#they r so dear to me you dont understand

[thanapeiro]

psych fandom . are yuo alive on here. pleasw i have to show you my sillies please im in love with them and its my mother’s fault

[tiny-wren]

):

[chimaerra]

something excruciating about having so many things that are so mine and only mine and my best friend keeps well meaningly taking them

[stevie-petey]

hello m, i hope u r well. it is my bday today so i wanted to request a blurb if that's cool :). maybe something fluffy about bug and steve celebrating his bday or if ur feeling it, another peek of frat!steve (cool if u want to keep that under wraps for now though). bye, have a nice day!

AH HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAR !!!!! i can DEFINITELY provide more frat!steve, especially because i finally have a clear vision for him that i am absolutely dying to how yall once im done with come home <33

i introduce to yall vixen ;)

enjoy !

"what the hell are you doing here?"

steve looks up, surprised to hear your voice despite being the one in your room. his eyes are wide, his posture straightens, and you can practically hear his scared gulp when he realizes youre back far sooner than he thought youd be.

youve caught steve harrington sitting on your bed, next to your little brother who has only ever been shy around strangers. and yet, as you stand before them, your brother eyes steve with wonder with the remnants of laughter on his face at something hes said.

hearing your voice as well, dustin turns and his smile only brightens when he sees you. "oh, hey, y/n."

"what are you doing?" you storm into your room, throwing your backpack at steve. he lets out a grunt when the object collides roughly into his stomach, and dustin makes a surprised noise. "why are you with my brother?"

"woah, hey-" steve ducks as you go to hit him with the shoe youve kicked off with impressive speed. he jumps from your bed and runs to the other side of the room. "ow, you goddamn vixen!"

"dont call me that in front of my brother," youre seething. how fucking dare he. after everything hes done to you. the rules youve each agreed to. the lines neither one of you have dared to cross. and now here steve is, in the same room as your brother, far too close to the fire youve tried so desperately to keep at a low burn.

"im right here, you know." dustin finally says from the bed. he doesnt have any idea whats going on or why youre throwing shoes at his new friend. dustins train had gotten in earlier than expected and he called you to come get him, but you never answered his thirty calls.

you cast a quick glance towards your brother, feeling the sting in your eyes as tears threaten to come. you try to swallow them down as you press your cool palm against your overheated and flustered skin. "please, not now, dustin."

"vixen-i, uh. i mean henderson, no. shit-" steve stumbles over his words as he rubs his bruised arm. your aim is far too good. its frightening, actually. "y/n, look-"

he hasnt called you by your name ever since youve known him. ever since the agreement had been made. youve only ever been henderson to him, vixen, bitch, tease.

never your name.

"get. out." you dont want to see him. this is all too fucking much for you. dustin wasnt supposed to know about steve. they were never supposed to meet. steve is the type of person you guys make fun of. tease and make jokes about. dustin has always hated guys like steve, the overly charismatic and repugnant type who join frats and sleep with every warm body they meet.

the type who kiss girls and make them feel as if they mean anything to them.

the type tommy had been.

dustin hated tommy. he hated him the entire five years you were together.

and now here dustin is, laughing with steve only moments before you walked into the room. you dont understand how the hell you got here.

lost in your head, you dont notice that steve has stepped so close to you until his hand falls softly on your arm. the touch causes you to flinch away, it burns you. knowing hes gone too far, steve backs away from you and puts his hands in the air. "hey, its okay. im sorry, alright? i-i know things arent, uh..."

steve looks at dustin, who stares at the two of you with a knowing look on his face. hes already figured out more than you ever wanted him to. dustin has always been too fucking smart for his own good. steve seems to recognize this, too, and clears his throat. "look. i know youre angry with me. i dont blame you, alright? but the kid called nancy earlier, apparently you hadnt picked up, and he needed a ride here and she had her exam and i-i just... she called me. it was getting dark outside and nancy was frantic. thats it. thats why im here."

you refuse to look at steve. while youre still infuriated and hurt by what he did earlier, you cant help but admit that he did a good thing. he stepped up, even though he knew youd throw a shoe at him in the end. like the fucking prince charming that he is. always good, always kind to everyone around him. sickeningly sweet, yet you know what really lies beneath his charming persona.

instead of voicing any of this out loud, you sit next to dustin and gently run your fingers through his hair. hes getting too old for this, you know that, but still your fingers tangle in his curls anyways. "i thought your train arrived at seven tonight?"

"so did i. ended up stranded in the middle of nowhere for an hour." dustin responds, knowing you still need a few moments to collect yourself. he may not know who steve is to you, but he isnt blind. the guy has royally pissed you off, but still he had been kind to dustin. so clearly he wasnt too bad. "thanks for that, by the way."

"im sorry," you sigh out, remorseful. "i... i got caught up in something."

"something, or someone?"

you glare at steve. "i wasnt talking to you.

"no, but im sure you were talking to prescott."

dustins eyes widen. "youre talking to that dickhead tommy again?"

"oh, henderson, we have so much to talk about!" steve high fives your brother with glee. "tell me, when did you first realize your hatred for thomas prescott?"

"the moment i learned his last name was prescott."

"its a god awful last name, isnt it? makes the asshole even more pretentious, which shouldnt even be possible."

dustin and steve gravitate towards each other eagerly, ready to share insults about the boy you once loved so dearly, and youre sick of it all. your stomach twists, your skin crawls. its too much for you. after what youve learned tonight about tommy, hearing his name over and over again threatens to make you sick. on the verge of a nervous breakdown, you slam your shoulder against steves and run into the bathroom.

the door locks behind you.

dustin and steve are left in silence.

[jinkicake]

Are You Scared?

Test of Courage with Itto, Diluc, Kaeya, Ayato, Tighnari, Xiao

A/N: i wrote this in one sitting after playing the new event, it’s kinda fun! i just want to do stupid shit and flirt w kaeya..... sigh,,, i want to write more but the more i write the more i realize why i dont lol

