#they need to move past what they all think they know of each other

[lostbookmark]

MDNI 🔞

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Finding Masterlist here

Summary: After a failed engagement, you move back home and reconnect with your friends. Maybe, just maybe you can find love with someone you never expected.

Pairing: Yoongi x F. Reader

Warnings: Explicit Sex, Swearing, Cheating (Not Yoongi), Fighting, Protected/Unprotected Sex, Toxic Past Relationship,

Genre: Enemies(?) to Lovers, Neighbors to Lovers, Small Town romance. Hurt-Comfort, Slight Angst, Romance

SMUT!

Jungkook, Jimin, and Tae all stood around you as you held a small mason jar that was filled to the brim of jelly in your hands. You had spent all evening following your grandmother's recipe carefully. You had read through it so many times that you probably had it memorized before you even started cooking, but you were still careful and followed it step by step. You watch as each man smeared some red jam on a piece of your freshly baked bread that you made that morning. Chewing carefully, they looked thoughtful as they took in the flavors. They looked at each other. It was like they were having a silent conversation with their eyes that they only understood. You'll take it as a good sign.

“It's good,” Jimin said with a little awe in his voice.

“It's really good,” Jungkook said as he put more on his slice of bread and shoved it in his mouth.

“This is exactly what I was looking for, Y/N. How many different flavors do you think you can do?” Tae asked.

“I'm not sure,” you say. “Her stack of recipes is quite large.”

“Uh oh,” Jimin whispered, and all your eyes shot to look at him. “Yoongi's only member and president of his fan club is here.”

“I bet he's happy,” Tae says sarcastically.

You turn around, peeking around the corner, and see a pretty woman at the front of The Tannie Farms tent. She was playing with a strand of her hair as she leaned toward Yoongi, who was trying to be nice earlier and offered to watch the front so the guys could try your jam. You can feel your stomach drop while watching them. He didn't look interested, but that didn't stop the jealousy from kicking in.

You and Yoongi have done a good job at avoiding each other since the bathroom incident. He was still cordial and gave you a slight head nod if you ran into each other, but that was about it. Neither one of you actually attempted to start a conversation or let your looks linger very long. You can feel the heat start to creep up into your cheeks, remembering how you pressed yourself against him. You certainly remember it at night when you're alone in bed that still rests on the floor.

“I know what happened?” Jimin whispered in your ear, knocking you back into reality. He handed you a piece of paper that looked like a test page from a printer. “Maybe you can return the favor and help him out. I think his girlfriend needs him to sign this.”

“What? No, she's flirting with him. I don't want to get in the way,” you hissed.

“He doesn't like her,” Tae says. “She is a teacher at the middle school. We talked with her class about greenhouses, and she's been drooling after him since. He usually runs and hides when he sees her.”

Jimin makes a shoo-ing motion with his hand as he turns back to his friends and continues to eat. You sigh and take a deep breath. You were never a good actress, and you think that she will probably see right through you.

One…two…three.

“Yoongs, babe, we really need you to sign this,” you tell him as you press yourself into his side and hand him the paper. Yoongi looks down at you with wide eyes, confusion swirling in his dark brown orbs. You swear you hear laughing from behind the tent. Have you mentioned that you need different friends? “Yoongi, sign…please.”

Yoongi looks at the paper and then back at you. You smile at him innocently and blink your eyes with a purpose. You think it finally clicks as he grabs the pen from behind his ear and puts his signature sloppily on the white paper. You turn your attention to the woman glaring daggers at you. You notice that she definitely undid a couple of buttons from her top.

“Hi, I'm Y/N. You are?” You ask her with a pleasant smile on your face.

“Sana, I'm a friend of Yoongi's,” she tells you with a smirk. Oh, she was that type of woman. Game on, baby.

“No, you're not,” he said, handing the paper back to you. Sana's smirk falters a little bit. You wrap your arms around his waist, and you feel him stiffen.

“Oh, well, this is awkward. I'm his girlfriend,” you tell her as you stroke your hand across his chest, making her smirk finally drop. “I've never heard of you before… strange. I need to get back, but you have a wonderful day.”

You look at Yoongi, pursuing your lips. You want to see if he was willing to play along. He didn't move. Moving your finger to your lips, you tap them with your finger, indicating what you wanted. Slowly, he leaned down and pressed his lips to yours. Your arms go around his neck, and his hand comes up to rest on your hips. You're not surprised to find that his lips were a little chapped as you always saw him licking at them…not that you ever paid that close of attention to him. You pull away when you hear Sana clear her throat. You smile at her as she glares harder at you.

“It was nice to meet you,” you tell her and walk away.

Your three friends start clapping when you get back to them. Your eyes zero in on the mason jar and see they finished off the jam. You shake your head at them as you continue to look at your empty jar, and they just shrug their shoulders.

“We're growing boys,” Jungkook said, handing the small glass container back to you.

"You're all grown men,” you correct him and take it from his hand. “How did you eat it so fast?”

“You three get back out there,” Yoongi tells them, and they scatter fast. “What was that?” he asks you.

“They told me to do it,” you defend yourself. “They ate all the jam and bread. I wanted you to try it.”

“Don't change the subject,” he tells you, crossing his arms.

“They said you didn't like her. Consider it me owing you one after…you know …. nakedness.” You say quietly.

“Don't worry about it. I didn't see anything,” he mumbled, turning red.

“Maybe, you can stop by tonight? I can rectify this whole thing,” you say as you play with the empty jar. Yoongi gives you a double take. It takes him a few seconds before he nods his head dumbly at you in agreement. “Great, I'll be waiting.”

You didn't actually expect Yoongi to show up. You were finishing up a bigger batch of the strawberry, raspberry combo jelly for next weekend when there was a knock at your kitchen door. You give Yoongi a small smile and wave him in. You noticed that he had changed since that morning. Gone were the baggier jeans and flannel shirt. He changed into more fitted jeans and a white tee-shirt that fit perfectly on him. His hair looked like it might be slightly damp as if he just got out of the shower. He looked good, he looked…confused?

“What?” You ask him as you transfer the steaming pot to a cooling rack.

“You made jam?” he really was confused. “I, I thought,” he can't seem to finish his thought. “I'm such an idiot. I’m just gonna go.”

“Wait, don't go,” you say hurriedly. “ I wanted you to try this, and I also wanted to apologize for what happened on Sunday for real. I mean, even though you were the one to barge into my bathroom. “

“You were screaming,” he defended himself. “How was I supposed to know you were naked laying in the tub?”

“So you did look. You liar,” you said, pointing your finger at him.

“You jumped on me,” he yelled, stepping closer to you. “How could I have missed it.”

“You could have closed your eyes,” you step to him. You are so close to him that you're almost touching him. “You probably got off on it.”

His eyes turned to slits. A heated gaze burns its way through you as Yoongi bends down. Your faces are level, and you suddenly start to breathe a little heavier. Yoongi's stare drops to your lips as he runs his tongue over his own. You follow its movement with wide eyes and swallow hard.

“What if I did?” he whispers, tilting his head to the side. Your heart stops, wondering if you had heard him correctly.

“Yoongi,” you whisper his name, but you think it may have come out as a whimper.

His gaze darkens, and a smirk crosses his face. Yoongi leans in the rest of the way and grazes his lips against your own. He's giving you a chance to pull away. To tell him to stop and you think that you should, but you don’t…you can't. His eyes meet yours again before he claims your lips fully. Lips press firmly against your own as his hands pull your body completely against him. His hold on your hips is tight and needy. His tongue sneaks out and licks your bottom lip, asking for you to open for him. You do, your tongues crashing together like you were fighting for dominance. His hand lightly twists in your hair, tilting your head back, giving him all the access that he needs to plunder your mouth with his talented tongue rolling against yours. You let him have control.

“I haven't stopped thinking about you,” he growls into your neck, nipping at the sensitive skin, causing it to turn slightly pink after he pulls away from your swollen lips. “The feeling of you pressed against me all wet. The way your hands grabbed on to me. I can't get it out of my head.”

You push him away, and he stumbles back in shock. He has to grab your kitchen chair to stop from tripping over and falling onto his ass. You snatch the bottom of your shirt, hastily pull it over your head, and chuck it at him. He catches it, rubbing the material between his fingers as his gaze roams your newly exposed skin. Dropping the shirt onto the floor, he grabs the back of your head, bringing you to him once again. He doesn't waste any time kissing you and pulling your cotton shorts down your thighs, letting them drop to the floor. You kick them away with your foot and reach around to unhook your bra, pulling it off yourself.

“Fuck,” he groans, appreciating the newly exposed skin. Yoongi lifts you by grabbing the back of your thighs and sitting you on the counter. It's cold and you squeal at the sudden temperature change. “Sorry,” he grunts, tearing his own shirt off over his head. “I'll warm you up in a minute.”

His hands work quickly to remove his belt. His eyes never leave your panting figure as you sit and wait for him. You press your legs together as he finally drops his pants and steps out of them. He leaves his underwear on. You're slightly disappointed, but you guess it's only fair. You have yours on, too. Yoongi steps to you and grabs the back of your knees as he pulls your bottom to the edge of the counter. Your legs spread open around his hips, and he steps in between them. Tongues meet again as his hands roam every inch or your naked skin, attempting to take the chill away from your body. Yoongi drops his kisses down across your jaw and lowers his head, kissing a wet path further down until he takes your nipple in his mouth. Teeth lightly bite down, making your arch your back. Your breasts press further in his face, and it has him moaning into them. Yoongi's hand slides over the side of your neck and to your breast, cupping the fullness. His fingers plucking at your hardened nipple on your neglected breast have your hips rolling against his flat stomach, seeking that delicious friction. One of your hands goes into his hair, moving his hair off his face, and your other grabs the cabinet handle as you try to keep yourself upright.

You shiver noticeably as goosebumps break out over your skin as he teeth graze your other nipple. Standing straight, he pulls you flush against him, sharing his body heat. Your tits are smashed against his chest as he wraps his arms securely around you. His breathing has seemed to pick up just as much as yours has. He stares into your eyes for a moment like he’s checking for an answer to an unasked question. Whatever it was, he seemed satisfied as he picked you up from the counter. Yoongi turns and lays you gently on your wobbly kitchen table, pulling you so your ass is at the edge. You ignore the cold shock this time as you reach between your legs and grab the waistband of his underwear, tugging at them

“Is that what you want?” he chuckles, and you nod your head rapidly. “You have to say it. Tell me what you want.”

“I want it,” you tell him and tilts his head to the side studying you. He smirks and laughs at you.

“I don't know what ‘it’ is,” he teases you. His hands run slowly up your thighs, fingers hooking into your very damp panties as he pulls them down your legs. He throws them over his shoulder and spreads your legs open wide. He licks his first two fingers and runs them back and forth over your sensitive clit gently making you hiss between your teeth. “Tell me.”

“I want you to fuck me,” you moan, your hips start to move against his fingers. You wish he would put more pressure on your excited bundle of nerves. “Yoongi, I want your cock.”

That one seemed to do it for him. He spreads your burning core open with his opposite hand, his fingers slowly entering your wet entrance. You sigh at the sensation, but it's not enough. You spread your knees as far as you can,trying to get him deeper. He huffs out a laugh and swiftly bends his head down licking your clit only once before moving his head away. Your hips jump on their own and your hands delve into his hair trying to keep him there. His tongue traces an invisible line on your thigh and pumps his fingers into you faster.

“I knew you would like this. Listen to how wet you are,” he smirks against the soft skin of your inner thigh as watches his own fingers fuck you.

He was right. You were dripping wet. The wet, squelching noises sounded so loud in your quiet kitchen as he worked his magic. It sounded so obscene. You moan. It's been so long since you felt like this. The wanting, neediness of the lust and desire that you have lacked for years. In fact, you’re not even sure that you have ever felt like this. You have yearned for this, and you couldn't believe that Yoongi was the one to give it to you.

“Please, please, lick it again,” you beg wantingly, hips squirming around. Changkyun never did this. He never did a lot of things.

Yoongi doesn't hesitate and dives in. His tongue is unrelenting on your clit, flicking it back and forth with rapid strokes. He pulls his fingers out of you so he can push your legs back by the back of your thighs. It leaves you completely open and utterly exposed to his feasting. His insistent tongue changes pace as he draws achingly slow circles around you. The teasing has you squirming to get closer to his mouth. He takes pity on you and he rests your legs on his shoulders. His skillful tongue works its way into you. This is a whole new spine tingling sensation that you have never felt before. You reach down, taking his hands into your own. Slowly you bring them up to your body so he can grab your breasts. He groans into your pussy as his hands squeeze your tits. Your legs start to shake around his head. Your insides start to tingle and tighten until it suddenly stops.

Pulling back, Yoongi places one more kiss on your clit. You're mad. You were so close and he took that away from you. You were about to voice your displeasure until you watched him lean down and grab his pants. Reaching into his pocket, you see him produce a square foil packet. Yanking down his own underwear, you watch as his hardened cock slaps his stomach as it springs free. He rips open the condom and watches you laid out before him as he slides it on. Leaning over your body he kisses you once more on the mouth,

“How old is this table?” He asks seriously.

“Old,” you tell him, and he nods his head like he expected that answer.

Pulling you off the table, he guides you back to the counter. He presses your front against the granite. Grabbing your hips he pulls them back and he presses his hard cock against your ass, grinding it against you. You roll your hips back further making him groan in pleasure. Yoongi gently places kisses across the naked skin of your shoulder and the back of your neck. Trailing his tongue up the side of your neck, he bites your ear lobe.

“Are you sure you want this?” He asks softly in your ear.

“Yes,” your voice was breathy.

“Fuck,” he whispers. “Okay.”

Yoongi bends you further forward, making your ass pop up more as you are forced to stand on your tippy toes. Reaching between the two of you, Yoongi runs his cock along your pussy before he slowly starts to enter you. You can hear him let out a shuddering breath. He holds still and grips your hips tightly.

