#they rlly dont make me feel valued like im helping them out??? im doing this for free

[hubr1s69]

im kinda stuck working in a group project that makes me feel super bad lol why did i agree to do this

[jesuistrestriste]

hey sorry if this is tmi but i also have vaginismus and i found that out when i was about 15 with my first boyfriend and i can't use tampons and stuff. I'm 20 now and a virgin still and I've basically not touched someone since, and i basically just thought casually hooking up with someone was off the cards because of it. i think a lot of it is in my head I'm like.... no one i just meet on an app or in a club who doesn't know me is going to take the time to do what i need to mean i have a good time because of the vaginismus. I've basically just been telling myself that it will be okay because if i get in a relationship they'll care enough to help me work through it, or they'll like me enough that not having penetrative sex wont be a deal-breaker. I was just wondering if you had any advice about navigating hookups with vaginismus or anything because I'm not getting in a relationship anytime soon and i can't not be having sex any longer. I am in desperate need lol. thank u sm <33

hey lovie:) !

i totally get it; i was formally diagnosed by my obgyn when i was 19 but im pretty sure i had it since i was an early teen bc i was petrified of tampons and couldn’t get one in comfortably. i always experienced some sort of pain/discomfort when it came to penetration of any kind, sexual or not, so i knew something was up.

here’s kinda how i navigated that stuff once i decided that i wanted to be intimate with people:

if you don’t know the person incredibly well, ie you haven’t been friends or anything for a while, i think it’s really important to sus them out and make sure they’re someone you feel comfortable being open with— and make sure theyre someone that you feel would respect your boundaries in bed.

sex should be fun and enjoyable ! and sex doesn’t have to involve vaginal penetration ! when you’re with a partner for the first time and you two are getting ready to get down to it, you can just tell them straight-up that you don’t want to have ‘sex’. i know it can be kinda awkward to say this, but know that nothing is wrong with you and that it’s totally okay to state that boundary. in fact, it’s much better for overcoming vaginismus if you don’t force yourself into penetration — that’ll just reinforce the idea in your brain that penetration = pain/discomfort. better to experience pleasure down there and let your brain get used to that idea instead ! (i personally found that most people who i told were super chill and kind about it, or just didn’t rlly mind, so don’t stress yourself out too much over this).

if you’re into cis het men, i’ll be honest, there’s always a chance that they’re gonna be somewhat ‘pushy’ or ‘confused’ if you say that you don’t want to have penetrative sex. if you’re in this situation, you could explain to them that it hurts/is painful and wouldn’t be pleasurable. of course, you don’t owe him an explanation by any means— you’re 100% allowed to just not want to be penetrated, and anyone should accept that at face value— but educating someone never hurts. instead, you could list some other things that you’re open to and would be pleasurable for you; ie oral, kissing, touching, etc.

**** Don’t ever, ever, ever feel pressured to have penetrative sex if you don’t want to. if someone doesn’t accept that, you should end the hookup right then and there. you owe it to yourself to protect your body and your mental health. if they get mad/upset/sad, that’s their issue. and dont let them guilt trip you ! ! ! ! i know it can be tough, esp if you’re someone who’s prone to people pleasing, but trust me when i tell you that if they don’t respect your boundaries they will NOT respect your body.

it’s definitely possible to have really enjoyable, intimate, and tender sex that doesn’t involve penetration ! i promise u. the outcome is mostly dependent on whomever you’re being physical with.

i know vaginismus can make you feel like you’re broken, or unsexy, or that you’ll never have ‘proper sex’; but you are NOT a lost cause and you are NOT broken in any way and it’s totally possible to gradually overcome it with some time and patience. plus, a lot more people have this than you’d think and they just don’t know it/don’t talk about it. but you’re not alone !

in terms of healing from vaginismus, here’s some things that helped:

- refraining from engaging in penetrative sex if i didn’t feel ready or comfortable enough to try (obviously)

- diaphragmatic breathing (breathing into your belly instead of your chest) when trying to insert anything— look this up ! it’s supposed to help stimulate a nerve in your body that assists in relieving anxiety/tension/stress

- using dilators (look these up too— they help to gradually get your body used to the sensation of penetration)

- ^^ using dilators when i was relaxed, and i’ll be so honest it really helps if you’re turned on loll. this will get your brain to associate arousal w penetration, and it might even start to feel good after the first couple times using them !

- listening to my body. this is so, so important. if you’re trying to put something inside of you, and it’s really burning/stinging/painful, you should stop. it seems like that would be obvious, but i think a lot of us w vaginismus feel the need to push through the pain in order to get results quicker, but it’ll just set you back. go slow, but be consistent with it — every week, or every day- that sort of thing. be gentle with yourself ! <3

i hope this helped anon !! sending much love to you, and if u wanna talk my messages are open :)

[become-potatoes]

finished the teal mask and oh boy do i have thoughts…

(SPOILERS FOR THE NEW DLC IF YOU DONT WANT SPOILERS PLS DO NOT READ)

god. kieran. kieran is so refreshing from a character perspective. kieran is like the anti-hop. it kind of feels like he’s the protagonist and we’re the classic jerk rival, doesn’t it? this guy clearly has Issues and i really like that, im enjoying this sort of “why can’t i beat you” rival trope that gamefreak’s been doing lately. they nearly did it with hop but with kieran they’re really going full in. the character arc that kieran went through in this dlc was actually difficult for me to watch, seeing this poor boy destroy himself mentally. the first time i battled him for the final time i actually lost, and i was hoping that he would get to keep ogerpon because altho shes cute and i adore her, i felt so bad. but ofc thats not the way the cookie crumbles. kieran is socially awkward, he doesn’t know how to communicate, and he’s never had a true friend. then florian/juliana comes along and suddenly there’s someone who seems to genuinely enjoy hanging out with him that isn’t, yknow, related to him. but then that person that he was so eager to trust goes along and begins befriending and helping a pokemon that hes adored all your life behind his back. i relate to kieran a lot and ofc yknow the absolute maniac arc hes about to go through is probably not healthy but i rlly hope this ends up being good for him. he idolized ogerpon because of how he related to her story, not because of the actual living creature she is. i wouldnt be surprised if it turns out he doesnt value his pokemon as actual living creatures either. i could see him being like a reverse silver, as he grows colder growing to not even care about his pokemon.

on the other hand, carmine! carmine was such a delight, i was genuinely not expecting to enjoy her as much as i did. sure, she also has Issues and has probably been a negative effect on her brother, but at the end of the day she is also just a kid. she probably has no idea what shes doing, and i dont think shed ever hurt kieran. she went through a lot of growth in the dlc and i can see her trying to become a better person with the help of florian/juliana and repairing her odd relationship with kieran.

also, it seems like she kind of has to play a parental role for kieran, as its implied that their parents arent around. thats another thing that separates kieran and carmine from siblings like hop and leon (and oh my god im just realizing all the parallels between hop and leon and kieran and carmine). its implied that the galar bros had a good childhood, and hops Issues dont start until hes set off on his journey and leon is a full adult with an actual life. with the kitakami siblings, if you read between the lines you can tell that theyve had a harder time growing up. with carmines comments on tourism and how it’s negatively effected their town and give her Trust Issues, that obviously fucked them both up a little, seeing that people only valued their hometown as an attraction, and that they themselves were a part of that attraction. and of course we dont know what the issue was with their parents. also, why are they going to school in unova? (side not oh my god it is so obvious that we’re going to get bw remakes in gen 9 or a legends unova game)

kitakami is such an interesting region. obviously its tiny, it has one town and then everything else is just untamed land. i feel like something Else is going on here. or maybe its just small idk

i love ogerpon a lot i think shes adorable and i love that we got to run around with her before she joined our team and it makes the whole “ten year old catches legendary thing” feel more realistic

also why are ogerpon and the loyal three legendaries i feel like they should be mythicals them being legendary feels Wrong

anyways these were my silly thoughts on the dlc and i hope kieran turns out to be the bb leagues champion (pulling a blue) and also i dont trust briar now time to finish my pokedex and talk to legends arceus pandering i mean perrin and if i see anyone call carmine a terrible person i will trade away your ev trained competitive team ok bye

(also this scene made me emotional)

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

hey ari!!! hope ur doing super well <33 i dropped by to ask u a few things…….

let me know whenever u find the time to read my gojo fic… i made a few revisions over time and i’d rlly love to hear ur thoughts o valued gojo lover ;; its become very important to me , but no pressure :33

AND. need ur most brainrotting thoughts about sashishu por favor. for. research. yeah… research 🙇‍♂️

riko !!!! i hope ur doing super super well urself, im doing just fine <33 trying to finish this fic im writing so i can (hopefully) post it today pshjdh BUT its going good so far !!

i know i alr said it but !! i am so so excited to read ur gojo fic !! if i dont have time today then i will tmrw 🙏🙏 cant wait to rb it w a huge rant i took a lil peek at it n i can already tell its gonna be so good….