WC - 2k

~~~

A. Itto

“This is going to be too easy!” Itto loudly laughs as he places his hands on his hips. His chest heaves with each breath, pressing high into the air with a slight arch in his spine. 

“Yeah, so easy,” You murmur beside him while your eyes cast to his chest. For a moment, you’re glad no one else from the gang joined the two of you in trying the test of courage. 

If you get alone time with your boyfriend, you’ll always be glad. 

However, you do wish the atmosphere was more fitting for a date. 

Lamely, you trail behind Itto as he confidently walks through the Chinju Forest. As much as you hate to admit it, the test is boring and you can see why no one else wanted to join the leader in coming here. 

“Come on, (Y/N)! Let’s go, let’s go!” Then again, when Itto holds his hand out to you and his eyes light up with excitement, you find that the boring task becomes fun. “I mean, seriously, when is this going to get scary?” Despite Itto’s confidence, you can feel his hand trembling. 

You watch his worried eyes glance from one part of the forest to another before repeating the action all over again. The forest is nearly empty of all life and is illuminated in the same way that it always is so you don’t really understand what there is to be wary of. 

“Moo-” Behind you, Ushi appears almost out of thin air. He bobs his head up and down while trying to get your attention. 

“Oh, Ushi did you get separated from us?”

“No! It’s a ghost, (Y/N), get it together!” Itto quickly places his hands on your hips and throws you over his shoulder. He holds you tightly against him while slowly backing away from the familiar cow. “Stay back, ghost Ushi!” 

The cow lets out a confused moo as the oni sprints away with you flung over his shoulder. 

In a situation like this one, Itto is not going to fuck around and find out.

Diluc R. 

Before the test of courage even begins, Diluc wants to quit.

He can’t stand to see your fingers shake and your shoulders tense. You look absolutely frightened and the man hates it. 

“We can always return home whenever you feel like it, dear,” Diluc attempts to steady you as you wobble through the forest, and with a firm hand on your lower back, he manages to keep you from wandering off the path. “if you are feeling afraid.”

“I’m not scared?” You stubbornly shake your head and from the press of your lips, Diluc can tell that you are lying. “Why would I be afraid?”

Diluc isn’t really too sure himself either. 

“Remember that I am right here with you,” Diluc’s calming words and gentle touch do wonders to calm your racing heart. In the darkness of the woods, he lifts his hand and creates flames licking off the tips of his fingers. With this, the darkness isn’t as scary and you’re entirely too grateful for the light. 

A chilly breeze flows through the air and dims the flames in seconds. Diluc scoffs. 

He already knows who is behind the trick, he can hear his brother and the bard giggling from a bush beside the two of you. 

“Please, let’s return home,” Diluc quietly begs as he squeezes your hand, he can’t take another minute doing this pathetic test and seeing you scared. 

He doesn’t understand why your eyes start to light up at his pleading. 

“Oh my archons, are you scared, Diluc?” You gasp and cover your smile with your hand, who knew he had a weak spot?

Diluc wants to roll his eyes, he wants to ask ‘really, is that what you think’ but he bites down on his tongue. 

If this will get you out of here quickly then he’ll confess to anything. 

“You know me so well, my beloved.”

At some point, a few weeks later, Diluc deeply regrets forfeiting and leaving early. He’d take it all back to silence the bard and cavalry captain’s ongoing laughter. 

Kaeya A.

“If you get scared you can just hold me tighter,” Kaeya’s lips brush against your ear as he teases you, his sultry voice causes you to shiver. How he managed to convince you to do a test of courage is something you’ll never understand. “my little scaredy cat.”

“I’m not going to get scared.” You bite back but your hands are already firmly wrapped around his bicep. Kaeya teasingly flexes the muscle underneath your touch and sends a wink your way as he guides you through the Whispering Woods. 

The forest is so much creepier at night. A fog has rolled throughout the woods, coating the floor and area surrounding you in a murky substance.

The terrible weather ultimately impairs your vision and you can only see a couple of meters in front of you. Not being able to see freaks you out much more than you care to admit. 

Subconsciously, you hold onto Kaeya even tighter. 

“Who is on the scaring team again?” Your heart beats rapidly in your chest, thumping against your ribs with each step that you take. It’s as if you’re on high alert and you’re trying to catch any sound that passes by you. 

“I believe Klee and-” 

Suddenly, a twig snaps beside you. 

“Did you hear that?” You shush Kaeya with a pathetic swat of your hand before slowly turning to look at the shadow looming behind you. The tall figure towers over you and wields a claymore high above their head. At the sight of the large weapon slowly falling towards you, you fear you may have passed in shock. 

Kaeya’s not sure he’s ever heard you scream so loudly before in his life, and by some miracle, you muster the strength to pull him behind you as you run away. 

“and Diluc,” Is what Kaeya had wanted to add when you asked him who was on the scaring team. Perhaps if you had known that, this wouldn’t have been as terrifying. Then again, knowing you, perhaps not. 

K. Ayato 

“Shall we try being on the scaring team, my dear?” Ayato asks as he hands you a frightening mask, one that is bright red with eyes all over its canvas. You nearly drop the item in shock but, turn it over and place it face down on your lap. Your husband smiles as he looks for another mask, a blue one to match your own. “I think it will be fun, don’t you?” 

His hand reaches to gently cup your cheek, holding your face in his palm. The warmth of his touch spreads across your face and throughout your entire body as you reach up to hold his wrist. 

“I do think it will be worth our while.” 

Ayato looks pleased with your answer before he places a soft kiss under your ear. One of the reasons that the two of you get along so well is because of your shared interest in games. 

“We’ll make the perfect team.”

With Ayato’s hydro talent and your gift of cyro, he creates an uncomfortable sound of water dully hitting a rock as you form a chilly breeze. If any of the participants dare to look your way, they’ll see the masks sitting neatly on your faces and then run away in terror. 

That includes the deeply adored housekeeper. 

“Lady Ayaka, we must go!” 

You had to hush your husband, who laughed louder than he was supposed to, as you both watched Thoma drag Ayaka and the traveler out of the forest. In fact, you’ve never seen the housekeeper with such a sense of urgency except when it came to Ayaka. 

It seems that Ayato has never found anything funnier. 

“Hush,” You scold as he braces himself with his hands on his thighs, your husband’s shoulders shake as he attempts to catch his breath. “we are really good at this, hmm?” 

Ayato tries to calm himself down as he moves his arms to wrap around your waist.

“Yes, we are, aren’t we?”

Tighnari 

“Ghosts aren’t real. Don’t be afraid,” Tighnari’s hard truth causes the glare that you send him to harden. 

“I know that.” You grit your teeth in irritation, fear only fuels your anger. The desert can be rather spooky at night, especially where the two of you have been patrolling. 

If you have to see another dead hilichurl or any more blood scattered across the sand, you might just turn around and go home. 

“Imagine that this is the children’s game from Inazuma,” In his own way, this is Tighnari’s attempt at comforting you. He doesn’t express it much in a traditional way but, he does care about you. “I believe it is called the test of courage.”

You quietly continue to rummage through the sand, searching for the lost plant bulb that was spotted near the area. With puffed-out cheeks, you wonder why the two of you got sent out so far for a commission that has little to do with either of your professions. 

Your fingers knock against something small and sort of hard, you reach for it blindly. With little hesitation you grab the object and pull it out from the sand and hold it up into the air, allowing it to be illuminated by the moonlight. 

Tighnari jolts are your pitiful scream. 

“(Y/N)?” He lunges for you, pressing you down to the sand and covering your body with his own. 

“I’m done! I’m going home!” You screech as you try to push him off of you, you’ve never been so fed up with a task before. 

Tighnari subtly eyes the hilichurl mask you managed to pull out of the sand. 

“Don’t be scared,” He attempts to soothe your fear, to provide you with some sort of comfort but, it is too hard to do as his lips being to quiver. “i-it’s okay.” Tighnari can’t stifle his laughs no matter how hard he tries. 

Instead, he focuses on patting your head to try and get the frown off of your face. 

Xiao

“It’s called a test of courage,” You explain to Xiao as the two of you walk through the abandoned village of Wuwang Hill. Xiao doesn’t look impressed in the least as he crosses his arms over his chest and scans the nearby area. “basically we prove how brave we are by not getting scared!”

“Hmm,” By the sound of it too, Xiao isn’t affected or bothered by this game in the least. He doesn’t seem creeped out or any different than his usual stoic self. Mentally, you thank him for being such a strong pillar. Just having him with you makes this so much easier already. 

However, you still manage to think that this test will be easier said than done. The eerie atmosphere sets your senses on high alert regardless of how composed you think you are. 

But, the adeptus tends to think differently. 

“It’s calming, isn’t it?” Xiao asks as he tilts his head up to look at the dark gray sky. You try to face the situation from his point of view and admire the quiet noises coming from the forest. When you think about it, the sound of the bugs humming and the gentle breeze in the grass is comforting. 

“It is,” Too eagerly, you reach for Xiao’s hand and hold it in your own. He doesn’t pull you away or shake you off one bit, he lets you hold on until your heart is content. “we should go on walks together more often.” 

Gently, Xiao squeezes your hand and his sweet touch sends your heart soaring. In his presence, you entirely forget why you were here in the first place. The test is now long forgotten in your mind as you instead focus on walking with him. 

If you would have looked any closer, you would have noticed that it was just the two of you in the forest the entire time. When those on the scaring team saw the adeptus hanging off of your shoulder, they left without a second thought. 

The game is much easier than normal for you thanks to Xiao. 

[whoisneo404]

u should write abt nick x his bestfriend!

maybe something abt how they r bestfriends and they have been for a long time and nick is starting to have feelings for him but doesn’t wanna ruin their friendship

good little angsty story with a good ending

Ik you will cook king���

Kiss the birthday boy.

Summary: You like Nick and he MIGHT like you too. we dont know. and its his birthday soon.

TW: reader is refered as ‘girl’ but not as in reader is a girl, as in ‘giiirl’.

“Which one do you think he will like the most?” Jake looks at me while showing me two jackets.

“Girl… none, buy that one over there, the dark brown one. He will like that.” I say pointing out a jacket hanging behind him.

“Girl, you do know him so well, that’s why I brought you here… and because you and Johnny are good friends, but anyways. Ill buy this, thanks.” He leaves the two jackets he had on hand and grabs the dark brown I pointed out and walked to the cashier. I turn around and start searching for Johnny outside of the store. “Johnny.” I say when I see him.

“Hi.” He says waving awkwardly at me.

“Ugh, I wanna go home.”

“Me too.” he hands me a coffee. “Bought this for you.”

“Thank you.” He nods.

“How are you and your… Nick situation.” I almost choked on my coffee when he said that.

“Don’t call it that.” I say wiping the coffee from my lips.

“What should I call it then? The ‘oh no I like my best friend and I think he also likes me but I’m not sure and I don’t want to ruin our long friendship’ situation?”

“Dear god Johnny, that doesn’t help.” I laugh a bit and he does too.

“Sorry… but how are you with that?”

“It doesn’t help that it’s his birthday soon?”

“Why?”

“I never buy him anything, I never have. I always gift him handmade things, he loves that kind of thing. But every time I sit down to write him a letter, I end up confessing my feelings, I can’t write something normal.”

“Rough.”

“Don’t even tell me.”

“You should talk to Jake.”

“He will tell me to just confess, it isn’t that easy.”

“What are you guys talking about?” Jake gets out of the store and walks to us.

“Coffee.” “Movies.” Johnny and I say at the same time, the three of us exchange looks.

“Movies.” “Coffee.” We say again but the other way around.

“Okay babygirls. Whatever, I won’t ask if you guys have your little secret secrets.” Jake laughs and starts walking to his car.

Once Jake drops me off in my house Johnny gives me a thumbs up and I weakly give it back to him.

