#anyways thanks for taking the time to read

[beloveds-embrace]

I just read the poly 141 w/ past abuse reader and omg I love them all so much 😭. Would it be possible for a pt.2 (obviously you don't have to) but like how 141 reacts if they encounter readers family or something along those lines you know? (Ps. I love your writing. It's just *chefs kiss* you are amazing and I hope you have a wonderful day lovely!)

Thank you for your kind words!! I love compliments sorry i soak them up like sponge but ne ways here is part 2 (though it’s on the shorter side) and i hope you have an amazing day!

Part 1

CW: mentions of abusive and neglectful family

You knew it would happen, sooner or later. You knew this fragile peace you had been given wouldn’t last; it was only a matter of when that all of it would crumble apart and you’d be left-

“Calm down, love.” John’s hands settle on your shoulders, thumbs rubbing the tenseness out. His eyes are warm and so is his voice, his face, only for you. He squeezes, the touch grounding. “Take some deep breaths for me. Everything’ll be fine. We’re right with you, remember?”

You do as he says, twisting the fabric of your clothes in your hands. Your lips are chapped- bitten raw even when you keep getting glossy kisses from Kyle and Johnny who have stolen your chapstick. Though you want to reply to him, you are far more focused on the that is parking right outside your shop.

You are being stupid, and you know it. Your parents are simply picking up a flower bouquet order. That’s it. Nothing more, nothing less, but you know how they are. Nevermind the fact the bouquet is for your sister’s baby shower that you are not invited to anyways.

There is no reason for you to be so scared that all four of your boyfriends tagged along today for your sake (they would have tagged along anyways the second you mentioned your parents would be there).

You know, logically, that your parents are just here for the bouquet, but the familiar dread still claws at you, a reminder of all the ways they’ve made you feel small over the years. And yet, with John’s warm hands on your shoulders, Kyle’s steady presence, Johnny’s easy grin, the fond pecks, and Simon’s quiet strength surrounding you, it’s different this time. You’re… not alone.

Yet when the car door slams shut loudly, a shiver runs through you, but Kyle’s hand finds yours, grounding you along with John. “We got you, yeah, dove?” he murmurs, giving you a reassuring smile that brings a little calm to your nerves. You nod, drawing a deep breath just as the door chimes and your parents step inside already looking so unimpressed with your shop. They’d always thought your passion for flower and plants was useless.

But they pause, taken aback by the sight of you with these men. You can feel the judgment in their gaze, the thinly veiled disapproval that once would have made you shrink. But now, with your boyfriends beside you, you… don’t feel quite so afraid. You don’t feel like you need to bury every part of yourself and only show the smoothed out edges your parents forced on you.

Your mother’s eyes narrow as she looks at you, at the way you aren’t immediately bowing your head and making yourself smaller even if you remain as quiet as you’ve been taught, and then she looks at the men standing protectively around you. “We’re here for the bouquet,” she says, her tone clipped, as if even this brief interaction is an inconvenience. No greeting, not a single ounce of warmth. Typical, and by now the hurt has become far less sharp than it had ever been.

“Here it is, mother.” You say, your voice small but steady. Your hands only shake just a little as you show her the bouquet, thought it’s Johnny who gently takes it from your hands, all but shoves it towards your mother, and smiles at them.

Your father’s gaze shifts to you from Johnny, his mouth opening as if he’s about to say something scathing, but Simon steps forward, his posture relaxed but his eyes hard- and his mask makes him look even more intimidating. “Anything else you need?” he asks, his voice calm yet leaving no room for confrontation, or even any other request.

You don’t mind this attitude, you realize. You are just- so glad it’s not you on the receiving end.

Your father hesitates, clearly taken aback and unused to being addressed so rudely, and you watch as he realizes he has no power here. None of his usual tactics- snide remarks, dismissive gestures, cold silence- can reach you. Not with these men shielding you, grounding you, and reminding you that you are worth so much more than their disdain.

“…We are leaving.” He clears his throat instead, shooting you a scathing look that says they will definitely be calling you later and belittling you, but… you know you will not be alone to deal with that later. Not anymore. Your mother is shooting you displeased glares, her hands white around the bouquet. But she says nothing, and for that you are glad.

As they leave, at last, John chuckles softly, leaning down close to kiss your shoulder. “They didn’t expect that, did they?”

You shake your head, almost laughing, a strange, freeing sensation bubbling up in your chest. Kyle comes close and wraps his arms around your shoulders, an embrace so warm and gentle. “See, love? You don’t have to face them alone anymore.”

And you realize he’s right. You don’t have to hold up a crumbling wall on your own anymore. These men have become the family you never had- solid, unwavering, reminding you every day that you deserve love and peace.

For the first time, you feel like maybe, just maybe, you can truly let go of the fear they instilled in you. For the first time, you feel like you can simply be yourself and be loved all the same for it.

[unformula1]

part 2 for that lando fic plzz 🙏🙏 ill patiently wait 🥹

promises - 2 (ln4)

part 1 || lando reaches out to you, and you seek the closure you need (3898 words) a/n: this one is pretty long so take a break mid read if you need. i also spent SO LONG trying to find the right way to close this. if theres any feedback dont be afraid to share. || masterlist taglist/thanks for supporting lol: @unknownmystery22 @hlhl99 @landorris @aleatorio1234 @sopanngon @abq46 @notsoordinaryatlas @hadesnumber1daughter @milk-en-suggarrr @daemyratwst @artsucker12 @pancakes4nina @cmleitora @krishasworld @chicanecharm43381310

“Lando?” You audibly spoke.

Your finger hovered over the notification for a few seconds as you stared blankly at the screen. 

Why would he text you? And more specifically, why now?

You quickly sat back down on your couch, taking a deep breath and mentally preparing yourself. You didn’t even know why you were so stressed about this.

You opened the notification and sat there as the app took what felt like forever to load into the DM.

landonorris: hi, remember me? hope you do :) i’m coming back this week, do you wanna meet up.

Oh. Oh.

You gave yourself a few seconds to process everything, placing your phone face down on the couch. 

Lando Norris just DMed you.

The Lando Norris. 

The Lando Norris who used to be friends with you

The Lando Norris who cut ties with you

“Okay.” You whispered to yourself as the air in your apartment grew tense. You picked your phone back up.

This was so stupid, why were you thinking so much about this? This was still that little kid at the playground who talked about taking over the world with a racing kart.

You stared at your phone, the message glowing on the screen back into your eyes. A small part of you wanted to be bitter, say no, reject him. For all the lost years that you two could've had, for the unfulfilled promises that he probably threw away in favour of his bigger ambitions.

You sighed. Deep down, nothing would ever come between you and Lando. You liked to believe you two would still be as close as you two were back then. Your emotions were feeling all too complex, all too messy. 

You typed in your message and sent them as quickly as possible, before you’d second-think yourself.

hi lando. it’s been a while. i’d love to meet up again. send me the details.

You internally cringed at yourself before switching off your phone. 

Now it was just you, and your thoughts.

You missed Lando but he made all those empty, bland, pointless promises only to ditch them all to fly towards his ambitions; and it took you forever but eventually, you came to peace with it. 

It was probably the hardest thing you had to do, you couldn’t just forget 10-ish years of friendship, some of your purest moments with Lando, your toughest and your wildest moments. You basically grew up with him, and watched him grow, and somehow now you had to live without it.

You never left the town you two grew up in, it never felt right to abandon your entire childhood. Never felt right to abandon Lando. So you stayed, you got your own apartment, your own job. You also visited the playground a few times a month, just for the feels, or when you desperately needed someone to talk to.

No one came close to Lando. Or rather, no one would ever come close to what Lando made you feel. If he was the standard, everyone else fell short.

Sometimes, when things got tough, you’d visit the playground again, sitting at the exact same spot and looking up at the moon, then everything would start flowing back in, all the wishes, the stinging feelings.

But anyway, Lando was gone and that was something that you couldn’t change. 

Your phone chimed again, snapping you out of your swirling thoughts, prompting you to pick your phone back up.

landonorris: i’m free this weekend so i’m coming back if that’s okay landonorris: we have a lot of catching up to do.

You took a deep breath. It wasn’t worth dwelling on the negatives, you could sort that out when he arrived. It was always better to talk about these things in person… right?

He sent you another message.

landonorris: and i have an apology to make

You froze. Oh shit.

You blinked a few times, concerned that your eyes were playing some trick on you.

They weren’t.

You opened the DM on a slight impulse. Looking at the messages, you didn’t really know what to reply.

i’m excited to see you again 

i’ll pick you up at the airport

You settled on liking the message about an apology, at least he would know you weren’t just conveniently ignoring it.

It took some time but it dawned on you the gravity of it all. It was years of disconnection that would culminate in a few days, and it would probably determine if this friendship would continue.

You never thought that one day you’d be messaging Lando again, let alone agreeing to meet up with him. It just felt so unreal, like you were in some sick fever dream, but it wasn’t. This was real.

No normal person would’ve done this, but you and Lando didn’t have a normal relationship, it was both of your childhoods. So this made sense. Right?

It held something in your heart, because you wanted this to continue, you were still that child who never wanted to let Lando leave the airport and never come back. However, you also didn’t know if this was right, more empty promises were only going to hurt you even more.

You took a deep breath.

You were ready for this.

—

You were, in fact, probably never ready for this. You couldn’t mentally prepare yourself for this. How could you?

You were in the taxi on the way to the airport, as you stared at the chat messages. You had messaged each other back and forth for this whole week, nothing more than simple, surface level messages and the occasional “remember when”. Something always felt weird, pretending the years of no contact never existed.

You looked out the window as the giant buildings upon buildings graced your eyes. You hadn’t been here in forever, not since Lando left. You never really needed to leave this place.

You held onto the gift you got for him, which were cookies, the ones your parents used to make for you and him. The ones he loved and always begged for more. You hoped he still liked them.

Around your neck was the necklace he gave you all those years ago, which you still kept by your bedside, just for old-times sake. You hoped he still had his one.

You exited the taxi and walked through the automatic doors of the airport. The gush of air conditioning rushed against your face as you stood there. It wasn’t even peak season and the place was packed. 

You double checked the gate which Lando sent you before making your way over there, gripping tightly onto the packet of cookies. You spent hours finding the perfect packaging for it, maybe you were a perfectionist, or maybe you just wanted it perfect for Lando.

You took some time, since the place had changed a lot since you last came here, but you found the gate. You leaned against a nearby pillar, holding onto your gift for him pretty tightly, almost creasing the packaging. 

You waited patiently for him as your mind reminisced the last time you were here.

His tear stained eyes looking into yours as he hugged you tightly, promising to stay in touch. Then he turned around and left, looking back at you a few times as you couldn’t bear to watch him go.

You dreamt about it a few times, and times where you’d run after him and not let him go, or where he’d stop, turn around and come back to you, choosing not to go. Then you’d wake up.

Now, it was really happening. You would watch him walk out the gates of the airport, not into them. He wouldn’t disappear into the crowd, but he’d be running towards you. Hopefully.

You glanced up at the flight board.

LANDED

You pushed yourself up from leaning on the wall, straightening your posture, taking a deep breath as you waited behind the railings near the exit of the arrival hall. The minutes crept by slowly, your eyes kept darting around, constantly fiddling with your fingers. 

This was real. You were about to see Lando again, after who knows how many years.

Your foot tapped against the marbled floor incessantly, and you felt your fingers tangling and untangling themselves as a large crowd of people flooded into the arrival hall. You felt your breathing grow shaky as the nervousness engulfed your beating heart.

With their luggages, people exited the arrival hall, running up to their family, giving them tight hugs, or those being gifted with flowers. You glanced over at them, smiling slightly at the pure joy that filled the area. As the seconds slowly crawled by, your heart rate increased, thumping hard against your ribcage, you could feel the vibrations around your body. 

Why were you even nervous? You told yourself and closed your eyes, taking constant breaths in and out.

You opened your eyes slowly.

And there he was, in all his glory.

Lando Norris.

Lando’s curls had definitely gotten more curlier, and he grew himself a stubble, which you vividly remember him always being unable to. His face had grown more mature since the last time. 

However, his eyes were still that same brown-blue glistening.

He looked over at you, finally noticing you as you zoned out just looking at him. He smiled, and made a subtle wave. He held his luggage in one hand, having a duffle bag strapped around the handles, and in his other was a black hoodie.

You snapped out of your daze and waved back at him. He picked up his walking speed, rolling his luggage over to the exit of the arrival hall, before snaking around the railing. He wasn’t running, he was brisk walking over to you.

And now you two, were once again, face to face. It would never hurt less, just remembering the last time they were doing this, Lando would be turning away and walking off, disappearing for the next decade or so.

But that was last time. This was now.

Lando placed the hoodie onto the top of the duffle bag, opening his arms slightly. You stood there for a while, your eyes trailing all over Lando.

Then you released your emotions, you felt the tears slowly spill out as you sprinted into his arms, embracing him tightly. Your arms clasped around his body, keeping him in your embrace. You felt his arms slowly come around your body as well as he hugged you back.

You could hear some ‘aww’s in the background of it all but nothing mattered more than this. 

It was years upon years of missing him, and now you had him. It took you two a few long long seconds before you pulled away from him, wiping away the remaining tears on your face. It was clear he cried a little too as he used the sleeve of his shirt to wipe his face.

“Hi.” Lando said after a deep breath. His voice felt so much deeper, so much more different than last time. Only now do you catch his necklace, he remembered, he kept it with him, he’s wearing it. 

Then once again, it felt like nothing ever stood between you two, like the sky could fall and you two would still stand with each other.

“Lando…” You said, trying to sound confident but your voice faltered slightly.

You hand him the packet of cookies and he receives them with visible marvel. His hands felt soft against yours as he took the packet of cookies, placing them in his duffle bag. 

“Well uh…thanks.” Lando said, rubbing the back of his neck, “My hotel isn’t ready for a few hours.”

“We can talk later.” You blurted, “We could eat first.”

He nodded.

The cab ride was silent, too silent for your liking. It made you think again, deeper this time. You genuinely missed Lando, sure you “moved on” but you could never replace Lando. You reminisced again, the same recurring dream you had for the first few months, when you didn’t know if you could see Lando again. The same nightmare which haunted you when you two stopped talking for good.

Lando shuffled closer to you, which pulled you out of your thoughts. He yawned and looked at you, flashing a really subtle smile, running his hand through his curly hair.

He looked at you knowingly, like he knew all your thoughts right now. You smile back, hoping it doesn’t come off as shaky and uncertain. His head slowly falls down towards your shoulder, and you don’t stop him.

His head is now resting comfortably, hopefully, on your shoulder as he shifts even closer to you. You catch a glimpse at his face, it’s peaceful, like nothing in the world could hurt him, like when you two were kids. His breathing is constant, the rise and fall of his chest is tranquil. 

—

As both of you wait outside the restaurant, Lando says, “Actually, I’m not hungry.” 

You turn to look at him.

“Could we maybe just… take a walk.” Lando suggests.

You shrug, you didn’t mind anything. 

“With all your luggage?” You ask.

“Yea, I don’t really mind.” He says.

“Sure.” You reply.

Both of you walk away from the restaurant, walking in some general direction. 

And now, in the endless constant motion of the world, it gave both of you a moment, a moment to talk.

He takes a deep breath, fingers tapping on the handle of his luggage, “Sorry.” His voice softens.

You nod, knowing you couldn’t postpone this for much longer.

“I missed you.” You say after a pause, “I missed you a lot.”

Lando’s head drops as he wipes away what seems like tears.

“I know…” He says, his voice shaky, “I shouldn’t have-”

This was a really bad place to have a breakdown, you tell yourself, even though you felt the growing urge in your body to just let everything loose.

“I can’t stop thinking about how horrible it was.” Lando says, clearly he is letting himself loose, “I didn’t mean to lose contact with you, I know that must’ve hurt you.”

You nod again, not really sure if you should respond to him.

“It’s been haunting.” He says, “I’m sorry.”

“I shouldn’t… no, I should never have left you alone.” He says, “I made all these stupid promises to you which I never bothered keeping and… and it just… you didn’t deserve any of that.”

Lando’s hands are slowly gripping harder and harder onto the necklace around his neck. 

“You basically grew up with me and… I shouldn’t have let anything make me forget that.” He takes a deep breath, “But I did, and I know I hurt you.”

You feel something warm bubbling in your body. It was so stupid, how all you needed was this moment, and it happened on a sidewalk of a randomly busy road. You shut your eyes and take it all in.

“And I know it took me too long to realise that, and I’m sorry that it took me that long.” He says, his voice shaking as time went on, “I’m here now, and please… let me fix it.”

The silence for a few seconds prompts you to speak up.

You gently hold the hand that was gripping his necklace. You feel him loosen his grip.

“You know, when we were still kids, you used to tell me how you’d take over the world and all that…”

Lando’s face darkens as he nods.

“And guess what,” You smile slightly, “You did exactly that, and I’m so… so… proud of you, and nothing will ever come between that.”

Tears brim in Lando's eyes and you don’t know how much longer you’ll last.

“I couldn’t ask for anything better for you.”

Lando slowly falls into your embrace once again, you catch him and tightly hold onto him.

Between sobs, he says, “Please… please I’m sorry, I’ll fix everything.”

You gently pat his back, “You don’t have to fix anything.”

Sure you were bitter about him leaving you alone, but this was Lando, this was the same kid at the playground, and you would never forget that.

Because at the end of the day, you weren’t mad at Lando, you never were, you just missed him. You missed knowing that Lando would be there for you, and that he would stay with you.

You spent all those years just wishing on something new, wondering where it all went wrong and where you went wrong. How all of this fits into the grand scheme of things in your endless dramatic cycle of your life.

The closure was here.

Lando kept holding onto you tightly.

“I promise.” He says, “For real this time.”

For real. 

Years of unfinished stories and failing to find closure in yourself and here it was, presenting itself in the open. You hug him back, and sob softly. You couldn’t care less about what anyone else passing by was thinking. This was just about you and Lando.

“I think we should go somewhere.” You say.

He looks at you and he knows.

—

You sat on the ground next to him, the wooden base of the slide had been repainted. He leaned against you. 

Those years which felt magnified because of your unhealed wounds suddenly felt so small. Only there to serve as a point in time to bring both of you closer to each other.

“I found no one. It was lonely out there.” Lando admits, “No one came close, I was always trying to find something new, something fresh, but everything led me back to…”

He fiddles with his necklace.

“You.”

You feel everything coming into place, like the grey skies overlooking your life were finally moving over, letting the sun peek out from behind them. You closed your eyes and looked up into the sky. 

This was it. This was everything. This was all you asked for.

Your recurring nightmare became insignificant. It didn’t scare you anymore.

You shifted yourself so you were lying on the floor, which was probably dirty but it didn’t matter. Lando positioned his head so it was laying on your chest, so he felt the restful rise and fall of your breathing, and you felt… at peace, for once.

“I’ve been waiting...” You say, unable to finish your sentence as your voice cracks.

“And I won’t let you go, ever again.” 

— — —

And he was right. He never let go.

You and Lando spent the weekend, which felt like forever, to fix it. Lando spent it all to fix every scar, heal every wound and nurse every bruise he ever inflicted. He held onto you and never dropped you once, keeping his promise.

