#they’re scary I don’t wanna explore them anymore

[ijustreblogstuff-i-like]

Thank you for carrying me though the chalice dungeons and keeping me company

[marimo-o]

ok so im making a long ass post about Abzu (the game) within the context of mesopotamian mythology because I'm insane. It's gonna be a doozy and likely incomprehensible so <3 below the cut it goes! There's gonna be TONS of spoilers for the game, and, like, I guess for the mesopotamian creation epic, so. Play Abzu if you haven't and if you wanna read the Enuma Elish that's also cool. Good for u

(a note from afterwards: it's long. like, REALLY fucking long, holy shit. if you actually want to read the whole thing, be. prepared or something idk take breaks! the last two paragraphs (i know they're walls of text pls bear with me) contain most of the important information. like, the final hurrah of my brain after working on this for multiple hours! So if u wanna save time and avoid some of the redundancy, just skip to those last two <3)

So "Abzu" referred to two things; the fresh water people got from underground aquifers (also as the void-sea which was underneath the Sumerian underworld, Kur), and the deity; he only appeared in the creation story, Enuma Elish, because a big part of that whole thing was that oh no! He dies! And that's also a thing I'm gonna touch on (sorry about the lack of accent marks in advance, it's not available on my current keyboard^ ^;)

I'm gonna start off with a brief tale of what happened with Abzu the deity, and then move onto how both the deity and the concept relate to the game!

So like I mentioned, Abzu the deity only really appears in the creation myth. The story goes that the Primordial Soup divided into two beings, with Abzu representing the freshwater and Tiamat being the saltwater. They were married, and together birthed some of the first formative gods! Some of these gods, jealous of Abzu's power convinced Tiamat to kill him (or, I thought it was started by Tiamat growing resentful of the younger gods, one of those). Either way, Abzu was killed, and Tiamat ended up lashing out, creating the first "dragons", or perhaps becoming one herself; with "poison instead of blood". She is killed by Marduk, the god of storms and the child of Enki (one of the first gods created by Abzu and Tiamat), and from her body the heavens and the earth are formed. Imagine getting killed by ur grandson lol cringe /j

Now! The waters itself! This also brings Enki into the equation, who kinda took over as god of the waters in place of his dead father. He's also the god of creation, intelligence, crafts, mischief, and more! Very important guy.

Abzu refers to both the groundwater reservoirs that people depended on for both accessible clean water and for some agricultural work, and also to the void-sea beneath the underworld, where it is said that Enki rests. He had a temple at Eridu, a now-ruined city, and I remember hearing somewhere that he lived in a temple in an underground aquifer? But I can't find wherever I read that anymore so don't take my word for it. Anyway, the basics of Enki as a deity is: child of Tiamat and Abzu, widely worshipped in his time, god of the waters, generally a cool and important dude.

And now. Finally. We move onto the game. My head hurts.

So, for a quick (post-writing: lol it's not quick) overview of the game; you play as a funny little diver, who woke up in the middle of the ocean and, as the player, are given no clues as to who or what you are. You explore through the ocean levels peacefully at first, and with the guidance of a scarred shark (painted as a bit of an antagonist at first with the audio cues) you make your way to wells at the bottom-center of each level that revitalize the space around them; as they progress, many levels start out as barren, empty landscapes that give you a foreboding, nervous feeling going in, before using an energy from yourself to rekindle the life. Huge coral growths, seaweed, and a myriad of ocean animals spring to life. The player character can also ride on the sides of the bigger ones! The game also puts a big stress on unity between yourself and the environment; there's not a whole lot you can physically interact with, but you can play with the animals there and, like I said before, ride on some of the larger animals. There are also "meditation spots", statues where you can sit and explore the wildlife from more of their point of view, able to follow them seamlessly and see what the different kinds of fish and such are called. It's a calming experience, and really the most interaction you get with some of the more timid animals, letting you still see them up close even if you can't get there as the player character.

The story of the game is told via writings on the walls, which you can light up and access by solving small puzzles regarding connecting reservoirs of glowing waters, similar to that of the almost cosmic area you go to between levels; one thing I read described it as a kind of "rebirth area", which I can definitely see hehe!

At the end of the game, you've held the shark in its dying moments, you've discovered a strange factory that builds the weird triangular prisms that deliver anything that touches them a shock, the little flashlight dudes that you've found over the levels, and little divers that uncannily resemble yourself, and you've seen yourself disassembled to your funny little mechanical skeleton, weak and slow as you try to walk on land, before you are rebirthed from the void-cosmic-water area once again, fully yourself. There's a wonderful ending sequence where you swim through all these rivers, bringing life with you as you go, with the shark once again by your side. The whole game, you saw no land when you poked your head above water, just miles and miles of water, but you've travelled far enough to reach a reservoir. You cut the chains to a central triangular prism, and it grows over with moss. It gives me goosebumps just thinking about it, really, it feels like such a... grand gesture as you play through it. It feels personal.

Okay. Theory time. Finally, we're getting into the meat of it. Fucking hell.

So, imagine that you are this being. You're wandering an oceanic wonderland, observing and caring for what you need to, doing as any good little diver should. After a bit of poking around, you discover the start of the engravings on the walls; they tell the story of the people that were here before you, who built these temples and halls and used, or at least stored, the strange blue glowing "water" that you connect and move. It's a water of life, of sorts, one that they truly valued. You come to an impasse between areas, and this massive, scarred-up shark cuts in front of you. You're gonna stay hidden, that thing is terrifying! You try not to move. It doesn't spot you, or at least doesn't move to attack you. However, once it's safely out of view, you do follow it, and it leads you to a dark, desolate, empty chamber. This is wrong, you think to yourself. This isn't how it should be. There's a well, towards the bottom, and you approach it, taking... a fragment of light, from your chest, and imbuing that spark of life into the well. And, lo and behold, that intuition proved helpful, because the world around you springs back to life. Congratulations! You did it! And you continue to, as you work past puzzles and challenges and the appearance of these strange triangular mechanisms, that shock you when you get too close. These people worshipped a shark, as well, likely the same as the one you saw; the guide, now old and scarred, that brings you to where that spark is needed. Even later in the game, you see depictions of the triangular mechanisms, at first heralded as a positive, before these things are found to be the reason for this society's collapse. As if that wasn't perplexing enough, you see a depiction of a being that appears suspiciously similar to yourself, once again treated with reverence from the past civilization. In their hand is a ball of light, similar to the one shown when you revitalize the oceanic chambers. Well, that's certainly odd, you think to yourself. Perhaps this was a being that postponed the death of the civilization, or first allowed for those small chambers of life to exist in captivity instead of the open, natural landscapes you explored at the start. Regardless, it's now a relic of something long gone; but it still gives you something to think about. Later on, that strange coincidence of your similarities to that person are explained; you find a manufacturing plant, full of the vicious triangular mechanisms in each tight hallway, and right at the center of it all... multiple iterations of yourself, running down an assembly line, a spark not unlike what you saw before imbued into each of them. My, look at that; you've been responsible for part of this destruction all along, haven't you? Borne from that same ill that has been forcibly removing that spark from each of the places you've gone to. A bit inconsiderate of you, no? And yet... look at all the good you've done. You've rebirthed, revitalized, purified these ocean fragments, is that not enough? You are the keeper of these waters, regardless of the evil you had come from, despite the terrifying empty things may have reverted to. You, who trusted and followed the shark that seemed so scary at first. You, who followed it as it tried to attack a source of the evil, of the thing that was draining the oceans of their life. You, who held and comforted that shark as it lay dying, despite any fear you may have had. You, who attempted to traverse a minefield of those triangular machines, shocked over and over again and at the final moment, unable to make it to the finish line. You, who was rebirthed in full regardless by the oceans you'd cared for, by the void-sea you always returned to, to rest. You, who traversed a now-ruined citadel, temple, all of which had been flooded and had been dedicated to you. You, who brought life with you.

I hope you see what I'm getting at here. You're serving as a figure not unlike Enki, god and guardian of the waters. In the wake of Abzu, the avatar of the fresh waters, now confined to irrigation canals so as not to kill the younger gods, Tiamat lashes out. Her husband is dead, as far as she is concerned, and she goes to those younger gods to seek her revenge. The dragon, that which sucked the life from the seas and poisoned the waters. That which Marduk killed, to carve new life from. I would say that the shark is Marduk, even; given how the shark is the only one who is openly on the offense to those mechanisms, and who comes in at the endgame to finish them off, bringing new life with it. Even in how it all shapes up with the civilization before, in connection to the constructs; Tiamat was the mother of all in existence at that time. She was surely loved; but she turned hostile and violent. She could no longer be safely loved. And Abzu, both the glowing water we use to open doors and the light that we hold and the deep void-sea we enter between levels and father to all in existence, he was confined to small canals and reservoirs and put in a deep sleep so that he would not kill his own children. And by you, no less. Enki put him there. That is why you can use that water from the start; you lived in the Abzu, you came from it, and each time, that is where you return. That temple, now submerged and decrepit, is Eridu; the place where Enki was most worshipped. The other diver clones are the other gods, or perhaps the "dragons", now, that Tiamat had mothered. The smaller prisms definitely count in that "dragon" category; purely harmful beings that seek to destroy life. And in the end, indeed, you restore life; you and your son, upon killing Tiamat, return life to the world from her body. Perhaps you could not save those who once worshipped you, perhaps those structures will forever be in ruin. But there is no more danger, now; there is space to build and replenish. There is space to grow.

Fuck ok that was long as hell. Hi if u made it this far i love u. god fucking damn im never writing anything again after this. it took about as long as a full playthrough of the game, coincidentally!!

[beomglocks]

unlikely allies ; txt x reader

part: two ,,,, next chapter / previous chapter

plot: when a zombie apocalypse breaks out in your town, you’re forced to team up with a group of boys from very different social standards in your school.

genre: fluff, angst, horror i guess?, not really that scary but alright, some funny moments

w/c: 4.2K (was in a writing mood)

warnings: blood, gruesome scenes (kind of really detailed), cursing, everyone hates each other, definitely some major injuries, zombies duh, everyone kinda pining for mc

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"we're alive, you're alive, it's gonna be ok."

usually, when people say those words, everything ends up going completely wrong. the phrase gets jinked and turned over on its head making the situation worse. in your case, that didn't happen. if anything the situation got better somehow.

"after we met in the hall i headed to the gym to get the bat you suggested," beomgyu explains softly. you and him were seated on one of the benches in the locker room.

after what happened earlier with the zombie, you distanced yourself from yeonjun and taehyun who were currently exploring the locker room for other resources. luckily, none of the other zombies outside knew you all were in here so it was safe to say you were in the clear for now.

"actually if it wasn't for you, i'd probably be dead," he laughs looking down at his hands. you noticed there was a lot of blood on them but didn't bother to ask where it came from. after all, you all seemed to be in the middle of a zombie apocalypse. "i could say the same," you chuckle. you honestly don't have to energy to talk but you figure a new face to converse with who isn't someone you despise is nice.

"no but really," he suddenly turns serious. "if it wasn't for you, i would've never gone to the gym in the first place. i probably would've been turned into one of those monsters while in the hallway, unsuspecting." you don't argue with him. if he thinks you saved his life then so be it. "i'm grateful seriously," he mentions softly. you look up at him bewildered, "you're grateful? if anything i'm the one who should be grateful," you laugh a genuine laugh this time hoping to lift the gloomy mood. "if it wasn't for you i would be the living dead right now," you smile bitterly.

you can feel him staring at you but you don't look at him. you don't want this conversation to turn into a battle of who saved who and thankfully he doesn't continue it.

"uh i-i think just last week we were working on a lab together," he scratches the back of his head nervously. you lean back on the bench, "oh yeah, i remember. wow it's crazy how things can change so drastically in a matter of days." you look around the locker room in thought, "i wonder what happened to everyone else, i mean how can something like this happen?" you continue.

he sighs, "i really don't know...like i said, i headed to the gym after we saw each other. everything seemed normal. i was in the batting room looking for a metal bat then i hear the locker room door burst open. i figured the baseball team was about to start practice so i walked out while trying to hide the bat under my shirt." he looks at you sheepishly as you laugh at his attempt at stealing. "well one of the members of the team was in the corner of the locker room just scratching his arm like crazy! i'm talking deep wounds with blood dri-" you cut him off, grimacing. "r-right well, i asked him what happened and all he told me was not to go out there. i was confused so i look into the gym and see people eating each other than coming back to life and doing the same to others."

he closes his eyes but winces as if remembering a bad memory, "it was crazy, i was so starstruck that i didn't even realize the guy from before had already turned. it's a good thing i heard him making those weird noises or else i would've turned too. unfortunately, i had to kill him using the bat." your eyes fall on the bruised and bloody bat by his side. it must've taken beomgyu a lot of hits to figure out where exactly to aim to kill. "how did that other one that attacked me get in?" you ask.

"well apparently the one that attacked me wasn't the only one to come in earlier. he must've been hiding or something," beomgyu sighs, looking at you again. "look y/n, im really glad yo-"

"we didn't find anything useful other than the bats and some paddings," yeonjun strolls into the main locker room with taehyun looking dejected behind him. you glance at them then look back at the ground. you're not sure why you're angry at them, it's not like they could've done anything at the moment. suddenly the sad realization hits you: yeonjun is a self-centered asshole who doesn't care about anyone and taehyun barely knows you so why would he risk his life.

beomgyu mutters something silently to himself but you don't hear it. "so what are we gonna do now? we can't just stay here forever," yeonjun sits on the bench opposite of yours with his arms perched on his knees. you stay silent, not really wanting to talk anymore. beomgyu ruffles his hair, "let's see... we have bats and the baseball teams protective gear somewhere around here but I don't think going around killing all the zombies in that gym is a good idea. we will definitely not make it out alive."

taehyun sighs angrily, "damn it, we can't just stay here. we're bound to get hungry or worse; wanna use the bathroom. we need to find a way out to find more people. i still believe we're better in numbers." he notices you haven't pitched any ideas yet so he looks at you expectingly.

when you don't answer, yeonjun groans, "cmon y/n how long are you gonna keep acting like this?" you look up and see he's looking at you with a bored expression. "look sorry we couldn't help or whatever but honestly what did you expect us to do? no offense but you're acting like a child." you don't wanna give him the satisfaction of knowing that what he said got to you so you bite your lip and glance at the ground.

"yeonjun when you put 'no offense' in front of an offensive statement it doesn't make it any less offensive,” beomgyu rolls his eyes. "plus, they almost died. do you really not have any empathy oh wait i forgot you're a selfish jackass who probably wouldn't think twice about throwing us to the wolves." in all the time you've known choi beomgyu, which is a couple of months roughly, you don't think he's ever stood up for himself or others for that matter.

"beomgyu," you warn silently. you guys already have enough problems as it is, you don't need a fight breaking out. "oh look who's getting bold," yeonjun chides. "you save one person and suddenly you're the hero of the story," he rolls his eyes. "news flash, y/n doesn't like you."

beomgyu's eyes widen and you see his ears turn red. "shut up yeonjun," he says through gritted teeth. "oh yeah y/n by the way beomgyu has an embarrassingly massive cru-" before yeonjun can finish his sentence he's on the floor with beomgyu on top of him.

"guys!" taehyun shouts. he wanted to break up the fight before the zombies outside were alerted. none of the boys on the floor were listening though and you had a huge wave of deja vu hit you.

unfortunately, this wasn't like the last fight you witnessed because yeonjun was far stronger than his opponent this time. although beomgyu had the advantage of throwing the first punch, yeonjun had the advantage of actually being able to fight. "y/n doesn't like you! they'll never like you no matter what you do!" yeonjun shouts in between punches. "fuck you!" beomgyu retorts, trying to shield himself. you see taehyun conflicted on whether or not he should break up the fight since his wrist is still damaged.

"guys stop!" at this point, both boys are in a blind rage. both shouting at each other and throwing wild punches. you all hadn't heard the banging on the locker room door. until it was too much to handle. the lock was busted open in a flash causing all of you to whip your heads towards the door.

the force of all the zombie's dog piling on the door after hearing the commotion of the living on the other side must've been too much for the door to handle. "run run RUN!" taehyun grabs you and bolts towards the second doors of the locker room leading towards the girl's side. you didn't even have time to look back and see if yeonjun and beomgyu had time to get off the floor and run because before you know it you're in the hallway again.

"we have to get to the first room we see," taehyun pants. you both run past all the strangler zombies in the hallway and you're glad taehyun takes the brunt of the force. since he's the one that picked up some of the equipment his arms are paddled so it's fairly easy to take some force from the zombies jumping at a chance to bite him. you run close behind him grasping his hand tighter than you'd ever held anything.

you suddenly remember all the times you'd scream at a character in a horror movie when they trip and fall. sympathy rushes through you because it definitely wasn't easy.

"in here!" taehyun rushes towards the nearest room and barges through it. it took a bit of force since there seemed to be stuff blocking it from the inside but you both managed to get through it before the horde caught you. as soon as you get in the room you heave for air, you'd seriously never run that fast in your life. you turn around towards the now-closed door and to your dismay, beomgyu and yeonjun are not there.

"damn it we got split up," you mumble through deep breaths. you sincerely hope they're both ok. you turn back around but before you could get a chance to discuss with taehyun you see he has his hands up in surrender. "wha-" that's when you hear a gun click.

your eyes widen when you see soobin appear from the shadows of the room with a gun in his hands. that's when you realize where you are, the principal's office.

"soobin!" you're confused as to why he has a gun pointed towards you guys but you're glad he's alive. "get any closer and you'll end up like the principal," soobin spits. you finally look towards the floor where the principal's desk is located and see what looks like a body but it's unmoving.

"oh my god," you mumble. "dude what the hell," taehyun steps forward and soobin turns the gun towards him. "get away from me! i don't know if you're infected or not!" you're very worried because soobin looks like he's not mentally capable of wielding a gun at this moment.

you finally survey him and the room. his hair is an absolute mess and he has more blood on his face and body then you remember. his clothes look pretty normal except for the scratches and blood on them. they didn't seem to go that deep just enough to rip his clothes. the room on the other hand was a total mess. the bookshelf was on the floor and the chair in front of the principal's desk was flipped over, there were books all over the floor and the couch that was used for lounging was turned upside down. that's probably what was blocking the door.

"soobin," you warn. he points the gun at you. "we're not infected." you hope you sound calm. you don't want to give him a reason to think you're a zombie. "there's no way," he mumbles. "everyone's dead! there's no way you guys made it out alive."

"it's true!" taehyun encourages. "yeonjun, beomgyu, y/n and i are alive from what we know." soobin eyes you both, "where are they then?" you sigh dejectedly, "we got split up."

"look, we promise we're not infected! we haven't gotten bit or scratched or anything, please put the gun down," you step closer to him and when he doesn't wave it at you you grab it from him and throw it on the floor.

soobin steps back towards the wall and sinks down to the floor holding his head in his hands. "damn it! i hate this!" he mumbles. "what the hell happened in here?" taehyun asks. he walks towards the principal's body and cringes.

soobin sighs, "he was already one of those monsters when i got here, it was a struggle trying not to get eaten but i found a gun hidden under the desk. i guess it's a gun meant for self defense so that's what i used it for." you look down, processing his words. he was in here alone with a zombie. you're amazed at his ability to stay alive in such a tight situation.

"do you have any wounds, we have a first aid kit," you motion towards the bag on taehyun's back. he gives you a grateful smile, "thanks." you take the bag from taehyun while he watches you closely. he feels weird but he can't explain it. he doesn't want to watch you patch soobin up but he doesn't say it out loud. he decides to busy himself with looking around mindlessly instead of thinking about that.

in the meantime, you kneel down to help soobin. he watches you take out everything from the first aid kit. "sorry," he bites his lip. you chuckle dryly. this is one of those times when soobin looks and acts soft. you've only interacted with him a couple of times before with the extracurricular activities and fundraisers your school held. you knew he could be nice when he wanted to, he just got into fights a lot.

seeing him up close made you realize why so many people in your school fawned over him. he had looks that could rival yeonjun's. the only thing differentiating them was that soobin was actually kind of nice. "it's fine, you were scared," you say softly. instead of responding he opts for watching you silently. he's seen you around school and during the fundraisers and whatnot but never thought much about it. were you always this cute? sure, you had remnants of blood on your face but it didn't seem to take away from your looks.

he shakes his head at the thought. he shouldn't be thinking that about you, he barely knows anything about you other than your name and that you were seemingly willing to go out your way to help people. you give him a confused face and he just looks down at the ground. you cant tell what he's thinking and don't really dwell on it. you wet the cotton ball in your hand with alcohol, "this might sting." he doesn't say anything seemingly lost in his thoughts.

"god, why are these boys so weird towards you," you think to yourself. you gently dab the cotton ball on the cut on his face and he flinches violently. his hand flies up to grab your wrist and he looks at you with wide eyes. "i told you it was gonna sting," you shake his hand from you and sit back waiting for him to regain himself. "sorry i didn't hear you. i wasn't ready for that," he groans, cracking his neck. "ok now."

after you finish patching soobin up, which including him flinching a lot and you telling him to calm down, you let him rest on the floor. taehyun has been seated on top of the principal's desk this whole time just spaced out, looking out of the window. you join him but wince when you see someone on the floor getting eaten. you turn back to him but he's still looking outside.

