#they might be when im done with this huge huge project

[bogfaery]

me and my gf if we were in fallout new vegas

[chilope]

im trying to decide how long i need to wait for my shitty coworker to do the one (1) thing i asked him to before i go absolutely sicko mode

[stealingpotatoes]

POTES SEMI-LIVEBLOGS KOTOR!

ive been writing my thoughts in the notes app but due to popular demand (one person asked for it) i'm posting my liveblogging DO NOT SAY/TAG/COMMENT SPOILERS PLEASE i read tags

warning im a yapper, im 10 hours in and theres a lot already (separated into sessions):

SESSION 1

whos this clown i thought i would be playing as revan

ive been too spoiled by dragon age origins this character creator sucks ass

only human???? ): fr?? ill just imagine her different in my brain or some shit

my life is being mansplained to me. is this bad writing or do i have amnesiacs

hes meta now??? hes talking abt the screen controls?????

omg a jedi and an evil jediii

omg their asses suckedddd they both died immediately

i <3 bringing a sword to a gun fight

WHY R THERE SO MANY SITH WHERE IS TJE RULE OF TWO

i clicked a workbench and it said lightsaber so either i get a lightsaber or i get a jedi friend whose lightsaber i can steal if im careful

I assume u play as revan in kotor2 so im gonna buy that now so i can play it when im done playing w this clown

i got light side points im getting a good grade in game morality which is something both normal to want and possible to achieve

everyone keeps saying revan is dead but thats my friend revan from tumblr hes clearly alive. or they???

my characters ass is distractingly present onscreen

huge fan of the way everyone collapsed drunk what the FUCK was in that wine

ok these sith ppl might be the bad guys but their armour is DRIPPY AS FUCK

ideologically i dont agree w the sith but they kinda went off w the fits

googling how to become a sith without being evil cause they have Drip

SESSION 2

i paid £1.19 to see revan he better show up in this game at some point

all these sith n i still cant find one revan….. stop faking ur death rn come out n talk to me babygirl this isnt like u….

why can i be light/dark side if im not a jedi. give me a laser sword

maybe this jedi gyal will know where revan is faking his death. or give me a fuckin lightsaber PLEASEEE

was just thinking 'does this game have romance' and then carth called me beautiful. i dont think im gonna romance anyone until i get this amnesia sorted

why is carth questioning me so much abt the crash im pretty sure i have amnesia

why tf did the jedi lady have me transferred to this ship are we in lesbians with each other???

carth's not wrong it is suspicious but i lowkey have amnesia so i coulda done that i coulda not

a lot of clone wars voice actors in this. was lucasfilm so broke in the 2000s that they could only afford the same 3 VAs for every project

mission is 14??????? we need to get my girl back in school

SESH 3

tale as old as time i fucking suck at racing games

ok i didnt realise you had to mash click i won

REVAN!!! REVAN!!!!!!!!!

why am i dreaming abt revan tho. real as hell but ?????

lmao cringe revan getting blown up. i thought the jedi beat rev-meister in a fight but no. accident

"such visions are often a sign of force sensitivity" COOL YAY GIVE ME A LIGHTSABER

BASTILLE LOST HER FUCKING LIGHTSABER??

CARTH IS RIGHT THATS LIKE DAY ONE JEDI SHIT. ok i still love her even tho shes a bit of a bitch and also doesnt have a saber

if we find a lightsaber im taking it first tho

whys carth getting weird abt me being weird that he doesnt trust me. i just wanna be friends mate

SESH IV: A NEW HOPE

'i mean no disrespect, but perhaps one of the male slaves could serve you better' i went in here to start a slave revolution and instead got called a lesbo

LMAO THERES A SPICE LAB???? WALTER WHITE WHERE ARE YOU

thats insaneee they blew up BILLIONS of people to get to one jedi?????? these sith arent fucking around theyre scary

UM THIS IS CRAZY GRAPHICS THE LIGHTING IS CLEARER/DARKER WHEN I COVER THE SUN W THE SHIP EDGE?? 2003 IS THE YEAR OF THE FUTURE

someone just called me padawan i kinda assumed i was in my late 20s do i just have baby vibes

all the jedi in the movies are so chill but every kotor jedi i've met so far has been a bit of a bitch

YO THEY HAVE A YODA!!! its not THE yoda but

cool so these guys are just the regional managers at best. your asses are not the council

why can everyone smell my force juju so strong

THATS STRAIGHT UP YODA'S CLONE WARS VA

why does fake yoda not blink both eyes at the same time. im calling him master tortimer he reminds me of the animal crossing mayor

bastila there was no need for such a fancy bow

malak is like evil aang

revan is so much shorter than malak omg

are me and bastila sharing dreams. are we both obsessed w revan

poor mission ):

WHAT WAS MASTER TORTIMER ABT TO SAY????????? EVER SINCE WHEN??? DID WE KNOW EACH OTHER BEFORE MY AMNESIACS????? DID BASTILA TELL U SMTHN MORE WHEN I WASNT IN THE ROOM???

im intrigued i like this whole hidden jedi shtick its very compelling. so is whatever theyre hiding from me

kinda surprising no jedi found me before tho given my force juju is so strong

IM A LEGIT JEDI NOW??? SICK!!!

does revan rlly not have pronouns i thought that was a tumblr thing but they straight up are a nonbinary icon ive never heard a single pronoun used. revan's pronouns are revan/revan's

damn revan seems so cool in these stories (charismatic war hero that convinced their troops to join them as conqueror?? julius caesar) and yet all we've seen them do onscreen is get blown up and die by accident

A YEAR AGO? the way they were talking i assumed revan died like. a week before the game started

master uh i forgot his name he has martin scorcese vibes said revan was a paragon of the jedi so what im getting is that all jedi gifted kids turn evil

even if i didnt know revan as a tumblr darling id KNOW revan has to be alive somewhere they way everyone talks abt them is too cool for a character who exploded and died. i think. i hope. I PAID £1.19 TO MEET REVAN

'only you and bastila can stop malak' seriously????? just us two?? ive been a jedi for like, 6 minutes and you guys keep calling bastila young???? do you guys not wanna help??

omg im getting carth to traumadump! <3

HE WAS ON REVAN'S ARMY>??

i totally knew the jedi code and did not have to google it whatsoever

they rlly said fuck going to illum heres a crystal from the bin

he told me id be a great sentinel and i was like i know but i want blue cause i dont wanna be matchies with bastila

OGH!!! I HAVE A LIGHTSABER!!!! THIS IS GAME OF THE YEAR!!!!

omg i made my lightsaber perfectlyyy which is rare <3 getting a good grade in jedi

maybe i was a travelling lightsaber salesman before my amnesia

seriously though WHO was i everyone's kinda stopped acting like i have amnesia since the first mission BUT IVE PLAYED DRAGON AGE THAT GIVES YOU OPPORTUNITIES TO RP UR PAST. THIS DOESNT. EITHER THIS GAME IS BAD (but i love it so its not) OR I HAVE RETROGRADE AMNESIA

also everyone keeps being like "Oh ur force juju is so strong" AND NOBODY FOUND ME TIL NOW??? suspicious. did getting a really bad concussion activate the force in me

im too confused and amnesiac'd to think abt anything except the fact i have a glowing stick now

FSESH FIVE:

big fan of using aliens to avoid having to get VAs to read every line

oh so carth's boyfriend saul betrayed him and became leader of the sith fleet so he has trust issues

well he needs to calm down. i can't betray him cause i dont know what the fuck is happening

yooo i love the design differences on the mandalorians

oh my god this lady wanted to fuck her droid cause it was her husband's. and then it killed itself. wtf. game of the year tho

wtf they jebaited this juhani person into going dark side but then i talked her out of it. that seems a bit mean of them

i hope she can join my party she looks too unique to be a random npc

ive been thinking and I might be going crazy but there was a loading screen tip ages ago that said jedis could wipe ppl's mind and all i thought at the time was 'fuck the shitshow acolyte didnt make that up'. but what if one of them wiped MY memory and i used to be a jedi or smthn ????????

cause they keep being like ur weirdly good at this??? did bastila steal my memories??????????

I KNOW I HAVE AMNESIA!! EVEN IF EVERYONE DOESN'T BRING IT UP BC THEYRE PROBABLY TRYING TO SAVE MY FEELINGS

if i dont have amnesia and im just deeping the fact the opening had my life being mansplained then im gonna look real stupid

anyway time 2 go to the fuckshit ruins cave where r-dog and malak went to

"it must be referring to revan. the dark lord and malak--" revan's pronouns are revan/thedarklord

bastila said theres no mention of the Builders in the archives. does she just know every text off by heart

THIS DROID IS 20K YEARS OLD ???

omg i can equip 2 lightsabers at once. game of the year

OK I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I SAID ABOUT THE AMNESIA BASTILA IS ASKING ME QUESTIONS ABOUT MY BACKGROUND THAT I CAN ANSWER. I REPEAT I DO NOT HAVE AMNESIA

ok i didnt get choices and i didnt really uh… say anything that i didnt already get told im still not ruling out amnesia

also booo i didnt get to find out how old i was

master tortimer rlly looks like the ultimate ketamine yoda

LMAO THERE WAS A DIALOGUE OPTION 2 CALL JUHANI A CATGIRL

omg kashyyk from jedi fallen order!!!

