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There is currently only two (2) working mod for this blog at the moment and one (1) of them has is taking a hiatus, so unfortunately, this blog is going to have to take a short break for now, so sorry for the inconvenience everyone!

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ur pain is real

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What are some very important life advices that you know ?

'aight this is gonna be a long one -

As opposed to what motivational gurus might tell you, a lot of people are in fact happy working 9-to-5 jobs. Everyone doesn't want the same things from life. Many people prioritise having a good work-life balance over hustling, and you shouldn't feel like you have to achieve spectacular things to make your life matter.

I don't think "school doesn't matter" is the full story. School might not matter for you if you choose a career path where what you learnt in school or the grades you got don't play any role. But it will matter if the path you need to take to pursue your goals requires you to have good grades. Also, what you learn in school might lead you down some interesting paths. For example, being good with chemistry could allow to be better at running a makeup production business someday.

Keep Your Life Private. Now i don't mean don't have social media and just don't let people know anything. But keep your decisions, your thoughts, your next step. Stay under the radar because once you are on the radar, it can be very difficult to get off it. Keep it private until its permanent. We don't want bad juju. For example- if you are applying to universities and everyone is explaining which ones they have applied to and discussing and judging and commenting. Once you got into the Uni of your choice go ahead post that shit if you want to !

Don't gossip about your relationship with your girlfriends like you can talk about something with your best friend but don't tell everyone about your relationship, your fights, etc. Keep your relationship private but don't hide the fact that you are in one.

If they verbally abuse you, they will physically abuse you. if they physically abuse you, they will k-word you. it's not a matter of if, but when. Read that and read it again. it's true. they're not gonna change. you can't fix them or help them heal. don't believe a single promise they make because more often than not they will break it.

Don't send him nudes. I would give the same advice to anyone, no matter how long/ serious the relationship is and especially if they don't feel comfortable doing it. There is no way for you to predict how your relationship will develop. I'm not saying we should always think the worst about someone, but what if you break up and he will want to take revenge by posting the pictures on social media? Or even if you don't break up, but someone else (his mother, his best friend etc) finds those pictures? Or if his phone/ email is hacked? There is always a risk when photographing yourself unclothed and even bigger one when sending those pictures to someone else. He cannot ensure 100% safety. So unless you don't mind the idea of your body becoming public knowledge, don't do it.

Stay unplugged and disconnected from the society for at least 1 week every 6 months. How? Probably go camping without any technology or gadgets with you. Eat, sleep, make out, make love, read stories, read books (not kindle, actual books!), tell stories, make up stories, talk about the universe, talk about time-travel, talk about aliens, talk about sex, talk about interstellar, talk about anything, cuddle up, make out again, sleep, wake up again, watch the stars, make a wish on a falling star, do something impulsive, explore each other, or just explore your inner-self (if you're alone).

All those people you see around enjoying all their success, have worked really hard at some point in their life. Don't agree?! Just stop reading and think for a moment. Remember all the opportunities that you missed and all the bad performances of yours, how many of them you could have been better at, had you worked a little harder, a little more dedication and focus from your side was all it demanded.

Stop giving a damn about what people think of you. Seriously, just be who you are. Random strangers really don't give a crap about what you do, what you look like or what you say. You are not being watched every time you step outside.

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How do you fall back in love with life?

clean your room.  clean space, uncluttered space, space that doesn’t have miasma clinging to it can work wonders.  clean the dishes.  sweep.  take out the trash.  peel the clothes off the floor and wash them, and then actually fold/hang them.  take a long shower.  scrub behind your knees.  brush your teeth.  (this can be utterly exhausting, but try to get it done in a day, if you can.  the end result is worth it.)

pull out your notebook.  it doesn’t need to be a new notebook, but preferably one that you don’t usually write in, or that you haven’t touched in a while.  fuck moleskins.  the yellow legal pad will work fine.  sit in your room, or in the park, or in the library, and write a list.  count clouds.  describe all the colors that you see, and note patterns that arise.  sketch the cracks in the walls.  note the shape light makes when it enters a space.  talk about what the air tastes like, smells like.  what sounds are there?  even the white nose, break that down: air planes, fans, cicadas, anything.  remind yourself that you are sitting in the middle of a space brimming with detail.  remind yourself that you are not in nothingness and emptiness.  your world is fathomless.  it has potential.

