#they're all connected! except the au of course

[ambernotember]

fluffebruary chronological post

16: au: didn’t know they were dating | ao3

17: big romantic gesture (getting back together) | ao3 23: pillow talk (getting back together) | ao3 14: valentine’s day (first valentine’s together) | ao3 13: love declarations (for the first time) | ao3 3: spider-man kiss (is this a movie reference?) | ao3 5: mundane chores (oil change) | ao3 8: surprise (Tommy cooks for the 118) | ao3 21: road trip (one year anniversary) | ao3 9: moving in together (house hunting) | ao3 2: cooking together (foccacia and friends) | ao3 7: love notes (ways to say I love you) | ao3 6: stargazing (painting Jee’s room) | ao3 15: babysitting (babysitting Denny & Mara) | ao3 1: non-sexual intimacy (sleepy bfs ordering pizza) | ao3 11: double date (henren and wine tasting) | ao3 4: clingy boyfriends (work conferences suck) | ao3 22: grumpy x sunshine (tequila is the enemy) | ao3 19: slow dance (Bobby & Athena’s vow renewal/proposal talk) | ao3 24: working out together (running together) | ao3 27: affectionate bantering/teasing (Uncle Tommy babysits Jee) | ao3 28: wedding proposal (what it says on the tin) | ao3 18: trying something new (dance lessons) | ao3 12: day at the beach (honeymoon) | ao3 20: baby fever (The Donato clan) | ao3 10: sleepy cuddles (tired toddler dads) | ao3 25: sharing a blanket (girldads/sickfic ) | ao3 26: picnic date (backyard picnic with Amelia) | ao3

[starlightkyeom]

building blocks | yjh

(agreeing to be the teaching assistant is the last thing you want in a semester where you're already swamped with work. but, you need a letter of recommendation from the professor and you're out of other options. enter jeonghan, the menace who signs up for the class seemingly on a whim and disrupts your entire routine.)

pairing: master's student!jeonghan x TA!f!reader genre: university!au, strangers to loveres | fluff, minor angst, attempt at humor, smut rating: explicit, minors DNI word count: 19.7k (idk what to say atp) warnings: mentions of eating and drinking, jeonghan briefly drives a motorcycle, they're both engineering students but i don't claim to know engineering, the angst is minor because there's some miscommunication smut warnings: lots of kissing, hand job, fingering, slight voyeurism? (jeonghan watches reader finger herself), kind of loser!jeonghan, missionary sex, nothing really crazy all things considered

a/n: this is for the TA collab hosted by the amazing @camandemstudios. those two have been working so hard on this and i can't wait to read all the fics. but go easy on me because i know next to nothing about structural engineering. credit to @caelesjjk for this banner, it's so amazing 🥰 also thank you to everyone that helped me brainstorm along the way @ugh-yoongi @haologram @highvern and of course to @wqnwoos for letting me borrow her name.

note 2: this isn’t proofread. i had something come up irl and wanted to get it posted, so i’m sorry for any errors! i’ll come back to it next week when i have a minute.

(tag list at the end)

Your entire academic (and professional, for that matter) career has been a battle. A fight to be taken seriously. A fight to get the right classes. A fight to make the right connections. A fight for every inch that you’ve gotten. There are times that you wonder if it’s all worth it, wonder if anything should be as hard as this. But, all you’ve ever wanted was to be an engineer. To be able to leave your mark in some sort of meaningful way, even if that’s also a little conceited. It’s all you want and you’re so close to getting some much needed room to breathe. 

Except…

You have to make it through one last semester of this damn Master’s program. You managed to find a sponsor to allow you to commit to a final semester full time, with only part time research work. That’ll put you in a good position to carry on for your PhD, with your dissertation topic already picked and funded. Things had been going entirely too smoothly, in hindsight. You should have known. Everything about your application to the upcoming program is perfect. Except for the final recommendation. And, of course, the professor to give that recommendation won’t just give it to you to recognize the years you’ve put into this. No. He implies that there’s something he needs from you.

Nothing really awful, in the grand scheme of things. Not for someone that does want to return as a lecturer at some point down the road. It’s just that you didn’t really want to be forced into a teaching assistant position for Professor Choi’s introductory structural engineering course. It’s the course that weeds out who’s actually going to carry on with the civil engineering branch of the Master’s program from those who may switch out to something that better suits them. Which, again, isn’t a huge deal, except that you remember how burnt out the TA looked from when you took the course and it’s the last thing you need during your final semester. It’s hard to know that some portion of your future hinges on doing this. It’s also hard to forget another friend of yours admitting Professor Choi had given him a recommendation without the hoops.

Whatever.

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and all that. 

So you schedule your regular meetings with the professor, make a separate email folder for all course related communication, jot down the important dates, and figure out which lessons you have to help plan. First up is going to be the introductory class. Professor Choi comes in and introduces himself while you distribute the syllabus, an odd task when everything is available online through the portal, but he likes things in hard copy. Once he’s done his introduction, he leaves the rest of the first class to you, as he had with the TA in your course during your first semester. For a moment, you consider pointing out that this is a Master’s level course and you don’t really need to do the typical introductions. Most of these people have busy lives and, even though they’ll have to work together on projects, can manage without syllabus week. But, Choi is old school and you know it. You also need his letter, so what’s the point in trying to change his system? You’re not here to do anything other than fill a spot that he was having trouble filling, get your letter, and go. 

When you scan the roster before the first day, nobody particularly sticks out. There are a couple of relatively familiar names, though you’re not sure you can place faces to them, but most of the students seem to be in their first semester of the program. It only takes getting to the introductions for someone in the course to stick out, though.

“Well, I’ve always been good at building Legos. I figure, how different can it really be?” one student answers.

It takes everything in you to school your face back into a politely interested expression when the rest of the class bursts out laughing. Your initial reaction had been incredulity. Surely he couldn’t be serious. There’s no way someone just wandered into this program because he liked building Legos. The laughter from the rest of the class dies down and you keep your attention on him.

“Why did you really join the program?” you ask. That’s what every student was supposed to be sharing. A problem for this student, apparently.

“That is why I joined,” he says with an infuriating smirk. 

“What did you say your name was?” you ask.

“Jeonghan,” he answers without anything else.

You consult the roster in front of you and put a star by his name. This is someone you know you’re going to have to keep an eye on. 

“Did I get a star already?” he prompts, earning another few chuckles from his classmates.

“Something like that,” you say and then turn to the person next to him. “And why did you join?”

Nothing else grabs your attention during the remainder of the introductions. Several students volunteer what they’re hoping to get out of the program. One brave student says she’s heard that Professor Choi is tough before asking for your opinion. Although you give a neutral answer, you make a note to speak to her privately to address her (very valid) concerns. 

When it comes time for you to return to speaking about the rest of the semester, you expect Jeonghan to interrupt in some way. He gives the impression of someone that likes causing a little bit of chaos or bringing attention to himself. Instead, he simply listens, notes something down occasionally, and gazes at you so intently that you nearly feel yourself flush. It would be a lot easier to ignore him if he didn’t look like some kind of model, though. You catch yourself looking at him more than once when other students are sharing answers. His nearly black hair falls in longer layers around his face, not quite reaching his collar in the back. There’s something almost delicate about his nose, about all of his face, really. His features are soft in a sort of beautiful way. It’s only when he catches you looking that you shake any consideration of his features from your mind. 

Once there’s only a few minutes left, you dismiss the class with a reminder that your email is beneath Professor Choi’s on the syllabus and you’re always around to help them. This class, you share, can be daunting and you’re here to help them get through it in one piece. That part comes out genuine because you do mean it. None of these students are to blame for the position you’re in. It’s not their fault that they have a TA that doesn’t really want to be in the position. So, you’re not going to make them suffer. You’re going to help them just as the TA for your class helped you. You make a note to reach out to him and ask for some advice.

Jeonghan’s eyes linger on you as the other students get out of their seats and begin talking, mostly about what they’re most excited for in the coming semester. You have to break first and look down to collect some papers from the desk. It also helps to remind yourself this is the same student who said he joined the class because he likes Legos. Ridiculous. When you look back up at the class, you’re half expecting to see his attention is still on you. It’s not. He’s joined a few classmates and is leaving the room without a backward glance. 

Legos, you remind yourself, and return to gathering your things. 

The one good thing about all this is that it’s an evening course, designed for people that have to work during the day. When the class is over, you get to go straight home to eat dinner and meld into the couch with your roommate, who also happens to be your best friend. 

You: i’m tired, want me to pick up food on the way home?

Bestie boo: i already called in an order from that one place you like so you can pick it up on the way home 

You: wow who are you and what have you done with my best friend?

Bestie boo: i didn’t pay for it

You let out a snort because that’s exactly the friend you know and love. He has to cover up ordering your favorite food from your favorite restaurant, which is sweet, by reminding you he’s still a giant pain in the ass. The gesture is enough for you to ignore it and just let him have this win. Maybe you’re off your game, but you’re a little tired.

“You should watch where you’re going.” 

The comment nearly makes you jump out of your skin. Sure, you scare easily as it is. But it’s worse when the voice comes out of seemingly nowhere. Of course it’s Jeonghan from your class, leaning against the wall just outside the building. His eyes glint at your reaction, like he’s enjoying it. Maybe he is. A second later, he pushes off from the wall to come closer. 

“And you shouldn’t scare people like that,” you retort when your heart slows a bit. He’s looking at you conspiratorially. “Did you have a question from the class?” 

“No,” he answers easily. 

“So…” you start. 

“Do you memorize the faces of all your students so quickly?” he wonders, continuing when you give him an odd look. “Or am I special?” 

“You made an impression,” you say neutrally.

“A positive one?” he presses.

“I didn’t say that,” you counter.

“But, still, you remembered me. Unless you learn all your students' faces before class as TA duties,” he says.

You sigh and decide to give him a partial truth, one that’s less likely to bite you than admitting his face is one of the only ones you remember. “I haven’t been a TA before so I don’t have a manual for how I’m going to approach it.” 

“Happy I get to be your first, then,” he says and turns to walk away. He turns back over his shoulder with a wicked smile and calls, “see you next class!” 

Your mind is preoccupied all the way to the restaurant to pick up the food and all the way back to your apartment. It’s only been one day of class and you can already feel that this student is going to be a menace. Worse than that, he seems like he knows he’s getting under your skin and wants to press it even further. Realistically, you just have to get through any of the classes that you lead. Otherwise, he’ll be the professor’s issue. 

Seungkwan is waiting on the couch, aimlessly scrolling on his phone when you walk into the living room, takeout containers in hand. It’s relatively familiar, though you know that he also likes to be out whenever he can. A perpetual social butterfly. 

“Today was already fucking annoying,” you moan when you set the boxes down and flop onto the couch.

Seungkwan gives you a sympathetic look. “At least you’re one step closer to getting what you need from that idiot.”

You’re confused for a moment because you hadn’t been thinking of Professor Choi at all. “Oh, yeah, no. I wasn’t talking about Choi.” 

“What was the issue then?” Seungkwan asks as he leans forward to get his food.

“There’s this guy in the class and I don’t know. I can’t figure him out,” you offer. “He’s so annoying. Like who signs up for a structural engineering class just because he likes building Legos? And that smirk. Ugh. I hate him.”

“Sure sounds like it,” Seungkwan quips. 

“Fuck off, I do,” you double down. 

“What’s he look like? Is he cute?” he wonders.

“Does it matter?” you ask.

“No. You answered anyway,” Seungkwan says with a grin.

“Fine, yes he is attractive because for some reason I’ve been cursed. Why do all you annoying people in my life also have to be hot?” you whine, casting a look at your roommate.

“Did you just call me hot?” he barks through a laugh. 

“Fuck off, just pick a show. It’s your turn,” you say with a push on his arm. 

You make it through the first few classes as a TA without much to report. Jeonghan tries your patience, but there’s not much he can do during the class and he doesn’t linger afterwards. That’s usually when Professor Choi wants to debrief on the course material and make sure the next class is ready. The class is also just starting to get into the real material and away from the foundational information. 

But, now the course is well and truly underway, which means you have to announce that you’ll be starting to hold your own office hours every week. Of course, Choi also has office hours and students could take advantage of those. Probably would, if not for the fact that he encourages the class to go to you first to try and resolve anything. Something about how he’s very busy and that’s why he has a TA. It’s exhausting and just another obstacle in getting what you need. 

After getting feedback from the class, you decide to set two different times for office hours, one during the late afternoon and one during the early evening to accommodate schedules. A few students show up right at the start of your first office hours session with similar concerns. So, you invite them in and start to work through a few practice problems to illustrate the point that they’re struggling to understand. It’s actually surprisingly easy to work in this way. You would never admit it to Professor Choi, but it’s actually kind of enjoyable. There’s value in helping someone understand a difficult concept. It’s also really rewarding to watch the comprehension dawn on the faces around you as each of them seems to grasp what you’re saying. 

Honestly, you can’t imagine your first office hours going any better when you’re already an hour into it and you’ve been working with the same three students. Of course, just as they’re gathering their things to head out, feeling more confident than when they showed up, Jeonghan appears in the doorway. He doesn’t even say anything at first, just looks around at the other students. They seem oblivious to what’s happening around them.

“Thanks again,” one student says as he’s standing up.

Another student catches sight of Jeonghan and she smiles. “Oh, sorry Jeonghan. We didn’t know you were having trouble with any of the concepts or we would have asked you to join us.” 

“That’s fine,” he says easily. “I was busy until just now anyway.” 

“Do you all feel confident with the topics? Or would you like to stay and go over something now that Jeonghan is here?” you ask, trying not to appear hopeful. (And failing at that pretty miserably.)

“Oh no, we’re definitely set. And we had plans,” the first student says with a look over at Jeonghan.

The three of them exchange goodbyes with Jeonghan and head out, allowing Jeonghan to close the door behind them before plopping into a seat at the table in your office. He’s directly across from you, which makes it hard to avoid his eyes. When you do meet his eye, though, he’s got a sneaky, all-knowing look on his face. You don’t like the loot of it one bit.

“What’s with the look?” you ask.

“What do you mean?” he retorts quickly.

“You’re making a face,” you say.

“Are you saying you don’t like my face?” Jeonghan asks, pretending to be offended. 

“Why are you here, Jeonghan?” you ask to switch tactics. 

“These are your office hours. I’m here to ask questions about the material,” he says. 

“You don’t need any help with the material so far. I’ve graded your problem sets and the answers have been perfect,” you admit. 

“Impressive, isn’t it?” he muses. 

“I’m not answering that. It brings me back to my question, though. If you don’t need help, why are you here?” you press.

“Why does it seem like you don’t like me?” he asks.

“I don’t have any feelings about you either way,” you deflect.

“Now, that’s not true,” he disagrees. 

“You’re determined to get under my skin,” you say, half as a joke. 

“Determined to figure you out,” he corrects. “It doesn’t seem like you’re all that excited about being a TA.”

“That’s because I was forced into it,” you blurt out and immediately clap a hand over your mouth. That’s the last thing you meant to say. “I didn’t mean…”

“Now we’re getting somewhere in this relationship,” he says, sitting back into his seat with a satisfied smile. 

You heave another heavy sigh, a common occurrence around this man. “Why are you so determined to figure me out? Why do you care how I feel about you?”

“Because everyone seems to like me right off the bat,” he says. 

“I can see why,” you deadpan. 

“So can I stay? Or do you have very important things to do?” he asks.

“It’s my office hours, so I’m here to help students until the two hours are up,” you admit.

“Perfect.”

The next few times that you hold office hours feature Jeonghan showing up for the second half. It seems deliberate that he doesn’t show up right when they start, especially because you always have at least one other student in your office. If there’s another student there, he joins in to ask questions along with whoever else is there. When it’s just him, his questions are much more personal. It’s obvious that he wants to know you. Know your likes and dislikes, know the things that make you tick, know who you are when you’re not at school. Seems very convinced that the version of you outside the walls of the engineering building is very different from the one he sees. Jeonghan doesn’t seem to realize that he’s slowly getting more and more of a peek into who you really are. Thankfully, he doesn’t bring up your slip about being forced into being a TA. 

It doesn’t make it any easier to be around him.

It should. You should be able to get used to his particular brand of torture. Yet, with each new piece of information you learn, you unlock even more questions. It’s like you can’t ever really figure him out. Or maybe that he doesn’t want you to. He’s very careful to give vague answers about the serious things, while he goes on and on about the things that don’t matter. He’ll spend a solid five minutes talking about the latest Lego he’s building, but then breeze past the few questions you ask about him personally. It usually includes some sort of quip about how he’s wearing you down and how you clearly want to know him better. 

“Bet you thought you were escaping me today,” a voice says, startling you out of your thoughts. 

“Jesus Christ,” you gasp. Your heart beats a mile a minute as you look up to glare at the intruder. 

“No, Yoon Jeonghan. I can see the confusion, though,” he says and you sigh heavily. 

“Office hours are almost over,” you point out. 

“Not for 20 more minutes,” he counters. 

“Right, but I was in the middle of grading something,” you say, indicating the design plans in front of you. He glances over at them.

“Hm,” he says.

“What, Jeonghan?” you ask with exasperation.

“Just doesn’t look like mine is all,” he says and plops into the chair across from you.

“Well obviously,” you say. “Can’t exactly grade your project with you sitting here.” 

For some reason, that makes him break out into a wicked grin. “So you aren’t grading my assignment because you were hoping I’d show up.” 

Ah, yes. Now you see your mistake. Should have definitely seen that coming, too. “You’ve come to every other session. I wasn’t hoping you’d show up again, but it was a fair assumption that you might.” 

“Whatever you need to tell yourself,” he says placatingly.  “D’you have a question?” you ask. The tension headache you associate with Jeonghan’s presence in your life is threatening to make an appearance. 

“Nope,” he says, popping the last syllable. 

A notification on your phone stops you from responding to him and you unlock it immediately. It seems that Professor Choi needs to give you a stack of assignments and instead of just walking a few doors down the hall, he had to send a message. You drop your phone back on the desk with the message still open and take a calming breath. 

“Everything good?” Jeonghan asks with more care than you’re used to.

“Yeah, I’ll be right back. Have to go pick something up from Professor Choi’s office,” you say, already on your feet and heading towards the door. 

It only takes a minute or two for you to go and come back. For once, you’re thankful for Jeonghan because it gives you the ready-made excuse that you’re just wrapping up office hours with a student waiting for you to return. He doesn’t need to know that student hasn’t ever asked you a class related question without another student present. You’ll take the wins where you can get them. The pain in ass in question is still sitting exactly where he was when you left him. 

He looks up at you as you walk back in, set the folders on the corner of your desk, and sit back down. “You really hate Professor Choi.” 

“I didn’t say that,” you counter quickly. Probably too quickly. 

“You didn’t have to. Sometimes you have a really expressive face,” he comments and looks back down at his phone. 

“Only sometimes?” you wonder. Jeonghan looks back up to regard you.

“It’s always expressive, but you work a little harder to control it in class than you do outside of it,” he decides. “You mentioned something about being forced into this. Why be a TA if you hate it?” 

“I don’t actually hate being a TA,” you clarify. He seems to accept this at face value. “It’s just…I didn’t…no. Why am I doing this with you?”

“Because I’m asking?” he offers. 

“I had never considered being a TA. I wasn’t opposed to it, I just hadn’t really fit it into my schedule. It has been a lot of fun, though,” you say. It’s the first time you’ve noticed how much attention Jeonghan gives you. The way his eyes are on you and it seems like he tunes out any other distractions. 

“How did you end up here, then?” he asks. Any teasing or lightness is gone from his tone. 

“Please don’t make me regret giving you the honest answer,” you say warily. “But, I’m applying for my PhD program. I have everything that I need…except for a final letter of recommendation.”

“Oh, you’re joking,” he says and actually does look offended on your behalf. “He’s making you TA for him in exchange for the letter? That’s why you said you were forced into it?”

“Yup,” you respond, popping the end of the word like he had done earlier.. 

“Well, that’s definitely shitty but I’m still counting myself lucky that you ended up with this class,” he says.

“I can’t figure you out,” you admit. 

“I know.” 

That should be annoying, the way he says that he knows you can’t figure him out. It’s like he’s not even trying to hide that he’s making it difficult to get to know him. Yet, he’s not making it a secret that he wants to get to know you better. There’s just something about him that prompts you to share things you wouldn’t with anyone else. No, that’s dramatic. It’s just easier to share with him than it usually is with someone else that you barely know. 

Despite asking again if Jeonghan has any questions, he insists that he’s fine with just sitting there to keep you company while you have to wait to see if any student comes by in the last minutes of your office hours. For a change, he doesn’t ask any personal questions. Doesn’t try to press you into admitting things that you usually wouldn’t. He just takes out his laptop to make it look like you’re actually helping him in the event that anyone checks in on you. 

Nobody does. The last few minutes pass quickly with you returning to grading the assignment you had been working on. The two of you gather up your things in relative silence and Jeonghan walks with you out to your car so that you can head home. You’re expecting something else or something different, but that’s all there is. Just a walk to your car, a smile with a goodbye, and him heading off in another direction. It’s somehow the strangest and most normal interaction you’ve had with him. It makes you pause to wonder if this is the real version of him. A little quiet, a little reserved. Not being a menace to anything and anyone in his path.

It’s not until you’re back home, sitting on the couch with a glass of wine while watching some variety show with Seungkwan that you realize it wasn’t quite the normal interaction you thought it was. 

