#they sound so much better in my head
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“And they were Black Room companions”
“OMG they were Black Room companions!”
“Aaaand the mc called his opposite ‘jerk’”
“afwgeps I love them 😭😭😭”
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DATV explaining the 'Regret Prison'
A REGRET PRISON IS STUPID AND I'M TIRED OF PRETENDING THAT ITS NOT
TL;DR: a prison can serve as a metaphor but it shouldn't be entirely comprised of a metaphor.
From what I understood from what the game gave us: Solas has made a new prison to move the God's too - since bringing down the veil would free them from the Black City. This new prison is separate(?) from the fade or so far removed/contained that bringing down the veil would not compromise it...apparently. We interrupt his ritual, Solas gets sucked into the new prison he made, and the elven gods are free.
When Rook gets kicked into the fade they're physically there - which means it's a physical place in the fade, like how it was a mixture of physical/thought when we entered it in DAI. Which makes sense - the gods are real and living beings, they need to be in a place, there must be some aspect of physicality to it.
Alright, cool, it's a Black City 2.0 - I assume it's better defended to prevent people breaking in/out again?
NOPE.
We get there and it's a 'regret prison'?? It's tied to the regrets of those within it? Composed of regrets??? Solas had to wait for the right moment for Rook to be sufficiently 'full of regret' that they could switch places?
So is the prison tied to Solas's regrets? If so, how can Rook escape? The prison seems to work around the idea that it relies on the regrets of the person it's holding to work - which is how/why Rook was able to be trapped and later free themselves (along with whatever remains of the team apparently being able to do something on their end, not that we hear about it).
WHICH IS STUPID!
Are you telling me the prison intended to hold to megalomaniac elven gods was going to imprison them based on their own regrets? Is Solas assuming that Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain are as self-pitying as he is? They'd break out quicker than Rook did! He made a time out corner for the elven gods to sit in and gave them an out if they reflected on their emotions/regrets or decided that they don't regret what they did. Elgar'nan, a spirit of tyranny, is not going to 'regret' his actions - he is going to justify them by telling himself and others that he knows what's best.
We can come across some of Solas's regrets in the prison if you run around a bit and explore:
Remnant of Failure - talking about the orb from Inquisition.
Remnant of Parting - talking about Mythal
Remnant of Reflection - more vague, talking about the Titans I believe.
So maybe he altered it - maybe he intended the prison to be 'locked' with his own regrets because after a millennia of having a pity party he still can't bring himself to self-reflect and look to the future. But what if Solas died? Or if his guilt lessened - would it diminish the strength of the regret prison?
We already have pre-established lore (though DATV has shown they don't really give a crap tbh) that once the being that has claimed/altered an area of the fade is slain, it's influence diminishes both in and outside of the fade. So if the prison was tied to his regrets then it would require Solas to basically live forever to keep it stable - especially if he brought down the veil and removed the one barrier that kept the world and the fade apart.
Rook and Solas needed some assistance to exit - but it doesn't seem like it was much! Solas used his dagger and Rook just...got out through a fade tear? This is Solas's 'more secure' second prison? It has a worse track record than the Black City! If Rook - who is not an elven god - managed to escape the regret prison what is to stop anyone else from breaking in and out of the prison?
And what did Solas intend to do with the blight - the bulk of which is apparently in the black city?? If bringing down the Veil would free the gods in the black city doesn't that mean that the blight would also be released?! Did he have a plan? Why does he go fully ahead with bringing down the veil at the end if the black city is still there and filled with blight?!
I get it: the 'regret prison' is a metaphor for how Solas holds onto the past and how Rook can move past their regrets and grow. He's trapped by the past - it's a prison. Cool. But this prison is supposed to by a physical place to contain the gods - not just to solely contain Solas. The mission is literally called 'A Cage for Gods'.
