#tf2 pyro x reader

[prettyboypistol]

How to Seduce the TF2 Mercs

Scout

Pay attention to him. Give him genuine compliments and honest feedback. He wants to feel loved and like he's worth someone's time.

Kisses and physical affection. Mans thinks about the time you put your hand on his shoulder for weeks.

Just say you love him, man. He's been overlooked his whole life.

Soldier

Take him seriously- don't belittle him or make jokes about how he views the world. He knows he's a little crazy but he is genuinely trying his best to make the world a better place.

Defend him!!! If someone shit talks him, punch that motherfucker in the jaw!!

Honest discussions with you asking a lot of questions, take the time to get to know him and you'll have a defender for the rest of your life.

Pyro

Much like with Soldier, defend them and take the time to get to know them.

Gifts, gifts, gifts!!! Give them gifts!

Be a little flirty ;> don't baby them! Treat them like the adult they are!

Demoman

Bro just ask to fuck. He'll probably say yes.

He loves a bold mf that knows how to take what they want. Come on to him, buy him a drink, and ask if he's got any company for the night.

If you're going for something a little more long term, just remove the sleeping aspect. Just say you're interested in getting to know him you'll most likely get a date and see how things go.

Engineer

He's a sucker for practical use gifts (i.e. mechanical oil, a new wrench, etc) or sentimental gifts (photograph of you two, love letters)

Call him handsome! Call him pretty and a gentleman! Appeal to that cowboy energy and treat him all respectful like and you'll definitely catch his interest.

If you're not the type to do all that song and dance, go the opposite route. Stump him with a logistic problem and tease him about it. He'll nonstop think about you for months and bitch about you to his sentries.

Heavy

Mikhail likes hotheads and determined people, someone who's not afraid to fight if the situation comes to it.

Ask him about general things and slowburn that mf about nice conversations until you two can talk about personal things.

Ask him to help you clean your guns! Ask him weaponry questions about what would suit you better in the field!

Medic

GET THIS MAN SOME ORGANS. GET HIM SOME FUNDING!!!! get him a lil lovebirddddd

Take the time to get to know his birds and if the birds like you, Medic automatically likes you more.

Take an interest in his medical discoveries and his life! He's a prime yapper and wants to t a l k. That's why he never shuts up when doing surgery.

Spy

Romance him traditionally, to be honest. Keep it classy and court him like the romantic he is. Roses placed in his locker, prime dinners delivered to his door, BE A ROMANTIC ABOUT IT.

If you can't dance, ask him to teach you "for a mission" (He will know that you're the one behind all the flirtatious gestures bc he's SPY)

Butter up that man like he's a piece of toast. Handsome young man who captured your heart and holds it hostage. Classy gentleman that could get away with world domination with gorgeous eyes like that.

Sniper

Don't come on too strong, he's a bristly one. Be calm and casual. Hit him with that friends to lovers.

He's more of a tough nut to crack and insecure of if you actually like him, so be sure to flood his mind with ambiguous hints when you think you see signs of him showing interest in you.

To really seal yourself in his heart, spend a lot of quality time with him! Go camping, hunting, fishing, driving, anything that gets the both of you alone and quiet.

[lunatic-pudge]

Mercs Being Jealous

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(Requested by menenthusiast900069)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aight, so let's make a quick list of most to least jealous, just so you get an idea of my very bias beliefs, I am semi willing to debate this.

1.) Sniper

2.) Demo

3.) Scout

4.) Medic

5.) Pyro

6.) Soldier

7.) Engie

8.) Spy

9.) Heavy

Now, onto the headcanons!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scout:

-Such a jealous baby, he can't help it

-A lot of it comes from his insecurities and also being the youngest of eight. He's used to being "the runt" of the group, even with the mercs. So he feels like he has to compete with them for your affection, even if you two are dating

-Like, someone could stand just a little too close to you and he's already starting the side eyes

-Scout, chill, for real for real

-He will attach himself to you once the jealousy kicks in. Arms wrapped around you, nuzzling up against you, it's that inner dog in him

-He will get mouthy with whoever is causing the jealousy. Talks a lot of smack for someone who is built like a damn twig. So it goes from him loving on you, to you having to prevent a fight from happening. Yes, depending on who it is, he can win the fight, he's a mercenary afterall. But when it comes to guys who have a big build like Heavy, then you'll really need to stop him

Soldier:

-Isn't really the jealous type, surprisingly. I think it comes from an oblivious stand point. Like, you need to point it out that someone's flirting with you for him to get even an increment of jealousy

-He really feels like he has nothing to worry about (which he's right). He's more than confident that you're loyal to him cause he is with you

-I feel like when you do say someone is flirting with you, he isn't gonna be violent, moreso he will make a big name and shame thing out of it (he basically did that to Miss Pauling in the comics)

-Like, "Who do you think you are flirting with MY GIRL, maggot! You are a disgrace to this country! Now drop and give me 100!"

-But that don't mean he isn't ready to throw hands. Cause he will. Homie's down to break a few necks. But if you don't want him doing that then you're gonna have to remove him from the situation

Pyro:

-I feel like they're kinda like Solider is the more oblivious aspect, but not as much. Like, they can tell when someone's flirting with you, but whether they truly care or not is up for debate

-I don't really see Pyro as a violent type when jealous. Why waste their energy on someone so insignificant to them?

-If anything, Pyro will just resort to loving all over you, more than usual. All the while giving the offending person a death stare

-It's a very effective form of intimidation

-Cause think about it, are you gonna want to fight a person wearing a flame proof suit, that isn't speaking, and is just giving you the thousand yard stare? No, you wouldn't

Demoman:

-Poor baby can be quite insecure. I feel so bad for him

-Constantly worries about not being good enough. He's so used to being beat down by the people around him that he doesn't have good self-esteem

-He will stand nearby you, waiting for you to notice him, looking like a sad and lost puppy

-Once you finally notice him, you'll have to pry him open to find out what's wrong. He doesn't like burdening you with his problems so he tends to sit and stew about everything til he bursts

-He will need to to reassure him that you aren't going anywhere and that you love him. He needs a lot of verbal reassuring cause he's a worrying lad

Heavy:

-Heavy? Jealous? Where?

-While Scout, Demo, and Sniper might be the top three most jealous, Heavy, Engie, and Spy are the least jealous

-Heavy is this big, strong bear, why would you ever wanna settle for less? Like, frfr, you'd have to have an IQ less than an orange to stoop to such lengths

-But let's play along and say that he did get jealous. One of those very rare times it happens. He knows he doesn't have to do much to make the offender leave, all he has to do is stand there

-And stare.

-And stare..

-And stare...

-He's got that resting angry face so he just has to stand behind you and exist to make people leave you alone. It's kinda funny to think about it. He'll gently take your hand and leave after that

-Why be around people when you two can be locked away in a quite room with a good book?

Engineer:

-Again, not a jealous person. But he does have his moments sometimes

-He's a confident boy and knows you wouldn't do anything. Plus have you seen him? He's an intelligent man, got such a nice voice and accent, and can build a machine to keep you safe

-When he jealous, he's passive aggressive. He doesn't like to be hostile, especially so up front, so he'll do little things to help get his point across

(Would give examples but I'm not passive agressive, I'm just aggressive, oops)

-He'd come up to you, slide an arm around you, give you a kiss on the cheek, and say how he was looking for ya while side eyeing the offender

-THAT MAN COULD USE HIS VOICE TO SEDUCE YOU ALL OVER AGAIN, FIGHT ME

-Weirdly enough, I can see him as someone who will look into the offender, find all the person's info and hand it over to Medic, basically saying "Here's someone you can harvest organs from. Have fun, Pookie."

-Then Medic and Engie proceed to make out and get married. The end

Medic:

-Medic's an interesting fellow. I feel like he's like Pyro where it all depends on his mood. Somdays, he doesn't give a shit, and other days, HE'S FUMING

-He will NOT tolerate the disrespect  >:(

-Cue sassy Medic. This man will verbally murder a bitch and I'm here for it

-Will get "handsy" with you (he'll just throw himself on top of you, maybe even make you hold him bridal style if you're strong enough)

-Will be loving all over you while verbally berating the offender. Everything is getting called out. EVERYTHING. He wants to ensure his point is made

-Buuuut, this can also be a chance to score some fresh, new organs. He's always in the market for that stuff so he can easily kidnap the offender and harvest the goods. And no, you can't talk him out of it. Once his mind is made up, nothing can stop him

Sniper:

-Oh my poor baby boy. Where do I even begin with you?