"i don't think calling for help is gonna work," he says emotionlessly. you sit on the desk beside him. "hey don't say that, there could be people alive out there." you sound like you're trying to reassure yourself more than him. "what if there's no one?" he turns to look at you. "this is so messed up y/n." you see the unshed tears hidden in his eyes and you wanna comfort him but also don't wanna make it awkward. you opt for taking his damaged hand in yours and rubbing it with care.

"i know the situation is really messed up and everything but so far we've managed to save like three people including ourselves. if we keep going maybe we'll be safe and find anyone out there that can help us," he watches you trace his bandaged wrist like you're in a trance. a sudden realization hits him out of nowhere: you're cute... and super caring. he bites his lip, changing the subject, "sorry for not doing anything, back then."

you look up at him and give him a tight lip smile, "it's fine. i guess i might've been expecting too much from you guys, i mean we didn't even have anything on us. beomgyu was the only one with a weapon." you're not mad anymore since he did manage to get you both to safety afterward. you sigh, letting go of his hand. you don't notice him visibly deflate. "i hope yeonjun and beomgyu are ok. i didn't get to see what happened after the door busted open."

taehyun lays back on the desk and covers his face with his arm, "i'm sure they're fine." you hear a groan from somewhere in the room and you flinch, instinctively shuffling closer to taehyun. he bites back a smile from under his arm. you look around and sigh when it's just soobin trying to stand up again. "what are you guys doing?" he goes to sit next to you but there isn't any more space on the desk since you're sitting and taehyun's laying down. he frowns and goes for the principal's seat instead.

"just looking outside, feeling hopeful...others hopeless," you smile at him, hoping to lift the mood. soobin hums, spinning around in the swivel chair, "i'm pretty hopeless." you frown and suddenly soobin feels guilty that he made you upset. "i mean i'm just saying that since i saw a bunch of innocent people in the hall get eaten alive, that's all. there might be some hope outside of the school."

there's a silence that falls upon you three and you're not sure what to say. thankfully soobin speaks up and he hopes it doesn't sound awkward when he says it, "how long have you two been...together?" this causes taehyun to sit up, "what do you mean by that?" soobin raises his hands in surrender. "i was just wondering when is it that you two met up."

"yeonjun and i found him in the nurse's office. that's when everything went to shit," you mumble. "yeonjun? that prick is still alive?" soobin scoffs. "hey, he may be an asshole but his plan got us out of that office," you chide. taehyun stares at you, "you're standing up for him when he called you childish and started that fight?" he says quietly.

"what's wrong with standing up for yeonjun? i know he's a dick but i think he might actually be helpful. he could've left us back at the nurse's office but he decided to stick around. that's commendable, i think," you don't even know why you're suddenly sticking up for him when he hasn't really given you a reason too. maybe it's because you feel bad that he's not actually here to defend himself.

"great another one," you hear soobin mumble under his breath. "another what?" you narrow your eyes at him. "another person that only exists to suck up to yeonjun. here i was thinking i might actually like you," he chuckles flatly. "excuse me?" you can feel embarrassment and anger bubbling up in you.

soobin and taehyun look at you with wide eyes. "let me get one thing straight, i don't live to suck up to anyone, especially with the way things are. if you have a problem with me sticking up for people who aren't here to defend themselves then i'll leave. i don't care if you like me or not," with that you walk up to the door. the hallways seem pretty clear so you go to open the door.

"y/n," taehyun whisper shouts at you. "don't go out there alone, i'll go with you." he frantically moves to pack up his bag once again. you see soobin move to stand up and walk over to you too but you remember what he said. "i don't want anyone of you around me, i'll find other people on my own. wouldn't want you to think i'm sucking up to everyone who tries to help me."

"that wasn't what i meant, i just- fuck y/n- wait," he reaches out towards you but you close the door quickly. you start walking down the hallway, not really knowing where to go. "this was a very bad idea," you think to yourself. so far there's no zombies in the hall you're currently on but you can't shake the fear that's lingering behind you.

you figure taehyun and soobin didn't follow after you or just didn't get a chance to see where you went. you kind of hope they stay put at the principal's office for when you come back with more people. you're pulled from your thoughts quite literally when you're yanked into the janitor's closet.

you go to scream but a hand covers your mouth. you blink a couple of times for your eyes to adjust to the dimness of the tiny space. this is a tiny closet only meant for brooms and mops so your body is very pressed up against whoever is in here with you.

you look up and see yeonjun smiling down at you. he has blood all over his face from the fight that kind of looks like he tried to wipe it off but failed. "oh my god yeonjun," you whisper. you're not sure why your being quiet but you don't want any potential zombies passing by to hear you two.

"hey y/n," he whispers. "how the hell are you alive?" you ask him. "well considering the fact that taehyun is a baseball player which makes him a fast runner, beomgyu and i couldn't keep up so we went into hiding in the girls locker room since it was dark. the zombies followed you guys so once we heard no more commotion we left. beomgyu didn't wanna hang around me so he went around tryna find you." yeonjun rolls his eyes at this.

"you should've stuck with him asshole. im worried about his wellbeing," you bite your lip in worry. you really don't want anything to happen to anyone you've met so far. yeonjun keeps looking down at you, "y/n."

you look back up at him and see his face riddled with worry, "am i really that unbearable, that people would rather die than be around me?" you shake your head viciously. "what? don't say that! i mean sure you're a dick but anyone can change."

you both don't break eye contact for a moment and it kind of starts to feel stuffy in the closet. yeonjun suddenly speaks up, "do you like beomgyu?" your eyes widen and you start to feel heat rise up your neck and cheeks. "n-no, well i don't know...yet. i-i really don't know. i guess he and i are friends and maybe if we talked mor-" in that moment of you stuttering over your words, yeonjun leans down, as best as he can in such a tight space, to place a gentle kiss on your lips.

your eyes widen and you realize you aren't really doing anything so you decide to kiss back. you're so confused right now but decide to let the moment flow. he nibbles on your bottom lip and you let your mouth drop open for him to use his tongue. he somehow manages to push his body closer to yours and wraps his arms around your waist. the kiss isn't rough or needy and is nice but it feels wrong and weird, especially given the circumstances.

you pull away and lick your lips. yeonjun tries to chase your lips but you push him back gently. "why are you kissing me," you ask him shyly. "do you even like me?" this is the part where he hurts you. you wouldn't say you had strong feelings for yeonjun but you did think he was good looking. even though he was mostly mean to everyone you hoped he would change and be a good link to the tiny group you all formed.

"i think so, i don't really know yet to be honest," he answers you. you nod and sigh, satisfied with his answer towards you for now. "sorry for what i said earlier. you weren't being childish, i'm sorry i couldn't help you back then, and im sorry for starting that fight."

you reassure him that its fine but you still feel a weird pit in your stomach worrying about beomgyu. you hope he's ok.

✼ •• ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ •• ✼

taglist:  @fxd-skz , @jinniehyunjin , @foreignswagger17 , @ bluemoonnightmare , @srcasticking-main , @shuichi-sama (send ask to be added!)

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #542

“my beating heart belongs to you  /  i walked for miles ‘til i found you”

Do you live with your biological mother? I do. Have you ever tried peanut butter and bananas together? Yes, actually. A decent sandwich, but I have it very rarely. What kind of music do you tend to like? My taste consists mostly of all things on the heavier side, particularly metal, but I also do enjoy various forms of rock and indie, alternative, too. One of my more surprising musical interests is also techno, especially when mixed with rock or metal.. Do you enjoy listening to Eminem? Eminem is the only rapper whose music I can say I kinda steadily enjoy, at least when I hear him. What color are the sheets on your bed? They're a light blue-ish, almost purple-y color. My new blanket is also a baby pink, so it's got some pretty lil spring/Easter vibes. Are you a member on Bzoink? No. Do you believe in sex before marriage? Yeah, go for it. If you wanna wait? Go for that, too. It's personal choice. I myself feel like sex before marriage could be beneficial, particularly for people who enjoy expressing their sexuality and have certain expectations. More sexual individuals I'm sure wouldn't want to wait, get married, and then learn you're not sexually compatible. I'm personally not waiting anymore, but not for that reason. When was the last time you went on a shopping trip with just your mom? It's been a VEEEEEEEEERY long time. Possibly even before the pandemic. We've been doing just the pick-up orders. Mom does not need to go into a grocery/general store of all places being immunocompromised. Do you agree that Wal-Mart is the best? Ha, what I was talking about just above. I really don't have an opinion here; it's not like I've trialed all the biggest supermarkets. My family just personally uses it. Do you know anyone who married their high school sweetheart? I actually know many people like that. Orange or apple juice? I like both, but I generally prefer orange. Have you ever seen anyone die? Animals, yes... ugh. It's so, so hard to watch. Is there anything really interesting in your family history? Not that I can think of. I have a couple famous ancestors, but. What things are you interested in that you study or read about on your own? Meerkats are #1. I will read ANY article about them featuring new studies and all. I'm also super into learning about tarantulas, preparing for the day I can finally have some. Have you ever given or received a lap dance? No. I couldn't take one seriously, nor could I give one in a non-excruciatingly awkward manner. Would you ever creep into the subway tunnels to go exploring? "Creep," no. I am not going anywhere that would be considered trespassing without permission. I fucking LOVE urban exploration though, so fuck yeah I would, but I think only if I had at least two other people with me. I would at least want a small group because yeah, scary people. And I'd want mace on me. Would you rather be a world political leader or a rock star? A motherfuckin' rock star. Eeeeaaaaasy answer. I would rather do almost anything other than being a political leader. Have you ever given someone a love letter that you wrote? Yep, done that a number of times. I enjoy writing those when I really, really love someone. Have you ever sent someone a surprise through the mail? No. Well, I mean, on the few occasions I sent Jason letters throughout my recovery process (might sound creepy, whatever, my therapists recommended it if it served as a release), there'd be an envelope from me in the box. I guess that could qualify as a "Surprise." Of all animated movies, which is the best one you’ve ever seen? The Lion King. It's just a good fucking movie with such important lessons: life goes on. Face your past. And my favorite, that we all return to the earth and, reference unintended, are "one" with essentially everything. What are the best bands or songs to listen to while driving? I can't really listen to music when I drive, in my experience. I do, however, plan to make a driving playlist when I start practicing again, selecting only comfort songs with no lyrics, particularly from game soundtracks. Silent Hill 2 and Shadow of the Colossus especially. I could absolutely see it helping me stay calmer. What do you think is the most amazing thing that anyone has ever accomplished? I dunno, man. There are a shitload of marvelous, world-altering achievements. Do you believe the stories about planes, boats and people mysteriously disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle? LKJASLKJALKWEJRKLWQER bitch that place scares me lmaooo. I honestly can't confidently say I don't. There are just a frightful amount of pretty strange cases... I'm personally too scared to go through it, alskjfalkejrlwkae. What is the happiest way you can start your day? Cheesy answer I'm sure, but waking up to Girt being beside me. There's been one occasion where he's spent the night without having work the next day (he has to leave early at like, 6:00), and that morning was fucking perfect. I want more of that. What changes are you afraid of? More than anything, moving out. It's like... I want to, but at the same time, it's extremely scary to me. I just fear independence in general. Have you ever wanted to be an actor/tress? No. What is your biggest goal for this year? I want to grow in my self-worth and work on my internal motivation instead of finding it in others. Where do you want to be in 5 years? In my own place, married, financially stable, happy, content. Hopefully in much better health. If you could learn how to do three things just by wishing and not by working what would they be? How to be more socially adequate, draw hyperrealistically, and how to be more productive. Which do you remember the longest: what other people say, what other people do or how other people make you feel? What people say. That tends to stick with me forever. What are the key ingredients to having a good relationship? COMMUNIFUCKINGCATION. As well as honesty and trust, and obviously having a mutual interest in the other's wellbeing and just who they are as a person. What 3 things do you want to do before you die? Photograph and pet meerkats at the KMP (particularly the Whiskers), meet Markiplier, and spread Teddy's ashes at Yellowstone. What three things would you want to die to avoid doing? Amounting to nothing and just not living life to the fullest, not experiencing a healthy, life-long love, and always remaining at the weight and general physical health I am now. What is your favorite oldie/classic rock song? My friend, you can't ask this to a massive classic rock/metal fan. What Disney villain are you the most like and why? Idk. To be honest, I don't remember a lot of prominent personality points of older/"big" villains. If you were traveling to another continent would you rather fly or take a boat? Fly. Boats take longer, and I'd be more wary of them, honestly. Like there's always that subdued fear of a plane crash, but they're just so immensely rare that I don't really freak out about it. Plus, the view! Would you rather explore the deeps of the ocean or outer space? Outer space. It's just an absolute, unspeakable marvel. If you could meet any person in the world who is dead who would you want it to be? Steve Irwin. God, if we could just talk for a while... What if you could meet anyone who is alive? Markiplier, duh. What is your favorite thing to do outside? Photograph nature and its wildlife. Have you ever been to a psychic/tarot reader? No, they're bullshit. I'm not wasting money on that. What is the kindest thing you have ever done? *shrug* Ask the people I interact with. What holiday should exist but doesn’t? I personally think there should be a holiday on the anniversary of the legalization of gay marriage that celebrates and educates on the LGBTQ+ community. What holiday shouldn’t exist but does? I'm not a fan of Columbus Day. That man didn't discover shit. He found an already-inhabited land to conquer. Where is the most fun place you have EVER been? Probably Disney World. I don't remember too much of it, though. What is the one thing that you love to do so much that you would make sacrifices to be able to do it? Hm... I can't say I'm sure. I'm sure there's something, just nothing's coming to me rn. If you had to choose would you live on the equator or at the North Pole? North Pole, holy shit. I ain't dealing with that heat.. What cartoon would you like to be a character in? POKEMON!!!!! Name one thing that turns your stomach: Vomit, especially the sound of someone puking. Get anything good in the mail recently? My book came in!! What’s the most eccentric thing you have ever worn? I dunno. If you could pick one food that you could eat all you wanted but it would have no effect on how much you weigh, what food would it be? It would be soda, 100%, specifically Mtn. Dew. I struggle with a yearning for soda way more than a specific food. What are your parents interested in? Mom LOVES medical stuff, especially surgeries. She's aaaaall about cool things about the body. She also fucking loves helicopters and actually wanted to be a pilot of them, but her very old-fashioned mother told her no (she had to have a "feminine" job...). She's also a massive motorcycle fan; it's one of her life goals to own a Harley one day, ha ha. She also enjoys the same music as me and is obseeeeessed with Metallica. Lastly, and one of her biggest passions, is children. They light up her whole world and wants to do EVERYTHING she can to help them. As for my dad, the first thing that comes to mind is sports, especially hockey and football. His "man cave" is full of Carolina Hurricanes and Cleveland Browns stuff, ha ha. He loves to go fishing, too. He's a big into (mostly classic) rock music as well. I'm tellin' ya, it's in my blood, ha ha. I embarrassingly can't think of much more... but I mean, granted, I don't see him very much and he has absolutely developed as a person since my parents divorced. When do you feel your life energy the strongest? Hm... I'll have to think on that. You are spending the night alone in the woods and may bring only 3 items with you. What do you bring? A tent, water, and a flashlight. Did The Blair Witch Project scare you? Nah; horror movies don't really make my spine shiver. It's one of my favorite scary movies, though! I really enjoy ones that are "found footage" type. Are you a fan of any comic books? Nah, never been into 'em. What are your greatest sources for wisdom? Listening to Mark, life experiences and paying attention to how they make myself and others feel, animals, music, books, (mostly children's) movies... When you were little, where did your parents tell you babies come from? I'm pretty sure it was always "mommy's tummy," but I was never given details on how they got out, ha ha. What’s the best kind of movie to see on a date? Hm, I'd say a comedy, perhaps a romantic one. Get some laughs in and remember that love is beautiful. When you see a stranger on the street does your first reaction lean towards thinking of this person as a potential friend or as a potential threat? Threat. Always. People scare me. What do you really want to buy? To give an answer that isn't my usual, laser hair removal aslkjalwkejr. Being in an intimate relationship, I'm really self-conscious about my legs, but thank god my partner understands why it's incredibly difficult for me to shave and says he doesn't care. Do you think it’s odd that Americans have freedom of religion and yet call themselves "one nation under god?" I do, actually. I don't like it. Like I get it's a traditional, long-lasting pledge, but dude, tweaking something to be more conscious and accepting of diversity is never a bad thing. In what sense are you a minority? I'm mentally ill, a member of the LGBTQ+ community, and a woman. Do you have a condom in your room? Not currently, but we're planning to get a box for here just so we're prepared to be safe regardless of whose house we're at. Can you pick things up with your toes? Yes. Where did you buy the shirt you’re wearing now? Wal-Mart. Who were you last in a car with? Mom. I saw my new psychiatrist yesterday. Are you in a good mood right now? I am, thankfully. Do you know what you want to be when you grow up? I've become pretty devoted to the idea of just being a housewife with a photography hobby. Like keep an Etsy shop or something. Who was the last person you cut out of your life intentionally? My uncle and his immediate family. Fuck all of them. Arrogant, greedy, slimy pieces of shit. Do you like watching scary movies? I looove scary movies. Do you know how to fish? Well, the method of fishing changes depending on the type of fish you're after. Sometimes the lure sits, something you slowly keep reeling it, sometimes jerk the lure along, etc. I grew up fishing, so I'm pretty good at it. However, I do SUCK at fly fishing. I could never get the hang of it. Have you ever been given a rose? Yes. Would you care if you saw the person you like, kissing someone else? Uh, YEAH? We're in a serious relationship. I could never, ever imagine him doing that though, thankfully. Do you eat live fish? What the fuck, no. I don't eat fish to begin with, but a LIVE one? That's just barbaric. Like know some fucking mercy. Tell me five random facts about your sibling(s). (Or your best friend, if you’re an only child.) 1.) Katie is a wonderful cake decorator; 2.) the staff at Nicole's favorite Mexican restaurant all know her and she knows them by name lmaooo; 3.) Ashley is legally blind in one eye; 4.) Katie is my mom's eldest daughter and I'm the second-youngest and yet we are incredibly similar; and 5.) Bobby is pretty much a wizard with computers. Would you get engaged right now? I know realistically if Girt asked, I'd say yes. Maybe stupid, but we've stuck by each other's side for so, so, so long already and I think our relationship is just in a really, really good place right now. Now, I would prefer him not to this early, though. On the subject of your wedding, will it be a big affair? No. I definitely don't plan on inviting a lot of people.

[symptoms-syndrome]

Might delete this later but I'm feeling some sort of way and kinda wanna talk abt parts stuff. Rare occurrence. I don't wanna pin a list or anything. But listing at least some would make me feel a little. Better? Or something. Anyway. I feel like. Maybe people will think I'm weird or cringe but most of y'all don't even know who I am so. Who cares.

Anyway accepting asks about parts things today.

Little more rambling in somewhat more detail below about parts. Please be kind this is very sensitive information for me. Not all parts are listed. There are some parts on my personal parts map/list I don't recognize/know, so obviously I didn't include them.

-Hestia, adult, she/her | she's one I've been aware of the longest. I used to think she was the goddess and was talking to me. Complicated. I hesitate to call her any sort of introject because I'm fairly certain she's only Hestia because I thought she was, if that makes any sense. Like her identity as Hestia was applied after the fact. She doesn't feel particular attachment to the idea of being a goddess or anything. When I found out she was a part it didn't really distress her or anything. She's the way she's always been, kind and comforting and soft-spoken.

-Seba, young adult?, he/him | also one of the parts around the longest. He got really loud around middle school, and I thought I was hallucinating voices. He used to be kinda? Rude or mean, but in kind of a brotherly way. When I was kicked out I remember he took over really quick. He's very good at standing up for himself and is very confident. He helped a lot when I was homeless, because it was really scary for me and he was the one who pushed aside fear and got things done. He doesn't care a lot about respect that isn't earned, he only seems to respect people who respect him first. Strangely, but in a way I think is good, he used to appear as a white boy but now looks more Asian, like me.

-Mimi, young adult, she/her | Mimi is a part that I think has been around a while, but had little to no communication with the rest of us, by no fault of her own. She's peppy, she likes socializing and having fun, she likes to look pretty and has high self esteem. I once described her as sort of "nice drunk girl in the bathroom," which is somewhat accurate. She's incredibly kind, but doesn't always notice things. Very reliable despite her fun-loving attitude. Very loud and talkative.

-T (first initial, I don't like using his full name online), adult, he/him | T might be an introject, but similarly to Hestia I hesitate to label him that way because I don't know if the "source" he has was applied after the fact. I just know he's very attached to the identity of a character from a media I long since have disliked, despite it being a big interest in middle school. He knows he isn't that character, but I guess it's like he never took the costume off or something. He's not shy or quiet, but doesn't really do small talk and really mostly talks if he thinks it's important. He's a very hard worker, sometimes too much so. He can be incredibly awkward around people, but mostly because he's excessively polite. He holds a lot of sad memories and things, and can be overwhelmed by them sometimes. He's really bad at asking for help, so I try to be more attentive with him. He seems to have a lot of control over not sharing memories and such. He can self isolate, which is really hard sometimes.