I CAN UPGRADE MY LIGHTSABER THIS IS JUST LIKE JFO

omg this ship is fun i wish everyone had personalised bunk spaces like hfw… a game which came out 19 years after this i should probably just take what we have

im gonna start w manaan cause im p sure thats what B-dog said n its the same language the droid was speakin

omg hyperspace from star wars

THE GUY THE BUILDING FELL ON???

am i having dreams abt revan bc bastila killed revan and im connected to her this is so roundabout

maybe i'd sleep better if my ponytail wasnt clipping into the pillow

[kiwi accent] six

carth needs a xanax every time i think we're friends he stops trusting me

also lmao he actually pointed out how wild it was that a day one padawan is being sent on this uber important mission and HES RIGHT IT IS WEIRD!! i thought it was main character logic but he's calling it out

i really really like the sense of unease that's setting in like at first i thought it was just cause im not used to 2003 games but no this is on purpose bc carth my friend carth keeps calling it out

THERE IS A CHILD ON MY SHIP ??????????????????

lmao the representative for menaan is roland wann. its like poetry it rhymes

there are no cameras in the sith hangar <3 rookie error i can commit crimes now

bastila's favourite hobby is getting shot and walking into my grenades

this isnt a combat system this is a missing system

I GOT ARRESTED???? IM JUST A GIRL

nvm i had a datapad that said the sith were evil so theyve let me go free and we're besties

why do i feel like ive just walked into an underwater horror mission

this suit waddles at the speed of a penguin on fentanyl

i tamed the beastie this is like how to train your dragon

MALAK FIRED ON REVAN?????? WERENT THEY BEST FRIENDS???????

but maybe revan escaped when bastila wasnt looking THEYRE FINE THEYRE OUT THERE SOMEWHERE. I BELIEVE

so hopefully when we run into revan they'll be like agh i changed my ways cause of the being shot thing and they'll be my bestie

great news i successfully communicated w the ship child and gave her back to dantooine. my girl has shockingly good linguisitics skills

bastila is so dour "oh watch out for the dark side" GIRL I AM. I NEED TO GET THE BEST GRADE IN GAME MORALITY

ok OFF TO KASHYYK i hope cal kestis is there… thru the force i guess… bc he wont be born for another 4000 years but its whatever

omg you'll never guess what. another vision. wow its one of the thangs. cool this is a tomorrow me problem

[cryptidmickle]

hi your amnesiac au has me in SHAMBLES plsplspls im crying sobbing stabbing the floor

im so glad i discovered your blog 😭 your art is so lovely and nice and just. Yes. eats everythibg snd leaves no crumbs /silly

PLEASE i require more info about amnesiac au.

could this happen to the other Beasts? if it can happen to Shadow Milk, it might be possible with the others, should their Ancient counterparts get lucky with their attacks

does Shadow Milk gradually become less of an ass? does he seek answers as to Why he was so awful? does he care at all?

how horrified is he at the revelation that he was such a huge issue for the faeries + PV, if at all? he already doesn't know much about himself, so would not knowing he was such a problem, such an awful person, terrify him, considering he doesn't remember any of this?

idk. i personally would be so so incredibly horrified and terrified that i was so terrible and..well, monstrous, if i may. i kinda project onto Shadow Milk im ngl so that's probably why im saying any of this

IM SORRY THIS IS SO LONG im just so,,, AAAUAGTHYBHLRHTLBFLTTKG /POS abt this entire au. hoenstly it inspires me; both your art and your ideas and concepts

hope you have a good day!! stay safe /gen

SOBS IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE THIS AU!!! i read all the tags on my posts btw so if any of u went crazy in there i saw it and went crazy w u. im deranged and mentally ill if u cant tell.

i would say the cracking of the souljam and loss of power is very possible for the other beasts! the amnesia however is a Very special case of pure vanilla fucking up the spell he cast

the other beasts would be depowered and much weaker, but retain their memories...... actually, would their corruption break as well since the souljam disconnected entirely from them? hm, i think redemption would be more possible if an ancient got a lucky shot, in that case

shadow milk does in fact become less of a jerk! what with no longer being secluded in a spire losing his mind and sense of identity all by himself, his personality is forced to become. eh. LESS THORNY.

pure vanilla is socializing him like a dog and he is NOT enjoying it. but i am. put that guy in situations.

shadow milk does in fact seek answers to why he did so many terrible things! he knows his... current personality isn't the greatest, but he can't imagine doing some of the things described

he feels a certain disconnect to the him others describe terrorizing them to the him of present, while he feels bad for what happened to them he doesn't really feel apologetic because was it really him? how's he supposed to know?

should he feel sorry because it technically was him, just.. evil? would that excuse it if he doesn't feel sorry at all?

this is where shadow milk and white lily have similar dilemmas because they both have previously done terrible things to others, especially pure vanilla. they feel bad about it, they dont wanna hurt him or others like that ever again

but then this is where they separate because shadow milk doesn't feel at fault, he doesn't remember doing all those things, he doesn't even know who that was! you want me to grovel forever about it? pathetic, what's done is done anyways, why not try to do something now?

white lily absolutely despises that mindset as she's competing with pv over who can hate themselves more, and she is winning. she thinks they both deserve to repent forever for their crimes but is constantly reminded of the fact that she remembers but shadow milk doesn't! she knows what she did, why she did it, it was bad and terrible, but she understands and that's what's important and she must repent for it

shadow milk doesn't know, he doesn't know anything at all and theres even more that they can't tell him as he's apparently been evil for centuries. it's hard to argue that he needs to feel bad when the personalities are truly separated.

......i went on a ramble again.

he doesn't feel bad about what he did but he is in fact, very unnerved that he may be capable of those actions again, and with pure vanilla trying to teach him to be good and kind its...... panic inducing sometimes, that maybe he can do something terrible again, that the evil is possibly just lurking under the surface and hes fooling himself and everyone around him

[haza1ll]

animation for THE NEON VOIDD BABYYYY

this post is for @sugarpasteltmnt

‼️‼️MEGA YAPPING AHEAD PLEASE BEWARE‼️‼️

this might end up being really long and rambly and sappy but maybe not who knows.( it was) (and also featuring numerous spelling errors i am way too tired to fix and i am not re reading what i just wrote) SO. yknow how when chap idek..25(?) came out and i was all like “yeah so i made this animation for TNV and ill drop it when the fic ends” in your ask box? so. I FINISHED IT RAHHH. technically it has been finished since i sent that ask but ohhh my goodness did it need polishing. i haven’t animated in 4 years before that and omg it felt so good getting back into it but IDFK SOMETHING IS STILL NOT UP TO MY STANDARDS. i feel like i could have done so much more with it and i deffo wanted to but as soon as i told myself “oh yeah this is basically done” art block literally sucker punched me in the gut out of NOWHERE. I COULD NOT PICK UP MY I PAD. I COULD NOT DRAW. I WOULD STARE AT THE WIP ANIMATION AND BE UPSET BC I DDINT WANNA WORK ON IT AHH. that goes with saying. i kept having this thought in the back of my head “you need to finish it. you have a wip sitting. finish it. go do it. what are you doing are you STARTING ANOTHER PROJECT??? anddd yeah i got super distracted with other stuff and other projects and then i started spending my free time rewatching 2012 turtles and omg this summer has been a mess. i have all the free time in the world and i choose to be the least productive as possible with it even though i have a job that lets me literally sit on my phone and do whatever i want if no one is there. (i’ve brought my switch to work numerous times ☠️) what i was trying to get at is the fact that TNV has inspired a lot of the old me to come back and i lowk missed her. i really missed the point in all those words up there but im here now so whatever. BUT. TNV made me make a tumblr account, i got back in to animation AND digital art in general, got back into longfics that are ongoing, AND it also helped kickstart ideas for writing. i’ve got so many stories now!! you are such an inspirational person pastels i just- every time i read a new chapter of yours it made me wanna go get up and do something. i wanted to create something. because at the end of each chapter, i would think- “woah. a person out there just wrote this. they just sat down one day and committed. i wanna do that” so i did that. just huge thank you and shoutout to you pastel. like damn. idk no words from me here. just a bunch of platonic hugs and kisses and thankyouthankyouthsnkuou for this lovely heart wrenching but also sweet story. i love this fandom (tmnt) so SO much and i think it’s so awesome how interactive you are with your own personal NV fans. crazy how we’re all here because of a bunch of turtles. 

STUFF ABOUT THE ANIMATION:

okay i really like to talk and if you let me, i will run my mouth. this is the internet so im gonna do just that. so more words for you to read 😁. AHEM. so like i stated before in the genuinely scary mess of words up there, i haven’t touched animation in a while, like, 4 years a while. yes i’ve done digital art here and there along the years, i haven’t been doing it nearly as much as i need to to use some programs to their full potential. layers are still confusing, and don’t even get me started on multiply and all that jazz. shading never comes out right on digital for me, i gotta work that one out. so, for this animation, i decided to go with a very rough style. nothing needed to be perfect, i just wanted to live my little life of trying to experiment with a bunch of different things all at once in one short animatic. I wanted to do that little ball bounce thing all animation artists start with (i kinda included that with the key). i also wanted to have a go at lip sync (no hate it was my first time) and also timing the animation with the music. i wanted to see how smoothly i could move a figure in and out of and out of the screen as well, which honestly, i think that part might be my favorite. i think i did a good job, and thats what matters. the animation itself lost a bunch of quality on importing it- no clue how it happened but now the ending is grainy af. ignore that pls lol- but it was sitting in my flipaclip for god, i dont even know, 3 months now? i kept going back and forth on if i wanted to share it or not, so im throwing it to the wolves and i guess whatrver happrns happens and im good with that. yay. im actually rrwlly tired now sooo *leaves this absolute pile of words with a video attached at your feet and stumbles away quickly*

also i’ve genuinely never posted anything so i’m learning how to use tumblr too ☠️

[httpvomitello]

I usually dont do requests but.. you see, you seem pretty nice for me to NOT ask for something.

