#they’re like 33 and 32 respectively

[cherrysnax]

so brother update if anyone cares. tw for incest, rape, general harassment, homophobia/transphobia

me, my gf, my little brother and my dad all agree that one of older brothers is trying to get into my room whenever my gf leaves and my dad is not here. both of my older brothers have treated me like shit ever since my gf had to live with us and over the years they have been violent, aggressive, perverted and crude towards the both of us

My dad has always been of the idea that they’re jealous of me but now we all kinda agree that they’re jealous in a.. Different way. there have been insults, they’ve assaulted my gf (throwing a bottle at their head, throwing shit at them in general, trying to intimidate us, spitting on us, making crude sexual comments about us in Spanish, hurling homo/transphobic language at us, blowing smoke in my gfs face on purpose)

everyone agrees that it’s targeted at us. all of us who are not enabling their behavior have weapons at the ready if they decide to do something more violent but I’m getting sick of waiting for one of those freaks to break my door down and come kill and/or rape me lol

[chaoticace2005]

Rules for the Hazbin Hotel, authored by Vaggie:

1. No drugs.

2. No fights.

3. No pranks.

4. No problematic language.

5. No murder (OR TERRITORIAL GENOCIDE WHAT THE FUCK ANGEL)

6. No smuggling in of drugs. Not by sticking them up your ass. Or by hiding them in a pizza box. Or by slingshotting them to the roof. Or getting someone else to. Not at all.

7. No sexual rendezvous with outsiders in the hotel. No SHOWING sexual rendezvous with strangers to people of the hotel either.

8. Make sure the pig/future pets stay in the patron’s room. (This includes eggs!!)

9. No singing Limit singing to once twice per day

10. Stop flirting with the bartender Angel

11. Don’t call Husk “Husker” unless he allows it.

12. No harassing the staff at all. This includes asking who tops.

13. Don’t suggest anything sexual/romantic to Alastor unless you want your head cut off.

14. NO CUTTING OFF PEOPLE’S HEADS

15. NO EATING PEOPLE

16. NO MAKING CHARLIE CRY.

17. Don’t ask me to put my spear “inside you” Angel, what the fuck?

18. Don’t turn the interior of the hotel into a swamp?! Keep it contained in your room if you must!

19. No stabbing staff or residents. No matter how much they look like bugs! (OR IF THEYRE NAME IS ANGEL)

20. Don’t try and stab bugs if they’re within 10 feet of another demon.

21. Don’t call anyone a “bitch” OR TALK ABOUT HOW MY NAME SOUNDS LIKE “VAGINA”

22. Limit Niffty’s access to sharp objects.

23. NO DEALS ALASTOR

24. No drinking. Limit drinking at bar.

25. No mentioning the Stock Market Crash of 1929. For everyone’s benefit.

26. Don’t blow a hole in the wall.

27. Try to keep roast battles OUTSIDE the hotel. (Or stop picking fights?? Please Alastor I swear to God…)

28. No spying on the hotel for outside sources or putting technology that can be used against us.

29. No evil laughing in the middle of the night, what the fuck Alastor?

30. No building weapons/war machines.

31. No eggs! (Fine the eggs can stay.)

32. Someone please keep an eye on Niffty. (And the eggs.)

33. Stop touching people ANGEL.

34. Don’t make other people storm off HUSK.

35. Respect boundaries.

36a. If Angel looks like he’s about to pass out/cry don’t comment. Let him do his thing.

36b. Don’t try to talk to Angel if he’s on the phone with Valentino. Honestly don’t even mention his phone calls with Valentino.

37. Please don’t call Lucifer “Daddy”

38. Don’t turn into a 20 foot tall demon-eating creature unless absolutely necessary.

39. Don’t cause angry loan sharks to show up at the front door.

40. NO EXPLOSIONS!

41. Rule #2, “No fights” can be broken if the person you’re fighting is Valentino. Or Adam.

42. Don’t lie to your girlfriend or hide the fact you were secretly an angel.

43. DONT TALK ABOUT PEOPLE’S TITS (or lack of)

44. KNOCK BEFORE ENTERING A BEDROOM ESPECIALLY IF SOMEONE’S HAVING MAKEUP SEX

45. Don’t give people makeovers while they’re sleeping, ANGEL!

46. Don’t pretend to eat someone’s pet, ALASTOR

47. Don’t die.

48. I never want to hear the words “cum-plete” again.

49. STOP HAVING FIGHTS ACROSS THE BUILDING LUCIFER AND ALASTOR!!

50. If Charlie is passed out on the couch LET HER SLEEP

51. No making bombs in the hotel Cherri!

52. Stop breaking rules and then saying it’s “FOR SIR PENTIOUS!”

53. Angel don’t try to shoot someone if they break spaghetti.

54. Don’t break spaghetti. Or “ruin” Italian food. Whatever the fuck that means. This apparently includes pineapple on pizza.

55. Don’t mention Valentino unless Angel brings him up first.

56. Don’t comment on Angel and Husk’s flirting.

57. Only call Angel “Anthony” if things are serious (or if you’re Husk)

58. Don’t use any of the nicknames Husk and Angel use for each other. This includes but is not limited to: “Whiskers”, “Legs”, “Kitty”, “Webs”, “Tony”, “Love”, and “Baby.”

59. It’s better not to question whatever facts Husk gives about his past.

60. Family dinners at 6 pm unless you can’t make it due to prior obligation. Game nights after on Sundays.

61. No hunting people for sport and NO KNIFE MONOPOLY.

62. Don’t attach knives to a roomba so you can have a “boyfriend” Niffty.

63. Keep Niffty away from Roombas.

64. Alastor, treat people with decency. Really, it’s not that hard.

65. No making giant ducks that breathe fire to chase people around the hotel just because they call you short.

66. Therapy. Everyone.

67. DONT HAVE SEX ON THE BAR WHAT THE FUCK GUYS?!

68. If Valentino enters the property you have permission to stab him.

69. “Hell is forever” is bullshit. You guys aren’t. You can do this.

[uniteds]

stuff that happened in the 2022/2023 football season that should send us into a coma but we’re too desensitized:

1. the whole ass world cup in the middle of the season. what was that

2. manchester united sacking ronaldo and announcing a sale of the club in the middle of the world cup

3. ronaldo getting dropped at the world cup and his replacement scoring a hattrick immediately after

4. keeping up with the belgians (world cup edition)

5. keeping up with the belgians (courtois saying he doesn’t respect kdb after stealing his missus)

6. ronaldo stans beefing with a little moroccan girl

7. the kingdom of saudi arabia buying newcastle united and then telling the premier league that they didn’t and the premier league going “oh okay if you say so”

8. megan thee stallion being romelu lukaku’s date to lautaro martinez’s wedding

9. pique cheating on shakira and then shakira releasing a diss track about it

10. shakira figuring out pique cheated on her because someone ate her strawberry jam and pique doesn’t eat strawberry jam

11. apparently the girl pique cheated on shakira with (clara) cheating on pique with pep

12. wagatha christie libel case

13. real madrid dropping a video accusing barcelona of fascism and the government of cataluyna getting involved

14. the pope coming out as a manchester united fan

15. the one napoli fan that basically made zielinski strip on the pitch

16. mount vesuvius park shutting down because napoli fans wanted to fake an eruption as a celebration

17. frank lampard taking everton into a relegation battle, getting sacked, and then taking chelsea into a relegation battle

18. on that note: chelsea were in a relegation scrap and finished 12th

19. mourinho lost his first ever european final to sevilla europa league black magic

20. whatever the fuck borussia dortmund did on the last day of the bundesliga season

21. anthony martial’s ex wife chasing his first wife down a french motorway with a baby in the passenger seat

22. psg suspending messi because he took an unsanctioned trip to saudi arabia and then unsuspending him two days later because they didn’t want people talking about geopolitics

23. the absolutely bizarre messi apology video released by psg

24. spurs refunding their fans’ tickets after being embarrassing

25. pep’s heartbreak over the fact julia roberts is a manchester united fan

26. chelsea scored one goal in the month of april

27. chelsea and spurs had six managers between them and won one match combined between march and april

28. mourinho fighting anthony taylor after the europa league final

29. milan derby in the ucl for the first time since 2005

30. luis enrique saying he’s cool with the spanish players having sex during the world cup as long as they’re not having orgies

31. luis enrique saying he doesn’t have sex anymore unless his wife wants to

32. man city charged with 115 counts of financial doping and trying to get the barrister in charge disqualified because he’s an arsenal fan

33. mourinho wire-taping himself to catch referees being corrupt

34. ryan reynolds and mac from it’s always sunny in philadelphia buying a football club and that football club getting promoted

35. pele died rip

36. women football awards sponsored by shein and klarna having a category for “male football ally of the year” and it’s just random men that went to one (1) women’s game

37. barcelona negreia case (how do you say calciopoli in catalan?)

38. infantino saying he feels gay, african, like a migrant worker, disabled, arab, and qatari

39. infantino saying he was oppressed as a child because he was ginger and italy is not safe for gingers

40. david alaba’s father in law getting arrested for being one the leaders of a far right group plotting to overthrow the german government

41. richarlison being tumblr’s it girl for a month and then not scoring a goal for the next four

42. juventus being in the middle of another corruption scandal and being docked points because of it

43. two teams getting investigated by the british government for playing football the weekend the queen died

44. gavi getting a yellow card in the first minute of a football match

45. pogba’s brother was arrested by french authorities for being part of a group-organized extortion attempt against pogba

46. richarlison getting a tattoo of neymar’s face and neymar paying him 30k to get it removed

47. iker casillas coming out, puyol implying they had a thing, and both of them retracting it in the most misha collins way possible.

48. sane and mane fight

49. zlatan retired from football

50. barca withholding about 50 million in wages from their players and somehow frenkie still didn’t want to join manchester united

[withahappyrefrain]

⭐ 60 Fun Meet Cutes ⭐

1) A and B’s coffee orders are identical. Confusion (and promised calls) occur.

2) A always steals B’s parking spot and normally they wouldn't say anything but not today asshole!

3) A and B are seated next to each other at the singles table for a wedding.

4) B owns a bookshop and A really needs this book because their book club meeting is in two days.

5) A is a doctor/nurse treating B for an injury, but B won't stop flirting.

6) A pretends to be B’s significant other because they can tell that creep is bothering B.

7) They meet at the dog park and their dogs won't stop playing with one another.

8) They meet at the dog park and B’s dog won't stop following A’s!

9) They're both at a party and notice the other is sitting alone on the couch so we join.

