#they're not coping well
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fic: when the void stares back (ren&false)
a/n: posting a bit late bc i've had family stuff going all weekend oml. written for the @hermitadaymay solstice social event! found out too late that my partner wasn't able to participate in the end due to irl stuffs, so i only have a fic for you, but i hope you still enjoy it. <3
read here, or on ao3
-
"Ren."
"Yes, Falsie?"
"Don't you ever get…"
False walked to the small window in the bridge, watching nothing but stars fill the view. She wasn't sure how to word her thoughts. Perhaps she'd been cooped up here too long, maybe that was it. Certainly, she'd broken the silence because it had grown a little too uncomfortable.
"Don't I ever get what?"
"I dunno, I think maybe I thought space would be … more filled with people or something. I wasn't expecting the silence."
Ren joined her and stood next to her, tail wagging gently behind him. "Yeah, well. It is pretty empty this side of the galaxy. We got another two months travel though, do you want to go back into stasis?"
She scrunched her nose up at the thought. "Oh, it's not that. Besides, someone has to keep you sane out here."
Ren laughed. "I mean, that's very true."
She turned to face him and smiled. "Don't want you hallucinating again, do we?"
"Hey, it was one time! And it was the spores, I promise! I'm all good now!" Ren protested.
False gently moved past him, shaking her head. "I mean, you say that Ren."
"Hey!" Ren pretended to sound offended, but even he knew what he was like. "At least this new planet won't have spores, or so Gigacorp tells me."
"Yeah, but their planetary intel is 20 years behind at this point. I mean, even this ship is old for one of her size. There's so much she can't do that the newer ships can. We wouldn't need to travel an extra two months in a new ship, that's all I'm saying. And the squirtapods create more than enough spores as it is," False said.
"True, true. I've been tinkering behind the scenes on all the blueprints, trying to modernise them, but it's hard. So much of the new tech these days doesn't retrofit easily! It's such a pain!" Ren said.
"At least you're trying. Anyway. Not sure I like the idea of another two months of this, but there's not really much choice there, right? Company policy doesn't let us pilot alone, you know that as well as I," False said.
Ren sat down at a console, pretending to idly check the dials. In reality, they didn't need to do much to run the ship. Grumbot kept it all running well enough with the maintenance drones while they were in stasis and would alert them to any issues. All they had to do was pass the time.
"I dunno, maybe I wish I had…"
Ren's voice faded off. False turned to him. "More people? I think that's it. More people."
Ren idly scratched an ear. "Yeah, I think that's it. More people."
-
This ship was too big for the two of them. A Hermetheus class ship needed a crew of at least 50 to feel in any way full of life. With just the two of them, it felt like they were piloting a casket. Maybe if they had crew in stasis, it might feel okay. She could wake them up to get some more company, take her place while she has some time in stasis as well to keep her own sanity. Instead it was just her and Ren, and the vast emptiness of space.
Had she really signed up for this when she joined Gigacorp? Well, yes, actually. That was the whole reason. Get away from, well. Get away from things. And of course, you didn't need a full crew to scout out planets to colonise. A pair will do. Once they find good planets, then the rest of the group can follow to build up the infrastructure needed for the meganodes or whatever they're called.
She smiled grimly at that thought. She was working for a jumped up telco, of all things. Of course, communications were vitally important in space, she knew that as well as anyone, so it made sense. But it still sounded so silly in her head to be travelling around, finding good planets to put big satellite towers on. Hardly felt glamorous, really. They were tradespeople, electricians, not astronauts. Not that she'd go back, of course.
Her hand clasped around her gun again purely out of habit. It sat at her waist, standard issue Gigacorp weaponry to be used when necessary. It wasn't a very good gun though. It had a janky trigger that False did not like, and its accuracy was atrocious. If there wasn't a sensor in the holster to check the gun was still in there, she'd have ditched it for a proper weapon ages ago. But Gigacorp didn't work like that.
She sat on her bed. She'd been having stasis dreams again. Always tended to happen in the few weeks after leaving stasis. She could tell them apart from regular dreams because they were so strange to her. Figments of places, people, memories of building things and rivers and giant eagles and all sorts. Lots of towers on fire and laboratories she didn't really remember the purpose of. Her sister-
She hadn't thought about her sister in a very long time. Hadn't really seen her since she was a kid anyway. Just remembered her standing in the doorway of a burning ship, telling her to run. So she did. False ran.
