#theyre so fucking tragic

[squarebracketsmileyface]

I both love and hate the way Sorry it's locked has just completely taken over my brain. I think about it fucking constantly. On the plus side tho, I found another song that reminds me of it: dogbird by Madds Buckley.

Like, I heard it and went, oh this is Jay thinking about himself and Tim, but then like, I thought about it more and it's actually more like Alex's point of view on himself and his relationship with Jay. It's so evil. I love it.

Like, damnit I wanna do a whole thing on each lyric and how it relates to Jaylex hang on 💀 this is probably gonna end up too long.

It has, in fact, ended up pretty long. Also warning for mentions of sex and kink etc, nothing graphic, but just in case you don't know what Sorry It's Locked is

Alex being the dog and Jay being the bird just makes sense honestly. Like, especially from Alex's pov, Jay is fragile, but also free (from the self hatred that is eating Alex alive) like a bird and Alex is scared of breaking him, even though he also knows just how much Jay can actually take. He knows Jay's tough as nails, but he also sort of sees him as fragile, not because he is, but because Alex wants to be able to protect and care for him properly. But Alex is a dog, he has sharp teeth and claws and everything he tries to do just ends up with Jay getting hurt (usually emotionally, because both of them enjoy the physical stuff) so his self hatred gets worse and he hurts Jay more.

Then the events of Marble Hornets happen and Alex can turn it around because now hurting Jay is the right thing to do, because it'll drive Jay away and stop him from dragging himself into this mess, which means Alex won't have to kill him to save him.

Okay, anyway, lyrics:

Like, with this bit it's Alex talking about how scared he is, because in Sorry It's Locked he's fucking terrified of EVERYTHING. He's scared of the operator, he's scared of losing Jay, he's scared of keeping Jay, he's scared of everything, so he lashes out, digs his claws in to try and drive Jay away, because that'll keep Jay safe from the operator, if he stops investigating etc.

Also "I cry when something shakes the walls" to me is very much Alex being all alone dealing with all the shit from the operator, not knowing when it'll show up again etc. So any noise in his house that he's not expecting is terrifying to him.

[Chorus]

This can go for Alex precanon or during Sorry It's Locked, honestly.

He feels guilty for how he treats Jay, even though he knows they both enjoy the rougher, more kinky sex, but he also has always made sure that they never got too genuinely close and intimate (like kissing or cuddling properly, or Jay staying the night, or them fucking in a bed etc) because it scared Alex that he liked Jay like that, that he wanted to be gentle with him. (Internalised homophobia precanon, and then fear for Jay's safety from the Operator during)

He knew that if Jay stayed the night he'd be quiet and gentle and kind to Alex, and Alex didn't know how he'd ever cope with that. So he just made sure he'd never have to cope with that.

Now during Sorry It's Locked Alex wishes that Jay had never met him because he knows how much he's hurt Jay emotionally. He wants Jay to hurt him back but he knows Jay never will, either because Jay's too much of a nice person (eh) or because he's too scared of Alex, especially given everything he kind of now knows Alex has done.

Alex wishes Jay would leave of his own accord, but he knows Jay never will. He has to drive him away, and the only way he can think to do that is to hurt him so bad that Jay will hate him. Hence the kisses and then Alex lashing out in the kitchen and saying he was pretending it was Amy. (I hate him. I want to give him therapy.)

More stuff about precanon Sorry It's Locked Jaylex in this one, specifically Alex and his internalised homophobia and fear of coming out to anyone or letting anyone know he and Jay were anything to each other. He'd want to say he wasn't ashamed, but nah he definitely was, not ashamed of liking Jay, or not only that. He was also ashamed of the fact that he didn't stand up to anyone when they made jabs or digs towards him or Jay. Also, homophobic family, because he just seems like the type, and it's my fic so I can say that he had a homophobic family.

BUT, because of said family, Alex knows that his own self hatred will hurt Jay too, so he's apologising to Jay for the fact that he's still unable to sort his shit out, so he's still on the leash and choking on his own homophobia and self hatred and he's trying not to let it get onto Jay, but he can't really. He feels like there's nothing he can do except hurt jay. It's just his nature. His breed. And Alex is scared to try and step outside that. Hence him leaping at the chance to be with Amy.

(Tho he DID love her, a lot, a lot a lot and at the time he didn't even realise he was at least partly so eager to date her as an excuse to get away from his feelings for Jay, he figured that out later on and actually talked to Amy about it. Because I swear to god Alex got at least one healthy relationship in this damn fic. He deserves it, and Amy's perfect for it)

Anyway, Alex was scared to try and push past his own self hatred, even though he kind of knew (and definitely knows now) that not doing so will just leave Jay even more hurt and "crushed at his side"

Then it's the chorus again, with the same meanings as before.

