#they’re traumatized your honor

[this-isajokerjoke]

slytherin friends headcanons

slytherin friends (blaise zabini, theodore nott, tracey davis, millicent bulstrode)

tracey is the only non-pure blood in the group, she’s a halfblood

her dad was a muggleborn while her mother was a halfblood

millicent’s family was neutral in the war

blaise’s family is from italy, and didn’t care much about british politics and their war

theodore’s family was full of pure blood supremacists and death eaters

but theo hated his father, and his mother was dead

so instead of believing what he was raised to believe, theo rebelled against it all

blaise is non-binary and uses he/they pronouns

theo is tall and lanky, and is a total book worn

millicent will beat a bitch up if they talk smack about one of the friends

tracey explaining muggle things to her friends

theo not caring about his schoolwork, instead focusing on things like ancient runes and warding spells

 millicent and blaise dragging theo to quidditch games

chaser blaise and beater millicent

“millie”

“trace” “cici”

“dora” (theo hates it and blaise thinks it’s really funny)

theo sobbing to his friends about voldemort’s return

his friends refusing to leave even when he begs them to go out of the country

blaise having trouble understanding love because his mother uses men for their money and kills them

millicent struggling with self image

tracey getting migraines

blaise wearing eyeliner

blaise gets so many bitches. guys, girls, enbys

theo has a massive crush on blaise

blaise is an idiot though, and doesn’t realize until 5th year

millicent’s cat is everyone’s cat and very spoiled

so much cat fur

when theo’s father tries to make him join the death eaters, he runs away (he refuses to tell them where he got the injuries he came to them with from)

millicent dies in the war, tracey loses her right arm, blaise goes partially deaf, and theo goes mute

the remaining three move away from britain

they learn sign language and room together for years until blaise finally suggests therapy

theo doesn’t speak much, but after several years of therapy, he can finally talk to blaise and tracey sometimes

millicent’s cat stays with them

tracey learns how to use her wand with her non dominant hand, but she knows it’ll never be the same

blaise never gets their hearing back, and hates not knowing what’s around them

they sleep with a light on and a knife under their pillow

eventually, tracey moves out to go to college

blaise and theo get married a few years later

they’re traumatized, but they all love each other, even when they grow apart

they each get a tattoo of millicent’s birth day

[arsoniiii]

you’re my everything 💕💕

[starchaserfanatic]

The fact that I know 100%, without a doubt, that James Potter would have loved Regulus more than anyone has loved anything or anyone is insane. It’s written into the very fibers of his being to show love and you just know he would have give everything, anything for Regulus.

James would have loved him with every cell in his being that he could, and the way I just know is immeasurable to me.

Anyway I’ve suffered trauma, and will never be the same.

[lulurhythm]

This was the first fan piece made by @speaching for “Why So Serious”. (A story by Lulu_Rythmea & @huntressundone on AO3.) Jason isn’t quite sure what’s going on anymore. Tim needs help.

I know this was done a year ago, but I’m still blown away by the level of detail. Bravo.

[salt8468]

Does anyone know what’s a good source to research sirens please and thank youuuuu 🫶🫶🫶🫶

[yuttikkele]

I uhhhhh think the next art joke should be “making your OCs happy and fulfilled” instead of “my only job as a creator is to traumatize my OCs because they’re boring without it”

[tornado1992]

“It’s not that deep”

“It’s still water”

“You shower almost every day”

“Not in a deep body of water”

“C’mon it doesn’t even reach my chest, you’ll be fine”

Ignoring the muffled snickers of the pink hedgehog and mighty echidna near them became harder by the minute. Apparently it wasn’t enough trying to get him in the lake, they had to mock him about it too, some friends he had. This was supposed to be a picnic, not a swimming lesson, and he must admit it, he wouldn’t even have come this close to the water in any other circumstances, but his brother rarely had the opportunity to actually act like a kid, and seeing him getting ready in all his swimming gear and even putting on some cute orange floaties so he could help Sonic was just too much to deny. His heart dragged him to the edge of the lake before his mind could even think of protesting.

He could still make them feel bad though.

“You guys are so cruel, forcing an innocent hedgehog to wash out his chili dog perfume in some random lake in the wild”

“At least you should learn how to move under the surface, it could be a useful skill for underwater missions!”

“You wound me brother, I could have a repressed trauma with drowning for all you know! and you still want me to go down there?”

It was an obvious lie, and Sonic knew his brother was aware of it, his aberration for water being more of a personal instinct than a developed “fear” if he could call it that way, he just didn’t like water that way, no other reason.

He was already expecting some mocking comeback from the little fox, preparing his own response ready to dramatically guilt trip him in a very over acting way, that was his style, even if his brother wasn’t as keen to exaggerate as him, he knew his comeback would do the trick.

“Hey, people tried to drown me when I was a baby at least four times and I can swim perfectly! No excuses!”

The hedgehog heard the fruit Knuckles was holding hitting the ground at the same time he saw how Amy froze dead on her feet. He could hear his own heartbeat at the somber silence. Nature itself becoming almost muted with that single phrase.

It was so sudden. So quick. He said it so naturally, like he was talking about how he doesn’t like the current weather, or telling them about a new candy brand he purchased, like it was just the mundane, natural answer to the conversation. He was supposed to answer with a light hearted joke, perhaps mocking Sonic again, maybe just dragging him into the water instead of giving a verbal answer, but he said that instead. It was sick and twisted, and it had to be a joke, maybe Tails spent too much time with Eggman, maybe he was developing some dark and gruesome sense of humor, it had to be it, right?

“what?”

“Oh, I haven’t told you? some people tried to drown me a few times when I was little, I actually learned how to swim because I tried to scape from them through the water”

He could almost hear the buzzing from the portable grill they brought to cook their meal, he felt how both Amy’s and Knuckles’s sight locked on them, horrified eyes, locked open jaws, and clenched fists. he could feel how they were holding their breath almost instinctively, he knew he was holding his own, because Tails just said that.

If anyone else had make that comment it would’ve passed as just a dark unfunny joke, a notorious lie in an awkward try to keep up with the mood.

But this was Tails.

Tails who didn’t even know that food was supposed to be warm till Sonic bought him his first chili dog. Tails who thought getting a bleeding nose and broken bones was the natural consequence for trying shelter himself from the rain in some family’s dumpster. Tails who started crying the first time Sonic hugged him because “mutant freaks don’t deserve to be held”.

