#they’re both so wizard coded

[fantasticgothicpeachsludge]

[dragonfly0808]

How the Squad Found Out About that One Time Riven and Flora Kissed

First part of the chapter takes place during s4, second part is back in s2 ch28, right after the end of the chapter.

I’d originally planned to have Flo and Riv kiss in that chapter but decided against it last minute cause I just wasn’t sure how to make it clear that, while there could’ve been something there, and they both feel that, there are no actual romantic feelings between the two.

The possibility of them? Yes. the reality of them? No.

I feel like Riven and Flora have the most distinct platonic soulmate relationship, mainly because they’re the main ones I really could see falling for each other if things had been different and if they hadn’t meet Musa and Helia and I wanted to get that across in a poetic way but not a tragic way ya know? They didn’t lose anything for not falling for each other in this universe and they are still a huge part of each other’s lives if that makes sense?

Whatever, I’ll stop rambling, hope u enjoy this little drabble! I will be posting it on AO3 probably later on

***

It’d been a slow week, no activity from the Wizards and Roxy’s classes progressing nicely.

The squad had decided to have a quiet game night, with some alcohol coming into the mixture at some point.

At the moment, they were playing Truth or Dare.

In all honesty, there was very little they didn’t know about each other, but even after so long, there were still a few things that could surprise them from time to time.

Stella considered her turn, the bottle on the ground dictating that she’d gotten Riven.

The coward had chosen truth.

There were few things she could ask him that could result in anything majorly interesting.

Unless… Stella glanced towards Flora, who was leaning against Helia, his arm wrapped around her shoulders.

Anyone who had eyes could tell Flora and Riven had adored each other since their first year. That was obvious. At this point it was also obvious that, while they didn’t see each other as siblings, they didn’t see each other in any kind of romantic light either.

…but she would be lying if she said that she wasn’t curious about whether or not they ever had, even for a fleeting moment. Especially since she did remember one particular evening during their second year in which they’d both seemed… almost bashful with each other.

Should she?

Stella slowly leaned back against Brandon’s chest, meeting Riven’s challenging look, “Okay, I know what I want to ask.”

Riven spread his hands, “Go on then buttercup.”

“Have you ever… kissed someone in this room-” she ignored the snorts, continuing, “who wasn’t Musa?”

Riven froze for a split second, clearly flabbergasted before casting a single quick glance towards Flora, who had sunk into Helia’s arms, covering her face as she flushed.

“Listen-”

“I FUCKING KNEW IT!” Stella shouted, slamming a hand against the ground.

Musa broke down into giggles as she turned to Riven, “What?”

“No- it- it was before we were dating obviously. It was dumb we just…”

“We were fucking up a lot with you two so we got a little drunk and we kissed to seal our depressing marriage pact.” Flora explained.

Helia chuckled under his breath before turning to Riven with mock anger, “You got a marriage pact with my girl? What happened to the bro code?”

“We were drunk, depressed and hating on love. She was obsessed with you, I was obsessed with Musa but we were fully convinced we’d just fucked everything up for good- cut us some slack man!”

They all burst out laughing, clinging to each other as they Flora somehow sunk further into the floor and Riven hid his face in Musa’s neck.

***

Flora was thinking, unable to focus on the book in her hand. She could feel the alcohol at the base of her skull, a dull thump, barely there but just present enough to make her think.

She’d freaked out on Helia.

Riven loved her. He was her person.

Did that mean something? Or did she just want a connection that her baggage didn’t impede?

She turned to him, watching him as he tinkered on one of his projects, trying to think objectively.

He noticed after a moment, meeting her gaze, “Something wrong?”

“No, I was just… thinking.”

“About?”

He’d freaked out on Musa.

Flora loved him. She was his person.

But how did she love him? Was her mind playing tricks on her?

“Have you ever thought… that maybe… you and I should try?”

One of his eyebrows slowly rose up as he set down his tools and fully turned to face her, crossing his arms and leaning back, “I won’t lie… the thought did cross my mind once or twice… before I really started catching feelings for Musa. You?”

“Same. Before I fell for Helia… I don’t know, maybe I thought about it in passing.” But she would’ve never acted on it even back then because she knew Musa had a crush.

“It’s weird isn’t it… if not just sad. That we’ve had so little love in our lives that now we’re doubting what we have.” Riven muttered under his breath, letting his head fall back as he sighed.

“Yeah… should we… do something about it?”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know.”

Riven raised his head, inspecting her before going to join her on the small couch, sitting besides her.

“Should we kiss?” He asked, it sounded like he was asking himself just as much as he was asking her.

Flora considered, “I mean… could be like… sealing the marriage pact?” She took a deep breath, shaking off her nerves, this was her person, worst case scenario, it might be a bit gross, “Okay. I’m in if you’re in.”

Riven nodded along, “Okay.”

He leaned down to meet her halfway. It was a hesitant, yet gentle kiss, soft and slow as they both tried to figure out how they felt about it.

Seconds passed and they pulled apart, both leaning against the couch, staring at the wall before them.

“I mean… it didn’t feel… wrong.” She started hesitantly.

“But it didn’t feel right either.”

“Exactly.”

They glanced at each other before laughing light-heartily. Blushing out of embarrassment and awkwardness.

“If things were different… maybe then.” He said after a long minute.

She shrugged, bumping her shoulder against his, “Maybe in another life.”

He snorted, “Yeah, maybe in another life.”

[writingwithcolor]

Depicting Real World Religions Alongside Constructed Religions

Maya asked:

Hi WWC! Thank you so much for this blog, it's an infinitely wonderful resource! Do you have any suggestions for how I can balance representation of real religions with fantasy religions, or should I avoid including these together? Does the fact that certain things bleed over from our world into the fantasy world help legitimize the appearance of real world religions? I feel like I can come up with respectful ways to integrate representation in ways that make sense for the worldbuilding. For instance, no Muslim characters would practice magic, and both Jewish and Muslim characters would conceive of magic in ways that fit their religion (rather than trying to adapt real religions to fit my worldbuilding). I also have some ideas for how these religions came about that fit between handwave and analogous history (though I realize the Qur'an is unchangeable, so I'm guessing Islam would have come about in the same way as IRL). BTW—I'm referring to humans, not other species coded as Muslim or Jewish. I may explore the concept of jinns more (particularly as how Muslims perceive fantastical beings), but I definitely need to do a lot more research before I go down that road! Finally, I saw a post somewhere (*but* it might have been someone else's commentary) suggesting to integrate certain aspects of Judaism (e.g., skullcaps in sacred places/while praying, counting days from sundown instead of sunset) into fantasy religions (monotheistic ones, of course) to normalize these customs, but as a non-Jewish person I feel this could easily  veer into appropriation-territory.  *One of the posts that I'm referring to in case you need a better reference of *my* reference: defining coding and islam-coded-fantasy

[This long ask was redacted to pull out the core questions asked]

"Both Jewish and Muslim characters would conceive of magic in ways that fit their religion (rather than trying to adapt real religions to fit my worldbuilding)."

Just a note that while having religion be part of magic is a legitimate way to write fantasy, I want to remind people that religious characters can also perform secular magic. Sometimes I feel like people forget about that particular worldbuilding option. (I feel this one personally because in my own books I chose to make magic secular so that my nonmagical heroine wouldn’t seem less close to God somehow than her wizard adoptive dad, who is an objectively shadier person.) I’m not saying either way is more or less correct or appropriate, just that they’re both options and I think sometimes people forget about the one I chose. But anyway moving on—

Your decision to make the water spirits not actual deities is a respectful decision given the various IRL monotheistic religions in your story, so, thank you for that choice. I can see why it gets messy though, since some people in-universe treat those powers as divine. I guess as long as your fantasy Jews aren’t being depicted as backwards and wrong and ignoring in-universe reality in favor of in-universe incorrect beliefs, then you’re fine…

"I saw a post somewhere (but it might have been someone else's commentary) suggesting to integrate certain aspects of Judaism (e.g., skullcaps in sacred places/while praying, counting days from sundown instead of sunset) into fantasy religions (monotheistic ones, of course) to normalize these customs, but as a non-Jewish person I feel this could easily veer into appropriation-territory."

That was probably us, as Meir and I both feel that way. What would make it appropriative is if these very Jewish IRL markers were used to represent something other than Judaism. It's not appropriative to show Jewish or Jewish-coded characters wearing yarmulkes or marking one day a week for a special evening with two candles or anything else we do if it's connected to Jewishness! To disconnect the markers of us from us is where appropriation starts to seep in.

–Shira

To bounce off what Shira said above, the source of the magic can be religious or secular--or put another way, it can be explicitly granted be a deity or through engagement with a specific religious practice, or it can be something that can be accessed with or without engaging with a certain set of beliefs or practices. It sounds like you’re proposing the second one: the magic is there for anyone to use, but the people in this specific religion engage with it through a framework of specific ideas and practices.