The whole thing with habits and instincts? The bell ringing and mouth watering? Alex feels like he's been trained to hurt Jay, like no matter what he does he can't help but hurt Jay even though that's the last thing he wants to do. Then the Operator shows up and Alex has no choice, he HAS to hurt Jay to keep him safe, just like he had to hurt and kill so many other people to save them. He wants Jay to hate him. He wants Jay to be afraid of him, anything that'll stop Jay coming back and dragging himself into all the shit that's happening.

But then Jay isn't scared, or he IS, but he's not scared enough, and he's definitely not scared enough of Alex. And Alex can't decide whether he's glad about that or not. Because on the one hand he NEEDS jay to be scared of him, but emotionally he doesn't WANT jay to be scared of him because he likes him and he really wants them to work their shit out, but the time's wrong and it's not safe for Jay to stay.

He feels bad for how he has to treat Jay to try and scare him off, then feels hideously guilty for it afterwards because god what a monster he must be to treat someone he loves like that. Then he feels all sorry for himself and then feels bad for feeling sorry for himself lmao.

Wishing that little songbird was still mine, basically what happens with Alex after chapter two is him losing his shit over the fact that Jay's gone again, and Alex feeling like absolute dogshit because they went full circle. They fell apart in uni, didn't see each other for ages, saw each other again, picked up where they left off, fucked everything up, and now Alex has lost Jay for good. Because this time he HAS to make sure Jay doesn't come back because it's genuinely soooooooooo unsafe because of the Operator and if Jay comes back Alex will have no choice but to kill him. (He blocks Jay's number etc so that Jay can't contact him and try to arrange a time they can meet up again etc)

ALSO "my love is sick"??? Also very Alex feeling like there's something wrong with how he loves, because in the end he's hurt and/or killed everyone he's loved. Like, damn this poor man would have SO many issues if he survived, maybe I'm gonna be doing him a favour by killing him in the fic I have planned for around entry 80-85 💀

This shit's so messy and it probably makes no sense but I don't care I needed to get it out of my head, and it was gone midnight when I wrote this lmao

[bandtrees]

they would get divorced in one universe just to find eachother in another one

alternatively titled: sometimes you're the level-headed token flesh-head impulse-control-and-polycule-member of a stubborn, eccentric, and hearty telephone-headed drug addict, and there's cruelty in the world you deem fit to suicidally fight, and that either goes about as well as you'd expect it to, or you learn about love and the value of your life and junk along the way

[dukeofthomas]

My understanding of Jason Todd's age;

Jason dies when he's 15, 4 months before his 16th birthday. He is dead for any number of time; it doesn't count towards his age.

He's resurrected; he is in a coma for 1 year, then catatonic for another. He is then put into a Lazarus Pit. (These 2 years are practically useless, as he doesn't remember them and they contribute very little to the story. They could be condensed to 2 months and it would change basically nothing.)

He trains for about a year. You can then give him 1-12 months of prep and planning time before his debut as the Red Hood, and the story of UT(R)H, at which point he would be mentally 16-17, physically 18-19, and it would be (--) years after his birth.

[sluckythewizard]

'I wont cry for you, I wont crucify the things you do. I wont cry for you, see, when you're gone, I'll still be BLOODY MARY'

[bacchuschucklefuck]

love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest

[just-mebs]

Whenever I think about HamBurr, I can't help but think of it as a fluctuating one-sided mess starting with what is Hamilton's crush on Burr in the beginning, and later Burr's own crush on Hamilton.

Hamilton is starstrucked when he meets Burr. It might be a case of puppy love or similar, but I think that through the first act you see this crush on his side that is persistent even despite their butting heads. Maybe Burr sees it too. Maybe he takes it for granted. Maybe he thinks it's silly or unimportant or just a distraction while he waits for life to make decisions for him.

And then BOOM: Hamilton moves on (both physically with the war ending and emotionally seeing how Burr never reciprocated his feelings in any concrete way). He's going for more in life. He's moving forward to make a life out of the world he's helped create that Burr seems uninterested in in a way (see: Non-Stop). And I think it's this turning point that makes Burr kind of "wake up" and realize his own feelings. He sees Hamilton moving on and making a life for himself and suddenly its like all the feeling he did have for Hamilton, the feelings he either ignored and pushed aside, come front and center and he's realizes that he's missed such an important part of his own life.

Or maybe it's now that Hamilton isn't actively pursuing him/giving him as much attention that he's realized that it's something he did take for granted and now regrets. So now, with Burr harboring these feelings, feeling the way that Hamilton probably felt for years during the war, he slowly becomes bitter. He's constantly trying to outdo Hamilton or prove himself to be on the same level or higher than he his. And while Hamilton acknowledges Burr throughout all of this, he never gets back to that contemporaneous war time love Burr so desperately wants from him.

