#they went from confused to anxious to extremely uncomfortable

[lilislegacy]

*on some quest, post heroes of olympus. idk probably some point while they’re in college*

annabeth: we should go to the base first, then to the ship

percy: no, we should go to the ship first, then to the base, then back to the ship

annabeth: um, no? that will take unnecessary time. we need to get supplies from the base to bring back to the ship

percy: yeah, but we should examine the ship and talk to the crew first to see if we need additional resources, because there’s a storm coming now. and if we do need stuff that we don't know about now and we do your idea, we'll have to go to the base, then the ship, then back to the base, then back to the ship.

annabeth: but i already know what we need, so you’re wrong

percy: no, you don’t, because you’re not a sea expert like me and the crew. so you’re wrong

annabeth, glaring at him:

percy, glaring right back:

annabeth, still glaring: i am so hot for you right now

[oneshotnewbie]

Part two of the new, usual oneshot, with Olivia Benson? It was soo good!!!

Authors note: Because I'm in a good mood today, here's a second oneshot for you. Have fun reading, my sweet ones ♥

ᕚ---ᕘ

“Could the CSU salvage anything else?” Olivia asked everyone around as she swiveled her head in all directions to look around. She was extremely afraid for you, concern written all over her face. Your phone was in her hand, but the blood could be from anyone in Manhattan. Maybe you lost it and someone who was bleeding tripped over it. At least that is what she tried to tell herself so as not to panic and get lost in it.

"No. Other than the cell phone and the blood, we have no clues about what really happened here yet," the blonde answered her immediately and delicately placed her hand on her best friend's shoulder. She tried to calm her down with circular movements, but secretly she knew that every muscle in the lieutenant's body would only relax when you were back safe. "When was this found and by whom?"

"The call came in at 4:36am from an William Jacobs. He has already been driven to the station and is waiting to give his statement." the brunette stood rooted to her spot, leaning against the railing of the Central Park and feeling the rain slowly creeping through her coat while her blouse slowly soaked.

Her gaze had shifted downwards, silent tears that mixed with the pelting rain running down her cheeks. In the blurry vision she saw black boots walking towards her and when she raised her head, Fin was standing right in front of her, holding an umbrella over her figure. They walked back to their car together. When they got there, Olivia fell into his arms and began to cling to him for support. She felt as if the ground beneath her feet was slipping away. "Where is she?"

"We will find out but first you have to calm down. You will not help anyone that way."

He watched as she nodded slightly, wiping away her tears and trying to put a soft smile on her lips that she only partially managed. She sucked in the cold air and took a seat of her black Volvo. Only when the seargent had sat in the passenger seat did she start the car, traffic moving slowly.

When they arrived, Olivia Benson walked briskly into the building, her brow furrowed as she nervously climbed the stairs. Their direct destination was the interrogation room where William Jacobs was taken. She noticed that Fin was following her, but she did not pay any attention to him, just wanted to find out as quickly as possible where her fiancée was.

As she entered the small, cold room where he sat, Olivia greeted him as warmly as she could. "Hello, I am Lieutenant Olivia Benson," she sat down across from him and opened a small notepad to write down whatever information she could. The brunette saw the man sitting there slightly anxious and uncomfortable, his eyes on the door when the door opened and someone walked in. "Seargent Fin Tutuola."

Annoyed, she rolled her eyes and tapped her fingernails impatiently on the table. This was not happening fast enough for her and she looked at her partner slightly angrily. "Mr. Jacobs, you found the cell phone this morning. Have you noticed anyone who may have been acting strangely?" he tried to control the conversation in order to take some of the burden off his boss's shoulders. "No, I was jogging when I saw the cell phone. When I went there, I saw all the blood."

“Then you called the police?” The brunette now also spoke up, letting her pen play between her fingers. She was hoping for some clue to start with, so far she had nothing except the difficult amount of blood that you could not have inflicted on yourself. "Yeah, I did not touch anything. I swear."

Both detectives nodded in agreement and quickly rose from their chairs. One after the other, they shook hands with William Jacobs before all three of them left the room together and went their separate ways.

The air was stuffy and burning as Amanda entered the precinct and looked confused at the closed door to Olivia's office. She had barricaded herself and pulled her blinds down. Biting her lip, she walked towards the office and knocked before walking in and watching her boss hold the framed picture of the two of you in her hands.

"I have something for you," the blonde spoke firmly and placed another bag on her desk that was filled with something dark in color. “Is that her wallet?” She asked aggravatedly and looked worriedly at the older woman as she realized through her widened sad expression that she had hit the mark with that assumption. It was yours. "The CSU people found it in one of the nearby trash cans, we have not looked in it yet, we wanted to leave it to you. But all the fingerprints we could find were already taken."

Olivia took the evidence bag and opened it. The wallet landed in front of her nose, on her closed laptop. Grabbing two disposable gloves from one of her desk drawers, she placed them over her hands and opened her wallet. She immediately saw a photo of the two of you together, which you always carried with you. Exactly the same one that she had on her desk.

Shaking her head hastily to clear away the tears and thoughts that were welling up, she pulled out more items, including a folded old piece of paper and a silver key. But the only thing missing was your ID card. A strange feeling came over her, one that made her heart beat faster while at the same time making her feel sick.

"A key?" Amanda stated in surprise and also pulled a pair of disposable gloves out of her pocket to take the silver material. The brunette passed it on to her without words, still staring at the folded paper she held in her hand. With shaking hands she unfolded it, the corners of the paper already torn, the writing once written in pencil barely visible. Only with her glasses could she see the thin lines of numbers written in your handwriting, a small saying underneath. -In case something happens to me-

"Amanda, please find out where the key belongs immediately. Y/n did not have it in her wallet with that number and those words for nothing.“

The person addressed nodded before looking into the thoughtful face of her best friend. "Do not worry, Liv. It is not the end of you two. Trust me, we will find her." Olivia's gaze tore away from the image she had been staring at for a long time and forced a smile. "Thanks, Manda."

[belovedrayne]

Zip – Coffee is a Hell of a Drug – Sehihel

There is a large difference in the amount of caffeine in tea versus coffee. For example, black tea, when brewed heavily, can contain on average of 47 mg of caffeine. Some stronger varieties could potentially go up to 90 mg. Green tea typically ranges from 20-45 mg, and white tea has around 6-60 mg. Now, take coffee. A regular cup of coffee starts off at around 95 mg. Naturally, brew it heavier and there is more. Espresso can have 58 mg in just a single ounce. There is a point to this, reader. Just bear with the poor Miqo’te telling this tale.

               Sehihel didn’t know any of this information at the time of this story. She mainly drank green or white teas and while she had a nice expanse of teas, she normally stuck with what she knew. So, when she saw her friend drinking a rather black looking liquid she learned the name of it. “Coffee”. The ex-gladiator probably should have known what it was but in truth she didn’t. So, she went to a coffee house not too far from where she lived and looked over the menu. One fancy word stuck out to her. She points to it and asks for it. Though, when she receives it, she is puzzled by how small the cup is. It’s not nearly the size of the cup F’zali had been drinking from. Several thoughtful moments pass before Sehihel gathers the courage to return to the counter.

               “Excuse me. I’d like this, but in a bigger cup? Like, this big?” A scarred hand motions to the eight-ounce mug for regular coffee. When the barista pushes back, concern in their face, the miqo’te nods enthusiastically. She didn’t want a sample she wanted to try the real experience.  Dubiously, the barista figured if the woman was going to pay for it then he would make it for her.  A few minutes later and Sehihel is back at her seat with a mug of espresso.

               At first, her nose crinkles at how bitter the flavor is as it strikes her tongue. It was stronger than she had expected, but she powered through. Within a few minutes the cup sat empty before her and she smiles at the barista who stared at her in awe. “Thank you.” She murmurs quietly to him, bowing her head and moving to leave.  Around the corner from the house, the miqo’te presses a palm to her chest as she feels suddenly very anxious. There was a lot going on in her life, so she pushes through it.

               The sound of a leaf skittering across the ground causes the woman to turn and look in that direction. Her pupils dilate and her already extremely fluffy tail, floofs up even more. One ear gives a twitch. Catmode.exe is activated. The miqo’te bolts after the leaf, trying to grab it as the wind carries it away from here. “Get… back… here! Oh!” She bolts over to a water feature, slapping her hand into it as she tries to catch some of the Koi. “Come. To. Mama!” She grumbles. Thankfully, her short attention span soon has her bolting off toward another sound that catches her ear. Zipping through a neighbor’s yard, knocking over several of their outdoor decorations, trying to grab the wind-chime hung too high over her head for her to get it.

               Thirty minutes later, F’zali walks up the walk to his home and pauses, tilting his head and looking up into the tree. A furrowed brow, a slightly opened mouth, and a confused expression lands on his face as he watches the woman currently clinging to the tree limb like it was a giant, rough, and uncomfortable teddy bear. Back tracking the claw marks left on the branch, down the trunk and a dismayed sound rumbles in his throat as he sees his torn-up garden. “I am going to charge you triple for that.” A chuff passes his lips next and he moves inside, still wondering why his friend was sleeping in the tree. One look on his allagan security cameras and he heaves a heavy sign, saving it to his tomestone. He was going to absolutely use this to blackmail his crackhead friend later. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

I pictured Sehihel as this comic the whole time I was writing this:

[loopspoop]

Guess what I decided to do? Write! Welcome to the first chapter of the Midnight Jacket AU! The boys are having a rough time with the normal amount of Lupin violence! Hope it’s enjoyable! It’s angsty as hell! Stay tuned for more!

“Don’t be so hasty. I want the brain of a genius villain.” Dr. Mad observed him through the door. He would make an excellent specimen…

“Brain?” Lupin hesitated, frowning more. He wanted his brain? Not this tired plot again!

“That’s right. That’s why I coughed up 30 million to buy you. Let’s get to work right away.” Dr. Mad smirked, lifting his cane as he grabbed the handle.

“Wait. First I have a question. Jigen. Where’s my partner Jigen?” Lupin stood and quickly made his way toward the door. He needed to make sure he was here and safe.

Dr. Mad pulled his tranquilizer gun from the handle of his cane. He pointed it through the bars, aiming at Lupin. He needed to start his work soon.

“Wait, wait, wait! Wait a minute!” Lupin’s eyes widened as he took a step backwards. Shit shit shit shit-!

Dr. Mad pulled the trigger, the tranquilizer hitting Lupin square in the forehead. He watched as the thief stumbled back against the wall before falling to the ground unconscious. This was going to be a grand experiment!

Goemon stopped in front of the cell door, frowning as he looked inside. Two weeks in this prison hadn’t been easy on Fujiko and Jigen. They were both dirty and definitely needed a good meal. It was odd that Lupin hadn’t gotten them out sooner…or contacted him…

“You two look like you have seen better days.” He spoke up, causing Jigen and Fujiko to look toward him.

“Goemon! Fuck- took you long enough!” Jigen stood, going to the bars quickly. “Where the hell is Lupin?”

“Yeah! He’s got some nerve leaving us in here for this long!” Fujiko stood, dusting herself off. “He better have a good reason for it or else he owes us big time.” She pouted, crossing her arms.

“I have not heard from Lupin since the three of you went missing. I heard he was sold to Dr. Mad from Inspector Zenigata in passing.” Goemon frowned, slicing the bars quickly before stepping back so they could fall.

“Wait, so…you haven’t seen him at all?” Jigen hesitated, stepping out from the cell as he looked around. What the hell?

“No. I was hoping he was with you two..if that is not the case then he must be somewhere else here..” Goemon frowned, looking down the hallway as he handed Jigen and Fujiko their weapons he had found on his way in. Something was really off….

“What do you think Dr. Mad has done with him?” Fujiko frowned, looking down the hallway worriedly. She certainly hadn’t figured he would’ve been in any danger.

“No idea.” Jigen frowned, checking his Magnum over. “Fujiko, scout us a getaway car. Goemon and I will meet you outside with Lupin in five minutes.”

Fujiko frowned, nodding a bit. “You two better get him and yourselves out in one piece or I swear I’ll sell all of your stuff online.” She wouldn’t really do that…but the threat was hopefully enough motivation.

“We will be back together, that’s a promise. Now hurry.” Goemon nodded, gently ushering her toward the way he had come from.

Fujiko gave them one last glance before running off for the exit. Goemon and Jigen watched for a moment before exchanging glances. They began their search of the rest of the lab, hallway after hallway. This building was confusing as hell and…why did this doctor need 35 plus storage closets?! All of the doors were either cells or closets…rarely a lab, but not one with Lupin inside. Jigen was getting anxious, which meant he was also getting prickly. Lupin was never this hard to find any other time someone tried to trap them. Something was up..it was making them both increasingly uncomfortable as thoughts of what could be wrong kept growing in their minds and getting more extreme.

“Something is wrong..” Goemon mumbled, gripping Zantetsuken tighter as he glanced around. He was good at staying calm but…this situation made him anything but calm…

“You’re telling me..Lupin usually isn’t this hard to find..or this quiet..” Jigen frowned, cracking a nearby door. “How the hell is this another storage room-?!” He hissed angrily. How the hell were they supposed to find him-?!

“Shh-!” Goemon’s hand quickly found its way over Jigen’s mouth. “Listen.” He looked at him as he frowned.

From down the hall they could hear the faint sound of rattling chains and something thudding against metal. Goemon took his hand off of Jigen’s mouth, glancing at him as he stepped toward the door silently. Jigen followed, holding his magnum tightly. Whatever this was…it was either Lupin doing something stupid or Lupin in a bad situation. Hopefully it was just him being a dumbass and they could all chew him out for it later…but somehow it seemed less and less plausible as they got closer to the sounds.

The two took position on either side of the door, Jigen’s hand on the doorknob as he looked at Goemon. Goemon nodded, holding up his hand as he began to silently count down from three. Whatever was on the other side had to be related to Lupin. They held their weapons tightly, Jigen throwing the door open once Goemon’s countdown ended. They both quickly ran into the room, Jigen’s Magnum raised and Goemon ready to unleash Zantetsuken and-

They stopped, eyes wide. Jigen nearly dropped his Magnum and Goemon faltered. The sight before them…this..was this actually Lupin? This was a joke right? A dummy put by Lupin for the doctor to find at an inconvenient time..? But dummies didn’t breathe, especially not the fast, shallow breathing of someone in severe pain. No, this was actually-

“Lupin-“ Jigen quickly made his way to his side, crouching beside him. Shit…

“What did he do to him..?” Goemon breathed, standing anxiously behind Jigen. This was all wrong..

Lupin sat against the wall, his wrists shackled and his legs bound. He was littered with fresh wounds and his body..his left eye was gone..and his left arm and both of his legs…and it was all replaced with metal. Burns littered the skin around the metal implants, the areas around the implants and wounds looked angry and painful, definitely infected. His body trembled, despite how much he was sweating, rattling the chains and causing his head to knock against the wall from time to time. That explained the banging.. He was stripped down to his boxers, his body looked dirty and worn down. He seemed…smaller..than normal. It made them both sick to their stomachs to see Lupin in that state. He just looked..wrong.

“Son of a bitch..” Jigen frowned, his hands raised but unsure of where to touch. “We need to get him out of this..” he began looking for locks on the shackles.

Goemon frowned, his face tense as he quickly cut through the cuffs and the binds around his legs. They needed to get Lupin out of here. Whatever ideas this doctor had were all sorts of twisted and disturbing. He should’ve come sooner to get them out of this..

“Okay, boss.” Jigen took a breath, gently trying to maneuver Lupin to get him off of the ground. He could’ve thought of a way out, he should’ve known Lupin wasn’t well off if he didn’t come for them…

Lupin jerked, gasping out raggedly as he began to weakly push away from Jigen and struggle. He was nowhere near conscious, but he knew being grabbed meant another new pain somewhere and something not feeling…right. Between the increased sensitivity of his cybernetics fused with his nervous system and the infected wounds across his body, everything was too much. He needed to get away, he had to get the hell out of here and get everyone to safety-

“Lupin-! Shit, Lupin, it’s us!” Jigen tried to steady him, grunting when Lupin managed to elbow him in the face to try to get him off.

“Lupin, it’s us! Let us help you!” Goemon tried, grabbing his other side as carefully as one could manage with a struggling, semi-conscious thief.

Lupin whined, struggling more fiercely. Smaller parts of his cybernetics began to break off of his arms and legs in the struggle, causing him to cry out. He had to get away- the others needed him! Something was wrong! He needed out! Escape-! Escape, escape, escape!

“JI-gEN-!! Go-GOEMON! Ple-EASE!” Lupin began to scream out hoarsely, jerking and twisting against the hands grabbing him. He needed out, he had to get out! He screamed louder, tearing up as he thrashed and hollered desperately. “FUJI- PLEASE! PL-PLEASE!”

Jigen froze, his grip slackening as his eyes widened. Goemon quickly let go of Lupin, his eyes frantically going to Jigen. They had never, ever, heard Lupin this desperate or pleading. They had never seen him so earnestly panicked, near tears. Lupin was a lot of things, but he was never this terrified in all the years they had know him…

“Lupin..” Jigen carefully took his hand in his own, his grip light. “It’s us. We’re right here, Lupin.”

“We will not let any more harm come to you.” Goemon frowned, gently trying to support Lupin with a hand on his back.

Lupin trembled, gasping and panting as his hands fumbled. He looked toward them, his eyes unfocused as tears streamed from his right eye. Was it really them? Or was this a hallucination brought on from pain? Could he handle it if it was a hallucination…? If he was hallucinating at this point it wasn’t good…

“Easy, Lupin. We’ll get you out of this, alright?” Jigen spoke softly, squeezing his hand faintly. He was going to kill that bastard doctor..

Goemon nodded, his thumb stroking against Lupin’s back softly. “Breathe. Everything will be alright. We are here now.”

Lupin whined softly, slumping toward them as he struggled to grasp more consciousness. “Jig’n…Go’mn…” he slurred, his body losing strength from the fight he had tried to put up. He hoped it was actually them…this being a hallucination would suck…

“That’s right. It’s us. Just take it easy and we’ll get out of here just fine..” Jigen carefully repositioned Lupin, holding him bridal style as he tried to stand. “Shit- he got heavy-!” He hissed, struggling a bit to stand.

“It must be all this metal..” Goemon frowned deeply, studying his replaced limbs. How could someone do this..?

“It is. And if you know what’s good for you, you’ll put my project down and surrender yourselves now.” Dr. Mad snarled, holding his gun as he stood in the doorway.

“You-!” Jigen growled, holding Lupin closer as he stood behind Goemon. He couldn’t fire and hold onto Lupin, Goemon was their best bet.

“‘Project’?! How dare you!” Goemon glared angrily, his grip tightening on Zantetsuken. “Lupin is a person, not a machine or a specimen to be studied!”

