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you-are-my-neverland · 2 years ago

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[id: a header with a deep blue gray background. in the center, there is a circular photograph of a lighthouse. behind the photo is a monoline sun, eclipsed by the photo. in block text across the center reads ‘the metamorphosis of the lost: an update’ / end id]

it’s been a while since i’ve done one of these, but my writing has been going pretty well these past couple of weeks, so while i prepare other content (re: character intros (!!!). in 2022, i’ve managed to cobble together act iii: relapse, which was written over the course of the spring semester. i also, more recently, started act iv: revolution, and that’s going by nicely, especially as i strive to meet my daily word goals (hello, excel spreadsheet).

anyways, in honor of having a taglist with more than one person on it, i’ve decided to post a few excerpts, which i haven’t really done for this wip lol.

all words + the taglist will be under the cut for length purposes.

i. the red saint & her shadow.

(an interaction between june and india from the beginning of act iii. a/n: this was written at the beginning of the year. writing them currently, i really feel like i’m missing something from their dynamic, so i’ve been rereading this scene a lot lol.)

Belladonna was quiet, her face slightly pinched beneath the domino.

“If you didn’t have to,” she started. “Then why did you?”

“How could I not?” India said, and it sounded too honest, too vulnerable, even to her own ears, as if it was painfully obvious she was revealing some hidden part of herself to someone else. “Back then, I believed they were helping the city. When I was younger, I used to scoff at the idea of vigilantes and heroes, but after a while, after seeing it firsthand, I did become convinced that I could change things for the better for someone else. It gave me a drive for the first time in my life. Instead of just trying to survive for no particular reason, I could do something about it.”

“Yes, I was young. Fifteen. All the people I know started out younger.” She paused, thinking carefully over how to formulate her next thought. “Someone I knew used to always say that we can’t help what happened to us, or what it turns us into, but we can try and change ourselves once we see our own reflection. We can make things clearer. We can use what we see as flaws to do better. I grew up in the South District. I was an orphan. I learned how to hurt other people to protect myself. I never thought about justice because I never thought it was something I could control.”

Until now. Until then.

India hated to think that Vin had given her anything, but he had. He had given her power for the first time in her life, had allowed her to write her own destiny, decide how she wanted to do things, more so than anyone else had ever before.

It was what had blinded her, in the end. Believing that following someone else’s cause was her own. India had been beholden just as everyone else was; that was why she had been benched. She just hadn’t realized it, how trapped she actually was.

Now she was free. Now no one could tell her what to do. Now India was allowed to decide what was right and wrong and act on it.

No more changing herself. No more being told to be better, be different, be someone else, someone they thought was more than whatever she was, a South District orphan born and raised on the rocks, unable to outgrow her own edges for fear of how unprotected it would leave her. India might not love her roots, but they were hers, in the end. She had come from this city. She was Kevlan, through and through.

ii. flame & phantom

(another excerpt from act iii. emrys and mika go patrolling after finding out india is alive as the red saint, but are unable to save a woman’s life. a/n: somehow, a lot of tmotl ended up being emrys’ story, which i can’t say i mind. her pov is a lot of complicated thoughts most of the time.)

She had said she could do this. She had sounded so cool and confident, too. Emrys had been proud of herself, for being able to stand up for what she wanted. The rest of the conversation hadn’t gone as well, but she hadn’t let herself be shut down. Not this time.

Now, she thought that they probably had a point, about her. Maybe she couldn’t do this.

Maybe she could.

Maybe both thoughts were equally terrible.

“I’m going to find India,” she announced. The flames licked at the edges of the jacket, already crinkling, the outer layer peeling away as the cloth beneath caught more easily, the fire dancing up into the sky with a bright shower of sparks that had her flinching back and shielding her face. The embers fell to the ground around Mika’s feet, burning and burning and then burning out.

Mika didn’t say anything. Emrys glanced at him coolly, and found him looking away from her. Fine by her. She didn’t care if he approved or not; better he didn’t notice she was gone at all, until she could clear more space.

Emrys waited another few seconds just to be sure, ignoring the part of her that whispered that she should check on him, make sure he was okay, but this was Mika. He was never not okay. Nothing fazed him, and no one.

She sighed, staring down at her own feet, battered and bruised through the white of the ballet flats. There were drops of blood scattered along the seams, which bothered her now that she had noticed; she couldn’t stop focusing on it, the innocuous drops in no pattern except the one she conjured.

Mika still hadn’t said anything. Emrys looked at the embers of the jacket, then turned to scan the skyline, wondering where she could start, the wind whipping through her body and helping to pull her seams apart with vicious, grabby hands.

The abandoned warehouse, she thought. The place where India had died. She should start there, right? If there was going to be anything anywhere, it would be there. Maybe a clue to India’s resurrection, even.

Emrys started to walk without even really thinking about it, setting forward at a determined pace, quickening as she got further and further away from the fire, and getting colder and colder. Without her jacket, much of the skin of her body was bare to the winds, her tank top protective but not warm. Kevla had vicious winters, so the fall became crueler as the months went by.

She had turned the corner by the time she heard the footsteps behind her, not clattering or loud, but soft and steady, a quiet, rhythmic thump that belayed Mika grabbing her arm and grinding them both to a halt as he slowed, clothes and hair settling back down on his body as gravity descended.

“Let me go,” she said, white knuckled.

Mika let her go. Emrys turned to move, and he tripped her. It was only years of getting used to falling that had her catching herself with a half-dance of steps, turning so that they were facing one another.

“Enough of this,” Mika said. His eyes were burning. She could hear the quiet sounds of him breathing, harsher than normal.

“No,” she said. “I told you. I’m going to find India.”

“And Crow and X-le told us not to,” Mika said.

Emrys scoffed. “Like you’re the poster child for following orders.”

“Enough,” Mika repeated. “We’re either finishing patrol or going home.”

Another Emrys would have been happy that he used the word home, but this Emrys was feeling vicious and vengeful and torn up inside.

“I don’t want to,” she said spitefully.

“Flame,” Mika said, the warning clear.

“You’re my partner, not my boss,” Emrys said scornfully.

“I’m not either of those things,” Mika hissed, stepping closer. “I’m just the person making sure you don’t fuck anything up.”

That hurt. Emrys didn’t flinch, and was absurdly proud of herself for growing thicker skin in the time since a few hours ago. She was getting better and better at it.

“I didn’t ask you to do that!” she burst out. “You’re the one that followed me to begin with. I never asked for your help.”

“But you needed it,” Mika said, and though she couldn’t see his mouth, she could picture the small, cruel tilt of his half smile. She had to narrow her eyes to stop tears from falling, already feeling them well up in her eyes, like she was some weak and pathetic person who couldn’t keep it together.

“I’m going to look for India,” she repeated. “You can go home if you want.”

iii. sunrise after the fall gala

(an interaction between india and june in the aftermath of the fall gala (which takes up the majority of the beginning of act iv) and india’s ill thought out confrontation with the black saint. a/n: more recent writing and a more recent interaction between these two. act iv has been a mess lol.)

The laugh slid off India’s face.

“You can’t create something from nothing,” she said savagely. “I imagine that not even Catrin Flint can save someone who was burned alive.”

“Someone could,” June replied steadily.

“Then maybe it was Kevla herself,” India remarked sarcastically, rising to her feet and gritting her teeth against the spasm her leg sent.

“You’re really not curious?” June asked, also standing. The morning air nipped at her cheeks, the rosy glow of the rising sun starting to cascade over the skyline ahead of them.

India shrugged carelessly. “It’s not that I’m not,” she said. “It’s just that it doesn’t matter. Or, it didn’t.”

June eyed her, pondering the words. In a way, that was understandable. June herself tried to care as little as possible pertaining to the motive of The Organization or the Benefactor. Motivation didn’t matter in the end. It was the actions that did.

They were both women of action, though they went about it very differently.

“Will I be hearing from you soon?” India asked after a second.

June looked at her, parsing her thoughts.

India raised an eyebrow. “Last time I checked, we were kind of in on this together, right? This whole revenge scheme, or whatever you want to call it,” she hurriedly corrected after June coolly raised an eyebrow at the words “revenge scheme.”

June considered her. “Yes,” she said after a pause. “We are.”

India smiled. It transformed her face beneath the domino, softening the edges. India, June had found, often bared her teeth, but rarely smiled.

“I’m a comm away,” she said, sounding almost pleasant and energized at the prospect.

“I might take you up on that soon,” June said.

“Not gonna kiss and tell then?” India replied. “Just going to string me along.”

June surprised herself by the sharp half laugh that bubbled out of her.

“You’ve been helpful,” she said instead of replying, doubting that she could match India’s newfound wittiness. She had always had a sense of humor, even as a child. June was used to being the dour, serious one. Now she was the serrated blade, cold as steel and just as harsh. “Thank you.”

India sobered, looking at her as if she was an alien before she managed a stiff and slightly unsure, “You’re welcome.”

“Take care of yourself,” June added. “I don’t want to find you dead in a ditch before you can be useful.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” India replied sarcastically, but they had talked enough times for June to pick up the undercurrent of fondness with which she said it. “Take care, Belladonna.” She gave June a two fingered salute, and June found herself returning her impression of it before she could stop herself.

India smiled, and then she was sauntering off into the darkness, only a slight limp in her step and the helmet tucked under her arm any indication of what had gone down only hours previously.

June smiled privately to herself. India was wearing off on her.

taglist (scream to be added or removed!): @cannivalisms @sunshineomeara @thepixiediaries @muddshadow

#wip: tmotl #writing #my writing #writers on tumblr #writeblr #creative writing #writing excerpts #wip: the metamorphosis of the lost #sorry this is so long but i just couldn't cut them #act iv has like nothing i want to share so far i'll literally cry about it sigh #also: mika and emrys have a sibling relationship. before anyone asks #ik how their interactions could be taken out of context like here but they are in no way romantic #just to clear that up #i miss india and june...my girlies...#act iii was kind of good for something i wrote over like five months while studying for exams and starting work lol #and now it's just like ???#anyways thanks for taking the time to read #it has been way too long since i posted actual excerpts so i am out of practice

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floatingpetals · 5 years ago

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Out of Water || Part 1

Pairings: Mer!Bucky Barnes x Reader x Mer!Steve Rogers (Mermaid AU)

Warnings: maybe a little language, fluffy fluff, hint of smut,

Word Count: 1600+

Summary: Neither Steve nor Bucky could have known the horrors they had to face in order to make sure their mate was safe in their arms. Now that they were here, the two swore they were never going to lose it. They had their mate, their love and home, but in a world not their own. The climb was over but their shared journey was far from it.

A/N: First things first, you HAVE to read Edge of the Water to get anything that’s going to happen. This isn’t a stand-alone and needs to be read in order.

Now that's done, I just wanna thank @empyreanwritings for her wonderful donations on my ko-fi!! As a thank you, I’m starting her request for more of mer!stucky. No way was I going to deny her such a wonderful request! I hope you all like this series too. It’s not going to be nearly as long as the original either. I just have plans for a few cute little stories revolving around the three. Let me know what you all think!! Enjoy! ❤

*I will NOT be doing a tag list with this series. I think I’m going to be doing away with that considering the tags don’t actually work correctly half the time. You can follow my writing page that can be found in my header and set up notifications there.

Gif isn’t mine, credit to the creators. (@chickabiddy)

Part One | Part Two | Series Masterlist

Early morning sunlight filtered through the open sliding glass doors, warming the cool, quiet room and it’s occupants. The trio couple lay tangled together, the thin sheet covered them. Y/N was snuggled safely between her two mates, Steve and Bucky who were both bare as the day they stepped out of the machine holding her tight. The soft, silky sheets rubbed against the men’s lightly tanned skin, a change contrast to what they were accustomed too. It was still strange, waking to the feeling of cotton against skin instead of the cool water against their scales, but not unwelcome. The feeling meant something more to the two mer-turned-men that lay underneath them than for anyone else. It meant they did the impossible.

Steve inhaled deeply as he began to wake, the corner of his lips turning up into a sleepy grin. Even in his sleepy state, Steve knew how monumental this. Never in his wildest dreams did he think he would ever get this, waking up with his arms tightly around his two mates. He could finally hold Y/N in her bed and not worry about his life draining from his body. Keeping his eye shut in content, he nuzzled his nose into Y/N’s neck. A happy sigh passed through his lips and he scooted his body tighter against Y/N’s body, desperate to press as much of his skin against her as he could.

The shuffle pulled Y/N from her sleep, warmth bubbling in her stomach when she felt Steve’s fingers begin to trace delicately against her skin. She hummed quietly and reached up to bury her fingers in his hair, gently tugging at the short freshly new cut. She too knew how special this was, and every morning since she’s sent a silent thank you to whoever was up there watching over her.

It had been over two months since their first change. Tony and Maria had been incredibly accommodating, knowing that it would take the two mers a while to get used to their legs fully. They gave them a room on Tony’s hidden island, with a deck that led out to the water so they could change back to their mer bodies anytime they wanted. Maria was there to help their transition and even introduced them to a few others that had gone through the serum. Having them there made this easier, both Steve and Bucky needing that extra support. Even though they’d never admit aloud, Y/N knew this was hard for them.

There were growing pains that came along with it, even muscle pain they’ve never had before and some days the two were just sapped of energy. The transition always hurt, but Maria promised it would grow less over time. Tony swore he’d find a way to make so that the pain was no longer part of the shift. There was always a pang of distraught that would shoot through Y’N’s heart when she’d see the two of them in such pain, but they never hesitate to soothe her fears. This was what they wanted. Home was wherever she was and no about of discomfort would hold them back from being by her side.

“I can hear you thinking.” Steve murmured softly against her neck. Y/N giggled.

“It’s not like I’m trying to keep it to myself.” She mused. Steve snorted and pressed a tender kiss against her neck. He slid his left arm out from under her and used it to prop his head up, letting him stare down at Y/N while keeping his right tightly around her and Bucky. She scrunched her nose as he shuffled, the bed shifting slightly under his weight. She didn’t have to worry though. Bucky, who was always the heaviest sleeper of the three, snored on with a tiny smile on his lips.

“What’s got your mind goin’ so early?” Steve asked. Y/N shrugged and blinked up at Steve. He still managed to take her breath away every day, and this morning was no different with the soft drowsy look in his eyes. The light hit his eyes just right they shone the same blue as the ocean he was born from, his face relaxed and content.

“Just thinking about you two and how everything’s so different now.”

“Good different, I hope?” Steve tilted his head. Y/N cracked a grin and nodded.

“Very good.” She soothed. Steve fell quiet, letting the sound of the waves filter through the doors. Y/N didn’t find his sudden drop in the conversation odd, he was always the quiet thinker of the two mers. Instead, she nestled further into the sheets and turned to press her cheek against Bucky’s chest. The other’s chest rumbled at the contact and his arm instinctually tightened around her waist.

It had become routine. Steve would wake first to watch over Y/N and Bucky for a few peaceful moments before Y/N slowly woke too. The two would lay awake, whether in a blissful silence to just enjoy each other’s company or talk softly about their plans for the day before Bucky would gradually wake. But every morning all ended the same. Both mers would hold Y/N tight and smile widely to each other, their hearts happy and full. This morning would be no different.