If you can transform into a “spirit” by engaging with this religion, and I can transform into a “spirit” through an analogous practice through the framework of Kabbalah, for example, and an atheist can transform through a course of secular technical study, then what makes yours a religion is the belief on your part that engaging in the process in your specific way, or choosing to engage in that process over other lifestyle choices, is in some way a spiritual good, not the mechanics of the transformation. If, on the other hand, humans can only access this transformative magic through the grace of the deities that religion worships, while practitioners of other religions lack the relationship with the only gods empowered to make that magic, that’s when I’d say you had crossed into doing more harm than good by seeking to include real-world religions.

Including a link below to a post you might have already seen that included the “religion in fantasy worldbuilding alignment chart.” It sounds like you’re in the center square, which is a fine place to be. The center top and bottom squares are where I typically have warned to leave real-world religions out of it.

More reading:

Jewish characters in a universe with author-created fictional pantheons

–Meir

[greenfiend]

Will Byers the Love Guru

In Stranger Things 3, he’s the one who’s “not gonna fall in love”, yet he’s out there fixing every one else’s relationship problems…

Lucas/Max

Jonathan/Nancy

Dustin/Suzie

Hopper/Joyce

and even…

Mike/Eleven…

So come along on this wild journey with me as I explain Will’s influence on those pairings…

Before I begin, I must remind you that everything is intentional within this show. If Will suddenly appears within a shot or someone says or does something that doesn’t seem relevant… it is still relevant but just not in the way you might initially think.

I’m going to start with the more simple “fixes” and end with the most complicated.

Lucas/Max

Their relationship in ST3 was fairly low key. Their “breakups” were not serious and were always temporary. Lucas does mess up at times though.

Oops! Code red! Code red! Lucas needs some help asap!

Well that was a close call! Thanks to Will of course, who magically appeared in this shot and clearly influenced Lucas.

Will understands the mysteries of the female species better than these guys clearly. Not sure what they’d do without him.

Jonathan/Nancy

Jonathan and Nancy had a major fight in ST3, and Will is having none of his big bro’s BS! He instantly calls him out for not being there for Nancy.

Will strikes again! Thank goodness for his influence. What a good little bro!

Dustin/Suzie

Okay, things are getting stranger now.

No one believes Dustin has a girlfriend… except for our dear lil Will! But I can’t really blame the others, she did seem unbelievable. I mean she did come from “Camp Know Where”. Sounds pretty made up to me.

Did Will conjure her up? Well… let’s just say it’s interesting that the first ever shot we see of her involves her holding up a book about a wizard… I’m not ruling this out as a possibility… 🧙🏻‍♂️

Hopper/Joyce

Oh Will… sweet sweet Will. He’s worried about his mother, and doesn’t want her to be alone anymore… so what does he do, you ask? Well…

He Marty Mcflys it! He influences Hopper by “flaying” him and pushes him together with his mom!

Things get a tad awkward though. But his intentions were pure!

Mike/Eleven

So… this one is the most complicated one because Will is very biased here obviously. He’s hopelessly in love with Mike. In the beginning, he had a hand in Mike and El’s breakup as he was pulling the strings behind Hopper’s intervention. Hopper “threatened” Mike due to Will’s influence. Now, don’t worry, Will didn’t actually threaten to kill Mike, Mike made that very clear.

Mike and Will have their epic rain fight and things are tense.

Until… Will has a change of heart.

Notice how Will is clearly in the shot here? Well it’s because he is wanting to give his “olive branch” to Mike. He’s tried of the tension between them and wants to make things right.

Look at the words here! These are not Mike’s words. They’re Will’s words to Mike!

Both of these moments are Will putting words into Mike’s mouth, just as he did to Lucas, Jonathan, and Hopper! But he’s not as successful.

The first moment was just bad timing as El was not even present. The second time, the connection was poor, that’s why Mike was literally drawing blanks and unable to complete his sentences. We know this because the walkie talkie call from Dustin provided the subtext for it.

Mike actually doesn’t even remember saying the words because Will said them for him…

In conclusion, Will is a great love guru, but still cannot fix Mike and El’s problems. Dunno if even the most powerful wizard could successfully fix their problems…

[carigm]

A BREAKDOWN OF THE POTENTIAL S5 EPISODE TITLES!!

Okay, so today entertainment journalist Jeff Sneider shared some alleged insider info about S5 of ST, mainly directors and titles of the first 6 episodes.

Here’s a screenshot

It’s important to keep in mind that this guy isn’t always the most reliable, and considering he also said he believes S5 could come out before the end of this year, let’s not take any of this too seriously. (Many cast members have mentioned they’re filming until December of this year so that’s literally impossible). The information about the possible directors I believe is correct, because it’s been circulating around from other sources too.

The episode titles I’m less convinced about because it’s also possible the Duffers could’ve put out fake episode titles in case they leaked. I remember for S2 all the episodes titles they announced were changed later on lol. But for the sake of fun, here’s an analysis of all of them:

1. The crawl (only confirmed title) is a very broad, open title. It personally makes me think of the UD and vines, or maybe even the idea of Vecna crawling back to life. Could also be an allusion to the military.

2. The Vanishing of ___ Wheeler is arguably the most insane one. The journalist said he wasn’t revealing the actual name of the person because it’s a spoiler ofc. My gut tells me it’s gonna be Holly, mainly because of the recast and her supposedly being involved in the hospital plot, which we have guessed takes place in episode 2. Could explain why she’s suddenly “more important” this season, especially if she’s used as a plot device of sorts. Could also tie into what Ted’s actor said in a podcast back in February about the first episodes being a rollercoaster of emotions, and that comment he made about Ted having a soft spot for Holly. It would be a perfect tie in for Karen to find out about the UD as well. The implications of naming the episode the same as the first episode, which is so intrinsically tied to Will, is very interesting. It’s also a new connection/tie between the Byers/Wheelers that I assume will bring the families closer together. I don’t think it’s about Mike because I doubt he’ll go missing in ep.2, or be dragged to the UD just like Will was. It would be an interesting concept but I doubt it. I also don’t think Nancy’s gonna go missing. Karen could be interesting but I doubt it as well. Ted would be an incredibly funny choice. Imagine he just goes missing while at the house 😭 Nonetheless, I think Holly is the clear choice here, and I do very much worry for her if she goes missing. Mainly because while Will survived this, I’m not sure they’ll do the same for Holly :(

It also ties into Vecna’s threat to Nancy against her and her family.

Here’s an interesting leak from the same anon that leaked the hospital stuff (which seems to be correct)

I think this could be the very same scene Holly goes missing.

3. Turbow Trap 😭 This one is utter nonsense. I have no idea what a Turbow is, so I assume it’s gonna be a code or nickname for something. Absolutely clueless here.

4. Sorcerer is incredibly interesting, and imo a clear allusion to Will. His D&D character being a cleric, basically a wizard. Could also be a reference to Vecna imo. Or both 😉

5. Shock Jock is clearly tied to the radio station plotline. Imo the title could be a reference to Steve, Jonathan, or even Murray (he fits that eccentric, somewhat annoying personality quite well) In case you guys don’t know a shock jock is like a very eccentric radio host.

6. Escape from Camazotz is another crazy title. He’s a figure from Mayan mythology who’s a bat spirit. That immediately makes me think of Eddie, but also Steve ofc. However, camazotz has a larger meaning that goes beyond “bat spirit”, it’s also a representation of death and night. So the title seems to be alluding to someone escaping from death or a perilous situation.

Even more interesting perhaps is that kamazotz is a name of a planet in A Wrinkle Time. It’s the planet where IT resides, the mind controlling antagonist of the narrative. So I guess in this comparison Kamazotz is the UD, and IT is Henry.

[dayas]

Prompt 13 "Kiss Me" - Fiyeraba, in a universe where he’s not with Glinda cause I don’t like cheating 😄🙈

Drabble Prompts

Fair enough Anon! I took the universe thing a bit too literally, though 😁 so without further ado, welcome to the spy au 🥰

—

“Agent Emerald, do you copy?”

Glinda’s voice buzzed in Elphaba’s ear, though there was no visible piece to be found. The wonders of modern technology.

“Yes, Agent Bubble. I copy.”

“Agent Scarecrow?” Glinda prompted next.

“Right here, Bubble,” came the voice of her current mission partner, Fiyero Tigelaar. He was renowned throughout their organization as the suavest spy they had, hence why he’d been paired with her. She was the newbie at S.H.I.Z., and Madame Morrible (a rather curious code name for the co-head of an organization, Elphaba thought, though perhaps not as strange as their technical leader, a nameless, faceless man known only as The Wizard) insisted on the three of them working together, despite having enlisted Elphaba for her singular talents.

She should have been where Glinda was, in the chair, directing them and watching their backs, acting as the eyes in the sky, as a perfect spy would. Instead, she was on Munchkin Street, keeping her eyes peeled for their mark during the grand parade. Burning a dark figure in effigy wasn’t exactly what Elphaba would consider ‘fun’, but everyone on Munchkin Street was in high spirits, gallivanting their way down a brick road strewn with yellow poppies.