Aslan, child, he/him | Aslan is very peppy, very happy and curious and loves to talk to people and learn things and see things. He usually fronts along with someone else, because I think he'd be lonely fronting alone. He likes play and jokes and is a joy to be around.

Max, unsure, they/them | Max is adventurous, not afraid of anything, and is a little bit of an adrenaline junkie. They like to explore new places, climb on things, feel wind and nature, and experience new things. They can be a little reckless, but is pretty good at only taking calculated risks.

TW for below, because I'm talking about parts that hold a lot of heavy stuff.

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-Angel, I use they/them just to be safe | Angel I think holds a lot of trauma. They used to come out a lot more, but mostly during panic attacks and such. I think they genuinely believe themselves to be an angel, but it's hard to tell. They're very sad about not being one anymore. They can get really overwhelmed by religious trauma stuff. I think they're doing better than they used to, though. They've been around a bit more recently, but have calmed down from full blown panic to mostly just jitters and anxiety.

-Unnamed little girl, child, she/her | very obsessed with manners and being polite. It can be hard to talk to her because she's so excessively attuned into etiquette. Has a lot of anxiety about doing something wrong or impolite. I've been trying to show her it's okay to interact with people more casually.

-Runaway, teenager (15-ish?), She/her | Very distressed. Only noticed her recently. She's in a really rough spot right now and I've talked about her before. In the "inner world" she seems to be in a chain link fence sort of enclosure, and I'm not sure if she's trapped there or she feels safe in there. She really wants us to run away from home, she wants freedom, and seems really stuck in our past where home wasn't a safe place to be. A lot of dark thoughts. She's very good at Pinterest though, that's one way she's been able to communicate well.

[pla-teau]

WANDAVISION EPISODE SEVEN THOUGHTS

GIF NOT MINE

SPOILERS AHEAD YOU’VE BEEN WARNED!

BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL MORE LIKE BREAKING MY BRAIN AND HEART

wanda’s mood | as she talks to the camera, she treats her expanding the false world she’s created to having a bad night out. we’re seeing how tired she is from expanding westview - it damn near drained her it seems. the last episode was a lot to take in, keeping up with her torn emotions with pietro, her relationship with vision crumbling, worrying about her kids, expanding the hex — it’s enough to fry out your nerves. wanda also categorizes what happened in the last episode as reckless and decides to stay in to punish herself. even her kids notice that she’s out of it because she doesn’t stop them from fighting and doesn’t say a word as she heads to the kitchen. she’s drained, she’s tired - she doesn’t want to deal with anything today. wanda’s not being the doting mom she’s been since the birth of the twins as when billy talks about his head being too noisy, she ignores his complaints and lounges in bed a little longer. she’s drained and is acting out of character throughout the whole episode.

wanda’s reality is starting to break | right off the bat, we see how the reality in westview is going haywire. the boys mention their game freaking out. it switches to games from different eras. then we see it with wanda’s milk - switching from black and white to color and even changing shape to fit the style of a past era like 50s with the milk being in glass bottle or a milk carton with the ‘missing’ label on the side. we’ve seen the trailer/promo footage of different objects/furniture in the house glitching in this same manner and it seems that wanda’s power is not strong enough to keep everything together - physically or mentally so it seems in this episode.

“thanks for tuning in to W.N.D.A.” | as wanda is in the kitchen making herself some cereal, you can hear the tv from the living room say this. this sets up the opening credits for the show as everything is about wanda. if you turn on the subtitles, you can read exactly what the anchor is saying on the television. he says “not a thing weighing heavily on your conscience. i hope your little ghosts arrived home safe last night. it’s always such a treat to see those creepy kiddos out and about once a year.” it seems as though it’s wanda’s mind we’re hearing. nothing’s weighing heavily on her conscience - kinda is with expanding the hex. the little ghosts is in reference to all the kids that we finally saw come out for halloween in westview. calling them creepy kiddos could mean nothing but i thought about tommy and billy? since the two gained their abilities on halloween and weren’t doing much to conceal their powers (at least tommy wasn’t). i also say it’s wanda’s mind we’re gaining insight to cause when it goes on to the bit about giving tips about resisting temptation of the leftover candy or just eating it all - wanda is skeptical of what’s happening with the milk but still takes a big spoonful of cereal.

opening credits | we don’t have some super catchy lyrics this time around for the opening credits of the show - making me think that this is a nod to the office. but we do get ‘wanda’ splattered in every frame of the credits. the one that stands out to me is the ‘i know what u are doing wanda’ since everything else it seems to be replacing random words on signs like restaurants and other shops. comes off as a tad bit scary/creepy since it’s written with cut out letters from different new articles/magazines. could be a hint to vision knowing that it is all wanda’s doing. or as we later find out, it can be a set up to agnes’ reveal since she plays a more sinister role in all of this. this is the first we’re seeing any sort of credits in the opening sequence. created by wanda maximoff - again driving home the fact that the hex and everything we’ve seen so far has all been wanda’s creation or so we’re forced to believe...

SWORD retreat | we learn that the broadcast has been taken down - all they get is dead air supposedly. maybe that’s just a result of wanda’s expansion of the hex but i think it’s too weak given how har out they are and since they are farther from wanda as she doesn’t live right at the edge of town. we also learn that haydick hayward is planning to launch a missile or some kind of powerful weapon on/in to the hex to stop wanda. let’s hope it fails or if it goes through, wanda can point the missile/weapon back at SWORD and let it go.

“if he doesn’t wanna be here, there’s nothing i can do about it.” | wanda’s comment about vision not being home and response to billy asking if they should go looking for him. this clearly speaks to wanda not having any control over vision anymore. this is the first time we’ve seen the couple apart for the entirety of the episode. he’s gained enough sentience within the hex to not be controlled by wanda as other residents are. she knows she can’t rewrite or edit the scene for him to suddenly come through the door and have everyone be a happy family.

“he is not your uncle.” | wanda confirms to us that the pietro we’ve seen so far is a stranger and not some multiverse version of her dead brother. this to me also shoots down the theory of the multiverse existing at this point and wanda being responsible for it even though evan peters does play pietro in the x-men universe. i think it was a wink to fans about marvel gaining rights to the x-men franchise. i could be wrong but until then, ‘uncle p’ is sus to me.

“i don’t have all the answers” | wanda going on about how despite being their mother, she doesn’t have all the answers. this is the third time wanda’s been asked about the truth and she doesn’t have an answer. first with vision when he asks how all this happened. second with ‘pietro’ also asking how she created westview. now, it’s the twins seeking answers about their not-uncle if she’s claiming he’s an imposter and a liar. if anything, wanda has been consistent in this claim of not knowing anything. she knows she created westview but she doesn’t know how it got to be this way. i still believe she was offered something or was taken advantage of from the get go by someone else to get to her and observe how powerful she is. i personally love the twins’ reaction to her speaking on not having all the answers. hello yes i love them.

hayward’s interest in vision | we learn that project cataract is/was hayward’s plan to bring vision back to life. this man was trying to make vision into a weapon for SWORD and that’s why he’s so focused on vision inside the hex. wanda somehow brought him back to life despite hayward’s various attempts. i hate this man and i’m sorry but i hope monica and/or wanda beat the shit out of him. obviously, hayward was using SWORD’s resources to try and bring vision back to life but it’s a question of whether or not other people within SWORD knew this was happening and what the intentions were. because we also have monica’s contact be another agent working in SWORD. so why do i get the feeling that we’re gonna be dealing with a SHIELD 2.0 in which bad guys operate within the agency and it’s going to eventually fall like 2014?

“do you think maybe this is what you deserve?” | the interviewer asking wanda this question after we see her house starting to glitch like there’s no tomorrow. while later we do find out agnes is behind the mic, it made me think that this was mephisto finally coming out a bit since the question is very pointed at wanda. the interviewer wants to see wanda suffer because why would anyone ask such a thing let alone say that? they’re taking joy in wanda losing touch with her reality. this is the lowest we’ve seen wanda throughout the series. she’s usually put together - has a slight moment of crisis - but gets back on her feet for tomorrow to enjoy her life with her family. slowly it’s been building up to this point in which wanda just...crashes. she’s lost control in this reality so for the interviewer to pose that question, it’s a signal that someone else is in charge and going to come for wanda at her weakest.

the nexus commercial | this commercial is definitely referencing wanda during infinity war/endgame. the world goes on without you? could be talking about how the world keeps spinning after wanda lost the only family she had left or how everyone moved on in endgame despite losing the person she wanted to spend her life with. wanting to be left alone? all wanda wanted was to be with vision and now to be left alone as she lives out her life with vision in westview. i know the word nexus itself has a double meaning in marvel. nexus was first name dropped in aou, with it being the center of the internet located in oslo. in the comics, i know wanda is referred to as a nexus being in which this could definitely set up the multiverse as the commercial does state that the medication ‘anchors you back to your reality. or the reality of your choice.’ i’m guessing this is on purpose since we’re conditioned to see everything marvel puts out or puts emphasis on to have a double meaning. maybe wanda discovering that she is a nexus being in multiverse of madness could be what the side effects are talking about. if she’s confirmed to be this being, she’d feel a lot of feelings, confront her truth (maybe her role in westview and hopefully her trauma), seizing her destiny (taking control of her life and bigger role in the world), and possibly more depression (i don’t think she needs more of it but with her, it’s almost inevitable especially given where these next two weeks might be heading). given that it does hold two meanings for marvel, it could explain the scenes we’ve seen in promo footage of her time in sokovia with the mind stone. we were told that the show would explore more of wanda’s past from aou so maybe it is going to give nexus a double meaning in the mcu: the largest internet hub and wanda’s confirmation as a nexus being.

the twins with agnes | this scene had me anxious. billy commenting about it being quiet heavily hinted at how agnes isn’t like anyone else in westview. again, we’ve never seen her husband ralph and we still don’t see him in this episode. we get another glimpse of señor scratchy with billy holding him but that’s about it. the house is also a big contrast to wanda’s house and westview’s scenery overall. there’s usually a lot of light and warmth in westview but agnes’ interior is toned down and has darker tones throughout our time in it. clearly, a set up for the big reveal that everyone’s been echoing since the show started. this is also the last time we see the twins in the episode.

monica | after the SWORD rover failed to get through, monica goes right in and clearly her passing through a third time has a permanent effect. she’s finally got her powers and is more badass than before. i loved how we got bits and pieces from her, maria, carol and fury in captain marvel. monica has been one of the best characters in this series and i can’t wait to see what happens next with her.

it’s all about vision | monica’s explanation to wanda about hayward. i said this before about the end credits in the show always zooming in on vision’s eye to segway into the crystal sequence. we’ve learned that hayward was trying to bring vision back and somehow wanda managed to do this once she took his body. i wouldn’t be surprised if by the end of the season we see vision being the key to saving everyone in westview since hayward just wants what he believes is his and is willing to blow up a whole town to get it or cover his tracks. while this whole series has been focusing on wanda, this all boils down to vision.

agatha all along | of course the big reveal is agnes being agatha harkness and the mastermind behind a lot of the weird occurrences in westview. what is interesting is that she’s choosing to reveal herself to wanda in this way. it doesn’t seem like it was her plan to do it at the time she did but seeing that monica could’ve swayed wanda to go off script in agatha’s plans, better sooner than later. i think señor scratchy is none other than mephisto and maybe in the next episode we’ll see the other big bad reveal himself to wanda and us. when’s that bop dropping on spotify

snooper’s gonna snoop | finally, we get a post credits scene with uncle p and monica. we’ve learned that agatha was behind the ‘recasting’ of pietro but who is he?! he could be a multiverse!quicksilver we’ve never seen before - which could explain his skewed memories with wanda. right when the camera comes to view with monica, it cuts to the credits. i believe that maybe this pietro shapeshifts into who he really is - who this might be? i don’t think mephisto but possibly agatha’s son nicholas scratch since he seems to be an accomplice of hers?

ugh god so much to unpack and we have another two episodes before shit really hits the fan.

[staysaneathome]

The Self-Preservation Society (1)

Des’ Daddy isn’t his Daddy anymore.

Des knows this because his family told him so. They’ve been whispering it into his ears, into his skin, into his tummy, with every quiet, soft step they take. Whispers of dusty, of spicy, of preserved, not sweaty and stinky and smoky like Des’ Daddy should be.

He thinks he’d know it even if they didn’t tell him though. Des’ Daddy went off to the wax museum with short hair, dark eyes, a lumpy eyebrow, and a grumpy frown. The man who came to find them and kissed his Mama at the butterfly exhibit has curly hair, freckles, a warm smile, and eyes so green Des’ family wanted to land on them, explore the vibrant flowers within.

But he is not Des’ Daddy, even though Mama likes him more. Even though Mama had got upset when Des was confused. Even though he swung Des up onto his shoulders in a piggyback ride that his Daddy never let him have. Even though he reads Des bedtime stories every night about birds piercing insects and bringing them back to the nest for their babies, even though he kisses Des’ forehead every morning and tells him to have a good day at school, even though he makes Mama laugh and put down the special juice to dance with him in the living room to Abuelita’s old tunes.

He is not Des’ Daddy.

And he knows Des knows this.

Des thinks he knows Des’ family knows this too.

His family whispers, predator, danger, predator, and Des tries to make himself look bigger. He’s messier, doesn’t cover his mouth to cough or blow his nose, doesn’t wipe his face at dinner or wash his hands after playing in the garden. Mama gets mad, and gets even madder when he doesn’t want to take a bath, because this is protection, this is defense.

Look, see how dirty and germy I am. You can’t eat me, or else you’ll get sick and die. Or I’ll taste really, really bad and you’ll wanna throw me up. So don’t eat me. Don’t even think about it.

But Des’ defenses don’t protect Mama. Mama doesn’t have a family like Des does, not yet, and she’s touching him so much to get rid of his protection, and she gets sick. She falls over in the middle of the day and has to be rushed to hospital. Des sits on a chair next to what is Not his Daddy and hears small snippets of big words like “cardiac arrest” and “cardenolides” and “overdose” and “overnight monitoring”.

The man who is not Des’ Daddy straps him into his car seat after the doctor tells him they’ll call with an update in the morning, and begins to drive.

“You did this, didn’t you Des?” He asks, in that mild way he does now. Nothing like the way Daddy used to yell, voice lowering and loudening until it sounded creaky with volume. Des wishes that he’d do that instead of this.

“Didn’t mean to.” He bites out, glaring down at his hands. One of his sisters perches on his clenched fist, opening and closing her wings softly and slowly. She’s very pretty, and her orange and black and brown wings feel like the gentlest kisses.

The man who isn’t Des’ Daddy nods, like this is perfectly normal. Like they aren’t driving past their house and out onto the motorway again, further and further away. “Of course you didn’t. Your mama loves you after all. It’s not your fault you can’t love her back properly.”

Des’s mouth drops open. “I can too.”

He’s very good at loving. He loves, loves, loves his Mama, his real Daddy, his Abuelita, his family. It’s why they came to him after all, when he fell from the big tree in the woods behind their house and everything hurt. They whisper they love him when they’re small and wriggling, when they’re quiet and growing, when they’re big and flying, and he whispers that he loves them too, because he does.

“No you can’t.” The hand that reaches out is faster than a bird.

It doesn’t feel like anything at first, as Des stares at his sister’s limp, crushed form in incomprehension.

Then the pain hits him and he opens his mouth in a wounded howl. It hurt him, it hurt him, the stranger hurt him, the predator hurt him, help, help, help.

His family come to his aid, filling the car, millions upon millions of beautiful orange, brown and black wings beating furiously around him. Protect, defend, beloved, ours, stay away, don’t touch, don’t touch, don’t touch—

The thing that is not Des’ Daddy laughs. It doesn’t even look away from the road as the poison drips down its face, doesn’t even blink as it lashes out and hurts more and more of Des’ family with every sweep of an arm. “You see? With all this inside you, Des, how could you love somebody? How could you love anybody? But don’t worry. We’re going somewhere where they can fix you up and make you aaaall better. Make you into the son Mama deserves, so you can love her properly. Don’t you want that? To love your Mama properly?”

Des can’t stop crying, reaches out and calls his family back to him. He doesn’t wanna go with the predator, but he doesn’t want his family getting hurt anymore either, he doesn’t, he doesn’t.

They’re scared too, he can feel them, even as they whisper beloved and we love you and be brave and ours as they wander over him, as their wings brush his skin in the gentlest of kisses and comfort.

Outside the car is getting brighter, big, big buildings with lots of lights zooming past like fair lights on a tea cup ride or a merry-go-round. It makes his head hurt, as more tears spill from his eyes and he tries to sniff past his runny nose. Some of his family move to the window, blocking out the lights that make him feel like he wants to be sick.

“Ssh, easy Des.” The stranger hushes, tone soothing and comforting, the same as when reading bedtime stories about the daddy bird bringing his babies pretty dragonflies and bluebottles and butterflies to eat. “We’re almost there. You’ll feel so much better once we’ve got all that nonsense out of you and fixed you up. You’ll love your Mama so much. Don’t you want to love your Mama?”

He shakes his head, sobs coming harder. He does love his Mama, but he doesn’t wanna go with the predator, with the Not-His-Daddy, doesn’t want to get hurt anymore, he doesn’t, he doesn’t.

Eventually the car stops. There’s a click from the front. A door opens and slams shut.

Des hopes for a second it’ll be home it’s stopped in front of.

But then the Not-Daddy opens the car door and reaches in to undo the straps of Des’ car seat. He’s smiling gently, soothingly. “C’mon Des. Time to go.”

Des screams.

He screams as the Not-Daddy pulls him out of the car and slams the door, crushing some of his family in the process. As he starts to drag Des towards the wax museum, smiling at everyone who passes by like nothing’s wrong, like Des isn’t wailing behind him.

Nobody even looks down at Des, not even like they do when he cries while in the shops with Mama. It’s like he’s not even there.

“No! No!! You’re not my Daddy, let me go! Let me GO!!” He tries to sit down, tries to drag his legs. His family swarm around him, wings beating furiously as they cling to the back of his shirt, to his ears, to his hair.

The Not-Daddy laughs, yanks him along, like everything he and his family are doing doesn’t even matter—

There’s a noise that can only be described as a Crunch.

Last Christmas, Mama sent Des’ Abuelita a little soldier man for her present. He and Mama stayed up so they could watch Abuelita open it on the computer while his Daddy snored, watch her admire his tufty white beard, his furry black hat, his shiny red coat and black boots. The soldier man had a little flap on his back, and when Abuelita pulled it up, the soldier’s mouth opened. Abuelita had put a walnut into it, and pulled the little flap down, and the walnut’s shell fractured open with a little snap that made Des jump and Abuelita laugh and croon at him through the screen.

That’s what The Thing’s jaws slamming shut on his Not-Daddy’s arm makes him think of, as it shatters the arm like the walnut’s shell.

The Not-Daddy shrieks, high and inhuman like a recorder blown wrong, and drop Des.

He falls back on his bottom, dazed as no longer being pulled along.

Only for the Thing that appeared from nowhere and bit the Not-Daddy to scoop him up and start running.

Des screams again, wriggling and fighting against the too tight too strong grip, screams for his family, for his Mama, for somebody to come save him.

The Not-Daddy is screaming too, yelling things like “STOP!! HELP! HELP!!” and “LET GO OF MY SON!!” Things that make all the people who’d ignored Des before turn around and stare, pull out phones, lunge out to stop the Thing that’s got Des.

But they can’t catch it. The Thing twists under and through grasping arms in a way that can’t be real, can’t be possible, making people slam into each other as it ducks between them to thunder down a set of stairs, Des’ family not far behind.

It leaps over the metal barrier, legs high and graceful like the horses on TV that Des’ Daddy liked to watch on weekends, making his tummy swoop like he’s missed a step climbing the stairs too fast.

It swoops even harder when it leaps and sliiides down the metal bit between the escalators, like Des has always imagined doing. He always thought it would feel like the big slide at the fancy park Mama has to drive to go to, or going down the helter-skelter on an itchy mat at the fair, fast and whizzy and fun with all the people and posters flashing past.

Des hadn’t thought it would be so scary, the down so sharp he’s sure he’ll topple forwards and crack his head open, sure he’ll slip and is falling from the Big Tree again, his tummy flailing like one of his family with a damaged wing, his throat cracking as his screams are torn from it.

He can only whimper once The Thing jumps off at the bottom and is running again, taking sharp turns through the nasty smelling tunnels until a train is in front of them and swinging itself not through the doors into one of the carriages, but up and over and down behind the little wall in front of the space separating them, caging Des in its impossibly bent and tangled limbs.

The train screeches and starts to pull away from the light of the platform.

The Not-Daddy is too far away to stop it, though his screams are still echoing through the tunnels, ringing in Des’ ears.

His family are not.

Des feels like crying as thousands of thousands of butterflies descend onto The Thing keeping him captive as the train whizzes off into the darkness, wings beat beat beating around him in time with their song of protect, defend, intruder, predator, thief, family, beloved, ours, defend, protect, don’t touch, don’t touch, don’t touch.