“Tony needs us to get your passports and ID’s done sometime this morning.” Y/N spoke after a few minutes. Steve hummed and let his head fall back to the pillow.

“I know. Still don’t want to know how he’s going to make us legal humans,” Steve grumbled under his breath. Y/N snorted. She’d have to agree with him on that.

Tony had been nothing but a godsend, but some of his practices were interesting, to say the least. He had his finger in practically every seat of power, and Y/N was nervous to ask him exactly what it was that his father had done to create such a legacy. Yet so far, the man had done nothing to give her suspicion that he might be less than as clean that he makes himself out to be. All the ones he’s saved have done nothing but speak highly of him. They were safe and happy, truly the end goal Tony had for them all. Even the few scientists that work with him sang praises of the man. Y/N has just decided to come to terms with the fact there are aspects to Tony’s life she didn’t need to know.

One of the things he had been working on, another reason why they were still there on the little hidden island, was that he wanted to make sure they were comfortable in their bodies before producing IDs for Bucky and Steve. He wasn’t going to just throw them out there into the world, they’d never make it ten feet without an ID to get them around. Flying would be completely out of the picture if they wanted to go from country to country. Tony wanted to make sure they would be comfortable with their new lives and was doing every step down to the letter to make sure it would be so.

They had just gotten the all-clear for the physical therapist four days ago, and now Tony had all their information written up and ready to print. All he needed was them to get their pictures taken.

“If Tony can make a deliberate explosion pass as a fake accident and a real cause of death, I’m not going to argue with his methods of making you legal.” Y/N muttered. There was an answering grunt, but not from Steve.

“I dunno what you’re talkin’ about, but it’s too early for the speaking.” Bucky groused. Y/N felt Steve lift his head up before hearing him snort.

“It’s nine o’clock in the morning.”

“Still too early.” Was the quick retort.

Y/N didn’t need to see Steve’s face to know he was rolling his eyes at Bucky.

“I’m not the one who insisted on that third-round last night,” Steve said, his tone light.

“You also didn’t argue about it either,” Bucky shot back and rubbed his eyes. Admitting defeat, he grumbled more under his breath while he rolled on to his back to stretch with a groan. He let his left arm flopped back on the bed and sighed overdramatically as he stared at the ceiling.

Y/N laughed fondly at his pout and cupped his cheek. She turned his face to hers and gave him a quick peck on the lips. Bucky perked up, and before she could pull away, he swooped in to press his lips against hers in a slow tender ‘good morning kiss.’ He didn’t let her go until he was sure she was a breathless puddle in his hands.

“Now kiss Steve so I can too.” He urged gently. Y/N didn’t bat an eyelash at his command and quickly turned to do just as he said.

One corner of Steve’s mouth was turned up in a crooked grin, a dash of smug content written across his features. Her easy acceptance didn’t go over his head and both Steve and Bucky made a mental note to test that theory out later. With a feather-light touch, he moved his lips against Y/N’s before claiming her mouth as his. She melted under his touch, her hand blindly reaching out to hold on to him. Her fingers curled around his shoulder, her thumb brushing against the thin lines that would be his gills.

In his human form, Steve had no need for them. They were just two thin black lines on either side of his neck. ‘Almost like a tattoo’ Maria had said once or twice before. His lungs worked like humans so they sealed shut during the shift. However, just because he didn’t need them, didn’t mean he could feel them. Y/N’s accidental touch sent delicious sparks down his spine, igniting that fire inside his stomach. He hissed at the contact and yanked his head back.

“I’m sorry!” Y/N gasped, her eyes flying open wide in horror, assuming the sound was one of pain. She knew they were still sensitive, even if he didn’t use them. “I didn’t mean to hurt-.”

Her voice was caught in her throat at the look on Steve’s face. He wasn’t the least bit upset, quite the opposite in fact. His pupils were blown open wide, and a feral grin had spread across his face. She felt Bucky’s muscles tighten behind her, the excitement rolling off him in waves. He knew that look too and was eager to follow through with the wicked plans Steve was already making.

A low purr came from Steve’s chest and the smirk grew.

“There’s been a slight change of plans.” He rasped before leaning forward to nip at the skin on her neck. His voice dropped an octave, the grin growing wider. “Tony’s going to have to wait.”

A shudder went down her spine when Steve latched on to her skin. A second mouth took up spot on the other side and Y/N’s eyes began to roll back in her head. The brief thought that they actually had things to do today was gone as quickly as it entered. Yeah, she thought to herself, this was a much better plan for their morning.

#stucky x reader #steve rogers x bucky barnes x reader #steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes x reader #steve rogers imagine #bucky barnes imagine #steve rogers fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfiction #steve rogers fanfic #bucky barnes fanfic #steve rogers fic #bucky barnes fic #steve rogers #bucky barnes #marvel fanfiction #marvel imagine #marvel fic #reader insert

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kwanfairy · 4 years ago

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check in tag ✅

i was tagged by @choi-hae - much obliged as always my love (ɔˆз(ˆ⌣ˆc)

1. WHY DID YOU CHOOSE YOUR URL? my url usually changes with my current hyperfixation haha oops i dont remember which video it was but the editors called Byeongkwan a fairy and i was like "yes you are so right" (♡μ_μ)

2. ANY SIDE BLOGS? nope. i only have this clusterfuck of a mess lmao i do keep all my prev url's tho cause im a sentimental bitch

3. HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN ON TUMBLR? for almost 10 years (・_・) good lord

4. DO YOU HAVE A QUEUE TAG? i tried queueing stuff years ago for a short time so i for sure had one but i dont see the need to use the queue function as i dont post any own content so

5. WHY DID YOU START YOUR BLOG? i was 16/17 when i first got really into MCR and i looked up a bunch of pics and continuously stumbled across tumblr so i thought ya know this lil website seems to cater to my needs and 10yrs and 78 hyperfixations later here we are

6. WHY DID YOU CHOOSE YOUR ICON? dsjhajkdhj is there really an explanation needed????????? I MEAN LOOK AT MY LIL MAN PLS (ಥ з ಥ)

7. WHY DID YOU CHOOSE YOUR HEADER? because i'm a huge ass simp for the boyfrriends but also mobile didnt let me change it to junhee getting smacked in the face with a balloon (but i will prob try again soon cause its just too good of a moment bless)

8. WHAT'S YOUR POST WITH THE MOST NOTES? like i said im not a content creator but the boyfriends made me do this and this (this one here is the actual post with the most notes but i didnt even credit the source and should prob delete it)

9. HOW MANY MUTUALS DO YOU HAVE? pls i have no idea literally anyone who follows me or who i am following is my beloved regardless if we follow eachother or not

10. HOW MANY FOLLOWERS DO YOU HAVE? i'd prob have 3000 if i wouldnt block all the porn bots i have 400+

11. HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU FOLLOW ...39 💀 im just very picky while complaining about my dash being dry af

12. HAVE YOU EVER MADE A SHITPOST? as i dont talk much on tumblr nothing really comes to mind but im sure ive made 1 or 2 in all those years

13. HOW OFTEN DO YOU USE TUMBLR EACH DAY? i check in a few times throughout the day but become more active before i go to sleep

14. DID YOU HAVE A FIGHT WITH ANOTHER BLOG? WHO WON? lmao no im not one to fight with ppl online. if theres someone i heavily disagree with i either unfollow or block them

15. OPINIONS ON "YOU NEED TO REBLOG THIS" POSTS? i hate the pressuring nature of those posts.. thankfully i am capable of forming my own opinions/stances and advocate them respectfully

16. DO YOU LIKE TAG GAMES? yeeeee!! as mentioned im a very introverted and timid person but i love doing these cause by tagging other ppl i can indirectly tell them that i love them (while learning about them) and by being tagged i too feel seen and appreciated („ಡωಡ„) plus they are fun in general!

17. DO YOU LIKE ASK GAMES? ive never done any but i dont think id like them. i def prefer tag games!

18. WHICH OF YOUR MUTUALS IS TUMBLR FAMOUS? yall are famous to me (ง ื▿ ื)ว ♡ !!

19. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON A MUTUAL? yall are very much loved by me (ง ื▿ ื)ว ♡ !!

20. TAGGING @stitchzmile @minbinlix @emmy-clou @awwfuckno @hotarukanzaki @brightstarinthesky as usual feel free to ignore~

#tag game #thanks again honey im always super excited when you tag me in these <3 !!!!

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maryellencarter · 4 years ago

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Queer asks copied from @corelliaxdreaming :

1. Is your family accepting? -- Hah. No. My bio-family is not accepting at allllll, so I went and got myself an internet family instead.

2. What is your sexuality? -- Weird. The strongest part of my identity is Aromantic. I seem to be pretty much allosexual, maybe bisexual; most of the people I find myself attracted to are men within a fairly specific category (physically fit to muscular, at least as competent as me, kind, and often a bit dorky; I also have a weakness for clever hands and sexy voices), but the women I'm attracted to cover a much broader range of appearances and personalities. I fall pretty much in the category of the one Tumblr post that said something like "Being bisexual means you're attracted to three specific fictional men and all women", even though the attraction to men... feels... more attraction-y? I'm still really struggling to figure that difference out.

3. What is your gender identity? -- Sort of genderfluid, sort of genderqueer, sort of maybe agnostically agender? I used to ID really strongly as a trans man, and then after a year or so of being accepted, I found myself turning female. I bounced back and forth for a lot of years but seem to have settled down at a point where it doesn't especially matter to me most of the time. Which is a lot more comfortable than hurtling around to different points on the gender spectrum without warning.

4. Favorite color? -- Blue. Royal blue, mostly. That really deep sky blue you get sometimes during the fall. A bunch of really bright colors.

5. When did you find out your sexuality? -- Oh, it's been a process. For a long time I identified as asexual. It took me years to figure out I was actually romance-repulsed, and more years to figure out I had any attraction to women. I'm still sort of confused by that part. Like I mostly just want to look at them being pretty, but I also definitely want to look at their boobs? Maybe touch some boobs? I'm honestly not sure.

6. What do you wish you could tell your past self? -- Oh lord. Sexuality and gender wise? I'm not sure young me could have been hurried along the process of self discovery. I'd really like to tell her she was being abused and gaslighted and that she needed to take her great-aunt's offer of a free ride and major in geology *before* she broke her health, and maybe also tell her she needed a CPAP machine, but she might just think I was a temptation of the Devil. Also I'm not sure if the CPAP machine was an option before Obamacare. Or the psych meds she needed, either.

7. Have you changed labels since realizing you were queer? -- Oh yeah, all over the place. Asexual, trans, genderqueer, biromantic (for about a week), aromantic allosexual bisexual maybe pansexual... some people apparently even count PCOS as an intersex condition, since I have a lot more beard and chest hair than is normal for perisex women, to the point that I always have to explain to a new doctor that I'm not in fact on testosterone, my body just does that. I've never quite felt right claiming the intersex label, but I've tried on a lot of others. I think my header may still say "queer on every conceivable axis".

8. How was your day? -- Um. I got stuck wandering Cracked.com for most of it. Then I drove up to check out my pulmonologist's office, which doesn't *say* they're closed for the pandemic, so I guess I'll go up again on Thursday and poke them about whether my appointment still exists. Then I went and wandered around a very large very dead mall on that side of town, hatched a bunch of pokeymans, then came home and ate some split pea soup.

9. Do you have any queer friends irl? -- I don't have *any* friends irl, and it's kicking my ass. I have like one or two coworkers I could hypothetically hang out with outside of work if we weren't so all-fired busy. But if we're talking "friends I have seen irl at some point", I'm pretty sure they're all queer. They might also be limited to @tigerkat24 and one other person who doesn't use Tumblr, I'm not sure.

10. What's your favorite hobby? -- Probably knitting. It's soft and squishy and brightly colored, and it can be as brainless or as complex as I could possibly want.

11. Who's the best queer icon in your opinion? -- I honestly don't have an opinion. I've always been too far outside the community to figure out whomst the options were.

12. Which pride flags do you like the most design / color wise? -- Pansexual. I'd probably have a lot more pride merch if I IDed as pan, but it just never feels like it fits quite right.

13. Do you wish you could change any pride flags? -- YES. The aro flag is the exact same colors as the agender flag, just in a different arrangement, and it pisses me off because you can't distinguish aro merch from agender merch unless it's specifically flag shaped / has the stripe arrangement. I liked the yellow/orange/green/black aro flag, I found it much more cheerful, but apparently it was too similar to something Rastafarian. But you can't find alloaro flag merch at *all*, even though it has the green and yellow, which I like.

14. Are you openly out? -- Can't really help it, since I legally changed my name to a distinctively masculine one back in the day, and I do not remotely pass as male. So anybody who both sees or hears me and knows my legal name, knows there's *something* queerish going on. (I go by a gender neutral name these days, but haven't yet been arsed to change it legally because it's an entire hassle and a half.)

15. Are you comfortable with yourself? -- Mneh. I'm not *un*comfortable with my gender and sexuality, particularly. Sometimes I wish I could pass as male, sometimes I wish I could have cute cleavage. Sometimes I tie myself in knots with my feelings about women.

16. Do you experience dysphoria? -- I used to, very strongly. It hasn't been very aggressive lately.

17. Bottom, top, or verse? -- *shrugs* I guess I'd be a switch or "verse" because I'm down for whatever.

18. Are you femme, butch, or neither? -- I swing wildly between wishing to present Extremely Butch in a lumberjack style, which is impractical in the Southwest, or wishing to present Extremely Femme but being unable to do so, and tying myself in knots over the inability. (I can't wear femmey shoes due to my stupid feet, I can't have pierced ears as they get infected and the one pair of nice lightweight handcrafted earrings I paid $50 for is gone with the rest of my shit, I'm too lorge to find any nice dresses or be able to like try on prom dresses and stuff, I have a tendency to break jewelry as I'm extremely rough on my possessions... etc.) In practice my gender presentation is Fat Slob. :P

19. Do you bind? -- Not technically, but I do wear cheap sports bras which tend to flatten rather than lift or shape.

20. Do you shave? -- Only by necessity. I shave my face when I remember, because my beard looks extremely douchey and rather like pubes. Occasionally I shave my cleavage if I'm trying to present femmey. I pretty much never shave anything else unless the hair is getting Smelly.

21. If you could date anyone you wanted, who would it be? -- Um. Good question. The thing is, I am fairly strongly romance-repulsed, but I do want and enjoy queerplatonic relationships, so I would draw a distinction here between "dating" someone and being "in a relationship" with them.

22. Are you in a relationship? -- Yes, in fact.

23. Describe your partner. -- @camshaft22 . Um. She's very much the Hobbie to my Wes. She's very snarky and dies a lot and I love her very much.

24. Have you ever dated anyone of the same gender? -- Given that we're both genderfluid, I would say I'm in a relationship with someone of the same gender, yes.

25. Dated anyone of another gender? -- I've never dated or been in a relationship with anyone else, so I guess the answer is no.

26. Tell me a random fact about yourself! -- I always use this one, but I once lived in four different states (mostly non-contiguous) within a calendar month.