She'd dreamed of her before, of course, but not like this. She was her sister, seeing through her eyes. Seeing False leaving her behind. Seeing jail cells and dead scientists and fire and a maniacal laughter. It had shaken her to her core. It was just a dream though, right? Yeah, it was just a dream. Stasis hallucinations to keep her mind busy. That's all it was. Perhaps her hand clutched her gun a little tighter, just in case.
-
False busied herself with inventory. There was still a lot to do before they arrived at the planet, and the sooner they had their equipment and supplies organised, the better. At least, it made False rest easy, and it gave her something to do. Ren usually just took care of the navigation and computers, making sure they had all the supplies on order that they needed. There were always some things they had to order in from Gigacorp, and at least they were finally close enough to tap into the local networks to get more up to date information on the planet they were heading to.
False busied herself in the hangar bay where all the ships were. The exploration ships they would take out to find suitable landing spots needed to be supplied with what would be needed to begin a colony, unpacked from the cargo they'd left with. Sand, dirt, grass, seeds, and, of course, squirtapods and their containment equipment.
The droids were doing the heavy lifting. They were faceless silver things, with simple voices and simple functions. Good enough to maintain a ship at a basic level and lift heavy supplies, but that was about it. But then these droids were as old as the ship itself. A newer ship, and newer droids, would do so much more than they could right now.
She sighed as one of the droids stumbled across a grill and nearly dropped the bag of soil it was carrying. "Oi! Don't you go breaking yourself, or it'll be coming out of our wages!"
"Sorry Ms Symmetry," the droid intoned as it straightened itself up. There was no fluid movement here, just a jerky slow correction to its gait and its foot position as it rebalanced itself.
"Yeah, so you should be. Honestly. You have, like, one job! I have like, sixteen! Get it together!" False said, half-serious, half-laughing at the struggling droid.
She got out of the way once the droid had corrected itself. She didn't really need to supervise them. Grumbot was doing that. But she at least wanted to feel busy, so this was what she did with her time. The thing was, the time would pass faster than she always thought it did. Six weeks very quickly turned into two weeks, and that's when the panic kicked in, even though they were very well prepared.
She sat down on the floor, watching the droids pack the ships up. It occurred to her that Ren was, at least, ten minutes away from her. Maybe twenty if the elevators fucked up like they always did. If something happened to her, something the droids couldn't help with, she was dead. Just, straight up dead. Ren would never get to her in time.
That thought sent a shiver up her spine. She didn't want to die, of course. But they were far too few on a ship that was way too big. The nearest ship could be months away, too. Communications could take days to arrive, if they arrived at all. She tried not to think about this too much. It tended to just make her anxious.
"Falsie, how's the inventory going?" came Ren's voice on the radio, breaking the silence.
"Oh, it's going. Droids are packing up the ships. How's things up there? Still heading on the right track?" False said.
"Yeah, all good up here. You want a break? I'll make you a cuppa tea?" Ren said.
False smiled. "Yeah, sure, be right there."
-
She wasn't, of course, right there. It did take a while to navigate back to the bridge. But she found Ren sitting there with a thermos of tea and a plate of biscuits, a rare treat they'd been saving for months. Thankfully, they had kept well. They'd moved a spare table and chairs into the bridge as there wasn't really anywhere close to take a break or just sit down without risking spilling things onto the consoles. False took a seat and Ren poured her a cup of tea.
"Penny for your thoughts?" Ren said.
"Oh, you know, the vastness of space, how alone we are, how we really should have more crew here, the usual." She laughed to dismiss the fears in her head. It was fine. She was fine.
Ren laughed. "Yeah I hear you, hey Falsie? Wish Gigacorp would stop hoarding their money and get us more crew members. There's all those stasis pods going to waste for crying out loud!"
"I just can't imagine it's cheaper or more efficient to run a ship this big with only two people as opposed to like, I dunno, fifty, you know? We could get prepared for landing in a week instead of two months," False said.
Ren sighed. "Yeah, yeah. I know, I know. Look, I have told them this repeatedly, but do they listen? No! Of course not! There's too much of the universe to explore, they can't spare 50 person crews for every ship!"