They cluster as the train picks up speed, clinging to him and to the Thing, gathered so thickly that Des can feel thin droplets of liquid seeping into his hair, into his clothes, onto his skin. He laughs, because this is his defense, his family’s defense, that feels as gentle and soothing as bathwater to him, but won’t to this thing, hadn’t to Mama.

The Thing tenses, muscles locking tight and spasming around Des. In the light of the carriage behind him, Des can see its eyes blinking rapidly, before squeezing shut tightly in pain. Yeah, serves it right for trying to eat him!

The Thing raises a hand and brings it down towards his head—!

Des recoils with a cry, praying that it won’t hurt even more of his family than the Not-Daddy did.

…?

There’s no hurt…?

Instead, it feels like The Thing’s fingers are just…sitting there? On top of Des’ hair? Not even on top of any of his family, trying to trap antennae or crush wings.

The fingers stay flat and gentle even as another spasm rocks through The Thing’s body, even as his family crawl over them to investigate.

Then, slowly, the fingers on Des’ hair begin to move. Back and forth, back and forth, very, very slowly and carefully. There’s no pressing down, no digging in, nothing.

It’s…stroking him? Like he’s a cat, or something?

The train slows down to a stop as it emerges back into the light. There’s a hiss as the doors open and people get on and off. Then a beeping as the doors hiss shut again, and the train speeds back off into darkness.

And through it all, The Thing just keeps stroking him. It doesn’t try to hurt his family, even as its eyes are screwed shut and its body flinches irregularly.

There are brightly colored bands on its wrists, glowing bright green and yellow in the dark. Lots of his family are clustering over them, investigating, seeing if there’s any nice nectar for them there.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” Des shouts. Mama says it’s not polite to shout, but he can’t hear anything over the rushing of the train otherwise, and he’s very confused by this Thing.

The Thing doesn’t reply.

“HELLO?!” Des shouts, even louder. “CAN YOU HEAR ME?”

There’s a moment.

And then the Thing gives a sharp, jerky nod.

“OKAY, SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” Des frowns when The Thing doesn’t reply again. “EXCUSE ME, I ASKED YOU A QUESTION! CAN'T YOU TALK?!”

The Thing shakes its head tightly.

Oh. Now Des feels bad, like when Mama told him off for asking why Maisy from the park had that pink plastic thing in her ear, and wouldn’t play tag right unless you really pushed her. “I’M SORRY.” He yells, because that’s what Mama made him say to Maisy.

The Thing’s fingers go back and forth over his head again, so he thinks it’s alright.

“ARE YOU GOING TO EAT ME?!” Des asks, because that’s very important for him to know.

Shake, shake, shake.

Des nods, heaving a deep breath. It doesn’t smell very nice, but it helps make his heart not race, and he slumps against The Thing’s limbs. His family’s wings slow, and the liquid slowly stops dripping down onto them.

It’s okay. He’s not going to be eaten. They’re not going to be eaten. Everything’s going to be okay.

“ARE YOU TRYING TO RESCUE ME FROM MY NOT-DADDY?!”

Nod, nod, nod. The jerks going through the Thing’s body are stopping now, though it’s eyes are still squeezed shut.

“THANK YOU.” Des shouts, because his Mama raised him to be a polite boy. “SORRY ABOUT TRYING TO MAKE YOU NOT EAT ME AND MY FAMILY’S DEFENSE CAR-TE-NO-LIDS!”

The Thing nods again, though its brow has creased more. In pain or confusion, Des isn’t quite sure. It moves its hand back and forth again over his hair though, so he’s pretty sure he’s forgiven.

Des stares at The Thing closely, not that he knows it’s not going to eat him or hurt him.

It’s a very odd looking Thing, almost like if someone tried to make something that looked like a person, but didn’t get all the details quite right. It looks normal enough from the nose up, if a bit grubby and sweaty. It’s also dressed like a person, with a shirt and pants and a backpack and shoes, even if these clothes are very holey and too-big, like when Abuelita sends Des things ‘to grow into’ for Christmas.

The problem is that it’s got these weird dark lines on both of its cheeks that go down its neck, where its mouth can open really wide like Abuelita’s neat little soldier. Its arms and legs also bend a lot past the way Des’ can, like it’s plasticine or Hugo from the Playground’s really bendy Nutcracker Barbie ballerina doll.

His brothers and sisters perched on The Thing don’t tell him of the same dusty, spicy, preserved smells that came from the Not Daddy, but there is a scent of artificial, of not-organic that they communicate to him while wandering over The Thing’s jaw.

Then he notices something behind it.

There’s a tall teenager in the train carriage behind The Thing that’s staring down at them through the window, eyes wide and mouth open. The tall teenager has a big poofy cloud of hair that Des thinks is very impressive, and wants to smush between his hands, like a pile of bath bubbles.

There’s soft, wavy white stuff floating around the teenager, like stuff on top of the bathwater after all the bubbles have gone.

There’s so much floaty stuff that it makes it very hard to see anyone else in the carriage.

“WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?” Des shouts at the teenager.

The Thing blinks at him, eyebrows raised. It lifts a hand and points to itself, as if to say, “who, me?”

“NOT YOU!” Des yells, exasperated. “THE BIG TEENAGER WITH THE BUBBLE BATH HAIR! WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!”

The big tall teenager startles then, and lifts a hand and points to themself, much like The Thing did. The Thing twists its head all the way round like an owl in time to see the teenager with the bubble bath hair mouth “me?” at them.

“YES YOU. HONESTLY!” Des huffs. Why are teenagers and adults so slow all the time? And why can’t he twist his head round like an owl? It’s not fair.

There’s a moment of silence as the train slows down and pulls into the next station.

Then there’s the unpleasant swooping in his stomach again as the Thing hurls them over the train wall and onto the platform, somehow managing not to squish any of his family in the process and takes off running again.

There’s a loud “HEY!!” and over The Thing’s shoulder, Des can see the tall teenager with the poofy hair following them out of the carriage at a sprint, going through people as the floaty white stuff seems to make the people go see-through like ghosts whenever the teenager touches them.

One of his slower brothers, an older brother, is caught in the rapidly spilling floaty stuff as he tries to flutter up after them as The Thing runs up the stopped middle steps of the escalator, barely keeping up, and then—

Des feels cold. So, so cold, like after he fell from the big tree and was crying and no one was coming for him and he was scared.

He can’t see his brother. He can’t feel his brother.

He doesn’t want to talk to the tall teenager anymore.

“THE POOFY TEENAGER'S GAINING ON US!!” He yells to The Thing.

The Thing twists its head around to look again, but its feet keep running at full tilt. Des yelps as they slam into a cleaning man with a big yellow cart full of stuff, making him feel sick as The Thing pinwheels and hops to avoid falling over the now toppled cleaning man, who yells lots of bad words Mama tells him not to say after Daddy says them.

But when his head stops spinning, he watches as the big yellow cart rolls down the stairs, inexplicably gathering speed as it bursts through the barrier and zooms towards the top of the stopped escalator.

The stopped escalator that the tall poofy teenager with the bubble bath hair is just about to come out of.

The teenager can’t disappear through big yellow carts like they can people.

There’s lots of yelling, and banging, and screaming, and clattering, and Des sort of wants to see what happened, because it sounds like something he’d see when Mama lets him watch cartoons on the weekend. But The Thing’s escaped the cleaning man’s anger and run up the stairs out of the station, taking off down one of the brightly lit streets, weaving through crowds of adults in funny, shiny clothes.

It’s so dark, it’s clearly past his bedtime, but Des doesn’t feel sleepy at all.

He just clings tighter and watches his family flutter behind them as The Thing carries him farther and farther away from the teenager and the Not-Daddy that want to hurt him.

[sorio99]

Deltarune Chapter 2: Live Thoughts

So, since the new chapter of Deltarune came out, I've played it all the way through, so, here are my thoughts as I had them. Basically a live-blog, but, not live anymore, I wrote these in my notes app before.

NOTE: Obviously there are going to be ALL THE SPOILERS for Deltarune Chapter 2 in this, as well as Chapter 1. Reader discretion is advised.

Wow, okay, so I was wrong about it being immediately explained.

Various descriptions have changed, and I’m not sure if it’s because of the change to a new game, or the one to a new chapter.

I feel like Berdly is definitely a m’lady guy.

Okay, so, we’re not skipping class this time.

I really wish we could call Toriel and tell her we’re gonna be late again, but I couldn’t see an option for that. Maybe Kris told her on the ride to school.

Okay, so, Noelle is definitely adorable, and a huge lesbian.

Susie seems lovestruck too, kinda.

SHE HAD CHALK, AND SHE DIDN’T TELL ALPHYS BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT SHE AND SUSIE COULD GO GET IT TOGETHER OH MY GOD

Okay, honestly wasn’t expecting the closet to work again.

Fricking LOVE the new transition.

Okay, so, Ralsei knows about, the real world? How, why, and what?

Oh, that, makes, a little sense? But also, if we hadn’t brought the toys over to the closet then, would they all be, dead?

AND WHAT IS RALSEI IN THIS CONTEXT?!?!

Okay, but I love the new town.

Holy shit, save points have storage, AND a spare list? Hell yeah.

So, we’re all level 2 now. I guess they moved from EXP based (or, execution point based?) to Milestone.

Love the basement for bad guys, with K. Round standing guard.

Bitch said “Child abusers live in Hamster Cage”.

Wait, he uses the hamster wheel?

I don’t know if I believe the king about his “bluff” or not. I think not, but, I don’t know.

I can see the “Susie moves to Ralsei’s castle to escape her abusive home” fic already.

RALSEI GAVE KRIS A TRASHCAN, AND SAID IT WAS FOR THE MANUAL IF HE GIVES US ANOTHER ONE OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY MY SWEET FLUFFY BOY

And of course, the moss call-back.

Oh god, Susie just said “My own room, huh.” and my heart is ready to shatter.

This girl has one actual food item in her fridge, and it’s just salsa

Oh, scratch that, there’s ice, crumbs, and jawbreakers in there too?

Oh, okay, Ralsei did give her actual food.

Entering Lancer’s room gives the cartoon Splat sound effect from Chapter 1, and his bedroom is identical to Chapter 1.

Perfect.

And the sound effect, plays in reverse when leaving? Okay.

So, explore until we’re ready to leave, huh? Seems, suspicious.

Oh my god, I just realized, the LightCandy is literally the chalk Noelle gave Susie. What the fuck.

So, for giving the Top back his cake, we get regenerating SpinCake that heals everyone for 140. Nice.

Battle challenges, huh? This should be interesting.

So, we can get a ClubsSandwich, $100, or…Jigsaw Joe’s entire life savings. Okay.

Aw, Clover has separate heads in their dialogue box!

Just realized this “dojo” also has their bed. Odd.

Alright, let’s take these challenges!

Oh, so if we act with Kris, than spare with Ralsei or Susie…got it!

He has a mercy meter. There’s a mercy meter now. I love this.

Oh, of course his life savings is exactly one dollar.

I can already tell the Graze challenges are gonna be the biggest bitches.

Okay, so, being able to rematch bosses, with different gimmicks and attacks, but based on the same logic? Always amazing.

I love the little cut-ins from the other characters with certain lines, like Susie and Lancer revealing “for a price” means zero dollars.

“Cookie and Wife”?

The Blacksmith runs a bakery where he can fuse items…okay.

Imma get a Silver Card.

What the fuck, Mr. Society?

Okay, so, we’re “leaving” through the way we came in, so “surely” we’re going back “home” to the “real world” and our “family”. Sure.

LANCER was added to your key items.

Oh was he now?

And so was Rouxls, “even though no one wanted that.”

Oh, we, actually went back to the light world. Huh. Actually wasn’t expecting that.

Jack of Spades, and the Rules Card. Makes sense.

Still LV 1 here, thankfully. No murder yet.

Okay, thankfully I can call Toriel now.

…Undyne, what the fuck?

Also? This, car horn music, I guess? Is, um…interesting.

Oh, the, computer lab. Where Toby was in Chapter 1. Okay. Makes sense.

“Guess this means we can’t start our project.” I’d say the biggest obstacle is more that we have no clue what the hell this project is supposed to be.

Hmm, we could use the computer at my house, or we could have a fun Toby Fox adventure…

My house!

I knew Susie wouldn’t allow it, also, you always wanna jump in big pits? That’s, worrying.

Computer lab time!

So, computer themed, maybe?

Rouxls jumped out, apparently. According to Lancer.

Okay, this build up is creepy, where’s the fluffy boy?!

Who is SHE?!

Was

Was that Noelle’s chatter sound?

Asking for help?

OH MY GOD

ITS THE REINDEER LESBIAN

SHES BEEN TAKEN

NOOOO

And, I suppose, this must be, our queen.

Q5U4EX7YY2E9N. Sure. I’ll stick with Queen, yeah.

Oh, she’s a computer! That…that’s probably not, great?

Oh, those plugs are bad, brainwashers. Okay.

Okay, they’re both tired…but Ralsei isn’t here. Fuck.

Aiming at moving targets is hard.

2 Werewires spared, only 4 to go, I guess!

RALSEI IS BACK, YAY!

Fun Gang, back together, working to save Susie’s soon-to-be-girlfriend!

Rhythm game to start a new bumping song. Nice.

Might live blog less from here, since, you know, the game is starting proper.

God, I love Deltarune’s look and sound, it’s so clean? And expressive, and AAAGH, I just love it!

I love angry Ralsei.

First lose control laughing moment: Kris and Susie squishing Ralsei like a toothpaste tube, to play an arcade game.

Did, did I just play Punch-Out inside an Undertale?

Curing computer viruses with Syringes…sure.

Sweet is the rhythm guy! Nice to meet you, Sweet! You and Toby are great at this music thing.

Hey, Susie can act now! Awesome!

Ralsei too, because of bullying! Yay!

Now the whole gang’s dancing!

(This is where I took my first real break, to process stuff and relax, and also to sleep)

In between thought: it’s kinda interesting that, in Chapter 1, Susie basically had to be forced to care about Kris, Ralsei, and Susie, but as soon as Noelle is in the slightest bit of danger, she’s immediately like, “We have to save her or die trying”, huh?

“Reverse diss-tracks, where the vocalist puts themselves down and praises Queen…or noise music.” That’s some, interesting taste in music.

“All our songs are only 4 seconds long!” Damn, so you’re, like, Vine musicians?

So, the Knight is opening alternate fountains, that create dark worlds out of, more mundane places? Interesting…

So, someone new is leading the rebels. This, can’t go well.

Smorgasbord 2.

Oooh, a TP raising Item! Nice!

Oh, the guy who was already working for Queen is a Werewire now. Okay.

66 up arrows. Hmmm, I wonder if I can retry at some point…

Oh boy. Here’s the queens…wait what?

Oh my god.

Go kart time.

Noelle, you traitor! How could you!

Oh, okay. Berdly I believe more.

Also, “beloved”.

I love how Queen apparently didn’t even ask him.

“Light Nerds” Good one, Queen.

That’s one weird Check for Berdly.

Berdly, for God’s sakes, Noelle is a lesbian, you idiot.

You know, given this villain rant, I think I hate Berdly more than I do King. And I’ve dealt with both bullies AND abusive dads.

Oh god, Roller Coaster Tycoon murder (also Berdly is dead)

Garbage! Saved by it again.

Oh, this place looks glitchy.

Also, Susie, you’re not the king of the trash pile. You’re QUEEN of the trash pile.

Oh god, please don’t tell me she’s dying.

Okay, good, she just needed fluffy boy hug.

Fork in the path, advantageous to split up, huh? But there’s three of us, and, two paths probably.

Okay, I can either go with the Fluffy boy who might secretly be evil, or the mean girl who might get lesbian scenes…hmmm…

I’m flipping a coin.

Okay, Ralsei it is!

Oh, Susie is upset at me getting to pick.

Oh, they’re going together.

Oh, this can’t be good.

If I had a nickel for every indie game with a cat themed metropolis on my pc, I’d have two nickels. You can finish the meme.

I swear I just saw Noelle on the right. Something big in the streets, hmmmm…

Okay, definitely saw Noelle that time. Shame the Poppups, popped up.

…I get it, Toby, but I’m still mad.

Blocked 10 ads…okay, I still love this game.

God, I’m already missing my party members.

Okay, so I still have Lancer, but, I’m really hoping Noelle listens to reason, because Lancer is, not.

Oh god no, don’t fight me now Queen. And please don’t join me.

Alright, nobody likes Berdly. Figured.

God they’re so dumb.

“G-got any room for another truce?” Noelle, I would do a No Mercy run for you, of course I’m going to help you.

I can’t believe “No Triple Trucies” is even an option.

Yay! Noelle in party!

“LV1 Snowcaster. Might be able to use some cool moves.” She’s got Heal Prayer, a more powerful (but more expensive) Pacify, and a damaging Ice move for only 16% TP.

I love her.

I don’t know what a sugarplum is myself, actually.

Noelle, you have a one track mind, and I like it.

Lancer, she’s not a cream, and we’re not making her a bad guy.

Oh, and she’s scared of mice, I love it!

Ah, she’s never been in battle before, let’s see how this goes.

See? That wasn’t so bad, Noelle.

Oh, she’s a natural!

“Needles aren’t scary…” Tell that to anyone under 20, Noelle.

Also, “subtle” pro-Vax message?

Oh my god, I just love her animations.

So, the virus and the syringe are fighting…hm…

Okay, so, first, Noelle’s defend animation, also perfect.

Second, so Ambyu-lance’s bullets block and destroy Virovirokun’s…hmm…

Have I mentioned how much I love Noelle? This funky little Christmas Lesbian can do no wrong.

Oh my god, she can’t even confidently say we’re friends, and hearing Kris say it makes her happy, I love her so much.

Okay, so, Queen drinks Battery Acid. Makes sense for a computer.

Kris is so done with this shit, I can tell.

I am both scared of and loving Queen.

Oh Jesus Christ Berdly what the fuck is that.

That is not greatness that is…I don’t know. I’m pretty sure even tumblr isn’t horny for you, Berdly.

Christ, he’s gonna break Queen by being an idiot and then he’ll be the Chapter boss.

Her eyes say lying. Of course.

“I Did Not Know You Had… Nipples” that’s, a good point.

…Berdly, you disturb me.

Second lost control laughing moment: Noelle’s cardboard robot face, and Queen just saying “Wow Cool Face”

Lancer, what is the “illusory nipple technique”?

Oh, of course the music bots built the statue. Berdly would never do manual labor.

Oh, and, they built the next “big” thing…hmmmm…

Why are we, flavors of tea???

Okay, that should be all the werewires for now.

The, clothing store, sold me, a useless mannequin, for $300. Of course.

I am going to touch the cheese.

Maus!

Cheese maze, purposely ruined to spare more Mices.

Hmm, Berdly talks about Noelle’s crush. $20 says he actually thinks it’s him, or maybe Kris at a stretch.

Noelle is now immune to mice! Yay!

Oh, CD Bagel, Seedy Bagel, just got that.

Okay, sacrifice pacifist run to kill Berdly…I’m tempted.

Uh, Berdly, Noelle just one shot both your allies. I’m not alone, you are.

Jokes on you, buddy, I’ve been dodging A+ for years!

“(He hit me in the face with a tornado…)” Yes, Noelle, and I have papercuts on my eyelids. He do be an asshole.

Oh good, they both made Battery Acid Pies. Now we’re in a car together. Perfect. This is exactly how I wanted things to go.

Potassium

Who is this trash man?

Spamton, huh. Oh boy.

Oh god, this song has lyrics.

Oh joy, a mini boss on my own. Just what I wanted.

Oh, new game over screen! Nice.

Anyways, I hate this guy.

Okay, just one more deal, I think. I wonder what’s next.

I’m not giving you my credit card info, dude.

Oh damnit, 1% more.

Okay, I’m very scared now.

Oh, I lost $51. That’s, fair.

Okay, back in the car.

Oh my god, Queen loves Noelle too. Perfect.

Lancer took the mixtape! Nice!

Oh, he ate it…nice!

DECEMB…

Oh god she’s a little kid.

December.

I’m so sorry, Noelle. I really hope you’re going to be okay. We’ll figure out what to do.

Queen, why does everything you have explode?

Now the prize is on my head.

Susie and Ralsei! You’re back!

She can slightly heal me now…cool!

And she taught him Sarcasm. I love them all so much.

Uh, Susie! You can have it!

Okay, so, now Susie is both gay for Noelle, and suspicious of her. Amazing.

And Noelle is turned on by the threat of being killed. Have I mentioned I love these dorks?

The gang’s all here!

Uh, just got past fireworks, and, where’s Noelle?

Oh, okay. She was just watching Fireworks.

Oooo, catching mice minigame!

Oooo, more elaborate but simpler to control mice minigame!

Oooo, bucket hole!

Also, nice gay Noelle moment noted.

Oh no, please don’t take the perfect girl away from us!

Okay, so, I don’t like Berdly, but, Acid river? Bit much…

Oh, okay. He was never in danger. I hate both of you. GIVE US BACK NOELLE

GOD DAMNIT NOT THE CAGE AGAIN.

Oh, great, now we’re captured too. Except possibly Ralsei.