drink cold water and try to eat something that isn’t processed.  it does not need to be fancy.  buy yourself an apple with the change between your couch cushions.  eat it outside.  if you’re someone who walks, walk somewhere afterwards, just to stretch your legs.  take your fucking meds.  remember that its a good thing that you are inside your body.  your body is a fantastic and endlessly intricate machine, and even though society has smacked a bunch of poisonous ideas on it, that doesn’t change its inherent worth and splendor.  take care of it.

read a novel.  underline your favorite lines, and write phrases that twist your heart inside your chest on the back of your hand with an ink pen.  read a novel like it’s poetry.  read poetry, something decadent but unpretentious.  watch a movie you haven’t seen before.  if there are free art galleries near you, walk through one.  take your time.  let yourself bask.  if there are patterns in what makes your soul ache, write those patterns down – marbles arches or soot crumbling bricks or dandelions or descriptions of dresses or whatever it is, write them down.

your chosen family is important.  remember, they picked you as much as you picked them.  the love has no obligation.  it is given freely and it is given from a place of compassion.  you are not a burden.  if you need to breathe, take a minute by yourself and just exist, but remember to go back to your people.  when they need you, listen and be gracious.  always be gracious.  the universe sometimes remembers things like that.

listen to new music.  link jump on youtube or related artist jump on spotify or ask the chap beside you in the cafe what their favorite band is, and listen to that.  listen to something that you don’t usually listen to.  we tend to tie up a lot of memory with music.  we are falling in love again.  the soundtrack needs to be specific to that.  

allow yourself to indulge in romantics.  press flowers in old books.  play movies with subtitles and mouth the words.  dance in your room.  wear something that makes you feel good, even if you wouldn’t wear it in public.  write your chosen family letters, even if you hand deliver them.  write poetry, even awful poetry.  revel in its awfulness.  eat dark chocolate and when your chosen family want to go out, try to go out with them sometimes, even if its just to the market.  

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don’t ever let anyone make you feel ashamed for not going down a conventional path (e.g. not finishing college or starting college later in life, doing an internship in your late 20s, not having a "career” by a certain age). do not create a life that aims to satisfy everyone but yourself. you worked hard as fuck to get to where you are. don’t you dare let others including yourself diminish those efforts. you do not deserve that. especially if you did it all while battling mental illness. 

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How to Outline And Revise Using the Stewart Outlining Method

For the first part of this post, I am going to introduce the Stewart Outlining Method exactly how it was taught to me by my 8th-grade teacher Charlie Stewart. After that, I will recommend some small changes you can make to possibly make the Stewart Outlining Method (S.O.M.) work better for you.

The Stewart Outlining Method Origins

The Stewart Outlining Method was taught to me in my 8th-grade history class. This method works really well for almost all history and social science classes, and ok for some science classes (particularly Biology). The S.O.M. forces you to synthesize information in an effort to write short, condensed outlines. The emphasis is on picking the most important information and being able to summarize it into one sentence (two is ok for beginners). 

When you read a chapter, put a capital I. and then the chapter’s title. After I, you put the big section headers in as capital letters (A. B. C.), etc. Next smaller headers in as (1, 2, 3). Depending on the book, and your grade level, you may then need to move onto lowercase letters and roman numerals. 

After each header. You are allowed a maximum of 1 sentence per paragraph. As you get better at synthesizing, you should try to aim for 1 sentence per section. This is your summary sentence of the most important point.  

The Hudgins Addendum

As you get older and begin having larger cumulative tests (AP, IB, A-Levels, etc.) you need to be able to fit you whole outline onto one piece of paper (front and back). Regardless of how long the chapter is, being able to condense it to one page or less is imperative for revision.

Ways Which I have Adapted the System

1. Throughout my years in school, I have played around with color coding vs. not color coding the headers. Color coding the headers makes them pop and makes your notes aesthetically pleasing, however, it takes much longer. In high school, I definitely recommend against color coding the headers and notes, as most high schoolers will lose too much valuable time. In University, you may find yourself with more time, and color coding may become more necessary.

2. I have also moved away from the typical outline numbering system and towards a system that is exclusively bullet points.

3. After I finish the outline, I like to go back and bold or color code the most important information. I also use stars.

