Tidbits of ATSV That I Enjoyed (Or Alternatively: Just Miles Being The Most Endearing Spidey Ever)
Miles patting The Spot's head after successfully webbing him (I don't see this as condescending, but rather him still engaging with the humanity of a villain like Spot) and ~very assertively~ telling/asking him not to escape.
"I'm like Robin Hood-if he gave to himself."
Miles' spidey senses going off when he arrives late to his dad's party because there's nothing more frightening than Brown parents when they're mad at you. Beware the chancla or correa!
O.k. So we all know there are different versions of the movie out there. You may already know that one of the slight differences is when Miles goes to save Inspector Singh. There's a version where you can hear Gwen's voice in the distant background yelling no! when she thinks Miles gets crushed under the rubble, and there's another where she's silent as she webs to him. Now, I have found ANOTHER version (online) where her shouting is even more at the forefront. She's practically screaming and sounds more desperate, (prolly because it's close to the same way her Peter Parker died so she's reliving trauma) and the fear in her voice is palpable. That one haunts me.
Jefferson trying to equate studying for his police exams to childbirth, which Rio quickly nips in the bud.
Ganke having a soccer poster of Son Heung Min, a famous Korean footballer who currently plays for the Premier League Tottenham Hotspur and is captain of the South Korean national team.
Miles having a Sashimi (his universe's version of Supreme, but I just like the idea that Miles loves eating sashimi. Like I know that kid has good taste in food) poster in his bedroom.
The fact that Miles kept in touch with Aunt May for long enough after the events of ITSV that he helps her move.
The Spot saying he was one of the more handsome scientists at Alchemax according to his colleagues.
Miles and Gwen having the same collectible toys, the only difference being that he keeps his in the box and she doesn't.
"Hey, don't try to wow me with big words, man," *in deep manly voice* "I do crosswords every day"- Miles after Spot points out Alchemax as "the crucible of our connection!"
Miles going, "This job is so dumb sometimes" after he tries to web Spot at the deli, but it goes through a hole and lands on his face.
"Nahhh, he seems more Dominican to me." Kinda want Miles to meet a native Dominican Spidey because that dynamic would highkey fuck hard *pun not intended*. They would repair relations between our two islands-PR&DR.
"Almost there Mami *smiley face* *cowboy* prayer hands*"
The college admissions coach at Visions Academy straight up saying, "That's your story! Now, just stick to the script..." Ma'am what???
"Calmate Mami, eso no es my fault."
"I've hit a lot of different villains with a lot of different food...I'm just trying to lighten the mood."
Miles in his angsty teen era and smart-mouthing everyone around him. Love that for him.
"He almost killed his mom as a baby, I mean, look at those shoulders." No but for real tho. Those shoulders are as wide as a truck. Kim Seokjin who??? (if you understood that reference, ily).
Miles writing a love letter to his dad in 2 cakes.
Gwen at the water tower chowing and saying how feelings make her hungry after her and Miles talked about how they can't be together cause it would end in tragedy. Like Gwen, come again?!
Also, Miles' and Gwen's talk at the Williamsburg Bank Building being lowkey the catalyst for the 2nd/3rd acts of the film. Without them both kind of silently admitting their feelings for each other, Miles probably wouldn't have chased after her the way he did. Pretty sure you know the rest.
"I bet she doesn't even speak Spanish," and Jeff going "Que barbaridad" in his very broken Spanish. Queue Rio's bombastic side eye.
Both Gwen and Miles referring to Spot as a Villain Of The Week, even though neither of them have spoken about Spot to each other.
"I was bitten by a-wouldnt you like to know? Know what I mean?" SIR. Chill. This movie is for children.
The Spot inverting himself, going from a white mass with black spots to a gaping black hole with smaller white spirals. It's giving Junji Ito.
The irony of Pavitr exclaiming, "Well that was another easy adventure for Spider-Man!" right before an incoming canon event. HIS. He was about to experience his first big loss, and his happy-go-lucky nature would've been challenged.
Miguel saying conyo! when all the Spideys start pointing at each other.
"!Cállate!" "Nosy!" Sidebar: we don't talk about Gwen's banter with bad guys enough. She's so funny!
A lot of the Peters saying hi to Gwen as she passes HQ because she is canonically the one lost love--the love interest they all would've ended up with had she not died, so they all have an affection for her.
Web-Slinger going "Giddy up!" Cause he's swinging up.
Miles offering his fresh new takes on how to deal with the Spot upon meeting Miguel, saying "He just wants to be taken seriously. Like we all do." MILES YOU BEAUTIFUL, COMPASSIONATE GOLDEN SUNFLOWER BOY I LOVE YOUUUUU.
Hobie referring to Peter B. as Humbling Reality Spider-Man, which considering how steeped in tragedy the Spidey lore is, is really saying something.
Miguel's nonono no puedo más no puedo más. His misery is very funny and delightful to me. Little bitch ass.
"You know you're the only Spider-Man who isn't funny." Yes! More Miguel slander in the next one, please! Little bitch ass.
"Snitch!"
Miles shouting out Peter's name for help whilst Miguel pins and lays into him the fact that he's an anomaly. This after he momentarily glitches back to his ITSV store-bought suit. Mimicking the way-in also the first movie-Miles shouting out Peter's name for his own rescue as Doc Ock attacks him at the research facility. Because even though he feels hurt by Peter at this point, that's still his dad mentor and he still instinctively looks to him for protection. Rip my heart out why don't you!