“Did he ever fuck you?” he asked you, his voice tight. You nod your head yes and he laughs lightly. “Didn't do a fucking good job then.”

With a quick thrust, Yoongi was buried all the way in you. You moan loud as your hand reaches up and grabs that cabinet handle again, holding on for dear life. Looking over your shoulder, you see Yoongi swipe at his forehead. He must be just as affected as you were. You push your ass back onto him, and his eyes fly to you. Biting your bottom lip, you smile at him and nod. Yoongi places his hands on your shoulders as his hips roll against your ass making your body rhythmically rock forward.

Your head falls forward loosely as you take in the sensation of him inside of you. The way his hands grip your shoulders, keeping control of your body. His thrusts start to speed up, and the counter edge starts to dig into your stomach. You don't care, though. He feels too good.

“Harder, Yoongi,” you gasp.

His hands come down, fingertips trace down your back and grab at your waist, pulling you back against him to meet every thrust. Your body starts to surge forward faster as his hips snap into you as he picks up the pace of his strokes. Sounds of slapping skin pierces the air in your kitchen as your bottom meets his pelvis over and over again. Your eyes start to roll back. Sex has never….and I mean never been this good.

Yoongi pulls out of you and grabs the back of your knee. Swiftly, he brings your leg up to rest on top of the counter. Thrusting himself back into you with a groan and a curse, his hand races down the front of your body over your hip until his fingers land on your clit. Skilled fingers start circling your overly sensitive bud.

“Oh, shit,” you moan and rest your face against the back of your hand.

“I know, I know,” he says breathlessly, continuing his relentless pace. Your heartbeat starts to quicken, your toes start to curl, and the delicious heat begins to spread across your body, making your skin flush. “Look at you, shit.”

“Yoongi,” you whimper.

Your walls start to clench around him as his fingers still work on your clit. Your hand drops down to stop him. He stops the circling and presses against it firmly instead as his cock still works its way in and out of you. Your eyes squeeze shut, your body tenses. You gasp.

“Shit, shit, shit,” Yoongi grunts, giving you one more hard thrust. He stills, and your walls continue to clench around him, milking him for all he's worth.

Dropping his head onto your shoulder, he catches his breath before pulling out of you. Carefully, he places your lifted leg back on the ground. His hand lightly rubs at the knee that was pressed against the granite counter, holding your weight. You stay bent over your counter, afraid to look at him. You don't know what to do now.

“You okay?” He asks, kissing your shoulder.

“Perfect,” you answer.

You look over your shoulder at him, and he smiles at you. For the first time…you truly smile back.

Tagged Readers:

@mar-lo-pap, @bontensbabygirl , @daisies-and-dandelionpuffs , @redragdoll, @svnbangtansworld , @wobblewobble822 , @busanbby-jjk , @pitchblack0309 , @bluesiebirdie

[starbylers]

How much of “El” was actually in Will’s van speech, why this scene does NOT point to him letting Mike go, and what we actually know about Will's arc/Byler because of it

I know everyone jokes about the Will crying in the van shot so we sometimes forget how serious of a moment that was but like…..he was devastated. It’s always bothered me when people act as though this scene was about El in any genuine way, and that the message to take away is that Will is accepting Mike and El love each other and starting to move on. Both of these things couldn’t be further from the truth, they’re just convenient interpretations to fit a certain narrative.

In reality, Will assumed what El feels because he loves Mike, and that’s how he feels. There was no conversation between him & El, nothing Will ever witnessed, for him to determine that Mike "makes her feel like she’s better for being different”, that that helps her "fight". It’s what El wanted to feel from Mike, but she clearly didn’t (“You think I’m a monster too”). We never see Mike uplift her for her differences throughout the entire time they're dating, and then in s4 El gets a plot about feeling like she doesn't fit in (“I am different”) and actively lies to Mike about it ??? So...when exactly does Mike make her feel like she's "not a mistake at all"? El doesn't even feel safe giving him the opportunity, in fact she actively refuses to repeatedly: lying in her letters, asking Angela to lie to Mike at the rink, in their fight when he tries to understand & she tells him he doesn't. (And then when he tries in the monologue to use the sentiment “I love you for exactly who you are” etc.…she loses.)

And aside from that, explaining the painting and its meaning was the most blatant lie we see Will tell, and that’s all him. El didn't say all these wonderful things she loves about Mike, didn't create a gift inspired by something personal to Mike (DnD) to emphasise that message. Those were Will’s thoughts and feelings, unquestionably. There is nothing to suggest that El perceives Mike in that way ("the heart", "guiding the party, inspiring us", "without [you] we'd all fall apart"), that she understands Mike and knows exactly what to say to make him feel important, special and needed, that she loves him the way Will loves him (which just coincidentally happens to encompass exactly what Mike needs to hear to soothe his insecurities (“I’m just some random nerd” etc.)). And frankly even if we pretend El thinks the exact same things, Will was the one who did the work to make Mike happy. The idea that El should be able to coast on the efforts of someone else because "well she obviously feels the same way" (where ???) is kind of disturbing. Mike deserves better, and it makes no sense that the writers would narratively reward a love interest who put no effort into showing how much Mike is valued vs one who went above and beyond to make him feel loved.

That speech only applied to El insofar as Will sprinkles in "these past months she's been lost without you", "she's so different from other people", "we'd all fall apart, even El, especially El" and "if she was mean to you/seemed like she was pushing you away". Not because El said any of this, but because it's plausible for Will to come to these conclusions on his own and think he's correct (and even be partially correct). He knows El was doing awful in Lenora because she is different, he knows she's part of the group and has experienced Mike's leadership, he knows she fought with Mike and then left him. All of these things also affect him - he missed Mike's friendship while they were separated, he's different because of his sexuality, he's part of the group too, he "sabotaged" the day in Mike's eyes after not reaching out much and we know he's scared of losing Mike due to his feelings.

But the rest? "Of course she needs you Mike, she'll always need you", "You make her feel like she's not a mistake, like she's better for being different and that gives her the courage to fight", "if she [...] was pushing you away, it's just because she's scared of losing you" (I do think that one's partially true but Will wouldn't know beyond a guess), “if she was gonna lose you I think she’d want to get it over with quick", "El needs you and she always will” (and of course "El commissioned it" and the compliments he gives after)...who is Will to make those claims? He doesn't know how El feels, he didn't even know El was lying to Mike, she clearly doesn't confide in Will about her relationship. No, these things are all Will guessing/outright lying and letting his own feelings slip through. And just in general outside of Will, El hasn’t done/said anything elsewhere in the show to confirm that she feels any of this (in fact it was de-confirmed, in the case of the “better for being different” stuff).

Essentially, it’s all just Will's assumptions about El, some of which are based in reality and some of which are Will projecting. But most importantly, the reassurance and comfort he gives (the painting stuff) in response to Mike talking disparagingly about himself are Will and no-one else, and part of the most blatant lie he tells (“she told me what to draw [...] your coat of arms, it's a heart [...] without heart we'd fall apart”) is specifically what is called back to to push Mike into confessing!

Now, the idea of Will "accepting the reality" of Mike loving El is so ridiculously irrelevant. Will was heartbroken after he did what he did, this boy was literally sobbing out the window, but the whole reason he does is because he fully 100% believes Mike loves El. He knows, people! He spends the entire season giving Mike advice and pushing him towards her. Why would Will need to "accept" something he's been actively supporting before and during this scene? In his mind it's fully unrequited and he's operating within that reality in the most selfless, helpful, unobstructive way! He's not in denial, he has no hope.

What they really mean is he needs to move on and that this scene is somehow an indication that he is, but again, no: "[I] need you, and [I] always will" is Will's final projection before he cries his eyes out, and then later on we see him miserably staring at them again. The fact is, Will has accepted his "reality", that just didn't lead to him getting over Mike. No, it led to him sacrificing something he poured his heart into to save Mike’s relationship because he thinks that what will make Mike happy is to be with El, so he's making that happen. He is a bigger M!leven shipper than anyone. He still loves Mike, shows no signs of letting go, but he's just that selfless. And it's perfect, because no amount of knowing Mike loves El seems to change how much Will loves Mike. Incredibly inconvenient for a "plot" that relies on the gay character’s silly feelings magically disappearing out of reverence for a het couple and their deep soulmate love……

But this is why some people try to invent an imaginary arc where Will was somehow trying to get in the way of M!leven/had hope Mike could feel the same way, because otherwise you just get: Will likes Mike, knows it's hopeless, and then it randomly fizzles out lmao. Everyone knows that's not an arc; there's no change, no development, nothing learned. Plus, if Will is already in full acceptance of M!leven endgame…what’s next seaon's alleged rejection going to do/change? Nothing, Will’s feelings aren’t dependent on Mike reciprocating as has been shown, so the only purpose would be rubbing salt in the wound. And again, you end up with not an arc but a flat, depressing line. Will likes Mike, knows it's hopeless, has it painfully reaffirmed that yes it is hopeless, and then fizzle. If you know stories you know this makes zero sense, and therefore is not happening 👍

[bueckersstuff]

REMEMBER

Click here for chapter: 1 & 2

Chapter 3: Forgotten Faces, Remembered Pain

Paige's POV

I grew up here in Minnesota, living what seemed like a perfect life until I left for college in Connecticut three years ago. Good family, solid school, a career I was proud of, the best friends anyone could ask for. I had everything I could have dreamed of. Or at least, I thought I did. But then, a certain someone walked back into my life, and now I realized—time doesn’t heal anything. You just get used to carrying the weight of what hurts for a lot longer than you should.

It all started when I was twelve, discovering my love for basketball. My dad used to bring me to this basketball court just down the street to practice, sometimes for hours. We’d always end up at the local convenience store, grabbing snacks—he’d stock up on chips while I picked out ice cream. I still remember that day. I grabbed my usual chocolate ice cream, lined up to pay, and that’s when I heard it.

"No! What you gave me is a dollar short! I can count!" A girl’s voice, sharp with frustration, cutting through the air. I turned, half expecting some kind of mistake, but she was standing there, arguing with the cashier, insisting on the right change.

I couldn’t help it—my eyes met hers, and she shoved the receipt into my face, her little face demanding validation.

"You know math? Tell me I’m right, and she’s wrong."

I had to laugh. I looked at the cashier, then back at her. "Yeah, you’re right." Though I was laughing, I actually glanced at the receipt and she was, indeed, right.

She flashed that cocky grin of hers, so smug. "See? Told you I’m right."

That was just the beginning.

She started following me around, asking questions, poking into my life, telling me she had no friends, she was bored all the time. I didn’t even know why I let her in, but I did. So, I told her, "If you want to waste time, you can come watch me practice. You live around here, right?" She had mentioned earlier that she lives nearby.

"Yeah, that works," she replied, smirking. "I can waste time and practice my math by counting your scores. That is, if you can score."

That was her way of challenging me.

Five years. Five years we spent inseparable, like we couldn’t exist without each other. And then, the world broke apart.

One day, she came to practice with bloodshot eyes, her face red and blotchy from crying. Before I could even ask, she blurted out, her voice cracking:

"I’m leaving Minnesota. Mom says it’s for work, and we’ll be back sooner than I think."

She started sobbing uncontrollably. "I don’t want to leave. I can’t leave you here alone."

I was speechless. My world was spinning, and I didn’t know how to respond. I couldn’t wrap my mind around it.

"If that’s what the adults want, there’s nothing we can do about it, right?" I muttered, trying to ease the tension. "We can still talk on video calls, and you’ll be back before you know it."

But what about what I wanted?

"No!" she screamed. "If I leave, you’ll forget about me. You’ll find new friends!"

I could hear the panic in her voice, and it drove a sharp pain into my chest. "I won’t. I promise. It’s just us two, forever and ever."

And then she was gone.

For two years, we kept in touch, but as soon as I moved to Connecticut for college, things started to unravel. The calls grew less frequent, the arguments more intense. Silence followed, suffocating silence. No texts, no calls. Just emptiness.

I thought she was living her best life—at least, that’s what her social media told me. She seemed happy, thriving. But where did that leave me? Did "forever and ever" mean nothing? Was I just another part of her past, fading away?

I moved on, or so I told myself. I threw myself into my studies, my career. But still, there were nights when I found myself searching for her name, staring at her photos, wondering what had happened. Longing. Disappointment. Anger. Then confusion. Why was I still so obsessed? She left me all alone, even when I needed her the most. When I suffered an injury while playing my sport, I thought she’d be there for me, but I was wrong. I admit, I reached out to her, sending messages here and there—but maybe that was just my vulnerability talking. In the end, it didn’t matter. The lowest point of my life wasn’t even worth her time.

And then, there she was. Standing in front of me. But she was... different. Not in a good way. Something about her seemed so out of place. Her whole aura had changed. What happened to her?

It’s been a week since that first encounter, and I’m running errands for Drew. I roll my eyes—he’s got the audacity to ask me to get ice cream for him. As I’m perusing the different flavors, out of the corner of my eye, I see him.

Steve.

The shock is immediate, but the look on his face is worse. He’s more stunned than I am. But why is that? Am I not supposed to see him anymore?

"Paige? Long time no see! What are you doing here? I thought you were in Connecticut?"

My heart skips a beat. He keeps tabs on me?

"I’m on a break. Gonna head back tomorrow though, classes start soon. It’s good to see you again, Steve." I try to sound calm, but it’s hard when my mind is still reeling. "How’s Emma?"

His face contorts, and I see a flicker of pain—something I haven’t seen before, and it sends a sharp pang through me.

"Emma’s gone. Just three months ago."

The words crash into me like a wrecking ball. What? Emma’s dead?

I don’t know what to say. My mouth goes dry. "Oh my god. I’m so sorry. How are you holding up?"

