#they're weird and fucked up! they're not conventionally attractive!!

[bookwyrminspiration]

a sexyman is not a sexy man. a sexyman is a different concept involving pathetic, wet kitten, scrunkled, often evil, often attractive in atypical (e.g. is a yellow pyramid) ways. pull yourselves together

[sunderwight]

Headcanon that Shen Yuan was hotter than Shen Qingqiu, actually.

Like yeah SQQ being a cultivator gave him a boost to enough attributes + being in a stallion novel where everyone is either unrealistic hot or dog's butt ugly got the Shen Qingqiu body extra points, and he wasn't bad looking to begin with. Plus not being ill is vastly more important to the new Shen Qingqiu than those extra hotness points (Without a Cure notwithstanding). But part of the reason why he's kind of like, meh, at least I'm not hideous or anything, is because Shen Yuan's original body was a knock out.

I also like him as chronically ill, and, as many people know, beauty standards and sustained suffering are not as incompatible as they should be. Shen Yuan was conventionally attractive in part because conventional beauty standards seem to want everyone slowly dying all the time. But even setting that aside, the man had flawless bone structure, an appealing figure, captivating eyes, and the kind of voice that stopped people in their tracks.

All of which was a contributing factor to his antisocial lifestyle, actually. Despite the fact that Shen Yuan does enjoy company and requires a certain baseline of social enrichment for his enclosure, his internalized homophobia and closeting did not play well with overtures from interested parties (regardless of gender). The only way to minimize the odds of him being asked out on dates was to essentially become a shut-in, especially since even Shen Yuan can only make so many excuses before he himself starts to notice that he's going to a lot of effort to avoid specifically that avenue of socialization. Far better to just remove himself from any risk of it, and then vocally lament that oh no he's just too much of a nerd to get anywhere with women!

Anyway this largely doesn't matter much outside of sheer comedy potential for any situation where SY gets his old body/life back. Like imagine a reveal scenario where the System is going to transport them back to their old lives.

Shang Qinghua: well bro I guess this is gonna be the ultimate test of love, right?

Shen Yuan: what do you mean?

Shang Qinghua: our husbands are gonna see what we looked like back before we were glorious cultivators! they're going to have to track us down in our mundane, kinda shitty pre-transmigration lives! it's gonna be at least a little embarrassing, right?

Shen Yuan: *gets his old body back*

Shang Qinghua, normal human with average looks: ...

Shen Yuan, exemplary 11/10: ?

Shang Qinghua: what. the fuck?? bro what the fuck why are you hot???

Shen Yuan: don't make it weird

Shang Qinghua: make it weird??? why were you sitting at home reading my shitty novel when you could have been out there building your own harem???

Shen Yuan: stop exaggerating

Shang Qinghua: oh my god you've always been like this. this is it, isn't it? it wasn't even brain damage from the transmigration or something--

Shen Yuan: hey

Shang Qinghua: --you've just always been completely unaware, haven't you? every time I wrote a beautiful woman who didn't know her own appeal you'd be jumping down my throat--

Shen Yuan: because that's a stupid trope--!

Shang Qinghua: --JUMPING DOWN MY THROAT EXACTLY LIKE THAT but this whole time THIS WHOLE TIME it wasn't even a glow-up issue, you've just been that, personified, yourself--

Shen Yuan: look I know I'm not ugly but I'm not I'm hardly that good-looking

Shang Qinghua: YOU ARE NEVER ALLOWED TO CRITICIZE THAT TROPE AGAIN! oh my god. how many broken hearts did you leave behind when you died?!

Shen Yuan: none, I wasn't even seeing anyone--

Shang Qinghua: yeah full offense but I am nottt taking your word for that. I bet you had a harem you didn't know about in this lifetime too. I bet you had a fan club, like an anime prince

Shen Yuan: *mumbling*

Shang Qinghua: what was that?

Shen Yuan: I said... only in high school...

Shang Qinghua: oh my god

Shen Yuan: it wasn't a big deal!

Shang Qinghua: *frantically trying to see if he can find any trace of it on the internet now*

[sunayyyy]

Worst fandom mischaracterisation/headcanon of each bat-associated character, in my opinion (these are in no particular order) :

1. Duke Thomas is the sane, rational, "normal" one.

Have you ever read the We Are Robin arc? Duke is fucking unhinged, his introduction was him jumping off a bridge to escape cops. This is a kid whose father is immortal and is the first metahuman in the batfam. He lost his parents in the most horrendous way possible (joker venom. They're still alive, but it's horrifying) and organised a whole gang as a child. He threw down with a green lantern and 2 shot his ass. Hopefully, this headcanon is just a product of people not really knowing the character and goes away soon once people find out more about him, when he isn't just the token black guy in a fic or a background character in batfam drama.

2. Stephanie Brown is quirky and sassy, and ONLY quirky and sassy. She's over her trauma with Black Mask and Cluemaster!!

Stephanie Brown is a very interesting character, with an origin story that is very similar to jason todd. She's been through hell, yet she constantly gets infantalised by the fandom, which gets kind of ignored in favour of talking shit about how people infantilse tim (super valid and I'll come back to it later on in this post). You most commonly see this in timsteph stories where they show her as the immature first love, and how as tim grows up, he needs to date more "serious" people, as if tim wasn't the main reason their relationship never worked. This is also common in stephcass fics, although on a smaller level. Writers tend to make stephanie the bubbly outgoing girl that balances out all of cass' angst (some of those fics are really good, but they mould steph in a specific shape so she can be a prop for cass to heal). On an even smaller scale, I've seen both romantic and platonic jaysteph stories where stephanie appears as the "good" victim who let go of her animosity to black mask and cluemaster, and so now, she can help jason let go of what happened with the joker, and bruce's abuse. Obviously, this is a disservice to both of these characters, but people tend to focus on how it's more of a disservice to jason instead of steph. Let my girl express her trauma and heal, and stop using her as a prop for other characters! She wasn't just cutesy as robin, she threw the fuck down. Her introduction included hitting tim in the head with a brick!

3. Slut/himbo Dick Grayson is reductive of his abilities as a leader, and is not only offensive to real survivors of SA, but incredibly racist towards Romani people.

Do I really need to explain this one? Dick Grayson is a symbol of hope that bruce wishes batman could be. This man is a natural born leader and has stepped up to the plate multiple times, both during his time with the titans and as batman. He's charismatic and lovable and a genuinely intelligent man, but for some reason, he gets depicted as a dumbass who has to deffer to bruce or tim or babs any time he has an issue with detective work. Yes, you can delegate. Of course, you can delegate, but going straight to tim and rattling off the case you JUST accepted doesn't make sense, ESPECIALLY if you're on seperate cases and tim or bruce have to postpone their work just to solve it for you. As for the other part, Dick has been heavily implied to be demisexual, given that he only has sex with people he has genuine feelings for. He wouldn't just sleep with any random woman who compliments his ass enough. Also, having an SA victim be characterised as a slut is both reductive of their trauma and a weird way that some authors justify how he's "over it." Really doesn't help that he was slut shamed (canonically!! why is this canon??) by the rest of the titans after sleeping with mirage, who pretended to be kori. Additionally, it's really weird if the first thing you think of when you see an attractive romani man just sleeps around. People don't say that about other conventionally attractive characters, even ones who HAVE slept around. The only character i can think of that gets characterised like this is bruce, but that's an image that he cultivated to keep batman hidden.

4. Jason Todd was always doomed by the narrative. He would have died if bruce hadn't intervened. Also, pit rage.

The tragedy of jason todd was, and always has been, that he was doomed by the AUDIENCE. He wasn't just an angry, reckless child, and calling him the angry robin is stupid and reductive. Was he angry? of course he was, but so was dick, and so was damian. Using a single word to describe a person is never going to be enough. Jason was notoriously compassionate to victims, especially women and children, and sex abuse victims. He got pissed when the system he was asked to believe in was shown to be ineffective, to the point where bruce believed he killed a man over it. The kid had a bright future ahead and loved school, modt of robin!jason's shitty qualities came from bruce and alfred compartmentaling his image and shitting on him to ease their guilt over his death. Pit rage is also a cheap way to take away his autonomy, an easy pass to explain the shitty things he's done. I like it when the pit has side effects like glowing eyes or increased healing or something, but pit rage is stupid. It's either used to force characters to forgive jason since he wasn't himself or as an angst prompt for jason, another testament to how he came back wrong, or a way to have him hurt a character to further up THEIR angst (*cough* titans tower AU fics*cough*). Yes, he did shitty things. Let him do shitty things without giving him an easy out. Otherwise, your story isn't compelling at all.