Dr. Mad scoffed, smirking. “With a brain like his he could be the perfect super weapon! I’m merely improving the body! Once he is under my control fully, there will be nobody who could stop me! A genius thief with an indestructible body can get me anything I desire!”

Jigen scowled. This guy was disgusting… what the hell had Lupin gone through in his time here? How much had he suffered while they were just down the hallway? Was he even going to be able to recover from all of this? He glanced at Goemon, frowning more. They needed to get out of here and get rid of this bastard…

Goemon narrowed his eyes. “We failed Lupin before, but not again. You will never lay a hand on him again!” He unsheathed Zantetsuken, lunging at the doctor quickly

Dr. Mad fired at them, causing Jigen to duck out of the way behind a table with Lupin before he side stepped Goemon. “I’ve studied you too, samurai! You would all make perfect additions to my cyborg army!” He shouted angrily. “You can’t beat me!”

Jigen ducked as a bullet narrowed missed his hat, glancing at Lupin as the man flinched and trembled. He wasn’t doing good.. “Goemon!” They needed to hurry up and get the hell out of here…

Goemon glanced back at Jigen, his eyes flicking to Lupin before his clenched his teeth. Jaw set, he sliced across Dr. Mad quickly, sliding back in front of the table before clicking Zantetsuken’s sheath shut again.

Dr. Mad’s gun dropped to the ground in pieces. He laughed, looking at them as he smirked. “You-“ he hesitated, choking as his eyes became unfocused and blood began to pool at the front of his suit. “…missed-“ he gasped, stumbling forward before he fell onto the ground, blood spilling out around him.

Jigen frowned, stepping out from behind the table. “Good riddance…” he mumbled, stepping up beside Goemon. “Let’s get the fuck out of here..” he started toward the door.

“Mm..” Goemon grimaced at the body in disgust before looking back at the lab. He quickly grabbed some notebooks that were at a nearby desk and slipped them into his kimono before following Jigen. They would need all the information they could get..

The two made their way through the halls silently, only their footsteps were heard besides Lupin’s whining and shallow breathing. They’d have their work cut out for them in treating his wounds. Fujiko wouldn’t be pleased about this either, especially since they had definitely taken over five minutes..When they stepped outside, Fujiko glared at them from the getaway car.

“You assholes! What kept you so-“ she hesitated when she saw Lupin, her eyes widening. “…oh my god-“.

Jigen stepped up to the car, frowning. “We need to get to a hideout. Whichever is closest. We need to lay low for a while.”

Goemon opened the back door, getting in as he helped Jigen lay Lupin half across his lap and half across the backseat. “Preferably something well hidden.”

Fujiko bit her lip, taking a breath to steady herself as she nodded. “Alright…alright, I know a place.” She got into the car, starting it up quickly.

Jigen got in, glancing back to Lupin through the rear view mirror. He was obviously still in pain..and he looked like shit in light outside the dark lab. Pale and tired..dirty and wounded…he wasn’t used to seeing him that way..

Fujiko drove, keeping her eyes strictly on the road. She didn’t think she would be able to drive if she looked at Lupin too much… “what happened to him?”

“That doctor..” Jigen growled, grabbing a cigarette his pocket as he frowned. “Wanted to make him into some sort of cyborg to help him steal shit..”

Goemon frowned, running his fingers through Lupin’s hair to soothe him as he held him steady. He looked uncomfortable to begin with but the bumps in the road weren’t helping either..

Fujiko frowned, glancing at Jigen. She might not read Jigen as well as Lupin could..but she could tell whatever they had seen wasn’t something anywhere near good…she could at least assume that the doctor was dead and relax a bit about that..not that any of them would even be able to begin to relax any time soon. For now, they had to find a hideout that was secure enough for them to stay for a while while they sorted this out…

[thegroundsofbrooklyn]

thoughts on west endsies because now that i've been five times i feel like i should hop on this bandwagon

(below the cut)

- mark. mark's mike is so clearly extremely anxious and uncomfortable in large crowds a lot of the time. when he comes on behind specs after they raise the prices he's fidgeting with his necktie and he looks so small and. i live for this okay

- more on that. mike is the last newsie to leave the theatre after jack scabs and when he goes up to jack he looks so vulnerable. god i want to give him a hug

- race covers romeo's eyes during that's rich mocking the way davey covers les' and i love it

- damon's davey. i have so much to say about this. he's so different from ryan's davey in that his anxiety manifests itself as being EXTREMELY uptight and straightforward ?? and the way he gets more and more comfortable over the course of the show ... so normal about it fr

- the javey with damon's davey is MSDJSNF because damon's davey is that little bit more physical and up-close and it makes the javey like. 15x stronger

- ross saying "IT'S ABOUT TIME" when jack and katherine kiss during the finale

- jomike. platonically or otherwise it is so real in this production it is so canonical and i will die on this hill. last time i went mukeni fully picked mark up bridal-style while they were waiting for their papers. they're besties your honour

- speaking of. ralbert. this is an entirely different breed of ralbert and it's so perfect. they feel ?? older ??? more mature but not in the make-sensible-decisions way just in the make-stupid-decisions-despite-having-properly-thought-them-through-and-knowing-full-well-they're-stupid way

- ngl during seize the day they fully nearly dropped matt if morgan hadn't been standing behind him and caught him he would have gone splat

- speaking of. morgan's finch is a parrot crossbill sorry i don't make the rules

- i am headcanoning specs and albert as having evening jobs working at medda's theatre because they operate the lights during that's rich. it's canonical guys you heard it here first

- owen had a fake moustache for bill ... i do not enjoy that at all <- he is petty and does not like change (also the colours of bill and darcy's costumes are switched around from livesies and it is SO confusing. the suits are so gorgeous but please my poor brain can't handle the confusion)

anyways this was a long time coming i might add more next time i see it (like. two and a half weeks) (look forward to it)

[aesop-and-fiends]

I’ve decided to use this partially as something to get something off my chest, because for some reason it won’t climb off. I really need some advice.

About a year or so ago, there was an incident involving a friend of mine and myself. I’ll call this person Garret. Garret and I were at a friend’s (calling them Jamie) 17th birthday party. We had been friends for a long time, since primary school, and had recently reconnected after time apart due to myself moving house and schools. So, it was myself, Garret and Jamie, roleplaying together like old times. It was good. For context, I had been roleplaying separately with Garret for several years prior, and we had come to get to know each-other’s characters rather well. However, I always felt an odd dependence in our relationship, which was validated one day when Garret randomly blocked Jamie and I in a discord server we shared. When I tried to contact Garret through their phone number, they confessed that they were in love with me and had been for a very long time. At the time, I was in a relationship that I had been in for 2 years prior to this message, with a person I am still very much in love with, so the message hit me as quite a shock. Nonetheless, I tried to be as understanding as I could. We talked, and Garret later revealed that some of the ways in which I described certain aspects of my character’s deeds were too graphic and made them deeply uncomfortable (I am a horror writer at heart). I understood this and apologised for upsetting them, we set boundaries and moved on. However, not without an air of confusion between us, and a degree of discomfort on my part. Over the next few months (for which Garret was in a relationship) Garret began discussing the idea of polyamory and platonic friendships with me. I should have told them to speak to their partner rather than asking me, but I was 16 and very naive. Back to the birthday party. It was myself, Garret and Jamie in their caravan, drinking, being silly and roleplaying. This is a good time to mention that Jamie unfortunately was pushed to the side in a lot of our role plays due to the fact Garret and I role played separately and tended to have lengthier answers than that which Jamie liked to write. For the first couple hours, things were going really well. However, after involving a plot in which my character died on the shoulder of Garret’s character and was miraculously revived, I realised I was no longer comfortable and tried to remove myself from the situation discreetly by checking my phone, so as to not make either Jamie or Garret uncomfortable. It was Jamie’s 17th after all. My partner was anxious about me being so far away, so I was texting them. Meanwhile, Garret was eager to get back to a plot, which I understood, but tried to reaffirm to them that they had their own partner so they should understand why I was texting mine (not in those specific terms, but rather more a nudge). I do not believe Garret is a bad person, however they did not ask for my consent for what is to follow. The next scene they wanted to do involved their character turning into a dog and whimpering in pain, and required me to scratch their hair. (Important to note here that Garret LOVED touching my hair and would often be quite touchy with me in public, which seemed innocent enough until their confession). They did not ask for my consent in any of these occasions, as far as I remember. This was a year ago, but I remember these instances being quite sudden. This scene involving Garret the dog made me extremely uncomfortable, to the point where I couldn’t move. However, I said nothing. I didn’t want to upset Jamie and ruin the night for Garret, so I played along. The next morning, Garret joked about how in the night I had apparently cuddled up to them in my sleep. Considering everything, I went into a trauma response (I am an SA survivor and was SA’d in my sleep as a child so the mentioning of this was VERY triggering for me.) I discussed my discomforts with Jamie after Garret had been picked up (I have been friends with Jamie since I was 2, whereas I had been friends with Garret since I was 12), and Jamie urged me to discuss things with them. I did.

It was a normal conversation, and I asked if we could not do that again because it made me uncomfortable. I have since deleted all the screenshots unfortunately, all I have is my word, however I would say this went well. After telling my partner about what happened, they were furious and wanted to meet Garret, so I added them to a server under the guise of us roleplaying all four of us (myself, Jamie, Garret, and my partner who I’ll call Lucian). The server was silent. Then, when I asked if anyone wanted to roleplay, after many ‘college is hard and I’m busy’ comments, the flood gates opened and Jamie and Garret went into a full war. There had always been conflict between the two, and I admit, there were some things that Garret raised against Jamie that I had to agree with, but in the end I chose Jamie over Garret as my friend, because they have been for me through thick and thin. I also later discovered that Garret had been being odd towards his at the time partner who i’ll call Bea. They broke up, as per Garret’s request. After this, I lost my shit. All that pain and confusion and anger came spilling out in a very ugly way. Garret blocked me again on discord, so I texted their number to ask what was happening, to which they blocked me again (a year ago, can’t remember exactly, but I suspect this is the case). I then found them on Tumblr. They blocked me before I could have my say in the argument, and I was furious. So, we argued, and they later blocked me, after blaming me for their suicidal thoughts and intent to hurt themselves (I am also a suicide survivor). This was the end of it for a while. I still don’t understand how it escalated from us sorting the problem to resolving it. A year later, I saw Garret in a hot chocolate shop in the city near where I used to live. They entered after me, and upon seeing me, immediately left. I sent them a message (on my new tumblr account) to apologise for making them uncomfortable and that I was now out of the shop if they wanted to go and get one. They then called me a variety of horrible names, blamed me for all of their trauma, and compared me to Mr. Hyde from Jekyll and Hyde. They also said I was cruel even as a child and that they were a fool for ever trusting me because myself and Jamie are just as bad as each-other and are both horrible people. I was shocked by this. I did not wish to be made into a punching bag, however I also did not want to escalate the situation. I appreciate the friendship we had, and while I understand it had to end, I do not believe I am an evil person. I tried to explain I would be in the city (which has quite a small city centre) A LOT over the next few weeks so they should be prepared to see me. I also told them that if it was triggering for them to see me, that I would be in a set of specific locations on specific days, and thus to avoid those locations if they did not want to see me. More horrible names, more comments about me being an abuser and a manipulator. I didn’t want to upset them, I just wanted to be helpful and prevent further upset. I understand perhaps I was the fool in that situation. After discussing this with Bea however, with whom I have found a strong friendship, apparently this was not out of character for Garret, and they often showed this behaviour in their relationship. I understand love is a hard thing to deal with, but I still don’t understand. I know I should have set boundaries, and regret not doing so, but I had never expected them to not ask for consent and brag about the unconscious returning of their affections, which I was deeply uncomfortable with, especially when they knew I was in a committed relationship.

I can’t help feeling as though I can’t now move on, and am weighed down significantly by this (this is not to say I deny that Garret went through a hard time, I believe they did). I understand I wasn’t perfect and could have dealt with things better and more logically but I was distraught and dealing with my hog of fair other things at the time. This is not to say I have not apologised for where I went wrong, I have. However they have yet to apologise for what they did. Am I wrong for wanting them to apologise? How do I move on from this?

[behindthewanderlust]

Hello! You popped up on my feed and I see you don't seem to have any requests yet, so I decided to try and help fill the requests void a little bit! ♡

Could I get some headcanons for the band with an s/o who loves affection, but rarely initiates it because they don't wanna bother anyone so sometimes they just kinda sit somewhere quietly for a while until the band members figure out the deal is? Thanks in advance!

Thank you SO much for sending in my first request. I’m still learning how to write these four, so I apologize if it isn’t the best.

This came out later than I wanted. Tumblr deleted the post and I had to rewrite some things T-T

But it’s here! I apologize for the wait

Hope you enjoy!!

Possible trigger warning for mentions of anxiety

————————————————————————

Russel Hobbs

As much as he loves affection, Russ enjoys having his personal space

You knew this, and were afraid that your affection may be making him feel uncomfortable or annoyed

You started to withdraw from Russ in an attempt to make him more comfortable in your relationship. You initiating kisses, hugs, cuddle sessions, etc., was far and few in between

He's not the most clingy guy so he wouldn't notice your behavior at first.

He just assumed that you were just like him!

As time went on, though, he began to pick up on something that was going on

Always a firm believer in communication, Russ would sit you down and ask you why you've been initiating less and less, if he's done anything to make you uncomfortable, and all that jazz.

Once he found out your reasoning, he hugged you tight

He told you that his misses your affection

And that just because he isn't one who wants to be touched 24/7, it doesn't mean he doesn't want your affection at all

Reassures you that although he does enjoy time to himself, it doesn't mean you're annoying or bugging him in anyway!

The two of you came up with a plan to communicate better so a situation like this wouldn't pop up again

He'd make sure to tell you if he wasn't up for contact so you'd be less worried about bothering him

You also promised to come to him if you felt this way, instead of withdrawing

When you two finished talking, he invited you to grab a bite to eat :)

2D

Probably the most clingy and affectionate out of all members

Bc of this, he'd pick up on what was going on quickly

May not know the exact reason for your withdrawal, but immediately notices you doing it

Confusion pops up first, followed by anxiety

He thought your relationship was going pretty well..?

He began to wonder if you weren't feeling well

Or if you weren't in the mood for physical touch

Or if you had been tired recently

Or if he did something to make you upset

Or if you didn't like holding him anymore

Or if you fell out of love with him

Or if-

Okay okay I'll stop but the point is, 2D does nothing but overthink the situation

He'd probably (unknowingly) start to initiate less and less himself!

Which would probably leave you confused

Now you're both confused and overthinking messes

You'd probably be the one who starts the conversation

Asking him why he's been looking so anxious and deep in thought recently

And then he just spills

Asking if he did something to make you upset

Why you've withdrawn from him

If you still even love him

And you immediately feel bad because you withdrew initiation because you didn't want to be a bother

And now he's upset!

It felt like a complete and total backfire on your end

You explained to him that you didn't want to bother him, so you started to initiate contact less

And he just looks at you like "WHAT???"

You already know how affectionate 2D is, so he's quick to knock those thoughts out your head

He just latches onto you and doesn't want to let go

He loves holding you

He loves when you hold him

He makes sure to repeat this over and over to you

He doesn't want you feeling like you're a bother

He needs you and your affection

Noodle

I hc her to be extremely observant

I feel like you have to be if you grew up the way she did

So l'd imagine she'd be the quickest out of all the members to catch on to what you were doing

And why you were doing it

She just didn't know how to bring it up without sounding confrontational

It was a conversation topic she did have to sit on for a few days

She did feel more and more lonely each day she didn't talk to you about what was going on

Noodle missed the hugs and cuddles :(

Don't get me wrong, she still gave you her love and affection, it just didn't feel right without you doing the same

She decided to talk to you during one of your movie nights

You had sat on the opposite side of the couch instead of sitting next to her like you usually do

So Noodle walked over to sit next to you

She told you she's noticed you initiating less contact

And that she assumes why you're doing it

And you confirm her assumptions - you don't want to be bother

Her face softened when she found out she was right

She felt awful knowing you were afraid of bothering her

The whole conversation was basically Noodle asking you questions

How long have you felt this way?

Was there anything I did or said to make you feel like you were a bother?

Why didn't you come to me about this earlier?

Bare with her, she hates seeing you feel this way

You answered all her questions thoroughly, apologizing for withdrawing

She asked for you to communicate with her more and come to her when you feel like this, which you agreed to

You asked her for some cuddles while you watched your movie and Noodle agreed, suddenly remembering that it was your movie night Imao

Murdoc Niccals

Murdoc isn’t the most affectionate guy

It just something he wasn’t used to

So you’re the one who initiated most of sfw contact

You learned that he didn’t like being affectionate in front of the band

So contact was mostly kept in his room or in the Winnebago

He found out he liked cuddling. He liked when you played with his hair

But he wouldn’t initiate it, that was on you

He would sometimes drop hints that he wanted to be hugged and you would pick up on it

He was finally comfortable enough to hold your hand

And he’d sometimes ask you to sit next to him while he played his bass

Since you mostly initiated, Murdoc noticed when you started to withdraw from him

Cue the internal panic

He hasn’t had many good things in life

Your relationship is probably his first serious one

And he’s afraid of fucking it all up

Not one to beat around the bush, he’s quick to confront you

He asks you not to leave him

And you’re like, “what makes you think I’m leaving??”

You’re told that you’ve been withdrawing a lot, so he assumed you were done with him

You tell Murdoc that you aren’t leaving, you just initiated less because you didn’t want to bother him

He has this “ohhhh” moment or realization

He appreciates you not wanting to make him uncomfortable

But he still misses you

He told you that he’s fine with being touched

And that he wouldn’t mind you doing it again

In fact, he wishes things would go back the they way they were

You picked up on the fact he was trying to say he missed your affection without directly saying it

You apologized for withdrawing and he accepted it, you only had good intentions

He told you that he’d try to be more affectionate

And you said you’d do the same

It did take some time for things to go back to the way they used to be though

You still had the lingering feeling that you were bothering him, despite knowing that wasn’t the case

And it took him some time to be more affectionate but he did put the work in

The two of you appreciated the effort the other was putting in

The day he asked you to cuddle with him is what made all the work worth it

It was like you both reached a new step in your relationship

It definitely took some time, but you both got there with enough determination <3

————————————————————————

That’s it for my first request! I hope it was good! Writing this was definitely a challenge, but it was a welcome one <3

Again, thanks for sending the request in!

[allthingsfangirl101]

The Only Cure–Steve Harrington

Wattpad request by Harringtonswife-

In the eighties, no one talks about their mental health. You're either healthy or insane. I tried talking to my parents about it but my dad doesn't believe in all that "mumbo jumbo". My mom told me it was all in my head and if I stayed there, she'd have to send me to a mental hospital.