Lando took you out the whole weekend, rediscovering your stories, and your childhood. He kept you close, never leaving you. He rewrote the haunting past, making sure he never messed up this time.

The once unfinished chapter that stood high above you, the once daunting task was now closing, the final line was being written in the darkness of the years left alone. The emotional baggage was dropped in the past and the pages of your story stopped burning up. 

Lando was here now.

You brought him out in the evening, taking him to his favourite spot, by the edge of a hill overlooking the city. You sat there with him, holding some Chinese takeout.

“You forgive me?” He asks.

“Yes.” You reply, “I do.”

“I…” Lando hesitates, “Yea… that’s great.” His voice is unusually soft.

“You know…” You inhale and exhale deeply, “I remember the night after I realised you weren’t going to text back.”

Lando stiffens up, “Sorry.” He mutters.

“It’s okay now…” You say before continuing, “I went to the playground and stood there while it rained, and wondered what I did wrong.”

You don’t know whether right now was a good time for this but you started so you had to finish.

“Nothing. You did nothing wrong.” Lando says as he looks into your eyes, “It was all me who messed up.”

You pat his shoulder.

“Yea… but back then, I felt like I didn’t hold onto you enough, didn’t work hard enough for you to stay. So… that was it for me.” You admit, “I wasn’t ready to lose you so I cried that night, alone.”

You feel Lando’s guilt from a mile away.

“But-” You lean backward, supporting yourself with your elbows, “today, when we went to the playground, I think we fixed that.”

Lando’s face brightens up as he lifts his head. He fixed something.

“I think… you…” You couldn’t find the words, “You’re back.”

“I am.” Lando says, “And I’ll fix it all.”

In the night sky, you laid down next to him, on the ground. The hurting stopped, all that stopped today, in that playground where you two grew up, where you went to all those dark days, and where you left all the emotional baggage.

The skies illuminated the sky and reflected off Lando’s eyes. It was beautiful, he was beautiful. Under the bright sky and the night breeze, Lando was at peace with himself. So were you.

You scooted closer to him and he laid his head in your embrace, both of you laid in the grass. And right there was where everything felt alright, like nothing would change again. Just like when they were children.

Just like last time.

“I love you.”

—

The time had to come eventually. You were back at the airport.

You hugged him tightly once again, this moment felt no better than the last. The hug is laced with rewritten years of friendships and the closure of every dark page in your stories, to be happier, to be better. It was for everything and every minute you two lost now filled in with the memories of this weekend. This closure. He sobs on your shoulder, he never wants to let go.

But he has to. Both of you take a step back. 

“If it helps you.” You say, “You fixed it.”

Lando wipes the tears away, giving you one of the purest smiles you think you’ll ever see in your life.

“And for you…” He says, “You’ll always be here.” He points to his heart.

“I’ll never let you hurt again.”

You smile, embracing him again.

As he’s about to leave, you take the necklace off and hand it to him. He look at it, and hastily takes his one off, swapping your necklaces.

“To rewritten love.” You say.

He nods and puts the necklace on. 

“I’ll see you around.” His voice cracks a little.

“Promise?”

He tears up again, “Yes… Yes I promise.”

You look at his sparkly brown-blue eyes again, coming to peace with everything. As he enters the boarding gates, he looks back at you again, smiling slightly at you as he waves. You wave back, holding onto the necklace again.

He walks off, disappearing into the crowd once again but it doesn’t feel empty this time. It’s closure, it’s settlement, it’s resolution. You watch his plane take off, hearing the roar of the engine before it fades into nothing.

It was a promise.

A promise that you would keep, even as you moved out of this city, to another place. A promise that he would keep even as he reached greater heights.

Because a promise was made and a promise will be kept.

END.

i hope this hit expectations, i dont think there will be a part 3 lol

[nickfowlerrr]

with you

part one

pairing: bucky barnes x curvy!reader

warnings: 18+ only. established relationship from everybody talks - but can be read as a standalone! feelings of loneliness. some angst. unprotected sex. squirting. use of pet names (sweetheart, doll, baby). dirty talk. heaps and heaps of fluff. if something needs to be tagged, pls lmk!

words: just about 8.5k

notes: a huge thank you to @whatever-lmaoo for beta-ing for me yet again! i appreciate you so much!! and i know, i know, a little late for a halloween fic- but i guess it’s okay bc this isn’t really all that halloweeney lol. honestly a little more personal than usual but i hope you all enjoy it anyway. please let me know what you think and thank you in advance for taking the time to read! 🩵

You’re pushing the basket, weaving your way through the aisles full of other semi last minute shoppers in search of their own Halloween costumes. You can’t get past a family spread out in the middle of the aisle as they contemplate their options aloud, no concern for the other people around them trying to shop. You suppress your eye roll but not the sigh of slight annoyance as you back up and move to the next aisle over, thankfully empty.

There aren’t many options here, but maybe something will give you an idea of what to dress up as. A couple minutes pass as you peruse the random assortment of costume accessories. Your mind is fully in idea mode as you try to piece something wearable together in your mind… you have that black maxi dress hanging in your closet, that could probably work as a good base.

You’re not paying attention to your surroundings as you nudge the basket further down the aisle while you examine two different pairs of long black gloves in your hands and take a step down the aisle to see the witch hats.

But do you really wanna be a witch? You purse your lips in thought before tossing the sets of gloves back into the big green cauldron you got them from. Your eyes linger on the witch section as you grasp the handle of the cart and start to push.

Before you set your head straight, you’re stopped in your path as you find yourself crashing into something. Oh gosh…

Someone.

Your apology is sputtering out past your lips before you can even turn to see the injured party, but once you do, and your eyes meet with sparkling blues, you stop your fumbling and sigh heavily in your relief.

“Oh, thank god,” you breathe as your shoulders relax. “I thought I actually hit someone.”

“Am I not someone?” Bucky scoffs with a hint of a smile on his lips.

“No, you are,” you assure him as you leave the basket and walk toward him, “but you’re my someone, so it’s okay and you have to forgive me.”

“Oh, I see,” he nods, eyeing you in your approach. You double check the aisle is still clear before kissing him, soft and fleeting.

“Did you find it?”

“Out of stock,” he frowns.

“Damn. We’ve looked everywhere, what now?”

“I don’t think ghosts lining the grass are gonna do much more than the full out display you’ve already set up, sweetheart. I think we’ll be okay,” he laughs.

“Yeah,” you sigh, a soft pout still on your lips, “you’re right. I just…”, a tight, heavy sigh leaves you as you shake your head, trailing off.

Bucky steps closer, his hand coming to rest on your waist, squeezing lightly.

“I know,” he says, softly.

You force a smile, taking his hand to hold in yours. “Alright, well, we got the candy and the groceries and the toothpaste,” you list aloud, trying to think if you’re forgetting anything.

“Toilet paper,” Bucky supplies, pushing the cart backwards before turning it to push it himself.

“Toilet paper! Who needs a list when I have you,” you lean into him as you walk before heading to the aisle ahead of him.

—

“Sweetheart?” Bucky calls from the kitchen as you wipe at the stray tear falling down your cheek. You blow your nose gently and close out of the app.

Another post of fall fun your nieces are having, and right below it another post from another costume party you weren’t invited to.

Don't let it get to you, you chide yourself. It's just the fomo sinking in. Nothing more.

You wipe at your cheeks before grabbing the door handle, calling down the stairs, "I'm coming!"

You make your way down the steps and are met at the bottom with Bucky, smiling like a schoolboy.

In his hands he holds a singular Halloween decoration.

"It's not light up ghosts, but,"

"It's perfect," you cut him off, smiling softly as you take the familiar ghost cutout from his hands.

You can't help but grin at the memory of your first Halloween with Bucky. Your first date. First meeting! God, it's been a whirlwind of a year.

Your eyes flicker to his and you immediately meet his stunning gaze; his already set on you.

"Just like you," he simpers.

You groan in jest, setting the cutout to rest along the stairs before you wrap your arms around him, leaning into his warm, solid hold. You sigh as he rubs your back comfortingly.

"Hey," he calls gently, causing you to pick up your head to look at him. "Talk to me. Please," he adds as your pout grows. "You've been off all week, what's going on?"

Your gaze drops to his chest as your arms drop from around him. He doesn't let you slip away as he takes your hand in his and leads you to the couch, pushing you down before he follows suit, wasting no time in getting you back in his hold once you're both comfortable. You let your head rest on his chest as he holds you.

"I miss my family," you say simply with a shrug.

He waits for more, but when he realizes you're done talking, he speaks himself.

"You've been missing them since we moved here," he presses, "I know it's not just that."

You mindlessly play with the buttons on his shirt, not able to make eye contact right now.

You swallow hard.

You know the truth, and you know Bucky deserves to know what you're thinking. After all, he did uproot his entire life for you after only knowing you five months...

"I just...I don't know."

You glance up at him, his eyes soft and gaze patient.

"I... What if this was just a huge mistake?" You ask. "Moving here. Just another stupid, selfish idea that I'm gonna regret by next year."

"Living your life away from your family isn't stupid or selfish," he says, no judgement in his soothing voice. "And, you know what we talked about before we moved here. No regrets. And if you decide you want to go back,"

"We go back," you nod. "I know."

"Well," he starts, "do you?"

"No," you answer right away. It's the truth. You don't. But still, that fear. The unknown, it nips at you. What if? "I knew this wasn't gonna be easy, but," you sigh, "what if I just don't belong here?"

His brows furrow, "Why wouldn't you?"

"It's been, what, seven months? And what do I have to show for it? And it's not just work-" you stop yourself before you start to rambling, taking a deep breath. "I haven't even made a single friend yet. All those sets and events and all those people I've met, and I just. I haven't fit in anywhere. No one...likes me," you trail off so quietly, not really wanting him to hear.

"Sweetheart, that is not true."

"You don't know that, Buck,"

"Oh, and you do?"

"I do. That gig on Monday," you stammer, embarrassed, "it's stupid," you try to brush off, not wanting to have to explain the memory.

He doesn't have to say a word with the look on his face.

You sigh, but continue.

"We were in between takes and everyone was talking, like, to each other in a group. And I was there, but like, I wasn't there. I was standing with everyone else and trying to be...engaging. But," you purse your lips as the embarrassment burns you anew. "And, they were talking about their plans for Halloween, and this girl said she was throwing a party, and she invited everyone, asked for their numbers so she could send them the information, and she got everyone's number. Except for mine. And I was just standing there, like, probably looking so lame," you try to laugh as your eyes sting, "pretending like I didn't notice, nonchalant," you breathe tightly, pulling at a loose thread on the little V of his henley.

"I followed some of the other people online for like, 'connections', ya know, for future work, and one of them posted pictures from the party, and like, everybody from that set was there. And it looked like so much fun. And, you know I don't even like parties," you throw out, "but...why wasn't I invited? Why," you pause, biting your tongue, "why didn't they like me?"

"Baby," Bucky coos, his touch featherlight and yet so stabilizing, "those are just a few people,"

"That wasn't an isolated incident, Bucky. That has been my entire life. I try not to let it bother me, but I try. So hard, I try to be...normal. Likeable. Friendly. And no matter what I do, or how well I think I play the part, I'm just a mess of introversion and social anxiety."

You can see how badly he wants to interrupt you and reassure you of your so-called perfection, but he doesn't. He lets you talk; he wants to hear you.

"You know how many parties I was invited to in school?" you ask rhetorically. "Not a single one. And the people I thought were my friends wer-" you shake your head. "I'd always try to console myself with the thought that it would get better as I got older, but I think...I think it actually hurts more now than it ever did back then. The nerds were friends with the nerds, and the popular kids were friends with the popular kids, and everybody had their group. But even in my 'group', I was just kinda there. Not alone, but alone. Fading into the background. Into the gray."

You sit in quiet for a long moment before continuing.

"But then I'd get home. And I'd be with my sisters, and all of a sudden I wasn't alone. And I was, like, really me. For forever, they were the only people who ever really, truly saw me. Who I was comfortable enough with to be myself," you turn into Bucky further, your hand still on his chest.

"Then I met you," you smile. "And I don't know how or why, but you see me."

"In technicolor," he whispers as he lets his knuckles brush your cheek. You close your eyes at his soft touch, melting further into him.

"I've just been feeling excluded, and then I start missing my sisters even more, and you know I love you, so much, but this job is just constant rejection and it all just piles on and I keep trying to get by without having to dwell on it all, but I know I can't keep doing that. I know I want to be here. And I can do this. It just, gets hard sometimes. And I've been getting in my head. And I'm sorry I haven't talked about it sooner. I don't want it to seem like I regret moving here, and I really don't want it to seem like I'm not so grateful that you're here with me. That you came all this way for me. It means the world; you mean the world to me."

"The feeling is mutual," Bucky simpers, the corner of his lips turning up as he watches you, his hand aimlessly wandering up and down your side. "I'd go anywhere with you, sweetheart. I know it's not the same, but for what it's worth, I like you. I'd want you at every party."

You smile at him as he cuddles you and can't help the fit of laughter that erupts from you as he squeezes you, nuzzling into your neck and peppering kisses along your delicate skin.

You catch your breath as he finally lets up and pulls away, only to lean his face closer to yours, kissing you softly.

"I'm really proud of you, you know. You're a lot stronger, and a lot braver than you give yourself credit for. And anyone would be lucky to be able to have you in their life, let alone to call you their friend. As your best friend, I should know," he adds playfully.

"You're my best friend?"

"And you're mine," he nods, eyes gleaming with that look that sends butterflies a flight in your tummy. Your eyes flick down to his lips for less than a second before he's kissing you again; just as soft, and twice as sweet.

"I love you," he murmurs.

"Iloveyou," you mumble back, just a little dumb from the depth of his kiss. You give yourselves a moment in your shared embrace before you speak again. "Okay," you sigh, "we gotta finish the yard so I can facetime the girls before they head out for trick or treating."

Bucky rolls off the couch before pulling you up after him as you extend your arm expectantly.

You’re surprised as Bucky’s hold doesn’t let up and he tugs you into him. You stare at him, eyes wide and curious.

“I’m sorry you’ve been feeling bad lately. Whatever you wanna do tonight, and tomorrow,” he emphasizes as you smile demurely, “you got it.”

“Because that wasn’t gonna happen anyway?” You tease, earning a smirk from him as you reach for his hand to drag him to the front of the house.

You pause in your path and spin to go grab your favorite little ghost decoration from the steps.

“I know exactly where this is going.”

—

The familiar ring of the Facetime call has you growing more and more giddy with anticipation as you wait your sister's answer.

But the longer you wait, the more fallen your smile becomes.

Your FaceTime isn't answered, but not too long after, your phone dings with a text.

The girls went trick or treating early, no connection. Sorry! Try to call you back later. But send pics of the yard whenever! We need to see!

You deflate at the news. You guys had planned this, they knew how excited you were to show the girls the house yourself - or as close as you could get. Stuff happens, and by now you've come to accept that when it comes to kids, plans rarely ever play out the way you'd like. But still.

You sigh as Bucky watches you intently, noticing your shift in mood instantly. You can already see how the rest of the night will go. They'll get back from trick or treating and try to call, but you'll inevitably miss it, and once you do get another moment to call back, the girls will already be asleep. Pics will be it.

And that's...okay. You're disappointed, of course, but really, it's okay. You’re sure had you not talked to Bucky about how you’d been feeling lately, you’d be in tears right about now. But having gotten some of your frustration and anxiety out has helped. Just being around him has helped. You didn’t realize before that you’d been in and out of the house all week with classes and work and now that you think about it, this is the first day you’ve been able to spend actual time with Bucky, too. No wonder you were feeling so isolated.

"Can't talk right now?" Bucky asks as he steps closer to you in the front yard.

"Nope," you pop the 'p'. "Trick or treating early. I'm just gonna send 'em some pictures I guess."

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," he tries to comfort you, pulling you into his side as you both look on at the Halloween decorations littering the yard. "I know you wanted to share it with them."

"'S'okay," you smile a small smile, leaning into him. "I still had fun doing this with you. Thank you for your assistance," you add, fluttering your gaze up to meet his.

"Anytime. Anything to see that smile,” he adds, leaning in to place a quick kiss on your cheek, sending warmth through you at the affection.

“Guess we should get the candy ready,” you muse.

“And your costume on.”

“I didn’t pick anything,” you frown. “I don’t really feel like dressing up anyway. Besides,” you turn into him, “all the kids, and moms, are coming to see you,” you nudge him with a smirk on your lips.

He shakes his head, trying to fight his blush as he rolls his eyes at you. “You’re never gonna let me live that down, are you?”

You laugh at the memory of your first week here; everyday was a new woman coming over under the guise of welcoming the new neighbors to the neighborhood. You knew after the second platter of unexpected cookies that word was spreading fast about a certain super soldier taking up residence in their lovely - and expensive - neighborhood; you had sworn to Bucky you didn’t need to move into a place so big, and a part of you was worried you wouldn’t be able to pull your weight financially if you did, but he swore he would prefer it. You didn’t necessarily believe that was his only reason for wanting to spend more on a nicer place, but how could you argue? Especially after he made it clear that he wouldn’t be accepting any money from you for rent. He let you connect your card for the monthly water bill, but that has been it. And you’re absolutely not complaining! But you don’t know you ever imagined this kind of thing would happen.

Until the very day you moved in, you were constantly thinking you were dreaming. But when you noticed the watchful eyes of the neighbors as you brought your boxes in, you realized it couldn’t be.

This was real.

You couldn’t blame their curiosity, but you could blame their forwardness. The way they fawned over Bucky in front of you - all the while ignoring your eye when they’d come over to introduce themselves - was both irksome and, kind of funny.

You only really started to get annoyed when you noticed how uncomfortable it was making Bucky. At the first sign of his discomfort, you found yourself ushering the door shut with a new, outlandish lie every time. But always thanking them for their treats, of course, as you’d close the door.

It’s been almost seven months since you moved in, and the fascination with Bucky has waned slightly, but has yet to fade completely.

“Never,” you laugh. “But it’s not like it’s a bad thing. You, my love," you take his face in your hands, his stubble rough against your palms, "are very, very handsome,” you murmur. “And mysterious, and brooding to the outside eye. It’s hard to ignore you. You're like a magnet of intrigue. It's sexy.”

“Sexy?” He huffs. “I’m not brooding.”

You scoff, “Hah, I wish you could see your face right now,” you say disbelieving; the irony of his words obvious as the furrow of his brows and his frown cause your lips to twitch in a soft smirk.

He fixes his face at your laugh, eyeing you with that ever familiar glimmer of growing want. His hands cover yours as he walks you back, closer to the house.

"So, you think I'm sexy?" he speaks lowly, his grip on you firm as he slides your hands from his face to his chest, down his thick torso as you watch him - your eyes growing heavy as you watch him. It's like you're in a trance.

Your back suddenly hits the front door and you're snapped out of your state, surprised by the contact and even more by the distance you've walked in what felt like a second.

"Yes," you utter after a second, Bucky pressing closer. "I do." Your fingers flex against his abdomen as he leans into you. His nose brushes yours as he teases you with the prospect of his kiss until the door unexpectedly opens behind you; Bucky having turned the knob with his metal hand from around you.