-Sniper can't help but get so jealous so easily. He's never been one to have relationships with people so when he is in one, he gets so insecure at times

-Worries he's not good enough at times. He know he's a "quirky" individual, so he worries you'll want to be with someone who's more "normal"

-Will stand nearby, giving the offender dirty looks. They can feel the daggers that Sniper is giving them, it's enough to make them leave

-Afterwards, he'll pull you away from everyone and be all over you

-While Demo needs verbal reassurance, Sniper needs physical reassurance. So please love on him and tell him it's gonna be okay and that you love him and only him

-But I can also see him needing to prove that he's better than any guy through "fun" means (Medic would too but I forgot to add it. They both horny jealous people)

Spy:

-Again, not a jealous person, and rightfully so

-We all know how suave this man is. He can pull anyone and everyone without even trying

-But I'm sure even Spy has his own moments when he feels a slight bit of jealousy

- He'd be so pissy with the offender. Like, fuck you, pal. That's MY partner

-Welp, time to go over there and seduce you all over again, which isn't hard for him to do. He's got that magic in him, ya know? He;s a man who knows what words to say and what moves to make. He'd make the offender jealous that they couldn't be with Spy

[rabbittf2x]

Just curious...Each merc's response to an otherwise previously-professional party asking for a kiss ;)

I’m back from the dead😭🎉 so sorry I only do a max of two mercs nowadays so I wrote my faves😳💕

Pyro and Sniper When Reader Asks For a Kiss

Pyro💖

Pyro giggled and blushed under his mask. You wanted a kiss? From him? Omg! It was no secret that he had a big crush on you. He followed you around like a lovesick puppy! You were so beautiful and dreamy and cool to him.

Pyro clapped his hands excitedly before leaning in, pressing the nozzle of his gas mask to your lips. He stuck a leg up and clasped his palms together lovingly, letting out a muffled, mwah!

Sniper💖

When you asked the Sniper for a kiss, his eyes widened behind his sunglasses. He tried to subtly tip his hat over his face to hide his blush, but your adoring giggles proved no luck.

Sniper only got redder when you cooed and gawked over his apparent ‘cuteness’. He had never been called that before. Hearing it come from you though… meant something. He smiled bashfully, before gently pressing his lips to yours.

[crabonfire]

Hello! Could you do the mercs reactions to an S/O that picks them up bridal/princess style with ease? If you don’t want to that’s fine, either way I hope you have a nice day!

(Sorry if the English is bad, it’s not my first language)

S/O carrying mercs w ease

PLEASE this is so me I carry my friends a lot haha 🙏‼️

character: all mercs

note: it's okay bro, English ain't my first language either (non English speakers we 🆙️)

s/o body isn't mentioned but they are not skinny, they have muscle, you can imagine to be athletic, chubby, strong or buff, whatever!!

also this is shorter than most of my work I'm sorry,,, I hope its still good!!

reblogs are greatly appreciated!

warnings: none

♡Scout♡

• oh!

• honestly very embarrassed? cause he wanted to be the "strong" one. (LMFAOAOAOAOOAA)

• "I can walk, ya know."

"Scout, your injured..."

"...How are you so strong??"

"Hm? I wouldn't say I'm strong...your just pretty light."

"Oh."

• has mixed feelings about it. how. what. when did you learn to do this.

• does he think it's incredibly attractive? Yes. Is he jealous? YES???

like what..h...huh..

• he does end up loving it though, like, sets his envy and toxic masculinity aside because...its nice to be carried. Makes him feel safe.

• if the others tease him for being carried he gets embarrassed the first couple times and tells you to drop him. But then he learns to not give a fuck, because its so comforting when he lies his head on your chest as you carry him around.

"Yeah yeah, your all just jealous that I got somebody that'll hold me, ya sad fucks!" He'd snicker, melting in your arms.

♡Pyro♡

• wants to be carried by you all the time.

• so shocked the first time you swooped them up happily and swung them around bridal style, they were so happy. squealing and clapping, chuckling to themselves as you walk with them in your arms.

• also wow ur so strong!!!!!! my god

• sometimes, pi pretends to fall asleep while they cuddle with you, so in the end when it's time to sleep for tomorrow, you carry them in your arms while you both head to your room, tucking them in and then going in after them. They're awake, but it's just nice and comforting when you show such affection.

• thinks it's super cool. like ur so sweet and so strong and that's honestly so hot lkke I'm sorry hello

"Mmmfh mmfh.." [Hubba hubba..] They'd mutter, wrapping their hands around your neck as they swoon at you.

"Pff-"

♡Soldier♡

• uh...umm...uhhhdh...

• "..."

"Soldier? You okay? You're really quiet."

"...yes."

"Yea?"

"yes."

No. He is not.

His face is red, he keeps staring at you wide eyed as you carry him out of the battlefield with his broken leg. He's sweating profusely, but you think it's just because of the fight. It was not.

• It's the most attractive thing in the world to him when you show such strength, such will to be able to carry a burly man like him. Imagine how strong you are. That's, like...really cool.

• tells demoman about it with a red face and a shaky voice, and he has to pat his back with a laugh, telling him that you two are meant to be.

• maybe...you can carry him again...if...he's hurt...again..maybe.

hurts himself on "accident" so you can carry him.

"Jane, again? How'd you fall down the stairs twice?"

"THOSE STAIRS WERE NOT MADE BY TRUE AMERICAN HANDS, FOR THEY HAVE DENIED ME THE PRIVILIGE TO WALK!"

"...Okay."

He grins widely whenever you carry him bridal style, he's thankful his helmet hides a part of his face because he's flushed and staring at you the entire time. Bro is enamored. Bro finds you absolutely majestic. Bro finds you infinite.

♡Demo♡

• first time you carried him he was drunk, you carried him bridal style cause he was knocked out cold.

he awoke in the middle, seeing your majestic face as you carry him in the middle of the streets with a pout, trying to get back to base.

he thinks he's woken up in heaven, you look so cute.

Then he realizes he's being carried, he looks at his scrumpy in hand, then back to you, and just convinces himself this is a drunk dream he's having.

"...Wow...yer very strong... hic "

"Thank you Tavish."

The walk back is just him complimenting and gushing over you with a grin, drooling over you (literally it was a little gross)

"Yer so hot."

"?? Thank you Tavish?"

"So cool...I dunnae why yer datin' me..."

"Demo, don't say that."

"What?? It's true.. hic yer carryin' me thru the streets past midnight, I don't deserve ye."

You sigh, "You deserve me, don't talk like that okay?" The conversation continues sweetly.

When you two got back, he woke up and was still convinced it was a really sweet dream he had.

But then the second time you carried him wow okay this is real.

"Yer so strong. I never knew ye could do this."

"Haha, you've said that already Tav."

"Yeah...I know."

He's so?? Like?? Into it. It made something grow in him. Carry him like that? He'll do whatever you want.

♡Heavy♡

• WHAT

• WHAT DID YOUR PARENTS FEED YOU?

• what fucking protein powder do you chug to get this fucking strong bro

• do you deadlift 200? Huh? You..you bench 150? Fucking maniac

• he actually convinces himself that he's died and went to heaven the moment when you carry him out from the battlefield, dropping him over to the Medic to get healed. But he's stiff as a board, not responding to medics cry for help.

Even medic is a little shocked. A lot actually what the FUCK DID YOU EAT?

• he snaps out of it, continuing to shred people

• but after battle he walks up to you, with furrowed eyebrows and stiff hands.

"How did you carry me?"

"HUH?"

"In battle. I was hurt. You carried me. How?"

"Oh, uh...I don't know. It was a spur of the moment, I usually don't carry people."

"Spur of moment? You mean to say you don't do this?"

"No! That was my first time carrying anybody in a while."

"..."

"Heavy?"

"..Give me a moment."

He walks over to sit at the bench, hands in fists as he looks at the floor looking both proud and defeated. How the fuck.

• finds it attractive! Duh!!!!!

• having such a strong partner makes him have so proud and happy, talks about you to his family and swoons about your strength. Its so corny, he's fangirling.

♡Engie♡

• 😯😲🥴😊😍😏

• kiss him please.