AND RIKO. tysm i appreciate u like no other, ive been waiting for a chance to rant abt my Absolute Beloveds……… this might get long im sorry but sashisu make me. genuinely insane

OK SO. just generally speaking…… to me, the biggest sashisu appeal is just. how grounded they are. to me. i feel like both jjk trios are very realistic but in different ways!!

like. the 2018 trio are just !! good friends and they care for each other and they have fun together. AND most importantly; they can be open w each other !! like all three of them are a lillll closed off and obviously traumatized but they can still be sincere with one another. yuji talks openly w both megumi and nobara, megumi’s whole arc revolves around him getting comfortable with the idea of leaning on others and being saved by others, and nobara’s whole character hinges on her just being unabashedly herself.

AND I LOVE THEM i really do but sashisu r just so….. different and also similar and they feel so real to me even though theyre all insane in the head.

because contrary to the 2018 trio, theyre all sort of. Cunts pshjdhd. LIKE. high school satoru is a brat and he thinks he can make friends by being a bully and hes kind despite that but hes also sooo infuriating, and suguru acts like hes better but hes rly not. theyre both assholes. same w shoko!! shes literally out here casually underage smoking and all three of them get in trouble n then blame it on each other n its just…. theyre just so fun. they bully each other but u can TELL theres love there.

and the greatest difference between the 2018 and 2006trio is that the former can be open with each other, but the latter cant. sashisu are doomed as a trio because theyre all so closed off and traumatized and repressed and they will never be as sincere with each other as yuji/megumi/nobara are.

and to me, thats the main reason why suguru defects !! not that its their fault, but the fact that they didnt notice — or maybe the fact that they DID notice but didnt know how to broach the subject — is the one factor that makes his defection almost unavoidable to me. because his best friends, his most loved people, were never the type to be vulnerable like that. and neither was he !!

theyre just so DOOMED riko….. suguru couldnt open his heart to satoru or shoko, satoru didnt notice suguru’s silence bc he was too busy making himself strong enough to protect them, and we dont know how shoko felt but she obviously didnt do anything even if she did notice smth was off. neither of them saw how much suguru was suffering, and suguru was extremely depressed and isolated and never once gave them the chance to help him.

the three of them just werent the type to have heartfelt conversations in the same way the other trio does, and i think sashisu just… figured they didnt need to. that they had that bond together and that it would always be enough. bc all three of them have these incredible powers that make them isolated and kind of miserable, but they were able to be kids only when they were together. during that one year, they got to feel that slice of normalcy and genuine friendship.

and then they lost it !! and shoko and satoru both regret it !!! and they were never able to hate suguru, and he was never able to hate them, even at the very end !!! and the thing that always breaks me is that its just so, so evident that they all loved each other. but it wasnt enough !! and i think thats such a …. grounded and real depiction of how it can be to love someone who’s ill, or traumatized, while you yourself are ill or traumatized. and you might love each other, and it might still not be enough. but the fact that the love was there still matters.

they were three child soldiers who only found comfort in each other, and they all crumbled under the weight of the world but even at the very end they still loved each other.

and for sashisu, that love never disappeared — both shoko and satoru became more responsible after suguru left, and together theyre able to protect so many of the students and their coworkers. and theyre still traumatized and arguably even MORE repressed but the two of them still stick together, and theres a comfort in knowing theyll always have that. (im ignoring the current manga arc its not canon to me idc)

THIS IS ALREADY SO LOONNGG i just. i ADORE them. theyre so good. but !! if we’re moving past just general analysis of them then !! i love to think abt…. sashisu x reader……. maybe one day ill finish my sss x reader series psjdjdj but !!!

i just think itd be such a fun n comfortable dynamic ?? bc they all complete each other in a way…. satoru is just kinda hyper n cuddly n sweet, n suguru is calm and teasing n warm…. and shoko is so chill but also so caring and . i Need them. all of them r so gorgeous i would fall to my knees and cry if i just saw them relaxing by the couch.

i feel like a reader dynamic w them would just be the four of u living together and spending the rest of ur lives doing the same things u did in high school….. going to karaoke n getting in trouble and eating food . etc etc. maybe getting a couple cats…. and a bunch of plants that would all die if it werent for suguru pshjdjs.

in conclusion they make me feel ill <3

(also riko…. pls read the pink lighter by nosferatui, its a sashisu fix-it time travel fic and its one of my favorites ever !! i still havent finished it but its complete and it genuinely changed my life the writing is so good it hurts)

[essiekuko]

the things i’d do to get this day back…

i reached 96h of f4st1ng, which is 4 days and that sets my newest, highest record!! i broke it starting off with my sister’s leftovers, she never finishes her m34ls and it’s rlly good food too, and i’ve been fighting the urge to have her leftovers this whole time. and i’m pretty happy yk, i reached my first gw 😿🙏

also the reason why my sis doesn’t finish her m€@łş is not bc she’s @ñ@ or anything, she is physically disabled and cannot €@ț easily ):

i’ll get back into it tomorrow, bc advent starts tomorrow!! 🙀

now i have a new record to beat and the goal just keeps getting higher!! my goal next up is 5 days and i’ll reach 100+ hrs with tht

but since im doing advent ig i'll just exceed the goal 🤷‍♀️ i needa take a m3t4b day and i'll take one on the 16th, cause its like i still have my ug of f4st1ng, to beat that 1 person's 15 days and go 16 days, so i'll take the m3tab on the 16th day

my st0mach has been crying and lashing out for this food, and when i finished, it just kept making the loudest noises 😒 like be calm, my thighs were right there and u seemed to be happy

maybe this is like a routine for me, i f4st on weekdays and 3at on weekends?

i just realised how dramatic i can be at times, all this talk abt 'i wont 3at for xmas, i wont 3at at all, i can never feel pretty' and then i 3at and idc LMFAOO

i listen to the millionaires, cause they have that dgaf motto, and i gotta remember to embody tht and not let my dramatic emotions get the best of me (＃￣ω￣)

genetics plays alll the roles, i cant expect to look like snejana yk, cause we're both built diff. i f4st for uncommon 4n4 reasons, to feel like i have control over at least something in my life. cause yk how i be the youngest kid, i dont like when ppl tell me wht to do, i wanna do my own thing for once!! and st4rv1ng gives me that control i want. and also side benefits is getting th1n from it, but im ok with my body, i just wanna flat stomach is all, even if mine rn is small?? (￣～￣;)

my waistline saves me tbh (ᓀ ᓀ)

i stopped counting c4ls cause it just got too useless tbh, but i learned the average c4ls of things and i can make close guesses whenever i 3at, so at least i gained a skill from it, so i dont need an app or help from chatgpt, i just guess. if i rlly care one day i do ask chatgpt, but i'd never use a counting app again

HELLO HOW IS FRANCES BEAN A MODEL IF SHE'S 5'2???? nepo baby tings...she's rlly pretty tho so she could be a beauty model then

w8 is such a strange thing. most bmi calculators say 66kg is bmi 25 and just inside the ideal range for 5'4. and then the articles are saying stuff like "nooo u must not be over 60kg 😾!!!" like pls. im gonna stick to that bmi calculator and not them websites. but that doesnt mean i'll change my gws tho, i'll still keep them but aim to w31gh around those values

[blkkizzat]

Haiiii babes!!!! Hope u been well 😙

(Literally just came from rereading plug choso once again to keep it fresh in my brain hehe) istg i love him so bad but….nicki was right, trauma is the way. Him sharing that blunt with gouda bitch has me steaming every time smh. I would fuck cho infront of her but she dont deserve to see the dickk!

Venus in gemini and mars in aries HELP HSJKSKSK NO OKAY U and toji would be so good for each other 😭 yall can play games and he drag u back in so u dont get too bored hehe. My mars is in leo and my good friend studies astrology and she deadass do be saying thats the corruption kink placement hehe, plus i got some virgo in there too so my shit is obsesseddddd with corrupting purity whoops (and obsessive + possessive AF like i wanna be someone's first and their everything) which is so true cause i be fucking with ppl to make em obsessed with me and ion even want them jdksks. I js cant do virgin reader bc i have a SA trauma which sucks bc there are so many virgin reader fics and i gotta sit em out which is why i flock to shit like otaku!gojo where the man is a virgin like that heals me so much u have no idea lmao (even tho this pussy can squirt by itself, i would show virgin gojo all the tricks hehe) Yes ma'am i do fuck w astrology, and recently tarot a lil bit 👀 got me a lil reading and erthing hehe

Tbf i dont feel like u have a truly irredeemable character because they all have some sort of bg story (okay lets ignore reader from gf!choso literally killing a man bc DAMN when i say the dialogue you gave him had me stressing tf out, like i almost had an angry cry when he was airing out shit at the party. The bat scene from there was so iconic tho) like even plug choso, reader is a brat but i rlly feel like its bc shes an overachiever which i vibe w soooo hard. She's the definition of "honey u need to get some dick and RELAX" bc she trying to do it all and none of it is for herself. Im similar so i see her bratiness as a defense mechanism iykwim. Ngl the ending of pt 2 had me scared bc like i can dish it out, but i cant take it LMAOOOOOO like choso shared a blunt w some other bitch and i was already in tears istg he gon have to make that up to me smh. YESSSSSSS i love with the characters are still downbad for the reader even when she's a bitch like, thats the kinda ride or die i wantttt.