You gasp at the loss of contact with the door, inching back despite yourself - worrying for a split second you were about to find yourself on your ass. But in the same instant, Bucky's hands are around you, keeping you in place.

"I got you," he reassures you; voice deeper now than it was a second ago.

You can only nod as you’re caught once again in his crystal blue gaze.

You really should expect it when he picks you up, but you gasp anyway at his easy display of strength when he takes you off your feet and carries you inside.

“It’s a good thing you don’t have a costume, actually,” he says as he walks past the couch toward the stairs. “No need for you to be dressed.”

You nearly scream as Bucky bounds up the steps, holding you securely with a grin plastered on his face as you cling to him. Not a second later he’s walking you into the bedroom and setting you down carefully to sit on the bed.

“If we’re handing out candy, I’m gonna need to be dressed,” you point out the obvious, trying your best to not look so flustered as he stands in front of you. Tall, strong, and imposing; his eyes darkened as he holds your gaze. You take in a nervous breath as you look up at him and he takes a step closer. You lean back on your arms and wait for his next move.

Bucky slows gets to his knees before you and just as he reaches for your hips to pull you closer to him - there’s a knock on the front door.

He squeezes his eyes shut in his temporary disappointment, grimacing before he shoots up. “I knew that was gonna happen,” he sighs, earning a breathy laugh from you.

“Already got a better turnout than last year,” you offer despite your own momentary disappointment.

He shakes his head with a soft smile as he takes you in. “Nothing could ever beat the turnout last year,” he says thoughtfully, “not by a long shot.”

You smile softly at his meaning as he turns to head back downstairs and get the door.

You hear him open the kitchen cabinet where the candy bars are and then hear his ‘Happy Halloween’ greeting. By the sounds of it, there must be a group or two of trick or treaters already out there.

You ponder your options for a quick second before deciding to go with your gut. You know he won’t mind having to get the door himself tonight for all the trick or treaters - especially if you’re not dressed to do so yourself.

You open the middle drawer of your dresser and spot the red lingerie set instantly. It is your anniversary after all…

You and Bucky agreed to call November 1st your anniversary, just for celebration sake, but you know the truth.

Your thoughts catch up with you as you quickly strip and mindlessly slide on the lacy underwear and bra.

Your anniversary. Duh! You wondered why you hadn’t seen much of Bucky this week! He’s usually so attentive and when he’s not working on his bike or car or catching up on the many items of his list to read/watch/listen to, he’s wrapped up in you. Retiree life has been good to him, and you’ve never had to vie for his attention or affection. This week though, he has clearly been preoccupied. And now you realize why. He’s up to something…

You drag the stockings up your legs and pray they stay up your thick thighs for long enough as you hear the door downstairs shut. You curse under your breath but are quickly saved by another knock at the door before Bucky even heads back up the steps. You forget looking for the straps that connect the faux garter to the underwear and head for the bathroom to make sure you don’t look insane.

You fix your hair a bit, but the worn look suits the occasion and the slightly smudged liner adds to the sex appeal. You adjust the bra strap on your shoulder and a flicker of a smile forms on your lips. You look good. A renewed sense of giddy finds you as you spin to the door and walk back into the room. You listen for Bucky downstairs and are satisfied as you hear the last “thank you!” from the kids at the door.

You walk out into the hall and stop at the top of the staircase. You can see Bucky from where you stand and he’s able to see you from downstairs, too. You put a hand on the banister, posing just a bit as you wait patiently for him to turn around. You watch as he sets the bowl on the entryway table and turns quickly to get back upstairs.

He stops dead in his tracks the second he spots you. His mouth parting as he stares at your chest, slowly letting his eyes rove over your scantily clad curves and down your legs before he looks back up and meets your wanton gaze. The look of faux innocence playing on your face only riling him up more.

It feels like a play of cat and mouse as you stand at the top of the stairs and he stands at the bottom. His gaze heated, eyes hungry.

“You coming back up or should I meet you down there?” you ask demurely.

He’s cut off from answering you with a new knock on the door. He nearly growls and you could laugh at how differently his experience with trick or treaters - or lack there of - was last year.

Bucky turns back to get the door, putting on a smile as he greets the new group of kids and lets them choose what candy bar they’d like. For his part, he really is happy the neighborhood kids aren’t scared of him here! But at the same time, it’s technically his anniversary; and the love of his life is dressed in nothing more than his favorite lingerie, waiting for him so fucking prettily right up those stairs.

He doesn’t think much before making his decision. The last kid makes their choice and the group is on their way as he shuts the door. He heads into the kitchen, feeling you watch him quizzically. He tears a piece of paper off of the notepad on the counter and gets a sharpie from the kitchen drawer.

PLEASE TAKE ONE

He writes it in all caps and heads back to the door.

You lean more onto the banister to see what he’s doing from where you stand. You raise a brow as he moves the entryway table closer to the door before he opens it and sets it outside with the candy bowl sitting on top of it. That’s one way to do it, you think with a smile tugging at your lips.

Bucky slips the piece of paper under the edge of the bowl so it’s visible and then comes right back inside. He’s coming up the stairs within seconds and heading right for you.

You laugh in surprise as Bucky grabs you by the waist, pulling you close to him. His eyes are heavy as his hands squeeze you, wandering your curves. You almost moan when he grabs your ass, pulling you into him fully as you brace against his solid chest.

You’ll never get over how good it feels to be felt by him. His strength evident in his every touch, and yet so soft as he caresses you. His lips ghost your cheek and your ear as he breathes you in and you arch into him, wanting - needing more.

His fingers begin to play with the lace of your bra band, tickling you as he does. “My favorite,” he husks lowly, kissing your neck and sending a shiver through you as you pull at his shirt. “Special occasion?” he asks with a smirk.

Your hands find the waist of his pants, “None that I can think of,” you pretend to ponder.

You moan into him as Bucky suddenly kisses you hard. What you expect to be hot and fervent slows to something deeper and more intimate as you melt into him.

You inevitably have to pull away for air after a bit and murmur against his lips as he holds you, “Oh, right,” you breathe, “we have our anniversary.”

“Thought you wanted to call it tomorrow,” he smiles.

You lick your lip lightly with a shrug, “Couldn’t wait.”

His answer is another searing kiss as he walks you back toward the room. You’re pushed onto the bed and find yourself in the same position you were earlier, leaning back on your hands as you watch Bucky watching you.

He reaches down with one hand and undoes his belt effortlessly, popping his button and sliding down the zipper before he pulls his shirt over his head and tosses it aside, kicking off his boots right after. His pants are next before he closes in on you, crawling on top of you as you lay back on the bed, eyes still locked and dark with your mutual desire.

His hands trail from your hips, up the curve of your waist as he positions himself between your spread thighs.

“You’re so perfect,” he murmurs, more to himself than to you as he lets his eyes wander your body once more. He leans down and earns a breathy gasp from you as he starts placing soft kisses down your neck, your chest, over the tops of your breasts before he takes hold of the clasp of the bra sitting on your sternum.

He undoes it easy and pushes the cups to the side, revealing you to him. You sit up a bit to shimmy out of the garment and throw it off the bed. His large hands hold your breasts and he plays with you, squeezing and running his thumbs over your already peaked nipples - earning a pathetic mewl from you at the sensation it send through you. His lips wrap around your tit, tongue swirling around your sensitive nipple as he sucks at you, sending your eyes back and your hands grasping his grown out hair. Your lips parting in a silent gasp.

He licks and sucks at your tit, big hand playing with the other until he switches his attentions. All the while, your moans and tugs at his hair have him growing impossibly harder as his cock strains against his briefs.

He mindlessly grinds his hips against you and you whimper. “Please, Bucky,” you whine, trying to roll your hips against him in turn.

He sucks a little more on your tit before he moves down your body, leaving a trail of kisses in his wake. You’re partly surprised he listened to your ambiguous plea without teasing you just a little longer, but as his fingers pull at the band of your underwear, you realize he’s just as desperate as you.

It has been a long week; the longest you’ve gone without each other in the year you’ve been together.

Bucky pulls away to rid himself of his briefs, his thick cock hard and angry. You can practically feel your mouth salivate as the slickness between your thighs grows. Fuck, he’s perfect.

“Need it, Buck. Need you,” you plead, spreading your thighs even further as he leans back into you.

“I know, sweetheart,” he teases his cock head along your slit, “gonna give it to you, baby. Gonna give you what you need,” he promises.

He lines himself up to your entrance, pushing his tip just inside of you as you moan on a heavy breath.

You hum your pleasure, a delighted smile gracing your lips as he slowly pushes further in; his deep, heady breaths turning you on even more as his hands grip your hips.

“Feel good, doll?” He husks. “You’re squeezin’ me so tight,” he grunts. “Perfect fuckin fit,” he grits through his clenched jaw as he fucks you, his thickness stretching you with every thrust of his cock. Your walls clench his length as you moan - the feeling of being full of him, of his heavy balls slapping against your skin, the way his dirty words always set you off more than you’d ever expect… This is pure fucking heaven. You can’t help yourself. It's not very long before you find yourself already feeling so dangerously close to your undoing.

“Like you were made for me,” he growls, “made to take my fat fuckin cock just. like. this.” He punctuates each of his last few words with a hard thrust, hitting so deep you swear you’re seeing stars. You can do nothing but babble your agreement as your hands wander his body, one wandering back into the dark strands of his hair.

As much as you love holding him, you know how much he likes the feeling of you tugging at his growing strands, too; so you do just that.

His lips brush along your jaw as you tilt your head for him. His stubble tickling you in the best way.

“Never gonna get over how fucking good you feel wrapped around me. How goddamn beautiful you look under me. Fucked out and cock drunk the minute I get my dick inside your tight little pussy. Always so fucking wet for me, desperate for it.”

You swear you’re on the verge of tears as the coil in your tummy tightens more and more with his every word. Your legs are around him as he rolls his hips into you, his cock brushing all the right spots as he finds your lips. You’re moaning into his hot mouth as he kisses you. In sharp contrast to his words, it’s soft and sweet, his nose rubbing against yours as he moves his tongue expertly. His teeth gently nip at your lips as he pulls his face away for a second before pressing his forehead to yours. His hands are tight on your hips as he tries to control himself from getting carried away. A week is just too long and you’re both already reaching closer and closer to your ends.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum,” he groans, sounding almost pained as his eyes squeeze shut, his thrusts growing the slightest bit erratic as you feel him tense above you.

“Come inside me,” you beg on a whimper. “Please, please,” you mewl. “Wanna feel you. Need it.”

The growl of curses that leave him as he fucks you deeper have your muscles tensing, your velvety walls clenching down around his length as the hair on his pelvis stimulates your sensitive clit with every roll of his hips. You’re a mess of moans and heady gasps as you cling to him, your body tight in the impossibly building pleasure as your toes curl and that coil finally snaps; white hot heat and sparks of overwhelming pleasure taking over you as you cum.

“Fuck,” Bucky moans, “that’s it, baby. So fuckin’ good. Look at you, so pretty coming for me,” he kisses you sloppily as your skin burns and your pussy flutters.

Your orgasm seems never ending as Bucky works you through it. His hands grasp at you, feeling your softness and bringing him closer to his own orgasm as your walls squeeze his cock while you cum.

His lips press to yours as he swallows your wanton sounds, kissing you hotly before licking into your mouth sensually. He keeps one hand on your hip to hold you where he needs you and brings the other to hold your face. He can’t get enough of your lips, your kiss, your taste. All the while rocking his hips into yours, his cock moving in and out of your slick, tight hole.

The pulsing of your sensitive walls around his length finally have him cumming hard. His seed hot and thick, spurting along your walls as he fills you up. Your name is both a curse and a prayer as it falls from his lips amidst sweet praises and filthy words. You’re panting and smiling through the growing overstimulation as Bucky’s thrusts slow but don’t completely stop just yet. His thumb brushes your cheek as he presses his forehead to yours again, his brilliant blue eyes glued to you before he leans in to brush his lips against yours.

You kiss him back, holding him to you with a hand still in his hair. Your kiss grows deeper as he thrust just once or twice more before stilling; his lips so soft as he slowly pulls away, breathing heavily.

He hisses so quietly you almost don’t hear it while he slides out of you at last, leaving you a dripping mess in his wake.

You stare at him as he looks entranced by the sight of your orgasms smeared all over you. You take a sharp breath as he gingerly brings two fingers to your cunt, slipping inside you easily and fucking what he can of his excess back into you. You expect him to stop but he just doesn’t.

He works his thick digits in and out, his mouth parted open and his eyes set on the way you suck him in so easily. You whine at the building pressure as he finger fucks you, already too close to another orgasm. Your hand is holding his strong arm as your eyes threaten to roll back.

“Bucky,” you whimper, “fuck, I’m gonna come again.”

Your words spur him on as he moves more precisely, hitting exactly where he knows you need him to. With his free hand, he brings his thumb to your clit and rubs in tight circles as your voice peaks and your legs shake. You’re nearly blinded by the orgasm as it hits you and the sound of Bucky cursing makes its way to your ears. You weren’t expecting it but as Bucky shakes his fingers inside you, prolonging your high like it’s the only thing in the world he’s concerned with - your pleasure, you - you realize you’re practically gushing as you squirt all over his fingers. You hear his voice but not his words as Bucky talks you through it.

It’s not the first time you’ve come so hard at his whim, but fuck, you’re exhausted as you slowly come down. You whimpered despite yourself as you open your eyes and Bucky gently slips out of you. He leans over you again as you gaze dizzily at him before he kisses you delicately.

“Did so good, sweetheart,” he mumbles against your skin, planting a sweet kiss on your cheek before he gets up off the bed completely.

You lie there, trying to recoup and catch your breath until he comes back not long after, a pair of his sweats low on his hips and a damp cloth in his hand, a glass of water in the other.

He sets the glass down on the bedside table before tending to you. He wipes gently at the mess between your legs, cleaning you up with the warm cloth before discarding it with the clothes and coming to sit next to where you lay.

“You okay?” He asks, that ever present concern evident in his voice as his hands gently start to wander your soft body.

You smile and nod at him, taking one of his hands in yours. “Better than okay,” you simper. “Was not expecting that,” you add, “but god.” You sit up and cling to him, resting your head on his shoulder. “That’s one way to celebrate a year.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” he laughs, turning to stand and pull you off the bed with him, “that wasn’t even the celebration.”

You smile and walk slowly to the closet to grab a night shirt, slipping it on before grabbing a pair of panties from your drawer. “I knew you were planning something,” you eye him playfully, coming up to wrap your arms around him.

He smirks, hugging you back for a second before just deciding to lift you up. “You get so cuddly after sex,” he laughs.

“Me?!” you laugh out, hugging onto him as he walks toward the door of your bedroom, “take a look in the mirror, buddy.”

“Fine,” he agrees, starting down the steps, “you’re right, we both do.”

“That’s just good compatibility,” you muse as he walks you into the den.

“Great compatibility,” he one ups. “It’s almost like,” he pauses a second, setting you down on the oversized sleeper chaise before he leans down to you, “we were made for each other.”

You lean up to meet his lips in a quick, gentle kiss. “Yeah,” you agree softly, a smile beginning to form on your lips. You bite your lip as you watch him go back out toward the front living room. He peeks out the window to make sure no one’s out there before he opens the door.

There's a pause as he takes in the scene outside...or lack thereof. “The candy’s gone!” He yells to you in disbelief.

You can’t help your snicker as he turns to look at you across the way, empty bowl in hand. He waves it, still seeming in shock; like this possibility never crossed his mind.

“Sorry, sweetheart,” you laugh, “but good thing you have like twelve more cases,” you remind him. He licks his lips as he stares at the empty bowl, shaking his head slightly. A second later, you see his brow raise as he starts to straighten up, but you aren't sure what he's reacting to until you hear her voice.

“Trick or treat,” a sultry voice comes from behind Bucky as he still stands at the open door. His eyes widen before he sighs, slowly turning to face the most persistent of his neighborly admirers.

You quirk a brow at her lack of company and strain to hear better.

“Sorry to bother,” she smiles, eyes dragging down Bucky’s solid - still shirtless - chest before she manages to rein herself in and snap her gaze back up to his. “I’m in the middle of mixing up some cookie dough but I ran out of flour. Paul and Michael are busy running their fun house or I’d have them go grab me a bag. Do you think you’d be able to lend me a cup?” You are slightly irked at the change of tone in her last question. She sounds flirty and though Bucky is mostly blocking her from your view, from what you can see, it seems like she’s leaning in closer to him. “We just had a rush of trick or treaters but it’s so quiet around here now. Paul’s so preoccupied with that set up though, I don’t even think he’d notice if I went missing,” she laughs, her toothy grin rubbing you the wrong way as her lashes flutter.

“Uh,” Bucky clears his throat awkwardly, “yeah, we probably have some flour we can spare. Give me a minute.”

“Oh, yo-“ she takes a step forward with her words but is cut off by the closing of the door.

You get up with a tilt of your head and follow Bucky into the kitchen quickly. “Did she just hit on you?” you ask incredulously.

Bucky eyes you as he sets the empty bowl on the counter and walks to the cabinet. “I could see how you could think that,” he avoids a real answer through his embarrassment.

You huff a laugh, walking to the drawer you keep the measuring cups in, grabbing the cup, smirking. “She is somethin’ else.” You sidle up to Bucky as he opens the jar of flour. You lean into him, holding out the cup for him to take, “But, I guess, who can blame her? You know what they say, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”

Bucky chuckles with a roll of his eyes as he grabs it from you, scooping up the cup of flour. You’re confused as he tries to hand the cup back to you.

“What?”

“Go give it to her,” he nudges you.

“I’m not wearing pants,” you state the obvious.

“I don’t have a shirt on,” he argues.

“She already saw you,” you nudge him back with a titter.

“Please,” he breathes a light laugh, but you see the seriousness of his request in his eyes. His discomfort is evident, and you don’t know how you didn’t recognize it earlier.

You don’t know everything he went through, but you know enough to know how important Bucky’s privacy is to him - and that includes physically. He is the only one who should be able to decide who sees him, when, and how much of him they see. Of course, no one should be treated like an object, but you get the feeling it can feel a lot worse for Bucky than it can for the typical person.

You take the cup with a soft smile, “Okay, yeah,” you acquiesce. “You should open another box while you’re at it,” you nod toward the cabinet where the boxes of candy bars are before turning around to get the door.

You open it with a smile, trying to hide your bare legs with the door as you hold out the cup of flour. “There you go,” you offer.

“Oh! I didn’t, ha-“ she laughs lightly, “didn’t even realize you were home.” She looks down, moving some hair behind her ears before she reaches for the cup.

You smile brighter as you take a step from behind the door. “Yeah,” you say simply. What the hell does she mean she didn't think you were home?

“Well, thank you,” she smiles tightly, trying to not look at your bare legs. The implication of your and Bucky’s lack of clothing, his messed hair, and your smudged makeup all hanging in the air. “Happy Halloween,” she adds before turning around and heading back down the path.

“Mhm, Happy Halloween,” you return before shutting the door. Unbelievable. But you know you have less than nothing to worry about, so you let it go. Hopefully this interaction will finally be the one to get her off of Bucky's back.

You spin around and find Bucky behind you, eyes having been set on your ass as he holds the newly filled bowl of candy. His eyes shoot up to meet yours as you deprive him of the view. That heated gaze back in his ice blue eyes as he trails up and down your body again.

