#they're pretty equal in my mid

[underwhelmingalchemist]

Starting pride month with the pharmacy denying me my testosterone prescription until mid-June and my doctor saying she can't do anything about it because it's a controlled substance 🙃✌️

[2tarbell]

heyyyy, so i was thinking about this yesterday and i was wondering if tp!rafe had any friends that's picked up from working odd jobs or they live in the trailer park. like i can just imagine he introduces them to reader and she's all shy and nervous (they're all a little sleazy and pervy like rafey) but rafe is just so proud to show off his little baby doll xx

(sorry for the word vomit 😭)

TP!RAFE using this as advantage to act all rough with her, asserting his dominance in front of the various of feral, sleazy men that live around them. she wanted to be all supportive and sweet for him. so she suggests attending the trailer park bbq!! rafe is a bit skeptical because he knows these guys — knows how they think and how vulgar they can be. but then she’s pulling at his arm and begging and— how could he say no?

reader makes a small casserole to bring, eyes adorned with pretty lashes and her favorite lipstick accentuating that equally pretty grin. bouncing between the picnic tables, offering food in that soft voice. rafe is sitting in a fold out chair, surveying the small get-together, beer half drunk in his hand. it only gets better when she approaches him mid conversation with some guys he knows from work. he can almost hear the dirty thoughts when she shuffles over and kisses him fleetingly, bent over in that pretty dress. his. sets of eyes snap away at his warning glare.

so he introduces her formally, pulling her down to sit on his knee. her shyness is adorable — deer like in its skittishness. she’s smiling sweetly at all the men with their hungry gazes on her. rafe feels a mixture of jealousy and possessiveness settle in his chest. he gives her a rough press of his lips to her temple, large palm roughly squeezing at her covered hip & voice authoritative.

“you better stop smilin’ at them in the next five seconds ‘fore i show them how much of a slut you really are. fix your face.”

later, he’s undressing in their bedroom, one hand unbuckling his belt. he feels small arms snake around his middle, a gentle nuzzle against his back from her head. her voice, all timid and soft, apologizing for being bad, daddy :C just wanted to be nice. he finishes up changing, his ignorance of her words making her arousal & unease grow.

even later, he’s on top of her and has her knees pressed near her ears. thick length causing her juices to squelch around him with each precise thrust. the pleasure has her eyes welling and jaw slack. rafe spits into her agape mouth, slowly and in a way that shouldn’t be as sexy as it is. he smirks when she swallows without hesitation, hips bucking up against his. completely lost from the way his cock is dumbing her.

her frantic grasping at his toned back and whimpers of ‘i’m- i’m sorry, daddy’ & ‘you— ah!— yours’ soften him a bit — pressing his mouth to hers and rolling his hips more fluidly.

“dad can’t— mmf, can’t share you, baby. don’t wanna. none’a— none’a those fuckers could make you feel like this. need my girl juuuus’ for me, yeah?”

[wannaeatramyeon]

Adventures of YOUR part time job in the Lookismverse

G/N. You work the graveyard shift in a convenience store. You meet bizarre characters on different nights. Part 1 | Part 2

The customers can usually be separated into 3 categories.

Drunks, students, and weirdos.

Unfortunately for you, lately the weirdos have turned into regulars. But fortunately the weirdos aren't so weird.

The one that made it a habit to check in on you, with the scars and the cheesy wink wasn't so bad. Jack, was it? You can't remember and it's been too long for you to ask. You awkwardly address him as 'you' and avoid any situation where you need to use his name.

He likes to ask how you are, tell a few jokes. Spirit undeterred even when you look at him with a blank face because bless his soul, he's not funny at all but at least he tries and he's a lot less weird than first impression.

He hangs around at odd times, then again you do only work at odd times. Telling you stories about this and that. Something about Big Deal, something about a guy called Sinu and something about another guy called Samuel.

It's difficult to keep track. It's like he wants to talk but he's cryptic and god, it's 4am who can blame you if your eyes are glazing over.

John, or is it Jerry, is waffling again. He seems to always be talking about Samuel. Who he apparently misses and wonders where it's gone wrong and hang on, he's never been explicit but you just had to know.

When he takes a breath to munch on a cookie, you ask, "Hold on, is Samuel your ex?"

Wait no his name is Jason, definitely Jason- freezes mid-chew, "Why would you say that? He's my friend!"

Joshua sprays crumbs all over you but you note how he doesn't say no.

(You think you see this Samuel one early morning. You’re pretty sure you’ve seen him before and man, he really looks like shit.

Looks like the breakup is getting to him too.

Poor Samuel and Poor Jim.)

.

.

But sometimes weirdos are just weirdos. 

It's ok. It comes with the territory so long as they're not in the habit of hurling abuse or whatever, you can deal with it.

In recent memory, there's only been two people that you have had to almost chase out with a broomstick.

You should have known they would be weirdos when one of them walks in in surprisingly teeny tiny purple camo shorts. Not that you're a pearl clutcher, but you're worried that one wrong move and he could be dangling out.

Besides. Purple. Camo. Shorts. Those words should never follow one after the other, and you repress a shudder at this guy's hideous dress sense when he comes up to you.

You thought the other one was alright, at least there's no hideous purple camo shorts in sight and his hair is nice (huh, this style must be popular, you’ve seen a lot of guys with this hair)-

But then he opens his mouth and asks for snakes and you think it's karma for judging camo-guy for his appearance when his friend is equally odd.

"We usually keep the snakes next to the ramen," you deadpan and the two men actually go to seek out the supposed snake (meat or pet purposes?) only to return moments later, empty-handed and looking confused.

"I think the snake is all sold out," Non-camo guy says as camo-guy glances around as if you might have hidden your snake stock elsewhere.

They must have thought you were stupid as you stood there opening and closing your mouth like a fish (or maybe a snake, do snake do these things), because come on, how are you even supposed to formulate a response to that?

Then you look at their eyes and also notice them looking snakey and surmise it must be some weird fetish thing. Pretending to be snakes and eating snakes and having pet snakes.

You want no part of this and tell them to get out.

.

.

"I'm Baek Hangyeol," a new face says, pointing to his ID badge pinned to the white coat. 

"Doctor Baek Hangyeol." He stresses Doctor and Hangyeol and you wonder if he is waiting for a round of applause.

You don't say anything but you do notice he looks like a teenager and what idiot would let a teenager operate on them. (Drunk, student, weirdo. He could be all three.) Doctor Baek Hangyeol must be bluffing.

You decide not to call him on his bullshit. 

"Cool," is all you respond with because you don't want another complaint for being too mouthy. You are half tempted to tell him you're not a doctor, that you just work here but that seemed kinda redundant so you keep your mouth shut.

"Do you believe in true beauty?" he asks when you finish bagging up his goods (a plain water with added minerals, a bottle of multivitamins and a protein shake) and you think what sort of question is that.

You give a halfhearted shrug and say "Sure" and he hands his business card over.

"If you're ever considering it," he tells you with a wild smile. After he has left you look down at the lettering, eyes zeroing in on ‘Plastic Surgery’.

Excuse me?! What is he trying to say?

You thought he was a weirdo but now he has firmly shifted over to asshole. You regret not telling him to go fuck himself while you had the chance. The complaint would 100% be worth it. Zero regrets.

On your break, you burn the card and feel a small sense of satisfaction.

.

.

A tall blonde guy with a creepy vibe (hold on, have you seen him before, he seems familiar. Then again, creepy blonde guys seem to be quite common around here-) walks in with the most billowing coat you have ever seen.

The entrance is kinda cool but the actual coat is kinda tragic with the cheesy red lettering and you wonder if you can pull it off any better than him.

You're still wondering about his coat when he's paying you, and hang on you have definitely seen him before because he says arigatou and hands over yen and you tell him no. Won only.

The idea of the coat, which has evolved into you fantasising about having a full blown cape, quickly loses its charm however, when the blonde gets caught in the automatic doors and you have to wrestle them open to free him.

Afterwards, you ask if he's ok, if he is harmed and can’t resist asking if the coat is ok too. You really don't want a lawsuit on your watch especially when the malfunctioning doors are not your fault.

Your kindness is repaid by him telling you he's not interested (what the fuck) and that his heart will not stray (again, what the fuck).

.

.

You accidentally eavesdrop on a couple of students lamenting about missing out on school work. You didn’t mean to eavesdrop ok, the aisles are tight and cramped, it’s a small space. 

You peek over, and the one with big ears (seriously, they are huge) is telling the one with his back to you (goodness, his back is huge too) that school is important and he’s got notes the other one can use. 

It’s sweet, you think. School is important and it’s good they recognise that. Nice of them to help each other out too.

When they both come to pay (holy shit, that’s a fuckton of chocolate milk), you’re surprised to find Big Ear’s friend, Big Back, looks anywhere between late 20s and early 40s but it’s never too late to catch up on education, you suppose.