Soo, im autistic and i have a HUGE problem with anything that gets sticky or stuff like this, so washing dishes for me makes me very disgusted.

Soo.. could I maybe ask for a fem autistic reader x rottmnt donnie? Like shes just trying to wash dishes but some food just gets in her hand and she just gets all "eww!"

Sorry if this is a bad request, I just rarely see autistic reader stuff. Take your time and I love your tmnt stuff!

Hello, hello! I decided to write this one here, because... Well, as you said, it's a little difficult to find autistic reader request. HOWEVER! This will officially be the last request I will accept from TMNT, because I will stop writing about them for a long time ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ. Anyways, hope you like it ~ ♡♡♡♡

Sensory Overload and Suds *⁠.⁠✧

ROTTMNT Donnie x Autistic!Fem!Reader

The kitchen sink was running, warm water filling the basin as you carefully placed the dirty dishes inside. You never minded washing dishes—when everything went smoothly, at least. The warm water felt nice, and the repetitive motions were calming. But the moment your fingers brushed against something slimy at the bottom of a bowl, a deep, full-body shiver ran through you.

"Eww!" You recoiled so fast you almost knocked the dish rack over, shaking your hand like it was on fire. "Ew, ew, ew, ew!"

From across the lair, Donnie, who had been working on one of his latest tech projects, immediately turned toward the noise. His brow furrowed behind his goggles as he stood up. "Are we under attack? Has one of my brothers done something catastrophic again? Is the kitchen on fire? Because if it is, I swear I will—"

You turned toward him, still shaking your hand in distress. "No, no, it's worse!"

"Worse than the kitchen being on fire?" He asked dryly, making his way over.

You turned the sink off and backed away from it like it had personally offended you. "I touched…something."

Donnie tilted his head. "Something?"

You shuddered again, rubbing your hands against your shirt as if that could erase the sensation. "Something slimy. And now I feel it. It's everywhere. It's like it's still on my skin even though it's not. I hate it."

Ah. Sensory overload. Donnie knew how that was.

"Alright, stand back, dearest," Donnie said, dramatically cracking his knuckles. "I shall now engage in a high-stakes battle against the revolting entity that dares disturb you."

You gave him a flat look. "Don, it's just food gunk."

"A heinous foe, indeed," he continued, rolling up nonexistent sleeves before grabbing a pair of dish gloves from under the sink and slipping them on. "Fear not, for I am well-equipped to vanquish it."

Despite the lingering feeling of grossness still on your hands, you snorted. He always did this—turning small moments into theatrical productions. You appreciated it, though. It made things easier, made you feel less silly for being overwhelmed by something others might see as insignificant.

Donnie rinsed out the offending dish, making sure there were no traces of slimy remnants left before setting it aside. He then turned to you and dramatically held out his hand. "There. The beast has been slain. Shall I escort you to the hand soap to ensure no remnants remain?"

You rolled your eyes but took his hand anyway, letting him guide you to the sink. He turned the water on for you, and you immediately scrubbed your hands under the warm stream, sighing in relief as the sensation finally faded.

"Feeling better?" he asked, watching as you meticulously cleaned every finger.

You nodded, glancing at him. "Yeah. Thanks, Don."

He gave you a little smirk and pressed a kiss to the top of your head. "Anytime, my dear. My talents extend far beyond the realm of science—I am also a certified rescuer of distressed damsels suffering from unfortunate dish-related incidents."

You flicked water at him. "You're so dramatic."

"And you love it."

You rolled your eyes again, but you couldn't stop the small smile forming on your lips. "Yeah. I do."

[bonefall]

Is Sandgorse still abusive in BB? If so does he still save Sparrow? Idk I think it'd be a neat thing for Talltail to brood on and move past once realizing the truth. Like just because your abuser did a "Good Thing tm" doesn't mean you have to forgive them or that all of a sudden it excuses their past a tion towards you.

Or did you remove this plot beat entirely? If so I don't blame you :P

Weird that Tumblr search isn't giving me all the stuff I tagged :/ hopefully after finals are done I can compile a 1st draft/The Story So Far for the rework of Tallstar’s Revenge

It's now called TALLSTAR’S COLLAPSE. It is actually a story I am rewriting with tragedy in mind. It's about Talltail fleeing WindClan with his starcrossed lover, Sparrow, only to eventually be drawn back to it where he becomes a perpetuator of all the things that made him leave.

To answer your question; Yes, and. Sandgorse is abusive and there's a LOT of nuance to this situation. I'm not sure if he still saves "Sparrow" though because I have waaaay more of a point in mind with Tallstar’s tumultuous relationship to him.

Summary of changes,

Tallstar's Collapse

Sparrow is the Clanmew name Jake takes when his group interacts with WindClan. His first language is actually a dialect of Townmew!

(Also Firestar has no known father in BB)

His group is nomadic. They go from place to place trading goods. I need a name for both them and their cultural "cluster" but in my head, Jake's family is the Algernauts because Algernon is the current leader

It's important the Algernauts are extremely endearing because leaving them is VERY painful

(and something i want to frame as the wrong choice for tallstar, emotionally)

WindClan is in a very sensitive period of its history. Before Tallstar was born, Heatherstar began the Mothermouth Moorland War, to take a very large parcel of land from ShadowClan. A good 1/5th of it.

Naturally this is a huge project and incredibly ambitious. Sacrifices Must Be Made

The sacrifice she has chosen to make is the death of tunneling. Because she's smothering it.

Tunneling is PEACEFUL, defensive at best. You can't dig them in a floodplain, they would be useless for holding the Mothermouth Moorland territory

Tallkit is born into a terrible position. Son of the head tunneler, mother in a terrible depression, and Heatherstar trying to pry a wedge between the "future" and the "past"

Im also planning to change his name. He was born Slowworm-Kit, which has a connotation of cleverness in Clanmew. To bully him, Shrewpaw calls him Wormtail, because Slowworms drop their tails if pulled. It means "you will get trapped in a cave-in, and when they pull your tail, it'll fall off"

But it doesn't translate well into English... so I'm not sure what his Heatherstar-given warrior name would be. Wormwing or Wormleap maybe, like he "defied fate" to become a wonderful moor-runner...

Or maybe the prefix is Drop? Droptail as the mean bully name and Dropflight as the warrior name...

Anyway, when he returns, Heatherstar welcomes back the extra claws and honors the lesson he learned with "Talltale." In Clanmew this is "Story-travelled," his leader name meaning "Tale-star."

Anyway. Back to the cat drama

Talltail (name pending) is in a tight spot. I kind of want to show everyone being a victim except Heatherstar herself, who has all the power in this situation.

Not that it excuses anyone

Sandgorse is watching something he loves dying, an ancient tradition passed down for generations. He is trying to force his son into a position he shouldn't HAVE to occupy, but his child is the one thing he might have any control over

(Until Tall breaks it ofc)

Tallpaw was just a kid. He needed to take out his bullying and the stress on something, and that was usually his mother and the concept of tunneling

Palebird has been completely neglected by her mate as he focuses on the person he WANTS his kid to be. She NAMED a Fading Kit, a serious social taboo, and even the support of the nursery and Woolytail can't pull her out before Tall's kithood is over

Heatherstar is using Tallpaw as a political pawn and Tallpaw is too young and hurt to realize it. He was given to her sister, Dawnstripe, and endlessly praised for his skill and talent in a time where he NEEDED positive feedback

Which is making his relationships with his parents worse

All the while, there's VIOLENCE. Regular raids and counterstrikes. Cats die and get injured, and it only escalates as Tall gets older and Cedarstar is reaching the end of his lives, hoping to end the conflict before then

And in all this chaos and uncertainty, there comes Sparrow.

Just a trader and an honored guest, there's been lots of these nomadic visitors since the time of Windstar herself, but they've become quite rare.

When Sandgorse dies suddenly in that collapse (TITLE DROP) Talltail has the push he finally needs. It's too much. He can't process this

Sparrow begs him to leave with them, they don't even need to confront anyone, just come!

IF IT SUCKS HIT DA BRICKS

I have tons of really nice little things planned for this part of the story. It's several chapters of Talltail being free.

He engages in the funeral rites of Wee Hen, asking if he may sit vigil for her. His new family is honored to allow it, Reena even tries to do it too and falls asleep

(Little sister energy)

They meet all sorts of people and go to many places. Talltail learns that the world is vast, and there's an endless amount of knowledge out here.

It all starts crashing down when him and Jake find a litter of abandoned kittens, and become parents.

They're a few moons old.. around the same age as his halfsibs back home.

It starts bringing back memories. He wonders how they're doing. If they made a nice grave for Sandgorse...

The sudden longing for his own mother strikes him like lightning.

For the first time in eons, he feels GUILT over leaving. He thought it was over-- he's living his own life now!

But what if they're hurt? What if there was a battle and he couldn't help? What if his mentor died and he didn't even know?

What kind of a horrible son doesn't even say goodbye?

The problems that made him leave seem so small now, and the homesickness is like acid leaking from his stomach, dissolving his guts and leaving him hollow

He's raising kits who will never know what it means to earn a title, or have a permanent home, or--

(Any of the other things he should have learned don't have meaning outside of clan culture. Things they wouldn't miss.)