[lawlietscaramels]

of α and β

Warnings!! dead dove - do not eat, cannibalism, implied cannibalism, death (before the start of the short), horror(?), blood (image).

It's rather dark, but not very explicit. Continue with caution.

A was dead.

A was dead.

A was dead.

The words cascaded through B's head, lines of green text overlapping as they fell.

A was dead.

B was next.

“He who says A must say B likewise.” That was Hansel and Gretel, the version he read with them in the dusty room that Thursday.

B didn't like the funeral.

He didn't like the black clothes. The Victorian element of it all. He didn't like the church.

He didn't like A's grave.

He sat on the grass covered in weeds and ripped them out, then ripped out the flowers too and stared at the stone.

A was dead.

Stone was the rest of them.

No.

They were there.

B ripped the grass away. Then the dirt. He ripped at the wood and their flesh and held their heart.

A was dead.

B was next.

There was very little blood.

Between the lines of alpha and beta, half a heartbeat made two one.

Dear L did you know

If you write it right,

A fits inside B?

　★━━─・‥…━━━☆

𝖎𝖋 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖑𝖎𝖐𝖊𝖉 𝖎𝖙 ˏˋ⋆˖⁺˖⁀➷ 𝖕𝖑𝖊𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖗𝖊𝖇𝖑𝖔𝖌 + 𝖋𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖔𝖜

→ thanks to @levi-dayne for being my beta reader! ←

©lawlietscaramels. Do not repost on other sites, claim as your own work, edit, rewrite or “fix,” feed to AI or otherwise use unethically.

[vaugarde]

havent seen this take in a while thankfully but it popped up in my head and i wanna post this anyways. i think everyone who talks about how siffrin “got off too easy” at the end of isat and his friends should have abandoned him should go read warrior cats if they want an example of a character using their trauma as their god-given jailbreak card to treat their family and peers (a good amount of whom who were completely innocent) like dogshit, and who faces zero consequences from the narrative for it (and in fact bends over to blame their peers). like read all the shit jayfeather does while the narrative sobs over how tragic but awesome and quirky he is and then look me in the eye and tell me siffrin’s ending was poorly written.

[lesbiantrish]

i think i could heal if people were more crazy about spydoc. btw

[imaginepostingonsideblogs]

I'm about to sleep so my thoughts are so incoherent but thinking about iterative personhood and grandpa duo and they're just so. Someone kill me

[st-peculiar]

I’m remembering the Lovelace and Jacobi friendship thing they had going on the Urania and oufgh

[whatthefuckisasweep]

the thing that gets me about reddie is that, yeah, it’s a 2 pathetic middle aged men who cant handle feelings so they bicker as a love language type beat which is honestly always a banger… but the fact that R+E is somehow fucking real- like-

bro, richie was down HORRENDOUS. he was teenage boy with a crush for 27 years down bad. he was make playlists, kick your feet, carve your initials, doodle in your sketchbook down bad. he was make him annoyed to give you attention downbad. he was joke about your crush to throw off tHE TRAIL DOWN BAD. he never said a PEEP about it too, because he was fucking terrified.

then it all just fucking disappeared. except it fucking didnt because richie still holds on to that crush even without knowing who the hell eddie is! like! what the fuck! he chose to love him so fucking hard even evil cosmic magic couldnt erase his footprint in his brain! from literal childhood! then, to make it even WORSE, when he remembers it all and eddie is DYING in his fucking arms, he STILL, STILL, doesnt have the gall to say it!!! and the thing is, when eddie dies, he has no fucking idea that R+E is there. he has no fucking idea. but he knows he’s loved. he just doesnt know in entirety what ways. its fucking tragic.

[technicallyblakebelladonna]

not me rereading the stormlight archive to prepare for the release of Stormlight 5 and getting to the start of words of radiance and falling back into my shasnah bullshit all over again

[jasperandhenryslovechild]

urges to post a whole ass 1818282829 word splurge about my ocs and my hd / df au even though next to nobody would actually read them

my happiness is enough reason to me

someone drop an ask about them i beg

[botanicallyinclinednerd]

Legends of Tomorrow is so fucking mean for the season 3 plot line of Jax and Stein working to separate Firestorm so Stein can go home to be a grampa and Jaz can stay on the team with his powers. They are fucking assholes for this, for how the plotline ends

[elfdyke]

lottienat goes so fucking hard because its so firmly tragically rooted in the two timelines. sure they knew each other before the crash, they were friends, but i dont think they were close (as if lottie was close with anyone). they got spun up in each other in the wilderness, pragmatic and prophet, twisted in each other's web... but then after the rescue, anything they might have had out there, snuffed out instantly. lottie quickly ushered off to a psych ward, to switzerland. and nat burying herself in substances, desperately wanting to forget. but then here they are 25 years later. lottie saving her life. lottie helping her heal, helping her live again. theyre caught in each other's orbit for these two set times, but nothing more