You spend the rest of your shift feeling motivated.

.

.

“Going camping?” you ask the guy with the sandy blonde hair, chuckling nervously and ringing his items through. 

Either he’s going camping or he’s gonna kill and hide a dead body in the forest.

He’s pretty stoic, only giving you a curt nod. You can’t help but probe him a bit more. You’ve got a feeling that if or when the dead body turns up, you want to at least clear your conscience that you’ve tried your best so you make some more idle small talk.

You mention how you haven’t been camping for ages, not since you nearly burned your tent down and singed your hair after you tried to cook some marshmallows over a fire that turned out to be more of a raging bonfire (and might have awoken your pyromaniac streak, but you keep that to yourself).

The blonde guy actually pipes up and says “Master Taesoo would never do that.” 

You almost apologise out of principle due to how earnest he sounds, then he mentions something about how good this Master Taesoo is at catching and cooking snake and you wonder what the fuck is up with people and the snake obsession.

Either way, it doesn’t sound like someone is getting murdered. Only a snake (poor snake) so at least you can sleep easy later that day.

.

.

“Oh hi DG,” you say, “Sorry about your cryptocurrency falling through. Diegocoin was it?”

He blinks at you a few times in surprise and heavens above. What’s that saying, fool me once, shame on me; fool me twice, shame on you? This guy has fooled you exactly no times with his shitty disguises and his effort has substantially dwindled too. 

He has only put his hood up and you did think you might get mugged at one point-

It’s an empty store, for crying out loud. Who comes into an empty store in the asscrack of night with their hood up, not wanting to draw attention to themselves.

Then you notice the pink hair and shifty glance and duh.

“Is it the-?” he asks, putting his hood down and signalling to his hair.

“Yeah, it’s the-” you signal to your own head of hair. “Dude you really need to dye it if you’re going for subtle.” You pause, consider something, “Hold on.”

You walk over to the beauty aisle and grab the black hair dye.

“On the house,” you tell DG because this guy really has no self awareness.

.

.

“What do you mean no?”

“No." Your boyfriend peers down at you, arms crossed and at the end of his patience with you.

You open your mouth to argue- 

“No. You know nothing about Taekwondo. How can you work here?”

You look around helplessly at the studio. He’s not exactly wrong but you’re sick of dealing with the weirdos and the snakes and the creepy blondes. “But your dad-”

“I don’t care what that stupid old man says,”

“Taehoon!” Hansu scolds from the other side of the room, and Hansu's class of toddlers all whirl their head around to stare.

“I can learn?” you offer and Taehoon raises one skeptical brow.

“So you’re going to be a student?” You nod enthusiastically, “And we’re going to pay you for that?”

Oh. Damn. 

He’s got you there.

[oozedninjas]

LIBRARY

Master post of all my writings. TW: dark content + NSFW I MDNI I all my readers are female by default unless specified otherwise.

All characters are depicted mid-twenties and older. Any bitching about this matter equals instant block ♡

Art inspired by my writings is more than appreciated, but please add in your description the link to my post, or submit it to my inbox ♡

Please don't spam like, reblogs and comments are appreciated!

Ao3

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Updated: 02/May/2024 | All content published here belongs to oozedninjas™ Do not repost my work.

[lovelyhan]

Hii Kai how about hooking up lee Chan at home football game where he should be benched but he’s off playing with you instead 🥴 congrats on your milestone bb 💕

02:40 — CHAN

it's a crime how it took me so long to actually work on this AHSHSJA thank you for the mental image of jock dino ditching his games for some pussy nana ur brain is so big 😽😽😽 + this kind of reads more like crack than smut so i hope you forgive me HAHSJW

it's the biggest match of the season. there's equally high stakes for both teams playing and the audience is nothing if not fired up.

team captain choi seungcheol considers this as the game that'll make or break their career as a team, so it's only proper for him to do his usual headcount. but when he notices that they're one person short—

"vernon," he calls out to one of the younger members, frustration making itself known on his face. "have you seen chan? the game's about to start."

the younger athlete stares at him quizzically. "uh, he said he had to go home early. something about a sprained ankle. but won't it be fine? he's benched for today anyway isn't—"

"he went home early 'cause of what?!"

"...a sprained ankle?"

vernon doesn't quite understand why seungcheol is simultaneously having a meltdown and looking like he's about to plan lee chan's funeral and burial all by himself.

"a sprained ankle," the captain begins, pinching the bridge of his nose with an exasperated sigh, "is code for pussy appointment. that asshole ditched us to get his dick wet!"

on the other side of campus, lee chan sneezes in the middle of fucking your brains out.

"whoa," you chuckle, reaching out to pat your boyfriend's face lightly. "you okay, baby?"

despite being balls deep inside you, chan shivers for reasons completely unrelated to the feel of your cunt squeezing around his dick. "i feel like someone's plotting my death right now."

"channie, that's the most unsexy thing you've told me ever." you roll your eyes, wrapping your thighs around his hips to pull him closer. "can you go back to rambling about how good my pussy feels?"

seeing as he's very much still hot and hard inside you, it seems that your boyfriend wasn't that thrown off by his mid-coitus sneeze. he simply sighs, stares down at you and the spill of your pretty breasts before fucking into you hard enough to make the headboard bang against the wall.

"love it when your tits bounce like that," he moans, leaning down to latch his lips around your pebbled nipples.

"y-you love my tits all the time," you accuse, trying your best not to let out any noises that are too embarrassing to bear. "when you saw me in my cheer uniform earlier, you dragged me all the way back to your dorm just to fuck me!"

"can't help it, baby," chan laughs before cupping your face and pressing a kiss on your nose. "that skimpy uniform makes your tits pop out perfectly. good thing i'm not playing today 'cause everyone would've seen my erection in the middle of the field."

you keen sharply when the head of his cock grazes against your g-spot—all snarky comments about his unsolicited plan to sneak out of the game for a pussy appointment going up in smoke.

"r-right there, channie—shit," you whimper, fucking yourself back on his cock to match his fervor. "cock's splitting me so fucking good..."

"that so?" he whispers breathlessly, wandering hands pawing at your breasts before he suckles on them. "does that mean you'll let me drag you off for more quickies from now on?"

"don't caaare," comes your drawled out plea, clammy hands reaching between your legs to rub your clit in tight circles. "'m so close, channie. wanna cum on your cock. please, please, please. want it—need it."

one minute you're scolding him for being unsexy, and the next you're drooling over his pillows as he fucks you stupid. if chan wasn't as desperate to dump his load inside you as he is, he would've dragged this out just to tease you.

"good fucking girl," he hisses when he feels your walls tighten around his length—egging him on to fuck you through your release as he chases after his own orgasm.

when chan spills his cum into your quivering cunt, you let out the prettiest little moan that could beat any sort of practiced cheer from a crowd of spectators. he'd prefer to see the redness dusting your fucked out face over any trophy they're set to win.

and he'd rather lie in bed with the love of his life than warm a bench for the entirety of a game.

"cheol's gonna kill you when he sees you again, you know."

that's the first thing you say when chan brings you to the bathroom—taking the act of aftercare as seriously as ever.

"i know," he says coolly, rubbing a damp washcloth between your thighs.

"and really? you told vernon you sprained your ankle?"

"hey, i'm sure he isn't gen-z enough to know what i really meant."

"yeah, but cheol will definitely understand once vernon tattles on you. i'd be lucky if i still have a boyfriend that's alive once the day ends."

for all your unsolicited concern, chan decides to lean forward and press a soft, chaste kiss on your lips. the expression on your face flits between surprise and endearment and irritation so quickly, chan almost laughs.

"that's what good pussy does to a motherfucker," he murmurs before pressing another kiss on the corner of your mouth. "now let me clean you up before i get in the mood to fuck you again."