He cherishes the memories he makes here, raising children with his mate, but something turns inside of Talltail. Like the groaning ache of a hundred stones on top of a decaying mineshaft

The REAL collapse is this. An existential crisis Talltail can't escape from.

And eventually, it comes tumbling down with one last, horrible nightmare.

In his dream, he came home only to find the sandy camp abandoned, the dens decrepit, full of musty scent and cobwebs.

Sandgorse was there. And they talked.

His dad was gruff as always, disappointed. But he didn't say anything the real Sandgorse would say.

The nightmare said, "You really did turn out like me. We both left your mother when she needed us. Turned our backs on our leader. And now we're both dead to WindClan."

Tall wakes up crying. Jake is there to comfort him, but the conversation they have is sad.

Jake tries to tell him that's all not true, and even if it WAS his dad, his dad sucked and would only say that to hurt him!

But... Tall can't believe it. Jake's right but also wrong. He IS all those horrible things.

And...... how can jake ever Understand? He does not know the Bonds of a Clan cat

(thought terminating cliche. Outsiders Cant Understand Our Bonds.)

He stays a few more days, but that nightmare was the end. And everyone sees the change.

The kits are apprentice-aged. He stayed until they would be old enough to keep up with the Algernauts.

And he says goodbye. He won't ever leave without saying goodbye ever again.

Jake says it doesn't have to be goodbye, he'll always love him, and they can visit! They can see each other again!

And Tall says yes. That this isn't the end. It's... see you later, my love.

(...but they both know how violent it's getting between Wind and Shadow. It isn't safe to visit.)

It is the end. But neither can admit it.

But after Tall is a fair distance away, one of his kits tackles him.

POSSIBLY Post-Tallstar's Collapse

Not sure if I'd put these in a novella or still make it part of it, but these are all directly related to the fallout of Tallstar's Collapse

Most likely is that there would be overlap between this and Brokenstar's Cataclysm, so the same events would be seen in different perspectives.

The kit's name is Fly. Tall has to wait for him to catch his breath and stop crying before they can talk.

Fly already lost parents before. He says he knows he can't make his dads stay together, "But PLEASE, papa, let me choose where I go this time!"

How could he say no? How could he send his son away after a plea like that?

He told him it would be hard. That he would be trained. That there would be dangerous fights.

Fly didn't care, he said he could be strong. He could do anything he needed to.

So... Tall took him to WindClan, where he became Flypaw. He became the warrior he promised he would be.

And Tall didn't notice how much the kid was changing until it was too late. Flytail took to it as if he was Clanborn-- but had to work twice as hard, fight thrice as viciously.

Though Talltail was graced with an Honor Title and open arms, he'd adopted his greatest rival.

Fly and Tall started competing for deputyship as soon as they finished training apprentices; Heatherstar had a fondness for the two of them.

In the end, Talltail won the spot by springing into action and saving Heatherstar's young nephew, a little golden tabby, from an adder.

Flytail continued as one of the more aggressive warriors in the Clan, surviving increasingly violent and bitter battles, until it came to a head in Heatherstar's Last Stand.

Her final battle as an old leader was a gruesome, definitive curbstomp in the last strategic point ShadowClan held above Carrionplace.

One of the losses was Lizardstripe-- neck snapped in Flytail's jaws.

Runningnose, and by extension, the oak-tree to his long-shadow, Brokentail, remembered this. Especially when Runningnose's father Mudfoot collapsed later that year.

As Talltail took leadership from the dying Heatherstar, a familiar regretful guilt wormed into his belly.

His son Flytail stood with a bloody mouth, eyes wet with sorrow, looking down at the leader Talltail once loved almost as much. Appreciating her sacrifice.

(secretly he didnt choose Deadfoot as his deputy just for his honor title or the battle move he invented... he chose him because there was a shocked, sorrowful look in his eyes at the fallen shadowclan cat. Sympathy seems more honorable in this moment.)

Tallstar is a wise leader... but his fatal flaw is naivety. How could he think he'd bring his son into WindClan, and not see the boy grow into a ferocious Warrior?

And naivety is what he displayed when he offered Raggedstar a peace deal. WindClan would keep the land, but they would pay a small tax of rabbits over the winter.

It was unprecedented. It was merciful. It was stupid.

When the winter was over, what would stop them from pushing further south?

Would they trade back the frogs and the flax, come summer?

On the blood and bones of so many warriors? As if giving up was ever an option?

Brokentail killed his father to prevent him from taking the deal, and reawakened Ripplestar's War Tactics.

BURN the peat. KILL the prey. OFFENSE is defense. A dead warrior is 10 less claws. A dead apprentice is 1 less warrior.

Stolen kittens are 1 more warrior on your own side.

Tallstar paid the ultimate price for letting Flytail follow him home that day. On the night of the massacre, Flytail went down fighting alongside a mate and a daughter. Dogpiled by Tangleburr and her squadron in revenge for Lizardstripe and Mudfoot.

Tallstar's granddaughter Stoneclaw, made a warrior and sitting for her vigil on that night, was the sole survivor of the little family.

The event stopped her from speaking again, like she's still sitting vigil.

Tallstar is a character who almost broke free of the control of the Clans. For a brief moment of his life, he was free.

He thought maybe he could change things a little, protect his Clanmates from the battles by being part of them, have the Mothermouth Moorland and protect the peace at the same time. But you CAN'T.

You can't fix broken systems without fundamentally changing them. He thought he could be a nice warlord and that would work on the Clan whose territory he had inherited. Power acts through people just as much as they act through power.

And that's Tallstar. He who travels the world, yet is never able to go far enough. Always falling just a little short of the point, believing that love and mercy is enough while blissfully ignorant of the pressures of pride and power.

Into this role, as a successor to this leader, Onestar is unwillingly thrust.

[archerbeans]

talking about the art style for this show because I am lowkey (high key) obsessed with it and how unique and genius it is.

Warning: this is sort of a long-ish post. Everything here stated is purely subjective lol

S1’s style has a certain charm to it but personally doesn’t actually give me that wave of “nostalgia” (I started watching the show in 2023 summer) but it does have a certain aura to it. I personally love experimental styles and for the time this came out I still consider it to be very unique. Noting the experimental phase of it where things look less polished and the line weight isn’t as well executed as it is in the later seasons.

Using rigging for the time this series came out was certainly a bold choice with the realism and complex designs that this show used while also having a perfect balance with well done cartoony style. Archer is one of the most well known cartoons when you look into rigged animation! Floyd County’s process of using Illustrator and After effects together at the time was certainly bold as well. The team for this show was not as big as most people might think, as it states in the Art of Archer book that there were around 70 artists, illustrators, etc.. that worked on production. Compared to the average Hollywood animated movie, it’s surely a small crew. Using multiple levels for character movement, as the usual storyboarding that’s essential for any animated project (you cannot have a quality animated series without story boarding!), having to design an entire new model when the state of any character changes (scars, scrapes, torn clothes, etc..) which becomes a lot of extra strain, along with the actual design process in illustrator and using skeletal positioning as well. It’s truly impressive imo!

The backgrounds and settings throughout the show were also very cleverly executed. Using 3d modeling and royalty free assets to paint textures and the amount of detail was insane. Apparently Adam had a good eye for everything.

I really admire the effort that goes into all of the details in the show’s settings, along with the painted scenery. Which only improves over time. As you can see the quality difference between the earlier seasons and the latest.

S1 Malory’s office and S2 Tunt Manor

Vs

S6 Office and Tunt Manor. Notice the different in light fixtures and textures, the marble walls moving away from more of a tile texture, and the lighting in Malory’s office is much more smooth, the texture of the chairs, etc.. I love the improvement.

The more obvious and interesting part about all of this is the actual character design changing over time. I will always wonder what those first season 1 and 2 storyboards looked like. (If anyone ever finds any info on that please feel free to let me know! Ik there’s a few artists portfolios out there that are more easy to find and I’ve seen S12/11/etc..)

As with S1, it had a certain charm to it in which I love. The funny looking experimental angles, I wish we got to see more of, just for the silliness alone. Im glad they tried their best with dynamic poses. </3

I’d say there’s definitely even just a difference between the line weight in S1 vs S2, it’s slightly more smooth in S2 depending on the pose. Depending on the show you’re watching, I noticed line weight is sort of an underrated and mostly overlooked technique upon other people I’ve seen talk about art styles. It adds a lot of depth. Dynamic poses are not easy.

Not all line weight is used for dynamic posing though

I love this shot in particular. From what I remember and notice the most is that this is the first shot in the show where there’s much detail like the card reflection of the characters, they’re flipped like proper mirroring (obviously the modelling is not perfect for Ray, he still looks a little janky which isn’t a huge shock since we only saw him a handful of times in previous season) But the line weight for Malory’s thumb is something I appreciate very much and just thought this was a cool shot and shows a huge step up. The text boldness and format is also well done.

I guess the last elephant in the room surely is the actual style for the characters changing over time. There are about 3 different changes throughout the series, based on looks, clothing and movement. I wont get into specifics but it is always going to be entertaining to me how stiff and wonky certain shots looked. Not everything looked super goofy though.

I will never hate you scoliosis Lana </3

It’s very entertaining to see the changes through out the show.

(Malory’s hair was a tragic mess. Bless her cold heart <3)

First two seasons are where its flip flopped the most. Models were more stiff, tho on the brighter side the movements were still up to par with the action scenes. It’s still perfection. Some of the one-offs had funny designs (Krimenski, Uta, Mannfred, etc..)