“Dr. Dillamond should be coming up on your right, Scarecrow,” Glinda told them. “Emerald, once Scarecrow engages, you extract. We rendezvous in Oz.”

Their meeting point, which was a warehouse miles outside of the city they were currently in.

“Cheer up, Emerald,” Fiyero hummed from her side, “we’re supposed to be at a celebration, remember?”

To that, Elphaba shot him a saccharine smile, sarcasm sprinkled through her gaze.

“Better?”

“Much.”

“I know no one else probably has the guts to tell you this, but you’re an asshole.”

Fiyero gasped mockingly, placing a hand against his chest.

“You wound me.”

Elphaba rolled her eyes quickly, and both of their expressions took on curiosity tinged neutrality. She made a vow to herself then and there. He was not going to mess up her first mission. She wouldn’t allow it.

“Uh, guys?” Glinda’s voice sounded off again. “There’s a complication.”

“What sort of complication?” Elphaba hissed.

“Winged Monkey at eight o’clock.”

The code for an enemy agent.

Fucking perfect.

They couldn’t grab the Doctor without being made, but if they continued to stand there, they’d be made either way.

“They’re closing in.”

Glinda’s voice took on a higher pitch, a soaked sheen of panic bleeding through her tone.

“Exits are blocked right now, they’re starting to close off the streets.”

Fiyero’s voice washed over her, calm and collected. They still needed a plan. Elphaba blurted out the only thing she could think of.

“Kiss me.”

“What?”

She wished she could have reveled in the satisfaction of watching his eyes pop for a little longer. Instead, she said, “Kiss me. They haven’t seen us yet, so as of right now, they don’t know we’re here. Besides, public displays of affection make people uncomfortable, which means they’re less likely to — ”

Fiyero cupped her face, pressing his lips soundly against hers. Elphaba tilted her head for him, holding onto the edges of his jacket.

They broke apart, nose to nose, both of their eyes scanning for the enemy spy.

Glinda’s voice rejoined them a moment later.

“… safe to say that worked. Get out of there now, you two.”

Elphaba realized she was still holding onto Fiyero. She released him quickly, clearing her throat.

“Nice thinking back there,” he murmured to her once they were safely back at their base. She shrugged.

“I’m quick on my feet. It’s part of the reason Madame Morrible wanted me here.”

He gave her a nod, an unreadable gleam passing over his eyes. She blinked and it disappeared, replaced by his trademark smirk.

“Still… if you wanted to kiss me, Thropp, you could’ve just asked.”

Elphaba glared at him, her elbow ‘accidentally’ finding a home against his ribs when she walked past him to return to her room.

“Asshole!”

[oh-stars]

Super

Powers

a Stobin Month 2024 prompt | 754 words | CW: N/A | Rating: G

--

“Do you think Jane likes having powers?” Robin asks. 

Steve looks up at her, eyes straining. They’re laying around the new trailer’s living room, the coffee table pushed to the side from their yoga routine (it’s the only exercise Robin can agree to with the heat right now, so he’ll take it). They’re both exhausted, the heat slowing them to mush. She’s laying upside down, feet against the windowsill and her head hanging off the cushion. Her hair’s falling into Steve’s eyes, brushing against his face where their heads are basically touching. If she were Eddie, this would be dangerous – he’d topple on Steve within minutes. But Robin’s surprisingly agile. 

“I feel like it's the worst,” she continues. “I’d crumble under pressure.” 

“You didn’t when you cracked the code,” Steve points out. 

“That was different,” Robin says on a sigh. “I didn’t know that was, like, real.” 

Steve shrugs as much as he can on the floor. She’s got a point. “Jane doesn’t know any difference,” he adds. “I think she’d rather have them than not.” 

Robin twists her hair, brushing against Steve’s forehead. “She didn’t have them before spring break so she does know different. So again, does she like having powers?” 

“She definitely likes them. She uses them all the time to dick around with the other kids.” 

The AC unit kicks into overdrive, whirring in the background of their conversation like a train blowing through a neighborhood. The silence between them lasts almost two full minutes before Robin asks, “What boring super power would you want?” 

“Boring?” 

“Yeah, low stakes. No evil mind wizards like Henry/Vecna/One. No Russians or end of the world stuff. And,” she says on an inhale, “no messing with other people’s minds.” 

“I don’t know,” Steve says honestly. “I need an example. All I can think about is flight and that’s not boring.” 

“It is,” Robin says, “but not boring enough.” She hums as she wiggles on the couch, until she rolls to the side and off to sit beside him. “Like being able to only hit green lights when you’re driving.” 

Steve’s eyes widen. “Oh. That’s good.” He twists to face her, head resting on his elbow, she mimics his posture. “What about water tasting like any other drink I want?” 

She considers this, lips pursing as she tosses the idea around in her head. “Like it always tastes good or you could turn it into root beer without changing anything?” 

“Both,” Steve says, with a nod. “If I want just water, it always tastes like the best water you’ve ever had but if I really want a root beer but only have water, it’ll taste like it.” 

“What about alcohol though?” 

Steve shrugs. “I could live without it.” 

Robin nods slowly. “I think I want to be able to learn everything by touching a book.” 

“You’d be unstoppable.” 

“Exactly.” Robin smirks as she puts her hands behind her head. “I’ll be an expert on everything and anything.” 

“Henderson would hate you.” 

She laughs, sitting up as she nods. “I’ll always know more than him, but I’ll never tell him how.” 

“That’s evil,” Steve laughs. “Do it to Eddie too.” 

“You’re a genius,” Robin says. 

The door creaks open and Wayne walks in, groceries in hand. They jump up to help him without another word. 

“Hey Uncle Wayne,” Robin asks sweetly as she puts away the canned goods, “what would you want your super power to be if you had an everyday, small power that only affects you?” 

Wayne grunts as he stands up from leaning into the fridge. “What would I do with super powers?” 

“Something small,” Steve says as he hops onto the counter with an apple. “Something to make your life easier.” 

He scratches at his scruffy chin and leans against the counter beside Robin. “Make life easier?”

“Yup,” they say. 

“Like missing all the red lights,” Steve adds, tossing the apple up in the air. 

Wayne makes another thinking noise as he looks up at the popcorned ceiling. 

As he’s about to say something else, Eddie’s voice echoes through the trailer park. “Push, Gareth! Jesus Christ.” 

Wayne sighs and motions to the door. “Fixing that shit,” he says. “C’mon, Ed could use the muscle with that heap of junk and you two are at least three Gareths.” 

Steve snorts as he hops down. He slings his arm over Robin’s shoulder and pulls her close to whisper, “Bet you Jane’s powers would come in handy now.” 

Robin pushes him away, laughing. 

--

Thank you @lady-lostmind for beta reading!

Ao3 Link

[narlieweek]

🎁🎄 to: @cwream from: @teejaysnow

Charlie has changed the group name to “EMERGENCY!!!”

Charlie: Help!! It’s Christmas Day on Wednesday.

Sarah: Yes, darling. We know.

Charlie: And I still haven’t gotten Nick a gift. And, I mean, it’s a gift. For Nick. So it needs to be, like, the best Christmas gift ever. Suggestions, please 🙏🏼🙏🏼

Darcy: You could always give him a blowjpppplm

Tara: …

Tara: Sorry about that, Darcy is no longer allowed access to her phone.

Elle: It’s a good idea though.

Sarah: I’m pretending like I didn’t see that.

Elle: Sorry, Mrs Nelson.

Sarah: I’m not saying it’s a bad idea. Just that I definitely didn’t see it.

Charlie: I hate you. All of you.

Tao: Can’t you just get him a chew toy and take him to the dog park like the good boy that he is?

Charlie: STOP REFERRING TO MY BOYFRIEND AS A GOOD BOY!!!

Tara: Are you saying that he isn’t a good boy?

Charlie: I’m saying that he isn’t a golden retriever.

Tao: But he’s just so dog-coded.

Charlie: Nick. Does. Not. Look. Like. A. Golden. Retriever.

Sarah: Oh, but he definitely does.

Tao has changed the group name to “Nick looks like a golden retriever”

Charlie has changed the group name to “Nick does not look like a golden retriever and stop changing the group name, Tao”

Charlie: I hate you most of all, Scarecrow.

Tao: Rude!! Anyway, just get Toto some Bonios, I’ve heard they’re good for a shiny coat.

Charlie: Toto? Would that make me Dorothy??

Tao: You called me Scarecrow. So if the shoes fit 👠👠

Tara: Wouldn’t he technically be a friend of Dorothy, though? So, with Scarecrow already taken, that would make him either the Tin Man or the Cowardly Lion.

Tao: Fine. The lion then. And Elle is definitely Glinda ❤️❤️

Sarah: Excuse me but who am I in this brand new Wizard of Oz adaptation you’re creating? 

Sarah: And think long and hard before you answer that.

Tao: …

Tao: New phone, who dis?

Sarah: Good choice. Anyway, I’ve got to go pick the golden retriever up from his Christmas shopping, please don’t say anything else that will make me regret being in this chat.