• the fucking, expression on his face the moment you carried him up from his chair, placing him above your shoulder like a sack of potatoes and carrying him outside. Bros face was so red, bro transformed into the red power rangers.

• what the FUCK s/o.

•"D-Darlin' what are you doin'-"

"Engie you've been cooped up in that damn room too long, I'm taking you out."

Any merc walking by and watching gives him a thumbs up, muttering "nice." As they grin at him.

Genuinely questions how strong you are. He has a heavy, robotic arm so he's not a light man. (Plus he's chubbbyyy and I love him tummy and I wanna eat it mmm yummmm!! sorry ill stop)

wow s/o that's so rude you can't just carry him without asking like that (please please do this more often he's so into it)

The strength you have is such a mood booster? Like Heavy he gushes over you with strangers and friends like you're a Greek god.

• also feels comforted to be held bridal style like haha wow yes please

♡Medic♡

• I don't even have to tell you because you know what I'm gonna say

• of course he's into it.

• enamored, gushing, swooning, fangirling, screaming, hitting the wall, dying

• carrying him as he's half asleep from his medbay to his room woke him up, staring at you with wide eyes and a grin, his cheeks flushed a bit red as he laughs. "Mein gott, your strong!"

• bro is not a twink I get physically sick when people call him one, so if you can carry him that it quite impressive.

• idk how to write this without making it sound like he's thirsting over u I'm sorry um... he just really likes it and finds your strength an admirable trait about you.

Makes you carry heavy things and uses the excuse that he's too weak to carry jt himself so he can watch your muscles do they thing 😭🙏

♡Sniper♡

• oh. okay.

• yeah. mhm. cool.

• it's like he's fallen for you all over again

• he's quiet, hands awkwardly lying on his own lap as you carry him bridal style, smiling to yourself. His hat is covering his face fortunately for him, so you can't see his shy smile and his pink cheeks.

"Cmon Snipes, we gotta go out its a good day today!"

"Yeah sure. Whatever..."

Like demo, carry him like that he's gonna say yes to anything you tell him. He's honestly not paying attention.

• I feel like all these men are really into the strength of a person, especially snipes. Not only is it an admirable thing to have, but like I said, it's attractive. Does not like to be carried like a sack of potatoes but if you ever carry him bridal style or in a holding position he's gonna melt. Whatever bad mood he's had will slowly fade.

You'd carry him infront of you, a worried expression on your face. "What's wrong mundy? You seem so upset today." With that doting voice of yours...his heart feels like its going to explode, his bad mood lifted, he smiles at you with a sigh. "Nothin'. Just missed you."

♡Spy♡

• yeah

• dude idk what u expect he's a lanky man so of course when his partner carries him he's gonna be swooned

• top 10 ways to swoon the spy:

1. Carry the spy

• works like a charm, if he's being a tease or a little bitch all you gotta do is carry him, arms holding his hips with a smile on your face and he'll fold.

• first time you carried him he couldn't face you for the whole day, he found it the most attractive thing in the world but at the same time oh boy for once he's the flustered one.

• "I did not know you had such strength."

"Hah, I don't even need to use any of my strength. Your built like a stick, Spy."

"Fifth grader insults, that's low, especially for you Mon amour."

[demoman-kisser420]

Cuddling headcanons for the mercs <3

(All nine❤️)

Medic

This man loves to hold you istg he will just hold you to his chest and play with your hair as yall fall asleep

Sniper

Definitely a spooning guy if yall are sleeping in his van there's limited space and he's just adapted to sleeping on his side

Heavy

This man LOVES holding you like you will sleep on him he wraps his arms around you and reads as you fall asleep on him

Demoman

This man Definitely will just rest his head on your chest as he falls asleep he likes when you pet him slighty

Soldier

Definitely like demoman but also likes to protect you so he likes it either way he won't fall asleep before you at all like his brain won't let him

Engineer

Loves spooning and he will rub your thighs or back before you guys go to sleep also wouldn't be apposed to sleeping in between you thighs

Pyro

They love to hold you as you sleep like they won't let go at all the mask comes off during sleep they like when you trace there burn scars (I'm going off the unofficial pyro face by valve)

Scout

This man loves you laying on his chest it makes him feel confident that he can protect you he will play with your hair till you fall asleep

Spy

He's a romantic guy so really he wants you to lay on his chest but he also like spooning he's always gonna be the big spoon btw he wispers French as yall fall asleep

(I think I'm getting better but If you spot some spelling mistakes I'm sorry)

[fatfuckingcatstuff]

Fuck it, two asks in a row 💫cose i can💫

How about mercs (ur choice bestie) x reader whos a climber, full out monkey mode

Heavy is basicly a jungle gym and hes not the only one to suffer. There is a spider jumping around the walls on every map they play now. Holding to walls with no holds no problem and stuff.

(Climbers are so cool omfg)

I prefer platonic but if you get any nice ideas for romantic then go for it

Thx in advance even if you decide not to write this babe <3

~🫀

What's up shorty sure I can absolutely do that

ALL MERCS

oh what the absolute fuck

why can you do this how are you even able to do this when did you discover you could do this

Someone could be in the kitchen trying to grab a nice snack after a long day. Then from the corner of their eye they see their co worker hanging off the fucking ceiling munching away on a sandwich.

They lost something and can't find it? Boom it's taped onto the ceiling now haha.

Initially impressed by your skills yet still somewhat a little horrified.

Don't get him wrong, he's amazed at how you can just scale from wall to wall without falling. He's just scared he might catch you in a horrifying position late at night staring at him, or rather.. waiting to pounce from anywhere.. 😨😨

Scout

Guess whos going to exploit that skill of yours to annoy another merc!!

You guys are the annoying duo now. Teaming up every round, and absolutely demolishing the enemy team with your wack ass skill combos.

Soldier, Demoman, Pyro

Dear lord what the fuck even. No major reaction to it but are silently impressed at how you are able to stick to any surface.

Will get a little scare here and then everytime they catch you in positions you arent supposed to be in, like on the walls for example.

"Oh fucking 'ell mate."

"Mon dieu."

Sniper, Spy

Oh mein gott!

Impressed and would totally not try to implant spider dna into you. (SPIDERMAN REFERENCE!?!? 1!?2!2(#(#!#!#)

Would try to persuade you to let him experiment on you. Trying to see if he could enhance your skill even more, perhaps make you able to climb faster and extend your endurance.

Medic

Oh that's awesome sauce. Would gladly let you swing around them due to their bigger bodies. Making it the perfect jungle gym for you. Anyone who walked by would be a little dumbfounded to see a big guy have their co worker swing here and there from their arms as they did their usual jobs.

Loves to watch you perform any tricks you have up your sleeve. Though a little worried you might lose your grip one day, fall and hit your head.

Engineer, Heavy

[wisteriaiswriting]

Mercs as Parents Headcanons

Words: 2379

Jeremy either takes after his mother and is the absolute top tier caretaker, or just like Spy and can’t do shit for you.

He doesn’t even realize how many skills he has picked up from his Ma growing up.

Will spoil you with everything he can get his hands on. (Tries his best to make sure you don’t grow up similarly to how he did.)

Every chance he gets he’ll bring you along to meet his Ma and brothers, so your Grandma and uncles, alongside any cousins that come along.

Really enjoys going on morning jogs with you, but if that isn’t your thing he’ll play some baseball with you.

***

If he was being honest, cooking wasn’t one of his favourite activities. But if and whenever you asked he never minded, actually excited to do this for you. Reminding him of his Ma, which led him to messaging her for recipes to use in the future, helping him for today's breakfast.

Looking many times at the pancake recipe sent over from her, they were basic buttermilk but there were plenty of toppings stashed away. He managed to get a decent pile finished before another merc entered the kitchen, not needing to turn to know who it was.

“THERE'S THE SMELL OF A CLASSIC AMERICAN BREAKFAST!”

“Yeah, yeah, there ya go pal.”

Reaching over to the plate to grab the top pancakes, ignoring the heat to throw them right at Soldier. Who caught them, cramming the first one into his mouth while tearing the other one apart to give to his raccoons. When it was finished the group of them rushed out, leaving Scout and you together again.

Within minutes the rest of the batter was cooked, the stack of pancakes were separated onto two plates. Sliding them across the table, meaning you had to grab both so they wouldn’t go sliding off. While he dug through the pantry, grabbing any types of syrups and toppings he could find.

Walking back over to you and letting everything drop onto the table, sitting down himself before reaching for the sugar.