Fast forwarding to S3 is when the improvements finally come in,

Noticeably mostly with Archer, Malory and Cyril (though he still has his old glasses. I much prefer his post S5 ones)

Lana and Ray still look a little off but certainly different in face shapes and Lana is much less- “S” shaped lol. Pam has improved looks as well.

The side profiles have had an improvement as well up to this point. But it doesn’t change much going down the line. The side profiles are very rarely shown. Krieger’s head finally looks less stiff as well. Cheryl looks completely different, with her hair being much more consistently styled. Also, notice the clothing saturation specifically, it’s much more toned down. The colours tend to match better more than they did before in S1 nd 2.

Completely new character…. Hah.

Moving on past S3, since the character models stay pretty much the same, everyone at this point has their new looks leveled out, notably Ray and Lana

This style pretty much remains the same through out the next few couple seasons. The models and settings have a new flair, the lighting improved immensely, especially with Vice. I dont wanna drag this on for too long but the modeling stays the same until the coma seasons.

One of the biggest reasons I love the coma seasons is that it brings a lot more to the table for the show as I played around with 3 different completely new environments. It mostly likely brought a lot of new people to the production crew as it cover a lot of architectural different and themes (jungle islands, temples, spacecrafts, etc.. )

Going forward past the coma seasons straight to S11 is where the style gets a little harder to explain the huge differences. Backgrounds and shots look very polished and none of the characters look stiff in any way anymore.

We’ve also gained more soft lighting on the characters compared to mostly pre S6, dynamic lighting was improved immensely. In the Art of Archer book the majority of the animation process that is presented is mostly BTS for S6 and so on, though it does go into the works of Vice, its mostly with the musical production though they do delve a bit into the music video, which is a whole other level of its own. The environmental feel excels greatly with the lighting changes and also background ambience. Much of which was actually visible in the Danger Phone mobile game (RIP </3) I’ve always thought the sound design in this show was clever enough but it got significantly better over time.. Atmosphere makes a big difference. I’d love to add more specific examples but tumblr DOES have a limit on media that can be in one single post. But I can recommend going back and rewatching the show wearing headphones/earbuds and you will notice the difference.

Just a few extra things I wanted to point out is that as much as the animation has improved there are little quirks I do miss about the older seasons, for example the clothing colour changes. It really added more depth and realism to the show and I think despite it being subtle it was something that the majority of us fans enjoyed. But assuming they needed a different model for every colour worn, I could see why it was weeded out. Maybe it helped with the polish! That’s just personal bias.

The difference is subtle, but it’s there! The faces shapes and body proportions have been “improved” slightly. But I genuinely think thats due to setting changes and having higher quality animation tools. But lighting makes a huge difference.

I don’t have a lot of cons for the art style improvement besides really that “nostalgia” feeling a lot of ppl have for this show. I personally believe pre- S11 is when the artstyle was the best, of course with having a few sacrifices

Not sure how I feel about this one. He looks less like an ocelot in the right panel. The colours do look better but Babou’s eyes are eyes extremely different, not a fan of it. Some things just look better than before!

I would also like to take a moment to appreciate this gal’s glow up.. Not to drive too far from the point of this post but Im glad they kept Trinette relevant.

Not 3, but 4 different improvements. Even though she has 3 completely different hairstyles there’s still the difference in quality..

Anyhow, I’ve run out of gas for this post and I’ve pretty much covered mostly everything I wanted to go over. I definitely would like to cover more on this topic but unfortunately tumblr has different plans.

Anyways I love this show so much and everything a bit and probably has one of the most compelling art styles out there with a very passionate studio. I think Floyd County is unique on its own and even just outside the art style there’s a lot more to be said about this show’s greatness. If you read this far and actually enjoyed reading my word vomit… well- thanks! Hoping to write more someday if I get any more literate than LOL

If i missed any details or got anything wrong then plz let me know! Most of everything here is subjective and I may perhaps be a bit biased with some things, but thats just me

[kindestofkings]

sunshine baby [1]

robert keating x reader (she/her)

faceclaim: gracie abrams (ofc hahah)

authors note: hello hello! this is a really random one, I am a broken record but I am self projecting in these hence why the reader is always home friends with the boys. also theres so many time skips lol

I really home you enjoy, would really appreciate any feedback or comments yee might have <33

2020

yourusername

liked by bobbyskeetz and others

yourusername 2 months into lockdown we are playing, we are hot girl walking and most importantly we are hot girl drinking 💅

view all 20 comments

bobbyskeetz thanks for choosing the most flattering photos luv x

yourusername any time baby any time :))

yourbestfriend i miss you and your impromptu sing songs <3

yourusername no I miss you so much !! boys are really smelly sometimes 😀 yourbestfriend thats what you get for dating bobby SKEETZ bobbyskeetz heyy yourusername I know right?? bobbyskeetz HEYYYY

elijahhewson there is very little going on behind those eyes

yourusername the bulmers was very warm... and we just lost a zoom quiz

joshjenkinson_ keep our boy sane !

yourusername and whos gonna keep me sane?? whos gonna keep me alive? ryanmcmahon_15 did you put yourself on the line?

yourusername

liked by yourbestfriend and others

yourusername as y'all know I dabble with playing some piano andddd my very cool, talented boyfriend and his friends asked me to play on a few tunes for their DEBUT ALBUM. thank you for briefly employing me :))

view all 30 comments

joshjenkinson_ no thank YOU

ryanmcmahon_15 we owe you forever, this is so exciting !

bobbyskeetz as your boss can you make me a cuppa?

yourusername and your legs stopped working when?? also you're closer to the kitchen than I am rn!

bobbyskeetz they just cant take the weight of being such a musical success 😔 friend1 @bobbyskeetz how does she put up with you? bobbyskeetz shh dont make her reflect on her decisions

yourmam so proud of you chicken!!

yourbestfriend and the start of your music career is when?

yourusername oh hush you heheh elijahhewson she asks the important questions yourusername why be a musician when you can be a broke college student right 😀

yourusername posted to their story!

if the boys have zero fans, i am dead.

bobbyskeetz so extreme but I love you <3

bobbyskeetz

liked by joshjenkinson_ and others

bobbyskeetz EVEN BIGGER NEWS !!! Our greatest hits debut album is coming out on July 16th for all you beautiful people to hear. We poured our hearts and souls into this and can’t wait for you to listen . Couldn’t have done it without @theantski @thedrewmanshow @johncatlin @andrea.cozzaglio and all the other talented people who helped get this record finished.

IT WONT ALWAYS BE LIKE THIS !

view all 100 comments

bobbyskeetz ALSO @yourusername for the pretty piano playing

yourusername hushhh rn CONGRATS ON THE SUPERB album

inhalerfan1 i'm seriously so proud of you guys 💙

inhalerfan2 finallyyyy

yourmam well done boys!! huge achievement

bobbyskeetz thank you :))

yourusername

liked by yourmam and others

yourusername it is very cool and a lil strange seeing my fella on posters while im on my daily hot girl walk....

it always be wont this like is out today woooo!

view all 15 comments

elijahhewson I dont remember that photo being taken ����

yourusername you just release your debut album you gotta celebrate! yourfriend shes just too nice, you were locked.

yourmam lovely photo, why are yee outdoors though? 😂

bobbyskeetz sure we're following covid restrictions! you're looking at four v responsible boys!! yourmam hmmm I don't know about that one now!

yourbestfriend no cause robert and sir hewson would wanna stop looking into my soul..

elijahhewson 😐😐 bobbyskeetz 😐😐 bobbyskeetz what about josh huh he's also throwin some looks yourbestfriend josh can do whatever he wants 🫶🏼 (liked by joshjenkson_ and yourusername)

yourusername oh also everyone compliment ryan on his GORGEOUS hair

yourbestfriend such a power move I adore x yourfriend ryan how does it feel being coolest member of dublin's coolest band?? joshjenkson_ so fit, is he single...?

bobbyskeetz not sure if you got the album name exactly right there..

yourusername huh I dont see anything wrong 🤔

2021

yourusername

liked by bobbyskeetz and others

yourusername the trio is back and just in time to see the boys killing it at fairview park 🔥

view all 15 comments

yourbestfriend forget about them WE are killing it

yourfriend mmhmm we slay 😤

yourbestfriend posted to their story!

when the base player with a staring problem is away, the girlies can steal his girlfriend 🤘🏼

bobbyskeetz oi oi get your feet of my dining table 😤

bobbyskeetz

liked by yourusername and others

bobbyskeetz happy birthday beautiful.

view all 50 comments

inhaler1 this is my thirteenth reason 💔

yourusername miss you rockstar!

inhaler1 miss girl who are you? and can you please accept my follow request

inhaler2 nooooooo you're taken ?!?

ryanmcmahon_15 hundreds of girls heartsbroken with the softest of soft launches haha

lewevans the spooky powers of mr skeetz

yourbestfriend FINALLY you're letting him show you off

yourusername haha this is too much please stop 🥺 🥰

inhalerfanupdates

liked by inhalerfan1 and others

inhalerfanupdates I hope its real cause I need a gun after seeing bobbys soft launch

view all 10 comments

inhalerfan1 im so sad I cant

inhalerfan2 im afraid to ask but how long do you think they've been together

inhalerfan3 i 😭 cant 😭😭 think 😭😭😭 about 😭😭😭😭 it

part 2

[mrradmccoolman]

hello everynyan!! it's baby's second (?) tumblr post. i present to you:

ELLIOTT'S ANDERPERRY SONG ANALYSIS

okay, so, here's the gist of it: i have an ever-growing playlist on spotify of songs i feel fit neil, todd, or their relationship as a whole. each song is not only one i like, but also has lyrics that represent something specific about them. this sort of thing is something ive done for multiple characters for a long time, and ive always had carefully curated reasons behind my choices. i just recently got back into the dps fandom, and thought this would be a good way to not only show how i see the characters, but also become a part of the community on Tumblr myself :)

i will not be doing every song simply because i do not have the time and the playlist is way too long for that, but i'll definitely be choosing some favorites. i'll most likely just post whenever i feel like it, so i can't promise any sort of a timeline. this is just a little project i thought would be fun, especially considering the fics im working on take me ages lol 😅

sooo without further ado: song number one is....