5. Feral Damian Wayne is just straight-up racist, no?

I love damian. I think that, for the most part, he's been written pretty well. However, damian suffers from the fact that he's an arab character in a post 9/11 comic, and thus there is bound to be some casual racism, both in comics (like when tim assumed he was too uncivilised to know what a handshake is) and fandom. Has damian wayne done a lot of shitty things, especially to tim? Yes, absolutely. But that doesn't make him feral. He was raised by assassins as the heir to the throne and to the greatest hero in the world, raised to think that blood relations are the only ones that matter, so of course he's dismissive of tim. He's also a prince who was raised in luxury, who was born as royalty and has experienced more opulence during his birth thsn most peoole do in a lifetime, although this opulence is extremely conditional, with horrifying requirements (the story with damian having a metal spine as a child is insane). Does it make what he did to tim right? Definitely not. Does it excuse his actions? Also no. But it does explain them, it tells us where it came from. Being traumatised and having extremely high expectations of both sides of your family doesn't make you feral.

6. Tim Drake is just a small little baby who can't function without his coffee.

Let me preface this by saying that i don't like tim drake. At all. As a huge fan of the al ghuls it was a real kick in the balls having Ra's be reduced to a creepy pedophile who wanted tim as an heir, and sent a woman to rape tim in order to carry his child. Also, I hate how DC decided to prop him up by shitting on jason todd. However, this doesn't mean that I don't enjoy his YJ run and that I don't enjoy some of his comics/fics. That being said, nothing on this earth pisses me off more than tim stans. You know the ones, the people who want damian hanged, who want dick and jason and bruce to fall to their knees and beg for forgiveness. Tim has been through an insane amount of trauma, and that's understandable, but please, for the love of god, don't create more whump for tim at the cost of other characters. You can hate damian, I wouldn't blame you, but remember that he's like 10 and tim put him on a hit list. Dick never wanted to put tim in arkham, and he didn't have time to support tim when it came to an honestly insane (although ultimately correct) conclusion. Also damian as robin was alfred's idea, and damian was the one that put on the costume preemptively, dick got pissed at damian for that. When it comes to jason, I'd say it's complicated. While titans tower was fucked up, it wasn't as bad as people made it out to be. My first introduction to the fandom was through jason todd since he was my favourite robin, and then i learned they brought him back to life when i played injustice. The number of fics and posts that mention that jason went to the tower specifically to kill tim is insane. When i got into comics, it was like whiplash; it wasn't a one-sided beatdown, tim was conscious until the end, the goofy ass robin suit jason had on, jason never slitting tim's throat (that happens in hush, and even then i don't think he really slit his throat, since the art shows that the skin was kinda nicked), all of that was wild to me. BftC is one of the shittiest comjc book runs when it comes to characterisation in general, and I've already discussed dick and tim, so it's only fair to talk about jason and tim. There's no justification here, honestly, other than shitty writing i guess. The other side of the coin is enemies to caretaker jason and tim, which is so fucking wild?? they're like 2 years apart, and tim is extremely competent, he wouldn't pass out mid patrol because he forgot his coffee.

7. Bruce Wayne doesn't believe people can change and doesn't care about Crime Alley.

For the first one, please fucking read a single comic book. Just one. Better yet, maybe research why batman doesn't kill. You know, the most popular thing about him? As for the second, it's mostly just a way to show how jason is better than bruce and how he's right to take over the alley since no one cares about it. Now I LOVE jason todd. He's my favourite comic book character of all time tied with gambit and Dr. Strange. But I hate it when you create angst or comeuppance by blatantly ignoring the chatacter and their motives. Bruce became batman so that what happened to his parents can never happen again, and this includes helping the poor people in crime alley either through patrolling there or by setting up countless charities to improve life there. You can make the case that batman avoided crime alley after jason died. It's not canon, but it would make sense. However, I dont see him ever giving up on the alley, both to prevent what happened to his parents, and to help people like his dead son. I fucking hate bruce, he's done a lot of shitty things, but making shit up just to make him worse is getting old.

8. Misc

There aren't really enough mischaracterisations about cass and babs to warrant separate paragraphs, so I'll just reiterate the infantalisation of cass and babs having no qualities outside of oracle, master hacker, and dick grayson's on and off lover.

[ryiju-muunie]

Boyfriends Brother (200 follower special)

18+ viewer discretion is advised

fem!reader/Suguru Geto Warnings: infidelity, shower sex, p in v sex, creampie, exhibitionism, masturbation, semi public masturbation [someones in the room and they're unaware], finger sucking, standing up sex, Geto is hung its canon, tattooed!Suguru Geto, perverted!Suguru Geto Word count: 3129 DESC: You like the thrill of almost getting caught with your boyfriends brother

This is what won the poll and I took some very creative liberties when writing :3

You were always attracted to Suguru. In some weird way, you found him more attractive than his brother, the brother you were dating. You met your boyfriend a few months prior in a bar, nothing special. The two of you hit it off and began to date. But he never made you feel anything like this. Sure, he was conventionally attractive, but you never lusted after him. You never felt a surge pulsate between your thighs when he was near, and you sure as hell never got wet off of his voice alone. Not to mention, your boyfriend was kind of a dick. He drank a lot, looked at other women a lot, and objectified you a lot. Yeah sure, you hit it off, but you felt trapped after the five-month mark. You didn’t have any desire to stay with him and he couldn’t care less, you were his personal maid and fuck toy. Suguru was different than him. 

You first met him at a party your boyfriend forced you to go to. He smacked your ass and crudely announced, “This is the hot piece of ass I was telling you about, Guru!” Your boyfriend's brother stared at him blankly for a moment, before turning his eyes to you. They were naturally sultry and narrowed to take in your form. He took in your uncomfortable smile and tensed shoulders, and he sighed. A hand ran up to mess with his hair, undoing it from its bun. You watched as his neck tattoo and ear gauges got covered by his thick black hair, cascading onto his shoulders in a choppy fashion. 

“It’s very nice to meet you,” Suguru extended his hand and took yours without hesitation. You saw instantly how much bigger he was than you. His height towered over your frame and your hand was engulfed by his own. Even though he was practically huge, he shook your hand delicately. As if you’d break with one rough touch. 

Something took over your body and you turned to your boyfriend, to look at him with innocent eyes, “Baby, can you get me a soda?” You’d never been the devious type or even the type to consider cheating. But something new crossed your mind. You didn’t think about sleeping with him like that, although you did note how utterly ethereal he was. He was perfect, down to every mole or the crook in his nose. 

Your boyfriend rolled his eyes in a way you knew wasn’t teasing and walked off, to find the bar top to get you two a drink. Once he was gone you felt yourself relax, your shoulders drooping and a breath escaping your lips. You went to apologize for his behavior, but at the same time you spoke so did Suguru, stating the same thing. He paused mid-way and blinked once, “...Why are you sorry? He’s my brother, I should be apologizing for his upbringing… lack thereof.” The raven-haired male crossed his arms in an annoyed way that made you let out a faint giggle. He was right, your boyfriend had horrible manners. At first, it too made you laugh, but then it became an embarrassing pain. Your heart thumped loudly against your chest and made your ribs tighten, not to mention you felt that familiar pang in your legs. Over a joke? Really?? Well, he was hot, and he acknowledged your boyfriend's abhorrent behavior. That was truly hard to find for you. Someone who was on your side. Someone who saw you. God, it was hot. You were never the cheating type, always becoming toxically loyal to your partners. But there was something about him. You found yourself attracted to him. That’s when your small crush began on Suguru. 

Obviously, you started to see him more and more. It was like your boyfriend had been hiding his more attractive brother from you for the first few weeks, but now you couldn’t get rid of him. Over the next few weeks, he frequented your boyfriend's apartment, and then your shared apartment when you moved in. He’d always make small talk with you, and more importantly, make you feel seen. It wasn’t just one thing to feel attracted to him, you actually liked being around him. He was funny and sensitive; All of it was making your crush ten times worse. The crush was originally mainly and only surface level, but soon you imagined what it would be like to wake up with him next to you instead of your boyfriend. You imagined running your hands through his hair and wishing him a good morning. Kissing his eyelids until he groggily looked at you, before smiling. Your fantasies would always start wholesome, then turn dirty within seconds. You wanted him to worship your body and fuck you senseless, making you stand as you took his big, filthy, cock. He had to be large, there was no way he wasn’t. Just from the sheer size of his body, you knew he was packing. You wanted him to C-hook your mouth with his index finger, slamming down your throat and making you choke on it as you came. 

You blinked a few times and took yourself out of the vivid fantasy, making your underwear stick to your folds. Suguru was at your apartment, playing video games with his brother. They sat at the foot of the bed while you watched from your desk, while you were supposed to be doing homework. You couldn’t focus, looking at Suguru’s chiseled back and his mop of hair. They were in front of you, so they didn’t see your hand snake down the front of your shorts, which were just your boyfriend's grey boxers. Your fingers brushed against your clothed clit, against your sopping panties. You inhaled quietly and bit back a moan at the sensitive sensation. You had never been this bad before, to fuck yourself to Suguru with him in the same room as you. Normally, it would be late at night or in the shower. But now … you felt so desperate to get off. You held the back of your hand to your mouth and bit down, to stop small noises from escaping as you rubbed your pussy. 