He looked at him with dead serious eyes, his big brother face full on, almost a disappointed expression on his face, with a hint of confusion.

He kept looking at him for a full five seconds.

To let him know that it wasn’t funny, to make sure he knew it was wrong to say those things and scare them like that, and to give him a second chance to talk and just tell them he was joking.

An equally confused sight greeted him from baby blue eyes, the most innocent voice making an appearance not a second later.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

What if there's a bunch of things that happened to Tails when he was a baby that he hasn't even told Sonic about, injuries that he's gotten that only he himself knows about, near death experiences that he went through as a toddler that he's never mentioned because he doesn't want anyone to waste their time worrying about him and he also might be ashamed because he doesn't want them to think he's weak, plus he also might not even realise how horrible the things that happened to him are because they're all he knew from a young age

But one time he casually mentions one of them by accident without even realising what he's said and then looks around at everyone in the room, confused as to why they look so horrified

[astrobydalia]

🪐 Astro Observations!!!✨

Happy 2024 babes! Here’s to another year sharing astrology stuff with all of you 🤩

work by astrobydalia

Yes water moons have great intuition and could be psychic but I very often notice they tend to allow their personal feelings interfere with their decisions and could tend to not follow their intuition as much. The ones that have a more reliable or unbiased intuition imo are Earth moons and Aquarius moon.

Scorpio Venus really do gravitate to unhealthy relationships… All their connections tend to have unfair or imbalanced dynamics to them where there’s no equal give and take. They believe love means throwing yourself and your life away for another person (or they expect someone to give everything away for them) with little to nothing in return. They may not understand the difference between deep intimacy and unhealthy attachment

Libra placements and their ability to appear likable even when they have the shittiest personality deep down

In my opinion Moon is the most important planet if you really wanna begin to know someone at their core. Ultimately no planet can give you full info without the context of the whole chart tho (#AllPlanetsMatter), but you can really uncarcarve sm about someone just by moon placement/aspects/degree, etc. Moon rules your needs and so it really cements your personality and its an energy that you'll project in so many areas of your life (relationships, career, etc)

Fixed Mars are ARGUMENTATIVE fr fr. They need to have the last word and will die on that hill if they have to💀Honorable mention: Virgo/Gemini Mars due to Mercury influence but they’re more about friendly banter and aren’t as stubborn

80% of Aries Moons I've met were very philosophical/spiritual/religious. They can develop a self-awareness that gives them a lot of wisdom. The other 20% were just adult toddlers and very egotistic...

Capricorn placements and their internalized elitism. They really do believe some people are better than others which is the shadow of Capricorn unfortunately

Aquarius Moons are some of the most traumatized people I know fr fr. Whenever I get to know their life and backstory Im always like bro….😶😶 It makes me so sad cause they always bring such good vibes everywhere (they have a playful aura) when in reality there’s a depth of pain underneath you wouldn’t even fathom through that unbothered persona. The OG misunderstood.

We all know Scorpio is all about depth, intensity and looking beyond the surface but I’ve very often observed the exact opposite in scorpio placements. They could tend to be very superficial, greedy and materialistic, more obsessed with wealth and status than any earth placement (it all comes down to power). In such cases their interest in occult or deep topics could also be superficial or opportunistic, like they only see it as something that could give them a leg up in life or help them avoid unseen threats but that's about it.

Cancer Risings do not come across as sensitive at all. They tend to have a rather sassy personality and are pretty defensive 90% of the time tbh. Think about it, are crabs 🦀 cute and cuddly? No, you actually actually have to be very careful around one cause they sting lol. They do wear their heart on their sleeves and are very sensitive and perceptive but because of this they constantly feel like their vulnerability is out for everyone to see hence the guarded attitude.

^I've also noticed they are VERY opinionated and will hold on very tightly to how they think/feel about something. This results in having a reputation for being kinda bold and sharp (Aries 10th). Pro tip: do NOT question these native's morals or integrity unless you wanna see a very snappy side to them, they respond very very very badly if you even insinuate that they might be hypocritical in their values/what matters to them

The interpretation that Aquarius in the 4th house means you’re an outcasted black sheep in the family low-key doesn’t make sense to me tbh. Aquarius is the sign of camaraderie, friendship, inclusivity and community. All the people that I’ve seen with this placement were actually very bonded to their roots and considered their family (and the people they bonded with during childhood) to be "their people" (they also keep their friends close to heart). These natives do tend to distinct themselves as they grow up but this is due to Leo 10th house. I've noticed their family is in general very supportive of them or at the very least they received some input in their upbringing that made them feel special and/or like their uniqueness was celebrated. Feel free to share your opinion/experience tho

I've noticed Virgo Mars people have a perfect balance between being confident in themselves and fulling trusting their abilities while also staying humble and acknowledge room for improvement. Very mature and self-accountable and they're also great people to work with cause they are highly appreciative of good contribution

Sagittarius placements and their ability to be casually rude in a charming way??? 😭

Moon in the 10th house do not have a reputation for being emotional at all, it's quite the opposite they dislike exposing their feelings like that. A lot of their energy is spent trying to appear put-together and emotionally stable. The ones I've noticed have a reputation for being moody or sensitive are Mars in the 10th house

Venus-Moon aspects probably grew up in an environment that fed up this idea they had to be beautiful and conventionally likable in order to be worthy of love. These natives tend to base their self-worth on the amount of emotional validation they get from others and struggle telling the difference between kindness and love

A couple notes on everyone’s fave topic: 8th house synastry

We all know this overlay deals with power dynamics. On a general basis I’ve noticed it’s the planet person who tends to have the upper hand. Exeption: Moon. When your moon falls in someone’s 8th house you tend to be vulnerable one due to the soft nature of this planet, but the house person secretly feels more intimidated

You will NAWT be able to keep secrets from someone you have 8th house synastry with specially if you’re the house person. Sooner or later they’ll see through you, circumstances might force you to expose yourself or you’ll simply feel drawn to revealing the truth to them. With water synastry in general you will feel drawn to share more deep or hidden parts of yourself/your life but with the 8th house you can’t help it, like there’s almost an accusatory tension between the two that grows the more you try to hide something from them

Something I see no one mentioning about 8th house synastry is the planet person always feels intimidated by the house person's success. The planet person will try to take part in the house person's success by taking some credit and have a sense of control over what belongs to the house person, it's giving Kanye's "I made that bitch famous". At best the planet person would want to help boost the house person's endeavors. Either way, when someone's planets land on your 8th house, you will never feel like something is completely yours anymore, somehow the planet person will "take" something away from you that you can't get back making you feel like you owe them or they owe you something big (8th house=debt), which is why this overlay very often goes south and tends to be very depleting.