Jeonghan: i appreciated you telling me the truth about the class today

The message lights up your screen and all you can do is stare at it without being able to believe it. How are you getting a message from Jeonghan with his contact information saved? You’re racking your brain trying to figure out if you gave him your number, or saved his, and just didn’t remember. 

“What’s with your face?” Seungkwan asks.

“Wow, that was nice,” you retort.

He looks over at your phone where the notification still shows a message from Jeonghan. “Finally gave him your number, huh?”

“No, I -” you start when another message comes in.

Jeonghan: you left your phone unlocked when you went to Choi’s office and I figured it was time for us to exchange numbers

Seungkwan, now more invested in your messages than in the show in the background, lets out a low whistle of appreciation. “Wow, he’s good. I see why you like him.”

“I don’t like him, Kwan,” you sigh.

“Sure,” he says dismissively. 

As if to prove something, you make a show of moving your phone over to the end table and turning it over. Seungkwan gives you a Look that plainly says he’s not buying whatever it is you’re trying to sell. Otherwise, he lets you go back to the show that you’re watching without bringing it up again. 

The text thread with Jeonghan seems to haunt you every time you open your messages, at least until there are enough conversations to push it out of your view. Surprisingly, you don’t get any more texts from him when you don’t answer. He also doesn’t show up to your next office hours, which is a bit odd to you. And you can’t vent to Seungkwan about it because he’s still very convinced that it’s only a matter of time before you end up sleeping with Jeonghan. Ridiculous, honestly. Like you would waste your time on someone you’re not even sure you like. 

That carries you through to your next class. It’s a slightly more complicated lecture that Choi does every semester to try and scare students off this path. He claims it’s so that everyone knows what they would be getting into. You suspect that it’s his way of reminding everyone just how smart he is. Not exactly the most flattering trait, but you suppose that he probably doesn’t care about that. Doesn’t need to. He’s been teaching so long that his job is guaranteed at this point. 

The good thing, though, about knowing Choi won’t need you during the entirety of the class is that you get to just sit at the back of the class and do some work. It gives you the chance to get through grading some of the assignments for the class without having to take time away from something else. Let’s you get absorbed into that to tune out the grating sound of Choi’s monotonous voice as he tries his best to warn students off the path. You’re so absorbed that you don’t notice the way that Jeonghan periodically glances over his shoulder to where you’re sitting, trying to catch your attention even for a moment. 

When the class comes to an end, you make your way up to the front as you would any other time. It’s a little irritating to have to check if there’s anything Professor Choi needs like you’re his personal assistant, but you’re also resigned. What you’re not prepared for, though, is that he calls Jeonghan up to the front of the room.

“Yes, Professor?” he says with so much respect and deference that it almost feels real, if you didn’t know how he feels. One of the only personal things you actually know about this mystery of a man.. 

“I really enjoyed your proposal for the final project using Legos,” Choi starts. “Every few semesters, I get someone that seems to think being good at using plastic building blocks means they’d make a good engineer. But, you’ve actually been doing wonderfully in the class. So, I want you to work with my TA here to refine the idea a little bit. I don’t think you’re meeting your full potential with it yet.” 

“Oh, well Professor Choi…” you start and he waves a hand. 

“Surely it isn’t a problem to help foster the best student in my class, is it?” he challenges.

“No, of course not,” you concede. 

Professor Choi wears a triumphant smile. “Good. I’ll leave the two of you to coordinate your schedules. See you next class, Mr. Yoon.” 

The formality of calling students by their family names nearly makes you roll your eyes. It’s only when you note the glint in Jeonghan’s eyes that you catch yourself. The two of you say your goodbyes and a silence settles in Choi’s absence.

“Should I just stop by your office hours tomorrow?” he asks when it’s clear you aren’t going to say anything. 

“Sure, that works,” you say. “You stop by most of them anyway.” 

“Does it bother you that I do?” he asks, a note of something you can’t detect in his tone. Maybe vulnerability. 

That makes you soften. “No, of course not.”

“I can back off if it’s making you uncomfortable,” he says with a forced smile. “Maybe it was too much adding my number to your phone.” 

“We can talk about boundaries when I see you during office hours tomorrow,” you joke. At least it seems to bring a real smile back to his face. 

In a strange turn of events, Jeonghan shows up to your office hours only two minutes after they start. You haven’t even gotten yourself fully unpacked because you weren’t expecting him to show up at the beginning. Not when he seems to show up in the latter half every other time. 

The differences continue as you settle into the work the professor assigned the two of you. Jeonghan pulls out his proposal, something you hadn’t actually seen yet, and talks you through his ideas. His idea had been to submit a design for a brand new structure built to scale entirely using Legos. It’s ambitious in a way because the blocks only come in certain shapes and sizes. You can’t just cut something down to fit the size that you need. It requires a good amount of forethought. But, for someone like Jeonghan who’s taken to the course like a fish to water, it doesn’t seem like it’s quite enough. You can see why the professor asked you to help him work through it a little bit more. It needs to be fleshed out a little further. 

As the two of you go back and forth with ideas about how to give it an element that makes it more impressive, you’re stuck by how easy it is to work side-by-side with him. How well the two of you work together. It’s like every visit before this has been building up to the level of comfort you have now, even if you’re still pretending that you don’t really know him. Maybe you don’t, though. It’s not like he ever gives you real answers to your questions.

“Why Legos?” you ask as the two of you are feeling stuck on where to go to expand on the proposal. 

“Because it’s funny to see how annoyed you get when I bring it up, so I figured it would be funny to imagine you grading my final project that has to do with Legos,” he says with that same look.

“Be serious for once, Jeonghan,” you sigh. “I’m trying to help you with this. It’s the least you could do.” 

“Sorry,” he says after a moment and shifts in his seat. “It’s, well, it’s just always been the way that I zone out and reset. At first, it was just when I needed a break from dealing with people because I had to focus on the instructions. Then, I started to think about how impressive it was that they were able to form these insane shapes with building blocks. Then, it started to get more elaborate with me testing out what worked and what didn’t when I built my own designs.” 

It’s one of the first truly real and truly honest things he’s said to you. Not hiding behind a joke or brushing off an answer. It’s just him and you feel like that one response helps you know him better than all the hours he’s spent in your office up until that point. It also helps you realize what the proposal was missing in the first place: something personal from him. 

Ultimately, what is going to make this project stand out is something that makes it personal. A structural engineer doesn’t really need to design a building or a bridge or any other structure. They do need to design and analyze any of the support systems, though, which can be a dull job at times. Adding something more human will make it stand out. So, you suggest that Jeonghan take it a step further than just modeling a structural support system from Legos. You suggest that he set it up almost like instructions for an established set. But, instead of simple drawings to make it step by step, you suggest that he include little snippets about his previous experiences with using Legos, how he tests it to make sure he structure will hold, and any calculations he does for load capacity and gravity. 

Initially, he seems a little unsure. It’s easy to see that talking about things that are more personal to him, especially for a final project, is uncomfortable. After a lot of reassurances that nobody but you and Professor Choi will see it if he doesn’t want them to, he finally agrees that it’s a good idea. It does seem like he’s at least excited about the prospect now, though. 

While he’s rewriting his proposal to submit to the professor, you get back to what you had planned to do during the first part of your office hours before he showed up: grading assignments. Once again, his isn’t on the stack to be graded. Out of habit, you always grade his first and some time when he’s guaranteed to not be around. It’s oddly comfortable to work like this, grading papers while he types away on his laptop across from you. 

Once he gets through typing up a new proposal, he asks if you would be willing to read it over. You’re just about to suggest that he email it to you, when he just hands his laptop over. Seems unconcerned about having you his laptop. Although he watches you carefully as your eyes scan through the words, it feels like his only concern is what you think about it. Which doesn’t need to be a concern at all. It’s perfect, as far as you’re concerned. 

You tell him as much when you look up with a smile. “I love it.”

“Don’t be nice to me now,” he says nervously as you hand the laptop back over. 

“What?” you ask. 

“You don’t need to spare my feelings now when you’ve been ignoring my texts,” he says like he’s trying to protect himself. 

“So much to unpack there and we’ll return to the texts,” you say, a little exasperated. “But, I’m not being nice about the proposal. It’s perfect and I genuinely can’t find a single thing I’d change. Choi’s going to love it.” 

“Ah, well, he was right in getting your help. I wouldn’t have gotten here on my own,” he admits and it does actually make you smile again. 

“Still your idea,” you say to encourage him.

“Thank you, I appreciate it,” he says and you know it’s the real him for a moment. 

“Okay, but back to the texting,” you say to shift.

“The boundaries chat, wonderful,” Jeonghan says, returning to his previous mask of being a menace. 

“You really shouldn’t be going through a stranger’s phone and adding your number,” you chastise. 

“We’re not strangers though, are we?” he challenges. “And I didn’t go through your phone.”

“No?” you ask with an eyebrow raised.

“Your phone was still lit up when you left so I called myself quickly and then created a new contact, and then locked your phone and put it back,” he says like it’s the most normal sentence in the world.

“That’s insane?” you state with a level of shock.

“I really wasn’t trying to cross some sort of line,” he admits with a shocking level of sincerity. “I just really like getting to know you and I figured you’d feel weird about giving a student in your class your number, even though you’re still a student as well. So, I just wanted to make it easier. If you don’t want me to have it, you can delete it right out of my phone.”

Jeonghan holds his unlocked phone out to you and it’s open to your contact. For some insane reason, you do actually believe what he said. It’s easy to see how he might want to befriend you and be hesitant on how to do that. He strikes you as the kind of person that can put on a mask of liking to be social, but really would much rather be at home or in a small setting like in your office with you. And you do actually enjoy having him around, even if you keep trying to pretend that he’s basically a stranger to you. He’s not wrong, either. You would have felt weird about exchanging numbers with him. You’ll never admit that to him. 

He must see the hesitation on your face because he retracts his hand. Waits for you to say something, though. “I guess it’s not the worst thing that you have my number.” 

“That’s almost a positive,” he jokes. “You could give a guy false hope that you actually might be starting to like me.”

“Oh, now I wouldn’t go that far,” you quickly tack on. “Wouldn’t want you to get a big head.”

“Have you seen the grades I’m getting? I already know I’m doing something right,” he brags. 

“I have seen your grades since I’m usually the one grading them,” you remind him. “So, I have to balance it out.”

“You just wanna break my heart over and over again,” he whines.

“You’ll survive,” you deadpan. 

Everything seems to carry on as it always does. You have to make sure you’re keeping up with all of your actual classes for your degree. Grade assignments when Professor Choi hands them off to you. Give feedback on the upcoming topics. Most importantly, you find  plenty of time to disengage from all the hustle of classes. To enjoy time with friends where you can let your brain just wander onto things that don’t matter nearly as much. 

Even though you don’t ever text Jeonghan first, it doesn’t seem deterred because you do always answer the messages that he sends to you. Some of them are idle thoughts throughout the day. Others are questions that he wants answers to and seems to think he’s more likely to get them over text than during the hours he spends in your office. Your favorites, though, are when he texts you some wildly out of pocket statement and then gets you to debate him on it because it’s always something completely inane. Something meaningless. It gets you so fired up, though. 

“He’s so infuriating,” you complain as you forcely set your phone down on the couch next to you. 

“I’m guessing we’re talking about Jeonghan,” Seungkwan says from his position on the other end of the couch.

“Why would you immediately jump to Jeonghan?” you ask. 

“Bestie, we haven’t talked about anyone else but Jeonghan all semester,” he says. You fling a pillow at your roommate.

“First, you’re being dramatic. And second, yes I talk about him a lot. He’s infuriating,” you say.

“Whatever you say,” Seungkwan says dismissively.

“I might hate him,” you say.

“They say hate sex is the best sex,” he says without taking his eyes off his phone.

“And they say killing your nosey roommate isn’t actually a crime,” you retort. 

Seungkwan looks up at you and smiles. “Let’s do it baby. I know the law.” 

“You’ve been spending too much time around Vernon,” you scoff. 

“Maybe, but if you kill me, who’s going to lend their ear to you and listen to your troubles?” he asks.

“Van Gogh,” you answer immediately.

“He’s dead,” Seungkwan says with an arched eyebrow, carefully avoiding the more obvious retort.

“And so are you to me right now,” you say flatly. 

“Touche,” he says with a light laugh. “What’s he done this time that’s got you all pissy?”

“He’s spent the last 20 minutes debating with me over whether or not a hotdog is a sandwich,” you say, expecting Seungkwan to think it’s just as ridiculous as you. 

What you’re not expecting, though you should be, is for him to pick up Jeonghan’s side in the debate and make you rehash everything you’ve already talked about. It sounds like such an innocuous topic. Something so outlandish that it could possibly spark debate for more than a few minutes. Yet, here you are, having the same debate all over again. It makes you even more heated despite not having a stake or opinion before Jeonghan asked you. In fact, you had never even considered the question. It was one of the most effective he had posed since he started sending you random questions or opinions like this. 

Somehow, though, your biggest mistake is telling Jeonghan that your roommate got just as invested as he had about the topic. Worse when you told Jeonghan that Seungkwan was on his side. It made it immediately obvious that you could not ever let those two meet. It would spell an instant demise for any remaining sanity you had left. The realization that they would be instant best friends is terrifying. 

The debate about whether or not hotdogs are sandwiches lasts all the way until the next day when Jeonghan shows up at your office hours, right at the start. The look on his face tells him that he’s about to carry on the text conversation. But, thankfully, he falls silent when you say that you actually want to get some grading done unless he actually has a question about the course material. It makes him soften, actually, and he agrees that he’ll sit at the little table and work on some of his own homework. It doesn’t really give the impression that he’s asking you for help, though you’re sure that you could sell it if you needed to. 

Normally, it’s not all that distracting to have Jeonghan in your space. Probably because he’s there so often that you’re kind of used to him by now. That’s a thought you don’t allow yourself to dwell on too long. It’s easier to maintain the idea that you kind of hate him than to consider what your real feelings might be. Yet, those thoughts seem to be swirling in your head just by him existing in the same space as you. If he’s equally affected, then you can’t tell. His fingers seem to fly across his keyboard as he works steadily on something. 

Without warning, his voice interrupts the rhythm you finally find. “Can I ask you a question?”

“You’ve never asked permission before,” you note, but don’t look up.

“I wasn’t sure if it was an office hours question,” he says with a little hesitation. 

That does get you to look over at him. “Is it about the course material?”

“No,” he says.

“Shocking,” you sigh. “Well, whatever it is, let’s have it.”

“Do you want to go out and get dinner sometime?” he asks, looking more vulnerable than usual.

It’s enough to make your heart both constrict and threaten to beat out of your chest. Does he know that you’ve been sitting here internally debating what your actual feelings towards him are? Has it been that obvious on your face? 

“With you?” you ask to buy yourself time. 

“That would be the idea, yes,” he says with a nervous chuckle.

“I don’t know…” you start.

“You don’t know because you’re trying to spare my feelings? Or you’re not sure for some reason?” he asks to clarify.

That’s such a crossroads kind of question. You’re not actually sure what the answer is yourself. All you know is that you feel immediate panic at the thought of one of the professors, especially Professor Choi, seeing you out with him. It’s not that there are any rules about TAs and students dating. After all, TAs are just students themselves. But, since you’re doing most of the grading, setting some of the assignments, and even leading some of the classes, it’s frowned upon. It could give the student actually in the class some kind of perceived advantage. The thoughts just go rapidly flying through your brain as you look over at Jeonghan’s expectant face.

You decide on some version of the truth: that it doesn’t matter what you think, it’s not a good idea for you to blur that line. That if someone from the university saw you out, that it could possibly jeopardize everything you’ve spent years working on. That Professor Choi seems even more old school than most of the other professors. You’ve already sacrificed so much. It’s just not a risk you think you can take. 

What you don’t say: that the question actually confuses you. That you can see yourself saying yes to finally figure out what exactly it is that’s going on with you and Jeonghan. You wonder what type of place he would pick. Wonder what he’s like when it’s really just the two of you without the risk of someone else butting in. You wonder if maybe he’ll answer all those personal questions that he’s so fond of dodging when he’s sitting in your office. It actually makes you wonder if saying yes is worth taking a risk when you’ve been so careful with everything in your entire academic career. It’s the kind of thought that really terrifies you even more. This is a man that you can’t even figure out your feelings towards and yet you’re considering taking a massive risk. 

It’s one of the most intense office hours you hold and you’re left with more questions than answers. 

It’s been another exhausting day between your own classes, research, and doing work as a TA. Sure, there are definite upsides to your schedule. It helps you feel like you have a complete grasp on the material. It also helps you feel like you might be well suited to being a lecturer or even a professor yourself down the line. You also know that you’re giving more to your time as a TA than you need to. It’s just that you don’t want to leave anything to chance. The stronger the recommendation from Choi, the better. 

When you get to your apartment, Seungkwan is in the kitchen with Vernon and Chan. Which should be a concerning sight, since none of them are exactly great cooks, but you’re too tired to really care. You’re also kind of starving and whatever they’re making smells good. What’s the worst that could happen? So you call out quick greetings before heading into your room to drop off your things and change. You reemerge to the sounds of them bickering back and forth.

“Hey, do you want to try some of what we’re making?” Chan calls.

“She’s going to say no,” Seungkwan says.

“I’m starving. I’m down to try whatever it is,” you disagree. 

“Looks like Chan wins this one,” Vernon teases. 

A beep from your phone distracts you from engaging in the bickering back and forth. It’s the last thing you’re expecting, though it shouldn’t be. Ever since Jeonghan managed to get your number, and heard your half-hearted chat about boundaries, he’s been bothering you whenever he feels like it. 

Jeonghan: have you thought about what I asked? You: no Jeonghan: don’t believe you You: my answer hasn’t changed Jeonghan: that it's not a good idea? You: exactly Jeonghan: that’s not a no You: isn’t it? Jeonghan: listen, I respect you and if you tell me no, I won’t ask again Jeonghan: the only thing I’m going to ask if you actually think about it before saying no You: fine

“Hello? Are you there?” Seungkwan asks, snapping his fingers in front of your face. 

“Huh?” you ask.

“Oh, she’s gone girl,” Chan says with a laugh.

“Who were you texting?” Seungkwan asks. He gives you a look that screams he’s about to tease the shit out of you if you’re honest.

“Oh, nobody important. Just a friend,” you say dismissively. 

“Are we calling Jeonghan a friend now?” Seungkwan teases. 

“It wasn’t Jeonghan,” you say with an eye roll.

“Who’s Jeonghan?” Vernon asks.

“I think he’s that guy we’ve been betting on when she’s gonna finally give in and sleep with him,” Chan says in an undertone to Vernon.

“I’m not going to sleep with…hang on. What the fuck?” you ask, wheeling around on Seungkwan. “Have you been betting on me again?” 

“Only when you’re being an idiot,” Seungkwan says with a shrug. 

“Wait, again?” Vernon asks.

“Bro, we have been involved in other bets,” Chan says.

“I need new friends,” you grumble.

From there, it devolves into the usual bickering that you associate with your friend group. Sometimes you wonder how you even got so sucked into this friend group where they’re two or three years younger than you. You’re incredibly thankful for them, though, even in moments like this where you want to strangle them. 

Dinner moves into watching something and playing a game. It always goes the same way. Chan or Vernon take care of picking what to watch since they watch more TV and movies than you and Seungkwan. Conversely, Seungkwan usually picks the game, which is never a good idea because he always picks something that he’s good at. It doesn’t really matter to you, at least. Your brain tends to be fried from classes and research and all that. It’s nice to let them just make the decisions and chime in when you have something to say.

Thankfully, the conversations quickly move past your friends and their complete conviction that you have feelings for Jeonghan to much less serious topics. Sitting there, though, you feel an overwhelming sense of peace even in the chaos. Even when you say that you need new friends, you know that you wouldn’t trade these friends for the world. 

It’s been just over a week since you promised to give Jeonghan’s question actual thought. You’re still not entirely sure why you agreed. It’s not like you’re actually going to say anything other than no. It’s been a little weird, though, because Jeonghan hasn’t brought it up again, either. It’s like he’s actually been true to his word. He even skipped your office hours when he would usually show up just to bother you and pretend to ask questions. 

Since your workload has been a little light, you agree to go out for drinks with Seungkwan and some friends. It’s a much needed night to unwind and just not think about any of the issues that plague you during the week. It’s a night of ridiculous conversations while you all give each other a hard time about nothing that really matters. Eventually, as is always the way it goes, Seungkwan gets up and kicks off some karaoke. It’s a blessing and a curse. He’s got an amazing voice and you feel like you should be paying to hear someone sing that well. But, then he wants other people to join him and none of you are that keen to embarrass yourselves by following him. 

Casting your eyes around the bar, they land on someone in a leather jacket. As you watch, he shrugs it off and sets it on the back of his chair. There’s something compellingly beautiful about him. He runs a hair through his short, perfectly textured black hair and turns his face slightly to the side. You’re appreciating his profile for a second before it hits you. This isn’t some stranger. It’s Jeonghan. It’s just that he’s clearly cut his hair and styled it differently. You quickly return your eyes to your group and only can hope that he hasn’t noticed you yet. Then again, Seungkwan has been loud and singing before returning to your table. Most people seem to have noticed him. Still, since Jeonghan hasn’t texted you or come over to say anything, you figure that maybe he hasn’t seen you. No matter what, you down another drink to forget about checking him out. 