She only plays mobile games. Burn her.

For once Berdly is correct.

Queen, you are dumb.

Is that the super Mario world fade?

I don’t, next question.

No looking at my Search history!

Oh, hey, we can chat in here.

LANCER TIME!

YES I MISSED YOU YOU DOPE

Lancer, never say Pants hole again, and never say you were inside it either.

Lancer, do you still not know our name?!

So this is how they lampshade the tutorial-Toriel thing, huh?

Oh no, Lancer, please don’t die in here.

Um, are there rooms for all the kids at school?

Asriel…

Puzzle time!

Plot twist: Susie is not Susan.

Berdly is dumb.

Admittedly, I did brute force that second one a bit…

Okay, now Susie has outsmarted both me AND Berdly. This is sad.

Oh god, he’s gonna cry now.

Oh, my god, that’s what December meant. That’s why Berdly cares about Noelle. That’s why…oh god.

Oh wow, Susie’s a gamer. This is incredible Lore.

Oh wow, first Lancer’s face returns, now Berdly is Anime. I love this game.

Oh my god, Ralsei in a tux. I love him.

Alright, so, Lancer needs to go back to Castle Town, and we need to get the heck to Noelle. I hope Berdly’s plan actually works…

Aw, I wanted him to stay tuxedo…

Color Cafe, huh?

Oh god, Rouxls came here. I am terrified.

I love this hype manor song!

Toby Fox, why is there so much 3D Shenanigans in this 2D Top Down RPG???

Note: from here, I end up going to the secret of this chapter. Do not read if you don’t want to be spoiled on that plotline. Skip to where I say Pancake Batter.

Okay, I’m going back, and I’m gonna find this third blue check mark.

Okay, found it, now to get back to the guy…

Yay, fireworks, again!

East treasure’s hallway leading to Basement on 1F…

Oh dear.

So there’s a secret here after all…where is…

Found it!

Okay, how to open this lock, now…hm.

Well, one thing was in the field, so, maybe in the city?

Oh Jesus it’s Spamton.

$28, not a penny more.

KeyGen, huh…

If this is as hard as Jevil, I’m gonna be pissed.

Oh, great, just Kris going in. Again. Fantastic.

Oh what the fuck.

Oh Jesus Christ I hate this build up.

Oh, and I died on the elevator. That’s fun.

Okay, so I hate this elevator. A lot.

Okay! Took like six tries, but I made it past the elevator! Now, let’s see what’s waiting for me…

EmptyDisk…hmmmmmmmm…

Maybe take that back to Scamton or whoever?

…Ralsei, Susie, what are you two doing?

Okay, trash man, you better like this.

Oh Jesus Christ.

Okay, this is not what I expected to follow Jevil’s lead. But, let’s see what happens when I turn this disk in.

Oh, nothing happened. Sure it did. Just gonna walk away then…

Oh, wouldn’t you know it, something happened!

Okay, so big puppet robot man. This is terrifying.

THANK YOU SUSIE!

Roller coaster boss! Again! Oh good!

YELLOW SOUL!

Can’t write notes, gotta kill.

Spamton, oh my god. And it’s Neo’s outfit. How the fuck did I not realize before?

Im terrified, let’s GOOOOOO!

Holy shit is that the Undertale Game Over message??????

Many tries later

Okay, I think it’s actually Ralsei and Susie talking…

Quitting the game so they can get their healing items out of storage and buy some good ones extra later

Okay, third turn, and I’ve only been hit once! Granted, it did almost 50 damage to Susie, but, still, doing better this time!

Even more death later

Did he just, attack himself?

Is he surrendering?

I…I did it! I did it in one sitting! Minus quitting so I could grab healing items that did more than 40 HP!

Oh, he killed him by freeing him…….okay.

Dealmaker, huh? Let’s see what this bad boy is…

+4 defense, +5 magic (even on Kris?), and $+30%…”and…?”

Okay, Ralsei, you get that, Susie get’s Jevilstail, and I get many questions.

Alright, now back to the actual plot!

Oh…Kris has goosebumps, and Susie’s asking if they’re okay…no. I’m saying no.

I love these two so much. Now let’s save the adorable lesbian.

Pancake Batter. Alright, we’re good.

Sorry, Noelle, got distracted.

Mouse wheel!

Tasque manager helped!

Man, this room is big and empty, with an odd exit door and screens on the north wall. Hmmmm…

Toby!

Thank you annoying dog!

Okay, I still love this music. Just wanted to say that. Anyways, PROGRESS!

We’re tea covered now. Except Susie. She’s tea filled.

Oh god, I don’t trust Berdly with Susie.

God, Knight teased.

Duck ride with Fluffy Boy.

Okay, so, puzzle time, methonk.

High Five!

More duck ride!

Ralsei, do you wanna do the kissy?

Oh boy.

Oh jeez.

Oh damn.

Rouxls.

Ralsei, you read my mind.

Oh Jesus it’s the tank from the first game.

Okay, so, we, take houses? Okay.

I can’t believe some people thought this dork was Gaster.

Wow, I beat him in like 3 and a half turns because I blocked him in.

Another God Dammit because SOMEONE didn’t pay attention to what happened to Lancer.

His head is still blue…

Hey, Camera! Peace signs and hugs!

Mostly hugs.

Yay, more Susie and Noelle time!

Oh my god, my heart is breaking.

Okay, I love these adorable girls.

Oh boy, this is, weird.

“Point and hearts come out” or “Eat moss”. The choice of a generation.

Fair point, Susie.

She likes scary things, huh.

Kinky

Have I mentioned how much I love these two? Because I do.

Susie and Noelle are best girls ever, no objections.

Oh good, Berdly, don’t ruin this completely, okay?

I fucking knew it.

Noelle, you’re going to kill him, and that’s okay with me.

Susie, stop squishing him like toothpaste!

Oh boy, I get big “final boss” energy right now…

Werewerewire?!

Okay, so I just stole from Noelle’s room.

Okay, boss time.

Shit, I should’ve healed up.

Okay, so, I died, but, I can fix that!

So, this boss is calling back to how the town’s internet has gone out, a fact I didn’t even learn until watching other content last night when I should have been sleeping, because I forgot to talk to Alphys during the brief chance I had.

Also, now both she and Ralsei have made reference to the real world outside…hmmmm…

So I guess the plot is about Google search being evil…yeah that checks out.

Bitch, did you just funny runny way?

Hmm, I’d say 50/50 odds of him being a drama Queen vs. him trying to trick Susie into caring about him.

Yep, he’s trying to score a kiss. Berdly…get a job.

Alright, let’s save Noelle, and possibly the whole town.

The “Roaring” Knight?

Oh god, the determination…who is this Knight, what is going on, and how involved are we?

Wait wait wait wait wait wait WAIT

When she described the Knight making more darkness, she said they took their blade, and showed an image of a knife. Was…was this…

HOLY SHIT IS KRIS’S NIGHT SELF THE KNIGHT?!?!

Oh. It was a giant robot. Not a statue.

Susie’s dancing!

Oh yeah, he can fly.

Resistance! Yay!

Okay, so, we sentai up in this bitch.

I wonder how the hell this story would go if we didn’t go pacifist then? Because in Chapter 1, all that really changed was how the boss was defeated in the cutscene, and like a couple details later. This is, a lot more than that.

Okay, so, three rounds of HP, punch out for her turns, just keep attacking. Got it.

Two rounds down, one to go!

Yes, eat your own Baseball, bitch!

Oh, suicide attack. Well it was just a robot.

Oh. She still has us.

Oh fuck the robot is Noelle’s mom. Fuck.

Okay, so, Queen is dead.

Oh fuck, don’t take over the world with darkness all of you, please.

The Roaring?

Oh fuck, new legend lore.

Titans, Fountains, enveloping the land in devastation. Oh jeez.

Lost eternally in an endless night…that’s not paradise. That’s hell.

QUEEN IS ALIVE?!?! AND DIDN’T KNOW ANY OF THAT?!?!

Thank you, Susie!

Okay, that’s a good ending for a second chapter, it’s dark fountain time!

Susie, please don’t turn evil.

…

And, we’re in the computer lab!

Wait, Ms. Boom? Does, does Gerson have a daughter, or wife?

Lost control laughing #3: this

I love this game so much. Time to explore town again.

Okay, Alphys does crush on Undyne still, at least.

Oops, I just let all the prisoner dogs out.

Awww, Undyne likes Alphys too!

Napstablook, I love you.

Oh shit, Asgore used to be a pig?

Oh god, this Rudy storyline is gonna be depressing all the way through, huh?

Susie, can we steal the tower of the gods?

Hey, we can actually go back to Ralsei’s dark world?!

Okay, this is gonna be interesting.

Oh thank god, we can save in the epilogue now, cool.

Oh cool, King and Queen together.

Oh my god he calls her Queenie Beanie. I love this.

So, a card and a computer fucked to make Lancer, who is a card. Okay.

Okay, so Lancer DOES know Kris’s name! Just not Ralsei’s!

New battle challenges! Yes!

Might save “Ch. 2 All-stars” for another time, though…

Perfection is the mannequin reaction.

Oh my god there’s a dedicated room for listening to music I love this

Alright, time to skedaddle back to the real world.

Okay, so Alvin is Gerson’s son, and he’s depressed. Fun.

Oh, MK and Snowy are by the creepy bunker. That’s…fun.

Okay, so, Susie scared them off after they insulted Kris, because Kris said something about the bunker…hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…

Hey, Nice Cream Guy is one of the Ice-E’s employees! Nice!

Ah, PizzaPants. Never change.

Oh hey, it’s the little guy, who’s clone is a Gaster follower. And the bird guy’s still in the library, and the donut guy is still in his car…

Hey, Catty and Bratty are becoming friends again! Cool!

Omg, Sans’s store is open. Do I…go in?

Hell yes I do!

Okay, so, Grillby’s music still, but, different interior. Interesting…

Sans, a day and 2 years in this game are not equivalent. It’s a day and 3 years.

The trousle grows further away.

Oh jeez Susie’s been drinking the milk. Oh god.

Cool, Susie’s seeing Onion too!

Oh, never mind.

A song is coming from deep under the water…either Shyren is involved, or this is gonna take a turn.

See you, Su-

Oh! Hey mom! Meet Susie!

Pie for all!

Oh my god, Susie, my heart is breaking.

Okay, so Alphys and Toriel know about the chalk. That, kinda makes Susie thinking she’d get expelled for it, really depressing.

Okay, so, Toriel and Susie are gonna make Pie together, that’s cool. Still, pretty worried about, Kris.

Uh, I just ran the sink, and, uh…

WHAT THE FUCK

OKAY SO MY SOUL IS UNDER THE SINK, KRIS WHAT ARE YOU DOING WHY IS IT BLACK OUT THE WINDOW WHERE ARE YOU GOING

WHAT THE FUCK

…so we get a cute scene with Susie and Toriel, then Susie asks where Kris is and…they do this sometimes?

I’m very concerned.

Okay, Toriel is concerned too, enough to say “hell”. Even Susie is shocked.

Okay, so, they’re coming back, uh, okay, this isn’t good, right?

Stopped the faucet, opened the drawer, and…we’re back?!

Kris what the fuck are you doing

And why couldn’t we find Asgore in the town?

Okay, so, we’re all sleeping in the living room. I, guess tomorrow’s the weekend, probably? I don’t know?

Susie, doesn’t have caring parents, I guess?

Oh god, Susie wants them to come to our world, but, Lancer is a playing card, he can’t…I don’t know. I’ll say it’s “far-fetched”.

There’s a festival, apparently. This seems…suspicious.

I’d take Ralsei, so you could take Noelle.

She’s asleep.

That, might not be good, in this context.

Okay, so, we’re asleep too, I think?

Oh god, Toriel’s tires are slashed, that can not be good, in any way.

Okay, night time, Toriel and Susie are asleep…now what are you doing, Kris?

That, knife…

Okay, so, yep, they’re the Knight, and they just opened Darkness in their living room. This is, not, good. And, the tv’s on, and the door’s unlocked…

What the fuck is happening?

Ending credits song sounds, techno? Is this more of Don’t Forget? Or a remix? I hear the lyrics at least.

“To be continued in Chapter 3” OH IT BETTER BE, TOBY

So, yeah, that's Deltarune Chapter 2. In conclusion: this explains nothing, raises 120% more questions, and overall is still an incredible, wonderful game. I also like how each Chapter so far has been almost as long as a full play through of Undertale, and yet we're still somehow only 2 sevenths of the way through. Oh yeah, did I not mention? After completing it, it brought me to a chapter select with SEVEN DIFFERENT CHAPTERS, only two of which were available. So, you know. THAT'S FUN!

In actual conclusion, please play this game, it's free, it's amazing, and also buy the soundtrack on Bandcamp so Toby can make some kinda living.

[rotting-clowns]

Surrender: part one - Levi

GN!Reader

This is the first part of a series of fics focused on dom mc/sub demon brothers! Part two (Lucifer) can be found here.

I wanna explore different dynamics with every fic, so this one is much softer and shier than the others will (probably) be, as it’s meant to be a first time, exploring the theme fic. 

CW: smut, dom/sub undertones, light praise kink

You cross the hallway as quietly as possible. It’s the start of the night and you’re not really sure who’s around the dorm at this hour. You recheck your phone, more out of nervousness than anything. It’s a simple message, just one sentence that would be easy to dismiss to anyone else. 

I think I’m ready.

It’s something you and Levi had talked about many times before. He admitted to wanting to submit, and while that sounded almost scary to you, the thrill of being able to fully love him with no restrains had you on edge since the first conversation. 

Now, after long days of planning, he finally texted you. That one sentence was more than enough to shake your core, but there was no hesitation as you left the library and rushed to the house of lamentation. 

However, as you stand in front of the door to your room. The knowledge that he was açready inside makes your head spins with the possible outcomes. You want this to go smoothly, want to show Levi you are here for him fully, ready to take care of him whenever need be. It’s nerve-wracking to think about how much trust he is placing upon your hands.

But you want this. You both do, and you know there’s nothing that you can’t overcome together. The first sign is already in front of you, just on the other side of the door: he texted, he trusts. 

You open the door and walk inside. 

He’s standing by the window, looking out. 

“Levi,” you say, approaching him.

“Oh, Y/N,” he turns to you, “I didn’t see you come in.”

“How are you?” 

He smiles, welcoming you into a hug. “I’m okay,” a chuckle, “Are we really doing this?”

You push away to look him in the eyes. “Only if you want to.”  

He nods, hands finding yours. You squeeze them, intertwining your fingers. 

“I do,” it slips from his lips as no more than a whisper, but you smile all the same. 

Things progress naturally from then. His lips are on yours, soft and unsure at first, but gaining confidence when you kiss back and wrap your hands around his waist. You stumble together through the room, never breaking apart. 

His tongue is heaven against yours, a gulp of fresh water for the thirsty sinner you became with him. The kiss was addictive, always left you wanting more of his touch, more of him all around you. Tonight, you will have just that. The thought alone makes you dizzy. 

The back of your knees hit the frame of the bed and you fall, giggling under him. 

Levi laughs, pushing himself up so your eyes meet. “Are you okay?” he asks, breathing heavily.

“Yeah,” you laugh as well, running soft patterns with your fingers on his arm.

You stay like that for a moment, simply gazing into each other’s eyes. You don’t think you’ll ever get over the wild starfire trapped in his irises. His breath evens out bit by bit, remains of laughter slowly dying. You just look at him, feeling stuck in that moment. 

You wouldn’t mind if it lasted forever. 

But the night is young, and it brings promises neither of you want to break.

You touch a hand to his cheek, caressing it with your thumb. “Do you trust me?”

He closes his eyes, placing his own hand on top of yours. “I do. So much.”

“Okay,” you take a deep breath, “Okay, baby.”

His lips are on yours again, then, and the world seems lost in time. You pull him closer, rolling so you’re the one on top, and trace your lips down his jaw, suckling lightly on his collarbones. His breath hitches and he bares his neck, eyes squeezed shut in pleasure. You bite at the junction of his neck, teeth grazing against skin and he moans. 

It’s your favorite sound in the world. 

Your hands start roaming as you keep kissing, touching every dip and curve of his body. He sighs loudly, eyes burning with untamed lust that drives you crazy. You feel it all around you, buzzing through the air, setting the entire room in a heavy atmosphere. It makes your lungs ache and your head spin in the most wonderful of ways. 

Your hand find his shirt and you pull it off of him, revealing the full view of his chest and legs. He takes the next step further, tugging down his own pants. It’s desperate and exhilarating: you, fully clothed above his naked form.

Without hesitating, your hand finds its way to his cock, teasing the head with the tip of your fingers, leaving goosebumps on your wake. 

“Please…” he whispers, mouth agape. 

“What, baby?” you can’t mask the teasing tone in your voice, “What do you want?”

He whines, thrashing lightly on the bed. His face is flushed and he reaches down. 

“Oh no, no, baby.” You say, taking his hands on yours and holding them up above his head. You run a finger on the underside of his cock, relishing on the way precum is slowly dripping from his tip. “Use your words.”

“Hgnnn,” he tries, squeezing his eyes, “please, Y/N…”

You let him take his time, keeping your fingers steady at the head of his cock once more, thumb digging slightly on his slit. 

“Make me feel good?” he asks, looking at you through his long eyelashes, glassy eyes focused on your face.

You smirk. “Good boy.” 

Without waiting anymore, you trace your hand all the way to the base of his cock, engulfing it. He breathes out in relief at your touch, body melting onto the bed. You tug at his cock slowly, spreading precum all over it. The slide is a little bit easier like that, but still not enough. 

With a sneer, you lift your hand towards his face. “Lick it for me, baby?”

He laps at your palm almost exasperatedly, coating all of it with saliva. 

“Good boy,” you smile, tucking a loose strand of purple hair behind his ear, “so good for me.”

“Yeah, want to be good,” he nods, voice slurring in the slightest. 

Your lips meet his in an avid kiss as you glide your hand back to his cock. It’s a messy kiss, too much tongue and little coordination, but it fits the moment perfectly. You bite at his lower lip, receiving a mewl in response. It’s maddening. 

Your hand starts pumping his cock in time with the small kisses you litter all over his face. 

“I love you,” your voice is spent, but Levi keens. 

A kiss to the corner of his lips. 

“You’re perfect.”

Your tongue finds his jawline and you lick a stripe down to the base of his neck, sucking hickeys on your way. He’d complain about them the next day but for now, you just enjoyed the way his skin blemished red under your ministrations. 

You keep making your way down, biting a nipple just to hear him mewl. He’s sensitive everywhere, a fact you had gotten to know in the time you’ve been together, and one you plan to take full advantage of, abusing the buds with your tongue and teeth until they’re puffy and raw. 

It drives him crazy. The feeling of your hand, soft and slow on his dripping length mixed with the harshness of your mouth on his nipples drives soft cries out of him, puts his just on the edge, where you want him most. 

“I’m gonna-” he breathes out, unable to form full sentences, “Y/N, I’m gonna-”

Your fingers are back around the base of his cock, tightening. 

He thrashes, ruined pleasure washing over him with so much intensity tears prickle on his eyes. 

“Why would you do that?” a whines, followed by a single tear trailing down his cheek.

“Because I can?” Your voice bears mock innocence.

He drops his head, groaning. “That was mean.”

You smirk. “There’s more where that came from.” 

He smiles, covering his face with his hands. His voice comes out muffled, but you manage to make out the words. 

“Show me?”

You smile to yourself. This will be a fun night. 

Masterlist

[aedelia]

Burnt Bacon and Bright Stars

Truce present for @grimgrinningghoul​ !

Danny has had a lot on his mind since he got his powers.  Even more so since he dealt with Spectra.  He decides to trust his family and finds that some things never change. AO3 | FF.net

Burnt Bacon and Bright Stars

 Danny was stretched out on his favorite starry blue blanket while looking up at the night sky.  His father was next to him on a big blanket the same color as Mars and talking about ghosts. His voice was big and bounced off the shiny walls as he waved his arms around. Danny liked how his dad talked with his hands and tonight, he’d used his hands to point out Ursa Major and Ursa Minor.  To Danny, his father was like Ursa Major, large and bright, and he was Ursa Minor, smaller but still just like him.

“And when the Ops Center is complete, those ghosts won’t be able to hide anymore! This baby will have the most advanced ectoplasm sensing satellites scanning for traces all over the northern hemisphere!”

Danny looked up at his father and wistfully said, “I wanna be a ghost someday. Then I can go to space and fly to the moon.” He rolled over on his side, propped his chin on his hand, and his elbow on the floor. His dad rolled over and mirrored Danny’s position. 

“Oh Danny-boy, you don’t want to be a ghost. Ghosts are scary and want to hurt people.”

“Nuh-uh, I would be a good ghost and not be scary. I would even make sure to do all of my chores and help old ladies with their groceries!”

Daddy said, “But Danny-boy, Mommy and Daddy hunt ghosts. We try to catch them and protect people because ghosts are bad.”

Danny pouted before shaking his head, “I would be a good ghost and save people instead of hurt them, like a superhero!”

His dad chuckled as he stood up.  “Ghost powers would be good superpowers for heroes if they weren’t bad,” he said.