“See something you like?” You ask teasingly, popping a hip as you cross one leg in front of the other.

“Not something,” he swipes his tongue against his bottom lip unthinking, “everything.”

You go closer to him, a soft, flattered smile in place as you take the bowl of candy from him. “Why don’t you go pick a movie, and I’ll start on dinner in a minute.”

“I already ordered delivery, should be here in about half an hour.”

“Oh?” you raise a brow, reaching back to the door to put out the candy again.

“Mhm,” he hums, his hand in his pocket as he leans, watching you as you close the door shut and turn back to him.

“I thought you said we’d do whatever I wanna do tonight?”

“‘M sorry, doll,” he reaches a hand to you that you take, letting him tug you into him and walk you back into the den. “What do you wanna do?”

You try to bite down your smile as you get to the chaise, Bucky turning to look at you as he waits for your answer. You take the opportunity to slowly push him back, essentially guiding him down as your push had no real physical effect. He watches you with curious, patient eyes as he lets you lead until you bring yourself up to straddle him; his gaze darkening instantly as his hands find your waist, slowly feeling you down, fingers kneading your soft, plushy curves as he wanders down your hips, making his way to grabbing your ass.

You settle a little more comfortably on top of him, your hands on his chest before letting your fingers dance all over his thick torso. You smile, letting yourself answer simply and honestly.

“You.”

—

You’re cuddled up to Bucky as you lay on the chaise, bellies full and feeling satiated and satisfied - in every way. The blanket keeps you warm, but being this close to Bucky keeps you even warmer. You’ve run out of candy, and the porch lights are out as the Halloween classic plays on the screen before you - volume low as you and Bucky talk more than you watch the film.

“It’s kinda crazy when you think about it,” you say. “We’ve been together for essentially the entire time we’ve known each other. I’m surprised you haven’t gotten tired of me yet,” you laugh a little at yourself.

He looks you deep in the eye, a confused half smile on his lips as his brows furrow ever so slightly. “How could I ever get tired of you? You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, doll.”

You are taken aback, despite the commonplace of his adamant affection and feelings, at the intense sincerity of his words, the way he’s looking at you. Like he sees you.

Really see you.

Because he does. And somehow, for whatever reason…

“I love you,” he whispers, completing your thought without knowing it as he leans in to kiss you. Your noses brush as he kisses you softly, slow and delicate before it grows just that much deeper. You slow again and with a few lighter kisses, finally part to breathe properly, though you never leave his embrace.

“I’ve had a year with you,” he speaks softly, running his fingers up and down your arm, “and it’s been one of the best years of my life,” he measures his words before finishing his thought as you gaze up at him, “because of you. And I think I’m gonna need a lifetime more,” he decides, “at least.”

You can’t help your smile at his words as you nuzzle into him. “A lifetime, huh? ...I think I could be okay with that,” you say lowly, a teasing tone edging in your words.

You know you’d be okay with that.

Bucky’s heart skips a beat at your agreement and he grows a bit more excited for what he has planned for tomorrow. It all starts with breakfast, and if things go right, it’ll end with one very important question.

“Happy anniversary, Bucky,” you mumble into him as your eyes grow heavy. “I love you. So much. This has been a really perfect night,” you smile softly.

“Happy anniversary, sweetheart,” he kisses your head, holding you closer as you slowly drift off in his loving embrace.

Your gentle breathing calms the butterflies in his stomach at the thought of tomorrow. Any nerves can wait until then.

It’s been a year, and now he can’t wait for the rest of his life.

With you.

—-

a/n that no one asked for: thank you so much for reading! getting ahead of this now - there will not be a part three. this took so long to get through and i just can’t commit to any more sequels of anything. 😭 you are, of course, free to head canon what comes next however you’d like! though if you’re curious, in my mind these two get engaged the next day and idk maybe sometime around Christmas they find out they’re pregnant? but babies or no babies, work works out for reader and everything is good and lovely and they make friends and are able to see family more often and blah blah blah they live happily ever after! lol again, thank you very much for reading!🥰 let me know if you enjoyed it, feel free to share your thoughts. <3

[firegirl888101]

Insatiable Madness (11)

|Sagau Yandere Fatui Harbingers x Reader|

Now is your time to survive. Will you swallow your words? Or spit them and face the consequences, both good and bad?

Reader is Gender Neutral!

"Alright... I can do this. This'll be a piece of cake." You paced yourself, walking around your room to clear your dooming thoughts.

"Nothing bad is going to happen; this isn't like back then. I'm in my room, where I can control what happens and when something happens. How much worse could my situation possibly get? The worst characters in the entire game are here, in my house already. It physically can't get any worse!"

"Shut up! You sound like a cult of fat Mitachurls dancing around a fire!" A Harbinger's voice shouted from downstairs, banging following their shouts.

"Break a hole in my ceiling and I swear to your archon I'll gouge out your eyes and bury them in my back garden!"

"Shuuuut up." The same voice shouted back quieter, going completely silent when another voice scolded them. You guessed it was a scolding, as their voice sounded authoritive despite being muffled. Pierro, perhaps.

This idea of yours better work. You're not fighting your past experiences for nothing! If these characters don't reply to you and make you sound (and look) like a dunce, you're done with the universe.

Speaking of being done with the universe, how on Earth did this even happen? It's not normal for fictional characters to know of the existence of people who created them. Are other games like this too? Or is Genshin Impact special in some way? And if it's just Genshin Impact, who's to say other Hoyoverse games don't have the same level of intelligence behind the characters?

It's a good thing you uninstalled Honkai Star Rail a month ago, who knows, it could have been the Stellaron Hunters in your house instead. Although... Arguably, you somehow think they'd be a lot better compared to the Harbingers.

Anyway, it's time to start your plan.

You booted up Genshin, eyeing the Celestia background hesitantly with shaking fingers, the sun in the background feeling more real considering your current circumstances.

Pushing your chair inwards in a hurry, you scrambled to get your notebook beside your PC to re-read the notes you wrote before. You didn't want to freeze up in the middle of your SOS speech, so you took it upon yourself to write key points of your argument and read them if you start feeling the anxiety creep in.

Ugh, thinking about how possibly the entirety of Teyvat was going to hear your voice scares you even more.

No, take deep breaths. The characters left aren't as evil as the Fatui, or have smart people such as Dottore or Sandrone. The only person you currently see as a threat is Albedo, but he shouldn't be a problem since his goal is to destroy Mondstadt.

You read your paper again:

Introduce yourself formally, keep it classy

Ask Aether what the FUCK the Harbingers think they're doing!!!

Beg Explain you could really use some help

Ask if there's any way someone on the other side, perhaps Albedo, could construct a portal to get these mangy, whining, murderous babies out of your house

Be polite, thank for listening, and wait for reply. Patience is key

If this little golden teenager with a ratty plait doesn't answer you, you're throwing your TV remote at your PC. ...Actually nevermind, it might come useful in the future.

Your screen suddenly loaded, the blinding white loading screen with each element fading to show the landscape. Your screen looked exactly how it did yesterday. With your Childe team, minus Childe obviously, in their idle animations outside of the Spiral Abyss portal in Mondstadt.

Okay, this is it. It's better to at least try rather than run away with cowardice. If you don't try, you'll never know whether it's actually possible to communicate with other characters. Also, in the small hope that the Harbingers leave your house, you can delete the game and start a new life. ...Hopefully.

You hesitantly went to the character selection screen and selected Aether, putting him in a team on his own with no other characters next to him. Noticeably, Arlecchino and surprisingly Wanderer aren't in the character menu either. Did the Harbinger's travel to Teyvat alter the course of history on their side? Interesting...

Now, where to communicate with him? Well, considering Signora is alive, the timeline must be just before or during Inazuma. Would staying in Mondstadt be a better place? Oh, who cares. You've got the guy in your party anyway. As long as he's there, it should be fine, right?

You selected the waypoint closest to Albedo's lab in Dragonspine, running to the camp and occasionally stopping to avoid freezing to death by using the orange seelies.

Then, you turn Aether's avatar to face you, his breath creating white vapour in the cold air of the mountain.

"So, uh, hello...!" You started, mumbling quietly as you scooch your chair back away from your desk.

No. Follow step one correctly, and be confident about it. You coughed before starting again, voice stronger but still quiet as to not alert the Harbingers.

"My name is Y/N, and I really need your help. I'm not sure what's happening on your side of things, and to be honest, I don't really care. If you haven't noticed on your journey by now, The 11 Fatui Harbingers have gone missing. Well, in your world anyway." You began.

"They somehow and miraculously ended up here, in my world. Specifically, my house. From what they've told me, they want to give me over to the Tsaritsa. I have no idea what that means, all I know is she'll probably kill me."

You waited for a response, any glitching similar to when Childe wasn't working in the abyss or visual cue to show someone (or something) was listening. You didn't see one, but continued anyway.

"I need your help to transport them back to Teyvat. I know what you're probably thinking, 'but the Fatui have been causing me problems on my journey to find my sister'. Unfortunately for you, they become important in developing your journey across each nation. I'm guessing you're currently in Inazuma or Liyue since Signora is still alive, even though I've brought you to Natlan? Ugh, this is so weird." You shook your head with a small grimace.

"Anyway, I'm really hoping you can hear me. If the Fatui of all possible people who could know of me are aware of my side and my existence, surely you and/or the Archons must know too? Maybe even the Abyss? After watching your journey in Natlan I can't stand them, but they did prove a long theory I had..."

You trailed off, hoping that maybe nobody replied to your speech because they were waiting for a moment you would stop so they could input. Alas, nothing changed. Aether was still as blank as ever, face unchanging to the world around him.

You tried everything to get a reaction. Kamera mode, Teapot mode, equipping different characters, changing locations, reloading the game... but nothing worked.

What were you doing wrong? If the Harbingers knew of your existence, surely that would have been because you used Childe a lot, right? There's nothing else you can think of that could be the cause. Unless, perhaps, the 'players' existence is a known fact throughout Teyvat? No, that couldn't be right. You've talked to NPC's and read hundreds of theories using lore found within the game. Not once did it ever mention a higher being above the Descenders, nor the Phane for that matter.

You hit the pause button in Genshin, huffing an angered sigh as you pushed your chair out aggressively. You'll have to try again later, that's the only thing you can do right now. Considering the Harbinger's have no idea what resources exist in this world, you're pretty sure it will take them awhile to figure out how to get back to Teyvat.

'Awhile' may sound like a long time, but you know Dottore will somehow cut that word by 3/4. Anyway, you'll have to save asking about a possible way to create a portal another time. Right now, what's more important is grasping a connection of understanding.

Well, you better start sorting out another problem that will soon come. The problem which Pulcinella actually pointed out, too.

Food.

And you know what you need to get more? Money.

If only Pantalone were useful in this world, then, he would be able to pay for all the expenses you'll need these next few weeks. You know, now that you're actually thinking about it, he's probably the most useless Harbinger here.

You sat up from your chair and left it pushed out, convincing yourself that this plan wasn't completely over. In truth, it wasn't. There was nothing wrong in trying again, was there? Sure, this session might have failed. But who's to say it won't work the next time? Or maybe the time after that?

...Right?

You left the room after eyeing your computer screen once more, scowling at the Genshin merch on your desk. That reminds you, you need to burn all the Harbinger merch the second you can. Maybe all your merch in fact. Okay that's a lie, although this instance has definitely scarred you for life, it won't stop you from keeping a few non-Fatui items.

Unfortunately, if you'd just looked at your desk one more time, you would have noticed Paimon waving frantically at you with a face of panic, shouting through the screen trying to get her voice to be heard on the other side.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

"Okay, group time. We need to discuss something." You called everyone to the living room, snatching the remote from Pantalone's hand and turning the TV off.

"Pardon me, it was my turn to watch the television tonight." He excused himself aggressively, trying to swat the remote back into his hand.

"Not so funny when it's your turn, is it?" Dottore laughed at him, pausing his writing to mock the banker.

"Are you aware of how long I had to wait until I could have a look at my channel? I only just received the remote!" He complained, glaring at Dottore through his closed eyes.

"Hmph. To me, it looks like you're sleeping laying on the sofa like that." Sandrone scoffed, her posture straight.

"Alright, Alright," You quietened them. "Pantalone can get the remote back after I say what I need to."

After a short while of waiting, everyone except Pierro, Signora, Capitano and Childe had arrived in the living room to listen to what you had to say.

"Where are the other four? Why is there always someone missing when I need to say something important." You asked the Harbingers, sighing in frustration.

"Heh, Childe is out of commission at the moment." Scaramouche snickered to himself, eyes closed imagining the pain he's going through.

"That's not a 'where', it's a 'what'." You deadpanned.

"He's in the landing with Capitano. I brought him there since these two were taking over the sofa." Arlecchino answered.

"And... Signora and Pierro?"

"Signora's in the guest bedroom, fretting about her nails growing in a different direction that how'd she'd like them to. Pierro's still in the office signing paperwork that clearly isn't helpful to our situation at this moment in time."

"Thank you, at least someone's helpful." You nodded to her, Arlecchino nodding back in an understanding as she leant against the wall with her arms crossed.

"We need to talk about food. As Pulcinella reminded me earlier today, if we don't get more food we'll run out in about 3 days."

"Does that even matter?" Scaramouche interrupted you. "The majority of us don't even need to eat, you're just wasting your resources by feeding us. Besides, who would want to eat your aw--"

"What he means to say is," Pulcinella coughed to interrupt the puppet. "Yes, this is indeed a tough predicament. How are we to get the resources we need?"

"Well, we'll have to go to the shop and buy some. But to buy, we need money."

"Money? I have plenty of that." Pantalone questions with a bored tone, his head leaning into one of his hands.

"Stop forgetting what I told you earlier, you damned diva. Your money is useless here. If we want to get money, we'll have to work." You hushed him quickly.

"Work. Yes, of course." Arlecchino thought out loud. "But how do we work when we know nothing about this world?"

"Ugh, it's not that different to Teyvat! So, who's feeling like working?"

Nobody replied, everyone looking at eachother urging them to say yes instead of them.

"...Right, well, let's eliminate the people who can't work. Signora can't, as it would be way too risky. If the police somehow recovered the damaged footage and released it to the public, I'd be dead meat she'd blow her cover immediately," You started.

"Pulcinella and Pierro also can't, as they look way too old to be working. They'd be considered retirement age from looks alone. On the same topic, Columbina and Sandrone might have to stay behind too because of how child-like they look. Columbina might be able to get away with it, but it would still turn some heads in my opinion."

"Hah! It seems you're worth some praise." Sandrone commended you, letting out a hearty laugh in satisfaction. "However, this does cause some problems on my end of the bargain."

"And what problems would that be?"

"Why, exploring your world's machinery, of course! Becoming an engineer would be the perfect way to learn more about your world."

"Yes." You gave her a dead look. "And tell me, you're planning to become a professional's apprentice to learn? Something tells me your pride wouldn't let that happen."

"It can't be that difficult." She scoffed to herself, voice quiet and eyes narrow.

"I wanted to see more of this world..." Columbina sighed sadly, interjecting Sandrone. "Oh well, I suppose I can do that by asking you questions instead~"

"Right..." You sweated nervously.

"I have no objections." Pulcinella nodded with his eyes closed, being in agreeance. "We can discuss Sandrone's means to learn later, as I believe it would be an excellent idea."

You sighed once more, not bothering to argue more, and continued your rambling.

"Capitano is also a no in terms of getting a job. That helmet really stands out, and considering he can't and wouldn't want to take it off, I guess he's not going outside ever. Anyway, so, uh... We'll discuss who wants to have what job and when they'd like to start tomorrow. I'm going upstairs to tell Signora what's happening. Arlecchino, Pulcinella, could you both respectively tell Childe and Capitano, as well as Pierro this information?" You told them, head looking back over your shoulder before turning straight to walk up the stairs.

"Of course." They both replied, leaving to do their own thing.

As you were walking up the stairs, you could hear Pantalone and Dottore arguing for the remote. Funnily enough, it was Columbina's abnormal dry tone that caused the two to stop fighting and find something to watch together. Huh, you wished you could do that.

You knocked on the guest bedroom door, hearing Signora scoff and call out to the person on the other side telling them to enter. You walked into the bedroom silently, sitting on the bed waiting for her to talk to you.

She was sitting on the chair in front of the mirror, fiddling with a nail file whilst muttering about the state of her fingers. Beside her fumbling form was some nail varnish. Hold on a minute, aren't those your mothers?

"Signora, you wouldn't have happened to find the nail kit in front of you in my parent's bedroom, would you?" You asked her, feeling your annoyance begin to grow.

"Hm? Maybe I did. What's it to you?" She glared in the mirror, eyeing you without turning around.

"What's it to me??? Did you seriously just ask me that? You're using a dead woman's nail file and nail varnish!" You argued.

"Well, yes." She shrugged, a wicked grin growing on her face. "I'll have to make do with what I can get. If it weren't for the surprisingly beautiful colour and necessity of my manicure, I would have put the thought out of my head immediately."

"But those are just excuses! Look, if you really wanted a fucking manicure, you could have just asked for my stuff in my room."

"And how, for Teyvat's sake, was I supposed to know you had supplies in your room?" She eyed you strangely.

Well, she has a point. A dumb point, but one you'll accept as long as she stops using your mother's marriage anniversary nail kit.

"Just...! Just pass the nail kit to me and I'll give you my manicure bag. Stay here, and stay out of my parent's room." You warned her, snatching the nail file and nail varnish with haste.

You speedwalked to your bedroom, dumping the items on your desk with the thought to put those in your bedside drawer later. Stopping for a moment to look at your monitor still showcasing Genshin, you sighed and continued pacing the room to find your manicure bag. When finding the bag, you quickly swiped it off of the shelf and returned to the guest bedroom.

"Right." You started, dumping the bag and opening the zip to let her see what was inside the bag.

"Is this alright for you, your majesty?" You mocked her, unable to stop yourself from speaking. "You'll have everything you could possibly need for your nails in here. From different colours, to charms, to glitter. Capiche?"

"Hmm..." She fiddled with the bag, having a look at the colours you've given her. "Since you're here already, why don't you make yourself useful and do my nails for me? Do whatever you wish with them in terms of colour and point, I'd like to see how nails in this world differ from Teyvat." She ordered you with a wave of her hand, one leg over the other.

Is she actually joking?

"Are you kidding me? I'm not doing your nails for you!" You exclaimed, outraged at the suggestion itself.

"Oh, please. Don't act as if the suggestion is atrocious. Aren't you the one who often mentions our wrongdoings when we're minding our own business? Who's to say we can't do the same?"

"A normal person." You grumbled under your breath with squinted eyes. "Murder and stealing are two very different things."

"I hope you're as good as talking as you are making excuses." She rolled her eyes, laying her hands out in front of her. "Not only that, but doing nails. If I don't like them, you'll have hell to pay."

Well, looks like you don't have a choice in terms of doing her nails for her. What a prissy bitch.

"Fine." You scoffed at her, dragging a spare chair in the corner of the room to sit down.

You looked through the bag of colours you had, deciding to do a red and black gradient whilst leaving her nails relatively long and sharp. Perhaps you could add little light blue dots to the black gradient to highlight her eyes? Yes, that sounds like a good idea.