Darcy: You mean like Charlie giving Nick a lap danpppplm

Tara: Sorry again, I’ll hide Darcy’s phone better this time.

Elle: Another good idea though.

Sarah: Leaving now…

Charlie has changed the group name to “You’re all evil and I hate you”

Charlie: You all suck! You’re at, like, vampire level of suckiness.

Tao: Are we talking Bela Lugosi vampire suckiness or Twilight vampire suckiness? Because those are two very different kinds of suckinesses and I for one will not be accused of Twilight vampire-level of suckiness, thanks.

Elle: I’m pretty sure suckinesses isn’t a word. Also, you’d make a great Edward. 

Tao: You take that back! I’ve never been so insulted in my life!!

Tara: She’s got a point, though. Broody, stubborn, tall. That’s definitely you.

Elle has changed the group name to “Tao is a Twilight vampire”

Tao: Hey, when did this chat turn from roasting Charlie into let’s bully Tao?? I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative, one that I have never asked to be a part of.

Elle: You’re too embarrassed to accept your Twilight suckiness but you’ll quote Taylor Swift like she’s one of your overly pretentious filmmakers?

Tao: I am secure enough in my masculinity to both listen to and quote Taytay, thank you very much. Also, Twilight is nothing but terrible writing and terrible acting.

Tao: Oh, and also capitalism.

Elle: Didn’t you say that Robert Pattinson was the best Batman?

Tao: Hey, I told you that in confidence.

Charlie: Wait, you, Tao Xu, have watched a Batman movie??!!!

Tao: Now see what you’ve done.

Charlie: YOU HAVE WATCHED ENOUGH BATMAN MOVIES TO HAVE A FAVOURITE BATMAN?!!!!

Tao: Christopher Nolan is an amazing director and I am therefore prepared to watch whatever project he’s involved in, even if it is a stupid superhero franchise.

Charlie: Yes, but

Charlie: Nolan didn’t direct the Pattinson movie.

Tao: …

Tao: Fine. I like Batman, okay? Can we get back to the fact that you just discovered that Christmas is in four days??

Charlie: Shit. Yes. Christmas. Help!!

Elle: I still say Darcy had the right idea.

Charlie: I am not giving Nick a blowjob for Christmas!!!

Elle: Why not? Even his mum said it was a good idea.

Tao: How do you gift-wrap a blowjob though?

Charlie: Can we all STOP TALKING ABOUT BLOWJOBS??

Elle has changed the group name to “Charlie should give Nick a blowjob for Christmas”

Charlie has changed the group name to “Elle is one warning away from being kicked out of the chat”

Elle has changed the group name to “Elle is surprisingly okay with that”

Tara: Can’t you just get him a book on rugby or something? I’m sure Waterstones has a million of them.

Charlie: But that’s not the best Christmas gift ever, is it?? And it NEEDS to be the best Christmas gift ever since this is the last Christmas before Nick leaves for uni.

Tao: Never to be heard from again, I’m sure. Jeez, Charlie, he’s applying for Leeds, not the North Pole.

Charlie: Might as well be. Do you know how far away Leeds is?

Tao: Yes. Because you keep telling us. It’s 229 miles.

Tara: Yep. 229 miles.

Elle: 229 miles.

Charlie: IT’S 229 MILES!!

Tara: Although to be fair, it’s about 3,700 miles to the North Pole, so… 🤷🏾‍♀️

Charlie: But none of those miles includes the M25.

Tara: Point taken. You’ll obviously never see him again.

Charlie: Exactly. And focus, people. Nick? Gift?!

Tao changed the group name to “Charlie is being annoying again”

Charlie: Funny. Really.

Tao: How hard can it be? I mean, you could get Nick a rolled up newspaper and he’d love it because you got it for him. He’s just as whipped as you are. 

Charlie: So your suggestion is a rolled up newspaper 😒😒

Tao: Maybe not my first suggestion but it’s among the top five.

Charlie: Such helpful. Very appreciate.

Elle: He’s right though, Nick is ridiculously whipped. I wouldn’t suggest a rolled up newspaper per se, but whatever you end up getting will be his “best Christmas gift ever” just because it’s from you.

Charlie changed the group name to “I am not getting Nick a rolled up newspaper for Christmas”

Charlie: And STOP CHANGING THE GROUP NAME!!

Elle changed the group name to “No!”

Tara changed the group name to “Now you’re both being annoying”

Tara: Can we please get back to Charlie’s dilemma or I’ll give Darcy back her phone.

Tao: Pretty sure that threat is in violation of the Geneva Convention.

Tara: I don’t think the Geneva Convention is applicable here. Maybe you could invoke the Animal Welfare Act instead?

Charlie: ANIMAL Welfare Act? Really?? Who’s the animal here?

Tara: Nick.

Elle: Nick, obviously.

Tao: That golden retriever of yours.

Charlie: …

Charlie: I asked for that one, didn’t I?

Charlie: Anyway, can you people stop being you for one second? I really need help.

Tao: Oh, we know.

Charlie: Shut it, Edward.

Elle: Okay, vampires aside, what are we thinking? Are we going for practical, sentimental, futurity?

Charlie: Futurity?

Elle: I don’t know, something Nick can take with him to Leeds to remind him of you?

Tara: Like an oil painting! Very Jane Austen. I’m sure Elle can paint one for you?

Elle: Not in four days I can’t!!

Charlie: And I am not giving Nick a painting of myself like some narcissistic twat.

Tara: You’re being a very Negative Nelly right now, which isn’t very Austen of you.

Charlie: Why did I ever think asking you lot was a good idea again?

Charlie changed the group name to “You’re all useless”

Elle: That’s a bit harsh.

Tao: Agreed.

Tara: 😭😭😭

Charlie changed the group name to “Sorry and I love you all very much a lot ❤️❤️❤️”

Tao: 😑😑

Charlie: 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Tao: Fine. I guess we love you too.

Charlie: Nice. Now, gimme suggestions!!

Tao: I still vote for the dog biscuits.

Elle: Can’t you make him some kind of gift basket, like, I don’t know, “10 things I love about you”?

Charlie: …

Charlie: That’s actually a good idea! Although ten doesn’t sound enough, more like “50 things I love about you”. Or 100. Maybe “1000 things I love about you”?

Tao changed the group name to “You’re gonna need a bigger boat”

Elle: “Of all the things I love about Nick, the one thing I love the most is his…”

Tara: Elle!! 😱😱😱

Elle: 😎🍆

Nick: Um. You guys do know I’m in this group too, right?

Charlie: Shit.

Charlie has left the group

Tao has left the group

Elle has left the group

Tara has left the group

Aled: Hi, Nick, what’s up?

[adragonsfriend]

Reading Darth Plagueis,

by James Luceno.

Ok I finished this book. It was a wild ride, here are some highlights, (anything in quotes, " ", is in fact, a direct quote). Spoilers, I guess.

———

“At some point, probably when he was focused on murder, a rock or other projectile had pulped a large area of his lower back.”--Plagueis

Yeah man that always happens to me too when I’m focused on murder

———

Me thinking, *Plagueis is way too normal for a sith,* about five seconds before the narration goes *Plagueis was hungry. he thought about eating the eggs of some sentient lizards and also the sentient lizards themselves, but restrained himself*

———

Plagueis, a banker: nOt all mUNns R bAnkErS u kNoW

A pirate who wants a bribe: be better for you if you were some financial wizard

Plagueis, a literal wizard:

———

Captain La (the random pirate): how do u know my name

Plagueis: *truthing* I sliced you ship’s systems,

Plagueis: *lying* it’s not like I’m a telepath or something

———

*at the evil rich people party*

"Republic senators, at least those that weren’t present, would be subjected to ridicule—"

I love how the narration says "subjected" like Bail Organa would give fuck about some assholes making fun of him

———

Plagueis in a business meeting as hego damask:

Repeats himself multiple times conducting experiments in trying to force suggest to a resistant species

His assistant: bro what r u doing ur making us look bad

———

omg young Palpatine is so Anakin coded. Genuinely he throws tantrums it’s perfect

———

Tag this accidental baby acquisition some random dathomiri lady just handed maul over like a sac of potatoes

———

Sidious, about to gaslight, girlboss, gatekeep, mansplain, manipulate, and threaten to manslaughter Nute Gunray within an inch of his life all in the span of a 2 minute zoom call: *wearing his Sith cloak on their holocall* what is up my guy? did u get the rare collectible bird I sent u anonymously a while back?

Nute Gunray: uhh…yes…um… its very nice…who are you and why r u hiding in that hood bro?

Sidious: it's the traditional clothing of my Order

Gunray: ur a cleric?

Sidious: "Do I seem like a holy man to you?"

Me: the only holes I see here are in your logic, morals, ability to feel compassion, and *waves hand all encompassingly* vibes

———

Dooku: if one more Jedi dies because of the indolence of the republic, I’ll leave the Jedi and refuse to look back

Palpatine: *listening attentively*

———

Plagueis & Maul: (separately) gloat about being Sith Lords to people they’re about to kill

Sidious:

Sidious: these idiots cannot keep a secret to save their lives—

———

Plagueis ACTUALLY believes Sidious is about to appoint him co-chancellor. what an idiot.