10) They get volun-told to do a karaoke duet by their respective friend groups.

12) A and B’s families have been trying to set them up for years. They meet by accident.

13) A runs a stand at the local farmers market that B loves (the owner being cute and sweet is a major plus too).

14) They grab the same book at the library.

15) “You have the wrong number, but stay on!”

16) A and B have been set up on a blind date together. Neither one of them expect it to go well, given their mutual friend's track record.

17) A and B both want the last pack of cigarettes. It's not even for themselves, but they'll certainly argue about it.

18) "Hi, I'm pretty sure I saw you on a dating app and while I swiped right, you did not and wow you're beautiful in person."

19) A’s a tour guide for B, who is currently supervising a field trip of twenty seven-year olds.

20) A is B’s least favorite author but they don't realize until halfway through their rant.

21) "Hey, my friend is into your friend. But they're too scared to make a move, can you help me get them together?"

22) They're at the grocery store and A can't reach the item on the top shelf, so B helps them.

23) “Hey, so I helped your grandparent cross the street and they insisted that I meet you, their grandchild.”

24) It's their high school reunion and A is like eighty percent sure B was their lab partner, unfortunately B has no idea what they're talking about.

25) A’s friends insisted on going to a strip club for a bachelor/bachelorette party and A is really enjoying their time talking to B, the hostess.

26) An unexpected torrential downpour happens and they end up taking shelter at the same place.

27) “I'm your neighbor and I swear to God, if you don't turn that music down-"

28) They’re both PhD students and their dissertations contradict each other's and boy, are they going to have some intense eye contact about it.

29) B is A’s child's new teacher and their kid won't stop mentioning that their parent is single.

30 “I'm so sorry, but my friends won't stop bothering me until I get someone's number tonight, it doesn't have to be your real one, I'm just so tired of their shenanigans.”

31) A is the hot firefighter who visits B’s classroom to talk about safety.

32) A and B are paired up for a roller coaster and one of them needs to hold the other's hand to get through the ride.

33) “Look, your date may not want to dance with you, but I certainly will!”

34) They're both celebrities and their fans ship them so A and B do an interview together for their respective press tours.

35) They're both on the bus and A is reading the book B’s been wanting so badly and they gotta know if it's good or not because the waitlist at the library is ridiculous.

36) They're at an art museum and have wildly different interpretations of the same portrait.

37) It's been arranged by their families for A and B to marry as a peace treaty. When they meet for the first time, they bond over their families fighting

38) "Do you mind if I sit here? There are no other seats available."

39) A doesn’t know why their friend's girlfriend invited them to their coworker's nephew's bar mitzvah but they have a stain from the chocolate fountain and B is an angel with their Tide to go stick.

40) “If you don't fix your collar/tie/hat, I will do it myself!”

41) “The food in your grocery store cart looks so good, what are you making?"

42) A sees B at the Renaissance Fair and is determined to give B a rose.

43) They're both at the eye doctor and can't figure out which glasses to buy.

44) They end up sitting next to each other in a movie theater during a horror movie, and cling to each other for moral support

45) A owns a flower shop and B just needs the courage to go inside and say hello.

46) B’s dog somehow got out and A find it. Yes, it's late at night but from B’s voice over the phone, A knows they need to return this dog STAT.

47) A has always signed up to bring the dessert for their work's potluck. Who does B think they are taking their slot?

48) A’s friends signed them up for a dating app and set them up on a date with B without A’s knowledge.

49) B’s running an adoption event and A doesn’t even like animals but my God, is B so damn cute with them.

50) They're spies who have to pretend to be a couple for an assignment.

51) They’re professors who teach the same course but disagree over teaching methods.

52) A is B’s friend's asshole boss and B is just trying to drop off C’s lunch without strangling A.

53) A’s a witch who run a shop. B barges in, asking about the best curse to give someone (without killing them of course).

54) A is a hairdresser at a fancy salon and B shouldn't be spending $150 on a haircut but they need to talk to A.

55) A is a personal trainer and B is their client and A knows they need to keep it professional but it's really hard!

56) A is the photographer and B’s the caterer for the worst wedding ever.

57) It's the county Fair and A has lost their niece/nephew, so they ask B for help.

58) A is having a horrendous case of writer’s block, B works at the cafe A has been staying in for the past few days and is very concerned.

59) Hades and Persephone AU bc why not

60) A is a tattoo artist and it's B's first time getting a tattoo.

[morganski-19]

Chills Right to the Marrow Part 33

ao3 link| part 1 . . . part 30, part 31, part 32

“No,” Wayne says. Nothing more to follow. Just no.

“I know it’s a big offer,” Steve continues to explain. “But Dustin brought it up and I wouldn’t have accepted it if it wasn’t a good idea.”

The offer is too much. Too big. Too unnecessary. Wayne can figure all of this out on his own. He doesn’t need someone’s charity. Especially a rich boy’s charity.

“And I heard you out. But now I’m saying no.” He walks down the hall, away from the waiting room. He hears footsteps following him but can’t seem to care.

“Did you actually?” Steve insists. Coming up next to him. “Because I would back off if I thought you actually heard me out.”

Wayne doesn’t want to deal with this right now. He doesn’t even want to think of the offer. It’s a ridiculous thing to even think of in the first place. There is never a reality where Wayne would accept this, so why would he hear Steve out. Whether it was Dustin’s plan or not. It’s not his job to pander to what other people want for him.

It was the end of this discussion, and Steve needed to know that.

Wayne stays silent for the rest of the walk to Eddie’s room. Stopping outside of the door with a thick sigh.

“Kid, I appreciate the offer, I really do. But my answer is no, and you need to respect that.”

When he opens the door, Eddie’s sitting up on the bed. Looking confused and a bit intrigued. It’s a cruel thought, but Wayne misses when he was in the coma and anything he said, Eddie didn’t hear. Or at least, couldn’t react to.

“What offer?” he asks, putting down the puzzle he was doing.

“One that doesn’t matter, because it’s not happening.” Wayne sits down, giving Steve a look that he hopes makes him drop it.

Eddie would probably be on Wayne’s side. He hopes. But there’s something between him and the Harrington boy that he doesn’t understand. Something that he doesn’t even think they understand quite yet.

All he knows is that Steve is here a lot more than he used to be. Ever since that blow up, him and Eddie have been closer. There are days when Wayne shows up and it’s just Steve. Sitting close to Eddie and they’re just talking. Whispering between each other like there are other people in the room. There aren’t, but apparently that doesn’t matter.

It scares Wayne, just a little bit. He knows Eddie is gay. He told Wayne himself a few years ago. Scared out of his mind and a bag already packing in his room. He was ready to be kicked out and skip town. When Wayne would never. Not about this, or anything really.

Eddie was his kid, through and through. There was nothing that would make that change. Even with the murder allegations. It wasn’t going to make Wayne think differently about him.

But now, he’s scared. Because Eddie looks at Steve with some kind of awe and reverie that he’s never seen. Wayne’s not stupid, he knows what that means.

Doesn’t mean he likes it, but he knows it.

He has no clue about Steve. What this would mean for him. Whether he’s accepting, or maybe gay too. There’s nothing there for him to go with. All he knows about that is from stories, and none of them are good.

But when he looks at Eddie with the same look in his eye. Giving back as much as Eddie gives. Wayne’s starting to think that there is more there. There shouldn’t be, but there is.

He’s refusing to think more about this. To wonder if that is going to go anywhere. Or that he’s right. Because it’s rude to speculate about people. Especially about this. So he doesn’t. And does all at the same time because he feels the need to look out for Eddie. Eddie’s already been hurt so much, he doesn’t need heartbreak on top of it.

So living in the same house with this kid is not a good idea. Even if it means bringing Eddie back to the motel while he looks for a place to live. That is better than putting Eddie in a situation where he could get hurt again.

“Dustin had this idea,” Steve starts, not listening to Wayne’s silent protest, “that you and Wayne could come and stay with me for a few weeks. Just until you find a permanent place to live.”

Eddie continues to look confused. “Oh.”

“Yeah, and I had this whole long speech to try and convince him before Dustin could get to him, because he will no matter what happens. But Wayne didn’t want to hear it.”

Eddie leans back in the bed, trying to wrap his mind around it all. “And you would be ok with that?”

Steve shrugs. “I mean, yeah. It’s not the first time I let someone stay when they needed to. I let Mrs. Mayfield stay when she was looking for a new house. And this one time, Robin’s house has to get fumigated, so I let her, and her parents stay for the few days they were kicked out.”

Wayne takes a bit of surprise to this. It somehow makes the offer more genuine.

“Your parents don’t have a problem with this?” he asks. Realizing this is the first time that Wayne’s ever even mentioned them to Steve.

He hasn’t heard Steve mention them at all. Or anyone, for that matter.

Steve scratches at the back of his neck. “They kind of officially moved out of town after the mall fire. They’ve been back a few times, around holidays, but only for a day or two. If it weren’t for me still living there, they would have sold the house already.”

“Didn’t you get, like, badly injured in the mall fire,” Eddie asks. Looking sympathetic.

“Yeah,” Steve said with another shrug. “They stuck around for about a week after it happened to help me out a little. But after that, they were gone.”

Wayne’s not sure how he’s supposed to react to this. He would never have imagined moving away without his kid. Even if they were an adult, which Steve barely is. Wayne would still stay until it was the kid’s choice to leave. After that, there would still be a room with all of their old things. A space that they could stay in, if they ever needed to.

Apparently, that’s not the same for everyone.

He rethinks over the offer. Taking out his own stubbornness, as much as he could at least. It’s honestly really kind of Steve to offer up a space in his home for them. For anyone. With a house that big and only him in it, it had to be lonely. Maybe for a while, he and Eddie could make it a little less lonely.

“What was the rest of the speech?” Wayne asks. Causing both Steve and Eddie to look at him with shock. Wayne ignores it. “You said that you wouldn’t stop until I heard you out. I’m hearing you out.”

Steve smiles just a little bit before launching into all the benefits of moving in with him. There was a gym in garage that had everything Eddie needed to do his physical therapy from home. And a ground floor bedroom with a bathroom so he didn’t have to use the stairs. A pool that Steve could fill if Eddie wanted to do some water therapy. Plenty of space for Wayne and Eddie to live comfortably while Wayne searches for a place to live.

Plenty of empty bedrooms for storage if Wayne needed it. He doesn’t know why that stands out the most to him, but it does.

They were right. It would be nice to bring Eddie back to a place that had an actual bed. Somewhere with a lot of space for his recovery. Somewhere where Wayne could save up most of his paychecks for a house.