"Those are the colours you're choosing?" She raised on eyebrow with an uninterested frown.

"I'm sorry, your highness, were you expecting a pretty baby pink?"

"Continue." She rolled her eyes.

Filing and washing her nails to the perfect size, you began to paint the nails delicately. As you were working, you noticed Signora begin to soften her features, a small almost non-existent smile on her face with satisfaction in watching you work.

"Do you do nails often?" She asked you with a gentler tone, tilting her head to get a better look at you painting her smallest nail.

"Not really." You denied, shaking your head. "I only have this many colours because my mother liked to gift me stuff like this."

"Ah..." She made a noise of understanding. "So that's why the majority of your colours are still sealed."

"Yeah. I never used them because I saw no need to, occasionally I'd help my mother do hers if she went out to party with the neighbours. Also most of my Pinterest references use a specific set of colours."

"...Pinterest?"

"It's a type of catalogue." You tried your best to explain, fanning the nails hoping they would dry quickly.

"You can save pictures that other people post and use them for references. I like to use it for clothes and nail inspiration for my mother."

"That sounds... exquisite." Signora noted with wide eyes. "You mean to tell me different people from all over can post these pictures? And others seeing the pictures can use them as they wish?"

"Yup. Although, you saying that out loud makes me think you're thinking of something illegal." You deadpanned.

"I'm not!" She accidentally recoiled, slowly putting her hands back out when realising. "It just seems like a power not worthy on humans. Surely you would use such a powerful idea for messages instead of just pictures?"

"You're literally just describing a forum."

"Hm?"

"Nevermind!" You stated, grabbing the blue and adding dots to the black. Instead of ending it there as planned, you decided to add glitter and put a couple specks onto each dot. You looked back at the nails from a distance, finding satisfaction in your work.

"What do you think? If you don't like them, I don't care. To be fair, this is the first time I've done nails in awhile."

"I suppose they're... alright." Her cheeks turned slightly pink, hesitating in how to answer. "They're much better than what I thought they'd be. Your world has such vibrant colours for varnish, usually I just stick to black."

"I noticed." You put all your materials away, attempting to zip up the bag.

Before you could zip up the bag completely, Signora stopped your hand by placing hers over your own.

"Hey, don't move your hands so much! I just finished your nails!"

"Ahem. I believe we had a deal? You do my nails, and I'll do yours? Although I would rather spend my time doing something else, I am not one to back out of an agreement such as this."

Somehow, despite the day not going to plan, you don't hate how it ended. In fact, you feel as if you've grown a little closer to Signora today.

"Oh, and whilst I'm at it," She paused. "I better have a look at what clothes you have in your wardrobe. From what I see now, I don't think I'll like what I'll see in there."

You take back what you said earlier.

Has anyone noticed I like the word 'prissy' a bit too much?

Anyway, Insatiable Madness is going to have longer Views from now on 🥳

I like this part a lot, it's definitely one of my favourite Views I've written so far!

Please don't expect too many happy, nice and generally fluffy scenes.

This is Yandere, a genre which should never, under any circumstance be considered normal. It's abusive, unhealthy and leads to a lot of victims facing awful conditions which they never should or ever have to endure no matter who they are.

This is fiction that I'm writing, meaning it's all taken light-heartedly IN A FICTIONAL SENSE.

If anyone, by chance, is currently in conditions where a loved-one or yourself has suddenly become distant and/or being hurt when away from eyes please get help. Talk to them, or if it's you, talk to someone you know you can trust.

If you can't talk to anyone, find authorities who can help you. Call 999, as it is in the U.K, or your local emergency service. They will always help you, and will never deny your rights or freedom.

Thanks for reading this, I hope all who's reading knows this information already, but I thought I'd include it since who knows when it comes to where you are in the world and whether your education programs taught critical information like this.

✨Elusive✨ Taglist!:

@valeriele3 @pale-value @pix-stuff @yumi-genshin-writer @yuii-v @itz-luna @annoying-mary @etherisy @khalhaimdad @haikyuusboringassmanager @magica-ren @sweatyexpertdeputyduck @booksandteaplusart @9140 @whatamidoing89 @raesleepyhead @nasidibakar @shikanosn @purpleamethystsblog @chihawari @esthelily @stuffyfrenchflowers @conspicuous-mayonnaise @sielt @katsumikumo @greyhoundwires707 @carminerin @raidendeeznuts123 @angelofdarkness2 @shellofthewell @ginnxy-galaxy @clara-maddenlin @bk-4-trash-fire @uniqaal @tnsophiaonly @vianitry @dottoreandcolumbinaslovechild @melou008 @lsleepysimpl @steadybreadbluebird @thebigkessydisaster @eliciana @kamit-frog @twst-kumi @idk098 @kurayamioterasu @mmeatt @the-lazy-perfectionist @florelll @vvzhyxx @averycuriousperson @starlaisopaque @liyuedragonmorax @lovelive-animequeen1029 @mayythammyy

Quick Reminder Here! If you no longer want to be on the taglist that's completely fine; I take no offence whatsoever so please don't hesitate to tell me. ^^

[erensfeed]

OKAY BUT.

I woke up this morning with like, a flashing need to send you an ask about your LADS Actor AU, which sometimes just consumes my thoughts at random times.

👁️ But the boys recording the MYTHS.

Angst CENTRAL ANGST.

I just remembered the last update where they were doing Caleb's death (haha temporary of course, he's just taking a break) and she's acting out how she passes out and he pops up next to her like, why so sad?

And like... Recording the HEART BREAKING bits of their myths?

Spoilers ahead in case you HAVEN'T seen them all, won't go into detail but...

Dying in Xavier's arms? Forseer Zayne reading her fate and giving up everything for her? Rafayel having to chose between her life and his people's?

Whatever the fuck Sylus has got goin on? With the whole stabbing in the chest?

I was just consumed by the thought of them having to get into that headspace before the scene, having to pretend to see her die or hurt or knowing they won't see her again, when it's fake.

The aftermath of it too, getting out of that, maybe they're all whipped (yes) and just need a good hug and to ground themselves. Method acting you know...

Anyway 👁️ I've ranted enough 👁️

Thank you for reading through this whole ass paragraph, hope your day is wonderful!

content: how i imagine they’d be as actors when filming their myths. * some minor spoilers from me on xavier as well ! * ૮ ˶ᵔ ~ ᵔ˶ ა

you literally have no clue how i literally love you for still thinking ab those silly hcs😭 THANK YOU THANK U THANK UUU !! AND STOP BC THIS IDEA??? ate down.

cause omg they’d literally be love interests who grew head over heels in love with the main co-star in a fr deep(ressive) story. and it’s like gawd. what a life they’d come to lead if they really were actors then LMAOO

but anyway ! they would be told and agree (months prior), that method acting would be the best thing when filming each of their intense myths. and i know for a fact that rafayel would be the one waayyy too into that method acting stuff because it’d all end up feeling really personal.

‘i can totally work with this’ were the exact words that came from him as you watched and listened to him, munching on his box of donuts (this was a habit between you two — going over to the other’s trailer to snack on whatever the other got to eat). not to mention the times he’d re-read his copy of the script analysis for the nth time / before main rehearsals, and how he’d be all “pft, i wonder why [main director’s name] thinks acting all of this would ever even get to me”. and that never aged well at ALL because he ended up being more attached to it than he expected, as his natural reactions were already in tune with his lemurian character anyway.

but anyway during the era of, rafayel would suddenly stay to himself a little more / even got confused on his real feelings for you (?). and of course he’d recognize that and try to keep things professional, but he would also catch himself sometimes looking at or treating you like mc. and it’s like oh ! all this because he somehow tied everything to your irl friendship / dynamic ??? LOL

but anyway much like rafayel, xavier would also see you as the mc. just in a different way of course. cause it doesn’t help that you just so happen to naturally act like the mc, even off camera.

now when acting the real deal of his myth — when you lay lifeless in his arms — he would imagine that you really were the mc, keeping his head down as the feeling of the idea of holding the one he loved but couldn’t save hit him. his eyes would also be vacant during this scene, especially as he held the star tassel, the weight of it feeling heavier as he envisioned you giving it to him before dying.

in this same scene where he had to hold one of your limp hands in his, it actually felt colder. this didn’t show in the final take because xavier acts so authentically, but it did catch him off guard — as no one told him your hands would actually have to be cold for the real scene. and that made the moment feel even more real and intensified this ache in his chest at the thought of losing you. (lolol ofc the directors kept that because gawd everything was so realistic)

he’d tell himself it was just that scene that got to him but he’d eventually grow to randomly start reaching out to hold your hand in his more often, just to feel its warmth.

stop im giggling now bc im abt to go read smth angsty w xavier

moving on though ! zayne and his foreseer myth? especially dawnbreaker?? .. let me not go there bc this would be longer than needed. though i will say that zayne hadn’t planned on being “affected”. but he would quietly start to observe you more, as his way of not directly discussing his emotions. (this was also what prompted him to be quick to protect you on set)

in conclusion. rafayel as an actor, who has the biggest soft spot for you, would pull back just a little while in that headspace. quietly growing to wonder if you’d also forget him & all the moments you shared, once love and deepspace was over. and he would also start joking about his feelings more to mask them during that time. xavier, on the other hand, would develop a habit of finding lame excuses to have your hand in his whenever you were together, since feeling your cold hands that day did actually do something to him. zayne wouldn’t want to admit how it actually affected him but he would eventually be vulnerable about it with only you. lastly and not surprisingly enough, sylus would remain the only sane one regarding his character's darker lore LMAOO. so i’ll just leave that there (until his myth comes out).

but even though their well hidden feelings for you complicated things, they were great actors so it wouldn’t really affect them terribly for long, as they had ways to separate their personal lives from their roles by all the way you’d comfort them after you found out.

a/n: THIS WAS SO FUN & FUNNY TO ADD ONTO. althoughhh i personally don’t feel like this is 100% spot on & tied to the (1st) actor au hcs, as it’s just some ways i think they’d react but that could just be bc i wrote this in one sitting. didn’t also plan on talking that much and ab my glorious 6ft prince rafayel either but anyway thank yeww for this pooks. (also, im giving you a moon emoji for all our next discussions bc i look forward to them🙂‍↕️ )

[sebstanaddict]

Between Deadlines

CEO!Bucky Barnes x Reader Story

A/n: And he did it again. A simple photoshoot inspired me to write another one shot 🤭 I've been wanting to write CEO!Bucky for a while now, and his LA Magazine shoot finally did it for me. There's something about that sleek black suit and unbuttoned shirt that is so inspiring 😁 Anyway, hope you guys enjoy this enemies to lovers story. Please vote and comment. It would mean the world to me. Thank you.

Summary: James Buchanan Barnes is the CEO of Barnes Tech Solutions and reader is his CTO. When an ultimatum from a client forces them to work together overnight, what started off as competition and hate starts to turn into something else..

Pairings : CEO!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warning: none, just a little fluff, let me know if you find anything

Word count : 2k words

Read more Bucky one shots here

---

Chrysler Building, New York

The client’s voice cut through the room like a blade. “I hired your company because I believed you were professionals. You promised to deliver a solution by now, but all I see is a half-baked product with a mile-long list of issues. How can I possibly take your team seriously?”

James Buchanan Barnes, CEO of Barnes Tech Solutions, kept his jaw tight as he leaned forward, attempting to salvage what he could. “We understand your frustration,” he said, casting a quick glance at Y/n, the company’s CTO, sitting beside him. “We’ve hit a few roadblocks, but we’re confident we can resolve this quickly with the right—”

The client held up a hand. “No more excuses, Barnes.” They fixed a hard look on both of them, voice icy. “Three days. That’s all you get. Either you deliver exactly what we need, or we’re done here. No payment, no future business.”

The client didn’t wait for a response, gathering their papers with a look of finality before sweeping out of the conference room, leaving James and Y/n in silence. They sat there for a moment, both stewing in the frustration and tension of the encounter.

“Well,” Y/n muttered, finally breaking the silence, “that went well.”

James shot her a look, a scowl tugging at his features. “Don’t start, Y/n. This is exactly why I said we should’ve focused more on the testing phase.”

She crossed her arms, glaring right back at him. “Focused on testing? You barely gave me enough time to build the initial code, let alone test it properly.”

He huffed, standing up with a tense shrug. “If I didn’t push you, we’d still be stuck in development. But maybe you prefer taking things slow, dragging your feet?”

She pushed back her chair and stood up, her face flushed with irritation. “Dragging my feet? Barnes, if you had any idea how hard I’ve been working on this project…”

“Hard enough to almost lose us a client?” he shot back.

They stared each other down, both brimming with frustration. She was about to retort, but he started to walk away, loosening his tie as he did. She noticed his hand move to the top button of his shirt, undoing it with a casual flick that made her breath catch. The first button opened, a sliver of skin peeking out, and her eyes were drawn to it, lingering a little too long before she snapped herself out of it.

“You coming?” He asked, turning slightly towards her with a slight smirk on his face.

Did he just catch her looking? His smirk was faint, but she could feel his gaze on her, the hint of amusement there that made her blush despite herself. She shook her head and tried to brush the thought away as she followed him out of the room.

In her office, they set up their laptops at her desk, side by side, both working in tense silence as they began reviewing the project’s remaining issues. The air was thick with unresolved friction, each of them trying to avoid any eye contact, but occasionally, James' gaze would drift to her, taking in the focused, determined look on her face.

As they settled into the work, their bickering continued, every small detail an excuse to challenge each other’s opinions.

“If we’d just skipped that last feature in the initial build, we’d be a lot closer to what the client actually wanted,” she huffed, tapping at her laptop with more force than necessary.

James scoffed. “That feature was the whole reason they were excited in the first place.”

Y/n rolled her eyes. “Well, then maybe you should’ve double-checked what they actually wanted instead of chasing every shiny idea they suggested.”

“Oh, so now it’s my fault?” he asked, pulling off his suit jacket in frustration. He tossed it onto the back of a chair, loosening his tie and rolling up his sleeves as he glared down at her. “It’s not like you ever told me we didn’t have the resources to support it.”

But her words stalled, eyes betraying her as they strayed to the way he’d rolled his sleeves past his elbows, exposing the firm, lean muscle of his forearms. She swallowed, her thoughts briefly scattering as her cheeks warmed.

James caught the way she suddenly went quiet, raising a brow at her. “Something wrong?” he asked, his tone a touch smug when he noticed the way her gaze flickered down and back up.

She quickly looked away, feigning indifference as she typed out a few lines of code. “Nothing at all,” she said, voice tight. “Let’s just… finish this thing.”

He smirked but didn’t push, though he was starting to feel a strange shift himself. Watching her in her element, every subtle movement and frustrated sigh, he felt his own irritation beginning to fade.

An hour later, they found themselves slowly starting to agree on things, the edge in their voices softening as they adjusted parts of the project together.

“Actually,” he muttered, leaning over her shoulder, “you might be right about that last module. It would probably run smoother without it.”

She glanced up, her expression a little surprised. “Did James Barnes just agree with me?”

He rolled his eyes, though there was a faint smile tugging at his lips. “Don’t get used to it.”

They shared a small, reluctant smile before diving back into the work, slowly aligning on solutions without the need to argue each point. As the hours went on, the initial hostility between them started to feel like a distant memory.

Later, they hit a breakthrough on a particularly tricky piece of code, and she couldn’t help the triumphant smile that spread across her face. “See? I told you it’d work.”

He chuckled, genuinely impressed as he met her gaze. “Alright, fine. You win this round, CTO.”

She felt her pulse quicken at the warmth in his voice, her defenses slipping further as she returned his gaze. “You’re not too bad yourself, CEO,” she murmured, allowing the rare compliment to pass between them.

With every line of code, every small decision they made together, the tension shifted. What had started as frustration and competitive energy had softened into something unspoken, something that simmered between them with each quiet moment they shared.

Around midnight, James leaned closer, scanning a line of code on her screen. “There’s an extra bracket here,” he murmured, his voice softer than usual. He didn’t move back, his presence just inches away, warm and solid. She could feel his breath against her cheek, and her pulse quickened.

Her voice came out softer than she intended. “I, uh… I see it. Thanks.”

The silence lingered, neither of them pulling back. She glanced up and met his gaze, her heart pounding as she realized just how close they were. For a split second, she thought he might kiss her, and her breath caught, but then he cleared his throat, straightening up as if the moment hadn’t happened.

“Right,” he said, though his voice was slightly rough. “Let’s keep going.”

They worked through the night, every so often stealing glances when the other wasn’t looking. And each time she glanced his way, she’d catch little details she hadn’t noticed before—the way his brow furrowed in concentration, the way his hand absently rubbed the back of his neck when he was frustrated. There was something almost endearing about it.

At one point, James got up to grab them coffee, and when he returned, he held out a mug with a slight, almost shy smile. “Thought you could use this.”

She took it, their fingers brushing for a moment, sending an unexpected warmth up her arm. “Thanks, Barnes. Didn’t think you’d be the coffee-fetching type.”

“Only for you,” he replied, his voice playful, but his eyes held something softer, something that made her heart skip a beat.

She’d always thought of him as brash, a bit arrogant, but there was a quiet intensity to him now, a focus that made her feel a strange pull in her chest. He wasn’t just the CEO who threw orders around; he was actually invested in making things work, pushing just as hard as she was.

She cleared her throat, trying to distract herself. “You know,” she said carefully, glancing at him, “for all the arguing, you’re… you’re actually a pretty good CEO.”

He looked up at her, a hint of surprise in his eyes. “You mean that?”

“Yeah,” she said, feeling a little heat rise to her cheeks. “You know how to get things done. You push people, but… it’s because you actually care about the company.”

A small smile tugged at his lips, softening his usually sharp expression. “Thanks. But honestly, Y/n, if anyone’s pulling this project together, it’s you. You’re the best CTO I’ve ever seen—our tech wouldn’t even be half of what it is without you.”

She felt her heart skip a beat at his words, warmth creeping up her neck. “I… didn’t know you thought that,” she murmured, her gaze dropping for a moment.

He leaned in slightly, his eyes holding hers with a strange intensity. “I mean it,” he said, his voice low. “You’re brilliant, Y/n. Sometimes I wonder what we’d do without you.”

Her breath caught at the way he looked at her, a deep, lingering gaze that was almost… tender. She could feel her pulse quickening, her heart pounding in a way she hadn’t expected. She swallowed, feeling the tension between them shift, morphing into something that felt a lot less like animosity and a lot more like anticipation.

As the hours ticked on and the city lights outside dimmed into early morning, Y/n leaned back in her chair, stretching her tired arms above her head. “Almost there,” she murmured, exhaustion heavy in her voice. “Just a few more adjustments.”

James had loosened another button by now, and her gaze flickered to the open collar of his shirt. It exposed just enough to be distracting—the slight glimpse of toned muscle, his collarbone, the warm skin beneath, the reflection of a gold chain she just noticed that he was wearing. She tried to tear her eyes away, but the sight had her more breathless than she’d care to admit.

He noticed her lingering stare, and a slight smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Something on your mind, Y/n?” he asked, his voice lower, more teasing.

She cleared her throat, brushing it off. “Just… making sure you’re still awake,” she mumbled, hoping he couldn’t hear the sudden breathlessness in her voice.