“Goal!” Your boyfriend shouted, grinning at his brother, “Bet you can’t beat that, Guru!” Suguru went to speak, turning his head, but his eyes locked with yours. Just as you came, seeing your eyes flutter to the back of your head. He stared for a moment before shoving his brother's head and replying with a standard response you didn’t hear. You were too busy, filling with dread. He just saw you fuck yourself and he just saw you orgasm. What’s worse, is he saw you weren’t staring at your boyfriend either. You were staring at your boyfriend's brother. It was over, you were going to be outed as the perverted soul you truly were. No one had ever made you debate stealing their clothes and touching yourself to the smell of them. Not even your boyfriend.

Suguru got up and cleared his throat, “Is it okay if I shower? I’m feeling a bit greasy,” he looked over at you and then winked. He … winked. You felt your heart squeeze and your hand pulled itself out from your underwear, two fingers glistening from your wetness in the low light. Your boyfriend nodded and his brother walked back to the door, passing by you. He leaned over your frame and grabbed your hand by the wrist, letting his fingers engulf it. He smelled purely of nice cologne; Mixing with the air, it made you feel hazy. Maybe he wasn’t exactly as straight-laced as you had anticipated. And maybe when he saw your display he realized he had a chance. That’s what you hoped for. 

Your legs slowly clenched together, squeezing as he brought your hand up to his mouth. “Spread them, pretty girl,” he mumbled, eyeing your slicked fingers with a lustrous stare. You bit back a whimper and spread your fingers apart. Suguru brought your wet middle finger into his mouth and inserted it, closing his lips around your knuckle. He started sucking, closing his eyes, and groaning softly at the taste. You could see he was already hard and you could see him have to restrain himself from taking you then right there. It turned you on, for the fact your boyfriend was right in front of you two none the wiser. All he knew was you were doing homework and his brother was showering. But you weren’t doing your homework and Suguru wasn’t showering. He was busy licking up and down your middle finger, drinking up your holy liquids like it was a prayer. He finally pulled back, leaving a trail of saliva from the bottom of his lip to your fingertip. He let go of your wrist and used that hand to signal you to follow him silently, making sure your boyfriend didn’t notice. 

You stood up instantly, following him quietly. At that moment, you cut any romantic ties you had with your boyfriend. You felt nothing but contempt for him, keeping you trapped in a relationship based on the promises he always took back. At that moment, you were completely and utterly done. You didn’t need your boyfriend anymore when you had a real man who could ravish and please you, romantically and sexually. The two of you made the quick walk to the bathroom connected to the master bedroom, letting the door faintly close behind the both of you. In seconds his hands were on your hips, tracing them lightly with his fingers. Even his dirty touches were polite as if he didn’t want to break you.

“Fuck… I’ve wanted this so bad,” Suguru practically moaned, “He doesn’t deserve you. He can’t please you like I can,” his hands slowly trailed down until they grazed your ass. His large palms smoothed your skin and then squeezed, just to hear you gasp and feel you shudder.

“Suguru…” You whined against his touch, pouting your bottom lip when he kept squeezing your ass cheeks, “This is so.. Wr-” You couldn’t continue your sentence, as his lips found yours and pulled you into a heated kiss. The air felt so heavy and thick between the two of you, with your bodies pressed together in pure harmony. His mouth sucked and cradled yours, making you try your hardest to keep up. Suguru was such a skilled kisser, he was making it a bit hard. You whimpered into the kiss and pressed your hands onto his back, digging your nails into his shirt.

“Fuck right or wrong,” he breathed against your open mouth, as you attempted to find his own again, “No one deserves you. Not him,” his lips brushed against your temples, “Not even me…” With that, he was kissing you again, hungrier. He needed you so badly it was causing him physical pain. His hands were now trailing inside your shirt, undoing your bra. He needed you out of these useless clothes and he needed that now. Suguru was straining against his tight pants to just be inside of you, for any kind of release. Fuck… your mouth would’ve felt so good if he just let your plush lips wrap around his cock. 

“Hey, Guru??” You both heard your boyfriend shout. As quickly as Suguru was kissing and holding you, he was pushing you into the shower and closing the curtain. You fell against the tile wall and hissed at the sensation, pushing yourself up. You heard the door open and your boyfriend asked, “Yo, where’s the gf? I wanted a sandwich.”

“I think she said one of her friends invited her out. She’ll be back later,” Suguru lied, straight-faced and through his teeth. How could he do that to his brother and not look the littlest bit guilty? I mean, he was a piece of shit so he didn’t feel too bad. But this was still wrong. Oh so wrong.

“Oh,” you heard him reply a bit deflated, “Do you mind if I shave then? I was growing out the beard but I don’t think it’s a look.” You heard Suguru reply with a hearty laugh and then the door closed. You looked down at your clothes and began to strip, pushing them to the side of the shower. You could always pick them up later and put them in the washing machine, he’d never know. First, came your shirt and bra, then your shorts and panties. You heard a bit of shuffling behind the curtain and the raven-haired male stepped into the shower, avoiding opening the curtain too much. He gave you a sly grin and began to take off his own clothes. It was hot, seeing him remove his shirt and looking at the ink lining his skin. Dragons, snakes, spiders, webs, anything you could think of he probably had on his chest and arms. You couldn’t resist and one of your hands touched the snake in the shape of a heart along his bicep. His skin was so silky and smooth, you could’ve cum then and there. He looked over at you with a different expression, almost a deer in headlights. A small blush spread from his temples down to the apples of his cheeks, and a genuine smile appeared on his mouth. The one where his eyes crinkled and closed. 

“You know, I think she’s gonna leave you if you only call her the gf instead of her name,” Suguru called out, tossing his clothes over the curtain. Without giving his brother a chance to respond, he turned on the water to one of the hottest settings. You let out a faint gasp and felt as he pushed you up against the wall, pressing his mouth to yours. You didn’t even get a chance to look at his dick! You bit back a loud moan and kissed him back, as water pelted both of your fronts. Two burly hands pressed your wrists on either side of your head, forcing you to endure the passion from his mouth. It turned you on in a way that felt like a fire was brewing inside of your core, burning and building, waiting for more stimulation. His hands would feel better than your own and you both knew it. Just like how your mouth could satiate his own burning craving for a release.

“Yeah, right,” you could almost hear your boyfriend roll his eyes. But his voice was fading in and out of your hearing, half from the shower water and half from his brother sucking against your bottom lip. “She couldn’t leave me if she tried. My dicks too good.” Speak of the devil, you felt Suguru’s cock rub against your thigh. You didn’t take the time to even check if it was okay, pulling away and putting your hand against his cock, positioning it at your entrance. He watched you with half-lidded eyes, before biting his bottom lip. You felt so warm and wet, basically being asked to be defiled. 

“Yeah, you fuck her soooo good,” Suguru replied as he thrust into your pussy, biting back a groan and shuddering at the sensation of you clenching around him. He was big and he didn’t give you time to adjust as he began to fuck you, deep and slow, making sure to press his balls against your cunt, pulling out, then slamming back in. You gasped and pushed your head back against the tile, rocking your hips to the sensation. “I wonder if she’d like me more,” he spoke as if he wasn’t balls deep in your wetness. Suguru grabbed one of your legs and slowly began to lift it up to his hip, wrapping it around him. It was all to get the better angle to fuck you even deeper. You deserved the best he could ever give.

“Wh… why do you say that?” You heard your boyfriend sound a bit … jealous as he continued, “She’s with me for a reason, dude.” You went to open your mouth to whisper something to the man fucking you dumb, but his tip touched your heavenly spot. He was hitting every curve and ridge correctly, fucking you like a princess. To him, you deserved the best fucking he could give, even if he was forced to be quiet. He didn’t want you to be quiet at all, he wanted you to cry as you came every time. But these circumstances were a bit strange, even though the thrill turned you on. You could be caught at any second and completely outed as a perverted cheating creep, but you hadn’t been caught yet. That’s what made your stomach tingle every time he fucked his leaking cock into you.

“Just a hunch,” Suguru mumbled, letting a groan slip out. You arched your back as you felt his penis rub against you in a way you fucking loved, feeling yourself getting closer to the edge. He used his free hand to stick his fingers in your mouth, making you choke on how long and large they were. You grinned and sucked on them as if your climax depended on it, which it felt as though it did. You were so close and this was so hot, and he wasn’t stopping his thrusts for anything. He was just so hot. Nothing had ever turned you on this much in your life. Typically the only thing that felt good was the orgasm with your boyfriend, but everything felt good with Geto. Your mouth hung open and your tongue writhed around his fingers, whimpering as you finally came. You were too loud at that point, but you both didn’t care. He fucked your wetness right back into your battered cunt, making you feel all the more sensitive as you road your high and clenched your walls around his cock. You heard some rustling behind you and then felt his thrusts reach their peak, pumping ropes of cum into your abused pussy. Suguru let out a moan as he did so, again being way too loud. He didn’t stop, thrusting again and cumming even more. 

