#they’re so interesting and fun honestly

[wonysugar]

going down on a dork || aeri uchinaga

synopsis : giselle, a camgirl, decides to make a dork a special guest on her page.

pairing : camgirl!giselle x bicurious!femreader

genre : smut

tags : cunnilingus, lots of it i think, mentions of fingering, mentions of hetero sex? sorry LMFAO, fem reader is implied to be bicurious, kissing, making out, giselle records this shit on her old gen macbook, we love an aesthetic queen, anyways yeah lesbian sex that’s about it really

word count : 1.9k

a/n : 4am… I TOLD YALL I COULD DO IT!😭😭but yeah uhm here you gooo i kinda don’t really care about it..? like yeah i wrote this butjfrjjf that’s about it… not one of my bests! like honestly this was not worth the wait i made y’all go throughfjdmdn I’M SORRY🙏but yeah erm i’ll proofread tomorrow cause rn i’m fighting demons to not close my eyesss gootnight love y’all or whateva

btw sorry for the thing at the end LMFAOAO i got the idea and just had to, i sincerely apologize

“alright.”

the familiar girl, known online as giselle, backed away from the macbook, grin on her face, and sat back down on the bed with another person, eyeing them excitedly.

“alright.” repeated the other girl, fidgeting with her hands nervously as she sat up, before adding on, “c-can they see me?” earning laughter from the content creator before her.

“oh they’ll definitely see you, just not your face, obviously.” 

the stranger, labeled as the dork in the title of the video, seemed to be somewhat relieved by those words and allowed herself to relax more, leaning back onto the comfy bed and putting all of her weight onto the back of her arms. by getting comfortable, her neck now came into frame, her hair length became visible. 

“so,” giselle spoke softly, her eyes switching back and forth between fixing on the girl’s eyes and lips, that is, with a playful grin. “you excited?” 

that earned a nervous giggle from said girl, “honestly? not even sure what i agreed to do.” 

truth is, this was a recurring thing for the camgirl, and it would be a lie to say that she wasn’t known on campus for that exact reason, especially by a particular subgroup of girls; she, a lesbian, spends her freetime interesting other women, whether they’re bicurious or simply just bored, into having (mostly oral) sex with her, whilst also being consensually recorded in the act so she can diffuse it online, later on. that was her whole internet thing, among the more solo-esque type of content she put out every now and then.

she gave a respective codename to each girl, as to make sure they stay completely anonymous whilst also giving them a tiny description, something for the viewers to go off of. multiple examples of those immediately come to mind; cheerleader, mom, hell, one of them is even straight up called woman in stem.

now, she had great amounts of fun with all of them, obviously, and all of those one-time occurrences contributed in making her a couple of bucks due to the number of views, nothing to complain about. but in all honesty, they were all just girls at the end of the day. this girl? she couldn’t quite place her finger on what it was, but there was something about her, something that exhilarated giselle.

she knew she was gonna have a lot more fun with this dork, and it definitely showed through her giddy-like expression when she spoke to her, she was by far the most entertaining one she’s ever had to partake with, and she hadn’t even done anything to her yet.

yet.

despite the under-average quality of the macbook giselle always filmed her videos with, anybody could guess that due to the setting, the initial rendezvous was a cozy study session, with nothing but the slight yet bright daytime sunshine breaking into the room through the mostly curtain-covered windows.

the title foreshadowed it all, however, and all it took were those uncertain words to make giselle want to turn that short conversation, this whole hangout, into something else, something more. she crawled closer and pressed her lips against the dork’s. the kiss was slow and gentle, as well as being the only thing audible in the silent room at that moment. 

she pulled away from the first contact, then softly spoke out a “you’ll figure it out eventually.” loud enough that the shitty microphone picked it up, before leaning back in again, this time in a comfier position as to properly straddle the nervous girl that was under her.

to the latter’s own surprise, she returned the kiss that was placed on her lips; it was clear she would’ve wanted to do more than just sit there and take it, easier said than done. she wished to actually allow her own hands to explore giselle on a deeper, more personal level, essentially getting accustomed to the feeling of having her body in this close of a proximity to hers, but alas, that wasn’t going to happen for a while, especially since that would officially mark the day that she’s ever touched another girl in such a suggestive manner. the laptop camera recording their every move just further added onto the feeling.

giselle knew that, though, the nervousness that radiated from the girl she intertwined her lips with was so thick in the air that she could practically touch it if she tried. “come on, pretty girl, relax.” she whispered to the girl in between kisses. it obviously didn’t take long after that for the kiss to get hungrier and more heated, which eventually resulted in having her slowly slide down to the dork’s neck, now dragging her lips across and planting messy kisses there, as well as leaving gentle suckles and nibbles. “it’s just you and me.” she added, her hot breath on the girl’s skin.

if giselle were asked to describe that day in full detail, she’d spend at least ten whole minutes gushing and rambling about how fucking good that girl smelled.

the latter seemingly let go and eventually left all of the work to the more experienced woman, taking in all of what was being put on her, slowly learning to ride on the waves of intimacy. soon enough, a content giselle slowly ran her hand up the girl’s graphic tee and reached for the back of her bra, attempting to unhook it with one hand.

which, she successfully did, by the way; muscle memory always came in handy in instances like these.

much to the other girl’s disappointment, giselle pulled away from her attention-deprived neck, breathing heavily as she looked down at the already somewhat visible markings, admiring her work. “do you have a boyfriend?” 

confusion now occupied the majority of the dork’s fuzzy mind, “n-no..” she replied, still shaken up by the mere, previous things the pink haired woman had done to her already, “i wouldn’t be doing this if i did.”

giselle smiled, amused by that answer, eyes hooded with nothing but intent and lust as she stared, “then, are you talking to anybody?”