———

Padme shocking both Sith at every turn during the Naboo crisis is sending me

———

Oooh Sidious' murder rant is incredible. He's like Plagueis you manipulated and abused me, now i'm gonna kill you so I can go do that to other people without you hanging over my shoulder. It's like the evil but still cathartic version of Zuko's speech to Firelord Ozai.

———

Dooku: That zabrak guy was definitely a Sith. There has to be another one, probably the master

Sidious, standing right next to him in a shadowy warehouse wearing a black cloak: “how would one even begin to know where to look for this other Sith?”

———

“For an instant, Palpatine perceived a touch of his younger self in Skywalker”

This book needs to stop. Maybe consider pulling its punches sometime. The only mark of disapproval I have here is that this is portraying Obi-Wan as an asshole for the five seconds he’s present

———

Bad news, the book did indeed stop. I have been gravely injured, but also greatly amused. The experience of reading this book is just constant vacillation between *wow so Sith Lord, so scary, so evil* and *Plagueis, my guy, that is the dumbest ideology I’ve ever heard. maybe if you took a nap (for the first time in 20 years) you’d finally say something that made sense*

I will also confess that I was taking detailed notes about Plagueis for an AU idea I have that I will not be starting for at least another year because I am married to BHOT and I refuse to be like the rest of you sorry fucks with 17 wips (ignoring that fanfic is in fact the only genre of writing I do not have at least 17 wips in)

[between-the-matches-verse]

Throughout the Eras Incorrect Quotes #3

Havik: I woke up and chose VIOLENCE. I WILL COMMIT ARSON AND BURN EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND!!! I AM ANGRY-

Sareena: Awwww, you’re so adorable! Give me a hug~

Havik: Wh-What? nO, yOURE SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF ME! TREMBLE BEFORE MY WRATH-

Ashrah, recording: This is so cute.

-----

*Reiko is telling a story*

Motaro: Wow, Reiko, this story has everything! Action! Adventure! Romance!

Shao: Romance?

Motaro: I have a crush on him.

-----

Tanya: Well, remember when Mileena made a romantic dinner for me?

Khameleon: Tanya, she microwaved you a pizza.

-----

Kitana, reading a recipe: Beat three eggs?

Mileena: It means like in hand-to-hand combat.

Kitana: Ohhhh-

Sindel: Both of you get out of this kitchen.

-----

Raiden: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.

Kung Lao: This knife is actually a magic wand.

Kenshi: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel.

Johnny Cage: *cocks gun* Magic missile.

Liu Kang: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

-----

Sub-Zero: *tapping fingers on table*

Smoke: *taps fingers back furiously*

Rain: …What’s going on?

Scorpion: Morse code. They’re talking.

Sub-Zero: -.-- ..- .-. / - …. . / -.-. ..- - . … -

Smoke: *slams hands on table* YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

[dr-demi-bee]

Miri-

I don't know much about you, I'm sorry. All I heard was that you were a fighter, brave and fierce, and that Gale loves you so. I wanted to say... thank you? I suppose? I know, it's out of the blue, and you're probably completely baffled right now, so I can only apologize. But Gale is so wonderful. He is so brilliant and kind and he deserves someone who will lift his spirits.

But you deserve Gale, too. I know he wouldn't stay with someone who didn't treat him with the utmost care and affection, not anymore. So I know he's in good hands. He is my dear, dear friend, and I am so glad to see him happy. But that he makes you happy too, that's important.

You take care of one another, you hear? If he gets on your nerves, come by for a chat and a treat. I'm outside the city, near Cloakwood's edge. Left at the faerie ring. You're welcome anytime.

-Your friend

Miri’s relaxing in the late evening sun on the tower balcony when Corvus arrives with a letter strapped to his leg. She wasn’t expecting a new contract from the Confluence any time soon, so she’s perplexed when she takes the note from him. Miri offers the dire raven a series of affectionate scritches in reward for the delivery and the great bird crows happily.

Her confusion mounts when she opens the letter. Not the usual coded message - and not a note from a packmate either. Something written in Common, and in an unfamiliar hand, no less.

“Who...?” Miri squints as she tries to parse through the words. But so much of it is vocabulary she hasn’t learned yet. She recognizes her name at the opening. And Gale’s name numerous times. “Sorry...fight, brave...lo-ve...”

Miri growls tersely as her frustration trying to read mounts. Note in hand, she swings her legs over the seat to stride into the study in search of her mate.

“Fenor?”

“Over here, my love.” Gale’s voice answers from the seating around the fireplace further inside the room. She finds him reading a thick tome by firelight, but he looks up as she approaches with a warm smile and eyes glittering in the warm glow. His expression shifts when he notes her mood and the paper in hand. “From Talmeria? Something amiss?”

“No, not Talmeria,” Miri returns with a shake of her head, glancing to the writing once more. Unfamiliar, and certainly not in the Confluence’s style. “I am not sure who from.”

Miri proffers the letter to him, causing him to raise a curious brow. But when he catches a glimpse they furrow with a confusion.

“Who would write you in Common?” Gale questions with a curious murmur. Those thoughtful eyes flit back and forth quickly as they scan the note.

“I am unsure,” Miri returns, “Could you read it to me?”

“Of course, my love.”

Gale obliges, shifting the tome from his lap to the side table. Then he stands and accepts the note, clearing his throat softly.

“Hmm. 'Miri', it starts. 'I don't know much about you...'”

He reads the note aloud, in his rich, soothing voice. Miri sits on the arm of the chair as she listens, watching Gale move about the room and gesticulate as he orates. Brown eyes flit up to Miri on occasion to ensure she’s not missed any words. Her Common has come a long way, to his great pride, but there were still hiccups every now and then.

As he works through the note, a look of growing intrigue falls over the wizard’s features. He turns to her with a curious hum once he finishes the letter, eyebrows drawing up.

“It seems a stranger has written a letter of appreciation. About you and me, no less. And, rightfully, how I am lucky to have you,” he muses, lips curling up into a warm smile once more.

Miri looks back to him with a soft, but quizzical smile, her lips twisting slightly.

"What would possess someone to do that?" She wonders. "Why would they want to meet me?"

“Perhaps they’re an admirer of us both?” Gale theorizes, sounding a bit amused by the idea. He glances down at the letter, as if reading it again might provide further insight.

“Or…” Gale’s gaze refocuses, finding Miri’s bright eyes again. His expression softens. “Perhaps they’re hoping to get to know the person who has captured my heart.”

He steps closer, lifting his free hand to gently brush his knuckles over Miri’s freckled cheek. Miri leans into the contact. Her gaze softens as it meets his, though her brows remain furrowed with her lingering suspicion.

Gale’s hand slides back to thread into her hair, his fingers brushing against her neck. He gives the woven coils a soft tug - a silent request to come closer. Miri stands, winding her arms around his waist. Her hold is protective and possessive as she gazes up at him with a somewhat serious expression and blazing bright eyes.

“I can tell you’re troubled,” Gale speaks softly, as his eyes search her face. “You’ve got your ‘suspicious face’ on. What are you thinking?”

"I am unfamiliar with these customs," she murmurs softly. She takes a step closer, pressing tighter into his embrace. "I cannot help but be wary of a stranger's attention."

Gale wraps his arms loosely around her, pulling her close against his chest. His warmth, his scent surrounding her - a comfort. He can’t resist leaning in to plant a kiss against her forehead, his eyes falling shut as he breathes her in.

“I don’t blame you in the least, my love. With the way people have treated you, you’re right to be wary,” he assures her in a gentle murmur. Gale pulls her closer still, until his chin rests atop her head. “And I wouldn’t want anything to make you feel unsafe. You want me to toss the letter in the fire?”

Miri shakes her head. A small, endeared smile tugs at Gale’s lips. His hands smooth languid circles against her back.

“I understand.” He leans back to meet her gaze, his eyes full of patient warmth and deep affection. “I’m admittedly not particularly enthusiastic about strangers having an interest in us either. But I can’t help but want to know who they are. Don’t you?” Miri's hands tighten against him slightly and she huffs a sharp breath.

"They claim to be a dear friend of yours," she returns, still suspect. "I have contacts in Cloakwood... Perhaps I will send a message."

Gale huffs a soft, quiet laugh through his nose. He can’t help but love her protective instincts.

“Ah, my fierce protector, always with one paw between me and danger.” He gently pinches her chin between forefinger and thumb, tilting it up with a warm smile on his lips. “You’re adorable.”

Miri snorts a soft laugh, giving him a wry, chastising look.

"Be serious," she chides, though she can't suppress her half smile.

He feigns a pout, though his eyes gleam with a familiar mischief.

“I am serious,” he protests, gently pulling them closer together until not even a hint of space remains between them. “You are adorable. And I love you. It’s very serious.”

He leans in to press a light kiss to her forehead and against her cheek. Another, against her jaw. And lower, against her throat. His voice is a breath against her skin.