⟢ end notes: this is probably the most unserious thing i've written in a while lmfao a million apologies if it only seems half coherent bc it is <333

[chilewithcarnage]

oh finally making that post on lore olympus and rachel smythe's supposed 'decline in art style' before I forget about it .

so in the original post, the blogger jokingly edited this tweet in reference to the original tweet on the right made by infamous ex-tumblr fan artist rcdarts. my problems with this post stems from in my opinion an unwarranted comparison and kind of 'grasping at straws' type of complaint to the way lore olympus' art looks. op of the post makes it seem like Smythe's art devolved; but if this is the type of critique you're trying to make it's got pretty weak legs to stand on. the above pictures are not good examples if you're trying to have a valid argument that lore olympus' proto art is better than how the comic ended up looking. you can argue that the character designs of the series are boring and safe considering they're based off of Greek gods as opposed to say the art in the supergiant Hades series. That's all well and good but to say that legitimately that first picture with gray Hades and orange Persephone is 'better' than the second feels disingenuous. From a technical standpoint, the art of the second image is better. The art in the first picture while decently drawn is much flatter and dull than the second. Second pic is definitely more visually interesting and has better usage of its colors/painting style. Though the palette is limited there's still visual depth and volume to it. Design wise I get a much better read of who these characters are and what they're like. Also second pic Hades and Persephone are much better proportioned than the first. Albeit it first pic looks like a wip, Hades' head looks huge in comparison to Persephone's (her torso also looks like it's kind of just floating over his, the limited composition and coloring doesn't make it feel like these two are actually touching/interacting with each other). I think a lot of the smoke lore olympus got (and still gets) is due to the main characters looking like a stereotypical 'booktok' romance couple; Hades being a tall sharp featured fit man in a suit and Persephone being a big bright eyed button nosed Disney princess esque young woman. But the first pic doesn't even divert from those tropes. It's pretty much the same visual dynamic except Hades gives less sugar daddy/mafia boss and more academic(?) shut in. And Persephone's is face is less rounded and her hairs shorter but that's about it in terms of design differences. I've never read lore olympus and don't plan to so I can't give any actual criticism to the series, but in this specific case where we're just judging art and visuals the claim of the older art being 'better' seems unfounded. I think what a lot of people that rag on how the series looks hate it because Smythe's style is very much a product of when she started getting popular. It's very much that early to mid 2010s tumblr fantasy style that a lot of women artists were doing (hence why I feel low-key why this and also Steven universe had/has so many haters is mainly due to misogyny, this is a very feminine art style). y'all need to understand that a person developing a more simplistic style is not equal to their skill devolving. The comparison to rcdarts to me is unjustified cause rcdarts actually did change for the worst. like how I just said simpler style =/= worst art, but rcd's work not only got simple but less visually interesting, less dynamic, utilized more static and dull posing/coloring, and over exaggeration to the point where characters were unrecognizable.

[benjineedssleep]

stardew valley* headcanons because i'm sick and the brainrot is real <3

i'm trying to get into the fandom but i'm scared so please interact >_< ...also if these have been said before i'M SORRY--

*mostly ass trio with some adjacent stuff because i love them sm =(((

ass trio like to collect old tech and physical media. abby collects old games and consoles, sam collects cds/vinyl, sebastian collects cds and movies (mostly vhs but he'll also fw dvds).

we all know sebastian's a ginger but how about abby cutting and dyeing his hair every month??? *melts*

speaking of dyeing hair, sam has darker hair like his mom but she helps him bleach and tone it. he started doing it to look more like his dad but it kinda just stuck.

jodi always wanted a daughter and for a while resented having two sons. though, the older she gets (and the more the learns about sam specifically) the less she silently resents them. she just asks sam if he wants to do certain things with her (like go get mani-pedis at the beginning of summer) and sam is always like 'FUCK YEAH' (minus the fuck, jodi hates cursing) because he loves his mom, loves self care, and isn't ashamed of either of those things.

sebastian is also a mama's boy. a really big mama's boy. he tells robin anything and everything and she's usually the first person he goes to, abby being the second.

abby/seb wlw/mlm solidarity. i don't make the rules. they are also bonded like cats and should not be separated. live laugh love platonic intimacy and soulmates. i'm talking abby playing with seb's hair, forehead kisses, dancing with each other just cause, etc. etc. <3

sam is so very midwest/5th wave emo coded. not explicitly those genres but i'm definitely talking american football, origami angel, sunny day real estate, etc. he's also into some dad rock because of kent. listening to mid-late 90s/2000s bands while in the car with his dad is a very fond memory of his.

sebastian my artist king!!! he's a bit of a perfectionist but he's really good and sometimes abby and sam ask him why he chose to pursue coding instead. he says it's because he doesn't wanna lose a fun hobby/form of self expression (and he's so real for that).

sebastian is entirely content with sitting in silence with people. he actually prefers it. come sit on his couch while he codes for hours on end and remind him to eat and drink and he'll love you forever. and if he's not coding, watch a movie or play a game that doesn't require insane co-op skills. anything that doesn't require him to talk too much or he'll probably end up spilling his guts by accident. will it make sense? no. but if he finds the words to describe how he's feeling, he's gonna say them.

on that note, sebastian is very bad at hiding his emotions and equally as bad at handling them. he's also the kind of guy that would let you come over just to rant, hand you some tissues if you cry, but wouldn't have much input.

sam, on the other hand, is very good at hiding his emotions and bottles things up for other people's sake. this comes from having to fill the role of his dad while he was away at war and step up as that father figure for vincent. he's very good at supporting you if you're upset but will probably fumble trying to find the proper words.

abby is like the middle ground, everything depending on the situation. though, she tends to be a bit hot headed; passive aggressive. if someone hurt you, she's already up wrapping her hands so she doesn't break them punching someone in the face.

speaking of abby being ready to throw hands, that girl is built, okay? she goes in the mines and swings that sword often enough to have some jacked ass arms and shoulders. she still likes being a pretty girl tho, don't get it twisted. she's just a jacked pretty girl >:3

abby and sam definitely bond quicker than sam and sebastian. they have a lot more things in common on the surface. their music tastes overlap a bit more, they're both the kind to cut up their clothes imperfectly for the vibes, and are equally as wild/bubbly.

abby!!! likes!!! to!!! rollerblade!!! inlines!!!! specifically!!! her and sam stay busting their ass in the town square.

sam's got a sleeper build for real. he's generally a bigger guy, in terms of height and such, but you wouldn't know he's got strength unless you saw him do something. working out is another thing he did casually to be like his dad but also, vincent was very needy when he was a toddler and he still likes to be carried around if jodi'll let sam do it.

jodi is a very soft, "hidden" supporter. she's the kind of mom that would have a pride pin/ribbon on her bag year round and randomly buy sam new music/skating equipment despite complaining about the noise/injuries.

robin is a very loud, "in your face" supporter. she also doesn't sugar coat a damn thing despite trying to look at things in a more optimistic light. she can and will embarrass you in front of your friends.

caroline is a reluctant, "if you must" supporter. she hates most of what abby chooses to do and takes a long time to warm up, but eventually comes around. it's usually the result of jodi and robin explaining to her that things are never that serious (like abby dyeing her hair and cutting her clothes up). sometimes she just needs to be reminded she too was young once.

vincent loves swearing and torments both jodi and penny with all the new ways he tries to curse without actually saying "bad words". see: "what the chicken butt!!!" (he definitely doesn't get it, but he tries to pretend he does.)

robin panic cooks/bakes at any inconvenience or event. you're hurt? sick? it's your birthday? you got a promotion? she's in the kitchen at the crack of dawn tearing the place apart to make something perfect. did i also mention she's a mess and will try to multitask, failing miserably? (there have been multiple times she's done the same step of a recipe twice because she forgot and it almost always ends up leading to massive batches of food she has to give away.)

okay i think that's enough... i can go on for literally ever y'all. i have so much brain rot. lmk if you want more cause i've got a whole 87k word fic to pull from (and also a bunch of other shit that floats around in my brain...)

p.s. i haven't posted the fic anywhere and don't plan on doing so until it's done. but i can share screenies... perhaps... hmnfjfjhgj

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook: By chance(short 1)

In which Jungkook gets to know his soulmate and can't help but fall deeper and deeper in love.

Tags/Warnings: Soulmate AU, Idol!Jungkook, slight angst, major fluff, no one asked but I still deliver, Jungkook having impure thoughts oops

Length: short/mid

Belongs to: By Chance

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"Did you order this much?" He laughs to himself as he brings in all the takeout boxes. You jump up to help, nodding eagerly, your phone now discarded on his couch. You've visited him after he'd asked if you wanted to spend some time with him- get to know him, seeing as you're soulmates.

"I haven't eaten all day - and honestly, I paid for it, so who cares! Those cinnamon bites will still taste good tomorrow morning for breakfast. And before you ask, I do plan on taking this stuff home with me if we don't finish it." You shrug, bringing the other boxes Jungkook couldn't hold into the living room.

"How much do I owe you?" He asks, already taking his phone out, and you just lick your finger after having opened some boxes to look what's what, shaking your head.

"Your honest opinion on the chicken, really. I've never ordered those, but they do look very hot right now, not gonna lie." You say, sitting down before stretching your legs. Your shorts reveal a tattoo on your leg that seems to travel high up- he's spotted a glimpse of something up to your rib when your stretched earlier, rising fabric of your shirt having also revealed a sparkling butterfly hanging from a silver piercing decorating your belly button. It makes him wonder how much more you hide away from his eyes, what might be there to discover for him.

You seem to be such a free spirit- an uncaged bird, open, colorful, exciting. You're infectious too, your bubbly nature easily making him feel all happy and relaxed. And he swears that's not just his soulmate bond speaking. He truly believes he would've at least developed a crush on you no matter the circumstances, really. You're cute, a little wild, testing him as if to see if he's able to tame you. You're exactly his type, not just physically.

Your beauty is simply a bonus- a pretty soul safely tucked into an equally pretty body.