"We’re fine now, I guess. But the last three months have been hell. Losing Emma... and then having my daughter almost..." He trails off, his voice cracking. "I’m just thankful my daughter got lucky."

My stomach drops. "What do you mean?"

"I came here with my daughter. You haven’t seen her yet?" he asks, and the words send a shiver through me.

Oh, I've seen her, but then she disappears again for the rest of the week.

"But maybe even if you did, she won’t remember you," he adds, his voice tinged with sadness.

I freeze. What?

"She’s suffering from a temporary memory loss from the accident, Paige."

She forgot me? She forgot about us?

The ice cream Steve is holding shakes slightly in his hands, and I suddenly realize I’m staring at it. "Is that for her? That’s her favorite."

"Yeah. I’m hoping it’ll help her remember, you know?" Steve’s voice breaks, and it feels like the weight of everything is pressing in on me.

I don’t know why I say it, but it spills out before I can stop myself.

"I want to help. Make her remember."

I must be crazy.

He looks at me, surprised but grateful. "You would? That means a lot to me, Paige."

He pauses for a moment, his eyes a little distant, before continuing. "I’ve been thinking about it for a while now—about sending her back to school. The doctors think getting back into a routine could help her. They said it might spark something, help her remember what she loved." He exhales, his voice wavering slightly. "I’ve been struggling with whether or not it's the right time, but... I think it might be the only way."

I barely hear him as my mind races. "She can attend to mine. Transfer her. She can join the swimming team. She still swims, right?"

Or maybe I'm just out of my fucking mind.

"Yes!" Steve’s face lights up. "That’s actually a great idea. I’ll start processing her papers next week."

She needs to remember. Because when she finally looks me in the eye and says sorry, it won’t be some empty apology. It’ll be real.

She’ll remember me. She has to.

Chapter 4 setting's gonna be at Uconn. More interactions and stuff!! <3

Taglist: @authentic-girl03 @unadulteratedcyclepaper @0phantom0 @sjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj

[sellasstories]

UNFOLD (I)

word count: 2.0k

main characters: cameron brink, hailey van lith

⚠️warnings⚠️

swearing

summary:

cam’s guide to making friends at the fiba U17 world cup (don’t do as she does, though)

hailey’s guide to getting a best friend at the fiba U17 world cup and then helping said friend make other friends

obligatory background pazzi

Cameron Brink is sixteen years old, and it’s nothing like she thought it was going to be. Six years ago, if you’d told her that at she’d be staring at her name on the finalized list of players on a FIBA Basketball World Cup team, she knows she would’ve wrinkled her nose in disgust and gone off to draw or paint. But as she allows a small smile to cross her face as a deep feeling of relief floods her body, she can’t help but look outward.

All around her, the other girls (her future teammates, she thinks nervously) chatter and push each other around in excitement while she stays rooted to the spot, hands fisting the bottom of her shirt in an attempt to not take up too much space. She’s made her choice; this is going to be her life now, so she had better learn to love everything about it. It’s not a sobering realization exactly, just something that she can’t help but see as another hurdle in her journey to feeling like she truly belongs somewhere.

Cam has participated in enough conversations over the past few days to know that everyone else here has lived and breathed basketball practically from the womb, and it only intensifies the disconnect she feels from the rest of the group. She knows she’s good enough to be here, she just hasn’t figured out how to match the assurance and swagger of her teammates that already have the sport running through their veins.

She takes a deep breath, looking more closely at her surroundings. Azzi was one of the more quiet girls, but she’d been nice all week… maybe she’d be good to talk to? Cam takes all of one step in her direction before she sees another blonde practically catapult herself onto the youngest member of the team, freezing her in her tracks. Cam instantly recognizes Paige, the #1 ranked player in their class, and shakes her head. No way she’s getting in the middle of whatever is building between the two of them.

A persistent tapping on her lower back nearly makes Cam jump as she tears her eyes away from the two guards in front of her. She whips around to see Hailey jerking back to avoid getting hit by her braid. “Oh my gosh, I’m sorry,” she says quickly.

Hailey shrugs. “No worries. Can you move real quick, though? All the posts are crowding the list and I can’t even see if my name is on it.” Her tone is casual, but it’s hard to miss her furrowed brows and clenched jaw as she tried to see around the taller girl.

Cam feels her cheeks heating up as she scrambles out of the way. “My bad, um, your name is on there-” she slaps her hand over mouth, realizing that the shorter girl may have wanted to read it herself, “-fuck, I should’ve just let you see, I’m so, so sorry!”

She trails off again when she sees the huge grin on Hailey’s face. The normally serious girl has gone completely still as she beams up at Cam. “What the fuck are you apologizing for? This is the best day of my fucking life!” She shrieks, grabbing both of Cam’s hands and beginning to jump around as her energy returns.

Slightly self-conscious (and wary of her ponytail), Cam hesitates for a moment before joining in. Looking around once again, she accidentally makes eye contact with Fran and is quick to avert her eyes at the slight smirk from the older girl. A Drake song starts blasting from the gym speakers, and as Cam lets Hailey dance around with her, she thinks that maybe she fits in just a little bit.

• • • • •

The Brinks might have been more excited than their daughter, who they needed no encouragement from to start booking flights and hotels so they could watch the whole tournament in Belarus. Cam was grateful to have them there, but disappointed when she learned how strict the team travel policies were.

She knows that she’s probably too old to be wanting to sit next to her mom on the plane, but she misses the comforting presence as the plane speeds down the runway. Luckily, she’s sitting next to Azzi, someone who, in the short amount of time that they’ve known each other, has become something close to a friend. There are certainly worse places to be sitting.

“You good with planes?” The dark-haired girl asks abruptly. “Paige isn’t, she was telling me on FaceTime last night.”

“Yeah, I’ll be ok,” Cam is quick to assure her. “I’m not gonna, like, throw up on you or anything.”

“Mm,” Azzi responds absently, attention clearly elsewhere. Cam follows her line of sight, not surprised when it leads to Paige.

“You really like her, huh?” Cam can’t miss the soft look in Azzi’s eyes.

The guard blinks, carefully smoothing her features. Seeing Cam’s genuine smile, she relaxes a bit. “Yeah, I really do.”

“Well, I hope you get married someday.”

“Married?” Azzi says incredulously. “That’s not even- slow down, we’re just friends.”

Cam raises her hands in surrender. “Whatever you say. I just hope it all works out, really.”

Azzi shakes her head in mock annoyance. “You’re so weird.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Cam knows Azzi didn’t mean anything by it, but it still stings. Not knowing what else to say, they lapse into silence.

Azzi must notice the shift in Cam’s demeanour because she extends an olive branch in the form of a question about the older girl’s mom. The two of them discover that they have more in common than they thought. In between hours of sleep, they’re able to keep up a light flow of conversation about their families, dogs, and mutual love of romance novels.

They’re both soundly asleep when Cam is awoken by repeated tapping on her shoulder. Her eyes fly open and she’s struck with a sense of deja vu when she’s greeted by Hailey’s face uncomfortably close to her own. Slightly unsettled, she instinctively presses her back farther into her seat.

“Finally! I was gonna do something drastic if that took any longer,” Hailey whispers impatiently.

Ignoring her, Cam glances out the window. Sure enough, it’s still pitch black. Rubbing her eyes, she realizes that Hailey has Paige in tow. The two guards are standing awkwardly in the aisle, struggling to keep a low profile.

“What was so urgent that you just had to wake me up at-” Cam checks her phone, “-four in the morning?”

Hailey shrugs. “We have important things to discuss. Oh, and that one-” she jerks her thumb at Paige standing behind her, “-wanted to sit with her girlfriend or whatever.”

“I did not!” Paige exclaims.

“So you didn’t wanna sit with her, then?” Hailey fires back.

Paige throws up her hands in defeat. “Ok, I did, but she’s not my girlfr- you know what, never mind.”

“That’s what I thought,” Hailey turns back to Cam. “Anyway, the whole point of this was getting you to come sit with me.” She extends a hand to the taller girl. “Cmon, I promise we’ll have fun.”

Still a little disoriented, Cam grabs a few things and manages to avoid banging her head on the ceiling as she stands. All the noise and shuffling finally wakes Azzi, who unexpectedly grabs Cam’s arm and pulls her back down.

“What’s going on?” She mumbles sleepily, resting her head on Cam’s shoulder.

The taller girl is a little taken aback, but she hopes that this means Azzi might actually like her. “Honestly, I’m not really sure,” she whispers back. “Paige is here, though, and I think I’m gonna go with Hailey for a bit.”

Azzi perks up at the mention of Paige. “Have fun, I guess,” she yawns, already looking for her best friend.

“You too,” Cam can’t resist giving her a playful nudge before she stands up again. This time she does bang her head, cursing as she steps into the aisle.

“It’s still weird hearing you cuss,” Hailey remarks as she leads them to her seat.

“What? I do it all the time,” Cam whines.

“You’re just too… innocent, I guess? It just feels wrong to me.” Hailey finishes buckling her seat belt. She looks up at Cam with a smirk. “Watch your head!”

“Fuck off,” Cam mutters, smiling despite herself.

“Be nice, I left the aisle for your lanky ass. And by the way, still weird hearing you say it,” Hailey nods like she’s just confirmed a hypothesis.

“Are we not the same age? I thought Azzi was the only young one here.” Cam leans back in her seat, eyes already sliding closed.

“I’m a few months older, but that’s not even important,” Hailey tilts her head. “It’s all about the vibe, y’know?”

“I guess, but more importantly, why do you know when my birthday is? Did you stalk me or something?” The shorter girl’s unabashed nod makes Cam pause. “I’d have to imagine that’s a lot weirder than anything I do.”

“I guess we’re both weird, then,” Hailey concedes. “But I had a good reason, I promise.”

Cam raises an eyebrow. “And what was it?”

“Because you’re sexy,” Hailey deadpans, laughing maniacally when Cam turns bright red. “No, for real though, I just needed to find out more about my future best friend.”

“So we’re best friends now?”

“We will be for this tournament, at least.” Hailey says confidently. It’s a statement, an assurance, not a question, and Cam is suddenly jealous of how easily the words come out.

“I’d like that,” she admits, her voice a little quieter than before.

“And I’m gonna figure you out,” Hailey says almost to herself.

Cam laughs self-consciously. “What do you mean?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Hailey says nonchalantly. She pulls out her AirPods and offers one to Cam. “We can listen to whatever you want.”

The younger girl’s hand stills abruptly. “If I take this, will you tell me what you meant?”

“Fineee,” Hailey drags out the word. “I just don’t get you. You talk to me fine — talk back to me, even — but I don’t think I’ve seen you have a real conversation with even three other people on this team.”

“That’s not true,” Cam protests.

“Who, then?”

“Well, there’s Azzi-“ Hailey rolls her eyes, “-and Paige, I guess? Maybe Hayley?” Cam lowers her gaze in defeat. She plucks the AirPod from Hailey’s outstretched hand. “Fine, I get it.”

“Hey, it’s okay, I didn’t mean anything by it,” Hailey makes sure her genuineness comes across. “Just, why me?”

Cam shrugs noncommittally. “It’s just hard sometimes, I guess? Plus, you won’t leave me alone- I don’t mind though,” she’s quick to add. “It’s a little easier with you, somehow.”

Hailey hums, seemingly satisfied with the answer. Wordlessly, she hands Cam her unlocked phone with all her downloaded songs.

They listen in silence for a while before Hailey taps Cam’s shoulder yet again. “Sorry, I can’t sleep,” she sighs. “Who knew that flights over ten hours would be so uncomfortable?”

“Me, actually. I lived in Amsterdam for three years and going back and forth was terrible,” Cam says shyly.

“Wait, are you serious? Tell me everything!” Hailey knows she probably sounds unreasonably excited, but she’s determined to learn everything that she can about Cam.

The taller girl recounts her favourite moments, and the conversation jumps from there, somehow getting to how Hailey got her seatmate (Hayley, the irony isn’t lost on either of them) to go sit with Paige’s seatmate (Fran) so that her and Paige could then end up next to Cam and Azzi respectively. She takes credit for remembering that Hayley and Fran are both committed to Stanford, and Cam giggles while giving her a round of applause.

When they both start to drift off, Cam lets Hailey settle on her shoulder, and it feels like the start of something. The younger girl doesn’t realize it, but since she and Hailey sat down, she hasn’t missed her parents at all.

[jaggedamethyst]

circuit breaker 🔬🌌 (part four)

tutor!jayce talis x reader, ekko x reader college au

content: jayce ghosts you when you need him most...so you have no choice but to lean on your best friend, ekko

pining, mental health mentions, neurodivergence, lmk if i missed any!

notes: ekko pic...omg... (you may think this series is going slow but i hate a slow burn ass fic that has them fucking chapter three don't pmo...also this evolved way past just jayce and i need to do ekko justice...bc some of yall don't, clocked it)

word count: 2.9k

series masterlist

⭑·ﾟﾟ·*:༅。.。༅:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　　✿✼:*ﾟ:༅。.。༅:*·ﾟﾟ·⭑

“Do you know that girl Jayce is always with?” 

You arrived to class, ready to learn—but not about physics truthfully. You expected to cut corners, create friendly conversation about nothing, humor Viktor. When you got there, though, you had to ask him immediately. 

“Mel Medara?” Viktor looked to you with intrigue. “I know of her…but not much about her.” He leaned to his left, toward you, “Why?” 

“She’s just always…around? And we spoke to each other once but I was in a hurry…didn’t get much chance for a formal introduction.” 

“Are you certain that your intrigue is rooted purely in your inquisitive nature…or is there another reason you want to share?” 

“No-“ 

The sound of the door towards the front of the class opening interrupted you—it was perfect timing, actually. You would rather not have to unpack why Mel’s presence bothered you so much; truthfully it was an inexplicable feeling. Someone walked in, and you sat up straighter. 