He might actually find a place a lot nicer than what he was looking at now.

Wayne accepts the offer before he can find a way to reject it. Hoping that it’s the right decision.

tag list (closed): @the-they-who-nerded, @insteviewetrust, @croatoan-like-its-hot, @jettestar,

@tinyplanet95, @steddie-as-they-go, @slv-333, @littlecelestialmoth, @thatonebadideapanda,

@fandomsanddeath, @marismorar, @wonderland-girl143-blog, @glass-bottle03, @gutterflower77,

@here4thetrama, @goodolefashionedloverboi, @jaytriesstuff, @cryptid-system, @manda-panda-monium,

@resident-gay-bitch, @anaibis, @xxsutherlandxx, @forevermineliv, @mugloversonly,

@gregre369, @n0-1-important, @different-tale-student, @spectrum-spectre, @tartarusknight,

@devondespresso, @swimmingbirdrunningrock, @cheertain, @anti-ozzie, @autumncrocusandladybug,

@greeniebean911, @cr0w-culture, @stillfullofshit, @connected-dots, @daisynotquake,

@morgannotlefay, @a-little-unsteddie, @dolphincliffs, @maskofmirrors, @me-and-my-sloth,

@papergrenade, @waelkyring, @sweetheartprincess28, @katouasobj, @astercomoasflores

[shanastoryteller]

Happy birthday! Hope its great! The Untamed please? Its one of my favorite fandoms you've gotten me into 🥰

a continuation of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38

Mo Xuanyu is married to the Second Jade of Lan.

Song Lan had known she’d married into the Lan – it was obvious – but he’d thought it was some not so bright cultivator that had been bewitched by her pretty face, or possibly literally bewitched, which he’d already decided wasn’t any of his damn business. If some stupid Lan wants a terrifying and amoral demonic cultivator for a wife, then good luck to them. Except they obviously don’t know she’s a demonic cultivator, considering their clan’s history with the original. But again, not his business, not his problem. His first priority is Xiao Xingchen and if Mo Xuanyu is going help him, then he really doesn’t care about who she’s terrorizing in her spare time.

Except it appears he’d underestimated her.

Because she’s apparently Jin Xuanyu now, legitimized and married off to the second most eligible bachelor in the cultivation world, superseded only by his brother who’s been unofficially off the market for over a decade.

Hanguang Jun had lived as a widower and Song Lan had been convinced he was going to die as one. Uncharitably, he wonders if maybe Lan Wangji just has a type, then feels bad about it in the next moment.

She orders Sect Leader Lan around and he lets her. She glares Hanguang Jun down.

To say absolutely nothing of the way she’d taken down Xue Yang. And then given him that dubious honor of taking credit for the kill, likely because she didn’t want to try and explain to her family how she’d managed it.

She had been clever and dangerous as a teenager. She’s managed to vault herself from disgraced bastard daughter to wife of the heir to the Lan and the legal mother to the third in line who will likely be the one actually succeeding Lan Xichen.

Jin Xuan – Xuanyu is a friend. She has very firmly shown herself to be a friend, helping him and protecting Xiao Xingchen and showing what certainly looks like genuine kindness to the girl who’d helped them, A-Qing.

Possibly she’s done all this to ensure their silence over what she used to be, what she is, but if so then it’s been successful. Betrayal would be a poor repayment for everything she’s done. The Lan hadn’t helped him or Xiao Xingchen. She had. The Lan can take care of themselves and if they can’t withstand the machinations of one woman, they deserve what they get.

Xiao Xingchen hasn’t said much, and Song Lan owes him so many apologies, but not here in front of everyone. He at least agrees to fly with him without much fuss. It will be difficult for him to fly with all three of them for any significant distance, but A-Qing asks Xuanyu to fly with her and she agrees with a smile.

Lan Sizhui doesn’t seem particularly thrilled, but he apparently is far too respectful of his step mother to disagree with her.

They’re flying back the inn when Xiao Xingchen presses himself back against his chest and tilts his head back to say, “Song Lan.”

It’s been so long since he’s heard Xiao Xingchen say his name. He has to swallow before he says, “Yes?”

“That’s,” he starts, then stops. “Who was that?”

“Who?” he asks. “We’re traveling with the Lans.”

“The woman,” he says.

His lips tug down into a frown but he tries not to panic. He’s been under charms to confuse and dull his senses for months. “That was Mo Xuanyu.”

If he’s already confused, getting into her legitimization probably won’t help anything.

Xiao Xingchen is silent for a few more moment. Then he asks, “Are you sure?”

What on earth. “Who else would she be?”

“She moves like – and sounds – but. It can’t. She’s – different,” he says.

As wonderful as it is to hear him speaking, Song Lan wishes he were saying less worrying things. “It’s been a long time since we saw her last. She’s grown up and married. Of course she’s different.” He squeezes his arms around Xiao Xingchen’s waist, hoping it’s not too presumptuous when they haven’t discussed anything yet. “It’s okay, after everything that’s happened this all must feel very sudden. Xuanyu is the one that found you. We can trust her.”

He thinks they can trust her. They can trust her more than any other sect cultivator, which granted isn’t saying much.

Xiao Xingchen relaxes against him. “Alright. If you say so.”

[im-out-of-it]

season 1, episode 5 continued

27. “Swear to me you won’t take your eyes off of clary. I, I can’t believe I even asked you that. you won’t let me down.”- jace. I can’t believe you asked that either jace. all he does is take advantage of Alec. he expects Alec to drop everything and help him right away. so not only does Alec have to watch someone he cares for falls in love with another girl, he has to babysit that same girl who is already causing enough chaos with his life and family

27. this is something clary will never understand. she doesn’t care about the law because it’s in her way.

28. Alec knows if he messes up, he will be held accountable. Jocelyn didn’t teach that to clary. Alec wants to be a leader and he’s aware that rules exist for a reason

29. and then clary is like I know you’ve been trying to help but basically you can do more. bitch, she is asleep, she’s not hurt, and Valentine has an army. you can’t just walk in and pick up your mother and be out. I’m trying to be sympathetic but she’s a migraine

30. Alec is already in trouble because of clary and here she goes wanting to go to her old loft without getting clave permission. not only does she need to be kept safe but she wants to go out where so many people are already probably hunting her. fucking hell, this girl doesn’t have a brain

31. okay so Magnus is getting right to it 🔥

32. ruining a perfectly good date Alec and Magnus could have had but noooooooooo clary had to go run off AGAIN. so not only has alec broken so many rules for her but she has literally no respect for Alec. not only does jace like clary but Alec has to witness jace’s feelings day in and day out. Alec has to babysit her while he gets berated by his own mother and then jace. GIVE THIS MAN A BREAK

33. I’m sorry but how is it Alec’s fault that she ran off?????

34. “You know the difference between the circle and the clave? I don’t. They all look the same to me. Shadowhunters think they are better than us. They’re the ones killing each other over petty disagreements. They expect us to obey orders they don’t follow themselves.”-wolf leader (I can’t think of his name) but man has a point. shadowhunters in general do think they’re better. they had the uprising but shadowhunters still don’t talk about how their own “people” committed atrocities and look at downworlders as if they’re the problem. Valentine was jealous of downworlders having powers he didn’t. Shadowhunters started hunting downworlders first I believe. Jace gets punishment in season two because he didn’t swear allegiance to the clave but he killed a wolf and I didn’t see much punishment for that. the clave and shadowhunters can do whatever and it’s not a problem until a downworlder does the same

36. Alec: am I gay? yes I’m gay but not gay for him

37. it’s insane how clary runs off and jace’s first instinct is to blame Alec. because that’s his fault, how??????

38. Simon gets kidnapped again because of clary because she ran off yet again.

39. Alec watching Simon climbing and being quick and seeing runes and he’s like now wait a damn minute. “running fire escapes excites mundanes, ill never understand these people” 💀

40. and the fact is, alec is genuinely worried and mad. he knows his mom will rip him a new one when she finds out. he also knows jace will be angry because jace is obsessed with clary. he could’ve been training at the institute or having a drink with Magnus but he has to babysit and now chase a stupid 18 year old girl because she didn’t care enough to sit her childish ass down. literally Alec can never be happy with all of his responsibilities. he has to keep jace out of trouble and now clary and prove to his parents that he can handle it. it’s not that surprising that he doesn’t seem happy.

41. (he’s just so fucking beautiful) 🥰

I don’t really see many people actually talking about what Alec goes through in the first season. Maryse is always spewing hateful comments towards Alec because apparently he’s not good enough, jace states Alec isn’t doing a good enough job, like he doesn’t really have anyone in his corner. he spends the first season getting berated. so no wonder he’s not happy

part 3 coming to a stadium near ya ✨

[httpiastri]

this took way longer than expected but im back!

quick warning: this ask is really really long so putting that separation banner thing might help but if not, i hope this doesn’t bother anyone who has this pop up on their dash 😞🙏 (and please don’t hate me if it does)

important timestamps in pepe’s stream:

0:33 — pepe smiles and waves

1:21 — idk what this is but it’s so cute

3:54 — he got embarrassed 😭😭

9:03 — this is just attractive tbh

12:38 — 😊😊 (but really though why is he so casually attractive this is so unfair)

16:03 — his laugh…

12:33 — praising his mum

18:13 — from “i’m so sad” (x3) to “just get good mate”

18:37 — chitter chatter

19:32 — laugh

20:15 — quick flex 🤭😋

30:25 — his inner dork shows up and starts rating pokémon for us

42:19 — quick drop of the f-word

43:05 — bro idk this is just so cute he looks like that one specific picture of an otter begging for food with its paws together 😭😭

51:55 — quick mention of an incident (or backstory?) regarding his name that he proceeds to not tell us about

53:09 — this isn’t really pepe but christian has such a stupid sense of humour and icl i laughed

1:00:40 — christian’s stupid humour shows up again and this si the exact kind of joke i’d laugh so hard at and make under very specific circumstances and PEPE’S laugh is just so endearing here i love him so much

1:02:38 — pepe is good at chess, according to christian. don’t know if this is true— i used to play too but i forgot the rules and my family exclusively plays checkers (everyone’s insanely good at it) so i currently have zero knowledge about chess.

