#things on the internet do not bother me
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#through gritted teeth:#i am a calm and patient person#things on the internet do not bother me#presume good intentions. benefit of the doubt. presume good intentions. benefit of the doubt. presume good intentions. benef
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ok this is a controversial opinion but likeâŚ.. to me, henry spencer was actually not a shit fatherâŚ.. hear me out.
i understand that thereâs a lot of subtleties that go into emotionally abusive parents, and iâm not trying to dismiss that, but honestly i just donât see all the negativity that gets associated with him so often. also, between henry and madeleine, one parent actually seemed to be there when shawn was growing up, and it wasnât his mother.
letâs look at shawnâs childhood. in all the flashbacks, henry was the one who volunteered at shawnâs school, who took him to movies and was around for all of his new hobbies and interests. he was the one making sure shawn did his homework and hung out with his friends and learned life lessons. granted, some of his teaching methods were not appropriate for a kid shawnâs age, so yes i can see where the criticisms come in and i agree with them. but he was so much more than his mistakes, he was the parent who cared.
when shawn grows up, yes thereâs animosity between him and his father but to be quite honest, iâve never met one person who doesnât have unresolved daddy issues so that in itself doesnât condemn henry in my mind. we see how much henry saved from shawnâs childhood and how much he remembers, and to me he actually does quite a bit to help shawn when he needs it. this is particularly telling in comparison to madeleine, who isnât there to begin with and eventually we find out she really did leave her kid behind, and to me that does a lot more damage than any one thing henry did.
shawn and henry have issues, i wonât argue with that. but i really donât think henry gets enough credit for the good he did and the way he tried when shawn got older. above all else, he was there and he was there for shawn, and thatâs important. god knows itâs not everything, but itâs something.
#pls donât send me hate#this is coming from someone whoâs mother also isnât there LMAO#like idk man henry gets so much hate but is it really deserved?#iâm not trying to dismiss shawnâs trauma with his dad i promise#itâs just everything i see online that makes it seem like more happened than it actually did#do you get what iâm saying#maybe iâm watching through the wrong lens idk#iâm talking about based on what we see in childhood flashbacks btw#there could easily be more to it we donât know about#and it is within shawnâs right not to forgive his father#but itâs not his attitude that bothers me (at all) itâs the internet#psych#henry spencer#shawn spencer#madeleine spencer#just realized i wrote this on fatherâs day#happy fatherâs day i guess lmao#em saying things
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do you ever think about how all you used to draw when you were 10 was ponies and that you should still know how to do that, then get an idea and proceed to draw something like these in nearly one sitting and it turns out better than any drawing you've done in the entire past month
sooo anyway does anyone have cutie mark or pony name ideas for them?? lol
#(the b girl lineups are older than a month because i procrastinated a lot on doing minor fixes. nothing i drew in the month of june 2024#is really worth showing it's all shitty doodles lmao)#bnha#class 1b#mlp#?#yui kodai#setsuna tokage#itsuka kendo#ibara shiozaki#(i love how she came out in particular! creature :3)#reiko yanagi#tikto's art#you may be wondering why pony of all people isn't here.#i did draw her! but i kind of ran out of steam so i ended up not really liking the result lol same for kinoko#anyway shoutout to elementary school me i was SO obsessed with mlp. brony stuff was one of the first things i used the internet for#and you know what. i wouldn't say it ruined me it was a pleasant experience#i just read what was basically a polish version of equestria daily and constantly checked the deviantart profile of one (1) specific artist#that i liked a lot#i did watch some weird speedpaints (yknow the horror ones) but i honestly dont remember being very bothered by them i just liked the art#i was just chilling there lurking and never actively participating due to being 10 and afraid of online strangers (good for me tbh)#i remember having an identity crisis though because can i really call myself a brony if i'm a little girl? the target audience of the show?#lmao anyway i would also draw ponies constantly and write oc fanfics (and the ocs were actually my irl friends ponified)#and i even had my own little g5 concept. good times good times#tag story time over god bless enjoy your day
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random note about king on that animation, i got really lucky with how simple his animation was and how clean my sketches were to begin with that i was able to do very minimal cleanup on what i had sketched (and add back. his horn. it's supposed to take place just after echoes of the past, Oops) and call it done that way instead of having to redraw the entire thing like i had to on his dad