“Eat up, don’t want any of ‘em going to waste. Ma would’a whooped any of us kids for wastin’ that!”

Guess you’re American now. Solly will not listen, and doesn’t really care what you say about it.

Keep him away from the kitchen, he cannot make the simplest of meals that are not MRE’s.

Just because he gave you the title of Sergeant doesn’t mean he’ll go easy on you in training, if anything he has you train harder.

Is very quick to get you ‘matching’ uniforms. (He claims it’s a Sergeant’s uniform but there’s really no difference.)

Will gladly get you your own raccoon. (Likely you’ll have to name it as he’ll give it the dumbest and most American name.)

***

The lot of you had just finished eatting dinner, allowing everyone to go off and do whatever they wanted. Which meant Soldier had gone somewhere doing something, either way at the moment you didn’t care what he was doing.

Until a loud, constant knocking started on your door, continuing ‘til you opened the door, finding the very man standing there all proud. In his, now scratched up and bleeding arms was a very unhappy raccoon. It was throwing itself around, screaming or whatever noise raccoons made.

Lieutenant Bites scampered around his feet, screeching back at the one in his arms before rushing into your room.

“SERGEANT, MEET THE NEWEST RECRUIT, UH… What's your name?”

His shouting quieted down for a few seconds to ask it, not that it’ll actually answer him. Only letting go when he noticed something in its mouth, holding it closer to find a finger. Confused until you shouted at him.

“SOLLY, IT BIT OFF YOUR FINGER!”

“OH!”

Not caring as the raccoon ran off into your room as well, rushing to grab the finger and bring him all the way to Medic.

No one is really sure who is caring for who at this point, and you don’t think the two of you know either.

They’re constantly dedicating and giving you drawings and plushies whenever you need them or even just when they feel like it.

Very often visits Engineer about anything and everything really, not that he ever minds the company. (Engineer feels like a very proud grandpa everytime Pyro comes by.)

It’s much easier and better if Pyro doesn’t cook, although they can make any easy to eat / make meals, so you won't ever starve.

If anyone ever tries to mess with you, they’ll have to go through Pyro first.

***

Pyro wanted to colour with someone, and with Engineer busy they wandered around to find you. Their first stop was your room, but with no luck finding you they walked around until they reached the living area. About to launch themselves over when they noticed how you were sitting, hunched over with your head dropped into your hands.

A few seconds passed before they moved again, rushing out of the room all the way back to their own. Grabbing one of their many plushies before returning, slowly approaching you. The familiar sight of Pyro didn’t phase you, nor did them sitting next to you.

What did surprise you was a plushie pushed into your arms.

The soft animal shouldn’t have brought you to tears but it did, wrapping your arms around it while holding it closer to you. Pyro had already placed their colouring book and supplies down, quickly wrapping their arms around you to pull you closer. You felt the cold material of their mask gently sit on your head as a faint, muffled hum could be heard.

He knows he isn’t the ‘parently’ type of man, it definitely didn’t help that everyone else said the same thing.

If you don’t like him drinking he’ll try to slow down, he really does and means well, but considering him and his body it’s quite hard to do.

Whether you ask him or not, at some point he’ll start going on about anything that comes to his mind, which can range from simple Scottish myths and legends to past situations he’s been in.

Is quite reluctant to let you meet his mother at all. (Even if she bullies him, she knows him well. Realizing how much he cares for you, so she cuts you some slack, not Demo though.)

He doesn’t care one bit about where you’re from or what language you speak, he will teach you some Scottish slang, and even some of the language itself.

***

You weren’t sure if the timing of your death was good or not, but either way it meant you didn’t have to walk all the way back to base. Able to have all your weapons and other accessories put away before any of the others returned, expecting Scout to come rushing through the door.

Finding out why when the door opened, seeing Demo slumped on his shoulder, arm thrown aross Scout. Eagerly chatting away while the younger merc barely spoke back, until he saw you.

“Y/N, back already?”

At your name Demo stood on his own, only for a few seconds though, collapsing onto you while using his empty hand to ruffle your hair.

“Y/N, laddie! Did I ever finish tellin’ ye about the…” Taking a quick drink of his scrumpy, “The selkie I ran into, a bit ago?”

Out of all the mercs he actually knows the most due to caring for his sisters.

There are times he will baby you, so you’ll need to let him know when it’s going too far so he backs off.

Most nights, if not all, are spent with him reading you books and reciting russian legends. (If you don’t understand Russian, he’ll spend time trying to translate them for you.)

If he ever finds out you aren’t eating properly he’ll spend hours cooking meals for you everyday if needed. (Proudly makes his mother’s recipes.)

He’s another person who keeps a close eye on your during battles, and tries to keep you near him and Medic.

***

The room was filled with the smell of cooked meat and vegetables, you sat at the dining table while Heavy stood in the kitchen. Soon a bowl was placed infront of you before he walked away again, it was a clear liquid with chopped up meat,

“That is Ukha, soup with fish.” Looking up at him, still waiting for the oven to finish. “This is Shashlik,” When it finally did finish he pulled the tray out, dumping the meat onto two plates. “Meat served on sticks.”

“They’re not on sticks though?”

Laughing at your words, placing the full plates on the table before opening a box next to him, pulling out said sticks.

“Here, sent all the way from Siberia.” Taking the plates to stab multiple bits of meat onto them, sliding the finished meal over to you when he was done. “As I work, eat, you need to grow stronger.”

Dell is probably the best parental figure out of the nine of them.

He gives you all the petnames he can think of. (Alongside Pyro, who has become your new sibling.)

Allows you two to sit and spend time in his workshop while he’s working, but gave you special permission to stay in there without him. (Which is a huge privilege only given to one other person.)

He puts anything of yours at the top of his priority list.

Tries to keep a close eye on you during any fights, if possible he keeps you close to him or his sentry.

Lil extra here - He has given you and Pyro kinda matching petnames. You’re ‘Sugar’ while Pyro is ‘Honey.’

***

Dell was busy working on his next project, which neither you or Pyro currently cared about. Both of you were focused on your drawing, spending nearly half an hour switching colours, even starting over once before finally finishing.

Clapping their hands after standing up, you added your final details as Pyro caught Dell’s attention.

“What’s up Honey?” Pointing back to you as you walked over, holding the paper behind your back. “Sugar?”

Swiftly placing it into his hands, unable to see much of his reaction has his goggles covered his eyes. Soon after he pulled them off, letting you both see his teary eyes.

“Aren’t you two sweet as pie…” All three of you knew how sweet you were, considering your petnames. “C’mere…”

Welcoming you both over into his embrace, carefully placing the drawing safely behind him on his desk.

Special dove privileges, you swear he might also be one with the amount of time he spends cooing over you.

He takes extra care during your surgeries, promising not to mess with anything he doesn’t need to.

Speaking of surgeries, if you ever feel like assisting him in any he will gladly welcome you. (The others are kinda scared though.)

You and Heavy are at the top of his priority list, on and off the battlefield.

He is a massive hypocrite, because if you dare mess one meal he will be on your ass about it.

***

While he was focused on some work, Archimedes had managed to slip out of the infirmary. Not realizing until hours later, when calling out didn’t reveal the bird he rushed around trying to find her.

Eventually he realized she must’ve left the room so he had to go searching, and luckily he didn’t need to search for long. Turning a corner and nearly running into you,

“Ah, Y/N, zere is a small problem…”

“Missing Archimedes?” Holding out your arms as you spoke, “Cause she came looking for me.”

He paused for a few seconds, taking in the sight.

“Aren’t you two just adorable!”

It is petnames galore! At first he might seem embarrassed but quickly embraces them. (Main ones are Roo, Joey, Chick and just adding lil onto them.)

He actually had good (adoptive) parents, so he knows how to do most things.

Doesn’t mean to, but he’s a slight helicopter parent. Keeps you in his scope and all around view.

Will give you a key and free access to his camper van.

***

This man is another massive hypocrite, he makes sure you’re getting enough sleep, eating well and staying healthy. (If you bother him back enough, he will do the same alongside you.)

It wasn’t new to not see Sniper having meals with the team, opting to spend that time in his camper. So he normally came by before it started, but today he was a bit behind. Walking into the room towards the counter, grabbing his plate before making his way back out.

Walking behind you, lightly patting your head.

“Come on, Roo.”