“well…” responded the other reluctantly, now thinking more carefully as to figure out what exactly to call the strange relationship she held with the boy whose face popped up in her mind. “i-i guess you could say that.” 

giselle traced circles around the nervous girl’s stomach, hand slipped under that tee, with her black and white acrylic nails, feline-like gaze still fixed on her lips. “when was the last time you saw him?”

“..yesterday.”

“yeah?” she asked for confirmation, slightly tilting her head in query before subtly leaning closer, “tell me about it.”

“well,” started the girl, looking away as her hands found and held onto anything, her fingers fidgeting some more and playing with the bedsheets she was laying on, twisting, pulling, keeping her muscles busy. she felt like she had to use her entire brain power to recall the elements of the past evening and properly form them into words. she had barely succeeded,  “h-he asked if he could come over, i said yes, obviously, and we… uhm—”

thrown off by the sudden movement of hands slowly pulling down her sweatpants, she went silent and turned back to the girl in front of her as she tried to compose her untamed thoughts. 

“you..?” 

“right.” visibly distracted by the risky contact, the girl further struggled to speak, “w-we.. uh, we had sex.”

giselle smiled knowingly, “well no shit, genius.” 

giggling as she now had completely taken off the sweatpants of the person laying before her, she continued, “i meant in detail; i wanna know everything.”

“oh.” sighed out the girl, both in relief of finally feeling giselle’s hands on her deprived skin again and in thought.

the pink haired chuckled, clearly excited.

this was exciting, both for the viewers and the two parties involved.

the video cut to a more intense scene, the somewhat awkward tension having evaporated into the air and leaving more space for hunger, and desire.

“m-mmh—“ 

with a long, slow and almost painful swipe of the tongue, giselle managed to completely obliterate the girl’s train of thought yet again, leaving her a whimpering mess. the taste of her slick coating the entire surface of her tongue.

“just from one lick? fuck..” she lowly whispered into her cunt, practically to herself, slowly panting into it like a hyperactive dog would. she carefully spread the slightly swollen, moist with slick lips as she stared. it was so pretty, all exposed, wet and vulnerable for her.

she made her feel this way.

and because of it, she couldn’t help but want to give it another taste.

“come on, keep telling.” she reminded the girl with a smirk, who happened to have covered her mouth with the back of her hand, “i’m dying to know more, you know?”

that’s when she fully leaned into said girl’s core, tongue first; leaving gentle kisses and suckles all around the very clearly aroused bundle of nerves before going to town. it was hard to see the details, but it definitely wasn’t hard to hear them and what was going. 

every wet sound, every kiss, every lick, every suckle, every noise that forced itself out of giselle’s throat; all of it was audible.

“h-he ate me out...” softly moaned the girl, now practically biting on her hand to muffle as much noise as she could. this was a college dorm, after all. “he had his lips around my clit a-and his fingers curling inside of me and— fuck.”

giselle was visibly smiling against the girl’s core before pulling away for a quick moment, “if it weren’t for my nails, i would’ve fingered you as soon as you laid on this bed, baby girl.”

giselle would never do that for any of the other girls, her videos consisted of cunnilingus and cunnilingus only.

perhaps the dork was one of a kind?

“i know..” she responded hazily, her voice hoarse and shaky, “you w-would’ve done it better than him.”

“that’s right.” that earned a smile from the pink haired, a prideful and cocky one, “you know me so well, don’t you?”

“mhm.” she said, letting out a whine as she nodded in response to feeling the camgirl’s mouth on her. her body slightly jolted with each contact, the way giselle’s tongue maneuvered around her fragile flower, experience radiating through her movements and eye contact, even through the way she held onto her thighs. 

the girl kept telling, eventually even recalling describing every detail about how the boy fucked her. that, despite being fucked out of her right mind and forgetting how to form words properly.

all of those events were enough to drive the girl closer to the edge after a while.

“ae—“ she stopped mid-sentence and quickly corrected herself, “—giselle i’m about to c-cum..”

the camgirl kept doing what she did best, if not more intensely than previously. she needed to see that pretty girl cum her brains out all over her mouth. she was gonna make her numerous times if she was presented the opportunity.

giselle needed to see how even prettier the girl looked when she came.

the orgasm itself hit her like a truck, a loud one at that. she had unconsciously grabbed a fistful of giselle’s hair and pushed her head closer to her pussy, grinding on her and riding out her excess of dopamine. 

the girl eventually let go, and the video ended after the camgirl pulled away and sat back up, staring at the girl. both of them looking at each other and giggling together, giselle’s dimples more prominent than ever. 

maybe they giggled from nervousness? maybe it was from excitement? 

one thing was for sure, though, giselle was quick to book an appointment with her nail tech as soon as she could.