first sketch > line cleanup > nearly final animation (i'd added slight eye movements last-second but otherwise that's the final)
#toh#the owl house#animation#gif#king clawthorne#the lineart slightly flickers on his one paw where i had to erase the tag and i thought it would bother me a lot more#but most people seem to use the internet on their phones - coupled with the darker palette and color of his fur#it basically completely hides it#based on feedback i don't think a lot of people realize i made that and it's not a gif from the show lmfao#BUT ITS STILL REALLY NICE THAT PEOPLE THINK IT IS!!!! I AM NOT AN ANIMATOR I AM JUST A HOBBYIST...#i animate like once a year... shits hard man.... but apparently when i do animate. its extremely good :) proud of that#even if i have an extremely unhinged way of animating#i don't have an animation program i draw everything individually frame by frame in photoshop#each character had their own psd file with the same background and every frame was its own group. twice. one for sketch one for colors#i do test takes with gifcam (there are literally 55 WIP gifs in my documents folder rn) by switching between layers and taking a 'frame'#and i compile in blender's video editor and to move things separately i save each character's frame in its own .png 'cel'#so luz was her own 'cel'. king was his own 'cel.' etc. and then i have to manually slide the lengths of the frames around#to match the right framerate. traditionally animation is animated at 24 FPS on 2's - so 12 frames a second. i go on 3s. 4 to slow down#anime-ass framerate. i'm insane apparently but its what i like to do#i dont understand real animation programs they have too many pieces but i DO understand photoshop and my funny brushes#imagine having Digital Programs and Still basically doing ye olde traditional animation method just in the computer#if im Just making a gif then i only use gifcam and switch between layers. like digital stop motion. somethings wrong with me
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so has anyone figured out WHY there is the Need To Share our Artworks⢠or is it just the vibes and our Soul apparently
#ive been running on âtwo cakes. u aren't BOTHERING people by putting art on their feed they can scroll past it/if they dont they get âcakeââ#and we love âcakeâ#âcakeâ is picture on the internet in this case#like okay the contracts and transaction format is a me problem!! i need to get rid of the âutilitarian brain wormsâ bc they're boring#this is supposed to be a hobby and the âget a good grade in hobbyâ wolf in the brain is just crying bc that's how they understand the world#the âget a good grade in xâ wolf has valid pain but needs to stop controlling my life because they don't need to earn âenough value to liveâ#ect ect ect#and the life of minmaxxed utility is a life of trying to appeal to a âcorrectâ that doesn't exist yaddi yadda = boring#i love you wolf. also shut up. affectionate. concerned. you get it#ok so we remove tangible purpose from act of experience art because THAT'S not âthe pointâ#because âthe pointâ is the joy killer eccetera ecc#but then what? âhere check out this labor of love. i drew this fucker 15 times. no there's no story* there it's just a guyâ#*story in this case being an emotional engagement/a situation/a context in which to ponder/other#so it's just a Draw. no further analysis. what do others Get from that?#i know i deeply enjoy art because im a fan of the process of People Making Stuff. i love when there was nothing but now there's something!!!#THAT'S what's it all about!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to me!!!! right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#so it stands to reason that creation is purpose enough?? to be experienced???? to be known????????#idk!!#this is a nothing burger of a thought people have always liked picture on the internet stfu maiora there doesn't need to be a reason#this is just the brainworms talking!!! because god forbid âsomething not have a purposeâ??? blegh!!!!!!!!#sounds like unhealthy rationalizing instead of letting things be out of The Fearâ˘!!sounds like depraving urself from joy bc of BRAINWORMS!!!#so like!!!!! picture on the internet doesn't NEED inherent value. creation is enough!! (plus there's the Attachment to Character. also.)#but then why are YOU *points at you* here? gen q!!#i made an image you like and now you are reading my word babble in some tags!!! what's THAT all about???????????#it's INTERESTING!! do you see what im trying to get at??#is it empathy??? person made something other saw something other made- other2other connection???? intrigue????????#.......all this is probably explained in some book or yt essay somewhere. oh well.#in the meantime thank you for your time! we can pretend we were stuck in an elevator together and then i started rambling#i hope you have a great rest of your day thanks for stopping by!! <3#maiora garrulates
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New OCs
(briefly, humans and supernatural beings have to team up for building better relations with each other and all the supernaturals can shapeshift and take on human appearances but also have their 'original form'.)
OK so I was GOING to draw fanart today - I had a fun idea and everything! But health anxiety (and anti-anxiety meds) wore me out so I kinda .... slogged through OCs as a treat to me. I am going to go to the doctor tomorrow so HOPEFULLY it's all okay.