---

“Still nothing?” Madi is ‘sitting’ on my desktop, my phone is propped up against my wall and she is wrapping up the gifts for Nick on the floor of her room.

“I can’t do it. I just can’t. It ends up being awkward or I end up saying how much I like him and that I wish he liked me back.” I cover my face with both of my hands and let out a groan. “Maybe I should just tell him I’m sick and I can’t go to the party.”

“He will ditch all of us to take care of you.” Madi said smiling.

“No, he wouldn-… yes he would, he is so kind and lovely to everyone.” I look at Madi and she gives me an empathetic smile which transforms into a smirk.

“Guess who’s calling me.” she says in a singing tone.

“God no, tell him to go away.”

“Already added him to the call.”

“Madi! I need to fix my hair.”

“Too late.”

“Madi!”

“Hiiii!” Nick pops up on the screen, he is smiling and standing in the middle of the room. “What are you guys chatting about? Just so you know, I am deeply offended that you didn’t invite me.” He says while fake crying. I just stare at him, trying to not bury myself into de ground.

“I was talking to this guy about what I’m gonna wear to your party. But it’s a surprise so you can’t see.” Madi says.

“Oh, I like surprises. I’m sure the both of you will look amazing.” He says while walking around his room, cleaning it up a bit. “You guys are staying to sleep, right?” I quickly look at Madi and she mumbles something that I did not understand.

“I am…” I say quickly.

“Cool.” Nick says and then he starts rambling about how exited he is to see his friends and all the things we will do at the sleepover after the party. Eventually he finished cleaning up and grabbed his phone to lay on his bed ‘with us’. We talked about our days, I told them I went out with Jake and Johnny but didn’t say why. After two hours Madi go ‘sleepy’, that’s what she told Nick because when she left the call, she texted me telling me to enjoy my alone time with Nick.

“So, Johnny, huh?”

“What does that mean?” I laugh a bit.

“You and him are close. Well, closer than before.”

“I guess.” I say, I look at my ceiling. My phone laying beside my face.

“Isn’t he like… 5 years older than us?” I quickly sit up and grab my phone, putting it in front of my face.

“What do you mean by that?”

“Like… isn’t he a bit older for you?”

“Nick… what are you saying?”

“Do you like him?” he says quickly.

“What? No. Why would you even think that?”

“I-… I don’t know. I just… fuck- it’s nothing, I just thought… I didn’t but I thought maybe you liked him and I don’t know. Look, it’s late, I’m tired. I’ll text you tomorrow.” And then he hangs up on me. nothing else. Nothing. Silence fills my room and I am confused. Why would he say that?

---

“I’m serious, he was jealous.”

“Madi stop.” The light sound of music fills Madis room as she gets ready to go to Nicks party. It has been two days since that call and I did not have the courage to text Nick, neither did he.

“I’m just saying. I have known Nick for only a few years more than you but I can talk, I know him.” She says applying on her mascara.

“I don’t know…” I lay on her bed, my legs dangling off the edge. “I just don’t know. I want to cry so bad…”

“Hey, hey.” Madi quickly drops her mascara and runs to me, she sits down beside me and I sit up, my elbows on my knees and my head between my hands. “It’s okay…” She comforts me, her arms around me. “You don’t have to go…”

“I will. He is my friend. They are my friends. I- I told Matt I was going to be there.” I mumble. “Also, I have to give them their gifts…”

Madi sighs. “If you need anything just find me. Okay?” I nod and she kisses my cheek gently. “Want me to do your make up?” I chuckle a bit.

“What for?”

“To cheer you up of course.”

“I think that will cheer you up more but, why not?”

---

“Wooow. Who did your make up?” Jake says as we enter the house.

“Oh, Madi.”

“Well, she did a great job.” Johnny adds.

“It’s only mascara, blush and… lip gloss? Lip balm? I don’t know, she put a few things there.” I laugh a bit.

“Have you seen the birthday boys?” I ask.

“Over there.” Jake points to the kitchen and I nod to them. I walk over there and let out a short sigh to brace myself.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” I scream opening my arms and hugging the three of them at the same time. I feel someone laughing, awkward hands patting my back and I hear a muffled ‘thanks’. “How are my birthday boys?” I ask when I let them go.

“I’m glad you came.” Matt says.

“I’m good! we rented a jumping castle.” Chris adds with a childish smile on his face.

“No way…” I say

“Yes way.” He adds.

“Take me there.” I hand him my hand and Chris drags me. “Happy birthday Nick…” I mumble as I pass beside him.

---

It’s 3 am. Almost everyone is gone, I lay on the jumping castle alone, watching the stars blink at me.

“Don’t you feel alone in that castle?” a familiar voice comes from outside the castle.

“Depends who is asking…”

“May I be of company to the prince?”

“You may…” The soft material of the castle moves as he enters the castle and lays besides me. “Well, I think you should be the prince because it’s your birthday.”

“It was yesterday, it’s already 3:20 am.” I roll my eyes and turn my head to look at him. he was already looking at me. “You look good…”

“Most of the make up already washed off.”

“Don’t care. You look good…” he pauses for a bit. “Chris and Matt really liked your gifts…” I hum. “I can’t help but wonder where is mine.”

“I-… it’s in my car.” I sit up and look down to the bright color of the castle.

“Why didn’t you give it to me?”

“I can’t…” I feel him sit up too.

“Look at me.” His hand grabs my jaw gently and he turns my head.

“When it’s late you act weird…”

“You think I’m weird?”

I chuckle. “You know what I meant.”

“No, tell me.”

“You act different… like a few days ago.” He nods, his hand still on my face. “Nick… I can’t.” I grab his hand and pull it away from my face. “Don’t, please.” My eyes fill with tears.

“I’m not doing anything…” I look down and I tighten my grip on his hand.

“Look. I know that you are more… sure about everything, more confident, more outgoing. I’m not. I’m scared…”

“Just tell me.” He whispers. “It will be okay, I promise.”

“Nick-.“ My voice cracks. “I like you.” I whisper, a tear rolls down my face.

“I know… I like you too.” Suddenly the cold breeze of the night isn’t freezing anymore. Time stops for us. His hands go to my face and he kisses me, the kind of kiss that can cure any heart ache. I feel alive.

“I’m sorry.” I sniff. “I shouldn’t be crying. God, this is so awkward. I was so scared.” He grabs my hands that were shaking.

“What do you mean? This is the best gift ever. And not a lot of people can say that the love of they life confessed at a castle.”

I laugh. “Nick, this is a kids jumping castle.” He wipes away the tears of my face.

“I know, I don’t care.” He kisses my lips softly one more. “Let’s go inside. There is taco bell and pizza, you choose what to eat.”

Nick grabs my hand and softly guides me out of the castle, I smile weakly at him and he kisses my cheek. Together, we walk inside of the house.

taglist: @freshloveforthefit @shywolfapricotfan @sturnphilia @matty-bear @thenickgirl @stvrniolvsp @paige05 @soursturniolo @miloisdone1 @teenagetrash00 @lovely-calypso @h3arts4harry @malirosee @m3laninangel

[lottacomics]

Does nana actually love ren? Or yasu more? In 50 chapter i was so confused about shins speech

shin said that nana actually in love with yasu

When nobu and shin see shion go in yasus room , they were all anxious about because nana s reaction .

but nobu has replied “dont say that! She is marrying ren!”

This panel made me to think “Mmmmso i think now that her true love is yasu.. ?” Ouch. ren😢

This was also a Reddit topic lol

https://www.reddit.com/r/NanaAnime/comments/136zga5/what_do_you_guys_think_about_the_theory_that_nana/

there are so many ‘clues’ in the story about it, for example in the chapter 69 when yasu said thanks to nana well that “thanku” was so beautiful for her she cried for the happy . so many chapters after shion say to little misato that a “thank you“ sometimes is more rewarding than “i love u” if it comes from the person we love more.

OK.

I know , Ren has made SO MANY mistakes and in know yasu Is perfect but I believed that nana and ren were soulmates no matter what …happened . I’m so sad for ren… i know.. it’s crazy. yasu and nana are so special yes But i still believed that nana x ren was something more.. no matter what.. till now? 😮‍💨

Ren is my favorite character in nana. that’s why he is to dear to me .. my only hope is that his love is reciprocated by nana.. for real

aahhh I don’t understand what ai yazawa wants to say to us sometimes that i get angry really much. Love is not perfect sometimes… that shion theory’s so deep that i wanna scream 😂 nana was so happy for a thanku .. omg .. Ai Yazawa please.. ren is so lonely in the end.

What do you think about it? So sorry for my bad English

[im-just-a-boy-guys]

BIG WEREWOLF STEP BROTHER/ X /LITTLE FEM BUNNY STEP BROTHER/ 5k words.

Part 1 HERE!

( I hate using Y/N but it will be used at least once.) BIG BRO TEACHES LITTLE BROTHER HOW TO JERK OFF T DICK AND MAKES HIM INTO THE PERFECT TOY.

(STEPCEST/FTM/FEM FTM/ AFAB/ X CIS STEP BROTHER/ MANIPULATION/ R@PE/ FORCED INTOX/ PASSING READER AROUND BETWEEN HIS FRIENDS)

PT 2

We both laughed as we raced to the back porch, our mother was waiting on the porch swing, while our dad was cleaning the freshly used grill. We took a deep breath in through our noses and could smell the char of what he'd cooked. They both smiled softly as they watched us emerge from the trail and the trees. Mom called out

"Dinner's ready! you're home just in time I made burgers and fries!!"

_____________________ slight recap ^^^^ (Continuation vvvv)

I jumped into the air and practically skipped my way to the porch

"Awesome! I love burgers! If you have grilled chicken I'd be happy to take that off your hands too!"

She nodded and ruffled my hair.

"You know I do short stuff. Let me correct myself since your closer. your dad made the burgers, I made the chicken and fries."

She giggled and kissed Dad on the cheek, wrapping happily around his waist. She leaned against his back, she was so in love with him, and I found myself imagining me and Cameron in the same position. My cheeks flushed once again and my mom walked over to me, pressing her cold hands to my cheeks.

"Are you alright dear? Feels like you have a slight fevor."

I laughed nervously and stepped back.

"No I'm fine, was probobly all of that running huh?"

I could feel Cameron's eyes on me and saw him smirking out of the corner of my eye. I had heard about testosterone-increasing libido but was only now starting to understand it to the full extent.

We ate dinner and I meandered up to my room, closed and locked my door, and stripped. I couldn't stop thinking about the way his nose felt pressed up against my clit. I laid down on my bed, tucked one of the extra pillows between my legs, and began to grind against it desperately.

I could've grabbed my vibrator, but since my clit had grown in size due to the testosterone, it was just easier to rub and grind against anything. This made me feel like I was in heat, but that didn't happen for another week or two.

I could feel my clit throbbing as I reached back with my fingers, using the wetness from my aching hole to lubricate myself. I imagined my fingers were his wet nose pushing against my clit in just the right way to tease me. My finger's slipped back and my imagination danced into the feeling of his tongue now, padding over my whole pussy. It must be so big, I needed it inside of me.

I squeaked softly as I felt his big paws grip around my thighs, he must've been watching me, but I didn't hear him come in. his nose was pressed right up against my whole, covering his maw in my wetness. I moaned out a little loudly and he gripped my face harshly.

"Shh- be quiet sweet boy. dont want Mom and Dad hearing now do we?"

He cooed deeply into my ear and my form shifted into the smaller, desperate bunny I wanted to be for him. I could feel him already shifted, his throbbing cock resting against my thigh as he investigated my dripping cunt. I wiggled back desperately against his face, panting needily. He gently played with my clit using one of his claws.

"You're on T huh? Your clit got really big- Now its like you have a cute little dick for me to playwith-"

He flipped me onto my back and slipped his shirt off, tucking it under me quickly before leaning down between my legs. Cameron guided my paws down to either side of my T-dick and began to help me rub myself. I was already salivating at the sensation, but with his paws guiding me, it felt even closer to heaven.

"That's right baby, just Keep on rubbing- such a good boy. I'm going to show you what a real man feels like, yeah?"

Cameron aligned himself with my hole, his tip barely fitting in as he pushed. I whimpered, but he kept his paw tightly over my mouth to muffle the noise, holding his weight up on his other arm that rested just above my shoulder. He pushed into me roughly, his tip felt big enough to rip me open. I practically screamed into his paw and started eagerly grinding against his tip.

"Good boy, see how good that feels to Jerk off your cute little dick for me?"