The Black City is an actual place that's so far out of reach of anywhere else in the fade that no mage can ever reach it while in dreams - let alone physically, which was only done once and took tremendous effort/blood sacrifices. It made sense - it was cool to see floating in the sky in DAO!
Though it's not said specifically, it's strongly implied that Arlathan is the Black City. You can see in the concept art that floating elven city is exactly the same as the black city in DAO! It's this foreboding thing just lurking in the sky - a constant reminder of the sin that led to the horrors of the blights and darkspawn. A real place with lore and history that also serves as a metaphor for the hubris and destruction of those who call themselves gods and act as tyrants -> for both the evanuris and the magisters.
I WANT TO UNDERSTAND THIS BIOWARE!
WHAT IS THIS KINGDOM HEARTS NONSENSE???!!
#we'll need Mickey and Donald to break us out of this one#this screams 'this sounds so cool lets put it in' and not 'how can we do something cool that works with the world we've established'#“it's metaphorical-” it can be metaphorical and make sense!!!#trying to invoke 'emotion' with that black and white tone and only succeeded in getting me to feel pure confusion and rage#THE FADE IS GREEN TINTED - THE LAST GAME WAS LITERALLY COLOUR THEMED AFTER IT#i'm passionate about the fade being green the same way i'm passionate about Aurora's dress being blue and Cinderella's being silver#solas's more secure second prison literally has a worse track record than the black city - why is he so dumb???#I regretted no choices in datv besides the decision to actually play this game lmao#if the game actually acknowledged that Rook's actions led to thousands of people dying maybe I'd feel something in the regret prison#no mention of treviso/ minrathous/ or southern thedas??#the team all knew the risks of what they were doing! they volunteered/made their own choices - ME2 did this so much better#played as an elf so I didn't even feel bad when Harding died because of the weird elf specific dialogue she had#I'm not sorry for the titans/what Solas did - I wasn't even there! Doesn't justify the shit that happened to the elves after either!#this game made me apathetic to LACE HARDING and i loved her in Inquisition#i'm sorry but I had more regret for choosing to speak mean to Merrill once than anything I did in this game#currently writing about the magisters sidereal in my lore post and I needed to blurt this out because its so stupid#typed out the word 'regret' so much is has no meaning in my head anymore lmao#datv critical#datv spoilers#bioware critical#dragon age the veilguard#veilguard critical
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Din Djarin & Grogu + Chapter 17: The Apostate
#din djarin#grogu#the mandalorian#pedro pascal#swedit#din edits#my edits#my gifs#grogu sneaking under the bandolier.... putting his claw on it... din pushing his head down when he flies up... I LOVE THEM SO MUCH#my chest aches i was decaying today but making these gifs made me feel better as cheesy as it sounds
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believe it or not, normalswap?avm
(check some lorestuff in tags)
now back to main cast
#alan becker#animator vs animation#ava#animation vs minecraft#avm#ava au#NS?AVA#ava victim#ava tco#ava primal#ava ballista#ava hazard#avm gold#avm purple#avm king orange#itstime to explain things in the tags hahahah#so purple got taken in by gold and ko but then died in the minecraft event and gold got filled with so much regret and guilt with that one!#somuch so that he planned to destroy minecraft#his dad still has some morals and didnt want him to go through with this plan but since gold is a child hes too stubborn to give up now#“okay so primal being a bow user is obviousbut why hazard?” umm theres one main reason#itsmostly to reference ���warning shots” or warning signs sure#sometimes warning signs can have silly little pedestrians on em and you know what hazard is.#agent and ballista are sword users sorry i am tooo tired to draw them#another ns?avm fun fact primal would be the best at cooking among the group#mostly because hes based off cavemen#actually now that i typed that it sounded better in my head#OKAY THAT IS ENOUGH hope you liked reading all this#lilacsart
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i feel like this is a hot take, but it's clear to me that so much of ianthe's outward projection of superiority is a deeply ingrained — really, formative — sense of inadequacy. it's to prove to everyone, even the people who were supposed to love her, who were supposed to inherently value her, that she does actually have value — in fact, she has the most value because look at what she can DO!