I feel u bc i cant do angst that effects the reader lol.

Guestprofessor yooooo i love that dynamic!!! I rarely read gojo (or geto too) bc i rarely find a version of him that doesnt turn his charisma into fuckboyness like it just aint for me, but w.e the girlies enjoy :p

Ohhh i do need to check out those websites even tho i have nowhere to go rip. I love me a gown but they almost never reach past my shins 💀 got that damn amazoness genetic smh

LMFAOOO ur so real for that. Tbh cho could be a virgin and id still talk to him like a two dollar hoe 😭

Sending u all the good vibes frrrrr its always fun chatting w u too kali babes 😚

🍒 anon

Awe you are so sweet reading it again. I hope I can get the next part out tonight for u, I’m getting 2 people to read so once they are done I will make changes and post. 

LMFAO im crying cause you are like the 3rd person who told me that part had them heated. But hehe funny you should mention fucking him in front of her…. *shhhh*

Yeah no I would need the games to keep me interested lmfao. Oooh corruption kink!  you know until Choso I never had one of those but I just want to ruin him dskhfkjhdkHSa. But relatable, sometimes you just flirt because you can LOL

Oh no, im so sorry to hear about your SA trauma. I completely understand. While I don’t necessarily have drama, I think another reason I lean towards bimbo!reader is I don’t like how society places a woman’s value on virginity. It’s a totally different thing that wanting to be someone’s first or even corrupting, cause im into those kinks too. I don’t like when it seems like the whole value of them is their virginity if it makes sense. 

I actually own a tarot deck too! But I haven’t studied it enough to do it on my own. I’ve had mine done by friends before though!

Lmfao yeah gf!choso reader is also a bit crazy, when I eventually do the p3 to that, it will go into more of how she doesn’t have bloodlust like choso, and actually wants him to slow down a bit so he doesn’t get caught (gf!choso finds himself not needing to kill as much bc he has reader as a stress release). But she doesn’t have qualms with blood or the fact he’s a serial killer lolol. She kinda slow lowkey lolol. Her mind: “killing is bad. But I love Choso and he loves me so Choso is good too.” I mean she joined his major cause she watched Dexter so she aint the brightest bulb. jhdfkhdskjfhsd. <3 Unlike plug!choso sorority bimbo tho, she is never ashamed of Choso and wants him to come to frat parties as her date (which he reluctantly goes to because he’s whipped and jealous as all hell). Ahhh I rambled about this too much lol

Oooh how tall are you if you don’t mind me asking? Im 5’7 and some of the gowns I got from there drag a bit so maybe you’d have more luck with them!

Mwahhmwahhh babes <3333

[plainbageltoastedwithbutter]

oswald cobblepot (the penguin) hcs

DONT TELL ME IM WRONG IM RIGHT /lh

I'm leaning towards asexual penguin but I feel like aceflux would also work. if you don't know what aceflux is, it just means your sexual attraction fluctuates on the asexual spectrum

ik most iterations of penguin involve him actually liking birds, even being RAISED by penguins but i feel for gotham penguin, he probably wouldn't like to get birds. sure, he uses the name penguin but only because he found power and intimidation in using it but it's still connected to his trauma of being made fun of.

he's unlabeled cause 1. robin has stated that there's no confirmation that oswald is specifically gay. he's just not straight. 2. is because it makes sense for his character not to rlly give thought to his sexuality or to put a name on it, however i do think he only likes men just isn't labeled. if someone were to ask him his sexuality, he'd whip around and go "that's not of your concern!" and storm off or something pfft

he gets sick often, especially during his umbrella boy days. like imagine standing in the rain but you have to give your umbrella to fish mooney of all people because its what you get paid for. he'd get sick often cause of the cold murky weather of gotham. he's also unhygienic, at least in the start of gotham and constantly shouts so he'd probably get sick rlly often and has sore throat. cuts back to his mom always helping him with her tea and how he has a raspy voice!!

when ed switches over to riddler all oswald does is "ed ed ed ed come back baby im sorry"

him being domestic can range from childish innocent things like singing songs to each other and having picnics to tracking down people to kill <3

probably only got a dog cause he wanted loyalty and a dog is known for being loyal. hes seems more like a cat person to me

learns asl for martin, (and teaches him it if he doesn't already know how). oswald will literally ONLY shut up for martin, he won't speak when he's signing or when martin is (ed is kinda different but THIS ISNT ABOUT HIM *proceeds to write mostly riddlebird hcs*)

oswald buys martin antique toys and lame stuff, like jack in the boxes. ed buys him extremely hard puzzles and 'educational toys'. uncle zsasz buys him music-related things, headphones, radios, etc. barbara buys him more of what a kid would want, like an xbox. (ik this isnt just oswald but idc)

actually back on the cat person oswald, im going to state how cats are attracted to HIM. he probably tried to pet a cat when he was a kid and got scratched and sobbed to gertrude. he'll immediately become upset when a cat doesnt like him but he'll eventually learn how to gain a cat's trust and suddenly theres six following him around, he teaches them to bring dead animals to his enemies.

he treats his maids and house employees extremely well. like olga was the one to like oswald and not ed. why?? because he pays her good!

sadly probably mistakes olga as his mom, he catches himself right when "mother" slips out of his mouth, he feels embarrassed and ashamed, he doesn't get mad at olga but he excuses himself and runs to his room. olga doesnt get angry, she just feels bad :(

oswald walks into gcpd. everyone stops what they're doing and are like "oh no", he just skips over to lucius and props his umbrella on his desk and is like. "make this into a gun or else." with two of his henchmen behind him. hes not even scared that hes surrounded by police PFFT

in MY gotham, oswald is still very close with ivy and other people like mr freeze and firefly.

he realizes how bad he was to them, apologizes and promises to be a better friend. everyone is skeptical besides ivy cuz she's naive but turns out he's not lying. he gets upset when ivy messes up or whatever but quickly apologizes and calms himself down, he learns to value his friends and their quirks as they have for him

oswald is autistic and has bpd, along with apd, maybe ptsd?

he usually gets driven around by others but he owns his own car which is a hearse. yes, coffin car.

doesn't know about ed's hallucinations but finds his pills and was like ???

he dropped out of school probably when he was a teen and when he did have school, i'd like to think that he had straight A's.

not only did he get bullied a lot but oswald is smart. it's only a matter of time before he snaps, so i imagine he'd put his smarts to use and would start a business where he'd write people's essays and tutor them for tests (explains why he wasn't surprised when ed asked for oz to mentor him)

gertrude would have boyfriends when oswald was younger, but oswald being the clingy mama's boy he is, didn't like them. he'd put bugs in their pillows and coffee, and other fucked up shit to scare them off. eventually, they'd break up with gertrude and yell at her about how fucked up her kid is. gertrude would get rlly upset and explains how her little oswald could do no wrong. after a while, getrude would stop dating entirely, much to oswald's approval.

his favorite holiday is christmas and thanksgiving

does not speak of either mothers day or fathers day

will disappear off the face of the earth on those days

hates the cold strangely, it reminds him of when he almost drowned, multiple times. he always has multiple layers on so when you see without all that or a suit in general its very 'woah'

he hates when people touch him, especially those who he does not trust. like did you see when sofia touched him that one time, EW. or when he first met ed, "you're standing too close", could be that he could strike at any moment but he also just doesnt like strangers

speaking of his touch aversion, oswald wouldn't trust ed to touch him after he, yknow tried to kill him. in s5, when oswald jumped to save ed was probably when he got over it and as we know they later hug (non-homosexually 😊)

ed is like the only one who can mention his mom (ofc in a good way) without oswald bursting out in tears or attacking them. partially because of their shared history, when ed nursed oswald back to health he used his mother's memory to gain his trust more.

when people insult him, depending on who you are he'll either dissociate or attack you. he's probably learnt to do that from when he was bullied as a kid

speaks rlly fondly of fish after her death, ppl would be like "but didnt she try to kill you?" "idk what you're talking about"

doesnt kiss ed unless ed goes in for the kiss first, hes afraid of somehow being rejected again, and also cause he's aceflux he doesn't crave a kiss like some ppl do but he does forehead kiss martin all the time. hes the parent who will drive martin in his limousine and be like 'wheres my hug 🥺🥺' before he gets out of the car to go to school

ok me needs to sleep hope this was enough to satisfy the penguin stans

[luveline]

jadie (may i call u that ?) i was wondering how u deal with hate on ur page. does it ever get rlly hard to the point where u think about quitting or something? ive been going through some hate of my own and although im still a small acct and the love outweighs the hate, its still super hurtful and i just wanna know how someone with a following as big as urs would handle it ! thanks so much

you can call me whatever you like!! how I deal with it..