By the time it’s your turn to go up to the bar and get another round of drinks, you’ve mostly pushed the thought of Jeonghan out of your mind. With your back to his table, it’s been much easier to act like he doesn’t exist. Once you’re at the bar, it’s a little more difficult. Your eyes find his table without even meaning to. His jacket is still there, but he’s not. 

“Looking for me?” a soft voice asks from just beside you. 

It makes you jump a little to realize that he’s somehow right next to you. You try your hardest to act like you’re unaffected when you turn to face him. Try to act like you didn’t realize he was there. Kind of fail at that, honestly, because you’re one drink past the point of being able to pull it off. “Hey, Jeonghan. How long have you been here?”

He smiles that mischievous smile that always makes him look like he knows something that you don’t. “I saw you looking over at my table. You knew I was here.”

“I almost don’t recognize you with the new haircut and that leather jacket,” you say and only realize your mistake a second too late. 

“The leather jacket back at my table?” he asks, raising an eyebrow in challenge. “I saw you checking your phone too.” 

“Were you watching me?” you challenge.

“Yes,” he admits freely. “You’re nice to look at.” 

“Oh, well that’s not…I didn’t mean,” you stutter out, saved by the bartender setting a small tray down of drinks for you and your friends. 

Somehow, though, because life isn’t fair (and neither is Seungkwan), your best friend picks that moment to waltz over claiming he wants to help with drinks. What he really seems to want is to introduce himself to Jeonghan. Even goes as far as pretending he hasn’t heard Jeonghan’s name before. Seungkwan manages to sell it better too and you think it would probably pass with anyone else that wasn’t paying such sharp attention. It’s only then that you notice Jeonghan doesn’t have a drink in hand. Doesn’t really seem the slightest bit drunk. Which is fine until Seungkwan manages to make it even worse by inviting Jeonghan and his friends to come join your group. 

Then, something else that’s kind of weird happens. Jeonghan, who has spent the entirety of the semester up until about a week ago terrorizing you, barely says anything to you at all. He talks about his favorite artists with Seungkwan. Asks Chan for suggestions on some movies that he’s recently seen. Even laughs about random ass memes with Vernon. His friends, whose names you can’t even remember, fit in just as seamlessly. It’s a little…well, uncomfortable. It’s giving you entirely too much time to think and you don’t like it.

So, you do the only reasonable thing and you keep getting drinks. Stay just on the right side of drunk so that you’re aware of your surroundings, but not sober. It makes it easier to deal with everything happening around you.

As the night continues on, your merged groups seem to ebb and flow. Some people wander over, drawn in by the fact that it seems like a fun place to be. Other times, some wander off to make new friends or have new conversations. This is especially true of Seungkwan, which you’re used to. Your roommate is one of the most social people that you know. And then people start to make their excuses to leave as it gets later. How you end up outlasting Chan is a mystery, since he seems to have endless energy. It’s fine, though. You still have your roommate.

Well, until he tells you, without nearly the amount of shame that he should have, that he’s going to be bringing someone home that he got to talking to about karaoke. It’s a little unlike him, at least until you realize that the person isn’t a stranger. They’re definitely someone that Seungkwan has talked to before. It still leaves you a little lost on what to do or where to go.

“I never ask you for anything,” Seungkwan pleads. It’s patently false. He’s always asking you for things, just never things like this. 

“I could text Chan or Vernon to see if they’ll let me crash on their couch,” you say, trying to quickly clear the cloudiness from your brain. 

“Don’t they put their phones into DND as soon as they get home?” Seungkwan asks.

“My only other option is to just go home and put headphones on,” you say.

“You could come crash at my place. My roommate won’t be back from a trip til tomorrow,” Jeonghan offers. 

“Perfect! Thank you!” Seungkwan rushes out.

“Um? Seungkwan? You can’t just send me to some stranger's house?” you protest.

“He’s not a stranger. He’s been in your class all semester and at your office hours nearly every day,” Seungkwan says with an eye roll. Jeonghan looks vindicated hearing this piece of information. “You’re so dramatic.” 

“It’ll be fine. I can sleep in his room and you can sleep in mine. I’ll even make sure you have fresh sheets if you’re worried,” he says. 

This is definitely a bad idea. Even though you’re not drunk, you’re definitely not sober enough to pretend you’re not at least a little bit interested in Jeonghan. Everything about him seems to be a study in contrasts. Confident but not in some toxic masculinity type of way. Chaotic but serious at the same time. Silly to where he would say he joined a class because he’s good at Legos but also genuinely smart. And beautiful in a way so few men seem to be. He’s just something entirely his own.

You shake your head because you realize you’re spacing out. This is a terrible idea and one you probably wouldn’t agree to if you were sober. It’s not like he’s actually a stranger, though. Jeonghan seems to have realized the conclusion before you open your mouth. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Dangerous question,” Jeonghan says with a glint in his eyes. 

“I love you,” Seungkwan says and wraps you up in a hug before skipping off. 

“Are you ready to leave, then?” Jeonghan asks when it’s just the two of you.

“Yeah, might as well,” you say. He nods, looking a little unsure for the first time since you’ve known him and turns to grab his jacket. Says a quick goodbye to his friends and you try to ignore the looks they cast over at you. 

“Let’s go,” he says a minute later.

“Are we calling an Uber or something?” you ask.

“I’m sober because I rode my bike here,” he says as he leads the way outside.

“I’m sorry, you rode your what?” you ask, brain slow to catch up with what he’s saying. It’s then that you notice he didn’t just grab his jacket. He’s got a helmet as well. 

“Bike,” he says and indicates a motorcycle parked outside the bar. 

That brings you up a little short. It’s the last thing you would have expected when you thought of this man. Though, maybe it shouldn’t have been. After all, you said he was a study in contrasts. Isn’t this just another one of those? 

Somehow, the more you look, the more it seems to suit him. It’s not some big, clunky bike. Not what you typically think of when you think of a motorcycle. It’s sharp and beautiful, just like he is, even if you can only admit that in your head. He pulls open a compartment that seems to be under the backseat and hands over a helmet. 

“Promise I won’t go too fast,” he says with a softer smile than you’ve seen on him before. Like he’s actually trying to reassure you. 

Sure, it’s not the first time you’ve been on a bike. It’s just that of all the ways you could have seen this night ending, this wasn’t one of them. At least you’re not feeling too self conscious as you slide onto the bike behind Jeonghan and wrap your arms around his waist. You miss the way his breath stutters as you settle in close to him. Miss the way his heart starts to beat out of his chest because you’re too focused on getting comfortable. Don’t even think twice about clinging to his lean frame. But, even with the drinks, it’s hard to ignore the way that your body slots perfectly against his. Or the way your thighs squeeze against his hips. Maybe there’s a lot more to whatever has been happening than you’ve been admitting to yourself. 

Once you reach Jeonghan’s apartment, he carefully helps you off the bike and then puts a bit of distance between you again. It’s the first time that you notice he seems nervous, like maybe, you think, he might be reconsidering if this was a good idea. There’s not really much you can do about that now. You promised Seungkwan that he could have some privacy in the apartment and you’re already here. It can’t possibly be so bad that you really regret coming here. It could even help you sort through the very complicated feelings that are making their presence known. 

Inside the apartment it’s incredibly cozy. Not at all like you imagine two single guys would live while they’re in school. It’s not overly cluttered, but it doesn’t feel cold either. Jeonghan disappears as soon as you both have your shoes off, which lets you look around at some of the decorations. He returns with a spare t-shirt and shorts for you to change into. Despite your insistence that it’s fine, he just presses them to you and indicates where the bathroom is for you to change. 

It feels oddly…comfortable. Like this isn’t the first time you’ve seen him outside of class or your office. It also makes you take a little longer to change because you have to process whatever you’re feeling. Since you’re not sure exactly what to do after you change, you peek your head out into the living area. Jeonghan is setting some snacks and water out with the TV on in the background. You take it as a sign that you’re supposed to come out and join him. Momentarily, he disappears into his room and reappears also wearing more comfortable clothes. 

The confusion only gets even worse from there. Maybe it’s just that Seungkwan’s gotten into your head. Since you’re finally processing that you might be interested in being something a little more with Jeonghan, you expect things to go a certain way. Seungkwan, and your other friends, for that matter, seem to think it’s only a matter of time before you cross over into being more than friends. Subconsciously, your brain must have latched onto that. Even wanted it, a little. But, now you’re here, and Jeonghan doesn’t do anything. He’s not the smooth, confident person that you’ve gotten to know over the course of the semester. He doesn’t try to pull any moves on you. Just makes sure that you’re comfortable, that you like the snacks, and that you like the show he has on.

It all feels like it’s a little too much and so Jeonghan shows you the way to his bedroom. Your nerves feel frayed because surely, this is the moment where things finally shift. Surely this is when he makes whatever move he’s held off on making up until this point. Quickly, you brush off the need to change the sheets. It’s not like it’s that big of a deal if something else happens. Without giving your brain a chance to overthink it, you lean in to give him a hug. His whole body tenses for a second and you’re about to pull away, when he finally relaxes and wraps his arms around you.

“You know, you can just sleep in your own bed,” you offer carefully.

“I don’t want you to be uncomfortable,” he says through an emotion that you can’t place. 

“I won’t be. Plus, I’d hate to force you into your roommate’s bed,” you suggest again, meeting his eye to reinforce the point.

“Oh, well, it’s…” he starts, eyes avoiding your gaze.

“Really, Jeonghan, it’s fine. Your bed is big,” you say.

“Okay,” he agrees and walks to the other side of the bed.

It’s confusing, to say the least. He slides into the opposite side of the bed without meeting your eyes again. You’re not exactly sure how to give him another sign that you want something else to happen without making it too obvious, especially because it’s not clear if he wants that. The guy constantly in your office was just on the right side of flirty. Always trying to wear you down. This Jeonghan in his apartment is much quieter, more reserved. Like he’s not really sure what happens now that he’s gotten you outside of school like he claims he’s wanted. 

“D’you usually sleep with the TV on?” he asks and you pull a face.

“I’m not a psycho,” you snort. 

“Good to know after I let you into my apartment,” he jokes back and turns on the TV anyway. “I’ll set a timer just in case we both fall asleep.” 

Confusing. You’re laying in bed with this person that up until tonight you referred to as basically a stranger and there’s just…nothing happening. The two of you are plenty close enough that you could brush up against him, yet not touching at all. His attention seems to stay forward on the TV. Occasionally, he shifts to get more comfortable, but he doesn’t get onto his phone or even really look over at you. 

Thankfully, the bed is comfortable and without even realizing it, you drift off to sleep laying on your side, facing Jeonghan. The last thing you remember is looking up at his face. Appreciating the cut of his jaw and the way the light from the TV threw his features into contrast. Then nothing but the easiest sleep you’ve had after a night of drinking.

In the morning, when it’s too early to wake up after a late night but late enough that the sun seeps through the curtains, you have a momentary panic wondering where you are. Slowly, the night before settles back into your brain and you relax into the bed. It’s only when you feel a weight around your middle that you wonder if everything is coming back. It is, though. You think back to the last things you remember before falling asleep. Jeonghan was safely on his side of the bed. Now, his arm is draped over your waist and he’s breathing rhythmically like he’s still fast asleep. For once, instead of overthinking it, you just slow your brain back down and drift back into sleep. After all, this is one the right path to what you wanted the night before. 

The sun is fully up when you wake up again if the light streaming around the curtains is any indication. That’s not the only difference, either. There’s no weight around your waist and, when you look over your shoulder, the other side of the bed is empty. Which isn’t entirely surprising when your phone tells you that it’s nearly noon. It’s very unlike you to sleep in that late, but it makes sense. You’re just thankful that Jeonghan insisted on giving you so much water and something to make sure you didn’t wake up with a headache. Even though you’re still a little tired, you’re not hungover and that feels like a miracle. 

But, what do you do now? Nothing happened last night, despite genuinely feeling like Jeonghan had some level of interest in you. But, then he did share the bed with you and curl up to you during the night. Maybe that was his subconscious way of showing what he couldn’t say. You’re out of the bed and nearly out the bedroom door when you hear voices drifting in from somewhere else in the apartment. Voices, plural. One is clearly Jeonghan, but the other sounds female and that stops you in your tracks. 

The decision is immediate once you hear the second voice laughing at something Jeonghan says. You open your group chat with Seungkwan, Chan, and Vernon to ask if any of them are around to pick you up. Chan is the first, and fastest, to respond, saying to drop your location and he’ll be out the door to get you in a minute without any questions asked. That’s more than you’re expecting and you’re incredibly thankful. Makes it feel like one weight has been lighted as you quickly and quietly get dressed back into the clothes you wore the night before. 

Chan texts you to let you know he’s only a few minutes out. That’s your queue to actually leave the bedroom and make an appearance out in the rest of the apartment. Jeonghan’s back is to you and it looks like he’s got a cup of coffee next to him. The other person you heard from the bedroom is, in fact, a woman. She’s stunning in an effortless way that actually makes your head hurt a little bit. It has absolutely nothing to do with the drinks the night before, either. Her eyes land on you and there’s a smile you can’t place. It could be saying that she knows she won, despite whatever effort you made. Something on her face must tip Jeonghan off because he turns around.

And it’s worse than you thought, immediately. The smile on his face is both welcoming and soft, like he’s actually happy to see you. It only makes the whole thing more confusing. Why is he looking at you like that with one of the most beautiful people sitting across from him? 

“You’re awake,” he says, still smiling. “I hope Hana here didn’t make too much noise.” 

“Sorry, babe, I only have one volume setting,” she, Hana, apparently, says with another smile you can’t place. 

“Do you want coffee? Something to eat?” Jeonghan says and starts to get out of his chair.

“No, no, it’s fine. My friend is almost here to pick me up. Thanks for letting me crash last night,” you say without fully meeting Jeonghan’s eyes. It means you miss the confusion that settles in there.

Without a backward glance, you’re out the door and down the elevator. It’s only another minute or so before Chan pulls up, shockingly by himself, and smiles softly at you as you get into his car. All he asks is if you’re hungry and then starts navigating to your favorite place to get breakfast food that’s open at least into the early afternoon. It’s exactly what you need right now. 

Chan lets you just be in your head while he drives with music playing softly in the background. It might be a dangerous decision, honestly. All you can think about are reasons for that person, Hana, your brain supplies automatically, to be in Jeonghan’s apartment like that. His roommate wasn’t home, to the best of your knowledge, so that means she was there for Jeonghan. Was that his girlfriend? Was that why he was so reluctant to do anything the night before? On some level, you do know that’s probably not the right answer. The rational part of your brain knows that he wouldn’t be so calm if that was his girlfriend. There’s no space in your brain for rationality right now, though. So, you’re going to stew in the feelings that she could be dating someone. 

“Do you wanna talk about whatever happened last night?” Chan asks once you’re sitting opposite of each other in a booth. 

“Not really,” you say. “Nothing happened last night, though. So, you don’t have to worry about whoever wins the bet.” 

“I’m not worried about some stupid bet. I’m worried about you,” he says. 

You shrug. “I think I might actually like him.”

“No shit,” Chan says with a knowing smile.

“You didn’t let me finish. I think I might like him and I don’t think it matters,” you say.

“Start at the beginning and we’ll figure this out together.” 

It’s been a week since whatever happened at Jeonghan’s apartment and you haven’t spoken a word to him since leaving. Not that he hasn’t tried to speak to you. After breakfast with Chan, you realized you had both texts and missed calls from Jeonghan trying to figure out what went wrong. Those stay unanswered. Even if you’re being stupid, you can’t really bring yourself to behave in a different way. When the next class comes around, you avoid his eyes as much as possible. The one or two times you do look over at him, he looks incredibly hurt and confused. It’s funny, you think, how he’s the one that’s acting put out by this whole situation when you’re the one who had to wake up to some other woman in his apartment without understanding anything. 

That leads to your first office hours. Thankfully, Jeonghan doesn’t show up to those like he normally would. The office feels a lot quieter, even though other students stop by to ask questions. It just all feels very professional and detached. Not comfortable in the way it does when he drops by. It’s hard to admit, even to yourself, that you had gotten used to having him around. That you even looked forward to it. Somehow, you’re not really sure how, Jeonghan became one of your favorite parts of every day you saw him. That realization makes you want to crawl into your bed and hide forever. No matter what, it doesn’t feel like you’ll have the option to go back to that. It sucks to realize it just took you too long to come to the very obvious conclusion. 

Now, at least, it’s the weekend again so you have a short reprieve from all things school related. Well, all things Jeonghan related because you still have your own homework to handle, assignments to grade, and a new week to prepare for. At the very least, you deserve a little bit of a treat. Texting the group chat makes you realize, though, that a lot of your friends seem to have their own things going on. 

Seungkwan is out spending the day with the same person that he brought home last weekend. They seem like they’re really enjoying getting to know each other, which you’re rooting for wholeheartedly. You want your roommate and best friend to be happy. Vernon is kind of vague saying that he’s got other plans. With anyone else, you might think that he’s also seeing someone. You just know that he tends to be a little spacy when it comes to sharing plans. Knowing Vernon, he’s probably just off with some friend of his. Once again, Chan comes through and says that he could really use a coffee. Apparently, there’s some new cafe by him that he’s been wanting to try out. It feels like an excuse because Chan will absolutely go anywhere by himself, but you take it all the same. He’s actually probably the easiest of your friends to speak to about this, even if he’s younger than you are. 

One sip into your drink proves that this is the best decision for a Saturday afternoon. Chan chatters away about the things that have been going on in his life. He’s taking more dance classes in every free moment he has and it’s nice to see the way his face lights up talking about it. He certainly seems happier than any time you see him talking about his actual classes. Think about suggesting he give up one thing to pursue something else that would truly make him happy. His face is different when he’s happy like this. It makes it obvious how strained he feels with everything else.

A laugh pierces through the crowd and it gives you the worst sense of deja vu. Suddenly, you’re back in Jeonghan’s apartment. Which is crazy, right? What are the odds that he and the mystery woman are in this same coffee shop at the same time as you and Chan?

Not impossible, apparently. Well, at least in part. Your eyes cast around for the source of the laugh when they land on the mystery woman sitting with someone else that you don’t recognize. Your brain tries to stutter over the name before it forces you to think, Hana. Just as you’re about to look away, her eyes find yours like she could sense someone looking at her. She flashes a smile, which you try to return, before looking back at Chan and whatever story he’s sharing. 

That should be it. Except, when she appears by your side a moment later, you realize it’s not. She has someone else you’ve never seen in tow behind her. Chan, not always as quick on the uptake, looks up at her in confusion.

“Hey, I wasn’t sure if you remembered me…” she begins and you’re quick to answer.

“I do, yeah. Sorry about the other day,” you say. Chan’s face has a look of dawning comprehension. 

“No, no, it’s fine. I’m sorry if I did something to offend you. I didn’t even catch your name,” Hana says and you open your mouth to share before she cuts you off with a wave of her hand. “No, Jeonghan told me. He’s done nothing but speak about you for weeks now.”

“And I thought I could be annoying,” the mystery person says from behind Hana.

“Oh, I’m so rude. This is my boyfriend, Joshua,” Hana introduces and your brain short circuits. What? Boyfriend?

“And Jeonghan’s roommate. I hit traffic coming back last weekend or I would’ve been there to meet you as well. Make the morning even more awkward,” he jokes.

“I’m sorry,” you say, rapidly trying to make your brain connect. “You two are dating?”

“Yup!” Hana says with a smile and then notices your face. “Wait, what did you think? That I was dating Jeonghan?”

“Oh, well, I don’t know. I just thought…it was still early-ish in the day and…” you stumble awkwardly. 

“Babe, no. Jeonghan is very single. I was just early getting there because Joshua hit traffic and I was excited to see him,” she says. “He will kill me for saying this, but he hasn’t talked about anyone but you since the class started.”

“Please note that I had no part in spilling the beans. I have to live with him,” Joshua jokes. 

“And just so there’s no more confusion, I’m one of her closest friends, Chan. Not a boyfriend or date or anything like that,” Chan says. 

“Oh!” Hana says and turns to Joshua. “Jeonghan was mentioning him, remember? There was a movie we were supposed to watch.” 

“Yeah, he did mention that,” Joshua agrees.

“Anyway, I’m sure you have lots to think about, but I’m nosy and I figured I’d say hi. Have a good weekend!” Hana says, full of more energy than anyone should have on the weekend. Joshua gives a smile and follows her out of the shop.

As soon as they’re out of sight, you drop your head into your hands. All that worrying and you could have just talked to him. Could have avoided this whole idiotic situation. 

“Feeling kinda dumb right now?” Chan asks. You raise your head to glare at him. “I did say it didn’t seem like he was seeing someone.” 

“Not the time, Chan,” you say.

“It’s completely the time. Look, yeah you fucked up by not just talking to him. But, you admitted that you liked him. He clearly likes you. Just talk to him. I’m sure you can fix it,” he says. 

“I don’t know,” you start. “I was such an asshole.” 

“I mean, yeah, you kind of were. But, he spent that whole night after Seungkwan invited them over getting to know your friends. Genuinely interested in everything we said. He’s not doing that just to make more friends. He wants to show you that he can fit into your life without anything really having to change,” Chan reasons and it brings you up short.

“When did you get so smart?” you question.

“I’ve always been smart, you just treat me like a baby,” he says with an eye roll.

“You are the baby in this friend group,” you point out. 