"I love them, even if they're a little greasy. I've got a horrible love for fried foods." He laughs, sitting down to eat across from you.

"Would've never guessed." You smile. "Not to insult you, really. But I always thought every Idol, you know, is obsessed with dieting and staying away from anything that could have more calories than a carrot." You say, before holding a hand towards your mouth, eyes wide. "Oh my God, that sounded so rude, fuck!" You shake your head. "Now I cursed, I'm sorry, fuck- I mean not fuck, shit- I mean-" you whine to yourself putting your face in your hands while Jungkook laughs across from you.

"You're fine, really, it's okay." He reassures. "I'm not that sensitive, and honestly, a lot of idols do be like that." He shrugs.

"Maybe? I mean, I probably shouldn't even bring that topic up. I don't wanna be nosy." You say quietly, stealing a piece of chicken from him before you freeze in your motions. "Oh God I should've asked- why am I like this?!" You scold yourself, and he smiles brightly towards you.

"You're cute, nothing wrong with it." He flirts.

You look at him a little playfully suspicious before you continue eating. "If you're aiming at getting into my pants, I might have to disappoint you, mister." You say, and his eyes widen while he stops chewing for a second. "In front of you sits a very awkward virgin that's not even sure if she even likes sex, or kissing, or anything of that nature really. I'm just putting it out there, lay my cards on the table, I guess." You shrug before taking a sip of your soda.

"May I ask why?" He wonders respectfully, wiping his fingers on a napkin close by. "I'll respect your decision, obviously. I'm just curious, I guess." He clarifies, and you shrug.

"You've got every right to be." You nod, licking your lips. "I guess every guy has always been so.. pushy with it to the point where I didn't want to do it simply just to spite them." You explain, not looking at him. "Wanted to see how they'd react if I said that I didn't want to. You know, neither kiss nor have sex. Like a test, to see if they're any good." You tell him, and he nods.

"And none ever passed the test?" He asks, making you shrug as you look at him now.

"I mean, there's one who's on a pretty good road of maybe being the first to do just that." You say, and he smiles charmingly, fingers playing with his lip ring for a second before he turns serious again.

"All jokes aside, I really am okay with that." He says. "I didn't invite you here to fuck you, nor do I ever plan on doing that. Putting up a facade to tangle you into something, I mean. I'd fuck you if you'd want me to, just to be clear here." He tells you, reaching over to steal a few sips of your drink.

"Well, you stole an indirect kiss now, so that gonna be some points added to your fuckboy-ness." You say, crossing your arms- unaware probably that he now gets a very attractive sight of your cleavage now.

"We can easily make it a direct one too, if you want." He flirts again, and you stay quiet for a second, almost making him apologize- until you actually speak again, softly.

"I mean, I wouldn't mind.." you mumble.

"You don't have to push yourself." He tells you calmly. "I'm sorry if it felt like I was trying to convince you. I'm only joking around."

"No-" you start, looking everywhere but him. "-I, don't know, I actually do wanna try it with you. See if I like it." You say. "But, you know, only if you're up for it too."

"I'd be dumb to say no to kissing a pretty girl like you." He shrugs with a boyish smile before he gets up from the floor and squats down in front of you, his hands on your knees as you're still sitting on his couch. He chuckles at your shyness a bit before he slowly leans upwards, making sure to check until the very last second for any signs of you becoming uncomfortable. But that moment never comes, and when his lips make contact with yours for a short peck, your hands find his to hold onto, making him smile into the kiss before he parts from you. "Good? You're free to say if it wasn't, I'm really cool with that." He says, and you nod.

"Never really knew what to expect from a kiss, really." You shrug. "But it's nice. I liked it." You nod.

"Wait that was your first kiss?!" He now asks, and you nod.

"Wasn't that obvious? I thought I made it obvious." You laugh, and he laughs as well.

"I mean, I understood the virgin part, but I thought, you know, a pretty girl like you would've at least been kissed before." He says, and you playfully hit his chest, making him fall dramatically on his butt.

"Oh come on now prince charming, go eat your greasy chicken." You tease, making him grin.

Yeah- he really believes he's gonna fall for you. Maybe he already has.

Either way- he doesn't mind one bit.

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[erelavent]

I listened to the hour long high performance podcast with Otmar, which wasn't easy, he's pretty dry, but he drops some truth bombs. Tea is in Red, Interesting facts/stories are in Purple, My Opinions are in Green.

Here is a breakdown:

He discusses that his failure at Aston Martin was due to Lawrence Stroll wanting rapid success after he bought the team. He mentioned that AM was like a church with 2 popes because Martin Whitmarsh was installed into the team and took over 90% of his responsibilities, so he couldn't really do much. He didn't try to challenge the decision too much because Lawrence owned the team, and he has the right to change what he wants.

Over at Alpine, the failure was similar. He didn't have control over the entire team. He said neither the finance team nor HR, communications, or marketing reported to him, they reported to France. He didn't know that would be the case when he signed.

He also wants to clear up that he had nothing to do with Alpine fumbling Oscar Piastri. The failure to sign him and properly file the CRB happened in November, and he started in March. Alpine let him to the fall for their incompetence by putting his face on the press release. He states that the decision to do it was intentional and malicious because he asked the press officer about it and she was specifically told to do that 😭. He mentions that Alpine didn't care about on-track performance so much as the people in charge cared about their careers. Given the closing of the power unit development program, and the reported rampant corruption over there I'm inclined to agree with him.

He mentions that even though they didn't sign Oscar Piastri, they did deliver their end of the contract in giving him 5000km of running time in a 2-year old F1 car to ensure he had the experience to get his superlicense points. He thinks that Oscar not signing after Alpine essentially strung him along is unjust enrichment because he received the benefits of the contract without having to give anything back. We'll agree to disagree on that one.

He throws a bit of shade at Alpine by saying that when he was there, at least they were in the mid-field but now they're 9th in the championship.

He mentioned that when he was there Alpine was 25 horsepower down on power on their engine unit and that there is a gentleman's agreement between engine manufacturers that if you are low on horsepower (regardless of an engine freeze), you are allowed to get it back up and he was advocating for Alpine to get it back to equal levels with all the other manufacturers.

He got fired in a Zoom meeting by the head of HR at Renault, not the CEO of Alpine or a superior. Team principals, they're just like us.

He thinks he was fired because he disagreed on how to change the corporate culture at Alpine. They wanted him to get rid of people who had been at Alpine for a long time and were doing a good job and he disagreed because that sends the message that "Doing a good job gets you fired." He thinks this is directly tied to the collapse of Alpine because all their best staff are currently at other teams.

He said if this ever happened again, he would require that he owns all aspects of leadership at a team rather than having them report to his higher ups. That's common sense I fear. He should have learned that lesson at Aston Martin.

He quoted Peter Drucker by saying "Culture eats strategy for breakfast", which shouldn't have been as surprising to me as it was lmao. They're both Austrian-American management guys but like it caught me off guard.

He discusses the need for psychologically safe environments in F1 teams so people are free to make mistakes and improve without fear of your team member or management stabbing you in the back.

He discusses how applying the theory of a psychologically safe environment is easy when you're winning but much harder when you backslide (*cough* Mercedes *cough*). He says that in times of difficulty, leaders have to be able to take responsibility when they make mistakes because it sets the tone for others. However, it's complicated in an F1 team because not all leaders at each strata may implement this strategy so it's not as effective.

He discusses the need for empathy in making the workplace a safe and enjoyable space because that looks different for everyone, some people care about getting paid more and some care about the breadth and depth of work they get to do.

At this point, the interview starts to sound less like a podcast and more like a job interview. Idk if the hosts realize they're doing this but they're asking "How did you as a TP change the work culture?" "How did you ensure the workspace was enjoyable?" and they're making him give examples. it's not really a conversation so much as him listing his strengths and weaknesses and using the STAR method, but we power on.

He discusses Racing Point and how he personally recruited half the team after assessing what they were lacking compared to other F1 teams. He mentions that the only way he was able to poach top talent at other teams was by creating a culture that made people want to work there.

He talks about how he got clever with the Racing Point budget to make the team an enjoyable place to work including shopping for work benches at Costco (I agree Costco keeps the cost low).

He tells this funny story about Lawrence Stroll taking a tour of the factory to determine whether or not to buy the team. Lawrence walks in to the electronics department to find them instrumenting a front wing with an engineer on a stool balancing the wing on a trash can to get it at the right height.

He said that Vijay Mallya was really hands off at Racing Point which made for a successful team because the team was able to do what they do best without a micromanager watching over them.

He says that compared to Vijay, Lawrence is the opposite because he's completely financially and emotionally invested in the team but it works because Lawrence hates losing and he's not afraid to put his money where his mouth is.