[linka-from-captain-planet]

Neve/Rana NSFW alphabet

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

They're still soaking up all the touch they can. Cuddling, backrubs, washing up, Neve wrapping Rana's hair up for her to get ready for bed. This is the time they're the most relaxed and the most chatty. They manage to enforce a no-cases-in-bed rule (unless it's really important ofc), so they catch up on their friends, what they're reading (The Lighthouse Book Club still lives and Rana got into Brom's and Bellara's serials), what they should get at the market tomorrow. This kind of comfort and being-together is hard-won, and once they're settled in, they want to savor it.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

You think Neve's wide-open collar exposing the gentle slopes of her chest and a tasteful hint of the weighty cling of her bra-freed breasts to her sternum is an accident? You think they highlight her elegant neck for no reason? You think her perfectly structured belt and suspenders show off her hourglass figure and make sure her perfect ass is crystal clear is for fun? No. Weep. Rana doesn't really have her own favorite on herself - probably her hair if that counts, or women have always liked her arms and shoulders (trained on the sword and bow - she hits all the muscle groups). On each other, Rana is not immune to propaganda. She is a boob woman and Neve's are her first stop every chance she gets, and she also likes Neve's belly and thighs. Neve loves Rana's back and ass; she likes to watch her hands stroke them and dig her painted nails into the muscle.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Rana loves taking Neve's strap, but it does make her squirt sometimes and she gets all bashful about it. Needless to say, Neve loooves it but manages not to tease her too hard (don't want to spook the kitty too much)

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

They're pretty clean, honestly. But they're also super private, so pretty much their entire sex life and their big feelings feels like a dirty secret (Rana more than Neve, since Rana is more reserved). Like whenever Taash and Harding come to visit, Neve and Rana are both white-knuckled hoping Taash won't be like "sniff sniff was someone eating ass in here 16.5 hours ago? nice" and Harding won't egg them on to talk about their ~love story~

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Both have had fewer partners than you'd think for such hot, interesting people - single digits, most likely. Neither made it a priority, plus Neve is cagey and afraid of intimacy and knows she's a feelings-catcher, and Rana has spent her entire adult life in a homophobic religious organization. They've each had short-term relationships and flings and one-night stands, but mostly they've just powered through romantic loneliness and handled their sexual needs by masturbating, ignoring it, or looking for a hookup. But sex isn't rocket science and they're confident, sensitive, and determined, so they definitely know what they're doing.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

We've got the blessed top-leaning-switch (Neve)/bottom-leaning-switch (Rana) setup. They like to take advantage of every configuration and surface possible, but if they had to pick an all-time favorite: it's gotta be Neve with the strap-on taking Rana from behind. Doggy, side spoons, bent over the desk, Rana's face in the pillows with her braid wrapped around Neve's fist, what have you. It's a lot of body contact, optional eye contact (they can get self-conscious), hits the best spots, satisfies each of their particular I Must Be The Goodest Girl Or Else urges. When Neve wants to receive, straddling Rana's lap is her favorite, riding her fingers or the taking her turn on the strap. Generally, Neve wants to be physically on top whether she's giving or receiving; she can feel too vulnerable or stifled on the bottom. Once she's more comfortable with Rana, she doesn't mind as much - and she comes to love the feeling of bigger, heavier Rana covering her body, making her feel safe - but she still prefers her top positions.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

They're dead serious honestly lol. They do a lot of teasing and ribbing, but "goofy"? Not really. If they're laughing in bed, it's probably because one of them landed a really good dunk on the other.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Neve presents a very tidy image, but she's as good as faking it as she is actually maintaining it. When she's got her head and heart wrapped up in a case, she lets some things fall by the wayside. She'll skip a shower or two, but will always fix her nails as soon as she can. She never skips caring for her skin under her prosthesis, but she sleeps in her makeup as often as not. When she gives herself enough time, she *luxuriates* in the bath. If she feels like shaving (anything), she'll shave and occasionally she does just to mix it up (something she can control, just for herself), but she has sensitive skin and prefers to avoid it to avoid irritation. She trims her pubic hair, but does a shitty job of it such that Rana eventually snaps and takes it over to do it right. Because Rana is Fussy. She is mani-pedi'd, exfoliated, moisturized, perfumed, coiffed, moisturized again, 24/7. A Thedan equivalent to a Tide pen is on her person at all times. She complains endlessly when Neve drags her into the gross catacombs or explodes a Venatori and gets her hair dirty because it fucks up her wash cycle. For her, it's about self-respect and self-control, and even self-expression - she was a Clean Templar, and now she's a clean dick ahaha detective. If there were a strong societal pressure for women to remove their body hair, she probably would since she's not one to defy The Rules willy-nilly, but I can't imagine why that'd be case. She's naturally not very hairy so she doesn't think much about it, but she meticulously trims her pubic hair (and Neve's) because she find it the most comfortable.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