#my characters#also kite is the worst socially and says things he thinks are surely fitting for a human conversation#but ends up insulting grady with 99% of the comments and that makes grady not fond of him#but then grady is like super pleasant to others and doesnt know how to act around kite and flubs a lot too#its a disaster and the twins are like oh no this is painful#mr tengu that was so tacky you cant say that to a human#mr tengu you cant DO that to a human STOP BEING LIKE THIS#while callum is just like wow this is hilarious thanks for bothering my younger brother its adding character to his life#and kite is stressed because thats the least encouraging thing to hear ever thank you v much hes TRYING to adapt#but also kite isnt his real name and he doesnt know squat about humans BUT he knows they have the internet#and so hes like well the problem is i dont want to actually say my name to you all because what if i am Online (TM)#and so he asks for a new name and then is like he should name me - the tiny one who wants to kick my ass should name me#so grady is like ....... nooooo...... dont............ and then suggests kite bc he's done google research#and kite is a type of bird and according to wikipedia has some familiarity to tengu so therefore yeah#and kite is like !!!!!! DOES HE ! KNOW THINGS ! and happily accepts the slightly researched name while the other humans#are like grady stop that is bullying the poor guy leave him alone pick a normal name!#anyway not drawn yet but there is a human guy partner for the twins and he immediately is like perfect#i know which is which lets go out and explore the human world for your research#and they dont understand how he knows them apart so fast and none of the other humans seem to tell em apart#but then none of the humans are shocked at the guy who knows so the girls are like sir howst do you know#and hes just v casual oh right yeah younger identical twin sisters - i have Practice ! and they are endeared to him haha#anyway if you read all those tags ty#and yes in his tengu form he does actually have the long nose please do not be mad#i just dont draw noses normally and im too tired to practice rn so#i only drew the second one today anyway - the first pic was done a couple days ago but i didnt wanna post on main#but then here i am posting on main#im sorry
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Really awful that this even needs to be a thought in my head at all but Iâm dreading that if Liam Payneâs death is indeed a suicide, people will make it about âcancel cultureâ and âmob mentalityâ and whatever the fuck and dismiss and harass his ex and the women whoâve spoken out about his behaviour recently. Make no mistake regardless this death is shocking and tragic, but the internet is allergic to nuance, feel like its gonna get pissed away, all the allegations made ânoughtâ or excessive or all equates to harassment and bullying. Itâs gonna become a talking point about fucking âwokenessâ. Any victims whoâve stepped forward, theyâre gonna hear âDidnât you get your wish? You killed a manâ. Jesus Christ.
#dreading it dreading it dreading it#liam payne#// death mention#// death#// suicide mention#// suicide#// victim blaming#catastrophising#I do worry this sounds unsympathetic#and having this be the main thing that comes to mind to me feels pretty wretched#but man itâs like Alec Holowka all over again I do not trust what the internet landscape is gonna be in the coming days#on a personal note#thinking of my friends from year 5#my whole class went to a music studio for a friends 9th or 10th birthday party and she was a directioner so we took it in turns in groups#singing what makes you beautiful into the mic of a recording booth#and a few weeks later I had a science homework about what the airs made out of and did an extension#where I wrote a parody song âyou donât know what youâre breathingâ and it was peak and I still remember some of the lyrics#I think a good couple of the girls liked liam the most iirc#idk if this bothers them much since this was a younger group of fans so different experience#but I hope theyâre not too shaken#fuck.#anecdote#ty if you read these tags#vent post#// real person death
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my honest genuine #real opinion is that anyone who's ever had a serious problem with trans men saying tranny is an ignorant asshole. There's no good reason. Any variation of "it's not about you" is just genuinely wrong. Not only is there tons of historical precedent, there's also violent modern precedent if you paid any attention to trans men at all. Arguments like "look it up on Google images!" are so stupid because using Google images as to who is affected by a transphobic slur is a very, very dumb strategy to live by. Picking out trans men as the people who's language about transphobia you want to police is a bad joke.
#actual blogging#putting this in the tags because it's vaguely related#irl no one at all polices or cares about slur politics for queer people in allied or queer contexts#at least in my limited anecdotal experience#like a gay guy was telling me about the dykes on bikes event recently and I was just thinking about how people would actually get mad at hi#for just promoting this butch biker show#I just hate the internet so much it's like people have these insane unrealistic standards of how gay people are supposed to 'behave' that#just do not reflect reality at all#I'm obviously participating in that by posting at all but it's really hard for me not to speak on this when#it bothers me so much on the site lol#and I just use it to distract myself between more important things#transandrophobia
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I am reasonably certain I know exactly what post you are referring to. The moment I saw it in the Gaster tag I thought, âhooooo boy I know someone with evidence to the contrary, I wonder if she will see this.â Your spite is understandable, frankly.
i was hesitant to be spiteful on the internet, but this comforts me immensily đ¤
im not even hoarding any evidence, it's just out there. you don't even have to squint. toby used him to roleplay on twitter.