You were so sensitive you were about to orgasm again, but you paused. Maybe he was too loud, or the smell of your sex was overpowering, but you saw the shower curtain shift. One of your hands went to tap Suguru but another orgasm took hold of you and instead of words coming out, a loud moan did. Shit. Suguru froze and heard the curtain fully open behind him and you both felt the shower stop. It was silent as you stared face to face with your now ex-boyfriend. 

“I can ex-” You began but he cut you off.

“...Get out.”

[cosmic-ghost-hermit]

What animal do you most resemble and why?

So just so yall know before you go to your piles. The animals in the pictures might not be the creature that you most resemble. I am using the Untamed Spirit Animal Oracle in this reading. Please take what resonates and leave the rest behind but always be open to new perspectives about yourself.

_________

PILE ONE

Astrology: Pisces, Sagittarius, Aries

Song: all i ever wanted by Mazie

Vibes: 🖤💙🔭✈️🕷🦋🕶🎓🐾🌏🌊🫐🍙🧊🎧♟🦽💎⛏🛋📘✒️💤♿️🔊♠️🏁

Cards: Lion, 5 of Cups, 7 of Wands, The Void, Karmic Relationships

Hi, pile 1! Welcome. These cards tell me you look most like a lion. I can see some of you have prominent noses that make your face very lion-like. All of you have the most piercing fierce eyes. I also see you have soft hands and nice nails that you probably get done regularly. You are legit gorgeous and you have this extensive hair routine you do almost every day. You might wear a bonnet to sleep or you have a silk pillow case to protect it. I can also see you are surprised by these compliments. You have some self-esteem issues that frustrate you a lot. These beliefs you have about your physical appearance are built around the opinions of others. First off, they only shit on you cus they are jealous. These cards have a weird undertone of relationships so I think maybe you had a partner at one point who was SUUUUPER jealous of how beautiful you are. Wow, they are pressed about it. They probably said some extremely mean things to you about your appearance that stick with you even though it doesn't look like they are around you anymore. I hear them saying you have RBF or something. You have literally nothing to feel insecure about my dear.. Like you complimented yourself in the mirror around this person and they like immediately tried to knock you down a peg. Dude, that person is SO ENVIOUUS. Don't listen to their words. You need to see through their words to the true emotions behind them. Don't let these jealous people dim you light, girl!!! Their words are not based on reality. It is distorted by their emotions. Just know when they look in the mirror all they hear is their momma tellin them they're ugly as fuck. They were just projecting their insecurities, baby.

PILE TWO

Astrology: Taurus, Leo, Aquarius

Song: Body Talks by The Struts, Kesha

Vibes: 💛🧡❤️💙🎁🧿💰🌅🏖🚦🚚🚎🎯🎭🏅🍹🫐🍂🌊🌈🌏🍁🐠🫂🤖🥶😰

Cards: Badger, 7 of Pentacles, 5 of Wands, The Seven Star Sisters, Jump In

Hey there, pile 2!! You have such an interesting energy. The animal you most resemble is the Badger. So from what I'm reading from the other cards this is less of a physical resemblance and more of an attitude resemblance. The way you hold yourself is like you do not give a fuck what anyone thinks about you. You had many people around you growing up who were considered "conventionally attractive" and for a long time, this bothered you. I think sometimes it does still bother you but you have grown your self-esteem a lot since you were little. You got tired of fighting for attention real quick. You realized how dumb the competition of appearance is and began to explore your expression more for fun rather than to fit in. You have a unique way of expressing yourself, especially with your make-up. Dark eye shadow is your signature look. It makes your already really unique eye color pop like nothing else. You dress very alternatively compared to your siblings and/or friends. The style does have a touch of whimsicalness to it too. I see some of the people who picked this pile have a curvy body type. You keep your hair short for the most part because it's easier to manage while short. You truly have such a fantastic head-turning style. I really do love your energy, my dear. Like, wow you are fucking awesome. I would have looked at you as a kid and wanted to look like you so bad.

PILE THREE

Astrology: Scorpio, Libra, Gemini

Song: The Middle by Jimmy Eats World

Vibes: 🤍🖤🔎🖋🧷📓🩺🔬🔌📷📼🎥🎹🎼🎤🎧🎬🌪🐚🪨🐇🕊🦢🐈‍⬛🕸����👟

Cards: Toad, Fox, 8 of Swords, 2 of Wands, Double Mission, Deep Cellular Healing

Oh, pile 3. This is gonna be a kind of shadow work-y kind of reading so just be prepared to be called out okay? Trigger warning for SA. You make yourself ugly on purpose. You hid your beauty from yourself. I dunno exactly what you do to hide it from others but I see you wearing clothes that keep your shape a secret. You do your make-up in a way that accentuates the dark cycles under your eyes. You make yourself look sick and dying. You force yourself to believe you resemble a Toad. I don't blame you, my friend. You went through something truly terrible that made you feel ugly so you express it outwardly constantly. You believe you are ugly because of what happened. What they did to you didn't taint your beauty, homie. You aren't dirty. You aren't hideous or unattractive naturally. You are so scared of what happened, happening again. It makes you put up these defenses in-order to feel safe. My friend you are already safe without these defenses. You might be doing way more harm than good, my friend. If you stopped hiding your true beauty from yourself, you would more resemble a Fox. These cards are encouraging you to heal from what happened to you mentally. Your reaction to what happened isn't wrong but you shouldn't destroy yourself because of how others treated you. You are stunning and so naturally gorgeous. I hear you saying that your feelings about what happened don't matter. That is a lie you tell yourself. That is a lie someone else told you. What happened to you was truly awful. What they did to you was disgusting but it doesn't make you disgusting. It makes THEM disgusting. What THEY did is disgusting. You are beautiful. You are so drop-dead, star-struck glamorous! You aren't a toad. You are a fox. Please embrace your authenticity because you deserve to feel good. You deserve to see your body for what it truly is.

PILE FOUR

Astrology: Cancer, Capricorn, Virgo

Song: Honey And The Bee by Owl City

Vibes: 🤍💖💛🦦😜👄☀️👟🐁👙👑🎂🐱🐻‍❄️🌙🦭🌸🌼🍣🍰⚾️🎗🎟🎲📿

Cards: Otter, Queen of Cups, The Well, A New Earth, Called

Pile 4. You are so fucking cute. Like so cute. Like I feel your energy and all I feel and think is "Awwww~ What a cuuutie!". You most resemble an Otter. Which in my opinion, ARE SO FUCKING CUTE!!! I see you like to color your hair in pastel colors and it's SUUUPER long. Like you have been growing out your hair for a while now. You have this cute little button nose and these super pretty dark eyes. Ohmygods you have no idea how much I think brown eyes are the prettiest eyes. You put a lot of creativity in your outfits so you always look so snatched and dolled up. You like the long flowy dresses and shirts that billow in the wind. They make you look like a fairy. You always smell like incense and sea salt. You probably love swimming or surfing or some kind of sport you play in the water so you are very lean. I see you might be pursuing some kind of profession in the beauty industry. Either that or you just look like a model and people think you are one. You wear these pretty flowers in your hair that give you this gorgeous halo of lavender. You have been absolutely blessed by Lady Aphrodite. She loves you like her child. She blesses you with fashion sense and soft features.

[damnfandomproblems]

Fandom Problem #5635:

Every time someone's like "this female character is well written and not conventionally attractive" the entire internet needs to respond with "but my waifus"

Shut the fuck up and let weird and ugly female characters exist. They're not gonna kill Samus and Bayonetta and 2B and Chun Li.