1:04:32 — “too tall 😞😞” (again, not for me, because my head would be right at chest level, as you so perfectly put into perspective for me😋😋)

1:05:55 — “kimi was always perfect” talk by christian and pepe

1:07:07 — pepe’s upset, christian says exactly what i’d say to him (this is just sweet tbh)

1:09:40 — quick stretch 🥰🥰

1:10:58 — i might be biased but i just think he’s so good at explaining and putting into perspective what exactly happens/happened during the race for us non-drivers

1:11:20 — ^^

1:11:37 — also so endearing

1:12:50 — sportsmanship or whatever but i love that he’s so respectful towards everyone

1:13:38 — kendall jenner mention by christian, also don’t knowwhat it is about this moment but it made me feel something about their friendship with sebastian (i don’t know how to put this feeling into words but i think they are mostly positive feelings)

1:24:33 — quick little dance to gata only (why’s he literally doing my default dance though 😭😭) but it’s okay i just think it’s so adorable

1:25:25 — CORRECTION: he can bench 138kg… which is insane to me but also he can do 150 on leg press?? that’s like three of me bro that’s so scary (🥰🤭😍😊) to think about

1:27:10 — christian reacts to pepe’s fitness the way i would (insanely)

1:38:56 — driving driving 🏎️🏎️ (really long section where i wanted to stare at him but was also enchanted and captivated by the smooth driving)

1:50:16 — “that’s what they said” joke 🤨📸

1:54:55 — quick thumbs up and a smile (what a lovable sweetheart)

2:12:00 — quick 🫶 followed by him crossing his arms

i’m sure there are more significant moments than this (like when he accidentally launched a tomato at christian in their game ((this is significant to me because again, i have a really stupid sense of humour and laughed really hard at that too)) but this is all i recorded and they’re mainly significant because they made me feel things (🤥🤥)

okay that’s it, bye bye!! some of the timestamps at the start (ish) might be a little off and you might’ve already watched the entire video but i hope this was helpful for you and anyone who may come across this (tbh this wasn’t an entirely selfless endeavour but anyway)— until next time (if and when new pepe content is dropped)!

p.s. i hope you also have a lovely lovely day ahead jackie!!

- 🪷

i'm very late but omFG i love you so much? you're crazy good ????? this was such a pleasure to read and watch, thank u sm 😭💗

(ppl cant hate since its about pepe <3<3 sorry not sorry guys)

0:33 and 1:21 – such a gorgeous boy :(( i love him so much :(((( i also don't really understand what's happening at 1:21 but his smile and laughter after makes me melt

3:54 – HE'S SO EMBARRASSED LMAO WHAT A CUTIE ?? he just doesn't stop laughing, and the little blush on his cheeks... the way his voice changes and 😭

9:03 – he's SO attractive and for what? he's not even doing anything?? but the arms around the chair..... and like i'm a knuckle cracker and hand/finger stretcher as well so whenever he does it i just melt bcs i find it so hot :( also him when chris goes "ÖÖÖÖÖÖ" into the mic and then complaining about the music being so loud idK HES JUST SO CUTE DOING PRETTY MUCH NOTHING BYE–

12:38 – casually attractive is a very fitting term for him... how is it possible ???

16:03 – I WANNA SCREAM AND CRY ?????? no his smile is the most adorable thing ever. i rlly wanna make a pepe laughter compilation but then i would never do anything productive ever again....

16:33 – mum mention <3<3 boys who are appreciative of their mothers <3<3<3<3

18:13 – the switchup 😭 and also him emphasizing "so", like "i'm SO sad"....... and also also his laughter after it 😭 and when he does that kind of like chortle thing? like at the back of his mouth thing? idk what it's called in english, someone help????? idk it's adorable anyway

18:37 – my bestie translated for me but i still understood nothing 💔 HE SOUNDS SO CUTE THO like him speaking spanish is always so 💗

19:32 – BABYYYYYYY!!!!! he is the most adorable person ever, im not even kidding

20:15 – oh i'm totally okay, no worries 👍

30:25 – I LOVE THIS i have no knowledge of pokemons (that was an overstatement, i know stuff but i haven't played since i was like 10) but i love that sm, dorky boys >>>>> the way he speaks about them is so cute idc. also him saying that pokemon is a very important thing to him is so 😭

42:19 – i definitely did not clip this the second i first read through this ask.... no but like why was that so attractive 🫠🫠 not fair (also him apologizing for it?? b a b y)

43:05 – IM CRYING I KNOW JUST WHAT U MEAN BUT I CANT FIND IT 😭😭

adorable tho ^^

51:55 – why does he not say more about this?? wth??? can someone fill me in ??????????? (fits very well with something i've written for the college!pepe fic tho 🤭)

53:09 & 1:00:40 – i love chris :(( i love both of their senses of humor omg, and pepe's laugh yet again..... my heart is going crazy

1:02:38 – okay i actually know NO chess, like i know the rules but nothing else. i don't even like it usually, but pepe playing chess........ why is that attractive 🫠🫠 and being able to talk while doing it also? he looks so smart? and even doing speed chess???? waaaaaaah 😭 and chris praising him 🙃 (checkers is so cool tho, i do not know the rules but anytime i watch anyone play it im very impressed)

1:04:32 – not too tall for you 🥰 that makes me very happy 🥰 i used to have a thing for boys the same height as me but not anymore so pepe bby you're definitely not too tall <3<3

1:05:55 – i forget sometimes that drivers like them are around the same age as kimi and would've driven against him in karting lol, like i forget that even pepe and kimi are in the same category rn ?? idk life is just 😵‍💫😵‍💫

1:07:07 – "i'm always going to think you're doing a good job" 🥺 so relatable 🥺 also pepe's grin when he's being praised.......

1:09:40 – oh im alright, thanks for asking 🫡🫡 no issues, my heart definitely isn't going crazy

1:10:58 – oh yes definitely !! as someone who can't even drive a regular car, i still understand very well? and all of the details are so interesting, i love hearing them talk about it. being nerdy about the stuff you like is soooo attractive ??? idk maybe that's just me tho

1:11:37 – nyeoooommmm 🥺 baby

1:12:50 – love love love that, i feel like the two of them are quite often very honest in interviews and such? like when they went on the feeder series pod together, they had no issues criticizing stuff they don't like. and so like the same here, they aren't just saying this because they're friends with gabri i feel, it's just honesty and 🥺 it's very endearing

1:13:38 – that was so random 😭 also funny how he mentioned seb but didn't then think about the fact that seb was there and probs could've ran into her ?? 😭 but yea idk their trio friendship is so endearing idk

1:24:33 – more spanish making me weak in my knees even as im sitting down 😶 aND CUTIE DANCE!!!!!! god he rlly got my thoughts running... like listening to songs in spanish with him and dancing and him singing along and just ??? no i cant take it (ALSO PLS THATS SO CUTE KSDHFFK DANCE W HIM!!!)

1:25:25 – okay so like two days ago when i went to the gym, i was like "ain't no way pepe is gonna beat me in leg press" so i went and did 160kg just out of pure stubbornness 😶 i've never done over like 110 or 120kg but i was determined. however, i did *not* attempt to beat him in bench because i can only do max like 60kg LMAO so nope. but yeah it's definitely insane...... scary in a good way 🥰

1:27:10 – chris is very relatableeeeeeeeeeee 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠 gosh

1:38:56 – him driving is so...... also idk why i love the sight of him wearing gloves for the sim AAAAAAA like i know it's not an uncommon thing but still like... idk it's just attractive 😶 and him driving that smoothly and easily while also chatting???? stop it pepe im blushing-

1:50:16 – ......no comment

1:54:55 – prettiest baby boy in the world, i kid you not

2:12:00 – who allowed him to first be the cutest cutie ever and then cross his arms like that, eye-

again tysm!! this stream gave me new hope in life 😭 whenever i feel bad i just go and watch it and...... well yeah 🥺 hope you have a lovely lovely weekend darling!!!! <3<3

[ciaossu-imagines]

zakuro (khr) + any questions from any of the prompts you have provided.

I think you’re spoiling me, my dear, with characters you know I love and I am very, very appreciative of that 😊 It means a lot to me! I enjoyed getting to pick something for him and I hope you’ll enjoy!

1. Name

Weird personal headcanon here, but I don’t think Zakuro is his birth name. I do think he kind of abandoned his birth name, and everything he was before, when he joined up with Byakuran. Zakuro was the new name that Byakuran gave to him, of course naming him after a flower, as Byakuran is wont to do. This was just another way for Zakuro to prove his loyalty and his complete servitude towards Byakuran, someone he considers a savior, someone who grants him a true shot at life.

16. Home/place that they live

It’s been shown that Zakuro comes from extreme poverty and I think that is something that is always reflected in his living spaces even after years of him having a stable, reliable income and not having to worry about money. He prefers to second-hand shop for furniture or to go to big box stores like IKEA. To him, the cost of something is always the most important thing and he struggles to buy something more expensive, even if he likes the looks of it, or if he finds it more comfortable, when there’s a cheaper option available. He counts himself lucky, honestly, just to have a roof consistently over his head. His apartment or living spaces are always very spartan, with just the minimal amount of furniture needed. His television is small and low-end, just performing what he needs it to do. He’s very frugal about a lot of things when it comes to his living quarters, including food and toiletries, a lot of which he’ll buy at something like the dollar tree.

32. Toxic traits

Zakuro is by no means a saint. He’s not even the nicest person, truth be told. He has a metric shit ton of flaws and faults. He’s stubborn and incredibly set in his ways. Even when proven wrong or even when he knows he should change, he has a need to dig his heels in and double down. He is easy to upset, being someone who gets cranky and irritable over the smallest of things and has a sharp tongue. He cheats at card games and whenever he thinks he can in a situation, if he feels it will help him out. He hates losing and can get overly competitive. He's too frugal to the point of being stingy at times.

33. Redeeming qualities

All those horrible things about his personality though? They’re not the entirety of who Zakuro is. He’s a complex person, with so much going on in his mind and his own rich internal world. He has just as many positive qualities as he has negative ones, even if they don’t show as obviously on the surface. When someone does earn his trust and respect, Zakuro is the most loyal person. He will follow his friend’s, lovers, or found family to the ends of the globe if need be. He’s going to be there for them, no matter what it is they need. While he might grouch and grump, he will always pull through for them. If anyone were to say anything bad about ‘his people’, he will tear them a new one and will put his all into defending them. Zakuro is also surprisingly empathetic. He’s been kicked around by life, given a real raw deal of it, and he knows pain and sorrow all too well, which makes him able to understand, accept, and sympathize with others who are going through rough times. Dealing with someone who is really going through is is one of the few times you’ll see Zakuro’s soft side. While he’s stingy, it’s something borne out of fear. He’s lazy when it comes to studying, but with financials, he’s actually really kind of a genius. He can set you up with a manageable budget, guide you on stocks and investments, and file your taxes. When it comes to things he’s interested in, he's willing to put in the work to learn, practice, train and figure them out, if they’re subjects or skills. Because he is such a flawed individual, who is aware of that fact about himself, he’s also someone who is more willingly to accept flaws in other people.