“Hi, everyone! My name is Caitlyn, some of you may know me if you’ve ever been to the student resource center.” She smiled at you, exchanging a look of recognition. “I wanted to formally introduce myself… I will be joining as a TA. If you need anything and can’t get ahold of the professor, you can ask me your course related questions.” She moved to plug a laptop into the projector, “Here is my email for future reference.” She allowed some time for people to copy and take photos of her email down. “Unfortunately, today’s class will be canceled for an emergency…but I was instructed to relay to you that the quiz will still be held next week. It’ll be on vectors and calculating their angles. Be sure to refresh yourselves over the weekend and reach out to me should you have any questions.” People started to shuffle around her, getting up to leave class. “I’m sorry for the inconvenience, guys. Feel free to use the space to get some other work done, or leave early.” 

“What the fuck, this was such a waste of my time.” You glanced back towards the board, making sure you got the email address right. “I have been so tired I could be sleeping right now.” 

“I’m sorry, I know you have a lot to deal with right now.” Viktor moved to the end of the aisle, grabbing his cane while slinging his bag over one shoulder. “At least you’ve been in tutoring. The quiz this week should be easier, right?” 

“That’s the thing,” you reached for your phone, “We’ve only just got to vectors so far. That was hard enough.” You hovered your finger over Jayce’s contact, never actually having messaged him. Before you could talk yourself out of it, you started texting him. 

hi jayce 

im sorry to bother you but i have my quiz next week and its gonna be on more stuff than we got to in our sessions

do you have any time to meet with me this weekend? if not thats ok, i can ask my friend

You paused, walking behind Viktor without looking up from the phone screen. 

i just need you

No, you shook your head, continuing the text. 

i just need your help

lmk

ty 

You grimaced at the text bubbles, hating how you split all of that up. You imagined his annoyed face, seeing all of these desperate messages. You wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t answer. You wouldn’t answer you. 

Viktor turned to you, “Are you alright?” 

“Yes, just frustrated and irritated and angry…thats all.” 

“That’s not a great combination.” 

You shook your head. Without trying, Viktor could always cheer you up. “Unrelated, but did Jayce ask you about what snacks I eat?” 

“He did,” he looked over at you, “It was odd. He said something about ‘reinforcements’ for your guys’ tutoring session.” 

“Oh...okay.” 

Viktor would call himself a lot of things, including perceptive. He didn’t say much, but he noticed the way your eyes lingered on one another when you first met. He was aware of the way you spoke about each other, especially when it was just Viktor around. He simply arched a brow at you, observing your concerned look at the phone screen. 

“Maybe you should take the weekend to rest and recuperate.” 

“I would…but the quiz-“ 

“Just for today. Wait for Jayce to get back to you. Then you can focus solely on next week.” He nodded reassuringly. 

He returned the nod, liking the sound of the plan. 

If only Jayce had bothered to answer. 

——————

“Hi.” 

“Come on in.” Ekko stepped back, letting you into his dorm. 

“I know it’s so last minute, but I know nothing about angles …figured you could help.” 

“I absolutely can help and would love to.” 

You sat your stuff down, getting comfortable as you’d done dozens of times before. You turned a corner, washing your hands at the sink before heading to grab a throw blanket from Ekko's bed. 

He knew your habits, calling from the living room area. “I have the heated blanket out here, too, if you wanna use that one. Know you get cold.” 

You exited his room, wearing the slippers you left under his bed. “Once again, you are the best…because I am, in fact, freezing my ass off right now.” 

“Want something to drink?” 

“Always.” 

The two of you were so in sync—it had to be that way after Powder. It became worse when Vi blamed you, suspecting one of you said something to her to make her disappear. Even though you know you did nothing wrong, there was still a self-hate there. That you couldn’t be there for a friend who needed you—so much so that she left entirely. You couldn’t do that to Ekko, he felt the same. 

“So,” you pulled out the folder Jayce had given you, a slight frown on your face at the thought of him completely ignoring you. “I have this paper, its like a cheat sheet for vectors…but besides what Jayce told me I don’t know what to do. The TA said we also have to calculate the angles…that makes no sense.” 

Ekko grabbed his notebook, flipping to a blank sheet of paper. He sketched a makeshift drawing—surprisingly good for how quick he’d done it. You were always in awe of his artistic talent. 

“Okay, so here…is a light pole.” He moved his finger to the other side of the paper, motioning toward a little drawing of you, smiling on the sidewalk. “This is you.” 

“Wait I’m so adorable here!”

Ekko chuckled, side eyeing you a bit, “Yeah…” 

You snatched the pencil—quickly drawing in a stick figure of him. “This is you!” 

“Is it really? Couldn’t tell.” 

“Hey-“ You swatted his arm, “You’re identical in my opinion.” 

“If having lines for a body is identical…then sure. But anyways…not the point of my sketch.” He grabbed the pencil back, “Thank you very much.” He flipped the pencil, using the eraser side to show you the details. “Okay…light pole…you.” He smirked, knowing you wanted to interject. Ekko raised his hand before you could, “This is the distance between you and the pole.” He made up and wrote a random number in feet under the bottom, the same for the pole. “This is the height of the pole. This is all you need to find every angle and distance measurement.” 

The look on your face was one of pure confusion. “How does that make any sense whatsoever, Ekko?” You moved to close the book. “Actually, lets just watch a movie instead. I’m prepared to fail at this point.” 

Ekko grabbed the book from you, reopening it. “Well, I’m not, so let’s get to work.” 

He continued, explaining as best he could. It was no use, though, it just wasn’t making sense to you. You nodded, trying to get him to move on to something else. 

“Does that make sense?” 

“Yeah.” You reached to hug Ekko, “You’re the best.” Pulling back, you plastered on a smile, hiding the discomfort. You didn’t feel ready whatsoever. Suddenly, Ekko grabbed your hands, pulling your attention to him. 

“You’re gonna do great.” He lingered on you for a while, “Promise.” 

The doubt you felt made you want to hole up and skip class altogether. Eventually, it developed into a disdain for Jayce. When you thought about it, he was the reason you were going to fail…again. 

——————

You decided against skipping class on Monday, but you were definitely opting out of that damn tutoring session. If Jayce can’t answer a simple few texts, how were you to know you even had a standing appointment anymore. It made you feel less than worthy of a proper notice. Above all, it just felt plain unprofessional…he’s an employee after all. 

Walking into class and into this quiz felt like a walk to your execution. Midterms were quickly approaching, which meant you only had so many quizzes you could fail before the majority of your final grade was tainted by bad ones. 

Viktor greeted you as normal, moving over to give you a seat. “Are you prepared?”

“As best as I can be.” 

The beauty of college was that you did assessments in class and got the results as soon as you submitted. Knowing you would get your score back in the next few minutes had your stomach churning. An image of Jayce, carefree and nonchalant, popped into your head. Nothing was making sense. Reluctantly, you started choosing random answers—disregarding the calculator altogether. Before you knew it, your grade, a 56%, reflected back to you. 

“Fuck,” you whispered to yourself. You closed your laptop, getting up to leave class early. “I’ll see you later, Viktor.” 

Before he could reply, you were gone. Pushing through the door. You grabbed your phone from your pocket, texting Ekko. 

im done early, wanna meet rn?

He replied a few seconds later.

omw 

You picked up the pace, not out of urgency, but in pure frustration. Everything you’d been working towards wasn’t paying off. The time you spent not being with Ekko—with Jayce—was a waste. 

When you arrived to the dining hall, Ekko wasn’t there yet. You took the time to grab both you and him something to eat for lunch. Within minutes, Ekko showed up, that warm smile on his face as usual. He leaned into you, giving you a side hug while simultaneously grabbing the food from you. 

“How was the quiz?” You didnt reply, simply giving him a side eye. “Damn…I’m sorry.” 

“Not your fault…but thanks for helping.” 

He’d seamlessly changed the subject—allowing the two of you to talk without the reminder of your failure that day. You didn’t acknowledge how fast the time had passed and truthfully, didn’t care. You hadn’t planned to show up to tutoring…much less give Jayce any notice. 

To your right, you suddenly heard a voice, interrupting you and Ekko. 

“Hey.” You looked over, seeing Jayce standing there. “I figured you’d be here.” He looks between you and Ekko, hands now on his hips. “You missed our session.” 

You raised a brow and crossed your arms over your chest. “Wow, really? Didn’t know we were still having those.” 

“Of course we are, you have those quizzes-“ 

“Had.” You interrupted, “There was one today. You’d know if you checked your phone.” 

He looked down, embarrassed at his phone sitting in his front pant pocket. 

“I’m sorry- I know this is important for you but something came up.” 

“What? What came up?” Ekko spoke up. 

Jayce turned to look at him, finally acknowledging his presence again. “Something personal,” he looked away, focusing back on you. “Can we talk alone?” 

Ekko spoke again, “Say what you need to say.” 

“I would, but I’m not talking to you.” 

A screech of Ekko’s chair resounded in the dining hall. You reached a hand out, gesturing toward them. “Ekko, please.” 

Ekko looked over to you and inhaled a deep breath. He was looking at Jayce again, but kept talking to you. “I’ll see you later, okay? Call if you need anything.” 

“Wait- Ekko-” 

Jayce gulped, sitting down across from you. You watched Ekko leave as Jayce took his seat, hands resting on the table. 

“What the hell is your problem? You ghost me then show up here with an attitude? I should be pissed…I am pissed! I failed because of you!” 

He nodded, knowing the weight of his being inaccessible. “I’m sorry.” 

“You said that.” 

“There was a personal thing, a family emergency-“

“And yet, your phone is still in working condition.”

You didn’t want to be insensitive, but it takes seconds to reply. A simple message would’ve sufficed. 

“My mom’s sick.” You froze—remembering that it’s just him and his mom. “She was in the hospital all weekend…it still hasn’t gotten better.” He paused, looking at you now, “I thought I owed you to at least show up today.” 

“Well…now I feel like shit.” 

“Don’t. Not your fault I didn’t tell you what was happening.” 

“Is there anything I can do?” 

“Hope she gets better?” 

You reached over, placing a comforting hand on his, “I can do that.” 

He let you linger there, before pulling back. “How about this week, since I messed up so bad with scheduling…we meet as much as you’d like just so you can be ready. Shit, it can be every day if you want.” He nodded, “We’re gonna make sure you pass this class if it’s the last thing I do.” 

“Are you sure? I can be pretty high maintenance…” 

He leaned back in his chair, a nonchalant yet playful look on his face, “Not worried about it.” 

“Okay.” You shrugged, “If you say so.” 

The pair of you exchanged smiles, not at all prepared for how tumultuous this week would be. 

taglist

@juskonutoh @sseleniaa @aerina127 @sleepysoldier @angelicmisty @1800latenitecreep @venus-in-roses

[vhygoxo]

Twilight New Age

After inheriting her grandparents house in the Quileute reservation, La Push, Y/N moves to her home rez. Hoping to start a new life she is soon involved with what she thought were just old legends.

Paul Lahote x Reader

Romance | Fantasy | Drama | Angst

CHAPTER 3

<<CHP 2

The music was playing loud with the help of Embry’s subwoofer. Everyone was feeling the drinks as the group talked over one another. Only the older members sat around the bonfire. Consisting of Y/n, Quil, Kim, Emily, Leah, Sam, Embry, and Jared.

Leah and Embry sat beside y/n on either sides. Emily and Kim eventually found their way to their respective partners. Kim and Jared sat next to each other basically fondling one another. Emily and Sam were too absorbed with one another to even join the group conversation.

Almost an hour and a half had passed since Paul had left. Y/n still sat with her heart racing out of her chest as she barely finishing her first drink. Still nursing what was left in the can. Wondering anxiously when Paul would get back. Feelings in turmoil as she switched from feeling desperate to frustration at herself.

The three outside of y/n seemed to take no notice or care about the couples. It seemed that it was just something normal for the others. Y/n faded in and out of the conversation, thinking of him, then snapping into reality. She wondered if he’d even come back.

She was getting along with Leah, there were some qualities they shared, even some interests. Y/n was relieved to know she wasn’t as scary as she thought. She was one of the most welcoming and generous people out of the group aside Emily.

“So your grandma said you’re living all alone down at her old place?”

“Yeah just me out there at the moment”

“Seems a lot of work for one person. How are you handling it all?” Leah asked with serious concern. Y/n nervously laughed “I’m handling it so far yeah. It’s true it’s a lot of work for me but not much besides the house I have to look after. I’ll worry about the yard once the snow is fully melted.“

“Well if you ever need any help I live nearby your place. I’ll give you my number in case of anything. Or if you just want to hang. I’m sure you can handle but it’s still scary for a single girl to live alone there. It’s a pretty isolated area”

“Really? I appreciate that it’ll help. I’ve been worried about the recent wolf sightings in my area. Least I know you’re around”

Leah fell silent after they exchanged numbers. Embry she enjoyed as well but y/n found it hard to befriend men most of the time. It never lasted long with her guy friends in the past. Besides she wasn’t sure if she was wanting to just befriend him.

Other times she’d be really enjoying herself. But after feeling that intense connection earlier from Paul she wasn’t sure about much now. It didn’t help the fact that Embry and Leah kept bickering with one another quite loudly.

“So how are we feeling tonight y/n?” Embry asked catching her attention. He wore a soft smile on his face. “Great. How’s your night so far?” She asked earnestly with a smile as he leaned in closer. Her cheeks flushing at how close they were at the moment.

“Same here. You’re not much of a drinker are you” He asked looking down at her empty can. She shrugged her shoulders “Usually” she said as he scoffed. “Usually? Why not tonight? I thought you were having a great night” he asked with a worried look.