He tilted his head, eyes fixed on her in that intense way that always made her heart skip a beat. “Awake—and noticing a few things myself,” he said quietly, his gaze drifting over her face, then her lips.

The air between them shifted, thickening with an unspoken tension. She could feel his closeness, the warmth radiating from him as he leaned in, just a little. She held her breath, waiting, unsure if he’d actually go through with it.

Then, as if making a decision, he reached out, brushing a strand of hair from her face. His fingers lingered by her cheek, his gaze dropping to her mouth as he edged closer. Her pulse raced, her heart pounding louder than any words.

Before she could second-guess the moment, his lips met hers, warm and unexpectedly soft, his hand cupping her cheek as he drew her in. It was gentle at first, tentative, as though he was testing the waters—but the moment she leaned into him, his kiss deepened, sending a shiver down her spine.

She felt her heart catch in her chest, and she knew that whatever this was between them, it was something she couldn’t ignore any longer.

When he finally pulled back, his forehead rested against hers, his eyes searching hers with a soft, almost shy smile. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that,” he murmured, a hint of vulnerability in his voice.

She laughed softly, a little breathless, her hands still resting on his shoulders. “Guess we’ve both been hiding things, then.”

He smiled, his fingers tracing along her jaw. “Maybe we’re better off working together than fighting, after all.”

She smirked, playfully nudging him. “Don’t think this means I’m going easy on you in the next project, Barnes.”

He chuckled, wrapping an arm around her waist. “Wouldn’t expect anything less, Y/n.” And with that, he leaned in and kissed her again, as the night slowly turned to dawn, the rivalry between them finally fading into something infinitely sweeter.

[banquetwriter]

୨୧ Soggy Socks ୨୧

pairing: Joel Miller ♡︎ Reader

warnings: ୭̥⋆*｡ implied soft!dom Joel, shy!joel, post TLOU 1 but pre TLOU 2, reader is basically ellie's mom, Joel and Ellie are friends here, passionate sex, no explicit aftercare, Joel is a little timid and shy and gives game and hbo Joel bc I love both smh

summary: ʚ two late-night fear driven bed talks leads to some well… bed talking ɞ

Words: 5.2k

A/N: omg hi, this isn't beta read and I'm a weird headspace lately and I hope this turned out ok I think its horrible low-key.

The cold air of the house clings to your frame. Yet another nightmare plagued your mind. The horrors of the world are not soon forgotten in your brain. You wrapped your arms around yourself. The thin fabric of your sleep shirt is both cold and warm as you leave the relative safety and warmth of your bed.

Your footsteps are light to not wake a sleeping Ellie. You tiptoe past her room and make it to where exactly you didn't want to. You stood in front of Joel’s. It was hard to define your relationship with the older man but one thing was clear to you. Your relationship transcended the perturbable barriers of society.

You both loved each other that much was clear to you, the crazy look he got in his eye when he thought something or someone was going to hurt you. His strong body guarded yours. You knew you craved him to a worrying level. It was true.

One time on the road someone came up behind you and threatened you. You slowly started to give the thief what he wanted, Joel wasn't going to allow that. He killed him.

It was the first time he had ever directly protected you. Not Ellie and you. Just you. You turned around, cheeks tear-stained and a lot of looks in your eyes. You faced him with nothing but fear, not of him but of the situation. Ellie looked between both of you with her fearful look.

Joel’s face fell seeing your scared expression. “Hey hey you're ok,” he whispered causelessly, setting down the weapon he used to save you. You clambered into his arms shocking the salt and pepper-haired man.

“Thank you, I'm so sorry,” you whispered back to him. His rough warm calloused hands found the back of your neck. His pine scent engulfed you as his strong arms wrapped around your body shielding you. He made you feel so safe.

It was a feeling you craved every day since then. You quietly knocked on his door with your left hand bringing your other hand to open his door. You peer into the room. You see his sleeping form tangled up in blankets.

“Joel?” you ask, peering over him. His snores fill the room. “Joel,” you say more sternly. You can see his eyes open taking in your surroundings. He shifts suddenly, whipping around to see you. You blink slightly embarrassed at waking him up. “What's wrong?” he said his sleepy face filled with concern.

The embarrassment fills your body into your bones. “I- nothing in sorry go back to sleep,” you whispered attempting to leave. Joel wasn't gonna have that. He sat up further, “Y/n.” His voice is stern. You paused, biting your lip before turning back.

“What’s goin’ on?” he asks, chest rising and falling more rapidly. It's now you notice he’s just in some plaid boxers. And only the boxers. His bare chest is illuminated by the moonlight leaking through his windows. “I just- I couldn't sleep I guess. Nightmare,” you mumbled your words scratching the back of your neck.

Suddenly the room didn't feel so cold. It felt hot. Like his laser gaze on you. Your eyes didn't catch his, fearful of what you might find. Scrutiny maybe? Judgment surely. “Hey,” he said causing you to look up.

“C’mere,” he whispered. This was different. The two of you, minus his life-saving hug, had never been so intimate before. Not physically anyway. Maybe emotionally sure. The occasional handhold when Ellie wasn't watching was all you both managed.

You took a sharp breath almost running to the opposite of the bed. He moved over to meet you sitting down slowly. “What was it about? Your dream?” he asked, his voice was sweet.

“Nightmare,” you corrected him with a small pout. He smiled sadly at you. “Alright, what was your nightmare about?” he asked looking you up and down. Your eyes fluttered slightly at his gaze suddenly nervous under his beautiful eye.

He must have noticed your sudden shift in demeanor and poor sweet Joel trying to help reached out his strong hand and placed it on top of yours. You felt a small flash of heat to your core as you tried not to think about how his hands felt. “It's ok, it's ok. M’ right here baby.” oh lord he had never used that word before.

It was most likely the early morning tired still in his brain. “It's not a big thing. It's silly really,” you whispered releasing a small amount of tension in your body leaning towards his form slightly.

He looked up at you from the bed, his puppy dog eyes seemingly able to think every thought before you thought it. He shook his head. “S’not silly. Now would ya please tell me what the hell is going on?” he asked, his voice low.

“I just was out there again. With you. And she and I don't know why or how but-but someone got us. They had a gun to your head Joel and it was so scary-” you started. Fiddling with your fingernails. His hand is placed over your hands, reminding you to stop picking.

He hated that you did that. ‘Tore up your damn hands’ he would always comment.

“I watched you die in front of me, but I couldn't do anything about it. I was so scared but Ellie I had to watch her. I don't remember much but all I know was I needed to get her out and I did and I woke up.” you rambled, and the words felt like they were slipping and pouring out of you.

Small tears prickled at your eyes as you tried to get a full breath in. It felt silly being worked up over a made-up tradegity. You let out an involuntary gasp, your hand coming up to cover your mouth as you stated at Joel. His face fell his shoulder relaxing as he sat up.

“Hey hey c’mere.” he nearly commands, moving his entire body towards you. If it's a command or not you listen. Sobs wrack through your body as he once again consumes your body, mind, and soul. “Hey hey pretty none of this cryin’ ok? I'm right here,” he says, shaking his head, and pulling your body into his lap.

His warm chest collided with your face as tears streamed down your cheek. He shushes you slightly, his hand finding the back of your neck rocking you slightly. “I know it's scary but it ain't real, I'd never leave you or Ellie ever pretty ok?” Joel’s voice vibrated through his body and you could feel it.

It didn't matter how much reminding you that he was still here you still cried. You weren't sure how long but you did. After what seemed like a few minutes, you were just idly sniffling against his chest.

It was time for you to leave the comfort and face your now cold bed. You wiped your tears away and began to sit up. “Thank you,” you whispered. The bed creaked under your weight shifting. The air between you seems to stills as you attempt to leave.

“I was thinking maybe you stay. For tonight.” his voice cuts the silence. You stop in your tracks confused. You turn back to him. He propped himself on one arm, the other resting on his leg. “Joel. You don't know what you're doing,” you whispered to him.

“Yeah. I do,” he says looking at the empty bed space in front of him. You held your breath as you sat down. “Are you sure you wanna do this?” you hear yourself asking.

“Just to make sure you're alright. Been thinkin’ about it for a while now anyways.” Joel says. His words are confident but his face betrays him. His face was filled with worry. “It's just we've never shared a bed before. I can't just go back to normal, after doing something intimate like this,” you confessed.

“I-I know,” Joel said looking down for a second before looking back up again. “If you're ok with it,” he said, looking down again. You don't reply with words. You simply climb into the bed with him. His scent fills your nose.

Joel settles as a big spoon wrapping his arm around your stomach. Slotting against you perfectly. Neither of you said anything with words but placing a soft kiss on his wrist spoke volumes. As his soft kiss on your neck spoke in response.

To say that was the best sleep of your life would be an understatement, to say the least. You soon enter slumber and let it take you. And take you it did.

Joel felt you snuggle into his side. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath he pictures a world where maybe he isn't so hard to love. Maybe the infected don't roam the earth. Maybe you're married and living somewhere in the suburbs. He has Sarah still, AND Ellie.

Maybe that isn't so fictional now he has both his girls in Jackson. You and Ellie that is. Maybe that's why he places another soft kiss, this time one on your hairline.

When you woke the next morning there was a severe lack of Joel next to you. Feeling your heart drop you now had to understand how on earth you were going to now have to face him. You were tangled in his sheets covered in his smell.

You sat up rubbing your eyes, swinging your legs over the bed, and yawning. You stepped quietly out of the room, letting the door softly click behind you. You heard the sizzle of food being cooked. You rounded the corner to find Ellie at the table scribbling away at her journal.

Joel was the one over the stove. His eyes met you. His face softened and a small smile overtook his concentrated features. He didn't look mad. “Oh guess who decided to join us,” Ellie said with a smirk, closing her notebook.

You roll your eyes at her, pulling the chair next to her. “Good morning to you too kiddo,” you said ruffling her hair. She grumbled fixing her hair. “Woke up just n’ time,” Joel said softly, holding a pan of what you assumed was scrambled eggs.

You pulled an empty plate from the stack of three sitting in the middle of the dining table. That was new. It's not like Joel excluded you from eating or something but he never exactly made a meal for all three of you. Minus when you guys tracked across the country together.

You smile up at him with messy hair and an empty plate. His gaze softens even more if that's possible, taking his utensil and shoveling a heavy amount of eggs (called it) and some sausage links onto your plate. “Thanks, Hun, Oh shit when did you pick these up?” you asked, picking up some utensils for you and Ellie.

You set them next to her and she hardly acknowledged it as Joel shoveled some onto her plate too. “Oh uh picked them up this morning,” Joel said nonchalantly. You smiled softly as she began to shovel food at lightning speed. Joel’s eyes look at his daughter before looking back at you.

You both shared a knowing look as you began to eat and Joel started to plate his own food, setting the pan back into the stove. “Where were you this morning?” Ellie asked, between gulps. “Uhhh.” you started as you were about to take a bite.

Joel’s eyes shoot up in panic. You blow a quick breath out before shoving food into your mouth. “What do you mean sweetheart?” you mumbled through your food gathering more food with your fork.

Joel follows suit and chooses to not say anything. “Well, I tried, to wake you up today so I could use your bathroom because the main one gets cold as shit, PLUS Joel doesn't clean up the water after he showers so my sock gets all fucking wet,” she says through heaves of food.

Joel’s face blushes a slight pink, slightly embarrassed by Ellie’s words. “I must have just been in the bathroom or something I don't know,” you said shrugging. The rest of the breakfast is spent in relative peace and quiet until Ellie finishes and stands up abruptly.

“Seconds if you want 'em’” Joel says to her nodding to the stove. “Fuck yeah,” she says before checking her watch. “Oh shit. I gotta go.” Ellie says, realizing the time. She places her dish in the sink. Before running off to her room.

“Hey. Where are you running off to?” Joel shouts after her. She doesn't respond, instead she comes bounding out with her pack in hand frantically looking around for her jacket. “Fucking jacket,” she mumbles.

You smile to yourself remembering what it was like to be a teenage girl. She slips it on running to the door. “Hey where are you off to?” you ask, turning around in your chair. She turns back out of breath.

“Friends. I'm gonna go see friends,” she says, placing her on her hip. She must think you were born yesterday. “Oh friends huh?” you say scrunching your eyebrows.

“Yeah. Friends.” She reasons. “You sure you're not going to see Cat?” you ask tilting your head. “I-am not getting into this with you,” she says, rolling her eyes and promptly leaving. You pierce your lips together and look at the man sitting across from you.

He stays silent as you both eat. Shying away from eye contact. But he didn't seem mad. “Got you somthin’ for ya, when you're done w’breakfast I’ll give it to ya,” he says nodding, still unable to look you in the eye.

“You could give it to me now, right?” you say with a slight smirk. A smirk tugs on Joel's features as he caves. He walks over to his jacket hanging up on a coat rack. He shuffles through the pocket and reveals a small bag of something.

For being a man who has survived this long it was almost funny seeing him sheepishly hand you chocolate. You gasp as you take it. “Joel!” you say immediately taking a piece out.

He doesn't say anything, just smiling to himself at your reaction. “If I didn't know any better I'd think you're being sweet on me,” you said placing the piece in your mouth. Joel continues not to say anything just staring at you trying his hardest not to smile.

His silence causes you to look up. “Oh my god you are being sweet!” you said. “Saw it when I was picking up breakfast stuff today and figured it would make you happy,” he said, placing his hands on his hips like it wasn't a big deal.

“Joel Miller has a crush on me!” you sang while taking another piece of chocolate. “M’ a little old for a crush don't you think?” he asked. “You're never too old for a crush Joel,” you said smiling.

There was a pause. Your eyes met each other and a certain electricity filled the air. It made your stomach erupt with butterflies. The beat of your heart doubled, and he took a slow step toward you. You leave the chocolate on the table, standing up.

“Yeah? M’not too old?” he asks as his body approaches yours. He was referencing the crush joke but you knew his words were deeper than that. He was asking you if he was too old. He sure as hell wasn't.

“You can never be too old, not to me at least,” you whispered. You tried to be full voiced but it didn't come out that way. Joel's eyes seemed to go darker as he stopped in front of you. There was a split second of hesitation before you felt his lips crash onto yours.

“Mmmm Joel,” you whispered against his lips. “Shh I know,” he whispered back. His rough hands find the sides of your face. His lips were surprisingly soft as they met with yours.

After a moment or two, he pulls away, resting his forehead on top of yours. Joel wasn't good with words, never has been, and probably won't be. This was a big change for him. Allowing himself to love you. God, it felt so good.

“M’gonna be late f’patrols.” He whispered, not moving. “You should probably leave then,” you replied as he pulled you into him. “Yeah. I will. Just need to say goodbye s’ all.” he offered you. That wasn't it and you both knew it.

Who knew Joel could be such a softie? You were glad either way. “Goodbye Joel,” you whispered with a smile. He let out a huff, pulling away and while you tried to remain stoic in the moment the loss of his warmth was such a tragic feeling.

Joel grudgingly got his things together and set out to the stables. His mind swirls with thoughts of you. Jesus he needs to get a grip he isn't some teenage boy who's just had his first kiss. But he sure feels like it.

The days seem to fly by you both as trying to get a handle on your life in Jackson is taking time. It's been four days since Joel kissed you, and you haven't had a moment alone since. Both of you work different patrolling shifts, or Ellie was there, and the only time to sneak in some hugs or touches was fleeting and Joel wanted to be a gentleman about the situation.

That doesn't mean you two weren't talking, however. As Joel came back from a later patrol shift covering for someone he found you and Ellie curled up with a book. “So wait, why doesn't Jo like Laurie?” he heard Ellie asking.

“Because sweetheart it's not that simple-” you started. “Ugh, whatever,” Ellie said, cutting you off. Joel rounded the corner. “Oh hey, the dinosaur is back!” Ellie said with a smile before looking at you. You poorly held back a smile as Joel rolled his eyes.

He plopped next to you on the couch wrapping his arm around your body. Ellie mindlessly snuggles into your side. It was so uniquely domestic. Joel wishes he could find an opportunity to talk to you about all of this. An opportunity doesn't come.

You don't miss his kindness, however. Every day when he cooks breakfast for you or leaves a secret note (which is adorable by the way). Telling you about how he needs a moment alone with you and it almost becomes a race to find it.

To find the time to exist with no eyes to find you. To explore what you two were before making things ‘public’. You agreed. Your feelings feel like they are spilling over into your whole life.

One night as it takes you and Joel every ounce of being not to jump across the table to be with each other Ellie is oddly quiet. “What's up kiddo?” you ask. “Uh, there is a sleepover at Cat’s house,” Ellie said as casually as she could.

Joel dropped his fork over his plate. Your eyes met. “Oh? Anyone else… gonna be there?” you ask her to try to be calm. The thought of Ellie going over to her girl… friend’s house for a sleepover would raise the heart rate of any parents but especially Joel.

“Oh yeah Jessie and Dina will be too,” she said, nodding secretly crossing her fingers. “A boy? No. You're staying here tonight.” Joel said firmly, re-picking up his fork. “What? Are you fucking kidding me?” Ellie said, annoyed.

Joel raised his hand about to explain to her why exactly she couldn't go but you interjected. “Joel,” you said calmly. “Maybe she should go.” both of them shoot you bewildered looks. He begins to shake his to disagree with you. “Joel Cat’s house is a short walk and if there are other people there it will be safe right?” you ask looking over at Ellie.

She shakes her head admitly. “Yeah, totally safe.” She reasons. He clenches his jaw, brow furrowing. “Fine. But if I find out any funny business happened so help me god m’ never letting you leave this house again,” he said sternly, warning her with a finger.

Eventually, Ellie scarf down all of her food and comes out with a little bag full of sleepover stuff and just about runs out of the house. And for the first time in days, it's just you and Joel.

You turn the big overhead light off sticking to the lamps in your room. You had just gotten snuggled into your bed when a small knock on your door disrupts you. “Come in,” you say and the door creaks open.

Joel in all of his domestic glory walks in. “Hey.” you breathe out with a smile. He turns to shut the door, his head held low. He sits on the edge of your bed. “Needed to talk to ya. W’out Ellie hearing.” he reasons gesturing in the air.

This wasn't what you thought was going to happen. “Joel? Baby? What's wrong?” you asked scared of why he was acting the way he was. He turns to face you slowly. His eyes were sad, his lip pouring and quivering slightly.

“Hey-” you said, setting your book down, moving to capture him in a hug. He turns looking down. You can see the tears start to fall from his eyes. You waste no time crawling down your bed and wrapping your arms around his shoulders trying to comfort him.

He leans into your touch as he cries. It's the first time you have ever seen him cry before. “Joel,” you whisper, sliding your hand to his face. “M’just too scared to lose ya. If we keep this up this little dream we have. I could lose it all. Me. M’ not fast enough, O-or I move too slow- ill me the cause of losing the two people in this world who love me back.” he confesses.

The words weigh on your chest like a thousand bricks. You opened your mouth to try and help but nothing came out. You wrapped your arms around him, squeezing almost to try and ground him.

A sob wracked through his body. “Joel, I am here because of you,” you said at last. He doesn't move, just inhaling a stuttered breath. “For the entire time I have known you I have not doubted your abilities for a damn second,” you reassured him. He finally looks up.