I think it's important to acknowledge that I have a 'bigger' account or a bigger following because if you tallied up the hate to the kindness I'm shown, there's always going to be more love. And I feel like I can stick up for myself more often because I know I've made friends here and have followers that will support me!! So I would definitely say those things are a privilege that I have to help me

That being said, I've definitely noticed a tenfold increase in hate as I gain followers and i think thats natural, it makes sense that the more people that are exposed to me and my writing, the more I will see people who dont like me or my writing. Sometimes I handle it by crying my eyes out, and sometimes I just feel really sick all day. Lots of the time, hate pretty much saps me completely and I find that I don't want to write anymore because you do start to internalise that and feel negatively about yourself. It's always worse when they kind of find the thing you're sensitive about and prod at it.

And hate feels to me like it is in two categories, actual stuff with value and then the troll/bait kind of stuff. Most of the mean anons I receive I block straight away so they can't send anything again. Sometimes I post it because I want my own say, like when I don't agree with the way someone's speaking to me.

Sometimes you get silly cruel ones, and sometimes you see hate and think like??? What does this have to do with me? Fanfic and writing in general can be so skewed toward personal preference because why wouldn't I write what I want to write? This is my hobby and its for fun, and so when you get those "this was awkward' "this was poorly written" "why did insert character do this" I can disregard that pretty easily cos its a comment based on their own perception and preference. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone if you don't want to!

I recently saw someone get a hate anon that said like "you need to use more full stops, I need to take a breath" and it made me laugh because there are literally millions and millions of books and billions of words of fanfic online and that person has seemingly never encountered a run on sentence before? I think you just have to keep in mind that your circle of experience in life is different to other people's , and there will be overlap but often the majority won't, like a Venn diagram. What I'm trying to say is I tend to not take that stuff too personally (though it's still hate, and still annoying!) because that person probably just hasn't realised the world doesn't revolve around them yet!

Hate sucks! We aren't goodreads authors, we aren't offering our work up for a five star rating and asking people to pick it apart, and it's always gonna be gutting when people don't like what we have to offer. But I just try to take it on the chin because rejection is a constant in life, and if you don't wrestle with it I'd imagine I'll turn into a bitter bitch. 😅

tldr: I let myself be upset by it! I give myself space to feel sad but ultimately I reason that you can't please everyone, and you shouldn't want to! Do what makes you happy and the right people will find you and love you for it !!

[aftrskool]

TO BE HONEST !!!! i love graffiti i think its lovely i love seeing peoples little scribbles in otherwise unnotable places it makes me smile and recognizing different tags around the place makes me feel more connected 2 my community & im thankful there R those out there who would risk fines or jail and stuff so that they can leave their little message or signature or doodle on a wall or electric box. just another reminder that u R not alone even if it feels like u R where u live...like little messages in bottles around the place..and add color & design & expression 2 tha world.ive always wanted 2 collect photos of local tags i recognize but i dont trust the pics to not be geotagged cuz i never want 2 post anything or have a collection with all those locations that sum pig or HOA freak could use the data frum 2 try and get rid of them in real life. cuz i love them 

i want 2 1 day give a letter or message to the person behind the FECK tag in my area full of my thanks and appreciation cuz their little tags keep me going they really do i value them a lot && the person in millers lane that wrote HAPPY 2022 BE HAPPY in yellow this new yrs it makes me smile and its beenn one of my inspirations this year i took a photo and printed it and its in my diary forever cuz its just so happy and a lovely sentiment and it makes me smile and i remember kicking rocks and bottles in millers lane wandering cuz i was suicidaland depressed and didnt have anything else to do with myself or anywhere to go and i found it and it made me smile and feel so less alone....if U r the kind of person to go ‘umm well you wouldnt want that on your house would u’ WELL you know what..maybe i would if its graffiti that could help spark something sweet and warm like that in someone else. and EVEN IF you wouldnt want it on yer house well it doesnt take much 2 respect art even if you dont think its pretty theres still lots 2 value like the sentiment behind it and color and stylization & design & typography even if its just some kids name scrawled on a lamp post .... and i mean it...RLLY!!!!

[sylvctica]

[ GET  TO  KNOW  YOUR  WRITING  PARTNER! ]            

knowing your writing partners can potentially make writing together a lot easier.   repost, don’t reblog.

NAME: Aid! at least that’s what ppl online know me as, tho i did go by Resu at one point when i was active in the early days of the bleach RPC, but i eventually dropped it for Aid once i picked it up as a nickname.

PRONOUNS: she/her, nothing too fancy here!! tho i don’t mind masc stuff like ‘dude’ and ‘bro’ being used around me.

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION: uhhhh usually discord, but god i am terrible at replying i am so sorry to anyone who chats with me. 😭 tumblr IMs work as well tho i’m just slow, or just post replies/tag chats cause they’re pretty easy on my brain.

NAME OF MUSE(S): just one whole Sylvie!!! or Sylvatica. or Foras. or a bunch of nicknames they’ve got LMASOAMO.

EXPERIENCE/HOW LONG: I think I’ve been writing on tumblr for the last ... lemme look at my first blog ... may 2013? i did a bit of writing on devART before moving here from 2011-2012, so roughly 10-11 years of RPing experience.

BEST EXPERIENCE: i’ve had so many good experiences!!!! and i’ve met a lot of dope friends thru tumblr (shoutout to @afacere​​​ for chugging along with me for so many years). it’s hard to pinpoint any specific experiences cause i value rlly everything and everyone that has helped me develop my muses (esp with sylvie) cause you guys helped to shape them into the muse they are today.

RP PET PEEVES: it’s funny cause i know i have them, but i’m blanking out so hard on what they are. thankfully it’s not as much of an issue any more (esp with the new dashboard view u can use on any blog so it mitigates it), but i remember the days super tiny container themes were the jam and everything was ant-sized and im like ... please. 11px or 12px sized font won't kill you or ruin your aesthetic, nor will 500/540px sized posts (or even 400+). i distinctly remember coming across a blog way back in the day where the container size was unironically like... 300x200 or something and i’m like ... why tho.

MUSE PREFERENCES FOR ANGST / FLUFF / SMUT: uhh, fluff? i do love me angst, but since my muses flow on their own, maintaining angst is hard and sylvie is very much not a muse that’s prone to any form of sadness or depression, so those threads are very few and far between. i enjoy more fluffy/silly stuff overall cause it makes me feel good!!!

PLOTS OR MEMES: memes mostly because they work with my low energy, but i enjoy the small plot (or big?) when they come around and inspiration strikes or a mun and i find something we’d both be curious in exploring--but memes take priority usually.

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: both!!! im just slow with long replies because it requires focus from my brain and with me working so late, im usually low on that. slow replies function best with my energy and focus, but i lov me a good juicy long thread.

BEST TIME TO WRITE: *it’s a mystery plays in the BG* my energy is random as hell. i usually try to write on weekends cause it’s when i have the most free time, but i end up usually sleeping most of the day to recover from the work week. otherwise, i dont rlly have much free time to write until after midnight on weekdays, and by that point my brain is usually buzzed out.

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE: to a degree? a lot of myself bleeds out into my more active muses. i can be a lil stupid like sylvie with stuff flying over my head, i cope with humour like they do, i love food too and nature ... it’s mostly surface level stuff though, cause their insecurities and what not do not touch much upon mine outside a few instances. mostly because they’re not human, so a lot of their things do not overlap with mortal issues LMASOASMASO SO TO SAY ANYWAY.

[undercoverangell]

thinking about pok lives and goes on spring break au heres everything in my brain atm

Pok gets enough money working for the government to get a new house so they no longer live in an apartment and instead are in like a nice lil 2 bedroom 2 bathroom house and the bad kids come over freshman year bc riz is like "oh my dad should know something about these palimpsets i feel like he'd know about them" and he's not of much use but like. to give yall some perspective on how i imagine pok in this au he's like this goblin w huge scars covering him who is like?? kinda athletic?? and he is also still a spy and still goes on missions so when they first meet him hes in this fairly nice house in like a button up and cardigan w plaid pants and has his hair like tied back (bc i think he would grow it out) in a low ponytail drinking coffee. and they've never met Riz's dad but suddenly just everything about Riz makes sense this guy is his fucking dad?? and he works for the government as an accountant?? dude this guy is cool as hell wtf.