“I mean I am but—“ y/n trailed off nervously. Embry shook his head slightly. “But?” Gazing into his eyes he gave off a unique Intense energy. An unsuspecting darkness was hidden inside him. He must’ve noticed from Leah and y/n’s reaction how he was behaving. Leaning back slightly away from her as Leah got up to leave.

“I just…” Y/n trailed off trying to figure what to say. Explain that she somehow missed Paul even though they literally just met? She wasn’t sure If one could even call that an introduction.

“Look, I get that you’re not used to being around people like us. We can come off how do I put it. A bit scary? Intense? I dunno but personally I hope you have a good time here with all of us. In the meantime can I get you a new drink?” He offered which made y/n smile.

“Sure, thank you” she answered as Embry stood up. But before he could leave she pulled onto the edge of his sleeve. “I just wanna say I am having fun. I don’t wanna give off the impression I’m not. It’s just that I didn’t realize how tired I am y’know? But I’m sure a drink will help with that”

He smiled slightly at her nodding in acknowledgment. Leaving to get a drink out of the cooler for her y/n sat in thought. Her heart beat was still pounding loudly. The lingering energy settled over her and her heart.

It wasn’t as if she thought everyone was scary. They seemed interesting in a way she couldn’t describe. A certain mystery that she wanted to unravel about all of them. They seemed so close and familiar. It made the feeling of being a new person all the more obvious.

The evening was great so far, but with how much time had passed, she wondered if Paul would return. Would she even cross paths with Paul again? She wanted to rid herself of this inner conflict she was going through already.

Maybe then she could actually focus on her surroundings. She kept getting flashbacks to her dreams. Running in the woods wildly, the light of the moon, with the sounds of howls echoing the valleys. Chills ran down her back all the way across her spine.

Embry came with her new drink in hand. She kept harshly blinking as to help with her vision, fading in and out of reality, then back to her place in her dreams. As she reached for the can she saw a flash of fierce piercing grey eyes in her mind. Making her gasp in surprise she almost dropped her drink.

The loud noise of truck pipes echoed as a black truck rolled up. Instantly catching the attention of everyone as the driver slammed into park. Y/n once again felt a wave of chills go through her. She knew there was only one person it could be.

Paul had returned with Seth by his side. He wore a completely different outfit than the one had a few hours ago she noticed. Glancing up he found her and locked eyes instantly. She was frozen in place as he made his way down to the area.

Sam rose to greet the two as Paul kept his eyes on y/n. The rest of the group eventually stood along with y/n. At this point all y/n felt she could do was look away and stare into the fire. Feeling his intense look baring down into the side of her neck.

“Paul you made it” Sam said as he was almost instantly ignored. Embry stood beside y/n not bothered by his entrance. Paul was glaring at him, while y/n scanned Paul once more, looking upon his face closely.

“So” His voice was smooth but gruff. He had a slight smirk across his face standing in from of her. Y/n looked up as she breathed in regaining composure. All everyone else could do was watch and wait in anticipation.

“You’re her aren’t you?” Paul said in a tone that made her heart race. “Her?” She answered as he wore a stern expression. One that seemed like he wouldn’t let up. His intensity was something y/n had never experienced before.

“The one. Everyone has talked about you at least once a day since you came” He said making y/n lift an eyebrow, she felt he was somehow annoyed, at how much everyone was excited over her. “Yeah well that’s me. And you are?” She asked as he smiled slightly at her response.

“Paul” he said causing a short pause between the two. For both it felt like an eternity fit into a second. Y/n’s eyes trailed from his eyes down to his lips. Down to his neck and chest focusing on his collarbone. She was too busy taking in his features to realize he was also.

“I never got your name” he said as she felt the warmth on her face spreading. “My name is y/n… Not just the one” y/n bluntly corrected Paul. He smiled finally breaking the harsh exterior he held. “I’d hope not” he said as y/n felt somehow more at ease now that he was back.

The rest of the guys broke the conversation by pulling Paul to the drinks. Catching both of the two by surprise. Everyone erupting into conversation as y/n caught her breath. Separating into their respective corners.

She felt her nerves calmly settling down. As her heart beat steadied she sat down clutching her chest. Embry took notice as he joined her side once more. “Hey you okay?” He asked worried as she nodded her head.

“I’m fine it’s just a bit cold out here. Still getting used to it I guess” she tried to assure while he shook his head. Embry wore a thick fleece lined flannel jacket which he was trying to take off.

Leah instantly as she seen the sight and got up to intervene. Knowing how the situation would bode with a certain someone. Paul was already shooting deathly eye glares from his corner. Leah rushed over with a blanket, wrapped up y/n, before Embry could place his jacket on her.

Y/n flushed red as Leah wrapped not only the blanket but her arms around her. “Here” Leah said looking down at her, she could smell her scent waft past, which was a mix of rain and lavender. Embry frowned as he shuffled his jacket back on.

“Even from where I sat you could see how cold you are” Leah smiled teasing y/n who was bashful. As Leah rubbed her shoulders for warmth before sitting back beside her. “Thank you. I’m not used to the weather here just yet” y/n replied in a soft tone.

“Is it bad if I hope you don’t?” Leah said as she peered in close to y/n. Gazing at her through her thick lashes y/n felt flustered. Noticing how close the distance was to the two. Jared and Kim sat with Paul who was sitting on the edge of his seat.

“Now why would you hope for that? You wish for me to be freezing all the time?” y/n answered trying to focus. But Leah had her own intensity to her that y/n struggled to match. Leah in the other hand couldn’t but find her demeanour cute.

“Because. Then I wouldn’t be able to warm you up like this” Leah made y/n instantly blush heat spreading across her face. Leah sat with a sly but subtle smirk as she stifled a laugh. Quil on the other hand was sick of watching everyone fight over his cousin.

Everyone was acting different since she arrived he noticed. It was as if they all forgot how to act in the first place. When did everyone get so sweet? He rose from his seat eager to march right over. Paul determined to follow him but Sam whipped a glare to him.

The loud sound of a car arriving interrupted everyone. As they all shifted their heads to see who had pulled up. Y/n felt her heart drop into her gut in an awful way. Everything in her body told her she should flee. Instead her body froze stiff in place.

The men all stood up on alert before the truck could even fully park. Sensing something that y/n was somehow also reacting to. Paul whipped his head over to Quil then y/n. Embry left y/n’s side walking over to stand by Sam.

Quil marched over to y/n taking Embry’s place at her side. Y/n noticed Quil’s protective stance as everyone else stood up alert. Leah also rushed in front of y/n as if to block her from something.

Out from the truck was Jacob and the girl Renesmee. Y/n stiffened again as the two immediately locked eyes. Sam rushed up to meet with Jacob who walked with Renesmee in stride.

The two men began to talk in harsh but hush tones to each other. Renesmee kept her eyes on y/n who was trying to stray away from the girl. Looking down eager to avoid y/n felt utter chills throughout her body.

“Hey there. It’s me from the diner remember?” Renesmee beamed innocently with a bright smile. Strolling over past the two men and the rest of the group confidently over to y/n. Everyone eyed her with wild and fierce eyes shocked.

Y/n slightly gasped upon hearing her voice, seeing her coming over, she felt her self hesitate. Quil and Leah immediately closed ranks sliding close to one another. Shoulder to shoulder they blocked Renesmee from approaching further

“Just the other day was when we met. I’m sure Quil remembers. I didn’t think you’d be here what a nice surprise!” The girl continued as Quil nodded with a straight stern face. “Yes it’s good to see you too” he tried to dismiss her. But to no avail as she peered over and in between the two to look at y/n.

“Yes hi Renes—”

“Jacob” Paul called out in a serious tone as he hovered close by. Arms crossed as he showed obvious discontent. “Renesmee” Jacob called out making the girl look back concerned. In a brief moment she sighed and joined his side once more.

Y/n couldn’t help but notice everyone’s strange behaviour. How the energy shifted as soon as these two pulled up. But she wasn’t quite sure how to react given the mood so far. Kim and Jared looked at one another before they separated.

“C’mon y/n I think we should go for a quick cruise. Leah come with us. We’re almost out of drinks” Kim chimed in as y/n looked back up at Renesmee. A sad look upon her face as she gazed into the fire. Kim quickly linked arms with y/n pulling her away from the area.

“Em you too” Leah spoke in a firm tone as Emily nodded. The four left together explaining they’d be right back. Y/n didn’t know what Kim meant by saying there were hardly drinks. When there were at least two coolers full still. She understood there was something weird going on they didn’t want to say.

Whatever it was had to do with Renesmee somehow. Or at least Jacob she decided in her mind on the drive to the liquor store. Even the girls didn’t dare bring the two of them up. Leah drove since she didn’t have anything to drink.

As she parked the car y/n made the other two girls go inside. Wanting to sit alone with Leah for a moment. Y/n waited for Leah to light her cigarette. Watching as she exhaled her smoke into the air.

“So that was Renesmee and Jacob huh? I remember Jacob but I’m not sure who the girl is”

Y/n tried to make her intentions discreet. Leah took a long drag, thinking of what to say, she took a moment before answering. “I thought she said you met at the diner” y/n agreed but quickly dismissed her.

“But that was quick I barely spent a minute with her” Leah nodded slightly. “Yeah well that might be for the best” Leah answered as she took a drag. Her ash lighting up as she inhaled. She seemed so reserved y/n thought as she looked at her.

“For the best? What do you mean by that?” Y/n peered curiously. Wondering what could be so wrong about Renesmee. “I hardly know the girl either. Just that her and Jacob have been gone for like 3-4 years until now. The girl can be a bit much at times from what I remember” Leah continued.

“And Jacob? Is that his…” y/n trailed off unsure whether to say it out loud or not. Leah glanced over with a small smirk. “His what?” Leah questioned as y/n blushed. “I mean is that y’know… His girlfriend?“ Leah laughed slightly as she flicked her cigarette out the window.

“No that’s not his girlfriend. They’re close like…” she struggled to explain as y/n tried guessing. “His little sister?” She answered as Leah agreed. “Yeah… Yeah something like that…” Leah finished her cigarette putting it out. The two girls were coming out the store now with small bags.

Once they returned y/n noticed how they came with more bags of ice than anything. More so than the booze they were supposedly getting. She didn’t want to question since no one needed to black out tonight. Hopefully these boys weren’t black outs who’d fight each other when wasted.

“Good to see Jacob back isn’t it?” Kim brought up lightly, her and y/n sat in the back, as the other two sat quietly. “It is yeah…” Emily said drifting off onto something unrelated. The topic of Renesmee wasn’t brought up in the slightest. It was like she didn’t exist to these people.

Getting back to the beach Jacob and Renesmee were gone, everyone explained they just came for a bit, since Renesmee was supposedly tired. Jacob decided to bring her home instead. Explaining he won’t be able to make it back until another day.

Unadmittedly y/n was disappointed to know she was gone. There was something about her y/n felt she needed to uncover. Why does she keep haunting her dreams with her presence? It all wasn’t making much sense to her. Figuring if she got to know her maybe it’d explain somethings.

Jacob as well she surprisingly missed. She’d cross paths with him as a child growing up. Since him and Quil were always close, she had hardly recognized him, not like she knew him that well anyways. But it was a missed opportunity she was hoping to get another day.

She tried not to focus on it too much and instead focused on visiting here. Tonight would most likely not be different than the rest. Renesmee would likely be awaiting for her in her dreams. As she went to sit down on the logs with the rest Paul came towards her.

She felt nervous as he stepped close, in his hands were a warm blanket, looking up at him he wore a stern expression. “Have this” he said bluntly making her quickly take it in her arms. “It’s cold out tonight. You’ll need it to stay warm” he said very matter of fact. He smelt of firewood smoke and a faint smell of cologne.

“Oh okay…Thank you” she said softly as he handed her a drink, the kind she was drinking before, instead it was a fresh one. Before he walked away satisfied back to his seat. Wrapping herself in the blanket she couldn’t help but blush at the interaction. How thoughtful she thought as the rest watched closely.

The rest of the evening y/n spent with Kim and Emily. Despite y/n’s attempts hardly anyone spoke of Renesmee. The conversation always somehow leading back to Jacob. It bothered her since she was overly curious of the girl.

“So y/n what do you usually like doing around here? Now that you’re fully moved back?” Emily had asked y/n. “I mean there’s not much to do around here really. Well at least from what I remember” she said making everyone laugh.

“That’s quite true” Emily said as she calmed down. Y/n couldn’t help but feel a bit embarrassed for the comment. “I love going to the beach but it’s not warm out yet. Hiking too but again it’s so cold yet. I’m mainly at home unless I travel out to the city” she said trying to shift the focus off of her somehow.

“Well how about sometime this week you come over for dinner? I usually cook big meals and we’d love to have someone new come by. I can show you what we do for fun here” Emily was sincere and kind which y/n was glad for. “Yeah of course I’ll come” y/n said eagerly making the rest smile, except for Paul, who looked over to Sam and Emily concerned.

“Just let me know what kind of dishes you like. I can cook whatever it’s no issue. Since these guys hunt I usually have a variety of wild game” Emily insisted sweetly. Ignoring Paul’s glares and Sam’s concerns.

“Wow really? You guys hunt?” Y/n asked the rest of the men who were surprised by the sudden attention. “I mean yeah all the time” Embry said in a semi sarcastic tone that y/n caught. Y/n frowned slightly as she turned away. Soon as she did Paul elbowed Embry’s side harshly.

“I can bring by some meat to stock your freezer. I know you love elk meat” Quil chimed in making y/n perk up. “Really? I’d really appreciate that since I haven’t eaten it in so long” y/n said as Quil nodded.

“Wait a minute. I knew I recognized you! But I wasn’t sure from where. You’re the cousin that Quil took to prom right? What was that? Junior or sophomore year?” Jared exclaimed as he finally remembered. Both Quil and y/n’s face flushed with embarrassment.