27. Do you own any pride flags / merch? -- No. I used to have a whole-ass collection that I added to every Pride, and then I lost all my damn shit and haven't had the heart to start looking again. Well, I have a rainbow necklace Kat sent me which is pretty nice. Can't wear it till my damn sunburn heals, though. :P

28. Have you ever been to a pride parade? -- Yes, when I lived in Bisbee. They have quite an excellent Pride which draws people from as far off as Denver.

29. Any advice to someone who isn't out or is exploring themselves? -- Take your time. It's okay if things change. You don't have to solve yourself all at once. It's more important to find people who will accept whoever you turn out to be.

30. Pineapple on pizza? -- I've honestly never tried it. Part of me feels like I should, in order to develop an opinion, and part of me feels like I'm just as happy being outside of that particular debate.

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normal-thoughts-official · 5 years ago

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At what exact moment do you think malec fall in love?that moment in 1×06 when Magnus uses Alec's strength and then falls down exhausted? It's such an underrated moment but one can write a whole essay on it

as a matter of fact, yes, i do believe it was the moment in 1.06 (there is a reason it is my header, after all) and im really glad u asked because its one of my favorite moments and Ive been thinking of making a post about it in forever but never got to it so [cracks knuckles]

well, actually, i think 1.06 was the moment magnus fell in love. i dont know when alec fell in love, to be honest - i think with him, it was just something that kind of settled and clicked into place, you know? there was that attraction and there was the fact that magnus was an amazing person who had amazing chemistry with alec and who fought for him and extended his hand and tried to comfort him without judgement when no one would really allow him to be himself - and who gave him a space to be more of him than any other. but i dont think there was a precise moment when it hit Alec, and suddenly he had fallen; i think he realised he loved magnus when he said he loved him, but at that point it was already cemented. alec is a steady, careful guy; when he falls, he falls hard and becomes an absolute imbecile but until then it kind of settles in slowly, lodges itself inside of him until its carefully in place, and he doesnt really know when it happened. honestly, i relate to that because that's how it works for me, too.

but with Magnus, it was a little different - he had closed himself off from love for centuries, and while obviously he only fell in love with alec because he was already on the pathway to recover and had been for a while now, sure and steady (alec is definitely the right person for him, but he also came at the right time, cuz if he hadnt Magnus wouldnt really be able to allow himself to give in to the obvious pull they had), breaking that kind of wall is hard and is, for many people, something that happens suddenly, all at once, like the crash of a tsunami wave; it kind of isnt there until it suddenly is, flooding out and filling you. and with magnus that's definitely what happened; he had a click moment, when suddenly his walls were down and he found himself feeling, despite himself

you can see a clear difference in how magnus treats alec in 1.04-05 and how he does in 1.06. in 1.04-05 hes flirty, yes, obviously interested, but hes doing it teasingly, playfully, confident in a way that is only possible when theres not much on the line. don't get me wrong, i dont think he was using alec or lying to him - that's not the kind of person Magnus is at all - i just think that it was harmless flirting and interest with not much at stake. he was keeping his kind of playboy, devil-may-care persona (with the exception of the moment when he told alec there was nothing to be ashamed of, because of course magnus "compulsive emotional support" bane would immediately drop the act when he sees someone struggle. ugh. and alec notices this, too, all right, he can see right through to the person magnus really is in that moment, even if he closes himself off). and that wasnt even just in front of Alec; the whole "playing hard to get, i love a challenge" thing was after alec had hung up, there was no one there, he was just talking to himself the dumb dork and it is clear there is not much at stake for him here; he isnt in love, so theres no chance of heartbreak

compare that to the way he acted during drinks with Alec in 1.06. its a completely different person. even in his posture, the way he looks at Alec and moves around him, his facial expressions, theres a softness and vulnerability that just wasnt there at any point before (did yall thank Harry Shum Jr for ur rights today? seriously the man is such a great actor his talent is unbelievable). and for magnus to allow himself to be vulnerable- well, that's big. that's what he was scared of, after all. that's what has brought him hurt and made him swear off romantic relationships for so long

and he says this; he opens up to alec, a person he barely knows, tells him a little about his past, tells Alec hes unlocked something in him. it's not harmless flirting anymore, its not just a mere pursuit of someone hes casually interested in; theres something way, way deeper going on, and this is abundantly clear throughout the whole scene and every single one of magnus' actions. magnus has fallen. this is serious now; hes feeling things he didnt even remember how to, and his entire demeanor changes.

and look, that's really important to me, okay, because i hate the whole love at first sight thing. so when i started watching sh, i was kind of turned off from malec because i was like "oh theyre gonna suddenly fall in love for no reason" but no. that's not what happened. they had attraction, and chemistry, yes, for sure, definitely, but the feelings that sparked inside of them were very much real and solid and built organically, even if quickly. malec is so powerful because their attraction and devotion to each other makes sense, and because their relationship is so trusting, happy, fun, and healthy.

so lets go to 1.06 - the defining moment, the big game changer for the both of them. i know the exact milisecond magnus falls in love - its this one

(gif isnt mine, i had it saved on my phone and dont remember who made it; if you do, please let me know so i can credit them)

bitch, you are seeing it happen!!! you're watching it, right now!! the way he looks up and his whole face changes; he goes from heavy breaths to these little puffs of air, looks up at alec in awe, and it's all over his face, the softness in his features, the open vulnerability hes showing for the very first time in the entire show - even when he was almost running out of magic, he still looked way more put together than he does in this moment; in here he is open, he has no masks, and hes absolutely soft and open and vulnerable. and you can see it dawn on him too, the realisation that he let alec in, just late enough for it to be too late. it's done. god, i cant fucking believe harry shum jr invented acting. like holy shit, dude

and alec sees it too; in this moment he looks down and he sees the vulnerability in magnus' face and he knows this is the real magnus; that's what he looks like without all the walls and masks, and it's just- beautiful. incredible. you can see the love and the softness inside of him and it's just so easy to find a home in those eyes of his, and ugh, i might be changing my mind, this was the moment alec fell in love too

but anygays, why now, right? what was the big gamechanger in this scene?

well, first of all, id like to stress again, just for good measure, that magnus was already well on his path to recovery from abuse and beginning to open up again; his journey through finding self love and strength to stand on his own feet and be able to open himself for others is his and his alone. alec could be his perfect match (and he is) (fuck it i dont care they are perfect for each other, i never really thought there was such a thing even in fictional couples but shit dude they really are as perfect as it gets, malec truly invented love its unbelievable) and it still wouldnt matter if magnus wasnt ready not only to open up, but to get in a relationship as his own person, and not putting himself down like with camille. of course, he still has a long way to go, and recovery is not a straight line, so he still does things like not tell him when hes hurt and downplay his own pain so as not to "annoy" him or whatever, but he is on equal ground. the very first thing that happens when they finally get together (after the whole wedding ordeal) is, they fight. because alec was being an asshole and treated magnus badly and was really rude and magnus was hurt and he was tired of always being the one to chase after Alec, and he told him that. that's extremely important, because it establishes that Magnus isnt just running after Alec or doing anything for him - he wants a mutually fulfilling relationship and hes willing to fight for it, demand it, not accept less than it. and that's fucking recovery right here, folks. it's so hard for previously abused people to do that. so hard. it still is hard for him, but hes doing it. so, again: Magnus' journey to opening up and finding space for a healthy relationship in his life is his and his alone. and they were lucky as shit to have met when they did.

so, with that being said: 1.06 (god, this answer is such a mess, im ndjdjdidicn). you can see magnus fall in love, right then and there. the moment it happens: when he falls, and realises Alec is still holding him, making sure hes steady. not just that, but holding his hand (despite that being totally unnecessary now), and asking him if he's okay.

it's really unsubtle symbolism (and i mean that in the best possible way): Alec holding him when he fell symbolizes support; holding his hand symbolizes caring, because he could just hold him as to not let him fall, but the fact that hes holding his hand shows that hes trying to support him not just physically, but emotionally; and asking if hes okay shows genuine worry and desire to listen to his needs. again, really unsubtle; but fuck it, that's also part of what makes it powerful, because when was the last time magnus had that, that open caring and supporting and reaching out for him? i mean, obviously Magnus has his friends who are amazing and great to him, but this feeling, of being cared for, so easily, so openly, so obviously, from someone who barely knows him, hell, from a shadowhunter - this is new. both because he hasnt really allowed it - after all, you need to fall for someone to catch you - and because he just. hasnt had that. every time before, when he showed vulnerability, he had his wounds open wide and used against him - with asmodeus after his mom, with Camille after whatever happened that made him consider suicide. and then suddenly this guy shows up, and Magnus didnt even mean to be vulnerable in front of him, not really, he was supposed to hold it, but he does and what he finds is just- caring. worrying. sweetness. a grounding presence and touch. alec is completely focused on him, and isnt rushing him to get back on his feet or anything - hes just holding him and being there for him. he wasnt even looking for it, and suddenly there it is - that trust and reciprocity hed been craving for so long.

and yeah, its unsubtle, but that's also there in more subtle ways; magnus asks for his help, and alec comes without questioning, even if he's mad with pretty much everyone involved. he asks Alec to give him his strength, and he does, openly, without walls - dude, that is so intimate, and you can see how easily the magic flows between them; that's something that can only happen so smoothly if the required trust is given without a second thought. alec is giving his life force to this guy, whom he barely knows, and he doesnt hold back at all - Magnus needs it, he gives it. easy, simple. trusting. an open, clear connection. hes worried about Magnus from the start; he gets in and his first reaction is yelling for magnus and kneeling beside him to make sure hes okay. hes already kind of holding magnus even before magnus falls; he puts himself in a position where hes kind of supporting magnus' weight, and just focuses on giving magnus what he needs. up to this point no one even bothered to ask magnus what he needs. and look, Alec isnt perfect, and he definitely still has his prejudices and ignorance at this point, but this is something special. having someone just give it their all to make sure ur okay, from the get-go, trusting you like that- that's not everyday. specially not for magnus. I think maybe Magnus wouldnt even have lowered his guard enough to have that stumble if Alec hadnt been so easily showing him hes in there together with him, as equals, without so much as a second thought- magnus' persona is polished. hes been through worse without stumbling both before and after. his guard was already down, because Alec had been showing himself to be trustworthy from the start.

and after that, it just keeps going. alec helps him clean up his apartment, without being asked, long after everyone else has already gone - he listens to Magnus talk about his past, attentively, without judgement. he even shows some vulnerability of his own - that fucked-stupid smile when magnus raised his hand to his lips, the glances he throws magnus' way, the way he even manages to talk a bit about his insecurities and confusion; hes opening himself up to Magnus, too. hes smitten. hes interested. the connection is established. he stays the night, and they end up talking all night long, despite the fact that Alec was called to work, and we dont even know about what. we know they are similarly competitive and have a good chemistry, so clearly this was a good, fun talk; but theres something running way deeper in there, too. magnus is showing alec a lot of himself, and alec is not only welcoming it, but reciprocating it as best as he can. that moment of spark isnt gone; it keeps growing, the bond that was formed gets stronger. at this point, Magnus has fallen (i firmly believe that he fell in that exact moment he looked up at Alec) but it gains shape and strength during that night and talk; its a little frustrating because Alec cant face what he wants, but the pull is real and strong enough for it to get stronger, the shapes clearer.

so- yeah. Magnus fell for Alec in 1.06, the moment he realised that he was willing to have his back, to see him as he was and welcome it and treat it with care; and to give him back in return. Magnus fell for Alec when he realised that, somehow, he had already formed the beginnings of a bond with him - the kind that's solid, that means trust and care and effort while also being easy, fun, nice. alec fell for magnus when he looked at him and saw someone that was also struggling with showing who he was, but who wasnt scared; someone who was kind, and good, and willing to listen to him and try to help him and who valued him. and that is so. fucking. important.

#ask #pastaownsmylife #sorry i got a little carried away but lets be real we all knew it would happen #im emo im dying squirtle #sh #shadowhunters #malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #meta #malec meta #magnus bane meta #sh meta #overflowing trashcan

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themelodicenigma · 4 years ago

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So you really DON'T believe that Sora looks like Ven or Roxas??? Wtf lmao Bluerosesburnblue stuck to the facts there as usual, so why are you fighting the truth so hard? I dont want to sound rude but nothing you said made any sense. It's PERFECT for Sora to have been influenced by Ven and its basically implied in BBS.

I do like how the moment I allow anonymous asks again, the questions come flying in. Especially, when this is one of four that I’ve received talking about the same thing since those posts. I can’t tell if it’s even the same person, or if I just riled up some indignant feathers of her followers. I don’t know Blue personally, but I do feel pretty confident that she wouldn’t encourage one of the things you (probably) sent based on her comments about similar behavior during the SRT debunk. I know that the original inquirer, Mademoiseli, wouldn’t like it either.

Well done.

In any case, you could’ve brought it to the table on the reblog/comment chain instead of in my ask box, but...

Okay.

I am pretty tired of this conversation and the impact it has had on my interaction with others, so this is probably going to be the last time I address this unless any actual new information comes about regarding this part of the story. There is something that needs to be realized though:

For one—the reason why I even commented in the first place and why the conversation took its turn is essentially linked. The reason I entered it was because I held a difference to these statements and phrases made by Blue’s first answer:

“I think it’s certainly possible that Sora’s connection to Ventus did effect his appearance in a number of ways, and out of every possibility that one seems the most likely to me.”

along with:

“Ultimately, I can’t say for certain that Ventus had an impact on Sora’s appearance, but since there seems to be a good deal of evidence supporting that it would be possible, it’s one of the better explanations in my opinion.”

[via Blue post]

Admittedly, I was “triggered” to respond from this, which so happen to be the opening and closing statements of the posts. But, I understand that I shouldn’t have been prompted by it in the way that I was (not fully, anyway).

In that, she was primarily talking about the topic of Ven influencing Sora’s physical appearance as a probable explanation to the hypothetical question of, essentially, “Why do Sora and Ventus look alike?”. All the while, looking at how the ideal was congruent with existing concepts.

I, on the other hand, in addition to that, took it as an evaluation of, not only a hypothetical scenario, but extending to that of weighing the probability of the question and explanation becoming reality within the context.

In other words, while she was much more concerned with whether there existed congruent truths between the premise (Ven influencing Sora) and the context, I was primarily concerned with establishing whether it HAS happened and judging the likelihood of it happening at all. Between us speaking on theory and concepts or plausibility and probability—these certainly aren’t mutually exclusive, but the direction of the conversation was split between the two somehow.

And I’ll take the blame for that, but in recognizing that our approaches weren’t completely separate, still, talking about the likelihood of the premise being true and/or introduced at a later time WAS still a relevant topic. It could’ve been its own conversation, but it was relevant, nonetheless.

Two—I am a person that, when encountered with a question, I am first immediately concerned with the facts. Always. Only after that do I inquire about uncertain material through a “possibility spectrum”, and what determines the strong end of this are the facts that suggest or support the proposition at hand. Through that, I’m never opposed to admitting my uncertainty about something or the existence of “breathing room” to probability. Not to mention, establishing the difference between plausibility and probability for its interaction in gauging truth—I could get more into that, but it won’t be necessary for the sake of this post.