4. I prefer to use this method when handwriting my notes, or using one note. I find it difficult to format the outline on Microsoft Word. The advantage of one note is that you can further pair down your outline by having it filter out the highlighted information, or by using the “tagging system.”

5. To make the most out of one note, I use tags pretty extensively. I will be doing a blog post next week which goes more in depth on how I use Microsoft Onenote to take my notes.

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Tips for when you dont dare to draw out of fear of bad and dissapointing art?

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a list of untradtional study tips

buy new/pretty stationery; i love buying new pens and notebooks so much that i’ll easily get through re-writing notes i had been putting off

create a few study playlists; since instrumental/classical music helps improve brain functioning, have a selection of ones you like, but also add in the odd soft lyrical song. take a break every time a song with lyrics comes on and work during the instrumentals. it should be in a 5:1 ratio (instrumental:lyrical) that way you will work for 20-30 minutes with a 5 min break 

make your study space smell good; light a candle, or a smell that you enjoy, try to use the same scent every time to trigger memory recollection. mint and vanilla are my favs!

write down how much time you spend studying for a test and then the grade you got; then you can figure out how time you really need to spend to get a good grade. this will help you use your time more effectively

read over your notes before you sleep; this allows for neuron to be killed and myelin pathways to be made! which means learning and understanding, yay!

get done up; you don’t always need to study in comfy clothes, putting on makeup and a nice outfit can put you into a ‘let’s get shit done’ mood

make you notes pretty; it’s more visually interesting to study and can me more fun to write and make, which helps you learn while you write them!

i really hope this can help some of you and that you enjoy these tips! don’t be afraid to ask me any questions!

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How to Truly Love Yourself

For those of us who have struggled with self love all our lives. 

Spells, crystals, and mantras are wonderful in helping you try to love yourself. But without looking at your shadow, each time you tell yourself “I love myself”, you are essentially lying to yourself. Now I’m a big fan of faking it until you make it, but I don’t think it’s as helpful as truly diving deep inside your own subconscious to find out why you don’t love yourself. This is the only way to heal, which will lead to truly loving yourself. 

I as many of us grew up without a great support system. I can count the number of times my parents or any family member has told me they loved me, without a threat at my throat in exchange. When love isn’t reflected to you, you have to find it within yourself in order to reflect it to others. Deep inside, I knew that I didn’t believe myself each time I said “I love myself”. If you tell yourself this, and don’t actually believe it, you’re directly opposing your own truth. This leads you nowhere. After years and years of self-help, spirituality, and growth, I finally realized that I was lying to myself all this time. 

I don’t love myself. I do things that hurt myself because I don’t love myself enough to do something different. Each time I say I love myself, I have lied to myself. My words have not been reflected in my actions. So where do we go from here? First of all, stop lying to yourself. Take an oath to be completely transparent and honest with yourself. Do you love yourself? 

Do you do things you know will hurt yourself, but do anyway? Do you call yourself crazy? Are you kind to yourself? Do you say no when you mean yes? Do you say yes when you mean no? Do you work at a place you hate? Do you beat yourself up for not achieving your goals? Do you drink alcohol or do any kind of drug or addiction that you know will harm yourself? Do you put yourself through situations you don’t want to be in just because you want to fit in? 

Chances are you probably do some of these things and not even realize how you’re self sabotaging your own self love. So here’s some steps to start loving yourself, genuinely, truly, with no hashtags and no faking it. 

Admit to yourself that you have not loved yourself. Realization is the first step. You can tell yourself you love yourself all you want, but if you don’t feel it, you’re only lying to yourself. 

Make it your promise to be honest with yourself. In every single moment and thought you have from now on, promise yourself you will be honest and truthful to yourself. Sometimes we don’t even realize we’re not being truthful to ourselves. But you can start becoming aware. 

Set your intention. Instead of saying “I love myself.”, be honest here and say “I want love myself.” Because you’re wanting to love yourself, you’ve acknowledged that you don’t love yourself. This intention will not last forever. You will soon come to actually love yourself, and from there you can then use the mantra of “I love myself.”, when it is actually true. 

Once you’ve acknowledged that you don’t love yourself and have now set the intention to move towards loving yourself, you will have healed this mindset of self denial. It is better to face the pain and be truthful, than to lie to your own self constantly and not face the pain. 