Habanero by Rosie Tucker

i've been listening to a lot of rosie tucker's music lately, and this song really stood out to me as a todd/neil song from neil's perspective. one of the reasons i connect so much to neil as a character is because i see myself in him, and subsequently how he handles what i see as a very real depressive disorder throughout the movie. this song makes me think of his feelings and relationship with todd in canon, how he sees himself and todd, and the bittersweet-ness of loving someone in the "wrong" way.

"...you said "this never happens to me, this never happens" but you smile while you suffer so you're lying or wrong" this lyric encapsulates a big part of neil's perception of todd, especially towards the beginning of the movie. it specifically reminds me of the "what do you mean no?" scene and the argument they have leading up to it. it also alludes to todd's poem scene in front of the class and neil's reaction to it. he sees todd as saying this sort of bewildered, in awe, "this never happens to me," because, well, for todd, that's how it feels. he doesn't speak in front of people, he doesn't share parts of himself like that. i actually believe he didn't even really write poetry on his own before keating's class, either, so even writing at all is a big step for him- never mind showing others. we know todd hates public speaking and being perceived (although it's a lot more complicated than that, but i won't get into it here) so he "smiles while (he) suffers" because even though this is something he hates and feels so much shame about, a part of him is amazed and happy he did it at all. thus the "you're lying or wrong" from neil- i see this as neil recognizing that actually, knowing todd, this isn't the first time he's done something like this like he might think. in truth, todd says and does beautiful things like this all the time. though todd sees himself as dull and embarassing, neil sees the truth. we often think of neil as recognizing todd as a diamond in the rough, but people are more complicated than that. really, todd has always had this beauty inside him- this is just the first time he (and everyone else) has gotten the opportunity to really see it. neil feels vindicated in a sense, because he knew it was there.

"i'm never happy, but i've never been better" i feel this lyric is pretty straightforward when it comes to neil. he has depression, which makes it so so hard to feel happy, even when you think you should- and most of the time, neil doesn't even have those moments. todd isn't some cure-all for his problems, and certainly doesn't make his depression go away, but he's a huge aid to neil. he's the one person who really sees him. even if neil still isn't happy in the traditional way, he still feels better around todd. another thing i could get into buttt this post is already gonna be long enough as is lol.

"i need to see you sweat" i feel this one is also pretty self explanatory. it's sexuality and desire, something neil has likely not felt to this level before. especially when you're depressed, it's hard to feel any sort of desire. i feel that any thoughts neil would have would already be pretty vague because of his internalized homophobia, but this would be similar to the way he would allow himself to verbalize his feelings. there are a lot of great fics out there that i feel really encapsulate this well.

"wouldn't we be perfect together if we wanted exactly the same thing?" i would argue that the majority of the fandom kind of accepts neil's feelings for todd as pretty obviously requited, even though interestingly enough, from an outside perspective i would actually argue neil's feelings are the most obviously canon. not that i don't definitely believe todd feels the same, nor do i think this is a bad thing- it's just that the entire movie revolves around identity, and neil's passion for acting serves as a metaphor for queerness pretty obviously, and beyond that acting is associated with queer identity as a whole, another reason behind mr. perry's aversion to it. neil doesn't know if todd feels the same as he does. even if things may seem obvious to us, this isn't "normal" for the time period and so i believe wholeheartedly that neil didn't know todd had any feelings for him. was this more his own self hatred, him protecting himself, or that anything he saw that may have alluded to reciprocation he convinced himself was his own mind playing tricks on him? probably a mixture of all three.

"but i smile while i suffer like a sucker supreme" even though neil knows this won't end well, that his feelings are "wrong" and this is hurting him in the long run, he can't help himself when it comes to todd. he's a sucker for him and the feelings he gets being around him.

"all at once i'm a child trapping tadpoles in a cup, and i know they'll never make it (...) but i smile while they suffer 'cause i want it so much" neil knows being in the play, being with todd, and defying his father is a losing game. he knows, on a distant level, that he'll never get away with it. maybe during the play he finally, for one gorgeous moment, truly believed things would change- but then his father shows up and proves he was right all along. he knows he's doomed, that todd was right to doubt his plan to lie to his father in the first place, but he wants it so badly he doesn't care (or, more than that, he feels so incredibly trapped that he's given up and has resigned himself to the consequences). not only this, but his depression has made his latching onto the one thing that gives him hope even more intense. to be ripped away from this, the only thing he's ever wanted- the only person he's ever wanted- is the end. he knows that. even so, even though he can see the futility of it all crumbling beneath him, he sees the fall through.

"i can't believe i'll die before becoming a frog" there's a sort of disbelief in his resignation to death in his final moments, a darkly humorous "i can't believe it's come to this, that this is really happening" despite not really being surprised. neil is cutting everything short and throwing away his potential before his father gets the chance to do it for him. he'll never "become a frog" in so many ways- never get to live for himself, never get to become an adult, never get to act again, etc.

well...that was very long! if you've made it to the end of this post, i hope this was as fun for you as it was for me :)) i'll definitely be doing more of these as time goes on!! let me know your thoughts!!

(the playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3Fh97W8EItmoJHjQvjsBl4?si=WoH7J5GHTfmt3v7OuqbHnQ&pi=6x2g03n8Q1Knc )

| next ->

[hallowpen]

Hi, same anon from the mxfruit ask :) im sorry if im bothering you too much, but you mentioned there are other darker skinned or afroasians influencers/artists…would you mind telling me which ones do you follow/are your favorites? Would love to give them support as well :)

It's not a bother AT ALL!!! I appreciate you wanting to show support... it means a lot ❤️❤️❤️

I'm going to start off with the KING (not literally hehe) Morris K. If you are a fan of Thai BL, then you'll probably recognize him from Triage... and if you haven't seen Triage then I highly recommend you do!!! But... he has quite the acting career under his belt. He's been very open about his struggles being half-black, and how his being the first black celebrity in Thailand was a difficult journey. He's a huge advocate for more opportunities for Thai-black people in show business. He literally paved the way and I have great respect for him.

Tsunari. She is half-Thai and half-Trinidadian. If you're a fan of rap or hip hop, then I highly recommend her music. She often mixes in some english with her thai lyrics... and she's done a few covers of western artists. Give her a listen on youtube!!!

badmixy. She is an openly trans and proud Thai singer. She writes her own music and her lyrics have occasionally brought me to tears. Again, give her a listen over on youtube.

Rusameekae Fagerlund. He is an openly queer Senegalese-Thai actor, model, and mc. He's done several interviews to raise awareness about homophobia and racism in Thailand. He was named Scene Stealer of the Year in 2016 for his role in เพื่อนรัก เพื่อนร้าย (Best Friends, Bad Friends). He was a host on "Dress My Love" which is available on youtube (I don't think it's subbed though) which was a fun program where they would talk about fashion and have couples on as guests where one would style the other according to a certain theme.

Nam Patcharaporn and Maeya Nonthawan. Both are beauty pageant winners who faced criticism and unnecessary backlash for their darker skin.

Suzie Natthawadee. She is a social media influencer and vlogger that gained popularity when she spoke up about the Black Lives Matter movement in the United States and how Thailand should reflect on their own ideas about race and skin color. You can follow her on ig and tiktok @ suziewadee.

Esther Oruche. I might have spoken about her before hehe. She's fairly new to the scene, but I'm very much looking forward to her future projects... have I mentioned The Last Case enough??? I don't think so.... Please support her and her series!!!

[friend-crow]

Hi crow, hope you're doing well. I have a question for you and/or your mutuals reading this.

Im usually too sick and unwell to cast spells anymore, gathering all the ingredients is the biggest problem because i have to walk and thats really painful with my crps. I feel i have the emotional energy for spellcasting but not the physical energy. I have so many spells I'd like to cast but am just stuck in bed too often to do them. Whats a bedridden friendly way to cast spells? I've heard someone in the community mention "energy batteries" but i didn't really look into it. I feel my most useful spell I've done is a wishing necklace, i enchanted the necklace years ago and occasionally make wishes with it that come true, but i don't think i can rely only on that for spellcasting when im not feeling well. Im starting to ramble so I'll end it here. Thanks for any advice.

Hello! I'm sorry to hear you've been struggling. I'm not sure how applicable my advice will be for your situation, especially without knowing what sort of magical framework you're working with, but I'll give it a shot!

Something that's helpful for me is having premade spell vessels for the main sort of categories of needs I might have, which I can recharge and repurpose as needed. There's still a certain amount of set-up involved, but if you can manage to work on them when you're having a relatively good pain day, then you can (ideally) have them on hand for when you're not feeling up to a whole crafting process.