The only person who responded in a positive and supportive way was my best friend, Steve Harrington. When I told Steve that I was struggling and wasn't able to fix it or get out of the dark hole I seem to continually throw myself into, he was the one who suggested that I might be struggling with depression. He then wrapped me in a hug and promised that he would always be there to pull me out.

Even though Steve was extremely supportive, I found myself a little hesitant to run to him. After I told him, he slowly started to change. He constantly checked on me, jumped to protect me before anything happened, and eagerly helped me with anything no matter how small.

Our friends didn't notice Steve's change. He always seemed crazily protective of me to them. They aren't wrong, but I've noticed his changes. At lunch, he started draping his arm across the back of my chair.

I was worried our friends would notice and, most importantly, notice how it made my whole face burn. All of that would disappear when I started getting anxious and Steve would move his arm from my chair to my shoulders. I don't know how he always knew when I needed his comfort, but he did. Without fail.

Today was no different. The day started with my alarm not going off and having to get ready in ten minutes. Then my mom's car wouldn't start so my dad had to drop me off at school before he went to work. It only got worse from there.

First period, I could barely stay awake. Second period, I had forgotten we had a math test and I definitely failed it. Then I got paired with the dumbest player on the basketball team for our history project and he was more focused on flirting with me than getting any work done. Now I was heading to lunch.

"Hey, you," Steve said the second I sat down. "You okay?"

"She got paired with Andy for the history project," Carol laughed.

"That sucks!" Tommy laughed.

"I bet he's going to flirt with you the whole time," Carol fake gagged. "Then again. . . He's pretty cute."

"She could do better," Tommy scoffed. "Right, Harrington?"

Steve reached under the table and grabbed my hand. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "If he gives you any problems, tell me."

"Steve," I started but he cut me off.

"I mean it, Y/N. If he says anything that makes you feel uncomfortable or, I swear, if he touches you. . ."

"Dude, chill," Tommy laughed. "He hasn't even done anything yet. They just got assigned today. Wait until next week to kill him."

Steve rolled his eyes and went back to eating without letting go of my hand. He looked over, his eyebrows fluttering in confusion.

"Why aren't you eating?" He asked softly. "Aren't you hungry?"

"I am," I said, clearing my throat.

"Then why aren't you eating?" Steve pushed.

"I was running late this morning and didn't have time to make my lunch," I explained under my breath.

I looked up at him when he pushed his lunch between the two of us.

"What are you. . ."

"Eat," he said.

"But Steve. . ."

"If you think I'm letting my best friend starve, you're crazy," Steve laughed as he ate a grape.

"Skipping lunch is not going to make me starve," I giggled, hiding my blush. I looked away and cleared my throat when I saw Carol's knowing smirk.

"Oh," Steve said in the middle of Carol and Tommy's latest fight. "Dustin wants to know if you're coming to watch their D&D campaign tonight."

"I don't know why you guys spend so much time with those kids," Tommy scoffed. "They're a bunch of little. . ."

"Don't finish that sentence," Steve cut him off, his voice changing. I squeezed his hand that I was still holding under the table.

"So?" He asked as he turned toward me, his tone changing again. "You in?"

"Sure," I shrugged. "Although I'm a little surprised you want to go sit in the Wheeler's basement and watch them play D&D."

"To be honest, I'm not going to watch them play," Steve said, not looking at me.

"Then why are you going?" Carol asked, almost sounding like she knew the answer to that.

Steve looked up and glared at her. He then saw me watching him and softened his glare.

"I'm going to hang out with you," he said, his cheekbones slightly turning pink.

"We hang out all the time," I giggled, eating some of the cheese Steve packed.

"And he just can't get enough," Carol said sweetly.

I looked away when Tommy started to 'aw' but it turned into a gag. I started to let go of Steve's hand, but his hold on mine tightened.

"Do you hear yourself?" Tommy asked harshly. "You two are best friends. You blow us off all the time to be with her. How many times have you skipped a party because Y/N wasn't going to be there? Or she needed someone to help her study. Or that lame excuse you always use that you'd rather spend time with her."

"I would rather spend time with Y/N than with you," Steve said, his anger building.

"You're practically glued to her hip," Tommy scoffed. "I'm surprised she doesn't know that you. . ."

I stood up and quickly ran out of the cafeteria. Steve and Tommy have been fighting a lot more over the years. Each time they start, so does my panic attack. I ran to the bathroom, locking myself in a stall.

A few seconds later, I heard the door open. I held my breath, waiting for them to leave.

"Y/N?" Nancy's voice echoed through the bathroom. "I saw you run in here. You okay?"

When I didn't respond, she added, "Steve's looking for you. He seems really worried. There's no one else in here so I'm sending him in."

I heard soft footsteps walking toward the stall I was hiding in. I looked down and instantly recognized Steve's sneakers. I took a shaky breath when he knocked.

"Y/N," he whispered. "Please open the door."

With shaking hands, I opened it. I instantly wrapped my arms around myself, stepping away from the door.

"I'm sorry about running away," I stuttered under my breath. "You know how I get when you and Tommy start fighting. I hate that it always sends me into a panic attack, but I can't control it."

Steve grabbed my arms and pulled me into his chest. He sighed as he wrapped his arms around me.

"I'm sorry we started fighting in front of you," he whispered. "I just hate how they treat you. It infuriates me when Tommy makes our friendship seem like a joke. Next time, just punch me in the arm and I'll stop."

"I'm not going to hit you," I said with a small giggle. I tightened my arms around him as I added, "I could never hurt you."

                                * * * * *

Over the next couple of days, I struggled with my depression. I started having mini panic attacks every day. Steve caught most of them, and with each one he stopped, a worse one was hiding until he wasn't around.

I woke up today, stuck in my pit of depression. I spent the morning, not able to put a smile on my face. I hid my face behind my textbooks and notes. No one seemed to care. But then again, I don't see Steve until lunch. The class before lunch, I looked down and my hands started shaking. I was starting to have a panic attack and I couldn't stop it.

As soon as the bell rang, I jumped up and left the classroom. "Geez. Slow down, weirdo."

I looked up, my heart jumping into my throat when I saw Carol and Tommy standing in front of me.

"Off to your dear Stevie?" Carol cooed.

"We all are," I mumbled, tightening my arms around my books. "We're going to lunch."

"When are you going to admit that you're obsessively in love with him?" Tommy scoffed.

"What?" I stuttered. "I don't know. . . It's not. . ."

"Aww!" Carol giggled. "It's so cute that she pretends she doesn't know."

"Steve and Y/N, sitting in a tree," Tommy started singing. As they sang the rest of the song, they started dancing around me.

"What are you guys doing?" Steve asked as he ran over. He brushed past Tommy and grabbed my hand, slightly pulling me behind him.

"We weren't doing anything," Carol sighed, rolling her eyes.

"It didn't look like nothing," Steve scoffed. "It looked like you were. . ."

"Stop," I whispered. "Please, Steve. Stop."

"Y/N," he said, turning around to face me. I looked at his soft eyes and then at the knowing, judgy looks of his friends. I couldn't take it anymore. I pulled my hand out of his and turned on my heel.

"Wait!" Steve yelled but I didn't stop.

I didn't stop until I got to my car. I drove home and pulled into my usual spot. I turned off my car with shaking hands. I slowly got out, barely able to get my breathing under control. I froze when I turned and saw Steve jogging up the driveway.

"I told you I was fine."

"I know," he smiled at me. "But I also know the signs that you're stuck in one of your depression episodes. And if I don't act fast, you'll just go deeper into it."

"I don't know why you feel like you have to act," I said, looking down at my feet. Steve stepped toward me and gently lifted my head.

"Because you're my best friend," he whispered. "It's my job."

"Steve. . ."

"I know what I can do to cheer you up."

"Please don't," I sighed.

"Take the old records off the shelf," he started to sing. "I'll sit and listen to 'em by myself. Today's music ain't got the same soul. I like that old-time rock 'n' roll."

I giggled and playfully pushed him. He caught my arm and pulled me into my chest.

"So now are you going to tell me what Carol and Tommy said to you?"

"It's not a big deal. . ."

"Y/N," Steve said knowingly. "Talk to me."

"They were making jokes about me going to find you," I explained. Before he could ask why that would send me into an anxiety attack, I continued, "Then Tommy pointed something out that I realized he was right about."

"What did he point out?" Steve asked.

"That maybe. . . That there's a possibility that I. . . I doubt it's the same for you but. . ."

"Hey," he whispered. He gently wrapped his arms around my waist and smiled down at me. "What did Tommy point out?"

"He suggested," I said slowly, "that I might. . . have feelings for you."

Steve's breath got caught in his throat as he studied me. He loosened his arms, taking a small step back.

"Do you?" He asked under his breath.

"Maybe? I'm not sure, honestly. . . Would it be a bad thing?"

Steve smiled as he reached up and gently cupped my face in his hand. "I guess not," he whispered. "Especially because I might have feelings for you."

"You do?"

I held my breath as he slowly leaned in. He stopped when his nose pressed against mine. I felt lightheaded when his breath touched my face. He slowly leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. The lightheadedness got worse as our lips touched.

"Of course I do," he whispered, breaking the kiss. "Would it be a bad thing?"

"I guess not."

[nofoundboy]

Could you write a steve Harrington x ftm reader fluff? Where the reader comes out after Steve and them have gotten closer. Masc pronouns aswell please :)

I hope you like it 💖 I absolutely loved making this

"Hello" a slight smile is present on Steve's lips and those brown eyes that you like so much look at you with a sweetness that you don't think possible in anyone else.

The truth is that you would look more closely at this kind of details if it weren't for the fact that you are extremely nervous. Your hands are sweating and your mouth feels drier than any desert.

You invited Steve over to watch movies together alone. Not that you didn't like being with Robin, Dustin or Eddie, but sometimes you just wanted to be alone with Steve. Especially after realizing the kind of feelings you harbored for him.

You and Steve had kissed on only one occasion, once when things had gotten pretty honest in the woods.

And in spite of that, neither of you had tried to do anything else, you mainly because of the issue that had you terribly mortified and anxious that afternoon.

You knew how trustworthy Steve was, how attentive, pleasant and cute, but you didn't know how he would react to your news.

For quite some time you had noticed how uncomfortable it made you to be referred to by female pronouns, or how terrible you found it to be to be called by your full name. Socializing as what you weren't was killing you and you knew you had to tell someone. And Steve was that perfect someone.

As you prepared the popcorn, sodas and other snacks, you kept thinking about how it would affect the little thing you had together. Would Steve still like you if you confessed to him what you were? Would he still support you? Would he tell anyone? Even though you knew it was highly unlikely that Steve would treat you badly for it, it was still terrifying to think about telling someone after keeping it to yourself for so long.

"So...Friday the 13th?" Steve asked from the living room, holding up the tape. That snapped you out of your musings and you decided to return at last, with everything you needed on a tray.

Steve took the soda and helped you pour it while you put the snacks on the coffee table.

Your hands were shaking and you were very thankful that Steve didn't notice. One part of your brain urged you to get it over with, while the other insisted that it was better to be cautious and wait.

The movie went on without your mind giving you a break, so you decided it was time to rip the band-aid off the wound, or your mind would never shut up.

"Steve...I have to tell you something" you paused the movie and the brown-haired man's look changed immediately. Steve knew perfectly well that when a person said that, a serious conversation was always coming and he hoped with all his heart that it wasn't anything bad.

Also, the optimistic part of his being hoped it was about deciding to have an established relationship.

His eyes were wide open, attentive to whatever you had to say and in no mood to rush you or stop listening to you.

"I'm a guy" you blurt out, regretting the next minute that you didn't say it more tactfully.

You notice the way Steve's gaze freezes, confused by what just left your lips.

The delay in his response prompts you to explain yourself, as you place a tentative hand on his shoulder.

"I don't...I don't feel right like this, ok? I'm certain I'm a man, no matter what I look like. I know I am" the conviction in your voice lets Steve know that this is a similar situation to Robin's, only, given the town you live in, it's quite difficult to fully understand it.

Steve's mind spins, trying to comprehend what you just told him. It's strange to him cause he's never heard of such a case before, but of course, it's you and he can't imagine cutting you out of his life just because of his confusion. He loves you so much that he notices the way your eyes are searching for a way out.

You're thinking of all the negative possibilities of his reaction until he wraps you in his arms.

You cling to him trying not to cry with happiness.

"So...what's your name now, do you want to go get your hair cut? We can also go shopping, or I can give you some of my clothes" you know it won't be so easy for him to assimilate, but the way he takes the news, helping you almost instinctively, lets you know you made the right decision.

You kiss his cheek softly. He will always be there for you.

[forever-emo-phase]

Mission Status: Sick!

Notes: Hello this is my first fic for Sanders Sides! It is inspired by @illogicallyinclined​‘s hockey AU! If you haven’t ever gotten into it, do it! However, you can still read even if you don’t know anything about the AU! Characters: Virgil, Logan

Ship: The whole thing is pretty much just analogical pining Warnings: Panic attack is described Genre: Just guys being dudes being gay. Fluff maybe? It’s not sad and that’s all I can tell you. Summary: Which is how Virgil arrived at his current situation, Logan tensely sitting at his desk in the middle of the night with shoulders so tight he looked like he was seconds away from shattering.

'It's a good thing that my homosexuality is stronger than my pride', Virgil thought as he opened a capri sun and violently squeezed it onto his sheets.

Check it out on Ao3 here! https://archiveofourown.org/works/33804841

Anxiety sucks. Virgil’s nails are always bitten down to the quick, hands never still, and the insides of his cheeks chewed and raw. If Virgil had to find a bright side, it would have to be his ability to read people. With just a look, Virgil could tell by the slump of his shoulders when Roman needed a little bit of extra praise. He would notice the redness around Patton’s eyes and know that he would need more company than normal. 

But the one person Virgil prided himself on seeing was Logan. It was almost second nature for him to sense the tension in Logan’s shoulders without even looking, he could almost feel it in the air. He could see when Logan needed to get out of his head and stop pushing himself before he broke. 

Dealing with Logan’s emotions, however, was slightly harder. If his approach was too physical, like he would approach Patton, Logan would withdraw. If he tried to take the same approach he would with Roman, showering compliments tempered with a light bit of teasing, Logan would get uncomfortable and retreat.

Which is how Virgil arrived at his current situation, Logan tensely sitting at his desk in the middle of the night with shoulders so tight he looked like he was seconds away from shattering.

'It's a good thing that my homosexuality is stronger than my pride', Virgil thought as he opened a capri sun and violently squeezed it onto his sheets. 

The thing with Logan is that he doesn’t care about himself. He will push himself to his limit and keep going, but, if someone else needs something? He will help as much as he can, even though sometimes it may not be overly obvious that he is helping.

“Hey Logan?” Virgil says from across the room, staring at his now soaked bedding. 

“Yes, Virgil?” Logan doesn’t look up from his computer as he sharply replies. For a moment Virgil wonders if this scheme was the best idea, it could fail horribly and Logan could be angry and refuse. But, the wheels were already in motion, his sheets were already wet, and there was no turning back.

“I fucked up.” He said plainly, watching as Logan’s head turned so fast to look at him that he was surprised that he didn’t hear a crack. Realizing how ominous his statement was, Virgil raised his hands and quickly spat out a placating “No it’s okay i’m fine!”

Logan let out a sigh before replying “What did you manage to do that was so dramatic that it required that statement, while I was sitting in the same room, only a handful of feet away from you?”

“Well…” Virgil started, choosing his words very carefully to make sure his plan could not fail. “I was panicking a little bit while I was drinking my Capri Sun and I squeezed it a little bit too hard. It spilled on my sheets and my bed is soaked now.” 

Logan’s eyes assessed Virgil, making him momentarily wonder if his lie was believable. Did his dishonesty show on his face? Was Logan about to get angry and yell at him? His hands began to shake slightly and his breathing picked up and, he thought wryly, at least now he wasn’t lying about being anxious. His fears were eased when he saw the slight softening of Logan’s face. 

“Oh Virgil,” Logan huffed out, his face morphing into an expression of fond exasperation, “You need to stop having drinks in your bed, especially ones of the extremely spillable and sugary type.”

Virgil shrugged, “It is what it is, you know?”

“It does not have to be the way that it is?” Logan said with a hint of confusion sneaking into his voice. “You can very easily change the circumstance.”

A small chuckle escaped from Virgil as he watched his roommate struggle to wrap his head around the statement. Logan was extremely smart, that was obvious, but watching him puzzle out modern slang and sayings struck Virgil as endearing every time. “It’s too late to change it now, you know?”

“You are correct.” Logan intoned and Virgil could already see some of the tension leaving Logan’s shoulders as he began to relax during the conversation. “Do you have a plan for drying your bedding before it is time for you to sleep?”

“Not at all.” Virgil said as he absentmindedly brought his hand to his mouth to bite his nails, but stopped as Logan let out a soft click of his tongue as a reprimand. As he lowered his hand, he absent-mindedly wondered if Logan was even aware that he had made the sound. Either way, Virgil found it incredibly sweet. “I’ll probably just sleep on the floor. My pillow is dry.”

Virgil made a show of picking up his pillow and feeling around for a dry blanket so that he could make a temporary bed on the floor, however, he was quickly interrupted.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Logan scolded lightly, “You can sleep in my bed. I will be up for a significant while longer doing work, it is no problem at all.”

Everything was falling into place for Virgil and he had to resist the urge to steeple his fingers together like a Bond villain. But his work was not finished, there was still one more task- Get Logan In The Bed.

“Dude no!” He exclaimed, “I’m not taking your bed! You’ve gotta sleep at some point!”

“Virgil,” Logan sighed, “I have a lot of work to do that I need to get done soon. I was actually planning to get up and pour myself some more coffee.”

Shit. If Logan got caffeine into his system, it was game over. His plan would fail and he would just be in Logan’s bed, and while that wouldn’t be the worst thing, it was not the plan. Panicking, he blurted out a quick “No!”

“No?” Logan said with a raised eyebrow, “What do you mean?”

‘Now or never’ Virgil thought to himself, before delivering the line that had inspired the whole plot.

“I wouldn’t feel okay with taking your bed, just in case you decided to sleep. Could we just share for the night?”

Logan looked puzzled, “I suppose, but I have already told you that I am not necessarily planning on sleeping tonight.”

“I know but.. I would feel bad.” Virgil said, his anxiety rising now that he was this far into the plan and there was truly no turning back. “Could you just… Would you just lay down for a minute? It would make me feel better.”