They're weird about it at first as one might expect. They already have the trust, they understand the feelings are there (even if it takes them a long time to explicitly verbalize them); it's just a matter of getting over the awkward this-is-new hump. Fortunately, sex is an opportunity to do, rather than say, so it's faster-going than their feelings-talking. Little ways of caring for one another through touch had already creeped into their habits - checking each other for injuries, scraping the other off the pavement when the battle's over; gradually, touching hands when there's no reason to, gently guiding the other through a narrow alley with a hand on the lower back. So it's just a matter of bringing that to the bedroom. The first kiss on the cheek in the afterglow initially feels a little awkward, more intimate than the literal sex they'd just had. The first time Rana brings Neve a washcloth to freshen up a bit so she doesn't have to get out of bed, she spends the whole night agonizing over how touched she felt by a little gesture. The little things do add up, and it's not too long before they feel more comfortable acting romantic in the bedroom.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

No-nonsense types - get off, get back to it. They never gave themselves the chance to develop a more pleasing routine; Neve tried to avoid being home generally to avoid The Horrors (any of her feelings), and Rana was self-conscious living in the Templar quarters (what if someone heard? smelled it? better get it done and wash up fast).

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

The first thing I'm mentally establishing when I explore a new ship is which one is the armpit sniffer and which one likes anal more, which is sort of like my smut version of astrology. Neve/Rana could really go either way, but ultimately Rana is the sniffer and Neve is the anal enjoyer. Firstly, armpits are next to the boobs and Rana is a boob gal, so there's a primal wire there to be crossed there that extrapolates the eroticism of one to the other (Rana would find this embarrassing which is part of the appeal also). Secondly, scent is intimacy and trust. If Rana awakens with Neve safe and secure in her arms, bathed in that light musk of a long night's sleep in a body-warm bed, would she not want to nuzzle right on in? She would and that's why she's the sniffer. Neve gets anal because even though Rana being too uptight is part of their long-term conflict, it's Neve who's really tortured by her neuroticism (anal-retentiveness, if you will). Anal play is a very commanding sex act that requires patience, care, and relaxing, so can be a big relief for someone so high-strung. Also she has a great ass. It starts with Rana slipping her a finger while going down, and they explore more after Neve finally admits she likes it. Also, Neve also likes using simple restraints on Rana - just commands (hands on the headboard, or she'll stop), her ascot, a shirt. Rana finds submission relaxing, so she's glad to play along even though she's much stronger than Neve and could easily overpower her if she wanted to (this too is kink). She's never let anyone pull her braid before, but once she lets Neve do it once, she can't get enough. Neve's ice and time magic comes into play here and there, of course.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Can't beat the comfort and convenience of the bed, especially since Rana springs for a full-size one when she moves to the Tallow in their quasi-together-quasi-not phase (Neve teases her about this for weeks - planning something, Savas?) and also especially since they tend to overwork themselves and come home too tired and sore to bang on the desk. That said, their desk, and Neve's desk in the Lighthouse, are their second favorite when they're feeling squirrely.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Big brains. The other is never sexier than when she's thinking deeply, processing evidence, tabulating every possibility. And they love how they stand up to everyone else, including each other. Neve's status as a swaggering local menace gets Rana so hot, and she'll let Neve cajole her and push her around a bit, but Neve loves it when Rana turns the tables. They both also love a little rough-housing - a little manhandling, a little wrasslin. They're both tactile and physical.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

They're both a little skittish and rely a lot on the other for emotional support, so anything that plays with that - degradation, name calling, restraining then leaving them alone, etc - doesn't work for them. They're also exposed to enough real violence, and seen each other hurt enough, to not want to simulate anything of the sort in bed - a saucy smack on the ass is one thing, striking the other with an instrument, choking, brandishing knives, and so on is another. Some people can reconcile those experiences, they can't.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Neve initially prefers to give because she finds receiving more vulnerable; if they're scrappin a bit and she winds up riding Rana's face, that's one thing, but just laying back and letting Rana pamper her? It takes a while to warm up to that. But once she does... it helps that Rana really, really loves eating her out. Look at those lips, that jaw... behold her endless dedication, her commitment to a job well done, her fussiness. She's ON it. Rana likes receiving just fine, but it doesn't compare to snuggling down between the soft thighs she loves so much and digging in.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

They lean slower. Not that they don't still love their quickies (they got shit to do) or enjoy throwing the other on the desk and hair-pulling back-scratching ass-smacking capital-F-Fucking, but they live a lot of their life pretty fast, and it's nice to have something more indulgent at home.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Quickies have long been their bread and butter with other people - if they're just hooking up to blow off some steam, they want to get it done and hit the bricks. At the beginning of their relationship, it helps them trick themselves into thinking they're easing in emotionally (fake news). Even later when they're more comfortably established, the quickie remains a part of any workaholic's sexual life. It's sorta a relief that they can now just have sex about it when they get under each other's skin mid-case and get back to it