“Yeah it was grade eleven I came out for the prom. It was a goodnight” y/n explained much to Quil’s objections. “Sorry I didn’t remember sooner. But damn that was bugging me for a while” Jared said relieved.

Everyone got a rise out of that as they shared stories of that night. “I remember because everyone thought she was your girlfriend. Awe man most of the guys were so jealous until they knew she was your cousin” Jared continued on.

It was starting to annoy Paul as much as Quil. “Yeah well I had the prettiest girl on my arm that night that’s all that mattered” Quil defended his self while the boys continued to tease him.

“That’s because you couldn’t get a real date” Embry started as the two broke into rough housing one another. “Fuck you, you didn’t even show up with a date, at least I did” he bickered as Embry tried choking him.

The conversation trailed off into what the guys wanted to show y/n. Once the two broke apart thanks to Paul. Which was just basically a variety of the sports they all played. She got along with Embry and Quil the most. Since they all had somewhat nerdy interests. Embry’s sarcastic humour was starting to rub off on her.

Y/n had started to notice Paul’s presence more with each passing moment. Eager to steal secret glances to look at him, but their eyes would meet each time, making her heart skip a beat. It was as if he was staring at her long before she could look at him.

It caught her off guard in some moments. Or how if she shifted her position and seat he’d find a way to sit directly across her. How he leaned in each time they spoke to one another so far. Just their few passing words was somehow enough for her to feel smitten.

The visit was cut short since Sam got a phone call. Apparently the majority of them work on as a type of security, for the community, Sam was one of the leadings officers. All eventually decided to leave and end the night.

“It’s not unusual for Sam and some of the guys to leave like this. It takes some getting used to” Emily explained as she sighed. Trying to hide her obvious disappointment at her fiancé leaving.

Y/n laid in bed that night tired and tipsy. Thinking back on what had happened. She was glad to have met everyone so far. But Paul stood out amongst the rest even against Renesmee. How intense she felt being near him, in some moments she felt her heart beating so loudly, thinking it’d run right out of her chest.

Paul made her feel things she never thought she could. Tossing and turning her mind was filled with Paul. Despite the erratic emotions she felt somehow at ease also. Each time she closed her eyes to sleep it was as if he was staring back at her.

A howl echoed in her mind as she was lulled to sleep. It was the first night she didn’t have a weird terrible dream. Instead only remembering comfort that came in waves and the howl that echoed.

Y/n finally felt refreshed and rested after what felt like forever. The weird dreams were really messing with her quality of sleep. Thankfully not much happened last night to disturb her. The only thing she couldn’t get her mind off was Paul. Somehow switching him for Renesmee in her mind.

It still freaked her out about the other day with Kim, how Renesmee was in the middle of the road, that she couldn’t explain. In all honesty it messed with her confidence driving. Honestly her confidence in general.

She seemed so alluring and captivating. Despite only spending a few moments with her. Coming off as somehow hauntingly sweet. It wasn’t so great thinking so much of her. Luckily she had the thought of Paul distracting her.

Getting ready for the day she continued with her chores. Continuing to clean and tend to the house. She gradually felt cooped up and uncomfortable, surrounded by chaotic mess, boxes and items left scattered everywhere. She texted Kim to see if she wanted to hang.

But after waiting a minute Kim didn’t respond. Unusual since she always answered quickly. Deciding to just suck it up she wanted to go to the book store. Have a day to herself of shopping and being spoiled.

A chance to get over her nerves and get out. She finished what was left of her chores. Putting on her coat she grabbed her keys out of the bowl by the door. Once last look in the mirror she headed out.

Leaving the house she turned to lock the door. Only to hear a ruffling noise coming from the trees. Whipping her head quickly to see a huge gray wolf, shocked she dropped her keys, but for a brief second she made eye contact.

It was true there were wolves around here! Would it leap and attack her she thought? But the serene energy she felt told her otherwise. Holding the eye contact before the beast turned running into the forest.

She stood for a moment in disbelief. And also just to make sure there weren’t anymore around. After realizing what just happened was real and not a dream she gathered herself. It was her first time seeing a real wolf. Picking up her keys and driving down the road.

The sight of the wolf made her wonder. In all seriousness y/n was spiritual especially with how she grew up. Wondering if this was the same wolf that plagued her dreams and thoughts. Her grandfather always said there was a power, a certain energy, to the wolf.

Overwhelmed y/n knew she needed to just focus on herself today. Everything since moving here was so weird and different so far. She just needed to do something normal and docile. Something that was familiar to her. Hopefully there wouldn’t be any wolves on her way back.

Driving she listened to music to calm her nerves. Getting into a better mindset she got herself a coffee through a local cafe, going through the drive thru, before heading to the stores.

Shopping around a few clothing boutiques she wandered around. Finding a new small store she explored. Not realizing it was an indigenous owned store. There was a wall filled with jewellery. Different types of beaded, dentillium, shell earrings and jewelry.

Coming across a stunning pair of wolf earrings that were beaded. It was more intricate and detailed than what she’d found. She was so taken by them the lady at the register even noticed.

“Those were all made by local artisans in the community. Every item bought a portion goes back to them”

“Really? Do you happen to know the name of who made these?” She asked as the lady who looked at the earrings. “Usually these have a tag with their names and contact info of the artist. But this is missing one” she showed the other earrings with tags.

“I’ll still get them if that’s alright” y/n insisted as the lady happily rang them up. The earrings were too pretty to pass up. Especially after that encounter with that gray wolf. These ones had a gray wolf with an orange sunset coloured background.

Reaching the bookstore she noticed it was also indigenous owned. Something she wasn’t used to where she lived with her parents. It made her excited since she needed more indigenous literature on her shelves.

The man at the counter greeted her as she entered. It was semi busy with people mingling around. Looking around she found a section dedicated to Quileute knowledge and history. Which immediately caught her interest as she went towards it.

Scanning through she found a book on Quileute myths and legends. It reminded her badly of her grandfather. Growing up when she’d be at their house he’d always tell stories. Passing them down from his grandfather to her and her cousins.

Most were stories of his time as a child. Before diving into myths and stories he knew about. She and Quil spent the most time with him out of the grandkids. He’d always take the time to explain what each story meant.

Skimming through she was entranced by the story she landed on. It reminded her of a certain story she had trouble remembering of his. Because he only told it maybe once in her lifetime. Reading the title of the chapter she began reading further.

“Myths and legends of the Quileute tribe

In times before the white man came to the country, the Quileute tribe have been a small but resilient people, with their own unique traditions and power. Recognized and respected by the surrounding communities as fierce warriors.

They are also recognized for their mysterious ‘gifts’ and so called ‘blessings’. Some say they have multiple types of strong magic and power. One being their connection to the wolves. Accounts from other surrounding tribes speak of their unnatural abilities and ties.

The Makah people specifically, have certain accounts, and stories of such abilities. For when encountering them in battle, the Quileute owned what was believed to be direwolves, which are now extinct to the modern world. They’d send them out to assist during battle. Many believed they raised and trained them among their own. But there’s no such evidence to support that.

The direwolves were said to be as big or even bigger than the average horse. A different breed of wolf that was uncommon in the Washington area. On the battlefield they would announce their arrival by howling. Sometimes striking so much fear into the enemy they’d flee.

The Quileute people say otherwise about the direwolves. Claiming that they themselves were the direwolves. Denying that they ever raised such beasts, hence no evidence, but there was no proof to support their original claim.

As a tribe they were used to human threats. Other men trying to conquer their tribe and land. All until the arrival of the ‘cold ones’, people that were made of hard stone, and an unnatural thirst for human blood.

Claiming that the reason they could shift into the powerful wolf, was to kill such horrific creatures, in order to best protect not only their people but humanity it self.”

It sounded like they were describing vampires y/n thought. She only had fuzzy faint memories of her grandfathers story. Surely she would’ve remembered if he mentioned talk of vampires.

The thought of them sent shivers down her spine. How could vampires even be real? The way her people described them made her feel scared. How would they even come across one, let alone many, and also be able to kill them?

Just how big did these wolves get to be? What was shifting exactly like? It was almost describing a werewolf. Intrigued by the idea y/n continued further.

“The cold ones were creatures born of the night. They are unnatural and forever ravenous. Wishing to only feed on human flesh, the Quileute describe them as cannibals, cursed to live forever for their sins of eating human flesh. They appeared as attractive and seductive. With cold solid skin that shimmered like the sun on the water.

Their ability to transform into wolves they say came from one man. Whose name was name was long forgotten. As was his bloodline, they say the last of his line, died honourably to save the tribe. He was named as the last shifter and last wolf of the tribe.

A cold one had strayed from his partner and the trail. Belonging to a group of French colonizers who were trapping. The man found the village first, coming across a band of women and children, bathing and washing by the river.

Legends say the last shifter had to sacrifice his self to save the tribe. Other say it was him and also his sons who died in battle. All the stories end the same way. Wth both of the cold ones being killed and burned to ash. Stating that the cold ones ate many women and children before the last wolf could stop him. Their bodies looked deflated, pale, and flat for they had no blood in their bodies”

An image was attached, a hand drawn depiction of the grimly scene, a woman being sucked at the neck with bodies surrounding. The cold one’s eyes looked dark and ominous. Her eyes were piercingly light as she dressed in fine furs.

“Found yourself a good book I see?” A familiar voice chimed behind y/n surprising her out of her trance. It was Renesmee who stood with a sweet smile. Giggling slightly at y/n’s scared reaction.

“Renesmee! I didn’t realize you were here” she replied as her nerves settled. “I seen you come in earlier but you looked interested in reading. I didn’t want to disturb you but I wanted to say hi. I wasn’t able to talk to you at the bonfire the other night”

“Yeah sorry about that we thought the cruise wouldn’t be so long. I was hoping to see you too”

“Jacob ended up wanting to leave. I think he was too tired to be honest. But anyways I heard from Jacob you recently moved back here. Is that true?” She asked with eyes full of wonder. Y/n couldn’t help but take notice of her ethereal beauty, how perfect her brown hair was, or how her skin glistened under the sunshine.

“I mean yeah but I’m not new to the area—”

“Great to hear. That means I can show you around. Y’know I’ve read this book before and it’s a great read” she said as y/n clasped the book close. “Y-Yeah it has been so far. I think I’m going to buy it actually. I want to read it more” she said her hands covering the front of the book.

“Wait… I’m not sure this is the same one I’ve read actually. Can I check the cover?” Renesmee asked as she reached to flip the book over. “Sure—“ y/n replied before her hands touched her, as they did the air from her lungs sucked out, and her field view changed before her.

She was stuck in the middle of the forest again. The same exact spot she had been stuck in the past. Another flash and the sky was no longer night but day. With a blinding sun that shined down on her.

The next was the moon flashing in her face. With the same intensity as the sun somehow. The sound of heavy footsteps on soft earth intensely struck the ground. Shocked and scared she couldn’t move not even a budge.

All she could see now, was a pair of eyes, glaring at her in the dark. Peering out through the darkness as it came forward. Gray eyes revealed to be the gray wolf once more. As he stepped out of the shadows to reveal itself.

Renesmee’s grip loosened as y/n stumbled backwards. Air rushing back into her lungs. Dropping the book to the floor suddenly. A cold sweat was running down her back as she looked up at her. Renesmee’s eyes fixed onto her neck, before looking back up at y/n, as she smiled Innocently.

“What’s wrong? I don’t want the book *that* bad. I said I read it already *remember*?” she said with such a nonchalant tone. Y/n felt her stomach instantly turn into a big huge knot. Something was *off* and she *needed* to leave.

Picking up the book Renesmee helped her with it. “Here. You have to be careful“ she said in a sweeter and much softer tone. But not enough for y/n to feel even slightly normal. Rushing to get up she felt her gut turning worser by the second. Her hand somehow brushed against hers once more.

Flashes of red filled her vision, similar to a strobe light, it made her stumble down again. “Are you sure you’re fine? You keep stumbling all over the store here” she said clutching y/n’s arm. Upon her touch she writhed away from Renesmee’s grip.

Turning around immediately she slapped a large money bill on the counter. “Thank you?” The man behind the register said as she practically ran out. Renesmee stood quiet as she watched her take off.

In a panic she ran down to her car. Only to be met with something in front of her stiff as concrete. “Woah there. You okay?” A voice said making her look up, it was Jacob his self, he held her shoulders as he helped her steady.

“Y/n?”

“Jacob?”

She asked bewildered by the encounter. “Yeah I’m okay you just surprised me” y/n replied as he smiled. “Me too. You came out pretty quickly. Like a bat out of hell. You okay?—“ he tried asking again but it only triggered her flashbacks to the vision. She could see sharp teeth snapping down, the sound of growling and snarling, as the wolves ran beside each other.

Y/n’s face drained of its colour turning her pale. Jacob noticed as he furrowed his eyebrows. “What’s wrong?” He asked with a genuine concern. His face somehow reminded her of the weird visions she was plagued with.

Renesmee stepped out of the book store. Jacob turned and greeted her like normal. But y/n fled down the path way with no shame or warning. More focused on her and her own sanity.

Y/n hopped into her car and sped home. Hoping and praying she wouldn’t come across Renesmee on the road. She so much as didn’t even want to think or utter her name. For fear of somehow summoning her.

Her grip was tight on y/n’s hand but she felt warm. At least she was warm instead of having an unnatural coldness. It actually surprised y/n she was warm, but it didn’t rid her of her suspicions, there was something about Renesmee that was different.

If she was a cold one, like she suspected, what could she even do? They were cannibals, literal blood sucking monsters, how could one defend themselves? They had to be just some stories elders told to keep kids inside.

Ridding the thought of her she hustled back home. It was raining outside, not as much as usual, it was more of a spit than anything. The smell was calming her down somewhat. Not as much as she wanted or hoped really.