Judging by Logan’s expression, Virgil was convinced that he had lost Logan. His plan had failed and he felt a burn of shame in his chest, clenching his eyes shut. God he was so stupid! He should have just refused the offer to take Logan’s bed and slept on the floor! He should have not even tried this stupid plan! Virgil had not noticed his breathing picking up and his fingernails burying themselves into his palms as his thoughts spiraled into a pit of anxiety. He had not noticed until Logan’s voice washed over him.

“Virgil?” He said, somehow both softly and with authority. “Name five things you can see.” Virgil pried his eyes open, not really remembering when he had closed them. “Bed. Computer. Shoes. Water bottle. Posters.”

Logan nodded his head, with a small smile. “You are doing very well. Now four things you can touch.”

“Uhhh…” Virgil hesitated, eyes darting to Logan, “Sheets. Pants. My hair. Wet blanket.”

“Good job. Three things that you can hear now.” 

“Your voice. The air conditioner. Our obnoxious neighbors.” His breathing had started to slow and he could feel his body relaxing.

“Two things you can smell, you’re almost there.”

“Capri sun from my sheets and your disgusting coffee.”

“Last thing, one thing you can taste.” 

“Toothpaste.” With his breathing regulated and feeling calmer, Virgil smiled wryly back at Logan. “I’m sorry. That was… sudden.”

“You are perfectly fine. I have reassured you multiple times that I do not mind helping you.” Logan said soothingly. “Why don’t we go lay down? You are typically quite tired after these events.”

“Yeah… that sounds good.” Virgil said as he stood to move to Logan’s bed, straightening his sleep pants and he went. “Do… are you going to lay down too?”

Logan hummed, walking to his laptop to shut the lid, as well as flipping the main lights in the room off.  “Yes I suppose that I can for a moment. Just to assure you that I do not mind that you are in my bed.”

Virgil lifted the sheets of the bed and crawled under, scooting over so that he was next to the wall, leaving space for Logan to enter. “Alright. I promise I won’t keep you too long.”

“Well.” Logan said as he joined Virgil under the sheets, “I, in all honesty, could use the sleep.”

Virgil smiled at Logan with a soft “Good night then.”

“Good night Virgil.” Logan whispered, reaching up to turn off the light next to his bed, plunging them both into darkness.

The next time Virgil opened his eyes, the sun was shining through the window of the room and his head was resting on Logan’s shoulder. One of Logan’s strong arms was wrapped across Virgil and Virgil could hear Logan’s soft breathing against his ear.

Slowly reaching into his pocket so as to not disturb Logan, Virgil pulled out his cellphone, which was at 9%, and quickly snapped a picture before sending it to Remy with a simple caption.

“Mission accomplished.”

 (And that is the end! Feedback is very appreciated!)

[zemodaddy]

Hey so i finally completed the first chapter of the zemo x reader fanfic. Make sure to read the authors note at the end and i hope you enjoy.!

Synopsis:

Y/n is an ex-avenger who, after the blip was forced to work for the US government. You trained to be an assassin/spy and your gifts of wielding flames made you invaluable. When you were assigned to follow Bucky you find him helping Helmut Zemo escape from his prison cell. What is he up to? Should you stop him?

Warnings: violence, lots of swearing, angst, fluff and in later chapters extreme acts of hatred towards John Walker :)

Shades of Him

They replaced him. They replaced him with a random guy and stuck Steve’s shield on him. You were staring at the TV in disbelief. You thought of Steve like a brother and he definitely wouldn’t have wanted this.

After the blip you had no job, the avengers pretty much all separated and that left you without anything to do, and that meant no income and no income meant no home or food. You couldn’t exactly find a normal job because most people were afraid of you. A trained assassin and spy who could wield flames wasn’t really considered normal. That left you with no choice but to accept the deal the US government offered you. Do their dirty work and you wont end up homeless.

Your newest mission was to track Bucky to make sure he followed the rules set upon him for his pardon. You are close to him, like you were close to Steve. Hiding the fact that you were following him everywhere he went was kind of hard but you managed. You had to manage.

So finding him and Sam visiting a German prison kind of surprised you. Had this got to do with his therapy? Surely not. They left around an hour later and from then nothing more suspicious happened. A quick google search and a deep dive into some public records showed that a high security prisoner resided at this prison. Not just anyone. Zemo.

Interesting you thought. Later that night you followed Bucky and Sam to an old garage. You waited outside for 5 minutes before entering, trying to keep to the shadows of the room. The two men seemed to be in the midst of a heated discussion. “You want Zemo to help us?” Sam looks exasperated. Bucky looks a bit apprehensive as he says “Look let me walk you through a hypothetical, can I do that?” He begins to explain an elaborate escape plan for Zemo. Your mind was wizzing with thoughts as you tried to figure out your next move. He really isn’t in the right headspace, same old Bucky, you roll your eyes. “What are you guys doing?” You step out of the darkness. The two seemed to jump out of their skin, clearly not expecting you to be there.

“Y/n? What are you doing here?” Bucky asks. They both looked so shocked by your sudden appearance that you had to suppress a laugh. “I was following you.” He doesn’t look happy. “YOU WERE FOLLOWING ME?” He raises his voice. You weren’t scared because you knew he loved you really. Keeping the same tone as him you shout back “YES AND YOU’RE HELPING A CRIMINAL” “I SAID HYPOTHETICALLY DIDN’T I”. Sam looks like he could start laughing any moment. You weren’t even sure if you should laugh or arrest them. Suddenly your phone buzzes. “Then please explain to me why I just got a message saying that ZEMO HAS ESCAPED FROM PRISON?” Sam looks mad now. “You’re kidding me Bucky” he says. “Look we don’t have any other leads, we were at a dead end.”

You knew that the two were looking for information on the new super soldiers serum. “He blew up the UN, he killed king T’Chaka!” Before Bucky could reply to Sams argument, the sound of a door shutting sounds through the garage and guess who walks in. Helmut fucking Zemo. Your hand flies immediately to the dagger on the side of your thigh. “Woah woah woah” Sam starts walking towards him as Bucky tries to hold him back. Too bad he didn’t see you slip past them and push Zemo against the wall with said dagger against his throat. “Your going back to prison” you pass him a sickly sweet smile. He looked surprised by you holding him against that wall but didn’t fight back. Not with the blade in your hand starting to heat up against his skin. “y/n let him go” Bucky looks frustrated.

“He can lead us closer to the serum, just let him breath for a second” Zemo did start to look a little breathless. Good, he should be scared of you. Reluctantly you let him go. He starts to talk “if I may”. At the same time the three of you go “NO”. He looked a little displeased by the response but didn’t have any other option but to oblige. “Apologies”. After further debating and a lot of disagreements you and Sam finally agree to trust Zemo.. for the time being anyways. “Alright Zemo, where do we start”

You mentally set a reminder to always have an eye on Zemo, how could you not with a guy like him. He seemed to be sending you anxious glances in return, which to be fair you did nearly choke him to death. He leads you to a large warehouse containing numerous cars of different ages, sizes and colours. Probably stolen you think. After grabbing a case full with clothes for zemo you all head to an airstrip. In the middle of which was a private jet. You look at it in awe. “So you were rich all this time?” Sam asks. “I’m a baron Sam, my family was royalty before your friends destroyed my country”. Shit. Those cars weren’t stolen then..

The mention of his country makes you think back to that battle against ultron. You were very tempted to leave the avengers after nearly wiping out the entirety of a population of a country. But they convinced you to stay, where else could you have gone anyway? You think a little longer about the aftermath, when you helped after the battle with the injured, and loved ones finding their dead. It was one of the saddest moment of your life, until the blip. No one else helped from the avengers, they didn’t even visit the memorial..

“Y/n you coming?” Sam was saying from the top of the stairs. Lost in thought you were stood in front of the plane. Maybe I should stop getting distracted you thought. Entering the jet the seats on the right were already occupied by Sam and Bucky, leaving the only other seat opposite Zemo free. Great. As a gentle reminder you check your dagger on your thigh, almost like a warning that if he tries anything he’ll know what’s coming. Zemo swallows looking where it would be and ask his butler person for a drink. Was that his butler or the pilot? Rich people problems you thought. The plane sets off and you look out of the window daydreaming a little.

The other three talk lightly until the mention of Buckys list, which ends in zemo being choked yet again. You smile a little, enjoying the mini acts of revenge for the people he’s hurt and killed. You feel a bit sleepy but then they start to discuss where you were going. “Do we want to live in a world full of people like the red skull” Zemo shakes his head lightly “that’s why we’re going to Madripoor”. Confused, Bucky explains the place’s history in the Indonesian archipelago. “It’s kept its lawless ways but we cannot go in as our selves” Zemo says. Uh oh that can’t be good.

You were right. Zemo had handed you a bag full of clothes and a pair of heels. You stared at yourself in the full length mirror that resided in the toilets. “You have got to be kidding me” you say aloud. Your were wearing a dark purple silky dress that reached only just halfway down your thigh. It exposed most of your arms, shoulders and a lot of your chest. Thankfully there was a black leather jacket in the bag too, however on the shoulders sat a blanket of fur, similarly to Zemos coat that he took from the warehouse. Your heels were also purple. You thank the lord you took the time to train in heels too because you never know when the situation arises when you happen to find yourself in those monstrous shoes.

“This” you point at yourself “is not happening”. “Ah my baroness has arrived” Zemo says, amusement glinting in his eyes. You glared at the word ‘baroness’. “Here put this on darling, to finish it off”. He holds what seems to be a lipstick in his hand. You already knew what shade it was before taking it from him. “Do you have some thing for purple or is that just me?” Sam and Bucky both laughed.

You had to admit, the dress didn’t look bad, in fact it looked expensive. To say you were uncomfortable was an understatement, not necessarily for what you were wearing, but for the hand now draped around your waist. Zemos hand. He said that no matter what, you couldn’t break character. Bucky was playing the role as the winter soldier; you felt bad for him, the memories this must bring up. You can’t even begin to imagine. Sam however, wore an extravagant and abstract red suit that kind of looked like a dress. It was funny to see his reaction to which he comments that he looked like a “pimp”.

A car pulls up beside you and you all pile in. Of course you were sat next to zemo in the back. After around five minutes you arrive in lowtown. A place where you could apparently find a gall called Selby. That hand snaked back around you as you intermingle with the crowded streets. The high density of the crowd forced you even closer to Zemos side leaving practically no space between you now. You could feel his warm body against yours, sending a shiver down your spine. He looks down on you. His eyes seem to be softer now than they were before and he gives you a quick kiss on the temple as if to reassure you that you’re safe. You tried to keep yourself from shaking him off of you but as you carried on walking, you got used to him a bit more. Sam and Bucky followed the two of you, both with grim faces.

Finally, you come to a bar, most people around you watching carefully as you all enter. Zemo orders the both of you a shot and Sam gets his usual. This turned out to be something containing whatever the barman cutout of a snake. The sight of it made your stomach drop, and to your astonishment, Sam actually drank it. He looked like he wanted to be sick but, no matter what he had to stay in character. Bucky gave a slight nod, he didn’t get a drink, not as the winter soldier.

You had let it be known of who you wanted to see and as you waited a man came up behind Zemo and you. He immediately guided you away from this man so he was in front of you and Zemo in front of the man. He knew you could hold your own, you had made that clear already, but he wanted to protect you. For the act of course. “You ain’t welcome here” the man stated, placing a hand roughly on zemos shoulder as he turned to face him. “I have no business with the powerbroker, but if he insists he can either talk to me” Zemo points at Bucky. His hand then slipped to yours, holding it tightly. “Or bring Selby for a chat”. The man looks displeased and walks away. You had many things you wanted to say to Zemo at this moment, but sticking to your character was more important. As he continued to grip your hand, other men started to menacingly prowl towards you all. Zemo gave Bucky the order to attack and so he did. A fight quickly broke out between them all but Bucky was far too strong for them all. This ended in Bucky holding one of the guys that remained standing against the bar table. Finally someone called to say selby was ready to see your group. This was going to be interesting.

Notes

Okay i left this on a little bit of a cliffhanger but the next chapter should be out in a day or so. This is my first fanfic i have published so I’m interested to see what everyone thinks. If there’s any spelling or grammar mistakes then umm you didn’t see anything. I hope you enjoyed!

@killsandthrills @aisling1985 @booklover2929 @arianalilyblack @your-pixels-are-showing @kenna-1904

[sunshineseung]

Journal Part 4 // Jeongin

🍄 | genre: smut mini-series ☁️ | pairing: Yang Jeongin x female!reader 🌿 | wc: 5.8k holy shit i am so sorry- 🌸 | includes: milf!reader x babysitter!college student!jeongin, plot 🤢🤮, smut within smut (mentions of marking, pet names/degrading names), anal toys (plug), jeongin wears feminine underwear, nipple clamps, mentions of rule breaking/punishment, begging, face sitting, praise, degradation, mentions (not use) of safe word, pegging, the obvious overuse of the word “mommy” and “ma’am”, aftercare, buttered pasta :)

🌊 | One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Finale |

The sound of his own foot tapping was enough to make him more anxious than he already was, and the light shining through the window directly onto his shiny desk to reflect on his eye wasn’t helping. He’s practiced the conversation a million times over in his head. The plan was simple: class ends, ask Professor Lee about his missing journal, and get it back. How hard could it be?

Evidentially, pretty damn hard. All throughout class, Professor Lee was staring at Jeongin, picking on him when no one else would answer easy questions, and overall making his life a living hell just by his presence. 

“Yang Jeongin, come see me.” Minho sighs, adjusting his glasses as he looks up at the clock on the wall of his classroom. “The rest of you are dismissed.” 

Ending class 15 minutes early was extraordinarily unusual for Professor Lee, but the other students hardly batted an eye as they collected their belongings and shuffled out of the room, leaving as Jeongin stepped up to his professor’s desk. He was practically sweating bullets at this point, all of his plans flowing out of his head with every step. The glare Professor Lee was giving Jeongin was intimidating to say the least, but Lee Minho knew all too well what he was going to say.

“You wanted to speak to me, sir?” Jeongin tilts his head, standing over his professor, giving the illusion that Jeongin had the upper hand in this situation. 

“Yes, Jeongin. You left your notebook behind last class, and I just wanted to give it back to you.” Professor Lee opens his top desk drawer, pulling out Jeongin’s journal and holding it out in his hand towards Jeongin. Before his student could grab it, he pulled away, reeling Jeongin in like a fish. “You really ought to be more careful with your stuff. Don’t want anyone else getting their hands on this, do we?” 

Jeongin shakes his head, holding his hand out, patiently waiting for his teacher to put the book into his hand. The room is coated in silence despite the chatter from the hall. Jeongin can feel his heart beating out of his chest, trying his best not to jump over the desk and snatch the journal out of his professor’s hands. 

“So, do you like writing?” The smirk stretching across Professor Lee’s smug face is breaking Jeongin. He feels this odd sense of deja vu on top of the overwhelming anxiety. Jeongin nods again, slightly shaking his outstretched hand, urging his professor to finally hand it over. “Is that what this journal is for? Writing?” 

“Professor Lee, can I please have my journal back? I have another class to get to, sir.” Jeongin dodges the question like a professional, but Professor Lee isn’t satisfied. He laughs in Jeongin’s face, rolling his eyes slightly at the boy’s wit.

“I ended class early. You have plenty of time to talk, Yang Jeongin.” Professor Lee stands up, walking to the other side of his desk and pulling out another chair from a student desk. “Sit down, take a load off. You’re one of my star students. I’d like to get to know you.” 

“Aright, professor.” Jeongin’s staring at the journal, loosely dangling from his professor’s hand. Still, he sits in the uncomfortable chair as the older man leans on his desk, facing the boy. Jeongin holds out his hand again, looking up at his professor with emotionless eyes, desperate to leave this room and go home, because him saying he has another class was a complete lie. Just for right now, Professor Lee wants to play a little game with Jeongin, a game the younger doesn’t even realize he’s playing.

“You don’t have to call me professor. Right now, you can call me Minho.” Jeongin nods, slouching in the chair. “You never answered my question, Jeongin. What do you write in this journal? Notes for class I’d assume.”

“Yeah, notes for class.” Jeongin’s voice cracks as he looks back at the journal, Minho now having one of his fingers between the pages. He winces just imagining what his professor would think if he read a single paragraph on any page. “I need them to study, so can I have it back now?” 

“Well, if it’s just notes, then you’re okay with me reading it, right?” Minho jolts his arm up, opening the book to a random page. Jeongin’s about to run out of the room in embarrassment before Minho holds a hand up, successfully stopping him. “C’mon, Jeongin. Do you honestly think I haven’t already read this?”

If Jeongin had anything in his stomach right now, he’d surely throw up. You reading the journal was one of his fantasies come to life, but this was a bit overkill. He’d never want anyone other than you to read his journal, let alone one of his professors.

“What’s got you so quiet now?” Minho raises the pitch of his voice to taunt Jeongin, playing up the scene. “You’ve had the audacity to write about Y/n in this book nearly every single class, but now that you’ve been caught, you bite your tongue?” 

“Don’t say her name!” Jeongin gets extremely defensive, standing out of the seat to be the same height as his professor. “What do you want from me? Just give me the journal and I’ll go. I’ll even switch out of this class if you want. I don’t care!” 

“Aw, Jeonginnie~” Minho rests his face on his hand, holding his own cheek as he watches Jeongin’s face get red with anger. “Just tell me, how is Y/n doing?” 

“How do you know Y/n?” Jeongin’s confused, unable to connect the pieces to this puzzle. 

“You’re not as smart as you let on.” Minho gets closer to Jeongin, getting right in his face to scare the young boy. “I was her husband. We were your neighbors.”

Jeongin could feel his legs shake, finally connecting every conversation, every question, every action. He steps back, vision going blurry as he’s flooded with memories of seeing none other than Lee Minho in your front lawn, playing with his daughters in the back, or sneaking out to a taxi late at night towards the end of his memories. Jeongin didn’t know your name until he started working for you, let alone know your estranged husband’s name. He felt like such a dumbass at this moment.

“So, how is she?” Minho puts his hand on Jeongin’s shoulder, forcing Jeongin to focus on him. “If you’re going to fuck my ex wife, you could at least tell me how she’s doing.”

“She’s doing well, certainly a lot better without you.” Minho scoffs, laughing at Jeongin’s weak attempt at a diss. 

“And the girls are doing well?” 

“Yup. I watch them every night after my classes.” Jeongin folds his arms, turning his chin up at Minho. How soon he forgets that Minho still has his precious journal.

“So that’s where she gets ya, huh?” Minho brings the notebook back to his face, flipping to a random page, putting his finger on a random line. “Is that where she, in your words, ‘gripped your cock like you’ve wanted her to for so long’? Or did that happen later?”

Half of Jeongin’s brain is struggling to come up with a response, while the other half is thinking about the first time you gave him a blowjob. He’s clenching his fists with anger, hoping Minho didn’t see him starting to pop a boner. 