He confirms the story that TWICE, with his partner at Soft Pauer, he paid the salaries of all Racing Point employees out of his own pocket because the payment for F1 was coming in late (he mentioned that by the end of his tenure, there were 408 employees and it was in the millions for pay). With the exception of the higher ups and the finance department, the employees didn't know. He said it was a risk because the money from F1 might not have come or it could have come in and being relegated to other causes and he might not have gotten the money back.

I'm sorry but I'm not gonna clap for Otmar for paying the Force India employees' salaries out of pocket TWICE because how much money was he making to be able to afford to do that in the first place? Does that not speak to an extreme disparity in pay between the team principal and the other employees? It's like when a CEO makes 200 times the average worker. Maybe instead of paying out of pocket, you should have shrunk the pay gap and put the extra funds in an emergency fund for moments when pay would be late.

He said he paid it twice to maintain team morale, even though he didn't tell the employees because why would he, he's not trying to lord it over them.

After he is asked how he gets his business partner who doesn't even work for Racing Point to help pay for the team's salaries and how he poached Andrew Green from Red Bull, Otmar talks about building trusting relationships by listening to the lowest dissenter rather than dismissing them while still giving weight to subject matter experts.

Otmar mentions that what he likes most about F1 is the immediacy of the competition. You see results almost immediately week after week as opposed to waiting 4 years at a car company to see results (he compares it to his days working at Ford).

Otmar says that ideally, he would like a build a new American-backed F1 team in 2-3 years with the right people.

"We're a sport, supposedly." —Otmar Szafnauer (lmao). He mentioned that out of the hundreds to thousands of people working on an F1 team, only 2 are actually sportsmen. So, in reality teams in F1 are really just technological development companies.

In that vein, you respect the drivers but also need to make it known that they don't know everything. He mentions that drivers are supreme athletes but for a lot of them, that came at the cost of a formal education (place your bets as to who he's talking about) so you treat them differently to say, an aerodynamicist.

The host says that this episode was likely filmed 1-2 days after Daniel liked drove in F1 for the last time. I'm not sure if he means Singapore or any of the other times Daniel was rumored to have his last drive. The host asks if, due to this lack of education, we (the general audience of F1) are to harsh on drivers when they underperform. Otmar says F1 is a meritocracy and thus teams have to do what is needed to ensure they perform best in the championship including dropping a driver midseason based on the availability of other drivers and their stats. I disagree, F1 is definitely not a meritocracy.

He mentions that when Logan was dropped, he thought that his replacement would need 3-4 races to adjust but he was wrong because Franco Colapinto got up to speed almost immediately. So though it's a tough position to be in, he understands the need to maintain positions in the WCC.

Otmar says that Daniel was a brilliant driver and he's unsure if his decline is due to confidence because the engineers at Alpine (Renault at the time) sang Daniel's praises and he knows that he eventually outperformed Nico Hulkenberg.

Best driver Otmar worked with is Seb at Aston Martin because of his relentless work ethic. He explains that during restarts, Seb would ask the engineers to measure which part of the track had the highest grip so that in the off chance he was in the lead, he would know to accelerate in that area giving him an advantage over the other drivers. He liked that Seb left no stone unturned and he admired that.

Driver Otmar would never like to work with again is Rubens Barichello (he chose him cuz he's old lol). He tells the story of Rubens complaining that the tyre was shifting on it's rim and underbraking. Otmar thought he was making it up because he didn't think he could feel that and that it was more likely that the grip would deteriorate before the seal for the tyre rim did but Rubens was adamant so they marked it. They checked at the end and it had moved a few degrees but he felt it.

Otmar would have loved to be a TP to either Max or Lando (he knows Lando's dad). He thinks Lando is too hard on himself and if he could be more positive, it would suit him well. He talks about injecting him with some American optimism.

Otmar talks about his other business, EventR. Its an interactive and collaborative itinerary and he created it while at Aston Martin to deal with logistics and changes in a more streamlined way.

TLDR; this entire podcast was a job interview of Otmar's effective leadership and why a team should hire him.

[itneveroccurredtomeatall]

Random snippets from Poolverine fics that are in the works

I 100% failed kinktober this year for a variety of reasons and ended up with just one fic, but I did start several other ones (so maybe that counts for something?)

We have:

-something inspired by the Platform movie (this feels like it would be on the longer side)

-something where Wade accesses a TVA monitor and sees different versions of him & Logan (probably shorter)

-something that combines Gutenberg! The Musical! and Poolverine (this is definitely ridiculous and not sure who the audience is for this other than me, but if you are also super into Gutenberg & Poolverine, please reach out!!!!!! Also, I've tried to think about what an actual Gutenberg fic would look like for months but haven't managed to come up with anything yet)

-something where Wade keeps trying to tell Logan he loves him but things go really wrong (until one day they start going really right)

And then there's all the planned kinktober ones I never finished, but hopefully I'll finish some those eventually and also get to some of these!

Snippets below:

Something inspired by the Platform movie When Logan woke up, the first thing he noticed was just how uncomfortable he was. His back was aching, and he didn’t have to wonder why. He could feel his weight pressing down on the metal bars through the thin mattress.

He had known prison, much less the Pit, wasn’t meant to be comfortable, but he had hoped for a little more than this.

Then again, he deserved worse.

He groaned as he sat up, the bed’s creaks echoing the creaking in his joints.

“Well, good morning, sleepy head! Or should I say afternoon? Or evening? You know, it’s pretty dark down here 24/7 and I’ve completely lost track of time, so let’s keep it simple and stick with good morning.”

Logan snapped his gaze in the direction of the voice and found his cellmate sitting cross-legged on an identical bed on the opposite side of the room. A large, square gap in the floor separated them.

“Don’t tell me your name or your food, I’m gonna guess.”

Logan had never been a morning person, which meant he was far too groggy to protest.

“Let’s see. Your personal item is,” the man leaned forward, his bed groaning unhappily under his shifting weight, “brass knuckle claws? I promise I’ll be on my best behavior, pretty kitty.”

Something where Wade accesses a TVA monitor and sees different versions of him & Logan

The thing about Wade is he can’t help himself. He never has been. Not that he has really tried all that hard.

So, when he’s left unattended in the TVA and explicitly told to, “Sit. Stay. Don’t look at the monitors,” he stands, walks across the room to get a better view, and stares at the fucking monitors because he really wants to know why Thor was crying.

Only that blond hunk of Asgardian God isn’t on any of the monitors. Instead, nearly every screen shows him and Logan. Well, different versions of them. Their multi-verse selves.

There’s one where they’re both drinking at the same bar sitting right next to each other but don’t seem to know each other. Wade hopes the other version of him goes home, realizes what he’s missed out on, and posts on Craigslist Missed Connections.

Then, there’s the one where they’ve got wings. Like actual fucking angel wings. Only Wade’s are cancer-ridden, judging by the looks of them, and Logan’s are going gray. And he’s not gonna lie, it’s kind of hot. They’re fighting in this universe, too. Only it’s at least four times as cool because they’re doing it mid-flight.

Apparently, there’s a universe where they’re both… cats? (And not like those cute pet kitties you find in a box on the side of the road and beg your mother to let you keep. They’re closer to Andrew Lloyd Weber nightmare fuel cats.) And they’re tussling in an alleyway. They’re feral and kind of hideous, and Wade appreciates that, for once, he and Logan are equally unattractive.

But what really catches his eye is the one where they’re them — and they're making out. It’s hot and heavy, but also surprising sweet.

And, yeah, he touches himself that night.

Again, he can’t help himself.

Something that combines Gutenberg! The Musical! and Poolverine

Schlimmer was a shitty place, to be honest.

Wade knew it. Honestly, everyone knew it.

It was right there in the name. Worse.

It was filthy. Full of dirty floors, large rats, and thatched roofs.

And the people weren’t much better than their dreary surroundings.

Beef Fat Trimmer would never shut his goddamn mouth about trimming the fat off the beef. Doctor had never saved a life in his life. Bootblack and Daughter had some weird relationship going on. Wade couldn’t quite pinpoint what was off with them, but there was definitely something wrong there. Another Woman was a major gossip.

And Blind Al. Well, Blind Al was alright sometimes, he supposed. But she was old, blind, cranky, and, quite often, very high on cocaine. (To be fair, Wade was also regularly very high on cocaine.)

In Wade’s opinion, the only thing worth a damn in Schlimmer was Logan.

Yes, Logan was technically his boss. But what’s a little inter-wine-press-shop romance in the 1400s?

Something where Wade keeps trying to tell Logan he loves him but things go really wrong (until one day they start going really right)

The next time, they were walking down the street side by side snacking on hot dogs (kinda Freudian, if you ask him). The sun was just starting to set, and the way it splashed across Logan’s face as he devoured his hot dog in a few short bites made Wade’s stomach clench.

“Hey, Logan. I think I—”

And because the universe hates him and they were strolling around in New York City with street cart hot dogs, a group of pigeons flew overhead. One nearly beamed him with its wings. Then, one actually clipped his hot dog with its wings, knocking it to the dirty concrete. And another shit directly on his fucking head.