"No, I mean, it's not like they're the richest and only corporation in the universe. Can't hurt those profit margins though, can we now? That's why we run in old ships. Too expensive to get new ones," False said.
"Yeah, well, there's worse jobs out there for sure. At least we get to see a bunch of different planets though! That's good, right?" Ren said.
"I mean, I guess? But you can do that on your own. You can just buy a ship with a warp drive and you're set. Small ones aren't that expensive anymore if it's just you," False said.
"What do you think I did before Gigacorp? I went to so many cool planets, Falsie! And now I get to do it as a job! It's so awesome! Don't you think it's awesome?" Ren said, the enthusiasm clear in his voice.
"I guess so, maybe. If you like exploring," False said.
"Don't you like exploring? Surely you must like exploring! Why else would you sign up for these missions?" Ren said.
False shrugged and took a sip of her tea. "Sometimes you just need to- Never mind."
"Oh! Also! I finally managed to get some images of the planet we're going to! Current ones!" Ren said.
He got up and headed over to the console to bring up the pictures. He flicked through a series of pictures of the planet's surface. They showed a rocky planet with pockets of ocean and green land. It didn't look promising to False.
"I bet it's another uninhabited world," False said, going to join him.
"It might not be! There could be life there! Life can thrive anywhere!" Ren said enthusiastically.
"Hmm." False was not yet convinced. "It's just, thirteen out of the last fourteen worlds were uninhabited, is all I'm saying."
"Look, not every planet can have abundant intelligent life! That's actually what we're doing here! We go to a planet, see if it can sustain life, and leave that information for Gigacorp to deal with. Then we move on to the next assignment. It's a perfectly fine system," Ren said.
"What do Gigacorp do with all these planets anyway?" False said. "Feels like it's just busy work at this point."
"It's for the Giganodes! It's connecting the Gigaverse together! Why wouldn't you want to be involved with that?" Ren said.
"So what you're saying is that we're the chumps installing satellite. We're doing the boring cable laying gruntwork of the Gigaverse more like," False said. "I'm not paid enough to care that much about the Gigacorp vision, if I'm honest."
"Aww, come on, it's great work we're doing here! Spreading the love of Gigacorp to new and exciting planets!" Ren said.
"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that, Ren."
-
False ran her hand over her ship, a small Valkyrie class tucked behind all the Gigacorp vehicles in the hangar. They'd been all over the galaxy together, and she'd smuggled her aboard when she joined Ren as crew. She wasn't as old as the ship they were piloting, but she had a knack for upgrades and repairs, so she was as good as the newest ships out there at the moment. Warp drive, chameleon skin, the works.
She could just fly off. She could get inside, open the doors, and fly off. Leave all of this behind. It wouldn't take much. She could stash enough supplies in here and just go.
She got inside, in spite of herself. It was comfortable in here. She knew this ship better than she knew herself. She always had a stash of emergency supplies in here. Sometimes, it was quicker to take her to rendezvous with supply ships and stations than get their Hermetheus to change course.
It was always nice to get away from the ship for a while. Talk to different people. Catch up with contacts and friends. Upgrade her ship. Profit a little on the side when she could. She knew how to take care of herself. Ren was always fine. She put Grumbot in autopilot and told him not to touch anything, and they were fine.
She sunk into the pilot's chair, her hands going to the controls through muscle memory. The desire to fly away was very strong. But she knew it would pass. Part of the training was dealing with that flight response that came from spending too much time with your partner. She knew it would pass. Just breathe. Find a supply station. Talk to other people. She'd be fine.
She closed her eyes. Imagined saying the words to open the hangar doors. Powering up the ship. Disappearing into the void like she always wanted to do.
She opened her eyes, still sitting in her ship. She shook the itchiness from her body and left, softly touching her nose as she closed the doors and powered down the ship. One day they would fly again. One day. But not today.
-
"Falsie."
"Yes, Ren?"
Ren shifted a little in his chair. "Did you know you'd never see your home again when you joined Gigacorp?"
"I mean." False glanced at him. "To be honest, I'd left home a long time ago. It didn't really worry me. I was already homeless. Best kind of person for these kinds of missions, I think. No attachments."
"Yeah, but like…" Ren paused. "I mean, you can die out here, and who'd even notice? Everyone's so so far away! By the time they get here, we'll just be skellingtons in the sand or something."