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Experiment, yes - risks, not really, no. They're by definition curious women, so when one of them gets an idea, the other is probably excited to try it out. Are they the most creative and kinky couple? Probably not, but they find themselves a variety of things to do. But as far as risk goes (getting caught in public? not preparing properly? not using protection when they should?), neither of them is a thrill-seeker like that. They took enough risks thwarting the end of the world, they don't need to get kicks from risking getting arrested over some alleyway ass.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Neve is out there cross-country parkouring all of Northern Thedas without losing her breath, Rana is right behind her. They can fuck as long as they want. They're looking to connect, feel good, and relax, so they take the time they need to achieve that. Sometimes, 30 minutes and a snack after is perfect. Sometimes, it's a marathon session riding the high of a slam-dunk case. Sometimes, it's a languid morning in bed where it's not clear if they actually "had sex" but they're both glowing and full-hearted after it. Whatever they're feeling that day, they have the stamina to do it.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Neve had a single dildo for personal use (she likes the feeling of fullness, even if she isn't always comfortable bottoming), but otherwise, neither of them had toys until they were together. Rana wasn't willing to bring such a thing into the Templar quarters, and also they're both chronically broke. They'd used pretty basic toys (strap-ons, vibrators, maybe simple restraints) with other partners who had them, but otherwise, they're used to using what the Maker gave them. Which for Neve, includes magic. Once they're together, and the city's made it through the aftermath of endgame, Neve goads Rana into attending the grand opening of the city's first non-black-market sex shop (thanks Archon Mae/Dorian!) and they get themselves a few things to start. Neve especially had been dying to get her hands on a strap-on.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Neve LOVES to tease - mostly out of bed. It's a big part of their long-term foreplay. Rana doesn't have enough game to pull off the same kind of teasing, but once they're in bed, she knows how to keep Neve on her toes. Neither of them likes to be strung along for too long, but they give each other a little affectionate shit before giving in.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Both are pretty quiet. Neve can be pretty self-conscious, but we've all heard her kiss-whimpers. She can't help herself. She makes a lot of quiet little sounds - some of them embarrassingly high-pitched, but she can't help it. Rana is a heavy-breather, soft-grunter, quiet-groaner. Rana doesn't talk a lot in bed- little encouraging phrases, quick requests, sure, but she'd feel awkward trying to like, dirty talk. Neve, when she's totally in control, has that part down pat, purring and growling.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Neve's first kiss, first girlfriend, and first time were all with the Little Oil Lamp Girl. They were latter teens, and that girl was the only thing that felt like it made sense as Neve's whole world was changing around her. It didn't burn forever - maybe that was her fault, the cynicism seeping in then, but it sure was nice while it lasted. Rana's first kiss and first time were with a guy she tried to like to please her parents. He was her friend and a nice kid, just proof she'd never measure up to the expectations, so it's a bittersweet memory. She ran away to join the Templars shortly after.

If Minrathous had a The Cart, they'd have at least 3 connections they didn't know about, one of which is definitely the Sexy Bartender From The Prologue.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Even though we only get a tiny glimpse of it, Neve's body in-game is perfect for her IMO. She's dainty, but not too thin or frail-looking. She's got a bit of muscle (her arms!), but you know she's no gym rat and she mostly eats fried fish so of course she doesn't look like an Olympic gymnast. Her belly and thighs look SO!! soft and pettable. Her model doesn't quite do her supposed height justice (around 5'8"), although some gifs of her stradding Rook capture that vibe very sexily and her hourglass figure is poppin. Her thighs and ass are A+++ Rana's a little taller; she's as tall as the "100" height for a human feminine body, so I'm guessing around 6 feet tall. Hot! She was maybe lightly retconned from a warrior in Tevinter Nights to a rogue in Veilguard, so that throws off my original body headcanon a bit (but that was just based on her description of wielding a sword and wearing heavy armor - and the Veilguard rogue does use a sword, so maybe she's been a rogue all along). She's beefier than Neve, but still pretty willowy, like a track and field athlete. Her arms and back are well-defined and being a good swordswoman comes with a juicy ass.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Pretty average? They've been emotionally entangled for so long before actually getting together that they don't have a big must-fuck-at-every-opportunity honeymoon period. While they're busting ass helping rebuild Minrathous or stuck on a big case that hangs over their minds, they have sex less - they might skip a week or two and prioritize non-sexual intimacy and touch when they can find a few quiet hours together. When they have less on their minds and things settle down, they go with the flow. It might be twice a day, every night, every other, twice a week. So it goes.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

They're sleep-deprived workaholics, so once those good good afterglow hormones hit the bloodstream, they both knock out pretty quickly. Sometimes basically still in position, resulting in some pleasant or not soreness the next day. If they're going to bed, Rana at least still wants to do her nighttime routine, so she can stay awake long enough for that.

[capquinn]

Does Quinn go overboard and spoil the kids with giant presents for Christmas? I know they probably will always have more than the average kid for everything but he seems very levelheaded and doesn’t want to raise his kids in a mindset of getting anything and everything they want just because their dad is Quinn.