Moment. Ruined.

But he’s not even particularly mad about that because the bark of laughter Logan had let out when he’d realized what had happened still plays through Wade’s mind every now and then.

[the-lazyyy-artist]

Pairing: Satoru Gojo x Fem!Reader (Established Relationship) Synopsis: A family reunion and an annual office party set on the same day caused you two to miss each other's parties as each other's plus ones. Themes: fluff and a bit of a brain blurb. I missed writing and I missed this era of PTX (the song has been on replay for days!!) Author's note: this fic is kinda mid.

"Whyyyyy?"

You giggled at Satoru's reaction. He started to whine and fake cry the moment you told him that their annual office party and your family reunion were set on the same day, causing you to attend separate events and not be each other's plus ones. "Why must it be the same day?" he whined again.

"Baby, it was already planned months ago. I thought you knew," you respond, tackling him on the bed as he pouted. Indeed, he knew. He just forgot. "So, would that mean I won't see you in a pretty summer dress at our annual party by the pool?" he asked. You shook your head, pouting along with him. "I'm afraid I'm gonna miss it this year, sweetie. My grandparents are gonna miss you, too! They're really looking forward to seeing you again this year after our visit last year."

That made Satoru sulk even more. "I can just skip the party, baby," he told you, pulling you closer to him as he nuzzled against the crook of your neck. You sighed, leaning your head against his. "But you should be there, am I correct? Your presence in every office event is always required... well, everyone should be there."

"Can't you skip the reunion?" he asked, his blue eyes pleading. You laughed and shook your head. "I'm afraid I can't, baby," you respond, "everyone's gonna be there and I really want to see my nieces and nephews after so long."

And with that, Satoru sighed and nodded. "Alright, okay. We can't really negotiate this one because our events are equally important to us." He pouted and laid back on the bed. "Would it be fine if I call you from time to time then?"

"During the party? Of course!"

"Perfect," he said, smiling, "that would make me feel like we're still together."

The day of your events came, and Satoru drove you to the location of your family reunion. "I wanna say hi to everyone first before I leave for the party," he told you. This was one of the things that you love about Satoru. He always respected and adored your family. He once told you that he finally appreciated family events since he never got to experience one before, and he made sure to make an effort when you two visited your parents or your grandparents.

Once you two were out of the car, the first one to greet Satoru was your dear grandmother, who made sure that everyone knew that her favorite out of everyone in the family was Satoru. "Oh, my sweetheart! It's so good to see you again!" she cooed as she embraced Satoru. He leaned to meet your grandmother's small height and scooped her in a hug. "Grandma! I'm so glad you still remember me!"

"Of course! How could I even forget my granddaughter's handsome and charming boyfriend," she responded, pulling away from the embrace to pinch Satoru's cheek. She then pulled you two inside the venue and introduced Satoru to other relatives that he never met yet. He was smiling so wide, and he felt his heart was so full of appreciation as each one smiled and shook his hand, and made a few jokes, kids immediately smiling and asking questions about his hair or his height or who he was despite your grandmother loudly announcing that he was your soon-to-be husband.

Your parents then came to greet the two of you, asking about how the trip was, and then your father asked, "Are you gonna stay for the party?" Satoru smiled politely and shook his head. "I'm afraid I'm gonna skip this one out. Our company's annual party is also today."

"Oh, that's too bad," your mother said, "but I hope next time, you'll be here with us, okay?"

Satoru bid everyone goodbye, repeating the same answer if they asked why he was leaving. Your grandmother was slightly devastated by this and gave Satoru souvenirs from our hometown.

"Be careful, okay?" you reminded him, smoothing the sleeves of his Hawaiian shirt, "be sure to enjoy the party but don't drink too much."

"Oh, darling. Who says I'll be drinking?" he responded, wiggling his brows at you. You laughed and pushed his face away. "I'm serious! You might drown in the pool," you joked. He laughed along with you.

"Don't worry, I'll be responsible," he said, lifting your hand to kiss your knuckles, "and besides, Suguru would be there to help me out."

"Hmm, alright then."

The annual party was already in full swing after a few speeches and games, and Satoru already felt tipsy with the alcohol he'd consumed. Despite bragging that he can handle his alcohol very well, he'd still feel tipsy after a few shots or glasses of champagne. That's when he decided to give you a call.

Ring, ring, ring, ring, then a click.

"Baby," he said softly, walking away from the crowd, "how's my pretty girl?"

You smiled at the sound of his voice, walking away from the children's table. Satoru can hear the kids' peals of laughter through the phone, and then silence. "I'm good, just entertaining the kids. The grown-ups are now at the drinking table," you told him, cradling the phone against your ear. You heard Satoru hum through the speaker, and then he said, "I miss you here. It's no fun if I can't have you here dancing with me."

"We'll dance when we get home tomorrow."

"No, it's way different. I really miss you."

"Baby, did you drink?"

There was a pause. On the other line, Satoru was cradling a red cup in his hand, moving on from the champagne being served earlier. "Yeah, I bit of champagne."

"Not too much, okay?"

Then Satoru heard someone call your name on your end, and you let them know you'll be back in a second. "Go now, sweetheart," he murmured on the speaker, "I'll call again later."

"I love you, Satoru."

"I love you more."

In a turn of events, Satoru's world was now in a dizzy trance and his phone was out the whole time, taking videos of everyone being pushed on the pool and some jumping in, of people dancing around, taking pictures of Suguru, Shoko, and Kento, and a few selfies. "I'll show these to her tomorrow," he loudly announced as he took another swig of his drink. By the time he finally hit his limit, he was already sluggishly leaning against a tree, his phone out as he tried to call you.

Ring, ring, ring, then silence.

He took another look at his phone, and all he could see was a black screen. "Fuck," he cursed under his breath. Dead battery. How is he gonna call you now? He slowly moved away from the tree and uncoordinatedly walked towards Suguru. "Suguru," he slurred, practically throwing himself to the other man. Suguru was swift enough to catch him, then set him down on a nearby seat. "Gimme yer phone," Satoru slurred, his half-lidded and intoxicated gaze set on Suguru's shorts pocket, "gimme, please."

"Woah, slow down Satoru," Suguru cooed, fishing his phone from his pocket then snapped a picture of Satoru's drunk state. He snickered then returned his attention to Satoru. "Why do you need my phone, Satoru?" he asked, holding Satoru by the shoulders to keep him up. "Need t'call'er," Satoru slurred again, unable to keep his head up. Suguru sighed, then unlocked his phone again. "I don't have her number," Suguru replied. "No, no, I know her number," Satoru said, looking up at Suguru. Despite being drunk, he has perfectly dictated your number to Suguru.

Ring, ring, ring, then a click.

"Hello?" Your voice flowed out of the speaker and Suguru raised his brows in amusement. "Hi, this is Suguru. I wasn't sure if Satoru said the correct number but turns out he knows your number by heart."

"Oh, that man. Is he drunk?"

"Very," Suguru replied, looking down at his friend. "He wants to talk to you though."

Suguru handed the phone to Satoru, and then he started to whine. "Babyy! Baby, I'm s'sorry! I haven't called back. I miss you; I miss you s'much!"

"It's okay baby," you cooed through the phone, "did you have fun?"

"I'd have more fun if yer here, baby..."

Satoru suddenly hiccupped and then Suguru told him to sit up. "I miss you... do you miss me? Please tell me you miss me..."

"I do, I miss you so much..."

"I'm sorry I didn't behave myself. I got drunk and now I just miss you so much. I can't wait to see you tomorrow. Please come home to me tomorrow. I wanna see you... Please stay forever..."

And you know you should be mad at him for drinking too much, but all you can think of is how Satoru still has you on top of his mind despite the chaos of the party.

"I'll be home tomorrow baby, and I'll stay forever. Don't worry too much. Now, I need you to rest up for tonight, okay?"

"M'kay..."

"And make sure you thank Suguru for taking care of you."

"Thanks, Suguru," he slurred.

"Hang up now, baby. I love you."

You heard Satoru chuckle and he started to make kiss noises from the other side of the line, and then Suguru told him to quit that.

"I love you more and more and most!"