“What goes on between us is none of your business.” Jeongin jumps forward, finally snatching his journal out of Minho’s hands. He holds his journal tightly in his hands, clutching it close to his chest. “I’ll be leaving now.”

Just as Jeongin turns around to get his bookbag, Minho grabs his wrist and turns him around, once again finding each other inches away from the other’s face. 

“She didn’t tell you anything about me, did she?” Jeongin shakes him off, rapidly walking back to his desk to get his bag. “Answer me, little boy.”

“She’s never said a word about you, Minho.” Jeongin goes for the door, finally seeing his exit within his sights. “Now leave me alone. I’ll see you on Thursday, sir.”

And with that, he’s out. Finally within possession of his journal, he minds his business walking down the hall, heading back to his house that’s less than a 10 minute walk from the campus. 

Just wait until Y/n hears about this.

🍓🍰🐤🍀💐🍯

“He really hasn’t changed at all.” You stare out the window, taking a sip of tea from your mug as Jeongin finishes retelling the entire story to you. “I’m proud of you, Jeongin.”

“Proud of me? Why?” 

“You handled him very well. Any other boy your age would have crumbled under the pressure.” You sit next to him on the couch, putting your hand on his thigh more as comfort than a tactic to get into his pants. Regardless of your intentions, Jeongin can’t help but blush and bite his lip being the horny boy he is. “Lee Minho has a way with words. His charm worked on me in high school, and I’m sure it works on the other students in his classes.”

“Oh yeah, all the girls have crushes on him.” Jeongin covers his mouth with his hands when he realizes what he says. You just giggle at him, recalling some of the sweet, romantic moments you had with your ex-husband before everything went to shit. 

“Well, you know, the girls are going to his house this weekend. Maybe you should come over?” You ride your hand up his thigh teasingly, making Jeongin freeze as if he hasn’t had sex with you literally days earlier. “I’m always so worried about the girls when they’re with him. Maybe you can help me destress, baby boy.” 

“I’ll help you destress, mommy!” Jeongin smiles, mentally clearing his schedule for this weekend. “Can I ask something though?” 

“Ask away, baby. I’m an open book.” You lean back, one arm flailing behind your head as you take another sip from your mug.

“Why did you two… separate?” Jeongin cringes at his own words, realizing he might have crossed a line as your facial expression changes from a soft smile to a frown. “I’m just curious, sorry.” 

“Don’t be sorry. I’ll tell you.” You huff as you sit up, swinging your arms forward so you can straighten your back. “He started acting distant out of nowhere, and some nights I’d wake up to find him gone from his side of the bed. A quick glance at his phone and I saw texts from another woman. I’d rather not get into gruesome details, but that’s the jist of it.”

“You don’t have to get into details. I shouldn’t have asked.” Jeongin shakes his head, leaning on your shoulder to comfort you. You put your arm around his shoulders, pulling him close to you. “Thank you for sharing with me.”

“No, thank you for asking. It feels good to get these things off of my chest.” You sigh, feeling an odd sense of relief. You’ve never talked to anyone about this other than a therapist you had for a brief time before work took over your life.

“So… was he a sub like me?” You nearly spit out your tea, Jeongin sitting up and patting your back to stop you from coughing on the drink. “Sorry! Sorry!” 

You can’t help but laugh at the curious boy, his face getting redder than you’ve ever seen. That’s the hardest you’ve ever laughed in a while. 

“Do you really want to know?” You raise an eyebrow, Jeongin covering his face with his hands in embarrassment.

“I mean… a little.” He uncovers one eye, looking at your cheerful expression and immediately calming down after seeing you aren’t mad. “You’re good at… ya know. You have to have experience being a dom, right?” 

“Actually, I’ve always been the submissive. Do you really think the egoist Lee Minho would let someone else be in control?” You laugh at your own remark, Jeongin catching on and laughing with you. “But thank you for saying I’m good at sex I guess. Although, I don’t know how much of a compliment that is considering you’re a virgin” 

“Hey! I’m not a virgin anymore!” The red-as-a-tomato Jeongin makes a return as you laugh at his defensiveness. “Can I ask… one more question?”

“Jeez, are you interviewing me or something?” You take another sip of your tea as you gesture for the boy to ask away. He gulps, calculating his final question before he has to go home.

“Can I be your boyfriend?” Pause. You stare at the floor, thinking critically to yourself. How can you let down your sweet little boy without breaking his poor heart?

“Jeongin, you know we can’t be together.” You take one of his hands in your free hand, squeezing his fingers between yours as he nods, looking down at his legs. “I’m over 10 years older than you. That would be absurd.” 

“What if no one knows?” He’s really harping on this, huh? “Or can we be another title? Maybe friends with benefits?” 

“Yang Jeongin,” your quiet, commanding voice makes Jeongin look into your eyes, seeing the seriousness in your expression, “I’m your mother’s friend, not yours. I’m not sure how to define our relationship, but if you really want a label, we can be… sex partners. But no one can know that, alright?” 

“I understand.” Jeongin squeezes your hand back, allowing a comforting silence to fill the room. “So, this weekend?” 

“You can come over Friday night. He takes the girls in the morning, but I have work for the first half of the day. I took the weekend off, though, so I’m all yours, pretty boy.” You kiss his lips, getting caught in the taste before you pull back, stay your goodbyes, and send him home for the night before you go to bed for yourself.

When Jeongin gets back to his room, he sighs and takes out his journal, cracking his fingers before laying the pencil on the paper.

I want Lee Minho to pay. I want him to pay for breaking the heart of the woman I love, even if she doesn’t reciprocate the feelings. He must be insane for cheating on such an amazing woman. If mommy marks me up, leaving hickeys all over my pale neck, I’ll boldly wear something with a low-cut so Lee Minho can see all of the marks left by the most beautiful woman in the world. I’ll make sure he knows that I satisfy her more than he ever could. Y/n, if you’re reading this, please leave pretty bruises all over my body. I want mommy to mark me so bad, make sure everyone knows I’m hers. Regardless of the label anyone puts on our relationship, no one can deny that I’m hers. Her perverted boy, her slutty toy, her little prince, all hers. Only hers.

🍓🍰🐤🍀💐🍯

The weekend flies closer than he could have imagined, and after seeing you come home exhausted and drained every single night, nothing pleases Jeongin more than knowing he’s the one that will help you relax. As he walks to your house, he regrets not going to the store and getting lotions so he could give you a massage from his unqualified hands. 

“Hey, baby.” You smile at him, bright and gorgeous as always. You invite him in and offer him a drink, which he politely declines. You notice he’s shaking more than usual, and although he was always nervous and awkward, you’ve never see him get this shaky. “Are you okay, Jeongin?”

“Mommy…”

“Oh, we’re right out the gate with this one?”

“I have a surprise for you.” Jeongin takes his shirt off and pulls down his jeans, revealing a hot pink, lace thong covering his half-hard cock. You look up from his cock to his chest, seeing fake, silver nipple rings adorning his pink buds. You cover your mouth as you gasp, indescribably turned on from the presentation this boy had planned. “That’s not all.”

He turns around, bending over so the thong dives deeper between his ass cheeks, but you quickly notice what he was hinting at. There’s a little pink rose peeking out of his ass, a clear decoration on a plug. He looks so fucking hot. You can’t take your eyes off of him.

“What do you think, mommy?” He holds his arms out as he turns around, facing you again as your body hasn’t moved since he’d last faced you. “Don’t you like it?”

“I love it, little prince.” You walk up to him, holding his waist in your hands as you pull him closer, licking one of his nipples, tasting the distinct metal flavor of the ring. “You never fail to surprise me, baby.” 

You kiss from his nipple to his panties, getting down on your knees as you lick over the thin fabric. He twitches under the lace, getting harder every second. Before your mouth can properly suck his cock, you stand up and kiss him harshly on the lips, tasting a faint strawberry flavor. You smile against his mouth, holding his by his waist again as you pull him into your body, your chests coming in contact. 

“Mommy, please sit on my face. I want to make you feel good,” Jeongin whines between kisses. Your hands run up and down his body, feeling him up and making him shiver in anticipation. For right now, you’re content with just sucking on his sweet lips, but his cock clearly needs some attention. “Please~”

“Let’s go to my bedroom, sweetheart. I’ll ride your pretty face as much as you want.” You take his hand in yours as you take him back to your room, practically throwing him on the bed. He palms himself over his thong while you undress, totally forgetting about the rules you’d set up. When you turn around, your gaze goes immediately, almost instinctively, to his hand on his cock as he half-assedly strokes himself. “Is my naughty little boy touching himself? Without my permission?” 

“Sorry, mommy. I couldn’t help it.” Jeongin presses his bottom lip out as he pouts, pulling his hand off of his cock. You roll your eyes and get onto the bed, sitting over his chest before staring down at him like you’re a shark and he’s your next meal. 

“I don’t know if you deserve to eat my pussy anymore.” You ponder, bringing your hand to your chin as if you’re genuinely considering not riding his face until you’re dripping. He puts his hands above his head and pleads again, whining in his adorable high-pitched voice. “Alright, baby boy, but only because I want this.”

You scoot up to his face, hovering your naked cunt over his gorgeous face. As you slowly start to lower your hips to his mouth, Jeongin eagerly sticks his tongue out and fights against his reflexes to just grab you. He laps at your folds, humming from the sweetness as you grind on his face and grip the headboard of the bed. 

“Good boy, Jeonginnie. If you make mommy cum, you’ll get a reward.” He moans into your pussy, his cock twitching under his lace panties just at the thought of you rewarding him. For being so hungry for punishment just days prior, he really wanted to be your good little boy just for today. He sticks his wet tongue into your cunt, inciting you to ride his face even harder, raising and lowering just enough for his tongue to never leave your tight, needy cunt. 

His tongue pulls back, leaving you empty for a moment before he starts kissing and sucking at your clit. You lean forward, putting your clit right up to his mouth all for him. Your sopping cunt was absolutely begging for an orgasm, and Jeongin was getting you there faster than you could have ever imagined. The moans leaving your throat only made Jeongin want to make you cum even more. 

“Please cum on my face, ma’am.” Jeongin wastes no time returning his tongue to your pussy, his wrists still above his head as if he were cuffed. Your legs start to get uneasy, shaking around Jeongin’s head as you breath heavily and mindlessly moan out his favorite pet names and countless praises. He’s smiling against you, sucking your folds until you finally release, your cunt tightening around his tongue as you whine and grind, riding out your high on his face. You were undoubtedly euphoric, slowly coming down from an extremely intense orgasm, but Jeongin was also through the moon, tasting all of your juices leaking into his mouth. 

“Ah, thank you little boy.” You flip your leg over his head, stepping back onto the floor with your weak, tired legs, a hand on the bed so you don’t fall over. You run a hand down his leg, Jeongin starting to shake with anticipation. He holds his wrists steady above his head without any help of restraints. Your palm runs over his cock, touching him over his thin panties. He lets out a huff, needy for more. “Does my sweet prince need to be fucked?” 

Jeongin’s whine are so fucking pathetic. A tear runs down his cheek just from the thought of you fucking him. He watches you as you turn around and reach into your drawer, digging through until you pull out a harness and a bright pink dildo that oddly matches his panties. Jeongin tightens his hole, remembering the bulb nestled in his ass. As you put the harness on, he lifts his hips and shakes his as against the bed.

“Mommy,” he whimpers, “please fuck my ass. Need your cock in me so fucking bad!” He sounds so overwhelmingly lewd, but you loved every second of it. You attach the dildo to your harness, tightening it perfectly so it won’t budge. You cup his cheek as you reposition yourself on the bed, lifting his legs over your thighs. You watch his cock tremble, begging to be touched, as Jeongin stares directly at your face, watching your eyes dart from his cock to his hardened nipped to his quivering lips. “Mommy?”

“Yes sweetheart?” You tilt your head and smile, making a burst of warmth erupt in Jeongin’s chest. 

“Please be gentle, okay?” You giggle at his cuteness and nod, reaching to your bedside to take out lube. Squirting it onto your hand, you rub the length of the dildo with one hand while you teasingly pull at his plug, pulling it out just enough to make him groan. 

“You look incredible, baby boy.” You lean down to kiss him while your hand moves from your dildo to his ass, both hands pulling out the plug before you finger him with lubed fingers. All of his moans are lost on your lips, his tongue letting out and into your mouth, dancing with yours. He squeals when your fingers leave his ass, and he knows exactly what’s next. 

You take his hands in yours from above his head, pulling them down to be next to his head. You lean over the boy while you line your cock with his hole, teasingly pushing the tip against his entrance. 

“I’ll go slow, don’t worry angel.” Your hands hold your hips as you slowly push the strap into Jeongin, watching it disappear into his tight little hole. His thong is pushed to the side of his hole while painfully rubbing against the bottom of his shaft. You would have taken it off, but he just looks too damn sexy in them. 

Jeongin writhes as you stop halfway, petting his sides to help him calm down. He feels so full, so stretched, something he’s never felt before. He’s wanted this for so long, he just wants to enjoy it so bad, especially for you, but the pain is starting to get to him. He’s whining loudly, biting down on his lip harshly in hopes of silencing some of his sounds. 

“Jeongin? Are you okay?” Your voice is soft, but not delicate. You’re speaking at a regular volume, an attempt to pull Jeongin out of his head. He opens his eyes and looks at you, tears threatening to fall out. “What’s the safe word?” 

“Avocado.” 

“One more time for me, baby. What’s the safe word?” Without moving your hips, you lean forward to hold onto his face. He looks so gorgeous, messy and covered in sweat. You just want him to be happy. 

“Avocado.” He pushes his face against your hand, his voice returning to a regular pitch. “You can go further now, mommy.” 

“Are you sure, sweetheart?” You lean more to kiss his forehead, admiring his sharp facial features. 

“I want you to fuck me, please.” His tone is flat, sounding almost unenthused until the final word. You nod and patiently push into him, carefully watching his face for any indication of pain. Jeongin starts to groan loudly as you bottom out, pressing the bottom of the harness against him. “Thank you.” 

“Good boy, Innie. My angel’s so pretty like this.” Your hands go to his chest, dainty fingers pinching his nipples just how he likes. His moans are back to being the high, pathetic whines you’re used to from the boy. His cock twitches, a drop of precum dripping from the tip. “You ready for me to move, my little prince?”

“Yes, mommy. I’m ready!” Your heart warms watching Jeongin’s face light up for such a perverted sentiment. He looks so excited, finally starting to enjoy it. You grip his hips tight as you pull out, watching his cock stutter and his mouth hang open. When you pound back into him slowly, Jeongin feels that familiar warmth in his stomach. 

“You like this, baby boy? You like getting fucked by your mommy?” Your voice is sinister as you increase the pace, rhythmically moving your hips against Jeongin’s ass. His legs shutter as you fuck him, all of his nerves standing on edge. “Who’s mommy’s little cumslut?”

“I am, mommy! I’m your little c-cum… fuck!” Jeongin throws his head back as you wrap one hand around his cock, your other hand is grounded on his hip. You start to jerk him, fast and aggressive, coaxing him to an orgasm even faster.

The dildo drags against Jeongin’s walls, brushing past the sensitive spot he didn’t even know he had. With every thrust and stroke, he can feel himself start to fall apart, all of his speech devolving into incoherent whines and cries. Sweat drips down his forehead as he finds it harder and harder to hold back his release. 

“C-close,” he whimpers, “gonna cum.” 

“Aw, my sweet little boy ready to cum?” You speed up the movements of your hand, tightening your iron grip on his sensitive, red cock. Jeongin feels his reality start to fade, only being able to focus on his impending orgasm. “Cum all you want, baby. Be a good little boy and cum for mommy.”

Your eyes stare intensely at his cock as he’s pushed over the edge, his body convulsing as he has the most powerful orgasm of his life. He shoots his load all over his abs and chest, some dripping onto your hand. Your hand goes still on his shaft, but your hips still slowly rut into him, easing him through his high. 

“Gonna pull out now, alright pretty boy?” He nods, bringing his hand up to his face for him to bite down on his finger. You gently pull your hips back, eventually slipping out of him, watching him breath heavily as you let go of his hips and cock. “Did you like that?” 

“Yes, Y/n. You felt so good,” he smiles, watching you as you stand up to pull the harness off and toss it towards the drawer for you to clean later. “Can we get dinner now?”

“Sweetheart, you need to rest!” You walk to the side of the bed and give him a peck on his forehead, soon kissing him on his plush lips. He lays on your bed, limbs spread out as he’s lifeless and naked. “You did so well for me. I’ll cook you dinner while you take a nap, alright?”

“I’d like that, mommy. Thank you!” You pull the discarded comforter over his body, forcing him to get warm and cozy under your covers. He looked so sweet in your bed, snuggled against the soft bed that smelled like you. 

“How about pasta? Does my boy like pasta?” He nods, shutting his eyes and rolling to his side, preparing to sleep. “I’ll be back in an hour. Rest well, Jeongin.” 

“Thank you~”

Jeongin dozes off as you get dressed in lounge pants, a loose shirt, underwear and no bra. He looks so peaceful sleeping, so you’re extra quiet when you slip out of your bedroom to the kitchen. 

You gather the ingredients and start to boil the water when you get a call. Just as before, it’s your ex-husband, Minho. You groan and hesitantly press the green phone button, turning the call to speaker before setting your phone on the counter. 

“Y/n? Hello?”

“What do you want, Minho?” Your voice sounds disinterested to say the least, and Minho immediately gets the hint that his call was not wanted. 

“I’m gonna cut to the chase. One of my student’s grades are suffering because of your relationship with him-“

“Shouldn’t you be watching my kids?” You don’t have the mental capacity to listen to Minho scold you right now. Your motherly instincts are tingling, and he should be watching your little angels right now. 

“They’re with their stepmom right now.” You grumble at his use of the word “stepmom” considering your daughters still call her by her first name, but nevertheless, you go silent, hoping he’ll get on with this call. “As I was saying before you so rudely interrupted me, you need to stop playing games with Yang Jeongin.” 

“Playing games?” Your face turns red as anger suddenly fills your brain. “We aren’t playing games, Lee Minho. We’re adults. Neither of us need your permission.” 

“You’re playing with this kid’s feelings. Don’t you feel bad?” You pause, watching bubbles start to rise in the pot. “This kid is suffering just because you want to be fucked and you’re too prideful to-“

“Don’t even say that, Minho.” You reach for the box of pasta, dumping the noodles into the pot of boiling water. “I’ll never get back with you. You know that.” 

“What does he have that I don’t?” You hear a loud tsk through the phone, Minho taking a break in his talk to ponder his next move. “You’d rather fuck a college student than a real man?”

“Jeongin’s more of a real man than you’ll ever be!” You’re nearly yelling at this point, rage overwhelming you. “What do you know about our relationship anyway? It’s none of your business.”