If we're talking business (which 8th house deals with that) the house person is likely to take a risk on the planet person, invest on them (can be money, time, resources, trust, etc) in hopes that it'll pay off. The house person is most likely to loose something from their involvement with the planet person, but they can also gain a lot from the planet person if the investment pays off. In either case, one could tend to exploit the other if there’s any ill intent from the individual

Water mars people are very smothering in their affection tbh. Once you’ve been chosen, get ready to be bombarded by their attention a bit more each time. Secret stalker vibes.This doesn’t always mean they love you tho, if underdeveloped they may want to “bond” in order to have emotional control over you and use you. For them it’s easy to get what they want through manipulation so leading people on or fooling around is something they tend to do a lot

Going back to the affection topic, water venus are smothering too but they go about their obsession devotion in a much more soft and non-domineering way where they give a lot of power away to their partner

People with Gemini+Scorpio placements in their chart embody the mischievous trickster archetype fr fr. They’re funny but also a menace. Have an ease to become that type of deceitful manipulator who thrives in chaos

I have a theory that your Moon represents the kind of bond or relationship you have with your mother but Ceres represents how your mother actually is

Capricorn and Scorpio placements are huge tsunderes imo 😭

Chiron in Sagittarius/9th house have become disappointed with religious and/or academic institutions. For them both systems are essentially flawed and don't work or don't make sense

+When it comes to religion I've seen a lot of them being atheist and skeptics. Some others still believed in god/universe/etc. but they did not want to support any stablished religious institution and instead have preferred to craft their own belief system. In both cases, they saw the institutionalization of believe systems as something that hindered their freedom of thought and expansion

+When it comes to academics a very similar thing happens. They felt like collage and the educational system restricted their mind instead of expanding it so they just preferred to walk their own path and find growth elsewhere. A friend of mine with this placement quit collage and the other people I've seen who did finish it all said they had a kinda dreadful and/or unfulfilling collage experience which they low-key regret

If you’ve ever felt powerless in the house where you have your pluto, that’s because you gave your power away to the opposite house. For example, if you have Pluto in the 5th house and you felt powerless when it comes to expression, your creativity, etc that’s because you gave too much power to the public opinion/peer pressure (11th house) and what they may say about you if you express yourself genuinely

Scorpio Moons always battle with that "am I a good person?", "am I a monster deep down?" inner conflict. They are more in touch with darker emotions and experiences than the average person so for them it's particularly easy to channel their shadow. This can often make them doubt their own integrity or think they are doomed to never feel happiness and inner peace. This is moon's debilitation for a reason, their inner emotional world is ruled by chaos and turmoil and they tend to be a bit too comfortable (moon) in toxicity and drama, nothing is ever light-hearted for them. If developed this ability of staying in touch with the shadow side of things can actually give them lots of awareness and resilience for the darker sides of the world as well as a very solid moral compass and compassion

Leo Moons likely had grandiose standards forced on them that inflated their self-importance. It's giving "mommy told me I am the best and most special of all" which is great but now they be carrying that mindset for the rest of their lives and this is where lot of their infamous sensitivity and fragile ego comes from cause not fulfilling these standards deeply hurts their heart. In consequence they tend to be more unprepared to accept humbling experiences that'll make them mature

virgo risings are funny!!!! I haven't seen anyone mention this, but every virgo rising I've met cracked me UP, they are so witty and never misse a chance to throw in a cheeky joke every 2 minutes. I think this is overlooked because they keep a rather awkward demeanor to them which often makes for a rather dry delivery. Best examples of this are Ryan Raynolds, Keanue Reeves, Emma Watson, Cole Sprouse...

Also, all Virgo risings I've met tend to come across as huge snobs so it's very common that people don't take their humor or friendliness seriously

Honestly I've noticed this theme with Virgo/6th house inner placements in general where their judgemental nature always makes them unfriendly or snarky to some degree. They can be the kind of people who are never happy with anything and always have a bone to pick.

My main theory as to why Leo risings are the most shy out of all Leo placements is because a lot of them grew up in very problematic and dysfunctional families (Scorpio 4th house) where they were shamed for showing vulnerability or being genuine (Cancer 12th house)

I’ve noticed Aries Suns and Capricorn Suns tend to relate a lot to their fathers, they tend to have very similar character traits as their fathers. For good or for bad their relationship with their father is always very important in their personality.

I find that LEO Suns and Sagittarius Suns always be having daddy issues tho like 😭😭😭😭

One thing about Capricorn is they can be literal billionaires and yet will still refuse to spend a dime on something they think is not worth it

Mutable Moons don’t commit 10000% to things, they’re the type to always have a foot out just in case. They're most likely to commit to things if they don't feel forced or expected to stay permanently

Cardinal energy is very consistent and responsable. People with prominent cardinal placements have a really developed sense of agency, focus and direction (imo this will be more obvious with moon, mars and asc). There's something about them that always gives me this put together "I've got this" kinda vibe, they always seem like they've got it together and always know what to do even when they're lost.

Fixed mercuries and their inability to understand or accept that two different points can be true

Sun/Leo in the 3rd house could want to have a nice car, an expensive or luxurious car from a well-known brand

I’ve seen people saying Venus-Mars conjunction gives it girl vibes. This is also HIGHLY true for Mars-ruled Venus (Aries/Scorpio Venus) or Venus-ruled Mars (Libra/Taurus Mars)

work by astrobydalia

[fushic0re]

𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐑𝐎𝐂𝐊𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑!𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐎

𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: what it is like to date the choso kamo. 

𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: smut. insecurity. anxious attachment style. brief mentions of unhealthy family dynamics and trauma.

𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃𝐃𝐎𝐍❜𝐓 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐃! 𝐃𝐍𝐈...minors (18+ only), blank blogs, spam liking without reblogging.

꒰ ͜͡➸ if you enjoyed this story, please give it a reblog! reblogs are writers' bread & butter. thank you! ૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა ♡

Choso is most definitely a bassist. His entire personality screams bass player. 

Unlike the guitar, the bass isn’t the first sound to be picked up by your ears. You have to feel the bass. It shakes the very ground you walk on, cementing its sound into every step you take, becoming one with you. 

A good bassline can transform an entire song, giving its melody depth and richness–that’s Choso for you. 