“Truly, I’m deathly serious…”

Miri looses a peal of giggles before she’s lost in his embrace for the next few hours. But in the morning, she sends Corvus off with a letter (in Elvish) to a friend in Cloakwood - another ranger faithful to Mielikki.

[talenlee]

The Nemuranai System

Alright, in Oriental Adventures‘ expanded 3e books –

Wait wait wait don’t go, hang on.

Content Warning: This is going to discuss some books that are, very simply, quite Orientalist, in the classical Edward Said sense. Not nakedly racist in a slursy way, just racist in how it simplifies cultures in the names of telling a particular form of story. If you don’t wanna mess around with that, y’know, probably want to avoid it.

Anyway, there’s this system in the Rokugan books for handling gear. Specifically, the idea is that as a character in the Rokugan setting levels up and accumulates experience, rather than going to a magic store and picking up new swords and armours that are part of an ongoing escalation of gear in a marketplace that is constantly creating an increased demand, rather that player characters themselves, by dint of being powerful and cool and renowned, start to affect the gear they’ve been travelling with the whole time. The spirits of their equipment awaken and become powerful in response to the person who owns them being powerful.

This also is transitive – if someone powerful gives you their sword with its awakened spirits, it can be a powerful item thanks to them conferring it, but not as powerful as if they had it, or if you take something off someone that was powerful, it won’t work for you and will just be a sword. This association, this effective transformation of gear into a social improvement, where you have to convince spirits in the equipment that you’re worthy of how cool they are, is interesting in that it both serves as a way to disincentivize theft and looting, but also means that player characters are going to get equipment that’s explicitly coded to them as they level up and fitting the way they want to do things.

This system for the ‘spirits of the item’ was known as the Nemuranai system, based on the word ‘nemuranai’ which I think translates to ‘not sleeping.’ I don’t know if this is a full-blown hilarious translation mistake in an early guidebook way, but it might be and I’d leave it to someone who knows Japanese properly to ask.

The number of books that were put out for 3.5 really is hard to hold in the mind. In a time when ebooks were just starting as a market, in a time when we didn’t have the same obvious massive front-end surfaces like DriveThruRPG and its subordinate DM’s Guild. The OGL came along at just the right time, in the same vein as other Web 2.0 stalwarts, to be a thing that resulted in a lot of people creating a lot of material the whole time.

Like me!

Anyway, that meant that not only were you getting unique lines for D20 like Warcraft and BESM but we also saw the rise of D20-ified existing games, like D20 Rokugan. I’ve talked in the past about how great Rokugan was because its creators didn’t give a stuff about Wizard Supremacy (even if they didn’t appreciate the scale of the problem). The D20 Rokugan books included books about handling magical spells and items, in a setting that didn’t really have a lot of those things.

And make no mistake, I do not have any illusions about what real Samurai or real Asian adventures in the same vein as the Dungeons & Dragons ouvre are. This is not really about Actual Asian Adventures, this is about the vision of Samurai adventure media made and distributed and remembered and replicated in the west. There, people aren’t questing and finding ancient swords (which is ironic because of all sorts of things to do with palingenesis), but instead, it’s about inheriting old swords. Notably, nobody kills people and takes the sword off them unless they’re someone bad.

This is what Nemuranai was trying to address.

I really can’t underscore how important your equipment was to your character in 3rd edition. Gear was so important to how a character functioned that when you built a character higher than level 1, there was a table that showed the appropriate amount of magical gear you started with. There were functions of how a character works in 3rd edition, like your access to weaponry with an appropriate set of bonuses, your ability to absorb or escape damage, and even your ability to engage on multiple platforms. Around level 9, everyone flies, and if you don’t pick up a way to fly around that level, even for a little bit, you are going to be in trouble as encounters are sculpted assuming you can handle an enemy just flying away and pelting you with ranged attacks.

What’s more, gear is so important that if you level up manually, and follow the tables that generate treasure and gear — distinct categories, make no mistake! — then you wind up with a character whose budget is larger than these characters who were made at a higher level, because you were expected to lose some money through the course of operations by things like selling gear or consumables, like potions and wands and scrolls or stuff you crafted for yourself (oh hi, Wizard problems, why are you here)?

Looting is a big part of the game, in that there’s a big pile of tables for it, but it’s also a meaningless part of the game in that as long as the DM is doling out rewards appropriate to the table. What this meant in my experience was players constructing wish-lists, hoping for particular items, or the DM using that level-by-level budget to construct a chain of items to give to the players. It’s there, I did run the game using the loot tables sometimes, but it wasn’t an interesting tool to use and it relied heavily on preloading, adding an accountancy element to the interesting thing (designing meaningful combat encounters).

And then you throw this game into a different thematic space, where ostensibly, ‘people don’t loot.’ Which doesn’t break the game, because the looting and the loot tables aren’t… that… important. The gear is, but the way you get the gear, it turns out, isn’t.

Look, Dungeons & Dragons, in every edition, is a modular game system of exclusions. There’s a body of opinion about D&D that thinks the idea that players don’t have an exhaustive, comprehensive vision of the rules, is a sign of a problem in the game, which is completely unhinged. The nature of a class system is to make it so that there’s ways the game can sequester operations. Don’t have a Barbarian in the party? Then nobody needs to track Barbarians. You’re not using the encumbrance rules for anyone? Then nobody needs to worry about them. If you are using them, they interact across all people.

There’s a vision of how this is a sign that there’s something wrong, or broken in how D&D works, as opposed to literally structural to the entire design methodology. If a thing is not present in the game, its operations aren’t necessary, and therefore, any new thing can bring its own operations with it. Now this is a design approach that is volume-heavy. There’s a reason you can print a dozen monster books and still not really have a reasonably varied ecology for a real world scale, because every one of those monsters is a discrete module that lets you pull it in and out. There’s a reason that building real estate is in a bonus supplementary book and the core rule book has optional content like ‘the fighter.’

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[fumifooms]

Howl’s moving castle dunmeshi AU

I’ve cracked the code I know why I love Marcille x Chilchuck so much. They’re literally just like Howl’s Moving Castle Howl and Sophie. Okok indulge me for a sec I’m about to dump so many pics and ramble for a bit. I want you to see my marchil vision. It’s fabulous extra cringefail hopeless romantic drama queen x grumpy old sad angry caring hardworking person cursed to be here & cursing fate and giving tough love to everything in a miles radius. No one is safe. From either of them. Calcifer or Micheal is Izutsumi. Wait wait no Calcifer is Senshi and Michael is Izutsumi. Senshi as Calcifer works bc Calcifer is just chained to Howl and is there reminding Howl to not die and take care of himself, giving hints about how to break the curse to Sophie, also the fire demon cooks the eggs and bacon checkmate. And then LAIOS IS TURNIP HEAD OH MY GOD THAT WORKS OUT PERFECTLY. Chilchuck & Marcille, screaming terrified of the weird scarecrow chasing after them, meanwhile the weird scarecrow that’s harmless: :(. Wizard Suliman is Falin and the second fire demon is Winged Lion, so bam everything comes full circle.

I’m assuming most people who’ll see this post maybe saw the movie but not the book, and what you need to know is that the movie makes Howl so much dreamier and collected and cool, whereas in the book he’s just a drama queen 24/7 that’s it. He’s a wet cat dressed in expensive sparkly glittery gowns that needs to be yelled at to do anything he needs to do. He complains. He bemoans. Meanwhile Sophie is, honestly pretty like in the movie? Less contrarian and anger issues but will grumble and yells while cleaning nonetheless. Hardworking but will pathetically sit down on a chair in a dark corner to cry about her aching bones and OHH this is ALL because she’s the eldest child and she was doomed for unhappiness and no one can ever love her… So she’ll whack everyone into order and purge her feelings through aggressive cleaning and using weed killer. IS THIS NOT GIVING MARCILLE & CHIL TO YOU?!

There’s this funny widespread take from the fandom:

And it couldn’t be more true in a marchil context either. Like come on. For all of this post just swap the names of Howl for Marcille and Sophie for Chilchuck.

(Last one with the art by Cookiekappa on Tumblr)

Tell me this isn’t so Marcille. Tell me Chil wouldn’t run away from home thinking he’s failed life and is no longer in shape to work and now has to waddle in self-pity, seeking out wizards which he hates and finds shady bc it’s his last option, and then end up a maid & cleans everything out of spite and also worry for the person living there. Tell me Marcille wouldn’t throw a depressed slime tantrum so bad that it causes a partial town evacuation because her wails summon unknown horrors, over her HAIR. Forget slime she’d blow up the house instantly. She would breakdance as refusal to go see the king. Chilchuck would call her a slitherer-outer and she would gasp in offense and they’d have a fight.

Marcille having full on poems laying around and then Chil & Izu seeing them and being like "Ah yes, this must be a spell, it makes no sense and is so extra, just like how silly our resident witch and her magic is". Izutsumi going "Okay peepaw I’ll teach you how to use a magical bucket just take one step forward-" and they immediately fuck it up and they’re left stranded in far unknown lands. Chilchuck complaining that HIS BACK HURTS. And at every turn or something mildly inconveniencing him "NOTHING GOOD EVER HAPPENS TO THE MIDDLE CHILD".