"You been having stasis dreams again, hey?" False said. "What's brought all this on?"
"I dunno. I guess the distance kind of just hit me earlier. Seeing how far we are from anywhere, really. I mean, sure there's planets out there close by, but inhabited planets? The last one was the one we left hundreds of light years away, you know?"
"I think you should stop worrying. Nothing much you can do about it. I mean, what do you want me to do? Magically make an inhabited planet appear? If it's getting to you, you can always retire, of course," False said. "Sorry, that sounded mean. But you know what I mean, yeah?"
"Yeah, yeah, I know. Maybe we should stop at that refuelling station coming up in a couple of days. I think I need to get out of this place for a while. It's doing my head in," Ren said, resigned.
False touched his arm for a moment. "Yeah, maybe we just need to get some time off the ship. Before we get to the planet, of course. We don't actually need to refuel, do we?"
"I mean, it doesn't hurt to get everyone topped up before a mission. And we've been travelling a helluva long time to get here, you know?" Ren said. "And, I dunno, maybe it's a good idea, you know, stock up on anything we need before we land."
"Ren, you don't need to justify it this much. We can just stop there, it's fine," False said.
"Yeah, but, like-"
"Ren, it's fine. We might as well if it's close by. And you clearly need a distraction, so. Maybe we take inventory tomorrow, and then we'll know what to pick up while we're there. Then at least it's a business expense," False said.
"True, true." Ren sighed. "I'll be honest, Falsie, there's really only one thing I want, and it's some actual good stinking food! I'm tired of living off the supplemental day rations! I'm wasting away here, Falsie, I swear!"
False smiled. "You're not wrong. I know why it's there, of course, it's all that will survive the journey, but god, I could do with some actual food."
"We're gonna dine out so stinking good, I promise. So much good food we can take to the planet with us! That'll set us up for a good start," Ren said.
"Yeah, of course," False said.
Ren fell quiet. He got up and went over to the navigation console. False saw him adjust their trajectory to head to the refuelling station. They were lucky one was close by. Sometimes they were months away, and they would have to get by on base power until they got there. Which, to be fair, was not that hard to do with only the two of them. Sometimes, they could go into stasis if there was enough power, but other times, it was just to isolate themselves in a small corner of the ship, power that for life support, and shut down most of the rest of the ship.
It would be nice to be off the ship, though. Talk to some different people. See some different things. Trade in some of the, well. Some of the things she'd collected over the years. If she'd learned anything at all over her lifetime, it was to keep your own money that your employer couldn't touch. You never know when you'll need to make an escape.
#hermitcraft#hermitfic#fanfic#solsticesocial#rendog#falsesymmetry#gigacorp au#just smol specks in the vastness of space#while also being the guys laying cable so the rest of the galaxy can get internet#they're not coping well#but they are coping#sort of
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pspspspsss mombin pt 4
(1) (2) (3)
#stranger things#platonic stobin#steve harrington#robin buckley#mombin#they're certainly coping#not well but they are coping#ok i swear i will actually draw something else tomorrow i have too many bg3 wips#cw pregnancy
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I was today years old when I learn that I can only do manga or anime...
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I have that line in my head for days.
I had to.
He can't talk except for in the cockpit with First Aid, right? Soooooooooooo
#tf mecha universe#shut up I have hyperfixation#and I need to cope#also pretending to not have work#well okay I just wants more of them#i wass busy drawing the eyes I forgot their visor.....#just pretend they're there okay?
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I redrew and remade the scene from JIB2 where Mercury says the unthinkable.