Example: I enjoy planetary magic as a system because you have 7 "planets" (the classical planets include the sun and moon), and they each have their things they can help you with. Between the 7 of them you can basically get your needs met. So I have a book that I made for Jupiter, which has images of the planet, the symbol, seal, kamea square, Orphic hymn, etc. in it, and inside the back cover is a little envelope where I can put petitions for what I currently need. The idea is that it's supposed to function as a sort of combination talisman and portable shrine, so when I want to do something under Jupiter's rulership, I basically just need pen, paper, a candle, and incense to repurpose it.

Side note: I don't know if you're interested in planetary magic, but I plan on making a series of zines that's basically a zine version of what I described above, one for each planet, that people can print out and assemble for free. Eventually. When I'm not drowning in work and other projects.

Along these lines, I recently posted about the fact that I do my job from bed about 60% of the week. I don't have a laptop, so I've had to get creative with my computing setup so that I can use my PC while reclining in bed. It's taken a few years to get my setup dialed in, but something like getting an overbed table can make a huge difference (I think mine was like $70 and worth every penny). Burning candles in bed is iffy, but maybe you can set up an extra bedside table or something for spell work, and really dial in the most basic components you need and can keep within reach. Simple is good! You can really do a lot with just pen and paper.

I also know people who do a lot of spell work during astral travel, which requires no materials or movement. I don't have a ton of experience in this area as I tend to really enjoy working with physical materials, but that might be an avenue to explore.

Alright, that's my thoughts on the matter for the moment. Opening it up to mutuals!

[lorax-devito]

Ahhh melvins fist kiss,such a lovely,romantic moment with such tenderness and definitely not el thinking and getting really happy over the fact that they might become siblings

okay I will admit malnourished fallopian tube can have some cute moments but this kiss just rubbed me the wrong way…it just seems very…forced and yeah,I get that ‘actions speak louder than words’ and all that but it’s just with the context it all just seems a bit…icky…

I’m not saying like forced himself into el but he kinda did,not in a technically bad way bc el never said no and all the complex stuff I’m not going to get into but by forced I mean that Mike got influenced or forced by Lucas and well el,she was fresh outta the lab she had no clue what was happening and as much as a want to regain my self from bringing up the whole ‘you’d be my brother’ incident (bc I bring it up a lot when comparing byler or using Melvin as an example for smth )I’m going too bc omg 😭the girl was not only okay with them just being bffs but she was exited over the idea of them being related and yeah,in els eyes that’s probably just friends considering the whole oh yeah,she was raised in a lab and called (I forgot her name) the other girl in leather her sister and papa told the other kids that they were all siblings and all that messed up stuff so ig she just sees siblings as friends or (the whole thing in s4 with her getting bullied in the lab and battered by the other kids In the lab) potential bullies.idk that’s just how I veiwed it but anyways here’s the byler stuff-

I’m leaning more onto the ‘passionate,sudden,I’ve gotta have you righty here right now’ kinda kiss with byler (if that’s the right way to explain it lol) but I also think a slow, gentle kiss with byler would be such a good contrast to mouldy eggs rushed kiss.the best way I can describe it is like the kiss in the fan fic ‘wills fluffy hair’ (I’ll link it at the bottom).

(I’m pretty sure that’s the right fic but they all kind of merge into one so if I got it wrong and realise I’ll change it later 💀)

if you can’t be bothered to read it basically Mike asks if will is okay,will cry’s bc he thinks Mike is lying/teasing him,it’s angst and I love it

basically the kids would be slow and Mike and will just taking their time,no interruptions,they keep asking each other is every inch or so that they move closer is okay and if anyone thinks ‘ewww that’s not hot or anything’ CONSENT IS MF HOT OK IM ALL FOR THE BIG ROMANTIC KISS WHERE THEY GO ALL IN AND ITS MESSY AND STUFF BUT IT CAN STILL BE ROMANTIC WITH CONSENT-okay,mini rant over,anyway they are both so terrified bc (Im pretty sure I’m quoting a fic rn😭god help me) is this allowed? Are they allowed to do this? It feels so wrong yet so right.

they have one small kiss,they’re lips barely touching or they are rlly close,noses brushing up against one another,neither one of them daring to be the one to break the small wall between their lips and omg I think I’ve done it again,good god I’ve quoted a fic,again😭

basically they are both so nervous and scared and then suddenly for one small moment everything goes away,they’re kissing and oh god it feels like heaven and then they both start crying and the just keep being big romantic,cheesy dorks and it’s emotional and all of the miscommunication gets cleared up and yeah,I just think that’s a nice way the byler kiss could go,I’m still a huge rain fight kiss fan (tbh I like most scenarios where they kiss and fall in live and are happy forever😭) but this is also nice,it itches a different kind a scratch,plus I just know that Noah would be able to pull his best acting skills out for that scene and melt our hearts which he’ll do anyway but we all know how this he is at crying scenes (I mean he’s had a lot of practice,I’m looking at you suffer bros🥲)

I think it’s is the right fic but as I said if I notice that I got it wrong then I’ll change it later,it’s still an amazing fic tho,so much angst😭😭

[popcornforone]

Spoilt

A Mr Ben Fic

Day 31 of Pedrototber (SAG Awards Prompt)

Masterlist

31 days

31 Fics

Over 32000 words

I started writing these on September the 20th when I was feeling unwell on holiday & now here we are. The last one.

Honestly I’m gonna feel a little bit lost. This has been such a project & im incredibly proud of everything I’ve written & of all the love I’ve received. So this one is written entirely for me. I am my main audience & today is my Birthday (Seriously it is) so I thought I would give myself the gift of Mr Ben!

Synopsis:- It’s your birthday & your boyfriend Ben gives you the perfect start to your evening.

Word count:- 1500

Warnings over & above:- piv sex, lots of passion & swearing & promises, basically whatever you want Ben to do for your that sweet & spicy to start your birthday off he does.

Thank you all so so much for reading all of these. I’m incredibly proud of what everyone has done art, edits & writing wise.

A huge shout out to @alyssamariag & @norththelemon for setting this all up. Maybe I’ll be back next year for it.

October 31st, Halloween. Yep it’s that day again. The day when you are kind of forgotten in the larger scheme of it all. Everyone wants to go do a fright night, or pick pumpkins, or trick or treat. But no you don’t. The world might celebrate Halloween, but you don’t. You celebrate your birthday.

Unless it’s the weekend you can’t even ever really have your birthday off. You work as a Payroll advisor, so the last day of the month people are always asking where their payslip is or why it’s different to last month. Work did remember this year. A balloon was put on your desk, & you all went out for lunch. A dodgy burger place, they actually do make a wonderful cheese burger, you wouldn’t think it but they do. When you’d done your last set of payslips they said you could leave early. So you’ve got home & face timed your family. You’re seeing them all tomorrow. You & your mum share a birthday week so always do a big joint thing every year. Your sister who’s having a baby in the spring has even volunteered to pick you up so both you & your partner can drink.

You’ve opened the cards that arrived & have made a cup of tea & are sat on the sofa wondering what to do before your other half arrives at 5ish depending on the traffic. He has less lessons on Thursday so you know he will be in then, he’s usually home before you on a Thursday anyhow. So you sit there flicking through your iPad when up it pops on your feed.

PEDRO PASCAL IS PEOPLE MAGAZINES SEXIEST PERSON ALIVE!!!

You almost drop your drink. You sit there & scroll through the article & admire his new photo shoot. He always looks so soft & sweet like he is boyfriend material, but you know deep down he’s probably a menace. This sends you down a rabbit hole & it’s not long before you have the SAG award speech he gave, up on the main TV on Netflix. Admiring those curls & that whole outfit & how adorable & humble he was. You rewind it each time after he does the interview afterwards to go back & watch his moments again. It’s your comfort as you sit there sipping your tea, sighing.

“Pedro again” you leap around like you’ve been caught masturbating. You hadn’t heard your partner come in. He’s already taken his coat off & is holding a big bunch of purple tulips for you. You pause the TV. A genuine smile forms on your lips because the one he has for you is contagious.

“What you weren’t here Ben, I needed my fix of a hot man somehow” you joke.

“I know I know” he says as he walks towards you & you lean over the top of the sofa & he kissed your lips tenderly. “But is Pedro here, did he get you flowers & did he just have to fight an old lady off at the shop to get the wine you like for dinner tonight?” You kiss him back. Short little bursts of kisses making you both giddy. Like your teenagers that Ben usually teaches.

“No he’s not” you sigh”you’ll have to do & as you have Tulips & wine I’m not gonna complain.”

“I hope not” says Ben “happy birthday beautiful” He gives you another big kiss before he backs off. “I’m gonna go put these in some water then I’ll come back”

“Okay baby”

It’s only after about 5minutes that your realise Ben hasn’t come back yet. You decide to turn off the SAG awards rerun & put on a Pedro film for background noise, one you both know inside out & can quote, Triple Frontier. You always feel sorry for Pedro character Frankie that he almost dies when that donkey falls from the cliff. You’re about 10mins in when you hear a noise behind you.

“Tadah”

You turn around & your jaw drops before you uncontrollably laugh.

“What” Ben says.

“Seriously”

“Yes”

Ben has gone to the effort to try & curl part of his hair, he’s put on his geeky im marking don’t disturb me glasses, his extra tight trousers which he’s worn once & moaned so much about chafing, & then has all but 2 buttons on a white shirt undone.