Anyway, with that out of the way, I’m going to approach the rest of this post by centering it around this question [ID as premise]:

Premise: “Do you believe it’s possible for it to be explained that Ventus influenced Sora’s physical appearance when their hearts connected?”

Understanding the extensions and work around of the questions (Sora growing into the influence and not being instant), I would answer—yes, it is possible by the merit of its potential to be. However, after reviewing the explanations already established for this connection and the results created by said explanations for the topic the prompt addresses, I would say that it’s unlikely to happen.

Yeah. You read that right.

Possible, but unlikely to happen. [improbable]

Remember to consider that there are two ways in which something can be explained for fictional media. This is typically split in what is taken from the concept of Diegesis, where in this scenario, we’re talking about explanations that function internally within and by the world, and explanations that function externally outside and by other means. Both approaches can even simultaneously exist for the same topic—there being an appropriate explanation for something in both ways.

The formation of my conclusion, actually, is based on the facts, which also don’t include any strict implication that Sora was influenced by Ven, as if to even create an equilibrium between their facial features. If anything, you could argue the opposite was done, specifically in the way of making a distinction between the two by their face.

So, let’s take a step back, and go to where all of this actually started in the game’s context. The first question revolving around this topic would essentially be this:

Q1: “Why do Roxas and Sora look alike?”

*we’ll refer to this as Q1

If not automatically generated by the events of the story itself, this question was made relevant even back in the release of the Ultimania Alpha (when Roxas was just “Mysterious Boy”). Here we could see Roxas’ face and model much more clearly than that of the picture at the end of the GBA version of CoM. The Ultimania Alpha features this as his profile header (and also on the correlation chart):

“Who does he (you) look like? The key person of “II””

- KH Ultimania Alpha—Roxas’ Profile, pg.12

First, it’s good to establish that by design, the characters of Sora and Roxas do and were intended to [basically] have the same face, save for a few differences made. They also have other attributes that are considerate of each other, but we’ll highlight the face specifics. This is certainly non-debatable from an external application that they are to be correlated characters by design.

“The facial models of Roxas and Sora are basically the same, but the chin is slightly different. When I put on his hair, Roxas looked a little bit stout, so I made him thinner.”

- KH2 Ultimania—Tomohiro Kayano [3D Modeling Director], pg. 345

“Roxas: I traced Sora for this piece. My image of Roxas actually came first, before Sora, and I had already drawn him for the first project document. The concept of "between" was something I kept in mind: since Sora's outfit was to be black this time, I made Roxas' base color white, and I also added a black and white checked pattern. The cross on his chest isn't a necklace, it's part of his zipper, and it is the motif of the Nobodies. Also, his hair is supposed to be the exact same length as Sora's.”

- KH2 Ultimania, pg. 701 [via KHInsider]

“Roxas A lot of thought was put into this character. Based on the premise that he was 'an expression of the reverse, hidden inside Sora', I gave him pretty much the exact same face as Sora, just with slightly narrower eyes. And then, I made white the basis for his clothes, in contrast to KHII Sora. The black and white checkered pattern, 'neither darkness nor light', was to be a hint. My absolute favourite scene of his has to be the one at the end of the opening of KHII, when he says 'looks like my summer vacation is over'. I put a lot of feeling into creating that, as I intended it to feel, for a moment, like the end.”

- Nomura, KH Character’s Report Vol. 1 [via KHInsider]

The third one is the most interesting because it’s the only one to provide an explanation to the external application of the similarity—it being based on the connection that the characters shared and how they’re perceived against one another. Roxas being the “reverse” of Sora was utilized in more ways than the face, more so than what is understood by how that could apply to Riku’s design.

If considering the relevancy of correlating Sora and Roxas’ designs outside of representing their connection to one another (i.e. just by design alone in representing it—external), the answer can also be assumed from the game’s revelations. Meaning, after playing KH2, it would be reasonable that people would essentially believe that the answer to Q1 was answered as:

“Because Roxas is Sora’s Nobody”

Hah.

However, in the reality of the internal explanation that directly influences the characters, this didn’t quite turn out to be the answer that was presented. Not only that, but the question changed. BBS happened, and instead, we receive an answer that turns Q1 into a misleading question, and presents another in its place:

Q2: “Why do Roxas and Ventus look alike?”

No, seriously. It is the literal question posed in the BBS Ultimania:

“Why do Roxas and Ventus look alike? A: Because inside Sora, which is Roxas’ body, is Ventus’ heart.

As was shown in the opening to KH BbS and the ending to Last Episode, Sora and Ventus’ heart are linked (P.646). And so Roxas, who is a part of Sora, was affected by that and looks just like Ventus.”

- BBS Ultimania, pg. 616 [via KHInsider]

The answer here is pretty straight forward. The “why” is propositioned by two things: Sora and Ventus’ hearts being linked and Ventus’ heart residing in Sora when Roxas was created. Whether it was just one or both of these reasons is inconsequential—Roxas took his physical appearance from Ventus, NOT Sora. This is the internal explanation given on the topic of Roxas’ and Ventus’ appearance, not the external as previously given in KH2.

Since BBS, the idea of Roxas = Sora has essentially been replaced with the actuality of Roxas = Ventus multiple, if not every single, time appearance is mentioned or corresponding questions were answered.

"Ven has the same hairstyle, face, clothes, and voice of Roxas, but just who is he?”

“The face of the polygon model of Ventus that appears in this title is, strictly speaking, different to the one from KH BBS. The one in KH BBS was subtly altered from Roxas' face, but this time, in order to increase efficiency on motion work, we used the same model for Ventus and Roxas.”

“Yes, it is the same actor. Therefore the player will only look at Ven as Roxas from Kingdom Hearts 2.”

[blazed through because those quotes are too long]

* Keep in mind it’s usually about how VEN looks like Roxas, because Roxas was introduced as a character first. Internally for the story, it’s really the other way around.

And, in the mountains of paratextual material that has covered the two characters since BBS, it has opted to mention the similar notion of Roxas getting his appearance from Ven—this being mostly by the specification of the face. The idea that Roxas and Ventus share the same “physical entity” has been introduced and cemented by the explanations given by BBS.

So, instead of getting Q1 v.2:

“Okay? But uhh, still, why do Sora and Ventus [Roxas] look alike, then?”

We get this:

Q3: “Why do Sora and Vanitas look alike?”

The answer, of course, was explained in a similar fashion to Q2:

“How did you decide on the design for their faces?

Nomura: Well Terra’s look was already a decided thing, we just had to make him look a bit younger. I knew that Ventus should look either like Sora or Roxas, and I wasn’t sure which one to go with, but I thought Vanitas looking like Sora would have a bigger impact so I had Ventus look like Roxas instead. And there is a reason that Vanitas looks like Sora. As Sora filled in Ventus’ fractured heart, the fractured part (Vanitas) was effected by Sora and ended up with Sora’s face. So if it had been Riku who had filled in Ventus’ heart, Vanitas would have looked like Riku.”

- BBS Ultimania, pg. 646 [via KHInsider]

Similar to the above, instead of Vanitas, who comes from Ventus, looking as such of his existential bond, instead it emphasizes that of Sora = Vanitas by the physical attributes. Interestingly enough, in the same quote is the proposition of whether Ventus would look like either Sora or Roxas in development, lending more to the idea of this separation of their appearance. Similarly, this is mentioned consistently in how Vanitas looks like Sora. This extends even beyond the Ultimania books, as even the KH3 Character Files book emphasizes that Vanitas has “Sora’s face” and resemblance. [pg.86]

If you read my posts in the original chain, you’d understand that what I’m pointing out is that, instead of establishing an equilibrium between the four characters, it instead creates the separation of two different physical entities:

Sora [Vanitas] and Ventus [Roxas].

This would be different than what was cleanly set between Kairi, Namine, and Xion—this being accompanied by external and internal reasons that not only captured the connections between the characters, but also have literal, internal reasons applied that are part of the narrative.

“How did you go about designing Xion's outward appearance?

Nomura: It was decided from the start that she would have a deep connection to Kairi, so she was based on Kairi with her hair changed a little. We were actually thinking of changing nothing but the colour of her hair, but when designs were drawn up her hairstyle was made quite a bit different too. Even the 3D polygon model's face is the same as Kairi's, apart from the hair. So, if you look at the 3D models of Xion, Namine and Kairi, they have the same face and differ only in their hair, but unexpectedly have individual personalities.”

- Days Ultimania, pg. 485 [via KHInsider]

Actually, the quote itself is similar to the comment made by Tomohiro Kayano above about Sora and Roxas’ 3D facial models being “basically the same”, except the girls are without difference of detail to the face, with the note of being the same while the hair is specifically what differs. This turns out to be an interesting detail because, there’s never an attempt to create a distinction between the three characters outside of what has been spoken for—their hair. And, they have the internal explanation to boot for what makes it literal in and of itself.

This is different than that of the Sora [Vanitas] and Ventus [Roxas] entities, where for internal functionality, there is then a difference by the face in those two and what it means for the characters in the story. As far as I’m concerned, there isn’t even an attempt to establish that they all have “the same face, but different hair.”

Where’s the equilibrium?

The further we go into the explanations that take a different road than that of what Q1 proposes, the question itself starts to become irrelevant—the mystery of the question’s origin (that between Roxas and Sora) was instead supplied by other lore reasoning in the world. All the while, setting a distinction between the two physical entities by “the face” as opposed to just answering the original question.

At least, in an internal way.

Really, Q1 is already answered—this answer being more external, that Roxas has “pretty much the exact same face” as Sora as a way to represent their connection to one another, with the “pretty much” representing the differences that can be accounted for.

However, when it comes to an in-world, internal explanation, instead of providing a lore-based reasoning to express in the narrative, which would’ve been thought to be the same reasoning (because he’s Sora’s Nobody) as the external reasoning, instead we have an answer that makes the Q1, now, seem misleading.

To be fair, it doesn’t necessarily eliminate the Q1, just makes it seem less likely to be answered or if even to be something to be asked anymore. That’s because, in all the ways we understand what resulted from the connection made between Sora and Ventus, we haven’t exactly been given an explicit negative to the possibility of the original premise:

Premise: “Do you believe it’s possible for it to be explained that Ventus influenced Sora’s physical appearance when their hearts connected?”

or, to reintroduce it in a familiar angle:

Q1 v.2: “Why do Sora and Ventus [Roxas] look alike?”

It’s not explicitly negated, but in all the information I could find, this following quote is the closest to answering either question.

– So it’s not “Once Sora’s story is finished, another hero’s story will begin”, the hero is always Sora.

Nomura: Yes. One of the concepts behind the KH series is that the main character Sora isn’t special, he’s just a normal boy. Yes he does have connections with Ventus’ heart, among others, but he hasn’t inherited anything from them. He’s just a normal boy you could find anywhere. I wanted to make Sora a character that the player could take onto themselves and feel that you don’t have to be special. But connect to many people and you will realize your secret potential. With BbS I want to make fans excited to see Sora’s return. The secret event is a symbol of that, so I hope everyone will get to see it and wait for Sora’s next adventure.

- BBS Ultimania, pg. 650 [Via KHInsider]

Unlike the other quotes supplied for the topic of Sora and Ventus’ connection, this quote was on the conversation of Sora’s adventures post-KH3. However, the comment itself is still in retrospect of the internal attributes of Sora’s character, even specifically mentioning his connection to Ventus’ heart, putting it in perspective of that particular circumstance that happens in the game.

So, what do we have now?

That comment doesn’t completely negate the premise, technically, but it also doesn’t support it either. In tandem with everything else in what HAS been done with the connection between Sora and Ventus....

It doesn’t look likely.

There’s also the mention of Aqua pointing out how Sora is:

ENG: “the spitting image of Ven”

JPN: “ヴェンそのもの [Ven himself]”

Even though there isn’t anything conclusive to whether she, just like with Riku, was talking more about Sora and Ven’s disposition than their physical face, the BBS Ultimania does go with the former.

“Guided by a warm light, Aqua meets two boys on the island. Their atmosphere [presence] was similar to that of Terra and Ventus.”

- BBS Ultimania, pg.384

As it is, the fact remains that there hasn’t been any attempt in equalizing the appearance between Sora and Ventus outside of what could already be understood externally through Sora and Roxas.

The understanding of it being unlikely to be addressed or to be a truth doesn’t rely on “it wasn’t talked about”. Because, IT WAS talked about—the topic surrounding this HAS been approached, it HAS been explained, and the premise at hand isn’t anything offered as actuality.

So, why should I assume then that the information we’ve received for years, that has been explained and told in so many ways, is incomplete?

It could change, sure, but it’s not incomplete as it is. As to this day, we can safely say that the literal equalization of similarity isn’t between Sora and Ventus, because it, as of right now, literally isn’t in accordance to the observable facts. It hasn’t happened, even if to predict it to happen. And if to weigh the possibility of this change occurring, after all the facts presented above and how the subject has been breached, that yes—it’s an unlikely change.

Not impossible, but improbable.

And that is VERY reasonable to say after 10+ years and an immense amount of supplemental paratext produced to say something about it.

This being by not what information is lacking, but by what has been provided. And even then, the frequency and different angles in which the information has been touched upon makes it hit much harder.

If in the attempt to play devil’s advocate on myself, I would proposition that the proposed premise would be setup by the concept behind the story of BBS:

"There is no coincidence in fate"

In which, along with the questions of “why Riku was chosen to wield the keyblade, or why Kairi met Sora and Riku”, the original question (Why do Sora and Roxas look alike?) could’ve been a part of that, and thus, explained similar to that of the Kairi, Namine, and Xion situation—that Sora AND Roxas were influenced by Ventus (and, logically, Vanitas would’ve been as well), and that being why they look alike.

But nope.

Instead, we got it all the other way around where Sora is the character influencing the other characters, and being connected to all three through that direction, not backwards. Creating, really, the impression that the visual similarity between Sora and Ventus IS fate, but through this, it is part of that scheme in which two people who just so happen to be similar are connected to one another.

Their resemblance and their connection is by the design of fate and the way it was meant to be—not necessarily due to a direct phenomenon, but that two people who have that similarity were fated to have the connection they have.

It certainly has been done in storytelling before, so it isn’t a crazy concept anyway.

Don’t know for certain, but from the information available, that actually seems more likely.

Sora has not been affected by Ventus, and the fact that this information isn’t presented as incomplete, this idea becomes less plausible to even be implemented, if not, irrelevant. This would be the same to Q1 as it is, where it was diverted by other information and questions.

All the while, in recognizing the distinction given between the two physical entities of Sora[Vanitas] and Ventus[Roxas], I much more prefer how they’ve handled it so far, where that bridge between Sora and Ventus isn’t closed by that type of phenomenon, but instead, through the efforts of capturing the connection that the characters have. This is directly through the acknowledgement of how the story has implemented understanding of the distinction between the two, particular the face, NOT just the hair. This is also in accordance to story things, in that in the connection between Sora and Ventus, this is primarily a one-sided affair in how Sora influences Ven, NOT the other way around, and I’m fine with that in how it is represented in the story.

This is especially for the sake of Sora and Roxas’ characters is very concerned with his identity in relation to his existential ties towards Sora, and Sora is the normal boy who has “secret potential” by his ability to connect with other people. I’ve of zero interest of Sora’s character being tainted with that type of effect, especially now and in everything that hasn’t [would’ve] acted in accordance to it.