and i don't even think she's entirely internalized that, but that kind of projection kind of falls apart if you show even a moment of self-doubt
and i know ianthe isn’t supposed to be sympathetic here, or at least i’m assuming she’s not to most people, but can you imagine the body horror of being inextricably tied to and irrevocably altered by the guy you grew up with and didn’t even really like and who didn’t like you either (but who served you because that was his Role, and, who, even though you’ll never admit it, you maybe even cared about a bit because at a certain point that’s kind of unavoidable - i know she tried to convince palamedes she didn’t, but she is a known liar prone to sentimentality), but it was fine because you knew you were better than him, too?
except now you're not exactly, not entirely better than him, because he's not just fueling you, you didn't get to just use him to become someone who matters. instead, he's part of you, and you still don't matter?
like from what she says about her parents' reaction to the canaan house aftermath, even that part didn't work. she didn't earn mommy and daddy's validation, admiration, anything
and she's running his empire, but she's still third place to surrogate daddy, too. if she even places!
ianthe naberius is very much the consequences of her own actions, i’m not going full apologia here, just imagining being in that position and. goddamn
#ianthe tridentarius#the unwanted guest#naberius tern#the locked tomb#harrow the ninth#nona the ninth#ianthe naberius#tridentarii#cw ianthe#m.tlt#tlt#anyway#†#i say all of this when actually i may be entering my ianthe apologist era i have a whole in defense of essay in my head that#i haven’t been up to articulating so far 🤡#like boo hoo poor her but like also KIND OF MAYBE IDK IDK LISTEN IM JUST SAYING#people have so much sympathy for harrow because of her childhood trauma but i feel likeeee. ianthe’s childhood sounds profoundly fucked and#neglectful even from the small glimpses we’ve gotten into it so far#doesn’t excuse her at all and also yes obviously harrow has taken concrete steps towards becoming a better person even having spent less#time being an adult i'm not discounting that at all i'm not saying they're exactly the same#just ALSO!#you know etc etc i’ll get to it eventually maybe
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OMG OK SEE MY VISION OKKKK. I KNOW THIS DOESN'T MAKE A LOT OF SENSE, BUT THE BLACK SISTERS AS THE THREE UNFORGIABLE CURSES. I KEEP SEEING PEOPLE DOING BARTY, EVAN AND REG. SO IT GAVE ME IDEAS, but like opposite.
Andromeda would be the opposite of the imperius curse ‘imperio’. They couldnt control her and she managed to escape the them and their brainwashing
Bellatrix would be the opposite of the cruciatus curse ‘crucio’, she was treated as the best because she acted like the best, and she inflicted the pain upon others.
Narcissa would be the opposite of the killing curse ‘avada kadevra’. She lived the longest out of all three and wasn’t too brainwashed or the best.
@aesthetic-writer18 fr kill me if this doesn’t make sense
#Yall actually kill me if this doesn’t make sense#Cause idk if it makes it sounds sooo muc bc better in my head 😭😭#So much better#fatimah yaps 🎀#marauders era#marauders#andromeda tonks#andromeda black#bellatrix black#the black sisters#narcissa black#bellatrix lestrange#narcissa malfoy#The three unforgivables#crucio#the unforgivables#avada kadavra#imperio
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Mom's Homemade Cookies 🍪
#everytime i want to do something wholesome with these two always turns into something that sounded much better in my head hjakjajakah#//talking ab Gary and Sheryl#i know its so silly im sorry 😔👌👌👌👌#im cringe but im free hahaha#final space#sheryl goodspeed#gary goodspeed#final space fanart#avocato#digital art#blurrydraws#hewwo user who read the hashtags uwu have a nice day 💖#oohh right. Forgot to mention the bonus thing is bc they dont know who threw the cup so they assumed HUE did it xd
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My post about Anya is making like a little ruckus on Twitter and I think it’s crazy how many people like have a problem with it.