At every moment of the day, at every decision you are to make, ask yourself “Is this what a person who loves themselves would do?” Base all of your decisions and actions upon this one question and act accordingly. 

It is really hard sometimes to realize that maybe we haven’t actually understood what love is. Maybe we’ve never learned true self love. It’s painful, but facing this truth and moving towards the direction you do want is the first step to self love. It’s really helped me to really look at my shadows and be honest with myself. I hope this helps anybody struggling with self love as well. 

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High school was intense and having high expectations flung left and right was no help either. It was insanely hard not to feel like I was underperforming in such a competitive academic setting, so coping was super tough :( So after a lot of self-reflection, I wanted to put together a set of I suppose “rules” or “standards” that I went by during those four years. Somewhat a disclaimer though: some of the advice won’t be perfect in terms of being the ideal student, but like I’m just trying to be real~

1. At the bare minimum, take the time to do daily homework.

Oftentimes homework felt like mini projects of their own, from five-chapter outlines to two-page long responses due the next day. So really, when it comes to balancing extracurriculars and sleep, getting a super early start on projects just isn’t feasible. So when times are tough and it’s hard to even find the motivation to push through the first-line tasks, please dedicate the most of your effort to homework. Not only will it save you the quick, easy points, but it also helps with retaining info learned in class. This is especially important to me, because frankly I space out too much during lectures!

2. Acknowledge the best time for you to study.

Be honest with yourself!! If you know your brain shuts down at like 11pm (like mine does lol), then please don’t pull an all-nighter/stay up til 3:30am. It just won’t work. Rather, consider waking up super early to finish the last bit of work. I would go to bed at around 11:30pm-12am when I knew it was going to be an intense workload, and then I’d wake up at 5am. The amount of sleep I got was still pretty bad, but oftentimes that was just the reality of high school. Alternatively, if you know you work best super late at night, then please try to sleep sometime in the late afternoon/early evening before you get to work. 

3. Take your time getting used to new classes, even if they’re not advanced.

I felt super insecure during my freshmen year because I felt like the only person in my friend group that wasn’t taking at least one AP or honors class (I felt even worse because I didn’t place into anything rip). But hey, literally no one’s expecting you to front load on hard classes when you’re just starting out! I ended up doing really well my first year, because this gave me the chance to work out my study routine without feeling overwhelmed. 

4. Ignore peers who constantly remind you that you’re “not doing enough.”

People who perpetuate this culture annoy me so much!! Like first of all, everyone works at their own rate, so you can’t just impose your standards onto someone else without fully acknowledging what they have going on in their lives. Okay mini rant aside, everyone’s going to talk about all the clubs they’re involved with and it will freak you out at some point. But let’s be real. If you know you need to spend more time doing readings for one AP and two honors classes, spending time at school until 6pm for three days a week will kill you on the inside! And while college stress is real, know that colleges will prioritize your grades before extracurriculars. Sure, they’ll be lenient with all the hard stuff you’re doing, but they’ll also question your decision-making skills if they see you’re still front loading on activities and hard classes if your grades are continuously slipping.

5. Utilize any free time you have, either between classes or on your way to school.

The commute to school and free periods are all important times to be productive!! If you’re on a bus/train ride to school, take this opportunity to watch the last few Crash Course videos for your upcoming exam. During free periods, rush to an available computer at the school library and start checking off the shorter assignments there. I personally like utilizing this free time doing the low-level assignments, simply because free periods are supposed to be a short break from school and I’m not trying to work like a studyholic throughout the entire school day. That, and I want to reserve the burst of energy I have when I get home on the tougher assignments. 

6. Only work in study groups once you’ve mastered the material yourself.

This is mainly so study groups don’t become just another hang out, especially on the day before an exam, when stress-induced cramming is likely to take place. You’ll build a lot of self-confidence working in a group when you actually know how to answer the guided questions. Plus, when you’ve mastered the material, it’ll be easier to explain a concept to a member in your study group. That’s when you know you’re ready!