He's just very eloquently spoken and seems to know a lot about things accountants shouldn't care about (why did riz send us to his accountant dad to look at a palimpsest why would his dad know anything about this?) and so thus begins the convincing riz who knows what his dad does that his dad is in the mafia.

also doesnt help that they do have a thing in the gukgak household about bringing new people directly to the house bc obviously pok does have a bunch of like secret rooms and drawers in the home and so the very first thing he says around them is "Kid you know how i feel about strangers in the home" and riz just goes "yeah yeah sorry i know we can meet at Basrar's or something next time-" "okay well im assuming its an emergency or something important if you brought 5 people over that i've never even met so what's up?" and its immediately weird bc... wtf.. hi ig??

"dude like why is he so like ..... that. like?? dude hes not an accountant i know that at least." "guys my dad is just some dude who works in accounting hes not a member of the mafia" "the ball im so sorry your dad has been lying to you he is a member of the mafia. does your mom know?" "i dont know?? probably??" "poor woman..." "oh my god"

theyre all so confused as to why he is so casual not knowing that like since he was 13 riz has known his dad is a spy and does missions and stuff and everytime they see pok literally just getting a coffee they confront him immediately even if riz is there

"so mr.ball....whats in that coffee???"

"vanilla. some cream and milk."

"theres no mafia secrets????"

"no. i got it with two shots of espresso."

"....weird....."

"if you want me to buy you a coffee you can just ask like a normal person."

"i dont need your MAFIA COFFEE....."

"okay, the coffee here is really good though."

".....maybe i would like just a small coffee with two shots of vanilla."

**hands them 10 bucks** "go ahead."

obv pok cant just tell his sons friends he barely knows that hes a spy so he just continually insists that he "works for the department of foreign affairs as an accountant. i work in accounting kids. thats it." and they all get it HORRIBLY WRONG and are like "oh yeah kalvaxis rlly wanted to eat an accountant JUST SAY UR A MEMBER OF THE MAFIA AND GO KINDA SUSPICIOUS THATS UR WIFES A COP ARE U TRYING TO MANAGE THE POWER SYSTEM SO U CAN GET AWAY W UR CRIMES???" and he just straight up "....YEAH IM A MEMBER OF THE MAFIA! YEAH U GOT IT RIGHT. IM A MEMBER OF THE MAFIA." and riz finds it fucking hilarious bc as hes busting out laughing his dad is going "riz the mafia is serious business u know this idk why ur laughing about it : (" and the bad kids think theyve cracked the case!! theyve done it!! (they have not!)

pok and garthy know eachother very well bc pok has been sent on numerous missions to Leviathan and so there's like little hints as to what pok does "oh you're still working for the department of foreign affairs! you been moved out of accounting yet?" and the bad kids are like "garthy he works for the mafia. sorry we had to break it to you...." and garthy who knows for a fact pok is not in the mafia just goes "....oh?? the mafia?? that's new! i cant imagine the wife likes that very much!"

Pok and Riz have a little moment in Leviathan where they just sit and talk and Pok assures Riz that he's cool and his friends like him and that he wouldve kill to be as cool as riz is when he was his age. Riz falls asleep on Pok and his dad is just glad hes getting some rest. he also sees the tattoos and goes "if your mom asks you got those when i was asleep and i didnt know."

He absolutely hates fallinel but hes been there on so many missions he is just used to high elves and their bs. "Ah.... Pook GikGuk..." "Mhmm. you got it right buddy." While there he just constantly looks so done with just about everything bc he has seen this place so many times there is like no "ooo new place!" value in it is literally just "yep. high elves and their high elven shit." he tells riz if he ever becomes a spy (which he definitely would btw i will die on the secret agent riz hill) to just. get used to this bc he is going to have to deal with this a lot.

In the nightmare forest he finally is like "guys im not apart of the mafia im a spy. i dont work in accounting lol u think my wife would marry some fucking accountant when shes as cool as she is??" and they're like "???? but... u admitted... u were in the mafia.. why would u lie..." "im a spy i literally lie for a living also i barely knew you guys except when you would come over to our house sometimes and stare at me suspiciously while I scrolled through twitter on my laptop" "MAYBE U WERE LOOKING AT UR MAFIA MEMBERS TWITTER" "WHY ON EARTH WOULD MAFIA MEMBERS HAVE TWITTER" "I DONT KNOW?? THEY WANNA LOOK AT MEMES!"

everything for this au is under the "pok lives au" tag bc i have. so many ideas. i am more than willing to take drawing ideas for this please ask me about this au (srs)

[strawberryspeachy]

S4e10 is the first time i want to actually rewatch an entire episode of handmaids tale.... ok wait second time - was it the new “ofglen” who blew up that important building with all the commanders inside and the handmaids outside - that ending was great

But omg

First off elizabeths moss’s acting!!! Ive gotten too used to that same dreadful look shes been making for the past couple seasons that... the wide range of facial expressions really surprised me and it just!! Wow

the suspence the whole episode. Nothing EVER goes right in this show. I knew what i wanted to see but i fully expected fred and serena to go free and happy. That back and forth feeling was super engaging

I loved that even though there was that tension between june and moira before, moira jumped right back to trying to fight and doing all the screaming and ranting for june - someones gotta do it and june was too mentally exausted

K like im still confused why everyone can go in and out of the waterford prison so easily and was like.... dooooo they want june to kill him?!?!? Why are you leaving her alone???

And i was so excited like yesssss shes gonna kill himmm - well first i thought she was gonna go to serena and kill her baby

But when she was walking around that room... like a cat pretending not to notice the mouse in the room - we just know june too well to think she wasnt at least planningggg something

Also fred is fucking DISGUSTINGGGGG as usual. Lying during his ... conference like WHY are you just gonna beleive this psycho at face value?!

Oh and serena thinking shes got all the power back.

Omg the two of them. I cant

And fred really being such a fucking disgusting person to think ANY part of june enjoyed his torture. She is so strong dude - i could never sit there not knowing if my plan will work and playing nice. I thought she was gonna break that glass and stab him

And like. Ok. Lukes not the worst but also - his whole - just get over it!!! Attitude.... even if she cant get him on the wall why are you reprimanding her and trying to pretend she can just get over that trauma with some food. Absolutr lack of empathy.

But june saying hes gonna be on the wall... i was so giddy!!

And i rewatched that smile she made when larence told her she hanst lost her touch- well she could barely contain her smile throughout that entire negotiation. And i loved watching larence put on a show like ‘ah we rlly miss waterford! My brother!!’

Gah and just. Also... i kinda thought june was gonna kill mark when she was outside his building. Men in this show. She went through 7 years of hell and you told her youd help and fucked her over and then throw an entire dramatic tempertantrum when she calmly sits on a bench near your house.... lol wow..i mean uncomfortable but have some prespective

And i wanna say the like demand straight to - oh im sorry. Didnt mean to he a cunt - i meant please? Act june did, its not overacting but knowing june it is so it was funny af

The suspence watching fred get ready to go.., i was literally chanting for the plane to be to gilead but it was so much better! Watchint him get arrested all shocked. “Im a man! I have rights” all the fucking ew... open the door back up and slap him

I just thought he was gonna get sent back and wed watch the commanders all hang him. But it to be lawrence - again with his ‘oh? Is there anything i can do to stop this? No? Ok bye fred!’

And i mean i knew we were in for a treat with nick taking him but i was NOT EXPECTING JUNE to just POP OUT of the trees!!! Fucking perfect. A literal horror movie just for fred

Also why did he keep calling nick son.... like... no one likes you???? Do you really think you can regain power just saying words like this???

And this is e first time i fucking LOVED seeing june in a red coattt and her faceeee like last episode when she turned from calm to screaming - it wad so good and so intense and such good acting and that heartbeat music got me

But hereeeee i cant even desribe the combination or rage and calmness pouring out. Not to be a weeb but thats the first time i think ive ever seen a live action representation of how i imagine anime cool characters to act

That power play of nick and june making out in front of fred loool - i dont care about the ships but that was perfect

“This is sick” - whats sick is how you never run out of things to do and say that make me feel sick...