Like you don’t have to agree with how I characterize Anya and her actions but it’s more like, why are you focused on only one aspect of her character? Why are you removing nuance from the situation? I don’t see it as giving Curly the benefit of the doubt when it comes to doing better for Anya, but as exploring his character and hers relationship with a the very little authentic facts we get about them. In truth, there’s a lot more I wish Curly did, even if it wasn’t pragmatic but I realize the issue there.
The first psychological horror game in a while that’s real intricate in its storytelling and makes you need to really need to address the morality of intentions and its already getting torn asunder smh 😔
#I don’t know if it’s the case of people who hate curly and think he should’ve just killed Jimmy won’t accept anything else#but I really am trying to get the idea that they were stuck for over a year in space together on a ship barely kept together with wildly#different and conflicting personalities who also got more hostile because they know they are going home to unemployment#it sounds heartless to say and he should have prioritized her more but in his head that’s not the only thing he has to manage and he has to#fit the necessary actions to take in his head with all that including his perception of them as a friend vs as a boss#idk I just don’t believe Curly was comforting Jimmy with the intent of helping him get rid of Anya. he wanted to help both of them he went#about it horribly like the game is literally about realizing how misguided you can be and that responsibility#and how to be responsible look different even if there are better options like it’s just weird just block my ass dawg#also I think the argument of how could the situation be worse if he stopped Jimmy is stupid cause it’s under the guise that Curly would#assume someone he trusted would just try and commit murder suicide or he’d get degloved and all his crew directly#or indirectly killed by that friend like sorry if that’s a reach statement like adding#your supplementary thoughts is how analysis is born but adding facts about events we don’t know happened and treating them like character#truths is lame is a cop out from actually engaging with parts of the story that adds grey areas to characters you wants to see in black#this is just a stupid like thing to me but it makes me sad cause I don’t even hate seeing depictions of Curly as more aware and#accommodating to Jimmy purposely but I need you to understand he thought he was doing the right thing for both his friends and his closest#friend but the key point is he thought he was doing right for both of them like what game were we both watching???#mouthwashing#like just block me pls like Anya would not share ur mindset or hold ur hand like do more than just pity her if you like her so much
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my n1 guilty pleasure is thinkin that post m2 lauretta moved deeper into criminal after several years & ended up sentenced to jail somewhere in the middle of 1970s
#sorry... had to say it. maybe i just want her to run a brothel&etc somewhere out of empire bay and#giving interviews and shit and she's in her 60+s. and ofc it's a furor. and she enjoys it (more than?) a bit#yk i just was writing texts for SC for m2 women some time ago#and im sorry .. in my delusional head if she got the chance to be in charge; havin the same amount of power#as carlo she'd be so much worse than him (<- here it means better i suppose)#i mean if she'd end up in criminal ofc she cant have an equal position it's clear etc#i just enjoy her being cruel and having no morals. why to let go all this#m2#also it'd be funny if eddie & lauretta'd keep in touch. both end up in jail#i need her to cause a furor genuinely. M4 could be if not exactly bout her#(i'm mentally bargaining w 2kczech) but at least takin place in her area of control#i remember some1 made a post like evil women in mafia series when#Here she is. Here's the woman#sorry. i may be cringe but i had to say it bc i sometimes think bout it since spring#michelle gurevich makes me think bout lauretta its like a ring bell for Pavlov's dogs#Where is this tt sound. “I DON'T GIVE A FUCK! i dont care about homeless fucking people!”#<- lauretta in my eyes#i also need her w wrinkles n greying hair so bad. im a weak person. im lying i need everything above so bad#*picture of a cat w wet eyes*
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The way love is portrayed in SK8 the Infinity fascinates me. On one hand you have Reki and Langa (and Joe and Cherry, but I'll focus on Renga to keep it simple), who constantly exhibit behaviours of emotional closeness and intimacy, yet never confess or even speak of love in regards to their own relationship (outside of metaphors, but this isn't a post about metaphors).