Nah I don't think he would. Quinn strikes me as the kind of dad who’d be thoughtful and intentional about the way he approaches Christmas — and parenting in general, honestly.

He’d never want his kids to grow up with the mindset that they can have everything just because they're able to. He’d make sure they understand the value of what they have, the meaning behind the holidays, and the joy of giving as much as receiving.

Sure, there’d be the fun, flashy toys they’d been talking about for months — the Bluey playhouse Bug wouldn’t stop mentioning or the Paw Patrol set Cub kept pointing to in commercials — but there’d always be a layer of thoughtfulness underneath.

The bigger gifts would have purpose beyond just the joy of unwrapping. Things like a soccer net for the backyard, something that would get them outside as a family on sunny afternoons, or maybe new skates so they could practice gliding across the ice together. It wouldn’t just be about stuff but about creating moments. The kind that turn into memories.

Even the smaller gifts would have meaning. A new set of paints and brushes for Bug, who’d been fascinated by colours lately, or blocks for Cub to stack and tumble over as he giggles at his little triumphs. Every gift, big or small, would be tied to what makes his kids light up, encouraging their interests, creativity, and, most importantly, time spent together.

Because for Quinn, it’s not just about giving his kids everything they want. It’s about teaching them the joy of shared experiences, of giving thoughtfully, and of appreciating the moments that come with each gift — whether it’s their giggles during a backyard soccer game, Bug’s serious little face as she paints, or Cub’s excitement as he crawls around the inside of the soccer net after the ball. For him, those are the true gifts.

And when they’re old enough, he’d absolutely instill the act of giving back. Every December, he’d encourage the kids to go through their old toys, explaining how there are children who might not have as much as they do. It wouldn’t be a chore but more of a tradition, one that builds empathy and kindness.

He’d make it feel special, not like giving something up but like sharing something wonderful. Bug would sit cross-legged on her bedroom floor, surrounded by stacks of toys she’s outgrown, while Cub sits nearby, babbling curiously at the scene.

Quinn crouches beside them, his tone gentle and encouraging. “This one could make another kid really happy,” he’d say, holding up a well-loved doll, his warm smile reassuring Bug as she carefully considers.

Bug nods after a moment, placing the doll into the donation box with the careful determination of a little girl who’s taking her job very seriously. Cubby, always eager to mimic his big sister, babbles excitedly and reaches for a toy car to drop in, though it’s not quite one for the box yet.

“It’s like sharing Christmas magic,” Quinn adds, ruffling Cubby’s soft hair as Bug beams at his words.

When the box is full, he’d scoop Cub up and take Bug by the hand, letting them come along to drop it off at the second hand toy drive.

He's just the type of dad who always gives his kids a magical holiday while keeping their feet firmly planted on the ground, and honestly? It’s impossible not to love him even more for it.

[roscoehamiltons]

the actual 2025 grid:

red bull: max verstappen, liam lawson

mercedes: george russell, kimi antonelli

ferrari: lewis hamilton, charles leclerc

mclaren: lando norris, oscar piastri

aston martin: fernando alonso, lance stroll

alpine: pierre gasly, jack doohan

williams: alex albon, carlos sainz jr

visa cash grab: yuki tsunoda, isack hadjar

sauber: nico hulkenberg, gabriel bortoleto

haas: esteban ocon, ollie bearman

some babbling about how my predictions went (very poorly) under the cut

red bull: well. I did correctly predict that checo would be gone by the end of the year but I was indeed a bit delulu to think that daniel would be able to make his return to red bull…

if you’re wondering why I didn’t predict yuki would get the seat— I think if they wanted him in the red bull seat, it would’ve happened last year…. and like I said in the initial prediction, I think it’s in yuki’s best interest to leave red bull entirely lol.

mercedes: I completely forgot that I predicted Fernando would go to merc lol 😭 this was definjtely the most delulu fantasy prediction of mine… idk Fernando and George is such an odd and fascinating pairing to me (I know they’re friends but my mind can’t compute them interacting with each other… like what do they even talk about when they’re together aside from lewis idk) so I would’ve loved to dissect their every interaction and any shenanigans that would’ve ensued if they were actually teammates… maybe in another universe… or fanfic…

ferrari: can’t wait to see lewis in red 😁

mclaren: really interested to see how lando and oscar’s dynamic will evolve next year

aston martin: at the time I thought that aston would be the best way for yuki to get out of the red bull family, and idk maybe it will happen in a couple years once honda joins them…

alpine: rip pierresteban lol but honestly good for este for leaving

williams: I think carlos going to williams is the most shocking thing to happen this silly season, aside from lewis going to ferrari… even though I understand the decision, I still would have loved to have seen valtteri in williams, if only to have him still remain on the grid…

visa cash grab: hashtag justice4yuki!! also idk why I thought that checo would be on the junior team if he got demoted lol but I think it was more that I couldn’t think of any juniors at the time..

sauber: unfortunately my prediction about both valtteri and guanyu losing their seats was correct 😔 this was the one I would’ve been happy to get wrong…

haas: and unfortunately my guy kevin did not remain at haas womp womp.. but I do think esteban and ollie is a fun pairing to watch for next year