[datura-tea]

okey dokey! i just finished the fallout show! some Thoughts under the read more

tl:dr, the (bethesda) fallout vibes were definitely there. i liked it as a show on its own merits but as a part of the series canon... i'm mad, and that anger is kind of overriding the little i liked about it. overall maybe 2.5/5 stars and im being generous

things i liked:

visually, it's stunning - i could see scenes already being made into gifsets - the color grading is pretty good; even in dark scenes i could see and understand what was happening

the sets are soooo good!! costume design was alright too

title cards were fun and cute

they did some interesting stuff with the cultures of both vault 33 and the brotherhood of steel

they used the sound effects from the games :)

i liked the wastelanders!!! big npc and random encounter energy. i kind of want a whole show of just them. for example i love the marketplace and settlement in filly; it feels very lived in

the background characters weren't just young thin able-bodied conventionally attractive white people :) there's so many elders, which i loved!! ma june and barv were cool. i love gruff old lesbians

lucy!!! she was already kind of weird and a little off-putting even in vault 33 ("what's your sperm count" as an opener to the husband she was just arranged married to is WILD) and i like that. she's sweet and bullheaded and surprisingly competent :)

maximus is kind of an ass, but is also a pathetic nerd and brotherhood dickrider who actually doesn't really know anything. kind of a girlfailure

the ghoul was pretty cool too!! i liked him, though more for his prewar story than the one he has post-apocalypse

lucy's brother norman kinda grew on me. "i lack enthusiasm for every job that i do here" so relateable. also short king <3

THE DENTIST THAT BUYS TEETH. never thought that would be a Thing but now that i think about it, it makes sense

the monsters that we have were cool!! wish there had been more of them

MATT BERRY IS IN THIS!! i just really like him so i got excited :))

maximus and lucy's "wanna have sex?" talk LMAO

vault 4's various mutations!!

those giant unwieldy fuckass duffel bags that brotherhood squires lug around hahahhahahaaha

vault 4 and its genetic experiments because its main conceit is that it was ruled by scientists who hybridized humans. it's exactly the right amount of fucked up i want in a vault

i like that the protagonists regularly get captured and eat shit

FRED ARMISEN IS ALSO HERE

haha hacking minigame :) also chatting via terminals (and im assuming pipboys?) is canon now

they're growing crops in the wasteland + bustling trade + livestock + pets yay

robobrain was cute

things i was just ok with:

dane, the they/them brotherhood of steel aspirant who was fucked over so maximus can get their spot as a squire LMAO what a waste of a potentially cool character

IT'S SO FUNNY that there's yodelling whenever the ghoul comes into the scene ????? WHY

fight scenes.... pretty good but someone definitely had the bloody mess perk (i don't do well with gore so ew yucky). also lots of [VATS NOISE]

pipboy was not used as much as i thought it would be

cousin stuff... i get it, i guess in a vault you'd have a lot of cousins and not a lot of choice, so some incest would probably happen

the ghoul being vault boy's inspiration?? not sure what to feel about that tbh

the casual dismemberments... and equally casual attaching of limbs... not even prosthetic limbs.....

the vaulties eating good healthy well-balanced meals. giving out caviar in the welcome basket. kinda 50/50 on it

the vault 31 - 32 - 33 subplot couldve been more fucked up

have brotherhood knights always been celibate or did i miss the memo

there are regular chickens and... deer? for some reason?

the ghoul's design. it's fine in action but mostly it's meh

the vault 4 cult for moldaver

vault 4 as a refuge for shady sands survivors. im mad about it but like. i get it

that guys "elixir" (some altered jet??) fixing everything about thaddeus' foot instantenously AND GIVING HIM HEALING POWERS???

things i did not like:

lucy's plot premise is very much fallout 3 redux

lucy and maximus as a ship is very meh and kind of forced and not compelling. go give us nothing!!!

wilzig's head as a macguffin that everyone is after... ehh kind of just okay as a plot device

also the ghoul randomly eating that other ghoul???

the squire who bullied maximus calls himself fat but he isn't fat?? not even chubby??? hello????? just got a soft face

water chip being fucked feels very fallout 3 also but they kind of dropped it?

they definitely named cooper howard after todd. as tribute probably, which he doesn't deserve

fiend = cannibal now?????

maximus recognizing vault 4 as a cult but not recognizing the brotherhood as one lol

vault tec evil capitalism vs hollywood communists storyline was kind of basic. and bland. and weak

the enclave could've been established + explored better

no geckos or any other west coast-specific monsters

showing me ncr ranger armor when the ncr is gone

ghouls have healing powers?? WITHOUT RADIATION??

things i hated hated hated:

the ghoul needing drugs to combat the Disease That Turns Ghouls Feral

feral ghouls being basically zombies :/

IN EPISODE FIVE. THEY REVEAL. THAT SHADY SANDS. WAS BOMBED. THE ENTIRE NCR. WAS BOMBED. IN 2277. THE YEAR OF THE FIRST BATTLE OF HOOVER DAM

BASICALLY RETCONNED FNV?? IM PUTTING MY EARS IN MY FINGERS AND GOING LA LA LAAAAA

VAULT-TEC DROPPED THE BOMBS ???? BIG MT + MR HOUSE BEING IN ON IT????

THE BIG STUPID FUCKING REVEAL IN EPISODE EIGHT?? THAT THE OVERSEER BOMBED SHADY SANDS BECAUSE HIS WIFE DIDN'T WANT TO GO HOME WITH HIM??? FUCK THAT???

the brotherhood being the main faction of the west coast now. booo!! booo!!!!

the fucking last shot of new vegas being a burnt out husk. probably foreshadowing that hank is going to house's body but. UGH I HATE IT

to summarize: it came out strong! and stumbled hard falling face fucking first at the finish line. i would have liked it a lot more if it did not shit on the west coast as much as it did. because what the FUCK. if it was set literally anywhere else and left the ncr alone i would have liked it more, because on its own, as a self-contained story, divorced from the rest of the fallout series canon, it's not bad!!! it's fun, there's some good bits, it has the ~vibes~ but - and this is a big but - i don't know what it's trying to say. it's all very surface level and the very vague themes i picked up on are not really reiterated in the plot

it's like... the bits that make it fallout are there. vaults. the brotherhood. ghouls. a dog named dogmeat. but there's something lacking. it's like your usual sci-fi post-apocalypse show with a fallout veneer. idk. i like it for what it is but also i hate it for what it's emblematic of. that's all

[prettyboypistol]

I'm not sure if requests are open so if not feel free to delete this ask! Can you do the mercs realizing they're into men because of the reader?

Of course! By the way, this is my 100th post! lucky lucky Anon! This goes out to all of the rest of my followers! Thank you for all the support and followers! I'll always look at your messages and write for TF2! I couldn't be here without all of you! Thank you for letting me be the weird gay man who likes writing about old gay men kissing! -PrinceThomas :>

Tf2 Mercs x M!Reader || Gay Awakening! +18

Scout

Super in denial at first, compares you to actors he likes or thinks are hot and kinda shelves it. Is MAD jealous that you just somehow look great no matter what (to him hehe)

Realizes he has a crush on you when his usual spank bank material of girls isn't really doing it for him anymore. It's 4am, he's tired and horny and a little drunk... his mind just wandered, okay?!

Daydreamer 100%, but his feelings for you and his feelings for Miss Pauling kinda fuck him up ngl?? Is he a homo or not?? I mean, he likes boobs and lipstick and girls, but the rough and tumbled grease in your stubble just gets him rarin in a way girls didn't.

Bisexual struggles fr. Assuming that you're a Stonewall riot supporter, he'd probably try to roundabout ask if he can experiment with you.

What really set you apart from the other mercs is that you just look good compared to them! Yeah, there are some conventionally attractive guys, but you're h o t.

Soldier

Soldier, like Scout, assumed his attraction to you was something more akin to respect or friendliness. I mean, no other soldier he's ever met sacrificed himself to save him! That takes guts! Yeah, you respawned after, but the honor was still there for him.

Develops or at least tries to develop a friendship like what he with Demoman. He might come off like a very determined puppy, but you know he means well.

Uses you as someone to compare others too. (Ex. "SCOUT! THAT WAS HORRENDOUS TECHNIQUE! TAKE A LOOK AT THAT FINE MAN OVER THERE! DETERMINED! STRONG! TAKE NOTES, PRINCESS!")

When he does realize it's love, he is upfront and honest about his feelings with you. After all, if Jane did like men, he could find more powerful army and recreate that unbeatable ancient army of homosexuals!

Asks around about romance, probably interrogates Medic about how to court another man because let's be honest Medic looks gay as he'll and I will die on the hill that every merc just assumes that man is queer.

Pyro

In Pyroland, you're a prince on a unicorn. You're straight out of a fairy tale. They're overjoyed to have a prince in Pyroland rather than just babies! Yeah, it's fun to be childish, but a whimsical joy that are more complex are fun too!

Absolutely follows you around and talks about you to Engie non-stop. Engie jokes that Pyro might have a crush on you and they seriously consider it. They realize you're attractive when you do a party trick of spitting out Bug spray and lighting it on fire, making it look like you breathe fire.

As you cough and retch at the lingering taste of bug repellant in your mouth, Pyro applauds your trick and keeps trying to talk to you. They eventually are able to communicate to you, asking if you have any more fire tricks. You show them that you can twirl a pencil between all your fingers when the eraser tip is lit up like a candle.

You can kind of tell that they like you romantically, but you're not sure how to tell them that you know. A few chats with Engie tells you all you need to know: Pyro has never pursued a romantic interest, Pyro likes you, and that you can probably get their attention with an honest conversation.

Demoman

The most casual about their realization that they like you- and men in general. Just a peek at you in the showers after a particularly clutch victory caused a few rather dirty thoughts. It wasn't that big of a deal to him and kept his attitude of a drunken "Well, a hole's a hole, I bet he's tight."