This was even more amazing than anything I could've imagined, he was so big and I wasn't sure I could take him. He began to gently and slowly thrust his hips, his arm keeping me in place as he moved.

Cameron gradually kept pushing more and more into me until I was stretched all the way around his cock, taking him almost to the knot. I felt his pointed tip tickling my cervix, drooling against his paw as my eyes rolled back into my head. He grunted and panted, his thrusts becoming more sloppy as he picked up speed. His gruff voice sounded strained as he looked down at me.

"Think you could keep quiet if i moved my paw, bunny?"

I nodded and bit my lip softly, he removed his paw and placed it above my other shoulder. Now that he had proper leverage, he sank his claws into my mattress and slammed his hips aggressively into my pussy, his knot threatening entry.

I carefully moved my legs to his shoulders, the best I could reach, letting my brother fold me in half almost. I needed his knot badly, I wanted to be full of his cum. Cameron smirked down at me, bearing his teeth, and laughed mockingly.

"Yeah? Do you want my knot that bad, sweet boy?"

"Mhm!"

I whined though I tried to keep quiet. He grunted and rammed his hips into me a few times, hitting a few of my sweet spots and my body spasmed as I squirted over his cock and thighs, this allowed him enough lubrication for him to force his knot inside of me, locking me in place as he pumped me full of his thick, hot, sticky cum.

Before I could even process how full I was, he pulled his Knot out of me, covering my mouth with his paw again. This was good because I screamed into it.

He slinked down my body, his head between my legs once again, and pushed his nose against my clit. I moaned softly into the wetness, then gasped as I felt his warm tongue wrapping around my sensitive T-dick. My hips bucked and I tried to squirm out of his grasp, I felt far too sensitive to properly get off, but Cameron didn't seem to care much.

"Cameron!!"

I moaned into his hand. as I tried to push him off of me. He used his free arm to hold me down by my chest.

"Ah- ah- Ah- Stay still for me, pretty boy, I've been wanting to taste you since you got here- and you're going to let me-"

I nodded and tried to keep my squirming to a minimum. He teased me for what felt like hours, and it drove me insane, I must've squirted 5 times.

Once he was done with me, he sat up on his knees, smiling and whining off his face. He looked so handsome in the moonlight as it shined off his beautiful skin. I was so in love with how handsome he was. Cameron leaned down and licked my cheek.

" Alright, bun. Get cleaned up - I'll see you at breakfast tomorrow, yeah?"

He chuckled and snuck out of my bedroom. For the next couple of weeks, he left me deprived. No secret late-night visits, no sneaky touches, just brotherly love.

I wanted him to touch me so desperately. I'd go into my room, leaving the door cracked while I touched myself in my panties, and when he passed by, he didn't even stop to look, not even so much as a sideways glance. What did I do? Was my squirting gross? Was I gross? Mas my clit to big and embarrassing? I hated myself so much. I could barely live without his attention.

One night, Mom and Dad had left to go out to dinner and had texted the family group chat that they were staying at a hotel.

'Lucky.'

I thought to myself. I was so frustrated, emotionally and otherwise. I laid down on the couch and watched a movie, sulking in my own loneliness.

I heard noises and shouting coming from outside and sat up to investigate, seeing my brother and his friends, Liam, Chance, and Calin walk through the door. I was pretty sure Liam, a scruffy looking blonde, was a tiger hybrid, and Calin was a dear or goat hybrid. I couldn't remember the other friend was, though. They wrestled their way in and laughed with eachother.

"Hey (y/n) !"

Cameron laughed and waved at me. He smiled, not even a Sparky smirk or his fangs showing in the way they used to. My gut sank.

"Hey..."

I mumbled and lay down, returning to my movie. He ushered his friends up the stairs and turned to look at me. Nothing special in his eyes.

"Hey, me and my friends are going to smoke in my room, if Mom or Dad come home text me SOS."

"No problem."

I replied, forcing a soft smile. When he disappeared, I sighed and wept softly into the throw pillow beneath my head. I covered up with a blanket and fell asleep eventually. I woke up later to soft whispers but kept my eyes closed as I tried to process if it was a dream or not.

"Shh. Be quiet or you'll wake him up, stupid."

Cameron? What's he doing downstairs?

"Him? But she's got tits-"

A loud thud sounded as Chance was cut off.

"OUCH! Shit- what the fuck-"

"He's more of a man than you are. His dick is bigger."

Cameron laughed and stroked my head softly, I couldn't help but lean into his hand. I hoped he was smiling at me. Calin sounded confused.

"A dick? How-"

"When you take testosterone, it could make a person's clit bigger. So they end up having a little trans dick and it's super cute to play with. It's just as sensitive as any other dick. I've seen it in porn."

He's never sounded more stupid.

"So when do we get to touch 'him' ?"

"Woah. Calm down there, R Kelly. Exited rapist much? Give it a minute."

Touch me? What?

Cameron gently shook me 'awake'. I sat up and mumbled softly,

" What- is it- are Mom and Dad home?"

"Haha. No. Just wanted to see if you wanted to learn how to smoke with us, I'd rather you do it in a safe space. Plus, with us around, you'll have - Loads of fun -"

"Oh sure, I guess."

I gently folded up the blanket to the side, having fallen asleep in my soft, red panties and a black band tee shirt. To hide my underwear at least a little, I sat with my legs folded to the side.

"Here, you sit in the middle, and you can take the first hit. I'll show you how it's done."

Cameron lit the joint and put the filter to my lips. His hands were so big and his fingers were right against my lips.

"Suck in softly only for a second. Like a straw. Inhale, exhale. You can breathe it in when you get better at smoking, but he'll. That's how I smoke anyway. It's easier to manage."

I did as he said and pondered the taste and smell. It was better than a cigarette smell, so there was that. I was attacked a little by a soft bunch of coughs. He put on a movie while I was taking the hit and the "Pineapple Express' began to play. The other boys guys laughed at me softly, but I didn't take it personally. It seemed silly to be taking my first hit of something around people who must practically breathe the stuff.

"Right, so we pass it back and forth, up and down the line. I'll sit next to you and I'll have my arm behind you in case you don't feel good, alright?"

I nodded and passed the joint to him, watching as he inhaled, leaned his head back, and blew the smoke out. His neck stretched and his collar bones flexed softly in his v-neck tee shirt. It was the most delicious thing I'd ever seen of him, and I was starved of his affections.

He spotted me staring and smiled down at me with a soft smirk that made my heart pound. I looked down shyly, and my face covered itself in red. Most of them softly melded into their animal forms as we passed the joint back and forth. I hadn't paid attention to how many they'd lit if more than one.

I felt my ears extend and my tail wiggle softly as I slipped into a colorful daze, barely being able to pick up on any conversation that was had, leaning against Cameron and resting my legs across Liam. He didn't seem to be paying me any attention but rubbed my thigh gently as my brother held me, one arm around me. I mumbled softly.

"I'm very thirsty..."

I hid my face behind my ears, embarrassed of my needs. Cameron laughed, and I peeked through my ears, seeing his hooded eyes, the dark circles backed by a soft red that clouded the whites of his glassy eyes.

"Calin, grab him a ice water please?"

The blonde smiled and gave a playful two finger solute, disappearing into the kitchen.

"I cant..really move or hold- myself up-"

I tried to sit up, preparing for my water, but found quickly that this was very true and I was immobile. Cameron picked me up and sat me in his lap. I was happy with this initially, pleased with the idea of him helping me, and his crotch being right up against my dripping hole. When I felt Liam's strong hands on my thighs and my brother's even stronger arms around my body, I was in a soft trance of imagining disgusting things.

Cameron gently lifted my legs, putting them on the outsides of his, and held my legs open, exposing my panties and the small wet patch that had accumulated. I tried to squirm but was granted no such freedom as his hands began to roam all over my sensitive body. I leaned my head back against his shoulder and gasped softly, unable to contain myself.

I shrank fully into my bunny form and I could see them around me taking their full forms as well. Calin walked into the room and my brother took the glass into his hand and held my face with the other. He opened my mouth and poured the water in carefully before setting it to the side.

"You just let me know if you need any more water, alright? But take it slow. Liam. You've been polite, you get first dibs."

The dear man walked over quietly. He seemed reserved but just as big and strong as my brother's other friends. I watched him as he slipped out of his basketball shorts and revealed his throbbing cock.

"Open your mouth sweet boy-"

Cameron cooed in my ear but I clenched my mouth shut, hesitating. He gripped my face, forcing my jaw open.

"That wasn't a request, Doll. Now stick your tongue out and be good."

I did just that and looked up at Liam, watching him step closer and tease himself by gently rubbing his tip all over my tongue.

His moans were so soft and addicting, I almost came without even being touched. I loved how much I was getting him off, I could already taste his cum.

I was able to regain a little of my movement, gently grinding back against my brother's cock that I could feel hardening beneath me in his jeans.

I pushed my head forward lightly, Cameron helping hold my throat so I could please his friend's property. chance and Calin stood next to me on either side, jerking themselves off, occasionally pressing their tips to my cheeks, commenting on how soft they were.

Once I gained slight control of my limbs I reached out for them and the two boys helped guide my hands to stroke them. I could feel the throbbing veins against my paws, smiling dumbly and I let my eyes glaze over.

My mouth closed softly around Liam's cock as he began to gently thrust against my tongue, the dear boy panted softly as he rested his hands on my head, gripping my hair softly.

My brother grabbed my hip with one hand and breathed into my ear, grinding against me like he needed me. And god had I missed that. He fought to get his pants off and ripped my panties open, careful not to disturb my progress with his friends while he shoved his warm, thick dick into my dripping cunt.

I moaned out around Liam's length and moved my tongue against him, he whimpered softly and gasped. His cock pulled a couple of times, was he close already? I wanted to feel his cum fill my throat so badly.

Cameron no longer needed to hold me up as I had sobered up slightly, and held both of my hips in his giant hands. He thrusted into me roughly, the tip pushing against my cervix most perfectly. As he moved he moaned out.

"God I've missed you! Fuck I've been trying to hold off but you be been teasing me- and now we get to have our way with you.. Like the slut we know you are- isn't that right, baby brother?"

I drooled around Liam as he spoke, taking more and more of his length into my throat and smiling as best I could with my mouth full.

"Mhm!!!"

I moaned out and Liam groaned loudly, gripping my hair and plunging himself into my throat. His hot cum poured into my stomach as I swallowed happily. He pulled out of my mouth and fell back onto the floor, panting softly. I coughed softly and smiled dumbly.

Calin stepped in front of me, his dick was even bigger than Liam's, and I was eager to taste, immediately looking up at him with doe eyes and opening my mouth.

He groaned and dug his claws into my head, thrusting roughly all the way into my throat, causing me to gag and sputter around him, it was one of the best feelings ever, being used like this. I used both of my hands to rub Chance off, and he moaned lewdly, fucking into my paw pads. Soon, he came on my cheeks and sat down on the corner of the couch, waiting for his turn with my mouth.

Cameron continued to fuck himself silly into me, he came in me multiple times, using the last load to lubricate the both of us for the rest. He bit into my neck and licked all over me, anything he could do to bury my scent into his sinus and feel as close to me as possible.

I continued to moan over Calin as he used my throat, fast and rough. I could feel his claws against the base of my skull as he used me like a flashlight. I tried to move my tongue around him, having a rough time keeping my jaw from locking. Soon he pushed his cock into the back of my throat and pulled out to his tip, softly fucking my lips as he came harshly into my mouth.

"Like a straw pretty boy- suck"

He growled down at me. And I was happy to oblige, moving both of my hands to treat him, one on his knot and the other on his shaft, helping milk him into my mouth. I swallowed happily and blushed as he pulled out and laughed.

