#they will get together even if we have to wait a decade
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aithusarosekiller · 16 hours ago
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ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS INSANE JEGULUS AU IDEA
They meet in every life and love each other with their whole heart every time, they keep being reborn because their souls won't rest until they are able to live a long happy life and die together. But they can't do that until Tom Riddle -who is also being reborn repeatedly because his soul will not rest until he has found immortality and he cannot get that until Regulus stops trying to bloody kill him- is dead. James is completely unaware of the pattern and doesn't recall any of the past lives, he's constantly living in the dark, not knowing all the lives he's lived and all the time they'd spent loving and losing each other. Regulus remembers it all but it is in no way an advantage.
Because of the immortality thing, in every life he ends up being killed by Tom Riddle as he always ends up being a threat to Tom getting his immortality. In one life he's a king and Regulus is a jealous Lord in desire of his position. In another they are friends who are forced to fight to the death after being captured. Eventually Regulus notices the pattern and tries to purposefully kill Tom first or stay away from him entirely. Tom catches on too and begins to seek him out as quickly as possible. Tom starts becoming more obvious with his goal and Regulus decides that he'll stop him from becoming immortal no matter what it takes- especially if it means he gets to live a full life with James.
Then we reach canon, where Tom has had decades to search and wait for Regulus, allowing him to settle in and claim power before the threat arrives. Regulus is born unaware that Tom is already there, and so much stronger than him. He's so young that he assumes he won't meet Tom until much later. He has no idea Tom has assumed a new name. He loves James, then loses him for the cause. It's devastating but it's what be believes.
Until he starts to piece things together. Lord Voldemort starts talking about immortality and souls. And he starts to notice that something is wrong. He realises that he's been led into Tom's trap and Tom is closer to his goal this time than ever before. He uses Kreacher, locates the horcrux, and goes to the cave. He knows he will likely not get much further but he'll do anything to stop Tom from winning this eternal feud. He expects that he'll be personally hunted out and killed. What he did not take into account was that the inferi do not have their own souls or identities, they are full of his magic, which is a part of him, meaning Tom once again killed him before he could even leave the cave.
And when Harry kills Tom, the cycle only repeats in the next life.
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dr-spencer-reids-queen · 2 days ago
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I Just Wanted To Play
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader
Word Count: ~400
Warnings: implied smut
Summary: You and Spencer return from an afternoon of paintballing. Your mother is less than thrilled when she sees what he did to you.
Square Filled: "I just want to play." for @mfbingo
Author’s Note: any and all comments are greatly appreciated <3
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It’s a peaceful afternoon in the Y/N household. Your mom got up early and enjoyed her coffee on the wrap-around porch in the cool spring sun, she read every bit of the newspaper, and she even did a bit of the crossword puzzle that came with the paper. She’s retired so she doesn’t have any plans besides sitting at home, watching her shows, and enjoying time alone. You moved back in with her once rent got too high, but she loves having you back with her.
She’s at the kitchen island going through the many coupons that came in a booklet when the front door slams open. She jumps from the sudden noise but calms when she hears both your and Spencer’s voices.
She loves Spencer, don’t get her wrong. She loves that you love spending time with him. She doesn’t love what his job entails. You work in a corporate building as a social media manager. He works in the FBI with dangerous criminals. She admires what he does. She admires that he is able to bring down people who inflict harm on others, but she doesn’t want you around it.
She’d been around it since your father was in the FBI. He died on the job several decades ago, and now she hates you being around anything that involves danger. Still, she’s not going to tell you who you can and can’t hang out with, but she’ll definitely frown upon you dating Spencer or anyone else in the field.
You know she’s like this because she loves you. If you do end up dating someone in the field, you know she’ll eventually learn to accept it. Your mother looks up when you come storming into the kitchen covered in paintball splotches.
“How was paintballing?” she asks.
“Come on, it was a joke,” Spencer says, following after you.
Funnily enough, he doesn’t have as much paint on him as you do.
“I’m mad at you,” you glare.
“Why? I just wanted to play.”
“Because when we went paintball shooting, I said to avoid my face. What’s the first thing you do?” You pull your collar down to expose the purple splotch on your neck. “You shoot me in the fucking neck.”
“Spencer, you have to be careful with her,” your mom sighs. “She’s fragile.”
“Sorry. It won’t happen again.”
“Go take a shower before you repaint my entire kitchen.”
You wait until your mom has left before turning to Spencer with a mischievous grin.
“Do you think she bought it?”
“Yeah, it was convincing. I liked it.”
You grab Spencer’s shirt and pull him into you. He sides one hand into your hair, grips it, and tugs your head back to control the kiss.
“If you’re quiet, we can shower together so I can mark your pretty little neck up some more.”
You shove him away from you and run from him, giggling when you hear his footsteps coming after you.
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justwanderingtheblog · 18 hours ago
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A partial transcript for the video essay is below.
“Women on television have always been defined through their interactions with men. [....] However, the creators of XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS have managed to break through this cultural paradigm.
The character of Xena is a woman without male signifiers. The text of the show does not revolve in any way around Xena's interpersonal interactions with men. On the contrary, the show most directly revolves around Xena's interpersonal interaction with her traveling companion, Gabrielle. [....] They have come to define each other through their experience together. 
XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS is one of the few shows in the history of television that has gone an entire episode without having any starring or [major] supporting male actors.”
- Xena: Warrior Princess Through the Lenses of Feminism, Melissa Meister (1997) [Abridged]
In 2015, after many years of public speculation and fan campaigning, NBC Universal officially ordered a reboot of Xena: Warrior Princess. 
And helming the production, alongside the obligatory credits to originals Rob Tapert and Sam Raimi, would be writer and executive producer Javier Grillo-Marxuach (deadline.com). 
It is not currently 2015, and the project is no longer in the works, but some friends and I have still chosen to spend our time talking about it, as well as pitching a few ideas ourselves, even though we each have but one life on this good green earth.
As always, disclaimer - these are just our dumb opinions. Also, spoilers. 
The Mid-2000’s Xena Movie That Never Happened
When Xena: Warrior Princess ended its six-season run in the year 2001, it left a lot of fans desperate for more. Not just because the series was groundbreaking, or the fanbase was so passionate that it continued to hold official conventions every year, but because of the way it had ended. 
Namely, with the death of the title character in a two-part finale entitled A Friend in Need.
This was a decision that the production team defended as fitting for an Ancient Greek hero on the quest for redemption, and the finality of it seemingly satisfied the cast and crew after six exhausting, physically demanding seasons. Still, it’s also an ending that, in the years since, Lucy Lawless has stated she hugely regrets. (https://nypost.com/2001/06/28/we-have-no-apologies-for-xena-dying/) 
Instead, many fans prefer the light-hearted Many Happy Returns, or the alternate-universe exploring and timeline-resetting When Fates Collide, as their personal end to the series. 
On a side note, one of the main reasons I personally dislike A Friend in Need - aside from the unnecessarily brutal nature of Xena’s death - is that it just doesn’t make much sense to me. According to the plot of the episode, Xena needed to die and die permanently in order to save the trapped souls of several thousand villagers whose deaths she had semi-accidentally caused over a decade before. 
And you’re free to disagree, of course, but I don’t get it. It’s not my intent to appear callous here, it’s just, they were already dead. Could they not have waited another few decades for my girl to die of old age? The script could easily have been tweaked to demonstrate that the souls would be released someday anyway when Xena went peacefully in her bed at seventy. And the whole point of her redemption arc in the series was that it was only through her actions in life, not the event of her death, that could in any way make up for the damage she had caused as a young warlord.
[“The only thing she can do is just do good now, on a day to day basis. But she’s paying a debt she can never repay, and she’ll always be paying ten cents on the dollar.” - Tuentin Qarantino]
Death doesn’t fix that. 
Anyway, after the ending of Xena: Warrior Princess, it didn’t take long for official discussions of a follow-up movie to begin circulating. By 2003, writer Katherine Fugate - who had penned season six episode When Fates Collide - was signed on to the project, and Universal had granted a budget of around $50 to $60 million dollars, looking forward to a release within the next few years. This budget would at the time have put it in the general financial realm of movies like Kill Bill, Elektra, Hellboy, Reign of Fire, and V for Vendetta. For context, would have been well under the budget of The Mummy Returns but triple that of Hong Kong-based Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. 
We unfortunately have no existing copies of Katherine Fugate’s proposed script for this film, although it was later suggested that she intended for the story to take place in Egypt, where Gabrielle would have successfully completed the necessary resurrection for her and Xena’s adventures to continue. (https://twitter.com/DavesXenaFever/status/1593860122010300421) (https://i.reddit.com/r/xena/comments/q4yafk/got_the_xena_omnibus_nice_to_read_season_7_as/) 
Meaning that officially, canonically, Xena the warrior princess would no longer have been dead. 
Fugate is primarily a rom-com screenwriter, known for films like Valentine’s Day and New Year’s Eve, and there is a great breadth of opinion regarding her episode When Fates Collide, ranging from calling it a fan favorite to calling it glorified fanfiction. It features a lot of ‘greatest hits’ style character appearances, but the alternate universe nature of the plot also necessitates that our leads are intentionally out of character, meaning that we as audience members had never really seen how Fugate would handle them in canon.
Regardless, by around the year 2004, Lucy Lawless and Renee O’Connor were both signed on to the film, but in the background, a legal dispute was brewing between Rob Tapert and Universal regarding who owned the official rights to the character. The project slipped into development hell and has been there ever since. 
Katherine Fugate did make an appearance with at several Xena Conventions to discuss it, like in 2010 - and I’ve found footage from 2011 and 2012 where she performed, along with some other cast members, a skit about her attempted pitch to Rob Tapert. (https://ausxip.com/conventions/2012Burbank/sayyes.pdf) 
Yes, that is Farscape’s Claudia Black in Lawless’s role for the sketch, and I actually kind of love it. That show and her character on it were both criminally underrated. 
At the Xena Convention in 2015, Lucy Lawless, Renee O'Connor, and other cast members even enacted a short play written by Fugate for the fan audience, wherein Xena came back to life and found Gabrielle again, although there’s obviously no way of knowing how closely this matches what the final product of the film would have been a decade prior. 
But by this point, both Rob Tapert and Lucy Lawless had already been alluding for years that a reboot was much more likely than a continuation. It appeared that Universal was unlikely to move forward with the project any time within the next ten years, and no solid developments were announced until the reigns were officially handed over in 2015. (hercules-xena.fandom.com) 
The Screenwriter and the ‘Bury Your Gays’ Trope
Javier Grillo-Marxuach boasts writing and/or production credits on multiple series, such as the first (and best) seasons of Lost on ABC and the highly acclaimed Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance from Netflix. Most controversially, he also worked as a producer for The 100 on the CW, and wrote the season three episode where protagonist Clarke Griffin infamously watched her girlfriend Lexa get killed by a stray bullet, only a few short scenes after the two of them had finally managed to consummate their relationship for the very first time. 
And a lot of the direct blame for this was laid, perhaps unfairly, at the writer’s feet. 
But first, some historical context about why this was a thing. 
The year of Lexa’s death was 2016, a decade and a half since Xena: Warrior Princess had ended with the death of its own queer leading woman. It was also fourteen years after Tara was killed by a stray bullet on Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, slotting in to a century of LGBT+ characters being treated as expendable, as lamentable, or as depraved figures headed for an inescapably tragic end. 
And as we take a brief look into the history of this antediluvean convention, it’s important to remember that we’re not comparing numbers, we’re comparing percentages. You could take any piece of media facing allegations that it treats characters of a certain demographic as disposable and create a neat pie chart proving that an equal or greater number of deaths register among your fictional census majority. 
But the real question is this: How many queer characters existed to begin with? How many had leading, featured, or recurring roles? Because in this discussion, casualty numbers hardly matter when your casualty rate is fifty to a hundred percent. 
Anyway, this is often referred to as “Dead Lesbian Syndrome” or the “Bury Your Gays” trope, and if you want an in-depth look at this and how it has influenced LGBT storytelling in Hollywood, there are a lot of video essays by creators much more knowledgeable than myself on the topic. 
Suffice to say we can trace many of these issues directly back to early 1900’s moral panic and censorship, culminating in the Hays Code, a set of supposed “moral guidelines” which ruled the motion picture industry from 1934 to 1968 and did not allow for the portrayal of any supposedly “immoral” act without the application of an appropriate punishment by the film’s end. This made way for a flood of coded queer characters, either portrayed as tragic victims or as villains swiftly punished by death. These laws also forbade positive depictions of interracial relationships, disrespect of authority figures, villainous portrayals of the clergy, and favorable views of sex outside of marriage. 
Fast forward to today, and the TV Tropes page on the “Bury Your Gays” phenomenon has over a hundred entries 
Happily, portrayals of queer love on screen have only grown both more numerous and more nuanced, leading to discussions about whether intelligent, sensitive writing can allow certain on-screen queer deaths to transcend or subvert the trope. 
Yorkie and Kelly on Black Mirror as well as Bill and Frank in The Last of Us live long, beautiful, triumphant lives together, from a certain point of view. Could the same be said about someone like Dani, in The Haunting of Bly Manor? 
Or flipping to a completely different perspective, how do you classify the death of someone like Oberyn Martell, in the context of a show like Game of Thrones that was famous for killing off so many of its supporting and leading characters? 
Either way, successfully transcending this trope certainly seemed to be the unfulfilled hope of the writers and showrunners on The 100. (telltaletv.com) 
But instead, the episode - alongside the concurrent deaths of lesbian characters on other shows like Jane the Virgin and The Walking Dead - kickstarted a fury across the entire internet. 
And therefore when it was announced the very next year, in 2017, that Javier Grillo-Marxuach would be helming the new Xena: Warrior Princess reboot, which, to reiterate, had ended its original run in Xena’s own controversial death a decade and a half prior, fans, as I’m sure you can imagine, fucking lost it. 
The thing is, it’s important to note that the decision to kill off any major character does not always come down to the writer for that episode. These are often top-down decisions, and showrunner Jason Rothenburg, three weeks after the episode first aired, said in an open letter that, quote, "knowing everything I know now, Lexa’s death would have played out differently."
But despite this, it was the screenwriter for the episode who took a majority of the heat online - some of which included unnecessary personal attacks, like, it shouldn’t have to be said in the year of our Lord 2023, but don’t send people death threats - we don’t condone personal attacks against members of production, and neither should you.
And in a later series of interviews and posts on his personal Tumblr page, he addressed the controversy a number of times. 
Quote, “It was a really unfortunate confluence of creative decisions that had the wrong and most unintended impact, and that could have been avoided, but weren’t.” 
He would also elaborate, “My wife was actually producing a web series about the lives of trans and queer women in Los Angeles during the time I was writing on The 100, and I’m a friend of Amber Benson and — you know, she’s Tara Maclay, she’s the original shot by the stray bullet girl. It’s not as if I was not aware of the pitfalls of where we were going. You hope and pray that you can give a voice to the story that your showrunner wants to tell in a way that isn’t going to be injurious, and what you’re ultimately seeing is that a group of people who had the best narrative inventions created an outcome that sadly hurt a lot of people.”
And, “For me, personally, my response to this was to engage fully and to listen actively and to commit in a way that was respectful to the anger that was being expressed.” 
He went on to say that, as a member of a minority group himself, he understood the anger; that he had hope for better handling of such issues in the future; that he couldn’t apologize for what had been written without feeling that he was betraying the production and writing team, but that he also recognized his own social privilege even within his minority status as well as the power of his position in the industry, and that he was listening to fans about their opinions and experiences. (telltaletv.com) 
So. Did he seem compassionate, well-intentioned, and as though he was taking the issue seriously, and deserved the benefit of the doubt from fans? 
….Yeah! I think so. 
The Road to Rebooting Xena
The new showrunner had a lot to say going into the pre-production phase of the reboot. 
He had been a fan of genre television since the 90’s, enjoyed Xena, and was familiar with its fandom. When he heard that NBC was looking to do a reboot, he immediately asked his agents to get him in the room. In fact, he saw it as an opportunity to apologize for his role, active or not, in the death of Lexa’s character. 
After the last official Xena Convention, he even got in touch with a group of fans holding a retreat near LA, went out with them for a drink, and spent hours chatting about the show and its impact on their lives. He later claimed that the experience had really helped him in writing the script for the reboot, and in focusing on what important to people about the franchise. (telltaletv.com) 
He even promised that, under his hand, Xena’s relationship with Gabrielle wouldn’t be subtext, but main text. Quote, “There is no reason to bring back Xena if it is not there for the purpose of fully exploring a relationship that could only be shown subtextually in first-run syndication in the 1990s.”
And as for the tragic ending, he would say, “I am still working on the beginning of the story and am not sure how/where it will take us. But frankly, I think that if they should die, old age is the way to go.” (hollywoodreporter.com) 
Then, in an interview with Gizmodo, “A great deal of the appeal of the show lies in certain pulpy elements – like Gabrielle’s bare midriff, Xena’s leather miniskirt… And it’s hard for me in the post-Brienne of Tarth era to reconcile with the idea that Xena and her friends can meet every challenge in such skimpy outfits. I think we are going to have some very lengthy discussions about how to bring those elements into the present day without missing the boat on what makes Xena exactly what she is.”
I’ve talked at length about my many varied opinions on Xena’s costume - mostly that the corseting and low cut should be updated for comfort but that her outfit otherwise is of the same general shape and coverage as that of an ancient Greek hoplite - sans helmet and shield - and that the show was actually strides ahead for putting her in flat, sporty running shoes and building a comfortable boot with knee-pads around them. 
But no one needs to be fighting evil in a bikini, and extra protective garb for actresses and stuntwomen is something I will always advocate for, so this could only be a net gain. Besides, according to the same interview, the important elements wouldn’t change. 
Quote, “There are a few things that are sacrosanct: the Chakram and the quarterstaff, of course, Gabrielle’s ambition to become a bard, and—most importantly—that Xena and Gabrielle be soul mates.”  (https://gizmodo.com/) 
All in all, this left fans feeling more hopeful about the project. 
The Reboot is Canceled 
When in 2017 it was announced that the showrunner and the network had parted ways due to "insurmountable creative differences," the news was met with general disappointment. And while rumors swirled, it was made clear that disagreements over the Xena/Gabrielle relationship had not contributed to the reboot’s demise. (themarysue.com/javier-grillo-marxuach-leaves-xena-what-now/) 
NBC Entertainment president Jennifer Salke, interviewed in the same year, said, “We looked at some material; we decided at that point that it didn’t warrant the reboot. I’d never say never on that one because it’s such a beloved title, but the current incarnation of it is dead.” (hollywoodreporter.com) 
Just like Xena. 
The Lost First Season
I want to preface this section by saying that the writer seems like a very nice man with nothing but the best of intentions, and I wish him well both in his personal life and his professional career.
It’s important to understand and acknowledge that it is rarely a cut-and-dry affair to separate which elements of a script were mandated by studio involvement, and which were wholesale the creation of the screenwriter or other unnamed creatives potentially involved behind the scenes. 
I will also be making a genuine effort to separate my emotions regarding the concept of a story element being different from something in the original series, and the concept of that story element being inherently objectionable to me. All opinions to be stated here are highly subjective.
Content warning for discussion of sexual assault and child abuse. 
The Planned First Season of the Reboot The vibe of the reboot would have been somewhere between Gladiator and [Mad Max] Fury Road. The tone would have less slapstick action comedy, and instead present action scenes that were, quote, “pretty harrowing.” If there was humor, it would come from the dynamic between the two leads; Gabrielle as plucky and verbose, Xena as the “straight man” with no sense of humor.  Under the assumption that the original series had largely embraced “camp” out of necessity due to lack of budget, the new show would live in a more grounded world where the stakes felt high and the threat of violence was very real.   Xena and Gabrielle would also not have started out as a team in the first episode. Instead of a naïve farm girl, Gabrielle would begin the series as part of the nomadic Scythian tribe, because Scythians supposedly had a more liberal attitude toward women and a greater propensity for producing female warriors. Despite this, Gabrielle would still be a callow youth with dreams of being a bard.  Xena was to be an orphan who had been sold into slavery in childhood, fought her way out of servitude, and became a warlord. She views the world as a horrible pit of violence and betrayal and she has no faith in humanity.  Xena had been a solo warlord in the past, but now she was operating as a second in command. 
