#there keeps being problems on their side
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hubr1s69 · 1 year ago
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im kinda stuck working in a group project that makes me feel super bad lol why did i agree to do this
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nabaath-areng · 1 month ago
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I have way too many alts that I keep to myself (which is why I generally refrain from posting them), but I'm going to ignore that habit for a moment just because I'm feeling particularly insane about this guy.
#silvis side characters#<--- been a while since i used that tag despite intending it to be for this specific type of char#i basically like to play sandbox with concepts for both screens and writing so they tend to become surprisingly developed#even if i end up not touching them again once im satisfied and have gained the outlet i wanted#... this guy and another connected to him has been unusually persistent however. surprisingly so. LOL#maybe i should post them more``??? but for some reason that feels weird cause what if i just dont use them again!!#idk why i feel like im setting up expectations i need to hold. literally no one is putting pressure on me to do anything its ALL in my brai#i mean its a bit because i know i got too much and thats overwhelming and therefore its not like i expect anyone to keep track of them LOL#im regretfully cursed with too much inspiration for too many things at all times and i will make it everyone elses problem just for a bit#anyway the reason i dont intend to make this one a more major oc for use with other people (for the time being at least)#is because he's so HEAVILY tied to another side character of mine in a way where im not sure they can be separated from each other.#actually you can see him now i realize its the viera in the first shot lmao!#i forgot to mention his name is yuzuru and thats about as much as ill inflict on anyone right now <333#i promise you i dont JUST have male midlanders as unbelievable as that might sound. anyway-#ffxiv#final fantasy xiv#hyur#midlander#ffxiv screenshot#gpose#gposers#ff14#final fantasy 14#nabaath-areng
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quibbs126 · 1 month ago
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Something that’s been bothering me, in Cyberverse Season 1 we hear about the Decepticon cause being made because Megatron wanted to fight against and change the corruption on Cybertron
But like, we never actually saw any of that in the flashbacks. Best you can say is Starscream having a high opinion of himself due to being a jet (or at least that’s what I think was going on? It was something about Starscream and being a jet), but you can also assume Starscream’s just being an ass, not that this is a systemic issue on Cybertron. Outside of that, everyone seems to have been doing fine, they got along and everyone was vibing and having fun, going to Cube games and chilling at Maccadam’s, going out to do some racing on a vacation to Velocitron
I do suppose we were limited to only seeing things that Bee witnessed himself, but he was there for other important events before war was declared, we could have seen some more evidence that things were bad on Cybertron before the war and why Megatron and Optimus were so intent on changing things
As it is, it feels more like telling and not showing, and I don’t really understand why the Decepticon cause was needed in the first place. Well I mean I do, but that’s because I know the story in other continuities, not because Cyberverse told me
And if I can pivot slightly, I feel like this is an issue in other shows as well. Earthspark barely went into the backstory of the war at all, only making vague allusions like the “lower-class” remark and Orion Pax getting the Matrix (which honestly I don’t remember why he got at all and if it was related to the war). And yes, Earthspark was about moving forward after the war, but also the show wanted to portray Decepticons in a more neutral light, allowing them their second chances to do better after the war. Not to mention Megatron switching sides due to realizing how far he’d strayed from his original cause. I don’t feel like telling the Terrans the original causes of the war would be out of question, it makes all the sense. Also if we’re trying to portray the Decepticons as not being pure evil, explaining the horrible conditions that drove them to starting it would do wonders. Megatron is here, he can tell the Terrans with all the correct info if the Autobots can’t
Prime also has this problem, but I’m willing to give it a lot more leeway because it was part of the Aligned continuity, which was made up of more than just this one show, and Transformers Exodus I’m told went into this backstory a lot more. So okay, it’s explained somewhere. Though personally, I wish we went into this backstory a bit more in the actual show, because all I know from it was that Megatron was a gladiator fighting for change, Orion Pax met him and agreed, then they proposed their ideas for change to the Senate and it caused them to split. I don’t actually know why they were fighting for change. Again, I know Exodus did and it was around at the same time as the show, but we don’t all have access to Exodus. And honestly it might be the reason the other shows don’t go into it much either, despite it being the only one with an excuse
Like I think this annoys me because it feels like the shows expect you to know the general backstory so we don’t have to go into it. But you’re supposed to tell us this, especially when this isn’t like Batman or Superman’s origins where everyone knows the backstory of the war
I know what the backstory is, but not because these shows told me. It’s because Emperor Kumquat told me in a YouTube video where he was explaining the Aligned backstory from Exodus, while making the point that people who only watched Prime wouldn’t know all of this. How was I supposed to know this information if I hadn’t?