And can we talk about the aging motif, the curse… Marcille never letting herself grow close to someone even though she does all these grand gestures for them at first. Meanwhile her fear of loss stares at her straight in the eye whenever she looks at 90 years old Chilchuck, and her deciding to not run away from their relationship is what ends up healing both of them. She gets over her fear of intimacy and he grows over feeling like a terribly dull unlovable failure. Me sobbing when I remember how Sophie’s curse of being old is a self-inflicted manifestation of herself thinking she’s romantically unlovable and weak…….

This is it for now but rest assured that I want to make art of this, have these memes for now

[necros-writing-stuff]

Silent Touches| Simon “Ghost” Riley x Fem! Reader

18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

Summary: He’d never shown any interest. Yet somehow, she ended up in his lap, held so close it seemed as though he needed her. 

Content: Ghost is bad in bed (but he’s learning), cannot effectively communicate, and has a tonne of intimacy issues. He’s also a pining idiot. Use of bindings and blindfolds. They’re both eagerly into it. Creampies happen. No use of Y/N, use of She/Her pronouns.  

Word Count: 1474.

Note: This is not at all my usual content, it’s usually much darker and not Ghost centred, so beware checking out my blog!

She never expected it to happen, these quiet soft moments between them. She was just the computer guy. The tech wizard brought into the 141 to deal with all of the hard-drives they recovered, to write viruses for them to implant, to make sure their equipment was as safe as she could make it. She was kept to the side, never really interacting with those who went out into the field unless she was helping them out with something.

It was lonely. Which might be why she didn't say no when Lieutanant Ghost approached her that one night. She saw him more than she saw the others. He was either always working, or resting at base between jobs. There didn't seem to be a home for him to go back to - and if there was, he sorely neglected it.

It had been late, not that she'd ever notice. Her little work room, right beside the bases' servers, had no windows. And she was so absorbed into her work that the little clock in the corner of her screen stopped existing to her. Ghost's presence pulled her out of the stupor. Who knows how long he'd been hovering behind her before he leaned over, placing another laptop onto her desk and making her jump.

"Recovered it from a terrorist nest in East London. Laswell says its priority."

She nodded, rubbing her tired eyes and finally checking the clock. 2:34AM. And her coffee had gone stone cold.

"I'll be right back; need to fill this up. You want anything?"

He never said yes, but it was polite to ask. Whenever something was priority Ghost would hover around, waiting for the job to be done. Even if it took hours. He must be as tired as her, his gear had been removed but his eyes were red and agitated. His weapons mostly returned to the locker, but a handgun and knife were always present.

Ghost stayed silent the entire time she worked, save for pointing out what was and wasn't useful. The damn hard drive was jamb-packed with information, most of it seemingly useless and misleading. Things could have still been hidden among the nonsense.

It was around 7AM when she had to stop. She was far from done, but with how exhausted she was, she was liable to miss things. She put her searching software to use, looking for keywords Ghost provided (including the currently known code-words this group was using), hoping it would dig up things she hadn't gotten to yet.

She didn't get to bed for another half hour. Not when Ghost had grasped her wrist, his grip gentle and unsure. He refused to look at her when he tugged her close, his other hand brushing her thigh before he held that too. Still gentle.

He looked up once. The question he refused to speak written all over his eyes as he squeezed his hands. He'd have let go if she said no. But she was lonely. And he was offering.

It couldn't be called fucking. Definitely wasn't making love. He tried to be gentle, but she could tell he didn't know what to do. Ghost could have bent her over her desk, could have picked her up and pinned her to the wall with ease. Instead he'd turned her around, shimmied her pants down to her knees, and had her sit with her back against his chest as he slowly humped up into her cunt. He kept his forehead pressed to her shoulder. He didn't make a peep. Just let out shaky breaths every so often as he ground himself deep.

It was slightly painful, definitely uncomfortable, with no preparation and the tip of his cock constantly pressing against her cervix. But she couldn't bring herself to push his hands away, couldn't deny him this little moment of relief.

It ended like it began. With no words uttered, just the shuffling of clothes and brief nods before they parted ways. She didn't see him stare after her as she left the room, underwear uncomfortably wet with his seed dripping into the fabric. Turns out staying on birth control was a good idea, after all.

It didn't stop at the one time. But it wasn't often, either. Neither of them acknowledged it happening, seemingly not even when they were doing it. And it was always in that manner, her back to his front, his masked face against her neck, his hips grinding rather than thrusting as his arms kept her close against his strong frame. But at least he changed it up with where they did it. He even took her standing one time. He always came inside.

It took her a while to notice the small changes. How he'd sit closer to her when waiting for results. How he'd shower before coming to her little room. How a bottle of water would be left beside her head when she'd fall asleep at her desk.

She definitely noticed when he started with the foreplay. His gloves coming off so he could circle her clit with the pads of his fingers before he slid himself inside. Telling her to keep her eyes shut as he lifted the lower half of his mask to lave kisses up her neck. He even bit her once. Must have had a really hard day.

It was much easier to enjoy it when he treated her like that. He was still insistent on humping her cervix, but at least she was wetter than a river while he did it.

She didn't want to say anything, lest she scared him off. He was learning - slowly - but he was getting more and more confident in returning the pleasure to her.

She'd grown so reliant on these moments, the affection and intimacy so deep even if it would seem cold to anyone else. Ghost didn't do this. He barked orders, accepted a bump of a fist or a back-pat at most. But she'd never seen him hug someone close like he did her, even if she wasn't allowed to touch him during their trysts. Sure, his cock wasn't filling anyone else up, but it was as confusing as it was complimentary.

Even when he met her in her bunk and had her ride him, he'd ensured that she couldn't touch him. He'd tied her hands behind her back, and even blindfolded her. It was hard to stay upright, but she kept her back straight for as long as she could as she bounced on his hips.

He was always so slow when he was in charge of the pace. To take the reigns and go as hard and fast as she could was relieving, and Ghost seemed to enjoy it, too. She'd felt the way has thighs had clenched beneath her's.

She couldn't keep it up forever, though. Eventually, Ghost took over. She had been so so close to cumming on his cock (for the first time since they'd began doing this, too) and the thought of feeling it wane away due to the Lieutenant's slow pace made her whine against his chest. His naked chest. He'd taken his clothes off this time, his mask, too. But only after the blindfold had gone on. His skin felt so hot against her cheek.

He wasn't slow, though. Not this time. Maybe he expected her to be as gentle as he had been when he'd settled her onto his hips. Maybe he'd thought that the gentleness was for her benefit and not for his. Whatever the reason, it didn't seem to matter anymore. He was rough, his hands firm on her hips, bringing her up before slamming her down and making her scream out. Something ended up shoved into her mouth, to keep her quiet and not have them caught. She wasn't technically military, more of a private contractor, so it's not like he'd be punished for this. But Ghost probably values privacy above anything else.

She came hard, muscles twitching, both her and Ghost's thighs drenched in her juices, her pitiful whines muffled by the fabric stuffed between her lips. It wiped her out for the night, making sleep satisfying when it came to her. Ghost didn't stay.

She couldn't say if things would progress further than that. If he'd ever untie her, let her see his face - if he'd ever even speak when he took her.

"Ghost will come pick up what you find when you're done," Price had said, shoving another little black box across the meeting room table towards you. Another raid. Another little thing to poke around in.

She remembered the times that would have meant nothing, for Ghost to pick something up. The hunger in his eyes, blatant and direct when she looked up at the masked man told her he wouldn't be waiting to come see her.

[thephoenixandthecrocodile]

Thoughts on the ROP Season Finale

I absolutely ADORE the Balrog scene. Amazing visuals, amazing ending to the Durin’s relationship, amazing music! It was absolutely gorgeous

Also love that Disa and Narvi came to Durin’s aid even when Durin told them not to. That’s true love.

So, the Rhun storyline definitely suffered the most this season and I’m hoping now that we know who the Stranger is, we can focus on developing the dark wizard and what role he has to play in all of this.

Also, I love Ciaran Hinds, so definitely want him to have more screentime next season haha

“Pity will not defeat Sauron” – oh oh oh if only you knew what the pity of a Baggins means for Sauron’s future.

And then there’s Numenor -_- Honestly, at this point, I can’t wait to see it fall into the sea.

Earien, babe, maybe you should stop following orders you don’t fully understand.

This season Pharazon: Miriel is a traitor because she’s working with Sauron. Pharazon next season: You know, Sauron’s not that bad actually.

Earien is frustrating but she always wears the most beautiful outfits

How does Elendil have such easy access to Miriel’s private chamber? XD

“And where is my place, if not by your side” JUST KISS ALREADY?!

AH!!!! Narsil!!! I squealed during this scene.

Love this tracking shot of the carnage in Eregion and Galadriel kicking ass

God damn it, Galadriel, you had one job! Protect the nine!