To avoid the hated concept of Xena having been “turned good” due to Hercules’ “sweet loving,” she would instead begin the series working alongside, and in a sexual relationship with, a villainous Hercules. He would be completing his mythical twelve labors, and while she was actually responsible for most of them, he was taking the credit. Hercules would now be closer to the Hercules of myth. (An asshole.)  But in the pilot episode, Hercules betrays Xena, puts her through the gauntlet, takes their army and leaves her for dead.
Gabrielle finds and nurses Xena back to health, all the while having no idea who Xena really is. In return, Xena trains Gabrielle as they head toward Athens, initially pretending altruistic motivations while using the opportunity to get herself back into fighting shape. Gabrielle is traveling because she wants to become a bard, and Xena just wants to murder Hercules in revenge.
Then we meet the Scythian king, who claims that Gabrielle is the exact spitting image of his daughter the princess.  He decides to marry Gabrielle off to the leader of a rival tribe, in order to create an alliance against a massive enemy army currently laying siege to the Scythian capital. 
Xena and Gabrielle part ways, until Xena discovers that the rampaging evil army is actually lead by Hercules. Hercules sacks the Scythian capital, murders its inhabitants, and takes Gabrielle as a hostage. This storyline would be one example of how the Xena reboot intended to take tropes from the original and play out their more realistic consequences.  At the Scythian king’s behest, Xena rounds up some soldiers and chases after Hercules’ army. This mission to rescue Gabrielle will end up turning her from evil to good and function as her first step toward redemption.
It would take about three episodes to reunite Xena and Gabrielle, at which point Gabrielle would be a bit brainwashed, and it would take another couple of episodes to acquire the services of a healer. In other words, it would take true time and effort to get Gabrielle to a place where she was really Gabrielle again. Overall, the format of the series would be less episodic and instead focus more on long-form storytelling. Xena’s quest to save Gabrielle would take up a good portion of the first season. The world would be realistic instead of campy, grounded instead of magical, and more feminist than the male gaze-y original. The phrase “more anti-male” was also used.  Returning characters may have included Callisto on the warpath, as well as Joxer and Autolycus as old soldiers who had once worked with Xena.  Xena and Gabrielle would fall in love in main text, not subtext. And neither of them would die an untimely death. 
Quote, “If this were a television show about a dude, the story would be about how this knight errant winds up going after a princess and rescuing her, and they fall in love. There was a time when […] I actually had Xena kiss Gabrielle at the end of the pilot, when she tries to rescue her before Hercules takes her away.  “Or Gabrielle kisses Xena because Xena has made her first real selfless gesture by coming back to rescue her.  “And the note [I received] was ‘well, that needs to be earned,’ and my note back was ‘hey, if this were a show about a dude, it would be considered earned by now.’  “So the real thing would be to have done a love story between two women over the course of 13 episodes, and then by the end of the 13 episodes, they would have finished this adventure, sort of walked off into the sunset, and it would have been open for more.” (www.tor.com) 
Once NBC had ultimately turned down the project, there were also brief discussions about the possibility of taking the reboot to a different platform.  Rather than Gladiator vs Mad Max, it would have been more akin to Star Wars: The Force Awakens. The story would include more supernatural elements and likely feature Xena fighting Jason and the Argonauts, who had recruited a villainous Hercules to their team. 
[FREE DISCUSSION]
[START NOTES FOR FREE DISCUSSION -
Xena's Backstory
Something that that has always been so rare and unique about Xena’s backstory as a female warrior is that, while she was born into a violent world, choosing a life of violence was something that she did of her own free will. 
There’s something so incredibly gender-neutral about her journey being spurred by Cortese’s attack on Amphipolis. This could easily have been the story of a man whose village was under threat, decided to fight back, saw some of his family killed, and ended up on the slippery slope to turning warlord. That was basically the plot of Robert Eggers’ The Northman. 
Fighting Cortese was arguably not even a necessary act in order to preserve her own life. I know that Xena’s continuity is non-existant, but in the season two episode Remember Nothing we see her in a what-if scenario where they never decided to fight back, and she’s still alive! So is her brother, and the attack didn’t kill her mother either. They bowed down to Cortese, gave him everything they had, and the implication is that at least some of them would still have survived. 
Xena chose to pick up that sword, because she’s the kind of character who always will. Because she will never sit there and do nothing while there’s potential action to be taken, and because - and here’s the really rare thing in a female hero especially - she kind of likes the violence. 
I know that a reboot is a reboot, and not everything can remain the same, but I also can’t help but feel that rooting Xena’s backstory in child slavery, it fundamentally changes who she is by entirely changing her early-life motivations for picking up that sword. 
Childhood Abuse Storyline
I absolutely believe the writer when he stated that he wanted to write a more feminist Xena story, and that because of this, I’m sure that in creating this new backstory for Xena - where she was a young slave in this world of high stakes and real violence - he did not in any way intend to imply that she had experienced sexual violence in childhood. I really want to stress that I am not trying to put words in anyone’s mouth here. 
As we discussed previously, it was specifically mentioned that Gladiator was a big tonal inspiration for the reboot, and that very much involves a male character who is pushed into gladiatorial slavery and tries to fight his way to a certain type of freedom. My assumption here would be that this is an attempt at an almost gender neutral backstory for Xena; following in the footsteps of Maximus and Spartacus and the classic story of a slave who physically fights their way out of oppression. 
It’s also worth mentioning that in ancient times, sexual abuse of slaves was certainly not limited to any one gender. 
But what I am saying is that, if one is not careful, writing a character as a young female slave within a purposely more realistic, more grounded world where the threat of violence is intended to feel real and present… because of certain social structures that have been present throughout history, because of assumptions that a modern audience is likely to make, and also because of the purposeful tonal references to Mad Max: Fury Road which uses sexual assault and sexual slavery as backstory for the majority of its female characters… a portion of the viewership would read any mention of a female character in slavery as implication that that character could have experienced sexual violence. 
And I think, because we’re here to ruminate not just about this specific reboot attempt but about why we love Xena and about what made that series so special for us and special as a tentpole of the female action genre, we need to talk about that.
To divorce it, again, from the specific context of this reboot, because, as I’ve covered, I’m sure it was not part of the writer’s intent, and instead now that the topic has been raised, discuss it just as a general trope of the genre, including how we feel about the trope in particular connection with Xena as a character and as a franchise. 
Sexual Assault on Female Action Heroes
One of the earliest big-screen female-lead superhero movies ever made was 1985’s Red Sonja, which is about a woman who, after rejecting an evil queen’s sexual advances, is assaulted and left for dead by a group of the queen’s soldiers, before being granted powerful combat skills by a nameless spirit in answer to her cry for revenge. One of the most recent big-screen female-lead superhero movies was 2021’s Black Widow, which follows a number of women who were raised from childhood in a brutal all-female elite spy program that included combat, seduction training, a forced hysterectomy and probably a fair amount of assault.  
The ‘Rape and Revenge’ and ‘Rape as Backstory’ pages on TVtropes have hundreds of entries. I’ve seen these general themes threaded into the stories of tough women on screen in The Last Kingdom and Outlander and Peaky Blinders and Spartacus and Gladiator and 300 Rise of an Empire and Tank Girl and The Witcher and Vikings and Westworld and The Boys. 
It’s not just in schlock like Sucker Punch and I Spit On Your Grave or whatever, it’s in prestige films and television shows, films and shows with characters that I love. It’s Game of Thrones, it’s Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, it’s Mad Max: Fury Road, it’s Jessica Jones, it’s The Killing Joke.  It’s in some of the most iconic female action stories of our lifetime, in Foxy Brown, in Kill Bill. It nearly fucking happens to Ripley in Alien 3 and in Terminator 2 one of the orderlies licks Sarah Connor’s face while she appears to be catatonic. Even when it’s not explicit, the threat and implication remains; there’s the dream sequence in Battlestar Galactica that actress Katee Sackhoff said was “written like a rape scene,” and then there’s whatever the fuck is going on with Princess Leia’s golden bikini in Return of the Jedi. In the early 1990’s, Mark Millar even wrote a 22-page comic script called “The Rape of Wonder Woman” and pitched it to DC as a joke, but DC apparently actually considered publishing it. 
Sexual assault, written delicately and meaningfully or otherwise, is a part of some male characters’ backstories in fiction, and there is a lot to talk about there too. It gets played for laughs far too often, but even beyond that - like, I mentioned Outlander before and there’s a lot of issues surrounding the series’ treatment of Jamie Frasier’s assault and the author’s enthusiasm in that area. 
Just percentage-wise on screen, though, assault is overwhelmingly a part of women’s stories. You can write a thermian argument, or push the merits of portraying the worst depths of human depravity on screen, or insist that its inclusion is realistic in a world where a thousand other things aren’t, but I’m sick of it. It’s old. It’s boring. It’s been done. I’m over seeing it included where it’s not necessary. 
And in retrospect? It may come down to the overall campy vibes and general themes of empowerment rather than realism, but whatever the reason, I am so, so grateful to Xena for keeping it mostly a non-element in the show, and especially for keeping it far away from Xena’s personal backstory. 
So I just hope when including this child slavery element in the reboot, the production would have been really clear with the audience that this wasn’t their intended implication, because I can see viewers mistakenly getting that impression. 
Xena's Martial Prowess
Also, it’s worth noting that while being possessed of great martial skill and supreme physical strength isn’t in all cases an unassailable defense against acts of unwanted sexual aggression, the other reason that assault wasn’t overly present in Xena: Warrior Princess is that she could kind of just rip a person’s head from their neck if she wanted to, and there was something incredibly refreshing about that. 
There are a few times when people on the show tried something on with her, and she punted them straight across the room. A quick little poke-poke and they were down for the count, and the extreme catharsis of watching that, of having watched that as a kid, just the relief in knowing that she could walk into all of the dark alleys you couldn’t and walk out again unscathed? Magical. 
Empowerment On Screen
This is off topic now, but it’s interesting, because I do think that this topic naturally engenders a very complicated discussion about what is empowerment, what is a feminist piece, what is a piece that promotes equality for a marginalized group.
And inevitably, there’s two sort of schools of thought, that I think should and do coexist to some extent, which are; 1) show an unflinchingly realistic take on extreme suffering in order to promote awareness and evoke sympathy, or, 2) create a fictional environment of strength and empowerment and joy and where the characters’ struggles lie elsewhere. 
I think we need both. There is room for Jessica Jones or I May Destroy You as well as Wonder Woman or Xena. Or for It’s A Sin to coexist with Our Flag Means Death and Paris is Burning and Queer Eye and Heartstopper. 
And finding which properties are which is really important. Jessica Jones was a really important show.  But Xena isn't and shouldn't be that.
There’s a lot of nuance when it comes to the things we portray on screen in the name of realism. Is the portrayal respectful or is shot in a manner that’s borderline pornographic? What traumatizing imagery or concepts are you potentially adding to the general cultural atmosphere? 
One of the best things about Xena was that she was so much larger than life, so much more powerful. Any episodes where the violence became graphic or felt particularly gendered actually were rare to the point that they really stuck out. 
Xena the Orphan
I liked Xena’s mom. I liked her relationship with her mom, I thought that was a really rare, cool thing to see on television, a daughter trying to come home after a life of violence to a mother who is ashamed of and also afraid of her, and it makes me sad to lose that dynamic. 
Xena as Second-in-Command
Would she do that? Did she ever, aside from sort of doing it with Borias? And even that didn't last long.
There’s an old essay with a quote I really like, it talks about how Xena was so rare in the 90’s because she wasn’t defined by her relationship with men. And in her own self-titled show, that’s broadly true. This is more parallel with her first appearance in Hercules, maybe, so deserves a little more leeway, but. 
If we want this to be more feminist, I feel like there’s an opportunity to start the show like season one episode one, without starting her off focused on her interpersonal relationship with a man and without putting one in a major supporting role that as the main villain would have him in a recurring appearance every episode.
Xena, Betrayed?
With that one random fiance, and with Caesar, she was very young. In the original show she was never "betrayed" by a love interest as an adult with a flourishing warlord career - that was only a thing of the distant past.
Darphus she never really trusted; she just thought he wouldn't dare make a move against her.
Are they making her more naive or gullible for the reboot?
- END NOTES FOR FREE DISCUSSION]
And anyway, in the autumn of 2018, the script for the proposed pilot episode of the scrapped reboot would leak online.
Episode One: Destroyer of Nations
My only comment before moving on to the live script reading is to remind viewers that all opinions to follow are subjective and we do not condone personal attacks against members of production. 
Also, again, warning for blunt discussion of sexual assault and child abuse. 
 [FREE DISCUSSION]
What We Would Want in a Reboot?
[FREE DISCUSSION]
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Custom concept artwork of Xena's costume for a revival series with the legacy actors © @benevolenterrancy .
The Canceled Xena Reboot | An Over-Analysis of the Leaked Pilot Script (1/2)
A video essay about the canceled Xena: Warrior Princess reboot and our dreams of a revival with the legacy actors.
youtube
0:00 - Intro
1:22 - Disclaimer & Title
3:48 - The Mid-00's Xena Movie That Never Happened
7:07 - The 'Bury Your Gays' Trope
16:32 - The Road to Rebooting Xena
20:03 - The Reboot is Canceled
20:48 - The Lost First Season
53:57 - Episode One: The Destroyer of Nations
1:45:22 - What Would We Want in a 'Reboot'?
2:01:35 - Credits
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looking-for-a-sword · 2 years ago
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If in ten years time I'm still on your mind Would you call and Say you want this? No matter where we are You still have my heart 'Cause I locked it And I promise You're the locksmith Locksmith by Sadie Jean
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vaguely-concerned · 3 months ago
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I was just ambushed within the turbulent halls of my own mind by some headcanons about rye ingellvar's childhood that did 15000000 points of psychic damage to me and my heart personally and also made me almost sure of how I want to play it all at the end (very very differently from how I imagined going in!). some 'oh holy fuck this changes everything' rocking my own world bullshit going on in my neurons right now I'm reeling
#I'm sorry to say that despite what I expected I think the dread wolf might be going down violently on my first run???#not because *I* love solas any less but because of who rye is and some of the twists I know happen down the line#which does make for a neat thing b/c I meant to play the crow I'm going with second as initially incredibly hostile#and then growing to feel for him and redeeming him at the end.#so if rye starts out very reasonable and sympathetic and then is brought to 'haha. no. fuck you forever for that in particular' at the end#...a pleasing cosmic symmetry in it I must admit. perfect and also makes me feel a bit sick#I'll try to put together something coherent eventually but for now#it's sort of a 'my name is ellaryen ingellvar you killed the guy#that my brain went 'close enough welcome back beloved and much missed deceased father figure' over. prepare to despair and die'#I think just the killing part might not have done it but everything that comes after? rye is a chill guy until he finally decides#that enough is fucking *enough*. and that was the most enough of all time for them#it also explains rye's accent (one of his primary caregivers growing up was a dwarf)! so many birds with one stone here#also I am so fucking sad now and I did it entirely to myself. I love fiction I love games (embarassingly genuine)#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#oc: ellaryen ingellvar#thank god that the romanced solas playthrough is the second one tho that does make things less dire haha#adaar would have given it the good old college try to get solas to change his mind right to the end I think#but even his capable hands and politician's mind could not hold back the sheer beware the fury of a patient man storm#that is about to hit solas for the shit he just pulled. I think rye and solas are -- as it turns out -- TOO alike in many ways#...solas buddy I'm so sorry I'll come back for you on the second playthrough and make it right I swear fhsak#it's just that a second dead dwarf dad has joined the chat to haunt the narrative (and this time it's fucking personal frfr)#it's almost scary how quick I've gotten attached to my rook tho. I've waited A DECADE to save this bald elf man from himself#and then rye shows up with steel in his normally kind eyes going 'no. I want that fucker *dead*'. and I just go anything for you babyboy#I'll see what we can do. unspeakable stuff
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starbuck · 4 months ago
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i offhandedly mentioned having seen a movie from the 2000s to my friend and she was genuinely flabbergasted because she thought i “only watched old movies”
#i was like GIRL THE SECOND TO LAST FILM I WATCHED WAS FROM *THIS YEAR*!!!!!!!!#she was SHOCKED#just for that i watched ANOTHER film from this year bc i MUST beat the allegations#i tried to explain The List to her and how i break it up by decade and have intentionally tried to diversity what i watch#and TO BE FAIR to me#the films i have shown her so far have been from the 90s 60s and 40s#which is a BIG range if i do say so myself#like. sorry we haven’t watched any current films together…#you literally LIVE in a building with a theater in it#FIGURE IT OUT#seriously tho i am so grateful to have someone who will watch films with me#i ordered Citizen Kane on Blu-ray so we can watch it together#bc she told this CRAZY story about her shitty ex#and in the back of my head i was like ‘you KNOW what this reminds me of…’#so i intentionally waited to offer to show it to her until we were past the breakup situation#but NOW i am hype#and she is hype#and to be fair that’s probably why she thinks i only watch old movies#but it’s not even old to me#like. if it has sound it’s not old…#i’m gonna have SO much fun in my intro to film history class if i get to take it#my goal is to have already seen every film they discuss in the class so that i can just chill out and enjoy it#the final project is comparing and contrasting two films of your choice and i’m still figuring out what i want to do#excited regardless tho#i’m taking it my last semester as a treat for finishing my degree <33
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sabertoothwalrus · 9 months ago
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I am being so serious when I say: if you have the financial and time privilege to get a group of friends together and make an indie project, PLEASE do. Indie games, indie animations, indie comics etc etc
the art industries are kind of in the shitter. It’s not so much because of AI (though that doesn’t help) but because studios just aren’t hiring people and funding projects anymore. People who’ve been in the industry for decades are finding themselves struggling, and once you have a mortgage or kids it’s harder to do something as risky as making something on your own.
completing projects is hard. it takes a lot of time and effort, and most people can’t afford it. so if you CAN afford to make art, even at the risk of no financial gain, I strongly encourage you to be as resilient as you can. We’re at a point where these industries are not going to turn around by themselves, and waiting for jobs to open up again in order to get experience and portfolio work might not be realistic.
people have been making art and telling stories longgggg before we were getting paid for it, and people aren’t going to stop just because no one has hired them to do so.
for everyone else: support indie artists when you can!!!! That person who made that cool indie game or youtube animation or webcomic might be doing this full time! your support might be the only reason they’re able to keep doing it.
and if you have already started an indie project: you’re so brave and I’m very proud of you!!! in fact, drop a link to it in the reblogs if you want! 👇
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salmoncakepls · 9 months ago
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...🦌?
#i also find performance in the show so interesting#the ppl sometimes misinterpret is what exactly performance is rather than seeing it as this range of xyz elements that go into it that may#still have a connection to your self they see it as this black and white framing to perform is not necessarily to lie but to lie is not#necessarily to perform#like we see louis' perform over and over and over and over again in different decades in different areas of his life and part of his story#is this lack of identity itself#hes so interesting bc of the layered up part of him like you see these layers (of self and performance--which can intertwine) and you come#closer and closer to it to find something even newer yeah so#its so obvious#w/ him how he cant tell that direct lie like...in past-in modern same-same and if he happens to tell a good lie best believe he believe it#to so its not technically a lie it is his own truth your own truth does not have to be factual but the sentiments still stands ala what JA#said soo i find it interesting performing together but the performance is not a lie but an exaggeration or a replication of the love itself#i still stand by my initial sentiment when theyre away a mile apart but together they are in each other and in each other (performance-love-#falling back into it etc etc etc) i find it interesting where A stands in this#because i learn more abt him sooo i was like with him with his statement 'never harmed you' not direct i believe not direct still if we're#going by this is your truth type thing and maybe convincing himself that this is his truth then it's yeah my interpretation is still in 'the#twins' type of look into them so the mirror mirror but the awareness is different (?) IDK guys i saw their lovestory its cute then they hit#u with the underlying horrors and boy do i love getting into it i just need to learn moree 77 years so much so much time vampires is cool#random thoughts#V#i cant wait to write my video essay give me the whole show noww if i messed up on this disregard or whatever armand says#talking myself through stuff i need to rewatch the episode in full
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solxamber · 3 months ago
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And I Pick...