I loved how june told him to choose - i feel like jt was a call back to his lawyer saying that she CHOSE to be a handmaid. Like theres not good option here

Does anyone think she actually would have shot him dead IF he did choose the gun - part of me wants an alterantive ending where he chose that just so i could watch june either tell him ‘no thats too easy’ or like shoot him in the foot so he cant even run right before being like

Oops i missed and chasing him down anyway

I hate horror movies but watching them all chase him down UGHHH IVE NEVER FELT SO MUCH GLEEE - k not never but ya know

OMG ALMOST FORGOT that sceneee with june and emily talking at the table about how june wants him to be scared to death. And fucking luke - with his judgements turning and looking. I feelll like.... emily helped june decide to do this. Because after getting to the end of the episode it seemed more like they were planning in plain sight in thay scene

I havent rewarched the show. So maybe im remembering incorrectly but it does feel like this fits because - wasnt emily kind of what inspired june to actively start rebelling when she drove the car around and ran one of the guards over

Anddddd the songggg from the 1st? Or 2nd??? Season. The ending right? I just remember that the last time we heard that song was when june first started a quiet resistance against gilead and all the handmaids were together in it. So it brought back those feelings of like ‘FINALLY its happening!!’ And it fit soooo perfectlyyy

When the girls first ran up to fred i thought they were gonna surround him and reinact that “shame” thing they used to be forced to do. I mean i guess they did without actually saying it cause they definitely killed him the way gilead forced the handmaids to kill people in the first season

And it was wonderful to watch! Thank you handmaids tale for making me feel like a psychotic sadist for enjoying that ENTIRE scene. I was giggling like i was watching a disney movie

Gonna ignore that part where june picks up the baby covered in blood - ew

I wanted to seeeeee serena get the finger - more so - i wanted to watch tha family come in and get her and be like - hey guess what your coming back to gilead!!! And see it end with serena as a fucking handmaid - GIVING BIRTH TO THE BABY BETWEEN (i forget the one who visited hers name) LEGS!

But fuck seeing fred on a wall with the “dont let the bastards grind you down” from the the very beginningggg - it felt sooo goodddd

And i just needed to squeal over this episode some more! I watched it hours ago. But i kinda wanna rewatch it rnn

[freunwol]

do you happen to have any more phanlumi food i'm so sorry but i'm starving dfgkjdfkjdfg

YELLS UH its been a hot minute but i will provide uwu

- i stand by them not telling the other heroes abt them dating for like way too long, i think eventually phantom would just wanna keep it quiet to fuck with them when they finally did reveal it however much later (”ive had so many conversations with you two how the fuck did you keep it secret” “honestly i dont know either”)

- i also stand by lumi writing shitty poetry with his whole heart, like super stilted but he means it so much...idk that hed be bad at poetry in general but when it comes to his own feelings he doesnt know how to express them aside from Very Literally or not that much at all

- which on the topic of that, makes properly opening up abt his own stuff hard, both out of embarrassment for being too honest AND potentially initially feeling like he should be able to shoulder phantoms weird bull and not burden him...that falls apart as they like talk n shit but i think when theyve just done that Single Genuine Convo i mentioned he’d still have that feeling.

- phan prolly feels like utter trash when lumi explains how much finding out he’s part bm fucked w him...like he thought it would just get on his nerves but no he was having an existential crisis Oops

- lumi doesnt rlly blame him tho...not really. like he knows holding it against him would be silly considering tensions were high at that point and phan didnt know, but... :thinking: (ik thats not happy but even for a while lumi likely still shoves any resentment down, force of habit yknow? and hopefully eventually he’ll feel comfortable enough knowing phantom wouldnt hate him for bringing up past stuff that he could properly communicate stuff that hurt)

...im curious how much of this will change once they rewrite stuff LMAO that whole hc was based on the hom encounter and how much i dislike it kfjdghskfjdshgfdjsk

- tho BASED on the hom encounter, taking it at face value, phan would prolly understand more why lumi snapped back since phan happened to swing a bat at a hornets nest. and given how phan is he may just forgive it on that since lumi would honestly never say something like that unless he was really at the edge of his rope (THESE ARE ALL SO SERIOUS BUT INSECURITIES AND COMMUNICATION ARE IMPORTANT PARTS OF A RELATIONSHIP YKNOW UR GONNA KNOW SOMEONE MORE THAN LIKE ANYTHING ELSE OK THEY HAVE HURDLES!!!)

- i think if they have an argument every sentence is preceded by like “you know i love you but that chair does not fucking go there”

- phan goes between growing his hair out and having it short, and when its long lania braids it and stuff. lumi never comments on it but he thinks it cute

- phan tries to convince lumi to grow his out but lumis afraid it’ll make him look like wm so he tells him to dye then grow it which prompts an eye roll followed by a slightly too serious deliberation on what color would be fitting (brunette lumi? :eyes:)

- phan tries and completely fails to teach lumi how to dance

- oh my god there was a fluff text abt lumi and lania making a cream cheese spread and i cant entirely remember it but its dear to me and wait ho0ly shit

- they prolly cant cook like ~20 star michelin chefs~ on the lumiere but having just a plain ol homecooked meal would prolly send phan into tears when he first tries it

- and he cherishes all the little snacks and bits and stuff lumi and lania makes and tries to help out but aside from like chopping vegetables he doesnt rlly know what hes doing

- fuck super domestic phanlumi melts my heart im just picturing him and lumi gathering apples from nearby trees and theyre chatting and the light through the trees catches on lumi perfectly and phans heart melts hOUGH good shit

- and on the flipside i mentioned him and phantom looking at the moon on the lumiere and one particular night even tho lumi never rlly paid any attention to his looks it hits him perfectly and he just understands what ppl see all at once

- and he cherishes the nights they can do that even more now

- these have been kind of phantom centric oops but i think, again, lumi really cherishes being able to talk honestly with him and understand him- and being able to express that even in a minor way. hes a very caring person T~T

i wrote so much more than i thought i would and i can prolly write more but like. soft idiots

[rant-2-me]

i feel like im getting notthing done these days, like my life just going to complete waste. i should be doing something with my life by now i think, like im studying enough and im not rlly been feeling happy lately either cause i feel so much stress. i have exams in like 3 weeks and i dont know what to do for that either.

oh my sweet nonnie, listen,

There’s no set time frame for doing anything.

you can do things in your own time without having to worry about being “behind.” Sometimes it’s the things we do that feel like “stalling” or “getting off track” that end up being the most helpful for our growth.

theres a lot of sugarcoating advice on the internet that might say you're not wasting your life, and don’t get me wrong, that’s true — but it doesn’t help your situation at all.

You don't need to be "doing anything" with your life right now, maybe right now you just need to

Success is not measured by the rate in which we accomplish something, but in the fact that we have accomplished something

What you need is action.

you need to do something that makes you happy and is easy(ish) to do.

The best way to find direction is to trust your instincts instead of forcing yourself to do things because you think you “should.”

Your intuition is a powerful compass, and even if you think you aren’t making progress, if you’re following your instincts, you are.

There are always going to be opportunities that look good on paper, and that little, scared voice within may tell you that your life will only matter if you take them.

Other people may also tell you this, if not directly, indirectly; or you may assume they’re thinking this when really they’re too immersed in their own confusing journey to pass judgment on yours for long.

But sometimes the best opportunities are the ones you don’t take, leaving yourself open for choices that better align with your own values and priorities.

I know this may sound as impossible as growing wings and flying, but try not to worry so much about what other people might think. They may have expectations, but you aren't responsible for the vision of you they've made up in their minds.

The only one who can make wise decisions for you is you. And even if it makes you feel anxious at times, you will eventually thank yourself for being brave enough to follow your heart, not someone else’s head.

When it comes to creating purpose, there truly is no “wrong” decision.

You may think you only have one purpose and that you need to push yourself to find it, you can continue thinking this, if you’re okay with feeling pressured and scared.

Or instead of aiming to discover the one thing you’re supposed to do with your life, you could focus on discovering the one thing you want to try right now,

you can change direction any time. And that changing direction won’t be something to be ashamed of; it won’t mean you failed at discovering your purpose before. It will mean you had one purpose then, and now your purpose has changd—evolved.

It will mean you’re brave enough to let yourself evolve, repeatedly undertaking the sometimes terrifying process of discovering what else you can do.

Maybe that in itself can be a purpose—to live life in that vulnerable, uncertain place where you’re not boxed into one way of being, free to roam when it would feel much safer to tether yourself to one role.

How to get things done

1. before you actually do anything, take a whole day to shamelessly do nothing. its just one (1) day to relax,calm down, do something that makes you happy, let your entire body take a breath before it springs into action, an arrow draws back before it hits it target

2. when you wake up the next morning, dont reach for your phone. dont scroll social media or check the news. in fact, before you start your day, (if its possible) switch off your phone or put it on do not disturb put it somewhere your mind wont wander towards. give it to a friend and tell them not to give it back until u sit down and finish your work.

3. start by finishing tasks you figure will take less than 2 minutes.

need to water the plants? it'll take less than 2 minutes; do it. need to feed the fish? takes less than two minutes; do it! get all the easy work out of the way first.

4. check what your most time sensitive tasks are. finish them first.

5. try and figure out whats stopping you from doing something. most of the time it isn't just "laziness" that stopping you from doing something, sometimes its because the perfectionist in you is worried that if you try hard on that you'll fail. but the thing is, you can try again. and again. and again, and again until you get it right. try chipping at it slowly

for example, say you have to take notes for a class, and you have 10 pages to copy down, before you start watching a tv show, just write 2 pages of notes. you can also try the pomodoro method: do work for 25 minutes, then take a 5 minute break. repeat.

but something like studying and having hobby is something that needs to be repeated, over and over again, like a routine

How to add something into your routine:

start easy. the first time you do the hobby, it should be a cake walk

e.g:

exercise every day first day: 5 push ups.