On the other hand you have Adam, who constantly speaks of his "love" for Langa, yet all his gestures towards him are superficial and performative (he presents him with roses, but then during the police raid Adam doesn't hesitate to get in the car with Tadashi and drive away, leaving Langa behind, while Reki risks his own safety to go and save Langa from the cops).
All Adam's professions of love don't make his obsession into actual love, and all their lack of labeling doesn't make Reki and Langa's interactions less romantic.
In a way, I see this as the showrunners' commentary on the restrictions queer anime (and queer media in general all over the world) still faces, but also on people's obsession with confessions. With refusing to look deeper into what's presented. Refusing to look at actions, and needlessly insisting on and only accepting words as confirmation, even though romantic interactions make a much more compelling love story than just romantic words.
#it's almost 2am and i wrote this on my phone#so sorry if there are any typos#this all sounded much better in my head#sk8#sk8 the infinity#renga#reki kyan#langa hasegawa#seb watches sk8
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Grandmothers and Soup
Or: Wild and Wind’s grandma make soup together, chaos ensues because that’s what I live for.
_____
“So, you cook for my grandson?” The older women looked at the champion, his knife slicing through the fish. Her wings held a similar sandy blue to the sailor, yet faded with time.
“Yup,”
“Are you making soup?”
“Yup,” The cubed bass made its way to the skillet, along with a couple of vegetables, courtesy of the villager’s welcoming.
The grandmother’s eyes squinted, “You’re making it wrong.” She saw the cook’s grip harden around the knife, but still continued, “Really wrong.”
“Well,” Wild chose his words carefully, the familiar phrase ‘respect your elders’ ringing in his mind, “How should I cook it?”
The older woman grabbed the spoon, smiling, “Glad you asked.” Opening the cupboard, a small jar, holding spices with aromas that mix in ever the perfect shape, “You need this, it’s the secret ingredient.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure.”
“Of course I’m sure,” the woman smiled as she handed Link the bowl of soup, “There is plenty to go around.”
Link grinned, chiming a quick ‘thank you’ before heading back to his waiting family.
“I got an extra bowl of soup for you!” He grinned as he presented the warm bowl to his sister, “You wanted it, right?”
The younger girl in question smiled, “Thank you!” Link nodded in accomplishment, watching the other’s wings sparkle with a cheery hue, before dimming again, “Is it true you’re going to the castle?”
Link’s smile temporarily faltered, before forcing it back up again, “Yeah, but I’ll be back before you know it! It’s not like I’m going to die there.”
The two share a laugh.
“So see you later?”
“See you later!”
…
Link Wild’s eyes flashed back into reality as he stared blankly at the older women, “And here I thought I was the only one who had senior moments,” she laughed, “You’re still young, but then again time flies for heroes like you.”
Wild gave a small smile as he gazed back at the pot, “Soup’s done?”
“Not quite yet, we need to let it sit, have I introduced you to Aryll yet?” The grandmother placed the dirty cookware in the sink, preparing to wash later.
“No, you haven’t,” His head shook, “Wind- ah, Link’s sister, right?”
“That’s right,” she agreed, “Aryll, come say hi to our guest!”
Hyrule watched as the pair walked away, and then gazed back at the soup. Taking the ladle, he slowly parted his lips to try the warm liquid, “Something’s off…”
Opening his pouch, he took some spare wood bark -that’s what cinnamon was made of, right?- gazing at it before chucking it in the pot. The soup also didn’t seem too thick, so he also grabbed an ear of corn, for some cornstarch.
Cornstarch thickened things up, right?
A couple rocks could also be used for minerals as well…
A few extra ingredients later, and the soup looked fixed. The traveler smiled in accomplishment before ladling the soup in bowls, so it could cool off.
A delicious soup indeed.
Bonus:
Wind’s grandma + wild: Here’s the soup!