"Damnit, he's good."

My brother laughed deeply and wrapped both of his arms around my waist, rapidly moving his hips against me, my legs gently kicking with pleasure as I squirted over him.

"Fuckk! Fuck fuck!!!"

I screamed out loudly as I happily rode out my orgasm on his knot. He sighed happily, and I climbed off of him gingerly, making my way to change on the floor.

I took his cock into my hands, smiling as I took his tip into my mouth. He was the only one who hadn't let himself transform yet, melting into his Lion form, his ruff growing large and fluffy, his knot filling with arousal as he watched me. He pet my head gently as I pleased him, bobbing my head up and down as I massaged his knot and length.

I felt something warm and wet against my clit and a warm set of arms wrap around my thighs, looked down and saw Liam, looking up at me with his soft eyes as he sucked on my Tdick, pushing his head against me and bobbing his head just like I was.

I pushed my hips into his affections and worked extra hard to please Chance, looking up at him with big eyes, hoping he would take advantage of my mouth the way his friend had.

He obliged and gripped my hair, moving his hips against my mouth as he thrusted into my throat, it almost felt like he was fucking my brain, and my eyes rolled back into my head.

During my brain-dead, fuzzy blur, I felt myself squirt a few times into Liam's mouth, but he kept going pleasantly.

He moaned quietly against my pussy, his tongue traveling down to my cum filled entrance occasionally.

I could feel Chances dick pulsing against the walls of my throat and quickly following a burst of cum flooded my esophagus. This time, I wasn't as prepared and struggled to get off of him as he milked his cock into my face.

"Mm!! Mn!!!"

I struggled, and he finally let me up, I choked and sputtered for a moment and tried to swallow what I could. Liam checked on me and Chance laughed softly.

"Sorry, sweetheart. You alright? I got carried away- you just felt so fuckin' good-"

I smiled dazedly and leaned against Liam. He handed me to my brother, and Cameron cradled me softly in his arms and carried me up, putting me in a hot bath. The water was so warm that I almost fell asleep, but I tried to clean myself as best I could.

I was just happy other animals couldn't properly mate without measures being taken to try and force it. I relaxed back against the walls and heard moving downstairs. I assumed they were cleaning up but didn't pay it much mind.

I daydreamed of all of their different affections and how sweet they all tasted and were in their own ways, fawning over them all, but especially my brother. The way he was laying, cum covered, and the way his body was shaped drove me crazy, and it always would.

[antiendovents]

// this is abt nightowltribe and those posting NPD abuse shit in systempunk- vent is *about* the ableism and doesnt detail it

seeing people be ableist about NPD (and as a further connotation all cluster B and stigmatised disorders)

in systempunk tags has really broken us down

we are a system w NPD and havent come face to face with that ableism before and its really hurt our own recovery..

like the people post about it are actively just being ableist and stamping on our voices when weve been civil trying to help educate... everyone has been trying to be civil and the people r acting like theyre right just for saying "if u dont like it, block me"

its heartbreaking watching a tag we hold dear, a tag built to combat ableism, be overrun with their ableism.

we've ended up splitting a lot (/sys) just because of this and i (Svea) hold so much pain and hatred for myself purely because we have NPD... im so tired.. and im just fucking sad

im really sorry about this anon. We also have NPD & are heavily triggered by narc abuse shit so we get it. Unfortunately we have come across this stuff face to face a lot but we understand that the first time is always the hardest. We hope you're okay, remember they're just one shitty person. There have been many positive posts about Narcissists in that tag, I'd recommend maybe trying to read a few, it might make you feel a bit better (for example @narcissistic-punk-department reblogs lots of narcissist positivity)

((when I say narcissist positivity I mean positivity posts directed to narcissists))

[cutiepiemina]

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄ What you do to me ⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Neteyam x reader short fanfic ❤

༺ fluff ༻

༺ friends to lovers ༻

༺ confession scenario ༻

༺ Neteyam being a sweetie ༻

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

´´Neteyam´´

your voice called out.

´´Neteyaam´´ once again, this time finally snapping your friend out of the trance currently engulfing him. Slowly he looks away from the sweet little pond the two of you sat at and down over at you with half lidded eyes.

´´You okay? You kinda been just staring at the water. You got something on your mind?´´ you ask the older boy seated next to you.

´you´ is what he thinks, yet he doesn´t answer, instead he quietly stares at you with his yellow glowy eyes, making you ever the more curious.

His muted stare starts to unsettle you, so you give him an eyebrow raise along with a playful shove. ´´what r you starin at bro, snap out of it ´´. Saying ´´bro´´ at least a million times a day is something you had picked up from the sully boys from being around them so much. He looks away from you and with his large hand he picks up one of the pretty fluorescent rocks, that illuminate the nightly darkness and throws it into the pond, following it with his eyes. All the while you´re trying to understand what might be occupying his mind.

´´ Did Lo´ak do something? Ooor are you worried about the sky people? Either way you know you ca-

´´Just ... what is it about you ´´ your sentence is interrupted midway as he blurts his thoughts out to you, in a low voice.

´´The hell?´´ you laugh out, you couldnt make any sense of him. ´´What about me? Did I do something?´´

He shifts his gaze away from the pond and back to you again, his lingering stare reminding you of the close proximity to him. It was like he was looking inside your deepest soul thoughts. What the hell got this dude acting like this?

´´Y/N .. tell me what is it that you do to me. I cant understand this. ´´ his face suddenly closer than before, mustering yours. You could feel the atmosphere shift, afraid and unsure of the direction this would take.

´´ i cant explain it very well, but I can also not deny that you have an effect on me like nothing else, I feel it here´´ he motions toward his stomach.

Your heart starts beating faster. He was never like this before. His expression seemed undecipherable, so stern and focussed yet so relaxed.

´´Do you not feel it Y/n? Dont you see it?´´

´´Wha-´´

´´I cant think straight because of you, my mind is constantly consumed by you. I want to be around you at all times. I even dream of you. Do you really not see? Because I see you. I see only you.´´

´´Neteyam what are you saying´´ his face inches éven closer, your heart racing even faster and his eyes starting to light up.

´´I dont know my dear. This is the effect you have on me. It´s overwhelming honestly. You are perfection in my eyes.´´

And in your stomach there was this feeling again, this cribbling feeling you were never able to interpret that you would feel when he stood closely behind you when correcting your form with your bow, the feeling when you lock eyes for a second too long as you watch him skillfully hunt in all his glory, the feeling when you eavesdropped on him ranting to his brother about you.

The same exact feeling he got each time you would fix his hair, smile up at him as he towered over your smaller self, worriedly tend to his wounds or just sing with the other girls.

But of course neither of you knew that the feeling was mutual, neither of you even understood what to make of this feeling. Therefore all you knew to do was keeping one another close.

The moments went by and you remained silent, which made the boy that had spilled his heart out to you grow worried. Did he say something wrong. ´´Please.. I´´ he splurted out so vulnerable, almost panicked. ´´Being around you feels .. right, it feels like its supposed to be this way, me and you, please tell me, do you feel this connection too?

Still unsure what to say, you instinctively grab his hand to his reassurance. He calmed. He looks down at your intertwined hands and back at you again. The feeling was indeed mutual.

´´Oh Neteyam.´´

´´Yes ?´´ He responds eagerly, both of your hearts beating uncontrollably, as you inch closer and closer ...

[ryuuka-balaen]

@skitariiposting tagging you because it's your fault the idea got stuck in my head to make this, both because of this post and because of a conversation in the discord server you made.

(content warning for my dear friend fae who hates hearing me do this; video with deadvoice ahead.)

[edit: the video embeds closer to the end don't seem to work on the mobile app. they do work in mobile browser though, if you're willing to go to the effort of opening this post in your browser just to watch them.]

it's not exactly what I wanted and I probably should have thought a little more about how to word things beforehand but whatever I'm tired so I'm not trying a second take.

now a few comments to answer the questions i expect to get if any more than the usual 3 people see this before i get them;

those people that have told me they cant voice train have also once told me its ableism for me to say that that's not true and that they're lying to themselves. And yes, there are some people who for medical reasons may not be able to do vocal training due to problems relating to their larynx or voicebox. This is not about them! That said, being autistic does not stop you from doing vocal training. Having ADHD does not stop you from doing vocal training. Yes, it may be somewhat harder because autistic people and other neurodivergents often have difficulty managing their inflections and tone. It may be somewhat more difficult for these people as they will need to pay more attention to those things but that is not an impassible barrier.

For people that say they tried and it just didn't work; You don't know how to move the muscles you need to to be able to train your voice. That's what the exercises are for. That's the entire point! They teach you how to consciously use the muscles you use to change your voice and they strengthen those muscles so that they'll be eventually be able to stand up to constant use.

The tips i have for vocal training! first and foremost i always always always recommend people to read this guide; https://www.reddit.com/r/transvoice/comments/d3clhe/ls_voice_training_guide_level_1_for_mtf/ The first step to making your voice something you like is to understand what it's made of. There are some great exercises there to help you gain better control of the different components of your voice and from that you can start to build a voice that's yours.

aside from that i dont have any actual tips to give lol aside from explaining how i trained my voice; first by reading the guide i linked front to back multiple times to memorize it's content, then trying each of the exercises included once to get a feel for what those exercises were exercising/developing. From there I had somewhat of an idea of how to proceed and started on my actual training:

Streaming On Twitch.

that was all I did for my vocal training, and how I incentivized myself to actually do the training.

That said; I do have a couple proper tips to give, the first of which is that pitch doesnt mean shit for making your voice sound feminine. people of all genders that're into women will rave about how deep or gravelly women's voices sound "mature" and "sexy" and that's because low pitch does not read as masculine. What you should pay attention to in your voice is your resonance and your tone, which are explained in the guide I sent above. To sum up from what I remember, you do not want your voice to be resonating in your chest (a lot of people will talk about "headvoice" for getting your voice to resonate in your mouth, my resonance point is actually in my throat so you don't need to try that hard at that). For tone, it's helpful to know that a voice that fluctuates in tone more is read as more feminine, and a voice that has a more flat tone is read as more masculine.

aside from what your voice sounds like, your choice of words and how you pronounce them has a much more significant impact on how a voice is read than most people would think. a voice that speaks bluntly and emphasizes hard sounds and stops in words is read as more masculine, and a voice that uses indirect wording and sort of 'flows' words together (it's been described to me as trying to sound how cursive looks) by softening and sometimes dropping entirely hard sounds like 'g's or 't's from words will be read as more feminine.

finally; START SLOW. WORK IN SMALL INCREMENTS. it is extremely easy to overwork or pull your vocal muscles and permanently damage your voice. if you ever feel fatigue or pain in your neck/throat while vocal training, the time to stop has already passed, and you need to give your body a couple days to recover. I don't like to share my old twitch channel, but I want to for this post as I feel they're a good way to help me explain. So, as an example of where to start, here's one of my first clips from when I started streaming;