Danny sat up. 

“Ghost powers would be the best for exploring outer space!  If you don’t need to breathe then you wouldn’t need an oxygen tank and you could carry a whole bunch of useful tools and bring back space rocks. If you could go intangible then you wouldn’t have to worry about friction leaving or reentering the atmosphere, you wouldn’t need a space suit and could just fly straight to the moon!” Danny pointed up at the full moon which brightly shined over the town. “It would be so easy to explore the other planets in our solar system with ghost powers.  Dust on Mars wouldn’t be a problem, storms on Jupiter wouldn’t be a problem. I could go count the rings of Saturn and compare them to Jupiter’s ring.”

Danny hugged his knees to his chest before asking, “Daddy, would you and Mommy hunt me if I was a ghost? Even if I was a good ghost?”

Danny’s father crouched next to him and put  his large hand on the boy’s shoulder, “If you were a ghost, I would know you’re good, even if you have big teeth and pointy claws and horns,” He scooped him up and gently swung him around through the air, “Even if you turned green and hairy.  As long as you’re Danny I will always love you!” He brought his son to face him, “Even if you turned into a ghost, you’ll always be my little boy.”

Danny giggled and put his hands on his father’s cheeks and gave him nose kisses.  “I love you too Daddy!”

--

Jack gathered the blankets and slung them over one shoulder and Danny over the other.  He carried the giggling boy down the stairs all the way to the kitchen.  He plopped his son into his chair. 

“Well, Mommy and Jazzy-pants should be back soon from the store, and I think they’re bringing home pizza!”

Danny laughed at the nickname for his sister before cheering, “Yay!  Pizza!” He threw his hands in the air. “Do the pizza dance, Daddy!”

Jack sighed dramatically before smiling and saying, “Ok, I’ll do the pizza dance.”

He danced around the kitchen, waving his arms and occasionally chanting, “Pizza! Pizza!  I want some pizza!”  

Danny wiggled in his seat and yelled, “Pizza! Pizza!” every time his dad did.  They were loud enough that neither of them heard the click of the front door opening and shutting, or noticed that Maddie and Jazz were home until Maddie’s voice joined in the song..

“Pizza, pizza, here’s the pizza!” She sang as she danced into the kitchen with two big pizza boxes.  

Jazz bounced into the room chattering about how excited she was to start first grade and how happy she was to have the big colored pencil box that had all of the important colors and its own special sharpener. Jack danced around Maddie before he pulled her into a spin and dipped her for a kiss while his other hand held the pizza boxes steady. 

“Ewww.” Danny and Jazz said together.

When Jack released Maddie and took the pizzas, she asked, “So what have you two boys been up to while we were gone?”

Jack turned to put the boxes on the counter. As he grabbed paper plates and napkins out of the cupboard he replied, “Me and Danny were taking advantage of the clear sky and were stargazing up in the ops center.”

Maddie turned back to face him with her hands on her hips and a mild look of disapproval. 

“I hope you cleaned up the floor before you let Danny up there,” she said.

Jack kissed her on the forehead before he passed her some plates.

“Don’t worry, I cleaned up the floor and made sure to put down blankets.”

Maddie beamed up at Jack while Danny and Jazz made gagging sounds at their affection.

“I also told Danny a little about ghosts and what they can do.”

“I want to be a ghost someday!” Danny exclaimed from his seat at the table.

“A ghost? Jack!” Maddie scolded as she turned from Danny’s beaming face to Jack’s stiff shoulders.

She kneeled next to Danny’s chair. 

“Danny, why would you want to be a ghost? Ghosts are bad and they attack people.” She explained.

“Ghost powers would be the best for exploring outer space! And I could do my chores faster and go to the Moon and Mars and all of the other planets!” He rambled. “I would be a nice superhero ghost Mommy.”

“I suppose those would be some good uses for ghost powers, sweetie.” She said as she ruffled his hair.

Jazz piped up from across the table, “Ghosts aren’t real, but if they were, Danny couldn’t be a scary or mean ghost even if he tried. So, Danny would be a good ghost if they did exist.”

Maddie smiled and said, “Yes, our Danny couldn’t be a bad ghost. If either of you were ghosts we would still love you.”

--

Danny leaned forward in bed and stretched his arms out over his head. The last several nights he had been thinking hard about whether or not he should tell his parents the truth about his accident. His powers were pretty much under control now. He hadn’t had any intangibility or invisibility accidents for at least a couple of weeks. He had been trying to remember all the times that his parents had mentioned ghosts before the portal was built. This had been on his mind so much now that he had continued to relive his memories in his dreams. If there was a ghost that could affect dreams or memories he’d be concerned, but he hadn’t heard of any with powers like that. 

The memory he had dreamt of this time was from when he was little. He remembered the unfinished walls of the ops center and the silly dance his dad would do whenever they had pizza. Maybe this was the sign he needed that it was time to tell them. 

Danny grabbed his phone from the nightstand and called Tucker. His heart felt like it was beating in his ears as the other line rang. After a few unending seconds, he heard a click, and then Tucker’s voice.

“Danny? Are you ok?”

“Tucker, you know how I’ve been thinking about telling my parents about the whole half ghost thing? I had a dream last night and I remembered that when I was little I told them I wanted to be a ghost.”

There was a lengthy pause before Tucker groaned, “Dude. It’s 4 am.”

Danny cringed slightly as he looked over at his alarm clock.

“Were they ok with you wanting to be a ghost when you were a little kid?” Tucker asked. “Because I can’t see them being too thrilled about it. Even back when we were little they were pretty anti-ghost.”

“I remember I told them I wanted to be a ghost because ghost powers would be great for exploring space and the Moon. I even told them how I would use the basic powers to go into space if I was a ghost. They wanted to remind me that ghosts were bad but they did say that if I was a ghost they wouldn’t hunt me. Dad even said that ghost powers would be good superpowers.”

“Well it seems like you already want to tell them and I have been saying you should tell them since you got your powers. Have you even tried to go to space since you got them?” he asked.

“Tucker,” Danny groaned. “I’ve been way too busy trying to deal with the ghosts that’ve been invading and trying not to flunk all of my classes to even think about going to space.”

Tucker snorted. “I’m sure you’ve managed to at least think of it, but seriously, it’s probably a good idea to tell them before something bad happens and someone gets hurt. Who knows what kind of nasty ghost could attack next?”

“Yeah, you’re right. The longer I wait the harder this’ll be. Thanks for helping me talk it out.”

“Sure thing, buddy. Just, try to keep the existential dilemmas and mental crises to daylight hours.”

“I make no promises.” Danny chuckled.

“Alright, fair enough. But if that’s everything, talk to you later. I’ll even warn Sam for you so she won’t try to talk you out of it.”

“Thanks Tucker, you’re the best.”

“You know it!” Tucker answered before hanging up the call.

Danny laid back down, thoughts racing, as he tried to think of how to tell his parents.

“Hey Mom and Dad, you remember how the ghost portal wasn’t working at first? Well I did get it to start…but I happened to be inside it?” He dragged his hand over his face with a groan. 

“Hey you know how we aren’t supposed to be messing around in the lab because it’s dangerous? Well I may have disregarded the rules…but at least now the portal is working?” He grabbed his hair and tugged at it in frustration.

“Maybe I should start with Jazz. I know she has to believe in ghosts now since she saw Phantom and Spectra after the Spirit Rally last week. She did say that I can talk to her about anything though I doubt this was what she was expecting.”

Decision now made, Danny slid out of bed and crept down the hall to Jazz’s room. Her door was slightly ajar with light spilling into the hallway so she must’ve been awake.  He lightly knocked on the door and poked his head in through the gap. 

Jazz sat in bed in comfortable pajamas with a book in hand.

“Danny? You’re up early.” She checked the clock. “I’m surprised to see you before noon on a Saturday. Come in. Is something wrong?”

Danny shuffled into the room and softly closed the door behind him. He rubbed the back of his neck as he stood by the entrance.  His eyes skipped past his sister’s face as they roved over the bookshelves stuffed with psychology and science textbooks. She still had all of her spelling bee medals pinned and hanging around the border of the cork board behind her desk.  With posters of quotes from famous scientists intermixed with handwritten motivational phrases, her personality practically oozed from the walls. Now that he was actually in her room, it was like all of his confidence had just evaporated.

As the silence dragged longer, Jazz put her book aside and patted the bed next to her.  Danny gingerly stepped forward before he perched on the edge of the bed.

Jazz rolled her eyes and pulled him closer. Once she had rearranged the blankets to cover both of them she said lightly, “Just like when we were little and you would sneak into my bed after nightmares.”

Danny chuckled, tension broken, and said, “Speaking of when we were little, do you remember right when you were in, I don’t know, first grade, and I told Mom and Dad that I wanted to be a ghost someday?”

He felt her go very still. She stared straight ahead for a long moment before she shook her head and answered.

“I do remember that. They were still doing that ridiculous pizza dance back then. Wasn’t that before they finished the Ops Center?  You used to stargaze up there with whoever you could convince to go up with you.”

“Yeah,” he confirmed. “Well, remember how we basically all agreed that I couldn’t be a bad or scary ghost even if I tried?”

“I do remember that, too.” she laughed. “Of course, now we all know that ghosts actually do exist. But I stand by what I said back then, even if ghosts exist, you wouldn’t be a bad ghost.”

Danny managed a half smile and took a deep breath. 

“So a few months ago when I had the accident in the lab I got more than just a shock. I was in the portal when it turned on and ever since I’ve had ghost powers and can turn into a ghost. I’m not dead! I can turn back to well, mostly normal, very easily. The ghosts call me the halfa, half ghost, half boy. I’ve been catching the ghosts that come through the portal and putting them back in the ghost zone. They aren’t all bad either. I’ve met a few nice ghosts that live in, well haunt, the human world. They’ve been really friendly and helpful! Some of them just want to be left alone, you know? I’m rambling now aren’t I?” 

Danny paused for a breath and raised his head from his knees to how Jazz was taking it. She smiled at him.

“Uh, Jazz? Are you going to say anything?”

Instead of responding, she pulled him into a tight hug. It took a moment for him to relax.

“Jazz?” he asked with a sniff, “C’mon you can’t just-“

“I am so proud of you!” she said. “I know it was very brave of you to tell me a big secret like that.”

“Wait, you already knew?” he asked.

“I suspected something was going on for a while, but I only found out last week during the Spectra thing at the Spirit Rally. I was hoping you would tell me when you were ready. I’m proud of you for telling me, and for all you’ve been doing to protect everyone. I’ve been doing what I could to help cover for you with Mom and Dad and your teachers.”

“You have?” He asked, eyebrows creeping into his hairline.

“I may be your bossy big sister, but I care for you and I don’t want to make things harder or more stressful for you.” She paused, and then asked, “Are you planning on telling Mom and Dad next?”

“I thought you just said that you were trying not to make things more stressful for me.” Danny teased. “But yeah, I guess remembering how supportive they were when we were little was the push that I needed to be ready.”

“Well, I’m sure they’re awake now, and the kitchen should be pretty safe right now. I made them clean up their experiments yesterday. If you’re ready, now would be a good time.”

“Yeah…you’re right, it just feels like a lot to tell them. Even knowing that they’ll accept me, I’m still worried that they won’t see me the same, or that they’ll want me to stop hunting ghosts.” Danny said as he slipped out of her arms and off the bed. “Will you come down and back me up when I tell them?” he asked.

“Of course I will! Just give me a couple of minutes to grab a few things and I’ll be right down.”

Jazz flipped her blankets off revealing her favorite pajamas that were covered in different scientific formulas.

“You’re still a nerd.” Danny said as he ducked back out of her room.

“And you’re a dork.” She retorted.

“I love you too!” he called as he headed towards the stairs.

Danny paused at the top of the steps and pulled out his phone to message his friends.

Danny:           About to tell my parents

                      Wish me luck!

Tucker:          You don’t need luck

Sam:              If things go bad come to my house, I can hide you in                                      my closet.  

                      it’s big enough to have its own ensuite

Tucker:          Sweet!

He let out a humorless chuckle and put his phone away. A few seconds later Jazz walked up behind him with a large binder titled, Reasons Why Not All Ghosts are Bad, and Especially not Danny.

“You had enough time to make a whole thing of why ghosts aren’t all bad?” he asked.

“Don’t be silly, I’ve been working on this since the first ghosts showed up and started adding in the bits specifically about you last week. I thought it might come in handy one day to have all of the evidence together.”

“I both admire and fear your organization.” Danny said.

Jazz sniffed imperiously and said, “As you should.”

Danny went down the stairs slowly with Jazz trailing behind him. He stopped at the doorway to the kitchen, but Jazz gave him a gentle push across the threshold.

“Morning, sweetie!” his mom called from the stove where she was frying up surprisingly non-ectoplasmic bacon and eggs.

“Good Morning, son!” his father said from the kitchen table where he was tinkering with a gadget, parts strewn all across the tabletop.

From behind him, Jazz facepalmed and muttered, “So much for keeping the kitchen clean.” 

Danny cleared his throat. 

“Mom, Dad, I have something I need to tell you.” He picked at one of the holes in his pajama sleeves as he waited for their response.

“Is it about ghosts?” His dad asked.

“Well, kinda.” Danny answered, now rubbing the back of his neck.

“Have ghosts been threatening my boy?” His dad demanded as he leapt up from the table.

“Well yes, and no…” Danny’s voice trailed off. 

“What ectoplasmic scum thinks it can mess with a Fenton? I’ll tear it apart molecule by molecule!” Jack exclaimed with his fist in the air.

“Now Jack, calm down,” Maddie turned from the stove and put her hand on his arm, “I’m sure that whatever is going on will make more sense after Danny has had a chance to tell us about it.”

Danny chuckled nervously, glad that Jazz was behind him for moral support. “Let me just start from the beginning then. A few months ago when I had that accident in the lab and got the portal working, I was a lot closer to it than I told you.”

“How close were you?” Maddie asked.

Danny hugged himself as he answered, “I was inside it, there was an ‘on’ button on the inside and I accidentally hit it while I was looking in it.”

“But Danny, the shock of that much electricity, not to mention the ectoplasm, should have killed you! You were fine when we came home and the portal was working.”

Maddie quickly ran over to him, scrutinizing him for signs of injury.

“I was fine! I still am!” Danny added as he backed away with his hands in the air. “I just had a few more side effects than the tingling and numbness from the shock. What I’m saying is, ever since the accident with the portal, I’ve had ghost powers.”

“Ghost powers? Sweetie, humans can’t have ghost powers.” She put the back of her hand to his forehead to check for a fever and then grabbed his wrist to check his pulse. “You don’t have a fever, and your heartbeat is steady if a bit slow. Honey, you’re not a ghost.”

“I know, I’m still human most of the time, I can turn into a ghost and back at will and can use my powers in either form.” He held up his free hand. “Here, look.” Then he flickered his hand in and out of visibility. 

His mom frowned. “I suppose the high concentration of ectoplasm would have prevented you from crossing to the other side, especially as you would have been effectively on both sides if you were in the portal when it activated. Is this why you’ve been dropping glassware at school?”

“Yeah, getting control of the powers was a little tricky at first and several times they went off while I was holding beakers or flasks in science class. And that’s basically the theory so far, that being in the portal when it activated saved me from actually dying.”

“Son, why did it take so long for you to tell us?” his dad asked.

Danny looked down, unable to meet his dad’s eyes or to look at his mom wrapped around him. “I was afraid.  At first I didn’t want to worry you guys or get in trouble for not obeying lab safety rules. Then I was hunting the ghosts that were attacking the town and I didn’t want you to try to stop me when I’m able to help protect people. I was also worried that you would see me as a ghost instead of your son or not believe me when I told you.” 

“Oh sweetie, of course we believe you’re still you. This does explain why almost all of our inventions were going off around you. You’re very lucky that you didn’t get hurt!  We’ll have to work at modifying them to ignore your signature.” His mom said.

“Whether you’re a boy, a ghost, or something in between, you’re our son and we love you.” Jack added as he picked up both his wife and his son in a hug. “I bet you’ve got all kinds of insider information on ghosts now! Think of how much you can help advance our understanding of ghosts and how they interact with our world!”

“We love you, sweetie. No matter what.” Maddie said.

“I knew everything would be alright.” Jazz cheered as she joined the group hug.

Danny smiled and basked in the acceptance of his family. He’d been pretty sure that they would accept him, but it still felt amazing to have his trust validated.

A moment later, he wrinkled his nose. 

“I think the bacon’s burning.”

Jazz jumped out of the hug.

“I’ve got it! None of you move!” She exclaimed. 

She hurried over to the stove, flipped the bacon, and turned the heat down.

As he sat in his parents’ arms, Danny decided that slightly burnt bacon was his new favorite smell.

[lazywonderlvnd]

Do you have any advice on starting a fic? I haven’t written anything creative in years (10-15?) but I’ve got this vague idea of something I’d like to try. I am simply overwhelmed with how to start not only plotting everything out but just writing again.

firstly I’m so excited for u, it’s such a crazy good feeling to start writing again after a long time of not doing it and I think the main main main thing that’s good to keep in mind as u get started is that ur allowed to just have fun with it and u don’t need to worry about how it sounds. Definitely don’t compare it to anybody else’s writing or set any kind of bar for yourself to achieve. if ur anything like me you’ll get incredibly discouraged incredibly fast if it doesn’t instantly sound like final draft poetry and that’s just silly!!!

as far as getting started, I think what I’d tell u to do is not try and plan. Dont start outlining or plotting if that feels daunting right now. I guarantee u there is no writer alive who instantly knew what their whole story would look like before they even started outlining. Pick whatever scene is in ur head (or even whatever vague emotion you want to convey that’s got you excited and is making u feel like writing) and write THAT. Don’t even bother with a “proper” beginning to the scene. Just jump in mary catherine Gallagher style and start writing whatever is right there at the forefront of ur mind. Not only will that feel fun and not stress out bc you won’t have to stop and think and be tempted to plan, but personally I think we do our very best writing when it’s something that we’re super excited about and if u haven’t written in a decade, it will be so so good for ur creative self esteem to see what u put down on paper (screen) when it’s not being forced out of u in the name of plotting or outlining or starting a scene from the beginning rather than where ur brain feels like starting. If that makes sense. Sometimes if im feeling rly stuck but I have some vague idea of smth I want to write l, I’ll just start writing dialogue and see what happens. you should see the rough drafts @dracoladon has sent me before she fills in detail and exposition and action etc and we all know her final drafts are genius tier.

Find what makes u excited, makes u WANT to write, and do that. Plotting, outlining, that can come later if it feels scary to u. There’s no proper formula to writing, there’s no law that says u must start at the beginning of a story or of a scene or that u have to have any idea fully formed in ur head before u start. It could even be helpful to start with something that has nothing to do with ur idea: place the characters (assuming ur talking Harry and Draco but if not, whatever characters u fancy!!!) in a setting you like and explore it. Put them at the beach, in a forest, walking around, find out what they’re doing as u write. Enjoy doing details and aesthetics and dialogue before u worry about the heavier stuff. Once you dip ur toes in, and once u feel ready, then start outlining or plotting or whatever is best for u. I personally have a really hard time outlining and rly enjoy just writing scene by scene usually. If I start trying to force myself to do smth I’m not comfortable with, it instantly drains me of muse and I don’t wanna write anymore.

Tl;dr try not to stress about plotting and outlining and formulas. Write what ur excited about and let that help u figure out where ur going next. If the very last scene of a fic is what’s in ur head and ur excited about, write that. Even if u have no idea how they got there. Find what makes ur fingers itch and follow that. I really hope this helps, please let me know how it goes, I’m very excited for you!!! ❤️❤️❤️

[vanhelsingenthusiast]

I have no specific Dracula questions, but since I feel like every fan has thoughts on it. What would you do if given infinite budget to adapt Dracula to film?

Oh BOY (in a gender-neutral way, ofc). Ok I’m glad you asked. Also this is going to be very long and I’m so sorry.

 I’m an aspiring screenwriter, and part of the reason why is bc I really wanna make a Dracula adaptation, so here’s some Thoughts: 

First off, I’d probably make it a series with multiple parts, as opposed to a movie. Honestly, I don’t know if one can keep the slowburn ambience of Dracula whilst making it a film. Some of that is due to the epistolary style of the novel, which can’t be adapted properly into any sort of video style, but part of it is also just that there is so much content to unpack in the book. Taking away scenes or characters also takes away from the slowburn aspect. That’s part of what gives Dracula it’s power, imo. The creeping sense of dread you have the entire time you’re reading it. So I’d want something that’s longer in order to really explore that. 

I think one thing I would do would dedicate an entire episode to Jonathan’s time in the castle, just because it’s arguably the most interesting part of the book, and even though most movies do capitalize on it, I just would like to give my own twist as well. It’s really the only time we get to see Dracula up-close and personal, and it’s a great time for characterization. It sets the tone for the rest of the story. 