He didn’t wait for you, walking out as you scrambled to grab everything. Finding him standing at the main door to go outside, continuing when you reached him. The walk to his camper was quick but it was a comfortable silence.

Which was cut short when you both got comfortable inside, filling the air with laughter and conversation.

You should feel lucky that Scout isn’t aware of the relation between him and Spy, otherwise there would be a real one sided competition.

Please give him a break, he’s old and is nowhere near good at parental things.

Constantly leaving you all types of gifts in your room whenever you either mention wanting something, or he thinks you might enjoy it.

Gives you every petname he can think of (English and French), and at this point you think he might’ve forgotten your name.

He definitely tries to teach you french, praising you if you pick it up quickly while holding conversations.

***

“Qu'est-ce que j'ai dit sur le fait de surveiller ses arrières?”

"Qu'il faut toujours être sur ses gardes..."

Spy was cut off by the sound of the door opening, looking over to find Scout standing in the doorway. He was clearly unprepared to find Spy in here, willingly talking to you much less.

“What's uh, going on here?”

"Nous pouvons dire qui est le meilleur enfant."

It took you a minute to realize what he was saying, and with a smug look from him it clicked. Sending you into a full blown laughter, while Scout was confused.

“What’s wrong with you two?”

***

"What did I say about watching your back?"

"You always have to be on your guard..."

"We can tell who the best child is."

[hypernova-writes]

Nova's Kinktober '24 Masterlist

[Hi my starlights! Here's a masterlist to make it easier for you all to find them!]

Day 1 - > Overstimulation with Scout

Day 2 -> Praise Kink with Spy

Day 3 -> Size Difference with Heavy

Day 4 -> Daddy Kink with Demoman

Day 5 -> BDSM with Spy

Day 6 -> First Time with Engineer

Day 7 -> Public Sex with Sniper

Day 8 -> Threesome with Heavy/Medic

Day 9 -> Phone Sex with Scout

Day 10 -> Mirror Sex with Spy

Day 11 -> Predator/Prey Kink with Sniper

Day 12 -> Sensory Play with Pyro

Day 13 -> Face sitting with Engineer

Day 14 -> Food Play with Soldier

Day 15 -> Deepthroating with Engineer

Day 16 -> Body Worshipping with Pyro

Day 17 -> Breathplay with Soldier

Day 18 -> Sex toys with Pyro

Day 19 -> Knifeplay with Spy/Sniper

Day 20 -> Orgasm Denial with Spy

Day 21 -> Breeding Kink with Heavy

Day 22 -> Voice Kink with Engineer

Day 23 -> Somnophilia with Scout

Day 24 -> Free Use with Demoman/Soldier

Day 25 -> Mutual Masturbation with Demoman

Day 26 -> Lactation Kink with Scout

Day 27 -> Pet Play with Engineer

Day 28 -> Aphrodisiacs with Medic

Day 29 -> Double Penetration with Scout/Sniper

Day 30 -> Cockwarming with Spy

Day 31 -> SURPRISE!~

Here's My Normal Masterlist!

[robin374]

TF2 MASTERLIST AND RULES

Rules:

NO: incest, suicide, adult x child (romantically), NSFW (I don't do it anymore)...

YES: Romantic, platonic, male x male, female x female, female x male, trans, gender neutral (I mostly write this)...

Just 3 or 4 characters, please :)

Masterlist

"Dont go please" || Sniper, Scout, Medic

Sniper with a S/O who doesn't mind his behaviour

Sniper with a S/O who's into skincare and fashion

Mercs reacting to a spider in their room || Engie, Scout, Sniper

Cuddling with Sniper

Mercs with a siren S/O || Sniper, Demo, Soldier

Mercs with a short S/O || Medic, Sniper

Mercs with a Spider-Person S/O || Medic, Demo, Scout, Sniper, Spy

Drunk confession to Sniper

Mercs with a S/O who gives gifts but hates receiving them

Sniper relationship headcanons

Mercs listening to their S/O rambling about their hyperfixation || Engie, Medic, Pyro, Sniper

Mercs with an energetic, loud and animal lover daughter || Heavy, Engie, Sniper

One Bed trope || Medic, Soldier, Sniper

Being Tag-Teamed by Spy and Sniper

Demo x Reader x Sniper

Interrogation gone wrong (NSFW) || Engie, Medic, Sniper, Spy

Aquarium date with Sniper

"Dont go please" Sniper, Scout, Medic x reader

Mercs reacting to a spider in their room || Engie, Scout, Sniper

Jealous Scout

Dancing with the mercs at a disco || Scout, Demo, Medic

Mercs with a Spider-Person S/O || Medic, Demo, Scout, Sniper, Spy

Mercs with a S/O who gives gifts but hates receiving them

One Bed trope || Scout, Demo, Engie

Scout with a Streamer/Youtuber S/O

Taking care of Scout || FemDom! Reader

S/O with ADHD || Scout, Medic, Soldier, Engie

Mercs reacting to a spider in their room || Engie, Scout, Sniper

Mercs walking you home while raining || Engie, Spy

Mercs with a S/O who gives gifts but hates receiving them

Mercs listening to their S/O rambling about their hyperfixation || Engie, Medic, Pyro, Sniper

Mercs with an energetic, loud and animal lover daughter || Heavy, Engie, Sniper

One Bed trope || Scout, Demo, Engie

Engie with a Male!S/O who's bad at math

Mercs reacting to their crush singing their fav song || Heavy, Medic, Engie

Interrogation gone wrong (NSFW) || Engie, Medic, Sniper, Spy

Engie x Male!Reader || NSFW

Lying in an interrogation || Engie, Spy, Medic

S/O with ADHD || Scout, Medic, Soldier, Engie

"Dont go please" Sniper, Scout, Medic x Reader

"I lost my vision" "They lost their vision" Medic x Reader

Dancing with the mercs at a disco || Scout, Demo, Medic

Mercs with a short S/O || Medic, Sniper

Mercs with a Spider-Person S/O || Medic, Demo, Scout, Sniper, Spy

Mercs with a S/O who gives gifts but hates receiving them

Mercs listening to their S/O rambling about their hyperfixation || Engie, Medic, Pyro, Sniper

One Bed trope || Medic, Soldier, Sniper

Mercs reacting to their crush singing their fav song || Heavy, Medic, Engie

Interrogation gone wrong (NSFW) || Engie, Medic, Sniper, Spy

Lying in an interrogation || Engie, Spy, Medic

The Violinist's Dance || Medic x Reader

S/O with ADHD || Scout, Medic, Soldier, Engie

Soldier flirting with Fem!Reader

Mercs with a siren S/O || Sniper, Demo, Soldier

One Bed trope || Medic, Soldier, Sniper

S/O with ADHD || Scout, Medic, Soldier, Engie

Mercs with a siren S/O || Sniper, Demo, Soldier

Dancing with the mercs at a disco || Scout, Demo, Medic

Mercs with a Spider-Person S/O || Medic, Demo, Scout, Sniper, Spy

One Bed trope || Scout, Demo, Engie

Demo x Reader x Sniper

Demoman with radio announcer/host S/O

Mercs with an energetic, loud and animal lover daughter || Heavy, Engie, Sniper

One Bed trope || Spy, Pyro, Heavy

Mercs reacting to their crush singing their fav song || Heavy, Medic, Engie

Mercs walking you home while raining || Engie, Spy

Mercs with a Spider-Person S/O || Medic, Demo, Scout, Sniper, Spy

One Bed trope || Spy, Pyro, Heavy

Being Tag-Teamed by Spy and Sniper

Interrogation gone wrong (NSFW) || Engie, Medic, Sniper, Spy

Lying in an interrogation || Engie, Spy, Medic

Mercs listening to their S/O rambling about their hyperfixation || Engie, Medic, Pyro, Sniper

One Bed trope || Spy, Pyro, Heavy

Miss Pauling with a chaotic S/O

Nothing Yet!!