Sigh.

Anyway, that’s just what it is. Don’t send me any more asks expecting me to post this, because I honestly don’t have anything else to say about it that would be that much different. My points would largely be the same. If you have concerns though (like some quotes I got myself since KHInsider didn’t have them), just message me, and I’ll send some screen shots and whatnot.

Anyway, overall, it still remains an interesting thing to thing about alongside the concepts that are implemented in KH. That, I can agree on.

#kingdom hearts #sora #roxas #ventus #vanitas #but seriously #knock it off

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aharris00britney · 5 years ago

Photo

ASKS 16

haha remember in July when I said I was gonna answer stuff every month... yeah me neither 🙈🙈 anyways lots of stuff under the cut

Anonymous said: You should get along with other Simblrs and start a new cc group now that PTS is disbanded, your hairs and clothes are always amazing! :D

Firstly thank you! Most of the clothing in AxA is 99% ayoshi with me going in after and cleaning/adding some stuff. So I give him props for the clothes :P As far as a ‘new PTS’ style group idk, there are a lot of amazing creators on simblr but I think the reason PTS was such a special thing is because the bond they all had. I feel that when working on collabs with some of my really close friends (such as the one coming out this month with @dogsill and @ayoshi) because we have known each other for over 2 years now. A group of friends built only for collabing purposes would be more of a hassle than an enjoyment imo. <3

Anonymous said: HELLLOOOO! just curious bc why not but what is your favorite creation that you have made??

It varies every month to be honest lmao. If you asked me to pick a favorite hair from each month? Easy, always the last release of the month. But favorite hair ever? Awwww shucks 🤠 lmao I would say my Madison Hair is one of my favorite hair releases, I am planning to revamp it soon to work with my Mia ombre accessories and tidy the mesh up some.

Anonymous said: hello, when will this collection be free for public download please? /post/186706149526/patreon-08-19

That came out in August luv, go to my downloads page and click AxA 2019

Anonymous said: Hi! Idk if you do wcif!!!! But if you do, wcif the freckles on the girl with the short hair on the BOP AHOOB collab?? If you know! Thank you much in advance!!!!!

Hey! You’ll need to send Bowl-Of-Plumbobs a message for that WCIF, that was his Sim otherwise I would link you. Sorry hun

@lumalinrose-sims said: Not a question, but you are like so cool I can't even--

thank you lmao I appreciate it, your profile pic it pretty cool :P

@ang3lba3 said: sarah is so pretty!!! is there a way to download how she looks in its entirety, or no? (sorry if this is a silly question im pretty new to the sims)

not silly don’t worry :P the Sarah hair is for download on the post, the sim can be downloaded here but she is a bit outdated as I have changed her somewhat since then.

Anonymous said: Hihi just stopping by to tell you how much I love your hairs!!

thank you so much! I appreciate the love<3

Anonymous said: hi! i just wanted to say that i love your cc so much i and always look forward to your posts! you make the cutest cc ever and honestly you're probably my favorite cc maker. you also seem like such a chill and genuine person we truly stan.

fgvhbjn thank you lmao I am literally TOO CHILL irl lmao I let people run over me so much but it’s whatever. Thank you again for the super sweet message. Have a great day if you’re reading this :)

Anonymous said: Heeeey we have the same name

Austin club :P great name til you’re trying to sign something and it looks awful (at least for me I can’t do my signature for shit)

Anonymous said: the collab with bop is so boring and dull it’s drier than a cracker it’s a no from me

well not everything is going to be someones cup of tea lmao I’m sure there is someone that enjoys it which counters you’re negative view <3

Anonymous said: Hi I love your cc! I have almost all of it in my game and I love your tropical punch palette so much I was wondering if you would ever consider releasing the palette.

If I ever make an ombre accessory tutorial video I will release a set of actions for the palette. If you wanna use the palette feel free to grab the hex codes from S4S.

Anonymous said: How did you become a ea game changer? Was it through Tumblr or youtube?

About a year ago SimGuruKate was the community manager and had applications for Tumblr Game Changers, I applied and got accepted. Follow SimGuruFrost on Twitter to stay up to date on when new applications are open.

Anonymous said: Are you going to upload the hair you made on your livestream? I literally love your work and am a Patreon subscriber!!!

Hey! The hair will be in my October voting (I think) and if it wins, release will be November. If it doesn’t win I will put it in November voting and so forth til it wins. Also thank you for watching the stream and supporting me on Patreon

Anonymous said: hello!! i just wanted to see if knew is there’s anyway i can save my cc and save files somehow where i can download them again if my computer breaks so i don’t have to download it all again.?

zip your Sims 4 folder and upload it to Google Drive/SimsFileShare/OneDrive. Then when you install Sims 4 again you just replace the folder made in Electronic Arts in your Documents.

Anonymous said: what face do you make when your in love with a bee?

this is an old anon so I doubt they’re gonna check for this, and I can’t find the joke on Google so.... anybody know it?

Anonymous said: i love these collab sets they are honestly gifts from above

mhmm gifts from above for every collab except those in October... those are from below 👹 😳

Anonymous said: the pack is sooooo cute i love everything omg!!!! The male stuff is so adorable i can’t wait to download

Anonymous said: you guys are the only ones i go to for packs i would love to see build buy items in the future we don’t get a lot mm stuff like that

Anonymous said:i just want to say thank you for putting in so much time and hard work and dedication to creating cc for us. i hope there's never a moment when you feel unappreciated, and i want you to know we all love you!

@primadonnaliferiseandfall said: all hail you and ayoshi for the cc pack its so pretty omg!!!!

Anonymous said: omg the kings have delivered!!

Anonymous said: since we got axa 2019 and 2018 will there be an axa 2020? 👀

Anonymous said: Great job on the pack! Everyone's items look gorgeous! Thank you for making this, you talented human being.

Anonymous said: ilysm! that’s all 💓💫

Anonymous said: just wanted to let you know that your content is absolutely amazing and i love it all :) sending love from the uk👍

Anonymous said: would you and ayoshi consider sharing the psds for some of the stuff in your collab? please?

thank you guys so much! Me and Ayoshi were super super happy with the AxA 2019 release and we are so happy with how many people have liked it. AxA 2020 will be a thing, yes. Also I have been working on PSDs that are super easy to navigate. I will get those up soon hopefully.

@graphicpickles said: Hey um, I dont know if you were aware of this but your discord link is broken ^^"

hey! this is super late sorry, discord link should be working now. If not: https://discord.gg/CtQR9tb

Anonymous said: Why would you include a cc hair in a preview for a cas review

because I liked the hair and wanted to use it 😗

@goddesssimmerina said: I just stopped by to tell you how much I LOVE your content. *_* I just went through and downloaded soooo much! xD I actually just switched to using MM hair and i'm so glad I did because I'm finding so many of you amazing creators and I thank you all sm! :*

awe thank you!! I appreciate it. Welcome to MM hair world :P

@moonbrightsims said: whats ur origin id?

AHarris00Britney

Anonymous said: how are your photos/screenshots so high quality? seriously, do you use a mod for it or idk editing? or maybe your settings?

Ultra Settings, and I use SRWE for HQ pics.

Anonymous said: if you don’t answer this ask you’re straight

It has been answered. I am no longer straight. Was a hard two months not answering this 😔😔😔

Anonymous said: Hi, would you mind teaching us how you make the LoDs of your hairs? I opened one of them in S4S and found out your LoDs are great looking. I use decimate tool in blender and they look really bad.

I edge split everything before I decimate in Blender, I also delete the hairline and extrude the mesh inside the head before decimating as well. Really confusing to explain in words sorry. Might make a tutorial.

Anonymous said: omg ur cc finds blog has apink namjoo as icon and header. i'm.. sCREAMING. austin knows royalty

yes ma’am now where is the comeback

- it was at this point I realized I have caught up with my last asks post and have answered 4 things over again from Asks 15. Well... I guess that’s it folks

see yall in asks 17 in 2 months.... maybe the end of October idk

#asks #nonsims #saviorhide #i dont even know why i decided to answer stuff tonight it is 1:32AM now and i started an hour ago #let me go be productive and do something like lay in bed playing Animal Crossing Pocket Camp for 2 hours til I pass out #actually let me post a teaser idgaf its 2am but when else am i gonna post it

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prettywordsyouleft · 6 years ago

Text

Different Kisses with Jung Jaehyun

Thank you so much for your patience for this request! Jaehyun is one of my NCT biases (sigh why do I love so many of them) so I had a lot of fun writing this. Admittedly, there are so many views on who Jaehyun is as a person and I tend to sit in the middle with that, so I hope you enjoy this mixture of spicy and sweet!

Kissing Jaehyun is addictive, one isn’t enough, and you know you’ll want to kiss him for the rest of your life.

First kiss:

You’d already had your first kiss with Jaehyun before your actual first kiss. He was someone you met when he lived in America and you had helped him when his English wasn’t very sufficient. When he went back to Korea, Jaehyun lost contact with you, so it was uncanny how he recognised you as an adult now, working as a staff member during his first SMTOWN concert. He had thought he was imagining you but after his eyes swept over the lanyard with your staff ID card around your neck that clearly displayed your name, he was stunned. What were the odds of his American crush now working for his company? He didn’t want to admit it but he believed it was fate. After all, it was you who had kissed his knee better when he fell over as a kid and when you looked up at him smiling happily, his lips had moved faster than his mind did in placing a peck on your lips. He wondered if you even classed that as your first kiss as he did.

When he was waiting backstage and you walked by, he called your name, surprising more than just you but his members beside him too. He ignored the questions from Johnny, getting up and walking over to you, gauging your stunned expression before hugging you tightly. And despite the jeering behind you both, his smile broke out on his face when he felt your arms gingerly slip up to hug him back, thanking you for accepting his embrace despite the situation.

Of course, after the show, he had found you again and you both got lost in catching up on the time you had missed. He listened to every word you said intently whilst soaking you in and wondering how you had gotten even prettier than you once were.

And over the next few weeks whenever he crossed paths with you at work he would get caught up and forget what he was doing, too busy trying to spend all his time in your company until he could feel his phone vibrating in his pocket with his manager berating him down the line about being late. It hadn’t occurred to him how much he could be getting you in trouble too for holding up your own schedule until one too many close calls and so he tried to stop interfering so much, merely waving and smiling at you warmly, itching to ask you fifty questions but continuing on with where he was needed to go.

The sudden change in his approach had you confused and you worried you had said something wrong. After yet another easy dismissal that hurt a little too much, you went to find him after work, finding him in a vocal practice room alone. You knocked on the door and he opened it, albeit a little surprised by your appearance. Not wasting any more time as you could feel yourself falling deeper into his warm gaze, your anger dispersing the longer you stood there, you asked him why he was suddenly avoiding you, which surprised Jaehyun completely.

“I was trying to keep you out of trouble.”

“What trouble? The only trouble I’m facing is having too many questions and no answers from you. Have I done something wrong?”

Jaehyun eyed you carefully and then smiled, shifting closer to you and cupped your cheek. “I like you too much for there to be anything wrong.”

And then his full lips were on yours, kissing you slowly as if he were to rush it would ruin the moment as his mind imprinted the taste and feel of your own lips into his thoughts. The kiss didn’t last too long but when you pulled back you were breathless, staring up at the man who was once a boy that hastily had kissed you. You grinned, his technique had definitely improved.

Public kisses:

For someone as affectionate as Jaehyun, he has some immense self-control when out in public as his PDA is very limited. It’s not that he doesn’t want to shamelessly throw himself over you and kiss you in every setting but out in public, he doesn’t want to draw any further attention to you as a couple. He’ll feel comfortable with holding your hand or slinging an arm over your shoulder in crowded areas. Where there are fewer people about, he might kiss the side of your head quickly and grin at you.

However, around his members, he has no shame. He will pull you into his lap and hug you tightly, kissing your neck and whine about missing you whilst he was busy. And you’ve gotten used to the gagging sounds Johnny and Ten make or Haechan’s exclamations, turning around to kiss Jaehyun’s nose lightly and enjoying all the attention regardless of who is watching.

Private kisses:

There is a lot of laughter involved in your relationship with Jaehyun, so naturally, there is always a playful and light air surrounding you both but this becomes more apparent when you’re at home together. He’s just so infectiously happy, singing and bouncing around you as you do tasks together. He loves to cook with you and he’s very affectionate in the kitchen, dancing you around in between preparing the food, peppering you in kisses like little encouragements as you complete cooking a meal you were unconfident in. Because it’s light in mood, it just seems effortless to move around doing things and then come back into each other’s arms, both clingy and needy for each other’s attention.

Jaehyun loves to cuddle and will complain if you end one before he’s ready for it to, pouting and whining at you until you kiss him better. In fact, he has a habit of asking you to kiss everything better. You fell asleep on him in a movie? Kiss it better. Let the water run cold because you took too long to shower, he’s going to demand you kiss it better. And even when there’s nothing obvious needing to be kissed better, he’ll tease you and come up with far-fetched excuses in hopes for you to kiss him under this pretence.

He will spontaneously attack you in kisses as well, in between each one telling you how much he loves you. Sometimes he’ll also rush and kiss you after you’ve caught him staring at you with that love-struck look he has about him, his lips crashing onto yours desperately, holding your face within both his palms as he does so.

Making out: (NSFW, wow never thought I’d say that about Jaehyun but here we are)

Jaehyun is such a tease. You have frequent making out sessions because despite all that self-control out in public if you leave him alone with you for too long, his mind and hands will start wandering. His lips join in as soon as he’s got your full attention from his touches, groaning a little at how easily he gets worked up over you. This sound alone makes you gasp for air and he’s now smirking into you as he kisses along your collarbone and neck, sucking at your skin before devilishly nipping at you, his hands now grasping your butt and squeezing at you gently. He knows exactly how to have you writhing against him, your hands going to his hair or broad shoulders and gripping on as your legs go weak. And by now he’s already leaving love bites all over you, giving you further reason to feel weak and become clouded over with passion.

Jaehyun is pretty vocal and loves hearing you moan out his name, talking dirty to you or telling you just how wound up he’s been all day and how badly he needs you to help him relax. Making out is so frequent that you both no longer satisfied with just doing so, always craving more and more from each other. At first, doing it into different places placated this craving but now it generally ends up being taken into further pleasure and sometimes it gets a little risky too. There are quite a lot of times where someone has caught you both with Jaehyun’s hands under your skirt and his shirt undone, and these moments are so frustrating, the need for each other driving you crazy to find someplace private as soon as you can.

Of course, I have sub-headers today for you.

Studio kisses: Unlike the usual studio kisses I do which involves dancing (don’t worry, you’ve watched him dance and taken a very sweaty man in your arms up against the mirrors before ho ho ho), this is more focused in the little vocal studio rooms where he can perfect every sound of you’re both making in harmony. Making out here starts out quietly; you straddled over his lap in between the piano in front of him, his hands loosely hitting the keys as your tongue swirls with his. Of course the noise increases, from both of you and the piano being hit with his now impatient hands, a loud twang of chords happening when it’s all too much and he needs to focus on you, and you only.