He’s a bit understated, letting the rest of the members of the band take the lead when it comes to the spotlight. His role is to be the solid foundation for their music. 

Choso is the quiet and mysterious one–the personification of tall, dark, and handsome. 

He has an Instagram account only out of obligation and only posts when a song or album releases and when they’re going on tour. 

No one knows shit about Choso, only who his brothers are–the ones who are in the band at least….and Yuuji because Yuuji brags about him all the time. 

He’s fiercely protective over his peace and privacy. He loves music and doesn’t want to bastardize his art by cutting it up and processing it through the machine that is the industry.

That being said, not a single person in the public eye knows about you. They may know that he’s in a relationship, but they won’t know with who. Choso strives to keep you away from the vultures of social media. He guards your peace and privacy with a great honor. 

He is incredibly polite and chivalrous, very pleasant to work with. But if you cross his boundaries, his personality immediately switches. 

He’s not above getting snappy with fans who get too handsy or curious with him. 

Back to his social media; if he’s not promoting their work, he’s telling said parasocial fans to “fuck off”. No one can even hate him for it. 

He’s the big brother, the leader behind the scenes, the one who makes sure everyone has their shit together. As much as he loves that role, it puts a lot of pressure on him. 

That being said, he’s a stoner for sure. This rockstar boyfie has a lot weighing on him. Weed keeps him from becoming too high-strung. Helps with his creative process too since when he’s high, he’s the most honest with himself. 

Very sensitive and emotional, which is unexpected by most. 

Choso feels a lot. He always has. As the eldest of a shit ton of siblings with a shitty father, he had to feel everything for his siblings to shield them from traumatization the best he could. It’s one of the main reasons why he pursued music. Music is practically the only outlet for him to full express his emotions. 

That being said, he’s a little rough around the edges when it comes to vulnerability. 

When he meets you, your relationship is passionate, intense, and fast. 

He pretty much knows he’s in love with you the very moment he meets you. He has met a lot of people and knows how to get a good read on someone’s personality and character–he knew you were it for him. 

That scared him a lot though. He’s never loved someone so much and he doesn’t quite know how to handle it. 

Can be insecure sometimes. Definitely has an anxious attachment style that he is actively working to change, but he’s not a perfect man. He messes up. 

If he’s away on tour for too long, his mind ends up racing with irrational thoughts and worries. Hearing your voice soothes all those thoughts away.

He really doesn’t want to perpetuate the toxic cycles he has been subject to, so just know your man is trying his best.

Loves fashion. His artistic lens isn’t just limited to music. Style is an outlet for expression that Choso holds in high regard. 

Very down to earth. He’s often spotted taking walks and grabbing snacks from local convenience stores at ungodly hours when he can’t sleep, but most fans respect him and don’t take pictures.

Very cutesy. After a long day, he just wants to snuggle up with you and watch Studio Ghibli movies. 

Sex is absolutely raunchy though. Yes, he’s rough around the edges when it comes to verbalizing his vulnerability, but he definitely doesn’t struggle doing so physically. 

With every thrust, that man conveys his love for you…it’s a lot of love. 

If you’re okay with it, and only if you’re okay with it, he’ll get completely carried away. 

He can grip your hips and thighs so tight that he leaves behind little fingertip bruises. He can overstimulate both you and himself whenever he’s lost in you–you’ve blacked out during sex at least once.

Think you can’t squirt? There’s a chance that he can make you.

A vocal lover for sure. His therapist told him not to censor his thoughts and he took that shit very seriously–not a single moan, grunt, growl, whimper, or dirty thought will be held back.

That being said he will do the filthiest things to you, debauched acts that you can’t even say out loud, but as soon as it’s over this little shit will look at you with the softest puppy-like expression and be like “Can we order ramen and watch ‘Ponyo’?” 

There’s a big misconception that Choso doesn’t play a role in songwriting and that the band’s lead singer writes all the songs. 

However, Choso is quite the writer and poet. 

No, Noranso is not in love.

But he’ll let fans think that as he plays with a soft smile on his face. 

© this work belongs to @fushic0re. do not plagiarize, translate, or repost on any other platforms.

[denwritesandcries]

Lose on losing Dogs – S.S

Pairing: shauna shipman x fem!reader

Summary: There she is. The first person you met when you moved into the neighborhood. Your first friend, your first crush, your first kiss and your first heartbreak. Your first grief is very much alive and looking at you in the eye now.

or, shauna comes back.

Word count: 1,2k.

Content: post-crash, angst, reunion, reader and shauna had something going on, hurt/barely any comfort, the consequences of the accident, traumatized teenagers.

Note: They’re both broken and traumatized your honor.

English is not my first language.

Nineteen months. Five hundred and seventy-nine days.

It's been 19 months, 2 weeks and 7 hours since you've last seen Shauna. Since you've seen any Yellowjacket, actually. Since the crash.

Now you're standing outside her room, staring at the door silently like an idiot after showing up at her parents' house wearing pajama bottoms and looking just as much of a mess as they do. Damn.

Her mother looked at you with so much relief when she saw you on her porch that she just rushed you inside immediately, looking like she might cry at any moment because “you’re the first person to come see her who isn’t one of those tv parasites." And well, you didn't say anything. What could you say? Last time you saw her was at her daughter's funeral.

Shauna is back, you think.

You've finished school, graduated. Left town. Started college. You got your own life now and still there wasn't a single day where you haven't thought about her. Remembering her. Mourning her.

And now she's back. Alive.

It still doesn't feel real, even though it is. You just have to open the door so you can see it for yourself. Why can't you open the door?

“Mom,” comes her voice from inside the room, probably having sensed your footsteps prowling the hallway, “I told you to leave me alone.”

The sound is so strange and yet so familiar that it makes you choke on air, feeling your eyes sting from the tears you've been holding back since climbing the stairs. Without wasting another minute, you step forward and open the door, not realizing what you're doing until your sweaty hand turns the handle.

The first thing you notice is that the room is cold, the curtains are closed, one of the dressers is visibly dusty as if no one has been there for a long time. A room inhabited by a ghost. The last thing you notice is the bundle of blankets in the middle of the bed, with a mess of brown hair scattered around the edge, and a barely touched plate of food on the desk.

Clearing your throat, you take a deep breath. “Shauna,” you call.

You see the exact moment she registers your voice and freezes, even though you can't see her face.