Wind: This soup tastes like s[REDACTED]
Warriors: *somehow teleports into the scene, holding a bar of soap* WHAT DID I JUST HEAR???
——
second fanfic will be posted later tonight
#lu wind#lu wild#wind waker#lu hyrule#boy I had so much struggle writing this#I just wassnt feeling it#yk?#But I pushed through bc that’s what I do#that sounded better in my head
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The result from my improv 1am hair cut was something like this so I guess I'll have to change the way I doodle myself
#i was scared at first because my mum made it sound like it's awful but i really love it now and feel so much better than before#Now that i don't have the equivalent of three heads of hair hanging off of my little scalp i feel so much lighter#elys nonart tag
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I come to you on my knees… asking for a ryan dunn fic where he’s jealous and protective … im dying this is the only thing that will save Me
bite like a dog [ryan x f!reader]
desc: A guy flirts with you at the bar, and Ryan doesn't take too kindly to it
a/n: experiencing immense amounts of Ryan brainrot so I had to write this asap. angry Ry <33 it's a bit of a cliche situation but hope you like it!!
warnings: drinking, creepy flirting, semi graphic depictions of violence
word count: 763
It was your first time experiencing the glitz and glam of the LA party scene, or at least as much of it as a seedy club had to offer. Music flooded your ears as your eyes adjusted to the low light of the club, following your friends to a booth that was situated across from the bar. Ryan's arm was wrapped around your waist as you walked through the crowd, his grip seemingly tighter than usual, but you didn't think much of it as you all pilled into the little booth. No sooner had you sat down than Steve and Chris brought over a round of shots.
After that first round of shots, the alcohol kept coming, the table filled with empty glasses and beer bottles, covered in a sticky mix of liquor and beer. Your head was swimming, leaning on your boyfriend as you listened to the guys talk among themselves. "Hey, babe. can you go grab me another beer?" Your boyfriend's voice snapped you out of you little daze and it took you a moment to register what he said before getting up and heading towards the bar, leaving him to continue his conversation with the others.
You pushed your way through the crowd, finally making it to the bar, leaning on it as you waited for the bartender to finish the drink he was making before ordering. You felt someone slide in next to you, not paying it any mind. "Just one Blue Label, please." You said to the bartender, reaching for your purse before the person standing next to you put a five dollar bill down on the bar. "It's on me." The man smiled at you as the bartender took the money and handed you your beer, not giving two shits about who was pays.
"There's no need, here, let me pay you back." You said, handing him the money you'd just pulled out of your purse. "No, no, your company is all the pay back I need." He said, leaning into your personal space. "What's a pretty girl like you doing out alone?" You couldn't even retort to his previous comment before the question left his mouth, making you laugh a little at the corny pick up line, if you could even call it that. You could feel his eyes burning holes through your clothes, looking you up and down as he waited for your answer.
"I'm here with my boyfriend, actually." You said, trying to scoot away from him and get back to your group but a hand on your waist stopped you. "Oh? Well, I don't see him." The guy pulled you towards himself, clearly not caring about what you had to say, probably assuming you were just trying to find excuses to get away from him, which wasn't entirely wrong.
"How about you get your hands off her, bud?" That familiar voice calmed your nerves instantly. He sounded oddly calm, but you could hear the anger bubbling inside him, threatening to spill over any moment. "Is that the little boyfriend you were talking about?" The guy raised an eyebrow, looking Ryan over with a cocky expression, pulling you even closer instead of loosening his grip. "You're better off going home with me, sweetheart." And boom, there goes the eruption.
Ryan's fist connected with the guy's skull before you could even see him swing, the sound of bone hitting bone filling your ears over the music. They exchanged a few punches before Ryan grabbed him by the hair, smashing his head against the bar. The sound of bone on wood was worse than you could've ever expected and the guy looked more than done with the fight by the time the bouncers made their way to you. "Warned you, fucker." Ryan spat at him before getting dragged out of the bar by the bouncers, while you trailed behind them.