His sad puppy dog eyes make your heart hurt. Your hands find the sides of his face. “I am here because of you. I am safe because of you ok? And Joel even if something did happen it wouldn't be your fault. You're not responsible for us, ok?” you tried to reason with him.

“I am. I'm supposed to protect what is mine I-” he stops himself, his eyes flashing with fear. “Maybe it's our turn to protect what is ours Joel,” you whispered to the very broken man in front of you.

“And you are ours.” you finished, sitting up away from him. “Don't even know why m’here m’sorry,” he says standing up. Your hand reaches for his arm. You shake your head slightly encouraging him to sit back down.

He doesn't respond, only cautiously leaning in. You fill the space for him, your lips meeting in perfect harmony. This kiss, unlike your first one, had a need. An urge to be close. And as you slowly leaned back Joel followed you almost chasing you so far your head hit your pillows.

His bigger body practically cages you in. While you loved the kissing you needed more and you knew the salt-and-pepper-haired man needed it too. Your hand left the side of his face and trailed down to his belt buckle. You pulled it slightly.

The mischievous interaction left Joel practically melting in your hands. You decided to continue your humor. Your hand trailed down further meeting his bulge. Was he hard from kissing? Cute. Your fingers dragged over his member.

“Hard already?” you asked, slightly teasing him. With your flirty voice. His dark eyes glanced up from his forehead. “I ain't hard yet darlin’,” he said through an amused chuckle.

He does not miss the way your jaw gapes openly slightly. Shit, he was big. “And you're this big? Old where Miller.” you quipped after picking up your jaw. He chuckled slightly, a small pink tint forming on his tear-stained cheeks.

You smirk, continuing to massage his dick over his clothes. Continue to open your mouth and kiss him as you feel the warmth under your hand slowly grow hard. “Mmm fuck, you are making it hard to leave darlin’,” he said out of breath.

“Good,” you said, going back in for a kiss but this time on his jawline. You continue to pepper them down to his neck, sucking and nibbling as you go down. “You're so warm Joel,” you murmur, pulling away. “Yeah?”

“Mhm,” you nod, biting your lip deciding you couldn't take any more teasing. Your hand finds his and slowly brings it to your torso, his eyes seemingly glossing over at realizing what you were doing.

“I need you, Joel,” you whispered. “I gotcha, promise, I've gotcha,” he said using both of his hands to slowly pull your sleep pants and panties down. The cold hair clinging to your warm skin.

“Fuck baby,” he said looking at your perfect glistening cunt. “I need you Joel please,” you begged. “Shhh I'll give it to ya jus’ gotta be patient.” he reprimanded, sliding his hands up your shirt. His hands were warm as he slowly groped your tits. You whined feeling yourself ache in between your legs.

Your arousal oozes out, tempting Joel. “Sit up,” he demands, gesturing with his fingers. You eagerly sit up. He removed your shirt quickly, his eyes marveling at your naked form. He'd seen a few women in his lifetime and none of them were as beautiful and breathtaking as you.

He must have been staring for too long because your voice broke him out of his trance. “Joel?” your voice was so sweet it could have killed him then and there. “Yeah…” he said trailing off finally peeling his eyes away from your tits and to your face.

“Can you take your shirt off too?” you asked so politely. Joel looked down to see he was still in his clothes, feeling his now hard cock strained against his pants was a suffocating feeling but Joel was a gentleman and there is no universe he would cum before you.

“Course’,” he said, discarding his flannel, his shirt goes next. You let out a moan looking at his beautiful body. Broad strong shoulders and arms down to his little old man tummy. Fuck.

Your hooded eyes filled with love (and lust) must have done something to him because those same strong arms and hands connected to your naked thighs. Rubbing them up and down.

You both stayed silent as he slowly encroached on your sensitive bundle. Eventually, his hands made it all the way up as he observed the way you clenched around nothing. “Joel I'm ready please I need you.”

That was all he needed to slowly start rubbing your clit. You were slick with arousal, his finger eventually dipping in, and your leg shook with the feeling of him adding another finger.

He pumped slowly but steadily, hitting that soft spot just right. “Oh fuck Joel.” you gasped. It had been so long since you felt this from anyone, well maybe something similar… you had never felt this good with anyone else ever before.

“S’that feel good?” He asked me to bring his thumb to rub your clit. You frantically nod. “Please come kiss me.” you begged him. He eagerly bent down to you. Devouring all your moans as he continued his ministrations.

You felt the familiar feeling in your belly, like a coil snapping as your breath became frantic and your whines increased. Joel knew your climax had reached when you clenched around his fingers. You let out a loud moan as you pulled away for air, legs shaking violently.

Joel watched with admiration as your face contorted with pleasure. He slowly pulled out of you, if he felt like he was melting before he had to be a puddle by now.

You looked up at it and you couldn't help but smile. Your hand reached out for his belt. You tugged on it, he took a deep breath trying to prepare for what he has wanted to since he met you.

“So needy mm?” he says undoing his belt and tossing it to the floor. His jeans follow suit, his erection slapping against his tummy.

Precum leaked for the tip. He was eager. “Only for you Miller.” he chuckled, placing his hand above your head as he aligned himself with you.

“Are you sure about this?” he asked, looking into your eyes for any sign of discomfort. He didn't find any. “I'm 100% sure,” you reassured and spread your legs as best you could. Using the headboard as an anchor he slowly pushed into you.

“Fuck.” whimpered as your warm soft walls clenched around him. A piercing pain filled your body as he bottomed out. You sucked in a sharp breath.

“You need me to stop? It's not too late.” he said, reassuring you. You shook your head. “Joel I need you to fuck me,” you demanded. He understood and began to do exactly that.

You moaned out for each other. Nails scratching his beautiful back with every movement. If it had been a while since you'd done this it must have been decades for Joel because he felt like he was gonna let go at any moment.

“M’ not gonna last,” he whispered in your ear, tugging slightly. “Me either.” you whimpered back. As your bodies collided your coils tightened and tightened.

“God dammit. Fuck, you are so fucking tight baby. Squeezing me as you love me huh?” he growled from on top of you. “I. Do. Love. You.” you squeaked after his thrusts. And that must have been what he needed to hear because his hips stuttered and he practically kissed your cervix with his cum.

Which was enough for you as you clamped down on him. After a minute he pulled out of you gasping for air. “Fuck Joel you're so good.” you praised sitting up and rolling on top of him. He peppered your face with little kisses.

“I love you too baby.”

—

“Hey Ellie, me and Joel have something to tell you,” you said, approaching her as she sat at the table. “Oh shit what's up?” she asked. “You can start using my bathroom so you won't have to share,” you said and she cocked her head to the side.

“Well, actually you can use that whole room…” you said with a small smile forming on your lips. Your eyes darted to Joel who had been stressing out over having this conversation.

“Because me and Joel are gonna be sharing a room ok?” you said plainly. She looked between you two for a moment then smiled. “Oh shit! Congrats!” she said before going back to her book. You and Joel begin to walk away but not before Ellie has the last word.

“Just don't let me hear you guys.”

“Ellie!”

[kiddbegins]

Couch - A. Hotchner

Aaron hotchner x fem!reader

You weren’t always comfortable around Aaron hotchner. It was impossible to be right away. Stoic new boss that never looked at anyone in anyway other than with daggers for eyes.

He intimidated you from day 1. It took a good handful of cases before you were used to the gore of the job and he seemed to notice when it got to you.

That led to him making sure you were okay, which opened up that line of communication. You knew you could go to him. That he was there.

Not that you never thought that. He was your boss of course. A well respected and known fbi agent. You’d seen him in the news plenty of times before you’d met him face to face.

Regardless of how things started, now, a handful of years later, you were close. Things were shaky for his home life and you were a shining star in the sky that kept him sane.

Though he’d never admit that to you.

In the same sense, he was that for you. This last case back in Connecticut was hard. Hit home. You’d almost lost the team all at once. It wasn’t easy.

And since then, sleeping wasn’t either. The few hours of sleep were met with reliving that exact moment, waking up right after your eyes fell to the fact nobody had gotten out.

So you just stayed awake. It wasn’t necessarily on purpose but if you could, you’d find an excuse to do it. Even if it meant that the following morning you’d be leaning on your palm on your desk fighting to keep your eyes open.

It wasn’t unnoticed. By anyone. Though nobody wanted to bring it up. Just like former problems, they figured it was something you’d work through on your own. It worked for Reid, it should work for you too. Should.

Except it didn’t, and not even a week later and a good deal of hours under-slept, Hotch was calling you into his office. How could you possibly do your job if the bags under your eyes were dark enough to match his suit?

He didn’t accept the usual argument of you being fine, he never did. “Seriously, Hotch, I’ll get over it-“ he held his hand up, standing.

“You’re taking a nap.” His voice firm, not allowing an argument. Sure it was unprofessional, but he knew you wouldn’t go home and even if you would, that didn’t mean you’d sleep.

The only way he could be sure you at least tried, was in the same room as him. And since they weren’t out on a case, looking to share a hotel room, his office’s couch would do.

“What?”

He gestured to the couch, moving the small red pillow from the middle of the cushions to the end and patted it, “lay down.”

Once again, no argument allowed. When you did, he shrugged his jacket off, putting it over you like a blanket.

“Hotch-“

“Sh,” a finger held up to his lips. “Try and sleep. I’m going back to do work.” And he did. As if you weren’t laying there, confused and staring at the front of his desk.

It took awhile, his pen scribbling across paper and those papers then turning the only sound aside from both of your breathing that you could hear.

Eventually though, you did fall asleep. Surprising to you, nothing woke you up until you nearly rolled off the couch and scared yourself awake.

Hotch was still at his desk but the lights were out, his lamp shining some of it onto his face.

Slowly you stretched, looking over, catching his eye as he did the same. “Morning.” He said, checking the time with a slight chuckle, one you’d hardly heard.

It was actually almost 8 and he was reading over a report for the third time in an attempt to let you rest the best you could.

“Mhm,” you were too tired to make words come out of your mouth as you stood, his jacket slipping before you caught it. “You shoulda w’ke me up before.” Your words muttered together.

“You needed rest.”

“On your couch specifically?”

“Would you have got it at home?”

“…no.”

Hotch gave you a slight smile, “there’s your answer.” He held his hand out for his jacket, placing it on his desk when you reached and handed it over.

“Thank you.” You muttered quietly, fiddling with your fingernails nervously.

“Don’t thank me.” He softly spoke, an aura entrapping the two of you.

That became a bit of a thing between you. The naps weren’t terribly frequent, but enough that you could pin the connection between them. He made you feel safe. A reminder that he was there.

At home, it was silent, too many things could run through your mind. But in his office, he was right there. Writing, typing, quietly talking on the phone, existing right in your face.

You’d woken the other day to him softly telling Jack goodnight and it made your heart just about burst right then and there. You waited a decent while before actually sitting up and alerting him of your actual presence.

There was even a point he left you to sleep in the office and nothing. No dice. You couldn’t sleep a wink. He came back in and you were out in the next five minutes.

Something about Aaron hotchner was just so simply comforting and your body craved his presence.

JOIN HOTCH'S TAGLIST HERE!

tags: @luvonstyles @doctorreid187 @its-just-me-chey @oliviabbb @lillisummers @zzagataa @alexxavicry @felix-fan @thestarrynightslover @hiireadstuff

[certifiedsexed]

hi there! this isn’t about sex itself, but since periods are usually a part of sex ed and i’ve literally just been woken up because the cramps were bad enough, i thought i would ask — is it normal to be in a lot of pain when you’re on your period?

context: i still live with my abusive parents, who don’t let me take any kind of pain medication after a suicide attempt at thirteen, so i know that this problem might just be that i need to take a strong painkiller. also the pain doesn’t ever last more than three days? like the first three days (and sometimes the days leading up to it) of my period are always hell but then it’s fine, i have no pain afterwards.

but the problem is that the pain is… bad. like being woken up in the middle of the night because my sides hurt and my legs hurt isn’t uncommon, and there’s this weird thing where i’m scared to use the toilet during these first three days because it makes my butt and my sides hurt so much that i genuinely can’t move and have to bite myself to stop myself from screaming. sometimes i’ll be in so much pain, usually in my sides but also sometimes in my stomach or legs or my butt, that i can’t even move, so i just kind of… have to lie pressed into my bed and hold my breath.

my mother has always just told me that she had worse pain when she still used to get her period, and that i’d be completely fine if i just listened to her and used a hot water bottle (i have poor circulation, so hot/cold stuff just doesn’t really feel great for me usually), and i’ve always just kind of accepted that. i know it’s common for people who get periods to talk about how painful things like cramps are, but i genuinely usually feel so miserable for the first couple days of my period that if i don’t need to get out my bed, i literally won’t at all.

i’m just wondering… is everyone who gets periods in as much pain as i usually am, at least for the first couple days? or, since i know that people experience periods differently, are people in more/less pain than i am but it’s fine since this isn’t that bad and i should just take medication each month for it? idk, but ever since i started to get periods they’ve genuinely always made me feel so so bleak and in agony, and i’m someone i’d consider who has a maybe above ‘average’ pain tolerance (i have chronic back pain, migraines, and health issues that make it easy for me to sprain/fracture my ankles which i’ve unironically managed to do about eight times in the past two years — again, unfortunately all of this with mostly no painkillers unless i can get them from the school first aid box), so i just… don’t know anymore, but i thought it couldn’t hurt to ask.

anyways, unrelated but i really do love this blog — the reblogs are always good things to read as someone who’s still unpacking being raised by very puritanical parents, and the asks always offer good advice too, very empathetically in a way that sometimes catches me off guard (there was one post on here that was something about how the asker’s father would belittle them and i think your reply said something like ‘it’s not your fault and nothing’s wrong with that aspect of you’… which i know sounds obvious but that was something that i don’t think had ever been obvious to me ever since my father started doing the same when i was younger. it was really comforting to hear, is what i mean, and your replies often are. so thank you for that! and for the time + energy i can imagine it takes to run this, you post/rb so often!)

Hi! This is absolutely a sex ed question, you're right!

So, first, let me make one thing clear: no! You are not supposed to be in this level of pain on your period. Some pain is understandable but once it gets to the point it's bad/debilitating in Any fashion, something is going wrong.

But I also want to say, being in an abusive living situation can fuck up your periods. And so can being restricted from pain relief, which-just in case you're not aware-is another type of abuse.

But what you're talking about sounds like more than just a lack of basic pain relief. That's very disabling, even if it doesn't last long. It may be that intense reactions to periods run in your family [especially since your mother mentioned experiencing something similar] but that's still something you should be getting something like specialized pain meds for or even stopping your periods altogether.

What you're talking about, especially on top of an abusive living situation, is very unhealthy for you to have to deal with.

Not everyone is in that much pain. Some people are but that's a medical condition. It's a disability! What you're talking about is a disability. It can be caused by PMS or endometriosis or PMDD or it could even be connected to whatever causes your other chronic pain but it's still very much something your parents should be getting you checked out for.

Even if your mother had the exact same pain on her period, that doesn't mean you should have to suffer through it, especially not with her revoking your access to basic pain relief. That's all completely unacceptable and I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.

I'm not sure how helpful this is but I hope it's at least good to know the pain levels you're dealing with are unacceptable and Not "normal" period pain.

Also I'm so glad you're learning and enjoying the blog, especially the advice. I also grew up in an abusive household so to hear it's helping someone else in a similar situation means the world to me, fr. 💕 Sending love, Anon. <3

[windvexer]

O ye wise Chicken

I call to thee

For advice on a matter

Harken to me!

So anyways, I have always had incredible luck, my partner on the other hand… let’s say that it’s not the worst in the universe. If you were trying to turn someone’s luck around, who was almost radioactively unlucky, how would you go about it? Thank you for your time and for answering all of our questions, oh wise Chicken! 🙌🏻

Good evening.

For any magical operation where some concept is out-of-order (luck, prosperity, relationships, etc) it's not always helpful to just add in more of the concept (conjure luck, conjure relationships, and so on).

Absence-of-concept is only ever one reason for things to be out of order, and it may be a symptom rather than a cause itself. There are many reasons why any particular concept could be malfunctioning.

Therefore, you've got two options: figure out what is causing the malfunction and then address it, or go in blind with a broad spectrum plan of action.

Divination, probably especially energy reading, can pinpoint why luck is out-of-order. However this may be a tricky read to tackle, and also requires the skill to make a custom plan of action. Also, exploring and thinking is tiring, and it can be easier to just take action.

Any time something is out-of-order - luck, job, relationships, timing, what have you - try a plan of action similar to this one, and see if it helps. You should take careful notes of all the actions you take, because if it doesn't help, you will need those notes to help troubleshoot.

First, an offering to the spirit world. The function is to please helpful spirits and stir them to action; but also to appease unhelpful spirits who may be causing trouble. This offering may be done once, but the ritual should be undertaken seriously, with as pleasing of gifts as can be reasonably offered. Jason Miller has a nice general offering in his book Protection and Reversal Magick, which is a good format to follow.

No matter what ritual you follow, it is vital to include a portion that explains this offering is being done out of respect to the spirit world, to soothe any tensions, and to supplicate aid from any helpful parties.

Second, a personal cleansing and hex-breaking. A person does not need to have actually been hexed or cursed to benefit from hex-breaking. Find or develop a spell which breaks up, destroys, banishes, or evacuates jealous and deleterious energies from around the unlucky person. In fact, any spell to break the evil eye will likely serve. Perform a personal cleansing before or after (or both) to wash off any last trace of jealousy cast on by another.

Third, a personal amulet generally designed to protect against the evil eye (for some reason I suppose I think this is an evil eye situation), but also against bad luck in general: have it rebuff or turn away these things, sort of like a bumper that will bounce your unlucky person off of misfortune and steer them in a new direction.

(For those not dealing with luck, protect against whatever it is you want to stop - protect against loneliness, for example. Envision that you do not have absence of friendship energy but rather intrusion of aloneness energy. This is not necessarily literal, but it is a thought exercise to help develop strategic plans of action and deploy magic in a greater variety of ways)

Fourth, any spell to conjure what is desired. So for your unlucky partner, any spell to conjure or manifest luck. This can be done either as a one-off spell, or something continuous; if you want to do more magic, then do both. A one-shot spell to get things started and a continuous spell to carry the torch. Explore Allspice for luck spells, as well as any cultural luck charms.

Fifth, engage in cultural rituals to bring about what you desire. For luck, a lucky rabbit's foot, found dimes, numerical clovers, or hung horseshoes are all cultural symbols in these parts; choose one, and invest in it. This is a different kind of magic - folk magic, if you like - that's more about linking and aligning to the whole.

Someone radioactively unlucky is, perhaps, unplugged from the whole. The natural exchange passes around them without touching them. A cultural ritual is an action of reconnection, to indicate they are stepping back into the game. At least, this is what I think.

Anyway if this is all too much, I highly recommend that you, Anon, do not skip #2. Throw in a protection amulet and I expect things might level out.