[markantonys]

considering i've become an avid galadriel/adar shipper when they've only had a few scenes together all told, it's interesting to look at them to pick out the key ingredients of what is most likely to get me hooked on an enemies-to-lovers and specifically a hero/villain ship. yes you guessed it, i'm gearing up for a compare/contrast with mat/tuon, who had abundant screentime and yet sucked absolute ass throughout all of it in my opinion. i AM an enemies-to-lovers & hero/villain shipper at heart, so honestly a writer has to actively try pretty hard to make me dislike one, and boy did RJ put every ounce of his effort into the task lmao

anyway, some of The Key Ingredients Of Compelling Hero/Villain, To Me (many of which i remember discussing with @butterflydm during her queen of attolia read, since gen/attolia are also a well-done example of hero/villain and hit on a lot of these same ingredients, though i'll keep this post to comparing just the other 2 ships for the sake of not yapping even more than i already am)

1. equal power balance

whether it be in terms of rank, influence, physical fighting abilities, intelligence, whatever, i like it best when the Hero & Villain we're shipping can go toe-to-toe with each other, and when they take turns holding the power in a given situation. among galadriel and adar's few scenes, we've had a good mix between galadriel having the upper hand and adar having the upper hand. we've even had scenes where who has the upper hand switches mid-scene (such as galadriel holding adar captive but then adar verbally getting under her skin and unnerving her).

by contrast, tuon ALWAYS has the upper hand over mat in all their scenes. always always always. RJ had a weird aversion towards letting tuon be put in a vulnerable position or letting her be genuinely challenged, and so all the time they spend together is tuon treating mat like a pet dog and mat going along with it because he's desperate to win her favor (contrary to all his established characterization). this does not make for a compelling, narratively tense hero/villain ship buildup; it's a boring, static dynamic that gives you secondhand embarrassment for mat and his utter lack of self-respect. what makes it even worse is that the natural dynamic SHOULD be an equal one, because pre-COT mat is just as clever as tuon, just as stubborn, just as strong (physically and mentally), and because tuon holds the cards when they're on her turf in ebou dar but mat should logically hold the cards when they're on HIS turf in the roadtrip. but for whatever reason, RJ just........ignored all that and made tuon bizarrely infallible and butchered mat's characterization to make him tuon's yes-man and rob their dynamic of all its natural balance and conflict and push-and-pull tension.

2. mutual respect

this goes hand-in-hand with point #1. when you start with a pair of enemies who hate and oppose each other, the best ingredient to use as that first foundation layer to begin building romance off of is a grudging mutual respect. adar and galadriel may hate each other, but they take each other seriously and consider each other a force to be reckoned with, which ties back to them having an equal power balance.

and on a more personal level, adar does seem to have some true respect for galadriel, seen in moments like him greeting her formally in elvish and being surprisingly polite to her and serving her up a nice dinner (though of course he's also trying to butter her up so she'll confide her plans in him; still, there is an element of genuineness in his behavior, it's not all manipulation the way sauron's interactions with everyone are). and sam has said in interviews that adar respects her and in some ways craves her respect too since she represents his lost place among his fellow elves.

not sure if galadriel has any respect for him haha but his s1 line "i'm not the only elf who's been transformed by darkness" really hit her hard and their s2 convo about sauron added to that, so that she does see how he holds up a mirror to her, i think, and in that, there's sooome amount of, if not respect, at least recognizing common ground (more on that in point #4). she also may have gained some respect for him in this week's episode after seeing him at the orc funeral (more on that in point #3). and i'd say that to me, Villain respecting Hero early on is more important than the reverse, especially if we're gearing up for a "Hero inspires Villain to be better" version of hero/villain romance rather than a "Villain makes Hero worse" version. (for me the latter version feels better-suited to tragedies or dark romance stories or fanfic, whereas the former version is more thematically and tonally appropriate for an in-canon romance in something like ROP or WOT, stories that at their core are about hope and light triumphing over darkness. thinking more about mat/tuon on this point since obvs adar/galadriel isn't and will never be an actual in-canon romance, but mat/tuon is and thus it should feel thematically and tonally compatible with the overall canon story.)

anyway, mat and tuon do not have mutual respect. tuon considers him a joke and a toy for a looooong chunk of their acquaintance, only realizes "huh maybe he's an actual person with a brain?" when she sees that he has a big army willing to follow him, but even then, this does not change her behavior towards him in any way and she continues to treat him like her lapdog who will never even think of disobeying her. and mat IS that lapdog who will never think of disobeying her, because RJ decided to remove his spine between WH and COT. mat does "respect" tuon but only in a warped sense of "i need to appease her at all times or else she might enslave me" (and that's on his good days; on his bad days he genuinely buys into the "the empress is inherently superior to lesser mortals" bullshit). mat's "respect" is borne from fear and author contrivance and OOC writing, and tuon doesn't respect him at all. and so the power imbalance and the respect imbalance sets us up perfectly for a "Villain makes Hero worse" version of a hero/villain romance, aka the opposite of what would feel thematically and tonally appropriate with the story of WOT.

3. witnessing each other's vulnerability (especially Hero, and audience, witnessing Villain's vulnerability)

bold, star, and underline this point because it is ESSENTIAL. in order for Hero and Villain to start viewing each other differently, they MUST be allowed to see each other be vulnerable. they must be allowed to see the walls come down and gain a new understanding of the other person from it. otherwise how could they ever have a reason to second-guess their hatred and start changing their opinion of their enemy?

once again, adariel passes with flying colors in only a few brief scenes. a lot of stuff gets laid bare in their conversation about how sauron hurt both of them (even if they're both being careful in what they choose to say or keep hidden), but the moment that made me most insane was this week when galadriel is sneaking through the camp and, unbeknownst to adar, witnesses him crying over fallen orcs and partaking in a tender funeral ritual. the "unbeknownst to adar" aspect is so key, because unlike their sauron convo, adar isn't putting on any masks or curating what he wants her to see or hear. it's just his pure, unfiltered vulnerability which galadriel gets to see, and we can see that it really surprises her and gives her pause, and perhaps does a little something to change the way she sees him and orcs more broadly.

and once again, mat and tuon fail spectacularly. it comes back to RJ's aversion to letting tuon ever be placed in a position of vulnerability. mat never gets to witness her as anything but the cool, controlling empress. he never gets to see behind her mask. and the audience doesn't really either, because even in her own POV, even in her own head, tuon is constantly masked-up and rarely reveals vulnerability. so we aren't given evidence to suggest that tuon is a real person under the mask and might be worthy of loving and being loved, and we CERTAINLY don't see MAT being given any evidence to suggest that. he just randomly decides he loves her for no reason when all he's ever seen from her is arrogance and coldness and shitty treatment of all the people around her including himself.

4. some point of emotional connection/common ground that transcends the battle lines they've drawn with each other

galadriel and adar have both loved and then been hurt and used by sauron. for galadriel especially with the pain being so fresh, all season we see how hard it is for her to cope with and we see that no one around her really gets it, not even her closest friend, but the convo with adar - she's having her pain understood and validated and shared for the first time, and that's huge. as the actors have said, it's also a very depressing and fucked up point of commonality to have as the thing tying them together haha but having that initial trigger for an emotional common ground is important in making it possible for the relationship to evolve into something less hostile. (which does not happen in canon, but it's easy to see a path where it could.)

i feel like mat and tuon enjoying playing stones together and bonding with olver is RJ's attempt to do this, but considering how incredibly vast the ocean between them is and how polarly opposed each is to everything the other stands for, those points of commonality are way too shallow to create a connection meaningful enough to begin bridging that gap in a believable way. because TRUE emotional connection has to come from vulnerability, and RJ never lets tuon be vulnerable!

that's all i've got for now! thankfully, most of these problems are not hard to fix and i have faith wotshow will do so, given how good it is at characterwork and relationship development and emotional stuff. also, worth noting that a big factor in my galadriel/adar shipping is simply that the actors have amazing chemistry (it never occurred to me to ship galadriel and joseph's adar even though they acted brilliantly opposite each other - their barn scene was my favorite moment of the season - but i INSTANTLY shipped galadriel and sam's adar because they just have a different sort of spark between them), and so casting alone could do a heck of a lot of legwork for mat/tuon. donal!mat is sooooooo charming and shippable, i truly look forward to seeing a tuon who sparks really well off him!

[loquarocoeur]

hii hope youre having a good day

just pop in here to say that my all time fav scene in yours verse is somehow still that scene when max cried into charles' chest and tell charles he loves him and charles said it back, closely follow by the scene where max got over his reservations and climbed into charles' lap mid ferrari meeting

idk theres just something about scenes that are so glaringly apparent how equally besotted theyre at each other, especially max

thank u for writing them because honestly, i need these gay men to be happy so i can function as a normal human being

Aww yeah those were pretty good scenes🥺🥰

Idk about irl lestappen, but I can promise you yours verse lestappen are very very happy right now. They're holding hands over breakfast while Charles is refusing to let go even if he's struggling to eat with his left hand and Max is making fun of him. They are very happy and very in love

[rmbunnie]

Another little inconsequential red hood thing and I'll admit that I'm decently biased but it irks me to see the whole "Jason can't shut up about his death/he makes his death everyone else's problem" take really frequently because he simply does not do that enough for it to be a thing in like any actual Red Hood story.