#solarballs#solarballs fanart#solarballs mercury#solarballs earth#hahaha I'm coping here with my silly arts..#I'm crying I'm delusional#ik what they probably tried to say with that scene but then just say it??#they're all so screwed man the whole solar system is#this won't end well
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i think a core component of the okumura twins relationship is that if you told them before the series what happens in the future, they would worry about each other before themselves
#i stand by this 100%#especially with yukio people act like he actually hates rin#when in reality he spends a lot of time worrying about his safety to his own detriment and to the detriment of him#cuz he thinks about it as an authority figure and not as a peer and he doesnt really know rin that well at this point#hes used to the 'if nothing bad happens he'll be same so if he does nothing nothing will happen' but of course that doesnt work anymore#rin is already a demon hes already an exorcist and yukio cant cope with the fact that bad things have ALREADY happened#and his problem solving method failed and continues to fail that he doesnt know what to do#in terms of rin of course he also has his own problems#rin does this too but more as a brother and less of an authority figure#its more of a 'yukio should have to deal with this so im gonna do it even if it kills me' even tho in this case yukio has more experience#rin needs to keep him safe and to keep him safe he needs to fight the things that threaten his little brother#but that also fails because of yukio's aformentioned experience but also rin's lack of experience#rin knows how to fight bullies but he doesnt know demons but hes still trying even if yukio doesnt want him to#anyway i think its sweet how hard they try for eachother despite being out of their element#and also how hard they're trying to appear like they're not trying to keep eachother safe to eachothers benefit#okumura twins#ao no exorcist#blue exorcist#yukio okumura#rin okumura
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☆in combatting ableism one must also understand that being an "attention seeker" does not, on its own, make someone a bad person & that wanting / seeking attention is not inherently a negative trait or a moral failing
#hi this post is made by a histrionic about histrionic personality disorder 👍 please be kind#people can seek attention in ways that harm themselves or others yes. but seeking attention on its own is not a Bad Thing!#(getting hashtag vulnerable for A Moment) i personally cope by being a “content creator” lol. and it helps! it works very well!#it brings me so much joy that people enjoy my art#but ALSO it is a healthy outlet for me to “seek” attention / have a steady supply in a way that harms nobody :)#anyway yeah seeking attention is not a bad thing. im not necessarily saying that using “attention seeker” as an insult is /ableist/#but it IS ableist to treat people who seek attention (esp in harmless ways & esp if they can't help it) as if they're doing something wrong#☆💬 / text#honestly histrionic#histrionic personality disorder
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Lucy, one of the most well-adjusted of the friend group: When I am rich
*Points at Simon and Gareth*: You're getting therapy
*Points at Kate and Michael*: You're getting therapy
*Points at Sophie and Penelope*: You're getting therapy
*Points at Phillip*: You're getting DOUBLE therapy
Lucy: Everyone is healing!
#despite lucy's belief's she also needs to go to therapy#but she won't fund it#penelope as the second most well-adjusted of the group will#don't let them fool you though just because their well-adjusted doesnt mean their coping skills are healthy#they're gonna do group therapy too aka circle time after everyone goes to their session#bridgerton#spouses friend group#lucy abernathy#simon basset#kate sharma#kate sheffield#sophie beckett#penelope featherington#michael stirling#gareth st clair#phillip crane#incorrect bridgerton quotes#incorrect quotes
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Trust me to literally always be thinking about the fact Martin stabs Jon with the same knife Jon stabbed Jonah with whenever I see some Jmart Finale art and be so extremely normal at the thought of their blood mingling, of staying connected and bonded even in death, of sharing the same fate in the end, of never being able to extricate for one another even if they DO end up Somewhere Else--
(This is the reason why Jonah HAS to be in Somewhere Elses AU. At the very least he should be haunting Jon, caressing his cheek every night Jon cannot sleep over the guilt and grief of failing not just one world but endless ones.)
#the magnus archives#jonelias#I don't often think of somewhere elses AUs but when I do Jonah is haunting both Martin and Jon and they're NOT coping well with it#they also end up making him real again by how much attention they spend snapping at him to avoid snapping at each other#he's like. oh boys. anyway. let me kiss you both better. the bad guy is back you can be happy with one another again hows that
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underrated thing about wang baoxiang is how utterly pathetic he is. intentionally provokes his brother every time they interact because having esen be mad at him for something he did on purpose is easier than being vulnerable and then is like how could esen think i hate him :(( goes around rolling his eyes at all these Idiots who don't consider the Needs of the Common Folk and then gets grossed out whenever a servant dares to speak to him. constantly thinking about Hot Men Exercising and how much they all want to fuck each other probably. hasn't emotionally matured past the age of fifteen (he is twenty-three). thinks of himself as a Character instead of a person so much that he gets surprised whenever the things he did for their narrative significance have actual real consequences. while being quite literally haunted by a specter of his own guilt is like hm what could this mean. well time to not sleep for another 36 hours. kills people and then throws up about it and then goes off to kill more people because surely this is the one that will fix everything right. wants to be punished for what he's done because it's the closest he can get to admitting he feels remorse. looks for his brother everywhere but only ever finds himself.
which of course culminates with him stalking miserably through the hallways looking for someone to be mad at because there needs to be someone else responsible for making his life suck but there isn't anymore because no one has power over him anymore. and he can't go back but tries to convince himself that he doesn't want to because he also needs to see himself as being In Control of Everything That's Ever Happened to Him. he wanted it all along and he likes it here actually. and he won fratricide chicken and got himself tortured and tried to show mercy and did every evil dishonorable thing and now he just has to live with it all forever. loser!!!!