And to go back to Cyberverse, I can make excuses for Prime and Earthspark; both were set long after the war started and Prime especially didn’t have much reason to go into it outside of what it did. But not only did Cyberverse have the means to show us corrupt pre-war Cybertron vis Bumblebee’s flashbacks in Season 1, it had at least a little leaning to making the Decepticons more sympathetic. They are still for the most part antagonistic, but it did make the point that Optimus originally agreed with Megatron, we had bots on both sides getting along during peace talks and Windblade being angry at Slipstream’s killer, had most of the main threats not be Megatron’s forces that had the two sides forced to team up, and by the latter half of Season 3, had Megatron be more heroic, with him saving the day from the Quintessons and wielding his own Matrix of Leadership, and working to stop the other him that he knows is coming to reclaim his Matrix. They aren’t at Earthspark Season 1’s level, but they weren’t making the Decepticons pure evil either. So I feel like we should really see what it is they were fighting for originally
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brionysea · 3 months ago
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if stranger things 5 comes out and they're like 'omg! the upside down has been a product of someone's dark and twisted mind this whole time! it's... WILL!' I'll immediately lose interest
#manifestation theory#I really hope not#like I don't. hate will. he's fine. but he's so easily likable that it doesn't feel rewarding to like him?#mike wheeler's been a menace this whole time so I had to put in work to figure him out#and they literally said 'getting to mike is the key' which would make sense if by understanding mike you understand everything#in the show where no one knows what's going on and also no one knows what mike wheeler is thinking ever. unrelated ofc#he isn't important look away. don't look at him#like why would they! make him the bad guy! if they're not going to MAKE HIM THE BAD GUY!!!!!#I'd say it makes too much sense not to do it but I'm always saying that and then these stupid shows do stupid things anyway#because. listen. if one of them is the heart and one of them has to die for the upside down to be permanently defeated#and that person is will#there's no conflict there. everyone loves will. because he's designed to be likable and for you to want him alive#but MIKE? mike's flawed. he's frustrating. he's a bad friend and a worse boyfriend. he's very obnoxiously a teenage boy#if it's mike the audience would need to be reminded that this is a Child‚ and no matter how much you personally dislike them#wanting children to die because you think they're useless and annoying and etc. IS NOT NORMAL#THAT'S NOT NORMAL! ESPECIALLY WHEN MIKE ALREADY THINKS THAT ABOUT HIMSELF!#mike being the heart gives the 'maybe we should just kill him' side of the trolley problem weight#think about it. really think about it. if they decide that mike has to die to keep everyone safe‚ what's going to happen?#the adults won't agree. hopper won't do it. he talked about killing mike before but he won't ACTUALLY let any of these kids die#maybe mike jumps off a cliff again but he needed the pressure of dustin's immediate safety and a countdown to make himself do it last time#what I think is more likely? nancy. she has guns in her bedroom (there's a 6 year old in the house I know where I keep my guns; her SISTER)#she hates the upside down for taking barb and making her feel like this; she wants to finish what they started - she wants to kill it.#if mike has to die‚ then nancy has to kill her own brother. because he can't do it himself and his big sister can do anything#does that sound right to you? this being the first time they agree and connect and are on the same page? is any of this right?
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bonefall · 1 year ago
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are amphibians like newts and frogs considered aquatic? i know crustaceans & mollusks would be
Yes they are! Generally, the more time it spends on land, the closer it will be to 5 calories than 4. The estimate was actually based on frogs and tadpoles, I had to make an educated guess.
My best source was a feeding chart from a reptile food website which sells whole small prey for consumption by snakes. It perfectly lists out the values of dozens of small animals, but no fish. So I took a note of the 4 calorie estimate, observed that an adult frog increases in calories compared to tadpoles (bucking the trend with the others on the list where younger animals are worth more caloric value) and went on to do more research
I couldn't find a source that broke down WHOLE prey caloric value like the chart, so I ended up comparing caloric value between rabbit fillets, chicken fillets, and fish fillets on human-centric nutrition websites. My hypothesis was mostly consistent, even with more species added. Fish (perch, flounder, pike) < Wild Mammal (rabbit, squirrel) < Poultry (chicken, turkey, quail). There was overlap between "classes", certain fish getting over the 100 hump, but generally there was a trend I boiled down into 4/5/6
This is consistent with how a lot of fish meat is actually water. In fact, cats quench a lot of their thirst from the food they eat. I also learned some very interesting stuff about the fat distribution in fish which is going to blow a bit of a hole in some of my Clan culture stuff lmaoooo, but I'll furiously swim across that obliterated bridge when I get there
But funfact! Fish oil is rendered fish fats and it is the form that unsaturated fat takes, whereas lard is what saturated fats become. I need to do more research into this topic to understand what kind of difference it would make in a wild cat's diet.