Probably offers a little bit of fun after a long night of party, definitely a lot more drunk than usual as he leans a tad too close for friendship. That deep, gravelly, and warm voice growled in your ear with an open offer to join him in his room that night.

If you joined, he wouldn't remember the night and regret that he forgot the night in the morning when you and him snuggle awake. If you decline it's no harm no foul.

One of those types of guys who actually can balance his feelings for you along with his friendship- he keeps the ball in your court and stayed professionally friendly, maybe a tad brotherly competitive.

Heavy

This man is an iron wall to hide his feelings. He had the idea that he just wasn't the type to want a relationship- which was fine, more time to work to keep his family safe- but then you jumped out into danger to protect him. He was on the brink of death and you selflessly risked your life for him! Yeah, you both respawned, but it was the gesture that mattered!

His eyes trailed you a lot more often, like a security camera. He pretended to be read his book, but he knew exactly where you were. Medic is the first to notice this change.

Medic asks about Heavy's feelings for you, since Heavy had never ordered Medic to go heal anyone else before! Hell, the both of you tended to stay behind Heavy during battles after that, so you two had a sense of closeness.

When you all went out on a trip to the beach, Heavy loved watching you in the water, and even allowed himself to be dragged in by you to play water polo with Soldier and Demoman. He's a long game of chess, hopefully you can win him over!

Is a bit more protective of you out of battle, but that's something only the people he threatens is aware of.

Engie

Oh fucking god holy shit what the hell man's fucking gay PANICS. DELL IS HEARTSTOPPINGLY FROZEN IN FEAR WHEN HE REALIZES THAT HE LIKES MEN.

All you did was scale a chainlink fence with ease, albeit with a small growling as the metal dug into your fingers. Dell swallowed the feeling thickly. He didn't mean to stare at your ass, really! It just sorta... happened.

And then it happened again as he kneeled to construct a sentry. Then when he was sat down at the kitchen table as you walked by. The only time he didn't catch a glance was when you turned to him with a smug look and a "if you wanna look at my ass, you could just ask."

He knows a lot of gay cowboy culture, but was far too scared to go ahead with a few of the gestures. Although, you weren't as shy, giving him a grey handkerchief when he spillied oil on himself.(translation: grey handkerchief=bondage kink)

Finally- FINALLY! He offers you his hat on a very hot day with his head looking straight at the ground.(translation: if a cowboy puts his hat on your head, y'all fucking)

Sniper

In the top 3 of "chillest reactions to realizing he likes men", but barely on the podium yk?

Mick was doing some target practice and had lost track of time, his pot of coffee and snack pile had been long empty. Right as he was about to get up to stretch his legs, he saw you on the last rung to the ladder of his nest. "Oh hey Snipes! You missed lunch and dinner, 'decided to check in on our favorite sharpshooter." When you stay for a few moments and hand him the bottles of water and leftovers from dinner, he realized that nobody made him feel that loved.

You just being kind sends him into a "did he do that to hit on me? Does he do this to everyone?" Yeah he panics about everything you do, but not because you're a man- it's because a crush is a crush to him!

Sniper does genuinely try to show interest, but in a subtle way like inviting you out to take a smoke break, target practice, maybe offer to let you join him to survivalist camp for a few days.

Spy

Silver medalist of the chill reaction podium, mainly because he laments to himself about all the potential money he had lost by not seducing more men in his more freelance espionage days. He could have hooked up with Saxton Hale to swindle that oaf out of millions- if he had thought of that.

Does a full background and thorough investigation into your personal life, how you reacted to the huge news event of Stonewall, if you had ever hooked up with a man, anything to see if he had a chance to sneak into your dating pool.

He treats you a lot like how he treats the women he seduces, but has to overcome how you brush him off casually like a man. Women were a language Spy speant years studying, so much so that he seldom kept up with the more masculine way of communicating.

At his wit's end, he just asks you bluntly. "Listen, I find you hot. I've been trying to get into your pants for almost 2 months now, do you want to have sex?"

Medic

This man already knew he was gay before you pulled up, sorry. BUT BUT BUT you are the first crush he's had! Yeah, he knew he liked the idealized version of a man he made up in his head, but you are better than the fictional men in books!

Despite the stereotype for Medic, he didn't fall for you when he saw you on his operating table. You and Engie were theorycrafting about hypothetical cybernetic enhancements. Engie had said something biologically inaccurate about the immune system, and before Medic could interrupt your private conversation, you corrected Engie! Not in a demeaning way, but in a way that clearly showed that you had a love for biological science. Medic's heart skipped a beat.

Constantly offering you new enhancements for your body and coddles you about painful proedures (he actually gives you anathesia! How sweet!) and sends his experimental ideas to you for a betaread over. For Medic, that's essentially a confession in and of itself!

Has written your name in little hearts on his note margins and uses you as his anatomy sketch references when he needs to visualize the human skeleton.

[rescue-ram]

Hawkahy opinion: I don't think Hawkeye has a priest kink.

Obviously a big reason people would be into shipping the priest is because they're titillated by the concept of priestfucking more broadly, and of all the weird stuff people project onto their blorbos a benign and relatively common fetish is fucking nothing lol.

But tbh it does scan as kind of out of character to me. Like I just don't buy that Hawkeye would be into priest fucking, and if anything I think it would be a bit of a turn off.

When I was first mulling on this, I was kind of like "Well maybe he'd be turned on by the priest thing not because of the priesthood specifically but just the general naughtiness of breaking taboos..." but then I realized that Hawkeye almost never expressed genuine sexual interest in anyone who isn't a conventionally attractive, single, and uncomplicatedly sexually available woman- and the few times it is complicated he's legitimately squicked out and put off. I just think of he was going to be turned on by the idea of breaking vows he'd be into adultery at least as much as Margaret is lmao.

Plus, he's not Catholic, he wasn't raised Catholic, we have no reason to think he was even raised in a "high church" liturgical Protestant tradition. How and why would he have the life experiences to form the associations that make up a priestkink?

Hawkeye likes Mulcahy and respects him, but I think that has 0% to do with him being a priest. Mulcahy could be literally anything but if he conducted himself and related to Hawkeye in more or less the same way, I think he'd still like him just as much.

I will say that I think on both a Watsonian and Doylist level, the fact that Mulcahy is a priest frees him up to flirt with Hawkeye in a way that's a little different from other characters. Generally, Hawkeye flirting with men is treated as a joke in itself, but there still needs to be a little "no homo" at the end of it. This usually comes in an annoyed rebuff or outrage, or the joke being ignored and not commented upon. If the person flirts back, it has to be very obviously a joke. With Mulcahy, any flirting at all is a joke because of the implied taboo of the priesthood- the characters and the audience both know this ain't going anywhere. There is a different quality to their flirtation, because they don't have to immediately defuse the joke, so there's several scenes I can think of that have a warm or sincere vibe, where Hawkeye's teasing is a little gentler than normal and Mulcahy seems genuinely amused or flattered.

But again, that vibe kind of hinges on nothing actually happening. I think if Mulcahy was genuinely interested, Hawkeye would be totally thrown off, and tbh I think he'd find sexual inexperience to be a turn off as well- his taste in women would suggest he prefers partners who are sexually confident. I don't imagine it would be a completely insurmountable difference, but I do see it as an obstacle for a hypothetical relationship to overcome rather than an incentive for it to exist.

But really, all of this is a preamble to my TedX talk on why "Hawkeye gets turned on by roleplay emphasizing Mulcahy's priesthood" is overshadowing the underrated high camp potential of "Mulcahy gets turned on by roleplaying being a frat boy with Hawkeye"-

[thecoolerliauditore]

Recently (A couple of months ago I just finished like a week ago) I decided to rewatch all of Scott and Pearl pov and idk why, but I'm getting yandere vibes from Scott and not Pearl. Like isnt it supposed to be the other way around???? Idk maybe it's just because in secret life Scott was more mad that Pearl didn't say "I love you" than Jimmy, and in double life when supposedly Pearl was a 'yandere' Cleo said "I have everything you want" which made Pearl confused for a second of what Cleo meant, until it hit Pearl that it was Scott and replied something like "Wait you think I want Scott?". That's really all I have rn, but idk I feel weird about it cuz Scott is gay.

This is why I'm here cause your the Scott expert, am I delusional or is this vibe no one is talking about?????? (Pls help)

First off being called the Scott expert is wild to me I think of myself at most as a grad student taking notes for my research paper studying his behaviour but this feeds my ego so keep going.

Anyway you are totally insane anon I totally don't agree.

Definitely have not made multiple posts in the past basing my analysis of Scott's character on him being weird about Pearl.

Definitely have not had other ppl in the past happy to hear they're not insane for seeing it too.