[yuisdad]

The Otome Game fandom is too comfortable with inappropriate age gaps

As the title of this post says, I believe that the otome game fandom is a bit too comfortable with how they view inappropriate age gaps. And when I say inappropriate, I mean relationships that involve a minor (17 and under) and an adult (~20+).

Before I list off examples, I want to clear something up. Regardless if it’s fictional or not, people are still allowed to feel uncomfortable with these age gaps, even if they aren’t called out in universe. It’s fine if someone personally doesn’t see an issue with it (i’d still side eye you personally) but dismissing people’s valid discomfort over these age gaps is weird, at least to me.

Age lift examples:

These are examples of games changing a few ages around in order to get them out into English-speaking continents (I don’t know why more otome games do this honestly). These games are Sweet Fuse At Your Side and Taisho X Alice.

Sweet Fuse had to change the protagonist and one of the love interests’ ages (17 to 18 and 15 to 17 respectively) because, aside from one love interest being 19, the rest of them range from 20-32.

Taisho X Alice changed the following character’s ages: Yurika: 17 to 19. Alice: 17 to 19, Gretel: 15 to 18, Snow White: 18 to 20, Wolfe: 17 to 19. The rest of the love interests range from 20-23, and any references to a high school were changed to college/university.

While I can’t give a stated reason as to why Sweet Fuse changed their ages around (but I can certainly guess why) the translator for Taisho X Alice, Molly Lee, stated on a now deleted post that they changed some of the ages of the characters to meet a policy on how underage characters are being depicted (mind you, Yurika has off-screen sex with one of the adult characters and is a plot point), and the rest of the game series wouldn’t have made it into English.

I wonder why they don’t do this with other games, but my only guess is that they’re dealing with different policies depending on who’s localizing the game and what platform it’s on. Taisho X Alice was released on Steam, who, for the most part, has tighter regulations on how minors are being depicted. I’ve seen some otome game fans complain about this, but most of the age changes don’t affect the story as a whole. The only exception to this is Wolfe and Red Riding Hood, who’s friendship was acknowledged to have an odd gap in universe, but that doesn’t explain why Yurika (17) and, say, Cinderella (23), is suddenly okay game.

No age lift examples (official localizations):

This section refers to otome games that were officially released in English and have inappropriate age gaps.

Hakuoki: Chizuru is 16 and the rest of the love interests are around 19 to 28 (I’m not counting the love interests that were added from different ports because we’d be here all day lol.) People try to argue that it’s set in a time when that was commonplace, but I personally find that hard to swallow because a) there’s no in story reason for why Chizuru needed to be underaged, and 2) while the game does follow some events of the Shinsengumi timeline, it’s not a 1-1 recreation (the most notable case being adding original characters who affect the plot and adding magical properties into the plot) so I don’t buy that completely, but I can get some people’s perspective on this game specifically.

Norn9: Koharu and Nanami are 17 and 16. Their respective love interests, Masamune and Ron, are 24 and 25. While Masamune is overall a divisive character in the English-speaking fandom, I haven’t really seen anyone talk about his and Koharu’s age gap. Same applies to Ron and Nanami, but I’ve seen a few people complain about their age gap, but that’s because Ron is a walking red flag and Masamune isn’t, at least according to the game.

Nightshade: Enju is 16, and, aside from Kuroyuki, the other love interests range from 19-33 (and three of them are also related to the protagonist…) Much like the Hakuoki example above, people try to rationalize it by saying that it takes place during a time when that was excepted, but…33 and 16, even at the time, is still A LOT, so much so that Hanzo was friends with Enju’s mother before she was born, or at the very least knew her, so that makes it DOUBLE weird.

Variable Barricade: Hibari is 17 while the love interests range from 20-26. While I’ve seen some discourse surrounding the game, I’ve only seen a few people talk about the weird age gaps, even before it was released in Japan, so at least I’m a little vindicated lol.

Radiant Tale: Tifalia is 16 and, aside from Vilio (17), the other love interests range from 19-26. Since it takes place in a fictional world, this is where a lot of fans use the “it’s just fiction” remark, but as I stated before, people are still allowed to feel uncomfortable about inappropriate age gaps in fiction, even if the media itself doesn’t present it as a bad thing (which arguably makes it worse).

9 R.I.P: Misa is 17 and, while there are love interests around her age range, some of them are adults, even of their age isn’t given (except if you’re Touka). I haven’t seen a lot of people talk about it, but I just think some otome game players have unfortunately become used to it at this point.

No age lift examples (fan localizations): This section refers to fan translated otome games with inappropriate age gaps.

Black Wolves Saga: Fiona is 16 and, aside from Guillan and Rath (17 and 18), the other love interests range from 22-30. I’ve only seen some people complain about Arles (30) but not the others, which will become more prominent as the list goes on.

Bad Medicine: Hina is 17 and the love interests range from 26-33. Unlike the other examples, this is intentional due to the love interests being high school teachers and one of them being a principal, but, because it’s Rejet, they’re less focused on portraying these relationships realistically, but more so because “there’s a few people who have this kink, right?”

Arcana Famiglia: Felicita is 16, and aside from Nova, Ash and Liberta (15, 17 and 18, but Liberta and Nova are related to her) the other love interests range from 23-38 (and Jolly has a 29 year old son, so who knows how old he is.) I’ve only seen people criticize Dante, but I think it’s because he’s physically older while the others aren’t.

Brothers Conflict: While it’s based on a light novel, it still applies. Ema is 16-17 while the adult love interests range from 20-31. Thankfully, I’ve seen people complain about this more often.

Nonce examples: This is when the protagonist is an adult, but some of the love interests knew her when she was a child when they were an adult. I got this from @lolotheparagon who’s seen some shitty otome lol. Fans won’t complain about this by default since they’ll argue “at least they’re adults now!”

Cafe Enchante. While Kotone is 19, some of the non-human love interests met her when she was a child while they were an adult, even if it was relatively brief. Poor girl forgot all about it, too.

Cupid Parasite: Someone can correct me of I’m wrong, but I believe Lynette and Allan were children when Jupiter/Peter met them. Would’ve been better if he was ALSO a child, but Otomate can be dumb sometimes.

Hanaoni: Also based on a light novel, but still applies. The entire plot just feels like imprinting from Twilight but if the werewolves were in control of who they imprint on. The premise is that, due to all demons being born male, they curse human women who’s expecting daughters to give birth to children who are able to reproduce with demons. Once they reach the age of 16, these girls are forced to marry demons whom they never met. Their husbands are determined by who curses their mother (like how Kaki cursed Kanna’s mother and was part of what made her go crazy and abuse her daughter…) As the girls grow up, they’re protected by guardians, who hide in the shadows to make sure she doesn’t get assaulted by men or bullied by women. Kanna, the protagonist, wasn’t assigned guardians because, despite cursing her mother so her child can be his bride, Kaki wants nothing to do with her, so she had to suffer nearly being raped and bullied on a daily bases…But wait, IT GETS WORSE! Kanna and Kaki have met before, when she was a child and when he was physically a teenager…This series is written by a woman btw.

Collar X Malice: Ichika and Aiji have both met prior when the former rescued the latter when she was abducted by an adult. Ichika was 9 and Aiji was 16 at the time. It doesn’t help that the game constantly points out their age gap, despite Kageyuki being older than Aiji by a year. I’ve only seen my mutual bring this up, but I think it should be brought up more.

Reine des Fluers: Hubert basically raised Violette all her life and acts as an older brother figure, so why he’s a love interest is beyond me. And then it gets reversed in his good ending, where after some plot happened, Hubert is reborn as a child while Violette is his caretaker…

There’s a LOT more otome games with this issue, but these are the ones I can muster up. The moral of the story is Otome Games have an issue with inappropriate age gaps and it’s fandom shouldn’t be fine with it. This is also the reason my mutual prefers playing otome games with adult protagonists.

[st4rboyloser]

Boom boom

0: Height

1: Age

2: Shoe size

3: Do you smoke?

4: Do you drink?

5: Do you take drugs?

6: Age you get mistaken for

7: Have tattoos?

8: Want any tattoos?

9: Got any piercings?

10: Want any piercings?

11: Best friend?

12: Relationship status

13: Biggest turn ons

14: Biggest turn offs

15: Favorite movie

16: I’ll love you if…

17: Someone you miss

18: Most traumatic experience

19: A fact about your personality

20: What I hate most about myself

21: What I love most about myself

22: What I want to be when I get older

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)

24: My relationship with my parent(s)

25: My idea of a perfect date

26: My biggest pet peeves

27: A description of the girl/boy I like

28: A description of the person I dislike the most

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend

30: What I hate the most about work/school

31: What my last text message says

32: What words upset me the most

33: What words make me feel the best about myself

34: What I find attractive in women

35: What I find attractive in men

36: Where I would like to live

37: One of my insecurities

38: My childhood career choice

39: My favorite ice cream flavor

40: Who I wish I could be

41: Where I want to be right now

42: The last thing I ate

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately

44: A random fact about anything

oh ok awesome sauce

0, height: well my doctor SAID i was 5’1” but APPARENTLY SHE LIED AND IM JUST 5’0” (i am very upset)

1, age: 14-17 range

2, shoe size: 7?? idk if that’s in men’s or women’s that’s just what my converse say

3, do you smoke: nah it’s icky

4, do you drink: i’ve had alcohol before but i wouldn’t say i drink y e t

5, do you take drugs: no.

6, age you get mistaken for: uhh idk usually people think im a freshman, so 13/14?

7, have tattoos: not yettt

8, want any tattoos: YES. i want tattoos so bad, i don’t know exactly what im going to get, but i have ideas

9, got any piercings: yeah i have my ears pierced :)

10, want any piercings: i want an upper lobe, and a helix, on both ears. probably not any facial piercings tho bcuz im scared lol

11, best friend: there’s a little list: my partner, some people i met on penstagram (aspen included ik he’s probably gonna read this) and especially someone on there mickmac , and my older sister !

12, relationship status: very much in a good relationship :)

13, biggest turn ons: um nothing i dont do that

14, biggest turn offs: for this one i’ll just say things like, not respecting boundaries or talking through things , those are important

15, favorite movie: Mulan !