[axelthegreat101]

Pls... Scout and pyro with a punk reader.... Pls... Pretty pls

okay, since you asked so nicely. This can be seen as platonic or romantic

Scout + Pyro with a punk reader

Them both when they first met you:

They both think you’re so cool

They both follow you around like lost puppies, complimenting you endlessly

Scout wants to be like you so bad

When you gave Scout an old leather jacket that you had he almost cried

He feels so cool in it and wears it pretty much everywhere

Brags about how cool you are to anyone who’ll listen

kiss this man and he faints on the spot

You gave Pyro an old pin with a skull on it and they wore it around the base for weeks.

best trio friendship / relationship ever

Sorry this is so short, but I'm working on a few other things so yeah. -Axel

[miintsprigz]

Hi again!! Was wonderin if ya could do some hcs of Scout, Pyro, Sniper, Engi, and Medic with a reader who loves to give and show them drawings they made, but gets pretty nervous when they watch them draw? If this isn't exactly yer cuppa tea or you just genuinely do not know how to write this, feel free to just ignore this request:]

Hope you have an excellent day/night/evening/afternoon/noon!!>:DD

Ah, I think I recognize you there! Good to hear from you again. I’ll give it a shot!

GN! Shy Artist Reader x Mercs

Characters: Scout, Pyro, Sniper, Engineer, Medic (TF2)

Warnings: None

Scout ⚾️

• The two of you tend to draw while you hang out, just chatting in the meantime.

• He absolutely adored your work, and loved watching you make it.

• But when you pulled your sketchbook to your chest quick, he seemed confused.

• “Hey! You good?” “Yeah, I uh…I just feel weird when you’re watching me draw.” “Huh? You don’t gotta feel embarrassed, doll!”

• “…You know when you tried to pull off a jump while Spy and Demo were watching the other day…” At this reminder, Scout gave you a teasing scowl—not genuinely mad, just embarrassed remembering that.

• “Ah geez—yeah, if they hadn’t spooked me by starin’ at me like a buncha creeps—oh.” “You get it now?”

• He got…a little confused. “Am I makin’ it worse? Aw man, I’m sorry—” “No, no! I just—that awkwardness? Yeah.” “Ohhh, I think I gotcha…”

•Scout, uh, scooted over on the bed a little and eventually sat back down with his back against yours. “There. This’ll fix it!” Both of you erupted into laughter.

•In all seriousness though, he respected your wishes. He keeps everything you make for him in his room, aside from a small doodle or two that he carries on him to work at all times…awww.

Pyro 🔥

•You and Pyro lay sprawled on the floor, with a can of colored pencils and a box of crayons respectively.

•They’re actually quite good when it comes to color, pairing different hues together. It’s hard to tell exactly what they’re drawing, but sometimes you can faintly make it out.

•You suddenly felt eyes very intently locked onto you and jerked your head up.

• “Hm??”, came through the mask, muffled. “Uh…could you um…”

•They did that curious little head tilt, tenderly reaching for your hand. If you needed to tell them something, they wanted to make sure they heard it!

• “I feel nervous when you watch me draw. I know it’s silly, but—” “Ah!” Genuine surprise from the masked figure. They’d had no idea.

•Immediately, there were muffled apologies from under the mask, quickly hugging you. “Hey hey, it’s okay! I’m not mad. I just figured I should tell you. You’re okay, Py.”

• “Mmph?” “Yes, dear. I promise.” Giggling a little now, they pulled their free hand over the eyeholes of the mask like a visor, blocking you from view. You chuckled along with them.

•Later on, as the two of you shared drawings, you made out a familiar visage—that of you, with a couple bright red hearts drawn nearby. “Hehe, I love you too.”

Sniper 🏹

• Mick didn’t often watch you draw, honestly. The two of you tended to do your own thing in the same space, talking occasionally. Even that was enough.

• Once you caught him watching on what was kind of an off day though. You kind of just stared back up at him.

• Sniper cocked an eyebrow. “Why’d ya stop?” Biting the inside of your cheek, you looked off to the side.

• You felt the bed next to you sink down a little as he moved closer. “Hey. Ya got somethin’ ya wanna say?” His voice was softer, more cautious. “…cuz ya know, I’d like to hear that.”

• Shuffling a bit to get more comfortable next to him, you sighed. “I don’t know how to explain it, but…I feel weird when people watch me draw.” “Yeah?”

• You nodded. “Kinda see what ya mean, I guess. Ya think they’ll judge the work-in-progress?” You silently agreed.

• A slight smile brightened his features. “Well, dunno if it helps, but I know a lil better, love.” His shoulder brushed against yours as you moved a bit closer.

• “I love everythin’ you make. And I know that you know what yer doin. But…if you’re more comfortable with me not lookin’, I get that too. That’s fine.”

• He went to move away, but you quickly clasped his shoulder softly, indicating that he could stay. “Maybe, I could try to keep going?” A laugh broke through as you admitted, “Besides, I like sitting next to you.”

• Humming contently, the Aussie planted the briefest of kisses on the top of your head. “Arright, darlin. You just lemme know.”

• As you kept working on that page, you did notice when he was watching, and it wasn’t easy, but after that he would have periods of staring off into space instead.

• There was a conciseness to it. He’d taken what you’d said to heart. Still, though, he seemed happy…and you were, too.

Engineer 🔧

• Dell had gathered quite a collection of your art by now, kept it on the wall of his workshop. He showed it off proudly to anyone who happened to enter, even if visitors tended to be few and far between.

• One night, you kept him company as he worked overtime on a new design for a model. While he worked, you did too.

• After a while though, you could tell someone was looking at you. As your gaze lifted, you caught him sneaking a peek from his desk, right next to the table where you sat.

• “Aw, did I break yer focus there? Sorry, honey.” “No no, it’s okay, Engie…I could put it away for now anyway, if you want something—”

• “No problem, (Y/N)! You can keep right on with that if ya like.” A somewhat sheepish smile came to your face.

“Hey, Engie…can you keep a secret?”

• “Mmm?” “…I get sorta nervous when people watch me draw.” A knowing sort of smile slowly crossed the Texan’s face, sliding his goggles up to rest on his forehead for a moment.

• “You wanna know a secret?”

“Hmm?”

A nostalgic sort of thoughtfulness crept into his voice. “I used ta be the same way.”

• “Really?” You never pictured the mellow, easygoing Engineer to ever be self-conscious in that way.

“Yup.”

• “People would ask me all sorts a’ questions while they watched me build. ‘How ya gonna make that work?’ ‘What’s that do?’ ‘Why’d ya put that there?’ Drove me crazy. Part of the reason I got a shop, I s’pose.”

• He held a spare nut and bolt, twisting them together and apart as he talked, somewhat absentmindedly. Eyes wandering a bit, but always making their way back to you.

• “But here’s somethin’ I think you oughta hear, although I’d never try ta make ya change. Your work is yours, darlin’. Yours and yours alone. Ya make such beautiful things. I’m not askin’ myself what you’re doin’ when I watch, cuz I already know.”

• He put the fidget aside and reached for your hand with a sweet smile. “Why do you like to watch me work?”

• You could feel your face redden just a bit, and grinned at the floor for a moment. He chuckled at this, in a lighthearted way though. “Cuz it’s really cool how you make everything work, and how smart you are with your designs.”

• “Yep. That’s why I like watchin’ you work. Own the process, (Y/N). It’s all yours. You know exactly what you’re doin.”

• “Thanks, Dell.” “Of course, honey. Of course.” From that moment onward, it seemed like he tried not to watch for too long, but when he did, you remembered his words. And it didn’t feel quite as nerve-wracking then.

Medic 💉

• Medic absolutely loved to watch you draw. It was fascinating to him. Seeing how giddy he got, it took you a while to work up the guts to tell him.

• “Is something wrong, Liebe? You’ve been stopped for a while now.”

“Yeah, uh…Medic, I wanna tell you something, but it’s weird.”

“Oh?”

• “I uh…I feel kinda…nervous, I guess? When people watch me draw.”

“��might I ask why?” He seems genuinely perplexed by this. “I think it’s fascinating.”

• Yeah, yeah he would. You weren’t sure how to explain this to him—you knew for sure that he didn’t mind when people watched him at work, he operated on fully conscious people!

• You sighed softly, unsure of how to make this make sense to him. A hand rested on your shoulder for a moment. “(Y/N), I can see this means a lot to you. And as much as I love watching you at work…I love you even more. So I’ll stop doing that.”

A smile crept up on you, glancing back up at him.

“I appreciate it a lot, love. Sorry I can’t put it into words.”

“No need to be sorry! But…I do have one request.”

“Yeah?”

• A sheepish sort of smile came to the doctor’s face. “I can…still see the finished product, right? And maybe, instead of me watching, you could tell me how you put everything together?”

“Of course! No problem.”

“Ah, wunderbar!”