7. Balance mandatory classes you dislike with optional classes you love.

A lot of classes will ultimately be required, but that’s just so you get a nice, holistic education. My high school was very STEM based, so I had a couple of required classes from this field that my friends from other schools didn’t have to take. And while I do enjoy studying some subjects in this area, I just couldn’t wrap my head around some classes (physics was at the top of this list), so my brain kind of tried alienating it altogether. To get through this mental block, if you will, it definitely helps to balance your course load with classes you can actually choose to fulfill a requirement. For instance, I took a digital music class for my music req as opposed to music theory, and it really helped take my mind off the stress and unfortunate (yet very blatant) distaste of other classes.

8. If you’re in a boring lecture, consider writing throughout class.

Okay so this may or may not work for everyone, but it really helped me as someone who just sucks at paying attention in general. My history AP classes, for instance, were basically just long, monotoned lectures (and like honestly I don’t know how much this could’ve been helped). So when my brain felt like hitting the snooze button, I’d whip out a bunch of looseleaf and write literally everything that came out of my teacher’s mouth. On lazier days, I’d abbreviate a lot and make things more condensed, but otherwise everything was written out. While this isn’t the best way to take notes in general, it helped with rewriting my legit notes (in terms of consolidating info properly), while also providing a lot of helpful context for future essays.

9. Messy notes first, then pretty notes.

When I say pretty notes, I mean the fancy cursive, headers, doodles and whatnot. I absolutely love doing that… but only when I have time. If my teacher is talking at an abnormally quick pace to squeeze in every bit of info, then I’m gonna keep writing without the nice color-coding. As alternatives, you can always underline or write in super big letters to highlight important info (though I’d def recommend getting those single multi-colored pens for drawing quick diagrams). Also as a side note, you’re under no obligation to take pretty notes. Like sure people can say that rewriting notes helps with memorization, but that applies more for when you’re coming up with better ways of regrouping info, not so much when you’re focusing too much on aesthetics. 

10. Keep weekends as free as possible.

Free time to yourself is insanely important!! In competitive settings, it’s easy to feel guilty for not spending the bulk of the day doing something “productive.” But you also gotta remind yourself that you need to charge up for the next week to make all that possible! I prefer engaging in schoolwork and extracurriculars during weekdays, since I’m more in sync with alternating tasks. On weekends, I relax during the entirety of the day so I don’t feel as though my relaxation isn’t fleeting (if that makes sense). 

11. Find healthy outlets for times of intense stress. Self care is so real, and just saying it doesn’t have to be face masks (cause dude they can get pretty expensive)! Napping, texting your best friend, gaming with your friend group, and honestly a good cry are all ways of expelling the culmination of stress and feelings of inadequacy. But please make sure the outlets aren’t self-destructive– seeking out professional help is very much okay and honestly a lot more common than people tend to think it is!

I know y’all can do it!! Just remember– it’s YOUR life so you’re gonna go at YOUR pace! 

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a gentle reminder that you don’t have to have it all figured out now. if everything seems overwhelming right now, try focusing on getting through the next hour, and if that’s too hard, the next minute. you got this <3

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me but with my spirit guides 🥴😂

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a brief guide to recognizing emotionally abusive behavior.

just because someone exhibits these negative and controlling tendencies does not mean they are a “bad” person or should be automatically written off (though if even after they’ve been confronted about their unhealthy and damaging behaviors they do nothing to rectify the situation and sincerely apologize, it would be advised to take steps to free yourself from the relationship). we all exhibit these traits at some point in our life, and sometimes we may need help recognizing the behaviors and working on reducing them.

the definition of (deliberate or accidental) emotional abuse:

an attempt to control another through non-physical manipulation.

any (generally repeated) act that diminishes another’s sense of self-worth and independence.

common characteristics of emotional abuse:

person A not allowing person B to say no to them without facing emotional/social consequences or threats of abandonment.

person A belittling (publicly or privately) person B’s habits and beliefs that don’t align with person A’s (often continuing, incrementally becoming harsher, until person B begins to act according to person A’s personal ideas of what is ‘right’ out of fear and shame).

person A being unable or unwilling to trust person B and insisting they give person A access to personal information, surrender explanations for personal decisions and experiences, and exert themself to convince person A of their feelings, beliefs, or experiences until person A is satisfied.

person A claiming person B owes them because person A was nice to them and/or treated them with basic respect.

person A blaming person B for their own negative emotions, and often demanding person B soothe them (i.e. being unable to accept personal responsibility for their own emotions).