In which you choose the club that caught your eye
Part 1
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After much contemplation you've finally decided to pick the:
Basketball Club
The basketball court was quiet for all of two seconds after you announced your decision.
Then Ace exploded.
"HA! I knew you’d pick us! I called it!" He was practically doing laps around the court, pointing at nothing in particular. "Ace Trappola: the ultimate recruiter, the club MVP, and now the guy who brought you on board! This is the best day of my life!"
"Eh, it’s about time," Floyd drawled, stretching lazily. "Took ya long enough to figure out where the fun is." His sharp-toothed grin widened. "Now we can play my version of full-contact basketball. Hehehe."
"Absolutely not," Jamil cut in, but Floyd wasn’t listening.
"Don’t worry," Floyd said, throwing an arm around your shoulders like you’d been lifelong teammates. "If you survive the first practice, you’ll survive all the practices. Probably."
Ace jogged back over, breathless but triumphant. "I told you we’re the best club! No boring rules, no endless laps like in Deuce's lame track team, and best of all—" He struck a dramatic pose, arms wide. "You get to hang out with me every day!"
"Please don’t make them quit on the first week," Jamil muttered, giving you a look that seemed to say, Are you sure about this?
"Quit? Nahhh!" Ace grinned. "They’re gonna thrive here. I’ll even teach them my signature moves—like my no-look, backwards, mid-air layup."
"You can’t even do that," Jamil said flatly.
"Not yet," Ace shot back. "But it’s the thought that counts."
Floyd leaned in closer, his grin somehow growing wider. "You better keep up, shrimpy. Otherwise, I might have to… spice things up a little."
"Spice things up?" you echoed, immediately suspicious.
"He means doing things like replacing the basketballs with watermelons," Jamil deadpanned.
Ace snorted. "Or throwing the ball at the hoop so hard it breaks the backboard. Oh wait, that actually happened. Twice."
"It was fun," Floyd said, completely unrepentant.
Jamil sighed like a man who’d aged a decade in the last five minutes. But then, to your surprise, he turned to you and offered a small, genuine smile. "Still… I’m glad you’re here. Welcome to the team."
The words were simple, but coming from Jamil, they felt like a warm endorsement.
Ace clapped his hands together, clearly ready to move things along. "Alright, enough talking! Let’s get you on the court and see what you’ve got!"
"Or we could start slow," Jamil suggested, but Ace was already dragging you toward the center of the court, Floyd trailing behind with a basketball under one arm.
"Don’t worry," Floyd said, tossing the ball up and catching it effortlessly. "If ya mess up, we’ll just laugh at ya a little. No big deal~."
"No one’s laughing at anyone," Jamil said firmly, already pinching the bridge of his nose.
Ace threw an arm around your shoulder, grinning from ear to ear. "Ignore him. We’re gonna have a blast! First practice starts now!"
You weren’t sure what you’d gotten yourself into, but judging by their enthusiasm (and Floyd’s maniacal laughter), you were in for one chaotic ride.
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Track and Field Club
The moment you declared your allegiance to the track and field club, Deuce’s face lit up like someone had just told him he passed his midterms.
“You’re… really joining?” he asked, like he needed double confirmation. When you nodded, his grin widened, the kind that made him look both relieved and excited. “That’s awesome! Uh—welcome to the team! Seriously, it’s great to have you.” His usual earnestness shone through, and he scratched the back of his neck. “I mean, I’m still kind of learning the ropes, but we can figure things out together. It’s gonna be great!”
Jack, standing beside him, gave a firm nod of approval. “Good call. Track and field’s a solid choice. You’ll fit right in.” His tail wagged just enough to betray how happy he was, even if his tone stayed calm.
"Yeah!" Deuce agreed. “And, uh, don’t worry about keeping up or anything. It’s all about improving at your own pace. Right, Jack?”
“Sure,” Jack replied, glancing at you. Then he added, almost casually, “We’ll work on your stamina. You’re gonna need it.”
It took you a second to catch the faint glint in his eye, and then you remembered—oh no, the fridge comment. Jack had been disturbed ever since.
Deuce, oblivious to the subtext, chimed in, “Yeah, Jack’s great at that stuff! He’s got this crazy endurance. Like, he can run forever. I’m still working on it, but, uh, you’re in good hands!”
Jack’s tail swished again. “Just be ready to push yourself. But don’t worry—we’ve got your back.”
“Exactly!” Deuce said, his fists clenching like he was ready to run a marathon right there. “This is gonna be awesome. I mean, not that it wasn’t already great, but now it’s even better. Right, Jack?”
Jack gave a small, satisfied smile. “Right.”
As they led you toward the field, you couldn’t help but wonder what you’d just signed up for. One thing was certain, though—Jack’s still thinking about that fridge, and he will make sure it’s not an issue anymore.
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Board Game Club
The moment you declared your allegiance to the board game club, Azul adjusted his glasses, looking smugly pleased with himself, like he'd just negotiated the deal of the century.
"An excellent decision," he said, his voice as smooth as the perfectly polished board games stacked behind him. "With your addition to our club, I foresee a new golden age of strategic victories."
Idia, sitting half-hidden behind a pile of unopened game boxes, choked on his energy drink. "W-Wait, you’re serious? They actually chose us?" His hair flared a brilliant shade of pink for a moment before he pulled his hoodie tighter around himself. "Th-this isn’t some prank, right? Like, I’m not gonna look up and see them bolting out the door laughing, right?"
"Nope," you replied with a grin. "I’m all in."
Ortho, ever the enthusiastic hype man, zipped into the room with his jet thrusters. "Welcome to the club! Now we have a full party for dungeon raids. This is amazing!"
Azul cleared his throat, waving a hand. "Ahem, while cooperative RPGs are certainly an option, I believe we should start with a game of strategy and wit to introduce them properly. Perhaps a round of Chess of Betrayal?"
Idia groaned, sinking further into his hoodie. "Ugh, that game takes, like, three hours. If you’re gonna scare them away, at least wait until they’re too deep in to quit. Why don’t we start with something easy, like Goblin King Gauntlet?"
Ortho clapped his hands. "Ooh, I love that one! It has a random trap mechanic! Let’s play that!"
Azul raised an eyebrow, his smile shark-like. "Trap mechanics are hardly a proper welcome. It would be far better to demonstrate the finer nuances of strategy, wouldn’t you agree?"
Idia muttered something about Azul turning everything into a power play, but you interrupted before they could spiral into a full-blown debate. "Honestly, I’m fine with anything. Just deal me in."
Azul’s smirk widened. "Very well, then. I shall prepare the game board. And don’t worry, I’ll make certain you’re fully equipped for our upcoming campaigns. You’ll find we offer more than just fun—we offer victory."
Idia peeked out from his hoodie, a small, hopeful smile creeping onto his face. "You’re not bad at this whole club thing. Maybe this won’t be so terrible."
As they started setting up the game, you felt an unexpected warmth. Sure, it was just a board game club, but there was something endearing about their chaotic enthusiasm.
Though one thing was clear—Azul would probably try to sell you game tokens at some point, and Idia would absolutely try to teach you how to min-max your dice rolls.
But hey, you were ready for it.
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Film Studies Club
When you announced your decision to join the film studies club, Vil paused mid-sip of his herbal tea, one elegantly arched eyebrow rising. For a moment, he looked like he was considering whether he had heard you correctly. Then, with a practiced air of nonchalance, he set the teacup down.
"Hm. Acceptable," he said coolly, though his tone betrayed a slight uptick of satisfaction. "It’s rare to find someone with enough taste to appreciate the art of cinema. I suppose your presence will be… useful."
But the slight curl of his lips gave him away.
He stood, brushing imaginary dust from his coat, and gave you an appraising look. "We have much to discuss. If you’re serious about this, you’ll need to commit entirely—no half-measures, no excuses. The camera is unforgiving, and I have no intention of allowing this club to falter under subpar contributions."
You opened your mouth to respond, but he was already pacing, gesturing dramatically like the star of an avant-garde production. "Lighting, blocking, composition—they are all integral to creating art, not merely entertainment. I trust you won’t embarrass yourself, or me, for that matter."
Despite his words, you caught the faintest hint of pride in his gaze as he turned to face you fully. "And, if for some reason, acting isn’t your strength, there are other roles. Cinematography, set design, editing… Perhaps backstage work would suit you, should you fail the audition."
He didn’t say it to be harsh; this was Vil’s version of encouragement. And as he continued outlining the club’s vision—"a modern renaissance in storytelling"—you realized he was genuinely excited to have you there, even if he’d rather gargle poison than openly admit it.
Finally, he stopped and gave you a small, approving nod. "Welcome to the film studies club. Don’t make me regret this."
Translation: I’m glad you’re here.
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Science Club
The moment you announced your decision to join the science club, Rook’s eyes lit up like you’d just declared him the ruler of the universe.
"Ah, mon ami! What a magnifique choice!" he exclaimed, sweeping you into a theatrical bow so deep you thought he might topple over. "You possess the soul of an explorer, a true seeker of knowledge! Together, we shall unlock the mysteries of nature and celebrate its beauty in all its forms!"
"Uh… don’t scare them off, Rook," Trey interjected, though he was smiling. He adjusted his apron, clearly relieved that you hadn’t bolted under Rook’s enthusiastic greeting. "We’re glad to have you. Really. It’s nice to have someone else around who won’t accidentally set the lab on fire."
You raised an eyebrow. "That’s a low bar."
Trey shrugged. "You’d be surprised how many fail to meet it."
Before you could respond, Rook was already spinning grand plans. "Imagine the adventures we will have! Scaling mountains, crafting elixirs, nurturing delicate blossoms—ah, the poetry of science!" He clasped his hands to his chest, radiating so much joy that you were worried he’d break into song.
Trey, ever the grounded one, sighed fondly. "What he means is: we do a little bit of everything. Growing plants, chemistry experiments, cooking—you’ll fit right in. Assuming Rook doesn’t scare you off first."
Rook turned to Trey with an exaggerated gasp, as if the very suggestion of him being overwhelming was the greatest insult he’d ever received. "Chevalier des Roses, how could you wound me so?" He turned back to you with a theatrical flourish. "Fear not! I shall be your guide, your companion, your—"
"Assistant," Trey cut in, giving you a knowing look. "We'll assist you. Don’t let him take over your projects."
You grinned, feeling oddly at home already. Between Rook’s boundless enthusiasm and Trey’s steadying presence, you realized the science club might just be the perfect balance of chaos and calm.
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Pop Music Club
When you announced your decision to join the Pop Music Club, Lilia was the first to react. He shot up from his chair with a dramatic flourish, his cape—where did the cape come from?—billowing as if on cue.
"Ah, an excellent choice! Welcome to the most electrifying club in the entire school!" Lilia declared, his voice reverberating like an arena announcer. He played an imaginary riff on an air guitar, complete with sound effects that you were almost certain were magically amplified.
Kalim clapped his hands, beaming as brightly as the sun. "This is going to be so much fun! We can sing duets, make up dances, throw a party for every new song we write—oh! We should have a welcome party for you right now!" He was already halfway to grabbing balloons out of thin air before Cater stopped him.
"Easy there, Kalim," Cater said with a laugh, pulling out his phone to snap a picture. "We haven’t even started jamming yet! Gotta document this first—‘New Member Alert 🚨🎶! Welcome to the coolest club at NRC!’” He posed next to you, flipping through filters. "Ooh, should we do a pastel vibe or go all-out neon?"
"Why not both?" Lilia suggested, somehow holding a tambourine he hadn’t been holding two seconds ago. He shook it with gusto, the jingles creating an impromptu beat.
Kalim joined in instantly, dancing around the room with energy that could probably power a small city. "This is going to be amazing! Do you play any instruments? Can you sing? Or maybe you’ll write the songs? Wait, can you do all three?!"
Before you could answer, Lilia leaned in with a conspiratorial grin. "Don’t worry, even if you’re terrible, I can teach you. After all, I’ve had centuries of experience."
"Centuries of experience at what exactly?" you asked, though you weren’t entirely sure you wanted the answer.
"Everything," Lilia replied cryptically, shaking the tambourine once more for emphasis.
Cater gave you a wink. "Don’t let him intimidate you. He’s mostly harmless. Mostly."
As the chaos swirled around you, you realized joining the Pop Music Club was probably going to be as much about managing everyone’s energy as it was about making music.
But looking at their genuine excitement, you couldn’t help but feel you’d made the right choice. It was going to be loud, unpredictable, and—most importantly—a lot of fun.
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Equestrian Club
When you chose the Equestrian Club, Riddle’s reaction was immediate and deeply Riddle. He straightened his posture, cleared his throat, and gave you a small but dignified nod, though his ears turned the faintest shade of pink.
“A wise decision,” he said primly, but his voice wavered just enough to give away his excitement. “The Equestrian Club values discipline and care, and I trust you will uphold those values. Welcome.” He paused, then added with uncharacteristic softness, “I’m glad you chose us.”
Sebek, on the other hand, reacted with his usual intensity, which was to say, very loudly.
“AS EXPECTED OF SOMEONE WITH DISCERNING TASTE!” Sebek bellowed, saluting for no discernible reason. “THE EQUESTRIAN CLUB IS A PLACE OF HONOR AND DILIGENCE. YOU HAVE MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE, AND I, SEBEK ZIGVOLT, SHALL PERSONALLY ENSURE YOU MEET OUR HIGH STANDARDS!”
“You’re going to scare the horses,” Silver muttered, patting a dozing mare who didn’t even flinch at Sebek’s volume. Clearly, she’d built up an immunity.
Silver turned to you with a sleepy but genuine smile. “Welcome. It’ll be nice having another person around who actually seems calm. I’ll show you the best places to ride, and we’ll make sure you’re comfortable with the horses.”
“And with the rules,” Riddle interjected, already retrieving a stack of laminated pages. “Equestrian care is not something to take lightly. You’ll need to memorize these guidelines to ensure both your safety and that of the horses.”
Sebek leaned over your shoulder to inspect the stack and immediately saluted again. “AN EXCELLENT INITIATIVE, HOUSEWARDEN ROSEHEARTS! I, TOO, WILL MEMORIZE THESE IN CASE THEY EVER REQUIRE REINFORCEMENT!”
“I think they’re fine,” Silver said. “We don’t need to make this harder than it needs to be.”
Riddle frowned. “Standards exist for a reason, Silver. Though I appreciate your enthusiasm, perhaps we can—Sebek, stop shouting—perhaps we can go over the basics first before overwhelming them.”
As Riddle and Sebek debated, Silver handed you a carrot to feed one of the horses. “Don’t worry,” he said, as the horse happily munched away. “It’s not as intense as it seems. Usually.”
You glanced at the stack of rules in Riddle’s hand and the fervent look in Sebek’s eyes. It was definitely going to be an adjustment. But seeing how genuinely happy they all were to have you—yes, even Sebek—you felt like this would be worth it.
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Magift Club
When you announced your decision to join the Magift Club as their manager, the reaction was instantaneous and… surprisingly chaotic.
Ruggie let out a whoop, immediately dropping to the floor in a mock bow. "Ayo, everyone, bow to the boss! Finally, someone who can keep this circus in line!"
Leona, lounging on the sidelines, cracked open an eye and smirked. “’Bout time. Herbivores usually flake out, but I knew you were better than the rest.” He stretched lazily, like he’d personally orchestrated your decision. “Just keep the snacks coming, and we’ll get along fine.”
Epel looked between them and grinned, his enthusiasm much more grounded. “It’s great to have ya! With you around, maybe Leona will actually show up to warmups... or not just sleep through it.” He shot a pointed glance at their captain, who was, of course, ignoring him entirely.
“Eh,” Leona drawled, flicking his tail dismissively.
“You could work on that attitude,” you muttered, earning a low chuckle from him.
“See, I told you they’d fit right in!” Ruggie said, gesturing at you dramatically. “They’re already roasting him. This is gonna be great!”
Epel, suddenly inspired, added, “And they’ll keep Ruggie from stealing the fresh apple juice we get after games. That’s worth it alone.”
As the reality of your new role settled in, you felt a bit like a lion tamer walking into a den of mischievous cubs and one very lazy big cat. But their enthusiasm—expressed in their own peculiar ways—was endearing.
Ruggie threw an arm around your shoulder. “Alright, boss, first order of business: snacks! Let’s discuss our game day budget and whether I can convince you to sneak me a sandwich before practice.”
Leona snorted but didn’t argue, which you took as a sign of approval. Epel pumped his fist. “We’re gonna crush it this year!”
Maybe managing this bunch wouldn’t be so bad after all. If nothing else, it’d definitely be entertaining.
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Mountain Lovers Club
When you joined Jade for a hike to "test the waters" of the Mountain Lovers Club, you had your doubts. You were prepared for a lot of things—maybe getting lost in the wilderness, maybe Jade pulling out his eerie cryptid knowledge, or maybe just a weirdly formal lecture about moss. What you weren’t prepared for was… actually enjoying yourself.
Jade led the way with an unhurried confidence, pointing out various wild plants, their uses, and fun facts about the environment. He wasn’t his usual enigmatic self, either. He seemed lighter, almost enthusiastic, as he described a tiny wildflower you would’ve missed entirely.
“This particular species only blooms during the autumn months,” he said, crouching to show you. “Quite fascinating how it adapts to the cooler temperatures, don’t you think?”
You nodded, trying not to stare too hard at how his face lit up when he spoke. Jade was… cute? When he wasn’t talking about mushrooms in a way that made you question your mortality, he was actually kind of charming.
By the time you reached a rocky outcrop with a gorgeous view of the campus, you realized you’d been smiling for most of the hike. Jade noticed too.
“It seems I’ve made a decent impression,” he said, turning toward you with a soft grin. “I’m pleased to see you enjoying yourself.”
“It’s… relaxing,” you admitted, surprising even yourself. “I didn’t think it’d be this fun.”
Jade tilted his head. “Does that mean you’d consider joining the Mountain Lovers Club?”
You hesitated for a moment, but as you looked at the breathtaking view and the rare, genuine smile on his face, the answer came easily. “Yeah. I’ll join.”
For a split second, Jade’s eyes widened in surprise, but he quickly schooled his expression into his usual composed smile. “Wonderful. I must say, I wasn’t expecting this outcome, but I’m glad. It’s not every day someone sees the beauty in what I love.”
There was an odd warmth in his voice that made your heart skip a beat. As he turned to lead the way back, he added, “Now that we’re a team, I look forward to our next adventure.”
Jade Leech was genuinely happy. And, you realized, so were you.
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Gargoyle Research Society
When you told Malleus you were joining the Gargoyle Research Society, his reaction was almost imperceptible at first. A slight widening of his eyes, a pause as though he was waiting to see if you were serious, and then—pure, unfiltered delight.
"You have an interest in gargoyles?" he asked, his voice both surprised and reverent, as if you'd just confessed to enjoying a rare and ancient art form.
You nodded. "Yeah. I think they're fascinating. The designs, the history… They’re like stone guardians with stories etched into them."
For a moment, Malleus simply looked at you, his emerald eyes shimmering like the light of distant stars. Then, as if unable to contain his joy, he smiled—a soft, genuine expression that sent a wave of warmth through the chilly Ramshackle evening.
"This pleases me greatly," he said, his tone unusually light. “Not many share my appreciation for gargoyles. Often, I speak of them, and others… how do I put it? Pretend to listen.”
“Well, I’m definitely not pretending,” you said, grinning. “I���m in for real.”
Malleus clasped his hands together in what could only be described as regal excitement. "Then I must share something with you. Sometimes, I create gargoyles myself."
“You what?” you asked, laughing in delight.
“Yes,” he replied earnestly, his eyes alight. “Carving stone requires patience, but there is a certain satisfaction in breathing life into something lifeless. Well, not literal life, of course, but a soul of sorts.”
You couldn’t help but laugh again, the image of Malleus with a chisel and hammer popping into your head. “I never would have guessed. That’s… really cool.”
“I can show you some of my creations, if you’d like,” he offered, almost shyly.
“I’d love that,” you said, genuinely glad to have joined him. “I think I’m going to enjoy this club.”