#inbox#might delete later? to erase the evidence i was ever spiteful on the internet??#it hurts me a little that people who follow me and bother to praise my huge wrinkly brain have reblogged it as well but lmao#i prefer to just sit on my corner and do my thing rather than stir fandom discourse#but shit like that drives me insane istg#before the plural gaster theory biscia managed to instigate#this is a close competitor for the first place on my list of gaster pet peeves
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when i exchange a message whether i receive or send one i have to immediately shut off my device & walk some laps for a few minutes to shake off the adrenaline rush
#i try to forget that ever happened so i can relax because otherwise i get heart palpitations & headrush my uterus drops ETC#so i have to stay off of whatever site i just used for like an hour but now i have messages sent+received on every app#i can only escape to yourube & it sucks#also even anonymously i exit out of the thread/tab & ignore that tab for as long as it takes me to forget#& then i check back on the replies hours later or days even despite not ever posting bait i just get nervous#( but not always... ŘŽŮŮŮ ŘŁŮاŮ
Ů ŘŁŘŮŮ )#currently hamster walking everywhere in my house & it took me a day to reply back ( was too busy agonizing )#could have been a month like last time. or year like the other two times before. IDK why i even bothered#WHEW#that one screencap i already posted before with the courage the cowardly dog picrel Shockingly not posted by me#but i might as well have i do the exact same thing & when people are nice to me i ride that high for a week if not more#the high i got from crushing it at scribbl with randoms in 2020 i rode for like two years & then the *** livestream in 2022#i am still riding today & ALWAYS WILL best days of my internet life for Serious look forwards to it annually cured me completely#from suicidal ideation. THANK YOU WOMEN. ^_^
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hot take: Skibidi Toilet (as in the og series and not the stupid exploitative content farm shit) isn't even as bad as people say it is. like yeah it's definitely silly and nonsensical, and maybe super young kids shouldn't exactly be watching it, but can you really say that the insanity of Skibidi Toilet isn't at all similar to the types of Gmod videos we used to watch when we were kids and teenagers? are we seriously trying to act like our own nonsensical Source Engine shitposting from way back in 2007 is somehow better than the more modern shitposting of Skibidi Toilet? or are we just deeming anything liked by kids as "cringe" now. cause that's what it seems like.
also the whole "Skibidi Toilet Syndrome" thing is really stupid and is literally just describing kids reenacting stuff they like on the internet which is a completely normal thing for kids to do. i used to reenact Viva Reverie's old MLP toy horse nonsense videos back when their channel was still called "IMATOONLINK" because they were funny as hell. kids acting out their favourite medias isn't new and it isn't suddenly a bad thing or a "syndrome" when it's something that's generally considered to be "cringe" on the internet. you guys are just mean.
#skibidi toilet#cringe culture unfortunately never went away. it just has a different coat of paint now.#people trying to pathologise their kids reenacting and doing their little skibidi cosplays as a ''syndrome'' will never not be funny to me#better go ahead and classify every slightly weird thing kids do as a syndrome because that is literally just normal kid behaviour#kids always incorporate a bit of their own experiences and the stuff they like into play. i did it all the time when i was a kid.#if i were a kid today would me reenacting mlp scenes word for word with my toys be considered a ''syndrome''? yeah i don't think so#so why is it suddenly a syndrome when kids reenact those silly gmod videos they watch online through play? hm?#is it actually an illness or do you just find it ''cringe''?#i think the double standards of the internet when it comes to what kids like are so fucking stupid#stop trying to act like your bizarre tf2 gmod videos are somehow better than the og skibidi series because i promise you they are not.#you're likely just clouded by nostalgia and being gatekeepy for no reason. let kids enjoy stuff and stop bashing it just because-#-''ohhh its so cringggeee'' when you used to watch the exact same type of shit when you were a kid.#i personally will always prefer ''Heavy's Odd Fastfood Experience'' to skibidi toilet but i don't bash the latter because it-#-doesn't bother me in any way and i don't care if kids like it. it's not evil or bad. it's just different.#anyway rant over gmod videos go hard and cringe will be dead someday#i will keep killing cringe until it's nothing but a tiny lil red stain on the floor
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Interacted with a blog via one of my side blogs then looked at their DNI and it was several paragraphs like
"If you ship ANYTHING, DNI. If you post NSFW/NSFT in any main tags, DNI. If I think you're problematic in any way DNI"
And they didn't elaborate on the last one
Honey. What does that mean
I'm a big fat loud queer with a history of making NSFW art including stuff some would deem problematic. I don't shy away from politics. How am I supposed to know what you think is problematic? Maybe you're fine with people like me and maybe you're not!?!?