“Oh, but it is!” Before you have a chance to respond to his outlandish comment, he chimes back in. “He writes in his little fantasy book every single class, and every time I look over his shoulder, I have to see your name scrawled over every page. He’s obsessed with you, Y/n.” 

“Shut up! Just, shut up!” You stop stirring the pasta to collect your thoughts, breathing in before you lash out at Minho over the phone. “Go watch my kids-“

“Our kids.”

“Go watch our kids and never speak to me about this again. I’ll tell Jeongin to get his grades up. Just, for fuck’s sake, leave me alone.” You hang up, angrily throwing your phone onto the counter again. You hear the floor squeak behind you and you turn around, a scared Jeongin standing behind you with the blanket wrapped around him.

“I’m sorry, Y/n.” His eyes well up with tears, fearful of how you’ll respond. “This was a mistake.” 

“Jeongin, baby, no!” You drop the spoon to the edge of the pot and bring Jeongin in for a hug, squeezing him tightly. His arms wrap around your neck, the blanket falling to the floor to reveal him wearing one of your big shirts. “Don’t mind him. How much did you hear?”

“A-all of it.” He sniffles, collecting himself with deep breaths. “I didn’t know I’d cause so much trouble.”

“It’s Minho who’s causing trouble, not you.” You pet down his back, trying to get him to calm down and stop crying. “Go back to my room and lay down, babe.” 

“Can I stay out here and watch you?” You lean down to pick up the blanket, wrapping it around Jeongin again. His eyes are puffy and red as if he’s been emotional for a while, and your heart aches just looking at his disheveled state. 

“Of course, baby. Go sit on that stool.” He pulls the stool out from under the kitchen island and gets comfortable, leaning on the counter with his elbows. You go back to stirring the pasta, watching it rise and fall. “I love you, Jeongin.” 

“I love you too, Y/n. Thank you for inviting me here today.” He swoons at your bright demeanor, a stark contrast from the bitter persona you’d taken while on the phone with his professor. “What did you mean when you said I’m a… real man?” 

You laugh a bit, dropping the spoon to the side and getting butter and a bowl out for the pasta. “Lee Minho was never a good man. He takes advantage of everyone who comes into his life. You’re not like that.” 

Jeongin tilts his head. “Then what am I like?” 

“You’re, uh…” you put your hand on your chin, scratching at your skin in thought. “You’re very kind and genuine, which is a bit surprising for a boy your age.”

Jeongin hated every time you brought up age. It only furthered to remind him about how different you two were, and how he never had a chance with you from the start. In your eyes, he’ll never be more than a kid, and that ate away and him. Jeongin’s only goal with you was for you to see him as an equal rather than a child, but he wasn’t sure how to go about reaching that.

“So I’m a real man?” Jeongin smiles, his heart fluttering thinking of you calling him a man. 

“Pasta’s ready! Do you want cheese?” You pour the pasta from the strainer into the bowl, mixing it with the butter. Per your request, Jeongin gets the powdered cheese out of the refrigerator, sitting at the kitchen island again, this time with you right next to him, piling pasta onto his plate before yours, your motherly instincts kicking in again. 

“Thank you mo- I mean, Y/n!” You both giggle at his adorable slip up, appreciating each other’s company. 

“You’re welcome, baby boy.” You push his hair from his forehead and kiss his nose, his cheeks quickly turning a deep shade of pink. “So cute.” 

taglist: @milkym00n @sparklysung @starsareseen @sailorhyunjinz @gothicstay @vogueinnie​ @mariannaab

[kneamet]

Inspired by Wandavision. Reader is trapped in a perfect world of sitcom. However, she notices that her husband Loki is in control of everyone. I also ask for a scene that Loki goes to SWORD agents and threatens them like Wanda.

Trigger Warning: obsession, yandere, forced, kidnapping

Word Count: 2768

Character: Loki/reader

Summary: you knew that your husband was a magician, but you never thought that he would decide to create a perfect false world

POV Your

It was strange. Very strange. The world has seemed unreal to you lately. Everything was so unrealistic that I wanted to gouge out my eyes.

You looked down at your hands, feeling extremely worried. This acrid feeling burned and ate away at you from the inside out, making you feel anxious. It was very scary and unusual.

"Darling, what are you doing? Thinking about genesis?" the mocking velvety baritone whose owner was currently smiling softly at you from behind asked you. A light laugh followed his sentence. Laughter, like a crowd laughing at a joke.

You shook your head. It seemed particularly heavy now. Reflection and thoughts struck your bright, unfilled dark thoughts, head.

"Loki, what is that laugh?" you asked, turning your head to look at him. Loki only raised an eyebrow at your remark and smiled at you again, shaking his head and walking down the stairs towards you.

"I don't know what you're talking about, my sweet queen? What are you getting at?" coming up to you and touching your hair with the big hand that did the magic and gently running it through it. You blinked, leaning away from her husband's touch.

You loved his touch. So soft, so tender, so in need of the necessary love, which... What is it? Why can't you remember?

"Loki, honey, can I ask you something?" you could feel his nod as you stared at the dark screen on the off-screen TV. "What happened before we came to Westview? I can't remember, " you said in confusion, turning completely into Loki, who was looking at you with a serious look, frowning.

There was a lonely silence between you and your husband. On the top floor, the children could be heard frolicking and playing among themselves. The tension that weighed down the souls of those in the main room was overwhelming.

"Is this how pregnancy affected you? You know, I'm not an expert, but after this stage in life, girls are very suspicious of their husbands, " Loki smiled charmingly again, sitting down next to you on the blue sofa that sagged under his weight, and hugging you around the neck, kissing you on the cheek. It was a ridiculous kiss, more like a reassuring kiss.

The laughter came again. It was an unusual laugh when you see someone in front of you and they laugh. No, it was a laugh on the echoes of consciousness, which in an endless rhythm only intensified when a "funny" joke was heard. It was suspiciously strange. You felt your hands start to sweat a little.

With your lips pressed tightly together and your teeth biting the inside of your cheek, you stood up, emerging from Loki's pleasant captivity. His hands, which you so loved to touch, had to be left behind, freeing yourself from a pleasant manual captivity.

You loved Loki. He was a very interesting man... No, not a man, but a God, to put it mildly. Your beloved God, who was head over heels in love with you. He was very sarcastic and handsome: that black hair of his, which was now cut short in a perfect style; green eyes, so attentive that nothing escapes them. What can I say here, he's a God.

Grabbing your coat from the hanger and going straight up the stairs and heading straight for the door, wanting to get out and get some fresh air, as well as refresh your obsessive thoughts by going deeper into the thoughts that haunted you even at night.

"Honey, are you going somewhere?" getting up from the sofa, your husband asked obsessively, smiling at you and in an instant, teleporting, being near you, putting his hand on your shoulder.

You mastered your shoulder from his hand, shaking it slightly and not even paying attention to it, opened the door, saying:

"Get some fresh air. Keep an eye on the boys," you muttered as you closed the door behind you, not even bothering to look at your husband, who was standing there with a tense face, looking at you. It's a good thing you didn't notice.

You wanted to get out of this city. Find out what's next. Maybe we can find out from people if they know anything about you, or maybe it's just that you have a terrible memory.

But no, it can't be so terrible that you don't remember anything from the day you and Loki came to this city that seemed like an ideal city. Still, there was something wrong. Something was bothering you.

Deciding not to slow down and just walk towards the end of the city, you began to look around. You didn't walk very far, maybe fifty meters from your house, and everything was fine.

"Hi, Rob!" you shouted to your fool from work, to which he only smiled painfully at you, and your feeling only grew stronger when you saw a tear trickle down his cheek.

We need to get out of this city faster and find out from the people who live nearby if they know what's going on here in Westview.

You didn't remember when this craze to find out what was going on in this town started. Maybe when you haven't seen the kids on the playground for a couple of days in a row? Or when your friend Geraldine left so suddenly that you didn't notice? Or when the children began to grow very quickly? Or maybe when I saw the tears of the residents, when they portrayed happiness?

It was difficult. You couldn't put the details together, and your mind refused to remember your past, which you couldn't just forget. There must have been something, right? Your memories couldn't have started with you coming here with your husband, could they?

You shook your head, looking up and noticing that the main city was gone, leaving only small houses and a road that led off into the distance. Just where the STOP sign is placed. Is travel prohibited for everyone, or just for you and the people of this city?

Suddenly you stopped, clutching your head. No, no, no, what if you're imagining it? What if this is all just a game of your excited mind? Maybe you just made it all up and the people at Westview are really happy?

Squinting at the small house, your eyes only widened in fear, which was reflected in your trembling hands and your herd of goosebumps that ran down your back. The woman stood motionless, as did the man, apparently he was her husband, and she was his wife. They just stared at one point, apparently not even breathing. It was scary to see and you didn't dare approach them.

Looking around and not noticing anyone behind you, only frozen people, you stepped a little further, overcoming the road, noticing a strange, whatever it was, but it looks like a wall or some kind of dome that was blue mixed with green, similar to the colors of magic... Loki?

You knew about Loki's abilities. That he's quite a powerful mage, but could he create this dome? Was he so powerful that you didn't even know it? Your hands trembled, and so did your lower nooba. Your eyes stared at that dome-wall in amazement and tortured fear.

Your eyes widened and your mouth dropped open as you finally put together the details that had previously been a dead weight in your head.

When you touched it with your hand, you felt yourself being pulled in. It became uncomfortable. Now the question of real life was being decided, where you would learn everything about yourself and live in a world where there were no lies, or whether it would be better to stay in a world full of lies, but with your husband. Your hand has wavered in the direction of the false world. What if Loki gets angry? Did you know how evil he can be?

But no, as you said earlier, retreating now was too easy and incomprehensibly simple. To give up is to admit defeat, to remain in a world where you will always be written as a lie.

But Loki...

Shaking your head again, and finally stepping into that dome wall that seemed to shield you from the real world, you felt a pull with your foot and your whole body. So you didn't have to do anything. In any case, you will simply be thrown out of this world, soaked in lies.

As you tried to make your way through this wall with small steps, you felt how thick it was in its width and so high, although it did not bother you. Right now, all that filled my heart was a sense of freedom.

You felt like your mind was being released and memories were coming back to you from before you and Loki moved to New Jersey.

Suddenly, you felt something hit you in the back and you seemed to fly out of this wall right on the green grass with your stomach down. You groaned a little, sitting up and looking around.

There were people standing right next to you, surrounding you and looking at you in disbelief. Behind them were tents and huge body cars that flashed their headlights. Strange faces were looking at you, very worried. Your eyes went over the people very quickly before you said:

"Darcy?" you whispered, squinting against the light. She was the only person who supported you back then. Then? When?

"Y/N?"

"Help me, please save me!" you asked them, seeing how some of them began to approach you with a reliable expression on their faces, apparently wanting to help.

"I don't think you need any help, my dear queen," said a familiar soft and sweet baritone voice behind you, the sound of which your ears enjoyed. Your eyes widened and you felt fear. Inappropriate fear. Your legs are shaking. Your heart began to beat in a loud rhythm in your mind, drowning out everything except Loki's words, which were currently echoing in your head.

***

POV Loki

He did not think that his dear, dear queen would betray him. Didn't you realize that Loki did everything especially for you, wanting to dedicate every part of himself to you? Did he know that this world wasn't safe, and why did he have to create a fictional one based on your favorite TV shows, which he liked to watch with you, wrapped in a blanket on the comfortable sofa in your apartment, which he often visited earlier?

Loki loved you too much. He never wanted to hurt you, only to help you and make you feel needed and in love with someone.

He always thought you needed someone to take care of you. Yes, and take care so that you will feel like a queen. To protect, care for, and trust you, and the most important thing is to show love for you. What he missed so much.

Loki didn't like remembering the past. It was just a dark line that he crossed out when his mother died, whom he loved so much that he did not even notice the bright manipulations on her part. No, for him, she was a savior who protected him from his father's wrath.

Blinking and shifting his bleary gaze to you, his beloved queen, Loki tightened his grip on the missile that had been set upon him and his children. His favorite perfect twin boys that his beloved wife gave birth to.

They were so wonderful. Children are the flowers of life, isn't that what the Midgardians say? It seems to be. The ideal family, such as only happens in the movies, was embodied by Loki in the form of him, his beloved wife and two children.

Throwing a rocket in the direction of S.W.O.R.D., Loki lowered his head, feeling the magic that was green in color form in his hands and that was ready to kill everyone and get out of his personal life.

The contempt for people oozing out of his mouth was as ugly as it could possibly be. His gaze darted in your direction and softened slightly. The sight of you always calmed his raging mind and brought him to his senses. He took a step toward you, grabbing you in a sloppy hug, as if to show his protection.

It was nice for him to look at you. Your soft hair, in which he liked to bury his nose; your beautiful eyes, in which you could drown if you looked at them only once, and in which he was often lost. He saw you pursing your lips, frowning. Were you afraid?

Loki turned his gaze back to the agents, focusing his magic in his left hand. Magic that can cause pain.

"The rocket was a precaution. You can't blame us, Loki, " a loud male voice shouted. He didn't know him. But most likely it was the director. Loki's brow furrowed as he tightened his grip on you, doing nothing but protect you. He won't let the agents take you away. For too long, he had been alone, wandering the worlds.

"I don't think so. This is my last warning," as if a growl had escaped Loki's lips and the magic had only intensified, instilling the fear he so fiercely enjoyed. "Stay out of my house," the house he was so happy to have. A home where everyone loves him and waits for him. A house where he is respected. The house he missed. "You won't touch me, and I won't touch you," he warned, eager to get out of here and talk to his wife. They would have to have a long conversation.

"I'm afraid it's not that simple. You're holding the whole city hostage, " the unknown man shouted at Loki, to which Loki only curled his lip. Contemptuously. Didn't they understand that he just wanted to be happy? That he just wants to be alone with his beloved and his children?

"I'm not the one with the weapon," Loki warned him, feeling the arm he held around you tighten slightly, and the magic only increased its power. She seemed ready to destroy everything he could see. But right now, he had you, his beloved queen, at his side, who calmed him down with just an unobtrusive presence.

"But you're in control!" a commanding voice was heard. This time it was a woman. Out of the corner of his eye, Loki watched the expression on his beloved queen's face.

"Geraldine?" ah, what a gentle and quiet voice.

"Are you still here?" the man arched an eyebrow significantly, kissing you in the hair and looking with a withering look at the ex-girlfriend of his wife, who insinuated herself into the trust and into the affairs of his family.

"Loki... I didn't know the drones were armed. But you know that, don't you?" slowly approaching him and you, the woman said in a soothing voice, like a doctor talking to his sick patient. Loki always knew there was something wrong with her. She was too suspicious. "The city is full of civilians, but you, God, have brought an S.W.O.R.D. agent into your home," Loki frowned. The blood surged in his veins. He knew that at some point, he just wouldn't hold back. "I helped your wife give birth to your children," she looked at you, and you reflected her gaze with a look of hope. Do you want to leave him? "And on some level, you realize that I'm your ally. I want to help you, " she said in a trusting tone, and Loki slightly reduced the pressure of his magic that oozed from his thin fingers.

"How? What can you offer me?" he knew what she would say. There was no answer to that question. It was all reduced to one thing. The family Loki needed.

"What do you want?" the woman asked, standing in the background with the man who had spoken to him earlier, as if taking a manipulative pose.

"I already have everything. And no one will ever take that away again," Loki muttered, releasing a large stream of energy from his hands, forcing himself to control the minds of his subordinates and aim the scope at the director of S.W.O.R.D.

Turning around, Loki grabbed your hand, squeezing it in a painful grip and helping you turn around. He saw how you tried to resist and remove his intrusive hands and touch, to which the man himself only tightened his grip on you, pushing you into a false world.

[dat-carovieh]

Hot mess Jaskier

Ship: Geraskier

Rating: T

Wordcount: 2k

Tags: Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Jaskier, Apologies, JAskier has a beard, Geralt has feelings, Sexual tension

Geralt stopped, his hand on the door handle. He was about to enter a tavern as he heard a familiar voice from the inside. It sounded familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. There was no doubt, it was Jaskier in there singing. But he didn’t sound like he used to. His songs had all been different, but mostly ballads or something to dance to. This sounded so different, more powerful, he couldn’t place it, he hadn’t heard something like this before. It was louder and faster, than his songs used to be and his voice was deeper. It didn’t sound bad, but unusual.

Geralt opened the door, feeling anxious, he hadn’t seen Jaskier for a whole year, the last time they saw each other, he had screamed at him and sent him away, which had obviously been a huge mistake. Telling your best and only friend, they are the reason for everything bad in your live was never a good idea. He hoped, he would get the chance to make things right again. After a short glance around Geralt froze. That had not at all been what he had expected. Yes, it was Jaskier who was playing but he looked so different, if not for the voice, Geralt would probably not have recognized him. At least not right away. His hair was longer, falling over his eyes, he was no longer wearing colorful clothes but mainly black and dark grey, his trousers were a lot tighter than they used to be. He used to be clean shaven, whenever possible, but not anymore, it wasn’t a beard, but there were a lot of stubble, also his face was painted, really dark color around the eyes and some patterns on his face. He wasn’t smiling even a bit. Usually he would have a big smile or grin on his face while playing. The only thing Geralt could think about right now was, that Jaskier looked extremely hot. This was new and a little confusing. Sure, Jaskier had always been good looking, but Geralt would have never described him as hot. This would not make it easier to talk to him.

Geralt decided to take a seat, some ale would probably be a good decision, to drown the emotions, Witchers don’t have. Jaskier either hadn’t seen him yet or he did a good job hiding it or maybe he just really didn’t care. Geralt hoped the last wasn’t true, he cared deeply for the bard and it would hurt to much, if Jaskier didn’t at all.

“The next song is for the guy who just came in, trying to be subtle and sitting alone back in that corner. Yes, I’ve seen you,” Jaskier announced, staring daggers at him. He obviously cared, Geralt wasn’t sure anymore, if that was a good thing. The song was filled with anger and pain, telling a story about someone who once cared deeply about a friend but was mistreated again and again until he was sent away and broke. Witchers don’t have emotions, so that tear, that found its way out of Geralt’s eye must have had other reasons. As Jaskier sung, he continued to stare at Geralt who felt really uncomfortable, especially since everyone else was also turning heads, to look at him, but he probably deserved it.

When Jaskier had finished his performance, he put down his lute and went to the bar. Some people tried to approach him. His new music style seemed to be received well, at least with younger people. But everyone went away soon. Jaskier still didn’t smile and he seemed as if he didn’t want to be bothered. He really did change a lot. After he’d gotten his drink, he turned around and looked at Geralt, his lips pressed into a thin line. But at least, he wasn’t ignoring him, he might get a second chance with him. A chance to make everything right again.