The glow in his expression was impossible to miss. It wasn’t just that you had joined his club—it was that, for once, someone truly shared his passion. “And I am glad to have you,” he said softly.
In that moment, under the watchful eyes of the stone guardians scattered around campus, it felt like you had chosen exactly the right place.
Masterlist
tags: @techno-danger
a/n: it completely slipped my mind that ortho is a part of film studies sorry :(
3K notes · View notes
pucksandpower · 7 months ago
Text
To Have a Heart
CEO!Max Verstappen x single mother!Reader
Summary: Max is a titan of industry, used to making grown men cry with one glance … then you and your daughter turn his carefully controlled life upside down
Warnings: descriptions of pediatric cancer
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Max strides into his corner office, his Italian leather shoes clicking sharply on the marble floors. The floor-to-ceiling windows offer a breathtaking view of the Manhattan skyline, but he pays it no mind as he makes his way to the large mahogany desk.
His assistant, Clara, follows a few steps behind, her heels clacking nervously. “Sir, Mr. Henderson is waiting in the conference room per your request.”
Max doesn’t bother responding as he unbuttons his suit jacket and takes a seat behind the desk. With a flick of his wrist, he motions for Clara to leave. She gives the tiniest of nods and scurries out, closing the double doors behind her.
Taking a deep breath, Max presses the intercom button. “Send him in.”
A moment later, the doors reopen and a balding, paunchy man in an ill-fitting suit enters. Even from across the room, Max can see the bead of sweat rolling down the man’s forehead.
Good.
He should be nervous.
“Mr. Henderson.” Max says, his tone clipped. “Do you know why I called you here?”
The man — Henderson — fidgets with his tie. “Y-Yes, sir. The, uh, the Brighton acquisition ...”
“The $3.75 billion deal that was supposed to be finalized yesterday.” Max interjects, leaning back in his chair. “A deal that the company has been meticulously negotiating for over six months. A deal that would have been the largest hostile takeover in our firm’s history.”
Henderson gives a somber nod, his Adam’s apple bobbing. Max fights the urge to roll his eyes at the sad display.
“Because of your incompetence, that deal is now in jeopardy.” Max continues, his voice dropping to a menacing register. “Please explain to me how someone with three decades of accounting experience could possibly make the amateur mistake of misplacing a decimal point on the binding purchase agreement?”
“I … I missed it in the final review.” Henderson stammers out, sweat now visibly staining the armpits of his shirt. “The numbers, they all start to blur together after-”
“Do not insult my intelligence with your pitiful excuses.” Max cuts him off, slamming a fist down on the desk. He takes no small amount of satisfaction in the way the man flinches. “Because of your idiocy, we offered $235 million over the agreed purchase price. An overpayment to the tune of $2.5 billion with a ‘B’!”
Henderson seems to shrink into himself with each biting word. “I’m so sorry, Mr. Verstappen. It won’t happen again, I swear-”
“You’re damn right it won’t happen again.” Max growls, rising from his chair so quickly that it goes clattering backwards. He leans across the desk, getting directly in Henderson’s ashen face. “Because you’re fired. Effective immediately.”
The words seem to take a moment to register in Henderson’s mind. When they do, his eyes widen in panic and he starts shaking his head rapidly.
“No, no, please! You can’t fire me!” he cries, any veneer of professionalism crumbling. “I-I’ll work double shifts, triple shifts! I’ll volunteer for all the weekend audits, no overtime pay! J-Just don’t fire me, I’m begging you!”
Max recoils slightly at the outburst of blubbering, his lip curling in disgust. How pathetic, to see a grown man so thoroughly debased. He almost feels pity for the wretch … almost.
“This conversation is over.” Max says, his tone resolute as he straightens his tie. “You have one hour to collect your things and get out of my building. After that, security will escort you out.”
“B-But I have three kids!” Henderson sputters, tears streaming down his face now. “A mortgage. Alimony payments! You can’t just-”
In a burst of rage, Max sweeps his arm across the desk, sending papers, files, and office supplies clattering to the floor in a violent clutter.
“I am Max Verstappen!” He bellows, his face flushed crimson. “I do not make empty threats, Mr. Henderson. You are a miserable, costly disappointment. A failure. And I will not allow failures to remain under my employ.”
The words seem to drain what little fight was left in Henderson. His shoulders slump in defeat, and he lets out a pitiful whimper. Max feels his anger deflate, replaced with a tired disdain.
“One hour.” he repeats, falling back into his chair in exhaustion. “Get out of my sight.”
Henderson doesn’t need to be told twice. With trembling hands, he begins collecting the various objects scattered across the floor — pencils, paperclips, manila folders now slightly crumpled. His motions are slow, pained, like those of a man having just received a terminal diagnosis.
Max watches impassively as the sniveling accountant gathers his belongings. Part of him feels a twinge of … not quite guilt, but maybe the faintest pangs of empathy for the broken man before him. He quickly smothers that flicker of sympathy. This is the cost of doing business in the world of high-stakes acquisitions and mergers. There is no room for weakness or mistakes. Only results matter.
Finally, with his meager pile of office supplies clutched to his chest, Henderson straightens up. His face is blotchy and tear-stained, but he seems to have regained some small scrap of dignity. He meets Max’s cold stare for just a moment before turning on his heel and shuffling out of the office.
The double doors close behind him with a hollow thud that hangs in the air. Max lets out a slow exhale, suddenly aware of the tension that had been coiling inside him. He runs a hand over his face, then taps a button on his phone intercom.
“Clara, get me William Evans from legal on the line immediately.” he says, his voice steady once more. “We need to do damage control on the Brighton situation before it becomes irreparable.”
“Right away, sir.” comes the reply, his assistant’s voice tightly professional.
Max leans back in his chair, steepling his fingers as he stares out at the New York City skyline. This is far from the first firing he has issued, and it certainly won’t be the last. He is a great white shark, always needing to move forward or else he will drown in the depths of his own ambition.
There is a soft rap at the door, pulling Max from his reverie.
“Come in.” he calls out. Clara enters, her face schooled into a mask of polite disinterest. So much the better — he respects discretion.
“I have Mr. Evans on line two for you.” she says crisply.
Max gives a succinct nod. “Thank you, Clara. That will be all.”
As his assistant withdraws, Max takes a fortifying breath. He is Max Verstappen. He is the master of the corporate ocean. And he will not allow one flailing failure to capsize his empire.
Squaring his shoulders, he picks up the phone and begins issuing a stern series of orders and demands. After all, there is little time for rest when one aims to be a modern day titan of industry.
***
You take a deep breath and rap firmly on the door to the HR director’s office. “Come in.” a flat voice calls out.
Steeling yourself, you twist the handle and step inside the dingy, fluorescent-lit room. Janet, the red-haired HR manager, looks up from her computer with a practiced smile that doesn’t reach her eyes.
“Ah, Y/N. What can I do for you today?” She asks in an overly saccharine tone.
You take a seat across from her cluttered desk, your knee bouncing with nervous energy. “I … I need to request some personal leave. Family medical reasons.”
Janet’s perfectly penciled eyebrows rise in bland surprise. “I see. And how much time were you hoping to take?”
Your throat tightens as you force out the words. “At least a month. Maybe more, depending on … on how things progress.”
The HR manager clucks her tongue as she shakes her head. “I’m afraid that won’t be possible. We’re in our busiest quarter and you know the company policy — no extended leave during crunch periods unless it’s a valid health emergency.”
You feel panic fluttering in your chest. This has to be a valid emergency! “But it is an emergency! My daughter, she’s ...” Your voice cracks and you swallow hard, desperate to maintain your composure. “She’s very sick, potentially terminal. I need to be with her right now.”
Janet’s face remains stubbornly impassive. “I’m sorry to hear about your daughter’s illness. Truly, I am. But unless you can provide official documentation from a medical professional, my hands are tied.”
The words hit you like a slap across the face. Of course they would require documentation to approve leave — it’s standard corporate policy. But how can mentally collect yourself to get paperwork in order when you’ve been spending every waking moment by your little girl’s hospital bedside?
Unbidden, your mind flashes back to two nights ago, watching in helpless terror as your daughter’s tiny body was racked with another severe seizure. You had screamed yourself hoarse calling for the nurses as the meds they pumped into her did little to stop the violent convulsions ...
You’re vaguely aware of Janet still speaking across from you, something about company guidelines and productivity expectations. But the words sound muffled and far away, as if you’re underwater.
How naive you were to think they might bend the rules, just this once. To think the faceless corporation you pour your life into might actually show a shred of human compassion during your hour of desperate need.
No. That’s not how companies like this operate.
They don’t care about you or your daughter’s life. All they care about is the bottom line, and you’re just an expendable number in their organizational flowchart.
You’re jolted back to reality as Janet raps her lacquered nails impatiently on the desk. “Well? Is there anything else or can I get back to work?”
Is there anything else? Oh, there’s so much more you want to scream at this unfeeling paper-pusher. You want to cry and rage and beg her to just show an ounce of basic human decency.
But you know it would be pointless. Janet is just a cog, same as you. There’s only one person here with the power and influence to authorize what you need.
Only one person who strikes abject terror into the heart of every employee with his infamous volcanic temper and uncompromising expectations.
The thought makes your stomach twist into knots, but you know what you have to do. For your little girl’s sake, you have to try.
So you rise from the chair, willing your legs not to shake. “Thank you for your time.” you mutter tightly, already turning on your heel and storming out of the office.
You don’t look back as Janet calls out something about proper procedure. You just keep moving, your footsteps fueled by a mother’s desperation.
The elevator seems to take an eternity, each second feeling like a little bit more of your daughter’s life trickling away. By the time the doors finally open with a mocking ding, you’re practically vibrating with pent-up nervous energy.
As the mirrored box ascends, your heart feels like it’s trying to batter its way out of your chest. You can hardly breathe past the constriction in your lungs. What if the infamous Max Verstappen laughs in your face? Or has you fired on the spot for daring to interrupt his billion-dollar dealings?
No, you can’t afford to think like that. This may be your only chance to get the time off you so desperately need. For your daughter’s sake, you have to be brave.
The elevator seems to crawl upward at a glacial pace. By the time the doors finally part with a soft chime, you feel like you’re going to be sick from anxiety. This is it, the executive floor — the lair of the terrifying Max Verstappen himself.
You step out into the plush, mahogany-accented lobby with shaking legs. Behind a curved desk, Max’s assistant Clara looks up, her expression instantly hardening when she recognizes you as some inconsequential employee.
“I’m sorry, but Mr. Verstappen is not accepting any visitors at the moment.” she says, her tone brooking no argument. “If you’d like to schedule an appointment for next week ...”
“Please.” you blurt out, hating how your voice trembles. “It’s an emergency. I … I need to see him. Just for five minutes.”
Clara’s manicured eyebrow arches skeptically. “I extremely doubt Mr. Verstappen would consider your issue important enough to warrant an unscheduled meeting. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a million things to-”
“It’s about my sick daughter!” The words burst from your lips before you can stop them. Immediately, you regret being so unprofessional, but desperation has eroded your self-control.
For a split second, Clara’s expression flickers with something that might be pity. But it’s quickly subsumed by her usual cool mask of professionalism as she shakes her head.
“I’m very sorry to hear about your daughter’s illness. But those are still not grounds for me to disturb Mr. Verstappen while he’s-”
“Please!” You plead, tears of frustration pricking your eyes. “I’m begging you. This could be my last chance! If he says no, I’ll leave, I promise. But I have to try!”
Clara regards you appraisingly for a long moment. Then, letting out a weary sigh, she presses the intercom button. “Sir? There’s someone here requesting an urgent meeting with you. A … personal matter.”
The line crackles with static for several tense seconds. You hold your breath, praying beyond hope that the infamous Max has a rare charitable impulse today.
Then, his unmistakable baritone growls through the small speaker. “This had better be good. Send them in.”
Clara winces almost imperceptibly before gesturing towards the double oak doors to Max’s corner office. “Good luck.” she murmurs.
You don’t need any further prompting. Drawing a shuddering breath, you straighten your spine and make your way to the doors. You pause just briefly, hands trembling, before rapping your knuckles firmly against the lacquered wood.
There’s no going back now. Either Max Verstappen is about to grant you a miracle … or utterly crush your last, fragile hope.
***
Max scowls as the intercom crackles to life, Clara’s hesitant voice filtering through the speaker. “Sir? There’s someone here requesting an urgent meeting with you. A … personal matter.”
He resists the urge to roll his eyes. Surely whatever this is can wait until tomorrow. Max is elbow-deep in paperwork and holding patterns, trying to do damage control on the Brighton acquisition fumble. He has no time for frivolous “personal” disruptions.
“This had better be good.” he growls into the intercom. “Send them in.”
With an irritated huff, Max leans back in his buttery leather chair as the doors to his office swing open. He’s already opening his mouth to berate whoever dares disturb him over something as trivial as a “personal matter.”
Then you tentatively step into the room and Max’s words die in his throat.
Even with your shoulders hunched inward and your makeup smudged from crying, you are utterly breathtaking. A fragile beauty drowning in an oversized blazer, your wide eyes darting around his opulent office with obvious intimidation.
An unwelcome jolt of attraction lances through Max’s chest and he quickly squashes it down. He cannot afford such distractions, especially from a lowly employee like yourself who should know better than to interrupt him during work hours.
“Well?” He finally finds his voice, aiming for a brusque tone to remind you both of your respective places. “You’re hardly someone important enough to be granted an audience. This had better be worth my time.”
The harshness of his words seems to make you flinch. You worry your lip between your teeth, shrinking back slightly.
“I … I’m so sorry to disturb you, Mr. Verstappen.” you begin haltingly. Already Max can feel his patience waning. He hates fumbling fragility and wants only confident decisiveness.
But then your next words come tumbling out in a desperate rush. “It’s about my daughter, sir. My little girl … she’s in the hospital. She has a brain tumor and her condition is deteriorating rapidly. I asked Janet in HR for some personal leave to be with her, but she denied my request and said I need official medical documentation which could take days I don’t have!”
Tears are welling in your eyes now, your voice rising to nearly hysterical levels. “Please, Mr. Verstappen! She’s only three years old and I’m a single mom. I’m all she has right now! I’m begging you … please just give me some time to be with her before … before ...”
You seem unable to voice whatever terrifying possibility lurks in the back of your mind. Instead, you dissolve into shoulder-shaking sobs, burying your face in your hands as you break down completely.
Max feels his earlier irritation softening in spite of himself. He’s seen grown men thrice your age become blubbering messes under his withering glare. But there’s something distinctly vulnerable and gut-wrenching about your anguished tears.
Part of him recognizes this as a prime opportunity to regain control, to berate you for such an unseemly display of emotion. His reputation as a merciless taskmaster practically demands he put you in your place.
But another part of Max … a part he barely recognizes … feels a rare pang of empathy pierce through his calloused exterior.
Perhaps it’s the thought of a scared little girl lying crippled in a hospital bed, scared and missing her mother. Or perhaps it’s the way you wear your devastation so plainly, managing to humanize yourself in a way most people never achieve in his eyes.
Whatever the reason, when Max finally speaks, his tone has lost its earlier bite.
“I did not realize the full severity of the situation.” he says, slowly rising from his chair. He moves around the desk, not missing the way you tense as he approaches.
Up close, he can see the puffy redness rimming your eyes, the despair etched into every line of your face. It stirs something inside him … an ancient ghost of an emotion he can’t quite place.
“I’m sorry you were dismissed so carelessly by HR.” Max continues, struggling to keep his voice even. “Perhaps if you had led with mentioning your daughter’s condition, instead of being so oblique ...”
He trails off as you sniff loudly, dragging the sleeve of your blazer across your nose. The motion is equal parts endearing and mortifying for him to witness.
“Here.” he says impulsively, plucking a crisp linen handkerchief from his suit pocket. He presses it into your hand, watching as you blink owlishly at the unexpected gesture. “Allow me to make things right.”
Without waiting for a response, Max turns and strides over to his desk. He snatches up the phone and rapidly punches in a extension code, holding the receiver to his ear as it begins to ring.
“Janet? Yes, it’s Max Verstappen.” he says crisply when the line picks up. “I’ve just been informed about an ... employee situation that requires your immediate attention.”
He pauses, glancing over at where you’re clutching his handkerchief like a lifeline. Your eyes are still glistening with tears, but you’ve gone utterly still — hanging on his every word.
“One of our marketing staff came to me in quite a state about needing extended leave to be with their hospitalized child.” Max continues, his voice hardening slightly. “A matter you seemed to dismiss without proper consideration for the … nuances of the circumstances.”
There’s a sputtering on the other end of the line, undoubtedly Janet trying to make excuses. Max doesn’t give her the chance.
“The decision has been made to grant the employee’s leave request, effective immediately.” he cuts her off. “They will be excused for … two months, with full pay and benefits.”
His announcement seems to render you momentarily stunned. You simply stare at him, eyes wide and unblinking, like you can’t quite process what you’re hearing.
Max clears his throat self-consciously, refocusing on Janet’s flustered response filtering through the receiver. “B-But sir, we have very strict policies about-”
“Which is precisely why I’m instructing you to make an exception.” Max interjects, his voice brokering no arguments. “This leave is to be coded as paid health and wellness time. I expect no push-back or foot-dragging on this, understood?”
There’s a meek murmur of assent from Janet’s end. Max can’t resist a tight smile of satisfaction.
“Good. I’ll leave the paperwork in your capable hands then. That will be all.” He punctuates the statement by firmly hanging up the phone.
As the clatter of the receiver breaks the tense silence, Max turns to find you staring at him with an utterly inscrutable expression. For a long moment, neither of you speak or move. He finds himself paralyzed under the weight of your intense, unblinking gaze.
Then, with a strangled cry, you suddenly surge forward and throw your arms around him. Max goes ramrod stiff as your slight frame collides with his, your tears dampening the front of his crisp dress shirt.
“Thank you!” You’re whispering over and over like a prayer, clinging to him with a desperation that should be uncomfortable. And yet ... “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
Max feels utterly transfixed, like a statue too stunned to react. He can’t remember the last time someone dared to encroach so boldly on his personal space, much less make actual physical contact. He’s not accustomed to such … warmth.
But before the unfamiliar embrace can start to grate on him, you suddenly pull back. Swiping at your eyes, you manage a watery smile up at him.
“You have no idea how much this means, sir. I … I can’t thank you enough for your kindness and understanding.”
He wants to scoff at the notion, to remind you that he is Max Verstappen — merciless and uncompromising in his corporate dealings. That this was merely an isolated instance of pragmatism to avoid a PR incident or workplace lawsuit, nothing more.
But something in your earnest gaze stops the curt rebuttal in his throat. For once, the infamously brusque Max Verstappen finds himself momentarily at a loss for words.
So instead, he gives a terse nod of acknowledgment. Already, his mind is starting to analyze how best to re-allocate your responsibilities for the next two months, which temporary hires to bring in for supplemental coverage.
But one stray thought continues to nag at the back of his mind, an errant curveball amongst the dizzying calculations.
For the first time in years — perhaps his entire adult life — Max feels almost … human.
It’s a strange and deeply unsettling realization, but luckily one he doesn’t have to dwell on.
Because in the next breath, you’re sweeping out of his office, a renewed vigor in your step and a brilliant smile lighting up your features. Max watches you go, an odd tightness settling into his chest.
He doesn’t have words — or perhaps doesn’t want to admit to any words to describe what he’s feeling in this moment. But one thing is for certain, for better or worse, you’ve well and truly upended Max Verstappen’s world.
***
Max remains rooted in place long after you’ve departed, his office now eerily silent in your absence. He should feel relieved to have some peace and quiet again after that … emotional encounter.
Yet instead of settling back into his usual all-consuming work flow, he finds his mind stubbornly replaying the scene on an endless, maddening loop.
The desperation etched onto your delicate features. The way your frame practically vibrated with barely-constrained anguish. The broken, pleading sound of your voice as you begged for his mercy ...
Despite his best efforts to dismiss it, the memory of your raw vulnerability has burrowed its way under Max’s skin, taking up an unwelcome residence. It picks and nags at the edges of his consciousness no matter how much he wills it away.
He has witnessed similar breakdowns from countless employees over the years — grown men and women brought to sniveling tatters by his uncompromising demands. But none of them elicited the same … response within him.