Of course, in Dracula we get all of his characterization second-hand, which is important. A big part of why he’s such an effective villain is because we don’t know him, we know people’s interpretations of him, so I think I’d keep that aspect as well, mainly by not making him a main character, per se. I won’t do anything like what BBC Dracula tried to do by making him the “hero” of his own story. Also, we’d never see the full extent of his powers, I think, or anything about his background (and he wouldn’t be just Vlad the Impaler. That’s so overdone). Humans fear the unknown, so if someone wants a scary Dracula they have to keep him as unknown as possible. Part of the appeal of Dracula is there are so many different ways to interpret him because we don’t know anything substantial about him. 

I’d also like to tell the story of the Demeter. Maybe I’d dedicate a whole episode to it, or have it be the primary plot and have Lucy and Mina in Whitby be the sub-plot. This would probably be episode 2. Of course, going off of keeping Dracula unknown, it would focus more on the sailors, and they wouldn’t know Dracula is among them. I’ve been thinking and reading more about different interpretations of what actually happened on the Demeter, and one theory that has struck me as very interesting is the idea that (I think?) the second mate went kinda “insane” (for lack of a better term) whilst trying to find Dracula onboard, and he was the one who committed the murders, not Count Dracula. And while I won’t have it so that only the second mate kills everyone, we do know from Renfield that Dracula has a corrupting influence, so I think I’d play with the idea that Dracula influenced to kill some of the sailors, and Dracula killed the others. 

Of course, I’d have Vancula. I’ve been toying with the idea that they’re ex-lovers and Van Helsing left him years prior due to Dracula killing people, but I’ve also been toying with the idea that they have no prior knowledge of each other, and I’ve been toying with the idea that they know of each other and both view each other as formidable enemies. Van Helsing knows of Dracula due to his research (I’m sure he has former experiences with vampires), and Dracula knows of Van Helsing because, well, I’d imagine he’d be very cautious about any potential vampire hunters. Especially when said vampire hunters have, like, four doctorates and intimate knowledge of vampire anatomy. 

I’d also add elements of Westenray, because,,,,,,,,imsuperfrickingayandilovethem. Lucy would be more like she is in the book -- very caring, sweet, innocent, and less like how she is in most adaptations. She is (in my mind) almost definitely pan and polyam, and in love with all the suitors and Mina. I want that to shine through. 

Mina and Van Helsing would be portrayed as the smartest characters, because,,,,they are, lmao. And I would definitely have Mina be one of the most important characters. Like, she’s the entire reason why they’re able to kill Dracula. I’ve been thinking a lot about her going off kind of on her own after all The Boys tell her she’s not allowed to participate in the whole hunt anymore, and it maybe culminating in an altercation between her and Dracula where she finds out something vital about him. Idk, I haven’t figured it all out yet, but I think Mina is capable enough to do Shit On Her Own. 

Ok, well this has gotten long enough, so I’ll end it with this:

Lots of religious symbolism. Also symbolism around white and red roses. Dracula’s death is very ambiguous (just as it is in the book). Do with that what you will. 

[chainofclovers]

@little-brisk tagged the entire internet a la livejournal, and I will do the same! Answer these if you wanna answer them. 

1. Name/Nicknames: off to a great start by refusing to put my real name here! however, my fandom nickname is CoC or just “coc” which makes me laugh

2. Gender: (cis) woman, lazy femme, lesbian

3. Star Sign: scorpio! i’m not scary but i am very much a scorpio

4. Height: 5′3″ (i’m actually a bit taller than 5′3″ but it sounds like I’m saying “I’m six and three-quarters years old!” to say I’m 5′3.5″. But I am between 5′3″ and 5′4″.

5. Time: 9:28 a.m. eastern time

6. Birthday: November 4. My birthday is pretty much always me being filled with election anxiety, recovering from election anxiety, or experiencing the day of a massive election. I do not recommend being born at the start of the month in which an unstable democracy re-ups itself!

7. Favourite Band: right now it’s The Weather Station!!!!!!

8. Favourite Solo Artist: Dusty Springfield

9. Song Stuck in My Head: hahahah “Black Rainbows” by Cut Copy because I used a line from the song to title a fic I wrote yesterday

10. Last Movie: watched I Care a Lot last weekend

11. Last Show: my wife and i are about to start watching season four of Dix Pour Cent (Call My Agent) on Netflix. it’s so good!

12. When I Created This Blog: summer 2014!

13. What I Post: feelings about fictional women and real women

14. Last Thing I Googled: “torrey peters” (I’m reading Detransition, Baby right now and it’s so good and I wanted to know a bit more about her!)

15. Other Blogs: I have a website and a tumblr under my real name. That tumblr gets no use anymore and hasn’t for years.

16. Do I get asks?: Not super often, but sometimes! I get asks when I request prompts or ask questions, and sometimes I get really lovely anon (or not anon!) asks out of the blue. I rarely get anything nasty.

17. Why I Chose My URL: because it’s the same as my (nearly) meaningless fic pseudonym

18. Following: 306

19. Followers: 1020

20. Average Hours of Sleep: probably about 7?

21. Lucky Number: 22

22. Instruments: lol, I used to play the clarinet and you should feel glad I don’t anymore. Haven’t since middle school!

23. What I Am Wearing: I am still wearing my pajamas, which are some olive green sweatpants and a brewery t-shirt and a grey sweatshirt

24. Dream Job: I don’t entirely know my answer to this question. My dream life is a writing life, and I have as close to that as I can without literally quitting my job in order to write only the things that I, specifically, want to write. And I don’t want to do that because my feelings about my day job exist on the spectrum of like to love pretty much daily. Even if I’m usually stressed out I am very, very privileged and blessed in my work.

25. Dream Trip: Mexico City but probably not until I’ve learned more Spanish. I’d love to go back to the UK at some point. And I want to explore more of Canada! Oooh and the plains here in the U.S. 

26. Favourite Food: homemade bread, by itself or with salted butter or with spicy peanut butter or with butter and radishes. i also love spicy food, especially thai curries, and vegetables (esp broccoli and broccoli rabe) roasted until they’re a little crisp, and lots of different potato-related foods, and the best thing I’ve cooked recently is salmon in a miso-maple glaze and the best thing my wife has cooked recently was this chickpea dish with greens and lots of cheese, omg

27. Nationality: american. womp womp

28. Favourite Song: "time (the revelator)” by Gillian Welch

29. Last Book I Read: the last book I finished was the care and feeding of waspish widows by Olivia Waite (fun book with a terrible cover, MAYBE IT’S JUST ME but if I’d written a book in which a fat forty-something woman is rightfully and happily an object of great sexual desire I’d be miffed if my book came out with a stock photo-style portrait of two thin women in their early thirties at most)

30. Top 3 fictional universes I would love to live in: 

Girl, Woman, Other by Bernardine Evaristo because reading that book was like meeting new friend after new friend and I really missed them after the book was over! I gave the book to one of my aunts for Christmas and she told me she felt like she’d just met a bunch of new people, and it made me so happy that she had that reaction too.

I am not cut out for a life on the run but all the outdoor settings on the show Wanted are so beautiful so I would be willing to live there and aid and abet Chelsea and Lola if they needed help. I’d return to my own reality the second I met one of those massive Australian bugs, though.

I know I’d be so miserable but Battlestar Galactica was really, really immersive TV for me and I think I’m decent in a crisis and I guess if I lived in the world of BSG I’d find out for real.

[ladyanput]

Seeing Red Ch.4

The morning had been boring as all hell, not that that had surprised Eva. A free day for everyone to scatter and she decided to avoid Bustier and to let Marinette have a fun day exploring Gotham, with friends, of course.

So she had talked herself to going to a cute little cafe and ordering herself a slice of cheesecake and a cup of hot chocolate. She took a seat in a booth and just enjoyed the solitary moment to herself. No idiot teachers, no bratty students, no stress of anything. Just her and this cheesecake that would go straight to her hips.

“What are you doing here all by yourself?" 

Eva looked up and met the impossibly blue eyes of Jason Todd. She was so startled at the sight of him that she began coughing as she swallowed a mouthful of hot cocoa wrong. Embarrassment burned her cheeks as she hacked at the sudden pain, doubling over on the table. She soon felt Jason’s large hand settle on her back and begin rubbing it.

"Shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, Eva.” Jason winced when he saw her watering eyes and red face. He had been just as surprised to see her in this small cafe, and like an idiot he had just strode up and demanded why she was there like a jackass.

“It’s fine, I’m fine.” She reached out a hand to set it on his shoulder, trying not to notice how broad it was under her hand. She forced a smile as she sat up, using a napkin to wipe her mouth. “I was off in my daydreams, so I guess it was going to be inevitable that something would scare me." 

The two shared a smile before Jason motioned to the seat across from her. At Eva’s nod, he took a seat. They stared at each other for a while, before Jason cleared his throat, suddenly feeling rather embarrassed.

"So.. Damian is rather lovestruck, I’d say. It’s a bit scary, he’s always been this hardass, no nonsense kind of guy, then he meets this French girl and he’s all doe eyed and smiled more. He’s not supposed to smile.” Jason shook his head, quickly ordering himself a coffee when the waitress came over.

“I was a bit hesitant about Marinette dating him.” Eva admitted as she poked at her cheesecake with her, keeping her gaze lowered. “I mean, they’ve barely known each other for a week and suddenly they’re dating? Pardon me if I’m skeptical.”

Jason opened his mouth to agree, but his mind quickly flashed to the past couple of nights. It wasn’t dating exactly, but it was a fair bit… Hypocritical of himself to agree.

"If Damian hurts her, how about I break both of his legs?” He reached out and set his hand over hers, only to feel his heart begin to race when she turned her hand to grasp his.

“And I’ll break both of his arms, and we can toss his body in the river." 

The two shared a smile, and before they both knew it, they were walking around Gotham, trading stories and laughing, before they eventually arrived in front of the hotel, Eva with a hesitance to her body language.

“What’s wrong?” Jason began to reach out, but stopped himself and tucked his hands into his pockets. 

“Nothing, I just.. I like this job, I really do, it’s just.. I don’t like Caline, or the kids, except Marinette of course, some of them aren’t so bad, butI think I’m going to go grey soon!” Eva ran her fingers through her hair, seeming a bit rattled at the feeling of the words bursting from her lips. “I want to kind of quit, but.. I’m only there for a year, and I love France, but the circumstances are shit.”

“I thought I sensed some tension on your shoulders. Dick told me all about that class, especially that Rossi chick. Trust me, liars like her don’t last very long, eventually her lies catch up to her. And surely there’s something else keeping you sane, right? Maybe a boyfriend…?”

Jason didn’t know why he was fishing. It was a fling, nothing important, but the thought of Eva having a boyfriend.. It didn’t make him feel very good.

“…” Those purple eyes were suddenly downcast, a frown settling on those impossibly soft lips. “No.. There hasn’t been anyone for a long time. I mean, there’s a guy in Gotham that I met that I kind of want to get to know more, but we kind of agreed to not get into that kind of relationship. Besides, he and I have only known each other for a few days, it’d be a bit weird to suddenly jump into a romantic relationship like that, right?” 

He didn’t know exactly how to answer that. Jason.. He never really had a good deal with ladies, he liked both guys and girls, but love.. It wasn’t something he wanted to pursue, because well, he was a broken man. A man with a fucked up past that he didn’t want to burden on anyone else. 

“Anyways, I should get inside, it was a pretty long day.” She gave him a small smile, and a playful wink. “I’ll need as much beauty rest as I can get with these kids.”

As he watched her walk away, a small smile played on his lips as his eyes drifted to the sway of those hips, a sway that showed that she meant business. How could it be that anyone could have such a perfect ass?

Eva entered the hotel, spotting Marinette surrounded by a few of her friends. With a sudden spring in her step, Eva began to make her way over to the girl, though her steps faltered upon the sight of the desk clerk motioning her over.

“Ma’am, I do hope you had a good day today. Er.. We found that we charged your card with some unnecessary purchases during your night at the bar, and to try and fix that hiccup, we decided to give you one of the better rooms.” The clerk blurted out with incredible speed, holding out a key card, her bright and cheerful smile not once cracking. “I do hope that you will forgive us for this inconvenience and enjoy the rest of your stay.”

“Oh.. Well, thank you.” Eva glanced between the clerk and the key card. She had just checked her bank account an hour ago, and there had been no other charges than that bottle of wine.. “Well, I guess I’ll get my stuff.”

“Oh, we already had the staff move it for you, so that you can simply go and have a relaxing night. And any room service for the rest of your stay is on us!” The clerk put in quickly, before giving a soft giggle. “Have a good evening, Miss Bourbon.”

Eva’s brows drew together as she stared down at the key card in her hand. She slowly made her way over to where Marinette stood, waiting for the elevator to arrive.

"What’s that?” Nino blinked in surprise at the sight of the shiny new key card.

“I.. Guess I got a new room..” Eva murmured, before turning her gaze to Marinette. “I also got a free dinner. Wanna join me for a bit?”

The smile she received in return made the whole thing seem so much more tolerable.

…

“So.. Has Damian called you?” Eva grinned at the sight of the blush rising in Marinette’s cheeks. “My goodness, sugar cookie, I think you’ve got it worse than when you had your crush on Adrien.”

“I do not! I mean, I can actually talk to Damian without making a complete fool of myself..” Marinette took a hold of one of her pigtails, tugging on it as her blush only grew worse. “And.. I think he actually cared about me. Like, really cares.”

“Ugh, young love, it’s too sweet, I’m going to get sick.” Eva faked a retching noise, only to have a pillow thrown at her face.

“Eva, I’m serious! I think that maybe I can finally have something.. Something real.” Mari murmured as she hugged one of the other pillows to her chest, an almost dreamy look crossing her face. “I mean.. It could be something amazing.”

Babe, you and I are something real..

Eva tensed as she felt the ice spread in her stomach, David’s face flashing in her mind, his smug grin as he grabbed the front of her shirt and pulled her in for a kiss…

A knock at the door tore Eva from those thoughts, causing her to rush over, avoiding meeting Marinette’s curious eyes.

“Well.. If you do want to pursue this relationship.. Please be careful, Marinette. I know that you think this guy is great, but,” Her grip tightened so hard on the doorknob that her knuckles turned white. “, First impressions can be deceiving.”

They were served in an overly fancy fashion, their meals kept under silver domes, the room service worker pouring both ladies each a glass of sparkling pomegranate juice, before they were left sitting at the small table in silence.

“How.. Did you get this room again?” Marinette posed her pasta dish absentmindedly with her form, while Eva shrugged in response. “You should have seen the look on Miss Bustier’s face when she found out you got a better room. Lila is spreading around a rumour that you slept with a staff member to get special treatment.”

“You know what, let’s not worry about those two anymore. I’m tired of Lila and you guys are graduating this year, in a few months, so I’m not going to give her the time of day anymore. Her lies won’t work out there in the real world, because unlike Alya, people actually check their fucking facts.” Eva muttered as she sipped the juice, trying to ignore the growing anger in her chest. Those people weren’t worth it. “Now, about Damian Wayne.. Listen, Marinette, you’ve fallen for a pretty rich boy before, just take this slower, please. You claimed that you fell in love with Adrien the very day you met him, and I’m sorry, but love just doesn’t work like that. Yeah, you can feel attraction, but love is so much more.”

Marinette was quiet as she finally took a bit of her food, refusing to meet Eva’s invasive gaze. She seemed to be almost tearing up as she swallowed and finally spoke.

“I know, Eva, but.. I don’t think it’s wrong to believe in love. People fall in love every day, and I feel like Damian is going to be better than Adrien. He is actually acting like an adult, he seems to actually be.. Well, you know, he actually cares and is aware of reality.”

Eva clicked her tongue , but nodded. Adrien was a bit of an.. An airhead, in Eva’s eyes. He never seemed to fully grasp what was going on, or how life actually worked. Marinette had gone through far too much thanks to her crush on that boy.

“Sugar cookie, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound like I was demeaning.” Eva sighed and stood, moving over and pulling the girl into a tight hug. “I just care, you know? You’re the only family I have.”

“You’re lucky to have a little sister like me.” Marinette teased as she hugged her back, smiling to herself as she felt the warmth radiating off of her. “But I do appreciate the advice. I was a complete mess with Adrien.”

“We’re all a mess with our first crush.” Eva kissed the top of her head. “Now finish your food before it gets cold.”

…

Eva sighed to herself as she stared at herself in the mirror. She touched the corners of her eyes, glaring at the dark shadows under her eyes. Her body jolted when she heard a knock at the window, slowly making her way over and cautiously opened the curtains. At the sight of Red Hood dangling outside her window caused her to grin.

“Never think of entering through my door?” She teased as she let him inside, only to let out a cry of surprise as he scooped her up in his embrace, giving his shoulder a playful smack. “You’re covered in snow, asshole, you’re freezing!”

“You were on my mind all day. You and this sexy ass of yours.” Red Hood growled softly as he gave her ass a sharp squeeze through her pyjama pants. “And that sharp tone of yours.”

“You insatiable pervert, I must be really turning you into a sex fiend, huh?” Eva taunted, giving her hips a playful wriggle, her heart beginning to pound in her chest.

“Only for you, you little vixen. It’s illegal to be as sexy as you are.”  Red Hood gave her ass a smack then, causing her to moan.

“Hmm, then are you taking me into the coppers, Red Hood? Finally gonna cuff me and put me behind bars?” She giggled as she was thrown onto the bed, his hands sliding along her body as he pinned her underneath him.

“I suppose you. Be careful what you say, anything you say can and will be held against you, my vixen..” He whispered as he began to unbutton her top, his gloved hand sliding in to grasp one of her breasts and squeezing it. “Fuck..”

“Red Hood..” Eva panted out, arching her back as she felt the cold material of the gloves on her heated skin. “Red Hood, my Red Hood..”

“Mmm, naughty girl. Maybe I should teach you a lesson before taking you in..” He growled, reaching over to the lamp to switch it off.

A knock at her door caused them both to freeze.

“Miss Bourbon? Are you there?” Adrien’s muffled voice could be heard, causing Eva to curse under her breath.

“Ignore him..” Red Hood hissed, once again reaching for the lamp once again, only to let out a frustrated growl when Adrien knocked once again. “I’m going to kick that kid’s ass.”

“You shush, Casanova, he must be having quite the bit of trouble if he’s coming to me and not Caline.” Eva rolled out from under Red Hood and grumbled as she buttoned up her shirt, then pulled on a robe. “But don’t worry, if you ever come to Paris, I’ll point out a lazy cat themed superhero whose ass you can destroy.”

Jason watched as Eva fixed her appearance; smoothing down her messy hair, adjusting the robe to hide her lack of a bra, though he noticed her skin was still rather rosy. It was funny, hearing her speak so.. So brashly, while she always appeared like those high class ladies he would see at those weird events he had gone to with Bruce before.. Before th Joker had killed him. 

“Well, if the kid’s in trouble, I know you can help him, you would obviously go through gunfire for that girl, so I guess you’d do that for anyone.” Red Hood teased.

“No..” Alya and Lila’s faces flashed in her mind and for a moment, Eva felt shame. “Not anyone.”

As Eva set a hand on the doorknob, she felt Red Hood’s arms wrap around her waist, hugging her tightly.

“Tomorrow.. I’m going to take you on a proper date, okay? Well, as proper of a date as a vigilante like myself can do. No secret apartment rendezvous, no drinking beer on a roof, just something nice, okay?” He whispered, and Eva found her cheeks began to burn. 

“That sounds great.. Um.. H- have a good night, Red.” She whispered back, leaning into his embrace. When he finally let go and left, the room felt so cold, so empty. She felt so empty.

“Oh, Miss Bourbon! Sorry if I woke you, I was just hoping we could talk.” Adrien blurted out as soon as the woman opened the door. At her skeptical look, he pressed his hands together in a pleading gesture. “Please! I was wrong, wrong about Lila and I want to make it up to Marinette. You’re the only one who’s close to her now, so you’ll know what to do.” 

“Fine.” Eva pulled on her robe tighter, then propped open the door and let him inside. At his questioning look, she shrugged. “In case Lila happens upon the room and tries anything, the door is wide open, I have nothing to hide. Besides, I’m tired, Adrien, I was about to turn in for the night.”

‘Oh.. I’m sorry… Adrien murmured as he entered the room, taking a look around, a bit surprised at how extravagant everything was, it even had its own mini bar. “The hotel was really generous to give you this.”

“Yeah, well, I didn’t really need it, though a room without Bustier is a dream come true.”

Adrien looked as if he were about the comment, but wisely kept his mouth shut. He turned his gaze to the open window and squinted ever so slightly at the sight of the faint foot impressions on the sill. Had someone broken in? Or.. Had Ladybug been here? His green eyes settled on Eva, who had turned the Keurig on, his heart beginning to pound. She had to be the key to Ladybug, to his lady, to his rightful happily ever after.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” The T.A. walked over with two steaming mugs. She handed once to Adrien.  “Hot chocolate. I remember one time you mentioned to Nino that you can’t drink coffee because it would stain your teeth.”

“Um.. Thank you, Miss Bourbon.” Adrien waited for her to say a cheerful ‘oh please, call me Eva!’, but it never came. She merely sat down, taking a long sip of her black coffee. His eyes trained on the array of dark bruises on her neck and collarbone, hiding a smirk as he took a sip of his hot chocolate. She certainly must be easy if she was already with someone here in Gotham, she must be encouraging Ladybug to follow her behaviour with Damian too. Adrien made a mental note that once he finally convinced Ladybug to date him, he’d get her as far away from Evangeline Bourbon as possible, maybe get the T.A. sent back to Canada. He couldn’t have his future wife becoming so wanton and loose.