“Just go figure out how to make it up to him,” Chan says. 

Even though you know it was a terrible miscommunication, you’re not sure how to approach Jeonghan for the rest of the weekend. You’re also not sure how the conversation will go. So, despite knowing better, you decide to just take your time. Get yourself completely set for the coming week and figure that you’ll see Jeonghan during the next class. As much as you want resolution, you don’t feel like it would be enough for you to text him and ask to talk. That could also be taken wildly out of context.

So, you prepare for the next class. Make sure you look a little cuter than you normally would for class. Go over what you’re going to say with both Seungkwan and Chan, who’s gotten incredibly invested in the whole situation. It’s another class where you’ll just be sitting in the back and listening, which might also make it easier. You’re a little early getting there so that you can set all your things down. 

But, then the class starts to fill in and you don’t see Jeonghan. Professor Choi closes the door, doesn’t comment on Jeonghan’s absence, and just starts teaching. It’s unusual. He normally takes attendance. Instead, he does a head count of the students and gets on with teaching. Everyone else is there. Jeonghan is the only one missing. You figure that maybe he reached out about missing the class. It leaves a weird feeling in your stomach, though, because you wonder if he’s okay. What if something happened to him? 

At the end of class, you join Choi at the front as you do on every other occasion. The answer comes immediately when Choi looks up at you. “Mr. Yoon emailed me before the class to say that he was feeling very sick and wouldn’t be able to make it. I assured him you would send over some notes on the subject matter today.” 

You try to avoid any relief that you feel at knowing it’s at least nothing that serious. It sucks that he’s sick, but at least he wasn’t in an accident or anything. You need to stop going to the worst case scenario, honestly. “Oh, sure. I’m sure he’s already ahead on the material, but I’ll send it over.”

“He’s such a good student,” Choi agrees. “Thank you for helping him with the proposal. I’m not sure if you read it over, but it’s exactly what I was looking for.”

“I did read it because he wrote it during my office hours. But, it was all him,” you say. 

Professor Choi looks up at you like he knows that’s not entirely true. “I can feel your influence on it. In a good way, of course. You have a habit of helping people get to their best results.”

“Thank you,” you say earnestly. It’s the most genuine compliment he’s ever given you. He reaches into his briefcase and pulls out a folder to hand to you. “Did I miss picking up an assignment to grade?”

“No,” he says with a smile you’re not used to seeing. “This is your letter for the recommendation packet. I already sent it in, but I thought you might like to see a copy.”

“Thank you so much, Professor Choi,” you say with a relieved sigh. 

“You’re incredibly bright, probably one of the brightest students I’ve ever taught,” he says and it takes you completely by surprise. “I know it’s probably seemed like I’ve been hard on you because I have been. I knew there was even more potential in you waiting to be coaxed out. I also know I made it much easier on John to ask for a recommendation. But, between you and I, your letter is much more complimentary and personal than his was. I can’t wait to see what you accomplish.” 

It all suddenly makes sense. Everything that Choi has put you through since asking for his letter. It almost makes you laugh. “I’m sorry for doubting your motives for asking me to TA this class.”

Now, Professor Choi does actually laugh. “Oh, no need to apologize for that. It’s much easier to get the most out of a student when they think they have something to prove.”

“You may be onto something,” you agree.

“I’ll see you next class,” he says and closes up his briefcase to head off.

With that bit of good news, you feel a lot lighter. You almost don’t even need to read the letter (though, you definitely will later). It’s enough to know that your entire future is still open ahead of you. It makes all of the miscommunication with Jeonghan feel incredibly silly. It also makes you feel a little bolder. So, you figure that you still have the location for Jeonghan’s apartment dropped in a group chat. Why not get him some food and medicine to help him feel better? It’ll give you a chance to apologize for how you’ve handled everything up until this point. 

That idea seems a little poorly thought out when you show up at Jeonghan’s apartment with soup and medication. He answers the door, looking completely fine healthwise and confused to see you standing on the other side of the door. 

“Professor Choi said you were really sick so I figured I’d bring some soup to help you feel better,” you offer, holding up the bag to show him. 

“Why are you here?” he asks. There’s none of the normal warmth.

“I was worried about you,” you admit.

He sighs and leans against the doorframe without letting you in. “I can’t do these mind games.” 

“I’m sorry,” you say immediately. “I know I messed up really badly. I owe you an apology.” 

“You might as well come in,” Jeonghan says and steps aside. “Soup does also sound good. It’s cold out.” 

“Right, here,” you say and hand it over to him.

“Is there enough for you to eat with me?” he asks and takes the bag. “Oh, it looks like it. Wanna join me? And you can try to explain what’s been going on?” 

“Sure,” you agree.

It’s mostly silent as Jeonghan heats up the soup and puts it into two bowls for you to enjoy it with him. He sets the bowls at the kitchen table and also sets some drinks down for you. The two of you take a few sips first before you venture to explain what’s been going on.

“I’m really sorry, Jeonghan,” you say.

“So you’ve said,” he comments. He’s not going to make this easy on you.

“That whole night when I stayed here wasn’t exactly what I signed up for,” you admit. He opens his mouth, but you wave him off. “Let me try to get this out. You were so kind and caring to me when you brought me back here. Then, I was kind of expecting something to happen and nothing did…”

“Because you had been drinking. I wasn’t just gonna be like hey, let’s jump into bed when your mind wasn’t fully clear,” he says with a scoff. 

“That’s fair. I get that,” you acknowledge. “Then, I don’t know. I saw Hana sitting out here with you the next day and I just kinda freaked out. I had realized that I might actually like you and here’s this beautiful person in your apartment for who knows what reason. I worried she was your girlfriend or something.”

He snorts a little derisively at that. “That would be kinda shitty to share a bed with you and then let you walk out to find me with a girlfriend. She’s not, by the way. She’s my roommate Joshua’s girlfriend.”

“Yeah, I know. I ran into her and Joshua while I was getting coffee over the weekend,” you admit sheepishly. This seems to surprise him.

“You met Joshua?” he asks. 

“They didn’t tell you?” you ask in return and he shakes his head. “Probably because Hana told me that I’m the only one you’ve talked about since starting the class.” 

“I wouldn’t have even cared if I had an answer to why you started ignoring me,” he says. 

“I got a bit scared,” you say softly. 

“That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t just speak to me,” he insists.

“I know that. I really am sorry, that’s all I can say,” you offer. 

“Well that and you can tell me that you do actually like me. Not that you might like me or something else vague,” he says with a glint to his eyes. 

“You are…infuriating,” you say with a laugh. “You’re beautiful and smart and funny and impossibly kind. You make me want to pull out my hair at least once a day…”

“Don’t do that. You have nice hair,” he interjects.

“But, yes, I’m trying not to be scared anymore. So yeah, I do like you,” you say.

“What about being the TA for my class?” he asks and you shrug. 

“The class will end eventually,” you say. 

“Does this count as our first date, then?” he asks like the true demon he is. 

“Only if you plan something else for our second date,” you concede.

“Deal,” he agrees. 

Everything feels a little bit easier after that. A little bit lighter. Like you actually can breathe for the first time all semester. You tell Jeonghan about the letter and he suggests that you read it right then with him. It makes sense, in a way. Working with Jeonghan has brought out exactly the side to you that Choi wanted to see. It feels like this is kind of his win as well, even though he didn’t realize it. It also feels a little less overwhelming to read it with him by your side. (It’s a rave. Way better than anything you could have dared to hope for and better than any other letter written by him that you’ve read. Everything feels worth it and like it falls into place.)

Now that the awkwardness is out of the way, Jeonghan shares that he wasn’t actually sick, which you already know. It’s obvious looking at him that he feels fine. It does surprise you a bit that he admits to avoiding you to give himself time to process, though. Then he moves onto talking about Joshua and Hana, grumbling that they hadn’t told him about running into you after you relay the entire conversation. Even goes as far as to say that he would have come to class so that you could have figured all of this out. Instead, he admits telling Joshua about the plan to skip. That’s why Joshua isn’t there, though. He claimed he was going to give Jeonghan his space to work through whatever he was feeling and spend the night at Hana’s. You make a mental note to thank Joshua for that. 

“How early is your day tomorrow? Do you want to stay and watch a movie or something?” he asks a little awkwardly when you finish your soup.

“Not that early,” you answer easily. “A movie sounds good, but can we watch something in your room? I feel like laying in bed and being lazy.”

“Oh, uh, sure,” he says.

“We don’t have to,” you say quickly.

“Can I say something that’s really gonna make me look…not cool?” he asks. 

“Sure,” you say curiously.

“You make me a little nervous,” he admits. 

That completely surprises you. Nothing about Jeonghan really seems anything short of confident in everything that he does. It’s kind of nice to see him falter. All you do is hold out a hand to him. “It’s okay, there’s nothing to be nervous about.”

He takes your hand easily and lets you lead him into his own bedroom. Seems very content to let you just set the pace of what’s happening. So, you settle on top of his covers and he hands you the remote. It’s nice to get to control what’s on the TV for a change, even if you’re not really paying much attention to it. Jeonghan is a little stiff against his headboard as you try to settle into his body. 

“Is it okay if I lean against you like this?” you ask, suddenly worrying this is too much.

“Of course,” he says after a moment. 

“You can tell me if…” you start.

“No,” he says firmly. “No, I’ve been thinking about this since the last time I had you in my bed.”

“Just since then?” you tease.

“No, it was definitely before then, but I’ve already lost a lot of cool points,” he says.

“I don’t want to possibly misread the signs, but are you okay with…” you start, once again, before he cuts you off.

“I am fine with absolutely anything you want to give me,” he says and you wish you could see his face. Wonder if he’s blushing.

“And if that’s just a cuddle?” you test.

“Fine,” he says.

“Or if it’s a kiss?” you ask and feel the breath he takes. “Or what about if it’s a lot more than a kiss?” 

He takes another beat. His voice sounds a bit strained when he speaks. “Definitely more than just fine.” 

That’s really all the confirmation that you need. Making sure you’re on the same page is important and getting this kind of consent makes it easier to relax. You settle further back into his chest and pull his arm around you, let one of your own arms drape across his lap. It feels like it might be easier for him to settle that way. So that you can’t see his face and he doesn’t have to worry about losing any more cool points. Not that those really matter with you anyway. More than anything, it’s entertaining to see the way this constantly confident, perpetual pain in the ass gets so tongue-tied now that he’s getting what he wants. 

The more time goes by, the more he seems to relax a little more into what’s happening around him. His fingers absently run along your arm, raising goosebumps in their wake. He leans his head down to meet yours and you could swear his lips press the lightest kiss into your hair. His entire presence is a little overwhelming. And he smells amazing. It’s such a unique scent that you can’t place. Something light, airy, and delicate. Something that seems to perfectly suit him. It might be your new favorite scent. 

Nothing about the TV show is keeping your attention. It feels like little more than a precursor to what you both know is coming. But, Jeonghan doesn’t make the first move beyond the contact his fingers make with your arm. The first actual move seems like it might belong to you, which is actually kind of exciting. It’s a bit thrilling to know that you’re going to be in charge with this man who’s done nothing but send every one of your senses into overdrive. It’s nice to know that he doesn’t need to be in control of everything. 

Almost as if you’re testing the water, you run your hand across his lap, careful to go slowly. He stops breathing for a second as he seems to wait to see what you’ll do next. It prompts you to run your hand back and forth a few more times, not bothering to move on from the subtle imprint of his dick through his sweatpants. Everything about him stills: his hand freezes on your arm, he doesn’t fidget, and his breathing is incredibly shallow. He starts to get noticeably harder underneath your hand while you keep your eyes trained forward, even though you have no idea what’s going on in whatever show you picked as background noise. There’s something strangely intimate about this in the way it feels a little innocent. 

Finally, when he starts to moan a little with each motion, you pull your hand away. Delight in the way he actually whimpers at the loss of contact. It’s time to actually face him so that you can see what you’re doing to him. Repositioning yourself, you see the look on his face. He’s a little flushed just from the attention and his eyes are wide. Waiting. All he’s doing is waiting to let you set what happens next, like he can’t really believe that this is happening after so much time. It is, though. 

You run a hand through his hair and marvel at how soft it is when it looks perfectly styled. Either his hair just looks like that or he’s got the best products in the world. Neither feels fair when he’s already this stunningly beautiful. Gently, you lean forward to press your lips against his. Let your hand tangle in his hair as you anchor yourself to him. The kiss is at complete odds with you slowly rubbing him through his pants. There’s a little bit of desperation and you’re not even sure which of you it’s coming from. All you know for sure is that his lips are so soft that they feel like clouds and he doesn’t even fight you for control when you slide your tongue into his mouth. Just meets whatever pace you set. He really is happy with whatever you give him. 

Your free hand winds down his body and doesn’t waste any time slipping into the waistband of his pants. When your hand wraps around his cock, he tries to pull away from the kiss, but you don’t let him. The moan that comes from you running your thumb over his tip gets caught up in your lips. You pull your hand out just long enough to spit into your palm and return it to the inside of his pants. Jeonghan does break the kiss when your hand wraps around his cock and strokes the first time, a hiss coming out of his mouth. 

“Are you still sure you’re okay?” you ask, but it’s almost more of a tease. 

“Fuck,” he hisses out. “Please don’t stop. Please.”

Hearing him nearly begging like that is the sweetest sound you’ve ever heard. Never could you have imagined you would have this man like putty beneath your hands. It’s going to your head a little bit and then it hits you. You wonder if you can make him come just like this. Wonder how that would feel to have that kind of power over him. 

So, you do the only logical thing, and decide to test it out. You kiss him again, fierce and messy and desperate. Keep a steady rhythm of stroking him. He’s a squirming, writhing mess under your touch and it’s like he doesn’t even remember what to do with his hands. It’s actually turning you on as well to know that he wants you this bad. That nothing more than your lips and his touch are going to send him over the edge. It’s obvious when he starts getting close because he works harder to break the kiss. Can’t seem to catch his breath. You take a little pity on him and kiss across his jaw. Even pull away to watch him as he squeezes his eyes shut.

“You’re gonna make me come,” he whimpers.

“So come,” you direct.

“I can’t come in my pants like a fucking teenager,” he protests. “Please, I’m begging…”

“I want you to come for me, Jeonghan. Right now. Exactly like this. Come for me and show me how desperate you’ve been to have my hands on your cock,” you instruct.

“Fuck,” he draws out. “Fuck, I can’t…I’m gonna…”

His release comes almost out of nowhere, so hard and heavy that it coats your hand as you continue to stroke him through the release, coaxing every last bit from him. Once he’s spent, he collapses back against the headboard of the bed and you see any tension drain from his body. You pull your hand from inside his pants and wipe it off on them. Thankfully, he doesn’t even seem to protest. 

While his breathing steadies, you shift and get off of the bed. He slowly opens his eyes and tracks your movement. Only swallows a little hard when you start to undress without taking your eyes off him. Sometimes, this part makes you a little self conscious. It’s much easier now, though, knowing you had just made Jeonghan come in his pants. That’s an ego boost you never expected to get. His breath stutters when you even remove your bra and panties, leaving yourself completely exposed before him. His eyes go somehow even wider when you get back onto the bed and position yourself in front of him. He reaches out to touch you, but you slap his hand away.

“Oh, no, no,” you chastise softly. “No, my little demon, you are going to watch now.”

“Watch?” he asks. 

“Yes, watch,” you confirm and study his face. “Don’t you want to watch me get myself off? Don’t you want to watch me show you exactly what it is that I like?” 

“F-fuck that’s…wow,” he stutters out. 

You lean back, using one hand behind you on the bed to brace yourself. You spread your legs open to show him the way your pussy already glistens a little. The kissing and the feel of bringing him over the edge like that really turned you on. It’s a little bit of a first for you. Running a finger up your entrance, you collect some of the wetness there. Do it once more for good measure. And then, still emboldened by what’s happened so far, you reach forward to hold your finger out to Jeonghan. Let it run along his lip until he takes it into his mouth and tastes you. 

“Fuck, you’re so…just, fuck,” he hisses. “Can I…”

“No,” you say and cut him off, pulling your finger back. 

Now that you’ve had a taste of him begging for something, you want to drive him to that again. Want to get him so turned on that he can’t even see straight. You slowly tease at your entrance and watch the way his eyes track each movement. When you use your free hand to play with one of your nipples, he seems like he can’t really figure out where to look. Then, you slide one finger into your pussy and it’s like he can’t see to take his eyes off the motion. You moan, even though it’s nowhere near enough of a stretch, and increase the rhythm. Quickly add another finger and start to fuck yourself just the way you like. Just the way you would when you want to draw out your release a little more than using a toy. You slide your free hand down your body and use it to rub small circles on your clit. Somewhere, the thought of Jeonghan watching you becomes a little secondary. It’s incredibly sexy to know that he’s just watching, but you’re also invested in your own high. You want to do this for yourself as much as to show Jeonghan. Can’t possibly realize that Jeonghan is even more turned on knowing that you’re so lost to your own passion. 

The orgasm washes over you more suddenly than you’re expecting and it takes a moment to catch your breath. It takes another moment to realize that Jeonghan has undressed himself while you were lost in your own world. He isn’t touching himself though and you can’t figure out if he’s still sensitive or just waiting for your permission. It’s hard to avoid the realization that every part of him is beautiful. His body is all lean lines, not overly muscular, yet still looks strong. Even his cock is kind of beautiful in a way, which isn’t fair. It’s not surprising, though. 

“That was one of the sexiest things I’ve ever seen,” he admits, a little breathless. 

“D’you think you can make me come as well?” you tease. “Want to feel my pussy squeeze around you?” 

He nods immediately and it makes you laugh a little. “I know I can. I want…” 

“To taste me?” you offer and his eyes go dark with lust. 

“Can I?” he asks. “Can I actually get a taste? Just your finger wasn’t really enough.” 

“I want to see what that mouth can do when it’s not talking a mile a minute,” you say. “I hope you’re just as good with your tongue.”

It’s obvious that this catches him a little off guard that you’re so confident now with him. So easily fall into telling him exactly what you want him to do. But, you’re very curious to see what his skills are like. The two of you reposition so that he can settle between your legs. His eyes find yours, searching, Maybe asking permission. You nod and he uses his fingers to spread your lips open. He licks up your core and mutters a quiet fuck under his breath at your lingering wetness. The breath against your core sends a slight shiver through your body. 

After all the build up and everything, you don’t really have the patience for him to go slow. So, you tangle your hand into his hair and press his head further into your cunt. Force his nose to brush against your clit. Don’t really stop to consider if it’s too much for him. His moans into you seem to show that they’re not, though. It’s nice to just take what you need and know that he’s enjoying it just as much as you are. When you ask him (read: tell him) to add a finger, he does it without question. For someone that always seems to have a retort for everything, he’s surprisingly quiet now. Nothing piercing the quiet of the room apart from the constant stream of moans from both of you and curses from you as you get closer to your second orgasm. 

The second one hits a lot harder than the first, a fact that you wouldn’t really want to admit to Jeonghan. It’s too obvious to hide, though. You don’t even care. Jeonghan’s tongue is far better than anything you could have dreamed about. Not that you were dreaming about it. (And not that you ever got yourself off in the shower or in your bed, late at night, thinking of the annoying guy who wouldn’t ever seem to leave you alone. Absolutely not.) When you open your eyes again, you find Jeonghan looking at you with awe. There’s nothing smug about his look. It makes your insides go even a little mushier. It’s definitely not the time for those kinds of emotions. 

“Wow,” is all Jeonghan says. 

“Yeah,” you agree. 

“Do you still want to…? I mean, can we still…” he starts.

“Jeonghan, do I make you feel that nervous?” you joke. “You just ate me out and made me come all over your face.” 

He shrugs. “I just don’t wanna press my luck.” 

“Maybe we just stop here then,” you say with a return shrug. “I’m not sure you want it enough.”

“Oh, no, I definitely want it,” he disagrees.

“Are you sure?” you taunt. “Sure you can handle it?” 

That unleashes a side of Jeonghan you haven’t fully seen yet. The next moment, he’s begging you for your pussy. Begging you to show you how much he still wants you. Begging to make up for the fake that he came in his pants just at your touch. Just begging for anything and everything. He even goes as far as to say that he’ll do all the work. It shouldn’t be working for you. It’s kind of lame, the way he just can’t seem to stop himself from running his mouth. And, unfortunately, it’s working for you. You kiss him just to make him stop. 

The kiss immediately turns into something desperate, but you’re not sure which one of you takes it there first. Every new bit of him you get only makes you want even more of him. It’s kind of insane to think you weren’t even sure you liked him when it’s been so easy to fall into this. Jeonghan breaks the kiss and reaches over into his nightstand for a condom. Somehow, he manages to get it on in nearly record speed, despite his nerves about everything else. He doesn’t waste any time in positioning himself, either. You lie back when he spreads your legs open and seems a little drunk on the sight of you. You tap his side with your foot and he shakes his head clear of whatever he was thinking. 

Jeonghan lines himself up at your entrance and presses his tip in. You arch your back, moaning at the initial stretch. It’s immediately better than either of your fingers or his tongue. You wrap your legs around his waist to pull him in and it makes him snap into you in one swift movement. All you wanted was to be full and you squeeze your walls around him. Direct him to move. The two of you work together to figure out the right pace, knowing that neither of you is likely to last all that long. You’re both a little sensitive from everything in the lead up to this moment. Still, you revel in the way that Jeonghan rolls his hips into you. Appreciate the way that he nearly pulls all the way out before snapping back into you. Moan into the sloppy kiss when your mouths crash together. It’s hard to tell where your own whines start and his moans begin. The sounds all kind of blend together into some kind of weird harmony. 