None of them made something twist so peculiarly in Max’s chest, unleashing that brief yet startling flicker of empathy from whatever dark crevice it lurks.
Gritting his teeth, Max paces behind his desk in tight, agitated circles. He prides himself on being a merciless pragmatist, unmoved by emotional pleas or babelling outbursts. Whatever decisions he makes are calculated toward the maximum profit potential and bottom line, end of story.
So why does this one case, this one instance of showing a bare modicum of human compassion, insist on gnawing at him so persistently? It makes no logical sense, no matter how he tries to mentally contort it.
Perhaps that’s the core issue — that for once in his life, Max’s motivations weren’t born strictly of logic or financial incentive. Something else had escaped from beneath, something primal and indefinable, when you broke down so nakedly in front of him.
The realization causes Max’s steps to stutter to a halt. His jaw works tensely as he runs a frustrated hand through his brown hair, disheveling the meticulously groomed coif.
He can admit to himself that some base part of his brain had been … affected by the rawness of your emotion. The way you had stripped away all artifice and propriety to plead so urgently and authentically.
Not many people manage to disarm Max Verstappen’s carefully curated expectation filters. But you had blown straight through them without even realizing it, battering down the reinforced walls he builds around his life. Just by being horrifically, unguardedly human.
It’s both impressive and deeply unsettling in equal measure.
Before Max can spiral any further down this rabbit hole of self-reflection, a sharp rap of knuckles against the door jolts him back to awareness. He straightens and clears his throat roughly.
“Come in.” he calls out, already retaking his seat and trying to project an aura of resolute control.
Clara slips into the office, her usual unflappable poise slightly ruffled as she catches the tense atmosphere. “You asked to see me right away, sir?”
“Yes.” Max says brusquely, watching her over steepled fingers. “I need you to do some … discreet digging for me into a personal matter.”
Clara’s perfectly groomed eyebrow arches inquisitively. But to her credit, she doesn’t comment on his evasive phrasing.
“And what exactly am I looking into?”
“The employee who was just in my office seeking leave.” he explains curtly. “The one with the hospitalized child. I need you to find out everything you can — where the child is being treated, their condition, prognosis, all of it.”
Clara’s perfectly glossed lips purse ever so slightly. “You’re aware I can’t exactly go through official medical channels without violating all sorts of privacy laws ...”
“I’m fully aware.” Max interjects with a curt wave of his hand. “Which is why you’ll have to take a more … unconventional approach. I don’t particularly care what methods you have to employ, just get me those details by the end of the day.”
His assistant regards him silently for a long beat, as if trying to suss out his motivations. Max meets her contemplative look with an unwavering stare of his own.
Finally, Clara gives a tight nod of understanding. “Consider it done, sir.”
With that, she pivots on the towering heel of her Louboutin and sees herself out of the office, the click of her footsteps rapidly retreating down the hall.
Max lets out a slow exhale, alone with his thoughts once more.
What is he doing? This bizarre crusade is so wildly outside of his typical conduct and practices. The lengths he’s going to, all for the sake of some random underling’s personal crisis ...
A smart, calculated part of his brain recognizes this entire situation as a fool’s errand, a waste of time and resources. He should be devoting every ounce of his focus toward extricating the Chinese investment group from the Brighton deal before their next earnings call.
And yet, he can’t seem to fully let this go. Your haunted, hopeless expression keeps flickering through his mind’s eye. The memory of your tears soaking into his suit lapel as you clung to him with a desperation that shook something deep within him.
It’s almost as if his body is acting of its own accord, driven by some urge he can’t fully parse or control. Like a murmured voice insistently compelling him to … to what? Help you? Offer some vague sense of solace or security?
The thought is patently ludicrous, and Max scoffs audibly at his own melodrama. Get a grip, he chides himself sternly. Since when do you care about coddling your peons?
He forcefully shakes off the uncharacteristic reverie and turns back to the stacks of paperwork and documents splayed across his desk. Focusing intently on running new financial projections for Q3, he manages to bury himself in the work for a solid two hours.
He’s in the midst of furiously scribbling margin and revenue notes when the trill of the phone line cuts through his concentration. A glance at the caller ID has him resisting the urge to sigh.
“Clara.” he answers crisply, leaning back in his leather chair. “I trust you’ve made progress?”
“Indeed.” comes the smooth reply, devoid of inflection as always. “Though I should warn you, some of these details are … concerning.”
Something tightens in Max’s chest, but he quickly tamps it down. “Just lay it all out for me. No need to editorialize.”
“Very well.” Clara acquiesces. “So the child, a three-year-old daughter, is currently a patient at Lennox Hill Hospital here in the city. According to my sources, she was admitted five weeks ago after experiencing severe seizures and hallucinations. An MRI revealed she has a large mass-”
“Let me stop you right there.” Max interjects, his brows furrowing. Even he can recognize those are less than encouraging signs. “What’s the official diagnosis then?”
“Grade IV glioblastoma.” Clara replies flatly. “One of the most aggressive malignant brain tumors, especially in children her age.”
A terse silence falls between them as the weight of that diagnosis sinks in. Grade IV … practically a death sentence wrapped up in clinical terminology. Max finds his hand unconsciously clenching the arm of his chair.
“And her prospects?” He finally prompts gruffly. “What’s the … prognosis for her case?”
Clara doesn’t answer right away. Over the line, he can hear her exhale slowly, a rare tell of emotional discomfort from his typically unflappable assistant.
“From what my contact at Lennox Hill said … if we’re talking full disclosure?” Her customary professionalism wavers slightly as her voice grows hushed. “They’ve given her three months at most, sir. Maybe less, if another seizure or bleed occurs before then.”
The words hang in the air like a guillotine blade against Max’s neck. Suddenly, all those intrusive mental flashes of your inconsolable despair take on a sharper, even more heartrending clarity.
Of course you were devastated, he realizes with startling empathy. How could any mother face their child’s death sentence with any measure of composure?
An unexpected swell of emotion rises in Max’s throat and he has to blink rapidly to keep it at bay. Now isn’t the time for such indulgences.
“Thank you, Clara.” he manages in a rough baritone. “That will be all for now.”
He ends the call without waiting for a response, abruptly severing the connection.
Alone once more, Max slumps back against the leather upholstery, an uncharacteristic weariness settling into his bones. He reaches up to loosen his already disheveled tie, suddenly feeling stifled within the confines of his suit.
Three months. Three paltry months for a precious young life to be snatched away before it ever really began. His jaw clenches hard.
That’s unacceptable. Not just unfair, but a complete and total injustice to all that is right and good in this world.
No child should have to suffer like that … and certainly no mother should have to face a future of unimaginable grief and emptiness once her only family is gone. Not if there was anything to be done about it.
And, at the end of the day, Max Verstappen has the means to quite literally move mountains with his wealth and influence.
An idea begins to blossom in his mind — one that feels daring and reckless and so utterly unlike his usual business-oriented self. But he finds himself drawn to it with a singleminded resolve he can’t quite explain.
Jaw set, Max snatches up his phone and punches in a number he never thought he’d use outside of donor galas.
“Roland? Max Verstappen here.” he says gruffly when the line picks up. “I need you to connect me directly with someone in Sloan Kettering’s pediatric oncology department ...”
Half an hour and multiple calls later, Max is finally patched through to one of the top clinical researchers in the field: Dr. Spencer Paulson.
“Dr. Paulson, thank you for making time on such short notice.” Max says, his tone polished yet clipped. “To cut right to it, I was recently made aware of a … sensitive case involving a terminal pediatric patient and some rather bleak estimated survival rates.”
Without preamble, he lays out what little he knows about your daughter — the diagnosis, the staging, the Lennox Hill prognosis that has already written her off for dead. All throughout, the doctor on the other end of the line remains grimly silent.
“So in your expert opinion.” Max finishes, realizing his hand has unconsciously tightened into a white-knuckled fist. “What would you say her realistic prospects for meaningful treatment or survival are?”
There’s a pregnant pause, then a grim sigh filters through the tinny line. “Based on what you’ve told me … I’m afraid the prognosis does indeed sound dire. Grade IV glioblastomas in children under five have approximately a 5% survival rate past twelve months with conventional treatment regimens.”
Max clenches his teeth, brutally unsurprised yet still floored by the frank assessment. Moments ago, he had still been clinging to a fool’s hope.
“However.” Dr. Paulson continues, his tone brightening slightly. “We do currently have an … experimental trial ongoing that might be an outside option to explore.”
Something akin to hope flutters in Max’s chest. “I’m listening.”
“Well, to put it simply, we’ve had some promising early results adapting viral gene therapies to target and destroy these aggressive brain tumor cells in young patients.” the doctor explains, shifting into a more clinical, lecture-style delivery.
“By modifying and re-engineering certain viruses to bind only to the specific mutated RNA and protein markers found in diseases like glioblastomas, we can theoretically use those same viruses as a delivery vector. One that can slip past the blood-brain barrier and directly infect the cancerous cells with a sort of … controlled payload, if you will.”
Max nods along, his mind working furiously to keep up with the technical jargon. “Some kind of treatment regimen then? Drugs or radiation therapy delivered directly to the tumor site?”
“Precisely.” Dr. Paulson confirms approvingly. “Only we’ve expanded past just chemo and gamma rays as the options. Thanks to the pioneering work of doctors like Bert Jacobs, we’ve now created an entirely new frontier of cancer treatments centered around gene therapy and mRNA editing.”
He rattles off a dizzying litany of polysyllabic scientific terminology that sails completely over Max’s head. Not that it matters — his focus is fully captured by the notes of guarded optimism finally creeping into Paulson’s voice.
“Of course, this is all still highly experimental. We’ve only managed to achieve remission in a handful of trial cases thus far.” the doctor cautions. “And we have no idea if the viral vector we’ve engineered will be equally effective against every variation of cancerous mutation out there.”
Max nods impatiently, waving a hand as if to physically shoo away the vague caveats. “I appreciate the need for clinical hedging, doctor. But let’s cut right to the heart of the matter.”
He draws in a fortifying breath. “If you were to take on this little girl as a patient, deploy these … gene therapy regimens of yours … would you give her a legitimate chance? At treatment, remission, survival?”
There’s a pregnant pause, as if Dr. Paulson is carefully considering the ethical ramifications of his answer. Then, “If she meets the selection criteria and baseline health conditions … and we get a bit of luck on our side ...” Another sigh, heavy with the weight of his responsibilities. “Then I’d say we would have a fighting chance, yes.”
Those five simple words crash over Max with the force of a tidal wave, hitting him squarely in the chest.
A chance. At life. At making it past those grim, dire prognoses.
After several moments of stunned silence, Max finally finds his voice.
“Say no more, doctor. Whatever it costs — money, time, logistics — none of it matters. I want this treatment option fully activated and prioritized immediately. Spare no expense, I’ll take care of the bill.” He utters the words with the same decisive confidence he handles his billion-dollar business dealings.
Because in this moment, it doesn’t feel like just some impulsive, emotionally-driven whim. Helping your innocent child — ensuring she gets the fighting chance she deserves?
It feels like the only choice he can possibly make.
***
You sit hunched in the hard, plastic visitor’s chair, your body angled protectively towards the small hospital bed. Despite the tubes and wires snaking from her fragile limbs, your daughter appears almost peaceful in her restless slumber.
She always was such a sound sleeper as a baby, you reminisce wistfully. Remembering how you’d regularly creep into the nursery just to watch the gentle rise and fall of her chest, assuring yourself she was still breathing.
Even back then, the ever-present fear of something going horribly wrong never truly left you. The world is far too cruel a place to let a mother relax, no matter how deeply you wish you could.
One slender hand rests atop the thin bedsheet covering your little girl, your thumb tracing soothing circles along her tiny knuckles. A silent, simple gesture of tenderness you hope she can feel even in sleep. If only you could so easily soothe away her pain and suffering as you could your own.
The quiet flutter of the heart rate monitor keeps beat, each mechanical beep another hammer striking your already shattered soul. You want to feel relieved, blessed even, that it continues that steady cadence. Instead, you only feel exhausted hollowness.
Because this morning, the doctors came to “discuss options.” As if their clinical detachment could soften the blow of learning your child is well and truly out of miracles.
“We’ve run every available scan and lab test.” Dr. Rhodes had said, failing to meet your desperate gaze. “I’m so very sorry, but the tumor isn’t responding to any of our treatments. At this point, we have to start considering ...”
You hadn’t let him finish, couldn’t let those hateful, unthinkable words pass his lips. Palliative care. Hospice. Just give up and let nature take its inevitable, brutal course while they pumped her full of numbing opiates so she could “comfortably” slip away.
The rage and anguish had bubbled up from some primal pit within your guts, hot and viscous like magma erupting from deep beneath the earth’s crust. You’d screamed incoherent denials until your voice was hoarse, begging and pleading through sobs for them not to take away your only hope.
In the end, they’d sedated your daughter fully so you could “calm down” and “process things rationally.” You know they meant well, trying to spare her from your outburst. But it only compounded your devastation, feeling like they were already treating her as a lost cause no longer worth fighting for.
So here you sit, after untold hours of cycling through various stages of grief, left only with bone-deep weariness cloaked by a fragile veneer of numb acceptance. You dimly wonder if you’ll ever truly feel anything else ever again.
Through the blur of tears constantly stinging your eyes, you keep a silent vigil over your daughter’s bedside. You memorize every delicate sweep of her sooty lashes, the tiny smattering of freckles across her upturned nose. Desperate to commit every last precious detail of her existence to memory before … before ...
A choked sob bubbles up from your chest at the thought, hot and acidic at the back of your throat. You quickly muffle it with the crook of your elbow, determined not to disturb your resting girl with the outward manifestations of your agony.
In through the nose, out through the mouth. An old meditative mantra you try to focus on, struggling to regain control of your tenuous grip on composure. You know your tears and hiccupping gasps for air are only harming yourself at this point. Better to conserve what little physical and mental strength you have left to simply be with your daughter while you still can.
The grief is an ever-churning sea just waiting to drag you under its dark, icy depths. But still you stubbornly tread water, unwilling to fully surrender just yet. Not as long as you can still feel the reassuring thrum of her pulse against your fingertips, a solitary lifeline keeping you tethered to the present.
You aren’t sure how much time stretches in that manner — minutes or hours, you cannot say. The days have all started blurring into one long, endless haze of sleeplessness and overwhelming sorrow.
So when the door to the hospital room suddenly clicks open, the sound manages to penetrate the cotton-muffled fog shrouding your senses.Instantly, you stiffen and blink rapidly, as if only just now awakening to your surroundings.
A stranger stands in the doorway — a tall, slender man in an impeccably tailored suit that looks distinctly out of place amongst the bland, sterile patient rooms. His face is sharp and angular, almost harsh in its sternness if not for the way his brow is furrowed with evident concern.
You open your mouth to ask who he is and what he wants, but he raises a placating hand before you can find your voice.
“Please, don’t be alarmed.” he says, words clipped yet softened slightly. “I know this is a terrible situation, and the absolute last setting you’d want an uninvited visitor.”
Now that he’s closer, you can see behind his obvious affluence lurks a cultured, aloof sort of demeanor. There’s no outward malice or disrespect in his manner, but he carries himself like someone long accustomed to privileges and deference. The sight of him sets you even more on edge amid your emotional rawness.
“My name is Spencer Paulson.” the man presses on, taking a few measured steps further into the room. “I’m actually a doctor, Ms ...”
“Y/N.” you automatically supply, dredging up the remnants of social graces. “Y/N L/N. And this is … this is my daughter, Olivia.”
Your voice cracks ever so slightly on her name, heated moisture already welling behind your eyes once more. You quickly dab at their corners with the sleeve of your worn cardigan, determined not to dissolve into fresh hysterics in front of this absolute stranger.
“Well, Ms. Y/L/N.” the man — Dr. Paulson — says, tone measured. “I realize I’m intruding on a highly stressful situation for you and your family right now. And for that, I truly am sorry.”
His apology seems sincere enough. But wariness still prickles along your nape as your overtired, over-protective instincts flare up. You clutch your daughter’s limp hand in yours a fraction tighter.
“Then if you don’t mind my asking.” you begin in a calculated tone, scrutinizing Paulson carefully. “Why are you here? And what business could possibly bring you to Olivia’s bedside unannounced?”
He regards you silently for a long moment, something inscrutable flickering across his features. When he speaks again, his words are deliberately precise, weighted down by their momentous gravity.
“I was recently contacted by … an interested third party about your daughter’s case.” Paulson explains, clasping his hands behind his back. “I was filled in on the specifics of her diagnosis — glioblastoma, grade four, extremely aggressive and largely unresponsive to standard treatment. Am I correct so far?”
You can only numbly nod, a chill prickling across your flesh. The man’s crisp, clinical recitation of your worst nightmare forces a painful convulsion of renewed heartache.
Paulson seems to catch your distress and quickly presses on. “Right, well, I’m actually here in an official capacity as the Chief of Pediatric Oncology over at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center.”
The words hit you with all the force of a defibrillator charge, jolting your entire frame upright in the hard plastic chair. Your jaw drops open, already fumbling for a desperate reply that will somehow make this all make sense.
But Paulson continues before you can vocalize any of the hundreds of jumbled questions flooding your mind.
“I’ll keep this relatively simple, Ms. Y/L/N.” he says, holding up a forestalling hand. “My team at Sloan Kettering recently received permission to transfer your daughter over to our care as soon as logistically possible. You see, we’ve been working on an experimental new treatment protocol — a form of gene therapy designed to treat even the most aggressive, mutation-riddled forms of cancers like Olivia’s brain tumor.”
You blink owlishly, unable to fully process the onslaught of technical jargon being leveled at you. All you can do is continue sitting there, stunned into silence as the doctor launches into an almost dizzying explanation of re-engineered viruses, targeted gene editing, and “controlled payloads” being essentially the extent of modern medicine.
“... And while the trial is still in its early stages, we’ve actually already achieved partial and even full remission in a few key pediatric cases remarkably similar to that of your daughter.” Paulson continues, his tone growing faintly tinged with optimism and something akin to pride. “Which is why we’re reasonably confident Olivia could be an excellent candidate for our experimental therapies, if you allow it.”
He lets the weight of that statement hang in the air between you, watching you carefully for any visible reaction. But you’re frozen, fighting between warring tides of soul-rending hope and knee-jerk cynicism.
After all, you’ve come to reflexively distrust when desperation-stoking scenarios sound too good to be true over the past several torturous weeks. A small, rational voice in the back of your mind pipes up to remind you that you can’t afford to get your hopes up, only to be gutted yet again by the crushing inevitability of disappointment.
But another part of your wearied brain — the part that’s grown so fatigued by the oppressive feeling of hopelessness — recoils at dismissing any potential reprieve from the nightmare, no matter how fanciful or far-fetched.
So instead you hear yourself croaking out a single, wobbling syllable.
“How ...”
Paulson tilts his head inquisitively. “I’m sorry?”
You clear your throat, igniting the spark of desperate yearning flickering to life inside your chest. “How much would … would a treatment like this cost?”
For the first time since barging his way into your fragile world, Paulson’s aristocratic features twist into an unmistakable grimace. He lets out a tight sigh, clearly recognizing the gravity behind your simple question.
“Unfortunately, due to the experimental and intensive nature of this therapy … the baseline costs do run relatively high.” he explains in a precise tone, as if trying to distance himself from the crass logistical realities. “If approved for the trial and full treatment regimen, we’re looking at around $1.4 million in projected costs over the first six months alone.”
The astronomical number hits you squarely between the eyes, setting your head swimming with disbelief. One point four … million? The amount is so ludicrously exorbitant that it almost doesn’t seem real.
You open your mouth, fully intending to spit out the derisive scoff that such an impossible ask deserves. No amount of desperate wishing could ever make that attainable for a single, working-class parent already drowning in tens of thousands of medical debt.
But Paulson clearly recognizes the crestfallen defeat settling over your features. Because he quickly rushes ahead with his next words, effectively cutting off any vocal dismissal on your end.
“However, as I mentioned earlier, we did get some … special circumstances greenlighted regarding your daughter’s case.” he says, tone brightening with carefully cultivated hopefulness. “You see, there’s an anonymous benefactor who’s agreed to cover the full cost of treatment on a … philanthropic basis, let’s call it.”