1000 words every day first day: 10 words and so on.

try to do the activity after or before or even during a hobby you already do e.g.:

read 20 books in a year and you already: drink tea every day so you should: read 5 pages as you drink tea

you want to learn a language and you already: plait your hair before you sleep so you should: watch a video teaching you about that language before you plait your hair

mountains are easier to climb with a friend, so you can get someone to do it with you!

How to study

Get a good night’s sleep: A recent study found a positive relationship between students’ grades and how much sleep they’re getting. However, this doesn’t only mean getting a full 8 hours of sleep before a big test. What matters, even more, is getting enough sleep for several nights before you do the bulk of your studying.

Switch up your study environment: Studies show that switching up your study environment can increase recall performance. Instead of studying at home every day, try checking out a new coffee spot each week or heading to your local library. A change in scenery can improve both your memory and concentration levels.

Stick with an environment that works: If you have a good space at home or a café that is reliably a productive place for you, it makes sense to stick with this when you are under pressure.

Listen to calming music: You can listen to any music you like, but many agree that classical, instrumental, and lo-fi beats make good background music for studying and can actually help you pay attention to the task at hand. Songs with lyrics can be distracting.

Eliminate distractions: Eliminate distractions by silencing your phone and any annoying background noises such as the TV or radio. Make a pact with yourself to avoid checking social media until your study session is over.

Snack on smart food: Coffee and candy will give you a temporary boost, but then you’ll have a damn sugar crash. For energy that is more focused and sustainable, try healthy snacks such as edamame, apples, or nuts.

and most importantly!

grades and test scores =/= your value as a human being

aight nonnie, that is all, *mwah* i believe in you, i believe that your strong and wonderful and you can handle this, *hugs you (if youre ok w it)* please take care of yourself

dont forget to drink water, get some sleep, eat some food, and please take care of yourself!! have a nice day,

mod peppermint out B)

[divine-draws]

okay i had a whole google doc that i wrote a buncha shit but imma try to CONDENSE it and make my ideas more clear bc there was some wishy washy in there. BUT dabihawks ice skating au bc im gay for that shit. all of it under the cut bc this shit is gunna get LONG. buckle in fuckers. ALSO FEEL FREE TO ASK ME ABOUT this i will be happy to answer shit :3c

SO fair warning before we begin. i know shit about ice sports. im like 1) not THAT educated nor have i legit participated though ive always wanted to and 2) this is just self indulgent so like if i dont get shit right or whatever dont come at me bro. im here to have FUN and live a bit vicariously. also as for location of all this shit i dont know and dont care and am american so my perspective on things are skewed. anyway cw: abuse mention

so dabi (touya) is a previous figure skater

he’s a figure skating prodigy 

enji was a pro hockey player (id say figure skating but this man was BUILT like a brick shithouse idk man) has a lot of championships under his belt but doesnt even begin to touch the legacy of his one sided rival yagi toshinori

him and rei meet and marry at a young age. she like.. actually liked him then?? shit was kinda okay but things kinda.... got bad quick. the abuse etc was ... yeah. she ends up having dabi and fuyumi (they’re twins babeyy) at a young age too and kinda doesnt feel like she can get out of her horrible marriage 

we wont dwell too much on the bad part of all of this though. anyway rei was a figure skater

p well known and known for her fucking GRACE god she moved so well on the ice.

she was so beautiful and spoke through her movements and enji loved that... and so as a hockey player and with a (now previous) figure skater wife he was like aight my kids WILL take up an ice sport and be the FUCKING BEST

dabi isnt made for hockey. enji tries to get him into it but it’s... nah... fuyumi isnt the best with figure skating. she’s good!! and her and dabi do some pair skating when they’re younger but it’s.. hm. dabi is the one with the clear talent here. (fuyumi is a beast on the ice when it comes to hockey though. will dominate. but she kinda... didnt really continue with it)

enji isnt PLEASED that his son isnt gunna be a hockey player but he still values figure skating and will fucking make sure he’s the BEST at it. and so the brutal training starts. he gets some good coaches and also takes up the coaching mantle 

the thing is.. rei was amazing as a skater but her body just... wasnt really made for all of that??? and dabi unfortunately kinda inherited that. his body hates the impacts and such. he’s amazing at figure skating. he has a grace similar to his mothers but there’s something more fierce to him. 

and honestly !!! he gets far!!

also natsuo comes around. he’s a bit too clumsy for either sport and resents the fact that him and fuyumi are neglected by their father. he also loves touya and gets so pissed seeing his brother so hurt

and shouto is born and this kid was made to be on the ice. he’s skating from the moment he can fucking stand on his own.

obvs enji’s attention is split but it’s mainly on touya who is winning championships and GOING places but it’s still not good enough

anyway idk how far he goes?? but it’s the biggest competition yet and on ice mid routine he lands wrong

one thing leads to the next and he’s pretty much medically retired from a young age. he can skate. he can still kinda preform but he cant do what he used to at ALL and he cant keep up with the brutal pace enji sets. there’s a lot of trying to push him still and it’s just.. not happening

for all it’s worth dabi is kinda glad he isnt doing it anymore. but he fears for his babies brother. shouto is a natural and while yes being a professional athlete of any sort is brutal on your body, his body is a lot more capable

but like touya before, shouto is pushed to his absolute limits. bleeding and injuries and puking his guts out from being pushed too far

there’s a lotta resentment but he still pushes through w skating. 

(side note but there DEF is some todomido/tododeku w hockey player izuku who ends up being coached by THE yagi toshinori and who helps shouto out w making shit his own)

anyway so in the end dabi ends up working at a rink tho lol

it’s p much owned by shigarai and run by the lov (who in this au end up making their own little ragtag unofficial local hockey team p much and play games against other teams like them)

despite his father’s whole career, dabi does enjoy playing hockey with these dipshits

but yeah he enjoys his time working at the rink, fucking around and sleeping in random places and sometimes running the zamboni

he’s also best frenemies with shigaraki. they get along and both deal with a shitty upbringing and despite some slight animosity they both would kill if someone fucked w the other 

(also at some point dabi DEF teaches some little kid classes lol)

also dabi does sometimes skate his own routines from time to time. only when he’s alone really. though fuyumi has a pass to be there though he will gripe still

SO HAWKS AM I RIGHT??

now there is a couple ways to go with this and somewhere in me there is an au with hockey player hawks who takes skating lessons from figure skater dabi BUT

i think for this au we’ll just say he was a figure skater from the get go

i think he WANTED to do hockey as a kid. like shouto he’s also a fucking natural and was skating as soon as he could fucking stand and walk. and he looked up to enji and kinda wanted to take up hockey but 

listen,,, trans hawks. who wanted to be like todoroki enji and be a pro hockey player. shit just.. didnt work like that though and besides he’s a tiny dude and god he’d be fucking obliterated 

he kinda is self taught and the ice is his escape from his shitty home life

idk how this works but listen gotta tie in the commission somehow???

he’s scouted or whatever for figure skating at a very young age and his mom is happy to take the heavy scholarships and happy to sign him over to skate for these ppl and have them push him to be The Best

and this kid is FAST. he’s fast and is insane with his jumps and stg it almost looks like he’s FLYING (which gets him the nickname hawks)

the coaches are brutal and shit sucks and a lot of the time it kinda sucks the life out of the sport but he still enjoys it

he has a love for outfits that legit have flare to them (also im thinking of johnny weir’s one outfit w the feathers but yknow instead of white they are RED) and while he does do routines to boring ass music he mainly likes doing shit different (also dabi was p much forced the whole time to do shit to that boring ass music but on his own he’d use his own music taste to skate to)

and he’s good!! he GOES places. he’s like makes it to the olympics at a young age and is one of THE youngest gold medalists for figure skating

im sure somewhere along the line him and dabi DID meet. it was at some competition and hawks was VIBRATING bc there’s ENJI and he wants and autograph and oH GOD IS THAT HIS SON??? he’s HOT. (and at this time dabi still had his red hair and like no piercings and what little ones he had they were out but this dumbass will not recognize him later on)

but god he needs to chill TF out or he will fuck up in the competition 

he hears about dabi’s whole accident and like feels for him but again it’s not like they were friends. there was more of a slight rivalry and they barely spoke if they did

but so idk like.. between seasons hawks finds himself going like nearly every day to this rink.. aka shigaraki’s rink (also sidenote but lbr it’s really run by shirakumo who kinda has to fucking herd the cats w this group)

as frenemies dabi and shigaraki share their distaste for some of these pro athletes (tho some get a pass) and kinda complain about hawks a bit tho like..... shigaraki cant complain TOO much bc of the money from hawks renting out the rink for a few hours almost every day

dabi is too gay for this shit when he actually sees hawks in action. rip him 

tbh they dont really interact tho (besides dabi telling him to gtfo the rink or he’ll run him over with the zamboni) until one day that hawks catches dabi skating

he was done and should have been gone but he forgot something on the bleachers and then he sees dabi and.. oh boy he’s GAY AF

and also dabi is RLLY GOOD???