16, i’ll love you if…: you let me ramble about my interests <3

17, someone you miss: i miss my partner a lot, and my online friends (even though i’ve never met them irl), and my granny <3

18, most traumatic experience: errr there’s a few of those, but i’ll go with one that’s still kind of a problem— my dad threw me against a wall when i was little

19, a fact about my personality: i don’t really know if i have my own lmao

20, what i hate most about myself: oh there’s quite a few things, but i’ll just name a few—my chest, my arms, my teeth and my stutter

21, what i love about myself: i actually really like my eyes, i have naturally long and curly eyelashes and i feel like they’re really pretty :) , i also like my hair most of the time, and the fact i can cook well

22, what i want to be when im older: idk really, currently im leaning most toward being a photographer

23, my relationship with my siblings: best with my older sister, she’s one of my best friends. my younger siblings don’t like me, but someone’s we get along okay

24, my relationship with my parents: uhh not very good

25, my idea of a perfect date: having fun doing something we both like, laughing with each other and then relaxing at home after (not very specific but i’m thinking of one specific date ice been on that was perfect to me)

26, my biggest pet peeves: talking in a baby voice, chewing with mouth open, not tucking in chairs

27, a description of the person i like: soft black hair, really pretty brown eyes and they wear glasses, a little taller than me, literally the cutest smile i’ve ever seen, they’re beautiful ❤️

28, a description of the person i dislike the most: kind of long bleach blonde hair, kind of dark blue eyes? tall-ish, annoying ass laugh. that’s all i remember

29, a reason i’ve lied to a friend: i didn’t want them to know it wasn’t an accident.

30, what i hate the most about school: some of my teachers, the overwhelming work load, expectations

31, what my last text message says: “are you ready to h4ng mark tomorrow?? 🔥🔥” (mark is a glue stick btw)

32, what words upset me the most: useless , uhh mistake and slurs idk

33, what words make me feel the best about myself: being called pretty or handsome is always good 👍 but also things like, important, silly, the specific phrase “is that your son?” (every time i hear that i am very happy it’s awesome and it pisses off my dad so it’s perfect)

34, what i find attractive about women: so much, i love women i think they’re awesome . probably like confidence is a big one, and great style, other than that literally everything about them is <3

35, what i find attractive in men: well i haven’t actually liked a man in real life in years, but based on fictional men i like i think uhh fluffy hair and lowkey looking pathetic

36, where i would like to live: west coast probably, near my extended family and hopefully one day ill be living with my partner <3

37, one of my insecurities: my voice AGHHHH

38, my childhood career choice: i wanted to be different things throught my childhood, including a teacher, an author and briefly a fashion designer

39, my favorite ice cream flavor: either just chocolate or chocolate chip cookie dough

40, who i wish i could be: idk honestly

41, where i want to be right now: with my partner

42, the last thing i ate: some ramen

43: my partner? but not uhh that word idk it’s uncomfy

44, a random fact about anything: ducklings will resort to cannibalism when bored :)

[https-furina]

sugar ‘n’ spice — 100 follower celebration event!

this event is closed!

wowee, we hit 100 followers in such a quick span of time i’m sobbing - i didn’t think i’d get 50 and i got double?? as a thank you, i’m just going to be hosting a small prompt event. i appreciate you all so much and i hope you continue to like and support my work going forward in the future !! <3

biggest thanks to mika bc she’s the reason i ended up getting these last few followers mwah many kisses for you and your kaeya cult ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

rules of sugar ‘n’ spice:

— these will be small headcanon/drabble type scenarios. chances are i will not be going over a thousand words unless i get carried away on plot! i’ll just be doing the normal genshin universe and not alternate universes for this! — i will be attempting gn!reader for the entire event. — i will only be accepting fluff situations for all of the prompts as i typically don’t write smut outside of the event (and none of them are angst.) — one genshin character per prompt! no minors - if you need assistance with characters i write for, you can find them all in my masterlist under their respective countries (i am doing both the men and women.)

to participate, simply choose a prompt number from the list below (utc) and send in an ask specifying the character + prompt number!

event prompts:

1. “nobody in the world has hands this soft.” 2. “you look like you need a hug.” 3. “well, if i tell you, then it wouldn’t be a secret.” 4. “it was just a nightmare, it’s okay.” 5. “wash your hands, then hug me.” 6. “can we share the blanket?” 7. “you’re adorable when you’re mad.” 8. “are you sure you’re not cold?” 9. “i want to spend all my time with you.” 10. “ready for our dance?” 11. “you mean more than anything.” 12. “you’re cute even when you make that face.” 13. “keep it.” 14. “your eyes are beautiful.” 15. “look at the moon.” 16. “is that my shirt?” 17. “i don’t wanna go without you.” 18. “move over.” 19. “when i’m with you, nothing else matters.” 20. “i planned the perfect date.” 21. “is this romantic enough for you?” 22. “stop making me laugh!” 23. “my hands are cold” “is that a pickup line?” 24. “i can’t be mad at you.” 25. “come on, you’re in love with them.” 26. “i love you, but you need to shut up.” 27. “i love your smile.” 28. “gimme your hand.” 29. “you smell fantastic.” 30. “thanks for marrying me.” 31. “i made dinner. surprise!” 32. “don’t touch me while i’m trying to fall asleep.” 33. “i can’t believe you did this for me.” 34. “i have never loved you as much as i do right now.” 35. “i wouldn’t wanna fight you. you’re pretty feisty.” 36. “you’re in denial” “i am not in denial.” 37. “why are you smiling at me like that?” 38. “they’re coming. kiss me!” 39. “i’m flattered you’re jealous.” 40. “i want a baby.” 41. “cheers to you and me.” 42. “would you warm me up?” 43. “that was the worst joke i’ve ever heard.” 44. “all i want is you.” 45. “if i kiss you right now, i won’t be able to stop.”

© https-heizou 2023.

[bloodied-dagger]

1-70 then

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Yeah, sure. Although my dad’s a transphobe and they’re both Trump supporters who eat whatever fox n Facebook (respectively) serve them so. I’d say it’s more mediocre

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? no idea

03: Do you regret anything? yeah a shit ton of… well, shit

04: Are you insecure? Yes, definitely

05: What is your relationship status? single taken, surprisingly

06: How do you want to die? painlessly

07: What did you last eat? String cheese

08: Played any sports? marching band currently (it’s a sport imo) and I used to play baseball and soccer as a tiny child

09: Do you bite your nails? yea

10: When was your last physical fight? never got in one

11: Do you like someone? yea

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? don’t think so

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? hate’s a bit of a strong word, isn’t it?

14: Do you miss someone? used to definitely still do

15: Have any pets? my dog, who Tommy says “looks like she skipped leg day and is depressed about it”

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? Not Good™ Alright, although these old responses are kinda bumming me out. I suppose that life, rat

17: Ever made out in the bathroom? wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy

18: Are you scared of spiders? not really, but I’m not the most fond of them

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? yes. All the yes. So much yes

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? once again, wouldn’t you like to know?

21: What are your plans for this weekend? rest, and probably feel bad that I’m not cleaning play dnd with some friends. If anything major happens btw, that’s why.

22: Do you want to have kids? How many? No, fuck that

23: Do you have piercings? How many? none

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? Uh, band technically. Got a 115% in it

25: Do you miss anyone from your past? from like, a long time ago? Not really. Within the past year tho? Yea

26: What are you craving right now? Whole lotta nothing

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? Yes technically I think

28: Have you ever been cheated on? nope

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? N/A nope

30: What’s irritating you right now? nothing and I hope to keep it that way the original formatting of these 70 questions (why is it so small?)

31: Does somebody love you? I certainly hope so

32: What is your favourite color? Blue

33: Do you have trust issues? uhhhhhhhh maybe

34: Who/what was your last dream about? Great question

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? uhhhhhhhh probably my parents when I was like 9 or something

36: Do you give out second chances too easily? maybe?

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? forget

38: Is this year the best year of your life? no clue

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 16

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? yeah actually

51: Favourite food? Wings

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? Not really

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? your mom

54: Is cheating ever okay? if they cheated first then I see not problem with cheating back. But honestly I would just end the relationship, revenge is unnecessary

55: Are you mean? yes, I think

56: How many people have you fist fought? none

57: Do you believe in true love? like, pre destined? Nah

58: Favourite weather? rain and thunder

59: Do you like the snow? not really

60: Do you wanna get married? not sure really

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? My brain would malfunction /pos I think if my girlfriend called me that. But to be completely honest I don’t know if I’d actually enjoy being called that on a regular basis

62: What makes you happy? That’s a long and short list I don’t feel like typing

63: Would you change your name? Already have, but not legally

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? ohhhhhhh yeah

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? So funny thing about that… yeah turns out she did like me. I liked her so uh yeah now we’re dating

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? yup

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? My teacher

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? dunno. Probably Kyndyr

69: Do you believe in soulmates? nope

70: Is there anyone you would die for? plenty

[cowgurrrl]

this isn't a request or anything but I just wanted to say that: no matter how delusional I sound, rockstar!joel and actress!reader are real to me! 😭😭 listen, they're so SO entertaining and i just love them lots so THANK YOU for giving us content of them!! 💜💜 (also rockstar!joel is SOOOO attractive, both him and reader. power couple fr)

(i did have one quick question lol. ik it was mentioned somewhere before but what is the age difference between joel and reader, how old were they both when they met? ANDDDDD.....have they garnered any criticism from that despite being adults? lol)

THEY ARE REAL TO ME TOO SO THIS MAKES MY HEART SO HAPPY 🥹🥹🥹 this was really just such a silly idea at the beginning but it’s very quickly become one of my faves so thank you for loving it as much as I do and TELLING me how much you love it!! They’re truly such a comfort to write and to see people find that same comfort in them is such a privilege I just ugh 😭😭

But to answer your question about the age gap, there is a blink and you miss it discussion of it in I’m Still Standing where Carolina asks how old reader was when she met Joel and she says (and I made this vague for readers to input their own birthdays) “I was… Gosh, I think I was twenty-eight or twenty-nine. Somewhere around there. We met when Ryan and I were filming Hyde… Joel was either thirty-nine or forty when we met. Or, maybe he was forty because we met in the fall, and his birthday is in September.”

