#they’re not diagnosed

[vizthedatum]

My friend validated me today - he told me that he never trusted my ex-spouse from the start. And that he was worried about my safety but didn’t say anything since we were newish friends back then.

I don’t blame him.

Would I have even listened?

My other friend told me similar - that she thought they were a covert narcissist when we started dating.

—

I did love my ex. Deeply.

But they are the most cunning and intelligent person I’ve met - and they’re an excellent behavioral masker.

And they’re also the most fragile person I’ve ever met.

I will always love them for their role in my life.

I will never forgive them for their complete lack of empathy for me. I will never forgive them for calling me the abuser WHEN I TRIED SO HARD IN THAT RELATIONSHIP TO HONOR THEM AND US. I will not apologize for finally listening to my needs or for having boundaries (which were not control-based).

—

And with that (as I wait in this urgent care where I am still haunted by DV flyers) I’m ready for my Navratri prayer/puja for tonight. I understand what I must say and ask for the matrimonial version of Durga tonight.

[houseswife]

people who aren’t in the house md fandom assume that the batshit craziness of these plotlines starts and ends with the old man yaoi and the malpractice. you all think you understand? [grabs you by the face] listen to me closely. these patients specifically seek out house because he’s known as the capital-G God of diagnostics. on MULTIPLE occasions someone has come in with seizures, coughing up blood, in multi-system organ failure and the team is like “it says here in the chart that you’ve had sex before?… yeah so we have concluded that ur allergic to cum :/ sorry.” and then are genuinely shocked when their treatment of “no more taking big fat loads from peanis” doesn’t reverse sepsis. this is a medical drama. about medical mysteries

[sciencewife]

Why I love the old Aperture levels in Portal 2:

the 50s and 70s aesthetics

The LORE

Yayyyy asbestos

the old CEO babbling about his wacky science projects

CAROLINE

bouncy gel, speedy gel, and portal gel

A potato’s journey of self-discovery

[macbethz]

Some of you genuinely seem to believe neurotypical people are mindless conformity drones like the villains in a Tim Burton movie who are happy all the time with no inner life & that anyone who has any thoughts about the world around them at all has a mental illness. You are no better than the 12 yo boys who call service workers NPCs. Actually I’d argue you’re worse because at least those people are joking.

[shadowsbrainrot]

if anyone tries to give me shit for being self dx i’ll just tell them that yeah my psychiatrist and my therapist believe me but are just unable to diagnose me bc healthcare literally sucks ass

[1000dactyls]

I wanna know if you have any thoughts on Valka and Sroicks parenting and how that affects hiccup? Because I'm loving so much of your content rn, especially your drawings!! But when I see stuff like Tgirl Hiccup while I think they would be supportive, I don't think they would be ... the best because their not really the best. Like ofc they tried even Val when she came back, but it doesn't and won't ever make up for everything else it's so complicated, and nuisanced would love to hear your thoughts!!

Im going to break this post into addressing stoick and valka separately because valka is such a non-entity in hiccup and stoick’s familial life. valka’s section will be underneath the ‘read more’

But I definitely agree! Unfortunately for Hiccup (and also not to project ijbol), it’s so hard because stoick’s best isn’t enough. Oh, stoick tries! He tries so hard — between the movies and the shows, he so clearly cares for his son. But he can never be just Hiccup’s dad; Stoick is the Chief of Berk before he’s Hiccup’s father, and both he and Hiccup know that. Hiccup grows up self sufficient and is used to a lonely home. The kind of free reign that he gets (and the resulting knee-jerk reaction he has to any kind of responsibility after 15 years of said free reign) doesn’t make for great conditions to cultivate a healthy, loving, traditional parental relationship

Still — i think stoick is more supportive than we give him credit for, at least going off the RoB/DoB characterizations. (Again, I haven’t finished watching RTTE, so Im not gonna speak for anything there.) When Hiccup makes moves for more freedom and responsibility, even as early as s01e01 “How to Start a Dragon Academy”, Stoick works with Hiccup to grant him that freedom. He makes attempts to connect to his son, albeit misguided and inevitably circling back to his own interests/role as the chief of Berk and not just Hiccup’s dad. For example, s01e07 “How to Pick your Dragon” shows Stoick ending up listening to Hiccup about getting a dragon, even though he mostly gets a dragon because it further suits his interests as a chief, which he realizes on the flight Toothless and Hiccup take him on. Which also leads to the core conflict of the episode! Because Stoick’s attempts to understand Hiccup are ultimately rooted in his own narrow perception of the world, that there is a Right way and Wrong way to do things, and Hiccup’s way is most definitely not the right way.

But Stoick listens. Over time, he picks up the signs when his child is frustrated and genuinely asks how he can help (s02e15 “A Tale of Two Dragons” 3 options talk). And after the events of the first movie, Stoick makes more attempts to involve Hiccup in his going-ons, such as the portrait of the chief’s family or contacting Johann to find a beloved childhood plushie. So i think stoick tries, and his best isn’t enough, so thank god hiccup isn’t dependent on only stoick and the both of them know this. And just because the both of them know this doesn’t mean that stoick doesn’t try to improve their relationship at all. In the end, he’s just really set in his own ways and his own traditions.