The words punch you directly in the gut, momentarily robbing your lungs of oxygen like a cruel sucker-punch. You blink dazedly up at Paulson, struggling to make sense of what he’s saying through the roaring static in your ears.
“I … I don’t understand.” you manage to stammer out. “Someone wants to … pay for my daughter? All of it? But why? How could they possibly-”
“Hey now, none of that.” Paulson cuts you off, his voice softening with what might be the first hints of empathy and warmth creeping in. “The why doesn’t matter right now — only that it’s been arranged at no cost to you or your family.”
He moves closer then, resting one hand on your shoulder in an unexpected gesture of kindness that makes you flinch despite yourself. Up close, you can see the sincerity shining in his hazel eyes, pleading for you to simply accept this incredible parting of the dark clouds that have shrouded your existence.
“I know this is … well, frankly astounding news on top of everything else you’re already dealing with.” Paulson continues, giving your shoulder a gentle, reassuring squeeze. “And please, believe me, we want to avoid overwhelming you with undue complications. For now, I think it’s enough to simply feel that spark of hope again, yes?”
Despite your best efforts to tamp down the desperate yearning swelling in your chest, you find yourself nodding mutely in agreement. Because in this moment, you understand exactly the miraculous implications of his words.
After so many agonizing weeks of feeling utterly powerless, of watching your baby girl’s life slowly ebb away before your very eyes … there is a chance. An opportunity, a fighting possibility that everything won’t end in crushing grief and irredeemable sorrow.
And even just that single glowing ember of hope, no matter how faint, is enough to shatter the dam holding back your turbulent sea of pent-up emotion. Paulson watches in quiet acceptance as you finally break down in great, shuddering sobs — only this time, they’re threaded with the catharsis of relief.
Happy tears stream down your blotchy cheeks, unchecked and convulsive. You press your face into the cool, starchy sheets of Olivia’s bed, body wracked with a release of tension weeks in the making. It feels as though you’re being simultaneously unmade and reborn in this singular, messy instance.
Through the storm of your breakdown, you’re dimly aware of Paulson stepping away to give you privacy. And then, just before he slips from the room entirely, his composed baritone rings out one last time.
“We’ll make all the arrangements to transport Olivia to Sloan Kettering as soon as possible. Get her started on this treatment regimen right away, alright?”
You can’t even summon the words to respond, only nodding rapidly between hiccuping bursts of gasping and sobbing. But just before he exits, shutting the door silently behind him, you catch Paulson’s murmur.
“There’s a fighting chance now. That’s all any of us can really ask for ...”
***
Max rakes a hand through his meticulously styled hair as he strides down the sterile hallway of Sloan Kettering’s pediatric oncology ward. His eyes scan the room numbers tacked to each door, searching for the one he was provided.
456 … 458… ah, there — 460. Max pauses outside the closed entry, squaring his shoulders as he tries to tamp down the uncharacteristic fluttering of nerves in his stomach. Taking a fortifying breath, he gives the door a perfunctory series of raps with his knuckles.
Almost immediately, a muffled voice filters through from inside — your voice, he recognizes with a start. “Come in!”
Max’s brow furrows momentarily at the warm, chipper lilt to your tone. So unlike the brittle, devastated one he had heard that fateful day in his office. Though he supposes that’s only fitting, given the radically shifted circumstances these past several weeks.
Pushing his hesitation aside, Max takes the invitation and pushes into the hospital room. You’re seated in one of the uncomfortable plastic visitor’s chairs, wearing a soft cardigan and jeans — by all appearances the very portrait of a typical doting mother.
Well, not entirely typical. Because curled up on the bed next to you is a tiny, doe-eyed little girl whose resemblance leaves no question as to her relation to you.
Olivia.
As soon as the door clicks shut behind him, you glance up — and immediately do a double-take, eyes going comically wide. “M-Mr. Verstappen?” You splutter out, frozen halfway out of your chair like a hostess belatedly remembered her manners. “I … I didn’t realize you were-”
Max holds up a hand to stop the tide of nervous rambling, inexplicably touched by your visible shock. The effect is only compounded when Olivia shifts on the bed, eyeing him owlishly from beneath the cuddly weight of a stuffed unicorn nearly as large as she is.
“It’s quite alright, Ms. Y/L/N.” he says, offering you the barest hint of a disarming smile. An expression he finds shockingly easy to produce given the scene before him. “I admit I hadn’t warned you about my visit in advance.”
He pauses there, suddenly realizing the reason for his impromptu trip isn’t entirely certain, even to himself. It had begun as little more than a nagging impulse tugging at him throughout his days, growing more persistent and insistent until he finally gave in and scheduled some time away from the office.
And now that he’s here, standing in this dimly-lit hospital room, Max feels strangely … unmoored. Adrift in a situation his renowned business acumen didn’t even begin to equip him for handling.
But then your daughter is shifting again, curiosity winning out over her bashfulness as she props herself up on her elbows. “Who’re you?” She pipes up in a tiny, raspy voice that somehow bypasses Max’s usually implacable defenses.
Something pangs oddly in his chest at the innocent inquiry. He finds himself crouching into an automatic squat, bringing himself level with the bedside so he can better meet Olivia’s inquisitive gaze.
“You can just call me Max.” he says, injecting a gentle warmth into his tone that he didn’t even realize he was capable of. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”
It occurs to him then that he’s been subconsciously clutching the bouquet of flowers still in his off-hand — an overly ornate spray of exotic lilies and birds of paradise blooms that probably cost more than a month’s rent for most families. He had ordered them from the city’s most exclusive florist boutique on pure aesthetic impulse, without pausing to consider the message such an excessive display might send.
This morning, holding the massive arrangement felt appropriate, a reflection of Max’s stature as a dominant business magnate. But now, watching Olivia’s large eyes track the oversized bouquet with open-mouthed awe, he feels suddenly self-conscious.
Hoping to recover some sense of propriety, Max clears his throat and holds the flowers out in front of him.
“These are, ah, for your mother.” he explains gruffly, avoiding your questioning gaze burning against the side of his face. “A small token of … of appreciation, one might say.”
He isn’t quite sure what prompts the carefully worded addition — perhaps an instinctive reflex to avoid showing any overt sentimentality. But either way, you seem to simply accept the generous offering with bemused grace.
“Thank you, Mr. Versta-” You quickly correct yourself at his mild arched brow. “Er, Max. They’re absolutely lovely.”
You bend to inhale the rich floral perfume, eyelids fluttering in evident delight at the fragrance. Max watches the childlike awe play out across your soft features, feeling an odd sort of satisfaction settle in his chest.
Having given you the flowers, he rises to his feet once more with a put-upon sigh of effort. Every bit of spoiled opulence and bravado that usually comes as second-nature to Max.
And yet, none of it lands quite with the affected solemnity he’s accustomed to projecting. Not when Olivia’s sweet-faced attention is still utterly transfixed by his every move and micro-expression.
Your daughter still hasn’t looked away from him even as you arrange the flower vase on her bedside table, entranced in a way only the very young can be. It’s … disarming, to say the least. But not entirely unpleasant, Max finds himself admitting.
“I, ah, got something for you as well, Olivia.” he announces impulsively. From behind his back, he produces a floppy-limbed teddy bear easily half her size.
He’s not even sure what prompted him to purchase such a pedestrian sort of toy. All he knows is that he saw the stuffed creature in the hospital gift shop window on his way in, and some impulse compelled him to acquire it for reasons he still can’t understand.
But any lingering uncertainty fades from his mind like a passing cloud when Olivia lets out an audible gasp of delight. Her little hands instantly shoot out, making desperate grabbing motions at the plush offering.
“Ohmygosh, thank you!” The words tumble out in a breathless, childish rush. Before Max can even react, she leans precariously over the edge of the bed, arms outstretched and grasping imploringly.
On instinct, Max takes a half-step forward, carefully depositing the stuffed bear into Olivia’s waiting embrace to avoid any accidents. She immediately snatches it to her chest, burying her face in the softness of its soft fabric with a contented hum that seems to vibrate in Max’s very soul.
He swallows hard past the unexpected lump that forms in his throat, watching a child delight in something so simple and innocent. How long has it been since he allowed himself to find joy in the pure, unbridled way that Olivia does? Far too long, he’s forced to admit.
Clearing his throat with an awkward rumble, Max tears his gaze away from your daughter’s cuddling. He levels his focus back onto you instead. Only then does he realize you’ve been staring at him throughout the entire interaction, an unreadable look painted across your face.
“I trust the medical team has kept you informed of Olivia’s progress so far.” he prompts in his usual clipped tone, struggling to reassert some sense of distancing professionalism. “I don’t have any special insight into the procedural specifics, but from what I’ve gathered, positive results are steadily accumulating, yes?”
You blink once, almost like shaking yourself out of a reverie, before offering a slow nod in response. “Y-Yes, you could definitely say that.”
Something sparks behind your gaze then — some dawning realization creeping over your delicate features. “In fact, Dr. Paulson himself said Olivia seems to have responded better to the gene therapy than almost any other patient yet. Her tumor reduction trend is so far exceeding their best models that they’re actually considering tweaking the formula for future tria-”
You abruptly cut yourself off, lips pursing into a tight line as you turn your focus back to Max. He holds your stare evenly, waiting for whatever it is you seem to be mustering the courage to say.
Then, almost in a whisper, “Max … are you the anonymous donor paying for all of this?”
The words hang in the air like a physical force between you, so full of implication and unvoiced emotion that even Max can’t find a way to deflect them. He stares back at you, utterly disarmed beneath the intensity of your scrutinizing gaze.
For a long beat, only the hum of hospital machines and equipment fills the weighty silence. Max’s jaw works tensely as he considers how best to respond. He wants to shrug it off, make some sardonic quip to reestablish the carefully curated aloofness that serves him so well in the business world.
But then Olivia lets out another joyous giggle as she squishes the plush bear’s paw, completely enraptured and undistracted by the silent standoff occurring across her bedside. And all of Max’s formidable defenses and calculated denials abruptly dissolve in the face of such childlike innocence.
So instead of evasion, he answers your question with a small, barely perceptible nod and a softly murmured, “Yes.”
He doesn’t have time to brace himself before you’re suddenly surging up out of the chair with a wounded cry. And then your arms are flung around his neck, your body slamming against his chest as you pull Max into a fierce and entirely unexpected hug.
The impact momentarily stuns him, freezing Max in place with his arms held useless at his sides. He can’t remember the last time someone dared to initiate such a brazen display of physical contact — perhaps ever, now that he racks his brain.
But just as he contemplates gently extricating himself from your clutches, your ragged voice rises to his ear in a trembling whisper.
“Thank you.” you’re whispering over and over like a fevered prayer. “Thank you, thank you, thank you ...”
With each impassioned repetition, Max can feel more of the tension slowly leeching from his frame. He finds himself sinking bonelessly into your embrace, one hand coming to rest against the small of your back in an automatic gesture of soothing.
Soon enough, heaving sobs are wracking your entire body against his. Hot tears quickly begin to soak through the fabric of his expensive dress shirt as you cling to him with the desperation of a fallen angel clawing her way back into grace. But Max doesn’t pull away, doesn’t extricate himself or put distance between your respective roles as worker and corporate king.
Instead, in a move even he can’t fully explain or justify, his free hand comes up to cradle the back of your head, pulling you in even tighter as you keen your grateful relief against the column of his throat.
“It’s … quite alright.” he finds himself rumbling in a low, soothing voice completely at odds with his usual persona. “No thanks are necessary. All that matters now is ensuring your daughter’s full and complete recovery … at whatever cost required.”
He isn’t sure whether his throwaway platitude is meant more for his benefit or yours at this point. But either way, you show no signs of releasing him from the crushing strength of your desperate clutch anytime soon. So Max does the only thing left available to him — he simply lets you cry and shake and cling to him for as long as you need.
Until finally, with a handful of watery hiccups and sniffles, you manage to tilt your blotchy face up towards his.
“I … I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you for this.” you murmur throatily. “For giving Olivia more than just some faint hope, but an actual chance to grow up and live the life she deserves.”
Tenderness isn’t something that often breaks through Max Verstappen’s shroud of callous indifference. He can count on one hand the number of times in his adult life he’s allowed himself to indulge in such sentimental trivialities.
But gazing into your puffy, reddened eyes, he finds he can’t quite summon any bitter cynicism. Instead, his voice remains low with a soothing gentleness that feels almost foreign falling from his lips.
“The only form of repayment I’ll require.” he says finally, “is your permission to take you to dinner.”
He blinks once, almost taken aback by the words that slipped unbidden from his throat. But you, for your part, seem equally dazed as your brows knit in bewilderment.
“Dinner? But … I haven’t left Olivia in weeks.”
At that, Max manages a wry smile, feeling as if he’s regained at least some fraction of his footing and composure. “Of course I don’t expect you to. I simply meant for the three of us to dine together … here, in the hospital. My treat, naturally.”
Your fingers unconsciously clench tighter into the fabric of his ruined dress shirt. But even with the hint of embarrassment pinkening your cheeks, he can see what looks almost like … excitement? Perhaps even coyness sparking behind your gaze before you avert your eyes demurely.
“I … yes, of course.” you murmur, sounding almost bashful. “We would be honored.”
Max simply nods, committing every little part of the interaction to his increasingly scattered memory for later dissection. For now, he withdraws himself from the gentle circle of your arms with what he hopes appears a natural sort of casualness.
“Very good then,” is all he finds himself able to say in response. “I shall make the necessary arrangements and return shortly with something to eat.”
With that, he turns on his heel and strides towards the exit, throwing one final look over his shoulder. You’re already back in your chair at Olivia’s bedside, shooting him another shy little smile as you start to idly stroke your now dozing daughter’s hair.
And before Max even fully processes the impulse, he feels the corner of his mouth tugging upwards into a warm half-grin in response.
A expression so unfamiliar on his usually dour features that it renders him momentarily unrecognizable, even to himself.
Shaking his head as if to cast off the dizzy sense of displacement, Max continues out into the hallway. He stubbornly refuses to dwell too much on the stirrings of contentment radiating through his chest.
Such indulgent notions are highly unseemly for a man of his stature and influence, after all. Better to ignore them entirely, as he always has.
Though even as the thought crosses his mind, Max finds himself picking up his pace with a renewed sense of purpose and determination. Because somewhere along the way, he realizes ...
Denial doesn’t appear to be an option anymore.
***
Two Years Later
The ornate grandfather clock in the corner ticks rhythmically, its pendulum swinging with measured precision. Max’s gaze flicks over to it briefly before returning to the stack of documents before him. Numbers and figures blur together as his eyes scan the pages, his brow furrowed in concentration.
A giggle from the corner of the room breaks his focus. He glances up to see Olivia sitting cross-legged on the plush carpet, curls bouncing as she plays with her Barbie dolls. A hint of a smile tugs at the corner of his lips at the sight of her innocent joy.
“What are you up to over there, kleine muis?” He asks, his voice gruff but tinged with affection.
Olivia looks up, her eyes sparkling. “I’m having a tea party with Barbie and Ken.” she explains, brandishing the dolls. “Would you like to join us, Maxie?”
Max chuckles softly. “Thank you for the invitation, but I’m afraid I have a bit too much work to do for a tea party right now.”
“Okay.” Olivia says cheerfully, returning to her imaginary festivities.
You had dropped Olivia off at Max’s office after her kindergarten class, needing to rush to an urgent marketing meeting. Max had insisted on keeping her company until you returned, despite the mountain of paperwork on his desk.
He watches Olivia play, mesmerized by her ability to create entire worlds from mere toys and her vibrant imagination. Her carefree laughter is a soothing balm against the chaos of his day.
After a while, Olivia looks up again. “Maxie, can I ask you something?”
“Of course, lieverd. What is it?”
Olivia fidgets with one of the doll’s dresses. “Today at school, we had to draw pictures of our families.”
Max’s heart constricts slightly at the innocuous statement, but he manages a reassuring smile. “Did you have fun with that activity?”
Olivia nods enthusiastically. “Uh-huh. I drew me, Mommy, and you.”
The words hit Max like a physical blow, stealing his breath away. He stares at Olivia, his eyes widening as a storm of emotions swirls within him.
Olivia, oblivious to his inner turmoil, continues, “But then Timmy said that you’re not really my daddy since we don’t have the same last name. Is that true, Maxie? Are you not my daddy?”
Max swallows hard, his throat constricting. He had grown to love this child as if she were his own flesh and blood, but he had never dared to assume the sacred title of father. The realization that Olivia saw him that way, despite the lack of biological ties, threatens to shatter his carefully constructed walls.
Pushing back from his desk, he rises to his feet and makes his way over to where Olivia sits. He lowers himself to the floor, his movements stiff and hesitant. Olivia watches him with curious eyes, still clutching her dolls.
“Olivia.” he begins, his voice thick with emotion he struggles to contain. “Even though we don’t share the same name, and I didn’t ...” He pauses, swallowing hard. “I didn’t have a hand in bringing you into this world, you are every bit as much my daughter as if you were my own.”
Olivia tilts her head slightly, considering his words. “So, I can call you Daddy?”
The simple question unlocks something deep within Max’s core, a part of himself he had locked away long ago. He feels moisture prickling at the corners of his eyes, an unfamiliar sting that he doesn’t fight.
“Yes, kleine muis.” he whispers, his voice wavering. “I would be honored if you called me Daddy.”
Without warning, Olivia drops her dolls and flings her small arms around Max’s neck, hugging him tightly. Max freezes for a moment, unaccustomed to such open displays of affection, before melting into the hug. He wraps his arms around Olivia’s tiny frame, holding her close as if she might slip away at any moment.
They stay like that for long minutes, Max’s shoulders trembling slightly as the dam he had so carefully constructed finally cracks. Tears slip silently down his cheeks, mingling with the softness of Olivia’s hair as he buries his face against her.
At last, Olivia pulls back, her eyes shining with joy. “I love you, Daddy.” she says simply, the words reverberating through Max’s very soul.
He manages a watery smile, brushing away the dampness on his cheeks. “And I love you, lieverd. More than you could ever know.”
Olivia beams at him before scrambling to her feet. “Oh! I almost forgot!” She darts over to her little backpack, rummaging through it eagerly.
Max watches her, his heart still thundering in his chest from the whirlwind of emotions coursing through him. He had built an empire, commanded boardrooms with an iron fist, and struck fear into the hearts of grown men … yet this innocent child had disarmed him completely.
“Here it is!” Olivia exclaims, returning with a piece of paper clutched in her small fist. She holds it out to Max, beaming. “For you, Daddy.”
With trembling hands, Max takes the drawing. A bright smile breaks across his face as he studies the crude but endearing figures — stick figures, but he can clearly make out Olivia, you, and himself, joined by vibrant swirls of color.
“It’s beautiful.” he murmurs, his fingers tracing over the lines with a tenderness he reserves only for her. “Thank you.”
Over the next few days, Max has the drawing professionally framed, the simple piece of artwork taking pride of place on the wall of his office. Whenever his gaze falls upon it, his heart swells with a love and sense of purpose that had been missing for far too long.
Beside the framed drawing hangs his business degree, a symbol of his power and influence in the corporate world. Yet, it is Olivia’s artwork that holds the most meaning, a reminder of what truly matters in this life.
Because Max is many things — a captain of industry, a force to be reckoned with, a man who has clawed his way to the top through sheer grit and determination.
But most importantly, he is a father.
And he has never been more proud of any achievement than to call himself Olivia’s daddy.
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ipushhimback · 19 days ago
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wife, actually
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pairing: lando norris x reader warnings: none, this is pure fluff words: 600
summary: who would have guessed why lando hasn’t been active on social media the entire off season…
It was the first interview Lando gave in 2025. Over the off season he hadn’t been active on social media at all, and the fans already started to be confused.
„So, Lando. What do you wish for this season?“
„Well of course winning the WDC this year. I got really close last year and was really sad and mad at myself when i didn’t make it.“ Lando looked around the room that was full of reporters and fans. 
But then his eyes found you. He smiled at you which made his eyes glow.
„But you were still really focused in the last races. Managed finishing P1 in Abu Dhabi which secure you the win of the WCC for McLaren in over two decades. How did you do that?“, the reporter asked. 