Oh my god Celebrimbor!  This scene, this scene broke me and is everything I wanted from Celebrimbor’s death. The pain. The defiance against all odds. The quiet victory. The prophecy of the one ring and Sauron’s end. It was so beautiful.

That face caress! How often do you think Sauron did that when they were ‘friends’? And now...

“Look what you’ve done to yourself” Oh fuck you!

I LOVE defiant Celebrimbor! So brave. So tragic. So flawed. In the end, he stood before the Dark Lord with nothing but his words and shook Sauron to his very core and made the Dark Lord cry. What a fucking bad ass.

ALSO THOSE FUCKING TEARS!!! GIVE BOTH CHARLES AND CHARLIE ALL THE AWARDS RIGHT NOW

I’ve enjoyed the glimpses into the Southlands this season. I think it’s going to pay dividends in Isildur’s character arc next season when he returns to Numenor and can testify to the needs of the Southland and the righteous of Miriel’s campaign.

I enjoyed the Isildur Theo hug. I hope they meet up again. There’s potential for a tragic friendship between them.

Listen, Estrid wants to go to Numenor simply because she wants to know what indoor plumbing is right.

Like the reference to Bronwyn and the role she held in the community.

MY GOD THE EMOTIONS THAT CROSSED KEMEN’S FACE WHEN HE SAW ISILDUR WAS ALIVE! Bwahahahaha

BEREK!!!! Best horse ever!

Also, these poor people. First, they were under the watch of the Elves, never knowing a moment peace and privacy. Then Adar. Then “Halbrand” who just never showed up, and now the fucking Numenorians. They just can’t catch a break.

“After all, they’re only trees.” FUCKING KEMEN!!!!! This little shit. If an Entwife doesn’t squash him next season I’m going to be pissed.

Ahhh! Glow-up Adar!

“A meaningless name. A name I was given.” That is so trans coded.

Ahhhhh he returns the ring so he can still be an Uruk and be with his children. ☹

“I forgive you. No more flames. No more darkness.” *cries*

The ring gave him hope, something he hasn’t had for Eru knows how long.

“Forgive me child.” “it’s too late.” “it’s never too late. Not even for me. And not for you, my son” “It’s too late” *sobs* No!!!!! Adar!!!!!! *bawls*

This is another season that completely broke me. Adar betrayed by his own children, children he truly adored and wanted to protect. Adar who maybe could have actually give them a true home and peace.

Also, Galadriel freezing and having major PTSD as seeing Sauron again is so relatable. It’s what happens when you see your former abuser unexpectantly and she also must have realized that Celebrimbor was dead and it was now up to her to protect the nine so his death wouldn’t be in vain.

Ok using the crown as a weapon is awesome, but still fuck you Sauron. I hate you so much!!

Elrond begging to save Celebrimbor’s life work slayed me. All that work and knowledge gone. Like the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

I fucking love this fight with Sauron and Galadriel. So proud of our girl holding her own against Sauron for as long as she did. Also kicking Sauron over the rocks was beautiful and of course the bastard has to regain control of the fighting by casting illusions of her friends.

DON’T YOU DARE USE CELEBRIMBOR IN YOUR ILLUSIONS YOU LITTLE SHIT

“The door is shut.”

“I would have placed a crown on your head” Do you think Sauron’s little speech to Galadriel is how Morgoth seduced Mairon? That promise of equally shared power. Of worship and glory.

Also love that everyone is so focused on Galadriel’s ring that no one even pauses to consider Gil-Galad THE HIGH KING might have a ring as well. XD

I’m with Gil-Galad: DWARVES!!!!!!!!

That fucking smile when Sauron things Galadriel is going to give her the ring. That she “understands” his goals.

Love that Galadriel took a page out of Elrond’s book and yeeted herself off a cliff to protect her ring. XD

Poor Sauron, rejected by the only two people he “loved” today. As this point, you would think he’d pause and consider that “maybe they have a point. Maybe I am toxic. XD”

Precursor to the morgul blades!

Poor Elrond looks so dead when he finally uses the ring to save his friend. That heavy decision to risk corruption because his friend’s lives mean more than anything else.

Also, he must feel so much guilt “failing” Celebrimbor. He can’t fail Galadriel, not another friend. Not again.

Wonder if Galadriel’s wound will bother her like Frodo’s?

Poppy’s speech and the montage are so sad, but also uplifting in a strange way? I actually miss Bellows now.

Also, Isildur you just LEAVE THEM WITH KEMEN?!!!

SAURON TOOK FEANOR’S HAMMER. THAT LITTLE SHIT!

I love that Gandalf’s entire life purpose is finding Hobbits to adopt and then send them off on dangerous adventures where they prove to the world that they are the most hearty and bravest of folk in Middle-Earth.

Also, I would love it if Nori is the great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-ancestor of Pippin Took. XD

I got teary-eyed at Nori and Gandalf’s parting. I really love their relationship.

I don’t know why, but this version of Tom Bombadil, the one sung by Gandalf and Bombadil makes me want to cry.

Aw Durin’s first concern is Elrond and aiding him. They’re so in love.

How can DURIN not being DURIN’S preferred heir?! Like you don’t name a kid DURIN if you don’t want him to be king. -_-

“Pity. I’ve never known you to be such peaceable company. I was growing accustomed to it.” XD

RIVENDELL!!!!!

It’s both a tragic and a gift that the rings that Celebrimbor made himself allows Galadriel and Elrond to build Rivendell and Lothlorien and protect it from Sauron for so many years. I hope he takes that knowledge with him in the halls of Mandos. He may have helped create the seven and the nine, but they were corrupted because of Sauron. His own work was beautiful and allowed so many people to live in safety and peace in a world in the midst of a world war. And also saved Galadriel’s life in ROP. THAT is his true legacy.

[runin-reads]

Trans James Potter headcanons

This is just me brain dumping for my current prongsfoot WIP where James is a stealth trans guy and how this would affect the way he navigates relationships and his place in society. I try to base my writing on canon text so let me know if anything is inconsistent with the books

Not much would change. I see Sirius as someone who genuinely doesn’t care for a guys physical traits when it comes to falling in love. He’s perceptive and can see past a persons facade in seconds. He sees James as just another guy and falls for him because of his character— anatomy be damned. So wrt to their relationship they’d still be obsessed with each other and fit into that ‘two bodies one soul’ narrative

Nothing is off limits between them so I imagine Sirius would be very involved in James’ transition. He helps him do his T shots and he’s always the first person to notice and be told when James goes through a certain change

James would be the type to identify as a guy his entire life. It’s established in the books that his parents were very doting and wealthy, so even though they’re elderly I think they would accept James as their son and he’d have the support available to transition early on. James would be such a different person if his parents didn’t spoil him as a child, so I want to keep that aspect of his upbringing no matter what.

the way he would view his trans-ness would differ greatly from the current generation. I imagine there would be a huge dissonance between him and the label “trans” because he’s seen himself as a guy for as long as he can remember.

His idea of masculinity would be very hetero-normative given the time period he was raised in. His parents were happily married his entire life and I think their relationship would influence how he imagines his own future to be like. He wants to be a father to a child and a husband to a wife, and he subconsciously decides that that is the way a man should be.

In Snape's Worst Memory it’s implied that James cared a lot about what others think. While he and Sirius are antagonising Snape James kept looking back to see if the girls (namely Lily) were watching. I think being trans would only heighten this urge to be cool and popular. He’d love the attention he got from girls because it affirms his masculinity and he’d put a lot of effort into maintaining his image

I’ve already written about how prongsfoot (james/sirius) is queer coded. To add to that, there are two possible ways by which James deals with his not-so-platonic feelings for Sirius. One, he accepts these feelings much more easily than he would have in canon because he’s already trans so what’s a little more queerness. Two, he denies these feelings, preferring to stick to the hetero-normative standards set by his parents and society. (Both possibilities are based on my own experiences as a trans guy so trust me, trans people can still experience internalised homophobia)

On a more lighthearted note he’s the type of guy to try to put a permanent sticking charm on his packer/STP device lol. Key word: try. Sirius would talk him out of it but he would at some point find a way to use magic to keep his packer from falling out in the changing rooms etc.

His confidence would only grow once T starts taking effect on his body. He'd probably brag about his bottom growth to Sirius which, unbeknownst to James, ends up flustering Sirius a LOT

He doesn't bind because even though puberty blockers weren't used back in the 60s/70s, let's just say Monty and Effie found a magical alternative like a potion for example

idk if the wizarding world has its own equivalent of gender affirming care and I highly doubt JKR ever wrote about it, so I'll go off on a limb and say James uses both muggle and wizarding methods to transition depending on what's more convenient for the plot of my fic

NSFW

If j/s did fool around I think James would be pretty bossy in bed lmao and he'd be very adamant that Sirius should avoid 'female' terms for his body and stick to words like 'cock' or 'front hole'

It would take a long time for James to be open to intercourse so uh they'd get very creative in the meantime

not an expert on magic but James would definitely find a way to like charm his packer so that it gets erect and he can continue living in stealth.