She remains still and curled up and you shift your weight from one foot to the other, nervous and embarrassed. Maybe she doesn't want to see you. What made you think that you of all people would be the one she wanted to come visit her after coming back from the dead and a freaking accident? You can still remember the screams and hurtful words directed at you the last time you two saw each other. Maybe it would have been better if you hadn't come.

“Shauna,” you try again, sounding as desperately as you feel, “It’s me. I came to see you— To see how you are.”

'Liar', replies a voice – very similar to Shauna's on that fateful night, the night before the crash – 'if you really wanted to see me or know how I was doing, you would have come the day the plane landed, like everyone else did.’

I was in another city, you think. Shauna spent weeks in the hospital. Nobody let me see her. They didn't let me see any of them. I came as soon as I heard that she had been discharged and returned home.

‘And yet you woke up and spent hours walking in circles around your childhood bedroom, car keys in your hand. You almost left.’

You startle when the pile of blankets suddenly moves again, revealing the shape hidden beneath them and then you're finally face to face. Shauna Shipman. Your Shauna. The first person you met when you moved into the neighborhood. Your first friend, your first crush, your first kiss and your first heartbreak. Your first grief is very much alive and looking at you in the eye right now.

She faces you in a way that is impossible to avoid. God, she seems so thin, hair wildly messed up, big, deep brown eyes with dark circles beneath them, pupils so glassy it hurts to look at it, and Shauna looks lost, kneeling in the middle of the bed, like it's impossible to believe that you could be there.

Shauna calls your name, sounding so incredulous and so incredibly sad that being two feet away from her seems absurd and you cross the room in a blink, sitting on the edge of the bed and reaching out to pull her against you, before thinking better and deciding to grab her hands instead. She shudders.

“You came,” Shauna says. Her voice sounds hoarse and worn, you imagine she hasn't used it much at home or in the hospital. “I didn’t think you would come.”

You can feel scars on her hands as your fingers move to rub circles over the skin, and a brief glance makes you aware of old, yellowed bruises on her wrists.

“I did,” your voice breaks. “Of course I did.”

She seems completely different from that girl you were in love with and dumped you so long ago. The aloof, almost cold girl you argued with when you caught her fucking Jeff in a car when you were walking home from a stupid high school party. This sure doesn't look like the girl who screamed “What, do you think we're girlfriend and boyfriend or somethin'? I've never said we were exclusive!” when you tearfully told her you loved her the night before the whole disaster happened.

But her eyes are the same. Intense, painful, hazy. And still difficult to decipher completely. That's what makes you hug her back when her lips tremble and she launches herself against you in a thrust that throws you back a little. She melts and sinks into your touch like she wants to be a part of you, just like she used to do before.

“It was horrible,” she groans against your neck.

Shauna cries. She cries badly. She cries ugly and loud, tears wetting your neck and shirt incessantly, as if she has desperately needed it for a long time. She clings to your shoulders as if you were her lifeline. She's sniffling and whimpering like a child.

You hold her silently, having no idea what to say, running your hand gently down her back to calm her and trying to ignore the fact that you can feel her spine and ribs through the old sleep shirt she wears.

You also have no idea how many hours have passed before her crying subsides to silent sniffles, but when you look out the window you can tell that it's already night outside, even with the curtains closed. It doesn't matter, you would hold her forever if Shauna asked, especially if she continued trembling like that.

The room is completely dark and silent when she finally speaks again.

“Jackie's dead.” She mumbles, voice completely defeated, zoned out as if she weren't really here.

“Oh, Shauna,” you mumble back, feeling your own tears spill as well. “I know. Everyone is dead.”

Everyone is dead, but she is still here.

You squeeze her as tight as you can in your arms, as if you can stop her from disappearing again. Shauna whimpers against you and sniffles harder, her nails on your shoulders scratch and draw some blood, the sound of her crying filling the room again even with her face hidden in your chest. You kiss her forehead and she keeps crying, but she's still here so everything is fine.

At least enough to not give up completely.

[rubydubydoo122]

Titans Tower was peak sibling behavior. Anyone who says otherwise just… does not have any siblings

Jason actually didn't mean to beat Tim up that bad, it was just his Cain instinct going off

[dyke-will-graham]

Thinking about Lucius being so traumatized and not being able to share it all because he knows Pete can’t handle it so he just keeps compartmentalizing and then Stede is like you don’t want to end up like me sad gay and alone go talk to him means so much to me. SO MUCH TO ME. They’re a family your honor

[dallasgallant]

I never realized it before until recently but it’s so crazy how much and how often ponyboy babies johnny in the book….. always talking about him being the pet of the group (which is true but he really does talk about him like he was a dog or a cat like chill out girl 😭), how much hero worship he has for everyone around him, his stature and soft spoken-ness, pony really seems to preserve him by making him seem like 10 years old even though he describes many situations in which johnny is taking care of him especially in windrixville like staying awake for him on the train letting him sleep on him, his own jacket as a blanket when he goes to buy them food, etc lol I hope you get what I mean I don’t have the book with me rn so I can’t really give off exact examples off the top of my head but—

also maybe that’s why people are often soooo turned off by the concept of J and D being a ship because of how PB describes him, I’ve seen people think that J was the same age or younger than him and so they think of a big brother/little brother dynamic for jally when they actually seem more on equal ground than pony and dally (who in a kind of mentor/mentee relationship) and even pony and johnny (who I’d say are in more of a brother relationship… controversial opinion I know but I’m sticking with it!) in fact I’d say they’re the Most on equal ground in the whole story even more than soda and darry…. but I’ll let you guys figure that out on your own… even though JD only have a 1.5 age difference

okayyyyy so I definitely didn’t mean to make this about the ship dynamics of the book but I guess I can’t not be gay for five fucking minutes 😭😭😭 but it’s relevant to the point !!! idk I just felt like rambling to someone about it because pony really does talk about him like he’s so little and I think that really muddles the perception of johnny even though he’s trying to honor his memory because of the delicate ways he’s trying to protect him after he died :(

johnny cade they will never make me hate you </3

Oh yeah, I definitely think a lot of it is Pony’s recognition of himself as the youngest, as a “baby” and sort of projecting it off onto someone else. However, we know the gang doesn’t just see pony as “the kid brother” so it’s sort of his own issue to work out- as well as I think a bit of a lack of understanding? Or lack of a way to properly explain the way the gang treats Johnny, they take it a little easy on him as he’d been shaken pretty bad (they wouldn’t known/use ‘traumatized’ but they would know he changed a little) but they never really talk down to him.