As soon as you were outside, you saw your boyfriend leaning against the brick wall, already surrounded by a cloud of smoke, examining his bruised and bloodied hands. "I know it's not the time but you look really hot right now." Your voice broke him out of his daze, making him laugh lightly. "Good to know." He said, reaching his hand out towards you, beckoning you closer. "Should let random creepy dudes hit on me more often, huh?" You joked, leaning on the wall next to him. He looked down at you with searing eyes, his arm wrapped possessively around your shoulders.
"Jeez, I'm joking! You're like an angry guard dog!" "So what if I am?"
#idk this sounded so much better in my head#everyone keeps asking me for jealous and possessive shit lately are you guys okay#might write a different possessive ryan fic cuz I'm not the happiest with this#but angry ryan covered in blood... don't talk to me#ryan dunn x reader#jackass fic#jackass#ryan dunn#jackass x reader
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And now my art has been reposted on tiktok, have I finally made it as a creator? 🥺 But like seriously my god, I didn't think I had to say but don't repost??????? I think I've been pretty safe from it cause I normally just draw AU art but ahh making relevant art, it's a dangerous game....I just yeah, don't necessarily know what to do about it, but yeah just don't please?
#i have so much sympathy for all the gifmakers on here getting reposted and i totally understand#but art?????? art now????????? you cannot even make the same 'its easy' argument as with gifs/clips#because i literally made that from my head 😭😭😭😭#sorry i just dont wanna sound like im saying 'your reposting woes arent as bad as mine!!' more just: i am aghast#its not okay even if you credit bcs bruh i dont want my art out there#it was for all my vettonso fuckers on here 🥺#i just dont understand it like not even asking at all just crediting#wow thanks. that makes it so much better. wow.#ITS MY SHIP ART I DO NOT WANT THAT ON TIKTOK!!!! even if it was just normal art!!! no thank you!!!!!!#and being credited is almost worse bcs bruh the 'skitskatdacat63 from tumblr' THIS IS MY SAFE PRIVATE SPACE OKAY#thank you to grace for telling me <3 i really appreciate it#ugh i wanna make like a direct callout but i hate confrontation(thank you for the support tho cofi lmao)#but i will complain!#it just really sucks that i have to say this#its also really not any of you guys. i trust all my friends 100% 🥺 so i hate that i have to say this yknow#but UGHHHHHH PISSES MW OFF SO MUCH#and also. it was a shitpost 😭 pick better art to repost(joke)#but the way my heart dropped when i saw 😭 im like. is nothing sacred anymore?#catie.rambling.txt
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Many on Quesadilla island believe that Fitmc was very much closeted to himself and the world up until he arrived on the QSMP, but perhaps that closet wasn't quite as locked as some may presume.
With the environment of 2b2t being so rife with hatred and homophobia, a deep and meaningful relationship was always out of the question. But within its depths lay the rub, of Fit, going through the all too familiar queer experience of being very aware of his sexuality against this toxic landscape, and knowing the possibility of others out there being just like him. Others whom he could never risk reaching out to in public, but longed to all the same.
He'd heard and seen his fair share of casual to severe homophobia, as well as witnessing with some amusement how the homoerotic tension some players swear against can tear factions apart. He knows all too well the irony that comes with a land so dominated by toxic masculinity and bigotry. This is a place where a man will stare you in the eyes, caress your cheek so gently, then spit in your face in disgust before insta-killing you. Of course, the price for outing somebody in such a place is a pretty penny for sure. Being a blank slate in the land of anarchy is your strongest asset. The last thing you want to do is throw fuel onto the fire and give people even more of a reason to put your head on a spike.