Where Jeonghan was incredibly vocal when he was begging, he doesn’t seem to have a coherent thought to share now. Yet, his eyes never leave you. Like he’s trying to map each part of your body. It’s too fast for him to learn what you actually like. That’s not what you need, not right now. What you need is to have another release, one that comes at the same time as his own. And that’s exactly what you get when you come hard again just as you feel his thrusts stutter. A moment later, he’s coming into the condom and eventually stilling inside of you. 

The last thing you want is to feel the loss of him inside of you, but you understand that he has to pull out. His breathing is heavy when he rolls over onto his back. It’s clear that he doesn’t want to get out of bed. That it’s a struggle. But, he gets up to dispose of the condom and you hear water running in the distance. He returns a moment later with a wet cloth and starts gently washing you without even asking. He tosses the cloth on his dresser and then collapses back on the bed next to you. Pulls you into his body without a second thought.

“I don’t want to go anywhere,” you say softly while you’re nestled into him. 

“Like I would let you leave,” he says just as softly.

“Oh, the man that begs for my pussy is going to force me to stay?” you challenge. 

You feel the way his chest slightly rumbles with laughter. “I was hoping you’d let me live for a second.”

“After you not letting me live since we met? Fat chance,” you answer.

“I suppose I deserved that,” he says.

“I really don’t want to leave tonight, though, so hopefully you have more clothes to lend me,” you say.

“You’re gonna have to let me move for that,” he says in return.

“Worst offer I’ve gotten all day, but fine,” you agree and allow him to disentangle from you. 

Once he offers you some clothes, you also get up from the bed to get dressed. Try not to ogle Jeonghan too much as he does the same. He catches you, because of course he does, but surprisingly doesn’t say anything. Only smiles back at you. You help him remake the bed before the two of you go back out into the living area. It occurs to you that you didn’t exactly let your roommate know what you were up to before just heading straight over to see Jeonghan.

A fact that is immediately obvious when you see the texts and missed calls on your phone. Oop.

“Hey,” you call out to Jeonghan. “My roommate, I’m sure you remember him…”

“Yeah, Seungkwan, right?” he asks.

“Yeah, he’s freaking out because I forgot to say I was coming over here,” you say. “I’m just gonna call him really quick to let him know I’m fine and I’ll see him tomorrow.”

“Do you want privacy?” he asks and you just laugh lightly.

“Not sure I need it,” you say and the phone is already ringing. Seungkwan answers nearly immediately.

“What the fuck? Are you okay?” he asks instead of saying hello.

“Chill, Kwan, I’m fine,” you answer. 

“Where are you? Your class ended hours ago,” he says.

“Has it been hours?” you ask with some amount of surprise. 

“Wait, where are you?” he asks again, sounding calm but skeptical now. 

“I just…just don’t worry about me for the night, okay? I’ll be home tomorrow,” you say. 

“Switch to video, you whore,” Seungkwan says skeptically.

“Don’t be a weirdo,” you retort.

“Come on! Turn on your camera!” he yells and you pull the phone away from your ear.

“Fucking fine,” you grumble and press the button on your phone before holding it back up to your face.

“I KNEW IT!” he shrieks gleefully. “Who’s shirt is that?”

“Oh, well, it’s…” you stall and look over at Jeonghan. He’s already moving toward you.

“Well?” Seungkwan prompts as Jeonghan leans over behind you so his face shows in the camera.

“It’s mine,” Jeonghan answers and Seungkwan looks like Christmas came early.

“Well, hello Jeonghan,” he says. 

“I promise to take good care of her and send her back in one piece,” Jeonghan says and Seungkwan can’t contain his grin.

“Keep her as long as you like. I’m about to be so rich,” he says, far happier than he should be.

“Goodbye Seungkwan. I’ll see you tomorrow,” you say and hang up before he can say anything. 

Once you hang up, Jeonghan gives you an odd look. Like he’s trying to figure out what Seungkwan just said.

“Do I…want to ask?” he finally asks.

You sigh. “Seungkwan started placing and taking bets about me sleeping with you as soon as I mentioned you.” 

“And when was that?” he asks, seemingly not even surprised by the bets. You internally curse.

“After the very first class when you mentioned you joined because you like Legos,” you admit. 

“We could have saved so much time,” he whines and you just shake your head.

“This is exactly how it was supposed to go,” you disagree.

“Maybe,” he concedes. “Should we get some sleep? We can figure everything else out in the light of day.”

“Sounds perfect,” you agree and follow him to bed. 

It’s far easier than it should be to settle into bed with him. Like you’ve done it a million times before. Maybe it’s okay to allow yourself to have the things you want. Maybe this can all be as easy as attaching one block to another until you have something amazing. 

i hope you liked it! and like i said, i'll be back to fix any spelling/grammar errors after the weekend.

taglist: @newjihoonie, @tinyelfperson, @dokyeomkyeom, @miriamxsworld, @hongrizon, @klecksstorys, @sunflowergyeomie, @gyuminusone, @aaniag, @straykidswhoo789, @kimseokgen, @beomesbabe, @haolistic, @vanishingboots, @babybae-shisui, @harry-the-pottypus, @okiedokrie-main, @nuttywastelandmentality, @writingbarnes, @gyuhao365, @jjin-kun, @divinityyy, @dibidibidismynameisleeknow, @jelly-n , @christinewithluv, @hipsdofangirl, @sana-is-ms-rmty, @lllucere, @vixensss, @soffiyuhh @aidanjoon, @hanniebub, @stormy1408, @lilifiedeans, @hyucksrealm, @joshuaslv, @tinkerbell460 (strikethrough means can't tag)

[lexirosewrites]

For slick sunday

I am once again asking you to imagine Scream Queen O!Steve & horror fan A!Eddie,

except in this idea/AU Eddie is the co host of a horror podcast similar to Dead Meat but it's called (u guessed it) Corroded Coffin, Eddie hosts & A!Jeff co-hosts & O!Gareth mostly works with the sound while A!Chrissy & B!Felix (unnamed freak who apparently has a canon name but idc I like the name felix & using this name made me realize gender things so it has special meaning for me now) ANYWAY Chrissy & B!Felix mostly handle research

Well they talk about all horror not just movies, they discuss books & they discuss other podcasts & of course they discuss movies. Eddie & Chrissy are slasher fans through & through, Jeff is more for the supernatural stories, when Gareth comes on an episode very occasionally he's an unrepentant fan of elevated horror like The VVitch, meanwhile if felix is on an episode it's explicitly because they're talking about cosmic horror OR horror coming out of east asia (felix is a Junji Ito devotee, as am I & yes this is me projecting onto a fictional character)

WELL their podcast is fairly popular, they're considered Z-list celebrities within popular culture maybe D-list amongst horror fans, the Corroded Coffin podcast has gone on tours & done live shows. they've even established a small podcast network they call Hellfire Club & expanded to making more shows: chrissy & felix host a folklore podcast, Jeff & a new guest every week have discussions abt the new expression of horror abt being a marginalized identity (i.e. being a black person in a white supremacist society or being a beta woman/omega in an alpha centric patriarchal culture)

Then one day their business email gets an inquiry abt a new movie coming out in the next year & the executive producer wants to know if they'd be interested in a slight PR stunt/limited podcast series around this movie.

The producer in question is one Jim Hopper, a known name who's only ever produced action flicks, apparently he's dipping his toe into the horror space bc his daughter & step-son r huge fans of the genre & encouraged him to take on a script he'd normally ignore.

The movie is called Strange Times On Main Street & it follows an ensemble cast tht r meant to b the residents of a dwindling town in nowhere Indiana in the early 1980s, the horror factor comes in when the different characters start to see things tht might not b real but all seem connected to an individual who has terrorized the town for decades, culminating in a town hall meeting where they're told there's nothing tht can b done; so the situation dissolves into an eerily quiet mob tht ends up hunting down this person & the movie ends abruptly with this guy being executed in broad daylight practically in the middle of Main street.

They agree right away. The gimmick involves Eddie & Chrissy acting like the hosts of a true crime podcast who are "interviewing" the people of the town supposedly years after the incident. Everyone is excited because there r some big names involved in the movie, most notably the undisputed scream queen Steve Henderson who got half of his fame from working his way up from among stunt doubles on action movies so he's known to do his own stunts.

Well, it's a fantastic process & absolutely everyone has a wonderful time & Eddie sort of bumbles his way thru the episode w Steve (whose character is implied to have been the one to kill the supposed antagonist) but Steve finds it cute & gives Eddie his number.

The movie does well & wins not only a Screamy Award but an actual Oscar. Steve even wins the first Oscar of his career for best omega man in a leading role. He kisses his date before going up to give his speech, who's his date you ask? Eddie Munson host of popular podcast Corroded Coffin

They announce their wedding & mating a month after the awards show

horror meet cute🥰

[that-hazbin]

An important question for Media Demon AU: what do the other Sins think of Lucifer and Lilith's more personal involvement with Hellborns and not just Sinners. Because I'm pretty sure that, with the King and Queen being more politically involved with the other Rings, the other Sins are gonna wonder what caused this sudden change. How do they react to how different the Pride Ring is with the Media Demon basically spearheading change through encouraging actual expression of culture and the arts.

If Belphegor really is in charge of Hell's medical scene, what would she think of Sinner's researching medical treatment for Angelic Steel related injuries?

Ozzie and Bee would no doubt love the brighter and happier atmosphere. I headcanon that Asmodeus doesn't get involved in Canon's Sex Industry because he utterly despises Valentino. With Angel Dust in charge in this AU's Porn Industry, I bet it's only a matter of time before Ozzie comes knocking for a merger.

Bee-elzebub on the other hand would love the positive emotions from people happily and proudly expressing their culture and talents. She would especially love the parties that take place in the Doomsday District, since while I'm sure she loves hosting parties she definitely loves the chances to just be another party-goer.

Mammon undoubtedly tries to profit off anything that comes from the Sinners in this version of Hell. Alastor buts heads with him constantly because a money-obsessed, non-imaginative, zero integrity businessman is what lead to Hell's quality decline in the first timeline and he'll be double-damned if he lets it happen again.

I can't think of anything for Satan or Leviathan other than Satan being interested in human entertainment involving fighting and the cowboy phase of mid-North America(?), if he shows any interest. Leviathan would probably be interested in the more coastal/island/beach oriented cultures.

I think the Sins are probably going to have mixed opinions about Lucifer and Lilith taking a more active role in politics and law, and they won't automatically look towards Alastor as the cause of this change. I don't see either Lucifer or Lilith mentioning that they're getting close to a sinner, since it seems that even the Sins kind of have their own prejudiced mindsets regarding getting close to those who are considered "lesser." And since Bee/Vortex and Ozzie/Fizz aren't a thing yet (and won't be for a few decades), this fear of judgement will probably be more prevalent.

On the flip side, Lucifer and Lilith wouldn't mind talking about the fact that they've been disguising themselves as an imp and succubus to go out, so long as they don't mention Alastor. And it's not hard to keep him out of the conversations, because Lucifer and Lilith do, actually, start going out a lot more simply because the Pride Ring is actually... super nice now? They don't even need the excuse of going to see Alastor, there's just a lot of fun to be had now. And since they're going out disguised, they're getting a more personal look into how life is like for both Hellborn and Sinners because no one is wary of talking about it around them.

The Sins, of course, connect the fact that Pride is nicer now because of The Media Demon, but don't directly link his involvement to Lucifer and Lilith making changes. How could a mere sinner influence the royal family, after all?

I don't think the Sins will find out about Pride becoming nicer immediately, though. They'll mostly stay contained in their rings except for major court trials and other political proceedings. They'll hear whispers about it, but not pay it much mind or even believe it because, well, Pride's been a bit of a dump for millennia. So, at first, Lucifer's and Lilith's sudden energy in politics is going to startle them. And their new stories about going out and having fun would leave them skeptical at best.

Regarding Bee and Ozzie, I can imagine they would love the new changes in Pride if they ever planned on visiting. While I believe Ozzie does have a business in the porn industry, he definitely didn't fuck around with the Pride Ring specifically because of how little consent was respected in the past. Bee similarly avoided Pride because their parties and consumption never really had good energy, just a lot of shame, self-loathing, anger, etc.

I think the Morningstars could one day invite them on an outing. Bee and Ozzie have been hearing whispers about the changes but didn't fully believe it— until they actually got there, and woah. This place is amazing??? Holy fuck, guys, the last time they visited was a century ago and it was not this fun.

And then Bee and Ozzie would spread the word to the other sins. Who also won't believe it at first, until they take a little visit themselves and what the fuck? What in Lucifer's name happened here? Where's the corpses on the streets? The stink of sewage? The gang wars? Fires? Fistfights? Shootings? Why is everything so clean, what's with this new architecture, where's that bakery smell coming from, FUCK that smells so fucking good I NEED it—

Mammon would definitely see this as a new cash cow to exploit, up until he has to deal with Sinner Lawyers who've been perfecting their craft for centuries. Mammon's going to be PISSED and have many headaches because this damned fucking Media Demon is a GATEKEEPER who WON'T SHARE HIS SHINY NEW TOYS. Fucker. Meanwhile Alastor is also going to be having headaches because this fucking clown won't leave him alone, and he already has enough shit on his plate to deal with.

As for Leviathan, Satan, and Belphagor, I'm not entirely sure I want to talk about how they would feel about this new Pride Ring, because we don't have too much about their characters yet. Satan maybe would be interested in southern entertainment, and be disappointed by the lack of death fights, but that's as far as I can think for him. Belphagor is such a cutie but she and Leviathan have, like, no personalities as of yet so I'm just not gonna touch it until then. (If you couldn't tell, I especially adore Belphagor's design lmao.)

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

Sea salt and freedom

Words: 1,385 [also on AO3]

Rated: M

Tags: Fantasy AU; Dragon Eddie Munson; King Steve Harrington; Soul bond; Mates; Implied sexual content; Monsterfucker Steve Harrington; They're in love, your honor

Notes: @house-of-the-moving-image said give me Upside Diner or Hic sunt dracones verse for my birthday, and I said why not both? Here's your surprise second ficlet, enjoy! 🐉💕

“Is this really necessary?” Steve asks as his dragon slips his favorite piece of silk over his eyes. He tries to go for annoyed, but can't quite keep the giddy laugh out of his voice. Hasn't been able to ever since they left the castle for their little get-away. “Or is this another weird sex thing of yours?” 

Eddie hums in mock-thought, a deep rumbly sound that floats through the fuzzy darkness behind the blindfold and tingles all the way down Steve’s spine, in his soul. His hands tie off the knot at the base of Steve’s neck, then go on to toy with his hair. His breath tickles the shell of Steve’s ear as he speaks. 

“What a question, beloved. You know how much I enjoy making you squirm.” As if to prove his point, he nips at the junction of Steve’s neck and shoulder, chuckling at the shiver and sharp intake of breath it gets him. “But also, you'd be able to see it once we're over those mountaintops, and I don't want you to just yet. Wanna look at your face when you do. So be good and wear this for me, yes?” 

Steve swallows the moan that's building in his chest, even though it's difficult with Eddie peppering his neck and jaw in bites and kisses. 

“Is this even safe? Doesn't sound like the best idea, riding you blindfolded.” 

“Oh, but it isn't far now, my pretty. And besides, you've ridden me plenty of times,” Eddie replies, and Steve can practically hear the suggestive brow wiggle. He rolls his eyes behind the blindfold. “You'll just need to rely on your other senses and trust me to keep you safe. You can do that, can't you?” 

Steve melts into Eddie’s touch as he is turned and pulled into a kiss, and forgets to reply. He doesn’t need to. They both know that trusting each other comes as naturally as breathing.

*

It's the weirdest feeling, flying blind, but it works surprisingly well. What he lacks in sight, the rest of his senses seem determined to make up for. Suddenly, he's hyper-aware of his dragon’s body under his, the way those strong muscles move. They announce every swerve and change in course before it actually comes, allowing him to adjust his weight in turn. Where his regular, human senses don't suffice, the soul bond fills in flawlessly, like a safety line tethering him to his mate's body and mind. 

The sensation is strange and thrilling and exhilarating. He thought he knew how much in tune they are - Eddie’s body and soul as familiar as his own. But this? It's like the lines between their very beings are blurring into each other. It’s strange and beautiful all at once, and it makes him wonder what else they could do with the blindfold on. His dragon purrs, and the invisible connection thrums with it - the familiar, wordless Mine. Steve smiles, pressing himself closer to his mate's body so that he can kiss the warm scales. Yours. Always.  

The roughest part is getting off his dragon’s back, actually. They land with barely a sound and he descends with practiced ease - but the ground is all soft and weird. He wobbles and makes a startled, undignified sound, and the only thing that saves him from landing square on his ass is Sweetheart’s giant head shoving itself into his space to steady him.

"What the fuck?” Steve mutters while the body next to his shifts and his dragon's laughter turns human. “Warn a guy!” 

“But where would the fun be in that?” Eddie quips. Steve can feel how he drapes himself around him - arms around his waist, tail circling his legs, wings enveloping the both of them. “Didn't wanna give anything away.” 

He trails off, letting the silence linger between them. 

Except it isn't silent. Instead, there's a million and one strange sounds. The rush of wind catching on cliffs. The rustle of dry grass. The shrieks of unfamiliar birds in the distance. 

Water. 

Gurgling, lapping, murmuring all around them, mingling with the other sounds, filling all of his senses. He can feel it in the very air, can feel the spray of it settle on his skin, in his hair. He gulps and licks his lips and they taste like salt. 

“Eddie,” he breathes. His voice comes out hoarse and shaky, but he doesn’t find it in himself to feel embarrassed. Knows he doesn't have anything to feel embarrassed about anything when it's just the two of them. “Eddie, let me see.” 

He only realizes that his hands have flown up to tear at the blindfold when Eddie’s settle on top of them, gently prying them away. 

“Of course, my king. Allow me,” his dragon rumbles, kissing his knuckles. Then, he drops Steve’s hands and reaches for the blindfold. 

The knot slips open. The silk falls away. 

And for the first time in his life, Steve sees the ocean. 

At first, he thinks he must be dreaming, because there's just no way this much water is real. He's heard stories of it, of course, has imagined it a thousand times over. But then again, he had heard plenty of stories about dragons, and none of them ever came close to the real thing. 

For a long while, he just stands and stares, not knowing where to look first. The sunlight catching on the water, creating rippling patterns of light? The waves, crowned with white seafoam, lapping at their feet in a weirdly hypnotic dance, leaving dark imprints on the sand in their wake? The way the sea and the sky melt into each other on the horizon, so much like their souls? 

He thinks he could look at all of this forever and never get tired of it. 

“Well?” Eddie asks. His smile is large and eager, and a little smug. His tail twitches excitedly where it's curling around their ankles. “Do you like it? Because I'm trying to pick up what you're thinking, but all I'm getting is that weird, fuzzy-” 

He doesn't get any further, because Steve whirls around, grabbing his face in both hands and crashing their lips together, and his words trail off into a pleasantly surprised oomph. The suddenness of the assault tips their balance, and before Steve knows it, they're going down in a heap on the sandy ground. A particularly large wave sloshes over them, wet and foamy and cold. Steve shrieks and laughs all at once. Eddie hisses - much like Dustin’s cat that one time Joyce accidentally emptied a bucket full of dishwater over its head - and glowers at him in affront, but that only makes matters worse. Steve erupts in a fresh round of cackles that only quieten when Eddie seals their lips together and licks them right out of his mouth.

He doesn't quite know how long they stay like this, but it must be a while, judging by the way his clothes are drenched in salty water and his stomach hurts from laughing and his head is dizzy from all the kissing. 

“It’s beautiful,” he murmurs against Eddie’s lips, fingers carding through wet curls to find the base of the horns. His dragon’s pupils blow wide, the gold around them swirling and glowing with desire. The bond thrums with it and Steve feels the familiar heat pool at the base of his own spine. “Do you … Do you think I can go for a swim?” 

Eddie huffs a laugh. 

“You and the water. I swear you must’ve been a little merman in some other life.” His hands have pushed up Steve’s soaked shirt, fingers drawing patterns on the naked skin. “Of course you can, just don’t expect me to join. I’ll stay on land where it’s nice and dry and enjoy the sight.” 

“Oh, I’m sure you will,” Steve grins and surges up for another kiss. It tastes like sea salt and freedom. “You can warm me back up once I’m done. Maybe we could … go for another ride with the blindfold?” 

The bond crackles with desire, like a firework of tiny sparks. Eddie hums, low and pleased, and maneuvers Steve into a sitting position so that he can pull the wet shirt over his head. 

“Now that, my liege, would be my greatest pleasure.”

[dapper-nahrwhale]

Now hear me out because I typically detest soulmate aus with the fiery burning passion of a thousand bad bus schedules and all.

But for leverage, a soulmates au, with their name written on you, is more like the hope and promise that you have the capacity to care about someone one day, maybe. But also:

I think Sophie would be terrified of it I think it would keep her up at night, that someone knows her name, but they don't know her. That there's no way anyone can because she's not real. She's such a hopeless romantic, but to her it's not romantic, it's terrifying. It's an existential crisis. I think she would try to lose herself in the romance of it but when she thinks about soulmates too much it makes her feel sick.