No but yes I agree! Pony sort of washes over a lot of senecios where Johnny is clearly the older/more mature of the two of them. He’s the second youngest but he’s still 16. He’s still protecting and helping Pony like the rest of the guys and the whole “my fault for dragging a 13 year old kid along” detail…

No you’re right honestly. It’s weird to me as Johnny’s described as soft and close to Ponyboy but he never came across as 14 or that young to me in the book or movie— like there was always that knowledge to him that revealed his age. And I agree… he and Dally are on equal footing and trust. They have something going on whatever way you interpret it…. Personally I find “little brother” INSANE. As where people baby Johnny they over age Dallas… he’s 17 it’s a years age difference. If a friend barely older than me tried to pull that I’d throat punch them 😭 it’s ? They’re trying to make it cute but it feels a little demeaning? Putting the “little” in there. Dal doesn’t talk down to Johnny… honestly he talks up to him, gets mad expecting him to know better etc — trusts him with the gun, money etc everything and taking responsibility.

But no that’s also so sweet that in a way, even if Pony is being a bit off in how Johnny was treated that he’s trying to sort of protect him within his story. Honor him in a strange way. Ough. He was his best friend, you’d want to sweeten that image. Absolve.

[mcyt-trios]

The winner of this poll will go on to face Architechs (Grian, MumboJumbo, Iskall85)

PROPAGANDA:

Campfire Crew:

CAMPFIRE CREW THE ABSOLUTE GUYS OF ALL TIME. CAMPFIRE CREW THE PINNACLE OF ACCIDENTAL FORESHADOWING THE TOP TIER OF "IT'S NOT THAT DEEP BUT IT COULD BE" WATCH AS LOYALTY EATS THEM FROM THE INSIDE OUT IT WAS ALWAYS GOING TO END THIS WAY YOU SAY FINAL THREE AND YOU COME OUT WITH THE FINAL THREE. there is literally SO MUCH i could say about campfire crew and absolutely none of it would be enough. death games are prime material for interactions of all time and the campfire crew is absolutely knocking it out of the park. they lose their first lives planning around each other. they live in the same house (they live in different houses). they're scheming against each other. they're working with each other. they're two people who have FOUR KILLS EACH and one hapless innocent man. they're three people who swore a pact over a campfire and despite everything ended up holding to that pact. every time they play rock paper scissors, someone dies. the innocent, in death, turns them against each other, despite this not being how the game works. they reveal their roles to each other and it has this entire sense of inevitability -- of everyone having ALREADY KNOWN what was going to happen. it doesn't matter that two of them are going to kill everyone else on the server. you get that "innocent's" loyalty and you have him for life. paranoia is nothing next to a need for blood and connection. i have a normal amount of emotions over "i swear my loyalty / i offer my fealty / uhhhhhhhh same." do not @ me

Ghaae:

They’re in love your honor. They’re three gay men in love. Two himbos and a scientist. They were roommates then they were lovers.

dam it, I don't have the words for them. they are just little guys with big hearts and lots of love to give and all of them are just a bit traumatized and bit to used to the concept of death and they all need hugs and get them surprisingly often despite everything happening around them, and I love them and would kill for them <3

Gay people. Honestly that's it. They all need hugs respectively (as does everyone in this smp) Rae is the child of the Goddess of the mind, and is also the vessel of said Goddess (and is 1 of 2 things keeping their end dimension together). Aax is a olm who was. Made a in a lab. And kills undead things whether they want to or not (he was made to), named himself after an axe. Caspain is just a guy. The most guy on this smp. They got a cute little house and a even more adorable dog named atlas, and back in season 2 their axolotal area was named the armory because most of the axolotals were named after weapons. (Season 3 its just a pond), they're very gay all the time and deserve the whole world.

[forsworned]

hey pookie i saw your requests were open so i thought id drop by with this little nugget

simon x older sister reader who loves her family more than anything but has a weird inner turmoil with them kind of like fiona gallagher style

sort of “as your child im still mad but as a human i forgive you”

possibly military x cop brat, had to step up to raise her siblings and she’s thankful for everything her parents did for them and understands both are traumatized but also has a lot of resentment for the amount of stress and caretaking she did for her parents and her siblings.

really shows with the way she loves simon too. always taking care of him bc it’s the only thing she knows how to do to show someone you love him and it’s exactly what simon thinks he needs, someone to borderline mother him with their affection and caretaking. but he starts to feel almost condescended?? when she won’t let him take care of her. she feels unheard bc she has this feeling, no matter how unjustified, that if she doesn’t do everything herself it won’t get done. only way they know to argue is yelling but after a few really difficult nights they sit down and eventually they start to sort it out

they’re just two traumatized people leaning to love eachother your honor

"How was work today?"

You inquire, chopping the leek on the wooden board before tossing it into the pot. Simon glances over at the dark circles under your eyes, and your hunched stances over the stove before you peer over at him.

"' was fine." He slowly moves closer to you. "Lemme help." He puts his hand over yours and reflexively jerks your hand away from him.

"I'm fine." You practically spit at him. His eyes harden slightly at your reaction. Knowing the past family trauma that you had both been through it was common, but today, Simon's patience is wearing thin.

"You're not fine." He retorts, taking the knife out of your hand. You try yank it back, but he's quicker. "I want to take care of you for once, [name]. Let me. Please."

Simon begging to help you isn't new, but usually, he had given up to avoid confrontation. Today, however, he is not backing down so quickly.

You lip quivers. "If I don't do it—"

"—No one will?" Simon finishes for you. He scoffs, setting the knife down on the counter. You reach for it again and he slides it away further from you. "Tha's a load of horseshit and you know it. 'm not some incompetent fool. I can take care of myself and you."

You avert your gaze to the kitchen tile, letting out a shaky breath as you wipe away the tears pricking at your eyes with the back of your sleeve. "It's all I know how to do." You whisper, hugging yourself. "Ever since Mom and Dad passed..."

You choke on your sobs, and Simon sighs before wrapping his burly arms around you in a comforting hug. His chin rests on the top of your head, and you swallow thickly.

"I know, I know." He rubs your arm. "But we're all grown up now, eh?"

He pulls back to look down at you, and his words make you crack a smile through your tears. "Yeah, we are."

"So stop being so harsh on yourself. Live your life for you, [name]." He stares intently at you, gently jostling you with every word. You nod and rub your eyes again.

"Besides, I know you've got a thing for Johnny and..." He begins, and your cheeks warm at his unexpected words.

He raises his brows at your bashful expression before chuckling.