The only efforts I was putting into my voice at this time was one, doing a "customer service voice" that one might do when working a customer service position or otherwise pretending to like someone you're talking to by speaking in an overly friendly tone and lifting your voice a little. And two, I was lifting the resonance point of my voice so it didn't rumble in my chest and instead felt closer to my neck.

That was from Sept.1, and the first clip I was able to find where I feel my voice started sounding more feminine was from Dec.8, so just a little over three months later;

I'm not putting these here as a way to say "it should take you about three months to get to the point you can use a feminine voice," my intent is actually the opposite. because, again, I was speaking for five hours a day every day to gradually work myself up to this point and that's very much not something that most people have the time and space available to do.

The last thing I have to say, I think, is that when people have asked before what exercises I did to train my voice, the answer I've given is "Screaming". and, uh. I don't think that that alone gives a good idea of what I mean, so here. have three examples of Screaming.

looking for those I've realized that I didnt start doing the screaming noises really til after I'd settled into a half-decent feminine voice but I do stand by that that and making strange noises was extremely beneficial in my learning to better control my voice and really settle into a voice that I enjoy and am comfortable in.

[kiss2012]

tsc thoughts under the cut cause i finished

i literally cannot wrap my thoughts around my overall opinion of it i feel like i absolutely need to reread it first

but also i need to reread tfc because I MISS TFC SO BAD ➡️ girl who reread it last may. i do think i spoke tsc into existence by doing this because i hadn’t looked at the trilogy since 2019 and then all of a sudden i decided to reread and found that unfortunately they still make me batshit crazy. what is in those books.

however i do like tfc better 🤷🏽‍♀️ so if i did reread tfc after this and read tsc again i would just want to read tfc again

this is not fair to say at all because tfc is a whole trilogy and this was only book 1. and i rlly need to start saying aftg instead of tfc cause it’s getting confusing because like i do think tsc is better than tfc (the first book). however i just…like aftg better? i feel like it’s more fun which is probably a weird thing to say considering it’s a lot More than tsc is. and obviously this book was more about jean’s recovery. but more happens in aftg. idk we’ll see tho

i do love jean and the trojans but i miss neil and the foxes every page. i feel like it’s harder to connect to the trojans because there r so many of them. and idk sports so the three coaches is probably normal for a team of this size i really wouldn’t know lol but i couldn’t keep the coaches straight in my head either

point is the foxes r my everything 4ever. i love jean jeremy cat and laila and i see what she was trying to do by introducing the floozy line (cute name) however i dont really have a strong feeling about them because we met them for like 5 minutes

i do love nabil tho why is he not part of the floozy line :(((((

i think cat and laila were absolutely perfect. they’re given a lot of depth especially cat and they’re so important to me. they’re better here than in fanon i think but i feel like fanon did get their personalities and relationship down mostly right. apart from cat not just being called alvarez LMAO bless neil only calling her that and fanon having no choice but to do the same because no one agreed on one single name. i remember sara was one that i saw a lot but i like catalina way way better i love cat <3 i love laila <3 their friendship with jeremy <3

an evening breeze rainbows open roads friends 😭😭😭😭😭😭

bi jean is so dear to me

also jean rooming with cat and laila (and then jean) literally perfect omg. no one ever put that in fics but i think it was the best thing to do. sorry for having to compare tsc to fanon im not trying to say one is better than the other at all but what you have to understand is how many fics about jean post tkm are out there and how many of them i read so my mind is going to go there. i wasn’t rlly obsessed with jerejean but i was (and am) a jerejean girl. and i had (have lmao) very high standards for fic so i stand by a lot of those fics WHILE still standing by everything tsc is

by which i mean i cannot get poc jean out of my head thanks to that one fic where he is moroccan. in that same fic jeremy was also spanish and i sort of adopted that into my image of them so i am trying to let go of it but i mean even the hatfords being pakistani still lives in my head despite how unlikely it is. and most of the time i pictured jeremy with golden hair (sometimes curls) so even though i think nora’s compromise being to have naturally brown-haired jeremy bleaching his hair is hilarious and iconic. sort of impossible for me not to picture him with golden hair.

however when jean was all startled and went “blond” when he saw jeremy’s hair. reader i died

english major jeremy is still a gift to me personally

kevin bargaining and arguing for his history major..my baby…the mentions of kevin and kevin’s actual appearances in tsc are everything. the postcards and magnets…kill me

every time neil showed up i lost my mind i love him SO MUCH!!!

see my problem is i wish the foxes showed up more even though it makes no sense for them to. i want kevin jeremy and jean in a room together. i will kill for jean and allison interaction especially if they talk about renee (yes i am holding onto renison still). i want jeremy and cat and matt and dan to hang out. i need laila to meet andrew. i need more renee I LOVE RENEE we did get a good amount of her though i think. she was everything.

genuinely think the way jean and renee was handled here was so perfect. i totally see the merit of it if they end the series together. i also see why jean might end the series without being with anyone romantically. but narratively i cant help but feel jerejean is what makes the most sense. the reason i liked them in the first place is their narrative appeal. and they were genuinely so good in this. so. idk. can’t think about that too much.

i have some problems with the writing like i did with the og series but um the thing is i cannot view these books objectively because they impacted me so much at a young age. i will say i wish tsc could have had a professional editor lol.

i also have some issues with the pacing tho because i did not expect it to end there at all? im so glad she started it where she did but when it ended i was like WAIT WHAT

i have a feeling the reason riko did what he did with the backliners is because he saw jean looking at kevin. could be wrong here but judging from how often jean talks about learning his lesson about looking at guys too long. well.

the main thing for me is that i don’t see how we’re going to get to championships in 2 books if this book only covered till the summer. you could argue exy games arent that important for jean’s story but i do think they are insanely important for jeremy’s story. and if he’s a pov character i want more about him!! that man is keeping his issues locked up (I NEED TO KNOW WHAT THEY R) but we can tell he loves exy and he needs to win his last year

my memory of the extra content is so dim and some of it i have voluntarily chosen to forget or just not consider plus i think some of it will/has changed. but i think i remember reading that trojans win for their last year and i Need that to happen. cause in my head it went: foxes win neil’s first year and trojans win neil’s second year and jeremy’s last year. idc for the rest i want neil to have won championships twice or at least once as captain so that’s what happens in my head.

like i need more about jeremy teaching jean to love exy again and more about jeremy’s apparently complicated family issues with exy???? jeremy let me in.

anywayy. this book feels like a fever dream and im going insane

[stevie-petey]

hiya m! hope all is well and ur doing good with school stuff. do u maube want to do something from nancy's pov? specifically about maybe her feelings on r and johnathan's closeness and how she feels a little like she's intruding/unsure if she's stepping on toes, or maybe even how close r and steve are (though i don't think she suspects or makes anything of it at this point but i'm not sure). just something about her thoughts on r and her closeness with one of the boys would be so very delicious <3

hi my dear !! im doin well and have no pressing assignments today so <3 we rock n roll. ur blurb is fantastic and i hope i did justice to nancys character shes an intimidating person to write tbh

enjoy !

“how long until they finally get together?” barb asks nancy, the two of them watching as you and jonathan walk towards your locker.

“jonathan and y/n?” nancy closes her locker. “i dont know, havent really paid attention to them.”

barb pokes her with the tip of her pen. “liar, arent they always hanging out with your brother?”

“mikes life is none of my business.”

“fair, but c’mon. you seriously cant be telling me that you dont think jonathan and y/n will get together soon.”

nancy doesnt say anything, hoping that if she doesnt respond then barb will drop the subject, but she knows she has a point. nancy had been lying before, she does pay attention to you two.

not in a creepy or judgmental way, but of course shes paid attention to you and jonathan. how could she not? the two of you were like this inseparable pair of endearing grandparents. always bickering and yet always holding each others hands through it all.

nancy thinks its sweet, in a way. to have someone care about a person so much and with such devotion. to be taken care of. it was obvious, even to nancy, that the two of you really loved each other.

its also why she kept her distance from you two, though. nancy felt like there was never any room in your little planet together, but she didnt mind. she had barb, steve harrington winked at her last week; she was doing fine.

but when nancy began hanging around you and jonathan because barb went missing, she started to fear that there really was no room for her on the planet you guys inhabited. she always felt three steps behind in the conversations with you and jonathan. the two of you had long perfected an unspoken language and nancy was helpless in deciphering it.

but she had to push down the uncertainty to find barb. thats all nancy cared about, even if sometimes jonathan looked at her like she was someone other than perfect nancy wheeler. like he was interested in her intelligence rather than her beauty.

it was nice. really nice.

no one had ever taken her seriously before.

but then nancy would see you in the background, hovering over jonathans shoulder as you always have done, and she’d feel like shit afterwards.

nancy knows you love jonathan, and the way he looks at you when you arent looking at him, she cant deny that he loves you, too.

what she cant figure out, however, is the capacity of love between you and him. despite days of being around you two, seeing all your interactions and small gestures and nicknames and adoration between you, nancy cant figure out if its romantic or something else.

and after watching you and jonathan for a few days, nancy concludes that you guys dont seem to know whats between you either. theres a thin line that hangs over you and jonathan. a thread of almost thats so precariously thin.

and nancy doesnt want to be the one that severs it.

so when she gets paired with you in the shed that night at the school to find will and barb, nancy takes her only opportunity to reassure you that shes not a threat. nancy isnt an idiot, shes seen the way you look at her after jonathan has done something kind towards her.

“i dont want to intrude.” nancy tells you, with all the sincerity and truth she can offer. she really, truly doesnt want to step over the line with jonathan. she understands that hes yours and youre his in a way that she may not ever fully know. but she still respects it.

nancy wants to be your friend.

but she also wants jonathans understanding of her, too.

its a dangerous and blurry and confusing thing.

and sometimes nancy is terrified she’ll fuck it up, hurt everyone in the process, but shes also been perfect her entire life.

nancy wheeler understands that selfishness is not inherently wrong, but every time shes selfish, the people she loves the most get hurt.

thats one thing barb taught her.

nancy refuses to hurt anyone else, especially someone as selfless as you, as genuine as jonathan, and as sincere as steve.

none of you deserve it, so nancy bites her tongue and goes to parties and makes sure to always leave a few inches of space between her and jonathan.

anything to keep everyone afloat.

[jinkicake]

~ ♡ Dear Lover ♡ ~ 

a tiny peek into your relationship

(( Day #3 )) Diluc, Kaeya, Tighnari, Xiao x Reader

A/N: all i know abt this is that when i wrote it i desperately wanted fluff.... as you all know im not good at writing it but here is my attempt.... i love love love these four T T why am i soooo obsessed w fluff rn i dont knowwwww

WC - 2,839