Nate, predictably, is cynical about soulmates. Just a fluke, just pointless hope, just connecting with anyone who has their name on you, it's just a placebo effect, it's not real. It's just the convenient mathematical probability of how many soulmates stay together and lying to yourself to do so. That's just what love is. It doesn't matter.

Hardison thinks soulmates could be pretty cool, if they were real. Unfortunately, they're not. At least not for him. He's looked, he's tried, he's searched every single person on earth with the names on him, but no such luck. With his skills, he should be able to find them. Alas, he can't find them so they can't be real. He thinks soulmates would be nice, sure it's some weird thing that this, but this is just the way the world works. For everyone but him.

The amount of thought Parker has given to soulmates is the exact same she gives to anything that doesn't concern her or thieving. Almost none. She just thinks it's kinda creepy. That the words written on your skin say who you're going to be with. It's weird. She doesn't give any thought to hers. Whoever they are, they don't matter. They'll just get in the way of her doing thief things. She works alone.

Eliot isn't scared of pretty much anything. Except soulmates. Seeing those names on him terrifies him, just a bit. Knowing him will get them hurt in the end. That's how this works. He doesn't want to know them, or meet them, or ever see them. He avoids anyone with similar names, he can't get attached, they won't last, it can't bring anything good. Soulmates are a very real thing, and he won't be burned by them again. When he was a kid, he thought it was a sweet thing. Now he knows better. Now he knows it's not.

Of course, all of them are wrong.

[marru7]

DC prompt

OK, I had a random idea for AU about Gotham rogues and criminals liking and admiring 3rd Robin. And like, doing it a lot. They remember that boy was the only one who was stopping Batman when he lost control of himself in grief and the only one who gave first aid to severely injured by Batman criminals at the times. They know he became Red Robin and they are easier on him than on other vigilantes, showing him respect and/or gratitude. They actually think he's the only person or one of few who are able to stop Batman from becoming too dark and cruel because of what they witnessed back then. Batfamily discovers it different ways and Tim is the only one who doesn't have a clue about it.

Of course most of criminals and rogues aren't really obvious, they're still who they are after all. Also none of batfam really was with Bruce at his lowest except of Tim and Alfred so they don't know how really bad it was. That's why they don't know and don't have a reason to notice "special treatment" to Tim.

First time when it began to come out was in Red Hood's gang. Some of old members had their nostalgic moment which Jason overheard. Criminals don't really talk about "dark" Batman times, due to bad memories, so Jason heard about it first time. He joins the talk and listens some stories. He decides to keep new information to himself, realizing no one from "bat kids" knows about it. Also Jason becomes softer towards Bruce and Tim, knowing how actually Bruce grieved about him.

Second person who found out is Cass. Criminals' body language tells her everything when she teams up with RR.

Steph and Duke found out it, going through old reports at Bat computer.

Dick and Damian found out in patrol. Probably at the times when Bruce was lost in the time stream and Dick took Batman's mantle. Something pissed Damian off, he became a bit too cruel and Dick had to calm him down. One of criminals compared new Robin with "dark" Batman, finding irony how their roles changed.

Barbara discovered it when James was telling her about an interaction between a rogue and RR. She noticed slight changes in the rogues behavior and connected the dots. (James loves telling Barbara stories from his job, but avoids all the cruelty, so Barbara has never heard about grieving Batman from him.)

Once Tim isn't around but the rest of batfam is together, Steph raises the question if others know about criminals' "special treatment" towards Tim. Everyone confesses how they found out about it and they realize that the only one who doesn't know is Tim himself. They unanimously decide not to tell him, wary of his potential to become new criminal authority.

---

Lol, I hope it makes some sense. English isn't my 1st language so if you noticed something weird in text, please tell me, I'd love to improve.

[slowlysoluminary]

after that wack-tastic piece of media i figured we could all!! use a break!!!!!!! so!!!!!!

(more) doodles below the cut. and some commentary! Hurray!

^^ Post game is interesting. Most of the timeloop is about figuring the deal with the memories, some of it is about sif comng to terms with the king, and the very very end of it is about everyone regaining their memories.

so i say it again post game is REALLY interesting!!! because everyone, collectively, is trying to balance their old memories and their new memories. everyone except siffrin. who is not 1:1 old siffrin but is the closest to it, considering how much loop's been through.

loop??? becomes corporeal at some point in the end.

it's very bittersweet! i think! the whole of the party does an "i want to remember!!!" sequence, fighting with their own minds to fill the gaping holes they'd always ignored.

-- loop, after realizing the extent to which they're familiar with the party, had tried desperately to get the party to remember them throughout the loops. in hopes that something would change. they never remembered.

at the same time, siffrin is talking to the king - they're fighting with eachother physically and verbally, desperately trying to get the other understand. resetfrin is not the siffrin the king hated so earnestly, not the siffrin he tried to snuff out.

over the course of many conversations with the king, siffrin caught on. the king is the major lore dump here and is who causes most of the narrative development because i say so !!!!!!!!!!!!

actually. about post game. do you know why their designs are like that

resetfrin hated the lack of autonomy he had over their own body so they decided to. cut their hair. it's a bit curlier now that there's not a lot weighing it down

they decided not to keep the star stuff the king gave them. yada yada character development or whatever.

they gave their cloak to loop!! who is. siffrin again. physically at least. both siffrins are siffrin but with clear differences! like hair length and hair texture! and ohhhhhhhh no what do you mean the universe gave them the wrong body?? what?????? how cruel!!! how blasphemous!!!!!!!

loop hated the idea of keeping her hair darkless (mirror pronouns for loop btw!!! remember that!!!). it reminded them of what it was like to be ghostloop. which they hated!!! but they couldn't have their hair be lightless because that was resetfrin's new thing, so... they just. kept dying the bottom parts of it lightless. it's a compromise

how does the party distinguish the two siffrins, name-wise? uhhhhhh. ask me that question later. idk.

if.... if i have pre-game planned out. and post-game planned out.

then the inly thing I don't have planned out is the ACTUAL time loop bit

it's quite daunting because? that's like the entire point of the original game? it feels like i hve to live up to so much and like fhe loops have to have such a packed, coherent story

though, to be fair, most of what I'm writing will just be. the time loop bit. so i guess I'm figuring it out as i go

anyway, actually talking about the two sketches above, ghostloop is for SIFFRIN'S EYES ONLY!!! she can hit things but things can't hit her and all that.

after figuring out, through past loops, that the King can't see them, they realized siffrin was their only connection to the physical world. The Last Piece Left of them, physically and metaphorically. the whole time they longed for something else to acknowledge their existence. acknowledge theyre real

they also realize they can do Fuckery

the king has a Sixth Sense for loop's Fuckery,,, flipping him The Bird resulted in a rather quick death for Siffrin. whoops!!!!!

this au is. more closely revolved around gloop than i thought. don't worry!! i have a lot of gloop content planned! but. but you need to understand the pain of resetfrin and the king. the misery snd desperation fhe king felt about his country. siffrin pleading with the king, countlessly, hoping to see some SEMBLANCE of the man he once knew. you need to know the missing pieces the party finds, a hollow feeling settling itself around their hearts. you need to know so bad.

so you'll get gloop content! i am a big fan of the little guy myself, really. but !!! this au is not ONLY about them, believe it or not! hehe. haha. giggles. ok ill stop

[glitter-stained]

for wip game: ok i HAVE to ask about the horse movie. I NEED to know more about the horse movie.

Okay so this one I love the AU but am hesitant to share because it's ooc and I'm self-conscious about it. The thing is it's a civilian AU that pulls from canon, arkhamverse, young justice show etc. so obviously it's gonna be different (but I think the mere fact of not dressing up to fight crime at night is gonna change stuff lol). Plus, of course, those horsegirl books I read when I was a preteen and a couple of long-lost fanfics about horses.

Anyway you know how sometimes in those stories a complicated girl with issuesTM goes to a ranch and is told there's this one horse is super wild and dangerous because of how it was abused by its previous owners before, but the horse recognises that the girl is complex and that she was hurt by life, too, and they're the same, and week after week they slowly get to know eachother and stop being so nervous and weary and they end up best friends and she's the only one allowed to ride the horse? Well, that's Jason and Red Hood.

Basically Jason goes to work at the Queen ranch to help with like cooking and cleaning because Roy needs help around so he can spend the time designing himself a prosthetic arm and the ranch takes so much time he needs to delegate, especially since Lian is there. And there, Jason who swore he'd never ride again, meets Red Hood the untamable horse and begins bringing her treats after a hard day of work and the develop a ✨ connection ✨. It's very indulgent, still pretty angsty because of both of their traumas, Roy's addiction and Catherine, their insecurities about Lian, the fact Roy has no idea Jason is his best friend's presumed dead little brother... But it also has all the cliche scenes of riding together, having a picnic by the river, going to dance at the nearby town, and yes, there is a scene where Jason takes Roy's hat and puts in on his head. I have to confess, this is a very feel-good one where yeah bad things happened but it's all in the past and now we're learning to heal and trust again, with just a very obvious metaphor about befriending a horse with treats. It's mostly arrowfam with the batfam kinda in the background. though there's a decent enough dose of dickroy friendship. And Jaymia friendship because if I have an opportunity to create an AU in which they get along then by god I will.

Every hero identity (batfam and arrowfam) is a horse, except for Speedy, Robin and Cheshire Cat which are poneys.

[dasnercaret]

how ISAT makes you feel like going home

so one of my friends said to me "the first time i played (isat) was when i was home sick, i felt like it had curative properties. analyse that mr playstyle 😎" and i took it as a fucking challenge. i've never written an (tumblr-posted) analysis essay before and i'm going into this with a bunch of haphazardly folded ideas and NO OUTLINE fuck it we ball

so to begin with: DORMONT.

isat, as a whole, is extremely a traditional rpg setup. which unfortunately i know little to nothing about, so forgive me in advance if i put my foot in my mouth regarding traditional rpg mechanics. but like many games, you start at a home base, at home. and the whole vibes of the place honestly serve to only emphasize the safe / at home / storybook atmosphere isat cultivates. you wake up in a field, sleepy and tired. your dear friend mirabelle leans over you and tells you to wake up, because you're going to beat the king tomorrow! and you laugh and you're sleepy but eventually you start playing. eventually, you push yourself up and wander around and meet the townsfolk and your party.

now, the player doesn't know the party. they've just opened the game! they don't know these characters. siffrin does though, and it shows in the interactions he has with each one of them. mirabelle teases siffrin about the quality of his nap. isabeau puns with siffrin. odile smiles at him. bonnie... looks away, because of backstory you don't have yet, because you're leaping into this story at its very end. but siffrin knows.

(...)

siffrin knows. which informs his narration, of course, and overall it gives the sense of - you're watching a story already known, with characters who already love each other. like walking into a family home midway through a dinner party, to know and be known in turn.

(you know where you are. you're home!)

siffrin provides some exposition of course, enough to catch the player up and let them know the basics of the world you've set foot into. these people are here because they have natural ties, connections to the land they've been born or raised in or are travelling through. you all are here to defeat the king, who is the epitome of a traditional storybook villain, the big bad evil you defeat at the end of the fairytale. he's just the generically evil guy, with no focus given to the atrocities he must have committed and been willing to commit in order to get where he is. there's no need to be scared of him, not really. (yet.) he's evil, but in the way a storybook villain is evil. all the sharp edges defanged, sanded away, all the humanity and dimensionality and violence inherent in his character compressed into a set of scribbles on the page, words on a screen. it's not personal. it's not.... scary. not to you, and not to siffrin, who's already been floating above it all.

(the rest is under a cut! spoilers for The Entire Rest Of The Game)

similarly, the exposition is in the form of little childlike drawings, emphasizing the same nostalgia it draws on - fairytales, fables, those stories where the heroes collect the magic sword and slay the dragon and save the princess. you know these stories, consciously or not. you love these stories, (probably), and it all serves to emphasize the familiarity with which you step into dormont. heroic stories are extremely common in the stories we love today, from the old classic prince charming to (somewhat) more modern legend of zelda, and no doubt many people picking up isat have a similar passing familiarity with the overarching story of rpgs. (i in fact was the exception, but that's a whole other essay)

the townspeople definitely do not help this vibe as well. they are practically one and all kind, steady people, precisely the sort of common folk you'd want to save in a story where nothing hurts and everyone is safe and loved. they're happy to gift you a flower or a pan au chocolat and cheer you on in your quest, certain of your victory and at least certain of their continued happiness even if you fail. simple, easy, familiar, comforting in the way redwall is comforting or an old set of childhood fairytales is comforting. there's no real judgement, no anger at you for potentially failing and (almost) none of the gross ugly real emotions that would be present in a more 'realistic' story. simple, easy, familiar, comforting.

(You like knowing what happens next!)

so. i think we all know that isat at its core is a game about homesickness. god's sakes mal du pays is literally right there. the central conflict of this game, beneath the overlaying fluff of an rpg archetype and an evil to defeat, is about siffrin not being able to go home while the rest of his party get to do so. and even at this very early stage (approximately act 1 and i would argue a bit into act 2) you can start to see the cracks. siffrin is shown alone, tagging along with the party because he had "nothing else to do" (read: nowhere else to go.) he laughs and pals and jokes with the party, but like before, like always, he merely mirrors them. he makes puns with isabeau because isabeau likes puns, and siffrin liked making him laugh so much so that he adopted puns into a part of his personality. he comforts mirabelle about her future, jokes with odile about her research, and always, always, avoids talking about himself. when they ask where he's going to go after their journey is over, his answer is always a mirror of their own - pilgrimage, research, travel, comedy. when he makes a wish at the favor tree, there's no option to wish for himself.

because the thing is, right. siffrin never thinks of himself. the only options instead are to wish for his family - his home, his only living and real connections in his life, the people surrounding him that really make dormont feel like a real home and not just another friendly place in vaugaurde he's passing through. cause the townsfolk are nice, sure, they're friendly, sure, but - they don't know him. they're not important enough for him to literally rewrite his personality for them. it's his party instead, that he laughs and jokes with and is known with, even if superficially. he wants to be allowed to go home, to stay home. he's been homeless both literally and figuratively for so long that he's beyond desperate to be allowed to keep what little he's found for himself.

(You want to stay with them!)

except - what happens when you beat the game? what happens when you finish the rpg, when you reach the end of the book, when you grow up and leave this set of children's fairytales behind?

you put it down, right? you go home, right? you go back to your home, you go back to travelling, you go back to your family.

what do you do when you don't get to go home? when dormont and the clocktower and the house are the closest you will ever get to home, are the last moment you will ever have being home before it's ripped away from you forever? (ripped away from you just like before - )

you'd want to stay, right? forever and ever and ever?

siffrin is a character who has a very bad time letting go. just like the king, he wants to have, desperately, enough to kill himself a hundred times over for it. and, through the timeloop, he can pull you, the player, and himself and his hapless party along through the timeloop, repeating the same two comforting days over and over and over and over.

and perhaps after a few loops of settling in you, too, can understand why he would want to do this. it's nice, isn't it? knowing what will happen? knowing that these people will always love you? knowing that you can always get the flower, always get the drawing, always get the pan au chocolat, always beat the tutorial kid and get the jackpot? that the townsfolk will always smile at you, that your party - your family, your home - will never know what you've done?

it's not enough, isn't it?

(Dormont, unchanging! Dormont, stagnating!)

no matter how hard siffrin tries to cling to the past turned present to stave off his inevitable future, he is still human. under the fairytale setting and pretty lights, even under his own desire to stay with them, he needs that human connection. he needs something to change, to give way. needs to be seen, to be known, to be loved for himself and not because he's learned the perfect pretty words and actions to trick them into loving him. you, the player, the person driving siffrin, can understand this frustration perfectly as well - you need something to change. you need something to give way, because you can't keep doing this. because you can't hear the same lines over and over and over anymore. you can't do the same thing over and over anymore. you're not happy. siffrin's not happy. something needs to change.

i finished isat over the course of about four days, playing about 12-14 hours per day. during that time, i experienced possibly the most deeply intensely felt emotion i have ever experienced. to this day when i look back on my first playthrough of isat, the sheer depth and fury of that emotion takes my breath away.

and it was frustration. just like siffrin, i was trapped. i couldn't look away, because i loved these characters, because i loved their story, because i wanted them to keep going and going and living and i wanted to keep living alongside them. but i couldn't keep going like this. i couldn't do the same thing over and over and over. i needed something to change, but both siffrin and i were desperately, agonizingly trapped in the same few days. the same places, the same faces, the same lines said rote until i was zoning out through every dialogue interaction, only pausing when i needed to make sure that i hadn't missed something new.

because i loved these characters. i loved how homely they felt. i loved them, i loved them, i -

needed them to be real. to change, to grow, to have their future returned to them. i needed to see them go home, not trapped in this same endless time-frozen loop. i had been trapped at home too long, and the cabin fever was eating me alive. my desire to be allowed to keep playing (to stay in the timeloop) was duking it out with my desire to see them change beyond what they were allowed to change in the span of just two days. i wanted to see bonnie grow up, to see isabeau change into someone else, to see odile come to terms with her half-vaugardian nature, to see mirabelle learn to accept her sexuality (or lack thereof). i wanted them to remember us as family.

ah, isat, absolute king of getting in my head and making me think like siffrin.

back to dormont. in the end, dormont only changes permanently in act 6, after the time loop breaks. the only time the townsfolk ever change, ever coherently move to different places and act differently (act 5 is similar, but i would argue that's because siffrin changes, dormont still doesn't really meaningfully change) is after the loops.

and it's fitting, isn't it? by this point in the game, you could recite dormont backwards and forwards. but by this point in the game, you are well aware that you need to give them back a future. their future. the one they wished for in the first place. they've been trapped in their fairy tale wonderland for long enough. they deserve to go home, truly home, to go forward and live their lives and keep moving on. to allow them to change, to grow.

to allow yourself to change, to grow. to allow yourself to go home, to admit that you want to keep your home you have now, to keep the family you've built from blood and death and tears and stars.

(You want to stay with them!)

to leave dormont. to leave this fairytale behind, and keep living.

[problemstarchild]

I don't go here (college AUs) but please, for your consideration for Laios/Kabru AUs.

Laios is a returning education veteran and Kabru's in a bunch of the same Gen Ed classes as him. He's trying to figure out this guy's deal and going wild coming up with what kind of guy he is, but he overhears (eavesdrops on) Laios after class telling a friend he's probably going to have to drop out again because he can't keep up with his work and is having a hard time juggling his job and school. Kabru gets WEIRDLY invested in trying to help connect Laios with his benefits (because if he fails his classes he won't have an excuse to observe him up close anymore), also helping him go through the school to set up a learning plan to help him finish his work. Kabru is VERY cagey about why he knows how to do all of this stuff. (Autism to autism radar, PTSD to PTSD radar.) BONUS: Study buddies and Laios stays over, Laios is really neat from his time in the army and cleans up Kabru's fucked up and evil apartment which is so nasty because he's never washed a dish or a clothes in his life.

Kabru has to take another lab science credit as part of his Gen Ed courses and decides to pick Environmental Science, with Senshi as his professor. Laios is working with him as a fresh TA and he's just SO fucked up and weird about science. He's supposed to be studying pond water bacteria under a microscope but instead he's just studying this giant slab of beef who keeps bringing venomous snakes to class and talking about their importance to the ecosystem.

[SILLY] Laios is taking some art courses for fun along with the things he needs for his degree, he's pretty good, but he really only draws animals and sometimes landscapes. One class is figure drawings and Kabru is the model. Kabru's being very professional about it even though he definitely Looked once or twice. They have to show their work at the end of class and Kabru lingers behind a little in a robe to look at the art (and also because he definitely wanted Laios' number) but unfortunately for him. Laios' drawings. Are sooooooo bad. And Kabru tries to be so polite about it after class but also what the fuckkkkkk.

[SILLY] Laios isn't even in college in this one. Marcille is a TA for one of Kabru's afternoon classes. They're not close, but they watch some of the same soap operas and take the same bus to the same stop after class where Falin picks Marcille up and Kabru walks the rest of the way to his apartment, so they've taken to sitting together when possible to avoid Bus Strangers and chatting politely about whatever's new on the Daltian Clan this week. Except the one day Laios pulls up instead of Falin because she's busy taking care of a cat she found on the street or something and Kabru is basically like AWOOOOOOGA and is Not As Subtle As He Thinks He Is about asking Marcille casually about him going forward until she sets them up on an unwitting double date.

Kabru got accepted to this school on a fencing scholarship and fantastic grades. Laios is trying out for the fencing team because it's the closest thing he can legally do to being a guy with a cool sword. Rivalry? Shenanigans?