There was no way she could think otherwise if she wanted to feel safe. That girl Renesmee just had to be a sweet normal human. And something else was plaguing the mind of y/n. For her to even experience something as this so often.

How far would these delusions go? It wasn’t as if she was this fascinated by such fantasy’s. Vampires never interested her much. Werewolves also she never paid attention to any fiction such as that. It was a big question on why y/n kept having such delusions.

Flashes of what she experienced kept coming to her. How Renesmee’s eyes although sweet were filled with a never ending darkness. Last she seen her eyes they were so dark. But this time they were a lighter color, a brown almost auburn, how could she never notice?

Her hands were practically shaking as she gripped the steering wheel. Driving fast she kept her eyes on the road. As the rain continued to pour down onto the ground. She could see something following her in the corner of her eye. But she dared not to look away from the road.

Although y/n wanted desperately to go back home, to her safe space, in her gut she knew it was a bad idea. Since Kim didn’t want to answer she knew who she could rely upon. Her grandmother Molly, she was a great comfort to her, anytime she was in need she answered. Even now she answered her obscure call.

“Gramma? Are you home?” She called out with clear desperation in her voice. “Yes. Whats wrong?” Was all she said to make y/n melt into a child again. “Nothing… I’m just missing you and wondering if I would be able to sleep over?” Although y/n was trying to be discreet Grandma Molly could sense her true intentions.

“I’ll be home my girl. Drive safe it’s raining out” Grandma Molly knew she’d arrive sooner than later. Y/n needed to grab clothes but she dreaded going back home. Pulling up to her driveway she sat in the car for a moment.

“Shit” y/n said out loud as she groaned. The anxious feeling churning deep in her. It’ll have to be quick but simple in and out. Stepping out she rushed to the door, still worried about the wolf from earlier, almost dropping her keys out of fear.

Getting inside the house it was quiet and undisturbed. Taking a second to pause and wait. A wave of peace fell over her in the moment. Debating if she wanted to stay and just visit her grandmother. Come home sometime later this evening. It’d be great if she could truly relax.

All until she could hear creaking floorboards in the upstairs hallway. The sound of weight shifting around the floors. A sinking feeling made her stop in her tracks.

‘What the fuck?’ She thought frozen in place again, a familiar eerie feeling washed right over her, she knew it wasn’t right to come here. A moment passed as she awaited for something she didn’t know.

Pulling her courage from somewhere in her. She grabbed the baseball bat she left hidden by the door. Y/n marched right up the stairs into her room ready to face whatever it may be. She wasn’t dumb enough to not have a weapon nearby. Especially as a young woman living alone.

Her bedroom window was open slightly with watery tracks everywhere. Nothing was taken or trashed but someone was inside. Only her bedroom was on the second floor. Who knew how to climb and then open her window?

After checking the house top to bottom with no intruder in sight. Y/n packed up a bag to go and see her grandmother. Locking every single window and door in sight before leaving.

Arriving at the house she felt relieved. This was the familiarity she has been searching for. Since y/n moved in the house her grandmother moved in with her sister Melissa. Everyone in the family called her “grandma Milly”. Who was Kim’s direct grandmother, since they were getting older, they decided it best to look after one another.

“My girl” Molly cooed as she hugged y/n tightly. Sinking into her arms she felt the comfort she needed. “What’s wrong?” She immediately asked y/n once they both let go. Shaking her head profusely “Nothings wrong. I just miss you is all” y/n answered.

Grandma Molly looked at her searching for dishonesty. Y/n didn’t feel it’d be appropriate to tell everything so far. She would eventually but for now she just wanted peace. As if she knew grandma Molly didn’t push any further. Instead bringing y/n inside for dinner.

“How are you settling into the house? Are you feeding yourself? You look pale” she fussed over y/n at the table. “I’ve been feeding myself yes—“ she tried to say before grandma Milly cut her off. “Are you sure? You look thinner than last I seen you”

“I’ve been adjusting to living alone. I don’t think I’ve withered away that much” y/n joked but the two didn’t let up. “Hm” was all Milly said as they finished dinner. Eventually she cleared everyone’s dishes. The two could sense something was up with y/n very quickly.

Settling in the living room they spent the evening watching TV together. Checking her phone she wondered about Kim. It was unusual for her to not answer. Chalking it up to her being busy, she wished she would answer, she needed her support.

“I’m going to go rest. My meds are kicking in” Milly said as she left the room. Bidding goodnight to the two girls. Y/n continued to watch tv as her grandma looked over at her with worry.

“My girl are you sure you’re okay? I don’t mind a surprise visit like this. It’s just… You seemed panicked earlier when you called” Grandma Molly pushed her. Seeing it was just the two of them alone y/n sighed in defeat.

“I mean I am fine. It’s just ever since I got here I just… I don’t know” y/n struggled to find the words. “I love the house. I’m very grateful for everything you’ve given me so far. So I don’t want come off as rude”

“I knew it! The house is too much work for you isn’t it? I was worried this would happen but I figured you wanted your own space. Quil was so adamant you get the house when we talked about it—“

“No no that’s not the issue here. The housework I can handle” y/n explained making her grandma sigh in relief. “It’s just ever since I moved in… a lot of stuff has been bothering me—“

“Oh I know you loved your grandfather. It’s a hard loss for everyone and a big adjustment—“

“I mean like actually bothering me” y/n almost spat out making Molly sit up. “What do you mean? I thought I told you to smudge the house after I left. You know it’s important especially since we cleared everything from there. You don’t want something else moving in” Milly explained as y/n sighed deeply. Figuring out the best way to explain.

“I did smudge with sweet grass even. What I’m trying to get at is my dreams have been crazy lately. And I can’t help but feel like they’re trying to tell me something. Show me something anyways…” y/n trailed off unsure on what her grandmother would say.

Molly sat quiet for a moment as she looked at y/n. “What did you see?” She asked as y/n looked up into her eyes. “The first couple of times I’m lost in the woods. I’m being chased or else I’m running to find something. I’m not sure really“

“Oh I’m sure your dreams are just reflecting how you feel here. I’m sure you’re feeling a little overwhelmed by everything” Molly tried to understand. But all y/n did was shake her head.

“I seen grandpa in one of them” y/n said making the expression on Mollys face drop completely. “What happened” she asked with quite a serious tone. “It was… strange to say the least” y/n shivered thinking back on it. Molly awaited for y/n to continue.

“Each time in my dream I’m in the same spot in the forest. Confused and lost. All of a sudden, in this one dream, someone had asked me if I was lost. I looked up and it was grandpa. He laughed, went behind a tree, he came out as his younger self” hearing this made grandma Molly gasp. And tear up at the thought as she covered her mouth.

“Aw well that tells me he’s doing well. Don’t you think so?” She asked y/n who sat quietly. A solemn look on her face told Molly otherwise. Raising her eyebrows at her granddaughter y/n gave in.

“When he left he… he was… I swear he turned into a wolf and ran into the tree line” y/n finally confessed. Y/n expected her gramdma to chalk it up to some crazy dream. That stress had been affecting her and her sleep so of course she’d dream crazy.

Instead grandma Molly sat quiet with a hand on her mouth. Staring off into the distance in deep thought. “Gramma?” She peered curious thinking it’d snap her back to the conversation.

“Have you seen Kim lately? Did she or anyone else come talk to you yet?” She asked making y/n confused. “No she didn’t answer me. What do you mean talk to me yet?” Molly sat up and held y/n’s hand in comfort.

“You must be tired. What with all your stress. For me the dream is just grandfather coming to visit you. You know how he’s always been attached to wolves and their spirit. Rest easy and have some peace of mind” Was all Molly said as she basically dismissed the conversation. Feeling like there was a blockage y/n settled with just going to bed.

There was no dream or nightmare that night as well. Maybe it really was just stress y/n thought. Eating breakfast with her two grandmothers they discussed their day ahead.

“Me and Milly here have to attend a meeting today. You’re welcome to stay here if you want while we’re gone. Fridge is stocked and the TV will be free”

Y/n knew her grandma Molly was a councillor. But grandma Milly wasn’t, she questioned what meeting they would have together, but instead of being too nosey she let it slide. She wasn’t quite sure what grandma Milly did to be honest. Besides bingo and chain smoke everywhere she went.

“Yep you’re lucky my show isn’t on today” grandma Milly teased her making the two chuckle. “No that’s okay grandma I think I ought to head home. There’s some things I left unfinished” y/n picked her fork around her breakfast. She wondered about Kim for some reason.

It was quite unusual for her not to answer y/n, especially since it’s been a whole day later, surely she wasn’t upset at her? Or even worse she was in some danger? It seemed ridiculous but y/n knew Kim was never not on her phone. The ignorance from Kim seemed deliberate.

“Well you’re always welcome to stay again anytime. Me and this girl aren’t usually this busy most days”

“I’m glad I came, I really needed this visit, thank you guys” y/n smiled at the two. Finishing up their breakfast the three departed on their separate ways. Y/n wasn’t lying about having a great visit. It’s just she left with more questions than answers.

Would nothing explain these crazy delusions she’d been having? Perhaps she needed to just focus on self care, cut out her stress somehow, to make it all stop. But it all didn’t explain the possible intruder in her home.

It wasn’t like she just dreamt up the wet muddy tracks in her room. But really what could she do about it? She lived alone and it wasn’t like her grandmother could do anything. She’d tell Quil but what would he even say or do? Most likely just call her crazy and be bothered she made him check the house.

Getting back to the house she sat in the car for a moment. Her beloved childhood home was starting to feel different. She knew the energy would change once it was just her in the house. She didn’t want to think it, but sadly, it was starting to feel unsafe.

With a deep sigh she stepped into the house. Pausing for a moment to hear anything. Doing a quick perimeter check there was no one around. In moments such as this she wish she had someone to rely on.

That evening she did what she could to cheer herself up. Deciding to clean up her room and area. Before doing a complete pampering routine, a hot bubble bath, fit with a sheet mask to keep her skin soft. Doing what she could to also make herself feel comfortable being here alone.

Watching reruns of her favourite tv shows, she kept all the TVs in the house on, as a way to fill the eerie silence. Cooking her favourite foods she settled in somewhat. Praying that her windows would stay shut tonight.

As she slept she had a very lucid dream that freaked her out. It started out with her in laying bed like usual. Opening her eyes a few times to her room like normal. Until in the corner stood a dark shadow, a woman with long hair stood, just out of sight. But y/n knew she was there watching.

As her vision faded in and out the woman eventually stepped out. The light from the window shined down on her. Only to reveal the one and only Renesmee, her eyes dark with a straight expression, her mouth slowly started to open wide.

Revealing small but sharp fangs it made y/n startle out of her sleep. As she sat up Renesmee wasn’t in the room as she thought. Her window wasn’t open and there weren’t any tracks on the floor. But her heart was racing more than ever.

It was five am and y/n couldn’t go back to sleep for the life of her. She was way too freaked out to even think of lying down. Instead she hyped her self up with many cups of coffee. She did message Quil to try and hang but no answer from that guy either.

She was already not trying to overthink about the bonfire. But now she was starting to wonder did she mess up somehow? Or maybe their friends didn’t really care about her? She wasn’t sure but it was unusual for those two to ignore her.

Everything so far was making her feel so isolated. Was it truly a good idea to come back to the rez? This was what she was trying to escape, being alone in isolation, but it seems it what’s she’s walked into. Maybe even a worser case now with the delusions.

All day she spent it on the couch, the heavy rain seemed to match her mood, as she anxiously awaited nightfall. What would await for her when she fell asleep? She didn’t even want to fathom it. Listening to the rain pour down onto the house it calmed her slightly.

Watching the tv she began to slowly drift off to sleep. Feeling somehow safer on the couch with the dim light of the grey clouds. Eyes and body heavy as her eyes fluttered shut. It’d be best to get sleep while she could. Hoping not to see Renesmee once more.

Suddenly someone was knocking and pounding on her door. In a very erratic and panicked manner it shocked her. Sitting up she checked her phone but there were no messages. No one called her either it confused her who would be there.

“Please! Open up it’s me!” The girl begged as y/n recognized the voice. Rushing to open the door to reveal a rain soaked Kim. Standing there with tears streaming as she sobbed hard. “Kim?” y/n asked worried and concerned. “I need you” Kim sobbed out as she grabbed y/n’s shoulders.

Chapter 3 is finished 🤍 Finally settled into my home after moving in a short while ago. Got caught up with writing more. I wanted to write more insight into an outsiders perspective. How shifters and vampires would look like to ordinary people. Especially the tribe’s over all insight. The next few chapters will be interesting🤍

[tearsinthewake]

Shouto love for Touya is so deep to me (it gets downplayed alot because lack of connection but here me out) it's BECAUSE of he lack of connection that it is so strong. He is able to see Touya for who he is now. Nothing clouds him. There is no past version that he clings too, the Touya in the present is the version that he knows. The most self destructive and violent version, the one that didn't see him as a person, just a puppet, the one who thinks Shouto had it all and took everything from him. The one who wanted him dead just to make their dad suffer, yet Shouto STILL wanted to get to know him, find out more, made a move specifically to neutralize the flames. Stop Touya from killing himself. Shouto complimented Touya firepower more than once in the final. Always was watching him. Touya had someone watching him this whole time. Now it wasn't the person Touya wanted to see him but it was someone he needed. He just realized it too late. Shouto batted a thousand for someone that did not value him at all. If that isn't pure and deep love for a sibling than I don't know what is.

you're so right, thank you for sending this. shouto with touya feels like the definition of "show me your worst and i'll love you regardless" or in some ways, because of, even. i can see a part of shouto admiring/being proud of touya for not taking the abuse of their childhood in stride, for not accepting the situation and living with it, the way shouto chose at first as his survival method. i also think touya must not consider shouto loving him a possibility, because the memories he has of shouto are filled with jealousy, bitterness and hate. so how could a child he loathed so much possibly feel anything but contempt towards him in return? or indifference, at best, since he is "the perfect child" touya could not be, so why should he spare a single thought towards him? meanwhile i think shouto grew up with very scattered, if any proper memories of touya and the heavy silence he left behind. he grew up with a dead older brother, a topic swept under the carpet but still managing to make the floorboards creak. he grew up wanting to Know. what did touya think about late at night? what shapes would he see in the clouds? shouto probably would find a new interest, learn about a new topic in school, and wonder if touya liked it too, if touya learned it too, if he was anything like touya, if his brother's ghost lingered somewhere behind his shoulder, in the dirt under his nails. it's harrowing, it's like they're haunting each other but in complete opposite ways.