Silly Season 2024 Predictions

aka predicting how the grid will look for 2025:

red bull: max verstappen, daniel ricciardo

mercedes: george russell, fernando alonso (or alex albon, if fernando remains at aston martin)

ferrari: lewis hamilton(!!!), charles leclerc

mclaren: lando norris, oscar piastri

aston martin: lance stroll, yuki tsunoda (or fernando alonso, if he doesn't go to mercedes)

alpine: esteban ocon, pierre gasly

williams: kimi antonelli, alex albon (or valtteri bottas, if alex goes to mercedes)

visa cash grab rb: liam lawson, sergio perez (or yuki tsunoda, if he doesn't go to aston martin)

sauber: carlos sainz jr, nico hulkenberg

haas: ollie bearman, kevin magnussen (or zhou guanyu, if kevin retires)

thoughts, explanations (and a lot of babbling) under the cut:

red bull: maybe i'm delulu for thinking daniel to red bull will still happen lol but it makes perfect sense on paper-- daniel's already familiar with the team and works well with them, he has support from the higher ups, he's a marketing dream, he has a similar driving style and preference to max...

also i know there have been rumours about alex going to red bull again but i don't think he'll do it in the end.

mercedes: i want it to be fernando that replaces lewis bc it would bring the most chaos and drama lol, but it's also a decision that actually makes sense? swapping a world champion with another world champion, and one that isn't likely to want to stay long term (5-10 years)? i guess this is dependent on how both mercedes and aston do this year but 🙏 pls make it happen lol

alex is my second choice for the seat if fernando doesn’t take it. i started making my predictions before james confirmed that alex was signed to williams for 2025, but even with that news, i still think it's a possibility he could go to mercedes. there's been so many whispers in the press about alex wanting to either leave williams or getting offers from top teams, that i can't help but think that alex is trying to gun for a top seat.. and mercedes is his best choice for a top seat imo. not to mention that james did say that he wouldn't stop alex from leaving if he wanted to, and of course the ties with mercedes that james and williams have... it would be easy for them to do some negotiations and make it happen. also i'm sure that george would put in a good word for alex, if alex was interested.

also some honourable mentions, because there's a lot of possibilities to consider: everyone is talking about kimi antonelli and mercedes and i do think that they're going to try and push him into f1 as soon as they can.. i just don't know if they'll take the risk of putting him in the merc seat right away. i'm really interested to see how he does in f2 either way-- if he's as good as everyone says then the results will speak for themselves. i think esteban is a good option too; he's a solid driver (and underrated imo), and more importantly he has ties to merc and toto. if merc wants a more short term option then carlos is a good choice, though it's more likely he would go to sauber. as for mick, i don't think that he's merc's first (or even second or third) choice for the seat, unfortunately for him and the mick girlies. lastly, this one is a bit random but nico hulkenberg also came to mind as a solid short term option (plus, he's german).

ferrari: still can’t believe lewis is going to be driving for them.

mclaren: no notes, very solid pairing.

aston martin: i think the lineup will stay the same if fernando doesn’t want to move to mercedes. i suppose there’s a chance that the rumours about lance going to wec could be true but we will see.

if fernando does go to mercedes then yuki is probably the most obvious choice as his replacement. i also think it’s in yuki's best interest in the long term to leave the red bull family, and this would probably be the best opportunity to do so.

i was actually initially considering checo as the driver to replace fernando — they have history after all, and checo seems to love the team. however, thinking about it, 2023 really took a hit to his reputation as a driver and I don’t know if aston would want him back anyways? i think checo would absolutely reach out to them though if the seat opens up, i think he’s going to try and stay on the grid if it's possible.

alpine: i think both will stay, but if one was to leave it would probably be este (to mercedes?) rather than pierre. if he were to go then jack doohan would be the likely replacement, maybe victor martins if his results in f2 are good.

williams: like i said earlier, i think mercedes is going to try and get kimi into f1 asap, even if he doesn't win f2, and aside from merc itself, williams is the most likely option for that to happen. alex will stay if he doesn’t get the mercedes seat—the supposed red bull offer doesn't start until 2026 and i don’t think he would break his contract to go to aston or alpine.

as for who would replace alex if he does go to mercedes, i would love for it to be valtteri. i stole this idea from @velvetsainz actually, but the more i think about it, the more i like it... the idea of valtteri and james on the same team again tickles me and valtteri is a fantastic mentor (as evidenced by his relationship with guanyu). also i'm fairly certain that toto is back on valtteri's management team again so i can see toto mentioning valtteri as an option for williams in their negotations for the hypothetical alex to mercedes move. is this likely this is to happen, idk, because valtteri did pick sauber over williams in 2021 for a reason but a girl can dream lol