Gwen sneaking back into her and her dad's place just to get that printed polaroid of her and Miles, a pic she already has on her phone.
Earth-42 Miles wearing Nike while our Miles wears Jordans.
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Taxi to Hell
#33.2
(Part 1) (Part 2)
The villain’s lair isn’t as bad as the civilian expected. It’s a little on the dank side, sure, but it’s clean, clearly well loved. The little room she’s dumped in is exactly like the rest of the place—cold, but pristine.
The only thing she’d change is the thick cuffs around her wrists. It seems a little overkill, since she’s possibly the least dangerous person on earth, but telling her oh-so-kind driver that hadn’t changed his mind. If anything, he made them a little tighter.
Said driver has been drifting in and out of the room ever since they got here. He’s clearly one of the villain’s henchmen, constantly on the phone and sighing and huffing and getting visibly irritated. She gets the distinct impression she’s ruined his day, but she daren’t say anything about it in case he gets even more mad.
He comes in after fifteen minutes, for the nth time, but he’s not on the phone. He just stares at her, arms crossed, letting his incensed glare bore into her.
“Boss is on their way,” he informs her after watching her shift awkwardly in the silence for a moment. “Hope you have your explanation ready.”
She doesn’t have an explanation, really. Her explanation is that she mistook their getaway car as her taxi and neither she nor the driver questioned it until they were too far away to do anything about it. How viable even is that? The villain’s going to think she's the world’s worst undercover hero or something.
The door swings open no more than ten minutes later, and the henchman—standing pointedly next to it to stop all zero of the civilian’s escape attempts—gives the villain a short nod as they enter.
“[Villain],” he greets quietly. The villain, clearly less intent on the formalities, breezes past him with a bright grin.
“Oh, [Henchman], it’s not a big deal, I promise. Lighten up.” The henchman locks his eyes to the floor stiffly, and the villain pauses when he doesn’t heed the instruction. “[Henchman].”
He finally looks back up at the villain, and they laugh lightly. “Give me a smile, darling.”
His eyes flit nervously to the civilian, sitting a couple of metres away and watching their entire interaction, before offering the villain a smile. It’s small, not entirely genuine, but it seems to be enough for his boss as they turn away from him with a satisfied hum.
“Now, what poor, lost soul have you brought in for me this evening?” They bend down slightly to where she’s sitting rather miserably, fiddling with the metal around her wrists, and she suddenly understands the urge to avoid their gaze. “I’ve been told you stole my car.”
The accusation startles her to say the least. “I– I didn’t steal it,” she blurts. Her eyes flit to the henchman, who seems uninterested in defending her lack of thievery. “I just– I thought it was my taxi. I was just trying to go home after work—I wasn’t thinking. It was an honest mistake, I swear. I really, really am sorry.”
The villain huffs something of a laugh. Their hand settles under her chin, tilting her head back and forcing her to meet their eye. The movement isn’t gentle, their touch guided by a familiarity with control, but it’s careful, like they’re handling something fragile.
She was expecting them to be annoyed, or maybe disbelieving, but the expression she’s met with is amusement. Their gaze roams for a moment, studying her face. “She’s not a hero,” they announce after a moment. She can see the henchman frown in her peripherals. She daren’t take her eyes off the villain now that she’s here.
“Are you sure?” the henchman asks uncertainly, and from here the civilian can see the slight crease of their brows at his words.
“I’m sure,” they counter sternly. Their tone leaves no space for question. “If she was a hero you’d be dead and she’d be long gone.”
The henchman shifts awkwardly with a nod, even though the villain can’t see it. A silence settles in the room, tense and uncomfortable, and the civilian stupidly decides to make another effort to proclaim her innocence.
“It was an accident,” she adds, and it comes out a lot more timid than she intended. The villain clicks their tongue thoughtfully before offering her a kind smile, sincere and mild.
“I know,” they whisper, and they finally let go of her and step back. “She can go.”
The henchman visibly blanches. “[Villain], I don’t know if that’s—”
“She’s not a hero, and she made an honest mistake,” the villain cuts over him sharply. “She’s not a threat. Let her go.”
The henchman steps forward with a disbelieving huff, key in hand, and within a moment the cuffs are off her wrists. He hauls her to her feet, the force sending her staggering slightly. “Be careful,” the villain adds casually.
He starts for the door with the civilian in tow. The villain puts a hand on his arm as he gets to the exit, and the touch gives him pause. Their hand is on him, but their gaze is locked onto the civilian.
“Don’t get in any of my cars again,” they say lightly, as if the threat beneath it isn’t as clear as day, “or I might be forced to put it down to more than a coincidence. Are we clear?”
She nods tightly. “Crystal.”
They return her nod with one of their own, and with a smile they move their hand from the henchman’s arm. It’s like he unfreezes, and the moment they’re away from him he’s back on the move, tugging her away and down the plain corridors.
The henchman is so kind as to drop her off where he found her. There’s police tape around the bank behind her, half the building blown to smithereens. She pulls out her phone with a sigh—which the henchman gave back to her once they were out the villain’s lair—and pulls up her usual app for a ride home. Her last driver gave her a one star review as a passenger, complaining about how she didn’t turn up and left him hanging around at a crime scene.
She shoves her phone back in her pocket with a groan, resigned to her fate. She’ll just walk.
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