[noihavenosanitythanksforasking]

broski, you keep saying mike is unable to say i love you to his gf, but at the end he finally said it (9 times) so whats your point literally?

you are holding onto old crap, and beating a dead horse. He said he loves her multiple times, boys are generally hesitant in expressing their emotions (patriarchy asks them to be tough ,not open up and everything), but he overcame that by the end of the season

do you think mileven is gonna break up after how explicitly he told el he loves her???? el also loves mike very much, its just a fight she's upset about, but people can FORGIVE and move on from past misunderstandings you know? el is veryymuch in love with mike since season 1, she can forgive mike for his one mistake (he basically rectified it too at the end of the day)

y'all keep saying mike gets upset when will doesn't talk to him but at the end of season 4 mike is upset that el is not talking to him much because she's grieving

ahhhh this is so exciting!!! i feel like ive made it or smth!

sorry for my late response i was in my physics class 😔

now, we dont KNOW for SURE what mike truly feels. you dont know. i dont know. no one will ever know until s5 comes out. however i have my speculations and so do you. and thats okay!! we dont have to agree :3 your allowed to believe whatever you want in regards to mike and els relationship. it doesnt affect me at all.

however, sense you app care about what i have to say so much i will yapp somemore about what i think. you dont have to agree with me. in fact ik you wont. and thats okay, clearly you are insecure enough about your own opinion that you feel the need to go to the other side and argue with someone in their anons. bc if your opinions were solid and unshakable youd have your url showing. but i get it i really do :)

anywayssss. charecters can lie.

just like people can lie.

i was in a romantic relationship with someone for about a year. and throughout that time, i told them i loved them multiple times. did i? no. did i want to? yes. i wanted to be in love with them. they were very very important to me and when they asked me out, i thought to myself 'well i do really like this person. why not?'

i was not in love with this person. i did not have romantic feelings for them. but i convinced myself i did. in the end, one day we were sitting next to each other and it just hit me. i didnt want to be here anymore. i had met someone else and was developing a crush on them at the time. so i broke up with them.

all this to say, mike can lie. hes not a high fantasy elf. something i feel is a big disconnect between bylers and milevens is that milevens tend to read most things at face value. just bc you say you love someone doesnt mean you do.

as for the patriarchy comment, mikes story line has never had to do with being tough, or not being man enough. he repeatedly says that he doesnt want to be popular, he doesnt care about fitting in. ofc this can still be a factor but i doubt its a huge point of his character arc. if it was they would have made a point of adressing him struggling with it before this.

on your point about moving on from fights, your so right about that. i dont in the slightest think that elmike are going to be on BAD terms in endgame but i dont think they'll be on romantic terms. even if byler isnt canon, and mike is straight. i still believe that.

as for his mistake being rectified. girl what u yappin ab. no it wasnt. if it was why was el not talking to mike in the van on the way back to hawkins

mike says in the last episode that they werent really talking. a little bit but not much. you could say that el was greiving max. but el DIDNT KNOW max was in a coma. when they get back to hawkins, dustin has a line where he explicitly says

"oh you guys dont know" in refrence to max.

is el traumatized? definitely!!! but she doesnt know max is in a coma. and even if she did, why wouldnt el seek comfort in her bf if they had fixed everything???

as for your last point, yeah mike is upset about el not talking to him. duh. however lets compare.

when mike is mad at will for not paying attention to him at rink o mania he actively brings it up. he actively pursues will and expresses his frustration over will being dismissive. he is visably upset. on the other hand, in the last ep of s4, mike doesnt even bring up el until will does. he seems mildly annoyed and confused about the situation and makes no moves to pursue her or seek out resolution. he makes no moves to comfort her about max ever. he doesnt walk with her, he doesnt hug her. nothing. the only affection between then is when EL puts her head on mikes sholder. mike makes no moves to comfort her more but he doesnt push her away. this is also right after mike activly began walking sideways to be able to stand next to will when there was an open space for him to stand right next to el im front of him. odd.

also you do realize that someone can be upset at the prospect of two people that are important to them being upset at them

its not will or el

its never been will or el

this has always been about mike and how he handles conflict and shit.

anywayssss my hands r going to freeze off bc its like 19 F outside and i wrote this walking across campus

hope this helps 💙💛

[annunen]

NHLWAM S12 E7: Niko Mikkola & Eetu Luostarinen

I translated the highlights of the video for any florida finns fans to enjoy.

TLDR: the finns love chirping each other and Lundy needs a babysitter.

Manninen and Putkonen are the NHLWAM hosts.

Under the cut <3

Manninen: We've got two Finnish Fort Lauderdale locals here. Niko Mikkola, new guy, and Eetu Luostarinen, who's already one of the vets. So what's up?

Mikkola: Nothing bad, getting to know new places and the sun shines. Great people here.

Luostarinen: It's always fun to get more finns here. Always welcome.

Manninen: Eetu, how would you describe Niko as a person and a teammate?

Luostarinen: He's a chill Oulu guy. Chill company, easy to hang out with him, he gets along with everyone. Really nice.

Manninen: Do you agree?

Luostarinen: Sure, i'll take what i'm given.

Manninen: Counterquestion for you.

Mikkola: We've known each other pretty long. He's one of those Savo guys, a little twisted like they all are. But there's only great guys here, like i said, so it's been easy to come here.

Manninen: You got pretty lucky, your training center moved from the middle of nowhere (lit. horse ass) to the neighbor. You could bike there, have you ever done that?

Mikkola: I don't have a bike but i've been planning to buy one. It's 5 minutes away so it would be pretty nice to bike there.

Manninen: Or an electric scooter! Has anyone ever come with one?

Mikkola: No, but Kaapo Kakko always used one in NYC. I'd walk and he'd drive past me.

Luostarinen: I haven't biked there either but some guys have electric bikes. And golf carts, pretty cool that you can come to the rink with a golf cart.

Manninen: Now that's style!

-----

Manninen: I asked "Lunkka" Lundell this same question, now i want to ask you Eetu too. Looking at your points, this season hasn't been as good as the last. The big crowds only look at points, they're thinking "what's up with Eetu, he hasn't scored points". So what do YOU think, has this season actually been worse than the last, or have you actually gone forward as a player?

Luostarinen: I wouldn't say it's been worse than last season, pretty equal. Just haven't had those successes. There's also a lot happening in the background, in the game. I play a lot shorthanded too, i've got to take credit for that. If i can't get confidence from points, i have to find it somewhere else in the small things.

Manninen: Are the points so important? I don't remember if you lead the league right now, but as a team you're playing really well.

Luostarinen: It's a team game, if your team is doing well, you're doing something right, and you have to be happy about that. But if i have less points than Mikkola, that's when i should be worried.

Mikkola: Why am I suddenly being attacked?

Putkonen: God damn, throwing you under the boat, right there under that Catamaran.

Manninen: What about you Niko, do you ever set - even though you're known as a defensive brush, let's not say broom (that's Hakanpää's "nickname") - do you set some personal goals for points when starting the season?

Mikkola: Defensive brush, i'll take that. Good name. I don't really set any goals for points. The beginning of the season was pretty wild for me, but now i've returned to a normal phase. Probably getting close to 30 straight pointless games now.

Luostarinen: Yeah, early in the season they were throwing the nickname "Niko Norris" around there.

Putkola: You were on a phase for 80 points.

Mikkola: It was crazy, but now we're back to the roots. You can't only get confidence from points. You need some guys who play shorthanded, keep the own net clear. Take some confidence from those.

-----

(Someone walks by with a dog.)

Putkonen: Cool dog. How's your dog doing?

Luostarinen: Yeah, we have a new one in the family - cavapoo, it's a cavalier poodle mix. And then we have Rose, she's a little over 4 years old now.

Putkonen: Who in your team would you not let dogsit your dogs?

Luostarinen: Lunkka. Even if we speak the same language, i wouldn't trust him with them.

Manninen: Is Lunkka your team's little rascal?

Luostarinen: He is, a little. You need to watch what he's doing sometimes.

Mikkola: But he's so young still.

Manninen: You're allowed to be careless when you're young. We've been careless too.

Putkonen: ...older too.

-----

Putkonen: Roberto Luongo was in the net at your practice. He still catches pretty well.

Mikkola: Yeah. I've said that he'd only need one training camp and he could play an NHL game again. I can't score on him either.

Luostarinen: Best possible EBUG.

-----

Putkonen: Let's take some fan questions. Does Sasha "whip" (reprimand) you?

Luostarinen: No, just constructive criticism.

Mikkola: He's flicked me a couple times with a video where I ice the puck or something. More as a joke. He doesn't really "whip" (reprimand) me.

Manninen: But he gives that to Lunkka!

Mikkola: Lunkka is "in his teeth" a little. In a good way.

Putkonen: Yeah, he was already the last time we visited. Gave him an earful from some celly, telling him "don't jump to the glass, only juniors celly like that".

-----

[grapecaseschoices]

what form of love do you embody?

quiz here, tagging: @sustainably-du-mortain @ava-du-mortain @mt07131 @sunshineandviolets @serenpedac @queerdetectiveblue @galpal95 @writerray @icanmakewords @thee-morrigan @quinnorion

Aleena:

love as violence

[ love as bloodshed, crimson as a knife slipped between your ribs ] when ocean vuong said "to arrive at love, then, is to arrive through obliteration" and when franz kafka said "you are the knife i turn inside myself; that is love" and when ada limon said "how do you love? like a fist. like a knife" and when richard siken said "sorry about the blood in your mouth. i wish it was mine"

love as hunger [I think this is better]

[ love as ravenous desire, love as something fragrant and home-built ] when florence welch said "we all have a hunger" and when jenny slate asked "who will come into my kitchen and be hungry for me?" and when violet trefusis wrote "I want you hungrily, frenziedly. passionately. I am starving for you..." and when anne carson asked "what are we made of but hunger and rage?

---

Tristan:

love as tenderness

[ love as gentleness after a lifetime of cruelty ] when ocean vuong said "sometimes being offered tenderness feels like the very proof that you've been ruined" and when pablo neruda said "like a jar you housed the infinite tenderness and the infinite oblivion shattered you like a jar" and when anais mitchell wrote "all i've ever known is how to hold my own, and now i wanna hold you, too”

[xe also got love as being known, which as a concept does fit but the qoutes don't strike me as hard for xyr ships. But it MIGHT fit xyr friendships--- hrm..]

----

Richard:

love as being known

[ love is knowing all of someone and loving them anyway ] when tim kreider said "if we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known" and when joe wright said "The idea that these two people know each other, knew each other when they first saw each other. That they recognized each other from their future" and when micah nemerever said "it was a relief and a horror to be known so perfectly"

love as light [this works best]

[ love as a luminous force—warm, radiant, and golden ] when mary oliver wrote "light of the world hold me” and when charles bukowski said “I look at her and light goes all through me” and when david viscott said “to love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides”and when e. e. cummings said “lovers alone wear sunlight”

[benevolenterrancy]

hi! I recently came across your tgcf fics, and I wanted to say you’re a phenomenal creator. the recovery series fic and the gloves fic and just all of them. thank you for your content and great attention to detail.

do you have any thoughts/hcs on FXMQ and Xie Lian you’d be willing to share? within the original story or the universes of your fics!

Thank you so much, I'm glad you're enjoying them! (ﾉ*^▽^*)ﾉ.｡:*☆

hmm, random thoughts about the FXMQ... a silly headcanon: Feng Xin has very much been hoisted by his own petard by heckling Mu Qing! That is to say, he'll harass Mu Qing relentlessly about something stupid only to be confronted with a similar situation and realise that there's absolutely NO way he can act in anyway similar to Mu Qing or he'll never hear the end of it.

(For example, he has tolerated some truly atrocious divine statues in the past because he's heckled Mu Qing so much about how picky he is with his divine statues that there's no WAY he can say ANYTHING without seeing that smug bastard's face in his head so he just has to bite his tongue and tolerate some unspeakably ugly statues.)

Mu Qing doesn't generally suffer from similar overthinking (he'll just prepare to kick FX's ass if he dares to say anything about it) except for things more directly related to himself. I think he genuinely finds sewing/embroidery/etc rather relaxing work but he'd rather die than have anyone ever see him do it because he's made such a big deal about not doing that sort of "servant" work anymore.

(He actually really enjoyed stitching Ruoye back together because it gave him the perfect excuse -- he's returning a favour!! and Xie Lian is hopeless!! of course he had to!! -- and he secretly considered using white thread to embroider some invisible little designs just because he doesn't quite want to stop... only he knew he'd get caught if he messed with Xie Lian's spiritual device like that and gave up the idea)

[cactusdodes]

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[yongseungkim]

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[myheartxmyman]

'Let me be the own to show you a love that doesn't hurt. One where you won't have to heal from'

[ravegore]

Ok now that my rage is mostly past i am in more lalaland. Glad to put my energy towards being happy and improving my life with my friends that i love and trust

[whimsicmimic]

once again thinking about my post-trimax legato somehow miraculously survives despite everything au and vashgato agenda aka The Worlds Most Miserable Roadtrip