So in a world where Hiccup is trans, I do think Stoick is supportive no matter what direction Hiccup ends up going. Is he confused? Yes, always, because there isn’t a very established tradition even if Berk does have a history of trans folk. I think stoick has to try really really hard, and he messes up a lot in the beginning. Like, you know when your parents are trans affirming in a really weird and even insulting way? That happens a lot for Hiccup and Stoick. But they work together and Stoick works to try and get on Hiccup’s level, whether that means sending terror-mail to Johann to inquire about trans literature or gender-affirming clothes or dialing Gothi to move Hiccup’s t/e prescription to the front of the line.

……..argh, Valka.

Of course Valka tried when she came back, but the conscious decision to stay away for twenty years and miss some of the most important milestones in your child’s life says a lot, and I think Hiccup also knows that. Especially because of how similar they are, even though Valka would immediately accept and adore and absolutely love Hiccup and all his Hiccup-ness right off the bat… I think he’s aware of how different and better his life could’ve been with Valka’s understanding presence. In the end, one parent stayed and tried their best. And one didn’t really try at all, not until they reconnected again.

And like! I dont think Valka and Hiccup would ever be as close as Stoick and Hiccup were. Like it is one thing to idolize your parent in absentia and build up this idealistic wholesome perfect image of who they are, getting your characterization from their partner who never got over them even after 20 years. And it is another thing to meet that parent and realize… wow! They also don’t measure up to what I needed them to be as a child.

And so for all of Valka’s understanding, for all of the easiness it is for Valka to understand Hiccup, especially in a world where Hiccup is trans — it’s not Valka who had to deal with the bureaucracy of Hiccup’s gender change, nor aided in the social transition for people Hiccup has spent his entire life with. It’s not Valka who asked uncertain, blunt and somewhat invasive questions about Hiccup’s new identity, or found weird and strange ways to support it. It’s not Valka who would’ve gotten an entirely new wardrobe commissioned or talked to Gothi about medical transition.

Like, I think Valka tries, and it’s easy for her to understand the idea and support Hiccup. But i dont think she’d ever be Hiccup’s first choice when it comes to questions about who s/he is, not when there are people who stayed and tried much harder than her, and know far more about Hiccup than she ever did and maybe will.

[marzipanandminutiae]

[TikTok Girlie voice] we’re Crimson Peak fans- we’re gonna read academic articles about anger dysregulation and violence as PTSD symptoms purely for Fanfic Reasons

[little-red-fool]

You ever see a famous person and you’re just thinking. There’s something undiagnosed about you.

[macdenlover]

watching this play out over the last couple of years has been incredible

[givemebishies]

I was just reminiscing abt the time I told my mom that I’m acespec and I accidentally also told her that she’s apparently acespec too

[murderoftheuniverse]

honestly at this point whenever an egotypical says their abuser had npd my first instinct is just to assume they’re lying or it was an armchair diagnosis. because the majority of the time thats the truth

[0uimonami]

i don’t watch a lot of movies in general and my old man coworkers are finding this out and they asked “when was the last time you were in a movie theater” and i very proudly and enthusiastically replied “i saw sonic 3!!!!”

and they all just

[pixlmonkeys]

hype (DIES)

[shadesofjinx]

Hi hard launching. Sorry. I just really liked this idea and nobody had written is so here is the start to it!!! Based off characters not creators. Superhero au + college au where both Tommy and Wilbur have DID and don’t know it.

Will possibly be alternating POV depends on how creative and my energy levels

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

i genuinely do think that looking at the characters in homestuck through the lens of them being autistic is pretty important to do even if it obviously wasn’t intentional (except for nepeta at least) bc like. every character in homestuck takes some inspiration from early internet users. and a lot of early online spaces were absolutely disproportionately autistic. obviously not all, there were mainstream spaces, but it was a much less centralised place and had tons of mini communities made up of people intensely passionate about one thing which is a community structure that’s extremely welcoming to autistic people (comparatively- there was still constant ableism but that was true Everywhere in the mid to late 00s). and like all of the characters are based more on the types of people you’d find in those micro communities than on myspace. the Actual People who those archetypes were based on were disproportionately autistic and that absolutely carries over into how they’re written in homestuck, even though it’s unintentional. it isn’t helpful in every scenario and character obviously but like, i do think the fact that they’re based on online archetypes of what we’d call now terminally online micro community users and that a lot of those irl people were autistic bc in the early days of the internet being terminally online was actually extremely difficult instead of being the default- this was changing a bit around the time homestuck began, but the archetypes the kids and trolls are based on almost all date back to before then (the main exception being Some of the beforus trolls)- is something that can be useful to think about. it’s not an intentional thing, but it’s kind of an inevitable thing when you’re basing characters on 2005 power user stereotypes on gaming forums.

[pwurrz]

damn. kaveh and alhaitham really are adhd vs autism huh