[sunshinereddie]

going a little insane thinking of a non-pennywise au there the losers never separate and they do grow up together but richie and eddie never get together because eddie is never able to accept his own sexuality and richie never acts on his feelings because "i have a crush on you, but i don’t want to tell you that, so i’m going to push you away. but man, if he made the first move, that’d be the best thing ever" (bill hader i'll kill you myself) and so they grow up as best friends who love each other in more than a best friend's way and never knew that the feeling is mutual.

and so they grow up and live as adults and one day eddie tells the losers all about his new girlfriend, myra, and richie dies a little on the inside, but he plays the part of supportive friend and tries to pretend that he doesn't hate myra from the moment he meets her.

but then a few years go by and now they're engaged. richie is of course invited to the wedding and of course part of the wedding party, even though in these past few years richie and eddie have grown a little apart. something about eddie thinking that richie had changed, he always seemed a little standoffish these days, but eddie never connected the dots that he only acted that way when myra was brought along. he never connected the dots that richie only acted that way because he didn't know how to handle the fact that the love of his life was in love with someone else. but eddie was getting married- this was supposed to be the best day of his life, of course he wanted richie there, even though myra didn't.

even when richie is acting weird at the wedding, eddie shrugs it off. god knows he has more important things to worry about than richie being moody in the corner. for example, he has to make sure that each and every table centrepiece is placed perfectly, god forbid a tulip is out of place or myra would have a meltdown. he has to double and triple make sure that the catering company is making the correct menu, because god forbid myra doesn't get her gluten-free, low carb, zero-sugar dinner.

and he has to try his best to ignore the feelings of doubt burning in his stomach. a feeling of... should i be doing this? he's sure it's just normal wedding nerves.

until richie finds him in his dressing room. they begin to chat, and as richie starts to ramble on about their childhood, reminiscing on the "good old days" and talking about how he can't believe they're both grown up now, eddie can smell the alcohol on his breath. he also realizes that this is the first time they have been alone in a while, and eddie finds it almost... awkward. he had spent a majority of his life loving richie, and even more time trying to pretend that he didn't. he wasn't even sure that he had stopped loving richie, just that he had done a very good job at pretending. but he loved myra now, and besides, him and richie never would have worked out.

that is, until richie lets out a laugh that sounds more dejected than joyful, and eddie's heart sinks as richie says, "i can't believe you're actually getting married. you know, i've never told anyone before, but i actually had a crush on you when we were kids."

eddie's frozen. surely richie didn't just say that, he must be hearing things wrong, but he can't muster anything up except a weak "what?"

richie shrugs casually, as if he hadn't just dropped the biggest bombshell of eddie's life and repeats, "yeah, man, we were probably 13, 14. i had a little crush on you. you know, just one of those little kid crushes. it wasn't a big deal. anyways, it's crazy that you're getting married now."

oh, except it was. richie said something more, but eddie wasn't listening, not when richie let out a tipsy laugh or clapped him on the shoulder or when he left the room. all eddie could think about were those words:

i had a crush on you.

from those words, all eddie could hear was he liked me. he liked me back. it wasn't one-sided. i wasn't crazy for thinking maybe he could like me too. but it's too late. it's too late. it's too late.

eddie looks at himself in the mirror. he's wearing the suit he had specifically bought to get married in. he's wearing the tie that myra had picked out for him. he's wearing a boutonniere of the same flower from the bouquet that his soon-to-be wife would be walking down the aisle with.

and all he can think about is richie tozier. all he can think about is how the person he had loved his entire life, had had feelings for him too. and maybe, just maybe, if eddie had acted on his own feelings fifteen years ago, that things could have been different.

the door opens. it's bill, his best man, letting him know that it was time. "you ready?" bill asks. eddie isn't, but he nods.

because it's too late. it's too late.

[kalpeavaris]

MD: Echo Info Post #1 (Character Edition)

So I reblogged this image about wanting to (over) share about OCs... and then I got a mysterious message telling me to speak about my OCs... 👀(*cough* @inkyprince I said I'd tag you hehe *cough*)

So I've decided to just do it, lmao. I love sharing stuff about my OCs, stories and whatnot and this is my blog, imma do what I want!

Gotta lay out some trivia & information about my Murder Drones AU, Echo! Wether it be characters or concepts, because maybe it'll get some people interested :D All of the info is below the cut, and for the first iteration of this I've chosen Kira, aka "ZWEI", for this!

Kira - "ZWEI" - White Witch

A lot of her information can also be viewed on her ToyHouse Profile (logged in user only, sorry!)

Playlist - Pinterest - Voice Claim - Theme Song

Content Warnings: Mentions of self-harm, suicidal thoughts (non-explicit), chronic (terminal) illness (in... robot-terms?)

(older art, but it does the trick lmao)

Kira was one of the Drones that were tested and infected with the Absolute Solver code back in the 3040s and 50s in the Cabin Fever Lab Cathedral with her number being 24.

As a Communication Drone the Solver's abilities affected her in a different way than her fellow Worker Drones, causing the humans to become aware of certain powers that she exhibited which weren't displayed in other Drones.

Her "exorcism" (or, well, patch) was botched as Kira's OS wasn't capable of adapting to the patch version, causing it to corrupt and allow for a vunerability that lead to Echo (a mutated version of the AS) planting it's own code inside of Kira's, which jump-started Echo's influence on Communication Drones.

Kira's Solver is always active - that's why her eye doesn't return to normal and only ever displays the emblem. She overheats extremely easily all the time and is prone to physical pain and tinnitus due to her being unable to block out inbound signals if she picks them up.

This has her health deteriorating quickly over the course of the MD: Echo story, slowly succumbing from it, though she keeps on pushing forward to stop ECHO and it's hosts. She needs actual medication to keep the pain at bay and constantly consumes Oil at a high rate to stop overheating. If her Solver was to deactivate she'd most likely pass away within a few days.

Her secondary name, "ZWEI" means "Two" (or could also be interpreted as "the second") in German. It is a reference to her part in the story, as well as her connection to ECHO. (won't be spoilered for now 8D) She associates alot of trauma with it and doesn't like being referred by it.

Personality wise Kira seems fairly withdrawn from everyone around her except her friends and partner/family. If she's in a good headspace she's fairly open and confident, almost fierce in the way she appears to others. Kira's keen on keeping up a strong facade to not show strangers her weaknesses or true condition.

"But what are Communication Drones?"

I'm glad you asked! Communication Drones look like normal Workers, though the one thing that sets them apart are the two antennas on their head which can vary in size & style depending on their desired function (short-range, long-range, ground signals, air signals etc.)

These antennas function as ears for them, so if they're removed, their hearing is damaged (not entirely deaf, but definitely worsened). So if a "normal" CD loses their antennas they're having a harder time adapting as their intake of sound is greatly reduced.

As an AS user/host, Kira's able to pick up on stronger signals from far away or even sending out signals to stun/manipulate others around her in a short radius. This effect doesn't stay though, it'll wear off over time and actively consume energy from the Drone using it.

Disassembly Drones can also have the subtype of a Communication Drone as shown in the sketch below (left DD) - their antennas are usually shorter and made for short-range and aerial signals as they're capable of flight, too.

(I almost made them a polycule not going to lie they all hot as fuck) wish that was me-)

--

(Kira on her way to cast 'gun, prepare to meet god' in the face of a fucking angel-robot-AI that believes to be god itself)

Kira plays a big part in the MD: Echo universe next to some minor characters & canon characters. Her main motivation is to help stop Echo, as it also tries to infect her via the unstable Solver code in her OS.

--

Crucifix Symbolism

(the power of christ compels you!)

Something very important to Kira is her botched patch / "exorcism". She's obsessed with crucifix looking symbolism which continues to haunt her almost 30 years later during MD: Echo's timeline.

She's desperate to break free from this, but cannot help herself. She compulsively collects cross-shaped imagery and in the first few months after her escape from the Lab she actively built crosses from all sorts of materials.

It's mainly coming from her OS being overwhelmed by the botched patch and the crucifix imagery of the USB burning itself in her memory files as some sort of "salvation" she has yet to achieve. Luckily, this started to fade out over the years, especially after meeting T who helped her to overcome the trauma of the incident.

--

(CW: Mentions of Self-Harm)

After being infected by the Absolute Solver, Kira desperatly tried more than once to remove her antennas to keep the voices from appearing. It talked to her from the inside, but she didn't realize this yet. Like almost all other AS Users however she kept on regenerating, unable to escape the inner turmoil of the Solver's possession and Echo trying to get inside of her OS as well.

--

Effects of the AS on her psyche

(holy shit have you ever seen a centipede that big? what is this? australia?)

Haunted by visions of the Solver, it's communications with the other Drones and later on the landing pods of the Disassembly Drones Kira had a hard time to tune out these visions she got from time to time. Similar to Nori in that regard Kira wrote everything down she heard through these intercepted signals, amassing hundreds of pages of logs she was able to get.

--

Meeting her partner

("Girl I swear I have normal hands too don't be distracted by my sexy claws")

In the 3060s, she stumbled upon one of the Disassembly Drone squads outside of the colony's Outpost she was seeking shelter in. She had intercepted their landing pods signals and was "curious" to seek out whoever had arrived, trying to solve the mystery of whatever the Solver had her experience.

That's when she found Serial Designation T - the navigator of the squad, who at first attempted to kill her like he'd been tasked to do. After all, Kira was a Solver Host that couldn't be fully mind-controlled anymore. But in the middle of him attacking her T's code was halted by Cyn herself, deactivating his executive task to kill the Host he had infront of him. He himself didn't know why exactly the Solver did this, but in hindsight it was due to the fact that Kira was still able to be of use to it later on.

(POV: you deleted system32 from your PC because some random kid on roblox told you to)

Now neutral, T got curious about Kira whom he tried to speak to with her Kira (driven by curiosity on why he had stopped being aggressive all of a sudden, being able to intercept the communication he had with Cyn) staying to talk to him.

Over the following weeks the two grew acustomed with each other, slowly building a friendship that later on evolved into a more romantic nature. Kira hid him in the Outpost and brought in food for the two of them as she constantly needed oil as well.

[cyren-myadd]

Feel free to completely ignore this ask if you want, but you're one of the best ppl posting and still talking about Spider, so I REAllY wanted to hear your opinion on this. Anyway, in your opinion, how would Spider have turned out had be been raised "human"? As in, by the McCoskers or some other human scientist as primary caretaker? Like let's just say the McCoskers or some other scientist aren't total failures in terms of taking care of Spider. And instead of letting him just run around and go neglected they actually take him in and raise him like a normal human kid would be raised (or as close as they could get to "normal" on Pandora)? I imagine he'd probably be a loss less connected to the Na'vi and Ewya, since his caretakers obviously wouldn't be too happy with a human kid running around on a planet where pretty much everything could potentially kill him. Would he even be called "Spider" or use his human name? And how would he react to the RDA and Quaritch coming back? On one hand the scientists aren't the biggest fans of them, so he could still be apprehensive to them. On the other hand many of them still defected when they had the chance (if we go by the comics), so you'd think it reasonable that a Spider who was raised by them would hold some sympathy for the RDA? Idk, human!Spider is just a weird thought that won't leave me.

you're one of the best ppl posting and still talking about Spider,

Awww you're making me blush! I'm glad people are interested in what I have to say!

That's a really interesting question! Let me give you my thoughts on what Spider would be like if he were raised by loving parents (warning, this basically devolves into an outline for a fanfic by the end lol):

first off, he's losing the dreads. I'm not gonna say anything about whether or not white people should have dreadlocks, bc I'm not qualified to touch that subject with a 10 foot pole, but regardless of the race thing, it is painfully obvious that Spider's hair is neglected. Just look at it compared to Jake's dreadlocks. Spider's are all different lengths/thicknesses, they're grown out at the roots, and there's little wisps of loose hair sticking out everywhere. They're really poorly maintained, and no decent parent is gonna let their kid walk around looking like they've never seen a hairbrush. Even though Spider isn't as close with the Na'vi in the AU, he will still be heavily inspired by them, so his hair will be something Like Kiri's except curly and blond of course: shoulder length, decorated with little braids and beads, and messy but still healthy and cared for.

He also wouldn't paint himself blue anymore. If he ever got that idea into his head, his foster parents would immediately shut it down and tell him he's perfect just the way he is, it doesn't matter that he's human. Also, he wouldn't wear a loincloth, but he would probably still show a lot of skin, like cut off shorts and tank top or going shirtless a lot. Kind of like how Norm's avatar dresses. He also still has Omaticaya jewelry gifted to him by his friends.

And speaking of his friends, Spider is still good friends with the Sully kids, he's just not as close, and he doesn't have the weird "stray pet" vibe anymore. Spider hangs out with Kiri and Lo'ak, but only in the afternoons after spending most of the day doing chores and upkeep tasks around Hell's Gate and socializing with the other humans. Neytiri is also much more civil to him in this AU since she doesn't feel like Spider is intruding into her family as much.

I also think Spider's personality would be pretty much the same. He's still the same outgoing, mischievous kid, but some of his interests are different. He still speaks fluent Na'vi and knows how to use a bow and survive in the woods, but he's now more tech savvy from helping his parents keep Hell's Gate running and he also has an interest in gunships. His mother was a pilot, so I imagine human!Spider to want to follow in her footsteps. The humans have a few working gunships as seen in THG and ATWOW, and Spider's greatest dream is to fly one. When he's old enough his foster parents agree to let Ming, a resistance pilot, teach him how to fly and Spider is immediately in love with it. This is way better than playing passenger princess on Kiri's banshee! He even sneaks Kiri and Lo'ak out for joyrides, but none of their parents are thrilled when they get caught ha ha.

As for his name, he still goes by Spider. He got the nickname because he liked climbing when he was little, and that won't change because he has parents now. Plus, the scientists and other humans have reasons to avoid Quaritch's name too, so Spider it is.

Now onto the interesting part: what happens when the RDA comes back?

First off this is going to depend on if Spider's parents choose to defect back to the RDA like the McCoskers or if they choose to stay and fight like Norm and Max.

If Spider's family chose to stay, then the story stay more or less stays the same: Spider goes to goof off with his friends in the forest, gets kidnapped and interrogated, Q steps in and uses him as a translator/guide since he is still knowledgeable about the Na'vi way, and Spider is ultimately rescued by Lo'ak and Neteyam. The only difference is that Spider's parents will be extremely upset and maybe make a few unsuccessful attempts to get him back. I even still think Spider would choose to save Quaritch. He wouldn't have bonded with Q as much since he has a healthy parental relationship to compare him to, but he still might feel obligated to save him since Q saved his ass twice. And then Spider would go back to his foster parents at high camp instead of presumably sticking with the Sullies in Awa'atlu.

BUT ON THE OTHER HAND, what happens if Spider's foster family chose to defect?

This idea gets a little bit more interesting methinks

Cause even if Spider's parents are much nicer than the McCoskers, I could still see why they might choose to defect, especially if they had or adopted other children. TBH before McCosker betrayed Jake, I understood where he was coming from about defecting to the RDA, it's really hard for humans to survive out there, nevermind when there's a war going on and you have younger kids to worry about. So I could totally see Spider's parents choosing to defect for the sake of their family, even if they cared for the Na'vi.

Spider would still be very upset. He's friends with the Na'vi and Norm and Max and all the other loyalist scientists. He doesn't want to be forced to join the organization that's trying to kill them all! But he can't bear to leave his parents, so he eventually gives a teary goodbye to Kiri and Lo'ak and surrenders to the RDA with the other humans.

He gets... a surprisingly warm welcome. He's the son of the "great war hero" Miles Quaritch. Have you ever watched The Boys? You know how when Homelander brings his son, Ryan, to Vought their reaction is to use him for propaganda? Selfridge and co try to do that with Spider. They try to get him to play the part of a brave little boy who survived years of captivity with na'vi terrorists before escaping back to civilization, and the only reason he survived is because the memory of his dear old dad kept him going 🥺🥺🥺. Spider is having none of it of course and speaks very openly about his care for the Na'vi. Spider's foster parents pull him aside and warn him not to speak like that and Spider grudgingly agrees to keep his opinions to himself. All the former defectors are surveilled closely for any sign of being spies.

Spider is absolutely miserable living in bridgehead away from the forest and not knowing if his friends are okay, but bridgehead presents him with a new opportunity: his dream of becoming a pilot is actually possible now. Spider is basically a nepotism baby and takes advantage of it to get into the RDA's pilot program. Yeah, he's young, but they're lightyears away from earth and its pesky child labor laws so who cares.

Older teens can survive cryosleep and some RDA employees bring their children to Bridgehead to participate in training programs like what Spider's doing, so for the first time in his life Spider makes human friends his own age. He learns about the dire state of earth from them, and starts to feel more sympathetic to the humans stuck there. He wonders if there's a way to build sustainable human colonies in the uninhabited areas of Pandora and make peace between humans and na'vi. Spider dreams of climbing the ranks of the RDA and changing the direction of the company towards a future that benefits everyone...

Then a big fat blue wrench gets thrown in his plans: the clone of Miles Quaritch wakes up.

Nobody told Spider a clone with his dads memories is walking around and Quaritch never thinks to ask about what happened to his son, so the two go a week or two without knowing about the other, until they happen to run into each other on the flight line when the recoms go out on their first test run. Spider instantly picks Quaritch out of the group of recoms and realizes who he is. He's horrified, remembering all the stories Jake told him. Quaritch notices a baby-faced pilot staring at him out of the corner of his eye, but thinks nothing of it, assuming the guy is new to Pandora and shocked to see recombinants. Spider wants nothing to do with this Quaritch, so he tries to slink away without Quaritch noticing. Unfortunately, one of Spider's coworkers calls out to him "hey Socorro!" for something. Quaritch hears the name, recognizes it, and does a double take. He takes a closer look at Spider and notices a resemblance to Paz Socorro. Spider is glaring daggers at him, but Quaritch keeps studying and finally notices the name on Spider's uniform, confirming Quaritch's suspicion.

Quaritch awkwardly tries to approach Spider, but Spider is having none of it and runs off.

There's no time to chase spider down, so Quaritch goes on his mission. They encounter the Sully kids, but the kids successfully escape and no one is left behind. Quaritch returns to bridgehead frustrated but excited at the prospect of Jake having four huge weak spots to target. Unbeknownst to them, this prompts Jake and his family to flee to Awa'atlu.

After the mission, Quaritch later tracks down Spider's foster parents to their apartment (or whatever people in Bridgehead live in?) and speaks with the family. While talking to them, Quaritch realizes Spider's parents really care about him, and he decides it's for the best if he stays out of Spider's life. He never wanted to be a dad, and Spider made it clear he's uninterested in him, so Quaritch thanks the foster parents for raising Spider and they go their separate ways.

Spider is perfectly content to pretend the recom doesn't exist until he gets wind of Quaritch's mission: to hunt down and kill Jake Sully.

Spider can't bear the thought of Jake and his family being hunted down by Quaritch, and he realizes he's in a position to do something about it. So Spider cooks up a plan...

Meanwhile, Quaritch is going through the motions, doing his best to pretend he doesn't care he and Spider have gone their separate ways before truly getting to know each other. One day, after hours stuck in briefings with Ardmore and the other higher ups, he comes back to the recom barracks to find Spider just casually hanging out with his soldiers like he belongs there.

Quaritch reacts with what outwardly looks like anger (but he's just lashing out because he's surprised and is still hurting deep down over Spider rejecting him) and asks what the hell the kid is doing here. The recoms explain Spider noticed their braids are very poorly maintained while they were doing PT and offered to teach them how to properly care for their Kurus and keep the hair clean and braided. It turns out, the RDA didn't teach the recoms a lot of stuff about being Na'vi, so Spider ended up giving an impromptu lesson on Na'vi biology and how to care for their new bodies. Spider eagerly offers to hang out and teach the recoms more stuff about being Na'vi but Quaritch gets mad and shoos him away, despite the recoms protesting. They thought Spider was funny, and he's one of the only humans who acts normal around them in their blue bodies. But they can't argue with the boss.

To Quaritch's chagrin, Spider keeps randomly showing up with the recoms. One day he's teaching them Na'vi language, another day he's teaching them about edible plants, etc, etc. The recoms love him, and they indulge Spider's lessons even though Quaritch keeps telling him to stay away. Spider's parents also encourage Spider to stay away from the recoms, because they knew their original human selves and know they're capable of horrible violence even though they seem friendly and funny at first. It doesn't work.

Quaritch eventually snaps and asks Spider what he's trying to do here. Spider panics because he can't let them know this is part of his plan to protect Jake and co, so he blurts out the first thing he can think of. He tells Quaritch he changed his mind about wanting to get to know him, but he didn't know how to say that so he's been using his lessons as an excuse to be around Quaritch more. Quaritch is secretly touched but doesn't show it. He tells Spider he still thinks its better if Spider just sticks with his foster family. But Spider baits Quaritch with the promise of showing them how to tame ikran. The recoms overhear the last part of the conversation and beg Quaritch to let Spider show them how to get banshees. Quaritch reluctantly agrees.

A few days later, they set out for their first time in the jungle, and Spider proves himself invaluable. He's much more knowledgeable than the recoms, and more dependable than searching up info on their data pads. Quaritch realizes keeping Spider around might be a good idea, so after they all tame their banshees, Q offers to make Spider their official translator and guide. Spider enthusiastically agrees.

Over the next couple of months, Spider teaches the recoms how to go "full Na'vi," and really bonds with Quaritch. He even spends the night in the recom barracks a couple of times. Quaritch almost starts to feel like a second dad. Spider's parents try to talk him out of it multiple times, suspecting what he's doing, but Spider is adamant. Against his better judgement, he actually starts to like Quaritch and the recoms, and the "act" he puts on becomes more and more real as time goes on. Spider starts to think he might be able to talk Quaritch out of hunting Jake and work towards a peaceful solution.

Baby boy gets his bubble burst real fast tho :')

Quaritch gets the tip about a rogue gunship flying towards the reef tribes and asks Spider to fly with him as a translator (Spider's parents are not thrilled about this since it means Spider will be away from them for an unknown amount of time, but they have no control over Quaritch). Spider agrees, thinking they're just going to ask the eyktan some questions, nothing more. And it starts that way... but the recoms quickly become more and more aggressive when they realize they're not getting any real answers. Before Spider knows it, they're burning maruis and holding the tsahik at gunpoint. Spider only just barely talks Quaritch out of killing anyone.