“You’re staring is not really subtle, Geralt,” he said, while sitting down across the Witcher.

“You’re hot,” Geralt whispered without thinking. It was the only thing on his mind right now, he couldn’t process the way, Jaskier looked. He was sweaty and his long hair was a complete mess.

“That was not what I was expecting to hear first, after you told me, I’m the worst thing that ever happened to you. What do you want, Witcher? I would have ignored you, since you made clear, you don’t want anything to do with me, but it’s a public place, we are both allowed to be here but you wouldn’t stop staring at me.”

“It’s not true.” Geralt was fidgeting with his mug, slowly turning it between his hands.

“What?” Jaskier was still staring at him, with this serious expression.

“Its not true that I don’t want anything to do with you,” he answered.

“Well good, I guess. But it sounded very different when you were yelling at me on that damn mountain. We have two options right now, I get up and leave and we will never talk again, or you start to fucking talk to me, Geralt.” Jaskier’s voice had gotten louder and angrier.

Geralt took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, for what I did. I listened to your song and I realized, I did much more to you then I knew. I’m sorry, I yelled at you, one year ago, and I’m sorry for what I said. It was not true. It’s not a blessing to have you gone, it’s a curse. Nothing I blamed on you was your fault and I didn’t think so back then. I let my emotions get to me. I’m also sorry, I treated you the way I did during the years of our friendship, you have always been a loyal friend to me and I was stupid enough to take you for granted. You did not deserve the treatment you got from me. And if life could give me one blessing, you would give me a second chance to make it all right.” Saying all of that out loud had been a relieve, but also exhausting.

Jaskier nodded and got up. “You ripped my heart out and stomped on it. I can’t forgive you that easily.”

Geralt nodded, he understood that.

“All I ask is a chance to earn your forgiveness,” he said quietly.

“I will think about it. Be here tomorrow evening.” With that he turned around and left for an empty table.

Geralt slept badly that night and was a complete mess in the morning, he didn’t feel able to do anything productive so he spent most of the time just waiting, until the sun began to set and it was time to go to the tavern and hope Jaskier would come. He wasn’t there yet, but Geralt didn’t expect him to be, so he sat down and waited. He nearly wanted to give up, when the door flew open and a clearly drunk Jaskier entered. “Oh, look who it is, Geralt ‘I need no one’ of fucking Rivia,” he yelled and walked over to Geralt’s table.

“Jaskier,” Geralt said gently. He was a little startled since Jaskier had been much calmer the last evening but the alcohol seemed to bring up all the bottled-up emotions. He slammed his hands on the table and bowed down so he was eyelevel with Geralt. And he was close, really close. Geralt had to bite his tongue, to somehow keep his emotions at bay. Why was he suddenly so hot? And the anger made it even worse.

“Maybe we should go outside, for a moment, “ Jaskier growled and without waiting for an answer, he turned around and went through the door. Geralt got up and followed him outside and around a corner. As soon as he arrived, Jaskier started yelling at him.

“Do you have any idea, what I gave up for you? Living on the road with you, like that, sleeping outside and in shitty inns for months at the time? Being treated like baggage and insulted. I could have stayed home, could have lived comfortably. But when I met you, I was a naive 18-year-old who thought he could make the world a better place. I thought I could help you, better your reputation, which I did. You know I did, people approach you much differently than they used to. You are the White Wolf and no longer the Butcher of Blaviken and this is MY doing. I saw you sitting alone in that corner and I knew, you needed a friend, don’t deny it, you know it’s the truth but you could never admit it, I fought so hard only for you to reject me again and again.” While he was yelling, he had come closer and closer until he was standing only inches from Geralt. Geralt could feel Jaskier’s breath on his lips. Jaskier’s eyes flickered to Geralt’s eyes to his lips and then farther down.

“Are you seriously HORNY right now?” he asked. Geralt’s throat felt like something was stuck in there. That was the worst time for that.

“I’m sorry, I really am, but have you looked in a mirror, lately?” He didn’t have much more to lose, Jaskier would either leave him for that or not.

“I hate you, Geralt,” Jaskier whispered as he shoved Geralt against the wall and kissed him. Geralt let out a small moan and wrapped his arms around Jaskier. That was probably a really bad idea but he’d dreamed of that for so long, he couldn’t break the kiss up. The warm body pressed I him against the wall with surprising strength. The kiss was rough and Jaskier’s hand grabbed Geralt hair and pulled it back. Geralt moaned again and pressed himself against Jaskier, he could feel the bard’s erection against his own crotch. That really was an extremely bad idea. Geralt really wanted to do this, but that was not the right time. It would just drive them further apart. He gently pushed Jaskier away and they looked at each other, heavily breathing.

“I don’t think, that’s a good idea, we should resolve all of this before anything else,” Geralt said.

Jaskier smiled a little bit. It’s the first time since what felt like an eternity that Geralt had seen just a shadow of a smile. “That’s a good start,” he said.

Geralt looked at him questioning: “Was that some kind of test? “

“No, at least not planned. When I kissed you, it was purely instinct, but you didn’t take advantage of the situation. Because of that I’m willing to give you one more chance to make it right.”

Words couldn’t describe how relieved Geralt felt as he heard these words. He reached forward, pulling Jaskier in his arms and hugging him tight.

“I missed you, but don’t tell anyone, I have a reputation to maintain.” Jaskier giggled a little.

“Just don’t forget, I’m still mad at you, I’m only giving you that chance because I’m stupid and I love you.”

Geralt stroked through Jaskier’s hair and hugged him even tighter. “I know. And I love you too.”

They were standing there hugging each other for what seemed to be an eternity until Geralt let go of Jaskier and looked at him.

“Also, what happened to you? You don’t look like you, I barely recognized at first,” Geralt said and pushed Jaskier’s hair out of is face.

“You left me, that’s what happened,” Jaskier sounded slightly angry again but only for a moment, “I felt like I had to change something.” He blinked at Geralt, who still had one arm around his hip and the other in his hair.

“It suits you; you should at least keep the longer hair. Like I said, you’re hot,” Geralt whispered and could feel a shiver running through the bard. He would never hurt Jaskier again, he promised himself that. Jaskier deserved to be as happy as possible. He buried his nose in the long brown hair and enjoyed the scent he had missed for the last year.

[kieraelieson]

Logic Still Needs Comfort

A fic for @im-a-creepy-cookie as a part of @sanderssidesgiftxchange! I did your touch-starved Logan prompt!

Warnings: detailed sensory issues, joking mention of death

Logan disliked being touched.

It had been known for years. They all knew it. Surprise hugs or claps on the shoulder startled him unpleasantly and even made him upset sometimes. Touching his hand to get his attention made him jump and frown. He himself had compared the experience to having a bug or an animal suddenly landing on him.

And so Roman and Patton learned not to touch him aside from the occasional celebratory high-five. Which was fine. Everyone was fine, and happy.

And then came Virgil. And accepting anxiety as a valuable part of Thomas. Which changed things.

••^*^••

“Hey, um… L?”

Logan turned to see Virgil fidgeting but staring at him with an intent look. “Yes?”

“So, um, well you know I told you how Remus is practically a leech, and there wasn’t any getting away from it, but I’m not saying Patton isn’t great! But just Roman is… Roman, and just, but Patton really is great but I kinda don’t want to get turned into a teddy bear, and you’re all calm, and I’m, well, I’m sort of missing the calm and….” Virgil looked down and huffed out an annoyed sigh. “Oh, this is gonna come out awkward any way I say it. Can I sit next to you? I just wanna play on my phone and maybe stick my legs over your lap or something.”

Logan cocked his head to the side just slightly. “You wish to stick your legs over my lap while sitting next to me? That seems like it would involve terrible posture.”

Virgil gave a little breath of a laugh. “Any way I sit involves bad posture.”

“Actually, occasionally when you sit you replicate what is sometimes called the ‘primal squat’ which is reported to be excellent for your posture.”

Virgil gave him a lopsided grin. “Ok, you got me there. Maybe. But anyway, would you mind? It’s totally fine if you don’t want to, I’ll head back to my room.”

Logan considered it carefully. It was true that he did not enjoy touch. But this seemed as if it would be relatively calm, and would not require much, if any, reciprocation on his part. “I do not ‘mind’,” he said, utilizing Virgil’s turn of phrase.

He was currently standing, reading a book he had taken from the bookshelf he was standing in front of, and had not yet decided whether to stay with this book or choose another. He quickly pulled out the other two he’d been considering, and tucked all three books under his arm before seating himself on a couch.

It was a pleasant place, the memory library. Calm and quiet, with almost a heaviness to the air that Logan found enjoyable in a way. It was also rather dim, however, at least in this area, where the memories were older, and Logan found it necessary to summon a side table with a lamp on it so that he would have suitable light for reading.

He’d momentarily forgotten about Virgil until the couch cushion dipped beside him. Virgil pulled off his shoes and glanced at Logan.

“You really don’t mind? I mean, I know it’s kind of invasive to your space. You don’t have to say yes.”

Logan nodded. “I am not opposed.”

Virgil very tentatively put one foot up on Logan’s lap, leaning back against the arm of the couch. Logan felt again that sudden unpleasant ‘something touching me’ feeling, but it passed surprisingly quickly, and by the time Virgil had fully settled himself, laying on his back with his knees up over Logan’s lap and his feet on the other side of Logan, the feeling was gone entirely.

Logan propped his book against Virgil’s knees and began to read.

He was a little surprised, when Patton called for dinner, to find that they had been there for close to two hours, and that the unpleasant feeling had never returned. Instead he was feeling warm, and comfortable, more than he had in quite a while. He attributed this to the couch. And perhaps the warmth was a slight raising of Thomas’s core temperature, due to stress at having Anxiety so close to the old memories. Perhaps they ought to have sat down somewhere a little further away.

Regardless, he was about to comment, as they got up, at how pleasant the experience had been. Except that as soon as they both stood up, he found he was suddenly and extremely unpleasantly cold. This alarmed him, and he left without discussing anything with Virgil, concerned that the warmth and sudden cold was a sign of sickness, perhaps only his own but perhaps a symptom that Thomas was sick as well.

He went straight to the miniature control center he’d set up in one corner of his room, pulling up all of Thomas’s vital signs as well as a recording of where he’d gone that day. But everything was normal.

The cold seemed to be fading somewhat, though it was leaving a concerning ache behind. And it seemed to be concentrated on his thighs and forearms, of all places.

Logan looked through his list of sicknesses, sensible and nonsensical, that he had somehow contracted over his life, and found nothing similar. Still, this must be a sickness of some kind. Most likely a nonsensical one, as he hadn’t noted similar symptoms before. Perhaps he would discover some absurd idiom Thomas had latched onto that was causing him to experience physical repercussions. Something similar to ‘brain freeze’ perhaps.

A soft knock at his door caught Logan’s attention.

“Yes?”

“Logan?” Patton’s voice asked. “Are you alright? Virgil told me what happened. He didn’t realize how much you don’t like being touched, and I think he’d like to apologize, but he’s really worried that you’re upset with him.”

“What—“ Logan had left rather abruptly, and without expressing to Virgil that he’d enjoyed their encounter. It was very possible, with Virgil’s anxiety, that he had misinterpreted Logan’s abrupt departure. “Ah. I see.” He waved a hand to open his door. “I am not in the least upset at Virgil. There seems to be a misunderstanding.”

“Oh, good.” Patton said, concern all over his face. “But you should probably tell Virgil that, and there’s some dinner saved for you yet.”

Logan nodded, the ache in his forearms and thighs rather distracting. “Thank you, Patton.” And then it hit him. If it really were an odd turn of phrase Thomas had attached to, Patton would certainly know it. “Have you happened to notice any interesting phrases recently?”

Patton frowned in confusion, indicating that Logan had changed the subject too rapidly for Patton to keep up. But then he grinned a little. “So today, I saw a baguette in a cage at the zoo!”

And then it was Logan’s turn to be confused for a moment, before he realized. “Ah, I didn’t mean a joke-“

“It was bread in captivity!” Patton smiled brightly, nearly laughing at his own joke.

“Yes, thank you, Patton,” Logan said, allowing the tiniest bit of an amused smile to show.

Even that slight encouragement made Patton beam. “Well, I told Roman that I would watch Disney with him tonight, so I’ll have to go, but don’t forget to talk with Virgil before you eat, and don’t forget to eat either!”

“I won’t forget,” Logan promised, a softer smile showing.

But as soon as Patton left he clapped a hand over his mouth. Why was he so… easily swayed? He prided himself on keeping a straight face, and yet now he’d smiled at Patton’s pun! What was wrong with him?

And now, with Patton leaving the room, it was as if the heat had been sapped. He was again very uncomfortable, aching and cold and he didn’t understand why. Was he perhaps experiencing some strange and extreme form of separation anxiety? It had set in both times as another side had left, though in different ways. But he didn’t feel anxious.

It was all incredibly strange.

But it seemed that Virgil was under a rather upsetting misconception. It could wait. He would speak with Virgil first and then look into this strange sickness further.

Logan crossed the hallway to knock on Virgil’s door.

The door opened almost immediately, Virgil looking as though he’d been waiting on someone to knock, and that Logan had not been the one he’d been expecting, based on the wide eyes and generally startled appearance.

“L, I’m sorry, I wouldn’t have asked if I’d known, I wouldn’t have wanted to make you uncomfortable—“

“Virgil, I assure you, I was perfectly comfortable. I would have expressed discomfort if I needed to.”

Virgil blinked, and the deep black of his eyeshadow faded somewhat. “You aren’t mad?”

“Not at all. I enjoyed the calm company you provided. I left abruptly upon discovering symptoms that indicate possible sickness.”

“Oh.” Virgil was silent a moment, gaze flickering away from Logan as he processed. “Wait, sick? Who’s sick?”

“I may be, though it is odd, and perhaps not a sickness at all.”

“Well, what is it? What’s going on? Are you ok? Is it contagious?”

“I do not know. I am experiencing a strange cold, and aching.”

Virgil’s eyebrows creased in concern. “That doesn’t sound good.”

Logan nodded seriously. “That is why I left, trying to discover what it could be.”

Virgil nodded in an encouraging, ‘go on’ kind of way.

“I haven’t found anything yet, but Patton informed me of the misunderstanding between us and reminded me to eat dinner. I intend to do more research afterwards.”

Virgil nodded. “I could rubber duck for you, if you want. Maybe I could help a bit.”

Logan stared, trying to remember what the phrase was meant to convey before revealing his confusion. He was certain he had it on a flash card somewhere, but he’d left them in his room.

Virgil rather obviously quashed an amused smile. “You tell me what happened, and then we see if we can figure it out together. Repeating the details can help you connect them better sometimes.”

“Ah. Yes. That does seem useful. Thank you.”

Virgil gave him a lopsided grin, pulling up his hood and closing his door behind himself. “So when did you first notice the symptoms?”

Logan explained his symptoms and research to Virgil as they went downstairs and sat down at the table.

“And I still have very little of an idea of why,” Logan admitted. “I believe it possible that it’s another of those idioms that we sometimes experience physically.”

Virgil nodded very slowly. “I actually… might have an idea. I have an experiment I’d like to try, but if I explain it fully it’ll bias you and it probably won’t work.”

“Go ahead,” Logan said, opening the Tupperware container of spaghetti. “What is your experiment?”

Virgil reached one hand across the table. “While you’re eating, give me one hand.”

Logan considered, reaching out to hold Virgil’s hand. “Does this have something to do with checking pulse? You would be able to do that more easily with my wrist than my hand.”

Virgil shook his head. “Just eat, and when you’re done we’ll see how it goes.”

Logan frowned slightly. “Do you believe this has something to do with how recently I’ve eaten? Or that it could be influenced by the focus needed to do something with only one hand?”

Virgil chuckled. “I’ll explain once you’ve eaten.”

Logan was far too curious to wait patiently, and ate quickly, pushing away a not-quite empty container. “What is it?”

“Are you feeling warm again?”

Logan took a moment to assess, and realized that yes. He was feeling warmer. The ache as well was completely gone. “I am. Is it the food?”

Virgil offered a rather sad smile. “Alright, now let go of my hand and tell me what you feel then.”

Logan let go, and almost immediately the cold rushed back. He frowned. “But why? Why do I suddenly seem to have my physical temperature tied to the proximity of you and the other sides?”

His hand ached, and he held Virgil’s again, relieved, but utterly confused when the unpleasant feelings faded.

“I’ve had something like this,” Virgil said. “But not quite the same as yours, based on what Patton was saying. I think you’re probably touch starved.”

Logan considered this silently.

“But I don’t like being touched.”

Virgil gave his hand a slight squeeze. “You don’t seem to mind this.”

Logan nodded, very slowly. “You’re right. I… I don’t mind this at all.”

“I think we should talk to the others,” Virgil suggested.

Logan nodded slowly. “I suppose so.”

••^*^••

“You’re what?!” Patton practically wailed, throwing himself at Logan in a hug.

Immediately Logan felt like he wanted to crawl out his skin. This was miserable. In no way what he wanted. It didn’t feel right at all. It was like a whole hive of insects were buzzing just below his skin.

He pushed Patton off of him, more roughly than he would have intended. “Get off!”

Patton stopped immediately, staring in confusion and hurt.

Logan couldn’t handle it. He was freezing, and his skin was crawling, and his mind seemed filled with static. It was terrible. He just couldn’t.

He barely understood the words directed at him from the other sides as he sank out.

He locked his door and shuddered, hands repeatedly making and releasing fists. He shuddered again, trying to dislodge the crawling feeling. It didn’t leave.

He’d been right, he didn’t like touch. Not at all.

He got into the shower, running the water hot and scrubbing the disgusting feeling away. It helped warm him up as well, which felt way better. He bundled into his bed, pulling the weighted blanket that had been a gift from Virgil over himself.

A while later, finally calm and comfortable, he conjured a note to stick on the door.

I am not upset, but please leave me alone.

••^*^••

Logan spent the next several days figuratively buried in research. He investigated touch starvation as well as touch aversion, and a host of other possible clues to his situation.

He also gradually became more uncomfortable, holed up in his room.

He came to the conclusion that he did, in fact, have a kind of touch starvation, awakened to a roaring hunger by that pleasant afternoon sitting with Virgil.

But he also certainly had an aversion to being touched in certain ways. And he suspected, looking into it more, that surprise was a large factor, as well as the amount of him that was being touched, and perhaps the way in which he was touched.

He was basing this largely on his own reactions to Virgil’s method of touching, as compared to Patton’s or Roman’s, since he highly doubted that it was something inherent in them that he was averse to.

Finally his findings were all put together into one detailed, though as of yet hypothetical, presentation. Armed with this, and a determination not to touch anyone until he’d presented his findings, he opened the door to his room.