and so hawks makes a FOOL of himself and startles the poor guy and p much presses all the wrong buttons w asking why he doesnt compete or something

and i mean im sure they had some SLIGHT progress w talking before. nothing significant but god the walls go RIGHT THE FUCK UP and dabi is pissed

tbh dabi was gunna get to the point where he LEGIT talked to him and maybe lowkey asked him out (he says this but shigaraki calls his bluff) and now there is no way. he storms off and tries to avoid him so hard

and hawks tries to corner him a bit but after some time he does manage to corner him and be like pls just let me take you out to dinner to make up for that shit????

aaand dabi accepts bc listen okay he cant say no to free food ??? like he’s kinda pissy w this guy but also.. listen he has EYES 

anywayyy p much this just leads to them dating

hawks DEF looks him up and watches all the vids of him and like the idiot he is realizes that he met him before ( “oh my GOD i know you” “uh… we’re dating i hope u know me?????”  “nO I MEAN WE MET AT (insert comp)”)

but before that dabi did like tell him some shit. mainly about like how he used to skate blah blah and the whole thing that ended all of that

he doesnt really delve too deep into like his shitty childhood until well later

idk what leads to it but the convo finally comes up and it’s so draining for dabi and hawks is horrified and ready to fight his dad (“listen i just sharpened my skates i’ll just-”)

anyway some side things bc this is long and i will answer questions on this tho

rumi is a women’s pro hockey player and fuyumi who actually follows hockey and shit has the BIGGEST crush on her (they end up together)

also natsuo comes to see one of the leagues games (he hasnt really seen them play tbh?? he hears about it from dabi but he lives like at least a few hours away on campus and is going for med school so rip him) and like he meets shigaraki and anyway dabi is losing his FUCKING MIND bc his best frenemy/boss and his younger brother are FLIRTING. RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM???

dabi and hawks are really gay together and have skated together by this point and made out on ice a few times and shigaraki was miserable and is like “NOW U KNOW!!” and dabi is pissed bc “yEAH BUT THAT”S MY LITTLE BROTHER??? IT”S NOt thE SAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” 

[kaneshiroflms]

Endgame things and thoughts

Nebula and Tony hanging out was so adorable they have my heart :<

Carol singlehandingly bringing a wholeass ship back to earth ?ugh her mind

Thanos just chilling and cooking and Carol just fucking going for him is poetic cinema

Thor saying “I went for the head”

5 FUCKINF YEARS?!

Scott being saved by a rat? Iconic.

Scott panicking when looking for Cassie’s name then seeing her all grown up and ok was heartbreaking specially knowing he didn’t get to see her grow up

Scott giving all he could to get the others back and trying his best not to breakdown when mentioning Hope

“She’s my.. she was my..”

Scott saying he lost someone very important to him :((

I dont rlly ship them but the Carol and Rhodey interaction was cool of them to reference

Carol and Nat’s hair is sending me

Tony as a father is so adorable and i love morgan already

I’ve read posts saying that Tony rejecting helping them with the time heist was sefish, but he just didn’t want to risk losing the people he loves again. He didn’t want his daughter to lose a father or lose Pepper since him being back was already a second chance for him

Peter being his motivation :((

Morgan is so much like his dad uwu Tony is such a great dad

Valkyrie in midgaurdian clothes

KORG

Thor having a beer belly made the entire theatre gasp lmao

I also think they did him dirty. Specially since he clearly had ptsd and it seemed like they just turned it to a joke

Scott turning into a baby and Tony knowing he turned to a baby lmao

Bruce giving Scott tacos after his first one fell

Scott being friendly to Nebula :<

Scott giving 2012 Tony a cardiac arrest and 2023 Tony shouting for help lmao

“I could do this all day” “I know”

“That’s America’s ass”

Loki mocking steve

Loki’s lil wave at hulk in the elevator :< i miss my bitch

I really thought they’d make the elevator scene a parallel to the one in tws and we’d see a fight again

2012 Steve letting go of 2023 Steve when he told him that Bucky was alive

Steve and Tony in the 70s!

they should’ve had Dominic Cooper play Howard again.

Tony talking to his dad about his daughter

Peggy still having Steve’s photograph just like he has her’s :((

Steve seeing Peggy :((

JARVIS MY MAN

Nat and Clint being happy and giddy in space makes me cry now knowing whats gonna happen next

Peter singing without music lmao

Fuck thanos for hurting both nebulas

When Clint and Nat’s foreheads were together:( i love their friendship

“Please let me go” :(( Natasha deserved better

The fact that this film values family is so sweet

Thor and Frigga’s interaction and Thor saying his last goodbye to Frigga :((

Thor wanting to be the one to hold the gauntlet so he could do something right :<

Clint’s reaction when his wife called

Why does thanos always let the others do his work smh

Cap wielding mjolnir lemme tell u everyone in the theatre sCREAMED

The shot where Steve was ready to fight thanos and his army alone even before he knew the others would come is just-

“On your left”

Everyone who were gone appearing was so powerful

When peter appeared everyone cHEERED

The fact that everyone was there, Wakandans, Wong, the guardians etc iCONIC

“Avengers, assemble.” C h i l l s

Peter telling Tony what happened and tony hugging him

“Oh this is nice”

T’challa finally saying Clint’s name lmao

Captain Marvel’s entrance

Carol really just flew through a fucking battleship and managed to come out without a single scratch

“Hi im peter parker” “hey peter parker, you got something for me?”

HOPE VAN DYNE

“Is that everyone?” “Like you wanted more?”

“I don’t even know who you are” “you will” Amen sister

And the fact that Wanda singlehandedly nearly killed thanos and thanos had to recruit his army cos he got threatened by a woman

When Peter met Gamora and said “I thought I lost you”

Gamora kicking his balls HAHA

The all women scene was so powerful the entire theatre cheered

It upsets me tho that Natasha who brought them together wasn’t there

Hope and scott teaming up again oh god we dont deserve them

Captain marvel going for thanos the second time and when he tried punching her and she didnt flinch

Tony looking at Stephen was the time he knew what was supposed to be done

When tony had the gauntlet

“I’m inevitable” “i am iron man”

Peter going for tony “mr stark, can you hear me? It’s me peter.” “We won Mr. Stark. We won. You did it”

Pepper gently putting peter aside :((

The fact that pepper said “but will u be able to rest” back in their home when tony told her about the time travel thing and while he was slowly dying she told him “it’s okay, you can rest now”

Also when pepper was trying so hard to pull herself together and even said “we’re going to be okay.” And when she gave him a final kiss in the cheek but breaking down when Tony finally died

Tony’s last message while we see Clint reuniting with his family, T’challa, Shuri and Ramonda watching over the city, Hope, Cassie and Scott watching the sky and being happy

When hologram Tony looked at Morgan and said “I love you 3000” :((

the fact that Morgan lost his father at such a young age and that she wouldn’t get to grow up with a father. She probably doesn’t even understand what was going on

Morgan hugging her mom,, she must be so confused

When everyone was there for the funeral :( even Harley

Carol in those pants? G a y

Bucky in that jacket and jeans? Also gay

VALKYRIE AS THE QUEEN OF ASGARD? Iconic

Peter still searching for Gamora :((

“Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone” “ur bringing all the stupid with u” THAT REFERENCE

“I’ll miss you” “it’s gonna be alright buck” Bucky knew what Steve was gonna do and that he wouldn’t come back

IM LIVING FOR SAM AS THE NEW CAP

“Wanna tell me about her?” *looks to the view and slowly smiles* “no, i dont think i will” HE CLEARLY HAD A HAPPY LIFE AND HE DESERVES IT

Steve and Peggy looked so happy and content and they deserve it

I still didn’t get why some didn’t like Steve’s arc,, Steve created a different timeline in which he comes back to Peggy and they both chose to get married and live together. So there is a different timeline where Peggy moved on, but in this timeline Steve and Peggy gets to be happy and grow old together. Steve is happy and he deserves to be :)

Also do u guys ever wonder if steve came back to the same date and place Peggy told him when he was about to crash the plane :((

The way the movie ended tho,, when right after we see Steve and Peggy dancing and kissing it cuts to black and the lyrics of the song start as the credits start rolling too. It’s such a beautiful way to conclude the phase :”( they ended it with Steve in the 40s, the very first avenger and the decade it all began.

Also the credits where they had their signatures :((

Anyway thats all thanks for coming to my tedtalk,, also feel free to add some more of ur thoughts from the film :)