I kinda played around with the time frame and I don’t really have a set year in which this all takes place so it’s not a perfect timeline to present day/canon age but it’s fiction for a reason lol!! The timeline in my head is they meet when she’s like ~28/29 and he’s ~39/40 and they’re together for about nineish months (bringing us to spring/summer of the next year when reader would be ~28/29/30 (depending on your birthday) and Joel would be ~39/40) when she goes to Ireland for fifteen months so that would make it like late summer/early fall of the second year when they get back together (r: ~30/31, j: ~41-42) They’re together for like two more years (r: ~32/33, j: ~43/44) before getting engaged and have a year long engagement before getting married (r: ~33/34,j: ~44/45) and then have their first child Sammy two years later on May 15th (either right before or right after Ellie’s birthday and two months before Sarah’s) making reader ~35/36 and Joel ~46/47 when Ellie and Sarah are 20 and 24, respectively. By the time their family is complete with the arrival of the twins four years later reader is ~39/40, Joel is ~50/51, Ellie is ~24, and Sarah is ~28 and Sarah’s first child, Isaac, is ~2!

That’s a lot of math and numbers I just threw at you but the general idea is that they’re 11-12 years apart. I see them maybe getting some criticism from fans but I don’t think it’d be anything as intense as these other celebrity couples with 20-40 year age gaps between them and their partners!! I hope that answered your question and gave you a general timeline of the relationship even though I don’t think that’s what you asked for lol!!

[ink-flavored]

30-40 for the friends ask?

thank u!! i have been thinking about Yvonne today, so I will do these for her!

30. Do they serve a “family friend” role for any of their friends’ families?

When she was in her herd, everyone was a family friend? Everyone was simultaneously family and friend, because the community was so close-knit. Since she moved to the city, she doesn't know anyone's entire family well enough to earn that title.

31. Are they close with any of their friends’ parents/siblings?

Not particularly, although she has wanted to be, because it feels weird for her not to know all her friends' entire families. She's nervous to ask, because it doesn't seem like... city people are like that?

32. Which friend would they go to with their darkest secret? None at all?

Probably nobody. Even in the close-knit environment of her herd, privacy was respected about things, so she learned very quickly that she didn't have to share anything with someone if she didn't want to. She's more likely to journal it out.

33. Are they good at keeping their friends’ secrets?

Absolutely. If you tell Yvonne a secret, expect her to take it to the grave.

34. Have they ever been betrayed by a friend? What happened?

When Yvonne first moved to the city, she was incredibly unaware of most things and needed a lot of help. Because of her position and sheltered upbringing, she kind of just believed whatever the first nice person told her, unquestioningly, because why would you lie to a stranger for no reason? A herd would fall apart if people were that cruel, so surely the city works the same way.

Not so! She isn't friends with this person anymore, but one of the first "nice" people she met siphoned her money (which she didn't have a lot of) under the pretense of helping her "settle in." It was a huge setback and woke her up to how different her life was going to be.

35. Have they ever betrayed one of their friends? Why?

No, she's too good for this world. Too pure.

36. Are they good at communicating with their friends?

Sssssort of? She's kind of an emotional open book, she's not good at hiding her feelings. It's easy enough to see when something's bothering her and ask about it yourself, and if you do that, she'll be honest with you. But overall she's too anxious to bring up most problems on her on, unless she trusts you on the level of a herdmate. And even then, she'll come to you like "um okay so maybe this is weird/wrong/overblown, but...."

37. What’s the biggest favor they’ve ever done for a friend?

Back in her herd, Yvonne was one of the designated foal-sitters during the spring and summer when couples abscond to...ehm.....have some private time alone. They were always grateful.

38. What’s the biggest favor they’ve asked of a friend?

Yvonne asked her closest herdmates to help her pack up to leave. It's a big deal for any centaur to leave their herd, whether it's to start their own or for greener pastures, and often the one who's leave will ask some of their herdmates/the herd leader for a token to remember them by. Most centaurs offer something handmade or equally personal.

39. If they’re in a relationship, are they friends with their partner’s friends too?

Since meeting Harlan, she's wanted to meet his friends, because it's just impolite not to, right? But she's so nervous she hasn't been able to bring herself to any of the things he's invited her to to meet them (usually because they are loud college parties). She's determined! To figure it out though!!!!

40. Do they feel obligated to be friends with their friends’ partners?

So, when she was in her herd, everyone knew everyone. Everyone was a combination of friend and family, in the sense that you cared about everyone there even if you didn't personally like them or get along, but not everyone was blood related. Yvonne was always friends with her friends' partners, kind of by necessity. Once moving to the city, she is torn by her cultural expectation to do that and her anxiety about being around new people and especially crowds. It doesn't help that Harlan almost exclusively hangs out in large crowds when they aren't hanging out one on one.

[try out my 100 question platonic dynamics ask game]

[saintsenara]

We share so many terrible faves! I've selected five per pairing:

Sirius/Severus: 

6. How do they make up/apologize after an argument?

14. Do they enjoy PDA, or are they more private with affection?

24. How do their personalities affect their relationship? Do their characteristics compliment each other, or clash often?

38. Who’s got a quicker temper?

32. Do either of them drink? If so, who’s the lightweight, and how does their partner care for them?

41. What would they do if they lost the other?

Severus/Voldemort: 

5. Do they argue often? If so, what do they argue about?

8. What do they love most about the other? Why?

17. How well do they communicate? Are they open with their feelings/thoughts or more reserved? Why?

33. How do they flirt? Who’s the worse flirt?

18. How do they care for each other when one of them is wounded/sick?

Bella/Voldemort: 

4. Who initiates affection? Why does the other not initiate affection as much?

9. What do they dislike most about the other? Why?

19. Do they wear each other’s clothes/jewelry?

48. Do they talk about their future together? Why or why not?

34. Do they have any inside jokes?

Tom/Harry: 

12. Do they have a difficult time when separated from each other, or are they fairly independent?

20. How do they comfort each other when one of them is upset? Is this method of comfort effective?

22. Are they comfortable joking around with each other and being silly/playful?

30. What are their respective love languages? Do their love languages work well together?

37. Who’s more emotionally sensitive/cries more often?

Tom/Dumbledore: 

10. Do they share any hobbies or interests? How do these things bring them together?

35. Is their relationship a secret? If so, why?

49. Do they keep secrets from each other?

27. How do they say “I love you” non-verbally?

44. Do they cuddle often? Why or why not?

thank you for the ask, anon! it's so nice to meet someone else cultured...

this ended up being enormous, so i've put the answers under the cut [thank you for giving me a very fun way to spend my breaks at work writing this out]. read on for snack, snapemort, bellamort, tomarry, and riddledore nonsense.

[ship game here.]

sirius black/severus snape

6. how do they make up/apologise after an argument?

by fucking.

to the extent that the first time they sleep together without arguing beforehand frightens them both so much - because, oops, you actually like each other boys, it’s not just hate-sex, sorry about that - that they have an argument afterwards instead.

14. do they enjoy pda or are they more private with affection?

when they’re pretending to have no interest whatsoever in each other, they avoid anything which could even remotely be interpreted as pda. it’s this - the fact that they immediately stop getting in each other’s space, and coming up with witty insults, and jabbing their wands in each other’s faces [behave] - that means everyone else knows they’re sleeping together. lupin tells sirius this and enjoys watching his old friend almost faint.    

once they’re forced to accept - very much against their wills - that they’re in a real relationship, and that people know about it and the world hasn’t ended, i think sirius is very keen on pda, entirely because he thinks it annoys snape. 

he’s wrong. but snape isn’t going to admit that. 

24. how do their personalities affect their relationship? do their characteristics compliment each other, or clash often?

the reason why snack is such an intriguing ship is because they’re narrative mirrors - and, particularly, because they’re both men whose relationship with the world around them is driven by a desire for forgiveness which they are never able to offer themselves.

that shared underlying faithfulness, steadfastness, capacity to endure, and the shared understanding of grief - and not only grief, but grief you brought directly upon yourself - and unrequited love [the implication of canon is absolutely that sirius’ love for james was not simply platonic, and i’ll die on that hill] forms the bones of their relationship, and is the thing which helps them survive the fact that the more surface-level aspects of their personalities - sirius’ recklessness, snape’s massive victim complex, sirius’ fits of melancholy, snape’s intolerance for those who find life hard or unfair, the fact that they’re both capable of being incredibly cruel - clash constantly. 

32. do either of them drink? if so, who’s the lightweight, and how does their partner care for them?

in the canon timeline, they both survive the misery of the second war by using alcohol as a crutch [although snape is less destructive, since he needs to remain sober enough to deal with voldemort]. should one overindulge, the other just leaves him in misery, believing it to serve him right.

after the war, however, i think both of them eventually come to the realisation that part of their long-overdue healing processes involves going tee-total. snape gets very into brewing interesting cordials. sirius becomes an expensive loose-leaf tea snob.

38. who’s got a quicker temper?

their argument over this destroyed the kitchen at grimmauld place. 

41. what would they do if they lost the other?

continue on in silent grief, as they were already doing with the memories of lily and james. 

severus snape/lord voldemort

5. do they argue often? if so, what do they argue about?

so, obviously, in most cases, attempting to argue with lord voldemort will be the last thing you ever do, but there must be an established frankness to the way that snape speaks to him which meant he could get through his "here’s why i was hours late to your resurrection" explanation without being murdered. voldemort appears to dislike sycophancy [or, at least, to think that he does] and he abhors liars [snape: lmao], so i do think - controversially - that he would regard a bit of pushback from his favourite death eaters as evidence of him being correct to rank them so highly. 

as for what they argue about? well, snape was pissed that he had to host pettigrew in his home. voldemort was paying for that for months.

8. what do they love most about the other? why?

"love" might be pushing it, but…

snape’s reasons for joining the death eaters are varied and complex, across a whole spectrum from misguided to contemptible, but it’s very clear that none of them were ever the conviction that "the dark lord will put the purebloods in charge" that hooked in characters like regulus black or lucius malfoy.

what gets him, instead, is clearly a belief that voldemort can offer him a way to transcend a background which he hates and which - given the way we know the wizarding world works - will actively hinder him in his adult life. [as an aside, i think this is the reason for his view, which otherwise seems nonsensical, that lily is overreacting to his interest in the death eaters: he thinks that they could offer her opportunities otherwise restricted to her as a muggleborn.]

and, in this, i think he comes closer than many other death eaters to understanding how voldemort actually thinks, and this is the reason for voldemort’s obvious - and unusual - affection for him. voldemort clearly has a great desire to be perceived, and the sense that snape is someone like him, someone who understands him, someone he has given the opportunities denied to him and essentially made in his own image, is meaningful to him.

similarly, snape feels seen by voldemort - and, in particular, seen for the intellectual creativity of which he is so proud. voldemort describes himself in goblet of fire as a keen inventor of spells and potions, as well as someone with an insatiable academic curiosity and extremely flexible morals on how that curiosity is sated. even once he switches sides - since dumbledore is, sensibly, wary of his undiminished interest in the dark arts - i can see voldemort remaining the only person snape feels truly understands just how much his intelligence and creativity matters to him. 