Or addressed it feeling illegal to acknowledge this aspect of Scott's character.

don't look under the cut haha nothing is down there

HE'S CRAZY HE'S FUCKING CRAZY HE'S INSANE HE'S THE WORST HE'S LITERALLY THE WORST THE WORSTTTTT THE WORST MAN ON EARTHHHHH UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

LL they were like. Very affectionate but it was just cute to me (I think I was watching with a friend and even remarked that they acted like siblings at one point. oh how naive). Like yay they're besties! Double Life was when I was like. Oh something's. Something's strange here.

The way Scott automatically slaps the "ex-girlfriend" title on Pearl despite that not being true. The way Scott is the one constantly using romantic terms to refer to her while Pearl never does the same for him. The fact that Pearl explicitly said she "felt like (she was) being broken up with" which means she didn't see their relationship as romantic.

Also that's an insane thing for Cleo to say ?? I don't remember this but that's. That sucks. That sucks so bad. If you can give me the episode/timestamp I would thank you forever.

She literally didn't see him in that way anon she literally never did. It was never about forcing Scott to be her boyfriend/soulmate/etc it was about being abandoned and lacking closure. <-- my totally correct opinion.

Maybe slight side note but I really need to study the way people use "yandere" when referring to Pearl because as a weeb and a former yandere enjoyer it's. idk. fascinating to me. The culture I mean. Because the life series fandom is relatively less weeby than what I'm accustomed to I think "yandere" is like. slotted in as a sillier way to say toxic/obsessive female love interest And because at least in fanon Pearl kind of fits the description for your standard yandere which is conventionally attractive weirdgirl but Evil!!!!

And there's like. Something about that and the way like you mentioned if anything it's Scott who possesses more yandere tropes i.e. referring to Pearl as his (ex) girlfriend without her knowledge/consent, fishing for affection from her and even killing her friends.

Just FYI I wouldn't personally consider Scott a yandere and I would definitely do a double take if I saw someone referring to him as one in the wild. But I do think it being completely unacknowledged by fandom is interesting not only as a byproduct of the"scott can do nothing wrong" fanon but also as a reflection of how the yandere trope is approached In General when applied to male characters. I remember there being like a fairly big discussion back in the day within the anime community regarding male yanderes and how they weren't as enjoyable/iconic as their female counterparts because they were "too real" -- lots to unpack there, very fun for me specifically. That sounded sarcastic in text somehow but I'm serious I find that super interesting.

(side side note getting this ask made me really happy. I love that people agree with my opinions whoaaaa. )

[mdhwrites]

Did Luz ever believed that she could save Belos?

I think the bigger question is whether or not Luz ever CONSIDERED that she could save Belos.

Remember, in the first episode, she shoves a pack of fireworks directly into a dude's mouth. She sicks the cubes against the crunch publisher and then just leaves. She lets Willow do whatever she wants to the monster hunters. She straight up leaves Tibbles to be eaten by his miniature pets now that they're full size. Etc. etc. Luz is not exactly someone who seems to even question what she should do to an enemy, let alone their humanity versus her own.

This isn't even a complaint about her but just kind of a fact. I don't mind that she doesn't care about her villains. It admittedly places her mindset more on the axis of the Isles which actually isn't great for her ever disagreeing with them. It's why stuff like her clearing out Eda's cheat box honestly feels weird because her morality in general is pretty close to gray but she is clearly framed as morally better than the majority of the Isles, especially early on. It's just... Not really true by her actions. Remember, by episode three she's already sneaking out for her own self glory and on mass lying to get into the school she wants and only one of those required any pushing from others to do.

It also makes the jabs at SU kind of weird because like... The show never cared about its villains before now. The fact that they're not dead is mostly because Luz just leaves them to other people or can't kill them. She's just not that sort of protagonist. I mean, she fucking branded Belos back in King's Tide as a way to make sure everyone with a brand didn't die... Which you know, kind of means HE'S going to die. She literally uses his life as a trump card to get him to do as she wants. It's part of why people laud that moment as Luz being clever because even if the way she does it is bullshit, the idea is sound.

The ONLY exceptions to this are Amity and Hunter but... Only kind of. In the episodes where they are true antagonists, she has no way to actually fight back against them, ending up leaving both unscathed as she has to use trickery or just run for it. Then they're not primary antagonists but instead people in tension with Luz which is different. Luz is shown their humanity and suddenly gives them a chance. Why is a good question and uh... The fact that of her villains, these are the only two conventionally attractive, white people who she might want to date is NOT GREAT. To put it mildly. Especially when in their third proper episode together, Luz is stating that she'll befriend Amity explicitly as part of fulfilling narrative tropes. And if you want to say Kikimora disproves this: She doesn't. Luz explicitly helps Kikimora to prove a selfish point. If she wasn't freaking out about her own family, she'd have likely left Kiki to rot. It's not like she exactly ever tries again with the little demon after all.

No, for the VAST majority of villains, you fuck with Luz, Luz will fuck your shit up. It's honestly weird that it takes Luz so long during Winging it Like Witches to decide to go the violent route on Boscha, which I just assume is so she doesn't end up back in detention or expelled. Or because she thinks Boscha can and will kick her ass if she tries something like that on her own. But yeah, Luz isn't some sort of cinnamon roll. In fact, I think a lot of people's interpretations of Luz are much more based on what her archtype appears to be than what her actual character is (myself included while I was writing fanfic for the show). She's introduced as the quirky, nice girl in the first episode and she's not SUPER far away from it, that is the closest to an archtype she has besides just kind of morally questionable teenager, if she has really any archtype or structural base to her character. You know, besides audience surrogate and thus kind of bland and non-committal in order to serve that.

She has a couple interests but 99% of the time can keep them reigned in. Sure she knows what fanfic is but that just means she spends literally anytime online/with fandom. Her energy is cute but very erratic for it showing up... At all. Her kindness is extremely limited and she honestly just isn't that quirky. She has one series she supposedly obsesses about but quotes at most half a dozen times in the show which makes it more a character quirk than a defining characteristic.

It's kind of part of why Luz doesn't grow because the series seems to spend a LOT of time trying to figure out what Luz is. Is she a morally questionable teenager? Is she an excitable goof? Is she the moral center or the one having to learn morals? And yes, a character can absolutely serve several roles and be flexible. I think she actually does that well in the first half of the series where she shifts a bit for the sake of other characters' stories, which is one option for your main character. You know, before her narrative role changes and they get a VERY firm idea of who she is siiiiiiiigh but it's still weird with how they did it.

It makes so much of what we're told and what people latch onto end up feeling contradictory. As an example: Her being bullied. We only get maybe three moments in the entire series that even hint at her having any sort of bad experience with other people, let alone kids her own age. It informs nothing about how she behaves or her character. She could have just been a normal kid most people left alone and nothing would change. So this element, that so many agree universally on, is just... Almost purely fanon and the moments it comes up in canon are really awkward and just don't make much sense with literally EVERYTHING ELSE she does.

It makes her getting a shapeshifter as her palisman ironically make a lot of sense. Her character has always just been what's convenient for the writers and what others project on her. A lot of her canon character just isn't used a lot. Instead, people opt for what the fandom says about her.

And that version might have considered saving Belos. Might have thought taking a life actually mattered. But canon Luz is just worried about becoming the bad guy. That this is the start of her villain arc, not that she is finally having to murder someone. Just that her justifications might make people say she's like the villain in her story.

Because canon Luz never considered if Belos should live. Not from the second it inconvenienced her back in Hollow Mind. Earlier with what he did to Eda if you want to be REALLY generous, even though she never acts on what Belos did to Eda. She only becomes a revolutionary once she can't have magic cloak because of it.

Almost like Luz isn't the morally good person that the show told us she was. She's just a selfish teenager which can be a lot of fun, so long as you own up to that being your character. Shame TOH never did.

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As a note: This blog is actually a LARGE part of why I stopped really being able to write Luz. I literally had a moment writing this one off where I went "Luz wouldn't do this. This is too nice and understanding." It was ROUGH. And what sucks is that with the morality around her, at least when characters are still interesting, her being a nice, caring person is the best dynamic for her. It just... Isn't actually her dynamic and that's rough.

Also that story is from a year and a half ago. Just... Man I wish my brain would unhook from this show already. *sigh*

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[creepy-old-memes]

genuinely thrilled that this blog exists. like i don't know WHY so many people take issue with this ship. fiction is fiction, who gives a shit?

no, ACTUAL teenage girls shouldn't be out frolicking around with weird, creepy, middle aged men, but lydia deetz is not a real teenage girl and beetlejuice is not a real creepy old guy. also they're literally so couple "coded" anyway like. basically canon regardless, shut the fuck up (not you <3)

anyways ily and i love ur blog, thank u for the safe space to ship the weird goth girl and her weirdo smelly boyfriend

aww thanks anon <3

AND EXACTLY like of course I wouldn’t condone a 30 something and a teen dating in real life THATS CRAZY and fucking gross!