„I just focused on not letting the team down and it helped to be around people who are important to me and helped me stay focused and not get distracted by being mad at myself for not winning the driver‘s championship.“
The reporter nodded.
„So your girlfriend was with you the whole time? Was she the one who helped you?“
Lando grinned even more when he looked at you and saw you giving a small nod.
„Wife, actually. We got married during off season. That’s why we weren’t active on social media over the last couple months. We just wanted to spend some time together and enjoy being a married couple. But to answer your question, yes. She was the person who was there for me and made sure i didn’t lose focus or freak out.“
You smiled at Lando. You both hadn’t exactly planned on telling everyone yet that you were married but this was the perfect situation for Lando. He just had to tell everyone that you were now officially his wife. That you were now carrying his last name.
“Oh? That’s great! Congratulations! When did you propose to her? I can’t believe the fans didn’t notice”, the reporter asked surprised.
“Well actually it was during off season but we didn’t want to wait any longer so when we were drunk we flew to Vegas and well… we came home married”, Lando laughed nervously. It wasn’t exactly the most romantic story to tell but he didn’t really care. It was his and his wife’s story which made it extremely special.
“Well. Again, congratulations you two.”
Lando was asked a couple more questions before being able to leave and go to his wife.
“I thought you didn’t want to tell everyone yet?”, you teased Lando as he ran towards you.
“Well, he said you were my girlfriend. I just had to correct him, didn’t I?” Your husband leaned forward and pressed a light kiss to your lips.
“You really didn’t have to tell them we got married in Vegas… it is embarrassing.” You buried your face in Lando’s chest.
“No, baby. It is not embarrassing. It is cute! It just means we love each other so much we couldn’t wait to be married. You are now Mrs. Lando Norris. Isn’t that cool.” Lando looked at you with that wide grin that made you fall in love with him when you first saw him.
“It is. I am the luckiest woman in the world thanks to that.” You grinned back at him and got on your tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek.
“And also we will soon have to tell that story to our little one, right?” Lando placed his hands on your belly.
“Yes. I guess we will”, you said smiling. “I still want that wedding party though. I really wanna wear a white dress and have cake. A big cake.”
A/N: I am sick so you only get a small fic today <3 thanks for liking my stuff
taglist: @strawberryy-kiwii / @a-distantdreamer / @requiemforthepoets / @martygraciesversion381 / @l-vroom4 / @comicalivy / @sid-is-gr8 / @picklesbuddy93 / @sadiemack9 / @f1fantasys / @cloud-55 / @sunny44 / @widow-cevans / @gigicisneros / @mbioooo0000 / @sinfully-yoursss / @bravo-delta-eccho / @rue-t / @mayax2o07 / @alexanderachillesisgay / @maviesamour / @suhchenjun / @pippyth3hippy / @sweate-r-weathe-r
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inkedbybarnes · 11 months ago
Text
unclear
bucky barnes x fem!reader
summary: everyone thinks you're dating bucky, except yourself.
word count: 2.4k
warnings: 18+ minors dni. miscommunication (i love this trope, sue me), angst with a happy fluffy ending, quite stubborn reader, implied smut if you squint, usage of petnames such as baby and doll. lowercase for basically everything.
i haven't finished anything in decades, but i suddenly had an idea just now and decided to write it down. surprisingly, i finished it? might have a lot of mistakes and such since i haven't proofread it yet. also, sorry for using lowercase for this, i kinda like how it looks. hope you enjoy this one!
dividers by @cafekitsune!
comments, reblogs, and likes are highly appreciated. thank you! ♡
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“you're confusing me. so... you're not dating bucky?”
wanda tilted her head, confusion etched on her face as you spent your weekly girl's night with natasha. it usually consisted of eating food you all desired, drinking until you got wasted, and spilling secrets to one another.
although tonight, you weren't sure if you had any secrets to spill.
"as far as i know, no. we're just friends, teammates. nothing else," you answered with a heavy sigh. "can we talk about something else?"
"hold your horses, young lady! we are not skipping this topic again. you obviously want a label but he isn't giving you one!" wanda protested. she has been constantly asking about you and bucky's relationship for the past weeks, and you always had the same answer. you don't know.
"have you never talked about it with bucky? he looks at you like you'd get lost if he looks away for a second. not a single soul in the tower would think that you're just friends," natasha interjected, taking another sip from the bottle of beer she held. she had a point, as always. "if he's just playing with you, which i highly doubt for barnes, then just end whatever that is. you deserve better than having doubts and confusion, babe."
you've tried asking him multiple times, but every attempt felt like you were stepping on his boundaries. after years of being controlled by hydra, you knew it was possible that he'd hate the feeling of being rushed and entering a relationship that could potentially feel like a cage to him.
but natasha was right. your "relationship" was no longer anything friendly. he sleeps in your bed, claiming he slept better in it, and wakes up beside you to shower you with kisses. none of you even tried to hide it after some time. you always cooked your meals and ate them together, casually feeding one another and stealing kisses in between. you even stopped going on dates and you had no idea if you were exclusive. you deserved to know what your relationship with bucky was, but you were too scared to lose everything once you asked.
"we're not dating. i only see him as a friend, so you can both stop worrying about me." you lied through your teeth, your chest aching as you realised how stupid this was. you sighed and faked a smile, shifting the attention to natasha. "so, tell me about your date with steve! how was the first ever date of captain america since the 40s?"
wanda was distracted by the question, immediately bombarding the now blushing widow with questions. on the other hand, your mind flew away for a minute, finally deciding to get an answer from bucky.
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the annual ball that tony stark held for, well, nearly anyone, was nearing. you only had two weeks left, and you haven't even gone out to find something to wear. it was hard to find any motivation to do all that effort when the person you've been waiting to ask you as his date hasn't asked you yet.
although, bucky had a tendency to get shy and hold back. you knew that. so here you were, standing behind the doors to the gym, knowing that bucky would be training at this hour. you still haven't asked him the question you were supposed to ask him, so you decided to do it all at once.
after you've finished your small pep talk, you opened the door to enter the room and your first instinct was to search for bucky.
considering that he was a huge chunk of a man, he was easy to find. however, the sight of him standing in front of a woman that was too close for your comfort wasn't delightful.
he didn't see you entering the room since he was facing the opposite direction, conversing with the agent that happened to be training as well. she had the sweetest and flirtiest smile on her face, bringing her hand up to his arm, slowly caressing it. you didn't mean to easily hear their conversation as you walked closer.
"so, do you happen to have someone for me to have as a date for the ball? i don't want to be lonely on that night, sergeant," the agent said with an extra pout, swaying her hips side to side like a child asking for candy.
"oh, yeah? i think i have someone for you," bucky replied, breaking your heart into pieces with how enthusiastic he was with his answer. "i'm sure you'll—"
you sniffed. unconsciously. not knowing that your tears were already falling, causing your nose to get stuffy. how pathetic, you thought.
your little sniff caught the attention of both the agent and bucky, looking at you in shock. although, the girl was more pleasantly surprised than the opposite. thankfully, you already had your tears wiped before they could see them.
"oh, we didn't see you there!" she greeted you with your name. "we were just talking about our date for this year's ball. who are you bringing?"
"i haven't decided yet, no one's worth it even if i try," you answered bitterly. "so you're going together?"
before bucky could answer, the agent already had her arm wrapped around his, happily smiling at your question. "yeah! amazing, right? i actually thought you two had a thing, but i guess not. glad things worked out in the end."
and that was your last straw. "well, enjoy yourselves. i have to go and find natasha."
you turned to leave, ignoring the loud calls of bucky. you were glad that you never asked him about your relationship and the ball. you were going to be hurt either way.
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you spent the next hours stuck in your room, body covered with a thick sheet as you ranted about your frustrations to friday.
it was silly, you knew that, but you refused to call natasha and wanda to remind you of your stupidity and decided to let an ai robot listen to your problems instead.
"and he even flirted back! answering coyly like a teenager. he's 107 years old, fri!" you whined, not noticing the new nickname you've given the alternative intelligence. "ugh, now i have a broken heart and no date in sight. how did it get to this?"
"perhaps you must discuss this matter with sergeant barnes first. your conversation ended quite abruptly with no clear conclusion."
"no, i don't want the truth rubbed on my face," you said, grabbing another piece of tissue to sneeze in. "you restricted him from entering my room, right?"
friday answered with a yes, then you thanked her for listening and decided to get some sleep after tirelessly crying for hours. you knew you had a team meeting with the avengers in a bit, but you couldn't bring yourself to even walk a few steps.
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your sleep ended and you were woken up with friday's reminder that it was time for dinner with the team.
with a groan, you pushed yourself off your bed. bucky would be there, but you were too hungry to care. it would be awkward, of course, but you had to face him at some point anyway.
your feet padded towards the door, opening it after trying your hair in a bun.
"ah, fuck."
you jumped at the voice and the body falling to the floor as you opened the door.
"bucky?" you asked, still in shock. "were you sleeping outside of my room?"
you watched bucky stand up, his hand massaging his aching nape as he looked for your eyes. "friday won't let me in. i waited outside instead. i guess i fell asleep during that," he explained, a frown forming on his face. "did you restrict me from entering our room?"
your eyes widened at his choice of words. our room. he considered your room to be his room as well. while that would've made you melt in an instant, you were still hurt to entertain that possibility.
"this is my room, barnes. not yours, not ours. and yes, i had you restricted because i couldn't face you yet. what do you need anyway?"
"i wanted to see you, talk to you." a flash of pain crossed his eyes. "whatever happened at the gym, it's—"
"bucky, you don't have to explain anything to me. we're just friends. it's my fault i assumed we were something. i just need some time to get over it."
"but i thought we were something as well..." he replied, his voice was almost as quiet as a whisper. "i thought we were dating."
"were we?" you asked, genuinely curious. "we never.. you never said anything. i mean, yeah, i wished it meant something, but i thought you wouldn't want to be trapped in a relationship with me, so i just waited. apparently, i was right and i can't blame you for that."
"right about what? the thing that happened in the gym this morning?" he asked. you nodded in response. "i know it sounds like i was flirting back, well i didn't know at the moment, until i asked steve who was clueless but he called nat to help me out and explained that it looked like i was flirting back. i wasn't. i was just going to suggest sam as a date for her. i would never agree to anyone."
oh. so he just wasn't interested in anyone at all.
"besides this one girl who's constantly been in my head. that's if she'd even give me a chance and say yes. i fucked it up badly before i could even ask her properly."
you knew what hoping got you, but you couldn't help but think that he was talking about you. he'd have to be clueless to say all those things in front of you only for it to be someone else.
"i love you, baby. i should've told you that, i should've made it clear sooner. i'm so sorry i let you have doubts when i could've been reassuring you about what i feel for you."
"bucky..."
"i would never feel trapped with you, doll. only you made me feel so much love and freedom. i'd be a fool to let go of that. i'm sorry it took a few hits and harsh words from natasha to make me realise that i wasn't giving you enough when you deserve everything." he held your face in his hands, bringing you closer to him. you felt breathless, tears threatening to fall but this time it was out of joy. "hydra made sure i had no voice to express myself. now, i'll use it to let you know that i love you so fucking much that it hurts when you're not around. i promise to work on it. if anything like this happens again, ask me, baby. demand things from me. i'll give you everything in a heartbeat."
"even if i ask for your arm?"
he laughed, a sound that was music to your ears. "it's yours baby. although, i do like fucking you with my metal—"
"bucky!" you scolded him, hitting him lightly on the chest.
"sorry, baby. couldn't help it. missed my girl so much."
his girl. you loved hearing that.
"it's only been a few hours. don't be silly," you reminded him, but you knew you also felt the same.
"i miss you even when i don't see you for a second." you couldn't help but laugh at his words. "something funny, doll?"
"sorry, natasha said something similar about you a few days ago," you answered. "i'm sorry for assuming so quickly, bucky. you deserved the chance to explain."
"and you did let me explain. i can't blame you for assuming and getting hurt when i never gave you the confirmation to believe otherwise. don't apologise for it, baby."
"i love you," you said, causing him to grin widely.
"yeah? you love me too?" he asked, a hint of pink tinting his cheeks. "this is official now, right? we're dating?"
you nodded happily, giggling as he landed a kiss to your mouth. "so, you wanna go to the ball with me?"
he kissed you again. "don't. i'm supposed to be asking you that. i had an entire thing prepared for you, i even dragged half of the team to help me out days ago. besides wanda and natasha, of course. couldn't let them tell you about it."
your heart swelled, he was already planning to ask you before all of this misunderstanding happened, and it could've been solved with communication. lesson learned, indeed.
"well hurry because i can't wait to say yes," you playfully threatened him, kissing the tip of his nose until the loud rumble of your stomach interrupted your sweet moment. "ah, right. i was on my way to eat dinner when i opened the door."
bucky laughed, his eyes twinkling witth adoration as he kept his eyes on you. "we can't have you starving, that's for sure. come, let's get you something." he held your hand, and dragged you to the kitchen. he turned to look at you with a playful smile. "wanna cook together like the old times?"
you smiled. "like the old times."
in the middle of your cooking session, you heard whistles and claps along with the footsteps that entered the kitchen. you both turned to find the rest of the team with shit eating grins.
"finally! so is this real or do we need to smack your heads?" tony asked, his hand placed on his hip.
"it's always been real, stark," bucky answered, wrapping his arm around your waist. "except this time, i'm making sure my entire world knows it."
"i think everybody knows you have a thing for each other, barnes." clint added.
"i meant my entire world, not everybody." bucky looked at you with awe. "she's my world."
bucky's answer gained various loud reactions from the team, mostly calling him a cheesy old man and fake gags, but there you were, cheeks heating up as you looked back at him with the same amount of love, if not more.
and he did ask you to be his date to the ball the day after, surprising you with his so-called secret plan.
a year later, he surprised you with a ring as he knelt on one knee.
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if you have any requests for bucky, send them my way! 💌
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pathologicalreid · 12 days ago
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all the debts i owe | s.r.
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in which Spencer takes your kids into account when deciding whether or not he should take a plea deal, and it doesn't go the way you expect
who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: angst content warnings: prison reid, takes place during 12x14 "collision course", i love my little reid family so much word count: 1.29k a/n: caamp song fic caamp song fic caamp song fic everyone cheered!!!!
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Somehow, you felt like you were invading a conversation that you shouldn’t be a part of. Emily and Spencer knew this world much better than you did, and you were nothing more than a fly on the wall, grateful to be in close proximity to your husband after a few days of him being in jail.
You’d stopped by yesterday, dropping off a bag of his belongings and leaving them with Emily. You had wanted to see him then, if for nothing more than a confirmation that he was still breathing, but he was finally getting some sleep. The comfort of knowing that he had Emily watching over him had to be enough.
Spencer wasn’t allowed to keep his wedding band on. It was something that the jail was going to hold on to, but Emily had intervened and arranged for you to keep it.
The gold band weighed heavy against your chest, suspended by a chain around your neck for safe keeping, you kept it tucked into the collar of your sweater while you watched Spencer and Emily talk. “Please, just think about it,” Emily pleaded with him. “Think about the evidence.”
“I know,” Spencer assured her. “Scratch dots his Is and crosses his Ts. We know that,” he responded, brown eyes flickering over to yours for just a moment.
Leaning heavily against the wall for support, Emily shook her head, “But a jury won’t. A jury will only see what Scratch wants them to see.”
You shifted on your chair, resting your elbows on the table and propping your head in your hands. “You think they’ll convict me?” Spencer asked, a string of hurt threaded through his voice as if the thought of a jury of his peers thinking he was a killer caused him physical pain.
“I don’t know,” Emily answered, her voice barely above a whisper, “But if they do. Five years—that’s doable. You are young. You can have a life after that.” You were grateful for Emily; it seemed like she was doing the begging that you didn’t have the energy for.
“Not as an FBI agent,” Spencer rebutted, “I’d be a convicted felon.”
Her face softened as you watched, “Yes,” she acquiesced, “but you’d be free.”
At the first sign of tears in Spencer’s eyes, you felt water lining your own, “The FBI is my home. It’s where I belong.”
Emily looked at you for help, but you couldn’t get yourself to speak. You understood Spencer in a way few people ever could, the idea of him not being a part of the BAU made your chest ache as much as it did his. “You don’t belong in prison, and if you play Russian roulette with this… twenty-five years. That is a lifetime.”
Your husband lifts his chin in a display of false confidence, “If Scratch is framing me, you guys will get him. I know you will.”
“Yes, we will. I promise you we will never give up, and we will exonerate you.” Familiar silver started to line Emily’s eyes as well, “But what if we can’t do that this week? Or this year? Or this… decade? Because I know we can’t do it before your arraignment.”
Spencer turned to look at you, fully facing you for the first time since you arrived at the conference room this morning. “Thirty, twenty-seven, and twenty-five.”
Emily shook her head, confused. “What? What is that?” Her dark brows were knit together, looking between the two of you as she waited for an explanation.
You faced the two of them, wiping your sweaty palms across your jeans, “That’s how old our kids would be when he gets released.”
“They won’t even know who I am,” he said miserably, looking up at the ceiling to stop tears from gathering in his eyes.
Standing up from the chair, you stepped over to him, taking your rightful place at his side. “You could take the new deal, Spence,” you reminded him. “Five to ten—”
“I need to see them grow up,” he pleaded, brown eyes boring into you as he begged you to understand. Spencer always accounted for every possible outcome. Despite the haze of the past few days, you were sure that he knew what he was getting himself into.
You nodded up at him, taking one of his hands in yours before glancing over at Emily, “Can you give us a minute?”
Prentiss sighed and gave the both of you an understanding look before she slipped out of the room. “I need to see them grow up,” he repeated himself, dragging his free hand down his face while you squeezed his hand comfortingly.
“I know,” you whispered, “but with the deal… five years.”
“Or ten,” he countered. “Ten years… Nell would be in high school.”
Your stomach flipped at the idea, your oldest baby in high school, and just like that, you understood Spencer’s decision. You’d be there, outside in the world with your kids for those five to ten years; you’d see all of the in-between. Spencer would miss everything, learning about his own children through phone calls and letters, he’d play a passive role in their lives. If there was even the slightest chance that he would plead not guilty and win, then this whole nightmare would be over. “You have to fight,” you said, announcing the conclusion that he had already come to.
He nodded in confirmation, “Angel,” he whispered, “I don’t want you to come to the arraignment.”
Your breathing hitched, “What?”
“I want you to be with the kids. You’re the only parent they’ll have for who knows how long,” he explained himself.
You hadn’t worked out what you were going to tell the kids. They were too young to understand. Finn was barely out of the newborn phase, Livvy’s vocabulary was expanding every day, and Nell… Spencer was Nell’s best friend. Steeling your expression, you nodded once, “Okay, I won’t go.”
His lips parted and closed like he wanted to say something but stopped himself, you squeezed his hand in an attempt to be encouraging. “Just in case things don’t go the way we want… don’t wait for me.”
You dropped his hand, shaking your head in horror. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing from him, without a second thought, you reached into your shirt and pulled his wedding band out, leaving it on the chain, “For better or for worse, Spencer.”
“This is far worse than anything we could have ever thought of,” he continued, trying to give you an out. You could leave and he wouldn’t fault you, but you’d fault yourself.
Instead, you waved away his offer, “It would be an honor to wait for you. If that’s what it takes for me to see you again.”
He kissed you. Ducking his head until his lips met yours, there was nothing chaste about it. You both knew it was the last kiss, and it had to be good enough to last a lifetime. It was like nothing you’d ever experienced before, fueled purely by emotion; you kissed him like you’d never see him again. You gripped the collar of his sweater to discourage him from pulling away, and you tried to memorize the feeling of his hands on your waist.
A hollow feeling filled your chest when he pulled away, “I love you,” you breathed.
He nodded, resting his forehead against yours, “I love you too.” He pressed another small kiss to your lips, “I’ll make this up to you.”
You let yourself be pulled into his embrace, burying your face in his chest. You held onto him because this moment couldn’t last forever, but you’d be damned if you weren’t going to drag it out.
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foldingfittedsheets · 6 months ago
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When I worked pizza it was a rough gig. I’ve talked about getting fired but the reality was that it was ridiculously easy to get fired at that place. For that reason it was a bit hard to get attached to new hires. Until they passed the two month mark it wasn’t worth forming emotional attachments.