There was one big bucked trend though: salmonid meat was WAAAAY higher in fat and calories. Like, absurdly high. Like 150 cal trout fillet vs 110 cal of rabbit fillet vs 88 cal of perch fillet.
I do not know why that is. My guess is that maybe it's because they were taking the number from farmed salmonids? Maybe it's because they're particularly fatty fish? Perhaps this is just the raw power of salmon slammin'.
Anyway, at one point I was trying to estimate exact caloric value per popular prey species, but decided I didn't have the "backing" to get so exact with the numbers since I was doing estimates with the fish. I'll do the work if it comes down to it, but for now, 4/5/6 is a quick, easy guideline you can use for just about any WC project.
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blueskittlesart · 2 years ago
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do u have any navi thoughts from your oot replay
i've been waiting to answer this until I actually beat the game in my current playthrough because navi is another one of those characters that i think of in like a "set" with several other characters who serve relatively the same thematic purpose; in this case that purpose being the "mother" character, and i wanted to have all the characters in that set fresh in my mind. it's notable that while oot shows us very clear and consistent instances of the ways in which the adults of hyrule fail to protect their children, there ARE several adults who DO go out of their way to both oppose ganondorf and protect and nurture the children under their care. All of these characters are adult women, and all of them explicitly help the children out of some sort of parental responsibility or sense of duty towards them. in this group I include link's late mother, impa, nabooru, and navi.
all 4 mother characters, despite being adults or adult-coded, reject the inaction mentality which characterizes other adults in the game. they become either direct supports or shields to their children from the conflict the world has to offer them, and they are always explicitly punished for their interference--link's mother is killed trying to protect her son, impa's village is burned, nabooru is brainwashed. The mother's fatal flaw is that she will protect her child above all else, even in a world in which children cannot truly be protected. however, with the exception of link's mother, these characters manage to persist even in the face of her punishment, and this is where I think navi becomes the exemplary character.
Navi, after a lifetime of being link's only support system, the only adult in his life he could truly, consistently count on, receives her punishment at the hands of ganondorf--in the final battle, she is pushed out. she is unable to reach her child. she cannot protect him. However, BECAUSE link has grown up with her at his side, he is strong enough to take ganondorf down. and when ganon rises again, navi is there to support link, promising not to leave his side, and the intuitive targeting of that battle (a mechanic which navi is inherently tied to!!) makes it a cinch to win. Navi, and the other mothers we meet, are a reminder to the player that the world doesn't HAVE to be the way it is. Their persistence when punished, their insistence that their children ought to be protected, is a reminder that good adults do exist, and that good adults raise good children. link and zelda are able to win in spite of the adults who refused to help them, but also BECAUSE of the adults who DID. It's a reinforcement of the core theme of oot--that childlike idea that the world SHOULD be good and fair and if it isn't, it should be changed until it is. The mothers of oot are examples of what the world COULD be, reminders that it is possible to grow up without losing hope or growing bitter, and they are examples of the next step for the children they've raised to change the word--to continue fighting even in the face of punishment, to refuse inaction, and to foster that same hope and persistence in the generations to come.