It's a thing you see sometimes in modern annuals/comics with large casts, particularly if a writer doesn't seem super confident with writing all of the characters that they're working with or if he's just a background character in this one, because with comics it's quicker to reduce a character to recognizable landmarks than to try and work out a whole new complex voice if you don't really need to, so it's tire iron, Jane Austen, Joker, and death, and it's all written out in dialogue because every character in a group event can't have their own internal monologue, but like. That's pretty much it. UTRH is the establishing event for Jason Todd post death so of course a lot of it is about his death, although it's arguably about the lack of response to his death more than his death itself, and he certainly makes it Bruce's issue but one beef doesn't make a trend. Plus if his death is anyone's issue beyond his own Bruce and Joker are like the number one guys whose issue it is. He THINKS about his death a ton in Lost Days, but it doesn't really reflect externally on any of his interactions besides with Joker, which again, that's justified and relevant beef. Teen Titans 29 is more about his place in the hero community/feeling like he was an outsider even before the bomb/Tim being the new robin than about his death, and side note, that being counted as an attempt on Tim's life also bugs me. He beat him up and then left of his own volition. That's not an assassination attempt its called a fight, albeit a sneaky and unfair one. But anyways. I can't speak on Battle for the Cowl because i haven't read it, both that and Batman and Robin 2009 don't really compel me, but it's entirely possible that's an outlier to my point seeing as I kinda sorta haven't read it and don't care to lmao. Even New 52 (although HIGHLY unpopular) and Rebirth/Dawn of DC/Whatever we're doing now Red Hood content don't really have him talking to people about it besides the occasional little quips. He might make stances that were developed because of his death other people's problem, like in the Mia Dearden Green Arrow situation with the "getting involved in other people's business" issue, but acting like he makes specifically his death everyone else's problem is ignoring all of the perfectly valid actually canon things he makes other people's problem. Most of the unpleasant traits he brings to the table are a result of his death and the sense of abandonment and betrayal that came with it, but that doesn't mean he's bringing his death into it when he acts unpleasantly any more than he's bringing his birth into it when he shows up in the first place. The consequences do not equal the event. All this to say it's irritating when people say the character is grating because he doesn't stop whining about his death when that kinda just indicates to me that they're working off fanon based on fanon based on kinda mid batman annual.

[theramseyloft]

When it comes to bonding and pairing behavior, how strong can some pairs be versus others? I have birds that are actively cheating on each other and others that fiercely defend each other and aren’t interested in other birds. I’m also wondering if how to split up biological siblings that have bonded and become mates

That's about the gamut. XD

Sexual fidelity has absolutely nothing to do with pigeon marriage.

What pigeons consider faithfulness from their partner is that they share the same roost at night, their mate gets first dibs when either bird wants sex, and they share both nesting and peep feeding duty equally.

As long as their partner is sated, they really don't care who their other half mounts or propositions.

Serket, for example, only has eyes for

Titan, his gigantic wife.

That exclusivity is mutual.

Titan has a fair few admirers!

Literally all the single boys want her and a few of the married boys will make a pass.

Sher will throw his little hat into the ring for anyone, despite being happily married to

Cotta's sister, Taffeta.

Sterling (single) used to be mated to Taffeta, but she left him for a cock whose family returned him.

After he went to a new family, she paired up with Sher, who has never had a mate.

Sterling makes passes at her and Titan about equally.

Ninka (single) was mated to Sage, the Chinese Owl, but as I opted to move away from that breed, I adopted her out.

Titan is his favorite hen to pursue, and he does it by kicking her husband out of any nest he tries to settle in.

Serket is tiny, so there isn't much he can do about it.

Orchid is obsessed with Titan and down right obnoxious about trying to shove Serket off of her and tread her while she's presenting.

There are SO many videos on my youtube and TikTok of Titan getting fed up with his bullshit and punching his face.

When that doesn't work, she bites the absolute fool out of him and snatches out neck feathers.

Serket and Titan are actually in the background of this photo, because I called Orchid's name to snap the shot mid harassment.

Serket is doing his absolute damnedest to body block Orchid from Titan.

You'll notice there are two very different sets of behaviors directed towards a Cock's wife and his side chick.

Wife gets the whole courtship ritual from dancing to chasing, to nest selection to kissing, and then she will present for him to tread.

Side chick just presents and he steps up on top of her, mounts her, and they're done: wham, bam, thank you ma'am.

A cock can have however many side chicks he wants, but usually only keeps one specific mate, whose nest he helps build, whose eggs he takes a turn setting, and whose chicks he helps feed and then teaches how to pigeon when they wean.

I have observed exactly one pigeon who I would classify as Polyamorous.

Ferdi had five wives!

Not a wife and four regular side chicks!

Five wives that he cycled through!

He'd be teaching the weaned peeps from one wife, helping feed a second's nestlings, taking his turn sitting the third's eggs, mating number four, and nest hunting/reaffirming with number five at any given time.

I retired him because I worried he was going to work himself to death!

Never seen another instance of it, but I have seen a whole range of sexualities and gender expression from pigeons.

But, yeah, what you're seeing in your flock is pretty normal.

Dad doesn't care who filled the eggs, as long as they are laid in his nest.

Mom doesn't care who else's eggs Dad fills, so long as he helps her hatch and raise hers.

Different individuals are different degrees of sexually faithful.

Makes keeping track of bloodlines a pain, but domestic animals are happiest when they can express natural behaviors.

Because of the way peeps tend to bond with in their age group, it's not uncommon for siblings to bond as mates if no other clutches hatch.

You have mentioned wanting to breed for companionship.

So in order to decide what to do about the two siblings, you need to consider which you are keeping and why.

Breeding is a selective process.

If you have all the pairs you need, you really only want to keep the *best* of their offspring.

Do you have any goal more specific than temperament?

With external traits, you'll have an idea of which to keep early on, if one or the other is an improvement in the desired traits over the parents.

But temperament is really hard to work out before the bird is fully mature.

That's one of those lessons I learned by experience. >.<

So, when the buildings are moved over, repaired, and ready for birds again, I will be keeping each pair's first clutch to evaluate for the first 6 months, and hatch controlling in the meantime.

When the peeps are fully developed, they will be evaluated against each other, and their parents.

Whichever offspring is an improvement over both parent's faults with a better temperament than the more skittish parent, that one will stay, the parents will be made available as a pair, and the sibling will be made available.

I hope to limit inbreeding this way, and prevent crowding.

If you just don't want offspring out of the siblings, hatch control as long as they are together.

Plastic or wooden eggs are your best friend!

[receding-tides]

Making this post so I can point at it later if any of these are right but behold. My splatoon 3 final splatfest theories

Option 1 (the most obvious): Deep Cut vs Off the Hook vs Squid Sisters

Two different ways this could go. They probably have the assets to make it so that each team is actually led by the group of it's namesake (maybe the splatfest tee colours would have the signature colours of the group as either a gradient or pretty tie-dye stuff, and the ink colours in matches would be random but made sure they're at least visibly different. oth vs ss would pick one pink one green for example). The hub worlds would show the colours for that team. The main reasons I don't think they would do this are a) the news segment would be complicated (would they be switching between studios mid-scene? is everyone just crowded into deep cut's one ???) and b) the Inkopolis hub worlds are dlc

The other way they could do this is for OtH and SS to be represented by Frye and Big Man respectively, because we do sort of now have a set-up where each member of Deep Cut has a specific connection to each idol group. Shiver is the leader of Deep Cut (via Splatfest Results Only), Frye has now gained some kind of bestie rivalry with Pearl, and Big Man has been making music with the Squid Sisters. While I don't think it would be in-character for Frye or Big Man to choose those groups over Deep Cut (they have their code!!) they might be leading the teams as a sorta, someone has to root for the underdogs / Well Deep Cut Is Just Us Do You Want To Be Boring Shiver We Have To Have Opponents In Order To Win

Option 2: Past / Present / Future

I've had this idea since near the start of the game and since we've already had an idol VS splatfest for the first anniversary they might not be planning to do another one. This would also be an interesting theme as a Regular Splatfest Which Is Not The Last One but I feel like it's kind of meaningful enough to be a finalfest one in the same way Chaos vs Order was? (and could, technically, cause world theming for a splatoon 4, I guess. do we go traditional or futuristic or make everything the same as before / just kind of Still)

The assigned teams for this are in that order but the reasoning is:

Shiver: Past. They're proud of themself and what they've achieved and their lineage, so the past is important to them. You have to have done well in the past to have a good present or future, right? (also they sure have Won Lost Of Splatfests in the past. lol)

Frye: Present. She's enjoying the now! Live for today! Why worry about the past or the future when you can live one day at the time and now have to worry about what has or will happen? (also, Frye is a gift to us all)

Big Man: Future. He's very chill and looking forward to what the future will bring! Potentially a little Worried about the future as well, with being the head of his clan now, but are the past and present not equally worrying?

Anyway fun and silly explanation this is not supposed to be a serious "so This is what the theme will be based on my guessing" but I just think these would Be Fun And Possible. I just wanted to place this here as a time capsule <3