#the radiant emperor#wang baoxiang#his ass is NOT healing and moving on#that scene where he tells esen oh i bet all your strong warriors would love to have sex with you. i bet they're gagging for it. like okay.#wanting to fuck ouyang so bad it makes him look stupid#and there's something to be said about how the feature he notices most on the honeypot maid is her dimples#didn't even mention the tainted blood of it all. his very conception was something Wrong and Unnatural and he's going to make you regret it#the vacillating between well it's the system that's bad i'm exposing the badness of the system. and actually i am uniquely evil and deprave#and the system is good which is why i am opposing it. when really it's all about esen and everything else is just posturing#ouyang killing esen as the culmination of his lifelong tragedy while wbx kills esen because he wanted to Win.#which is also the culmination of his lifelong tragedy#ok last thing. so much of his relationship with the third prince consists of deliberate retaliatory cruelty#because they have the same personality and coping mechanisms
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ended up thinking about the magneto + wanda vs charles + david dichotomy and --
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(house of m #1 / way of x 2 + 4)
magneto is 100% not a great dad and even HE knows it and he KNOWS he's put his war before his kids but at the end of the day he does love and care for them and has wanda's state deteriorates he both tries to help her bc she just fucking DESERVES it and also falls the helplessness of someone who just cannot find a solution but so desperately wants one. it's shitty that he has her manipulate things into a mutant utopia but idk man it was kind of a dogshit situation already. I mean people are literally planning to euthanize her and given how things are going at that particular moment there's almost an argument for it. what a horrific position for him to be in as a father and a father who's trying to do at least a little for his kids to make up for YEARS of being the WORST. he WANTS wanda to have a life, even if he's not allowed in it.
MY MAN EGG CHARLIE THO-- he has a similar kid. mentally unstable reality warper. has literally reshaped related twice with his unending bullshit. david is back and FULLY in his "i rule me" era. which is when he's the most together and lucid. He's as on top of his mental issues as possible and RIGHT out the gate xavier has decided he's too dangerous to live. he refuses to return david's consciousness to his body. when david does it himself charles suspects HIS OWN SON of being the psychic poison corrupting kraoka and when david refuses to tell him what he's plans are and simply asks his father to trust him because he's his son charles violates his autonomy and tries to hack his mind. (i know xavier's getting onslaughty but also.... lbr.... it's not off brand for him to pull something like that)
like-- i'm not a charles xavier hater but i'm a charles xavier hater you know? i love david so much and charles is such a deadbeat dad. i also think this is just-- it's very telling of the differences between mags and xavier. magneto will put his mission above all 9/10 but when dealing with a situation like these it's VERY clear that it's killing him and WANTS to resolve it in the less harmful way. meanwhile charles would prefer his son back in a coma before he's shown even a SECOND of supposed instability than allow him a life because of "what he might do to the mission". like no one here is getting the dad of the year award but jfc charles is sooooooo good at rationalizing and stomaching doing horrific shit to his own kid(s) just bc they're not controllable or palatable.