person A claiming person B causes all of the interpersonal conflicts between them, demanding person B apologize to them for all conflicts, and telling person B that if they just listened to/obeyed person A the conflict wouldn’t have happened (i.e. victim blaming).

person A (publicly or privately) ignoring/belittling person B’s attempts to address person A’s negative behavior towards themself or others.

person A allowing themself emotional and physical freedoms that they don’t allow person B without criticizing or emotionally/socially punishing them (i.e. holding person B to a different standard than they hold themself to).

person A won’t allow person B to make new friends or spend time with others without emotionally punishing person B, claiming they’re doing something wrong by having other relationships, and/or threatening to abandon them because of it.

person A (publicly or privately) ignoring or mocking person B when they express their opinions and emotions.

person A claiming their opinions and emotions take precedence over person B’s.

person A redirecting conversations about person B’s negative experiences (with person A or outside/personal influences) by bringing up their own so as to invalidate and erase person B’s experiences and feelings.

person A (publicly or privately) bringing up past traumas or mistakes person B has experienced (that they’ve since moved on from and/or made amends for) any time person B tries to express personal growth or assert intellectual/emotional independence (i.e. shaming person B to lower their confidence).

person A withholding affection and/or emotional support until person B obeys them.

person A criticizing and/or belittling person B behind their back, usually with people person B is close to and/or related to (i.e. removing person B’s only outside support system so they have no one but person A).

person A responding to accusations of emotionally abusive behavior by temporarily altering their conduct to be agreeable, friendly, and compassionate to others, in an effort to invalidate the claim, often making person B appear to be “over-reacting” and seem to be attempting to socially ostracize person A unfairly (i.e. others outside of the abusive dynamic only see person A as an agreeable, friendly, and compassionate figure, so they automatically side with person A and turn the claims of emotionally abusive behavior on person B for speaking out).

characteristics commonly described as emotional abuse but are not:

person A exhibiting negative emotions (being hurt, angry, etc), whether in relation to person B’s actions or outside/personal influences.

person A asking for or demanding space from person B when they need it.

person A saying no to person B, even if person B can’t understand why and/or is hurt by person A’s choice.

person A disagreeing with person B, and being willing to argue their beliefs strongly.

person A continuing to make a non-offensive personal choice person B doesn’t agree with (e.g. interacting with non-abusive friends person B doesn’t like, or continuing to critically enjoy media person B has deemed ‘wrong’ or ‘unacceptable’, etc).

person A constructively criticizing person B for their beliefs or actions.

person A asking for emotional support from person B and not punishing them if they can’t fulfill person A’s needs.

person A having strong feelings in general and/or about person B, but not pressuring person B into things they don’t want to do, and instead respecting their individuality.

person A making mistakes in their relationship with person B that are upsetting for person B, but person A accepts responsibility for their actions and expresses remorse afterwards as well as takes steps to avoid repeating those mistakes.

ways you can defend yourself and others from people with emotionally abusive tendencies:

don’t ignore claims of or evidence of emotional abuse just because the person is kind to you or a select few, or you admire their work or appearance.

if someone is exhibiting any of these traits, call them on it (in a respectful but firm manner), and if they refuse to take responsibility, or blame you for their actions, end the relationship if you can or if you’re unable to cut off contact with this person entirely, limit your interactions and keep records of their manipulative actions in case you need to prove their abusive behavior in the future (to avoid gaslighting and being accused of being the abusive one yourself).

always remember that you can call people exhibiting these behaviors on it even if you’re not the victim of their abusive tendencies. your willingness to stand up and demand respectful treatment of others even if you aren’t personally in danger can be incredibly helpful for not only one specific victim but future victims as well.

you deserve to feel safe and comfortable respectfully expressing yourself, and to not have those trying to take that from you be accepted and supported despite their controlling actions because it’s not always comfortable or convenient to support victims of harmful behaviors (and to demand better behavior from those around you or very close to you). it’s important we don’t let emotional abusers get away with their behavior, and don’t allow emotionally abusive behavior to become the socially accepted norm.

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Follow @productive-tips for more tips and content like this posted daily! Handpicked and curated with love :)

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Self-care Cheat Sheet - a guide for people who can’t do exactly what they’re supposed to

Exercise:

If you can, go to the gym or go for a run or a bike ride. I know you don’t feel like it, but you’ll feel better afterwards both physically and mentally.