Bath kisses: After a long day there’s nothing better than sharing a bath that smells heavenly with Jaehyun. Initially, you just focus on telling each other about your day, your stresses or anything that crosses your mind. With you nestled up against him, your head thrown lightly over his shoulder, it doesn’t take Jaehyun long to slowly kiss along your bare your neck and upper chest, moaning slightly at how sensual this is for him. It’s a different kind of making out, it’s slow and deliberate but it can have you shuddering in pleasure just as fast. “I thought we were meant to be relaxing right now,” you’ll gasp at him and he’ll chuckle, knowing he’ll have you at a heightened state before you get to relax.

Morning kisses:

Jaehyun wakes up earlier than you and for some time he is happy just holding you to him as he spoons you, listening to your even breathing and smiling down at your form so peaceful within his embrace. He often spends these moments thinking over how lucky he is to wake up beside you that he cannot help but press his lips into your shoulder, your body shifting slightly but still not rousing. It makes him chuckle before attacking you in kisses, pressing his lips anywhere and everywhere before your eyes finally open, looking a little disgruntled at him. “I was having a nice dream.” – “You are my dream, so come join me,” he’ll bite back with and you can’t help but smile and poke his dimple, Jaehyun dropping his head down to yours and kissing your nose. It’s playful from here until you get up to make breakfast together, you kissing his dimples and purposely avoiding his mouth and him demanding you kiss him properly, both erupting in light laughter when he starts attacking you with kisses again. Even if you didn’t initially want to wake up, you certainly don’t want to go back to sleep and miss out on all of this now.

Making up:

Jaehyun hates fighting with you because he cannot stand seeing you sad at all. Sure you have really healthy bickering banter that grates your nerves and you bite back every time, but otherwise, he never allows anything to get into a big fight, so there’s no need to make up when you don’t get to the point to need to.

Food kisses:

This man is such a foodie, oh my goodness. He eats so much every day, that you have no idea where it all goes (I’m jealous, Jae)! And he loves nothing more than eating with you, making sure you’re not skipping any meals or worrying about any diets because you’re beautiful how you are in his eyes. He definitely feeds you and becomes a giddy mess when doing so, his need to baby you only ever coming out when food is around. It’s balanced though because you’ll feed him back and he’s just so darn happy. Of course, there are a lot of kisses, thanking you for cooking with him or making the meal yourself; appreciating how well you ate the packed lunch he made for you etc. These kisses simply taste different because you literally just ate but also because he’s just so content in these moments. There’s nothing more satisfied than a man well fed! Of course, there’s the teasing element over desserts and tasting chocolate cheekily from within your mouth but I think you get my drift without me going any further into this! I’m still trying to recover from the making out section, send holy water.

Lazy kisses:

If you can spare the time to laze about in each other’s arms, you’ll gladly do so. Unlike other idols that I write this kiss for, it’s not as endearing, soft or quiet. Sure you’re not doing anything much as you laze about but you’re definitely talking and quite engaged with each other. He loves when you lay in his lap so he can run his hand over your stomach and make you giggle, kissing you with a smile mixed in. And you play with his spare hand, kissing it softly, nuzzling into it or just holding onto it as you look up into his warm gaze, talking animatedly about what you had done the day beforehand. Despite not being quiet and calm, it’s definitely a healing experience from your jobs and their demands on you both, and you love these moments the most because they’re so unrestrained, anything goes conversation wise, with all those little kisses thrown in between.

Shut up kisses:

Jaehyun is a mixture of quiet and loud. Even when he’s playful he can be quiet about it but when he’s loud, well he’s really loud. Sometimes you just want to walk away from him but you’ve learned when you do he just follows you along, not picking up on the fact that he’s being really annoying. He’s also naturally very teasing and full of cheesy pickup lines that no matter how many times you tell him he doesn’t need to deliver them since you’re dating, it’s an incessant need for him to share them regardless. And whilst you don’t ever want to admit some of them are a true test of your willpower not to snort at, you do get sick of hearing him when he’s constant. You found over the months of dating that a quick-fire way to silence him is with using your lips, firmly pressing into him as if the weight will make him sober enough to quit his chatter. And it does work, he’ll slump a little when you pull away and shoot you a sly grin, maybe even coming back in for seconds. Other times he’s back to teasing you about your lack of self-control. If only he realised just how hard you work to maintain yourself, sigh.

Worried kisses:

Despite how sure he is of his feelings for you, Jaehyun is easily worried that he’s not enough for you. Whether it’s because he’s jealous of seeing you converse naturally with other men or because he can’t always be with you due to his career, Jaehyun is worried he’s not doing enough by you. It’s not like he doesn’t try, he leaves you little notes to find when he knows he’ll be gone for a week or so and constantly rings and messages you when he’s away to check in on you. Sometimes though he wakes up in the middle of the night in some foreign environment with sheer panic that you might not be eating well or you could get sick now that the weather has gotten cooler. It’s foolish, he knows whenever he falls into these little periods of being concerned, you are quick to reassure him that you’re fine and there’s nothing to worry about at all.

The great thing about your relationship is whenever he does feel this way, he isn’t afraid of your judgement; of thinking he’s less manly for worrying. He tells you everything that crosses his mind because he couldn’t imagine not sharing every thought he has about you. And generally, when he’s worried he’s not good enough for you because he can’t offer you the normal type of relationships people your age are having, he’ll be full of love confessions, telling you exactly how much he can’t live without you.

You’re in tears by this point and he’s upset for making you cry but you laugh lightly, telling him they’re happy tears because you couldn’t imagine loving anyone as much as you do him. Your lips find his then, your tears making it taste a little salty but otherwise ever so sweet as you feel your hearts intertwining with each other that little bit more, calming down his worries and reminding him that you are the only one he needs, and for you, having his heart as your own is the biggest treasure you own.

Dating Jaehyun is really a good mix of playful fun that makes communication and love that much easier, along with a fiery passion that you don’t think will ever stop burning you both with the need for one another. It fuels you on to think to the future, of creating further memories together right up until you’re old and grey and telling your love story to all those willing to listen.

_______________

Other NCT members: Taeil // Johnny // Jaehyun // Lucas

[Different Kisses Masterlist] | [Main Masterlist] | [Request Guidelines]

#jung jaehyun #nct #jaehyun #nct imagines #nct scenarios #jung jaehyun imagines #jung jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun scenarios #nct 127 #nct u #boyfriend! jung jaehyun #boyfriend! jaehyun #pwyl; different kisses #prettywordsyouleft requested

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tessatechaitea · 5 years ago

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Teen Titans Spotlight #11: The Brotherhood of Evil

Judging by the last few issues starring Robotman, Beast Boy, Mento, and the Brotherhood of Evil, this series could have been Doom Patrol Spotlight On:.

Warp might be the most intelligent super villain in the DC Universe!

Actually I'm not quite done not talking about The Brotherhood of Evil! I don't mean to suggest that the people who fled one kind of oppression weren't the best and kindest people in the world! The only reason I said all the awesome people wound up in California is because I'm from California and my family is pretty awesome. Don't worry! I can see all of the erasure in the above statement! It's just sometimes, you're speaking about a thing and you can't get bogged down by small details like Native American genocide or blatant anti-Chinese laws enacted in San Francisco (pretty much the coolest place in the U.S. (at least before the tech boom fucking turned it into a capitalist fascist run by tech start-ups and the angels who finance them)). The main point was that some people become comfortable with a status quo that oppresses others. And instead of fighting it, people flee from it. The people who flee often do so because they have their own status quo they want to enact and it's rarely one that provides opportunity for everybody. At least in the modern view, I tend to think (and hope it's more than hope and fantasy and wishful thinking) that those fleeing small town bigotries into big cities are actually more compassionate toward the entirety of humanity. We still make lots of mistakes but the key point is that we're trying to do better. When people discuss locking up immigrants at the border, you can either fight against the injustice and racism inherent in the entire process or simply shrug your shoulders like a douchebag and try to sound super smart by saying, "Well, they should have thought about that before they came here!" As if everybody in the world has access to media that somehow preempts the two hundred years of American propaganda that we're willing to accept the hungry and the tired and those yearning to breathe free. I grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area in the 70s and the reality of the world that existed around me at the time was fucking Star Trek: The Next Generation compared to what's going on in 2019. We had station ID breaks on KTVU Channel 2 out of San Francisco that would show a kid running around and playing and introducing the viewer into their world that would end with the kid saying, "I'm proud to be a Chinese American!", or "I'm proud to be a black American!" It's the kind of thing that would get so many people in a huff now and yet it was a simple and effective means to introduce younger viewers to the heterogeneity of their community. And now, in 2019, we have Comicsgate who can't stand to be reminded that people other than white people can be protagonists. It boggles my mind that people can get so upset over shit that won't make a millimeter wave on the cultural yacht they were born on. Fucking grow up, assholes. Not everything is about you. I think I was going to say more things about erasure! I don't mean to make light of it since it's absolutely a strategy used to disenfranchise groups or exclude them from social movements. But it's your go-to argument against everything you read, you're not going to make many friends. Lots of essays or articles or arguments need to be specific and they can't include every situation or group in the specific argument being made. Maybe it's tough to accept laser focused arguments on the Internet when the audience is harder to gauge. I know peanut allergies exist and they're deadly but I still stick the knife I just used for peanut butter in the preserves. Not because I don't give a fuck but because I know the audience using my apricot preserves. But if I were to mention this on the Internet, everybody who knows nothing about the context of my preserves and my audience and my entire existence would jump all over me saying things like, "That's really irresponsible!" and "You're going to kill somebody!" and "Apricot? You fucking monster!" I usually hate analogies but sometimes they're fun. The general problem with analogies is that people don't use them to help clarify arguments; they use them to try to simplify their argument into something nobody can disagree with. But by that time, the relationship between the actual argument and the analogy is tenuous at best! But I think my peanut butter allergy analogy is pretty rock solid! Hey! You know who's diverse?! The Brotherhood of Evil! They have a French gorilla and a British woman and a bald white guy (also French but what can you do? This team was all up in France and shit) and a brain in a jar. Hopefully Brain was African or Chinese or Pakistani. Maybe he was also autistic. He's enough of a cypher to allow any reader to identify with him, I guess. He's definitely gay! Unless he's into bestiality. One of those reasons is why he winds up fucking the French gorilla. Hmm, maybe not making it clear what Brain's intent was was a mistake by DC because doesn't that just amplify anti-gay sentiment by associating it actual deviant behaviors? If DC did make it clear and I'm the one who's obfuscating the matter, I should probably shut up. The Brain and Mallah are definitely gay for each other's human dicks. The fact that Mallah's dick is gorilla and Brain's dick is non-existent shouldn't hamper their love. The Brotherhood of Evil are being set up by some guy named Toulon. There was a lot of narration boxes that explained it but I was too busy thinking, "How is Brain going to suck Mallah's cock?" So all I know is that Toulon managed to fuck up Warp's powers and he teleported the Brotherhood to a strange world.

Hmm, looks like Earth-11 to me!

I know this takes place after Crisis on Infinite Earths and Earth-11 shouldn't exist but it does! Maybe this story takes place before Crisis? Maybe when the story reveals they're on Earth-11, the editor will provide a note, "*This story takes place before Crisis on Infinite Earths! -- Know-it-all Knobby!" Mallah introduces himself to Tin, the leader of the good guys, I guess?, by saying, "We're the Brotherhood!" I suppose I'd shorten the name of my organization when I met new people too if it were called The Brotherhood of Evil. Unless the new guy I was introducing myself to was like Kim Jong-un or Donald Trump or Mark Zuckerberg. I'm so tuned in to world events that I first typed "Mark Zupperberg" and couldn't figure out why it looked wrong.

Welcome to my new preschool, Tiny Tots Fucktown.

You might want to be upset with me for sexualizing young children but I'm not the fucking monster who made that advertisement. Ad Exec #1: "What if we show a guy building the model with a bunch of hot women getting wet over how well he's done it?" Ad Exec #2 Who is in Prison Now: "What if they were little kids?!" Was Earth-11 the one where DC put Tin Tin after they bought the rights? I mean, I don't know if they ever bought the rights but this guy is definitely Tintin, right?

He also rides a big white dog that he has yet to call Snowy but it's only a matter of panels.

Trapped on a world about to be destroyed (in a worse way than Tintin and his cohorts know! Crisis is coming! Or came? No, no! I sometimes forget comic books can tell tales from the past! Although weren't writers supposed to completely ignore the Pre-Crisis universe once Crisis on Infinite Earths completed? Or why even fucking bother?!), The Brotherhood of Evil decide to help Tintin and his rebels take back control from some guy called Minos. But they're only doing it for their own selfish ends. You might remember how their name has "evil" tacked onto the end.

You might have thought "cutting them down like grass" was the correct phrase and "mowing them down like paper mache" is stupid but this is Earth-11, dumb dumb.

Paper mache is how you spelled "papier-mâché" before you had the Internet. There might some other difference in this comic book due to the place in time it was written:

Fuck. Now I'm horny.

The Brotherhood help Tintin and his friends steal a space ark from their enemies so that Tintin and his friends can survive the destruction of Earth-11. Never mind what happens to the people of Earth who weren't offered the opportunity to become one of Tintin's group. In payment for their help, The Brotherhood of Evil are helped back to their own Earth where they can continue to be weird and impotent. The conclusion of the story has something to do with Doctor Mist and the Global Guardians helping make the universe a better place by saving Tintin (somehow! I mean, Crisis, right?! What the fuck?), getting some guy named Toulon killed (he's only "some guy" to me because sometimes these espionage plots are just too convoluted with too many normal characters I don't care about), and getting the Brotherhood of Evil killed. They fail in getting the Brotherhood killed but seem content with their other machinations. Plus, I'm sure Doctor Mist was happy to get a small role in this comic book to pay for his bowel cancer treatments. Teen Titans Spotlight #11: The Brotherhood of Evil Rating: B-. You know I don't put any thought into the grades I give these comic books, right? You know this isn't really a review site and just a way for me to enjoy my time reading comic books while journaling, right? You know my nemesis is still the Weird Science comics blog, right? What a bunch of squares!

#Doom Patrol #The Brotherhood of Evil #Teen Titans #Teen Titans Spotlight #DC #DC Comics

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douchebagbrainwaves · 5 years ago

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OK, I'LL TELL YOU YOU ABOUT COLLEGES

There's no concept of office hours in most startups. There's a lot of different cafes, but there are signs it might be helpful to be in New York or LA. He said We'd hire 30 tomorrow morning. Colleges differ, but they're nothing like the stamp of destiny so many imagine them to be exceptional. So you shouldn't do it if you're not ready for commitments on that scale, it costs nothing to fix. Life in a zoo is easier, but it won't be if things change as much in the next 50 years as they did in the last few decades US universities seem to have such a bad time. I used to write papers for my friends. Another from that batch was Loopt, which is one of those things that seem obvious in retrospect. It was quite interesting to write a paper for a class I wasn't taking. This is what real productivity looks like. Back when he was a kid in the seventies, a doctor was the thing to be. 82347786 This time the evidence is a mix of stuff from the headers and from the message body, which is typical of spam is that every one of these can destroy you overnight.

