Yes yes, definitely, of course.

Roier: [Smacks him] Exactly. Well, you're the step-father, you know?

[ Full Transcript ↓ ]

Cellbit: Hey Tina, have you met Bobby? I don't think you did, right?

Tina: I met him a little bit earlier, he's so cute!

Roier: Aww

Tina: I told him I like StarBobby.

Cellbit: Yeah, it's our son.

Roier: What? But-

Cellbit: He's our son, no? Or not? Am I not?

Roier: I mean... he's already dead.

Cellbit: That's true, that's true.

Roier: By the time we got married, he was no longer around.

Cellbit: That's true, true.

Roier: So in theory, in theory-

Cellbit: But in my heart, he is my son.

Roier: Oh, that's fine, in your heart, yes. In your heart, yes. But actually-

Bagi: Am I the auntie?

Cellbit: He could have been my son, he could have been.

Roier: But actually, he is my son and Jaiden’s.

Cellbit: Yes yes, definitely, of course.

Roier: [Smacks him] Exactly. Well, you're the step-father, you know?

Bagi: So I don't think I'm your auntie, sorry. Unless you want to!

Cellbit: Yes, fake dad, fake dad. Fake father.

Roier: But it's ok. It's ok.

Cellbit: It's ok, it's ok.

Roier: It's this dumbass' fault he died anyways.

[outofcontextdiscord]

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

anyone else obsessed with the recurring theme in TTPD about how in each instance with the three notable muses referenced, they each made a show in their own way of stepping up to Be Someone for her, only to completely cut and run (whether physically or emotionally or both).

The first love who laid on the charm offensive, "I'm not an organ donor but I'd give you my heart if you needed it," sweeping her up in this great big first serious adult love, inspiring all of the dreams that go with it, making her feel like This Is It and the actions undertaken as a result. But then bailing at the first sign of inconvenience, leaving her distrusting of her own feelings and instincts.

The longtime partner with whom she built a foundation against all odds, the one with whom (or perhaps rather for whom) she meticulously placed those stars on the ceiling. The one who at one point painted dreamscapes on the wall and sparked her darkest nights, the one who chose her mess and said there was nothing that could stop them, the one she believed in so completely she crafted a whole life around, but then accused her of abandoning the ship when he had long since metaphorically and physically left the house on the Heath.

And then of course the final boss level, the infatuation from hell who saw all this and said "I can be the one that none of the others were" and insinuated himself into her life and her consciousness until it felt real, only to vanish after the ploy did its damage.

(Of course, it's all contrasted by a fourth party with whom the trust and dreams come freely and solidly.)

It's just a fascinating study in how patterns keep repeating themselves, not only in a person's choice of partners but in people's behaviours in general. And how so much of the album is not just about specific situations but also globally about the pitfalls of relationships and dynamics and how we choose to believe. TTPD album that you are.

[starry-bi-sky]

mmmm musical cultivator shen yuan again. Feng Xuanlu, the Wind Song. He has this well-loved wooden pipe he inherited from is adoptive father that he uses on occasion. When the traveling day gets slow and he doesn't feel like singing, when he's stressed, when night falls and he's sitting around a fire with his troupe and they've all had a little bit to drink.

His hair is long and black, always tied up into a ponytail or a braid of some sort. When he's in camp he loosens it up until its splayed messily over his shoulder. He has crows feet around his eyes that scrunch up when he smiles. His eyes are bamboo green and his hands are rough and callused from years of plucking strings and work. He has scars on his back that he won't explain the origins of.

His voice is low and warm like a fire, it gets raspy in the mornings or when he's been humming or singing for too long. He speaks like there's sunshine dripping off his tongue. He speaks soft, he speaks and his voice takes up the entire room. He's spent over a decade hearing his praises getting sung and he still gets shy over it sometimes.

Whenever he goes into town he has to have at least three other musicians with him at all times -- not his decision of course, but the unanimous choice of his companions. Shen Yuan gathers admirers everywhere he goes, and his companions have long since learned that their dear friend and leader is completely unaware of it. So they have to beat off these suitors with sticks.

[essektheylyss]

while we're airing grievances for fun and profit, it remains fucking wild to me that "read theory challenge" was used as a bizarre gotcha for so much of the campaign by people who almost certainly could not have won that challenge if they'd been called on it.

like yeah, you're suuuuch a superior intellectual decolonialist scholar. tell me more about how your only reading suggestions are a vague "foucault", the communist manifesto, and ursula le guin's wikiquote page.

[premamelody]

how did we get here

[i-reblog-everything44]

The fandom when Anya is nice to jimmy and compliments/butters him up after the crash: obviously this is a fawn response. She doesn’t actually think these things about jimmy, she is simply trying to protect herself against a volatile, unstable person by placating him

The fandom when curly tries to placate jimmy by telling Jimmy he’d fix things, after being very nervous about jimmy’s anger and reaction when talking to Anya right beforehand and his heart racing so hard on the way to confront jimmy that he’s likely on the verge of a panic or anxiety attack: hmm. Obviously everything curly is saying to jimmy here is completely genuine and not motivated by anything. He obviously doesn’t care about the fact jimmy raped Anya and only cares about helping jimmy at the detriment to Anya. He’s a rape apologist. There could literally be no other potential explanation for why curly is saying the things he is saying right now. Let’s take everything curly is saying here completely at face value and not analyze anything else about Curly’s behavior or the rest of the scene.

[seriously why are people only capable of recognizing the fawn response in Anya and not Curly]