"I don't!" You protest, crossing your arms, but Simon sees right through you.

"He says he's been dying to tell you—"

"Lalalalala!" You cover your ears with your hands as you run out of the kitchen. He shakes his head as he resumes the cooking you left behind. If it gets you out of taking care of him, he'd do it again and again. The biggest perk? He was telling the truth. So, his plan to get you out of the house is already working.

"Killin two birds with one stone," Simon murmurs to himself, smiling as he stirs the pot.

[swp2023]

SWP Account

TW: transphobia, transmisogyny, SA, gaslighting/manipulation, general trotskyist bullshit

I first joined the SWP as a minor during the Honor Oak demos. When I attended one of the protests for the first time in May 2023, I knew fairly little about the British left and its intricacies. I joined at a time when I was incredibly vulnerable - I was an isolated trans teenager with a poor home and school life and few friends. I initially joined SUTR but was soon syphoned into the SWP and became a formal member around 1.5 months in. After four months I was lucky enough to meet people outside of the party, find my own systems of support, and start drifting away from them. At the beginning of October I formally left the party and rescinded my membership. I essentially speedran the process. I know that I am not the first to come forward about their experiences in the SWP, and that my account won’t be as horrific or traumatic as others’. But the more I sit with the memories of spending time in the SWP, the more frustrated and angry I become with how poorly I was treated, especially as a trans teenager. A while ago, I compiled a list of everything I could recall about being in the party and its impact on me, and I’m hoping sharing it will draw more awareness to the extent that the Socialist Workers Party hasn’t changed and actively poses a threat to young activists. 

Structural/Functional Problems

Most people are aware of the SWP’s overt focus on recruitment, but within the party it’s even worse than it looks from the outside. Recruitment processes target those new to activism, especially young women and queer people. On multiple occasions, SWP leaflets were purposefully plastered outside my secondary school and other schools in the area. Once you’re involved with the party in any capacity, there’s a lot of pressure to ensure you formally join - if you’re not a member, within a month you’ll have membership papers being shoved in your face constantly. The worst instance of this was when I attended Marxism over the summer while I was in quite a bad place. I ended up having a breakdown in a corner of SOAS, and someone walked up to me when I was visibly upset and somehow tried to use it as a recruitment opportunity. Although far from the worst of their faults, the recruitment means the party is incredibly stagnant and frankly, boring. The same meetings repeat over and over, the same discussions are held, conferences are repetitive and demos are attended only for the purposes of recruiting or selling papers. 

The general attitude towards other, non-SWP activists is extremely condescending and patronising, especially in both formal and informal discussions of anarchism and grassroots organising. I consistently heard anarchists being reduced to a violent, ineffective group of rag tag young un’s who don’t know what they’re doing. I think it must have been in their handbook to describe anarchism as “grabbing 15 of your mates and beating up fascists”, because I heard that exact phrasing used at least twice. The belief that the SWP’s unwritten values and structures are the only correct ones runs deeply, and since I was a teenager my age was often used to dismiss my actions as immature or naive. I was told I was being pretentious for wearing a mask at demos - I’d been doxxed before and was looking out for my safety but apparently this made me appear “hostile and unwelcoming”. 

I can’t emphasise enough how much everyone in the SWP is treated as disposable unless you work for them. They don’t care about arrestee support, accountability, or building safe environments. I was a trans teenager so I looked good for their party, but ultimately they couldn’t care less what I had to say and I was often shut down or told my ideas weren’t appropriate. The SWP consistently seizes the politics of individuals’ marginalised identities to create a more appealing facade, while also discarding the same individuals as soon as they are no longer politically convenient. 

Lack of Accountability

From the beginning, it was clear that there were zero helpful routes for complaints or conflict resolution. I asked multiple times at meetings what their explicit process was for dealing with internal issues, and at best I got an off-hand mention to the central committee. Mostly I was shut down right away and told it wasn’t the right time to ask - a better time never became apparent. There is zero transparency and it didn’t take me too long to realise that I had no faith in anyone in the party to protect me or listen to me if something went south. You’ll hear them talk about their “disputes committee”, which was established as a response to the Comrade Delta coverup, but despite all the time I spent in the party I still have no idea who’s in this committee, how to access it, or whether it’s ever successfully resolved a dispute. 

No one talks about the coverup. This isn’t too surprising but every time I tried to ask about it, I was met with the same awkward dismissal. It’s creepy how everyone who’s been in the party for a while feeds you the same “that was a long time ago and we’ve changed and learned from it” schtick. Even a month in the party would be enough to show you that this isn’t true. The process of covering up the reputational damage from Comrade Delta is very much still active and the more time you spend around them, the more subtly intrinsic it becomes to everything you do. I was walking with a paid member of the SWP and watched him slap an SWP “trans rights now” sticker over one that read “the SWP protects rapists in their party”. No organisation that’s suitably addressed its failures should feel so threatened by the reminder of them. 

More widely, there are never any internal criticisms of the party. When I was in, I was in deep. I went to their weekly meetings, their organising meetings, their conferences - I went to fucking marxism. Not once did I hear a natural critique arise, there’s a complete lack of self awareness. It isn’t an environment where you’d feel comfortable expressing criticisms, and this has led to an echo chamber of sorts in which many members are incapable of conceiving themselves or the party as imperfect. It’s a dangerous amount of self-assuredness and this attitude allows for a culture of racism and bigotry to underlie the party’s supposedly anti-racist fronts - microaggressions don’t get called out, racism gets excused especially in the predominantly white spaces. There aren’t any attempts to actually foster anti-racist mindsets or incorporate it into how they organise, it’s largely just for external presentation and again, recruitment. 

Any issues that do get brought up are met with absurd amounts of gaslighting and guilt tripping. The party runs on guilt and censorship. If you ask too many questions people start acting cold or frame your comment as needlessly confrontational. Even now, I still struggle to process a lot of what happened because I was constantly told it was normal, that I was overreacting, that because I was relatively new to activism I didn’t know what I was talking about. 

Transphobia and Transmisogyny

As I’ve mentioned, my main involvement in the party was based around my identity as a trans youth, but there was very little regard for my safety as it pertained to this. For instance, without any warning a parcel was sent to my house with my chosen name on it. This put me in a bad situation because my parents hated the thought of me going by another name, I had to lie and endure my home life temporarily getting much worse. When I brought it up with someone I trusted in the SWP, it was dismissed without so much as an apology for putting me in a dangerous situation. I spoke to another trans ex-member about this and they told me about going through the exact same thing a few years back - the SWP doesn’t learn or change. 