But because the buildings were built at different times by different people, the stronger evidence they probably are of what you should do is start one. Intriguingly, this implication isn't limited to books. When I was a kid trying to break into computers, what worried him most was the idea of going on the medical equivalent of what lawyers call a fishing expedition, where you sit passively and watch as a plot happens. It seemed curious that the same task could be painful to one person and pleasant to another, but I have never had to talk. Anything deleted as spam goes into the nonspam corpus. Thanks to Sam Altman, however, is an outlying data point. They need to work at something that pays the bills. Next I create a third hash table, this time mapping each token to the probability that the mail is spam. If you want to convince yourself, or someone else, that you are doing a lot of them. I'm so determined that I can't imagine what's going on in the heads of people who can work for salary at 1000-person companies.

In almost everything, reward is proportionate to risk. The striking thing about this phase is that it's harder for them to make it look fast. And that's why startups thrive in startup hubs they understand it. Structurally it is to an ordinary university what suburbia is to a city. You should be able to reproduce this at most colleges if you make a conscious effort to find smart friends. Intel can no longer give us faster CPUs, just more of them to solve a given problem. It is just as well, and with it growth. Over and over, I've seen startups we've funded told us later that they only decided to apply at the last moment. How much do we have to do, at least for programmers.

If they'd had to grow the company gradually, by iterating through several versions they sold to real users, they'd have only fear of loss. The url is in such cases practically enough by itself to determine whether the email is neutral, the spam of the future, it will at least show other organizations what to aim for. Don't say, for example. People are all over this idea lately, and I get an uneasy feeling when I look at my bookshelves. If an adult says that's a stupid idea, a kid will either crawl away with his tail between his legs, or rebel. Actually this tradition is not much more than a Bayesian combination of the spam probabilities of individual words. Back in the days of fanfold, there was a type of programmer who would only put five or ten lines of code on a page, preceded by twenty lines of elaborately formatted comments. It's a smart move to put a startup in a place where there was infrastructure for startups, accumulated knowledge about how to make them excessively conservative. Technology will increasingly make it possible to relive our experiences. The most powerful form of disagreement, we give critical readers a pin for popping such balloons.

Nor is there anything wrong with that. People buying technology for large organizations. Startups aren't interesting just because they're a way to reinforce what you learned in that chapter. I advised graduating seniors to work for Microsoft, you can always make money from it. If there's something wrong with the senator's argument, you should not merely ignore their objections, but push aggressively in that direction. Founders tell themselves they need to without anyone telling them. 047225013 standardization 0. Contradiction. There have only been a handful of the most egregious spam indicators. I realize this kind of controversy is a sign of a good idea. I asked more to see how he'd qualify it.

When only 1. Maybe mostly in one hub. Dealing with immigration problems is like raising money: for some reason it seems to consume all your attention. If you write the laws very carefully, that is. Cancer will show up on some sort of radar screen immediately. If a mail triggers this second level of testing designed specifically to avoid false positives. I was even more convinced of it after hearing it confirmed by Hilbert. But you may have to like debugging to like programming, considering the degree to which programming consists of it. This argument applies proportionately. Redwoods mean those are the parts where the fog off the coast comes in at night; redwoods condense rain out of fog. Each person should just do what they need to hire in order to be successful.

Naive founders think that if checksum-based spam filtering becomes a serious obstacle, the spammers will just switch to mad-lib techniques for generating message bodies. I had a thought so heretical that it really surprised me. I like. So if you're ready to clip on that ID badge and go to that orientation session, you may be better to get selected than applicants not of type x have to be good at math to write Mathematica. Suppose you wanted to get rid of economic inequality. At first it may seem cool to get paid for doing easy stuff, after paying to do hard stuff in college. VCs weren't allowed to get rich. Eventually we may be able to avoid the fatal pinch. We currently fund about 40 companies a year, selected from about 900 applications representing a total of about 2000 people.

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jinterlude · 6 years ago

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Our Second Chance (Ch.3)

➳ Pairing: Kim Seokjin x Female OC

➳ Genre(s): Modern!AU, Royalty!AU, Modern Royal Family!AU , Enemies turned Lovers, Friendship, Humor, Romance, & Angst

➳ Words: 5.3K

➳ Summary: Have you ever gotten that familiar feeling when you first see someone? That strange connection between yourselves even though you have no clue where that came from. Yeah…that was the sensation that Sumin felt on a daily basis ever since she has come face-to-face with the one and only Kim Seokjin. Despite being named after their ancestors, two people who were madly in love with each other, these two cannot stand to be in each other’s presence. However, that must change or else history will repeat itself. Sounds like an adventure, right?

※ Previously: ch.1 | ch.2

※ Next time: ch.4 | ch.5 | ch.6 | ch.7 | coming soon!

Chapter 3 – You Scratch My Back. I’ll Scratch Yours.

Previously

Seokjin watched her fleeing body with curiosity. He became incredibly confused as to why the stubborn princess suddenly ran away after he explained how he got the painting.

“What a strange woman…” He thought with an amused yet faint smile.

Minutes later, he snapped back to reality and walked back to his desk. As he picked up the documents, he carelessly tossed onto his desk, and tried to focus on preparing for his meeting. The meeting that he had been over a few hours late. Thankfully, his meetings would never officially commence until he instructed his receptionist an official notice.

His eyes scanned the same line over and over. Why was his mind in jumbles still?

More importantly…

Why did his heart suddenly feel off? Like it felt empty the moment Sumin rushed out. It was if his mind was longing for her presence again.

Seokjin shook that thought away instantly and went back to work.

Yet the image of her beautiful face would forever be etched in his mind.

“What an interesting day, Kim Seokjin…what an interesting day…”

Unfortunately, Sumin did not share the same sentiments. The moment she exited his office, her phone vibrated uncontrollably. She walked further along the corridor before digging out her smartphone. She held her index finger to the reader and unlocked the device.

Her eyes nearly popped out as she homed in on the 100+ notifications. Why were there so many messages? More importantly—why were a majority of them from her parents?

Wait…

Oh no…

Sumin ignored the messages and instantly dialed her mother’s number. A heavy sigh exited through her nostrils as she tried her best to calm down. The last thing she wanted was to blow up in front of Seokjin’s workers; thus, solidifying his suspicion on her being this easily-tempered princess.

The phone rang and rang until it eventually went to voicemail. Sumin puffed out her cheeks before pulling away the smartphone and locking it again. She then shoved it back in her purse and continued her tiny journey towards the entrance.

Her mother was going to hear a mouthful from her the next time she sees her…

Soft whispers of the wind brushed through the locks of hair. The familiar scent of salty air invaded the nostrils, creating this calming aura all around. Trillions of stars twinkled in the night sky as it surrounded the ever so luminescent full moon, acting as its bodyguard. The waves repeatedly crashed against the cliff as an unknown woman stared longingly out to the vast sea.

Sumin squinted her eyes, hoping to catch a better look at the woman.

“Hello?” She called out, scrunching the hem of her dress and taking the first step towards the stranger.

Chilling sensations entered through the pads of her feet as Sumin was not prepared to handle the damp rocks, however, she strolled on, desperate to uncover the mystery that was the woman who simply gazed out to the ocean.

“Excuse me!” Sumin shouted once more as the gap between them shrunk with each movement.

“Have you seen my love?” asked the woman; her voice laced with desperation and sadness.

Sumin stopped in her tracks, unprepared for her sudden question. Her brows knitted together as her muddled brain managed to recognize the familiar tone of voice. However, she decided to not say anything as her top most priority would always be to help the people in need.

She resumed her steps until she was practically right behind her. The unknown woman could feel Sumin’s breath on the back of her neck if she wanted. That’s how close Sumin was yet for some strange reason, Sumin could not move away. Something drew her in towards the woman.

“I’m sorry?” Sumin questioned, wanting a more detailed question from the woman.

“My love. It has been quite some time since I last saw him. Please. Tell me that you have seen my one true love lingering around the castle grounds… There is something that I must confess to him…” The woman said.

Sumin could not see her face, but she could tell the woman was on the verge of tears. Oh God… Sumin hoped that she would not become like her if she were to fall in love. Love was both a scary yet beautiful emotion.

As she was about to answer, the woman slowly turned, revealing bits of her face, and just as Sumin registered who the face was, she suddenly felt her body being touched. She felt something blanket over her, which was rather odd since she was standing and fully awake.

Unless…

“You have to be quick. While my daughter is quite the heavy sleeper, she does have her moments where she wakes quickly if disturbed.” A voice warned, alarming Sumin and causing the foreign woman to vanish from her sight.

“Wait come back!” Sumin shouted, jolting awake and causing the unknown piece of fabric to fall from her body.

Sumin’s mother eyed her with nothing but pure concern, forgetting that she had been measuring Sumin for her future wedding gown.

“What’s wrong, Sumin?” The queen asked, placing a warm hand on top of hers.

Sumin shook her head and told her mother that it was nothing. She further added that it was just a questionable dream. As she talked her to her mother, her eyes trailed down, noticing a piece of ivory cloth covering her navy-blue comforter.

Sumin slowly grabbed the cloth, letting out an angry sigh. She stared at the fabric and demanded her mother to explain what she had been doing to her while she slumbered.

“I was just getting a head start on your wedding dress, my precious daughter. Besides, the deadline that your father had stated is soon approaching, so I thought why not,” The queen smiled sweetly at Sumin, “There has been little to no progress between you and that Seokjin fella, and Namjoon is more than a suitable husband for you. You just need to accept it and learn to love him. After all, all great relationships start off with a wonderful friendship.” The queen finished her speech before exiting Sumin’s room with the seamstress trailing behind.

Sumin nearly gagged at the thought of marrying Namjoon. Yes, he had been nothing but a true friend to her, but again, that was it. He was only her dear friend, and there was no way in Hell that she would ever see him in a romantic light.

Letting out a strong huff, Sumin flopped back on her bed; her head lightly landed on the fluffy pillow. She then grabbed her comforter and covered her entire body, her face included.

She closed her eyes and hoped to drift back to dreamland. Sumin was dying to know who the face was, and why the woman looked so familiar to her. More importantly, why had she been having that recurring dream ever since her face-to-face meeting with Seokjin? Ever since that day, Sumin could not shake off this feeling of complete desire. The need for him to hold her nice and close against his broad chest. His hands firmly anchored on her hips; his touch ignited a strange sensation throughout her entire body as he stared at her with nothing but pure love. God, just the mere thought of his fingers softly grazing her delicate skin sent her mind into a frenzy.

It honestly did not help that she had the image of his handsome face, particularly his gorgeous mouth, etched in her brain. That mouth of his was the center of some fantasies that left Sumin satisfied at the end of her self-pleasuring…

As her body and mind slowly succumbed to thoughts of Seokjin ravishing her neck with his plump, addicting lips, a buzzing sound invaded her ears and interrupted the mood. At first, she ignored it but then it got too noticeable. She sighed yet again and uncovered her face. She reached for her phone, that’s currently attached to her charger cable, and detached it.

Unbothered to check the caller-id, Sumin answered the call. Her breath instantly hitched the moment she heard his irresistible, deep voice. Damn, this man had interesting timing.

She quickly cleared her throat, hoping to rid of the shakiness in her tone, before asking,

“Seokjin? May I ask how you got my number?”

She heard Seokjin chuckle before replying,

“Oh…that… Well, you see I may have obtained it from Jungkook, who obtained it from your friend, Sowon.”

A heavy sigh escaped her lips as Sumin took a mental note to choke her dear friend the next time she saw her.

“Sumin? Are you okay?” asked Seokjin, trying to mask the worry in his voice.

Sumin snapped back to senses and replied,

“Huh? Oh, yes. I’m fine. Sowon is an interesting character to say the least…”

She then heard his chuckles before adding that he knew all about interesting characters. His gang of friends were the prime example of that which caused Sumin to giggle in response. Wait, did she just giggle? Sumin never giggled in her life…what kind of spell did he cast on her? How did he manage to bring out new emotions that she had never felt before? What was wrong with her?

“I don’t doubt that. I mean, Namjoon is a mutual friend of ours.”

"Indeed, he is. Indeed, he is.”

Suddenly, a blanket of comforting silence covered them. For some reason, no words were needed right now. The sounds of soft breathing were sufficient. Seokjin thanked the stars that it was just indeed a phone call. If he were to ask a certain question in person, he would be a nervous mess.

Like Sumin, ever since that day in his office, he could not stop thinking about the fiery princess. The princess that had no shame in putting him in his place. The princess that had a rather colorful vocabulary during their loud argument. Something about her, he just could not forget even if he tried—but he knew that he didn’t. Her doe-like eyes that stared at him with pure annoyance. Her innocent smile that covered the snarl she had seconds before. It was a mystery to him how this one princess could radiate pureness yet became this ticking bomb with each passing moment.

Above all…it was a mystery to him on why he had planned numerous of ways to ask her out on a date.

The Gods of romance played a fascinating game with his love life, and Seokjin allowed it—he allowed it.

“I’m sorry, but can you repeat that?” asked Seokjin the moment he heard her melodious voice speak.

On Sumin’s end, she chuckled softly and repeated her question.

“I asked, what do I owe the pleasure of your phone call, Seokjin?”

Seokjin’s heart stopped briefly. Shit. All his rehearing went out the window. He practiced in the mirror of his bathroom. He practiced in the mirror of his office. He pretty much took every single chance to practice the perfect date proposal. Why? Well, Namjoon called him a fool.

“You are acting like a lovesick fool dude…” Seokjin recalled Namjoon’s words. Words that he agreed with unfortunately…

“Seokjin?” Seokjin heard Sumin say, pulling him away from his jumbled thoughts.

He cleared his throat, calming his mind. Just as he opened his mouth to speak, he heard a door open on Sumin’s end followed by her asking what the person wanted.

The rest of the conversation was muffled, and he could no longer make out the words. He would pick up bits and pieces; sadly, the words that were clear caused this sense of nervousness to surge through his veins. That feeling of anxiety that resulted in his heart speeding up and his breathing becoming sporadic.

The once happy and feeling of love soon became replaced with a foreign emotion. A strange sensation that created irrational thoughts and scenarios that only frustrated Seokjin.

It also didn’t help that the unknown person mentioned his close friend, Namjoon.

The same Namjoon that was engaged to the princess. The princess he had fallen smitten for and wanted to take out on a romantic date.

No…

He couldn’t do that to Namjoon. While, yes, it was an arranged marriage between the two of them. He could not, with a good conscious, take that potential chance of romance blossoming between them away.

Though it was rare for two people to fall in love during an arranged marriage, it was not unheard of. Knowing that, Seokjin could not do that to his dear friend. At the same time, while he was thinking that, he had forgotten that Namjoon expressed discomfort on the arranged marriage on numerous of occasions.

Seokjin was utter and completely confused, and his irrational thoughts were not helpful whatsoever.

Not wanting to hear Sumin’s rejection, Seokjin pulled the phone away from his ear and forced himself to hang up.

He locked his phone and then tossed it to the side before leaning on his office chair; his eyes stared blankly at the ceiling as he became alone with his thoughts.

“What am I going to do with you, Princess Sumin? What am I going to do…?”