If you can’t go to the gym, exercise in your room. Maybe follow a simple Youtube video or do some exercises you know well with whatever tools you have - and if that’s all too hard, simply move a bit to some of your favorite songs for a while.

If you can’t go for a run, go for a walk. Take your headphones on and listen to music or a podcast while walking to make it less boring, or maybe bring one of your friends! It doesn’t have to be a long walk. Even if you’re only outside for 10 minutes the fresh air and movement will do you good and clear your mind.

If you can’t go for a walk or exercise otherwise, stand up and do some stretches and walk around your room for a little while. Your body will appreciate a break from sitting at your desk or lying in your bed even if it’s a short one.

If you can’t move that much, just open your window and enjoy some fresh air.

Personal hygiene:

If you can take a shower (even though it’s hard!), do it. You will feel so much better when your hair is not greasy and when you aren’t smelly and sweaty. If you can force the energy, it will be worth the effort.

If you can’t do a full shower routine, simply step into the shower and wash your crotch, ass and armpits. Forget about your hair and forget about shaving. Just quickly wash the most smelly parts. You’ll feel a lot better afterwards.

If you can’t take a shower, wipe your crotch, ass and armpits with wet wipes and then apply deodorant and dry shampoo. It’ll take the worst of the smell and will make you look and feel significantly cleaner.

If you can’t clean yourself at all, at least change out of your dirty clothes and put something comfortable and clean on. It’ll help you feel better.

Dental hygiene:

If you can, brush your teeth for 2 minutes twice a day. I know it’s hard to find the energy and the motivation, but you need to do everything in your power to take care of your teeth. They won’t care whether you have a good reason not to brush them and dental care is often expensive.

Doing it once a day is not a failure and is still a whole lot better than not brushing them! But if you struggle to brush as often as recommended, I recommend investing in an electric toothbrush to make each brushing more effective.

If you can’t brush your teeth for two minutes, brush them for 1 minute or 30 seconds. A short brushing is also still a lot better than nothing!

If you don’t like tooth paste, brushing your teeth without it is still better than not brushing them.

If you don’t like the texture of the tooth brush, look into tooth brushes for kids or surgical tooth brushes which are a lot softer.

If you can’t brush your teeth at all, use a wet wash cloth whenever you can to gently wipe the worst plague build up off your teeth.

If you can’t do that, invest in some mouth wash and gurgle it once a day or buy some of the gum which helps cleaning your teeth and keeping your breath fresh.

If you currently don’t have the energy to do anything for your teeth, at least try to limit your soda and sugar intake so that your lack of brushing won’t be too dangerous.

Eating:

If you can, cook a proper meal. Your body will appreciate you for providing it with the energy it needs to function optimally. If cooking is boring, put on a podcast, a show or some music - or maybe call or invite a friend.

If you can’t cook and you can afford it, order some takeaway. It may feel like a waste of money, but feeding yourself is never a waste and you will feel better once your body gets some nutrients. It doesn’t even have to be the healthiest option. Any food is better than no food.

If you can’t cook or order takeaway, make something very simple. A boring sandwich or instant noodles or a toast will provide you with some energy even if it isn’t that fun or enjoyable to eat.

If you can’t make a sandwich, just eat some bread or some deli meats or maybe some fruit or vegetables separately. You don’t have to actually make the sandwich in order for the meal to count.

If you can’t make a sandwich, eat whatever you have. An apple is better than nothing. A couple slices of cheese are better than nothing. An old chocolate bar is still a lot better than nothing. A dry slice of bread isn’t fun to eat but it is STILL better than nothing. So is a bag of chips.

If you can’t make yourself eat just anything, eat whatever you have (or are able of acquiring and capable of eating). Yes, even if it’s chocolate or ice cream or chips. It’s good to eat healthy when you can, but when it’s a question between not eating at all or eating something unhealthy, unhealthy food always beats an empty stomach. Yes, even if it’s the same things you ate yesterday and the day before.

If you consistently struggle to get enough food down, look into meal replacement shakes/bars and dietary supplements of various kinds. Maybe get some blood work done by your doctor to see what vitamins your diet might be lacking.