After that, Spider and Quaritch have a very ugly fight that ends with Spider furiously yelling through tears and Quaritch coldly telling Spider getting to know each other was a mistake. Quaritch tells him his job as a translator is over and tomorrow he'll fly him back to Bridgehead to stay with his parents and they will never work with each other again (Quaritch immediately regrets this, he wants spider to stay with him, but he refuses to take back his words).

Spider is so distraught by everything that he videocalls his parents that night in his room aboard the Sea Dragon. His parents comfort Spider and tell him this is for the best. Now Spider can focus on becoming a pilot and having a bright future with the RDA

But the bubble is burst and Spider can't turn back. He knows now that peace between Na'vi and humans is impossible as long as the RDA is around. He also learns about the tulkun-hunting for amrita around this time, further cementing his belief. He doesn't want a future with the RDA. He wants to join the resistance.

Spider can't speak openly because they suspect the RDA spies on their video calls, but after some time to think on it he calls his parents again and tells them he's changed his mind and wants to stay with Quaritch. His parents know damn well Spider is not onboard with the recom's mission and they suspect he has a plan to interfere with the recoms mission. They immediately try to shut Spider down and tell him to just come back home. They remind him how things have been better, how they're slowly being allowed privileges and better pay, and how Spider can fulfill his dream of being a pilot like Paz.

But Spider knows in his heart he has to do the right thing, even if it risks himself and his parents. He ends up having a fight with them. His dad threatens to tip off ardmore but spider knows he won't actually do it since it would put Spider's life in danger. His mom starts crying and begs him not to do something stupid. It breaks his heart, but spider can't ignore the injustice of the rda. He can't fall in line and pretend he doesn't know about the war crimes and violence. Spider furiously calls them both cowards and hangs up on them. He feels like absolute shit, he's lost his connection with 3 of his parental figures in one day, but he won't change his mind.

The next day he approaches wainfleet, the recom who's the most indulgent with him, and apologizes for freaking out yesterday. He says he talked about what happened with his parents, and now he understands that the recoms have no choice but to be harsh on the natives. Jake is a dangerous terrorist threatening the safety of humanity, and anything is justifiable for the safety of humanity.

Wainfleet and the other recoms are ready to welcome Spider back with open arms. They miss their little mascot and the RDA translators suck compared to him. But Quaritch isn't as easily fooled by Spider's act. Quaritch grills Spider more about his sudden change of heart, and Spider scrambles for something to convince him. He ends up saying that he doesn't want to go back to bridgehead and never see him again. Even though he doesn't agree with his methods, he's still his dad and he wants to be near him. (Spider tells himself he's lying but that's not true) (Quaritch tells himself he doesn't care but it's also not true). Quaritch begrudgingly lets Spider have a second chance, claiming its only because the RDA translators suck.

It kills Spider inside, but he plays along as translator, doing as Quaritch asks. He can't stand to see the villagers suffer, but by cooperating, Quaritch is more likely to listen to him, so he's able to talk Q out of killing/maiming anyone at the bare minimum. Quaritch is secretly thrilled to have Spider back and cooperating, but it's not the same. Spider cooperates, but the real connection they had before is gone. Spider is a physically affectionate kid and a jokester, but that's gone now. He no longer reaches out to grab onto Quaritch when he's close by or tease him like he used to. Quaritch misses it, but he thinks it will come back with time.

By cooperating, Spider builds up trust with Q and the Sea Dragon crew and he starts performing espionage. Since he grew up in Hell's Gate working with the other humans, he is much more knowledgeable about machines and how to damage them without it being obvious he did it. He starts with small things, like sabotaging some of the guns on a whaling submarine, but constantly keeps his eyes open for new ways to undermine the RDA. His master plan is to completely cripple the engine of the Sea Dragon, at which point he'll steal a small boat and slip away in the night. If he pulls it off correctly, no one will even realize he's gone until the next morning, at which point he'll be long gone. He hopes he'll be able to find a Na'vi village and convince them he's on their side so they'll take him to Jake. Spider "borrows" a distracted crew members laptop by learning their password and secretly downloads important RDA intel onto a USB (or whatever they use in the future to store data) and plans to give it to Jake after he makes his daring escape.

Spider doesn't call his parents throughout this time, still angry that they're content to live under the RDA's rule. Then it sinks in on him that he may never see them again whether his plan succeeds (cause he won't have a way to contact them from the resistance) or fails (cause he'll probably be executed on the spot). After a week or so, Spider is almost ready to cripple the engine, steal the data, and escape. The night before he enacts the final stage of his plan, he tries to call his parents one last time but chickens out at the last second. Instead, he records a video telling them he loves them and he's sorry and sends it. Immediately, his parents try to call him, but Spider shuts his tablet off. He exits his cabin and takes a deep breath. It's time to enact his plan.

Immediately, a lanky blue wrench gets thrown in the plan

As Spider makes his way across the upper deck, waiting for an opportunity to sneak down into the engine room, he sees Quaritch and Cupcake flying back with a net dangling from her claws. Inside the net is Lo'ak and a reef na'vi. The plan he spent weeks carefully constructing has gone out the window and Spider is in a full blown panic.

As Lo'ak and the reef girl are thrown on the deck, Spider runs through all the soldiers and goes straight to his friend, asking if he's okay... only to get punched in the gut. Spider folds like a lawn chair from the Na'vi sized punch and collapses on the deck. For a moment he thinks his mask is broken because he can't breathe, but it's just the wind knocked out of him. Even in his pain, he can tell Lo'ak held back his full strength with the punch. Lo'ak screams at him, with tears streaming down his face and Quaritch grabs him before he can do anything to Spider again. Lo'ak cries and accuses Spider of betraying them. Spider realizes rumors of his cooperation as Quaritch's translator must've gone around and now the Sullies think he's on Quaritch's side. Spider tries to soothe Lo'ak, but there's nothing he can say in front of Quaritch. Quaritch drags Lo'ak and the girl downstairs and locks them up in a storage room. He later comes back and comforts a distraught Spider, not realizing Spider is upset because he doesn't know how to rescue Lo'ak, not because Spider was scared by his former friend jumping him.

Spider decides to try and cripple the engine and free Lo'ak and the reef girl on the way out. He sneaks down to the engine room, he starts his sabotage, but he gets caught by some RDA employees. They run over to stop him and Spider thinks he's done for, when all of a sudden BOOM! Something huge hits the ship! Spider gets completely knocked off his feet and he accidentally starts a fire in the engine room, which is extremely dangerous since it could cause a big explosion. There's no more time for being sneaky, now he has to haul ass and pray he can get Lo'ak and himself out in time.

When he runs back topside, he finds chaos. Reef Na'vi on flying fish are attacking left and right, and there is also a tulkun fighting??? Now Spider knows what knocked the ship but he doesn't know why this tulkun isn't a pacifist like the others. He doesn't know where Quaritch is and he doesn't have time to wonder.

Spider runs down and finds Lo'ak and the girl guarded by two soldiers. He surprises them with a fire extinguisher attack and frees them. Thankfully it doesn't take Lo'ak long to be convinced Spider is on his side since he just gave two soldiers potentially deadly brain damage.

They run for their lives. Spider tries to lead them to the boat he planned to sneak out on that night, but they run into Wainfleet and some recoms, who start chasing them and they're forced to double back. They end up jumping into the moon pool to escape.

The water is even more chaotic than the air: there's submarines, ilu, tsurak, and the rogue tulkun fighting in every direction. The reef girl calls for an ilu and the three of them cling for dear life as they're guided through the underwater battle. They barely make it away from the sea dragon before the engine blows and the giant ship starts to sink, only adding to the chaos.

A submarine spots them and comes after them. It shoots a balloon thing into the ilu and the kids get scattered. They're separated from the reef girl, but Lo'ak and Spider manage to hide in the seaweed long enough to make it to a small rocky island near the battle.

As they're frantically trying to figure out what to do next, a banshee flies over out of nowhere and they realize it's Quaritch. Quaritch heard what Spider did to the ship and realizes Spider's been playing them this whole time. He's furious. Spider has never seen Quaritch look at him like that and he's terrified. The boys try to fight back but Quaritch overpowers them both and cuffs them, handling them very roughly.

Lo'ak tries to talk bravely and warns Quaritch that the Na'vi will overwhelm the humans and kill them all, so he should go ahead and run. Sure enough, when they look at the battle, the Na'vi appear to be winning. But then, In the distance, they see a small gunship rapidly approaching. Quaritch laughs and points at it, telling Lo'ak the reinforcements are arriving and they'll easily overwhelm the Na'vi. Quaritch flags down the gunship and gets ready to the load the boys onto it.

As the gunship lands, Spider thinks his fate is sealed: Lo'ak will be used as a hostage to kill jake and neytiri, and Spider himself will likely be executed. He regrets not picking up the phone when his parents called. Spider doubts Ardmore would let him see them again before he's killed, so the last time he ever saw his parents was when he was fighting them and calling them cowards. He looks at the pilot and recognizes one of his friends from when he was training to be a pilot. It strikes him as odd that his friend was trusted with such an important mission. But he doesn't have much time to think about it because Quaritch harshly grabs Spider by the collar of his shirt and curses at him for betraying him. He says some pretty nasty things to Spider, about how he's a worthless traitor and shouldn't have been born (things he doesn't mean, he's lashing out because he's genuinely hurting that Spider's attempts to bond with him were all an act to get his trust, and this man does not know how to process his emotions other than being hateful). He tells Spider "you're sure as hell no son of mine"

The door to the gunship swings open, and a voice calls out "you're right, he is no son of yours."

Quaritch looks back at the ship in time to see Spider's parents climb out, armed with guns. Spider's mother fires off a warning shot and Quaritch drops Spider and backs away. Spider's father shoots Quaritch in the shoulder and Quaritch dives off the island and disappears into the sea. It's unclear if the wound was fatal or not.

Spider's parents run to their son and tearfully embrace him. They explain that when Spider called them cowards, deep down, they knew he was right. They started subtly making a plan to escape the RDA with other closeted Na'vi sympathizers, but when Spider sent his final video message, they knew they had to act. They gathered everyone and stole a gunship and made it there as fast as they could. Spider breaks down sobbing tears of relief. He thought he would die before he would get to tell his parents he loved them again.

Jake, Neytiri, and the rest of the Sully family find them on the rock as the fighting dies down. The Sullies, Spider, and ragtag group of RDA-defectors retreat to Awa'atlu before the real reinforcements show up. They have a big celebration and the Sullies vouch for Spider and help him explain he only acted as Quaritch's translator to prevent bloodshed and to build up trust to destroy the Sea Dragon. Spider's dad apologizes to Jake for choosing to defect to the RDA, knowing how they hurt the Na'vi. Jake waves off his apology and admits he himself has made some selfish decisions in the interest of protecting his family. Jake says he's done running and is ready to fight the RDA again. The Metkayina are a little skeptical of the new humans at first, but after hearing Tsireya's POV, they decide to allow them to stay. Tonowari and Ronal also agree to join the resistance after witnessing the brutality of the tulkun hunts and having their daughter kidnapped. Spider shares his USBs of stolen intel and it proves extremely helpful in taking down the RDA.

Lo'ak, Kiri, and Spider spend all night talking, overjoyed to be reunited again. In the morning they promise to show Spider all the amazing things in Awa'atlu. They also offer to let Spider sleep in their marui, but Spider declines. His parents brought inflatable atmo-pods for the human defectors to sleep in so they can remove their masks. Spider finds the one his parents are in.

Spider hasn't slept with his parents since he was a little kid, but that night he sleeps curled up with them. A small little family, united by their determination to stand up for whats right 💙

Kudos to you if you made it to the end ha ha. I started writing and I just couldn't stop!

[candyskiez]

I had a je au concept and it is now your problem:

Jon and Martin end up somewhere else, except Jonahs ghost comes with them. The current au I'm playing around with is Jonahs specifically bound to Jon, since he's the one who killed him. Something something maybe they're bound by the fact they were killed by the sake weapon something something Jon being the archivist meant he could either survive what anyone else couldn't, or means he could permanently kill someone who otherwise couldn't be. Whichever you prefer. I'll work on it. Jon obviously is having a really bad time being haunted by the guy who apocalypse'd him, Martin's not very happy about his evil ex boss haunting him when he's trying really hard to never think about any of that shit again and he already has enough going on Jesus fucking christ how did everything go this wrong, both of them are honestly having a really shit time. Jonah isn't exactly thrilled about still being dead. Being a ghost is only slightly better. All three of them are having a honestly not fun time. Get in loser you WILL be confronting your complicated feelings about the man who ruined your life and the man who understood you better than anyone else and how they are the same person, and how you don't regret killing him but you feel so empty and raw after everything and you don't even know what you're feeling. You're not grieving him but what else is this. You killed a man and it didn't even save everyone. You killed a man and you don't regret it but there's still something there and you don't know what the hell it IS. And that's just talking about jons feelings on it. Martin and Jonah I could write an essay about.

Here's some snippets of shit I imagined under the cut. In script for my sanity

Jon: Glad to see you're not hoarding some poor souls body anymore, at least.

Jonah: Well, I suppose we're both happy about that one then.

Jon: Huh. Wasn't expecting that one.

Jonah: It has been a very long time. I'm not completely heartless.

Jon: Well, forgive me if I find that hard to believe.

[He takes a drag of his cigarette.]

Jonah: I thought you'd quit.

Jon: I had bigger problems to worry about than my lungs. I'm sure you know about them.

Jonah: Really, Jon, I know you're...different now-

Jon: [laughs bitterly]

Jonah: But that still can't be good for you, can it?

Jon: Don't you Know?

Jonah: I'm dead, Jon. What do you think?

Jon: Oh. Wow. This must be torture for you.

Jonah: You know I can see you smiling, right?

Jon: I wasn't trying to hide it.

Jon: I've got to tell Martin that. Might be nice for him to know.

Jonah: How much do you Know, then? Did you just waltz in, still fully connected to the fears, and hope for the best?

Jon goes very, very quiet.

Jonah: Ah.

Jon coughs.

Jonah: I told you you should try to quit.

Jon: Fuck you.

-

I can't write anything for it because my brain wants me to explode. But I offer you Jon refusing to do any scheduling just to spite Jonah. "Oh yes, just tell Martin he has to do all the paperwork because you have a grudge." "You're underestimating how far he's willing to go to spite you." Alternatively if you like Jon going a little downhill, Jonah informing him how to do various paperwork. Jon getting increasingly irritated when his advice is actually helpful.

-

Jonah: You say all that, but I see how you look at him.

Jon: At who?

Jonah: Martin. You're scared of him, aren't you?

Jon: What? No! Of course not. I trust him.

Jonah: Do you? Maybe you don't fear him, but he did kill you. He did go against you.

Jonah: You haven't forgotten that. Even if you like to admit it.

Jon: Martin was trying to save people, he was trying to do what he thought was right.

Jonah: You don't, then?

Jon: I am not talking about this with *you.*

Jonah: Are you going to have it with him then? Be my guest.

Jon grits his teeth.

Jonah: Do you regret it? Bringing all the fears here?

Jon: Martin's alive.

Jonah: That's not what I asked.

Jon: And I'm not going to- how many times do I need to say it? Whatever you're doing- wasn't it enough? You broke the world, Jonah! You broke me with it! What else do you want?

Jonah: To know you.

Jon: What?

Jonah: I don't know anything in your mind right now, and you're the only one I can talk to. You already interested me before I died. I figure nows as good of a time as any. It's not like I can come back to life. There's not much else to do.

Jon: ...

Jon, very tired: God, you need a hobby.

Jonah: That isn't really an option though, is it?

Jon: No. It's not.

-

Jon: I don't understand how you can live with yourself.

Jonah: This again? Really, Jon?

Jon: Don't "really" me.

Jonah: You are remarkably easy to read, even without the Watcher. You know that, right?

Jon: Well then, good for you.

Jonah: You're proving my point.

Jon: I'm not doing anything.

Jonah: You want to know. You've seen how much I know about other people, and you're curious what I'd say to you. You're curious about how well I know you. And if you don't hear what I think this is, you'll be thinking about it for months, if not longer.

Jon: I'm not going to ask. I'm not an idiot.

Jonah: You will though, won't you?

Jon: You never answered my question.

Jonah, fondly: You haven't changed at all.

Jon: No. I haven't. Now answer me.

Jonah: There's nothing to tell. I wanted to survive more than I was guilty. I did quite enjoy not dying, you know. Guilt doesn't stop everyone. You should know that.

Jon makes a frustrated noise.

Jonah: And it fades.

Jon: No. You're not telling me everything.

Jonah: What, are you going to try and compell it out of me? Really?

Jon: Maybe I will.

Jonah: Would that even work?

Jon: Would you like to find out? It's not like either of us have anything to lose.

Jonah looks surprised. Then he smiles. He looks almost proud.

Jonah: No. We don't.

(He says it like Jons finally realized something very, very important.)

[spookitordukeit]

Okay okay, so I've been thinking more on this post, and I've got more ideas!!

I think that the Freddy Fazbear brand would've been forced to shut down not long after the events of Security Breach, whether from the horrible publicity, or lack of funds, I'm not sure.

Faz Co would have definitely had to lay low for a while. Collect what assets they could, scrounge up what ever money they had left, and hide in the shadows for a bit. long enough for people to forget about what happened, or at least, mostly forget. A couple generations, at least.

Not that they just spent all that time twiddling their thumbs, no no. Faz Co got to work.

They got their hands into any AI or robot manufacturer brand they could, starting from shares and working their way up. Quietly buying out any and all big brands.

They save a hell of a lot of money by not having any physical establishments open, especially now that they aren’t having to constantly pay out lawsuits.

It gives them the time and the resources to grow, and this time? They’re going big. Bigger then ever before.

As for time period, I’m thinking far futuristic. Space travel and sentient AI, starships and space stations.

And Zaff Co, is located in the biggest hotspot in the Milky Way, not too far from earth. Not only that, but Zaff Co is also the biggest and most successful high-tech supergiant in the galaxy. They have their hands in everything from AI to housing to travel to food. You can’t go anywhere without seeing Zaff Co on the label.

Where the story takes place is in their central space station, smack dab in the center of the Milky Way. Zaff Co Megastation

It’s the size of a small planet, and has everything from housing hubs to super markets. And of course, their main money maker, Zaff Co Entertainment Center. The one and only.

Being the only establishment like it, it draws a lot of attention. People come far and wide to interact with their one of a kind, specialized animatronics and attractions. Its not that they can only afford to have one megacenter, oh no, it's tactical. Having only one makes people more willing to spend, spend, spend.

Its like Disney on steroids. Except Zaff co owns the flyways, the fueling stations, the housing hubs, the stores, restaurants, parks- almost everything is owned by Zaff co. They profit from everything.

They're in control of the flow of currency, Zaff coins. And of course, those who control the money, control the flow of information. They are number one, the top dogs, and they won't fall from grace again.

They spent decades erasing every bit of their history, forming themselves into a new brand. Freddy Fazbears no longer exists, never did. Any older Faz coins are misprints! Bring them in an receive free admission for life! As long as you sign these papers and never tell a soul :)

Okay- now for the animatronics! I've babbled about the company long enough.

First off, I love @loreleilarai's idea of Freddy being based of of Ursa Major! Absolute genius! And to expand on that, Helpy could be based off of Ursa Minor. The both of them would have a color scheme close to/a mix of glamrock Freddy, or funtime Freddy. Bright colors, whites, and bold markings. (also love the shooting stars bit)

Bonnie would, of course, be based off of the lunar rabbit/jade rabbit. Either white, light green, or a mix of both. Obviously with his signature red eyes. Maybe with a crescent moon motif???

I'm not sure what Chica would look like- all I can find on chickens and space is the running chicken nebula?? I love glamrock Chica, so her design would be largely based off of her I think? But more reds, pinks, and a pop of blue.

I'm also not sure if Foxy, Roxy, or Monty would be in this au, as I'm not sure what to do with their designs.

I do, however, have an Idea for DJMM. He'd be a galaxy spider, and the keeper of the 'cosmic web'. A large animatronic connected to all of the severs of the Megastation, watching over everything from bugs, maintenance, and repairs. He'd be less sentient then the other animatronics, functioning as a large scale antivirus/firewall and repair super computer. At least for now.

And of course there's Sun and Moon, the stars, of the show. I think they'd be largely unchanged, as they weren't very prevalent in their previous locations, other then a few complaints about Moon. It's easy for them to take the spotlight, especially once the two are separated into different bodies.

They have a myriad of jobs. Including security, where they combine and roam as Eclipse. Do I know what any of those jobs are yet? No- but gimme some slack, this AU is only three days old o(TヘTo)

I also have thoughts about making a few new animatronics, based off planets. Pluto, Mars, Venus, Earth, Neptune, Saturn, Mercury, Jupiter and Uranus. But I'm nut sure what purpose they would serve? and then maybe it'd be too cluttered with characters- Unless I use the original gang? As an example, Freddy as Saturn, Bonnie as Neptune, Foxy as Mars... ect.

I don't know, Its still a new AU concept and I've rambled long enough for now! lemme know if you have any thoughts or suggestions!! ^^