But all you've seen of me is my cat blog so. My cats are not problematic (except when they get into the recycling bin or similar shenanigans) so I guess you're just gonna have to deal with me
#DNIs are a bit silly in general imho#if you don't like things it's kind of on you to block tags and block people and curate your own experience#you can't really expect people to read six paragraphs about who you don't like before they reblog a post of yours#which they may have seen on their dash or smth. most people don't bother going to each individual blog whose post they see on the dash#and if you say like... DNI bigots or smth#no-one identifies as a bigot. and if they did... do you think they're a kind enough person to respect your DNI?#if you don't like me. just block me#save us both the stress#you can't control who sees your stuff when you put it on the internet. sorry. that's just kind of... reality#also. ps i ship farcille whatcha gonna do about it
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Honestly if Iâm being honest I think thereâs a massive issue with how we discuss harassment, assault, and other extreme negative behaviors public figures exhibit. Instead of focusing on the victims and survivors of situations we continuously focus the conversation on the people who have done the harm. We need to make the narrative focus on people who had to go through shit because of people. Particularly I think that this is because of internet culture now. Itâs essentially turned into a moral purity war especially in fandoms, which is really frustrating. Itâs turned into this whole thing where you have to say that âif you support or like this person fuck youâ instead of educating people and distancing yourself from those youâve been educated and still plan to support that person. Also I think we need to learn that not every action a public figure whoâs a bad person is going to be negative and you can still appreciate those aspects of that person while acknowledging that they are shitty. Iâm not saying support that person but I think people have this idea now a days where every action a public figure whoâs a bad person does is bad and malicious and itâs just kind of moral policing instead of discussing the actions that actually do harm. Any the main point is center conversations like this on the victims and their feelings.
#this is kind of partially based on how I think people discuss Robert Manion#but itâs also just some things thatâs been bothering me about how people discuss things on the internet nowadays#how the fuck do I tag this#starkid#I guess cause it was partially based on this#Robert Manion#????#maybe??
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as I'm going back over my past history and items and journals and years, I come across all sorts of things, like the pencil I saved from that so-precious memory from second grade, and a pair of flip flops I've been missing for two years, and [checks notes] the modern-high-school-AU-kidnapped-by-a-serial-killer story I wrote in late high school jdfsjdfsjkjlksfd
#i can't wait to find out what red flags I didn't see in my own self back when I last read this thing in 2015 hfdhfdhjsfd#also. there's gonna be like a good sentence here and there and then CRINGE. the whole rest of everything is just me still trying to copy th#breathing pace (essentially) and ways-of-describing-things of mainstream authors like I thought I was supposed to#so this'll be somewhat painful but also god what a joy and a gift and an honor and a delight to get to hold this close to my heart#and witness it with understanding and empathy and slow reflection and care like my past younger self deserves#i'm so lucky i'm alive to be here and do this#i'm so grateful i'm headed towards welcoming back and embracing the last little girl i was that still felt a lot of things#so excited for her focus and precision and tenacity and constant curious joy and movement to be back someday#i'm afraid people won't like the me i was before rule after rule and then dangers#but my god it'll feel so good to be the fully-flowing energy machine and dance and conduit again how will I have enough bother to care?#people who are good to each others' nervous systems cumulatively feel better and better#if i'm not good for you and yours then you really truly SHOULD go elsewhere and find someone who makes YOUR self feel right and light + war#anyway now that i wrote an essay in the tags as usual [nervous laughter]#personal#add to journal#words n rhythm#WHY DID I FEEL CAPABLE OF UNDERTAKING A STORY LIKE THIS#cradling my past self gently but also BANGING my HEAD against the WALL lmao#i'm proud of myself for writing and sharing this and its creative ideas. even if i don't like it now or feel ashamed or see mistakes.#anything. it mattered that it came to me and it mattered that i explored it and it mattered that i poured myself through it to help shape i#and it mattered that I left it on the internet so that now it still exists. i'm going to honor this story no matter what current me would#objectively think about it if it was written by anyone else.#this is a gift i give myself now.#this is a lot of what I learn and learn to do#trauma evolution#mosswrites
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đ§Ą
#don't even know why I bothered with that post now#the person blocked me anyway so it's not like they'll see it#so what was even the point?#probably to just vent tbh#people need to remember#I'm old and I'm cynical#there are things I know I shouldn't let get to me but they do#sometimes the internet just sucks
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