Enter Daisy. There was nothing wrong with Daisy, really, as a person. She just was a bit ditzy and couldn’t hustle worth a damn. For these sins the veteran staff was almost constantly annoyed at Daisy.
But she was blithely unconcerned or unaware of our frostiness. She greeted us with chirpy friendliness every day that was undeterred by our almost blatant ignoring of her. This was fine with Daisy. She’d fill the silence we left by talking our ears off about her dead beat boyfriend, whatever thought was in her head that moment, and the current drama in her friend circle.
One day we snapped. Daisy clearly needed some hazing because we were going crazy. She made herself a pizza for dinner and passed it off to the guy working the ovens, then went to the bathroom.
I don’t remember this being premeditated but all three of us left in her wake lunged for the anchovies.
See. We had anchovies on hand for the very rare occasions someone asked for them on a pizza. It was terribly uncommon but we had them. It stunk up the entire restaurant every time anchovy went in the oven so we all unilaterally loathed anchovies. We assumed Daisy would loathe them too. We poured the fish juice from the can all over her pizza.
We all then went nonchalantly about our work. Daisy’s pizza came out and I sliced it for her as she strolled over from the bathroom. She smiled and thanked me and sat with her back to us, scrolling her phone.
We waited like horrible little imps of mischief, anticipating her outraged and disgusted cries. She lifted the pizza and we leaned closer, malicious in our delight. She took a bite. She chewed. Swallowed. Took another bite.
Slowly we became transfixed. We left off all our closing clean up tasks to watch Daisy’s back as she ate her pizza with every sign of enjoyment. Our malevolence fizzes out into shock. She didn’t say a peep about the anchovy juice. The oven guy had emptied the can over her food and she was unmoved. We couldn’t look away.
We were silent as she finished and brought her plate over to be bussed. We stared at her.
“What?”
“Did you… like… your pizza?”
“It was fine.”
I broke. I was broken. This girl, this annoying cheerful girl, had broken me. “Daisy,” I said in agony, “We poured anchovy juice all over it. How did you even eat that pizza!?”
“Oh! I thought it was really salty! I don’t actually have a lot of taste buds there’s this weird thing with my nose. I really only get like salty, sweet, bitter. You guys put anchovy juice on it!? That’s so funny!”
Reader, she meant it. She thought it was hilarious that we had spiked her pizza with fish oil. She thought it was even funnier that she’d eaten it all without knowing. We all kept laughing together through closing duties, repeating “I thought it was salty!”
That was it. Daisy was part of the team. She had eaten all the malice we had toward her and come out smiling. She won. The following story took place well over a decade ago. I’m aware it contains shitty behavior. You’re supposed to realize it was shitty that’s why I wrote it.
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the-mercurial-star-o-vesper · 2 months ago
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TF2 COMIC THEORY (and Spoilers)
What, did Zephaniah Mann do?
Look, if there's one thing I know about Valve Lore, is that its really hidden, really coded, and TF2 has been fucking TEASING for decades now.
And as far as I'm concerned...
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We know who the mystery man in the rip is... That's Gray Mann, the missing brother. Gods knows he's been teased enough over the years.
But here, I'm interested in...
[ Spoilers below ]
... Where the stinger occurs.
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Zephy is not an only child.
Because his brother is Silas Mann, the Headless Horseless Mann. Owner of a mansion, haunting that very mansion. Shown in the first picture posted. They ran "Zephaniah Mann and Sons, Quarterly Munitions" Together.
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Its a tradition for Mann sons to kill the other siblings. Its why there was such a rivalry between the Mann twins (erm, Triplets).
Our Admin apparently knew already, was already observing the situation...
She was waiting.
What, did Zephaniah Mann do?
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Why does the administrator hate him so much?
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Does it have something to do with a little girl...
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... Who can't remember how her parents died.
The man in the picture wears a Towering Pillar of Hats. While that's just the TF2 Timeline Aesthetic... there is another significant element.
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Its in Coal Town, surrounded by Hales. While its the "Booths" hat, it was around, clearly, before Bilious was a baby--in Barnabas Time.
Zephaniah and Sons would become Mann Co, after being given to Barnabas.
What, did Zephaniah Mann do?
Easy.
He murdered the Administrator's father, Silas Mann, and her mother, out of "Tradition", and then claimed that HE was an ONLY CHILD like the selfish self-centered bastard he is.
And Our Administrator ensured, even through vengeance that lasted centuries, to a point where she didn't even remember why she started, that it would Never Continue.
Vengeance of a little girl who lost her parents.
Arguably, in comic lore, the torn picture isn't exactly accurate anymore.
Because that Gray Mann in the center, and our Mann Twins didn't even know there was a Gray Mann, and in fact, most of the people in the picture didn't even know about him. And if they took a picture, then clearly, someone would've known.
So its more than likely, a portrait or lore symbollic only. Only meant for the fans, to know what we're looking for and Who, about the time of the first Halloween Events.
( Look it took decades to get all the comics, mate, its not gonna be a craft masterpiece. We get what we get. )
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simplyholl · 2 months ago
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Home For Christmas
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Summary: When your mom puts pressure on you to bring a boyfriend home for Christmas, you turn to Bucky for help.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Southern F. Reader
Warnings: Reader is Southern. Smut. 18+ ONLY. Minors DNI. Fake dating. Maybe a little blasphemous? Fingering in a church. Getting fucked by a peppermint stick.
*A/N: I am Southern. I couldn’t get the idea of bringing Bucky home to the South for Christmas out of my head so this was born. Sorry if this is shit. I’m just getting back into writing again.
Mammaw = grandma
Pappaw = grandpa
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^^ this is the peppermint sticks I’m talking about in the fic. I don’t know what they are really called.
See My Masterlist Here
The compound was bustling with Avengers and employees getting ready for the holidays. Everyone was going home or leaving with another member of the team. Everyone except for Bucky. He was quiet and kept to himself most of the time.
He is a grumpy asshole usually, so you just avoided him. You didn’t blame him for his behavior, you’d be the same if you were tortured and brainwashed by Hydra for decades. But the thought of him being alone in the huge, empty walls of the Avenger Compound pulled at your heartstrings. You couldn't leave without extending an invitation to him. There was an ulterior motive too. You were nice but he was a lot to deal with. He was sitting alone in the common room, reading a book when you approach him.
"Hey, do you have a minute?" You ask, looking a little weary as you walk towards him. He raises an eyebrow, locating his bookmark and placing it inside his book as he closes it. "So I know we aren’t exactly friends, but I couldn't leave without asking. Do you want to spend Christmas with me and my family?" Bucky's eyebrows furrow together as he looks at you. "You're serious?" He asks, resting his chin on his fist.
You nod your head, waiting for his answer. "Why would I want to do that?" It was a fair question; one you had even expected. "I just thought you might want to have some company, have a home cooked meal. Nobody should have to spend Christmas alone." He looks at you suspiciously, “What’s the catch?”
You bite your lip, damn he was good at reading you. “Okay, you got me. So my momma has been hounding me about finding a nice man and settling down. Which is crazy. I’m an Avenger and that’s not enough for her. But she is dead set on grand babies and planning a wedding. So I might have lied and told her I had a boyfriend to get her off my back. I also might have told her I’d be bringing him home with me. So, if you come with me maybe you could help me out and pretend to be my boyfriend?”
Bucky laughs, a low gutteral sound escaping him. “No way in hell, princess.” He smirks. “I’ll stay here, order takeout, and get a break from all of you idiots. Why would I want to go home with you and play the part of your doting boyfriend? We barely talk.” You sigh. He made a good point. And if the shoe was on the other foot, you wouldn’t want to help him either.
But you were desperate. You didn’t want to disappoint your mom. She was really excited that you had a serious boyfriend. So you sink to your knees in front of Bucky, putting on the biggest pouty face you could muster. You bat your eyelashes and try to work up a few tears, but they wouldn’t come. “Please Bucky, I’m begging you. I’ll do anything.”
You look into his blue eyes hoping this would work. There had to be something he wanted. Then you saw it, a little flicker of something in his eyes. “Anything?” He asks with a smirk. “Yes. Name it and it’s yours. I’ll do your laundry for a month. I’ll scrub your suit after missions. I’ll cook all your meals. Whatever you want.”
Bucky smiles wolfishly at you, his flesh hand coming up to your face. He cups your cheek, looking into your eyes before dropping his gaze down to your lips. His thumb rubs against your bottom lip as he holds his gaze on you. “So I go home with you, spend Christmas with your family and pretend I’m your boyfriend?”
“Yes, my very serious boyfriend who could pop the question at any time.” I add making sure he knew what I expected. “Fine, I’ll do it.” You look a little surprised but quickly hide it. You thought it would take more convincing. “But I want boyfriend privileges.”
“What does that mean?” You ask, a confused expression on your face. “It means if I’m going to pretend to be your boyfriend I get to enjoy everything a boyfriend would, including having sex with you.” He smirks. Your eyes go wide. “You want to have sex with me? You don’t even like me.”
“You’re right. But I want you. If you want me to play the part then that’s my condition.” You don’t have to think about it, not really. You have eyes. Bucky is a handsome man. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t want to sleep with him too. But you didn’t want him to know you were eager so you pretended like you were thinking about his offer. Instead you were thinking about his metal hand wrapped around your throat. “Deal.” You stick your hand out to him and he shakes it.
You were an idiot. That was the only explanation you had. You were five hours into a ten and a half hour car ride. The gps kept adding minutes to the trip and traffic was crazy. You should have booked a flight, but you wanted to drive. Now, you were dealing with an aggravated super soldier who was cussing the other drivers on the interstate. You didn’t dare complain when he went over the speed limit or when he gave the finger as he was passing another car. But you did sneak glances every few seconds at him.
He was so hot all riled up like this. The blue vein in his neck throbbing, the wild look in his eyes, the death grip he had on the steering wheel. You had to hold yourself back from offering to blow him right here in the car.
The trip down south was long and almost torturous. When Bucky wasn’t yelling at the other drivers, he was fighting with you. But you survived. When you see the big sign welcoming you to your home state, you couldn’t contain your excitement. You point out all your old hang outs, telling Bucky stories about your childhood as you drove through your town. Finally, he pulls into your driveway. Your Mom’s, Mammaw’s, and Aunt’s houses were all decorated for Christmas. You loved that they were all neighbors. Most of your family lives pretty close by.
You get out of the car, letting the cool air hit you. You take in your surroundings. The trees were bare from shedding their leaves but it was still beautiful here. Bucky gets out doing the same. You both carry your bags to your old childhood bedroom that your mom had set up to accommodate the two of you. You give Bucky a tour since nobody was home. He stops to look at the big Christmas tree with presents underneath. He looks at the ornaments, turning over one you had made in Sunday School when you were a little girl. He looks like he is about to make some smart ass remark when he freezes.
His eyes land on something and you follow his gaze to the stockings your mom hung up. They were all red velvet with your family’s names embroidered in gold cursive on them. They were all filled to the brim, some candy poking out of the top. Bucky touches one gently, a look of disbelief on his face. Then you see it too. Your mom had gotten him a stocking. It was hung right beside yours. And in the same gold letters as everyone else’s, ‘Bucky’ was on it and it was overflowing more than the others.
“I’ve never had a stocking like this.” He admits quietly. “We were poor and my ma just got us oranges and apples. She would bake a cake and we might get one gift . A toy gun for me, a doll for my sister. Nothing like this.” You grab his flesh hand, rubbing your thumb along the top of it. You’re interrupted when your mom comes in. Her eagle eyes on your hand in Bucky’s, a huge smile on her face.
You run to her, giving her a big hug. “Momma, this is my boyfriend, Bucky.” You gesture to him, and he walks over shaking her hand. “I’m James Barnes, ma’am. But you can call me Bucky.” He flashes her a huge smile and she blushes. You roll your eyes. He was really laying it on thick.
After you caught up with her and Bucky answered all of her questions, you all go over to your Mammaw’s house. She was watching Bonanza on tv. She loves those old western shows. She and Bucky talked for ages about them. Apparently, he was a fan too. You and your mom carried in wood for her stove while he kept her company. “We are gonna have to borrow the neighbor’s wood splitter again. We have almost used up all her chopped wood.” Your mom tells you.
“I can split it.” Bucky offers. You give him a surprised look. “You will?” He nods his head. “Just show me where everything is. I’ll take care of it.” You shrug and take him outside. Showing him where he can bust the wood. You give him a an axe and some old work gloves before heading inside to watch westerns.
After an hour, you go outside to check on him and bring him some water. When you go back in, you find your mom and Mammaw at the window giggling like school girls. “What?” You ask. Your mom motions you over and you look out the window just in time to see Bucky take his black henley off. His muscles are slick with sweat. He swings the axe down forcefully and the muscles in his back move sinfully. Your eyes nearly pop out of your head.
You hear your Mammaw gasp as he continues chopping the wood. Your mom pats you on the back, “You did great, honey.” You giggle, actually giggle. You can’t help it. He looks incredible and you’re glad he came up with the whole sex idea or else you would put your pride aside and beg him to fuck you. He busts the last piece, propping the axe up against the wood pile and heading toward the house. You’ve never seen your Mammaw run so fast to get back in her rocking chair.
You take Bucky to visit your Pappaw. He showed him his gun collection. Which you think was his way of threatening him. Your pappaw sends you out to get lunch for everyone, but keeps Bucky there with him. You’d love to be a fly on the wall. Pappaw is probably giving him the whole ‘what are your intentions with my granddaughter’ talk. When you left, he shook Bucky’s hand and told you he was a fine young man. So their talk must have went well.
The next night, you and Bucky were going with your mom to watch the church Christmas program. That was one thing about your mom, she raised you to be a Southern Baptist and you were expected to go to church if you were home. This time was no different. You put on a long sleeve dress, fix your hair, and put on a little mascara. Bucky is wearing dark jeans and a long sleeve button up. Your sister, her boyfriend, your Mammaw and your Pappaw were all at the church too. They sat on your mom’s usual pew, three up from the back on the left side.
There wasn’t any room for you and Bucky so you sat behind them. The church was unusually full, but they were expecting a lot of people to come. That’s what happens when there’s a Christmas program and a dinner afterward. People loved free food. All the little old ladies you went to church with your whole life came over to gawk at Bucky.
They were giving him peppermints and hard candies from the bottoms of their pocket books. They were hugging him, and feeling his muscles. They all told you how good you had done in getting a man like him. They told him how handsome he was. They pinched his cheeks. And one even pretended like she needed help walking back to her pew. But you had seen her just moments ago running over to scold a child who was trying to stick his finger in the cake she baked for after the program. Bucky took her arm and led her to the front of the church. Her grip on his muscled arm tight the whole time.
Finally the choir started singing and the program begins. You shivered, regretting your decision to not wear tights. The temperature in the church varies. It was either freezing or you were sweating. You grab a blanket off the back of your mom’s pew and laid it on your lap. You scoot closer to Bucky, hoping his body heat would help.
The children get up to start their part of the program. Bucky lifts the blanket and puts it over his left side, his metal hand underneath it. Your breath hitches when you feel the cold metal of his hand on your bare thigh. You look at him questioningly. He smiles and winks then turns his attention back to the children singing. His hand moves higher until it stops at the edge of your panties. Your eyes go wide and you put your hand over his, a silent plea to stop.
He reaches over with his flesh hand and moves your hand away. He moves his cool fingers under your panties, sliding them against your center. He gathers your slick, bringing it up to your clit and swirling his vibranium thumb. You grip his thigh and try to pay attention to the program. He slides two fingers inside you and you bite your lip to stifle the moan that escapes you. You’ve never been more thankful for the kids’ loud off key singing.
You look around to make sure no one is paying attention to you. Thankfully everyone is watching the program or taking pictures of the kids. You lay your head against his shoulder, making it look like you were cuddling your boyfriend enjoying the Christmas show. When you were really just trying to hide your face as it contorts in pleasure. Bucky’s fingers set a brutal pace as his cool thumb worked your clit. It was all too much. How he looked yesterday chopping the wood, how everyone loved him, the way he was taking you apart in the one place he absolutely shouldn’t. One more curl of his fingers and swipe to your clit and you were falling apart on Bucky’s fingers in church with your face buried in his shirt.
Finally your last day home arrived, Christmas Day. Your mom made a huge breakfast that your family came over to eat. Then you sat in front of the tree to open presents. You all started with your stockings. Truthfully, you were more excited to watch Bucky open his than to see what was in yours. He dumped it out. Candy, chocolates, candy canes, all kinds of treats spilled on the floor. Bucky’s whole face lit up in a smile. He had never looked more handsome.
He opened the gifts your mom got him, a couple shirts and a watch. He thanked her graciously. Then you hand him the gift you were eager to surprise him with. You ordered it online and had it shipped to your mom’s house and she wrapped it for you. He looks surprised as he opens it, a record player and some old records you had to pay an arm and a leg for. They were hard to find too. You asked Steve what music Bucky liked back in the day and you searched for days to find them on vinyl.
He pulls you in for a hug. “This is the best Christmas I’ve ever had.” He whispers in your ear. You hold him tighter. The rest of the day is spent watching Christmas movies and eating cookies. Your mom set up a hot chocolate bar on the table with marshmallows, whip cream, sprinkles and peppermint sticks. It was a cute idea she got from Pinterest.
That night, you hug your mom goodnight as she heads to bed. You and Bucky stay up a little longer. Bucky was acting a little weird. He went out to the shed where your mom stored her Christmas decorations and he was being secretive. When you asked about it, he told you it was a surprise. So you stopped asking questions and tried to finish watching The Year Without A Santa Claus. When it was over, you went to your childhood bedroom where Bucky had been for a while.
“Can I come in yet?” You ask as you stick your head in the doorway. When Bucky nods, you shut and lock the door behind you. “Strip.” He commands. You don’t hesitate. You would walk on hot coals barefoot if he asked you to. You place all your clothes in a pile on the floor and stand bare before him. “Get on the bed.” He gestures with his vibranium finger. You lay down and watch as he pulls something out from under the bed. Old Christmas lights that your mom didn’t use this year.
Bucky must have been in here untangling them. He holds your wrists above your head and wraps the lights around them. Then he brings it down your arms and to your chest. He binds it around your breasts and over your stomach. You try to move your wrists, but it’s too tight. Not enough to hurt but maybe a little uncomfortable.
He stands at the foot of the bed admiring you. “Perfect.” He grabs the mug of peppermint sticks your mom had set out off the dresser, twirling one between his fingers. He lays on the bed between your legs pressing a kiss to inside your thigh. You feel his scruffy cheeks against your thighs and you shiver. He leans his head down and licks up your center. Bucky’s flesh hand grabs your thigh, spreading your legs wider.
He looks up at you from between your thighs. His blue eyes never leaving yours as he puts the peppermint stick in his mouth. He twirls it between his lips, getting it wet. He removes it with a plop, and he brings it down, sliding it inside you with ease. His warm tongue flicks your clit, the peppermint making it tingle.
You moan as he swirls his skilled muscle around you. Bucky works the peppermint stick slowly moving it in and out. Each time he puts it back inside you, he angles it to reach that spot that makes you see stars and your toes curl. He rolls his tongue over you as he pumps the peppermint stick faster.
You arch your back and try to get closer to him. You want to reach down and tangle your fingers in his hair while he tastes you. But you can’t move your arms because of the Christmas lights he tied you with. Bucky removes the peppermint stick and brings it to his mouth, sucking your arousal off it. He moans, looking in your eyes as he slurps you off it.
He lowers his head again, his now icy mouth closing around your clit. He sucks you between his lips, his tongue flicking against it gently. You writhe underneath him as he holds your hips down with his metal arm. He slides the peppermint stick back inside you as his lips tug your clit. He moans against you and that’s your undoing. You cry out as your orgasm crashes through you, wrecking you. Bucky keeps up the good work until your shuddering subsides.
The next morning, you both tell your family goodbye. Bucky packs all your belongings into the car and you start the long journey back to the compound. This time instead of yelling at the other drivers, Bucky holds your hand the whole way. “I can’t wait to come back next year.” He tells you with a huge smile on his face.
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