But that’s not what I’m doing it’s teen x immortal being which hello?! Reaaaallllly common trope, seen it a million times but what? Because he’s not conventionally attractive and doesn’t look the same age it’s bad™? I’m sorry but wasn’t there a million dollar franchise about a 100 yr old vampire falling for a teen girl?

I just don’t get the disconnect people have that one is morally evil and the other is totally fine?? And I’m not even saying so therefore you have to like it or have no issue I’m saying just chill out, it’s really not that deep, let people do their own thing, and the world sucks, having silly enjoyment like this shouldn’t be causing people to get this angry and writing DNI on EVERYTHING it’s just goofy.

So in short, enjoy the memes it’s time we make shitposts

[pumpumdemsugah]

Sorry but when women make a big deal about being attracted to men that aren't conventionally attractive, especially when they're sloppy looking, it feels so empty and performative

Like they're trying to prove ' look look women aren't shallow bitches ' it feels like a weird form of propaganda to convince other women their pussy is wrong. Women already ignore all their instincts when it comes to picking male partners, why encourage more nonsense?

Are you or aren't you attracted to that man ?

It feels so deeply artificial compared to how women act about Jason Samoa. Like a weird form of virtue signalling

Women that want to fuck men they know other people find ugly, don't care about making up stupid ass terms like the female gaze ( it's stupid because no one knows what the male gaze is to use the female gaze the way it gets used ) to justify why they're horny. They're horny and that man does it for them

[melonteee]

I just think they didn't do Sanji's eyebrows cause they couldn't make it work with the hairstyle they wanted, every Sanji actor looks like a cosplayer, which is not a bad thing when it comes to like live performances on stage or at theme parks, but they're SO clearly wearing wigs LMAO they do not look like "real" people that would exist since that hair (wig) is not natural looking at all (and we all know that Sanji would look wacky with both brows showing, that's why he NEVER shows them in the manga), Netflix is clearly going for realism and Sanji has "realistic" hair which is kinda ironic since One Piece and realism don't really go hand in hand but lol Netflix ¯l_(ツ)_l¯

This same goes for Usopp's nose too, but they have literally NO excuse for removing Sanji's little "beard", that shit should've stayed on since it IS one of the most realistic parts of his design lol but again it's fucking Netflix

Also hot(?) take: I think Oda just designed Sanji to have eyebrows like the spiral in narutomaki cause he found it funny, I think he added the Germa stuff to it later (I think he had a lot of Sanji's story planned out from the get go but judging from his comments he decided Sanji would have siblings much later so I think he also just added more meaning to the brows later)

Anon you cannoooot say "it's just unrealistic looking, all the other Sanjis wear obvious wigs" when Nami and Zoro are wearing the most obvious wigs ever. It has nothing to do with realism, Zoro's hair is bright green for god's sake. If a cosplayer on a $15 budget can add the literal key trait of Sanji's design, Netflix could've found a way to do it on a million dollar budget - possibly even with a more natural look!

I'm not going to lie I'm extremely sick of these excuses that everyone is just making up FOR Netflix, like can we just be in agreement it was honestly disappointing and lazy to remove a physical feature a LOT of people recognise Sanji for. A feature that is so easy to add. You can be excited for it while also going "Wow, that kinda sucks!"

Removing a feature of a character that he's literally recognised for in canon universe, that he gets nick names for and pointed at for MULTIPLE times, is just an extremely disappointing move by Netflix - especially considering it is currently story relevant in the original property right now. They just wanted to make him a conventionally attractive man without any of the design choices that actually make him stand out.

Sanji's eyebrows are also literally meant to be weird, if they look uncanny then that's kind of literally the point. It's why he gets made fun of for them.

Once again, this has nothing to do with the actors at all. They do not control their costumes lol.

Also my hot take here is, if you want to make a show with physical realism, why in the world would you EVER pick one piece to adapt for that 😭

[rollercoasterwords]

I’m omw to beat up the poacher that called remus ugly. I’m gonna hit him w hammers

lmaooooo sorry but he is. kinda ugly in this one 🤧 2 most. like average person would see him and have a reaction like "oh he's kinda weird looking." forgettably ugly 2 like 90% of the population but unbearably attractive 2 sirius black--and even the guy who's devastatingly into him is still not describing him as handsome; he also describes him as odd-looking, features that are uneven + jumbled, etc.

obviously everyone can visualize characters however they want but! me personally i am really not into like. hotness lmao. i think it's the dykery but i'm just not usually into like a-list celebrity/instagram-model pretty people. like sure they're pretty to look at sometimes but they simply do not inspire the same carnal lust in me as like....a butch dyke with a dad bod or some twiggy alien looking freak. and i think this sometimes confuses people when i talk abt it bc in my mind the scale of like ugly <--> hot/pretty and unattractive <--> attractive r 2 separate scales--i think of ugliness and prettiness/hotness as measures sculpted by mainstream beauty standards rather than a reflection of my own personal taste, bc how ugly/pretty u are based on those mainstream beauty standards does materially affect ur life. so like even if i think a conventionally ugly person is super attractive, me calling them beautiful doesn't mean that's how they r actually gonna be perceived + treated by society. but then i'll be like oh yeah that person's kinda ugly (<- wants 2 fuck them) and ppl will be like >:o !!!! so obviously i do just abide by convention when appropriate lol

anyway all that is 2 say i am not really into any of the celebrity fancasts/hotification of the marauders etc lmao the only character who i can see as being 'conventionally attractive' is sirius tbh. so in this story i have very intentionally written + described remus as being kind of ugly. bc i needed 2 make him as sexy as possible....poacher was being rude abt it but he honestly was not wrong...

[lucaswarmhotchocolate]

regarding my previous post I'm trying to flesh out this odd crossover plot bunny a bit more, and I think it would be interesting if harry and Voldemort both got sent to hell and became residents of the hotel.

Harry because he does Not want to be in hell and also he has a Saving People Thing and wants to help others redeem themselves. Voldemort would probably just want to stay close to the most powerful souls he can, and ofc that means hanging around the place with the king and princess of hell, and a collection of rather powerful and influential sinners. now you may be asking, "Lucas why the fuck would Voldemort decide to hang out around people in power why wouldn't he just try to Become the people in power and kill some overlords?" and to that I say; Voldemort is a smart man. he is capable of learning and growing. I think he can realize that the past 60 years of his life since his first year in Hogwarts were just so full of mistakes it makes him cringe. he will take this weird after-life in hell and make better choices!! not morally better choices, but definitely strategically better ones. also I think it would piss him off so much that as a sinner he can't leave the pride ring, he is Not used to that kind of limitation and he hates it.

I think Harry and Voldemort would show up at the hotel and immediately realize who the fuck is there and it would not be pretty. Voldemort would probably have a harder time with self control now because that his soul is back together because it would be really unstable and also personality disorders don't just Leave when you die. like that's not a soul thing that's a mind thing. Anyways he would still want to reach his goals and learn more about hell, get closer with the people in power, etc., so he'd make an Attempt of not fighting harry but it would fail. I think Harry and Voldemort would instantly get into a fight because Harry just got to hell and he's pissed that after All That he is in the same place as the man he was born to go to war against. However, I think they'd get interrupted by charlie and vaggie pretty quickly and would remember that they're not here to fight each other. So they both check into the hotel, get to know everyone a bit, and Voldemort would soon realize "oh wait this kid does not want to kill me and he's actually pretty powerful and gets along really well with the princess, it would make more sense to be civil around him." So yeah, Voldemort becomes noticeably less antagonistic toward Harry, is a bit less reactive, and generally pisses harry the fuck off with this sudden personality change and Harry would make up for it by being More antagonistic and reactive and etc..

and of course you all expect the obligatory angel comment "lol when r u guys gonna get it over with and fuck" but did you expect that to be a Plot Point? No? That's because I didn't either but it makes so much sense. Angel makes One (1) Angel comment abt them fucking and Harry's mind shatters. He is broken from the inside out. He never registered that as an option. He never had the realization that he had a crush on Tom Riddle and he never made the realization that yeah, odd internal monologues about how scary and weirdly elegant and graceful and beautiful your enemy is Might mean that you have a bit of a crush even on the non-conventionally attractive physical form he has. That one comment would make him completely short-circuit and he would have an epiphany so great and devastating that it makes him freeze for a concerning amount of time before leaving to Immediately imagine fucking Voldemort. He wouldn't be seen for days and he wouldn't jack off a single time but he would be in a near-constant state of cold showers, denial, shame, and then acceptance. Harry and Voldemort would probably fuck pretty soon afterwards and blah blah blah. you get it.

I feel like the radioapple needs far less explanation, however I will probably need to think it through later as I have a deep-rooted Need to keep them as canon accurate as possible and not have alastor be ooc because I love his c. it's a very good c.