[moonstruckme]

hiiiii mae!! hope ur having a good day/night, i was wondering if you would do a emt!marauders (or just remus) fic with a reader who maybe has past medical trauma or something so she really hates going to the doctors and avoids unplanned visits at all costs and one day she gets hurt doing something and she tells herself she’s fine but she’s really not (maybe she has like a concussion or something) and she tries to tell the boys she’s okay and she doesn’t need to go to the hospital but they’re like “yes you do u literally don’t know what day it is” and she kinda starts freaking out and they comfort her????

so sorry if you’ve done something like this you’ve written a LOT of fics (which is amazing i love them all) and i haven’t gotten the chance to read them all yet! anyways hope you have a great day i love ur fics so much!!!!!!

Thank you for your request, love you <3

cw: concussion, hospital mention, implied medical fear/past trauma

emt!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 770 words

“This is supposed to be the sort of thing that only happens to old ladies,” Sirius mutters. “Look at James, dollface.” 

James’ smile is encouraging. “He knows he’s full of shit. We see people fall in showers all the time, it’s not an age thing. You don’t have to be geriatric for soap to be slippery.” 

You know, distantly, that they’re both trying to keep things light for your benefit, but their playacting isn’t helping you. You feel trapped, backed into a corner, and your lovely boyfriends who only want the best for you feel like your captors. 

Sirius clicks off the light he was shining in your eyes just as Remus comes back with your clothes. They exchange a look you don’t like. 

“Here, sweetheart, put this on.” Remus helps you get a sweatshirt over your head, extra careful to hold the collar away from the aching bump on the back of your head. 

You stand from the bed bemusedly as he starts putting your sweatpants on for you, too. You don’t love the vibe of all this coddling, either; the boys are usually only this delicate with you when they’re very concerned, very pitying, or both. 

“What’s going on?” you ask, though you already know. It’s not as if you would usually hang about in your towel all night after a shower, but they’re getting you dressed for a reason. 

James’ brows twitch together sympathetically. Sirius’ voice is gentle. “Baby, we need to go get your head looked at.” 

Your upset blooms fast and hot, tears choking you. “Why?” 

“You have a concussion, sweet girl. It seems fairly bad already, and it could get worse.” 

“But you’re…you always say hospitals can’t even do anything for those.” You know you sound childish, whiny and difficult, but you can’t help yourself. Your boyfriends don’t seem to hold it against you. James rubs your arm while Remus pulls your socks on with sweet, lingering touches. A tear squeezes out of your eye. “Why do I have to go?” 

“You’re right, there’s not much they can do,” says Remus. His voice is calm and even, a balm to your frazzled nerves. “But a concussion can be dangerous, and without tests we won’t know how dangerous it is or if there’s anything they can help with.” 

“That’s all we’re going for, angel,” James says lightly. “Just some tests. It won’t take terribly long, and we can stay with you most of the time.” 

You’re hardly hearing him, shaking your head despite the way it aches. More tears crest your cheeks, your breaths wet and quick. “Can’t we wait and go tomorrow?”

“Oh, sweetheart.” James takes your hand, squeezing your fingers. “We can’t, my love, but it’s going to be okay.” 

“I really can’t.” You pull your hand from his, wiping underneath your eyes. Your hair is still wet from the shower, cold seeping into your fresh sweatshirt. “I can’t do it. Please don’t make me.” Your voice chokes into a quiet squeak on the last few words. 

Remus coos and sits beside you on the bed, wrapping you up in a hug. You cry into his shoulder as he rocks you gently, murmuring against the side of your head. “Please,” you try again. 

He holds you closer. “I know, darling.” His voice is a low whisper. “I know it’s hard for you, and I know it’s scary, but we’ll be there with you. It’s not going to be as bad as you’re thinking. What we’re going for is really very simple, and Sirius can explain it to you on the way, hm? You’ll be alright.” 

When you calm some, he goes to warm the car, passing you off to Sirius and James to get your shoes on. 

“Nothing’s gonna happen to you, baby,” Sirius promises, kissing the shell of your ear as he walks you outside. His arm is heavy around your shoulders and James is quick to take your hand after locking the door behind you, bolstering you for what’s ahead. “You think we’re gonna let you get hurt? This is going to be the easiest hospital visit you ever had. We run this place, they’ll have us in and out.” 

“I wouldn’t say we run it,” Remus says drily as you three pile into the backseat. “More like we engage with it, in twelve hour shifts, four to five times a week.” 

“But we do have lots of friends,” James chips in. 

“Exactly.” Sirius busies himself with wiping the last of your tears while James gets your seatbelt on. “Like the radiographer at Bellevue. You’ll see, baby. We’ve got you covered.”

[hotchs-big-hands]

Okay.

I had to take a break for a few days. I couldn’t even look at anything related to CM/Aaron Hotchner related bc it wasn’t safe. Which sounds dumb but here we are anyway. I’m sad I missed Halloween, I had a spooky fic for it but maybe I’ll post it anyway sometime.

I am still very wary of fandom space. And I probably pushed away a bit chunk of the fandom with my last post but honestly I don’t rly care. Fandom is not a safe place for anyone who isn’t a skinny white girl. That’s just a fact and no, I don’t just mean the CM fandom, I mean any fandom. The rest of us who don’t fit into that particular category have to fight hard and work hard to make spaces that are safe for us. And even then we still have ppl who will try to tell us what to do, or to make us believe otherwise about the characters we love.

I want to make it clear that I am not bothered that the person on AO3 didn’t want to read my fic. Nor do I care that they didn’t want to read it bc it is for plus size readers. I genuinely don’t care what ppl want to do and not do. Read or don’t read my works, that’s your choice. It’s the way they worded it. Like I somehow deceived them into reading gross yucky plus size reader stuff. Plus the fact that they were either a troll or genuinely fucking blind because on AO3 I have that it’s for plus size ppl in the fucking title AND the tags. Easily visible. But yeah, I was already having a bad time online anyway because fatphobia is getting a lot worse online again. So this was just the straw that broke the camels back.

Their comment is gone now, they deleted it themselves but even if they hadn’t, I just want to say you shouldn’t go after ppl and harass them. This doesn’t help anyone, and certainly won’t help them change their ways. They will double down most often and their distain for the communities they already don’t like will just grow. That’s all I’ll say on that now.

I’ll be back to rbing stuff and maybe writing things today, but again I am very wary of fandom now.

Thanks for reading.

[andypantsx3]

in the nicest most complimentary way possible ur writing style is so nostalgic. it takes me back to when i was a tween, something about the dialogue, characterization and flow of the story feels like a little time capsule. i’ve never watched mha in my life but your work is such a delight to read anyway :]

Ahhhhhh thank you so much!! I do take that as a compliment, it must be all that Meg Cabot at an impressionable age forming the backbone of my storytelling lmao. I am also so beyond honored you read my stories even when you haven't even seen bnha?? I am very lucky you found me anyway 🥺🥺🥺 thank you for being so open minded.

(I would also love to know what your actual fandoms are and if you have any recommendations for other stuff I should watch!! 👀)

[dyscanthe]

Dreams Grasp Within A Small Fist

Chapter 1: Fun Excursion

This is a rough translation of the story. You may encounter minor errors on the way, please be understanding and considerate (⁠*⁠´⁠ω⁠｀⁠*⁠) With that being said, enjoy reading!

ITALICS - Narration; BOLD ITALIC - Dialogues

— Eastern Land of Shanlong —

One day during November. We came to the eastern lands in Shanlong along with a few butlers. In addition to the butlers, there are others who came along with us.

Children: Miyaji-sensei! The atmosphere here is completely different from the Central lands! 

Child 1: I mean, it’s very calm and beautiful.

Child 2: The central lands and the eastern lands… I like both of them

Miyaji: Ah yes, both are lovely places with lots of history. By going to places with a  different culture, you’ll end up learning more about the culture of that place. You can also learn about the good qualities of the culture where you live.

Miyaji: It’s a good opportunity. This time, let’s get to know a lot about different cultures.

Children: Yes!!

Child 3: Muu-chan, let’s go see the other side together!

Muu: Wait! Don’t leave the butlers behind!

Child 3:It’s okay, it’s just right over there!

Tap… tap… tap…

Fennesz: Hehe, the children are very happy.

I’m glad you brought me along.

Nac: Going to a place different from the usual, is just exciting in a way. I’m sure for the children that this trip will be a wonderful experience.

Miyaji: Yes, but… I didn’t think this trip would be possible. Nac-kun, Fennesz-kun, Fleur-kun and Muu-kun, they all accompanied me. Hanamaru and Yuhan decided to guide us too and the Aruji who gave me permission… I’m really grateful for everyone. 

Fleur: Hehe, I’m glad to be able to help you Miyaji-sensei.

Hanamaru: I remember we also skipped work at the mansion… I mean I’m honoured to be of service to you Miyaji-sensei.

Yuhan: Please stop saying “we” all at once, Hanamaru-san. Even I’m like you, it’s uncomfortable for me to think that there’s an ulterior motive to this. 

Fennesz: Now now, both of you.

Miyaji: Anyways, thanks to all of you.

Fleur: Along with the children this time, the purpose of this trip is to experience the eastern land’s culture right?

MIyaji: Yes, and as I said before…It’s very important to know what is it like to lean about another culture. Through these few days of this trip, the things you can’t do in the central lands… I’d be happy if the children can experience a lot of new things altogether.

Nac: It’s going to be a fun and educational trip indeed.

(It’s like a school trip…)

Tap.. tap.. tap..

Child 1: Miyaji-sensei over there! They’re selling interesting food!

Child 2: It’s not just about food! There’s a lot of things for sale that you don’t know about!

Miyaji: I see, that’s interesting.

Muu: Hah.. Haaaah.. children. Everyone’s energetic. I can’t run anymore.

Fleur: Muu’s been overweight lately, I think he should exercise a little more.

Go for it, Muu.

Hanamaru: Now kiddo, don’t be so excited or else you won’t have the energy til the end of the day, right? Later today, I’m going to another city.

Children: Oh yeah! The next city was…

Yuhan: Yes, further down the river from here is a town called Janshi. Since it’s located along the river, it’s also the base for logistics on the river.

I see.

Yuhan: The temperature there is lower than here in Shanlong because it sometimes snows at this time of the year. Before entering Janshi, one should take measures to protect oneself from the cold.

Miyaji: Then it’s okay, I told the children to bring warm clothes too.

Fleur: Aruji-sama’s warm clothes are also here, don’t worry.

Thank you.

And after going around Shanlong for a while, using a ship further downstream to the river, we headed to the town of Janshi.

[celestailio]

the beginning ( raiden ei x fem!reader )

outline: a taisho ceremony is to be celebrated in your honour. you have climbed the ranks of the shogunate to the position of the general. your heart feels light. who knows what else fate had in store for you.

conatins: raiden ei x fem!reader, sfw, makoto appearance, somewhat pinning, traditional japanese ceremony, and rituals.

wc: 1.5k

a/n: i am finally flushing these writings out after having them in my drafts for so long. disclaimer! i am sorry if something was not culturally appropriate. i researched my best. please correct me if there are any errors. eek, i'm so excited. i think i am starting to love writing. anyway, enjoy ＼(^-^)／

this fic is a prequel to the longing but can be read as a stand-alone.

the city of inazuma is bustling today with exhilaration and animation. each nook and corner is heavily decorated. the roads are garnished with lanterns, washing everything in golden glow. hunderds of tanabatas hang off the branches of the sakura trees. the shogunate banners stand proud amidst the carefree ambience. wherever one looks, only bright and colourful shapes dance in front of the eyes.

the decorations are not the only thing adoring the vibrant streets. enthusiastic vendors, adventurous travellers, and passionate merchants wait at every corner of the streets. busy with preparations for one of the most important events of inazuma.

the taisho ceremony.

once in a lifetime opportunity where a samurai is chosen by the shogun as the general for the army. countless aspiring ones dedicate their entire lives training for this title.

everyone is eager to meet the new general of the shogunate, who had seemed to impress not only the whole army but the shogun, too. someone the inazumans could put their full faith into. someone that could lead them towards the greater good. someone who will serve the shogun with the highest honour.

"y/n-san, your ride has arrived."

you answered loudly before turning to stare at the mirror in front of you once again. you sit in a dimly lit room. eyes dancing along your reflection as you take in the sight before you. the white kimono sits elegantly on your figure, it's silky soft fabric feels like heaven against your skin. the heavy gold ornaments dangle from the bun, the one your maids styled your hair into. a bright red on your lips emphasizes the features of your face.

you slowly stand up and move across the room, the kimono flowing elegantly. the zori is awaiting you near the door.

it's time.

...

it was finally happening—the one thing you had been dreaming of. all of your hard work, the countless trainings, duels, and the tortuous days of being on the fields nonstop had finally paid off. you can do nothing but accept the reality.

you look in the mirror from afar one last time and morph your face into a small, gentle smile. eyes twinkling with mirth as you finally step out of the room. you thank the estate lord and wife for their hospitality and made your way towards the carriage waiting for you along with the shogunate samurais. they all bow deeply to you.

i think i can get used to this.

the carriage slowly made its way through the dense fog of the chinju forest, up through the byakku plain before entering the city grounds. the pathway to the tenshukaku is packed with people and samurais. children throw sakura petals on the roof of the carriage, while the other cheer loudly for their new warrior. the crowd roars with praise. hearing their heartfelt blessings melts your heart a little. you wish you could wave back to them, but the shogunate ordered your identity to be hidden until the ceremony takes place.

thank you, everyone.

you stand before the massive gates of tenshukaku and see a yoriki making his way towards you. he offers to accompany you to the main hall, and you gladly accept. as you begin moving, the people part and make way for you.

you are shocked as you look around. the palace is barely decorated. a stark contrast compared to the pleasant city. maybe the officials didn't bother with putting up something. not that you mind. all of these are the least of your concerns.

you don't know when you arrived at the grand hall. the yoriki talks with the other yorikis standing guard at the entry, while you stare at them impatiently. as much as you are excited about the ceremony, the cold is nipping at your skin, and you want nothing but to enter inside away from the winter breeze.

all of a sudden, something— or someone catches your eyes. you make out a figure standing at one of the roofs of the right buildings. your eyes meet, and your breath hitches.

those deep hues of violet. those long purple strands.

the shogun? what is she doing here?

before you could do anything, she vanished in thin air. leaving no trace behind.

you stare, astonished at where she stood, before breaking from the trance as you heard your name being called behind the close doors.

the dense atmosphere of the insides is quick to greet you. the air in the hall is laced with a heavy dose of anticipation and solemnity, not foreign to you. numerous soldiers and officials, dressed in formal attire, gather in the hall, each one a silent witness to the impending ceremony.

soon after, the ceremony began. the elegant sounds of koto and shamisen pleasant on your ears while the heavy floral incense is beginning to make you feel drowsy while the people offer prayers for the prosperity of the shogun and her divine land.

the electro archon appears from behind the flowered screens. her eyes, gentle gaze, focus on you, taking up your form. but to you, she looks awfully different from when you saw her on the roof. but then again, you don't question her ability to change clothing in a short span. but your eyes catch her hair, which seems strangely shorter.

hmm...

a creek is heard from above. you turn your head slightly and see the same figure from before. her violet gaze again catches yours.

another shogun?!

as if sensing your panic, she points a finger to her lips and signals you to stay silent. you could only stand there with a quivering mouth and wide eyes, flickering back and forth from the shogun standing in front of you and the one sitting atop the wooden railings.

am i dreaming?

you try to keep your thoughts from boiling over and pay attention to the shogun. she begins to address the assembly. steady voice highlights your each and every achievement, your passion, and your will to fight for this nation. she presents you with a gunbai which you hold in your left hand. its rod feels rough against your skin.

a ceremonial blade is placed on your right shoulder, the weight comforting your tensed senses. you turn to look up and find the shogun looking back at you. her expression is something serene and smiles at you. she nods, and you drop to your knees before bowing fully.

for the shogun. for inazuma.

you swear an oath of loyalty and service to the shogunate. the shogun removes the blade and places it in your hands before turning around and retreating back to behind the screens, hidden from your gaze once again.

you look towards her doppelgänger again, only to find that she is already looking at you. you duck your head as embarrassment creeps up on you. slowly lifting your head, you see her in the same spot, chuckling silently behind her hands. you can't help but smile a little at the cute sight.

...

a lot of officials step forward and take turn offering words of acknowledgement while the other offer their blessings. the ceremony thus ends with the assembly bowing in respect. finally, the shogun dismisses everyone. you look back towards the roof, hoping to catch one last glimpse of her, but she was gone.

you are escorted outside, and the yoriki from before approaches you, once again accompanying you to the gates of tenshukaku. finally, you were given some time to meet with the common folk. the showers of sakura and cheers greet you once more. a smile make its way onto your face as you return their kind gestures.

the night falls quickly. the people sure took their sweet time with you. you feel exhausted the moment you entered your room in the kamisato estate. the maids came flocking in, helping with taking your attire off. the kimono, the ornaments are gently placed at the table, and in no time, you find yourself in your usual plain white robes.

you move towards the balcony, looking at the night sky as you muse about the ceremony and that mysterious woman. the moon is so bright tonight. your eyes take up in the sight of the moonlit city basking in its night glory.

from now on, you were officially the general of the shogunate. today, you had promised your life to the shogun. something you suppose you should feel fortunate for, but that woman is the only thing you can think of.

you had many questions. why was there a woman who looked exactly like the shogun? why was she even hiding, and from what? you wish you could have spoken with her. you wish to meet her again. maybe she was a spy, and who knows, she will be sitting on the room's ceiling with the same smile gracing her face as she gazes down at you with amusement glimmering in those lilac orbs.

never did you think the shogun had a twin sister. and a nice one at that. you feel a sudden surge of determination. you smile for the last time today. and a vow is made. with a giddiness in your steps, you retreat back into your room. you promise to yourself to see and savour all that she has to offer. you can't wait to uncover this woman.

[spencer-is-dead]

ace week was here and gone. But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to be rambling about my head canons. While my ace Loid hc is more based on projection than anything, I think Yor being aroace has a lot of backing to it

So, here’s my theory on why Yor might be aroace

the following post will contain manga spoilers

from the start, Yor really shows no interest in romantic relationships. She’s 27 years old and has never been in a relationship before. She sighs when her coworkers bring up the idea of her getting into a relationship, because this conversation has happened many times before

the girls do seem to have genuinely good intentions (not wanting yor to get arrested) but Yor obviously doesn’t seem to want a relationship. It’s a very common experience for aroace people to be pressured into a relationship by family and friends. Yuri also apparently brings it up a lot, leading Yor to lie and say that she’s found a guy, just so that Yuri can take his promotion.

she enters a marriage with Twilight just to protect those around her, not out of love. Under any other circumstances, this might’ve been considered a lavender marriage, a marriage typical done between queer people pressured into heterosexual relationships so that they can peruse whoever they want to, which in Yor’s case, is no one.

my major reason for thinking Yor is aroace is because of her strong aversion to intimacy in any way. She’s very nervous to kiss Loid, only thinking about how her kiss should be “normal” in a way. Yor has a very strong want to be normal, when she simply isn’t. I can relate to her as an autistic person for that want, but I can also see how someone on the ace spectrum could relate to that as well.

in the most recent short mission, she’s shown being very embarrassed and almost flustered at the movie’s depiction of kissing. She’s probably uncomfortable with it.

anyways thanks for reading this, here, take this aroace Yor pfp for good luck