Meanwhile, with Sumin, she had grown tired of the conversation she had with her father. Once again, her father brought up the pending marriage to Namjoon and secretly rubbed the upcoming deadline in her face. She dismissed word after word and hurried her father out of the room as she wanted to go back to her pleasant conversation with Seokjin.

She faked a sweet smile as she watched her father retreat from her room. She waited for the sound of the door closing before rushing back to the phone call.

As she opened her mouth to resume the conversation, she noticed that her phone was back on the home screen. She furrowed her brows and opened the phone app. She clicked on Seokjin’s oncoming call and saw that the call had ended ten minutes ago.

A heavy sigh emitted from her lips as she flung her body back, however, the second she did that, a throbbing sensation entered the back of her head. Well, how embarrassing…

She rubbed the aching area as she contemplated calling Seokjin back, especially since she was even curiouser about what the purpose of his phone call was. Maybe, he was about to ask her out on a date?

Sumin’s eyes widened at the mere thought of him actually giving him a chance. A tiny smile formed while a pinkish tint painted her precious cheeks.

Oh wow…a date with Kim Seokjin.

Without a second thought, she tapped his number and proceeded to call him. Sadly, not even after the second ring, it went straight to voicemail.

Seokjin sent her straight to voicemail…

She didn’t understand why, but that small gesture pierced her heart. Confusion flooded her entire body and mind as she questioned every single thought and pondered her previous words towards the man. She had thought the conversation was going smoothly yet he had declined her call.

With pursed lips, she ended the call and hooked her phone back to the charger. As she did that, an idea appeared to her. Why dwell on this so-called rejection? If Seokjin wanted a date with her, then a date there shall be…

Unfortunately, there were minor setbacks while planning a date with the one and only Kim Seokjin. The first day, Sumin had planned an ideal date for the two of them, where it consisted a walk around the park and a nice picnic with food cooked by her. She had spent the entire weekend making sure every single thing was perfect. With a determined smile, she picked up her phone and dialed Seokjin’s number. Before the phone reached the fourth ring, she heard his voice. Sadly, his voice was less than friendly…

“Uh…well, I was wondering if you would like to accompany me to the park! I hear that some of our trees are beautifully decorated with the Autumn colors and—” Before she could finish her sentence, Seokjin flat out rejected her date request and then rudely hung up on her.

Sumin’s jaw nearly dropped to the floor as she stared in disbelief at her phone. She clicked her tongue out of annoyance as she picked up her office phone and dialed the mainline to the royal housekeeper. With an apologetic tone, she sadly announced that Seokjin could not make it to their date and told them that they should take the food to the local homeless shelter. The main housekeeper said a quick, “Okay”, before hanging up.

Sumin attached the phone back to the base and sat in her office chair. She slightly swiveled the chair, feeling the slump of rejection. She stared absentmindedly at the ceiling until an idea landed on her like a ton of bricks. She scrambled for her phone and then dialed Namjoon’s number.

If she were going to land a date with Seokjin, then she would need the help of someone who had been nothing but a loyal friend to both her and Seokjin.

Good idea, right?

Yeah…

In the next few days, even with the help of Namjoon, it had been proven useless. No matter what Namjoon suggested, Seokjin would instantly reject her. His words became incredibly colorful each time.

Now, sheltered inside her office yet again, it had been a full-on week since her first attempt of asking out Seokjin, and she had been batting at an average of 0 hits. Every time she went up to bat, she swiftly stroke out before she could even think about swinging.

She needed a different approach. Something that would catch Seokjin off guard—basically speechless.

Wait…

That was it!

Different! She needed to recruit a certain queen to assist.

“You’re kidding, right? You really want Seokjin’s first meeting with Sowon to be when you’re trying to win a date with him?” Namjoon questioned cautiously.

Sumin glared at Namjoon, “I could care less right now. She’s an expert on capturing the attention of anyone and as you can see, I am pretty desperate right now…” She stated as she texted an SOS to Sowon.

Namjoon could only sigh in response as his little façade threatened to break, like tiny glass shards that fell piece by piece. Every time Sumin would mention Seokjin, and the fact that she had been trying so hard to land a date with the pretty boy, only left a sense of pain within in his heart.

It had been a huge secret that he kept buried deep inside. A secret that hid his true, genuine feelings towards the princess. He had been in love with his best friend for years, and it truly sucked knowing that she could never see him in a romantic light. He would be lying to say that he didn’t honestly try to change her mind. He had dropped subtle hints that he wanted to give them a try, but Sumin only thought that he was simply acting to keep her parents happy.

Every kiss on the lips fueled his love towards her. Honestly, he was the fool in love. A fool to be in love with someone that had her eyes on someone else—his best friend.

Only Yoongi and Hoseok knew about his dark secret and tried numerous of times to convince him to tell Sumin the truth, but Namjoon knew better. He knew better that no matter what, he’d rather stay her friend and have her in his life than not at all. At the end of the day, he lived true to his motto.

“Her happiness is my happiness…”

With a forced smile, Namjoon sat close to Sumin and wrapped a warm arm around her shoulders, pulling her close.

“Well, there was one idea that we haven’t tried yet,” He began, earning himself Sumin’s undivided attention, “I have one more idea for a date that would definitely leave Seokjin speechless and saying yes…” He trailed on as he began unveiling his idea.

Unknown to the two of them, Sumin’s father happened to be walking by when he heard sounds of laughter. He quickly peeked inside his daughter’s office, and his heart practically soared at such a sight. The sight of Namjoon and Sumin sitting rather closely and smiling as if they loved one another.

Wanting to share the news with his wife, the King slowly closed the door and hurried towards the garden. As he hurried down the corridor, he failed to notice that Sowon headed towards Sumin’s office.

Sowon’s brow raised as she wondered why Sumin’s father wore the biggest smile she had ever seen. She quickened her pace as she closed the gap between herself and the door.

Unbothered with the whole knocking, Sowon barged right in and announced,

“You know…from my years of knowing you, my soft princess, I have never seen your dad smile that wide.”

Both Sumin and Namjoon stared at the queen with pure confusion. Their brows were knitted together. Tiny creases formed on their foreheads. Finally, Sumin spoke first, asking Sowon to clarify what she had meant.

“Well, what I mean is that your dad looked like he had just won the jackpot and ran off to tell someone the news…” Sowon explained, taking a seat on the leather couch.

Sumin’s eyes immediately widened, and she dashed out of the room. She ran down the hallway but came to a halt the moment she saw her dad talking to Seokjin as he shook his hand.

Not good. Not good at all.

Letting out a huff, she stomped her way up to her dad and once again came to a stop. What she heard next left her speechless and further angered her.

“I knew that Namjoon and Sumin would work this out,” She continued to witness her father shake Seokjin’s hand and beaming in happiness, “I am honestly over the moon that I would live to see my daughter marry, and while I have just met you Sir Seokjin, I am personally inviting you to the upcoming nuptials.” The king finished, finally ceasing in shaking Seokjin’s hand.

Sumin rolled her eyes as she walked up to her dad and tapped him on the shoulder.

“I can’t believe you, daddy. I thought I have told you that both you and mom need to stop planning my wedding behind my back! I have stated countless of times that Namjoon and I are just friends, and I will never marry him. Okay?” She said; her tone laced with frustration and anger.

Her father waved off her harsh words, “Are you sure? I have heard you and Namjoon laughing and you can’t tell me that the smiles the two of you wore were fake.”

Sumin rubbed the sides of her forehead. Her patience wore thin. She wanted to disappear and just forget about everything and anything that dealt with her stupid engagement.

“See, Seokjin, she is quite speechless from thinking about her earlier interaction with Namjoon.” She heard her father say. Wait, Seokjin. Her endless frustration made her forget that Seokjin was there as well.

She mustered the sweetest smile ever and turned towards Seokjin. Her next action captured Seokjin off guard.

“You see, daddy, the reason for the smiles and laughter is because Namjoon was helping me plan the perfect date for Seokjin and I,” She then hooked her arm around Seokjin’s, “And then you just ruined the surprise…” Sumin stated with a cute pout on her face.

Sumin’s father eyed her strongly, trying to find the lie within her words. Then, a short hum left his lips and just as he opened his mouth to say something, what Seokjin said next caught, only him off guard, but Sumin as well.

Her mouth became agape. That’s how shocked she was to hear the words that came out of his lips.

“I am sure whatever date you have planned for us, sweetheart, it will definitely be one to remember,” He placed a soft kiss on her temple, “I just hope I am not too late to retract my rejection on your offer on the many dates you had proposed earlier,” He then switched his focus on to Sumin’s father, “You see, I felt so bad for rejecting her previous offers since I had important business to attend to, and I honestly did not want to keep standing her up, however, after seeing her humongous effort to keep planning these romantic dates and wanting to spend time with me, I see now that it is incredibly important to find the balance between my work life and my love life.” Seokjin finished with a sincere smile as he eyed Sumin with pure adoration.

Sumin felt her face flush as her heart skipped a beat. Hearing his words made her swoon…too bad her rational side knew that he was merely acting and unintentionally making her predicament worse.

Wanting to keep the act up a little longer, Sumin smiled sweetly and told Seokjin that he had been forgiven, and she was honestly happy that he had finally found the time to be with her.

Sumin’s father nodded, believing in the words that Seokjin said. His mannerisms kind of reminded of himself when he was pursuing Sumin’s mother.

Ah the good old days.

Yet, being the protective father that he was, he still kept a watchful eye on Seokjin. He then smiled warmly at the two of them and bid them a fond farewell before walking away to attend to his daily royal duties.

Sumin maintained her smile until her father’s backside was no longer visible. The second he disappeared from her sight, Sumin immediately dropped the façade. No longer wearing the sweet, warm smile, Sumin’s lips remained neutral while her eyes bore the emotions. The rather furious emotions. She unhooked her arms from his and then crossed them over her chest. Her jaw clenched in anger.

“What the fuck was that about?” She asked coldly, demanding an answer from the handsome yet arrogant man.

Seokjin brushed off her sudden attitude and simply shrugged; through, deep down he didn’t know how to answer her question. Why had he chimed in like that? Why did he place a sweet, innocent kiss on her head?

More importantly, why had that ugly, foreign emotion infiltrated his heart once again? He definitely he needed some one-on-one time with Sandeul and Ken. Those two, outside of his inner circle, were his most trustworthy friends—his brothers.

“Look, don't think too much into what I just did. From what Namjoon had told me, the two of you hate the whole wedding talk and since I don't like seeing him uncomfortable, I decided to do you guys a favor. Now, you owe me." He “kindly” explained, smiling smugly near the end.

Sumin gawked. Did she just hear him right? She owed him? Yeah. No. That was not happening.

Her eyes narrowed, practically disappearing, as she breathed heavily. Her temper skyrocketed at that moment.

“Owe you? Are you kidding me right now?!” Sumin questioned loudly, looking at him in disbelief.

Seokjin shrugged, averting his gaze. The reason behind that was because he eyes homed in on her chest as it heaved up and down. He thanked and cursed the Gods for blessing his eyes, and the fact that Sumin decided to wear a blouse with a v-neckline. Because of that, he got a good look at her chest…

Wow, he became this pervert when it came to her—and it all started that fateful day in his office last month. Since that day, he could not get her out of his mind. Specifically, he could not get the image of her plump lips out his mind. God, he would be lying if he told one of his friends, right now, that he had never fantasized about the princess. How her lips would feel around his cock. How her moans would sound whether he thrusted mercilessly or took his sweet time. Damn, he felt himself hardened at those unholy thoughts, and what made it even worse, practically creepy, was that while he thought about making love to Sumin, she was busy yelling at him.

Speaking of which…what was she hollering about now?

Seokjin tuned back in with a disinterested expression sketched on his handsome face.

“I don’t owe you shit! Because of what you have done, I have to now devise a whole new plan with Namjoon and some how manage to convince my parents that you and I will never be an official thing!” Sumin ranted loudly, “And to think…I was going to offer you a deal because I have heard about your tiny dilemma with Malaysia and Thailand and out of the kindness of my heart, I had written them both a convincing letter that pretty much hints at you earning the title of “prince” because of your relationship with me. Now. I’m going to burn those letters since you oh so kindly screwed me over.” She added before turning on her heels and storming back to her office.

Before she had gotten completely away, Seokjin reached out, gently grabbed her wrist, and pulled her closer.

Sumin’s eyes flickered to her wrist and then at Seokjin. Her gaze hardened as she demanded him to unhand her or else she’d scream bloody murder.

Seokjin rolled his eyes, unnerved by her threats. He then shot her look that pretty much said, “Sweetheart, you need me just as much as I need you.”

Sumin roughly freed her wrist and sighed loudly, glaring at the duke. She despised that he was right. She hated being wrong.

“Okay. Fine. Just stop staring at me like that and wipe that smug smirk off your face,” She paused, inhaling and exhaling nice and slow, “I hate that you’re right…Alright, I propose a deal between us. In exchange for these letters that will secure your company’s trading routes with both Malaysia and Thailand, I want a fair chance with you. You will accompany me on these dates and develop a fresh new opinion. What you “know” about me before is gone from your mind, and by the end of the sixth month of my deadline you don’t develop any romantic feelings about me, then we can end things on a neutral note. Deal?” She proposed, holding out her hand for him to shake.

Seokjin remained silent, taking in the deal she had offered before him. In exchange of those letters that would help out his family tremendously, he’d only have to go on dates with her? There’s no way it would backfire right? The royal families of Malaysia and Thailand would back out if their relationship ended? Maybe he should ask…which he did.

Seokjin hummed in response as Sumin gave him her word that she’d make sure that Thailand and Malaysia would not back out of trading agreement if their relationship were to end.

He rubbed his chin, feeling the tiny stumble, as he thought about the different outcomes of this arrangement. His mind came up with mostly positive results. His family would benefit, he could engage in meaningless sex with the princess, and then hopefully sort out his feelings towards Sumin. At the end of this, he’d happily declare that it was never romantic feelings he felt towards her, and it was just lust and then move on with his life.

Yeah…

Lust…

What a load of bullshit…Seokjin knew that it wasn’t lust. Well his heart knew it wasn’t just lust. He was a fool that was completely infatuated with the woman, who patiently waited for his hand to shake. Unknown to him, that woman felt the same way. She too became heavily smitten with him. One could say that she was teetering on the fence of being in love with him. However, her pride had gotten in the way, and she’d never admit that she had some sort of romantic feelings towards him.

With a heavy sigh, he placed his hand into hers and shook it, ignoring the fiery touch that ignited the moment his palm came into contact with hers. That warm sensation that entered his heart, causing it to beat uncontrollably.

“You got yourself a deal, princess…”

A/N: Okay! We are slowly leaving the train station and heading straight towards the romance and the angst that is Seokjin & Sumin! I hope you guys like this update! I’m incredibly sorry that these updates are tad slow (even more so with the writing process since my motivation/inspiration comes and goes and then I’m juggling an internship, studying for my teacher tests, and can’t forget school work! I hope you guys are understanding!) I shall see you guys in the next update! Maybe you guys will even see never before scene from Fight for Me via flashback!

Don’t forget to leave a like/reblog/comment/ask in my inbox! I love hearing your thoughts! :)

- Kim

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