“I just want to know what I did wrong, Miss Bourbon. I tried so hard to try and get everyone to get along, I didn’t bully anyone, I never said anything hurtful to Marinette, did I?” Adrien met her gaze, met those eyes that sent chills down his spine. 

Eva closed her eyes briefly as she prayed to every god and goddess up in the heavens to give her patience. 

“That’s the problem, Adrien, since you tried to get everyone to get along, that you merely put a band-aid over a chainsaw wound. And, Marinette felt like you were ignoring her feelings, making Lila a priority.” Eva clicked her tongue softly.

“B-but what if Lila gets akumatized if we expose her?! If Marinette just put the lies aside and got along with her, we’d all be happy again!” Adrien burst out.

“So you say that Marinette should just roll over and take it, because it inconveniences you? Adrien, Lila has been akumatized over fifteen times, and those are just the ones we know of. She’s always going to get akumatized, Adrien, there is really no way without it. But imagine how much it’s going to hurt when this eventually gets out.” She trailed a fingertip around the rim of her mug. “Think really hard about all of this.”

Adrien was quiet for a long time, his grip tightening slightly on his mug. 

“I’m sorry.. I guess.. M-my mother left a few years ago, she always told me that you should work hard to keep the light in the world, since it can be so cruel.” He whispered, bowing his head.

Eva flinched as a memory flashed across her mind; her mother getting in her car and driving off, never to return, leaving her all alone with her pathetic father. Pity filled her chest as she remembered how cold Gabriel Agreste was to his son. To lose a mother, to have an absentee father, in a sense.. It definitely causes one to be vulnerable. And Adrien certainly was a sheltered boy, so I guess it made a bit of sense..

“Listen, if you really want to get on good terms with Marinette again, you’ll need to apologize. Maybe do something nice for her to show you actually mean it and aren’t putting out empty air.”

Adrien grinned, Eva missing the almost mad glint in his eyes.

“Yes, of course! I know exactly what to do!”

Taglist: @the-navistar-carol @chocolate1721 @emo-elaine13 @mochinek0 @drarryismylife101 @toodaloo-kangaroo @moonlightstar64 @imtryingsstuff @shamefullove  

[sweetcathedral]

Note: The reblogged continuations looked weird on phone format, so here’s a cleaner one with a link for Part 1. Link for Part 3 will be updated here tomorrow!

⚠️: Reader’s discretion is advised. This chapter contains forms of dubious consent and explores the theme of sex being used as self-harm.

They sat together in comforting silence, thinking of nothing but the serenity of having each other by their sides.

“Hey, Tsukki.”

“Mm?”

“Just message me next time you feel like sleeping around.”

Contemplating silence. Maybe what he said was stupid, or Tsukki had fallen asleep, or he’ll be met with another cold—

“Okay.”

Suna blinked, taken back by surprise. “What?”

“I said okay.”

“Oh.”

“What do you mean ‘oh’?”

“No, I just—I thought you’d be opposed to it.”

“They’re not as … good … as you,” Tsukki mumbled.

Suna grabs his face tilting it up.

“Assho—!”

“Say that again.”

“No!” Tsukki shakes his head out of his hand, so that he could turn around and face him properly. “Just because I’m sleeping with you doesn’t mean I like you, okay? Pleasure. We’re only using each other for pleasure, okay?”

Suna knows.

“I know. But I couldn’t quite catch what you said before, you put water in my ears.”

“I said, they’re not as good as you.”

“Not as good as me in—?” He baited Tsukki to fill in the blank.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!”

“Say it, or I’ll drown you,” Suna said over Tsukki’s voice.

“They’re—” Tsukki’s ears were turning red again, “they’re not … they’re not as good as you in bed! There I said it!”

Suna burst out laughing. Tsukki kept splashing him to calm him down, but he was having too much fun poking at Tsukki after he had admitted how good Suna was compared to the other guys.

They finished up their bath in silence, Tsukki fell asleep while they were in the tub, so Suna finished cleaning him up first. After dressing Tsukki in clean clothes and putting him to bed in the spare bedroom, he went back to the bathroom to finish his bath with a quick shower.

Finally alone, he let out a loud sigh. “Fuck,” he mutterd under his breath.

Suna knows. He knows what he’s in denial of, he knows that Tsukki likes Kuroo, he knows that Tsukki would never choose him, that he’s just a rebound to pass time as Tsukki gets his shit together. I know, I know, I know I know I know I know I know. I. Know. But this relationship was better than nothing. He didn’t care what he had to sacrifice, as long as it kept Tsukki from spiraling out of control. And if it costs him to break a relationship to make Tsukki happy, he’d do it in a heartbeat, because that’s all he wanted Tsukki to be. To be happy.

“Oi, Suna!”

Tsukki waved his hand over his face. “What are you dozing off for?”

“Nothing, just thinking about what to have for dinner later on.”

“Hinata, Kenma and Atsumu are trying to invite us for korean bbq tonight. You coming?”

“Sure, I’m free.”

A couple of weeks have passed since he dropped by Kenma’s place to hand Atsumu a package Osamu needed to get to him urgently. He had planned to give it to Tsumu as soon as he saw him, but everytime he did, the package wasn’t with him in person. Osamu kept reminding him to the point of pestering paranoia that he ended up at Kenma’s place in the middle of the night, so that he could finally sleep in peace and not have nightmares of Osamu killing him for not delivering the package in a timely manner. Thank God Kenma allowed him to stay over. According to Atsumu, the package wasn’t even a big deal as Osamu made it out to be. Again, Suna got caught in the twins’ antics and bickering over the phone. The package in question wasn’t physically that big (looking at it from the outside), but when he caught Atsumu opening it and holding it in his hand the physical appearance didn’t matter anymore. Suna had delivered an engagement ring to Atsumu on behalf of Osamu, not knowing the story behind it and not caring to know it. Not a big deal my ass.

Once Suna’s paranoia disappeared, he was finally able to resume back to his daily life routines. Except, this day also wasn’t part of his routine.

“Where are you taking us?” he questioned Tsukki to remind him again.

“Shopping for new shoes.”

“Couldn’t you do that alone?”

“Yeah, but then I won’t have an excuse to get out of conversations with fans that I bump into. I’ve been bumping into them almost everyday thanks to Kenma’s Portugal vlog with Hinata, and his fans have been asking me to do another one with Kenma too.”

Tsukki grimaced, while looking at the maps app on his phone, leading the way to the store he wanted to checkout.

It’s true Kenma’s fans go overboard about wanting to know what goes on with everyone that appears in his videos, but as long as they don’t force themselves onto them, then it’s fine.

“Hey, could you guys be Tsukishima Kei and Suna Rintarou? Volleyball players, right?” A cheery woman walked up to them, coupled by two of her friends waiting close by to confirm their curiosity.

“Yeah, you watch our games?” Suna replied with a smile, covering for Tsukki. “Sorry, he’s a bit shy.”

“Oh that’s okay, we didn’t mean to take up your time,” she clarified hurriedly, “we just wanted to know if it was okay to get a picture with you guys?” She timidly asked, perked with anticipation.

“We don’t mind,” Suna kicked Tsukki’s foot, still keeping his facade on. “We have a bit of time to spare for you guys, right Tsukki?”

A harmless response, yet calculative in a polite way to let their fans know that they’re only free for the picture and nothing more.

Tsukki fidgets behind Suna then reluctantly steps out, properly greeting his fans.

One of the girls tried holding the phone in an angle that could get them all together, but Tsukki and Suna were too tall.

“Here, how ‘bout I hold it for us,” Suna offered, winking at the woman, which sent her into a flustered expression. “Okay! Ready, one, two—”

“Three!” They ended the chant in unison.

Once they confirmed their satisfaction with the picture, they bowed their goodbyes to each other.

“What’d you do to make her friend blush like that?”

“Fan service.”

“Not scared that you could’ve turned her into a stalker?”

“Don’t need to be scared. Stalkers start their day stalking, she started the day with her friends not knowing they’d bump into us.”

“That’s some deduction.”

“I’ve dealt with a few stalkers before, so it’s only natural to know so I could avoid it in the future.”

“Scary.”

“Is it around here?” Suna looked around for the shoe store Tsukki had on his phone, swiftly changing a conversation he didn’t want to get into details about.

The thought of it sent a shiver down his spine.

“Ah, over—here.”

“Tsukki?”

“You guys are here too?”

Just as they spotted the store, Suna and Tsukki bumped into Hinata, Kageyama and the woman Suna saw in the gossip articles, Kuroo’s girlfriend.

“Tsukishima, Suna … what the hell?” Kageyama narrowed his eyes in annoyance.

“I could ask you the same thing.”

“Kageyama wanted to improve his foreign language skills with her, but we also planned to buy shoes afterwards, so we met at Kuroo’s place and now we’re finishing the day off with shoes.” Hinata rambled, explaining their day to Tsukki.

“No, I wasn’t—I didn’t mean it literally.”

“Dumbass,” Kageyama snickered.

“Huh? But you asked.”

“That’s,” Tsukki sighed in defeat, “nevermind.” He shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Oh, by the way, this is Kuroo’s girlfriend.” He introduced you to Suna.

“Hello,” Suna bowed.

You bowed in return.

For someone who’s usually sneering at almost everyone, Tsukki was composed, unable to look anyone in the eye.

“We can come back later on if you want,” Suna spoke to him in a low voice.

“Why? We’re already here.”

Suna and Tsukki followed behind the trio into the store.

What Suna could tell from Tsukki wasn’t anger, jealousy or sadness, he was uncomfortable and awkward—withdrawn—maybe because everyone else seemed to get along with her and Tsukki didn’t know how. The one thing they had in common was their feelings towards Kuroo, from what Suna can presume.

“Are you gonna shop for shoes too?” You asked, trying to strike up a conversation.

“Nah, I only came ‘cause of Tsukki.”

Out of the five of them, you and Suna stood by waiting for the three to pick their shoes as they made snarky remarks at each other.

“Are you finding the stay okay?” Suna picked the conversation up.

“Yeah, it’s okay,” your feet fidget. “I’m finally able to take a well needed vacation after working non-stop for a year.”

“What do you work as?”

A question not asked out of curiosity, only to keep the conversation from dying in awkward silence.

“Artist, specifically a painter.”

“Nice. I never thought of Kuroo as the artsy type, so how’d you guys meet?”

“Through Kenma,” your eyes softened. “We were able to meet thanks to him.”

Kenma? “Oh, you knew Kenma first?”

“Yeah, although I only met Kuroo in person after a few years of being friends with Kenma,” you nervously laughed.

A few years? Suna thought back to what he knew from the articles, but he never thought about the extent of your relationship with Kenma. Your connection with him only surfaced when the rumours between you and Kuroo were making headlines. You also never appeared in any of his videos, nor were you ever mentioned by Kenma himself. So who were you to Kenma?

“Did you meet Kenma as a fan?”

“No, I actually didn’t know he was a pro gamer until afterwards.”

“Oh?”

“We met at E3, and I guess Kenma came as a shareholder instead of what he’s known for.”

“So you game at the side too.”

“No, not as seriously as Kenma. I went as a shareholder as well.”

“Hey! You guys wanna head to the bbq place now?” Hinata interrupted.

Kageyama and Tsukki trailed behind him, looking satisfied with their new purchases.

“Oh, I’m heading back for the day. I still haven’t prepared Kuroo’s dinner and he’s working overtime today,” you politely declined.

“Aw, boo,” Hinata pouted.

“Sorry, maybe another time. I still have a few more months before I leave.”

Hinata continued making excuses for Kuroo to starve, so that you could join them for the bbq, but you seemed to purposefully be avoiding hanging out with them.

“Do you not like us?!”

“That’s not what I’m saying!” You yelled back at Hinata. “I’m saying that I’ll look like a whore if I’m the only girl there!”

“Then I’ll be a whore with you!”

“That’s not how it works!”

“Oi, if she said no it’s no! And that’s Kuroo’s girlfriend you’re trying to ask out!” Kageyama smacked him upside the head.

After Tsukki broke the fight off, they decided to drop you off at the station. Suna felt disappointed at the thought of not getting to know you better, there were still questions he wanted to ask, but at least he got to see how the others were around you. Although, Tsukki had different reasons for being the way he was.

Hinata and Kageyama didn’t even talk about you behind your back, once you were gone. Kageyama was excitedly going over his new phrases and vocabulary with Hinata, and talked about how easy it was to learn from you, like a kindergartener talking about their first day of school. On the other hand, Hinata was still annoyed that you weren’t able to come, but he was already planning where and whom to hangout with next. Their excitement expressed how comfortable and happy they are to be around you, except for Tsukki.

Tsukki neither expressed his like or dislike of you, not that Suna knew anything about you, yet. He barely got to know you, except for the fleeting, but daunting, mention of Kenma. A thought he’ll overthink before he sleeps in the nights to come.

They arrived at the korean bbq place and found Kenma and Atsumu at their reserved table at the back corner of the restaurant, right by the washroom.

“Took you guys long enough,” Atsumu scooted over, making room for the rest.

“Hinata was begging her to join us and wouldn’t let go until we dropped her off at the station,” Kageyama exasperated.

Kenma turned to Hinata, putting his phone in his pocket. “Someone’s attached.”

“But she’s fun to be around and it’s not like she’ll be here for long,” Hinata sulked.

“You can see her another time. It’s not like she’s gone forever.”

“You can see her any time. I don’t have that much money like you to be saying it that easily.”

It’s true. Out of everyone seated at the table, Kenma was the only one rich enough to say he could travel easily, despite them being pro athletes. Must be nice to be that free.

Time flew by fast as they got lost in their conversations and topics, blissfully filling their stomachs with good food and light beer.

Suna couldn’t help but overthink about the way your name sounded coming from Kenma’s mouth, but they had suddenly stopped mentioning you after a quick change of topic, thanks to Atsumu. There was no mention about the ring Osamu had been pestering Suna to give to him, so he had assumed that it could be fake, although the conversation the twins had over the phone sounded serious.

Tsukki was seated across from him, intently listening in to Atsumu and Hinata rambling on about their sponsorships and what to do in their upcoming fans meeting, while scrolling through his phone. Placid as usual, but nothing out of the ordinary … though he can feel Tsukki brushing his foot up his ankle under the table in a discreet manner. He glances up to Tsukki, nonchalantly keeping a poker face, blending in with the right reactions to the conversation. Suna knows he was the one who proposed this type of relationship first, but his intentions weren’t the same as what Tsukki is probably thinking of.

Suna gets up from the table, naturally Atsumu and Kageyama adjust themselves to make room for Suna to get out with ease. “I’ll be back,” he tells them.

He takes a trip to the washroom and heads out the back door of the restaurant for a smoke. And of course, after a while, Tsukki followed him outside.

“You free tonight?” Tsukki asked in a mellow tone, lightly tapping Suna’s feet with his.

“Again?”

“So you’re not free?”

Everything clicked in Suna’s head. It all made sense now, and he was right to keep Tsukki close to him by proposing this type of relationship. Whenever Suna turned him down to fuck, it’s not that Tsukki agreed with his answer, he just found another way to get what he wanted by calling someone else. The options Tsukki keeps in his phone is just his last resort, if things didn’t go the way he wanted them to. The only time Tsukki wants to fuck is when something related to Kuroo comes up; the point where he wants to forget the most. How could Suna not notice after all this time they spent together? Tsukki never talked about how he really felt about anything. This whole time Suna thought that Tsukki was getting better, but he had actually gotten worse. Maybe this relationship wasn’t a good idea in the first place, but Suna didn’t want to risk going back to how it was in the past, especially with how their relationship is now.

[...]

[Part 3]

[artificial-ascension]

I’ll bite tell me about Ryan

Oh boy oh boy ok.

Aight, so for starters my boy Ryan's real full name is Ryan Taylors II (he was named after his uncle Ryan who died before he was born) and he's one of my Death Note OCs I made for a fic I'm writting. He's a serial killer and I heavily based his case of Jack the Ripper. He kills prostitutes, not because he has anything against them but because he knows the cops don't really care. He does this because he think violently mutilating people is fun. There's something very wrong with him. I tried to emulate every serial killer ever while still making him unique.

He had a shitty childhood. His mom got disowned by her mom for running drugs for the mob and she had to live her shitty boyfriend. He raped her and that's how Ryan came to be. Happened again and that's how he got his little sister. His dad was an abusive dick head and when Ryan was 9 he had enough so he just fucking killed the guy. When he want to court he got of with no punishment because it so insanely obvious that his dad was an abusive rapist qnd Ryan was a little kid so the jurry decided he was innocent. From age 9 to 15 he enjoyed not having a father until his mom got a new bf and he was an ass. Then when Ryan was 16 he officially could not handle it and snapped and killed someone. He enjoyed it like alot and after some moral debating with himself he kept on killing people.

Anyway to backtrack when he was 7 he met a guy named Jessie who's dad owned a bar and they became friends. Jessie had a kid his age (actually it was just a random orphan he found and adopted but still) and that kid was named Jerimiah. Ryan also had a friend named Courtney from school and Ryan, Courtney and Jerimiah all end up going to the same school after awhile and Ryan and Jerimiah date. Ryan also runs track and he's like really fucking good at it. He set records. Ryan also joined a gang when he was 7 because his neighbor was this sweet old Chinese lady who would babysit him and teach him Chinese (Ryan's part Chinese, it's never relevant except for the fact that he joined a gang when he was 7, which is mostly a joke thing) and her grandson was the leader of a biker gang and when they would come over Ryan would hang out with them and at some point they were like "hey your cool wanna join our gang?" And Ryan said yeah so he was in a biker gang when he was 7. They didn't actually do anything they just rode around and looked scary and Ryan doesn't know how to ride a motorcycle nor is he allowed but he's still a member and has his own bandanna all the gang members have. The gang thing is never important it's just a little joke to make Ryan seem tough.

Speaking of which Ryan is constantly trying to look tough. Ryan grew up in Compton in the 90's so he's constantly surrounded by crime so he tried to be as intimidating as possible and he is actually very intimidating. He's 5'11 and 180lbs, super aggressive with the knife skills to back it up and dresses in all black. He's already scary and 100% a true gangster qnd he doesn't need to pretend but he still has issues with intimacy and being nice. He's cold and apathetic all the time. He wishes he wasn't but he has a hard time finding things to be passionate about. The few things that do bring him joy include bread, horror and action movies, Sonic the Hedgehog, Transformers and exploring abandoned buildings. He's very shy about showing when he's actually happy (which is a shame because he has the cutest, sweetest nost amazing and gorgeous smile in the entire fukcing world.) The reason for his apathy is because he's got ASPD from all the abuse. Everyone says he puts the antisocial in antisocial personally disorder and they're right. His symptoms mostly include apathy, violent outbursts, recklessness and self degradation. Pretty much he's quiet and reserved and doesn't like people. He jas very little self confidence and doesn't care much for others unless he really knows them well and actually likes them. If he does consider someone a friend he's very protective and somewhat nice. It takes alot to deal with him but he's really a great friend.

Really he's an amazing guy who went through alot of traumatic shit and had been unfortunately fucked up by his shitty circumstances and has choosen to deal with it in the worst possible way: muder. Ryan absolutely loves to blame his problems on other people and for the most part he's right (it's not his fault he had to go through all that) however him choosing to kill people was 100% his thing and he can't really blame it on his childhood considering there's 100 different ways to deal with that stuff that don't involve killing people HOWEVER Ryan ignores that because he's a fucking seril killer and has no remorse for his victims. He is the epitome of "I love my garbage son who belongs in prison" because he does but he never gets caught.

There's two different ways Ryan's life goes and it depends on the fic I put him in. In the everyone lives one, he marries A and B and joins the mafia with them. He does repent for his crimes but has to live on a short leash (he can't have cash, he has to travel with A or someone qualified to babysit him, he has to keep his ID on him at all time ect.) Because the government doesn't want him to kill people anymore but wants to see if they can actually rehabilitate a fucking serial killer + A knows people *cough cough L* and will be very pissy if they put his boyfriend in prison. Ryan gets therapy and reconnects with his family and also he's set to die at like 87 here.This is the good ending.

In actual cannon, Ryan and B are friends with alot of homoerotic tension. Ryan and B are partners in crime for awhile but after B dies Ryan continues on with his life (Ryan is a massive crime buff and wants to be a forensic pathogist and that happens in both endings) but after awhile he decides life isn't worth living without B and goes on a full rampage through LA before writting an increasingly cryptic suicide note and slitting his own throat. He choose that method because in all his killings, he cut the vocal cords of his victims so they couldn't scream while he mutilated them (witch gave him the nick name the Silent Ripper, though he's more commonly the Los Angeles Ripper) but he'd usually end up slitting their throats in the process, so the most commom death for his victims drowning in their own blood, so he felt its how he should go out. This is clearly the bad ending.

Anyway yeah. There's him. If you want anything spicific please ask ms because once you tell me to write about my OCs suddenly I don't know them.