“Ben are you seriously trying to cosplay as Pedro Pascal for Halloween?”

He nod & then coughs & then put on the voice which isn’t too much different to his own.

“This is wrong for so many reasons” he says quoting the awards show you watch for comfort “& this is a state of mind you know what I’m saying” you sit there laughing & blushing & extremely aroused.

“Well baby” you flurry your hand to wave him to come join you. “If your Mr Pascal, who would you like me to be to add to your fantasy” Ben then turns bright red & pushes his glasses down his nose, he knows that will get you sodden in seconds.

“Well since you’ve asked so politely, i want you to be the happiest sexiest girl who was ever born on Halloween” he says & he sits down on the sofa & pulls you into his lap. “Forget a celebrity crush, your my girl, & just your smile turns me on” you straddle him & your caress his beard.

“Aww baby” you say before he cups your face & the intense make out begins. Your body already moving knowing pleasure will be coming.”I do appreciate this Ben, but I don’t need Pedro, I just need you, your the man I love, the man I live with, the man who in 6 months time I’m going to share a name with” you then start to nibble on his ear lobe & he moans, he’s got one hand on your arse & the other desperate to find his fly.

“Yea it’s my name you will have baby”

“Im yours, you claimed me long ago”

“Oooh don’t I know it” the noise of the zip fills the room it makes you moan.

“On this sofa after a Christmas party”

“Yea what a night”

“Yea so fucking good”

“Still think it’s good baby”

“No its… oooh fuck” you are wearing a dress but he’s pushed your underwear to the side & slipped inside your cunt so easily as you were aroused & ready to take him, you slowly sink down taking all of him & it’s a earthy deep moan you let out “no Ben… it’s fucking phenomenal” you start to rock around him as he thrusts up into you.

“Fuck baby, god your extra tight tonight Jesus”

“You got me In the mood, oooh yesss baby” your mouths mould together. A swift hand slaps your arse as you grind around his penis. Each thrust even more exquisite as the last. Your walls clamping hard.

“Yes beautiful Ooooh fuck”

“Fuck Ben more more oooh fuck”

“Gonna fill you up, your mine, all mine”

“Yours fucking yours”

“Yes baby fuck yessss” Ben puts both his hands on your neck & makes intense eyes contact with you as you bounce hard around him, overwhelmed & overstimulated. It won’t be long before you cum. You feel seen. You feel loved. But the man you are looking at is not Pedro Pascal or someone dressed up trying to be him. It’s you other half your Ben. He’s the one you adore, would do anything for & the fact he’s gone to so much effort for your birthday just makes you love him even more. You bite your bottom lip, your rhythm uneven, the climax approaches. Ben sees it in your eyes & leans in & whispers into your ear that line that’s always unspoken.

“I’m Your Daddy” was he quoting Pedro? Was he saying it for real? You didn’t give a fuck. You cum, so hard the world is filled with stars, all the magic in the world is at your fingertips as your orgasm rips through you. The lap below you trembles as you almost finish your rocking. You hear a deep moan as Ben fills you up, coating you with his seed. He’s panting heavily as you rest your head on his shoulder & whisper back to him.

“So daddy,” you giggle as you say it”are you gonna have a panic attack & leave now you’ve claimed your prize?” He soothes your back as he regains his motor skills.

“Me leave you? Never” he smirks as he kisses the side of your head. “Your gonna have to do more than that to make me leave”

“Good, cos I ain’t going anywhere”

“Neither am I baby” he says lifting your head & you both chuckle as you move the curl he tried to do out of his face. “& id never leave you on your birthday”

[velvetjune]

Alan Wake 2 Lake House DLC spoilers/review (also spoilers for Control):

Had a lot of fun with this DLC! It’s short (unfortunately expected this), but sweet, although I wish I didn’t watch the trailer for it. It would’ve been amazing experiencing this with no knowledge. As a massive Control fan, I was practically thriving off of all the reading and FBC style. I have some sympathy for fans of Alan Wake who might hate Control, but these games are far more than a crossover by now and moving forward. I can see how this wouldn’t work for people who dislike that.

Personally, Remedy has done well at connecting their stories without it clashing! The AWE dlc for Control was a mixed bag for me, mostly because the story wasn’t really there and the darkness mechanics were bland. This could be because I’m very biased towards Control, but this was a great example of how to merge the settings and traits of both games in an interesting way.

The marital and mad scientist drama was terrible in the best way. I was dying every time one of the Marmonts was “hmmm Wake says we’re going to die horrifically and become monsters, but im personally better than that.”

DR DARLING… <3 He should’ve had more appearances </3

After all the deserved hate directed at AI and producing content rather than art, it was heartwarming to see promotion for Poe. I don’t know the details, but she’s barely been able to release music over the last 20 years (some songs here and there), so having an entire area dedicated to her with links to a (fingers crossed) site about an upcoming Poe project was lovely. Lots of love put towards artists in this.

Ed being there was and thinking he was in an immersive experience was incredibly funny. I’d have to look it up, but was the manuscript page in his room detailing when he was taken HERE and not him dying to taken? Was this DLC happening during the start of aw2 or right before?

I’m in love with Kiran Estevez. She can be judgmental and tries to maintain a level of calm over the situation, but her disgust, fear, humor all shine through in funny ways. Hope that she, along with at least Saga, get to be in Control 2.

Only found this out after checking Reddit (which imo is too harsh over both Night Springs and this DLC), but apparently the Dylan part is skippable. It was SUCH a highlight of this DLC. The shifting environments, the Not-Oldest House, Dylan in the “panopticon” post-Control, etc. was surreal and captivating. Usually with set ups teasers, I don’t particularly care (e.g. the AWE dlc ending was alright!), but man. The way to get it was perfectly strange. Poor Dylan. Just like Control’s “hidden” ending cutscene, this really seems to put Control 2 in the wider NYC.

Having a “person who’s only seen Boss Baby” moment: thought of tma (the podcast) with the tapes, archives, panopticon, all the weird shit. It didn’t influence this game, but I was getting flashbacks to when I listened to it (stopped caring for it, but the first few seasons were fun in a creepypasta way)

I liked the calendar puzzles. I’m not a huge fan of puzzles in games, but these were easy enough to follow without dragging on. however I did spend five minutes confused just because I got Friday and Saturday mixed up :(

The boss fight was easy in story mode lol

Diana brutally killing the taken Jules was one of the only “gross” moments of Remedy’s games and it was great! It’s not much gore, but I’ll take it.

I accidentally pressed the option to instantly destroy (?) the painting :( So im so sorry to Rudolph and I’ll be replaying this dlc soon to see what the other option is.

For my problems, I was sad that the paint monsters were mainly annoying to run from (also they’re cute). I don’t know if it was an issue on my end or a bug, but even once I went to story mode, I still wasn’t finding healing objects until the last fight. The reason I switched to story was only because my low-ish health kept instant killing me by the Painted 😭 Maybe it’s because I haven’t replayed Alan Wake in a while, but this DLC was wildly difficult. If Remedy didn’t add a whole list of assists, I’d be more frustrated, but thankfully it’s there. The map also would keep question marks and loot up even when I interacted.

I prefer the Night Springs DLC, but this was a great look into Estevez, Control, and what art is. Now, Alan Wake 2 is officially done!

[sometipsygnostalgic]

hypocritical because im a homestuck but i dont like simply extracting my favourite parts of media and leaving the rest behind.

shera fandom. i have things to say.

as a huge entrapta fan and an entrapdak fan i see a lot of other entrapdak fans try to extract the pairing from the show and label every other character as an asshole. you'll see a lot of "the princesses" or "the alliance" as this faceless whole of bullies. which drives me absolutely insane. because if you look at the show, "the alliance" is filled with a WHOLE BUNCH OF PEOPLE, each of which has a completely DIFFERENT relationship to Entrapta, and it's only Entrapta herself who ever sees them as this unified big group that she's tried to befriend. I think there's a failure here to understand how entrapta's perception of events isn't entirely accurate. Bow and Adora, for example, were always trying to get her on their side - even though she hurt them the most directly - and they let her do what she needed to do even when it resulted in untold chaos. i also think there's a failure to try to understand what ableism is present in shera and what is not, and where the writing errors lie and how they can be rectified. there's this idea of "it can NEVER be rectified and the characters CANNOT be friends", despite... yknow... the show demonstrating otherwise, and the reason this is especially egregious is I'm sure people ONLY write it that way so they can push entrapta even closer to hordak by alienating her from all her other relationships. to do otherwise would require acknowledging that hordak has done bad things to the other characters and he needs to WORK on himself if he wants to be around them.

as a huge catra fan there was a post on reddit yesterday where someone put a tier list where catra was at the bottom. there was a LOT of people saying it was terrible and the person didn't understand the show, and i feel that perception, but there was also someone saying that anyone has the RIGHT to find a character really annoying and mean, and that they see catra this way. I thought about this, and realised that SO MANY people who will diehard stan Catra and argue that the post was insane will ALSO rank GLIMMER as a bottom character, simply because they find her annoying and mean. it made me think, why is it okay for people to find glimmer annoying and hate her, but suddenly toxic and ableist (the words a certain user had) for people to find catra mean and annoying? why is one thing suddenly a problem when both characters are fundamentally the same? there is a lack of self reflection in how people regard some of the characters. you can't just take Catra out of shera, project yourself onto her, and forget about all the other characters, what she's done to them, what kind of people might connect with them. you can't decide that catra good and glimmer bad because you like catra more.