There is consistent, blatant transphobia in the party. There were too many occurrences to list out here, but it’s so profoundly endemic to the party that I spent a considerable amount of time feeling uncomfortable and objectified. I had someone tell me they wouldn’t use they/them pronouns because “it’s too hard”. I was constantly misgendered, and although it was sometimes a careless mistake it was often very clearly intentionally weaponised. Almost every time it happened there was someone in the room who knew me well enough to know what my pronouns were and correct the mistake, but that never happened. No one stood up for me. 

There’s explicit transmisogyny. In addition to being generally misgendered and sexualised, trans women are often referred to with they/them pronouns and as a “person”. There was a trans woman quite deeply involved with the party who I spoke with a few times, she often got dismissed when she contributed at conferences and one time, a cis dude fully stood up and started talking over her while the chair of the meeting allowed it to happen. 

Contrary to what the SWP would have you believe, there just aren’t many trans people in the party. Certainly not a proportionate amount when compared to the wider left, which isn’t surprising once you’ve experienced being trans in there - there aren’t any attempts to make you feel any less isolated, ostracised, or used. There are, however, plenty of cis people who think that just because they’ve attended a trans demo or two they know more about the experiences of trans people than we do. 

I want to note that all the transphobia I experienced and witnessed took place while London branches of the SWP were spending their time at HO trans rights demos, handing out their placards, using it for recruitment, and taking credit for the work that was mainly being done by grassroots activists. Transphobia is just one example of how hollow their ideals are. 

Non-Existent Consent Culture

When I was sitting in a conference at SOAS, a man I didn’t know sat next to me and ran his hand down my back while we were talking, and then repeatedly tried to scoot closer to me when I moved away. 

A different time, someone tried to get me to sit close enough to them so that our legs were touching. 

Both of these incidents were extremely creepy and uncomfortable, and just to be clear: I was visibly/openly a minor during both. 

In general, physical contact is heavily normalised and sort of expected. There was always an expectation that you’d hug people, that you were okay with being patted on the back or having an arm around your shoulders or whatever. I always felt uncomfortable with this and although some people were fine with it and people’s intentions weren’t always harmful, there’s just generally zero consent culture and most times I wouldn’t have felt comfortable saying no. 

When I was in a transition phase of technically still being in the SWP but trying to spend as little time around them as possible, one of them came up to me at a demo (where, for the record, I’d just been through quite a traumatic incident - not that it should have to matter) and tried to pull me in for a hug without asking. When I flinched away without saying anything other than “hi”, she later commented to a comrade that I was being rude. The persistent entitlement to my body and my consent was disgusting. 

Exit Process

When I started spending less time with the SWP and more time with anarchists and antifascists, they were semi-aware of it so I got lots of calls and messages purporting to be “checking in”, but the undertone was very much “why aren’t you standing with us at demos anymore”. No one ever checked in on me when I was properly in the party. One of the calls was particularly lengthy and pretty much summed up to “we feel like you’re drifting away, we really miss you and you’re our comrade” - more guilt tripping. The feeling that I was trapped because I was constantly being contacted and approached at demos was bad enough to make me actively suicidal. 

The final breaking point for me was a conversation that happened in the South London SWP group chat that had reached an intolerable level of censorship. Someone, very politely, complained about how the branch had made a commitment to doing hybrid meetings but consistently struggled to actually have working tech/mics/etc. They also suggested a possible solution. They got shut down with a curt “our main focus has to be in the room rather than on our phones”, a comment that rightfully got called out as being explicitly ableist, especially since the following messages implied that attending online was insufficient or lazy. This conversation was concerning enough, but the original person then got told they “sounded harsh” (they didn’t - I’ve seen more lively conversations in my extended family’s whatsapp group), and was explicitly told to delete their message. I finally had a good answer to what happens when you criticise anything the SWP does, and this was a fairly mild criticism too. 

Then, a comrade I know very gently expressed their support for the original person - literally just said that they agreed with them and didn’t think they were being harsh. This comrade (also a teen) got two separate DMs telling them that they “misunderstood” what was happening and to delete their message as well. The hierarchies and power structures within the SWP are so obviously corrupt, and this whole incident just made that much more clear to me. 

I sent a final message on this chat, calling out the patterns of behaviour I’d noticed and advising people to do what I had - take a step back and look at who actually gets listened to in the party, at the corruption that’s so deeply rooted in it. Then I left that chat. The next day I was removed from every SWP-related chat I was in - fine by me, I was done. I did get sent one DM telling me that I had misread the situation, was overreacting, etc. It was incredibly infantilizing and blamed the fact that I’d been associating with other people as the reason I’d formed these opinions - clearly the SWP was reliant on my isolation. 

I was out of the chats but I did get the aforementioned comrade to update me on the aftermath, which was mostly damage control. The upcoming conference got plugged, people talked shit about me for being immature and overreacting. I’ve got screenshots of this incident in particular but I honestly don’t think they’re too worth sharing. I firmly believe that painting the bigger picture of the party and how and why it operates like this is much more important. 

I’d say I made it very clear that I wanted nothing more to do with the SWP and its members, but to this day I still have issues with them at demos. I’ve had people come up to me and try to touch me in various ways - hugs, back pats, etc - that I’ve expressed I’m uncomfortable with. There’s someone who winks at me. The general attitude towards me seems to be either glaring me down when I walk by (I don’t mind this honestly), or being overly nice as if I hadn’t been groomed into their cult (this is considerably worse).

I think this summarises it pretty well. It’s not everything - some stuff is hard to talk about, some would involve revealing info about me that I need to be private, and honestly my brain has defensively blocked out a lot of the time I spent around the SWP, so I’m still remembering stuff out of the blue. But please listen to me, listen to everyone else who’s been through their pipeline and made it out the other end. They aren’t just an annoyance with boring placards, they hurt people. They prey on young queers and women and don’t actually give a shit about anyone. Kick them out of your demos, kick them out of your circles, and also - try to get people out! I owe my life to the anarchists who were like “hey, we see you’re in there and you probably don’t want to be - you can hang out with us”. Most of the people the SWP recruits are sucked in before they have a chance to form other networks, and it’s hard as fuck to leave a party when all your activism takes place within it and you’ve got nowhere else to go. The Socialist Workers Party is broken beyond repair and needs to be dissolved, and I would encourage its current membership to resign. Thanks for reading.