visa cash grab rb: this one was the one i probably struggled with the most ngl.. i think liam is definitely going to be in f1 in 2025 (and deservedly so) but the question of who's going to be in the other seat.. the three main options would be yuki, checo and daniel (if daniel remains at visa instead of moving up, either checo stays at red bull or yuki is the one getting promoted). i originally had the lineup as yuki and liam (and checo at aston martin) but ended up switching yuki and checo around in the end. if checo does end up retiring at the end of this year and yuki goes off to aston then i'm not sure who would replace him..maybe ayumu iwasa? i looked at their list of juniors and am not really familiar with anyone besides him tbh

sauber: this one pains me because i'm a huge fan of both valtteri and guanyu, and they're actually my favorite pairing, in terms of overall vibes and personality... but i would be (very pleasantly) surprised if they both manage to stay at sauber next year. i think it's a given that carlos is going to go to sauber now that he isn't with ferrari, especially with his ties his dad has to audi. i also think sauber/audi would want to start preparing for 2026 and they would also want a german driver to drive for them, hence nico hulkenberg (plus the rumours that they were interested in hulkenberg last year, but ended up renewing guanyu instead).

there's a chance that one of the current drivers could stay, which in that case it would likely be valtteri (with carlos as his teammate, rather than nico). they could also promote theo pourchaire to f1, but i think it's likely they would stick to established drivers, especially during the first couple of years that audi settle in.

haas: the new haas tp has spoken very highly of ollie and with the amount of free practice sessions they have scheduled for ollie this year, it wouldn't surprise me if they're trying to get him on the grid. i know some people think that kevin might retire after this year, but i think they would like to keep one of the current drivers since the last time they had two new drivers didn't go well 😬. on the chance that kevin does end up retiring, i think guanyu is a good shout for a replacement. it might seem a bit random but he's a consistent driver who rarely crashes and more importantly, brings a lot of money and sponsorship, which haas needs.

[lunarrolls]

i’m gonna be a little incoherent here but i just wanna say. i’m actually really really proud of fcg for standing up for himself in this last episode. he is the sole truly godly faithful character among the hells and it was so exhilarating to see him actually stand his ground on his faith. i may not fully agree with him at all but i’m like YES. YOU GO YOU LITTLE ROBIT. YOU’RE BELIEVING IN SOMETHING!! it was honestly a wonderful little parallel to ashton’s development, and might have even been sparked by seeing that change—they were assured by ashton that even though the hells might argue or disagree, they’re always going to be family, and then later, fcg remembers that and disagrees with them rather than simply bottling their opinion and passive-aggressively bringing it up every now and then. it made me really happy. slowly, they’re getting better at this, and i’m so proud <3

[thatstoomanysausages]

There are people that have said that the crazy themes of the wild cards are preventing progress and lore storytelling, and I get you, but consider: whimsy and fun✨

Like yes, there’s less flow and progress cause they’re all exploring and trying not to die from crazy mods. However, creative freedom like this can make for some intense lore deaths that can be overanalysed and interpreted. Fuck your angsty narrative, these fuckers are high on acid 24/7 and they’re enjoying it after 5 1/2 seasons of stress and edgy lore.

I honestly do see the point, and the people who are politely saying it are valid, but this feels a little like the lucky block videos you’d see on Stampy, DanTDM, and PopularMMOs’ channels back in the day. I’m just enjoying the chaos and perhaps with less of a storyline, certain people will feel less inclined to convert to the bitter wants for certain duos to not team ‘as often’.👀👀

2am thoughts are hitting rn, thanks for the Halloween boops everyone❤️

[synthwayve]

Thinks about Micolash and Laurence’s rivalry that never strays from the confines of academic snark or the occasional jab despite their shared ambition(and possibly also just accompanying a general friendship they could have had since they worked together at some point. Idk I’m a softie. Sue me.) eventually involving into a full on intellectual divorce. Cries. Explodes. 72 casualties.

[insomniac-dormouse]

FUCK MAN THE ONE PIECE LIVE ACTION IS SO GOOD WTF

I NEVER THOUGHT I’D SAY THAT SHIT ABOUT A LIVE ACTION BUT HOLY SHIT

I LOVE THIS VERSION

ITS SO GOOD

[teamfortresstwo]

tbh I think Minthe and Hades was the most interesting dynamic in LO

[barfsimpsons]

Not me going “im never attracted to anyone” lol this friend group has me in a boring mfer choke hold actually and not boring by behavior but boring by interest and appearance. And ive converted. Time to bleach my eyebrows or something

[starbuck]

look, i know that i AM earning a real degree here and everything, but also the amount of discussion posts i do whose prompts are just “go to this website to learn a fact. restate the fact you learned. does that SURPRISE you????”

[toastedsmoreo]

not to be negative on main but jjk is pissing me off, man

[sunnibits]

*insert that one office meme* making ocs is so cool, I’d love to know literally anything about them some day :)

[planet4546b]

for being extremely pretentious about video games i do actually really like tlou. and i kind of think parts of tlou2 are phenomenal. and i will behonest this show is compelling so far 🤨

[hannahhasafact]

Getting another wave of “maybe having a mcmenamins passport could be fun…” but then remembering that I would have to eat a lot of mcmenamins food and like… eh

[digitaldiseas3]

i borderline hate redbull tbh that’s my unpopular energy drink opinion