And so, he kept his feelings repressed- for the most part. He'd hide a blush as he melted internally over a handshake with a particularly muscular allied base leader. He'd allow himself the luxury of a poster, of an old Hollywood western starring a (very) dashing cowboy, that he'd stick crudely on the bedroom wall of wherever he'd end up staying for a while. But perhaps, just a couple times, he'd had a few small but significant experiences: the touch of a hand on his for just a fraction too long, warm eyes from a face he can't quite remember looking him up and down, all but rendering him breathless. Split second opportunities that would make those feelings bubble up to the surface, too strong to ever truly ignore. Being a lone mercenary in a world of anarchy is all well and good, but God does it get lonely.
He and Pac like to take things slow. It's a mutual decision. Neither of them have ever truly felt the need to sit down and discuss why. Fit wouldn't like him to know what he thinks about whenever the subject drifts towards the two of them going any further with their relationship. Every time Pac makes any kind of suggestive advance, heck, even if he looks at the man for too long, his mind can't help but think back to one quiet night on 2b2t, so many years ago. Flashes of encountering a stranger, deep underground, of a clumsy, desperate kiss. Stubble on stubble, the raw smell of dirt and sweat and cigarette smoke. He remembers the thrill, the terrifying electricity of it all, until a clatter was heard in the cave behind them and the moment was gone forever. It meant everything and nothing at the same time, that chance encounter. It was the closest he'd ever came to a real connection with somebody. He didn't know what became of the other man who so urgently whispered 'run', into his ear. He could have killed Fit right there, made a point of it, and yet he didn't. The mere memory of it petrified him, but by God, did he feel alive.
All the same, he didn't dare risk anything like that again. That was until he came to the QSMP, a place where he didn't have to hide himself from others, but still he airs on the side of caution. He's afraid of getting things wrong, of throwing himself into something he can't run away from. This isn't just some random encounter with a player in 2b2t. Pac is different. Fit knows he's got a past of his own, he sees how it torments him sometimes. What if daring to make a move, even kissing him opens up old wounds for the both of them?
Fit's no longer hiding in the dark. Making things 'official' with Pac is not a once in a lifetime chance, but the longer Fit hangs around him he feels like it is. He wants to keep Pac safe just as he kept himself safe for all those years. When he finally lets himself get closer to his roommate, one wrong move and another hypothetical cave noise could sound, followed by the form of something even more terrible that could rip the two apart forever and send Fit straight back to square one.
Slow and steady wins the race. Slow and steady keeps them both safe.
But God, what he'd give to feel that thrill again.
#aka the one where qfitmc has kissed men#i did in fact write out the entire kiss encounter#but it was too much of a narrative thing lol#i'm not good w not writing fics(?) like they're not genuine analysis#i've probs mischaracterised the shit out of qfit but i've had this encounter in my head for a month so forgive me for my demons#mission man is probably a jilted ex atp with the way I've penned this#this has been in my drafts for so long it's awful </3#q!fitmc#qsmp#hideduo#please read this with a british accent in mind it'll sound better x
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He sees all, especially the comfort in that box.
#< w >#owl eye boy#frankie files#hes doing really well lately!!!#since his last vet visit they changed his meds#removed one and added something called Vetmedin#its expensive and vet exclusive because it was made for dogs#but hes perked up so much and runs around all day and yells all day#and sits on my head when im sleeping and bites my hair when im sleeping#and demands outside time EVERYDAY even tho its VERY COLD#but god i love him so much im so so happy hes feeling more himself ; w ;#i was so worried about his health... im glad hes doing better#this guy takes more meds every day than i do man#had to get him his own med organizer but its helped a lot#hes got expensive meds and expensive food but lord i love that expensive beast so much#hes 12 this year i believe :3#saw an Insta reel that someoen crumpled news paper balls or whatever into a box#then tossed some treats in and he loves it#loves to sit in it. loves to snurff around like a hog looking for truffles#good entertainment for a guy thats not super interested in most toys#anyway hes so fucking handsome. witness my baby boy#you look at this huge man and you wonder what he sounds like#and its the highest little baby boy meows . so sweet
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