#one thing i've really been noticing this time around is the specific way in which navi's targeting works#because even though other 3d games have that targeting mechanic navi's targeting is noticeably different#in two ways. the first being that she specifically targets weak spots in enemies almost as if she is pointing them out to link#and the second being that she is capable of targeting things link himself doesn't see#whether it be invisible enemies or triggers that are out of his reach or scarecrow points or whatever#it's really reminiscent to me of the way you teach problem solving skills to a kid. you see them struggling with something and beginning to#get frustrated and you say 'hey let's look around. do you see any solutions?' and if they can't see the solution themself you might point#and say 'hey what's that?' just to get their attention on it and help facilitate that train of thought for them#because like in most other games targeting is sort of assumed to be link's own intuition in battle#and therefore it will usually allow you to focus on one enemy within a swarm of them but it won't explicitly light up the weak spot for you#navi does that for link because she's essentially the mother teaching her kid how to problem-solve.#and when she's taken away in the final battle link is able to fight anyway BECAUSE she put so much time and effort into raising him#that he no longer needs her to facilitate that problem-solving process. he already knows how to beat ganondorf#because he's done it with her before. and that's exactly the mother's role in her child's life#protect him and raise him as best you can so that when you can no longer be by his side he isn't afraid.#foster that sense of justice and encourage him to keep fighting to change the world even when it seems unchangeable.#god. ocarina of fucking time#zelda analysis#asks
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sea-buns · 8 months ago
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Y'know I love everything Supergiant is doing with the mechanics and the encounters but I gotta say. Really kills the mood when you take a blessing from Circe that changes your voice and then meet Icarus. The times you see him at all are so few and far between and twice now have I had my giddiness at one of their sweet interactions stomped out bc Mel sounds absolutely insane in the most distracting way possible.
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mindrell · 4 months ago
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Just finished my second playthrough of Tokimeki Memorial, (and yet again) did not get Himuro ending
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buttercup-barf · 9 months ago
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Under the cut are mostly self-insert doodles of decreasing quality. Again, not much directly tied to Team Fortress 2. Might as well toss these out while I have no access to my puter. Much yapping under the cut and in the tags incoming.
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Another self-insert, this time less of a "here's me as a tenth class" and more of a "here's my game experiences translated into the class I would take the place of". The Cleaner. Although I guess they could still be wearing either suit. It doesn't matter that much.
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That one Convict's Case taunt with Backup would be extremely funny, because the man would be on the verge of a breakdown (he does not want to go to jail so bad you have no idea). The second image- I owe no explanation. You know what I am. You see the pattern with my favourites.
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The duality of the man. Resting face versus "just heard you express interest in religion/Russian folklore" face. He's not that hard to make friends with, when you pull him away from all the explosions.
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Some doodles of trying to figure his face out. Unfortunately, the more I stare at him, the more I worry that he looks like A Certain Guy With The Last Name "Kazarin", and the fear of never being original in my life caught up to me.
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Don't look at me, don't perceive me, I refuse to explain any of my actions to you.
#team fortress 2#tf2#that's it that's the only tags i am putting this in. maybe someday i will have the balls to do more but for now that's about it#while i have the chance - and since posts with more of my yapping in the tags don't pop in people's feeds much - i might as well ramble-#-about these guys here. self-inserts or not i'm projecting only half of my bullshit on each one of them. creativity 👍#backup is tall and pale and has sharp canines and more of a dull brown hair colour with tired grey eyes. no amount of babyface or soft-#-hands can really help a motherfucker when he's grimacing so much because he just Hates being around half the people on the team.#cleaner meanwhile is on the shorter side and has constantly flushed skin and brighter colours and whatnot. you can't see it because of the-#-mask most of the time but they do smile a lot more and have a more cheery disposition towards life and see the whole team as their friends!#backup transitioned fully (albeit not very legally lmao) and is scared shitless of not being seen as a man although the last time that ever-#-came up was years ago. he holds onto his last name as part of the heritage he loves and loathes at the same time - attached to his culture-#-and religion and bloodline while also resentful of his family and the regime he knows someone else on the team suffered under.#cleaner just kinda binds and calls it a day. he only does it to confuse the team because while he doesn't identify with being a girl he-#-loves the confused looks his epic gender reveal moment gets. they do not remember their family name or where they grew up or what even got-#-them to this kind of mental state. and he's chill with it he values the here and now way more than some dark edgy backstory.#backup despite trying to be an honest man is afraid of vulnerability as well. he stubbornly refuses to express love towards certain people-#-lest they feel disgusted and turn away. he's afraid of consequences afraid of losing the people he loves afraid of his ''interests'' being-#-what drives them away. it doesn't by the way and he just wasted time being a cold indecisive loser for several months lmao#cleaner wears a suit that hides all of them yes but they pretty much never lie. he is always his truest self and he can always just burn-#-people who don't like him enough to make it a problem. they are a lot more comfortable indulging in their interests - be they innocent-#-and juvenile or violent and dangerous. he is quite open with his affection and his fascinations that backup would rather keep secret.#i want to establish that these two can only exist in separate universes because they both have feelings towards the funny assistant lady-#-and the funny inventor guy (selfshipping for the winnn) and would fight over those two. cleaner would win by the way#it's also a really funny point of comparison. cleaner is objectively more fucked up than backup and still managed to be more normal about-#-their feelings and live as a healthier and happier person than that guy. comedic gold honestly#OKAY I'M DONE if you read up to here you get uhhh a cookie :-)
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miraculouslumination · 7 months ago
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Boy oh boy am I so glad I use my online space how I want and have the wherewithal to not cave into guilt trippy posts about how you should always all day every day 24/7 subject yourself to the horror of the world wide news and also make your entire blog about it
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purgemarchlockdown · 1 year ago
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Hm...