~~~

. . .

Diluc R. treasures his intimate time with you. 

The man has always enjoyed a quiet atmosphere, it brings him comfort that is akin to a warm blanket. Whenever he is in your presence, basking in the hushed ambiance of the winery, he feels the most at peace. 

For a second, Diluc lets his eyes leave the book in one of his hands in search of something more intriguing. His hard eyes stare at you while his fingers continue their light strokes against your calf, your legs currently draped over his lap. You’re reading your own book and biting on the inside of your cheek at whatever is happening within the novel. Diluc can’t tear his eyes away. 

There’s something about the way the afternoon sun is hitting your face and painting your body with a gorgeous golden hue, one so bright that Diluc thinks he needs to soon look away. He can’t, he’s always been selfish with you. His eyes find the subtle rise and fall of your chest and watch as you quietly breathe in and out, he’s certain he’s addicted to you. 

“How much longer are you going to stare at me?” Your lips quirked up as you continue to stare at your novel, you don’t even have to look at Diluc to tell that he is staring. Almost instantly, his eyes dart to a random spot in the room as if that will erase his piercing gaze. “You’re distracting me, my love,” 

Diluc’s breath almost hitches in his throat, he knows how much you despise being interrupted while reading. He almost starts to feel ashamed but then you close your book shut. 

“Good thing I need a distraction, I’m bored with this, it’s a shame.” You face him with a pout, a deep expression that Diluc just wants to kiss off and his fingers twitch at the opportunity to touch you. All he can do is wordlessly watch as you get up and shuffle your position on the couch. Now, your head is in his lap as you play with the ends of his long hair. 

Diluc’s book from earlier is now long gone. 

“(Y/N),” Diluc murmurs quietly as his gloved hand traces your jaw, his thumb rubbing your chin lightly. There’s something that shifts in his features, almost darkening, as you tilt your head back with a smile. Your throat, bare for him, has always been something of a weak spot for Diluc. 

He ignores the teasing glint in your eyes in favor of tracing one finger down the front of your neck. Before he knows it, his entire hand rests across the span of skin, his thumb now on one side of your throat with his other fingers resting on the opposite side. 

“How was work today?” You hum and Diluc starts to find it incredibly difficult to focus, he doesn’t understand how on earth you are managing to keep a decent conversation with him right now while his restraint is slipping through his fingers. 

“Work,” Diluc repeats, his low voice dragging the mumble out as he starts to gently squeeze his gloved hand around your throat. 

“You know, the thing that you do every day? What did you do today?” Your teasing is getting the better of him, not that he would ever admit to it. 

“What did I do today?” His words trail off as he lowers his face. Before he can stop himself, his lips find a home against your own without a second thought. 

. . .

No matter who he talks to, Kaeya A. always saves his gossip for you.

“That’s why Hertha left him.”

The time that you spend gossiping with Kaeya is time well spent, time that you deeply cherish. You can’t help but hang on to his every word, practically in his lap as you eat out of the palm of his hand. It’s a simple exchange really, priceless gossip for some sweet company. This time around, it’s Kaeya’s revelation that makes your jaw drop, and, despite his sultry voice, the rumors he shares are all you can focus on. 

“You’re kidding,” Gasps leave your lips as he continues to spill exactly what he knows and who told him. 

If only everyone loved hearing petty rumors and took them as if they came from the morning newspaper. Sadly, it can’t be the same for everyone. 

Diluc feels his eye twitch at the two familiar voices, hushed whispers that stand out amongst his crowded bar. He doesn’t even have to look over to see you and Kaeya with your bodies pressed incredibly close to one another. You’re nearly seating in his lap. The owner makes an exception, of course, because he’d do anything for his family. Family being you, not Kaeya. Diluc tries his best to stay on your good side, he’d hate for his brother’s partner to hate him. 

“Well, I heard from Donna that Hertha was the one who cheated-”

But if Diluc has to listen to the two of you gossip any longer, he might just rip his fiery hair out. Day in and day out, almost every night the two of you come here and talk for hours until he has to kick you both out. 

“Aren’t you a little busy bee? Did you find this out before coming here?” Kaeya softly coos into your ear, grinning at the embarrassed flush washing over you as you lean into his side. You place your chin in your hand as you lean over the bar, trying to wave down either Charles or Diluc for another drink. 

“If you want to hear my next story, you’re going to have to finish that,” You point at Kaeya’s drink, almost as if you’re offended by its presence. Your husband is pacing himself too much for your liking and you don’t want to be the only one off your ass.

Diluc notices Kaeya’s full glass too as he slowly pours you another, the owner isn’t a fool. He knows his brother better than anyone and knows that Kaeya is a gentleman through and through. You don’t often drink heavily when you spend time with either of them but, when you do, Kaeya is sure to keep his drinks lighter than usual. It is a show of affection that warms the redhead’s heart, not that he would ever admit it. Especially not to you and your loud mouth. 

You look so far gone that Diluc immediately scratches the idea of giving you another round. 

“Diluccc,” Your whine makes the older man sigh as he pulls back the wine bottle from your grasp. Despite your efforts to reach over and grab the liquid gold, you fail because of a certain someone. Someone with strong hands who tightly grip your waist to keep you from falling over and despite their cold touch, you start to feel incredibly hot. “Kaeya!” You’re drunk as shit.

“You’re cut off.” Diluc takes away both glasses of alcohol before moving on to another pair that is sitting at his bar. He ignores you despite all your cries. 

“No, but Diluc, you have to listen to this!”

. . .

Tighnari is an early riser and thoroughly enjoys getting you up in the mornings. 

This habit of his is not by choice but, is instead something that he can’t avoid. Every morning he wakes up just before the sun rises and stares at his ceiling before any existential dread kicks in. Even when he doesn’t need to be awake for patrol or for anything of importance, the man cannot sleep. 

Every morning, Tighnari gets a few seconds of peace before his entire body starts to ache. When his heart starts to feel a little too heavy, he simply rolls onto his side and looks at you. 

You’re always buried under the blanket, tugging on the material that is laid neatly across his lap. Each morning your face is pushed up against the many pillows you have so generously decorated his bed with and, Tighnari’s favorite aspect of your sleeping form, there’s always a little bit of drool spilling past the corner of your lips.

He lifts his bare hand to wipe away at your mouth, gently thumbing over the spot before catching it with his thumb. It’s cute how your nose twitches at the slightest touch, Tighnari almost coos. Once he finishes staring at you and tracing your features until his heart is content, the forest watcher will force himself to get up. 

His morning routine is very simple, get clean and ready for the day. Since Tighnari is the earlier riser of the two of you, he always does the favor of making breakfast. When he has the time, he’ll force you to eat a ka’ak or two before handing you your coffee. He’s not a fan of the smell but, he’ll do anything to see the excitement in your eyes upon the sight of your favorite mug in his hand. 

Tighnari doesn’t shy away from the fact that he adores you. Why would he?

Almost like a ritual, Tighnari fills up your cup with hot water, mixing in the coffee powder, before sprinkling in a natural enhancer. It makes the drink sweeter and easier to drink in his opinion. 

But sometimes, the sweetness gives him a toothache. He simply prefers not to drink it at all but that never stops him from bringing it back to your shared bed. 

With a light hand, he places the mug on your side table before sitting on the edge of the bed. Tighnari places his touch against your lower back before softly pressing his fingers into your skin. It wakes you up just enough that you start to squirm but, you are not fully awake yet. The smell of the coffee will inevitably wake you up, it always does. 

“(Y/N),” Tighnari and his soft voice call out to you like a light in a pitch-dark space. You instantly shift out of your slumber. “wake up.”

You swat at him with a groan and refuse to open your eyes. Every morning, it’s a battle with you. 

“Wake up.” Tighnari tries again and this time, it is firmer. You blink the sleep out of your eyes and force yourself to sit up in one go. Almost instantly, your facial expression morphs into one of a frown and Tighnari matches your glare. He’s not going to let you get off easy. “Come on,”

He gently tugs on your wrist and tries to help you up, to shake any lingering effects of sleep that still have a hold over you. You ultimately ignore him and choose to instead place a gentle kiss on his shoulder. 

Oh, how Tighnari loves his mornings with you. 

. . .

Xiao cherishes his shared evenings outdoors with you. For as long as he has known you, the yaksha has enjoyed being by your side and always finds comfort in your presence.

Today, the karmic debt that looms over him like an angry cloud doesn’t feel as demanding because of you. Sometimes when you touch him, it’s as if the pressure is gone and Xiao can finally breathe. But then, he has to protect Liyue all over again. 

And he’ll continue to give his life to it in order to keep you and the various others in his area safe. 

So incredibly safe that you can walk around at night with no worries, you’ve always admired the stars. 

“Are you ready?” You’re holding your hand out to him, a loose jacket hanging around your shoulders due to the night breeze. Xiao blinks and hesitantly places his hand in your own before you proceed to drag him around Dihua marsh. “Isn’t it nice out?” 

In his thin attire, Xiao wordlessly nods. The weather never matters much to him, he doesn’t feel too cold or too hot but, sometimes he gets uncomfortable. 

Right now, the air is perfect. The yaksha can admit it to himself and he almost closes his eyes to focus on the feeling. Whisps of wind fly past his ears and the feeling is too freeing, the burden on his shoulders feels lighter because of it. 

Under the delicate touch of your hand, the duty almost feels nonexistent. 

“What do you think?” 

Xiao almost forgets that you had been talking. You were explaining some situation about your coworker, how you think that she has a secret partner and refuses to tell you. Regardless of whether or not he was listening, Xiao has no idea what to say.

“Think?” He repeats and you can’t help the way that you start to laugh. You squeeze his hand (and by association, the strings of his heart) as you almost start to double over due to your laughter. Maybe it’s the clueless look on his face or the slight furrow of his brows that has you so amused. 

“You’re cute,” You gently wrap your arms around his bicep and press the muscle against your chest, both of your hands wrap around his own as you cuddle into his side. The new display of affection is nothing new, you always touch Xiao openly like this but, that doesn’t mean the yaksha is entirely used to it. Xiao nearly trips over his own two feet when he feels your cheek press into his arm. “well, do you think Yuhua has a boyfriend? You always know everything,”

Xiao bites on his own tongue to stop himself from admitting that he does not, in fact, know everything. Far from it but, he hates to let you down. In truth, he hasn’t been paying attention to the waitress closely. He has no idea what’s going on with her or her love life. 

“I’m not sure.” Slowly, he answers you as if he is gauging your reaction. To his surprise, you inevitably sigh before bringing your eyes up to the night sky. 

“That’s okay,” You comment and Xiao wants to ask if you really mean it. “I’ll let you know as soon as I find out. It will be soon!” He’s sure of it, with your determination, nothing stands in your way. The longer he stares at you and your soft features, the more Xiao feels something inside of him stir.

Under the bright light of the moon high in the sky, Xiao finds himself squeezing your hand back. 

. . .