I’ve been very tired lately so I’m sorry this took me so long, and that it’s sorta short/repetitive. I appreciate your patience!

[prettyboypistol]

how do you think would mercs react to reader calling them pet names in his native language that is not english obviously 👀 might be sfw or nsfw, whatever you like more ❤️

TF2 Mercs Reacting To Native Language Pet Names!

Scout

Gets like, REALLY flustered initially. A "Uh, what did you call me?" then "O-oh. Nice! Nice!... Haha okaaaaay! Great!"

Man starts mimicking you and your accent subconsciously (ADHD echoing go brrr) and likes stimming by rolling his rs and doing the special sounds your language does that are different from English.

Soldier

"YOU MAGGOTS HEAR THAT! CUPCAKE HERE THINKS I'M A COWZONE!" "I SAID CORASON!" "MEDIC! HE'S HALLUCINATING! HE THINKS I'M FOOD!"

After you explain it, he gets all giddy and lovey dovey on you, he's got a thing for you talking in your first language.

Pyro

Deadass? I headcanon Pyro to be a polygot. They know what you're saying regardless of what language you speak.

When they hear the petname you shout as good luck, they turn around and make a heart with their fingers and shout something back. It sounded vaguely like your language..?

Demoman

Will hit you with a scottish one right back, it becomes a war of the pet names until you both end up cuddled tightly in each other's arms and on the brink of sleep as you murmur out little sweet nothings.

Has no idea what you're saying but can understand it's affectionate because of the context.

Engie

"What's that, darling? Didn't quite catch that." You say it in English. "Oh! Well ain't you sweet! C'mere hun."

Not as flusterable on the outside, but internally freaking the fuck out because that was SO CUTE!!!

Heavy

Maaaaan. RIP you. This dude's barely got a grasp on English, that could be your only language and this would still work.

If you explain it to him, then he gets all smiley with you and kisses your cheek.

Medic

"Ah, danke liebe." "No problem, cher." "Oh! You speak another language? Amazing! I know that one- wait, do I? Let's see... German, Latin, English..."

Finds it absolutely adorable. If he doesn't know the language he asks you to teach him so you two can gossip together behind people's backs.

Spy

THE RESIDENT POLYGOT. LIKE, HEADCANONED TO BE HIRED ON TO BRIDGE THE LANGUAGE BARRIER LEVELS OF LANGUAGE KNOWLEDGE.

Imma be real it doesn't even register that you spoke in something other than English, but he instinctually switched to your language mid conversation more out of habit than anything.

Sniper

"Awe, using that first-language charm on me, eh? Well that's not gonna let you use me rifle. Sorry chickadee."

Sees it as more of a teasing to try (and failing) to fluster him or get what you want.

[lunatic-pudge]

TF2 Mercs Green Flags (except it's very biased)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I love my boys. Yes, this is biased and questionable. But this is meant to be cute and fun.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scout:

-Silly little goober, great person to be around when you need cheering up

-Golden retreiver boyfriend

-Can easily make you laugh without even trying

-Artsy fartsy

Pyro

-Cutie patootie who makes the cutest drawings of you two together

-Owns an Easy Bake Oven

-Master at baking, never-ending supply of sweets for you to indulge in

-Your biggest supporter. Would literally cheer for you if you rob a bank

Soldier

-Also your biggest supporter, will demand that other adore you as well

-Will let you own any pet you want no matter what the animal is

-Speeches of why you're the best thing to ever exist and how America is blessed to have such a beauty like you live there

-Will give you anything and everything you could ever want, like human ears. Definitely a good person to be if you like collecting weird stuff

Demo

-Precious baby boy is a major cuddle bug

-Def knows how to knit/crochet, will make you whatever you want

-Baby man likes learning about folklore/mythology

-He's essentially a big walking teddy bear. Perfect for cuddles, especially on a cold or rainy day

Heavy

-GIANT WALKING TEDDY BEAR

-Protective baby boy, big scary dog privleges

-Bookworm, can recommend a good book if you don't know what to read

-Perfect person to lay around and cuddle with, he can smother me any day. Dates at home are TOP TIER

Engie

-THE BEST PERSON TO GO TO WHEN YOU'RE HAVING AN OFF DAY HANDS DOWN

-Smart boy, can make you stuff that helps with day to day activities which is helpful if you can't do certain things to having a disability or something

-Dad bod, dad bod, dad bod, dad bod, dad bod, can't get enough of it

-Voice of an angel, will sing for you if you'd like. Can def sing you to sleep

Medic

-NERD, he's an adorable nerd! Let him ramble about his hyperfixations!

-Def a good pet owner, would kill someone if they don't take proper care of their pets

-Would make sure you take care of yourself, he's kinda like a dad that cares

-He's such a maniac. I can see him just secretly being up to no good all the time. And he's also very girlypop

-Putting an extra for him cause I can: Medic boobs. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk

Sniper

-Sweet, precious baby boy who can do no wrong. He strikes me as someone who listens to EVERYTHING when it comes to music. He ain't genrephobic

-Also a collector of weird things. Likes making bone jewlery. Bone boy

-I just love the concept of him being feral? This is probably the weirdest thing on the list. Like there's the golden retreiver boyfriend (Scout), and then there's the feral boyfriend (Sniper). Literally acts like a cat, hiding away from people, hissing when people that aren't you tries to touch him, will demand attention/affection from you, ect. I need to make a more detailed idea of a feral boyfriend so work with me plz

-He would absolutely let you wear his clothes, thinking about how adorable you look. He'd do the same with your clothes if they're big enough for his lanky body. You two swap jackets in the winter time so you guys always have a piece of each other when you two are busy and aren't able to see each other

Spy

-I know a running joke is that Spy is a smelly French asshole, but I really do think that he wears some of the nicest smelling cologne out there. Expensive af colonge, but damn, it's addicting

-Smarty pants. Not just anyone can be a spy, it takes quite a bit of intellect for it. And not to mentions he knows multiple languages? Love it, even if I hate the French language with a burning passion

-Him having a good taste in fashion? He's gotta know what he's doing by wearing suits all the time. Not only does he look fresh af, but people always look so good in a suit, especially when it fits them. But please also picture him dressed in a more romantic goth aesthetic plz, okay I'll stop now

-Is good at paying attention to even the littlest of details about his partners. Even if you're trying to be cryptic or subtle about things, he'll always find out. He's def a protective type too

[rabbittf2x]

Requested! <3

Pyro and Engineer Tuck Reader in

Pyro💖

Pyro looked all over the base for you one night. It was bedtime! Where were you? He called your name as he scouted, his muffled words bouncing off the walls.

“Where are you?”

Pyro entered the living room and his heart melted. There you laid asleep on the couch, your show still playing quietly on the tv. He giggled quietly, admiring you sleeping like an angel before him. You were his angel. <3

Pyro grabbed the throw blanket and gently draped it over you, tucking you in on the couch. You smiled softly in your sleep and he beamed under his mask.

Engineer💖

You were bent on spending the night with the Engineer but he insisted he was busy. He couldn’t turn you down though with your puppy eyes and telling him how much you wanted to be around him. He smiled warmly as he tinkered in his workshop, you watching on in awe.

Engie thoroughly enjoyed having you there to chat with him as he worked on his inventions. But later in the night, you grew quieter and quieter. He look his eyes off the sentry he had been polishing and glanced over to see you asleep on his old couch.

The Engineer chuckled softly. “Ain’t that cute?” He carefully snuck over and draped a blanket over you. You stirred then snuggled up under the blanket, making him tuck you in snug as a bug. “Night, darling…”

[crabonfire]

☆ Would merc still like you if merasmus turned you into a worm 🪱 ☆

characters: all mercs

tags: crack but not really I'm taking it kinda seriously, reader has a platonic relationship with the mercs

note: maybe someone's done this before idk I felt compelled to write something tf2 related and this is lowkey all I fucking got lmao

Also this is ridiculously long for a fic that was supposed to be crack so my bad (this was longer actually, but I cut out a bunch of yapping)

●○●○●

• I feel like Scout's first reaction instead of panicking is to curse and threaten Merasmus.

"OUT OF EVERY SHITTY THING YOU COULD'VE DONE, YOU TURNED THEM INTO A FRIGGIN' WORM?!"