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daily-lightbulbii · 8 months ago
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(//i don't normally do text but cw in the tags erm. i went a little off track)
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ahollowgrave · 10 months ago
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Hiiii do you have any more writings or musings about None? I was in your writing tag the other night and they came up a couple times but I'm not sure if I should be picturing a miqo'te or some sort of service animal/familiar lol
Hello! That's so fair, my Odette writings do not offer a lot of description for them! They do have their own tag [HERE] although not much is in it, currently. Some of the screenshots I'm including here and the writings which you've already seen! I'm very sorry for how rambling this is but None is where a lot of alts and relationships spawn from! None is neither a miqo'te nor a service animal (though I think they'd give a huff at the title)! None is the saddest creature in the whole world, a widower, Odette's favorite lil guy, Gerry's estranged step-parent, and a Lalafell:
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A Lalafell ranger who makes their living guiding people through the Shroud. These days they are 'mostly' retired. They're well past their middle age and when they were younger they made a deal with sylphs. To be fleet-footed and quick and the best hunter. It came with some side effects:
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They wear a hat to cover the ears. It's a bit silly to have two sets and, frankly, None doesn't wanna talk about it. They are stoic, pragmatic, and a bit of a hermit when they can afford it. None is a widower, their late wife was an duskwight woman named Aloutte, who was a widow herself with a young child; Geraldine. None and Gerry were never close and in the wake of Aloutte's passing that distant only grew. None and Odette met at the Menphina temple she was raised at. The Sisters there offer grief counseling and when Aloutte first fell sick she made them go to make the transition easier. A child at the time, Odette was obsessed from the moment they met. A pale shadow trailing after them. Where None failed with Gerry, they bonded with Odette. After Aloutte's passing None returned to the temple to live long term, some grievers need more support than others, they and Odette spent a lot of time together. They very much fill a uncle/aunt role for Odette; a trusted advisor who isn't the adults who raised her. When Odette took her vows and started to travel it was None who traveled with her, taught her basic outdoors skills, bought her Beauty and taught her how to care for chocobos. When Odette has to leave her flock of karakul to travel it is None she calls to care for them. Also, while Aloutte's loss and the grief that follows is very important to None as a character I feel it is important to note they were the saddest creature in the whole world before they knew the warmth of Aloutte's embrace! Sometimes you're just born with a heavy heart, you know? Because of how important they are to Odette. Odile... fucking hates their guts. Oooh, she hates their guts so much!!! The feeling is mutual and Odile and None have come to blows a few times. Something they both keep from Odette; None because they don't want to make her worry, Odile because she'll use the information to drive a wedge at some point. None also features in Odette's WoL AU, they're an honorary scion and spend most of their time with the other off-screen members. They spend time with Krile and Tatatru discussing lalafell things and I like to imagine that F'lhaminn and None have a lot to talk about. This is... pretty long so I will stop here! But I hope this satisfies some curiosity about None and thank you SO MUCH for asking about them!
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#Answered#None#whooo boy this doesn't even touch on how#Iron's alt Lia is a former lover of Aloutte's and how Lia and None remain close to this day#and that Gerry is Lia's ward and one of her students#and that Gerry and Prudence have a toxic yuri onagain/off again relationship#and that Gerry is real envious of Odette because of Odette's relationship with both Lia and None (very different relationships mind)#and that Prudence and None get along just fine which also causes problems with Gerry and Prudence (Why isn't prudence on HER side)#(There are no sides)#(just two people lost in grief)#(but also gerry was the child (adult with Aloutte died and nearly an adult when None and Aloutte met and married but still)#but none was never going to be a parent and was never going to marry#but aloutte was a force of nature and you don't resist nature for long !!!#anyway hello I had a period of time where I was having people lie to me all the time (like about having cancer) and so I made#a bunch of alts to have my own complicated family dynamics so I didn't have to keep rewriting things when I learned people were awful#and then Iron and I went “Hey. We should entangled our characters stories so much.” and it's been very fun ever since LMAO#anyway woof sorry to keep rambling in the tags#but man now I'm starting to ship None/F'lhaminn.........#Also None was sort of a Prudence Rough Draft#isn't that insane???#that's why they have such similar coloring LMAO#but now they're very different aside from being :| and good at their jobs#okay i'm done now#sorry you stumbled into asking about one of my favorite alts that I never play :weeps:
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itspileofgoodthings · 8 months ago
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and ANOTHER thing —sorry I’m almost done—the creation of that lust filled space also creates such an unempowered state for Kate to be in. there isn’t anything she can really do except sort of stand there doe-eyed and take it in. Also that’s so dark!