2023/02/05 ♡

[doll-elvis]

I AGREE SO MUCH ABOUT CHILD BRIDE. i went into it knowing nothing about the author, and in the forward shes really emphasizing how crazily obsessed she was with priscilla so i guess i was expecting it to be a sympathetic view of her😭 definitely not. what is suzzanes problem dear lord. shes so convinced and desperate to tell you that priscilla was some evil teenaged succubus out for rockstar blood. jesus christ. like girl even if she actually was who gives a shit????? same goes for currie grant. i dont care if he showed the author concrete evidence on a golden platter that he was telling the truth. hes just such an obvious sleazeball. just disgusting……. and she dedicates like 300 chapters to him saying over and over again that he fucked 14yo priscilla and that she was into it. babe they couldve had a steamy decade-long affair and NOBODY would care because he is literally just some random creep ass loser 13 years older than her. and when it comes to his attempted rape of her hes literally like “no i didnt try to rape her i just [decribes attempting to rape her]”. i really dont know suzzanes backstory but she is insane.

but uh. anyways that aside i did enjoy parts of the book for the more in depth view of the story. like suzzanne has such intense bias that really shows throughout but even with that it was still a great way to understand some of the situations a little better… i wish elvis and me was a little more detailed but i can appreciate how and why it is. and i am strangely curious about the actual nature of priscilla and curries relationship (i dont think they ever had consensual sex but i do believe he attacked her before elvis left germany and that leaves me curious as to why she still hung around him afterwards... i.e. those pictures of her to send to elvis that he took)

sorry for the huge wall of text im just.... very .. intrigued? by the book? its just so bizarre and raises a lot of questions lol.

“Currie’s like “No I didn’t try to r*pe her I just [describes atttempting to r*pe her]”

YES THANK YOU!!

if I could, in my own words, summarize the transcript of the conversation between Priscilla & Currie it would be this ⬇️

Currie: I didn’t r*pe you

Priscilla: You forced yourself on me

Currie: I didn’t force anything, you just weren’t into it

Priscilla: So you didn’t try to kiss me?

Currie: Well yeah I was trying to kiss you, you just wouldn’t kiss me back. You were very cold

again that was just my own words so not the actual transcript but that is exactly what I got out of that conversation- which is Currie denying he forced anything on her while simultaneously describing just how unresponsive she was to his advances, so THANK YOU for articulating that perfectly

He is an absolute sleaze-ball as you said, and clearly did not realize he was incriminating himself throughout that whole exchange

like even if Currie’s version of the events were true (I highly doubt it), he still committed statutory r*pe. Perhaps Suzanne and him don’t understand the age of consent but a fourteen year old girl cannot consent to intercourse, so anything he may or may not have actually done to her is still R*PE, whether she seemed willing or not. I’m completely abhorred that a biographer would give a man like that such a large platform and not only that, but agree/go with the story he tells- I’m sickened by it

and god, his reasoning as to why he wouldn’t need to r*pe Priscilla is just the most insane thing I’ve ever read ⬇️

“I had at least ten girls that I could call any night and go have sex with them,” countered Currie. “I’m not bragging—at least ten. I didn’t need to rape anybody ”

excerpt is from “Child Bride” by Suzanne Finstad

okay like?? Ted Bundy had a longtime girlfriend and yet he still went out and s*xually assaulted and murdered women… what’s your point, Currie?

what also bothers me is that Suzanne Finstad is sitting on the full audio tapes of that conversation between Priscilla and Currie, and knowing her history of misquoting people and writing things that don’t line up with other testimonies, I wouldn’t be surprised in the very least if parts of that tape have been conveniently left out, or transcribed wrong, as she converted it from audio to text

like the whole 1961 photoshoot, as you mentioned, is something that I just wish I could hear Priscilla explain for herself

Priscilla Presley and Currie Grant in 1961

It does raise the question if what she said transpired was true why would she ever want to be alone with Currie again, and better yet, why would Elvis willingly put her in a situation like that?

Especially when he was aware of the attempted r*pe ⬇️

MARTY LACKER: “There was a guy who used to bring Priscilla around to Elvis’s house some, over there in Germany. He would take her home to her parents’ place, and then he’d go back to the barracks. Well, he was a scumbag. He was using cute little girls to get into the house, to be around Elvis. And he tried to put the make on Priscilla one night when he took her home. She says in her book that he tried to rape her. But he didn’t succeed. Elvis told us about it, himself”

excerpt is from “Elvis and the Memphis Mafia” by Alanna Nash

The only explanation in my mind that makes sense is that perhaps Currie Grant was Elvis’ only remaining contact in Germany- or at least the only person in contact with Priscilla- and since he was so desperate to see her again, maybe thought that the reward outweighed the risk

And obviously a 15-year-old Priscilla was still reeling over him leaving Germany and would likely agree to anything to please him…plus since it was Elvis who asked Currie to take the photos, maybe she thought if Elvis trusted him to do that, she could trust him as well ?

And although I doubt she intended too, Suzanne inadvertently said something similar when trying to do one of those logical fallacies that she does throughout the duration of “Child Bride” ⬇️

“Priscilla, despite her claim that Currie tried to rape her, was thrilled to oblige, “desperate” for word from Elvis, through Currie”

excerpt is from “Child Bride” by Suzanne Finstad

I feel like Suzanne is basically answering the dilemma herself despite her attempt to point out the inconsistency in Priscilla’s behavior (her being afraid of Currie, but also being around him)

Priscilla was willing to be photographed by her attempted assaulter as she was desperate for contact from Elvis and Currie just happened to be that link between them

and I have to say, my original response to the ask that I received about “Child Bride” was something that I was worried about posting as many of the more passionate anti-Priscilla crowd tend to treat it like it’s their Bible but WHEW- I am beyond relieved that so many people have also seen just how outrageous that book is, especially the narrative that Suzanne Finstad goes with- like as you said, trying to make a fourteen-year-old Priscilla out to be some “teenaged succubus” LMAOOO (that took me out 💀)

I honestly consider myself to be Priscilla-neutral despite what some people assume of me based on some my posts 🤧 and so because of that, I am very open to reading and discussing the valid criticisms against her HOWEVER- I have no time in my day to take someone like Currie Grant seriously so that is why the first half of “Child Bride” (chapters about Germany and what fourteen-year-old Priscilla may or may not have done) are just what ruin the whole book for me

And it’s a shame because again, there are some very valid things that Suzanne points out about Priscilla, especially the things that were left out of “Elvis and me”; like her inconsistencies in recalling certain events, her sometimes questionable character (treatment of others), her possible greed (suing and more suing) and the biggest one to me- her involvement in Scientology… but all of that is just dampered by Suzanne’s god awful commentary and god awful judgement

also girl please do not apologize for sending this in- I sincerely thank you for adding to the conversation about this book as I think these kinds of discussions are so beneficial and I’m just truly grateful to be able to have them with y’all- I’ve fr learned so much from your guys’ insight

and since there is such a surplus of information about Elvis (and Priscilla), I feel like the best way to navigate through it all is by breaking it down like this, and so if y’all ever want to talk about another book feel free to send in your thoughts <3!!!

[minquiec]

My 5k word essay on why I like bringing pain and suffering to the two idiots I love dearly (A thesis)

[alternative title being: me ranting abt jipunk for 2 hours straight im kiddingg]

So like

At this point I'm pretty sure most people can tell I enjoy pulling angst out of nowhere for absolutely NO reason necessary other than pain heeheehaahaa well it ain't gonna stop 😁 CAUSE TRUST THAT I will make sure every au I ever make of these two end in numbingly tragic angst one way or the other 🦅 jkjk they won't all be that bad it'll just have varying degrees of sadness

Anyways

I actually do have a reason for never giving them a happy (canonical or implied) happy ending ☝️ the thing abt me is every detail or like choice I make in character design/relationship/etc is that it's always intentional (most of the time) like there's always some kind of corny reason behind it bc I'm jwndkwjd insane and just think too hard abt two characters that don't even exist.

So like so like

I am an absolute loser for tropes like 'in another life' or 'in every life' or just anything among those lines. Like genuinely it does smth irreparable to my brain it's not even funny.

And basically the thought process for jipunk was like they're LITERALLY from different universes which quite literally means they can't end up together bc it's just not possible. But tbh the whole multiverse logic and how it works is up to interpretation cause y'know it's just a movie but personally I see it as smth pretty impossible for lore sake and stuff HAHSHA

So because the 'original' jipunk (atsv versions) can't end up together, I decided to go and think

"HMM."

"WHAT IF THEY ARE THE EPITOME OF 'ill find you in every universe" BUT EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM END IN THE SAME WAY (never ending up tgt)"

Cause for the different au's each of them is technically a different reincarnate in different worlds with different lives.

And like going back to when I said varying levels of sadness: what I meant was in some aus they'll be literally universes apart (which in itself is already sad asf) but in other aus they could live in the same world but their lives are like perpendicular lines because they'll meet and then never cross paths again (BECAUSE this is what their fate is supposed to be if we base it off their atsv counter parts: they were never meant to be bc they're from different universes)

BUT DONT KILL ME YET BC

technically

teccchnicaalllllyyy

In the long run they do have a happy ending

(longass run bru)

So there isn't a proper timeline for which universes 'happen first' bc that just doesn't make sense but

The modern au where it has the convenience store

Is their happy ending

Endgame au fr

Cause if you think abt it right (this is a headcanon), hb isn't the type of person to fall in love based on looks.

Yet in the modern au he ends up crushing on a silly little employee of the convenience store he goes to.

And like it's just this pull he can't understand for the life of him??? Cause it feels so shallow to him to like someone bc he thinks their pretty

Little does he know

So after they get tgt in the modern au, I'm thinking of this one moment where he kind of figures it out/sort of/not really but he is just like

"idk what it is but it feels like I've spent lifetimes with you"

BECAUSE YOU HAAAAAAVE@)$()2(# AAAAAAUEGEGHHEGEG JM SOBBING

HE SAYS IT BC HE REALIZES HIS SOUL IS JUST SO COMFORTABLE WITH HER PRESENCE ALMOST LIKE ITS GOTTEN USED TO IT SINCE A LONG LONG TIME AGO

And I realized just now but omfg the comic I made where he drunk confess and goes 'I liked you first'

HES LITERALLY BEEN LIKING HER FIRST IN THEIR FIRST LIFE (ATSV) IM GOING TO FUCKIGNNEF THROIWN UP

Soulmates idc idc IDCCCC

Took the quote I love you in every lifetime and RAAAAANNNN WITH IT

I enjoy tragic love stories tm

This isn't delusion anymore this is derangement

They r so dear to me

They are my kdramas, they are my bridgerton, they are my therapy this is how I cope.