As he’d suspected, there was something attached to his door that made a noise as it was opened, and he was soon nearly mobbed with the other sides. They didn’t touch, or come too near, or say anything, but all came very quickly to stare at him, worry in every gaze.

He raised his folder. “I have a presentation. Please gather in the living room.”

It didn’t take long. Not at all.

Logan opened the folder and set it on top of the tv, so that the images could be seen.

“I believe Virgil was correct in suggesting that I have a degree of touch starvation.” He flipped through a few pages, supporting this statement with both facts and personal experiences.

He paused. This was the part that was likely to hurt feelings. Even he knew it, and he wasn’t usually adept at understanding feelings. But it was necessary.

“However, in satisfying this hunger, I will need to be ‘picky’. I have boundaries outlined in this section, and I need to keep them rigidly. This will mean that I will not be open to surprise touch, and likely not to hugs either. I would like to have support from each of you, support in accordance with what I’m capable of handling.”

“Absolutely, Logan,” Patton said. “I’d really like to be able to help you in the right way.”

Both Roman and Virgil nodded very solemnly and enthusiastically.

Logan smiled, more moved by this expression of support than he’d expected to be. “Thank you, Patton. And thank you two as well. I will be very much in need of your assistance.”

He cleared his throat, more in an attempt to gather himself together than any really obstruction. “I’ve laid out a number of methods of touch that I believe would be helpful to me, and arranged them by likelihood of success, and also divided by which I believe each of you would be more inclined to enjoy yourselves.”

••^*^••

Logan was seated on his bed, organizing and updating his flashcards, when there was a knock at the door.

“Come in.”

“Hey,” Roman said, peeking in rather shyly. “Um, can we try one of those things now? I brought something to do.”

Logan considered, a slight curl of worry in his stomach. “Yes. I believe now would be a good time.”

Roman fully entered the room. “So I can sit behind you, and do my thing, and I won’t bother you while you do yours.”

Logan smiled slightly. “That sounds pleasant.”

Roman grinned, a bit of pride evident in his expression. He sat behind Logan on the bed, facing away from him, and leaned back slightly, so that they were each leaning against the other.

For about thirty seconds, Logan was uncomfortable, but gradually, warmth spread out through his body, and his mind was able to return its focus to his flashcards, and soon he found he was quite comfortable.

“Hey, specs, what do you call a little tiny shovel? Like the ones for kids. Or I guess not for kids, or not all the time.”

“That would be called a trowel, though perhaps a more recognizable, less correct term would be a spade.”

“Thanks!”

Logan could hear the smile in Roman’s voice, and smiled himself. This was genuinely pleasant.

Even after he had finished with his flashcards, Logan didn’t move. He just soaked in the wonderful warmth, answering whatever questions Roman had, and occasionally listening as Roman gushed about a particular sentence or paragraph he was especially proud of writing.

••^*^••

Logan walked beside Patton, enjoying the false nature of the imagination. He was familiar with much of the flora and fauna, even a decent portion of those entirely invented within Thomas’s mind. And Patton seemed to enjoy Logan’s rambling as much as Logan enjoyed the rambling.

A hand bumped gently against his, and Logan hesitated a moment, before linking his pinky finger with Patton’s.

Patton’s smile grew even brighter. “And you were saying the seeds of that tree are special? What kind of special are they?”

Logan smiled proudly, launching into an explanation. Patton swung their hands back and forth gently as they walked, and Logan felt something within him fill up. He felt pleasantly full, as if there was a cup inside him that had been long empty, and was now trickling over the rim, full enough to even spill.

••^*^••

Logan and Virgil laid out on the roof, looking up at the night sky. They were side by side, with Logan’s left leg tangled up with Virgil’s right.

It was calm. And warm. And peaceful.

In a reverse of the usual pattern, Virgil was the one telling the myth, this time of people who had lifted up the sky.

Logan felt himself drifting off, more comfortable than he could remember being in a very long time. He was figuratively floating on soft, warm clouds. Drifting into a summer night. He was safe, and content. Comfortable.

••^*^••

“Patton,” Logan said slowly.

“Hmm?”

“I would like to attempt a hug.”

Patton turned all his attention to Logan. “You sure?”

Logan nodded. “Yes. Just— slowly. And gently.”

Patton nodded solemnly, reaching his arms out.

Logan slowly leaned into the embrace, and Patton gently wrapped his arms around him.

And it wasn’t bad.

Logan hugged Patton, squeezing lightly before letting go. “Thank you.”

Patton’s eyes were all shimmery, and his smile wobbled. “You’re welcome, Logan!”

••^*^••

The door burst open dramatically and Roman ran in, flopping over the arm of the couch and letting out an even more dramatic groan. Then he peeked his eyes open, and moved to just as dramatically flop onto Logan’s lap.

“I fought dragons.” He announced, his voice a whisper as if he were inches away from death.

Logan, for once, was hit with a burst of mischievousness, and patted Roman’s face in an intentionally awkward way. “I will be sure to mention it at your funeral. I’m sure you’ve written an extensive ballad, and I’ll force Virgil to sing it in your honor.”

Roman had a sudden grin before resuming his ‘dying of exhaustion and probably wounds’ act. “Make sure you do,” he croaked out. “And have Patton put flowers in my casket.”

“Of course.”

Roman went limp, closing his eyes and sticking his tongue out.

“Patton!” Logan called. “We’re going to have to put on a funeral.”

“A what?!”

••^*^••

Logan leaned against Virgil’s side, his empty cup of coffee set beside him, as the second movie began to wrap up.

“If they start another movie, you can lay in my lap and go to sleep,” Virgil offered quietly.

Logan, who despite the coffee was beginning to nod, hummed an affirmative.

He was woken up a good deal later by a lack of sound, and found that they’d just finished what might have been the third, but could’ve been the fourth or fifth movie of the night. He was laying on a pillow in Virgil’s lap, and his legs were up in Roman’s lap. And judging by Patton’s smile, pictures had been taken.

“We’re finishing up now,” Patton whispered. “And setting up to sleep out here. Do you want to stay in here or go to your own room?”

Logan yawned. “It will be far better for my posture to go to my own room… but if you were to turn on a sound machine… I would not be opposed to remaining here.”

Soon, something between white noise and rain lulled him back to sleep.

••^*^••

They all found a marked improvement, both in Logan’s mood and even in Thomas’s clarity of mind, as they continued experimenting with touch.

It was discovered that Roman, while not starved, was also touch-hungry, and was practically a giant dog in that he would accept any and all kinds of petting.

And as Logan regulated, he found he was even more ready to give touch than to receive it. Roman flopping onto him after ‘terrible and glorious battles’ became a regular occurrence, often ending with Roman falling asleep, Logan gently scritching at his scalp.

Walks with Patton became something they both greatly enjoyed and looked forward to. Sometimes they could only link pinkies, sometimes holding hands, sometimes even walking arm in arm.

And Virgil was always ready to do something of his own near Logan, a limb draped over him or pressed up against him.

Logan found himself repeatedly thinking back to that one afternoon in the memory library, incredibly grateful that Virgil had asked, and that he had said yes. He could see so much in his life that was better now.

And he was really, truly happy.

[k-comfyspace]

Tune

Star: Handong (Dreamcatcher)

Idea: No

It was always there, yet you never caught it. You continued to listen, the soft sounds calming your mind.

A/n: I hope this came out good

It was a quiet afternoon, the birds were flying in the sky, the busy streets were littered with cars, each making their way through the building traffic. People were taking a walk, enjoying the afternoon that was given to them.

Everything seemed peaceful, to some people.

You were in your apartment, adjusting the glasses on your face as a grunt escaped your lips while you went over your book.

It felt like hours since you started scanning your book, none of the words processing in your head.

"Should I go out and buy something?"

"I wonder what Jeremy would think of this."

"Maybe it’s time I go study."

Shaking your head, you tried your utmost to get rid of the voices in your head. You were preoccupied, the volume of voices growing louder in your head. It was uncomfortable to hear everyone’s thoughts, all their plans in their heads.

You didn’t expect this to be the conclusion of your day. Having had a good start, everything was peaceful earlier, with no voices, no thoughts.

However, this afternoon, it suddenly went from zero to a hundred rapidly. It was as if there was a crowd waiting outside a gate, waiting for it to open, and when it did, they all rushed in all at once.

You tried your best to ignore it for the first few hours, but since then, it hasn’t gotten any better.

When you felt your head pulsing, you were forced to stand up, frustratingly closing your eyes before feeling a gust of wind graze across your body. Upon opening your eyes, you were met with a much more calming scene.

Instead of carpeted floors, white walls, and artificial lights. The scenic view of the ocean greeted you, carpeted floors replaced by vibrant grass, the overlapping voices replaced by the sounds of the waves crashing.

The dull lights were replaced by a more joyful sky, with a tinge of orange across the clouds.

A sigh escaped your lips as you padded near the edge, sitting on the ground, you enjoyed the silence. Away from the endless thoughts, your mind is free due to the void of people.

You were thankful that you found such a place, a small cliff at the edge of the city.

You discovered it once when you had enough of everything, your mind was overwhelmed and all you could resort to was closing your eyes.

Your powers had brought you here, as a last resort, to prevent you from losing your sanity, and possibly hurting someone. It brings peace to your mind, knowing you couldn’t hear a single thought, no more voices.

But even if you tried to avoid it, there was still that dread of having to go back to deal with all the burden of having inherited this trait.

For years, you’ve had these abilities, a power your family has been blessed with.

Generally, people were given more physical powers; the ability to bend the simple elements of matter, the ability to bend space and time, or any sort of ability that could alter the laws of physics. Your family, however, was more skilled at the psychological side of life.

From controlling minds, to reading thoughts, simple hypnotism, or plain communication. It was a gift that was blessed to few, avoiding the backlash that it would bring if given to the wrong people.

Your family was one of the blessed, having been given this ability since the start of your clan, passed down from generation to generation.

For your family, it was easy for them to master the abilities they were given. Having learned easily as they learned to control it, using it when they choose to.

But even through all the years you’ve tried to master it, everything seemed to be against you. It would get overwhelming most of the time, people’s thoughts bleeding into yours, their plans, and the problems that they have. You could feel all of it.

Some would think having that kind of ability is useful, you could do all the things you’ve imagined. In reality, it was a huge disadvantage, because with the stress, fatigue, and your own thoughts, hearing other people’s thoughts wasn't a good combination.

There are times when you don’t know what to do as you lay awake at night, their thoughts haunting you. Not letting you sleep, continuing to float in your head, thought after thought.

You were confused about how your relatives had such an easy time mastering theirs. Your mother had taught you everything that could prove useful, yet none seemed to apply to you.

It frustrated you to no end, there wasn’t a moment that you had for yourself. Because of your powers, you couldn’t find peace. That is, till you found this place.

It was a safe haven.

You couldn’t read anyone’s thoughts, you couldn’t delve deep into their minds, and you couldn’t do anything that could harm them.

As you sat there listening to the ambient sounds, you heard something faint

It was silent, but you distinguished it enough to know that it was someone humming, the rhythm of the song flowing through your ears.

You felt your body relaxing, somewhat enjoying the feeling that the tune was giving you, unbeknownst to the source of the sound. Slowly, the tune started to get closer, growing in volume, you had no qualms with it.

Unlike everything else, it was a slow build-up. The volume grew until it became sustained, not too loud, and not too quiet.

Then, as you continued to enjoy the song, it suddenly stopped. Once again, the silence and ambient sounds were the only things you heard.

Opening your eyes, you turned your body, searching to see if anyone was nearby. A frown formed on your lips when you saw not a single soul, only the grass that swayed in the wind.

Furrowing your eyebrows, you shrugged, turning back to the view that you enjoyed. Watching as the sun descends across the horizon, the bright orange sky relaxes your thoughts.

You stayed there for a while. Leaning back against your arms, enjoying the cool wind until you started to see the stars, it was time to go.

Standing up, you dusted your pants, once again, closing your eyes, you were back in your apartment. There was silence for the first few hours, your mind remained in a relaxed state from your recent location.

It was one of the times you had for yourself. Enjoying the quietness until it would eventually continue through the night. So, with a clear mind, you enjoyed your few hours, going back to the book that you could finally read.

--

The next day, you were watching television on your couch. Scanning through the channels as you find yourself with nothing to do. You were too lazy to go out, and you didn’t have the energy to stand up to get your book, deciding that you were going to have a lazy day instead.

When you finally settled down to watch a movie, you suddenly felt a sharp pain in your head.

You clutched your head, groaning before hearing everyone all at once. The voices came in, overlapping against each other, it seemed like they were yelling, growing, and growing in volume. You shook your head, trying to see if it would disappear, trying your best to control your powers.

You forced yourself, but the extreme pain in your head was too much to handle. So, as swiftly as you could. You snapped your eyes shut, forcing yourself out of your apartment before feeling the breeze on your skin.

Everything changed from blaring sounds to complete silence. You kept your hands on your head, waiting for the residual noises. Staying in your fetus position, you kept still, flinching to prepare yourself in the event of things going wrong.

When the signs looked positive, you opened your eyes, cautiously uncurling yourself. You sighed upon seeing the blue sea, the sound of the waves calming you.

Puffing out a breath, you lay on your side, legs tucked into your chest, taking deep breaths as you assured yourself.

In the years that you’ve struggled with your abilities, never have you experienced that level of discomfort. To suddenly exceed what you could handle, you felt like fainting, nearly losing your consciousness until you decided to depart.

Because of the silence, your mind started to think, fear developing inside your chest as you contemplated if this was the life you were going to live.

The constant fear, disturbance, and distress you will go through until the day comes that you won’t be able to handle more than you think.

As your mind continued to overthink, you heard a distinct sound. You recognized it, the same tune that came the day before. You didn’t know what it was or who it came from, but it brought you peace.

You could feel your body relax, the thoughts in your head fading away as you focused on nothing but the sweet sounds.

Your eyes unconsciously closed, letting your body go slack, sighing as every negative feeling disappeared like it wasn’t there in the first place.

It went on for a while, the soft song getting closer. However, similar to the day before, the tune disappeared as fast as it had arrived. Opening your eyes, you turned behind you, yet again looking for the source, but it was void of anyone, with no traces or signs.

You furrowed your eyebrows, your powers hunting for any connections, though only coming out with nothing.

Turning back, you gave up your search, looking back at the scenery until the moon had risen high in the sky. With a concluding sigh, you closed your eyes, leaving the peaceful cliff, unbeknownst to the eyes that had their gaze on you when you disappeared.

When you came back to your apartment, you were on your toes. Readying yourself, terrified of what might happen, even if you knew that you still had a few hours of time for yourself, you were afraid.

Things haven’t been going the way they were supposed to be. What could stop this from being any different?

--

For the rest of the night, you were anxious, your paranoia acting up as you felt like you were going to get jumped every second.

You kept glancing over your shoulder, turning your head every now and again. So when the voices came, it seemed to be on a larger scale than it was supposed to be.

Somehow, you managed to survive the night, falling asleep on the couch, the TV on as you attempted to drown out the voices in your head.

However, the following morning, your anxiety seemed to grow bigger, as you expected everything that could come your way.

However, it got to a point of annoyance, where there wasn't a second you were afraid, and when it was midday, you couldn’t handle it anymore. You marched to your room, got some books before disappearing.

Arriving at the cliff, you sat down with a huff, sighing before you took out your book. You had no way of driving out the voices, and you weren’t going to stick around your apartment if it would only cause problems.

For the next few hours, you entertained yourself with your book. Finally, after a few days of trying, you managed to get into the story, losing yourself as the time passed. It was new, having more time to indulge yourself, but then again, you weren’t going to complain.

Along with the time change, you didn’t seem to notice a familiar tune, beginning as the sun began to set.

You didn’t notice it at first, being distracted by your book, it only became apparent when you noticed your fingers tapping along the book, following the rhythm of the melody.

When you looked away from your book, you were hoping to find the source of the song. But like the other times, when you turned your head to look, there wasn't a single soul.

You tried once again to use your powers, scanning the area for some sort of conscience. After a few minutes, you sighed, turning back to pack your things, turning your back once more before you left.

For the next few days, you find yourself sticking to a routine. From the moment you wake up, you do your chores, run your errands, and buy some food.

When you finished work, you would pack what you needed, closing your apartment as you spent the rest of the afternoon on the cliff. Reading your book, eating snacks, or admiring the view.

It made you happy that there was always something you would look forward to at the end of the day. It could be just eating a snack that you prepared beforehand.

The laughs you would emit due to your books, or the simple relaxation that you would enjoy as you did nothing but watch the sea, and listen to the ambient sounds.

Each one of the days that you would spend on the cliff, there was always one constant thing that made it all perfect.

The soft song that you would hear every sunset fully eases the stress that you have experienced throughout the day. It always started right as the sun began to set, and finished abruptly when the stars started to show.

Never have you looked back to search for it since it always escapes your sight. You merely enjoyed the peaceful song before it ended, and right when it ended, you knew it was time to leave.

Packing your things before you disappeared, a smile on your face as you couldn’t wait for another day.

It was acceptable that you never got to see who was the source of the sweet melody. However, once in a while, your curiosity did ponder about it, oftentimes, becoming the main focus of your afternoons.

Until eventually, you got to, at long last, you were able to meet the person who made all your afternoons the way they were.

--

You were busy reading a new book, laying back against your arms, your mind focusing on the book. It had already been a few hours since you arrived, having borrowed a new book from the library to read.

It was a book about tigers, which seemed to pique your interest, having gotten it the moment your eyes scanned it.

Although, while you kept reading, you didn’t seem to notice the sun had gone past the surface of the sea, continuing your book as the song had come to an end.

Along with that, you also didn’t take note of another presence that joined you, standing beside your form as they glanced out into the star-littered sky.

The moment you paid attention was when you saw something shift in the corner of your eye.

Raising your head, you were shocked to find that it was already almost dark. The stars twinkling in the sky, more to that, you were surprised to find another presence with you.

A woman is standing beside you. You weren’t able to make out her face, due to her hair framing it. But you could make out the small smile that she had, her hand was interlocked in front of her.

The first few moments were silent, the air slowly getting awkward before she broke the tension,

"I’ve been seeing you here a lot,"

She turned her head toward you and for a short moment, you forgot the ability to speak. Your breath is being taken away as you have never seen anyone more beautiful in your life.

The woman had blonde hair that flowed down her back. Her cute nose, soft eyebrows, and the fluffiest cheeks you have ever seen. The smile that she gave was perfect, giving a calming aura that you naturally relaxed into.

"Uh--I--"

The giggle that left her lips because of your stuttering satisfied you to the point where you needed nothing else. The soft tone of her laugh seemingly brings you a different level of comfort.

"I’m sorry, we haven’t properly met. My name is Handong. What’s yours?"