#sorry I keep using that word but!#contrast it with pride and prejudice#it’s funny and powerful that Darcy proposes like ‘I WISH I didn’t love you or find you beautiful for several logical reasons but I DO’#marry me pls’#(because it is fun to see a character overcome almost against their will)#but Lizzy’s response is so important and so in the best sense of the word admirable#because she ISN’t impressed!!!!!#and it isn’t the girlboss meanness that she is so often celebrated for!#which is the world’s version of empowerment for women#it’s just that she is like ‘this is not my problem!!!!!!! that you are so in love with me but disgusted by my family/circumstances’#so she’s kind of like ‘don’t bring this to ME.’#and that’s so iconic and compelling and forces Darcy to stop#because it’s so valid and so real person of her!!!!!!#because yeah! a man feeling uncomfortable about his feelings for a woman#is not that woman’s problem!!!! and even though some of us would be so affected by it#(tbh i would have been so flattered that he liked me and was struggling against it I might not have yelled at him)#it’s so iconic that she DOES!#the real person of it!!!!!! the negotiation of life!!!!!!!!!!#Darcy’s problem is he has been wrestling in his head and speaking to no one#and Lizzy forcibly reminds him that she is a person with feelings and it is actually not his place for him to be listing out at this moment#all the objections he has had to the idea of marrying her#not hers to know!!!!!!!#and he’s like ‘oh wow that’s so true’ and course corrects#all without being sort of this pandering sentimental softie so often presented on the OTHER side#he is mad at her! he’s bitter! but his bitterness soon takes a proper direction (as he says at the end)
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dandelion-bride · 9 days ago
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I want to reach out to my dad.
I have not forgiven my dad for pulling the lever on the trolley tracks and choosing his three younger kids with his wife over his eldest child from a college fling.
I am a priest who cannot forgive her own father.
Three is more than one.
But I was that one!
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chewablepebbles · 15 days ago
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Sometimes it feels soooo weird not being depressed anymore
#i was sad from some memories earlier this week and my urge was just to go take a sulk in my depression hole#because it was comfortable in there!#but its not there anymore. it got filled in. and part of me was sad because it felt safe in there#and the other part of me remembered how much time and effort it took to fill in#so it felt like i was just looking at the space where it used to be. like sure i could dig a little#make it comfortable. do whatever. maybe get some sleep in.#but it never stayed in one place so i would probably end up tripping because of it#i love digging literal holes. it actually helped me out of my depression because the more you dug the bigger the hole got so i could see#that i was making a physical difference#and then i could put plants and shit in there#i came up with literally a million different metaphors for what i was going through in therapy. it felt like if i worded it#just right this time then i would understand it. and if i understood it i could fix it.#it was like math put into a word problem#i think the one that was most complete for me was a polluted river that would clog and poison#that even if you cleared up one clog pieces would break up and stop up some new area#and in a way that felt kind of hopeless. in another way you now had so much further you were able to go until you got clogged#and each time you broke it up and took pieces out#the less there would be at the next one#and that really did help the logical side of me. helped me deal with the work i needed to keep doing.#but the emotional side always came back to the hole#because the thing about a really deep hole is that you only get light when the sun is perfectly over you#if at all#and noon is so very little of the day#but the shallower that hole gets#the more time you have in the light#and one day you get a full minute to see by#and another day you get a whole hour#and these are insane moments. for me realizing i was getting a whole hour of sun was one of the best days of my life#so yeah. sometimes i miss the dark and the cool dirt. but then i remember just how good being in that sun was for the first time#just being able to relax in it. not needing to take my quick breath for another 24 hours under. not having to rush to fill in the hole.
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