(If you have a friend, a partner or a family member who you know likes cooking or who you know has a lot of money don’t be afraid to ask them for help. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind bringing you some leftovers, cooking for you or borrowing you some money for something you’d actually be able to eat if you’re out of other options.)

Sleeping:

If you’re tired and you can, go to bed. Especially if it’s late. Especially if you’re feeling particularly unwell. You cannot function optimally if you do not get a decent amount of sleep, so instead of staying up all night feeling shitty about yourself, put your phone down and get some rest.

If you can’t go to bed, have a nap. Set a timer for when you need to get back on track and allow yourself some rest. You do not have to power through the whole day just because you technically could. It’s okay to take 20 minutes or two hours to catch up on sleep if you’re feeling exhausted, especially if you didn’t get enough sleep last night.

If you can’t sleep at all, just lie down and close your eyes and rest for as long as you can. Studies have shown that even if you don’t sleep, lying down and letting your body and brain rest for a while helps you a lot. If it’s too boring, put on a podcast or music or something. But lie down. Close your eyes. Allow yourself to do nothing.

If you can’t sleep at all for several days, see a doctor and look into options for medical treatment. Sleep is important and if you consistently can’t get any, you need to act on it and try out various treatment options.

Socializing and connecting:

If you can, invite a friend, a partner, a family member, an acquaintance or anyone you like over. Have a nice talk with them or simply do something together. You may feel like isolating yourself is easier, but us humans are social beings and most of us need regular social interaction to thrive. (Maybe ask for a hug if you want one, physical contact can help a lot on your mood!)

If you live with someone, spend some time with them. Even if they’re not your favorite person and you’re not that close, having a conversation about something superficial is still a lot better than having no conversations. Who knows - maybe they can actually be pretty good company if you take the time to talk to them for more than two minutes! If talking is too hard, maybe ask them to play a game or watch a movie with you - or simply spend some time in the same room as them while doing your separate things. (Obviously you can disregard this tip if you live with toxic or abusive people!)

If you live alone and can’t get anyone to come over right now, give someone a call. Video chat if phone calls make you too anxious.

If that is too much, send someone you care about a text/message. Ask them what they’re doing. Tell them that you miss them. While talking to someone online or through texts isn’t exactly the same as actually talking to them, it will still help remind you that you aren’t alone and that there’s people who care about you.

If you don’t know who to text and don’t have a lot of friends, look into what opportunities you have for meeting new people. Maybe there’s a discord server for people who you have something important in common with. Maybe there’s a support group for people with the same mental or physical health issues as you nearby. Maybe you can find some lessons or meet ups for people who share your interests. Look into it.

If you need to talk to someone, anyone, don’t be afraid to reach out. Call that help line. Text that person you miss. Send an ask or a DM to that tumblr blogger you like. I promise you that even if you aren’t close to a lot of people right now, someone will be willing to listen and care. You just have to reach out.

(If you have a pet, cuddle it and play with it! Physical affection is physical affection regardless of whether it’s coming from a human or a dog. Friendship is still friendship if the two beings sharing it aren’t from the same species!)

[rant-2-me]

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[rant-2-me]

a quick self care guide

I need…

… rest/relaxation:

take a nap

listen to calming music

sit in the sun

apply a face mask

wrap up in a blanket

look through old photos of happy memories

soft/comfortable clothing

… expression:

draw/paint

write a story/poem/stream of thought/diary

bullet journal

draw a mandala

sing to my favourite songs

dance to my favourite songs

try new hairstyles

put on some fancy makeup

… health:

drink a glass of water

take a walk

do 15 Minutes of yoga 

make a healthy snack (fruit)

go to bed early

… companionship:

text/call a friend

call mum

go to my favourite cafe & grab a coffee

browse through the book store 

disclaimer #1: those are not inherently my ideas. when I created this list for my bullet journal I scrolled through tumblr and wrote down everything that might work for me too. the idea to organize them that way is not mine either.

disclaimer #2: what works for me might not work for you. this is just the typed out version of my list in my bujo. if something on it is not applicable to you, maybe you can come up with something similiar in effect that is?

disclaimer #3: browsing the book store for me means also talking to my coworkers, bc I work at said book store. that’s why it’s under companionship. same goes for the cafe, bc I used to work there.