#meta#xmen#magneto#wanda maximoff#charles xavier#david haller#i feel like it's the telepath vs nontelepath thing to some extent. charles is SO much more controlling than mags#and i think a lot of it stems from the power and control his telepathy gives him#like you cannot give a man like that so much capacity for control over others lol#you can SEE him cope and SEETHE when confronted w/ ppl he can't read/control lol#magneto is a terrible dad but at least he can look in the mirror and say 'well at least i'm not as bad a father as charles'#magneto is at least like.... not trying to shove them in a closet bc they're too unruly and unsavory sdkjghds#he might even like and be proud of them! (feel like that depends on writer and era a bit tho i'd need to double check)
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through it all caname having the same face is pretty crucial to it all. because i'm crazy
under the cut because i'm a little crazy and i don't want to deal with people going why are you so crazy. i was just thinking about how they behave to each other and concern and selfishness. i think i portray them a certain way because i rarely think when i draw but anyways. they still project onto each other to insane degrees and them having the same face doesn't help it at all. in their worst moments they'll see the other as more of a "___ version" of them. it really is like that image with the model of someones model in someones head What okay
i actually think cana is guilty of this a lot but i'm gonna be honest i think about canada's stream of thought more these days because ame is too much of a coping freak to me sometimes. i think he displays a lot of concern and worry for ame but it's not entirely selfless. i don't think he's that selfless. like i think if ame met someone and for whatever reason that other person made ame improve himself and actually be better cana would feel pretty empty about that. well ok i just think they're crazy with each other. it's not even really that he wants to be responsible for him it's just if he, as he is, as his relationship with ame is, turned out to be completely unremarkable to ame he'd like shoot himself or something. no that was a joke i bring up suicide too fast Sorry. sometimes i think his anger with ame is more about himself. not to say he has no reason to want to beat his shit in but more that he himself is also an enabler and not an innocent person it feels reflected back to him 😇 and he crazy hates himself. cana living in his own head and mumbling all his frustrations about himself and other people only to himself is the kind of cause for a tunnel vision self centeredness. when he gets aware of this he starts slamming his head in the wall. it's kind of a feedback loop with being reclusive...
i'm too assed to string into words what i think their deal with what they desire from one another is. i actually think they want similar things but if not a lack of communication then the way they'd want it is too different from each other to work. caname can never work guys it's so over. i have to yandere kill everyone else on their behalf to force them together it's so over. like i think cana thinks ame is a psycho unreliable arrogant asshole and ame thinks cana is a stupid lying coward bitch with no spine but they're also bffs and also the same person(wrong)(this is why everything is wrong) and they want the other to Understaaand them. in the true way. in the True way 🌤️ ame is like ohhh i'm eternally alone ohhhhh this fucking sucks and this spineless fag i call my brother is my last hope 😭😭😭(exaggeration) and he still doesn't know anything. ohhh you don't know anything about about This worlddd this world we're in....(attempts suicide for the 1000th time) and cana is like all my relationships are pointless and nobody likes each other including me. and there's my brother who doesn't care about anything but himself and mindlessly causes harm to everything. what do i even do😭😭😭 i'm tired. i think at random cana will be like No OMG this is horrible i can make this not horrible(yes?maybe?) which is like the context for that drawing where he hugs ame and doesn't let go when he yells and pushes him i think. you genuinely have to rip their skins off to get them anywhere. wow. KILL YOURSELF CANAME 😭😭😭😭😭
they're too cringe aware that's why they will never even kiss. that won't stop me from drawing them kissing and getting married because i don't care i like to play with dolls. caname is good. caname is a net positive. caname is actually so sweet and encouraging and super nice to each other and i'm a maniac
#instead of posting shit like this i should be drawing things alluding to them having sex but i'm not#caname#but don't open it if you're not chill with the way i potray them#sorry it's 3 am i feel like i'll delete this later or something some of these are rly exaggerated and i don't mean that much#well i do but it's usually more vague because of drawing form 🤣#i don't think they're that cynical in the end#ame bible#actually no its not bible material because i wrote this when i was fucked up at 3am its too cynical for how i'd draw them but#its funny to add in 😇 im gonna draw them being cute sweetums to cope probably
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say cheese! 📸
#LUCY#Band LUCY#Band LUCY fanart#Cho Wonsang#Jo Wonsang#kitkatart#listen... i had plans to draw other things this weekend#i really did!#but nothing was working until i started drawing silly wonsangs and then that was the only thing that would cooperate#he is so cute i love him terribly#he really is so sweetheart with the shiny eyes like#how are his eyes so pretty and warm and full of stars??#the amount of times i had to stop for a moment while drawing this bc he's so handsome and cute...#i didn't capture it well but the juxtaposition between his adorable poses and the protruding veins on his hands and arms is so funny to me#also i didn't even realize all of these pictures had a similar palette until i started coloring them haha#lucy truly makes me want to create soooo many things!!#we'll see how many of those things i have the time energy and ability to actually do though lol#it's silly but every time i finish a drawing that i'm somewhat satisfied with i'm like#neat! glad i haven't lost the ability to do that yet!#also “drawing is fun” i say while gritting my teeth and focusing on every little detail#i wish i was one of those artists who had the ability to make cute sketches and upload those bc they're so nice but#unfortunately that's just not who i am as a person 😓#anyway i hope everyone is taking care!#i had to draw something silly and cute to cope with... current events. everything. you know how it goes lol
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the prefrontal cortex is the site of decision-making, thought and emotional regulation. it develops until the age of 25 years.