• He's yelling, so much to the point where Merasmus just teleports away and ignores it, finding it funny (of course he finds it funny what a dick)

• He realizes that when he was so busy yelling at Merasmus, he had lost you. He panicked, looking around the ground with a horrified frown, cursing to himself as he started to dig, looking closely. When he finally found you, he placed you on his hand with a frown, looking at how you moved against his fingertips. He wanted to cry a little, he really didn't know what to do.

• He's placing you under his hat. Usually he'd find worms or maggots gross as hell, and if he was going to be honest he still found you gross, but it was you, so...

• Then he rushes back to base, the panicked look on his face never leaving him. He alerts all the other mercs, making a huge fuss over how, you're a worm now, and they need to help him get back at merasmus to turn him back.

He's holding you in his palm, and you're just wiggling around like nothing is wrong cause you're a worm now. And the rest of the mercs look at him like he's crazy.

• Spy, Sniper, Medic, and Heavy are convinced he's lying. Demo believes him a little since he's experienced Merasmus' antics. Soldier automatically believes him fully since the worms there, but you're not, so that must be you. Engineer is just trying to keep the peace, trying to calm scout down, but it doesn't work as no one is listening to him.

• The team is skeptical, thinking that this is some elaborate prank and that, you're just out for a couple hours. But when you don't return tomorrow for the fight, or return after, that raises some suspicions on where you are.

• Ms. Pauling doesn't know where you are either. So is it true? Are you really the worm?

• A meeting is held, everyone stands around the rounded table, the light shining down on you. You're in your little wormy home, slithering and worming your way through life, forgetting your identity, eating leaves and sleeping in dirt.

The mercs watch as you're doing your worm thing.

Engineer clears his throat, making the attention go to him. He turns to Scout, and the confusion in his voice is evident as he speaks.

"Scout, you're absolutely positive that, this worm is (y/n)?"

Scout responds with an aggresive nod, the slight panic and frustration shown in his expression.

"I told you, its them! I saw it happen with my own two eyes, Merasmus found em, they got zapped and poof- they're a worm! A freakin' worm!"

• The team continues to look at you, so peaceful, so calm, being a worm. They don't know why, but, now it was much easier to believe him. The worm was just like you, chill and...cool...and awesome...and wow... amazing..

"So...what? They're just a worm now?"

Sniper said, picking up the jar you were in, looking at you curiously.

"I don't think they'll be too happy stuck like that."

Engineer spoke once again, "If they got turned into a worm, there's...probably a way to turn em' back, right?"

• That was enough to bring hope to Scout's mind. Of course! That was it, if he could find Merasmus and maybe force convince him to turn you back, everything would be okay! All his sadness had dissipated, and he was quick to start making plans.

• So they did, the team would go hunting for Merasmus, and make him turn you back. In the meantime, they'd take turns taking care of you.

• Scout liked to hang out with you, pretending like it was just like before, where you and him would sip sodas together and talk about anything and everything. He'd pour some soda in the dirt you were in, not really caring of the consequences and thinking everything was the same with you two. He really missed having someone to talk to, though.

"Man, I hope you can hear me. It'll be like, super fuckin' weird if I've been talking to you and you're not even in there.."

• Pyro wouldn't really see a difference. That sounds mean, but its really nothing personal. Though now that you were a worm, you weren't as scared as them as you usually were. They'd sit you down, with their plushies, having a nice tea party, watching carefully as you'd just slither about as a worm.

• Soldier was...confused. You, who once was a brave and selfless fighter, was now a worm. It fascinated him and scared him at the same time. He'd get awkward around you, wondering if you remembered him. He'd talk to you mostly, sometimes petting you...He'd try to.

"EVEN IF YOU'RE A WORM, YOU'RE STILL STRONG TO ME!"

"...You're still in there aren't you?"

• Demo wouldn't really know what to do with you either. He finds it kinda funny how you got turned into a worm. Unlike Scout or Soldier, he doesn't really panic, knowing you'll probably be fine, worm or not. He does miss having you to talk to, like scout. Sometimes he'd just be in the living room, and you'd be by the table in your little jar. He'd just watch curiously, but wouldn't really do anything.

• Same thing goes for Sniper. He legit doesn't really know what to do or say. But, he is a little afraid that you won't turn back into a person. Unlike Scout, he found that you weren't 100% obnoxious or annoying, someone to have chill conversations with after battle. He'd keep watch over you, letting you sit with him as he's chilling on top of his van. Sometimes he'd even bring you out with him in battles as he's camping out enemies during fights. He always makes sure you're safe, though.

• Heavy really liked you. He found you someone worth talking to, and a solid member of the team, so it was a bit jarring to see you turned into a worm. He'd keep his hopes up, though, talking to you like normal. Sometimes he'd watch you like Demo did, curious about you and your little world. It was weirdly calming, after battles he'd be worn out, and when he'd see you worming your way through leaves and dirt, it relieved him a little.

• Engie was a little off put by it, the same way soldier felt. You're just...a worm now? Huh. He doesn't really know what to say to that. Medic and him share the same thought, and that thought is, are you concious? Are you aware that you're a worm? Or are you mindless?

They can't help but think of it that way, in a practical sense. Medic would have to hide you from archimedes and the rest of his doves, who would love to eat you at any given chance.

Sometimes they'd do tests on you. Nothing painful or dramatic but, tests to see if you're still in there. They're really overthinking it.

Engie likes having you in his workshop late at night, makes him feel less alone when you're just worming. Medic keeps you at a distance, just to make sure he doesn't lose you or, have one of his doves eat you.

• Spy, is, kind of grossed out. Nobody has a close relationship with him. He did have a lot of respect for you, both on and off the battlefield. You were just a decent human being who he found a liking to, now you're...a worm. A gross, slimy worm.

He never let you into his smoking room, actually he never even let you out of your jar. He liked you, respected you, but liked you more as a person.

He feels pity, honestly, and just wants you to either be out of his way, or back to normal.

• When you do eventually turn back into a worm, they're all pretty glad. They all have questions, ranging from "Were you really in there? Like were you- aware?" And then "Was it nice being a worm?"

I'm sure you can tell who's asking which question and such.

○●○●○

this what comic 7 leak does to a person

[demoman-kisser420]

Dating the mercs headcannons <3

Scout

-It takes him a bit to get over ms pauling imma be honest cheif

-hes super sweet and loves to run around with you

-he's clingy and loves to show you off

-he loves to stay around you during battle to keep you safe

Soldier

(IK CANONICALLY HES DATING ZHANNA)

-very possesive ngl (isn't to possesive tho)

-he loves pda (handholding hugging kissing)

-will hold you while he rocket jumps with you

-hes clingy asf and gets jealous easy (good luck lmao)

Pyro

(Again I go off the unofficial pyro face by the creators)

-they are super sweet to you

-there love language is definitely gift giving

-definitely gonna get some strange gifts though

-they love to cuddle after a good battle

Demoman

-best man to cuddle

-I feel like he would teach you how to throw a scottish hammer

-would call you cute pet names

(Lass/lad lamb hun/honey)

-loves to kiss you even just mini kisses on the battle fieild

Heavy

-this man would be so awkward at first

-he would give you small gifts like flower he picked

-he would cook for you and would teach you how to cook (if you didn't know)

-hes overprotective as hell

-doesent really like pda but will still slightly hold your hand infront of others maybe a hug at most

Engineer

-WHAT A MANN 😍

-he would be so sweet to you

-holds your hand almost all the time

-he just likes to be around you

-he doesent get jealous easy but if some one is openly flirting with you hes gonna step in

-calls you honey,darling,baby,sweetheart

-he likes it when you wear his clothes

Medic

-hes super obsessed with you like every little thing about you will fascinate him

-hes clingy asf he wants you to be with him almost all the time

-stays next to you in battle to make sure your okay

-he loves it when you sit on his lap while he works on paper work (not even a sexual thing it's just the fact your around him)

-cute german pet names

Sniper

-he gets flustered easy

-he likes affection but not in public

-good at kissing

-he makes sure to keep a look out for you on the battle field

-gives you the spare key to his van

-goes star gazing with you

Spy

-loves to flirt with you

-will constantly fluster you infront if everyone

-he shows you off alot to everyone

-calls you french pet names

-hes nervous about commitment but he will eventually commit himself to you

-HOLY SHIT THIS MAN IS A GOOD KISSER

(I really liked making this and I'd love to take you guy's commissions and stuff so feel free to ask for some hc's or short stories and I'll do my best <3)