17. how well do they communicate? are they open with their feelings/thoughts or more reserved? why?

on the one hand, given that - canonically - snape spends the majority of their acquaintance lying to voldemort and voldemort kills him and only half says sorry for it, obviously they don’t communicate well at all.

but, on the other, there must - as i’ve said - be a frankness to their communication style. a common gripe i have with fanon!snape is that his skill as an occlumens is portrayed as the result of granite emotional repression - occlumency, instead, requires manipulating your emotional responses to questioning in a way which enables you to lie fluently, and snape’s skill in the medium comes from the fact that his authentic self is incredibly petty. 

indeed, he displays this in front of voldemort - his interaction with yaxley in the dark lord ascending is uncomplicatedly spiteful, and voldemort doesn’t seem surprised by it; the way he speaks to wormtail in spinner’s end suggests that voldemort has given his tacit approval for snape to humiliate pettigrew; the fact that he tells bellatrix to report what he says in the same scene to others suggests that voldemort would not be angry to hear him insult his erstwhile favourite.

similarly, snape’s emotional volatility must have been displayed to voldemort at other points - he is implied to have begged desperately for lily’s survival, for example, and it’s clear that a great deal of voldemort’s opinion on harry [especially the fact that he mentions more than once in the later books that harry has been pampered and protected] must come from snape’s unhinged dislike of him. 

so, while snape’s communication style with voldemort is dishonest, i don’t think it can be described as inauthentic. in fact, voldemort is, like dumbledore, probably one of the only people who sees the full emotional range of snape.

[voldemort, of course, communicates only in half-truths - i think he’s probably more open with snape than with most other people, but that’s not saying a lot.]  

18. how do they care for each other when one of them is wounded/sick?

when snape is sick or wounded, lord voldemort convinces himself that the only reason he is brewing healing potions, and watching carefully for how they interact with orange juice and chicken soup, is because he has a readily available test subject in the vicinity. 

being immortal means you never get sick, and no amount of "you have a fever, my lord, and you should rest" will convince him otherwise. snape, since he’s fond of his limbs, doesn’t force the issue.

33. how do they flirt? who’s the worse flirt?

by arguing about potions theory. voldemort once described himself as "quite impressed" by one of snape’s modifications to a common poison. snape considers it the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to him. 

if by "worse" we mean most incorrigible, it’s voldemort - although that’s only if you consider being threatened to be flirting. snape, with his latent humiliation kink, does. 

if by "worse" we mean least sophisticated, it’s also voldemort. a menacing aura is not the same as having game. 

bellatrix lestrange/lord voldemort

4. who initiates affection? why does the other not initiate affection as much?

she’s more casually tactile, which drives him round the bend, because someone constantly trying to stroke your arm at death eater meetings doesn’t do great things for your "evil and unapproachable" vibe. the absence of passing affection - hand-holding, cuddles etc. - upsets bellatrix [who, whatever else was wrong with her childhood, did grow up with that sort of openness with her sisters], although she is careful never to mention this to him. 

but, this being said, voldemort is clearly a man who is, deep down, desperate for affection, and i think on occasion the dam must burst - only ever behind closed doors, only ever when there is plausible deniability [he was drinking, she had done something she was being particularly rewarded for etc.] of his feelings for her - and he must reveal himself as deeply, and probably oddly tenderly, passionate.      

9. what do they dislike most about the other? why?

i’ve answered this here. 

19. do they wear each other’s clothes/jewellery?

bellatrix thinks his dress sense is too ascetic, voldemort thinks hers is too ostentatious. neither would be seen dead in the other’s clothes.

she will never understand the significance of him lending her a large gold locket - which, if she’s honest, she thought was quite ugly - to wear to a new year’s eve party in 1978.

34. do they have any inside jokes?

bellatrix does a fantastic impression of fudge seeing them in the ministry atrium. 

48. do they talk about their future together? why or why not?

she does, he only half pays attention, convinced that she is in such awe of him that she would never make a decision that impacted them both without his express permission. this comes back to bite him, when he discovers he was thinking about a rare curse he wanted to try on some muggle prisoners while bellatrix was talking about how her youthful desire to never have children had been changed by her experience in azkaban. 

in a voldemort wins au - with or without delphini in it [i’m quite fond of her as a concept, but perhaps that’s because i’ve neither seen nor read the cursed child] - i think that bellatrix does snap and demands that he acknowledges their relationship in some way, since his go-to excuse of "nothing is certain in war" no longer applies. rodolphus is shuffled off to become the ambassador to some faraway place and bellatrix gets to hear overcautious ministry underlings refer to her as "my lady" at state events.

he's never a good father, though. i just can’t see it.   

harry potter/tom riddle

12. do they have a difficult time when separated from each other, or are they fairly independent?

both harry and voldemort are very self-sufficient, so i don’t think they would be the sort of people who went mad with pining if they were apart from each other for a while. voldemort’s enormous ego means he can’t see a reason to be the jealous type [canonically, rodolphus would be dead if he were, i'm sure], while harry’s commitment to just suffering through stuff means he endures separations without temptation. their shared mental connection - exploited by hundreds of authors for porn reasons - helps there too. 

however, one of the issues with your boyfriend being a terrorist [even if, occasionally, he’s reformed] is that it’s very difficult to leave him alone without worrying what he might get up to. harry prefers it if they’re joined at the hip, just for his own peace of mind. 

20. how do they comfort each other when one of them is upset? is this method of comfort effective?

voldemort awkwardly pats harry’s head and tells him to get over it. harry says something which voldemort decides to take as colossally insensitive. in the ensuing argument, they forget what they were upset about. 

22. are they comfortable joking around with each other and being silly/playful?

yes. harry spends canon roasting the death eaters, why not scale his operations up to the big boss? he regards pointing out that he won literally all of their encounters/that voldemort didn’t realise he was a horcrux/that he stabbed the diary/that his body isn’t ⅓ wormtail/that he knows more than one offensive spell/that he has a nose as foreplay.

30. what are their respective love languages? do their love languages work well together?

tom "magpie" riddle’s love language is gift-giving. harry, who is shown in canon to understand the childhood trauma behind voldemort’s hoarding, takes the theory that this is something he would like seriously but is not a great gift-giver in practice. he makes hermione give him lots of suggestions, and sees it as a net positive that this forces voldemort to be nice to her.

harry’s love language is acts of service. voldemort’s belief that he alone knows how to do everything properly and so harry shouldn’t be forced to do anything without his help, fulfils this surprisingly effectively.   

37. who’s more emotionally sensitive/cries more often?

harry is probably the more emotionally sensitive one - which is a damning indictment on how emotionally damaged voldemort is - and the one who, as he comes to terms with the griefs of his childhood, is least afraid to show his feelings.

however, harry is very good at compartmentalising his feelings and, outside of order of the phoenix, has a remarkable capacity to just let things go. voldemort, in contrast, is canonically someone who has a very mercurial temper - he feels things much more suddenly and deeply than harry, and holds grudges so profoundly that he tanks generations of students’ education to indulge them. part of their relationship is him learning that, sometimes, harry’s willingness to not fester in emotion is good, and harry learning that screaming at people is, on occasion, very cathartic.  

albus dumbledore/lord voldemort

10. do they share any hobbies or interests? how do these things bring them together?

although by the later books the idea that voldemort has an interest in anything other than dark magic [or, if you go by the films, an interest in anything other than shrieking] has gone out the window, it’s clear that he and dumbledore are the characters in the series who can best be described as polymaths, and that voldemort is one of the few people alive who is dumbledore’s intellectual equal [and, maybe, in some areas, superior]. i like the idea of them competing to out-do each other with huge displays of set-piece magic [dumbledore is unimpressed by the horcrux cave, voldemort takes that personally] and bickering constantly about new techniques or theories which would enable that, both enjoying - but never admitting to enjoying - the fact that the other actually understands what they’re talking about. 

i also like the idea of dumbledore finally getting his grand tour, somewhere on the albanian riviera.

27. how do they say “i love you” non-verbally?

by not murdering each other. and by voldemort keeping quiet about the mistake he found in the formula for the eleventh use of dragon's blood.  

35. is their relationship a secret? if so, why?

my preferred riddledore dynamic is either student/teacher [don’t judge me] or both of them growing so tired of their spies’ incompetence during wartime that they just start communicating directly with each other. so yes.

but even in a hypothetical happy-ever-after, i still think the relationship would be kept secret - not at voldemort’s request, but at dumbledore’s. dumbledore’s relationship to his own sexuality is defined by denial - while i don’t think at all that he's ashamed to be gay [or bi, or pan, or however else you think he might identify], i think he does view desire itself in a negative sense, since it was allowing himself to give in wholeheartedly to desire in his relationship with grindelwald that led, as he sees it, to ariana’s death. we can get hints of how this might work in the specific context of his relationship with voldemort in canon - dumbledore views love as sacrificial and noble, rather than pleasurable; he has a low tolerance for hedonism or indulgence; he is, in his manner of relating to others, distant and ascetic. while voldemort is similarly self-controlled, his obvious need for comfort, recognition, and affection is something i think dumbledore would find it very difficult to provide openly, and i think - in a situation where the whole thing didn’t crash and burn - they would live entirely separate lives, punctuated periodically by some very creative sex.

44. do they cuddle often? why or why not?

no, of course they don’t. that would be emotionally healthy and healing for two such touch-starved people. they have to refuse on principle. 

49. do they keep secrets from each other?

they don’t do anything but, at first. in particular, dumbledore goes out of his way to keep his relationship with grindelwald secret, until rita skeeter decides to break the story one afternoon because she’s just feeling silly that way. the ensuing argument - "how dare you judge me for murdering my father when you killed your own sister!"/ "it was an accident!"/"so was the basilisk!" and so on - is legendary and destroys half of godric’s hollow.

but it brings about a reckoning too. it’s clear in canon that one of the things voldemort particularly dislikes about dumbledore is his belief that dumbledore is a hypocrite - "you do not seek to kill me, dumbledore? above such brutality, are you?" from the ministry duel always stands out to me, given that voldemort knows dumbledore has sent half the order to risk death without a second thought, as does the fact that the death eaters tell harry that voldemort was genuinely shocked to discover dumbledore hadn’t told him about the prophecy. the cause of dumbledore’s complicated relationship with honesty - profound childhood/teenage trauma - is something voldemort can understand, and it gives them something to relate to each other with which helps there be a little, teeny-tiny bit less lying in the relationship from that point.