which means,
you don't have to beat up yourself for things you did before you turned 25 that were not your proudest moments. yes, we mess up. yes, it has consequences. but your brain quite literally was incapable of making the most perfect adult decisions all the time by that age.
even people older than that can have a lapse of judgment. so, it is absolutely normal if you do/did as well.
as long as you learn and grow from your mistakes- it is okay. you are/were a really young person. we are all doing it for the first time.
#also it is fucked up to think 18 year olds should have their lives figured out right after high school#they're just children#allow them to explore and make mistakes#mental health#mental health awareness#mental health support#mental health reminders#coping#positivity#reminders#wellness#kindness#therapy#psychology#neuropsychology#the brain
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More of these because apparently they're the only way I can cope
#exams for 2 and a half weeks im not coping well xx#maths first thing tmrw morning too they're brutal#someone pray for me to escape the horrors#coronation street#swarla#carla x lisa#carla connor#lisa swain
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iii and ivy both out sick tonight😔
I SPENT SO MUCH TIME CURATING MY BINGO BOARD AND OF COURSE THEY CHOSE THE OPTION THAT IS NOT ON MY BOARD OF 75 (!!!) TILES
Okay, jokes aside, i really hope they're okay and get better soon
#I'm sorry humour is my coping mechanism#genuinely hope they're taking care of themselves and geg some rest and get well soon#sleep token#worshitposting#sleep token iii#sleep token iv
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The “Michael and Lucifer are brothers” came other media having the two be twins. Especially the Netflix Lucifer tv show and the DC comics by Neil Gaiman that the tv show is based on.
Someone giving me an excuse to blabber on about my thoughts and ideas? That only happens in my daydreams! Also I just realized it's spelled Michael not Micheal oop-
I feel like everything can be traced back to Neil Gaiman in someway. Thank you Mr. Gaiman, for giving me more goofy but sad angels.
I haven't seen The TV show or the DC comics, but just the idea alone of these two being twins was enough to make me flesh out Michael's personality and the relationship between the two.
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Just kidding : ) Michael wouldn't question Sera, he obeys orders with a morbidly unquestioning loyalty.
I imagine that Michael was the more responsible one, and would try to discourage Lucifer's ideas and dreams, but Lucifer tended to ignore him. Lucifer would cause some kind of havoc, and Michael would be the one to tell the angels. Luci 100% saw him as a buzzkill and a tattletale, and Michael knew his brother was a safety hazard with wings, but I think they still loved eachother.
Which is why it would both break them to have Michael be the one who battled Lucifer and forced him into Hell. Lucifer felt horribly betrayed, and Michael would have been trying to cope with the fact that he drove his own brother out.
I have many ideas for them, so little time to write :(
#It took me so long to make Michael look right in that last panel that it’s not even funny I was so frustrated-#HE STILL DOESN'T LOOK RIGHT BUT IT'S BETTER THAN BEFORE#ALSO ALSO!!#I think that Michael likes ducks just as much as Lucifer does!#One of the only things that can make him smile. he's got a face of stone#And I gave him an animal nose because Charlie got that from somewhere :3 also Luci is more goat-like while Michael is more sheep-like#I feel like I should mention neon-ross as well#because I've seen a bit of their Michael art and I believe they're on board with the twins headcanon as well#ok have to do homework :( maybe I'll talk more about good ol Tunahair later#hazbin hotel#lucifer hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel lucifer#lucifer morningstar#hazbin lucifer#lucifer hazbin#lucifer#archangel michael#michael#hazbin hotel michael#michael hazbin hotel#michael hazbin#hazbin michael#hazbin#hazbin hotel fandom#my art#hooffulofdoodles#ask#ramblingovertootsierolls#pssst- Michael has a duck named Lu and nobody asks because they know he's coping#tunahair my horrible son
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